#ohmygod all my issues will be SOLVED

[wenkexingdefenselawyer]

a toddblack kiss would fix me

[pinazee]

Season 3 time!

Ghosts!

And oh baby are they coming out swinging with all that juicy drama. Prepare yourselves ya’ll, im about to read way too much into things.

How come we’ve never seen Ray?? He’s henrys partner; given cop lore i would think he’d be a pretty significant person in his and probably shawns life, especially since he seems to be a voice of reason trying to get henry not to go through with arresting his son. Does he show up later? I don’t remember.

“Oo i have rights, thatll be new and fun” -i know that this line is probably just shawn being a bit dramatic but like, it cut me deep.

“This officially ends your chances of being a cop” -its just really sad that henry thinks thats whats going to make him rethink his actions. But also, i think this means Shawn was thinking of going down that path up until his mom left, because maddy even says when she left she thought he was going to be okay. Given Shawns character its kind of surprising he didn’t rebel against his dad long before that. Personally, i think shawn knew his arguments with his dad made things worse between his parents so he did what his dad wanted to keep the peace. Then when maddy left, well, there was no reason to keep the peace anymore.

Now, the henry of it all. This just makes me so sad. And i know they kind of say it’s the reason he retired later, that he regretted it, but i cant believe he ever thought this would “scare him straight,” and the way its shot certainly doesn’t seem like henry ever tried to connect with him. Like, if they wanted us to sympathize with henry later, they could have given us a shot of henry having second thoughts or even explained how Shawn was using the fact that henry was a cop to get away with breaking the law because he never thought his own dad would arrest him. They could have explained how shawns actions were becoming more and more reckless and henry didn’t know what else to do. But i think the reason they didn’t was because shawn is our protagonist and they didn’t want to muck up his character that much. I think it could’ve added some depth, personally. The way its shot though, it just makes henry look like an ass, sticking to the law unwaveringly without any remorse. (Sidenote-i can see how gus’s parents would think shawn was a bad influence)

Hes so rough with him :( (also baby lassie! Aww look at his little mustache)

I had to look up pinochet. Thats a heck of a reference.

Completely overlooked that haversham warmed his hot coco in a teapot. What an idiot (thats brilliant)

I love that each person in the show is like a dork for something. Juliet has weird football facts, carlton has westerns and guns, shawn has a few but i think favors movies, and gus has literally everything

I love the mystery of this ep! They make you think shawns solving one case (the ghost), and then you find out he is the ghost and they make you think Shawn had that one plan but then psych!turns out hes really looking for dirt the whole time. Also, shawn has to know quite a bit about business to pull that summary out of his hat. I might add it to his list of random skills.

Why would she have to clear henry for twisting his ankle? Also, now that i think about it, henry doesn’t seem the type to 1. Actually talk to a shrink or 2. Think highly enough of them to want to date one. So i have to imagine young maddy was a smoke show and he lost all sensibility.

I love that she calls him goose. Thats such a cute little nickname- that i need to know the origin of. Was this a goose and maverick thing? Was she maverick? Also, we get some more insight into shawns gifts because it implies he can remember everything hes heard thanks to his mother. So thats neat, and a cool way to show his “powers” didn’t necessarily all come from henry. Its nice to see maddy gave him something other than abandonment issues.

Ohmygod its so sad that shawn thinks his dad would sabotage him with his own mother jesus christ this family.

I wanted to end this with my thoughts on Maddy. I love that we see bits of shawns personality that came from her. He got her charisma, certain aspects of her humor, certain ways of speaking (like when carlton says, “then you wouldnt be opposed to me patting you down,” and maddy deadpan replied, “actually im very opposed to that.” It just sounded like something shawn would say). i love how the episode frames the narrative from shawns perspective too by putting maddy on a pedestal. Shes a very likable person. She takes his side when he tells her henry never told him she was coming, tells henry to buy him a phone, goes toe to toe with lassie and keenly gets him to open up.

But come on. This lady sucks.

First of all, SHAWN HASNT SEEN HIS MOM IN 3 YEARS, mind you the show says they’ve been doing Psych for about a year, so thats two years where he’s bouncing from job to job and not once did he visit her. And she was out of the country apparently and never told him she was back- why wouldn’t you let your kid know you were coming back to the country? She couldn’t shoot him an email or texted?

I would argue she is almost a worse parent by the sheer neglect alone. She gives off the impression of someone having never wanted to be a mom. she never seems to be around when shawn was little, we never see or hear of shawns mom sticking up for him against henrys teachings, and she straight up abandoned him the first chance she saw. And then on top of that, fails to communicate with him.

Lastly, I cant believe maddy (a psychologist mind you!) never talked to shawn about any of this years ago. She assumed henry would explain it all, but what part of his personality ever gave her the impression that henry could have an open and honest conversation with Shawn? And shawn says they used to talk all the time, but, like, how long ago because it seems like they haven’t had any real conversations in a long time. So its not just that she left him physically, but she also left him on his own to handle the emotional burden, because his dad certainly couldn’t talk about it. Shes the one who left shawn to pick up the pieces, not henry.

I mean its no wonder shawn struggles to form long lasting relationships.

P.S

Boneless shawn! Boneless shawn! My heart is filled with so much warm nostalgia it might burst! I remember when this first aired i laughed so goddamn much!

[pinyeti]

overwhelming day today here's the debrief

I have two humongous final projects both worth half my grade due on Wednesday and im losing my mind AND I HAVE A PAPER DUE TOMORROW MORNING AT 8AM AND I HAV.E AMIDTERM TOMORROW AT 3.30Pn, my groups suck for both projects and THEY JUST

MY GOD

I DONT MIND DOING ALL THW WORK EXCEPT IM GENUINELY SO FUCKIN TIRED OF DOING ALL THE FUCKIN WORK ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND IM SO SICK OF IT AND IM SO FUCKIN SICK OF IT IM SO FUCIN TIRED OF DOING THIS ALL THE FUCKIN TIME

and I just

I have this friend who im kinda close too but she's curt with me sometimes and we are kinda rude to each other as a joke but she just

she's rude to me sometimes on purpose and I dont know why and I just feel like she hates me and won't tell me why and I JUST I do love her and it bothers me ig and Ive had alot of issues with this friend and every time I try to solve anything

yeah

and I am having a huge body image attack which isn't that deep but whatever and my brother wlel

he's got every mental illness on the planet and makes my life a living hell I get being mentally ill makes life difficult for you but YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO SEE THEM AS MORE THAN EXPLANATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR RATHER THAN A FUCKIN EXCUSE?? IM NOT EXCUSING YOU TELLING ME YOU WANT ME T

pk

okay and then

today was another friends birthday and she was so

we made a whole birthday surprise thing for her and I went to alot of effort to do it and she just I invited her boyfriend and one of her other friend and she sprent the whole time talking to them and making it awkward for everyone else and I

she was like send pictures? and it just bothered me cuz she went out of her way to make it look like she hated them and if thats so then ill just not invite her to things??? cuz wth I do like my friends and this is really fuckin inconsiderate and we had karaoke but there was an issue with the mic and she was just

being really weird about ti and I felt kinda disrespected and she really doesnt fuckin care

and im so sick of this and

its like she just tolerates them for pictures and it was weird and idk

maybe I dont like her as much as I thought and maybe im the problem cuz I really tried to make it special for her and she just

she was just not having it and I tried so hard and I wish I didnt cuz I felt so stupid for caring about mics cuz when she left the rest of us were singing nd it wasn't awkward and clean up was fun even

and the thing with happened with the friend that was curt with me earlier she just we found out a guy we knew was spreading rumors about her sexuality ( his friend group did this to me first) so I asked her about it and she said yea that guy confessed to her and she told him she didnt like him like that but also that her and my other friend fought cuz this guy was being weird and I was BUSY BABYSITITNG MY FUCKIN GROUP AT THE TIME AND WE COULDNT PROPERLY TALK ABOUT IT so I called her when I got home and she got so weird and defensive about it like I was crazy and I just

I hate when she does this and I hate that I care about her more than she cares about me

in fact I know this is toxic as fuck and caring isnt measured on scales

bUT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM

I DO

I CARE TOO FUCKIN MUCH AND I WISH I COULD STOP AND I WISH I COULD EAT MY BRAIN UP CUZ IM SO SICK OF CARING OHMYGOD I WISH I COULD JSUT END MY FUC

OH AND

IM DOING 2 MURALS RIGHT

BUT MY IPAD CRASH LEFT ONE OHUGE FUCKIN MURAL GONE FOREVER

AND I DONT HAVE THE 720CM VERSION OF IT AND I HAVENT TOLD THEM YET AND

AND I HATE MY ART AND

I am president of a club and WE GOT OUR FUCKIN BUDGET REJECTED SO IM OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR NO REASON AND IM SO SICK

I need a break

I need a break

[tailoroffates]

Hello hello! The snippets from your find the word answers were very interesting! I would love to learn a little more about that world you've got brewing. Really a free-range topic, but I know sometimes having a point to start is nice, so no need to answer all of these: Where the inspiration for this world come from? Is there an element of the world building you don't expect to make an occurrence to the reader that you are really happy with( like a problem that you solved, an interesting and unexpected interaction, etc.)? Or is there an aspect of the world building you aren't quite sure about and thinking out loud(or typing lol) may help work through? Just a few ideas but really use this as a space to really gush about your story and world!

Hmm... Thanks for asking about it! If I'm being honest I loved your snippets from the Heads up 7 up game. You have a gift for describing scenes and I found myself completely immersed in the writing, especially when the first line of dialogue popped up. I just didn't say anything because I'm new to Tumblr and not sure of the etiquette of replying/responding yet. :D

As for your questions, I'll answer them in numbers.

My true inspiration actually came from mental illness. I have Agoraphobia and though it's improved, initially there were 4 years that I was so darn anxious that I couldn't leave my house at all (not even to go out to the backyard). I dealt with that anxiety by building a world of my own that I could enjoy, which I knew the rules for. One day, my partner found my binder of chapters, race designs, kingdom descriptions/maps, creatures, and plants and they were like, "Ohmygod! You have to do something with this!" That's when I decided that I wouldn't just make a book out of it. Since then I have built the overview for a full book series and I'm also now building a TTRPG inspired by D&D. It's been quite therapeutic if I'm being honest. The existing inspirations for my lore are LoTR, and Avatar - the last Airbender.

Sort of. There's a chapter where one of my OCs is being attacked by an assassin and disarms them, so they knock him into a lake and sink with him. The assassin got a breath before the fall, my OC didn't. The OC begins drowning and a previous chat with his mentor about the most important aspects of fighting in water pops into his head. He was told that the main 3 principles he needed to pay attention to were, elemental abilities, stamina, and lung capacity. So, as the OC begins to blackout and thinks about how he could possibly survive this ordeal that chat begins repeating in his head and he gets an idea. So he begins transforming into a Lycan (werewolf) underwater and kicks off the floor of the lake, allowing himself a brief moment to surface and take a breath. Due to the fact his transformation causes him to grow a full-size class (from medium to large) his lung capacity increases and he uses the surprised gasp of the assassin as his cue to pull them back underwater, instead drowning the assassin.

Yes actually. I've been having issues naming certain aspects of one of my magic systems. It works like this: The system is called "Elemancy" and the general idea is that it allows certain races to manipulate the elements. The main forms of Elemancy used are Geomancy (earth), Hydromancy (water), Pyromancy (fire), and Aeromancy (air). The issue I'm having is once you learn all four natural Elemancy types there are several subtypes and a new tree of abilities opens up leading all the way up to the ability to manipulate cosmic energy, but I can't find a good name for metal, or cosmic. Metalmancy, ferromancy... Neither sounds good, and ferro refers to iron specifically, when the ability involves all metals. Same with Cosmomancy, or Spacialmancy. None of those hit the ear right, y'know? Any ideas?

[barely-getting-bi]

okey here we go!! it’s aggressive friend appreciation time #1/??

Star [@/aspex-t]

my friend star is amazing!! they’re so sweet- they help me through all my issues, even ones i’m afraid to tell others about although they might think their advice is bad, i couldn’t of solved most of my problems without their help and i’m so grateful for them putting up with my nonstop issues.

they’re also so so talented!! seriously their art is amazing and adorable so i’d highly recommend following them if you aren’t already! here’s some of their art (click for better quality):

look at those!! they can draw traditionally, and digitally, even in the notes app!! they’re so amazing at art even if they say they’re not, the proof is in the pictures right here!! all the concepts they draw are amazing too!! look at the royality and the logince onesie fluff!!and roman in a skirt? y e s please! and they draw their aspex, which are super cool!!

they’re also super duper funny! while they are a responsible (ish) member of The Picnic Gang™ , they can also be very very chaotic which is awesome! their input in our conversations (especially when it’s late and they’re a little ~sleep depriramen~) is usually hilarious and makes me laugh (not at them tho)!

they’re a d o r a b l e!! now obviously i can’t show y’all a picture because ~consent~ but ohmygod they are an adorable lil bean!! even tho they refuse to admit it >:|

they can always make me smile!! even just seeing them on my dash, whether i’m having a bad day or not, immediately makes me happy! my brain sees their url and goes ‘:000 it’s star!! friend!’ and i’m automatically having a better day. whenever i get a message from them i get really happy because disisjncms they want to talk to me??? (still *shook* about that)

they’re The Best Prom Date Ever!! i know they disagree but it’s true, i couldn’t possibly have asked for a better prom date- even if it was just for an online prom. honestly, im still surprised they even offered to go to tumblr prom with me- there were so many better options and they pick me?? i’m so happy they did though cause they’re amazing and the Bestest Prom Date! they’re sweet, funny, talented, adorable, and so so much more!! i don’t have enough adjectives to describe how much i love them and how much they mean to me.

starshine is such an amazing person, i know they don’t always see it but it’s so so true. i can’t wait to meet them and give them the biggest hug ever!! we’re gonna build a pillow fort and have a movie marathon! they mean so so much to me and i’m so very grateful that they’re in my life! i don’t know what i did to deserve them but it must’ve been something good because somehow they’ve decided to put up with all my weird bullshit. i love them so so much and i’m so glad that they exist and are in my life. i could definitely write bigger paragraphs but i’m pretty sure this post is already super long so i’ll end here!

star i love you so much!

[onedoors]

hii, apparently, when gifs or pics have too much yellow or reds/pinks, tumblr automatically think that is a nude/porn 💀 I would recommend that if you still have the psd, try to change the coloring a bit. this also happened to a yeri set I did (and all was performance gifs, so there were a lot of colors light for every stage) and someone told me about this issue that tumblr think that is nude, so I changed THE WHOLE set coloring, and surprise! is appeared on the tag then.

but tbh I don't know why can be that a problem with your set since to me the dominant colors look good, to tumblr think that is something indecent....

also, this can be a probably a reason, or just tumblr being a mess as always...

hope you can solve this so we can see all that pretty set :(

it's a psd i made that i used...a lot??? like not just on this set, several before and also on my kdrama blog 😭 ajdiwjei omg this has me laughing at 11 pm that Tumblr might think my designer renjun set is p*rn..... ohmygod 😂

but thank you so much for reaching out because i didn't know all these 💕💖😳 it appeared for a while for everyone now it's goneeee again. oh well I guess there's nothing much I can do right now 😔

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 146

Honorable mentions:

I swear people just love to jump out at Blyke poor guy

Remi is way too chill for someone expecting to be drop-kicked into tomorrow

Isen’s face just gets funnier and funnier as this episode goes on i swear

Is it bad that I’m kind of sad that Blyke wasn’t noticing John for his muscles..?

I just remembered that Elaine existed ohmygod lmao what’s she been up to haha. She knows about John I feel like I haven’t seen her for some time (or I’m just forgetful lol)

I love how Remi doesn’t even act surprised when she finds out that Isen knew who joker was slkddjk

I’m really mad that Remi interrupted Isen when he was saying “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” Like, girl, if Isen had been able to warn Arlo what would happen, none of you would be in this situation right now. Let Isen explain it to someone damn it. I won’t be able to take a replay of the entire plot I’ve suffered too much.

Arlo’s so done with this shit that he doesn’t even react when Remi tells him she knows who Joker is

I swear to god, i don’t know if i’ll love Arlo using Sera against John or hate it.

I’ve realized very recently that these posts have strayed a bit from being analysis posts and have really turned into me freaking out about the new episode each week and I’m sorry, I’ll try to actually share some theories and more thoughts in the future ;-;

I should also probably reread these before posting… lol I’ve probably messed up somewhere in this. Eh idc im lazy

Also, uru-chan answered questions by the instagram account @unordinary.webtoon and said that UnOrdinary is going to have at least two seasons and will end up being over 300 episode so buckle in folks this train ain’t ending anywhere soon we in this for the long haul.

Smart Blyke:

    For the first time in my UnOrdinary history (around 1 ½ years), Blyke might have become my favorite character. I know I said last week how much I was loving Arlo and John, and that’s still true, but honestly, right now, Blyke is tied with like Arlo. I used to really dislike Blyke. Not because I didn’t like his character, but because he took up time that could be focused on like John or Arlo. He was always that ‘filler’ character for me, but damn.

    I’m really happy with how this small detective Blyke bit ended. Before, Isen really overshadowed Blyke in the smarts department because, well, smarts were what Isen’s storylines revolved around. His whole relevance to the plot is from when Arlo told him to dig up dirt on John, forcing him to get creative and think. Blyke’s storyline, however, has always been about power. He wants to be stronger and become that white knight type. He wants to prove himself through ability. I think because this part of Blyke was showcased since the beginning, everyone kind of wrote him off as that valient, but dumb type.

    Hehe, I love being proven wrong.

    Like I said already, I’m so impressed with Blyke and his deductive skills. Like dude. Blyke’s instinctive theories prove that he’s so much more than first presented. “Joker… Whoever this guy is, he’s well-versed in combat and he’s been exposed to countless abilities.” Pretty normal reasoning right? But then he hits us with the “He may have hidden himself all this time, but he’s been watching and analyzing all of us.” I feel like even more so than Isen, Blyke knows what he should be worrying about. Blyke can see the bigger picture. Not only such a great leadership quality, but I’ve been having issues since forever with the characters of UnOrdinary not seeing the bigger picture. Hell, a while back, I made this whole ass post explaining why Seraphina was such an annoying character to read and see because she only seemed to notice things revolving around herself (still true, but that’s for another day). 

    Back to Blyke: He thought to himself, “I wonder how long he can retain abilities for? It isn’t permanent otherwise he would’ve started our fight off with Isen’s ability. Does he keep an ability with him at all times? What’s he like when the abilities he collects wear off?”

    These quotes were all from last week’s episode (episode 145), and I wondered whether he had actually solved it. When he reacted to John, had it all clicked. And damn how excited I was when I found out that it did.

    I guess I technically can’t be too impressed with Blyke because he did say in this week’s episode that, “It’s just a strong feeling.” But like, he backs it up with reasoning and he was right so like. Good on you Blyke lmao.

    Even though snakes are like the best characters because the drama, the captain america type (like Blyke [you know what I mean right?]) really draws me in sometimes. I really feel like I’m looking at a “what if” version of Arlo. What if Rei hadn’t messed up the hierarchy? What if Arlo hadn’t been forced into leadership after only being at school for one year? I know that this probably isn’t true because uru-chan recently said that the characters were all created based off of anime stereotypes (already stated by her, but it really fits with Blyke) and after that, they evolved into different parts of her personality, but I genuinely feel like Blyke was created to be Arlo’s parallel, if you know what I’m saying. I’m probably talking nonsense lol, I just love the idea of parallels (I’ll try to tone that down haha).

    ((afterthought: Blyke can also be stupid sometimes. like , he figured it out, but he still doesn’t know what’s he’s talking about boy let Isen talk))

Isen:

    Yessssss yes yes yes yes. God, I’ve been waiting for this since forever. Remi and Blyke finally know that he knew who Joker was (which, by the way, was something else that Blyke realized).

    I’m really excited purely for the fact that this has been set up since the beginning of the comic, when Arlo told Isen to learn stuff about John. Isen’s been a key character all along because he knows stuff. He’s the guy with all the secrets and I’m living. But the best part of a character knowing so much, is when everyone discovers exactly how much they know and the significance. I swear it’s one of my favorite tropes (? is that the right word to use?) like ever. When someone is revealed to have held the cards all along. And it’s so much more satisfying when everyone else isn’t aware at first, which is why I’m not freaking out over John. For Blyke and Remi, they’ve been with Isen since the beginning. Through every attack that John’s been involved in (when Arlo got defeated, when he freaked out because John was Blyke’s roommate, e.t.c. [I just realized that the examples I used are the exact same ones uru used in the new episode ksdjfhkshf]), Remi and Blyke have either tried to figure on what was going on or trying to figure out why Isen was acting weird. I know that was worded so badly, but I ain’t here to impress, I’m here to force my opinions on y’all.

    I probably have more opinions on this, but thinking confuses me so we’re moving on.

Theories that look bad because i can’t be bothered to properly write them out:

Remi is going to demask Joker so everyone knows who he is, solving the problem of nobody believing when they would say that John is Joker

Arlo is going to use Seraphina by dragging her ass to his and John’s fight

Both of these happen at the same time

=chaos

(please)

This is really random, but i might as well say (while I’m here) that if Claire never even makes an appearance over the course of this comic, i’m going to be actually upset.

also guys be prepared John is onto Blyke bitch did you see that death glare at the end of last episode whew

[daylightsamulet]

i watch trollhunters for the first time: season 2 episode 12

my friend @for-the-glory-of-dragons has seen this before and she’s the one that got me into trollhunters but SHES EVIL AND KEEPS TELLING ME STUFF THAT ARENT NECESSARILY TRUE ANYWAY

*theme music*

you can't hear me crying but i'm crying. literally. emotionally devastated.

first off i would like to say i make the woRST EPISODE PREDICTIONS AND VENDEL WAS THE LAST ON MY CHARACTER DEATH LIST BC WHY WOULD U KILL HIM

usurna gets the first word of the episode, and i hate her way more than before. where's the mute button when you need it? they have gaggletacks why don't they have 'shut up' potions

i love blinky so much. he's standing up to that thot ass anyone who drags usurna is my fav ok "i believe you've finally CRACKED" damnit blink u get the best lines ugh his mind

toby really is slaying this ep and everyone looks so shook YES U GO TOBES MY FAV DORK he slays every single scene he's in

toby quoting tv shows and trying to apply them to real life will forever be a MOOD

WINGMAN YES OOF djksksksk

so.... in this weird trial, trolls throw rocks to decide who speaks first.... okay..... why can't yall play rock paper scissors it solves all real world issues

gatto man ur TINY that burrito really did a number on u

not-enrique is one of the best things about this show he's so sassy dkdkkdkdk

why y'all calling him an 'it' thats RUDE

vendel is SLAYING IT THIS EP TOO LIKE he might be old but he's so metal i love it

gunmar doesn't stand a CHANCE if he's there

good-cop and bad-cop? man this is gonna go so wrong i can sense it

BLINKY STOP HOLDING THAT EXPLODING ROCK-

okay it worked

annnd there goes the rock

they were gonna lose the trial either way? really? someone needs to stop usurna SHES BIASED AS HELL SOMETHING IS UP HERE it's almost as if she's already made up her mind to get rid of jim

krax whoever u are i dont like u

why do u need that WHOLE stash of gaggletacks ur an IDIOT. try hiding it better next time like, i don't know, sending other people u know to get them for u? ur just waiting to get caught

BLINKY STOP IT EXPLODING ROCKS ARENT TOYS

annnnd krax is dead oof

YES BLINKY U GO THAT EVIDENCE NEEDS TO GET OUT

vendel has so many dad moments i love him

shit

shit

IT’S ALL GOING TO SHIT AND I AM CRYING

USURNA YOU BITCH. YOU DON'T GET TO DO THIS TO VENDEL

OHMYGOD HES DEAD

I AM IN SHOCK

someone remind me why usurna isn't dead yet

the trial is a FARCE DAMNIT

why do jim and claire have the WORST luck they keep getting separated :(

THEIR EXPRESSIONS BREAK MY HEART

man jim ur in for a ride

why u gotta show their reactions my heart is already DEAD

blinky finding vendel dead? NO. I CANT HANDLE THIS MUCH ANGST U CANT LEAVE ME ON A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THIS

[sweetlysilent]

Secrets

Requested By: @timmers18

A REQUEST COMING AT YOU::: After Harsh Words, CAN YOU PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write another story similar like this, except they always had been fighting, Spider-Man vs Villain- plot twist: they’re best friends at school. I’d stay up 3 days straight for this.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (aka Spider-Man vs Villain)

Description: Queens had been an active crime space for the past few months, Spider-Man was constantly fighting against this newbie of a villain that wouldn’t stop causing chaos, they both despised each other, or so they thought.

Warnings: Swearing, fighting

Word Count: 3,757

A/N: So, this request is kinda similar to my mini-series Web Of Lies that I’ve been writing, but I couldn’t help myself and wrote this anyways. I hope you like it a lot because I do aslkdfjsdkj.

Friendly PSA: Please do not steal my writing without my permission, or flat out steal it at all. It’s super disrespectful and 100% plagiarism. So, if you’re someone who does steal other peoples’ work, think about what you’re doing before you hit that copy button. Thank you!

“You do realize that I’m going to turn you in right?” Spider-Man leaned against the pole, watching as you sat on the edge of the building, a laugh escaping your lips.

“You’re funny Spidey.” You mused, standing up, turning around to face the masked hero.

“I’m serious, you need to be stopped, I can’t have you roaming around Queens.” He shook his head, stepping forward, watching you carefully.

“Well that’s a shame for you, because I’m not going anywhere.” You grinned through your mask, crossing your arms.

“Fine, have it your way.” He shrugged, before charging at you, webs shooting out of his wrists.

You quickly dodged them, before charging at him also, kneeing him in the face, before hitting him on the back, making him groan in pain as he fell.

You smiled behind the mask, satisfaction evident across your features, thinking you had won, turning to walk away when he grabbed your leg, giving a yank before you went slamming on the ground.

Spider-Man hovered over you, webbing your one arm to the ground, as you fought his other hand.

“E-Either you surrender now, or I have to do this the hard way!” Spider-Man grunted out, trying to push your other arm down so he could web it.

“I-I don’t crack under pressure!” You shouted through your mask, moving your leg and wrapping it around his waist, his eyes widening on his mask.

You grinned through yours, as your legs finally twisted around his waist, flipping him over as you got up, cutting your other arm free of his web.

“I’ll see you around Spidey.” You gave a salute, watching as he started to get back up.

Once he got up, he looked around for you, but you were nowhere to be seen, you had vanished, and he once again, missed his opportunity to turn you in.

“Fuck.” He muttered, running his hands over his masked head, he’d been fighting you for weeks now, and he still hadn’t caught you.

He desperately wanted to know who you were, and why you were the new villain of Queens, but he never had a chance to ask.

Peter went home after that, cleaning his fresh wounds that were starting to form from your fight with him.

He saw his phone light up, seeing it was a text from you, making him smile slightly.

From Y/N: hey nerd, did u do the chem homework? i’m stuck like usual and u normally can make me understand it, would u mind video chatting for a bit?? :)))

To Y/N: hey pipsqueak ;))) yah, i did the homework, i can help, i’ll chat u in a sex

To Y/N: I MEANT SEC OHMYGOD KLFDSAKLJD

From Y/N: damn parker, i didn’t kno u wanted to get into my pants that bad ;))))

Peter rolled his eyes, his face flushed slightly as he read your message, a grin spreading across his lips as he let out a chuckle.

He then finished covering up his bruises before video chatting you, pulling his homework out as you appeared on his computer screen.

“Well hello there Mr. I want to get into his best friends pants.” You smirked, winking at him, as he rolled his eyes playfully.

“You know that wasn’t what I meant!” He whined, but couldn’t help the smile that ghosted across his lips.

“Mhm sure Parker, you’re a teenaged boy, your hormones are going out of control.” You shrugged, looking at the chemistry homework in front of you, not noticing Peter’s flushed cheeks.

He cleared his voice, running his fingers through his curls as he tapped his pencil on his desk anxiously.

“Anyways!” He smiled, making your head snap up and look at him, waiting for him to continue.

“What were you having trouble with?” He glanced down at his completed homework, before you started explaining your issue.

You both spent the next two hours doing your chemistry homework, having Peter explain the setup and the process on how you solved it.

Once finished, you spent another hour just chatting, something you both always did whenever you video chatted.

“No way, Ghostbusters is so much better than Star Wars!” You declared, making Peter gasp and place a hand on his chest.

“You traitor! Take that back!” He demanded, unable to keep the smile off his face.

“Nope, no can do, it’s just the truth!” You smiled, folding your arms and resting your chin on your hands.

“You’ll regret making an enemy of me Mrs. Y/N.” He grinned, making you wiggle your eyebrows at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow hormones.” You bit your lip, before ending the video chat, leaving Peter grinning at his computer screen.

You really did know how to get under his skin, good or bad.

Morning arrived quickly, far too quick for your liking, your alarm blaring on your nightstand as you groaned, smacking at it to shut it off.

Thus, your day began, getting ready for school, the place you hated the most.

“Y/N, don’t forget to eat breakfast!” Your mother called from downstairs, making you sigh and yell back a ‘I know!’

You threw on an outfit, brushed your teeth and hair, put on a little bit of makeup and ran down the stairs, grabbing your breakfast to go, shouting a ‘Bye mom, see you later!’ before exiting the house.

You held your phone in your hand, your breakfast bagel in the other, taking a bite and scrolling through your social media, a certain topic catching your eye.

Queens Latest News: Last night the villain of Queens struck again, sources say they saw the masked villain go in and out of banks, and then eventually go off to cause more chaos.

You were so intently staring at your phone you didn’t even have time to react to the person in front of you, bumping into them.

“Ah! Shit sorry!” You apologized, steadying yourself as did the person in front of you.

“No worries.” They replied, making you smile sheepishly, you really needed to pay attention to where you were walking.

After deciding walking and reading wasn’t the smartest option, you made it onto the subway, taking the train all the way to your school.

You also decided to take this time to eat your bagel, which was very good by the way, your mom always got the chocolate chip ones.

Once you heard your stop, you got up and off the train, your phone returning to your hand as you started to scroll through the article once again, as you periodically glanced up to make sure you didn’t ram into anyone again.

Queens Latest News: Another source says they saw the famous neighborhood super hero Spider-Man around Queens last night, they claimed they saw the hero and villain fighting, but ran off when they saw the villain get away.

You couldn’t help but smirk at the last sentence, of course you got away, you weren’t an amateur after all.

 You continued to read the rest of the article, walking into the school and immediately going to your locker, your phone still glued to your hand.

Queens Latest News: Everyone wants to know why this villain is in Queens and when their next strike will be, but the main question is, who are they when they aren’t this villain of the night? Could it be you reading this right now? I guess we’ll never know.

You bit your lip, reading the last sentence once again, they weren’t wrong, you were reading their article, and the villain of Queens is you.

How ironic isn’t it?

You set your phone down, grabbing a few books and your chemistry homework, you were not going to forget that.

“Hey Y/N!” Ned and Peter greeted you, smiles on their faces as they approached your locker.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” You smiled, putting the few books into your backpack, before grabbing your homework and phone, shutting your locker.

“Not much, I just found out we have a chem test today..” Peter rolled his eyes, as you stared at him in disbelief.

“You have GOT to be kidding me! I suck at chem so bad, I’m doomed, I’m one hundred percent doomed!” You exaggerated, your hands flying up into the air, which was such a stupid idea, once you saw your phone fly onto the floor.

You shrieked, shutting your eyes tightly, not wanting to see if it was cracked or not.

“What’s the damage Parker?” You questioned, your eyes still shut, waiting to hear your fate.

“It’s all good, no cracks, you’re a lucky duck.” Peter shook his head, a smirk playing on his lips as you let out a breath of air you didn’t know you had been holding in.

Peter handed you back your phone, which you thanked him for, before putting it in your pocket, keeping it safe this time.

“I couldn’t help but notice what you were reading.” Peter spoke up as you all were wandering to your class.

“What about it?” You glanced over at him, his expression staying straight ahead, as Ned glanced over at him too.

“Do you believe it?” He questioned, making you raise an eyebrow, signaling you didn’t understand.

“I mean, do you believe Spider-Man is a hero? He’s doing his best to protect Queens but this new villain of the night just makes it more difficult to do that.” Peter explained, making you shrug nervously, since when did Peter care so much about Spider-Man?

“I don’t know, I didn’t know you cared so much, I learn something new about you everyday Parker.” You winked, making him shake his head and chuckle at you, knowing what you were referring to.

You all then walked into class, where your Chemistry teacher eagerly awaited, ready to give you all a test and watch you all fail miserably, except Peter most likely.

You did, in fact, know a few questions, but overall, you knew you failed, unlike Peter however, he walked out, a smile on his face.

“That was so easy, I bet I got an A.” He bragged, as you hit his arm slightly, a frown on your face.

“Not everyone can be a genius!” You whined, a fake hurt look on your face, while Ned laughed.

The day continued on, you and Peter teasing each other all day as Ned and Michelle told you to get a room, which you then decided to tell the story of last nights video chat.

“Y/N, no please.” Peter begged, his cheeks reddening as he saw your mischievous smile on your lips.

 "Oh, hell yes Parker, you’re getting exposed.“ You grinned, before telling them the story, Peter’s face flushed red with embarrassment.

There were certain times where he’d wish he was confident enough to just drag you away and make you quiet in ’other ways’ but he wasn’t Spider-Man, he was Peter Parker, the guy with no confidence.

“Damn Peter, you must really like her if you want to get in her pants that bad.” Michelle teased, making Peter groan and hit his head against the table.

“I don’t blame Peter, you are attractive Y/N, that’s just a fact.” Ned shrugged, making you smile, a blush rising onto your cheeks.

These dumbasses.

School finally ended which was a relief for you, you weren’t sure if you could handle anymore hours in this prison of a school.

“Are you guys still coming over later?” Peter questioned both you, but his eyes lingered on yours more than Neds.

“Of course, it’s movie night!” Ned chimed in, his face bright with excitement as you stood there, gathering your books once again.

“I might have to cancel..” You mumbled, avoiding their shocked expressions, you’d never canceled on them before.

“B-But Y/N, this is a tradition!” Ned shrieked, making you sigh and nod in agreement.

“I-I know, it’s just.. I’ve been busy..” You shrugged, playing with the hem of your sleeve, a nervous habit you did, which also didn’t go unnoticed by Peter.

“Alright well.. Just let us know alright?” Peter smiled slightly as you nodded, giving them both a small wave before leaving the school, Peter’s eyes not once leaving you until you rounded the corner.

“Peter you alright buddy?” Ned waved his hand in front of Ned’s face, making Peter blink a few times.

“Y-Yeah I’m good.” He muttered, his mind racing with questions, before walking home with Ned.

You felt bad ditching the traditional movie night, but what you read in the article and from what Peter said about Spider-Man just pissed you off.

You weren’t someone to be messed with, at least your alter ego wasn’t, which is why you were currently putting on your suit and mask, before entering out into the darkness of the night.

You decided to go with the more, ’fun’ route this time, cans of spray paint in your hands as you sprayed the brick wall, creating your mask to let people know it was you.

You opened the other can of spray paint, until you heard a voice clear from behind you.

“This is unusual for you.” The voice spoke, making you roll your eyes from underneath your mask.

“I’m just having fun is all.” You shrugged, spraying the blue color onto the bricks, not caring if the hero was behind you.

Next thing you knew it was flung out of your hand, a annoyed sigh escaping your lips.

“Really? I am trying to create something here.” You huffed, turning around to face the masked hero once again.

“And I’m trying to protect Queens, but here you are making my job difficult.” He crossed his arms, setting the spray paint on the ground.

“You don’t think what I’m doing is to protect people too?” You raised an eyebrow through your mask, crossing your arms back at him.

“You’re joking right? You’re a villain you don’t protect people, you hurt and kill them.” Spider-Man growled out, making your blood boil.

Who the fuck did he think he was?

You nodded slowly, before kicking him in the shin, making him groan, as he watched you sprint off.

“I don’t think so, not today!” He shouted, running after you, trying to web you while running, but you did your best to doge them.

You then jumped onto a building, climbing up the side of it, yes, you too, had powers somewhat like Spider-mans.

You flipped over onto the roof of the building, hiding behind an air vent as he got onto the roof as well.

“You can’t hide from me you know! I will find you!” He shouted, as you tried to regulate your breathing.

You had planned on not fighting tonight, that you would just spray paint a few things on the bricks of some buildings and then go to Peter’s to watch a movie with him and Ned, but instead, here you are, on some random roof, about to fight your enemy once again.

“Come out and fight me!” He shouted once again, as you slowly appeared out from behind the air duct.

“Look, I’m in no mood to fight, in fact, I need to be somewhere right now, so we can resume this later okay?” You leaned against the air duct, your arms crossed as you watched the hero intently.

Spider-Man laughed, his head shaking as he took a few steps toward you.

“How stupid do you think I am? I’ve been trying to for weeks to catch you and turn you in, and now that I have another chance, I’m sure as hell going to try to.” He growled out, making you sigh in frustration.

Next thing you knew, webs were on your legs, pulling you down to the ground as he dragged you towards him.

“Just cooperate with me and this will go so much easier!” Spider-Man grunted, as you twisted and turned, cutting your legs free.

This bitch.

“Okay, now you really pissed me the fuck off.” You growled out, as he tried to web your hands, you did something that shocked him, you caught his web, a smirk appearing through your mask.

You yanked him forward, before slamming your fist into his face, hard, making him stumble backwards, but you weren’t done yet, you pulled him back up with his own web, before hitting him once more, and kneeing him in the stomach.

“Next time, when I give you a chance to leave, you take it.” You spat out, watching him hold his chest, groans escaping his mouth.

You were now walking away, but felt his hand on your ankle, pulling you down on the ground with him.

“And I told you,” He panted, grabbing your one wrist, “That this is my chance to turn you in, and there is no way in hell I’m letting you get away again.” He grunted, hitting you a few times, making you even angrier.

This was one of the most intense fights you’ve had with the neighborhood hero, but at least you knew he wasn’t just some joke.

You looked up at him through your mask, his own staring back down at you, his breathing heavy as was yours.

“There’s a reason why you never officially catch me.” You groaned out, grabbing his other wrist, pushing it backwards to make him loose balance, which he did and fell.

You then took this as your opportunity to flip him over, you now hovering over him, his eyes wide on his mask.

You panted slightly, trying to get some air back into your lungs, before a smirk made its way back onto your mask.

“You want to tell me why?” He spat out, making you laugh slightly, as he squirmed underneath you.

“As much as you want to turn me in, you don’t because I’m the only one in Queens giving you a run for your money, and you find it exhilarating to have someone to fight, therefore, you let me go, whether you want to believe it or not, you like having me here.” You grinned, making Spider-Man freeze, you took this as your time to get up, before disappearing off the roof.

Peter slowly got up, your words replaying in his head, trying to figure out if you were right or not.

Why did he always seem to let you get away?

What was it about you that seemed so familiar?

He quickly rushed back home, his face bruising already, as was yours, but you did your best to cover it up, before going over to Peter’s.

You knocked on the door, May opening it with a smile on her face as he let you in, you walking to Peter’s room.

“Hey guys, it’s me sorry I’m late.” You apologized, walking in to see Peter and Ned watching Star Wars.

“We’re watching your favorite movie Y/N!” Ned smirked, making you roll your eyes as you sat down next to Peter.

You gave him a soft smile, which he returned back with one, before focusing on the movie.

However, your mind was racing with a million questions, as was Peter’s.

Why did you both have fresh bruises you were covering up?

[lissadiane]

Okay, here’s a personal post that isn’t about a funny thing my boyfriend said or did, or a ridiculous photo of my cat, but I have to write it somewhere, and here is a good place for it.

So, I’m engaged (I know, what?). And this weekend I went wedding dress shopping.

This is a big deal, because I have Issues. Like, a mixed bag of anxiety, disordered eating, body issues, self hatred, a history of self harm (but I don’t do that anymore!) and self defense mechanisms largely built on self depreciating sarcasm. 

And I have lost count of the number of panic attacks I’ve had in dressing rooms.

So anyway, wedding dress shopping. I didn’t even realize how painless and fun it was until my best friend said afterward, “You didn’t have an anxiety-driven meltdown, I was impressed.” And yeah, it’s true.

And it’s not that I looked amazing in every dress they put me in. Some made my hips look like boxes, some made my boobs look like hot air balloons, some made me look short and round, some made me look like a cupcake. I got stuck in one and all I did was LAUGH and wiggle and call for help.

And when those things happened -- while wiggling myself free or struggling with a dress that was too small or staring at myself in a half a dozen mirrors in a monstrosity of a dress that did nothing for me -- I didn’t focus on all the ways my body was broken or wrong or disgusting or needed to be fixed. Instead, I focused on the ways the dress just... didn’t work for my body. 

“This dress is not meant for bodies like mine,” I would say, instead of “My body is not meant for dresses like this.”

And there were a handful of dresses that made me feel like a goddamned princess. It was a big deal. I never thought girls like me could be princesses.

And there was one dress that I put on and it was just mine -- it was made for me. (And yeah, it costs more than it was supposed to and it made me swear a lot because OF COURSE).

And when my friend mentioned the lack of crying and anxiety, the lack of frustration, the lack of panic attacks, that’s when I realized that the reason I was OKAY, that I didn’t revert to fantasizing about all the gross pieces of myself that I needed to cut off if I wanted to be beautiful (and still did that kind of thing), was because of the body positive posts I’ve seen here and other places.

While reading all of those posts and articles about loving our bodies no matter the size or the shape, I would always feel impressed by the women who could love themselves the way they are, without focusing on the way they should be instead, but I always followed it up with a caveat that body positivity wouldn’t work for ME, because it was impossible for me to ever accept myself the way I am, impossible for me to ever feel like I am enough, like my body isn’t a problem to be solved.

But this weekend, while trying on dozens of fluffy, ridiculous wedding dresses, I never thought “This would look perfect on me if only my hips/butt/boobs were smaller.” 

In fact, the only anxiety I’ve got about the entire thing was a low-grade awareness of the fact that the dress I bought (which ohmygod is the most beautiful dress) won’t fit me half as well if I lose weight.

So, that’s what this is. A thank you post, to the body positive movement, for helping me stand on a pedestal in front of the people I love best, in ill-fitting, hilarious dresses, and laughing instead of crying.

Thank you.

[morkaischosen]

Sage and Joan Gardener

Some More CMWGE Characters

The original idea here came from Wounded Angel, and the idea of doing mirror-image versions of the same character, where each was the other’s sealed-away Blasphemy monster form. Then I decided the version that’s slightly truer to the Nobilis half of the inspiration was better. I’m pretty sure wanting to use Prophet wasn’t even the main reason for that!

(Sage is, as you will likely notice, using standard-issue Fallen Angel arcs, while Joan is on the canonical Angel arcset, yes shut up Prophet is definitely an Angel arc and you can’t convince me otherwise.)

Sage Gardener, the Friend to All Weeds, is a foundling of mysterious parentage. He was raised by the Kichi family, whose sacred pools long ago prophesied his arrival; sealed away within him, the prophecy says, is an apocalypse of fire and brimstone that will bring ruin and destruction to the world. The only way to avert this doom is for him to live a peaceful, compassionate life; if he gives in to anger, the terrible forces he contains will escape into the world.

If anyone can raise him and keep him safe from that fate, it’s Fortitude’s shrine families - but adolescence will test even their tranquility.

Sage is a small, slight boy with a shaved head and a smile that ranges from calm to cheeky, depending on his mood - he almost never frowns. He has a kind word for absolutely everyone he meets; in Fortitude that’s not particularly surprising, but he shows the same polite respect to rampaging abominations of science, monsters, and even door-to-door salespeople.

The grass stains on his knees and the scratches on his hands somehow entirely fail to make him look messy - they seem as much a part of him as his clothes and skin.

Sage is one of those people who can have a conversation about anything someone finds interesting, but his personal passion is botany. He tends a small wildflower meadow not far from the Kichi shrine, full of plants most of his neighbours think of as weeds - Sage maintains that everyone else not wanting them in their gardens just means it’s even more important to make space for them here, and sometimes even transplants weeds to make sure they have somewhere to grow. He’s so used to the thorns, thistles and stings that he sometimes forgets to warn people, which can be a problem when he invites people to sit with him in the garden - it’s not that they don’t hurt him, it’s just part of life.

His unshakeable calm is starting to shake as puberty makes itself known, though. He’s starting to find his mood swinging more than he’s used to, particularly when people are judgemental towards those they don’t understand - he can’t stand that kind of behaviour, but it’s so much easier to be angry about it than anything else. He’s managed to keep it under control for now - despite a few forlorn patches of fresh ash in his garden - but he’s scared of what could happen if he’s not as good at that as his (consistently supportive) foster-parents and teachers think, and too worried about upsetting them to bring it up.

Sage Gardener, the Friend to All Weeds

Superior Holiness 2 (but Sage��s Holiness is entirely unsuited to scourging anything - he can heal people, inspire them, and calm wild animals with a word, but ghosts and monsters can tolerate his presence just fine.) Kindness 2 Meditation 1 Botany 3

If Joan also exists, Sage should have a Connection 1 to her, even if they’ve never met.

Wounded Angel 2:

Dramatic: Sage tends to turn up when people really need someone to talk to - as often for “ohmygod I just read this book and it’s AMAZING” as anything else.

Devices: herbal infusions and incenses with mystical properties, efficaciously channeling his Holiness.

Blasphemy: when Sage loses his last Divine Health Level, he flowers into a terrible mandala of fire, wings, and lidless eyes that scourges away all spiritually impure things - and most things are spiritually impure.

Empowered Wounds: handles everything from holy powers of peace and love through the corrupt powers of a malevolent spirit possessing him (because malevolent possessing spirits deserve somewhere to live!) to manifestations of the terrible doom of scourging flame he could become.

Creature of the Light 1:

Tireless: Sage has access to Miraculous Will while showing compassion and acceptance to the things others reject.

Well-Lit: Sage is a blessed and holy being, and the world shows him to the best of its ability.

The Auctoritas Magister

Appear: Plants often turn out to have been Sage (or have had a Sage sleeping underneath them) when he needs to be where they are.

Transfix: Sage’s calm motions hold people’s attention, bringing peace to the world.

Possible starting Empowered Wounds include nettle stings that mark him as a friend to weeds, allowing him to manipulate plant life and giving an Affliction of “My skin stings like a nettle,” as well as barely-controlled mood swings allowing him to summon fire, with some appropriate Affliction.

Perks: Affliction: “When I give in to anger, things burn.” (Tied to Wounded Angel - currently 2)

“It’s like a home to me” - Sage’s wildflower meadow gives a +1 Tool bonus to feeling at peace.

XP Emotion: Believing In You XP or D’awww XP are the two I’d be likely to hit.

Joan Gardener, the Foe to All Weeds, is a foundling orphan. Her adoptive family are a quiet Fortitude couple who’d already been looking to adopt when she was found, a baby, on their doorstep with a cryptic note explaining that young Joan Gardener needed a home. As she grew older, it started to become clear that she might not be an entirely normal child - nothing that would be that obvious on its own, but the coincidences are piling up.

Joan is a stocky girl with shoulder-length mousy hair, often tied up in a slightly messy ponytail. She spends a lot of time frowning, either in concentration or because someone’s said something she disagrees with - she’s a wilful sort, and her teachers very rapidly learned that it’s difficult to satisfy her with a partial explanation. She’s willing to back down if you can actually convince her she was wrong, but doing that isn’t easy.

She’s fond of most forms of art - a beautiful painting or a well-performed song always replaces her trademark frown of concentration with a surprisingly sweet smile - but she decided at an early age that her true love is gardening. As always, she committed, and every day when her lessons are done, she armours herself in her apron and her gloves, belts on her secateurs and the weed-killing blowtorch nobody will admit to having let a child get hold of, and sets forth to earn some pocket money. Her campaign against weeds is legendary - she fights them with zealous efficiency, often insisting on staying out late if the root system is more extensive than expected.

She’s often frustrated by grown-ups not believing her, especially when she can’t explain why she needs to do something; as puberty starts to make itself known, her parents are finding themselves at odds with her more often. She’s a good kid and she doesn’t like being disobedient, but more and more often, the alternative seems just as bad. It’s frustrating and confusing for everyone, but as ever the idea of backing down is far from her thoughts.

Joan Gardener, the Foe to All Weeds

Superior Holiness 2 (but Joan’s holiness is harsh-edged - she can inspire people, cure infections or drive back a ghost with a word, but when it comes to encouraging growth she’s better off using good compost and the right fertiliser.) Confidence 2 Making an Effort 1 Gardening 3 Flying 0 (she can jump about as effectively as a normal child who jumps a fairly normal amount but has no particular investment in this mode of transportation).

If Sage exists, Joan should have Connection 1 to him, even if they’ve never met.

Prophet 2:

Joan is the Prophet of Pruning, the cosmic principle of carefully cutting away imperfect or unwanted things to allow space for beauty to grow. It’s most deeply tied to gardening, but it can also be found in surgery and the like. Her enemies include Sage (whose message of acceptance refuses to allow the destructive side of pruning); other foes might be an industrial interest representing Productivity - where Pruning cuts away some stems of the bush to promote more flowers to grow, Productivity uproots the whole bush so it can build a factory.

Divine Guidance: Joan can allow the cosmic weight of Pruning to guide her towards what needs to be removed. If she sustains this for a whole chapter, some broader-scale beauty is given space to flower into the world.

Materialization of Possibility: Joan can call on Pruning to solve an immediate problem - coincidence and chance conspire to cut through the Gordian knot, or doubts and confusion are removed to make a chaotic mess suddenly simple and clear. Pruning is reductive - it’s well suited to removing obstacles and bringing clarity, but less adept at creating new things.

Inspiration: When performing the work of Pruning, Joan can escape the bonds of gravity to find the best angle to work from, using the Flight of Pruning; and her actions take on divine force, cutting through obstruction and indecision and removing her audience’s doubts when she moves and speaks with the Confidence of Pruning.

Vestments: Joan has a weed-killing blowtorch of flame. Nobody’s quite sure who let a 12-year-old girl get her hands on something that dangerous, but it’s definitely hers and taking it off her seems like a bad idea. The “of flame” seems a bit redundant, but omitting it feels like abbreviating the thing’s proper name. With this mighty weapon, Joan can burn weeds and purify away all manner of malign presences.

Hallow: given a few minutes to work, Joan can prepare a place for Pruning. This enshrines the region property that “Impure and unwanted things can be cut away to give beauty space to grow.”

Illumination: It can be hard to cut away the things that hold you back; when Joan listens to people’s struggles with what it means to give themselves the space to grow, it can be Foreshadowing or Sympathetic Action.

Keeper of Gardens 1:

The World, Like Clay: Joan Gardener is a gardener and Keeper of Gardens, and thus can garden her gardens with her Gardening skill. But, like, more than normal gardeners can.

Toxic: Joan has a Bond 2: “I make everything simple and straightforward.” Her confidence is infectious.

Land-Rule: The rules allow shifting some points into Superior Land-Rule, but I feel like the things of Joan’s gardens likely respond to Confidence and Holiness well enough that it’s not necessary.

The Great Magic: By wounding a Divine Health Level, Joan can shape the way her gardens grow, allowing them to develop into ever more beautiful forms.

Guide: Talking flowerbeds and sentient water features are possible, but - unsurprisingly - Joan’s most common Guides are created as topiary.

Perks: “It’s like a home to me” - Joan’s parents have let her take over the gardening at home, and the results are elegantly beautiful. (Both Prophet and Keeper of Gardens will allow her to claim more gardens in future).

The other perk slot is flexible if you have a good idea; if not, a second Bond: “I must eradicate weeds wherever they may be found!” should lead to Fun.

XP Emotion: Believing In You XP or Fist-Pump XP?

(If you’re running a martial arts version of CMWGE where everything is inexplicably bound up in martial arts tournaments, Sage is a student of baguazhang, true to his Airbender inspiration; Joan insists that European longsword styles are entirely valid martial arts and shows up in full armour.)

[tanz-anite]

OK IM GONNA TALK IN DEPTH BOUT THE EPISODES AFTER A DAY AND MUCH THOUGHT

If you guys haven’t watched them yet just scroll past my mind rambles I’m on mobile rn so I’ll try and get on a computer and put up a spoiler when I can- that and my mind ramble is not for Steven so if you’re not into that turn away

Ok so- I want to punt Steven into the sky like Jasper did.

Ok but hear me out.

We’re all seeing that Steven is going through some major emotional/mental stress, even more so since it’s seemingly self-imposed responsibility, etc.

With every gem that was damaged by the Corrupted Light, the war, Diamond Authority, Pink/Rose (mostly) Steven makes it his priority to help them assimilate on Earth and be as happy as possible- and that’s really good... but he at times makes it his own problems to solve and ignores his own grown problems.

This couple with those affected by Pink/Rose directly just piles on the PTSD he has at this point, causing him to lash out on others and have fits. Which is completely fair, he’s stressed. But it’s not fair for the people around him. They’re not given a proper explanation or proper apology for his outbursts, they just keep rolling with it and accept it for the most part.

Legit just because you have your angry outbursts or hurt someone’s feelings, etc. because of stress or any mental/emotional problem- it doesn’t mean you don’t owe the people who were affected by it an apology or at the very least an explanation as to why you lost your cool. You still did that.

And Steven is a hormonal teenage boy running around with Diamond powers and all these underlying issues so his fits won’t ‘might’ but CAN hurt someone.

Oh boy- Steven literally not telling anyone how his feeling- being absolutely bullheaded stubborn in driving himself into a deep ditch- he has literally SURROUNDED by a support group who are MORE than willing to be there for him and listen to his insecurities and worries but he would rather bottle it all up in his chest until he dies

The Connie and Steven episode... the proposal one and the one leading right after-

WHEW BOI

The song- tho cute- made me a bit uncomfortable

It was a big yikes because Steven needs to get his faculties in order and Connie sees and knows this and let’s him down

As one with their faculties in order does.

And the episode following that along with Steven’s reaction just left a sour taste in my mouth

Steven: you (Connie) didn’t tell your mom?! (About the proposal)

Of course Connie didn’t tell her mom about the proposal how do you think she would react to her teenage daughter being proposed to by another teenager?

This is the kind of stuff teenagers hide from their parents all the time- to avoid the explosion of ‘wth’, confusion and concern a parent would have. I should know, my mom was like Connie’s mom and I had to deal with guys like that irl

I worry for the boy yes but I want to see him get the help he needs not be driven further down into a ditch because the crewniverse wants to add more fuel to the fire

Give me an episode of Steven ACTUALLY getting the help he needs and talking to either the gems, his dad, Connie and getting solid good advice or even getting turned to more professional help and you won’t hear a peep out of me

SPEAKING OF ADVICE

OhmyGOSH I love Jasper I really do but ohmygod- that was practically the worst advice you can give to someone dealing with so much and having no idea how to handle with all the stress and anger they feel

Have too much anger?

Just wreck shit

And look where that leads you?

Fucking murdered someone

Off screen, but blatantly showing what could be considered the ‘corpse’ of the person.

Telling the person, a person with DIAMOND POWERS, not to hold back at all- is basically asking to be crushed into stardust

Jasper I love you but ohmygod

Training is one thing. Learning to control your powers, redirecting your anger to something else- like meditation, working out, letting off steam- that’s all one thing

The rematch and her pushing Steven too far is something else because of course he would snap

That and the whole ‘gems can’t come back from shattering’ and shattering basically meaning death for gems is now complete bullshit because of course they would write an out for the plot and Steven and let him resurrect Jasper from her shattered pieces

But that’s nothing compared to what I felt towards Steven with how he treated Greg.

Mr. Universe was an episode that I needed- at first- because I love Greg centric episodes, he’s good dad, and we always get to learn more about his life before Steven and essentially Steven learns more about his human side

It started all so sweet and wholesome with Father/Son bonding and even got personal with Greg’s childhood and how he basically opens up to his son fully. It’s implied that Greg lived in a household where he just couldn’t be himself and may have even went through domestic abuse, and Greg went out to find his own freedom and left behind that house- and essentially tells Steven that he wanted him to have the freedom that he didn’t when he was growing up

And Steven reacted the way he did- just- getting annoyed by Greg and comparing him to Pink/Rose, running away from his problems.

I mean of course he’s gonna run away from his problems- he’s a human being that wants to his life

You can’t compare his ‘wrongdoings’ to Pink/Rose’s cause when she ran away a whole war and thousands of gems died because of it- the cause and effect of Greg’s actions CANNOT come close to that screwup don’t even try- you are making a mountain out of an anthill

Steven: I grew up/live in a van!

Greg lived in the van goddammit you were like close to grade school age when they were still building the house and most likely moved into it as a middle schooler- you’re still technically a high schooler to continue ‘growing up’ in the house

And don’t @ me saying he looked younger than grade school, we’ve been given canon info that Steven doesn’t age like normal humans does and might actually physically age slower so hush

Steven where did all of your sympathy go- you have sympathy for random gems that were swept up in the war that you had NO hand in whatsoever and gems that were abused by your mother, not you-

But for your father- you react this way- when he just revealed to you something so personal about his life

I just- mmmm.... that actually made me more upset than what he did to Jasper.

Because Steven did have the freedom that Greg didn’t have as a child- Steven got to enjoy a childhood where he was free do whatever he wanted. He got to live in a house by the beach, with a family that lets him grow into his person (for the most part), gets to go on wild adventures that kids his age could only DREAM of, have powers and just have a generally happy life- and he just has the gall to snap on his father

Idk if they’re trying to paint Greg as a bad parent- or if theyre just trying to generalize that all Steven’s parental figures are horrible but this just punched me in the gut

My parents, my mother in particular, had a rough childhood and made sure that they’re children could live the childhood and be in the kind of household they didn’t get to have- that’s what I’ve come to see what makes a good parent: giving their children a better environment than they grew up in

Greg is not a great parent, but from his upbringing, and what he wanted for Steven- he’s a good parent, he does his very best to support his son despite his wild concern for him and his adventures and wants to be more a part of his life

And just this. This episode just gives me a slap to the face for just wanting soft wholesome family stuff...

So yea I’m going to go back on my SUF fasting until they throw Steven into therapy, put him in a more stable mind space and make him do a round of apologies to everyone that is actually owed one

Past me: let’s catch up on SUF :)

Past me: wonder what’s new with the show...

[foryouthegays]

can LYING be good? speech (and some more cLbg stuff)

“what you don’t know can't hurt you” -deceit

“falsehood.

“Knowledge is an incomparably valuable multi-purpose tool that is instrumental in identifying and solving any problem.  If you're worried about getting hurt, then seek knowledge. It is our greatest weapon... and our greatest defense.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2d4oti_eBo

Yes, I was rewatching Can LYING be good? because it is, in my opinion, the best of the sander sides videos. Looking back, it’s incredible how many times ‘Patton’ is obviously not the real Patton, and everything looks incredible. Because I have nothing to do, I’m gonna look back and find as many places as I can.

(patton as deceit is gonna be called Patceit because why not)

0:25 when Patceit pops up instead of rising up

0:49 “i’m silly like that” I don’t think Patton has ever said something like that, and the laugh is so fake. Also, Patceit’s voice is lower than Pattons.

1:09: the sarcasm, and Patton never talks to Logan like that

1:14 virgil’s eyebrow raise. he know’s something is up, and I n e e d to know the deceit virgil backstory bc that would be awesome

1:44 you forgot? that face when he makes it, it’s more hidden amusement than concern

3:14 not Patceit, but Virgil talks about lying like he’s had some very, very bad experiences with them. 

3:34 I’m gonna talk about Virgil and Padceit’s interaction as a whole here. Virgil looks reluctant to ask ‘Patton’ about this, something that isn’t very common. Patceit is calling on old philosophers, something that isn’t very often, and he even impresses Logan. When Thomas does the whole ‘Woah! Gn everybody!’, instead of laughing along, Padceit seems to get a bit angry or annoyed at him. Logan looks a bit confused at this. 

 4:45 ‘impressed isn’t the word i’d use’ Virgil is sensing something different. also, throughout the whole video, all of the sides (and Thomas) are acting a bit...different. Roman is more dramatic, Logan is a bit jealous, and Virgil is quieter and not as open as he had been before. Maybe that’s Deceits power(?) to make others insecure? I mean, when Roman (the one who is supposed to be dramatic) feels insecure, wouldn’t it be natural for him to try harder? At 5:01, he specifically states that being dramatic is his job. That could be him attempting to remind everyone that I’m here, don't forget me  And Logan, when he feels insecure, wouldn’t he feel a bit jealous of people who are acting smart? 5:20, he also reminds people that Hey, I know things too. And of course Virgil, when he feels insecure, he closes in on himself. 

4:49 Has Patton ever done the ‘ok’ sign like that? or at all?

5:12 friendo. enough said. 

6:20 this one isn't as bad, but the real Patton would most likely say a pun or be more excited about this.

6:39 Unrelated, but ohmygoD I love the transitions between Joan and Roman/Thomas! they look so smooth and ahh how long did that take??

7:30 trying to convince the others that Patceit is Patton by referencing cartoons,  and pointing it out

7:43 that yay,,,,not very Patton-y, now is it?

8:43 Patton is excited and supportive of everything. this face he makes is not very patton, it shows that Patceit is bored, wants to leave, and isn’t satisfied with the whole situation he’s in. 

9:11 again, not related but this is a beautiful scene/face

beautiful. 

9:53 Sarcasm is not a Patton scene.

10:19 I feel like Patton would be the one to bring this up, not Roman. 

11:16 lazy and gaY?? same wow..well...bi but still XD

This entire scene with the boss and all that....Patceit doesn’t have any excited emotions, and his face looks like it’s trying to hard to be happy. god Thomas is a good actor....i really do forget they’re all played by the same person...

12:33 Virgil being suspicious again... for not being the ‘smart’ side, he sure knows when people aren’t acting right. Of course, he does have a history with Deceit. (according to me)

12:46 amused, smirking Patceit

that is not my child you monstER BRING PATTON BACK

14:20 this is probably the most convincing Patton Patciet has done so far, I mean, the enthusiasm is very Patton, but he really sounds like Roman here. 

15:06 BRING BACK PATTON YOU MONSTER PATTON WOULD NEVER DO THAT HNGGG

hnggg

A bit after that: Patton would also be a bit sad by this one, Deceit you really need to step up your game...also Thomas is right,....Joans pouty face is hnggg how could you dare lie to them hnggg also Joans eyes are awesome wow

ok back to the actual thing

16:23 that end scene, Patceit had n o expression and looked bored.

17:13 Patceit is trying to push(? whats the word?) BRIBE YEAH. Patceit is trying to bribe Thomas to lie to Joan

17:25 again, bribing and just not acting like Patton in general.

17:49 virgil makes this is the exact same face as when it’s revealed that Patceit is deceit...here, I’ll show some pics. 

First: at 17:49

then, at 19:43

no, those are not the same picture. in the second one, Virgil has a more active glare, because he knows for sure that this is Deceit, and he’s more comfortable with glaring at Deceit. 

18:03 Virgil definitely knows this is Deceit. In my opinion, Virgil is closest with Patton (then Logan then Roman even though I ship prinxiety) so he would never talk to Patton like this. Sure, sometimes he gets a bit annoyed, but never directly glaring and telling him to shut up.

18:09 I think this is Virgil telling Logan (and kind of Roman) that he knows this isn’t Patton. I mean, right after, the camera goes to Roman who looks like he’s thinking

and Logan, who looks like he just figured it out

18:12 this is the point where Patceit is really getting desperate. this is also shown a few seconds later, at 18:18, where he contradicts himself to get the point across.

18:23 thomas realizes something is wrong, that ‘y e s’ is not Patton at all

18:25 this entire speech is Thomas telling his sides that he knows as well, Patton isn't patton, and accepting that he has to tell Joan the truth.

18:56 now this, this is where Patceit drops the act and only uses a mask because why not. He became his true self and, although Thomas realized a little bit ago that this isn't patton, he really truly know that this wasn't right

19:03 virgil proving he knew, along with Logan.

I think it’s cool how Virgil figured it out before Logan. Although Logan is the smart side, Virgil knew how his friends would act and could tell that something was wrong. 

19:13 Roman probably suspected but never completely knew. 

10:30 WHAT IS THIS MUSIC I LOVE IT WHERE CAN I FIND IT HNGGG

19:40 Logan screams ‘DECEIT’ just like he screams ‘FALSEHOOD’ in a few other videos. does he say falsehood as a way to call Deceit out, without getting blocked?

19:41 lets just take a moment to appreciate this character design. Everything about it is just so beautiful. 

according to https://tympanus.net/codrops/2012/04/03/color-and-emotion-what-does-each-hue-mean/ black is power, elegance, and mystery. this seems to fit Deceit pretty well. Yellow is obviously happiness. 

Most of the outfit is black, showing mystery. The yellow gloves, to me, show that Deceit is able to fake happiness by covering somethings up.

according to https://99designs.com/blog/tips/color-meanings/ Yellow can also mean caution, which really ties Patton and Deceit together, in the way that they are both represented by a color (even if it isn’t shown in both of their designs, just their attitudes)

Of course, the whole snake scale thing is pretty obvious, with snakes being seen as manipulative according to the Christian bible. 

However, snakes have different meanings. In greek mythology, Snakes are rebirth and healing. Deceit also symbolizes a new side, maybe? I mean, he is a new side, but he opens the door for new sideS. 

In Chinese mythology, snakes are mysterious. that fits in pretty well with Deceit. 

according to http://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Eyes yellow eyes basically mean that everything is revolving around one issue. Again, that site the Deceit bill pretty well, from what we’ve seen. Everything about him is about lying and trying  to trick people. 

19:58 THEY HAVE HISTORY AND NO ONE WILL EVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE AHHH

alright, that’s where I’m gonna leave this off. this is pretty much un-edited so yeah have fun with that.

@thatsthat24 

[handsingsweapon]

better late than never

@bowldeepfannish gave me this prompt forever ago: "Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto" and i’ve sat on it for an age and what we have is a crackfest inspired by the brooklyn nine-nine gifs i see all over tumblr (full disclosure: have not seen the show, need to fix that someday). it’s also set in san francisco because recent @forovnix and @ayabai posts meant i couldn’t not.

- - - “Feet off the desk.” Yuuri Katsuki is the newest addition to the precinct and he hasn’t figured out how Captain Yakov Feltsman manages to say such things to Beautiful Detective Victor Nikiforov with such a scowl: does he dislike angels? Is he allergic to joy? Phichit Chulanont, who is his flatmate and his partner for patrols, keeps a growing list of theories that Yuuri only adds to in the secrecy of their flat, and even there he’s not convinced he’s safe: Yakov is a force, a terrifying thirty-years-of-experience and a gunshot-wound-to-prove it hurricane of fury that sweeps through the open plan of their desks and commands order from chaos. “Mayor’s office is visiting today.”  Victor Nikiforov, who is Unreasonably Good Looking, takes his feet off his desk. He waits until Yakov Feltsman has shut himself into his office and pulled the blinds to slant a look over to Christophe Giacometti, who’s looking way too smug already. Yuuri soon finds out why.

“So Baranovskaya’s paying a visit, huh?” Victor speculates idly. Yuuri has seen him in action on a crime scene, making idiotic, obvious observations like this, and yet what Victor’s best known for is resolving a hostage situation at the tail end of a nasty domestic kidnapping, just a few months ago. There had been guns. Yuuri had sat up all night listening to the police radio with his heart in his throat. Ohmygod, Phichit realized, at approximately 2:47 AM, you’re in love with Victor Nikiforov.

He’s too pretty to die, Yuuri whispered miserably. Except Victor was brilliant, of course; brilliant and reckless and negotiated a completely non-violent surrender. Yuuri’s read up on all kinds of his cases: talking down a jumper from the Golden Gate, for instance.

Back to the present. Victor’s wearing a blue shirt today. It brings out the color of his eyes. Yuuri stares at him, helpless. “They were married, you know.” Christophe chimes in, and then Phichit leans over the desk he shares with Yuuri, and stage-whispers:

“Oh my god. They were married.”

Seung-gil, who does IT, promptly changes the twitter account password to stop Phichit from posting the joke. He looks pointedly across the room at Georgi Popovich from forensics, who’s nearest a large whiteboard with a running tally bearing all of their names. Under Phichit, Georgi adds one more tick mark. 

“Aww, come on. I wasn’t going to actually --”

Seung-gil grunts. Yuuri’s not sure he’s ever heard him speak.

January rolls in. “How were your holidays?” Victor Nikiforov asks pointedly, leaning on Yuuri’s desk. “You went to Japan, right?”

Yuuri can’t remember telling Victor Nikiforov about going with his parents back to Hasetsu, where his Grandparents are still running a traditional onsen. He assumes this is because Victor Nikiforov, the World’s Most Beautiful Detective, is also terrific at assembling information, and not because he got incredibly drunk at the Precinct Christmas Party and proceeded to make out with Victor in the back of a squad car before scrambling outside to puke in a trashcan. 

“Y-yeah.”

“Well, you’ll have loads of time to tell me all about it,” Victor hums. “Giacometti’s going on vacation in the alps for two weeks. Ski season.”

“I don’t --”

“Yuuri,” Victor pouts. Yuuri forgets how to think. “Aren’t you excited we’re going to be working together?”

Of course I am, because you’re great, and --

Yakov Feltsman somehow manages to be everywhere, all the time. “Victor, don’t you have work to be doing?”

Emil Nekola, leaning against the wall near the whiteboard, stops nursing his coffee long enough to add a tick mark to Victor’s name without even looking up from the paperwork he’s reading. 

The next day, Yuuri catches Phichit coaxing Leo de la Iglesia and Guang Hong Ji into some sort of office pool. “What’s the bet this time?”

“Oh, uh. It’s about the Giants.”

Yuuri hates baseball.

Guang Hong gives Yuuri a very strange, assessing look. Yuuri has just come back from lunch with Victor, burritos in the mission, and there’s a spot on his shirt from where the thing oozed salsa. Victor had wiped a spot of guacamole off of the corner of Yuuri’s mouth, which had been something like actual heaven on earth -- the burrito, and Victor’s fingers. Then Guang Hong looks at Victor, looming over Yuuri’s shoulder. “One month,” he tells Phichit.

“Damn,” whistles Leo.

“I don’t get it. What are the Giants going to do in one month?”

Later, when he and Phichit are waiting on their UberEATS, it will hit him: it’s not even baseball season.

Victor insists on taking him out to lunch the next day, and the day after that. The Friday before Christophe’s due to come back from leave he all-but-begs Yuuri to get drinks with him after work, which is the first of a whole series of revelations, facts Yuuri compiles over the course of an evening he does not want to end. Victor drinks one too many fruity cocktails and breathes fuck, I’m gay when Yuuri demolishes a set of bar nachos and then washes them down with what remains of his import beer. 

He didn’t mean to choke on it. “You’re -- you’re what?”

“Gay,” Victor repeats. Victor, it turns out, is a very good kisser. Victor lives on Russian Hill in a tiny, over-priced studio apartment that is too small for his large, over-sized poodle. The poodle still gets approximately seventy-five percent of the bed when Yuuri spends the night. 

Victor says you could spend the weekend with me, you know, and Yuuri promptly cancels his plans. He does not admit these plans involved Netflix, a whole series of computer games from Steam, and eating ice cream out of the carton to cope with Christophe’s imminent return to duty -- something that would surely take Victor out of his daily orbit, and make Yuuri’s life mundane again: back to solving automobile break-ins and issuing citations to drunk techbros who’ve wandered down to the Mission from their parent-funded nests up in the Marina.

“Pay up,” Yakov Feltsman informs Phichit Chulanont when they arrive for work the following Monday. 

“What did I miss?” Christophe wants to know.

Seung-gil sighs heavily, and not for the first time browses LinkedIn for alternative jobs while he’s at work. Yakov casts him a steady look, walks over to the board, and adds a tick to Seung-Gil’s name. He is still at least half a dozen points behind everyone else, with the exception of Yuuri himself.

Christophe, Victor, and Yuuri watch, mystified as Phichit unlocks one of his desk drawers and fetches an envelope stuffed with cash. #VICTUURI is written on the front in black sharpie, underlined.

“You made an office pool about us?” Victor asks, sounding conflicted: like he’s deeply honored and deeply offended at the same time. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“Oh. Oh,” breathes Christophe, who slants a grin at Victor. “About bloody time. What was the winning bid?”

“Two weeks. Lee, print their disclosure forms.”

It turns out that Seung-Gil speaks when Yakov Feltsman speaks to him. “Yes, sir.”

“How did you even --”

“Nothing human is foreign to me, Chulanont. Back to work. Katsuki, do something about that fucking hickey, Baranovskaya’s coming at two.”