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behindyourbarrette · 3 years

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like you a latte - matcha latte

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pairing: spencer reid x fem reader

a/n: SURPRISE i felt like dropping this a DAY early!!lololololol but here it is! i appreciate the love on the last two parts so so soooo much :) can’t beliEVE WE ARE HALFWAY DONE!! reblog if u enjoyed

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Needless to say, Twilight Time isn’t very crowded on Thursday afternoons.

You rarely pick up closing shifts anymore—for reasons totally unrelated to the doctor who almost exclusively arrives in the morning—but you’re covering for Sally, and it’s a nice day out. The rain has let up in favor of mild weather, the sun just barely peeking through the clouds as people drift past the shop. Despite the fact that there’s more foot traffic on the street, not many people come in to order. You don’t blame them. Why have hot coffee on a day like this?

Your back is turned when you hear a group enter, and your heart soars at the prospect of tips. For whatever reason, most people are more inclined to tip when they know their friends are watching. You call out to let them know you’ll be right with them, and after you’re done fidgeting with the settings of the coffee grinder, you turn.

It’s Spencer. But he’s not alone.

There are a total of four people before you, each intimidating you in slightly different ways. They’re all agents, as evidenced by their not-so-concealed carries. You recognize a few of the characters. Spencer’s told you about JJ, who you assume to be the friendly blonde, and Penelope, who is a vision in fuchsia. That leaves Emily, who’s whispering to JJ, eyes fixed on you. You try to absorb the sight, them together. Spencer looks at ease, a wide smile on his face as he looks between you and the group.

“Hey, Spencer. These your coworkers?” You crack a nervous smile, knitting your fingers together. He nods, introducing them each in turn. JJ grins in your direction, and Penelope waves at you with a fingerlessly-gloved hand. Emily reaches across the bar to shake your hand. You get the sense that there’s something Spencer hasn’t told you.

“What can I get you guys?”

Spencer shrugs, defaulting to JJ and Emily. Penelope pipes up, eyes bright as she peers at the menu above you.

“Do you have matcha, sweetheart? I’ve been meaning to try that. It’s great for your skin.” You nod, pulling a cup out and inscribing Penelope’s name on it. JJ and Emily both order americanos, exchanging a sheepish grin. After setting their cups aside, you turn to Spencer.

“Genius, you should really try the matcha. It’ll give you brain power. Not that you need any more.” Penelope does jazz hands to emphasize her excitement, and Spencer shrugs. You watch them interact for a moment before you realize he’s turned to you for your approval.

“Oh. I really like matcha. It’s green tea, and a matcha latte tastes light and sweet. I think you’d like it.” He nods, and orders it hot. Penelope orders iced; you smile as you consider that they compliment each other, eventually turning away to prepare everyone’s drinks. They’re all relatively simple, and you manage to include latte art in the hot drinks. Spencer’s is last, and you flick your wrist to finish the design. Crossing the bar, you hand each agent their drink in turn.

Penelope sips at her drink first, the bright green matching one of her rings perfectly. Spencer eyes his dubiously, poking at it with a wooden stirring stick.

“It’s very green.” He whispers to Penelope, who cackles in response.

JJ catches your eye as you watch, lingering between the bar and their seats. With a smile, she waves you over.

“You’ve totally ruined other coffee for Spence. We had to come try it for ourselves.” She whispers, leaning down. You aren’t sure how to feel about her tone; there’s a glint of something in her eye, something playfully secretive. You’re not sure what part of this you’re not in on.The idea of Spencer mentioning you at all is foreign—sure, you’ve told your roommates, and your coworkers found out that you do, in fact, have a favorite regular. Still, you never considered the idea that you bleed into other parts of his life. You steal a glance at him while JJ compliments her americano. He’s sipping at his matcha, a green mustache left behind.

“You have a magic touch, Y/N. I don’t think I’ve ever had coffee this good in the states.” Emily flashes you a grin as if she can sense your nervousness. You relax a little, asking her about her work abroad instead of getting lost in your head. She strikes you as a diplomat, and a compliment from her feels like something to be savored. Penelope raves to you about the health benefits of matcha, and you immediately feel welcomed by her. If you were to run a study comparing the approachability between pink polka dots and pantsuits, you're sure that polka dots would win.

“Are you an agent, too?” You ask, stirring your own iced coffee with a straw. Eyeing the clock, you’ve decided that this counts as your break. Tyler be damned. Penelope giggles, shaking her head.

“Oh God no. Well, technically. I’m a technical analyst, so I work on the computer and tech end of things.” She explains, and you nod. It makes a lot of sense. While both JJ and Emily exude the energy of most cops—authoritative, with a critical eye—Garcia does’t fit that mold. It’s this that draws you to her.

You learn that JJ has a son named Henry, a surprisingly Southern boyfriend to match, and that Emily has a cat named Sergio. Despite their highbrow titles, you don’t feel out of place. It’s easy to sip at your coffee, the cup cool against your fingertips, and listen.

“Are you in school? Spence mentioned that you majored in literature.” JJ sets her cup down, flexing her fingers against the air. You feel yourself flush now that the attention is on you. The fact that he chose this detail to divulge sticks between your ribs. You haven't told him much about your work—he insisted on reading your thesis, and even reread the source material to better discuss it with you—but apparently, what you have discussed has made an impression.

“Yeah, actually. I’m in my second year of law school.” You admit. Emily nods in approval, reaching out to high five you.

“Damn. With all the assholes you deal with in customer service, you’ll make a great attorney.” You high five her with a small smile on your face, stealing a glance at Spencer. He seems elated, clearly enjoying the dynamic he’s observing.

“Do you want to go into criminal law?”

JJ asks, eyes wide with curiosity. You shake your head ruefully. They take it well, shrugging their shoulders. To their credit, their branch of law enforcement deals with the process prior to prosecution. You shudder at the idea of what happens after they catch the bad guys.

“No, not really. I’m looking at either the entertainment or environmental sector.”

The group murmurs, and the conversation devolves into small talk about law. You look to Spencer for an escape, and he suggests that they take a walk. Once the girls have trickled out of the room, each hugging you goodbye, you’re left alone with Spencer.

“Hey.”

You laugh at the simplicity of his greeting, turning to toss your empty coffee cup into the trash. Spencer flushes a deep shade of red, raking his hands through his hair.

“Your friends aren’t how I expected. Really cool, though. Especially for like, Quantico professionals.” You wipe the counter down, and the reality that you’re on the clock hits you, a little dizzily. Did his coworkers really just want to meet Spencer’s barista? The realization tastes a little bitter, and you bite back any further questioning in favor of looking up at him.

“Yeah. They’re like family.” He looks out the window, hands deep in his pockets. His whole demeanor is stiff, and you resist the urge to reach out and force his shoulders down from his ears.

“Did you like the matcha? I wasn’t sure you would. I used the oat milk you like.” Slowly, he relaxes. With a small smile, he nods.

“It was good. I like most teas, I’m finding. It wasn’t too sweet.” You add matcha to the mental list you keep, of drinks he likes. It’s become your mission to expand it. In the months since he started branching out, you’ve managed to add a few drinks to his core rotation.

“You know you’re one of my friends too, right?”

This catches you off guard. You pause in the motion of sweeping the floor, carefully raising your eyes to meet his. While nervous, he sounds sincere. When met with your silence, he continues.

“I just wanted you to know.”

You nod carefully. The implications of this are something you’ll consider later, when you’re alone. He’s only confirming something you’ve already known, but something about it stings. The word crosses your mind briefly, but it sticks. It’s bittersweet.

“I know.” Your voice is low, soft against the din of the coffee shop. Spencer doesn’t look satisfied, opening his mouth to say something then closing it again. He glances between you and the window.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

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zmediaoutlet · 4 years

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in support of Texas relief, @romancewritingandwinchesters donated $20, and requested Sam and Dean waiting out a Texas storm with no electricity. Thank you for donating!

to get your own personalized fic, please see this post.

(read on AO3)

When the snow starts coming down, Dean's not yet worried. He's driven the whole country at least five times; he can handle snow. It's when the temperature starts dropping fast that he pulls up, at the closest gas station, and fills the tank, and sends Sam inside for a few gallons of water and whatever food they don't have to cook. "I told you," Sam says, which frankly Dean thinks is a very smug and unattractive way of looking at the situation. "Remember, that front I was telling you about?"

"Yeah, but who thought it'd get this cold in Texas," Dean says, watching the numbers tick up on the pump. Shit, this is gonna be expensive.

"Oh, you know," Sam says, arms folded tight over his chest, stamping his feet by the car's rear door. "Meteorologists. Climatologists. Just that level."

Dean rolls his eyes, but Sam's turned away luckily and can't see it. Turns out Sam gets a little bitchy when it's this cold. They didn't really pack for it—this was supposed to be a low swing south to check a few harmless jobs, stuff that'd take Sam's mind off the whole soulless thing, a couple of easy wins and some weather a little better than February in South Dakota, but it's not working out that way. Fourteen degrees, according to the display on the Shell sign above their heads, and it's only nine at night.

The snow's already piling up, on the parking lot and in the street, making the nice local El Paso people drive under ten miles per hour and making the world seem—not-right. Alien. A cactus planted in the median glints with ice and Dean sucks his teeth, shivers hard. When the car's full up he recaps the tank and sets the nozzle back in place and then looks out at the frosted world. The black shine on the asphalt. "I don't like the look of that road," he says, after a second, and Sam follows his gaze and nods, immediately. "Tonight's not the night to get out of town."

"Texas blizzard on the highway?" Sam says, a little sarcastic, but shakes his head, more serious. "Yeah, it's gonna get a lot worse." His nose is pink from the cold. "Too cold for the car. Even if we still had that—remember, that awful pink blanket?"

"The one you totally ruined?" Dean says, and Sam grins, even if he shudders after. Sam ruined it by getting clawed up by a ghoul when he was twenty-three and trying to protect Dean from something he didn't need protecting from and then bleeding all over the damn blanket when Dean put him in the backseat to race him to the ER. Dumbass, Dean had called him then, but honestly not much has changed. Dean shoves Sam's side, shaking his head. "Why are we standing around here in the cold? Get in the car, let's go."

"You're the one who took forever with the gas," Sam argues back, but he gets in the car, so. Win for Dean. Beyond the win of having this Sam, this right good Sam, in the car in the first place—whole again, with the soul to make a context for the memories that make him Dean's brother.

They're not far off the highway so there'll be motels. The issue hits when they're driving—slow, painfully slow, crawling behind snow-caked Texas plates that don't know how to handle the weather—and the street goes suddenly dark, the lights crashing off in the fast food places and gas stations lining the road. "Shit," Dean says, checking the rearview, but luckily the truck behind him hasn't slammed its brakes and they're not about to be involved in a black-ice skid.

"You think—" Sam says, but cranes around and it's obvious. Some part of the grid, failing, and that's going to mean some panic and it's going to mean some accidents and it's also going to mean finding a place to stay just got a hell of a lot harder.

The kid at the motel they pick clearly has no idea what to do. It's a shithole, which is why Dean pulled in, and clearly there weren't too many customers to begin with. The lobby's dark other than a flashlight the kid's waving around while he explains in a panic that their electricity is out—"I can see that," Dean says, trying to be patient—and Sam finally leans over the counter, takes the flashlight out of the kid's hand, and sets it upright on the counter so it acts like a shitty lantern, filling the room with grey.

"Oh," the kid says, eyes gleaming big in the suddenly stable light. The kid—the boy. He looks barely older than Ben.

"Look," Sam says, while Dean's trying to shake off that thought. "We get that there won't be cable. We just need somewhere to weather it out."

"My register doesn't even work," the boy says, and Dean reaches into his wallet and peels out two hundred bucks and lays it fanned out on the counter. More big eyes—the room rate on the sign outside is forty-nine a night. "Oh," he says, again.

"Just give us keys, okay?" Dean says. "You can explain to your manager in the morning. How these weirdos paid a hundred, cash."

A blink. Maybe he's too young to realize he's being bribed. Sam sighs, and leans over the counter again. "We're taking room 13," he says, coming up with a key in hand. A physical key—Dean was right about the kind of dump this is. The boy opens his mouth and closes it, and Sam jerks his head at Dean before he gives the boy a half-smile, fake as hell. "Try to stay warm in here, okay?"

The Impala's already inch-thick with snow, outside. "Why the hell did that take so long," Sam mutters.

Dean snorts. "Thirteen?" he says, and Sam nods, folding himself back into the passenger seat for the short drive over—"Center room, more insulation," he says—and when they pull around to the odds side of the building he's right. The city's blanketed in dark and weirdly quiet, with the muffling of the snow, so it feels almost like opening up some hidden hunter's cabin as they unlock the room, unpack the car inside. Sam bought jerky, chips, iffy-looking gas station fruit, and Dean still has one lantern and two spare d-cells and a bottle of whiskey that's almost entirely full, and the water, thank god, is still running. "For how long, though," Sam says, so Dean drags a hand over his face and zips his jacket closed and goes down the row of rooms in the freezing dark to the one that's marked PRIVATE, and breaks in to find cleaning supplies that… clearly haven't been used in that long. Buckets, though, that he rinses out and then fills in the utility sink. Spare bedding on shelves above the laundry machine and he picks out two blankets, the shitty supersoft microfleece kind that have always been his favorite.

When he gets back, burdened like a mule, he finds the room—weirdly sort of homey. Sam's got the lantern on the rickety little desk and it's blasting white light up that wall, but he's lit their spare ritual candles, too, and put them on the nightstand, on top of the blank TV, the minifridge crammed up in the corner by the bathroom. It's warm inside, especially once Dean's got the door kicked closed behind him again, but it won't stay that way for long. "Laundry?" Sam says, and at Dean's nod he disappears outside too, and comes back with a pile of the thin towels in his arms, and packs them in against the bottom of the door, the base of the single-pane windows. The water heaters might be gas but they might be electric, too, and with no way of knowing they take turns in the shower, cleaning up fast. The water's still hot when it's Dean's turn and he luxuriates, for a minute that he counts off in his head, letting the weak stream melt over his shoulders and put heat into his bones, where hopefully it'll stay a while.

The bathroom's steamy when he gets out but it's already cooling fast. Not much insulation in the walls. He dries off scrupulously, trying to get off every bit of damp he can, and redresses by candlelight. Smells like beeswax, the hippie natural candles Sam always picks when they restock their kit. His soulless self didn't bother with that. What a weird thing to turn out to miss.

Back in the room, Sam's made a pile of their food on the desk by the lantern, and lined up the buckets of water by the door. Dean checks his watch: ten o'clock, and they're packed into this room like a bunker. Safe, as warm as they can be, clean and healthy and food to hand. Now there is, truly, nothing at all to do but wait.

"Not even wi-fi," Sam says, under his breath like he had the same thought. Dean huffs. Sam's mouth lifts on one side, wry. He sits on the end of one bed, hands folded between his knees, and gives a shrug. "Well. We got a night off."

They did. About time, too, with how they've been running lately. Sam making up for every bad thing his soulless self ever might've done, and Dean just trying to hold onto the bar so he won't fly off. First time in weeks that Dean's had Sam to himself without Sam searching for another job or trying to pin down his own sad timeline or his brain melting out his ear, and he almost doesn't know what to do with it. A bit of silence, between them, that stretches. Dean licks his lips. "Wanna play charades?"

Sam snorts. "You'd cheat," he says, and Dean smiles his most honest smile, and that makes Sam roll his eyes but smile a little, too. "How long do you think we have until it gets really cold?"

Dean tips his head back and forth, thinking. "It's—what, fifty degrees in here?" Sam shrugs. "I don't know. It'll be friggin' cold in the morning, but we won't freeze."

"Guess not," Sam says, but he's still just sitting there. His eyes on Dean, his body quiet. Dean pours them both cups of the whiskey and sits on the other bed, and Sam rotates to face him, and they toast each other with a rasping papery excuse for a clink and take a swallow each, and it sinks down to Dean's gut like fire, welcome with how chilly it is in here, and Sam's just… still looking at him. Like he's something worth looking at. Dean feels his face go warm and wonders if he can blame the whiskey.

"Hey," Sam says, cup held easy between his knees. "Tell me something."

Dean leans back. "What, truth or dare? We're a little old for that, don't you think?"

His legs are kicked out into the space between the beds. Sam shifts and their boots knock together. "Maybe you are," Sam says, and Dean makes a face at him. Sam smiles and takes another sip, watching Dean over the top of his cup, and after the slight pull at the sting he's still smiling, small. "This last year. Did you ever think about…" He shakes his head, looks down at his cup. Dean nudges his ankle to get him to keep going and Sam looks back up, his hair hanging a little in his eyes. "Did you ever want to sleep with—him?"

Dean's lips part but nothing comes out. He's genuinely surprised. Sam's eyes tighten, a tiny shift that's almost not visible in the dim combination of candle-and-lantern light. "No," Dean says, after a pause that's too long. Sam's head tips back, assessing. "No," Dean repeats, firmer. "It wasn't—right."

Sam hmms and Dean takes a drink. Truth or dare, he really ought to do his forfeit. It's not a lie, not really, but it's not—completely true. Robo-Sam never seemed interested and Dean was still half-caught with Lisa and Dean's a lot of things but a cheater's not one of them, and he'd thought—he didn't know. That Sam didn't want it anymore. Whatever fumbling they'd gotten up to, their drunken stupidity, the almost violent way it'd get sometimes, the way Dean would sink his nails into Sam's back and Sam would bite his throat and then the way, after, sometimes, Sam would look at him in the dark and Dean would think, god—

His cheeks are flushed, hot enough to feel in the cool air. "So," Sam says, after the moment's stretched out, "we never—even when I came back—"

"Not exactly trying to make it with my long-lost brother when my creepy resurrected grandpa's breathing down my neck, no," Dean says, and Sam grimaces but then laughs, and then bites his bottom lip. Still looking at Dean and Dean takes a breath, deep, and thinks, jesus. Eighteen months, more, since the last time, most of it with Sam walking around with no soul, and Dean caught up in a relationship that crashed and burned, and it feels—different. They're both different. Happened somehow when Dean wasn't looking but here's the evidence, in how calm Sam is, in how they're just—quiet, here, together. Something building slow, in the cold, with the snow sifting down outside.

Sam lets his lip go, slow, his teeth dragging white. His eyes drop to Dean's mouth, and lower. "I've got lube," he says. Dean blinks. Sam lifts a shoulder, almost apologetic. "Don't know from what, but it's in my duffle. I've been—wondering."

"Jeez, Sammy," Dean says, and has to laugh, too, kind of breathless. It's hot. Jesus, it's hot, hotter than it should be, to just have Sam say it flat out like that. Asking. "What, you want to huddle for warmth?"

Sam raises his eyebrows, glances sidelong at his bed. "I mean," he says, and Dean has to laugh again. "If there were ever an opportunity—"

Dean leans in and gets Sam's jacket in one hand, and pulls. Sam scoots forward easy, his knee sliding up against Dean's inseam, and it's—easy, weirdly easy, easy in a way it never was, to lean in and press his mouth to Sam's and have Sam just—kiss back, pressing Dean's mouth open right away and brushing his tongue over Dean's lip, slick and hot, his breath warm on Dean's cool skin. "Damn," Dean says, soft.

Sam smiles against his mouth and kisses him again, puts his chilly fingertips against Dean's exposed throat. "I mean, we don't have anything else to do, right?" he says, pulling back an inch.

Dean rolls his eyes and says, "You really gotta learn some better lines."

Sam presses in, kisses him again soft on the mouth. God, Sam's mouth. "I don't think I do," Sam says, hanging there, and Dean groans, pushes Sam's face away, thinks: yes. Yes.

He goes to the bathroom. Takes his time. The toilet, thank god, is still flushing, so the water lines haven't yet gone down. He runs the sink and wets a washrag and cleans up, and washes his hands, and then he licks his mouth wet and looks at himself, in the spotty mirror, the candlelight flickery and making his face strange. When he comes out Sam's stripped the bed closer to the door and the other one is spread with that bedding, the blankets Dean stole, and Sam's in the middle of taking off his belt, standing in his socks with his shirt off and his chest bare and his hair a little ruffled, and he looks up at Dean in the bathroom doorway and smiles, and lays his belt on the bare bed, and says, "C'mere," and Dean comes.

Sam's hands are cold and Dean bitches about that, immediately. "Shut up," Sam advises, and Dean says, "Oh, if anyone needs to—" and Sam kisses him, like Dean knew he would, so that's okay. Together they get Dean's jacket off, his flannel, his t-shirt, and he shivers but Sam's hands drag down his arms and that's so warm Dean can hardly stand it. He drags his fingers through Sam's chest hair—hair, when Sam had been so sleek before—and Sam kisses the top of his ear, weirdly affectionate in a way that makes Dean's chest hot—and then his fingers go for Dean's belt, his jeans, and Dean pushes him away an inch, then, taking a second to breathe.

Sam's—christ. Hot. His nipples pebbled up tight and his cheeks a little pink, even in the candlelight. "Gotta get my boots off, man," Dean says, and Sam looks down like he's surprised that an impediment to getting in Dean's pants might exist, and Dean grins, sits back on the bed. Okay, so. Sam's not suddenly a pure sex god. Somehow that's as much of a relief as the breathing room was.

He works at the knot of his laces. Sam takes the opportunity to strip off his jeans, and then there's his bare long legs, his boxer-briefs. His dick's thick in them, obvious, but while Dean's tugging off his second boot Sam skims them off and down and then he's just—naked, nearly all the way except his stupid black socks he always wears, and Dean huffs and says, "Sexy," dry, but then Sam's kneeling down in front of him, sliding his hands up Dean's thighs, and—well. Truth or dare. Dean wouldn't have to take a drink, this time.

The corner of Sam's mouth lifts and he unzips Dean's jeans, and then tucks his fingers into the waistband, and Dean lifts his ass up and lets Sam pull and Sam—takes his time about it, damn him, pulling down Dean's underwear too so the cold air ripples up goosebumps all the way down Dean's legs, freezing. Sam kisses Dean's chest, his nipple—Dean grabs Sam's head, surprised—and then ducks down, kisses the root of his dick and then sucks in the head, soft and warm, slick, so abrupt that Dean slams a hand down onto the edge of the mattress and his head falls back, his hips lifting. Christ, Sammy. A big hand circles around Dean's calf and Sam sucks, soft, while Dean's dick rises so fast he gets dizzy—and then Sam pulls away, the cold air hitting like a hammer, and lifts up with his mouth pinked-wet and says, "Get in bed," and Dean stares at him like a lunatic for a second and then, jesus, scrambles to obey.

He scooches in to the middle. The blankets are ridiculous, double-weight and heavy, but the sheets are chilly even through his socked feet. Sam climbs in after him and pushes right up against his back, his dick swelling up against Dean's ass, his body a hot shock among the cold. "You're a friggin' furnace," Dean says, and Sam snorts, bites soft at Dean's bare shoulder. There's a second of separation—Sam stretching away—and then Sam's back, under the blankets, kisses under Dean's ear, slides his hand over Dean's hip, down. Dean's breath hitches and he slides his leg forward. "Yeah?" Sam says, the idiot, and Dean says, "Duh, bitch," and there's a huff and then a muffled click and then Sam's fingers are slick, sliding up against his ass, pushing in.

Oh—god. It's been—since the last time. Dean turns his face against the pillow and pulls his leg higher, makes room. Sam's fingers, wet-thick, and the strange uncertain feeling of being broken open, how it pulls and worries, his body barely remembering what to do. Long time. Sweat breaks out at his temples, the middle of his back. He drops a hand to his dick and squeezes, letting it know something better's coming.

"You're tight," Sam says. Unnecessarily, in Dean's opinion. "You really, you never—?"

"Some things should be kept between a man and his hour-long showers, Sammy," Dean says, light, and it's not really true but Sam huffs another little laugh and kisses his ear, and Dean pops his leg up instead even though that makes a cool cavern of air under the covers, giving Sam the room to work him. He pushes back, pulls at his dick, works it fat, and against his ass Sam's dick feels full, ready. He always liked this part, the part where he made Dean want it. He turns his head and says, "Sam," and Sam lifts up and kisses him just like he wanted, his chest warm against Dean's shoulder and his fingers spreading deep, pushing the slick inside where they need it, and while he's kissing Dean and relearning every molar Dean feels the fingers slip out, rubbing instead at Dean's hole where it's hot now, wet, flexing. He drags in air through his nose and reaches behind himself, finding Sam fat and heavy. Thick. Jesus, he could never forget how thick.

"Ready?" Sam says and that's a stupid question. Dean tugs the blankets higher with his free hand, covering his shoulder against the cold, snubs Sam up against himself and then lets go, finds Sam's hip, pulls—and Sam takes over, holding Dean's belly as he pushes inside, and Dean tries to contain the flinch but can't and Sam kisses his temple, soft, and his ear, and his neck, and doesn't stop, bulling open that place for himself, splitting Dean wide. His pubes press against Dean's ass. Dean grips the pillow and lets his knee sink down and immediately what's already tight is tighter, closer. Sam grunts against him, slides his hand down to find Dean's half-wilted dick. "You feel—" Sam starts, but he squeezes Dean's dick instead of saying, and Dean's fine with that, he doesn't need compliments when he just needs Sam to—

"Move," he says, and Sam moves.

It's slow, from being on their sides. No real force behind it. Dean knocks Sam's hand away from his dick and Sam squeezes his balls instead, and then slips a hand to the inside of his thigh and keeps him close that way, locking Dean in place to be fucked. He's still tight but he's loosening up, from the thick rocking churn of Sam inside him, buried up to the root half the time, flexing in and making Dean stretch for him, forcing in that deep good ache of being open, slick for it. With the underhand grip on Dean's thigh his thumb slots in right at the base of Dean's dick, a soft dragging pressure every time Sam squeezes, and Dean can hardly think for how good it all feels. For how much he missed it and pretended for so long he wasn't missing it. Sam's other arm is tucked under the pillow, under his head, and he manages to shove the pillow away enough that he gets bare skin and bites there, soft in Sam's bicep, and Sam drags in air through his teeth and pushes in harder, the wet drag enough that Dean shudders, shoulders to hips, and Sam squeezes his thigh so hard that it hurts.

If it weren't so damn cold Dean would want to throw the blankets off—get on his back with Sam between his legs—lift up, ride, to remember the way Sam's eyes went so dark and hot and intense from seeing Dean get off on him. As it is he feels it building slow, the sweat between them starting to get oppressive, his throat a little abraded from the way Sam keeps dragging his teeth over it, his breath hot there where Dean's skin's so wet. He clenches inside, as much as he can when he's split wide like this, and Sam grunts, warm burst of air against the back of his ear. "Fuck," Dean says, squirming back. He presses his knees together and Sam feels even thicker, his hand caught between Dean's thighs. "Fuck, Sammy—"

"God, I want to come," Sam says, and Dean jerks, caught against him, his dick spitting. Sam worms his hand out and cups Dean's nuts, rubs warm at the root of his dick, his lips smearing against Dean's neck. "God, you're—are you close?"

"Out of practice," Dean says, breathily light, like that's even fucking remotely true. "Can't you tell?" Sam's hand pulls up, fisting his dick, and Dean arches as much as he can, shoving down onto Sam, his teeth floating on this feeling. His gut's molten. "Fuck—Sam, if you—"

"I have to," Sam says, thin, and pushes—Dean tips over and Sam slides, god, out, but in a second he's covering Dean's back and Dean's spreading as wide as he can and Sam slots right back inside, hard, and Dean drags in air against the mattress but doesn't really care, doesn't need it. Sam's pumping inside, fast and deep, the jolting drag of it sliding all over exactly where Dean wants him, and Sam's hands slip from Dean's sides to his hip to his shoulders, holding him in place, and Dean worms a hand between the bed and his dick and lets Sam shove him into his own grip, the rhythm perfect, perfect—Sam's mouth hot against the knob of his spine—and Dean comes pulsing into his own hand, his toes curling and his lips spread against the sheet and his whole body locking up, it feels like, tense, unloading—and Sam groans, shoves his hand between them to feel the mess Dean's making, says, "Fuck, you're—fuck, you're so hot, Dean, the hottest I ever—" and gets a hand on Dean's ass and pulls it wider, shoves in harder, for a shocking minute where it almost hurts except that Dean's so floaty and satisfied he'd take a knife in his flesh and wouldn't mind—and when Sam finally comes he presses right up inside and pumps it deep, forcing it in, and Dean sighs against the bed, overheated and wet, and lets go of his own dick enough that he can tangle his fingers with Sam's, slick, crumpled, bone to bone.

Sam's a deadweight on his back. Dean turns his face against the sheet and gets a pocket of slightly cooler air, content to take it. He squeezes Sam's fingers and in response Sam squeezes his hip, and then slowly, slowly, his lips brush the back of Dean's ear, and then Dean's cheek. "Wow," Sam says, quiet, and Dean snorts. A shift, inside, that makes Dean open his eyes wide—oh, he's open now but it feels—and one of Sam's knees slips over to the outside of Dean's, different leverage, as he pushes in again on all the wet he made, and in again, still thick. Dean licks his lips and it's so quiet he can hear the wet noise it makes—match, to when Sam pulls out—a spill, trickling down over Dean's balls—and then the squelch as he pushes back in and makes Dean grip the pillow, makes his nuts pulse in heated shock.

"I could go again right now," Sam says, low against his ear, entirely honest.

Dean has to take a deep breath. "Don't press your luck," he says, raw, and Sam laughs quiet, drags out again—still hard, christ above—and tugs at Dean's shoulder, and turns him over in a messy sheet-tangling pull, and gets them the right way around to kiss, full, open, Dean's hands on Sam's waist and the bed smeary and disgusting, between them.

When Dean pulls away, Sam's got his fingers curled around the back of his ear, his dick warm and full up against Dean's hip. He smiles, looking back at Dean in the barely-light. Dean smiles back, kind of helpless. "We really wrecked this bed," Dean says. Just for something to say.

Sam's shoulder lifts. "Heated it up, though," he says, and, well. He's not wrong.

The candles are still lit, and they'll have to take care of those so they don't burn the damn room down. The lantern, too—they shouldn't waste the batteries. There's a slit in the blankets somewhere, cool air pouring in over Dean's back, and he tugs, and Sam gets it and helps him smooth them out, making a cocoon for the two of them. The discarded lube bottle ends up under Dean's back and he slides it up under the pillow, for hopeful future use. Their socked toes bump together. Sam's nose is cold, where it bumps Dean's cheek, but that's all right. Dean's not in a state to mind.

"It's gonna suck to dig out the car in the morning," Sam says, out of nowhere.

Dean closes his eyes and pulls at Sam's waist, getting him closer. Sam's knee slides between his thighs. "That's what I missed about you, man," he says, drowsy. "You always know what to say to get me hot."

Sam snorts. His knuckles drag over Dean's jaw, safe and warm.

#ffcc #wincest #bedsharing #huddling for warmth #my writing

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they-say-you-go-blind · 4 years

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Close Around the Campfire | Jack / Davey Fanfiction

Davey and Jack were close. It was different, instantaneous kind of close that neither had experienced until this point. Did either of them intend to find the person they were meant to be with forever at counselor orientation day of a summer camp? Never in a million years.

———————————————

Davey had turned 19 less than a week ago. With one year of Political Science under his belt, but a hearty student loan to pay off, he was desperate for a job. With that first application, and a couple of phone interviews later, and he was set for the summer . However, now that he was pulling into the staff parking lot at Blockwood Summer Camp, he wasn’t so sure. He turned the keys of his beat up car and typed a text to Les.

I made it to camp safe. Going to do some counselor stuff for the next few days so probably won’t be able to talk much. I’ll see ya in a couple of weeks for A.R.K. camp.

He slumped in his seat. 10 weeks of leading campfire songs and doing archery and making sure a weekly rotation of kids stay alive... maybe he hadn’t thought about it enough. He opened snap and took a picture of his bags that were crammed into the back of his car. He looked at the photo for a second, captioned it with ‘I believe I’ve made a horrible mistake’, and sent it to the groupchat with his best friends.

He knew he had about ten minutes until he should start making his way to the Mess Hall, as it said in his Orientation Day email. His best friend, Katherine, was trying to call him and he nearly let it ring out. At the last second, he pressed answer and spoke,

“I don’t think I should be here.”

Katherine and Davey had been best friends since diapers. In Kindergarten, their teachers were convinced they were twins just because of they way they acted with each other (and their aversion to all others). In middle school, the two of them sang and did a choreographed dance number at the talent show. They were the Closet Gay prom king and Queen, most representation that their school had ever had. And now, going into their sophomore year of college, they were honest with one another about everything, could joke about anything, and be trusted with the deepest secrets the other had. It’s no surprise that Katherine blurted out,

“I’m sorry, have you seen your co-workers?!”

Davey was taken aback.

“How the hell do you know what they look like?”

Katherine blushed. Her secret was out.

“You gave me access to your email before you left, in case you got anything important.”

Davey nodded and and whispered out an ‘oh no’. Katherine started to send the screenshots as she spoke.

“I saw your orientation email... it wasn’t hard to find their socials from there...”.

Davey couldn’t believe it as he swiped through the profiles of the three other boys who were his new co-workers. Katherine started to narrate each of her discoveries.

“First off, is Harrison “Race” Higgins. Seems fun and all. Also, I’m sure you can see in the profile picture, but Rainbow Flag!”

“Ah yes, Christian church camp is where I’m going to find my b...”

Davey could barely get the words out. Katherine was the only person in his “real life” who knew that the “you two should just get married” comments about him and Kath would absolutely never happen. Katherine just giggled, like a schoolgirl keeping a secret.

“Just you wait, Davey.”

Davey pondered on Race’s profile picture. Seemed cute, a little goofy, a lot like a best friend. Katherine continued.

“Next is Zachary “Spot” Conlon. Don’t tell me why they both have nicknames. But he is...”

“He looks like he could beat me up with a glare.”

Katherine laughed at that.

“They’re dating, by the way. They give me forever together vibes.”

Davey swiped between the two profiles as she talked. She wasn’t wrong, forever vibes were There.

“Huh, noted.”

“And the last one,” Katherine cleared her throat.

“ and I’ll let you narrate this one yourself, is Jack Kelley.”

Jack Kelly was the most attractive boy Davey had ever seen. His profile picture looked like it was him in a painting class for University. He had a little bit of pink paint on his cheek and a beautiful smile. His eyes were the color of a clear blue sky. It looked that his cover photo was one of his paintings as well,... a landscape piece with the initials J.K. in the bottom right corner. His “about me” was a gold mine, and he would be sure to read every detail later.

“Dibs on this one.”

He told Katherine. It had been their thing, that once they’d both seen someone attractive, the first one to call dibs would have zero roadblocks to them. Davey was so enthralled. He just kept staring at the profile picture.

“He’s just...”

“Perfect? I know...”

She chuckled to herself.

“And, there’s one more thing you should know.”

She spoke and sent him the final screenshot. When Davey opened it, he was confused.

A picture of Katherine’s Facebook?

She nearly squealed, but kept composure to say.

“You really were not observant when you pulled into the parking lot. I expected better from you, Davey J.”

Davey was in shock. She couldn’t have made this up! He got so excited and nervous and relieved all at once. Looking around, he saw her car and waved.

“You’re not pulling my leg, right? This isn’t some twisted joke... really?!”

“Yes! Apparently one of the female counselors was Not who she said she was, so they called me last night and I am here for the summer!”

She spoke quickly, Davey could barely understand what she was saying.

“You’re literally my favorite person in the world.”

He spoke with sincerity. He couldn’t believe his best friend in the world would be spending the summer with him.

“I might have to become your second favorite. If I’m not mistaken, Jack Kelly just pulled in the parking lot.”

Davey turned his head to see him and couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds. Photos did not do Jack Kelly justice. Davey’s head was spinning. He didn’t know if he could manage spending five seconds with him. How was he supposed to survive the summer? Davey’s face grew red as he realized Jack was pulling into the spot next to him.

———————————————

“Kath, holy shit.” Davey blurted out as he snapped his head to the front. “Language, Daves. Christian children’s camp...”

Katherine snorted as she laughed at Davey, who was now flustered and red in the cheeks.

“What are we gonna do?”

He asked, his forehead falling on the steering wheel in defeat. Katherine pondered.

“We? No, you. You called dibs! I’m just along for the ride.”

“You’re an asshole. I’m actually going to die. He is... God Kath-”

Davey stopped mid-sentence as he heard a knock on his window. He lifted his head to see Jack Kelly.

“Good luck with that, babe.”

After making a frustrated noise, and trying to refrain from looking like an idiot, he hung up the call, cranked the window down, and smiled, waiting for Jack to speak.

“Hey there. You must be working here, too?”

Davey nearly combusted as Jack leaned back onto the passengers door of his car, which was nicer than his own. Did Davey care about that? Not really.

“Yeah, I’m David Jacobs. Most people call me Davey.”

“Jack Kelly.”

He stuck out his hand, Davey shook it through the window and chuckled. Jack continued.

“It’s nice to meet ya. You’re radiating ‘camp counselor’, but don’t wanna assume.”

Davey’s brain was all but melted. This boy wanted to talk to him. He got out of his car and made the effort to talk to him.

“Yeah, course. I- yeah.”

“What’s got ya so bothered you can barely form a sentence?”

“No, nothing it’s just- did they have other jobs? Not like I would want one but like-“

Jack laughed. This Davey kid was adorable.

“Sure they do, got my buddy Finch running around as a lifeguard, couple of others do maintenance, and I think they brought on Albert to be a ‘activity coordinator’. That basically means when we do archery, he’s in charge of us not shooting each other in the leg.”

Davey chuckled.

“So you’ve worked here before?”

Jack nodded and looked around. This place was a second home to him.

“My ma’s the camp director. Been goin’ here since I was like, 7 and workin’ for the past two years.”

Jack smiled wide and continued on.

“Speaking of workin, we should probably head in. I usually come early to help set up but she insisted I try to be more “normal” this summer. Famous last words, I guess.”

They both laughed quite a bit.

“You’re very friendly, Jack.”

Davey spoke, metaphorically walking on eggshells as to not mess up the friendship that he hoped was forming. He got out of his car and realized he was the same height as Jack, if only a little bit shorter. They were very close to each other.

“Why thanks, Davey. Tell her you said so...”

Jack laughed with him as they made their way to the mess hall. He explained to Davey the in’s and out’s of Blockwood. Most of the people who worked their had gone to camp in their teens and it was just natural to apply for a job there, too.

Before Jack walked in the mess hall, he turned to Davey. Jack had made eye contact every time he spoke with him. It was nice.

“Just double checkin, because ma ain’t always good with hiring ages, ya 18?”

“Oh, yeah. Just turned 19.”

“Good good. I’m about to turn 21, if that matters.”

“It’s good information to have, especially when we’re about to spend all summer together.”

Was Jack blushing? He didn’t know, and it was hot out. Either way, he didn’t care because Jack Kelly was talking to him and adorable.

“Yeah, Davey. For sure.”

Jack opened the door to see Race and Spot all over each other. He snapped his fingers at them and both looked towards Davey. Jack spoke up.

“Hey boys, we got a new one. Be civil, this here’s Davey.”

Race smiled, got up from his seat, and stuck out his hand.

“Name’s Racetrack. You can call me Race or Racer or Sweetheart. It’s good to meet ya, Dave.”

Davey chuckled and shook it. He really was late to the party. They all knew each other.

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

“That shortie there is my pal-“

Race shot a look at Jack, who shrugged. He continued.

“Sorry, are you?”

Race gestured to his rainbow friendship bracelet. Hoping that would be enough. At camp, they tried not to use the word. Some people had gotten very angry when their child had come home saying, ‘my counselor was gay’.

“No, no, no. I am. Not out, but, I guess I am, now. Yes.”

Race nodded and amended his statement.

“I gotcha, Davey. That’s my boyfriend, Spot.”

Davey gave a wave and Spot nodded and waved back. Had Davey really come out to people he met ten seconds ago? Jack looked surprised. At least you’re not obvious.

Katherine came inside soon after. She was immediately swooped up by Race and told to “lose the good girl vibe” from Spot. She laughed with them for awhile about the instant ‘Davey and Jack’ connection. It wasn’t hard to see for either of their friends.

Jack introduced Davey to the whole gang. Finch and Albert were in the corner trying to decide who was right about a candy from the snack shack. Sarah and Chutchie dancing to the approved “Camp Playlist”, and his mama trying to finalize a little bit of paperwork.

He got to Romeo, trying a pick-up line on Katherine, and stopped.

“Hey there, Miss. Don’t believe we’ve met before. My name’s Jack. Jack Kelly.”

He stuck out his hand and she shook it.

“Charmed. I’m Katherine, Katherine Plumber-Jacobs.”

Katherine and Davey smiled at each other and laughed. Jack looked between the two of them and his’s face was turning red.

“What... y’all ain’t married or something, are ya?!”

Davey and Katherine started to laugh without cease. Davey tried to explain through snorts.

“No... she just uses that line because she wants to be my twin. Kath, here, she’s my best friend.”

Romeo spoke up.

“Oh goodness. Well ain’t that the best of both worlds for ya, Jack?”

Jack narrowed his eyes and shot a glare Romeo’s way.

“Now that I know there’s two of ya, I won’t be so scared to let Davey wander. Thought I was gonna have to be glued to his side!”

“Don’t think he’d like me very much if you stopped leading him around.”

Davey was flustered, but Katherine and Jack laughed and laughed. She waved goodbye, going to talk to Sarah instead of interrupting their “together time”, as she called it while recounting the day with Davey. He tried to apologize to Jack.

“Sorry about her.”

“No way, she’s spunky and loud. She’ll fit right in.”

Davey looked around. He wasn’t wrong. It was chaotic and were Romeo and Race arm wrestling? Was Katherine really cheering them on?

“Yeah, she’s... great.”

“You’re great.”

Jack backtracked as his face grew red.

“Oh shit, um sorry about that. That didn’t-”

“Hey, it’s... you’re great, too. Just cut that language out before kids get here in a few days, Kelly.”

Davey smiled and Jack swears that if this was literally any other setting, he would kiss him or draw him a picture or do anything to see that smile every day. Unfortunately, Jack decided to revert to a Jack that didn’t like getting emotional in front of his friends. Chalk it up to force of habit.

“So, you enjoy it here?”

“Is that even a question? It’s awesome, Jack.”

———————————————

It had been a full day of training. Ms. Medda, as Davey had learned was Jack’s mother, and some of the more experienced staff got newcomers ready for camp. She explained how these first three days were training and that there were still things that needed to be done before kids came on Monday. Everyone did some basic first aid and some get-to-know-you games.

Katherine and Davey worked on learning names and people’s jobs. It seemed that when you thought you had it all figured out, Jack or Race would call ‘em a whole new nickname and the pieces would all fall apart. Maintenance (Elmer, Buttons, and Jojo) and lifeguards (Finch and Romeo) had a bit more training to do. Albert and Crutchie, outdoor and indoor activity coordinators, needed to organize some things for the first day.

That left the counselors. Davey, Jack, Race, Spot, Katherine, and Sarah decided to go on a nature walk. That group, of all people, would be spending the most time together. They took them through the woods, showed them the cabins, made sure that Davey and Katherine were somewhat oriented on the camp property. During the walk, Jack took the lead to explain where they were and what needed to be done.

• “Alright, adventure course- never go there without Albert... or me, I’m more fun.”

• “Cabins- good stuff. We can drive down the path to unpack cars later. But Ma’s got me on a tight schedule.”

• “Swimming house- also doubles as a bath house. None of us are going to smell particularly great until Off Days. But please, for the love of our Lord and Savior, make sure your kids shower.”

Race chimed in on this one, acting as if he were passing down an urban legend as Spot started to chuckle.

“They will try to persuade you, tell you they don’t need one. But they do.”

Sarah and Katherine had instantly been drawn to each other. Davey didn’t know how, but Katherine had already managed to be given two friendship bracelets. She would be just fine. He would be, too.

Jack sighed as the timer on his phone went off.

“Sorry gang, walk’s been terminated. But, now it’s time for my favorite part of camp.

Please don’t say hazing. No hazing.

“Building the campfire!”

Davey chuckled as the others wooed. Jack was the leader everyone needed.

———————————————

Over the past three days, Katherine and Davey had melded into this friendgroup seamslessly. They would roast each other and laugh and exist as a family. Neither were quite sure how they pulled it off. Each now had friendship bracelets from fellow counselors, and likewise made them for others. They had swam in the pool and laughed and sang and, Davey recounted, prayed together. It didn’t make sense how it could all be so perfect.

More than anything else, Jack had instilled the need in Katherine and Davey for a ‘Perfect Cooking Fire’. He knew that, of all things, this would have to be the thing they remember how to do. They built it well, only with a little help from Sarah, as Jack filed paperwork for him mom.

He would do that often. Disappear and reappear like a magician. He knew what needed to be done, and did it before his mother even asked. Davey had tried to offer help, but Jack just took out his reading glasses and said ‘No, no. It’s stuff I gotta do, Dave.”

The final night before campers were here, and all the college kids just wanted to drink in the moment. Race and Spot went to get the food for the “Last Supper” as they called it. Hot dogs, of course.

Davey was relived that Jack came to sit next to him after the food was done. The entire staff was sitting around, laughing and chatting and eating. Jack knew that he needed to talk to Davey, just not with everyone around. David blurted out exactly what was on his mind.

“I really like it here.”

“I’m glad, Dave. You did a great job with the cooking fore, too.”

“Thanks, I thought I wouldn’t. Ya know, in the car that first day, I was convinced that I made a horrible mistake.”

“I’m glad I knocked on your window then.”

“Why’d ya do that? Just to be nice?”

Jack looked around as he grew flustered.

“Can we, talk abou that later?”

“Of course.”

The festivities lasted until “Light’s Out” at 11pm. Medda suggested that everyone should turn in soon, as they would all have to be ready by 8am tomorrow. Race asked her, fishing for laughs, as she walked away-

“What if I just never got to bed, Miss Medda?”

“Then you would be unfit for the job, Mr. Higgins. Get some shut eye!”

The entire fire laughed at her retort.

The gang started to slowly disband. Katherine and Sarah were the last to go, hand in hand, except for Jack and Davey. Davey made a comment.

“God only knows what they’re off to do.”

“God is one lucky son of a gun.”

They both laughed at that.

They both sat there, next to the ashes of a once great fire.

Jack looked around and talked in a low tone.

“Davey.”

“Yeah, Jack.”

“I’m ready to talk about it...”

Davey gulped. This was it. He was going to tell him that it meant nothing that they always say next to each other. That talking until four in the morning wasn’t real. That these past few days weren’t an indication of anything.

“I, whew, that first day you were so nervous. Now look at me...”

Jack’s palms were sweaty and he wiped them on his pants.

“Hey, dude. It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, no I want to. We need to.”

Davey’s stomach turned and he closed his eyes.

“I- shoot. I knocked on your window, because you’s were the prettiest boy I’d ever seen.

Davey opened his eyes and looked at Jack, who was now near tears.

“God, I’m real emotional about this, sorry.”

Jack took a breath and looked Davey in the eyes.

“Just, you’re perfect. And, I know we just met and all, and it’s highly unprofessional to say this but... I really think these three days have been a dream come true.”

“Oh Jack...”

Davey held out one of his hands. Jack took it with his.

“Honest, ya know... I’ve got so many friends and they’re always dating and everything but, you came along and just...”

He put his head on Davey’s shoulder and kept going.

“You’re just really nice and kind and, I don’t know, make me feel a new sorta way.”

Davey couldn’t believe it.

“You, like me, Jack?”

Jack spouted off, sarcastically as ever.

“No, it’s all an act! I caught ya in a gay lie!”

Davey laughed as Jack lifted his head and squeezed Davey’s hand.

“Nah, I do. And, nothing’s gotta happen, tonight or this summer or ever, especially since there’ll be kids and it’s a Christian camp and-“

“Your mom?”

“She doesn’t care. You’ve seen the way some of ‘em hang all over each other.”

“I know that, just wanted to check.”

“Yeah, but- like, God. You’re perfect Davey Jacobs.”

“C-Can I kiss you?”

Davey didn’t mean to say it, but he did. And Jack did. His eyes lit up and he closed the distance. It was warm. Davey had never kissed a boy before. He was certain Jack had, though.

Jack hadn’t. Coming out to himself was one thing, his family and friends was another, but to kiss a boy next to a campfire when you’re about to spend all summer with him? No, he hadn’t. Kissing girls was one thing, but this? With Davey? Was something he could never compare anything to. Jack pulled away for a second, wanting to be frank with him.

“Did you like that?”

“Do that again, Kelly.”

Davey pulled Jack back in. And that’s how they stayed, for a while. Neither could tell if it had been an hour or just a few seconds when they finally pulled away. Davey wanted to be honest.

“I’m not, out-out yet, if that could be an issue.”

“No, nah... and it doesn’t have to, nothing’s gotta come of this, ya know.“

“I know. It’s, it’s nice, though. I want it to.”

Davey leaned on Jack’s shoulder. He was so hesitant, usually. Jack Kelly might’ve been the only boy in the world who could do that to him.

“God, I was so worried I was scarin’ a closeted catholic boy away.”

Davey laughed. Everyone seemed to get that vibe from him.

“One, non-denominational. Everyone gets thrown off by that. Two, you’re not scarin me at all.”

Jack pressed a kiss to Davey’s temple and started to play with his hair.

“This okay?”

“Yeah, this is wonderful.”

They don’t know when they turned in for the night. But, 8am rolled around and camp was in session. Jack came up behind Davey, right before campers were about to enter and spoke calmly, putting his hand into David’s .

“It’s gonna be a good summer, Davey.”

“Yeah, it is, Jack.”

David gave his hand a tight squeeze as Jack walked away to unlock and the door. Upon opening the door, a boy, while looked to be no older than ten, ran to Jack and threw his arms around him.

“Cowboy!”

“Hey there, dude! How are ya?”

Davey smiled and looked at Katherine, who was standing by with the other counselors. He gave her a nod, and that was all they needed.

This summer is going to be great.

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sugarcoated-pain · 6 years

Text

Heavy Rotation-Part Two

Alright guys, I know it’s been a while but I’ve finally finished Part Two of my series, Heavy Rotation.

Best Friends to Lovers (eventually) trope- original character + Ashton

Part One

Warnings: Cussing and drinking. I think that’s about it though.

Another giant thanks to my homegirl @sublimehood for helping again!

“Come on, guys! Just one more game!” I beg, bouncing on the loveseat next to Ashton. I'm sitting cross-legged with my knee against his thigh and he has not moved away. I take small victories where I can get them. In the three months I've lived with these guys, I've started a little game I secretly like to call 'how much can I flirt with Ashton without anybody noticing’.

“No fucking way. Absolutely not.” Calum replies as he abandons his place on the couch next to Georgia to get another beer.

“You kicked our asses FOURTEEN times! Why the hell would we keep playing?” Mikey declares indignantly, tossing the Wii controller on the coffee table.

“Yeah I’m fucking done.” Luke chimes in.

“Don’t be sore losers. It’s very unattractive.” I add condescendingly, eliciting a chuckle from Georgia.

Ashton takes a swig off of his beer before contributing to the conversation, “I’m still playing. I came THIS fucking close to winning last round! But you have to change your character this time. No more ‘Lucky Luigi’. “ he mocks, “and we’re doing Battle Mode.”

“Deal!”

Just as the next round starts, I hear a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it.” Mikey says as he jumps up to answer the door. “Oh. Hey Camille, come on in.” Oh, NOW he moves his leg. Typical.

“Hey babe! What're you doin here?”Ashton asks, pausing the game and standing up to greet her.

“Uh, you said we could go to the club tonight, remember?” She shoots me a glare, potentially having noticed how close he and I were just sitting. I roll my eyes and unpause the game while Ashton is distracted and proceed to kick his ass.

“GODDAMNIT EMMA! You little shit!” He laughs “Come on, not cool!” He shouts, grabbing his Wii controller and pausing it once again. “The club, that's right, “ he adds, hearing Camille's impatient huff as she crosses her arms. “Yeah no problem, let me just get changed. You guys wanna come?” He asks the room at large. To Camille’s clear delight, no one else was interested.

The two of them were gone within fifteen minutes, and it wasn’t long after when Luke and Michael retreated to their rooms. I continue playing Mario Kart with Georgia while Calum rests his feet in her lap, leaning back on the couch and browsing aimlessly on his cell phone.

“BRB.” Cal says, eliciting an eye roll from myself and Georgia, as he gets up and heads down the hall to the bathroom.

No sooner do we hear the door close than Georgia pauses the game and rounds on me. “Alright, spill.” She demands.

“Uh.. you're gonna need to be a little more specific.”

“You and Ashton! Something is definitely happening between the two of you...” Georgia watches me with intrigue as an excited grin passes over her face.

I unpause the game nonchalantly. “I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.”

“Oh come on, Em!” She pauses the game yet again. “I know you better than that by now. You can trust me.”

I sigh, and look around the room to make sure no one else is around. “Okay. Fine. I may or may not have ...slightly more than platonic feelings for him...” Georgia lets out an excited squeal, but I cut her off before she can say anything “BUT. I have no intention of ever acting on this. He has a girlfriend and I am not here for guys. I am here to make music and I'm not letting anybody distract me.”

“Seriously?! 'His girlfriend’ is awful and you know it. He deserves WAY better than her. And what if he feels the same way you do?”

“What if who feels the same way?” Of course Calum walks back into the room at that exact moment. He makes his way back to his spot on the couch, eyeing us both curiously.

“NOBODY!” I shout a little too quickly, glaring at Georgia, who is now wide eyed and holding her hands over her mouth.

He grins mischievously and leans closer to her while watching me curiously. “Nope. I'm not buyin it. I know what I heard. Come on. I'll get it out of her sooner or later so you might as well just tell me…”

Georgia looks like she's about to explode. “UGH fine!” I snap and bury my head in my hands.

“EMMA HAS FEELINGS FOR ASHTON!” she whisper-shouts excitedly, bouncing a little as she says it.

Calum grins. “Excellent! Let's call him and tell him right now. I bet he dumps that dumb bitch on the spot!”

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! He cannot find out! Do you understand me?? Neither one of you can ever speak a word or this!” I demand frantically.

“Emma, he's my best friend. I can't NOT tell him something like this.” He replies, pulling out his cell phone.

I immediately slap it out of his hand and onto the floor. “I'm dead serious. He is currently in a relationship and I, on the other hand, am not looking for a relationship. Ashton can't ever find out. Nobody can. PLEASE. I'm begging you.”

They exchange a look. “Fine, I won't say anything.” Cal replies with a huff, glaring at me angrily as he reaches to pick up his phone.

“But Em, I know you don't really want to be single forever.. don't you ever get lonely?” Georgia asks.

“That's what Tinder is for. I'm not interested in anything more than a one night stand right now, and roommates slash best friends are NOT one night stand material.” I pick my cell phone up off the coffee table and start to get up. “I'm going to bed, but please promise me you will keep this between us?” They both nod.

Once in my room, I plop onto my bed with a deep sigh. Guess I took my little game too far, but no more. It’s time to get serious and stop daydreaming about the guy across the hall. No more flirting. No more touching. It’s music time. I grab my favorite journal that has my best song lyrics written in it, and climb out my window onto the fire escape. In my first week in the apartment, I discovered one of my favorite places in the whole world : our rooftop. With a perfect view of the LA skyline, it is by far the best place in this building for song writing. There isn't a ton of space up there, just room for a couple of people comfortably. I found that out in my second week here when I went up there only to discover I'm not the only one who uses this hideout. Ashton was already sitting there, but he let me join him. And of course, we talked music, cracked stupid jokes, shared a joint, and had deep philosophical conversations for hours- the usual “just friends” stuff, right?

I was glad to know he wouldn't be up there tonight though. I needed my rooftop spot for thinking and writing. With my favorite fuzzy throw blanket around my shoulders, I start writing. All my thoughts and emotions from the day easily flow out of me, through my lucky red gel pen and onto the paper. Lately, my writing has mostly revolved around my feelings for two things: my dramatic change in scenery, and Ashton. I hold it back and fight it off as best as I can in the daylight, but up here alone, I can’t help writing about him. What can I say, he seems to be my muse. After I’m completely drained of words and energy, I head back down the fire escape to go to bed.

The next day starts out the same as any other. Camille stayed over and is walking around in one of Ashton’s shirts and little else, which makes me sick to my stomach so I avoid the kitchen at all costs until it’s time to head downstairs for work. It’s my turn to open the record store. Everybody else will probably wander down whenever they feel like it. Joys of being the newbie.

I go through the opening checklist that the guys made for me, and finally open the doors. It's a Saturday so we will probably be busy later in the day, but nobody is ever here first thing in the morning. I wander around hunting for busy work to do, but eventually end up sitting behind the counter doodling on receipt paper. After a while, Luke comes down to start his shift in the store, and I see that someone has opened up the recording studio.

As one would expect, my obsession with that studio has only grown in the time I've been there. Once Luke gets settled, I casually wander through that heavy purple curtain, under the guise of making sure the trash cans were emptied the night before. Ashton is already helping some random musician nobody has ever heard of record their album. I'm fascinated by everything happening in the room- the buttons, the knobs,the lights, the flawless human being operating them all so effortlessly.

“Oh! Hey Em. I didn't see ya there.” His voice breaks me from my trance.

“Morning.. I'm just .. uh.. just making sure the trash was taken out in here last night…” I reply as I quickly grab the nearest can.

“Bullshit. I watched you empty them last night.” Ashton chuckles. “You're just trying to get close to the board again to see how it works….”

“Yep. That's definitely all I was looking at. You caught me..”

“Well, come on then.” He motions for me to take the chair next to him.

“Seriously?!”

“Yeah. This is a pretty easy client. Good one for you to learn on. Sit down.” I hop over to the empty swivel chair excitedly. Ashton shakes his head with a small laugh at my enthusiasm, and then begins talking through the different steps in the process. I force myself to concentrate on the words he is telling me, and not the way his perfect hazel eyes light up when he talks about something he's really passionate about.

After about thirty minutes, Luke frantically pops his head into the studio. “There you are! Come on, Emma, I’m gettin my ass kicked out here!”

“Oops sorry!” I bounce up quickly to follow him out, before turning back to Ashton. “Hey thanks for showin me this stuff.. It was awesome.”

He smiles. “Anytime.”

My shift goes by in a blur after that. Any moments not involving customers are spent daydreaming about my time with Ashton this morning. That nagging part of my brain that knows he’s off limits tries to stop me, but I can’t help myself. He was so sweet and patient with me today. Since I’ve gotten here, Ash has definitely been the most interested in my music and the most supportive on my path to learn more about the music industry in general. I know by now that this is just the type of guy he is, but there is another part of me that wishes it was more than that.

The guys have band practice scheduled that evening. There’s a small, old warehouse attached to the back of the store that Liz let’s them practice in. They’re pretty good together but their practices are entertaining as hell to sit in on. Georgia and I have started bringing snacks and booze to watch. We even recently made a drinking game out of some of the stuff that regularly happens. I lay out a blanket on the floor for us to sit on and start setting up camp while Georgia playfully feeds popcorn to Calum while he’s getting ready. They’re so cute I could puke.

“Hey G, first shot of the game. Mikey’s late again.” I say as I pour cheap vodka into two dixie cups. Georgia takes hers as she sits down next to me on the blanket.

“Cheers.” she says, holding it out as if to toast. I clank my plastic cup to hers and down it in one quick motion.

Michael finally shows up and practice begins. I pour white wine into two red solo cups for Georgia and I.

Relaxing a bit as they finally start playing, I find a comfortable sitting position and take in the music. They're actually getting better, even in just the few months I've been here. But what I really love about their practices is how passionate they all are about their music, particularly Ashton. The way he moves when playing the drums, the intensity in his face. It's mesmerising.

“I've got an idea for another one..” Georgia says in a low tone with a mischievous grin, leaning closer to me. “YOU have to take a drink every time I catch you checking Ashton out.”

“GODDAMNIT GEORGIA!” It's meant to be a whisper but it comes out as more of a hiss, as I look around frantically making sure nobody else heard her.

She laughs, “Actually, make it a shot this time. You were practically drooling.”

As I pour another shot into my dixie cup, I glare at her. “I hate you.” Georgia laughs again as I throw back my shot.

Practice continues and I make an extra effort not to look at Ashton. This is apparently an impossible task for me at this point. His energy on that drum kit is like a black hole sucking me in. I try to find other things to focus on. I stare at Luke for a while. He’s pretty enough to keep my attention, right?

“OH! Luke touched his hair. Take a drink.” I say. Georgia and I both drink.

“And now Ashton is drumming on something that isn’t his drums. Drink.” Georgia said, smirking in my direction.

“Are you purposely drawing my attention to him drumming on his thighs so I have to drink AGAIN?” I shake my head and take another drink while she laughs at me as the guys start playing their next song. Within a matter of seconds, I realize I don’t recognize it. I’ve been overly familiar with all the covers they usually play, and now know the couple of originals they’ve thrown in but this one is different.

“Is this an original?” I ask Georgia curiously.

“I guess so.” She shrugs.

It’s surprisingly good. I’m actually genuinely enjoying this song. It’s heartfelt and emotional, raw even. It has a different feel than most of the other songs they play, but in a really good way. They stop a couple times during the song to discuss aspects of it, and I can tell they aren’t completely happy with it, particularly Ashton.

“There’s just something about the bridge that didn’t feel right.” He says, tapping his drumstick absentmindedly on his knee, as he often does when he’s thinking. They continue debating it for a couple minutes, struggling to agree with what was missing from the sound.

“For the bridge, what if you switch the vocals only to a minor key, but keep the guitar in major?” I chime in loudly. Everybody stops talking and turns to me.

“What?!” Luke asks, apparently stunned that I would speak up during their sacred practice.

“No that’s actually a REALLY good idea. You up for trying it, Luke?” Ashton asks, with a quick smile at me. I really hope I’m not blushing but I’m almost positive I am. Luke shrugs. They start the bridge over, but this time with Luke singing the lead in a minor key. It sounds a million times better, or maybe I’m biased. Georgia turns to me, completely impressed. They finish the song, and Ashton is beaming at me. The other guys nod their approval, looks of mild shock on their faces. They all thank me and compliment me on the idea.

When they’re all finished, Ashton walks over to me. “That was seriously a genius tip.”

“Ha. Thanks. It was already an excellent song, just needed a little tweak.” I shrug, hoping again I’m not fucking blushing.

“You really like it? That means a lot. I wrote this one.”

“I’m not surprised at all.” I say quickly under my breath.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asks with a curious smirk.

“Never mind.” I answer as I finish packing up our little picnic site to head back upstairs.

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

#heavy rotation #5sos #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5sos fanfiction #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford

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magicianmew · 6 years

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Orphan things, #52846249: Learning fatigue

My grass is really, really long.

I just wired some stuff up kinda wrong, but not so wrong that it doesn't work, so... we're dealing with that later.

I do things like this not because I am lazy, per se. Not even necessarily because of my depression -- I'm doing quite well in the executive function department lately, actually.

But rather, I do things like this because I am fucking tired of learning and my brain can't take anymore.

Recently, I have learned how to drive, change oil, jump a car, rotate tires, use epoxy, jump a motherboard, mend and sew at a better-than-a-punk-teenager-with-a-travel-sewing-kid level, use a laser cutter, build shelves, on and on and on...

Individually, none of these things are a very big deal. For the most part, they're not very difficult things to do.

But that difficulty increases dramatically when you have to teach them to yourself, while under pressure, and all at the same time. Oh, and you also can't screw it up.

This is what life is like every single day when you've lost your support network. Every day is a pressure cooker of involuntarily learning shit that you can't afford to fuck up, and doing it completely on your own with no help or guidance whatsoever.

I am by no means someone who lacks intellectual curiosity. One of my teachers literally wrote, "You are a wealth of useless information" in my yearbook as a teenager. And although my life wasn't great in my teens, I was not an orphan, so all of this "useless information" was simply down to my seemingly insatiable desire to learn things.

And as curious and as eager as I am and have always been, five years into orphanhood, I never want to read anything ever again. Even my high-powered brain is numb from the amount of reading, watching, and tinkering I do, and the incredibly stressful situations I sometimes have to do it under. At a certain point, it doesn't feel like learning anymore. It feels like being trapped in some weird alternate reality where your life is one of those scenes where the guy has to disarm the bomb before it explodes but doesn't know which wire to cut, on repeat, forever.

It is no surprise to me that so many people who lose their family just wind up being homeless because they lose control of their life. It is fucking hard to control all of it on your own, and without the pure luck of being born unusually curious, I honestly think I wouldn’t have made it. My belief in my competence and my ability to slog through shit and still manage to pick it up well enough to stumble through the motions is a saving grace that not everyone has.

I mean, look dude. Having never handled a gun in my life, I had to rely on YouTube to teach me how to disarm a loaded gun in an unknown state of repair on the spot on a shitty hacked wifi connection.

That is what my days are like sometimes.

And ironically, this sort of shit also contributes to why it takes so long to rebuild your network once you've lost it. I mean, it's a long process anyway -- it takes a long time to find the right people. Years, easily, even under ideal circumstances.

But that time is dramatically increased when you're constantly busy doing the work of 10 people. And on the rare occasion you have enough breathing room to socialize, you struggle to convince yourself to invest in anyone because you can't afford the cost if you rely on them to do something, and that turns out to be the wrong choice. Which, let's be real, it usually is. It takes a long time to find the right people. And when you have no safety net, you have no leeway to get hurt by flakes, jerks, and liars. It's safer to just continue doing everything yourself. As taxing as it is, at least you know you'll actually do it.

Today, I have built a table, fixed my cupboard, and taught myself some basic electrical theory to accomplish (badly) a thing I needed done.

And at this point, I am too tired and my brain is too fucked to learn how to use the lawn mower I have, which I know nothing about (no, this is not me fishing for someone to teach me, I do not want to do any thinking right now, I’m just saying).

It is, in the grand scheme of things, a very small thing that I could probably learn in about 5 minutes if I just sat down and did it, and any person with an actual support network probably sees my refusal to learn how to use my lawn mower for over 2 months as simply laziness.

But my dude, I have 100 other more important things I need to learn before this time next week, otherwise my life will fall apart, because there is no one looking out for me except me. The lawn mower always winds up at the bottom of the list, because the potential consequences of my grass being long are so much less than the consequences of all the other stuff higher up on my list. And indeed, the consequences of using the lawn mower incorrectly because my brain is too mushy to do it right are also much greater than the consequences of my grass being long.

I am so tired, mentally, physically, and adrenally, that the idea of taking 5 minutes to learn to use my lawn mower feels like fucking torture.

It is a rare day when I have the energy to actually be who I am: a natural born tinkerer who always has projects on the go. And indeed, I still do. They just get done very, very slowly these days.

Most days, I am too exhausted after having learned all the things I needed to learn to survive today, to have any interest in learning things that might actually be enjoyable.

And this concept, I have found, is one of the biggest chasms of understanding between me and people with family. It is the thing they simply cannot comprehend the reason for. Why don't you just cut your grass?

You gonna help me, bro?

Yeah, didn't think so.

#germ.txt #orphan lyfe #dead parents club #whining like a bitch as usual #but it's been on my mind

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yourjughead · 7 years

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Its a Hard Life

Queen Song Fic Request. Sweet Pea x Reader.

a/n: i struggled with this so much, not sure why, the person who requested it gave me some great songs. My apologies for the wait on this and its not great and its short and im sorry im sorry im sorry.

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Sweet Pea POV

We always want we cant have, i wanted her and couldn't have her. A princess walking among common men, serpent royalty. None of us were worthy of her in her dad's eyes, no one was worthy of her in my eyes either.

“Hey Pea” she joined me at the lunch table shaking me from my thoughts. I was in love with someone untouchable, everything about her. Her smile, her laugh, her humor, her ability to command and care. It's a hard life being in love with an untouchable.

“Hey ynn, whats up?” “Nothing really, except dad has business associates over all the time and they're so loud, Im so tired” she collapsed her head on my shoulder, the world buzzing around us.

“You could always sleep with me” “Excuse me?” she laughed leaning off me.

“I meant in my trailer not with me well…” she bumped me with her shoulder.

“Yeah Pea that would be great, can i come tonight?” i nodded, forcing my face back on my grey lunch trying to force away my grin.

I was like a headless chicken. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me, ynn had been to my trailer plenty of times but not to stay. I was hoovering ((vacuuming etc)) and dusting, rotating cushions, i was a hair away from putting on an apron and baking a pie when yn knocked at my door at 10pm.

“Woah, is this a new trailer or something” she looked around the gleaming trailer as I took her bag from her.

“I just put away the magazines is all...Do you wanna watch a film?” “I’d love to Pea but I’m just fit to fall asleep on your doormat, do you mind?” i shook my head and she proceeded to take her bag back from me and passed me. If only i knew it was this easy all along to get ynn into my bedroom. She emerged soon enough in shorts and a tshirt trotting towards me. Wow.

“Good night pea” she kissed my cheek gently before starting to set the couch as a makeshift bed.

“Oh ynn no no you can sleep in my bed, I’m gonna watch tv and you’ll be more comfortable in a proper bed anyway” she bit her lip before thanking me and heading into my bedroom. I stayed up a little longer watching TV before i set up my little couch bed. Shit i left my phone charger and pillow in the bedroom. As quiet as I, a 6ft2 and a half (the half is very important to me) guy, could I snuck into my own bedroom.

“Pea?” a groggy and gorgeous yn sat up half squinting at the light i leaked into the room.

“Sorry Ynn, go back to sleep” I crept over to grab my pillow and charger before heading for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Umm to bed”

“Your bed is this way” she patted alongside her and it took my mouth a second to catch up with my brain.

“Oh you don't mind?”

“No of course not” she scooched over in my barely a double bed bed and I cautiously slid in next to her and that's how it was for the next week. The both of us tangled in one another completely, it was the best nights of sleep I got in so long and I was just falling deeper for the girl in the bed next to me. Then it went ass ways.

We had just got into the bed….our bed and had crawled into the usual position of tangled when it sounded as if my front door may come of the hinges. I immediately jumped up and pulled on a tracksuit end, trying to persuade yn to stay was near impossible.

“YN!” the familiar brash tone of her father hammering at the door filled the trailer. Shit.

“Good evening sir-”

“Sweet Pea don't give me that shit, where is my daughter!? I know she's here!” I was petrified of this man and both very relieved and saddened to have yn jog past my side, zipping up her sweatshirt.

“I'm here dad what's wrong?!”

“You know what's wrong! Get your things and then get in the car"

“Sir you have to believe me that-”

“-you stay the fuck away from my daughter! You know the rules, she's off limits, who do you think you are?! You're not good enough for her! Your lucky I don't strip you of your jacket right now boy!” He half whispered half shouted when yn had ran to get her stuff. He was fit to kill me but I was feeling brave in this tricky situation.

“I'd do it again sir”

“Excuse me?!” I need to try and mend the broken pieces.

“I'd let your daughter stay with me again if it made her happy and I'm sorry if that disappoints you sir but I really love your daughter” he just stared widely at me, it was a chance I had to take after this man cut my love down to size. YDN just half growled before turning on his heels and heading for the car.

“Bye Pea...sorry I got you in trouble”

“It's okay yn, you're worth it”

“I'm not”

“You really are”

“No, Pea, I'm really not….i think whatever this was or whatever it could have been needs to just...to just not...I'm sorry” tears were brimming in her eyes as her dad blew the horn in the background. She ever so gently kissed my cheek before jogging off.

What a mess?! I slammed the door before completely and utterly destroying my trailer in blind rage until finally, I slid down the bedroom door. I try to fight back tears and I just simply couldn't. I have no one else to blame but myself, I let myself get involved with someone I knew I could never have. I took a chance on getting closer to my love and it blew up in my face and now she's said it's over I'm a mess and I'm falling apart. I took a chance on love and I may have lost her forever.

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Chrissy Xx

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tacticalpain · 6 years

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Tactical Pain Episode 013 Dr. Tom Wullstein PharmD of the Brandon Pharmacy

This week Jeni Mc interviews Dr. Tom Wullstein PharmD of the Brandon Pharmacy. They explore the benefit of open communication and consultation with a good pharmacist. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like “What would you take if you were me?” and “what about affordability?” This episode is packed with lots of very practical tips on how to develop a connection and treatment plan with your friendly neighborhood pharmacist. Brandon Pharmacy http://www.brandonpharmacy.com/about-us/ This episode is sponsored by DiPSy Doodle Productions Voice Talent Dave Holly https://www.dazzleshows.com/dipsy [su_spoiler title="Machine Transcript"] [0:56] What's that you tactical pain podcasts and they. I'm going to be staying down and talking with a real live medical professional about this pharmacy last time we talked about pain management and healthcare we think about doctors and nurses and. Surges in pa is but in actuality in our day-to-day life especially if you're living with any chronic illness. You are probably going to see your neighborhood pharmacist far more often than you're going to see your physician. And your neighborhood pharmacist is going to have a lot of advice and options and opportunities for you to talk with them. And it's no appointment needed and no be preamble of here's why i'm here and what not and i think a lot of the general public and particularly in the chronic pain. Rome we're not taking advantage of that so we're gonna talk today about how to take advantage. Of your pharmacist us and very excited to hear that is dr tom will seniors hi tom how are you great how are you good. So [2:10] You are furnace is in the brain is a code on your pharmacy they do how long have you been in practice for a vehicle when my pharmacy for seven years but before that i worked at a much larger. There are local chain around the area and had. Cool seven was experiences about them so i've been doing it for a while and. You are not just pharmacist's your and dad business owner member of the community of react to things you community. Yes you try to be a good steward of the community is and try to participate as much as i can and i have to two young girls my daughters and. My wife also who is active part of the community so. Coming from the lady said you you work for a larger ten original chain in a larger city and then it. Coming out and everything we have a coming home you open a pharmacy in the town that you living in a smaller demographic and now. What would you say is your personal philosophy about how you deal are on vacations. [3:29] Oh i don't know what the to the actual term they use no like raided my little five week rotation in target they say gas there but we had and is a patient there customer your way. And yeah i receive from a guest when i get there better be cake and appetizers so i expectations of the guest i i like to personally consider myself. Of patients of anybody that is dealing with anything with my health care my medicine and i have. My own perspective about pharmacy and plays with with that in and i think it's it's overlooks the connection you can make with your pharmacist and for any kind of health condition which is what something that you think. [4:21] I guess i wouldn't so we decided to service our pharmacist offer a pharmacist offers but in layman's terms that might be the best way to describe it what are some of the services that patients are overlooking. When they're dealing with a chronic illness and we need to have a management. [4:40] Especially if you have a you know a chronic illness or especially pain everything else lot people will. I think a good thing to do would be to pass a pharmacist like what if your and mike's scenario what would you take. Or if you were going to that's the easiest way for me to ask people questions when they're saying, oh this truck has the side effect and forever to the inter net this is the worst thing ever and i just honestly tell them if it was me i would take it if this was my wife i feel fine taking this this is my mom, yo yes or no you do but i wouldn't let them take it and. To be honest with them cuz you know there's lots of side effects of the drug has side effects of things but you get the actual pharmacist opinion about the personally think rather than just maybe the, oh i know that this one hundred ten glasses this way so you probably prefer this over this to say. If you were me would you wanna take this or do i take something else because they also. Or thinking about prices of health insurance is working things like that so i'm up you get the answer of a medicine that's probably gonna be affordable that also something that's going to work as well. And and with hopefully the least amount of side effects executive with. Chronic pain specifically i'm obviously i picked you because i know that your pharmacy you work with some specific chronic pain patients and pentagon the extra mile for them with compounding and and find some unique. [6:13] Resolutions for them and things like that how do you think. A patient can approach their pharmacist and make it stand out from the crowd how do i if i come in on a new patient in your pharmacy. How do i make you understand i'm not the garden variety drug seeker do that is that is hard because. I had a person could do that specific thing coming in. They said i promise about problem person but they turned out to be a problem so you think about me i never promised to not be a problem. But yeah just you know that you will receive go with the smaller pharmacies because when you're a big pharmacy filling for five hundred prescriptions a day, there that's unfortunate but our professor has become so somewhere sweatshop get get the prescriptions out as fast as possible and there is not time to actually make that human connection. Which is what were the reasons i want to open my own pharmacy so i can have time to sit down or talking to students that are gonna graduate you'll save when you will have the prescriptions could you fill the day. That would be comfortable and also be able to practice pharmacy the right way home prescriptions could you fill a day and still be able to sit down and talk to people and show how to use what would cause meter or talk about drug interactions how many could you fill they do that, and the answer is usually like to maybe a hundred two hundred fifty a day will your average big store. [7:49] Fills five hundred six hundred plus a day so let's there's for furnaces ins and staff which there is not they're being very over worked. So you know if if at all possible i would just find pretty good forms the smaller one usually ones that are independently owned just because i was, any time with any business that you can work directly with the owner that seems like you guys just yes or no because for you only knew anything about it if you are providing service and accurate service. The whole business writing you today to make a fifty year. An ass hat and people will come back to it it's all on you the bread and butter. [8:34] And it and say that the large chain pharmacies or that the pharmacies that are doing um any day if you're if you're. Getting your traditional run-of-the-mill that there some people they don't need medication every single mother or you know they don't they don't need. They're not like me they don't need as much hand holding through a condition and so they serve their purpose the community but yet you feel like you're at the point where. You need to make your pharmacist part of your pain management team then you need to find a pharmacy that has the resources for that and the resources time the exact and and says. Any little bit the resources latitude allowing you to have that face-to-face in a personal connection is. What you think is one of the biggest hurdles locations are freezing right now i know. There's obviously a lot of talk about opioids and things like that would be what do you think. The patients are actually missing because we're distracted by what's in our facebook feed and i are in our twenty four-hour news cycle. Do you think that it's what's happening with insurance or drug availability do you think it's because we're getting pigeon holed into doctors are just for striving the same things. [9:53] Well there's no there's a lot of things proceed with up management that uses is going. The kind of the thing right now is unfortunately specific pain sufferers everyone's terrified to do too much is like. You know that her doctor. You wanna prescribed enough to help someone but you don't over do it because of you to over do it too much then that did not come after yeah. Or the same thing was they making after well with this with pharmacy yearly could one thing you do not want to be like the da office which is. That did not that the thing wrong is just it's a lot of time there for days looking for things so you say specialize in in. Helping people with pain and you were filling a whole bunch of pain meds, for for people who are making yourself a target yes if you're does like you know fifty percent of your prescriptions are for pain things are gonna get office so you can you have to be careful who with that sort of thing. But then it just kind of rude or some an article about how. You sometimes will have to doctors will say yeah i know this is five days earlier today is early but go ahead and fill it any way to the pharmacist would fill it. Well the pharmacist is the determined is liable regardless of what the dr says even if they say go ahead fill it its the pharmacist was partially the pharmacist fall for filling it. So the radley that's five days early do not feel comfortable filament. [11:26] Your you shouldn't have and now that when you're not in a position where you're staying notification because you don't trust or believe the patient but we're bound by. Safety is not being vandalized its is what i can go out of patience realizes if they are needing to fill it early because they are out. If they've been taking more than is prescribed for taking more than is the recommended daily dosage. Then they need to have a discussion not about why the need to convince the pharmacist to fill it early but why didn't last yeah what's. And how do you have to say that without sounding like a drug seeker how can someone approach the pharmacist what should somebody be approaching a pharmacist and saying look this is my first ride. This is the honest truth for when using it and its not getting me to where i need to get. I think people spirit by being honest about how they're taking things they're. [12:31] You're gonna call the cops on them or you're gonna yank their availability to their access to the mets. What's a good what's what's a good way to approach a pharmacist and say i'm gonna tell you straight up front i'm taking this different for fried. I'll be at the meeting i would say is this to be honest cuz i have a person. If i'm i have the chronic pain in my family so i'm very sensitive to that issue and i realize. The whole w you the worst thing that one is the right of drugs on the weekend to run out of your pain is so i understand trying to get filled, if it is earlier few days early every month just so you have a little bit of a stockpile just in case the worst of the worst you have you have a little bit extra there. But it the have you some some person who. Want me to fill something two weeks early and a very bluntly said you need to tell me the one hundred percent truth right now how many pills do you have left. And they flat out lied to me so that i have to do the furthest thing and say okay woman tell every doctor and now i have to show every doctor what you got and filled and when and because now it's not just a. You're pretty severely it's your trying to do something illegal so your your lying about it and what is your role in the community going back to that you try to be a good steward for your whole community in determining. [14:02] Are you a patient that. Is in is in personal travel like the medicine doing what i need to for are you a patient that is dealing this back into my community in an unsafe way. When your that happens last in our region my whole body weight but there are places where that's the thing people are trying to get more more because they are putting it back to the community in a different way. [14:27] Exactly or or just do you need for type of help do you and and that's what i told this person is. I am one with little notice and we need to try to find help so you can come back with a game plan on monday you one if you wanna call me and tell me what your mean have plan is for getting help. And so she she still comes to me and will you be to have her weekly cycle now through the doctors is on a pain contract of things. Yes but yeah that's where the biggest things that changed for me having a crappy person in my life is. Did before it was always hoping that anybody needed anything was turned off for more than just a few days after their dentist appointment. They're obviously you did and now there is trying to screw over the system we're now in i understand people have how important their payments can be to just function on a day-to-day activities so i am. If people are you looking to get something a few days early tomorrow. You may be allowed to one time but i keep track of who both long period of time and. What an i wanna services that people realize that they can ask for and that comes from knowing their pharmacist is like you said you have to wait until you're in trouble to get on a cycle fill. You can you can go to a pharmacist and say. Can we can we set up a calendar and this is my day where i'm incoming get things and we're gonna we're gonna keep track of the days and and then you're gonna know i have my buffer at home cuz i think a lot of us. [16:10] In any chronic condition weathers high blood pressure or diabetes or cholesterol any kind of condition everybody likes to keep their seven day backup plan are for emergencies and there's nothing wrong with that even if your condition is pain. [16:25] But i think that's another thing that's miss with pharmacies is people shouldn't be he should be offended if i can only get a thirty day supply they should. They should want to see their pharmacist every thirty days it is one of the problem. The house i know the pharmacy business works one of the things that we get is. Some fees for insurance company based on how much we do ninety day prescriptions and insurance companies one of the ninety day prescriptions because he that increases the patience compliance. Like that doesn't make any sense just because you give somebody ninety pills i'm either taking it once daily like the rest if that's true just giving three hundred sixty five pills at once and pay one hundred percent compliance for the year guaranteed right in the opposite it should be. Thirty days fills and that way if the person doesn't come in every thirty days of the company coming in thirty five days you can say hey see that you're few days late just miss a couple hours are problem are. What's going on you can have more interaction with people the more interaction the. When was my from cat tried to ask every time or things go news that we have an any problems and he still working for yeah and car few things but it just by that simple interaction. And and i think that. In different conversations are pain patients we talk about the isolation that we start to develop our family does not hear the same story are friends do not understand the story and they definitely. [17:56] Don't wanna talk about the side effects of constipation and vomiting and things like that with me they don't. But you get paid to do that you sign up for that job for so that the isolation factors in a way i can see my doctor every thirty days. But i i could go in monthly and see my pharmacist and touch base about you know what i developed this new thing. And i'm not sure if it's a side effect an adverse effect or you know. Things like better yet and it's and it's also part of that you should have a pool to face-to-face with somebody every thirty days and step out of your isolation. What's what think is on the horizon for. Pharmacy as insurances are changing and is there a lot of people in that field are gonna be facing no insurance coverage for. Mail order covers for you don't you don't ever see from ss your hair to be falling out you could of last night they won't know they're never gonna see you. What what do you think or are some of the things that its those fears how can we. Start to preemptively battle those things. Yeah there's a lot of potential sky is falling things pursue pharmacy and a lot of it is the pharmacist have done to themselves by. In making themselves a commodity rather than a service you know you can go and get the cheapest drugs here and doesn't matter customers you get because you can get the cheapest drugs well. [19:33] They need to change that around get back into the more the service which one of the previous scenes a pharmacy right now is that we're not even medical providers. Like the new characters in dietician and and he was any other profession you can think of is a medical provider and pharmacy doesn't count the ones that mean is it means that we don't get paid for any service from any insurance company. And you're one of the. What kind of things on the horizon hopefully that pharmacist is always for forms to talk about is becoming medical providers and then being able to perform some sort of a service so. You know in pain with one of those perfect ones where you say you going to a pharmacy and if you have a chronic pain problem you going to pharmacy sit down for half an hour and talk to the pharmacist every single month about what's happened to. Where you at where the side effects are having this anything to be be adjusted than know the distance from the pharmacy side of things than that they would. Get paid by the insurance will cover for having this for valentine gift for that time and then you have, up cannot set up a practice with a doctor who can overseas using you say hey what's all this person i think they're doing great we're gonna keep the reader keep on it where you got your good okay the same prescription for this month. And then doors heater having really bad constipation i think we should add this to the mix and that the middle of the. Just wonderful meeting regarding paying you one of the things that was blood pressure or cholesterol whatever but didn't in this scenario pain is the perfect. [21:08] Perfect. Diagnosis to do that because very hands on how are you doing from a month to month basis and made a lot of adjustments were as blood pressure you know you may not be but just minerals right away. Yeah there's a lot of pain there's a lot of the weather affects you and the holidays and stress and. And all those things that can affect other conditions your diet your activity level things like that. [21:37] I kind of i can ask prior to recording if you are comfortable if there is anything that was a no go topic and. One of the things that you said it was okay to talk about we are again recording in south dakota but what about alternative. Medical their fees how do you feel about patients who are taking a non prescription items. In addition to their prescription items what is a good way for them to use the pharmacist need to know if i'm taking herbal supplements if i am taking anything and adjusting in my body to treat my pain. And. What's a good way for people to especially chronic pain is a lot of shame and alot of hiding if you're not doing anything wrong even if you just like our every single day i drink sixteen ounces of green tea. That's something that actually a pharmacist might wanna point out and say well. Did you know the best thing your bladder did you know that that's. Maybe contributing to headaches that's happy in whatever whatever it is how how do you think people can overcome the shame and be honest about what they're additionally ingesting after. Well the first one back when taking to say you with him your terms and everything you're probably the more. Common scenario now is going to be insurance companies forcing people to do mail order except for pain medicine so you can be getting lots of stuff through mail order but then have to get your. [23:14] Pain meds are other had a more immediate meds through a local pharmacy and then they're gonna have zero idea what your taking elsewhere so you don't bring it up to them in they might ask. For the most part they're not gonna know what you're taking so great you that's a scenario that you should let them know all the other stuff you're getting to me in order to, he's a pharmacist year you're only as good as the information your giving if i don't tell you i have a drug allergy if i don't tell you i get medication for multiple pharmacies, and not just met drug seeker abel eighty seven eighty and getting my blood pressure medication for mail order and i'm coming to you for my after all your. [23:51] Exactly and your system can check for those interactions and you can check for those interactions because they're you don't have that knowledge. Exactly so that's just one of the things to if that's not really your and you might wanna just bring that up your arses especially time for something new so i just need to show on him on these things to any problem that you see. But no for the other things them as they probably are. Specifically mentioning like maybe your water will which will i think there is that but also even just. The wide variety of supplements and things out there i think i think people are sometimes embarrassed of what they try or there's there's the shame factor and i do think yes there are people that live here in south dakota and you're using marijuana modestly. [24:41] You are working outside of the law yeah that is the that is one of the most unfortunate gray areas yes we can. At the end of the board of pharmacy celica testified against. Medical cannabis and i was like we should be on the opposite end of this we should be taping this we should be saying hey we will we want it to be an option and we want to be at the forefront of this because. There be no better way of helping people. Can incorporate that into their there they're medications than a pharmacist and say okay we're gonna start if you're gonna start taking medical cannabis that how about you, maybe just at night started just at night and don't take your of your pain pills at night and or go take a muscle relaxer don't take your sleeping pill. What if we can replace that with this and that they have a pharmacist really say. Because your doing this new medication you don't need to take all these other pain meds to help with a goal in mind of where we want to doubt cut back by fifty percent of the pain meds you're taking but introducing us. I think with supplements and marijuana and even just for layering on medication that he had on a really good point there. A lot of times especially when people are being up front about everything are taking they are not replacing a dose of something else there taking it in addition to exactly when it when. [26:14] Ideally it should be taken instead of. Some some doses or as a not everything is nadia something's or replacement. There's other things to where i can see it no medicine or something and keep taking your for those that but if you if you wanna try the other will thing on top of it. Depending on what it is you know that you don't they don't replace that but there so others can you don't know you have to replace amen at honest with their practice. And that's and that's where you just have to find a pharmacist i don't know maybe quiz he just but find one that you trust to. It right down the pharmacist is going to call the police on you and that you said that your mean they should you said that you were trying to. See you walking in indian lake so i'm gonna be available guys in my truck. That any in your parking lot right now but that but that i have. [27:20] And do you think that maybe that isn't elements of the smaller pharmacy setting, you're less likely to be surrounded by a crowd of other on workers you may be less of a judge mental environment may be more able to build that personal relationship where you can be honest about what you. Have or want to try or are doing. Because you do you can develop that relationship where they know who you are there if. He's gonna locally i've been on a couple of. Things have ps whatever bone but the medical cannabis in the city of people saw me on there i had a lot of money my patience like ask me but do you think that would help me and how do you think. [28:05] What is the public to get this going to away incorporate this sleep well we can't now we want to take a weekend to colorado and tested out just don't take. The drugs were doing it but we still know if it works for your right there are places that are. Reasonably accessible for people locally to even drive to where go visit and they will they will be motivated to try those things and so somebody is. Even just like i think snowbirds to go to mexico for the winter and by other meds in mexico for the year. There's nothing wrong with being on it you're not doing anything illegal if you go to colorado and smoke a joint. You are you are within the laws of that state and more power to colorado and we go. So they should maybe seen other pharmacies hey i don't i have the opportunity i think i might try this that was was remote for the medicine table of the that's a great point of absolute. So so yeah even even just. [29:10] Again if it's nothing if you're not doing anything illegal where your going because were interested in knowing up to anything illegal if you're if you're gonna go somewhere to try this is nothing to be ashamed of. It is being honest about it in and i think that that's that's the thing people forget sometimes even more than and doctors. Because first she use often in a year or family my doctor just sees me when i go in for appointments for you see if i come in every my grandma long and my kids and you you have to sit next year. Patients are customers at the baseball game or whatever. You seen them in their life seven years you see what i'm just there shopping for diapers and make up and whatever and if i'm. [29:59] You know you're going to see me on a real life faces and i think that that is more impactful. If i sit down and say ray my tax but me on this drug and fucked up all the now. Where are you going tonight i only have twenty minutes of my doctor once every ninety days i don't have time to tell them what i'm fucked up about sometimes. [30:22] Yeah pharmacists are. One of the most under utilized best resources that are in madison either the most easily accessible healthcare professional up. Make a phone call and you can have on the phone you can you can just call doctors and talk to the doctor it's usually several different phone calls and messages and. Given a chiropractor goes through the answer in the same section as i am getting a pharmacist you can get on the phone immediately or you can walk in and see what immediately. And it's just unfortunate how underutilized we are as a profession and under. Reimbursed for it to like when i'm when i'm paying so much for my health insurance and prescription coverage is. [31:13] In a way i'm getting cheated by my answer because they're paying for me to have the pills but there not paying for me to get the education about them and. [31:23] That's one of the interesting things about services you're gonna give the education even if you're not getting paid to have when yesterday they serve the students were was. New blood pressure medicine that a person has been on and the total reimbursement was forty cents and i said okay so for this forty cents we're gonna get from the. The drug a bottle of credit card charges of bribery sit down and tell them how this affects the body and keeps them alive and that if we were to do something wrong or something where to happen we may get sued for it but that's what. Bro that was the last forty cents here's your forties and. And and we just have to hope that they don't pay us the canadian border. Cuz then we made even last ten weeks of work when you said when. When small town pharmacist say Apple pay they mean in Africa, or the delicious one can i make a pirate. [32:33] What think like you said you you have dealt with in your personal life family members that have chronic pain. [32:40] And you're pretty open with new years in pharmacy from before that happened and now that it's part of your life that is change your perspective about. Pain patients group how would you describe your perspective before will it work is it really was a lot of if they come in and. If you heard the word five ml which and have no and full disclosure tom and i have known each other. The duration of your pharmacy career there's a form if you are there before so so tom has what year did you graduate. Two thousand six but it worked there for five years or so so anytime and i'm mad i had already been sick for several years but the first decade i was already ten years into, having federal how's it been diagnosed so when. When you talk about five miles them in the beginning of your career. That that was just the buzz word meaning of somebody's looking for pain meds because they don't have to prove that has any pain they can just do whatever they want my things paper browser it's like. You start yet i start getting. The numbers you only remember the bad the bad people so even though there's probably for every one bad there's there's ten your normal uber the balance of. [34:14] That everybody who has ever mouses is a seeker and after a while it was like i don't like the way but will my pharmacy career to be like us going to was some other happen you so. No You said you probably had for everyone patient that's what i have to have it i have five miles i'm in so much pain you might of had ten other patients that never even told you that was their diagnosis and they just had a better management plan. And they wanna parents you that that's what they were dealing with executive. Yes really and i know there's a pharmacist that have that same sort of emptiness where. People looking for pain meds that they disconnected in their minds that there that looking for pain meds they're all addicted they're all trying to use the system are there also industry to start it you start, feeling that way but that's that's just unfortunate that that happens. That is not on your side everybody i think it's the captain's on the day that's all i absolutely nothing as a patient. I try and it be aware of my own behavior. Which again i have tried to get past the idea of being ashamed that i have a pain condition but i don't have any shame for worry or taking care of myself. But i do try to be aware of high present myself and as a pain patient so now if you that you've experienced watching someone it. [35:45] Goes through chronic pain and and kinda come to terms of living with it. [35:53] How do you feel now when do you think you feel more. [36:00] There's a big difference between feeling sympathetic i don't like people feeling sorry for me but a pathetic feeling like they understand is different. Do you ever feel sorry for people because you realize that up until the debt with you they probably were doing people that other crazy. Yeah i completely get that i mean that's. [36:22] I have a lot of customers who think they they've feel that i'm i don't see them differently than what they had the past and they really appreciate it so glad that. I'm mike mother had to have that perspective forced on you i'm glad i have the new perspective on the will have a better way of. Of helping my customers how do you teach students to navigated one of the same as my students always have. Is that have to interview somebody and look at their med list and that come up with ideas on how to help them and i usually always have them use my wife so that they can hear her. Story of for. Her life experiences her health experience and and then because behind closed doors that she can be honest with you if they were stupid and like maybe maybe they were. Book smart but not for smart street smart of those usb with a vizio the the whole different rainbow of. Of students that are still coming through but which ones should the end of in the basement somewhere who should actually be out there talking to people but the train to teach the new class what. [37:49] That. Don't don't be scared about he pain or people with pain as is your right busy right now that's that's more pathetic be to understand that this is a real thing that people have the need the need help there looking for your help. They're begging for your help so just be the ready for any be willing to. Be as we said part of that management team and management plan. How do you not for the patience when it comes to what it what if you see a patient that is. Feeling too often order or you talk to them you know that there. [38:32] Not taking their vacations correctly whether or not is because it's not working or or maybe they are starting to slip into where. [38:42] They are not having pain management but there is starting to experience addiction affects. How do you advocate for them as you can see it before the doctor that you will i see them filling no spaces filled little too often for my liking. Um Seoul now i think every state or something called a prescription drug monitoring program which is pretty controlled substance abuse automatically reported to the state and then you're concerned the pharmacist can look it up. And see if your feelings things that other pharmacies with other doctors and you're just gonna make sure the people aren't. Buying do not running insurance are going by schedules or having a behavior yes so that's also can good tool for. Make sure people know that. You're being watched so you can i need to i usually go in and tell her okay with this i realize you feel this early the last three months and a row and i just wanna where we just we have to. Do you have a few extra pills and stockton understand why but we need to get this now on a monthly schedule you can do this anymore every single month. And then i usually make a note that if they come in and say they're going on vacation of the five days early but also and that's final two five is early next month we're gonna do it five days late. Because you already have a stock pile and we have to get back on to the thirty days have so. [40:12] So you know i just try to make sure i get my mom out so that i can like i can see that you're going early and i can show you that you clearly and you understand and i we both understand why you're doing it but. [40:25] What's just get onto a good schedule now and not so neither one of us afterwards i think it's hard too because there there is no. There are so few diagnostics for pain weather is in the clinical setting or even in your home and you can take your blood pressure and blood pressure monitor at home everyday you can. Check your blood glucose on machine everyday i can't tell you today. [40:52] How much pain i'm gonna be in i can't determine what's gonna come at me that can alter it and i have no way of. [41:02] Want to find my pain level to you. [41:06] If i am having so many times and it says i feel like my blood pressure medication isn't cutting it has my one pressure still up everyday they don't often starts then. Choosing to take your blood pressure medication three or four times a day and hope that it works they will come in and say i don't think it's working what do i need to do the rest with pain. Sometimes we don't know is it just a worse day to day or is it not working and so we do a lot of self regulating in testing on our where our own unique aids. How do you think pieces were crying pain is their primary illness can benefit from. A closer relationship with their pharmacist you recommend things like i really talk about on the podcast before but like. Specially packaging and things like. Like you said this is a monthly and this is your pick up day and we're gonna go over your count of what you have. [42:06] How how do you think they can overcome it i think the day of your being limited yeah exactly. The of your being that is way of putting it to just wake up one morning and not have. Anything that have the medications i have any support or anything would be a horrible thing so i can see out of here is something that those in the back of my mind. But yeah there there are the special take the packaging up there to. That's kinda like the seven days till packs but except for the people will come together for you there are several places that will do that this in this area for for no charge. [42:54] You know one of the things that we haven't really discussed that we just gonna recently had. As a had a patient who got a genetic test done. And they came in and showed me the results for the genetic test and it was unbelievable that that is not. Required for every person was on any medication it is i look to that and just thought. How much time that was a hurry have these things white down don't waste your time with for everything for every ameen first and drugs in for cholesterol or the closer, but for like antidepressants especially bills are all just gas but you just throw mass something and the new gas avenue try something different with this person had like. Ten the back home and the only thing that they were really supposed to take with the telegram will that got them out of in the fifth one on the list before we got that. And i don't know how much genetic testing cost but it seems like it should be a requirement for any heat as soon as they if they're prescribed any drugs automatically have happened on the eighteenth birthday, congratulations to go the genetic testing i think that, definitely in the pattern and if so retarded patiently through that the went through that in the hopes of clearing up some of their. Chronic pain issues and. Yeah hindsight is twenty twenty they look dead for years we did that and how much time and money was wasted on those doctor visits in those medications and what ever that testing would cost probably would've saved a lot of. [44:35] Dollars over time and heartache what would you think. As where can i come in sir wrapping up our time here we think is that the key piece of advice. A pharmacist to give it a chronic pain patient will is the best face is find yourself a good pharmacist you you can have a good relationship with me that's. That's the main thing if. Yes you can ask me some questions telling your story see what they think about you or your situation not tell me have five mouser and see if they roll their eyes or their like oh i have a friend who has that and i understand that believe you can probably figure out what, a person thinks about that pretty quickly. Another advantage to community pharmacist it is face to face it's not over a making walking and watch how you react to me the absolute. [45:30] There's there's no with container insurance allowing it but there's a lot of choices and most areas. Those of different pharmacies and pharmacists and is just a job interview go and you need to pick the first one that you come across to go find one you like that is not even about. It's not about the chain is not only walgreens or walmart or anything like that it's about the individual pharmacist that i work at walgreens i would still be the right pharmacist going talk to because. Of my personal persons actions. But you know you have worst both of our business that was between some work at my store you wouldn't wanna come there either so. It doesn't matter i can say to go to this particular place but find a good pharmacist but usually it's gonna be that kinda less busy place local further have time but do go go interview if you forgot when you like the best. And without mine was they find one that they like the best. [46:35] I think from a patient perspective in from both sides of the counter per se don't. Don't be ashamed and and try to be honest we don't don't be afraid of what you're about to tell this person you have. I live do not ever tell pharmacist that you flushed your pills exeter accidently, tractor pulls the trigger and no one believes your grandma's cat has diabetes and they just all they just don't believe it bring me, as it is like in first dealer bring your dead grandma don't don't tell a story that's been told a thousand times. At least be more which is your promises day with your honesty and goodness around us, we can be friends hospital know what to do with that will come back tomorrow so i pulled my converting. Why thank you for sitting down and talking with me just kind of because people to do that people get to sit down and just talk with. [47:40] Professionals of all kinds about this stupid questions the had her i get you to believe me which is a big thing in chronic pain. Please believe me please believe me and i'll be interested in your not recording is tom wendy start believe me that i wasn't crazy because i don't think it's happened yet we'll see. But i do i do thank you and again tell us the name of your pharmacy, brandon pharmacy brandon pharmacy so creative so the doctor to holstein farm do i should i should explain to people what is a farm the. The doctor pharmacy so little bit more training than. [48:27] These to be just registered pharmacist and now it's that everybody that's graduating the doctor pharmacies. And her sister now i know it here is the code it's happening more and more it is a lot more clinical things that your allowed to do backs nations. Depending on where you work is it that the va at her progress about a pharmacist do a lot of work for testing and things like that and and kind of changing people's drugs around. [48:56] So there were hoping that's kind of the future of our message because the teacher from this is just to get insurance reimbursement on drugs as i can it. Turn out well for us greatest range and and one thing that we didn't really touch on but for anybody. Can you just give a brief overview of what and and t ennis medication thirty minutes basically. You do a comprehensive look at all the medicine your can just sit down look at everything i know there's also drug interaction so you figure out. He's to make you tired are you having that are these can be taking the different types of the day just maximizing their your and figure out what's best for us so. That's a good to have that done especially if your on multiple medications and that's for people of any age and any health condition that was coming and ask the pharmacist about and tm and it, there's some patience especially over certain ages western insurance plans that is something that sometimes your insurance plan will will pay for the cost of. Really a full-scale and team visit with your pharmacist where were you do make an appointment and you do bring in everything and. I think that would definitely be a good place for a lot of people to start once you when you interview those forests and pick the one you like is there a. Let's let's sit down and go through what i've got here in figure it out so. Definitely all the things going and ask about and if you are looking for a pharmacy or a pharmacist to start with. [50:29] Tom will seen back to town sushi for the final months later the you have to be a vikings fan and where. If you have to be to say that you are not satisfied busy and i made a good place to start he may be a good first interview for you so. Thanks town have a good day the drove. [/su_spoiler]

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