#ok fuck it dude its like 8 am i think i can post this

[papersnatch]

a small celebration for a big man's birthday

[foxbinnstuff]

expanding more on the ship playlist C: there will be explanations for why I put the songs in there aand the songs themselves!! hope this post is a little fun to read!

a little color coded cuz I loove color coded stuff here!

song lyrics

my opinion based ratings

Other stuff I refrence

I think its just a fun yet far away vibe like this is Kaidou to Saiki to me oh my god

“I’ve been trying, but I can’t hide it from you”

“can’t stop that disco wanting you”

Like I can’t explain it, but its them

Kaidou loving like an excited dog who’s bursting with it and Saiki being a emotionally closed off person not knowing what to do with it, especially when he has a epiphany like “I like him back?!” do you get it

also please imagine them doing that little trending tiktok dance to this song! (if you dont know what I’m talking about just search up “disco dance trend” on tiktok its soo cute) imagine Kaidou being so excited and Saiki just being so fond of him AAAGH

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 6

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 9

I think they admire each other in this sort of way, not exactly admiration for Saiki, but more like a distant adoration

the “when you smile it kills me” line could be for each of them, like I think Saiki has seen Kaidou smile and just crumbled internally at least once, like that little guys is just so ugh, how can’t you?! He just loves Kaidou sm I can’t I CAN’T. And for Kaidou, Saiki smiling is so rare that it would kill just about anyone, ESPECIALLY if you admire him so much to the point where every other word is his damn name like oh my god. Kaidou’s looking at him with shiny eyes when Saiki smiles and he’s like “thats another dude, am I gay?” for a few seconds, but then shrugs it off cuz thats his best alley! of course not!

“when you cry it kills me” Saiki to Kaidou, Saiki to Kaidou Saiki to KAIDOUU COME ON!!!! COME OONN!!!!! lots of talk about being lonely and only having the other holy fuck I’m so sickly for them

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 7

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 7.5

Kaidou to Saiki C: probably in an au where Kaidou knows about Saiki’s powers, but also maybe this song can even apply to cannon because like they are so buddies, Kaidou has dropped his act for the most part around Saiki and the others and thats so special to me…..

the “and I just might know you, too” at the end ARE YOU KIDDING ME its so playful like oh my god. Them in energy and in some of the lyrics too

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 7

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 8.5

idk I just imagine them dating and holding hands and snuggling and being cute to this, like its not exactly them, but it has the energy of them.

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 3

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 8

idk how to explain it, just Saiki to Kaidou about his hero complex and Saiki saying “He should of just used this personality” in the manga AAAGH

AND Kaidou to Saiki in a way but I can’t explain that

I just think about them nervously dancing to this

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 6

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 6

Kaidou to Saiki hehehe about Kaidou’s hero complex, like he loves Saiki so much and and and ok lets take it lyric by lyric

“I never asked you why you walk me through the night” if Saiki really does hate him so much and gind him so annoying, why the hell would he walk him home🤨, like omg we know they do not live on the same street we know that from the christmas party at Saikis, so SO WHY DO THEY END UP AT KAIDOU’S HOUSE THAT ONE TIME WE SAW HIS HOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND WWHY DID IT LOOK LIKE THAT WERE DROPPING HIM OFF LIKE WALKING HIM HOME LIKE COME ON!!!!! (I think of that a lot sorry)

“But I’m tired of romance, I’m tired of romance” BROSKI IS SCARED SCARED OF ROMANTIC FEELINGS

“don’t tell me you’ve had enough, don’t tell me i talk too much!” He’s maybe heard this from people before, I mean he does seem like a fucking bully target so he probably puts self defense up, but in a way he probably knows Saiki at least enjoys a little of his company and isn’t a bully oh my god oh my god kill me kill me kill me

“we both know I’m not that tough, don’t call my bluff”

defensive jumping up and down in front of him, wantinf his attention but not wanting it to be negative like “come on!!!”

“do you wanna take me home, or are you too scared to be alone? I think that we both know (I think that we both know)” something something Kaidou noticing the little things when it comes to Saiki

“but I still wanna dance, though we don’t stand a chance. Come on take my hand, come on take my hand”

Kiadou wants to be around Saiki so bad and genuinely enjoys him like oh my god and he thinks they’re both fucking losers. I also think the “come on take my hand” bit is them taking a chance on each other like they can’t be in romantic relationships, Kaidou’s mom wants him to focus and study and he can’t fucking handle it whils Saiki is a psychic who saves the world every once in a while snd also cannot fucking handle it AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 7.5

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 6

this is like a mix of the feelings they have for each other, “you make me feel like I can be myself instead, but I know you don’t want me around” Kaidou

the first part is Kaidou, the first part is Kaidoi def second part is a little Saiki “I know you’re thinking the same thing, so why are you denying all these new feelings?” Saiki in a huff probably

“cuz I just wanted you around” BOTH OF THEM!!! Mostly Kaidou, Saiki could barley admit that

the “the number you have dialed” part is so them painfully pining, Saiki distancing himself probably and Kaidou trying to get closer like the Yumehara situation, but they already have a devolped close friendship so its PAINFUL for both of them

I can just imagine an animatic of them to this song.

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 7

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 7

them thinking about each other in college and/or them noticing the small things about each other, seeing each other even

I do mostly think this is a Kaidou song

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 4.5

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 6

some of these lyrics aren’t them really, but I do think Kaidou’s thoughts would be sort of like this if he had a crush on Saiki in canon, like dude probably thinks Saiki has a secret relationship with teruhashi or something at one point. I just think about them sometimes.

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 5

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 8.5

Do I even need to explain omg

“Love made me strong enough to be alone, it set me free”

“With my friends friends till the end is where I wanna be”

They are just so soft in this specific Kimya Dawson songs way

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 10

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 9

Holy wow! I hit the audio limit ok!! Tune in for part 2 next time mayhaps!!!

Also feel free to say just about anything to me! I’m open to taking critiques about not understanding the characters and such :3

[orlamccools]

vent post under the cut- if youve got advice id love to hear it

so. ive been talking to this guy for a long ass while, you can scroll thru the last tag on this post to see what its all about, but long story short is this: i asked him out two saturdays agoto my friends going away party (which was held this past friday). hes met this friend once before, and we planned to meet at her place and then maybe go out to the bars after

entire week he is super into it, texts me more often than normal, creates a spotify blend for the two of us (w that feature that lets you combine your tastes into a single playlist) like im getting VIBES. and he asks abt our plans!!!! we make a solid schedule!!!

night of the party he texts me at 8:45 checking in to see if its all happening and i say yeah. i get home from work, change, then get to my friends house and text him that im here. he doesnt respond for an hour and finally says something abt how he has to charge his phone before coming out. im like ok man whatever i just want to hang so do what you gotta do. another half hour passes and then he hits me with the "hey idk if im gonna make it out". im disappointed by this, so i respond with like a "damn that kinda sucks :/" message. at this point i expect him to stop messaging me, but then he texts me quite literally for the rest of the night. like he literally doesnt stop until i text him that im walking home.

saturday i see him in person for a short period when he does the close out but another driver fucking also comes to sweep the store and just. will not stop talking to the dude in question. he like tries to get away twice but between customers and this other guy we dont talk like at all. after the other driver leaves and the store is closed he comes back in to use the bathroom and like stands by the door for a moment so i like look over but all he does is smile and wave then leave.

SATURDAY NIGHT. he texts me at like 8 responding to a text i had sent the previous night asking if im going out again tonight. i said yeah (bc a separate friend had a party) and he was like bet lemme know where youre at i might stop by and see you. i send him the address of the restaurant and proceed to hang w my friends until midnight. hes again texting me all night abt getting ready to head out but when we finally leave he hits me with the "finally leaving now where should i meet you". at this point i am exhausted, as ive just finished my first week of classes, had drunk heavily over the past 48 hours, and had worked a 13 hr workday that day. i text him and say im like too tired im going home and hes like damn :////

yesterday night. i do an eras movie night w my friends and i send a picture of the opening sequence to the ppl i have snapchat streaks with. he snaps me the rest of the night and is like "ohhhh you should have invited me" and stuff like that and its like. i didnt invite you for a multitude of reasons but like you ditched plans once this weekend and kept pushing back the other time i tried to invite you out, so why do you think i would ask you a third time???????

and now im just confused bc like. he seemed sooooooooo into it all week and then as soon as it was time for things to happen he just didnt show and kept stringing me along. im also lowkey pissed bc i wanted to hang with him and i was SO anxious abt asking him out (like i literally threw up twice friday morning bc i was so anxious abt how the day was gonna go). im just frustrated and like i had thought he had gotten the vibe that i was into him romantically bc it sure as shit seemed like he was reciprocating, and now im not even sure what to do anymore.

[nitazenes]

even if things “aren’t as they seem”

they should be treated with the same level of seriousness

and how is he supposed to be the one to judge when he doesn’t want to get to know how your system functions?

when we told our therapist we have DID the first thing she’s done was get to learn about us and how we function

how can he help when he’s so disinterested? it’s so strange and honestly a bit creepy

well like (tw ramcoa and programming mentions below, also brief animal death mention)

you in no way have to read everything ive said below bc i really went on a rant here but tl;dr you're totally right. Even if it was something else, it still clearly effects me and i need treatment for it. Honestly youre not the first one to call him a creep --- rant starts here --- Not to expose too much but I have spoken to a fellow RAMCOA survivor and i dont really know anything re: programming and the point of it or how it even works

But i sat down and verbatim, almost word for word recited two different things that had happened to us that were *textbook* RAMCOA. The fact I parroted what happened to me without even knowing programming terms and definitions just, takes away all skepticism i have. And the fact that a survivor and I experienced ALMOST the exact same programming, literally just going back and forth about what happened. There's no fucking WAY i just made that up.

I avoid reading stuff about programming bc my own targets therapeutic language, if I start reading about it, very quickly we begin to spin, get motion sick, scatter, or rapid switch.

And true. even if it wasnt what it seemed (which it def was RAMCOA) but lets just say its not what it seemed, it still seems very real to me, and effects me severely. That means it's still a problem that should be addressed the same way you would address any RAMCOA survivor.

The fact he wont listen means he's not going to catch on if i start recycling or having a coded trigger be set off. I even had a programmed response to him once already where a program triggered from some hand gesture he made and I was completely out-- but it had me on my knees in front of my therapist trying to get his belt off. Thankfully in that situation he actually responded appropriately and backed up, helped me up and walked me back to my chair and said "You dont have to do that for me to help you" thats the ONE TIME ive gotten the care I want out of him. that was 8 years ago. i have displayed my programming directly in his face. Many times at this point. and at the time i didnt even know why i did that and i was so ashamed and embarrassed and crying and he was just like. "it's ok"

he shows no interest in learning who my alters are, what they do, what jobs they perform, my system map (very complex and layered with different subsystems) this dude has to know i am programmed like i said in some post somewhere, i killed a rattle snake BY MYSELF at 8 years old bc it was threatening our chickens, in fact i was so confident that i didnt even have snake boots on (boots that snake bites cannot penetrate) we lived in rattle snake central and yet as an 8 year old i drove a shovel into that snake and killed it.

i dont think people realize how young that is to be killing an animal, for ANY reason. had my parents any care for me, they would have made sure I had my boots on, and they would have monitored me while in the backyard, i killed the snake and had to go get my dad on the other side of the house that a snake was going after the chickens but i dealt with it and the most he said was "good job, wear your boots next time"

like ik rn im trauma dumping on this post but even if things weren't what they seemed, why do i have a scar with two dots visible from having a stun gun jammed into my ribs as a kid, That scar didnt come from nowhere. I might not have known what it was but i took my own stun gun (it was similar to the one id been attacked with) and the prongs line up exactly with the dots. At this point, esp given that i remembered the institution i went to, i just want someone to wholly believe me.

If i said one day

"it was all a lie. i made it up. im not mentally ill, ive just lived the life of someone with a disorder i dont have"

my family would take that as gospel. they would much rather believe that i lied my whole fucking life, than me calling out the fact that I was surrounded by evangelicals and fundamentalist christians most of my childhood who were weird and malicious towards me.

i finally opened up to my therapist about my fear of surveillance last week, that these days, anytime youre outside youre on some camera. and im afraid of audio bugs. So much that i carry a device that causes horrid feedback to whoever is listening on the other end of a radio, its like a signal jammer. he goes "What makes you think youre so unique that the government or whomever is watching you"

and i finally just shut off and said "i cant tell you" its more damaging for me to go into these therapy sessions feeling like i need to convince my therapist that this was real.

He may have shown interest in my system rediscovery for about the first year i saw him. after that he doesnt even ask how my alters are doing, always expects it to be me (Rey) at the front at all times and he doesnt even know how my system functions, i dont even think he knows theres a hierarchy in my system-- so how can he help me if he doesnt care or know what i am truly dealing with.

His mind is still in the 70's when MPD was a thing.

I can't even talk to him about my sexuality or gender

ive never had someone to talk to about how I feel gender-wise (i used to identify as male, but now identify as Agender bc really, i dont fit in with most binary terms) he calls me she/her and i can forgive an old man for not using they/them/xe/xem pronouns for us but like. I also used to define myself as asexual but realized im more bi/pan than i thought and im not repulsed anymore. Mostly. but the most he said was "how does it feel to admit youre not asexual" i explained how it was new to me. that was the end of the subject.

What about the fact that i have cis, trans, and intersex alters all over the board? how do i help them with their dysphoria? I dunno!!

my aunt has been paying out of pocket for the past 8 years for his treatment where i feel like after 3 years, he'd gotten tired of me. Lost interest. most of his clients are older than me and they seem to have great relationships with him. I guess old people just get along with fellow old people.

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side B

Pad Thai - Jack Stauber

"Maddening, it's a regular bad thing! Pad Thai, I'm a normal guy! Saddening, nothing's really happening! That's right, take a big bite!"

How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20

"But I believe the world is burning to the ground Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out Let's see how far we've come Let's see how far we've come"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

Pad Thai - Jack Stauber

Propaganda:

No Written Propaganda Submitted

Animatics with the song:

Helluva Boss

OMORI

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun mitsukou

TGCF

DSMP

How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20

Propaganda:

Aside from two of my favourite ever animatics being to this (Homestuck and Hermitcraft 8) it’s such a fandom song (genuinely up there with soldier poet king in the “oh my god it’s just like my d&d party” vibe). So many stories are about averting an apocalypse or some other looming threat “I’m waking up at the start of the end of the world” and the whole song is about reflecting back on your life and that of the world around you. It’s perfect for a climatic buildup to the end of a campaign or series finale, or a summary of an entire work. “Say your goodbyes if you’ve got someone you can say goodbye to” is perfect for drawing ships or friends or siblings to, with maybe one solitary person at the end. The percussion and guitar also make it very suited to animatics - there’s perfect parts in the music to switch between frames or scenes. It’s been around since 2007 so it’s nostalgic and from the peak of amvs and animatics. Please this song fucks so hard look at all the lyrics listen to it on loop it’s so quintessential to me

the DRAMA. the STORY. the EMOTIONS. this is a song for an animatic that covers character growth and major plot points, and it does it so well! if i am invested in the fandom and watch a how far we've come animatic i already know it will change me as a person

Dude. It makes the heart swell with emotion and pride at wow these characters sure have come far

It's the OG. I don't even know if homestuck started its popularity in the animatic scene but it was huge and it remains huge. From TAZ to (apparently, from a quick youtube search) hermitcraft, this song will tear at people's heartstrings as they think about blorbos the band has can't even imagine.

this song makes me so emotional ok? i know lots of fandoms use it but the ones that stuck with me are warrior cats, hermitcraft and of course homestuck. sorry for the cringe but im glad to be free. anyways this is THE song for anything that has either ended or had a large amount of time pass and also its just a really fucking good song on its own.

Animatics with the song:

Hermitcraft

The Adventure Zone

DSMP

Last Life SMP

Homestuck

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

Please keep in mind that I don't know all the media and fandoms of the animatics provided as examples and I don't have the time (nor the will) to research them all. Don't come into my notes or my ask box complaining about them being included, I will simply block you. If a ship animatic included is about an adult and a minor, do tell me and I'll take it out of the post

ALSO keep in mind that I don't know all the artists submitted; in fact, even if I do know them I do not know absolutely nothing about them as people (I do not have twitter nor tiktok) and I could not POSSIBLY have the time to research ALL of the artists' controversies and what came of them so PLEASE don't flood my inbox with the artists' entire crime list.

[zalrb]

OTH 3X05 Rewatch Review

OTH won.

1. I keep forgetting OTH is on Prime

2. IIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYY

3. One Tree Hill wants Tree Hill to be a basketball town so badly and doesn’t put in any of the effort.

4. I like how stiff these cheerleaders actually are.

5. “You’re breaking her heart you know that?” I’m sorry, he nearly died and she DIDN’T COME HOME.

6. Lucas, SHUT UP. You were the one who cheated on your girlfriend with her best friend and then dated that girlfriend’s neighbour broke up with said neighbour and went next to that girlfriend’s house RIGHT AFTER BREAKING UP WITH HER NEIGHBOUR

7. Right, I forgot they thought he kissed Haley. I mean, still though.

8. The fight between Nathan and Lucas escalates to an unbelievable point, it would not cause a brawl between the team, that’s dumb.

9. Peyton, if you hate being a cheerleader, stop being a fucking cheerleader, jesus christ.

10. OH MY GOD, A WOMAN WITH ARMPIT HAIR? BURN HER AT THE STAKE.

11. Every time I see Rachel, I think about how me and my friend shipped Jensen with Sophia, I don’t even know HOW that came about but we were like Chad is disgusting and Sophia and Jensen should totally date and get married and Chad can choke and die then we found out Jensen was with Danneel and we were like ....................

12. Chris’ album name is “Keller Instinct”? Ugh.

13. I like how Chris is supposed to be a hot shot musician but also has nothing better to do than hang around Haley and Chris, that’s weird dude.

14. It’s funny I rewatch Veep a lot and this character Jonah who is terrible is about to be offered like hundreds of million of dollars for his website and Selina the protagonist is like:

and every time one of the characters is like “Dan’s running for mayor?? It’s like...” I think of this scene.

15. This shit is SO unsanitary.

16. Dan, you’re running your own campaign.

17. I am posting this without comment and tagging @initiumseries​

18. I totally forgot about Gigi.

19. The casting as Ellie as Peyton’s birth mom was a good choice though.

20. Oh God, is Peyton going to see Ellie’s picture of her and be like YoU LiEd To mE!!!! It is this scene right.

21.

22. (it is).

23.

24. At least she isn’t crying this time.

25.

OH MY GOD, PEYTON, GET A FUCKING GRIP 

26. I am so done with these scenes, can we move on.

27. Ha.

28. What is this dialogue? What does it even mean?

29. I like how she puts this on Nathan like she didn’t kiss him and insist on working with him and didn’t ask Nathan to come with her on tour

Once again I am reminded of how I like Naley together but build up Naley not so much.

30. “If you work with Chris and end up having feelings for him again, then I guess I have my answer.” “That’s ridiculous, Nathan, that’s not fair!” I mean, how though? You didn’t even say you didn’t have feelings for him, Haley. THIS IS HIS POINT.

31. I like how when Dan actually is mayor it’s not really a catastrophe, unless I’m misremembering.

32. At least Peyton tackles Rachel when she punches Brooke.

33. Like these fights don’t make sense because it’d be an entire team and an entire squad trying to pull apart TWO people of their OWN team/squad.

34. You were slut shaming Brooke like 2 seconds ago, Rachel

35. At least he looks uncomfortable here, with Brooke he looks bewildered and then into it by the very end.

36. This always bothered me because it DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE. Is it last year or two years ago?

37.

38. I always found it HILARIOUS that Brooke slaps Rachel and Lucas just watches like damn, Brooke. Doesn’t even go to see if Rachel’s OK.

39. “You know that thing about judging a book by its cover? Well it’s true. Sometimes you gotta read the whole thing” this is the clumsiest shit ever, STOP TALKING.

40. Nathan, why are you lurking by a tree?

[geronimomo-spd]

ok now that i finished my "absolotly canon because i can now put my love for him into cold canon facts that i observed"

its time for things i know about the Eighth doctor that i know because i headcanon them and so they are real TO ME 😭 (you are more then welcome to adot any of these of course, if anyone will want to)

- an old one that i still think is true: MY GUY IS A MUSICAL NERD, he absolotly listens to some bops as he is flying the tardis around, confusing Charley as he bops to Naughty (because he would LOVE Matilda come on) he defenetly listen to A LOT OF THEM in the beginning of his adventures, Everybody's talking about Jamie, beetlejuice and so on. (and this is also me projecting of course but like, what other doctor but him?? he would have dance paries all the time)

but serosly, the guy littiraly lives Matilda, listens once to Quiet and he is like "i have never heard something more relatable in my life", Charley adores Six and he honestly can't blame her, a fan of Everyone's talking about Jamie and beetlejuice for sure he is as well!

even before Charley gets into it, he will drop quotes and little melodies and Charley would have to be like ??? oh he is at it again (i will expand upon this headcanon because i have a lot to say about it hehe)

- has panic attacks!! i think he has a lot of problems with emotinal regulation post movie, recovering from fucking attempted body snatching, so i think in the first couple of episodes he would have a lot of trouble balancing his overexcitment and his more dark and almost emotinaless anger states so i think it makes sense that he would have a lot of issues with regulating from the fucking traumatic shit he is going through with Charley, i think in the beginning its more prominante and he gets a little better about it, ie btter with handeling them and hiding them, and i also think that Charley also gets hem which is why it makes sense they sort of have to help each other through it his shutdowns (which i also headcanon he has) go through a jouney is also fasinating to me, like, i headcanon him having trouble to being able to contain meltdown because fuck i am distressing everyone else fuck- so through time he ends up having extreme shutdowns instead, the kind that he just instently drops to the floor expressionless and just... stayes there for a while (i might a bunch of drabbles about it too fghfddfg) ALSO SCHERZO IS BASICALLY HIM REALISING A LOT OF HIS PENT UP EMOTIONS AND HE IS TRYING TO REPSESS WHAT HE IS FEELING BUT THEN HE HAS NOCHOISE AND JUST EXPLODES

- the reason he gets amnesiac a lot is because of the events of the movie, basically having the master try and dissconect his mind from his body so close to his regenaration basically makes his brain to be a lot more frail then other doctor's brains and it tends to slip away from him a lot because of this!!

- NON BINERY TO THE MAX, the dude might be genderfluid, i see people headcanoning 8 as genderfluid and i get it, as a genderfluid guy who loves to project on peopel who it loves, would usually make my fave genderfluid but he is also just so!!! genderfuck idk, defenetly expreses his gender in the most fluid way possible tough!! when someone asks him what his pronouns today are he is just like "hmmm i am quite happy today i think :)" and sometimes "i can't think today!!" or "hehehe hohoho i am sad, what is gender", defenetly uses they/them pronouns most of the time!!, he/they sometimes, the experiments go on!! (also i wrote down these headcanons before i saw some qoutes from the EDAs and JESUS OMG YES ITS SO NICE TO KNOW SOME FORM OF CANON RECOGNIZES THE GENDER ENERGY OF THIS VICTORIAN DANDY)

- some sort of physically disabled!! i personally headcanon all of the doctors to be physically disabled of some kind, but espeshelly 8! to have what is arguably concidered the most enthusiastic and energetic Doctor to be the one that needs a mobility aid makes my disabled heart so happy. its too early to tell when he discoves this, but to me he was BORN with aching legs and slight chronic pain, he just didn't notice it because ya know... the littiral medical wire that was stuck inside his chest... and of course other more urgent matter of potincial body stealing, he just thought it was pretty normal!! then through the Charley arc its slwly gets worse, at the end of the day he does concider a crutch or a cane because why not!

ok yes this is a basic list (and i can goall out about most othese ecae i love them so much)

(ALSO i do wanna add stuff from the EDAs is just the dylesixa will be a problem with reading those but im working on it 😤😤)

[toriowlfluff]

Hey, if you dont wanna be in the public eye, maybe dont make g/t related content of REAL people?? Fictional characters are fine but dude cmon its common sense dont do that with real people, they WILL stumble across that

Omg I'm excited! This is the first time someone tells me not to do things I enjoy!

No but on a more serious note, I did stop creating content of the actual people a little while ago. (For ex. Beeduo irl)

And your opinion is valid I guess, but the fact that you think that the little Minecraft block characters are "REAL" then I don't know what to say man-

The only way I can describe it best for people who have an ounce of respect to listen is that I see it like a movie or TV show. The actors themselves play fictional characters. There's fiction of those characters outside of the conventional popular media (fanart, fanfiction, AUs ect.)

Would I be interested in fiction involving the actors of those characters?? No. Because it's the roles they play that intrigue me. Of course there's real people behind those fictional roles or, in this case, little Minecraft men, but those two things aren't connected at all in my brain.

The character Grian (the irl guy) plays is story driven, has lore (even tho he doesn't want to engage in it as much haha), has his own exaggerated quirks, has his funky gimmicks, has fucking wings in literally everyone's head cannon haha ect.

He's playing a character. A little Minecraft based character.

(The moon in season 8 of Hermitcraft didn't actually collide with our real earth-)

I'm not creating fiction of irl people. Nor am I trying to offend anyone by sharing the stuff I enjoy creating with the few others who have the same interests as me.

The previous post was about people who might NOT be interested in my content and who might be weirded out by the idea of G/t in general. I wanted to tell my lovely followers that I don't really like being shared outside the G/t community. And I think that's a reasonable boundary to have, don't you think?

It had nothing to do with "REAL" people in fiction. Because I simply don't do that anymore.

And if the irl peeps stumble upon my stupid little art blog with my stupid little small and big versions of their Minecraft characters then so be it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If they don't like it, they can move on. And that goes to you as well, Anon, if you're unhappy with the content you see on your feed (or my blog I guess) you have every right to curate it FOR YOURSELF. No hard feelings at all because it's just not everyone's cup of tea sometimes and that's ok.

[kitcat-italica]

My JCS Opinions No One Asked For

At this point in my obsession with this show, I’ve tracked down and watched lots of different versions through various legally dubious means.  Here are my thoughts on the ones I’ve seen so far!  (In a list of each show chronologically because why not)

1973 movie: This one is both great and ehhhh for me.  It’s great because it’s the original.  I love Carl Anderson’s Judas.  Ted Neely’s Gethsemane high note always tingles my spine.  Yvonne Elliman’s Mary Magdalene is just soothing and lovely.  The ensemble’s choreography always makes me chuckle, esp the cartwheeling before Simon’s song.  The setting is fun!  Hippies in the desert = basically what Jesus and Co were in 33AD. 

Its ehhhh points are that it just doesn’t *grip* me?  It doesn’t shake me upside down to make my brain fall out like other versions do.  Besides Gethsemane, Jesus in this version is leaning into the stoic-divine-savior depiction of him?  Which imo is not the point of JCS.  The Pharisees are��making costume choices.  Pilate is lame and forgettable.  Herod is supposed to be a WTF moment in every production, but this version just makes me vaguely uncomfortable and idk why.  And the slow tempo/boring choreography/weirdly-mixed sound during Superstar always puts me to sleep. Bonus points for Carl Anderson's heavenly leather fringe costume tho.

7/10

2000 movie: Here’s where things get interesting.  I briefly posted about my thoughts on this one in particular a while back.  This movie is such a trainwreck and I can’t stop watching it.  I’ll put on clips of it when I’m feeling down and need a laugh.  It’s…something.

The costume choices are just silly.  The overacting is comical.  The singing is either so weak (Jesus) or so overexaggerated (everyone else).  My throat gets sympathy pains every time Jerome Pradon’s Judas opens his mouth; he’s not a high tenor like the part requires.  But damn if he doesn’t sell the trash-man-surviving-on-Redbull-and-poor-life-choices version of this character in every single voice-cracking wail into the middle distance.  The devastation in his acting kills meeeee.  I also think Renee Castle might be my favorite Mary Magdalene?  I love her voice and her sweetness :) I also like the Pharisees in this!  They’re dressed like dollar store Matrix action figures and it absolutely works.  I also laugh at Simon’s frosted tips every time he’s onscreen.  The guy can sing tho! And it should be noted: between the costuming and the campiness and Judas’s every interaction with Jesus, this is one of the gayest versions out there.  I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not, but I’m grateful for it either way.

Lastly, special mention must go to Leather Daddy Pontius Pilate.  He absolutely fucks.

2/10 for actual quality, 9/10 for rewatch value

2012 Broadway revival: I like this one!  A lot!  It doesn’t *move* me, but it is extremely competent and everyone knows what they’re doing.  Jesus is kinda dull in this, but I’m ok with him not being the main character lol.  Josh Young’s Judas is aalskdjflsjdf yessss.  Belt those notes in your blue flowy robe my dude!!!  And the highlight is definitely the relationship between Jesus, Judas, and Mary.  They are 100% in a polycule and honestly good for them.  This is probably the only version where I will intentionally seek out the song Could We Start Again Please, just to see the three of them sing their verse together while holding hands.  It’s beautiful and deserves all the accolades.

I think the biggest downside for me in this is that since it’s a bootleg recording from faraway I can’t connect with their facial expressions as well as I would actually seeing this live.  That would probably make it one of my absolute favorites.

8/10

2012 UK Arena Tour: Oh, 2012 Arena Tour, my beloved.  I am such trash for you.  When I say that this show needs to latch onto my beating heart and refuse to let go, this is exactly what I’m talking about.  I will watch a clip from this, only to end up watching the entire show again because I cannot put it down.  It’s just.  So.  Good.

Lots of people have done write-ups in much more detail and eloquence about why they love this version, so I will be brief.  The casting in this show is just.  So top-notch.  There is not a weak link among them.  Often there will be parts I’ll skip in a JCS production because this or that character’s portrayal is kinda meh.  BUT NOT THIS VERSION.  I love everyone’s interpretations of their characters.  Jesus.  Judas.  Mary Magdalene.  Simon.  Caiaphas.  Annas.  Pilate.  Herod.  WHY ARE THEY ALL SO GOOD?????

This one also strikes the perfect balance in tone.  The ridiculous campy bits (like Herod’s song, Superstar, etc.) are played up as exactly that, but the serious bits are played deathly serious.  Everyone’s making choices according to their character’s internal logic, and it sucks me right in.  Ugh.  I love it.

Jesus and Judas are, of course, always the highlights.  And Ben Forster and Tim Minchin are just putting their whole hearts into this.  The chemistry?  The belting?  The facial expressions?  Every single choice they’re making, even when they’re not the focus of the scene?  The pained looks?  The eyerolls?  The moments of anguished violence, followed by immediate regret?  Ben’s Gethsemane (and making me care about his character’s emotional journey outside of Gethsemane)???  Tim’s death scene???  Superstar?????

Some people don’t like the modern aesthetic of this one.  Their tastes and mine are very different, because I adore it.  Some people say the autotune in the official recording ruins it for them.  It doesn’t ruin it for me; the vocals are still powerful and shake me to my core.  I can only imagine what it was like to see this live.  Probably the closest thing to a religious experience I will ever have.

10/10.  10/10.

2014 Swedish Arena Tour: Oooooh baby.  What a wild ride this is.  We got metal biker rockstar Messiah in the house!  Complete with leather pants and long flowing wigs :)  I love it.

Peter Johansson’s Judas is def one of my favorites.  He’s such a sarcastic slutty king.  I adore him.  

Speaking of slutty kings, did someone say Ola Salo’s Jesus????  This man is definitely hearing a voice in his head telling him he’s special, and thinking it’s God.  He is 100% down to call himself one part of a Holy Trinity.  His delivery of certain lines just gives me the happy wiggles.  It’s both ethereal, detached, and bitchy all at once.  My favorite is probably The Last Supper, when he’s taunting Judas with the lines “why don’t you go do it?” and “hurry, they are waiting”.  I don’t know how to describe it, but those two lines in particular just get me to my core the way he says them.

Then there’s the famous kiss.  Such a gay moment.  So good.

My complaint about this version is that everything else besides Jesus and Judas is bland at best, deeply uncomfortable at worst.  Yes, I am mostly talking about the Pharisees.  There is a whole other post I could make about how, since this show is based on the Gospels in the New Testament, a case can be made that it rests on a foundation that flirts with anti-Semitism, so it must tread very carefully not to lean into that.  (That also makes me question whether Christianity in itself is inherently anti-Semitic?  Maybe, maybe not, but again, that’s a whole nother conversation.)  And this version of JCS…misses the mark.  Hard.  And it prevents me from watching too much of this show beyond the big Jesus and Judas scenes.

9/10 for Jesus and Judas, 4/10 for everything else.

2018 Live In Concert: This one was a nope for me.  I liked Judas okay in this one, and his glittery, belt-y Superstar is probably one of my favorite versions of the song.  But John Legend was clearly cast as Jesus because he’s a big name music star who wanted that sweet sweet EGOT (and once he won an Emmy for being a producer on this show, he got it).  But he is a baritone trying to sing a tenor part.  I’m fine with him not going for the G5 in Gethsemane, but when he tries to climb up there for the “see how I die” part, *I* started getting lightheaded just watching him.  It’s painful.

Everything else is just boring and forgettable.  Not much else to say about it.

3/10.

Aaaand those are all the versions I’ve seen!  If y’all know of any others, lemme know and I’ll check them out :)

[mchi22]

i was tagged by @artificialpawsertives but somehow forgot 2 actually mention that when i posted this !! anyway hi bestie!!!

Name: alex or mchi (-: i dont really prefer being called one over the other

Star sign: scorpio but idk shit abt astrology lol

Height: i legitimately dont know but im taller than my 4′ 8″ chain of soda can tabs so. somewhere above that

Birthday: 11/15, which is 2 days before the anniversary of the release of the star wars holiday special. btw

Favorite Band/Artist: uuuuh lol idk. i like 100 gecs and a lotta stuff released by emma essex but i dunno that id say either of those are my favorites

Last Movie: ok so ive been thinking on this for like 5 minutes and i have no idea lmao i dont usually watch movies bc my attention span is Bad<3

Last Show: i once again dont know i dont watch tv shows HGJNKHGF

When Did I Create This Blog: early 2015 i think.. dark times

What Do I Post: i just be posting shit my dude ! the 2 constants u can count on me posting are rtvs and half life/hlvrai, but i also post abt video games i like and also my best friend fin fin (-:

Last Thing I Googled: i almost always google stuff in incognito for some fucking reason but the last thing in my actual google search history is “vrchat sdk”

Other blogs: mchi-art which is my art blog, w-e-b-k-i-n-z which is. my webkinz blog lol and xx-kandicore-xx which is my scenecore/old web/general aesthetic blog. i have other blogs i dont usually use like colorpicked-flags which is bc i love making pride flags colorpicked from various things, and then i have some urls im just keeping as a treat like dj-y0nd3r, leisuresheetthatbecomesabag, and piki-seal but i dont really plan 2 use any of those lol

Do I get asks: not usually unless i explicitly like, reblog an ask game or smthn lol. also sometimes random questions on my webkinz blog

Following: 328 ppl (-:

Average Hours of Sleep: uh uhhh lol uhhhhh like. 3-5 hours? but then i also nap sometimes

Instruments: like.. musical? i played clarinet for 3 years in middle school but i Hated it

What I Am Wearing: camo pants, the walking dead t-shirt (i dont even like twd anymore but i Have the shirt so i might as well wear it yknow), and sneakers. yes im wearing shoes in the house leave me alone

Dream Job: id say entomologist but like i literally have no idea what thatd entail.. am i making new bugs? new bugs just dropped? look forward 2 it.. but aside from that hear me out. i think itd be fun 2 be like someone who wears a silly mascot suit (-: i already like, want a fursuit and its basically just the same thing but u get paid, right? anyway this WILL be me

Dream Trip: if not just Go Visit All My Friends, oh my god i want 2 go 2 west virginia and go 2 billy bob’s wonderland

Nationality: american 😔

Fav Songs: this is too broad and is putting too much pressure on me so instead im going to offer some of my favorite songs that i have maps of in osu

lagtrain, lapfoxed forever, energy synergy matrix, guitarmass

Last Book I Read: i dont read stuff !!!!!!! i guess the handmaid’s tale? which i read over a year ago for english class?

Top 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: i can Not think of 3 so im just gonna say pokemon bc i wanna see deoxys.. silly guy

Tagging: no one bc i dont wanna give ppl notifications!! just do it if u want!!!! yippee!!!!

[alwaysthrowsscissors]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks for the tag @venhedish dont mind if I do darlin'! Loved reading your answers too!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

17 and I started May 2020

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

84,430! Sooooo close to that 100k milestone I just need to get off my writing hiatus since I have a beefy one shot WIP and a couple kink-meme prompt fills started that will get me to the finish line!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3/as an adult, just Supernatural.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well Jung – This was my first and I’m still super surprised it took off so well considering all the head-hopping. I also hadn’t written fiction since high school so it’s pretty technically rough!

I Can’t Forget the Time and Place Where We Just Met – Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned double amnesia fic! This was a SPN Masquerade fill and it was super fun to write!

Kiss the Cook – Another SPN Masquerade fill inspired by Dean in an apron in S15. Kitchen fucking is fun fucking!

Iodine and Stitches – 3/5 SPN Masquerade fills that I did fall 2020. Seriously such a fun event to participate in I cant recommend it enough. This is one my only fics with a serious tone throughout which is tough for this clown.

Double Jeopardy – Written for my buddy after finding out she has an intelligence kink! Cut to us giggling about Sam losing his damn mind when he plays Jeopardy with clever Dean!

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Listen…I can’t fully express how much comments give me LIFE! I want to know what you liked about my silly musings, I want to know your fav part, I want to know that I gave you a boner! I'll take a button smash, I'll take an emoticon. Anything, everything! I make a point to always respond back to show my appreciation for people taking time out of their day to make my day.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Without a shadow of a doubt Yesterday Don’t Matter if It’s Gone about what would happen if Sam and Dean hooked up during Mystery Spot and exacerbated Sam’s downward spiral during the months of Tuesdays. I write a lot of humour and this sucker is humourless PLUS has an unhappy ending! Weeee!

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Never have but not opposed to the idea.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, I’ve been pretty fortunate but I also write pretty tame shit. So if I start dabbling more in the archive warnings it may change. I do have a fun multichap wincestiel non-con WIP in the works 😈

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

AHAHAHAHAHA I’d say a good 90-95% of my 84k wordcount is smut! All M/M all explicit! Fun times over at Casa Scissors 😏. I do have some upcoming stuff that’s more plot heavy though which I’m looking forward to.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I fucking hope not that would be a big bummer.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! And as a noob I had to pinch myself, it still fucking blows my mind! A lovely Ao3 user Yigelulu translated I Can’t Forget the Time and Place Where We Just Met into Chinese. It was so incredibly cool to see my words in another language and a great honour that they liked my fic enough to put in all that work!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yup! Turn Your Head and Cough with my budbud Wearingdeantoprom. Dean gets his prostate rubbed for the first time at the doctors office.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

Wincest wincest all the wincest! My brain is infected and there is no cure! I am a pro-shipper though ship and let ship my dudes. I also dabble in wincestiel and LOVE any combination of winkline and may write it one day. I don’t really read much from other fandoms. I’ve read some George/Fred (I like brother fucking ok?) and I love me some Jess Mariano/Dean Forester over in the Gilmore Girls camp (the perfect enemies to lovers) but its unfortunately such a small ship. Any souls reading this who like those ships, please drop any recs into my box!

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Anything I am passionate about I will finish. I’ve only killed one thing because I got bored with it but I posted my fav part for a fic challenge. I hate not having something to show for my spent time (I know it's a hobby but it's the principle damnit!) and I hate unfinished things. Those damn little ao3 red circles haunt me 🚫

16) What are your writing strengths?

Christ uhhh I’ll say I’m most consistently praised in comments for my dialogue and it’s what always flows the smoothest for me. I think my humour is also a strength, it comes very naturally when I write which is why I have a hard time keeping it out of my fics! Times are tough I just wanna make y’all giggle ok?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Frankly, my greatest weakness is that I don’t take it seriously enough to look at my past writing critically for improvement. I also write (non-fiction) for my job and had extensive training to do so, so when its for this hobby I honestly whip it out, edit a couple times, and slap it up ‘good enough’ styles and I don’t go back to re-read once posted. I think if I looked back, I could see lots of opportunities for improvement and could go from a fine writer to a good writer. I’d also say that I’ve written pretty fun fluffy cracky smutty stuff so I guess another weakness is a lack of depth of plot and subject matter. I do want to explore this stuff more though.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

My concern is if you don’t speak the language fluently, then native speakers reading your fic might feel a big disconnect if you get colloquialisms and euphemism etc. incorrect. It could take them out of your fic if its not authentic enough. I don’t speak any other language fluently so it would END BADLY. I can speak and read French VERY POORLY and that’s it so no, I will never write in another language unless its jibberish I invented myself!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The only fanfic I wrote before SPN last year was a handful of super cracky, gen Gundam Wing fanfiction in high school!! They are on a broken USB stick which kills me I want to read them so badly! All my other creative writing was original fiction mainly horror/thrillers. I stopped when I started my undergrad cause...that shit is a lot of work yo.

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

My first love is my first baby Well Jung. I love the plot, I love the humour in it, I love the heart, and it’s still some of my fav sex I’ve written. And the title makes me giggle too who doesn’t love a bad pun? I'm so thrilled it was so successful but it would still be my favourite even if 3 people read it. It made me rediscover writing as a hobby and helped me explore this wonderful (yet insane) fandom. I love all my babies and I even think the writing is stronger in other fics, but he will always be #1 in my heart.

OK this was fun I love talking about fic writing! If any of you read my stuff and want to know more, hit me with an ask; I love making new frans! Tagging @oddsocksandstuff @samanddeaninpanties @raidens-realm I think my other writer mutuals have been tagged by Ven!

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 8

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: First day on the job.

Previous chapter here

------------------------ You received a text message at around 8 am telling you the car had arrived to take you to BigHit. Your aunt had already left for work and took your sister and niece along with her. Your brother had left hours ago so there was no big “goodbye” or anything. You took a look around the small apartment and sighed. It had been really nice of your aunt to take the three of you in. You hoped that you had made the right decision. You put on your backpack, grabbed your suitcases, and headed out the door.

The car was easy to spot. Your apartment complex was not fancy so there weren’t usually vehicles with chauffeurs waiting out front. The tall man waved at you, “ Ms. [Y/L/N]?’ he asked.

You nodded and he walked over to take your bags. “You don’t have to do that,” you politely declined.

“I insist ma’am.” He responded and put the suitcases in the trunk. He moved over and opened the door for you. Fancy. 

“Thank you,” you said as you sat your backpack down on the seat and slid in. This was a definite improvement over the bus or walking, you thought as the car began to head towards the middle of the city.  After a short drive the car pulled into what you assumed was the back entrance of the building and down a ramp into an underground garage. The driver scanned a badge at an outer gate and then had to show an id card at a second guard station a few meters further. Wow, security around here was tight, you thought. Good. 

The driver pulled up next to an elevator and got your bags out. “Alright miss, I assume you’ll have messages about where to go next. Take care.”

“Thank you!” You awkwardly waved as you rolled your bags next to the elevator and took out your phone.

NJ: When you get here, head to the 18th floor and someone will assist you.

Ok. You stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button. Your breathing had started to increase. You found yourself suddenly nervous, remembering that you were starting a new job today, and moving in somewhere new, and you were supposed to marry some basically random dude. Deep breaths. You should have refilled your prescription, you found yourself thinking as you started to become dizzy. Fortunately for you, the doors to the elevator opened and a person got on, pulling you out of your panic attack. 

“Hey! Moving in?” The voice was clear and cute. You looked up. It belonged to a girl either younger than you or with a better skin care routine.

“Oh, yeah. It’s my first day.” You added shyly.

“Nice to meet you!” She bowed politely. “My name is Alice. I moved in last year around this time.” She smiled. 

“[Y/N], it’s nice to meet you as well,” you returned.

“I’m a make-up artist.” She added.

“Oh, how fun. I suck at make-up.” You said before you could stop yourself. 

She laughed. “I don’t know, I think you did a pretty good job for a more natural look,” She said while assessing your face. The elevator dinged at the 14th floor. “This is me. I hope I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, thanks!” You said, grateful for the distraction. A few seconds later, you arrived at your floor.  You stepped off and found yourself in a very fancy hallway.  It looked like it belonged in a luxury hotel.It was very different from the floors you had seen so far. You scanned the hallway and saw a man in a checkered suit sitting on a chair, leaned over and looking at his phone. You checked your phone again, no new messages. You cleared your throat slightly, unsure if maybe Namjoon had mis-typed the floor or something.

The man in the chair looked up, “Oh. Hello there,” he smiled and stood up. “Jung Hoseok at your service.” He quickly walked over and put out his hand. His suit was quite loud, but it worked on him. 

“Hi. [Y/N]. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh. This will be fantastic. Come with me.” He turned before you could ask him what he was talking about. You grabbed your bags and followed.  He walked quickly as though he was on a mission. You didn’t see any other doors as you followed him.

“Alright, you are in unit 1802. Here is your key card.” He stopped in front of a door and handed you a key fob. “Get settled in. Get cleaned up. The rest of your schedule should be in the App. Security is expecting you in 45 minutes to get your badge. Good luck!” He smiled and turned away quickly, chuckling to himself.

You stood there confused for a minute. What the hell kind of dorms were these? You shook your head and swiped the card. You were expecting a small foyer that would be covered in other people’s shoes. Instead you immediately noticed how quiet the space was and were greeted by a large sunken room with benches lining the perimeter. You stepped down into it, pulling your suitcases behind you. There were a few pairs of shoes neatly stored under the seats. You slipped yours off as well and left your two large bags in the foyer. As you walked further into the apartment,  it quickly became clear to you this was no ordinary dorm. 

The place was massive with gleaming marble floors and glass windows running along the entire length of the large living room. On the left side of the living room was a fireplace, situated next to a large staircase heading up to a loft area. A kitchen was to your right. A few bowls and cups sat in a drying rack. A rice cooker was on. Other than that, there were no indications that people actually lived here.

"Hello?" you called into the space. The living room was sparsely furnished with a couch, coffee table, and TV. You walked through the living room and down a hallway. You found a bathroom, an empty room, and a bedroom. The bedroom had nothing other than a bed, night stand, and wardrobe. You furrowed your brow. Was this your room? Was the empty one yours? Ugh. You imagined Namjoon smirking at you as you walked back into the living room. 

You were looking down at your phone as you entered and paused only because you heard a slight dragging sound. You looked up and saw Mr. Min wearing only grey boxer shorts and shuffling towards the kitchen. His body was lean and pale and he had the tiniest bit of a tummy and wow you felt like a pervert all of a sudden. 

Your face grew red and you didn't know if you should say something or slowly back down the hallway or run for the exit to never return. Unfortunately you didn't get a chance to decide. Yoongi looked over at you. He slowly blinked his eyes as though trying to assess if you were really there or not. "Why the hell are you here?" he asked, his voice deep and gravelly like he had just woken up. 

Your mouth gaped open as though speaking was a new skill. "Umm… I am. I am so sorry. Mr Jung gave me a key and told me I would be staying here." You averted your eyes from his half-naked body, slightly surprised that he didn't seem to be bothered by that at all. 

Yoongi scratched his head, fluffing his hair and let out something like a growling sound. He picked up a remote from the kitchen counter and hit a button, causing the curtains to close halfway and darken the living room. 

"I'm sorry if there's been some sort or mix-up." You tried not to stare. "I'm supposed to get down to security for my badge. I'll talk to Namjoon and get this straightened out, ok?"  You heard a noncommittal grunt and the refrigerator open and a drink tab being popped. You looked over to see Yoongi pounding an iced coffee. He sat it down on the counter and looked at you. You did your best to maintain eye contact. 

"Want one? " He asked. 

'Uh yeah sure." you walked closer still trying to not check him out. 

He pulled another drink out of the fridge and handed it to you. It had a picture of V on it, causing you to laugh. These fucking models were everywhere. 

"Don't worry. I'll kill Namjoon and Hobi myself. You can leave your bags here for now." He said, grabbing his can of coffee he headed out of the kitchen and up the staircase. You stared at him the entire time while sipping the coffee. There's no harm in looking at your future husband you laughed at yourself at how weird this fucking thing was. 

---

You refreshed your make-up in the bathroom before leaving the apartment and then opened the BigHit App to see where the security office was. The building was massive and had its own gym and grocery store. Jesus.  

You exited the elevator and saw Namjoon waiting in a chair. "Oh, so you're still alive?" you asked. 

"Funny. I was going to say the same thing to you." He countered, standing up. "Are your new living quarters acceptable?" 

Your jaw dropped. "It seems like you dropped me into Mr. Mins house" you whispered, looking around. "I don't see how that's very discreet at all. And it seemed like he was surprised by it as well." 

Namjoon shrugged. "Eh it can't be helped. You two will eventually live together anyways right? Why make you move twice? And besides, only Jin lives on that floor and he thinks it's hilarious. He doesn't know about the dating thing but he does think having Yoongi live with his assistant is some kdrama level shit."

You rolled your eyes. *Yeah well Yoongi hates it. You should have told him first." 

"Yoongi hates everything I do so I don't really care. Let's get your badge ready and then you have to start posting. First day on the job selfie, tweet, whatever it is you kids do these days." 

You rolled your eyes at him, "I'm older than you." 

"To the security office Noona! Jesus why didn't you do your make-up? This badge has to be worn at all times." 

"I did do my make-up today, asshole," you responded as the two of you walked around the corner to the security office. He opened the door and ushered you in. 

"Gentleman, here is Ms. [Y/L/N] ready for her badge and photo." Namjoon plastered on his smile, causing you to scowl. 

The men walked you through another set of paperwork, fingerprints, and a photo. Twenty minutes later you had a fancy security badge clipped to your skirt. 

"Stay out of trouble. Stay on top of the App. If you need anything text Jimin. And start posting" Namjoon said, exiting the security office. He headed in front of you and around the corner,suddenly stopping. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You heard Yoongi's voice. It sounded like his voice but you hadn't heard him get angry yet. 

"Not now Yoongi, I have a meeting in 15 minutes." Namjoon sighed. 

"You just dropped a girl into my house without telling me and think I'm not going to have something to say about it?" 

"You knew she was starting today. You agreed that the two of you were going through with all of this. What did you think that meant? Huh?" Namjoon said, almost bored.

"Why don't I get a say in any of this?" Yoongi raised his voice, exasperated. 

"You did. You picked her." Namjoon said calmly as he pushed the up button on the elevator. 

"This is such bullshit!" he yelled. You walked around the corner, surprising him. 

The elevator for Namjoon arrived and he got on it, not bothering to look back. 

You walked closer to Yoongi. "Hey. I'm sorry this was a surprise for you. It was to me too. I thought I would be in a dorm with a bunch of other girls." You gave him a sympathetic look. 

He took off his hat and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry it's not you. It's just...ughhh…" He put the hat back on.

"Really. It's fine. It seems like Namjoon isn't interested in our opinions though, huh? I'm a good roommate. I'm quiet and I clean up after myself. And I can cook." 

Yoongi wasn’t angry at you, so his feelings had morphed into pouting at this point. "It's fine I put your bags in the guest bedroom." He pushed a button on the elevator. He sighed 

"Thanks Yoongi." you said, standing next to him. 

“And I can cook too. So don’t think that’s part of your job or anything.”

“Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t cook for you,” You teased as the doors opened up. You were surprised to see him blushing. He hit the button for the 12th floor, keeping his head down the entire way.  NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan  @firefairy1  @cuteipat  @sugaslittlekookies  @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny

[butmakeitgayblog]

“ I hope you like the new chapter “?? You kidding right

Cuzzz believe me dude.. we will read it with PLeasUrE! I mean come on Demon!lexa???

God i’m so excited, and I’m excited more that you said it will be a LONG chapter! Awesome.

Anyway i’m waiting the pain and pleasure in this story that i lovvee.

Ps : you promised us for 😆sneak peek 😆just a reminder don’t say I didn’t remember 🏃🏻‍♀️

Oh yeah you're totally right. And yeah it's now over 11k and I still have probably at least, at 👏 the 👏 least 👏, another 6k to go. But I'm betting more like 8k. Heyo ok anyway, happy last day of pride! Cheers to us queers 🍾🥂🏳️‍🌈

Snippet for chapter 8 demon au, forgive mistakes it's unedited and might change a bit between now and posting

Also go give love to sassymajesty it's her birthday today

/////////////

"Oh my God."

"You're very bad, Ms. Griffin."

She could only whine in agreement. 

"Look at you. You're not supposed to be enjoying this this much."

Clarke clenched down at the loud slap to her ass. She hissed at the sting of it, rocking her hips on the silicon that pumped into her from behind. 

Hands gripped at her waist and pulled her back into each rapid jog of hips, the clap of skin on skin ringing in her ears. Forehead pressed to the cool plastic of an industrial copier, she groaned and shook when the punishing rhythm quieted enough for her to breathe as sharp snaps of the strap slowed to deep, rolling thrusts. 

Clarke arched at the feel of a hand smoothing up her spine to wind into the sweat sodden hair clinging to her neck. At a gentle tug, Clarke moaned and let herself be guided up, using the palms of her hands to support the weight of a warm body draping against her.

"Still good?"

Half delirious with a laugh and wiggling to get back the friction she had lost, Clarke felt herself dripping at the warm breath in her ear. "Mhm. Just fuck me, Lex."

"I think you mean 'Ms. D'Angelo," Lexa whispered, nipping at the fleshy skin of her lobe. "Remember, now. We keep things professional at the office..."

Clarke smiled to herself, biting her lip as she envisioned herself being pushed face-down back onto the copier. She checked her watch and glanced at the door, tapping her foot alongside the whirs of its rhythmic back and forth blinding neon light.

She thought of exactly how good Lexa's ass looked bound in buckles and strips of leather. How the harness they'd gotten the week prior sat in just the right way that it accentuated the lovely bubble-esque quality that made it all the more kissable. 

Or biteable. 

It really just depended on her mood. 

A few solid raps sounded through the door as Clarke leaned back on the table beside the copier, a satisfied grin stretching across her face as she chirped a bright, 'Come in.'

The door opened and then slammed shut in a flurry of motion as a wild wave of chestnut slungshot into the room. Clarke let out a surprised yelp of laughter as the small space was crossed in two giant strides and hands cupped her face, pulling her into a messy kiss. 

Lexa's groan was loud enough that Clarke worried for a moment that someone might hear. But the thought fell away just as quickly when fingers trailed to Clarke's hips, squeezing tightly and lifting her onto the table. 

Clarke wrapped her legs around the waist that pressed into her, thanking last night's self for selecting such a forgiving dress.

"You… are driving... me crazy," Lexa breathed between kisses, pulling away just often enough to let fresh oxygen into Clarke's lungs. "What are you doing in here?"

"Making copies," Clarke smartly shrugged as dark eyes glistened in the low light. 

"I am with a client," Lexa said with a needy sigh, resting her head against Clarke's as her hands mindlessly caressed thighs, hips, and chest. "A client and his father."

Clarke burst out in a poorly stiffled laugh. "Oh shit. My bad."

"Fuck, gorgeous," Lexa breathed, pulling Clarke's hips to the edge of the table and rocking onto her. "You are so bad."

A low moan rumbled through Clarke's chest as the words sparked fresh visions of her deviant daydream. 

"What?" Lexa asked with dark eyes and an excited hum. 

"Just something I was thinking about before," Clarke said, brushing a few curls from Lexa's face before letting her arms rest over her shoulders. 

"And what were you thinking about?"

"You."

"Well that's certainly a relief," Lexa smirked as she peppered kisses across the dip of Clarke's chest. "It'd be awful for my ego if you were in here making me wet while thinking about someone else."

Clarke just grinned, sifting her fingers through the fine hairs that sat on the nape of Lexa's neck. "I thought that might get your attention."

"What has gotten into you today?"

"Boring day. Kept looking at those pictures you sent the other week. Wanted to kiss... Wanted to see you in this shirt again. Take your pick," Clarke said as she pulled Lexa back onto her lips. She swallowed Lexa's sigh and licked into her mouth only to have Lexa twist away with a wet pop. 

"I have a client sitting in my office waiting to sign a contract."

"I can be quick."

"I don't want quick," Lexa shook her head as she grabbed Clarke's wandering hand that had been snaking its way under the belt of her skirt. "Let me finish this and we can take lunch right after. Go back to my place--"

"You have court at 1," Clarke sighed, deflating on the spot on the table. 

"Fuck." Lexa hissed the curse as her eyes screwed moment for a minute, biting her lips as they popped back open a second later. Her breath picked up as she looked hungrily over the expanse of Clarke's body, hands squeezing once more at the swell of Clarke's thighs. "Okay… Okay. Come with me."

"What?" Clarke asked as Lexa took her hand and quite literally dragged her off the table. 

Lexa leaned around her and grabbed a fresh pen from a box at random before tugging them toward the door. "Come with me to my office. We can pick this up when they leave. I'll just say I need a witness for the signing or something."

Clarke frowned as Lexa dropped her hand and flung the door open. "Uh. But you don't."

"Well they don't know that," Lexa whispered as she waved for Clarke to keep up with her pace toward her office. 

"You're serious?"

"Yes. You stand there and look… God," Lexa swallowed as they pulled to a stop just outside her office door, eyes dipping down to the hint of cleavage that peeked out of Clarke's dress, "just like that. And then you conveniently remind me I have court in ten minutes so I can get them the hell out."

Before Clarke put up any sort of protest, Lexa turned the knob and glided back into her office with a flourish. 

"Here we go," she announced, holding up the new pen in one hand and ushering Clarke inside by the small of her back with the other. "This is Ms. Griffin, a legal secretary here in the office and she'll be helping us today."

"I just wanna get this over with."

"Don't we all," Lexa sighed with a strained smile as she walked around her desk, leaving Clarke to stand awkwardly in the center of the room. "Now, you just sign these, and then Ms. Griffin and I will handle the rest. Sound good?"

A grunt was Lexa's only answer as she handed the pen over and pushed the stack of papers under his nose, Clarke reigning in a grin at the roll of her eyes. But still, Clarke waited patiently, hands idly picking at the hem of her blazer as she took in the pair sat in front of her. 

A boy no older than possibly 17 sat hunched over and small to her left. Sandy hair buzzed in a high and tight cut and clothes starched to within an inch of their life, he looked as though he'd be more at home in a military school than in the confines of their humble law office. He didn't move, barely breathed through the scratching sound of his father's writing as Clarke watched him all but sink through the seat of his chair. 

"You better thank your lucky stars this lady is willing to do this for you."

The low growl of words had Clarke frowning, shifting her eyes to the older man scribbling furiously through the stack of papers. His shoulders flexed with each rough flip of a page, his muscular body broad and tall enough Clarke wondered if he'd fit through the door without ducking. 

"The pleasure's all mine," Lexa waved him off when the boy tipped his head lower and stayed quiet. "He's a good kid. Just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Well that's the fuckin' problem, now isn't it," the man snapped as his head swiveled around to stare at his son.

And Clarke's stomach bottomed out at the sight.

The man from the street. 

The temperature of the air inched upward as Clarke's eyes shot to Lexa, only to find her already looking back. A pleased smile played at her lips as a perfectly trimmed brow flicked upward. Clarke worked to control her breathing, jaw locked and hands balling full of the hem of her blazer as she tried to parcel out exactly what the hell Lexa was up to. 

She knew Lexa always had her reasonings for doing what she did. 

Always had a plan.

But fuck all if Clarke hadn't realized she was going to be a part of it. A damn courtesy heads up would've been nice. 

"-- which is exactly the problem with you, boy," the man kept going through Clarke's silent freakout. "You don't get it. You can't seem to get a single thing through that thick, useless lump you use a goddamn hat rack."

And with no warning, he reached out a hand and slapped the boy over the back of his head. 

"Mr. Trikru."

Lexa's voice echoed through the office, sharp and simmering with a quiet rage as they cut off his tirade. 

Clarke halted in place from where she'd taken a few stumbling steps forward, dropping her hands that'd whipped forward as though to forcefully pull him away from the child who'd barely flinched at the blow.

Lexa's hand was steady as she plucked her phone from its base. "Finish signing the papers. Now." Her tone left no room for argument, eye dark and glued to the man who threw a final glare at his son and went back to writing. 

A moment passed as Lexa murmured softly into her phone, holding up a finger when the last page was flipped and the pen tossed aside, before hanging up and folding her hands expectantly on her desk top. Clarke felt her chest rise and fall with a kind of confused and indignant rage because seriously what the hell was Lexa playing at?

Clarke nearly jumped at the tiny knock against the door, whirling around to see Raven's head pop through the opening. 

"We all done in here?" Raven asked, her mask of professionalism firmly in place. 

"Yes, we are. But I need to speak to Mr. Trikru for a moment alone," Lexa said with an easy smile, up and around the edge of her desk in just a few fluid steps. "Why don't you take this young man to the break room. Get him a snack or something."

Lexa all but yanked the kid up by his arm, ignoring how he tried to glance back at his father as she shuffled him toward the door. She coo'd a few pleasantries and assurances that it'd just take a moment, telling him to go crazy as she shoved a small fold of ones into Raven's hand and passed him off to her. 

Clarke took a measured step back when the hulking man rose from his seat as Lexa shut the door and flipped the lock. 

"What the hell are you doin'?" he thundered and crossed the office. 

He stopped short when Lexa turned on her heel, eyes black and lips stretched in that increasingly familiar sinister smile. 

"Teaching you some manners."

The sickly crack of her knuckles against his jaw made Clarke's stomach roll. She watched in stunned, horrified silence as Lexa punched him hard enough to send him reeling back. His knees buckled and he hit the ground with a dazed shake of his head. 

A fist wrapped in the collar of his shirt before glassy eyes could stop rolling in his head. Another punch split his lip. Another caused his head to whip painfully sideways. 

Lexa yanked him up by his shirt, slamming him into the wall beside the door. A growl vibrated through the thick air as her fingers wrapped around his neck and squeezed. 

"Lexa," Clarke exhaled, her entire body shaking so badly she wasn't sure if she could walk. 

But then she watched the hand clamped over his airway flex and lift him upward. His feet kicked uselessly and his eyes bulged from their sockets, his hands grasping and scrabbling at the locked arm holding him up.

Clarke's mind jumped into gear as his face became redder, his gasping more sporadic, his movements turning jerky and less desperate. She lurched forward, staring at the side of Lexa's face.

"Lex, let him go."

The growling only deepened. 

"Lexa, let go of him," she snapped, raising her chin when black eyes turned to her with a snarl. 

She licked her lips and steadied her breathing and said the exact first thing that popped into her head.

"You hate cleaning up messes at work."

The growling stuttered as Lexa's eyebrows furrowed together, her head tilting in obvious confusion. 

"You told me you hate cleaning up messes at the office," Clarke rushed out, grabbing onto the one thing that Lexa had ever really complained about and riding the thought process to hell and back. "If you kill him right now, think about what you're going to have to deal with. There's gonna be an upset kid. Everyone's gonna freak out. Ambulances, witness statements. A literal dead body in your goddamn office. Think about it."

Lexa stared at her for a long moment, her jaw ticking in annoyance though, thankfully, the growling had stopped. And then without pause, Lexa loosened her hold and let him drop.

He crumpled to the floor in front of them, hacking coughs racking his body and his hands moved to massage his neck. Lexa squatted down, elbows resting on her knees as she leaned into his face.

"I think you should thank your lucky stars this lady was willing to do this for you, Mr. Trikru," Lexa spat in a harsh whisper. "But make no mistake... I will be seeing you again."

/////////////

[snailsaalt]

my only text post here and its about morrigan and lilith being gay

i feel like i have to talk about it here. like twitter gets to hear about it from me all the time so they know all my thoughts on the matter but you guys are lucky so you dont hear me talk often on any of my blogs. i should ruin that!! unfortunately for u guys tumblr doesnt have a character limit either. anyways every so often i show my morrigan/lilith art in nondarks spaces and someone always goes “ouh wai i thought they were sisters!????” an d i have to explain how foolish they are and that they should learn the shitty fucked up lore with a 10000 plotholes (but its allowed to because its dope as hell) like. this is like the sailor moons cousins thing but people actually fucking believe theyre cousins. darkstalkers fans stay losing anyways heres a high res of this fruity ass png bingus with an e drew in the 90s  

i know its obvious that peopl who think theyre sibs just have never touched a ds game or looked at any official images ever but. i think they should because ds arts amazing but more importantly morrigan and lilith are little fruits. morrigsn a grape and lilith is cherry.

i hate ressurections artstyle + artist whitewashed anakaris and felicia + drew jedah without heels. but ykno. i will take my wins.ALSO LOL.. BUTT WINGS FAIL MOMENT THIR WINGS OIN THEIR BACK!!!!!!! anyways

the titty press on the window. the breath. morrigans gaze. the hand hold. cishet games have no fucking idea what theyre up against. gona talk about the actual game now

its so fucking gay. anyways im gona jus talk abou my hcs now i think jedah is jus liliths mom. hes v open abou his fave child bu they still make lilitha da spagheti.... also i think its funny cauds like.  i think u guys kno i ship jedemi which i could go over why in this post but this isnt ABOUT THEM. its about MORRIGAN. and MORRIGAN 2!!!!!!!!! back to what i was saying jedah being liliths mom but also marryign demitri would make him morrigans father in law.. but also... since jedah turned ozom into fetus of god ozom is related to all of them too????? lol. i just think jedah turning his enemies into his children is funny and no one talks about that enough. anyways i feel like a lot of people just see two women (or in this case demigirls i think they r both nb) being close and instantly think “ouh theyre so close theyre like sisters HEHE!!!” and like. its so obvious they explored eachothers bodies. like i dont hate u if u intepret their relationship that way like maybe im an iddy bit concerned abou how you view your siblings but whatever i wont think about it too hard i think people think its cute and funny dynamic or whatever and thats it but like. i also dont wana see that cause..... i simply do not ! :] anyways i constantly feel like a freak caus of that but i think i am a freak for different reasons thatre morally ok but legally bad but lets not talk about that lets talk about the satanic subtext. jesus obviouslly was inspired by jedah w/ the savior and the rapture and the betrayal (ozom didnt betray jedah with a kiss hes homophobic and also has no lips :’[) but ALSO!!!!!!! god made eve from a piece of adam. lilith was made from a piece of morrigan. lilith was made a demon for thinking that she was equal to adam, lilith believes shes morrigans equal and betrays jedah’s little utopia attempt. they choose a life of being gay with stupid fucking goth bimbo and hedonism instead of saving the world and they benefit from it... i dont think ive ever seen anyone talk about that at all an when i bring it up to the 8 other ds fans with rights theyre all like “ouh ive never thought about it like that!!!” i think people kinda just avoid looking at morrigan in a deep way in general even though shes one of if not the most important character and theres so much interesting stuff you can look into like her struggle to be herself and have fun or giving that up to make makai less of a shithole, her power being taken away in a society where power is EVERYTHING, her relationship with demitri going from “lol this dudes so fucking stupid and easy to make fun of” to “ew this rat fuck is trying to make me his mindcontrold servant because the only way he could possibly think of someone as anything positive is if theyre below him” i say that but people kinda avoid looking at ds lore in a deep way in general so yea. lol. ds turned me into the joker theres so much cool shit you can talk about but NOO most of the bs is porn boobs titty asscheek balls and NONE OF ITS EVEN GOOD. I SAID IT!!!!!! DESPITE WHAT THE SO CALLED “TOLERANT LEFT” MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT... like how makai is made out of gods corpse and no one knows how big it is and the fucking door that killed jedah also killed a fruit noble (his name is persimon the door kills fruits....) anyways i have a ds server ive never posted a link to here.... i’ll drop it in this post i guess https://discord.gg/wMBGrda theres probably a lot i forgot to talk about despite the fact i wrote so much LOL. anyways the servers mostly lore discussion or jokes but there are 2 people there that play the video game.... crazy ik.....

[chironshorseass]

ANNUAL WRITING SELF-EVALUATION

thanks melissa @estrangedlestrange for tagging me! ok *cracks knuckles* i guess we’re doing this

1. number of stories posted to ao3:

23……someone fucking restrain me pls

2. word count posted for the year:

165,511

i’m crying what is this😭😭😭😭😭😭

3. fandoms i wrote for:

pjo

4. pairings:

percy/annabeth

clarisse/silena

annabeth/reyna

poseidon/sally. (these are the main ones, i think)

5. story with the most…

kudos: Just Add Water

bookmarks: Just Add Water

comments: also Just Add Water el oh el

6. work i’m most proud of (and why):

it’s a tie between it feels so scary, getting old and the vine hanging over the door (both of them with titles taken by a lorde song💀) because i feel like i was so at peace with myself when i wrote them, and when i’m at peace with myself i just write like fjakdjasjsjsjsisnsk that bc i can’t stop and pure gold comes out <3 it’s a mix of nostalgia and pride of what i created. also they both have very specific aesthetics and Existential Themes that scream mari bc ofc they r my babies xxx

7. work i’m least proud of and why:

through the ruse i just feel like it’s a bit of a mess and i didn’t plan it properly nor did i make it interesting enough for me to keep going🤨 i really like the concept, though esp since during that time i kind of really wanted a bridgerton au. but like, i honestly don’t think i’m NOT proud of anything i’ve written (idk maybe) but that doesn’t mean i won’t cringe once in a while when i reread something i wrote lmaooo

8. share or describe a favorite review received:

there are plenty i’ve kept close to my heart but taylor miss @posallys gives the best reviews, and i’m still recovering from the one i got in the vine hanging over the door 😭😭😭 and this other one she wrote for the seaweed is always greener that had me dying eye-

also bonjobiggles idk if u have a tumblr but all ur comments are so sweet and gave me motivation to write more<3 like EXCUSE ME someone rereading my fic is just😭 also ash @skaterannabeth had me screaming crying after she left a comment on it feels so scary, getting old lov u <33 and how can i forget @jeanjacket-lesbian every time u comment my heart kinda goes like💗💗 one that had me sobbing tho was from an anon (for it feels so scary, getting old) bc wth how DARE u say such things and think it will be ok😭

9. time when writing was really, really hard:

i’d say most of the time but y’all will think i’m such a clown bc i literally have THIRTY works on ao3 and that is very much illegal but I SWEAR!!!! it’s so fuckin hard to write, like i feel like i can never finish things and my motivation comes and goes, and so does life so🤠🥲🥲

11. a favorite excerpt from your writing:

Their laughter carries on like music as the wind dances around its melody, drifting it up, up into the starry sky. (from it feels so scary, getting old haha typical😗)

tho i feel like anything from magnificently cursed bc i say so: But it was more than just the horror that connected them. In the vibrancy of Olympus, it felt like they were creating the beautiful moments, too. They’d become a luster that outshined the rust in their thread of life.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year:

dude i’ve improved so much it’s crazy. in 2020 when quarantine started and i also started writing fic it was like. my first time in a looong time of writing something in english and i had to search up so many words and shit but now…..it all comes like the tears of jesus istg lmaooo. i also feel like this year i really honed in my writing style, because in 2020 it was all over the place i’m sure, and now i can truly say that i have a specific way of writing (correct me if i’m wrong bc maybe it’s just me since m i’m a clown)

13. how do you hope to grow next year:

i’m copying annie bc i need to finish all my wips so i never write fic again i am BEGGING

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

clown car (my frens) bc coincidentally they are all amazing writers and i love them very much. syd @annabethsinvibilitycap tho u make me especially evil and give me the silly little motivation to go unhinged in my writing 😛 as for other motivations, i think reading other works, fanfic or books and hmmm when folklore and evermore came out it was over for me so 💃🏽 also when i started listening to mitski

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

when sally kinda contemplates life as she watches the trash fly around during august (the vine hanging over the door.) yeah that was hashtag me too😔✌️ but yeah if u mean existential dread and all that good stuff it’s taken from my real life <3 and mostly the beginning of purple pink skies was 100% taken from my life haha….

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

read lots of books lol i swear every time i do writing is so much easier bc im reminded of how words are supposed to um. work. and never write something you find slightly boring. just create the weirdest plot line or whatever, as long as it’s interesting to YOU and it’s fun to write for YOU and no one else.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) this year:

finishing any of my (existent) chapter fics bc i need them to stop haunting me in my sleep😭

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. (totally not required to do this y’all I always hate when things say you gotta do it):

@posallys @annabethsinvibilitycap @skaterannabeth and anyone who hasn’t done this feel free<33

[nightswithkookmin]

Hello Goldy 💜 So JK dint post for Jin and so does Tae. Both of them di t post for Jinins bday also. Whats going on here ? I dont understand if JK and Tae have been banned from posting on their boyfriends bday. As u can tell i am both Jikook and Taejin shipper. What do u think is happening or should i say not happening.

This topic...

Hold on, lemme put on my tinfoil hat:

I got nothing. Lol.

Secondly, aaaaah Tae Kook!

Lol. Tae Kook. The evil power duo of BTS, my favorite rageddy boogie men of ship street Avenue, PPP- pathological party poopers of Bangtan fantasyland- stomping on shipper's parade, putting commas in people's hopes and dreams. Y'all didn't get the memo? When we said y'all be snatching hearts, this is not the kind of horror heart snatching we was talking about! Y'all ratchet for this shit. Lol.

Someone give them the memo. Atatatatatat.

Lmho.

I mean for Jk, I've already speculated a few times- several times now, how I feel he's kind off been on a self assertive journey since late 2019 and coupled with a lot of things I felt was happening with him, Jimin and group around that period, that him not posting for the members' birthdays sort of make a lot of sense to me.

I've also speculated on what I felt was going on with Kook, RM and Tae around JM's birthday this year, so Tae not posting for JM also sort of made sense to me?

Tae missed Jimin's birthday as well. It would have been 'problematic' in today's social media climate if he posted for any body else within the group after that. It's the same with JK when he missed Jin's birthday last December- had he posted for anybody else, I'm afraid several trucks would have been sent to BigHit HQ demanding his head on a spike. Chileee.

Can't blame them though. Even the members themselves, during 2017 Festa, descended hard on JK for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others- they pay attention to these things, you know? Jin in his recent VLive had said he had been up waiting for texts and all- or something along the lines of that, and I'm pretty sure he pays attention to who posts what on their Twitter account on his birthday. Well we know Jimin does this too. Lol.

You don't need to be a mad scientist to figure out that one member posting for another and not the others would make the members feel some kind of way about it even if they don't say it out loud.

Frankly, like I said, I feel they set themselves up for this shit- miss one, miss them all or risk solo stans coming for your ass. That's how we roll on these fang gang streets. Lol.

But for Kook, I sort of felt his was deliberate- may be an impulsive decision at the time, but deliberate nonetheless. I mean he had all 24 hours post Jin's birthday to belate that shit- better late than never, but he didn't do that.

Whatever had transpired within that period- which I've speculated on in past posts, I feel that had pushed him to his breaking point and had incentivized him or propelled him to reel back, reevaluate his goals, intentions, purpose, calling- whatever you wanna call it, and eventually had embarked on a journey to reassert himself and take back control of his life all throughout 2020- until recent times...

- Y'all see Jikook's dynamics have flipped again post Jimin's birthday right? Clear your schedules. We gone talk. Soon. Muhahaha.

I don said, Jikook have/had been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group this year. And for Jk, that self assertion would come in the form of him putting up boundaries and reinforcing already existing boundaries among other things, which would in turn require him demanding and demonstrating his independence from anything and anyone he had relinquished his self autonomy to- prior to. In my opinion.

I'm gonna step on a few toes here and regurgitate, JK didn't just take a step back from his life, he took a step back from Jimin as well, in my opinion- I can literally hear temperatures rising. Chilee. Lmho.

It's easy to lose yourself in the process of loving someone. And when you love this person more than you love yourself, in the thick of love, under heavy public and peer scrutiny, where you are being told to change this and that about yourself everyday and everytime as a prerequisite for being able to love this person you want within a group; then you are bound to end up with nothing but the total eradication of who you are at your core or at least a drift away from your true self and the expressions of it... Sigh.

I mean all the, 'try not to be so possessive, he's our friend too' 'operation neutralize Jikook' 'chilee, don't lean too much into him, this is an award' 'I've got Jimin, restrain Kook' 'oh I think you stared too long here' 'look away' 'you got him a present, why didn't you get us any' 'is that your heart eyes?' 'Tuck it away' 'why do you film Jimin a lot?' 'use this person, not Jimin for your GCF if you want the clicks' 'GCF in Tokyo? How about OT7 in wherever mate?' - all these little tweaks and adjustments he's had to make to his personality and his expressions of self in order to hide his relationship within the group climaxes honestly. In my opinion. And late 2019 to me was that peak for JK. Again, in my opinion.

Changes like these don't come drastically. They creep up on you. Its slippery slope till you're caught knee deep in the mud. For instance, notice when the members complained about him not caring for them because he hadn't presented them with gifts like he did Jimin, he had agreed immediately to give them presents in the future in order to not answer to their question of why he had chosen to give just Jimin a present. That compromise to me was one of the early signs of him losing his authenticity. In my opinion.

Jimin and the members were quick to point out that he didn't have to do that because giving and gifting were not obligations and honestly they were right. He doesn't have to do things if he doesn't want to.

That's the paradox of Jungkook. He does the things he wants to do without shame and he is fearless and unapologetic about it. But you see, he is also often very passive when it comes to the things he doesn't want to do and would hesitate in insisting on his boundaries until he is pushed to his limits- from my observation of his interactions with the members and I think Suga and RM have talked about this too.

A classic example of this is his conversation with Jimin about their friendship- when Jimin said they were in between love and friends. His hesitation was a sign he was uncomfortable with that description but he didn't assert himself over it.

Another example would be Jimin saying during their log that he was taking a liking to JK- JK didn't react as much but JM turning to ask him if he was ok with him saying things like that was a sign they had had the talk about 'boundaries.'

JK is a very assertive person but his position as the youngest within the group places a lot of restrictions on his assertiveness I feel.

We talk a lot about Jimin being Kumbaya and sacrificing a lot of their personal happiness for the good of the group- well, I've been talking. Y'all don't say shit much- fuxking lurkers 😒 y'all suck. Lol. [Delete before you post, you idiot. They don't know you like that]

Anywho, we often talk about Jimin in this context but we- by we, I mean I, don't talk enough about all the ways JK often sacrifices his authenticity for the Kumbaya of the group as well. But unlike Jimin, I feel JK does it so he can keep his glass closet- fucking whippidy whip whipped. Lol.

And it's crazy because that sacrifice he makes of his true feelings and it's expression is what often leads people to question whether he acts exclusively with JM at all.

Often I hear shippers complain about how he did this with Jimin but he did similar thing with another member- listen, if you've heard JK sigh upon seeing RM imitating his mannerisms to try to neutralize his nonverbal gestures around Jimin, you'd understand what exclusivity means for him.

And when, you think about that he had to apologize to and explain himself for choosing to wear his man's bag over another member- it's not hard to see where his authentic self began to erode- It started from the moment the apologies begun. Never apologize for who you are- class dismissed. Lol.

Then he goes on to talk about losing his passions for his GCFs, his music- this is a person everyone within the group had said is or was the most passionate member within the group... You gotta wonder where it all went wrong. Know what I mean? Come on work me. I'm writing this at 2am. Lol.

I think Jimin was right when he said giving should never be a task. You should give from your heart and from your own free will. Not for show, and certainly not to please anyone.

Wishing a member a happy birthday should never be a duty, task or obligation- especially when such moments and expressions of it has become performative over the years rather than as true expressions of the love and affections they have for eachother- ok, I'm dozing off now. Lmho.

I mean let's face it, posting on Twitter for eachother has become more of a culture and an established tradition within the group that sentimental members within the group hold on to.

The birthday twitter post has been hijacked and lowkey/highkey advances the OT7 kumbaya agenda BigHit is bent on pushing and sells the BTS bromance fantasy to us rather than an actual representation of their love for eachother. In my opinion. I could be wrong about this.

JK asserting himself would mean him choosing not to participate in expressions that to him are performative, shallow and lacks depth whatsoever.

I know what you are gonna say- but but Jimin's birthday. But but but nothing. Lol. I have said I felt he was going to post for Jimin's birthday. Dude geared up for it with the 5/8 and everything.

And given as he's been on a journey to do the things he wants to and to pursue meaning in his expressions of self within the group, I feel and I believe he believes wishing his man a happy birthday on social is meaningful- Confirmation bias this shit. Lol.

Not that the act itself is meaningful, but that the act holds meaning to Jimin. I think I've talked extensively about Jimin and how important his birthday is to him. The only reason I feel he wouldn't or didn't post for him was if Jimin had asked him not to- which I believe he did. Posting for Jimin would have been tantamount to outing their relationship gangster style. Lol.

And we all know how the members feel about that. Smirk.

So no, I don't think he's been banned from posting for his man's birthday. I think this is him deciding not to partake in performative expressions of love- perhaps because that has never been him?

I don't know for Tae's Journey. His decision not to post feels very random to me. Who knows, he and JK have been talking a lot lately it seems and getting closer post Sope. So if you ask me, this perhaps is him taking a page out of JK's self help book and pursuing that authenticity of self expressions I've talked about?

I mean he did do awesome things for Jin's birthday so I don't think we can complain much. Getting his friends to wish Jin a happy birthday certainly pulls weight over a second post on Twitter. Jin got a birthday party with the members, RM had the same.....

The thing that bothers me and my friends over here about Jikook's incident is the lack of closure after that traumatizing experience.

With the others JK didn't post for, at least we got to see him in a VLive with them interacting and just giving us moments here and there. So even if he didn't post, we know he was with them and they shared the memory of that day together- which I feel is what we shippers want. For them to show eachother love- whatever way they express it.

With Jimin- Nada. Zero. Zilch. We got nothing my guy. Jimin didn't share any insight or give any details remotely resembling closure for us. We were hoping for a bangtan bomb or Episode but nothing so far. I hate it here.

We didn't get to see JK showing the love we know he feels for Jimin- he's proven time and again he loves that man. We didn't get to see them share the memories of that day together. Not even through narration- Jimin, you sonova bish! Lol.

Would I ever move on from that incident? No.

Do I want to move on from that incident- chileee I've been trying. It would haunt me for the rest of my Jikook life. Lol. I still get get nightmares thinking about it and it's Christmas. Sigh.

I think we would have to observe rather than anticipate how they choose to express and communicate their love for one another- especially Jikook and by extension Taejin- chilee Anon, I respect your hustle. Lol.

I don't blame you though. I mean sometimes Jin be looking like he wants to gobb-ok

What was your question again? Lol. I hope I answered it. Chilee. Keep supporting Jikook.

Signed,

GOLDY