#oh yeah annnnddd

[linkedin-offficial]

collars of the colony

members of the colony werent always naked and bare in their prides regard. most of them used to wear reminders of their housekeepers and people, like the common housecat. it was normal to wear these reminders, like a tag, so others knew where you belonged.

not everyone agreed with these reminders, however. cats like jax and zooble felt annoyed by these restraints. jax wore none at all, as even the thought of being confined to such a small place made him seeth with rage. he loved his people, sure, but the idea of a grounding tag like this was too much. zooble on the other hand, tolerated such restraining reminders in the guise of their people, tossing it away when they werent. they knew they were smart. their housekeepers were the type to allow their presence to be outside the boundaries of their home. zooble knew they were lucky for this opportunity, and used it sparingly.

other cats on the other hand held onto their reminders longer than the average cat. cats like kaufmo and queenie felt that without such a reminder, the memory of their people would fade away into nothing. and how could such a cat let this happen? without housekeepers like theirs, theyd truly be nothing but more feed for speeding cars upon the darkpaths. theyd been given food, a home, and love. to throw away such a reminder was like throwing away a piece of themself.

of course, when it due time, queenie was the only one who couldnt seem to bare the burden of finally letting go. kaufmo eventually finally gave in, but he vowed to never let his memories of his people fade away. his vow and queenie's denial however, was not enough to save them from the dangers that demanded change, and dangers that soon lie ahead.

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

What I want to know is WHY?

Why'd you say it, Jensen? You didn't have to. You were talking about cooking for fuck's sake! COOKING!! You said you like spicy food-- and that your wife often makes you spicy food.

How great.

How wholesome.

Sure, you kinked it up a bit. You went on to say that she knows how to "spice things up in the kitchen."

Ha Ha

*wink wink * nudge nudge*

And Misha of course responded in his very Misha-like-way with -- "Oh yeah she does!"

So you go "Ayye!" in your trademarked Dean-ish, mock-grumpy tone.

And that was fine.

That was all good, Jensen. You could've left it there, son! You could've gone back to the fucking innocuous topic of cooking.

Go on and share Danneel's recipe. Maybe your favorite spice while you're at it. Or even just go back to saying Italian words in your very Mario & Luigi type accent ... any of that would've worked, my guy.

The world is filled with non-implicating topics!

But NOOOOO .... instead you take a fucking eon-long pause, rub your thigh in the universally known nervous-jackles way, and then you say:

"SHE DOES REFER TO MISHA AS HER BOYFRIEND"????

and then

AAANNDDD THEN

ANNNNDDD THEN YOU SAY

"WHICH IS FUNNY 'CAUSE SO DO I????"

YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT COOKING, SIR!!!

COOKING!

MOTHER FUCKING COOKING!

[theautismgoblin]

Okay so in the Prohibited Wish server we were goofing off today, annnnddd I did some things!!!

Some funni drawing I did!!

More Good Omens au, also a Bil Cipher I drew cause someone said Chaos (which made them angy (like in a funni way))

And the two fighting .... Well more like Demon Prismo instigating a fight and Angel Scarab choosing to start said fight. Also G!Scarab's weapon is a flaming mandible, and G!Prismo's weapon is a dice shaped like the time room (it was used in his Angel days to jumpstart stars with beams from the many openings)

And a New Au, which I'm calling the Snow Genie AU.. Where Prismo is the Ice King and Scarab is Betty (they kept their personalities though)

Scarab was human but then got hit with the mutugen stuff, and somehow survived.. He's in the future to get revenge on Prismo (where he steals Magic Man's powers)

Prismo is still lazy and not responsible, but the one responsible thing he did was try to raise Finn.

Where like Simon he left, but made sure Finn could survive on his own. Though the first gift Prismo gave Finn was the sword, which he found in a weird cellar (yeas it's the demon blood sword)

.. what else.. Oh yeah, so Finn does survive (he becomes a vampire and cause of his good nature, offs the vampires much like Marcy did.. but he doesn't have their abilities... Other than basic vampire stuff)

Prismo found a dog too.. which looks like Jake (he calls him Gunther tho, he is a son of an alien and does a bunch of weird stuff but doesn't talk)

Also a first sketch of Magic Scarab, which is when I remembered I hate drawing human Scarab...

[dirtymaidpanties]

Messing with Shanon's design still...

Shes a mix of blitzø and Bryce tankthrust, because of the weird way she moves her body and because of how I'd imagine her voice would sound annnnddd personality wise cuz she's the boss of a used sex toy store called "mousey toys" and happens to have one in the middle of Canada (ranfren universe duh)

Oh yeah and she's obsessed with coffee

And sorry if it looks weird but I put a goofy hue setting on it

[pikolswonderland]

Is Banban our friend in this rewrite, Also, Assuming Banban can eat and drink, what's his favorite food/drink

(OH SHIT I FORGOT TO ANSWER SOME ASKS ABOUT AS ABOVE SO BELOW, UHHH, JUST IGNORE THAT PRETEND I DIDNT PROCRASTINATE ON THIS YEEEEAAAHHHH)

To answer your first question, ABSOLUTELY!! Banban is Morley’s (Player Character’s) main ally throughout the rewrite. Other characters end up joining them as well later, but Banban is the first ally and consistently remains as such (outside of occasionally being temporarily separated from Morley). At first, this allyship is purely out of circumstances, with Banban and Morley not FULLY trusting each other and being partnered over a pretty weak truce.  Though overtime, they start to form a genuine bond, eventually forming even a somewhat familial relationship.

To answer your second question, ANIMAL CRACKERS!! (As a quick side note, the mascots do actually NEED to eat and drink in this rewrite, since here they are actual biological organisms made of flesh and bone instead of, like, weird homunculi made of Play-Doh).

Although Banban initially CLAIMS his favourite food is…well…pancreases, this is more of just an empty threat to make him seem more intimidating (as well as an inside joke from his childhood…hmm). In reality, his favourite food is animal crackers! He only ever had them a few times as a kid when (NAME REDACTED) would sometimes bring them for him as a special treat, and desperately wants to try them again. Morley actually ends up finding some for him (in one of the missing children’s lunchboxes), annnnddd cue Banban having a tear-filled nostalgia trip while stuffing his face full of animal crackers…yeah <3

(Though if you ARE curious, Banban DOES end up eating somebody’s pancreas…and quickly regrets it, cue him nearly vomiting. Raw flesh is NOT AS TASTY AS IT LOOKS!!)

[everyonesfavoritenotetaker]

"Holy shit is that a living broccoli? You sold your soul to the Devil too? To get arms qnd legs?" @fromthebushess

@fromthebushess

He's caught off guard by the bird-like berry.

"Oh- No, I've just kinda always been this way- It seems to be the case with a lot of people around here... Yknow now that I think about it its kinda weird that there are living and nonliving foods, but-" Annnnddd he's off topic- not for too long though.

Broccoli continues to ramble for a minute, before-

"Yeah, no selling my soul to satan or anyth-"

There's an awfully long pause as Broccoli reconsiders their sentence for a moment.

"Wait, you what-"

[zumpietoo]

And NOW...Goin’ Loonggg

IDK that it goes THAT far, buuuuutt......if the anon legit meant “Douchie is a souless fuccboi, incapable of actual love”, I’d agree. It also, in fact, applies to every OTHER character on the show, excepting, OFC Jabi and Pop.....oh and FP.

Annnnddd.....here we go again! WTF is her obsession with Barfies not being satisfied with their stupid? Cuz dude, yeah, they are.....they’re also all like 11, with IQs as underwater as yours, so, as long as there’s something? Yeah, they’re good.

Ya know who IS pissed, Snorty? Yep, yourself and the remaining 2(??? Is it that high?) members of the GG.....imagine for a second what it’s like to be YOU.....you’re still waiting for jizzy to reunite/collect your endgame....which....are you blue yet?

Errmmm.....no, RAS planned BAV from the beginning.....jizzy happened cuz Barfie have no chemistry/BH did, cuz SH. Again, the “baffling decision” is why neither side will accept the REAL reason(s) for all of this....and, TBF? Jizzy and VD really WEREN’T together for 4 seasons.....both were fairly on again/off again....which, again, can be traced to SH were on again/off again, themselves....and it becomes apparent, while off? Couldn’t be in the same room together.

The baiting shit? Now applies just as much (tho you get less) to you....

Nah, it was moar like 2ish----with, turns out, Slizzy using Jug as a placeholder/carrying on an emotional affair with Douchie, thoughout, if you REALLY look at this shit....Season 5 was literally Slizzy being THE biggest cuntwipe, ever to Jughead.....and reveling in it. Also, she was just as gross and selfish a dick as Douchie (and a prostitute)....did love the revelation both apparently suck in bed, tho....

Again.....are you looking in the mirror? Cuz there hasn’t been a good/positive jizzy scene since maybe mid-season 4? And, honestly? All that becomes moar and moar tainted every time you re-examine it.

Plus, OFC, again......why so desperate for Barfies to be disappointed with the narrative.....you’re not getting jizzy ever again, or even if you do? 2 seconds in the final scene of the finale, voice over style....

Wait...I thought Rivervale was an AU so doesn’t count? Unless it’s jizzy/anti-barfie, at which point it totes counts?

Ummm....jizzy didn’t fuck, dude....again, AU.....desperate measures, etc. And she was STILL Jug’s second choice for it!

Learn a new phrase other than “banging it out”, BTW.....

Also, funny thing about grief as an excuse to make out with somebody else for Slizzy, hmmmmm????

Ummm.....I actually think they’d moved onto St. Frank’s bed awhile before????

Oohhh!!! Here we have it!! Never, EVER forget, peeps!!!

Ummm....Slizzy was also a “selfish ass”, to everybody. TBH, in season 6, their mutual gross fascism DID have them largely conjoined. And I even agree, the whole “we were besties as kids” iz a dumb basis, buuuuuttt.....it is, TBF, comics canon, as well.

Also love how she never notices that Slizzy was always horrible to Jughead....just, again, he was good to her, so they’re destined....oh AND how Snorty’s insistence is “childhood = no, but HS = destined 4 life!” See, Snorty, you legit make the same, stupid argument....and it, too, falls to bits...

Errmmm.....Slizzy didn’t say “no”, she said, “sure, but let’s first defeat the comet, hmmm???”.....and then decided carpe diem in the last 2 seconds. Also, Heathcliff and Cathy define toxic “love”, so I’d think you’d legit agree....

Aren’t you among the jizzy shippers insisting Jug would give Slizzy back her memories and she’d remember only them together, not the cheating, cuntwipe, etc stuff?

Umm.....you used to believe Barfie Evan AND insisted RAS was a jizzy shipper/planned that all along. Plus, ofc, Daniel Defoe....so you, again, do NOT get to mock them. (I do, ofc, tho!).

Yes, again, it’s like they’re fuccboi/fuccgurl.....and also fatuous douchebags.....

I have zero doubts, given what you think is a functional relationship, you know exactly about all of that, Snorty.....

Meanwhile....seriously? Again, I’m in the middle....and think it all points to BAV(R?) engame....

Like I said, she’s a predatory slut. So is he. They’re both vile....thanks for playing. Also, don’t you guys mock Jabi cuz Tabs is an angel/they’re always weirdly fine with waiting to spend all eternity together?

I do agree that Barfies (like Mr. 58 Seconds) hugely exaggeration the “obstacles”, tho)

Umm.....isn’t that precisely the “endgame” you have planned for jizzy???? Other than Cole can act, so no wooden plank (I do agree, tho for KokeJ.....ditto Slizzy).

Ummm....plenty of time...annddd, again, sorry, not sorry.....this is NOT a new Slizzy. Only change is she’s less violent than she’d been.....maybe cuz she isn’t psychotic? Or it merely channels itself into being a sexual predator instead of assault and battery?

Ummm.....again, that’s what YOU claim about jizzy!

Dude, they aren’t. TBF, maybe they should be? But they aren’t. Sorry, not sorry...

You want what you never had....jizzy, in retrospect was NOT a “love story” (it was two trauma bonded teens and verrryyyy toxic) and they most assuredly weren’t compatible (Jug was simply a great person/partner, Slizzy was an unworthy asshole).

Yes, I get it too. Imagine pretending for that long your ship was pure perfection....and would reunite, even fueling it with fanfic rumors, etc....and getting a colossal dump taken on you at each juncture.....to the extent of now, your best and only hope IS a 2 second voiceover...

Oh I won’t be disappointed.....y’all will be tho....BAV(R?) and Jabi endgame...and you’ll definitely be most disappointed, regardless of what you pretend....

IDK if you have carpal tunnel, but you definitely have any number of psychiatric disorders....

Again, I invented that....

And it “sustains you”, cuz it’s all you have, now....and they’ve invested way less in jizzy....

OML....naturally we have “blame Babyman”.....dude, noooo....and there is no “gaslighting”, it never existed with the “OG couples”, etc....plus, funny---I thought RAS was returning to “take the helm and fix everything”?????

Ummm....duuuuuddeee, Snorty, go take an actual look at jizzy (and VD).....again, if you’d take off your shipper googles, you’d see....while it’s gross (snide, elitist, fatuous, fascists, etc), Barfie DO have shit in common AND have carried on an emotional affair since the beginning of season TWO.

Now, TBF, Douchie still sees Slizzy as his perpetual sidepiece (and she’s so stupid/such a mess, she’s legit willing for that), but it IS, what it is....and Jug’s recognized ALL of this and moved on, loves somebody else now.

And what’s this “last chance”? That’s what YOU have.....at best...

Ummm....that’s because Slizzy “unironically” trolls that and is totally inappropriate and tried to fuck KokeJ....just as she did with most of her other costars (male and female.....)

This was so funny because it’s so delusional. And because you guys are gonna be verrryyyy bummed in 2 months!

[grxygreenrain]

i could never be with a vampire bc i simply cannot maintain the quality of my blood. im sorry my love but my meals today did simply consist of a little bit of mushroom pasta annnnddd potato chips. yeah little salty. little greasy. sorry. spicy? hm there were some red peppers in the pasta ig... yeah of course i put garlic–OH SHIT

[potofstewie]

Beautiful girls, all over the world

I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted

They got nothin' on you, baby

Nothin' on you, baby

They might say hi and I might say hey

But you shouldn't worry about what they say

'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby (yeah)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

I know you feel where I'm comin' from (from)

Regardless of the things in my past that I've done (done)

Most of it really was for the hell of the fun (the fun)

On the carousel, so around I spun (spun)

With no directions, just tryna get some (some)

Tryna chase skirts, livin' in the summer sun (sun)

And so I lost more than I had ever won (wha?)

And honestly, I ended up with none (huh?)

There's so much nonsense, it's on my conscience

I'm thinkin' maybe I should get it out

And I don't wanna sound redundant, but I was wonderin'

If there was somethin' that you wanna know (that you wanna know)

But never mind that, we should let it go (we should let it go)

'Cause we don't wanna be a TV episode (TV episode)

And all the bad thoughts, just let 'em go

(Go, go, go, go)

Beautiful girls, all over the world

I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted

They got nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

They might say hi (hi), and I might say hey (hey)

But you shouldn't worry about what they say (why?)

'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Hands down, there will never be another one

I been around and I never seen another one

Because your style they ain't really got nothin' on

And you wild when you ain't got nothin' on

Baby, you the whole package, plus you pay your taxes

And you keep it real while them others stay plastic

You're my Wonder Woman, call me Mr. Fantastic

Stop, now think about it

I've been to London (yeah), I've been to Paris (yeah)

Even way out there to Tokyo (Tokyo)

Back home down in Georgia (yeah) to New Orleans (yeah)

But you always steal the show (steal the show)

And just like that girl you got me froze (got me froze)

Like a Nintendo 64 (64)

If you never knew, well now you know

(Know, know, know, know)

Beautiful girls, all over the world

I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted

They got nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

They might say hi (hi), and I might say hey (hey)

But you shouldn't worry about what they say (why?)

'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Everywhere I go I'm always hearin' your name

And no matter where I'm at, girl, you make me wanna sing

Whether a bus or a plane, or a car or a train

No other girl's in my brain and you the one to blame

Beautiful girls, all over the world

I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted

They got nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

They might say hi (hi), and I might say hey (hello)

But you shouldn't worry about what they say (why?)

'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Nothin' on you, baby

(Na na na nothin' on you, babe, na nothin' on you)

Yeah, and that's just how we do it

what's absolutely crazy about this serenade is that this part "They might say hi and I might say hey/But you shouldn't worry about what they say/'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby (yeah)" contradicts what you did

didn't you have your bags at her house AND willingly left ANNNNDDD willingly allow her to talk shiet?

oh okay

[killerandhealerqueen]

THERE ARE ASTROLOGY ONES?!? Oh I’m asking that! Ok let’s go…..Gemini (cause I’m a gemini😝), cancer, Saturn, (RINGS!!) Pluto, annnnddd 9th house. Idk what the ninth house is but why not 😂 sorry it’s a lot 😁💜

gemini: what was the last text you sent?

The last text I sent was to my best friend who had sent me a reel from our college about the spokesperson in the video. She's the sister of someone who graduated before us but I didn't remember the older sister (because if I didn't hang out with the person, I don't remember them)

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be?

Honestly, I don't really believe in astrology, so I don't really care

saturn: what’s your biggest fear?

Uh, being either in really tight spaces or being locked in a store when it closes. It almost happened to me when I was younger and now if I have to go to a place late, I always have to check what time the store closes because yeah. My parents make fun of me for it, but *shrugs*. I don't like it

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life?

That I'm a lot stronger mentally and a lot smarter than I actually give myself credit for

9th house: what’s your favorite quote?

I'm gonna go with the quote I used for my senior quote: "Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny" ~ C.S. Lewis

Astrology ask | send me asks

[ridingthewhitechocobo]

Gravitation Opening...

and OMG.. this brings so many memories....

[daisys-gard3n]

 Y'know what, fuck it - la squadra monster musume au

if ya’ll monster fuckers don’t know what monster musume is- have fun with that rabbit hole

Risotto: Minotaur

I couldn’t decide between this, a cyclops, or an echidna

Very large horns, you have to help him shave them so he doesn’t knock into doors or cars often

Bull-fighting breed (You were fully prepared to get a knucklehead, but found Riz to be very level-headed)

Don’t worry about intruders, he’ll take care of them with his pinky

Helps you with any heavyweight labor, like lifting things or doing repairs you can’t reach

Most of the renovations in your house have to do with heightening the doors because Riz is so tall

Usually helps out with cooking because the most of the other monsters in your house are all carnivores (Ghiaccio doesn’t want to melt in front of the stove and Illuso’s just a bitch)

Is the ‘leader’ of the monster pact, since everyone generally respects him (and also slightly afraid of him)

Can’t find anything fashionable to wear because he’s massive, one time you told him to put on a button-up and three of the buttons shot out and hit you in the face

He gives himself little piercings on his ears for some reason.

yo but Risotto with a bull nose ring thoo

Formaggio and Melone learned their lesson for messing with Risotto because they spent a whole hour running away from an enraged minotaur. 

 If he has freetime, he’ll help out a nearby farm with plowing fields. His dirty little secret is that he likes to go out and bull fight with other male minotaurs for money. 

You found out about that quickly, you understood he needed to get fighting out of his system but told him to be careful

Melone and Formaggio, on the other hand, we treating him like a race horse at the next bull fighting match by making bets.

They got punished pretty quickly for that.

Now for nsfw shit (bc its monmusu)

Reference owo

Now imagine that longer and it’s retractable

oh yeah, I had to look up legit animal anatomy for this

mayhaps he gets bar piercings along the underside for added pleasure

Full moon for monsters is ultimate breeding time, every monster is horny and most of them take sleeping pills and go to bed early to avoid making mistakes

Risotto is usually in control, since he does the sleeping pill method, but there are times where he runs out of them at the worst possible moment.

He’s locked in his room, breathing heavily while trying to keep his self control in tact

that is until you somehow convince him to open the door annnnddd, you’re done for.

“Master, please understand...I can’t contain myself anymore.”

No, you can’t milk him since he’s a bull-fighting type, but his chest is rather sensitive.

Likes it when you pull on his nipple piercings or suckle on them, you’ll have a large monster melting at your fingertips

Just nipple play gets him hard instantly 

“M-Master, please touch me more...”

Male minotaurs naturally have big packages, soooo

Usually just settles for thigh-fucking because he’s not dumb, he know he could rip someone in half. 

“M-Master, y-you’re so soft and warm...”

He tries his best with oral, he has a long tongue so he uses it to try and stretch out your hole (ass or pussy, don’t matter)

Dude, if you edge him while he’s eating you out he’ll probably moo or some shit

He likes getting choked, that’s why he wears a collar. So pull on it and he’ll be cross-eyed

The time where you let him put it in, you have a noticeable bump when he’s not even half-way in.

Goes ballistic, he’s gonna pound into you blinded with lust. Just hold onto his horns and enjoy the ride.

Medically, he needs to ejaculate pretty often or he’ll be backed up and or be sent into an early heat. So that’s what you’re for.

Goes wild if you play with his tail and give him a rimjob, all while ignoring his cock. 

After like a while, you pump him a couple of times and he’s done.

All monsters instinctively have a breeding kink, so Risotto might start talking nonsense while in heat:

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I wanna breed you so bad. I wanna see that stomach of yours swell up with my child-hng, fuck!” 

It don’t matter what you identify or what you have going down there, he’ll still do it.

Feels ashamed the next day and you have to tell him that it’s okay.

Formaggio: Werewolf

Gets confused for a Kobolt because he’s so easy-going

Annoying as hell at night, because he HAS to go out and howl at the moon

You have to help him trim his fur because he produces so much of it and he might get heat stroke if you don’t.

You take him out the most for errands, mainly because its funny when he talks about being a powerful werewolf only to have his tail wag when you mention ‘walk’.

He brings ‘gifts’, as in he’ll bring in a rabbit or bird he caught and killed in your yard and smile “Can you make something with this?”

You like to tease him like a puppy, because he falls for stupid tricks like following a laser pointer, psyching him out by fake throwing a ball, or being affectionate in response to head scratches (sometimes, it ends up in belly scratches and him rolling on the floor)

If you ever lose any of the monsters while on a trip (which happens pretty often), Formaggio is on the case sniffing the air and trailing them

100% can’t cook for shit, he thinks a raw piece of meat counts as a meal for everyone

You take him out to the tracks so he can run with the other werewolves or kobolts exercising and he can make friends (which he has lots of)

Has and will chase after stray cats in your neighborhood

Dresses like a typical werewolf - ripped t-shirts, flannels, and pants. There’s almost no piece of clothing in his wardrobe that isn’t ripped

Chases after that one harpy (Narancia) that keeps visiting you out of annoyance and dominance

Has no self-control when full moon comes around

He’s the one to forget a full moon is happening and not taking sleeping pills to pass it over, he lets it take control of him.

Somehow gets stronger and louder? He’s howling and growling like a rabid dog while pounding down your door with almost no effort.

His sense of smell is already strong, so when in his moon-lust state smells your scent he’s immediately chasing after you.

Don’t run, because he’s already behind you no matter how hard you try.

Rips your clothes off in one go

My man eats da pussy and ass like you never feed him, his tongue is so long that you can feel it brush against your cervix or your prostate

"Grrrrr-Fuck, you taste so good, babe. I'm gonna devour you."

The man can suck a cock like no tomorrow too

Leaves bite marks all over your skin, especially around the thigh area, the taste of your blood fuels his lust and hunger more

You bet your sweet ass you’re getting knotted

He’s pretty average-sized when not aroused, but it grows with arousal. Blowing up around the tip when he orgasms. (It’s also red-)

reference owo

I can assure you that you’re not moving from Formaggio for a while.

Because of his knot, he tends to be a one round man when he does orgasm and has to wait for it to go down before he can start again. The full moon allows him to rebound faster and to keep pounding into you without a problem with just half the time it takes for him to deflate. 

“I think you’ll be a great mom, knocked up full with my pups. I wanna get you so big and pregnant- Fuck, you take my knot so well, babe!”

Like I said before: it does not matter what you got going on down there, a monster’s natural instinct is to breed. They are going to pump you full of cum no matter where it is and get off to having children with you.

Likes it when you pull on his fur or play with his ears while you wrap your legs around his waist

huge sucker for praise, tell him he’s doing so good and that tail gonna wag

tell him that your bits are his treat lol

During the full moon lust, he’ll try to mark you as his mate. The next day, he won’t remember that he did it and sees his mark on your neck:

“Yo! Did you get hit on by another wolf-Oh...”

Insanely jealous and territorial, even interacting with the other monsters or your own species makes him go at you rough later on in the night.

“C-Can’t help it, babe. This is all your fuckin’ fault! All those bastards tryna’ lay a hand on my mate? Fuck all of ‘em! I’ll fuckin’ kill em. They’re not gonna have you, only I can fill you up good with my knot. No one else can make you feel this good but me! I’m you’re mate, babe!”

Illuso: Greater Devil

Incredibly vain and obsessed with fashion, even though it’s out of date with the times

Uses magic to play tricks on everyone in the house, including you. 

his favorite is to use mirrors as passageways before jumpscaring the person (at his own cost of course)

he one time did it to ghiaccio and the whole room was covered in a thick layer of ice

Does it to you at the most inconvenient of times, like when you’re holding something. 

“Oh, don’t be so lame. It’s just a joke.”

Usually listens to Risotto when he tells him to stop (bc he scares him)

Takes some twisted pleasure in seeing you suffer. AKA a Sadodere

 a prominent blush and smile on his face as he laughs while you’re on the verge of tears of his jokes. 

He doesn’t really apologize, but he does your chores for you when he does ‘feel bad’ for making you upset.

Can be seen most of the time on his phone (with several dangling keychains and a bedazzled case) or grooming his nails.

Will, sometimes, do your nails for you if you wish (but he has to pick everything)

You have to keep an extra eye on Illuso when you go out because he’ll try to play tricks on random civilians for his amusement (or pick on ghiaccio in public)

Used to pick on Pesci a lot until Prosciutto stepped in and threatened to pull him into the pool until he drowned

That stopped almost instantly (Iluso hates getting his hair wet)

If you’re the type of person to not take care of yourself, Illuso will personally drag you through the mirror to give you a pampering sessions bc he’s frustrated at you.

“Why the hell did you let your hair get this many knots?! When’s the last time you washed your face, do you even use skincare products?! Your nails are hideous! Give them to me! Ugh, your skin is so rough, use this from now on.” Just nagging in general.

He has such a great body, yet he eats like a teenager - junk and fried food

Gets disgusted when you bring in house guest, natural territorial problem. 

especially hates that black smile (Fugo) you bring home, because you’re a inter-species therapist and sometimes work from home.

“Do you really have to bring that bucket of sludge here? That toxic waste is ruining the scent of my candles!”

Actually takes sleeping meds on the night of the full moon, but on the times he forgets he’s popping out of mirrors until he gets to the one in your room.

“I’m not one of those dirty incubuses, but fuck I might die if I don’t play with you!”

Uses lust hexes and aphrodisiacs to get you in the mood and into getting him off

Reference owo

he probably gets really glitzy piercings on it too

 a whole seven inches of bitch ass sadist who will edge you for the rest of the night

His tail is sensitive, so play with it and lick it to get him to submit to you

“D-Don’t touch that!-A-Ah~!”

He’s a complete pillow princess, he wants to be the one surrounded by pleasure and be completely overtaken by it: aka, he’s more open to being sub.

“P-Please play with me, little master~! I’m so hard for you, I wanna be your plaything~! A-Ah~! I’ll do anything, please just play with my cock~!”

Likes to play with your hair or massage your head while you go down on him, also likes to take pictures of you sucking his cock for his own amusement. 

“Say cheese~! What? It’s for me alone, don’t get the wrong idea...Unless, you want me to share pics of you being a slut~?”

Probably points out you have an ahegao

There’s also the times where he wants to be in control: he puts binding hexes on you, scratches up your back, puts different spells on you to see what happens, pulls at your hair (if long enough), and other. All with a sadistic smile on his face

“Oh~? Is little master getting (hard/wet) from my hex? You like it when I step on your back and grind my heel into you, mortal? Hah~ I love it when you make that expression, it makes me wanna tease you more, little master.”

Likes to pull out and jerk off on your chest, aka giving you a pearl necklace

Would definitely pull pocket dimension spells so he can fuck you wherever he wants in that reality

After that night, he gets more clingy to you and probably starts wearing some of your clothing items around the house for comfort and to spite everyone else. 

Would 100% wear your panties if you wear them: “Like them? I found them in your wardrobe and decided to take them out for a spin. It seems it can’t fit my cock right.”

Willing to share with Melone on full moon nights because the thought of you getting stuffed by two cocks got him hard. (and he wanted to see what melone had going on under there)

Doesn’t really have a breeding kink: “A-Ah, don’t worry too much little master! Hng-fuck! I can hex you so you won’t get pregnant-Ah ah fuck! You feel so good~!” If you don’t have a uterus, then he doesn’t have to worry in the first place. 

It’s kinda surprising he moans like a whore.

Melone: Melusine

Melusine are the horniest of the lamia species, he’s always searching out for pleasure (almost made him a medusa because he persists after knowledge, but thought this fit a bit better)

When you’re first left to care for him, he’s already trying to get into your pants.

“you’re cute, wanna have fun~?”

It’s shocking that he aced the interspecies transfer test when he doesn’t give a damn about the rules.

 A lot of clothes aren’t functional because of the snake part of his body, so Melone’s fashion is usually large t-shirts or mini dresses

Would probably do the naked apron bit for your attention only get freezed by Ghiaccio in record time

He can’t cook for shit, he’s a carnivore. Also, even if you did let him help you out he’ll just be making innuendos the whole time: “Oh, I’d love for you touch something besides that cucumber~”

You wake up every morning to Melone wrapped around you, completely nude, as he tries to absorb your body heat (lamias are cold blooded). You try to get him off of you, but his tail just wraps around your body tighter. 

“Five more minutes, Mi Amor~?”

100% acts like the two of you had sex last night when you know you didn’t.

The only real way to get him off of you is to play with the tip of his tail, which is an erogenous zone. He’ll be moaning and melting in your touch like butter, but his grip gets tighter

“O-Oh, yes Mi Amor~! Di molto~! I feel so close, p-please let me kiss you~!”

He’s very loud, the whole house knows that Melone is awake at this point and usually Ghiaccio storms in to freeze the whole room to make him get out

Even though he has wings, he can’t fly. But he was created for them to be sensitive at the base though.

“Mmmm~ Touch my wings more, Mi Amor~! Hah~!”

Offering him a massage was a mistake

Enjoys bathing and sometimes tries to coax you into joining him

“Why are you turning away so suddenly, Mi Amor? It’s only natural for married couples to see each other naked~” 

His ‘goal’ in life is to find suitable partners to breed and to birth offspring, usually male Melusine would have harems of multiple wives...However, Melone started feuding with his family that he only wanted one spouse (aka you) and for that person to only love him as well.

Melone gets along with everyone every well, so it surprised you that he didn’t want to be around an Alraune (Giorno) that you let come visit. 

But he was obsessed with your neighbor’s monster, A zombie (Bruno).

“Tell me, can you still feel this?...What about if I did this~? Oh, Di Molto~! Thank you for letting me conduct research on you~!”

Might have almost fucked him but shhh

As much as he loves his family, he’s adamant on you not meeting them in fear of his dad and brothers trying to breed you. 

So ummmmm, I found out that snakes have two dicks sooooo

They move on their own like extra limbs.

reference owo

Melone’s forked tongue always flicks against yours skin just to get a taste of your natural pheromones, always pretty much moaning at the taste. 

“You taste heavenly, Mi Amore~ Sometimes, I wish you were receptive to my pheromones too~”

He almost never takes sleeping pills at full moon, mainly because he uses that to try and coax you into sleeping with him. He pulls out all the traditional aphrodisiacs from his village and starts emitting strong sexual pheromones to try and lure you in. 

He can smell you from a mile away, don’t try to run from him. Especially since lamias as extremely fast on land. 

“Caught you, Mi Amore~ I win our game, let me get my prize!”

Puts you in a bind to make sure you wont get away, he’s used to several other males piling onto the sole female so it’s just habit at this point.

He does have venom, but it’s harmless. But he uses this to give you a pleasurable numbing feeling, it’s almost like an aphrodisiac itself. So lots of bite marks.

His tongue is thinner than a human’s, but it’s long and forked. The way it swirls and twists inside of you feels incredible. You can tell he’s been with plenty of partners.

He looks up at you with this lust-filled adoration, like you’re a piece of artwork.

He’ll keep on going as he can smell the lust and adrenaline coming off of you, so he’ll be down there for a while as you’re brought to orgasm after orgasm. 

Overstimulation is a must.

He stuffs both of his cocks into you for optimal breeding chances

okay, even if you aren’t able to give birth in any way Melone sort of takes comfort in the idea of starting a family with you. 

also, lamia surrogates are always an option

“O-Oh, Mi Amore! I can’t wait to get you so pregnant and have you swollen with our children~! Ah, di molto~! Let’s pick out names later, okay~? Hng-fuck~!”

He finds it so adorable when you try to blow both of his cocks, especially since he’ll just grab your face in the end and fuck your throat on his own accord.

The next morning, he’ll think it’s just another day of him waking in your bed...Until he sees his damage and ultimately gets hard.

“Oh, such a wonderful dream was real~! You finally accepted me! Come, Mi Amore~! Let’s start again! I want you to be filled with my seed~!”

Ghiaccio: Yuki-Otoko

You were expecting someone level-headed to come in when you were assigned Ghiaccio from all the research you did, until he blew his fuse and froze your front porch after getting into a heated rant about a mispronunciation your agent said.

“YOU SHIT-FOR-BRAINS, IT’S NOT EX-PRESSO IT’S ESPRESSO! WHY DON’T YOU LEARN SOME FUCKING ITALIAN FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF WALTZING IN SOME HIPSTER COFFEE SHOP AND BABBLING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT!-”

 He was forced to apologize for the mess and thawed your front porch after risk of deportation

He was considered very dangerous in the exchange program, his powers and his short temper made him susceptible to switching housing all the time. So he was very wary of humans and believed that you’ll report him too.

“Everyone’s afraid of me...My powers go out of control when I’m angry...You’ll just kick me out in the end, so don’t bother.”

But then you see him trying to adjust to his complicated living requirements (his room is a literal walk-in freezer and needed a separate ice bath). And you would try your best to not set him off, trying to actually get along with him. 

it was kind of cute, but he’ll never say that.

“Y’don’t have to try so hard y’know...I...Guess I can stay for a little bit.”

 You were one of the few people in the house to get close to him, besides Risotto and Melone.

Melone’s cold blooded, you would think he would knew the consequences of trying to get into Ghiaccio’s pants

“TOUCH ME AND I’LL MAKE SURE TO FREEZE YOUR TESTICLES OFF!” “Kinky~”

Pesci tried once and he got scared when he froze half of the room (got angry at Illuso)

Illuso, Formaggio, and Gelato and Sorbet love messing with him to see if he’ll lose his temper and freeze something.

With some warming up, Ghiaccio fit right into the household. Arguing and yelling with everyone like a true family member.

When the A/C’s broken, everyone bugs him so that he’ll start yelling and freezing the house for free or do other stupid things.

“Ghiaccio, can you freeze up this popsicle? It’s taking forever.”

“Ghiaccio~ Please cool the house down, it’s sooooo hot!” “Eat shit and die, Formaggio!”

“Ghia, please let me in your room! It’s so cool in there!” “Fuck off, this is my room!”

Can’t leave the house often, especially in the summer, so he takes jobs online.

yes, he rages pretty hard so the government had to make a special ice-proof computer just for him.

His powers are uncontrollable when he’s blinded with rage. He’s scared of himself sometimes. 

One time, he got angry with you over something and accidentally froze half of your body. You had to be sent to the hospital and he couldn’t forgive himself, locking himself in his room for days until you had to come in and forcibly tell him that you understood he can’t control his rage.

“N-No, don’t forgive me you stupid human! I’m the one that hurt you! I’m the one that almost killed you! I can’t be around you!”

Since you’re a monster therapist, Ghiaccio happens to be your 24/7 patient. This means free anger management therapy. 

which usually goes down the drain if Illuso, Melone, or Formaggio’s in the mood to mess with him.

 Absolutely hates any other monster or human you bring into the house for therapy or they just visited. Especially this one Eel Merman who keeps bringing his hermit crabs with him (Mista)

“HEY! CAN’T YOU MEET THAT SLIMEBALL ANYWHERE ELSE?! HE’S TRACKING IN MUCUS ALL OVER THE DAMN HOUSE!”

He remembers to taking sleeping pills on full moons, but there are rare occasions where he forgets to. 

He’ll freeze you in place and pant, “P-Please help me, i-it’s so hot...I’ll melt...Please touch me!”

his powers come in handy to freeze your hands and legs together for bondage

Reference owo

His skin is cold, so his hands make pretty good tools for temperature play.

“You like it when I touch you like this?”

 He likes to spend time rubbing up your body, pinching and playing with your nipples with his cold hands until they’re painfully erect. 

His tongue is cold too btw

The way he flicks his tongue at your clit while he slowing fingers you is a wild sensation, it gets even more wild when he decides to tongue-fuck with his cold tongue

He gives cold blowjobs too, you might nut immediately once he starts going down town.

“You already came from that? Heh, you’re kinda weak Snowflake.”

He goes two ways, either being soft and gentle or pounding your ass for hours.

the way he chokes your throat and small patches of ice forms while he’s cussing is hawt

“Yeah? You like that, you fucking whore? Hng-Like it when you get your ass pounded and getting choked out too? Fucking slut, you’ll moan if I even put my fingers in you. Ah, fuck, you’re so tight I might cum!”

He’s a brat, so he likes it when you force him to be submissive. By sitting on his face or something like that, his cock will be hard and he’ll be lapping up your hole in minutes while moaning

He was never really into breeding until he met you, now he suddenly wants to shove his cock so deep into you and cum until you’re full

It goes both ways, he just wanna live the fantasy that you might get pregnant girl or not

“A-Ah~ Fuck, gonna cum gonna cum gonna cum! I wanna fill you and knock you up so fuckin’ good! Hng~! Fuck~!”

His cum is cold too, so there’s gonna be a surprise when he cums

His powers can go into overdrive when he’s on the verge of a really good orgasm, like when you deepthroat him in one go or titfuck him. The moment he cums, he’ll accidentally freeze the surface he’s sitting on.

There will be times were he subconsciously freezes his cum - so lick it like a lollipop

even tho it’ll taste like shit bc his diet is atrocious  

Sometimes, he’ll freeze the cum inside you to where it’s slush. 

“This is gonna feel weird, Snowflake. But it’ll feel good, trust me.”

He’ll watch intently as it pours out of you, sometimes stuffing it back in with his fingers

mans just likes cumplay

The next day, he’ll remember everything and lock himself in his room out of sheer embarrassment. 

The other monster boys will tease him (Melone, Illuso, Formaggio) for getting it on with their host until he starts screeching at them and trying to freeze them like normal. 

Prosciutto: Sea Serpent

You were surprised when a construction team came into your house and started building a swimming pool in your house, only then to find out last minute that you were hosting a water-based monster.

Prosciutto was surprisingly polite and charming for being a Sea Serpent, as he warmed up to the household he showed and extension of his personality: he tended to be rather prideful and held the rules to a tea (you don’t even set rules in the house, but you sort of had to so he would feel comfortable). He also had a tendency for violence if he felt like others were slacking or disrespecting him, which led to multiple house hopping.

The government gave you a lot of money for him all of a sudden, then you found out he had a very expensive taste.

“I need to procure the freshest fish possible, there’s a luxury market nearby, (Y/n)-dono.”

“Are we going shopping today, (Y/n)-dono? Good, I need to stop by a Versace store and restock on my favorite cologne.”

“This jacket suits me, yes? Hm? It’s only 700,000 yen.”

“Would you like to borrow some facial cream? This one is my favorite, I got this for a nice deal of 50,000 yen.”

Ah, but he’s willing to share some his expensive taste with you.

“(Y/n)-dono, I have a vintage brandy from Italy. Would you like a glass?”

“No, No. You dress too cheap, here this one suits you nicely.”

“Do you smoke? I recently purchased some Cuban cigars.”

“Here, let’s go to this restaurant. It’s tuna steak and filet mignon is quite excellent.” 

“Let me pay for this, the owners of the shop know me.”

He’s very strict when it comes to cleanliness and chores, to the point of dragging the other monsters out of their rooms so they can do their chores.

it doesn’t help that he can slitter on land pretty fast and his tail is pretty strong, so once you’re wrapped in you can’t escape

Immediately took in Pesci ‘under his wing’ when he first arrived, but he insists that he couldn’t stand at looking at a creature so weak rather than admitting he cares for him.

Prosci has also tried to get you to be his ‘underling’

“Why not be one of my underlings? I have a whole group of sea monsters under my control and you can have a slice of benefits they receive as well.” 

“You’re a weak human, you should be kept under my protection. Join me and become my underling so you’ll have 24/7 protection.”

Admittedly, he can’t cook because he’s also a carnivore and won’t eat anything else other that high quality meats and fish. But he’s pretty good at making meat-based dishes. (it’s just incredibly strong for a human’s taste)

The most fashion forward of the bunch: out of the water he wears nice suit jackets, shirts, ties, and other things while he wears some sort of luxury custom-made swimsuit while he’s in the water.

Prosci’s room is just a large swimming pool. His dry-land items are kept away in a dresser while his aquatic things are at the bottom of the pool. There’s even a glass window near the bottom so he can see the outside

kind of a hoarder, and it’s not even new things: it’s all vintage things because he’s a snob 

He’s apparently been housed all over the world and is a household name in plenty of classy places like luxury stores and fancy restaurants: so he gets special treatment whenever you go out shopping with him.

He can slither on land for a period of time without problem, but he’ll start to get dehydrated and grow weak so he has a folding wheelchair with him. He won’t even bother going out on a hot day in fear of his skin getting burned by the pavement. 

Despises Bruno (Your neighbor’s monster). Says that rotten meat should stay underground.

Remembers to take sleeping pills on full moon nights and goes out of his way to make sure Pesci does as well. He’ll also go to your room and tell you to push a dresser in front of your door just in case. 

On the few times he actually forgets or runs out of sleeping medicine: Prosciutto will keep himself at the bottom of his pool and try to fight with his urges until they go away at dawn. 

He’ll swim frantically to get his mind off of his urges: which results in his tail repeatedly hitting the pool walls and echo throughout the house

to which you wake up to and go to his room to figure out what’s going on

You call out to Prosciutto from the edge of the pool, to which he pops his head out, far away from you as possible. He warns you get away from him as fast as possible before something bad happens to you.

of course, you don’t listen and the last bit of self-control Prosciutto had disappeared as you were dragged into the fresh water pool

“Normally...Sea Serpents mate underwater...But I’ll hold you up here so you won’t die.”

His tail wrapped around your torso and his strong grip on you while his swim bladder kept you both afloat.

He has claws that he trims regularly, but the full moon made them grow back to a point. He won’t hesitate to draw blood from your skin

he likes to lap it up too.

He’ll just rip through your wet clothes with no hesitation, if you’re freaking out verbally Prosciutto will just have the very end of his tail wrap around your mouth so you’ll be muffled while his lust takes control of him.

the more you struggle, the more turned on he gets.

“Oi, Troia. The more you thrash around like a fish on land, the more likely you get caught by a predator.”

Like Melone’s - Prosciutto’s tongue is forked, but it’s a lot thicker and shorter than his. 

He likes to have open-mouthed kisses with you, and he likes using his sharp teeth so don’t be surprised if you taste blood in your mouth.

He can breath underwater, so he’ll have no qualms about going downtown with you.

He’ll have you melting in his grip in minutes once he starts tongue-fucking your hole and his lips suckling around it in unision. He still has a long tongue and it’s reaching all of the good spots.

He can wrap his tongue around a cock to the base, so he gives pretty amazing blowjobs. 

Prosciutto likes sexual torture, so he might do some urethra play.

He’ll actually try to be careful fingering you since his nails sudden got longer and sharper, but he can’t help by grow more aroused at the sight of blood. 

“(Y/n)-dono, you smell so...Divine. Your blood is so beautiful and rich, like a fine vintage...May I taste you?”

He’s a carnivore and a sea predator, he’ll react to blood like a shark.

Not with that clit/cock though, he gonna be hella rough feeling that up

He’s usually just manhandling you in the water, leaving bruises and scratches while your blood seeps into the water. It’s like an addiction and Prosciutto just wants to taste more of you.

He’ll use the end of his tail to fuck you or even double penetrate. Its scaly and bumpy texture adds more pleasure on your end. 

“There, don’t you just feel nice and full? Take all of me and my tail, (Y/n)-dono.”

His cock is also retractable, only coming out when he’s extremely aroused 

reference owo

It’s up to you if you want two or one cock

Yes, it can also move on its own

Prosciutto is super rough, he goes hard and fast during this frenzy and you’re gonna feel the texture of his cock the whole time as it hits your sweet spots.

He’ll still kiss your lips and your neck for comfort, but he’s just trying to get off at this point.

He won’t care if you cum first, he’ll overstimulate you while trying to get his high.

He’ll curse only in italian and start talking about how gorgeous and divine you are, not like you understand though. 

His cock and tail are out of sync: so he’ll pump out as you feel his tail sinking in your. 

He’ll leave a mating bite on the collar of your neck, it’s just was sea serpents do.

Oviposition? HELL YES

they’re all unfertilized eggs, he just likes the sensation of filling you up and then watching you trying to get them all out gives him a rush

“You feel that? My eggs going into you. I want to fill you up before you leave.”

despite fucking like a greek good, prosciutto gets embarrassed and blushy when talking about having children or marriage and it’s such a 180

By the end of it, it looks like you got into a fight. - bruises, bite marks, hickies, a couple of uncomfortable limbs, everything.

He’ll have to get out of the pool if you want to do anything to him, just so you don’t drown.

His cock is already dripping and covered with his ‘precum’ so it’s pretty easy to give im a blowjob - just don’t choke too hard on it because it will squirm down your throat. 

Prosciutto gets riled up when seeing you try to blow him, it’s just you look so cute trying to suck him off while his cock moves in your warm throat

“F-Fuck, you look so adorable (Y/n)-dono. I-I don’t think I can hold back.”

If you let him, he’ll deposit eggs down your throat

 He’ll also wrap you up in his tail and squeeze you tightly as he thrusts into you. 

Very into predator/prey play, he loves it when you let him indulge in his fantasies of capturing you in the middle of his pool or nest.

The next day, he couldn’t face you for a while. His pride as a gentleman has been ruined because he let the full moon control him. 

Eventually, the two of you talk it over and he’s now just a protective boyfriend/bodyguard. 

“(Y/n)-dono, allow me to go first.”

“Why did you say about my human?!”

“Let’s go, (Y/n)-dono. We have errands to run.” Before dragging you away mid-conversation with someone.

Pesci: Bullywug

Phroggie BF

He’s so polite and easily scared, it makes your heart hurt a little from the cuteness

he’s obviously easy pickings for Illuso until Prosciutto steps in.

His body is coated in a layer of mucus, so the only think he can wear without getting it soaked is a raincoat and rubber boots.

His room is essentially another bathroom: a low tub filled with luke-warm water to sit and sleep in and the humidity always high and hot like a swamp. He leaves the windows open in the summer to attract bugs to eat.

He likes to go shopping with you and gets those dried exotic bug snacks from an oriental market, he also likes grass jelly.

You never have to worry about bugs getting in because Pesci’s tongue already caught it and he’s now eating it. 

Anytime he feels threatened, his neck will bubble up like a real frog’s 

Every time he’s scared, he lets out a ribbit and Illuso and Formaggio thinks its the funniest thing ever while Pesci’s on the verge of tears (then Prosciutto comes along and they run)

The nicest to you: helps with chores ( except cooking, he’s a carnivore)

it’s great because you don’t have to scrub the bath since he’s okay with getting soaked for hours at a time

He carries a small backpack with him if the two of you are out, it’s mostly just water (to spray himself with and to drink so that he doesn’t dry out in the sun)

Likes taking mud baths at this local monster spa (prosciutto connections)

the other monsters got really tired of Pesci clogging the drain with mud because he used to take mud baths in the shared bathroom

“Why don’t you just take the bath in your room?! Your bed is a tub!”

“But that’s where I sleep, Aniki!”

Gets his exercise by using Prosciutto’s pool for swimming or goes to the monster YMCA

invites you sometimes, mayhaps he bought you a cute froggie swimsuit as a hint.

He sells his mucus to beauty companies so they can make serums or creams for women, since his mucus has beauty properties.

Sometimes he licks his eyes for moisture when no one’s around (you caught him a couple of times, but you don’t wanna embarrass him)

Works for an extermination company sometimes

it’s a buffet for him and the guys don’t have to waste a bunch of their chemicals that day

Also helps out with hanging billboards and signs in high places because he can stick and climb up walls

Mostly just stays home because there’s not much a frog can do without getting dried out or leaving mucus everywhere 

Likes to play with the neighborhood children or help them out, like getting their kite out of a tree or playing jump rope because he’s good a jumping.

The mucus on his body is only slightly toxic, an abundance of it can make humans feel fuzzy and light-headed but not enough to kill them

He’s attached to you because you actually encourage him to not take everyone’s shit. And you stand up for him sometimes, so he’s happy to repay you back in whatever way he can. 

“H-Here, I can get that for you, Master/Mistress!”

“I can help with that, just tell me what to do and I’ll get it down!”

“I’ll clean this area so you don’t have so much work, Master/Mistress!”

Prosciutto regularly reminds Pesci to take sleeping pills on the night of full moons, however the one day he forgot to and it was all too late.

He’s a sweetie, so he’ll probably just lock himself in his room to try and control himself. HOWEVER, bullywugs are known to get quite brutish and act out their desires immediately.

Pesci honestly tried, but when you came up to his door and offered to help him, that was all your fault.

 Wouldn’t hesitate to drag you into his room and start kissing you silly as he locked the door, then proceeding to rip your clothes off.

He’s kinda messy at it ngl

He’s also very naked.

Despite being in a horny delirious state, Pesci is still eager to follow your orders and lets you take the lead. He’s never been with a human and he’s afraid of doing something wrong.

Ever had a long tongue shoved down your throat so far in? Well, you’re gonna have to experience that. 

His oral skills with that long tongue is excellent, a fast learner when you guide him what to do. 

His long tongue can shoot so deep into you and wriggle around to find your g-spot instantly, making you almost cum instantly with the rapid technique.

He can wrap his tongue around your cock and stroke it before taking it in his mouth. The tip of his tongue is sphere-shaped, so it’s perfect for playing with the tip.

Ya’ll fuck in his bathtub bed 

Reference owo

technically frogs irl don’t have dongs, but this is my monster fucker headcanons and I get to choose the peens

Definitely way into breeding. Back in his homeland, it was a constant struggle to mate with female bullywugs because other males would fight to get on top one. 

“M-Master/Mistress...C-Can I please fill you up? P-Please, can I fertilize you? I-I wanna see you lay our eggs!”

Not sure if cross breeding is even possible, but he likes the idea of it. 

He’ll do it to you even if you don’t have the organs for it. 

But if you’re not into that, he totally understands

A little bit possessive because there aren’t any male bullywugs to fight off, but he’s more gentle than he would be back home. 

“...You’re mine, Mistress/Master! I’ll be the man you deserve! I don’t care if they all call me weak, I’ll show them you’re mine!”

Lots of hickies btw.

Does it Doggystyle

Can get pretty rough.

Will not hesitate to bottom out to the very base of his cock, be warned it is quite thick and girthy. 

He can hit that g or p spot with ease and the bumps on his cock are the perfect added texture to make you orgasm.

Could do double penetration by stretching his tongue to wherever. The movement adds to the pleasure.

He’s pretty sensitive, so giving him a regular blowjob might push him over the edge and cum in your mouth in no time. 

he gets pretty embarrassed, but he can be soft dommed into wanting more. 

“N-No, please, I-I’m gonna cum if you keep going like that! Hng, ah~!”

“A-Ah, p-please make me cum more, Master/Mistress!”

He has a high sex drive, so he won’t be satisfied after one session. 

“I-I’m not tired yet, b-but i won’t make you do much! Just relax, let me take care of everything.”

“I-I wanna go again!”

“Your cock/pussy is tired? But...I’m still hard, Master/Mistress...What should I do?”

He’s like a horny teenager ngl.

Will resort to every sort of stimulation on you body if your sex is too tired for this: I’m talking thighs, boobs, mouth, hands, etc. He’ll get his orgasm and you can rest for a little bit, a win-win.

He believes in mutual orgasm, so if you’re sucking on his cock, he’ll have your lower half closer to him in the 69 position so he can suck your cock and or eat you out. He likes things to be fair.

When he’s finally done, he’ll curl up by your side and sleep peacefully while spooning you. (the water stays warm constantly, so don’t worry about being cold)

Cannot look you in the eye or be in your general area the next day when he remembers.

He’ll pick you up and put you back in your own bed, put clothes on you, etc. But then you won’t see him for a while.

He’ll immediately run away from you with every chance given and have short conversations, until you finally confront him about it and he’s just embarrassed and felt bad he did all of that to you because he was careless about his medication.

You tell him that you wanted it and you feel no different about him, to which he gets teary eyed with relief.

Wholesome Phroggie BF

Sorbet & Gelato: Long-Legged Arachne

These assholes are actually on the national monster’s most wanted list for being so infamously troublesome with their previous hosts and generally doing illegal things

You have no idea why you’re being forced to host them, but your agent just drops them on you.

This is when you’re grateful for Risotto’s leader energy, because he seems like the only person capable to control them

For some fuckin reason, they were running an illegal silk market...They’re long-legged arachne, they can’t even produce webs.

You’re always scolding and yelling at them when they cause mischief, but they think its funny that such a tiny human was trying to order around two strong hunter arachne.

Sorbet is a little bit more compilable to your orders, Gelato is not however.

unless it involves money, then those two are definitely not listening to you

They’re always trying to make money somehow by running faulty businesses, sometimes Gelato would go out and pickpocket strangers on the street at night while you’re asleep

you find out because of Illuso (to which they affectionately call him a snitch) and scolded Gelato to give the items to the police.

At first, they’re trying their best to get out of your household, acting like you were just like the annoying humans that tried to tame them before. 

but you wouldn’t give up on them, mainly because you were told that if you sign them over to the government, they’ll just transfer them to an inter-species prison. They wouldn’t even be deported back home if they wanted to.

If you wanted to get along with them, they were a set package because they were rarely apart. 

You would ask them about their interests, opinions, etc. (being a monster therapist had its perks for this)

They would try to scare you by saying things like:

“I like collecting knives, but I don’t pay for them.”

“I think an expression of pain is exciting.”

“As carnivores, we love the taste of blood~”

You think they're just fucking around, but sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder if they were serious

You eventually found something relatively mundane to talk about: nail polish. 

Gelato liked to collect nail polish and paints Sorbet’s claws regularly

They also like violent horror movies and similar films, so you would offer to put one on to enjoy with them (just hope you’re not squeamish) 

Mayhaps this becomes a regular thing, to the point where they can’t watch one without you there with them.

You somehow worm your way into their hearts:

Sorbet overheard you trying to convince the interspecies housing agent that he and Gelato were behaving and weren’t too much on you (which was a complete lie) and begging him not to take them away to prison. For once, his cold heart felt pain for your begging when he would usually mock it.

 Gelato was ignoring bad mouthing from other humans, but you stepped in and told off those people that they didn’t know him and that he had many good qualities they didn’t have. 

You would take the time to ask them how they were, what they were into, checking up on them in their room (the attic), including them with the other monster boys in activities, etc. 

They eventually found themselves attached to you.

Can’t cook, they’re carnivores and couldn’t if they wanted to.

Both call you ‘Landlord’.

Gelato and Illuso fight over who gets to paint your nails. Gelato manages to grab you and run off because he’s a nimble and fast hunter than Illuso. 

They’re both equally possessive of you: they barely feel comfortable letting you be around the other monster boys

The amount of glares and threatening auras they pass out to random strangers or your FAMILY is amazing

The two like to play tricks on you, or take you away for torture play because they think its an enjoyable game to bind you in rope and cut you up. 

They’re most active at night, so you can hear them scurrying around doing god knows what at 4 am.

They get drunk off caffeine, so don’t give them coffee or anything.

 They’ll hunt anything and everything: from birds in your yard or following a laser pointer. 

They’re these sadistic and cold arachne, but they’ll crack their shells once in a while for you. 

especially if you gave Gelato caffeine and he’s the lovey-dovey drunk

They do your taxes willingly, and surprisingly you find that they don’t commit fraud upon your behalf. They even start nagging about savings and what to do to bring down rent costs. 

They absolutely hate your other neighbor and his monster, Dr. Cioccolata and his feral werewolf Secco. (then again, you didn’t like them either)

If you find secco trying to dig in your yard again or Cioccolata trying to creepily start a conversation (usually about your health and offering ‘free’ checkups), Sorbet and Gelato are by your side to sweep you away or to tell them to piss off

Mayhaps even telling you to stay away from them because you’re ‘their plaything’.

They don’t take sleeping pills

in fact, they kidnap you and use you when its full moon. 

Here’s the thing though, they manage to convince you into allowing them into doing all this shit to you

They’re suave and charming with their convincing, probably after all those faulty businesses pitches to investors 

100% torture play, there’s no way out of it

They’ll have knives or use their claws and cut at your skin, lapping up the falling blood and pretty much moan at the taste

You like choking?: They’ll do it to the point where there’s bruises on your neck from how much they enjoy your constricted breath and how your eyes roll back

Gelato would be the one to carelessly drag his sharp claws against your lower half, the tickling sensation and the adrenaline rush somehow making you more aroused as his claws get dangerously closer to your sex

Sorbet is into lapping up your blood and then pulling you into a messy make-out session, making you taste your blood

reference owo

Gelato is longer and bit more skinny while Sorbet is more thicker but shorter.

BITERS, they are both BITERS

you’re gonna be coated with bites all over your body: on your chest, your neck, your thighs, arms, ankles...Everywhere

They do like to use teeth in oral, more Gelato than Sorbet. So be warned, he will tease you with his fangs

Sorbet will bite your tongue while kissing you to taste your blood

Sorbet is into carrying you up the wall and fucking you there, his cock drilling into your hole while you hang limp in his grip while fluids drip to the floor. 

They’re not nice, they won’t give you what you want unless you beg

“Do you want me to (eat you out/suck your cock)? I bet you’d like that...Maybe if you beg, I’ll give it to you~”

“Ask me nicely if you wanna kiss, landlord~”

“Want me to play with your (cock/clit) while I fuck this hole? Huh? I can’t hear you, landlord: use your voice and I’ll do what you ask...If I like your tone.”

They both like predator/prey play: if the night played out a little differently you would be running away through the night while you had two excellent hunter arachne species on your tail before they pin you down and fuck you where you lay

Double penetration is all you’re getting: either both shoved in two holes, one fucking you while you suck the other’s cock, or two cocks shoved into one hole.

Use teeth while sucking Gelato or Sorbet off, Sorbet’s really into it and he’ll grab your head to shove you down further down his monster cock. Gelato’s hips are gonna be uncontrollable as he affectionately calls you “Slutty Landlord”

They like to not lubricate you enough so that you’ll strain around their cocks and cry out in pain. Gets them going really fast.

Might point knives or their claws at your neck while doing so

Multiple rounds, because Arachne are most active at night and the full moon got them fucked up

Expect not to walk tomorrow

They don’t want kids, but they just like cumming in you.

especially when they coat their cum on one of their appendages and shove it deep inside your hole. It might end up as another round of double penetration with their appendages.

Next morning: absolutely no shame from them. They treat you normally, but the fact they fucked you is just out in the open for them to use as leverage to tease you with 

They’ll sneakily remind you about the night:

“Oh, don’t be like that. You were crying from pleasure with us last time~”

“How about we go somewhere else and have some fun, just the three of us~”

“Landlord, I can hold you up. Afterall, I was able to hold you while I pumped my cock in you.”

“Those lips are attractive, Landlord. You’re makin’ me wanna shove my cock in there like last time.”

They let you in their world and they won’t let you leave.

[mythica0]

Tickletober Day 2: Chase

Fandom; Wings of fire

Lee!Glory Ler!Tsunami

Summary; Tsunami has had enough of Glory’s sarcasm. All hell breaks loose.

Sarcasm

The “Dragonets of Destiny “ were hanging out in the rain kingdom, where Glory lived and chatting about how life was going.

“So, how’s the whole school thing turning out?” Glory asked

“That’s a looonggg story that may or may not have something to do with DarkStalker, where he came from, and where he went.” Sunny explained.

“Where did he come from, where did he go? Where did he come from Cotten eye-Sore! Seriously he was huge!” Tsunami suddenly exclaimed.

“Hey, I’m gonna need you to cool it with the songs , this ain’t a musical.” Glory remarked

“You just don’t appreciate my talent!”

“What talent is there to appreciate?” Came the retort .

Tsunami scoffed . Sunny quickly changed the subject. “Anyways! The students seem to be having fun! They like us for the most part!”

“Really!” Tsunami suddenly turned, “None of them seem to like me!”

“No one likes you as a teacher? I wonder why?” Said Glory, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Ok, that’s it!” Tsunami exclaimed, “Get over here! We’re gonna have a little talk!” She leaped at glory but glory flew into the tree tops

“You’re gonna have to catch me first! And good luck with that! I’ve been practicing with Jambu! “

“Get back here!” Tsunami quickly chased her.

“What just happned?” Clay inquiried.

“I don’t even want to know.” Came Starflight’s reply.

💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚

Glory Glided through the trees gracefully, tilting her wings and swinging her tail through the branches. The same could not be said for Tsunami, who was struggling to get two feet without a vine tangling up her wings or getting a branch to the snout. Frustrated,Tsunami let out a growl as she untangled herself. Then she went to the ground and ran after Glory instead. “I’ll get you eventually! “ she roared

“I’d like to see you try!” Glory responded

“I *AM* trying!”

“See? Obviously isn’t working!” She said before disappearing entirely.

“Hey! Camouflage is cheating!” Tsunami angrily declared

“Who said?“ came Glory’s voice. A plan formed in Tsunamis head.

“I said!” She replied , looking around the jungle for any sign of her snarky friend.

“Like you’re the boss here?” Came The other voice again, this time tsunami pinpointed where it came from and started surreptitiously walking that way, while looking like she was still searching.

“Yeah! What you gonna do about it?!” She asked,rhetorically .

“I /could/ shoot my venom at you, if I really wanted to. “

“But you wouldn’t do that, because you care~ about me~ “

“Oh shut uhuhup “ Glory snickered. “Never.” Came the curt response. “Annnnddd….. GOTCHA” she suddenly leaped up and grabbed at the source of the voice, grabbing hold of what she thought was a tail. Glory suddenly baca me visible as Pale orange waves of surprise flowed into her scales. “Ah!” She yelped before getting pinned by her tail, back to the floor. “Alright , you got me.” Glory said her scales shifting to their normal color, even though Tsunami could swear she saw small flicks of yellow amusement in Glory’s ears and wings.

“Now what?” Glory said.

“Well, this of course! “ Tsunami said before digging her claws into Glory’s underbelly scales.

But no pain flooded through Glory’s nerves, oh no no. Rather a Ticklish jolt shot through her body, and she fought to keep her reactions under control. Even though small bubbles of yellow and pink floated through her scales without her permission, and a small smile showed on her face.

“I see that! Come on! Laugh it up! “

“Nhmhn nhmhn” Came Glory’s disagreeing hum, strained in her effort not to laugh. “Fine, be that way.” Tsunami said before a sudden; ‘PBBbBT ‘ Sounded as Tsunami blew a big raspberry right on the center of Glory’s underbelly. Glory broke. “Hehehehhahahahahahaha! Okhahhahahahay! Yohohohou whihihin! Nohohohow stohahahahahp! “

“No. You got to apologize for… for…. What were we fighting about agin?” She asked as her claws stilled.

Her scales now completely yellow with touches of light red embarrassment, Glory said “I don’t know. Heheh.”

They flew back to their freinds, but first, glory hid her scales emotional display , again. But that’s a problem for another day, Tsunami thought.

—————————————————

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONG! This is where I got the colors from:

[gar-trek]

no i care about ur tng s1 opinions !!

Well anon since you asked..... (imagine we are hiking together, lol :)

Alright... season one of TNG... well... it wasn’t great. In fact, if it was not a Star Trek show, I’m not sure I would have gotten through it at all. Now I'm not saying that I hated it, in fact there was plenty that i did actually like. But overall it just kinda boring and it was hard to really get into it. Sometimes mediocracy is a worse then just being flat out bad, ya know? To keep things comprehensive, since half of this was written in an RV and the other half is written whilst im on 3 hours of sleep, lets put my review into a nice list of things i did not like, and things i did about season one of TNG

The bad:

-I have talked about this before, but I think my main issue with TNG so far is the extremely awkward vibe it has. Shots linger way too long after characters are done talking. the jokes do not hit most the time. the dialogue is often stilted and awkward. The characters just do not feel real to me at all. It's just very very strange. I don't know if its a problem with the writing, the directing or the producing, or maybe just all three, but overall shit is just awkward all the time. I wish the charecters felt more real. Like yeah, maybe we didn't see much of Sulu in TOS, but they still managed to make him a guy you could imagine yourself meeting at a bar or whatever. what am i gonna go have some drinks with fuckin season 1 William Riker?? Nah, wtf is that bitches motivations and aspirations ?? that he wants to be captain and has blue eyes ?? what i am trying to say is that nothing feels real and no smart ass not because its a fictional sci-fi show, but because the characters all act super weird or literally just do nothing.

-Picard. I’m kind of turning the corner here but like... he just doesn’t do it for me as captain. I feel like since he’s the captain that makes him the “””””main character”””” and yet... what does Picard do? He’s just kinda boring. Like the man doesn’t even always bean down to the planet or whatever. And you guys already know my thoughts on his relationship with Wes... yeah :/ so no, I don’t hate Picard, I just kinda hate that he’s the captain.

-Where is the action ? Am I an old white male boomer for wishing TNG had a little more tits out violence like TOS did. I mean where is the punching? Where is the redshirt deaths and photon torpedos and shit. I need more violence, and I know that’s like, opposite of the message of Star Trek but dammit... more violence!

-Every single thing that happened to Tasha Yar in Skin of evil. I know you know :/ we all know. :/ and mini rant but in the beginning of that episode Worf and Tasha had a cute little moment and I actually thought “wow they would make a good couple actually or at least best buds” but.. well you know :/ too bad. Also I feel like they spent a lot of time trying to set up Tashas backstory and she actually had something interesting going on so like.... again too bad I guess :/

*cough cough*

anyway, here is what i did like:

-despite their awkwardness i do think some of the characters are neat. Geordi has to be my favorite, he just brings such a good vibe to the crew and I think the whole concept of his character is really interesting. I like Worf but I still feel like we don’t get enough Worf time and of course I like Data, tbh I never disliked him but he definitely grew on me more as I watched. Data does have the tendency to make me cringe... but like in the way your weird lovable friends do. And of course Wes, who deserves so much better then all the dumb ass situations they write for him.

-I think they do a good job of making it feel like the Star Trek universe without just copying everything they did in TOS. like its super different from TOS in a lot of ways, but still it feels like the same universe, and maybe even a little more true to the universe. like the prime directive thing is taken a lot more seriously, same with the federation not wanting to resort to violence right away, all that star trek jazz. its still there, its still trek.

-they don't do a bunch of annoying pandering. i feel like nowadays when they come out with remakes or spin-offs or whatever they always have to have a million callbacks like "hey remember this thing you loved?? here it is again exactly the same" because like yeah that is easy and it more fail-proof. like they could have just stuck a vulcan in the main cast, don't tell me you wouldn't have gotten Spock brain and just ate that shit up, but they were like nah and tried new stuff instead. and i respect that. because the callback episode they did do (naked now) kinda fuckin sucked. so good for them for trying to forge their own path.

okay anyway those are my general thoughts. More specifically, here are the epsidoes i think were the very worst

- Encounter at Fairpoint (literally the first episode and i kept checking my watch wondering when it would be over. it should not have been a 2 parter that was way too long. Q was annoying as hell. the main plot was not that interesting. )

- Where No One Has Gone Before (very tedious and hard to sit through. "oh we traveled too far into space.... oh we did it again! haha lol!" boring. did not like that Traveler guy sus as hell.... hated that Picard only made Wes and Ensign after the Traveler said Wes was important.)

-Skin of Evil (dumb stupid dumb)

-The Nuteral Zone ( i dont even want to get into this. i actually think this one stunk the worst and it was the last episode. so many things wrong)

annnnddd the episodes i liked!

- The Last Outpost (Ferengi Ferengi Ferengi Ferengi )

-Haven (how can you not love Lwaxana Troi this episode made me genuinely laugh so many times. lots of very good character moments here)

-Angle One (i really liked the concept of male wife girl boss society i thought it was funny and interesting)

-Conspiracy (i felt like this one actually kept me on my toes. also liked when that dude's head exploded)

annndddd that about sums it up people! was that a comprehensible review? no. was it long? yes. feel free to disagree with me or fight it out in the comments. what are your least favorite episodes from season one? do you agree with my takes here? let me know

[maximotts]

omg thank u sm fr but i completely understand what you mean

DO NOT CHEAT KIDS

annnnddd it wasn't for you to write just a thot 😭 ill be more specific next time 💀

- 🏹

(ps. milfies forever 😫)

Oh yeah I didn’t think you wanted me to write it, no worries! I just didn’t know if you’d thought I’d written a stepmom fic bc sometimes I have people who think I’ve written something that another writer has haha

[zumpietoo]

GG Still Very Pressed at Being Called Out

for legit being obnoxious, entitled dicks

OML....so you decided to quadruple down and continue this childishness/take it to “I know you are, but what am I????” and got blocked? Dude, you take your chances, you get that. Put on your big gurl panties and suck it up....

Yeah!!! Only WE’RE permitted to block anybody who dares question us!!! How DARE that person monitor their account as they see fit???

And pretty sure they’re reading the comments cuz it’s their job. Nice elitism, tho....

Newsflash to you, Locky----they DGAF if you like it or not....plus, again, no it really isn’t....and they don’t care, anyway....

Again, so blocking’s only awesome when you do it, kettle-bullshit?

A) I’m stunned by your collective entitlement, Snorty

B) I’d think you’d be used to not getting your way by now, but apparently not. Again, love how outraged y’all are at being called out for being jackasses....

Sooooo butthurt.....

Blah, blah, blahdy blah, blah, blah....Starey....again. or you could just get over it..and no, they don’t “need engagement”

Hey look, Fuckie’s here to be a hypocrite!

Annnnddd......they can use google translate then, no need to be an asshole....and no, the ones creating this environment are your entitled asses....why don’t you leave the fandumb if it so upsets you?

Snorty, they don’t----you wish they did and are pissed at being called out, the end....(kinda a common thread here, no?)

Oh there’s an “immature person behind this nonesense” alright!!!