#ok with Agatha Wellbelove

[only-1-a]

Reading yet another book where they had the PERFECT SETUP for an aromantic character, and instead they’re like “Oh actually she’s a lesbian. That’s why she had no personal concept of romance.”

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

Seeing the quote about Baz basically telling Simon “it’s ok if you don’t want to be out, we don’t have to go public” and Simon says “oh no there goes my job prospect and family” or housing something (going by memory here, don’t want to check again, shit’s depressing) while Baz is like “I don’t get what the joke is” (because is not funny) makes me think…

I’ve said many times that Simon dated Agatha on survival mode. He wanted the security, the family, the house he never had, and was trying to get it in the only way heteronormativity told him he could get it. But now I’m also thinking that he was dating her in a way that might be comparable to the way people keep showing up for a job they hate. Without it, how are you going to live?... Simon assumed, as a logical consequence of going through the motions, that her parents would maybe be taking care of/helping with housing and getting a job etc. When he loses that relationship he loses access to her house and her parents, and there goes any illusion of security he told himself he could get to distract himself from “I’m gonna die pretty soon anyway.”

In a way, breaking out of heteronormativity results in Simon “losing job and family and possible housing” (their relationship didn’t just “fall apart because they want different things out of life,” it was doomed to fail from the beginning – as Penny puts it so succinctly in MRB, it didn’t work because “miserable and gay” – so in a way, being together is like being “in the closet”) (that’s also why Agatha gets to be the one breaking up the relationship: unlike Simon, she has a safety net without him, she gets to get away and travel, she gets to go home and have dad help by coming up with something for her to do (a job) – for Simon, the Wellbeloves were his safety net, without them he "has to make it all by himself")

On the surface, Simon is pointing out that he has nothing left to lose by “being out,” no one left to judge him that would actually have any impact in his life that actually matters. The mage is gone, the scandal that comes from that is fucking with “his reputation” regardless and the Wellbeloves are no longer tied to him. All he has is Baz… and Penny. (I assume he iirc doesn’t factor her in because Penny being by his side is like a “simple truth of life” by that point, like saying “water is wet” “they’re joined by the hip” etc) (he probably doesn’t consider this fully because he has a funny little way of assuming he’s dying before it gets to the hard part, but if Penny gets married that means she won’t be able to prioritize Simon like she did when there was no one else in her life – there are times when husband will have to come first, she’s going to live with him etc – whereas with Baz they are and can be each other's priorities 100%) (also the fact that Simon and Penny have talked about living together seems a bit like a Freudian slip on Simon’s part: he didn’t want to live with Agatha! … the obvious is that he didn’t actually want to marry her)

So when Baz offers to not push it, when he tells Simon he's not going to pressure him to do anything he doesn't want to... Simon doesn't see any reason to take him up on his offer. Everything he used to be afraid of losing is gone... except Baz. He's afraid of losing Baz (Baz fears later than what Simon really meant was "it's only a matter of time before I lose you" but Simon thinks "I lost everything, but I still have him, so I still feel like I got the better end of the deal" meaning that deep in his heart, Baz is the only thing he can't afford to lose. It's also reinforced when he's about to break up with him and thinks that “he can't do this, he can't talk to him like this" because "losing Baz will kill him.")

We do see Simon struggling with "being out" (and Baz notices) (hence why he's so delighted at the "gay at ikea" date – it's progress) but it says much that when Simon's being offered the chance "to hide" his relationship with Baz, his answer is a resounding no (when he's imagining "what would the mage say?" "Baz is not even alive and you're not even gay" he almost jumps out of the car right there – he can't stand it). There are many things at play with Simon's struggles, but the answer becomes easy when Baz is in front of him (he only falters when he believes Baz deserves better than him and only stays with him out of pity). Simon chooses him. He might not know or understand or even fear certain things, he might struggle with the way he treats himself. But there's no question about wanting to be with Baz.

[valeffelees]

For the shipping asks: Agatha and Niamh! I'm holding off on everything I think about them for right now 😅

Why don’t you ship it?

ok, so. here’s the thing: i like the ship fine, but i have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about it. from the moment i met agatha wellbelove i was so fucking sure she was aromantic. like, not even dicking around, when i read, “I used to think that maybe I was holding back my feelings for Simon as some sort of self-defence. Like, to protect myself from the pain of losing him, the pain of maybe losing everything—because, if Simon goes, what hope do any of us have? [...] But it isn't that—it isn't self-defence. I just don't love Simon enough. I don't love him the right way.” i remember thinking to myself, “oh, she’s aromantic.”  i was so sure. and maybe i was just seeing what i wanted to see, but no. i don’t think i was. because aro/ace agatha was so common in fics written pre-awtwb. other people could see it, too. and i thought it was the coolest thing ever, in this story all about subverting tropes, i thought it was... i dunno, a part of the point or something, y’kno? i don’t mind the ending we got as far as agatha becoming the new goatherd goes, i’ve always found it kinda bittersweet and poetic, but i don’t get why she kissed niamh. i don’t understand it at all.

What would have made you like it?

i don’t dislike it, but i think i would've enjoyed it more if it wasn’t canon, ‘cause the thing about it being canon is, now, whenever i’m writing a fanfic and i wanna make agatha aromantic or aroace, i get this itch in my brain almost like i’m doing something wrong. (one time i saw an actual argument in the comments of a fanfic calling the author lesbophobic for making agatha aroace in it.) (and on that note: i wanna be clear the issue here is, obviously, not with the fact that niamh is a woman, what the fuck?) i think i struggle a lot with enjoying brobelove as much as i could when it feels like the boot that came down out of nowhere to step on all my aromantic agatha wellbelove dreams. not to mention how much i hate the “every character needs a romantic interest at the end” trope.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

yeah, niamh and aggie both funny as fuck.

[send me a ship!]

[cattocavo]

Ok look i love lesbians BUT WE COULDVE HAD AROACE AGATHA WELLBELOVE. IT FITS HER CHARACTER SO WELL AND-😭😭

very glad she didn't end up with a guy tho

I still don’t have a great sense of the Simon Snow fandom’s general opinions on things. This is the one I’ve been most curious about.

I hope you’ll reblog so I can see a larger number of opinions

[uchan-draws]

A small doodle of the carry on crew because I’m in love with every single one of them

[nonbaznary]

sapphic bliss at Watford

finally it is here! my one and only brodylove/brobelove piece for the @carry-on-sapphic-week lol

the nannies were so fun to doodle lol also their hair!! imagine having a consistent artstyle (its pretty tho

[basilplants]

[themandilorian]

Rainbow Rowell writing Any Way the Wind Blows:

[the-pandora-jar]

Carry on Characters as some The Good Place moments I have saved in my Gallery

I know i have been doing alot of my carry on × the good place shitposts for a while now so why not more? Here u go

Simon

Baz

Penny

Shepard

The Mage

Lamb

Agatha

The Humdrum

[getoufication]

me every time baz said something:

[forgetmenoct]

hopes for wayward son is that agatha gets some more pets, plants, cute apartment near a bakery, live her best aro/ace life

[fagsex]

wellbelove(d)

[valeffelees]

📚 (This is just my favorite book emoji, you don't actually have to give me four fic ideas xD)

HI ACE, ok. so i had a conundrum trying to answer this ask.

the game is for a fic i haven't written but have daydreamed about, right, but i'm all caught up on the logistics of what counts as "written" bc the first thing i do when i get an idea for a fic is write up an outline for it into my notes, then bang out a couple hundred words of zero draft so i have something to come back to later.

but i'm gonna say "written" = a completed draft? mostly bc i really wanna tell you about my arospec Simon fic—which i have started, technically, but most of the fic is still unwritten daydream slop, so i think it counts.

i'm gonna hide this under a cut tho bc this is about to be such a long post, and i really do mean a LONG post. i am so sorry.

ok, so.

the title of the fic (almost all my ideas get titles right away) is "The Refraction and Dispersion of Light Through a Prism" and it starts Watford-era but doesn't stay that way for very long, the majority of the story takes place post-Watford.

but n e way, yeah. starts Watford sixth year with Simon and Agatha breaking up. LOL, they have a good break-up tho. there is a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of Simon-Agatha friendship in this fic bc i love Simon-Agatha friendship, it's good for my mental health. (i have the break-up scene written but i'm not gonna share it here since then i'd really be breaking the rules of the game) (but the gist of it is just Simon telling her he wants to go back to being friends and they're both super chill about it.)

and since the break-up goes so well, the two of them carry on as normal, being friends, and when winter comes Simon still goes to Agatha's place for Christmas, where Agatha ends up coming out to Simon as aroace, and as she's explaining what that means for her, Simon is sitting there like, "oh wait, oh wait, oh wait..." and he cuts her off like, "Aggie i think i might have something to tell you," and Agatha is like, "... no," and Simon's like, "... yeah," and Agatha is like, "NO," and Simon is like, "YEAH," and then she laughs, and he laughs, and they hug, and have a whole moment together, and that's where Watford-era ends.

canon is changed to: it is all the same, but when the Visiting happens, the truce, all of that, Simon and Agatha are obvs on good terms so he goes home with her like usual, never goes to Pitch manor, but he still ends up losing his magic and killing the Mage and getting wing-and-tail-ified, so then the future goes: Simon and Agatha are roommates, Penny is in America with Micah since they never break up in this AU (i'm sorry Shep), and the story picks up from Baz's POV, who hasn't seen Simon Snow since he defeated the Humdrum bc Simon still fucks off and doesn't finish school and shit, he goes to live with the Wellbeloves after it all (and stays in therapy bc living with a doctor'll do that to a guy) (but it was for the best he's doing great these days) and Baz didn't think he'd ever see Simon again, but if he did, he really really really did not think it would be at PRIDE.

Simon is the one who spots him. Baz is there with Niall and some uni friends and Simon comes up behind him and is like "omg???" and Baz is like "omg???" bc Simon is fucking decked in rainbows and he's gained weight and looks so good and happy and alive and, "Snow... you have a tail..." and Simon is like, "you whot? oh, yeah, the Normals can't see it tho, s' what that little bell on the end is for," and that breaks the tension, and they start talking in that awkward way only people who aren't friends but who've known each other for way too long and just found out that they're both queer can, and eventually Agatha shows up and is like, "Simon, there you are!" and she has an aroace flag around her shoulders which immediately has Baz doing like, fucking mental gymnastics, meanwhile Agatha is sitting there like, "oh my god Simon 30 000 people are here and you still managed to find Baz Pitch i am so tired of you (affectionate)"

and Agatha super does not want to hang out with Baz. like, at all. (LMFAO) so Simon gives him his number and is like, "no more war, yeah? we should try again" and then wraps himself into Agatha's cape with her and they disappear into the crowd while Baz stands there steaming from his fucking ears. Baz plays it cool for a couple days before reaching out to Simon, and they start hanging out and going for coffee and stuff, but there is like... oh man... there's a massive miscommunication happening here, y'kno?

and it comes to a head when Simon invites Baz back to his and Agatha's flat to watch a movie and they go to his room and there's an aromantic flag on his wall, above his bed, and Baz is like, "..." and then he remembers Simon going under the aroace flag with Agatha at pride, and is like "... ah."

meanwhile Simon is completely oblivious, he is digging around in his messy ass room like, "where the fuck is my laptop? i know it's here, i was watching Heartstopper like five hours ago."

and Baz says, "i think i should go," and Simon looks at him all confused and replies, "what, why? i'll find it, just give me a—" and Baz cuts him off, "Snow, i thought this was a date... i thought what we've been doing... going out... i thought—"

Simon: "oh."

Baz: "yeah."

Simon: "fuck."

and they stand there for a while, until Baz repeats that he thinks he should leave, and Simon starts shaking his head furiously and his face is flushed, he looks like he's going to cry, and he starts up with, "you don't have to, please, i mean we're fine, aren't we? we're still friends, we can still—let's just watch a movie, yeah? and we don't have to talk about it, we don't... we can just... i mean, we're..." and Simon covers his face and drops onto the edge of his mattress and whispers, "i'm sorry. i just wanted to watch a movie. i'm really sorry."

Baz doesn't get what Simon is apologising for, he hasn't done anything wrong, so he tells him as much, and this is kind of where the idea starts losing detail for me a bit, but they have a nice long conversation and work things out and end up staying friends, and watching their movie, and they keep spending time together and stuff, but Simon can tell that Baz is keeping his distance from him now in a way he wasn't before, and he thinks it shouldn't bother him, but it does.

he's bothered by how far away Baz sits from him on the sofa, or walks beside him, or stands next to him. he's bothered by the fact that Baz won't hold his hand now, or bump their shoulders together when he makes a joke, or hug him goodbye. he's bothered that Baz doesn't text him nonsense about his day all the time, or send him selfies, or use emojis anymore.

so, he does what he always does when he has a problem he doesn't know how to fix: he goes to his girls about it.

Agatha and Simon get Penny on facetime and prop her up on the coffee table so she can see them both and Simon tells them what happened and what changed and how he's feeling about it, and it's Agatha who suggests that Simon has a crush on Baz, and Simon is like, "top 10 stupidest ideas???" but Penny is like "no, no, Simon, it makes sense, if you liked how Baz was with you when he thought you were dating and don't like how he is now that he knows you're not..."

Simon is like, "but that doesn't make sense, i don't do... that," and Agatha is like, "maybe you do, with Baz. the definition of aromantic is little to none. maybe he's your little."

Simon: "no, i hate that. you're making it sound like he fixed me."

Agatha: "you know that's not what i'm saying, i just mean being aroace is a spectrum, Simon. you're allowed to like him and still be aroace."

Simon: "i... guess. i don't know. i mean, you're right, i just—i feel like i'm too old to be worrying about this shit, i just want..."

Penny: "what do you want?"

Simon: "i want him to stop being weird! i want him to like me and want to touch me and be around me again like he was before, and i want that to be enough. but i don't want it to have to be something else for it to be enough."

and yeah, at that point, the idea breaks down into nothing but a bunch of random colours and weird blobs in my brain, but the gist of the fic is that in the end, Simon and Baz end up in a QPR and maybe Simon's feelings are romantic or maybe they're alterous or maybe they're just platonic, hell, who knows. not me. not Simon, either, but he doesn't feel like he needs to figure it out bc he and Baz find a place in the middle where they're both happy, and that's kind of the whole point of the fic. an exploration into the complex shapes identities and relationships can take.

[rynliadon]

I love that Agatha Wellbelove never wanted to be a side character in Simon's story. She's the lone average person in this book*, and she kind of represents what anyone else would do in that situation: run like hell.

(*Not that she is average, but she's not extraordinary the way that Simon and Baz and Penny are. She's just a teenage girl who's sick of this Humdrum bullshit)

[transport-phenomena]

I just reread Carry On and I just want to say how much I love Agatha. Like, her whole arc focuses on breaking free from society’s, her family’s and her own internalized expectations for herself.

She had already resigned herself to being The Chosen One’s Girlfriend. But then she finally rejects that, and she hears about Lucy, who (as far as Agatha knows) managed to get out and live her best life away from it all. And then the whole thing with Ebb? She just wanted to be left alone, and she couldn’t even have that? That line about “honoring Ebb’s memory by fucking right off, the way she wanted to”?? Wow. And I just love that her experience with these two women helped her to finally break free and follow her dreams.

I love Agatha and she deserves the world ok?

[somesortofbandreference]

anyone want an agatha wellbelove playlist???

a playlist that no one asked for, but I made! this playlist was definitely a stretch for me because all I listen to is like, 80s new wave, but I quite like how it turned out. hopefully you will too!