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[nazirapohan]

April 18, 2019

Dear Friend,

I’m happy to be writing to you again.

I don’t know where to start, but I am Alice coming out of the rabbit hole for the first time in 3 months.

I finally understand what it feels like to recover by being in a new environment which is a quiet place in a nearby city. 

I’m in love that cars rarely pass by and there’s a walking distance 7-eleven that’s not too crowded, and I buy my cigarettes there. 

There’s also a small church nearby and a Starbucks which I found pretty cool but I rarely go to church, and I thought “Hey, maybe I can write at Starbucks…” but then I’m a creature of solitude. I might as well just be distracted with thoughts that people are looking and talking about me if I hear a laugh or people making loud noises which is not true, but that’s kind of a thing I guess when a person hasn’t been out in the real world for a few months. 

I finished the memoir “Reasons to Stay Alive” by Matt Haig, and I truly loved it, and it inspired me a lot to stay alive. Haha. (I don’t know how else to put it) and I think it inspired me creatively as well because it gave me some really meaningful insights and the thing I admire about the book is that it’s very easy to read. 

But maybe that’s because I absorb books more easily when I am sad.

                                                                                                     Still Fighting,

                                                                                                                Jay 💙

[nazirapohan]

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