#ok actually i cried the most for jesse

[tittyinfinity]

I hate breaking bad

[pumpkin-cake]

hi this request isn’t for S4 i hope that’s ok!

but takes place in s2 where five strands everyone?

his spouse gets stranded a year and a bit before he gets there

and they made a career for themselves as a singer? maybe they have some sort of siren power or they are just naturally talented !?

but he finds them on a billboard or something that says where they will be performing next and they have a reunion where the reader has a love hate reaction to seeing him?!

sorry if this is a lot!!!

totally okay! i like all the other seasons better than 4 anyway lmao- this is actually an idea i have for my upcoming reboot of a five story i'd written, so i'm excited to sort of test it out! this turned out a bit more fem reader coded, but no she/her pronouns are used last i checked.

also my swiftie is coming out for this story, sorry to all you non-swifties ;-;

divider credited to @cafekitsune (lmk if you'd like me to remove it or anything of the sort!)

warnings: taylor swift (i love her actually but some people don't so)

The last thing you remembered was holding hands tightly with Five, and then he was ripped from your grasp, and you were falling ass first into an alleyway. Where did he go? Where were the others?

"Five..?!" You cried, hurrying out of the alleyway and bumping into somebody, who glared at you and walked off. You looked around and spotted a newspaper box, and you were over there before you could think. Your eyes scanned the paper. Year, year, what year was it?!

1960.

The sixties?! What the fuck?! All you could do was drop the newspaper to the floor, collapsing against the building wall beside you. You were the only one there. Some of your found-family wasn't even here yet, you'd imagine. There had to be some kind of time frame. You felt bad for whoever was put the farthest. Were you put the furthest in the past? What if you were super old by the time you found everyone again?! Well, you are already old, but what if you looked like it?!

All you could do was wait. You knew Five, he'd stop at nothing to save you and his family.

Unfortunately, there wasn't exactly anywhere to go. You looked pretty young and had no identification. You were wearing strange clothes, you didn't fit in. This felt like the apocalypse in a way, loads better obviously, but being alone? The worst feeling.

You had to stealth around, stealing and pilfering where you could. Sitting in alleys in the rain, starving. That was until you were dumpster diving behind some sort of bar. The heavy door creaked open and you froze inside the green box.

"Them damn raccoons again." A heavy southern accent was muffled to you, but you could tell it was a woman. You heard heels clicking on the ground and the dumpster opened and a broom whacked you in the head.

"Ouch!!!"

"Oh my heavens, yer a person!!!" The woman exclaimed, dropping the broom with a clatter. She reached over and helped you out of the trash, her nose crinkling. The woman was wearing a scantily clad flapper dress, a cute headpiece adorning her blonde hair. "What're ya doin' inside the trash, sweetie?" She asked with worry, brushing some garbage off you like it was nothing.

"Uh...I'm so sorry, I can go." You apologized, ready to get out before she called the cops like everyone else.

"Oh no, baby, no. Here, you come in, we'll getcha somethin' to eat." She assured you, ushering you inside. Some other women (and some men) that were dressed similarly didn't seem to mind. "Most of us here, came from poor too, we'll take ya in." She smiled, taking you to the back and providing you with a meal.

"Thank you...." You said, completely shocked at her kindess.

"Oh! Right, my name's Jess, nice to meetcha." She cooed politely, and you gave her your name through bites of food, making her giggle. "Tell me, sweetie, can ya sing? Dance? Anything of the sort?"

You paused. A golden opportunity was just presented to you. 1960. Some of your favorite artists haven't even been born yet. Not to mention your power dealt with your voice, similar to Allison's. You were frequently named The Siren in Umbrella Academy material. And, you didn't have any stigma to using it like Allison did.

"I write songs." You blurted, and a wide smile came across her face.

"Do ya?! Oh, you'll have to show Bruce then. He's the owner of the place." She hummed, and soon you were cleaned up and sitting in a private room on a nice sofa with a guitar in front of a sleazy looking man who looked like he'd run some kind of club with sexy women around to exploit.

"Alright, sweetheart. Show me whatcha got." He said, a fat cigar between his greasy looking fingers.

You took a deep breath. "Um...so...this song is called...." Shit, you had to think. You didn't have much time to come up with the song to sing. You had to pick a song that was popular in the modern era, maybe it would be good here too? But maybe you should stick to country. You were in Dallas, Texas after all. Not to mention you'd need to change some words if needed.

"C'mon, don't have all day." Bruce took a puff of his cigar, blowing the smoke into your face.

"Um. It's called...Mean." You blurted, and began to strum the guitar. Taylor Swift had been a hit as a country singer, this was a good idea in your mind. You were careful to control your power, and also make it believable. A southern accent and changing the word 'football' into 'baseball'.

As you sang, Bruce stopped focusing on his cigar and was completely focused on you and the shitty guitar you managed to make sound so good.

You finished the song and had a job immediately, with a small lie that you were 18. No liquor, but you could have beer! Thus began your career in that small club, becoming friends with the women who worked there. Soon enough you had the money for a small apartment. You despised the creepy looks men at the club gave you. All you could think of to continue was Five. He'd find you, right? Surely!

But after years? It was tiring. Dancing in sexy outfits in front of men with cigars, smoke and alcohol filling the air. The harsh lights on you while you had to make acoustic country covers of Taylor Swift songs. The more sexual songs like 'Dress' and 'Don't Blame Me' were your least favorite. You'd just have to withstand it. For days. And days. And days. And weeks. And years.

Five crashed into Dallas after witnessing the second apocalypse, with his hand empty. He forgot which sibling he'd been holding onto, but he knew he had you in his other hand.

"Shit, shit, shit!" He had hissed to himself, looking around and calling your name desperately. He'd never admit how panicked he currently was, and composed himself immediately upon the meeting of Elliott, some weird nerd.

"Alright, before I do anything." Five walked up to the man, looking up at him with fierceness. "Do you know anything at all about someone by the name of (Y/n) (L/n)." It was more a demand than a question. "If I find out you've been lying, I'll kill you." He threatened.

Elliott cracked immediately, telling Five he'd seen a billboard of that name recently. He didn't listen to music much, but their name was everywhere. Five was instantly gone, and was amazed to see your face on a huge billboard. You? A star? Not that you weren't talented, you absolutely were! You just weren't that kind of person. He asked around and found the club, teleporting in without an issue.

Ordering a drink, he sat as close to the stage as possible. A sleazy man you would absolutely despise walked out with a grin, golden teeth shining under the light as he began to speak. About you. Five clenched the glass of whiskey in his hand. This asshole looked so smug. Like you were his property.

Then you walked out with a shining silver guitar. He felt his breath leave him. "My God..." he hissed under his breath. You were gorgeous. He wasn't a fan of the makeup on your face, red lips and such. But you were glowing, looking so confident in yourself. You started singing 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift, and he understood the situation quick. The folks around were immediately entranced, and it made him sick. You were using your power to reel them in, keep you popular and making money.

Your eyes met his and you faltered for just a moment, but no one else noticed as you kept singing. After the song was over, you gave him a look and walked backstage. Within seconds he was back there, so relieved to finally see you again.

"A singer, huh?" He said with a lopsided smile nobody else in his family got to see. "Not what I expected."

Your face dropped a tad, tears filling your eyes. "That's all you have to say to me?" You asked, and Five panicked. He hurried over and very gently held your face.

"No no, sweetheart, I'm sorry if that came off wrong. I'm so glad to see you." He quickly said, letting you fall into him for an embrace. "How long was I gone for?"

"Three years." You murmured, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, I'm here now. You looked really good up there." He said softly. He decided to not tell you about the upcoming apocalypse. At least, not yet. When everyone was together.

"Thanks." You said with a weak smile, not at all letting go. Last time you let go, you were without him for 3 years. You didn't ever want to let go again.

fuck im sorry that ending was so rushed, but if it wasn't i wouldn't have had this out

[igotanidea]

Dating Sam Winchester headcanons.

Requested: I was wondering if you could write something supernatural with Sam Winchester, what kind of boyfriend would Sam be? Thank you anon, made that as expanded headcanons starting from meeting and going further in the relationship.

A little NSFW in point 16.

***

1.Bookshops dates

I mean come on, all things considered I am pretty sure you would meet him in the library rather than any place else. And even if you weren’t actually reaching for mythological monsters encyclopaedia or the yearbook of the city from 1456, you were bound to meet at the counter. It wasn’t that big bookshop after all and Sam, with his tall, muscular silhouette was definitely filling most of the space, forcing you to sneak under his arm to get what you were aiming for. Not that you complained, cause he does smell good.

2. Soul longing – as silly as that may sound. Ok listen up. He had women, that’s for sure. But one night stands is only good for so long. And unlike Dean he needed stability from the beginning. Sam is not a player nor a playboy. And as for you? You’re not just gonna jump into the bed of a very handsome, tall and broad shouldered man you met briefly while buying a book, right?

Even if you can imagine so many things he could do with those hands….

Even if you can tell just by looking at him that he’s got enough experience and skills to keep you up all night and –

“Miss? Miss are you all right?”

Damn, seem like you just spaced out in front of the guy who’s been currently eyeing you with those deep eyes piercing right into your soul.

Impossible to forget and even more impossible to let go.

3. Cliché scenario – you actually became a part of team free will after getting into a demon related accident serving the part of a lady in distress perfectly. Got hurt so bad the boys Sam felt guilty enough to look for you for a couple weeks while getting too attached.

4. Obviously wanting to keep you out of the family business. Too bad he got himself a persistent badass, who refused to sit cases out. You may not be a hunter, but you’re a girl. And who’s better than a woman when it comes to making scenes and getting man to mansplain to the poor, innocent soul that knows nothing? The first time you faked cried he fell for it all the way and never questioned your skills again.

5. Probably making you get an anti-possession tattoo. Just for safety, of course. And holding your hand all time while getting it done, caressing your palm in that special reassuring way. And then kissing it better after, regardless of the place it was inked on.  

6. Funny thing he was hesitant to put a tag on your relationship. At first. Can’t blame him given all that happened to his mother and Jess. But his emotional side finally took over and he blurted something in the middle of an argument.

“You’re staying here tonight.”

“The hell I am, Sam.”

“I’m not asking.”

‘You’re not my boss.”

“Well I am your boyfriend!”

“Did you just-? Sam? Sam, did you just - ?”

You never got to finish that sentence. And just that one time you stayed behind.

Behind being on the backseat, no further.

7. Bantering over silly stuff while making Dean crazy, cause since you two got together there’s no one to bring him pie.  

8. Knowledge duels – as long as you pick the theme, cause no way you’re going against him in history or demonology.  It is however possible to beat him in popculture or modern cinematography.

“How am I supposed to know all those –“

“Educate yourself Sammy.”

“Oh I will educate you on something –“

9. Merciless teasing from Dean about stuff that should not ever be his business.

“Hey, whose underwear is that?”

“Brought you two some protection.”

“Hey maybe we can get a threesome?”

“Is that a hickey on your neck Y/N? God, girl, you are loud.”

(but we all know that’s the way Dean’s inner soft side is showing)

10. Doing research while laying head on his chest, tracing patterns on his skin. (making him distracted and locked up in another room until you start to behave.)

11. Doing research in the various libraries. You have no idea but he raises his gaze from the book way too often to actually comprehend any of the text. The way you are frowning, scrunching your nose and the way your eyes shine every time you come upon a clue or a helpful fact seem to be more interesting.

12. Fights – oh, damn, it was bound to happen right?

Arguing with Sam is impossible. He always keeps his cool, not letting the blood boil no matter how many needles you gives him. Sometimes it feels like he’s wearing that stupid armour turning into stone just to infuriate you.

But not for long, cause Sammy can’t stand to see you hurt or broken. That’s not him. It doesn’t matter if you started the fight (you’re being reckless, you’re gonna get killed, you need some rest) or he was the part to initiate it (you’re not the hunter, I know better, I’ll handle it) he’ll be all up for communication. Talking through.

Being a Winchester comes with toughness and roughness sometimes, but Sam doesn’t deny having feelings he want to work on. With you.

It’s not a perfect relationship but you’re patching it up with all the best and most resistant fabric.

13. Subtle hand holding while driving on a hunt. You may be in the backseat while both brothers take the front ones, but who cares. The blank between the driver and shotgun is for something, right? And who cares about the gearbox?

14. Forehead kisses and cuddling – you have actually seen Sam right? If that’s not a giant teddy bear than I don’t know who is. Definition of safety and warmth. Just imagine nuzzling into him with those strong arms around you keeping you safe from any demon, angel, witch, wendigo, shapeshifter or whatever else monster might come for you.

15. Steamy make out session in the impala just to get some privacy. Honestly I believe at some point this would be used as a threat for alone time.

"Get out Dean.”

“ Mmm. Nope. Not happening. I got stuff to do here.”

“I said get out.”

“Make me.”

“Well I think you should go and check on your car before I take care of the backseat.”

Wide eyes, rushing out and not getting back for hours.

Mission completed.

16. Getting intimate with Sam is indescribable. You don’t even need words and yet he seems to understand everything your body tries to convey. Soft, slow, sensual and tender love making while looking into your eyes, refusing to let your gaze drop? Tracing your body and kissing all over your soft skin? Making you feel fragile, small and delicate no matter your size?

All done.

I see Sam as a soft dom. He could break your boundaries easily and probably would, but never to the point of hurting you.

Rough play, BDSM, kinks, making love on any flat surface possible? Not exactly his style.

Stretching you out, wrapping your legs around his waist, pressing you into the mattress, marking you? Absolutely.

He’s fine with pleasuring you, getting to know what turns you on (hitting and finding all the sensitive spots that makes you mewl and rake nails down his body), never failing to make you see stars.

He may not be talking too much and not use a lot of dirty talk, but hey, a few thrusts, a few flicks of his tongue, his muscles flexing under your fingersand the feel of him so freaking deep and you forget something such as words exist.

17. Getting just the right amount of aftercare cuddles, kisses and hugs. Duties are calling and Sam may be a bit of a workaholic, but you’re on top of the “to-do-list.” Taking just the right amount of time to help you get back to reality, getting your floating soul back into your thoroughly loved out body by caresses, kisses, touches, strokes. Whatever you need.

He loves you.

[walkingaftermidnight07]

Chain of Thorns: all my main thoughts

yes hello, i wanna make a large post abt this bc i just need to list everything out since i have A LOT of thoughts

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING

SERIOUSLY

DONT READ FURTHER UNLESS YOUVE READ THE BOOK

Things I Liked:

basically every moment where we got to see Will. I was laughing at so many things that Will said and I missed having that, since I will never get enough of Will's humor.

Seeing Jesse interact with the Merry Thieves. It made me so happy and I love seeing Jesse's dry humor mixed in with the Merry Thieves; he fits in with them so well.

Just human Jesse in general. Everything about him made me so happy. He was so kind and brave and quite funny.

Getting to see more of Anna/Ari. During the first book we got almost nothing of them, partially because of Ari being poisoned but also because Anna was kind of not in the main circle yet.

Christopher visiting Grace and them getting to know each other. It made me so happy that there was someone who could see past what Grace had done and could give her a second chance, and their bond over science was so sweet.

Thomastair. That's it. No explanation needed.

Ghostwriter I thought was pretty well done, but the whole "them kissing would cause Lucie to see demon stuff" was kind of unnecessary.

Jem being there for Grace and talking to her to help her through

The Watchers were a really cool plot twist I wasn't expecting

honestly the james turning on the lamp on pg 127 caused a lot of pterodactyl screeching which was fun

the Herondaisy scene in chapter 23 hehe

Effie every time she opens her mouth

Also Bridget who is my queen. she is my love, my life, my star.

Eugenia Lightwood just existing was fabulous.

Esme being the most random plot thread ever which caused a lot of unexpected laughter

"Alastair why are you so stupid I brush my teeth dont tell anyone" LMAO

Alastair with the baby

Again, Thomastair.

Matthew's eventual acceptance of Alastair into the group

Cordelia outsmarting Lilith with her deal

Belial having a weird obsession with being crowned prince of London or whatever

Also Belial's weird bird demon friend made me CACKLE

Bridgestock blackmailing Charles. if i'm honest, i think it was a great part of the plot bc it did kind of give Charles a slight redemption (but also him being kind of outted is also really bad) but i think it was great in kind of allowing Flora be able to accept Ari without fear of Maurice

Lucie and Cordelia talking abt Cordelia's boobs lmaooo/The Wicked Queen Cordelia

Grace's entire arc through this book

the different meanings behind "cordelia ran"

Things that made me sobbbb:

Will becoming a sort of father figure to Jesse

The Merry Thieves helping Matthew with his drinking

Cordelia and James when they finally confessed for real

Matthew's entire arc with his drinking and telling the truth

Christopher's death

"you are my unfinished business" IM SOBBING STILL

Christopher's death

The scene where they see that Kit's dead

Kit being dead

Intermission: Grief

the fact that kit was in fact dead and not going to come back at the end (i was in denial for the entire second half)

Matthew and James while in Edom

Thomas coming out to his family

Alastair telling Cordelia that he's always afraid for her with her being the wielder of Cortana

Again. Kit's death. (i cried a lot ok its been an emotional couple of days)

Things I didn't like:

The whole love triangle. I still don't think that Matthew truly loved Cordelia and i never believed it would be an actual love triangle

the fact that the truth about the bracelet had to be kept secret for so long. it felt kind of unnecessary. there were other ways to draw out the plot than that.

the fact that tatiana exists

Kit's death. I feel like it's so unfair that of all people, he's the one to die. it didn't feel well written, it felt like it had to happen bc she couldn't kill the queer characters and Kit was the only main character left that she COULD kill.

Grace's entire plot being kind of left without an ending.

The lack of mourning/a funeral for kit. (since we didnt get enough mourning, i think im going to write it bc i want to suffer for the purpose of completing the loose ends)

the pacing. the entire plot felt so oddly paced, and it wasn't as much of a mystery like choi or chog.

again, why christopher? i feel like matthew would've been a better choice, or perhaps sona.

magnus kind of getting written out so early

though i love our gay couples and their accepting families, it is a little bit unrealistic. i get that the point is that this particular batch of the families are very kind people in comparison to what their families become a little farther down the road(ie Robert, maryse, etc), but it still feels a little bit unrealistic.

i felt like the whole lucie and cordelia struggling with their friendship thing was a little bit too much to add into this already very full book. (although i loved the wicked cordelia reveal that was fun)

i feel like we didn't fully get the wrap up at the end that we needed. we didn't see enough of them after the battle, as they came to terms with their losses and their wins and how they would continue their lives.

also we never really got to see jesse meeting his cousins/aunts and uncles and i wish we'd gotten that.

Questions I still have:

bridget? whats going on with her? theres a throwaway line in the coda mentioning something is odd abt her, but thats it??

grace. what is going to happen to grace? i wish we could perhaps see her and figure out if she's alright.

im still confused abt the lightwood line. i guess they're trying to say that alexander is going to continue it? (that actually kind of makes sense, genetics wise tho, cuz alexander looks like cecily and alec and izzy are supposed to inherit that)

will we ever get a revised family tree?

blackthorn line???

Rupert's ghost?

fairchild line? am i correct to assume that its going to tie into charlotte's pregnancy reveal at the end?

I'm sure I have more thoughts but I can't remember them at this present moment and I didn't write them down but these are all the ones I wrote down.

lmk what y'all think abt this book

[intolerancecare]

I look like a monkey now.

Anyway...

I worked most of the time. I just have to bear his presence at work. I only go to his area because of work. Aside from that I only see him during filipino get together.

In all those times he will do something like, while we were singing videoke at momi juliet's, he stares and then caress my nose in front of other people. (because it's flat) Always awkward, surprised. He also would sing. He would caress my hair in public. He's crazy. First time, I wore civilian clothes at work he followed me up to the back office. He would sometimes call inviting to meet him. I just cried. Because he tied me to himself. I am alone not because of him. I am just a friend to the likes of kuya Mon. If he didn't ask and pursued, he is just another kuya Mon or kuya Antonio and the other kuya Angelo. He is an absentee, but I like his family in picture. His wife reminds me of Ka Mercy. Oh, I also like Kuya whyn. A loyal family man (I hope I'm not wrong) I like his family in pictures but I know he had more time with Cherry. And I also like Mau. We jammed. Impromptu. I actually don't know if my lyrics were correct. Angel became Anna eventually. I lost Homer. Jaimie have questions that I also can't answer maybe not for him. I know he watched.

Every time he will approach me, I will try to make the interaction friendly and same as the others, but he will do something that will make you feel that you are in a deeper relationship. Duh. When we had the same day of vacation, I did not ever plan to see him. I just thought that it's what I should do. To get away. That's all I needed. Fuck you! IT. If I am tied to him because of this. This is what he is. What would the other employees tell about him? He's kind? He has clean WWW name? What did the tall guy said?

I haven't talked to him for quite some time. I had to because of work. I said we're a team now. He said let's meet at mcdo after. Ok. No need to go straight home. It can be brief. Just to make amends and to close everything. It was at the walkway! He made me wait for a long time. What would you think? Was he trying to sneak out? He can actually, invite Jo if he wanted. He came after almost an hour. I was so angry, I run to Marina. Fuck you! I just want to end those amicably. Establish that a friend will not caress your hair in public. Will not sing to you. Invite you and act differently.

Fuck you this is rehab? Fuck you! How many porn star have you sent to rehab?

I think that was when I decided to face him. I talked to him on phone. Concubinage? Fuck you! I just know that I needed to remove that shameful, uncomfortable feeling because he clearly looks like the one who rejected me. At everyone's eyes. He can touch me then shame me in public. I never give him the right. If you are me, You can shout at him? Isn't he like the molester where you will ask yourself how much is your fault? I know that talking to them was a mistake. I lost my arab friends too. I talk to everyone. I make friends with everyone.

I had another chance to interact with Carlos. I liked their zone. I like EJ. I like Jess, Makat, Catherine, even cel. They were Dina's I also find Aileen funny. Carlos mumbling might appear offensive but he was practicing photography. I can share a lot to him plus he plays online game. He is like my brothers and my cousin. I mentioned his kind to my Kuya during my vacation. The interaction became often. I made the first move. I told this to Arjun. I hoped he would stop. HE IS NOT MY FRIEND. He just laugh.

I courted Carlos. Arjun didn't stop. He still sings. He stays long at my area even when not needed. He cleans my area. He knows that Carlos will reject me? He was sure? He was testing me? He was sure? How much respect does he have for his friend? Because I know he did not respect me. He won't stop because his friend doesn't like me? HE WAS JUST A COMPANION. Like Kuya Mon, CJ, Michelle and others.

He effing offered the spoon that he used to eat when he offered his lunch. At the cafeteria. FUCK YOU! He, an innocent God's descendant? Who is more disrespectful? me? Fuck you all.

Did you protect an effing evangelist?

Fuck you all.

You all bitch killer?

[jodiie-leighanne]

Three hours. Three of the longest hours, I spent them standing over her grave. 

Not moving as I took in the fresh soil, arrangements of flowers surrounding her. She would have loved it, that’s one of the reasons she loved birthdays; Bouquets merlin would buy her hundreds every damn time. Secretly the attention was something she adored. All eyes being on her. 

My Jessie Malfoy, the most angelic being there is, was. Now she is a real angel, not earthbound any longer. Forever in the sky now. 

Taken away from me, from us too soon. My heart wasn’t ready. I don’t think it ever would be. 

Heavy downpour soaks my suit melding with the tears staining my cheeks. Eyes puffy and swollen the way they have been since I lost her.

My beautiful, beautiful girl. 

Fuck, I loved her more than I can even express. 

The way she hummed whilst cooking, how she would wiggly her toes when something tasted nice, the happy dances when I got home. How the sun kissed her skin, how I kissed it. Almond scents that got caught in the wind as I trailed behind her. How positive she was, balancing out my pessimistic self. Everyone adored her, nobody said a bad word about my baby.

Women wanted to be her, Men wanted to have her. Yet, she chose me. 

“Draco, mate the cars are leaving” Blaise’s tone was soft, careful with his approach.

“Ok” making zero attempts to move away.

“Honey, you need to come with us now” Mother chimes in, rest a palm on my tensed shoulders stroking the damp material

“Come on mate, let’s get you home and dry” Blaise again.

“You don’t have to come to the wake, you can just go to your mums” Oh Theodores here too how lovely, all gathering around at my expense.

“I can’t, I-I can’t leave her, it’s cold out here” I just want to hold her, she is always chilly. Especially at night, she would cling to me as well as being draped in a fluffy blanket and duvet “She hates thunder, s-she needs me” 

“Draco plea..”

“No, she’ll be all alone if I go home. T-then so will I” After a lot of pleading, I left. Practically being held down in the car to stop me jumping ship to go back to her. How could I just abandon her like that. 

Choosing not to attend the wake went down well, everyone understood I needed space. I wasn’t ready for the ‘I’m sorry for your lose’ or sympathetic eyes. It would make me want to poke out my own. Mother, father and my friends came home with me. I know they said it was to be here if I need them but it’s more to keep a tab on me. 

Blaise hasn’t left since the day she passed. She was his best friend, he took it hard too. Jessie was a midwife She actually delivered the Zabini twins, it was meant to be us next. 

Her death was tragic, an unfortunate accident. 

People tried to reassure me she is always by my side, I want to believe it. That’s how I’ve found myself in her favourite baggy t-shirt, perched against the headboard. Staring at a picture of us in Monaco, knee deep in the ocean. Blissfully happy, we was. It wasn’t just for show, both of us were beyond enamoured with the other. 

“Is it true baby, Are you still here?” Thinking I cried enough the past weeks to dehydrate myself, apparently there’s plenty left. Thumb brushing over her face behind the glass “I-I can’t feel you, please show me you are a-anything”

Nothing happened. 

“Of course it’s a lie” I chuckled darkly, mood switching suddenly. 

“How could you? H-how could you fucking die”

“You left me, you promised me you’d never leave me” index poking the photo now, that hard it’s cracking. Blood trickles over our faces.

“Fuck jess, I-I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you have fought, you didn’t fight to stay with me” Shooting up from the bed, launching the frame. Smashing that image of the past.

“Draco, you need to calm down” Blaise, Theo and Pansy stood in the door way. Mother not far behind. 

“No, she l-left – she left me, died. Fucking died to get away” Tugging, pulling at my roots anything to fucking feel. I was numb.

“All I’m left with is memories, pictures and clothes that smell like her” Swinging open the cupboard, hands grasping at anything belonging to her. Discarded it to the ground.

“Fuck this, she didn’t stay so I don’t need her or any of this junk” Tearing and shredding as I went, moving to the vanity table I cleared it on one sweep. Screams sounded, mixed with sobs. Pansy covered her mouth using her palm. 

“Draco stop your going to regret this, Blaise get him please” Mother begged weeping as she held the other girl close. 

“Mate put it down, come on let’s talk” Theodore grabbed my forearm stopping me from continuing as Blaise crept closer trapping me from behind. Thrashing, kicked and throwing my head back as I struggle to get out their grips. A crack echoed, so I know I hit someone. 

A slap hit my face as I was pinned by my wrist to the bed, blinking to clear my vision I saw the identical mane to mine. Father holds his weight with me breathing heavily along with the others.

“Now that is enough boy, you are destroyed we know. Jessie would hate to see you this way, so for crying out loud get a grip let us build you back up” Lower lip quivering as I gave up the battle I’d lost. Slowly father moved off me as I came back to my sense, exploring the room in horror.

“No, no no no. I did-i didn’t do that did I” As quick as I stood I hit the ground again, multiple arms holding me. As a pained cry wrecked my throat, I couldn’t stop them coming. 

“Come on its ok, Theo repair everything. I’ve got him” Mumblings of spells came from my father as he held me on his lap like a child cradled close to him. 

As I left myself collapse into the only people I had now. 

None of them will ever be my Jessie. 

[koolaid8108]

Alright I just binge watched all of totj soooo here are my thoughts :3

HOLY MOTHER OF-

THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE TO SAY THE LEAST

THE ANIMATION, THE LIGHTING

DID I MENTION THE ANIMATION??

I cried. I am still crying. I expected to cry. That is my excuse.

Imma try to keep this in order

episode 1 was adorable <3 Even if I was worried that Ahsoka's mother would die infront of 2 yo Ahsoka's eyes... (I don't remember them saying an explicit age for her, I'm just going off of what I saw)

ep 2-4 were freaking awesome bro. I do not love Mace or Dooku like... AT ALL. They're respectable characters, I just don't like them. The fact that I say that and these episodes still kept me more than entertained.

Yas. Just yes 💅💅

Is it bad that I related a lot to Dooku throughout all of that.... probably yeah-

The similarities between Dooku and Anakin are killing me. Like ACTUALLY eating me from the inside it hurts someone help.

EPISODE 5 HOLY CRAP

I miss the chaos siblings 😭😭😭

Love that they fixed Ahsoka's earliest design

And they put Rex in his phase 1 armor with his season 7 look like 😭😭 I LOVE IT

I WANNA MARRY THE ANIMATION IS THAT WEIRD???

When I tell u I shrieked when Rex mentioned Jesse I mean that I yelled so loud I think I woke up my sleeping family-

And then he SPOKE and apologized for hitting lil Soka 😭😭

Most likely the last time we'll see or hear Jesse on screen 😭😭😭

I would like to believe Fives and Echo were also there even if I have no proof of this

I will just will it to be.

The end of this episode was just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

mmMmMmmmMm episode sixxxx

As a HUGE fan of the Ahsoka novel (respectfully) ...wtf was that??

Ok that's harsh. IT WAS GOOD! I THINK IT WAS OK, OKAY?? the brother (sixth I believe but I could be wrong bout that) was awesome. Definitely embodied the character from the novel.

To summarize, this was not what I was expecting.

They whitewashed my girl Kaeden, and Miara is no more...

The book was sooo much better, and I get that, books are usually better between the movie or TV series.

... I was just expecting more, which ig was my fault for exceeding my expectations... but still.

THIS SERIES WAS AMAZING TO SAY THE LEAST I LOVE IT I HOPE U DID TOO NOW GN IM GONNA GO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP MAY THE FORCE BE WITH U ALL HABAHAHAVAVVWW <3 <3 <3

[angst-fairygodmother]

We all know that Leon probably dies not much longer after Honey. Probably a few months. Enough time to make sure everyone's going to be alright (Trick situation: the kids were always going to be alright without their parents).

Selina is angry/jealous that her brother and daughter can see her parents at will. She ignores that they have to kill themselves to do it. Sure he can conjure them, but she's conflicted about that too.

Sunny becomes obsessed with visiting Honey at least until Leon dies. He uses the guise of Klaus. He wants to keep her for himself. Sometimes he presents himself as a little boy or a teenager to make up for all the grief he put her through with his addictions and disappearing for two years.

Nikolai takes their deaths harder than anyone expected. ESPECIALLY Leon which takes Selina by complete surprise. He finds it hard to communicate what it is that is causing him so much grief, but it's really because Leon's been his dad longer than Sergei ever was. Leon always told Nik that he was very easy to love.

Luther is also devastated. Leon and Honey were his first friends outside of the academies. Actually they were Sloane's first friends too. And it was reciprocated, Honey did not have actually confidantes outside her sister and Leon until she met Sloane. They were both worried the other would judge them on their pasts.

Funny enough, I suppose this is the same situation for Diego and Lila too?

Irina and Lev and JT are the most ok with everything. Their period of grieving is far shorter than their parents and uncle and great uncles/aunts.

Leon's heaven is just a dingy flat in White Chapel above a Greek restaurant and Gracie with the flowers in her hair.

Now your turn: Jess and Ollie and their family's reactions 🥹😮‍💨

😭 I love this, but also hate it. Why would you do this to me?

Jess and Ollie have a similar timeline actually.

They live well into their eighties, or maybe even nineties (probably nineties. I like the word nonagenarian better). Time to not only meet but really have relationships with grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Jess dies first. Of something slow enough that she has time to say goodbye, but not painful. Just age?

Of the next generation, I think the three that take it worst are her middle daughter, her and Ollie’s son, and Sean (after all, she was something of a mentor figure for him for most of his life, and their similar interests kept them close. Although actually I think he takes the years leading up to her death, where age has stopped her from being able to take pictures anymore harder.)

Her eldest daughter is very stiff upper lip about it, and feels like it’s her job now to take care of the others, and she only cries after she’s sure her siblings, cousins, and their kids are all okay.

Cormac probably handles it best out of them, both because he met her later in life which gives them a unique relationship, and because of his scientific approach to things. (Plus if he’s anything like his father, he has the chance to talk to her again.)

I have no idea on the grandkids and great grandkids. Some are devastated, others take it better.

Ollie dies within a year. Suddenly in his sleep.

His official cause of death is a heart attack, but everyone in the family knows that it was actually a broken heart, it just took a while. 

The family is equally saddened, but are able to take comfort that they’ll be reunited.

This is the one that gets their eldest and youngest daughters, the latter probably at some point begs any/all of the folks in the family that can to bring him back, so they can have one more conversation, one more hour with him.

(I tried to think of how Selina and Nikolai would feel, if they outlived their other halves, but I think that is too much pain. 

[daceydeath]

Family Breakfast

Paring: Jesse x reader

Words: 863

Warnings: none this is just fluff

You awoke with your head aching and Jesse's side of the bed was empty, the sheets long since cooled from his warmth. Last night had been the first night you had ventured out since his return a few days ago. It was to be just the normal thing grabbing a quick dinner, going to 79s, having a few drinks with his brothers and unwinding. How hard had you gone last night? Surely he hadn’t gone back to the barracks the 501st were planet side for 2 more standard weeks. Groaning you slowly dragged yourself upright noticing a sweet note with a collection of pills and a glass of water on your bedside table.

Take these when you wake up babe Kix said they will fix you up in no time x

You grinned Jesse always took such good care of you, as though you were the most precious jewel known to man. Heading to the fresher to shower you started feeling slightly more human.

Soft noises were coming from down the hallway. Making you think Jesse was attempting to keep himself amused while you slept. Throwing one of his clean workout shirts over your underwear you surfaced from your room to hushed whispers and muffled laugher. Yeah you didn’t remember anyone else staying over, but hopefully you hadn’t been too much of a handful and had forced Jesse to enlist help to get you home. Sudden shame tinged you cheeks pink as you tried to remember everything you could have done last night.

Entering the lounge you encountered neat stacks of armour along the far wall and bodies of several troopers either lounging on your couch or on the floor or quietly joking around near the kitchen. Jesse shushing them while he poured mugs of caf, Hardcase fliping flatcakes and helping Rex on quantities of ingredients for something he was sifting into a large bowl.

Tup and Fives were sitting at the table watching and joking while Kix, Dogma and Echo were still lounging when your presence was noticed.

“Looking good” whistled Fives waggling his eyebrows at you “sometime I think Jesse might be onto something getting a full-time girl”. The attention of the others turn to you as you realise that Jesse’s shirt is probably a little too short for you to be wearing in company you flicked him the middle finger scowling playfully as Jesse smacked his brother on the back of he head as he made his way to you.

“Feeling ok Cyare you had a big night” his tone soft as one of his hand cupped your face his lips meet yours in a soft chaste kiss.

“I’m ok baby, the pills have helped” you mumble quietly resting your forehead to his.

“I told him they would” Kix interjected as everyone made there way toward to table

“I’ll be honest I don’t remember inviting your brothers round for breakfast though” gesturing around vaguely. He chuckled leading you to the table to sit you down beside Echo placing a hot caf in front of you.

“Yeah well you were a little drunk last night pretty girl” Jesse murmured into your hair “you wanted flatcakes so badly when we left 79s you cried when we couldn’t go to get any.”

The boys sniggered making you pout dramatically. Once again getting smack on the back of the head except this time by Echo. You had obviously been fairly drunk last night so it wasn’t a total surprise that you had made a bit of a tit of yourself.

“it was pretty cute” Kix quipped patting you head as he passed behind you to take his seat making you blush. Tup nodded in agreement as he and Dogma took there seats too.

“so to make up for not getting them last night I demanded Hardcase and Rex come round and make me flatcakes for breakfast?” you mused making the boys chuckle at your confused expression.

“No I offered” Hardcase hollared from the kitchen grinning almost gleefully “ plus the Captain needs the practice” Rex hummed in agreement as he checked his dish in the oven.

“They all invited themselves over after that” Jesse shrugged.

“Food that taste like food, who wouldn’t want such luxury” Dogma drawled raising his mug to you

“In our defence, you didn’t specify a time you just said breakfast” Rex murmured apologetically as he lowered a very full plate of Kessinnamon Rolls. The sweet smell wafting around the room causing your mouth to water.

“It’s fine Rex I promise besides a family breakfast sounds lovely” you smiled up at him as you started putting syrup on your flatcakes. “I would have been awake as soon as I smelt this anyway it looks and smells amazing”

The rest of breakfast was a mix of quiet eating and gentle banter. It made you smile watching you lover and his brother interact around something as normal as a meal. Joking, laughing, and occasionally stealing each other’s food the way a family of boys would. Their smiles came easily corners of almost identical eyes crinkling as they spoke. You were grateful for them after all they were your boys and you adored them.

A/N: Thank you for reading. It has been probably over a decade since I have actually written fiction and I'm very rusty. Any sort of feedback is appreciated truly.

[the-girl-who-cried-wolf]

ok @johermione now that's i've read it 5 times, cried over it and smiled all day brighter than the sun, i can compile together just some of my fav parts and thoughts about your literati fic...

He should probably stop putting those behind his ears, but the gesture is doing too much for his ego for him to give it up. It's silly, but he feels like an actual writer when he does that, empty coffee mugs, books everywhere, the company of words, city lights and air.

I absolutely loved the utterly human action of putting a pencil behind your ear, it's the most uselessly wonderful thing to do! and the imagery of that end line is amazing <3

He may be quiet on the outside, but he's bursting with words on the inside.

idk how to explain but this line just hit different. everything about it is just so deep and meaningful, and all captured in such a simple and beautiful sentence...also a huge relate for me (and the images and feelings created by the word "bursting" is just incredible to me)

New York feels stale on his skin which is to be expected considering how New York's been under his skin for a long time.

as soon as i read this line i just thought "what should be over burrowed under my skin" so yeah

"You, me. We don't talk with words."

this kind of love and friendship is just perfect, i love the chemistry you showed between them (see following point as well)

"Aaand I'm rambling and you're smiling... Great..."

"Oh, and Rory?" "Yeah?" "Keep the rambling going."

THIS WAS SO CUTE AND JUST AHHHH i love the perfect balance between them (and also omg the bit where she's like "jess you're wearing two different shoes" <333333333)

She is both a writer and a person today too.

idk why but this distinction between writer and person was such an interesting part, it made me smile and pause to think about it more...(too many intricate thoughts to write rn)

They sat there, painting-like and wordless, until the first salutation of dawn.

first of all the utterly gorgeous poetry of this line...it felt like breathing in the fresh air just after it's rained (meaning it was so beautiful and made me feel so alive) and it's just perfect neil

I close my eyes and I’m wide awake, I open them and I’m dreaming.

i'm crazy for this idea - the way everything feels up side down and the wrong way round, the indistinction (i dont think that's a word but yk what i mean) between fantasy and reality.....it's just so cinematically perfect somehow (and ofc so rev like) (WAIT there's a word for that!!! oneirataxia i think...such a beautiful word <3)

The world still looks bright enough. Sometimes, I think about home, about Lane, about Luke, about mum and the world looks brighter. Shiny and familiar. Warm.

i love this sm!!!! the clear love she has for them, and the feelings that come with that...the sunny, bright, shinning and familiar warmth of being loved <3

(and jo. the playlist. THE PLAYLIST. i'm crying AGAIN istg the tears are streaming down my face but i'm smiling and crying and i'm just a mess rn i love you so so so so so much for this)

[startreatment]

everyone turn away I'm going to be cringey for a sec

HELLO BABES!! this year was a nightmare (in every way imaginable.. wow) so i wanted to thank some people that made this year less shitty. this is my first time writing a post like this so excuse me if I forget someone. I still love you all dearly!!

amy (@bybdolan) – you literally saved my 2020 with your beautiful edits (cried at several of them bc they make me unhinged (I’m still thinking about this and this and this and this and this and omfg you’re so talented I’m going to lose my mind). you influenced my style so much (and I always get SO excited when you reblog my edits. Its like the highest of praises). you are also genuinely a nice person and I love seeing your takes on my dash so much!! you are always  right, never forget that

ananya (@taylorry) – you are insane girl. your takes made my 2020 worse in every sense but it’s ok bc I still love you. obviously i’m joking, we both know that you’re really smart and funny and your posts always make me feel better :) your rankings are still bad tho so :/

claire (@andtosaturn) – oooh, we have another funny man on our hands!! seriously tho, even your star wars posts make me laugh and I don’t know shit about star wars. It’s ridiculous. Your edits make me want to eat my own hands so that’s nice. My favorite is this one I LITERALLY SCREAM EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT IT’S SO GOOD but these are also IMMACULATE: x x x x x x ALSO your gifsets>>>

jacinta (@londonsboy) – talented brilliant amazing showstopping you know the rest. you’re such a lovely person and I missed you the most when I was inactive. even when you’re just screaming about something I know nothing about (like narnia or awae) I still feel like we’re just.. friends hanging out, yknow? 

jess (@cellphonehippie) – well hello queen. you’re so important to me!! you were the first person that actually talked to me on here which was so exciting…you made me feel included.  you already know how I feel about your edits (I love screaming in the tags) but just in case, here are my favorites: x x x x x x + your collabs with amy (just thinking about them makes me want to AHHHH)

noemi (@alisonsmouth) – you’re my sunshine and the only person who doesn’t make me want to punch a wall. you’re so sweet and nice and lovely and you always make me smile and aaahhhhh I just want to hug you!! you deserve the nicest things!! ily

madie (@thelasttime) – I still remember how much I freaked out when you followed me. it was crazy. your anons are unhinged but it’s ok bc y’all are entertaining. I love going through your blog!! makes me feel like i’m hanging out with my very weird friends

raquel (@patchyourwings) – girl….. I am surrounded by funny and talented people how is that fair. I already told you that everything you post makes me chuckle (genuinely everything… it’s kinda embarrassing) and I’m so happy that we’re mutuals. still don’t know why you’re following me BUT I’m not complaining

valeria (@tolerate-it (I kinda miss treacherousdemo. will it make a comeback?) – SLAVIC SWIFTIES FOR THE WIN!!! your music taste is immaculate, you have the best opinions, your edits make me insane, you’re HILARIOUS BABE and sometimes I feel like we’re the same person. you’re probably the closest person to me personality-wise (…which is probably not a very good compliment jfdksdfhkj) and I loveeeee seeing you on my dash like. so much. so happy that you’ve found your editing style! my personal favourites: this one which makes me feel so fucking dlskfjlksdfkldbark bark  and this one?? OH AND THIS ONE and this one too (your reputation edits are so fucking cool honestly)

I also would like to tag people that I really enjoy seeing on my dash (I read all of your posts and sometimes laugh. do with that what you will): @pjo @ou7rage @mercurialshigh @shesfucked @stillbrights @bitchpack @scottstreett @lovethebeach @beginagain @quinnfebrey @cardgian @coldasyou

thank you guys for being amazing!! I want yall to know that when I felt terrible, I read your posts and it made me feel better. like I wasn't alone. thank you for that. I sincerely hope that you’ll have an good year full of healing, great memories and joy. you deserve it 💖

[zozophoenixxx]

Friendly reminders about The Flash⚡️

Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Season 4✨

Even though this was honestly one of my least favorite seasons it was pretty interesting to watch and it had some pretty cool, badass and hilarious scenes lmao

Ok but the intro on the first episode was kinda cool

Cisco, wally and Joe working together... we stan 🙌🏼

Also the new star labs tables and tech make it look pretty cool

Samuroid, Kilg%re, Hazard, Amunet Black, T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r, Black Bison, The Thinker, Bᵣₐᵢₙₛₜₒᵣₘ, 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ, Prank and Trickster Jr., Dwarfstar, m̾e̾l̾t̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾p̾o̾i̾n̾t̾, Null, The folded man

Ramsey Deacon aka Kilg%re

Rebecca Sharpe (Becky) aka Hazard

Ralph Dibny aka the elongated man

T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r

Mina Chaytan aka Black Bison

Dominic Lance aka Bᵣₐᵢₙₛₜₒᵣₘ

Neil Borman aka 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ

Sylbert Rundine aka Dwarfstar

Izzy Bowen

Matthew Kim aka m̾e̾l̾t̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾p̾o̾i̾n̾t̾

Janet Petty aka Null

Edwin Gauss aka the folded man

Wally can speak Japanese😂

Joe being able to forgive Caitlin after what she did is amazing I love them 🥺

West-Allen kiss count (approximately): 46 😘

Cisco being upset because he was at the "doghouse" in ep2 is hilarious

"Rule number 1, when a girl say it's fine, it's not fine" i- I'd be happy with Cisco as my boyfriend

Gypsy's gorgeous bro 🤩

Ok i'm sorry but that "we are the flash" bothers me

Not Cisco, Barry, and Caitlin playing laser tag... AGAINST KIDS😂💀 And Cisco really went "you have failed this city" I love them (ep3)

Jesse just broke up with Wally... With a…

Breakup cube i-

HARRY IS SO AWKWARD

Joe being lost or done with everything going on around him is hilarious, and he also looked so sad when Cecile asked him to sell the house

Iris and Barry really would've gotten married out of the blue if it hadn't been for Kevin (the lil boy in ep3) LMAOOO

This boy really used cinnamon incense on purpose when the father was allergic to it and just went :) ┐(´ー｀)┌

"no need to shame the little boy" I-

We love Barry defending little kids 🥺

I liked Cisco's shirt in this episode

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

Not Wally leaving 🥺😩

BAHHAHHSXHAHSGHASGAH Joe's reaction when Cecile told him she was pregnant

OMG just realized that in the beginning of ep4 when Cisco and Gypsy are making out on Cisco's bed that… BRO I-

After Cisco asked Gypsy what her real name was she went to the bathroom and he stayed in bed but went to look for something in the little night table… that something was probably a condom… Y'ALL WHAT BAHBSAHBSHAS

Ralph Dibny used to be a dirty cop, I had Completely forgotten about this man

I just noticed that every time that Barry goes into a new room he looks around and i guess he tries to grasp as much information of it as possible and it's kinda cute

I like how Breacher always has a serious face but when Gypsy talks to him he smiles 🥺

CISKY KABDjahdHAHDSH

Also Breacher being Danny Trejo (Machete) from Spy Kids

"Good people don't destroy lives and call it noble"

Gypsy's real name is Cynthia and Breacher's Josh

Girl Night's out was an awesome episode, I mean we got to see the girls working together, Felicity, Drunk Barry and Cecile going #feminism it's just great

Amunet was kinda funny lmao Annoying but funny lol

BAHSHAHHA that scene when they get mugged by the guy that try to mugged Barry in s1 is hilariousss (ep6)

Ok but Black Bison (Mina) was right like why are things that belong to people that are still here in a museum?

Uff istg I hate Marlize sm like she's so manipulative and she just slapped Barry like bro u know ur guilty he's just doing his job ugh, I know she becomes good at the end but still 😤🙄

Harry and Caitlin 🥺

I love how Cisco's powers improved throughout the seasons. Like at the beginning he needed his goggles to vibe and now he just did it without them.

Bro even tho Amunet is evil she really just encouraged Caitlin and let her know that she is amazing for her, not only for killer frost.

I like Iris and Caitlin's friendship

The fact that she decided to go after Caitlin, instead of Barry shows how good of a leader she is

"those white girl dreads came straight from the 90s" BAHSHAHHA I love Cisco

Bro no wth I only saw Dominic for one episode and I already loved him 🥺

UGHHHH He didn't do anything this is not fair it makes me so upset like it was so infuriating to see him go through trial for something he didn't do🥺

Ig that's what he felt like when his dad-

I-

Noooooo

Caitlin holding Iris's hand during trial 🥺

Ralph really protected Joe and prevented him from basically destroying his life by planting fake evidence on Marlize's shoes

Ok but I love 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ's episode because I think it's like the first time that we get to see Killer Frost fighting alongside them 🥺

They really helped Caitlin turn into Killer Frost with... puppies 🥺😂❤️

Bro the amount of people that are in jail for crimes they didn't commit makes me so upset

And the fact that he got the same cell as his dad 🤌🏼😩

"I'm the fastest mop alive" I love how even when he's in prison he's still finds a way to smile or make Iris smile i-

Zoey Clark was James Jesse's girlfriend and Axel Walker's mother.

Ralph's first superhero name was stretchy man

Lexi La Roche was Caitlin's childhood bully

Omg just saw Nora for the first time in s4 ehhh actually probably not the first time since I think she appeared in the crossover but I skipped that episode so oh well 😂

She's so awkward- her Barry is showing lmaoooo

OMG I love this, Cecile just found out she can read minds lmaooo

JOE'S FACE BAHSHHHAHAHA

SHE'S A TELEPATH

BULBASAUR BAHAHAHAHAHA

Big Sir's real name is Dave and i-🥺

BARRY'S A CHEATER ABSHAHAHH he cheated on poker lmaooo

Cecile would definitely be me if I had powers

Harry's actually pretty insecure

Mini Ralph and Mini Cisco are hilarious

I will forever love Big Sir like 🥺

The fact that he did get his happy ending 🥺☺️❤️

Bro I felt so bad when the bus metas were almost free and Devoe took them 🥺

I'm ngl I'd love to get a pep talk from killer frost

OMG THATS WHY HE NEEDED T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r i never really understood why he needed him but it was to keep Marlize in love

BAHSHAHHA I love Cisco "Ralph I love you but you sleep on a futon" (a damp futon)

AND IRIS "you nasty" JAHSHAHA

Ok but I love Izzy Bowen's energy, she reminds me of Laurel sm

I love how Harry calls Cecile- DA Cecile Horton

The Flash s4:E14 "Subject 9" minute 12:14 - Cisco yelling "Iris" with the voice Crack is the most hilarious thing I've seen today lmaoo

Just realized that the first time we saw Izzy Bowen she was singing Somethin' Bad which was probably foreshadowing what was going to happen with her character

Bro izzy🥺

"AH SON OF A BREACH" BAHSHAHHA

Iris being a speedster is kinda cool and I like that her lightning is purple :)💜⚡️

Cisco just saved Iris 🥺

Poor Cisco, Harry just destroyed his little airplane thingie he was working on because he was looking for his thinking cap that Joe had because Harry was getting addicted to it

And Joe noticed because Harry had the same symptoms as Francine did 🥺

Bro that scene in ep18 where Marlize and Iris are fighting is pretty badass, especially when Iris basically stabs herself to get rid of Marlize or when Joe makes it into the Cortex with the Samuroid's head in a pole lmaooo😂

Ralph and Killer Frost 🥺

I love Snart from Earth-X

Bro no I love Cisco and Gypsy I cried when they broke up 🥺

Amunet's real name is Leslie Jocoy

Diggle throwing up after running with Barry every single time is hilarious😂

I love it when Cecile inhabits other people's minds right when she's about to give birth BAHSHAHHA SHE REALLY IMPERSONATED JOE PERFECTLY

Joe and Cecile baby's name is Jenna Marie West🥺☺️

This house is bitchin' BAHAHAHA I hated this cliffhanger like I loved it bc it wasn't that bad but it was yk?😂

[angelhummel]

I’m just running thru these eps at lightning speed with no rhyme or reason. Thank u to the 4 people who actually read my thoughts and like my posts <3 Love you

Bad Reputation - This episode is hilarious. I was cracking up the whole way through. The only actual “cringe” part for me is Brenda Castle, she’s just annoying. The music sucks but that’s literally the point, and the performances are fun and hilarious. The actual plot with the glist is kind of dumb but idc, the episode is a fun time all around

Dream On - It’s an okay episode but I simply do not vibe with it. The Artie stuff is sad but also kind of weird. And I have to assume somewhat offensive to people who actually are in wheelchairs. The Bryan and Will stuff is funny enough but it’s like who cares. And Shelby is an awful person who belongs in jail and also the Jesse stuff with Rachel is gross and uncomfortable. Like it’s fun enough but as a serious episode, I’ll pass

Journey To Regionals - Really some of the best of the best. I cried my way through the whole episode. You know an episode is working hard if it makes me feel genuine emotion towards Will of all people. I hate Journey but can’t complain about the songs. It’s the best competition episode and the best finale episode out of any of them, hands down. It’s iconic and memorable for all the right reasons and one of the best episodes of what Glee is all about <3 

Audition - I’m glad we get to see Sam but the rest of this episode is bleh. Will is an idiot and Rachel is annoying and the crack house thing was so stupid. Idk the episode isn’t good and also the music isn’t good either so what are we left with

The Substitute - This episode also just annoys me lol. Holly is cringe and Terri is just weird. Also Mercedes is annoying and she’s my fave so I don’t wanna see her like that. The music is okay but the fact that Holly focuses on Rachel and asks what she wants to do as if Rachel never gets to perform songs she likes?? Ok 

New York - The second best competition episode and season finale episode. Just seeing all my babies in NY makes me inexplicably happy. The songs aren’t great but the overall vibe is impeccable. Even just the little things. Quinn’s dramatic scene, the Hummelberry moments, the girls pillow fighting, Klaine’s first “I love you”, the Brittana scene. It’s all just part of a wonderful ep. Also I cried through it too, though not as much as 1x22

Nationals - Okay so obviously to each their own but this ep is... not good. Ten minutes of contrived drama that doesn’t matter, 20 minutes of nothing but songs that don’t matter bc you know they’re gonna win, then ten minutes of gargling Schue’s balls for zero reason. Not a fan. I’m not gonna pretend anyone but Rachel or Finn had a genuine kind word to say about that man. Maybe in s1 but after s3?? No. And the songs were mostly meh. Paradise is great and I loved the whole Tongue Tied scene that was somewhere in there, but that’s about it tbh. It’s just boring and anticlimactic and yeah

Goodbye - It’s a good episode but people who would accept this as the series finale are dumb as hell. This whole season is so Rachel heavy while shitting on literally everyone else and the finale is the the culmination of all of that. Too many loose threads left hanging and I wouldn’t have been happy if the show ended here. Overall it’s probably my 3rd favorite season finale. Also I don’t like the music lol

The New Rachel - I guess it’s not awful. It’s probably my... 3rd or 4th favorite season premier? I always say I heart the NY stuff but when it’s just Rachel there... not so much. We get the first of several exact same scenes between Rachel and Cassandra. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. I love Brody, Unique, Marley, and Kitty. I hate the new Rachel competition. Love Kurt’s goodbye scenes both with Blaine and his dad. Only cried during those parts. Hate Brittany making jokes about scissoring and how Unique is Mercedes. Heard one, heard them all. The songs were all pretty middling, nothing special. I don’t mind the vibe change with the new group but overall the episode is pretty middling, nothing special

Homecoming - It’s a fun little episode but it’s like why are we hereee. It’s not what I want to be doing BUT I like seeing Kurt and Rachel and Blaine being educators and trying their best and being surprisingly good most of the time. I like the newbies but not so much right away. The songs are okay. Idk most of s6 is either trying and failing to recapture the vibes of s1, or just straight up referencing things that happened in s1-3 so the audience can fondly remember those times and maybe trick themselves into thinking they also like the new eps. Not working on me tho

[pumpkinmaster999]

Heroes Walk in Dirt

By Jess Awh

At last call at the bar I am eight shots in, swing dancing with a broom while Sasha wipes the wood down. His face says he’s wondering how a mess like me can be trusted to clean shit up.

I tell him when I’m home I like to vacuum drunk. Drunk vacuuming is kinda like being on a swing: you blithely toss your body around the room in a tango with the vacuum, singing to yourself, forgetting certain corners. I sing the live recorded version of a John Prine song, “That’s the Way that the World Goes Round.” Sasha asks why live. The song’s got this line: “it’s a half an inch of water and you think you’re gonna drown,” I say, but on the live tape John Prine tells the crowd how a woman came up to him in San Fransisco once and asked him to play his song about the happy enchilada. She thought it went, “it’s a happy enchilada and you think you’re gonna drown.”

In my bedroom I take eight shots of Jim Beam and grab the expensive vacuum I bought at Costco with the different detachable heads which I call “my vacuum ingredients,” and I swing and sing to myself about the happy enchilada.

Sasha shrugs and scrubs the gun line. He says that that John Prine song has a verse where John Prine pretty much says it’s ok to beat your wife. It isn’t okay to beat your wife, I don’t sing that verse. I know it isn’t okay to beat your wife. My wood floors shine. I hate when dirt from the floor sticks to my feet as though it were all the world’s injustice.

I smoke in the tub and I swim in the Hudson, so in a way no bath I take is ever clean as a true baptism. I dislike the laundromat, so I wash clothes at home and hang them on the fire escape. In a nutshell, all I can do is try, I say, in a nutshell. Trying is what we do when succeeding eludes our sight. Sasha once came over after work and laid on my bed eating pistachios, setting the empty shells down on his chest. He’s been upset because his ex is about to marry a man she loves less just to get him a green card and have some kids. I’d never ask anyone or anything to change. I would’ve vacuumed his shirt, though.

I walk to the train to work like always and Lee is waiting outside the liquor store. For whatever reason, the liquor store people hired him seemingly just to stand outside and ask people how they’re doing as they go by. He’s hardly ever inside, and when he is he doesn’t seem to be doing anything. He doesn’t have any flyers to hand out. “What’s new, Lee?” “Oh, you know, new gangsters, new crackheads.” “Oh yeah? You look spiffy. I like the blazer.” “Ah, thanks, it’s gettin’ cold.” “Yep, yep.” “My birthday’s coming up.” I like that one because he always tells me what’s new with the block when I’m really asking what’s new with him. “Shit, when is it?” “The 26th.” “No way, I’m having a party that night. I’ll bring you a piece of cake or something.” We laugh. Lee is always in a clean black button down and black pants that are never wrinkly. He’s like a blackboard that got wiped down with a wet towel. I’m gonna bring him cake because he doesn’t expect me to. We live in this charmed narrative where we move one plant into the sun, or put a sardine out for one stray cat, or organize one shelf, and then the sky opens up so sunbeams land on our shoulders like we somehow answered a prayer God didn’t even say out loud. I read this story in American Girl Magazine when I was nine where they’re walking on the beach and they find hundreds of washed up starfish dying in the sun. The one girl says “we can’t save them all, it’s pointless” and the other starts throwing them in the water one by one. She goes “but we can at least save a few, and that still matters.”

I get to the bar and this guy I know is there drinking, Grant Barber. I tell Sasha I’m going to go hide in the basement and he knows what I mean. A couple summers ago when I was bartending in Chinatown I became friends with Grant Barber because he was living in the radio station. He’d listen to my show on the mail room speakers on Sundays and say things like “I’m glad you played Patsy Cline” or “I can tell you like the music, that’s why you’re such a good host.” Grant Barber has blue eyes like Santa’s eyes, and that’s why I started buying him lunch and letting him shower at my apartment. I’m a good person but I get starfished sometimes. So I served court papers to the squatter who’d forced him out of his place in BedStuy, I went with him to the notary and everything, but when the legal shit started to drag along and he was sending me messages like “I’m gonna kill myself today” and “why won’t you answer me, I’m going to die” I stopped replying. I couldn’t fix it any more for him, and what was I gonna do, sit there listening to a dude I barely knew threaten suicide because I ignored his Facebook DMs? He said he never asked me to “fix it,” just to be there, and then he said he was in love with me. I said this is too many starfish. Actually, I said nothing.

Grant Barber talked to Blaze Foley in Austin back in 1985. I believe that story because he never lied to me about anything else besides the killing himself. “Fuck, I love Blaze Foley, seriously?” Yeah, at this concert at The Outhouse where he was double billed with Townes Van Zandt. Townes played for an hour straight, and I was there with my girlfriend, they were waiting for Blaze to come onstage but no one could find him I guess. He came on and played one song, then left again. That night is the only time I talked to him ever even though I saw him twice or three times. I’ll never forget what he said…I went to the men’s room and he was there barreling through a fifth of whiskey…slouched over a urinal. It was just us two and for some reason I started rambling about how much I looked up to him, how his music moved me, and then he stared at me and said one sentence. He said, and he was slurring—it took him a whole long minute to say this—he said “my problem is that I can’t stop being funny.”

I was funny once, at a nude figure drawing session held by a local art club. They had offered me thirty bucks to play the guitar and sing my songs while the models posed and the artists sketched them. The room echoed like the inside of a drum and the floors were shiny. I sang things I had written and they mingled with the dust lit up by the window and hovering in the air. Afterwards a girl came up to me and said “I loved your lyrics, they were so funny!” And maybe they were funny, but I recoiled because I felt stung, because I had been admitting that I was weak, which is braver than most things I do. Blaze Foley got shot in the chest by his friend Concho January’s son. That’s how he died. He confronted Carey, the son, about stealing Concho January’s veteran pension and welfare checks, and a few days later Carey shot him. Blaze’s friends covered his coffin in duct tape because he never got starfished, he knew his strength even though he looked to be made of flesh. Sasha was uninvited to his ex’s wedding because Gavin (the new fiancé) hates him, and when he found out he said fine, I’m happy for you guys, then cried on my shoulder in the bar basement later.

I love Blaze Foley but I doubt I would’ve ever dated him because I bet his hair was dirty all the time. He has this song called “Sittin’ by the Side of the Road” that’s about being homeless and being fine with it, because what do you even need besides a guitar and a meal to eat? I need a sanctuary that I can control and retreat to. The best gift I’ve ever given a friend is an invitation to stay with me, to hide in my house with the vacuumed floors, out of New York, and feel clean. This is why I wouldn’t date Sasha: his apartment is an unheeded hodgepodge of once-important or still-important things not set in order, not categorized, not scrubbed with Clorox wipes. I wonder what service he’s out there doing that makes him forget about cleaning. He texts me that Grant Barber left the bar and I come upstairs, eyeing the balled-up napkins and brown leaves sprinkled on the ground as I walk to the front door. I will clean this up before anyone else has a chance to disregard it.

[thefanficmonster]

Forever With You

Sam Giddings (Until Dawn) x Emo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Death, Mourning, Swearing, Slight Gore

Genre: Angst

Summary: Living with knowing that your life was basically given back to you from near-death thanks to the demise of a loved one is the closest feeling to death with your heart still beating. Sam now knows that. The whole group knows that. Good thing friends stick together even after death. 

Requested by my lovely Until Dawn Anon. Hi babyy! I hope you enjoy the read and I sure as hell hope this isn’t the last request of yours I’ll be writing. We’re business partners at this point LOL. Love you ❤❤❤

QUICK NOTE - Some elements of this fic, by request of Until Dawn Anon, have been inspired by a certain drama series. I’m not gonna name it to avoid spoilers for both the show and this fic, but whoever’s watched the show will recognize which show is being referenced.

Sam’s POV

“You’d make a mean hunter!“ Chris comments as Y/N lowers the shotgun after shooting her mark for the fifth time. 

“Nah, I’d never hurt animals.“ She gives him a sincere smile, “But I appreciate you thinking I have the proper skillset.“

We’re waiting for the world’s slowest cable car to make its way to our station, aka the lower station so we can meet up with the rest of our group, assuming that any of them are already there. 

When I arrived at the station Chris, Ashley and Y/N were already there. They were sitting on the benches outside the station, waiting for me. I was actually supposed to take the same bus as them but something came up right as I was about to head to the bus station, forcing me to take the bus an hour after theirs.

“Sam, I will never forgive you for this, I swear!“ Y/N says, standing up from the bench and heading in my direction, “You let me thirdwheel alone! I mean, I could only survive watching these two beat around the bush for so long!“ She lowered her voice when she said that, giving the couple us two and Josh call Chrashley a quick glance over the shoulder.

I took her hands in mine almost instinctively, “Aw, I’m sorry. But look on the bright side: the love radiating off them is so strong it kept you warm as well!” It was true, her usually freezing hands were not so frozen. Still colder than a person’s should be, but not yet to the point of provoking concern.

She smirked, rolling her eyes, “You know I’d rather freeze to death than have love keep me warm.” She spat the word ‘love’ as though it was poisonously bitter in her mouth. Luckily, before I could say anything more, Chris dragged us to the makeshift shooting range he had found at the side of the snow covered clearing.

It didn’t take long for him and Y/N to start getting competitive with one another, like the not-blood-related siblings they are, so now Ash and I are observing their little competition of who can hit the most marks with the smallest amount of prep time. It’s obvious Y/N the one winning, but Chris isn’t the quitter type so while she is shooting even the smallest of pebbles in the snow we point out to her, he’s still aiming for the hanging sacks of sand and the glass bottles.

With the two of them being so immersed in their ‘competition’, Ashley and I are chatting while remaining a safe distance away from the shooting pair - Chris especially. Y/N has at least slight experience in the field. Being at the distance that we are, we are also out of earshot for them. So, both Ash and I bring up the obvious topic that never remains unspoken - RELATIONSHIPS.

“You and Y/N have been really close as of late. Finally making things official?“ Ash nudges the conversation first as she adjusts the beanie she’s wearing.

I sigh, a white cloud created from that breath of something between disappointment and dread, “We’re not even unofficial. We’re just friends.“ I take the opportunity to take a teasing stab at her, “I’m not luck enough to have my...“ I make quotation marks with my fingers, “’crush’ feel the same way about me. Unlike you.“ I smirk at her, noticing the color of red appearing on her cheeks despite the cold breeze that’s caressing every inch of exposed skin, making it worryingly pale.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Sam. For both of those statements.“ She says diplomatically, scanning the shooting duo with a quick once-over. “She isn’t as reserved when she’s with you. I know you don’t notice, but everyone else does. She’s different, warmer even, with you.“ I expect her to go on, explaining her situation with Chris, but she doesn’t.

As much as I’d like to get her to go on and spill a little of what she feels about Chris, even though everyone and their grandmothers already know, I can’t help but let my mind go down the rabbit hole of ‘what if’s. I’m not oblivious nor blind, I can see the way her demeanor changes around me in comparison to, let’s say, when she’s around Mike. However, she’s ‘warmer’ with Josh, Chris, Matt and Ash as well. It’s called friendliness. It’s no secret that she’s never been too fond of Emily or Jess or Mike. The friendliness of a person can so easily be taken out of context when someone’s crushing on them.

And Y/N’s friendliness especially. This girl hates romance. Absolutely hates it. The word ‘love’ itself gets her annoyed and bothered to the point of discomfort sometimes. I have never tried to probe and try to figure out why. I say I haven’t cause I respect her privacy, but truth be told I am scared. I want to believe there is a small part of her that still wants to experience a romantic relationship, a love connection, and I’m afraid that prodding the subject would shatter all the hopes I have.

How did I end up falling for this dark, broody, Catwoman like emo girl? - I have no idea. It was only natural if you ask me. I think I’m not the only one who’s so whipped by her, but I could never be sure. I mean, how could someone NOT fall for this raven badass: black hair, eyes just a shade lighter than black, tattoos - perfect combination of beauty and brains. And balls, she’s probably the boldest person I’ve ever known or will ever meet. What really caught my attention when I first laid eyes on her was the way she shined. Literally. I don’t mean that as a cheesy metaphor - the girl is always covered in jewelry that reflects the sunlight perfectly. She mesmerized me from day one. She made me a big hypocrite - I was always the one to tell Chris and Ash to make a move, to confess their feelings, and now here I am, in their shoes as though they have cursed me.

“Hey, eagle eyes! Our ride’s here.“ Ash announces, handing Chris his backpack as they fall in step, walking side by side around the station.

Y/N falls in step with me, elbowing my ribs gently, “Slow down, let’s give them some privacy.” She slows her pace to a frustratingly slow walk and I oblige, “I don’t usually say things like this, but they are really cute.”

We’d be really cute

Wait, where did that thought come from?!

“Yeah, I know.“ I say through the fog of confusion that has taken over my brain. “They sure are.“ I clear my throat, trying to hide the fact that my own mind just shocked me. Damn, what is happening to me? What is this crush doing to me? It’s exhausting and terrifying but....I don’t want it to stop.

                                                              *  *  *

“It’s ok, baby. You’re ok.“ Y/N’s voice echoes in the eeriness of the mines.

How did this night make a swerve for the worst so suddenly. All of it, all the horrors just piled up so suddenly. We’re fearful of our own shadows at this point. We are terrified of each other as well. We’re all in a fragile and vulnerable state, with out sanity hanging by a thread. We are all slowly losing ourselves more and more, the events of the past few hours and the hours to come dragging us in the depth of this seemingly endless void of terror.

And then there’s Y/N. Mike, her and I have just found Josh who was having some sort of hallucination-riddled breakdown in the mines. While Mike and I stood aside, contemplating our next move, Y/N didn’t waste any time hesitating. She ran right to his aid and literally pulled him out of his horrific delusions, wrapping her arms around him tightly, murmuring words of comfort as he cried on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I should’ve done something...I should’ve saved them.. I shouldn’t have done this to you guys.“ Josh’s sobs tear my heart to pieces. Seeing him like this is like watching a disaster happen right in front of me, but I’m incapable of doing anything to prevent it or aid help the people affected by it. I’m helpless, I can just stand aside and watch. Watch as he falls apart and Y/N desperately trying to keep him together as if she’s strong enough to carry such duty on her shoulders.

“It’ll all be over soon, it’ll all be ok. Hannah and Beth know it wasn’t your fault, Josh. We forgive you too. Please, don’t do this, at least not now.“ Just as she says those word, an inhuman screech comes from somewhere in the distance behind us, accompanied by another shortly after which came from right up-front. 

Good thing we don’t have to head in either of those directions, not that we’re safe no matter which path we take. We’re walking through thigh deep water which could be hiding anything below the surface yet we wouldn’t know because it looks more like ink than water. We’re not the most discreet nor quiet as we move forward, taken that we are doing our best to push through with letting out as little curse words and sneers due to the inability to feel our lower body.

My foot hits something solid and rather sharp, most likely a large stone, causing me to let out a loud hiss before I could stop it. I freeze, listening on the noises surrounding us, expecting those screeches to emerge from behind the nearest wall and put an end to this torture we’re enduring. 

I nearly jump out of my skin when a hand wraps around my wrist gently. My first instinct is to pull away, all my muscles tensing as I try to take a step back. 

“Hey, hey relax. It’s ok.“ Y/N’s voice is unusually soft and sweet, just like when she was comforting Josh. It’s the voice she uses when aiding a hurt animal, or calming a weeping baby. “You’re ok, nothing bad will happen to us, ok Sam? We’re making it out of here.“ She’s carrying the mom role, the older sister role, the nurse role and the pillar we’re all leaning on for support. She’s keeping it together so we can too.

Her hand moves down to mine, unfolding my fingers that I’ve curled into a tight fist due to the uncomfortable sensation of being half frozen and half numb. He holds my hand open while quickly slipping off a ring from her pointer finger and putting it on mine. It has a small brightly blue rock on it. I recognize it right away - it’s the only ring she wears permanently. She changes all her other accessories, but never this ring. I can swear I’ve heard her joke that she’d like to be buried with it when the time comes.

“The lady that gave me this ring said it symbolizes the courage to carry on while carrying the world on your shoulders, and that really stuck with me.“ Her tone takes me to a different place, somewhere nice, safe and warm. Her words wrap around me like a safety blanket, for a moment letting me forget everything: the past few hours, the present and the yet to be determined future. “I have a feeling you need that courage more than I do.“

I nod but I’m physically unable to look up and meet her eyes. My gaze is fixated on her hands, which I’ve never felt so warm, holding mine as though it’s made of porcelain.

“If you keep going at this rate, all your jewelry will end up on me.“ I fish the necklace from underneath my hoodie, holding the charm so she can see it.

It’s a necklace she gave me right before she went on her first forest ranger training program. We weren’t sure if we’d see her again when we were at the train station saying goodbye. She said there was a chance of her staying at the camp to fully devote herself to what she wanted for her future. Thankfully though, she returned about four months later. I remember how hard I had to fight my tears that day. I should’ve know it would be useless - Y/N notices everything. That necklace, a beautiful blood red circular pendant hanging on a silver chain, was her saying ‘see you soon, hopefully’. I haven’t taken it off me since.

“I’ve already written it all to you in my will.“ She gives my hand a squeeze before letting go and continuing forward. After a brief return to the present reality I follow, making sure to always be an arm reach away at most from Y/N. Being within close proximity to her makes me feel like it will be alright. I mean, she said it would be, and she’s never wrong.

We enter an area where the water isn’t as still anymore. It rushes towards this small cliff where it creates a waterfall, pooling in the lower level in the form of a deep lake. The water is way higher there and the ground at the bottom is not reachable.

“Let’s try not to get pulled.“ Mike declares, his walk now more of a struggle just like everyone else’s “If we can reach that wall without dying we should be ok.“

We all nod, more as a way of reassuring ourselves than a response to his statement. We are less than fifteen feet away, I have a strong belief we can make it.

Ten feet away. We’re almost there.

And then we hear it - a deafening screech. It’s right next to me.

We turn to see that monster grab Y/N by her throat, throwing her into the water. Before we even have time to react, it’s too late. The thing has once again picked her up, holding her high above the surface of the water. She looks at me, her eyes screaming the way her vocal chords can’t. The fear has silenced her.

The wendigo’s other hand pierces through her chest, pulling her heart out. 

She’s gone. She’s gone. She can’t be gone! WHY HER?! Why couldn’t it be me?! Why am I still drawing breath when she just let out her last one?! WHY DID IT GO FOR HER?! Is it because it knew that’s the quickest way to kill me?! TO KILL ALL OF US?!

The wendigo throws Y/N’s body over the cliff and into the deep lake below right before it climbs one of the stone walls and leaves our sight. It didn’t see any of us. We were too frozen to move even if we tried, of course it didn’t see us. 

“We..- we gotta keep moving. Sam, come on. It’s over. She’s gone. We can’t help her.“ Each word shakier than the last, but still like sharp stabs right through my chest. Mike has taken hold of my arm and is leading me towards the wall we are supposed to climb to get out of here and back to the lodge.

                                                            *  *  *

I don’t remember climbing the damn thing. I don’t remember the way back to the lodge. I can faintly recall the pained cries of everyone in the basement when Mike told them what happened. All that time I couldn’t utter a single word. I couldn’t comprehend what had happened. It all happened so out of the blue and it was over so quickly, like it wasn’t the end of a human life. Like it didn’t matter and it wouldn’t have any lasting effects on anything that followed. As though her death wasn’t worth to be remembered.

It all sunk in only after I was out of that hell-hole lodge, the flames dancing in front of my eyes, surrounding the structure that within its walls held several of those monsters, one of which was the one that killed Y/N.

Y/N

Thinking of her got me to look down at the pendant of the necklace around my neck, the fire being reflected off its smooth red surface. Like a pool of blood in the middle of a forest caught by a wildfire.

See you soon, hopefully

I take one look at those woods, my heart sinking at the thought that behind those trees there’s an entrance to the mines. The mines that are now the resting place of the girl I loved. The girl that deserved better.

“Sam, they’re here. We’re safe. They’re saving us. It’s finally over.“ Mike’s words are nothing but a faint echo at the back of my conscience.

What’s on the front lines of my mind is that phrase - See you soon, hopefully. I’ll be seeing her soon. But not through death, she would never wish that upon me or anyone.

She’ll come back. She won’t let this be the end. She’s too stubborn.

“SAM!“ The screams fail to reach me completely as I run as though my life depends on it. My feet barely touch the ground, my instinct leading me to the nightmarish depths of this mountain. 

I will not allow it to be your resting place, Y/N!

I jump from the top of the wall into the shallow water, letting the water drag my shaky form towards the cliff. With zero hesitation or doubt, no regard for the filthiness of the water or the horrors that may await me below its surface.

It’s pitch black. I can’t see or feel a thing. My body feels like it’s being stabbed by thousands of needles, causing it to go numb. I push my lungs to their limits, testing every cell of my body, begging them to not fail me.

The discourage starts settling in, accompanied by the pain that’s spreading throughout my chest due to the lack of oxygen. I’m just about to swim to the surface to breathe when I see it.

A glow. More of a reflection, actually. The reflection I was talking about earlier. The minimal light that’s pushing its way into the mines has made it to this depth and is being reflected by a metal ring connected to a pale hand.

Dizziness and pain all but forgotten, I push myself to swim lower, grasping the hand and giving it my all to pull it up. I only realize I’m above water when air enters my lungs in large gulps. It takes me a second to take in the fact that I’m holding the bloody, pale, unmoving body of Y/N with a hole through her chest.

“Please...“ I beg through gasps for breath, “Please open your eyes, live. Oh God, a wendigo or not just...just please come back to me, Y/N! Come back to take me with you!“

Despite my words of desperation, my screams of agony, I know they are in vain. I know she wouldn’t come back even if she could. She would rather stay dead than return as a threat to her friends with the risk of actually hurting them. She would never bring harm to her loved ones.

Images flash before my eyes: The hurt in her eyes when Josh’s scheme was revealed; Her comforting Ashley while Chris was out with the Flamethrower Guy; Talking Mike into putting the gun away and not shooting Em; Her standing up to Emily, grabbing her arm before she could hit Ash; Her comforting the disoriented and scared Josh we found in the mines; Her looking at me a second before her death.

There are two scenes that have been permanently engraved in my memory: Seeing her shining form for the first time and seeing her ink-like eyes, filled with terror for the last time.  

                                                            *  *  *

We’re sitting in a room with bright neon lights and security cameras in each corner. I don’t remember how I got here. I don’t even remember leaving the mines. We were all given a change of clothes and a blanket. They offered us food and something to drink to refuel our bodies but after those horrors we saw, non of us are able to hold anything down. Josh was taken to a separate room the moment the helicopter landed and we haven’t seen him since.

I’m sitting on a bench next to Chris and Ashley, opposite Mike, Jess and Emily. Poor Jess has had it the roughest out of all of us. She has been drained of all emotion, her face isn’t even pale - more see-through. Mike’s arm is protectively wrapped around her shoulders, keeping her close. Matt and Emily are holding hands, unable to say anything to each other. Chris has Ashley tightly wrapped in his arms as though he’s prepared to protect her from anything. 

And I’m alone. 

I saw a black body bag being unloaded from the helicopter. I knew whose body it contained. No one dared say a word about it. We had run out of tears and words at that point.

I keep my head hanging low, my eyes fixated on the white tiled floor beneath my feet. The lights are too bright compared to my pitch black world. It’s all just empty and meaningless now. Looking back, I should’ve taken my own advice and spoken up about how I felt. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, maybe everything would’ve been different. And that’s the real torment - I will never know.

I straighten up, squinting at the artificial blinding lights, resting my back against the wall behind me. As I’m doing so, I catch a glimpse of something shiny in front of me. 

My heart leaps. 

It’s such an irrational reaction to something so simple. So ordinary to anyone else.

The shine is coming from the light reflecting off the chain Mike’s wearing around his neck. A familiar chain I’ve seen on someone else.

“That’s Y/N’s.“ I bark at him angrily, gaining his attention, “Why do you have it?!“

“Sam...“ Chris’ hand rests on my arm, “We all have something hers. She was sentimental, remember?“

‘Was‘. That change from ‘is‘ to ‘was‘ is killing me. And the ease with which everyone has accepted that Y/N is now a thing of the past.

“She gave me a bracelet.“ Ashley shows me her wrist

“She gave me this cool watch...“ Chris rolls up his sleeve, “I’m glad it survived all the crap it was put through with me. Not a scratch.“

“She’d haunt you if you scratched it.“ Matt smiles but his eyes are dull with sadness

“She’ll haunt us regardless.“ Emily says, “I hope she does.“

The rest of the crew shows the pieces Y/N left them of herself and it’s the most heartwarming while also heartbreaking feeling. The room has a different atmosphere all of a sudden. We are seven people, each with a soul of our own and a piece of Y/N’s. 

As long as all the pieces are near each other, she’ll be alive and present. She’ll live on to watch over us and guide us. She’s probably looking down at us right now, relieved that we made it out. Overjoyed that Chris and Ashely are finally where they’re supposed to be - in each other’s arms. Glad Matt and Emily have found a stable middle ground. Proud of Jess for what she survived back there and happy she has found safety in Mike’s embrace. And what does she feel about me? As I said, I’ll never know, I can only hope she heard what I said to her back in the mines.

Assumptions aside, her message is crystal clear and leaves no room for speculations:

As long as we’re together, she’ll be with us. Forever.

[readerism]

Had wrap up my thoughts (fucking finally, still incoherent) for Chain of Gold. Umm, spoilers?

Not gonna lie, I didn't cry as much as I did with my previous read (Crescent City) BUT THERE IS STILL THAT THROBBING PAIN WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT. I swear to the angels, the shadowhunter chronicles would forever have a special place in my heart.

So let me begin with saying, WILL AND TESSA BEING PARENTS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR. I am emotional for them. After all the shits, here they are with their children and still very much in love. And then we have JEM WHO IS ALWAYS THERE. I cried when Will's father died and Jem came and they all huddle the three of them together I AM SOFT. They still remain the superior love triangle.

Cordelia Carstairs, I think, is the most level-headed and mature out of the shadowhunter heroines or maybe second to Tessa. She reminds me of Tessa actually. That grace under pressure. Superb. I love her. She's smart, quick with her feet, and very selfless. The pining just makes it hard but i love the drama so not gonma complain. The sexual tension she has with James better escalate on the next book! They literally have that fake dating/marriage trope!! The dance scene was marvelous. Reading to him while sick! The flirting with tea. THE WHISPERING ROOM. Oh my god, they will get it on if not for Matthew barging. All in all, they had great scenes together. Well except, James leaving her in the dancefloor. Thank god for Matthew.

What I am afraid is adding Matthew in the mix. Don't get me wrong, i love me some angsty drama. But we just had the most perfect love triangle ever written and it just doesnt feel right. Matthew Fairchild is a very complex character. He's even more self destructive than Will and no one knows how to help him. Except maybe Magnus. OH MAGNUS IS HERE PLS HELP HIM.

And maybe after sorting that out, Magnus could help James with the drat bracelet. These shadowhunters are all hopeless, let us all thank Magnus.

I also wanted to talk about our newest gay disaster, Thomas Lightwood. i AM SCREAMING HE PANICKED when he heard Alastair is coming. Their date in Paris has me swooning. And the TATTOO PLS FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. ok that was hot. I hope they make up. I know Alastair fucked up in the academy but he is trying now. Starting with his hair.

If Thomas is a gay disaster, Anna Lightwood is a wrecker. I love her so much she can step on me and I would say thank you. Anna x Adrianne better be endgame!! Anna is also very perceptive of the whole Matthew-Cordelia-James thing and as their kinda older sibling, she would be likely overseeing things.

I don't know how much truth there is in the family tree. Cassie said not to rely on it? But Jesse is dead and according to the family tree, is married to Lucie. Necromancy? I guess it runs in the family lol.

There are some shady things in the family tree. Grace Cartwright married to Christopher Lightwood is suspicious. Why is she not carrying the Blackthorn name though? Is Grace Cartwright even the same Grace Blackthorn? Very very intriguing.

Can't believe I would wait for another year to read the next book. Excited to see how James and Cordelia play out the fake marriage. I really do hope Matthew gets help. And I want more og herongraystairs content!!!