#ok maybe it's not the *reason* as i'm not in the creators' brain but it's a funny thing to realize i think

[russian-rowlette]

7, 11 and 16 for the fandom meme?

7. your favorite tropes to read/write/draw

for some reason i seem to be obsessed with drawings of characters nodding off together or even sleep piles. i say that never drawing one myself, only imagining.... it just.. gives a feeling of peace, you know?

i love illustrations of character interactions, mundane situations, things that make characters bond or butt heads, little day-to-day things that help you learn more about them bit by bit

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

i think this drawing from 2022 still holds up.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

took me a minute to think of something and it's bakugaiden but here we go

the reason kiirobon's biidaron, ponycorn, is a unicorn, is because in japanese horse neighing is "hihiin", which sounds like laughing. and ponycorn is the only one who laughs at kiiro's jokes

[the-one-who-lambs]

ok here's the essay

So. How much evidence is there that the Fanatic was the god of knowledge before Shamura? Not much. The game is deliberately vague on what exactly the Fanatic was the god of, but there's just enough crumbs to point in that direction. They tell the Lamb they are waiting for "one who values truth over all else" and in tablet II they pray to the Great Ones for understanding. They also give the Lamb the snake follower form; the serpent tempts Eve to eat from the tree of *knowledge* of good and evil, so the symbolism is there.

The smoking gun for me, though, is the early unused version of tablet X.

"I am shamed, shamed. I deserve no forgiveness. I deserve to die here, shrouded in sin. I renounced the First Gods. How easily pain made a defector of me. I will take whatever punishment is due, but I beg you, reader of these chronicles, remember: they call their faith old, but they are nothing more than heretics. He of havoc, he of blight; she of hunger, they of might. He that lays a soul to rest; five remain of hundreds blessed."

From there we can infer a few things:

The bishops obviously did Something to the Fanatic.

The Fanatic had to be tortured into going along with whatever that Something was. It wasn't just inflicted on them, their cooperation was needed somehow, possibly as part of a ritual or spell.

It didn't kill them. They even managed to get out one last tablet afterward.

We never find out what exactly it was; the Fanatic only describes it as having "renounced the First Gods".

By the time the story starts, the Fanatic isn't around anymore. We hear their voice but that's it.

We know that gods in the COTL universe canonically leave behind a "lingering presence". That lingering presence can persist even if the god loses the Crown and becomes a mortal, or even dies as a mortal; this is what happens with the bishops.

Tablet IX and the Offering to the Owl also heavily imply Haro was once a god of hunting, who willingly relinquished the title for unknown reasons. Maybe this is what the Fanatic meant by "the Owl has chosen a different tact"; giving up their proper godhood, leaving them with their weaker current form (notably, Haro's crown has a crossed-out eye, like it's "dead").

From Ancient Tablet IX: "[…] for regardless of what they threaten, I shall never relinquish my beliefs."

In tablet VIII, the Fanatic refers to their crown as "the blessing of the First at my brow". HMM.

In tablet VII we learn Shamura approached the Fanatic seeking their allegiance, but was turned away. HMMMMMMMMM.

IF, indeed, Shamura found a way to take domain over knowledge from its rightful owner, in addition to already having domain over war, that would add a whole new layer of thematic resonance to their story. The creators have said a big theme in COTL is that those who try to deviate from their nature are usually punished by the universe. Shamura getting greedy, claiming another god's domain in addition to their own, their newfound domain over knowledge leading them to encourage Narinder's experiments, and it all blowing up in their face catastrophically… their descent into madness makes a nice parallel with Chemach also

tl;dr: ITS REAL. I FIGURED IT OUT, ITS REAL, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE M

This is SO interesting and I'm frying my brain trying to comprehend this in all its glory while I watch @linkerbell draw one of the most cursed images i've ever seen

OKAY BUT HARO GOD OF THE HUNT YEAH SHAKES HAND SHAKES HAND

[blocksruinedme]

(hi there! sorry if this is disrespectful or anything, feel free to delete this ask! i was just concerned because in the comments of jimmy's recent videos, it seems that he might make a video reacting to fanfictions...

very concerning! especially because it seems like he didn't contact the creators of the edits in newest video beforehand. no offense to him, but i genuinely do not trust him to handle fanfiction in a respectful way. he's very hard-working, but he's getting dangerously content-brained!

anyways, the reason i'm sending this ask to you is because you seem to frequent his streams a lot. VERY sorry if this is disrespectful to ask, but if you do attend his next stream, is it ok to ask that you try and send a message in his chat? i would myself, but he streams after midnight where i live T^T i really hope that someone well-versed in the rules of fandom spaces (maybe scott (ｰ ｰ;) ) can talk him out of it, but i would be very grateful if any chatters could discourage him during his next live.

thank you very much for reading!!)

-a shy chinese anon who experienced the banning of ao3 in china because fans of a celebrity mass-reported an rpf fic to the government :<

(Hey shy anon, I didn't show up until a little after the ban, but I was on the english side of that fandom so i know a lot. my eternal condolences, I'll never stop being upset about what happened!)

It is not at all disrespectful to ask politely, which you have! I am not going to send a message in his chat because it is an absolute hellhole, but people I know have left thoughtful comments on his youtube, which I think is 20x more useful. He sees those in his own time and can think about it. Chat is running nonstop, super fast, you get instant reaction in the chat from all kinds of sorts - seriously i love jimmy and i have nothing against younger people, but holy hell that chat is mostly intolerable to read. Most streams I don't even have it visible. Jimmy has very little time to think in response to chat messages, it can't be nuanced, and the first thing he says is now public record.

Overall, I don't think Jimmy will react to fanfic. If he does (and I've been wrong predicting Jimmy before!), it's going to be something like Wholesome Seablings Adventures. I can not imagine Jimmy reading ship fic - unless I guess it's incredibly pg canon-ship? There's all kinds of "pg youtubers", and Jimmy's more on the Katherine side of thing, appealing to families and genuinely little kids. If you look at the saucy things he lets in, you generally need some real non-pg context for it to feel non-pg. (there's always exceptions)

When people demand he address shipping he tries to say as little as possible. He's been shown nsfw fanart while he was streaming. He knows what is going on and he's not going to touch that. He's thoughtful when it counts, and since these aren't stream reacts, he has time to think hard about what he's actually going to use. So if he did do fanfic, there would be plenty of never seen footage of Jimmy of going "holy moly!" and moving on. When it matters, he is generally thoughtful and respectful.

Like the time he realized he was confused about asexuality (he didn't know about aromanticism) and slowed down to be really careful he didn't say anything accidentally hurtful. (for context shelby is ace but dates and he knows that. look at his poor little face trying to understand.)

Maybe he'll mess up this time, I sure hope not, but I'm not personally freaking out.

Also, exactly one time he opened tumblr on stream, it was the sexyman poll, and he read my reply to the post (i'm the one who called him a wet paper bag of a man, my claim to fame.) I showed up to apologize, he was a sweetheart, and he said this about tumblr, that he knows we want our own private space. He's respectful at heart.

I am not on tiktok, but until your ask, I'll admit it never occurred to me he might contact the creators before reacting. Thinking on it, I guess I think of TikTok like youtube, where it is loudly tossed out at the whole world for attention, but I'm not on TikTok.

And why do I think ao3 is different? Well, I have no coherent answer besides "vibes" and "more contained audience" and "everyone knows everyone is on youtube and tiktok".

Here are some more Jimmy clips I've wanted to share on tumblr for one reason or another.

In the end, I have been hyperfixating on this man for sixteen months and I believe it'll be okay. If I'm wrong, well. We'll make it through this, gang. We'll take care of each other and keep going. Nothing's stopped us yet!

If you want to say something to Jimmy, leave a yt comment, don't go into his stream, please, not there, you'll just provoke people and he might have to respond to that, please

Everyone out there who read ao3 not logged in - go log in, people are locking things.

People on ao3, lock or don't lock, as you see fit!

(also joel lizzie and oli did fanfic readings/reenactments/whatever years ago, including writing their own snippets, i got through like 90 seconds of one, youtube at your own risk.)

[persy-r-bozo]

So i wanna yap about interpretations n jazz but I'm anxious so I'm going to do this day by day.

World interpretations!

Ok so a start off might be the fact i don't think the trio are humans. And my reasoning.

I just think humans are boring. lol

The idea of a puppet world where everyone is born colorful yet the humanity of just being a living being sucking the creativity and making the world "Normal" is such an interesting view i had when i first watched it. so many metaphors and ways people can relate to a subject like that is just so addicting to me.

of course lets make it clear, people who see them as humans or a human world or dead are chill. its also an interesting subject. just not as fun to me personally.

when it comes to the puppets world i genuinely think its less what it is and more what make sense to the viewer or makes the viewer more happy/comfortable

that's the thing about this show.

nobody watched the same one i think.

Yeah some folks may have the same theory or head cannons. but there will be little differences.

we were all given the same blank coloring sheet by Beaky and Joe. but we all colored it differently. some lines were messy some colors were different some just did whatever and some maybe even just left it blank.

either way i think the creators happily put them all the their comically large fridge to look at.

sorry for the lil happy rant at the end there. :]

i hope i get to yap about this show more here and be silly.

get rid of the pesky worm in my brain.

[thelemoncoffee]

Ok so you seem to like Ouma x Video Games HCs or AUs. Here's an AU pitch I was GOING to write, but accidentally got distracted and started writing a magical girl (Boy) Saiou AU (Do not fw me on this I'm a slut for magical girl AUs)

Saiou AU, obviously (I have to include them for A. Publicity and B. I love them).

Shuichi and Kokichi meet when they're like super young (age 5-8 preferred). The two bond over video games, puzzles, and board games (and theories for video games) for years, and eventually decide to start a yt channel after they meet Kaede. Shuichi and Kokichi decide to remain faceless because honestly, I don't know why these two (who like privacy from what I've analyzed about them) would want to be recognized. Anyways, the channel with the two goes off without a hitch, and they gradually gain subscribers because they're awesome (They fw each other way too much and it's funny) and also gradually start helping the V3 cast, who they meet through school also start channels because they all like playing games together.

(You=Anyone who wants to write this)

Now, my personal way to go about this is that Saiou is already dating. But, if you want it to be about a get-together, go ahead. I live for those fics, too. Or, alternatively, (my personal idea for this pitch) you could write about a face reveal. It'd be like everyone else has already face revealed, and now the only ppl left are these two. Their place on the internet (Lets be honest, it's probably just YT) is like MatPat. Everyone in this day and age knows them. They're like household name. They could do theory videos, gaming videos, and stuff like that. (The two fit GTLive so well, LMAO)

Lmk if you'd fw this, maybe I'll write it. I don't know. I'm hyper focused on my magical girl (boy) AU rn, so I gotta get my attention gradually back onto that.

fuck yes this is great! it's been a while since igot an au in my inbox and i am looking so hard. you are right in your assement of my enjoyment of Kokichi and viddy games, and i also love the idea of him being a faceless content creator

i don't think it ever occured to me to make him a massive youtuber on level with game theory before (probably because i tend to like thinking more small and niche with my Kokichi hcs) but the concept of him and Shuichi doing youtube together as a faceless duo and getting stupid popular slaps. i can only imagine how many close calls they've had with getting cancled because Kokichi is just Like That™ tho

when you described them as being the only two faceless ones with Kaede also being part of the crew, my brain instantly gave me the imagry of the three of them all sitting at a table for a video together and Kaede is just chillin smiling and stuff with saiouma on either side of her with their faces covered by masks. the only reason i went masks and not just them not doing irl videos is because i just know Kokichi would use his clown mask

[fuckmeyer]

HEY i'm having unhinged carlisle/edward thoughts again and i had to come into your inbox to share them because YOU DID THIS TO ME--

but truly. like. the bond between creator and created. (this may or may not have been inspired by a conversation with su-angelvicioso about yknow. a different ship) the creator recognizes themself in the created, the created knows the creator because they were shaped so fundamentally by them...so any time they're looking at the other person they're seeing themself, but also any time they see themself they're seeing the other...there's no way to define yourself except in the differences and similarities you have to this person who you know more intimately than anyone else in the world, except really your view of them will ALWAYS be distorted by your view of yourself...like!!!!

edward thinks carlisle is perfect because he thinks of himself as a monster. carlisle thinks edward is the best of all of them, the reason to believe vampires have souls, because it's the only way for him NOT to believe he himself is a monster!!! edward hates and fears carlisle for being a standard he can never measure up to, but he loves him because he is that standard, and he keeps forgiving him...but maybe actually the forgiveness just makes him hate carlisle MORE because edward doesn't WANT to be forgiven!!! carlisle thinks of edward as his own redemption, but that means he'll never actually fully see edward and he can't actually forgive him in a meaningful way!!! they're obsessed with each other, but neither one of them can actually express that to the other!!!!!!! holy FUCK they're a MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(sorry this is not even a question, my brain is just scrambled eggs about them now apparently)

THIS IS IT I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE SPACE TO TALK ABOUT CARLWARD I SWEAR I AM GOING A LITTLE FERAL OVER THIS SHIP? FORGIVE ME THIS ASK SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE POIGNANT BUT IM JUST GONNA SAY STUFF OK

THE BOND BETWEEN CREATOR AND CREATED!!!! YES!!!!!!!

the creator recognizes themself in the created, the created knows the creator because they were shaped so fundamentally by them. [...] your view of them will ALWAYS be distorted by your view of yourself

and isn't it just so beautiful when we put Carlisle & Edward's canon relationship in this context! i wrote this in another post but:

Carlisle believes Heaven exists because of Edward.

Heaven is not a place for the damned creatures like vampires, but a place for humanity.

which means!!!! Carlisle has chosen to see his own humanity in his son. for all it entails. its light, its shadows, all the shades of gray in between. and, yes!, the scary thing is, this is the only way Carlisle can believe he himself is not a monster - to see his progeny thrive within Carlisle's philosophy.

but the beautiful thing is he accepts Edward. he loves Edward. always. no matter what. & this is what allows him to participate in society, to take the Hippocratic Oath, to live a life of vegetarianism: Carlisle loves humanity in all its forms, BECAUSE OF AND IN SPITE OF EDWARD.

and Edward!!! Edward is the physical manifestation of Carlisle's beliefs. for better or worse. on the surface, Edward is a vegetarian vampire, med school grad, etc., and who wants to believe in the value of human life. (he doesn't always live up to this in day-to-day interactions obvi.)

on a deeper level, he has grappled with questions re: humanity, especially his place within his preconceived idea of Humanity. he considers himself damned, just as Carlisle does. (perhaps, even, the darkest part of Carlisle doubts the existence of his own soul.) he spends the entire series rebelling against the idea of his soul & his worthiness of love while battling his own monstrous nature.

but unlike Carlisle, Edward has actually gone out and tested these ideas. can i still have a soul if i'm a vampire? can i still be human if i kill bad people? can i still be human if i take away life? can i still be human if i do x, think y, say z?

because Carlisle doesn't necessarily have the space to do what Edward did. not just because of his busy schedule as a doctor, but his coping mechanisms, his compartmentalization required to live this vegetarian life, his religion (/religious trauma?), & his position as a coven leader do not afford him the luxury of testing these ideas himself.

at the end of the day, Carlisle can never do what Edward did. if Carlisle is going to 'save' other vampires, he needs to be (at least outwardly) secure in the notion that he has saved himself. even if he isn't.

Edward can go further, dig deeper, and that allows Carlisle to go further, too.

and in that context, god, how beautiful is it that Carlisle just has this unwavering, unconditional acceptance of Edward? that through the darkness and mistakes, there is something worth loving? that through this acceptance, Edward finds his soul in the end?

like, the breakdown of the relationship is:

to Edward, Carlisle is a god.

to Carlisle, Edward is a man, i.e., a disciple of his teachings.

& in that context, how beautiful is it that, baseline, Carlisle & Edward share this deep, spiritual love for each other that will never be broken? FUCK that hits

[stevebabey]

You don't have to answer this I'm just gonna bitch in your inbox about the x reader post you made because I felt this in my bones.

Like you really can't go in the tag for quality stuff lately. Everything is about sex. I'm not a prude. I read occasionally stuff, but omg, not everything has to be like this. Sometimes stories begin hopeful, but they end the same way. I'm just sick of it because it's all there is. And because it's so oversaturated, "normal" fics don't stand a chance because people don't click on that anymore. So yeah, as a creator, if I wanna get attention for my work, of course, I will produce stuff that people will read.

Also what you said about minors, how are they supposed to interact with fics if everything is porn.

In general, people are sooo fixated on "spicy" content. On tiktok, all people read is smut, or they can't handle other stuff. Literally, smut destroyed their brains. How is it any different than guys having a porn addiction?

Also, the tumblr tagging and searching functions are shit. I wanna find new fics from like 2020 or 2021 (before s4 bc I miss those vibes). When you go to the popular tag thing, the earliest you get is 2022. Like tumblr needs to fix that, so content from years ago can still be found. People also need to start tagging accordingly. It's such a pain.

Again sorry for the rant.

HOHOHOHOHO NO APOLOGIES NEEDED NONNIE i love having a bitch and being on my hater shit and i think more people than you might think agree with all of this + its a whole buncha opinions under the cut u have been warned

to some degree to decrease in quality fics will be due to the lull between seasons which always happens- some of the fantastic writers move onto other obsessions for the mean time and truly, i can't fault them for that.

but yet somehow i know it's more than just that - a smut piece will get more attention and notes regardless of the quality of the fic. it's so tough to complain about cos like sigh its all free writing produced by someone so to moan and bitch about stuff getting more attention than others is like. not very nice and being hypercritical but also

not everyone wants to read smut!! and its fuckin everywhere!! wouldn't it be darling if there could simply be a tag that was smut free but noooooo every post gets tagged with as many fuckin things as possible for 'reach' which is the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard before

and ur absolutely right, because of it fics with no smut get drowned before they get a chance to get noticed. and sorry to say it, but its very rarely that i've read a fluff piece and been like ah, that seemed like it was just thrown together like no its always crafted to some degree- but i cannot say the same for smut in the least. again, often u can mentally sub in different characters and the fic still works which to me = bad writing (if its a steve fic i shouldn't be able to slot in eddie and have it work? ok cos then its not a STEVE fic its just a porn fantasy which is like fine but GOD this is a whole nother can of worms but if u just write smut and then cycle thru joe keery characters its like half a step from writing rpf cos its obvious u just think he's a hot guy and not so much into his characters 😭 maybe im being autistic levels of protective over my lil guy but i also think im right lmao)

and ough trying to write for an audience is so hard, its a vicious cycle of: wants to produce content ppl will read and interact with -> doesn't enjoy writing it as much -> writing isn't as good as u know it could be -> if it flops for whatever reason u feel like asshole. anon babey please dear god write the ideas you want to <3 i can promise you they will be 100x better than trying to cater to an invisible audience ! ppl follow you for your writing !!! and feel free to tag me!!!! i always want to read good steve x reader fics!!! (i just can't be assed hunting them down half the time)

the minors thing is just. god its - i remember hearing the phrase 'virgins write the best smut' and it was when i was 14 and now im like god don't say that they write like porn cos they have fuck all idea what they're talking about. i read so much fanfic when i was 12 years old and what u said is so true, it just used to sneak up in stories and ruin things. its the internet tho so its impossible to truly moderate

omg ur tiktok comment so fucking true babe. when smut is prioritized over plot, u can tell and so many of the booktok rec's they have are just that. there are ways to write smut and have it still be a story. there's also ways to write pwp and still craft it and yet, u dont see that often. also what happened to being excited when two bitches hold HANDS??? AND KISS FOR THE FIRST TIME?? it's appalling the way they thirst for that content but write their captions like "and they have s3x!!! and f@&k in the bathroom hehehe" like what. its such sanitized and shit content honestly

god ur so right i hadn't even thought about hunting down old fics - and it would make such a difference if you could do that because otherwise SO much weighs on when u post it and if it shows in tags and yada yada

this is so much omg u don't have to read all that but genuinely the reason i started writing more steddie and less x reader is the difference in reception and general support. i dont feel like i'm competing against my mutuals, but more like we're here to just hoot and hollar at each other and unless u have a tight knit group of friends on here, u don't get that on x reader fics ://

[glitchyk]

Hey! Welcome to the random incorrect quotes of the mafia au, mostly by Dia.

For those of you wondering, it's pretty much a random idea I said and these cool artists I admire created it— and well now we're all (kinda?) friends, and so l decided to do a goofy thing of all of our mafia characters with incorrect quotes. Only the aces/blacks.

Just canon characters— sorry for all the cool fanon ones, just canon for now.

Characters are

• M!Dash

• M!Kay

• M!Jeffery

• M!Moshieee

• M!Dia

• M!Rabid

• M!Bun.

Dia and Jeffery both belong to @dia-smthidk

Rabid belongs to @rabid-mercenary15 obv

Moshie belongs to @moshieee obv

Bun belongs to Milo/Bun - @bunnybunnsowo

Dash belongs to @ner5y

And lastly Kay belongs to me! Most of these are sonas, so that's why they might have the same or similar name to the creator, you should check all of them out!

A lot of them do tadc content mostly (or at least as of current times) but their all amazing at so many other things, like this AU they all made, so go and check them out! (And their all amazing artists and just fun to interact with or see)

There’s also one for just more overall characters, if ya wanna check it out!

And remember, a lot of these situations would never happen for multiple reasons, but, I still found them funny!

This is short but like, I’ve had it in my drafts for days so why not

Other mafia sona incorrect quotes

💃🕺

——————

M!Jeffery: What did M!Rabid do this time?

M!Bun: More like WHO did M!Rabid do this time?

••+^+••

M!Dia: M!Bun… I’m bleeding…

M!Bun: Oh god… what’s your blood type?!

M!Dia: B positive…

M!Bun: I’m trying to but you’re bleeding-

••+^+••

M!Moshieee: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

M!Jeffery, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

M!Dash, deadpanning at M!Jeffery: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

••+^+••

M!Bun: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

••+^+••

M!Dash: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

••+^+••

M!Dia: I know one person who finds me funny!

M!Rabid: Okay, who?... and you can't say yourself!

M!Dia: Okay then I'm out.

••+^+••

M!Dash: Guess what?

M!Jeffery: What?

M!Dash: No, you have to guess.

M!Jeffery, thinking: I don’t know.

M!Dash: M!Moshieee is in the hospital.

M!Jeffery: Why would you make me guess that?!

M!Jeffery: What happened?!

••+^+••

M!Dia: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: M!Dash, you risked your life to save me!

M!Dash: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: *running towards M!Kay with open arms*

M!Kay: *moves out of the way*

M!Jeffery: Hey, why'd you move?!

M!Kay: I thought you were going to attack me.

M!Jeffery: I was going to hug you!

M!Kay: Why would you hug me?

M!Jeffery: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

••+^+••

M!Rabid: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

M!Moshieee: wHat?

M!Rabid: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

M!Moshieee: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

••+^+••

M!Bun: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

M!Kay: ...

M!Bun: Oh, right. The lying.

••+^+••

M!Dia: Raisins. It's nature's candy.

••+^+••

M!Kay: Any idiot would know that.

M!Jeffery: I knew that!

M!Kay: See?

••+^+••

*the Squad cleaning up*

M!Rabid: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.

M!Dia, to M!Kay: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

••+^+••

M!Jeffery to M!Kay: Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

M!Jeffery: What are you doing?

M!Kay, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

••+^+••

M!Rabid: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

M!Moshieee, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: Don’t stay up all night, M!Bun. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

••+^+••

M!Dash, about M!Rabid: They're speaking some kind of French.

M!Jeffery: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

M!Bun:

M!Bun: I like you.

••+^+••

M!Dash: What happened to your nose?

M!Jeffery: I used it to break some guy's fist.

••+^+••

M!Kay: I want a trip down memory lane.

M!Dash: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in M!Kay's lap*

M!Dash: I heard you needed these?

M!Kay: YES! ALL OF THEM!

••+^+••

M!Bun: I told M!Rabid to grab snacks for everyone.

M!Moshieee, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*M!Bun, M!Rabid, and M!Jeffery raise their hands*

••+^+••

*M!Bun and M!Jeffery are fighting*

M!Kay, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?!

*M!Bun and M!Jeffery start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

••+^+••

M!Kay: I’m in love with you.

M!Rabid: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

M!Kay: I know.

M!Rabid: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

••+^+••

M!Bun: I just saw M!Dash for the first time in years.

M!Moshieee: No way! And…?

M!Bun: I told them I’m an Olympic gymnast.

M!Moshieee: Why?

M!Bun: Well, you know when you get nervous socially, you end up lying to impress?

M!Moshieee: No.

M!Bun: Exactly, we’ve all done it.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: M!Kay is the bravest person I know. They can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.

••+^+••

M!Rabid: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

M!Kay: AS ENEMIES?!

M!Rabid:

••+^+••

M!Kay: Why are you late?

M!Bun: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.

M!Kay: Overslept?

M!Bun: Overslept.

••+^+••

M!Dia: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

••+^+••

M!Dash: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?

M!Kay: I only like dark humor.

M!Dash, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?

M!Kay:

M!Dash: An IMPASTA!

••+^+••

*M!Kay comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in M!Rabid’s bedroom.*

M!Rabid: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?

M!Kay: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.

M!Kay: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*

M!Rabid: ...

••+^+••

M!Dash: oh fiddlesticks

M!Rabid: I know this is a really stressful situation, but let’s try and watch the fucking language

••+^+••

M!Bun: If you water water, it grows.

M!Dash: ...What.

M!Moshieee: They've got a point.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: What's the worst thing you guys have done?

M!Bun: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.

M!Kay: I kicked M!Dia in the shin-

M!Dia: -So I kicked M!Kay between the legs.

M!Moshieee: I burned a town down.

M!Jeffery: What?!

M!Dia: What the hell is wrong with you?!?

M!Moshieee: A lot of things.

M!Kay: No shit.

••+^+••

M!Kay: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly.

M!Bun: Why not?

M!Kay: Because I don't know what they mean.

••+^+••

M!Rabid: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.

M!Jeffery: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

M!Bun: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?

M!Rabid, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: Oh, hey, I didn’t see you come in! You should have come by and said hello!

M!Bun: Oh! Yeah, I uh...

M!Bun: Didn’t want to bother you.

M!Bun: Or talk to or listen to or be around you.

••+^+••

M!Bun: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

M!Jeffery: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

M!Kay: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

M!Jeffery: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

••+^+••

M!Kay: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense.

M!Dash: You’ll do it?

M!Kay: Of course.

••+^+••

M!Kay: Would you take a bullet for me?

M!Rabid: ...yes?

*M!Moshieee angrily burst into the room*

M!Kay: *running away* Great, thanks!

••+^+••

M!Dash: Be careful about succumbing to these sorts of destructive... urges. Addiction can be a powerful thing.

M!Rabid: So am I. Bow down before your new supreme overlord, bitches.

••+^+••

M!Dia: M!Kay just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

••+^+••

M!Dia: If you aren't someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago, are you really living?

••+^+••

M!Dia: Time for plan G.

M!Rabid: Don’t you mean plan B?

M!Dia: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

M!Kay: What about plan D?

M!Dia: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

M!Bun: What about plan E?

M!Dia: I’m hoping not to use it. M!Moshieee dies in plan E.

M!Moshieee: I like plan E.

••+^+••

M!Dash: Oh shoot!

M!Dash: Excuse my vulgarity.

M!Bun: I’ll let it slide.

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: Don’t preach to me about romance, M!Dash. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

••+^+••

M!Moshieee: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

M!Jeffery, used to M!Moshieee being dumb: Sure...

M!Moshieee: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

M!Jeffery: Okay?

M!Moshieee: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

M!Jeffery:

M!Moshieee: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

M!Jeffery: Jesus, that one is a little-

M!Rabid, interested: No, no, M!Moshieee, keep going.

••+^+••

M!Moshieee: What’s your biggest fear?

M!Bun: I am incredibly arachnophobic.

M!Moshieee, under their breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?

••+^+••

*The Squad is on a hike*

M!Bun: It’s beautiful out here.

M!Moshieee: And quiet.

M!Bun: Too quiet.

M!Moshieee: Did we lose someone?

*cut to M!Dia with a bear in a headlock*

••+^+••

M!Bun, being robbed: Please! Have mercy! I have a family! A wife and kids… a dog…

M!Dia: Literally none of that is true, M!Bun.

M!Bun: Okay, but I’m sexy! That’s gotta count for something, right?

••+^+••

M!Jeffery: How do you tell someone their breath stinks?

M!Moshieee: Hey, I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.

————

[nyaawn]

Graphics Update & Derplander's face: A Research

or My Shallow Attempt to Make Sense Why That DT Derplander's Face Look So Oddly Different. For Science.

(Ok I know the benchmark has been out for more than a week and a lot has been said about it, but I was busy and only had time to mess around with it recently. Tho actually no I didn't have time and I really should sleep rather than spend my remaining braincells mulling over freaking fictional character's face. But pesky part of my brain would keep bothering me about it otherwise. So let me try putting my finger on it)

On last Live Letter broadcast they open with benchmark trailer. I thought, "Oh nice. Since I also play a Derplander I can just watch their trailer to see the graphic update on his fac---"

.

.

.

"... ...... .....Who is that?"

This Derplander was so confused and as Derplander main I was left deeply concerned.

What the heck happened?? Is it the update? Is it the new hair? Hair change can change his face so much? Why he look so off? Whhhyyyyyyyy-------

Benchmark downloaded, I embarked to find the truth *insert dramatic bgm here*

First thing in my mind, well we see that in livestream, of course streaming quality would made it look bad. Hence I start with running the benchmark right away with default character setting. The result, now I have better image quality, I can clearly see his skin texture etc and he does looks better, but still so different than what I used to. Oh dear am I doomed with this graphic update.... Well let's see how he fare in character creator next. I put in the usual Derplander/Ardbert face setting: Hyur, Midlander, medium build, Face type #5 or #7.... Hmm wait they touch up Face#7?

Yep, Face#7 isn't simply 'Face#5-with-stubble-slapped-on' anymore. There's plenty of contouring going on now. It's like make up, tho irl people use it to look flawless, here they use it to make him more flawed lol. Frown lines, dark and bright smudges to increase the rugged appearance. That highlight on his forehead almost distractingly so. It sure make his brow bones look like they jut out a lot more. Maybe that's why his forehead look so bright and prominent in that trailer? But all in all they do give the face more dimension and suitably older without changing the face model itself, which is smart. Other than contouring, they only change the eye shape a bit with sharper corner. Oh and thicker eyebrows, for some reason...

Alright, that cover the face type. Moving on with the rest of his face: Eye#1, Nose#1, Lip#1. No big change with them, at least none that I can see. Next, color: eyes blue, no lip coloring. Done!

The result... is still the Derplander that I know and familiar with. Older and more rugged, yes. But that's him alright.

WAIIIIT,,,, everyone else complain that their character look off in Character Creator but look alright in benchmark cutscene, why I'm the opposite?? I think he look okay in CC but look different in cutscene. Wth happened here?

Still scratching my head, I throw him into benchmark and...

Oh. Oooh, I see now.. Apparently, they didn't use that setting anymore...

I made wrong assumption that they use Derplander usual character setting as default WoL like in previous benchmarks. Then further assumed the change I saw was chiefly because of graphic update. But as you can see, for default they use different nose and jaw. Add those to the change with face type I mentioned above. It's not that the DT trailer Derplander's face feel different. It is different face.

*headdesk* OKAY PROBLEM SOLVED I GUESS (ﾉಥ▿ಥ）ﾉ彡┻━┻

.........

Naaah, I already staring at his face for so long only to reach such anticlimactic conclusion. Let's stare some more! *sunkcostfallacy*

Well, ignoring the new hairstyle and its floating sideburns (kek), now they use jaw#4 and nose#5, I think? And tho it can't be seen clearly in that gif quality, they also change his eye color. Before I thought it's just because of lighting, but they really change them to green hue rather than his previous blue (you got Mako-juiced bro?). I think I understand why they made those change tho. When paired with his old face, that new hairstyle can make his lower face look strangely short/squished (which was my concern when they unveil that hair in cg trailer. Even in real life that kind of hairstyle could mess with head balance). Hence the change to wider, longer jaw. And to balance that jaw, bigger nose. Dunno what with his eye tho.

It's not very noticeable but there's one more change they made, however it's one I completely onboard with: His skin color. After giving his CG counterpart a tan (hooray!), finally they also give his in-game model a (veeeeerrry sliiight) tan (still HOORAAY!). I've been saying for years that he look too pale. WoL supposedly running around under the sun all the time, why in tarnation he was still as pale as milk. This time, though I only eyeballed it, from various comparison pic I think I can say with some confidence they had moved quite a few step down that skintone table:

I would prefer they also take a step to the right (which is the skintone that I give to my own WoL, and even with that I still often think mine's too pale. But to change it I need to pay for another fanta, so I left him be), but hey baby step. At least he's more strawberry milk now rather than just milk.

Anyway, others might not think he look that different from before. But maybe since I played with him for thousand and thousand of hours, even a slight difference can cause uncomfortable sense of wrongness. This is also the case for numerous players who complained that their WoLs looks off, I guess. Though their case certainly isn't a dumb character setting mistake like mine, that graphic update sure can change character's vibe. Fortunately after scrutinizing it for some time, I think I can live with it? At least for most part..

The update change lighting and texture across the board, and maybe some modeling too? For characters, one of most visible overhaul is their skin. In that skin, well, look even more like skin, for better or worse. In face type#5 /#7 that Derplander use, his laugh lines and sunken cheek are fairly discernible now.

Same chara setting, very similar angle and lighting, across different builds. With the new lighting shadow falls more naturally, in effect giving a rounder, less dramatic impression. But more than that, those visible facial lines along with further detailed eye wrinkles make him seem a looot older. While the guy in the left might go "I'm going on an adventure!", the man in right look tired of all worldly affairs..

That said, I don't mind it that much. I want my WoL to look older with time, so I'm okay with this. Players who also use this face type but don't want their WoL to suddenly turn into middle aged man might feel different, however. Not to mention the more realistic facial lines could push it towards uncanny valley. Will need some time to get used to it, that's for sure.

But one graphic update quirk that I'm less enthusiastic with is: eyeline. I wonder, it seems there's something going on with how this new lighting interact with eye area, in that when eye rim fall under shadow of something the eyeliner immediately goes wild:

See his left eye? Nothing else change here, just his hair. But when his eye fall under shadow of sidebangs, bam. Thick eyeliner make its glorious appearance and suddenly he look super evil (Tho to be fair this shot is hardly flattering and most WoLs I saw look highly menacing there. It's just those dark rims brought him an extra malm). Maybe this is why many Viera players complained about weird eyelines? Thankfully in other lighting/ non-closeup those eyeliners seems to go away. In other scenes all version of him looks okay enough.

.............

So TL:DR I made mistake assuming the odd difference I saw was because graphic update, while in reality it's because they use different face setting altogether. I think I'm going to be fine just using Derplander's old setting going forward as thankfully the update didn't change him too badly. Imo for most part I think the new graphic looks superb even.

But yeah that eyeliner man. I hope they can tell it to chill down a bit. I'm looking forward to the further adjustment they said they'll do. Hopefully Derplander can retain his fairly nice guy, slightly derpy look that we know and love, and less looking like a guy who's ready to start his villain origin story.

........or maybe he already started? 🤔

oh well thanks for glancing at my TED talk. Ima going to sleep now...

[alivehouse]

(While sending this ask I've accidentally found out what cool wallpapers (literally) you have on your desktop blog theme.)

Well, good day, my dearest horror podcast Virgil,

I, surprisingly to myself, actually finished "I am in Eskew" and enjoyed it quite a bit (which, I guess, could have been deduced by how much I spammed in the tag) even more surprisingly, considering I'm absolutely not a horror person - I substitute horror movies with their wikipedia retellings. Unironically.

Anyway, firstly, thank you! I definitely would have never discovered it without your recommendations!

Secondly, maybe you have something else like that stashed up your sleeve? I definitely need some time to recuperate, but I would like to explore more cool podcasts. (The only two limitations: short-ish - not much longer than this one, the view of a hundred+ episodes scares me; not gorier than this one/no actual jump scares - again, I'm a scardicat.) I remember you talking about "Mabel Podcast" and at the first glance it seems neat, but I'd like to hear your comments on it first.

Thanks in advance. :)

(thank you! its a william morris thing i edited a little lol) glad you liked eskew! its been fun seeing your thoughts on it popping up in the tag, not spammy at all.

i do want to mention that the creator of eskew also has another podcast called The Silt Verses, personally i havent listened to it for weird brain reasons so not sure how well it fits your criteria but ive heard its also very good

mabel podcast is another favorite! the creators of mabel and the creator of i am in eskew were both inspired by shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house to an extent iirc, so even though the stories are very different some elements of them have a similar 'feel' to them imo. i will say that mabel is very different stylistically though (especially the earlier episodes) which in my experience people seem to either love or hate. whereas in eskew you get a pretty continuous narration from david or riyo, in mabel youre mostly listening in on a series of somewhat disjointed voicemail messages. id definitely recommend at least giving the first few episodes a go, dont get discouraged if you dont feel like you dont understand whats happening right away. all you really need to know about the story going in is that youre following Anna, whos a live-in carer for an old woman named Sally. Anna is trying to contact Sallys next of kin (the titular Mabel), but shes strangely out of reach.

ok i know you said youre not a huge horror person but if you ever are feeling a little more daring id suggest trying out The White Vault. theres a small amount of gore (descriptions of finding hearts and teeth) and some uh. wet ripping sounds in it but its really not that bad all things considered, just know that it is straight horror though. its a found footage podcast that follows a group of people whove been hired to check out a remote outpost in northern norway thats gone dead, but a storm leaves them stranded there, and as time goes on it becomes clear that they arent exactly alone. this ones a little longer i think, but tbh ive only listened to the first two seasons, it felt like a natural place for the story to end to me

and then on the complete opposite side of the spooky podcast spectrum, if you want something thats a ghost story but really not horror at all imo, i just finished listening to Midnight Radio a few weeks back. this ones *really* short, like 10 episodes that are ~20 minutes each short, so its definitely lower commitment. in this one youre listening in on a radio show hosted by Sibyl, who died decades earlier but can still be heard waxing poetic about her hometown in the dead of night.

ok LAST ONE havent finished it so wasnt sure if i should rec it but a lot of people on my dash hype up Archive 81 so i thought id mention it at least. guy is hired to listen through a bunch of creepy tapes in some archive out in the middle of no where. classic horror podcast stuff. similar to eskew in that it pivots from mostly being mostly anthology into an overarching plot as you go on

[alexsiple]

I just read through In Terms of Rain and I found it exceedingly beautiful in illustration AND writing (tf how do you do that). It really captured what I like in a lot of Death Note fan creations, which is some abstractness and ideas left up for interpretation. That being said, I would really love some insight and analysis on your end of certain choices you made while creating it. Just any meanings from certain pages or your general thoughts would be incredible for my plebeian mind <3

ohhhh anon thank you so much. this is so kind of you- thank you for reading it and enjoying it. and thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk at length about this thing i've made HAHAHAHA i'm rubbing my hands together like a little creature (i'm putting this under a cut)

listen i think about death note too much. like, too much for what it is. it's one of my favorite things ever but i'm hyper-aware of its flaws. that said, i think a lot about L and light and how the creators managed to make this really crazy story about being known and what we hide from others. it's so romantically tragic to me. it's so romantically violent to me. i wrote about this more on my substack but i'll keep going with some more specific death-note-lore sort of analysis (i guess i'm a person who links their substack unprompted. great).

L is like, one of my favorite characters of all time? i read a lot of death note fanfiction (i know ok) and my favorite hobby is analyzing people's interpretations of him. literally a year or so ago i was reading so much fanfic and it was kind of rotting my brain and i had this sudden wave of inspiration/wrote the whole script of this comic in one sitting. i kept starting this comic since then and the visual style never felt right until i managed to land on this one.

L makes me very sad. i both relate to him and watch him from afar as an omniscient observer. i wanted to capture all these feelings he gives me at once; it's a really L-centric comic. the tragedy of living a life in so much isolation. the tragedy of living life not exactly for beliefs or morals or justice, really, but because it's your job, and all you have, and you're good at it, so you do it. whatever. shrug, shrug. you do it. if you die, you die. apparently i also for some reason fixated on the thing about L being adopted by wammy and being raised to be this child prodigy. a gifted kid narrative, etc. that makes me sad. i think L and light have this parallel going on where they both feel misunderstood by most people because of their own making, maybe, but also because of how they were raised and because of their ""intellect"" and their superiority complexes. light's complex coming more from privilege, of course, and being more analyzed in the source material. both of them jaded by and cynical of the world and its extreme violence.

i wanted to hone in on that loneliness. L and light are very lonely characters. they are very internal and thoughtful and weird and express this in opposite ways (but they're the same! of course!) hm. i like thinking that L was raised in a church. dropped off in that movie-orphan way as a baby during a snowstorm or something. how did wammy find him at eight years old and adopt him like that. what does a child have to see and do to become a "detective prodigy" at age eight. canonically, the whole wammy's house thing is fucked up. canonically, L is the first and best. what does a child have to see and do to become the First and Best. does intelligence make a child more mature, more able to "handle" anything thrown in their line of view? some people seem to think so. i think it's creating a sort of ghost that haunts you when you're old enough to look back and see it behind you.

also i wanted to explore religious [catholic] imagery. albeit in a more earnest way than the source material but yeah- i imagine L grew up around catholicism. wammy's house with its big cross on it! i think sometimes when you've been lonely for a long time, or your whole life, and you have never felt truly seen, there's this euphoria that arrives with the person who finally Sees you. you know? sometimes that feels like religion. sometimes being known feels holy. sometimes it feels like being loved. shrug, shrug. sometimes it feels like dying.

i've always really loved that L likes that light could be kira. is. i think it's so insane and endearing and personal to me. light hates that L knows him, has never been known before, translates this feeling into violence. L is like, i get this guy completely, he's a mirror, but somehow he's like no one else i've met before and it's still exciting! i'm laughing at him (i'm crying.) i like that light hides all strong emotions deep within and that L occasionally releases strong emotions with, like, a detached acceptance. he's not exactly afraid to be vulnerable but more picks and chooses what to let people see. plays off of something real, sometimes. is willing to play a character for fun. light just doesn't show anything real at all. is very uncomfortable with any vulnerability. is also very afraid of death. in some ways i feel that L seems to halfway accept his death. he's like, yeah, i'm dying now. this is where my life has led me. i lost but it's out of my control anyway. with in terms of rain i wanted it to feel like this foggy reflection on a life from a ghost, i guess? hence all the references to specific years or cases/the opening part. lol. won't explain the one hundred years of solitude reference but i feel as if the stars aligned with that one.

hopefully this is interesting to SOMEONE? LMAO?

and as for certain pages, the only ones i think i want to point out are these two, which are references to B and A respectively because i actually love the los angeles bb murder case novel with like. a fervor. even though i don't think it's actually good but i also think they really nail something with it. i just think about beyond birthday a lot. ugh. DEATH NOTE. I USED TO LAUGH AT BEYOND BIRTHDAY AND NOW IT'S SERIOUS TO ME

thx bye.

[bewareofchris]

How are you doing? What's up

lol is it weird that I'm posting so much?

Ok so what happened was, about a week ago I was mistakenly introduced to Jujutsu Kaisen by my kid who has lived a relatively normal childhood without really having to live through any of my obsessive phases. (Which, get really, really, really all-consuming at times.)

Thing is nobody knows, not even me, what my brain is going to latch onto or why it is going to latch onto it. Or for how long it is going to latch onto it. That's par for the course honestly with my type of atypical brain.

So I specifically got introduced to JJK during an arc where the white haired weird blue eyed dude finally actives a new level of his power that makes him basically an unstoppable god-like force and he's so full of himself and arrogant and capable of destruction and murder that my little heart can't stand it. I'm like.

An arrogant psycho capable of total destruction of all life on earth? I'm in.

Well ok so I'm like "i love him" (out loud) and my kid's IMMEDIATE response is spoiler 236.

Which

is

so

fucking

dumb.

This locks me into a spiral of 'that cannot possibly happen' for a variety of reasons. Which leads me to start consuming the entire media because I need an explanation for why such a thing would happen. Consumption has left me with the realization that it's just because the creator of JJK is speed-running through a storyline that's going to end up being basically a super, super pretty DBZ where every new villain has to be somehow bigger and more powerful than the last but PROBABLY the thing that defeats it will stay the same.

So I find out the creator hates Gojo (white haired blue eyed psycho) because they accidentally made him too strong. And that locks me in this spiral of NONSENSE because he's so overpowered that is his actual weakness. Like he can't use half his power because he'd just obliterate everything. (Also maybe once during all the time you kept writing things like "his birth literally shifted the balance of power in the jujutsu world" you could have, idk, slowed the fuck down a little?)

(Although like most anime, money is made up and property damages don't matter.)

So now I'm a week into this anime with like 12 years of baggage furious at the structure of the story and decisions that were made because it's such a cool idea and it's animated so stupidly pretty. And I would watch this for years if it were paced and varied.

Basically, I accidentally found a character I thought was cool because he's too powerful to retain full humanity and it shows, found out some spoilers and am mourning the inevitable decline of quality of said show.

Also found out that LITERALLY EVERYONE is HORNY AS FUCK for this dude which is cool for me because content. But also there is no way I'd go near this man with a 9000 foot dildo.

Guys he's too powerful. You'd die. And I get that's what works for you.

But he's also over here like "morals are just bullshit people make up to assign responsibility to strength". GUYS HE'S A LOSER.

(i love him.)

[if-confessions]

I have always been a person that gets bored pretty easily with things and I find it hard to keep my attention focused in one specific thing for a long time. I started writing an IF recently and even though I tried to keep my hopes low because I've also tried it many times before and always end up losing inspiration and moving to other ideas that keep popping up in my brain, it was flowing so well I had no choice but think this one would be for real. A little more than 5k written yet in like, two weeks and I can't force myself to even think about this IF anymore. I wanted so, so much to make it this time, and it was actually going so well I thought I actually would, but now I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of wanting to write other things (past IFs I've written a bit for and new ideas that kidnapped my neurons) - remembering I have this specific IF to write for - opening the doc and stare at it for minutes and minutes in a row - not being able to write a single worthy word - leaving feeling shitty and still tormented by all things I want to write and for the helplessness of the IF I couldn't develop

Staying motivated to continue working on a project is not easy (I have way too many ones myself too) and requires a lot of willpower and discipline. Especially if the project is very long. Having to remind your brain to focus on a project is not fun, you are 100% right.

And writing, especially as a hobby, should fun as a whole. You shouldn't have to feel dread every time you open your WIP or feeling tormented about it because you couldn't make any progress. It shouldn't be a grind.

Assumption corner, please disregard if you don't think it applies, cause I could be suuuuper off on those.

Maybe putting so much pressure on yourself to make it work every time you start working on a new idea might be a reason why you might not feel able work on it after a few say? Time to work on spite (the so what if it doesn't work method)?

Maybe you'd strive more on shorter forms of creation, like quick bites of IF (à-la Adventure Snacks) or having pressure to finish a game in a short period of time (there are many Game Jams on itch for that) ?

Maybe you might need encouragement when writing or peer-pressure? Writing groups with set weekly/periodic time to work on a project might help you progress.

Maybe you're more of an idea person that can create great prompts and settings and so on and so forth but need a partner to bring it to the finish line? Working in tandem can be fun!

Maybe IF might not be the best medium to foster or unleash your creativity? It happens. And that's ok. Even within IF there are very different ways of showing a story, some authors prefer Choice-Based, some Parsers.

Maybe you need a break from creating as a whole? Take a break from the cycle. Might help you feel better?

If you want to rid yourself of older projects/ideas you don't feel you'd work on in the future, check out the @seedcomp-if and donate your ideas to other creators ;)

[just-some-random-blogger]

13, 22, 25 & 32 - for the weird questions for writers

OMG 🤩 QUESTIONS FROM MY LOVE <3 [GIDDY LAUGHTER]

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

lets start with easy. lol don't know if this counts as a subject but whatever my fixation is HAHHAH that's really easy to write. idk i think i'm mostly a fluff/crack writer. probably nonsensical/silly subjects are my forte HAHAHA i love writing weird pieces that make you giggle and think 'wtf did my eyes just witness' AHAHAHAHAH.

and well, i have expressed my joy in creating angst fics and i've had people cry at me for them, which is great HAHAHAH thus people may think i'm idk good at that but tbh i find writing angst really hard. i don't think i can write angst honestly; there is only a time and place when i can, and i usually go through a lot of prompt ideas for it, so if you see me reblogging any prompt ideas, then that probably means im going to attempt to write angst

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

i have no idea if i'm organized at writing. ok wait maybe im not. im not the type of person that does bullet points or whatnot, though sometimes i do. i mostly just go ham and barf on the keyboard. my method is just go for it. i literally just use the text creator on wherever im going to be posting the fic. sometimes i do write on my phone notes, maybe ms word or gdocs, i used to write fics on my notebook whilst at school cos i would day dream too much (ive even written a story at the back of my exam paper because the interval between our exams was too long) i dont write on my notebooks anymore though, and again, i mostly just write on site textboxes.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

see i flesh out my characters SO MUCH, esp if its like for a series im doing or if im writing for a really interesting prompt. then i just assume people can read the between the lines and know on instinct that 'oh this means she's probably into yoga' or some shit HAHAHH. suddenly i couldnt think of anything. had to rack my brain for this one. in stone cold, i imagined reader showering her step kids with tons of gifts during their namedays and them being partial to her during events cos she enables sweeties and is the cool third parent 'I WANNA SIT NEXT TO HER' 'NO I WANNA' 'everyone stfu'

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

well, i have tons and tons of favorite lines from the little prince that i could gladly share but i thought of a line from to kill a mockingbird, which is the only thing i got from that book cause i didn't get passed... like 5 pages of it T_T HAHAHAH. 'Maycomb County had recently been told that it had nothing to fear but fear itself' this was my pinned tweet when i had a twitter way back in the olden days. HAAHH. yeah i just found it in the book i borrowed. and i only borrowed it cos my library had like a bazillion new copies for some reason, also i wanted bragging rights 'i read that :P'. i just think the line puts an interesting introspective light on things. like, fear is in your head, you're only as scared as you think you are. but also, i like the fact it also doest make sense to me and it sounds like a silly line posing as something profound HAAHAHH

thank you for stopping by my ask my love <3 <3 <3

[scarfacemarston]

Since you are stuck at the airport, maybe you would like your imagination to go a bit crazy? Feel free to delete it, if it's not really your type of content!

Stupid idea: If you were to give everybody in the gang a superpower, what do you believe would suit them? (Imagine John staying powerless though and Arthur often mentioning his power is being somehow alive with no brain 😆)

Ok, so I actually wanted to take my time with this! It took forever. I hate to sound desperate, but I worked extremely hard on this. It took hours to do as crazy as that sounds. Please “like” and reblog or even comment. It’s the only way I can get feedback and that’s so important to content creators.  Note:  I decided to give every superpower a drawback. I think that’s what I’ve heard about Dungeons and Dragons? I'm not counting deadeye here which could be considered a power by some. I don’t think it’s a power myself, but I can understand the theory. Arthur - The gift of luck and probability. Unlikely, but if you think about it - he has the fate of many people in his hands and their fates depend on his decisions of who he goes after.  I believe John would have elements of this as well if we’re including a meta of the epilogue and rdr 1.  However, this can only apply to strangers. Not to himself or his loved ones. John - Arthur and John argue over who has more luck so I think that he could have elements of this power. I thought about night vision but given that John is at least partially blind if we follow rdr 1, that doesn’t quite work for him. I know this sounds crazy, but I would give him animal communication powers....that doesn’t mean it always works well for him, of course. In fact, he might make animal enemies if he’s not careful. John is canonically known to be freakishly good with horses to the point that people who meet him say he could be rich from working and training horses. Despite his dangerous times, he is able to tell animal behavior quite well and is considered a master hunter in rdr 1. Dutch -Earthquake powers - it just seems to make sense to me! He makes a lot of escapes and I can see him using it to cause trouble. It’s more flexible than the power I gave Bill. However, it’s hard to control and he can cause harm to himself.....especially in rdr 1. (Which was chosen, though.) Hosea - Photographic memory - you can't get shit past him, that's one of the reasons why it's so easy for him to create stories. Unfortunately, he will have no ability to forget painful memories. Javier - Camouflage. He was able to stay in hiding for ages and only came out when Bill needed him. Dutch had rumors about him previously. Rumors about Javier in Mexico also only happened when he and Bill were on the run in rdr 1. The only problem is, if used too often, it can be difficult to turn on or off. Charles - Teleporting or phasing through matter. Kind of like Vision. It fits with how stealthy he is and he tends to divide himself up a bit. Meaning, since he often balances lots of responsibilities, this will help him juggle these responsibilities easily through traveling quickly. This also helps with stealth and spying, of course. Unfortunately, if he’s too tired, he could teleport to the wrong place. Abigail - Very hard to pin down. I liked the idea of her having healing powers especially through the power of song, but I also like the idea of her having a danger sense like Spidey sense ...canonically, she is very strong,  unusually so. Ultimately, I would give her shape-shifting because Hosea notes how gifted an actress she was and even says she’s the best con-woman he’s ever seen. Unfortunately, this can cause her to doubt herself and question who she really is - it can affect her self confidence. She has to be careful not to become over reliant to it. Jack - The ability to speak with the dead. I wrote a thing years ago about it on a roleplay server. I think it would come in handy when he writes. However, I wouldn't have this power show up until he was a teenager because toddlers who speak to the dead are terrifying. Could be scarily amusing. When he is older, it could help him with his writing, help him on rare occasions receive a visit from a family member (There are “hints” that Beecher’s Hope is haunted in rdr 1.) Having this “gift” has a downside to itself already. Sean - Elasticity - he'd have a blast reaching everything and anything he's not supposed to. However, if used incorrectly, he would be akin to a wet noodle, meaning it would be hard to return to normal. Karen - Sonic scream, she has a very loud voice already regardless of whether it comes from laughing or yelling and she loves being a distraction. She could cause a lot of trouble with it like breaking glass. However, she could cause great harm to her friends if she loses control. Tilly - Foresight which gives her a connection to danger detection. I'm also thinking iron will. NOTHING will get in her way. She will manifest her own destiny and she did despite all the circumstances. She's a rock, she cannot be moved. This also can connect her with her sense of morality. Unfortunately, there are times that her danger detection may be incorrect. Sadie - Bravery of the Valkyries and the the ability to have perfect armor/ impenetrable skin.  (Think Colossus from X-Men) Unfortunately, this can affect her ability to feel physical sensations if she fights too often. Molly - Invisibility. It comes in handy for so many things. It could be a power that intrigues Dutch for its usefulness and I can see him using it as a way to flirt. I think it also fits because in later parts of the game, people act like she’s invisible. Like Sue from Fantastic Four, I can see her turning invisible when she gets pissed and walks off in a huff. Unfortunately, like in the game, people do tend to forget about her. Grimshaw - Healing skills. I really wanted to give Abigail this as well because she does a heck of a lot of nursing back to health, but I ultimately believe Grimshaw does so a bit more. She may not always be the softest of carers, but she knows what she’s doing and does care. However, her healing is not always pain free. Lenny - Essentially a bullshit detector. The power that no one can lie or manipulate him. This fits perfectly with how he can navigate people like Dutch and come out on top, go toe to toe with Hosea and is able to climb the ranks of the gang quickly so to speak. (Most of the gang seems to respect him even with his age.) Unfortunately, this depresses him because he sees just how many lies there are. Micah - He’s basically a version of Grima Wormtongue to me. He has the ability to tell incredibly believable lies through a more hypnotic method. That’s why it’s important to have people like Lenny, Tilly and Hosea around. However, this backfires if he is trying to actually tell the truth as in, he’s severely injured or he is trying to call for help in some other way. Mary-Beth - I wanted to go with the power of empathy to her sensing emotions - however, that doesn’t mean she’s always kind or does it for altruistic reasons. Empath powers can be more complex than that. However, just like in real life, this can cause compassion fatigue. Kieran - Size manipulation like Ant-Man. Hell, the idea of him riding a huge ass horse is hilarious af. In actuality, he can shrink like Ant-Man to get into locks. However ---- he can’t get caught so he has to be more careful than most.  Josiah - Duplication of self combined with mimicry. He'd be terrifying depending on how he'd use it. However, it is extremely difficult to control. Reverend - The ability to spread hope / inspire to almost anyone - however, just like in the game, he has to be in the right mind set and it can be exhausting. Bill - The power to cause explosions at will.......this can be difficult to control and can literally backfire. However, it comes in handy as a thief.

Strauss - Super intellect. He is more left brained in that this is more mathematics, statistics, able to make a good hypothesis and pick up skills in that field. However, this makes him prone to headaches. Pearson - The ability to be immune to all poisons whether its through food or liquids, but also poisonous gas as in swampy areas. Unfortunately, his ability to avoid poisons could make him a danger to others if he accidentally contaminates something.

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

And then she said that type of mentality hurts women irl, did u read this or what? I'm reading it rn, it's from a data scientist (allegedly) trying to reason with why this is happening, why he may have had these viewpoints when he was in his twenties, and that young fans (no fault of their own, I'm sure cause they are young and not the sharpest) idolise creators and sometimes show their sexual interest in them and how that can cause complications, and also the tweet thread discusses how creators have to respond faster and professionally in a social media world that demands answers immediately.

To me, the thread isn't the best in pacing and is kind of all over the place so it's hard to follow, and I don't think it translates well. But from what I have read so far, that seems to be what she is getting at. She then goes on to discuss macho men's brains and yes, the dumb shit they say and how even then with all the "problematic" things they talk about, she is still able to befriend them and connect with them and see past the macho persona and see the individual.

I think she's getting at that people are clumping Forever into this macho (? is this the word) persona and maybe he even did so to himself back then, but we need to look past that and see the individual. I think that's why Forever liked this tweet thread. Not because it excused his actions and said that dating a young teenager was ok (I'm not saying he dated that girl, just overall in general when discussing this type of subject), it tried to reason with his tweets. To understand where his brain was at that time and perhaps who he was at that time. Not excuse, but reason and comprehend. Understand on a clinical level why he did what he did, I think.

She does try to pyscho-analyze him and say he hasn't repeatedly shown sexual interest in minors, in her perspective (and frankly in mine too). She tries to explain with sources the definition of pedophilia and where men in different cultures would usually view a girl at a certain age as 'mature for their age' but stated that she is aware that those viewpoints are damaging to young women but she is able to understand that young girls may try to fit into the mindset while growing up. Since it is so common and culturally perhaps socially pushed onto them. In my eyes this is what she is saying, speaking about this experience... something akin to a double-edged sword. That both parties push, enforce, accept, and encourage this mindset, making things problematic.

But she also mentioned that these studies need to be updated, which could help different culture's mindsets. She points out that Forever didn't commit any crimes which we already know (it's just the ick factor, I think everyone can at least agree on that). Then she went on the newer history of cancel culture saying since our mindsets and views are constantly changing, that if we enforced punishment on things that people have done in the past that people have changed their opinions on, then everyone would be punished. Yes, you and you and you. Everyone.

She is mainly trying to calm everyone in this situation, sympathize if it has been triggering them from past traumas, and explain that yes there are internet crimes, but this doesn't appear to be one of them.

And then of course, in grand old twitter fashion. They freaked out on her. Saying things like he hasn't apologized or taken responsibility, which if they read the thread, she is addressing that social media should give him time to.

Then talked about how he wanted to mock and sue children, like- bruh, I think we know that the anon twitter user who started all of this is not just some child. Pretty sure they are an anti who likes digging things up and pretty sure it was confirmed.

Other replies say it was a bad thread and its adding fuel to the fire, some saying that the thread maker is telling them to be more objective for love.

Some people seem to have gotten that idolizing a celebrity can bring complications to both parties. Whatever those complications may end up being.

Others realize that they see the Forever-situation as someone (the anti) trying to attack someone else (Forever)

And honestly a bunch of back and forths between people who see the thread maker's point of view and who... well, I question if they read all of it.

I think read it properly and understood what they meant. Maybe she could have written it a little bit better, but these are tweets for heavens sake, not an academic paper.

I definitely didn't write everything she said in order, so sorry about that. But I will say after reading this, I think I'm still going to side with Forever for now until he makes an announcement. Honestly until ANYONE makes an announcement. I'm surprised they haven't yet but this is like a super touchy situation and might damper qsmp for many no matter which way it goes. And I suppose it is best to give them time to cool off and give a clear announcement.

That's it. I defended this man since Friday, please chill out for five minutes so mommy can have some me time.

So forever liked a twt thread where someone defends him

Link for who wants:

TLDR: It pretty much says that what he did isn't ped0philia by law definition and not a crime, and adult man getting with teen girls was "normal" because of the belief that girls mature earlier than boys, and that was the beliefs that forever was going with.