#ok sorry im on mobile the read more broke

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

This is so ranty as a first post back and im so sorry---

Tw for bad language

(sorry im on mobile and it wont let me add a keep reading)

(spelling mistakes are because im shaking)

But im sick and stuffed up with some kind of cold

And im not at my best but goddammit im trying to be for my partner because shes worse off than me sickness wise and i have to take care of them while theyre stuck finishing their shift with a fever that could possibly get worse by the hour and no way to take over or help because im too sick to take their shift tomorrow and i want to help but i dont fully know how to take care of her properly with my head all fuzzy

And this fucking dick.

This fucking dick of her moms stupid bastard boyfriend starts yelling stuff over the phone while im fighting off a panic talking to her about what to do, if she can pick us up more medicine after her work tomorrow, if we have any Tylenol to try to bring her fever down if the liquid medicine isnt working and hes yelling shit that he KNOWS and has been told repeatedly makes me amd her severely uncomfortable and im trying to tune him out and then he opens her moms bedroom door(im downstairs scrambling to find the medicine and get my raingear back on because cali is swamped with storms)

And he opens it

Laughing his fucking ass off as he yells down the stairs that i was on speaking and he could hear everything and keeps just fucking laughing as he slams the door back shut

Motherfucker already made passive aggressive accusations at us earlier today about locking him out(the house isnt in the safest area for him to just leave the door fucking unlocked for hours at randoms times of day and night while he goes and fucks around or drinks or whatever the fuck hes doing when he leaves the house)

And now hes laughing when i called her mom desperate for help taking care of her while im also deteriorating.

And i get told he "cares" about us really, he wasnt mocking us really he cares he wants to call my partner( while shes currently IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORK SHIFT) and "make sure shes ok" and that he really DOES care even if it feels weird or uncomfortable when he says it.

....

As im being texted this they seem to forget in the silent living room i can fucking hear their talk come through the closed door and down the stairs

And hes loudly saying hes going to come down and talk to me. He should do that right hes going to go do it now.

I almost broke down from the stress of akl this bullshit right then.

I know im not supposed to hang out at her work(our work we work different shifts at the same establishment) unless its right before close

But i shoved my stuff on and hurried out of the house on the verge of either full panic or tears im too drained to even figure out which

And i ran all the way to work and started breaking down as i gave her more medicine

Ive had it im done

I texted her mother that i cannot believe when he says he cares after his attitude and behavior this past couple days and that im tires of him tryinf to pick fights with us and being a dick to us when were now actively avoiding any interactions with him and their relationship, we want nothing to do with it, we are both sick of it and now neither of us are well enough to deal with it or him any longer

He needs to not call my partner while shes at work

No i refuse to talk to him anymore after this.

I am done and i will not deal with his bullshit anymore.

He can not will not bother my baby boy when he gets off work tonight. She needs as much rest as she can get and the last thing he needs is extra stress piled onto him and make him worse.

We are done.

I am not.

Im not well enough to keep my temper down anymore and i will not stoop to his level and be rude back.

I may be cold and clipped when i dealed with him but that was me being restrained. That was me keeping my distance and being an adult in a unfavorable situation. I was cold and treated him like he is, a stranger that has messed up any chances i gave him. But i was never openly rude.

I am not going to be nice next time.

Im done. Im fucking done.

You want the bitch motherfucker? Youll get the fucking bitch.

Dont ever come near me or my baby again.

If he tries im cutting it at the bud, and im not afraid to burn this bridge

Everyone else in this house except her mother hates you more with every stupid action you decide to do.amd every stupid thing that comes out of your transphobic, idiotic mouth.

Your only ally is the woman you cheated on multiple times and fight with every fucking night

You have no one here you lazy drunken leech.

And when things burn down im going to watch the flames smiling.

I hate being a shitty person. You are the one that brought us to this point.

Theres no one to blame but yourself.

I refuse to talk or interact or even be in the same room as him again. Im done.

Burn in a ditch bitch.

.........

..,..ok ok rant over....time to go draw some homestuck and try to calm down and not cry

Vantas out i guess

[broth-y]

"Sorry isn't good enough, Gundham!"

He stumbled back as if the booming phrase had pushed him. He struggled to stop himself from falling over, grasping desperately at the nearest object. Stabling himself, the words echoed through his ears, only challenged by the thud of his heartbeat pounding wildly in his chest. 

Sorry… wasn't good enough. He had messed up, really messed up.

He dug through his mind, trying to find a response. There wasn't anything left for him to say. Gundham knew he would only worsen the situation with any rebuttal. It didn't matter; if he were to try and say anything, he knew the words would stick on the inside of his throat. His justifications glued down like a rat in a trap. 

The guilt set in. Gundham tightened his hands into white-knuckled fists, sharp nails settling into the skin beneath. Maybe he shouldn't have put himself out there in the first place. Vulnerability is a side effect of devotion, after all.  

He felt better alone. Solitude left no possibility to disappoint anyone other than himself. That way he wouldn't have to feel the crushing disapproval that rattled through his bones, the hurricane roaring through his stomach, the resentment towards himself that destroyed him every time. Gundham wouldn't have to feel this.

Weak legs carried him to the exit of the room. steadying himself, he stammered. "I.. will excuse myself."

[reogou]

peonies | bokuto.k

pairing: bokuto kotaro x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warning/s: 2-3 swearing (?)

au: florist!au, implied soulmate!au

word count: 2.5k

a/n: this was supposed to be a drabble about a bokuaka fanart i saw but then i don't freaking know why this became a 2.5k fic... a big thanks to @kuraomi for helping me edit this! also, i can't put a read more on mobile so im very sorry-

The sweet fragrance of the flowers greeted Bokuto as he stepped inside the flower shop, the door closing behind him. The small bell above chimes, making the dark-haired boy from the counter turn around to see Bokuto standing in front of the door, looking so devastated. His brows were burrowing, a pout evident on his plump lips while his eyes look so so sad. The two sighed in exasperation, but with different reasons. Akaashi already knows what's coming to him.

"AKAASHI!" And there it was, Bokuto's loud whining, looking like he's about to cry. The back door opens abruptly, Konoha's head popping out of the door, a scowl forming on his face.

"What the hell? Stop yelling Bokuto! You're disturbing the other people!" He hissed, glaring at the owl head before closing the door, resuming to his previous work. Akaashi could only groan in silence when Bokuto came running towards him, already tearing up.

"Akaashi! She broke up with me!" And he wailed. "She said I was too childish and too weird for her liking! That she couldn't handle me anymore!" 

As much as Akaashi dislikes Bokuto being too loud, he just let him be. After all, he knows the pain he is going through right now. The feeling of being rejected is just too painful, especially for Bokuto since he knows that he is sometimes too much to handle, and he won't even deny it. 

"How can she say that to me, Akaashi?! I t-thought we were gonna be together forever, and that we'll have a grand wedding. We even planned out how many children we want! We even agreed on six children!" 

"There's no such thing as forever, Bokuto-kun." Konoha spoke from behind them, who just got out from the back door while carrying a bucket of freshly cut Lilies. He placed the bucket down together with the other flowers in the shop and looked at Bokuto, hands on his hips. "I told you two weeks ago that she isn't the one for you. She's been cheating behind your back and stealing money from you. What do you expect?" 

Bokuto even cried more when he remembered how he found out that his ex is a gold digger, stealing money from him by using his card that he gave her just to deposit it and buy things for her boyfriend. She even stole his favourite collections of golden pins that he collected for 10 years now. 

"My precious collections!" Bokuto shouted before crying even more on Akaashi's shoulders. Akaashi could only pat his senior's back comfortingly and looking at Konoha, who only sighed and nodded his head.

"Fine, fine. I'll take care of the counter." Even though Akaashi could hear the distaste from Konoha's tone, he knows that he also wants to make Bokuto feel better. Smiling at his co-worker, Akaashi pulled Bokuto away from him.

"Bokuto-san, let's go to the back door first, okay? You should drink water to keep you hydrated or else you'll pass out." Bokuto could only nod his head and let Akaashi guide him towards the back door, leaving Konoha alone in the counter. 

Man, what a pain. He should've dumped her the first time he caught her stealing. His heart is too soft, that's why he's always targeted by people who have ill intentions, Konoha thought, ruffling his hair and letting out another sigh. When the bell chimes, alerting that someone came in, Konoha put on a professional face and greeted the new costumer warmly.

"Good day, welcome to Fukurodani Flower Shop! How may I help you?"

You looked at the man in front of you, a small smile appearing on his face. Although the smile was obviously a fake one, you let it slide since maybe he was having a bad day. Maybe he encountered an annoying costumer?, you thought. Nevertheless, you still repaid his warm greeting with a smile, bowing your head a little as a sign of respect. 

"Hello." You greeted back courtly, letting your eyes roam at the interior of the flower shop. The atmosphere feels like home, even though it was just your first time visiting this place. After all, you just moved with your family 3 days ago. But even so, you can't help but feel welcomed here. There's just something about this shop that made your heart skip a bit. Is it weird that you felt like there was a link being tugged inside you? 

"Is there anything you need help with?" The guy at the counter spoke, his hands drumming on the marbled counter. He ran his slim fingers through his dirty-blonde hair, the same color as his eyes. He has a average build. You can tell that he is the type of guy who often goes to the gym to maintain his built. 

"Ah, would you mind if I look around first? Is it okay?" You asked. 

"Sure. You're free to take a look around the shop. Just call me if you need anything or if you already decided on what to buy." 

With that, you roamed around the shop at your heart's content, trying to find the right flower for yourself. 

Now you know why Fukurodani Flower Shop is so popular in your area. They deserve it. Just by looking at the freshly cut flowers and plants around you is enough evidence to prove their popularity not only around you area but also all over your city. 

A glass door caught your eye, the beautiful colors of red, yellow, green and many more shining brightly under the sunlight of what seems to be a greenhouse. Without taking your eyes off of the beautiful scenery in front of you, you called the guy at the counter, asking for permission.

"Hey." You spoke. Konoha lift his head up from trimming the flowers for a bouquet and looked at you, eyes glued to the glass door in front of you. He chuckled. He already knew what you want. After all, people always asked if they could go inside the green house just to see the magnificent view of the beautiful colors of the flowers and plants. They never really allowed anyone in, in fear of ruining the budding flowers inside. But it looks like he's making an exemption today.

"You wanna look inside?" His voice was filled with amusement, attention now solely focused on your face as you gaze inside the green house. When you heard his words, your head turned around to look at him, almost immediately.

"Yes." You answered, voice firm. Konoha only chuckled and shake his head a little before nodding at you.

"Ok. You can come in," He said. ",but don't ruin anything, alright? You'll have to pay if you do." 

"Of course."

And with that, you let yourself in inside the green house.

-

Meanwhile, at the back door, Akaashi managed to somehow calm Bokuto down. The dual-color-haired guy is now sitting on the chair in front of him while his other co-workers are doing their own thing at the other side of the wide room. Komi walked towards them, while Washio was just sitting at the table across them, cutting the wrappers that would be used for the bouquets. 

"What is it this time, Bokuto-kun?" Komi looked at Bokuto, who was still sulking in front of them. He looked at Akaashi instead, waiting for an answer from the black-haired junior. "What happened to him, Akaashi?"

Akaashi looked at Bokuto for a second and then gazed back at Komi. "Bokuto was dumped by his girlfriend." 

Bokuto expects Komi to laugh at him but to his surprise, the brown-haired guy only shrugged his shoulders off, not really bothered by it. 

"What?" He asked, noticing the way Bokuto was eyeing him. "You expect me to cry with you too?" Bokuto shook his head, not taking his eyes off of his friend and co-worker. 

"No… i thought you'd laugh at me or something…" He whispered, but it didn't go unnoticed by Komi. 

"What? Why would I laugh? Am i a jerk to you?" Komi asked in disbelief, clearly shocked at the owl head's accusation of him. 

"Well, you do laugh at him whenever his partners break up with him. So I can't blame Bokuto for assuming that about you." Washio interjected, although his eyes never left the wrapper that he's currently cutting. 

"I-," Komi was about to defend himself, that he's not that kind of guy. But then he realized that what Washio said was true. There's no point in defending it. " Well, I suppose I do." Komi laughed, his right hand rubbing the back of his head while the other was placed on his hip.

"But this time is different. That girl was the worst out of the worst of your exes. I can't even understand why you fell for her. That girl stinks of trouble." Komi said.

"I guess you're true." Washio agreed.

"The problem with you Bokuto-san is that you fall too easily." Akaashi said, eyes now on Bokuto's sulking figure. "And because of that, people take advantage of you. You have a soft heart. Too soft." He added, emphasizing the last words.

As Akaashi scolded him, Bokuto only looked down at his hands and played with it, not saying a single word. 

It is true. He was fooled easily. Too easy that even he himself is scared of it. Just a slight show of sweetness and care towards him is already enough to make him fall for someone. He knows that. He knows. But he isn't that dumb or stupid. He knows when and who are just faking their love or care for him. It's just that… he loved them. What could he do? He just wanna love.

But they betrayed him.

But even if some people betrayed him and made him a fool, that doesn't stop him from loving and searching for the right one. After all, try and try until you succeed, right?

"You know what, I think it's best if you clear your mind for a bit and cool off, Bokuto-san. Forget about what happened this morning." Akaashi said, placing his left hand on Bokuto's shoulder. He then grab a wrapper from Washio's stack and handed it to Bokuto, a small smile adorning his face. "How about you pick up flowers from the greenhouse make a bouquet for yourself, Bokuto-san?"

Bokuto could only nod, taking the wrapper in his hands and standing up, grabbing his apron and putting it on before opening the door that's connected to the greenhouse. As he reach for the knob and turn it around, the fresh smell of flowers and plants greeted him, calming his mind somehow. Maybe this wasn't a bad idea at all. 

Bokuto started picking up fresh flowers from the aisles of peonies, although he doesn't know why. His arms moves on it's own, plucking stems from stems and arranging it. Peonies have so many meaning, from romance to good fortune, and happy marriage. But sometimes, peonies can also mean bashfulness. 

Speaking of romance, Bokuto remembers how his mother always tells him that there's someone out there who's always waiting for him and is destined to be with him forever. She said that when he finally meets that someone, a strong force will push him towards that person. Like a rope tugged inside his heart. She also said that the feeling would overwhelm him, that it's too intense to the point that he doesn't know what to do. Up until now, he doesn't really know what she meant. 

So he keeps on searching, and searching. But he always ends up being the betrayed. 

Holding the bouquet of peonies in his hands, Bokuto walked towards the big table in the middle of the green house, the wrapper that was given by Akaashi placed in his other hand. When he reached the wooden table, he started working and arranging the flowers before wrapping it with the wrapper. As he was about to finish his masterpiece, he froze on his spot and realized something.

He forgot about the ribbon.

"Argh!" Bokuto groaned, his lips turning into a pout as he frowns at his own stupidity. 

But was it his fault though? Technically, Akaashi was the one who handed him the wrapper without the ribbon. So it was Akaashi's fault… but that doesn't sound right. Because he was the one who forgot to ask Akaashi about the ribbon. But isn't it Akaashi's role to give him the ribbon? Since he was the one gave him the wrapper? But then he was the one who's gonna use it? Shouldn't it be his responsibility?

Still stuck with his own thoughts, Bokuto picks up the loose bouquet on the table and started walking towards the exit. He was too deep in thought that he didn't see the brick lying on the ground, making him almost trip. Luckily, no damages were done. He was able to balance himself and catch the bouquet before it fell on the ground. 

Although he didn't expect the scenery he'll see in front of him.

There you are, squatting in front of the pile of peonies, inhaling the scent that the flowers gives off. Bokuto doesn't know, but he suddenly felt like he was out of breath. It felt like something was restraining him from taking oxygen inside his lungs, his head fogging for no reason. 

He feels like… he was drowning. 

The feeling is too intense, too strong for his own liking. 

God, what is happening to me?

A sudden tug at his heart made him jolt, sudden realization downing on him.

Is this… it? Has he already found the 'someone' his mom always talked about? Heat rose on his cheeks and neck, making his face red to the point where the redness reached his ears. All of a sudden, he felt shy.

Has he always been like this? Too scared to even say a word to someone he just met? Someone as beautiful and majestic as you? 

As if feeling his gaze boring inside your soul, you lift up your head, eyes meeting his golden ones. It was as if his feelings and emotions were passed unto you, because you suddenly jolted, standing up as your face slowly started heating up, making you flustered.

As if on instinct, Bokuto handed the bouquet of loose peonies to you out of surpise. He even bowed down, his face so flushed you could almost see steams coming out of his ears. 

"C-congratulations! You're our 54th costumer today! Please accept this flowers as a prize!" He blurted out suddenly. Too sudden that you were taken aback at his actions, making you step backward. 

"I- uhm… I- wha-" Your words came out as gibberish. You can't even understand what you're trying to say, for you were too shocked and surprised at what's happening.

Wait, what the fuck is really happening?

You have no absolute clue about what was happening. All you know was that your heart is beating to damn fast that you couldn't almost breath properly, the tug on your heart as you look at the man in front of you, and of course.

The smell of peonies in your hands. 

[silversoulstardust]

bokukuroakatsukki/ third gym musician au!

part 1 of ??

ok i was bored waiting in line at the bank so i drafted this. im not a musician and have little to none basic musical knowledge but hear me out

 • pianist tsukki, cellist bokuto, violinist kuroo, conductor akaashi

 • tsukki and akaashi are proper orchestral musicians, you know, the whole black suit and bow tie kinda stuff, play at concert halls

 • whereas kuroo and bokuto are aspiring rockstars who use classical music instruments for rock rendition of classical music and modern rock music using classical instruments

 • imagine: vivaldi winter but rock version

 • bokuroo play anywhere they can! outside a subway station, in the middle of touristy street, at a park, a club where indie band usually perform

 • they even have their own youtube channel! mostly its them messing around during practice and other times its amateur recordings of their performance on the street. they only got like, 100 views and 7 likes, but hey, they just want to spread the love for classical instruments, ya know? it's fun!

 •  also before y'all start going up my arse on how hinata and lev are a part of third gym too: lev is a drummer and hinata is an electric guitarist. they cameo in bokuroo videos sometimes and gawdddd their practice videos are so chaotic its entertaining

 • extra hc you didn't ask for but imma give anyway: kuroo's best friend kenma is dating hinata bc ya know how the guitarist always get the best girl/guy? yup

 • also: you know that phantom of the opera rock rendition in The Umbrella Academy season 1? they watched it once on their usual Neflix Fridays and bokuto was like "my dUDES wE ARe PlaYING THIS!"

 • best believe they nailed it and have it uploaded on youtube

 • it got like 570 hits and 19 likes but who cares! music is fun!!!

 • kuroo is the kind of person who can play by ear (hear it once and can immitate it) whereas bokuto is a fast learner and can catch up with kuroo easily

 • anyways. tsukki and akaashi. tsukki is a struggling child genius who is having a hard time to accept the fact that as he grows older, he's not as special as he was lead to believe. you know. the curse of being a gifted child. he's a very talented pianist, no doubt, but he used to being laid back on this whole practice thing and now younger people are catching up with him and it is bothering him

 • so tsukki started to let go and let himself fall off the bandwagon

 • akaashi is the new conductor for the orchestra and he is a talented musician too

 • akaashi can play violin, piano, cello, thrombone and flute

 • he is a nervous bean who is always worried he can't live up to the expectation, being a conductor at such a young age

 • he too, have forgotten about the joy of music because he's stressed all the time

 • tsukki and akaashi's talent were discovered around the same time when they were like, 10, 11?? so they literally grew up together

 • young akaashi was first chair violinist when he first started out but he has always been interested to conduct

 •  because of their close age gap, whenever they travel around for performances they always share the same room

 • young tsukki is the type who can't sleep well in a new environment and it always affect his performance during opening day

 • even though he tries to act tough like he have it under control, akaashi can see right through him

 • so after 2 or 3 bad opening performances akaashi suggested to tsukki they should sleep in the same bed bc akaashi's mom always did it whenever he had difficulty falling asleep. obviously tsukki protested at first, but it's not easy saying no to akaashi

 • young akaashi bows to tsukki "sorry for the intrusion" before gracefully lifting the heavy duvet and sneaking under it

 • it got awkward at first. they can feel each other's shoulder touching and warmth radiating from each other's body. between the two of them, akaashi eventually fell asleep first while fiddling with his fingers. his head shifted to lean on tsukki's shoulder in his sleep bc well you tend to gravitate towards warm things in your sleep

 • cue little tsukki's first gay panic

 • but damn it akaashi's hair smells so nice and tsukki soon drifted asleep too. the first good sleep during his entire travel and he owes it to akaashi

 • so they did it. they slept in the same bed together. and it continues on for the next 10 years, well into adulthood

 • platonically, mind you. nothing sexual.

 • tsukki loves waking up to akaashi all wrapped up around his midsection, smelling and playing with his soft hair

 • and akaashi loves watching tsukki when he's asleep bc he looks so innocent when he doesn't spout salty shit (to other people not to akaashi)

 • anyway, the theme is: mutual pining

 • whereas bokuto and kuroo are more like bros 4 lyfe who do stupid shit together like watch porn and jack each other off every now and then

 • but no homo, bro

 • they met when they were 18 at college and rented a small apartment together and bc they wanted a home studio, they turned the master bedroom into one and ended up sharing a small bedroom together

 • so waking up to morning woods is a pretty normal occasion

 • bokuto's "bro im so horny right now" and kuroo's "want me to blow you?" is also a normal occurance

 • neither can get a long term girlfriend bc they are broke musicians who always chase after the next new music to try. so they resort to each other when they needed a quick fix

 • anyway, so they're some broke ass musicians/college students trying to make a living in metropolitan tokyo playing gigs everywhere

 • and on a fateful cold autumn evening, the four of them crossed path.

Tbc I guess.

Probably add on your ideas too?? lol

I'm posting this from mobile so I'll add the read more later k sorry y'all have to see the whole thing for now

[kpopismylifenow]

So with all the recent woojin posts I have a lot of feelings and idk where else to put my thoughts so im putting them here (but idk how to use read more on mobile so sorry about that😅)

Ok so recently Woojin has posted vids of him doing music again and I know I should be happy for him and I see everyone supporting him but I just feel so bittersweet?? Like I know I'm supposed to support him and be happy for him but I also just can't? Like I'm also angry at him? And I know I shouldn't be but I guess it's because it just doesn't make sense to me? Like he went through so much to debut, to be apart of the team, he even made the nine or none saying, and then he just leaves the group only to come back to music? To do it again? I can't be the only one that thinks that's not right? Like how can you go years being with a group, training together, love doing music with them, go through hardships with them, be so proud being with them, only to just leave and come back solo? And then everyone just seems to support that like the past didn't even happen like it doesn't even matter?? Again I shouldn't look at it that way but I do because how can you go through so much, finally get to a point where your career is stabilizing just to leave? And if it was enough to leave Stray Kids, his team, his family, wouldn't it be enough to leave the industry as a whole? It's just... seeing what he had to do to get there, how much the others looked up to him, how they were so close, and then him just randomly up and leaving? Just to come back to the spotlight? To still do music? After everything? I'm sorry but I don't believe that i dont condone that and I can't believe Woojin himself would do that. It's obvious he still has a passion for music, so why would he leave his group? I shouldn't feel this way and it was" personal reasons" but again if it's personal enough to leave family shouldn't it be personal enough to leave the entire industry? It doesn't make sense and Stays seem to just be going with it and supporting him no matter what which is good in a way but also how can you be so accepting knowing all these things? And if it really was his own decision how can you be ok knowing he broke his promise? He promised nine or none and then he just leaves to be solo? How can you support someone like that? Someone who made promises to find their path together, only to leave them behind? And again this only applies if it really was his own decision which again begs the question why would he go through all that just to leave a be solo? And yes things change, and maybe his passion changed, and if that's the case I wish him best but I'm sorry I can't support that and I honestly have no idea how others can support him so easily? He made a promise and he broke it and I shouldn't feel this way but I do because I don't know what happened and unless we find out idk if that's ever going to change because how can I support someone when 1) I don't know what actually happened and if he could've done something bad to be kicked out or 2)someone who left his team behind

[veinsinneon]

Hi your story confused me a bit.what happened with logan?they were acting like couple but now someone is in the picture 😐and he said he loved her to his mom i dont get they love each other actually but they dont want to be couple?i am really confused about it.what she was talking to that guy about she must tell about astrid to logan?

it's gonna be long so sorry (im on mobile and can't put it under read more)

ok well so ade and logan were together, broke up logan left home to new orleans and in that time ade found out she's preggo. 4 years pass by and logan comes back to chicago. during those 4 years ade met alec and they got engaged pretty quickly.

when logan and ade finally met he didn't know about astrid, ade wanted to tell him but she was constantly heavily manipulated by alec. so, logan found out by accident and from that time he and ade were co parenting, tried to give back astrid those 4 years without knowing logan.

now logan did mention to ade's grandma that he still loves ade, in that way how you still care about someone very much even after not being together, not talking. you still want the best for them. now this kind of love doesn't have to be a romantic one, kinda what greeks understood as agape (or latin caritas) instead of eros - more sexually driven love. but it can still morph into romantic love.

now ade cared about logan as well, she really wanted him to be healthy and addiction free. but she felt hurt, deep inside. and her relationship with alec was not the healthiest, he is very narcissistic, manipulative and abusive. he didn't care about ade as a person but only as someone he can break and build back up and it runs in a cycle. relationship like that is extremely hard to leave and after it constantly being horrible ade and logan grew closer together again, thanks to astrid. everyone around them knew that they have feelings for each other but both of them tried to find excuses and also do what was right - essentially ade not cheating on alec or breaking the engagement. but ofc she did finally snap out of it and realized that it does not have to be this compliated and she does really love logan

[sunny-jac-blog]

Take It Out On Me (Modern Barlyle)

hey guys! ok so this was originally inspired by a song i love (Take it Out On Me - Florida Georgia Line) but i kinda changed some things around a bit ?? idk have some barlyle ft. nervous kicked puppy phil

also pls don't hate me i love carlwheeler a whole lot but the only way it would make sense and to have them break up pls forgive me (also i am so sorry for not having cuts im only on tumblr mobile love yall sorry for long posts ack)

Word Count: 1.5k

__________________________________

“What’d she do this time?”

Phillip shrugged as he pushed past Phineas, who had been holding his apartment door open. He had been getting a lot of visits from Phillip recently, to talk about Anne, and something she did or said or made him feel. Mostly, they had been good, but recently things had been tense, and Phillip hadn't come to Phineas's apartment in two weeks.

When he saw the tear streaks on Phillip's cheeks, he knew that there was no getting better.

“She-... She broke up with me, Phin. Last week. I tried convincing her we could work through it, but--” He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “She… she said that she would rather end things and go back to being friends. Which I'm fine with, don't get me wrong, I don't care, as long as she's still in my life, but--”

“--You still have feelings for her,” Phineas finished, and sighed. “I'm sorry to hear what happened, Phillip… Why so suddenly?” He glanced over and bit his lip as he walked to the couch, gesturing for Phillip to sit next to him with a sigh. He moved the remote away as the younger man crossed the room, sitting with his arms crossed.

“She told me that she had other things that she needed to focus on first, and she needed to focus on herself more right now. And- And I get that, and I agree, because she's been kinda distant lately, so I'm completely fine with this. It's just… It’s the fact that I can't get over her. I can't get my mind off of her, no matter how hard I try, and I know I shouldn't be upset that we broke up, but… I-I can't help it.” Phillip sighed, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head. He looked up at the ceiling and crossed his legs.

Phineas gulped. He thought for a moment, and shrugged. “Well, Phillip, I… I wish I could say it gets easier, but breakups can be kind of hard…” He sat up, looking at him with a sympathetic smile. “What you need is a distraction. Get some of your friends, go- go on a roadtrip or something, maybe hit a few strip clubs, hook up with someone new. It doesn't have to be a relationship--”

“You know I'm not that kind of man, Phineas,” Phillip sighed. He stood, shaking his head. “This was a mistake, I should go, I'm sorry.”

“Wait, Phillip,” Phineas sighed and stood, tugging his wrist gently. As he looked down at Phillip's wide eyes, he couldn't help but gulp. Phineas found himself taking a slow step forward, sliding his hand down his arm. He chose his next words carefully. He let out a soft breath, and clasped Phillip's hand.

“Let me be your distraction.”

There was a moment of silence. Five seconds. Phillip seemed to be unresponsive, thinking something over. Phineas started to pull his hand away. Phillip gripped it tighter, took his free hand and grabbed Phineas's red t-shirt, and roughly tugged him down into a burning kiss.

Instantly, Phineas's was pulling Phillip closer, one hand on his hip while the other threaded through Phillip's hair. He pulled back from the kiss long enough to look into his eyes, and leaned down, gently kissing Phillip's jaw.

Phillip let out a soft groan, his hands resting on Phineas's chest. “Phineas, what-- What are we doing?” He asked breathlessly, and quickly pulled back, looking up at Phin with a nervous gaze. “...I- I can't do this, not now, I'm sorry,” He whispered, looking at him for a few moments more, before hurrying to the door, quietly closing it behind him.

_______________________________________

The next time Phillip saw Phineas, it was a week later. He hadn't left his apartment since going to Phineas's, and after that kiss, he was terrified. Terrified that Phineas would be pissed at him, terrified that he would get hurt again so soon.

And, most importantly, he was terrified of how the kiss had made him feel. For that brief moment, the kiss made him feel as if he was on top of the world, all thoughts of Anne vanished from view. Truth be told, he couldn't stop thinking about it, about him. Phineas was on his mind when he woke, and was the last thought Phillip had when he drifted off to sleep.

He had been writing non-stop since the kiss, and now had five drafts for five different “stories” that would never be seen by the public. That morning, around four a.m., he opened a new document on Google docs, shaking as he typed.

‘His lips were a blazing fire, leaving me burned in their tracks. He had caused me so many feelings that I knew I couldn't deny, and while intoxicated under his kiss, I was powerless. Even now as I lie awake, my mind goes back to the one encounter we shared, and I feel all over again. I love him.’

He stared at the words on the screen. Slowly, he deleted the last three words of the paragraph, shut his laptop, placed it off to the side, and went to bed.

_______________________________________

When they finally saw each other again, it was a chance encounter. Phillip had been at a coffee shop alone, staring at his laptop as he attempted to read through some critic's views about his latest published work. Since quitting the play scene and joining Phineas's lesser known entertainment company, Phillip hadn't been doing much writing, but that had all changed recently. He scoffed as he read a particularly harsh line, glancing up as the door opened.

When he saw Phineas walk in, he froze. Phin glanced around, spotting him and hesitating before walking over. He sat in the seat in front of Phillip, gulping. ”Phillip, we need to talk.”

One. Two. Three.

When phillip opened his eyes again and saw Phineas there still, he nodded and rubbed his forehead. There was no way he could run away now- he had to figure out this mess.

“Can we talk somewhere private?” Phillip asked with a sigh, standing. “My apartment is a few blocks away. Let's go.”

The walk there was silent. Phillip refused to speak, and Phineas didn't know what to even begin to say. Once at the building, Phillip walked inside, gesturing for Phineas to follow. He walked to the elevator quickly, before going to the eighth floor.

His apartment was neat. Stylized. It was decorated in shades of gold, red, black and white, and looked extremely classy. Phineas didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't that.

And he surely didn't expect Phillip to push him against the door, pull him down, and kiss him.

He had no complaints about either realization.

As he kissed back, Phineas wrapped his arms around Phillip's waist, pulling him closer. Phillip ran his hands through Phineas's hair, down his sides, up his arms- he wouldn't stop touching him, as if he were making sure that he was even real.

Phineas slowly pulled back from the kiss and took Phillip's fidgety hands, looking down at him. “Is- Is everything alright?” He asked softly.

“I couldn't stop thinking about you. I shouldn't have left, Phin, I--... I'm sorry,” Phillip murmured as he looked up at him. He looked almost vulnerable. Like he was afraid that Phineas would laugh in his face and leave.

“Phillip,” Phineas started, gently cupping his cheek. “you don't have to apologize. I understand.”

“I know, it’s just- I don't know, you make me nervous.” Phillip mumbled. He slowly walked to the couch and sat down, and Phineas followed. Phillip could've sworn to see a smirk on his face, and he gently whacked his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Don't laugh at me, Phin.”

“What- I'm not laughing! I'm not laughing,” He smiled at Phillip, rubbing his shoulder. “Don't hit me.”

“I can hit you if I want to hit you!”

“Phillip. You're the size of a kitten.”

“I hate you.”

“They why did you kiss me, hm?”

Phillip started to respond, but he groaned and rubbed his forehead, a slight grin on his face. “Will you shut up? I kissed you because-... Because, I, uh… I like you, I think.”

“Well, it's about damn time,” Phineas murmured, grinning as he pulled Phillip closer. At this point, Phillip wa as almost on top of him. Phillip cupped his cheek and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, before pulling back with a wide grin.

Phineas raised a brow. He smiled up at him, resting his hands on Phillip's waist. “What's that grin for, hm? Are you planning something?”

“...Does your offer still stand?”

“My- My offer?”

Phillip looked up at him and smirked softly. He leaned in closer, their lips barely touching, his fingers playing with the hem of Phineas's shirt as he whispered, “Will you be my distraction, Phin?”

Phineas only chuckled and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, deciding that maybe he could get used to this.

[kawaiianimeredhead]

Oh right I wanted to rant. Im still on my phone so there might be typos but oh well

Edit: this got way longer and rambly than I expected oops. I hope this read more works, i never actually checked yesterday when I used it to see if it still worked on mobile so if it doesnt oops and sorry

Anyways. In september a new company took over our contract and thats a whole rant on its own. The previous lead (my dad but not important) left before the new company came and he left Sam in charge. Sam has been there for like four or five years and he's a pretty good guy. When the new cobtract started he was very quickly overwhelmed with the bs and also with the paper abd computer stuff he had to do so he stepped down. Hes still there and actually was still in charge for a bit after he stepped down because we didnt have a new lead.

And now we do have a new lead. This was apparently a Process from what ive heard. Nobody really wanted the job and im not sure how the Boss from the company even went about hiring but i heard that a couple people he considered weren't interested and then I was told that someone was hired or was going to be hired and quick before she even started. I heard these from two differenr people because one told me she qas being walked around and woukd start soon and another said she wasnt coming a day or so later. Someone was hired though and the first night he was there so was the Boss showing him around kinda. I spoke with him a bit and he seemed nice. Def better than the Boss who I cant stand beinf around for long hes got weird and annoying vibes around him.

None of this is actually particularly relevant or necessary for this rant but it came out anyways.

So this new lead has tried all thr different shifts/jobs out and and has been with us for like a month or so now maybe? The first schedule he was properly scheduled on was such a SHIT week/schedule because I went from working 5-4 days a week to 3 and instead of doing bathrooms which is 3 hours or 4 depending on if I'm also doing trash to working 2 hours one day, 2 or 3 the next, and 3 or 4 the last. And it sucks. Then, the first schedule to come out that he made (with the help of the Boss) had ALL of us on less days and hours and HE now working every day but one and working both in the morning AND at night. Now I'm not convinced this was soley his decision because I know he made this schedule with the Boss and i have a suspicion that the Boss encouraged him or persuaded him or some other kind of bull shit to do the schedule like this. And then the week after was the same schedule copied again and this week coming up is the same minus a few small changes.

Now all this is annoying and bull shit on its own but not even the main fuel to this rambling rant. With this schedule, hes scheduled to clean the bathrooms and trash every day except Sunday, which is when I am scheduled on them. Last week was the first week of this and besides the day I'm specificed to do bathrooms im not given a specific job. Imbonly told to do "extras" so ive asked Sam and hes told me to do offices one day and some windows the other. I come in Saturday ready to do the windows which ive been dying to do because they look awful and they used to be my Thing so I get really annoyed about them often but then I notice the trash hadnt been done. So I start doing that thinking maybe that was what I was supposed to be doing. Then while doing this I notice the main breakroom doesnt look particularly clean, breakrooms are a part of the bathroom persons job. This was annoying but because it wasnt Bad I left it. I then go to the next break room which is smaller and always messier because more people stay in it for longer, this one also looked dirtier than it should be. In addition, the bathroom's trash hadnt beeb taken out which is a part of the bathroom job. Bathroom trash is separate from trash trash as far as jobs go, theyre usually done together but if someone is doinf "extras" and someone else bathrooms, bathrooms normally gets bathroom trash abd extras the rest. Something felt really off about the bathroom as well and combined with the breakdowns I had a suspicion that bathrooms hadnt been done. So I decided to check the costumer bathrooms for their trash and their cleanliness. When I got there they absolutely had not been done. Which ! I hadn't planned for. I was taking my time on trash and now I had to do bathroom s.

Nobody had been called or texted about the lead not being at work. And he absolutely has our numbers. We used to sign in on a time sheet and that would have helped us noticed but we recently got a finger print time clock which, as far as I know, we cant check other peoples hours on. So we had no fucking clue he just hadnt been in the previous night.

Then this week comes along. Friday talking with Sam he mentioned something along the lines of not checking the bathrooms. Mentioning that its not really our fault if we dont abd they havent been done because since were not scheduled for them, we have no reason to assume they wouldnt be done. So I hadnt looked in the bathrooms but I did notice the break room looked a bit messy and which had me a bit concerned about a repeat of the previous week. But I didnt wanna do them and I knew Sam didnt either so I left it be but texted nick to ask if hed seen the lead the previous night. Nick confirmed hed been in and was seen cleaning the bathrooms. Yesterday, I briefly looked into the main break room and it looked not great, and then later I went to the bathroom in the smaller breakroom's bathroom (they have really nice soap they buy themselves thats not really importantto this tho) and noticed that one looked AWFUL. It absolutly hadnt been swept and I felt bad but it wasnt what I was scheduled for so I just kinda left it... Their bathroom also had 1ply toilet paper in it, which is what we had when the company first took over it its AWFUL everyone complained so we switched but the unused rolls are still in our closet. Nobody told our new lead this so he had put some of this in the bathrooms. Then later on in the morning, I noticed several trash cans had stuff in it. Not trash but like residue from trash? Like sticky spots of soda oe coffee, some gum, things like that. Basically things that pointed to him only dumping out the trash and not changing the bag. The bags dont always get changed everyday, thats not really an issue, but if theres something still kinda in them they normally are changed because thats gross and why would it just be left like that... I also noticed that up front by the entrance door none of the trash had been got. The busiest area for trash (from customers) and it was still ! There! And I had actually heard Friday or last Friday that this wasnt the first time. Again I left it because I had other things to do.

Now this morning. I worked bathrooms and trash. Trash went ok, I changed a lot of the bags becsuse I prefer to do it regardless and it was just normal overall. Then bathrooms. The bathroom cart is a mess. Which started my mood. The top is all unorganized and theres dirty water in the mop bucket. When I went go get new water, I had set the mop off to the side assuming it had already veen run out and dried because it had been in the part of the bucket where you ring it out and it had been there since yesterday morning. I finished filling the bucket and then look over and notice the puddle forming under the mop because my assumption had been wrong and worse, it smelled like pee. ! Carring on The first two bathrooms were ok, not great but fine. Then I got to the main breakroom and noticed itd clearly been cleaned, Sam worked the day shift Saturday so I assume he swept and mopped. I also swept and mopped. Then, the small break room. Sam didnt clean this one. Which is fair on his part because I think throughout the whole day at least one or more people are sitting in it with no time for someone to clean. So I start and its just the whole thing, even the bathroom floor, was so bad. Aside from the floor the bathroom part was ok, but the floor really didnt seem to have been swept. And the main floor absolutely hadnt been swept. This was obvious from the start but it kept making me madder and madder as I swept and saw how much trash was on the floor. It absolutely put me behind because I wanted to get as much as I could. The cutomer bathrooms also looked pretty bad which is had to tell who thats on, but wheb I got to them it was apparent somethibg else I hadnt fully thought of as a problem until then. Behind all the toilets, like on then but behidb the seat part, there was so much DUST. I had noticed before in the other bathrooms but didnt really think about it because of things plus i see the dust more often collect in the orher bathrooms than that one for some reason and I didnt even realize this but because it was something New in the costumer bathroom it was really noticeable now. Which made ne even madder. Its not hard to clean, were supposed to be cleaning the toilet seats anyways so getting just behind them isnt anything!

And its just so aggrivating. The longer at work i was this morning the more it pissed me off. Especially because in addition to what I was seeing, the things I had heard from others over the last couple of weeks started piling on.

With my own eyes i had seen how bad the cart had been and from sam I heard that the water in the bucket had been in there all week, he suspected that he wasnt changing it. He also commented on the rags all over the cart thinking that he wasnt using paper towels to clean and instead used the rags. I heard about how a couple of times now hed forgotten or ignore the front trash cans and some others. I heard from someone in the meat room that when he cleans it he doesnt do that grear a job and even broke a couple small things. Which is all very concerning to hear since thats a fucking sanitation issue!? And I heard from nick yesterday that he thinks that the lead isnt cleaning all thw bathrooms every day and is instead only cleaning them when they look dirty. Which I'm a bit inclinded to believe because the underside of some of the seats seemed much dirtier than id expected.

And its all infuriating! The Boss is the one who showed him all the jobs, none of us showed him any of what we do it was all the Boss. So like, did HE tell the lead not to do this or that? To do some of it to save time? I dont know but some of it is common sense regardless of what hes beeb told hes still fucking it up and hes our fucking boss. And the main one doing everything!

The store hasnt looked as clean from the start of this new contract and now it's even worse and its awful!

And I dont have a way to end this rant it got really long snd feels like it needs a good closer but I dont have one...

[breoffficially]

What have Jackson, Shannon and Henry done?? I'm not biased towards any of them I'm just curious.

*cracks fingers* ok, lets do this. (p.s. im on my mobile phone, so I have to upload links later)Jackson Wang: This isnt the only time that he has been problematic. You have the infamous BamBam/Mark/Yugyeom pool party incident, the blackface CF, the blackface instagram post, but recently, he did a Pespi CF in his home country, which involves his hair attire, DREADS, aka ge was appropriating culture, black culture, specifically. “And this is controversial…how?” well, the appearance of dreads are a protective hairstyle by black people, whom have received negative backlash when wearing them, with words like "ghetto", "ratchet", "nasty", etc. When confronted, predominately through Instagram (IG), he respinded with:"I dont think im the only one doing this and if people are gonna point fingers as this, so be it ... haters gon hate. I have all my respect and love for all RACE. But if you think the whole this is disrepecting or mocking a race , im really sorry but you are on the wrong page"Henry Lau: His fellow SuJu member, Yesung, not too long ago, posted an old video on IG, of himself as Nick Fury, and it involved a wig and of course, blackface. The video soon got around, sparking controversy, and Henry took into action. Not only did he told netizens to delete it, but posted in the post's comments:"If this is racist, then Thor wearing the blonde wig is also racist. c o s p l a y"I believe the video was later taken down by Yesung, but cant forget the Indian man accent. (I believe he has done it twice, I am not for sure, bit I believe the Problematic Idols tumblr blog will give you links to most of the info I am giving you.)And last, but not least...Shannon Williams: I had just returned from camp when this controversy broke out. During a VLive broadcast, which featured her, Dani Kim, and an underground rapper named Jay, she was seen and heard singing "negro" during Beyonce's "Formation", (Dani and Jay knew not to say the word and paused before the word was even heard.), during a game of Heads Up, she referred to Dani's "sheep" as "special needs", when Jay was asked to make a heart by a fan, in return he did, she replies "thats so gay", and when asked about her relationships with SVT, she spoke of DK and Vernon with "ew" and "he's not normal". She later responded the same night, again, through IG, with:"Hey guys woke up to a storm today and wanted to clear things up. I have only found out by reading your comments from you guys other than reading articles because i wanted to know how you guys felt which is very important to me. I didn't intend to seem homophobic and racist which i am NOT. I think the thing with the N word is a misunderstanding i was singing along to Beyonce's Formation and there is a Lyric that did include "Negro" and i did sing along to it. I sincerely apologise to the people who got offended. I am not homophobic i was joking around like i usually do but i guess as a "public figure" i would need to think and speak more carefully. To just clear things with Dani and J and Dk And Vernon we are all good friends there was no hate thrown at another at all just sarcasm so no ones feelings were hurt. Especially knowing dani since i was 12 we are the closest anyone can ever be she knows me down to the core. I am not going to use my age as an excuse because i am and should be old enough to know what to say and what not to say especially publicly. Especially with the special needs joke was immature whether it be a joke or not. I really wanted to just be more open and myself and not be as shy and quiet as how my image was portrayed. I apologise to anyone who were offended and upset with my V app i wanted it to be a fun and casual time with me to you but it went in the exact opposite of what I intended it to be. I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me - Shannon ❤"How can you be "sacrastic" about one's history, one's culture, one's self-esteem? It shouldnt really matter if they're your friends or not. Til this day, many people do not forgive her, but yet her fanbase is still strong.

[officialcheesecakefactory]

1-100

ok first of all. i hate u. second, i promised i was gonna eat ur ass so when & where?im sorry for no read more im on mobile :(1. Is a kiss considered cheating? yeah unless ur like..smoochin ur bud on the lips 2. Have you ever faked orgasm?nope3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?the power of probability so i could have every superpower!! the probability that im rich? 100%. probability i can fly? 100%. i could make anything happen4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?no i think i am going to be homeless & hungry5. Tell us some funny drunk story.i was camping and i got Very wasted, peed in the middle of the road, and broke the hoop off a basketball hoop and threw it in a lake. im a hooligan6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?bc she had no respect for my physical and emotional boundaries7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? falling from an airplane cuz thatd be cool as fuck8. What are your current goals?get new art supplies lmao9. Do you like someone?fuck yeah10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?my dad cuz he visited me today bc he said he missed me but he talked about his job for five minutes and then left11. Do you like your body?every once and a while? if i was healthy & not covered in burns and scars i would probably like it12. Can you keep a diet?fuck no13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?teach your children about consent. teach them that they always have the right to say no when it comes to their body, and that they should tell someone right away if someone touches their body without their permission. teach kids their bodies belong to them & are beautiful and sacred.14. Do you work?i babysit and clean but i don't have a steady job15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?salad, cuz there's no rules about what can be in salad. pizza salad, ice cream salad, ramen salad. no one can stop me16. Would you get a tattoo?yeah, i actually already have like one and a half17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?art supplies, last time i made some good money i bought some and i was so so so so happy18. Can you drive?naw driver's ed costs too much 19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?shit idk? i dunno at least a month20. What was the last thing you cried for?the Broadway for Orlando video21. Do you keep a journal?does an art journal count22. Is life fun?when you make as many bad decisions as me ? yes23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?this is weird uhh depends on who ?24. What’s your dream car?just like. a normal pickup truck 25. Are grades in school important?death is inevitable, live it up dude. if school's your thing, go for it, but if it isn't, don't waste your life on it.26. Describe your crush.amazing, beautiful, blonde, smart, weirdly warm hands, did i say beautiful, SWOLE, best eyes ever, 10/10 hand holder27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?FUCKIN POWER RANGERS!!! i wanna buy that movie so bad it made me so happy i fucking love the power rangers28. What was your last lie?shit it's actually been a while. probably telling my mom i wasn't angry at her for forcing me into trauma therapy lmao29. Dumbest lie you ever told? in middle school i told people i was british30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?it sure as hell isnt fun. i havent cried in front of anyone in at least a year tho31.Something you did and you are proud of?i saw some dudes from school who are cunts while driving so i rolled down the window and yelled "you guys are cunts!" it was good32. What’s your favourite cocktail?vodka & mountain dew ? lmao idk32. Something you are good at?im 10/10 at physically comforting people33. Do you like small kids?yes i love those bitches34. How are you feeling right now?content35. What would you name your daughter/son?Nicklas Backstrom Deserves The Stanley Cup36. What do you need to be happy?laika 37. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?yes so many people. a few are: every single nazi, patrick kane38. What was the last gift you received?a beer cozy that says "if you jerk it they will come"39. What was the last gift you gave?flowers40. What was the last concert you went to?never been to one, im poor41. Favourite place to shop at?goodwill !!42. Who inspires you?every single rape & sexual assault survivor43. How old were you when you first got drunk?uh like 12 i was a great kid44. How old were you when you first got high?13 😎45. How old were you when you first had sex?never had consensual sex46. When was your first kiss?in middle school47. Something you want to do until the end of this year?just until the end of this year ? uh idk get swole48. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?stayed quiet49. Post a selfie.fuck you im ugli50. Who are you most comfortable around?my dog51. Name one thing that terrifies you.men52. What kind of books do you read?i love some gay sci fi fantasty or historical gay or anything with wlw53. What would you tell your 12 year old self?shit dude. buckle up. and go give your brother a hug54. What is your favourite flower?daisies !!!!!!55. Any bad habits you have?so so many. lets go with biting at my fingers til they bleed56. What kind of people are you attracted togirls57. What was the last thing you cried for?this one's in here twice58. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?PIZZA WITH PINEAPPLE >:(59. Are you in love?if i'm not now, i'm very close60. Something you find romantic?any kind of (consensual, obviously) touching tbh its my fave like hand holding, cuddling, bitch slapping me, i love it61. How long was your longest relationship? shit maybe like 6 months ?62. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?uh im nonbinary ? but im dfab soo i love girls and everything they do63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? still nonbinary, but FUCK MEN they dont do anything good ever64. What are you saving money for?nice pencils and charcoal :(65. How would you describe your bad side?stupid66. Are you actually a good person? Why?yeah i'd like to think so! i tske care of the people i love67. What are you living for?right now? a lot of stuff68. Have you ever done anything illegal?uhhhhhhhhhhh🤐69. Do you like your body?this bitch in here twice70. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?does calling people i hate dicks count ?71. Ever sent nudes?yup72. Have you ever cheated on someone?no, and i would never73. Favourite candy?circus peanuts maybe ?74. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!there's so many. im tired im just gonna tag @kegsterking75. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?hitman, i love it76. Favourite TV series?criminal minds77. Are you religious? Does God exist?if god exists, he's a worthless cunt. i think there's something out there more powerful than us, though. not necessarily a god or even sentient78. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?sarah's waterfall. yeah. i read it every night79. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?you do you but if you're a cunt you're a cunt80. How long have you been on Tumblr?i dunno maybe like 3 or 4 years 😬81. Do you like Chinese food?yeah82. McDonalds or Subway?subway for food, mcdons for price83. Vodka or whiskey?vodka84. Alcohol or drugs?drugs homie85. Ever been out of your province/state/country?yeah out of my state 86. Meaning behind your blog name?cheesecake is really good87. What are you scared of?men88. Last time you were insulted?like yesterday89. Most traumatic experience ?SKIP90. Perfect date idea?kill someone with my bare hands to impress laika91. Favourite app on your phone?honestly subway surfers i love that shit (fuck the nhl app)92. What colour are the walls in your room?white ish93. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?yup, idk i watch whatever bullshit pops up94. Share your favourite quote.steve jobs: i wanna make a dent in the universe. its so vaguely threatening like please dont demt the universe dad just bought it95. What is the meaning of life?there isn't a meaning exactly, but i think people are meant to love96. Do you like horror movies?heck yeah97. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?i told her the truth98. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?i'm lucky as FUCK laika even gives me the time of day so yeah99. Can you keep a secret?boy can ii repeated number 16 and i was fixing it but uh fuck that im lazy

[thehogmother]

Nap Dream

had a nap dream, and a weird dream last night will post that one later.

idk how to add read more on mobil sorry

I was bunking in a small house with others. One guy was kinda off but in a cute way imo vs creepy. I enjoyed when he was around and talked despite others feeling uncomfortable. He seemed off put by this and confused when i followed him out of the room one day to keep talking. He kinda brushed me off, probly from not being used to anyone enjoying his company.

but anyway. Was out anouther day and some lady was looking full of concern and distress. She complained of a villian who was so cruel and broke her mentally. Her description was of tge guy who also bunked in the house with me and others. I was confused, he had only intersting things to say imo.

I when to his part of the house, i normally dont. and there was like a phychic set up but supper non traditional. Could only tell from the vibe and set up.

There was a stack of white obviously hand made cards, some out the of a little hand made cardboard box for them some in.

I walked around the table to see the guy, and he was facing away on the far right end of the table. He just said "read the signs, please take a card first" So i went back and got one of the white cards, it said "Faith" in all caps, in kinda scratchy hand writing. Without looking he said "thank you please put it in the box" I did so then walked up to him again. and he turned slightly to look at me from the side. He asked me to tell him everything that was on the card. ... I stumbled and murmured "it only said FAITH"

He replied by faxibg me fully and resting his head on his hands. "Only? Did it really only says FAITH? What else did it say to you? What is FAITH to you?"

i stammered over my words as i said the text book and tradition things of faith that everything will be ok and the vague word of trust in the universe...

He just looked as me with such a eating stare full of boubt. "Is that so? I dont think you feel that way. I asked what it means to/you/."

I looked at him saddly and worriedof getting scorn as i spoke with more direction "Its in myself. Not the universe, not others, Not some god or diety. Its for myself. I should- no I have faith im my own instics and intuition. I believe my 'gut' and subconscious knows more specific truth to my specific situations."

i just frowned worried of being told my ego in inflated as normal and how i need to confirm to some higher power as usual. abut he smirked and said "never stop being honest and true to yourself, others shoukdnt matter, they will follow in your self confidence"

I started tearing up and was "Ylu really are cruel" through a smile and reached over the table to hold him which he leaned in for when he noticed i wanted one for giving my thanks.

[harryisntstraight]

Sorry that was so long i just am feeling very confused about how i identify and i thought maybe you would have some advice or be able to help me out a little? You're always so sweet and kind and im feeling very lost atm. Sorry about only 2 of the asks going through tumblr didnt eat them my phone was just not letting me send them so i had to switch to my computer. You can just read all the asks and reply to just this one on your blog if thats ok? :)

aaww hey i’ll post the rest under a readmore so it doesnt clog ppl dash (soz if ur reading this on mobile jfhsdjh) also i posted the rest of ur ask just bc i feel like there might be ppl who resonate w the whole thing yanno

I've known I liked girls for a few years now and I've always labeled myself as bisexual and I have dated one guy and it was a pretty eh relationship. Didn't feel much so I broke it off. I recently have been really questioning my attraction to men. I feel sexually attracted to some men but not that many. I'll see the occasional guy I find attractive irl but that's pretty rare mostly I find some celebrity men hot but even that is very few when compared to the amount of women I find attractive I just feel like I find all women so beautiful and am attracted to them in this whole different way to men? Like it takes a lot for me to find a guy hot and when I do it's almost never to the degree that I feel for women. And when I think about men romantically it does nothing for me all the cute stuff you're supposed to want I don't? I can think about sex with certain men and find it very appealing and that's it. But when I think about dating a woman and doing really cute mushy stuff with her it feels so right and makes me feel like its all i want? And I can see myself having a wife and being with a woman forever but men just dont really appeal to me in that way i just cant see it? Thing is I've never actually dated a girl so i keep telling myself im kind of making it up in my head how much i want it or how it could be but idk. And i feel sexually attracted to some guys so i think oh but maybe there will be a guy you want all that with? and i just dont know anymore?

firstly hiiii i relate so much to so many things u said here and i feel like this such common experience for women that are into other women. i think for me personally, i’ve always kind of been quite into the idea of not labelling my sexuality specifically. i feel really comfortable with using labels like gay or lgbt or queer as umbrella terms when talking about myself, but referring to myself as bisexual or lesbian never really feels 100% right for me. like you said, i know that i’m attracted to women romantically and sexually so i definitely identify as being lgbt i just always find it difficult to point to one precise label thats more specific. i think in a way, a lot of what your describing is probably down to heteronormativity and a degree of internalised homophobia, like its something that we all have to battle with and deal with daily even on a subconscious level. when being same gender attracted is still seen as ‘abnormal’ i think its only natural to feel weird about that part of yourself and want to repress it slightly. i think being a woman as well we’re so defined by our supposed attraction to men that its hard to get over that and accept that it’s something you dont feel. even if you know if ur heart that loving women is a natural and beautiful thing, when ur constantly surrounded by a society thats so focused on heterosexuality it can be so difficult to accept that part of you no matter how much you want to. i cant tell you how you identify or what the right label is for you but i think just being open and not pressuring yourself into fitting one specific label can actually be really helpful and take a lot of the stress and anxiety away. i think once you stop frantically trying to put a name to what you feel, it gets easier to just....Feel(tm) what youre feeling and sort of go with the flow. not second guessing and analysing my attraction has honestly helped me a lot, if i feel something for someone i sort of just feel it. i try not to get caught up in putting a name on my sexuality, but instead just experience it as it happens. i think its a really natural thing to want to understand yourself and figure out who you are but honestly, you have so much time to do that that if you cant figure it out right now then its not that important. i think as long as you acknowledge your attraction to women and are open to exploring it then not knowing for sure whether or not you also like men isn’t a big deal. i definitely think that experience is helpful to understanding yourself better, once you have that experience it does help solidify things in your mind and i know for myself that once i started being with girls i became 100000% more sure that i wasnt ‘faking’ anything and that i was into them. that being said, it isnt mandatory and not having experience with the same sex doesnt by any means devalue your feelings or sexuality. long story short just give it time, dont stress yourself out too much with forcing a label that you’re unsure about. things will get clearer for eventually and maybe someday you’ll find a label that fits you. and maybe you wont and honestly thats okay too. sexuality is complex as hell and understanding yourself is genuinely a journey, it’s totally okay if you’re only just getting started. hope this helped a bit, love you 💖

[getinthering]

Taang Week Day 2: Modern AU

“Thursday, never looking back,”

[ @taangweek​ Day 2: Modern AU

After only two weeks of spring semester, Aang is fed up and ready to drop his geology class.]

A/N: i wanna redo this and make it better and i really struggled with the world-building here ngl so I couldn’t really come up with good names for the buildings or profs.  what can you do¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Inspired by tumblr user @rllyjohnrlly’s modern au, specifically this post.

Read on AO3

***

Science, as Aang was learning, was absolutely not what he had thought it would be.  When he was still in high school, he excitedly declared a zoology major on all of his college applications, thinking he would turn his love for animals into a lifelong career.

All it took was his first college-level biology class to quickly bury that idea.  Between that and chemistry for non-majors, he felt resigned to the idea that all science classes were a bad idea for him, and that he’d better just pick the easiest one in the catalog to round out his general requirements.  Which is how he found himself enrolled in the Introduction to Geology class his freshman spring semester.  He’d learned the three types of rocks and the basics in high school, how hard could it be?

(the answer was very hard)

(but slightly less hard than biology)

After the second week of class, he sat on the floor of Katara’s dorm, textbook draped across his lap as she sat at her desk, diligently working on her homework.  She really excelled at the very classes that almost killed him and he admired that about her.

“Ugh!” Aang groaned, slamming his textbook shut and throwing his head back onto her bed.   “Katara, this is awful.” 

She set her pen down and shifted in her chair to face him, the look on her face one of confusion and concern.  “What’s the matter?” 

“I can’t do this!  I hate this class,” he replied, pressing his palms into his eyes.

“Aang, what are you talking about?  You can’t hate a class already, we’re only two weeks into the semester!  What could possibly be so bad about it now?” Katara asked, getting up from her chair and walking over to sit across from him.

He sighed and let his hands fall back into his lap.   He rolled his head to look at her.  “Because it’s awful!  I knew it probably wouldn’t be much fun, but I thought at least it would be pretty easy.  And it’s not!  It’s so hard and so boring and the professor is the most lame professor I have ever met.” 

(she couldn’t help but smirk at that)

“Okay, well, you’re not going to find a class that’s easy, especially in your weakest subject.  It’s just not going to happen.  Maybe it’ll get more interesting after the first few chapters.  Those are always just introductory anyway, they’re way more boring than the rest of the class.” She could see he wasn’t convinced and added, “The drop period was over Friday, anyway, so if you’re going to take a withdrawal, you might as well wait until after the first test.  Maybe it won’t be as hard as you’re expecting.” 

Aang sighed.  She was right.  He hated when she was right.  “Fine.  I’ll stick it out through the first test, but can we please take a study break now?”

***

Thursday morning, Aang walked into the lecture hall, trying his best not to drag his feet.  It took all of his determination that morning to make his way to class instead of staying holed up in his dorm, playing video games until he got hungry.  But he’d promised Katara and he knew he would get an earful if he broke his promise.  Maybe if he just pretended he was Katara for a period, he’d have more ease with the class.  Katara wouldn’t sit in the back, as was his first impulse, she would sit in the very first row.

He compromised and sat about four rows back.  Earbud in one ear, he set his notebook on the table and pulled out his phone, scrolling through the texts from his friends that he’d missed on his walk.  He didn’t notice when a dark-haired girl sat in the seat next to him until she tapped on his notebook.  Startled, he yanked out the earbud and looked at her.  “Um, hello?”

The girl looked at him 

(he couldn’t help but notice how pale her eyes were and the weird quality to her gaze that he couldn’t pinpoint)

and said, “You normally sit all the way in the back.  What are you doing up here now?  We haven’t even had a test.  Did you get in trouble or something?” 

His cheeks felt warm and he knew he was blushing.  “No, I just felt like maybe I’d learn better closer to the front.  This stuff has been kind of hard for me so far, I guess.” 

The look on her face was a little unsettling, like she was staring straight through him.  She finally shrugged, turning away from him.  “What’s so hard about geology?”

“I don’t know.   I guess science classes just don’t come very easily to me.”

“Well lucky for you, geology is, like, as easy as they get,” she said.  He didn’t feel especially reassured, but smiled a little anyway.

“So what you’re saying is you’ll help me study?”  Aang asked sheepishly.

She snorted, but replied, “Maybe I will.  What’s your major, anyway?”  

“Oh, um,” he stuttered, feeling the redness in his face deepening and rubbing his neck in embarrassment.  “I was a zoology major, but right now I’m undeclared.” He wanted to ask her the same question, wanted suddenly to know everything about this brazen, somewhat guarded girl who had sat next to him (and had noticed that it was not his normal seat), but was cut off by the professor calling the class’s attention to the lectern.

***

Seventy-five painstaking minutes of trying

(and failing) 

to pay attention to the powerpoint in front of him instead of the dark-haired girl leaned back in the seat next to him later, the class was dismissed.  The girl had stood, grabbing her bag, and Aang panicked for a moment, trying to think of something to say.  He finally settled on asking if he could walk her to her next class.

She paused, turning her head towards him.  “Well, it’s all the way over in the Humanities building.”

“That’s okay, that’s on the way to my dorm, and I don’t have another class for an hour, anyway.” He swore he saw her smile as she rolled her eyes and said, “Fine.  You can walk with me.” 

They talked the whole way there, never seeming to run out of topics.  He was disappointed at how short the walk felt, having so much more to ask her.  He’d found out she was an architecture major with a lifelong special interest in geology, lived in the freshman dorms by the Physical Sciences lecture hall, and that despite being blind, she was as in-tune with her surroundings as anyone.  It was only after they said their goodbyes that he realized he’d never learned her name.

***

Her name, as it turned out, was Toph.

Every Tuesday and Thursday over the next three weeks, they sat next to each other and Aang walked her to her next class.  He actually found motivation to study his notes for the first time, if only for the fact that the recordings she shared with him featured their conversations in the background of the lecture.  

Once, he had been running late after sleeping through his alarms, and while his first impulse had been to go back to sleep and skip his first class of the day, he bolted out of bed and rushed to get dressed, worrying that someone would take his seat next to Toph.

(or worse, she wouldn’t even notice)

He nearly ran all the way across campus.  Heart pounding, he snuck through the doorway as the professor lectured on and slipped into his usual seat next to Toph.  She lifted her head; something he couldn’t quite place flashed over her face.

(relief?)

“Finally decided to show up, huh?” she whispered.

He started to explain himself, but stopped short, deciding on a better way to embarrass himself.  “Yeah.  I got caught up trying to figure out why you’re so good at this class.” 

“Did you figure it out?” 

“It’s because you don’t take anything for granite.”  He looked over to catch the way the corner of her lips tugged upwards through the taken-aback look on her face.

“That was awful.  Don’t do that again,” she hissed at him.

“Okay, okay,” he conceded, chuckling to himself.  “You know what I would’ve been if I hadn’t shown up today?” 

“What’s that?”

“A skipping stone.” 

The irritated expression she wore intensified, fending off the smile he so desperately wanted to see.  “Seriously, you have got to stop doing that.  I don’t like puns, especially when they’re that bad.” 

“My sediments exactly.”  He almost expected her to hit him, but was delighted to hear a giggle escape.  A warm feeling spread through his chest and he knew then that he would spend every last moment he had for the rest of her life trying to make her laugh again.

***

“You guys!” Aang exclaimed, slamming the door to Sokka’s apartment closed a little harder than he had meant to.  He continued into the living room, all but throwing himself onto the couch next to Katara without so much as a “hello” to her, Sokka, or Suki.  “I had the most amazing date today.” 

Sokka looked up from where he sat, getting his hair braided, between Suki’s legs.  “You had a date?  With who?” 

“Was it that girl from your geology class?” Katara asked. 

“Yes!  Her name is Toph and I finally got her number and we’ve been talking, like, non-stop,” he blurted all at once.

“Slow down!” Katara giggled.  “Are you going to tell us about the date?” 

“Right, so I’ve sat next to her in geology since I’ve been wanting to do better in that class.  That’s been a bad idea as far as paying more attention, but spirits, it’s been the best.  I was almost late this morning because I slept through my alarms.”  Seeing the admonishing look on Katara’s face, he added, “I actually got up as soon as I realized and went to class, don’t worry, Momtara.  Anyway, I got to class just as the prof was starting the powerpoint, and when I first walked in, I was worried someone else might have taken the seat next to her that I’ve been sitting in, but no one had.  And she actually seemed like she was looking for me.  I mean, she can’t see, but still, when I finally got there and sat down, I swear it looked like she was happy to see me.” 

Not leaving room for Sokka to make a disparaging joke, Aang recounted the jokes he’d told her,

(which he definitely stayed up several nights in a row to come up with) 

how she’d acted like she’d hated them, but he’d caught her snickering a few times.  

“So you asked her out after class?” Suki asked.

Aang blushed and ran a hand through his short hair.  “Not exactly.”  He held up his hands in protest of his friends’ exclamations.  “I always walk her to her next class because it’s on the way to my dorm and I always want to keep talking to her.  Well, we get all the way to the Humanities building and she looks at me and says, ‘I don’t really feel like going to this class today.’” 

“She skipped class?” Suki asked with a mock-scandalous tone.  “Maybe you two are meant for each other.” 

“I know!” Aang said, ignoring the jab entirely.  “And, Katara, don’t give me that look.  I would have convinced her to go to class, but the opportunity was there and I couldn’t pass up taking her to lunch.” Grinning, he told them about how Toph had loosened up while they ate, even agreeing to try his favorite vegan restaurant in the main commons, how cute she was when she smiled at him.  She had even agreed to a study date the following night.

He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face when he asked, “So would you guys be okay if she came to hang out with us this weekend?”