#ok gay pilgrim

[doctordoombignaturals]

santana as that stupid gay pilgrim image requested by friends

THIS SUCKS

[tanglecolors]

scott is such a terrible friend but mostly out of ignorance and not malice lol

[wallacehomowells]

is asking "what do you think" his flirting method

[vampyrtism]

When fhe function got Evil yaoi (just nega neilphen)

[dalandan012]

logging in on the internet to defend canonically gay men from being feminized like crazy

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Davey: Is Jack here???

Race: Uh, you know what-?

Jack: *jumps out the window*

Race: -he just left

[emily-mooon]

Oh god I’m so gay for them:

[swagstar]

scott pilgrim's creator read my mind like 20 years ago when writing the comic i need s lawyer

[conkreetmonkey]

Loving the group of Scott Pilgrim fans that read/watched the story that is universally "this guy sucks ass, he's just a real slimy sack of lying shit, and he really needs to better himself before he's ready for a relationship" and thought "ok but what if he was dating his gay roommate instead, that would probably fix him"

[perfectwitchcrown]

Dante and Betrayal in Make the Exorcist Fall in Love

Ok so now that chapter 79 has come out I really want to discuss something I think is kind of interesting as a through line between Dante's Inferno and Dante in Make The Exorcist Fall in Love. This is mostly just word vomit haha. Also, asterisks indicate footnotes that I've left towards the bottom of the post!

Cw: discussion of sexual violence, victim blaming, and homophobia. Also, image of cartoon gore (when priest pulled out his eye in the first chapter) after the read more

In the Divine Comedy, the closer Dante the pilgrim moves to the center of hell, the more intense Dante the poet is casting the sins being punished there are. So, Dante starts in Limbo, which he presents as containing the least serious of sins, then continues on through a variety of different sins. The ninth and final circle of hell, containing what Dante the poet felt was the most serious of sins, is treachery. In the notes to their translation of the Inferno, Robert Hollander and Jean Hollander write that "The three most gravely punished sinners of the poem are Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus (founder of the Church), as well as Brutus and Cassius, who betrayed Julius Caesar (the first ruler of the empire" (639).

Dante Alighieri presents betrayal then as the worst sin possible, which I think has been carried through into Ekuoto Dante's perception of whatever happened with Vergilius in the past.

Specifically, I’m thinking of their conversation in chapter 20. Verge identifies Dante’s powers as relating to Lot’s wife turning to a pillar of salt when fleeing Sodom.

I think Dante’s response is pretty interesting for several reasons. For one, based on the paneling and what we see, he’s identifying Sodom with the church, not with Verge. Verge, as someone who fled then is Lot, and Dante positions himself as Lot’s wife, which is both fascinating in the way he’s presenting their relationship and that it implies that he views his decision to stay with the church as a decision of weakness, just as Lot’s wife turning to look back at Sodom is considered spiritual weakness.

It was his betrayal of Verge then that he considers his sin.

Frankly though I wonder if there’s an element of miscommunication between the two of them as well in regard to this.

This is the part where I get super speculative, because we still don’t know what happened in the panel depicted (although I wonder if we’ll be finding out soon). But, just based on the few things we’ve seen, there’s a couple things I’d like to propose.

I don’t think Dante and Vergilius in have ever explicitly told each other that they love each other. I could be totally wrong about this, but based on Dante’s reactions in this chapter, both to the homophobia he experienced and not wanting to talk about it with Verge, and his shyness around romantically charged physical contact with him (it’s Verge who holds his hand, Dante doesn’t hold it back), and just based on the fact that they were kids, I think whatever splintering in their relationship occurred it was before either of them had actually been able to verbally express what they meant to each other. They reaaaaally read to me as having still been in that first gay crush where you’re sort of together but also not really acknowledging it stage of their relationship.*

I wonder if Verge may have been victim blamed in some regard for what happened with that priest we see. I could see Arima Aruma making commentary on the way victims of sexual exploitation can be blamed if they’re “imperfect” victims. Personally, I don’t trust Abbott Nicholas like even a little bit in how he handles situations, and just based on the expression Dante has as a kid looking back at him, I wonder if he may have said something pretty fucked. Or, at the very least, not helpful at all towards Verge, and tinged in some way, by homophobia. Like, ultimately, at his age Verge was not capable of consenting whatsoever to what was happening. I wonder if because Verge was accepting money in return, Abbott Nicholas may have blamed him partially for what happened**

All of these proposals in consideration, then, I think potentially color Verge’s comment when he says “how cruel” in chapter 20. I wonder if Dante’s betrayal may have also been a deeper betrayal of their relationship -> not just that he didn’t go with him, but that he may have not acknowledged the relationship they had. In other words, if Abbott Nicholas may have victim blamed Verge in a way that also centered his queerness and Dante froze.

Returning to the conversation in chapter 20 then, if, from Verge’s perspective, Dante’s powers reference sexual intercourse between men, and Dante may have never fully communicated how he felt for Verge, that how cruel may have been because he was taking it as further shaming him for his own assault -> if the sin is having had sex with a man, and if Verge may have been blamed for his rape, then Dante’s powers may come across as further victim blaming towards Verge, that because Verge was sexually abused by a man as a form of survival sex work (not that he could have ever consented to that at his age), Verge has “committed sin,” whereas Dante has not (presuming that Dante has never had sex with a man, which like, idk but idk if Verge knows either).

Dante’s response, “that’s not my sin” then, wouldn’t actually refute that to Verge. It would just tie into that. “No, I’ve never had sex with a man, that’s not my sin” -> which also would function as a further rejection of the feelings they held for each other.

On the other hand, I don’t think that’s how Dante meant it. I think Dante’s perspective on it not having been his sin, especially with how he follows it up, and with what he said towards the beginning of the series about love, is that he doesn’t view his feelings towards Verge as sin at all. Rather, it was his failure to take his side that he views as his sin. His response he may have meant both as a “what I felt for you wasn’t sin” and a “what happened to you wasn’t your fault.” The panel frames the church as Sodom, so the sin of what occurred to Verge is not homosexuality, but rape, and Dante clearly places the blame with the priest.

And to tie into this, I think it’s significant that it’s not Dante’s personal money he uses to pay women at brothels to offer them the financial means to leave sex work should they choose, it’s church funds.***

TL;DR

To sum all this up, I think Dante and Verge may both have skewed understandings of what went wrong in their relationship and how they felt towards each other, but I think the idea that Dante betrayed Verge is central to it. I’m not sure that Vergilius thinks that Dante betrayed him though. I think this is Dante’s perspective of whatever happened that we still don’t know about. I am interested in seeing if we get any further information about their past in the next chapter or if we won’t be seeing anymore for a while.

Footnotes

*I think further in support of this is Verge’s reaction at the bowling alley when Priest falsely confirms that Dante is having sex with women in brothels. He teases Dante in their fight in chapters 20-21 for being worked up over him, but honestly, I don’t think he has confidence that his feelings for him in childhood were reciprocated in the same way.

**In support of this I think we should consider Dante’s reaction following Priest’s assault in the first chapter. Priest blames himself for his assault—“I looked upon a woman with lust. I am deserving of this punishment”—and Dante immediately thinks of Abbott Nicholas, and then immediately tries to impress upon Priest that consensual sexual desire isn’t wrong.

***Dante seems to consider his position within the church as one that enables him to decrease exploitation the most. Daniel, in one of the files, refers to the policy (that he instituted) post Mother Rosa death of banning the weak from serving as exorcists, as having resulted in the exploitation of children, who now make up the bulk of the exorcists. If Dante leaves the church at this point, he would be doing so as one of the remaining adult exorcists, leaving the work to the rest of the children

Random Extra Thoughts:

I’ve seen speculation that shit may have gone down between the two of them in-between the four year timeskip after the first chapter since Dante has become noticeably more pessimistic. Personally, based on Verge knowing about Dante going to brothels, and based on Dante knowing to look for Verge by speaking to sex workers at brothels, I wonder if they may have seen each other at a brothel. Vergilius would’ve been a witch by this point. I’ve had to go through parts of the manga again, but he’s been a witch for at least ten years at this point. Which is an interesting timeline, since Dante and Mother Rosa were both present 11 years ago at the fight against Beelzebub. Much to consider

Also, Dante and Verge keep referencing each other’s respective ages (that Dante has been aging and Verge is still young) and tying it not just to appearance but also behavior. With the potential miscommunication in regards to their feelings with each other, I sort of also wonder if Verge associates their relationship with their youth as well, and may assume that the romantic element to their love for each other is something Dante considers himself to have grown out of.

Tying into the above, I think it’s significant that we the audience haven’t yet seen an ordinary adult who is openly gay. Verge and the other witches who are queer (Erskine and Cyril based on their presence sharing a broom naked in the background of the witch’s sabbath, other various witches who’ve been similarly paired off) have all frozen themselves in time. Dante is gay, but based on his behavior at the brothels, not out. Also, and this could just be early series wonkiness, but when Abbott Nicholas tells Dante in the first chapter not to introduce Priest to a variety of vices, womanizing comes up as one of them. So, like, whatever happened in the past, I don’t think Dante has ever acknowledged himself as gay to Abbott Nicholas or the larger community.

[cloudyskiiees]

ok hear me out. total drama high school au. alenoah. scott pilgrim but instead of evil exes noah is friends with them all and they find it hilarious so they make a pact to have to approve whoever he dates next, and noah finds it fucking hilarious so he goes with it.

1: owen (and izzy and eva by association)

e-scope are poly! izzy is dating eva and owen, and owen was dating izzy and noah. noah loves his idiots, but decided he needs a partner with at least a shred of sanity. they're all still best friends and very close! dated for fiveish months sophomore year!

2: cody (of course)

middle school bfs. dated for like two weeks until noah couldn't deal with cody anymore. have been friends for so long he can't get rid of him, despite it all noah appreciates the geek (even if he wants to strangle him most of the time)

3: tyler

tyler came out as bi in freshman year (noah was his gay awakening) and asked him out on impulse. noah found it amusing and accepted, knowing the jock would quickly figure out he wouldn't wanna date such a pessimist. broke up after like a month, tyler is a good friend and very happy with his gf lindsay!

4: justin

got dared to ask out noah and date him for three days freshman year, accepted the challenge. noah isn't stupid, so he accepted then broke up with him after two days, making him lose the bet. justin was so distraught about it he confronted noah, who quickly learned he may be a prick but really he's just a crybaby attention seeker. if you asked noah now why he's friends with him, he couldn't give you an answer. but they're on friendly-rivalish terms!

5: emma

first and only gf. was scared to come out as a lesbian to everyone, so noah offered to date her to ward of suspicion from her family (people assume he's bi, he's still not sure) till she was ready. dated for a solid year between sophomore and junior year before she came out and got with her current gf (courtney), her and noah are lesbian gay solidarity, he's good friends with her and her sister, kitty.

6: duncan:

most recent breakup. end of junior year they both wound up in detention together a lot (noah couldn't stop correcting teachers + being a snark in class) ((duncan is a delinquent)) and a very unlikely friendship formed. duncan wanted to piss his ex (courtney) off so he would constantly flirt with noah in front of everyone. unbothered, noah and him went on a few dates just to post about it. emma found it very funny, courtney did not. both boys enjoy being assholes and judging people together.

alejandro has to go through and befriend all of them to basically get a stamp of approval to date their fav snark <3333

total drama has effectively taken over every inch of my brain i hope y'all enjoy my silly thoughts

[winwintea]

ᴍᴀʀᴋ ʟᴇᴇ ᴠꜱ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ: y/n’s gang and the exes

Y/N ↬ a girl with a LOT of emotional baggage, just recently broke up with chenle after realizing he was toxic, moved to canada as a way to cope (?? why though) unfortunately for her chenle has formed a league of evil exes as a form of revenge on her and her life will not be filled with any peace any time soon.

WINTER ↬ minjeong, aka mark’s ex, who dumped him suddenly one day. now goes by the stage name ‘winter’ and has completely reinvented her image. currently dating jaemin, and also in their own band together

JISUNG ↬ y/n’s first ex, and a professional dancer/choreographer, has no clue why he’s here but he’ll try his best, 22 year old boomer

HAECHAN ↬ y/n’s second ex, very much a whore, currently in a boyband (except think 90s boy bands bc im obsessed with nsync* and backstreet boys rn)

JENO ↬ y/n’s 3rd ex, rapper and dj, bit of a pushover (poor baby), don’t bully him he’ll cry (literally)

SOYEON ↬ Y/N SO FUMBLED HERE. y/n’s 4th ex, very passive aggressive lesbian, full time assassin part time pop-punk soloist🤷‍♀️ so there’s that

JAEMIN ↬ y/n’s 5th ex, basically mark 2.0, a bassist for winter’s band, and photographer! probably way too obsessed with himself but it’s ok it’s na jaemin

RENJUN ↬ y/n’s 6th ex, solo singer, his voice is literally so angelic, biggest idgaf person ever, also really good friends with chenle

CHENLE ↬ y/n’s 7th and final ex, not in the music industry, but the ceo of a very wealthy company, did not take the breakup well and posted a drunken rant on reddit only to find that all of y/n’s previous exes responded. and so the league of evil exes was formed as a way to get back at y/n

HENDERY ↬ y/n's best friend hendery, trust fund kid so he followed her all the way to toronto bc he has nothing else to do with his life, probably a walking hazard idfk someone come get their man

ZHANGHAO ↬ y/n's new friend, whom she met after moving to toronto, here to absolutely mother. very baffled at y/n's love life, thinks she's the most interesting person he's ever met.

Y/N and MARK'S private accounts

prev ↤ masterlist ↦ next

SUMMARY ↬ mark has never wanted anything in his life. the lead bassist for 'dream on', unemployed, and quite literally a loser, mark expects he's hit rock bottom from here. that is until you, the girl of his dreams quite literally skates out of his dreams and into his life. mark has never wanted anything more. but is love really worth the emotional baggage when you have seven evil exes, who each possess superpowers and are intent on defeating him?

GENRES ↬ social media au (smau), fluff, angst, drama, fantasy au, band au, scott pilgrim au, explicit(?), gay people (ten) help mark find true love

TAG LIST ↬ @lyvhie @h-aechanie @aquaphoenixz @galacticnct @spiderm444rk @nerdsungie @nanaxwi @lotties-readings @nessaassen02 @alethea-moon @222brainrot @kittydollzz @n0hyuck @dudekiss3r @wony1e @whr4nakin @chenlesfavorite @onlyhyunjin (if your username isn’t in blue/grey, please check your visibility settings so i can properly tag you <33)

[yeehawthethird]

Ok so I got my friend to watch an episode of lab rats (avalanche) + some out of context clips, and gathered all their thoughts. We shall unpack them.

Adam: deserves to be publicly executed, needs a low taper fade “imagine if ch-Adam got a low taper fade” *would start a fight with him (and win????), get him a barber

Bree: made them want to be a pilgrim and yell “witch”, not French,need to cut her split ends, like the cheese? *middle aged women?, did the stress get to her?, does she have curtain bangs?

Chase: chase after who?, deserves a villain arc, horrendous taste in fashion, “I knew he was a boy liker”, ringing their gaydar * Atlantic???, he makes them tired, even his hairline can’t be straight

Leo: his name reminds them of lemon cheese?????, good character, yeahhhhh, nice t-shirt, he gets it funky, * kinda looks shellshocked, “me like”, kinda reminds them of Mario

Donald: Elon Musk????, TRUMP???, duck????, Jeffery Epstein???? (Elon Epstein), minors in the offshore facilities????, not winning any elections

Douglas: likes his deviled eggs, giving them horrendous cramps????, ice, ice ice baby, * he’s burning his tits, needs more Doug, can sense that he is gay considering his bald sugar daddy

Tasha: hot, milf, smash, basically a single mom who works two jobs, kinda looks like Michelle Obama, * in Tasha we stand

Janelle: looks like a substitute teacher, “the class doesn’t dismiss you I do”, if she hits the gritty she’d be cooler, wait no don’t put that in

*Marcus: “Is that the homosexual?”, hairline kinda wonky, thought he was Sebastian for some reason-, probably gonna start standing on a table and start reciting hamlet, a cashiers worst nightmare

*perry: seems like would walk into a Wendy’s in full Wendy’s gear and claims she owns the place, “FRANK YOUR dreamS BECAME A NIGHTMARE”

*Sebastian: reminds them of Johnny bravo on steroids, the leather jacket ain’t doing much, hiding all of his insecurities, gives closeted bisexual vibes, also popeye vibes, looks like he can unhinge his jaw like a snake 😭💀

There is SO MUCH to unpack here.

[arpmemething2]

Scott Pilgrim Vs the World Sentence Starters

Send one for my muse's response. Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"What a perfect asshole."

"If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?"

"I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don't care about any of that stuff. Because I'm in lesbians with you."

"Does that mean we can make out?"

"You're too good for him. RUN."

"He's good right? Sometimes I let him do the wide shots, when I feel like getting blazed back in my Winnie. What can I say? I'm nothing without my stunt team."

"It's amazing what we can do with computers these days."

"You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!"

"Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he."

"He punched the highlights out of her hair!"

"I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face."

"Did you really see a future with this girl?"

"It was a very amicable breakup. We're peaches and gravy now!"

"He punched a hole in the moon for me, so that was pretty cool."

"That's it! You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity."

"I don't know the meaning of the word."

"I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping."

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them."

"I want to have his adopted babies."

"You're the salt of the earth."

"Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises... and a fast entrance into hell!"

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass."

"Kick her in the balls!"

"Ask them what it's like to get his sloppy seconds!"

"You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst."

"Your BF's about to get eff'd in the b!"

"What's the password?"

"I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own."

"Didn't you get my email explaining the situation?"

"You broke the heart that broke mine."

"Ok this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die.""

"He just left."

"You once were a ve-gone, but now you will begone."

"We all have baggage."

"Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost."

"Do that again, and I will end you!"

"Oh? Do you have any embarrassing stories?"

"Don't you talk to me about grammar!"

"Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday."

"Listen, I know I can be hard to be around sometimes. I totally understand if you don't want to hang anymore."

"Ooh, coins!"

"Did you know that the original word for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You would think it was because he looks like a hockey puck, but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase "Paku-Paku" which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people would scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever."

"You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef. Let's do it."

"'Sup? How's life? He seems nice."

"Guess who's drunk!"

"So what you're saying is we're dating?"

"I have to go pee due to boredom."

"Bread makes you fat?"

"Open your eyes. Maybe you'll see!"

"You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!"

"Go ahead. I'm too cool for you anyway."

"Why can't we have our own secret shows?"

"Hey so, can this not be a one-night stand? For one thing I didn't even get any. That was a joke."

"I can not... have... tea."

"Vegans are just better then everyone else."

[fipindustries]

a gay romantic comedy

because its the genre of movie i most grew up with my brain cant stop coming up with ideas for all family romantic comedies and one specific idea wont leave my brain: a straight guy who realizes he is gay. So now that im bed ridden with some mysterious illness ill take the time to get into it.

Warning: this gets stupid long.

Now you have to understand, the specific genre im thinking of is mid 2000s romantic comedy, so this straight guy, he is like aggresively heteronormative. He is kind of doofy, a little douchey but with a heart of gold. He is scott pilgrim. He is the type of guy that could have been played by paul rudd or ben stiller or seth rogen, right?

The movie starts with him going through a breakup with a girl, she complains that he never pays her attention, he never shows affection because he is too lost in his world of videogames and pot and, oh btw, he is lousy in bed. She storms off and he can barely muster the energy to call her back. He seems despondent but also kind of relieved.

So he goes to hang out with his stoner friends to lick gis wounds, and these guys are like the prototypical douchebags, james franco is tgere, jonah hill is there, fucking matthew lillard is there. And they are laughing it off and trying to tell him that he should "totally forget that bitch dude, there is always fresh pussy". They also take the chance to make fun of him a little for all his previois short lived failed relationships with women.

And then one of the whips out a gay porn because he claims "one of the actors there totally looks like jonah dude, is like really fucked up" and our protagonist, lets call him paul, is like, "aw i dunno guys, i dont think i want to watch this, i never watched gay porn before" and we cut to a series of flashbacks where he was raised by hilariously catholic parents who told him if he ever masturbated his fand would catch gangreene.

But they ignore him and put on the movie and first of all the actor does not look at all like jonah, at most they both have a jewfro, second as the scene goes on and the guys are laughing their asses off and going on about how "gross" and "fucked up" it is and can you believe some people are into this shit? Paul is slowly realizibg that, oh fuck, this is actually doing it for him. So he tries to disimulate and act normal but he is swea12ting and he clearly has a boner and is breathing hard and one of the guys asks "hey are you ok?" And he says some quick excuse to run out.

We cut to him running down the streets of downtown at night and he is freaking out because wherever he sees he sees hots guys in billboards and construction workers that look really buff and maybe he collides against a freddy mercury impersonator who offers him a hand when he falls to the ground that he rejects as he runs back to his apartment.

Once he is there he tries to prove to himself that he is definetly not gay so he tries to watch a normal straight porn but as it goes on he realizes he is looking at the guy not the girl. Then he sees his room is filled with posters of rambo and silvester stallone and he tears them down and its all a hilariously over the top breakdown. He flushes is macho action figures down the toilet, he tries to throw away his wolverine comics, at one point he is about to throw a vhs of chuck norris out the window but hen he realizes he just cant do it and collapses on the groubd crying

Next day he wakes up in the middle of his kitchen by the banging of the door, it is the one positive female influence he has in his life, his sister, who heard what happened and wants to see if he is ok.

He is like "im not ok" and he goes on about how he has "big news, terrible, terrible news" and he makes a huge deal out of it and the sister (played by, lets say, meg ryan) is like really worried and he finally is like "im gay!!! :((((("

And the sister is like "thats it?" And he is like "what do you mean thats it!?"

And then she completly deflates the tension and gives a speech about how its [current year] and its totally normal to be gay now a days and starts listing a bunch of celebrities that ard out and proud. So this calms him down a little and she goes on to say that this is actually a great opportunity for him, he just discovered there is a whole new flavor of ice cream he can enjoy and all the new doors this opens and is basically the speech the therapist gives to mel gibson in "what women want" and paul starts realizibg this could actually be an interesting experiment. What finally seals the deal is the sister saying "you know how you always had a hard time with girls? Well imagine now how much easier it should be for you to be with guys"

So then we go on to a montage of the guy exploring his new identity, maybe a shopping sequence where he tries a bunch of stereotipical gay outfits where his sister shakes her head at every single one. He goes to watch broadway shows, we see him watching will and grace or the ellen show. And finally the big one, he goes to a gay bar.

He is uncomfortable at first because he has no idea of the culture or the scene. Maybe he hits it off with a bunch of dudes, eventually he relaxes and starts to have fun. By the end of the night he walks off with like party hats and novelty glasses and confetti but, oh no! He comes across his douchy friends!

They ask him what is going on and "why is he dressed like a fag" and paul is stuttering, freezing in front of the headlights, not knowing what to say when a big dude we dont recognize walks in and he is like "hey! You forgot your acting check, for the short film you just acted in (wink wink)" and he bails paul in front of his friends. The friends walk off satisfied and paul is thanking the buff guy profusely and the guy is like "dont worry about it, after all, us fags have to stick together"

By the way the guy is none other than hugh jackman.

They immediatly hit it off. Its a meet cute. They have chemistry and a lot of fun. We get to another sequence of paul trying to figure out how to date a guy after years of only dating girls. He brings him flowers and chocolates, he tries to open the door for him at restaurants and pay for the check. At this hugh explain he doesnt have to treat him like a girl and insists on splitting the check. So then paul, wracking his brain for ideas for dates tries to invite him to a romantic comedy but hugh is like "actually i like to go see underground wrestling".

This opens a new set of funny highjinks were they are there watching the show and maybe paul gets dragged into the fight because this is a funny comedy world where wrestling is real. And there are lots of funny slapstick and hugh rescues him and carries him off in a reference to the movie "the bodyguard".

There are other funny scenes we can do like them going to pride parade or maybe paul and hugh coming across the catholic parents and through a series of misunderstandings and wordgames (maybe encouraged by paul to stay in the closet) the parents think hugh is like a roomate or a coworker "we share a room, we sleep in bunkbeds, uh, hugh likes to be the top [rimshot]"

Then finally comes the big moment. They are in bed together, they are making out, things are getting really steamy and hugh starts making advances to take paul's pants off. Maybe, agains because of misunderstandings, hugh thinks pauls wants to bottom and then the last remains of pauls heteronormativity kick in and he freaks out. He pushes hugh off, makes a huge scene. Maybe says some hurtful things, hugh is clearly upset at this and starts talking about how he is tired of paul hiding him or whatever. Its a huge fight. Paul storms off.

We have out obligatory sequence before the third act where our protagonists sulks and reflects on his choices and he is back to hanging out with his stoner friends who are saying a bunch of homophobic jokes and how things are "totally gay" and "dude that is so fucking gay" and maybe they are at the park jeering at a lesbian couple. And the paul decides he had enough and finds the courage to stand up to his friends.

He starts by telling them to cut it off with the homo jokes and calling bad things gay all the times and what is wrong with being gay anyway? And his friends are like "what are you? Gay?"

And he proudly says "yes, i am"

And his friends are all shocked into silence.

" now if you excuse me, i have to apologize with my boyfriend"

And then he runs off, and maybe the lesbians he defended yell "go get it white boy!"

So he has to run across the city to find his boyfriend, and the pop rock song swells in the background.

Now hugh is probably at a big event like an art gallery or a baseball game or maybe at an airport. The point is that is a big space with a big crowd, maybe for extra points pauls parents are there as well.

So paul comes in and does a big emotional gesture where he apologizes to hugh in front of everyone and he loudly comes out of the closet in front of all of new york (because of cpurse this happens in new york, in fact fuck it, its christmass too). And there is a big applause and he kisses hugh in front of everyone and maybe the mother comically faints.

And then hugh is like, really touched, but also there was no need to do this whole scene. "Paul, im a switch"

We cut to an epilogue years later where they are getting married in central park, and everyone is there. The sister is crying of happyness, the parents are lightly clapping through gritted teeth, the stoner friends are actually there and they are cheering and hollering and doing a big ruckus.

Hugh throws the bouquet of flowers and maybe jonah hill grabs it and he looks around and, why the fuck not, there is the gay porn star that sort of looks like him and he winks.

Our happy couple rides off into the sunset. The end.

Depending on how edgy we want to be we can have scenes of them doing hardcore gay sex during the credits, otherwise just a scene of both of them in bed after the sex, we get one last chance for our actors to improv some funny lines while "you get what you give" by the new radicals plays over the credits.

The end

[vitch-with-v]

shit i like so y'all can follow me :)

i don't remember like half of the stuff and fandoms im in so im gonna try to list off as many as i can and I'll go adding with time

• scream

• scott pilgrim

• fnaf

• saiki k

• zerocalcare

• my babysitter is a vampire (cries in dead fandom)

• nowhere boys (cries in even MORE dead fandom) (if u like this series MARRY ME) (felix ferne is literally the reason im trans and gay help-)

• my chemical romance

• system of a down

• dairy if a wimpy kid (yes, for the reasons you're thinking of. Im gay and trans ok u cant expect much off me >:[)

• sally face

• once upon a witchlight

• mortal kombat (im JUST getting into it ok? I don't know all the lore leave me alone *cries*)

• movies! Like in general! I'll watch about anything. Especially horror and old movies :D

There's probably like a lot of stuff that im forgetting but oh well, I'll see next time lol