#ok so not bad at least I got 3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ineed-to-sleep · 2 months

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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it

#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL #AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP #yep that was meee :3 #man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did #but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying #I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious #I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep #then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh #I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking #so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital #luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point #so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like #I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do #and I was scared it might make things worse #but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack #luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone #and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there #I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city #bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there #so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by #I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before #I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches #so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die #cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome #but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug #but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication #now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf #sleep.txt

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bibleofficial · 4 days

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i’ve been up like 3hrs & 2/3 of each hour has been me shitting & suffering like

#stream #shitposting #still don’t know the shitting tag #me after the first: ok i’ll have to shit again in a few hours but i can calm down for 10 mins then get things done (hopeful) ((mistakenly))#like ok so u want to go back (suffers worse than the first) But feels GOOD LIKE WE’RE DONE & WE STILL HAVE TIME TO GET TO VODAFONE #as soon as i got dressed & finished brushing my teeth here she COMES for the fuckin KILL #& now i know im not going to be able to get to fucking vodafone ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA #maybe i can get to ikea but im cowering in a corner (in my head) ((literally im shitting rn & it feels like my asshole has been stabbed but #it’s not that bad like 3/10 i’ve had worse))#but idk i feel like there’s going to be a fourth in there & what fuckin SUCKS is that this bitch is SOLID so it’s not even like i can take #anti diarrheals bc i don’t …. NEED IT TO BE MORE SOLID IF IT WERE A LITTLE LESS THAT WOULD BE GRAND #i’m so fucking exhausted #& i still have shit to do #she’s got the crampys #& THATS WHAT U GET U GLUTTONOUS CLOWN UR LACTOSE INTOLERANT & ATE 5/7 OF A LARGE PIZZA #but that was like #the first thing i actually ate in like 3 days #anyway AKSKALSKALKSLKSLKSALSLA at least u have CALORIES #or at least had #did i absorb them probably not #not the point #that’s why u have ur vitamins which u hold as gospel

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mel-loly · 8 months

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-Lin in my style! <3

@screwzara

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kitsunabi · 2 months

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VINDICATION

#living la vida valerie #literally got the cc’d-to-7-others-as-proof-of-how-bad-contractor-is-at-her-job email #where the accountant finally admitted that my paperwork is actually correct #(lol for her not admitting that her calculations that I should follow were absolutely wrong)#dw I added pictures with arrow to prove it so she can’t get away with that at least #the contractor IS good at job pls and ty give me my money thx #feels good to single handedly nullify a 6page report that keeps saying how bad I am at math when in fact #I was correct the entire time #I was so mad when I got that 6pg attachment and an email that summed up as #lol you are doing it wrong read this report and the handbook again #they did the -we need a contractor-department meeting- and literally no one is bringing this up anymore #I have extra work tonight because I need to resubmit 3 months of invoices but this is just the asking for money paper so I’m ok with this

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astrxealis · 5 months

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making myself suffer looking thru ffxiv stuff on tumblr when i could be playing ffxiv rn but i eternally love and miss ffxiv

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#Ough... oooooggghhhhh..........#unrelated but i will probably make my next theme mr leon kennedy bcs how iehehebfknsnd i am over him lately #is... kinda insane! silly <3 #like. damn! damn. amidst darkest despair light everlasting.#ffxiv is so so so so so crazy from 1.0 to 6.0 and beyond and soon 7.x and and and #i miss raiding :( i miss my friends in ffxiv too. esp my best friend.#def will get back into raiding by the time 7.x ultimate comes out bcs GOD !!! god.#and okay pandaemonium & eden are my fav tiers aesthetic and story and fight wise #and memory wise bcs eden 9-12 was my first ever savage tier. meant a lot to me. still does #i played through that shit when i was . 14 y/o and newly 15 y/o LMFAO #and then pandaemonium just like. the year after. when i was 15 y/o... not even reaching 16. damn.#it's tough playing ffxiv when you're young but it's nice seeing more & more ppl around my age playing #even tho these guys most likely did Not start playing when they were like. 13/14 y/o. since i started on my bday LMFAO #it's crazy bcs i am playing w majority adults and maybe the occasional minor who is still like. at least almost an adult #^^ back then i mean bcs ok the closest friend i made when i was on eu was this guy 3 yrs older than me. that is already insane to me.#and my best friend since i'm now on oce is still a year older than me!#and it's silly (?) bcs eu i tried to hide my age at first but then they kinda found out bcs probably the way we r is just. too Different LOL #but i mean obvs it changed some stuff bcs it would be weird for probably 30 year old to be besties w a half their age kid #but the whole lil fc was just rlly sweet. :(( made a great friend i see as my big bro i am still friends w. that probably 30 y/o guy and the #kinda mom of the fc lowkey saw me & my twin as sweet kids. the person we got into xiv was like a big bro figure too and Damn his gf is rlly #cool! and the uni age students were super cool and fun to talk w. and the friends of my close friend who were also my friends were so fun.#i miss that but i look back on it all fondly ..... :3 and then w oce it's a bit more complicated bcs #i haven't had much time or opportunities to Find a group like that? but instead i found a best friend :((#rlly close in age and w similar likes and interests and personality..... etc etc etc.......#and separately the static i & my twin joined was. Funny lol! it's silly bcs we kinda had to hide we were lil 15 y/o kids w these guys who #were all at least uni. and all of these guys were def 20-30 y/o #and one guy liked making Daddy jokes (nothing bad tho LMFAO) bcs. hesperos sheesh!#silly bcs bunch of aussies and we were almost all miqos and Thankfully ye god one other filipino YAY !!!!!#anyway. max tags. so i love ffxiv man. i miss it always even when i'm playing it.

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t4tbedehopmar · 1 year

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um. hey

#sorry for earlier...... i just got super mad idrk why fkshjdjs #anyways the amusement park was nice!#we bought cotton candy and my brother saw me kinda sad so he started talking abt pokemon interesting facts :]#and then in return i told him the plot of that one swsh fic i rlly like >:3 he seemed interested at least fjhsjsk :')#so yeah....... not feeling bad anymore i think! that was just tenporal i'm ok now 👍👍

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1ovestay · 1 year

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won’t lie, experiencing some horrors

#just cried uncontrollably for like 20 mins #cried like 3 times yesterday too #i have no energy for like anything rn.. went to buy new glasses today tried on 15 pairs hated them all and then went back to my car #and cried because i really need new glasses since i fucked up my current pair and they don’t sit right now and dig into my face #tw death . my grandma passed away while i was flying home from canada #and it sucks because everyone got to be with her and say goodbye but i didn’t #and there’s a viewing tomorrow and my dad thinks i should go since it will be my last chance to see her but i don’t want to #i get that it’s a healing way to say goodbye for some people but i don’t want to see my oma lifeless #i know i’ll never get to see her again and that fucking sucks but she’s gone and i don’t want to see her like that #plus i have work and i already called in sick 2 days i don’t want to leave them short again even if it’s understandable #anyway the funeral is on tuesday at least i have the day off already and don’t have to worry about work #everything sucks soooooo fucking bad rn i won’t lie i’m not doing too great #and i miss el so much like i would kill to be able to hug my gf right now #their mom sent me a video today of them laying on the couch with their parents cat cuz they visited for father’s day #and i’ve cried twice while watching it…#argh. anyway. going to go watch a silly little video of some sort and maybe sleep early cause i haven’t been sleeping well #it’ll be ok 🧡#p

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gaylittleguys · 1 year

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I feel so sorry for The Boss. You get your child taken away from you practically at birth, and you’re forced to give up your agency, your choice, your body, your service up in the hopes that your child is going to be okay. And you never get to see them or talk to them and you have to spend every day thinking about them and wondering how they’re doing, and if you can help them at all. You even have to kill your lover to protect them. You give everything up for a child you think you’ll never see, and think about them every day for two whole decades. Then finally you get to meet him and he’s just sooo fucking annoying you can’t stand his ass. Embarrassing.

#not even TOUCHING upon also training your adoptive son who ends up fucking up your whole thing and message #and your cringe fail actual son falls in love with HIM and dedicates his whole life to fucking everything up on purpose even harder #and you just gotta look down from heaven/up from hell/wherever you end up and watch all that happen #like she had to give her whole life up for the chance to ask them to be better and be free of the choices she had to make #and they’re like ok got it war and conflict forever thanks mom 👍#embarrassing #I love her so much #at least 1/3 sons wasn’t a disappointment #not bad odds #mgs

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jorvikzelda · 1 year

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im SOOOOO grateful my dnd party isn’t bigger actually wtf .

#the struggle when 1 of you works office hours and the other 3 work SO irregularly #planning was getting so messy we had to make an excel sheet for who’s available when 😭#by we I mean I. I made an excel sheet. It was fun though. I willingly did it.#see also our planning session. i was thinking character creation would be quick. no. we spent 6 hours.#i was like. it’s only 3 ppl it’s FINE #but turns out when you have to be looking up rules for spells and shit as you go + the players don’t know how to roll for their stats it uh.#Gets a lot messier and more complicated.#Rolling for stats is SO bad to explain. Have you ever tried to explain that to a complete beginner? Don’t. Use the stat block.#Also i did the thing where if their modifiers totaled to less than +2 they get to re roll #nd that meant A LOT of math and A LOT OF REROLLING #also I made them reroll if they were TOO op (one player rolled like 3 15s and a 14…) which also happened unbelievably many times #one of them kept rolling so badly and I was like ok let me roll. and her first stat i rolled fucking 5…#(total modifier sum was like. negative so we scratched that lmfao)#I might change the way I work w stats next character creation session bc it felt like a veeeery flawed way to go about things #But hey at least they got the hang of rolling for stats :D #z talks #not horse game

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spaghett-onaplate · 1 year

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the storm is passing (my period is ending)

#but jfc the other days have been intolerable just lying in bed. yesterday i had WORK TOO. OUGH #at least the bad pain was only for about a third of the shift and i was just standing still for three and a half hours #but ugh i was on 3 hours of sleep and in pain so tired and so hurty i felt like i was gonna black out #but its ok! at least i got paid! better than feeling all that and just suffering for free #im like if jesus christ wasn't not for profit #but also hey im just standing at the door why cant i have a stool or something. no reason to be standing #same as cashiers they should be able to sit

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#i was rereading thru my last dyslexia assessment and its really interesting. i took it 5 years ago #which is before i really figured out how to be a person and it does match a lot of my struggles #as u might expect. like very very bad short term memory and delay in ability to call words to the surface #the last one might explain why i constantly struggle to find the words im looking for. and obviously my ability to read and spell are very #bad as well. but they dont actually drill down on why. its weird. theyre screening for problems but dont ask what the problem looks like #from my end. like my eyes dont track well across a page and i find it it difficult to read passages because my brain is constantly #interupting me with unrelated thoughts and daydreams. and you woudlnt kno that from reading this report. makes me wonder how nuanced an #understanding of dyslexia we actually have. i should read dyslexia papers bc i find it really interesting #it also makes me kinda sad bc the person assessing me made notes like: very attentive and focused. obviously anxious when under assessment #like aw poor anxious freak lol. i also clearly did not fucking understand what they were asking on the executive function assessment #bc i answered that i had no problems there and i clearly have problems with just about everything asked abt and i kno i did then as well #it must have been academicly originated and like i can do school. im good at school. but everything else is a disaster #to clarify. i wonder how much assessment of how dyslexia is experienced when assessments are just looking got indications that #its happening. bc if u kno its there as a teacher it doesnt really matter what it looks like to u. but i personally find it v interesting #and im sure brain ppl do to. id do a dyslexia brain study. come at me neurologists #also questions like: r u able to stay organized? me: of course! i only exist in like 3 locations so even if i lose things theyre easy to #find in the massive disorganized pile of things i leave behind #its very funny to me reading that report as i take these measurements where my workspace looks a disaster and im constantly losing my pen #and forgetting what i need to do. then suddenly remembering. like can i stay focused? yes. i stay so focused that i burn my brain to dust #ay ay ay. at least i still feel ok abt my measurement taking. tho my ability to sleep is already in decline so im sure that wont last long #bc thats how it goes. an up mood where maybe i wanna run around in circles screaming a bit but its all good. not getting a ton of sleep and #doing too much. then burning out and losing stability. pulled forward by my own compulsive thoughts #but for now were good. and someday ill do a dyslexia deep dive bc i really really wanna kno but also i cant read which makes learning hard #when u want academic info lol #unrelated

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chisatowo · 2 years

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I love nuzlocks you get forced to use pokemon you would never use otherwise (especially in randomizers) and then you can chose out fun naming themes and have a fun little lineup of guys that you may or may not get to use and then there's the horrors

#rat rambles #anyways guess who started a white 2 randomized nuzlock and immediately got its ass handed to it by roxie #is this me being punished for not campaining for her harder on the fictional band bracket? Im so sorry roxie </3 #I straight up was preparing to have to reset like it got Bad #for some context; she had a brave bird spamming ho-oh #at the time my team consisted of a virizion blastoise tangela sableye and gligar #now I had planned on having my virizion (named nene) do most of the heavy lifting since most of my team was pretty pathetic still #but ofc with that fun 4 times weakness I had to change plans and since I had gotten volt switch tm early due to randomized items I had #already taught it to a couple of my pokemon so I was like ok. I will pull out an (my gligar) and volt switch into rui (my sableye)#in hindsight that was already a bad plan but yeah it outsped and killed an which I was distraught abt since I love both an and gligar #I wasnt quite panicking yet but I was worried but I still sent in rui since he knew volt switch too and I wanted to get a least a decent #bit of damage off before switching to haruka and playing the chipping game #it outsped. rui died. so I was like fuck fuck fuck is this thing just gonna sweep my fucking team #it didnt one shot haruka but it was critting range. I tried my best to heal stall but alas crit it did #at this point I needed nene to somehow kill this thing in one turn with only pathetic or not effective moves #I pull out double kick. it crits one hit and the other brings it to 1 hp. not dead. it kills nene #at this point I fully think Im fucked. I only have one pokemon left and its my weak ass tangela. I am fully prepared to reset.#I send out mafuyu the tangela. I see that last brave bird go off. and then I realize that I had forgotten something #I had randomized pokemon abilities #mafuyu had sturdy #and just like that. with 1 hp. I somehow managed to make it out of that gym alive.#in hindsight if I had known mafuyu jad sturdy I could have definitely avoided a lot of those deaths but welp. I didnt so.#and of course its fucking mafuyu that survived and that I am now unreasonably attatched to #I managed to rebuild a bit of a team before burg tho since they kindly give 3 encounters so now I have kanade the shelgon airi the pignite #and saki the whiscash which admittedly not ideal for me rn due to some miscaculations on my part of when mafuyu would evolve #and kanade has. the camoflague ability. like fuck man not on the dragon type #airi isnt bad tho as long as I dont kill her instantly she should make for a pretty reliable pokemon in these trying times #saki isnt. the best. but she isnt necesarily bad right now she just will probably fall off a bit later on #if kanade can survive to level 50 tho thatll be great I could use the power even if camoflague salamance isnt. great.#from my limited understanding of pokemon meta anyways dhdmgskdh

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melancholiaenthroned · 2 years

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forgot how bad i was at shooters 👍 goodnight

#lost to the the first boss in less than a minute like three times um. ill try again tmr #at least i dont have to reload that shit in my enemy. how i got thru borderlands. well ok to be honest i didnt👍i was very very bad at it #at least this doesnt have awful janky car driving mechanics <3 sorry borderlands mutuals i got stuck on rocks so many times.#poison.txt

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arolesbianism · 16 days

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I love drawing Aris as sif so much she's so cutsies. It almost makes up for the horrors of having to draw her as sif. Almost.

#rat rambles #eternal gales #stars posting #I will live in a state of not rly understanding everyone's hatred of lineart until I do sprite redraws #I get it now. this is hell #it doesnt help that I have to improv poses and expressions and stuff a thing that Im not good enough at style emulation to do well #I was going to try to do all of sifs battle portraits with aris but Im like 3 hours in and only done with 5 of them I am not strong enough #tbf in theory the rest after the first 7 shouldnt be as bad since I can just edit the first ones but I dont wannaaaaa #I Do have ideas tho. alas.#Ive just been thinking oh so hard abt her expressions throughout the acts #also abt her going through the horrors in general #for the first two acts she isnt smilely like sif is instead having a very determined look #but after that she becomes a lot more like. innitentive I guess?#basically imagine she's like completely stuck in her own head at that point and is barely processing the things around her #she also gets her only smile within this set being her buff/heal animation where she puts on a fake smile to try to meet her pretend #shes ok and paying attention quota #its not helping. its only making the others worry more.#I have the least ideas for act 5 but I think it'd be fun to maybe have her actually make eye contact with the camera for those?#shes looking off center for all her other ones so I think itd help set the tone of oh god fucked up shit is happening #also she tends to mask more when stressed so.#in general its just very fun thinking abt the ways aris would handle things differently than sif #for one she doesnt have as many side quests where she gets nosy and regrets it due to a mix of her being so fixated on solving the loops #and her just generally being bad at reading most ppl leading her to not rly noticing or caring abt stuff that sif would #mainly she doesnt get the confession side quest despite sier still trying every loop because she didn't rly realize how important it was to #sier and just sorta assumed it was not that important in the grand scheme of things #but she Does have a similar side quest with mase where she gets to have a self hatred spiral <3 #in the house shed sometimes catch mase secretly pick some stuff up when shes not looking and if she asks at the end hed say that he was #going to make something but didnt get everything he needed. this leads aris to assume itd be some tool or weapon or smth like the bomb #so if she went around and found all the spots where he collects stuff in one loop shed be able to ask again and he'd reveal he wanted to #make matching bracelets for everyone. and aris would get frustrated and upset and then freak out because she got mad and spiral

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autism-corner · 17 days

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=3=

#ok ive got an appointment for tomorrow to see if i can. get like meds to help with the horrors but.#its throwing me for such a loop because. i have to explain and justify my depression.#and the little fun voice in my head keeps saying that we dont have it that bad and that we dont need meds and that were FINEE.#but literally the second day i had to go to uni was already badd bc of exhaustion and i didnt wanna get up and. all that stuff.#and i know that as soon as the uni honeymoon feeling ends ill be back in the trenches. especially next semester.#so i KNOW its good too look into help right now just. as a preventative method.#but if its only preventative that means that were not BAD yet so why would we need it now??? hmmm???#its better to just give up and push trough it right :))#sillyposting #its hard and i know the appointment will be even harder because im constantly worried im not mentally ill enough.#i think they'll just say “youre not depressed?? grow up!” despite. “i want to kill myself” almost going trough my head 24/7 =w=b #TONS of people have it worse than me. so why should i deserve help?#anyway yeah im just spiraling on that thought. =w=b its fun were awesomee. i know its all bullshit and i should at least try butt #=3=pp #yippee......#maybe i can at least ask for something to quiet the voices.... that'd be nice.

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nomairuins · 24 days

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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and #not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work #i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a #while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that #there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and #atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk #idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless #everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles #every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling #exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But #itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking #sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good #days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and #im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can #donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to #be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and #hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care #but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to #and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and #happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality #type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so #upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for #them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep #any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to #be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh #and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this #is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh

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