#oh yeah and i have to do my own tax return as well oh shit

[fazcinatingblog]

46% on the practice exam but some questions were stupid so they don't count

[theemporium]

hi!! i have a potential blurb request - Oscar having that "oh my god i love her" moment with reader

ily and i hope you're doing well <33

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It hit him at the most random, mundane moment—which was ironic, considering it completely turned his world around.

He was still fighting the lingering effects of jet lag when you invited him over to hang out. He knew Mark would have wanted him to be responsible, to sleep and not fuck up his sleep schedule any further. He was still getting used to how taxing the life of a Formula One driver was, and he underestimated how heavily travel and jet lag would play into that.

But it had been so long since he had seen you. And maybe it was guilt or maybe it was his own selfish desire, but he found himself throwing on a hoodie and sweatpants, grabbing his keys and heading to your place before the universe somehow stopped him. 

It was no different to the million other days you hung out together. Absolutely nothing different that he had come to expect in the last fifteen or so years you two had been friends. He showed up, knocked four times, waited for you to open the door and settled himself on his side of your coach whilst you did the same.

There was nothing special about the day, or the moment. But it still hit him like a freight train.

“Do you want popcorn? I got the salty flavour from that brand you like, the one that fits into your diet.” 

That was all you said. Twenty-one words that somehow managed to send the boy spiralling as he turned to gape at you, his body melted into the couch to the point he didn’t think he could get up if he tried. 

And there was you, sitting there as you smiled and waited for his response. You didn’t even look different, just lounging around in some shorts and a hoodie with his number on it. Your hair was a mess, you had even made a joke about it when he first came in. And the bags under your eyes told him your sleep schedule was probably as shit as his was right now, probably from staying up to watch the races. 

But, fuck, Oscar thought you looked so pretty. 

You had always looked pretty to him, but this was something else. This was a whole new level. This wasn’t just an appreciation of your looks, this was a full kick to the chest that screamed ‘oh shit, this isn’t platonic’. You just looked so cosy and comfortable and domestic, and Oscar could almost let himself imagine that this was a sight he got to see every day, that he got to wake up to, that he spent forever with. 

Because Oscar Piastri was in love with his best friend and he hadn’t even realised until now, until this very fucking moment. 

“Do you not want popcorn?” You asked, creases forming between your brows as you furrowed them together. He had the strongest urge to smooth the spot with his thumb.

“Uh no, yeah,” he cleared his throat and gave you a sleepy, slightly strained smile. “Popcorn sounds good.”

Your face brightened. “Good, I was gonna make it anyways.”

He watched as you stood from the couch, making your way towards your kitchen. He watched you walk away as his heart pounded in his chest, as he pressed the heel of his palm against his ribs like that would calm him down. He watched as you rambled on, oblivious to the existential crisis your best friend was experiencing. 

There was a voice in the back of his head telling him he should say something, that he should tell you how he feels. You two don’t lie to each other, or hold back on anything. He knew he should have told you. But that selfish desire returned and Oscar had the strongest urge to keep his mouth shut for one more night, to enjoy the rush of feelings overwhelming him until he had to tell you.

He couldn’t imagine a life without you, so he let himself have tonight just on the off chance his feelings were the start of the end of your friendship, just in case he lost you forever.

.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hello! How are you? Hope you're doing great! I'm sending you this message because these past few days have been awful and I'm in a horrible mood so I thought that, instead of succumbing to my own sadness and rage, I could do something positive, right? And I wanted to send you a message because I'm always lurking in the shadows, checking your blog several times a day in search of some sweet serotonin but now... now it's time for me to give you something in return! Now, I can't give you something valuable, but I can at least thank you for being such a lovely person! And not only that! You're incredibly talented as well! I love all your writings because they're so well written and well thought and creative and, most important, soo sexy! But, wait! There's more! You always bring such good energy and you're always ready to help and you're so kind to everyone! And on top of that, you're sooo fucking funny, omg! You make my days brighter and when you're not around I miss your posts. Sooo yeah... I'll stop being cringe and saying cheesy stuff, just wanted to thank you, you deserve all beautiful things and all the happiness in life. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! 🌈✨ P.S.: Oh I have to say you have one of the most adorable dogs ever! I don't want her to feel jealous!! P.P.S.: I know you always beat the shit out of people (in a loving way) that apologize for their English when it's not their first language but huh... yeah, sorry if I made any mistakes, hope my message is clear!!

It’s only 10am and I have happy tears in my eyes already 🥹 this is the absolute sweetest and I appreciate you so, so much! Thank you for your lovely words, they mean so much 💕

I am sorry to hear you’ve having a rough time. If there’s anything I can do to make things a little easier please let me know!

Your English is perfect, by the way! If you hadn’t have said then I’d never have known you weren’t a native speaker.

Since you mentioned her, here is some Ylva tax.

Hope you have a lovely day! 🫂❤️

[jestbee]

I posted 1,075 times in 2022

That's 380 more posts than 2021!

589 posts created (55%)

486 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lostinmcyt

@masterbaited

@jestbee

@alittledizzy

@scoops404

I tagged 938 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#mc - 598 posts

#jane answers - 231 posts

#dnf - 170 posts

#dream - 96 posts

#dnp - 81 posts

#gnf - 56 posts

#atsoop - 42 posts

#dnf fic - 41 posts

#dreamnotfound - 38 posts

#dteam - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#dream was like here is where u dud an awesome play and fished some pearls and george was like yeah well here is where i died multiple times

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I choose to believe they're getting the entire howell-lester clan together for Xmas, somehow I think Adrian and Cornelia might get along?

80 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

Oh noo hope you feel better soon and it heals fast!!

I'm thinking about sapnap. How devoted he is to them, how much he loves them. He moved to dream and drove from Texas to Florida with one day notice and when George said he was lonely in London, the next day he renewed his visa :(( they all have such a strong bond, they choose eachother over anything else..

Sapnap is ride or die. Dream once said the thing he loves most about Sapnap is that he "has never once doubted that Sapnap is [his] boy and will have his back through anything". And you can see it.

Like, however much Sapnap and George have a sibling-like rivalry, Sapnap would go to war for George if he asked. (And he might, knowing George).

He was "just the cameraman for now" and made sure George and Dream were both okay during their meeting and was happy to take a back seat and that in itself is fucking amazing.

And it's not just dteam. He and Karl have a tax that if you cross one you pay the price of having crossed the other by default. He defends his fans in valo lobbies when people try to talk shit. Hes allowed to rio the shit out of his friends but if anyone else tries it he'll kill them with a glance. Heck, even for all the ways he has a tendency to get caught up in trying to seem cool, he's never once rolled over on his friends or what they do and the game they play even when it would have been easier to do so.

Sapnap is ride or fucking die.

83 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#3

i like how phil sits next to dan when they eat rather than across from him

If I had Phil Lester in the house I'd sit next to him too

104 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#2

I cannot shut up about how Dan was in that video. Like, it had such good vibes. Relaxed, mature, comfortable?

The persona as we know it was gone, remember when he seemed so angry all the time? It's just so so sooooo nice to see him happy and proud of a thing.

After everything he's been through to come out the other side like that. You love to see it

189 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

All the sunlight of our past (COMPLETE)

Phan, E

Tags: Exes to lovers, canon divergence, secret identity

Summary:

YouTube is a mess.

Phil's been struggling with it for a while and has just taken a job as a video editor to make ends meet while he figures out whether he still loves it anymore.

Dan's channel has been dead ever since he started working at BBC Radio One and the two haven't seen each other in years.

During a chance meeting in 2019, Dan gets papped coming out of a gay club and his life is sent in to turmoil. He blames Phil, because it had been his idea to go there in the first place, so they're straight back to not talking.

The only recourse Dan has to salvage his career is to return to his YouTube channel after all these years and make a coming out video on his own terms. What he doesn't know is that Phil is the editor he just hired to help him with it.

Notes:

Written for @oldschoolpbb with accompanying art by @snekydingdong

[Read on ao3]

195 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

(alright bet)

[A lumbering machine strapped with a sharp suit lay itself upon a chair - one of those comfy semi-couches, tired and aching from forgetting to sand down his armor. He'd not bothered to meet up with his nemesis Kellska in eons, assuming he'd killed them 5 cycles ago.]

[As the waiter passed by, however... he realizes he'd been had.]

Kellska: Ah, the Tyrant! Been a while, ye old bastard! How's the legendary status treated ya?

[Tyrant had been in no mood for games since the loss of his son the year prior, but today he decided he'd entertain his long-time nemesis.]

[These two go way back, about 500 cycles of history that neither of them remember clearly. Think of Kratos and Megatron, but if the two were in a thriller comedy; that is effectively Kellska and Tyrant's dynamic. Two horrible creatures, duelling half for fun and half for glory.]

[Anyway.]

TYRANT: ...DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME? KELLSKA DEATHWRANGLER, IN THE FLESH. I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU FIVE CYCLES BACK, EH?

Kellska: HAH! Oh, you wish. Yae'd be surprised how efficient me scientists are ae healing battle damage. Now,

- [Kellska takes a seat, across from the Tyrant.] -

Kellska: Whadderye buyin'?

[Tyrant considers the menu ahead of him... barely.]

TYRANT: HELL, I COULD GO FOR A CHAI LATTE RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

[Kellska - though imperceptible - grins from beyond their helm. It'd been a while since someone had the balls to buy one of Kellska's chai lattes. They say the sweetness kills. They say Kellska doesn't know how to prepare a chai latte properly. Frankly - Tyrant can't taste anything anymore, why would he care?]

Kellska: Horrible choice! Aye'd be more than happy t' serve you, jus' know- waie... Yae don't know the reputation my chai lattes have, do ye, Ty?

TYRANT: JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING CHAI LATTE, PLEASE.

Kellska: Aye... no need for volume, eh, lad? Ye got it.

[Kellska disappears into the employees-only center of the Killer's Lounge, a bit soured from Tyrant's attitude.]

[Tyrant hadn't had the patience for reputations of drinks after what happened last year.]

[Picture this. You're stuck in jail after committing an apparently heinous crime -- you killed an oppressive president. You're of two minds of your situation; You couldn't care less about getting stuck in jail, but your son? He still needs guidance with certain things like taxes and interacting with people without cold-footing away from everyone. Naturally, you're worried about him. He writes to you weekly, when he finds the time to inbetween his schooling and part-time job. All seems well.]

[And then, a week before you're to be released? "{NAME REDACTED}, alleged child of the infamous Tyrant, has been found dead on Highway 17 after being run over by a semi truck carrying a broken down bulldozer." You can't hear anything else of the news in the corner. You can't hear anything. The pain is too unbearable, even after your many eons of needless violence.]

[...So yeah, the Tyrant isn't in the highest of spirits.]

[Kellska returns with the Tyrant's order, placing it on the table ahead of him. Their curiosity gets the better of them, inquiring into the psyche of the Netherbulian in the seat parrallel to their own.]

Kellska: What's with the outburst, Ty?

TYRANT: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HOUNDED BY PEOPLE ON THE STREET BECAUSE OF THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE?

Kellska: ...ah. This be about your son, then. I can't say I understand, 'cuz me own daughters don't bother to call anymo'. Ah'm convinced they think I'm dead, frankly.

TYRANT: THEN WHAT'S STOPPING ME FROM TURNING YOU INTO A TINY PILE OF MUSH AND RUSTY OLD SCRAP?

Kellska: Please, mate. Here ah thought we were through since my death, but appa'ently you haven't moved on. Gimme a window into ye mind, here.

TYRANT: TRUTH BE TOLD, I FORGOT ABOUT YOU EVER SINCE I KILLED YOU. I HATE STARING AT YOU, KNOWING YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN LESS OF A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING AND LOOKING AT MYSELF WITH MY DESPERATION TO GO BACK HOME. I WISH YOU STAYED DEAD. I WISH YOU NEVER EXISTED. GOD, I WISH I NEVER MET YOU. YOUR-

Kellska: You, mate. Not me.

[The Tyrant regains a bit of composure.]

TYRANT: [He groans to himself.] MY APOLOGIES. THE WEIGHT OF HIS DEATH DROWNS ME MOST OF THE TIME. I JUST NEVER... THOUGHT I'D EVER BE GONE FOR LONG ENOUGH TO BE UNABLE TO BE THERE FOR HIM WHEN HE NEEDS IT MOST. IT HURTS, KNOWING I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO... [He growls under his breath.] I MISS MY SON, KELL. I MISS HIM A LOT.

Kellska: T'is alright, mate. You'll recover, I'm sure. Aeh, ye have been pushing through threats for thousands of cycles now, I guess I've never had the chance te ask what your end goal is. Mind if I indulge?

TYRANT: DOES 'GO HOME' RING A BELL?

Kellska: Ah, ye already said-! [Kellska laughs to themself.] Soz, mate, my ears are utter shite these days! [He sombers up a bit.] How long have you been... searching foah Netherbulia for?

TYRANT: FOUR THOUSAND, ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY SIX CYCLES. EFFECTIVELY THE LENGTH OF MY CAREER, LET ALONE MY EXISTENCE.

Kellska: Mmm. Ye should try looking up the latest astronomy news, mate. They might have a lead.

[Tyrant hadn't expected a hint from... a nemesis, let alone this one. He blinks, staring into Kellska's helm at a loss for words.]

TYRANT: A-

Kellska: -'m not lying to you. Trust me, mate. Go online, check it out, get back to meh if ye feel like it.

[Kellska hears someone else call for a waiter across the restaurant.]

Kellska: Enjoy your chai latte, Titan 'o' Time.

[The Tyrant's eyes fall to the liquid in the cup that lay steaming upon the table.]

...

[The Tyrant may be able to go home after all.]

You’re immortal, and have passed the ‘hero’ phase centuries ago. You enter a small coffee shop one day to find that it’s owned by your millennia-old arch-nemesis. You really, really just want a chai latte though.

[finsterhund]

Extended period of hell

No internet! Roommate comes to me and says it's "so weird" how our Internet just mysteriously cut off today. He stresses that he did in fact pay it but I think you should be able to guess by now that in not buying it. This has made me excessively more stressed than before. If you are somehow reading this it means I either went to a wifi hotspot or the Internet came back.

Went to a pawn shop and found out that they will accept my PS4 and my PSVR as collateral for a loan. Roommate tries to be the bigger person and say that it's not fair and I shouldn't have to resort to this even though he's the reason I have to in the first place. But I know now that I can do this if I really need to

Our pet store has a program where every 12th bag of Scott's food is free. It's been going on since Cazza. So I got Scott a free bag of food that will last a while. Everything is fine for Scott.

Went to my bank and had them freeze it so PayPal won't keep racking up NSF fees every time it tries to brute force my account. The guy I talked to told me that the reason my tax return was so abysmal was because of a poorly implemented grocery relief program that I knew literally nothing about. I did not benefit from it and they still took it out of my fucking money. If they're going to take it automatically from my account can't they just fucking give it to me automatically too? Just say you fucking hate disabled people. Fucking christ. Apparently this thing screwed A LOT of other people over as well. I'm so mad because I had literally no idea this was happening. I am infuriated. I literally go to a fucking social worker to help me with this shit because I can't do it on my own. So fucking furious.

So yeah I'm anxious that automatic payments through PayPal for my web hosting are going to be delayed now which is fucking hell. But I do know there is some level of grace period.

Gotta love the way my roommate tries to be supportive here. Did not accompany me into my bank when I would benefit from the emotional support but oh boy did he fucking say "I don't know why I didn't stop you from sending me so much through PayPal" bitch but you fucking did didn't you? Because you fucking wanted it. That's why.

Any and all donations I get will now be going directly to repaying my PayPal debt which is thanks to locking my bank unable to touch my bank and accumulate more fees.

My tummy hurts so bad

[mono-dot-jpeg]

the antarctic idiots [pt.1] - c! technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 1.5k

a/n; fuck it, it is here now. here’s the techno x reader you fucking simps. i can’t even be mad bc i too am a simp for the anarchist pig that is technoblade. 

i hope this is somewhat up to par with everyone’s expectations since i hyped this up so much. this is one of the few writings that i actually like so- i couldn’t resist waiting so long to post it AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

next >

now you never really expected to find yourself on a side of history that was deemed "the villain's side", especially when the villain wasn't even that bad.

okay, that's a bit of a lie. this piglin man blew up an entire country to end government. plus he has evaded his taxes. i mean the list goes on but that's not the entire point here.

the point is, you found yourself actually being friends (even going as far as housemates) with the so-called evil anarchist.

now we might be moving too fast here, so let's move it back a little bit.

"so you want me to join pogtopia?" you looked up, shutting the book in your hand as you leaned back on your chair. "and what would i get in return exactly?"

"...our friendship won't die?" the voice of wilbur soot rings in your quiet home, unsure and nervous at your stern aura and words.

"why can't you just help us?!" tommy flared up, nearly throwing a fit if not for his older brother holding him back.

"just because i am your friend, does not mean i am interested in fighting for your conflicts." you place the book on the small side table, adjusting your gloves while you explain yourself to the two boys, "i'm not saying i'm a pacifist, but i'm not here to fight. i live far away for a reason. i told you this before."

"can i call in that favor then?" wilbur asked. "you still owe me one." you huffed at his words. you saw this coming.

"you're lucky i'm a nice person most of the time." you sighed, standing up and nearly towering over the two boys if not for wilbur being a bit taller than you. "i will get my stuff packed, and then we can get to your pogtopia. but while i do that, please explain the whole situation." since you lived so far away from society, you didn't know too much about what was happening unless wilbur told you about it and wilbur never really talked to you too often.

"well, you know how we had l'manburg.." and then he starts to explain how that completely backfired on them because they lost the election and now they lost their country. "and now we want to fight back for l'manburg." wilbur finishes explaining as you put your old netherite sword in its sheath that hung on your waist. "we just need your help. are you willing to train us?"

"it's not like i have much of a choice since you're cashing in that favor." you pointed out. "i better not be staying for too long."

"i can't make any promises about that." you sighed. "you ready?"

"unfortunately." it was time to leave your home and face violence once again.

"if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only person we've asked to help us." tommy says in an attempt to get you out of your bitter mood.

"that made me feel worse, tommy. i think you guys would've been fine without me if you have another person helping you other than tubbo." you slung your bag over your shoulder. "but if you really insist on getting the help of me, then who am i to judge?"

"since it seems like you're ready now, let's go to pogtopia!" tommy said, ignoring most of your words of complaints as he starts to drag you by the arm towards the dream smp. "it's quite the walk from here. why do you live so far from everyone? don't you get lonely? why didn't you join l'manburg with me and will?"

"slow down with the questions, tommy. first of all, i've told you and wilbur why i live far away, you did not listen though." you pressed a finger on his forehead, earning a huff of annoyance from the blonde. you moved your hand back to your side. "i simply do not like people. also why get pulled into conflict that you never were apart of to begin with? but that's pretty hypocritical of me to say now."

"i get that you're not fond of people, but aren't you lonely out here?" you three walked into the portal that would take you right into the nether. the sounds of bubbling lava and squealing pigmen was always an oddly comforting sound to hear.

"i'm perfectly content in my house. even if it's very far from others. i'm happy." you answered though your words sounded so... monotonous. tommy gave you a look, he definitely didn't believe you. "i know i don't sound happy but i am." before you knew it, you made it to the other nether portal which would actually take you to the manburg and pogtopia. oh how you didn't miss this place at all.

you never liked how manburg was ran even before shlatt was elected. you never really like government in general. it always seemed to be ruining everything. freedom never felt like freedom, at least that's what you thought especially when there was a goverment.

"welcome to pogtopia!" you were so deep in your own thoughts that you hadn't realized that you had made it to pogtopia.

"so where is your other helper? the first choice that wasn't me?" you asked.

"i think he might be here. he's been staying up for a long time. ever since he got in here." wilbur said. "technoblade? you here?" wilbur leads you to a potato farm and you soon feel a sense of familiarity as you enter the room.

"yeah." a low huff is heard, causing you and wilbur to turn your heads toward the source of the sound. "i'm here." what immediately catches your attention is the crown messily placed on his head as he farms. as a piglin, you've always been fond of gold, that adoration never left you once you went to the overworld. you never really wore a crown but you wore a gold pendant instead that was pinned to your cape.

"you have a really pretty crown." it takes you a minute to realize that those words came out of your mouth. "fuck, i didn't mean to say that out loud." you explained quickly to the male that was farming. "piglin things." you muttered.

"a very unexpected compliment. understandable." techno said. "wilbur, who is this again? have i met them?"

"well, you'd think you know each other since you're both piglins, but i guess the world is bigger than i thought. well, technoblade, meet y/n, y/n, meet technoblade."

"i call him the blade." tommy said smugly. "the blade! how's the potato planting doing?"

"it's doing fine. i didn't expect any company to come though."

"well, this is the person that we wanted to recruit for pogtopia."

"nice to meet you, even if the circumstances aren't the best. wilbur is lucky i owe him a favor." you said. "i sort of expected meeting you since tommy and wilbur mentioned you once they came to get me. i just never expected to see another piglin here in the overworld."

"never expected to see another piglin here either." techno hummed slightly.

maybe staying in pogtopia won't be too bad. at least you made a friend?

that was sort of a lie. you and techno never really talked after the encounter. it never worried you, you’re not one for conversation right now anyways. you had a mission to do and you’re gonna do it. you didn’t have time to make friends, at least that’s what you thought. friends seemed to be temporary in the smp, considering the wars that were and have happened.

you weren’t going to make another friend, knowing that you just might get pulled into their fights.

“why did you stop fighting once you left l’manburg?” wilbur’s voice rings in the small fighting pit that was made for training.

“i simply didn’t find the need to fight. it doesn’t mean i’m any weaker though. i will still fight for what i want to fight for.” and that’s gonna be really ending this whole government. you think to yourself, letting the nighttime ambience fill the air.

“you still have your lives...right?” you show him your wrist which had 3 hearts tattooed on it. 

“i’ve been living away from everyone, of course i won’t die that easily.” you let out an empty laugh. “bold of you to assume i would even die.”

“i know it’s ridiculous to even think that you would lose a life after you left l’manburg but what if dream were to chase you down and kill you?”

“i understand your worry, but need not to worry, i can handle myself. if i couldn’t you guys would never even assign me as cavalry captain those years ago.” you said, unbuttoning your gold pendant to place it on the stone cold floor along with your other accessories you had. “it’s not like dream can do too much to me. we made a deal after all.”

“a deal?” wilbur raised an eyebrow as he took off his jacket, tossing it on the ground.

“don’t be too concerned. i’m not like eret. i wouldn’t betray you.”

taglist; @justahostaccount, @olyink​, @aikochan4859​, @classycookiebailiffstudent​, @hubblie​, @stickk-bugg, @goldensunshineshit​, @sadlyitsme-boohoo​, @jace-the-ace12​, @2cuteforyourlies​, @lvlyjuro​

[if you want to be added, send in an ask!]

[cayofdreams]

Relieving Their Sleepy Stiffy~

~A Mini Fic Collection~

(Feat. Eijirou Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, and Katsuki Bakugou)

Summary: self-explanatory really

Words: approx. 1k per character; 3.3k total

Rating: 🌊 Explicit, Smut 

Warnings: somnophilia, oral (giving), hand job (giving), humping/grinding, the ruining of clothes with pre-cum 🤪

-------------------------🌼-------------------------

Eijirou Kirishima – Stiff Muscle Massage

You and Kirishima had both passed out on the bed after coming back home from an intense workout at the gym. Usually the two of you would make protein smoothies and watch a bit of reality TV but something about that new leg workout really took a toll on you both. You had been asleep for about 30 minutes before waking up next to a still sleeping Kirishima. Tracing your fingers along his bare chest, you admired his well-formed pectoral and ab muscles. He really had to have had the best body of all the previous boyfriends you’d been with.

As you placed your head on his chest, you continued to trace along his stomach, his body subconsciously twitching due to touching him in ticklish areas. Your eyes started to feel heavy again at his peaceful heartbeat before you saw something intriguing through your fuzzy vision. It seemed not everything of Kirishima’s body was sore and drained from the recent workout.

You giggled at him before sliding your body down so your head was now resting on his thigh, right beside his pitched tent. Softly petting over his clothed length, you placed soft kisses on his hips and thigh. His soft grunts egged you on, so you got on your forearms and laid your torso right between his legs. You hovered over his crotch, letting your hot breath warm him underneath.

“Does my baby need a post-workout massage?” You placed pecks over his clothed hardness as your fingers traced him up and down. “I’ll take care of you, Kiri~”. Sucking over his pants, you let your saliva soak through the fabric, causing Kirishima’s cock to grow stiffer by the increasing wetness. You grazed your teeth over him admiring the sleepy whimpers he made from above. Eventually you were able to taste the salty pre-cum seeping through his pants which let you know it was time for the next stage.

You slowly pulled down his pants, stopping whenever it seemed like he was about to wake up. He worked so hard today so you wanted to make sure he was completely relaxed through his oral massage. When you were able to lower his pants enough, his cock sprung free and bounced against his abs, already shining with your saliva and his pre-cum. You took the base of his cock between your thumb and middle finger and glided your tongue up and down his shaft. You made sure he stayed asleep by pausing when his groans got too loud.

Periodically keeping your eyes on his face, you took his tip in your mouth and slithered the bottom of your tongue over his slit. You felt the vein in his cock bulge against your thumb and you let out little moans to create stimulating vibrations. When it seemed his body got used to those movements, you lowered your head letting the tip of his cock graze against the back of your throat. He was a little big but after much practice you were able to take more and more of him in your mouth without gagging. Judging by the moans leaving him, it seemed he appreciated that.

Pretty soon, Kirishima’s cock was smothered in your saliva as you bobbed your head up and down. You swept the hair out of your face, becoming entranced by his throbbing cock and harsh grunts. You tasted more of his pre-cum filling your mouth and the taste made you feel wet underneath your shorts. But you wanted to focus primarily on your tired boyfriend so you left your underwear to collect your horny essences for now. Becoming so entranced with Kirishima’s meaty cock, you didn’t notice him waking up until you felt his hands caressing your head.

“Whatcha doin, babe?” His voice was raspy from his groggy state as he lifted his head to get a better view. His voice seemed to resonate through his cock and you felt the vibrations on your tongue. You popped his cock out of your mouth to which his face twitched at the feeling.

“I’m giving you a post-workout massage.” You licked and sucked at his frenulum. His eyes squinted at the intense pleasure on the area. “Do you feel good?”

Before letting him properly answer, you sunk his cock back in your mouth, letting yourself deep throat him. Constricting your throat muscles, you made sure he could get the same feelings as being inside your tight pussy. If not better. You breathed through your nose as you swallowed his cock to the base, sticking out your tongue so that its tip gently tickled over his balls.

“F-fuck yeah, babe. Feels fucking amazing��” His fingers gripped gently at your hair as he savored in your athletic tongue. “Please don’t stop. Fuck!”

Popping him out of your mouth again, you made spit bubbles on his cock as you looked up at his flustered face. “Don’t worry, baby. Just relax and focus on feeling good, okay?”  

He simply nodded as he let his head plop back onto the bed. He felt your pools of saliva drip onto his tip before you slurped it back into your mouth. The wet sounds you were making brought him closer to the edge. “Shit Y/N, m-move your head. I’m gonna cum!”

Still working your tongue on him, you slurpily replied. “Jush leh it ouh, babe~ I can chake it.” You sucked vivaciously at the upper end of his shaft, while your hand messily stroked the bottom. The copious amount of saliva flung over his thighs as you jerked him. “I wann yor cumm, baby~”

“Fuck!” Kirishima cursed as wads of his cum spurt down your throat. His grip on your hair tightened as you kept sucking the cum out of him. You didn’t swallow it, instead slurping it around his head creating more wet stimulations for him. “Shit, Y/N! Oh my god…”

Slipping his cock form your mouth after he was done, you lifted your head so he could see you swish his cum with the saliva in your mouth. Almost as if you were savoring it like a sweet wine. You made a loud gulp as you slowly swallowed all of it, looking lustfully into his eyes. “Mmm~ so thick, Eiji.”

Kirishima could’ve came again from the little show you just performed. He licked his lips as he grabbed at your arms, pulling you forward so he could now grip at your thighs. 

“I think its only right for me, as a man, to return the favor. Come sit on my tongue, babe.”

-------------------------🌼-------------------------

Denki Kaminari – Mutual Study Break

You were helping Kaminari with his studying in your room, going over his last exam trying to help him better understand the questions he got wrong. It was a bit taxing because at first you didn’t know how to explain certain things, but eventually you were able to break down the question in a way that made it more understandable. In a way, helping him helped you as well since having to explain a complex problem to someone really tests your own knowledge of the material. After about an hour or so, it seemed Kaminari was growing tired of looking at the exam material and he plopped his head down on the coffee table.

“Y/N~ I need a break.” He let out with an exhausted sigh, closing his eyes. He looked kind of cute being so sleepy after a nice study session but you were determined to help him improve.

“C’mon Denki, I really want you to learn this.” Stroking your finger along his cheek, you heard a faint grumble at your request.

“Please~ just 10 minutes, I swear.”

Before you could even reply you heard a soft snore purring from him and you couldn’t help but just give in to his adorableness. You leaned down to his lips and gave them a small kiss.

“Only because you’re cute, okay.” You softly whispered, making sure your voice didn’t disturb his nap. Pleased with his sleeping face, you pulled out your phone and started scrolling through social media.

As you caught up on various hero topics, you lost track of time and realized it had been 30 minutes since you let Kaminari rest his tired brain. Gently rubbing your hand along his back, you tried to wake him up.

“Denki, wake up. There’s only a little bit left to go.”

“Hnnggh…” His eyebrows twitched at your voice but he was still sound asleep. You decided to lean down into his ear and whisper to him.

“Denk- heh?” That’s when you noticed his reddened cheeks and strained facial expression. You thought he might be sick, so you placed your hand on his forehead to check if his body temperature was warmer than normal. It seemed fine though, but you were still a bit concerned. Until you heard him whimpering your name in his sleep.

“Haahnn~ Y/N- feels so good…”

It didn’t take you too long to realize that he was having a wet dream- and starring you no less. It made you kind of happy that your boyfriend was a simp for you asleep just as much as he was when awake. So being the flattered and concerned girlfriend you were, you peeked under the table to see if he were having any other reactions. Unsurprisingly, you saw a nice tent being pitched underneath his jogger pants.

“Aww, Charge Bolt needs de-stressing, huh?” You dipped your hand under the table and rubbed along his clothed erection, smirking at his whiney, but sleepy reply. Kissing along his red cheeks, you placed more pressure on his growing cock and before long you felt the seeping of his pre-cum through his pant fabric. You rubbed it between your fingertips, chuckling at how much he was leaking despite his sleeping state. “No wonder you couldn’t focus, Denki.”

“Y/N~ Inside…” A bit of saliva drooled out of his lips at his whimper and onto his notebook. You wiped it up with your thumb before slipping your hand in his pants, smearing it on his tip with his abundant pre-cum.

“You can’t come inside, baby. You haven’t finished studying.” You continued to press chaste kisses along Kaminari’s face as you stroked up and down his shaft. The increasing amount of pre-cum made you able to stroke at faster and faster paces, allowing you to hear louder and cuter moans leave his sleeping lips.

“Hnnmmgh~ Y/N...”

The lewd adorableness of it all made you slick between the hips yourself, so you spread one of your legs across him and slipped your free hand down your shorts and panties. Flattening your fingers around your pussy lips, you circled around your clit, smearing your juices all over your inner thighs. Eventually you increased your pace to be equivalent to the hand stroking your boyfriend’s cock. “Ahhnn~ Denki, you make me feel good even when you’re sleeping.”

“…Y/N~ gonna cum...” More slobber fell from his lips as his breathing became more labored. His hips started to subconsciously thrust into your hand, trying to chase his dream-filled high. Apparently, his body was too stimulated because you were soon met with his golden irises. “Y/N...Y/N~!” He raised his head and gripped at your arm that was heartedly pumping at his cock. “Oh fuck!”

“Hahh…You had a sleepy boner, babe. You must’ve worked so hard while studying~” You continued to simultaneously jerk and flick with your hands while gazing at Kaminari’s extremely flustered face.

“I-Its because the way you were sitting with those s-shorts on! Your thighs are so gorgeous, Y/N!” He gasped as you lowered your hands to tighten around his base.

“Just my thighs though?” You feigned an innocently upset expression as you held his cock hostage in your hand.

“A-All of you! All of you is gorgeous, Y/N!”

Smiling, you went back to your jerking his cock. “Aww, thank you, babe.” You leaned over to capture him into a kiss, his tongue mindlessly licking around your lips as he focused on his building orgasm. “Gonna cum from my hand?” He nodded eagerly as his grip on your arm tightened.

You leaned your head back as you quickened the motions around your clit, also about to reach an orgasm. “Me too, Denki~”. Kaminari’s cock twitched wildly in your palm and you stroked harder around the head in hopes you both would reach a mutual orgasm. “Oh shit-! D-Denkii!” Your eyes rolled back as your pussy quivered under your hand.

Meanwhile Kaminari’s hot cum was being spilled all over your knuckles. You slowed your pumps on his cock, essentially re-lathering him with his own lubricant. As the two of you regained your breaths, you slipped your hand out of his pants, his cum sticking on all of your fingers. Kaminari laid his head back down on the table, sighing as exhaustion dwelled over him again. You got up to wash your hands in the sink and looked back at your tired boyfriend.

“You ready to try Question #7 again?”

“W-what?!”

-------------------------🌼-------------------------

Katsuki Bakugou – In Heat

Bakugou was taking a nap on your bed after a long day at his internship, and it honestly irked you. It seemed like nowadays when he came over all he did was eat or sleep because he was too tired for any other nightly activities. How could he just lay there on your bed with that beautiful face of his and not at least submerge it between your thighs? What was the point of all that stamina if he wasn’t going to share it with you?

You’d make sure to complain about it when he woke up, but he was just too cute to disturb right now. This of course was probably the only time you’d get to bask in the peacefulness of Katsuki Bakugou. You decided to grab your phone and watch a movie as you distracted yourself from your horniness. Everything was going fine until- a sex scene popped up. Just your luck. Deciding to be petty, you turned up the volume to max so that the moans of the actors would wake up your boyfriend and hopefully he’d get a clue.

“Oiii wake up and fuck me, already.” You softly spoke into his direction. He lazily grunted but was still very much asleep. “Stingy.”

You were about to give up when you noticed the moans from the movie did seem to get a reaction out of him, a reaction his sleeping state was not aware of, of course. “Aha! So the bastard does work.”

Turning down the volume so he would now not wake up any further, you spread your leg over his hip so that you were sitting directly on his crotch. You snickered over his sleeping face having rarely had such a domineering stance over him. “Yeahh~ Just stay asleep, Katsu. I’ll have fun by myself.”

You placed your hands on his chest to steady your position and slowly grinded away, stopping briefly when his eyebrows twitched like he was awaking from his slumber. The silky lace of your panties made for a sleeky smooth friction with his soft nylon shorts. The thinness of the material made it so that you could feel the increasing stiffness of his cock between your clothed labia. Your clit was nicely stimulated by the materials that separated the two of you.  

As you felt yourself get more aroused you couldn’t help but notice the pre-cum that started to drool through Bakugou’s shorts and smear onto your own panties. “Katsu~ You’re leaking so much for someone who’s been ignoring their girlfriend for so long. Prick.” Despite your harsh whispers, you leaned down so you were pressed chest to chest with him, softly peppering kisses along his jaw.  

You nuzzled yourself into his neck as you humped with increasing pressure against his cock. No longer caring if he woke up or not you let out soft moans that vibrated against his throat. “Hahh Katsuki, I can feel you throbbing~ You gonna cum?”

“With you humping like a bitch in heat like that? Hell no.” Bakugou’s raspy voice against your eardrums immediately stopped you in your chase of pleasure. You lifted your face and met his eyesight.

“That’s not what your leaky cock says.”

“Me?” Bakugou pushed his hands against your stomach so you’d sit up. Hooking his hand under the wing of your panties, he easily ripped them from your hips. He raised the panties in front of your face so you’d see the gusset that was lush with your juices. “Sweetheart, that’s all you.”

You grabbed your panties away from him before throwing them sharply on the floor. “That was your cock’s leakage seeping through.” Ignoring his rolling eyes, you leaned back down against his chest. “Now can I finish my business in peace, please?”

Bakugou slithered his hands down to your ass, grabbing at the jiggling fat. “Just hurry the fuck up. I’d like to actually do something that feels good at some point.” He grinded your ass further against his now damp shorts, giving your clit an insanely pleasurable amount of friction. But you wanted to feel something smoother so you slipped your hands between your bodies and tugged his shorts down. But only enough for half his cock to peek out from the waistband. You then readjusted your seating so that you could grind directly against his slickened cock.

“I don’t make you feel good, Katsuki?” You teased as you went to press lovingly tender kisses on his cheek and jaw.

“H-Hell no. Look how you’re selfishly humping away right now…how could this shit feel good for me?” Contrary to his verbal expression, Bakugou’s fingers were gripping tightly at your ass, desperately trying to get you to hump him more ruggedly. You could feel the imprints that would be decorated along your faint stretch marks. But two could play that game, so you wrapped your lips around a part of his throat, sucking deeply until the skin bruised. He twinged at the pain but kept his grip on your rear firmly pressed against him. “Who the f-fuck said you could do that, huh?”

“Ahhh~ you haven’t fucked me in so long I had to make sure you were still mine, Katsu.” As you  humped at his cock, you could feel the friction get more slippery as your pussy’s soppiness mixed with Bakugou’s pre-cum. The mess the two of you were making dripped over Bakugou’s hips and onto the bed sheets that lied below. Your clit swelled against his throbbing cock as the both of you became clouded with a looming orgasm.

“Shit- of course you’re mine. You always will be whether you fucking like it or not. Dumbass.” Bakugou’s grunts became more hoarse and his hips grinded up against you. “Fuck! I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop- shit!” As you moaned in reply, Bakugou grasped one hand around your jaw and pulled you into a sloppy kiss. The feeling of his saliva swapping with yours felt almost as lewd as the desperate humping being performed by your hips.

Bakugou’s cock pulsated under your twitching clit as orgasmic waves washed over the both of you. You felt his hot cum seep into your thin pajama top and slicken over your navel.  He didn’t dare release your tongue from his until it felt like every drop had been drained from him, leaving you to whine and pant into his mouth. He softly kneaded at your ass cheek as your grinding slowed from your post-orgasmic, sensitive clit.

Thoroughly satisfied, he let go of your face so your head could drop exhaustingly onto his shoulder. “You’re changing the bed sheets, right? Seeing as how you started this?” He heard nothing but soft snoring in reply and he clicked his tongue.

“So damn spoiled.”

[galactic-magick]

"Stop Laughing, I Keep Missing Your Lips!": Echo x Reader

Request: 15 or 25 for the bad batch, maybe Echo or Crosshair (your choice on prompt and character) for fic request please?! I thought both of these would be funny and sweet. - @gokyacetakal

25: “Stop laughing, I keep missing your lips!”

Summary: Echo has quite the little crush on you, and will do just about anything to see you, including sabotaging his own ship.

Words: 700+

Warnings: none

Author’s Notes: I picked #25 with Echo, first time writing for him so hope you like!

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Echo never thought he’d be as entranced with someone as he is with you. You’ve become his entire world within the short time he’s know you. If he was honest, he was afraid he might not be human enough to feel love again, but he’s not complaining about being wrong.

But ever since the crew stopped on your planet, he’s been finding excuses not to leave. You work at a small supply shop in town, and he’s been going every day since they landed. He keeps finding things that need to be fixed, thinking of things they might need later on. He strikes up conversations with you, talks about all the different parts. You’re the most amazing person he’s ever met, and he desperately hopes that no threats will force him to abandon your sweet smile forever.

“You know, I’m starting to think you might just need an entirely new ship,” you say one day as he comes in about yet another problem. “It’s probably not worth it to fix every little thing,”

“I think it’s worth it,” he replies. “We can’t really get a new one without chain codes anyway,”

“Oh yeah, all the new Empire shit,” you sigh. “I still don’t really get why everything changed so fast. The Republic barely functioned way out here anyway, and now all of a sudden this new Empire wants to control every inch of every system? It’s irritating more than anything else, really,”

“Trust me, I get it,” he scans the shelves a bit before returning his gaze to you. “My brothers and I have been on the run for a few months now, and it’s hard to go anywhere they haven’t touched,”

“Aren’t people who are trying to be off the grid like…not supposed to tell random people like me that they’re on the run?” you chuckle. “I won’t tell anyone, but still,”

“I trust you,”

“You barely even know me, stranger,”

“I know a bit,” he says, stepping a little closer to you. “I know you’ve been working here with your family for years, but your real dream is to travel the galaxy and find something that really makes you happy. And I know despite this not being your dream you still know everything there is to know about spaceships and speeders, you do your job better than anyone I’ve ever met anywhere else. You’re kind even if you don’t think you are, and you can fix anything that I’ve broken,”

You smile, “That’s really sweet of you to say. I guess people do pay attention when I ramble about things,”

“I always listen whenever you talk,”

Your eyebrows furrow a bit as you process the rest of what he said, “Wait, did you say I fix the things youbroke?”

“Well-“

“Now it makes sense,” you sigh. “I knew not even the worst ships break down that fast. Have you been causing problems on purpose just to get away from your crew or something?”

“Not quite,” he’s not sure how to explain in the best way, or how to express how he truly feels. They don’t exactly teach the clones how to be romantic on Kamino.

“Have you been stalking me then or something? Look, if you’re some kind of undercover trooper, I promise we got all the clearances and paid all our Imperial taxes and shit even though I’m not happy about it-“

He cuts you off with a hesitant kiss.

“Oh,”

He takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to-“

“It’s okay,” you giggle. “I like you too, I get it now. That’s cute,”

He nods, leaning in again, but you burst out laughing even harder.

“Wait, so you’ve been messing with your ship just so you can come see me?”

“Yeah…” he looks down at the floor. “I was afraid if everything was fine we’d just keep hopping planets, and I don’t want to leave this one,”

You make a loud pfffft sound, “I’m so sorry, that’s really sweet. But also hilarious,”

“I guess it is,” he laughs along with you.

“Okay, okay,” you try to pull yourself together. “Okay, we can try again now,”

He kisses you once more, but soon enough you’ve lost it again.

“Stop laughing, I keep missing your lips!”

[ofmythsandmadness]

to be called beautiful | d.h.

❛ do you ever miss, having someone around to love you?❜

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

SUMMARY: vigilantes!au. you push the boundaries of your relationship, and ask for a wish you know won't be given back. (or — it's late, and after another night of patrol, loneliness sets in deep.) WARNINGS: slightly nsfw??? mentions to sex, no descriptions. it's not a sexual story, just a part of an inner monologue. WORD COUNT: 2.6k+ NOTES: reposting this in hopes it shows up this time (pls pls pls i'm gonna cry). i've been writing a whole other series that is a totally different writing style, but i've been trying to work out my emotions in small, focused pieces like this one when i can't focus. i might develop this into a small ficlit series of it's own, bc i think it's kinda fun — but we'll see how this goes.

THE BEAST THAT IS YOUR LONELINESS has been your burden for too long to say.

It's hold on you is a familiar ache, one you've felt for years, like a chronic tight tugging on your heart that refuses to give in no matter what you try. But you still refuse to name it for fear of coming to terms with the implications of it all. That you're really alone in this life and you're terrified of what that means and the fact that you can't have what your childhood stories promised would be yours.

Like the fool you are, you cling to the idea that it's just passing notions. You'll get over it one day. The flitting daydreams of a fairytale romance better fit for a vanilla Hallmark flick suck, but one day they won't hurt so bad. You'll numb and find a way to fill the void. And you try, you really do, pushing it down for the quick release of meaningless acts and walks of shames and cold bedsheets.

Sex is a toxic friend. You choose it's pull when your heart aches most and the loneliness begs for your breath to the point where every gasp of air is a privilege, not the bare minimum. It's not what you crave. There's no romance, no love. It's a trade and one that always leaves you feeling robbed of something you're not sure you ever even had.

You rarely remember their names. You know they probably won't remember yours. And why would they? The shudders, the whimpers, the cold moans that amount to nothing but crumbs of a supposedly passionate act only pass an hour, then they're gone. Or you're gone, if you're lonely enough to risk it. A bit of fun, a breath of pink and white and the feeling of someone pulling you closer, begging for your skin against theirs.

And then, it's all grey again. And you're alone at your apartment, washing your body free of the marks some stranger dared to press into your wilting skin, wondering what it would feel like for a lover to kiss you that same way. Running your fingers over every inch that has been caressed by so many faceless guests, trying to hold yourself in the way your foolish heart pounds for. But it's never enough. Your hands don't cup your flesh, don't mould and kiss and promise the carefully knitted lies any lover had dealt you in the past. And you're as cold as ever when they fall back to your sides. Nothing enflames your skin like you wishes it could — like those you wish would.

It's a discontent you live with. Just as you're sure millions of others do. That's what life is; you push yourself through the day, through your mundane day job and your taxing nighttime hobbies (because you sure as hell can't claim what you do as real work if your only pay is in blood and tears). You cling to the good times that happened too long ago to remember clearly, and make the moments that you're alone with your thoughts as small as possible.

But there's no time to consider all that now.

You scrunch your face up as tight as you can, squeezing your eyes shut to the point where you see stars, exploding like confetti in some absurd black void that hides behind your lids. For a moment you hold the pose, watching the stars erupt, until the position hurts too much and you have to release.

Surroundings blur and then clear as your eyes readjust from their disassociation. You stare blearily at the random coffee shop you and your 'associate' chose for the night. It's just as generic as the last five visited, a thousand shades of brown and red and weary smiles the bored baristas wear just for a cheap check that'll barely cover their asses. It's worn and empty; no one's hear except the two of you and the workers who probably hate you for being here so late.

Normally, you would feel like an asshole staying so late. But you can't bring yourself to move, or even suggest to. It's all too heavy. And even if it's in brooding silence, you don't want to leave your partner. Not yet, you beg the universe, just a few more minutes.

And, speaking of—

"What's got you so blue today?"

You blink. Look over to him, only to see him already watching you.

There's really no point lying. He always unravels you too quickly, too easily — it's the detective in him, unravelling anyone and scooping their truths from shivering flesh. Some sort of childhood trauma response he developed into another super power.

You used to hate it. Now...if you concentrate hard enough, his sharp gaze feels like one of a lover's.

"Don't know what you mean," you tell him, foolish and flustered. "I'm just fine."

"Bullshit. You've sighed a dozen times in the last five minutes."

"Tch. No I haven't."

"Did too!"

His teeth glint, white and clashing against the full pink of his lips. You wish you could denounce all the times you wondered what it would feel like to have them graze against your keening skin — but not even all the gods could cleanse of you of those thoughts. Those desperate, pleading, melancholic memories stain; he can't see them, but you do when you look close enough. And you can't escape it, much as you try.

"Seriously, though. What's up with you?"

Your gaze falls down to your hands, eager to escape his allure, though it's not a great distraction. It only makes you more bitter, really, taking in all the flaws that litter your weaponised limbs. They're calloused from a million fights. Your knuckles are scarred, aching from wounds you reopen every other night. A thousand scars from a thousand scrapes, cuts, slashes and grazes linger on once perfect skin. You don't know how many there are, anymore, only that you wish you could wipe them off. Start over, have a clean slate. Erase all your mistakes and be beautiful again.

"I'm just tired," you lie. It's tense and pitiful; you know you've screwed it up the second the words leave your lips. "S'all."

"Ri-i-ight, and I'm the goddamn queen of England."

The absurdity of his retort makes your lips twitch. It's not enough for a smile, your self-inflicted misery makes sure of that, but it's a seed of something. "Wow. Didn't know I was in the presence of royalty."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it."

"My apologies, your highness."

"Shut up, you little shit," he grumbles, but it's as soft as you get from him. It's practically a cry of love — or your foolish mind paints it as such. You take his teasing insults as promises of adorations and his arguments are poems of lust and infatuation that tug on your heartstrings in ways you know they shouldn't.

You're partners, for crying out loud. Professional coworkers (if you call the bloody mess you two create work). You don't get to miss him, or crave him, or love him like you do.

"Something happen to you?"

You watch his own hands fold and unfold on the table. The long, delicate fingers stand out on a man like him; someone who paints himself in only sharp angles and cutting lines. But you think they match him well. They promise life. Bleed hope, even in the raised scars that lace his skin like your own. You've watched those fingers grip a blade, launch it into flesh, pull and push and dig and rip and take and committed acts of atrocity most people would run from. You know he probably thinks of his hands the same way you do. But you think they're beautiful.

"Nah. It's...it's nothing. Really."

You can't see his face, but you imagine his narrowed eyes and furrowed brows asking for an answer you're just not willing to give. "C'mon, just tell me. Can't be that bad."

Your body laughs. You hear it from some place far away. It's cold and hoarse; you wonder how long it's been since you've heard a genuine laugh from yourself. You wonder if he notices (and wishes he did, foolishly, frivolously...).

It's probably stupid, but you go for it.

"You ever miss having someone?"

Something creaks; his chair, groaning as he shifts his weight. One of his fingers taps against his empty coffee cup; idle music for a restless soul.

"Like, in what way?"

"I..." Your nails dig into your palms. This was a mistake, but one you have to follow through with. He won't accept silence after something like that. "In the cheesy, domestic sorta way? That whole, havin' someone to come home to, someone who you can talk to, someone who..." the words stick like molasses in the back of your throat. Try as you do, they refuse to give themselves to him, so you have to substitute. "Just, someone who likes you, past your body or, or whatever."

"Oh."

"Sorry." It's your turn to shift in your seat, awkwardly searching for something to occupy yourself with as this uncomfortable energy you've created carries on. But your cup's empty, and you don't have the cash to ask for another overpriced latte. "Forget about it. Let's talk about somethin' else, yeah?"

He doesn't answer that. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all for a moment, long enough to make you wonder if you've just crossed the line of no return. You can't bring yourself to look at him, hell your cowardice is painful enough to make you wonder if you should just make a run for it, say au revoir! to the bond you've built with this knife-obsessed robin hood and crush your heart forever.

It's tempting, and you consider it, but then he fills the silence.

"I miss Eudora sometimes."

Finally, your gaze tilts up. Your eyes meet his lips. He's not smiling anymore.

You guys don't talk about exes together. It's a forbidden topic, same as family or childhoods or the number of people that have cut you open and bled you dry for fun. It's too personal, and in this line of work, personal doesn't fly. But you know Eudora Patch, because this line of work requires a couple run ins with people like her, and because your partner in crime has never learned how to stop his emotions from bleeding into his expression.

"Not because I still love her, but y'know..." his fingers wave aimlessly. "It was nice, when it worked. I liked having someone to sleep with. In a non-sexual manner." His lip curls a little. "Guess the sex part was nice too, though."

You nod. "Yeah, I get that. It's...it was nice, having someone who knew you. Who wanted to make you feel good, not just for themselves but 'cause that sort of things matters."

"Mm."

"Y'ever consider pursuing that sort of thing?"

He shakes his head. His adamancy is a truck smashing into your heart — though you know you should have expected no less, it still hurts. "I can't. It never works, with people like us. Y'know?"

"Yeah. Makes sense." You want to say more. You probably should say more — but you doubt he wants to hear your woes about intimacy, and the pathetic ways you crave affection you probably don't deserve. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Hm?"

His brows knot. "Why're you asking? Someone do somethin'?"

"What? No."

"Cause, like, if someone's hurt you, I'll—"

"I'm fine," you promise, and without thinking, you reach across the table to pat his hand. To reassure him like one would a lover. But just before your fingers meet his, the bitter reminder that he's not yours sets in and you draw back. Your hand falls a couple inches from his own. "And I can take care of myself, if I wasn't. Don't worry."

He chuckles mirthlessly. "Y'sure about that? You're still the dumbass that tripped over her own feet twice walking down an empty sidewalk, and—"

"—oh, you are such an asshole, why can't you just—"

"—so if you need someone to cut a bitch, I'm available."

You soften slightly. Try to smile, even if it's a false promise and probably hangs like a broken door on mismatched hinges. "I appreciate that. But I'm okay. Think I'm just tired, and a little lonely."

"What, I'm not good enough for you anymore?"

Bitterness seeps onto your tongue; it speaks before you can shut your lips around it. "You're fine as a partner against crime. But you're not anything otherwise, are you?" It feels like a taunt. You hadn't meant it to be — though, maybe you had.

If he takes your jeer poorly, though, it doesn't show on his face. He's still smiling and watching you, eyes simmering with a joke you wish you were in on.

"It doesn't matter though. Having someone's too complicated, 'specially for fools like us. Sometimes it's just..." you don't have a good answer. Not one he'd want to hear, anyways. "I just miss it sometimes. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to, or eat breakfast with in the mornings."

He nods slowly. "Yeah. Was nice, having another body around."

"Yeah. Ha. I," you stutter out a chuckle. Tug at your lip, nibbling at the cracked skin that comes with your long nights. "No one prepares you for how lonely adulthood is. Like, I'm half tempted to make friends with the takeout guys, just so I have a friend at all."

"We're friends."

"You know what I mean," you mumble, swallowing the bitter 'are we?' that almost makes its way off your tongue. "It was just nice when I had the time, to have a person around. Someone to like, hold hands with, or-or call me beautiful, sometimes. I-I can't remember the last time called me that, any..."

Fuck.

You hadn't meant for that last confession.

He wasn't supposed to hear that. It's too personal, too personal, too fucking personal for someone you don't even know.

Everything trembles; you're shaking like an avalanche, ready to sweep it all away under some snow drift. Never to be seen again. But you can't do that, there's no taking back the way your voice cracked as it reaches it's last word, and how your hand slips into a fist, ready to charge even though there's no punching your way out of this fumble.

You crack. Stumble out of your seat. Before he can talk you're moving, throwing a couple bills (too many for your poor wallet, you'll pay for that later) down and mumbling something about heading home. Your head's spinning and you just want to sit down again, pretend like this never happened and ask about some meaningless moment in a meaningless day that you wish could be yours and his, not just—

"—text me when you're goin' out again," you say, high and nervous. "I'll be around."

You turn.

"You don't have to leave."

"I got work tomorrow. Early."

"Thought you had the day off?"

Fuck, la deuxième acte. "Taking a shift for someone."

"Oh." He doesn't believe you. He would be a fool to. But he agrees anyways. "Okay."

"See ya, Kraken."

He doesn't answer you back. It's probably better that way.

BONUS

Many hours later, you're in bed, finally dozing off. You've rinsed off the filth of the night and resigned yourself to a barely adequate rest alone, too tired to consider what usually makes your mind race. It's been a long day; let future you contemplate all the ways you've screwed up.

Just as you're about to fall asleep, however, there's a small ping! that immediately wakes you up A notification sound reserved for only one person.

You groan but still roll over. Your heart may be a humiliated, burning mess, but it still beats for him, much as you've tried to stifle it.

kraken // 2:36 am. you available at 11p tomorrow?

kraken // 2:37 am. got word somethin going down at east docks, wanna check it out before it gets bad.

Relief is a sweet blessing. You exhale and smile into the darkness. He's still a professional, even if you seem unable to understand what that means.

you // 2:40 am. for sure. meet me at my place whenever and we can prep.

You leave it at that. Whatever he has to say after that, cannot be too important to waste your precious hours of sleep. So you roll over and shut your eyes and let yourself forget about the empty space that fills your place.

It's a decision you regret the next morning, when you wake up and realise what you missed.

kraken // 3:31 am. you ever get lonely for someone, feel free to let me know.

kraken // 3:32 am. might not make a great boyfriend, but i'll eat breakfast with you. so long as you're cooking.

A/N - I had a whole idea for two tired vigilantes (like what Diego does in season one, but partnered up) who both are really lonely and tired of life and all it's shit, and rely on each other more than they'll ever admit, and...I'll probably never write it, but this was a fun bit of that. two lonely emotionally deprived assholes who can't accept that maybe they can be loved and the person who wants to is right in front of them. :)

[bbrandy2002]

Fool’s Rush In -- Chapter 16

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC

Warning: Some language, mild sexual talk

Since it’s been awhile since I last posted an update, in the previous chapter Madeleine had confronted Riley with a video after she left the ball. 

Thank you @burnsoslow for the preread and beta.

-------------

Riley sat on a leather bench at the foot of the bed with a television remote held loosely between her hands, folded in her lap. 

Somehow her worn-out body managed to walk from the corridor after the encounter with Madeleine, up the many stairs of the quarters she shared with Liam and to their bedroom. The shock of the situation combined with exhaustion and throbbing pain in her lower back was secondary to the fear she felt at possibly giving up the man she loved. 

With trembling hands, she had slipped the DVD into the player and watched her nightmare play out on the screen -- It was all true. Madeleine acquired an illicit video of Riley and her ex-husband that the Queen had no clue was recorded of her or existed.

Her thumb grazed over the pause button several times, but she knew pressing it wouldn’t stop the hurt and embarrassment she felt at that moment at watching her former husband violating her trust and privacy. It wouldn’t stop Madeleine from releasing the video of it to the press and public. And it wouldn't stop the love she felt for Liam -- no one was powerful enough to take that feeling away from her.

But it was those words Madeleine threatened her with that got equal consideration with that video in Riley’s mind. She tried to envision how the scenario would carry out if the video was released and for those who would be affected by it: her father, her friends, her former students. 

Liam.

“It’s a shame that he’ll lose his reign, all because of you.”

“Would you really do that to Liam?”

“Do you genuinely believe you’re worth all the trouble it will cause him?”

Riley hit the pause button, her hands flying up to cover her tear-laden face as she bent over in sobs, shaking her head. She was wrestling with that inner voice, replaying Madeleine’s words like a broken record while struggling to remember everything Liam told her about trusting him and his love for her.

No matter how hard she tried to let his tender voice speak to that sacred place in her heart, Madeleine’s threats and taunts were getting the best of her. If there was even a slight possibility that the Countess was right, and Liam would get dragged through the mud in all of this, then there was no question what needed to be done. 

Those scattered bricks that formed the walls she came to Cordonia with, the ones Liam had broken down, were quickly stacking up again, one on top of the other. If something didn’t happen soon, Riley would be surrounded and suffocated inside that impenetrable cocoon that initially caused herself to doubt her worthiness to him in the first place.

All of those insecurities and fears crept up faster than a flooded riverbank, and she felt powerless to stop it from rising. Even if she could, she’d never allow Liam to suffer the consequences of something she had the power to prevent. To hell with whatever happened to her, but not him. He saved her weeks ago, and as her teary gaze slid from her hands to the wardrobe closet across the room, this would be her way of saving him.

Riley picked up the remote from her lap and tossed it aside. Determined to get out of the palace and Cordonia before anyone could see her, she swallowed her anger and grief and swiped a knuckle under each eye to dry the tears shed. 

She rose to her feet faster than she should have, feeling an intense shock of pain that began in her hip and shot down to her feet. There were no doubts that the fall from struggling with Madeleine injured her far worse than she wanted to admit to herself. With a shrieking whimper, she ground her teeth together and doubled over, feeling like she might faint. 

Riley grasped her back and gave herself a second to breathe through the pain before straightening up and staggering to her wardrobe to pack whatever she could as quickly as possible.

_____________

Liam stepped off the dance floor with Olivia's arm curled through his and escorted her back to their table. The conclusion of the ball was nearly upon him, and most guests had already stopped on their way out to say their farewells and offer congratulatory well-wishes. When they'd ask about the Queen's whereabouts, he'd tell them she had something come up that needed her attention. No one dared press him on the issue.

Checking the time on his watch, Liam looked up as Maxwell ran over with his phone in hand and dropped into a seat. He looked curiously at the out of breath Beaumont and asked, "What's going on, Maxwell?"

"Sorry," he replied before plucking a flute of champagne from a passing server's tray and gulping it down quickly. Wiping the droplets that dribbled from his mouth to his chin off with the back of his hand, he panted. "I ran here as fast as I could. I just got a text message from Drake. He's heading back soon."

"Did he say what the results of the paternity test were?" Olivia asked.

Maxwell nodded. "Yeah. They're Bastien's for sure. Las Vegas officials are allowing Drake to leave, but they've detained Bas until he pays up the $200,000 he owes to Boom Boom. Drake's return flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow morning, Cordonia time."

Liam pulled out his wallet and tossed $100 at a smug Leo, who promptly counted them out and stuffed the bills into his pocket. "I told you those little dudes weren't mine, bro. Really, your doubt in me hurts." 

"I'll admit you were right, Leo. But you do have a track record when it comes to being involved in weird stuff like this."

"Yeah, I've gotten myself into some pretty hairy shit a time or two," he laughed as the memories came to him. "Ahh, good times, good times. But, y'know, it wasn't always just fun and games with me, Liam. During those few occasions when I'd show up to train on being the top dog of this place, Father taught me several valuable lessons. Wanna know what they were?"

"Not really," Liam answered dryly, then tossed back the rest of his scotch to prepare himself. "But I assume you're going to tell me anyway."

"Damn right I am! This is good shit to know, straight from the Big Kahuna himself." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "You must never tell anyone what I'm about to share with you all. This is top secret, classified Cordonian shit we're talking about; lives are on the line here. Father would be pissed if --"

"Just spit it out already!" Olivia snapped.

"Alright, first, never jizz in a jacuzzi unless you want to be covered in a thin spiderweb-like amalgamation of your own gravy. Daddio said he learned the hard way on that one ..."

"Oh, God. Leo!" Sickened, Liam dropped his head.

" ... Next, when you kiss a woman's hand, do it on the thumb side. Most people scratch their asses with their fingers, but rarely their thumbs. I might be an exception to the rule on that one." Leo chuckled to himself. "And lastly ... Rys spermies are MEAN sons-of-bitches, and we should dip my balls in a mug of hot water every day to kill them before having sex." 

"What the hell?" Olivia grimaced as she lowered her coffee mug away from her lips and pushed it away. 

"My dad told me the same thing," Maxwell boasted. "Except he called them Beaumont spermies. I guess he heard the same story from someone different than your dad."

Liam lowered the hands that were covering his face and breathed out heavily, "Leo, did our father ever teach you about anything other than using protection and sex during these meetings? Anything about negotiations, taxes, treaties ..."

Leo considered him for a moment. "Nope. He said you'd do all that stuff."

Liam grumbled. "Of course he did."

Olivia looked between Leo and Maxwell and scowled. "Well, it's too bad neither of your fathers took their own advice." She grabbed her clutch from the table. "At least I'll rest easier knowing the two of you aren't reproducing. Now, if you'll excuse me."

"I'll walk out with you, Liv." Liam rose and left the ballroom, having had more than enough of his fill of Leo for the night. There was also an incredibly sexy woman upstairs he'd been dreaming of pleasing all day, and he was overly eager to make good on his promise to join her shortly. 

______________

Liam made his way through the residential wing and down the long hallway to his quarters. While undoing his tie, he stopped midway when he noticed a vase that usually sat on a decorative table along the wall, tipped over on its side with bundles of long-stemmed roses littered on the ground around it. 

As he stooped down to pick them up, he found it oddly peculiar -- they didn't just fall over like this on their own. If a member of the staff had knocked them over, they would have picked them up; he felt certain Riley would have, as well.  

After rearranging the flowers in the vase and situating them back on the table, Liam removed his key card from his pocket and swiped it through the key fob next to the door.

"Riley! I'm home," he called out in a sensual tone, knowing she was most likely upstairs -- hopefully naked and ready to get her ass spanked -- and wouldn't have heard him.  

Taking a moment to check his reflection in the entryway mirror, Liam smoothed back his hair and tested his breath against his palm, satisfied he was good. After a quick stop in the kitchen to grab a can of whipped cream and chocolate sauce, Liam ascended the stairs, two at a time, to his bedroom. 

"Daddy's ready for his dessert ..." his exuberant voice trailed off as the sultry smirk he donned quickly faded away when he walked into an empty room. "Riley?"

Glancing around the bedroom, the en suite door was still open, and the light was off, so he knew she wasn't in there. The bed was still in pristine form and didn't look touched. He wasn't at all worried; Riley likely went for a snack, even though that thought seemed rather odd considering how adamant she was about returning to their quarters earlier.

Liam placed the toppings on a side table and slipped out his phone. He plopped down on the bench at the foot of their bed, thinking maybe he'd missed a message or call from her. 

There was nothing.

He scratched his head; it wasn't like Riley not to mention to him if she'd gone somewhere, not that she had to. But in this case, she knew he'd be up soon. Thinking about the overturned vase Liam walked upon, something started to not sit well with him. 

With the cell still in his hand, he pulled her contact information up. Just as he was about to hit the dial button, he heard "Liam" in a low, raspy voice.

Relief washed over him as he stood and put his phone away. "Love, you worried me. Everything okay?" Her face was ashen, and her eyes red and swollen. Liam's insides immediately clinched.

Riley didn't answer as Liam crossed the room, frantically approaching her, worry engraved on his features. “Riley, love, what’s wrong? What happened?” His eyes were desperately searching for any clue as to what was clearly something wrong with his wife.

She held out her hand, preventing him from coming too close. “Please ... don’t.”

Bewildered, he asked, “What are you doing, sweetheart?”

Riley turned her head away somberly; she couldn't bear to look at him. She had planned to get out of the palace before he returned from the ball; there was no way she would be able to face him. Liam would want an explanation that she couldn't give him. But when she got to the car, Riley noticed there was something important she forgot to give back to him, and there was no way she would take it. Maybe somewhere inside, even if she couldn't admit it, she needed to see him and do this right. “I ... have to go.” Her words were barely audible.

Liam's brows bumped together. “Go? You’re going somewhere this late? But you were tired before --”

“No,” Her head shook faster than she realized before she spat the rest out. “I’m leaving Cordonia. I’m returning to Las Vegas, and I’m not coming back.”

“Riley? What the hell is going on? You were fine and having a good time 30 minutes ago, and now, all of a sudden, you want to go back to Nevada. What am I missing here? Does this have something to do with what happened at dinner? Because I told you --”

“You’re not missing anything. I came here to prevent you from marrying Madeleine, and I did that. That was the agreement, and now ... I’m going home.”

Liam started to laugh and wagged his finger at her. “Leo put you up to pranking me? He's mad about me sending that damn monkey away and is trying to get me back, right? Because if he did, that's just … just heartless. And I don’t find it funny.”

“No, Liam.." She shook her head again. "Leo didn’t put me up to this, and it's not a prank.” Riley carefully pulled off the wedding bands she came back to give him and held them out to him.

He looked at them and gritted his teeth. “Put them back on,” he commanded.

“I can’t do that, Liam. They belonged to your mother, and I’m not taking something so sentimental with me back to Vegas.”

“You’re damn right you're not taking them back to Vegas with you because you’re not going!”

“I am.”

“No, you’re not!”

Riley choked out into a wispy sob, “I’m so sorry, Liam. I'm so sorry!”

He said nothing as he stared at her in disbelief and saw that she was serious. “Why?” He asked as his throat clenched and the first tear slipped down his cheek.

Her body felt leaden, never having seen him this shattered. “Liam, I just want to go home, okay? I mean ... this has been an amazing experience, and I’ll never forget it, but I miss my home, and my job, and my friends ..."

“Fuck your home! I’ll buy you one here that looks just like it. Visit your friends all you want ... hell, bring them here if you want to; I don’t care. That's NOT what's going on! There’s something you’re not telling me. And I want to know, NOW!”

Riley startled at his yell, wanting to hold him and make it better. “Liam, I don’t want to be in Cordonia anymore, or be the Queen, or live in this palace. I want to go home.”

He motioned around the room.“THIS is your home, Riley ... Cordonia.  I’m your home! This palace is your home." Liam scrubbed a frustrated hand furiously over his face. "Again, you were fine 30 minutes ago. What changed between you leaving the ball and coming up here? You're not telling the truth for some reason, but I can’t figure out why. Did I do something to upset you? Did someone else do something to upset you?"

"No!" she responded expeditiously.

"I love you, Riley. You know that, right?" She nodded; the glisten in his blue eyes and the desperation in his trembling voice was destroying her willpower. "Do you …  still love me?"

Riley slammed her eyes shut. She loved him with every fiber of her being, and to tell him so in this very moment would only serve to prolong this hellacious situation. The only way to protect him from losing everything -- in her mind -- was to let him go. He would fight her on this, and it broke her heart to see the pain and confusion in his eyes, but it had to be done.

“Do. You. Love. Me?” he enunciated his question once more. The struggle and agony on her face were evident to him.

Riley turned away from Liam and faced the door. Did she have it in her to answer that question with a lie?

"... the council will have no choice but to question Liam's decision-making abilities after not only squandering his pick of a queen on some American nobody but now one whose ass will be featured on the desktops of teenage boys across the world. It's a shame he'll lose his reign, all because of you. Would you really do that to Liam? Are you worth the trouble?"

The sadness crushed her. There was no other way to protect him. Riley swiped at her face and answered firmly.

“No.”

With that, the Queen walked out, leaving the King in an empty room with his shock, his confusion, and an unimaginable pain he'd never get over.

-----------

Tags:

@burnsoslow @dcbbw @ao719 @jessiembruno @texaskitten30 @janezillow @merridithsmiscellany-blog @mskaneko @callmeellabella @queenjilian @sirbeepsalot @drakexwillow @jovialyouthmusic @forthebrokenheartedthings @bebepac @kingliam2019 @lovablegranny @cordoniaqueensworld @amandablink @liamxs-world @choiceskatie @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie @charlotteg234 @annekebbphotography @txemrn @ofpixelsandscribbles @alyssalauren @monsoonblooms12 @mom2000aggie @theroyalheirshadowhunter @princessleac1 @kimmiedoo5 @graceful-leah @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @thegreentwin @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @pink-diamond13 @walker7519 @yourmajesty09 @natureblooms24 @gabesmommie1130 @sweatyrysconnoisseur @kat-tia801 @debramcg1106 @shewillreadyou @choicesstan650 @emkay512 @royalromancer

Liam x MC: @cordonia-gothqueen

Fools Rush In tags: @narrytheworld @queenwalton​ @cordonianprincess​ @zaffrenotes​ @zilch3​ @drrookie​ @sfb123​ @secretaryunpaid​

[moonlit-mizukage]

Chapter four: What’s the occasion Satori?

Summary: Y/n and Tendou are deeply in love. Living on the other side of Tokyo now, the Monsters are still up to their old shit. They even opened a few businesses for Tax reasons. Even though it’s been almost three years later, Y/n still has never been able to understand how they have avoided the law several times. When Tendou’s Mother reappears in his life, Y/n is confused as Tendou claimed she is dead. Finding out Tendou is being forced to take over the family business by his Mother, she soon learns the truth behind Tendou’s reason he never gets in legal trouble is his family business. His mother is quick to decline Y/n as his future wife and tries to set up Tendou with someone she sees more fit. What will happen to Y/n and Tendou? What will happen to Tendou’s “family business���? What does this mean for the future of the Monsters?

TW: Swearing, mentions of pills, Yakuza, suggestive content, mentions of sex.     Word count: 776 

An: Sorry this is so late and so short, Today has not been it yall, I'm sorry dfvhjfhdv TW: Mental health here: I'm just really sad today, I just needed to post a chapter though cause it’s become such an important thing to me to do to help keep me motivated for stuff. 

_____________________________________________________________

Third person Pov - Monday

Monday came faster than anyone could anticipate. As Y/n and Shirabu’s friends left and headed back to their homes, Y/n was getting ready to head out to the monster's house. 

“Let me walk you. I have to meet Suna and Kenma anyways.” Shirabu spoked up. 

“Alright. Let’s go then!” She said as she walked out the door.

The two walked down and talked about the time they spent with their old friends. The walk seemed to go quicker then normal as they said their goodbye and Y/n walked inside the house. 

“Satori! I’m here!” She yelled out, taking her shoes off. 

She headed into the dinner room to see the table set up nicely. Her favorite scent in candle form sitting in the spot, on a beautiful black lace tablecloth. 

“Paradise.” Tendou saidas he opened his arms for a hug. Y/n gave him a hug and a quick kiss. 

“What's the occasion Satori?” 

“Let’s eat first Y/n, okay?” He said with a smile. 

The two sat down enjoying (y/f/f) as they talked and laughed for a bit. 

After the meal was done, Tendou took Y/n be the hand and led her outside to the backyard. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Just outside, I love looking at you under the moonlight, Paradise.” He said back. 

When the two arrived outside he pulled her down next to him on the back porch. 

“Y/n?’ He said, nerves clear in his voice.

“What’s wrong Satori?” 

“If I told you I was destined to be a criminal what would you say?” 

“Oh soo the bike shop and funeral home are for money laundering?” 

“My bike sho- I mean yes, but not what I was talking about.” 

“I have kinda known since wayyy before we started dating.” She said with a laugh.

“No Y/n, I mean like, What if I become part of organized crime?” 

“Satori, you already are.” 

“Dammit no I mean like the fucking Yakuza Y/n.” He said with a hint of annoyance.

“Oh shit.” She said quietly. 

“I am sorry for snapping, but I just have to take over the one on this side of town and just” He took a deep breath. “I have no choice, I just wanted to know how you felt abou-” 

Tendou was cut off by Y/n as she pulled him into a passionate kiss. 

“That's so fucking hot Satori.” She said as she pulled back. 

“Did I accidentally give my girlfriend a danger kink?” He asked with a laugh. 

“Only if it’s you and me involved, Satori.” He pulled her back into a kiss as things began to get more heated on the back porch. 

“Can I see all of you under the moonlight?” He whispered into her neck.

“Please.” She bagged. 

Meanwhile, Shirabu, Suna, and Kenma were seated around the two’s shared apartment. Kenma was off in his own world as he was on his laptop.

“So are you guys going to say yes?” Shirabu asked them. 

“Yeah, I mean, it’s basically what I wanted anyways so why wouldn’t I?” Suna said. 

“You have a point.” Shirabu said. 

“Just this way I have back up.” Suna said with a small laugh. 

“How about you Kenma?” 

“Yeah, I talked to Tendou and we worked shit out. I don’t have to do shit I can’t.” kenma said monotonously, barley taking his attention from his screen. 

“How about you Mr. Pill stealer?” 

“I want too but if y/n is not, I will choose to follow her.” 

“Oh?” Kenma said, as he looked up from his laptop. 

“Well she’s my best friend, like my other half. I can’t lose her you know?”

“Like best friend or best friend?” Suna asked, adding air quotes to the second best friend. 

“Like the first one, she’s like my twin. I wouldn't date my sister. We kissed one time and we both washed our face with soap after.” 

“When was that?” Suna asked. Kenma lost interest again as he returned to his laptop screen.

“Right before second year started.” Shirabu laughed at the memory. 

The guys joked around and just hung out after their serious conversion. Shirabu laid down on the couch after a few beers, wondering if you would be as keen as he thought to accept Tendou. Their phones all buzzed as Matsukawa messaged their group chat. 

Tendou really said hot porch sex tonight damn 

Shirabu laughed and a few minutes later received a text from Y/n. 

Can we talk, Kenjiro?

He felt himself begin to feel nervous, would I really hate leaving the monsters this much? 

He messaged you back and sat up on the couch.

Yeah of course Y/n.

_______________________________________________________________

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[wouldduskwood]

Jake's POV Descendants of Despair Part 28

I was still staring at the computer screen in mild frustration when she appeared behind me. “Yeah, not feeling the phone thing when you’re just through here.” she mumbled. I turned and smiled at her in relief, capturing her in my arms. “I agree, having you here is far more pleasing.” I murmured softly.

“Okay, here’s the situation, I’m wired as fuck right now. Biting my tongue doesn’t always come easily. Also, I can’t remember the last time I ate and we have yet to find clear escape routes. I think we need to remedy some of this stuff, before I go completely nuts.” she sighed.

I nodded solemnly. “I get it, I’m finding it hard to concentrate on this and making stupid mistakes. We need to sort the food situation out pronto."

“I can go into Duskwood and pick something up?” she suggested. “No deal, we go together or not at all.” I responded with finality. Like there was any way I'd let her go there unattended. I'd do anything in my power to stop that. “Okay, but you stay in the car where cameras can’t pick you up and I get in and out. Deal?” I nodded again. “Okay, but we order online from some place near here but not Duskwood. You go in and pick up, that’s it. We can’t get much, I don’t have a lot of money.” I sighed. I wanted to be able to help her, provide anything I could for her. She had left home with pretty much nothing and I was embarrassed at my lack of resources for her.

“Yeah, money isn’t much of an issue.” she shrugged. “We order what we need and I pay for it in cash.” I looked at her, cocking my head to the side in confusion mixed with skepticism.

She sighed, “ I don’t trust banks with that much information about me...oh surprised?” she grinned, seeing my eyes widen briefly. “Very little of my money is used through banks...only what I want people to find actually. I withdraw a fair bit of money whenever I can. I purposefully use machines close to casinos to give the illusion of a gambling problem, but in actuality I keep the money in various envelopes with different quantities. A few days before I had to take off, I had gathered it all into my backpack. I kind of suspected I'd need to leave sooner rather than later. I guess this is a habit I picked up on the street. Hidden cash in various portions. If someone robs you on the street, they usually stop when they find something. If you spread it out in various places, they won’t find it all. Anyway, I guess I feel comforted having cash. It will also be helpful now, right?” she prodded me.

“Wow, you really are perfect aren’t you?” I grinned. “I have been busy racking my brain with how I will raise enough money to keep you alive and here you are sitting on money that will save us.” She smiled. “I think it will be plenty to keep us going for however long we need. There is a little less than $200,000.” I wasn't sure whether I had heard that correctly, so I stepped backwards in shock as I tried to process what she had said. Since she had started camping on the roof of the warehouse, I'd come up with endless schemes to find more money, but had so far failed miserably. She really could take care of herself.

“That much?” I croaked.

“Yeah, I spent a bit after I left the last place I was staying, on clothes and shit, but there should be enough here for as long as we need.”

“Uh, not to sound ungrateful or anything, but is it all...legally obtained?” I questioned. “It’s just...they can trace the serial numbers…”

She smiled and paused before responding. I looked at her questioningly. “Okay, yeah it is all legal. See, I told you I became qualified in teaching and technology. Well...I kind of found a little bit of a loophole. See, many international families want their children to learn English through a qualified English as a first language teacher. So, I found that if you...taught in a more relaxed and fun style than what the children were used to in their home land...well they tended to enjoy it more. They learnt fast. They also told their parents how great it was. Many of these families respect teachers and the market is massive, so they pay well...they also get their friends involved. Well, once I had a few networks set up, I worked out I could get more money if I taught more than 1 kid at a time, so I organised online classes. Parents were happy, their kids were happy, they were learning English and I was receiving full tutoring rates for every single child I had...no matter how many I taught at a time…I was pulling in a fair bit of money, even with taxes taken out, until I stopped recently to focus on you and Hannah…The other benefit was, I could do it on the run. I had tried once, ya know, to have a normal life. Began a normal job teaching and quit soon after as my past caught up to me.”

I shook my head slowly. “You are even more incredible than I ever thought before. Maybe it is no wonder I fell in love with you. You are perfect.”

She smiled then prompted me once more “So, groceries and essentials?”

“Come here and help me order,” I murmured, as I sat on the floor and pulled her onto my knee. We spent several minutes playing the happy couple as we browsed stock and picked out the various things we needed to survive. It was momentarily peaceful, but soon her phone was buzzing once more. The pests from Duskwood had returned.

“Fuck off,” she groaned out loud.

I grinned weakly. “They won’t give up, you know.”

“Can I say ‘Be right back, after I have done some fine shagging?’ she questioned, her voice coming off as innocent. Her question took me by surprise and I began laughing hysterically.

“No you cannot!”

“But it would be conversation stopping!” she pointed out

“Or rumour starting!” I countered. “Fine,” she sighed and opened the Groupchat, once again ignoring the messages to pen her own.

GROUPCHAT

MC: I am going to get groceries. I need food and sleep. I promise I’ll talk to you later.

MC is offline.

“Take this, before I throw it.” she asked me then headed for the car, with me following close behind. “Once you go into the store, you take this back. I’ll field their comments. You focus on the task at hand, but I need to know I can track you if something does go wrong.” I pleaded with her.

She nodded weakly.

“Jake. I love you.” she murmured quietly. I smiled, kissed her lips softly, then pulled on my mask and handed her the cap. “Time to cover up again, my Princess, and never forget, I love you more than life itself.”

Part 29

[ryosei-hime]

Date Night

Continuation of Personal Space. Husk spends the day getting ready for his date with Angel and the rest of the night being a mess. Can also be found over on AO3.

Husk groaned as he rolled off the sofa in the foyer, bottles clattering as he disturbed them. He dragged a paw down his face before a huge yawn escaped. A sound of agony followed as he stretched his back, every vertebrae popping and shifting. That damn thing was not meant for sleeping on. A feather floated down to the floor and he followed it’s trajectory back to the sofa to find more littering the cushions. Oh, great, molting. That’s what he needed.

He checked his phone for the time and saw a message from Angel. It was a picture of him splayed out on the sofa with his mouth open, a bottle clutched in one hand, and a leg over the back. He’d captioned it “Sleeping Beauty” followed by one of those winking kissy faces. 

Husk rolled his eyes as he picked himself up off the ground. If he found that damn thing on his social media, he’d kill him. Nobody had any damn privacy anymore. He texted back a threat and searched around his empties for any remnants - hair of the dog and all - until a static-filled voice interrupted him.

“Good afternoon, Husker.”

“Yeah, what’d you want?” 

“Simply passing through, my friend.”

Husk’s lip curled. Every time Alastor called him friend it caused a visceral reaction. Fuckin asshole. He’d rather the fucker just treat their relationship as it was instead of trying to paint a polite picture. You could put lipstick on a pig but it was still a fuckin pig. 

“But good luck on your little date tonight.”

Alastor’s smile turned sharper and his eyes more sinister. God dammit, Angel. Couldn’t he keep his fuckin mouth shut? Husk just gave Alastor the finger as he moved on with his day. He checked to make sure Angel hadn’t blabbed about this anywhere else. But it must have just been good old fashioned word of mouth.

Actually, he’d barely posted at all today which was weird for Angel. Probably knew he couldn’t keep his mouth shut if he did. Husk sighed and dragged himself to his room. He had a few hours to get himself together enough for this. Plenty of time to go over everything that would go wrong in minute detail.

It was Nifty who helped him get ready. Of course, she knew, too. Whole damn hotel knew. She insisted on helping him get dressed up in an old suit and tie. He didn’t see the need to bother. Wasn’t like he wore clothes regularly and they wouldn’t be on him long.

But it made Nifty happy to get him ready, giving him advice so fast he couldn’t take half of it in even if he’d wanted to. He smiled at her as she fixed his tie and stood back with her hands on her hips.

“You look great! Angel’s gonna love it. I’m so excited for you!” 

“At least someone is,” Husk muttered, resisting the urge to loosen the tie a bit. 

“Aren’t you excited?” 

“Ah, I’m no good at this stuff. You know that.” 

“Don’t worry! Just let Angel help you. He’s great at it.” She started dusting Husk’s own fur off his suit as it shed, her efforts only making it worse. “And he really likes you!”

“Yeah, I know,” Husk replied. “Thanks Nifty.”

Nifty gave him a big hug and he returned it gently. Her slight frame made him extra careful with her. 

“I have to get back to cleaning, but I hope you enjoy your date!” 

“Yeah. I’ll try.” 

He raised a hand in a slight wave as she hurried off. He decided to spend the rest of the day waiting for Angel at the bar. That turned out to be a mistake. Everyone had something to say. They wished him luck. They cooed and sighed like it was some big fuckin show. Their words were supportive but somehow they only made Husk more nervous, maybe even a little bitter. This shit seemed so easy for everyone else. 

It had been easy for him once, too.

Eventually the foyer emptied out as it got late. Husk knew Angel would be returning for him any minute. He finally had to loosen the tie around his neck and decided to fix himself a drink to calm his nerves, but just as he reached under the bar, the doors opened. 

His wings lifted slightly as Angel made his entrance. Husk wasn’t the only one who’d gotten dressed up. Angel’d gotten his hair done or some kind of extensions or something. Fuck if Husk knew. He wore a strapless pink number, the skirt covered with some kinda fake flower and vine decorations. Looked like it was supposed to be a train, but he was too tall for it to do much but brush the floor as he approached. Husk actually thought he looked beautiful all dolled up like that. Maybe he should tell him. Instead, what came out of his mouth was: 

“What’re we going to the fuckin prom?” 

“I dunno. Will you be doin’ my taxes when we’re done?” Angel shot back with a grin. 

He reached across the bar and fixed his tie. Dammit, he’d choke to death before he got through this night. Angel didn’t release his tie right away. He used it to pull him closer for a quick kiss. 

“Ready?”

No.

“Yeah, sure.” 

Husk came out from behind the bar and let Angel take his arm. He had no idea where they were going, but he just let Angel take the lead. Like Nifty had said, he was good at this. When they arrived at their destination, Husk was a little grateful she’d insisted on dressing him up. Angel had chosen some high end, classy joint. 

They got a lot of stares on the way to their table. He knew Angel was the center of attention wherever he went, but he didn’t like being caught in the crossfire of all those lustful gazes. A growl sounded low in his chest before he could stop it, his teeth bared. The stares become a little less overt.

Angel put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t scare my fans, Husk. I’m used to it.”

“Well, I’m not. People need to mind their own fuckin business.”

Without thinking about it, Husk pulled a chair out for Angel. At least he remembered something from the old days.

“Whatta gentleman,” Angel joked, batting his lashes at him as he sat. 

Husk gave his chair a rough shove up to the table, taking his own with a grumble. When he looked up, Angel had his chin on his hands, fingers laced to make a cradle, staring at him with such a soft look it took Husk’s breath away. He made himself busy with the menu. As the waiter approached, Angel sat up suddenly.

“Oh, I forgot. This place is Italian. Like Italian Italian. But I can order for ya, if ya want.” 

Angel looked quite proud of himself and Husk hated to burst his bubble. 

“I got it.”

He gave the waiter his order in perfect Italian and looked back to Angel as the waiter turned to him. Angel stared at him in shock for a moment before stumbling through his own order. He waited until the waiter had disappeared before going off.

“You know Italian? Holy shit, Husk! I been dirty talkin ya all this time at the bar and you knew?!”

Husk hid his smirk behind his menu, trying not to laugh. Angel pushed it away and stared him down, motioning with two fingers between them.

“You look at me, look at me!” 

Husk looked up, still grinning. Angel’s face had gone stern, and he held his gaze for a moment before simply uttering,

“You bastard.” 

Husk let himself laugh a little and teased him. 

“You get real creative when you’re drunk, you know that?”  

Angel just smirked and crossed his second set of arms while another hand brought a glass of wine up to his cheek.

“Well, I guess you know what you got to look forward to then, donchya?”

The conversation during dinner remained light-hearted and Angel kept reaching out for Husk’s paw, making eyes at him. He avoided making direct eye contact, insides churning every time Angel tried. Once their plates were taken away, Angel stood and held a hand out to him.

“Can I get a dance before we go?” 

Husk felt a little more confident as he put a paw in his hand. Dancing was something he knew he could do at least. He smiled back at him.

“Sure.” 

He let Angel draw him out onto the dance floor and pull him into a waltzing position. His extra hands found a place to rest on Husk’s hips as they began to move. Angel took the lead, but Husk had expected as much with the height difference. He wouldn’t let Angel know, but he was surprised he knew how to waltz. It seemed a bit old-fashioned for him. Or at least for how he tended to present himself. It was easy to forget he was from an older era than he was.

“Thank you.”

Husk looked up and felt all the air rush out of his lungs again. Angel gazed down at him with such a genuine look of gratitude. If he didn’t stop stealing his breath, he’d never make it through this night.

“A bet’s a bet,” he repeated.

“You didn’t have to go on a date with me, but ya did. I really appreciate that. It’s nice.” 

Husk closed their stance and pressed his forehead against Angel’s shoulder in response. Angel’s secondary arms held him close, his other hands sliding softly over his shoulders and down his arms. Husk turned his face in towards Angel’s neck instinctually. Everything felt so warm and comforting in this moment. Husk had to say something to break the spell before he started purring and embarrassed himself.

“You’re payin’ right? Cause I can’t afford this shit on my salary.”

“Don’t worry. I gotchya, babe,” Angel replied. “The least I can do is buy ya dinner first.”

Husk pulled back and a hand found his cheek as Angel leaned down to kiss him softly. Then again, a bit harder, staring at him through half-lidded eyes. Husk had to close his, but his paws slid up Angel’s back to grip his shoulders as he reciprocated. Angel broke the kiss and lowered his lips to Husk’s ear, brushing over the hairs at the tip for a moment, sending a thrill through his whole body. 

“Let’s get outta here.”

Husk just nodded his agreement as Angel moved towards the table to pay, his hand sliding off Husk’s shoulder as he went. Husk loosened his tie as he focused on breathing. Fuck. This was happening. Shit. Fuck. As he panicked, a feather slowly floated to the floor then another. Oh, fan-fucking-tastic! This shit!

He stepped on the feathers to hide them as Angel returned, trying to keep a neutral expression. He probably wouldn’t have noticed the feathers anyways. He had his eyes locked onto Husk’s as he reached for his arm again. A devious light there had chased away the tenderness that had been prevalent the rest of the night, letting Husk know Angel’d fully shifted gears. 

Thankfully when they returned to the hotel it wasn’t to some kind of fuckin fanfare. He’d half expected some kind of congratulatory party, the way people acted around here. But the foyer was as empty as it usually was this time of night. Just the two of them as it so often was. Angel stopped by the bar and released his arm. 

“Okay, gimme ten to slip into somethin more comfortable,” Angel said with a joking tone. “Then meet me in my room.” 

He made a show of walking away, swinging his hips and looking back at Husk over his shoulder before disappearing down the corridor. Husk just stood there calmly until he was out of sight. Once alone, he threw himself abruptly over the bar, gasping in air like a drowning man. He sent bottles clattering to the floor as he fished around for a drink. He leaned back against the bar and sank to the ground as he chugged whatever booze he’d managed to grab. The chugging became less frantic after a moment and he started to breathe again. Thank fucking god for alcohol. 

“You did this to yourself, asshole,” he muttered under his breath. 

He watched the clock as it ticked away the seconds he had to get himself together. He finally did away with his tie entirely and ran a paw over his head. Okay, this wasn’t such a big deal. God, it wasn’t like he didn’t find Angel attractive. And this would make him happy. 

All of Husk’s limbs went limp and his head banged back against the bar. Dammit, he wanted him to be happy. How had he let this happen? He sighed and let the empty bottle roll out of his grasp before picking himself up off the floor. 

He trudged down the hall to Angel’s room, leaving a sparse trail of feathers in his wake, and gave a light rap on the door before pushing it open. The lights were low and tinged pink from the scarves draped over the shades. Angel had tossed rose petals around the room wildly. He followed their general trail over to the bed where Angel was, of course, poised seductively. 

He’d changed out of the prom dress and into lacy black lingerie, makeup entirely redone to match. How the fuck did he do that so fast? Angel shifted forward and pushed himself off the bed, sauntering over to him the way he approached a pole at a show. He brushed the back of a hand against his cheek as he circled around behind him. All three sets of arms snaked around him, hands working at buttons and sliding under his shirt.

Husk froze as his clothes just fell around him, only brought back to motion by the shiver that went down his spine when Angel pressed soft kisses against the back of his neck. Damn, he was good. His paws rose to find the closest pair of Angel’s hands and slid over them. Angel nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck before finding his ear. 

“I’ve been waiting for this.” 

Husk turned in his arms and tried to think of something to say. All he could think of was how long it had been and how badly he was about to fuck up. He started backing away slowly, but Angel followed. 

He felt his knees buckle as he backed up into the bedframe. He fell back onto the bed and Angel leaned over him, using a pair of arms to hold himself up while the other two ran down his chest. Husk’s throat felt like it had closed up and he gasped for air. 

“W-wait.” 

[ravnicaforgoblins]

Ravnica for Goblins

More Awesome NPCs of Ravnica

NPCs are one of the most important tools in a DM’s campaign. Your assorted guards, informants, bartenders, hench-persons, random civilians, and, of course, your quest-givers. Optimistically, you hope to have certain NPCs stick around for a while to have the party build a relationship with them, as opposed to getting murder-hobo-ed because your party doesn’t like their attitude. Which is why it’s so great that Ravnica is filled with cool NPCs who are definitely stronger than your party (for a while)!

A couple notes; I already did a list of Awesome NPCs, focusing on the Ladies of Ravnica, so this time I thought I’d try and give the boys (and Melek) some spotlight. Secondly, as I’ve by now made annoyingly apparent, I’m focusing on characters in the modern era of Ravnica, i.e. after the Decamillennial, because everything before the Decamillennial is a nightmare to figure out and you don’t need that headache.

Tajic, Blade of the Legion

You can’t have the Boros without Tajic. Well, you can, but you don’t want to. Tajic is the Legion’s Champion as well as their Mazerunner, and embodies all the ideals the Legion stands for. Unity, strength, passion; an unbreakable shield against all who would threaten Ravnica’s citizens. He is technically considered a Firefist, but special considerations should be made to give him the flavor he really deserves. Both of Tajic’s MTG cards have had some manner of protection against damage when involving other creatures. In addition, Firefists are actually primarily spellcasters, whereas Tajic is never seen without a blade in his hand or his name. So, to sum up, take a Firefist, add in some manner of damage resistance or even immunity contingent upon having allies present, throw in a weapon trick or two for his big wavy sword, and ta-da! You’ve got Tajic!

Momir Vig, Simic Visionary

I know I said no pre-Decamillennial, but Momir Vig is a special case. Technically, the former Guildmaster is dead, but the shadow of his reign still lingers over the Simic Combine. Momir Vig symbolizes everything Ravnica fears about the Combine; progress without restraint. Vig’s cytoplasts were oozes designed for personalized evolution in subjects to correct flaws and deficiencies (regrowing lost limbs, bolstering weakened immune systems, extra brain cells, etc). The only problem is that the project worked so well that Vig stopped seeing the need for consent, creating a new form of cytoplast that only needs to touch a host to bond with it. This raised some understandable concerns among Ravnican citizens, as well as the other Guilds. These concerns went to 11 when Vig’s Project Kraj, a gargantuan organism composed of thousands of cytoplasts, was activated to purge Ravnica and start over with a fresh slate. They went to a further 12 when Vig was killed, Project Kraj summoned every cytoplasm back to it (maiming, crippling, or killing a large number of hosts), and proceeded to go on a rampage that only ended after it ate Rakdos and went into a coma.

Momir Vig is exactly the kind of mad scientist to escape the grave, go underground, and continue his research unimpeded until it’s ready. A Rogue Guildmaster with no boundaries, or as we like to call it, a ready-made Big Bad.

Melek, Izzet Paragon

As with Vig, Melek is canonically dead, but that sort of “dead” that could conceivably be temporary if the story requires it. Melek is a Weird designed by Niv-Mizzet himself to be the Izzet Mazerunner. A certain sparkmage had other ideas however, so he absorbed the sentient being of pure elemental energy into himself at the start of the Maze and took its place, then tried to shock the other runners to death because, you know, winning. But following the physics principle that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only changed into a different form, it’s believable that Melek could return someday. Probably with a grudge against said sparkmage. Melek is a fascinating build, combining high-level spellcasting with complete elemental resistance or possibly even immunity. Basically, a wizard who can tank. Even more intriguing, any lab run by a being composed of pure energy would be calibrated to channel said energy, possibly allowing short-range teleportation within said lab. This is a brilliant exercise in lair mechanics, so don’t hold back. Lest we forget Melek is a personal project of the Firemind, aka, the single most brilliant, powerful, and egocentric fire-breathing ancient dragon wizard in Ravnican history.

Tomik Vrona, Distinguished Advokist

Given the Orzhov Syndicate’s seeming fascination with being a faceless hierarchy of priests, lawmages, ghosts, tax collectors, etc; it’s nice to have another face with a name. Tomik Vrona is a lawmage who apprenticed under Teysa Karlov herself, making him a master of Ravnican law. It also makes him uncharacteristically open to relationships with other Guilds, as he is effectively Teysa’s link to the outside world during her imprisonment. Tomik carries a strong respect for the law, but is a passionate lover of interesting & creative loopholes. In short, he’s not inherently evil/greedy like most of the Syndicate, but still has ambition in spades. He prefers to use gargoyles for transportation, treasures every book he owns, and is canonically dating/living with that hot-tempered sparkmage mentioned previously. Whether the relationship is public or not is up to you. I personally see it as a measure of trust between the NPCs and the party; it’s a pretty controversial pairing of Guilds. It could even be a Romeo & Juliet (Julio?) kind of affair, just putting that out there.

Vorel of Hull Clade

If Momir Vig represents the dark side of the Simic Combine’s experiments, Vorel represents the infinite possibility they can offer. A former Gruul shaman, he made the decision to give up a piece of his clan’s territory to a Boros Legion garrison to better fortify their home turf, and was nearly killed when they turned on him for perceived cowardice. Vorel escaped and joined the Combine, where he was given Merfolk traits and an environment that embraced his ideas & strategic thinking. Vorel is extremely grateful to his new Guild, and believes himself to be an example of how anything is possible through the Simic, no matter one’s origins. His strong passion & drive have led to great breakthroughs, but he’s definitely more emotionally-driven than most Simic researchers. Here is a Biomancer that isn’t afraid to get dirty or bloody in combat. This could be a fun experiment in crafting a Simic Melee Weapon.

Tolsimir Wolfblood, Ledev Guardian

You know that one leader elf in fantasy stories who everyone else takes orders from but never fights themselves? Yeah, this isn’t that elf. This is what you wish that elf was, a warrior archer who leads his soldiers into battle atop a giant dire wolf and kicks some serious ass. The Ledev are Selesnya’s elite mounted force, skilled fighters, archers, swordsmen, and even spellcasters. They are the cavalry, the breaking dawn on Hornburg, the “oh shit” in an enemy’s mouth. Please don’t make the mistakes of countless fantasy novels by being on bad terms with such badass warriors. Having any member of the Ledev behind you should be a boost to the party’s courage & resolve. Having Tolsimir fight alongside you should be one of the greatest honors of your life. The chance to finally recreate that “besties” relationship between Legolas & Gimli as you see who can kill the most enemies in battle.

Domri Rade, City Smasher

I hesitate to include Domri, I genuinely do. He’s a scraggly little punk who nearly brought about the destruction of the Gruul (and all of Ravnica) ultimately because he was too weak and too stupid. I include him here out of respect for the lore, but you can honestly do better. Domri Rade was considered too small & weak for any Gruul clan, so he instead bonded with the savage animals of the Rubblebelt, eventually discovering he could incite them into stampedes at will. This new power finally granted him admission into Borborygmos’ own Burning Tree Clan, but he panicked during the burial rite of passage and planeswalked away for the first time. Eventually he learned to control his powers, returned to the Rubblebelt, challenged Borborygmos for leadership of the Burning Tree clan, and won by sending wave after wave of stampeding boars to trample the cyclops Guildmaster. He was enlisted by Nicol Bolas to help destroy Ravnica, and failed to realize that meant him too as an eternal ripped out his Planeswalker Spark, killing him. Domri Rade is basically a cheap knockoff of Garruk Wildspeaker, only smaller and weaker and dumber and infinitely less dangerous. He is, however, considered by many to be an omen of the End-Raze, heralding the return of the Boar God Ilharg and the burning down of Ravnica by the Gruul who follow the Old Ways. So maybe play up that angle if you include him in your campaign.

Ral Zarek, Izzet Viceroy

If you only include one NPC from any of my lists in your Ravnica campaign, you must include Ral Zarek. Failing to do so is denying your players the opportunity to interact with the single coolest character in Ravnica. He beats out Vraska for the sole reason that he’s a much more public & accessible figure than the Gorgon Assassin, and an unexpected encounter with him is significantly less likely to end in your death/petrification. Between his good looks, cocky grin, brilliant mind, and lightning powers that put Thor to shame; Ral is certain to make any situation more interesting. He’s a great contact to have within the Izzet, a brilliant researcher, extremely talented with designing gadgets or magic items, an astonishingly powerful magic user, and a fun guy to hang around with. He can definitely have a temper on him, so understand when to back away. Hint: His hair turns from black to white when his electromancy powers are activating. You’ll also probably notice the sounds of static discharge building up around him, perhaps a faint smell of ozone, crackling energy coming from his gauntlet, and, oh yeah, his eyes glow and his smile turns into a growling grimace of death as he fills you with lightning. Whether by design or accident, Ral is basically the mascot for Ravnica, and it’s almost unthinkable for him to be absent from a campaign set there.

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Pivitol~

Summary: Life is good when you do good, or when you see good. When you act in good...put good in, get good out. However, the devil has a funny way at sending temptation right to your doorway. Unfortunately for Kai, he answered that call.

Chapter: 12

Warnings: None

“Are you going to stand around all day and watch me dust pictures and shelves?”

“Oh well...no but...”

“But?”

“Uh nothing. I suppose I just don’t feel like going back to work when you’re around. Honestly having you here feels like a mini vacation for me.”

“I’m glad you think that way about me but I don’t think Pops will be so happy to know his successor is slacking off on the job. If the yakuza is anything like the books and the movies, you should be out running the streets and doing gangster stuff by now haha!”

“Yeah but the times have changed.” He leaned against the walls and watched you go to town with the duster, never missing a single inch or corner. “Lately we were struggling to keep afloat upon staying relevant with the coming age of heroes and villains. At one point, the Hassaikai was almost nothing. Given some time and effort, I’ve just barely managed to drag us from the shadows with other groups following our path as well. It doesn’t even feel like we’re gangsters anymore. The only thing we do now are shakedowns and such. Sometimes it comes with the occasional turf war here and there. A few groups still push product here and there...yknow...drugs. But us? We’re damn near a charity organization now. I do a shit ton of paperwork and taxes. We donate to parts of the city and make sure the streets we own stay clear of any unfamiliar threats. I can’t say I enjoy the philanthropic changes but anything is better than letting the organization sink. Besides, Pops is pleased to know we’ve changed direction nowadays too.”

“You know, I’m glad too. Now please go to work.” He just barely dodged the playful jab at his sides. He smiled, bid his goodbyes, and headed down to the lower part of the base as usual. Upon entry he was already greeted by Chrono with a suitcase of what he assumed had to be either money or more paperwork. “Overhaul, you’re a bit late for once huh? It’s usually me haha.” Chrono joked and Kai sighed. “You’re rather bold to comment on my time frame when you came in an hour late last Friday under the excuse that you were stuck in traffic.” He spoke and walked, grabbing the suitcase and mentally taking note of it’s weight.

Money this time. How delightful. Perhaps he could buy you a nice gift to thank you for always spending time with him?

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I wasn’t lying about that traffic dude. It was absolute ass the entire drive. Well anyway, there’s some guy waiting on your line. He’s been waiting for you for almost 30 minutes. He said it was something important about a business proposition or whatever? Anyway, he must be telling the truth for him to actually stay on the line that long.”

“And why didn’t you link him my cellphone line then, if it was so important?”

“Pshhh, and risk having you on my ass for giving out your personal number? No way in hell. Anyway, let me know later what it is. I’m going to be heading out with Hojo, Tabe, and Setsuno today to make peace with that group on the west end of the city that keeps threating our men. Catch you later.” And just like that, Hari was gone and on his way out of the hall. Kai took a second to gather himself and placed the suitcase down next to his desk before answering the phone. “Hello, is this Chisaki Kai?” 

“This is he. Who are you and what can I help you with.” He mentally groaned at the incoming conversation. One could only hope it’s not another bum looking to get in on their terf, or some sort of tax collector from the IRS. “Glad I can finally make your acquaintance Mr. Chisaki. This is Tado of the Matsufuda branch. I was actually hoping to come and meet you in person but one of your main men told me now wouldn’t be a good time seeing as the old boss is out on business and you’re all alone.” The man chuckled and Kai squinted his eyes in speculation. “What is that supposed to mean then? Did you figure I couldn’t balance things without Pops being here? Need I remind you who you’re talking to?” He started to heat up until the man on the other line laughed. “Now now, no need to get testy so soon boy! The suitcase, do you have it?” Kai paused and looked down at the case in curiosity. “Yes. Was it you that sent this?” He asked, eyeing the case intently. “Correct. Inside that case you will not only find a gift from us, but you will also find it to be a wonderful new business venture as well. I have the utmost confidence it will double the Hassaikai’s monetary wealth in no time while also producing quite a bit of street credit.” The man rambled on while Kai was cautiously opening the case. 

Not money on the inside but...pills???

“What the hell is this supposed to be, a joke?”

“No joke Mr. Chisaki! It’s the future is what it is! My organization has developed a new drug and we predict it will be the craze among the youth around here. After creating it, we sent it on a trial test run throughout the nearby city. Our plan was to sell for more than it had cost us to make the drug. The money we got was outstanding in return. Just from the test trial alone, we gained almost triple back in funds. More money than we’d ever make following this new peaceful ‘grey area’ path your group has set in stone. What I’ve included in the case is more than enough of the new drug for your group to distribute on your end of the city. Charge more than retail, get us our percent of the money and you guys keep the rest. It’s genius! What do you say?”

“...I’m sorry...I don’t deal drugs anymore. You’ll have to ask a different person for this.” Just before he was about to hang up the phone, the man stopped him. “WAIT! Just hear me out. How about this eh? What about you keep the suitcase full and keep ALL of the profit you make from it then? It will be like a free sample of course. Once you see how much it benefits you, then you can contact me for a new run. How is that?” A long pause with no answer. Was he really sitting here and thinking about this right now? He had only been clean from selling drugs and such for a month or two. In that time, it was you that made him want to stop all of this. Since the moment he met you, he slowly began to change his path...his very steps. Yet...here temptation was knocking on his door. He paused to do the math and there was no question that the money that would come in would be more than they could make in a month on their own. It would be a nice little bonus in the pockets of his men as well. “Just get back to me when you run out. Tell me what you think then.” The line hung up and went idle. Kai mindlessly hung up the phone but his eyes never left the case. He stared at the tiny pink pills for what seemed like ages before finally snapping out of it.

“Just a weeks worth of pushing it. We’ll see where it goes from there.”

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TIp Jar: https://cash.app/$YuTakeyama