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leviathren · 5 years ago

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ENC 1102 Final Project

For my final project in my Introduction to Inquiry Based Research course, I am writing a blog post about the research I conducted this Spring 2020 semester. It’s school related so I’m posting it here! This is going to be a long one so grab a cup of tea or a plate of fruits and vegetables and strap in.

TW: brief discussion of body image, mental health, addiction

Social Media: The Effects of Growing Up Online, and How We Can Use it for the Better

Introduction

I used to struggle with self control when it came to being on social media. Social media blew up and became a huge thing for seemingly everyone to have right about when I was growing up and going through the critical developmental stages of adolescence. Myspace was just before my time, it had left its glory days before I had any social media. But then came Facebook. And then Instagram. And Vine, Snapchat, Twitter, etc. My generation was the first to experience having social media from a young age and all the way through our teenage years, and then finally reaching adulthood. I never had anything like social media before. I barely had a phone and any contacts to message before switching to a smartphone and then having social media accounts, and I think that contributed to me not knowing what healthy limits were.

It came and went in phases. There would be a period of time where I would unintentionally spend hours on my phone every day, just scrolling through Instagram. I wasn’t using it in a meaningful way, like connecting with friends and family, I was just scrolling. Mindlessly, endlessly.

I realized at some point, probably in my early years of high school, that this was an issue. It wasn’t horrible, but I still was spending more time than I wanted on my phone, and throughout the years, I have become better at being mindful with how I consume and use social media, and I have noticed that I have become so much more present in general. I don’t know if this was directly because of the healthier relationship with social media I have now, or if it was just coincidence in timing. I was lucky that I wasn’t too negatively affected by social media, but many people have raised concerns on how it may affect our mental health, and I decided to look into it more and see if I could help even just one person with this.

Mental Health: Social Media as a Stressor

Social media platforms were created to connect us with our friends and family. That’s the “social” part of it. However, social media has become a place where people typically showcase the best parts of their lives. Some call this the “highlight reel” on social media. These snapshots of fleeting moments in our busy lives only show the internet what we want it to show. I am aware that there are exceptions though, such as spam accounts where people share their more vulnerable moments with a private following of their close friends and sometimes family, or social media personalities such as Trisha Paytas who share many vulnerable, not so picture-perfect moments publicly, but the average user doesn’t tell their friends and followers everything that’s going on behind the scenes. Therefore, the majority of posts don’t accurately portray our lives. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing - we all need boundaries and privacy - however, this can sometimes make users feel as if they aren’t enough, or that they aren’t doing enough.

Humans have a habit of social comparison. We do it naturally because it’s a way for us to “estimate one’s past and present social standings” as Tahir M. Nisar, an associate professor at the University of Southampton, wrote. Many people compare their own lives to the lives of others as a means to evaluate themselves and to measure whether they’re doing well or not (Nisar 55). This has been a generally known fact for a while, but when I conducted my own research via online survey, I asked the participants if they ever found themselves comparing themselves or their lives to those of others they see online, and 47.9% of them said “yes, often”, while 43.8% said “sometimes”, and a mere 8.3% said “no, never”. Comparing yourself to others is natural, and it isn’t always a bad thing, but for some it can become a dangerous rabbit hole.

Jeff Cain, an associate professor at the University of Kentucky, wrote that these comparisons “often result in envy, depression, reduced happiness, etc. because they perceive others’ lives more favorable than their own.” I’m sure most of us have experienced this at least once before where we wish our lives were more like someone else’s without even realizing it. It can be a hard thing to not do! The problem here is that that can lead to us setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and then us being too hard on ourselves when we don’t reach that level.

Some of the unrealistic expectations we may place for ourselves can be physical appearance. 8.3% of the participants in my survey said they often photoshop their appearance for social media, 10.4% said they sometimes do, 10.4% said they do but only rarely. This is one thing that needs to change.

A good sign is the rest (70.9%) said they never photoshop themselves. In recent years, body positivity has grown and become a more developed movement, leading the online community in a more positive direction. This is a great use of social media, using platforms to share positive, helpful messages to bring together a community and to spread awareness and knowledge of a particular topic.

Coping: Social Media Used as a Distraction

When I conducted my research, I asked the participants what the main reasons/purposes were that they used social media for, and the majority of them said something along the lines of “to connect with friends and family”, and many said they used it to pass the time, to stave off boredom. Sometimes, users will go on social media to distract themselves from negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, anxiety, stress, etc. Although not a permanent solution, it’s a temporary relief, and this can be helpful. Sometimes, social media can be a distraction from important things though. I know I definitely get distracted from studying or doing homework by checking social media. I’ve already done it once while writing this, yikes. But don’t worry, it’s not all bad!

Ahmad Mushtaq, an academic Vice Chancellor at Alberoni University, and Abdelmadjid Benraghda, a professor at Universiti Malaysia Pahang, found that students mostly used social media to “improve their knowledge and information.” They found that social media was actually a useful tool in education, because it allowed students to find information easily and connect with peers and instructors.

In my research I asked if participants find that they get distracted by their phone and go on social media while doing tasks such as homework or watching movies, and a whopping 77.1% said “yes, often” while the remaining 22.9% said “sometimes”. No one said “no, never”. This may be connected to how many people find it difficult to focus. Using apps that don’t allow you to check your phone for a period of time can help reduce the amount of times we get distracted by social media. One of my favorites is an app called Flora, where you can grow a little tree for staying off of your phone for the chosen amount of time.

Addiction: Excessive Social Media Usage & Reliance

When we think of addiction, we often think of substance abuse, but it can also happen in areas such as social media usage. Within the millennial generation, substance abuse has actually decreased, but smartphone use has increased and continues to do so. Researchers believe that “those susceptible to addiction have simply shifted to a new drug: smartphones” (Cain 739). Cain also writes about how “neuroimaging studies show that Internet addiction...shows similar increases in activity in brain regions associated with substance-related addictions”. Several studies have indicated that as levels of depression and anxiety of an individual increase, they become more inclined towards social media addiction (Simsek 115). One study showed results of a “positive relationship between social anxiety and social media addiction” (Baltaci 78). Although my study was not nearly extensive enough to determine if any of my participants suffer from social media addiction, I did find that the majority of them spent 3 or more hours on social media a day. In fact, four of those participants responded that they spend 9 or more hours on social media a day.

One thing that many users have experienced is FOMO (the fear of missing out). I have experienced this myself, especially in middle school and early high school. A user who experiences FOMO may feel that if they don’t check their phone, they might miss out on conversations, like in group chats, or things like recent events, opportunities, etc., so it may cause them stress or anxiety if they don’t regularly go on social media. On the other hand, some people get stressed/upset when they do go on social media, because they see photos or posts in general from an event or get-together that they either weren’t invited to or couldn’t make it to. Because of these negative feelings related to social media, FOMO has been associated with unhealthy smartphone use (Cain 739).

That was a lot, so what do we do?

Ok, so I know that was a lot of information, probably too much for a blog post on tumblr, but since I wrote all that out anyway, what do we do with it?

Although there were many negative responses indicating that certain uses of social media had harmful effects on mental health, including studies and results that I didn’t mention, there were also results that showed that many people felt indifferent with social media, and it was sometimes even beneficial (such as the academic use of it).

Those who spent longer amounts of time on social media tended to also feel more negatively when using it, and felt better when they used it less, so I would recommend monitoring your usage time and being careful of spending too much time on it. “Too much time” is very subjective though, so perhaps logging how you feel in relation to how long you spend on social media can give you a good idea of what a good amount is for you personally. Spending more time doing things with our hands/bodies, like physical activity or hobbies, can be very healthy ways of spending our time instead of being on social media. It can help distract us from the urge to check our phones, a distraction from a distraction if you will.

When it comes to content consumption, we all must be careful of what we expose ourselves to. Reducing or even completely cutting out certain content that stresses or upsets us can help tremendously. This can even mean unfollowing certain people who’s posts may make you feel upset, even if you know them personally, were friends at some point, or are just acquaintances. Even though it may feel awkward or even mean to do that, it might help in some cases.

Maybe you could relate to some of the things I wrote about in this post, maybe you didn’t relate at all, but I just want to thank you for reading all the way till the end, and I hope this helped share interesting information that can be useful to you.

#socialmedia #english project #research #research project #social media and mental health #mental health #fomo #growing up with social media #social media #how social media affects us #body image #body positivity

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sassysweetstories · 7 years ago

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Fall To Get Back Up

Request: “OK this is a bit of a stretch but can you do an imagine where the reader is like super duper famous like gigi Hadid and was dating Shawn mendes and he broke up with her and she started smoking again and he sees in it paparazzi photos and he feels bad because she looks sad but a few weeks later new photos of her and Daniel Sharman come out and they both look happy and she looks happy and yeah I know that’s super hard but Idk what I would do without your work💖⚡️⚡️”

Ship: Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader (minor), Daniel Sharman x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fighting, cussing, fluff, angst, guilt, regret, jealousy, mentions of depression, smoking cigarettes, etc.

Notes: none of these gifs are mine, credit to owners.

Tagged: @bailey-hoover @kiralivelove @thalia-prior-of-ravenclaw@anamcg317 @bellasett @queentiffanyyy @archer-whovian-violinist@beingmadinwonderland @princessisabelle19 @violence-and-velvet @lachicadelamanzana

Third P.O.V

Nobody had expected the break up. It was huge, the only thing being talked about. SHAWN MENDES BREAKS UP WITH (Y/N) (Y/L/N)! It’s on every news outlet, can’t run from it even if she tried. Andrew was still trying to wrap his head around the situation himself. From the outside, they looked like the perfect couple, happy and healthy. Almost two years of dating, he decided to dump her for what seems no reason whatsoever. And of course, (Y/n) wanted for the situation, the relationship, to have never happened. Except nobody else would stop talking about it, wouldn’t shut up actually. She wanted to get back to her old life but the tweets kept coming in. Some were positive and others, not so much. (Y/n) tried her best to ignore all of it, find a way to cope. But in doing so, she slipped into old, unhealthy habits. She could still feel his soft lips atop hers, warm and plump as sucked down on another cigarette.

Pushing the shades up to the roof of her nose, (Y/n) pulled out another as she made her way over to the cafe to meet with her agent who’s tried effortlessly to get the young woman out of her house, away from bad habits. She knows she’s going to be pictured. There's always someone lurking around the corner, just when she thinks she’s comfortable. But upon entering the cafe shop, there’s a sense of comfort that she hadn’t had in a while. The smell of warm hot cocoa and old, torn books makes her smile for the first time in months. It doesn’t take her long to find her agent, already sat down with her favorite drink as she sported a sympathetic smile. Her agent, V, hadn’t set her and Shawn up. They had fallen for one another all on their own and V couldn’t help but admit that it was great publicity. This though, this breakup was hard.

“THIS JUST IN! MODEL, ACTRESS AND ACTIVIST, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), SEEN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE BREAKUP WITH CANADIAN MUSICIAN, SHAWN MENDES!” The TV screams and Shawn can’t help but look up, wanting to know if she’s doing okay after their split. The second the image displays, his heart drops. She looks pale and broken, thinner than before as she brought a cigarette up to her lips. Oh my god. . Shawn thought as his face turned pale. I did this to her. . . (Y/n)’s once beautiful and warm face was nothing but cold and lifeless. Her eyes were no longer loving and bright, more gaunty and tired circles. She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks, months even. The longer Shawn looked at the image, the more regret and guilt he had. God, she looks so broken and sad. He couldn’t not feel for her. They were once the item, the talk of the town if you will.

It takes him a minute to actually see the cigarette. Shawn cusses under his breath at himself. How could he have hurt her so much that she slipped back into old habits? Because of it, he was sure that’s why she looked so different, so broken. It takes everything in him to not call her, to beg her to stop and come home but it’s too late. She won’t come back to him, at least he believes that she won’t. (Y/n) looks incredibly different from when they first met and honest to god she looks like someone else entirely. She doesn’t look like the girl he fell in love with. But then again, he did this to her. Maybe, just maybe, all of this could have been prevented. But it was too late.

It had been a few months since he last saw her. After being spotted in the cafe, it’s like she vanished from the tabloids completely all over again. Shawn would never admit that late at night he’d sit atop his bed and scroll through Twitter, almost praying he’d find a photo of her, some reassurance that she was okay because he would always spew a blatant lie when he was asked how he was dealing with the breakup. He wanted to know that she was happy again, that she was content. Shawn missed the way her eyes lit up when she talked about something as simple as flowers, or the way the sun almost seemed to touch the ocean as it peaks up from down below. This ritual continues to happen for the next few days, that is until new pictures start to float around the internet, photos he can’t ignore. There she is, looking more beautiful than the day Shawn met her. Her eyes are wide and glowing, brighter than before. Except this time, she’s not alone. They don’t shimmer that way because of Shawn anymore, they twinkle because another man that wasn’t him.

She’s with a man that looks vaguely familiar to him. The guy was either an actor or musician but he didn’t have to look hard to bring a name to the face. Daniel Sharman, actor on the TV show, Teen Wolf. Even though Shawn is straight, he can’t deny that the guy is a handsome man, built and toned with light brown hair and a mix of both blue and green eyes. His jaw-line could literally cut a diamond and for some reason, the longer Shawn looks at the photos, the more angry he becomes. He hates the way Daniel’s eyes linger on (Y/n) as he wraps his hands around her waist, lovingly. How the young man peppers her shoulders with faint kisses and laughs when she giggles. They looked more happy and content than her and Shawn ever’d been. He hated how affectionate they were with one another, made his stomach turn with jealous disgust. Clicking on one of the videos from the twitter handle, he scoffed as Daniel twirled (Y/n) around to The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. The comment section was over-flowing.

“THEY LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER!”

“SHIP OF THE CENTURY!!”

“i honestly can’t wait to see them get married. like, i want a man who can look at me the way Daniel looks at (Y/n). #totallyjealous”

“mom and dad? mOm aNd dAd? MOM AND DAD!! THAT’S MY MOM AND DAD!”

(Y/n) can still remember the night she first met Daniel. Forced to attend a party she was sure nobody wanted to be at, she’d finally had the chance to slip away from the crowded scene in hopes to have another smoke. As she brought the deplorable stick up to her lips, sucking in slightly, a voice from behind called out to her. “Ya know, smoking that much will shorten your life-span. It’s killing those pretty lungs of yours.” Glancing over her shoulder to find the source of the voice, she hadn’t recognized the gorgeous man in front of her despite a faint familiarity. “And who are you? My father?” She says, sarcastically. “I ain’t got much of a life anymore, doll. Might as well pick up the pace.” Though her voice was joking, there was a hint of truth to which Daniel could clearly see, making his heart hurt for the young woman. “What makes you think you ain’t got a life?” He asks, genuinely curious to learn more of the famous, (Y/n) (Y/L/N).

“I suppose I’m jumping back into old habits after my breakup.” Daniel knew about that, couldn’t run from it even if he tried. But apart of him was happy to have at least some slim of a chance to talk to her, let alone date the woman of his dreams. He’d always admired from afar and thought he’d never have a chance, not until now. In that moment, Daniel takes a risks and hold her hands in his, taking the cigarette out and away from her frail fingertips and puts it out before saying, “Times like these make me think that once you reach the bottom, you can’t go any further down. Sometimes you gotta fall to get back up.” And for the first time in months, (Y/n) feels like she can actually breathe again. It’s like the anvil leaves her chest and she can feel, see hope behind those beautiful bluish, green eyes. From that moment on, they were absolutely smitten.

Of course Shawn wanted (Y/n) to be happy, to not have hurt her the way he had but he couldn’t help but feel hurt upon seeing the photos of the woman he once loved, maybe still loves. There are more videos of them and he can’t not watch them, gritting his teeth while he does so. Daniel runs after (Y/n) before lifting her up into the sky, her giggle echoing across the field before he set her down, both their cheeks red and rosy. Shawn hates the way he kisses her, the way he holds her close to his chest. But he can’t stop watching. There’s another video. She’s on his back, smiling as their friend is about to capture a photo of them. (Y/n) whispers something faint and he can’t quite make out the words until he glances at the caption. “She said ‘I love you’ to him.” Daniel’s jaw drops before he turns over his shoulder to look up at her with loving eyes. Quickly, he drops her before kissing her passionately.

“OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE I’M DYING!!”

“actual couple goals”

“i want a girl like (Y/n), god damn”

“LOOK AT MY PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLLS!”

Shawn tosses his phone to the side, rolling his eyes at the nothing but positive tweets. They were once the it couple. How could things have changed so quickly? Except they really hadn’t. It had been nearly a year after he dumped her. But he supposed seeing her single meant they could still reconnect. But at the end of the day, he’d done this to her. Shawn dumped her and she got back from the bottom and found a man who loved her more than life itself.

(I hope you guys liked it! PLEASE. FUCKING. COMMENT)

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tbhstudying · 7 years ago

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hi seo! I was wondering if you had any tips or links to studying and staying on top of school work with a mental illness?? Im usually p good about finishing up my homework and studying for a test a few minutes a day but theres days where depression hits me full on and i just cant force myself to be productive and i get tired insanely quickly and it isnt very good for,,, anything at all?? ive tried reward systems and the pomodoro method but it rarely, if ever, helps,,, thank you for any help!

i always fall back on my 10 minute work time and force myself through it in hopes of falling into a workflow. i talk abt it in my faq in the procrastination section + in my procrastination video.

honestly, in these times, it absolutely sucks and it’s so incredibly hard to get anything done. idk abt you but for me, i almost always end up hating myself even more for being unable to get any work done so the 10 minute method manages to make me feel even the tiniest bit better than i usually would.

taking 30 minutes to cope can help too. i usually end up making myself a cup of tea, drinking water, washing my face, playing video games, etc etc. just some sort of routine where i don’t rly have to think as much + something that makes me smile at least for a little bit.

im gonna put the rest under the cut bc i ended up rambling a bunch!! sorry ;; tw: mentions of self-harm

sometimes, i scroll thru a bunch of cat accounts on instagram or i read thru messages that my friends send me in hopes of smiling and finding something happier to think abt for a little while.

also? just talking abt being sad and abt your emotions and having a good cry helps too. if ur inclined to hurt yourself, write on your skin with a washable marker instead bc self harm is Not Good and it Sucks. write abt it in a journal or write it on a scrap piece of paper and tear it up. and unrelated but if ur bothered abt your scars, slap some neosporin on them if they’re fresh and bandage it up. if they’re not but the marks are still there, aloe vera gel helps a bunch + concealer can work too (just make sure to clean it off thoroughly.) stay safe!!!!!!!! I DO NOT RECOMMEND but just in case. remember that scars do fade and it’s possible to heal, both mentally and physically.

also, if you’re tired, just go to sleep early and hold off the work for later. that’s something that i personally need to get better on because 1. my sleep cycle is wrecked and 2. i’m sleep-deprived to the point where i become snappy and not nice which i Do Not Like and i feel like i’m pushing other people away from me. sleep is a very important thing and i saw smth on twitter listing the health problems associated with little sleep and i got Scared oh boy

i’ve got a tag for health which will have posts regarding mental health too. and in the end, remember that you are worth all of the stars in the sky and that happier times will come. your feelings are valid and it’s ok to feel sad, but remember that i’ll be here to cheer you on. you have the strength to pick yourself back up and hey, you’ve survived all of these other days. that only shows how resilient you are. you’re doing it, anon, and i hope that you’re doing okay.

#mental health #health #tw self-harm #tw depression #anon #ask

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askguyslikeus · 7 years ago

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oh shit yall send lots of questions hoo nelly answering almost all of them under the cut ,,, im gunan try and answer more technical ones first then fun ones and ones about the mod later so u dont gotta scroll all the way to the bottom for the good deets

Hi! I'm still kinda new to the blog and I was wondering what are the 'do and do-not' kind question I should do? Because im sure theres always that one ask thats just Innapropiated, like that one of Michael 'taking advantage og high Jeremy' that was just not cool. i got this ask a lot so ill be clear with yall. im just not a big angst fan? so sending michael asks about his anxiety nonstop and about how he had a panic attack in the bathroom over and over again wasnt that fun. usually if it pertains the musical though you should be find sending an ask about it? but sometimes i get asks that are like “jeremy ur nothing and how does it feel knowing u fucked everything up” like homie how i think its feels? how u think hes gunna react to that? i made this blog to negate a lot of negativity in my own life so i can promise u im going to be answering asks mostly positive always forever. that being said tho i sometimes get asks pertaining to a few things that ive dealt with in the past and these topics make me very very uncomfortable. dont send asks about these topics please. this is the no no list

-self harm, cancer, suicide, rape, parent death, car accidents, sudden death.

What was your inspiration for this blog? hoo boy well,,, ultimately i thought of them rooming together and got emotional and made a huge list of headcanons and was like ,,, why not run an askblog for a bit ill just abandon it after three asks lets have some fun. but somehow im still here and i got sucked in by the complexity of michael and jeremy. i know that sounds kinda silly but just, as someone who is dealing with a lot of similar things, like dependency issues and abandonment issues and depression and anxiety, having these fun functioning character to explore was such a gift for me. i believe honestly thats why im still here and doing this. being able to try and portray a healthy relationship and a healthy way of coping and growing has helped me a lot this past month and given me an outlet i didnt have before. TBH THO the main reason i made this blog if imma be real with u guys id because i didnt like the treatment of a lot of these issues in the fandom. it made me very upset to see depression used as an plot device and michaels dependency issues treated as romantic so i wanted to make a blog that had little to no angst. ANYWAYS somehow im still here ,,, gvrkjvrnkjfd sorry i rambled

honestly I just wanna say first that I love his blog and your art and you're so cool and kind!! a question would be (I'm not sure if you've answered this before or not) but is there like an on going story here, or is it mostly just answering questions with the characters set in this universe? (if that makes sense I'm sorry!) thank you, you're super awesome! ❤️ djrnjg first off thank u so much aaaa,, ive kind of answered this before but its ok its been a while since then! but um i do kinda have a story but how howdy i sure am dragging my feet. the story isn a hUGE OVERARCHING EPIC OF WOE AND THIS PERSON IS UPSET AND THIS PERSON IS MAD AT THIS PERSON its just michael and jeremy getting together. i have a plan and ive talked to a few people on how i want it to happen but ive gained like ,,,, 6,000 followers since then and im kinda nervous BUT ILL DO MY BEST but also please understand that i do this for fun for myself and if i dont get to it im so so so sorry woops

i know this has been said before but i'm really really happy w how you're handling so many aspects of their characters. i.e. michael being trans, michael and jeremy's anxiety, michael's dependency issues, and other stuff i'm too tired to think of. you made the characters have even more depth than they did in the play and i'm rly grateful for the way you're dealing w my favorite boys. (also your richjake is suuuper adorable) ahhhhhh thank u so much? i talked a bit about this on my main but im really glad people are happy with my decision on this blog because im suPER SUPER NERvous anytime i post an ask dealing with these things. (ask hachi or nate i always message them like freaking out and send them my scripts and asks and wait for them to tell me its ok before i post it omg) also like i talked about before i love,,, having these fun stoner gamer boys to explore these issues with. im honestly shocked by how many people also deal with dependency issues because when i first listened to the musical i was so overwhlemed by the song michael int he bathroom because i had never heard someone basically write “dependency issue: the song” and it felt so so so good to realize i wasnt alone in this pit of despair i fall into so easily aha. but im!! glad everyone is ok with this wild ride im on right now (also thank u so much i struggle writing rich and jake but i get so emotional cause they would TOTES call each other babe)

how come you just use sketch form for most of your drawing (sketches and uses sketch for the final result)? im ,,, not really sure what this is asking but i thnk its along the lines of why do i only sketch my answers?? and i do that because dude do u see how often i post and how lONG some of them are. i made this blog for fun and i love doing comics but i hate lineart and coloring and if i tried to churn out finished pics for every post id defs have given up a few asks in,, shrugs

I want to say I love your little comics they're so funny! How long does it take you to make a comic? Are any of them based on your experiences? Ok have a nice day! thank you! i love my little comics too! it usually takes me anywhere from an hour to five hours if im dragging my ass or talking on discord while im drawing. it can be kinda exhausting but since i took my break ive also been like, starting long comics one day and finishing them another day which, before i would do it all in one sitting then post it hahha. AS FOR EXPERIENCE the first half of the lifeguard comic was based on real life! we were stuck stoned up there for like an hour or two? but we didnt have anyone to help us but we got down eventually!! the wendys comic is also something i did because man!! i need to compliment food workers if they do a good job!! ummmmm just like jenna i also have a friend that said HAHA BYE and moved to cali and she is also lIVING IT UP and doing really well for herself and shes very independent and shes very inspiring to me! hmm i think thats it besides i used to have movie nights with my dad all the time too except we would watch my fave animated movies and sometimes lord of the rings cause my dad loved that

What kinds of things can we NOT ask ? What kinds of things do you WANT us to ask ? i covered the what not to ask in the first question so!!! um if my askbox is open and u want to respond to previous asks ive answered for the boys that would be so so so rad. sometimes im done with a certain ask and i have nothing to add but sometimes ive got more to say but am looking for an opportunity! that being said it made me really happy that i got a lot of asks about pj? shes not going to the main focus of any more asks but!!! i was nervous to introduce her and im glad u guys like her shes fun to write. but overall just general asks i can make a big ol fun story out of so!! dont worry too much about what to ask, if its something ud ask a real person and not like “lol what if ur dad died” ur gunna be fine probably

Hi! Not a question but your blog is so sweet and refreshing! I actually really appreciate that you refuse angst, that stuff tends to rub me the wrong way in fandoms... Keep taking good care of these boys ! gggg thank u!!! it means a lot to me that a lot of people are backing me up on this! i mean if u are an angst fan there are a lot of askblogs that explore that!! so its not in short supply bmc askblog fandoms got something for everyone

Which drawing program do you use?? i use paint tool sai and my tablet is a cintiq !!

this isn't really related to the faq but that bakunawa boy reference was great I LOVE THAT FIC MAN!!! the line was originally a little diff in that ask but i changed it cause ,,,, i could,,,,

an art style question. how do you keep the design of characters consistent from frame to frame? my characters they look a lil different every time I draw em (or a lot different) and it tends to disrupt the flow of my comics/animations ohh boy hoo wee props for doing animations im too scared to give that a whirl but!! it helps that i draw all the panels for an ask on one canvas! so if my next panel is going to be the same character in the same spot just in a diff pose i keep the lower layer on just at low opacity so i can use it as a ref! that helps me a lot!

Sorry if I'm nosy or rude, but are you reflecting Micheal Anxiety, Panic attacks and depence? iii think this is asking if i reflect my own issues onto them boys? and if so then yes i do. i dont place any of my own personality or anything on the boys but i do use them as a way to help me learn how to cope with my own shit and i try to deal with their issues in the healthiest way possible while also keeping in mind they are flawed individuals aaa

what are your pronouns??? and maybe your main blog?? im a cis girl so she/her is good! and my main is squigglegigs! also that being said IF YOU SEE THE USERNAME SQUIGGLEGIGS ANYWHERE JUST?? ASSUME ITS ME?? i have a twitter and an instagram and my tumblr account

((Hello mod will Michael and Jeremy eventually someday get together. I love them.)) if all goes according to plan yes! if i get overwhelmed and stop having fun on this blog then no! sorry thems the breaks but! i do want them to get together so HOPEFULLY

going off on that confrience on pornogrefy for birds, Im geussing jeremy has played Hatoful Boyfriend. am I wrong? well it wasnt intended as that ref and i dont know anything about hatoful boyfriend but i can see jerm finding it and playing it so, sure homie! the pornography for birds thing is a my brother my brother and me reference! i love that show and them boys so give it a scope!

I'm crying bcuz Michael said he's in love with Jeremy and it's beautiful yeah that boy is DEEP IN love with his bro bro

Any advice for running an ask blog?? (Ps i love this blog keep it up) personally whats worked for me so far is doing just sketches for art. honestly ive been able to work so much more and post so much more often while also trying to work on my expressions and poses! also taking my own experiences and shaping them to fit the characters has been SO MUCH FUN. th most important thing tho is,,, dont overwork urself dude. if ur having a fun time it shows. if ur just forcing urself to churn out material and its not fun? like shit we doing this for free dont push urself? idk idk overall being looser with my art and writing the dialogue before hand has been the most helpful for me for this askblog! ive run a bunch before including @ask-maz and ive run that sporadically for ,, three or four years? its so funny cause u can see my art style juMP AROUND SO MUCH but i love that blog and i only update it like every other month or so but?? i still like doing it and no on likes those posts but it makes me smile so ANYWAYS

~ok from here on its mostly just me replying to nice messages or people asking me personal questions that dont pertain to askguyslikeus so!!~

I just wanted to say I really really love your blog and just your art in general!! Keep up the good work and hope you're having fun! thank u!!! i am having fun and im glad u enjoy it!!

What other musicals do you like? :0 i really like heathers A LOT. i also like doctor horrible i know thats not technically a musical but i just relistened to it and im emotional. i like dear evan hansen but it makes me really sad so i can only take it in moderation! ummm rent? chicago?? music man? now im just naming musicals i was in rip. being in a musical fandom is a new thing to me? i was really into heathers last year but didnt really interract with the fandom at SO THIS IS SUPER NEW?? ive never been into a musical as much as im into bmc and heathers tho

tell us a little bit about urself!! u seem v cool i am squigs or fork!! im 24 and work fulltime as a barista at starbucks! i get high on the beach with my friend gwen a lot and drink wayy to many slushies, my tv shows are brooklyn nine nine and bobs burgers right now! i table at conventions sometimes and sell my art as merch and whatnot and i cosplay as a hobby as well. im pretty boring but i draw a lot and always carry my big sketchbook with me and im pretty sure its given me back issues BUT OH WELL HAHA also i am very not cool THE TRUTH COMES OUT

Who do you most relate to from bmc and why? like ,,, a mix of michael and christine with a sprinkle of jeremy i guess ahaha i relate to michaels dependency issues and overarching positive attitude and love of music, i relate to christines bright disposition and the need to not stick to one set thing? like she loves theater cause she can be sO MANY PEOPLE and like same homie thats why i cosplay. and jeremys need to be likes while also ability to put himself out there is very relatable. i also identify strongly with his dad issues idk idk whats good

Also -- just thank you for how you handled all the panic attack and anxiety attack asks. I used to deal with anxiety attacks multiple times a day and it just was really nice that it was positive and not them having one. Thank you, sincerely. ahhhhhh ur so welcome i,,, have anxiety and it sucks and i deal with panic attacks like everyday at work so i dont really wanna come home and draw someone having one i guess? im glad its helping other people too tho!

Dude- I love your art? Actually so much? It's... I love it. The whole sketch-ish way your art style is, and the way you color, and the expressions! I'm so glad I found your work - you've given me so much inspiration. Keep doin what you're doin and I hope you have a good day! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANytime any one compliments my expressions i die cause i legit made this blog to help with that as well ,,, like dam

im lvoe ur art style b o i :0 !!!!!!

Mod, I love you so much I love you you have my soul and my love and my eternal gratitude thank you and I love you (This is the guy who was excited about PJ on your ig live stream a while ago and I love you) !!!!!!!!! im so happy u like my content omg and that u like pj im so glad!! shes a good bean

I just wanna say... I'm crying over that post about Michael and his anxiety? cuz I know how it can feel that you're only your flaws and weaknesses, but Michael just tells that to screw off in the most wonderful way and I'm?? thank you so much for that post, I bookmarked it for future times when I can't look past my depression... honestly, that post made my day (along with every other post on this blog), thank you for being such a lovely part of this fandom ,,,, im,,,, im scared of a lot of this fandom tbh but if i can be something good that come out of it and my love of these boys and desire to show them functioning together in a healthy way can help other people its so much more than i ever thought id ever be able to do. i am blown away everyday by the support ive been given on this blog and i might be crying right now because i never thought id be able to touch other people like this and i just. im really glad yall are here with me for all this.

(To the mod: You are a beautiful person that I highly respect. I love this blog and what you set out to do. thanks for giving something that makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to everyday, keep up the good work! ❤ ) hey im still crying from the previous ask aaaaa im honestly so emotional

what are ur true feelings for wendy's??? i fucking love wendys man thats some top tier fast food right there

what fast food restaurant do you think has the best nuggets WENDYS HANDS DOWN

do you have a favorite movie? paranorman makes me very nostalgic and ive seen it like eighty times and used to watch it with my dad a lot and i love it

I would just like you to know that your Wendy's comic prompted me to pull the same thing with a bakery in the town I'm visiting and the baker got so excited and happy, so thank you for making that comic because I made that woman's day. GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME WHEN IM WORKING DUDE LIKE IM SO GLAD IT MADE U DO THIS!!! IM SMILING REALLY BIG!!

chocolate milk or strawberry milk? or plain? woops i hate milk im so sorry

do u love michael mell with all of ur heart, mod? i really truly do man what a fucking good ass character

hi squigs i love you! i love your content too and i hope u have a good day pal :> WHAT A SWEET BEAN!!! THANK YOU?? OMG

I'm just saying that recent ask you did with Michael really hit me hard because I really related to it and I started crying because it made me realize that I've been pining my self worth on everything my anxiety causes and I'm so much more than that. Thank you, so much for that I really needed it because I'm in a really bad place right now. <3 -for the mod i legit cry everytime i get asks or dms like this cause once again the idea that im helping other people is so ovwehelming i love you??? i let myself just be”depressed” for ahwile and by that i mean i just,, let my sadness consume me and i was scared of getting better cause the sadness was all i knew for so long and just. its so easy to think u are ur illness but you are so much more. soooo much more man.

I relate A Lot to Michael so the way you portray him in the blog is really good, and I think it's really awesome you refuse to like?? do terrible stuff and answer bad questions just bc people wanna see that. You run this blog really well 👌 AHHHH THis is the biggest compliment thank u so much ,,, i get real anxious bout this blog soemtiems but then yall send me sweet things like this and its worth it man

Hey mod, just know you're a really cool person. Thanks for running this blog in the first place. Keep doing the great work. thank you!!!! for ur support!!!!

not really a question!! i just wanted to say your posts on this blog always brighten my day and you're really an incredible artist and person, keep rockin on my dude!! *clutching my heart* the fuck this is so sweet

1 .I just wanted to say your blog is really awesome! It's very lovely. I also like how you made michael trans and like handled it? (just with how all the characters treat him and stuff its v nice). Your art is super duper! Thanks for running this awesome blog! 2. Hey! This isn't a question but I wanted to say that I appreciate michael being trans!! As a trans boy it's just rly awesome to see something like that casually thrown into an ask blog without making it a huge weird deal :D immm,,, i kinda really love the idea of michael being trans cause a lot of my trans male friends are actually pretty confident in their skin and michael is a very confident character? and u rarely see that with trans representation and its so refreshing to see it portrayed well. im trying to do that here but again if! i do anything wrong let me know!

how did you first get into art? (also i really love your blog, it's amazing!) ive been drawing as long as i remember! ive got mad adhd and wasnt diagnosed until late in ym life so i would just draw nonstop in my classes ahaha i used to read the sunday comics a lot and they really inspired me to try and make comics of my own too!! (and omg thank u)

someone also asked me if i went to church or was religious but tumblr ate the ask but i used to go to church a lot as a kid but im currently not religious at all aaa

ok holy shit that was a lot but thanks again to everyone i legit cry a lot about how supportive u all are thank u so much aaaa

#modpost #holy fuck that was so much

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blooming-blooming · 8 years ago

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So I've been scrolling through your blog for a while now and I hope that I don't bother you with my post zexal shipping related questions^^' If I saw right you ship hellshark and that you think that it will need a lot of time before it happens but mentioned that you believe that ryouga has a one sided crush on yuma and that durbe is in love with ryoga/nasch. So what makes hellshark your endgame ship for ryoga, considering the mess that is his love life?How do you think they got together?

HELLO ANON!!!! I hope you enjoy my horrible train of shitposts that is slightly more moderated than the hurricane of shitposts that is my twitter account.

Don’t ever feel bad about sending me asks about my Zexal opinions on basically anything, because I live to talk incessantly about Zexal. I actually saw this ask on my way to work so I couldn’t answer it then, and when I ended up having a really bad day, remembering I could come home and answer this ask was one of the things that helped calm me down from a really bad anxiety attack.♥

Ok this got really really long because despite not talking about it much I have a lot of Thoughts about HellShark and Shark himself in general (though I talk about Mizael and III way more, Shark is actually my second favorite Zexal character after Kaito) so this is going under a cut

As for your actual question: The biggest reason I ship Shark with IV as opposed to Yuma or Durbe is because of his dual identity of Ryoga Kamishiro and Nasch. Namely, that IV is one of, if not the only person besides Rio/Merag to acknowledge his dual identity to his face; in his duel against Nasch, he starts out deadset to bring back Ryoga, but once he realizes towards the end of the duel that Nasch is trying to make him hate him so he’ll have no regrets being a Barian, he ends up accepting his death and tells Nasch he understands that he couldn’t change his situation.This is in contrast to Yuma, who definitely tries to understand Shark’s situation, but is still just a 13 year old and ultimately can’t, and for the most part just treats Ryoga and Nasch as the same person, as opposed to them being the same person and different people simultaneously. Durbe flat out rejects Ryoga the second he realizes that he’s Nasch.

Another thing is just how the interactions of the characters played out that lead to my ships is that, while a lot of Shark’s actions really, REALLY read as having feelings towards Yuma, to me, Yuma’s reactions… just feel like he really loves and cares about Shark as a friend and nothing more. It’s like how my best friend and I are both wlw, and while I love my best friend with every fiber of my being, the way I love her is different than the way I love my actual girlfriend, if that makes sense.As for Durbe, I can’t deny that a lot of his actions towards Nasch (and some of his smaller ones to Merag) are also very romantically oriented, but… I’m just not interested in Durbe as a character, honestly. That, and I love one sided gay feeling angst because Boy, have I been there.I have put some thought into it, though, and I do think I’d like a post-canon Tomoshipping fic where Durbe slowly gets to know and fall in love with Ryoga as much as Nasch. I wouldn’t write it myself, but I’d definitely read it. I also realized that I’m pretty sure at one point early on in II Durbe mentions that he’s the one who gave Tron his powers, which means he’s indirectly responsible for ruining the love of his life’s life without meaning it. I think a fic about that could be really interesting, too.

There’s also something really beautiful and romantic to me about someone who’s gotten so badly belittled and verbally abused as Thomas being loved and reassured by a highly respected king like Nasch.

As for how they get together… I don’t think they do for a few years, post canon. I think Shark is probably extremely mentally unstable for at the very least a few months, and many days he can’t even get out of bed. It takes him a long time to piece his identity together and decide what aspects of Ryoga are and aren’t valid to him – while Ryoga Kamishiro was mostly a vessel used to carry Nasch, he still did live most of Ryoga’s life for him. He is just as much Ryoga as he is Nasch. Meanwhile, IV is still mentally unstable himself. I wrote something that goes more into that here, but while he’s definitely started on the path of recovery from his abuse in II, I think he still has a long ways to go before he can see Shark again without guilt.

Basically, both of them want to see each other again, but neither have the means mentally to be in contact. I’d think Shark makes the first move (IV doesn’t want to initiate contact because he wants to be positive Shark is ready) after about a year. From there, it takes a long time for the two of them to just become friends; between their baggage, getting caught up with each other, and the fact that despite Shark being IV’s only friend, they’ve never really… done anything that friends do. And, I think in this time period, they realize how alike their problems really are – Shark isn’t the only one who has a dual identity, and Thomas Arclight is a different person than his unhealthy coping mechanism, IV. It leads to a lot of bonding and understanding/support that’s different than the support they’ve gotten from their siblings.

I think they’d start dating after… maybe a year, year and a half of this, so effectively 2-3 years after Zexal ends. Once they’re older IV moves in to the Kamishiro mansion with him and they live together. They never get married because neither of them think they need to to validate their love; they don’t have kids either, but that’s okay because Thomas has 5 Great Pyrenees dogs to fill any void that would be there. There’s something really appropriate about the mental image of them as adults as the gay uncles with no kids but a bunch of exotic fish and a bunch of dogs instead in a mansion together.

#zexal #kamishiro ryouga #thomas arclight #disqualifyshipping #hellshark #shipping nonsense

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years ago

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Can you really change your life in a week? We tried... with surprising results

http://fashion-trendin.com/can-you-really-change-your-life-in-a-week-we-tried-with-surprising-results/

Can you really change your life in a week? We tried... with surprising results

Can’t sleep? Burnt out? Gut hell? We hear you. It’s time to take a holiday for your health…

The gut health transformer: By Alessandra Steinherr

For years, my stomach problems have dictated what I wear (always loose over the tummy), and left me doubled over with cramps. I’ve tried most DIY diagnostics, from colonics (temporarily effective, but horrid) to cutting out food groups (short-lived bloat relief), but found no long-term solution. After another meeting smiling through the pain, I knew I had to get to the bottom of this.

The lowdown: This was no job for a spa; it was time to get serious and head to a medical resort: VIVAMAYR Altaussee, in the Austrian Alps. I ate boiled potatoes and vegetable broth for a week. It was monotonous, but surprisingly soothing on the stomach. I kept myself busy so I didn’t think about food – I swam, walked and even gritted my teeth through the daily dose of Epsom Salts. They’re difficult to swallow, but they do lead to proper elimination of waste. My daily check-in with the doctor for abdominal manipulation reassured me I was in safe hands, the amazing spa treatments kept my spirits up and visits to the infrared sauna ensured a good night’s sleep. Plus, food intolerance tests found my body couldn’t take casein, the protein in milk and other dairy products. Finally, a reason for the pain!

Zen moment: A blissful change of scene each day walking the hour-and-a-half circle around the beautiful Lake Altaussee – it was my moving meditation and kept me focused. Also a must: an osteopathy session with miracle-worker Michael Kreis, and a facial with Tarryn Warren. Your skin will never look better.

I cleared my gut and cured my infertility

Get me out of here: The worst part was ditching the two coffees I rely on daily. VIVAMAYR recommended I cut them out before the retreat and I should have done as I was told. Ouch! The headaches kicked in, but they gave me painkillers at my lowest point to ease the pain.

Life-changing lessons: No more lunching at my desk. I take a break, focusing on chewing each bite (they recommend 30-40 times). It takes some getting used to, but it means I eat less as it takes so long to finish. My digestion started to settle. By switching from raw to cooked food in the evenings, the bloating has subsided. And I’m still allowed my beloved coffee – just without milk as it’s easier to digest.

Back home, the improvements have continued: no more cramps and I can wear high-waisted trousers. I feel more energetic and although weight-loss wasn’t my motivation, I have lost 3kgs. Yes, I might slip once in a while, but now I know how to get back on track.

The details: Prices start from approx £212 per night per person; a stay of seven nights is recommended to see results from the programme. vivamayr.com

Mastering mindfulness: By Kate Leaver

I live with bipolar, and last year wrote my first book through a fairly gnarly depressive episode. I somehow managed to make it to 83,399 words on a serious deficit of serotonin, but by the time I’d finished, I was relieved and triumphant but totally depleted. I found myself downing cookies for comfort, my skin broke out and I realised I was burnt out.

The lowdown: I jumped on a train to The Sharpham Trust, a rambling 18th-century house sat on a hill above the River Dart in Devon. Four days at a retreat designed specifically for people with ‘burnout’ felt like a gift. I was ready to learn how to meditate and be mindful, but not prepared for the emotional journey I was about go on. In my group of 20, I meditated four times a day, went on long walks, ate hearty vegetarian meals, learnt skills to cope with burnout, got vulnerable in group sessions, did Tai Chi and observed silence for hours a day.

Zen moment: Sitting meditation can be peaceful, tranquil, centering. It can also be really difficult to concentrate, especially when someone next to you is snoring. For me, the best type of meditation was walking meditation, where you focus on breathing and the forward movement of your body. I walked the 25 steps between two trees purposefully yet peacefully, over and over, listening to my own thoughts and breathing out my anxieties. I loved it.

Get me out of here: So, around day three, it got too much for me. We did an exercise where we had to pair up, lean our hands against the other person’s and practise saying “NO” over and over again until we meant it. It was supposed to test our boundaries, but for me, it just brought up memories of a traumatic time when I didn’t get the chance to say “no”, and I felt shaken by the whole exercise. As is my way, I retreated to my room and slept it off for several hours. I wanted nothing more than to get back on that train, but I pushed through, meditated some more and forced myself to feel the courage of the people around me.

Life-changing lessons: My friends rave about meditation, but I’ve always jokingly rolled my eyes and thought that a bit of silent sitting around couldn’t be life-changing. But I may have been converted. Starting the day with 20 still, silent minutes of introspection seems like a far healthier thing to add to my morning ritual, rather than refreshing Twitter.

How to meditate (even when you really can’t be bothered)

We learnt a deeply helpful little mantra, too: “May I be safe. May I be kind to myself. May I accept myself the way I am.” I fully intend to chant those sentences every time I’m tempted to listen to a self-deprecating taunt of my own – and I suspect that could be genuinely life-changing. As I left my new friends at the end of the week, everyone seemed calmer and more at peace with themselves. I believe it takes diligent, emotional homework over time to truly change your life, but I got a helluva headstart on this loving, elucidating retreat.

The details: The Sustaining Ourselves: Breaking Free From Burnout retreat at The Sharpham House starts from £375 per person for four nights, including food and activities. sharphamtrust.org; thetrainline.com*

The sleep reset: By Sophie Qureshi

I haven’t had quality sleep in years. I often lie awake until 2 or 3am, my mind whirring. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I’d trade my Gucci loafers for an extra hour in bed. I always look really tired, and if I skip blusher, people start asking if I’m feeling OK. I’ve tried everything from listening to whale sounds (creepy) to drenching my bed linen with lavender pillow mists, but I’m still no closer to nailing eight hours a night.

The lowdown: When I heard about the retreat at The Capra Hotel in Saas-Fee, Switzerland, I jumped at the chance. Designed by a neuroscientist and other experts, the programme addresses everything from physical fitness, nutrition and thought patterns to ‘sleep hygiene’. There’s no lying in, with energising pre-breakfast exercises, then a quad-testing, three-hour hike. Afternoons are more leisurely, with a gentle yoga session to down-regulate the nervous system.

I do yoga twice a week and it’s totally transformed my body and health

Meals were tailored to enhance my zzzs, with sugar-free menus. The beautiful presentation distracted me from the smaller portions – it made me realise it’s often my mind eating more than my body needs. While there wasn’t a strict digital detox, I did sign a pledge to turn off my phone after dinner so the blue light wouldn’t affect my production of melatonin. Instead of my usual Instagram scroll, evenings were taken up with meditation and massages in the spa. Then, after some WelleCo Sleep Well Calming Tea, I curled up in my Alpine-chic suite, ready for sleep.

Zen moment: Gently coming around in the candlelit yoga studio and realising I’d drifted off during a yoga nidra session. The practice is supposed to take you to a state of deep relaxation between waking and sleeping but it was so effective, I was out for the count. Thankfully, I’m told I didn’t snore.

Get me out of here: The hardest part was walking past all the windows of Saas-Fee’s chocolate shops. Cutting out sugar in the name of good slumber is one thing, but doing it in the land of the Toblerone was a real test.

Life-changing lessons: One of the most effective tricks I learnt to stop my thoughts racing before bed was alternate nostril breathing: close your left nostril with your right thumb and inhale through the right nostril. Pause, then alternate and hold the right nostril as you exhale through the left. After ten cycles, I forget what I’ve been worrying about.

I’ve also realised daytime choices impact my sleep, from making sure I’m active enough to eating dinner early, so I don’t flop into bed feeling stuffed. Another take-home was how damaging screen time is, so instead of using my phone to wake me up, I’ve bought an alarm clock to avoid getting sucked into WhatsApp before bed. The biggest difference is waking up at the same time each day, to keep my body clock balanced. It means I get an extra half a day of weekend!

The details: The Summer Peak Health Core Retreat starts at £5,640 per person for one week, including full board, health, nutrition and lifestyle assessments and a Sleep Improvement Kit. peakhealthretreat.com

This article appeared in GLAMOUR Magazine’s Spring bi-annual

How to get to sleep: tricks and tips from Team GLAMOUR

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