#ok sorry everyone i just needed to get this OUT

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: a tumblr reblog chain which says:

082: does anyone else want yaoi cocaine

catfanblog: I know that op is probably joking, however I don't understand what's funny...fetishizing mlm relationships isn't funny it is a serious problem. I think you all need to read posts before you reblog them, I'm truly hoping most people reblogging didn't see the "yaoi" part or something. Jfc I thought we were past this

neotrances: kinda homophobic to be agaisnt yaoi cocaine

catfanblog: You have blood on your hands]

[An anonymous tumblr ask which says: hey people are harassing the guy who commented on the yaoi cocaine post could u like get them to stop or something? he seems genuinely upset abt it

neotrances replies: ?? i'm not making anyone do anything and five other people responded to him / were sending him messages before i said anything in the post sorry that's happening but like. i literally did not say anything other than yaoi cocaine

catfanblog reblogs with an image of an anime boy crying in the rain.]

[A tumblr post by vergak which says: Anyways who else wants some yaoi ibuprofen?

catfanblog reblogs saying: Stop tormenting me. Please. I am asking nicely]

[A tumblr reblog chain which says

vampirate: ok so aside from this person does anyone else want yaoi cocaine

catfanblog: You aren't funny, kid.

atrisrising: but is the yaoi cocaine free?

catfanblog: Be honest. Would you be sad if I died. Would you feel guilty]

[An anonymous tumblr ask which says: very insensitive of you to say that my boyfriend is on a yaoi morphine drip at the yaoi hosptial because of a yaoi cocaine overdose :/

vergak replies with a fanart of Sonic the hedgehog unconscious in a hospital bed with Knuckles standing beside him and crying.

catfanblog reblogs saying in all capitals: enough about the yaoi drugs enough about the yaoi drugs]

[A tumblr post which says: All of you want me dead

catfanblog reblogs saying: All I do is reblog saying my opinion and everyone had to attack me. Just leave mlm alone

#vent tw]

[Tags which say #tw truama #traumacore #depressed #actually insane #pain #suffering #anger #hatred #sadness #yaoi cocaine]

[A screenshot of a post on catfanblog's blog, which shows seven images of crying anime boys.]

[A tumblr post by getouuu, showing a drawing of two anime boys making out (who might be L and Light from Death Note), with the caption "Yaoi moment." Below the image they say: catfanblog this could be us if we took some Yaoi cocaine and relaxed <3

catfanblog reblogs saying: i'm actually feeling something between us... should we explore this? let me know]

[A screenshot of DMs between vergak and catfanblog, which say:

vergak: Legitimately brilliant satire. Id love to share a yaoi blunt with you.

catfanblog: i want you]

Yaoi cocaine saga

[starlost-maniac]

I don't love her...do I? - Ch 2

Warnings/genre: SMUT, fwb, piv, unprotected sex (don't do it), mxf, some angst, unrequited love, Mean Seungmin, probably missed some

Pairing: Seungmin x fem!reader // Jeongin x fem!reader

SKZ boys are touchy in this, but nothing sexual aside from SeungIN

dividers made by @cafekitsune

You had spent the night at their flat, not wanting to go back to your dorm tonight as you were sore and tired. You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling your clothes shifting on you. You open your eyes and look around, the room dark aside from the light peeking through the curtains from the moon.

"It's just me." Seungmin whispers, his head in the shirt you're borrowing. He kisses up your stomach to your breasts, kissing and licking the hardening nubs. You groan softly at being woken up. He reaches under you and grabs the waistband of the shorts you wear and slides them off, slipping his head out of the shirt. He shifts down the bed and spreads your legs, licking your folds, trying to get you wet for him.

You moan and squirm a little as he licks between your folds, licking at your clit. You reach down and gently grip his hair. He continues licking you, opening you up with his fingers. He gently nips at your clit before shoving his tongue into your cunt, pulling a loud gasp from you. You pull his hair a bit and he grunts. He rubs your clit as he eats you out, slowly pulling you close to your release. You moan his name as you squirm, his fingers and tongue moving fast. You gasp and arch your back as you cum. Seungmin grins and licks up your release before he pulls away. He gently kisses your hips where he knows he bruised you before laying back next to you, pulling you close.

"I am sorry if I hurt you, Y/n. I didn't mean to be too rough." He rubs your back as you cuddle into his chest.

"It's ok, Minnie." You say sleepily. "Apologize to Lixie though. He didn't need to be dragged into it." You tuck your head into his neck, making Seungmin turn his head a bit. He lets out a quiet 'mm', listening as your breathing steadies out as you fall back asleep.

——

Class started a little late as the professor showed up late, apologizing profusely. Seungmin sat to your left, his arm over the back of your chair, lazily rubbing your back with his fingers. Jeongin sat to your right, running his fingers along the bare skin of your leg as you were wearing short shorts. Seungmin didn't have a valid reason that he could come up with, but he did not like Jeongin and definitely didn't like him touching you.

You checked your student email during class to see if your professor from your last class had sent updates about any upcoming projects or homework, but saw your second class professor canceled for the rest of the week, and said to just finish the homework and she'll see everyone Monday. You point it out to Seungmin and he nods.

Jeongin trails his fingers up your leg a little, grazing your thigh with his fingers and you shiver a bit. Jeongin smirks at that, running his fingers along your inner thigh, and your cheeks turn a light pink. You turn your head to look at him, but he was looking towards the front of the class. He squeezes his long fingers between your thighs and rests his palm on your leg, occasionally gripping your thigh. Your cheeks turn a little darker as you turn your head back to your laptop.

At lunch, Jeongin follows you and Seungmin to the table that had your friends. Seungmin pulls you into his lap after he sits, Jeongin sitting where you would've.

"I hope it's ok that I invited Jeongin to join us for lunch today. I have a feeling that you guys might get along." You look between your friends. They all say it's ok and you all talk, some of the boys teasing you and Seungmin about the visible marks you have that they can see. You roll your eyes with a smile as Seungmin just holds you in his lap. Jeongin surprisingly keeps his hands to himself right now.

"Oh, Felix." Seungmin looks at the blonde.

"Hmm?" Felix looks back, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have really forced you into that." Seungmin pats your thigh a few times, squeezing your plush leg.

"It's ok, Seungmin." He smiles brightly. "I didn't mind it, honestly."

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, looking between you, Seungmin and Felix.

"Do we want to know what happened?" Jisung pipes up.

"Mm. Seungmin came home in a mood. Basically told Y/n to cock warm me and fucked her at the same time for a while." Felix sits back in his chair, a smirk on his face. The boys look over at you, your cheeks red. You knew all of your friends found you attractive and have stated that they'd love to fuck you a few times, but you've only really slept with Seungmin, and now technically Felix.

"That's really hot." Chan, Minho and Jisung said at the same time.

You cover your face with your hands in embarrassment. Jeongin chuckles beside you. He calls you cute, but you don't hear him. As your usual lunch time comes to an end, your friends state they have to go to their other classes, leaving you, Seungmin and Jeongin. Jeongin looks at you and smiles.

"I unfortunately have another class to get to myself, so I'll see you tomorrow, then maybe after my last class, we can get together and sit down for this project?" He turns in his seat, sharp eyes looking at you. You uncover your still pink face and look back at him. You nod and say you'll text him. He smiles and stands up. Leaning down, he kisses your cheek again and Seungmin tightens his grip on you some.

"I'll see you later Y/n, Seungmin." He nods at Seungmin who just watches him.

"I have to go to my dorm, Seungmin. I gotta get some of this homework done." You turn your head to look at him. "Did you want to come with me?"

"Mm. Yeah. I can probably help you with your homework too." He teases, letting you stand. He stands up behind you, placing his hand on your ass as you both walk to your dorm. Some of the girls stare at him, either because they have a crush on him, or they want to sleep with him. You know Seungmin has a track record with some of these girls, but it doesn't really bother you, as you've slept with a few guys on campus too.

You get to your dorm and go up to your floor, opening your door. You go inside and greet your roommate. She waves at you and Seungmin before going back to her book. You sit at your desk and Seungmin sits on your bed against the wall. He plays around on his phone a bit before looking up at you.

"Come here and do your homework." He waves you over. You look at him and shake your head.

"You're so needy today." You laugh.

You get up, moving your books and pens to the bed. He holds his hand out for you and pulls you between his legs, pulling you back so you're leaning against him. You grab your books again, and prop them against your knees. Seungmin helps you when he sees you starting to struggle.

Once you're finally done with your homework, he reaches over and drops your books on your desk for you. Your roommate had left to go to the library not long ago, so your dorm room was empty aside from you and Seungmin. He wraps his arms around you once he's sitting back again.

"Mm. Y/n?" He whispers, placing a kiss on the back of your head.

"Mhmm?" You close your eyes.

"Can you ride me?" He smiles when you laugh out. "It's been a while since I let you be on top, and like you said, I'm so needy today." He chuckles, teasing you.

"Mmm.." You playfully think on it. "I guess I can." You get up from between his legs and slowly start to strip. He watches you, his cock hard in his pants. He sits up and pulls his shirt off, tossing it to the end of your bed. He palms himself through his pants as you drop your shirt on your desk chair, taking your pants off next.

"Don't be a tease, Y/n. Not now at least." He lifts his hips off your bed, slipping his pants and boxers off, tossing them with his shirt at the end of your bed. You turn your head to smirk at him, reaching behind you to unclip your bra. You slip it off and add it to your pile of clothes, adding your panties next.

You walk back over to your bed and Seungmin holds his hand out to you again, helping you on your bed and helping you straddle him. He gently places his hands on your thighs, rubbing up and down from your hips to your knees.

"I know I don't say this often, and as your best friend, I really should say this more." He laughs out. "But you are really beautiful, Y/n." He smiles up at you. You love when he shows off his soft side. Your cheeks start to turn pink again, as you aren't used to him complimenting you like this. You know he finds you attractive, but he isn't one for giving out compliments.

"Thank you, Minnie." You smile, squeaking when he pulls you towards him, slotting his lips against yours. He kisses you softly and sensually as he slips a hand into your hair. You place one hand on his cheek and reach down between you, gently gripping his cock. He grunts quietly as you start to stroke him, smiling into the kiss before pulling away.

You lift your hips and line yourself up, Seungmin helping, before lowering yourself onto him. You moan out at the stretch, closing your eyes. He slides his hands down to your still bruised hips, gently rubbing his thumbs over them.

"I really did a number on you, didn't I?" He looks over your skin, looking at the bruises and hickeys he littered along your skin as you lower yourself on him.

"I don't mind it, Seungmin. If I had an issue with it, I would've told you by now." You look at him, a soft smile on your lips.

"I know, but I still should be more careful." He leans forward, placing soft kisses along your collarbone.

"What's gotten into you, Minnie?" You place your hands on his shoulders as his kisses continue up your neck. He sits back and looks up at you, shaking his head.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. Now," he pats your thighs. "Let's get going." He smirks at you, his normal demeanor back. You stare at him for a moment.

"You're so weird." You laugh. His cock twitches inside you when you smile. Your hands slip down to his chest as you start circling your hips, soft moans escape your lips. He gently grabs your hips, helping guide you, leaning back against your wall again. As much as he loved being on top when you guys fucked, he loved having you on top just as much.

You slowly start to bounce on him, your moans getting louder. Seungmin smirks, watching you ride him. He groans when you grind on him, his head falling back, making an audible thump on the wall.

"How are you still so tight for me, Y/n? Fuck.." he mumbles out as you lean back some. He watches as his cock slides in and out of you, his length shiny with your slick. "Mmm..." he sucks air in through his teeth, sliding his hands up your stomach to grab your breasts, being careful of the bruises on your ribs.

"Always tight for you, Minnie." You moan out, shifting your hands to his legs behind you as you lean back more. His hands drop back to your hips, moving one to your belly so he can rub your clit with his thumb. Your head falls back as you moan his name.

"Fuck, Y/n...keep saying my name." He groans out as he rubs faster.

"Ahh..Seung...Seungmin." You clench around him, feeling your release coming on quickly.

"That's it, baby." He mumbles, quickening his pace against your clit. You arch your back and moan out, cumming hard. Seungmin groans out when you clench around his cock. He pulls you close to him, wrapping one arm around you, the other gripping your ass so he can fuck up into you, fucking you through your high. You bury your face into his neck, moaning out, breath warm against his skin.

"I'm almost there, Y/n." He whispers in your ear, making you shiver and clench around him again. He thrusts up into you harder, holding you close. He fucks into you a few more times, listening to your muffled moans. He moves his other hand to your ass just before cumming deeply into you. He groans and holds your hips down, your cunt clenching around him again as he empties inside you. He massages your ass as you relax against him, you both breathing hard.

"Feel better, Minnie?" You softly kiss his neck, feeling his hand slide up to your back. He lets out an 'mhmm' as he gently runs his finger tips along your skin. He looks at your bedside clock and sees it says 3pm.

"You hungry? I can take you out for dinner if you want." He usually offers to buy you food, since he knows you have limited funds on your student meal card. You sit up and groan, legs a little sore. He chuckles and rubs your thighs softly.

"Yeah. I could go for some food."

You and Seungmin get up and get dressed. He steps behind you and wraps his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. He looks at you both in your full length mirror.

"I do mean it when I say you really are beautiful, Y/n. I'm sorry I don't say it enough." He places a soft kiss on your neck. "I should be hyping you up as your best friend." He mumbles, gently squeezing you in the hug.

"I know you do, Minnie. And you don't need to apologize. You hype me up in your own way, and I get it." You smile at him in the mirror, tilting your head a bit. He kisses your neck more, nipping every so often. "We just fucked though. Let's get dinner first before round two." He chuckles against your neck and pulls away.

——

You decided on going to the college campus lunch area, since you didn't really want anything special. Seungmin paid for your food and his and you went to sit in the mostly empty cafeteria. You were surprised to see Felix, Minho and Jisung there, as they didn't normally eat dinner here. You two sat with them and asked what they were doing here.

"Felix was over at our dorm, and Jisung got hungry, so we came here for food." Minho shrugs. You nod and the five of you converse. Felix looks over your shoulder and points behind you, food in his mouth. You look at him confused before someone behind you covers your eyes with their hands. Seungmin furrows his brow and rolls his eyes.

"Judging by how Seungmin went silent, I'm going to assume it's Jeongin?" You put a finger on your chin. The boy laughs out behind you, uncovering your eyes, he leans down and to your side a bit so he can see you.

"Hi, Y/n. I saw you guys over here and just wanted to say hi." He smiles, flashing his dimple.

"Did you come to eat too?" You look at him, smiling.

"Mm, kinda. I got food to bring up to my place to eat while I work on homework, and then something to eat after I go to the gym."

"Ahh, well, I hope you have fun." You laugh and he smiles wider.

"I'll see you tomorrow in class. Text me tomorrow with where we can meet up to start the project, since our schedules keep clashing." He chuckles. You nod a confirmation. He kisses your cheek, lingering there for a moment before he stands up. He looks at Seungmin and winks, a smirk on his face before he leaves. Your friends watching him leave before looking at you and Seungmin.

"Are you sure he doesn't like you, Y/nnie?" Jisung asks. "Cause he is definitely flirting with you."

"I agree with him, Y/n. Obviously we don't know him well enough to 100% tell, but his actions say otherwise." Minho crosses his arms and rests them on the table.

"He could just be a natural flirt." You wave your hand, dismissing their claims. "I've met plenty of people who are just natural flirts." You look at Jisung. "Plus, he hardly knows me anyway."

"He could also see your natural beauty, Y/n. Like how we all do." Felix chimes in, resting his cheek in his hand. "Plus, as you know, we'd all love a chance with you." He grins. You just roll your eyes at them, a smile on your face.

"Or in some cases," Jisung eyes Felix and Seungmin. "Another chance." Minho and Seungmin laugh. You chuckle.

"Are you coming back to the flat, Y/n?" Seungmin looks at you. "After we grab your homework and everything I mean."

"Sure. Your bed is softer than the dorm beds anyway." You stretch.

"You can always move in, Y/n. I know Seungmin offered a few times." Felix sits back in his chair. "We can change the gaming room upstairs to a bedroom for you, too. It's literally the same size as mine and Seungmin's room."

"That and it'll save you money on having to pay for the dorm too. I'm sure the college will refund you for the rest of the semester and next year too." Seungmin looks at you. You knew he was being genuine.

You groan, not wanting to be a bother. As soon as you open your mouth to decline, both Felix and Seungmin cut you off.

"You will not be a bother." They say in unison. You pout. They know you so well.

"Fiiine. But you guys are helping me move my things." You point to Felix and Seungmin. Felix grins and laughs.

"Not a problem. I'll see if we can't rope Chan and Changbin to help." Felix says.

"We do however need to buy you a bed, as we don't have a spare in the flat." Seungmin pokes your leg. "So when we get free time, either after class, or when we aren't working on that project with the weirdo,—" you smack Seungmin's arm. "—We can go shopping and pick up some other essentials for your room. Sound good?"

"Are we sure that you're the same Kim Seungmin that I've known my entire life? You're being awfully nice lately." You laugh, teasing him.

"I'll be mean in bed later." Jisung snorts. "But, as your best friend, I want to make sure you have enough things there to make you comfortable. You're also at the flat more than you're in your dorm at this point anyway, so?" He shrugs.

You smile softly at him. "Thank you, Seungmin. I genuinely mean that." You lean over and hug him. He wraps one arm around you and rubs your back. The other three boys coo at him, teasing him again. He flips them off with his other hand, a smile on his face.

"Don't mention it, Y/n. I'm sure the others would've offered too, if they weren't already living in the dorms too." You sit back in your chair. "When we go up, we can grab some of your smaller items and a few extra outfits and stuff." You nod in agreement, pulling your phone out to look at the time. It was nearly 6pm. You've been in the lunch room with your friends for a few hours.

"Let's go grab some of my things before it gets too late." You put your phone away and look at Felix. "Are you going to be at the flat tonight, or are you staying with Minho and Jisung tonight?"

"Why? You want the flat to yourselves?" Felix teases, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Maybe." Seungmin says flatly.

"Just don't be too rough on her, this time." Felix looks between you.

"I won't. I already feel bad." Seungmin mumbles.

You say goodnight to your friends, giving them each a hug before heading up to your dorm. You walk into your room, seeing your roommate hasn't come back yet. You pack your text books into your bag as Seungmin pulls your smaller suitcase out from under your bed, putting some clothes and your toiletries in it. He grabs other things he thinks you may need as well, before closing it up. When you're both ready, he brings you back to the flat.

"Since the room obviously isn't ready yet, we'll just keep your stuff in my room." He kicks his shoes off and puts his slippers on, you following right behind him after putting his shoes on the shoe rack again. "You don't have to do that, you know." He looks at you, one foot on the stairs.

"You've tripped on your shoes how many times as you rush out the door?" You point out. His lips a fine line as he stays silent, knowing you're right. After a moment of silence, he sticks his tongue out at you before carrying your suitcase up to his room. You laugh loudly before you follow him.

Seungmin places the suitcase next to his dresser before plopping down in his bed, feet planted on the floor. He watches you as you place your bag on his desk chair. You turn to look at him.

"What?" You raise an eyebrow.

"Hmm?" He puts his hands behind his head.

"You're staring at me."

"No I'm not." You give him a pointed look and walk over to him. You step over his legs and sit on his knees. He lifts his head and looks at you, a smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" He laughs.

"Sitting." You state plainly.

"I can see that. Why on my legs though?" He sits up, propping himself on his elbows and you just shrug. "You're so weird." He smiles and sits up just to pull you down on top of him, you both laughing. "Wanna fuck then shower? We can watch movies or something until we fall asleep after?" His hand runs along the curve of your ass.

"Sounds like a plan to me." You smile before he rolls you both over, kneeling between your legs now, caging you on the bed with his arms.

You both have an eventful time in bed, Seungmin actually being nice for the first two rounds. Once you got in the shower together, he was rough but helped clean you up after. You were cuddling in bed naked together watching TV before you fell asleep on his chest. He reaches for the blanket with his free hand to cover your lower half, holding you close with his other.

Seungmin lifts his head when he hears a faint knock on his door. He calls out quietly for them to enter. Felix peeks his head inside and smiles before walking inside. He steps over to Seungmin's side of the bed and looks down at you, sleeping peacefully.

"Are you sure you don't love her, Seungmin?" Felix talks softly. Seungmin side-eyes the blonde. "You get all defensive when someone outside our group flirts with her, or when she was dating that one guy last year. You were so mad about that."

"No. I don't love her Felix. At least not more than my best friend. She's free to date who she wants. I was mad because I couldn't fuck her, is all. She's able to handle how rough I can be. That's it." Seungmin huffs. "And I know you guys. Even if any of you date her, you'd still let me fuck her." He shrugs a bit, trying to not wake you.

"I mean, that's true, but it's also just how you treat her too. You treat her so much differently when you're with her, compared to your other relationships." The blonde pushes his hair out of his face. Seungmin looks up at him, irritation showing on his face. Felix puts his hands up in surrender before looking you over as you sleep. He takes a deep breath and sighs, eyes shifting back to Seungmin.

"Just..just let her be happy then, if someone new comes along, yeah?" He ruffles the boy's hair before he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Seungmin watches as Felix leaves before looking down at you. He releases the grip he didn't realize he had on your arm.

'I don't love her. She's just my best friend.' Seungmin rubs his hand up and down your arm, watching you sleep silently. He carefully shifts, moving down his bed so he is fully laying, careful not to wake you. He stares up at his ceiling, the tv quiet in the background, as he lets his thoughts wander.

He thinks about his family, school, past relationships. His thoughts wander to what Felix had said about you. About him loving you. He sighs and rubs his face with his free hand.

"I don't love her..." he whispers to himself, turning over onto his side, pulling you to him carefully. "Do I?"

——

The last class of the day, You, Seungmin and Jeongin were seated in your normal seats. Seungmin looked exhausted, but only told you he couldn't sleep last night. You told him to skip class and try to get some sleep but he declined.

Seungmin leans over to whisper to you. "I have to go see my family again this weekend. So go ahead and get this project started with Jeongin. I'll pick some stuff for your new room while I'm with my family and bring it down Sunday night." You nod and thank him, saying that you'll text or call him over the weekend too.

The rest of the school day passes by with nothing of notice. Jeongin texts you saying he'll be by soon to pick you up to take you to his apartment to start on the project. You text back saying that you've got your bag and stuff from class, and you'll be outside waiting.

Jeongin pulls up in a sleek black car, putting it in park before getting out to go to the passenger side. He smiles his wide smile at you and opens the car door for you.

"You're not going to kidnap me and murder me, are you?" You tease, getting into the car, putting your bag on your lap.

"Murder, no. Kidnap, maybe." He laughs. "Just long enough to at least get this project started. He shuts the door once he's sure you're in, not wanting to shut your fingers in the door. He goes back around and gets in, driving off to his apartment once you're both buckled in.

He parks his car outside his apartment building, and you both get out. He lived in a nice area of the city, not too far from the college either. He brings you inside, and you take the elevator up to his floor, and down the hall to his door. Jeongin lets you inside first, following behind you to shut the door.

You take your shoes off and step inside his apartment, looking around. The apartment had very high ceilings, as his apartment had a loft further in. His living room and kitchen were separated by a kitchen island, a bowl of fruit sat upon the counter. He steps up behind you, placing his hand on your lower back and guides you towards the stairs.

"We are going to work upstairs on the loft. It's where I sleep as well. I hope that's ok?" He watches you, making sure you're comfortable.

"That's perfectly fine with me. I don't mind." You smile up at him.

"Go on up, I'm going to get us some drinks." He smiles back and lets you go up the stairs first. He goes to the kitchen, grabbing two cups and fills them with orange juice, coming up the stairs not long after you. He sees you looking around his loft and just smiles wider.

His bed sat closest to the window, an L-shaped computer desk with two monitors sat in the other corner, right as you come up the stairs, it's there. He has a TV stand at the foot of his bed, a bedside table, and a sizable wardrobe up there.

"Your apartment is so beautiful, Jeongin." You walk over to his bed and feel the soft material of the blanket.

"Thank you. I really liked the loft here, so I chose this apartment." He sets the two cups on his bedside table. He goes around his bed and sits down, patting the other side to invite you to sit. "Sit and let's get started."

You decide on what to do for your project and text Seungmin, asking if he agrees on what you and Jeongin chose. Once you get confirmation, you and Jeongin start doing research on your laptops. After a few minutes, he lays his arm over your shoulders and gently runs his fingers over your neck, sending shivers across your skin. You hear him chuckle softly beside you. Not long after, he moves his hand from your neck down to your thigh, gently caressing your skin with an occasional squeeze.

"Your skin is so soft, Y/n." He says, still looking at his laptop, writing down notes with his other hand. "What do you use?"

"Oh, thank you." You smile. "I use this honey infused shower gel, with the matching body lotion afterwards. I was gifted it originally, but after feeling how soft my skin was after a few uses, I've kept using it.

"Is that why you always smell so sweet?" He looks at you from the corner of his eye, a playful smirk on his lips. Your cheeks actually turn pink at that. No one has complimented you on your scent before.

"I, uh..um.." you stutter, getting flustered. Jeongin laughs, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you flustered. But you do genuinely smell very nice." He chuckles when you cover your face with your hands. "How does food sound?"

"Food sounds nice.." You mumble into your hands. He grins and moves his hand from your thigh to grab one of your hands, gently pulling it from your face.

"What was that, Y/n? I couldn't quite hear you." He leans forward a bit so he can see your face. Your cheeks are still pink from what he could see and he just smiles at you.

"I said food sounds nice." You move the hand on your face to just cover your cheek, trying to cool it down. Jeongin chuckles, interlocking your fingers of the hand he was still holding. You don't pull your hand away, but also don't exactly hold his hand, just letting your hand relax in his. He smiles and pulls up a new tab on his laptop. You both discuss what to get and he places the order.

You continue working on the project until Jeongin gets a notification that the delivery person is here. You offer to go get the food, since they're right at his door. You move your laptop off your legs and get up, pulling your hand from Jeongin's. He gets up as well, going to stand by the banister of the loft as you go down to the main floor of his apartment to answer the door.

You open his door and freeze. The delivery person was your obsessive ex from high school. You dated him for three months before finally breaking it off. He ended up stalking and harassing you through the rest of high school before he finally stopped when you entered your second year of college.

"Y/n? Is that really you?" He grins wide, making your stomach churn. "I can't believe it's really you. Oh my god, I've missed you so much. You're so much more beautiful than I remember."

You don't say anything, trying to not show how nervous you were.

"Do you live here now? By yourself?" He chuckles. "Do you mind if I come in for a bit? My shift is almost done and they won't mind if I'm back a little late." He couldn't see into the apartment much, and didn't see that Jeongin had come down the stairs.

"You ok, babe?" Jeongin wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. "I was wondering what was taking you so long." Your ex looks at Jeongin, getting visibly mad.

"Who's this? You didn't say you were dating anyone. He just some fling to get you filled?" He was pissed now. Jeongin moves you behind him and grabs the bag of food, not breaking eye contact with your ex.

"Don't you ever talk about her like that again." Jeongin says, voice low. "Now, my girlfriend and I are going to enjoy our food, and you're going to go back to your sad existence you call a life. And you better hope I never see you again.

Your ex opens his mouth to say something, but Jeongin just closes the door on him, locking it. He turns to you and sets the bag on the floor. He crouches in front of you so he can look up at your face.

"Are you ok, Y/n?" He asks softly, taking your hands in his. You nod, tears falling from your eyes. Jeongin stands up and pulls you close to him, hugging you tight. "I saw you freeze up and heard what he was saying. I'm sorry if I overstepped, but I didn't like how he was talking to you." He softly rubs your back, trying to soothe you. You wrap your arms around him and cry quietly into his shirt.

He reaches up and gently pets your hair, he starts humming a soft melody, gently rocking your bodies where you stand. After a moment, you finally calm down. You step back a bit and wipe your eyes, Jeongin keeping his hands on your waist though.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin. You didn't have to do that." You look up at him, eyes red from crying.

"You don't need to apologize Y/n. I'm sure even Seungmin would've stepped in." He pulls you back in for another hug, which you reciprocate. "Now, let's eat and relax. We can work more on the project later." You nod as he releases you, flashing you a gentle smile. He grabs the bag and directs you back up the stairs, double checking that his door is locked before heading up himself.

You both eat on his bed, Jeongin had let you put something on his tv for some noise. When you finish, he cleans up and brings you a fresh cup of juice. You thank him and he smiles.

"I hope this doesn't come off as me overstepping, but with Seungmin being gone for the weekend, I don't feel comfortable bringing you back to the flat. That guy could be out there still." He gently grips your knee. "Did.." he sucks air through his teeth. "Did you want to stay here tonight? You can stay in my bed."

"No, I couldn't do that, Jeongin." You shake your head. Jeongin moves his hand from your knee to hold your hand softly.

"Please, Y/n. I insist. At least for tonight. It would make me feel better knowing that you're safe." He gently squeezes your hand. You make a noise of complaint.

"Fine, I relent." You pout. He chuckles, finding you adorable. You two sit and watch the tv for the rest of the night.

[rekino2114]

Hey could I get Lacey with a reader who kisses her (with her permission of course) all over her face while saying praises about them and how much they love her?

I want to see her happy and in a loving relationship so badly now ever since I saw your post

Kissing and comforting lacey

Pairing:lacey x gn reader

Tw(if you've seen lacey, you know):abuse depression,suicidal thoughts,just trauma in general (all of this is implied, and lacey has kind of healed from her childhood)

A/n:God, just writing all of the trigger warnings made me so fucking angry, lacey deserves only the best in this world, sorry it took so long to finally make a post about her and PLEASE keep requesting stuff for her I want to make her feel the love she needs and deserves

Lacey felt like she was trapped. All of the abuse she suffered was just the norm for her, and she knew that despite how desperately she tried, she could never get out. Despite how desperately she wanted to go get ice cream and go shopping and maybe find a partner, she could never, she was trapped here and she couldn't do anything about it.

That was until you came in her life.

You helped her get away from that hell. You gave her the strength to do what she wanted to do for her entire life, and you supported her the whole way through. She genuinely could never thank you enough for what you did for her.

But no matter how much you helped her heal the scars still remained.

She had woken up sweating and panting from another nightmare, she grabbed her cheek and started crying silently, she didn't want to wake you up. Even if you had always told her that she could come to you for whatever reason and especially to talk, she still felt hesitant to do so, she had already told you everything and she thought that she was bothering you by continuing to tell you about her trauma. Just like she was bothering everyone else by living

She continued sobbing until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her and a familiar warmth encompassing her, she didn't flinch as she immediately knew it was you

"Y-y/n!"

"Is everything OK lacey? Were you crying?"

"N-no it's fine"

You sighed and continued hugging her

"Lacey, you know you can tell me everything, I won't force you if you don't want to, but I know you're not ok"

Lacey laid down and hugged you back, facing you and closing her eyes

"........i-it was a nightmare"

".....about your childhood?"

"Y-yeah"

You saw her shiver and got worried

"D-do you mind if I hug you a bit tighter, you look scared'

She simply nodded as you tightened you grip, making sure it was not too tight and still comfortable

"Like I said before, it's fine if you don't wanna talk about it, I know how traumatic it was, but just know I won't let anything happen to you"

Lacey opened her eyes and stared into yours, her own grip tightening

"I love you, and you're perfect. You're beautiful, hardworking, kind, and gentle, I could keep going on forever. It's genuinely incredible how you didn't let your past influence who you are now. A lot of people would be so envious of you for that"

"I-i think a lot of that is because of you.....y-you helped me grow and move past all that-"

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have been able to do that if you weren't this strong, you have no idea how many people would have been powerless to do anything in your situation even with someone like me, you have such a strong will, I am so proud of you....for everything"

The blue haired girl felt a small smile creep up on her face, seeing that you smiled slightly too and touched her cheeks, before quickly pulling back

"O-oh I'm sorry"

"N-no it's fine I don't mind. Your touch....is nice. It makes me feel safe"

Your smile widened as you guided your hand back to her cheek

"Do you mind if I kiss you?"

"......no I don't mind at all, please do it"

You started kissing her face very gently, leaving very soft kisses all over her. She started smiling even brighter and blushed slightly

"You're wonderful lacey, you deserve only the best"

"T-thank you"

"You don't need to thank me, I'm just telling the truth"

"......still, it means a lot"

"And that's why I'm telling you that, cause I want you to know how much you mean to me"

She muttered another thank you and kissed your cheek this time before closing her eyes.

She still felt your lips on her skin and your sweet words in her ears, and they helped her so much. With you, she felt like all of her past, all of the abuse, her uncle, all the other horrible people, it all felt like a distant memory or a bad dream like the one she just had.

All of the crushing expectations people put on her, all of the terrible abuse she went through, all of the times she thought of just ending it all. They were all gone because of you, the ray of sunshine in that permanent thunderstorm that her life used to be.

Sure, she still had nightmares, but she was glad for exactly that, that they were just nightmare now thanks to you.

So she fell asleep rocked by your words and touches, glad that now she was going to have beautiful dreams of your life together.

[monamipencil]

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ my 2024 tumblr wrapped !

i was tagged by @hannieween in her post. this is such a good idea and thanks for tagging me v!

this was one hell of a year lol. and i've also written a lot this year though i lost some passion along the way. but i'm thankful for everyone who reads my work and leaves their thoughts or even just reblogs them. tysm!!

★ most popular and longest fic !

⟢ debauched — 2,472 notes and 4.5k+ words; ofc, it's the step bro fic. as the title suggests, it is absolute debauchery.

★ personal favorite !

⟢ venus in furs — honestly, one of my best works (tho it's pwp), and she deserved better 😔

★ first fic !

⟢ pussy drunk! wonwoo — it's from my prev blog! and also one of my most popular works lol.

★ last fic !

⟢ by his side — this jeonghan drabble i wrote for the secret santa event!

★ best reads !

in front of me — one, two by @wonustars

i fear i'll never read a better wonwoo fic than this. genuinely one of the best fics on this website and it's written by my lovely gf. pls check out her works!!

calendar killer by @miabebe

i love me a good thriller fic. and with joshua? fuck yes. when i tell you, i did not expect that ending at all. it will forever live in my heart. check out this banger by mia for a spooky read!

the curse by @hannieween

nothing more exciting than demon hunter jeonghan and a forbidden love trope. the angst hits in this one and i genuinely love it with all my heart. v also has other amazing works!!

liar, liar ! — one, two by @sanakiras

yes, i know. i read too many thriller fics. but this mingyu fic had me in such a chokehold. i did not expect this ending either and god do i love it so much. check out her works!

getting even by @gyuhao5

this was the catalyst for my seungkwan spiral and the bane of my existence. there are simply not enough seungkwan fics on here and mar rly satiated my need for this man. check it out!

pomegranates by @idyllic-ghost

where do i even begin? man, oh man, i love angst fics and for wonwoo? yes please. the forbidden love element was so good too and i loved the metaphors. this fic is for you if you like wonwoo and historical au.

troublemaker by @whipped-for-kpop-fics

i love gang aus with seungcheol. just 15k of goodness here. i have memorised this fic to the point, i can randomly quote anywhere, everywhere. and i have never laughed so much while reading a fic. chee is one of a kind truly.

heartbreak hotel by @saythenametotheworld

this broke my fucking heart. i read the first three installments and they were so fucking good. the characters had actual depth and were beautifully crafted. i love this so much, check it out!

camp seventeen by @miabebe

my most fav series on this platform. another fic i will quote randomly bcuz it was that good. it's ot13? and the first chapter is named dildo of dionysus? you got me sold. mia is an absolute genius and also evil for this. check out her works if you like greek mythology!

bend and break by @whipped-for-kpop-fics

i apologise for the tags chee but how can i miss out the seungcheol fic. man, sub seungcheol really does it for me. and i just loved their rivalry at the beginning. and i also love chee 😌

lowlifes by @milfgyuu

yes, i love seungcheol gang aus. thanks for asking. this was a banger and my god, the way i blushed and giggled while reading this story. i absolutely loved it!

dark @whipped-for-kpop-fics

i am so sorry for the tags, i just love you ok? now back to chee love train. this fic shocked me in such a way that i couldn't stop thinking about it. this was absolutely genius and i love monster fics. when i tell you, chee is one of the best writers in caratblr.

withering for you by @joonsytip

the bane of my existence. i started annotating because of this fic. enemies to lovers with cheol is my fav. and the way i randomly remember "welcome to hell, my wife" and start giggling is out of my control. sam should do control damage for this fic.

couple's therapy by @muntitled

this got me tweaking and twirling my hair. im a whore for lee jihoon through and through. mean dom! jihoon will be death of me. i read it on my prev blog and haven't stopped thinking about this since.

summary !

my most recurring members were — seungcheol (13 works), mingyu (13 works) and wonwoo (11 works) !

total works posted — 78 !

total words written — 82,476 !

i'm honestly surprised by this lol. and ofc, i wrote the most for these three. and im rly excited to post just as much next year and compare my progress! and we'll be starting off strong next year with when strawberries bloom. i hope you guys look forward to it! again, i'd like to thank everyone who has supported me throughout this year. i love you all <33

tags !

@vitaminkyeom @miabebe @wonustars @tomodachiii @shinysobi

@whipped-for-kpop-fics (im so sorry for the multiple tags hdbcfkharbik) @cxffecoupx @c-oupsie

[sarastellasari]

New Years Kiss (Part Three)

part one, part two!

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“We have a problem! I repeat, we have a problem.” Xander whispered frantically over his phone to Nash. 

“They are headed back to the party! They broke the window!” There was a moment's pause on the other end before Nash said,

“I’m sorry what?” 

“They broke the window and climbed out,” Xander repeated. They’re walking towards you now.” 

“Grayson broke the window?” 

“Well Lyra did but-“ 

“So what do we do now?” Jameson interrupted. It sounded like he had grabbed Nash’s phone from him. 

“That obviously didn’t work.” Xander shrugged, before realizing neither of his brothers could see him.

“I can’t believe we didn't think of the windows.” Jameson sighed. 

“It's an easy mistake,” Nash comforted him. 

“I guess, but what do we do now?”

“Well,” Xander began, laughing nervously. “Grayson is obviously going to be super mad so-” Nash suddenly swore on the other end. 

“Xan, he's coming this way. Text us, ok? We gotta go.” and then Nash hung up. Xander got up and started to pace. What can we do? He thought, running his hands through his hair. Eventually, he shook his head in annoyance. He knew what they had to do. He pulled out his phone and texted his brothers;

I think we need to let Grayson handle this by himself.

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Lyra wasn’t sure if she regretted coming to the party or not. She had been having fun, right up until she had been locked in a room with Grayson. But she had to admit.., part of her was curious as to what would happen if she had stayed in the room instead of breaking the window.

What could his brothers have wanted us to do? She wondered. Surely it couldn’t be that bad? But soon, she forgot all about the events in the library. Avery announced over the loudspeakers that it was time for “whole group activities”. Instructed everyone to come to the center of the courtyard. Lyra ended up between Thea, who seemed startled at her presence, and an extremely cheerful girl, who introduced herself as Avery’s best friend, Max.

“The first game!” Avery shouted, “Is Hawthorne hide- and seek.” There were equally cheers and groans from the audience. Lyra frowned in confusion, but luckily, Avery explained the rules. 

“We’re doing this in dresses?” She asked Max, bewildered. Max grinned. “Yep!” 

And so the game began.

At some point, Lyra found herself hiding with Grayson behind a statue, the two of them pressed against each other, breathless with laughter. Lyra tried to tell herself she was just flushed from the cold and not from her proximity to her.

The night went on and on, with them playing many games, until eventually it was 11:45, and Avery had declared that people could do whatever they wanted to prepare for the countdown. Lyra found herself beside Grayson again, seated on some chairs by some crumbling Roman statue of some emperor with a party hat on. 

“Well.” Lyra sighed. “Are you excited for the new year?” Grayson shrugged. 

“I suppose. You?” Lyra nodded.  “What did you think of the party?” 

“It was great! Aside from the whole being locked in a room thing.” Grayson nodded. Suddenly, he swallowed before leaning forward.

“Have you ever had A New Year's kiss, Lyra?” Lyras flushed, wondering what the random subject change was about. “Sorry, what?” 

“Have you ever had a New Year's kiss?” Grayson repeated. Lyra shook her head. Grayson nodded, seemingly accepting her answer. 

“Do you want to?” Lyra’s eyes widened at his forwardness. 

“What?” Grayson sighed.

“I guess… My brothers have been trying to get me to find someone to kiss tonight. I said i didnt want to, but… a part of me is curious.” Lyra hesitated, before shrugging. 

“Sure.” “Really?” “Yeah, why not? I want to know what it feels like too, I guess.” Grayson nodded, opening his mouth, but before he could say anything else, Avery's voice boomed over the loudspeakers.   

“Ok, guys! Thirty seconds! I hope you all have your kissing partners!” Lyra smirked at Grayson.

“We should stand.” She whispered. “Makes it more romantic.  Grayson nodded. They stood.

“Ten!” Avery shouted. Grayson took in a deep breath.

“Nine!” Lyra took a deep breath.

“Eight!” Grayson moved closer

“Seven!” Lyra ignored every thought in her telling her that she was betraying her father. A Hawthorne did this. But maybe she could leave that all in the past. New Year, new beginnings, right?

“Six!” Grayson's hands carefully went to her waist.

“Five!” Lyra grabbed his shoulders.

“Four!” Their body’s we’re almost pressed against each other

“Three!” Lyra stared at those icy blue eyes, trying to decipher the thoughts inside of them.

“Two!” Their lips were almost touching.

“One!” They kissed.

“Happy New Year!” Fireworks went off, both literal and metaphorical. It was everything Lyra wanted and more. It started soft and gentle, Grayson gently pressing his lips to hers, until Lyra got bored. It was New Year after all, and she wanted to have fun. She didn't care if it was improper for a first kiss. She surged forward, running her tongue along the seam of her lips, asking for permission to enter his mouth. He let her, their tongues fighting for dominance. Lyra stood on her toes to get a better angle, their noses brushing. They were both panting. It was more intense than anything else Lyra had ever felt. Finally, they both had to come up for air.

“That was- wow,” Lyra said at last. Grayson nodded in agreement, swallowing.

“Would you… want to do that again?” He asked hesitantly.

Lyra pulled him back in instead of responding.

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Part one, part two!

[cherrylight]

i have so many things i want to do on here!! oh my goddddd!!! i want to be unapologetically me! i just get so nervous and i fear like im being too much on here !!!!!

like!!! i want to post silly incorrect quote stuff on here :( and talk about my selfships and silly fandoms i love .... and my silly self insert that makes me so happy ... and post MORE AND MORE AND MORE BUT IM SO NERVOUSSSSSSSSS

it makes no sense !!!!! i mean i guess it does..... having someone who kind of puts you down all the time for the things you share with them makes you terrified to do literally anything and thats actually sooooooooo frustrating.......... wahhhhh

besides ........ i really wanna do something for my birthday blargh!! >_<

[fisherrprince]

Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[callixton]

i think the thing to understand abt martha jones is that even after she leaves she is five seconds away from dropping everything and traveling with the doctor at any given time. bc that itch to blow everything up and damn her personal duty to hell in search of a higher call never leaves her. but martha is smart. and rational. and has spent a long fucking time needing to keep herself safe. (bc he comes when she calls but never before.) and so she has gotten very good at keeping herself on the right side of those five seconds. but i do think if ten was a different person (if he could acknowledge how much he needed her instead of just how much he liked her) (if he didn’t feel this righteous martyrdom when it comes to being left alone) (if he cared enough about her to beg. if he cared enough about himself.) i think that her answer no would come crumbling down pretty quickly is all.

[shitouttabuck]

what if i wrote a twisters au……….

[himbohimhoe]

Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

[theprincessandthepie]

replaying dragon age inquisition is just an exercise in “the rebel mages would not fucking do that”

[lautity]

omg how did you guess i think about her.....steps in front of username to cover it. ignore that

edit from after this was written: i am so sorry. i am so so so sorry for this. it's like a whole fic i have no one else to say this to bc no onecares about them HAJKDSAHKSJHD i am . shaking. so sorry. omg. don't hate me

anyway you are so correct ARHJHKS pathetic autistic lesbian who grew up alienated from her peers bc she was "weird" and ppl didn't wanna be friends with her....until zoey came along and actually tolerated her (used her) and turned her into a dog basically.

she'd do anything for zoey....anything..........they are so homoerotic codependent friendship coded. zoey is MOST DEFINITELY in love with hailey but in like a very unhealthy "my feelings for you make me look weak so i need to make you weak by treating you like this" (plus zoey is just a bitch to everyone in general)

and hailey just takes it. bc she admires zoey so much. like she canonically sees her as a mentor. even though they're likely the same age. and yes yes she is in love with zoey because who wouldn't be. who wouldn't fucking fall for the only person who ever like. talked to her. who sings so well and acts so well and controls every room she enters. who has the power over people hailey could only dream to have one day......and also she's SO hot

NOW. THOUGH. it is canon that they have a third roommate. what if i told you it was greenpeace girl herself - harmony jones. (not canon. not even hinted at)

i just think. harmony is soo passionate about the environment. passionate in general. also autistic. good at masking though. but takes no shit. she's the first person zoey can't manipulate or degrade and it SUCKS. she's like 5'10 to me and basically towers over zoey of she's wearing her huge thrifted black boots. and it makes her so flustered and SO angry

and like. it is pretty funny to intimidate hatchetfield's favorite knockoff regina george. zoey passes her in the hallway and actually has to look up to meet harmony's dumb stupid sparkly gorgeous eyes......and harmony just smirks.........and zoey like. regains her composure. tears her eyes away and hisses "get out of my way" and practically sprints to her room. slams the door. and harmony calls after her "sorry princess" and zoey is so angry and flustered she bites a pillow not to scream

hailey and harmony are soo special too. harmony sees hailey, because she's willing to. she likes listening to her ramble. she likes seeing her happy & not constantly hiding herself in fear of being abandoned again. she is soooo down bad for hailey she'd do anything for her.

sounds like a pretty weird roommate dynamic right. WRONG. polyamory beam.

hailey looks at harmony like she carries the stars in her eyes. harmony looks at her the same. zoey is added into this and feels a little out of place. for the FIRST TIME in her life, zoey chambers feels out of place.

hailey and harmony make a huge effort though. because they are also still very much down bad for this bitch.

harmony just has like.....zoey on a leash. a mean lesbian with an even meaner lesbian on a leash. zoey eventually leans into it. her new role of being harmony's pretty princess........

she starts being less cruel to hailey. she's still like a bitch, that's just in her nature, but there's sweetness to it.....she makes an effort to learn stuff about hailey. hobbies and favorite musicals and all that. she learns that hailey can actually be kinda sorta cool (in a lame way) if she's not constantly biting her tongue.

staring at you really hard like a cat. they (you) could never make me hate you zazz haileydilmore.

i am actually really obsessed with 'in love with her, but not as an equal'. princess and handmaid coded. fondness but its buried under so much scorn. you Could tell her. and it'd probably make her more devoted. but she'd already do anything for you, so why give her that leverage?

there's this specific feeling some people (especially like. popular hot girls. lol) give you where they make you feel important. like. just by being around you, by deeming you worth their time, they're calling you special. even if they aren't actually being nice to you. unspoken affection of letting you stay close to them. it's like a really fun addictive feeling and i think hailey is always chasing that from zoey

harmony teaching hailey that she deserves so so much better than how zoey treats her.......i don't think that would be immediate but it would be like. a slow build-up of being less and less comfortable w/ zoey's demands before she finally flat-out refuses to do something. probably with a "you aren't even nice to me, zoey. I don't think you ever have been."

i think....zoey hates seeing harmony and hailey happy together at all it makes her So Mad because she had hailey first. and she's been stolen. by what? being kind??

the Entire Time zoey is ruminating on this harmony and hailey are both trying to kind of invite her in and be like hey we arent mad at you we should probably all talk (The Polyamory Talk™. zoey does not know this i dont think). but zoey is both upset/jealous and maybe a little tiny bit worried that she'll fuck up whatever they have. because she does maybe feel the littlest bit bad about hurting hailey. a little bit. because there is actually something nice about this happier, more confident, more assertive hailey. maybe she feels a miniscule amount of guilt that she was the reason she was miserable for so long.

they do finally ask her out and shes so out of her element waugh......because yeah harmony has her whipped.

+ ur so right zoey is never nice, persay, but harmony definitely dulls some of her edges and she's a lot more able to say things with affection rather than spite. and harmony's reign ushers in clear communication (or else), so when zoey has issues with hailey there is no more passive-aggressive comments that leave her spiralling

ugh i think zoey wld still snap at hailey sometimes and harmony always mediates.....theres something kind of fun about hamony being a protector. maybe zoey feels a little left out sometimes because of this, like she's the third or the spare or the least wanted. not a feeling shes used to! of course they reassure her that this is not true. but maybe she makes a bit more of an effort with her temper, anyways. you understand

[crescentfool]

i love ryomina

no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.

it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.

ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.

minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.

the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.

minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.

it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.

november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.

it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.

how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.

ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.

he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.

SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.

and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!

so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.

messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!

even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.

march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.

and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.

p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.

ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!!  god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!

i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙

[noctlas332]

day 15 except i got busy with school and wasnt able to draw and had to get caught up so i drew it way later but i got caugh tup so whatever,,,