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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE EMO CHILD, NICO DI ANGELO. YOU ARE A YEAR OLDER NOW AND MANY DECADES OLDER THAN YOUR FRIENDS BUT YOUR STILL SHORTER-

im sorry. i didn’t word that right. have a happy birthday short king-

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Percy: NO ANNABETH! the best way to kill the spiders is kill them with kindness-

(Annabeth takes out a a knife named Kindness)

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When you think about it, Percy killed a bunch of cyclops during the OG pjo series. And put that into perspective already knowing Percy is related to Tyson. Percy murdered his half brothers—in very cold blood

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Other various fandoms: Damn these ships suck. Where are these even legit when these characters don’t have any chemistry-

PJO fandom literally shipping someone with a BRICK

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The seven owning a pet:

Leo: hereeeeeee Valdez jr—

Percy: Valdez jr? I thought we named the cat Bluey

Piper: Since when did we own a cat?

Jason: Wait there’s a cat on the Argo—

Hazel: it’s probably just scared. After all, we g ET attacked nearly everyday

Annabeth: GUYS I FOUND THE CAT-

Cat: meowwwww

Annabeth: wait where’s Frank?

(Cat turns into Frank)

Frank: HOW DID YOU GUYS MISTAKE ME FOR A CAT-

Percy: wait if your here, as the cat, where’s Bluey?

(Cat walks in and frickin LEVITATES)

Leo: WHAT THE FUC-

Annabeth: WHEN WAS JAPANESE MYTHS REAL-

Frank: WHAT THE HELLS HAPPENING-

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A kid after reading Percy Jackson:

Kid: hmmmmm I think I’m magical enough

(The kid walks to the shower and gets the water running)

(The kid sticks their hand in the water and then takes it out)

Kid: OMG THE WATER IS COMING FROM MY HANDS

Kid: MOM YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO

Mom: FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH POSEIDON—

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hi i bet you cant guess whos asking

how is your day

you must go eat oreo mini cupcakes theyre delicious 5 stars would reccommend (be warned i dont hv autocorrect on so idk if i spelt reccommend right- it looks really wrong?!?!)

REPLY TO THIS ASK AND TELL ME WHO YOU THINK IS ASKING TYSMWXYZ <3

Jinx—BRO I KNOW ITS YOU. YOU WRITE IN ALL LOWER CASE, YOU MUNCH ON OREOS, AND U DONT HV AUTOCORRECT

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Quick theory here:

Keefe and all the other elves wayyyyyyy better looking than average humans. While Keefe was in the Forbidden Cities, he must’ve got swarmed with human girls asking him on dates and feral Nico di Angelo’s trying to claim him as their Will Solace.

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Haha I hv 15 and yes, I do have a mix of friends and traitors. ILL SEE U IN HELL KIDDOS

Tag game!

500th post so why not start a tag game :D

Your battery percentage is the number of friends you have. How popular are you?

1-10 ok woah go charge your phone

you don’t have many friends because you’re too cool for most people :D

11-25 why have you been on your phone this long go outside

you have a good mix of friends and bitches. Respect.

26-50 your fine for a day or so

you are probably in 3+ friend groups but only in 2 group chats

51-75 congratulations on not forgetting to charge your phone last night

Woah there. Slow down on the friends- your phone might break from all the numbers you text. Good luck- you’re going to need it.

76-99 …wow! Someone who actually charges their phone- rare :3

you don’t know the names of all your friends and make 3 more everywhere you go.

100 you are a living god.

Wow- didn’t know this was possible. Round of applause to the amazing Dee Ity! (What a strange name)

npt:

@cuethesolareclipse13 @happilynerdyzombie @dayz72 @wisegirl42 @koryphaea

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Haha what if we got a blond Nico for the pjo tv series—

The fandom: NO. WE DO NOT ACCEPT YOUR OFFER. YOUR REQUEST TO TURN OUR BELOVED ITALIAN WALL LIZARD INTO A SUNSHINE MAN IS DENIED

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Technically, if Chiron calls Percy and the other demigods his kids, he not wrong. Kronos has some kids which are Chiron and the gods. Then, Percy is born. So that would make Chiron an uncle. It took me 3 years to figure it out-

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Normal demigods on a quest:

Okay guys it’s been a few days and we’ve completed the quest.

Percy, Annabeth, Grover:

Blow up a bus

Gets sidetracked

Eat burgers

Almost gets killed

Sleep in the woods

Meets a pink poodle

Travel

Visit the St. Louis Arch

Almost gets killed

Almost falls to death

Almost drowns to death

Meets a God

Eats cheeseburgers

Visits a water park

Almost gets killed

Steals merchandise

Ride with a zebra

Plays arcade games

Spend five days in a hotel

Take a taxi

Spend lotus money

Walk around

Watch smelly Gabe on television

Go to a waterbed store

Almost gets killed

Walks to the underworld

Say you drowned in a bath tub

Get in a boat ride

Walk past the river styx

Trick Cerberus

Play fetch

Go through hell’s security

Almost gets killed

Pass through security ghouls

Watch visible torture

See the furies

Walk some more

Almost get captured in hell

Walk past gardens

See hades’s Palace

Find out the truth

Talk to hades

(Is it finished? NOPE)

ALMOST GETS KILLED BY A SCORPION

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Who will win

Kronos: the strongest titan and the father to the gods

Percy: dyslexic 16 year old boy with ADHD and a pen

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Wait, if someone consumed sea water, wouldn’t Percy be able to control them-

Percy as waiter: here is your lovely sea- I mean tap water sir

Octavian: why thank you very sketchy looking server-

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Percy: waitttttt how did you know I was the son of Poseidon?

(Also percy)

Percy: I like BLUE food

Percy: I like the BEACH

Percy: I blew up the toilet with WATER on my first day at camp

Percy: I HEAL when water touches me

Percy: I have the most dazzling SEA green eyes

Percy: I made a fountain grab my bully

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Percy ‘I can only remember my beautiful and amazing girlfriend at camp Jupiter’ Jackson : have we met

Nico ‘professional gaslighter’ di Angelo : uh totally not. Nope never seen you until today

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I can clearly imagine Paul’s relatives being so nice and friendly while in Percy’s family tree, we have an angry Zeus who will obliterate Percy if he even THINKS on going airborne