#ok sorry everyone i just needed to get this OUT
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hiii today is my birthday! i looove your work so i would like to make a request....
maybe tfatws!bucky and politician!reader where she is a senator trying to help people after the blip but karli got her as a hostage with other politician (just as the last ep) maybe angst and fluff? thank you!
💗💗💗
Safe and Sound » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Politician!Female Reader
Summary: You get held hostage by Karli and Bucky saves you.
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, language, held hostage, pet names
A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵 let me start off by saying, happy late late late birthday and my apologies for getting to your request so late🩷
Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.
Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier
GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.
“I think we should-” You got interrupted before you could finish your sentence.
“No.” The senator said.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” You say.
“Whatever it is, the answer is still no.” He says.
You sighed and rolled your eyes, leaning back in your chair.
Every idea or suggestion you bring up immediately gets shot down by the senator. All you’re trying to do is help people who were in the blip and he doesn’t like anything you come up with.
After the meeting, you were looking down at your phone and walking to your car when you bumped into someone and dropped your things.
“I’m so sorry!” You apologized. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.” You say, crouching down to pick up your things.
“It’s ok.” The man smiles and picked up your bag. “Sounds like you had a rough day today.” He says, helping you pick up your things.
“Rough doesn’t even begin to describe it.” You say.
The man gathered your things and handed them to you and stood up. You walked to your car with him following behind you. You put your things in your car before turning around to face him.
“I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You held out your hand for him to shake.
“Sergeant James Barnes. Everyone I know calls me Bucky.” Bucky shook your hand. “I think I’ve heard your name before. Are you a politician?” He asks.
“Yes I am.” You answered with a smile.
“That’s why I recognized your name. I’ve seen you on the news a few times.” He said. “If it means anything, I think what you’re doing for the people who were in the blip is amazing.” He says.
“At least, you understand it. I can’t get the senator to understand it.” You say.
“Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s an idiot for not understanding your work.” He says.
You couldn’t help but laugh when Bucky said that. He’s not wrong.
“Do you want to get a drink?” Bucky asks.
“I’m going to have to take a rain check on that. I have a lot of work to do.” You say.
“That’s ok. I understand.” He says understandingly.
“Here’s my number if you want to call, text, or hangout.” You say, handing him your card.
“Will do, doll.” He says with a wink.
You give him a smile before he walked away. You got in your car and leaned your head against the headrest of the seat, sighing loudly. You just want to go home and put tonight’s meeting behind you.
The next morning, you gathered your things for work and left your house. You were going to attempt to tell the senator your idea again. You already know he’s going to shoot it down again, but it’s worth another try. First, you need coffee. You went to a nearby coffee shop before going into work. Once again, you were looking down at your phone and accidentally bumped into someone. You didn’t drop anything this time at least.
“I am so sorry!” You apologized. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.” You say.
“I’m beginning to think you’re bumping into me on purpose, doll.” Bucky says jokingly.
You smiled when you heard his voice. You looked up at him to see him smiling at you.
“I can say the same thing about you, Sergeant Barnes.” You joked.
Bucky chuckles at your joke and opened the door to the coffee shop for you.
“What a gentleman.” You smiled at him.
“I always am.” He says sweetly.
Bucky followed in behind you.
“What are you getting?” Bucky asks. “My treat.” He says, taking his wallet out of his pocket.
“You don’t have to pay for my coffee.” You say.
“I want to. Also, I insist.” He says.
“Well, if you insist.” You giggled.
You ordered your coffee and so did Bucky.
“I have a feeling we’re going to see more of each other.” You say as you and Bucky walked out of the coffee shop.
“I would absolutely love that.” He smiles.
“As much as I want to stay here and talk to you, I have to go to work to convince the senator my idea is the best way to help the people who were in the blip.” You say.
“Don’t let me keep you from doing that then. Good luck. I hope it goes the way you want it to.” He says.
“I hope so too.” You say.
You gave Bucky a smile before walking away. Bucky watched you walk away with a smile on his face. Then he went on about his day and met up with Sam.
“I just think it’s best to help the people who were in the blip.” You say.
“You don’t know what’s best for them.” The senator says.
“I can’t imagine what they went through during those 5 years, but this could be helpful to them.” You say.
“This discussion is over. Let’s move on.” He says.
You opened your mouth to argue back, but an alarm went off and a red light turned on. Everyone in the room, looked around with confused looks on their faces. Everyone was ushered out of the room and the building. Everyone was told to go outside of the building.
You then noticed someone wearing a mask with a red hand print on it. You already knew that meant it wasn’t good. So you tried to sneak away. You thought you were in the clear till someone grabbed your arm, making you stop in your tracks. You turned your head to see the person wearing the mask with the hand print on it.
“You’re not going anywhere.” Karli says.
You whimpered when her grip on your arm tightened. Karli pulled you towards a police vehicle, almost making you trip over your own feet. She shoved you in the vehicle and stared you down for a second before closing the doors and putting a lock on it. You shifted yourself in the seat and leaned your head back against the side of the vehicle.
“Was this part of your plan?” The senator asks you. “To get us held hostage?” He says.
“No.” You answered honestly, lifting your head to look at him. “I don’t even know what’s going on.” You say.
“Yea, right.” He said.
You scoffed at him and looked out the window of the vehicle. After a little bit, there was a noise that sounded like an explosion. Your eyes went wide when you seen a fire outside of the vehicle.
“Fire.” You whispered. “Fire!” You finally say louder.
The senator and everyone else in the vehicle looked out the window to see the fire. Everyone, including you, began freaking out. You started pushing and pounding on the door to get it to open, but it was no use due to the lock that was put on it to trap you, the senator, and a few other people inside of the vehicle.
That’s when you seen a familiar face running towards the vehicle. It didn’t take you long to realize it was Bucky. You frantically tapped on the window to get his attention. Bucky heard the frantic tapping and seen you.
“I’m going to get you guys out. Just hold on, ok?” Bucky says loudly so you could hear him.
You nodded your head. Bucky’s vibranium hand gripped the handle and he pulled on it, using all of his strength. He looked at the door, seeing the lock. His vibranium fist punched the lock to break it. Then he tried opening the door again. After having to use force to get it open, it opened up. Everyone got out of the vehicle quickly.
“Thank you, sir!” The senator says, shaking Bucky’s hand.
Bucky nodded and turned his attention to you. He helped you out of the vehicle. You immediately wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you too, holding you close to you.
“You’re ok.” He coos softly. “You’re safe and sound now.” He whispers. “Let’s get you somewhere safe.” He says.
You nodded against his chest. Bucky picked you up bridal style and carried you somewhere safe. He gently sat you down on a bench and sat down next to you.
“Are you hurt?” Bucky asks, checking you for injuries.
“No. I’m just shaken up is all.” You say.
“You’ll be fine. Just sit here and take a moment to yourself.” He says softly.
“I know you’re working, but can you stay with me?” You asked. “I don’t want to be alone.” You say.
“Of course, doll.” He smiles.
You and Bucky maneuvered yourselves so you two were facing each other. While you two were sitting there, the senator approached you.
“Y/L/N, I owe you an apology.” The senator said.
You looked at him, waiting for his apology. Bucky looked at him too.
“I shouldn’t have accused you of being part of this.” He starts.
“You accused her of this?” Bucky asks him. “She had nothing to do with this. You just wanted to play the blame game.” He said.
“Yes I did and I’m sorry for that.” He apologizes. “If it’s ok with you, you can present your idea again if you want.” He says.
“I would like that.” You say, giving him a smile.
The senator held his hand out for you to shake, which you did.
“Also, if you want to take some time off, you can. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He said.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You replied.
He nodded and walked away.
After thinking about it, you decided to take some time off. After getting your idea to help people who were in the blip up and running, you decided to take a vacation. Then there was a knock at the door. You got up from your spot on the couch to answer the door. You smiled when you opened the door. You stepped aside to let him come inside.
“Hi Bucky!” You smile widely and hugged him. “What brings you by?” You asked.
“I wanted to see how you were doing, especially after that incident with Karli.” Bucky says.
You smiled, loving that he’s so caring.
“I’m doing better than I was that day.” You tell him.
“That’s good.” He replies. “You look better too.” He says.
You couldn’t help but smile at his sweet words.
“If it’s ok with you, I’d like to accept your offer on that drink if it’s still open.” You say.
“That offer will always be open for you, doll.” He smiles.
“Good.” You grabbed your purse and phone. “I neat a drink or two after what I’ve been through.” You say.
“I’m with you on that, doll face.” He chuckles, following you out the door.
You looked at Bucky with a smile on your face.
“What’s with the smile, doll?” Bucky asks curiously.
“We’re going to be great friends.” You say.
“I hope so.” He smiles and wraps his arm around your shoulders. “I did I save you and check up on you.” He says.
“My knight and shining armor.” You grinned up at him, playfully batting your eyelashes.
“You know it, babydoll.” He said before kissing the top of your head.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
#sergeant james buchanan barnes#sergeant james barnes#sergeant barnes#james buchanan bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james barnes#bucky barnes#winter soldier#tfatws!bucky barnes#tfatws!bucky#sebastian stan#sebby stan#seb stan#sebastian stan characters#avengers#marvel#mcu#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes imagine#politician!reader
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https://www.tumblr.com/chasedeys/767908190114447360/httpswwwtumblrcomchasedeys767907676016476160
Jesus Christ he pulled up on Joe ???! I need this devotion
he did 😔😔🤚🤚🤚
the Lakers Date in gifset form and in video form like look at joe staring at ja'marr like that and giggling and shit oh my god joe ja'marr is sure as hell funnier than you but really? ja'marr putting his arms around joe which is just. yeah. look at that little scratch and then actually reaching his arms out and then just saying something short and random 😭 you know. casual. and joe barely reacting to it ok whatever. oh and also there's this hilarious twitter thread in reaction to it lmao.
this is the wowing backstory (everyone say thank you to carmen's big brain!!) to the date and kind of why this felt like a psychological attack beyond the implication that this was A Basketball Date. basically ja'marr flew his ass to arizona for joe because the man was having the shittiest week and was sooooo weirdly messy about it because he posted a vague blurry ass insta story of his location and then deleted it (?????) god what is wrong with him. like the photo was obviously a quick little snap of him in a car with just a location posted in the middle of the night like it didn't matter what the pic was only the location and was posted the minute he arrived (?) like he was announcing where he was for a very specific reason and then deleted it like it served its purpose and he didn't need it anymore. (is that not basic teenager in love 101........)
on joe being miserable -> like joe went to a club and flipped people off and i think one of the events he had was the signing with obj and kd (beloved kevin durant <3 but its sooo random why the fuck was kd there im so confused as to what this event was) and joe's expressions throughout all the videos and photos were either flat as fuck or straight up not-enjoying-shit. the next time he gets snapped in public it's with ja'marr on a basketball court with matching outfits finally smiling and laughing right and doing silly shit like clapping all up against ja'marr's face like a besotted dork......mind you he clapped because ja'marr was on camera probably getting introduced to the stadium so everyone could technically see it so it was like he was teasing the ever living shit out of ja'marr who was trying to be all cool throwing peace signs only to get stunted on by his embarrassing ass man who just wouldn't let him live jesus i'm sorry but i'm genuinely wondering why he clapped that way. look at his impish little smile joe oh my god stop.
but he was really finally acting all goofy and silly and smiling and laughing genuinely when ja'marr showed up and yapped at him!!!!!!! insane. shining example of devotion and codependency tbh.
some Speculation! which i love to do unfortunately for everyone around me:
this was planned from the start way before joe went through apparent hell or something. they bought the tickets way back with dj and sam and this was like the only thing joe looked forward to which is why he was finally smiling and laughing and actually managed to get through the week.
from that event they had together kd gave tickets to obj (pretty sure he was also there but like on the opposite side of the court?? idk) and joe and joe requested/bought more tickets and invited ja'marr and sam and dj because he was in heavy need of Friendship Love Moral Support from his guys. yeah.
(the favorite. the full of love theory) ja'marr found out joe was Going Through It (from joe himself? from obj? from his manager? the internet? other friends? who knows) and flew his ass to arizona having bought the plane ticket within minutes of ending the call/text regarding the joe situation. knew joe needed some refreshing/healing so he searched up what arizona had going on for them that week or he was planning on watching the game from his home anyway idk and immediately bought court-side tickets for the game. invited dj and sam so joe would be surrounded by more close friends who he would feel comforted by. arrived in phoenix in the middle of the night, snapped a quick photo for ig announcing where he was, joe saw it and sent ???????? in reply, ja'marr then deletes the ig story bc he doesn't want anyone else asking shit too, and finally crashed joe's pity party and has him smiling within minutes. am i crazy. yes. am i free. also yes.
THE CLOTHES THING they're literally wearing yellow and purple -> lakers and coincidentally lsu's colors!!! technically suns' too i think. did they plan on matching or did they each plan on wearing lakers colors in the first place (these divas...) and just had that one-brain-ism thing they got going on. ja'marr was sooooo pretty btw 😭😭 his faceeeee the dimple the hairrrr i miss his cornrows he looks sooo good in bright mustard yellow toooooo somebody save me from myself.
OH and dj reader and sam were there too okay 😭 like they weren't there alone. that la lunch date was like this lakers date 2.0 bc they weren't alone damn it but it weirdly seems that way 😭 when you're in love etc. or maybe because they just weren't mentioned as much as these two :( but I'm really pleased that joe could smile surrounded by his teammates <3 joy etc.
okay bye 😭
#ask#this could've been under 50 words sorry#this and the fact that its referred to as the lakers date instead of the suns date made me think ja'marr was a lakers fan btw#or at least a lebron truther but apparently......it was for joe.........okay...............#like is /joe/ a lakers fan or did they just choose the nearest nba event#so fascinating how sports players enjoy nba games for dates and get introduced to the entire stadium in the process btw#how many Events have they had#'Lakers Date' 'Clothes Saga' 'Game Worn Jersey' 'Natty Championship Ball' 'KC Game Shove' 'Pinky Shakes' idk am i reaching#god i truly wished i got to experience the entire events leading up to the date and the date itself#i fear if i was there i would break the post limit#joemarr#joe burrow#ja'marr chase#...#joemarr meta#i think#also please don't ask how i managed to link all of these#also also i searched up the price for courtside tickets and just about died. why. why the fuck. and its a lakers suns game so.
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Wow, I didn't think that post would get me even more hate to be honest 😅
First of all, I wasn't talking about ALL Carlos fans but about some "fans" (you can't call them like that, not after the really harsh words I received) who came into my asks when i asked nothing: I never was mean about Carlos, i didn't even defend Charles. I only posted 2-3 things related to this Charlos gate or whatever the fandom is calling it.
Here are some of the posts in questions:
After the first one, I received insults (anons and non anons, I don't know what is worst, that's what I was talking about them being younger and not knowing how the Schumi era and baby Shumi era were, (the non-anos were 17-18) because people misunderstood it (or understood what they wanted to understand).
After one or two more posts after the end of the race, it escalated very quickly, I received death threats! That's very serious! How can it come to this for a FUCKING sport? There are more serious things in life!
So, yeah, I was quite pissed after that.
Also, I didn't even defend Charles in my post, rereading now and I undertand I may have sound like I did but I'm French and I may have translated word by word what i wanted to say (it's a bit complicated but we sometimes use "you" to talk about people + ourserlves in some sketchy expressions). Anyway, what he said was definitely inappropriate and very "childish" in a way. Those words should had been spoken in private with his team and Carlos, not in front of million of people; and I think if FIA penalised swear words, they should start looking at those kind of statements.
Also, for those saying that I would be the kind of person to insult their favorite driver(s), you don't know me, you can even check my blog if you have nothing more interesting to do (lol), I never insulted anyone like some people do in f1blr. We can dislike or even hate a driver with our whole being, that's ok, for each their own I guess. We can't love everyone, you have the right to defend your favs, that's our choice too, but don't go and roast people when they didn't even say something wrong in the first place. (again, i hope those anons are reading it)
I never got haters before today (just one a few months ago with tennisblr but it was more a troll more than anything else) I usually don't interract a lot because I don't like conflicts but receiving multiple insults for something I can't control: I'm not Charles, I can't control what he says, I'm not a Carlos hater neither, i'm just here, blogging and reblogging stuff I love, mostly sports, sometimes with my particular sense of humor.
Nobody is perfect for sure, and I'm sorry if some of you thought I was just calling out Carlos or defending Charles. He may be one of my favourite drivers, just like other drivers can be yours: all of them are not flawless and we may continue to like them or not after different sorts of situations, that's up to us.
To finally finish my thesis (sorry if you're still reading), I didn't know that I would be so stressed on tumblr one day (call me a sensitive person) but this website is my sanctuary, I hope it will stay like that for a very long time but you can't be appreciated by the whole world, I lost some of my mutuals and i accept that. This morning's messages went too far and that's not normal to say thing like that, no matter how peacecul I am, I had to call them out. Also, on my other fandoms, you can share thought without (or almost) getting attacked verbally, that's sad that it's not the same anymore here, but yeah, football is the same.
You can choose to answer or not, I won't block anyone because I don't feel the need to, opinions can be shared but respectfully, I would be happy to talk more if some of you are up to.
So, I don't know what to add, have a great end of the season, everyone!
i don't know if everyone who reblogged or commented can see it when I reblog it so i'm tagging y'all: @midesastremanifiesto , @janesurlife , @gaypoetsblog , @katarf1a , @chaitalinath , @danieldrivesfast , @landhoe-norris , @eightsixtiism
One thing is funny about being insulted by all those Carlos "fans" (won't call them real fans tbh he deserves way better than toxic people): I was already watching F1 that they were not born, if you think that Charles was shitty today, just remember we had Michael Schumacher as the most dramatic queen ever and Sebastian Vettel was a little Gremlin at some points. REAL FANS WERE NOT FIGHTING FOR THAT!
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Howdy Eerna frequent reader, first time asker here.
I have weathered so many bad finales in my life and yet Arcane has me completely debauched. As a rule I dont comment on fandom things unless they bring me joy, but this season has me out here stopping myself from breaking into peoples posts with rants.
Most of my feelings have been better said already, however I haven't seen people talking about how the fights are actually ass in the last arc. Literally the shows bread and butter is soured by the lack of stakes.
The first arc had the Jinx/Sevika team up, the second at least the shock of Warwick's prison break in. The finale's battles are so lack luster i cant remember any of their beats. Well except for Jayce/Viktor photobombing the family reunion. I showed that to my partner without context and it only made me realize it isnt any better with it.
Things dont flow, they lack logical consistency. Cait get stabbed with Ambessa's lil fist knife and then does a whole fight fine. However that same knife I guess is infused with anti-Ambessa magic cause it kills her (I actually cannot remember if that's what happened, I was so bored and I refuse to check).
Even Ekkos last charge was interesting for a moment due to finally using the time powers but it didnt really feel like... anything. Like he gave Jayce mental time with Viktor but, like how would he know that was what would happen??? Jayce looked super duper out of it and if the mindmeld was the plan all along then why did our hammer man wait till the top of the tower and how Ekko even know that cause he was with Jinx and aajhhhh
I need to not think about this show any more help 😭
Hello hello welcome~ So sorry you got so wrecked by this finale :((( I feel you though, it is on my MIND and it needs to be PURGED OUT!!!
It is a different type of fights for sure, focused more on Big War rather than anything else... I liked them (except the Ambessa-Cait-Mel one, you're so right, what was that) but I can totally understand why someone wouldn't. I just really like final wars. But yeah the Ekko final blow didn't really make a lot of sense, I was just cheering because my boy was gonna be the hero (and then everyone ignored him WOW OK). I too prefer not to think about it. Let us all not think about it!!!
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Always (By your side) - JJ Maybank X Reader
Request here
From the moment JJ was stabbed, you had been by his side. You were there when John B and pope helped drag him to the hospital, and you were there as the doctors rushed by his side. He needed an emergency surgery, and you sat right outside the door the entire time, hours passed. The pogues were just as stressed as you were, but despite Sarah and Kie's effort to get you to eat something or rest, you insisted on staying there. You had to know that JJ would be okay. You couldn't eat or sleep until you knew he was.
Finally, after hours of surgery and doctors prepping a small room for him, you were able to see him. He was covered in dirt from the sand storm, The doctors had his abdomen bandaged and he was hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV of fluids. You sat in the only chair in the room, right by his side once again.
Everyone was hell bent on revenge, and the pogues had gotten a hostel room to stay in. You had fallen asleep next to JJ, the doctors said he would wake up any minute and begin his recovery but you didn't want to miss it. Even when the others offered to look after him in shifts so that he wasn't alone when he woke up, you declined and stayed with him anyway. You appreciated the company and reassurance of your friends though. It was sweet. As you lay with your arms folded on the side of his bed and your head turned towards him, your chest rising and falling softly.
Because of your exhaustion, you were fast asleep when JJ woke up. He groaned softly and put his hand on yours, pulling you out of a light sleep. you gasped and pushed your chair closer to him. "Hi." he smiles weakly, his hair is a mess and his eyes are hazy, probably from the pain medicine. "Jayj," you say softly, holding his hand. "Fuck that hurts," he grit his teeth and winced. "Take it easy," you encouraged. "You really scared me." you admit softly, tears flowing from your eyes as if on cue. you sob softly, wiping your tears away. "Hey, you couldn't get rid of me that easily." he jokes. you smile softly, holding his hand to your face.
"How do you feel?" you ask him gently. "Like I just took a shit ton of morphine." He says he can't laugh without pain, so he chuckles as gently as he is able. "I'm sorry. Just lay back and rest." you ordered. "I'll let the others know." he holds your hand, you are unable to move he tightens his grip. "Hey," he says, his voice is hoarse and tired. "I love you." he says. you smile again. "I love you, J." you say, leaning down to kiss his forehead softly before stepping outside the room to let the others know he is awake and that he's ok.
John B is the first to rush in there, and then kie followed by pope. Cleo and Sarah stay with you for a moment in the waiting room. "Hey, Y/N." Sarah says gently. "Why don't you go back to the hostel, you must be exhausted." she urges. Cleo nodded in agreement, "We need ya to stay strong." Cleo adds. "JJ would want you happy n' healthy." you bit your lip and then nodded. they were right. you hadn't left JJ's side in days, and he was going to be okay. The doctors said so, you just wanted to be there when he woke up to make sure he was actually okay. "Yeah you're right." you admit, defeated. you knew they understood, and if it were John B Sarah would be in the same boat. they were understanding and kind to you. The love of your life was stabbed by his father, it wasn't exactly a happy feeling, it was traumatic. But you were happy you weren't going through it all alone.
"Hey, where's Rafe?" you asked before walking off. He was sort of new to the group so it was no wonder you wanted to know where he was. Sarah sighed. "He has a plan for revenge. He's out piecing things together." she said.
It was interesting, but you wanted revenge. If you ever saw Chandler Groff again you would take revenge on him for nearly killing the love of your life.
#jj obx imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj outer banks#jj maybank#jj x reader#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x you#jj mayback imagine#jj mayback x reader#outerbanks#outer banks#JJ#jj maybank imagine#JJ obx#obx jj#Request#requests
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i have so many things i want to do on here!! oh my goddddd!!! i want to be unapologetically me! i just get so nervous and i fear like im being too much on here !!!!!
like!!! i want to post silly incorrect quote stuff on here :( and talk about my selfships and silly fandoms i love .... and my silly self insert that makes me so happy ... and post MORE AND MORE AND MORE BUT IM SO NERVOUSSSSSSSSS
it makes no sense !!!!! i mean i guess it does..... having someone who kind of puts you down all the time for the things you share with them makes you terrified to do literally anything and thats actually sooooooooo frustrating.......... wahhhhh
besides ........ i really wanna do something for my birthday blargh!! >_<
#ok sorry everyone i just needed to get this OUT#im no longer friends with that person which is good! but they still are THERE haunting my thoughts all the time#i dont like venting about the SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN I REALLY DONT#but this time i dont think i can just Not#like i just.....#they were not supportive at all even if they said they were#they were supportive when it benefited them#i dont like talking about them but this is how im trying to process how horrific and traumatic that friendship probably was.......#theres always a part of me that thinks im the worst person ever because of them its so bad idk#i wish i didnt feel like this sometimes.......#but in a good way: i can be a bit happy on selfshipping without feeling as if im a laughing stock to them#i dont think they even read anything i sent them in regards to literally anything#selfship or not#try not to talk about personal stuff almost at all i try to never speak about Me ever because i feel overbearing and a lot#but i just feel bad i guess...#in all honesty though: yall are so sweet and i appreciate every single one of you !!!#i just can never articulate my thoughts correctly#and i feel too afraid to show things because of how things were in the past :(#but i really do appreciate everything i just ...#im not good at talking about Me ... like i said previously i think#i think though a good thing is finally being able to enjoy the things i like even if its kind of semi public so i think thats a huge step!!#i just.... feel too much. i feel things too intensely....#maybe i should write things on paper instead of typing things out#idk... uh thinking out loud here sorry#rambling but um i think i got everything out ?? idk :thumbsup:#but i do mean it though: thank you for being nice and patient with me ^_^#i know my fear gets in the way and im trying TO FIGHT IT#going to PUNCH FEAR going to attack fear with hammers#this is so long i apologise ........#ashley talks
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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i think the thing to understand abt martha jones is that even after she leaves she is five seconds away from dropping everything and traveling with the doctor at any given time. bc that itch to blow everything up and damn her personal duty to hell in search of a higher call never leaves her. but martha is smart. and rational. and has spent a long fucking time needing to keep herself safe. (bc he comes when she calls but never before.) and so she has gotten very good at keeping herself on the right side of those five seconds. but i do think if ten was a different person (if he could acknowledge how much he needed her instead of just how much he liked her) (if he didn’t feel this righteous martyrdom when it comes to being left alone) (if he cared enough about her to beg. if he cared enough about himself.) i think that her answer no would come crumbling down pretty quickly is all.
#MARTHA JONES’ TWISTED SENSE OF DUTY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME#there is soo much nuance to this. obviously. and it really varies depending on when exactly in his run we’re talking#but me personally. i don’t think that martha was ever satisfied with the way things ended between them. i think she made peace with it!#but i don’t think she was satisfied and i don’t think she ever could be#which is also why i have slowly come around to her and mickey. even tho i think it IS very pair the spares in a way i don’t like#i do think they make sense together. in a genuine way and also in a you’re the closest i’ll get to what i want. you’re good on your own but#- you’re also the next best thing. and we don’t need to say this out loud bc we both know and it wouldn’t ruin anything by admitting it but#- it sure as hell wouldn’t feel good either#it’s not even like. directly about the doctor/rose here is the thing. it’s about the life he let them lead with him#which i guess is the crux of this. i think martha is capable of moving on from her Feelings for the doctor. but never her feelings about him#yknow. does that make sense. if anyone knows that the doctor is a symbol it’s martha#i don’t think she’s always in love with him. i think she was. tho my opinions on that r complicated hashtag tenmartha qpr BUT#but the IDEA of him? the idea which shaped her into a completely different person? i don’t think she will ever not want that back @ her core#she’s just too loyal to everyone besides herself to admit that. 😐#ok it’s 4 am i have been rambling abt this for fifteen minutes so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but i have FEELINGS ABT HER !!#ted talks#martha jones#doctor who
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what if i wrote a twisters au……….
#storm chaser eddie diaz loses his wife trying to capture tornado data realises it’s too dangerous now that he’s a single parent#packs up his life and son and moves from north texas tornado country to LA takes a desk job#one of his old buddies calls him up tells him they’ve got new tech and can really study tornadoes now#but. they need someone who Knows storm chasing to do it#it could change everything it could keep people safe he just has to get them the data. one week.#enter: hotshot cowboy scientist tornado wrangler evan buckley#with his stupid hat and stupid sunshine smile and stupid heart of gold under all that nonsense#is he taking risks for the hell of it. putting himself in danger for internet clout and attention#or if eddie looks a little closer is that all going to fall away. someone smart and silly and only wanting to help#because buck and his friends are there Before During and most importantly After every disaster. making sure everyone’s taken care of#and maybe with him in eddie’s corner eddie can figure it out this time#can make it so he doesn’t always have to worry about his family being in danger of natural disaster#and maybe he can keep buck with his dumb jokes and giant heart and boneheaded bravery#ok sorry i’ve seen twisters three times in the last week i cant stop thinking about it#will maybe scribble some of this down when i have a minute#n
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Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.
#wow the demons which are one of the consistently evil forces in these games did something bad#hey players do you know that that was not nice#ok thank you. do u think I am 4#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#also grinding my gears that everyone (including dalish elves???) just immediately accept the evanuris are evil/have come back#like the first person to not immediately believe it is the first warden and honestly he is the only character so far I respect#like maybe if this was like inquisition and a huge hole in the sky/rifts opened everywhere#but it seems like nothing like that happened but everyone somehow magically knows about the ritual and instantly believes everything rook sa#the more I think about these things the more annoyed I get#guys did you know being a leader means u sometimes need to make hard decisions... varric taught me that in my ma15+ game#i am enjoying the combat at least lol and I like Bellara and want to see Babylon so I'm in it for the long haul#why does everyone have a gun to their head making them nice though like it's so painfully out of place sometimes#and being able to only say the same thing but in a slightly boring slightly funny or slightly serious way is driving me insane#like I seem to be the only one who had no problem w the limits on dialogue in inquisition but this is driving me insane#Mourn watch rook what if you were somehow boring and nice. yay thank you bioware#ALSO rook stop talking and forming opinions without me getting to choose what u say like no I don't want u to day we have to save that perso#ok I swear I'm done now.. I need to go back to writing my thesis instead of grinding my teeth about this game#this is all coming from an inquisition enjoyer as well (sorry) but like so far I have found nothing I enjoyed about inquisition in this game#maybe if the inquisitor and Ghilan'nain are cool latee on I can focus on that (big maybe)#I am only early on still (just met first warden) so there is still time... i guess..
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
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replaying dragon age inquisition is just an exercise in “the rebel mages would not fucking do that”
#da#my posts#specifically the hostile ones hanging out in the hinterlands for no good reason.#at least they gave the crazy hostile templars a motivation. a really weak one but still. At least they have a goal.#‘kill at mages. don’t gaf about anyone else’ ok. fine.#‘kill everyone you see for some reason. we need to steal their belongings I guess????’ insane. what the hell.#the could have at least done some blood magic about it. it would have been a boring repeat of da2 themes but at least there would be themes?#it’s just so STUPID. especially coming off of a fresh da2 playthrough.#like there’s some dumb stuff in da2 to give you an excuse to fight both mages and templars as generic npcs don’t get me wrong.#but not this much. and unlike da2 you and your companions comment on it as if it makes any sort of sense lol#also I hate that they decided that the chantry explosion killed a bunch of people (which is not supported at all by either the environments#or dialogue of da2 btw. the game is mainly concerned about anders murdering elthina not randos lol)#but that will come in later.#anyway. every note I find in the game from the mages is so insane. just found the area where the templars burned down a house with mages#locked inside. but because both sides have to be bad for dai plot reasons#the mages killed the peasants that lived in the house for damn reason lmao. AFTER robbing them on the road earlier.#insane choices from the writing team on this one.#what were you trying to SAYYYY#like I’m ok with the mages being a bit brutal. that happens in war. but there’s like. reasons? usually?#like as much as orsino turning himself into a flesh beast is insane and weird both-sides-ism plot device.#at least they tried to give him a reason (even if it didn’t make sense in the context of hawke and co absolutely destroying the templars he#was so convinced were going to kill them all)#the hinterlands mages genuinely have no reason to attack random passersby.#ESPECIALLY SINCE IM PLAYING A MAGE.#like?????? hello I am one of you. how the hell do you even know I’m not one of the rebels.#sorry anyway I’m upsetti spaghetti.
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i love ryomina
no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.
it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.
ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.
minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.
the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.
minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.
it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.
november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.
it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.
how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.
ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.
he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.
SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.
and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!
so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.
messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!
even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.
march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.
and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.
p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.
ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!! god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!
i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#meta#long post#(literally)#HI SO UM YESTERDAY I COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP so to cope i was like 'i will talk out loud about anything and everything'#and somehow that turned into me talking about ryomina out loud and something about verbalizing my thoughts made me feel crazy about these-#two again. i mean for the record i continue to love them always very dearly but like my p3 braincells sometimes go into hibernation bc-#ive been on a really huge splatoon kick. but anyway my voice was like cracking at 3am because i was tearing up#i was like 'THE!! IM! SO NORMAL ABT WHAT ORPHEUS AND THANATOS AND MESSIAH SYMBOLIZE' etc etc etc#so i kinda just went to sleep like 'ok well you GOTTA type it out. everyone needs to know about this.'#and um i didnt mean to make 1069 words! sorry! not really! but i love them!!! even if im very quiet these days!#ohhh how lucky i am to have had the chance to experience ryomina they are such a gem. they make me so goddamn emotional#they really mean a lot to me because of well. (gestures at the entire post) but also they came at a really good point of my life and FUCK!!#im so so grateful to them!!! i love them!!!! the themes that their relationship and characters convey just !! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!#they've affected me so profoundly and deeply and i wish i could make better art to get this across. but its ok. one day i can. one day#they make me so fucking talkative like actually but um. i had a lot of fun writing this! i dont think ive had like. a proper appreciation-#post for them that articulates why i like them so much (unless you count the essays i write in my art tags) so it was nice to make this.#admittedly theres a lot abt p3 that im rusty on since its been a goodwhile since ive interacted with the source material#and in a way you could say that like. i need to renew my p3 license LMAOOO but god some parts of p3 still have such a huge death grip on me#and what i mean by that is that the big Fucking Events have such!! clarity!! in my mind!! i recall them and i wilt on the spot!!#oh god i cant fucking shut up. the tags are probably 500 words long. enjoy my ramble. i wish every ryomina enjoyer a Good Life <3#actually no. i hope that EVERYONE on the dash today has something that sparks joy for them the way ryomina does for me.#everyone deserves 2 have something that makes their brain do a little excited dance that makes them blow up and explode. its good for u!#BYE FOR REAL this is why i have to post my thoughts very spread out otherwise yall would have so many WORDS on ur dash pls help i have so#many emotions and i am so tiny i cannot possibly fit all the feelings i have about ryomina and other things inside my tiny little body
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day 15 except i got busy with school and wasnt able to draw and had to get caught up so i drew it way later but i got caugh tup so whatever,,,
#i lvoe soho i used to listen to so many covers with him#i had taht one bacterial contamination one on loop#peace anf love soho#soho#digital art#mine#my art#fanart#vocal synth#utau#doodle#expulsion lore has changed such taht it will be announced on monday#i think it is likely because even though i got caught up on the work i was supposed to#my art teacehr set me an impossible task despite knowing ill get expelled for failing it#she told me that i should not feel safe even though i got caught up on my other work because im not safe#like ok thanks i suppose i feel so supported by the staff and teachers of this school#even if they dont expell me i might just drop out because why is everyone always out to get me#whatever who care#it was sunny today and it will be storming tomorrow peace and love#also im going to post the art for the other days i missed now#i was going to post them all at once in one post but i decided against that#i still need to draw todays drawing also but ill do that later#very sad that i failed my drawing challenge cries#sorry to dissapoint
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forgot to post this
#knockout#transformers prime#tfp#tfp knockout#this is my first time drawing transformers and i ended up with 119 layers of coloring#i had fun but i do not look forward to any more alien gay robots on my virtual canvas for at least a few months#(immediately goes to draw him again)#to be fair this time it's gonna be humanization#i already started it and have surprisingly hard time designing him clothes. while character design is like. my profession.#no i designed him allright. the thing is#i know he wouldn't wear that if his life depended on it#and i also can't design smthn he WOULD wear becouse I WOULDN'T and it gives me a hard time fairly judjing if it is okay or a crap#ok this tags getting out of control sorry ig#it's just 4 am now and everyone else is asleep. i need to rant SOMEWHERE ok??????#yes i become very chatty when sleep deprived. idk what you should do with that info#and when I'm NOT sleep deprived i just. never fucking talk. how tf me workin'.#ok i stop now#good night or good morning or whatever#lisayon draws
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