#wanted to write some hgngng emotion

[broth-y]

"Sorry isn't good enough, Gundham!"

He stumbled back as if the booming phrase had pushed him. He struggled to stop himself from falling over, grasping desperately at the nearest object. Stabling himself, the words echoed through his ears, only challenged by the thud of his heartbeat pounding wildly in his chest. 

Sorry… wasn't good enough. He had messed up, really messed up.

He dug through his mind, trying to find a response. There wasn't anything left for him to say. Gundham knew he would only worsen the situation with any rebuttal. It didn't matter; if he were to try and say anything, he knew the words would stick on the inside of his throat. His justifications glued down like a rat in a trap. 

The guilt set in. Gundham tightened his hands into white-knuckled fists, sharp nails settling into the skin beneath. Maybe he shouldn't have put himself out there in the first place. Vulnerability is a side effect of devotion, after all.  

He felt better alone. Solitude left no possibility to disappoint anyone other than himself. That way he wouldn't have to feel the crushing disapproval that rattled through his bones, the hurricane roaring through his stomach, the resentment towards himself that destroyed him every time. Gundham wouldn't have to feel this.

Weak legs carried him to the exit of the room. steadying himself, he stammered. "I.. will excuse myself."