#oh yeah I have a Switch now!! 5 years after its release and probably the same year a new console will drop but shhh

[mothric]

hello once again tumblr I can't honestly say I missed you

[hansolmates]

(secret) lovers | m

summary; the (not) best friends 2 lovers spin-off where jungkook and you are trying to hide your relationship from his old best friend  pairing; jungkook x reader (f) genre/warnings; established relationship, jiyu is now an old friend and mc went to high school w them, weeb!koo, jk n mc be kinda stanky bc they’re only going to this party for the free booze, soft dom!mc, switch!koo, whiny koo, mc calls jk a slut, cockwarming, gets really soft n’loving at the end, heavy use of the pet name [redacted] i really think this couple is meant to be diabolically dumb together w/c; 2.7k a/n; this couple is really out here living rent free in my mind. jk, mc and jiyu really just are that thruple that i love to hate and hate to love. hope u enjoy this lil spin off! 

[series masterlist]

“You made it!” 

Jiyu flings her hands out, knocking both your heads with hers in the middle in a surprisingly strong hug. It’s a complete episode of déjà vu, from the way her body smells like the peach lotion she used after gym class to the shade of coral lipgloss. From the corner of your eye, you can see the caramel brunette’s tiny face is inching closer towards your ride, her head tucking in the crook of his neck. 

“Jiyu,” you beam. You’re the first to speak, the first to dip their toe in the water. “You look great!” 

“Thank you!” she pulls away, popping her hip against the doorway. The silky material of her coverup gleams in the sunlight, the silvery material showing off the silhouette of her bikini-clad body. Despite the fact that you’re the one who compliments Jiyu, her gaze floats over to the person next to you, “what a coincidence you two came at the same time and—oh my, and where are my manners! Come in, come in!” 

She moves away from the door, revealing an ornate lobby and two twin stairwells. You can’t help but light up at the beautiful crystal chandelier, flecks of pink and blue flickering in your eyes.  Further down the hallway you spot open glass doors that lead to a large backyard that overlooks the lake. Some people are already sitting by the dock, lounging about with drinks and happy smiles on their faces. 

“Actually,” Oh, he speaks. You think with a small smile on your face, side eyeing the man of the minute, “I forgot the rest of my luggage. We’ll meet you inside.” 

“Okay!” Jiyu smiles, “I’ll make you guys some drinks.” 

As soon as the door shuts, Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend for three years blurts out, “She still has a crush on me.” 

You snort, taking off the duffle bag that’s hiding behind your back. Continuing to stand awkwardly at the front door, you prepare yourself to console your boyfriend’s worries. “She still has heart-eyes for you, Koo,” you tease, pinching his side. 

His eyes are big and swimming with guilt, “We should tell her.” 

“Oh, baby. We can’t break her heart this weekend.” 

“But love, it’s her birthday.” 

“Exactly,” you chirp, bumping your head against his arm, “can’t break her heart on her birthday.” 

Jiyu is an old high school friend. Class president, straight As, and even vied for prom queen. The only thing she wasn’t able to obtain throughout her high school years was Jeon Jungkook, the object of her affections. They were best friends in elementary school, eventually turning into distant friends as their interests changed and they got older. Yet, Jiyu still tried to insert herself into Jungkook’s life. Back in high school it was surely cute, the way she’d pine from the back of the room and place anonymous love letters in his locker, but Jungkook wasn’t interested and avoided any of her advances. Fast forward ten years later and it seems like old flames never die out. 

The meetups with Jiyu have been scarce since college and only in large groups. As former class president, she decided to hold a little reunion for her old friends, taking advantage of her stellar job benefits. A weekend in the woods, perfectly balmy and far away from the city. 

“I don’t wanna lie,” Jungkook nearly whines, pink lips warbling at your inability to budge. 

“Mm,” you hum, tracing the fingers across the seam of his back pocket. His boardshorts hide nothing, and you curl your fingers around the swell of his plump bum, “be good for me and tell a little white lie, will you?” 

Jeon Jungkook, former President of the Anime Club, prom king candidate and your favorite nerd in the entire world. 

A teeny tiny lie won’t hurt anyone. After all, you haven’t seen your high school buddies in literal years, and they wouldn’t dare bother to make a fuss about your relationship. In fact, they don’t know of your relationship with Jungkook. The two of you reconnected randomly, some spontaneous holiday party Kim Seokjin is always inclined to throw. You barely made eye contact the first two hours into it, not really wanting to go back to the hellhole that was your late teenage years. Nevertheless, by the end of the night the two of you couldn’t help yourself. 

As you look around the room with utmost confidence, the two of you have made the finest glow up by far. At first you wanted to keep the white lie to save face, you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to how you and the President of the Anime Club hooked up. However, you’re starting to enjoy the ruse. 

Jungkook’s sitting on the other side of the backyard, looking absolutely delicious as he sips on whatever fruity cocktail he created. Judging from yours, you have a feeling his drink probably consists of 95% orange juice and 5% alcohol. 

Jiyu and him are sitting in the large netted hammock, swinging lightly. Gravity is doing its thing, and Jiyu is practically laying on top of Jungkook’s lap, her body pooling to where his meets in the middle. As soon as his thigh touches hers, his eyes flicker to you in panic. He’s shirtless, only with a pair of mid-cut shorts to protect him. The skin that touches him probably burns. 

You wink and wave him away, assuring him it’s fine. Pretending to flip your hair, you turn back to the conversation you’ve been ignoring for the past five minutes. “Man, Jungkook’s so sexy,” Im Nayeon cooes, looking longingly at Jungkook’s form. 

“Jiyu’s so lucky,” Rina eggs on, taking another shot from the tray (a tray for herself, you might add.) 

“Do you think Jiyu’s gonna get some birthday sex tonight?” 

Nayeon snorts, covering her flared nostrils with her hand. That hand eventually loops around your thigh, eagerly pushing you two together by pressing on the meat of your bare skin. “If she’s lucky! Besides, we all know Jungkook had that big crush on you junior year!” 

Her pretty bunny teeth tease you, and you can’t help but smile back in return. “What do you mean, he really liked me?” you ask innocently. 

“Oh yeah! Drew so many little pictures of you in the margins. Little anime versions of you in his favorite outfits.” Of course, you know about Jungkook’s old crush on you. He’s mentioned it in passing, paired with an adorable blush on his cheeks. Hearing it from Nayeon, the shameless grin on her lips and the ease of champagne on her breath is much more entertaining. “Rina, do you remember when Jungkook set up her desk with rose petals and chocolate in a little heart? And then in the morning the janitor sweeped it up? He was so sad!” 

“Yes! I really felt for him,” Rina pouted. 

“Oh, poor baby,” you didn’t know that bit of information. You put a hand over your heart, watching as Jungkook shares a drink with his old friend Kim Mingyu. He looks so different, yet all the same since you’ve been acquaintances in high school. He carries his own weight now, an air of confidence that he’s finally reached over time.  

“Definitely not a baby anymore,” Rina scoffs. She clicks her tongue back to where Jungkook is seated. 

The sun is doing wonders for him, highlighting every crevice of where his biceps curl and twist as he lifts his hand in another drink. Their side of the lawn is doing a toast. For what, you don’t know. You do know however, that Jiyu is trying very hard to cheer right over Jungkook’s thighs, spilling some liquid over his knees. You smirk when Jiyu sends him an apologetic grin, dabbing a napkin up and across his thighs, far away from the wet spot. 

Jungkook, the poor guy, discreetly shoves her off. He brushes his hands and gets up, letting Jiyu fall back in the hammock all by herself. Avoiding the teasing gazes of his friends, he looks into the lake, hiding his blush. 

Still a baby, you think. Your baby. 

“Jiyu was practically sitting in your lap, baby boy,” you card your hand through his dark locks, fresh and shiny from the shower. The feeling is soothing to Jungkook’s scalp until you tug, arching his neck towards your lips and twisting, “did you like that,” you mumble into his Adam’s apple, “my little slut?” 

“N-no! Never, ohgodnever—” Jungkook is sweating, fat beads rolling down his hairline and glistening across his face. His fingers are practically phasing through your skin, the crescents of his fingernails sinking into the swell of your bottom. 

You clench around his dick, your soft folds urging Jungkook closer to his release. But he knows better not to move, and instead shudders from the ministrations, breaking apart from you to dip his head into your chest. His nose pokes at the bouncy flesh, nuzzling into your breast like the softest pillow. 

“Sh-shit, love,” he cries into your skin, “you feel so warm n’soft.” 

“You need to be quiet, baby,” you murmur, playing with the curls that hang around the nape of his neck, “unless—you want someone to hear? My little slut wants everyone to hear that I’m fucking you?” 

“Mm, no,” you grin at his honest reaction, and you can feel his neck heating up at the thought. Your fingers make their way, finally ending towards the apples of his cheeks. You squish lightly, loving the way his tanned skin puffs under your fingers. “I’m—ah—not a slut. I just really love you, only you. Really wanted to hold you in my lap today and show you off,” he whimpers at the unconscious clench of your folds, “just uh—slut for you, love.” 

You giggle, tightening your thighs around your boyfriend’s tiny waist. Your other hands trail down to the ridges of his abdomen, where you two are connected. You absolutely love the way your thighs wrap around his lean waist. 

Jiyu split the floors by girls and boys, as if you’re still in high school. It took forever for everyone to fall asleep, but you managed to sneak away with your bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor. Call yourself needy, but you couldn’t imagine yourself falling asleep with at least one good night kiss. Jungkook was ten steps ahead of you. Your boyfriend was already naked when you arrived, pumping his cock across the bed and getting himself ready for you. His eyes instantly zeroed in on you in his shirt, the black material hanging off your shoulder and begging to be pulled away by his teeth. 

“If I crawled in your lap today,” you murmur into his shoulder, “our whole secret would’ve been thrown out the window.” 

“I wouldn’t have minded, even if Jiyu got hurt,” Jungkook admits, running his hands up and down your back, “I wanna marry you, y’know.” 

You freeze in your ministrations, suddenly feeling the room go cold. Not in an unpleasant way, but the room freezes, the blue-white light of the moon igniting the seriousness in Jungkook’s gaze. You force yourself to stay on his lap, let his cock settle between your folds. The juices of your coupling are dripping down each other’s legs, cooling at your thighs and onto the white blankets. 

“You wanna marry me?” you echo, running your thumbs across his shiny lips. 

Of course, you’re at that age. Everyone around you is getting married, heck many people your age are already in the middle of creating a family, going on vacations to Disney and picnics in the playground. And yes, you also have thought about marrying Jungkook, he’s the only man you can picture marrying. Yet, hearing it out loud and from him only further fuels your desire to make these thoughts a reality. 

He kisses your thumbs, lips smushing against the pads. “Of course I do, love. You’re it for me.” 

You relinquish, slowly pulling yourself off of him. He’s still hard as you untack yourself, his member slapping against his belly button as he watches you in confusion. You make a show of fluffing up the pillows, arching your back and wiggling your ass as you make yourself comfortable to lay on your back. 

“Show me, baby,” you spread your legs for him, gesturing for him to come closer with a curl of your finger, “show me how much you want to marry me.” 

Jungkook smirks, hands immediately pumping with a squelching sound resulting from yours and his combined arousal. You love it when Jungkook takes the lead, just as much as you do. It makes you feel like a pillow princess, especially when you feel lovey sex is on the way. “Will you be quiet? Just like you tried to make me quiet?” he rasps, wrapping a hand around your waist to arch you up. 

“Depends on how good you are.” 

The head of his dick rubs against your clit, slapping lightly at the shiny skin. You both moan when he finally gives you what you both need. As soon as the tip of his dick sinks down, you feel like you’ve both hit home. It doesn’t take long for him to find his pace, naturally throwing your leg over his shoulder for added leverage. 

“Oh—fuck, baby,” you tug at his hair, pulling him in for a wet kiss. You don’t care that you’re slobbering all over him, the bed creaking and squeaking against his minstraitions. “I—uh, you feel so deep—yes!” 

“When we’re married I’ll fuck you every day like this, love,” he whispers between your lips, thrusting in a particularly sensitive spot that has you arching your back and pulling your chest to his, “I—ugh, I love you so much.” 

“Love you. Love youlovelove—ah! Kook, I’m—” 

The two of you don’t spare any time, the sun will eventually rise and you’ll be back to playing strangers. Jungkook pounds you into the mattress, nails you with enough cum for you to last the next day without having to sneak into each other’s room like horny teenagers. The roughness is smoothed out by love and bliss, eager at the thought of going home and anticipating a permanent life together. 

Five minutes later, you’re starting to feel a little too sticky. “Ohmygod—I need to fucking pee,” you pull yourself away from Jungkook’s sweaty body, palming around for your t-shirt.

“Just pee on the bed,” Jungkook grins. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” you make a face, “nasty.” 

“You like that I’m nasty.” 

“Yeah yeah.” 

With one last kiss, you skip away from his bedroom and close the door behind you. Unfortunately, as soon as you take five steps in the direction of the bathroom, somebody emerges from the shadows. 

“Holy shit, Jiyu,” you put a hand on your heart, eyes widening at her peeking in from the hallway. “You scared me.” 

“I’m so sorry,” she frowns, squinting her eyes to make you out in the dark. It’s easier to see her in her white slip, a thin chiffon material that barely covers her thighs. 

You don’t question why she’s out in the hallway in really pretty lingerie, or why she’s on the boy’s side of the house. So much for being discreet. Then again, there must be an ulterior motive for her if she’s already here, five feet away from Jungkook’s room. You wouldn’t have been caught if she hadn’t been so sneaky. (Well, not so sneaky. You got to him first.) You smell like sweat, arousal, and Jungkook. The shirt you’re wearing feels far too short and the cum in your panties feels tacky and gooey. You feel like a teenager being caught smoking. 

“Why?” Jiyu’s voice suddenly sounds as dark as the early morning, no sign of the sun. 

“Why what?” you answer, furrowing your brows at the sudden change in demeanor. 

“Why?” she hisses, eyes wide with pain and confusion, “why Jungkook?” 

You frown, not liking her attitude. Did she think it was a contest to who would fuck Jungkook first? Did she think she was being slick, sneaking away into a bedroom she has no business being in, even if he was single? You could laugh. So despite your height you steel yourself, looking at Jiyu straight in the eye. 

“Because Jungkook’s mine, and I’m marrying him.” 

As you pad down the hallway as fast as you can, you send Jungkook a quick text. 

[5:44AM] love: pack it up. Plan b go fake a fever we gotta go lol

[furikakyo]

a return to roots | 5

pairing: kita shinsuke x f!reader

summary: y/n is a rising star in the music industry, having almost everything you could have ever hoped for as a small-town country girl. now after releasing two triple platinum albums in consecutive years, you face the dreaded artist’s burnout… in order to recover, your manager suggests, you should return to your hometown in hyōgo for a long-deserved break.

genre: socmed/smau, slice of life

warnings/tags: timeskip!, mutual pining, slow burn? more like rekindling, slight canon divergence

masterpost

Ichiro arrived right on time at 5:45 in the morning, buzzing your door just as you had gotten dressed after a quick shower. Steam wafted out of the bathroom as you rushed to the door to greet him and show him where the luggage was. Without anything to say, he promptly picked up one of the large hard case suitcases and you followed suit, going after him into the elevator. When your bodyguard loaded both of your cases into the trunk of his car and then opened the door for you to get into the car, you quickly said, "I need to double check everything in there is fine. I'll be back in a minute."

After reassuring Ichiro that you would be ok by yourself, you dashed back inside to survey your apartment, checking each room to make sure you hadn't left anything important behind. The kitchen and living room were clean, check. When you got to your bedroom, you paused, seeing one of your acoustic guitars sitting in the corner. Should you bring it? Were you actually going to write music? When you had announced your hiatus officially, you had stated that it was to gain inspiration for new music... but then that wouldn't really be a break, would it? You gnawed on your lip, remembering what Kuroo had asked of you the night before: "Take care of yourself in Hyōgo, alright? You're there for a reason; to take a break."��

You scowled, cursing Kuroo and his knowledge of your work habits. But, a voice inside you reasoned, it wouldn't be work if you were writing just for fun... You thought back to those moments in your childhood home, in your room, writing songs and uploading them to YouTube and SoundCloud without thinking that anything would come of it; back before you felt any pressure to perform. Back to when you wrote lyrics that weren’t very sophisticated, but earnest and heartfelt all the same… back to when you had your muse to sit beside you every step of the songwriting process.

Before you could convince yourself otherwise, you ran to the corner of your room and snatched the guitar, put it in its case, and then snapped it shut with finality.

If Ichiro was confused about you carrying down another piece of luggage, he said nothing, only staring ahead and driving when you were buckled. "Onigiri Miya," you reminded him, then settled into your seat. The ride there wasn't too far from your apartment; you had rented out the space because of its convenience, so anywhere you usually wanted to go to was within a reasonable distance. You watched the traffic with disinterest and spotted restaurants with dim lighting inside, most likely already prepping for the day ahead of them. The world kept moving on ahead, regardless of whether or not you liked it.

When you arrived at Onigiri Miya, Osamu was already out back in the van, probably waiting impatiently. You checked the clock in the car and clicked your tongue. You weren’t even late.

When you stepped out of the car, Osamu opened his door and got out too. You smiled widely. “Samu!” You rushed forward and gave him a strong hug, which he somewhat reciprocated. He wasn’t as big on physical touch as his brother.

Osamu only rolled his eyes though, patting your back as you told him he looked great. “You do, too. Want me to help with your bags?”

You led him to the trunk of your ride, where Ichiro was already opening it and carrying one of your suitcases. Osamu hefted the other one up, and you trailed behind with the guitar case. After securing everything in the back of the van, you turned to your bodyguard.

You smiled, a genuine smile, and then repeated what you’d already told him over text. “Well, Ichiro-san, I don’t know the next time I’ll see you. I’ll make sure to text you in advance if I plan on going to more public areas.” He said nothing, so you continued. “Thank you very much for all you’ve done for me, and I look forward to seeing you again in the future!” You gave him a bow, which he reciprocated stiffly before quickly getting back into his own car and driving off.

You sighed, then looked to Osamu. He quirked an eyebrow. “Ready?” You nodded determinedly, getting into the passenger seat of the van and buckling, him doing the same.

“Alrighty, then,” he cracked a grin. “Time for a road trip.”

After a while of scrolling through your social media accounts you sat back and stretched. Then you flopped back into your seat and looked over to Osamu. “Samu,” you whined in the most obnoxious voice possible, “do you have any food? I’m so hungry.”

Osamu rolled his eyes, jerking a thumb towards the back of the van. “Ya really think I wouldn’t bring food for the trip?”

Immediately, you turned around and began looking behind your seat for food. Sure enough, there was an insulated bag with onigiri. You gasped, bringing the bag into your lap with stars in your eyes. “You brought some?”

You ignored whatever his response was, instead unwrapping one and biting into it. “Mmm,” you moaned, chewing slowly. The nori was still crisp and the rice was fluffy yet still sticky. You closed your eyes to focus on the food. He must have made them right before you got there for them to be this fresh.

“I’m guessing you didn’t eat breakfast, then,” Osamu said, eyes staring ahead at the road.

Your grip on the rice ball tightened before you quickly realized what you were doing. Your apartment didn’t really have much left to eat after you’d finished up the gyoza last night, and even if you’d had food, you weren’t sure if you would’ve been able to keep it down. Butterflies had filled your stomach as you had tried to go to sleep, and they hadn’t really disappeared yet. “No,” you shook your head. “I woke up early in the morning and was tired.”

Osamu hummed and then didn’t say anything else. After another long beat of silence you squirmed in your seat, a little on edge. “Mind if I play some music?” He shook his head at your question and so you took over the AUX, playing some songs that had been stuck in the back of your mind lately. After the music started, any awkwardness immediately dissipated as you sang along and Osamu tapped his thumb on the wheel to the beat of whatever was playing. At one point you had even pointed out his cute habit to which he had denied before doing the same thing twenty minutes later. Giggling, you just looked out the window and didn’t comment on it that time.

After about an hour of songs, Osamu finally spoke again. “You can go back to sleep, if you want. Ya look tired.”

You looked over at him and then nodded, curling into yourself, rubbing your wearied eyes. Sleeping would be a good opportunity since you hadn’t gotten much last night. You leaned against the seatbelt and window and closed your eyes, ignoring the bumps in the road which made your head hit the glass each time. Before you knew it, you were asleep. 

After a little less than five hours, you woke up to Osamu driving, now playing the radio instead. You looked outside. Gone were the skyscrapers and bright lights; in their place were rows and rows of empty fields, all blurring past you. "Are we in Hyōgo yet?" you asked, turning back to him.

Osamu gave you a quick glance and then switched his gaze back on the road. It was just the Onigiri Miya van on the stretch, the rest of what you could see of the roadway completely devoid of another vehicle. "Yeah," he replied. "We have about an hour left. I was gonna stop at the next place to stretch, though." He looked over at you again. "Is that alright with you?"

You nodded and then dug out another rice ball from the thermal bag, munching on it as you stared out the windshield. The nori wasn’t crispy anymore but at least the filling was still yummy.  "So we're going to stop somewhere first. What's the plan after that?"

Osamu adjusted his grip on the wheel, driving with only one arm. "I was thinking that we could stop by your house, unload your luggage, maybe clean up your space since no one's been there for a while, and then go to do my business in Hyōgo." He paused, then added, "With Kita."

Your heart raced. It was your first day back and you were already going to have to face Kita. You could just stay home, a voice nagged at you. No, you thought, your face filled with grim determination. You could do it.

Almost as if sensing your internal strife, Osamu said, "Y'know, Y/N, I think Captain is just as nervous, if not, more." He continued staring ahead, not looking at you. Now he started tapping his thumb against the wheel again.

But you, your head snapped to look at him. "Really?" you asked, eyeing him skeptically.

Osmau nodded, smiling. "He's barely said a peep in the group chat he's in with me. Although now that I think about it, that's usually how he is." He chuckled. "Unless he's getting in between me and Tsumu."

You sighed, sitting back. Why had you expected Kita to hold anger towards you? Because you chose a career over him? Because you chose success over two of you, the voice in the back of your mind whispered. You ignored it, crossing your arms. You felt bad for thinking he would be anything less than how he always was in your mind (he was always Mr. Perfect), but it also made you feel better knowing he was scared too. No, not scared. Nervous, Osamu had said. Oh, god, how were the two of you going to act when you saw each other?

"Hey, Y/N." You turned to Osamu just as he pulled into the driveway of probably the only gas station within a 50 mile radius. He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You'll figure it out."

As you followed him out of the van to stretch out your legs, you could only hope that you would figure it out. Preferably before you had to see Kita.

You had, in fact, not figured it all out by the time you and Osamu reached your childhood home. Instead of thinking about your lack of a solution, you resorted to reaching under the dingy welcome mat and pulled out a plastic bag with a key inside. “Still here,” you said cheerfully, showing the dirty bag off to your friend.

Osamu rolled his eyes and waited as you fumbled with the key to the house and then eventually opened the door.

You peered into the dark corridor and slipped off your shoes before stepping onto the hardwood floor. “I called the electricity and water guy,” you muttered, dragging one of the suitcases behind you. You paused and then grabbed the handle, which extended, then let the suitcase’s wheels do the work for you. “Everything should be functional by the end of the day.” When you got to the end of the foyer, you gasped. “What…?”

The inside of the house was, contrary to your belief, not at all covered in a thick layer of dust like you’d expected. Instead, it looked almost exactly the same as when you had moved out from there.

Osamu trailed behind you, taking his cap off and scratching the back of his head. “To be honest, I forgot that this was happening. Everyone here didn’t want to see your house collect dust and fall apart, so they..." He motioned around him, your eyes following.

The tatami mats in the living room and your parents' bedroom were clearly cared for, otherwise there would’ve been the overwhelming scent of dust or mold. You could imagine the diligence it would’ve taken to clean them so regularly. And the furniture— you ran a finger along the top of the kotatsu and then looked at it; nothing. You’d have to move the kotatsu into storage since it wouldn’t make much sense to have it out right now; you only used it in the winter...

You drank in the rest of the house, mentally planning where to place things and what to rearrange to your own liking. "I'll get the other case you brought," Osamu muttered, sidestepping around you to reach the doorway. You barely noticed him leave as you crept to your own childhood bedroom, sliding open the shōji screen door.

…Huh. It didn't look any different from what you last remembered. You walked inside. You had your western-styled bed, which still had the furniture sliders under the legs to protect the tatami mats; the bookshelves along the wall with your favorite books and shōjo manga... You paused at the string of fairy lights strung above your dresser. Clipped onto them were photos from high school: you and Osamu proudly holding a double-tiered cake you'd made in home economics, you and a few of the other Inarizaki boys fooling around after practice, you with your parents in front of the school in your third year. You laughed to yourself while looking at them, recalling the moments in which the pictures were taken; back when Samu's hair was grey and Tsumu didn't know what toner was, back when your only responsibilities were as Y/N the assistant manager and co-class representative of 3-A.

You stared at the end of the string lights, where there was a picture missing. You knew what was supposed to be there, in that gap. You were unsure of where it had gone though, so you searched your entire bedroom, taking out all of the books in your shelves and turning them upside down, removing all of the drawers in your dresser and peeking inside the base. You scoured your belongings for a sign of where that photo could have been, but to no avail. 

"You looking for something?" Osamu pushed off of the doorway he'd been leaning on and peered over your shoulder. "I can try to help ya find it."

You shook your head, smiling. "No, it's okay. I lost something but it's not that important." You stood up and dusted yourself off, brushing your hands together. "We have some free time now that I don't have to clean up around here. What should we do?"

Osamu nodded, thinking to himself. "Well, we could go reacquaint you with your neighbors… or we could get to the farm early. It’s,” he checked his phone, “around 3 right now so we would have a couple hours to check out the entire farm. It’s big, so having too much time on our hands wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Uh…” You bit your lip and stared expectantly at Osamu. You make the decision.

He lifted an eyebrow incredulously, then said, “Alright, farm it is.”

You dropped your phone into your lap in disappointment, tempted to just throw it out of the window of Osamu’s van. Kuroo really is kind of useless, huh, you thought, staring out of the window glumly.

The sound of the tires hitting gravel road caught your attention and you looked out the front windshield. You sucked in a breath. You were here. At Kita’s farm. Or rather, you thought, Kita’s house. You had parked in the driveway of his home which overlooked all the fields. They were still somewhat of a muddy brownish color from how far away you were.

“Ready?” Osamu tried to look grim, knowing of your inner turmoil, but his glittering eyes said otherwise.

You exhaled and then nodded. “Yes.”

The two of you didn’t end up getting very far along the fields before Osamu ran into someone he knew, probably someone else working on the rice fields under Kita based on the way he was dressed. He wore a wide-brimmed straw hat and, somehow, long sleeved shirts and pants. Osamu smiled, greeting the man, “Koji.”

His recipient smiled too. “Osamu. How’s business in Tokyo? Still thinking of opening another shop in Osaka?” Koji motioned for him to follow him down the path in between the rice paddies, and he did, already lost in a conversation. You watched as another group of workers came towards the duo, and you heard laughing and cheering as Osamu talked to them.

Well, damn. Osamu had left you behind. You looked around and then checked your phone. You still had basically two hours to kill. “Ugh…” Should you just wait in the van for Osamu? What if Kita saw the van pulled up and approached it, though? You did NOT want to be alone with him, just the two of you. Plus it would be hot waiting in there. You pulled at the front of your t-shirt. At least there was a slight breeze every once in a while when you were outside.

Am I really going to do this? You looked up at the sky and shielded your eyes from the sun. It was already beating down on your shoulders and back. Sighing, you started in the opposite direction of where Osamu and the workers had gone. There seemed to be a lot of property, you thought, admiring the view. Although the rice paddies were still muddy, the view you had from this side of the farmhouse was stunning. In the distance were lines of trees so dense, and mountains even further away, just a faint silhouette smoothed against the sky. You imagined what it would look like when the rice was ready to be harvested, all green and heavy with the fruits of labor. 

A few days ago you’d thought absentmindedly that life had been kind to you, Kuroo, and Kenma. But now, looking around the serene landscape and close-knit community of workers, filled with a fresh green newness brought from only the spring, you wondered: maybe the years had been kind of Kita, too. 

Behind you, you heard dull rustling, and you turned automatically. You froze, stunned. Your mouth moved and formed words before you could even comprehend what it was you were saying.

“Kita?”

a/n: ohhh my goodness i had the worst experience with a karen yesterday and i never thought i would have to deal with one for some reason…. fuck you amy and i hope i never have to see your bitchass face again 

taglist (pm me to ask to be added): @papiibuprofen​, @duhsies, @succulentmom, @kenmaslov3r​​​, @introvertatitsfinest

some ~fun facts~ 

- ichiro the bodyguard/driver may or may not have shed a tear or two after y/n left. (i told you he was a big softie)

- he wanted to give you a hug goodbye but wasn’t sure if that would be overstepping 😔

- imagine samu loading the van with your luggage and pushing off the doorframe after previously leaning on it with his muscly arms and glorious tiddies… BEEFY SAMU SUPREMACY 🧎‍♂️

- one of osamu’s guilty pleasures is pop music 😭

- one of y/n’s fav things to do on social media is just go through atsumu’s public profiles and read the thirst comments 😭😭

[43sparrows]

w a n t e d - {Five x Reader} AU!

IMPORTANT: First, and most importantly, Five is not a teenager in this. Nor is he a 58 year old man. He never jumped, and he's the same age as the rest of his siblings. In this story that's early 20s. I so get why a lot of people are weirded out by Five stories, but his character is just too interesting to not explore the dynamics of him in a relationship. I think of it the same way I write for Harry Potter or Peter Parker.  

WARNINGS: Pining, angst, some mediocre smut

Word Count: 1508

Note: This will probably be a "series" of one shots. I can kind of see 3-5 coming from this idea.

Inspiration: “Love will subsist on wonderfully little hope but not altogether without it.” - Sir Walter Scott

- - [ 5 ] - -

The thing about Five is that he says what he has to. 

He never lies and he never sugarcoats, but he tells careful truths that open doors and shut blinds as he sees fit. He knows how to command language with the precision of a surgeon, or perhaps, more accurately, a sniper.

It's his actions that paint a clearer picture of his inner workings. Because Five never does anything that he doesn't want to do at some level. He's too brilliant for that--knows too many different ways to achieve the same end goal.

So you don't have a single question about whether or not he wants you. You know he does. He's shoved you up against a wall more times than you can count, pressing into you so you can feel his want on every inch of him. It's exhilarating, and for months it's been enough. But now, in the back of your mind, is the small pinprick of hope—just enough to be sharp and annoying— that maybe he could possibly want to be with you. 

This is ridiculous of course. 

If he wanted, you’d already be together. Sharing secret smiles instead of bedroom eyes.  Whispering about your future plans rather than instructions to fuck me harder or touch yourself. 

But he doesn't want you like that. He wants you desperately trying to keep quiet underneath him, sweat beading off his forehead as he chases a release from life in the Umbrella Academy. 

You let out a needy gasp as he lifts your leg and puts it over his shoulder. “Fuck,” he whispers, a hand coming up to brace himself against the headboard. 

A small spark of excitement bursts like a firework inside of your chest. Sounds hardly come out of Five when you are tangled in the sheets. Any words spoken are questions or commands. There's no praise. There's definitely no sweet nothings. There's hardly even dirty talk during the act. That comes before and it's only a means to an end. Kind of like his kisses.

When you first realized this, it became your mission to make him moan. To make him struggle to keep quiet for the sake of your roommate or, on the rare occasions you're at his place, his sister. But other than when your lips are wrapped around him, tongue caressing its way up his shaft, it seems like a near impossible task.

He, on the other hand, plays you like a fiddle. He knows exactly how to make you moan, whine, gasp, mewl, and make any other sound he wants to hear. This new angle has earned him more than one moan, muffled only by you biting your knuckle.

"You close?" he grunts, eyes fixated on the finger in your mouth.

You nod and he increases his pace slightly. You're constantly overwhelmed at how he seems to be able to push himself to be just a bit faster, just a bit harder, just a bit deeper. You still haven't found this boy's limits.

The tension that's been coiling in your stomach is winding its way up your spine, and you feel ready to snap at any moment. Five knocks your hand out of the way with his free one, sticking two fingers in your mouth. The action has you mounting even higher, but the look in his eyes when you start to suck on his fingers is what sends you over the edge. Your back arches as all breath leaves you, your high rushing through you and escaping around Five's fingers in a high pitched squeak. Five's pace stutters and finally he stills. 

He withdraws himself as soon as he's finished.

There's no aftercare. Sure there are the practical matters he takes care of. He diposes of the condom, gets you a washcloth, helps to locate the clothes you'd thrown elsewhere. But after that, he's gone. Popped out of existence. Like nothing happened.

This had been a welcome relief when you first met. When your friends had dragged you to a bar to forget about your ex. It wasn't that there was anything particular to forget. He had been a nice guy, the kind you bring home to your parents, the kind who was focused on forever. You simply hadn't been his. Maybe they wanted you to forget that. Maybe they wanted to ease the blunt force trauma of rejection. Maybe they wanted the night to pan out the way it had. 

You can still remember how it felt the first time he looked at you--how you could feel the weight of his stare before you even saw him. It didn't take long to find him--and when you did, meeting his eyes...it was the kind of gaze that crushed all of the air out of your lungs and set your skin on fire. Exactly what you needed that night. 

You'd given him a small smile and turned back to your friends' conversation. The next thing you knew he was next to you. 

"What are you drinking?" 

You swivelled in your seat to find the man across the bar standing next to you, gesturing with his chin for the bartender to come over. "Gin." 

He quirked an eyebrow as he eyed your almost empty glass. "That's not straight gin." 

You shook your head, raising the drink to your lips. "This is a gimlet," you said, finishing it off and placing the glass down in front of you. "That was a gin and tonic," you pointed at another glass that had yet to be collected. "I like to switch things up," you grinned at him. Behind you, your roommate giggled. The man, for his part, raised both of his eyebrows and ordered you a Tom Collins. He always knew just what to say.

The night fell away from you after that. It had to be the quick succession of drinks coupled with his intoxicating presence. Your friends had been quick to abandon you, leaving you and Five sitting at the bar together chatting about subjects lost to time and alcohol. You couldn't have been focused that much on the conversation because all you could remember was his warm, slightly calloused hand, sliding its way up from your knee and the hungry look in his eyes.

The pair of you didn't last much longer in the bar. It couldn't have been more than an hour or so before you were back at your apartment, tongues and teeth clashing together as the two of you ran into the walls, the island, your dresser, the edge of your bed. And then the clothes were off and your fingernails were raking down his back, and you felt more alive than you had all month. 

When you woke up with a monstrous hangover and delicious ache between your legs, you were alone. It had been a welcome surprise at the time. After all, you were surfacing after a wasted two years and extricating yourself from a one-night rebound was the last thing you wanted to do. You didn't want to have the clarifying "this was just sex, right?" talk. You didn't want the memory of feeling absolutely wanted to be tainted. 

You wanted the freedom. You wanted to feel alive. You wanted casual. 

And the powers that be had granted your request with an empty bed and a scrap of notebook paper with a scribbled phone number and three words: Had fun - Five

A knock sounds from your door and for a second you think it might be Five, but he never knocks. He always just appears. The first time he did it, you'd nearly pissed yourself. The smug bastard had smirked and said, "Oh, I didn't mention this?" And then a few short sentences later you fell into bed. 

It has to be your roommate. And you're in no state for a visitor. Your hair is still mussed, your lips swollen, and your room smells heavily of sweat and sex.

"Y/N?" her voice echos through the door, and you shut your eyes. "You guys want coffee?"

"Yeah, one sec." 

It takes more than one second. It takes five minutes alone to get your hair looking somewhat under control, and after noticing a dark hickey just above your collarbone, you have to switch shirts as well. By the time you exit your room, the coffee pot is beeping and your roommate is pouring you a mug and handing it off. Gratefully, you accept it, checking the clock on the microwave. 

11:27 am. A bit late to be exiting your room for the first time. A bit early for a booty call. Even for a Sunday. 

"He's gone?" your roommate asks, still hovering by the coffee pot as you take a seat at the kitchen table. You nod, cradling the drink in your hands as you take small, tentative sips at the edge. 

She heaves out a sigh and puts the third mug up into the cupboard. She should know by now: he doesn't stay. He doesn't want your coffee. He doesn't want your company. He only wants you. And he has you.

Read Part 2

[endlessdoom]

DBP19: A Doomer Boards Christmas Carol

25 Maps by the Doomer Boards Community

2019

https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/themes/xmas/dbp19xmas2

MAP01: Christmas Eve Part I by Big Ol' Billy

The first teaser to this new adventure is a small hub that shows us a cozy house that follows a simple Christmas narrative to set the mood. 4/5

MAP02: Hornaments by Big Ol' Billy

The first actual map with combat, and it is quickly let go. A circular arena with a considerable amount of enemies surrounding us. The dark design and simplistic architecture give it a rather ominous feel. We will also quickly discover one of the new hidden mechanics: shooting the bells. 3/5

MAP03: Christmas Eve Part II by Big Ol' Billy

All maps will have an intermission that leads to the main hub, which also acts as a progress and rest center for reading Christmas letters. A fantastic idea that generates a unique identity. 4/5

MAP04: Festive Neighbours by Phobus

Following the tradition of MAP02 but this time in a frame. Enemies are far away and in ambush positions, waiting for the perfect moment to attack. With a claustrophobic design and a bit lost at times (the bells are well hidden) is a map that takes relatively a little more than it should. 3/5

MAP05: Christmas Eve Part III by Big Ol' Billy

Next intermission, this time we realize that our lovely home is starting to be invaded by bad guys. Oh, Sa(n)tan will be mad. 3/5

MAP06: The Pilgrim and the Hermit by Gaspe

A large map with a rather intricate and claustrophobic design that leads to a variety of paths with various small puzzles and bloody combat. The cold is felt in the hooves. 4/5

MAP07: Christmas Eve Part IV by Big Ol' Billy

Haha. Good times. 3/5

MAP08: Surprise! by glenzinho

A medium-sized Doom-city style map with a surprising design, a multitude of secrets, a small ''bell hunt'' and a progressive combat that changes and varies constantly. Fun and full of Christmas spirit. And demonic spirit too. 4/5

MAP09: Christmas Eve Part V by Big Ol' Billy

An intermission with a... surprise... ending. 3/5

MAP10: Winter Wonderland by Phobus

A surprising wonder, dark, cold and with a unique touch that delivers a variety of visual designs on a large map with fun gameplay that flows seamlessly. 4/5

MAP11: Christmas Eve Part VI by Big Ol' Billy

A hot little adventure. 3/5

MAP12: The Nut After November by SuperCupcakeTactics and glenzinho

That name is unique. For that alone it deserves an extra point. Anyway, this is a medium-large map with a multitude of interconnected roads and tight combat. Fun and with a good Christmas charisma. Hope you aren’t afraid of spiders. 4/5

MAP13: Christmas Eve Part VII by Big Ol' Billy

Ah yes, hello. 3/5

MAP14: Two Sizes Too Small by Doom_RO

A huge adventure that involves hunting different bells and quite aggressive combats through a detailed map with a pleasant and well designed design. Unfortunately, the bell hunting can be a bit irritating due to the simple nature of switch-hunting in its primordial state, but it's still a great map. 4/5

MAP15: Christmas Eve Part VIII by Big Ol' Billy

Did you know that Xmas in Romania is beautiful? 3/5

MAP16: Christmas Tree Mountain by Scrangus McBrickdad/Jaxxoon R and glenzinho

A large map with a relatively small population for its size. With an intricate design and variety of scenarios, it has a fun formula but its layout is somewhat slippery and the progression is somewhat affected. 3/5

MAP17: Christmas Eve Part IX by Big Ol' Billy

Now we explore more and more of the city in these short intermissions. 3/5

MAP18: Xmasphobia by Thundercunt

A claustrophobic and cramped map with a labyrinthine design vaguely reminiscent of Tricks 'N' Traps meets Fear of Plutonia. Interesting premise with great design. 4/5

MAP19: Christmas Eve Part X by Big Ol' Billy

Probably the hottest intermission, to the point that it could be considered a tiny map. 3/5

MAP20: Krampus Anomaly by dmdr

An excellent map with a great flow and exquisite combat, varied and with constant dynamics between the player and the fun, coupled with a good design and understandable layout. 4/5

MAP21: Christmas Eve Part XI by Big Ol' Billy

An intermission that reveals us beyond the labyrinth. Optional but rewarding exploration. 3/5

MAP22: Where Cybneezer Hid Christmas by joe-ilya

A small adventure through a kind of infnerla mansion. Secret paths and dense combat make this map a fun mission. 3/5

MAP23: Christmas Eve Part XII by Big Ol' Billy

The last intermission makes us take a walk through the wintry and dark city to get ready for the last adventure... or maybe not. 3/5

MAP24: Realm of Christmas Time by Big Ol' Billy

The "fine" map, in quotes, is a great entertaining arena with a kind of dynamic IoS that makes us face a huge variety of enemies in a small circular arena. Fun and frenetic in an expansive Christmas violence. 4/5

MAP25: Christmas Morning by Big Ol' Billy

The so famous city of the intermissions is finally given its own use in a magnificent slaughter map that will stop us in our tracks. Enormous, large and with an incredible challenge for all players. The ultimate Christmas present goes out with a boom. You're not supposed to win it (it's technically impossible) but it's a fun and crazy way to end this wad. 4/5

Overall:

» DBP19: A Doomer Boards Christmas Carol (2019) By the Doomer Boards Community

We all want to get into the enchanting spirit of the sweet Christmas season as December approaches. Nothing like celebrating the times of peace, love and understanding among all beings as by doing it in the most holy and fantastic way possible: Killing demons. Those infernal sinners are not going to clean themselves and we are here to do it. Thanks to the fantastic criminal minds of the members of the Doomer Boards Community, we have been given a fantastic Christmas installment that has all the necessary requirements to recreate a good Christmas spirit; blood, violence, guns and many, many demons. Ready to celebrate Christmas? Hit it.

A Doomer Boards Christmas Carol is a project created by the famous krew that this time is launched towards the winter celebrations of Christmas, creating a theme focused entirely on the Christmas touch of the game and redesigning textures and skins for almost the entire project, perfectly invoking that Christmas spirit that few can achieve with a game that was practically identified as a form of 3D Satanism (although it was not exactly released at Christmas, it is a Christmas game in my heart) that would launch to the market a re-copied and unique style. That of being gory and disturbing. Well, let's take the core of Doom and now give it a new twist, one that has lots of snow, cookies, warm milk, presents, red socks and some coal for the bad kids. The result? A grandiose 25-map project (half of them small intermissions) that perfectly re-invents the celebratory style into a Christmas mood that successfully recreates the game on, you guessed it, Christmas. Or something like that.

DBP19 is a fascinating project like no other that really manages to reach those standards and deliver white maps full of passion, identity and a lot of fun. Thanks to the new use of textures and the hilarious re-skins, we now have a new paint scheme for the entire game that takes us out of the hellish air and into a cooler and, uh, wholesome kind of hell.

Starting with MAP01 by @Big Ol Billy, the first map actually works as a kind of intermission/hub-styled map that makes us progress the game accompanied by a small Christmas narrative where the different members of the team give us little stories and messages about what awaits us or the story. A little touch that gives it a nice charisma. @Big Ol Billy does practically all the intermissions, as well as a few other independent maps. MAP02 continues the adventure and this time throws us directly into a combat arena that presents us with two important aspects: 1) the visual style and 2) the new mechanic of hunting ''bells'', something like switch-hunting but more simplified. MAP03 is one more intermission made by the same author, and from now on all the maps with odd number are intermissions. MAP04 by @Phobus is a re-interpretation of the first map but with a more painting style and less mercy. Gaspe comes into action with his MAP06 which gives us a great rock fortress in a world of ice full of action and beautiful visuals. MAP08 by @Glenzinho is, as the title says, a violent surprise that shows an excellent Doom-City style. @Phobus returns with MAP10 in an intricate and tight map with dark corners and welcoming demons. MAP12 by @SuperCupcakeTactics and @glenzinho wins the award for most innovative and fun title I've read all year, luckily not all is title but also essence as this is a fascinating map that combines the two styles of mappers under a perfect synergy of emotion and visual sweetness. MAP14 by @Doom_RO is a huge odyssey that makes us look for different bells while we go through different scenarios making our way through rivers of demons, all in an exciting Christmas adventure. Oh yeah. MAP16 by @Scrangus McBrickdad/Jaxxoon R and @glenzinho pits us against a huge map with amazing visuals but a somewhat confusing layout that compensates with a nice touch of detail and variety of scenarios. Thundercunt (hehe) delivers a labyrinthine and different adventure that contains as many goodies as the demons in MAP18. MAP20 by @dmdr is a fascinating ice adventure that takes us on a journey with good flow, fun combat and excellent presentation. @joe-ilya delivers a mysterious and cold mansion in MAP22, full of demons, Masterminds and a few surprises in the basement. Finally, MAP24: Realm of Christmas Time by Big Ol' Billy is an excellent final scene as we face off in a small arena-style map against a variety of enemies and a sort of modified IoS that delivers thrills and excitement. Like the good little kids, we've been. Of course, the final intermission in MAP25 is what we call a total beast that actually works like a credits map but with a twist.

Wow that was a lot of maps! Probably among the biggest (or actually biggest) DBP, quite the gift!

This winter adventure deliberates with solid greece a delivery of 25 maps full of charisma, fun, gifts and everything we need to feel comfortable and accompanied on a lonely Christmas night while the snow crashes against our windows. Not that I can relate to that because where I live it doesn't snow, but at least with this project I have managed to relate the sweet effect of nostalgia with the innocence of yesteryear where we simply wanted to enjoy Doom in its purest form. Well, this is the purest way to enjoy it at Christmas! Or practically any month, after all I'm playing this in the middle of summer. Hehe. Anyway, want some cookies? Come and get them.

[radramblog]

AFR Precon Commanders

Look I literally did this last week, but also, I haven’t really thought about Magic since then, so I don’t have any particular ideas about what to write other than just another long list of cards. I had an idea for an Ebondeath dech tech, but I’m going to put that on the backburner for a day where I have a bit more time.

Besides, there’s a reason Set Reviews and the like are so popular among players. They’re fun to make, and they’re fun to read/listen/watch. And for whatever reason, WoTC has opted to give us effectively two full Commander sets this year, with AFC having just as many precons and almost as many new Commanders as the 2016 precon offering. So there’s a lot going on, and a lot to talk about.

With only 12 new cards to talk about this time, and them being actually designed for the format, I’ll try to spend a bit longer on each one. And the first one is….

Catti-brie of Mithral Hall

There’s a lot going on here for two mana. Catti-brie is Selesnya’s second Equipment Commander, with her compatriot Nazahn being a bunch more impact, but also triple the mana cost. This is besides the part where Nazahn is not that good outside of finding his absolutely bonkers hammer.

I think Catti-brie has a lot of potential. With the right build, she can get very large very quickly, and considering she costs two whole mana, that’s fairly impressive. With no ramp and just Grafted Wargear, she’s swinging for 6 commander damage turn 3, and only getting bigger from there- literally a 3-swing clock with the extra counters.

I literally cannot envision you ever using that last ability unless someone snipes her mid-combat. But you probably don’t need it? I like her either way. Bit awkward she releases the same day as fellow two mana Selesnya Commander that gets bigger for (deckbuild mechanic), Trelassara.

 Galea, Kindler of Hope

…eh?

Okay, so it Future Sights, but only for Auras/Equips, and it gets the Sigarda’s Aid ability for Equipment, which is kind of gross- you get the card and mana advantage at the same time there. As someone with a Gruul topdeck deck, I know that Green doesn’t really offer much to that pie, but I know Blue absolutely does- not gonna be super hard to manipulate and chuck the swords you want on top of the deck.

But like…eh? This commander doesn’t excite me. They’re obviously powerful, but I just don’t care that much. There’s nothing they do that other things don’t, you know? Bant already has topdeck in Amareth, Auras in the three commanders from the Bant Enchantress deck, and arguably Voltron in Rafiq. I guess this is Bant equipment, but…Rafiq………..

 Karazikar, Eye Tyrant

Goad is such a fun mechanic, and I’m so happy to see it every time. Not only does this basically Edric in Rakdos, it also helps you force the issue? Yeah okay, that’s a solid commander. 5 mana is awkward, especially since they can’t really swing in safely themselves that often. With that in mind, the tap ability is deceptively strong, especially combined with, say, Menace.

There are currently 372 Kardur, Doomscourge decks, which is way, WAY more than I expected. I’d imagine a lot of those are switching to Karazikar, considering it’s basically the same but better. Not that I ever really care for “just better” cards, but not everyone sees things the same way I do.

 Klauth, Unrivaled Ancient

What if we made Savage Ventmaw a legend? Okay, cool, but also we fixed it so you can’t go infinite. Wait no stop don’t put Ventmaw in the deck anyway noooooo-

Whoever decided this should have Haste deserves a raise, as the card would be nigh-unusable without it. As it is, this is going to basically let you doublespell constantly, especially if that first one has Haste. Ramp, Beaters, and X-Spells are going to abound. It’s hardly the most unique Gruul commander- Radha 2 exists, after all- but it’s still a solid one.

 Lorcan, Warlock Collector

I think I’ve played D&D with this guy before.

Lorcan is basically Grave Betrayal in the zone. Upside: Grave Betrayal is a bonkers card, and this doesn’t have the end step clause. Downside: 7 mana in the zone is huge, and the life cost will add up very quickly. Upside: Unironically the exile clause is good, since it means you get to effectively grave-hate with this guy. Downside: some good cards, like Marshland Bloodcaster, are Warlocks, and you don’t want to be exiling your own things.

Lorcan is probably a very fun commander, because Grave Betrayal is fun and cool. It’s probably not actually a very good one. I like it in the 99, though? Might pick one up for Gonti.

 Minn, Wily Illusionist

Okay I don’t care if this card is good it’s so fucking cool. Finally, Illusion Tribal! Get out your Krovikan Mists and Lords of the Unreal! Blue has no trouble drawing extra cards, even on your opponent’s turns, so she’s going to be pumping out a bunch of these tokens.

Oh, also that second ability is bonkers. It doesn’t say nonland, you can ramp with this! Very solid for a more permanent-based Blue deck. There are also just a bunch of random Illusions that this greatly benefits- Murmuring Mystic and Mordenkainen and Meloku all make tokens, and Draining Whelk and Fathom Seer have the type. Not a huge number of sacrifice outlets, but Drowned Rusalka is probably the best it has ever been here. Very interesting card.

 Nihiloor

Mx steal-yo-girl here is certainly a unique effect, but not the most interesting one. The second effect benefits Theft tribal, but not, like, well? Though I suppose ganking creatures is a strong enough effect already.

And yet, on this one it’s really awkward? Esper isn’t known for bigboy creatures, but that’s something this deck wants, apparently. It has a lot of potential, but also, there’s a huge amount of setup and a huge potential to get blown out, since blowing them up gives all opponents their guys back immediately. I like what they were trying to do here, but it’s a tad naff.

Prosper, Tome-Bound

Ah yes, the one everyone’s hyped about. And for fair reason, this card is cool as fuck. It’s a unique effect in the colour, and it’s both card advantage and ramp in one card, and it’s in Rakdos of all combinations? Also, it’s a Tiefling, so surely people are horny for him. There’s a good reason this is the most popular commander from the set, including the main set cards.

This is not the only cast-from-exile matters commander in existence- Laelia came out this year too, but she’s weaker and also not black. The extra colour adds a bunch more to this- theft effects mostly, but also more Cascade cards like Bituminous Blast, things like Dream Devourer, and fucking Valki babyyyy. Add in the black Artifact synergy and you’ve got a both flexible and powerful general.

 Sefris of the Hidden Ways

This is probably the only commander that’s going to see any play with the Venture mechanic, so get it while it’s hot. “From anywhere” is a huge line of text, and I suspect Syr Konrad is going to find his way into a lot of Sefris decks.

I’m sure there’s a combo this can do or something, but at the end of the day: Do you like the dungeon mechanic? If so, you’ll probably like this card. If not, you probably won’t. Also, since they are surely not going to make more Dungeon cards any time soon, and maybe never again, this deck is going to look very the same for a very long time.

 Stormvald, Frost Giant Jarl

Sheesh, Bant kinda lost out on this one. Storvald is so incredibly eh.

Ward 3 is, like, juuust on the edge of not really doing that much, where it makes removal cost 4-5, so it’s awkward, but you’re still going to do it if the target is threatening enough. What I’m saying is that it isn’t actually an especially good protective ability on your 7-drop, even if you are in Green.

Making creatures big is decent enough- I’m of the opinion that Gigantomancer is an underrated card, and this gives more colours for things to embiggen. Making things small is slightly less relevant, especially since your 7/7 commander and beater are likely to be crunching through most things anyway. The card is fine, but unexciting.

I like Bant well enough as a colour combination, but like, none of the commanders are my jam. Maybe one day.

 Vrondiss, Rage of Ancients

Iiinteresting. Look, let’s not beat around the bush, dice-rolling isn’t really a thing unless you’re silver bordered- yeah you could get a few of the better things in there, but you’re probably better off just playing ping effects. Pyrohemia this fucker up.

Enrage was a funky mechanic that didn’t actually get a commander, aside from just the Dino tribal ones. But now we have a proper one, and they’re a Dragon to boot. Also, this is probably the easiest its ever been to generate a bunch of Dragon tokens, so getting triggers from them is real easy, even if they are one-shot-pops. Keep in mind that doesn’t say Combat Damage, so Scourge of Valkas and Dragon Tempest are kind of a nonbo.

Gruul obviously already has Dragon Tribal options, but this is still a good thing to have around.

 Wulfgar of Icewind Dale

WoTC apparently decided to throw everyone a curveball on this one. Because from my recollection, everyone on r/custommagic assumed we’d get this effect at some point, now that technology like Panharmonicon exists, but they and I assumed it would be, you know, Boros. The colour combo that probably needs it more. Gruul, really? Come on Gavin, you’re a great dude but what the fuck is this.

Sigh. That’s not especially fair.

This combos with like half a dozen things to make mana and probably triple that to make damage. And there’s surely ways to draw cards, and blow things up, et cetera, et cetera. I’m just salty. This isn’t the note I wanted to go out on!

Fuck it, at least you can still double a Drakuseth trigger. But my Aurelia……..

[straightfacedstrangeness]

Not that anyone asked (but seriously I’d LOVE for someone to talk to me about PokeSpe (just no spoilers past vol 13)) but since I made an offhand remark about my Top 5 favorite characters, it occurred to me that I actually DO have approximately 5 top favorite characters, and I’m procrastinating on work, so I’m gonna ramble

**just in case, note that a lot of this will revolve around my childhood experience with gender in a “I’m AFAB (and present-day me still identifies as a cis girl) but I don’t fit in with what media is telling me girls are like” way, a brief childhood feeling of homophobia, and probably general TMI about my opinions and emotions throughout my life, haha

1. Yellow

Okay, so, I was a little kid when Pokemon Adventures started coming out in English, back when manga was released as single-issue monthly comic books instead of complete volumes.  So I was rereading the same chapters over and over while anxiously awaiting the rest of the story (and wound up missing a bunch of issues anyway)

I enjoyed the RGB arc, I thought it was fun, but I didn’t LOVE the series until Yellow showed up.  At that age my ideal crush was “a cute boy my age who would be nice to me” and Yellow was presented to the reader as a cute boy my age who was sweet and kind and gentle, but also good in a fight, as all shounen protags must be.  Extra bonus points because they had just a few physically weak Pokémon and tried to fight battles in a way that minimized damage to their own and the opponent’s Pokémon, which meant they fought in a particularly smart and clever way.  And I was considered “smart” for being good at school, so being a SMART cute “boy” my age who would be nice to me, Yellow was PERFECT.  I mean, I loved the arc in general because of the clever battles, and the mystery of what had happened to Red, why these people were after Pikachu, why Yellow was so secretive about themself and their mission, etc was really engaging.  But also I adored Yellow as a character and partly in a “I wonder if ‘he’ would like me??” kind of way X’D  So to my tiny child self who didn’t even know it was possible to like-like someone of the same gender (because I hadn’t read Cardcaptor Sakura yet XD ), the reveal that Yellow was a “girl” was devastating—I had to cross out floating hearts on at least one drawing of us holding hands (scandalous!) and, while kind of stunned and shaken for a while, decided that what I’d felt all along was a deep, intense desire to be friends X’D (which probably wasn’t too far from the truth since I was pre-puberty and later turned out to be asexual)

(Also note that I never got the RGB issue that had the chapter where Red helps a little ‘girl’ capture a Rattata—later proven to be Yellow’s backstory—so the gender reveal really came out of nowhere for me.)

But anyways, I still love Yellow as a character for all the above reasons, without the crush aspects because I’m way older than them now.

Also when I reread the series ten years ago, I finally realized “wait, aside from surprising the reader, there’s no real plot reason for Yellow to pretend to be a ‘boy’ except that Green told ‘her’ to—so why did ‘she’ do it?”...and because at that time I didn’t even know that nonbinary genders existed, I decided it was cus they had low self-esteem and pretending to be a different person gave them courage (the same reading I had for Mulan at the time).  These days I’m more inclined to “yeah, I think Yellow’s nonbinary,” but that other interpretation was deeply relatable to me and only made me love Yellow even more.

2. Bill

Bill’s definitely a character I’ve grown to love more as an adult, since I’ve gone from seeing myself as “a protagonist doing cool things” to “a side character just living their life who hopefully gets to do something once in a while.”  But as a kid and now, I like him mostly for the slapstick and goofy expressions and the (early chapters Viz translations) outrageous accent  X’D  My brain desperately craves endorphins and the best way to get em is through a good laugh.

But also, I liked that he was introduced as a goofy character-of-the-week who got into ridiculous trouble and had to be rescued, but then kept being brought back, was slowly built up to be the “smart sidekick who explains things,” and eventually got to the point where he was participating in big battles (the Yellow finale on Cerise Island).  I rambled about this in the tags of another post, but I liked that he was a character who was “weak” without being “useless.”  As a kid who was good at school, I was obsessed with being good at things and had developed a black-and-white view of the world where either you were “strong/smart” or “weak/stupid” to the point that failing or just being not-so-good at anything was devastating (it still kind of is), because that meant I was actually “weak/stupid” when I was supposed to be “strong/smart.”  So it was kind of awesome that this guy who kept getting into trouble and having to be rescued—and didn’t even want to BE part of the final battle—managed to hold his own and get through it and help out instead of being a burden that dragged everyone down.  Seriously, he used a MAGIKARP effectively—the Pokémon everyone makes fun of for being “useless” and he used its one attack to save his life!

(Bonus points for all this happening in contrast to my devastating childhood experience of stanning The One Girl Character in every popular shounen series, waiting desperately for her to get to do something in battle, and then her one spotlight episode revolved around her struggling because she was so weak...not only was that actually happening to a boy for once, it was actually happening in a more satisfying/empowering way :’D )

3. Gold

I have extremely specific tastes when it comes to “the dumb shounen/action movie protag,” because as a kid I hated it when the main character was “dumb” because I was “smart” (re: good at school) and people who were “dumb” shouldn’t deserve to be the main character and have all the cool powers and save the world and stuff.  As an adult, I hate it when male characters are dumb and/or jerks but it’s treated as fine or even sexy(??) and the other characters fawn over them, and I generally still kind of hate it when characters who are dumb and/or jerks get the big important role when there’s a female character RIGHT THERE who’s more competent (and OF COURSE she has to wind up falling in love with him)

But anyway, I have extremely specific tastes, and Gold is it  X’D  He’s the perfect combination of “unshakably confident in his own stupid/egotistic views” and “treated as annoying and/or comic relief by the rest of the cast” with a bonus dash of actually being really clever in battle (so my inner child goes “Ah yes, technically, he is ’smart,’ and therefore...worthwhile“)  Making me laugh while also impressing me is like the key to my heart.

4. Crystal

I’m too lazy to look it up, but when Viz was publishing Pokemon Adventures as monthly comics, they must have switched to publishing it as trade paperbacks only and/or had a huge gap between the end of Yellow and the start of GSC, because for YEARS I’d thought Yellow was the end of the series and was shocked the first time I saw later volumes.  (My dad was buying us the monthly issues at the local comic store, and either they wouldn’t have ordered the trade paperbacks or he wouldn’t have thought to check those shelves.)

Anyway, that’s a long lead-in to the statement of “Crystal would automatically be my #1 or #2 if I’d read her arc as a kid.”  She’s a girl, she wears pants, she’s EXTREMELY smart (genius-level “book-smarts” about every Pokémon’s behaviors and weaknesses PLUS being clever in a battle), was tough as nails (she KICKED her Pokéballs!!), had no interest in romance or her appearance, AND had a short arc about losing her confidence and training herself back up to full power.  I would have KILLED for a character like that when I was a little girl being told that “girls don’t like action shows like Dragon Ball Z” (but I was a girl and I did???) and that girls were supposed to be pretty and obsessed with fashion and dating, and that girls were never the main character of action series, just side characters who either did nothing or got one chance to do something and were pathetically weak (see above, and/or Sakura’s fight against Ino (Naruto), those couple filler eps where Téa/Anzu played Duel Monsters (Yu-Gi-Oh), Videl getting pummeled by Spopovich (DBZ), etc).

So anyway, she’s awesome, she’s exactly the type of character I would’ve loved as a kid.  The only reason she’s behind Gold here is because at my age, “makes me laugh” > “the kind of main character I used to wish I could be”

5. Green (the girl trainer...I’m just too loyal to the Viz version to call her “Blue”...)

I’m trying not to rehash the same “I’m a girl but none of the girls in my shows/comics are like me!” childhood woes over and over, haha, but as much as I always enjoyed Green for being extremely clever and outsmarting the boys and being funny when she did so, she always lost points with me for being “pretty” and flirting to get her way, because that put her in the box of “girls are supposed to be pretty and desired by boys and obsessed with their appearance and romance” that was so foreign and disheartening to me as a kid.

But her staredown with Ho-oh at the end of the GSC arc TOTALLY got me.  As a sad adult with anxiety, watching characters who are absolutely terrified overcome their fear, watching characters who are completely beaten down struggle back to their feet and keep fighting, is like my ultimate power fantasy.  That sequence genuinely had me in tears.

Also her bond with Silver is super precious, especially since that’s like the first time in the series we’ve seen her be genuinely emotional and vulnerable with someone instead of teasing or manipulating them.

Honorable mention: Sapphire

I haven’t gotten up to R/S in my reread yet, and I only read that arc once over like a weekend ten years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a Top Fave cus again there’s that “I'm not like other girls!” childhood feel  (last time I’m saying it, I promise)

It’s a story arc where one protag wants to fight the gyms and the other protag wants to win the beauty contests, but the one who wants to fight the gyms is the girl!!  And she’s the typical “dumb but extremely good at fighting” shounen protag but she’s the girl!!  She’s feral and illiterate and a total tomboy and wins all her fights and she’s a GIRL!!!!

--

Anyway, those are my kids and my dude and my probably way-too-personal reasons why.  If you wanna reblog, reply, or send an ask about your own faves...please

[love-bokumono-fics]

in your opinion, which harvest moon or sos games are worth playing and which are not? Are the older titles worth it?

So I have to confess, I have played relatively few HM/SoS games to completion. "Completion" meaning: over a year in-game played, got married, had a kid, and/or completed whatever story there is to be done. I am also of the mind that if something makes me happy, regardless of how old, or objectively "bad" it might be considered, it's worth playing. It makes me happy, it's time well spent.

So if you're looking for an actual critical, and well thought out review of the games, I am not the blog to ask. There are lots of other people out there who have given more thought to the matter than I have.

For the record, the games I have played are: Back to Nature, HM 3 GBC, (More) Friends of Mineral Town, Island of Happiness, Save the Homeland, SoS1, Trio of Towns, SoS Friends of Mineral Town, and I'm working my way through Pioneers of Olive Town.

I've played a little bit of Tale of Two Towns, and A New Beginning, but I didn't get very far in either of those before getting distracted with other things. I enjoyed them while I was playing, but also neither of them captured my attention enough to stay invested long term. Make of that what you will.

I never played any of the titles that were released on Game Cube or Wii, and I basically didn't play anything between 2007 and 2014. Which some people will say is when the best games came out, and I missed out on the best titles, but I never played them so I can't offer an opinion on them. And I haven't played any of the Harvest Moon titles since the split.

So of the ~25 games that we have under the Hm/SoS umbrella, I've played 10, and 4 of them are technically the same game remade on different consoles so let's say 6. Several of the games I played as a literal child, and when I upgraded to the next technology generation, I lost my ability to play them. Others I picked up again as an adult and thoroughly enjoyed my time playing.

As for the "worth" of the game, it really depends on what you, personally, want from your game. I've already given you my definition of "worth". I realize it is not Everyone's definition of "worth". Nonny, I suspect, that since you're asking me in the first place, "it makes me happy" isn't the only reason you want/need to invest time and effort into playing a game. I cannot tell you which games you think will be "worth it."

I think each game has it's own value. It offers something that other's don't. Different characters, different farming mechanics, different stories, and I think each one, in its own way has some value to impart on the players.

My long-time favorite game has been the Mineral Town games, ever since we got BTN in 2000 I fell in love with the premise, the characters, the setting. I bought the gameboy versions when they hit stores, and they are the games I most consistently return to when I want something comfortable.

Compared to recent games though, the Mineral Town ones are Really Basic. And while I love the games for their nostalgia, I know some people will be bored to tears by them of they go from playing the more recent games to that. Even when FoMT hit the switch last sumer I had a bit of whiplash going "oh, there's so little on the calendar, and I only have how many different crops to grow? nothing grows in winter? okay." because I had just come off from playing Trio of Towns.

If you want to be busy and have 100 goals to meet, stick to the newer games. If you just wanna chill and do whatever, try some of the older games if you can.

I think, if you have the time/ability to go back and play the old games, and you want to do it, then by all means, go for it!

A lot of them are only available to play on technology that a lot of people don't have floating around their homes anymore. If they didn't get a next gen port to an easily accessible console, so unless you still have a functioning PS2 or GBA, you're not going to have the chance to play them. Yeah, emulators are out there and they work, but in my experience they're also annoying and buggy, and not an ideal way to play the games. If you have the consoles, but not the games, getting your hands on copies can be very expensive.

You are already prone to play the old games. You're gonna play them regardless of my opinions on them. You're gonna shell out the cash or set up the emulator, or dust off the Wii and pray it still works, and i hope you enjoy your time playing!

These games have been coming out over 20+ years at this point, and while many of them are just remakes/reskins/girl versions, that's still so much time covered in video game technology. And comparing the earliest games to the most recent ones is more of an exercise in frustration and futility. You're never going to find the right answer.

(I also don't know what your personal gauge for 'old' is, Nonny. Because Old for me are games that are 20 years old. Old for you might be games that are 5 years old, which was like... last week from my perspective, so...)

All this to say, I guess I'll give a brief opinion on the games I have played, and y'all can make your decisions as you please from there.

Back to Nature/Mineral Town Games: My OG game. Always holds a dear spot in my heart for nostalgia. Love the town, love the characters, love the music, can do no wrong, a very enjoyable, if basic, farming game. Easy to play for a bit, set down for a while, and pick up and play again without feeling like you've forgotten you were in the middle of something important.

HM GBC 3: Pretty sure I was 10 last time I played it, so grain of salt. I found it more boring than the MT games, the town and maps were smaller, none of the characters had portraits, I didn't really get all of the details to make the farm work. I'm sure if I went back now as an adult I would have a better time, but I have no desire to emulate it. If you want to emulate it, go for it, but be warned that if you play as a girl, the game ends after you get married. Doesn't do that if you play as a boy so...

Save the Homeland: I kept going back to replay this game for years. I thought the premise was fun, and I always wanted to try and get all of the endings, but never did. I would buy it again in a heartbeat if it got remastered. Different from other games tho, in that you only get one year to play and get an ending, and once you do, the game restarts you at Spring 1 and nobody knows who you are again. You get to keep your animals and house upgrades, but there's no dating and marriage.

Island of Happiness: I love the setting and the characters, but god FUCK that weather system. Can't get shit to grow unless you obsessively track if it rains and how sunny it is and it completely ruined the game for me. I tried playing it again a couple years back and couldn't be bothered to keep tracking stuff. I never once unlocked all of the crops or livestock on any of my playthroughs. Did manage to play long enough to get married once.

SoS1: The game that convinced me to go back to buying new stuff after IoH kind of put me off new HM games for the better part of a decade (I had FoMT to replay it was fine). Liked it well enough, thought some of the characters were a bit bland, but still enjoyable enough to get married and have a kid. Unlocking all the vendors is a bitch though, and I still haven't gotten them all. A fine game, but if you're only going to play One 3DS game, I wouldn't suggest this one.

Trio of Towns: This one ties with FoMT as my favorite game! I love everything about it. The Characters, the setting and premise, the music, the depth of events. There's so much to do, there's never a boring day, but that can also feel overwhelming if you're the kind if person who tries to do everything at once. Not as easy to pick up and put down as some of the more basic games, but it's very replayable in my book and I keep coming back to it.

Pioneers of Olive Town: It's a middling game for me. Like SoS1, it's fine, but unlike SoS1, there's very little to do in the game. I completed the "main story" in less than a year without putting in much effort to complete things in a timely manner. The characters and the game had So Much Potential, particularly after 3oT, and all of it fell flat in my expectations. Plus some of the technical issues we all experienced at launch. Now, I'm still playing it, I don't hate the game, and the updates have made things better. But with the story done and all of the characters feeling a bit Flat, I'm biding my time between DLC updates to see if I want to marry any of the special candidates instead of the base game characters. I'll probably keep playing long enough to get married and probably unlock everything on the farm, but beyond that I'm not super invested.

My final verdict is, if you have a 3DS, get Trio of Towns, if you only have a Switch, get Friends of Mineral Town. If you want to put forth the time and effort into acquiring the old games, or emulating them, by all means go for it.

[semi-imaginary-place]

I started watching deca-dence

1: oh what was that called. there’s a name for this tech aesthetic.... also the city is floating on monster goo which is also their energy resource... is that really a good design?????? why is there open access to the monster goo i mean those kids are totally going to fall in. Oh boss dude’s a super secret agent thing. lots of reveals this ep. That action sequence at the end was really cool but wow i do not like those squishing sound effects. also, of all the livestock to raise, why cows??? per pound of protein, cows are horribly inefficient especially when land and resources like water are scare.

2. We have a post apocalyptic society and they kept bagpipes of all things??? I’ve noticed this in fiction and perhaps this is true of real life but sustained conflict coincides with the glorification of the warrior/soldier social class. oh god and now the creators are doing a post moderist take, yay capitalism. this is a good take on the isekai “transported to a game world”/mmo lightnovel genre (see past post). what makes something “real” I was playing of a ttrpg around that concept... mikey’s got all the flags to die horrifically and be part of kaburagi’s tragic backstory. lol kaburagi got turned into a mod. There’s also something dehumanizing and horrifying in managing a society like this all to maintain the status quo. so let’s see if I have this straight, the remnants of capitalism made deca-dence and then a bunch of little robot people who are incentivized via a game system to destroy the squishy monsters. the city design makes sense now it wasn’t made with things like safety or efficiency or any regard for the residents in mind, it was made to look cool. Living in a fuel tank is exactly the type of bullshit to expect from a videogame.

3: kurenai has the vibes of that one cool npc that the the main character out grows to show how strong you’ve become. (the trope is rife with misogyny. who was the one that talked about it? ... femfreq?), wonder what the show will do with it. good job deconstructing the instant expert trope. lit. unregulated capitalism. what is corporations replaced government but for little cyborg people. curious about this minato guy. the 175 years until decommission or whatever makes me wonder how long all of this has been going on. on the screen with the eurasia bubble, were other structures, so i wonder whats happening elsewhere in the world.

4. the game trailer style shots.... the juxtaposition of the tankers discussing battle strategy for a life or death situation, with the cyborgs excited for the next raid event and talking about the game’s story is real good. its a revolving door of mood whiplash. oof dramatic irony since the entertainment corp also seems to control gadoll numbers. Why do none of the Power wear armor? oh right aesthetics and game logic, i answered my own question. I was thinking about this for a little while but kaburagi really does have the set up to be an isekai/mmo light novel protag so I’m really glade we have natsume as well. If done improperly her character type can get kind of annoying, the show did a good job of humanizing her which is important since so much of the disconnect between a game world and a lived reality hinges on her. why isn’t altitude sickness a problem for anyone?

5. yikes. saved twice within the first 10 minutes. maybe dont charge in there natsume. and it was the cool lady too! oh shit limit release. now the stakes are up. isnt kaburagi totally going to get his little head chopped off and the his little green battery extracted.

...

...

...

6. I’ve always had a soft spot for the struggle against the inevitable and unmovable. i was wondering how they were managing the squishies population. just where is this lake? what weird ass hazing system has kaburagi ended up in... is this the slow part of the anime? where they save up frames for the finale?

7. i just realized that kaburagi purposefully chose dog faced characters twice in a row. like he can choose to look like whatever he wants and he good, i feel comfortable looking like this. good for him. How did they punch a hole in the wal anyways, mechanically? with gadoll? We’ve see that they can either change the projection surrounding deca-dence, or actually have full control of all material int he bubble. oh kabu-san you are finally starting to think. but its not the gadoll that are the root of the problem, its the deca-dence system. btw since cyborgs run on the green juice which i think is made from gadolls??? how does kabu plan on fueling everyone. he hasn’t thought about it has he. of course the gadoll have a kill switch. do the tankers have one...?

8. a setup episode. my heart was racing during the avatar retrieval part, so much tension. jill is great. not sure why kaburagi doesnt just tell natsume whats going on. i do think it’d be a shock and a lot to take in just like when the gadoll reset on the mountain, but it’d make coordinating much easier. as is taking her along while not telling her whats going on doesnt feel right. also the green slanty eyed cyborgs given me bad vibes from the start, after all he’s the one that told mikey about removing the limiter. I’m kinda sad we only have 12 episodes so we have to enter the finale already. i would have loved to see the tanker teams, natsume and fei, and minato and kaburagi relationships fleshed out.

9. YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER. so she would have time to process all that world shaking information not in the middle of the operation when it could cost her her life! also doesn’t this mean all the cyborgs still alive are now trapped in the waste disposal place.

10. i totally forgot about that tunnel. that said it looks kinda fragile, how’d it survive the explosion? And how did the robo crew get a hideout?? jill is amazing. she’s like a wizard. Natsume just doesn’t get a break, no ones explained to her the cyborg-avatar thing. I’m too invested in this show to analyze anything.

11. holy shit i wonder what the last few episodes were going to be about. they’re going to black hole the whole place. also we can finally hear pipopi! I thought it a bit funny pruple nose seemed to be taking advice for them but really eh was taking orders? so minato did the tremendously stupid thing of logging out and then hopping on a shuttle to get from orbit to deca-dence so he could talk to kaburagi face to face. even if they take out the gadoll, that doesn’t stop the deca0dence system from having a kill switch on the bubble.

12. POMDOROSA DID THE END SCENE ART. it really is 7 degrees of separation, they have a tumblr here. right as the natsume flashbacks started, I knew what was going to happen. Was it really safe inside the drill thing?? ah whatever. Kaburagi really went all out and busted himself huh. He probably didn’t actually need to use so much force that it’d break decadence. ah I’m rambling. I binged watched this show in 1 day. i started tearing up at the natsume flahsbacks... I dont remember what i just watched it was pure experience. I do wonder whats happening on other continents.. Jill! I can’t believe it took you 3 years to organize your files and find kaburagi’s backup! well i mean its realistic but still.

Deca-Dence is very good, like not even talking about the thematic stuff the execution in both animation and writing are both really good.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

so i just heard on twitter P5S had some development problems, thus the issues with the story, the lack of character development, and the switch performance. It would explain quite a bit, but I haven't really heard anything from legit sources. Did you ever see or hear anything about that?

I....I’ve been very sparse on Twitter today tbh. So I’m a bit behind. So I don’t know the tweet you’re referring to. ;w; orz 

(oh boi, under the cut cause weeeeeeeeee 8U buckle up novel time)

If P5S had development problems with story/chars, that would’ve been with the JPN release. Which might explain why it started developing before P5R but released later (doesn’t help that Atlus apparently just signed off on the story rather than write it themselves >.> think that info in particular can be found on another personacentral article). But AtlusUSA isn’t involved with writing the story, just translating/localizing it. 

Switch performance, I doubt AtlusUSA is the one who is in charge with fixing that too. If anyone is gonna patch that mess, that’s gonna be KT (hell not even AtlusJPN, cause KT is who developed it iirc). Now I DO know that AtlusJPN is working on a patch for having SMT3 run better but that’s not P5S sooooo 8U

Now my personal theory/theories about why P5S was taking so long was:

Covid

Covid

Covid

Localization rights (KT America vs AtlusUSA/AtlusWest, I’mma still use USA screw west sorry its one letter too long and I’m lazy >8U)

PS5

Swap PS5 out with Steam and there we go. Should’ve seen the hints before but yeah....we’ll get to that in a bit. 

Covid really screwed a lot of things up, like REALLY REALLY. I don’t think I can stress this enough. It pushed back a lot of stuff because people couldn’t gather. Not just “in public” like literally at work. It took awhile for people to implement ways to still do their job (either by working from home, or having a small bubble). We know anime and dubbing got delayed because of that. Hell some games got delayed because of that too! So I cannot stress enough how much Covid screwed everything up. But how much did it screw everything up? Well......that’s when I decided to look at the past few games AtlusUSA had localized. The result was usually 5-7 months, that includes PQ2 which infamously didn’t have a dub (ah should’ve included SJR..... uhhhh oh same time, 6 months). Anyway I predicted August-November if they skirt the marketing, otherwise we’d get it early 2021. And a-yo wouldya look at that~!

Anyway that post was in July, by that time I think companies figured out how to safely gather for dubs. But keep in mind AtlusWest was also doing other translations beside english now so........yeah......people who say the dub is the reason for the delay, I don’t think that’s right (heck even in this case I don’t think it’s right). Considering that SJR/PQ2 both took about the same time, I have a feeling that AtlusJPN doesn’t want AtlusUSA to release their game until a set time (thankfully it seems that might be changing with SMTV tho!) 

So we’ve addressed Covid, and my mini conspiracy of AtlusJPN forcing a later release date on western releases..... What about Localization rights? So.... ok, there was a post I wanted to make sometime around 2018 but never did. In around 2018 BBTAG was coming out right? So fun fact, at Acen I was there and lo and behold a rep from Arcsys was there showing off an arcade of BBTAG~! And not just any rep, a marketing rep iirc! Well let’s just say I had a few questions, as a fan I’m not a reporter fksjdkflja didn’t come in swinging with a recorder sorry (anyway the questions were something about VAs like getting old Kanji/Chie/Teddie back, changing Aigis’ name back to Aegis....iirc Teddie wasn’t out yet so yeah I’d ask why the wishy washy stance but ey didn’t know that info yet, if they’d be working on Arena 3 rather than AtlusUSA, yadda yadda). Well the thing that stood out was when I asked if Arcsys’ new western branch would be in charge of localizing this hypothetical Arena 3 or any other Persona Fighting game if made. And he said “yeah, if Arcsys JPN works on it, we’ll be localizing it!” Now, that was then this is now. Things change, it’s also a diff company compared to KT so things might be different. (btw Arcsys didn’t have a western branch with Arena/Ultimax so yeah obvie AtlusUSA did the localization). Or it could’ve been bad info. Or it could’ve been that-that was the case but it isn’t now. But here’s the thing, KT does have a western branch (that or google is lying), and IF, IF what Arcsys’ rep says applies here....then there might have been a dispute between two companies on who might localize it going on behind the scenes. Which might explain why AtlusUSA wasn’t talking about P5S cause....yeah....you don’t really talk about that stuff when it’s in dispute. >.> BUT that’s just a theory. 8U A SILLY THEORY! Thanks for-oh wait I have one more. 8U (but low key that could’ve been happening behind the scenes, so like I wouldn’t be surprised, but the next theory also makes sense why it was delayed so eh, could be both, could be one or the other doesn’t matter)

So the last theory I had was originally the PS5. So like, we didn’t know till very late that when the next gen consoles were coming out. :) Thanks Sony. :) And Microsoft. :) *cough* Anyway, so I thought maybe AtlusJPN wanted to do an update or something and might’ve been holding AtlusUSA back so they could do that because YEAH WHY NOT! ANYTHING GOES ATM! But....BUT..... after the leak.....it made sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if they held back because of.....Steam. sajdkfla Esp with those teases of other games coming to Steam....I can’t believe I didn’t see it kdljsaf It also makes a lot of sense timeline wise. So we know that CHN/KR got their own versions of P5S right? Yeah so those dropped around the time of P4G’s WW release on Steam (4-5 days after P4G iirc). Now, CHN/KR tranlsations are probably faster than the western releases for a number of reasons, similar cultures (so localizing isn’t as bad), and the languages are closer than their romance counterpart so it’s probably easier translating too (they also don’t have to dub but as SJR/PQ2 have shown that’s a non issue). But here’s the thing, AtlusJPN wasn’t expecting such a success on Steam....and then it happened. So that leads me to believe that they probs got to work right away on a Steam release (or at least got more serious about it). And now all of it is probably basically done (translating, dubbing, Steamming, yadda yadda), now they just have to market it, and VGA is the best time this late in the year.

*inhales* So yeah, that’s my theory on what happened. Again, it’s a theory, all speculation from info I have available. Not saying any of it is true, it’s just what sounds plausible. 

[mingtiddies]

prince!seungkwan

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, prince au

word count: 1762

warnings: none that I can think of???

a/n: HI GUYS i’m so sorry for posting and leaving for 8567 days and then posting again and repeating the cycle ejfhejkrh, i have stuff prepared and series planned but i usually like to finished them before starting to post, but then i post anyway and have to make you wait bc i don’t have the inspiration to write

BUT ANYWAYS enjoy seungkwan’s au hehe

● “NO GIRLS ARE DIRTY” - prince seungkwan at 6 years old

● his parents were already tired

● seungkwan was a good boy, the best boy even

● except when it came to talks of marriage and spending his life married to a girl

● it was a mistake on his parents’ part to have told him when he was a kid

● but lots of kings and queens from neighboring kingdoms had done it and it had gone well

● but not for seungkwan

● he refused to spend time with his wife to be and even went as far as to drench the poor girl in milk

● growing up, seungkwan refrained from doing stuff like this (because he was a grown man now)

● but he never stopped fighting his parents on the matter

● his parents ended up giving up on setting him up with this girl he never even called by name

● he was a bit harsh

● but he hated the idea of having his life set out for him and not having a say in it

● moreover he didn’t even wanna get married, not until he was at least 30 years old and his mom scolded him saying he'd be too old by then

● and so without having ever announced that seungkwan would get engaged to the daughter of a king of another country, the poor girl left the palace

● and for a while he thought that his parents had abandoned all together

● boy was he wrong

● here you come

● brought in by his parents

● they thought your calm personality would help soothe seungkwan’s, they found you so polite and nice

● seungkwan, a grown man, 20 years of age, suddenly went back to his childish ways in an instant

● stomping his foot and everything

● looks mad mad

● when you witnessed this, you thought ‘oh great’ what did the Boos had gotten you into

● and you disliked the way he talked to his parents so much

● so when the introductions were done, his mother thanks you for being patient with his tantrum

● seungkwan really thought he could get away with it because the moment you yelled at him to catch his attention

● he got scared, like for his life scared, but only for a second

● because you don’t really look intimidating

● until you opened your mouth to yell at him some more

● “QUIT ACTING LIKE A CHILD YOUR PARENTS ARE DOING THEIR JOB AS KING AND QUEEN PARENTS”

● and then he got scared again

● because why were you yelling at him??

● and when he raised his voice at you to say he didn’t want to get married

● hmmm, big mistake

● “OKAY AND? WHAT ARE YOU FIVE? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE OVER THE KINGDOM”

● and he was so appalled by the way you talked to him

● to him, a prince

● when the door opened and a staff came in he was shocked

● “did you not hear that?”

● and the staff got flustered because what was he supposed to hear

● his mother came in and he asked the same question

● “SHE GOT MAD AND SHE YELLED AT ME”

● his mother gave him a look and turned to you too but you smiled and waved your hand

● seungkwan appalled times 73273

● “WOAH”

● can’t believe what happened

● it went on for way too long

● seungkwan tried to find ways to sabotage the announcement (which happened the day you came to the palace)

● and he kept throwing tantrums

● there was no way you would take his shit ever

● no one would believe him when he’d say you yelled at him and you found it so funny

● threatened to record or film you

● always forgot to do it

● his parents were preparing the engagement party and really wanted your input and your personal taste to make it your engagement party

● so you were about to hold a meeting for it

● but suddenly an emergency came up and it turned out that seungkwan had let guard dogs on the loose inside of the palace

● as well as two horses, who were panicking

● meeting cancelled

● seungkwan happy

● but you knew it was him

● as soon as you were alone you yelled at him again about being a brat and sabotaging days of hard work

● he just stared at you, the usual look gone from his eyes

● and he realized that fuck you’re kinda hot when you yell at him

● he blurted it out loud and you hit him so hard he screamed

● you tried so very hard to find him redeeming qualities

● which wasn’t hard at all because for every dumb thing he did he had two qualities to make up for it

● you watched him take umbrellas to all of the staff working outside

● you watched him helping the kitchen staff with carrying stuff

● you watched him be a good son to his parents

● things actually started to change

● you didn’t really notice it because seungkwan was still annoying and he didn’t because he still tried to be annoying

● but the staff did

● he didn’t throw tantrums anymore

● an actual first

● he still fought his parents about marriage but his arguments lacked something

● he was doing it out of habit

● i mean he had fought against it for his entire life since he’d learned he was going to marry someone

● he started teasing you, poking at your sides during dinners and trying to embarrass you (just a little)

● you started nagging him for messing with you and everyone thought it was cute

● they still had no idea you how much you yelled at him for being a pain in the ass

● that’s when you started to feel uneasy

● why were you even here when he clearly didn’t want this

● (that’s when it all goes downhill and his parents are stressed as hell)

● you had yet another meeting but you didn’t feel like going because well, you knew seungkwan would sabotage it again

● truth is you didn’t have the heart to handle any more of his childish rants

● you didn’t have the heart to get rejected so blatantly again

● so when seungkwan found you almost hiding from staff and told you about the meeting

● he laughed

● “i can’t believe the roles switched, you know we have to be at this meeting y/n”

● and it ticked you off

● so bad

● “WHAT’S THE POINT ANYWAY?”

● cue seungkwan was shocked

● you had yelled at him before (many many times) but why did this feel different somehow?

● you cut him off before he could align two words (that scared him a little) and yelled again

● he did think it was odd

● his (nth) mistake was to believe you needed some time off because you were just in a bad mood

● “just release a statement saying we broke off the engagement”

● hmm, big mistake part 876

● because when seungkwan came back from the meeting, he couldn’t find you

● was very calm about it until he found out your room was empty

● you were gone gone and you would not be coming back

● you told your family you were only here for a few days, not telling them the truth and hoping seungkwan would release that damn statement so you could be free and start to move on

● you forgot your phone still had notifications on for Breaking News from the palace (which everyone in the kingdom was supposed to have on)

● after two days or so, you got a notification from seungkwan’s kingdom (finally reminding you it was still on)

● the notification barely let you know what it was about and it was about your so called engagement to the prince

● you swiped it off your screen

● you didn’t get out of the palace for days

● your parents didn’t mention the news because they thought it was just a way to publicly and officially announce the engagement

● because to them it was official the minute they sent you to his kingdom

● on seungkwan’s end

● haha

● boy

● after 5 days he still thought you were gonna come back

● most of his prince friends told him (seungcheol first)

● tried to break it down to him gently on the 3rd day but prince seungkwan wouldn’t listen

● “it’s been 5 days, i don’t think she’s gonna call”

● “it’s y/n, she always has something to say about what i do”

● so they shrugged it off

● you opened the breaking news article on the 7th day after its release

● (you got seungkwan anxious now)

● you rolled your eyes because why the hell did he go and announce it himself publicly when he could have gotten the press to release a handwritten royal announcement

● but that’s seungkwan we’re talking about

● and the video was just seungkwan in the press conference room, with no reporters in front of him

● so ?????

● but boom

● there it is

● a proposal video

● after literally 5 seconds into the video the prince is on one knee and officially asks for your hand in marriage, because he’ll be damned if you’re not the person who completes him and the only person he’d cave in for

● and the entire kingdom is holding their breath for the announce of your official engagement announcement

● after a week prince seungkwan does think he messed up bad

● so when you showed up two days later, he felt so confused and relieved at the same time

● worst feeling ever

● “i hate you so much i hope you know that”

● “i kinda hate me too”

● “you sabotaged days of hard work and probably hurt feelings”

● “yeah that was childish”

● “i know it was an arranged marriage but you hurt my feelings”

● “i’m so sorry y/n”

● “you actually recorded a proposal video to release it as breaking news”

● “ah, that was a bit much, wasn’t it?”

● “i can’t believe i’m here to say yes”

● “yeah i- wAIT WHAT”

● your wedding was set for the year of prince seungkwan’s 25th birthday

● you had the wedding organizers get back the ideas for the engagement party and chose themes that fit the two of you better

● the two of you didn’t try for children until it felt necessary

● although seungkwan loved children, he didn’t think he was ready for such responsibilities

● so you only did it to have an heir

● it took so little time for the two of you to fall in love with the little princess you had created that you even forgot having children was never part of your plan

● you also got to find out that prince seungkwan wasn’t just whipped for you, but also for his little girl

● but that’s okay because so were you

● (she was spoiled)

seungcheol ║ jeonghan ║ joshua ║ junhui ║ soonyoung ║ wonwoo ║ jihoon ║ seokmin ║ mingyu ║ minghao ║ seungkwan ║ vernon ║ chan

[natashaashleymarvelromanoff]

You found me

 this is my Fix-it fic for endgame! Spoilers ahead.

the ending broke my heart so i had to write my own version. please be kind i haven't written in over a year so it may be messy but the love for my ship is still there ❤

They’d finally won. For the final time they had won.

“okay so, take the stones back to their original timelines and places Steve. They need to go back exactly where we found them.” Bruce explained to Steve. Each stone had to go to the exact point where they were taken or the timeline they had created would go to shit.

Getting ready to jump Steve smiled at Bruce’s concern and replied.

“ Don't worry Bruce I've got it.” Steve shut the briefcase and locked it, ready to go.

“Are you sure you don't want me to go with you cap?” Sam approached the blonde. He’d just got back. He didn't want to leave his friends again.

Patting Sam on the shoulder, Steve turned to Sam. “No its okay. I can do this, besides i don't think we'd have enough particles to take both of us back. I'm gonna be fine.” reassured Steve. He really was gonna be fine. He will be at least.

“Okay, okay, just be careful.” Defeated by the captain, he obliged. Though Sam still worried about his friend. Steve pulled him in for a hug and then they let go. Steve was ready to carry out his mission. He turned around to see his oldest friend .

“Be careful out there punk.” Bucky said. Steve signed and hugged Bucky. It was good to have them back.

“Don't worry buck. I'm gonna be just fine.” They both pulled away and smiled at each other.

Pulling away from his friend Steve stepped onto the platform of the time machine and locked out to his friends. Banners voice calling out.

5

He activated his helmet.

4

He breathed deep.

3

And back out.

2

Squeezed his eyes shut.

1

All of a sudden steve was gone. Right in front of their eyes, the two men released a little breath they were holding.

“Okay and bringing him back in”

5

4

3

2

1

Bruce flicks the switch.

Nothing.

Sam's brows furrow. The doctor is confused too, but for some reason Bucky is oddly calm.

“Where is he?” Sams asks worried

“I - I- i don't know he should be here?” Bruce stammers, flicking more switches to try and get Steve back, maybe he pressed the wrong one? Sam goes over to help but they can’t figure out what wrong.

It's almost like the hairs on the back of Bucky's neck stick up. He can feel something's different. Turning away from the bird and doc, Bucky looks into the distance to see two figures sitting together on the bench by the lake.

He breathes deeply while looking at the couple.

Bucky can hear Sam and Bruce chattering in the background about trying to bring Steve back. But he knows that it’s not going to happen. Not now.

“Guys” he calls. they both turn to him, and follow his line of sight. When they do they see two people sat down near the water. Sam is confused as he looks at bucky.

“Go.” The brunette waits behind as Sam makes his way toward the people.

-----------------------

Vormier.

He’ll never get used to that.

Jumping out from his time jump, Steve catches his breath again.

The darkness of this world consumes him and he settles his eyes upon the hill that awaits him.

Steve looks around as he treks the mountain. Knowing what happened here Steve can't even find one beautiful thing about this place. Not the eclipsing sun, not the two towers at the top. Nothing. He didn't want to be here one more second than he had too. He just wanted to return the stone then leave.

As he approached the top a figure emerged from the shadows. Almost Startling him.

“I don't mean any harm, i just want to return this.”

From the briefcase he pulled the stone out. Bright orange. And held it out to the figure in front of him ready to return it.

“It's been a long time captain.” A rough voice emerged from the blackness.

Steve’s eyes widened, He knew that voice, suddenly Steve became defensive and pulled the stone back towards him. Red skull.

The red face came out of the black but it held no danger. Steve could see it didn’t, he could tell. The Red skulled man floated over to Steve and took the stone from him, returning it back to the sky. Ready for the next sacrifice to be made for the stone to be used once more.

As he did, the flying mass of darkness turned to him again and said

“I believe there is someone waiting for you captain.” Red skull moved to the side, allowing Steve to pass onto the ledge.

No, it couldn't be? He locked forward in shock, this couldn’t be real, life isn’t that generous.

“Natasha?” He spoke in a whisper, almost too low for anyone to hear but she did. Stood in front of him was Natasha. His Natasha! She was alive?

The redhead turned at the sound of her name, her braid whipping around she turned that fast.

Green met blue over the few meters they were apart.

“Steve?” Natasha trembled, she's been up there for hours, she’d almost given up hope. She’s tried to return to the present but it wouldn’t let her, she figured the wristband was fried or the particles weren’t working or the machine back home wasn’t running.

“Oh my god” the soldier breathed, he dropped the briefcase and ran to her as she did the same. They met In the middle, their bodies slamming against each other from the impact. Their arms wrapping around each other tightly not wanting to let go. Eyes filled with tears on both parts, both crying for the person they thought they would never see again.

“Natasha, i thought id lost you.” he buried his face into her neck, hot breath heated her skin every time he panted, but she couldn't complain. Here in her arms was Steve. The man she lo- her friend.

“How? I thought you were dead, Clint said you sacrificed yourself?” They both pulled back but didn't let go of each other. They probably never would again.

“I did. I'm sure i did. I'm not supposed to be here, what happened, did you win?” She asked hurriedly, she was just as confused as him. Did her being alive mean they didn’t get the stone? She didn’t have a clue what was going on or what happened.

“Yeah we won. We got them back.” he smiled at her when he said it. She let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding. Then she smiled.

“We won.” The redhead laughed. After 5 years, they did it.

“I'm still confused though, how can i be back? I shouldn't have been able to come back, it’s undo-able.”

Suddenly their daze was interrupted by the same back mass as before.

“Time has been changed forever. You changed the course of history when you took the stones. You finished your mission which is why your bringing the stones back. You finished your mission, you change history. Whatever you did to fix what was wrong fixed everything.

Not only what happened in the future but also what happened here. You shouldn't be alive but you are thanks to the stones.” He explained to Natasha.

The stones brought her back. When they fixed the future. When Bruce used the iron gauntlet , he brought everyone back including her. A 1 in a million chance.

“You my dear are indeed a miracle of the stones. You are a precious anomaly, a loophole. You should spend the rest of your life in gratefulness as the stones have given you another chance at life.”

Then he was gone.

A miracle? No. Natasha thought.she looked at Steve her mouth parted in shock. This was all too much.

“Tasha? Are you okay?” Steve asked concerned, he cupped Natasha cheek, gently pulling her face towards his to look at her. Her eyes showed confusion and shock.

“Im fine. I'm more than fine.” She told him and he pulled her into another hug.

“I've got one more stone to take back. The space stone. You need to come with me.”

“I'd be more than happy to come with you, please for the love of the stones get me of this planet.”

Steve smiles at her response, giving her the tile code and co-ordinates she punched them in her suit ready to go, now the machine back home was working again she could travel. Steve picks up his briefcase with the last infinity stone inside and they jump. Together.

1970

Its loud and busy with the sound of soldiers.

When they land they both wince at the surge of light since Vormier was so dark. They have to be careful. The two people look around to find themselves in a closet of some kind?

Steve turns to Natasha whilst retracting his quantum suit.

“Nat stay here. I need to grab a uniform before anyone sees us, they were about to catch us last time i was here and they're probably still looking, if we got the time right.”

She tightly nods at him, agreeing stay here, normally she would have a snarky remark or refused but not this time. Steve carries on.

“I won't be long.”

“Okay, be careful.” She watches as he leaves the room, and waits for him to get back to her.

He manages to dodge the people after him and put the stone back where it was down stairs successfully, all he had to do now was get back to Natasha.

Carefully walking through the hallways trying to avoid people he stops all of a sudden. It’s an office.

Margaret carter.

Peggy.

he stares at the words on the door, one last time couldn’t hurt? Steve pushes the door to enter.

There in her office is the woman herself. Peggy carter.

The brunettes head turns at the sound of her office being entered but she does as double take when she sees who is there.

“Steve?” Her eyes glazed and wide. This can’t be real? He’s been gone for over 20 years? How?

“Peggy.” He smiles at her.

“I don't understand, what- how?” She stammers as she walks towards him, eventually putting her hand on his face to check he’s real.

Steve lets out a breath. And lowers his eyes.

“Peggy, it’s hard to understand, i can't tell you a lot but you do deserve the truth. i'm from the future, i'm not the Steve you remember. We had a mission, i had a mission and being here is part of completing it.”

“The future?” She gasps. Her Steve from the future? It’s not possible… could it be?

The brunette is interrupted by her office door swinging open, and a red head making her way inside.

“they found me, i had to knock them out but it won't be long before there looking for me.” She says as she enters, checking no one is following her. She hurries over to Steve and grabs his arm in urgency, which doesn't go unnoticed by Peggy.

But Peggy just smiles.

Natasha freezes when she realises they are not alone, she looks at the brunette, instantly recognising her as Peggy carter.

Still smiling Peggy offers her hand out towards the other woman.

“Peggy carter.” Natasha is amazes. She truly is, it was an honour to meet her. Natasha meets her band in the middle to shake it.

“Natasha, i have to say, its an honour to meet you agent carter.” She offers back her name in respect. Natasha almost feels like trembling, she never thought she’s ever meet her and yet hear she is.

Peggy's lips are still smiling as she meets Natasha, Peggy new she liked her instantly. There’s something about Natasha that She can see why Steve likes her.

“Believe me, its an honour to meet you Natasha.” Peggy returns.

For a second Natasha is confused, why is Peggy honoured to meet her? Her head tilts slightly to the side as she wonders.

“Its an honour to meet the person Steve loves. He deserves love more than anyone and im glad he found it with you and moved on. I really am.”

The blonde and redhead realise Peggy thinks their together but before anybody can explain, soldiers are bursting their way into the room. Immediately asking agent carter for her assistance in finding the intruders. Natasha and Steve quickly hide behind the bookshelf in her office, tightly hugged together to hide themselves completely. Peggy stands tall as she’s told of the intruders and says she’ll be there soon.

the agents leave the room and Peggy motions for them to come out again now it’s safe. the soldier and spy come out from the bookshelf and continue their talk with Peggy.

“I need to go now, but I’m happy that your happy Steve. And I hope you two can find the life you always wanted, you both deserve it I’m sure. I mean it Steve. I'm so happy happy for you.”

She kisses him on the cheek and leaves the room going after the agents. Both Steve and Natasha watch as she leaves, Natasha watching in adoration and Steve watching in nervousness.

Natasha starts to set up her return jump when Steve stops her. Placing his hand on hers, and looking into her green eyes.

“stay.”

That’s not what she was expecting. “what do you mean?” The redhead was confused her brows knitting together.

“I'm an idiot. A big one. I've been telling people they need to move on but i couldn't even do that myself. I was so stuck in the past and stuck on Peggy that i couldn't see what was right in front of me. The person who's been there for me ever since we first met. Since New York, Hydra, the accords, and Thanos. The person i spent 2 years on the run with.”

He breathes deep as he looks into her eyes, his next words making his stomach shiver in anticipation.

“Natasha. I love you. I do. I love you so much. And i know what i'm about to ask isn't easy. You have a family back home. They all think your gone but you could see them again. But i need to ask you.”

She takes in a breath, this was all too much, he loves her? But see barely has chance to say it back when the soldier spoke again.

“Stay here with me?”

Stay? Could she do that? All she knew was that wherever Steve was, was where she wanted to be.

“Stay here with you? In the past?”

“Yes. we have a chance to have a life here. To get a life” he chuckles to himself slightly, remembering their conversation.

“I know its a lot to ask but i love you. And there's no other way id want to spend the rest of my life.”

That’s all she needed to hear.

“Yes.” She smiles at him, pulling on each other They meet in the middle for a hug and cry with each other softly.

“Id follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me too.” She says to him, she pulls back slightly from their hug, she really would follow him. Smiling at her words, Steve leans down to catch her lips into a kiss.

----------------------------

2023

One shaky step at a time, Sam slowly makes his way towards the 2 people sat on the bench.

He knew who they were but didn’t want to admit it to himself. His thought was confirmed when he got closer

Steve.

And Natasha? No it couldn’t be? The lady has aged but he still knew her face, how was that possible? She was dead?

“Steve? Tasha? What is going on?” Sam stammered his question.

Sam is entirely shocked of course, seeing his two best friends again after 5 years but now seeing them old? And Natasha Alive?

Sams asks “what happened”

The older couple looks at one another unsure how much they should say.

“We wanted to stay.” Steve offers his reason. But Sam can’t be angry. How could he be?

“I woke up on Vormier, it was so dark and I was alone, but then Steve found me and we decided to stay in the past.”

Sam asks about what happened Natasha says that she woke up on Vormier, Steve found her and they stayed in the past, together. Sam notices they are wearing wedding bands. And smiles in happiness that they finally end up together.

“We stayed. But i thought you might need this.” He pulls out his shield,

“Try it on” Natasha says.

Sam pulls it up and straps his arms into the shield. It feels good he thinks.

“Looks good on you” the woman says. And she smirks, the same smirk Sam remembers.

Sam pats his hand on Steve's hand, thanking him. But there's a glint in his eye. Steve's hand. Hes wearing a ring. But so is Natasha. He laughs to himself. Finally, he thinks.

Sam turns towards the two of them and asks.

“So you gonna tell me about how you two ended up together then?”

They both smirk and say no.

-----------------------------

It’s a slow melody, playing from one of the record players, it's one of Steve's favourites.

Slowly swaying in the living room are two people, a soldier and a spy.

Natasha and Steve.

It's the middle of the night. The both of them engulfed in each others arms as they sway, Natasha's head laid on Steve's chest, as he rests his on top of hers. It's a beautiful night, the stars stinging in the sky and the weather warm enough to enjoy and they cant help but get lost into each other.

all of a sudden a loud noise breaks the silence.

they both whip their heads at the noise and stop dancing but before Steve can go to check Natasha says she will, she never gets tired of checking on him and she never will. She enters the upstairs room across from theirs to find her baby James crying in his crib.

Her eyes soften when she sees her son with tears In his eyes.

“Oh James, what the matter sweetie?”

She gently picks him up in her arms, supporting his head and soothes him. Rocking his side to side, he was only a month old. Soon enough thanks to the comfort of his mother's arms he stops crying, definitely a mummy's boy, she thinks.

Steve stands in the doorway watching his wife and son and then joins them in the room, quietly walking his way in, he stops next to Natasha and wraps his arms around her waist as she holds their son.

Their little miracle. She calls him. She thanks the stones for that. Whatever they did to bring her back, it worked. A little too good. Because she was never supposed to have this, her own little family.

She sacrificed herself and never expected to come back from that. But she did, and now she had the most amazing things she could have ever had in life, Steve and their son, James. God she's never forget the moment she realised she was pregnant. It was a miracle. Their miracle.

Just as James drifts of again into blissful sleep, Natasha lifts her head to look at Steve, and smiles at him. He leans in to kiss her, but she's just as eager so they meet in the middle, their kiss is so soft, sometimes they could just drown in each other. They pull apart and lean their foreheads against each other.

“i'm glad i found you.” He says to her.

“I don't just mean on Vormier, i mean when we met. I was in the ice for 65 years, i didn't think had anything left, and them i met you and I guess It was just meant to be.”

Her eyes tear up as he speaks sweet words. Rocking their son in her arms she openly smiles at him, placing their son in his bed, she then wraps her arms around his neck. Pulling him down to her.

“I'm glad i found you too. Your my family Steve. You've given me something that no one else could. I love you so much.”

She leans up to kiss him again. Both getting lost in their little moment of happiness.

They made the right call. And neither of them regretted it for a single second.

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2014

The “least good” of the three best years of the 2010s. This is still a top 12. Because I can, and I will.

I know. People also call it a bad year. And I think they’re wrong.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

New job, which is the one I still have currently. Also, I discovered Doctor Who in December 2013 and you know exactly what happened in 2014 because I dived head first into the extended universe as soon as I finished New Who and I’ve never really recovered since then. The end of the year was highly stressful, with my cat being sick, my father needing a very dangerous surgical intervention, and me being so stressed out I was basically unable to sleep for days. Might explain why there’s a lot of cute songs on this list, I needed cute stuff.

That year wasn’t very generous in good albums from bands I liked. Epica released The Quantum Enigma, and it was okay, Within Temptation had Hydra, and it was also okay, and Coldplay had the very underrated (in my opinion at least) Ghost Stories, a mostly melancholic album full of bittersweet post-breakup songs. So I’m left with no choice but to declare The Birthday Massacre’s album Superstition my album of the year for 2014. They had stayed at a consistent level since Pins And Needles so I wasn’t expecting anything better from them, but boy do they delivered. Here is Divide, it’s about a subterranean world and it might be a metaphor but as you know I’m very literal-minded! Here’s Beyond, about a lady falling in love with a strange woman who might be some sort of fae or supernatural entity!! I love most of the album and there’s only one subpar song on it. I know they’ll never get a crossover hit but they’d deserve it so much. Look at the state of the world. We’re so ready for a new mainstream wave of energetic, angsty, weird music. Just bring it on.

There’s only one non-elligible song that truely pisses me off this time, and it’s Traffic Girl by Indochine, another single from their Black City Parade album. It’s about a policewoman in North Korea who has to wave and smile at non existant traffic all day long and the song presents her as a modern hero. It’s one of my favorite songs on the album and I’m so mad it didn’t make the French year-end list.

Here’s a list of honorable menti-holy shit why is this list so long

Albatraoz (AronChupa) - Riiiiiight at the limit between catchy and annoying. But it’s blissfully short.

Chandelier (Sia) - I would like this more if it wasn’t that painful to listen to, I swear.

Magic in the Air (Magic System) - Insert my usual comment about these guys and their fun & happy songs.

Un Jour Au Mauvais Endroit (Calogero) - Great music, good lyrics. It’s still Calogero and I tend to dislike how overdramatic he usually is. Not enough to ruin that one song for me though.

Je Garde le Sourire (Black M) - This isn’t the last time he’s gonna appear in this post.

Prayer In C (Lilly Wood & The Prick) - A bit repetitive but in a good way.

Budapest (Georges Ezra) - A bit repetitive but in a good way 2, the return but in a completely different genre.

The Monster (Eminem & Rihanna) - We’ve now entered the songs which I considered putting on the list, and yeah, there’s a lot of them even if this is a top 12. “Bad year for pop music”. Yeah. Right.

Addicted To You (Avicii) - This is good, and the music video is great, and I want to stop feeling emotional about Avicii. Please.

Don’t Tell Em (Jeremih) - I. Uh. What the f█ck. Okay. There’s no way I can justify this. I simply adore this beat even if the lyrics are really, really bad. It’s just visually stunning and I really wish the song itself was better.

Photomaton (Jabberwocky) - I don’t think this would have charted without the success of Kavinsky the previous year. But still. Wonderful stuff. Well deserved.

Madame Pavoshko (Black M) - This was on the first version of the list but in the end I really had no room left for it. It’s a song about a guy telling his old teacher he made it in life despite the fact she labelled him a hopeless case at school. With such a premise, it could be an angry song, but no, it’s upbeat, sarcastic and fun. Wonderful stuff.

Le Graal (Kyo) - Kyo? Wait, you mean the embarrassing emo guys from my 2002 and 2003 lists? These guys?? They were back on the charts after ten years?? And suddenly everyone thought it was cool to like them again?? Including me??? Sounds fake but okay

Turn Down For What (DJ Snake) - The last cut. Stim music at its finest, sharp, aggressive and colorful. Everything I ever wanted from a hit song.

Well, that was long. Here’s the actual list.

12 - Wake Me Up (Avicii)

US: #22 / FR: Not on the list

“So wake me up when it’s all over, when I’m wiser and I’m older” should make no sense. You can’t get wiser if you’re asleep. At least that’s what I would probably say if I didn’t feel this. There’s a lot of times in my life I wished I could be switched off and woken up a couple of years later and be like “hello I’m back, I feel better now, what did I miss”. I totally get it.

The only reason this song is so low on the list is the drop. I don’t like it very much. The rest is damn good.

11 - Boom Clap (Charlie XCX)

US: #34 / FR: #84

Boom! Boom! Boom! CLAP. That song got me after its first seconds. Love its atmosphere, very cotton candy-like, very fluffy, with a sharp voice. Doesn’t work well if you listen to it on a loop, though, and that’s the only negative thing I can say against it.

10 - Stay The Night (Zedd)

US: #94 / FR: Not on the list

This on the other hand works very well on repeat and that drop is golden. I’m afraid I don’t have anything very interesting to say about it. It stayed on my playlist from 2014 to summer 2019, though, so that’s an impressive feat.

9 - Rather Be (Clean Bandit)

US: #41 / FR: #18

Several critics I follow have commented this song is 1) mostly meaningless 2) too perfect to say anything about it and I agree. It’s also too perfect to be really passionate about it, unfortunately, but still, very, very good stuff.

8 - Magic (Coldplay)

US: Not on the list / FR: #66

You already know I don’t really like lowkey emotional songs and I also hate the first act of Coldplay’s career, so why on earth did I like Ghost Stories so much and why is Magic making me feel so emotional, you ask? Well it’s because the music itself isn’t bland. It’s lowkey but rich, dense and colourful, and it works much better than whatever they were doing before with their slow boring songs. Also, I really struggle with dramatic vocal performances on quiet emotional songs (which is why I tend to have issues with Adele’s voice on some of her stuff), and here the balance is just ideal. Soft colors, soft textures, soft voice, this is like a colorful plushie you’ve lost for years and just found in the attic and it brings you to tears. I adore it.

Also the part of the lyrics that goes “And if you were to ask me / After all that we've been through / Still believe in magic? / Oh yes I do”, that makes me want to hug someone and never let go.

7 - Waves (Mr Probz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #15

This is completely hypnotic. It’s perfect to drive, to walk, to draw. to sit on a bench and look at the trees. It’s just wave after wave of pastel colors with a good beat and it washes away your anxiety slowly but surely. Therapeutic and beautiful without ever feeling bland. Wonderful stuff.

6 - Uptown Funk (Bruno Mars & Mark Ronson)

US: Not on the list (#1 on the 2015 year-end list) / FR: #3

Everyone loved it and I wasn’t an exception. You all know it and I’ve got nothing new or interesting to say about it. A ton of fun. Love the lyrics.

5 - Sur Ma Route (Black M)

US: Not on the list / FR: #7

If you’re wondering what’s going on in this picture, the guy is parodying a lot of famous movies or series in the music video. It’s a simple but super energetic song about trying to trace your own road in life and all the problems you encounter and how you can’t always count on people you thought were your friends. It’s very propulsive and motivating and it’s my favorite song from that guy even though he made a lot of good songs. Just great stuff. Check it out if you’ve never heard it.

Speaking of being on your own...

4 - Ain’t It Fun (Paramore)

US: #47 / FR: Not on the list

I miss hearing that kind of thing on the radio and yes, I’m aware that makes me sound like an old idiot. Oh how I wish this had been released in 2010 when I just started to work, that would have been perfect. I know the song is supposed to be sarcastic with the whole “ain’t it fun being on your own” angle, but yeah, when your life wasn’t great before, it’s actually liberating to “live in the real world”, even if it sucks at times, even if it’s difficult and you have responsibilities and all.

Also the music video is super cute. Love it.

3 - Pompeii (Bastille)

US: #12 / FR: Not on the list

I’m honestly surprised this is only #3 on this list considering how much I loved this one back when it came out, and don’t get me wrong, it’s still a song I love to this day, just... a bit less. Maybe it’s because of overplay? I’m not exactly sure considering #1 was also played very often and I never ever got tired of it. And it’s well written, and it’s not every day that you hear a song about two dead people talking about the wrath of the gods after their city was engulfed in ash.

So yeah. Not sure what happened there. I hope this band is eventually gonna have another hit like this one. Bastille, more of Pompeii and less of Happier, please.

2 - Dangerous (David Guetta)

US: Not on the list / FR: #8

A few months ago I heard Memories by Maroon 5 and I was instantly filled with a truely disproportionate amount of rage for such a bland pop song. See, I love it when music uses well-known classical tunes and completely changes their context and tone, but Memories doesn’t do any of that, it’s just the Pachelbel canon with some bad lyrics on top. So yeah, it’s a pet peeve.

Dangerous, on the other hand, is a song mixing a small loop of Toccata & Fugue in D minor and it basically uses it as an ominous pseudo-police siren in a song about illegally cruising a car with your possibly criminal, possibly gangster crush and not knowing if you’re scared, in love or feeling the thrill of adventure, or all of that at once. I. Love this damn song.

When the only bad thing I have to say about a song talking about driving at night way too fast is “eh this isn’t as good as Kavinsky”, you know you’ve found gold.

1 - A Sky Full of Stars (Coldplay & Avicii)

US: #51 / FR: #9

As much as I love Dangerous, there wasn’t any doubt about what would top this list. I’ve spent about ten lists explaining how my appreciation of Coldplay kept growing over time and four lists explaining how much I loved Avicii, and this song is the best of both worlds. The first time I heard it, I was driving and, no joke, I was so overwhelmed I had to park my car to properly concentrate on the song.

One day I will have to paint this song to explain how fantastic it looks and I’d have to use purple, china blue and pink watercolor inks and basically paint a psychedelic night sky full of little lights and yeah, this is basically another of these songs that are deeply satisfying on a synesthetic level, and it joins this very select club with the blue song called “Blue”, the song full of bright flashes called “Lights” and the song that looks like gentle pulsing lights called “Fireflies”. I’m trying (and failing) to learn how to play it on the piano. I know the chords, and I suck, but I’m very determined.

On top of that deeply satisfying visual, there’s the soft vocals so specific of the Ghost Stories album, and the very simple, very cute lyrics, and I simply hear “'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars, I'm gonna give you my heart” and I die instantly. This is high quality musical fluff. Come to think of it, this list is full of it, and this is the Ultimate Fluffy Song. One fluff to rule them all.

Sidenote, considering I fell into the DW audios right when this song came out, that’s one of my theme songs for Eight and Charley. Because of course it is.

Next up: The beginning of a progressive drop in quality but you wouldn’t be able to tell considering how long this list of honorable mentions is

[sunnycyrus]

‘Cause I’m Just a Sucker for Anything that You Do

title from heartbreak girl by 5 seconds of summer

Preview:  “The same story has been told ever since Cyrus decided to open up to TJ about this crush of his. Cyrus will start by recounting the butterflies he had felt in his stomach that week, and then his ranting will shift to his unrequited feelings.        And every time, TJ wants to scream, “I’m right here! Give me a chance!” But he never does.” 

Summary: A somewhat au in which TJ think Cyrus has a crush on someone else aka these two being oblivious as hell

read it on ao3   

     TJ’s milkshake was starting to taste pretty awful, but maybe it was just his mood that had been spoiled. Basketball practice had been canceled today, so he had invited Cyrus to go to The Spoon with him after school. TJ had been itching to spend time with the other boy, but now he wished he had just gone home and started his science homework. 

     TJ looked down to check his phone- ten minutes. For an entire ten minutes now Cyrus has been ranting. Usually, TJ loved to listen as Cyrus goes off on a tangent about who knows what, he always finds it adorable and is perfectly content to just rest his head on his fist and follow along. 

     Right now? TJ wishes he had the heart to interrupt the boy he was so smitten with and change the subject. But he didn’t, so for the last ten minutes Thelonious Jagger Kippen has been hopelessly listening as Cyrus staggered on about his crush- his crush who he refused to name. Despite this, TJ knew who he was talking about, or at least he was pretty sure he knew. Of course he did- Cyrus had never been exactly subtle with his too-long glances and fond smiles. Yes, TJ knew Cyrus was talking about Jonah Beck, but he’d never tell him that. 

      Jonah Beck. Don’t get him wrong, TJ liked Jonah, he was nothing but nice- Jonah wasn’t someone you could really hate. No, TJ liked Jonah, he just didn’t like the fact that Cyrus pined after him with tunnel-vision. Though, in Cyrus’ defense, TJ did the exact same thing with his relentless feelings towards the boy who was sitting in front of him right now eating baby taters while still talking at a speed of 40 miles per hour. 

     “-and it’s like, I’ve become really good friends with this person- like best friends, but I know that’s all we’re ever going to be,” Cyrus stops for a moment, probably his first pause within these ten minutes, causing TJ to raise his eyebrows is acknowledgment, “And I’m okay with that,” he stops again, this time to release a frustrated sigh, “I just don’t know how to move on.” 

     TJ could almost laugh at the irony. 

     It’s been almost a year since TJ first met Cyrus in seventh grade. It’s been almost a year that he’s been festering these feelings for him. And it’s been almost a year since TJ realized that it’s abundantly clear that Cyrus doesn’t return his feelings. 

     Because of Jonah Beck. 

     It has been awhile since TJ began to notice how Cyrus acted around Jonah. He was always smiles and was always devoted to putting a smile on Jonah’s face as well. No, TJ wasn’t completely sure he was right when it comes to Cyrus’s feeling for Jonah, but he’d bet his weekly wage at the gym that he was. 

     The same story has been told ever since Cyrus decided to open up to TJ about this crush of his. Cyrus will start by recounting the butterflies he had felt in his stomach that week, and then his ranting will shift to his unrequited feelings. 

      And every time, TJ wants to scream, “I’m right here! Give me a chance!” But he never does. 

     For one, he’s glad Cyrus is opening up to him. It makes a corner of his heart giddy that he and Cyrus have become close enough that they can talk about things like this, even despite the knowledge of how undeniably friendzoned this makes him. For another, TJ never wants to risk their friendship like that. It’s clear that Cyrus’ heart is currently in the unwanting hands of another- TJ dispelling his own feelings would surely end in nothing but fire. 

     “What about you Teej?” Cyrus’ questioning breaks TJ from his spiraling train of thought. “Are you crushing on anyone?” 

     “No,” he lies, but TJ knows his face is betraying him. 

      Cyrus’ face breaks out in a grin that looks a little to bright, but TJ is probably reading into things too much. “You are! You totally are!” 

     Not for the first time today, TJ is met with the overwhelming urge to burst out with, “Yeah! You!” But he doesn’t, he can’t, he won’t . At the end of the day, he knows this is as far as he’s going to get. He can toy with the idea of a relationship in his mind, heck he can tell himself that this right now is a date. But it never will be. 

     “C’mon Teej! You can tell me!” 

     No I can’t. Debating his current options, TJ decides to avoid this conversation altogether. He doesn’t trust himself to not let everything blow up in his face. “Hey, I gotta get home, its kinda late,” TJ moves to stand up, missing how Cyrus’ face falls. 

     “TJ it’s not even four o’clock,” Cyrus stands up as well, following after TJ as he pushes past a waiter to get to the door. 

     “I just have stuff to do, see you later,” the blonde boy quickens his pace. 

     “Wha- TJ! Did I say something?” Cyrus switches to a jog, trying to get ahead, “If you don’t want to talk about your crush- I didn’t mean to push you,” Finally, he reaches TJ, bringing them both to a halt but standing in front of the other boy. “We don’t have to talk about that.” 

     TJ scoffs, “Except we kinda do, don’t we? For the past month that’s all you can seem to talk about,” Cyrus takes a step back, “Thanks for opening up to me- but newsflash! I don’t want to hear about your stupid crush on Jonah Beck!” TJ pushes past Cyrus to continue walking down the road, but it doesn’t take long for Cyrus to fall back in step beside him. 

     “Jonah? What makes you think I have a crush on Jonah?” 

     This makes TJ falter slightly, but doesn’t stop him completely. “Oh maybe the everything about how you look at him? Have you seen yourself?” TJ laughs but it lacks any humor- he wasn’t about to play this game. 

     Cyrus stops walking, “TJ I don’t like Jonah,” Cyrus states in a hard tone, this time it’s enough to make TJ halt his movements. There’s a pause, there’s no breeze in the air as silence fills the street. TJ swears the temperature dropped about ten degrees. Cyrus, standing a little behind TJ, is holding his breath- contemplating while his fingers anxiously tap against his leg. TJ, facing the street beyond, waits with a tired expression. Cyrus exhales, “I like you.”

     Suddenly everything is moving too fast, but not at all at the same time. TJ feels the air leave his body. I’m not playing this game. I’m not playing this game. But then Cyrus is there, still standing a couple feet behind him, holding his breath once more, and he thinks- maybe this is real. Maybe his current lightheadedness isn’t a dream. Maybe right behind him Cyrus is going out of his mind as he waits for him to say something. Anything.

     So TJ looks back.

     “I like you TJ,” Cyrus repeats, meeting his friend’s gaze, “I really do and I’m sorry if that makes things awkward between us, but I can’t change how I feel,” and just like that, Cyrus’ dam breaks, “I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I’ve just been scared. This whole time at The Spoon? I’ve been talking about you. Not Jonah, not anyone else- but you. And... and I know nothing will come of this, heck I’ve been telling you that for a month, I can try to move on so we can just be friends but I’m still trying to figure out how to do that. If this is too weird for you, I get it. I know you’ll never feel the same-“ 

     “I do.” 

     The silence returns again for a few seconds, TJ is looking at the ground now, not quite believing that those two words actually just slipped from his mouth. 

     “You- you what?” Meanwhile, Cyrus can’t be sure if what he just heard was real or his ear just playing a nasty trick on him. 

     With a surge of confidence that he didn’t think he had in him, TJ’s dam breaks as well, “I like you a lot Cyrus,” a dopey smile breaks out on his face as he looks down at the ground, that’s just what his feelings for the other boy do to him. “I really, really do.”

     They both feel like they’re floating, and the silence falls over them one last time. This time though, it’s a warm silence. This time, they’re both looking at each other, letting out the breaths that they’ve been holding for who knows how long, and smiling.

     As they float back down to Earth, TJ reaches out for Cyrus’ hand, tightly grasping it and feeling as though he’d be content to never let go. They start walking back down the street and together they head back to The Spoon. This time, TJ knows his milkshake will taste good.

[popopretty]

Piko’s Spring Tour “Pathfinder” report

There are just so many things I want to write down for this live but I realized I would not be able to put everything into one post and I have also forgot some parts of it so please bear with my scattered memories.

I went to almost all the lives in this tour except for the one in Sendai. So it includes Nagoya, Osaka, Yokohama, Fukuoka and Tokyo. It is an amazing feeling following an artist on tour, like waking up in a different city everyday, meeting the fans you don’t usually meet but still being able to say “See you tmr”. For two weeks I was filled with Piko feels and I couldn’t really remember doing anything else.

KEEP READING - There is A LOT more under the cut lol

For most of the venues, there were like 150-200 people each. The final was in a bigger venue so there were more than that. There are girls, guys, couples, families, Japanese, foreigners, all kinds of people you can think of. And everyone is super nice and friendly. I still feel super awkward with my Japanese but people’s warmness there just calmed me a lot.

For the tour goods, there are T-shirts, mirrors, towels, mobile charger, tote bag and stuff from previous lives. If you buy one album, you will get a ticket to high touch with Piko at the end of the live. Plus there are chekis and if u are lucky enough you can get one with Piko’s sign.

My favorite thing from the goods this time must be the totebag. Its cheap and convenient since you can use it both as a handbag and a shoulder bag. The mobile battery is a new thing, which is a bit expensive imo but it works pretty well and has a super cute design so everything is forgiven xD I also bought 2 more CDs to get a high touch with him. I will write about it in more details at the later part.

Piko wears a different outfit every live. For the one in Nagoya, he wears the black outfit as in Black Swan cover, then in Osaka it was the white one as in Realizing. He is back to the black one in Yokohama and in Fukuoka is another white shirt with black gilet. He went with the Black Swan outfit for MOST of the final live lol. If you read my last posts, you have already known what else he was wearing xD

As for the setlist. The setlist is the same for all the small lives. Only the final is different so I’m gonna list out all the songs that he has sung in all the lives, not in the exact order.

- Realizing - This is the opening song for all lives.

- Loki - He sang this in all the small lives but not in the final.

- Ghost Rule

- HERO

- Tengaku - He sang this in the final only

- Re:Act

- Rolling Merry Go Round - this is also in the final only. I was so surprised when he sang it ;; this is also my first time listening to the song live ;;

- Dappo Rock

- Kachoufuei - This is one of my favourite songs in the new album

- Sakurane - This is also final exclusive! In one part he messed up the lyrics and he was super embarrassed so he laughed and asked the audiences to sing for him lol

- Black Swan - the most beautiful song live from the new album. Tbh I didn’t like the recording that much cuz the instruments are a bit too loud for me. But in the live it sounds much better and Piko’s voice just resonates around the live house and it is absolutely beautiful.

- Kokoronashi Acoustic - This is in the final only. He sang this song many times before but this time is totally different. He sang the first verse with no instruments at all and the acoustic guitar sound only came in in the second verse.

- Kasa - He sang it with a backup vocal of himself since it is a self-duet and many parts are overlapped. He sang the guy’s part with female backup in the first verse and then switched to the girl’s part with male backup for the second verse. In some lives, the fans even sang along with the backup parts which was really cute xDDD

After this part there is usually a small MC parts where Piko can talk and take a short rest before entering a non-stop session of about 4-5 rockish songs xD

- Murabito A - I love the song and the message in it. Whenever he gets to the “kamisama” I really just reached my hands towards him as if he is my God lol

- Futaiten Path Finder

- Lost One no Goukoku - I cant believe Piko covered it just recently! He sounds absolutely amazing in it. He didnt try to sing the original key (though I think he totally can). He chose a lower tone which showed off his beautiful, manly middle range and I love it so much. In the entry part of the song, he asked everyone to raise hand and shout out at the end of each drum session. He also asked the girls and the guys to do it separately. Even though there were only a few guys, they were really energetic, even when Piko asked them to say Yeah but in a girly cutesy voice. (They did it anyway lol!)

- Haikei Doppelganger - Of course this cannot be missed! This is like the most heated song in the live. Everyone was just headbanging like crazy. He just sounds absolutely powerful and precise for such a hard song that I lost my mind every time I heard it.

- Make Our Days - this is like a sequel to Make My Days. He mentioned that this is a song where he wants everyone to become one by doing the same moves. It is pretty similar to Make My Days and I dont know how to explain it in writing lol. So lets wait until some videos of it actually come out xDD He also asked all the band members to do that with different style every time and it was so funny (I will write more about it but probably in a separate post)

- Piscium - Last song before the encore. He spoke about the meaning of it, about how he started his career as a net artist, how it was in the beginning where they didnt really know what to do but try different things and see how it works. And it has been a long way with both joys and sadness and now he realizes that its not him walking alone, and that everything he does has the people who support him being a part of it. Thats why its not about him anymore but about all of us. Thats why Make My Day becomes Make Our Days, and Piscium lyrics also say “You made me. I made you”.

It was a beautiful moment…

Before the funny part kicked in xDDD

If you follow Piko, you might have already known that he has a corner called Pikone jinsei soudan in his namahousou, in which he puts on an okama personality and gives people advices on their problems xDD The live this time also has a session like that.

- Tokyo Shinobizaki

The first song of the encore is Tokyo Shinobizaki, which is an ending he sang for a short anime recently. It is a slow, jazzy and mature song, the type you may find in some old bars I guess. In the small lives, Piko would wear his live tour T-shirt, walk out and sing it with a stand mic. And he kept swaying and sliding his hands up and down the stand mic xD He has such lovely hands that my eyes kept fixating on them through out the song @@ In the final, when the music started playing, everyone was waiting for Piko to come out as usual, but it was just a band playing a super long intro. The live house for the final has a smaller stage on the right side that looks like a small balcony. And when the intro finally ended, Piko walked out from there, wearing a long red dress (the same one he wore in luz’s event not too long ago). He looked so pretty in that dress that everyone could have mistaken him as a girl without knowing him before >w<.

After he sang Tokyo shinobizaki, the jinsei soudan session started. Every live he would pick 2 letters from the fans and read it out loud (in okama voice) and then gave advices to them. All the band members also helped him out (and they also spoke in funny voices lol). There are many interesting questions but I think I will write about them in a separate post. I will just mention a few moments here. In the Osaka live, one fan was asking about how to deal with a rebellious son. And Piko was like “hmm I dont know. Should I ask my own parents??” and then he looked to the back of the stage, raised his hand and shouted out “Mama~~”. Turned out his mom was also there and all the lights of the stage started pointing to her xDD she then said that she actually didnt have to deal with Piko’s rebellious phase cuz he was a super good kid and didnt have that phase at all xDD In the final, Piko randomly picked a guy from the audience and asked him if he has any questions. The guy didnt have any, but he said that he brought his daughter to the live to see Piko. And Piko, still wearing that dress, rephrases his words like “Oh, so papa likes me, and papa wants his daughter to like me too so he brought her here?” He then asked to see the daughter. We all expected like a little grown up girl but turned out she was a super tiny cute little girl xDDD and Piko was like “ok lets get married” lol

- Yoshiwara Lament: Normally Pikone only sang Tokyo Shinobizaki but in the final she sang this one too xDD

After the Pikone part, Piko got into the backstage and changed again.

When he was inside the big screen started playing and they played a part of Black Swan MV which is coming soon.

And they also announced on the screen a two-man live with Pokota on November 4th this year!

2nd encore:

- Thanatos

- Hypnos: As some of you might know, Thanatos is the god of death in Greek mythology. Hypnos is his twin brother. Hypnos is a god of sleep. Piko said that the tour is like a dream. And when this tour end, everyone will wake up from their dream, go back to their everyday life. Thanatos is his first CD ever released, but Hypnos is the future. He will keep moving forward and come back, being a stronger and newer Piko. He asked for a title call and wrapped up the live with that song.

After the live came the high touch. I did it 3 times. One time was in the first live in Nagoya. I didnt buy the CDs but one friend of mine was kind enough go give me one of her tickets. The high touch is super short. You touch hand with him and say one sentence or two and thats it. I kept thinking what to say in Nagoya and ended up telling him “I LOVE YOU” in English lol. Second time was in Fukuoka. I did’t plan to buy a CD that day but that was 3rd day of the 3-day-in-a-row lives that Piko performed in (Tour in Yokohama, Chan-gero Sonic, tour in Fukuoka). He sounded a little bit tired at the beginning in Fukuoka but he tried his best and still sounded wonderful till the end of the live. So I bought a CD to high touch and tell him how well he has done. I also asked him not to try too hard. And all the time he just gently smiled back and said Thank you. The fragrance left from his hands still linger on mine even after I left ;;

Another interesting event did happen to me and my friends in the final. After the live I went for dinner with a few Pikoots and on our way to the station, we were supposed to pass by the livehouse again. A taxi was running from behind us so we decided to stop and walked to the side to let it pass. Then that taxi stopped in front of the livehouse and turned out it was Piko’s taxi. So we saw him getting in the taxi so we waved at him and said good job. Of course we all freaked out after that, like not believing what just happened. It was a miracle, really xD

So that’s the end of my tour dream. I tried to keep this report short but you can see how long it has become. I feel like its still not half enough to write down everything I want to write but I hope it helps you understand how wonderful a live it was. There were a lot of cameramen during the final so I am secretly hoping there will be a DVD!

[rewrite-the-wrongs]

introductions / howdy, pardner

My first short story was about a fishboy and his human best friend. They battled a mutant piranha (whose name I think may have been Mutant Piranha, such was the monumental daring of my creative endeavor) and his army, who were out to destroy a mountain that held a whole planet together. The boys won singlehandedly, because scale was apparently a bit of a mystery to me.

This was the second grade. My teacher--who held me every day as I cried for weeks, confused and miserable and stranded in the throes of my parents’ divorce--understood before I did that I create to a ploddingly slow and steady drumbeat. A sentence is always so much more in my head than I’m able to let out, at first; I have to pore over it again and again, fleshing and flourishing (and often correcting) it, the same way I often have to reread paragraphs or pages or whole books to truly capture their meaning. In a word processor, this back-and-forth is as easily said as it is done; on double-wide ruled paper with dashed-line handwriting guides, the task is magnitudes more time-consuming, especially for somebody as messy as I am. So, while nearly everybody else played at recess on the sandlot and the jungle gym around us, a select few stragglers laid our reading folders on our laps and finished our stories.

My villain, that dastardly Mutant Piranha, found himself in prison at the story’s close. Awaiting trial, I guess; I never ventured that far ahead, seeing the big fishy bastard for a coward. “When no one was looking, he stabbed himself.” That’s the last line, stuck in my memory, not for its own sake, but for my poor teacher’s horrified face as she read my final draft there on the playground.

A mom volunteered to type up the class’ stories and get them printed and bound. For years afterward I reread that collection, always proud to have written the second-longest piece therein. I felt the weight of the pages, inhaled the tiny but acrid breeze that came from rapidly leafing through them. Knew it was a whole smattering of worlds inside, that one of those worlds was wholly mine, and I had the power to show it to people however I wished. Yes, I thought, I want this.

*

I’ve been introduced to writing many times over, by many people. Don’t get me wrong--I nightowled the first several chapters to many half-baked novel concepts all through my youth. But teachers have a way of showing a thing to you from new angles.

The first person to impact me as such was a high school teacher who was essentially given carte-blanche to construct a creative writing workshop in the English curriculum. The first semester was structured--you practiced poems, short fiction, humor and essay writing, drama, the gamut. Every semester after, the carte-blanche was passed on: A single assignment due a week, each a single draft of a poem or a minimum of two pages’ worth of prose. Forty-five minutes a day to work, and of course free time at home. By the time I graduated, I’d finagled my schedule such that I was spending two periods a day in the computer lab, and several hours after school every day working the literary arts magazine before I went home to get the rest of my homework out of the way and write some more..

My next big influence came in the form of  a pair of writers who taught fiction at my university, a married couple. One had me print stories and literally, physically cut them up section-by-section as a method of reworking chronologies. Told me stories happened like engines or clocks or programs--pieces that meshed differently depending on how they were put together, rules that held each other in place. The other showed boundless confidence in me, listened happily to some older students who recommended I be brought on board for a national arts mag. They both encouraged me toward grad school, but toward the end of my junior year I began to stumble, and by senior year I was, to be frank, a drunken asshole. Time I could be bothered to set aside for writing began to dwindle. I limped through the editorship with the help of my extremely talented, utterly more-than-worthy successor--and come to think of it, I’ve never truly thanked her. Maybe I’ll send her that message, now that I’m feeling more myself.

*

On feeling more myself:

That drunken rage was brought on by a myriad list of factors, the primary ones being 1) I am the child of recovering alcoholics, and our inherited family trauma runs deep, 2) An assault that will likely be mentioned no further from hereon in, as I have reached a solid level of catharsis about it, 3) Some toxic-ass relationship issues, and 4) I was a massive egg and had no idea (or, really, I had some idea, just not the language or understanding or even the proper empathy to eloquently and effectively explore it).

I had a recent relapse with drinking, technically--a mimosa at Christmas breakfast at my partner’s parents’ home--but I’m not honestly sure I can call it a legitimate relapse. I’m not in any official self-help group, I’ve never engaged in the twelve steps or a professional rehabilitation. I had a very wonderful therapist for a few years but reached a point at which I could not pay her any longer and we parted ways--I miss her dearly, as she truly became my friend and confidante; she was the first person I came out to, and very well-equipped to handle it, lucky for me--but I’m still on behavioral medication. That tiny smidgen of alcohol pushed my antidepressants right out of my brain, and I became terribly anxious and angry and sad all at once, and briefly lashed out during a conversation with my partner behind closed doors. Not nearly the lashing out I’ve released in the now-distant past--more on that maybe-never, but who knows, as I am obviously a chronic over-sharer.

Frankly, I don’t deserve my partner. She endured my past abuses, told me to my face I had to be better, and found it in herself to wait for me to grow. She’s endlessly and tirelessly supportive of me. She sat with me to help me maintain the nerve to start this blog tonight. I came out to her as a trans woman just under a year ago, now, and I’m happier than ever, and we communicate better than ever. Our relationship is, bar-none, the healthiest and stablest and happiest I’ve ever been in.

So, naturally, I apologized fairly quickly at Christmas, and continuing where I’d left off at two and a half years, decided I’m still solid without booze.

If we’re all being honest, though (and I’m doing my best to be one hundred percent honest, here, though I will absolutely be censoring names because no shit), I still smoke way too much fuckin’ weed. High as balls, right now. 420 blaze it, all day erryday, bruh. That self-medicated ADHD life. I should be on Adderall and not antidepressants, probably, but it’s been a while since an appointment and psychiatrists are expensive, so I’m at where I’m at for now. Sativas help a lot. It helps with the dysphoria, too.

I don’t have a legal diagnosis for gender dysphoria, but tell that to my extreme urge to both be in and have a vagina. I’m making little changes--my hair, an outfit at a time, no longer policing how I walk or run or how much emphasis I put on S sounds. If I manage to come out to my parents sometime soon--and it feels like that moment is closer every day--maybe I’ll tell y’all my real, full chosen name. For right now, call me Easy.

*

Anyhow. My goals here are pretty simple:

1) Share words, both those by people I like/admire/sometimes know! and occasionally words I’ve made that I like. See the above screenshot from my notes app. Steal some words if you want, but if you manage to make money off some of mine, holler at ya gurl’s Venmo, yeah?

2) Discuss words, how they work, and how we create them, use them, engage with them, and ultimately make art of them. I am not a professional linguist, but I went to undergrad for creative writing, so, hey, I’ll have opinions and do my best to back them up with ideas from people smarter than I am.

3) Books! Read them, revisit them, quote them, talk about them, sometimes maybe even review them, if I’m feeling particularly bold. No writer can exist in a vacuum, and any writer who insists they don’t like to read is either a) dyslexic and prefers audiobooks or b) in serious need of switching to a communications major (no shade, but also definitely a little shade @corporate journalism).

5) I added this last, but I feel it’s less important than 4 and does not deserve bookend status, and I am verbose but incredibly lazy, so here I am, fucking with the system. Anyway: Art! Music! Video games! I fucking love them. I’ll talk about them, sometimes, too. Maybe I’ll finally do some of the ekphrastic work I’ve felt rattling around in my brain for a while now. Jade Cocoon 2′s Water Wormhole Forest, looking right the fuck at you.

6) Ah, shit, I did it again. Oh well. Last-but-not-last: This is obviously, in some ways, a diary, or a massive personal essay. I will sometimes discuss people, places, or experiences that have informed my work just the same as other people’s art has.

4) Be an unabashed and open Trans woman. TERFs, transphobes, ill-informed biological essentialists not permitted. Come at me and my girldick and prepare to be dunked on and subsequently shown the door via a swift and painful steel-toed kick in the ass. Everybody who doesn’t suck, if I screw up on any matter of socio-ethics or respect for diversity, please feel free to correct me.

*

Punk’s dead, but we’re a generation of motherfucking necromancers. Be gay, do crime, fight the patriarchy, and fart when you gotta. May the Great Old Ones select you to ascend to a higher plane and learn the terrible truths of existence.

Much love--

Easy