#ok anyway im gonna try to go to the gym today

[ichigosoju]

🐮

[todayisafridaynight]

psst for my stream regulars

How does the idea of me starting streams at like 1:30PM (EST) sound. i’ll still plan to run them to like 5:00PM (EST) but now its more definite it’ll actually end then opposed to accidentally going on until like. 7:30PM (EST)

Also im on mobile so i cant make a poll so you gotta let me know through like a comment or somethin ok ty

[phagodyke]

my god. new contender for most shite day at work this year so far

another morning another free bus journey..

[sommerregenjuniluft]

hi lune! i am sleepdeprived and i was thinking (which is already a bad idea when i'm well-rested) and i think you should call your music recs lune-y tunes or just lune's tunes, i think both are super cute and also pls tell me more about your gymbros prongsfoot.... what nefarious things do they get up to in the gym locker rooms?? also, does one of them complain about the protein shake and the other one is like "ohh lemme taste" and it just gets spat into his mouth?? how into sweat are they?? inquiring minds would like to know

AJAJKjkkakykyky HI MIL<3

lune-y tunes is such a good one im def gonna use that, although it will mainly consist of dominic fike, random german shit and then Maybe now and again something useful 🤓

i havent been thinking abt them for a while honestly but!! always ready to talk abojt them *clears throat*

(getting kinda smutty below here at some point)

so before they realize they are together and are allowed to…. kiss and stuff they def like shower together. like under One shower head. entirely nude, dicks bumping and they’re rock hard obv but neither acknowledges it because it’s normal for them anyways. super normal to get incredibly turned on my your very platonic friend. Then whenever one of them has like muscle cramps the other is INSTANTLY there to massage and kiss better and hold them. james whimpers so prettily sirius also gets bricked up. for james it’s sirius’ face, all contorted and in anguish and then esp when he starts relaxing again, james gets sooo flustered🤭 james also helps undress and dress sirius whenever he goes all noodle-y after arm day. sirius is the one with the protein bars in every bag and jacket and gym pants and james is the one prepping their shakes and meals.

so yes if sirius thinks something tastes funny he’s like ??jamie, did you do something different today with the shake? -uh no love, same as every tuesday. cinnamon flavor. -mgh it tastes kinda off -lemme try? -mhm cmere *tilts james’ head back where he’s sitting on the gym bench and spits it in his mouth* -hm no it tastes normal to me dude -…ok again (and then when it dribbles down james’ chin sirius licks it all up and clean like a good dog)

VERY into sweat. half their wardrobe consists of compression shirts and tights and jerseys and gym shorts and the way sweat smells on those materials mixed with their body scent drives them INSANE. james is a armpit sniffer and sirius has days where he sifts trough james freshly used laundry and locks himself in his room for 20 minutes. he’s so obvious about it and james Knows it. hears him too. He swears he wears hoodies for cardio warm up to get hotter quickly so he can start quicker but really??🫢 it’s just for sirius and we all know it. sirius wears those hoodies the same day for movie night at home where they cuddle up on the sofa.

they probably have some type of lotion or cream for their sore muscles that they rub into each other. OH also one of those massage guns probably. maybe once they get together they defile that one too some day. maybe sirius binds james to the bedposts and has a go at him edging him for an hour or so because he’s simply so fascinated and turned on. he comes untouched two times during the process. james nearly passes out when sirius finally makes him cum :)<3

[morerandombullshit]

Y'ALL I GOT DRAMA LUKE'S GAY CONFIRMED??? also some other random shit plus a free Spotify playlist

CW: a homophobe acting gay, slightly NSFW themes (only if you squint)

OH MY GODS THIS SHIT IS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN BUT LIKE

SO MY BSF HAS THE SAME GYM CLASS AS LUKE AND FUCKING SHIT (ok technically we all share a gym class but then there's the gender split my nb ass is silently dying inside every fucking time) AND THEY WERE DOING HEALTH CLASS IN THE CAFETERIA BC THEIR NORMAL TEACHER WASNT IN TODAY, RIGHT?

NAH BC I TOLD MY FRIEND, "Take pics if there's drama" AND LIKE, THERE WAS DRAMA

SO IT WAS LUKE BEING A GAY FUCKER DESPITE BEING A HOMOPHOBE, BUT WE ALL KNOW HOMOPHOBES ACT THE GAYEST EITHER WAY

SO

HE GOT A COUPLE PICS

EXHIBIT A IS THIS

SO CONTEXT FOR THAT FIRST IMAGE ACCORDING TO MY FRIEND AND ANOTHER MUTUAL FRIEND WHO APPARENTLY WATCHED THE WHOLE THING WAS THAT LUKE WAS LIKE, HUMPING AND THRUSTING INTO THE DUDE HE'S CHOKING ON THE TABLE? (the other dude's name is Lachlan btw) AND THEN MAN STARTED FUCKING THE OTHER GUY IN THE ASS? IDEK ITS SO CONVULUTED BUT

little sidenote: my friend had to hide behind a pillar so the sub didn't catch him getting the pic and like, the sub broke it up by calling them out too

ANYWAYS EXHIBIT B

IDEK WHATS GOING ON IN THIS I THINK HES HUMPING A CHAIR OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT??? ITS FUNNY AS SHIT THOUGH

LIKE ITS SO FUNNY I CANNOT

also yes, i realized this is basically showing you guys his face and ig i begrudgingly agree with that comment from the guy trying to set me and him up (fucking still) that he is kinda "hunky"

AND AND I LOST FEELINGS WOOOOOO ITS BACK TO 24/7 HATE LETS GO

also im just gonna drop man's last name here—his last name is Tyler. like, can you get any whiter than a name such as fucking Luke Tyler?? (i say as i'm fucking Polish but we aren't talking ab me here are we)

OH AND IM GONNA DROP HIS TIKTOK

ITS FUCKING @lukewild123 AND ITS THE CRINGEST THING ON EARTH I SWEAR I WANTED TO TOSS MYSELF OFF MY COUCH FIRST TIME I SAW IT BUT

WHAT I WANT Y'ALL TO DO, IS TO SPAM "gay boy" ON ALL HIS TIKTOKS

FOR THE FUNNY AND BC I WANNA TORTURE HIM (ig this is where my moral questionability comes in but)

oh yeah and the week before spring break (which was last week) i was sick and that's what inspired my V x Reader a lil while back and like, i didn't see Luke for two weeks (new fucking record WOO) and then Monday i saw him but he didn't see me right? NO because he gives me The Luke Stare™ (yes i'm trademarking it and what i mean by it is like, those looks he gives me for no fucking reason at all- also I was giving my bsf a play by play as I wrote this post and he suggested "The Luke™" as a pun of "The Look™" i can't 😭😭) on Tuesday and i wanted to die and seep into the floor

anyways thanks for listening to my rant and yes i swear im gonna write and post smth at some point idrk when yet but

stay safe, make sure to keep your friends safe too and be chaotic

OHHHH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT

YOU GUYS GET A FREE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST I MADE THATS PUBLIC AND IS BASICALLY A COLLECTION OF SONGS THAT I THINK FIT LUKE KINDA?? IDK BUT

actually bye now lmao

[doctormage]

sorry i need to complain rly quick

ok so i went to the derby thing monday and in a nutshell it was awful solely bc i literally could not stay upright on my skates. im a severe asthmatic so i have to take albuterol before exercise and sometimes it makes me shaky, but this time my legs were like, completely and genuinely useless

everyone there was SO nice and only cared that i didnt hurt myself but im still really fucking embarrassed bc like. i make a point to exercise my legs every single day. at bare minimum i do squats and calf raises EVERY SINGLE DAY and have been for MONTHS bc of physical therapy. those two exercises particularly help keep my ankle and foot mobile so i make sure to do them, at least 30 of each, DAILY!!!!!!!!! my quads are fucking great!!!!!

so im like. alright. very cool and normal that the medication thats supposed to help me breathe is preventing me from even skating 3 feet in any direction, also very cool and awesome that people are gonna think its bc i have zero lower body strength (when in fact that is the ONLY place i have any strength!) bc my legs are like jello rn

(on top of this i was just so anxious and awkward and all this immediately brought up countless childhood memories of my gym teachers openly bullying me in front of my entire class bc i - severe asthmatic who was even worse as a child - wasn't going "fast enough" or "trying hard enough" or whatever. and also generally like the shittiness of not being able to play w your friends or whatever as a kid bc your lungs dont fucking work. so the frustration over this one thing just opened a can of worms that had been marinating for the last 26 years of my life)

(additionally i have placed a LOT on this mentally bc it's my attempt at like cultivating a hobby that involves other people and forcing myself to make friends that live in the same city as me. i've wanted to do this for over a YEAR, i was so excited after i got cleared by my physical therapist, and i also had a cold last week and was frantically doing everything i could to be better again before monday so it was just!!! a lot!!!) (i was better btw and not contagious. still wore a mask to the rink in case i coughed rly gross or smth tho)

i also thought maybe its bc my knees hyperextend REALLY really bad just like in my normal posture so my center of gravity is always all fucked. so on top of my shaky ass legs im trying to combat the entire way my body holds itself and has ALWAYS held itself, while attempting to maintain balance on wheels, and not default to What I Literally Always Do Subconsciously Because That's How My Legs Work. anyway

yesterday it was rainy so i couldnt skate but today i put my skates on and im like. completely fucking fine. not trembling at all, totally capable of remaining upright, maintaining proper form, skating around, everything, even with my fucked up backwards knees. what the hell and fuck

on monday i'd borrowed skates from the rink bc i didnt want to be the only one in new-looking non-derby skates (which i wouldnt have been anyway) so i guess it could be because their skates didnt really fit me right or they're flat and my skates have a heel but like????? why???????? why am i fine now ???????????????????

we have practice again tomorrow and i will ABSOLUTELY be wearing my own skates idgaf how stupid they look i am not putting myself in that position again. i NEED people to know i have functional legs ;_;

[walleeli]

Today on Blue Nuzlocke:

Not one but TWO gym battles today. Kunigami soloed Milo and the gang. We make for route 5 and my first encounter is a fucking Applin 💀 named him Kurona to try and soften the blow and make him grow on me. Its not working. That thing sucks so bad. To the boxes with ye. Get to Hulbury and I am acutely aware that we are not fucking ready to face Nessa. So I’m scrambling trying to figure out where and how I can get more guys. Preferably with advantage over water types.

Now. Folks. This is the part where it gets embarrassing for me… yall I do not know pokemon type strengths and weaknesses. So my first move. Was to find an ice type. And I did. We now have a little baby Snorunt named Rin. And then I googled water type weaknesses. And then I debated blowing up. So at this point I’m like shit and also damb. Where do I find a pikachu. But I don’t look up where to find pikachu I just start walking around in a location I haven’t encountered anything yet. And I am flabberghasted by a Stunky. Ok. Whatever. Catch it. My son now. His name is Karasu. And he gets boxed cuz he cannot help me right now.

So its been hours and I’m still just as unprepared for Nessa as when I started but I’m such an “oh well” and “lets get it over with” girlie im like hey. If Kunigami (vulpix) can pull it off so can Aryu (budew). And then I stall for a minute to go fish in Hulbury because OBVIOUSLY im gonna need a water type on hand for the next gym. Which I will surely be reaching. We go. I get a chewtle. Ok cool. Looks like Tokimitsu. Rock on. Boxes for now. Nessa time.

Aryu is fucking schooling the water gym. I’m like thank fuck. And when he starts getting low I throw Gagamaru (meowth) in there and he finishes it up with his metal claws or whatever the fuck its called. I do their silly little puzzle and I’m ready to die I mean live. Nessa fight is going all according to keikaku until she pulls out Drednaw. Who has Aryu on the ropes from the word go. Like to the point where I cannot risk even switching him out because my other troops are wounded. (I took Kurona in as our third to try and give him leveling opportunity. Not a good move. He was useless.) But I’m not going to let her kill me after everything I’ve been through. So what ends up happening is the worst quality tv you’ve ever seen. Just 25 minutes of me spamming potion in response to her nonstop Headbutts and waiting for Aryu’s poisoning to drain Drednaws stupid life away. It was boring. It was excruciating. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. But we survived. Nessa made some comment about my character having the ‘will to take on the champion’ or something’ and I wish their was a way to convey to her that I was sat in bed debating killing myself from about her third exact same move. Guys I don’t think Nuzlocke is fun. Oh my god.

Anyways <3 Two down however many to go. We make for Galar mines no. 2. Bede kills Kunigami. Fucking unreal. But its chill because he has wildcard privileges. The king WILL return if I have anything to say about it. Um. Then some random trainer kills Tokimitsu. Im like well. Ok. And now I’m in the mines fishing because I still need a water type for OH THAT RIGHT. Ok so I went back to Motostoke to fish somewhere between somewhere cuz again. Need water type. And I get a fucking. Magikarp. So you know I had to name it Igurashi. Its lvl 8. Genuinely I don’t even think its worth dealing with it. Ugh.

So anyways back to the mine. I’m fishing. Guess what? Its a fucking chewtle again. At this point me and those fucking things have BEEF ive been trying to level my dudes and they have been non fucking STOP they are EVERYWHERE every patch of grass every fishing spot every dynamax hole in the ground ITS BEEN MADDENING. And technically the set of rules I’m playing on says I can get another go if I run into something I’ve already got but. I decided its funnier this way. And also Tokimitsu died so technically I DON’T got. So this bastard is coming home with me. Fine. Named him Kaiser. My enemy’s name for my enemy. Thats cute and fun. I hope he dies soon. Team Yell grunts beat the shit out of me and Hop. I almost lost Aryu and Gagamaru both. Kaiser pulled his weight but I’m not gonna give him flowers about it.

Exit the mines. Close my eyes and run into the first tall grass field. Encounter a scraggy (pokemon I love dearly) im like yayayy!! Finally a nice thing for the specialest girl in the world! Acquired it. Named it Bachira. When he dies the run dies I don’t care. My special little guy. And thats what you missed on Glee.

[danceracha-remade]

ive been doing rly well and feeling kind of happy the past few days....Fear

[dayslynthesix]

after spain and monaco (and now fucking azerbaijan) I'm feeling a little bit dawn these days, and as someone who watch and support a lot of volleyball teams, i thought it would be incredible to match those two worlds

the prompt is pretty simple and I'm keeping it with charles, because c'mon, the man has been fighting his teammate, he's team, max, everything and everyone so the reader is a volleyball player, team captain of her team and the past seasons hasn't been great to her or her team so she knows what it feels to loose like that and after the awful strategy back at his home race, the reader says a couple of things she learned from the pro life of an athlete

a/n: this is just fictional, i wish things that are here were true but unfortunately the earth don't circle around me, just to clear a couple of things, this is not the first time i write something, but it's quite different to write in a clear pov and replace the clear pov to a y/n one, i keep just the y/n, choosing to give the last name (bishop), sorry about the spelling mistakes, english it's not my first language

charles leclerc x reader

pronouns: she/her/hers

Losing is part of the process | Charles Leclerc imagine

Monaco, 2022

it was late that night, the weather was warm but not suffocating, charles was back at his home after the race and press conference, he knew y/n was coming home, to him, after her night practice, they spoke briefly after the race and then he has to left to the interviews and she has to left to the gym, even though her season were already over. the knock on the door was soft, as everything was with her, y/n was a soft person, she knows exactly what to say to make people feel better, and as soon charles open the door she was holding him against her.

"im so sorry, bae..." she said in a calm voice, she knew he didn't wanted pity and even better, she knew how upset he was

"as i said, im getting used to coming back home disappointed after the race."

"you know its not your fault, right? you can't do everything alone, that why you have a whole team with you, they failed with you today, not the other way."

"yeah... they had failed a lot these days, i just can't understand why things keep going the wrong way, its so frustrating"

"i know, my love, i know, why don't we go to the living room so i can take a shower and then we can talk about it?"

"ok, i was waiting for you anyway" he gives you a soft kiss and went back to the couch, you could see the tv lights but there was no sound. you went for a quick shower and came back, charles was sitting on the floor, his back resting on the couch, you sit next to him and he immediately rested his head in your shoulder.

"do you remember last year season? we started winning every team, we barely lost a set?" he make a small sound just for you to know he knew about what you're talking about "and then, we lost, every game, we were hoping to others teams lose so we keep the lower half of the score, our opposite wasn't in the perfect connection with our setter, there was injuries, i was feeling my left knee... everything that could possibly go wrong was happening."

"yeah, i remember, you even considered moving to turkey or beach volley."

"yup, that's right. but out of the blue, we went to the kill-kill, and then the quarter finals, the semifinals, the final and when we thought it was over we won. it wasn't easy, but as a team we went against oir odds and make it."

"but that's because you're the best team captain in the world." he said and kissed you cheek

"that's not about me, its about team spirit, your team is letting you and carlos down, i know you're frustrated, pole position in spain and motor fail, pole position again here and they messed up the strategy. all I'm trying to say it is that tomorrow is a new day, there's a lot of new mountains for you to climb, but you're not alone, you know? im here with you, we lost and we win, its part of every sport."

"i know, i just want to feel the sadness for today, tomorrow its gonna be different."

Azerbaijan, 2022

charles didn't make a good start, perez was p1 before the first corner, then max take his p2, but a chaotic pit stop put him back in p1, everything was fine, until carlos hydraulic problem and until his car died, another motor fail, same one as spain. charles went back to the paddock, the first person he saw after the crew was y/n, she was wearing the ferrari merch, the red jerseys with his number on back, she was waiting for him. during summer break, every summer ever since they started dating she was with the team, watching every race, cheering him and all his friends, y/n was a sunlight at the ferrari garage.

"oh, love, im so so so sorry, i was hoping for the best"

"three times in a row, i think it should have an award for that" charles tried to make a joke, but you knew, you could feel the sadness and disappointment, "let me see mattia and carlos, I'll he right back"

after a quick talk to the chief, charles and carlos went back to where y/n was, she was still watching the race, way too concentrated. red bull went first and second, russell was p3, and considering george and charles were friends, y/n was really happy for him.

"carlitos, so sorry." y/n hugged carlos briefly and give him a soft smile

"thank you, y/n, next week is another week." carlos said and went to his room, awful day to be a ferrari driver and fan, charles needed to give a couple of interviews and as long as y/n was always walking around she take a time to congratulate the boys she was friends with, she saw lando first, he was with daniel, then lewis and george and finally pierre, the run into each other and y/n was shining in happiness for her boyfriend best friend and hers faithful horseman.

"pierre, I'm so happy for you, you deserved that"

"thank you, mini you, it was a great race, feels like i know what I'm doing again, im relieved. where my other half?"

"charles? interviews, were leading back to the hotel"

"tell him as soon as I leave here I'll go say hi. need to go, see ya" pierre kissed your temple and went to the alpha tauri motorhome and you lead back to the ferrari garage, charles was already back on his normal clothes.

"lets go?"

"yup, im ready, gasly said that he'll stop to say hi after the post racing"

you and charles walk to his car, it was parked close to a few journalists and photographers, you knew a couple of them and wave, charles give them a polite smile

"thank you for being here today, and last week, and next one..." he give you a soft kiss, the journalists went bananas with the public demonstration of affection, you and charles didn't hide your relationship, but you make it private, after his past relationships and people being around because the fame and the money, both of you deserves the privacy, none of the reporters went to you, or him, they just take a couple of pictures and focus on another thing to do.

"im your girl, leclerc, im always gonna be here, winning or losing"

"and she look really good in red", daniel show up out of nowhere, he shaked charles hand and leave before charles could hit him, daniel was a couple of meters away, but you could hear him laugh, "sorry, mate"

"keep dreaming, ricciardo, she's still my girl", he said and both of you got into the car, leading back to the hotel room.

while y/n was taking a shower, charles opened his Instagram account just to see two of yours posts, one was congratulating george, lewis and pierre and another one was just about him.

y/nbishop9

y/nbishop9 we do the best we can with the best we have, you did the best you could with the best it was given to you, it wasn't the result we wanted, but im really proud of the driver you are, even with all the adversity you keep loyal to yourself, we win and we lost together, we celebrate and we jump into next one together. im with you no matter what. remember, we swallow a lot of water, but there's a surface closer then we think. love you.

charles got himself thinking about the beginning of their relationship, they start dating in the middle of an awful season for y/n and her team, they went to every final and lost every single one, they lost a couple of athletes and she was nearly replaced as team captain, the next season all was working out, they were winning, good athletes, the team manager was happy, and a bad luck wave got them, but they "swallowed a lot of water but reached the surface again", in y/n's words, and that was solely one of the best things he learned with her, and they win, everything, all the championships, he saw the worst of her performance and the best, she went all for the finals, all the championships, y/n and her team were unstoppable.

y/n went back to him in the bed, getting cozy using his body as a pillow, despite the hot weather in Baku, her hands were cold and she let him know really well by putting her cold hands in his warm chest.

"ahh, mon amour, your hands are freezing"

" i know, but your all warm and its the best way to warm them" she smile at him

"i already said that i love you today?" she made that cute face when she's thinking

"no, not today"

"i love you, a lot, and thank you for being here with me, not just here today, but here everyday"

"can i drive your car now?"

"nice try, but it's still a no" he laughed the first time after the race, a genuine one

"c'mon, pierre was the one who taught me how to drive, do you honestly think that I'm a bad driver?" charles always forgot that pierres mom and y/n mom went to school together

"i know you're an expert, amazing, truly incredible driver, but im not risking losing my seat at ferrari, and thats whats gonna happen if they see you driving" charles gives you a quick nose kiss

"fine fine, I'll ask lewis, or lando? which one of them is shorter?"

"i think its lando"

"then lando it is, can we watch fast and furious now?"

"yes, we can"

y/n never walked away, he knew that and the strength she had inside of that 1,67m body was making him fight for being better. tomorrow it's a new day, a better day, he can lose today, tomorrow and next week, but he's doing the best he can with the best he's receiving.

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[beann-e]

I have a head cannon that bakugou would not be sweet to who he liked or dated and instead deny it and hate on them even more.

The reason being because he doesn’t really understand feelings so, when he’s talking badly about you he just assumes it’s normal and a bit funny at the lies he’s spitting that his just continuously friends are eating up.

he’s been talking bad about people for years so , who cares if your his s/o your no acceptation all people are equal in his mind. Now lemme explain please fall in line and hold a buddys hand kids we’re going on a trip inside my brain

It wasn’t easy getting the spiky haired male to ask you out honestly if someone asked you , which they’d never dare since they’d never know per bakugous request him saying it’s not their business , how you two got together you would shrug your shoulders and walk off.

It wasn’t that it was a boring day or a simple question that you supplied the answer for. It was that it was unusual.

You’d been at quirk practice after school in the gym like you’d usually do only this time bakugou made his way over to you.

You’d been seeing him more often when you were in the gym and you weren’t sure why until he explained that he was interested in your workout routine saying you two could have a contest to see who’s was more grueling

It seemed like fun so like any competitive person you agreed. Only for him to tap out on day two your laughs swirling around the gym as he fought so hard to say he only lost because he just didn’t like how the air would hit his ass crack anytime he did your little girly squats you’d wrote down for him.

You couldn’t say you weren’t both confused and happy when he let the air calm down before he spoke “ i’m kind of conflicted “ his eyes coming up to look at yours from the floor “ could you maybe help me“

“ of course what’s up “

“ i’m at a standstill “

“ more like a sit still “ you joked eyes peering down at his straight face “ yeah ok let’s imagine that didn’t happen —continue “

“ uh yeah anyways — i’m at a standstill because honestly I like your shit workout “ he shook his head to the floor “ but I also like you so I find myself thinking if I couldn’t get through your workout even though I enjoyed it so much could I “

his voice rasped shakily “ could I get through a relationship with you even though I like you even more “

truthfully you’d wish you’d said no because right now you wanted nothing more than to just be friends with the male sitting across the room from you.

It’s not that you didn’t like him of course you did he was hot , smart, and felt strongly about his goals but, he was an asshole.

Not in the aspect of hes just mean and rude but he was an all around prick as he laughed with his friends from across the room.

Their voices only getting louder as you sat alone a few seats away from them trying to complete some work on your desk you’d just been given “ dude gotta admit class 1-A’s got some hot chicks “

“ yeah honestly minas top three if we’re being truthful “

“mina dude come on have you seen jirou “

“ don’t even get me started “ denkis voice came out in a soft groan “ god I would— “

“ yeah yeah all that jazz but “ seros voice came out soft. His hand coming up to point at the seat as you sat in with your head down eyes furrowed in anger at the math on your paper that wasn’t syncing up with your brain right now

“ y/n “ his fist tightened as he groaned “ y/n could get it on all accounts — the car “

“ you don’t have a car “ denkis voice came out as sero continued

“ the school bathroom “

“ but which one ? because one of you would have to go in the wrong sex’s unless its a handicap or family stal-“

“the fucking dorms “

“ y/n ? “ kirishima asked quickly “ y/n l/n ? “

“ fuck yeah “

“ hmm “ kirishima studied you before shaking his head “ honestly kinda hot never really paid attention to that stuff before though “

“ what the fuck how can’t you “

“ uh i’m more so a personality guy “

“ so by personality would you fuck em ‘ “

“ not to be vulgar but of course “ his answer taking no time “ y’know how fun they’d be in a relationship though not just with sex ? imagine cuddles—fuck —what about cuddle monster y/n maybe ? god that’d be so hot “

denki getting restless as he held his thoughts in from the other males. His mind spazzing before finally getting to speak “ i’d fuck her too “ he yelled everyone’s eyes going sharp on the boy before he coughed “ id rock it too — we’re talking about getting mullets “

“ oh boys that’d be kinda hot “ you said laughing sarcastically sero turning to you smiling softly “ oh yeah on who in particular “

“ mm totally blondie over there “

“ the fuck ? “ his eyes shot away from denkis and moved to yours anger pouring through his gaze making you jerk back a little in surprise “ the hell you mean i’d look hot “

your eyebrows creased “ well because I — you do you would “

“ don’t go talking out of your ass you hear me—shit people like you don’t deserve to talk to anyone about looks “ your mouth went dry at his lazer stare.

His lips curling up into a smirk before he shook his head “ these assholes are talking about fucking you yknow “ he whispered to you “ you gonna let em ? you gonna let em right? because that’s the only attention you’d ever get right “

“ bakubro hold up chill out “

“ yeah bakubro chill out “ you said your gaze wavering from the hard one you’d had when you felt the heat radiating off of him no comfort coming from him to you only confusing you more. Had you two been in a secret argument that you knew nothing about

“ whatever “ he leaned back in his chair as the class went back to what they were doing your hands gripping the pencil when the class got even louder but you only searching for your boyfriends voice easily drowning out the others

“ i’d never fuck “ your heart broke at the deep voice youd identified

“ dude seriously come on with the lies —fucking beautiful “

“ correctomundo my friend their absolutely stunning “

his laugh ripping through their claims hand jerking back to point at you “ you think their beautiful much less hot ? “

“ yeah you don’t ? “ denki spat all of them looking at the boy like he was crazy for enjoying this obviously racy topic right now much less taking the wrong side of the debate

“ I literally just sat here and said I wouldn’t fuck em’ pokémon —so you can guess what that correlates to “

“ hey dude why’re you being sucha a dick —the personality’s top tier even if your stupid enough to think their not at least hot“ kirishima putting the ending words in quotation marks honestly a bit upset with his friend

“ hey watch it your over here defending an extra like your gonna make moves on em “ he laughed “ I advise otherwise “

you let out a sigh thinking he’d finally stopped acting the way he was. Your mind preparing to only give him the silent treatment for today and then tomorrow peppering him with kisses until he laughed and apologized for his words

Heart only being snatched away from your body when you heard his deep vibrating voice cut through the room “ probably gonna give you a rash from all the shit that’s on their mouth all the time “

it’s just lipgloss.

Lipgloss bakugou bought you packs of earlier this week after he swore he loved the taste and scent.

moving to wipe at it gently with the sleeve of your outfit him still going causing tears to start building up in your eyes “ bet the bitch doesn’t even shower —had em’ over for a project last night had to wash my sheets and blanket —took hours last night “

“ oh “ denki let out “ I was a bit confused when I saw you at the laundry room at 3 in the morning.

Tears blurring your vision as you thought about his earlier words when he’d given you your favorite sweater of his after saying he’d washed it for you because he knew you wouldn’t do it yourself because in his words ‘ you would never wash it without his help because you were a creep and didn’t want to erase his smell or some shit ‘

“ yeah —smelled so bad im telling you stay away you don’t wanna ask em’ out “

you moved to grab your phone as he kept talking you typing out a message as best as you could before hitting send. His hand moving off the desk and going in his pants pocket to pull his phone out keeping it hidden under the table eyes trailing over the screen

Firefighter >3

baby are we arguing

if your mad at me please just tell me don’t just talk shit about me in front of your friends

him locking his phone and placing it on his desk before you typed out one more message him letting out a sigh as he grabbed for it again

firefighter >3

if you keep going we’re over

“ but imagine whoever bags them apart from bakugou at least since we all know he’s all anti hot y/n “

“ they’d be so lucky “

“ yeah right “ he spoke lowly almost trying to hide his voice from you eyes glued to his phone “ wouldn’t dare “

“ wouldnt dare what bakugou “

“ oh wouldnt dare be —-be lucky “ he locked his phone again “ feel bad for the person dating them all the shit they gotta go through put up with , claims they make through message and not with real words, being too much of a pussy to speak up for themselves“

he shook his head softly eyes twitching “ you wouldn’t put up with that —you couldn’t put up with that your not built for it you gotta have tough skin y’know like me “

he licked his lips moving to sit up straighter when hearing his phone vibrate “ don’t uh “

firefighter >3

one more bakugou

one more bakugou katsuki and were over

his eyes darting over to yours before his eyebrows furrowed and body shook in anxiousness he couldn’t figure out what to do.

He was an asshole you knew this so why the fuck were you being such a crybaby now? did he pick the wrong person to date he thought you were strong

He genuinely just wanted to keep these creeps away from what’s his by scaring them off he wasn’t doing anything wrong? well at least in his eyes

He moved to talk again trying his best to string together a nice sentence “ just don’t uh ask —ask em’ out —-their utter dog shit when it comes to relationships leave it to someone who can handle that y’know “

he relaxed into his chair at his victory when he watched you throw your phone to the table and fix your skirt and standup. Him sighing out when you picked up your stuff to leave “ thank all might “ he whispered head shooting to lean back against his desk chair and look up at the sky blood running cold when his phone vibrated against the table

firefighter >3

all your shits gonna be outside my dorm door. So you might want to come collect it before I have half and half lighting campfires tonight

y’know since i’m such a shit person —gotta hope your bestie deku can give me some after school lessons on personalities. He’s so sweet I bet he’ll fix me right up

screw you katsuki see you in hell

“ the —the fuck what did —the hell did I do wrong “ he screamed when he saw you slam the classroom door after flicking him off

his friends eyes moving from the door to bakugous phone that he’d thrown on the table.

Todorokis eyes going wide when he read his stupid nickname given to him by the steamy male “ I —I uh“ he coughed “ I think i’m gonna go help y/n since their now single—don’t want em’ getting hurt with amateur fire starters again when i’m right here “

his stone face peered down at the red faced boy “ I mean that is ok with you bakugou seeing as though you two were most likely in a relationship by the messages before today “

“ you asshole did you go through me and my s/o’s messages “

“ judging by the series of recent text I don’t believe that’s the case for you two anymore “ he reached to grab his backpack saying a formal goodbye before he spoke “ I feel like i’m needed by a very —very perfectly intelligent unshitty person right now “

seros voice coming out softly as he let bakugous phone fall to the table disappointment in his eyes “ look uh —dude you didn’t have to mess your relationship up just to go against us ? “ he winced at the claim“ honestly you could’ve stayed quiet the whole time —it’s not like we agreed with you anyways “

bakugou leaned back in his chair anger swirling in his stomach as he felt his body sweat at the new heat spreading throughout his whole body.

How the hell did he mess up where the hell did he mess up he explained to you he wasn’t gonna treat you any differently than any other extra here and that went for basic conversations too

Maybe he went a bit far with the dont date em ‘ that was probably it you didn’t like how he said don’t date you because he was the only one who could handle you right ?

He shook his head a bit confused you just wanted him to say that you could handle yourself and didn’t need him right ?

So , why the hell did he feel like he’d done something wrong he wasn’t stupid but he just wasn’t well versed in feelings. He already didn’t know how to handle his own so how was he expected to handle another persons.

To him his words were normal he talked about all people like this hell, he bullied deku for 3 years going as far as to make a special nickname for him

that wasn’t even the worse he could’ve done and you knew that so why was he in trouble and worrying about Icy hot taking his place

He was honestly confused?

Could words really be that hurtful?

could his words really be that hurtful ?

[boobz-fye]

Comforting them after losing a game

Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.

Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)

Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!

Oikawa Tooru~

It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night.  Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.

Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. “If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi~

Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.

Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.”  “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.

Kageyama Tobio~

Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.

You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….”  “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.

Akaashi Keiji~

It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.

As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.

[semischarmed]

Detour

“Really Scott,” you say, as you run your fingers through your hair. “I don’t look familiar to you at all?” You take a mental picture of your high school tormentor’s face. Damn. ‘You’ve only gotten hotter these past few years haven’t you?’

“Nah man, sorry” He states as he moves to close the door to his apartment. You give a slight rub to a small gold medallion and his body starts moving on it’s own. You stare at him with a cruel smile as he tries to wrestle control back of his body. Your face strains but you are able to force him to let you into his place. Scott, evidently, was smarter than he looks as you notice him take a mental note of your struggle and the medallion. You’re gonna have to be careful around him.

You have to admit, this is a lot tougher than you initially expected. Much like his body, man has a will of steel, and even with this necklace’s little power boost, you can only barely contain him. But you have the power of raw emotion coursing through you. Envy. Lust. Unlike Scottie over here, lady luck has not been kind to the past few years past high school. That all changed when you came across this medallion. A strange, mystical, wonderful medallion with strange, mystical, wonderful powers. As soon it came into your possession, you instantly knew the first person who would have the privilege of witnessing its power firsthand. Scott reclaimed a bit of power over himself.

“What the fuck dude! You got the wrong guy! I really don’t know who you are!” You have to hold back a bit of your hurt. All those years of agony and fear, and it doesn’t even register a blip to him. ‘Fuck it, worth it for what I’m about to get.’ With another rub of the medallion you force him to freeze.

As you study his frame, still and glistening with a nervous sweat, you are overcome with a wave of lust- you can’t wait to possess the fuck out of this man. He’s only gotten bigger, beefier since the last time you’ve seen him. You are cut from your trance as you hear a soft “zzzz” sound.

His phone buzzes again and, rubbing your medallion, you force him to pull it out and unlock it for you. “Who is this?” You ask, as you take a closer look at the string of texts. “Almost back!” “Hey u wanna get some pizza tonight?” “Dude I gotta tell you about Sophie at the weights today.“

“I-It’s Alex, he’s my friend. He’s my best friend. We’re roommates. Also he’s coming back soon, so you should probably go. This-whatever the fuck this is man, I won’t tell anyone I promise. Just go” he states nervously. Try as you might, you can’t read if he’d genuinely let you go. Knowing the Scott you knew in high school, he’d probably beat you to a pulp as soon as you released your hold on him. Whatever. Not leaving anyway. You stare at more pictures of his friend from Scott’s social media. Fit, cute- hot even, easy on the eyes. Ok then, maybe a little detour is in order. 

“I’m gonna give you a choice.” You state plainly, as you set his phone on the table. “And I know you remember who I am, so you can stop the act. You? Or Alex? Who’s it gonna be?” He probably thinks you’re gonna kill him. Not even close. If anything, he’s gonna be getting a new lif-

“Alex, Alex! Please dude, just leave me alone!” He says without hesitation. Damn. Cold-blooded. You smile with menacing compliance. 

“Alex it is.”

----

Minutes later, a sweaty Alex unlocks the door to his apartment, eager to get quick shower in and order some dinner. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize we’d have guests”. 

Alex smiles warmly at you and greets you, “Hey, I’m Alex, Scott’s roommate. Good to meet you!” He looks at his hand. “Sorry, I just got back from the gym, so I’d shake your hand, b-” “So you’re Alex! good to meet you too!” you cut him off by extending your hand, which he awkwardly shakes out of formality. You use this to take a sneak preview of your future vessel’s hands. Calloused, but soft. Thin, damp. Vascular. Good.

“Yeah, I’m an old friend of Scott’s. From high school,” you lie. “He said he had to grab something from the store, so he’ll probably be back in a bit.”

“Aww well, I’m sorry he’s been keeping you waiting” Alex gives a warm smile. “He’s usually pretty good at this kind of stuff, so I’m sure he had a good reason. Do you want like a water or something?” 

He starts to head to the kitchen. You stifle a moan as you quickly stick your hand in your pants and smear his gym sweat all over your dick. Sneak preview. 

As he fashions himself a glass of water and glances back as you quickly take your hands out your pants before he notices. “Oh no, no! I’m alright! Thank you for the offer though!” you beam back. Close call.

‘Alex is such a nice, stand up guy’ You wonder to yourself, ‘why is he friends with that piece of shit’

“I’ve known Scott since college, so a little less than you, haha” he adds, as if hearing your mental conversation. “He always keeps it real and he’s even been helping me get toned”. He smiles and does a small bicep flex to demonstrate -hot- before he ravenously gulps down the entire glass of water and sets it down.

‘Fuck yeah, I can’t wait to be the one going down that tube’ you think, as you bite your lip. Alex starts to head your way. You then pick up on his scent, he smells clean- probably his cologne or deodorant. Mountains. Mint. Fresh rain. He’s like a breath of fresh air. Then the undercurrent of his scent hits. Raw, primal, alpha as fuck. You’re a bit surprised. Such a kind, clean cut guy and he apparently naturally smells like a filthy, raunchy, putrid motherfucker. You can hardly control yourself as you try to imagine where it’s coming from. Pits, ass, feet, ball sweat, all of the above?- wherever the fuck it’s coming from, it’s intoxicating. You smile in the joy that a little piece of you, even if it was just the dick that you rubbed his hand sweat all over, now smells like a diluted Alex. You struggle as you adjust your growing hard on in proximity to the pheromone bomb that is Alex.

Suddenly, Alex’s phone buzzes. You steal a glance at the sender. It’s Scott.

“Hey man, come to my room, now. We need to fucking talk. I have no idea who he is. Make sure he stays where he is. He doesn’t know I’m here .” Alex stares at his phone, a little perplexed, while you continue to stare at this fine, fine piece of ass in front of you. He gives a quick glance your way, to which you respond with a smile. 

“Hey, uh, make yourself at home, ok? Im sure Scott’s coming back soon. I, uh, I gotta take care of something real quick with our, um, other roommate.” There’s only two bedrooms and he’s a horrible liar, but you still find it a little endearing. “Anyway, it was nice to meet you, maybe we can hang out sometime. Any friend of Scott is a friend of mine!“ he tells you kindly as you swoon. ‘Oh Alex we’re about to be much, much closer than friends. Closer than you can possibly imagine’.

“Hey dude, uh, so Scott’s friend is waiting for you in the living room. Also whatever this is, can it wait? I kinda have to showe-“ Alex cuts himself off as he sees Scott slumped over, tied up to his desk chair with his own dirty clothes in a neat little bow. “What the fuck!?! Scott! are you ok?” Alex rushes over to help his friend.

“So, I gotta say, Scott, you made a great choice sacrificing him to save yourself. Alex is definitely a catch.” You say from the doorway. Alex quickly looks your way in horror as his best friend breaks free from his fake restraints and pulls him into an embrace.

Alex tries to squirm free from Scott’s grip, as you make Scott say the truth to his friend. “He made me choose, between you and me. I chose you.”

“T-This is a joke, right? Scott?” Scott starts to force him into his desk chair. “Cmon man!” Alex pleads, as an emotionless Scott ties him to the desk chair.

“Some best friend” you chuckle, as you stroke Scott’s cheek and wipe away a stray tear -you can feel his revulsion internally- “he sold you out without a second thought”. You start to undress his lower half, starting with his gym shoes. Fuck it was potent. “Don’t worry, I’ll never do that to us.” You peel away his sweat soaked socks and take another whiff. Alex sits in confusion, probably speechless at what had just transpired.

“Let’s make a deal” you say with a chuckle. “I’ll show you a taste of me if you show me a taste of you.” Without waiting for a response, you start by kneeling down sucking on his scummy toes. Sour. Just how you like it. He’s still squirming in his bonds a little. “Step on me,” you say, as you smash your face to his sweaty feet over and over again, simulating him stepping on you. You catch a little movement in his crotch area. ‘Is he enjoying this?’ you ask, as you continue up Alex’s legs. You look back to make sure Scott is still in your control. He stands frozen, emotionless, but with a deep hatred in his eyes, twitching occasionally in his attempt to break free. You make him face Alex and force him to lift the corner of his tank top to give Alex a little tease, while you continue with your little treasure hunt.

You then peel away his compression shorts to reveal your prize. A concentrated bloom of Alex’s pheromones hit you. Ecstasy. You almost pass out on the spot. ‘Holy shit’. You can't control yourself as bury your head and greedily rub your face in his sweaty crotch. Alex is eerily quiet.

Rubbing the medallion, you issue your next command. You’re gonna need to divert a little magic to making this work, so you release some control of Scott as emotion and shouting return to him. It takes a minute or two but you’re able to get your bodies properly primed fro the next stage. You notice Alex shiver from a slight tingle in his body, while Scott continues his barrage of insults your way. “Shut up,” you command. His lips quiver and then shut. “Scottie, come tell Alex what his best friend is gonna do to him.”

Alex again looks at Scott with a pleading face as a twitching, emotionless Scott continues: “Alex, I’m gonna stuff you full of himm- full of my Ma,” you wince. Strong and stubborn as ever, you can’t even get him to call you master. “Man you’re gonna love it. I sold you out to save myself. Didn’t even have to think about it. Just like that.” You’re getting a little better at controlling his movements. “Now I’m gonna be the one to make sure I put all of him inside you” Scott continues, “I-I can’t wait to see him wear you like a s-suit, parading you around, s-swimming in your skin and no one will ever know. I can’t wait to see the new you, w-with a little fag pilot tucked safe inside, pulling on your strings, speaking for you, thinking for you, loving for you” Scott finishes with an unsettling, wide grin that you force him into. 

Emotion and control rush back to Scott’s face. “Alex...” he states in an apologetic tone, but Alex doesn’t even look him in eye. Again, off the corner of your eye, you can’t help but notice a ghost of a smile on his face before it returns to its sullen look.

“Ok, ok, enough you two. Let’s go put on a good show for our best friend Scottie”.

-End Part 1-

[bakatenshii]

Grapefruit

Oikawa Tooru x reader (haikyuu!!)

word count: 2.3k

TW: 18+, lemon, wattpad, crack

A/N: I’m so sorry. This is actually a joke, a parody, I promise, it’s written like this on purpose for the collab. Terrible (or lack entirely of) grammar, dialogue so cheesy I threw up multiple times in my mouth, too many specifications of shades of the colour pink. For @undermattsun’s whorehouse wattpad garbage fire collab. I’m so sorry.

grape·fruit

/ˈɡrāpˌfro͞ot/

In the world of fandom (check out fan fiction, fanfics, or fics), a grapefruit is a story which consists of sexual explicit themes in bizarre situations.

An orange-twinged pink, almost coral.

haikyuu series!! :3

disclaimer: haikyuu does NOT belong 2 me. Or else I would make XXXX go w/ XXXX ;)

༻✧༺

𝑝𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

༻✧༺

“hurry up y/n!!!” - i remove my skullcandies out my ears, hearing my best friend sunnie(with an ie! not y!) shout to me from down the hall.

flipping my baby pink (NOT cotton candy pink! god there’s a difference, get it right. last week ash-lee with her stupid bleach blonde hair called it cotton candy pink and I wanted to kill her) hair behind my shoulder, i skipped down the lockers.

i was in my best outfit, checkered pink and white (bubblegum pink, this time) leg warmers with my matching pink + white skirt and white denim jacket with a pink butterfly bedazzled on the back. i saw paris hilton in it on her myspace too, so you could say im pretty trendy.

not like the other girls, like brittney (with her dark hair with a blue streak with a puppy shaped purse she swears is designer.) or ash-lee with her stupid ugly blonde hair that’s deffo fake. oh i already said that

anyways

it’s just an average tuesday morning, and i’m just your not-so-average girl. my name’s (y/n) (l/n) and im (age) years old. my best friends are sunnie, rachelle, and meeky. oh, and lindt, sometimes, when she’s not too busy with trying to save the world from global warming.

i’m on my way to p.e. which UGH is my least fav class, who even came up with it? but at least there’s the hottie oikawa tooru-sama in my class (ha! eat that ash-lee + brittney) and all the girls luuuuurv him. he’s soooo hot i bet he has abs

(brianna with the ugly hair who wears green shoes with red socks said she saw him change once and she totally saw his 8pack but she’s a liar so i dont believe her)

(even tho he tooootally has one)

i was on way just skipping down the hall to go to p.e. when someone crashes into me from behind.

‘-u-GH!’ i fall.

‘hey!!!!’ i turned around to yell at who’s bumping into me-

it was oikawa tooru-sama!! the most popular boy in school!!! i felt like i was in a dream i pinched my hand but... it hurts!!! this isn’t a dream!!! the oikawa tooru-sama just crashed into me!!! with his body!!! his shoulder touched me!!!!!

he turn and looks at me and... my heart stops. i think im dying omgomgomg

‘a-are you okay (y/n)-chan?’ he asks me and holds his hand out.

i cant believe it. the oikawa tooru-sama is giving me his hand to hold?!?! is this heaven???

‘i-i-‘ i stammer. i’m so shocked i swear my face is beat red. ‘i-i’m ok.’

i was too scared to hold his hands because mine were so sweaty from seeing him this upclose. i stand up and dust my knees because i want him to think i’m tough. that’s right. oikawa tooru-sama is a professional vball player! (v for volley-ball) he’s not going to like some dumb average weak normal crybaby girl.

‘ok. see ya in class!’ he smiles and waves at me before walking down the hall, shooting me his signature smile. the one that makes flowers bloom around him and glitters around his whole body.

h-how did he know? did he just say in class??? the oikawa tooru-sama knows who i am???

i take out my phone to frantically text my bffs (sunnie, rachelle, meeky and lindt) and see the group chat had some unread new messages. i click open it.

(beep)

𝚋𝚕@𝚑𝚔𝚞𝚐𝟶𝟶: omgzzzz i juss saw tsukki-sama xDDD

𝕣𝕒𝕖𝕖𝕖𝕖𝕩𝕠𝕩𝕠: STDU XDD wut wuzz he wearin?!? hes sooooo hawt oh em geez

tsukki-sama, aka tsukishima kei-sama, is the hot blondie in the other class’s vball team. rachelle and sunnie are sooo in love with him, but i don’t blame them. he’s soooo tall, taller than oikawa tooru-sama even. (but that doesn’t matter because oikawa tooru-sama has the prettiest smile in the world and no one’s seen tsukki-sama smile like... since he came outta the womb)

i quickly type out my txt because this is more important than what the blonde vball star is wearing.

(beep)

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: guizzzzz guizzzz GUIZE!!!! GUEZZ WUT JUSS HAPPND!!

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: u’ll nv beliv it!!!!! omGZZZZZ IM LAIK DYINN XDDDDDDD TT_TT

ｓｋ８ｅｒｇ１ｒｌ: omgawd wuuuut

ｓｋ８ｅｒｇ１ｒｌ: w8 kita-sama jus sk8dd by me i fink he haz a new b04rd!!!!! be are be

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: uGGGHRRR MEEKY DIS IZ MOAR IMPOARTAN!!!!!!

before i have the chance to tell them about my fateful encounter with the oikawa tooru-sama someone snatches my phone away. i turn around, maybe it’s oikawa tooru-sama again?

UGH NO IT’S OUR STUPID BALD PRINCIPAL. now i’m in trouble.

‘no phones in the hall (y/n) (l/n)-san!’ he yells at me. his breath stinks, yuck.

he takes my phone and puts it in his pocket and i realize that he’s putting it in his pocket and taking it away.

‘b-but-‘ jimmy i protest. not my flip phone with my pink bedazzled hello kitty charm on the end!

‘no buts!!!! see you after lecture missy!!’

god, this is just like, the worst day ever.

༻✧༺

𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑏𝑦𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

𝑙𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑢𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑛

𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

p.e. is the same as always: im sitting on the side, not doing sports because girls like me can’t risk breaking my perfectly painted pink (hot pink, not baby pink) nail with diamonds on it. i tell my bffs about the encounter and they all agree that it’s deffo fate.

‘i know right??’ i giggle staring down at the man of my dreams, at his chocolate brown locks, thinking back at his dreamy brown orbs staring into my dark black ones offering me his hand.

‘you should totes ask him out!’ giggles sunnie.

‘oh em gee, never!!! that’s sooo embarrassing, he’s totally gonna say no!’ i said.

‘seriously, (y/n)-chan, what do you have to lose?’ rachelle said.

‘just like, my dignity and self respect.’ i reply sassily.

at that we three burst into laughter, and the fat p.e. prof turns and tells us shhhhhhh.

i love my friends.

i tell them about our bald principal taking my pink flip phone with the hello kitty charm on it away.

‘oh no!’ rachelle exclaimed.

‘what are you going to do?’ sunnie asked.

i shrug, feeling at a loss without it.

‘it’s like, seriously dangerous without a phone.’ the blonde said.

‘what if you get like, kidnapped or something?!’ the purplenette said, clasping her hand over her mouth in a show of shock. (ps. bluette vs. blunette?)

‘kidnapped?!?’ i laugh. ‘who’s gonna kidnap me?!!’ we all burst into laughter again, causing our p.e. prof (still fat and annoying) to shhh us again.

little did i know that the brunette vball star was staring up at me, plotting.

i had no idea what was about to come.

༻✧༺

𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦

𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑢𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦

𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛, 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑒

𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒, 𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

when i open my eyes, my eyes are heavy, staring up at a bright light above my head. i squint my eyes because the light hurts my eyes.

‘well, well, well’ i hear a voice behind me. ‘(y/n)-himesama’s awake, i see.’

wait-

i know that voice-

that’s-

that’s the oikawa tooru-sama’s voice!

‘w-what?’ i stuttered, surprised but feeling a warm rush going down my body at the sound of his voice. ‘what’s going on?’

he chuckles. ‘can’t you tell?’

i look around and see my arms taped up behind me on a chair and my legs tied together by... something. rope maybe?

‘where am i?’ i ask, even more bewildered.

‘tsk tsk tsk, silly (y/n)-himesama. i’ve kidnapped you, my dear.’ he said. ‘we’re in my mansion right now��

my eyes pop out of their sockets. am i hearing him right?

‘no,’ he corrects himself. ‘we’re in our mansion.’

i can’t help but blush at that suggestion. our mansion?

that’s right, i must be crazy, i think to myself. this is all just a dream, i’m still in school, on the bleachers with my bffs and i fell asleep in our class.

‘this isn’t a dream, darling’ he singsongs, and i feel more warmth flood downwards. god what is wrong with me? turned on in this situation? but can you blame me? who wouldn’t get turned on when the oikawa tooru-sama is standing in front (or behind) them and calling them ‘darling’?

‘w-what- h-h-how?’ i ask him. ‘i was just at school, staring at you play vball in the gym- i mean n-not staring at you- and-‘

he chuckles darkly.

‘i know you were, (y/n)-himesama. that’s why i kidnapped you, because you’re so cute.’

i blush at his words. m-me? cute??? did the oikawa tooru just call me cute?

i suddenly remember what rachelle and sunnie said in p.e. today about being kidnapped, and shudder. god, h-her mind! they’re totally gonna tell me i told you so! when i tell them.

‘b-but, h-how?’ i bit my lip looking at him beneath my lashes, or however anastasia steele did it in too many shades of grey. (it wasn’t actually that bad, but ill never admit it. it’s sorta kinda hot. also pantone says theres only like 37 diff shades so.)

‘i saw you with your friends, and i served a ball at your head knocking you out.’ he explained. suddenly i feel a pang on my head reinforcing what he’s saying.

‘ow...’ i say quietly.

the brunette man built like a god walks into my frame of vision for the first time after waking up and i notice he’s shirtless, all 8pack exposed for me to look at.

(i guess brianna was right, but she’s still a liar that wears green shoes with red socks.)

he comes up to me and kneels in front of me until he’s kneeling in front of me. he carresses my cheek with his hand (the same one he reached out to me earlier that day, pre-kidnapping) and i sigh.

if this is a dream never wake me up. i think to myself.

‘wh-‘ before i can get the words out asking him why me?, he presses a finger to my lips, shushing me.

he looks at me with his brown chocolate orbs, and i get lost in them, counting the stars and constellations in those glowing beautiful orbs that i never thought i could look at so up close. (except in photos i secretly took)

‘i love you, (y/n) (l/n)’ he says.

i fainted.

༻✧༺

𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠

𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

i wake up (for the second time that day, god what is up with today?), my eyes still heavy.

‘good morning, darling,’ i hear a voice say, and suddenly i remember everything that’s transpired so far.

(for reference: i crashed into the oikawa tooru-sama this morning, had my phone taken away, and now kidnapped by none other than the oikawa tooru-sama, now in his- no, our mansion.)

‘o-oikawa tooru-sama?’ i stutter out weakly, still groggy.

‘just tooru, my hime-sama.’ he says and i feel my body heating up again.

suddenly, i’m filled with an overwhelming emotion, and the worlds spill out before i can stop them.

‘i love you, t-tooru.’ i stutter on the foreign name, biting my lips (for good measure).

he looks at me, chocolate orbs piercing right into my super dark black pupils, and he starts to cry. i cry too, because he just looks so beautiful, even when he’s crying.

he holds me in his arm and i nuzzle my nose into his neck, smelling his deep chocolatey velvety sweet minty musky scent. he smells so good i could just stay here forever, bathing in the chocolatey velvety sweet minty musk.

‘u-um...’ i start, and he nuzzles his face into my neck some more. i can feel his wet tears on my shoulder... is he still crying??

i try again. ‘u-ummmm...’

he finally looks up at me and i peer into his deep chocolate orbs, feeling him stare intently into my dark block orbs. i wiggle my arms to show him i want him to release them, because if you remember they’re still taped up by like, tape or rope or whatever.

‘o-oh!’ he exclaims and unties them.

i don’t know what came over me but suddenly we’re kissing, our tongues are battling for dominance within our hot wet cavernous mouths, and it’s soooo hot.

he grips my legs and spreads them apart, tongues still fighting a mighty battle, and i see him take out his big massive rock hard member in his hands.

i wrap my legs around him, thankful for the pink (bubblegum pink) and white checkered skirt im wearing today for easy access, and he pushes his hot shaft into my core. i can feel his member in my wet gushy wushy pussy and it feels so good i came.

he cums too.

‘w-will you marry me?’ he looks up at me, his member still inside. i feel tears brimming in my eyes again as I nod.

‘i do.’

༻✧༺

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑠

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔

𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒

a/n: ta-dah!! the end!!! tankzz 4 readin guyzzzz lawl im thinking of making dis a series so... ;))) tell me who u wana be kidnapped by next! xD

a/n #2: speshull tankz 2 uwucatgirlprincess99 4 da line (u kno da one ;))) + sk8erg0rl666 4 havin me in da collab! + also cummin up wiv da title!! lawlzz rawr x)))

a/n #3: OH WOW . erhm. Longest chappy thing ive written. Hope you liked it. so uhm. ENJOY ! [btw, I'm considering doing the NEXT CHAP; sneak peek thing. Should I? :3 Comment?] plz R&R!! :]]] kudoz 4 u <333

p.s. da colour i used 4 da lyriczzz is fuschia pink! :3

p.p.s. comment below if u reconize dee song!! ur a kool kat if u do ;))

[mizunetzu]

Can you do Daichi x male reader where Daichi asks his boyfriend to come over to meet his team and he forgets and goes home so Daichi give him a call and is like "where you at?" "I cant come I look like a clown." "I bet you dont look that bad." "No you dont get it im in full drag." So his boyfriend comes to the gym in full drag, booby and butt pads, and monster heels, and when he walked in it's like Kags that recognizes him as his drag name.

LMAOOJSKE DRAG QUEEN READEKRNRNF

——————

Daichi x reader - DRAG QUEEN?!

⚠️warnings - drag queen, college first year reader x high school 3rd year (if that’s even a warning skdjd)

Pronouns- male, he/him

——————

Daichi said it on impulse, really.

“Do you guys...wanna meet my boyfriend?”

Everyone in the gym stopped. They were in middle of a practice match between themselves, and just when Yamaguchi was about to serve, he choked on air and missed the ball completely. The ball flew in the air, before landing somewhere near his feet.

Everyone stared at Daichi with a variety of expressions. Some shocked, some looking at him like he ‘said I’m gonna chop my dick off,’ and some who didn’t even care. (Tsukishima, obviously.) Ukai had to call timeout, since no one could focus after what Daichi blurted out.

Suga chuckled awkwardly, slinging a towel over his shoulders. “So uh, ahaha, your um...gay...?” His voice progressively died down into a whisper.

“Yeah. Is...that’s a problem?”

“No! No! I fully support y-“

“AND YOU CHOSE NOW TO TELL US? DUDE, WE COULD’VE LIKE, THROWN YOU A COMING-OUT PARTY!” Tanaka shook his captaincy the shoulders, while Noya squirted water into his mouth with his squeeze bottle.

“Well I don’t really mind, I’m already out, I was just asking if you wanted to meet him.”

“DO WE?! OF COURSE WE DO! DOES HE PLAY VOLLEYBALL?! DO YOU THINK HE COULD JOIN THE TEAM?!” Hinata jumped up and down, slowly inching is way towards Daichi with an awestruck look on his face. He’s rather surprised Hinata isn’t more shocked.

“Yeah. Uh-no, sorry. He doesn’t play.” Daichi chuckled, patting an excited looking hinata on the head. “I don’t think he has work tomorrow, so tomorrow’s really the only time he can come to practice.”

“Work?” Asahi looked up from the towel he was using to wipe off his sweat. “How old is he? Is he a third year?”

“He’s a first year in college. Actually-I think he goes to the college in Sendai.”

Asahi exhaled. It would’ve been weird if someone as young as a highschooler were to already be working, when the could be enjoying their time in classes or clubs. “Where does he work?”

Flashbacks of all the drag shows and money being thrown around a stage whipped across Daichis mind like a slap to the face. He’s sure the team wouldn’t mind, especially because they already don’t mind him having a boyfriend, but he isn’t sure if (Y/n) was ok with him telling his team he was a...y’know.

“...I’m not sure?”

————

“Oh-hello Daikkun! How was practice today?” (Y/n) opened the passenger seat to his door, waiting for him to step inside. Sometimes he liked to pick him up from school before he had to get in makeup for a night show. That didn’t stop him from doing a little bit of eyeliner, though.

“It was nice. I told them they could meet you soon. The team.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, you don’t have any shows tomorrow, right? I kind of told them tomorrow.” Daichi scrubbed at the back of his neck, while (y/n) started up his car. “I know you’ve wanted to meet them.”

“You bet your ass! Well-I mean I have a show at like 2 am but that doesn’t matter. What time can I come? Are they nice? Didn’t you say there was one who was really short but could jump as high as me in stilettos?”

“Oi-! Focus on the road!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just excited. Anyways! Can you come to my show tonight? I’ll sneak you in.”

“Every time I go to one of your drag shows I get scared someone will kick me out since I’m 17.”

“Dude, have you seen yourself?!” (Y/n) gestures over to Daichi, putting emphasis on his thigh-region. “You’re big and muscly enough to at least pass as 18. It’s just a one year difference, when’s your birthday again?”

“I can’t believe you forgot, I’m hurt.” Daichi chuckled, fiddling with his backpack straps on his lap. “Besides, doesn’t your show run kind of late today? I don’t get to choose when to take my classes like you, (L/n). And I have morning practice, so I need to sleep.”

“You’re no fun, Daikkun.”

“Yeah, yeah, My house is over there.”

————

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone for the nth time that day. Fanning himself dramatically, he huffed and buried his face into his pillow. There was nothing to do today, and since he took morning classes, that left him with the rest of the afternoon to ponder, before working at night.

Was there something to do today? Was he forgetting something? He felt like he was, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

He glanced guilty at a tube of light pink lip gloss tossed haphazardly on his desk. A light bulb went off in his head.

Hastily throwing his covers off his body, (y/n) dragged himself over to his closet, grabbing the lip gloss in the process. He shuffled through hangers of clothes, finally pulling out a girls uniform he bought from when he was in high school. He never wore it to school, choosing to wear the boys uniform, but he thought it’d be nice to have when he was feeling fruity.

Slipping on the skirt and cardigan, he walked over to his desk mirror. He unscrewed the wand from the tube of lip gloss, tentatively applying it generously to his lips. He shrugged. He figured he could do some more makeup. It’s not like he’s busy today, right?

Carefully winging the tip of his eyeliner, he took a step back and admired himself in the mirror. He looked cute, yeah, but cute wasn’t really his style. It screamed ‘cute femboy’ rather than his usual ‘sexy ass drag queen dominatrix who could step on you with their sharp ass knife heels’

Damn. He was really about to go all out, huh? Time to bring out the butt pads and fake boobs.

————

Sighing contently in front of the mirror, (y/n) did a little spin, puffing out the length of his dress. Damn, he was hot. And with his impossibly high monster heels? Take me now.

(Y/n) was in the midst of taking a couple cute selfies in front of his full length mirror, when his screen went grey and a caller ID appeared.

‘Incoming call - Daikkun!! <3’

(Y/n) smiled unconsciously and clicked the bright green button with his thumb. He brought his phone to his ear and twirled a piece of his faux wig with his finger.

“Hi Daikkun! Did you need something, cutie?”

“Are you still coming over?” Daichis voice was hushed, and the slam of volleyballs rang though his speaker.

“Uh-what for?”

“To meet my team? Where are you?”

Fuck.

(Y/n) paled as he eyed himself in the mirror. He couldn’t show up looking like that. And it was too much to take off before Daichis practice ended. This was the only time he had to meet this team Daichi had always been talking about, and he’d completely forgot.

“...I can’t, I look like a clown.” (Y/n’s) voice came out a hoarse, nervous-chuckly whisper. He could taste the expensive red lipstick sitting on his lips.

“I’m sure you don’t look that bad.”

“Dude no, you don’t understand.” (Y/n) picked at the hem of his dress, the silicone boobs suddenly squeezing his chest a bit too tightly. “I’m in full drag.”

A silence rang out from both sides of the line. Daichi awkwardly chuckled.

“Ahaha uh-didn’t you say you didn’t have work today?”

“No! No I-I don’t have work til like-later later but like-I got bored and I forgot I was gonna meet your team today...sorry-“

“Well I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up in drag. I mean-they seemed pretty ok with knowing we’re a thing so...?”

(Y/n) gulped.

“...I guess I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”

—————

“Good work everyone!”

Ukai dismissed the players, leaving them to start rolling up the net and cleaning up the gym. Sugawara jogged up to the captain, dragging his mop lazily behind him.

“You said your boyfriend was gonna come today, right? Where is he?”

“Uh,” Daichi checked his wrist, before realizing he didn’t have a watch and fished out his phone. “He should be here any minute now-“

Just in time, the doors to the gym creaked open. Daichi smiled, leaving Suga to trail behind him curiously. He reached for the door handle, giving it a firm pull.

In stepped a boy with a long synthetic wig on, and heels that made him tower over Daichi easily. The sharp platforms of his heels clicked with each step he took, jewelry and accessories also bobbing up and down. And not to mention the ‘bobbling’ the silicone boobs made. Jeez, even if they were fake, they did still jiggle a hell of a lot.

(Y/n) bent down daintily, pressing a kiss onto Daichi’s cheek. Lipstick smeared on his sweaty cheek, leaving a dark imprint on the side of his face. (Y/n) seemed to finally take notice of all the astonished stares directed at him.

Should he A, stand beside his boyfriend awkwardly and pick at the loose thread of his dress or B, put on his confident drag persona and play it off?

He chose B.

(Y/n) smirked and leaned on on of his feet, placing a hand on his hip. “What? Like what you see, boys? I’m afraid I’m already taken, though.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Even with the confident display, (y/n) couldn’t help but stay somewhat behind Daichi, trying to shrink behind his 10 inch heels.

Immediately, a bald guy and a kid with a bleached strip on the front of his head erupted into excitement.

“Yo! Sick dress, dude!”

The atmosphere lightened up tremendously. (Y/n) let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well thank you, Mr. Bleach strip.”

The bald one, who introduced himself as ‘Tanaka’, slapped Daichi on the back. “Dude! What’s with all the surprises?! You tell us you have a boyfriend but you didn’t tell us he was a drag queen?!”

“I-to be honest I didn’t know he was in drag today-I didn’t know he had work.”

The closet door opened, with Hinata and Kageyama walking out from placing the net inside. Hinata gasped excitedly, while Kageyama froze. Hinata practically bolted towards the unknown person wearing heels and jumped up to his height. (Y/n) choked on air. This kid practically flew at him.

“Wow! Are you one of those ‘drag queens’ I see on tv sometimes?! Cool! That’s so cool! I-“

“ARE YOU QUIMCHI?!”

Hinatas throat closed up, along with (y/n) after hearing his stage name being called out so...dramatically. The boy continued.

“...F-FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW THEY DID ON THAT ONE CLUB ON THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH SHIN’ICHI HATORI?!”

Kageyamas booming voice rang through the gym as he pointed at (y/n) with wide eyes. Everyone’s gaze went from (y/n) to Kageyama, who was frozen in place. Even (y/n) was a tad bit confused.

The club he worked at recently had a special done on TV, and (y/n) was only in the background. He didn’t know how this...boy recognized him from that, or why he was even watching the drag special on that show in the first place.

“...yeah...yeah I am,” (y/n) smiled awkwardly and a boy with blond hair and glasses chuckled from somewhere in the gym.

The boy, with another guy with dark-green hair, walked out from the storage closet aswell. “Who knew the king was into that kind of stuff? Drag queens? No disrespect, ma’am-sir.”

Kageyama seemed to unfreeze just to glare at Tsukishima with a flushed face. “I-IM NOT! MY STUPID SISTERS JUST A BIG FAN, IS ALL!“

Kageyama turned to (y/n), and marched scarily fast towards him. He stopped abruptly and bowed his head so far it made (y/n) take a step back.

“M-MAY I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY SISTER?! AN-AND MAYBE A PHOTO TOO?!” Kageyama stiffly held his arms to his sides as he kept his head down. Small chuckles and snorts sounded from all around the gym, (y/n) even joining in and patting the black haired boys head.

“Sure thing, doll.”

————

“Your team was nicer than I thought.”

Daichi looked up questionably, fastening his seatbelt. (Y/n) started up his car. “What do you mean, nicer?”

“Well-I thought they were gonna be a bunch of meatheads banging their heads together. They’re actually more interesting than I thought they were going to be. Especially that Kageyama guy.”

Daichi smiled contently. “I’m glad you like them, then.”

A comfortable silence breezed by them, the only sounds audible being the hum of the car engine and the soft tapping of Daichis nails against the armrest. Daichi stole a glance at (y/n). His wig was discarded, placed neatly on the backseat with the wig cap and hairpins resting underneath it, and his hair was slightly damp and messy due to being constricted. His lipstick was a bit smeared from when he kissed him on the cheek, and droplets of sweat gathered near his hairline.

Daichi set his fingers lightly on the spot where the lipstick mark sat, caressing it softly so the lipstick wouldn’t smear more that it already has. He exhaled softly and shifted his gaze back down. He wouldn’t mind if he came to his practice again.

“...so wanna come to my show tonight, Daikkun?”

“It’s at 2am, no.”

—————

Extra:

Kageyama: miwa.

Kageyama: MIWA.

Miwa sighed and checked her phone, sliently scolding her brother for bothering her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes. She swore, if Tobio wanted a ride home from practice...

Miwa: mm

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Miwa: DUDE

Miwa: AJDJSKDKF

Miwa: HOW THE FUCK

Miwa: TELL ME YOU GOT QUIMCHIS AUTOGRAPH DJFJDJE

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Kageyama: I DID. I GOT ONE FOR U AND ONE FOR ME

Kageyama: HE WAS SO TALL TOO

Kageyama: LIKE HE WAS A HALF FOOT TALLER THAN ME EVEN WITHOUT THE HEELS

Miwa: WHY WAS HE AT UR PRACTICE WHSHD

Kageyama: apparently he’s dating my captain

Miwa: WHAT RHE FUCKCIDNEBRJ

——————

[and--you-are-weightless]

8/19/22

okay. i gotta get serious abt losing weight again. like its getting back to the point i feel uncomfortable in some of my clothes again, especially my bras. so im gonna start doing nightly journal entries taking abt what i ate today, any exercise i did, how i felt, and what my plans for the next day are. if i count calories or purge ill put that here too.

ill start them all w the date and tag them all "#shellys day" so u can black list that if u want. i know i havent reblogged pics in a while but ive just been in such an awful binging cycle and also getting most of my th1nspo from insta lately

anyway

today was really bad. i went to work decided on panda express for lunch. i always get kung pao chicken (290), chow mein (510), and some crab rangoons (190), so for lunch i had about 1,000 calories. it wasnt even very good and even tho i was full half way through i ate the whole thing anyway cuz im a disgusting pig. i spend the rest of my shift at work wishing i had got some poke instead so naturally even tho i wasnt hungry i stopped and got poke after work. i have no idea how many calories are in it, i at least get the poke salad option so theres just lettuce instead of rice but it was still way too much and again even tho i was full half way thru i made myself eat the rest. i also got some fried rice balls cuz im a fucking cow and decided to really make myself feel worse than i already did. after i ate i just laid down and kept feeling worse and worse til i went to throw up like maybe an hour or an hour and a half after eating. i still have two rice balls left i really want before i go to bed. i dont have any more easy high calorie foods left in the house other than the cookies my dad made but hopefully hell give those away to friends before i binge on them. im gonna try to do better tomorrow. im gonna go to the gym with my dad in the morning if i can make myself get up in time. im also supposed to see one of my partners tomorrow evening and he always orders taco bell super later at night so i know ill end up eating something there but if i can have a little discipline itll be the only thing i eat tomorrow. then starting saturday night after whatever i eat w my partner im gonna start a 36 hour fast. im gonna allow liquid calories but nothing crazy, just its ok to put a little creamer in my coffee or a spoon of sugar in my tea i mean. if i mess up im gonna restart til i make it thru the fast. once i make it thru im gonna go back on a low-carb diet and focus on protein and veggies again. carbs are always my downfall. once i start on pasta and potatos and bread and sugar i always ruin my diet and start binging on everything. maybe ill make more balerina soup again. idk but im gonna fix this. my current achievable goal is to lose 20 lbs by december. if i can lose about 2 lbs a week i can do that. i just gotta focus and stop binging. i can let myself have a cheat day every now and then when im w my friends or a partner but i have to stop rewarding myself with food and overeating when im depressed.