#ok i will not lie like i don't find it funny when a woman be like “oh nooo don't kill meee i'm a defenseless fragile girl :(((”

[pinkcrittertomb]

I, no joke, often dream about a scenario where Sanji realizes he can fight women without disrespecting them. Something happen or someone open his eyes, saying that he "respect" women so much by not fighting them that he is straight up disrespecting women by not seeing them as worth fighters, that may exist women who will take advantage of it (like we see zillions of times in the anime) but there is nothing more humiliating than someone not seeing you as worth to a fight and refusing to fight you as equal

[causticsunshine]

.

[lowkeyerror]

Guidance

Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Notes: Near death experience, pre-cannon, I think it’s mostly spoiler free be wary,

Summary: You are thought to be the weakest member of your coven. After hearing it so often you begin to believe it. It’s not until you encounter a mysterious woman in the woods, that you get a glimpse of you true power.

An: 2 parter & part 2 should be up in a matter of minutes 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. Hope you like this one. I'm really just free writing these as they come up in my head

Part 2 | Masterlist

You were the weakest in your coven. The others were miles ahead of you when it came to actually using magic. However no one knew as much about it as you did.

You spent your time reading hoping to come across something that would wake your full potential but you found nothing.

Your coven bullied you relentlessly for your shortcomings. You heard their harsh words every time you failed a task. You heard it when you were left to clean up after them. You heard it when they would ditch you in the woods claiming it would build merit.

“This isn’t funny you guys, it’s dark please,” you call through the trees.

No one answers, not that you expect them to. You try to cast a light spell just enough to hold it in your hand, but you fail.

You start to hear noises in the woods surrounding you. Quickly you turn your back and take a defensive stance. You feel the hairs stand up against the back of your neck, and a light sweat begin to coat your forehead.

“I- I am armed,” you lie trying to reason with the darkness

When a figure steps out, you feel yourself start to shake. It was hard to see, but the hooded figure was illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

She was beautiful, something unnatural like you’ve never seen before. The warmth in her face, the faint rosy tones of her cheeks, the deep luxury of expensive leather in her eyes. She has stunned you into silence.

“You’re freezing,” is the only thing she says to you.

In your fear you hadn’t noticed the cold bite of the night. However as the stranger points it out you can feel a numbness start to take a place in your body.

“My coven… they like to play tricks on me like this,” you cast your gaze down, afraid to look into her eyes.

“That’s not very funny,” she speaks gently.

You raise your gaze to look at her, “It’s because I’m the weakest member. I can’t even cast a simple spell to light a path.”

The mystery woman shakes her head , “I don't think that’s true.”

She removes her cloak and drapes it over your shoulder.

“You’ll freeze miss,” you try to reason with her, but she just chuckles.

“Give me your hand,” she commands.

You hesitate but place your hand in hers. She lays your palm up flat.

“What are you do-”

“Think of something warm, like a blanket or a coat,” she guides you.

“Ok,” you mumble following her directions.

She praises you, “Very good, now move from warm to hot. Think of the blistering sun or an oven or… fire.”

When she says fire she can already see the ball growing in your hand. She looks over to see if you’re witnessing your power, but your eyes are closed.

“Now what? Hello?”

You open your eyes and the woman had vanished. Your eyes lock on the ball of fire illuminating from your hand. You had never been able to do something like this before.

With the stranger’s cloak around you and the ball of fire in your hand you were able to find your way back to the coven. You snuffed out the fireball before getting too close to the cabins.

“That’s a new record Y/n, we almost didn’t think you’d make it back,” one of the bullies snickers.

Instead of entertaining them with a stutter filled response like you usually do, you just walk past them. The woman from the woods still in your mind. You look at your hand that held the fire ball. Was she responsible for it, or could you do it on your own.

You do just like she instructed. Thinking of something warm and then hot. This time watching as your fingertips began to glow and fire danced in your palm.

Maybe you had been letting the words of the others get to you. Perhaps you had power just like theirs hidden somewhere underneath all of that doubt.

You decided that you would press the limits of your powers until your knowledge matched your ability. As soon as you began believing in yourself, the power seemed to surge through you.

You kept the woman’s cloak as you trained your powers. Often sneaking off in the night to teach yourself as your coven still believed you to be a weakling.

It’s a few months later, when your powers are much more refined that you grow tired of the teasing. You’re certain that you are more powerful than the other members of the coven.

“Hey Y/ln,” you turn at the sound of your last name.

A ball of mud thuds against your face and the sound of laughter rings in your ears. You try to calm yourself down as your anger begins to rise.

“Look she’s going to cry.”

“Chin up Y/n, you’re too old for tears.”

“I’m sure there’s a spell you can’t use that would be helpful right now.”

You felt hot all over. Like the rage was boiling your blood. Your fists were clenched together at your side. You felt the mud harden over your face before cracking off like it was a rock.

“Who threw it?” Your voice is low.

The laughter has stopped. They all look at you paralyzed with fear. You were on fire from your head to your toes. Pupils engulfed in flames.

“WHO THREW IT?” You repeat louder.

“We were just teasing Y/n, restrain yourself.”

You take a deep breath, and for a moment the flames die down.

“Freak,” someone mumbles.

That’s all it takes for you to shoot the fire out of your hand towards your coven members. Most of them moved out of the way.

The one’s who were too slow, did not have the time to scream. They were piles of ashes almost instantly. The others yell in their place, tears streaming down.

Their cries do something to pull you from your rage. You begin blinking rapidly. Your body feels empty on the inside, warmth was no longer there replaced by a bone chilling cold.

You pass out. When your coven sisters were aware that weren’t getting up again, they ran. They ran all the way to the mother of your coven to tell her what you did. They decided you would die for your actions.

When you gained consciousness you found yourself in a large glass. On the opposite side of the glass were your peers. You tried talking to them but none of them responded.

You weren’t truly panicking until the water started to flood into the sides of the glass. You began to bang on the glass, it did not relent. The water was ice cold as it started to climb up your legs.

“Please, please,” you beg them, tears streaming down your face.

“You never belonged in this coven, even with power, you are still a weakling,” the mother of the coven spat at you.

You felt your insides begin to burn again, but the cold water feels like it's putting out the fire. The water begins to rise. The higher it rises the more you fight against the execution.

Water begins to fill your lungs and you cough. It only makes more water enter your body. You begin to loose consciousness this time noting you won’t be waking again.

Your eyes flutter and before they close, you see a large flash of purple. You hear the glass tank you’re in begin to crack. You’re back is against the ground and your eyes are wide open.

“Is she breathing?”

“Do CPR.”

“Rio, I don't even know this gi-"

“DO THE CPR, AGATHA.”

Soon Agatha begins doing chest compressions on you. She hears a very feint heart beat. She moves to mouth to mouth. She tries to blow air into your lungs 2 or 3 times.

Eventually you start coughing, and she gains some distance.

“Are you alright bunny?”

You shake your head trying to clear the ringing.

“How did you?”

Your eyes begin to focus. You see the lifeless bodies of your coven members behind her. It makes you scramble back away from the woman.

“Hey, hey take it easy. They were trying to kill you, I did the right thing,” the woman tries to rationalize with you.

“What's your name?” You attempt to scramble to your feet.

“ Agatha Harkness. I’m not going to hurt you,” she stays in place eyes boring into yours.

Your eyes shift to the bodies once more, “How can I be sure?”

“She’s not going to hurt you, Y/n,” that voice was familiar to you.

You look behind you to see the woman you had come across in the forest. Seeing her in the daylight brings a brighter hue to your already flush cheeks. You begin to cough again.

“You- you put the fire in my hand,” you sputter.

She shakes her head, “That fire was inside of you, long before we crossed paths my sweet.”

“How did you find me?”

Agatha laughs, “Tell her how you found her Rio. Who you really are?”

Rio glares at Agatha, “Shut up, Agatha.”

“Who are you?” You whisper.

“I am Death,” she states.

You look at her waiting for her to say sike. To admit that this was some cruel joke, but she doesn't. Instead she just looks at you with her doe eyes.

“Let’s get you dry, bunny” Agatha says and with a flick of her hand, your clothes are dry.

“You wear my cloak.”

You pull it closer to your body, “ Keeps me warm.”

“I have been… drawn to you for some reason Y/n. You could've easily froze to death that night we met. You were so close, but then I interfered. It wasn’t your time yet. So I decided to offer you warmth.”

You stare up at her, “You must be mistaken. I am not… there’s nothing special about me. Especially nothing good enough to have Death save my life.”

“What did you do too have your whole coven turn against you?”

You stutter, “I- I got upset.”

Rio pushes you to further explain, “And what happened when you got upset?”

Your jaw twitches, “I started to feel hot on the inside.”

“And then what, bunny?”

You feel the fire roaring numbly inside of you, “I was covered it in fire. I shot it at them for teasing me. Some… some of them didn't move quick enough. ”

You begin to hyperventilate as the reality of your actions set in. You had killed people, their blood on your hands. Technically your entire coven was dead because of you.

“Deep breaths,” Agatha sits in front of you guiding you through the breaths. “Don’t feel ashamed for doing what you had to do for survival. It's not always about who is the strongest or even who is the smartest, it’s about who survives.”

“But for the record you were more powerful and smarter than all of them, “ Rio shares.

“I don't understand,” you look between the two women.

“Y/n, you are an elemental witch. It’s like a green witch on steroids,” Agatha explains.

You scoff, “Just because I made a fireball, anybody can do that.”

“You just said you were engulfed in flames,” Rio counters.

“Well that's just fire there are other elements,” you say, sure of your words.

Agatha nods, “Indeed there are, but you’ve only tried to play with fire. Give me your hand.”

Just like you had done months ago with Rio, you give Agatha your hand. She holds it face up with her own under yours.

“Now what?”

“Think of a flower. Any kind of flower. Be sure in the details. How long is the stem, does it have leaves on it? How big is the flower, is it multicolored?”

You follow Agatha’s instructions and easily enough a flower is sprouting out of your hand.

“How curious?” Rio glances at the flower you’ve made.

“What?” You ask gently pulling the flower from your palm.

“You made a Rio Dipladenia,” Agatha speaks breathless for a moment.

You furrow your brows, “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not. That flower, I created it for Agatha, so it’s quite the coincidence that you would think to make it,” Rio informs you.

A blush spreads across your face, “Oh, would you… do you want the flower, Agatha?”

Agatha’s eyes snap to Rio before settling on you, “You’re adorable, doll.”

“I agree, too adorable to be wandering the forest alone and untrained. Come with us Y/n, we will help you reach your full potential,” Rio insists.

You look between the two for a moment, contemplating. You had nothing. Your coven was dead, your powers were unpredictable at best, and you couldn’t stand the thought of being alone.

You slowly nod, “Ok.”

“Good choice, bunny.”

[pearldog30]

Ghost has a sister?

So I thought of this idea, and I thought it would be amazing what if Simon Riley discovers he had a little sister, he didn't know about. and how he would react finding out he has one family member left. Depending on how this turns out I might make a part 2 and if you want a part 2 please request! Part 2

Simon Riley X little sister reader

Other works 👉 Master list

Warnings| fluff, a little angst.

As you sit in the car looking out the raindrop covered window watching all the trees, buildings, cities, go by. listening to music quietly playing in your headphones, having one of those perfect car ride moments. Getting lost in your thoughts when you feel a tap on your leg, you jump at the unexpected touch. looking to your left your eyes meet with your Foster caretaker, slowly taking your headphones out, your caretaker begins.

"we're almost there, so have your headphones out so you can have a proper introduction. remember this is important." She says in a serious tone, trying to get it in your head that this is a reality. "ok" is all you can mustard up to say. You're a quiet person, always have been probably always will. You don't know if you should blame that on your quiet nature, or your traumatic childhood, either way you like keeping to your own, knowing you're safe in your own thoughts/worlds you've created. it's comforting, keeping you from all the traumatizing stuff you've been through. Even in this moment, you still can't help but drift off into those fake realities. trying to keep you from getting your hopes up, at the slight possibility that you might actually have a family member left, that might care for you, take you in, but who knows. you've never had your hopes up, not in this world. not at the hand that you've been unfortunately given.

As you pull up to the base Gates you see armed men at the gate, making you nervous. You've never had a good experience with men, not even in young years of childhood. so you're trembling at the thought of having to be surrounded by men, within the next few moments you're about to encounter. And before you know it, you hear a deep voice snappy out of your thoughts. "HEY! Personal form of ID please. I need to know what business you have here on base." A very tall, well built, man says in military uniform holding a rifle. "Here's our ID information sir we're here to have a meeting with John price" your caretaker says confidently unbothered by the situation. "OH! Go right on in we've actually been expecting you. When you come in take a left, and that first white building you see go right, through there. and someone will bring you to his office." He says opening the gate allowing you through. Y'all follow his instructions and he wasn't wrong, y'all are met with the white building.

As you slowly grab your backpack off the car floor, your hands begin to sweat from nervousness. What if this was all a lie, just a big joke to get your hopes up, that you have someone left. You open your car door and shut it, briefly. quietly following your caretaker into the building. Listening her to talk to people you don't know, you're trying to find something to distract yourself with. this isn't a reality you thought would happening right now. "All right, right this way" a woman in uniform snaps you out of your thoughts, gesturing you guys to follow her into a little office meeting room. you sit down, quietly staring at your caretaker, in the big chair. waiting to meet the supposed John Price, you hear the door open.

"this is Captain John price" a woman says. before a man enters a room with a funny hat, and a weird ass looking beard, that makes you chuckle to yourself quietly. "Holy fuck you really are y/n Riley you look just like him just in a small feminine form" he says smiling to himself, shocked at how much you look like someone you've never even met before. making you question how closely related You 2 really are. Hearing your caretaker clear her throat "Mr Price I am Mrs Riley legal Foster caretaker as of now. through previous messages you know why she's in the system. and I was told by you to come talk to you, before I even made any further attempt to contact her only family member left. could you please explain why" she says still annoyed that we had to come up here to base to talk to him, before we can even talk to your supposed brother. "Good reason for that, see the thing is when you contacted the base, you should be thankful it was me who got the message, before lieutenant Simon Riley did. he wouldn't believe you" so Simon is his name you think to yourself as those 2 bicker on. "Why should I be. it's quite unprofessional in this kind of field, we need to talk to the family member. not his leader" the caretaker States "Simon is a paranoid man we'll just put it at that. And I understand what you're trying to do for her, and I hope that Simon does as well. but the only way we can get Simon to see that this is real is this if you have m-" John gets cut off before the door opens.

And you see two men walk in one with the weird looking Mohawk, and the other a tall intimidating man wearing a skull mask. The two men just stand there awkwardly. staring at you, than to John, then to your caretaker. "Well speak of the devil" John says gesturing to the tall man wearing the mask. "That's not him is it" your caretaker says in shock, almost as if afraid. John just shakes his head "I'm afraid so" he breathes out. "Ay, what is this?" An Scottish accent breaks the awkwardness, and it comes from the shorter man of the two. "Will soapy boy. I was just about to have lieutenant Riley, come in here and discuss things about his little sister who needs his help." the room goes silent, almost as if no one's allowed to breathe. The two men staring wide-eyed "GHOST HAS A SISTER!?!" the Scottish man with the weird name, screams out. Before he's interrupted by an heavy British accent "UHH.. NO THE FUCK I DO NOT" The mask man finally speaks, that you have no other choice but now call your older brother.

"yes Simon you do actually, and this is a serious important matter. please come have a seat so we can discuss stuff" John says in a serious tone. trying to get it through his head "fuckin hell" your brother Huffs out. John excusing the Scottish Mohawk dude off leaving. the 4 of you alone now in the room. Simon taking a seat a few chairs away from you, glancing over at you every now and then, when you're not paying attention. "Mr Riley, I am your sister's guardian Foster caretaker. as of reasons I heard that you're her brother, and old enough to be her guardian. and it seems to be true, from all I've gathered. I was told by price to come to him first, and talk to him. but now that you're here I need to talk to you" your caretaker says happy she's finally able to get to the person she wants to talk to. "Look ma'am I don't know what you want or what you're trying to do. but from last time I've checked I don't have a sister nor I want one nor need one" and for some reason the words that leave his mouth break your heart, and you don't understand why. you've never meant this man until how. So why is it hurting your heart in a way. Price can see in your eyes, how it affects you, and he gives you a apologetic look.

Sighing angrily your caretaker looks to John for answers. "Look Simon for reasons I can understand why this is a lot to take in, and why you don't believe it. but you can't deny you two look alike, and I can already tell from how she acts y'all act like too" John says and this makes something shift in Simon, him looking around as if he wants to jump out the window. "And if I was then what do you want, there's nothing I could do" Simon says. slowly contemplating as if this might be true. "Well you could take her in, and be her guardian. and y'all grow a brotherly and sisterly Bond cuz you are the only person she has left" your caretaker says. turning back to you knowing, that this is your last chance in family. Simon looking back to you catching your eyes, and for some reason there's something in them that makes it feel like you've known him. "You know what how about we give you 2 sometime to talk alone" John says he knows that this is his last resort. in getting Simon to try and help, is on a one-on-one conversation with you and him.

Your caretaker and him exchanging nods, before they walk out. leaving you alone with the big intimidating Simon Riley. (And well awkward would be a overstatement to describe this) y'all are just sitting there. quietly staring at each other, waiting for one of you guys to break the silence. "Well fuck kid what's your name" he says finally breaking the awkwardness. "Y/n" you quietly say. And you feel vulnerable, knowing he's watching your every move taking in your body language. "Ok how old are you" he says and you can tell he's struggling. "I'm 14" you say, both of you wanting this to be over "Listen kid. I'm not good with this, so I'm not going to sugarcoat any of it. I don't even know you, nor did I even know I have a sister, nor expect I have one at all. so don't get your hopes up with me, it'll just break your heart." He says deeply, strongly, almost as if he's trying to take control of this. "And I wasn't expecting anything either, I didn't even really want to come here, I knew it all just be bad." You say, and this makes something in him change. But you can't tell what.

"well safe to assume, that if we are related I'm assuming we have the same dad" he says almost ashamed. looking at you, and this just makes you turn your head away, ashamed as well. "Fuckin hell. I was hoping that wasn't the case" he says looking down, and then back up to you. Then he moves his large hands up making you nervous. But suddenly he pulls his mask off revealing his face to you. you're meant with smudged face paint, and light brown hair, with a strong jawline. Staring at him taking in his features, you can definitely tell you guys are alike. Looking at each other exchanging head knobs, almost as if saying y'all understand the same hell you 2 went through in childhood.

Then quickly putting his mask back on, suddenly getting up from his chair shuffling out the door in a panic. You hear people talking on the other side of the door, for 10 minutes before your caretaker comes back in. Happier than before. "Ok I know this isn't a lot but it's something, and this is all up to you. I have his number, and mailing address, so you can keep in touch if you feel necessary" she says as you grab your bag, walking out of the office back to y'all's car. And you get lost in your own thoughts again, surprised! He just said he didn't want a sister, so now why do you have this, why should you have this, do you even deserve this? As your thoughts eats away at you. you hear someone else.

"HI GHOST LITTLE SISTER THAT WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT" you hear 2 men yelling, and you look behind you, before you exit the building. You see the Scottish man with the stupid nickname, named soap. and then standing next to him a little taller, black haired, tan man, with Mexican special forces on his vest. Waving their arms at you making you chuckle slightly as you see your brother coming up behind them, slapping the shit out of both of them, Cursing them out.

And that's going to be the end for this. I know it probably wasn't great ,but I was letting my mind do the writing. so if it's great please request for part 2 and I will gladly make it. Like always I hope you are having a good day/night wherever you are. reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🖤 (sideblog @pearldog)

[richeeduvie]

ok i'm dying to know, during lalo's stalking era, if he was in princesca's house while she was supposed to be out and she came home early, what's his move? does he hide, attempt to escape or play it cool? (assuming they're still in the getting-to-know-you phase or they've only met once, if you want to make it even scarier for princesca)

I do like the idea of Princesa just being watched by Lalo. I love scary Lalo, just the idea of him being so entitled to his delusions that he comes into her house to find out everything about her. He stole a DVD and would definitely go into her dad's room and make a comment on the smell, then he goes into her dresser to smell her panties before smiling at her stuffed animals. Cute. What a cute, pretty woman with lacy panties - and she's so shy.

Then she comes home early. He's hiding, no matter what, there's really nothing much you can do to excuse being in someone's room when they're not home and you don't live there. Lalo can't give himself away just yet. Besides, he wants to watch her.

Lalo hides in the closet and leaves when she uses the bathroom, but he also steals a sweater. And Princesa gets that tense, warm muscle feeling that something's wrong, like she's a kid in the dark. She sleeps in the living with the TV on, but Lalo just comes through the bedroom window in the night. He was watching her, knowing this funny girl fell asleep watching her movies and he got interested too, so he came in to get better sound.

But he'll lie in her bed for a bit, hands crossed on his stomach. Small bed for Princesa.

Then, he'll come to her on the couch, sit beside her - watch her breathe with dark eyes as the TV light flashes slight on their faces in the black of them room. Then, he'll watch the movie. Princesa's not aware that a killer sits right beside her, imagining what he's gonna do to her, how he wants to take her - because she needs to be taken care of, honestly.

It's like he's not hiding.

[jennay]

Play Pretend (2)

An: I was thinking about a mini series? What do you think? Anything you’d love to see? Angst, fluff, whatever? I can suggest smut but I’m not huge on writing it. Anyways if you enjoy and want more please reblog comment and let me know 💜

Master List

Part 1

Months passed before you gave in to Joseph and agreed to lunch. It's not that you didn't want to see him, but with how your life was going, it was easier to lie through a text message. You didn't want him to know for the past few months you'd been out partying and drowning any emotion you had with alcohol and any pain relievers you could get your hands on.

Joseph had asked if it was ok that Jamie came to lunch, and for a brief second, you were upset, and then you were excited to see him. You looked fabulous and could easily convince him you were doing fine without him. You'd be lying if you said you didn't miss Jamie's company, but there was no chance in hell that you would be the one to reach out.

When you round the corner, it's not hard to spot your dorky friends sitting around a table outside the restaurant. Jamie looked like a rockstar out of place, and Joseph looked like he was going to a photoshoot.

You quietly sneak up behind Joseph, giving Jamie the universal sign to be quiet by putting your finger to your lips. You abruptly grab Joseph's shoulders and yell, "Boo!"

Joseph spills his water on his lap, which causes Jamie to clap his hands together and laugh. "She got you."

You bend down and wrap your arms around his shoulders, leaving a slobbery kiss on his cheek. "Hello, darling, did you miss me?" You pull one of the chairs out and sit next to Joseph. You hand him a few paper towels. "We can't take you anywhere without you making a mess."

He glares and continues cleaning up his pants. "I didn't think you'd be so cheerful considering how drunk you were last night." He laughs, "Babbling on about your new lover."

Your mouth drops. "I told you about that?" You look around the table searching for water, your mouth feels dry, and you can feel hangover anxiety reaching your throat. You grab Jamie's ice water and take a drink. "Honestly, I'm hungover as shit, and I don't remember much from last night, so disregard anything I said." You say, taking another drink of water and

Jamie grabs his cup back from you. "I've got cooties, you know?" He chuckles at his own joke.

Shrugging, you say, "I've had grosser things of yours in my mouth."

Jamie's face scrunches, and he looks offended by your words. "I'm not gross!"

Joseph covers his mouth, making gagging noises, "That's not an image I wanted in my head."

"Sure you didn't." You wink in his direction.

He groans at your gesture, "I honestly could've done without, sweetheart."

"Are you ready to order?"

Your eyes shoot to the waitress, "I'll take a vodka cranberry and an ice water, please." You hand her your menu, not bothering with the food. You weren't hungry, but you needed something to kill the hangover. The two men watch with concern. "Look, I need you two to put those judgy eyes away. I can't handle any more anxiety today."

"I'll have the number twelve, please."

You find yourself admiring Jamie while he studies the menu. His finger taps his full lips, and he scrunches his nose every time he almost decides something.

His eyes raise to the waitress, "The number six sounds outstanding."

Joseph gently kicks your leg under the table, snapping you back to reality. You shake your head away from Jamie and meet Joseph's gaze, "So," He says, "Tell us about the new guy."

"Thank you." You say to the woman who brings you your drink. "Well, he's an actor. He's charming, funny, and the sex!" You say, emphasizing the last word.

"I don't want to hear about your sex life." Joseph says, "Not with Jamie, strangers, or yourself."

Jamie laughs, "We did have good sex." He teases Joseph.

Smirking, you say, "Maybe good for you." That's right (y/n); keep hitting him where it hurts the most. You give him the sweetest sarcastic smile you can muster up. "Anyhow, his name is Alex Shepard, and we actually haven't had sex. I'm saving the goods for now."

Joseph's brow crinkles, "The Alex Shepard?"

Jamie's body stiffens, and out of the corner of your eye, you see his look of disgust. "Alex is a pig. Do you know how many women have come forward saying he's abusive? You'd think you, of all people, would believe the victims."

"He was never charged, and it was a miss understanding. The two girls took back the claims and even said they were doing it for his money." You roll your eyes and chug the rest of your drink. "I shouldn't be surprised that you would have such a negative attitude about someone I'm dating." You set your glass down roughly. "You had your chance, Jamie. Now fuck off and let me find my person."

Jamie scoffs and pushes his food away, "No, absolutely not! You have no idea who you're dating. This has nothing to do with my feelings (Y/N). This is strictly because I care about you!"

"Guys." Joseph tries to intervene, but it's too late. "Lower your voices."

"You sound like a jealous boy." You taunt.

Jamie tilts his head, slightly annoyed by your assumptions. "Someone needs to look after you! Joseph is too nice to tell you, you make bad choices. Everyone sees it besides you. It's insane!" He yells.

You scoot back in your chair, aggravated by his words. You stand up and throw cash on the table. "It was nice seeing you guys and not at the same time. Seems to be a running theme, so I'm gonna go." You start down the sidewalk, not giving them any time to react. "Don't bother me anymore."

Part 3

Tag list - @cat-loves-music @lma1986

Thanks for reading!

[themultifandomgal]

Antonio- First Date

Antonio and I have become pretty good friends, regularly meeting up with my brothers and their friends at Mollys. We seem to have this flirty relationship, but because we are usually with other people it's kept pretty tame, however today only Antonio and I are free for a drink.

I walk up to the bar where Antonio is sat with two drinks

"Hey" I greet sitting down

"Got your usual" he hands my drink over to me

"Thank you. How was your day?"

"We had a tough case today. Kids involved" Antonio takes a deep breath "parents not getting along and one decided to kidnap the kids"

"Oh I'm sorry" I place my hand on Antonio's shoulder

"Just brought back some old memories. What about you? How was your day?"

"Boring. I had a planning day and spent the best part of it marking children's work. I'll have to plan my lessons over the weekend" I sigh sipping my drink

"You shouldn't have to work on you time off"

"I know but if I don't I can get fired"

"Seriously?" Antonio raises his eyebrow, I nod my head in response "that's fucked up"

"Might be, but it's only like you making sure you've filed all your paper work"

"But the difference is Voight makes sure we're paid for that and let's us go home when we need to"

"It's just a one off. It will be fine" I try to give a reassuring smile to my friend.

As we drink more, we both get a little tipsy

"I'll get us another drink" I tell him and get up from my seat and walk over to the bar

"Hey Gab can I have another round?" I ask

"Sure. How's your date with my brother going?"

"Date? No we're just having a few drinks"

"Oh my dear YN, this is a date" I frown at Gabby

"But we're just friends"

"Mmm hmmm. I see the way you look at each other. You find my brother very attractive, why I couldn't tell you, but you do"

"I mean yeah he's good looking, but..."

"Here. Now go back to your date" confused I take the glasses from the bar to the table Antonio and I are sitting at

"You ok?" He asks noticing the confused look on my face

"Erm yeah, just something Gabby said"

"Well what did she say?" Antonio takes the drink from my hand, our fingers brushing against one another

"Nothing important, don't worry about it" I shake my head. Do I want this to be a date? I do like Antonio, he's handsome, charming, funny, but he is like 8 years older than me, divorced, already has two kids. Does he really want a woman like me?

"Your thinking to hard"

"It's nothing honestly" I shake my head not wanting to ruin a friendship between us, but I can't lie, I would seriously like this to be a date. I sip my drink

"I'm not buying it. Your a terrible liar YN" I sigh looking down

"Gabby said this was a date and I...."

"You don't want it to be" my head shoots up to look at Antonio

"What? No, yes, I mean I don't know. Look I can't lie to you, your attractive, kind, funny"

"But?"

"But... what you want this to be a date?"

"Well that's what I thought it was when you asked to meet here just the two of us"

"So you thought this was a date the whole time?"

"Yes but if I've got the wrong idea then I'm sorry" a smile creeps on my face "what?"

"I didn't think this was a date at first. Then Gabbys comment made confused about whether it was or not. Then I started thinking about how you have already got kids, your 8 years older than me and you've already been married which I guess means you probably wouldn't want more kids or get married again, but I've...." before I can finish Antonio leans across the tables and kisses my lips "what was that for?"

"To get you to be quiet. You were rambling. Look YN I like you, I know I have a past but I would really like for us to call this a date and go on many more with you"

"I'd like that"

"Finally" I hear Gabby shout from behind the bar making me and Antonio chuckle. He takes my hand in his and we continue our date, planning a day for our next one, which Antonio said will definitely feel more like a date.

[baladric]

Thara/evru smut yes please 👀 although I do agree with what you said before like I also thought he sounded like a bit of a wet noodle and not worth thara's extreme grief. I don't doubt that they loved each other very much and I don't even blame him really for murdering his abusive wife but the fact that he lied to thara about it is what bothers me the most. I know he probably thought no one would find the body but he knew thara would have to witness for her if she was found and he knew what a horrible position that would put him in like being forced to talk to the spirit of a woman he hated and who probably hated him just as much and also thara now knows personally what it would be like to be murdered by evru which is horrific!! Not to mention making everything worse with the homophobic hierophant who already didn't like him and outing him to the whole town.

I guess his only redeeming factors are that I don't doubt he'd be truly sorry and regretful about the whole thing and that thara said evru said he never expected thara to lie for him or put him above his calling so I guess he at least understood how important that is to him and didn't expect thara to choose him over his calling but idk probably not a great dude overall (iana is way better for him anyway!!) I just hope he can eventually heal from all this grief and forgive himself and realise that other people do actually like him and care for him deeply

man see, i'm so torn now between the like original kneejerk assumption of meekness that i got from thara's brief overt descriptions of evru (that nickname we get in witness, evrin after a white deer, oof) and my deepening understanding of the history of queerness and violent homophobia?? plus the cycle of abuse, like. i think evru got the shortest possible end of the stick, and the shit we do when we're in protracted panic mode isn't automatically excusable but it's at least understandable. and i think the mistakes he made might not say much at all about him as a person, except that he was frightened—so i think i'm gonna welcome an alteration to how i think about him. like yeah he super fucked up, several times over (can i joke about an alternate universe where he panicked after killing oseian and confessed to thara, and w/o the pressure of legally witnessing for her thara was just like well shit ok lets deal w this i love u [with some guilt probably, but also thara's fairly dispassionate about shitty ppl dying when he's not charged w seeing them laid to a just rest] and helped him get rid of her body better and then everyting was FINE) but man like.

what if he was funny? what if he was gentle with dinged-up old thara? what if he was tall and beautiful and thara thought of him with the same reverence as ulis's moon? what if he braided thara's hair for him and made sure he ate a square meal regularly?

what if the nickname everin is less about temperament, and more about the innate grace and deliberateness of his movements? what if his ears were constantly in motion, despite all attempts to control them? what if thara called him evrin to tell him that this, too, was beautiful? what if he was broad and strong like an elk, and oseian's abuse went unnoticed by all but thara, because who could abuse a man so big, so strong? after all, men are never the abused—only the abuser. after all, he had been the one to sweep oseian off her feet, and if the passion there had cooled to the public eye, well that was just marriage, wasn't it?

what if evru dalar tried so very, very hard to be a good man? what if he was? what if he was kindness itself, until that one animal moment? what if it was an accident?

what if thara celehar struck him to his core the first time evru stepped inside aveio's ulimeire, there to honor the passing of the old clocksmith, who he'd always liked? thara celehar, pale as milk against the black of his vestments; thara celehar, made fey and strange beneath ulis's moon mask. thara celehar, with the voice like the murmur of distant thunder heard in the dimming afternoon—the sort you know means you'll fall asleep to the sound of rain on your roof, feeling soft and safe? what if safety was so very rare a feeling? what if you didn't quite understand the urge to fall into step with a quiet young man, whose eyes without the mask were blue as hope itself?

what if your friendship surprised him? what if you liked that? liked how it looked on him—surprise, uncertainty, the tinge of pink in his ears when you smiled at him?

what if you kissed him in the empty creche of his ulimeire, filling a space that was meant to honor the unknown? what if he was frightened—what if he was fervent—what if his love washed you clean like that rainstorm of your first imagining?

what if—?

[awokerph]

—— the man they call cayde.

an assortment of quotes from the 'the man they call cayde' lorebook from destiny 2: forsaken. feel free to change as you see fit

"All joking aside—maybe I've made mistakes."

"I miss that girl."

"This ain't easy for me."

"Thought it would be. Easy, I mean."

"I'm sick of "maybes.""

"Let's keep this between me and you, OK?"

"Read between the lines if you have to."

"Sounds ominous, I know."

"You become what you become."

"Because it's MY fuel to burn."

"My calling is to do good."

"There's a difference."

"I don't like to brag."

"Do good. Be good. Push the limits. Take back what's ours."

"And that was my first bet… All in."

"I'll fight to ensure we stick around long enough to see that "best" turn to better and that "worst" fade to memory."

"I'm only good because he was good."

"Meaning I couldn't lose."

"Meaning the better man would always win."

"He was my friend. A brother, even."

"It's the day-to-day struggles where we learn the most about the world, about ourselves."

"If you squint, you can see all we were and all we can be."

"In hindsight, we were waaay too ambitious."

"Didn't see it in that light at the time. But, then again, you never do."

"What's the statute of limitations on misspent youth?"

"I won, he lost."

"You give your word, you keep it."

"It's a stupid thing. But it's an honor thing."

"It cost me my friend."

"I cost me my friend."

"Nothing we couldn't handle."

"We got cocky."

"But he's not here."

"Funny how all the cool kids leave the party too soon."

"Hey, kid."

"This is how one-to-one works now."

"I never wanted this."

"YOU never wanted this."

"Someone's changed the game."

"Someone's not playing nice."

"Might wanna do something about that."

"You get to choose who and how you want to be."

"They're yours, too. By right."

"And that means you're trouble."

"People trust your word, they'll trust you. And trust? It's hard to come by and easy to lose."

"At least you can go out knowing you did the right thing when it was asked."

"I'm getting poetic here."

"Not a fan. But who is?"

"Looking back, I wish maybe we had."

"Brothers don't stay mad at brothers, that's just the way it is."

"My Queen is my heart."

"She is my memory of love. My understanding of it… only exists through her."

"Even when we win, it seems like all we do is lose."

"If there's one thing I'm not, it's a defeatist."

"It's a hard life."

"For all my charms, seeing the good in the gone ain't one."

"That's how big the hole she left is… Massive. It devours."

"Not sure it's healthy, the way I deal with loss."

"Everything I said about my Queen is true; she is my shield."

"She is also a lie."

"I see a woman there, and she's all I've ever known of a life long since gone."

"Is that love a memory, or am I simply loving the memory?"

"They promised something more."

"I clung to them."

"That's what I am offering to you here: a chance."

"Go find your own."

"It's not a confession. It's a warning."

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 36: The Fog Troupe

This deserves to be here. Look at him go.

I might be overthinking it, but it resembles Amon's silhouette.

Heh. Fire Demon.

Y'know. Bc the djinns are based on demons from The Lesser Key of Solomon? Ha? Ok, I'll just shut up.

Alibaba should be given more chances to actually look hot. Like, bro.

You know? Fair.

Oh, so that's what happened. Yea, having Amon gave them a better chance at escaping, so they could absolutely get more bold. And associating the Fog Troupe with a guy that can summon a FIre Tornado... Yea, very understandable freakout.

"reduced to a thief" shut the fuck up.

Oh, yeah, definitely Cassim's idea.

Also, what's your problem with thieves? Your goddamn adviser is an ex-assassin, but a THIEF is too much? Didn't you also condone stealing like a chapter or two ago? With these starving people? But NOW it's a problem?

So, I don't want to write a tw again, but in very short, the SML Brothers saved a woman from being SA'ed, so I guess they're relatively decent. Well, slavery is ok, but they draw the line here, I guess.

Oh, finally, the Fan problem addressed.

Overall, lot's of talking abt how things are going. Short answer: bad. "This country has no gold currency left."

Sus person, and then the meeting. Also, holy shit, look at Alibaba at the top. He's literally drawn in a way like he's shining there. I wonder how that building looks, is there a hole/window at the top? Was it just for aesthetic reasons that Ohtaka made it look like this, or was it also part of whatever the fuck Cassim was trying to achieve? In this case, same as before - look at Alibaba, all of you. Look at him, and not the person controlling him from the shadows.

Ughhh. That bitch.

It's a threat. As in, the three are absolutely threatening them, I just feel it, y'know? It's, like, a challenge. You sure want to try us? And anyway, Cassim looks almost friendly, and Alibaba looks menacing, which we know they neither actually is. Though, to be fair, as long as they aren't nobles, Cassim might look at them a little more favorably, so, honestly, they might not be threatening them. But it still feels like a threat. But, like, maybe I'm biased, maybe it isn't...

Anyway, this is how my brain works, heh

Alibaba can be scary when he tries to.

I don't know, it's kinda funny that they'll later end up helping Alibaba out just because. Like, I genuinely don't remember when did their attitude change. I'm genuinely curious.

THERE IT IS. We find out SO EARLY that Alibaba's just following Cassim, but I'll have you one better soon.

No, he's not.

Like, I had to put them all for photo limit reasons, but also bc of how damn important all of it is. We find out SO EARLY that Cassim is emotionally manipulating Alibaba. Where do I even begin in all of this!

Cassim is an insane character. As in, it's the type you hate for 98% of the arc, and then you fucking cry for him, and these early moments always remind me WHY you start off by hating the guy. He's using their shared past to keep Alibaba around, to have him lie and do what Cassim tells him to do. He speaks about the children, he appeals to Alibaba and his own childhood, and Alibaba's a deeply empathetic person, of course it works. Then he makes a point that it has to be Alibaba who helps them, nobody else. And even guilt trips him numerous times in the conversation. You're the one who left (you abandoned us, chose royalty over family), make sure these children won't die like my (our) sister (you weren't there when that happened, you did NOTHING, even though you were in the palace). I BEG you, stay with me and let's fight together like we used to (you are the one who wants to stay, so I'll let you, but only if you help me).

Like, god. it was intense. And the worst part is - Alibaba knows. He knows that Cassim is manipulating him, and he knows that their current relationship is dangerously conditional. If he doesn't do what Cassim tells him to do, he'll be kicked out at best, and then what? Then he'll be alone, and what about Balbadd? What about these children? What can he do, then? Cassim's the idea person, he's always been the one in charge between the two of them. How can he help Balbadd without Cassim?

All of this is so painful, man. Have some Alibaba failing to smoke.

Bro, don't worry, it's healthier that way.

Bro, I'm so sad ;_;

: (

Lmao.

Scary.

This is still hilarious.

Ouch

I still wonder what the hell is his scent.

He looks so sad, actually.

Man, he's such an emotional wreck this entire arc, god.

You know, I absolutely support your judgement Morgiana, but also, sometimes people don't want to talk about things.

It's a semi-joke, Morgiana wouldn't be prying if there was no good reason for it.

Aaaand, the image limit, of course, so we're skipping Alibaba being sexist. Tho, to be fair, it sounded like his last resort argument, shitty as it was, and Morgiana justifiably just looked at him. Dunno, I always wonder how serious Alibaba's sexism is, because, frankly, it appears... maybe three times? Also, twice towards Morgiana, and one towards Toto in some extra. Actually, maybe four, but it's 3 with Morgiana, then. It's actually my bone to pick with their relationship (well, one of many), because as much as I love Alibaba, and I am mostly indifferent to Morgiana, I don't like the way Ohtaka makes him treat her at times, and I think she deserves better. And it's just so weird, he doesn't treat Kougyoku like that, for example. It's not like it's something about strong women, because Kougyoku could beat his ass for sure... and also he actually finds Morgiana & her strength awesome. I dunno. It'll probably take me some time to figure out my thoughts about it. Idk, it might be something internalized (given the period they live in, it's a possibility), or maybe he's just repeating after people... actually, now that I'm thinking, his wording sounded like something Sinbad would've said, ngl, and Sinbad is kinda sexist, so maybe it's all connected... How much does he mean it, though? Idk, I'm thinking abt that scene in the Final Arc after they argued (eh, we'll get there), and how he's like I won't apologize to a woman (which is weird, bc he apologized to Kougyoku earlier that arc, my mind tells me it happened twice, but I'm not sure - at least once for not telling her about Zepar), but when Morgiana gets there they both apologize, so he isn't actually "above apologizing to a woman", it's more like he was searching for an excuse, and chose the simplest option... and then didn't even follow on what he'd himself said. So, like, he's saying sexist stuff at times, but doesn't actually believe it???? Maybe???? I don't fucking know, man.

I deleted some earlier photo to fit in this one, bc it's hilarious. Morgiana takes none of this bullshit. And I find Alibaba's face when she grabs him adorable. I mean, in the last panel it's funny & cute, too.

[hellcatinnc]

Bungo Stray Dogs Season 1 Anime Review

Does Include Spoilers....

Ok so I started watching Bungo Stray Dogs and like most I started because of Dazai. He was sexy and even with his wish for suicide he just got to me. Then I watched the first season and was so happy I did it pulled me in fast. Dazai quickly lost the main reason for the show for me it honestly became my favorite character in first season being Atsushi Nakajima. He had so much heart and compassion that the rest lost so long ago. He made me feel as he learned who he was and who he could help. I grew a strong liking to the character and even shipped him with Kyōka Izumi the way he saved her and even the fact he took her on a date they were just too adorable not to love. Ranpo Edogawa caught my interest mainly cause the voice actor Hiroshi Kamiya who played Baldr Hringhorni in Kamigami No Asobi. I was really surprised that Doppo Kunikida even grew on me and his comedian side to him of how he was with Dazai and always knocking the crap out of him but I could tell he was a good man. Anyways Kunikida's power is pretty cool "The Matchless Poet". I love how he can throw the cards out and whatever it is appears. I also think him and Dazai work so great together.

Now don't get me wrong Osamu Dazai is still a big part of the show and I found it funny how he was about the whole suicide with a beautiful woman. It left me wondering why he wanted to die so much but I know its shown as the seasons go on cause I started season 2 already and already starting to understand but I will leave that in season 2 review of it. So the relationship between Jun'ichirō Tanizaki & Naomi Tanizaki was so weird at first but fuck it I didn't even care they were siblings because not only do you easily forget but they don't look alike at all I feel like maybe there is like an adoption kinda story to them maybe. Anyways you know early on their is not only a relationship with them but its also sexual. However when she almost gets killed the way he responds to losing her and later as well he doesn't get even as a brother he gets even as a lover so I'm gonna treat them just as that fuck it, its not like sibling loves bother me much in anime/otome world. Plus not gonna lie Jun'ichiro his power "Light Snow" is pretty damn neat.

Yukichi Fukuzawa seems like a stickler in the beginning but you find he truly believes in his team and he grew on me. I felt like he cares about each and everyone of them and will fight for them at any cost. He is practically Daddy to them all and I think they would fall apart sometimes if he wasn't the lead of it all. Chūya Nakahara seems to be a cool character but of course I feel like he isn't really a main in the first season however I find him actually pretty attractive as well but I swear its how he dresses more than anything its so damn sharp looking. He gives me that true mafia/yakuza feel to how he looks and dresses. He seems to have anger issues but I love his banter between him and Dazai however I don't see this romance so many want and like. I will pass for now both men are hot and I would gladly be in between these men could make a very interesting smut story thats for sure... lol.

Michizō Tachihara seems like a crazy fuck but still pretty cool character so far based on the first season at least, look forward to seeing him more later he has my attention at least. Even though Ryūnosuke Akutagawa is an asshole in the first season he has one of the coolest powers by far his Rashōmon power like a dragon like creature that he can cut people down easily with. I feel bad for Ichiyō Higuchi because you find fast she is so damn in love with that man and he treats her like pure crap however doesn't stop her from taking on the enemies to bring him back when he is captured. The one sentimental moment where he grabs her hand after she saves him I really wanted after he told her he was sorry I wanted her to tell him she loved him I wonder if it would have changed. I feel like his issue is he doesn't even see her following to him is because she loves him. However its a very toxic relationship at least first season, I just hope it gets better because I think they would be good together plus bad guy or not he is fuckin hot too. Speaking of Ichiyō Higuchi honestly girl has some balls and she will do anything even die for that man I can respect her because she probably could have gotten out from what you get from her but she refuses to leave his side. Gin Akutagawa I still don't know much about him but still seems mysterious and attractive cause of that.

After breaking down the people that all made it interesting for me, yes I know there is more these just happen to be my list of favorites. Still amazes me a show with alot of hot bad guys kinda reminds me of Piofiore in that sense. Anyways I feel like it brings a decent amount of action however every part doesn't have to have it which I really like since I normally don't watch ones that are too heavy on it. I love Dazai's power and how he can hush any of the others with his power practically neutralizing even some of the worst bad guys. I still don't see anyone being gay and I will stand by that and I'm ok because seriously too many hot guys for me to even think about them together I would rather think about them being straight makes it easier to fantasize about them then. Overall I would gladly recommend this to anyone whether your into otome and shoujo the most I think you could still like this if nothing but the comedy side of things. I look forward to the next upcoming seasons as I catch up I will write my review on each season.

[storywriter12]

The babysitting disaster

So this is another house fanfic it's huddy and a little of hilson at the end I hope you enjoy it

He wished now he didn't ask her but he was pressured into doing so, so one night he went to her door and asked her on a date she said yes but only if he will look after rachael whilst she worked he of course said yes but wasn't thrilled with the idea and blamed Wilson but if course Wilson thought it was an amazing idea

(cuddy) as I came in from the snow holding the baby carrier I saw house I walked to him, oh I actually thought you wasn't going to come in today and avoid this like the plague he looked me up and down and shook his head "of course I wasn't if this is what I have to do for you to come out with me I suppose I'll do it" I smiled handing the baby carrier to him. Now Rachel you are going to spend today with uncle house be good I said kissing her and walking off

(house) I looked down. At the baby who looked at me uhh OK let's get this over with I got to my office placing the baby onto the table everyone looked at me. It's a little deal I have to do so cuddy will go on a date with me

(forman) and she left you to look after a baby? As I said that the baby cried

(house) uh now look what you've done I said shhh … , shhh I picked up the baby rocking it back and forth everyone stared at me what? Forman shook his head

One hour later

(house) whilst the team was running tests I sat on my chair switching on cartoons for the baby who stared at the colours with amazement she then started to fuss. It's OK sweetheart I picked her up standing up and carrying her around the room making funny noises was the only way to not make her cry

(cuddy) I went to check on house and when I walked up to his office and was about to go in I stopped seeing Rachel laughing and house smiling. It melted my heart. I watched for a little longer how Rachel held his face as he held her up in the air and she smiled. I walked away going back to do paper work

One hour later

House was on clinic duty he took the baby in the rooms with him which was a big mistake because everytime he would ask questions the patient would pay more attention to the baby but he wasn't complaining it made him do less work

(reception) Dr house a note for You

(house) grate I placed the carrier down taking the note i then went to go and refill my vicodin I walked back and looked around…. Where did the baby go? I asked the woman shook her head. I rolled my eyes going back to my office, OK very funny where is she? I asked come on this isn't funny cuddy will fire me

(13)We don't know what you are talking about . I looked at him and he had no baby with him. Oh my god you lost the baby?

(house) no.. No, the baby is fine, look she's here, can't you see her? Well I missed place her and I Need you guys to help me find her

(forman) house we have a patient and why should we help?

(house) is the patient dying? "no we just put her on meds she is getting better" kutner said see and also if you don't. Help me and I get fired. You will be out of a job because we both know that you can't work anywhere else. He nodded, "OK guys let's find this baby" he said all of them stood up. Listen if any of you see cuddy just tell her that the baby is fine they nodded walking off.

Hour later

(13) she's not in the toilets she's not in the ER I had to lie to Cameron I said

(Taub) she's not outside

(forman) we should be telling cuddy if someone else took her a stranger we should at least call security

(13)if we do that cuddy will know come on let's keep looking

(house) I checked the corridors and that's when I bumped into cuddy ahhh!!! "house?" um hi

(cuddy) where's Rachel?

(house) um she is… Is That a new top you really do subduing me at work don't you?

(cuddy) no it's old you know that wait a minute where is rachel?

(house) I….i….. I Don't have her I said to cuddy who looked panicked

(cuddy) what do you mean house? What do you mean you don't have her?

(house) I…. I…. I, I huff cuddy you see (gets cut off from baby fussing) I looked to my side seeing Wilson holding her I wave of relief went over me

(Wilson) house there you are I changed her for you I said handing her to cuddy I smiled

(house) that's what I meant when I said I didn't have her I ment I didn't have her at the moment

(cuddy) I smiled. That's fine I'm glad you looked after her today house why don't we make time you can pick me up? He nodded I walked off

(Wilson) you are welcome

Hours later

(house) I opened the door to Wilson's office walking in where did you find her? I asked he stopped writing looking up at me

(Wilson) one of my patients found her in the lobby she gave her to me

(house) why didn't you give her back? I asked

(Wilson) I don't know, I shrugged "oh my god!" what?

(house) you're jealous "what no!" you don't like the thought of me being with cuddy I smiled wow you took her didn't you? so I could look bad

(Wilson) no house I didn't take her I huff "everyone is right you totally like me" I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out "uh thank you" what?

(house) You could have said something to cuddy but you didn't so thank you I said walking to the door and I was about to shut it before I heard "you owe me a date to" he said I turn back. Do I? I asked with a smirk on my face I nodded OK you pick out where you wanna go and I'll take you.

(Wilson) you'll get lucky with me even if you don't with …. Cuddy I, said feeling myself blush

(house) lucky me, see you then I said walking out of his office

[an-indecisive-mess]

Aria x Hermes Incorrect Quotes

Hermes: *seductively takes off glasses*

Hermes: Wow...

Aria: *blushes* Haha... what?

Hermes: You’re… really blurry

Aria: I owe you one.

Hermes: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even

(*Source: Lilo and Stitch)

Aria: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Hermes: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

Aria: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Hermes: I wrote you a poem.

Aria, already crying: You did?

Aria: The stars are so beautiful...

Hermes: They're just giant balls of gas.

Aria: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Hermes: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Aria: Oh...

Hermes: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Aria: Aren't you forgetting something?

Hermes: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Aria's forehead before running out.*

Aria: No, pay your bill! Geez, who raised you?

(*Source: Brooklyn 99)

Pain: You love this woman (Aira), don’t you?

Hermes: Yes..

Panic: You wanna hold her?

Hermes: Yes.

Pain: Please her?

Hermes: Yes!

Pain and Panic: 🎶Then you’ve got-ta got-ta try a little tenderness!🎶

Pain: The chicks LOVE that romantic crap!

(*Source: Shrek)

Hades: Why are Aria and Hermes sitting with their backs to each other?

Pain: They had a fight.

Hades: Then why are they holding hands?

Panic: They get sad when they fight.

Aria: Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?

Hermes: Come back alive, Aria. Then we'll see.

(*Source: Percy Jackson)

*Aria and Hermes are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Aria: I think Houdini did this once! Why, if I remember right, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Hermes, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

(*Source: Brave Little Toaster)

Hermes: I'm dating your daughter.

Hades: And?

Hermes: I thought that you would be more surprised.

Hades: Oh, I'm sorry.

Hades, surprised: And?!

Aria: We have to find my darling Hermes. I’m so worried about him.

Hades: Seriously. What do you see in that guy?

Aria: He makes me laugh.

(*Source: Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

Aria, at Hermes: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Sirena, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

(*Source: Mulan)

Aria: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Hermes: Thank you.

Aria: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Hermes: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Hercules: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Hermes: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Aria, scoffing: Oh, please.

Hermes, to Aria: Hey, how you doin’?

Aria: *giggles and blushes*

(*Source: Friends)

Aria: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Hermes: This is a lie.

Hermes: I'm literally dating her. This is a lie.

Hermes: SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS?

Aria, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Hermes: How?

Aria: How what?

Hermes: How could they be worse?

Aria: They couldn’t, I lied.

Hermes: …

(*Source: Brave Little Toaster)

Panic: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Aria: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Hermes. I just think he’s cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him.

*Later that night*

Aria, very much awake: Uh oh.

(*Source: Gravity Falls)

[donnabroadway]

Forever Young

Age shaming to me is an interesting thing. I find it funny, not haha funny but the weird type, that people will compare a picture or video of a celebrity in their 20s to how they look and move in their late 30s, 40s, or even 50s and say "what happened?" The same thing that will hopefully happen to everyone, if they're lucky to live long enough, they aged.

I was recently watching This Christmas and some of the people I was watching with were discussing Lauren London and one of the women said, she doesn't look like that anymore and proceeded to pull up pictures of how she looks now. You mean to tell me that nearly 40 year old Lauren London doesn't look like 21/22 year old Lauren London. Color me shocked. Shocked I say.

Millennials are having to accept that we are aging and that we are technically middle aged. While most of us are only in our mid-late 30s and that is hardly old, it would be a lie to say that we don't look our age. There are very few of us that still looked how we did in our early 20s. When I see a post on social media of someone bragging about their age and saying 50 where or 40 where? I wanna say there because we can see it. It's there, it may not be obvious to everyone else but I can see it. Many times when a gen zer has a young looking mom, it is because the mom is usually young. If you're 20 and your mom had you at 16, that means she's only 36 and should look young because she is young. This obsession with proving ones youth and ability to remain looking youthful is weird and pointless. I see some stars who had some of their most iconic looks in the 80s and 90s, trying to recreate those looks' in their 50s and 60s and I'm just like, ok you look good but you definitely remade that outfit to fit your current size and body shape or let that dress out some and there is no shame because it looks great and makes for great content but let's be for real. You look good but not the way you did in your 20s and that's okay. Some of us age "better" than others but we still age, nonetheless.

I think with social media, the constant creation of appreciation posts and the uploading of old shows and videos from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and even 2000s we forget that people age because we're so used to seeing them how they looked in they heyday that we forget it was so long ago. Many stars reach their peak in their late teens-early 30s and even if they are still currently working, we often only see pictures of them from that period, so it can be a bit jarring to see a recent picture of that same celeb and see that they've aged and in some instances, not the way the public imagined them to have. I remember a few years ago when the Nicole Murphy, Lela Rochon, and Antwan Fuqua, cheating scandal/love triangle happened, people had the nerve to say that he deserved to cheat because Nicole Murphy still looked the same in her 50s as she did in her 20s and Lela Rochon let herself go. The sheer delusion of thinking a woman in her late 50s, almost 60s, who has lived life, had children, maybe health issues will look the way she did in her 20s and don't get me wrong, Lela's face card isn't declining, her body is just different and while everyone thinks they will be Nicole still wearing bikinis with their right and tight bodies that put women half their age to shame, lets be realistic. In my 20s and early 30s, I ate horribly and barely exercised but I was able to lose weight by simply working out a few times a week and tweaking my diet, now in my late 30s, I try to control my diet and I work out an hour a day, every day, sometimes even adding a walk or two with my children, and the scale has barely budged since having my youngest daughter almost 3 years ago. It has taken a bit to accept that my body has changed because I am a woman nearing a certain age. I am a woman in her 30s, who looks like she is in her 30s. I know women who look young and have barely aged and I can tell you that while she does take care of herself, genetics has a big part to play in it and you can't outrun genetics. It catches up to you every time. Angela Bassett, who is goals in her 60s, works incredibly hard and keeps a very disciplined regimen to maintain her physique and let's be honest, most of us are not that disciplined.

It is a weird flex to go to someone and say "that's why you old" as if time is not ever moving and one day they will be old too. No one stays in their 20s forever, unless they have unfortunately met an early demise and in that case, they truly are forever young but if you are aging, that God for the ability to live and enjoy life, no matter what age you are.

[terrifictoonman]

[WP] It’s PTA day at school! Unfortunately your mom is sick and can’t go, so your father goes in her stead… The only issue is your father is a literal demon from Hell. Surprisingly, everything went OK. [Reddit - u/Endulos] (12/04)

~Devil's in the Details~

{Warning: LOOOOOOOOOONG}

----------

So, here's my situation...

In my little slice of heaven, Evelin County, the PTA is right up there with the sheriff's office and the mayor. You make the right friends, do a few favors, and bake the right cookies, and that turns into scholarships, recommendations, and basically a full ride to any school you want.

My mom has been working her way up the PTA ladder since she knew she was pregnant with me. She's saved up enough IOUs to guarantee me a doctorate in any field I want, with a seven-figure hiring salary to boot. There's just one problem...my dad.

Love the man to death and back, but he despises the PTA. He says they're a bunch of soulless, manipulative, power-hungry hyenas who could care less for the betterment of the students or their families, which is funny, seeing that he's a demon. Now, he is "Reformed," for the most part, but there's a reason my mom and I did everything in our power to keep him as far from the PTA as humanly possible.

That is until my mom got sick.

Nothing too bad, just a really bad stomach virus, but it meant she was too sick to go to her meeting. Now, missing a meeting every once in a while is understandable, but this was the Memorial Meeting where PTA leaders of old returned to honor a lucky few with what is essentially a golden ticket. The very few kids who've gotten one are now so rich they don't even lie on their taxes or have offshore accounts.

All my mom's work led up to this moment. She used every last favor she had to get a seat with Penelope Tyler Addison, the first head of the PTA, and a chance at getting me a golden ticket, but when she got sick, it nearly destroyed her. So, my dad, the loving husband he is, offered to fill in. After trying every medicine, spell, and curse she could think of to cure satan's cold, my mom begrudgingly let my dad go.

And the grin on his face could only be described as, "I am going to Fuck. Shit. Up!"

So, after days of shopping, rehearsing, and a really fun daddy-daughter spa day, the night had arrived. We entered the auditorium looking amazing. Me in my humble red dress shirt with the sleeves rolled, a black midi skirt with a matching belt, a color-coordinated handbag, and my auburn hair in a perfect bun. Then there was my dad, jet black hair combed to perfection, wearing a perfectly tailored black three-piece suit, gold cufflinks with a matching Rolex, and his favorite bright...red...tie...

I blinked. All I did was blink, and he was gone. Only the faint sound of maniacal laughter could be heard as I looked into the crowd with dread.

So, here we are. My entire future is on the line, and my dad's running at it with scissors in both hands. Only one person can stop him: me, Diana Pater.

Diana weaved through the multiple crowds of guests with grace and gusto, saying high to her fellow students and also having polite but quick conversations with other parents and school faculty. Diana notices an eerie, shadowy figure in the distance every few minutes, believing it to be her father. She races through the crowds only to find the figure gone.

"I can't believe it," said Diana, "he's using demon magic. Ooooh, I am rat on him so fast when we get home!" In her frustration, Diana doesn't notice an elderly lady and bumps into her, nearly causing the woman to spill her tea. "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, ma'am!"

"Oh no, dear, it's more than fine," said the elderly woman. "More people than floor at these get-togethers nowadays. You know, back in my day..." Diana becomes tense as she realizes she fell into the oldest party trap there is, the reminiscing elder. The woman drones on about her youth and how different the PTA was when she was younger for what feels like hours.

Meanwhile, Diana notices the shadowy figure popping between crowds all around her while she's held captive by politeness and conversational etiquette. Diana looked down at the elder's nearly empty tea cup. She fights against an idea forming in her mind but studies herself with a deep breath.

"Excuse me, miss," said Diana.

"Please, call me Gabbi," said Gabbi.

"Ms. Gabbi, I can't help but notice you're almost out of tea," said Diana. "How about I get you a refill? Then you can find a nice place to sit and finish your story."

"I would be so blessed," said Gabbi as she handed her cup to Diana. "Not too many like you in this generation. Your parents should be proud." As Gabbi turned to start looking for a table, Diana stopped her.

"Ms. Gabbi, wait," said Diana, "you forgot your tea." Gabbi laughed at what she thought was a joke until she saw her glass filled with hot tea. The elderly woman found herself unable to look away from her drink, seeing her life in every ripple of her drink. The steam from the tea wafts into her face, and a light green energy pulses through her veins. That same energy passed over her eyes like a wave before she looked up, staring far past Diana into the distance. She then shuffled through the crowds.

Diana watched as Gabbi wandered into the mass of people, guilt plain on her face. She then feels a rush of energy fills her body, almost overwhelming her. When the feeling subsides, she pulls a compact mirror from her handbag. Her skin has gone from light bronze to a rich tan, and her eyes from dark brown to bright yellow. "Sorry, Gabbi. Tea's on me next time, I promise."

Diana continues to walk through crowds but appears to be using them like portals, entering one and coming out another on a completely different side of the auditorium.

"Lord damned, I've been out of the game too long," said Mr. Pater as he walked out of another crowd. "I mean, how hard can it be to find one stuffy bag of bones?" Mr. Pater walks into another crowd only to be stopped by his daughter, who grabs him by his jacket collar.

"Gotcha!" said Diana.

"Guess I'm not the only one getting in trouble tonight," said Mr. Pater.

"A necessary evil to accomplish my goals," said Diana, "just like Ms. Adderson and the PTA."

"There is a diamond chandelier on the ceiling," said Mr. Pater. "What part of the school's budget did that come from, ya think?"

"I know you're not about to lecture anyone on frivolous spending," said Diana.

"Well, I did write the book on it," said Mr. Pater. "I've also been working on a sequel, "Ditching your Demon Daughter on the Doorstep" Chapter One..." With the snap of his fingers, Diana instantly appeared outside the auditorium holding her dad's jacket. Diana growls in frustration as she throws the coat back on the ground and charges back into the auditorium.

Back inside the now even more crowded auditorium, Diana struggles to move a few inches, fully at the mercy of the sweaty sea of people. Finally finding some room to breathe, Diana looks around, unable to see anything other than the ever-shuffling crowd.

"Ok," said Diana, "I don't need to find dad to stop him. All I need to do is beat him to Ms. Addiline!" Diana then looks up at the chandelier on the ceiling. "And I know exactly who to ask."

Next to the indoor entrance to the auditorium, a woman sits in a golden chair wearing a silver off-the-shoulders dress with royal purple ruffles at the top, a purple sun hat with a silver ribbon, and a diamond necklace with hints of silver inside.

The woman watches the crowd with an aura of superiority, occasionally scoffing and sticking her nose up at those passing her. After shooing away a small child, the woman looks up to find a paler Diana standing in front of her, nearly causing the woman to fall out of her chair.

"Enjoying the party, Evilyn?" asked Diana.

"Once again, daft child, it's Mrs. Edalyn," said Edalyn, using the most obvious fake British voice ever heard. "I see once again your poor excuse for a mother has failed to instill in you any manners." Diana struggles to disguise her anger as she tightens her fists behind her back. "Speaking of which, where is your mother? I would have figured she'd be parading around how she blackmailed her way into getting Ms. Addison's invite."

"She had...personal business that needed her attention," said Diana. "My daddy and I are here on her behalf." Edalyn scoffed.

"Your father?" scoffed Edalyn, "What is going to do? Try and pay her off with his brain-rotting books. You would have been better off coming alone!"

"Oh, I bet you know a lot about ***THAT***!" whispered Diana.

"Excuse me, young lady," barked Edalyn, "Do not murmur to your elders! Speak clearly!"

"You're right," said Diana, bowing her head, "I'm sorry. I was just wondering if you knew where we could find Ms. Adderson. We've been looking all night but haven't been able to find her. "

"Because you don't," said Edalyn, a large grin across her face. "Ms. Addeson doesn't sully herself with the riff-raff. She'll only send for those she feels might be worthy of her company, and given the current state of the PTA, I wouldn't be surprised if she never shows her face again."

"Oh, I see," sighed Diana, "I guess I'll give Billy the bad news." Edalyn suddenly sat up straight.

"What does my husband's son have to do with this?" asked Edalyn.

"Well, my mother told me about how hard you campaigned to get Ms. Adderson's invite," said Diana. "Our relationship aside, Billy is a bright kid in his own way, and if Ms. Adderson didn't see me as qualified for the golden ticket, the least I could do is point her in the direction of someone just as, if not worthier than I." Diana barely hides her grin as she watches Edalyn's eyes dart around as the situation races around her head.

"But, if you think she's already left, then I guess I'll just tell Billy and head home." After turning around to walk away, Diana silently counts down from five, and once reaching zero...

"I'm sorry, but that is not how a proper lady ends a conversation!" yelled Edalyn. Diana quickly scutters back to the older woman. "Lucky for you, I am in a more forgiving mood. That being said, hypothetically, I knew where Ms. Adderson would be. How would I know you'd actually put in a good word for Billiard?"

"Ms. Edalyn," said Diana as her eyes were engulfed in a dark green hue. "I promise, before the night ends, Billy will be richer beyond his wildest dreams." Diana reaches out her hand. "Do we have a deal?" Edalyn pretends to mull over the decision for a few seconds before giving in and reaching for Diana's hand.

However, just before they shake, Diana takes her hand back. "One small thing though, you have to say one nice thing about my family, all three of us." Edaly glares at Diana annoyed.

"Fine," said Edalyn. The two shook hands, and instantly, a rush of dark green energy raced through Edalyn's veins, causing her to shiver and quickly retract her hand. "Ugh! Two words, baby powder!" Edalyn pulls out a bottle of hand sanitizer and frantically rubs it on her hands.

"Thanks for the advice," said Diana, rubbing her hand on her skirt. "Now, where's Ms. Adderson?

"Dressing room five," said Edalyn, "and make sure to knock first."

"Thank you," said Diana as she entered the door. "It hasn't been a pleasure."

"Likewise," said Edalyn, "hope the door hits you on the way out." With the door now closed, Edalyn tried to get back on her high horse when she saw a more vibrant Diana walking toward her from the crowd.

"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Evilyn?" asked Diana...again.

"Seriously?" asked Edalyn, "Now you're just trying to annoy me."

"I'm sorry?" asked Diana.

"I highly doubt it," said Edalyn. "What do you want now?"

"I...uh...I don't..." said Diana, baffled by the conversation. "Have you seen Ms. Adderson?"

"Good lord!" said Edalyn. " Did your mother forget to get you tested, or were you always this insufferably moronic!"

"Excuse me?!" asked Diana.

"You're excused," said Edalyn, "Dressing room five, F-I-V-E, do you need me to write it down for you? No? Then go and fill your half of the bargain!" Getting what she needed and struggling to fully comprehend what was happening, Diana walked through the doors next to Edalyn, with the older woman slamming the door shut.

Diana stood on the other side of the door, confused and angry.

"Fuck you, Evilyn!" said Diana.

"Language! Shit!" yelled another Diana. Diana looked down the hall just in time to see herself racing around a corner in a panic.

"Oh no, you don't!" said Diana as she gave chase—light green energy pulsing through her veins.

Doppelganger Diana surrounded herself in a cloud of dark green smoke, transforming back into Mr. Pater as he ran down the halls. Diana slid around the corner and threw a lime-green ball of slime at her father.

Mr. Pater ducked the slime ball as it splatted across several lockers. As the two race through the school, Diana continues to try to slime her dad, but Mr. Pater proves to be a master of magic as he transforms into several animals to avoid his daughter's attacks.

"I know this probably isn't the best time," yelled Mr. Pater as he transformed into a dragonfly, "but your fastball has really developed. I mean the consistency alone!"

"What can I say?" said Diana as she leaps behind a wall. As Mr. Pater flies around a corner, Diana is a few feet in front of him, mid-pitch. "I had a great coach!" Diana launched the slimeball, nailing her father and pinning him to a wall. Mr. Pater returns to human, the slime expands to keep him stuck. Diana walks up to her father, breathing heavily.

"Nice try, dad," said Diana, "but you're...on my turf. There's not an...inch of this school...that I don't know about."

"Then I guess you know what's on the other side of this wall?" asked Mr. Pater. Diana surveys the area while looking at the school map in her head. Her eyes widen in shock as she realizes the answer. "Demon's 101, we never play it straight, and if I timed it right, you've burned through all the demon energy you got from your deal."

Diana looks at her arms as the green energy fades and her skin turns pale. She looks back up to see her father phase through the wall behind him. "See you on the other side, baby girl!" Diana grits her teeth as she forces whatever demon energy she has left to the surface as she leaps at her dad.

Mr. Pater falls onto the ground on the other side of the wall. He sits back up and sees Diana stuck in the wall from the waist up. Mr. Pater tries to keep a straight face but lets slip the occasional snicker. Meanwhile, Diana tries furiously to pull herself free from the wall to no avail.

"Diana, stop," said Mr. Pater as he walked toward his daughter. "You're not gonna get yourself out like..." Diana reaches out to try to grab her father but is barely an inch away from touching him. "Diana, stop. I'm not going anywhere. Now let me just..."

"Just what? Phase me back to the other side of the wall so you can ruin my future!?" yelled Diana.

"You're half right," said Mr. Pater. He tries to get close to Diana but flails her arms at his face to keep him at bay. "Seriously? Are you seventeen or seven?" Diana crosses her arms and puffs her cheeks with air while glaring at her dad. "You know what? Fine, I'll make you a deal..."

"How dumb do you think I am?' asked Diana.

"Not dumb enough not to hear me out," said Mr. Pater. "If you can tell me, right here, right now, why this dumb golden ticket is so important to you, I'll pull you out, and I'll follow your lead."

"But?" asked Diana.

"No lying, no half-truths, no omissions, one hundred percent honesty," said Mr. Pater as he extended his hand. "Deal?"

Mr. Pater dragged a chair from another room and sat in front of his mounted daughter.

"I'm all ears. Why is this so important to you?" asked Mr. Pater.

"Because it'll set me up for life," said Diana, "I may not know how, but it's not some myth or anything like that. Ms. Adderson has a proven track record with testimonials."

"So, you just want the fast pass to success, huh?" asked Mr. Pater. Diana nodded her head. "Then why didn't you try to leave me at home?"

"Because I needed the ride," said Diana.

"All your friends drive," said Mr. Pater, "and I know Gavin would have gladly given you a ride for free for the box of cold pizza we have back home. That definitely would have been easier than playing cat and mouse with me."

"Well, it's not like I had a choice," said Diana, "Mom made you come." Mr. Pater just stares his daughter down. "Yeah, knew that wouldn't fly the second it came out my mouth. Oh, wait! Because mom's been working for this her whole life. I couldn't let seventeen years of work get flushed down the toilet."

"Sure, that's true," said Mr. Pater, "but you're still lying."

"But-" said Diana.

"You still haven't explained why you let me come with you," said Mr. Pater. "Especially since I have a long and detailed history of dunking on the PTA." Diana became frustrated as she struggled to find any sort of an answer.

"Why do you even care!? What's the point of this!?" yelled Diana. "Was this all so you could teach me a stupid lesson or something!? Do you hate the PTA so much that you'd possibly ruin your daughter's life and your wife's hard work?!"

"Because they don't care about you," said Pater. "A PTA is supposed to be an organization where parents work with the local school for the betterment of the students and the community. There is a chocolate fountain the size of an actual fountain out front, most of the people in there are wearing clothes worth more than our house, and the entire organization becomes an episode of survivor when one raggedy old skeleton comes to town promising wealth and a stress-free life."

"I had to watch your mom work herself to death and back trying to get in with the right people In that hell hole! You think I know how to make a Faustian Bargain? Your mom has put me to shame on four separate occasions that I can prove. I'm pretty sure she legally owns a soul, a full soul!" Mr. Pater takes a few deep breaths to recompose himself..

"I...I didn't know," said Diana.

"Yeah, you did," said Mr. Pater as he tapped his heart. "I've seen how you've taken care of your mom after some of those meetings. Somewhere between that big brain and your bigger heart, you put two and two together. Now the real question is, why do YOU want this so bad?"

Diana slowly began to slide forward from the wall, not noticing due to being deep in thought. She thought back to all the nights she found her mom passed out on the couch, coming home defeated and miserable, and all the happy days ruined by a PTA phone call.

"Because it could save mom," said Diana as she was ejected from the wall into her dad's arms. Light green energy rushed through her body as color returned to her skin. "You knew, you knew the whole time, didn't you?"

"I'm a Lord of Avarice," said Pater, "I know what everyone wants, physical or otherwise, helps with Christmas shopping." Mr. Pater helps his daughter to her feet. "You good? Everything where it should be? No extra weight anywhere?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think I'm OK," said Diana. The two walk down the hall until they reach dressing room five. "So, what do I do now?"

"Hey, a deal's a deal," said Pater. "I follow your lead. Just know, whatever you choose, I'll back you up one hundred percent." Diana smiles as she sheepishly raises her fist to the door.

"You said you always know what people want," said Diana, "why does mom want this?"

"A means to an end," said Mr. Pater, " to giving you the best life she can." With one last deep breath, Diana knocks on the door.

Diana and her father walk back into the auditorium as the crowd watches Mrs. Edalyn on the stage. A tall, lanky young man wearing a cheap suit that is a size too small waves at the pair.

"How you doin' Billy?" asked Mr. Pater.

"Oh, you know, one wheel at a time," said Billy.

"...yep, I totally get it," said Mr. Pater.

"So, did ya get it? Did ya get the ticket," asked Billy.

"She offered, and it was...a lot of money," said Diana, "but I think I'll find my own way to the top."

"The look on her face when you said "no," laughed Mr. Pater, "I should taken a picture for your Mom., maybe it could've shortened my life sentence."

"Don't worry, Dad," said Diana, " I got your back. Don't know what good it'll do once she finds out about..." Mr. Pater fakes a loud cough before motioning toward Billy. "About my secret...pet...snake, yeah!"

"Ooh! Ooh! My Pop's and I can take it off your hands for ya, free of charge!" offered Billy.

"No sweat, Bill, I got it handled," said Mr. Pater, "but you can do me a favor." Mr. Pater pulls a folded slip of paper from his pocket and hands it to Billy. "Take this to your Mom, it's a note from Ms. Adderson, she'll want to read it to the crowd." Billy takes the note and salutes Mr. Pater.

"You can count on me, sir!" said Billy.

"You know what, you're right!" said Mr. Pater as he pulled twenty dollars from his back pocket. "Keep the change." Billy stares at the twenty like it is his firstborn child.

"Wow! A whole twenty dollars!" said Billy. "This is more money than I thought was possible!" Billy excitedly tackles his way through the crowd on a path to his mother.

"What was that about?" asked Diana.

"You'll see," said Mr. Pater. "Just smile and nod when she looks at you." After parting the crowd like the Red Sea, Billy climbs onto the stage. To his mother's annoyance and embarrassment

"Hey, Ma'ma...oop, I mean Ma-ther," said Billy. "I got a note for you from Ms. Adderson." Edalyn takes the note and finds Diana in the crowd, nodding at her with a smile next to her father, recording on his phone. As she opened the note, inside it read, "Pay up!" Edalyn's eyes turned a dark green hue as she took a firm grip of the microphone.

"I, Edalyn Mackenzie, would like to take this time to apologize to Lucy Pater and her wonderful daughter Diana," said Edalyn. "In all my sixty-two years as a part of the PTA, I have never seen a woman so dedicated to this organization than Lucy, especially seeing that I have done everything in my power to get her to quit since day one!" The crowd gasps as whispers fill the room.

"Giving Billy that money was part of a deal to embarrass her, wasn't it?" asked Diana.

"Easiest deal I've ever made," said Mr. Pater.

"I love you, Dad," said Diana as she hugged her father's arm.

"To Diana, for all the shit I've given you," Edalyn continued, "just know it came from a place of intense, borderline psychopathic hatred and jealousy stemming from the relationship, or lack thereof, with my parents. Mind you, they did nothing wrong to me, they were actually very kind and understanding I was just a monster of a child. They truly deserved a child like you, Diana. Hell, they could have made Billy into Einstein with the amount of love and support they wasted on me.

"So, was that piece of paper some kind of script?" asked Diana.

"Nope, this is all stuff she truly believes," said Mr. Pater, "whether she knows it or not. The spell's called "Absolute Truth." She'll only stop when her part of the deal is fulfilled, meaning she has to say something nice about all of us." Diana's eyes widened in horror.

"Including you?" asked Diana.

"Yep," said Mr. Pater, "let's see what you have to say about Mr. Pater."

"And to Morris Pater, oh, if you only knew how I truly felt about you," said Edalyn.

"Oh no," said Diana.

"Shhh, this is gonna be good!" said Mr. Pater.

"When I first read your books, I truly felt seen for the first time in my entire life," said Edalyn. "You hooked me on your every word like a fish desperate to get caught!"

"Wait a second..." said Mr. Pater.

"I followed you on all your socials," Edalyn continued, "and treated every one of your posts as if they were verses in my bible, which they are because I made one and sent you a copy."

"Oh my dark lord, I thought it was a joke from my editor," said Mr. Pater.

"I even found out who your editor was and used his address so you would think I was some sort of creep," said Edalyn. "I then followed the pakage just to find out you lived here, in my county! I was so ecstatic I went home and-"

[End of Video Playback]

Morris sits next to his wife, back at home. Lucy frantically scrolls through the rest of the videos on his phone before he takes it back,

"Yeah, everything after that is just...yeaaaaah," said Morris, "In short, I'm pressing all the charges and getting some protections wards just in case."

"I can't believe that hag was your stalker," said Lucy. "How was she allowed to run a PTA!?"

"And to think," said Morris, "we would have never found out if I..."

"Don't even try to spin that shit!" said Lucy, "We're going Sunday AND Wednesday church!"

"For how long?" asked Morris.

"Depends," said Lucy, "how many zeros were on that golden ticket?" Morris sat there in awkward silence. "Ugh, you're lucky you were right, or you'd be sleeping in an actual dog house too." Lucy wrapped herself around Morris, hugging him onto his back. "That being said, thank you for doing what you did. I'm lucky to have married such a caring demon."

"Hey, like I said, I'm well worth the investment," said Morris.

"Also, where is Diana? I didn't hear her come in," said Lucy.

"Oh yeah, after...THAT, " said Morris, "Billy needed all the emotional support, so she and a few other kids took him out for dinner. Then she's gonna mind wipe him after."

"That's sweet of her," said Lucy.

"Do we know how to raise 'em or what!" said Morris.

[alreadyjackbestfriend]

FRIENDSHIP TEST

Pairing: jack harlow x famous!reader.

Genre: fluff

A/N: *suddenly has a surge of energy at three AM and writes an imagine* also, i took inspiration from the friendship tests from glamour, but especially this one (it's iconic in my opinion)

Y/N Y/S/N AND JACK HARLOW TAKE A FRIENDSHIP TEST

The video starts with different clips of both talking about each other.

“Jack and I met when I was 21” you said to the camera, “on the red carpet for an award show”

“i thought she looked really beautiful, not gonna lie, she was stunning, well, she is stunning… that’s why I introduced myself in that moment” he said, laughing with his whole body.

“It's only been two years, but I feel like I've known him all my life”

“but she is much more than how she looks, in these two years I have learned to know her and…” he sighs “she makes my heart feel warm”

“he treats people with a lot of respect, he is very enthusiastic when it comes to meeting new places and people, and he is very optimistic, which I am not” you said the last part chuckling.

“I know that if I need her, she’s gonna be there”

“he’s super protective of me, and honestly I love that, I’ve never have a friend like him” you said smiling shyly.

EXERCISE ONE: Stare into each other’s eyes for 3 minutes.

“I don't think I've ever looked you in the eyes for so long” he confessed, laughing, while his cheeks turned slightly pink, you smiled.

“I think with every second that passes, your eyes get bluer” you responded, and jack smiled widely.

Seconds later, Jack winked at you and you started laughing, then you started to make funny faces, making him laugh, “okay, okay, stop it, we have to finish this” he said, looking at you serious again, but it didn’t last long, because you couldn't look at him without smiling and he couldn't see you smile and keep a straight face, so the last minute was just you guys looking at each other while smiling.

EXERCISE TWO: Give each other compliments.

The producer gave each of you two small notebooks and a pencil to write compliments for the other. For you it was very easy to find words to describe anything, but Jack was not far behind, being a rapper who wrote his own songs, he also had a way with words, especially if it was about you, so when you looked at him out of the corner of your eye, you could see how his hand moved almost frantically, causing the pencil to write quickly on the page.

after a while, it was time to tell each other what you had written.

“ok, so…” you said first, “you have an amazing sense of humor” Jack looked at the camera in an arrogant manner, shrugging his shoulders and opening the palms of his hands in a gesture that said "what else did you expect”, you rolled your eyes as you laughed, but kept talking, “and you make me laugh all the time” he smiled genuinely this time.

“well then, to stay on the same topic…” he said without looking at his notebook “i love your laugh, and the way your eyes crinkle when you smile” you smiled, blushing, “look, there it is” he said smiling with you, and you covered your face with your hands.

“stop ittt!!” you groaned and he laughed.

“ok, go on”

“You are very confident, but without being arrogant” you continued with your next compliment, “and you have remained humble despite all your success”

“thank you” he said, taking your hand to leave a kiss on your knuckles, and you laughed, “my turn” he said, looking at his notes, “you are super intelligent, very creative, you have inspired me many times without realizing it, and you are the sweetest woman I have ever met, but that doesn't stop you from standing up for yourself. you are very independent, but very affectionate, you love hugs and I love that about you, and you give the best advice”

“Jaacckkk” you said, pouting, with your eyes shining from the tears that wanted to come out, and got closer to give him a hug, “I love you so much” you said.

“I love you too” he said, hugging you back, and leaving a kiss on your shoulder.

EXERCISE THREE: Hug for one minute.

“oh, we were already doing that, pft” jack said hugging you again and making you laugh, “let's just continue”

“This is the easiest thing I've ever done in my life, I could stay like this forever really” you said, your face facing the camera while your cheek was on his chest.

“you’re too sweet” he responded, kissing your head.

After a while, the producer said “the minute is up, guys”

“ok” jack said, not letting you go and you started giggling.

“2 minutes” the producer spoke again.

“okay, okay” jack said this time, releasing you, pretending to be annoyed. You smiled at him.

FINAL THOUGHTS

“this was super fun” you said

“it was” jack complemented, “obviously I had never done something like this with a friend, I feel that this brought us even closer”

“yeah!” you said excited, giving him a side hug, “so thank you glamour for giving us that!”  you said smiling at the camera and waving goodbye, while Jack made the "L" with his fingers, as always.

After a few weeks, the video was finally uploaded to YouTube, going viral within hours and getting thousands of reactions from viewers, the comments section going crazy.

Username.

THEY WOULD BE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE

Username.

If they ever dated, I would do ANYTHING to protect their relationship, like ANYTHING

Username.

This two should have babies just for the sake of beauty

Username.

He’s SO IN LOVE with her, I wanna cry