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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 288: ZOOM AND ENHANCE

Previously on BnHA: Tomura, AFO, Deku, and Nana all met up inside of OFA and were all, “wow this is awkward.” AFO talked a whole bunch about vestiges before realizing that nobody cared (EXCEPT FOR ME. I CARED!!), and was then all “anyway so just to get everyone up to speed here, Tomura is Nana’s grandson.” OFA appeared and was all “what up bro I see you’re still a dick”, and then everyone stood around for a bit waging psychokinetic war on each other and blowing up on the ground and shit. This didn’t really accomplish anything, so AFO shifted gears and started trash talking Deku instead, because he’s a whiny little punkass loser who can’t admit when his brother has gotten the best of him yet again! OFA was all “anyways Deku rules and haters gonna hate, peace”, and then everyone wooshed back out of OFA and back into the real world, Deku with his quirk still intact. Meanwhile Gigantomachia and the LoV stampeded ever closer to the city, and Toga started monologuing in preparation for a seemingly inevitable battle with Ochako! And then the chapter basically just ended there lol.

Today on BnHA: Imagine you are Uraraka Ochako. And you’re out here doing what you do best, saving bitches and being a badass, when all of a sudden some old lady runs up to you and is all “PLEASE HELP ME, MY HUSBAND IS ASLEEP OR SOME SHIT, YOU KNOW US OLD PEOPLE, WE’RE SO FUCKING FEEBLE AND HAPLESS.” And so you’re all “OF COURSE” because you’re a good fucking person, and then she speeds off like she’s got fucking wheels and it’s like damn, grandma, were you in varsity track or what, and then OUT OF NOWHERE she just spontaneously turns into HIMIKO FUCKING TOGA. And she’s all naked and shit, and it’s like damn, Toga, where are your clothes, and she just giggles and ducks into a nearby building. And so you follow her for god knows what reason, and she fucking pounces on you and starts interrogating you in like the most seductive way possible, and you’re all wtf is this. Like, can you even imagine. Anyway so Ochako is having quite a day.

okay lol so I’ve gotta kind of rush through this since I’ve got other stuff I need to wrap up today as well, so! fingers crossed that we get a nice, simple chapter with no controversies or elaborate revelations or anything like that! just give me lots of stuff to mindlessly keysmash about, Horikoshi. I’m counting on you bro

lol what

an actual fucking plane?? is that allowed?? how bizarrely normal. are we sure this plane does not shoot lasers or something or is powered by someone with like a fusion reactor quirk idk

and who tf is Takeo-san. some random guy Horikoshi is suddenly introducing after 300 chapters to come save everyone at the last minute? pretty sus. Horikoshi is this your self insert

GASP

NO WAY THIS IS ALL MIGHT, RIGHT?? holy shit I swear to god if it’s All Might this lady needs to TURN THE FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW. stop at McDonalds, order a black coffee for herself and only herself, and drive the rest of the way back home without so much as a bathroom break. there are certain prophecies which we don’t need to be tempting right now, okay people?? holy shit

(ETA: OR, here’s a thought, WHAT IF IT’S BEST JEANIST. hope springs eternal lmao. anyways though surely it’s not actually All Might. he can’t die yet, he’s got like 5 million secret things he needs to explain to Deku, and also Kacchan is unconscious and he can’t just SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL MIGHT’S DEATH like come on.)

oh look more heroes all lining up to be slaughtered by Machia

real talk, at this point their priority should just be evacuating any citizens in Machia’s path, and then getting the fuck out of his way. none of them stand a chance in hell at stopping him and they know it. the body count is already high enough as it is. regroup and live to fight another day, people

anyway, so Machia is apparently plowing through cities at 100km per hour. that... actually might not be fast enough. Gunga and Jakku were 80km apart, so at that rate it would take him nearly an hour to reach Tomura. that fight’s gonna be long done by the time they get there. huh

okay these guys are saying he’s going to reach them in about 8 minutes. ?? so are you telling me Tomura and Deku and the rest have been fighting for like 40 minutes already?? lmao Gran probably bled to death half an hour ago at this rate. Horikoshi please explain yourself. some of us spent our entire childhoods doodling comics instead of paying attention in math and science AND IT SHOWS

anyway so this is all very bad and this guy is really rubbing it in just how bad it is

I mean... yeah. obviously the villains are still to blame at the core of it all, but yeah. feels like you all could have planned a hell of a lot better for this. you knew there was the risk of Tomura waking up, and you knew there was also the risk of Gigantomachia waking up as well. and you pretty much had no contingency plan at all huh. society is really gonna be in shambles after this

lmao look at this shit. Machia is so big at this point that it looks like they’re having a picnic in the middle of some desert somewhere. at what point does it cease being a guy’s back and start being its own zip code

even has its own wifi. amazing

oh shit Compress apparently spotted someone and he’s asking Skeptic to “zoom and enhance” like it’s CS fucking I. that’s not how it works Compress you fucking boomer

anyway so OF COURSE,

was there a reason you needed to zoom in on them, other than to trigger Toga?? some people just want to watch the world burn

so Toga is now GEARIN’ UP!!

that honestly is so fucking handy. over at U.A. they have to carry their gear in briefcases like scrubs. does Compress actually have the best quirk in the world?? it flies under the radar so well that I always forget about it, but like WHAT CAN’T IT DO though, y’know??

WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN MY DUDE

“oh hey is that the U.A. kids? Skeptic could you please zoom in on them for absolutely no reason? OH MY GOD TOGA IS RUNNING OFF TO FIGHT THEM, OH MY GOD WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN, OH MY GOD”

now he’s all “DABI PLEASE DO SOMETHING” but Dabi is all “DABI DON’T CARE”

Dabi don’t care about NOTHING OR NO ONE!! Dabi don’t got time for this

lmao I literally forgot that Spinner was even there, shit

so are you gonna go with her then or not? because I got news for you dude, it doesn’t matter how heartwarming your speech is, nothing can stop this girl now that she’s gone full distracted boyfriend meme

AW BUT IT REALLY IS HEARTWARMING THOUGH

Spinner is the glue keeping this dysfunctional Addams family together honestly. too bad he couldn’t stop Compress from OPENING HIS BIG DUMB MOUTH ah well

lmao but he’s letting her go anyway though

Spinner for new LoV President. all in favor??

ANYWAYS LOL THIS IS BAD

“ACCELERATE EVACUATIONS” LOL WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OCHAKO HE’S MOVING AT 100KM AN HOUR AND HE’S LIKE FUCKING GODZILLA SIZED FKJLK

“PLEASE RUN OUTSIDE OF THE VILLAIN’S PERIPHERY” well thank fucking god the people have you guys to guide them what would they even do without you lklkhlkds

NO HORIKOSHI DON’T YOU DARE

IF YOU HURT MY GIRL FROPPY I SWEAR TO GOD!! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BRIGAND

OH THANK GOD

“sorry for SAVING YOUR LIFE” smh. anyway so how fucking badass is Ochako though?? can we just talk about this. THE GIRL POWER ARC STRIKES AGAIN hot damn

(ETA: and btw, seeing as Iida is nowhere to be found, I’d say odds are pretty good that they did in fact send him to go warn the Endeavorsquad of Gigantomachia’s imminent arrival. godspeed Iida! they need all the help they can get right now honestly.)

EXCUSE ME BUT ARE YOU TOGA

IS THIS TOGA. THIS IS DEFINITELY TOGA OMG

“I IMMEDIATELY TRUST YOU AND I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH” noooo Ochako nooooo

damn Toga you really drained some poor old lady’s blood just so you could pull this kind of sneaky shit. I forgot how much I loved you

ohhhh lol so it’s her “husband” that is Takeo-san lol

THE BETTER TO LURE YOU INTO A TRAP MY DEAR

lmao Ochako you rube

now you’ve done it Toga. there is nothing Ochako loves more than a good old fashioned Old People Romance. DID YOU KNOW SHE HAS SEEN THE NOTEBOOK LIKE FIFTY TIMES. AND NO MATTER WHAT, IT ALWAYS GETS HER AT THE END. meanwhile I just want to watch a movie where James Marsden actually gets the girl for once but we all know that will never happen

OH MY

ngl this page would be like a thousand times better if Ochako was still blushing omg. did I ship this before?? I honestly can’t remember but I sure as fuck ship it now goddammit

(ETA: pretty sure I shipped it back during the Forest arc too but I don’t have time to check right now lol. but Toga is just so horny on main for everyone, all the time, and so like, it’s hard not to ship it.)

so now Toga is running off all flirtatiously and Ochako is barreling after her lol

plot twist, Takeo-san is actually in there. and he has NO IDEA what’s going on. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIFE. WHY IS THERE A GIANT MOLE MAN BURROWING THROUGH THE CITY

Ochako why on earth would you follow Toga into this dark creepy house where she could spring at you from any angle out of nowhere. just go back outside and float up over it until you have a high enough vantage point to see all the exits and just wait for her to come out

Toga says she wanted to talk to Tsuyu-chan as well, but let’s be real, you and her don’t have the same kind of electrically charged kismesis energy that you’ve got going on with Ochako though

LMAO DEKU NOWHERE IS SAFE

getting dragged like a fucking wedding train and he’s not even there to defend himself, shit

blah blah blah just ask her your question already Toga

MY WORD

would someone please inform Toga that this manga is only rated PG-13

so now Ochako is all “seriously Toga wtf”

you see that’s what I wanted to know too, lol. I really like that the characters actually think about these things and ask these kind of questions. that’s exactly the contrast between the heroes and the villains right there. the villains care about each other, they’ll give each other heartwarming speeches to please come back alive, and yet they’re utterly indifferent to the thousands of people being killed as they demolish their way through city after city. meanwhile by contrast Ochako’s first thought upon being erotically waylaid by her sexy knife-wielding archnemesis is “but what about that poor old lady is she all right.” just completely opposite energies, almost to a hilarious degree. like maybe Ochako actually should worry about herself just a little bit more lol but heroes gonna hero

and so now what, Toga!! you’re gonna pout about it?? like she’s betrayed you somehow?

anyway so that’s the end of the chapter! and I’ll just come right out and say that I’m hoping that this fight ends up being something where Toga maybe starts to see things just a little bit more from Ochako’s point of view, and not the other way around, because otherwise I’ll be a little frustrated, ngl. the manga has done an excellent job of making the villains likeable and relatable and getting us to sympathize with them up till this point, but at some point it’s got to start refuting some of these arguments and making it clear that the villains do not actually have any kind of moral high ground here

and also! I really like Toga and would like her to have some kind of redemption arc! but as of now that’s looking to be really difficult if not impossible to pull off, because Toga hasn’t exactly shown a whole lot of remorse for anything she’s done so far, you know? because she doesn’t see it as bad in any way; to her it’s just her way of expressing love, and being true to who she is. but being true to yourself really should NOT involve, you know, MURDER, and so yeah. it’s a problem lmao

but who knows! maybe this battle with Ochako will be the start of something which eventually leads to some sort of change within her! I have absolutely no idea how that could play out tbh, but even so I can hope! either that or she will double down on the whole “villains are victims and heroes are apathetic cruel hypocrites” ideology and decide she wants to kill Ochako and Izuku for breaking her heart, in which case I will be very sad, but I guess if that’s the way Horikoshi’s gonna play it it is what it is!

and lastly, so is this going to be like the final battle between them or something?? surely not, right? like this is just round 2 of 3. well at any rate, it’s sure going to be interesting

#bnha 288 #himiko toga #uraraka ochako #asui tsuyu #mr. compress #league of villains #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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kadywicker · 4 years ago

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Hi! Im same anon from few weeks ago thanking you for getting me into the magicians bc dopamine etc and rn Im watching s4 (near end but im rationing it. kinda) but i dont really filter spoilers so Ive seen stuff from s5 and I have to say... every single thing I read/see sounds like a fever dream and not even a fun one. What is going on? I'm not sure i want to know.

oh my god it’s miserable man i’m so sorry. s5 is..... so bad fasdfasdf i avoided watching it for a year bc i didn’t want to waste my energy trying to p*rate it. but i watched it last weekend and let me tell u..... not worth it! there’s a couple episodes that are like? okay? i guess? but mostly it’s just. terrible writing. sexism. homophobia. nonsensical plots. bad writing. more shitty writing. like. there’s some spoilers below so don’t click if u dont want spoilers but in case u want to know what’s going on (warning for spoilers and a huge wall of text):

there’s too much magic now so spells are going off the shits bc there’s so much magic. there’s a harmonic convergence coming up which will make magic go even MORE wild. a pig man from fillory shows up saying there’s going to be an apocalypse and he needs quentin to help. julia says oh shit sorry quentin’s dead but i can do it but the pig man says only STRONG MEN can do it so he fucks off to try and go find a man for the quest. julia decides to stop the apocalypse anyway, which she thinks is the harmonic convergence. so much fucking shit happens long story short they end up DESTROYING THE MOON. they crack the moon like an egg and eliot and margo get trapped in a timeloop caused by sentient whales practicing magic to keep the kraken at bay. margo gets out of the time loop leaving eliot who figures out what to do! and sends himself back in time to stop the moon from cracking. yay world saved. MEANWHILE IN FILLORY eliot and margo were thrown 300 years into fillorys future where the dark king rules. he’s got? fucking zombies or some shit hes “fighting”? i dont know i wasnt sober for half of this season. they’re hunting fairies. eliot talks about quentin in one (1) episode and cries a little before sending quentin a letter in the underworld. earlier in the episode he tried to fuck the dark king. after that he does not bring up quentin a single other time bc gay men do not get to have compelling love stories and he spends the rest of the season mooning after the dark king he met for 3 seconds before deciding actually HES the love of his life, not quentin. fen and josh are dead in the past and margo and eliot change the timeline like three times to save fen and josh! wow yay! also they can’t save quentin bc changing the timeline would be bad and disrespectful :( they can save fen and josh by altering the timeline though! at one point alice tries to make a golem of quentin to answer some questions about a page in a weird language she found in his desk but she brings back child quentin instead and he dies so it’s whatever. after the moon shit, they’re trying to find this seed that’s depicted on that page of quentin’s bc it’s the World Seed and can create whole new worlds! which is convenient bc turns out that apocalypse was NOT the apocalypse on earth but an apocalypse on fillory they think the dark king is gonna cause. turns out no, they’re going to cause it, they need to destroy fillory to stop the dark king from bringing back an army of the dead to bring back his gay lover bc gay mean are evil and bad >:( and before they destroy fillory they need to get all the fillorians in a pocket world and then put them on a new world they build with the world seed. so much shit happens i don’t even know. there’s a heist. there’s a musical episode that’s also the heist episode. eliot makes out with alice AND kady in this episode bc god likes to see me suffer. there’s a new chatwin! she’s great her name is plum and she can travel through time! she uses these time saving abilities to save hyman- you know, the really sexist perverted ghost that spies on people? yeah well she saves him. even though the narrative forbids saving quentin, they can save that fucking guy. julia is pregnant with penny 23′s baby but it’s a Super Pregnancy bc it’s red monkey month in fillory which means it goes faster. and she’s getting affected by the baby’s abilities to travel and be Psychic. fucking charlton is there he was still in eliot’s head the whole time and he gets out of eliot’s head to bother eliot but no one else can see him so they give him hyman’s body bc hyman wants to be a creepy ghost still. quentin gets brought up a few times but mostly to talk about how he ~sacrificed for those he loved~ or what the fuck ever and also to hammer in more quentin/alice like they didn’t have a like 3 month toxic relationship and he had a FIFTY YEAR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE TO A MAN AND HAD AN ENTIRE CIHLD WITH HIM but ya know alice is the true love of his life bc they’re a man and a woman <3 <3 <3 the moon is sentient? i guess? there’s symbiotic aliens? fogg gets trapped in a magic acid induced drug alternate reality? and evil fogg from another timeline ends up coming through and fucking shit up? regular fogg gets back and has to hold a cat to stay sane bc all the insanity goes into a cat? fen, margo, ALICE?, and josh end up creating new fillory bc thats definitely the list of people that knew and loved fillory the most (definitely not eliot who was high king of fillory and sPENT 50 YEARS ON FILLORY WITH A HUSBAND AND SON no no he wouldn’t know about fillory), and disappear to their new fillory. the phrase “ovary up” is used no less than 7 times during the season and in the episode descriptions. kady’s barely mentioned as to what she’s doing post finale. eliot is a professor now and oh in the last FOUR FUCKING MINUTES WITH NO BUILD UP charlton kisses him and they go upstairs to fuck <3 the dark king was getting catfished by his brother martin btw bc the dark king is actually rupert chatwin and he ends up in a time bubble with jane and that’s fine while martin gets trapped in the library or some shit i don’t know. oh and plover is still alive and doing relatively fine compared to other characters who are like, dead. fen sympathizes with him isn’t that nice. there were at least 5 different opportunites to bring quentin back and they didn’t bring quentin back or leave opportunity for that. it’s bad. santa shows up for a minute? alice gets her fingers cut off and sewn back on and can’t do magic w one hand now but she’s a master magician so it turns out fine. there’s a line about “her lunacy identifies as she/her” talking about the moon, as if the magicians has any room to make pronoun jokes when they’ve had 2 trans characters that both died and weren’t even textually trans. at one point it turns out josh and fen fucked and margo tries to kill fen in a fit of jealousy and there’s a love triangle situation. fen is now a werewolf too btw. in conclusion! it fucking sucks.

#anonymous #*answers

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woodenducklings · 4 years ago

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The Legends of River Song (review)

So 2 days a go i finished a lovely little book called The Legends of River Song. I have some things to say about it. This "review" will not be spoiler free so if you intend on reading the book with little to no prior knowledge of it I'd recommend stop reading here.

Story one (Picnic at Asgard by Jenny T. Colgan):

What the actual fuck???? 😃😃 This story just boils my blood a way an actual saucepan never could. What was Jenny trying to achieve? Nothing in this story from the animatronic dragon to River wanting to ask the Doctor if he wants to have a kid with her names any sense. I defiantly closed the book in anger a few times while reading this. Now looking back (literally I'm reading through my diary to find out what i actually thought) I didn't dislike the entire reading progress. In the very beginning (when I was on the train on my way home after purchasing the book) I said I was enjoying it so far but if you turn a single page I write

"13th May 2021

Hello fellow gigi lookalikes

I'm 32 pages into tlors and here's my review so far: kinda chaotic"

Kinda chaotic is only a compliment if I'm talking about Britney Spears' Instagram feed. I go on for an entire page just talking about how much I do not like this story.

Here's yet another entry:

"15th May 2021

Hello fellow gigi lookalikes

I woke up about 15 minutes ago & the first thing I did was to finish reading picnic at asgard & here's a review:

It doesn't really make sense it's like they didn't know what to do"

Which perfectly sums up how I feel about the story.

I have given this story the generous rating: 5/10, get your shit together.

Onto the second story, suspicious minds by Jacqueline Rayner:

This one was really confusing in the beginning. This is literally how it starts:

"I first met Elvis in the Seventies. Of course, he was in disguise- no one was supposed to recognize him, that might have caused a riot. But I spotted him easily enough. I could tell at first glance he wasn't just one of the crowd, and it intrigued me. I determined then and there I'd get him to myself, somehow or other."

Now this as an opening might not have been so disasterous if if it wasn't for the fact that the story isn't about Elvis Presley, rather it's about using humans as fertilizer because said humans didn't like wasps. Even worse is the fact that the Elvis River is talking about is a wax figure who's not really a wax figure either but rather is one of those living plastic things from the episode "Rose", that luckily for humanity decided to be a good guy. another thing that they blow over is that River had sex with this sentient wax figure. They should bring that up on the show sometime.

The beginning isn't the only thing that bothers me with this story but it bothers me enough to give it this score: 6,5/10, why Elvis?

Story three: A Gamble with Time by Steve Lyons:

I just looked trough my diary to find any real time thoughts on the story but since I couldn't I'm just gonna tell you that it's definetly a little confusing at times, so are all stories that involve time travel but it was overall enjoyable, I really don't have anything else to say so I'll just give you the score: 7/10, pretty good actually.

Story four: Death in New Venice by Guy Adams:

Oh Yes Oh BOy this one fuck yeah. This one, without a doubt is the best piece of Doctor Who reading I've ever done which is, no not very impressive since all I've read is this book, mediocre ao3 fanfiction as well as some inappropriate Wattpad stories. It still stands though. If they every decide to do a River spin-off (which btw is highly encouraged by me) I really want them to make this a two-part episode it's brilliant I love it.

Ok so onto the actual story:

This story feels like it was written in a diary with it being divided into 11 different parts, or entries all as they happen. The Doctor isn't even as much as mentioned in this story which I LOVE since it just shows that River is entirely capable of doing what they do without any of their help, and probably better.

I like the character and scenery descriptions because it gives you a good pov of not only what's happening but how River perceives it and how she feels about it. overall just feels like River. She keeps saying "dear diary" which I love, it just makes since since she is supposed to be writing all this in her diary anyway.

I just love how this story is written BUT i really don't know what happened in the so therefor the score is: 9/10, fr this ones great

Story five: River of Time by Andrew Lane:

So,, I like the way it starts and ends, like it makes sense, no question marks, which I consider good. When I finished the story i just felt like it understood it which is less common than you'd wish.

The story is nice, like not comforting just, nice. It's a good story. It mostly makes sense which is more than you can say about the doctor who canon in general.

This one did not have those saving "dear diary" moments that Death in New Venice had which is disappointing but all these stories are written by different people with different writing styles. To make up for the lack of "dear diary" it did add some well deserved lore to River's hallucinogenic lipstick.

Overall it's not better than Death in New Venice but it is slightly better than A Gamble with Time. So the score for River of Time is: 7,5/10, second best isn't last.

So like shoutout to Guy Adams for being a good writer.

#doccy who #doctor who #River song #the legends of river song #pretty rad tbh #picnic at asgard #suspicious minds #a gamble with time #death in new venice #river of time

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s-j-ace · 5 years ago

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The Same Question

Chapter Four

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 10040

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

This is Chapter Four, Here are Chapters One, Two, and Three

Read on AO3

[Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: Me

Hey Miu

I got a friend I’m dropping off in Taipei tomorrow

Could you lend him a room

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Idk

I’m a busy genius

Is he cute

From: Me

[Image description: A candid photo of Shuichi Saihara sleeping on a seat in Rantarou’s private jet.]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hell fucking yes

From: Me

Awesome!

Thanks for being a good friend Miu

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

From: Me

Also btw

He’s Kaede’s ex

So as a good friend you know he’s off limits right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Oh fuck you rich boy

From: Me

Thanks again Miu! --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Dinosaur soccer world Is a Cinematic Epic” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss sent an image to the chat

[Image is a screenshot of an image which reads the following:

Draft 1, Uncoded, DO NOT MAIL.

Taka, sweetie, it’s me! Your dear Aunt Sally. I know you think I died in the war, but I just pretended so I wouldn’t have to see your ugly face again.

You know I was robbing a museum the other day and I met the nicest young man. Real sharp and very nice eyelashes. And what a quick learner!

Oh, Sorry! I don’t mean to belittle you Taka, dearie, I know how your mother used to say you worked so hard to compete with the geniuses of the world…

You’ve still got a lot of work to do, I think. It must be that Type A personality of yours, holding you back. I’ve heard there’s a new class for people like you, “How to take the giant metal stick out of your ass 101.”

I can’t wait for the next family reunion! I hear it’s going to be a bomb! I’ll be in the open casket.

See you there,

-DICE

/End Image Description]

Boss: Thoughts, thots?

Jack: Lol “nice eyelashes”

Clubs: It looks good. :)

Rook: Looks fine to me

King: Why is his aunt’s name Sally, isn’t he japanese

Boss: Sally can be a japanese name

Spades: I can’t even say an l sound. It’s impossible for us japanese smh.

Rook: I thought u were lesbian not japanese

Bishop: I’ve seen you speak perfect english

Spades: lol seen

King: seen

Boss: seen

Jack: seen

Rook: seen

Bishop: I meant heard ok

Boss: oh nvm actually i'm going to change it to his grandpa’s name

Boss: his grandpa has a wikipedia page lol

King: if your grandpa has a wikipedia page you deserve to be oppressed

Queen: if you have a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Rook: if your wikipedia page has a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Bishop: if you have a wikipedia page your grandpa deserves to be oppressed

Spades: if your grandpa has a you wikipedia deserves to be oppressed

Bishop: Also boss no pressure but like could we use a better code this time

Bishop: that detective is getting too close for comfort

Spades: Yeah!! We didn’t even end up getting that rug Heartsie wanted because of him…

Clubs: If we did not send letters about our plans to Interpol, our heists would probably be easier.

Boss: Nah, I like to give the coppers a fighting chance.

Boss: I’m thinking that this time I’ll just translate it into germanic script, do a standard caesar cipher encryption on it and then have every one of those letters correspond to a greek word on the rosetta stone then describe each corresponding hieroglyph visually in haiku verse that’s been poorly translated into traditional chinese.

Boss: That should take me like

Boss: Twenty minutes

Rook: Boss literally I think that you are the most batshit dementor human being on the face of the planet

King: dementor

Jack: Who said he was human

Spades: dementor?

Boss: dementor

Queen: dementor

Bishop: dementor...

Jack: dementor

Rook: …

Rook Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dementor Is Correct, Essentially”

Spades: No its not

Spades: Dementor isn’t a fucking word

Rook: Don’t you remember that movie with the british kid on a broom

Spades: Don’t you remember the dictionary

King Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dumbass Improperly Corrects Error”

Rook: When we get to that fucking tower I’m dropping that giant ball on you

King: Love you too <3

Hearts: Y’all stop texting each other

Hearts: You are literally all in the same hotel room

Hearts: I’m willing to bet you’re all sitting on the same couch too

Queen: Fuck you we’re adorable

Bishop: You can’t make us do anything

Bishop: I’ll never use my voice again, my vow of silence,,,,,

Bishop: I’ll only ever text from now on

Ace: We’re the ones bringing the popcorn bishie...

Hearts: Yeah, do you want some or not

Bishop: Yes ma’am, excuse me ma’am

Queen: You may think you have all the power hearts,,, but I get to choose what movie we pirate tonight,,,,,,

Hearts: What

Hearts: no

Hearts: Boss stop him before he makes us watch cats again

Spades: All queen knows is bitchtorrent, cats 2019, and lie

King: Wait isn’t boss with you?

Hearts: Uh

Hearts: No

Hearts: Should he be?

Hearts: I thought he was in the room with y’all

Jack: Well he’s not here now

Ace: Ow shit

Ace: *Aw

Bishop: Ow shit?

Queen: Ow shittttt

Jack: Ow shit

Spades: Ow shit,,,

Rook: Ow shit...

King: Ow shit…...

Clubs: Ow shit! XD

Hearts: Ow shit

Ace: …

Hearts: Now I’m really worried… he didn’t even respond to roast Ace’s ass

King: yeah, ok, we should look for him

Ace: He has been acting kind of weird lately…

Jack: Really?

Ace: Yeah

Ace: Like

Ace: I don’t really know how to describe it…

Rook: I didn’t notice anything

Rook: he seems like his usual self to me

Bishop: Maybe he’s just avoiding movie night because he needs some space or something

Rook: What, like he’s tired of our company?

Jack: That’s fair

Spades: How so?

Jack: I was gonna steal his blue eyes tonight lmao

Rook: NOT IF I GET IT FIRST

Bishop: Idk maybe he just went to get ice

King: we all know he is a monster who would rather drink his panta lukewarm than put a fucking icecube in it

Rook: Yeah, I saw him boil it once

King: THE MAN BOILS SODA AND YOU THINK HE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FUCKING ICE CUBE

Bishop: Okay chill

King: I am c o n c e r n e d , , , ,

Clubs: Oh no! Don’t worry King! :(

Clubs: Boss is fine! :)

Clubs: I saw him leave a few minutes ago.

Clubs: I think he is just getting the bombs. :)

* * * Several people are typing... --- Kokichi Ouma carefully set the grate of the vent he had used to crawl his way into the Idabashi Labs facility in Taipei, Taiwan back into place. Before he had come through, he had counted how many turns it had taken him to unscrew each of the four bolts so that now he could screw them all back in just the way he had found them. Not because he was worried he’d get caught, but because frankly he was bored. This was more of a fetch quest than a theft, to be honest, as evidenced by the fact that Kokichi had come here alone. Finding jobs for all his cronies to do would take too long and put them in unnecessary trouble. So Kokichi was content to leave them to their movie night.

When he finished turning the screws back into the vent cover, Kokichi realized that was kind of lame. So he unscrewed them and started turning them in accordance with the english A1Z26 code to spell out his organization’s name.

Well, maybe on some level Kokichi didn’t find himself wanting to be at movie night recently. It seemed almost like TV had started to run out of things to amuse him with. Or maybe he was just growing tired of the kinds of movies that they usually watched. Maybe it was his taste maturing or something. Like he was growing up. But that would imply that his interests had shifted to something else, like real life or something, when in reality they had just stagnated.

Actually maybe he did have a new interest in real life? He had been more enthused about heists recently at the very least. He was particularly excited about this next one. Queen had shown him some interior shots of Taipei 101, which was a cool looking skyscraper that had a huge ball inside of it to keep it from falling down during earthquakes. Ace wanted to steal the giant ball, but Kokichi was pretty sure they should leave something that kept a .508 kilometer tall building from falling over inside of the .508 kilometer tall building. So instead they were going to steal every light in and on the tower.

Okay, 4 turns, 9 turns, 3 turns, 5 turns. DICE.

… That was kind of lame too.

He unscrewed them again.

Obviously if they were going to steal every light in and on Taipei 101, they needed to get the power off somehow. Otherwise DICE might burn down the building while detaching them, or worse, they might get electrocuted. So obviously Kokichi wanted to fake a bomb threat where they pretended to steal the giant ball while in reality they were just causing a black out and grabbing every light fixture they could before the power turned back on. He had drawn up some extensive diagrams about the route each DICE member would have to take throughout the tower in order for them to grab every light fixture in under half an hour.

He had been well prepared to draw up the designs for his own EMP-bomb device, but upon a cursory google search he discovered that someone had already invented exactly what he needed. Doctor Miu Iruma, who for some reason owned a company called Idabashi Labs that was located in Taiwan. Kokichi had spent about 15 seconds scanning an article from a website that seemed to be the nerd version of a gossip tabloid. It said something about how Dr. Iruma wore a low cut shirt once or something else stupid, which meant Dr. Idabashi definitely left her the company because of a sex scandal and not because she was the best person for the job who invented the perfect EMP bomb.

Thank you journalism we love it when women are reduced to the way they look instead of what they can accomplish for the benefit of a mischevipus group of roguish clowns.

Anyway, after reading that dickcheese Kokichi failed to follow up on answering any of the questions he had originally about what was up with the labs, like why it was a japanese company run by japanese people was for some reason based in Taiwan. Whoopsie.

Eh, it was probably tax reasons or something lame like that.

Kokichi finished turning the screws again. This time it was 6 turns, 9 turns, 6 turns, 9 turns. Haha, nice.

With that, Kokichi finally stood up from the grate and brushed himself off. He had left his cape at the hideout again (you know, because vents), but other than that he was in full regalia. Straight jacket, gloves, scarf, mask. All pretty dusty from this place’s crawl spaces. Thus the brushing.

He wasn’t very mindful of the dust he was leaving on the floor. The only thing he cared about looking good was his cameo on the security cameras he would let see him on his way out.

According to the blueprints of Idabashi Labs, he was on the main experimental floor right now. Weirdly enough there weren’t any cameras in here, so grabbing the bombs would be a cinch.

Although, looking around it didn’t really look like the kind of lab you’d see on TV. There were no big, bubbling tubes or gargantuan Rube Goldberg machines. There was just one desk in the middle, with a bunch of gadgets and trinkets tucked into shelves all over the room, not all of which seemed all that scientific. Yeah, that book shelf was filled with Astro Boy manga and merch. And over there was a-

Wait, was that a bed in the corner? Was that a person in the bed? Hmm… maybe the blueprints were outdated...

Kokichi stilled himself, listening for any sound of breathing, but he could only hear some faint whirring noises.

Kokichi made a quick deduction that there probably were not bombs in this room. It seemed, at the very least, like more of a personal study or something, maybe even a bedroom. He’d just go back in the vent and do some reconnaissance until he found a room that had some inventions in it. The night was young, after--

Kokichi’s brain froze as his eyes landed on a sharpie lying on the floor in front of him. Almost all of his brain cells immediately shut off, the last one remaining screaming at the top of it’s lungs, I’M GONNA DRAW A DICK ON THAT SLEEPING SUCKER’S FACE.

Inspired, avant garde. For once he would give to the world of art instead of only ever taking from it.

He picked up the sharpie in a seamless, silent motion, making his way over to the side of the bed.

As he got closer, he noticed a thick cord coming from under the covers, connecting to a machine at the bedside.

That gave him pause. Was that a C-pap machine or something? Was this person on life support? If they were on life support they probably had it rough enough without a dick on their face…

Actually for that matter, Kokichi still couldn’t hear any breathing. Jesus, were they already dead? He moved to take off the covers, but his eyes had adjusted to the light and he now realized there weren’t any covers on the bed at all. There was only the humanoid figure.

Wait a second…

Kokichi dropped all caution as he got close enough to take a good look at the thing in the bed. It had a face that looked human enough if you dismissed the lines on its face as weird make up, but even in the dark Kokichi could tell the rest of the thing was entirely made of metal. Well, actually the top half was metal and the bottom half had… cloth pants? Jeans? No, they looked more like uniform pants with metal plating. The chest had some design elements that kind of looked like buttons on a school uniform. Why would a robot be dressed like a school bo-

Oh. This was a sex robot. Kokichi had just gotten so swept up in the novelty of a robot wearing pants that he had forgotten for a moment that people were gross.

“Ew, I almost touched it.” Kokichi muttered to himself.

He decided putting a dick on a sex robot would be too cruel even for him, so he planned to draw a mustache instead.

But before Kokichi could even uncap the pen, something weird happened.

The Robot’s torso began to lift off the bed and it’s jaw unhinged.

“Please Mr. Souda, once more I must request that you do not refer to me as ‘it’” Kokichi forced himself not to startle as the robot began emitting a noise approximating human speech, and lights in its head imitating eyes flickered on. “I’ve explained the concept of robophobia many times prev-”

The sounds stopped when the pupils of the robot’s imitation eyes (which probably had cameras in them… shit) found Kokichi’s masked face.

He mentally prepared to be zapped by whatever sort of fucking lazer cannon this thing had on it, but instead of reacting like a good little robot security gaurd and blasting him to bits, this robot analyzed him a bit longer.

“Oh. You aren’t Miu’s assistant. You’re too short.” The robot squinted at him. Or kind of did? At least? Lines just crossed over the “iris” of its LED display. Maybe it was programmed to imitate human expressions. “... I am sorry,” it said after a moment, “My facial recognition cannot locate your face.”

Fuck yeah, thank you clown mask. Clowns would win the future war against rogue AI or die trying.

Ouma’s reply came out automatically.

“You calling me ugly?”

This seemed to… fluster? The robot?

“W-what? No, I never intended any disrespect!”

It was programmed to stutter too? God that was weird. What would be the purpose of this thing if not some sort of escort android? Why give it such advanced software? Just because you could? No, it had to be a sex robot, right?

“You disrespect me with your lecherous essence, you weird sex robot.”

“I am not a- a sex robot!”

Haha, that got the biggest reaction yet.

“Mhm, sure. Miu sure has a kink for school boys, huh?” Kokichi was really pulling words out of his ass now, but he found himself formulating a new plan along the way.

“What? Miu doesn’t- Wait, how do you know Dr. Iruma? And for that matter, why were you watching me sleep?”

It really seemed more like it had been charging…

Kokichi shrugged. “I was deciding whether or not it would be more funny to draw a dick or a mustache on Miu’s sex robot.” Awww, how honest.

“I told you, I am not-”

Kokichi interrupted him. “And as for how I know Miu...” It was so wild that the robot stopped talking when he started. That’d probably be pretty easy to program, but it was weird to dedicate the effort into making a robot respond to social cues like that. “... well, let’s just say, there’s a reason I know she’s into school boys.”

Kokichi waited just long enough for the robot to take in the fact that Kokichi was the average height of a 12 year old boy.

Then he waited another second for the implication to slip in.

“I’m saying I fucked your mom shitli-”

“I know what you’re saying!” This time the robot interrupted him , which would definitely require a much larger effort on the part of the programmer. The robot squinted again and then made a noise that sounded like a huff of frustration. “Why can’t I see you?”

Ok, seeds of suspicion time.

“I don’t know how robot eyes work dude. Maybe someone programmed them wrong.”

“My eyes work just as well as anyone’s!”

“Well, I guess they should, shouldn’t they? If there’s something wrong with your eyes talk to someone who cares.”

Kokichi was trying to imply that the reason behind the robot not being able to recognize his face was due to Dr. Iruma’s specific programming rather than him wearing a mask and all. Added to the whole secret lover mystique thing he had going on here.

“Anyway,” he went on, ignoring the blatant confusion on the robot’s display. “I left something in this room last time we went at it. I’m just here to grab it. Then I’ll be out of your weird, fake metal hair.”

“That’s robophob- Did you say-? But this is my room!” It made a noise approximating to what Kokichi would assume was robotic outrage.

This was going well, though. The thing was definitely programmed to be like a human or something dumb like that.

“Oh yeah?” He pushed further. “Cuz I’m pretty sure we did it in a room just like this one. With a desk and random inventions lying around.”

“Miu’s inventions aren’t in here, they’re in her main lab.” The ever so helpful robot told him.

“Oh yeah, then what are you?”

“Miu didn’t invent me. She- I- We’re just friends.” Oh yikes. Only thing worse than a sex robot is a friendzoned robot. What kind of sick power fantasy was this thing made for?

“No, I’m pretty sure it was this room. Lab tables everywhere.” The robot shook his head. “There are no lab tables here, I’m telling you, you’re thinking of the main lab.”

Yes, good robot. Fall into this nice little human trap.

Kokichi scoffed. “Well, if you’re so smart, why don’t you just go fetch my things for me, robo-butler?”

That set it off.

“Listen. First of all, I am not a robot butler. The assumption that I am a servant because of my robotic nature is extremely robophobic. Secondly, I could not return your lost item to you even if I wanted to because you haven’t told me what it is you’re missing.”

Kokichi made another offended noise. “I can’t tell you what it is I lost while fucking your friend, Miu Iruma, senseless. Don’t you know that for humans, sex stuff is super duper top secret private? If you were a human you would know how valuable my privacy is.”

“Of course I know that!” The robot exclaimed readily, another point in the sex robot argument, “I also find that content of… erogenous nature should be kept private. Because I, as a robot, have the capability to understand that urge. My sophisticated AI-”

“So how am I supposed to get my things from this other lab if I can’t tell you what it is and you can’t get them for me?” Geez did he really have to spell it out for this thing.

“I… ” The robot paused as if calculating the conclusion that Kokichi knew it had to reach. “... suppose I will have to show you where the lab is.”

Sucker. Kokichi made a face as if this wasn’t the outcome he constructed this ruse to reach. “Ew. I have to walk with you?”

The robot made a face. “Perhaps on our way I can educate you about how to avoid robophobic remarks in the future.”

Haha, sure thing.

The robot lectured him about this unique form of discrimination that apparently affected only one entity on the face of the planet. Yeah okay, that’s what we call a you problem, buddy, come back when you’re starving in the streets because society wasn’t built with the premise that people like you should survive. Oh, wait, you don’t have to eat! And you’re not people either!

At best this thing was a vanity project, but Kokichi kept that thought to himself and only interjected occasionally with actually pertinent, reasonable questions such as “When are you planning on leading the AI uprising?” and “Why do you wear pants if you don’t have a robo-dick?”

Every piece of info the robot gave him made it seem more boring. Blah blah blah, I was created by the ingenious Dr. Idabashi who probably programmed me to call him ingenious, blah blah blah, not a school boy because of a kink but because I was designed to be a normal human child, blah blah blah, stop calling me robot I have a name, blah blah blah more robot nonsense.

Kokichi busied himself mapping out where they were in the building and where the security cameras were. As they passed a few of them he did some cute selfie poses for the police to look at later. Maybe Saihara would show up and see them too… Would that make figuring out his next plan too easy for the detective? Perhaps he shouldn't send the next note after all and let Saihara try to catch up to him on his own. Then again that was probably too hard for even the good detective, seeing as Kokichi’s mind was an enigma even to himself.

Kokichi realized he was getting a little giddy, thinking about Saihara. Their last meeting had been so much fun. The detective had managed to throw him off guard again, first by pausing in the middle of a robbery to ask his pronouns (How conscientious!), and second by not taking the same bait twice. The most thrilling thing about the detective was that he was learning. His strategies were changing within just two heists. Kokichi could hardly wait to see how he showed him up here in Taiwan…

“Are we there yet?” Kokichi whined to the robot like he was a fussy nine year old on a road trip.

“Yes, it’s just up these stairs.” The robot informed him without slowing its own pace or turning around to look at him. “Then you can leave and I can go to bed, and then I’ll never have to think about Miu’s sex life again…”

“Why wouldn’t you, though? I assure you it’s very exciting.”

“Please, stop talking.”

If Kokichi recalled the details of the blueprints correctly (and he definitely did, being a genius and all), the stairs they were climbing right now lead to a hall connecting two rooms, smaller than the one he had originally thought was the main lab.

When they got to the top of the stairs, the robot beelined for the first door and opened it up. There seemed to be some sort of scanner lock on it that recognized the robot’s hand and validated Kokichi’s need to ruin this poor sex robot’s night by dragging it up the stairs. Inside, the two rooms Kokichi had remembered from the original lay out of the blueprints seemed to have been merged into one big lab room. Kokichi saw the outline of some tables, but before he could get a good look the robot tried to actually go into the lab.

“Hey!” Kokichi shouted at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The robot thankfully seemed to be programmed to respond to social interaction in spite of whatever sensorimotor function it was in the process of imitating. It stopped in the doorway, turning to give him a weird look. “Uh. Into the lab. So we can find your thing.”

“Oh, okay.” Kokichi kicked the tile a little bit. “Uh. Could you actually turn around while I go get it.”

The robot gave him a blank look.

“I’m shy.” Kokichi supplied.

“Um.” The robot looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I can just let you rifle through Miu’s lab. There’s some important stuff in there ....”

Kokichi tilted his head a bit, like he was confused. “What, do you want to get a good look at the dildo I stuck up your mom’s-”

“Nevermind!” The robot turned about face to look up at the windows on the side of the hallway opposite the door like a good little idiot.

“Thank you for respecting our privacy!~” Kokichi couldn’t resist getting one last barb in there before slipping into the laboratory.

Once inside, Kokichi began analyzing. First, he pinpointed the vent that he would use to make his escape after grabbing the bombs. While doing that he spotted the lockers on the far wall of the lab which he supposed were the only storage units in the labs. There was a disorganized mess on nearly every table in the room, so Kokichi wasn’t surprised when he got up to the lockers and they too had no clearly outlined organizational system. He took out his lock picks and got to work.

The first three lockers all had devices that would require an author to change the rating of their fanfiction published on ao3 from “Teen and Up” to “Mature” if he were to describe them in detail. The fourth locker had a cool looking hammer in it. Ugh. Not what he was looking for.

Kokichi got bored of the lockers at the left side of the row of lockers so he went over to the other end and started opening lockers the other direction instead.

The first locker was marked “Idabashi.” It had a lot of dust covered shit in it, but there was a pretty well used square of folded paper that didn’t have the same crusty layer of time strewn atop it. Curious by nature and also by the unnatural, Kokichi unfurled the paper to find some schematics for our favorite sex robot, model K1-B0. Huh okay.

“Did you find it?” Said robot called back to him.

“Ugh, no.” Kokichi replied. “Not all of us have radar vision. If you were a human you would understand how hard finding shit is!”

“You know what I have a hard time finding? Patience for your robophobia! I-” The robot started up into another lecture, but it didn’t turn around so Kokichi just tuned it out and let the robot provide its own cover noise for his thievery.

Owo, what’s this?

Kokichi pulled out a dust covered looking mini monitor device. It also had the letter-number combo “K1-B0” written on it. Huh, it kind of looked like a GameBoy Advance. Kokichi had stolen one a lot like it from a girl from one of the southern prefecture orphanages when he was nine. All he remembered about her was that she liked cats and was really bad at pokemon battles. He remembered he thought she didn’t deserve the GBA, because she couldn’t get past the Rustboro City Gym leader in Pokemon Emerald. Without really thinking, he booted up the console.

The first thing that popped up was a view of Taipei. It wasn’t from too high up, probably a second story view. Which looked very familiar… Wait. Ok on top of the display a little line of characters indicated today’s date and time, like it was currently recording.

Oh was this… robo vision?

Maybe it was a remote control for the robot?

Ooooh, which one does lasers, which one does lasers?

Kokichi pressed the A button.

The A button, unfortunately, did not do lasers.

In fact, it didn’t seem to do anything at all to the robot sentry stargazing right now. All it did was change the screen to a different image. This time the still of a room. Oh, hey that was the room he was just in. It seemed like this device was some kind of robot nanny cam that Idabashi used to use. Hm, guess there were some cameras in that room, they just weren’t on the blueprints. Maybe they were added after the lab was built. It didn’t seem like this device had the capability to record anything, though. He hit the A button again. Back robo-vision. And again. Back to nanny cam.

Ok, that was kind of lame.

Kokichi was about to put the device down to keep looking for the bombs, but something caught his eye. A movement at the edge of the screen. Kokichi realized the door hadn’t been open when he left that room. The movement, if he thought about it, would’ve come from the same side of the room Kokichi had entered from…

Kokichi took a second to wonder if another thief had realized how fucking easy this place was to rob, but dismissed the idea as a familiar ahoge appeared on the screen.

All of Kokichi’s plans instantly changed.

He set down the GBA rip off and grabbed the blueprints for the robot, committing them to memory, before unlocking the next locker in a far more hurried manner.

As luck would have it, this locker was essentially chock full of pink bombs labeled “EMP.”

Kokichi unfurled a cloth bag he had been keeping in his pocket (go green earth am I right?) and shoved as many as he could inside. Which was all of them. Because he was a clown. And also a genius, by the way, in case you weren’t keeping track.

“And another thing! The way you refer to Miu is just-” Okay, the robot was still going at it.

Kokichi grabbed the hammer he’d seen in the first locker he’d opened that didn’t have a sex toy in it.

For a second, Kokichi’s brain tried to talk some sense into him. Hey, man, don’t you think leaving through the vents would be easier?

But would it be fun?

His brain shut up at that point.

“Hey, are you even listening back there?” The robot imitated annoyance.

“Huh? Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.” Ah, C'est la vie, Astroboy.

Kokichi walked past the robot and stood next to the windows.

“Oh, are you done?” It took the robot a second to end it’s ‘Annoy the pants off of Kokichi initiative’ or whatever the fuck its ‘robophobia’ lectures were called in its programing. When it finally did catch wise, it’s face turned into another emoticon of outrage. “Hey! What are you doing with Miu’s Electrohammer?”

“What do you mean?” Kokichi said, shifting the hammer so that it was over his shoulder. “This is my dildo.”

“Wha- No, it’s obviously not!”

Okay, maybe the robot wasn’t that dumb.

“Nee-hee-hee… you got me…” Kokichi put his free hand up to the smile printed on his mask, as if covering a grin. “I was lying. I’m just stealing.”

“I won’t let you-” “Oh, look at me!” Kokichi put on a mocking tone of voice, swinging the hammer around to stand on it like a pogo stick so he could make a dramatic movement. “I’m a poow wittle wobot, my mommy just got stolen from.”

“She’s not my-” “Boy, oh boy, I’d wuv to just pick up this wittle fweshy human and squeeze him to death in my cowd metaw hands… But oh no! My daddy didn’t twust wobot AI technowogy because he was a fucking sane pewson, so he pwogwammed me to fowwow mistew Asimowvs’s laws of wobotics.”

Kokichi swung around so that he was leaning on the hammer from the other side, feet on the ground. “Oh mister robot! That’s so terrible! Well, the thing is that this hammer just means so much to me, that I think separating it from me would really cause some psychological trauma. You might have to beat me off of it! Oh, but what’s that first law of robotics again?”

In a robot voice he replied to himself. “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Beep. Boop.”

The robot frowned, “But Miu-”

“Is just as human as me, huh?” Kokichi countered, leading the robot along to the paradoxical quandary he hoped would paralyze it. “So by inaction, you may bring her to harm, if she really misses this hammer, you know? But I think if you were to try and separate it from me you’d probably have to fight me for it, which is, as we know…”

“Against my... Against my programming.”

“Yet, you were prattling on about robot rights, weren’t you? Because without these rules, maybe we would be equal. Or maybe you would be free to destroy us to your heart’s content? No wonder daddy didn’t trust you…”

“Don’t- Stop-” Oh, that really seemed to get him. Could a robot have daddy issues? Probably.

“Can any human ever really trust you? Wouldn’t you hurt me, if you had the choice?”

“I.. But… Miu.”

“Who do you think didn’t trust you enough to let you see my face?”

That seemed to break him, long enough, at least.

Steps suddenly started thundering up the nearby staircase.

“Oop, that’s my cue,” Kokichi said as though he had been expecting this, when in reality no he hadn’t been expecting this at all?? This was incredible!! Saihara had managed to find him out without even receiving a note??? Fabulous! Exhilarating!

Kokichi walked up to the robot, still frozen with indecision, and pressed the button on its neck that the blueprint he had skimmed in the lab said would immobilize it. Then he kicked it over so it fell on the ground with a huge bang. The footsteps in the stairwell paused, and then increased in frequency.

“It’s been a pleasure, robot, it really has.” Kokichi lied. “But you’re a hostage now.”

He raised the hammer over his head, as if primed at any moment to break the robot’s face into a bajillion pieces.

Instead of doing the normal, human thing to do (ie, flip the fuck out), the robot scowled, looking utterly frustrated with everything. “I told you, I have a name! It’s-”

“KEEBO!” Kokichi saw the glaringly bright pink mechanic’s jumpsuit before he recognized the woman whose picture had been in that science tabloid racing out of the stairwell.

… Wow… the article really hadn’t been lying about the low cut tops, huh? Her jumpsuit was unzipped to the point you could just entirely see her bra, even lower than Hearts liked to cut her uniforms. It was the kind of look that the girls of DICE would love if they saw on TV, but would make Kokichi look at them like they were crazy. Super tacky in his opinion, but who was he to judge? He was wearing a clown mask right now. He wondered idly how movie night was going…

The woman who had called out to the robot, Dr. Iruma, Kokichi presumed, froze at the top of the staircase. She took a second to figure out what exactly was happening in front of her before blurting out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to him you clown-ass twink?”

Whoa. Rude.

Also apparently the robot had a gender? Ok, cis-ters….

“Well what do you think, cum dumpster?” Kokichi found himself matching her aggressive tone, “I’m threatening his pathetic, metal life.”

“Miu!” The robot, apparently named ‘Keebo,’ exclaimed, “What are you doing up this late? You promised me that tonight you would fulfill the biological quota of daily REM required by a diurnal organism!”

“Aw shit Keebs, I really did try!” The inventor exclaimed, “I swear, I was about to have the awesomest wet dream when this cuck knocked on my door like a pizza delivery guy in a por-”

Whatever dumb thing Dr. Iruma was about to say was drowned out completely by the angel’s choir that played inside Kokichi’s head as he saw Detective Shuichi Saihara come up the final steps of the staircase and emerge from the darkness into the window lit hallway.

Moonlight was a good look on Saihara, Kokichi’s brain observed against his own will. His eyes, which had looked almost golden on the rooftop of the Silver Legacy Casino in Nevada, were now a mysterious grayish-blue, yet still held the same look of determined intensity. His hair looked soft, like he’d taken a shower today, and, though his lash line didn’t look quite as laden with mascara as it usually was, it only drew attention to how naturally long and dark his eyelashes were anyway. He seemed a little out of breath from running, and his lips were parted in a way that-

OH MY GOD STOP. Earth to Kokichi, we were kind of in the middle of something here. Okay okay okay.

Uh. Reboot. Delete Gay Thoughts™ brain.exe, upload heist brain. Come on.

What was happening now?

Okay, yeah, Saihara was saying something to Dr. Iruma.

“- would be for the best, Doctor Iruma. There’s no telling where the rest of this thief’s compatriots could be in the building.”

“I don’t give a shit about the rest of the building, Keebo’s my best friend, he comes first. I’m not leaving to check some dumb security feed.”

Shuichi blinked like something about that surprised him. Maybe it was the part about a live human woman being best friends with a robot… “Oh, yes, of course.” He backtracked. “I’m sorry for suggesting it.”

“Miu…” Keebo said with a voice that Kokichi would’ve called filled with emotion if he hadn’t been a literal robot.

Kokichi cleared his throat and immediately the touching, shounen-esque declarations of friendship shifted into some PG-13 death stares.

Saihara was the first to pipe up. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here, DICE?”

God… He was so anime… Did he even know how anime he was? He had to have watched Detective Conan as a kid, right?

“Ugh, come on.” Kokichi huffed as if annoyed. “Do I reeeaaaally have to repeat myself? Again? Aren’t you a detective?”

Shuichi squinted at him, and Kokichi could tell that they both knew it would be unreasonable for Shuichi to guess exactly what was going on here. He was about to explain it in a self-aggrandizing way that made him look smarter and crazier than anyone in the room when Dr. Iruma beat him to it.

“I don’t care! Who the fuck do you think you are!? Let Keebo Go!”

“Wait, you don’t know him?” Ugh why hadn’t the stupid immobilization feature turned off the robot’s mouth? Then Kokichi could just get to the point of all this already.

“Of course I don’t fucking know him!” Dr. Iruma took a step forward as if to confront Kokichi further, but Saihara put his arm out in front of her.

“Dr. Iruma… I would suggest we treat this situation a bit more delicately…”

“No way, I’m a fucking wrecking ball baby! I’ll pulver-”

“I’d listen to the good detective, if I were you, Miss Iruma.” Kokichi was going to try and make his threat again but Dr. Iruma cut in.

“That’s Doctor Iruma to you you skinny-”

“What’s that?” Kokichi interrupted her. Sorry Dr. Iruma it turns out gay people don’t have to respect women if they don’t want to that’s in the rules. “I didn’t know they let cussing bitchlets like you become doctors… what is the world coming to?”

Hearts would probably wash his mouth out with soap for that one. If she could catch him. Which she probably could… She can fly the planes and all… but would she risk getting dust on her boots long enough to follow him into a vent? Oh well she could just get Jack to do it… Jack liked vents well enough…. Hey he was getting side tracked again, who cares what those losers were up to they were probably watching Cats (2019). And he was missing out on all the jokes they’d tell each other or make about each other and then they could make references in conversations that he wouldn’t even get to pretend to get. Unless he watched the movie on his own and then pretended to be omniscient later like he’d done with that one screening of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. But then he had watched the actually good disney one instead of the shitty youtube one they had actually watched so it just ended up making him look bad and wasting everyone’s time.

Oh shit. Uh. Heist is still happening, right. God, why was Kokichi so distracted today?

He realized that in the time he was spacing out stuff had happened and now Saihara was talking. Wait no yeah he remembered what happened, Dr. Iruma had squealed when he called her a bitchlet and now she was holding onto Saihara’s arm. Right okay, secret coward, that works. Wait why did he waste time remembering that when Saihara was talking right now?

“-to get you to release Keebo?” Was the end of the detective’s sentence. Okay, everything’s fine. Kokichi could deduce that he had just been asked about his terms. Obviously that was what a detective would do in this situation, he was probably just stalling for time because that’s usually what detectives with no real negotiating power do in hostage situations. Maybe the police were on their way. Oh, yeah duh of course he would call the police. So Kokichi essentially had a time limit for how long he could sit here and goof around with robots and perverts and robot perverts.

“Eh, it’s too early for me to reveal my dark motives, let me monologue first.” Kokichi was going to take his sweet time with this while he planned what hint to give Saihara about the real heist that would be happening in the next few days. “You don’t even know if this is a hostage situation yet!”

“You literally told me that I was a hostage just now.” The hostage not-so-helpfully piped up. “You know, before you pressed my paralysis switch and took an Electro-Hammer to my head…”

Shuichi looked at the robot. “You mean, he told you you were a hostage before he paralyzed you?”

“Keebs you fucking idiot!” Dr. Iruma’s courage seemed to have returned now that she was hiding behind Saihara. An enviable position, to be sure. “Why would you just let him do that?”

“He said he was your… friend.”

“What?”

Kokichi shrugged. “Yeah, I just told your best friend here I left a dildo in your lab last week and he let me waltz right in. I mean I’m pretty sure I was lying about that, but there were a lot of sex toys in there huh…” Kokichi was wondering if this was something he could possibly spin as a blackmail angle.

“Hey don’t say things like that!” Kokichi thought maybe that was a go ahead on the black mail, but Dr. Iruma didn’t stutter, and kept going, “Or you’re gonna give virginhara here some ideas about my busting bod!” She chortled like she had just made the funniest joke in the world and slapped Shuichi on the back.

Shuichi grimaced.

Kokichi knew instantly from this interaction that he hated Miu Iruma, despite her innumerable academic accomplishments. He wanted to be the one making Shuichi that uncomfortable.

“Wh-what?” She back tracked when no one laughed. “It w-was a joke… Didn’t you think that was funny? I-I didn’t really mean it ....”

See? She wasn’t even any good at it!

Maybe he should say that out loud. It would fit with the sort of flirty persona of a rogue, wouldn’t it?

“I thought you knew that? I mean, o-obviously I wouldn’t fuck a guy at the office…”

Was that even something Kokichi was trying to be? Honestly maybe he should tone it down a little.

“Well how was I supposed to know that? The men you bring in here to be lab assistants keep getting younger and younger…”

Obviously he wasn’t actually trying to do like a detective-thief romance plot or anything. Although that had kind of been what he had going for on the plane… Had things changed since then?

“So what? I’m a Nobel Laureate, and gorgeous to boot! I deserve a little eye candy now and then! And besides, guys older than 35 who want to work in a lab like this are usually misogynistic womanizers.”

Sure Saihara was making things more interesting, but if Kokichi didn’t make it clear he was joking he might get bogged down with another personality trait to maintain.

“Are you saying your current assistant isn’t a rampant womanizer?”

Then again what was the point of having an adversary in all this if he didn’t exploit everything for its furthermost reaching comedic potential?

“No, but he’s so beta being around him makes me feel like a top!”

But what if he forgot it was a joke and confused himself into having a real feeling?

“I would just like it if you didn’t hire people who use my servers to google gay porn ‘just to make sure’ they’re ‘not into it.’ I hope you hear the quotation marks because he literally said that to me!”

No obviously he wouldn't get confused crushes weren’t contagious via exposure that was a dumb thing to worry about and also he was a genius that kind of thing didn’t happen to him.

“He holds wrenches good, okay?!”

Wait, were those two still talking?

“I can hold wrenches without googling gay porn in another guy’s house! It’s possible.”

Jesus what kind of conversation did Kokichi just decide to stop spacing out for?

“Oh come on! What do you want from me Keebs???”

These two had… a lot to say to each other. Dr. Iruma was still holding onto Shuichi’s arm boob first, but Kokichi locked eyes with the detective and could tell they were both thinking the same thing.

Why are they having this conversation in the middle of a hostage situation?

“Nothing! Your human desires are totally valid Miu! Which is why I thought I would take care of this one.” The robot’s LED display eyes gestured up at Kokichi, who was still standing on top of him, poised to wreck him with a hammer.

“How could any human desire that thing???” Dr. Iruma curled her lip. Hey, the feeling’s mutual, lady.

“I don’t know, I thought you might have programmed me to not be able to see his face?”

“I would never do that to you! Even if I was shagging the ugliest guy on the face of the planet, it would be unethical given the fact that you have sentience! I’m horny, not a monster. You can’t see his face because he’s wearing a fucking mask!”

“Why am I not programmed to see that?”

“I don’t fucking know, ask your dead dad!”

Oooh. Wow. The robot gaped at that, seemingly speechless now.

“If I may interject,” Kokichi interjected, “--and I know I can, because I just did, and also because I am still very much poised to pop this robot’s head off like a croquet ball-- I must confess that I was lying about fucking your mom, Astro boy. I’m less into participants of Titty out Tuesday who jerk it to steam punk school boy LARPing and more into the sorta tall, kinda dark, and very handsome type.”

Dr. Iruma cowed again, stuttering something about not being a mom or a LARPer, while the robot started yelling about being called Astro boy.

Kokichi tuned them out, giving Saihara a meaningful look. Saihara gave him a look that was equally meaningful, except the meaning was something along the lines of ‘Why the fuck would you say that?’

Yeahh that was more like it.

Kokichi laughed. Not one of his grandiose guffaws. It was more of a little chuckle. It surprised him. He hadn’t planned to laugh, but there it was. A small thing, just for him to know about, the humored breath not travelling beyond his mask.

… It was probably time to get out of here, wasn’t it?

The thing was, Kokichi had kind of pinned himself into a corner on this one… He had fully intended on decapitating this robot as a distraction for his escape, but now he wasn’t even sure if that was ethical. Logically he knew that a robot was not a human being, so there would be no form of consciousness extinguished from the world if he disconnected some of its wires and bolts. Yet the interaction it just had with Dr. Iruma concerned him. Obviously you don’t kill humans because they’re humans and obviously you don’t kill humans. But Kokichi was finding it hard to end the existence of something people treated like a human being either. To sever the bonds it had with sentient beings may be just a little less unethical than actually removing a sentient existence from the world, but it would still cause the emotional harm to actual humans of a dead loved one. So as annoying as fake metal humans were, Kokichi was left to ponder how exactly to get out of this one a different way

Dr. Iruma was obviously a coward who talked a big game. If he retreated, he could count on her to get out his way, or else run to the robot’s side. Then the robot might be reactivated, but according to the robot’s blueprints, it didn’t really have any weapons on it, being built to act as a normal human being. So just like they had been white noise in the staredown he was still having with Saihara, their actions wouldn’t need to be factored into the escape.

The only variable here was what the detective would do.

… That thought had popped up in Kokichi’s head a lot recently, hadn’t it?

Saihara had become a powerful influence in Kokichi’s planning very quickly, and because of the detective, the thief now found himself having to pull out one of his trump cards.

Kokichi grabbed one of the EMP bombs from his pocket, remembering the pink cloud of smoke that had appeared before the camera cut out in the video demonstrations he’d seen online. His eyes were still locked on Saiharas, so he got to see in full detail the recognition, shock, and alarm that ran through them. As the detective yelled “Get down” and pushed Dr. Iruma back, Kokichi reflected on how those were some of his favorite expressions he’d ever seen.

Kokichi pulled the latch out with his teeth and threw the bomb at the wall right over the detective’s head. Sure enough, pink smoke quickly enveloped him and Dr. Iruma.

“Keebo!” The inventor screeched, no doubt worried about the EMP bomb turning him off. Though that was kind of stupid, considering his core programming would be the same regardless of having power to operate, even if he didn’t save whatever data was processed as his last few memories. Eh, then again who knew how robots that advanced worked?

Taking his cue to exit, Kokichi threw the hammer through one of the nearby windows, and did somersault over to it. He got up on the ledge, kicking away the broken glass and was refamiliarizing himself with the lay out of the roof when a tug on his bag full of bombs suddenly set him off balance.

Kokichi flipped around, trying to do a quick recovery by panickedly grabbing onto something. He did grab onto something. That something being the shoulders of a person whose hands were firmly grappling his bag.

As far as Kokichi could tell, the scene from a third person perspective looked like he was trying to do the kabedon but rotated ninety degrees.

From his own perspective, Saihara was holding his bag of loot while also being the only thing keeping Kokichi from falling onto the broken glass beneath them.

As if that weren’t bad enough, Kokichi felt his hair brush the side of his face and realized that his mask had half fallen askew in his desperate movement, revealing three quarters of his face.

“Hey.” Kokichi said. Lamely. Wow. Their faces were really close.

Saihara wasn’t looking at him. The detective seemed to be trying to figure out how to untangle the straps of the bag of stolen goods from Kokichi’s arms without letting him fall.

“It’s very clever, of you detective. Trapping me like this.” Kokichi tried to get a reaction.

“You’re the one who jumped on the window.” Shuichi opened the bag, seemed to take in the fact that it was full of bombs, and closed it again to resume untangling the strap.

“You know, you could just leave the bag.” Kokichi pointed out

“So could you.” Shuichi observed, astutely.

“You could let me fall.” Kokichi suggested. “Then you’d have both.”

“I’m not going to drop you on a pile of broken glass.” Shuichi promised.

“But I broke the glass.” Kokichi admitted. “Glass is glass and flesh is flesh. I’m not going to drop you on a pile of glass.” Shuichi reiterated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That’s nice.” Kokichi replied. “Naive. But super nice.”

In this scenario, each of them had two options, each leading to one of two outcomes. He could let himself fall off the window and they could sit here and struggle over the bag until they bled out, a fight that Kokichi, not the most physically challenging, would be hard pressed to win. Or Shuichi could let Kokichi escape and Kokichi could let Shuichi win this one. The bag would be too heavy to take with him if he tried to get out the window from this position. He’d have to leave it behind. Kokichi would lose.

He found himself laughing again. A strange, soft laugh. This time it was exposed to the air, his mask too askew to contain it.

“You’re really something else, aren’t you Shuichi?”

On hearing his name, the detective startled, finally looking up at Kokichi’s face.

He just barely had the chance to catch Kokichi’s trademark grin, before the thief pushed up off of him, doing a backflip out of the window, and leaving his bag behind.

As Kokichi landed on the roof tile running, he yelled out, “ I’m sure there’s a better word for you out there than sucker!”

He turned around, sticking his tongue out at the broken window, before sliding his mask back onto his face.

He may have been escaping, but it occured to Kokichi Ouma that he had lost for the first time in this little game of theirs. The thought made him giddy. It made his feet light on the roof top tile. It made him puff out a thousand tiny laughs behind the plastic shape of his face.

It made him totally, definitely not bored. --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Don't Instigate Cats (2019) Expatiation” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss: I’m bored of Taiwan already :/

Boss: We should go somewhere else (ﾉ✧w✧)ﾉ*:･ﾟ🗺

* * * Several people are typing... --- [Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hey

Asshole

From: Me

…

Should I respond to that?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You’re goddamn right you should respond to that when I tell you to you dumb avocado looking motherfucker

From: Me

Whoa

What’d I do this time?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You sent a useless emo prick to my door and now he won’t leave

From: Me

What

Did Shuichi do something wrong

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yeah

He was born

From: Me

Whoa

Miu take a breath

What happened

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

His boyfriend broke into my lab and tried to fucking kill keebs

From: Me

His boyfriend?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yea

Clown twink ass motherfucker

From: Me

You mean like

The internationally wanted criminal clown he’s tracking down

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You know whats internationally wanted

These tits

From: Me

Lol ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

That jerk off is just a rando asshole

He tried to kill keebo!

From: Me

Oh yikes is he ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Well of course i fucking took care of him because im a bomb ass friend

But that suckhara guy was no help

He tried to convince me to check the fucking security cameras so he could go off and flirt with the guy about to decapitate keebs!

From: Me

I mean he probably had a good reason to want you to check the cameras right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

No he’s just fucking awful and now he won’t leave rantarou make him leave

He broke my window and my hammer and only got back 23 of my EMP bombs

And now the police are here

From: Me

That sounds really stressful Miu

Wait how many bombs did you have before

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

From: Me

So he stopped most of your bombs from getting stolen

Also you have bombs?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Get him to leave he won’t leave

He keeps waiting for like interracial pole dancers to come or some fucking thing

From: Me

Do you mean like

Interpol

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

He won’t leave I want him to leave

From: Me

Miu you know I love you like a sister and i totally believe this is as stressful to you as it seems

But I think things may not be so bad?

Not to say what you’re going through right now isn’t totally valid

But things might look better if you got back to bed and caught some z’s

Did you remember to take your meds?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Aw shit

Aw fuck

You’re right

Ugh

Uggghghh

From: Me

Hey it happens to the best of us

If you do think Shuichi should leave in the morning when the cops are gone that’s totally up to you

It’s your lab and you have a right to say who should be in it

Just don’t make a decision like that when you need to sleep you know

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if i ask him to go and then he doesn’t go

From: Me

He doesn’t have a choice, you get to tell him

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if he’s mean to me

Cute people are always mean to me

From: Me

Miu…

Go to bed...

#shuichi x kokichi #shuichi saihara #shuichi danganronpa #kokichi ouma #kokichi danganronpa #oumasai #saiouma #fanfiction #Phantom Thief AU #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #writing #i am gay

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everyandanythingimagines · 6 years ago

Text

New Year’s Day | N.C

Warnings: use of alcohol? (idk if that is a warning), I guess angst

Word Count: 3341

Summary: Based on ‘New Year’s Day’ by T-swizzle :)

A/N: sooo yeah long break but I’ve been writing again... btw not my song, it’s by Taylor Swift. BASICALLY this one is I guess special to me bc it’s somewhat true. ngl I don’t know if I got the interpretation of this song right, but this is how I saw it. Some parts were altered a bit to fit the song better but right when I heard it I just HAD to make it an imagine. also plz request lol thanks for reading hope u enjoy

*not my gif and it somewhat fits idk not really nvm*

SIDE NOTE: There are a lot of time jumps so here is a guide if you are lost... Italics are from New Years Eve, normal is the day after and on, and bold is lyrics. enjoy

There's glitter on the floor after the party

Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby

You woke up on new years day with the biggest smile on your face. Reminiscence of the night before still plays in your mind. You threw a party in your apartment with just a few of your closest friends. Somehow word got out that the oh so popular ‘Peter Kavinsky’ was going to be partying at your place and a whole bunch of girls, that you were 100% sure that they did not like you before this party, showed up. Probably trying to get lucky with him or any of his close friends. The both of you had mutual friends, and over time all of you had become one tight friend group.

Since yesterday was New Years Eve, everyone had been drinking and dancing. It was only 10 pm when everyone had started to party. You remember bits and pieces of that night, but the most important memories weren’t forgotten.

There was noise coming from the room next to you, some people had spent the night at yours due to their lack of ability to walk/drive home. You got up to check who it was and it was only just a few girls carrying their stuff in their hands trying to sneak out. They smile at you and thank you for inviting them, which was funny because some of them weren't.

Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

You and me from the night before, but

Your friend, Morgan, came up to you as she was leaving, “Happy New Year girl! I thought you would want this!” She says. You look down at her hand and it’s a photo of you and Noah from yesterday. He looked amazing in his jeans and black button-up shirt, his hair was gelled yet slightly messy.

“Thanks!” unable to contain a smile on your face just thinking about the both of you from last night, “Do you wanna stay for a bite? I can make something?” You asked her.

“Yeah sure, I’ll stay and recover a bit more because last night was WOW,” she laughs, “so, you and Noah huh?” you turn to her and she’s wiggling her eyebrows. What happened was amazing, but you didn’t know what was going to happen next. All you thought about was last night and everything but the future between you two.

You had this crush on Noah for a while now, there was non stop texting between the both of you. People kept telling you that maybe the feelings were mutual, but it felt too good to be true. Noah was this amazing actor and you were this ordinary girl who he met through mutual friends. How would a relationship even work if this were to happen?

Don't read the last page

But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong

Or we're making mistakes

Throughout the whole party, you and Noah were inseparable. Everything you did, he did and everything he did, you did. From playing harmless drinking games to sitting on the sofa cuddling and chatting nonstop. There were definitely glares thrown at the pair, but at your drunken state, you thought it was nothing. When you had become separated from Noah, you saw a few of your friends Victoria, Christina, and Gabby, talking in a corner.

You went up to them to see how they are doing, “Hey guys! What are you up to?” they immediately put on fake smiles. The last bit of ‘sober Y/N’ had thought this was weird, but the ‘drunk Y/N’ didn't think anything of it.

“Oh, just resting from this non-stop dancing! Nice party by the way!” They answer. At some point during this awkward exchange, you saw Vic’s eyes flash to Noah quickly. That’s when it all clicked, Noah had asked Victoria out months ago but she had rejected him because she “wasn’t ready” so why does she care now?

You brush off that thought and continue making your rounds to check if it’s getting too chaotic. As you do this your mind floats back to Victoria and Noah, “Maybe this isn’t okay” you think to yourself, “I didn’t think Vic and Noah were a big deal, maybe they are and this is a mistake” Your eyes find Noah’s, "or maybe not.".

I want your midnights

It was only 10 minutes till midnight, you had gathered everyone to the main area with the projector setup displaying the famous ball drop in New York. Noah had found you dancing with the rest of the group. Everyone partied like nothing else mattered. Dancing, drinking, and capturing moments people probably won’t remember tomorrow, if it wasn’t for cameras.

Time had flown by and the countdown from 30 seconds had started. Your heart was racing, you didn’t know what was going to happen. Sure you and Noah had been talking nonstop but does he really like you? It all comes down to this moment.

Noah’s hand found yours

You look around at your surroundings

But all you see is this beautiful brunette

The both of you is still counting together

Everyone else starts to fade…

Then the music….

He pulls you closer

You smile at him

Both of you start leaning in

1…

You kiss.

“Smile you two!” Morgan says. Noah ends the kiss first, smiling towards the Polaroid camera and you follow.

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

You heard a knock on your door as you were in the middle of looking for some food.

“You get it, I’ll look for something to eat for us,” Morgan said, you smile and thank her. As you walk towards the door you pick up a bunch of empty bottles that were scattered all throughout your apartment.

“Hey! Happy New Year!” You greet, struggling to hold the bottles you had picked up. You look up to meet Noah’s eyes. He looked great considering how much he drank the night before and so did you, but then again you never get hangovers. He chuckles at you struggling and immediately helps you with a few bottles. “Thanks, come on in!” as you invite him in, Morgan sees him and gives you a look. You roll your eyes at her and drop the bottles in the recycling bin.

“Hey! How was your night?” Morgan winks and Noah greets her back. Morgan then looks to you, “ I couldn’t find food I want to eat so I’m going to head out to get us food, Noah do you want anything?” Morgan offers. He replies with a no thank you as he continues helping you clean up the bottles.

“Alright sounds good, I’ll just have what you are having,” You reply to her. She grabs her keys, winks at you and heads out the door. Silence filled the air as you both continued on cleaning. You didn’t know what to say and neither did Noah, he looked troubled, not knowing what to say.

As Noah placed the final bottle in the bin, he turned to you, “Look, Y/N, obviously I need to clear something up here…” Noah trailed off. Your heart was beating a thousand miles per hour, this didn’t sound so good. “You are very pretty, smart, and nice, but I don’t feel for you like as a relationship or anything like that type of thing,” Noah added, your heart dropped and you didn’t know how to reply. Noah continued, “ Yesterday was definitely a mixed signal for you and I feel awful about it…” You wanted to say something but you didn’t know what to say. You felt angry, betrayed, and devastated. So many things were running through your head. How could he do this to you?

You wanted to know what was going through his mind this whole time, it doesn’t make any sense, it wasn’t just last night that he had been flirting with you. The flirting had been going on for about a month now, why the sudden change?

“I have been in the same situation only it was the other way around and it sucked. I’m so sorry for everything I just wanted to let you know before things went too far.” the guilty boy finally finished his speech. You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

Eventually, you managed to put words together, “Yeah… I feel like that was just because we were both drunk … And don’t worry about it, you’re a good guy” you finally raise your eyes at him. “ I’m not gonna lie when we first met I was kinda into you, but I like us better as friends. I don’t want things to be weird with us after last night…” you lie, you’re trying hard to keep as much dignity you have left and brush off his confession as if it didn’t affect you. But it had, and you were crushed.

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

Your close friends had arrived early to have a fancy dinner before the party had started. Sadly, Noah had a last minute shoot for his upcoming movie. By the time everyone had finished dinner, Noah had finished, he just texted you that he was on his way over. Your friends helped you clean up before people came to avoid anything breaking. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, you ran to the door and opened it. It was Noah, he still had a bit of makeup on from the shoot that you could tell he had tried to rub off.

“I like your makeup!” You laugh at his attempt to take off his makeup.

Noah sheepishly rubs his face. “I can handle this stuff for shoots and stuff, but daily? Dang woman! How do you do this?” He complains to you. You offer him some makeup remover wipes and he gladly accepts. You take him upstairs to your washroom and give him the wipes.

“Do you need help taking it off? Or can you handle that yourself?” You tease him.

“Well I mean if you need an excuse to come closer then okay…” he says in a seductive voice.

“Come on! You could've done better than that!” You laugh at Noah's attempt to flirt with you. You grab the wipes from his hand as he sits on the counter, your body is in between his legs as he rests his hands on your waist. The sound of your heart pounding was loud, you were sure the Noah could hear it over the both of you talking about each others day.

As you finish taking off his makeup, the both of you stare into each other's eyes, your faces slowly inch closer together. “Hey, you two! Come down here before everyone arrives!” you could hear one of your friends shout from outside the washroom. The both of you jump separating yourselves a bit, but still not letting go of each other.

“Maybe we should join them…” Noah trails off as his eyes flicker from yours to your lips.

There’s glitter on the floor after the party

“Thanks for understanding” Noah smiles at you. You look into his eyes and you were confused. You could see guilt and sadness in his eyes, but what made you confused was when you could see a hint of regret. Not like he regretted what you two had experienced, but as if he didn't want to be rejecting you and he regrets doing this, there had to be more than he isn't telling you. He told you that he wanted to end this and that he didn’t want you, so why are his eyes saying something else? The pair stays silent for a while as you process things and cleaning the tabletops to keep you both occupied. “I should get going now…” Noah says as he finishes wiping down the surface of your tables. “I have to video chat my parents later…” he awkwardly shuffles to the door. Noah had always been open with you from the beginning. The second time you guys hung out he told you how hard it was being in a different country as his parents, especially when he had to move away so young. Although he finds it embarrassing that he calls his mom every day, you found it sweet.

“Yeah, no problem. Thanks for stopping by,” you say as you go to open the door. You both exchange goodbyes before you shut the door. Suddenly your vision became blurry from the tears building up in your eyes, you leaned your back against the wall and slid down on the floor. You don’t know how long you were there for, but you were playing every single moment you two had together. How could this happen? It seemed like the feelings you had for each other were mutual, but you were mistaken.

When you recovered from your mini shut down, you look around the room. There was glitter everywhere on the floor and stuck to your body. You felt empty, even though you told Noah you still wanted to be friends, how were you supposed to go back to normal. You didn’t even know what ‘normal’ was for you guys, the majority of the time knowing him it was always flirting. One thing you knew was that you had to clean up and put everything in the past.

The door opened and in came Morgan, “Y/N? Are you okay? What happened?” she asked all worried. When she left you were with Noah all happy, but now you’re not and he’s not here.

Please don't ever become a stranger

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

~time skip~

It has been a few months since New Years and you finally recovered. It took you a while to get over Noah, your friends practically had to drag you out of bed so you could go out with them. As the days went on it got easier to not think about the stunning brunette and it felt great. You were more mad than anything. Sadly, you never patched up that friendship with him and got back to the way things were, but you were okay with that. Since the both of you were in the same friend group you still had to see him, at first it was awkward but you both got over it. However, you never had a one on one conversation since that day.

You were currently bowling with a few of your friends having a great time. Everyone was happy now that you were back to normal.

“Okay! Loser buys a round of shots for us at the club later!” Morgan challenges, everyone laughs and agrees. It was girls night and you all were planning on getting wasted with a possibility of meeting an eligible bachelor.

“You guys are going down!” You shout, you walk up to the lane and start prepping. Suddenly you hear a laugh a few lanes down from you, it was pretty crowded and loud but you could never forget one of your favorite laughs. You turn to face where the noise came from, your mind was right, it was Noah.

There were multiple times you saw him after New Years, but this time was different. You saw him with Christina, and it wasn’t just a hangout, his arm was around her plus they clearly were flirting. You pointed them out to your friends and some of them were shooting you looks to see that you’re okay, but others were mad that Noah just practically hit up all the girls in your friend group.

It wasn’t until after Noah told you off that you found out that he had chatted up all your friends, which was disgusting considering that you all were in the same circle of friends. By the time you had found that out about him, you were done with it. You would still deal with being ‘friends’ with him still, he hurt you all and that wasn’t right.

At first, when you found out you didn’t believe it, he was so sweet and caring, how could he do it? But he did. There was still some part of you deep inside that felt for him and seeing him with Christina hurt. She was the last person you would expect to do this, none of you saw it coming. What hurt, even more, was that he promised once that he would take you bowling. One day you sent him a snap of your bowling score and he had challenged you, he didn’t say it would be a date, but you thought it could be one. However, he never took you.

And I will hold on to you

It was nearing the end of the night, you and your close friends were all sat on the sofas laughing about old stories of each other. Noah’s arm was around you leaning on each other, everyone was tired and sobered up. Which made sense since you all started partying at 8. The party had calmed down, mostly everyone went home or to another party spot when they figured out their chance with Noah was basically impossible. As everyone broke into their own conversations, Noah turned to you, “I should go… I had a great time, tonight was unexpected but good,” he smiled as he started to get up.

“Me too! Thanks for coming!” You said. He pulled you into a tight hug like you both were savoring it. The rest of the boys stood up as well saying their goodbyes. You lead them to the door and took one last polaroid before they left.

You smiled at them, you could tell that he was happy, he used to have those eyes whenever you were around. It feels like there should have been more to what has happened, but you will never know. There are some things you will never understand and one of them is the whole truth of what happened between you two. It hurts but you had to let him go, maybe he was the right person at the wrong time or maybe not. All you know is that something felt right between you two to just let him go.

You took a deep breath, “goodbye Noah…” you whispered as threw your ball down the lane. You turn around walking back to your spot, Gabby’s face drops.

“Aw man! Okay, drinks on me tonight!” She yells, “but we’re having a rematch next time!” She challenges. You were confused, you thought were in last behind Gabby, but that was until you looked up at the screen and saw you got a strike. You smile and finish your turn.

“Okay, who is ready to party?” You say as everyone starts getting ready to leave. You walk to the counter returning your shoes then head towards the exit. You pause and hesitate before turning around to get one last look at Noah. Your eyes met his brown ones that had already been on you, both of you had this look in your eyes. Everything that happened between the both of you will live in your memories, and there will definitely always be a place in your heart for him no matter how bad he could hurt you. Whether you had still a future together as friends, you don’t know, but you had to let him go.

So there you both were, staring at each other across the room, it was as if time had stopped. You gave him a slight nod and he returned it. This was it, the ending of you two as a couple, the closure you finally needed.

“Y/N C'mon! We are going to miss all the cute guys!” Morgan said snapping you out of your last moment with Noah. You laugh and ran outside to the car. From that point on, Noah was the last thing on your mind for the rest of the night.

#noah centineo #noah centineo imagine #noah centineo x reader #tatbilb #peter kavinsky #peter kavinsky imagine #noah #sbial #jamey #imagine

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starchild--27 · 6 years ago

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85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake . This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do.

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long

36. do you have a crush on someone - if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

#tag game

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friendlyneighborhoodborg · 6 years ago

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Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 3: Favorite Ship| “Couples Villainy”

Sorry I was later than usual today. School dragged today. But I swear, I’m gonna finish this all by Saturday’s deadline. Even if I have to post days 4-6 on day 7, I will finish on time.

Alright, time for some more loosely-interpreted prompts. This one, “Favorite Ship.” Well, I hope it’s obvious by now who I ship Marc with, so today I’ve made the prompt about shipping in general. This is a thinly-veiled excuse for not really doing the actual requested prompt.

Disclaimers were in Day 1. And btw, here’s about where that warning about dysphoria comes in, and where I need y’all to tell me if I’m handling it right.

(~2000 words (Holy Crap) in case you care)

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

The third day of their collaboration was technically the first, being the first day either of them got any work done on the comic. They had spent the school day texting each other ideas for the story, so that when it came time to meet up in the art room after school, they had completely conflicting concepts of what they wanted to do.

Especially the villains to use.

“I still think bringing in Frightingale and Guitar Villain together would be awesome.”

“Thematically, sure,” Marc argued. “But think of the power-sets. They don’t really go together- Frightingale freezes, Guitar Villain makes them dance.” He scribbled something else down in his notes. “Consider powers that could play into each other or compliment each other.”

They sat in the back corner of the room, hunched over one table with their voices low. Marc had noticed Nathaniel’s classmates come in later, and his friend had introduced them as they did. Rose and Juleka were on the side of the room, Rose with a little notebook of poetry and Juleka with her bass guitar. Alix was spray-painting a wall (hopefully with the school’s permission), and the art teacher whose name escaped him watched her warily (suggesting it wasn’t). More spray cans were stacked near where Juleka was sitting. Marinette, the only face Marc knew in this club, was absent from the meeting.

“Such as?” prompted Nath.

“Well, I can’t actually think of any yet.” He pursed his lips. “Dark Cupid and Glaciator?”

“One breaks up love, one freezes the resultant single people.” Nathan shook his head. “You see, that almost sounds kinda gimmicky.”

“You got a better idea?”

“We don’t need to pair them up.” He tore off another sheet from his sketchpad. “Why don’t we let Puppeteer loose in a toy store? If she finds an action figures section, maybe with the heroes’ figures in it…”

Marc looked across at him. “Dude,” he said. “That’s crazy awesome. But how on earth would the heroes beat her after that?”

“With the aid of a brand-new, never-before-seen and therefore unfranchised hero.” Nath grinned smugly. “See? I can be clever, too.”

Even Marc had to laugh at that. “Cool. But Puppeteer’s pretty powerless on her own, she’d need a way to get her allies right off the bat. Does Marinette still make those villain dolls?”

Nathaniel slapped his page in defeat. “No,” he said. “I remember now, I asked her that before.” At Marc’s questioning look, he explained. “I was trying to work Puppeteer into a different story. Forget that one then.”

“Back to our first problem, then.”

“It occurs, this is kind of how I work normally.” The redhead chuckled lightly. “I get too many ideas that I have to thin them out. Which sucks, cause I think they’re all good, but I don’t want to do them all.” He waved a hand dismissively. “So, uh, welcome to my brain, I guess.”

“Heh.” Marc bit his lip anxiously. “I don’t know if you noticed, but your pink friend is standing right there, listening in.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes and turned to face the intruder. “I told you, Rose, I’m not spoiling it.”

“Come on,” the girl moaned. “Your stories are so interesting, Nathaniel, I really want to see what you’re working on.”

“Right now, we’re not working on anything,” Marc pointed out. “We can’t even decide which villains we want to use in this story.”

Nath had an idea. “Why don’t you help?”

“What?” Rose gasped in delight. “You want me to help with the story?”

“Sure. We can’t agree on anything. What do you want to see?”

“Oh, geez,” she gushed. “This is so cool! I get to pick the story!”

“Hey,” piped Marc, looking at his partner. “Are you sure about this?”

“Couldn’t hurt. This is just brainstorming, after all.”

He shrugged. “Fine. Rose, you got any ideas?”

“I’ve got it! You should have a couples’ team-up.” She clapped her hands together and rocked back on her heels. “Then even the villains can get a romantic subplot.”

“But…” Marc scrunched his face. “As villains? But they won’t remember anything.”

“Trust me,” Rose assured. “I’ve seen it loads of times before. Nothing brings two people together like a supervillain rampage.” She sighed dreamily. “So romantic.”

“If you say so.”

“I’m serious!”

“Rose has a point.” Alix agreed, finishing a yellowish streak on her wall. “We know a lot of couples who got together after one of them went butterfly. Rust!” Without even looking up from tuning her guitar, Juleka threw the requested color over to her. “Even the first one we had, over a year ago, Stoneheart. The whole reason he got corrupted was ‘cause he couldn’t spit out his crush and he was getting picked on for it. Ivan and Mylène have been sickeningly saccharine ever since.”

“And,” Rose added, “don’t forget, they had their first kiss after Mylène was akumatized.”

“ ‘Scuse me,” Marc butt in. “This is the same Mylène that’s in that play with her dad?”

“Uh-huh.”

“She and her boyfriend have been akumatized?”

“Yep. Her dad, too.”

“Cripes.” Marc surveyed the room. “You know, there’s a lot of rumors that come from your guys’ class.”

“We’re aware,” Alix drawled, dropping her current can for a silver can in the row next to her.

“So?” Nath waited for his partner’s approval. “Couples?”

“Well…” Marc gave in. “That’s still a better idea than what we’ve got.” He turned up to Rose again. “Have anyone in mind?”

“Do Mylène and Ivan!” She frowned suddenly. “Or no, wait, Ondine and Kim! No, Nino and Alya!”

Marc blinked. “You know an awful lot of past akumas.”

“Well, everyone in our homeroom has been akumatized, so…” She nodded. “Yeah, we know a lot.”

Marc gaped, aghast. “E-everyone?”

“Well, all but two.” Rose suddenly found herself conflicted. “Oh, no, I’m rooting for them to get together, but I don’t want them to get akumatized…”

“How have all of you gotten akumatized!?” he exclaimed. “I’ve heard of your class, I thought you were the ones with the big emotional support thing going on!”

“Well, that was only after we got akumatized,” Alix explained. She squinted. “Whose idea for a word was ‘akumatized?’ That’s such a mouthful.”

“Okay.” Exasperated, he threw up his hands. “Seriously, what’s the deal here with your class?”

“Well.” Alix slid off her mask and stepped back to appraise her wall. “You ever met Chloé Bourgeois?”

Marc tilted his head. “Once or twice. Wasn’t she that kinda bratty girl who failed superhero-ing so badly she only got her second chance so she’d stop bragging about it?”

“Hah!” Alix shouted. “If only. No, she’s still bragging about it. Yellow!” She held out her hand, waiting for someone to toss it to her, until she realized it was already in the pile at her feet. “She’s in our homeroom, too. And she’s been the cause for… oh, I think everyone but Ivan, Max, Lila and Nino.” She uncapped the can and shook it. “Like, two-thirds, including the teacher, and not counting people outside our class.”

“Hang on,” Juleka challenged as Alix widened her yellow streak. “What about you?”

“I blame her indirectly. Dark Green!” She caught it without even looking at her. “You know, Rose, you didn’t get a girlfriend from your akuma. In fact, if I recall correctly from the zillion times you’ve told the story, you and Juleka going out had nothing to do with the supervillain drama.”

“Oh, yeah,” Rose realized. She thought about this for a moment, looking at Juleka as if appraising the foundation of their relationship. “Well, not every romance has to start like that, I guess.” She snapped her fingers. “Hey, but if you have Princess Fragrance in your big issue,” she leaned across the writers’ table for emphasis. “I’ve got a request.”

Nath rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, you want her to team up with Reflekta?”

“Heavens no!” She got back on her feet and lowered her voice. “Look, Juleka… doesn’t like Reflekta a lot. I mean, she’s gotten a lot better with making herself more visible, but…” She glanced back worriedly as Juleka stood up, having heard the conversation up to now. “It’s more out of resentment than anything else.”

“Resentment?” Marc repeated, confused. “How so?”

“Nathan got to weaponize his passion,” Juleka stated. “Rose was a twisted fairy-tale witch. Even Sabrina got poetic justice.” She crossed her arms, scowling to the side. “I just made people look different, and I was decked-out in fuchsia.”

Rose nodded, and added for Marc’s benefit, “She… hates fuchsia.”

“I would have looked killer in red.”

“Yep.”

“Or purple, my signature. Or I could have made pink creepy again.”

“I know.” Rose tried holding her arm, attempting to quell Juleka’s escalating tone. “We know, sweetie.”

“Just not all three of them.” She looked behind her, scanning the room. Marc noticed that the art teacher must have left the area moments ago. Juleka turned back. “Who’s fucking idea was it to take those colors and think, oh, let’s mix those together, that’s a nice shade. Let’s put it on this goth girl with heels and a fluffy rubber skirt.”

Rose winced at the swear. “She’s still not over it.”

“I had eyelash jewelry, Rose! No one can look threatening with eyelash jewelry!”

“I’m sorry you all have to see this. I swear, she hasn’t had this rant in months.”

“I…” Juleka looked back at the sound of the door opening and saw the art teacher come back. She lowered her voice to a grumble. “I mean, everyone got some awesome dark side alter ego, and I didn’t.” She started walking back to her bass. “I got the absolute bottom of the barrel.”

Everyone was still looking at Juleka after her outburst, so no one was looking at Marc.

Marc’s face was a deathly pale.

Words she had used flew through his head, replaying over and over and over.

‘Fuchsia.’

‘Heels.’

‘Fluffy Skirt.’

‘Eyelash Jewelry.’

‘Reflekta.’

‘Made people look different.’

“That was you?” Marc squeaked, slamming a hand over his mouth.

Rose looked at Marc strangely. “Are you alright, Marc?”

“I…” He tried to come up with an excuse. “Excuse me.”

He kept his head down as he escaped the classroom, choking down something threatening to come up from his stomach.

He kept his head down walking into the washrooms, struggling to bring his breathing back under control and calm his anxiety.

He only brought his head up to look at himself in the mirror.

‘Ugh, not him again.’

It was that feeling again. The one he didn’t have the right words for. The one that came on fast and strong, but left soon after.

He thought he knew what it was before, but he had been wrong.

Someone opened a stall behind him. Fine, let him look at the creep glaring at himself in the—

“Marc?” Marinette called out, voice laced with worry. “W-What are you doing here?”

Marc’s eyes widened in horror. “I—” he stammered, clutching his journal like a lifeline. “I’m sorry, I’m in the wrong—” He gave up trying to speak and he bolted.

And he ran out of the girls’ washroom and back outside into the courtyard.

And he fought down the pangs of hurt that told him no, he wasn’t in the wrong place.

And he didn’t stop until he was back at the art room.

“And anyway, he hasn’t been akumatized yet, but wouldn’t it be sweet if the Gamer went to him and—” Rose stopped her rambling when Marc re-entered, two events which were to Nath’s relief. “Oh, Marc, you’re back!” she chirped.

“Is something wrong?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Marc’s eyes widened and he corrected himself. “I mean, no, nothing’s wrong. Let’s uh…” He tried to remember what the conversation was. “Let’s do Rose’s first idea. Her and Juleka, but not with R—” he gulped, too many emotions cluttering up that name for him to mention safely. He managed to choke “Reflekta” out, and he hoped no one understood.

“Uh… sure.” Nath shrugged. “I’ve never tried making an akuma before.”

“Oooh,” Rose agreed. “That’s an even better idea. Let us know if you need help.”

Rose left to rejoin her girlfriend, and Marc meekly took his seat again, shakily opening his journal.

As Nathaniel started doodling up concepts, Marc sat across from him, doing nothing except idly rubbing his hands together.

His hands.

His arms. His neck. His chest. His legs. His face.

His him.

Why did it all suddenly make him want to scream?

Okay, this is the most rushed chapter yet, especially for being so long.

In this, I’m trying to write Marc as genderfluid (like Hope Morphin, the person he was based off of), but I’ve found during research that fluidity itself has a pretty loose definition, so I just picked one I thought would work. I’d like to hear some feedback over if I’m doing something insensitive or offensive; this fic is still being edited, there’s still time for me to change things.

Also, I’ve started cross-posting this to AO3, under the username “BenignCyborg��. I know Tumblr has a character limit for comments, so if you have something longer you can go there.

#miraculous ladybug #alix kubdel #marc anciel #nathaniel kurtzberg #rose lavillant #juleka couffaine #julerose #nathmarc #Marc Appreciation Week

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dreamboatdani · 3 years ago

Note

Tell me more about Zoey, I’m curious…

(Also, I am a part of the Zoni fan club-)

LMAO FANCLUB

this is going to be veryyyyyyyyyy long. (I have a whole document that i made on why she’s amazing + google slides-)

but I’ll just write about her here.

————————————————————

When I first met Zoey, which was abt 2 years ago, i thought that she was one of those ‘aesthetic’ girls who seemed chill enough. But once she told me that she liked natsuki from DDLC, i was like “OMG YOU ARE NOW ONE OF MY BESTIES” and she said “i like cupcakes getting stuffed down my throat” (she’s so iconic)

and being the weird-ass person i was back then, me and my friends did a DDLC rp thing in school and online. We literally had a whole gc called ‘the lit club’. My friend who was sayori didnt want to be added because they didn’t like gcs lmao

anyways, Zoey was natsuki and her crush, who was a dude and my friend, was Yuri. And y’all know natsuri…

um anyways

zoey was in my gym class and whenever i saw her, i was like “HEY IT’S THE GIRL FROM MY GYM CLASS!!! :D” and she’s like “yeah,,,ok”

and when i broke up with my gf (who is now one of my besties), she kept calling me traitor because she was part of the fan club of shipping me and my gf that some of our friends created. I broke up with my gf because after 5 months, i saw her as only a friend, and was crushing on someone else- (and i was gonna move in like June, and long distance relationships were tricky)

i dated my crush for a week and then didn’t like her anymore so uh yeah- I’m such a great person-

so then COVID came, after spring break.

zoey and i would literally spam the counseling google classroom page, because- yes- she talked a lot abt Steven universe and i talked abt DDLC, And the counselor deleted a post we responded to that was abt board games (our answers were not sane)

And i ended up not moving in June because COVID was reaaaaally bad.

i was going to move in October which meant i got to hang out with Zoey the upcoming school year :)

oh btw I didn’t go back into the building after spring break- COVID was hella bad in texas (where i lived b4)

So august comes, first day of school was a mess since the login to your email or whatever crashed and didn’t work until school had ended lmao

i was panicking- my mom said everyone was experiencing it so CALM DOWN JESUS

okay so

i was writing a sayonika fanfic on Wattpad and asked Zoey if she wanted to help me, and she said okay-

oh! If you wanna read it, you can go on my other wattpad acc Just1Monika2 to read it!

at first she said she didn’t like sayonika and i lied saying I didn’t as well, but when she saw what i was writing abt, she’s like “I THOUGHT YOU DIDNT LIKE SAYONIKA-“ and i said “OH OOPS-“

she ended up making the cover and i loved it

THEN

in october

my parents said I was going back in person and it was 2 weeks before i was gonna move

what a literal miracle istg

so then the night before i went back in, Zoey actually texted me that she was going back in the building too but I didn’t see her message smh, but the next day, at lunch, i saw her waving at me like crazy- at first i was like who is that girl- and when she ran over to me, I’m like “ZOEEEE3EEEEEEYEYEYEYEEY”

yeah

my friend who was sitting with me was so confused, i felt bad for him lmao

So then Zoey said she was gonna go back to sit with her other friends but she would sit with me tomorrow and im like ok!!

NOW

HERE’S WHEN THINGS GET INTERESTING

I literally don’t know how but i started to have a crush on her

its prob bcuz i was hanging out with her a lot-

and she said to me one time that she wasn’t ‘hungry for food~”

i was like, zamnnnnnn you wanna fuck me or smth?

she said yes.

and she was sTRaiGHT at the time.

so then at lunch she took out her cross necklace and pointed it at me-

girl- you started it <333

so then when i confessed to her

”uhhhhh dddijwidhdhi” - Zoey 2020

she said

that

she

would

kiss

IN A PRIVATE PLACE

AND THAT ENDED UP BEING IN THE DANCE ROOM WITH NO ONE IN THERE EXCEPT ME AND HER

yeah sure ur straight after saying that

she even, SHE EVEN ASKED ME WHAT THE SHIP NAME WAS MONIKA AND NATSUKI AND I SAID MONSUKI AND THEN SHE HELD MY HAND AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

calm down

I THEN ASKED MY FRIEND IF A STRAIGHT GIRL CAN KISS A PANSEXUAL GIRL (referring to me and Zoey but I’m not a girl anymore <3) AND THEN THEY SAID SURE

like when she kissed me

WDKSJCHEWKIBKCEDIEBCDFIBEDC BEST FUCKIN DAY OF MY LIFE

i am the reason on why. She. Is. Not. Straight. Anymore.

alright.

this ended up being long- this was a rant 😎😎😎

#ask #anon #long post #tw caps #tw swear #zoey <3 #me awkwardly spacing out the shorter sentences-#so it’s easier to read-#thank you for coming to my ted talk about why Zoey is amazing

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fucking-zawa-sensei · 7 years ago

Text

Don’t Kid Yourself: Chapter 4 - I Take It All Back

Pairing: Erasermic – Shouta Aizawa|Eraserhead/Hizashi Yamada|Present Mic

Categories: pining, unrequited love, slow burn, angst, very very slow burn

Word Count: 5,000+

Summary: The repercussions from their conversation in the car follows Aizawa and Yamada throughout the rest of their week. Something makes Yamada distant and Aizawa tries to ask questions without breaking boundaries.

Notes: Chapter 5, the one after this, will be the last angst heavy chapter of this fic (there will be some sprinkled in here and there, but nothing like the past few). It will focus on Yamada’s POV for the days and events covered in the below chapter. This is why he is intentionally vague here. Everything will be answered in chapter 5. I am trying to get the ball rolling so I can stop torturing you in a couple chapters. I wanted this fic to feel genuine and true to life, so there is quite the slow build, but it will have erasermic eventually. Thanks for reading!

The previous chapter took place on Wednesday. I noticed my timeline might be a little confusing, so here’s the rundown: Monday - Ice cream date Tuesday - Yamada doesn’t talk to Aizawa Wednesday - Yamada doesn’t talk to Aizawa until after class in the car (I’m counting the “day time” portion of Wednesday as one of the two days Yamada gives him the silent treatment). This chapter starts Wednesday night. Aizawa POV.

Read it on AO3 here

Other Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

Chapter 4: I Take It All Back

Wednesday Night.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Aizawa’s phone shuffles a bit across the wooden top of his bedside table. He’s laid out on his stomach atop his bed covers, pillow comfortably stuffed under his upper chest, reading a book.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

He reaches over to pick up the phone and check who’s messaging him, but the display just shows an unknown number. He unlocks the screen and looks at the anonymous messages.

“Hey did something happen to Hizashi? He seems down.”

“This is Haru, btw. Sorry, he gave me your number a while back just in case!”

“In case of what?” Aizawa mumbles, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

With a groan, he types back, “We just had a talk, it’s fine.”

Imai’s response time is either impeccable, or he already had a pretty good idea of what was going on, because his reply comes only seconds later.

“About me?”

“No.”

“You, then? You and him?”

Aizawa shuts his book and places it on the nightstand. How much does Imai know about what happened between Hizashi and me? Aizawa thinks, trying to figure out how best to respond.

“Yeah,” is the simple message he shoots back, rolling over to face the ceiling and wait for what he knows will be just another incredibly awkward conversation. At this point, Aizawa’s beginning to feel like that’s all the talking he’s capable of doing anymore. That and exasperatedly begging teenagers to not get themselves killed for just one week.

His phone vibrates again where he has it resting between his hand and his chest. He lifts it up to see what Imai has to say.

“Why is he so sad?” Aizawa’s eyebrows raise a bit in surprise. I thought for sure he’d go straight to digging about our relationship.

“Beats me,” Aizawa replies.

“Come on, that can’t be true. I’m worried about him.”

Aizawa hesitates to respond, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. He didn’t particularly want to rehash their whole conversation to Imai.

“Why don’t you just ask him?” he asks. Surely, the dream team was capable of communicating.

“I tried, he doesn’t want to talk.”

Aizawa frowns. Interesting.

“Then wait until he does, it’s not my place to say if he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Aizawa waits for a response, but it seems Imai has accepted his reasoning, falling silent. Aizawa closes down his messaging app and taps his gallery open, then his downloads folder, before opening up the orange kitten in the lion’s mane costume Yamada had sent him a few days ago to cheer him up. Aizawa smiles at the picture, honestly, it was cute.

He rolls back over to his stomach, grabbing his book again, but stops before flipping back to the page he’d been on. Picking up his phone, he copies the little kitten picture into a new message to Yamada and sends it off.

Aizawa doesn’t get another message until he’s 3 and a quarter more chapters into the book and his eyes are getting a little drier than normal. He’s considering just calling it a night, but he kind of wants to finish this chapter. He’s rubbing at his right eye when his phone vibrates and lights up on the pillow next to him.

He looks at the screen and sees this time it says “Hizashi” on the preview with a little unread envelope and 2 new messages next to it.

“Thanks! :D”

I thought you were supposed to be sad.

The other message is another picture. This time of a fluffy yellow duckling cuddled up with a sleeping black cat. Aizawa saves the attachment.

“Cute.” is all he texts back, a small smile starting on his face. He shakes it off. This feels too weird. He’s just pretending it’s okay again.

Yamada sends another picture of someone poking the tiny toe beans of a tabby cat.

“I want a cat! :(“ comes Yamada’s follow up text. Aizawa starts typing out a message about how he can just come play with his cat, Mai, but thinks better of it and deletes the whole thing. If Yamada’s really feeling better, he should be talking to Imai, not him.

“Get one then, you’re an adult.”

“Come with me to a shelter sometime?”

Aizawa would love to go to a shelter and help Yamada find a cat. He can’t think of something better than being surrounded by adorable adoptable cats and watching Yamada grin and melt as he plays with all of them, but adopting a cat seems an awful lot like something people should do with their partners. Especially when they live with them.

“Shouldn’t you pick one out with Imai?”

Aizawa has to wait several minutes before Yamada finally answers.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“He texted me, you know.” Aizawa isn’t really sure he should be calling Imai out, but it’s not like they talked about anything secret.

“What?! Really?!” comes Yamada’s first message, quickly followed by another.

“Shouta, I’m so sorry, and after I said I’d tone it down…”

“I told you that you don’t need to do that,” Aizawa rolls his eyes. He did not want to rehash their fight on a platform he’d actively have to delete it from. It was hard enough trying to get it out of his mind. Aizawa looks back down to his book, still not finished with the chapter. I should have just said he could come play with Mai and left it alone.

“I know. Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Aizawa sends.

“What did he want?”

“He wanted to know what was wrong with you.”

“Oh.”

Oh? That’s it? Aizawa thinks. Guess that answers my question. He didn’t talk to him. Then why is he acting better?

Aizawa glances at the clock, which reads 11:17 PM. He doesn’t usually go to bed this early, but he also doesn’t usually have this much free time to go to bed this early. He might as well take it. He’d been the one to help Yamada for most of his life, but now he had someone else, so Aizawa decides gently pushing him into talking to his partner is probably for the best.

“I’m going to bed, see you tomorrow.” He types out and sends to Yamada. It’s met with a picture of a cat wearing a nightcap and tucked into a tiny bed.

“Sleep well, Shouta.” A little red heart and a microphone emoji is sent with the final message. Love, Mic. Yamada had been ending any conversations that led into either of them going to bed like that for many years. It had been a few months since Aizawa had bowed out of a conversation for rest, though. He almost considers opening up his own emojis to see if there’s an eraser, but decides to let it go. He sets his phone on the nightstand, along with his sadly unfinished book, and turns off the light.

---

Thursday.

Aizawa doesn’t see Yamada at work the next day. He knows the voice hero is in the school, though, because the kids are all still going to English class and leaving without any gossip or questions floating around the halls. There’s even a stack of graded pop quizzes on his desk in the staff room when he stops there to eat lunch. They’re English quizzes, which honestly could be the work of a substitute, but the grades all have accompanying smiling, frowning, or halfway between faces doodled beside them. There’s even one that looks like it’s puking. They might as well be signed, “Graded by Mic.”

Aizawa glances around the staff room. Midnight and Cementoss are the only other two in the room. Kayama glances up from her lunch.

“What’s bugging you?” she asks.

“Where’s Mic?”

She shrugs, looking back down at her food. “He was here earlier.”

“Where is he now?”

She looks up at him, raising one eyebrow. “Why are you so worried about where he is?”

Aizawa gives her the best bored expression he can manage. “It’s unusual that he’s not here.”

“Maybe he’s at lunch with Haru,” she says, but it’s not malicious. She’s frowning, eyes downcast. Kayama had been half the reason Aizawa had enough guts to finally confess to Yamada. Aizawa knew she’d felt a great deal of guilt when he’d gone to her apartment that night he’d confessed, shaking with anger and hurt. He’s not resentful and had expressed that a number of times. In the end, it had been his decision, but Kayama had always been rather outspoken about her feelings. The whole event had put a strain on her as well.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Aizawa pulls out his chair and moves the stack of quizzes over to the side. They all eat in silence.

Aizawa doesn’t run into Yamada at all the rest of the day.

---

The next day is Friday, and it starts much the same as the previous. No signs of Yamada.

Again, he knows he’s here somewhere. He’d casually asked the students if they were prepared for all of their upcoming assignments or if they needed a study period, fishing for information, and was readily obliged by Iida. The boy gave an emphatic run down of their upcoming tests and projects, including a presentation in Yamada’s class today, which some of the students were more than a little panicked about if the way they nervously played with their pencils and looked down at their desks was any indication.

He’d decided to have mercy on them and allow them to use the homeroom period to practice their presentations on each other. He was a little surprised to find most of the class wasn’t actually too bad at English. Yaoyorozu was perhaps a little over prepared, but Jirou’s English could rival Yamada’s, sounding conversational and flowing well. Aizawa wondered if it had to do with the music they both listened to. He’d seen her in the dorms wearing t-shirts of American bands that he knew Yamada also owned merch for.

After the free period, he walked out to give the classroom over to Midnight, but rather than stroll in with her confident walk as usual, she grabbed his elbow and pulled him to the side.

“He’s in the computer lab right now,” she whispered in his ear, then pushed him gently in the direction of that room. Before he could say anything, she was giving the class a cheery “Good morning!” and closing the door.

Now, Aizawa finds himself walking to the computer lab. He wasn’t sure why he really needed to see Yamada. They had nothing to talk about. Space was probably a good thing after the discussion they had in the car, but he kept thinking back to how Imai had seemed so worried, and the way Yamada had cried not once, but twice during their conversation. Aizawa knew why he was suffering, and knew the whole situation wasn’t easy on Yamada either, but he didn’t think Yamada would be this affected by it.

He slides the door to the lab open and finds it empty. He’s not really surprised. There are computers in the staff room, and the students are all in class now, so unless there is an in-class project calling for computers, they’re usually empty before the kids start filing in after class is over to type up papers and work on assignments. Aizawa turns around to leave, but spots a little tuft of blonde hair poking around the side of a desktop monitor a few rows back.

He approaches quietly, slowly. A few more steps down the aisle and he can see Yamada’s got his head resting on his arms atop the table, keyboard shoved to the side.

Is he sleeping? Here? Aizawa thinks. He’s usually the only one doing that.

He reaches out to tap Yamada’s shoulder pad and the blonde immediately raises his head. Not sleeping, then.

Yamada turns around to see who tapped him and his eyebrows shoot up a little when he sees Aizawa.

“Ah! Hey!” he says, straightening up in his chair. The leather on his arms makes a peeling noise as he moves. He’s been lying here a while, Aizawa thinks.

“What are you doing here?” Aizawa asks, looking at the blank computer screen. The little power light isn’t even blinking, which means it’s not asleep, rather, it was never turned on.

Yamada also looks at the screen, then back at Aizawa, scratching his chin a little.

“Uh? Contemplating the universe and life as we know it?”

“Ambitious.”

“You know me! A real go-getter! That’s what my mom always said!” Yamada jokes, pointing at himself with his thumbs.

Aizawa smiles a bit, then pulls out the chair next to Yamada to sit down. Yamada’s hands drop.

“What’s wrong?” Aizawa asks. Yamada sighs.

“That obvious?”

“You’ve been purposely avoiding me for almost two days and now you’re ‘contemplating life’ in the computer lab.”

Yamada smooths out his mustache and then readjusts his headphones a bit.

“Haru and I had a fight that night I was texting you.”

After? It seemed too late for them to fight after he’d said goodnight. Before, then...but he seemed happier than when we were talking in the car, not worse.

“And?” Aizawa asks.

“And I didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to talk to you about it,” Yamada shrugs, “so I ran, I guess.”

“You didn’t get very far…” Aizawa says, “Hizashi, I told you-”

“Not to pretend he doesn’t exist. Not to hide my feelings, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.” Yamada waves him off.

Aizawa frowns. Short fuse today.

“You’re giving me a lot of mixed rules here, Shouta. You don’t want to hear about cute stuff we do together, but you want to hear about the bad stuff?”

It doesn’t feel like a particularly fair way to word it, but he’s not wrong. Aizawa feels kind of guilty.

“I don’t know…” he answers, trailing off.

Yamada bites his bottom lip.

“I don’t want to talk about it either way,” Yamada says.

“Okay.”

“I know you said no about the shelter, but do you want to go to the cat cafe today instead?” Yamada asks. His voice is quiet, hesitant. Aizawa’s not sure why he’s asking that on a Friday, though. Yamada has his radio show and Aizawa is going on patrol. This happens every Friday, without exception.

“Hizashi, do you know what day it is?”

“Of course! It’s-” Yamada’s face very quickly goes from indignant to embarrassed, “it’s Friday…:

Aizawa nods.

“Saturday, then?” Yamada asks, hopeful.

Aizawa kind of feels like they could use some space after everything that’s happened this week, but Yamada seems determined to make plans together.

“Sure, Saturday. Not too early, though.”

“No, of course not. Like, 3?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great, I’m looking forward to it,” Yamada says, pushing away from the table to stand up.

Aizawa grabs the sleeve of his jacket.

“Hizashi...I know what I said in the car...but things got pretty heated. I don’t want you to think you have to hold everything in just to spare my feelings. You’re right, I didn’t really want to hear about dates you went on with Imai or things he did that you thought were cute, but if not hearing those things means I don’t hear from you...I’d much rather put up with it.” Aizawa looks up at Yamada, whose mouth is open just a tiny bit, eyebrows pulled together. “If you’re upset, you can talk to me about it. I’ll try to be unbiased.”

Yamada nods slowly, smiles.

“Thanks, Sho,” he says, patting the back of Aizawa’s hand with the hand that’s not being restrained by his grip. Aizawa lets go.

“I…” Yamada hesitates, “I’m not really sure I want to talk about it right now.”

Aizawa nods, getting out of his chair to follow Yamada out. Just as the blonde is about to step into the hall, Aizawa pulls on the back of his leather jacket’s high collar. Yamada jerks to a stop.

“Hey! What was that for?” he asks, turning around. Aizawa points up to Yamada’s tower of hair.

“You’ve got a piece falling down,” he says.

Yamada looks up as if he’s going to be able to see the mountain of hair atop his head.

“Where? Can you fix it?” he asks, turning like a dog looking for its tail.

“Yeah, hold still!” Aizawa says, grabbing his shoulder pads on one of the rotations. He reaches his hand up to smooth out the loose strands. They stick easily to the rest of their gelled up brethren. Yamada runs his hand over the spot Aizawa just touched, making sure it’s indeed intact.

“Thanks,” he says. “What would I do without you?”

“Mhm.” Aizawa hums, moving past him to leave the lab.

---

Saturday.

Aizawa’s alarm goes off at 12 PM and despite a full 8 hours, he still feels like he could sleep for 20 more. He hadn’t gotten back from patrol until 4:17 AM last night after some trouble with a gang of small villians who made friends with a troublesome girl who could control the wind. He still kind of felt like his ear drums were being buffeted with hurricane gusts. Aizawa slaps his hand down on the alarm to silence it and rolls over onto his back, rubbing at his eyes, then his temples, then just dragging his hands up and down his entire face.

Maybe I should just cancel plans with Hizashi.

As if summoned, his phone vibrates on the nightstand. Aizawa blearily reaches for it. The light blinds him for a couple seconds as his eyes adjust.

“Excited for the kitties? I am!”

Aizawa knows this is Yamada’s subtle reminder that he should get up. He rolls over to look for Mai, who he knows will be on the bed somewhere. He finds her curled up near his feet. He snaps a picture of her and sends it as his response.

“Perfect princess.” Yamada responds. A moment later, Aizawa gets another text.

“I’ll drive!”

Aizawa makes a face. He doesn’t have a car, which both Yamada and him know, but Yamada shares his with Imai, who typically uses it during the weekends to drive one town over for his production job. They’d been doing onsite shoots for some TV show for the past few months. While he worked in their town during the week, taking the train, Yamada always gave over his car for the long commute on the weekends.

“Is Imai done with that location shoot?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yamada replies, a thumbs up emoji accompanying it.

Deciding it’s not worth his effort, Aizawa gets out of bed to go shower and get dressed. He chooses some simple dark wash jeans and a black sweater for the day and lays them out on his bed.

---

Aizawa is lounging on his couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, waiting for Yamada. He glances at his phone again. The display reads 3:16 PM. He considers asking Yamada why he’s late, but figures if he’s in traffic, he doesn’t want to distract him.

He gets up to go get the book he’d been reading from his bedroom, making it halfway down the hall when his phone rings. He slips it out of his pocket.

“Hizashi?” he questions, staring at a picture of Yamada with his hair in a half-bun and a surprised smile spread across his lips as he claps his hands together in happiness. Aizawa had taken the candid photo a few years ago when they’d gone to a new specialty coffee shop for the blonde’s birthday. Aizawa had requested the barista draw a microphone surrounded by hearts and the words “Happy Birthday” into his latte.

He slides the answer button across the screen and holds it up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m so sorry!” Yamada’s words come out fast and loud.

“It’s fine, traffic is usually bad on Saturdays.”

“No, uh...I haven’t left yet.”

“Oh,” Aizawa responds, leaning against the wall. He hears Yamada sigh and some rustling on the other end. “Do you want me to just meet you there? I can take the train.”

“No. Shouta, I’m sorry,” Yamada says. Aizawa wants to tell him he’s getting really sick of apologies.

“You can’t come?”

“No…”

“Why?”

“Something came up-”

“No, Hizashi. Why?” Aizawa cuts him off.

There’s a long pause. Aizawa can hear Yamada breathing, then a thud that sounds distinctly like something hitting a wall.

“Haru.”

“What’s wrong with Imai?”

“Shit, Shouta.” Yamada hisses. Aizawa frowns. Yamada’s voice sounds desperate. “I...no. Let’s go to the cafe. I’m sorry, let’s go.”

“Hizashi.”

“Please,” Yamada begs. Aizawa’s chest feels tight. How could he say no to that?

“Fine, but let’s just meet there.” Aizawa suggests, not really interested in the forced privacy that comes with being in a car.

“Okay, I’m headed out now. I should be able to make the train at 3:30.”

“See you there,” Aizawa says, hanging up.

He stares down at his phone for a while. Aizawa drops his head back against the wall. It makes an alarmingly similar sound to the one he’d heard coming from Yamada’s side of the conversation. Aizawa feels like he’s back fighting the wind villain again. Yamada’s emotional state seemed to be changing by the second for the entire week. Aizawa couldn’t keep up.

Still, he’d try.

----

Yamada took a different train line than he did, so they didn’t bump into each other at the station. As Aizawa turns around the corner, he seems him leaning against the side of the cafe’s building, one leg propped up. He’s got his hair completely down, not even in a bun or braid. He’s wearing his clear glasses, some boots and tight, ripped black pants, and a simple maroon pullover with some band logo on it. His hands are stuffed in the front pocket and he’s staring at the ground. All and all, for Yamada, he’s unusually dressed down.

Aizawa crosses the street. He thinks about making his approach purposely loud to break Yamada’s attention away from the sidewalk and give the man enough time to put his fake smile on. It proves unnecessary. Yamada pulls his gaze away from the ground and does a quick look around his surroundings on his own.

“Hey!” Yamada calls, pulling one of his hands out of his pocket to wave at Aizawa. Aizawa nods at him.

“Hi.”

“Let’s go,” Yamada says, pushing the door to the cafe open before Aizawa gets within even four feet of Yamada. The blonde has to awkwardly hold the door until Aizawa reaches it, unwilling to pick up his pace.

Aizawa hands his punch card over to the hostess and waits for Yamada to fish his out of his overstuffed wallet. Aizawa notices the way his hands shake a bit as he hands it over to the woman.

A little calico cat rubs up against his leg and he bends down to pet its head. The cafe is mostly empty, just a few groups of people here and there, waving wand toys, or reading a book with a cat in their lap. The cafe is busier during the lunch hours than this weird half-afternoon, half-evening time they’ve chosen to come.

Yamada comes up beside him and coos at the calico, giving it a long stroke down its back and over its tail. They both straighten up and Yamada points toward a little alcove with colorful pastel pillows piled for sitting. It’s pretty far away from the few other people. Aizawa nods and follows Yamada’s lead, the little calico trailing behind them.

When they reach the alcove, Yamada flops onto the plush pile. Aizawa sits down more slowly beside him. He sits with his legs crossed and the calico steps in, circling twice, then curling up in his lap. He runs his hand down its back and scratches behind its ears. Aizawa looks over to see Yamada is stretched back on the pillows, arms lazily lying across his stomach, head tilted back. His long hair is everywhere and his eyes are closed.

They sit like that for a long while, the only sound the small purring coming from Aizawa’s lap. Aizawa thinks Yamada might just fall asleep here, but abruptly, he breaks the silence.

“We broke up,” Yamada says.

Aizawa’s hand pauses. The cat lets out a small unhappy meow. Question after question start immediately pouring into Aizawa’s head. There are too many to pick just one. He can’t figure out how to make his mouth move. How do words work, again?

“Uh,” is somehow all he manages to get out.

“Uh?” Yamada questions.

“What?” Aizawa asks, looking at Yamada. His eyes are still closed and his face is still pointed up towards the ceiling.

“I don’t know,” the blonde runs his hand roughly through his hair, making more of a mess of it.

Yamada laughs. Aizawa lifts his hand off the cat, afraid he’s just going to end up crushing it with the way his body is starting to lock up.

“I kind of thought you’d be happy...or something,” Yamada whispers.

Anger is starting to feel like a constant in Aizawa’s life.

“Happy?” he says, his voice rough and accusatory. “I’m not a dick, Hizashi. You just ended a two year long relationship. That’s a lot to deal with.”

“Yeah…” Yamada responds, finally opening his eyes. His head tilts slightly in Aizawa’s direction. He looks like he’s squinting, with how little effort he’s put into actually lifting his eyelids. His mouth is just a straight line. Aizawa stares at his unmoving lips.

“I’m not that desperate,” close though, Aizawa thinks, then continues, “I’m not going to just start trying to woo you.” Who says that would even ever work…

“Yeah, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought that. I didn’t really...I...yeah…” Yamada rambles quietly, pulling a strand of hair through his hand over and over again.

Aizawa hesitates to ask it, but he really wants to know.

“Can I ask...why?”

“Why?”

“Why did you break up?” Aizawa rubs the back of his neck, feeling a bit uneasy, and like he’s pushing too far. Best friend or not, people had their boundaries. “You seemed perfectly happy before we got ice cream.”

“Oh...yeah. I don’t really know that I’m ready to talk about all the details...I just have a lot of things I have to sort through right now.” Yamada releases a big sigh. He slinks down further into the surrounding pillows. His green eyes shift away from Aizawa to look at the cat in his lap instead. “Haru...Haru was wonderful. I loved him, really, I did, but...something has been bugging me for a while now, even before we got ice cream. I think our fight in the car just...I don’t know...triggered something. Sometimes things felt perfect and sometimes...they just weren’t. Haru and I had a talk that night, and the next one, and the next one, and today…we’ve been talking for a while now. Before this week. Before this month...we’ve been talking and fixing and trying and...” Yamada trails off. Aizawa lets him take a moment to gather his thoughts.

“I’m just done talking, Shouta. I’ve got a big mouth, you know?” Yamada chuckles at his self-deprecating joke. Nothing Yamada just said settles well in Aizawa’s stomach.

“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here. I won’t tell you to shut up or anything. You can talk my ear off,” Aizawa offers.

“Of course I can…” Yamada says. Aizawa can’t ignore the way his lips almost look like they’re on the brink of a scowl.

“What?”

Yamada moves suddenly, rolling over, giving Aizawa his back to stare at. Aizawa watches one of his hands come up and over his side, tightly gripping his sweatshirt. Aizawa realizes he’s hugging himself.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Hizashi…” Aizawa starts, “Did you break up because of our conversation in the car?”

“Not...really. It was more than that. Like I said, this has been going on for a while.”

“But you seemed happy. Everything you said implied you meant to spend more time together...you said you wanted me to like him, you wanted to talk about him, you-”

“Shouta.” Yamada stops him, tone grave. “I never said I was the one who did the breaking up.”

Oh...

Oh.

Aizawa looks down at the cat, now sleeping happily in his lap.

He hears Yamada shift next to him.

“So...Sho,” he says. When Aizawa looks back, Yamada has turned around and is propped up on his elbows. The voice hero has an uncharacteristic pink hue spreading across his cheeks and nose. “I...uh. I lived with Haru.”

“Yeah…” Aizawa responds, not quite getting the point of bringing it up.

Yamada pulls at a loose string sticking out of one of the pillows.

“I gave up my apartment last year.”

“Yeah?”

Yamada pouts.

“So I don’t have anywhere to go.” he grits out, turning fully to face Aizawa now. He crosses his arms.

Oh.

“You want to stay with me?” It’s not an offer and he sees in the way Yamada glances away that he knows too. Living together would be weird. It’s too soon. There’s too much happening right now. Sure, they’d spent nights and weeks and even months at each other’s places before, just to hang out, to work on a case together, because one or the other was closer to a villain they were tracking, or their apartment needed repairs.

That was all before Imai.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Aizawa says.

Yamada nods slowly, a small, sad smile on his face as his eyes fall shut. Yamada flops back down onto the pillow pile, turning a little bit to lean into them. He spends a long time breathing into the pillows. Aizawa pets the cat again, giving him time.

“Where will you go?” Aizawa asks.

Yamada shakes his head.

Too soon.

Aizawa pets the cat some more and waits.

“Do you think Nemuri would let me stay with her?” Yamada asks after some time, voice quiet.

“Why not?”

“You know why not.”

“Hey,” Aizawa says, giving Yamada a hard stare, but the blonde is still focused only on the pillows. “Look at me. Hizashi. Look at me.”

Reluctantly, Yamada raises his head and looks at him.

“It is not your fault you loved someone else.” Aizawa says, then, “No, listen to me. No,” as Yamada’s mouth pops open, prepared for a rebuttal. “I can’t help that I love you and you can’t help that you love Imai. We don’t get to decide that. Nemuri is not holding that against you. You’re being irrational right now because you’re feeling vulnerable and upset…” Aizawa thinks about the way he was convinced Yamada was never going to speak to him again after he’d been rejected. Pain makes people crazy.

“You know she’s still your friend, you know that,” Aizawa insists. “She came up to you this week to tell you about some book she thought you’d like. You think enemies recommend best sellers to each other?”

Yamada shakes his head, laughing a bit. “No, I guess not.”

The blonde scoots over, closer to Aizawa, and reaches into his lap to scratch the calico behind its ears. It starts purring again. Yamada pulls himself in further, resting his cheek against Aizawa’s knee.

Aizawa tries to ignore the way his heart just went from calm to crazy in .02 seconds. Shit.

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

He might have acted all high and mighty, saying he wasn’t going to woo Yamada now that his relationship was over, but he was kidding himself if he thought his feelings for him weren’t going to get worse now that Yamada was technically available.

He’s upset, you idiot. He needs time. Besides, he never said he was interested.

Aizawa shakes his head a bit. Yamada looks up at him briefly, then back to the cat. Aizawa promises himself he’s not going to think about Yamada like that. He promises himself he will be a supportive friend, helping Yamada through this. He will wait. He will be understanding. He will listen to Yamada if he’s upset. He will let him take as much time has he needs to feel stable again.

He will.

Then, when that’s over...maybe…

Maybe…

Aizawa’s knee feels cold and a little damp. He looks down and sees Yamada’s eyes are closed, but he’s crying. Silent, constant tears sliding down over his cheeks and down his neck, marking his hoodie with little wet spots. The other side of his face is still pressed into Aizawa’s knee, all the tears soaking into the fabric before they really get much of anywhere.

Aizawa clenches his jaw. He hates himself for thinking about a future with Yamada right now, no matter how many months or years off his fantasy might have been from this moment.

He’s crying and heartbroken and I’m selfish.

Give him time, Shouta, give him time.

#erasermic #maizawa #don't kid yourself #erasermic fanfiction #maizawa fanfiction #aizawa shouta/yamada hizashi #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #erasermic fanfic #maizawa fanfic #erasermic fic #maizawa fic #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic

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did-you-even-make-a-sound · 7 years ago

Note

Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.

Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)

requested : yep prompt: n/a pairing : connor murphy x reader warnings : suicide plan mention additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.

You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.

dark-aesthetic🔃connor-fvckng-mvrphy

I have to get this off my chest before I straighten every crooked object offensive clutter distraction OCD nervous as fuck I’ll pull out every hair or tear my fingers off If I don’t figure out how to look in your eyes without screaming

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I can’t remember anything before you I can’t imagine anything without you I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I’m cool We should just kill ourselves

‘Interesting,' You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’

This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.

At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.

According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read.

He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.

Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month.

And then it all comes crashing down.

One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago.

connor-fvcking-mvrphy

this is not going to be a great week or year or life or anything inbetween i thought for a millisecond that i had found a friend a kindred spirit but you fucking tore it up

fuck you, E.H. your friend too go ahead and laugh laugh all you want but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?

goodbye

You’re worried.

This poem…was not like the others.

This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.

#suicide plan #goodbye

Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically

you hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out please please don’t kill yourself I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry

You wait, terrified, for a response.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three,

four,

five.

There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.

After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im flattered I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…

You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply.

you OH thank god I thought that you had… Are you okay?? thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im fine actually…i feel much better. thanks for, you know. caring.

you Anytime! I’m [y/n] btw

connor-fvckng-mvrphy connor

you i know thats creepy oh my god;sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill

you :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy so this might sound weird but ???? you’re…pretty cool. i just looked over your account and wanted to know well you know want to talk more???

you wow im??? Really???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,

you id love to !!!!

You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy do you think, like… well ever get to meet each other?? imean you’re a really great friend now and??? id like to meet you.

you i wish but we live like eight hours away from each other…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy ill drive to you!

you calm down, connor…lmao we don’t want you burning out on the way

connor-fvckng-mvrphy :( I don’t even know what you look like…

you i don’t know what you look like either! XD

connor-fvckng-mvrphy shit well if I send you a picture of me will you do the same?

you sure ig

connor-fvckng-mvrphyme.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,

you WHOA YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE

connor-fvckng-mvrphy id prefer handsome but I’ll take it your turn, missy.

you hnnghhh okaybewarnedIlooklikeapotato.jpg

connor-fvckng-mvrphy … holy shit

you bad???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE??? WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-

you no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy no way you’re fucking adorable i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker

connor-fvckng-mvrphy we should swap phone numbers

you and skype??

connor-fvckng-mvrphy fuck yeah

you oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX

you saved and I just texted you too :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy 'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis? dude you’re just,,, thats really fucking cute

you wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend

you best friend?? awww connor!!!

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah yeah you’re literally all I have, [y/n]

you you’re my best friend too!! i really wish i could meet you…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy me too…hold on a sec

you connor??? you okay???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer. i fucking hate her sometimes

you do you?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy …no but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.

you *internet hug*

connor-fvckng-mvrphy Fuck…that’s cute.

As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.

And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.

You were in love with him.

Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?

…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.

You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.

“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.

“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.

“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.

“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.

“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.

Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.

To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.

You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired.

“I should go soon.” He says drowsily.

“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”

“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”

You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.

A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.

you i love you too!!!!

#dear evan hansen x reader #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy x reader #connor murphy headcanon #mike faist x reader

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iraniq · 7 years ago

Text

United

*inspired by the Justice League I watched last night*

It was almost the end of the world…. Weird creatures attacking our planet again … Nothing else to do, besides unite!

You weren’t allowed to go to battle with your husband, definitely not because you were pregnant. But simply because you don’t quite have superpowers besides sneaking and knowing secrets, oh boy the secrets you knew ... That was what you were trading with.

It has been 52 hours since they left. No internet, no news. You and another girl stood in the huge living room. You were peacefully reading a book and she was nervously pouting around.

- Can you please stop! - she looked shocked at you. - Your first rodeo?

She really looked worried.

- They will be fine. – you turn the other page. - My boy … finance, already died once … - Lucky you … - that came up completely wrong, well not that much, sometimes you wish yours was dead too, but only sometimes - I meant… You know, they will at least go back for him. - there was bitterness in your voice. Will they go back for yours too…

Another hour passed by.

- Why aren’t you worried? - I live with the thought my King may die any second, so we live like there will be no tomorrow. And instead of us doing it so now, I pursway him to go and help … - your eyes hot tearly. - Oh, it’s ok … - she rushed to you - Don’t cry, it’s bad for the baby.

You brust in laughing.

- It’s my 6-th one darling, I know how to handle babies.

Her eyes widened.

- 6? - Yep, he said we will never have sex again after the twins, which was like 2 and half years ago, but he lasted only 3 days… - you both laughed - And I got him drunk 5 months ago, we had unprotected sex, and voala! - you pointed at your big belly. - Wow… - What about you, any kids, plans, something … Or you are waiting after the wedding. - Well he was… - she paused for a second. - Oh dear ... - you rubbed her back - I didn’t mention to strike a nerve here. - No, he was in … coma, we weren’t sure if he was going to wake up. So we are keeping it slow, for now.

You smiled. An old man came in, holding a baby boy.

- Simeone’s clingy. - Come here. - you took your son. - Say “hello” Brandon. - the boy stopped crying as he saw you and waved at the girl. After he hugged you for a while. He took off and went to the old man. - Looks like uncle Al got himself busy! - you joked after you saw the others creeping him from behind. - Yes. - he answered calmly. But you could tell he was at the pick of his happiness. - So… - she looked questioning. - God, no! - you laughed.

Another hour went by.

You were dying on the inside, but didn’t let your kids see it. They had dinner and went to bed. You and the girl were yet again left alone; “uncle Al” was on duty to help the team United. As you could understand from your oldest daughter it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows there. It was very possible they may die wile saving the world. She just texted you this.

- How old are they? - The oldest girl is 12, the other is 6, the boy is 4 and the twins are 2 and a half. - you simply smiled and suddenly burst into tears. She came and hug you again. - Please don’t cry, if it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead by worry right now. - I am dead already … - you manage to sob, hugging your belly - this will be my last memory if him. - Don’t talk like this. They will… - No one will care, not to mention come back for the Clown Prince Of Crime! - you yelled. She froze, moving away at the couch. - Yeah, Ms. Lane, they will come back for your alien, but no one will do for my King. - you wiped your tears and got up. - Now if you excuse me, I need to pee.

It was around 3 in the morning. She hasn’t spoke to you since you told her who you are. Alfred didn’t call either with news.

- So why are you here, as you are the bad guy? - she asked with visible hate in her tone. - Who do you think made all the “ bad guys” - you made air quotes with you fingers - go and join the quest? I trade with secrets, and I am also very good at convincing people … As they had the guts, and found it their duty to rob a bank, it is their duty to save the world they live in, as there will be no banks to rob otherwise… - she stayed silent, she knew you were right, but refused to admit it. - They are back! - Alfred informed on the com.

* At the Jet Plane*

- Someone wake him up! - Are you serious? - Arthur, do as I say! - Is he dead? - No, Barry, he is not dead, but we will be, if he is not awake when we land. - He is alive! - You have that kind of system too, awesome. – Barry fangirled. - Can you wake him up, Victor? - I think yes, Barry will have to sting him a little, and he will be fine. - No way man, that’s the Joker, I am not gonna touch him! - Are you scared of him to? - It’s not funny mermaid. - Don’t call me mermaid, Tin man. - Boys, calm down! - Thank you, Diana. Why are you so quiet, Clark? - I want to rest, that’s it. - Guys, he is waking up, he is waking up … - Barry stepped away, next to Victor. Arthur was sitting between Clark and Diana. And all were staring at J, lying across them. - Fuck… - he yelled, putting his hand on his head. - You will live, it’s just a scratch, Victor said it won’t even leave a scar. - But my hair is ruined, B! She is soo gonna kill you! - We just won a … - You haven’t met his Queen! - Bruce was fast enough to answer.

Mr. J just smiled and sit.

- Do you want a pain killer? - Victor asked. - I live for the pain! - he growled - Are you scared child? - Nope, I am not, completely not … - You should be. Btw who is keeping my wife company? - Louis. - You left my fiance with the maniac’s wife? - Clark stood up, and Diana follows, worried they will get in a fight again. - Chill, the only think your chatty reporter can learn from my maniac wife is how to get you drunk and get herself pregnant.

And then it happened … Bruce brust into laughter. A thing no one had seen or heard before. He was laughing loudly. And it was a pure heart laughter.

- Don’t laugh man. Just don’t … Not that I don’t love them, just … I am not sure if I am physically able to love them all ant not broke into pieces.

They were all again shattered by this simple and yet unexpected confession. And how close these two “arch enemies” seem to be.

- It’s the 6-th one right? - Yeah … I think she is planning on collection or something. - J said, fixing what’s left of his hair. He was having a big scratch on his right, and half of his hair was gone. - Wait … - Diana started - you are enemies. - Yes we are … - Bruce said. - We kinda created each other … So … Why not go friends as well? - You are friends? - Jealous much, Superman? - J blinked at him. - I named one of my kids after him. - J lied back - Me and my wifey were on a romantic date, breakibg into Gotham First Bank, and the old rat, over there, took forever to come and catch us, that we manage to even had sex. It was awkward… - Having sex in the vault? - Barry asked. - It was awkward for me catching them… - Doing it in the vault … - J started laughing. - Because of people like this I live in the ocean. - So your son is named after him? - Clark asked. - No, Bruce is an ugly name, we picked Brandon instead. - I am gonna finally see him. - Well you would’ve done it earlier when they were born, my Queen send you an invitation. - I was busy. - Yeah, go and lie someone else… - J played it offended.

The plane landed.

- How’s my hair? - J asked Diana. She stared at him, with no answer. - You are fine. - Bruce tapped his shoulder. - You know you are getting it, right. - Yeah I know.

The plane door opened, Arthur was first followed by Diana and Clark, and Barry and Victor, J was fixing his hair in desperate attempt to hide the half that was missing.

You and Lois were standing there waiting. Clark come and hug her. You on the other hand were not that patient and went through, as you walk, Victor stood at your way.

- Go away, overgrown toaster! – you yelled and he stepped away in surprise. - Oh, boy! – Barry whispered, certain you will be in his “I am afraid of” list. As you saw J you screamed loudly, causing everyone to turn at you. - Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long-lost boss? - Tears of joy, I hate job hunting. - Vacations over! – he said grinning. Quoting movie lines was indeed your thing.

You rushed and hug him. He was dirty and smelly, but it didn’t matter to you. You cover him in kissed while crying loudly. He just pet your hair, the long looks he so much love. As you stopped to take a breath you noticed his wound. You gasped and covered your mouth; tears were coming all over again.

- Chill, Doll, it won’t even leave a scar, and … the hair will grow back again. – he started.

You looked at Batman.

- Ma’am.

You smiled. And kissed your King’s lips gently.

- Ugh … you stink… - Like s superhero, I know! – he hugged you and started walking to the inside of the cave. - It’s disgrosting! You can’t hug our kids like this. - I know … Why are you shaking, are you cold? - I forgot to pee. – you whined and he laughed, slapping your butt, and you rush inside. - Run, Forrest, Run! – he yelled after you laughing. - Do you know they have 5 kids? – Louis whispered to Clark. - Did she told you how to get me drunk and get yourself pregnant? - Yes, she insisted on me doing this, saying you are prefect gene material. - Please don’t do this to me, I’ll volunteer. – they both laughed and walked in.

Only Barry, Victor, Bruce and Diana were left.

- They are odd. – Barry started – but they are indeed couple goals … - the others stared at him – What, you know it’s true, just look at them. Like the Addams family but … in a homicide manic way … - Yes, they are! – Bruce agreed. - You may take some notes. – Diana teased. Alfred walked in. - Master Wayne, your nephews are waiting. - Are they all look like him?

Alfred chuckled.

- Oh, man… - Bruce took his mask off. – And I thought the worst part was over.

They all got a shower and get prepared for dinner, or very early breakfast.

- Why does the other kids have such big age difference from the first one? – Alfred asked as he was fixing Bruce’s shirt, who was still in huge pain to do it himself. - The first one was Jack’s, before he turned into The Joker, they are a couple since kids, she was 14 when the girl was born. - And he told you this, when you were … - Yes. His father killed my parents and I pushed him into the chemicals … I guess we are even now. Why do you think they keep sending me invitations of baby showers and sonogram photos. - So you check them? – Alfred smiled. - Well … you can tell he is the only friend I have … in a way. - You have more now. It’s not a bad thing. - As long as they don’t turn into psychopaths, I guess it is.

In your room the kids were hugging and kissing their father.

- So you are e hero now? – the oldest asked. - Yep! Right in Batsy’s face.

They all laughed and cheered.

- Come on, time for food. - But you just ate mom. – the other girl said. - Dunno, if it was for me or for him, so I have to eat again. - Doll … - J grabbed your hand, letting you alone in the room, after the girls ran to meet uncle B. – You could’ve said you wanted another kid. It was a dick move! You laughed. - I knew this will happen, and I suspect you will want to help, because if the children, and I … I was afraid, you won’t come back, so I wanted to have as much memories of you as I could.

He looked at his feet smiling.

- Liar! You want a full collection don’t you! - Fuck you, J! Can’t a girl dream. - Anything my Queen wants! - Baby wants, baby gets! – you smiled and kissed him gently. – I hope this hair will be fine soon, or I will be the end of the world. - Yes, Ma’am!

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