#ok great . i think im done
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blueskittlesart · 9 months ago
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in the nicest and most non-confrontational way possible. i feel like some of you think that anything that isn't directly openly spelled out for you within a story is "missed potential" or "unexplored." like. sometimes there are implied narratives. sometimes the point is that you as the reader are supposed to think and draw your own conclusions and participate in the story. the writers not directly spelling every little detail out for you doesn't mean that the story is poorly written or missed its own plot details somehow. PLEASE.
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lemongogo · 4 months ago
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anyways . silly thing
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#animatic#i want it done.get out of here u stupid dog#ITS CHEESY.IM SORRY ! IMSORRY <embarrassed .truly#but i think. a gf revival would not be complete w/o me trying my hand at a shitty animatic. this 1 is for me dwg#as annoying as the whole process was it was kind of fun ngl. . like ive never been good at keeping a consistent style or chara model#and this was rly good practice for that .. i think looking at it now its like. no its crazxy its insane bc i dont ever want to do it again#at least in the immediate future but watching it back im like ok well.icouldve at least done that better. or tried to loosen up my vp and#made it feel less flat . <thats the devil talking & trying to get u back in on it.thats what i mean liike its fun but its evil and tiring#also im so creatively burnt out ik i couldve done so many fun ciphord gore things but i ug a 'shrug' pff 'shrug' i ?. yk#if only i didnt have the disposition to want to finish everything in one sitting. i think thats why i like static illustration#more bc u get more like. topical variety in a shorter amt of time u feel. anyways i remember hearing this song 4 the first time and in#my need to apply everything ever to my hyperfix i was like omg crop circles soo stanford lol. omg a deal he made when he was young.. & no#it doesnt feel so great does it .. (ciphordd)..then the eyes & fate i was alr convinced but when it got 2 the stanley part ab the taking hi#fathers brothers name i was like ok well fuck filbrick 1 . but rewritten for canon events anyways HELLO???????? AND U WILL DIE THE SAMEE?#much cooler version is still stuck in my head but i hope that u can get the same rudimentary vision i have
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starset-sarsaparilla · 4 months ago
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fun fact: when i first went to the fort to kill caesar i completely forgot about the bunker. it was a stressful return trip
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bjursta · 2 years ago
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no piece of media will make me feel the same way oneshot does
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deus-ex-mona · 11 months ago
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real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~
#typical prince aesthetics in romeo/julieta and nonfan… and now historical rofan in meoto…#(and there’s also whatever’s going on in tsuki no hime but that has no mv :( sadge)#sorry guys i still have meoto on the brain pls suffer with me~~~~~~~~~#but mannnnn. i was struck by sudden inspiration for a meoto au a n d#well. ig now i understand why they skipped over the falling in love phase. romance is hardddd#i want to subscribe to the meoto expansion pack p l s i need to know what their deal is~~~~#bc man. how in the world did they go from complete indifference to promising to stay together forever hello#what happened???????? excuse???????????#man. m a n. ok i think im done for the night. i hope#LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24#(but if anyone here wants to get into the otome isekai genre in general… i recommend starting off with ✨s u r v i v i n g r o m a n c e✨#(it’s a great story and it’s still modernised enough to ease into the genre. and after that…)#(you can just go for the series with the most interesting premise/prettiest art/both tbh)#(though i personally recommend ✨the perks of being an s class heroine✨ ✨the villainess’s stationery shop✨ for milder content)#(and there’s also some series with both isekai and regression.)#(like they isekai after their 1st life in 20xx-> live out their 2nd life in the fantasy world -> regress to a point in their 2nd life)#(for that type i kinda like ✨i shall master this family✨ though ngl i’m mostly reading it bc i think the aunt is very pretty)#(a nd there’s the occasional modern regression story but that’s pretty soap drama-esque and the one i read got ridiculous at times lmao)#(but ofc the ones with less romance focus are fun too~~~~ like stories with multiple isekai-ed people for one)#(b u t i digress i think i’ll stop here before i lose the plot any longer ahaha~~~~)
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gallantcalamity · 5 months ago
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Ok, I very much usually don't do original thoughts, but for this I make an exception.
My favorite band dropped this stellar album and I need as many people to bear witness to this cause they deserve some love. Please, succumb to my propaganda, i really want more people to listen to this shit. You into vinyl? They got one of this album in i think limited stock(?) Idk i dont do vinyl, am CD. But hey, guess what? They got made to order CD's of a fair majority of their shit, including this gem of an album! Forfeit monetary funds to this nice lil indie band (only if you have it to spare and want to obvy [i will enter your home if you do not {myes, Curly Brackets, haha myes} da fuq is with the prior guy?] Idunno, square man...) where was i? Ah yes, *ahem*
LISTEN
TO THE
MAPMAKER ALBUM
Please and thank you! 😁👍🧡
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afantasyoffiction · 4 days ago
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ADJADKHJDKDHJKFASAKSHJKHFBJHDNKJ I FUCKING HATE PLOT OUTLINES
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rileys-battlecats · 9 months ago
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i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.
i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.
anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)
#rye.txt#growing up i got very accustomed to ignoring my own needs and just 'powering through' when i wanted/needed to get something done#which worked out relatively ok for me in school (banging my head against a wall until my brain absorbed information leading to exhaustion)#but now that im doing work that is ostensibly for my own enjoyment#i have a hard time divorcing myself from that mindset#i feel guilty if im not constantly working#which is. not great! so im trying to unlearn that#trying to let myself think 'ok my brain isn't brain-ing right now. so i should stop and rest/do something else'#my actual job is Very Emotionally Draining so sometimes i just. can't find the energy to work on my art#which sucks!! cause i love making art!! and then i think to myself 'maybe making art will make you feel better'#but then when i try it's like scraping the bottom of a dry well. trying to find water#when what i need to do is rest and let the water well up from the ground itself#but resting is HARD when you tie your self-worth to how much you can work#ough ok this got a little vent-y sorry guys#I don't want to let myself fall into the 'content creation' mindset. cause I don't think i make 'content' i make ART#and art isn't something you can just pump out mindlessly#good art. art that i can be PROUD of. that takes time and intent and energy. and I can't make that if im just scraping the bottom of a well#vent in tags#this whole post is just 'riley vs the concept that taking breaks is a moral failing'
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months ago
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#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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just want 2 say abt the marvel rivals post u made... big mood bc that's me every game getting banished to Magneto, Strange, or Adam bc these ppl wont stop picking Punisher (?) and feeding like crazy… like maybe i want to play (idk any of the dps chars bc I never play them but imagine one here)... but noooo give the 2k dmg guy MVP and not me with 35k damage blocked/healing done..... smh -poro anon
do you really want to play dps when you dont know any of the dps tho ……… much to consider …….
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orcelito · 5 months ago
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Several months late, the landlord finally picked up the dehumidifier from my kitchen
Would've been nice had I been told they were coming though 💀 so I could've cleaned up the grocery bags on the floor that I hadn't put away yet 💀💀💀💀💀
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You know, I think what really bugs me about the "Dadworth" dynamic applied to Kay and Edgeworth's relationship is that it usually makes Kay out to be this hyperactive, slight problem child (in the 'stealing and pranking' sense rather than the 'moody and abrasive' sense), occasionally with deep-rooted daddy issues like Edgeworth has, when that's... the opposite of her character.
(This post got away from me, so TL;DR: Kay is a quick-witted and independent young woman who has worked very hard to be both emotionally and practically intelligent enough to be seen as a legitimate successor to her father's legacy. Making her out to be the traits mentioned above, so she functions as Edgeworth's daughter rather than his investigative partner and equal, undermines her character and semi-conflates her with Maya [the deep-rooted issues bit]. Also I don't like it wksgskaj)
The thing about Kay is that she's not actually in the series as much as it feels like she is, which makes it easy for her character to be altered to suit the needs of the story (which I think happens in The Forgotten Turnabout, but I won't talk about that here). She turns up in two cases as herself in AAI (as in, teenager Kay whom we're most familiar with) and shares her role with Gumshoe, Ema and Franziska when she does, lessening her appearances even further. Nevertheless, there are still concrete elements to her personality that we're made aware of right from the beginning, and the first major one which I feel gets overlooked in favour of her hyperactive characterisation is this:
Kay is very, very sharp.
In terms of mainline assistants, I'd consider her the sharpest of all (maybe after Trucy? But I don't remember enough of AJ to comment on that). Yes, she's shown to be reckless and impulsive, but, when it comes to actual investigating and reasoning, she is solid. With Nick and Maya, you sometimes get the impression that they're both fumbling along until Phoenix catches on (most of the time with Maya's usually a little accidental help, and he still has to explain things to her near every time [not Maya's fault. Following Phoenix's reasoning is like being on a rollercoaster in a minecart]), but Kay is very rarely like that with Edgeworth. Within minutes of meeting him, she can predict what he's going to say (or 'steal his lines', as the game puts it), and there are several moments after he uses Logic and is about to explain what he's connected where Kay interrupts with the correct conclusion herself:
Edgeworth: A second Blue Badger that shouldn't exist... Clearly, the true identity of the person underneath is...
Kay: Oh, I know! It's one of the kidnappers, right!?
There's even a point where she tells him off for overexplaining things to her:
Kay: Yeesh, I told you I got it! Do you feel the need to explain everything!?
And, near the end of their first case together, he acknowledges that's she's generally quite quick:
Kay: OK, what should I re-create first?
Edgeworth: ...You haven't figured it out yet?
Kay: Heh, maybe I have, and maybe I haven't.
Even if you don't take these points into consideration, the fact that she comes up with a new way to use Little Thief, and knows how to use it at all actually, shows you that she's a really intelligent girl! Continuing on a bit from the point I made earlier about her being brash, Kay may be reckless, but she isn't irresponsible. Whenever she rushes into situations, she doesn't expect other people to come save her; she's quite assured that she can and will get herself out of them on her own, and, if she needs help, she asks for it in advance. She treats Edgeworth less like her guardian and more like her investigative partner:
Kay: I didn't get permission to enter Allebahst... so we're going to go gather whatever info we can over on the Babahlese side, OK!?
Edgeworth: Alright, I'm counting on you two.
Kay: Right, and I'm counting on you and Ms. von Karma to sniff out clues in Allebahst!
...
Edgeworth: A number of pieces connect in a very complicated way in this case... It's almost enough to make one completely mentally exhausted.
Kay: Let's not over-complicate matters, OK, Mr. Edgeworth? We've been so focused, like a laser, on only what seems strange and out of place... it's no wonder nothing's clicked and we haven't unlocked anything yet. But, if we think things through calmly, the answer should come to us!
There's an independence to her proactiveness that kind of forces Edgeworth to meet her on equal grounds, and this too is an element that gets lost when the Dadworth dynamic comes in because it involves making Edgeworth responsible -- or feel responsible -- for her actions and general wellbeing when Kay has never expected nor wanted that. She does things on her own terms, and she walks the path she's chosen by herself:
Edgeworth: Preposterous! On what grounds do you suspect her of such a thing!?
Shih-na: The fact that she calls the Yatagarasu. That in itself is a more elegant proof.
Kay: Ms. Shih-na.
Shih-na: Yes?
Kay: I... have no intention of taking back any of what I've said.
Shih-na: ...?
Kay: I am the Great Thief Yatagarasu. And I refuse to allow some imposter to claim that name as their own! The path of justice that my father pointed me towards... I will walk it the best I can!
Her relationship with Edgeworth works as an inverse to that of Nick and Maya's in the way that, where Nick and Maya have deep respect for one another beneath layers upon layers of playful insults and messing about, Kay outwardly respects Edgeworth first (and expects that respect to be returned) and razes him second -- that, too, never to an extent she wouldn't with anyone else or that crosses a certain boundary. Her messing with Edgeworth is shown to be more an attempt to get him to lighten up or not take himself too seriously than an act of (platonic) intimacy as it is with Nick and Maya (which makes sense because Nick and Maya have spent years together, while she's known Edgeworth for all of two weeks) or genuine obliviousness/silliness (although it definitely sometimes is). This is pretty obvious simply from the fact that she always calls him 'Mr Edgeworth', though she's perfectly comfortable calling Gumshoe and Badd, people whom she is more familiar and comfortable with, 'Gummy' and 'Uncle Badd' respectively. Also Kay, in general, is quite polite? Edgeworth calls something she said rude at one point and she gets insulted, and, when you ask for her opinion, she doesn't go 'What?' or 'What is it?', she specifically says, 'Yes?' (this changes in AAI2, which I promise I'm not discussing here) Upon meeting Oldbag, she has this exchange with her, where Kay chooses a more formal mode of address than what is actually offered:
Oldbag: My name is Wendy Oldbag. But you can call me "Wendy", or "Granny", or whatever suits your fancy.
Kay: Nice to meet you, Ms. Oldbag! I'm Kay Faraday.
She's also had moments where she calls Edgeworth out for being 'tactless', and she's shown to feel very strongly about rudeness throughout the whole game. I'm not saying she isn't mischievous or playful, she very much is, but the point is that she's really quite respectful, and this extends to her relationship with him. Her characterisation in Turnabout Ablaze, where she's considerably more excitable/high-strung than in Kidnapped, seems largely due to them chasing down Calisto Yew. Edgeworth even comments on this:
Edgeworth: Kay, you need to look before you leap. You tend to lose your cool when it comes to anything related to that woman.
Generally, though, you can tell that she was obviously raised with an adherence to certain formalities. She's not looking for another parental figure (because she doesn't need one, which I'll go into after this), but, if she was, she'd make that clear.
Kay's a very straightforward person at heart; she doesn't hide any part of herself, even the part that should be hidden (i.e. the Yatagarasu). There are points where she suggests that Edgeworth reminds her of her father, but, in AAI, she specifically mentions that it's both Edgeworth and Gumshoe who remind her of her father and Detective Badd. It's not about her seeing Edgeworth as a father figure; it's about their and her own dedication to the truth. Even in AAI2, where her comments could be read as leaning more towards the former angle, she doesn't get cut up about him not picking up on that or really paying it much emphasis at all, because it doesn't matter. The fact that he reminds her of Byrne is just that: a fact.
Returning to the point about Kay not needing/wanting another parental figure, I think it's pretty self-explanatory, but to put it succinctly: Kay has the guidance she needs without him.
To put it less succinctly, Edgeworth's possibly the worst candidate to go for for emotional support and guidance in the first place, and by the time she meets him again, she's basically processed her father's passing and has a better handle on herself emotionally than Edgeworth does (not a brag; most characters have higher EQ than Edgeworth); what she wants isn't necessarily closure for Byrne's death in the emotional sense but in the I-want-answers-to-this-mystery-that-will-restore-my-family's-honour sense. You could make the argument that Kay becoming the second Yatagarasu and shaping her entire future around continuing her father's work prove that she isn't over his death, but I don't think that's true and more of a result of conflating her with Maya a bit.
With Maya, becoming the Master isn't something she chooses; it's given to her by Misty and Mia. With Kay, it's the opposite. Kay's decision to become the Yatagarasu and pursue the truth is wholly her own, and her approach to that goal reflects that. While Maya uses her cheery, upbeat attitude to conceal a lot of self-doubt and vulnerability (and Franziska does the same with her hostility), Kay does not. Her cheerfulness is precisely who she is; it's not a mask so much as it is a distraction. It keeps people from looking at her too closely and realising exactly how capable she is, and, while I don't think it's fully intentional (again, she believes in living her life in a straightforward and upfront manner), she does imply that it's sort of her (or the Yatagarasu's) MO:
Kay: Well! By the time everyone notices, it's already gone! That's the Yatagarasu way!
Interestingly enough, this unintentional tactic of using humour and cheeriness as a distraction from her abilities makes her a mirror to Calisto Yew, who also uses her seemingly always light-hearted nature as a disguise for what she's actually capable of (Calisto's joviality is her true self, too, or at least as 'true' as she can get). The difference between them is that Calisto delights in ironically mocking the world around her, whereas Kay finds joy in life itself, and she's stronger for it.
The only part where we see Kay attempt to mask her feelings is when she's a child, and even then she admits that she feels better after crying, which, I believe, led to her becoming more open with her emotions later in life (see how her older self has a teary sprite which makes pretty frequent appearances where her younger self does not). In any case, to me, this shows that she has people in her life already who are helping, and have helped, her confront and process her trauma. She's not looking to Edgeworth to help her make sense of her father's death and she definitely isn't looking for a replacement (again, literally dedicated to continuing her father's [and Badd's] legacy). Whenever Edgeworth even gets close to becoming parental with her, she dismisses it, unless she acknowledges that she is in the wrong:
Edgeworth: ...Kay, it's not good for you to stay up late, you know.
Kay: Yes, gramps!
...
Edgeworth: ...I appreciate your sense of justice, however... I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go running into the heart of any more raging fires.
Kay: Nngh... Yes, Mr. Edgeworth... I'll try...
Despite her buoyancy and bright attitude, Kay is quite firm that she be treated as an adult (she doesn't see her cheeriness as a mark of youth; it's joie de vivre, it's who she is, and that's that), and, throughout the game, she gets annoyed when people don't respect that (her arguments with Lang are largely over how he calls Little Thief a toy and her crow-girl). She holds her own and relies on herself while being unafraid of asking for help.
Anyway, this post has gone on for long enough and I think I've addressed the points I wanted to. I should mention that I realise that a lot of how many people portray/interpret their relationship is validated by AAI2 but that's honestly a discussion for a separate post HAHA I feel like, when it comes to AAI, the father/daughter interpretation can maybe be argued with regards to the way Edgeworth treats her? Honestly, though, I think he'd treat any young lady who suddenly becomes part of his team/responsibility in pretty much the same way. And, like, he drops the ball almost every time he's supposed to give "fatherly" advice because he's just not that great with it/children!! It's actually hilarious HSKSDHSK
Either way, yeah! I just think Kay is actually given a lot less credit than she's due when the Dadworth card gets played and I just! Want better for her!!
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taiigaatea · 6 months ago
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hi ok shorter post today because TECHNICALLY i dont have to post for at least another month but whatever
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ive been getting back into vocaloid/pjsk recently and it is ENTIRELY because of the edluca world is mine animatic (its SO GOOD genuinely one of my favorite videos ever) but i was like. "Huh what if. the romeo and cinderella cover was edgar valden" AND THEN I COULDNT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD UNTIL I DREW IT LAST NIGHT!!! it was so fun though especially since i dont usually put this much detail in my art!!!! yayyayay i might make more album covers as edgar/other characters and ships but idk
fine ill add a bonus sketch but im not getting it in a nice pretty png its just gonna be the screenshot
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ive been working on this for like almost a month now but i doubt ill ever finish it,,, it started as a sketch then when i started lining it i decided to add more (this is only one part of what i had planned) and then got bored #lol (i have like 10 hours on this one) i thought id post what i have rn because i am proud of the luca (this wasthe first time i drew him since that one post back in june)
WHY IS SIMS 4 MODDING SO ANNOYING. WHY IS GIMP THE WORST PROGRAM TO EXIST. i wanted to do something simple and oops! ive spent like 3 hours doing something and im not even CLOSE to being halfway done and i dont even understand any of the gimp controls???????? fuck dds files fuck it all im done
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skrunksthatwunk · 7 months ago
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i think i mentioned this a while back but im working on an "every kuwameshi" video right (yes it's ridiculous i know somebody take them away from me) and i just need to say im so fucking sick of editing the saint beasts arc </3 pls i love that one normally but this section of the video is like. 70% silent group shots it's so bad and not fun to watch or edit and i hate it :[
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saaltskies · 4 days ago
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i was gonna share my xenoblade thoughts the next day because i was full of them but very tired however it is the next day and i forgot how to thought
#dang 😔#i can try though ig#uhh spoilers below#ok first music very good#i have not done so yet but i like to sit down and listen to the whole soundtrack after finishing a game for the first time and i am looking#forward to that very much#anyways i love stories about death#heck yeah death and fear of change and regret and insecurity and hope and also flutes#the ending with the final boss in stuff was kinda giving me pmd vibes specifically gates and super#i love pmd so this is a very good thing#also i love when villains have some connection to theatre#the n and m thing was wack#like omg a guy named n oh huh he kinda looks like noah take off ur mask dude lemme see omg it is noah!! wow evil version of main character#wait is that mio#oh snap he isnt a version of me im a version of him born from his regret and the hope that he completely lost#very cool!#after the execution stuff and i added valdi back into my party because didnt have a hero in that because ghondor joined as my hero for a bit#and then left and i put him back in and i was like hey bestie how was ur day yeah mine was pretty good i just got locked up for a month and#just sitting there full of dread and anger and sadness as the clock was ticking towards death for the girl i love and i couldnt even be near#her during this and there was no hope of escape and then we were forced to watch her fade away before getting executed and i stood over my#body and looked down on it and i was taken to a place where i saw all my past lives and how me and the girl i love fell in love each time#but i always lost her until finally i did some horrific stuff and forced her into immortality with me never asking if she wanted this#because i stopped thinking of her as a person and more like a precious possession i need to keep in my grasp and our regret was so powerful#that we were born again through hope despite our other selves still living and then i decided to try again and the other mio stopped the#other me from killing me and plot twist they body swapped and the other mio died and the mio i know lived on with the other mios body and#then the other me got a lil too silly so we beat him up#so yeah my day was pretty good how was yours#like okay!!!!!!!!#great!!!!!!#ok i reached max tags bye
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autism-corner · 1 month ago
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#ok nothing post about nothing important :3#there are. a singular hand of relationships ive had personally (aka non-schoolgroup basically)#since ive been 12 or so. maybe only 3 of which ive had one-on-one meetups with outside of school.#and its. fine with me. i think.#but#out of these there is one that was a very very important person to me.#and i was. very rude at breaking it off. i think.#getting a 'i cant do this anymore' message musnt have been. great.#i tried to explain the next day but. that was the last message ive sent them.#and i do feel bad about it. they sent me a happy bday message two months later that i also. ignored.#but. im not used to relationships. it was and still has been very hard.#everything was just starting to happen with me which. wasnt good.#and. i couldnt do it anymore i think. anxiety every single day about getting messages was. difficult.#despite it beivg the very closest a person has ever been and might ever be to me i couldnt. handle it.#and i still dont know why. it hurts thaat the only optioni saw was running away but i still dont know what i couldve done differently.#anyway.#sillyposting#i feel bad for breaking it up the way i did but i dont know how i couldve done better.#i dont think i couldve held out but i do wish i had the words to explain.#ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY. i still feel guilty. and ive never really felt that before.#we both live in the same ~100.000 people city so everytime i go near their house im afraid to see them.#its never happend but. today they showed up at work. and i dont know what to do.#ive never had an ex like this and. again i still feel very very guilty.#i dont know if i should say hi. i dont know if i shoulld offer an apology.#i mean. i think i do. i think i dont deserve to give them an apology. i think they deserve to not worry about me.#but it. i dont want to really leave it hanging like this either.#hm.#whatever.#theyll probably not come up to me bc of how our bar works but also. theyre a jury of the current showing and will probs have a talky afterrr#sooo =3=
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