#ok rant over i have to figure out how to move on in my life

[distracted-obsessions]

thoughts from the Thunder Saga

Suffering: First of all, adorable. He's scared of the water 🥹.

Second, he ain't got no daughter.

The questions are hi-fucking-larious. "Let's say I'm on the run- or hiding! From... idk... Poseiden!" *shrugs* also, when I first heard the "oh no," it sounded so deadpan lol. *in the world's most deadpan voice* "oh no. whatever shall you do."

Different Beast: OH SHIT! OH FUCK!! OH SHIT! OH FUCK!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *SCREAMING, CRYING, HYPERVENTILALING* I AM NOT OK I AM NOT OK I AM NOT OK I AM NOT OK

Scylla: I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! I KNEW IT FROM THE CIRCE SAGA!!!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!! THE "forgive me!" NO, BABIES!

Hello, Scylla.

Oh, Scylla.

Oh, Odysseus.

Mutiny (oh no): Oh. Oh no. Oh baby. Oh sweetie. Oh no, please.

Oh shit.

Oh no. please don't. please don't do this. please, please, please don't. I'm sorry, don't. OH!

Eurylochus, no.

Thunder Bringer: Wow, Zeus. Keep it in your pants.

Zeus, don't. Don't you dare make him do this again.

Don't.

Baby...

Ok. Ok. I'm not ok. That was not ok. I am so not ok right now. I put my head in my hands and I sobbed. I think I can count on one hand how many times I've done that. That hurt. I'm sad now. I don't think I can recover.

[iwas-princess]

hi ok so u said u want requests so here I am

how ab rin n u are in a argument and he says that ur clingy or annoying and u cry then he comforts u?

suna rintaro • all too well

“just drop it, princess.” he sighed, his sweaty palms slapping against the marble counter tops of the kitchen as your voice rose with each word you spoke.

“no! you told me that we would go to dinner today all week long, then canceled because you wanted to play a dumb game, rintaro! that’s horrible. you’re horrible to me-“

“i am not horrible to you by all means. you’re just so goddamn clingy all of the fucking time that i can never get any fucking space whenever i need it. then, when i’m actually too drained to go anywhere because you’re so fucking annoying that it actually drains my battery, you get all pissy and start claiming that i don’t do anything for you. as if i hadn’t just drove two hours out of my way yesterday to go to a stupid fucking target because ours didn’t have the- what was it? oh yeah- the worthless rug you wanted.” he ran his hands through his hair frustratedly, his back still turned to your dolled up figured as you stood behind him. “we go out on dates every week, i don’t under why you have to throw a fucking temper tantrum over this specific one, which is basically your own fault that we missed it by the way. so maybe, for future references, shut the fuck up more often if you want to go on weekly dates still. because honestly, the way shits going lately, even five hours in the same room with you can leave me so exhausted for a-“

the sob the left your lips and interrupted his rant, caused him to pause, his heart nearly stopping at the sound.

he hadn’t realized majority of what he was saying as he spoke, his mouth moving before his brain registered what he was saying and who he was say it to.

you were his princess, the one person that he had never minded going above and beyond for without complaint as he held your hand the whole ten hour drive to wherever you asked of him, you sweet smile beaming at him as you told him about everything on your pretty mind and gushed over him. he never minded, not even when you asked for the stupidest things and spoke about things he didn’t care about for hours on end— he never minded.

how could he have been so cruel?

you were sensitive, more delicate than any other girl he had ever met in his life. he had to choose his words carefully and kindly explain things to you, always. and until today, he had never found himself growing irritated with your slower mind or sensitive nature.

in fact, he found it lovely.

he turned around, facing the heart wrenching sight of a broken lover in front of him.

your makeup wad ruined, the waterproof mascara you bought for tonight failing it’s purpose and running down your foundation covered cheeks as you cried uncontrollably, your fragile heart wounded and breaking with each breath you took.

never had he ever given you any reason to believe that you were anything but wonderful in his eyes, and the newly discovered truth changed your whole perception.

what if everything you’ve ever thought you had was nothing but a mere lie to savor your feelings?

the wonderful princess treatment he provided you made your foolish heart swoon and he filled your every thought with each action of service he gave you, and now… now it was seemingly all a lie.

“baby, please-“ his voice was gentle now, a quick transition from the harsh tone a moment ago.

you interrupted him with the face of your palm, holding your hand in the air childishly before speaking.

“don’t.”

the broken sound of your now soft voice caused rintaro’s stomach to drop, a deep guilty feeling already developing in his bones, surly growing as the hours ticked by.

“princess, please, i’m-“

“oh, s-so now i’m your princess? i th-though that i was annoying and dr-drained you.” you snapped, your voice quivering and hiccuping as you spoke through sobs.

he sighed at the reminder of his past words, his heart crushing underneath the pressure of his rising guilt.

“i didn’t mean it, i swear. i-i-i love you, angel, please. just stop crying, it’s oka-“

“no it’s not! you-you hurt me rintaro, really bad twice tonight. i-i don’t think i can ever forgive you.”

his whole world felt like it tilted, a large semi falling off the sideways road and crushing him once the words left your mouth.

‘you hurt me, rintaro’

the sadness in your voice as you said his name hurt him beyond belief, like a knife carving into his skin slowly.

he took an oath to himself the moment he fell in love with you that he would never hurt you, and would wish death upon those who dared to.

if he could, he would’ve kicked his own ass violently for saying all of the stupid shit he did, even dumping his body over the nearest river for making his princess cry.

he needed to hold you, tell you it’s alright and he’ll make everything better, like he always had. hot chocolate and your favorite romcom while snuggled with him and a stuffie always did the trick, making you forget all about your woes and giving them to suna to take care of come morning.

and boy, did he ever take care of your issues…

to recall every occurrence would be nearly impossible, for there are far too many where people had remorselessly stepped on your fragile feelings without any apology— until your rinnie dealed with them, that is.

he took a few steps towards your shaking figure, watching in agony as you sobbed to yourself over his inconsiderate words.

you looked beautiful tonight before the fight, your dress hugging your curves wonderfully and the matching jewelry set he bought you last week was accessorizing you just how he imagined it would. it truly broke his whole being to watch you fall apart, let alone considering the high hopes you had for the evening given your appearance.

taking a few more impulsive steps forward until he reached only about two feet away from you, suna watched as you began to compose yourself finally, your eyes opening and tears falling freely as your gaze set on the white tiles of the floor.

he gave you a few minutes to gather your thoughts, knowing all too well your crying habits.

“i don’t think i can ever forgive you, rintaro.” you mumbled, voice hoarse and shattered.

“i-i know, i know, baby and i’m so so sorry, truly.” he quickly responded.

“you were mean.. so mean.”

you fumbled with the satin sleeve of your dress, tears slowing their rapid pace but no where near finished yet as they rolled down your plump cheeks.

“i never thought you would be mean, rin. not to me, ever. but… i guess i don’t know you as well i thought.”

“what? no, no, princess-“ he rushed over to your side, ignoring the alarmed look on your broken face as you looked at him wide eyed. “you know me, okay? you know me better than anyone, don’t let my moronic outburst make you think any different, my love. what i said was horrible. it was horrible and i never ever should have said those things to you because they weren’t the truth, i swear on everything. i-i love you, and you’re not annoying, ever. in fact, i don’t think i can get enough of you talking or asking me to do things for you. i love catering to my princess and i don’t know why i said otherwise at all. okay?”

his hands cradled your face carefully, as if he’d brake you even more if he was even a slight bit rough, his thumbs stroked away your tears as they trickled down and left black streaks. he didn’t mind the messy look you adorned, not as much as he minded the cause of it.

you let out a soft hiccup.

“i love you too, rin. but, i-i can’t think of you the way i used to. not after…” you trailed, trying to avoid the mention of specifics in order to keep yourself from sobbing once more.

his eyes squeezed shut at the realization of your future.

“can we try? please, princess? i-i need you to breathe, to-to live. taking care of you has been my only reason for smiling, please. i’ll do anything.”

you sighed shakily. you knew well enough that you couldn’t live with your doting boyfriend either, his care and love would be too missed and your heart would be crippled for all eternity. suna was your only love, the only man who ever showed you how much you were truly worth and that it was okay to be dependent and need help. you loved him more than anything in the entire universe, nothing could change that— not even this.

it was sad, really.

“we’ll have to, rin. because i can’t live a day without you. you were right though, i am clingy. i cant go two minutes without asking for a kiss or looking at you, and i’ll work on it-“

“don’t. don’t you ever stop craving to be near me, princess. i love it, i really do. i have no clue why i denied that i do, baby girl. you’re everything to me and i want you to touch me all the time, so please don’t stop.” he whispered, his hazel eyes looking deep into yours.

instinctively, you captured his lips in a gentle kiss, as usual routine whenever he reassured you that you were his perfect dream. you hadn’t even realized your mistake until it was too late and suna’s arms were wrapping around you tightly, a wordless way of apologizing once more.

but this time you felt it, you felt that he meant he was sorry and would beat himself up every day until he died for hurting you.

you melted in his hold, arms eventually sliding on his back and pulling his closer for the emotional support he always provided you.

the strong scent of his cologne filled your stuffed nostrils, a warm, fuzzy feeling replacing the cold and devastated emptiness you once felt moments prior.

this wasn’t healthy, you forgiving him so quick, you knew it too. but, suna wasn’t like the other men who repeated their regrets, he actually loved you and kept his word.

which is why you chose to stay and heal, eventually trusting him with your sensitive heart again with time.

[headlinerkwan]

paths - [teaser 𓇼]

pairing: soobin x gn!reader

genre: nonidol!au, exes to ???, firstlove!soobin, angst, some fluff

summary: as you prepare to move back to your hometown, you discover a stack of unsent letters, causing you to reminisce on your first love and break up.

warnings: mentions of death (reader's dad passes away before events in the fic, mentioned but no detail.), some swearing, lots of lowkey pining ._.

teaser wc: 805 - read the full fic here

a/n: this fic was kind of inspired by 'paths' by niki, and the rest of her new album 'buzz' - go check it out!! i plan on releasing the full fic in a few days ･ᴗ･

“Mom, I promise there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure? I can drive up and help.”

“Yes, I’m all packed up, everything’s fine Mom, this isn’t my first time moving and there’s no way I’m letting you drive seven hours across the country,” You continue as she rants on about the overwhelming piles of paperwork and mess around the house, “I’ll be there to sort everything out soon, so don’t worry about that just… try to relax.” 

“I’ll text you when I’m on the road, ok? I love you Mom!”

“I love you too, I’ll see you soon, yes?”

“Of course.”  

You throw the phone down on the bed, your childhood hits playlist muffled by the ocean of blankets that it landed amongst. Looking around your room, an exasperated ‘fuck’ escapes your lips. Despite what you had just told your mother, your room was most definitely not packed up and you were most definitely not ready to leave behind the life that you had built just to return to your sleepy hometown. 

After your Dad’s death, you had decided to move back into your childhood home, to keep your Mom company, settle down, and have a quieter life. You’ve had your fair amount of fun in the city and you were ready to return to your roots. 

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

A few hours later,�� there’s only one set of drawers left for you to pack up. You’re a sweaty mess as the sun beats down on you through the windows. Pulling your hair back, you position yourself in front of the drawers alongside some boxes, bubble wrap and packing tape. 

Opening the bottom drawer you are welcomed by a pile of clothes that had been messily shoved in over the years. Okay not too much work left. Picking up a purple hoodie, a pile of envelopes reveal themselves, all of them addressed to the same person. 

Choi Soobin. 

Against your better judgement, you give in to your nostalgic curiosity and begin to unseal the first envelope. As far as everyone else knows, you hadn’t thought about Soobin in a couple of years - you had curated a nonchalant persona, one that didn’t care about the past and especially not the people that you had left behind. This, of course, was nothing but a persona, a facade that you had delicately crafted over the years. If you stopped lying to yourself, you would realise that he’s always on your mind. Breadcrumbs of your love littered through every street that you walk, every corner you turn, there’s always a part of you that longs for him. He lives in a part of your brain meant only for youth, for easier times. Everytime you see something bunny themed, or hear a Day6 song on the radio, you have to fight against every nerve in your body not to text or call him. So yes, it might seem like you don’t really care but oh my god, you’re not sure you’ve ever been so hung up over the past in the same way that you are when it comes to him.  

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Letter One:

‘Soobin, 

Hi. It’s been a while. One month and 24 days, to be exact. 

I hope you’re okay. I’m sorry if this is weird. Is this weird? Oh god, this is probably weird. 

It’s just, we promised to give each other space and time but I can’t seem to let you go. Every second of every day all I want to do is pick up the phone and call you. You’re the only one I wanted to talk to after my first day at this new job, and when I moved in and I couldn’t figure out the stove, and when I found a new cafe nearby that actually knows how to make good macchiatos. 

Maybe I should’ve stayed. Maybe I should’ve told you to stop talking about the opportunities and convince me to stay with you instead. It’s hard to be happy without you by my side, I miss you and I feel selfish saying it.

We said it was for the best and besides, I was the one who moved away, I was the one who broke your heart. Am I allowed to miss you? 

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I probably won't even send it.

Bye Soobin.‘

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Reading the letter, you chuckle as your eyes cloud with tears. You recall how you thought you’d never be happy again. That it was a bad idea for you to have lived outside of the bubble of your hometown. How naive you were, believing the world began and ended with him. You smile through the slow moving tears as you put the letter down in favor of another and reminisce on the love that you feel felt for him.  

Your thumb brushes over the water marked envelope, still bearing the scars of tears cried long ago. 

[raidenssblog]

Umm hello there! I hope you are having an excellent day / night! If it's possible may I request headcanons for the hashiras seeing reader as an older sibling figure (if it's possible all of them if not that's alright!)?? Please and thank you! ^^

No ofc it's ok, I've and 0 motivation for like 3 months and I hate it sm 😭😭

older brother

Pairing: hashira's X male reader (platonic)

Genre: angst and fluff

Warnings: none

Summary: headcannons for the hashiras having a older brother figure.

Rengoku

Ok first he really badly want to help you, because yk he's used to helping people rather than getting helped.

he will admire you, no matter what you do. Cooks a good meal, complements till dawn. If your a Slayer and your training your fighting style, nothing will spill from his mouth but praise.

If your not a Slayer and your just doing house chores or helping out he will barge in and try to 'take the weight' off of your shoulders.

If he sees you as a older brother Senjuro definitely will.

Will Intrust you too look after Senjuro and his father if he ever passes and takes you over to his place atlease once a week for a family diner.

He does cry to you some nights but it's rare, or when he dosent want to visit his mother's grave alone and asked you to join him.

If his father ever got aggressive he so happy to have you stand up against his father. Sure he can without problems but hes just so tired of it.

All in all, he trusts his life to you and welcomes you with open arms if you ever need help yourself.

Shinobu

Now, she is quite different from rengoku.

She sees more of a very close friend rather than close family for a while.

She does tend to your need tho. If you need water, medicine, help with the house she'll help you with out a second thought.

She holds a deep trust with you, something she tries not to do with many people.

When you help her with her problems it did spark up a few things within the woman.

Over time she does warm up to you and one thing leads to another she's on the verge of tears on a roof top letting all her bottled up stress out.

It's been so long since she shared her inner feelings with someone but God did it feel good.

She comes to you more often now and ever so slowly views you as family. She trusts you and rants about her day or her problems as your cooking dinner for the butterfly girls and the injured.

Muichiro

He never really remembers when you showed up in his life but he knows you've been in it for a while.

You really the only thing/one he doesn't forget about, he knows the little things about you such as your dislikes and hobbies, favourite colour things like that.

He really only remembers you as family so all together he just says your his older brother and moves on.

Because of his forgetful nature he dosent bring you up, like at all, unless he's asked.

"hey muichiro, who's that guy you were talking to before?" "My brother" "you have a brother! why didn't you tell us!?" "you never asked?"

Nothing really goes one between you two, of course you have days when Muichiro feels really of and y'all just cuddle up out side in the grass and hair, stare at the clouds.

He does help you cook and clean the house, and does come to you if he has any concerns or problems he dosent want people to know about.

Sanemi

It takes FOREVER to get this motherfucker to actually commit to even talking to you.

I mean come on, have you see how he treats his real brother???

Not saying that he would never warm up to you, bro just has issues, it'll take some time for him to semi trust you

Oh but he really can't escape your loving and kind nature *he need some colour in his life, ifykyk I'm so funny*

He would still give the stand offish vibe but in reality he hasn't had anyone to look after him, like at all.

He gradually gets use to the feeling and ends up seeing you as a equal to him.

Once fully trusted he rants about EVERYTHING. Bro can go on for hours about how giyuu was just breathing near him and how he wanted to punch tf out of him

Sometimes talks to you about the past or some future plans if muzan gets killed.

Cooks ohagi together very often and yall eat it together under a tree or after training.

You did catch onto his suicidal action and quicky slapped him out of it. Because of that day he tends to think things through a bit more. Key word *bit*

Obanai

Now, where should we start.

He's worse than sanemi, like by many miles.

He will NOT make any attempts to talk to you, even if you said something first.

The only reason he does put up with talking to you is because of mitsuri...

Took you a minimum of 6 months to get obanai to like you enough to spark up conversations.

Took you even longer to get him to trust you enough for him to talk about his scars, don't even worry about showing you.

Bro told you and ditched after you asked to see them. It's not he fact that he dosent like you, it's the fact that he can't trust people except mitsuri obviously.

After about a year or so he finally showed you his scars, and the first time he cried Infront of someone.

He now, like sanemi, rants about everything and anything to you. Weather it will be about giyuu, the water being too cold, a bad mission ect

He trusts you enough to break down Infront of you, tell his deepest secrets too yk stuff he wouldn't be caught dead doing.

Still cold to you but in a softer way, and yes, there is still hash remarks for him.

Kaburamaru also likes you, sliding up onto your shoulders and staying there while obanai baths or cooks.

Giyuu

At first he was warned by the fact that you actually cared, but something in the back of his mind said that you were just playing him like the rest

Bro has mad trust issues

Anyway, when you invite him over for some tea every now and again he starts talking more, starts smiling after and while and eventually let out a full laugh once.

He sees you as a anchor for himself, keeping his heavy thoughts away with your way if words.

Your so nice to him to the point he actually forgets your not related by blood.

It's been so long since he's had a safe place in someone's arms, so long since he talked about his inner feeling. So long since his mind got rid of the though of sabito and his sister dying.

He does cry just not as much as you would expect, giyuu mourns more than crying but everyone breaks right?

He makes sure you know that you mean alot to him by making you foods or drinks, cleaning your house, washing your clothes ect. Anything to help you out a bit.

He makes sure to protect you for any and all threats and will give his life for you, you helped him through so much and he adores and looks up to you as family, he can only repay it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I'm sorry half of these are crappy. I dropped so much in followers like omg😭😭

[2-59-amwater]

Percy Jackson Analysis ep.1

(did that sound vaguely pretentious? I feel like a need a funny name for this)

SO SORRY it took me this long. To be truthful I put on My Happy Marriage to listen to while refining my notes, I'm not a huge romance lover so I didn't think I would get that invested but then I proceeded to binge the whole thing...

anyways go watch My Happy Marriage, it messed me up in the best ways

On to my children, the way I wrote these notes was chronological, including lines I thought were powerful and thoughts I had while watching, enjoy my sub-tier analysis

To start with I think the casting, as well as most of the acting in the show, is phenomenal. There are some acting scenes which aren't great, but the nice things about child actors is that they grow and improve

iconic opening line 10000000/10

blackjack cameo? *chefs kiss*

One thing that really stands out to me regarding young Percy in school is that the bullying is portrayed so well. Like, sure some kids get punched but more often it's whispers, snide comments, teachers not doing enough to stop it. Not to mention when you have mental health problems or neurodivergency on top of that it makes it even harder to fit in and gain help from authority figures. There's no way teachers weren't aware of how Percy was being treated (we even see this in the books with mortals that don't care about him getting picked on by other mortals, think sea of monsters)

GROVER!!! I know I already ranted about the casting but Aryan just does such a good job. I hope in later seasons we see him more than we did in the books.

I'm UNHEALTHILY OBSESSED at the idea that mythomagic cards are to help train halfbloods. It also gets me thinking about season 3 interactions between little Nico and Percy. But it's incredibly clever to have a game that would entice children to learn more about the monsters they're likely to face against. It's also a clever marketing move irl.

Once again great portrayal of bullying while still keeping the show appropriate for kids

UNREALISTIC their paper would never be printed with color ink /lh

I really enjoy how they displayed dyslexia, it seems very accurate to descriptions.

"how it makes you feeeeel"

The lines about not everyone who looks like a hero being a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster being a monster is some of the best foreshadowing I've ever seen. It perfectly foreshadows Luke, Medusa, and generally captures one of the major points of Uncle Ricks books.

the hold fast line being used through the series *chefs kiss*

One thing I stand by in both the books and series is that I was incredibly disappointed in how little Chiron directly stood up for Percy- even in regards to mortals. Like yeah ok he's gonna be a hero but he's also twelve, help the poor boy!

The bullying Dodds shows Percy is also very accurate to real life. I've had many teachers who straight up bully kids just like this and are never called out for it.

The utilization of the word 'Special' thought the series is a great example of how "PoLite EUpHEmiSm' and often weaponized and used as derogatory terms and serves as an example of why many push for using terms like disabled over differently abled.

"childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy" DAMN GROVER just going for the jugular, pop off. love how the show incorporates realistic convos kids would have. This instance and other little side bars we see throughout the show add something that I often find missing in television throughout all generas. it's incredibly important to have realistic convos to help solidify characters as people.

"Never ever stand up to them" "that doesn't sound right" THIS LINE 10000000/10

"there you are" we're not fools Percy Jackson

I did feel like this should have been Perseus Jackson seeing as how it's pretty canonical that monsters and gods alike only refer to him using his full name, adding on the the names have power theme that permeates throughout the series.

trauma for days

"is he dead?"

Chiron low-key being the embodiment of gaslighting, girl boss, gatekeep

UNCLE RICK CAMEO!!!

realist portrayal of adults already having their mind made up and children being unable to do anything except tell their story over and over

(also does Kronos speak to Percy in his dreams as the school principal? I genuinely can't remember, if so Kronos sure knows how to embody nightmares)

I honestly wish they would have expanded more on both how guilty grover would have felt rating Percy out (even if it means protecting him) and also how betrayed Percy would have felt. his fatal flaw is loyalty, grover was his very first and very best friend, he only really has his mother, this would have been a huge punch in the gut.

anyone else feel like grover and Percy should have been interviewed separately?

I'm sorry, I have to complain about the lighting in this show. WHY IS IT SO DARK? THIS ISNT SHOWN IN THEATERS! MY EYES ARENT THIS GOOD. IM SQUINTING TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT IS ON THE TV!! WHYYYYY??!?!

"at least I know you think you didnt" -not helpful Chiron :/ shame on you

"you might have the most difficult journey" great foreshadowing

'SPeCiaL'

I know there was lots of discussion about how Gabe wasn't abusive 'enough' but often times abuse isn't easy to see or what TV leads you to believe. The show keeps it age appropriate while also showing how much of a leech and how controlling he is (answering Sally's phone, not wanting her to leave to the beach). Honestly I might make a separate post on this but at the moment I'm tired of seeing ignorant people claim that Gabe wasn't aggressive enough or that Sally wasn't meek enough to be abused.

I was disappointed that Eddie became a 'good' character instead of showing how abusive adults often have buddies backing them up

It's realistic Percy would talk to Gabe even though he's a dick, kids want to make connections

Sally in the rain- reference to Poseidon 10/10

Sally is just happy to see him :')

"all that matters is that your here, ok?" aww

BLUE FOOD!!!

"Is there something else you wanna talk about" mom knows

"I'm scared" damn does that resonate

once more just because Sally isn't portrayed as meek doesn't mean that that whole interaction wasn't unhealthy and abusive

di angelo reference! even if it's not our di angelo the name choice was incredibly purposeful

"it's getting angrier" personification of the storm lends well to Zeus and Poseidon

love PJO dream sequences

"who are you" does Kronos not know who Percy is? Gonna be real this confuses me, am I missing something obvious?

Sally was crying??!?!

the race from the car to the cabin is another example of the writers (and actors) creating realistic people you can connect to. the nostalgia that hit me in this scene was POTENT

It's so so so important to have a place to escape to as an abuse victim, and as a teen in general. Scratch that, just people in general need places to escape to which makes the cabin even more significant

Percy's self deprecating marshmallow talk :(

"I'm used to the world feeling weird to me" neurodivergency and mental health issues can create very isolating atmospheres making community important -camp is that community

Uncle Rick does a great job creating metaphores regarding discrimination and ableism

It's so hard to tell someone you trust and love that you think something is wrong, especially as a child. Walker did a fantastic job capturing all the mixed up emotions that occur.

"something that felt real to you but no one else could see" once again significant to neurodivergency and mental health

I don't personally like the choice to have Sally tell Percy that his father is a god. The acting in the scene also just rubs me really wrong - it feels fake. I think I enjoyed the book version better with him never receiving a clear answer until camp, and even then you can debate on how "clear" it was.

I would be freaking out so much more that Walker if my mom approached the subject like this. It would be incredibly frightening to think your mom was going insane alongside you.

"there is something wrong with my brain" once again, uncle Rick reaches out of the screen/pages to hit me where it hurts

"I don't want to see him" the betrayal he feels :(

grover pants scene (I feel no need to elaborate on this note, it was by far the funniest scene of the episode 1000000000+

"so the important thing is not to panic"

"who are you" nooo he's ur friend don't do this to me :(((

I love grover

very nice natural lead into explaining the mist

The show is unfortunately hit with the complex issue of trying to provide context to an audience who already knows and is eager to see the action. I know there were many criticisms about it but I will say my mother, who didn't read the books, felt she had a firm grasp on the lore of the show, so that counts for something?

"what else haven't we talked about, what else haven't you told me" broken trust :(((

"I'm actually 24" NOW IS NOT THE TIME GROVER

"won't all of us be safe" ha... about that

"swear it, SWEAR IT GROVER" damn, okay sally

again, WHY IS THE LIGHTING SO DARK?!?! I know it helps hide cgi but we know there's gonna be CGI in a show abt monsters and myths

"you are not broken, you are singular" amazing foreshadowing

Sally is bamf

trauma

the choice to make things silent after Sally 'dies' *chefs kiss once again

I just really love the shot of Percy surfing down the monster dust

"he must be the one" :)))

hope y'all enjoyed :)

[shouldiusemyname]

Since @thegalwhorants - bestie put me back in my Boston feels at 4am with this, I am now compelled, and encouraged, to write about It!

So you know what this means...

Yup, You Got it. ANOTHER TRIP TO BOSTON!

Honestly, I don't even know if it's Neo's babyness or my reading of Boston, but my heart goes out to him... See, it's like a case of the reverse 3 bears syndrome:

SandRay are too close and personal for me. too many similarities with my own actual experiences and I get overwhelmed thinking about them. AKA the bed that fits perfectly but makes me disconnect out of sheer overwhelm over how comfortable I am in that mess.

TopMew just piss me off, and I took quite a trip to realize that it's a good thing. I honestly believe that that's how I'm supposed to be feeling and I'm learning to enjoy the experience. However, if I were to write about it the only coming out would be a series of incoherent rants which I will spare you from. AKA the middle sized bed that just pisses me off! Like This is too "one size fits all" but I KNOW something's off and I can't relax and enjoy my sleep.

The only ones left are Boston and Nick - my big comfy bed. I can understand this bed. I have experienced this bed before but I have no unsolved issues about it. I can move around comfortably on this bed and sleeping in it once again just makes me feel good about myself and my past experiences.

So now, after I've taken you out on a stroll through the inner workings of my mind, let's talk about BOSTON! and Nick cos you gotta have some Nick in there...

Boston is compelling. That's it.

He is compelling for Nick for the same reason his father is compelling for him. Boston come off as carefree, no BS kinda guy, I do what I want, nothing gets to me and I don't care about people's opinions. I glide and float through life and nothing can touch me.

This is super attractive and compelling for someone like, say I don't know... Nick? Who feels like he's trapped by familial obligations. That's why Nick (thinks he) knows full well what he's getting into with Boston. That's because he is attracted to THAT side of Boston who is a loose canon, that side of Boston who he wishes to have in his life (so somewhat - I actually wanted to be him, but he's hot so I ended up fucking him and now I'm in love).

Anygay... Boston - by now I hope you can see that this is all a facade. This is all him adopting and taking on his father's persona. See, Boston has no roots. His mother bolted to the other side of the planet and left him with a father who can't father. There's no parental authority, no boundaries or values. So, Boston had to instinctively understand that if he wants those boundaries, he needs to exist within the boundaries of his father's personality (I hope this makes sense and that you get what I mean). Basically, he will get his father's attention, good or bad, if it's about something that exists within his father's framework or world. Anything other than what exists there means that Boston is on his own to figure out life.

Naturally, Boston takes on that attitude and it serves him in two ways:

he gets his father's attention and approval.

He can disconnect from his own self and not go through the pain of feeling his emotions. This is super obvious in the Ray confrontation - it seems like he's enjoying the fact that he's hurting Ray, but you can actually see the switch go off. I'll get into it in a bit.

This is also why he truly can't connect the dots and see how contradictory he's being when he fails to live up to his own values, re: I will record my friends' deeply personal moment but I will not have that done to me. This is not a contradiction in his mind because these two things live in two disconnected parts of his being - the mind and the feels.

ok, now I want to get into the ep.6 Ray confrontation because this was gold! *grabbing some screenshots...just a sec...aaaaand done*

Frist of all, the sheer confusion of Boston's face when Ray comes at him. Liks, what have I done? What could I have possibly done to make Ray so angry?!

We did have some fun laughing about Boston doing so much that he needs to do a quick mental scan of all the shit he's done trying to figure out what Ray's talking about. But NO. Boston is genuinely blanking here.

But here. This? This is where it starts getting interesting, cos this

This is the face of fear. This is what Boston looks like when he's feeling his emotions.

Then, when Ray tells him "how could you do that...he's your friend" It hits him and he switches. a brief moment of actual pain here

This is first step partial shut down. Immediate emotions disconnected and he enters damage control mode.

This is when he tries to rationalize by BSing his way around how this is making him feel. Ray is not letting it go and he's not buying the "I just wanted sex and the timing was off" excuse (if you can call it that), THEN! Ray calls him a slut, the transformation is complete and Chaos Demon takes over with the most hurtful and mean thing he could have said at that point "Not just anyone. I PICKED him"

This look is terrifying. Not because it's evil, but because of the disconnect. This is 100% you made me HURT and FEEL PAIN and I refuse to feel any of it. (I wish I had a gif of the shrug cos that just completes the transformation)

After that he just goes into full attack dog mode and he's on a mission to DESTROY Ray.

OK, I think it's enough for now. I just know I will be writing about him again as B&N are my big bed with plenty of wiggle room characters.

As always, thank you for visiting my soapbox. I appreciate you sticking this out (I did have more screenshots this time!).

Much love ❤️

[esperr]

My thoughts on the new trolls movie (me ranting about trolls 3 for way to long)

Disclaimer: I am aware this is just a kids movie and it’s not supposed to be a cinamatic masterpiece. I am mostly just writing this for my own entertainment

I absolutely love doing these movie reviews, my first one being on the nimona move (I will link it at the bottom for anyone who is interested)

Now I will start this off by saying that I did NOT watch the 2nd trolls movie so some of the plot holes I might mention in this post could be things I missed because of that, but most of these are specific to this particular movie

The first thing I noticed are the many inconsistencies, such as when Gristle gets his eyebrow pulled off but only a second later he is shown with both eyebrows fully in-tact. Although, the main problem I have with this movie in in fact NOT the inconsistencies, so I will leave those at that.

At the begging of the movie we see branch as a baby. His family is separated and he is left with his grandmother who is eventually eaten by a Bergen. After this is the wedding scene. During this scene poppy expresses how badly she wishes she had a sister. This whole bit of dialogue just seems so forced. It’s as if the writers were trying to figure out how to make a movie centered around branch about poppy. This is where we get into the main thing I disliked about this movie: The sheer amount of side plots.

The first side plot we run into is poppy’s yearning for a sister. We then see her father grimace and it is extremely obvious right off the bat that she most definitely has one. This was definitely a VERY strange choice considering this movie is supposed to be about branch finding HIS family members. Adding poppy’s sister into the mix is just completely unnecessary and it adds nothing to the movie overall. It essentially just takes away from the main focus of the movie, confusing the viewer.

The second side plot we run into is Tiny diamond wanting to seem grown up. This is just even more unnecessary. Like it’s ok to explore different characters in a movie but REALLY? Why him out of every character? Not to mention that despite trying to “explore” his character, we learned absolutely nothing new about him. They could have instead used this time to explore branch and his brothers a bit more, but alas we are left with these bland brothers who lack personality.

Once poppy finds her sister we run into yet ANOTHER side plot. Poppy’s sister and the other trolls that live in this area are still afraid of the bergens. This honestly just felt like filler at this point as it was a conflict that was already resolved in the very first movie. It felt extremely forced and again took attention away from the actual plot.

Although this movie is about branch and his brothers most of the screentime is used up on little things that barely add anything to the movie. So much in fact that the antagonists BARELY FEEL LIKE THEYRE THERE. Like honestly I forgot they even existed because they have so little screentime. They also tried to give vaneer a redemption arc but failed miserably. They essentially just showed us that he kinda has a little bit of remorse and that’s it. ALSO NOT TO MENTION ONE OF BRANCHES BROTHERS RANDOMLY HAVING A CHILD WITH ANOTHER SPECUES WHAT WAS THAT?? he also just left his wife with all of his children and no help?? Husband of the year award definitely goes to this guy…

The very last thing I found annoying about this blue was when branches brother died and came back to life in the same 2 minutes. They didn’t even have time to shed a single tear because right away he was straight back to life. His death didn’t even matter at that point. They didn’t even have time to use some power of love and family trope because he was alive again just like that.

This brings us to our very last sideplot that did not make sense: just when you think the movie is finally over branch randomly decides to announce that he was also in another band and these random sparkly trolls walk in out of NOWHERE for NO REASON. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?? WHAT WAS THAT?? JUST WHY?? Why?? I CANT WCEN ?? WHAT??

When watching this movie I kept thinking to myself: why didn’t they instead use all this time to explore the brothers and backstories or give velvet and vaneer ACTUAL arcs and personalities. But alas we can’t have everything

I barely scratched the surface of how absolutely Absurd this movie was in this post, but if I all about trolls 3 for any longer I think I just might lose my mind. If you made it this far I applaud you. You are very brave

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[rosedhall]

can you go on a rant about how much you love Rose and debunk every single argument made against her in excruciating detail? Please? 🥺🥺🥺

Ohhh yes yes I can do this, because I am very normal about Rose Hall (lying)! I think I've probably seen the entire range of arguments of people who don't like Rose. Which, I feel the need to clarify, you're welcome to not like a character. I know Rose has a slightly derisive personality, she can be biting or aloof towards the player, she's stubborn and defensive, purposefully ignorant at times (girl why do you have beef with that 10 y/o) - which is probably not everyone's thing.

But I usually do have gripes with people who lie, misconstrue, blame, invent reasons not to like her or to paint her as irrational or 'bad' (or god forbid, abusive, cough I see you dead discord) because it all basically boils down to thinly veiled, "fandom misogyny" if you know the ilk. Which is twice as bad as normal, because her situation involves a lot of abuse that she gets criticised for not preventing or leaving correctly. Random aside, I feel strongly that if Rose was a male character, she would be viewed much more favourably, people love cold but protective paternal figures, with a soft spot for their child - this doesn't seem to extend to mothers.

OK, my screed / semi structural rambling under the cut:

Hugo & his abuse.

I don't see a ton of criticism in regards to Rose and Hugo's relationship on her part, at least in comparison to situations revolving around Jimmy. I assume because it's probably a bit too close to obvious victim blaming to do that. But I did occasionally come across the sentiment that she should've left earlier or when he first began abusing her, a thought that I assume arises from people who don't know much about how abusive relationships develop or are maintained et cetera.

Initial point: Hugo is Rose's boss! They meet after he hires her to be an assistant, and so from the very beginning she is his subordinate. He's famous - he has his own television show! He has enough money to afford a hotel! He controls her income by virtue of being the one who pays her.

After their relationship develops, and she presumably moves into the hotel, he explicitly begins to control her money ("Do not buy anything without my permission, I will not allow you to ruin my life"), therefore limiting what she can do while increasing his control over her. When stuck in the same property as your abuser, who is also your only source of income because he's your boss, it's very hard to make an escape without a strong support network, which we don't know if Rose had.

Additionally, abuse is incremental, Rose herself notes that prior to them being married that he was not abusive, or at least considerably less so. Which suggests that Hugo, plus the spirit-demon-whatever possessing him, managed to be covert enough early into their relationship.. before she finally was legally entrapped. And once in, as written above, it's pretty difficult to get out.

Divorce laws in the 1970s were also fairly shit still, the '69 reform act didn't go into effect until '71 and even then that required a couple to be separated 5 years (if only one wants the divorce) before they were legally separated. Meaning Hugo would still have easy access to Jim or Rose regardless of if she physically left or filed for divorce before then. Hugo having dual income, working with kids, owning property, being famous and so forth would absolutely put him at a legal advantage. Plus he's not above physically or verbally intimidating Rose (implied through the 301 sighting) to keep her from acting, the abuse whittles you down.

Having Jimmy.

During discussion with Maya, Rose states that "there was only one thing I could give [Hugo]", which suggests a sense of obligation and little in the way of eagerness in regards to giving birth to Jimmy. This seems to suggest that she's having Hugo's baby because he (or whatever possessing him) wants that and it's safer to keep him happy, rather than because she's keen to do so.

Hence why she seemed to have hoped that a baby would 'fix' things, a sentiment that current day Rose is acutely aware was a daft idea "I thought", etc. Oh wow character with shifting perspective, scandal.

Being too slow in killing Hugo.

Rose killing Hugo only after 2 years of Jimmy's life also gets her some shit, which I don't think is honestly warranted because she ammended it relatively quickly. In the game she does actually blame herself, which I suppose is why people go 'yeah exactly' in response to her "I should've done it sooner. I let him abuse Jimmy for too long".

I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that maybe it's normal and human for someone to be hesitant to commit a murder, especially murdering someone they once loved. Tim Follin does tend to write his characters as relatively grounded, at least in terms of their personalities, it's not as though murder is treated flippantly within the game, in fact the conceit of the story is based on the deaths of the hotel ghosts, who are granted a lot of weight or emotion. (Hugo will not be missed though).

Mayhaps, the murder was an act of desperation by an abuse victim, who had to do it as a last resort to prevent the death of her toddler. And less so a girlboss moment.

Not listening to Harvey or Bose.

I like this one (I'm being smarmy), because in order for it to make sense as a detrimental action on Rose's behalf, you have to completely disregard any or all mistakes that either Bose or Harvey make. Which .. idk. seems hypocritical, if you're holding everyone to these standards I reckon that the fellows are just as much at fault.

Bose and Harvey both believe that Jimmy is a very volatile, mentally ill boy which.. I mean they're not wrong, can't judge their perception. How do they go about remedying this, making their case? Bose gets off to a strong start until he falls victim to a horrific prank on Jimmy's part, upon which all procedure goes out the window (understandable on a character level, makes for better writing for a character to make a mistake funnily) and he chases Jimmy throughout his home without telling Rose nor Harvey (Rose knows in retrospect and laments wishing she could have stopped it and Harvey has no knowledge of it at all) with a 'prescription only medication' used to treat ALCOHOL WITHDRAWAL OR SEIZURES. This is just actual medical malpractice.

Then after Jimmy's successive accusations (one of which Rose sides with Bose on) he continues to behave impulsively and strangely (216), until he spite-hangs himself in the basement. Frankly, I don't blame Rose for taking what he says with a grain of salt, and not listening to the advice of a man who she believes molested her son.

Harvey. Harvey is Harvey idk if anyone actually needs me to make a bullet point list of all the actions he does that are stupid. But shorthand, he wrecks all of Jimmy's belongings, he locks him in a basement presumably without food for the night, then blames him for a fire that isn't actually confirmed to be Jim's fault (bc if you ask Rose you get some variation in response, since all the ghosts are different people with different perspectives, and she believes the fire was caused by faulty wiring - which it absolutely could have been because I doubt that the spirit possessing Jimmy would WANT to kill its host as a teenager before the opportunity to be passed down even arose). And Harvey wraps this stunt up nicely by chasing Jim with a loaded handgun.

Yeah man, I can see why she didn't listen to him, he's a berk - violent and aggressive. She absolutely should have seen some of what Jim did in retaliation as bad, but she has blind spots for a reason and Harvey doesn't help himself. She trusted Harvey to parent Jimmy and he became erratic and dangerous, as a victim of spousal abuse, who witnessed prior child abuse I can't blame Rose for having more distrust of the adult man with a gun than her previously abused son.

Additionally! The whole thing is futile! Jimmy's problem isn't his mental illness, it's that he's possessed! Neither Harvey nor Bose ever so much as consider this avenue and Rose only works it out after they're both dead - nothing she (or they) could have done in this era would have fixed the problem. Listening to the psychiatrist would not have helped the fact that Jimmy has a demon inside of him, in fact letting this man continually get his way in poorly planned medical malpractice would probably have exacerbated the issue. Speaking of..

Reporting Bose.

Boo, hiss, going to the appropriate authorities this time? Not killing instead? How dare you, monstrous woman! I also feel that people often gloss over the fact that Rose was the one to contact Bose in the first place, she's not ignorant to Jimmy's mental problems, as she's sometimes presented to be.

Anyway, I don't entirely understand what people expected of Rose here, her son was claiming to have been physically assaulted, then sexually assaulted after she chose to believe Bose the first time. She literally sided with Bose initially, after Jim claimed Boee beat him. She listened to him, she chose his narrative over her son's. Then Bose went rogue and did the weird shit in 216 alone.. with Jimmy, instead of asking absolutely anyone to sit in with him. I like Bose, he has a nice demeanour and seems gormlessly authentic, but sometimes he behaves in incredibly suspicious ways, that man does himself no favours.

Her son, after she trusted Bose over him, comes back after being with Bose alone, claiming to have been molested. Of course she reports it to the authorities, what did you want her to do? Ignore her child when he cried rape? If your child, who's psychiatrist had already committed medical malpractice, been accused of assault and acted thoroughly bizarre, claimed they were being sexually assaulted would you just ignore them? Obviously not, it's daft! (If she had, and Jimmy was a genuine victim, she absolutely would've got shit for NOT believing him, it's lose-lose for her.)

She went to the correct authorities to let them do their job, it is not on her to investigate all aspects of the claim personally, it's the police's.

Harvey hadn't found the scrapbook at this point and it's implied..if you actually ask Rose about these things, that she doesn't even remember being shown it, just that Harvey claimed Jimmy had made a scrapbook.

All Harvey does in way of convincing Rose (that we explicitly see) is call her son a liar, says he lies about everything, before demeaning and stropping after her - Harvey, if you pay attention to the actions he actually does rather than the retrospective stuff he tells Maya, is a stubborn, reactive git, god love him. Even Bose, who has similar thoughts on Jimmy - though much milder, is aware that Harvey has anger issues and straight up calls much of his behaviour following his own death wrong. ("Violence doesn't solve anything", he's a real philosopher).

Believing Jimmy when he said killing Harvey was self defence.

Keeping this one short because it's obvious. Harvey was an adult man, who had been spiralling for a while, armed with a loaded gun, chasing a teenage boy around the hotel. Most people, including the police in the story, would assume the child armed with a letter opener was not the aggressor in the situation.

Regardless of Harvey's comment on just threatening Jimmy to scare him out of the hotel, he evidently hadn't informed anyone of this genius play of his, including Rose.. who believed he went mad. For obvious reasons. He was being mental. Even he admits he was seeing red and not thinking right.

Not getting Jimmy mental help as an adult.

Jimmy is an adult, he can advocate and get mental health help for himself, frankly. He's possessed so lord knows how effective it would have been but you get my drift. I don't know, of the top of my head, how GPs worked in the 90s and 00s, but I'm going to assume they have similar rules to now - wherein if you're over 16, you're responsible for your own appointments and medical care.

Also... perhaps there's understandable reasons for the two people, who's last psychiatrist committed medical malpractice and (according to Jimmy himself) molestation, to have some reservations about employing another.

Additional!

Rosemary Dolores Hall nee Jones is a fictional character, her mistakes or missteps are necessary to her being interesting to learn about and talk to, because if she had metatextual vision strong enough to evade any actions that seemed right to her but were actually detrimental she would not be interesting and the story wouldn't have progressed. It's unfair and pretty telling that, for most of her detractors, Bose, Harvey and Jimmy are all allowed to make similar mistakes and they're treated as intriguing character beats (they are!) but Rose does it and gets shit for the fact.

Conclusion - GB I hate fandom. I love you Rose. explodes, night

[the-homosapien-lad]

I want to rant about the Spider Within short film soooo here is my not asked for ranting 👍 :D

So I’ve watched the film a couple times now (it’s really great totally watch and give it support) and I’m sure someone’s already mention the stuff I’m going to talk about but who cares I’m having fun.

It’s starts with Miles being really stressed the fuck out.

I love how we get to see what being Spider-Man is like besides being really cool and saving people. It’s about being in terrifying situations and dealing with regular life things at the same time, which is hard for even just a regular person, let alone a kid. The movies also do really great job depicting that, but here it’s emphasized just how heartbreaking it is to see a KID deal with the pressure of Spider-Man shit and teenager shit. Bro really can’t catch a break 😭

Anyway though

So like wtf even is that?????

My first watch through I was thinking sleep paralysis demon. And if you watch the scene Miles can’t move. And here

The figure is applying pressure on his chest. I’ve heard it’s common for people who deal with sleep paralysis that they also feel pressure on their chest and have trouble breathing.

Buuuuuut Miles is not trying to sleep and probably couldn’t even if he tried.

He’s PANICKED. Before this scene it looks like he’s trying to chill himself out but he just CANT. It’s too much, it’s hard to juggle saving lives and pleasing your parents with high expectations.

We see music being his escape multiple times, but in this instance it’s just not enough.

So with that being said, my interpretation of the spooky shadow thingy is that it’s Miles overflowed stress/pressure manifested. The visual representation of the stress taking over.

ANOTHER THING

I wonder if anyone else noticed this but

Miles is petrified, he can’t move.

He doesn’t know what’s going, trying to get grip of what’s happening.

Miles tries fighting the manifestation.

Trying to get rid of this excess pressure physically. That’s how he usually defeats his enemies.

Miles runs away.

The manifestation won’t go down, he needs to run from this false perception of danger.

Do You See It?

These are trauma responses.

Freeze, Fight, Flight. Which makes sense considering all that he’s been through.

Throughout the film he’s constantly alert because he’s Spider-Man, he needs to be prepared for whoever needs his help.

But that’s just not sustainable. Miles needs to realize this or else’s this will continue to affect his non-superhero life and will seep into his Spider-Man performance that can impact a life being saved or not.

At the end of the day it all kind circles back to self care when dealing with mental health.

In Conclusion

The story telling in this is so incredible. Absolute props to everyone involved it turned out really cool and terrifying and so fucking sad but hopeful like Jesus Christ :,)

👏✨💕so psyched for the next movie🕸️✨💞

I loves this franchise with my whole heart :,)

Complete Side Note

This is definitely me overthinking probably but

The scary movie Jeff was watching, one of the lasts things Miles sees

There are the same sorta glowy eye things in the manifestation.

Are they connected?

Probably not but I’ll point it out anyway

Ok now I’m done :p

[knightofhylia]

ok so one of hobbies is watching scary videos YouTube comps and it's so wild how so many people are shitting their pants over the smallest stuff... like I'm not talking about the people who see a shadow figure in their house and are freaked out, like the GHOST HUNTERS who scream and shit their pants as soon as anything starts to happen like bro you would get much better evidence if you didn't run as soon as something popped up. Also same with stuff like Lady in White and Hat Man stuff like,,,, how many grandma's and grandpa's have been watching over their great great grand children and as soon as a TikTok ghost hunter sees them they are evil or whatever. hats and slips were pretty essential garments until recently!! 'it was an evil presence!!" ok did you actually feel threatened or were you overwhelmed by spiritual energy.

Idk it just bothers me how so many videos are like "super spooky scary evil demon in my house!!!" and it's like a door closing on its own. ok??? you were the one wandering around asking for a sign and they gave it to you. I know I've had this rant before with my spirit etiquette post and I will probably get on this soap box again,,, why do people get into ghost stuff if they cant handle actually getting results????

and yes I know things are scary in the moment. I've been grabbed, punched, poked, all that from ghosts, had doors close, music boxes play on their own, lights blow out, stuff fly off counters... but like I asked, and I encourage my spirits to live in the house WITH me. so even though it makes.l be scary to see a pair ghost shoes walk up the steps,,, I still think them for showing up and move on with my life. this is why y'all gotta do shadow work and face your fears

[anxiouspotatorants]

So I finally watched 6.08 in its entirety and of course I have my two cents on the (in)famous “WhY did you DROP out of YALE” speech:

From what I’ve gathered, some people seem to think Jess saved Rory with that speech and that there was no way she was going back to Yale without it. I’ve also seen mutterings about how Jess’ speech was rude and presumptous and that Rory would have gone back regardless of Jess’ presence. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

There’s no denying that things in the dropout life were piling up for Rory. Moving in to the main house had her dealing with Emily’s surveillance in full force, she was spending most of her time organizing events she had no interest in and driving her drunk boyfriend and his drunk friends home in the night, and she was shown to miss academic life several times. Richard and Emily had started fighting over whether they had taken the right path for getting Rory back into Yale, and Lorelai insisted that Rory would find her way eventually. Something was going to happen at some point.

But returning to Yale wasn’t guaranteed. Not because I think Jess was the only one who could get her back to Yale specifically, but because re-enrolling was a time-sensitive issue. Without someone to give her some kind of rant, Rory could very well have sunk deeper into a hedonistic route with Logan, or waited too long for re-enrollment and had to apply elsewhere. She’d still get somewhere, but it would take significantly more time.

So she needed someone to shake her furiously for two minutes begging her to figure out what she wanted to do. In theory, that person could be any significant character on the show, but when you add in context, the list narrows down a lot: 

We were shown multiple times that Lorelai wasn’t going to be the person because they were at a test of their relationship and Rory was doubting her mother’s judgement.

Luke wasn’t going to do anything like that without Lorelai’s OK.

Richard and Emily would only be able to convince Rory with financial extortion, and that would ruin the relationship they fought so hard to keep with Rory.

While Logan was her boyfriend at the time, he was also the person who had known her for the least amount of time. He would also have been accused of hypocricy by Rory due to how he probably would’ve dropped out if he could too (or at least acted like it during season 5 and early season 6).

Paris’ opinions on Rory’s life decisions tend to be written as jokes, so even if what she said made sense, Rory probably wouldn’t have taken it seriously. At best, Paris’ words could become support to an argument made by someone else.

While Lane could’ve been an interesting choice (especially since she’s Rory’s oldest friend and arguably knows her in ways not even Lorelai or any of the boyfriends do), she’s never established as truly questioning of Rory’s life decisions. The only real fight they have is over Rory spending too much time with Dean in season 1, but other than that Lane tends to support Rory with any decision she makes.

Dean had kind of lost any sway he had with Rory by the final breakup. Him warning Rory over half a season before she actually dropped out would’ve been possessive (considering he could only warn her about Logan and the LDB), and the breakup showed that he essentially gave up on fitting into the elder Gilmore world or helping Rory make her own.

Which leaves us with Jess. There are multiple reasons why Jess ends up working. The first is the fact that they haven’t seen each other in ages. While everyone else has seen the slow descent, Jess comes in having last seen Rory doing just fine at Yale and getting close with Dean again. He’s missed a lot, and realizing that helps Rory understand just how much she’s changed. Second: he comes back improved. A lot of people have already pointed this out, but Jess actually becoming a writer and making something out of himself essentially proves to Rory that she was right about something everyone else that she was wrong about. It also shows her that it’s possible to come out of the lowest lows up to doing something you love. And finally: Jess has a history of telling things like they are. He demanded clarification at the start of season 3 when Rory still dated Dean after their kiss. He had multiple complex fights with Luke. And he also knew how to be supportive without being a blind cheerleader (see: the car scene in season 2). Rory has known Jess long enough to understand that he isn’t trying to be malicious, and also long enough to know that he does actually know her. It’s not so much that he knows her better than everyone else as much as the combination of how close they once were, how time shows the shifts in her life, and how Jess’ glow up can inspire her.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Tonal Whiplash

Ok, y'all...the freaking NUMBER of things I've heard about this novella. I've heard that it's an adorable fluffy Christmas book. I've heard it's utter trash and should be skipped. How did nobody mention the goddamn tonal whiplash???

Also, as a gal raised in Alaska...I'm kind of not psyched about the elision of solstice and Christmas. Those are two different things. And then Feyre gets is mega super special because it's ALSO her birthday. I almost headdesked into oblivion over that, not gonna lie. Ok, enough intro, let's talk A Court of Frost and Starlight.

I guess I'll put my usual SPOILER WARNING here, but honestly? My TLDR is just skip this one, so do you where spoilers are concerned.

This is also going to be a rant review, so if you loved this book, I respectfully recommend that you give this review a pass. You're not going to have a good time.

So...there's an outside chance that the fact that I read A Court of Silver Flames before ACOFS colored how repetitive and flat this book felt, because with very few exceptions, all the Nessian stuff in this book is repeated information. Like...we got the fleshed-out scenes of Nesta at the party, and we are told that yes, Cassian knows about the drinking and the sex. But otherwise...this is just kind of unnecessary expansion on what we got in ACOSF. And it wasn't even SATISFYING because there was no resolution, there was just a deeply wounded Nesta and a bunch of people who can see there's a problem but who aren't helping--and in a lot of cases (glares in Rhys and Amren) are actively judging.

Also, I'm a grown-ass adult, and I have enough family awkwardness at holidays in real life, I SUPER DID NOT NEED IT in a romantasy series. I fully admit this is a me issue, so your mileage may vary. I also can't say that I didn't think Feyre and Rhys were pushing so hard for a happy solstice that it pole vaulted over the line of toxic positivity and weirdly toxic expectations. If I have to give Rhys the benefit of any doubt, I suppose yes, he might be dealing with some under the mountain trauma about, as Feyre thinks, whatever Amarantha did to him for almost 50 years, and probably trauma from literally dying at the end of the war with Hybern. But um...expecting the entire inner circle and their SO's and siblings to behave exactly how he wants them to for this holiday is STILL TOXIC. You kind of don't get to decide that YOU need EVERYONE ELSE to behave in or feel a specific way just so that you feel better. Az and Cass also do a little bit of this related to their own traumas, but Rhys is far an away the worse offender in this particular instance.

In a plot structure kind of way, I can see what the novella was trying to do. It's totally fair to say that people's experiences and trauma can and do color how they feel and behave and how they perceive and experience holidays. That's a valid thing to explore. And honestly, after ACOWAR, we needed some time for these characters to work through their experiences and trauma. Unfortunately, we kinda don't actually get that??? We just get this slice of life of traumatized toxicity at a massive holiday.

We do get a little bit of Feyre...figuring out her painting hangup and deciding to art therapy Velaris's kids, and again, in principle, this is a very valid thing to spend time and space exploring. The execution just...wasn't there for me. The weaver who made hope in the void was more interesting to me than Feyre's working through her trauma via creativity.

The Elain, Azriel, Lucien thing was...actively awkward and painful, which I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be, so Nailed It.

Mor had exactly one question about herself in this book and honestly nothing else to do. Talk about squandered character potential. At some point she actually needs to DEAL with her shit with Eris and her father (and by extension Az and Cass), but we just...aren't. So at this point deal with it or move on, and I don't care which.

The annual snowball fight was clearly supposed to be endearing and childlike. That might have landed a little better if Mor and Feyre weren't over here actively side-eying it, because I agreed with them that it was almost too stupid for words.

Also...Feyre remains a dick to Luciens. He is TELLING YOU THAT HE FEELS DISCONNECTED AND KICKED OUT, FEYRE, and you're over here going "omfg what even is this exiles bullshit?" This is also part of why Nesta is going to spend the whole next book building a girl squad that has nothing to do with the inner circle, because this attitude of "everything that ISN'T the inner circle is inherently lesser" is really high-handed and arrogant.

Add to that Rhys being an absolute dick to Tamlin while he's CLEARLY not ok and I'm not like...terribly sympathetic to the 500-year old high lord who was trained to lead judging a guy with no support for doing his best and fucking shit up. Rhys and Tamlin need to go to neutral corners and never contact again; that's just going to need to be the new status quo. The whole "protective male" bullshit has officially gone too far.

We did not need a full page around Amren disliking having to pee. I'm sorry, we just didn't.

So overall...I kind of wish I'd skipped this book. I got tonal whiplash, I got "oh god too real" about awkward family gatherings at holidays, and I got "holy shit, someone SEE that Nesta needs support," without real closure on any of it. The only closure we got was Feyre tying off the suriel's last words and flip flopping on whether or not she wants to be all barefoot and pregnant. I did not enjoy this book. I understand its utility, but the execution did not make the utility worthwhile in my opinion.

[thetobiroppofan]

one piece rant #1: the gay evil pronoun

im nervous to start this off cause what if some random incel comes in saying "erm snort actually this is wrong" like go kiss my ass basement dweller I am a 15 year old trans boy do not fw me yu dcikhead :(

anyways I wanna talk abt doflamingo today

Doflamingo's honestly a great villain, in my opinion. This is WAYY different than like.. a great person. He serves as a good driving force for the plot and I think he like is honestly kinda well-written. I mean, the guy's morals and stuff are downright despicable as expected of a villain. I don't know how to add gifs I forogt

ok so I figured it out woohoo anyways

Starting off, his backstory is honestly fuckin' sad as hell understandably, I mean obviously he's still a dickhead I mean like one of the first panels of him going down there was "where are the slaves lets buy some"

little ugly fuck........... anyways

Quick explanation for anyone reading who a. doesn't know his backstory or b. just wants to read; Doflamingo's family was originally celestial dragons (a whole society 'above' the rest of civilization, generally they're hated by the public but their word goes above anyone elses, even the Marines at times, so people have to keep their shit together) but his father decided to move down to the real world as regular nobles.

yeah so that was a bad idea.

his family was borderline fuckin JUMPED over their former status as world nobles, and were forced into poverty, his mom died, and yada yada he shot and killed his own dad and joined the pirate life. I'm just rereading one piece again after a 2 month break, on alabasta, so details might be off do NOT take my word for granted chat

but like you get the gist, former noble goes down to civilization, is tortured, gets inducted into the pirate life, etc

the reason he was inducted was through trebol, since he saw young doffy and went "yeah that kids got potential" and not in the drake way

Trebol's the guy on the left, the uglier one

yeah so basically over the course of dressrosa (The arc where doflamingos the main villain), we learn more tidbits about his actions like how he took the head of his father back up to the home of the world nobles and asked to rejoin the celestial dragons (he was obviously rejected) and ykw I forgot to mention: doflamingo has a BROTHER. his name is Rosinante, and he's a great guy but he ends up working for doflamingo (spoiler alert: he's not actually there to be a good brother he is a spy) but over the course of the backstory, Doflamingo's newest member, a young Trafalgar d. water law

yeah he's lowk ugly as a kid but it doesn't change much when he grows up

side note: I love how ugly some op kids are like its just funny anyways this isn't abt law that's a whole other rant

anyways so law joins the donquixote pirates (Doflamingo named it after his last name, donquixote) and I'll talk more abt law's stuff later in another rant along with Rosinante (doflamingos brother) however all you need to know ATM in this rant is 1. Rosinante and Law leave to find a cure for laws disease+rosi discovered law has 'The Will of D.' (I'll need to explain that later wont I) 2. Rosinante already ate a devil fruit and if u weren't aware already u cant eat two dfs or else you DIE

happy father son bonding moment

oh btw

During their time out, Rosinante and Law get a call from doflamingo telling them to come back so Rosinante can eat this devil fruit doffy planned to steal called the ope-ope no mi (remember what I told u sister.) so he can cure law

yeah so

since rosinantes a marine he stops that, and hides law in a chest after forcefeeding him the devil fruit and skipskip andddd oh no

OH FUCK!!!!!!!!! ROSINANTE DIED.

oh btw you see the unshaded bright white chest RIGHT behind him

you'll never guess who's hiding there.

tragedy strikes.

but this ain't abt two tragic found family LOSERS (i don't mean this I love them both guys please I have a law Funko and plush I'm a mother) this is abt evil incarnate right here in a bright pink feathery coat and fuckass glasses

anywyas law goes on the run finds his crew this ain't abt him we're focusing back on doffy

so like skipping allat stuff we are now in the time when doflamingo says "fuck it" and decides oh yeah lets take over

an entire kingdom

thats what normal pirates do anyways.

So using his devil fruit the Ito Ito No Mi (which allows him to manipulate strings, allowing him to be like spiderman and also be a puppeteer which btw that reflects his char so much like gyattdamn!) he demands a beri sum of like 10 billion for this king to have his nation left alone before he like takes over him, puppeteering him to slaughter his own people before coming to the rescue yadadyadyaydyaydyaydaydysyay8dy8

so yeah

he takes over dressrosa, actingg as a 'hero' and he and his crew rule over the kingdom now

I don't think I've talked abt sugar yet but she can turn people into toys and form contracts, and that's what she basicallyy did with people who either a. doflamingo didn't like or b. spoke out against the pink feathered fuck

thats part 1 for now mainly just a backstory dump

i am insane

thanks for reading chat this has been a Quinn tm rant

[mixedkid-matchup]

you do not have to answer this!! I'm using you to confess my dubious feelings for the Percy Jackson series bc you also expressed like some weird feelings about it, and I kind of thought the series was untouchable bc of how much everyone I see fawns over it, and I have GOT to get this off my chest to someone who might get what I'm saying. But I have major issues with the writing/premise/series bc it's just feels so deeply colonized and it's bothered me since it FIRST came out and everyone in middle school and high school was reading it and teachers were assigning it. Like the whole premise for the Greek gods being in the US is that they follow Western "progress" and it completely disregards all the amazing things Indigenous did and our way of life, and also removes the importance of place-based culture for both Greek stories and Native peoples (like okay all the Greek stuff moved to the U.S. but wth happened to all our spiritual figures?? The story completelya cts like Native people weren't here and didn't have complex beliefs and ways of life connected to the land, and the gods were just free to take over here with no issues). As a mixed Indigenous kid it just rubs me wrong in all the worst ways and the academic systems love affair with Greek and Roman stuff and Rick Riordan's sheer popularity has been forcing this stuff in my face foreveeeerrrr 😭😭 I was surprised to see your tags about the fandom being weird before too tho since I don't interact with it, so I hope you don't mind this ask and just know I kinda feel the same way!! Ok thanks bye sorry for the rant.

BRO I HAVE HAD THIS RANT ON HAND FOR A LONG TIME ITS OKAY!!!!!!!!!

I THINK IF HEARD ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY. but you explained it way better. like when i first read percy jackson ok fine i was 11, i obviously caught onto the ableism and such but i did not catch onto this until i thought about it when i got older. you're super right. the whole thing about ww2 being caused by demigods was the weirdest shit ever i literally did not remember reading it until i read lightning thief again last year. why did hitler need to be child of hades. THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY HOW PERCY DESCRIBES HADES WHEN HE SEES HIM. LOOKING LIKE HITLER. then what you're saying how they move with the places that are the most progressive and basically take over..... like it's just ..... incredibly misplaced and insensitive.

but about the fandom being weird (its literally encouraged by riordan's book tbh), in heroes of olympus, hazel is a black girl from lousiana in the 1930s?? or 40s idk anyways i think she dies and then nico brings her back. whatever, everyone draws her lightskin and with orange hair, and super skinny, (which she's from louisana. shes darkskin and does not have "caramel" hair i hate white men sometimes.) and shes like 13 btw and in a relationship with frank whos like 16. weird as hell and everyone thinks theyre so sweet. and also rick cannot write meaningful young women. and especially not girls of color. like its WEIRD how piper is portrayed as some pick me girl she constantly feels the need to express shes not like the Aphrodite girls. and rick had to make it weird with aphrodite anyway by making them a whole stereotype of snobby boys and girls who love putting on makeup. they had drew, an asian girl & counselor of aphrodite, straight up mean to piper bc she likes jason. like for no other reason. drew only wants to participate and go on the quest because of jason. and other stereotypes like making leo, latine, be super flirty.

and lets really talk about how annoying annabeth was about the blondes are dumb stereotype because, girl we can talk about misogyny and people not letting you do things because of it, but lets also talk about how you are TWELVE, and the blonde stereotype is tired. i never liked annabeth, she was really tone deaf as someone whos half black. OH AND FRANK. they had this weird ass arc where they implied he was fat because of lack of confidence? like when he got confident he, lost weight... because of a blessing of mars? i dont even know.

like as i get older its more and more annoying to see it. i literally rolled my eyes when i saw rick talking about colorblind casting when people got mad about annabeth. he could of said anything else. how this could reconceptualize annabeth's arc around misogyny and now racism. and purposely alter her character to fit this new black annabeth. but no. people treat colorblind casting as a pinnacle of progressiveness.

[septembermorningbells]

personal life rant under the cut sorry the quickest therapy appointment i could get was monday

okay this is fundamentally so unserious. but it has been driving me absolutely bonkers and i cannot really tell my friends about it without also driving THEM crazy also its juvenile but. here.

ok so quick lore update the girl who made me realize I was gay is one of my best friends and i met her when she directed a play i was in freshman year. this is important. realized my feelings sophmore spring and I eventually told her how I felt the fall of my junior year, when i was in another one of her plays, and she kind of flipped out bc she was studying abroad that next semester and I don't think she was in an emotional places to process everything. it was very unclear whether she actually returned my feelings and she never told me but it was a resounding 'lets just be friends!!!' regardless. after we fought for a month 🤪

ANYWAYS the next semester she goes abroad and we continue texting like every day but i eventually kind of get over it and i still love her but it transitions a bit. She comes back and we are closer than ever in the fall, we do so many things together and basically keep developing our already very close friendship.

now it's senior spring. she applied for a grant that would take her to grad school in england and of course I assumed she would get it bc she is like fantastically talented. i have briefly dated other people in the period in between but nothing really worked out and so i just resign myself to the fate of just hanging out with my friends and actually looking for love ugh when I move in september. but also at this point i know im kind of still in love with her so i was like 'enjoy this time with her because its our last semester in college and we are never getting this time back etc' and even though i want her in my life forever i knew it would be SO hard to see her go and move to another country for a while and maybe date other people. so i figured she would move and i would cry and be torn up but i would get over it. also, in the meantime, I have been entering into a bit of a flirtation with a girl we have both known for a long time (who is lovely) basically as a distraction but we both knew that it was NOT serious.

also for context: the friend is directing ANOTHER play right now that both me and flirtation girl are in. we are playing love interests.

so last wednesday she found out she didn't get the grant. me and our very good mutual friend (calling her X she will play a role later, she is also very very close with the girl lol) are SHOCKED. this means she will likely be with us on the east coast of the US with us. the following night, I go to a party with X, our friends, and the girl i have been flirting with. She makes a move on me at the party, which i wasn't quite expecting bc the play is ongoing and I am worried about making rehearsal awkward but i was like 'ok fuck it i guess isnt this what i set up i made my bed'

THEN X pulls me aside and is like 'grace wtf are you doing' and i said 'you literally knew about this and its not serious, why are you mad' and X says 'grace, she's not going to england', basically implying something about my friend and me. naturally, I freak out. I blow off the flirtation friend and basically spiral for the rest of the night and weekend. I eventually make X talk to me bc WTF

okay so the entire problem is that X can't say too much without compromising my friend which is fair. but basically X validated YEARS worth of feelings that me and my friend do not have a normal relationship, we have basically been dating for who knows how long, and heavily implied that after she found out i made out with the girl at the party she was jealous. after year(s?) of repressing my feelings this revelation obviously made me insane. BUT X was like 'you guys need to talk but you should probably wait until the play is over to do it' which is in THREE WEEKS. she said it maybe wasn't necessary but she obviously can't say too much to me and I feel bad putting her in this position but also WHAT. WHAT.

okay so. I feel like there's been a chip made in the side of the hoover dam of my fucking repression and i am having such crazy feelings and I can't really express them. I know my friend would probably prefer that we wait bc she takes her shows very very seriously (something i love about her!! so much!!!) but also we graduate in a month and i don't know if i can just not talk about what's going on for that long. also there is a fair chance we talk and we still have to just be friends which would kind of murder me (oh context her mother is like very homophobic and until this year she has been SO wary of relationships which i thought was permanent lol until X told me many repeated times that 'now it is different' WHAT DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN) but i would almost want to get that over with now????????? jesus christ.

to make things worse we are, as i stated before, graduating and so emotions are just running very high in general. we need to have this talk but I also want to have it at the right moment so things don't go to shit. but i have had a very hard time concentrating on anything. will be back to buisness soon but until then. jesus christ. just pray for me at this point idk what else to say