#oh well it's still Tuesday west of me >->
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sgiandubh · 1 year ago
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Life beyond OL - Xmas movies and a short Bucharest tour
About three weeks ago, What Else Anon prompted me to tell her what else I was reading, watching or interested in lately (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/734634576675274752/so-about-tcnd-no-im-kidding-dont-throw-me). That gave me an idea for a poll:
Should I turn this ask into a Life Beyond OL weekly, preferably on Tuesdays?
97,1% of the 35 brave people to answer said yes, so here we are.
Reading won't do it this hectic week: since Friday is my last day on the job before the holidays, I'm literally in a wrap-up frenzy, both at home and at the office. Let's say I am not exactly the type who buys her presents in July, which pretty much explains the circus.
As for watching, well: nope, I will not watch A Princess for Christmas if you'd pay me. It's both beyond and beneath my dignity, I am afraid and bless The Boy, but that is not enough for an incentive. By the same token, I shall not willingly acknowledge in public (at the blessed age of 45) that I know all the damn lines of Home Alone 1 by heart. With age, my absolute go-to Xmas movie has to be Love Actually. If only for this perfect opening scene with 0 cheesiness in it - you watch it and you are immediately hooked:
Interested in: going home for Christmas, what else? And before local exasperation hits hard (roughly two days after arrival, to be honest), I am still procrastinating on YouTube and watching those foot-in-mouth travel vlogs ('John and Jane Doe do ...'). In a sea of meh, you might find something interesting enough: I have no idea who Sammy & Tommy are, but they are smart people and they surely know a thing or two about travel. Once in Bucharest, my hometown, they followed their instinct and engaged with the natives - always the best plan.
Let's say it was worth it and probably went above and beyond their expectations: we tend to be obnoxiously hospitable. And I found the bakery people flawlessly endearing. I can confidently say it was something absolutely spontaneous and something I would do myself anytime for a total stranger:
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A bit of context: the Cișmigiu Gardens look way better than the last time I ventured in there. It is probably one of the most beloved parks of the city, a stone throw away from the Old Town, and also a wannabe copycat of Munich's Englischer Garten.
The featured bakery & cake shop are actually quite decent, serving traditional pastries from Transylvania (the West of the country) and some of the local dessert mishmash fare. Despite what the very nice bakery guy is telling Sammy and Tommy, neither savarina, nor amandina are 'traditional ' Romanian cakes. Savarina is simply the Polish/French rum baba, Stohrer invented for Stanisław I Leszczyński, the exiled Polish king who was also Louis XV's father in law. As for the other one, let's say it could be the love child of a Sachertorte and a Rigó Jancsi cake - totally Austro-Hungarian (Wikipedia babbles: it has nothing to do with French cuisine!)! Both sickeningly sweet and both personal favorites, amen. The first one they tried, cozonac, is a babka spinoff: something I hate with a passion, but also something that is going to be literally every(fucking)where this Christmas ('oh, you don't like my cozonac?! huh, nonono, I do, it's so fabulous I am taking my time!').
Honestly? This is a place that suffered a lot, especially during the Eighties, when Ceaușescu thought it would be a great idea to bulldoze about 60% of the old neighborhoods, after the horrific 1977 earthquake (perfect pretext). Words could never decently describe the shock, the drama and the abuse: people throwing themselves under the first passing car as their beloved houses were torn down, people displaced in the middle of nowhere, a human chain of people holding hands in a failed attempt to stop the demolition of a beloved church. All that quiet, endearing charm suddenly replaced by a Pyongyang transplant smack in the middle of town. This explaining perhaps why Bucharest is not the best/most touted tourist destination in my country. Tourists usually choose Transylvania (absolutely deserved) or, if they really want to be adventurous, Bucovina (or Țara de Sus, literally: The Highlands, hehe) - an off the beaten track gem and a very special place to me (half of my family hails from there). Impressed to see these guys hit Timișoara - one of the most beautiful, interesting and definitely underrated cities, right next to the border with both Hungary and Serbia.
Nice guys or not, I would never take you to that bakery, though. Nah: I'd take you round the corner, at the Athénée Palace's English Bar - the red arrow marks my very own spot since, heh, forever? And we'd have the Amalfi Old Fashioned cocktails: they are mandatory, here.
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PS: the Romanian guy kept his word and took them places the next day. I'd happily babble about this next week, though - from home. :)
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elianamarie-blog · 2 years ago
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The Things You Give Pt. 29
Woooooooww. It's been WAY too long! I'm so sorry my loves. Thank you for still reading my content though! I can't tell youhow much it means to me. You all are amazing and make my day by your likes and comments! I lost a lot of inspiration towards the end of last year and it was hard to write when you don't have that or any of the creative juices flowing, but I fought it because of you guys, so thank you for keeping me writing! Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Much love!
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February 28, 1979
Point Place, Wisconsin
Forman Residence
Eric Forman’s Basement
“You guys, listen to this ad,” Eric announced. “Do you like to draw? Well, I have been known to trace my hand and turn it into a turkey. If so, have your artistic ability evaluated by the cartoon academy of Fort Lauderdale.”
“Ooh, I think Picasso went there,” Kelso said.
“All I have to do is send in my drawing of Sanchez the turtle and a money order for $19.95. 20 bucks to get judged by a panel of cartoon experts? I'd pay twice that,” Eric said, grabbing a pad and pen.
“Okay, besides that, Donna…how’s the radio station going?” Jackie asked.
“It’s good,” she responded. “I get to host Tuesdays and Thursday’s from one to five A.M. Boss man is even thinking of letting me cohost with—get this—Jerry Thunder!”
“That’s awesome!” Kelso cried out excitedly. “You get to work with ‘The Sound!’” He lowered his voice, imitating the radio station announcement.
“Do you have any idea what this could mean for my career?” Donna continued.
"Oh, my God! You're going to be famous!" Jackie squealed.
“Exactly,” Eric responded. “Awe, my girl is going to be radio famous.”
“What about you, Steven?” Jackie asked, turning to him. “How’s work going?”
“Fine?” Hyde questioned, eyeing her. “Why are you so interested in other people’s lives?”
“Can’t I be interested in my friends’ lives?” she asked innocently.
“No,” he said flatly. “You’ve never have. What’s gotten into you?”
She sighed. “Well, Markus told me that I need to start taking an interest in other people’s lives other than my own, otherwise people won’t really love me like they say they do. And when I said that they do actually love me, he said they were lying to me. Is that true?”
Everyone went silent; not knowing how to respond.
Y/n clicked her tongue. “Um…well…”
“Who’s going to tell her?” Hyde asked. “Because I’m about to hurt her feelings."
“Oh, it’s true!” Jackie whined. “I thought I was being lovable. You know—like the nice princess from The Wizard of Oz.”
“Yeah,” Eric said slowly. “You’re not. You’re more like the wicked witch of the west.”   
“Alright, as fun as this is, I need to get to work,” Hyde announced.
“Who’s running the store while you’re here?” Donna asked.
“Angie. She’s really wound tight on when we open,” he responded, rolling his eyes. “She’s always bitching about me not being there early and opening up on time and not closing early. It’s stupid.”
“Man, Angie is so pretty,” Kelso cooed.
“What have I said when talking about my sister?” Hyde asked gruffly.
“Don’t put her name or pretty or anything of the like in the same sentence,” he responded, not making eye contact.
“That’s right,” Hyde responded. “Anyway, Angie likes to jump my ass about everything. I didn’t close last night so now it’s apparently my fault that the store looked like a mess this morning.”
“Well, then who closed?” Y/n asked.
“Me. I closed six hours early and apparently that’s bad business. But in my defense, I had an important appointment to go to.”
“Oh, your baby appointments?” Kelso asked as he started throwing a ball into the air.
“No, I had an appointment at my darts tournament.”
  “Steven,” Y/n lectured. “I know your sister is hard to work with but maybe you shouldn’t make her make your life more miserable.”
“Betrayal!” Steven cried out, pretending to be offended at his wife.
Y/n shook her head at him.
“I thought you guys didn’t get along?” Fez asked. “Why are you defending her?”
“Hey, right is right and wrong is wrong,” she replied. “And right now, Steven is wrong.”
“I think this calls for a divorce,” Eric said.
“Shut up, Eric,” Y/n said, propping her feet up on the table. “Steven, if you want her to get off your ass, maybe try pulling your weight around the store. It’s called running a business.”
“I’d hate to admit it, Hyde, but she’s right,” Donna said.
 “What’s going on here?” Hyde asked. “I can’t believe you’re on her side!”
“Normally I wouldn’t be, but this time she’s right,” Y/n responded. “It’s like me doing all the cooking and cleaning around the house and taking care of the kids while you’re away at work, and then coming home just to go to bed.”
Steven blinked at her. “Okay, where’s the lesson in that?”
“Steven!” she screeched. “My point is you can’t just show up and not expect to do any work. Especially at your own store.”
Steven made a face and sighed. “Fine. But I’m going to complain the whole time.”
She shook her head at him. “That’s fine. As long as work gets done. And I expect the same at home too!”
“Sure. But just so you know you’re going to have pay me too.”
“I can’t. It’s illegal if I do,” she sassed.
He smirked at her. “I love you.”
She smiled. “Love you, too.”
“Alright, well, I’m going.”
“Oh, don’t forget, we have a class later tonight.”
  “What class?”
 “A class on how to take care of a baby,” she said. “Remember? I signed us up for it with my mom. The same class Kelso and Brooke took.”
He groaned. “Come on, Y/n, do I really have to go?”
“Yes,” she said. “I’m not going to be the only one changing poopy diapers.”
“See, I was thinking I could be in charge of what goes into the babies and you’re in charge of what comes out.” The look on her face said otherwise. “Fine.”
She perked up immediately. “Thank you. It’s at 6. Be here by 5:30.”
He huffed. “Okay.” With that, he walked out the basement, leaving the rest behind.
 “And I’m hungry,” Y/n said and brought her feet down. “Babies and I want a snack. Maybe a bowl of fruit. And then some ice cream.” As she struggled to get up, Donna reached out to her. “No, no I got it.” She pushed herself up, but fell back into the chair. She sucked in a breath and launched herself out of the chair, barley landing on her feet. “See,” she said, breathing hard. “I got it.” She wobbled upstairs.
“What did she mean by that?” Fez asked innocently.
“What do you mean?” Jackie asked.
“When she said it’s illegal if she pays him. I thought getting an allowance was normal?”
Everyone giggled.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Think about it, Fez,” Jackie said. “Really think. Long and hard.”
Fez was quiet as everyone looked at him, waiting for him to get it. It didn’t take a long for a sly smile to break out on his face. He giggled. “I get it.”
“We should probably go too,” Kelso said and tapped Fez’s shoulder. “We have an apartment that we’re going to go look at.”
“You guys haven’t found an apartment yet?” Jackie asked. “Fez, where have you been sleeping this whole time?”
 “With me,” Kelso responded. “But I think my parents are getting sick of us.”
“What—you guys giggle like a bunch of school girls all night?” Donna chuckled.
Fez’s eyes grew a fraction. “Have you guys been spying on us?!”
“It’s true?!” Eric said, laughing.
“You know what? We really need to get going,” Kelso said and grabbed the scruff of Fez’s jacket. “See ya!”
“I swear, they’re in love or something,” Donna chuckled.
“Eh,” Eric shrugged. “Wouldn’t surprise me.”
                                    --Time Skip—
Y/n and Steven walked into the classroom that night. Plastic babies littered the room and a few other soon-to-be parents were all there and seated.
“Come on, Y/n, do we really have to do this?” Steven whined.
“I think it’s a good idea,” she said. “We’ve never been around babies before so we need to be prepared.”
Just as she said that, a large impregnated woman waddled by them and sat in a seat farthest away from them.
“Oh, my God,” Y/n said under her breath. “She has to be in her third trimester. That looks painful.”
“Either she’s having multiple kids or her baby is going to rip her apart.”
“Not helping, Steven.”
“Hey, you two,” Kitty cooed excitedly as she walked up to the couple. “Steven, you ready to talk about burps, boo-boo’s, and binkies?”
“Yeah, sure,” he responded flatly.
“Oh, come on don’t be such a sour puss,” Kitty said. “You should be glad to be here! Especially since I’m going to be the one to guide you into parenthood.” She gave them an excited, crinkled smile.
“I wouldn’t say I’m glad—” Steven started, but was cut off by Y/n.
“Shut up, Steven.”
He clamped his jaw shut as Kitty continued.
“Well, I am so glad that you’re here anyway,” she said. “It makes it better knowing that I’m guiding you to become better parents for my grandbabies!”
“Thanks, Mrs. Forman,” Steven said genuinely.
“You’re welcome, dear.” She turned to address the rest of the class. “Okay, everyone have a seat!” Kitty announced from the front. As everyone sat down, Kitty began. “Now, when your little bundle of joy is first born, they will spend almost 20 hours a day pooping and sleeping. Who else can tell me what else they’ll be doing?”
Y/n raised her hand eagerly. “Eating.”
“Great job, Y/n!” Kitty praised. “Now, what do babies eat?”
“Breast milk and formula!” a red-headed woman said eagerly.
“Yes, great job! Now, when your baby is born and it’s time to breastfeed, don’t be alarmed when the first couple of feedings may feel uncomfortable. Once the baby latches on properly to the nipple, it should feel less uncomfortable and more of a tugging on the breast.”
As Kitty continued her teaching, Steven leaned into Y/n’s ear and smirked. “So…nothing new for you then, right?”
“Shut up, Steven,” Y/n said, blushing.
He snickered and leaned away, eyes forward.
“And just so you know,” Y/n whispered, leaning into his side this time. “You just burned yourself.”
“What? How so?”
She chuckled breathlessly. “You basically said that all you do is tug…like a baby.”
 His smirk dropped immediately. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did,” she chuckled. “You just got burned, sucka!”
The room went dead silent as Kitty stared at them.
“Is there something you two would like to share?” she asked the couple who looked at like deer caught in the headlights.
“No,” Steven said.
“No, ma’am,” Y/n said in unison.
Kitty gave a curt nod before returning to the board.
                                                    ⧝⧝⧝
“Hey, this place is nice!” Kelso exclaimed as he and Fez walked through the empty apartment. “Big enough to bring the ladies over.” He smirked at his friend.
“And your daughter?” Fez reminded him.
“Oh, yeah, that too.”
The two young men walked around the two-bedroom apartment, admiring it. The living room was spacious with the bathroom and master bedroom immediately to the left of entering. Straight ahead was a decent sized kitchen with a half wall bar looking straight into it. There was a hall to the left of it that lead to the smaller bedroom and a sliding door.
“I think we should go fill out an application before someone else nabs it,” Fez said and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m going to go find the landlord before I—oof!” As he had turned around to leave, he had bumped straight into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry—oh, it’s you.”
The man stood there with a disgusted look on his face and folded arms across his chest. He was skinny with short thinning brown hair with a matching mustache. “Fez,” he said.
“Fenton,” Fez replied in the same tone and matched his stance.
“What are you doing in my apartment?”
Fez brought his eyebrows together. “What do you mean ‘your’ apartment?”
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Fenton smirked. “I’m the landlord of this joint. And before you fill out an application, the answer is no.”
“What? Why?” Fez asked, disappointed.
“You know why,” he responded and turned to Kelso. “But…I’d give it to you in a heartbeat.”
Kelso shifted uncomfortably in his place. “Uh…thanks man, but I don’t swing that way.”
“You don’t have to for me to give you this apartment. You’re way too pretty to pass that easily.”
A smug smile pressed into Kelso’s lips. “I know.”
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you this apartment right here, right now under one condition: You don’t make him your roommate.”
Kelso looked between the two men, stumbling for words. “I don’t—I can’t—”
“Are you serious? You can’t decide right now?” Fez asked, hurt.
“Well, I mean—I need a place, man. A place to raise my daughter.”
“But you can’t just leave me! You need a roommate to help pay the rent and I need a place a live!”
“I know, man, but I got to think of me and my daughter,” Kelso admitted sheepishly.
“I can’t believe this,” Fez said. “I thought you were my friend.”
“Fez, I am your friend!”
“No, you’re not, you son of a bitch!” He stomped out the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
“Fez!” Kelso called and started to run out the door, but Fenton caught him by the shoulder.
“Hey, the offer is still on the table, my friend.”
Kelso shook his head. “No. Not from you.” He walked out, to go find his friend.
                                                        ⧝⧝⧝
“Oh, that’s great Kyra,” Kitty said, watching the redhead wrap a cloth diaper around a baby doll. “Snug so that it fits well and comfortable, but not too snug to cause rash and discomfort. And certainly not too loose! You can imagine what happens when it is!” Kitty laughed and moved onto to the next couple—Y/n and Hyde.
Y/n was struggling to wrap the diaper correctly around the plastic baby. The diaper wouldn’t stay pinned, or it wouldn’t fit right. She was beginning to get flustered and frustrated.
“I don’t think that’s how you do it,” Steven muttered.
“I know how it’s done, Steven!” Y/n snapped.
“Really? ‘Cause it doesn’t look like it.”
“Shut up,” she grumbled and finally pinned the diaper. “There!” She held up the baby in the air, showcasing it to her husband.
Kitty stepped up to their side with a look of concern. “Well, that’s very good, Y/n, but the needle of the pin isn’t supposed to go into the baby’ stomach.”
Tears pricked the corner of her eyes. “Oh, forget it!” She threw the baby down onto the table. “I’m going to be a terrible mother!”
“No, no, you’re not,” Steven said gently and picked up the baby. “I’m probably going to be a worse father—” Y/n shot him a glare. “I mean…a bad father while you…my darling…are you going to be the best gosh darn mother out there.”
She made a face at him, not believing him.
“L-look, it’s not that hard, see?” he stammered and unpinned the needle from the baby. With gentle hands, he undid the diaper and folded the bottom up, then left, and then right. He carefully pinned the diaper down and brought the baby up.
“Wow, great job, Steven!” Kitty cheered. “This looks amazing!”
“Where did you learn to do this?” Y/n asked, confused and marveled at the diaper.
“Well, when my mom would bring home one of my ‘uncles’, he sometimes would bring a kid and my mom, being the terrible person that she is, would make me in charge of watching these kids. Sometimes they were still in diapers. And if I didn’t want my house smelling like crap, then I had to learn how to change a diaper. So…viola.” He held the baby in the palm of his hand.
Y/n stared at it for a second with watery eyes before turning around and stomped out the room.
Steven sighed and set down the baby. “I better go after her. I’ll see you at home, Mrs. Forman.”
Y/n was about to exit the building when Steven called after her.
“Y/n, wait!”
“Please, leave me alone,” she said. “I don’t want to talk to anybody right now.”
“Look, come on,” he said, now at her side and grabbed her elbow. “You know you’re going to be the best mom you can be.”
“How can you know that? If I can’t put on a simple diaper, what makes you think I can do anything else?”
Steven chuckled at her.
“This isn’t funny, Steven!”
“No, no, it’s just that I find humorous that it’s you instead of me.”
“What?” she spat.
“I mean I thought it’d me feeling this way instead of you. I always thought you’d be the one to know what to do before me.”
“Well, I’m glad I could to be of service,” she deadpanned.
“Look, Doll,” he said and grabbed her hands. “You’re going to be great, I promise.”
“I’m not so sure,” she said solemnly and withdrew her hands. “I need to go, I’ll see you at home.”
“Where you going?”
“There’s someone I need to go talk to.” She pushed open the door to walk out.
“You can’t go!”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because we drove here together!”
“Oh, right.”
                                                    ⧝⧝⧝
Y/n raised her fist and nervously knocked on the door in front of her. Padded footsteps could be heard from inside before the door swung open.
Brooke stood in front of her in a pink night gown, hair brushed and braided down her back. “Y/n…what are you doing here?”
“I’m so sorry to bother you this late, but…I was wondering if I can talk to you?”
“Uh…sure,” Brooke replied, a little surprised to see someone she barley spoke to standing on her doorstep. She opened the door wider, gesturing for Y/n to come in. She made her way to the kitchen. “Have a seat and make yourself at home. Would you like some tea?”
“Um…no thank you,” she replied and closed the door behind her. “I won’t be here long.”
“Okay,” Brooke said, grabbing a mug of hot tea and sat down next to Y/n. She smiled at the visibly bothered girl who sat down beside her and crossed her legs. “What’s up?”
Y/n sighed, struggling to find the right words. “When—when you were pregnant with Betsy…were you nervous?”
Brooke tilted her head in thought, jutting her lower lip out. “Well…sure. I mean, who isn’t when it’s their first child?” She chuckled, remembering the thought. “Especially when the father of your child is…well…Michael.”
Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, I can imagine.” Her gaze dropped to her hands that laid in her lap. “Did you ever feel like you were going to be a bad mom? Because you had no idea what the hell you’d be doing?”
Brooke nodded. “Yeah…I did. Michael and I went to that baby class Mrs. Forman teaches and I could barley put the diaper on that stupid plastic baby.”
Y/n perked up. “Me too! How did you learn to do it?”
Brooke smiled gently at her. “It became second nature once I held Betsy in my arms.”
Y/n was silent for a minute. “But what if it doesn’t? What if—what if I do everything wrong and fail my babies?”
“You’re not going to,” Brooke soothed and tapped Y/n’s knee. “Once they are born, your motherly instincts will kick in. It’s expected.”
“Wasn’t for Steven’s mom.”
“Steven’s mom is a special case,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “You’re not going to be like her.”
“Well, I know that!” Y/n exclaimed, making Brooke laugh. “I just don’t want to be dunce that can’t figure out how to keep a baby happy.”
“You want to know the secret to a happy baby?” Brooke asked, leaning in.
Y/n perked up. “Yes!”
“There isn’t,” she deadpanned. “You’re never going to have a happy baby 100 percent of the time. They’re going to cry when they’re hungry, tired, have a full diaper, or just want to be held. Sometimes, they’re gonna cry just to cry.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah. At some point they’re going to get old enough to throw a fit. Betsy is old enough now to scream when she gets mad.”
“Really?” Y/n asked, most surprised than the last time she asked.
“Yeah,” Brooke sighed and rubbed her temples. “I love that little girl with all my heart, but sometimes I just want to give her a small taste of my mother’s bourbon in her milk so she can go to sleep.”
“Wait…do you?” she asked, taken aback and if she were being honest…a little amused.
“No,” Brooke chuckled and took a sip of her tea. “It’s tempting though when it’s three a.m. and she still isn’t asleep.”
Y/n chuckled. “I can imagine.” She looked down into her lap as a sudden pressure formed on her chest. “You know what? I think I’ll take that tea now.”
Brooke noticed her sudden change in demeanor, nodded quickly and rushed to the kitchen to grab her a cup of tea. When she rushed back in with a hot cup, she saw Y/n taking slow, steady breaths. Y/n accepted the cup graciously.
“I’m don’t think I’m ready to have kids,” she quivered, taking a sip from her tea.
Brooke looked at her awkwardly. “Erm…wouldn’t you rather be talking about this with your friends—"
Y/n didn’t even bother to hear what she was saying. “I’m going to make a terrible mother. I mean—I don’t know anything about babies! I read in the book Eric got me for Christmas that babies have six different cries. SIX! How am I supposed to know which ones which?”
“Okay, I guess we’re talking about it.”
“And then top of that, if I somehow manage to keep them alive, I have no idea what kind of parent I’m going to be.”
“Y/n, it’s going to be okay,” Brooke said nervously, trying to soothe her.
“No, it’s not,” Y/n practically sobbed. “I have no idea what I’m going to do!”
“I felt the same way,” she responded calmly.
“You did?”
“Oh, yeah. I had no idea what I was doing when Betsy was born. But eventually, it got easier.”
Y/n let out a small breath of relief. “Maybe I have a chance.”
“Of course you do. Every mom that is worried about being a good mom is a good mom.”
She moved the corner of her mouth upwards. “You think so?”
“I know so.” Brooke scooted a little closer to her. “Listen, becoming a new parent is stressful enough as it is. It doesn’t help when you’re eighteen and just starting your career at the library and you get knocked up at a Molly Hatchet concert.” She clicked her tongue, staring off angrily in the distance and shook her head. “Stupid Michael.”
Y/n’s gaze flicked to her and then anywhere else in the room, confused. “I assume we’re no longer talking about me.”
Brooke shook her head. “Sorry. Look, my point is, you’re going to make an amazing mom. I was scared too, but now I can’t imagine my life without my daughter. Regardless of how you feel, you’re going to make mistakes, but that’s not going to make your children love you any less.”
She smiled at Brooke. “Thanks, Brooke. That means a lot.”
“Anytime,” she hummed and leaned back. “So…what’s it like being married to one of the stooges?”
Y/n chuckled. “You got some time?”
                                                          ⧝⧝⧝
“Push, Y/n, push!” Steven encouraged as he held his wife’s hand.
Y/n sat there with her legs hiked up on a table, a female nurse sitting between her legs.
“Steven, before we continue, I just wanted to say that you’re the best sex I’ve ever had,” Y/n said with a certain twinkle in her eyes.
Steven smirked. “I know. Now, come on just a couple more pushes!”
She hunched forward and barley pushed before a squealing baby could be heard.
“Congratulations it’s a boy!” the nurse exclaimed.
“Oh, my God,” the couple breathed together as they watched another nurse take the baby away.
“Okay, one more time,” the nurse said and had Y/n push once again. As easily as the first, another baby popped out, it’s cries echoing the room. “Congrats, it’s another boy!”
As the Hyde’s sat back to relax, satisfied smile on their faces, the doctor perked up.
“What?” Y/n asked. “What is it?”
The nurse’s eyes lifted to meet Steven’s and Y/n’s. “Another baby is coming out…”
“WHAT?!” the couple yelled in unison.
“That’s impossible,” Y/n panicked.
“No one told you were having triplets?” the nurse asked.
“NO!” the couple once again said in unison.
“Okay, this is almost unheard of!” she exclaimed almost excitedly. “Okay, Y/n I’m going to need you to push one more time.”
“N-no! I’m not ready to have another baby!” she cried out.
“It’s a little late for that now!” Kitty said from the corner of the room. “You should’ve used a condom!”
“Mom?” Y/n asked through her quickened breaths. “When did you get here?”
“What are you talking about? I’ve been here the whole time!” she said. “Now, saddle up and push!”
All Y/n had to do was barley push for the baby to come out.
“It’s another boy!” The nurse held the baby in her hands before her eyes grew wide. “Another one is coming!”
“NO!” the couple screamed together.
“It’s a girl! Oh…another one!”
The couple screamed as the baby came out without Y/n needing to push.
As the baby girl came out, another one came out, and then another, and another…and another. They kept on coming until there was a total of 100 babies—crying, screaming, pooping, and drooling.
“Look, Steven,” Y/n gushed. “Look at our beautiful family.” As she spoke, her voice grew deeper and distorted.
Steven stared at her in disbelief at her sudden attitude change when not even a minute ago she was panicking.
“Wait—what?” he asked through bated breaths. “This isn’t—this isn’t real. This isn’t happening.”
“Oh, but it is,” she replied, her smile growing in a distorted and an unnatural way. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think she was possessed—or the joker. “Steven, there’s no way out of this. You did this to me and now you must face before your consequences.”
“I didn’t say I was going anywhere. I—you’re not Y/n. My Y/n knows that.”
“You’re right,” she replied, now standing up. Her body seemed lankier, her limbs longer now. Her eyes grew dark as her skin paled. “Y/n is not here anymore.”
“Steven…” a weak, fragile voice came from behind him. He spun around to see a mirror facing him. Instead of seeing his own reflection, he saw his wife standing there. She looked small and frail, but it was her. Her hair once beautiful hair was dull and lacked life. Her face looked gaunt and her eyes were sunken—exhausted. What once was life and happiness and love in her eyes now only showed sadness.  “Steven, I want out.”
He ambled over to the mirror, scared and confused in what appeared in front of him. “What the hell is happening?”
“I need help,” she cried. “Please, I need help!”
“With what?! Just tell me what you need and I’ll do it!”
“You should know! You caused this!” Y/n screamed at him, tears rolling down her face.
“Caused what?!”
“This,” the other Y/n croaked in a deep voice and pointed a long finger at the mountain of screaming babies. “You failed your family.”
“No! I—I swear I didn’t—I don’t want to!”
“But you did!” The real Y/n screamed. “You left me! I was drowning and you did nothing but watch me! Now, I’m nothing but an empty shell of what I once was! How could you do this to me?! You promised me!”
“But I’m still here!”
“For now,” the ugly, creepy Y/n said. “You’re going to leave just like the man who raised you did.”
“This is all your fault!” his real wife screamed, eyes now wide and erratic. She pointed her finger at him, tears still streaming down her face. “Your fault! Look what you made of me! This is your fault!”
“No!” Steven cried out. He screwed his eyes shut, shaking his head. “This isn’t real! This can’t be.”
“But it is,” a familiar voice came from the mirror. Steven opened his eyes to not see his wife anymore, but to see the one person he thought he’d never see.
“Dad?” He asked, shakily.
“Hey, Steven,” Bud said, shoving his hands in his pockets casually. His shaggy brown hair still hung passed his ears and he wore a flannel shirt and jeans—the last outfit he saw him in before he left him.
Steven couldn’t respond. He ran his hands through his hair, but when he did he saw Bud mimic his movements. As he brought his hands back down to his side, Bud did the same. He waved at the mirror only to his horror to see his supposed father wave his hand. When Steven inched closer to it, Bud followed suit.
“I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Bud continued, a smirk painting his face. “Get a grip on reality, Steven. This is your future!”
“No, I am nothing like you!”
Bud clicked his tongue. “Then why did you do what you did?”
Steven shook his head. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Yeah, you keep thinking that. But you’ll eventually end up just like your dad.”
“No, I won’t!” Steven seethed. “You don’t know me.”
“But I do. You’re just like everybody else in this family—a lowlife. You’ve got nothing to bring to the table.”
Steven’s chest was heaving from anger. “Go to hell, Bud.”
“I’ll see you there.”
“What—?”
Before Steven could finish his sentence, the ground beneath him disappeared and swallowed him whole. He screamed as he fell through the never-ending darkness.
“No!” Steven screamed as he jerked awake. It took him a minute to take in his surroundings, gathering his bearings. When he realized it was just a dream, he was heaving and his heart was racing. He glanced over at the bedside clock and it read 4:40am. He looked to his left to see his wife sleeping peacefully beside him. Seeing her there and looking healthy and not possessed brought him a wave of peace and relief. His sudden jerking movements must have wakened her because she stirred awake.
“Babe?” she asked groggy. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Yeah,” he breathed, his racing heart calming down. “Just a bad dream.”
She hummed, her eyes fluttering shut. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He stared down at her, taking her in, trying to forget the image of her from his dream. "No, I'm okay."
"Come here.” She opened her arms and he graciously fell into them. She rubbed his back and caressed his hair, making him feel safe. “It was just a nightmare. It’s over now. You’re safe.”
His grip around her tightened and her belly pressed into his stomach. “I know.”
“Good.”
As they began to fall back into their slumber, Steven felt something move across his stomach. At first, he thought Y/n had shifted her position. But it wasn’t until he felt a little poke to his stomach.
“What the—” Steven said, scrambling away from his wife. “Did you feel that?!”
The feeling jolted her awake as well. “Yeah, I did.” She felt more movement and another poke to her stomach. “Oh, my God…I think the babies are kicking!”
“Seriously?!” he asked, surprised. He pressed his hands to her stomach, waiting for another kick. When it came, his heart skipped a beat. “Oh, my God. There’s actually something in there.”
“Yeah,” she replied, holding her stomach in awe. “There is.”
Steven looked up to meet her loving gaze. She cupped his face before he kissed her belly. “Does it feel weird?”
“Yeah,” she chuckled. “But a good weird.”
Another kick to her stomach. “Man, these kids are kicking like crazy!”
“I know! This is incredible.”
“It really is,” he whispered.
Y/n tilted her head. “You okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah…just. Makes it real, you know?”
She placed her hands over his. “I do.”
He huffed through his nose and pressed his lips to her belly once more. “I promise to be the best dad I can be.”
Y/n’s heart and stomach filled with butterflies. “And I promise to be the best mom I can be.”
He looked at her once more before reaching up and placing a sweet kiss to her lips.
                                            ∞∞∞ 
“So, he’s not talking to you now?” Donna asked Kelso as he, Jackie, Eric, Y/n, Steven and Kitty sat in the kitchen waiting for brunch to finish cooking.
  “No,” Kelso responded. “He packed up his stuff and left. I called his host parents and they haven’t heard anything from him. He hasn’t called me to make sure he’s okay. I don’t know, I’m worried about him guys.”
“Hey, Kelso, if things don’t work out with Angie, you and Fez should get together,” Y/n joked.
 “Wait, why Angie?” Steven asked, glaring at his friend. “Kelso, what does she mean by that?”
  “Nothing. It was a joke,” Kelso chuckled nervously and shot a glare to Y/n.
“Was it?” Steven pushed and turned to his wife. “Now, darling, were you joking? You wouldn’t lie to your husband, would you?”
Y/n gulped nervously. “N-no, of course not.”
“Then what did you mean by that?”
“Nothing,” she stuttered. “I was just…making a poor joke.”
Hyde squinted at her behind his glasses. “I don’t believe you.”
“Wow! Look at the time I really should be going!” She tried to get up quickly, but the new weight of her stomach slowed her down. She achingly stood and tried to stand, but Steven grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
  “Y/n,” he said sternly. “Tell me the truth. Or I’m going to stop doing the thing that you like.”
“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that,” Kitty said, stirring the pan of the food.
Y/n stared into her husband’s eyes before cracking. “Kelso has been secretly dating your sister!”
“Y/n!” Kelso shouted. “What the hell?!”
“I’m sorry!” she cried out. “I can’t lie to him! He’s my husband. Besides, when he threatens to take certain things away, he means it.”
Steven smiled proudly. “Damn straight.”
“Look, man, I—” Kelso began, but was cut off by Hyde.
“Nah, you listen to me. I told you to stay away from Angie and you went behind my back and did it anyway. Now, you’re going to pay.”
“Wow, this sounds familiar,” Eric piped up, pretending to think. He looked at Hyde, smirking. “Oh, yeah.”
“Shut up, Forman!” Steven snapped and turned his attention back to Kelso. “Look, I’m not going to tell you again. You’re going to end it, and you’re going to end it now.”
“What? C’mon, man it’s not like we did it or anything!” Kelso defended. “Yet at least.” He stuck his tongue out and nudged Y/n.
“Yeah…I’m not going to do that,” she responded, resting her hand on her stomach.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you knocking her up too,” Hyde said. “And if you do, I will put you six feet under.”
“Yeah, how terrible would that be?” Eric mocked, still smirking.
Hyde glared at his brother-in-law. “I said shut up.” He turned back to Kelso. “I mean it. You and her? Are done.”
“Alright, man, jeez,” Kelso said and leaned back in his chair.
“Alright,” Steven said, satisfied with the answer. “Now, Y/n…”
“Yes, dear?” she asked nervously.
“I’d like to know why you tried to cover Kelso’s ass.”
“I didn’t,” she said, her voice getting higher.
“Yes, you did.” He leaned back in his chair, slinging his arm down the back, and cocked his head to the side. “You want to tell me why?”
“Uh…” she stuttered, her mouth going dry. “Guys, the babies kicked last night!”
“What?!” Everyone shouted, her diversion successful.
Kitty ran over to her and placed her hand on her daughter’s belly. “Oh, my God! My grandbabies kicked!” After a few seconds of no movement, her eyebrows furrowed. “C’mon, babies. Kick for Grandma. Kick!”
“Mom, I don’t think that’s how th—” Eric began, but Kitty cut him off with her joyous screeching.
  “One of them kicked!” she cried out. “I can’t believe it! One of them kicked! Red! Red, honey, get in here!”
“What?” he asked calmly, entering the kitchen.
“The babies kicked!” she replied excitedly.
“Oh, that’s great,” he said with a grin.
 “Come feel it!”
Red cleared his throat and stayed near the door. “No, it’s okay. I believe you.”
 “Red, come feel your grandchildren,” Kitty scolded.
   “No, I really don’t want to.”
   “Red Forman, come feel the life your daughter is bringing into this world right now!”
“But…it’s so awkward,” he whined and cautiously stepped over to Y/n. His hand hovered over her bulging belly.
“It’s okay, Dad, it’s not going to bite,” Y/n chuckled.
Red sighed grumpily before barley placing his fingertips on her stomach. He stood there for a few seconds before he felt movement. His eyes widened slightly before pressing more of his hand onto her belly. Another kick to his hand caused him to withdraw.
He cleared his throat. “Well, uh, there’s that.”
“Red, those are your grandchildren and that’s all you got to say?” Kitty asked.
“Well…there really are babies in there.”
“Yeah, and in three months they’ll be here,” Kitty mentioned, but when she did Hyde’s and Y/n’s faces dropped.
“Th-three months?” Hyde stuttered; his previous frustration complete dissipated.
“Well, yeah!” Kitty answered. She gave them an astonished look as they stared back in panic. “Did you guys think that they weren’t just going to come?”
“No, I-I just thought that w-we had more time,” Y/n said and looked to her husband in a panic.
“What do you mean by that?” Kitty asked, straightening up.
“We, uh, we don’t exactly—” Hyde started.
 “Oh, my God!” Kitty yelled. “You guys don’t have anything for the babies?”
“Not exactly…” Y/n answered, looking down.
“Okay, then what do you have?” Kitty asked, standing straight and put her hands on her hips.
“We…have the onesies…that Eric gave us,Y/n said hesitantly.
 “That’s all you have?!” Kitty screeched, causing Eric, Y/n, and Steven to cover their ears closest to her.
 “Mom, please…dogs can hear you,” Eric said, walking away.
  “Steven, what are we going to do?” Y/n asked, worryingly looking to her husband.
He sighed and rubbed his neck. “I don’t know. I can ask WB if he can give me an advance on my paycheck. I can’t imagine how much this stuff is going to cost.”
“No need,” Kitty said, excited. “This gives us a perfect opportunity to have a baby shower!”
“No!” Red shouted. “No. More. Parties!”
“Red, it won’t be for us,” Kitty argued. “It’ll be for them.” She placed both hands on her daughter’s belly.
 “Don’t do this,” Red said. “Don’t use our unborn grandchildren as a way to get your way.”
“I’m not!” she responded and stood straight. “We can have this baby shower and get everything that we need! We won’t have to spend a dime!”
“We still have to spend money on the party!”
“Actually, we can cover that. Right, Steven?” Y/n asked.
“Uh…do I have to be there?” he asked.
“No,” Y/n answered, knowing the answer will satisfy her husband.
“Then yes we can!” he said, more upbeat.
“There you go!” Kitty said, facing her husband. “And I think this calls for the godmother to get everything ready.” She eyed Donna who was chewing on a piece of bacon.
“By myself?” she responded with wide eyes.
“Wait, what?!” Jackie screeched. “You made her godmother?!”
“Well, yeah,” Y/n answered honestly. “She’s my brother’s girlfriend and my best friend.”
 “I’m your best friend!”
“I told you not to tell her,” Y/n said to Kitty who looked away awkwardly and busied herself with preparing more food. “Jackie, you are my best friend. But I can’t make you my maid of honor and the godmother of my children.”
“Well, why not?”
Y/n made a face at her. “Because I have other friends.”
“Yeah, but I’m the best one!”
"Y/n, let me handle this one,” Eric said and turned to the petite brunette. “Nobody cares. Alright, moving on.”
Jackie clicked her tongue and huffed, sitting down at the counter.
“Okay, back to the topic at hand,” Kitty said. “We need to decide when we can have the party.”
“Hey, are we just going to forget about my problem?” Kelso piped up.
“Oh, yeah,” Steven said. “Kelso, the best thing you can do is…to stop talking about it.” He grinned at his friend when he shot him a glare.
 “Steven,” Y/n said firmly and turned back to Kelso. “Just give him a couple days. He’ll come back around.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he mumbled.
A beat passed when the sliding door opened and Fez walked in.
 “Hello beautiful people,” he greeted cheerfully before his eyes landed on Kelso. “Oh, hello.”
“Hey, buddy. We need to figure this out,” Kelso said.
“There’s nothing to figure out,” Fez said bitterly. “You picked an apartment over me! From my arch nemesis out of all people!”
“Fez, he’s not your arch nemesis,” Eric pointed out. “He just gets on your nerves.”
“It doesn’t matter; he still chose the apartment over me!”
“So I can have a place to raise my daughter!” Kelso defended. “Fez, man, you’re my best friend, but I got to think about my kid.”
“Alright, I’ve had enough,” Red said. “I’m going down to the apartment with you and talking to that damn landlord.”
“Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Red. That means a lot,” Fez said sweetly.
“Don’t think I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart,” Red replied. “I don’t want you moving back into my house!”
“Also, a fair point,” Steven said in a taunting way and got up to put his plate in the sink.
“Be ready in five minutes,” Red said, grabbing his keys. “I don’t want to deal with this crap any longer.”
“Can we please get back to the topic at hand?” Kitty asked. “When should we have the shower?”
“How ‘bout next Saturday?” Donna suggested. “Gives us enough time to plan and not scatter like we did for the wedding.”
“We’re having a party?” Fez asked. “I want to go to a party.”
“Well, I think that’s a wonderful idea!” Kitty cheered, ignoring Fez. “Oh, I am so excited! I’ll start the guest list!”
“And I’ll start the food and decorations!” Donna said.
  “Make sure you put cake on that list,” Y/n said. “I’m on a chocolate kick.”
 “Oh, and finger sandwiches!” Kitty exclaimed. She gasped. “And tea!”
“Are we having a baby shower or a tea party?” Fez asked.
“Are you coming?” Y/n asked.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he responded. “I love planning parties!”
“Fez, it’s a baby shower,” Jackie said. “It’s not going to be a party.”
“Awe, party poopers,” he responded disappointed.
“Well, we could use you,” Donna said. “We could use your theme expertise.”
“What about me?!” Jackie said. “I have a good taste!”
 “Fine, Jackie and Fez can work together,” Y/n said, exhausted already.
   “Yay!” Jackie cheered, clapping her hands. “Oh, Fez we have so much to go over!”
“While this is going on, me and the boys will be at the bar,” Steven smirked and continued eating his food.
“Can you guys take Markus with you?” Jackie asked. “I’m trying to get him ‘in’ with the group.”
“Doesn’t he have any of his own friends?” Steven asked, annoyed.
  “Duh, but I’d like him to get closer to you guys because I don’t like his friends,” she said candidly.
“Why not?” Y/n asked, grabbing for a strawberry.
 “They’re just…eck,” she responded.
“What do you mean ‘eck’?” Eric asked.
“I mean…they’re weird!”
“Weirder than us?” Donna asked.
“Yeah, believe it or not!”
“Jackie, I don’t want to take my ex’s new boyfriend out on guy’s night,” Steven said. “It’s almost like returning to the scene of the crime.”
“No, it’s not!” she protested.
“I second what Hyde said,” Eric said, “It’s weird.”
“Ah, c’mon guys, please!” she begged. “I’d like for him to be here more often.”
“Then, he can just be here more often,” Donna said, pointing out the obvious.
“Alright, let’s go,” Red called out. “I want to get back to catch the Packer’s game.”
“But I want to talk about the party!” Fez whined.
 “You want join in on some tooty frooty baby shower or do you want to get a house that has a roof and running water unlike the hut you came from?” Red threatened.
Fez’s eyes widened. “See ya.” He ran out the door to meet Red at the car.
                                                  --Time Skip—
“Are you Fenton?” Red asked as he walked into the empty apartment. In the middle of the room stood the familiar bald man with a mousy moustache. “I’m here to talk about the apartment.”
“Well, you’re in luck,” Fenton responded, flamboyantly and smiled. “It’s still available. And F.Y.I so am I.”
Red scrunched his face at him. “Look, I have a wife.”
“And I have a football, but I never use it.”
“Red!” Kelso called out, storming into the room. “I know you told us to wait in the car, but Fez keep playing his bongo music!”
“It’s called jazz, you philistine!” Fez yelled, trailing behind him.
“Oh, you’re with him,” Fenton responded, unpleased. “Deals off. I gotta get to yoga.”
“Hey, can’t we talk about this?” Red asked.
“No,” he said shortly.
“See, I told you he was going to be—” Fez started, but was cut off by Red.
“Just shut it, or I’ll shut it for you!”
Fenton looked at Red, impressed and if he was being honest, maybe a little turned on. “Well, you just don't take crap from anyone, do you, Mr. Man?”
Kelso sighed. “I knew this was gonna be a waste of time. Come on, Fez. We'll go figure out some other place to live with the baby.” He and Fez walked out in a huff leaving Red and Fenton.
“Baby? No one mentioned they had a baby. That... that's so progressive,” Fenton said.
Red cocked an eyebrow at him. “Progressive?”
“Well, how can I not give the apartment to two men raising a child together?”
Red smiled, understanding what Fenton was implying. “Oh. Yeah, progressive. Yeah, that's what they are. They're as progressive as hell. Why, they're likenewlyweds."
“Mhm,” Fenton hummed. “I wish I knew what that was like. Always a bridesmaid, but never a bride.”
Red nodded. “Right. So, we got a deal?”
“Alright, fine, but they mess up once and they’re out of here.”
Red wanted to open his mouth, but chose to keep it shut. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
                                     --Later in the basement—
“Guys, I can’t believe I graduate in a few months,” Jackie mentioned while the gang hung out. “I’ll finally become a woman!”
“Jackie, you became a woman the night you lost it to Kelso,” Y/n responded, leaning back against the couch. Her big belly now starting to cause her back pain and ankle pain.
“Man, I can’t believe I graduated a year ago,” Eric said. “Man, time really flies when you take two naps a day. I didn’t really do anything.”
“I don’t really think you…I mean you did do…man, you really sat on your ass,” Donna said, giving on trying to comfort her boyfriend.
  “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Eric said glumly. “I mean, I got a letter from the contest and they think I have no artistic talent. You know, I’m starting to think that the cartoon academy of Fort Lauderdale isn’t legitimate.”
“Yeah? What gave it away?” Y/n deadpanned.
“Yep, Forman, we’ve all passed you by,” Hyde said smugly. “I’m running a record store. All the while banging your sister—”
“‘Banging?’” Y/n glared at her husband. “Don’t you mean ‘married?’ I mean, I’m even carrying your kids for God’s sake!”
“You didn’t let me finish,” he said calmly and turned back to Eric. “I’m also hitched and about to have kids, Donna’s a deejay, Kelso’s a cop…even Fez has a job now. What’s it again, man? Shower girl? Makeup lady?”
“Shampoo boy!” Fez said loudly and shortly.
“Eh, I was close.”
“What did you being married to Y/n and her carrying your kids have anything to do with the conversation?” Eric asked.
Hyde shrugged. “Just another thing to rub in your face that I’m much further along than you.”
“Wait, so I’m the loser of the group now?” Eric asked, pointing to himself.
“I mean, you’re the one still living with your mommy,” Kelso said.
“Hey, I still live with my mommy,” Y/n said.
“Yeah, but you’re still married to someone who is successful,” Jackie said, leaning against the washing machine. Y/n furrowed her brows, not feeling any better. “Eric just stays home who’s mommy still cuts the crust off his sandwiches.”
Eric ignored Jackie and turned to Kelso. “Man, you’re still living with your mommy.”
“Not for long. Me and Fez are looking for an apartment and the only thing I’ll need my mom for is to do my cooking, laundry, and taking me to the dentist.”
“Well, Eric I feel kinda bad,” Jackie said. “You wouldn’t even be thinking of this kind of stuff if you hadn’t been caught in the brightness of my future.”
“You know what else is scary? If this year went by really fast, imagine where Eric will be in ten years,” Fez said.
                          Eric’s crappy future, ten years later…
The Vista Cruiser rolled into the Forman driveway in the late afternoon. Eric and Donna exited the car, dressed in Star Trek outfits, coming home from a convention. Eric wore the traditional fleet command uniform while Donna sported a black wig and red general commander dress.
“Thank you for coming to the Star Trek convention with me…Uhura.”
“You can call me Donna now,” she said displeased and walked into the house.
“That’s good, Fez,” Kelso said,  coming back to present time. “But I think it’s going to be more like this…”
                          Eric’s crappy future, ten years from now…
The Vista Cruiser rolled into the Forman driveway in the late afternoon. Eric and Donna exited the car, dressed in Star Wars outfits, coming home from a convention. Eric dressed as Luke Skywalker and Donna dressed in the familiar gown and rolled side buns.
“Thank you for coming to the Star Wars convention…Leia,” Eric said proudly.
“You can call me Donna now,” she said and shuffled back into the house.
“No, you’re both wrong,” Hyde said, smirking. “It’ll be more like this…”
The Vista Cruiser once again rolled into the Forman driveway. The doors to the car opened, Eric jumping out and rounding the car.
“Thanks for coming to the convention with me…Leia,” he said.
Kitty got out of the car and walked over to Eric wearing Leia’s gown and her hair in the same style. She stared at him displeased. “You can call me Mom now.” She hurried inside, eager to get out of the itchy costume.
The gang laughed at Hyde’s theory, upsetting Eric.
“Whoa!” Eric screeched, jumping off the couch.
“They’re just joking around, Eric,” Donna said calmly. “It’s funny.”
“No, it’s not!” he defended, inching towards the stairs. “In fact,…it’s completely possible!” He bounded up the stairs, freaking out.
Y/n laughed and high-fived her husband. “Nice.”
                              A few moments later…
“All of my friends are on career paths. Even Kelso. Kelso! The kid who thinks N.A.T.O is Japanese for neato,” Eric ranted to his parents who sat in the kitchen. Red was reading the newspaper and Kitty was reading a magazine.
“You know it’s just not fair,” Red said, sarcasm heavy in his tone. “You sleep late, you watch TV all day…the job offers should be pouring in.”
“Why don’t you look into that chiropractic school I suggested?” Kitty asked. “They’re having an enrollment seminar. You know, being a chiropractor is a very prestigious job. Even if you move somewhere where there’s no real doctors.”
“Well, I guess chiropractor is as good as anything I've come up with. I have wasted an entire year doing absolutely nothing.”
“Hey, how bout a job stating the obvious?” Red asked, giving Eric a fake smile. “Because you’re really good at that!”
                                             Later…
“So, you’re going to the school, huh?” Y/n asked as they once again gathered in the basement. This time, Markus had joined them who was sitting next to Jackie and Y/n on the couch, with his arm around her. “When do you start?”
“Well, they start Monday, so…probably then,” Eric responded sarcastically.
“Want me to come with you?” Donna asked.
“Wait, really?” Eric asked and turned to his girlfriend.
“Yeah. I think it’d be fun.”
“Awe, you’re such a good girlfriend,” Fez cooed before pretending to gag.
“What was that about?” Hyde asked, leaning back in his usual chair.
“All of you are in loving relationships and I’m over here more single than a freakin’ pringle,” he responded bitterly.
“Hey, I’m single too,” Kelso piped up from the lawn chair.
“Yeah, but knowing you, you’ll have a new girlfriend in, like, five minutes,” Fez replied and slumped on the couch. "I'm going to die alone."
"No, you're not,” Y/n comforted, rubbing his shoulder. “You’ll find someone.”
“Why are you lying?” Eric asked.
“Eric!”
“Yeah,” Jackie agreed with Eric. “He is one freaky, horny little dude.”
“Just ask the couch,” Hyde added in.
“I’m right here!” Fez whined. “Can’t even have the decency to wait until I walk out the room!”
“Jackie, what did we talk about comforting friends?” Markus asked, like he was talking to a toddler.
Jackie looked at the ground. “Don’t be mean.”
“And?”
Jackie rolled her eyes and sighed. “And if I can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”
Markus nodded and looked up to everyone. “We’re working on talking nicely to others.”
“Wow,” Eric said amazed. “I like him. Can he stay?”
“Don’t listen to them, Fez,” Donna said. “They’re just being jerks.”
“Hey, I have an idea,” Y/n said. “Why don’t one of us set you up?”
“How?” Fez asked. “Do you know anybody?”
“Wait, wait…you’re not going to set up a party with all women are you?” Hyde said. “Because that was annoying.”
“No, no. Something better than that,” Y/n said. “Donna, are there any single ladies at the radio station?”
“The only lady we have there is the receptionist and she’s eighty-eight years old,” she responded.
“Is she single?” Fez asked seriously.
“She’s a widow…does that count?”
“Hm, no,” he shook his head and sat back. “I don’t want to be second choice.”
“That’s what’s stopping you?” Eric asked. “Not the fact that she’s seventy years older than you?”
“Yeah, and you won’t be able to have sex without thinking she’s going to break a hip,” Kelso said. “Or a heart attack.”
“Okay, gross,” Y/n said. “Anyone else that knows a single girl?”
“Well, I mean there’s Simpson from the police academy,” Kelso said.
“No, we all know how that turned out,” Y/n said and turned to her husband. “Do you know anyone at the store?”
“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Eric asked.
“Do you know anyone from staying at home all day?” his twin sassed. “Oh, yeah, you must’ve met someone at the Bum Factory.”
“Damn, did you have bitch flakes this morning?”
“Yeah, along with your sitting-on-your-ass-all-day scrambled eggs,” she snipped.
“Is this about what happened earlier?” Eric asked. “I already said I was sorry!”
“What else would it be?!”
“What happened earlier?” Hyde asked, scrunching his eyebrows together.
“Your idiot brother-in-law happened!”
“It wasn’t that bad!” Eric argued.
“If it wasn’t, then I wouldn’t be pissed!”
“You’re so dramatic!”
“Will you two shut up and just tell us what happened?” Hyde snapped. “I need to know if it’s funny so I can make fun of you or kick your ass. It depends.”
“It was just a slice of cake!” Eric said, turning his attention back to Y/n.
“The last slice!” she cried out.
“Just go buy a cake,” Jackie said calmly. “What’s so special about this one?”
“My mom made it! And no one else can make it as good as she can!” Y/n said.
“She probably puts kalua in it,” Jackie said. “She taught me how to make fudge once, and she said kalua was the secret recipe. That’s when I learned that she may have a bit of a drinking problem.”
“Shut up, Jackie. You’re not making it any better,” Y/n said angrily.
“Well, damn. Pregnancy has made you bitchier than before,” Jackie said and got up from the couch to grab a popsicle.
“I’m sure she’ll make it again,” Donna said. “If you ask her nicely, I bet she will.”
“No,” Y/n whined and leaned her head against the headrest of the couch. “I want it now.”
“God, you’re needy,” Eric said. “When are you going to stop?”
“When I get some damn chocolate!” she replied.
“Okay, would it be better if I ran to the store and got you something similar?” Hyde offered. “Anything to make you happy so you can stop whining?”
“I second that,” Eric said.
“No, Eric should go buy it for me,” she pouted. “He’s the one that ate my cake. And he should buy me Fatso Burger because I’m hungry. I’ll call it square then.”
“But I don’t have any money!” he whined.
“That sounds like a you problem,” Y/n said. “Want me to quit being needy? Get me food.”
“Well, why don’t you borrow money from Hyde?” Kelso asked, ignoring the fact that Hyde was moving his hand sharply against his throat, saying to stop. Talking. “Hyde has a lot of it!”
“What?” Y/n asked, looking at Kelso. “Steven and I don’t have a lot of money.”
“Of course, he does!” he continued, still ignoring Hyde as he was now waving his hands.
Y/n looked behind her and Steven stopped quickly, pretending he was just as confused.
“Steven, what’s he talking about?” she asked.
“I have no idea,” he replied. He glared at Kelso through his aviators and when his wife turned back around, he mouthed: Shut. Up.
“Yes, you do!” Kelso said. At this point he was amused and continued. “You’ve been telling me that you’ve been stashing money in your secret savings.”
“In your what?!” Y/n screeched.
“No, no, Kelso doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Hyde defended. “He’s talking nonsense from his concussion.”
Kelso scrunched his eyebrows together. “I don’t have a concu—”
Before he could finish his sentence, Hyde threw a soda can at his head. It flew across the room at an impressive speed and smacked Kelso right in the face. No one moved as it was a day-to-day occurrence. At this point, even Markus was desensitized.
“Ow, my eye!” Kelso yelled, dropping to the floor.
“Wow, that was incredibly fast,” Donna said.
“That’s gonna leave a mark,” Jackie commented, covering her mouth with her fist.
“Hyde, you jerk!” Kelso yelled, stumbling back up to his feet. “I’m going to have a black eye and picture day at the academy is tomorrow!”
“First off: Kelso, here,” Y/n said and grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and tossed it across the room. It thumped against his chest before he caught it and pressed it against his face. “And now you,” she growled at her husband. “A secret savings?! Are you kidding me?!”
“It’s not so much of a secret savings as—” he started, now standing from his seat but was interrupted.
“How much is in it?” she asked, her eyes burning a hole in his head.
“Not much,” he replied. “And it doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter?!” she yelled, angrier than before. “You’re hiding money from me!”
“Actually, you said you have about two grand—” Kelso began but was cut off by Hyde.
“Do you want me to blacken the other eye?!” he barked at him.
“Two thousand dollars?!” Y/n screamed. “I can’t believe this! Do you have any idea what we can do with that money?”
“Yes, that’s why it’s in there!” Hyde yelled back.
“Now, does this happen every day?” Markus whispered to Jackie.
“No…no this is not,” she whispered back.
“What do you mean that’s why it’s in there?!” Y/n asked, bringing everyone’s attention back on them. “Why are you hiding it from me?!”
“Because of…reasons,” Hyde said.
“Reasons like what?! You don’t trust me?”
“No, I don’t!” he yelled back.
 "The air in the room dropped. It was like it was sucked out, leaving everyone completely breathless. Y/n felt like she had been punched in the gut.
She was so hurt and angry that she couldn’t speak. She stared at him as the silence grew louder. He refused to break eye contact with her, but his body language—turned halfway away from her and his hands on his hips—said he regretted what he told her.
After what felt like an eternity, Y/n finally broke eye contact and stomped her way upstairs without saying another word. After a minute of still silence, Markus decided to speak up.
“So…what else do you guys do for fun?”
“And this is where we’ve talked about speaking in awkward moments,” Jackie said from the corner of her mouth.
Fez sat there, frowning. "Are we supposed to just forget about my problem?!”
Taglist: @not-shy-nanya @taysirene @maddieschampagneproblems @mdittyz123 @undead-sierra @random-thoughts-004 @lieswithoutfairytales @chloem4a1 @srhxpc @zhonglibxitch
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fbpanimations · 3 days ago
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Okay wait new wild west au lore i just thought of 2 seconds ago
Nickel dies on one of the bounty hunts silver sends the gunsmokes on, which gives knife the final push he needs to just ditch the town. Yinyang doesnt want to come with him, and they both split off.
Knife stays at hotel oj for a while to formulate his plan. He already knew suitcase pretty well from how frequently he stays there, and they end up falling in love (which they both keep quiet about cuz thats awkward as fuck considering the circumstances). He asks her to leave with him, but she says she cant just give up this life.
Meanwhile silver ends up hearing about knifes plan due to yinyang accidentally telling candle, and finds knife at the hotel. They threaten to kill suitcase if knife leaves town since him and yinyang still work for him. Knife and suitcase end up escaping the hotel, and silver sends yinyang to go hunt them both down. They reluctantly agree, and go to find them.
Knife and suitcase dont make it very far before yinyang finds them. Knife tries to remind him that theyre on the same side, but yinyang is too scared of silver to back down from the mission. Them and knife have a shoot out, and knife ends up dying. Yinyang brings suitcase back to the hotel, and the body back to silver.
Not 100% sure what happens after that cuz i kinda wanna connect this to the blueberry plot but idk if thatd work and im tired of typing lmao !! Thanks for reading this infodump ig lol
Oh btw this was all mostly inspired by this song, of which i do not know the context
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rezcowgirl · 28 days ago
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Ooo, back into the grieving. Back into the never ending winter eulogy. And a part of me doesn’t want it to end. Don’t want to grow around the grief. Don’t want to forget anything. (But I know I am. To both.)
Won’t forget her DJing while dressed up as Neil Tennant from the Go West music video.
Won't forget her craning her head out of the window of the speeding car to literally yell at trees “Fuck yeah! You’re why we moved here!! Mountains! TREEEEES!”.
Won’t forget when we spent a winter weekend together shivering around Victoria because our prairie blood wasn’t quite adapted to the wet kind of cold yet. We finished our Victoria adventure together by getting burritos at 11pm. My last text to her ever was: “You know that burrito you said I couldn’t possibly finish? Well. I did.”
She responded “You are a champ”.
I used to love winter. December baby. I love the cold and snow. I don’t even mind the lack of sunlight (I probably still love you, winter, but you should be nicer to me).
Now there’s always this creeping grief when the days get shorter and we end November with the usual punch in the face that knocks both Aries and I completely on our asses. And then it’s December and we get to do it all over again.
Our world ended once. A dark solstice morning of “oh my god oh my god” in the most honest way we ever said it because there’s nothing else, there’s nothing else, there’s no other grief words that fit except that kind of cosmic pleading. We were in the car at sunrise sobbing on the phone asking where? where? Was it three bodies? (their dog. Their dog died, too). We were the only ones near enough to reach them. And I can still make myself sick when I think about it, of: “it was quick”, of: “she wouldn’t know”, of: “there was no pain,” of: “you can see him now, he’s awake” and his quiet “she died” and our “we know. We love you. (please. Please don’t die, too)” 
Here we are. Still. With all the leftover love she can never get. 
Once upon a time 7 years ago I lost someone I loved very much. And there were so many weeks that followed sitting behind an intensive care door with a grieving mother and father not convinced their son was going to make it. Her husband did survive. When it was clear he was going to live, we told his elderly parents to go back to the prairies - we got this, go, go. Go grieve her properly. They were so tired. 
We finally wheeled him the fuck out of there. Aries almost hit his healing legs on the elevator door because we were moving so quickly and we laughed too hard about it because you have to take what you can get. I emptied the piss from his commode. I helped set up the GoFundMe for the ramp installation. I didn’t hate this part. I felt useful. Tangible things to grasp onto while we stumbled through it.
I hate this part.
When she died, we didn’t all make it out. Her brother died by suicide after. And I get it. I get it. Losing her almost did me in, too. And I didn’t grow up with her bright big-sister babyface. I can’t imagine.
There’s this photo of him in front of his birthday cake and there’s a memorial photo of J. just behind him on the mantle. And every fucking November I see it, I know it’s coming, I know it’s coming because it’s one of the last photos they have of him alive and it’s his birthday. And what haunts me the most is it is also one of the last photos of J. alive there in the background, too.
I spent some of Monday and some of Tuesday crying. Better than the usual full day ordeals. Attempting any planning of our nuptials and of my friend's 50th birthday without J. still feels fake. Unfair. Depressing. I think I need to up my meds.
Sometimes Aries and I just have to lay on the couches across from one another and watch each other breathe. It’s just a listless, wordless kind of haunting if we let it set in, but on the other end of it, it’s: I’m still here. You’re still here. Let’s live. Let’s work it out.
The reason I kiss my friends now is because of you. The reason I throw ridiculous birthday parties is because of you. The reason I call them all beloved, dearest, babe, is because of you. The reason I write all these love letters is because of you. 
You loved me while I was still holding my cards close to my chest. To be that way at first, slow to warm, guarded, gave me absolutely nothing except wasted time I could have spent being your friend for longer. I won’t make that mistake ever again.
Ah. And this weekend is also the memorial dance party for a different friend, one that I barely got to know because we only met earlier this year. Shit sucks. 
But I’m going to have a good time because it is quite literally the only thing he ever asked of me. And J. was a hooligan, always trying to get me out dancing.
(If I had assless chaps, I’d wear them for you, Santi.)
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aniron48 · 2 years ago
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Love Letters - Day 7
Welcome to Day 7 of Love Letters, a 00q choose your own adventure! We are in the final stretch now--there will be one more poll tomorrow night, and then we'll wrap on Tuesday, 2/14 around 9:15ish EST.
If you're joining for the first time, you can catch up here: Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6
And if you've been voting with us all along, finally--finally--you've unlocked Eve Moneypenny! Well done, chaos muppets. Day 7 starts below the cut. 💜
He didn’t know what had brought Moneypenny to Bath, but it was imperative that he follow her and find out.
Bond waited in the shadow of a newsstand, pretending to look at magazines, until Moneypenny came out of the patisserie, carrying a small pink box wrapped in twine. After a moment, he began to follow, taking care to stay out of her line of sight. This close to the river, the February air had a wet chill to it that made Bond grateful for the scarf he’d brought with him from London. He wrapped it closer around his neck, taking care to arrange it so that it would further obscure his face from view if Moneypenny turned around.
He followed her south for awhile, and then west, toward the Pulteney Bridge. As Bond dodged patrons coming out of a coffee shop, Moneypenny suddenly turned down an alley behind one of the shops.
Bond picked up his pace, trying not to lose her. When he turned the corner, he found Moneypenny aiming a gun at him. Again.
“Once wasn’t enough, Moneypenny?”
“Jesus, Bond,” Moneypenny said, lowering her weapon. “You might want to consider redoing your surveillance training. I realized I had a tail three whole blocks ago. What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I might ask you the same thing.”
“I’m meeting someone.”
“Meeting whom, exactly? Did Mallory send you?”
“There you are, Eve,” said a voice from behind them. “Have you seen—“ Tanner stopped in his tracks. “Oh. Bond.”
“All right, what’s going on?”
Tanner opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Moneypenny grabbed him by the hand. “Fine. You’ve caught us. We’re having a bit of a lover’s holiday.”
Tanner looked from Moneypenny’s face to their joined hands and back again before saying, “Yes. A lover’s holiday.”
“I thought you were seeing that redhead in accounting. Brenna something.” Bond said.
“Yes, well, that’s why we’re sneaking around in Bath. Tanner hasn’t broken it off yet. Poor thing, she’s going to be devastated when she finds out.”
“Oh my god,” Tanner said faintly.
“But people bounce back. Brenda will bounce back, Tanner.”
“It’s Brenna.”
“Anyway, Bond, I don’t think you ever told us while you were here.” Moneypenny folded her arms.
Bond folded his arms back at her. “I’m here to buy Q a Valentine’s Day present. He’s been on about Bath since he watched Persuasion with you.”
“So you’re here to buy him—what, exactly?”
Bond reached for the first thing that came to mind. “A snow globe, if you must know. Of the city.”
“That’s surprisingly sweet. Let’s see it.”
“I haven’t bought it yet. I’m still looking.”
“Luckily for you, there’s a souvenir shop just around the corner,” Moneypenny said breezily. “Shall we go together?”
Twenty minutes later found Bond driving back to London with an extortionately-priced snow globe featuring a replica of the Bath Circus, and Tanner and Moneypenny crammed into the passenger seat of the DB8.
“We really could have taken the train back, Bond,” Tanner said.
“Really,” Moneypenny added, turning away to tap out a message on her mobile, accidentally elbowing Tanner in the stomach as she did so.
“Nonsense,” said Bond. “I insist. This will be much quicker. I know it’s a squeeze, but you lovebirds don’t mind a bit of a cuddle, do you?”
“Not at all,” Moneypenny said, smiling in a way that suggested she’d quite like to cut his brake lines.
“Unless there’s a reason you wanted to take the train, of course. If there is, just let me know, and I can drive you back to the station.”
“Well—“ Tanner began.
“No, no reason,” Moneypenny said. “I’m sure we’ll all enjoy the drive.”
“I know I will,” said Bond. He pulled up the music app on his phone, searched for the album entitled “Scotland: Bagpipe Classics,” and hit play.
Back in London, he dropped Tanner and Moneypenny in front of her building. Before they could walk away, however, Bond rolled down the driver’s side window. 
“Moneypenny,” he called after her. “Why were you and Tanner really in Bath?”
She walked back to the car and bent down to look in the window. “You first. I want the truth, Bond. Were you really there for Q?”
“Yes, I was. I can promise you that.”
She studied him for a minute, before saying, “Then let’s just say we have a mutual interest.”
She turned and walked away, lifting a hand in farewell.
Two days later, Bond received a package in the mail. It was a small, narrow box wrapped in brown paper, addressed to Bond in Q’s unmistakeable handwriting, and bearing a postmark from Bath.
Inside the box was an elegant fountain pen, the same cloudy-grey color as the Aston Martin, with the initials ‘JHB’ engraved on it in a looping monogram.
It couldn’t be.
Bond examined the pen from every angle, taking care not to drop or shake it, even though surely Q wouldn’t have sent the pen through the Royal Mail if it contained explosives.
At least, Bond didn’t think. 
He ran his fingers over the pen one more time, feeling for a catch or a hidden button, but aside from its beauty, the pen appeared to be unremarkable. Unless—yes. There it was.
There's no way I'd let you accidentally blow up Bond right before the end of this choose your own adventure, right? *OR WOULD I...???* 😁
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nervousladytraveler · 2 years ago
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Okay, it's not Wednesday anymore. But @veryflowerobservation asked for this on a Wednesday so that's close enough. From an as yet undisclosed WIP.
-------
Demelza opened her eyes and saw the familiar ceiling beams running east to west overhead.  Then she turned her head slightly and saw the less familiar striped sheets. She started to sit up but had to dig her way out of a pile of duvets and other blankets.
“Hey, you’re awake.” Ross leaned against the doorjamb, his strong arms folded across his chest. His voice was soft and his eyes had that attentive and shining look they sometimes took on. Usually when he was feeling deeply--regardless of the feeling.
“Ross!” She hadn’t realised how much she wanted to see him--needed it really. She wished he was closer. “I don’t remember coming to bed at all,” she said.
“You fell asleep by the fire last night. Barely finished your supper in fact.”
“You should have woken me,” she said.
“It didn’t seem right. You clearly were exhausted.”
“Tell me you didn't have to carry me.“ She attempted a smile, as she tried to piece together a memory of the previous night.
“Not quite.” He shook his head and laughed ever so gently. “But I did take the liberty to help you undress before I tucked you in.”
She felt the soft long sleeved t-shirt she was wearing and knew from its size and its smell that it belonged to him.
“I didn’t displace you, did I?” She gasped at the thought. 
“No, I slept beside you. I assumed you wouldn’t mind.”
She turned her head to the indentation still visible on his pillow.
“Of course not,” she whispered but only managed to choke out the words. She suddenly felt overwrought, as though she might cry. 
It was so much--too much. Ross’s gentle attentiveness, his dark eyes, his low voice, the smell he left on the bedclothes, the warmth that surged through her entire body. So familiar and also so new.  
“I was going to make you some breakfast but wasn’t sure what you’d want. I’ve made some coffee but I can make you some tea. Anything you want. I’m just really happy to see you this morning--that you’re still here,” he added.
“Oh Ross…” She could control it no more--the tears came and wouldn’t stop. “Could you...will you not hold me?”
He made it across the room in two long strides. He was beside her and his arms wrapped around her tightly and then he laughed as he kissed her temple gently. 
“You’re still knackered, aren’t you? You can stay in bed all day if you’d like,” he said. “Unless…you have other plans?”
“No, no, I don’t have to work again until Tuesday,” she said but then wondered if that’s what he meant. Was he poking around to see if she had other dates lined up? She thought she should tell him she had no intention of seeing others. But now didn't seem like the right time to talk about fidelity. That was a bigger discussion, years overdue. “I’m so sorry I ruined our Christmas Eve together,” she added.
“You ruined nothing. You came, when you had a hundred reasons not to, you took a chance--and for that I am forever grateful.”
“I had a hundred reasons to come as well,"she said and took his hand in hers. "Ross, I did sleep very well. Thank you.”
“Maybe you slept so well because...you knew you were somewhere safe and familiar.” 
They both caught that he’d stopped himself short of saying home.
“I think you’re right,” she said and rested her head against his chest. “Ross? It seems so warm in here,” she said suddenly.
“Is it too warm?”
“No, I mean. It just seems warmer...than the last time I was here.”
“I had the furnace replaced a few years ago. The new one is far more efficient and actually heats the house instead of just consuming fuel,” he laughed. “I guess that means you don't want me to build a fire?”
“Maybe not now. But later for sure. Livin’ in town, I miss the smell of wood smoke.” She inhaled deeply then sighed contently.
“Demelza, you never told me what you want,” he said.
She looked shocked, her mouth gaped open in that silly but charming way it did when she was younger. She narrowed her eyes, then swallowed.
“What I want?” she stammered. “Can’t I just say for now that I don’t know, but that I am sure I want you?” Her shoulders hunched, her eyes were soft and wet--whether that was the remains of tears or sleepy residue wasn’t apparent to either of them.
For the second time that morning he matched her emotional fragility with laughter. Now he gave a deep chuckle that was so friendly and warm there was no way it could be mistaken for mockery. At the sound of his familiar and powerful laugh, her eyes grew wide to match her incredulous smile. Again he wrapped his arms around her and crushed her tightly to him.
“Oh, Demelza,” he laughed into her hair. “Oh, my love, I want you too.” He squeezed her again then let his lips graze her temple, his most intimate of gestures. “But what I meant was…” He looked into her eyes and smiled. “Do you want coffee or tea?”
Now she laughed too. 
“Coffee please. But let me help you…”
“Uh uh uh, you stay right there. A little milk, right?”
“Yes, And Ross...thank you. For everythin’.”
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n41r · 10 months ago
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Oh shoot, are you doing okay there? Hope you don't experience any stomachaches and doing well now, even though on bad prophecy yesterday-
I brought in good news if it can make your day a bit better, in fact an Oreca Battle machine was discovered! It's on Amazone AEON BSD at the third floor, specifically at Tangerang. There's only one machine there and last I visited this Tuesday, it's at New Chapter 1 where Robot Type Zero appears! The light seems to be doing well but it's on the left corner instead on the right, so it's better to bring a flashlight for the machine to scan the cards properly. Printer wise though, well... It needs to be checked daily to see if it works properly, from what I got on asking the arcade staff and I used the trick on seeing how many cards the machine can print out from your post (thank you for showing the trick-), and it turns out it can print about 500 cards. The pricing on weekdays for regulars are 15.900 and for VIP are 14.250
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Funny enough, I got a card printed out in all yellow two weeks ago before this Tuesday- It's just one battle where there's one 2☆ Ares on both my team and the enemy team and both of them used Fervor!, so... probably the two of them are way too heated up in battle to the point of affecting the printer's ink not working XD
Also, also! The staff said that the updates at the arcade are slow so no New Chapter 2 for the time being, but the staff also told me that there could be some places where the updates are at New Chapter 1 or 2 up till New Chapter 4. Again, not sure if it's confirmed or not so just hearing it reached New Chapter 4 just makes me a bit glad on the updates is still happening even though really slow at times-
I am currently doing fine, even tho my stomach still grumbling a little bit-
BUT OH MY GOSH, WHAT A GREAT AND JOYOUS NEW YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!!!
AEON Mall BSD is actually one of the places I set my eyes on visiting if I ever come back to West Java, and I'm very surprised and happy to not only hear you've visited them, but also found an Oreca Battle machine there! Sounds like the machine is on pretty good condition, and 500 cards are pretty plenty!
Also, very interesting to hear that they are still at New Chapter 1 If fortune could befell us, maybe they are planning on releasing it slowly with Enki's limited time event on New Chapter 2??? The chances are slim, but we could hope, right???
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Also, RIP to the respective Ares teammates on that battle, that must have been one fiery battle-
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iantimony · 2 years ago
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tuesday!
listening: like everyone and their mother i listened to the new hozier songs this week. they're fine! i dont have any particularly strong feelings about them either way yet, i think i need to relisten to them a few times for it to really get processed, but they were good enough that i'll certainly listen again. i also went and relistened to wasteland, baby because of it and that album still slaps. also, this cherry wine cover:
is very good. i also relistened to the staves' album dead & born & grown because i realized i have windows facing west hehe. what else...my partner's citypop playlist was my music for driving home from the airport on sunday? i wont link that one i'm not sure if it's public or not. and then gym playlist this week was just one of the spotify-made mixes that kinda slams tbh, very early-00s to 10s metal/emo music lol
i've also gotten back into twilight mirage after a bajillion years. it's good! none of the characters really stick in my head besides tender sky and fourteen fifteen unfortunately but hopefully as i listen more they'll become more distinct entities in my head.
reading: i finished the birthday of the world while i was visiting my grandma for spring break!
"solitude": hmmm. this one was interesting. it left me with a lot of questions but i think that might have been the point. 6/10.
"old music and the slave woman": i think i might have benefited from more background, i was mostly able to piece together the factions but i definitely had to puzzle over it a bit. apparently there are a lot of links to stories in another collection, four ways to forgiveness, and i'm thinking that i might have wanted to read those first. 4/10.
"the birthday of the world": title story! felt very different from all the other stories in the book, probably because this one and the following novella are the only two set outside of the hainish universe. i liked it. no strong feelings in any particular direction, i don't think. 5/10.
"paradises lost": the novella! i LOVED this one. i dont know if i was somehow exposed to it as a kid, or i learned about generation ships as a story concept from somewhere else, but i often thought about writing a short story about what religion on a generation ship would look like and turns out what i was envisioning already exists. the concept of the cult of bliss felt very realistic and almost obvious in hindsight as something that was bound to happen. i know it's left open on purpose but i reallllly want to know what happened to the ship after it left. i really loved the themes of this one. 9/10.
watching: i watched an episode of the mystery show 'vera' with my grandma when i was visiting lol. it was cute! very kitschy, genre fodder! i liked it! i was very confused because the closing quip/shot seemed to be about the titular character...shoplifting a jacket or something???? like she asked her coworker if she looked any different and he was like ? and she was like ok great and the final shot is her sitting in her car seat and annoyedly ripping the tag off her jacket, so like, ???? not sure if that's a Thing that people know just from watching a lot of it but shrug.
making: iiiiii did not work on my knitting project at all LOL but i did make my neocities site! here she is! still very in progress but hey :D
misc: trip to visit grandma/s and family went fine! everyone is doing well. back to the grind this week.
oh so the gift from my SO: he likes metalworking and similar things so he made me this necklace!
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it is, apparently, titanium with embedded sapphire ball bearings! the ball bearings glow in the dark after UV exposure and they're the prettiest shade of teal, it's also a very satisfying fidget texture-wise. he asked me a few months ago what my favorite constellation is and i went "......cassiopeia i guess?? why???" "oh no reason" this was the reason. it's very nice i love it so much
finally, ive started noting down my workout stuff on my dreamwidth page as well! i thought it could be cool to keep track of what weights i'm using over time, what exercises i like and don't like, etc. so that's on there tagged as gains. huzzah
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therealityhelix · 1 year ago
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By Talos, This Can't be Happening pt 34
Happy Tamriel Tuesday! The Fighter's Guild is experiencing problems! Who would have guessed?
@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions
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The Fighter's Guild was not much friendlier in Skingrad, but at least it wasn't his fault this time. A scant handful of people stood clustered together, one-an elf woman-shaking a folded paper at the others.
“It says he defaulted! Defaulted! Who defaults on a contract this easy? Why would he go around telling people he's defaulted? Doesn't he understand how that makes us look?”
“Complaining about money again, I'll bet.” A tall, russet Argonian growled. “As if we don't all take home the same pay for the same work. If he actually did anything, perhaps he would not be so beset by money problems.”
“Guest.” An olive complected man murmured. The Argonian's head snapped up to look at him.
“Heyyy...” Swag gave a little four fingered wave. “Am I interrupting something? Because I can leave.”
“No, no!” the Argonian called. “It's not that important. Come in!”
“Not that-!” the elf woman began indignantly. The Argonian cut her off.
“So, are you looking to join the Guild?” the Argonian asked quickly. “Or perhaps a recruit on the road? We have bed space, if that's what you need. I am Ah-Malz. This is Fadus, and Parwen.”
“Edward. I joined up in Chorrol.” No need to bring up the circumstances.
“Oh, under Vilena herself? They're friendly in Chorrol.”
“Sure.”
“Anyway, you come to get some carnage under your belt? Round here, we hunt goblins. They're everywhere in Colovia. Most of our jobs involve them in some way or another.”
More goblins. He didn't really like that. Yeah, they were trouble. They raided farms, set up ambushes on the roads, tried to tunnel into cities. They killed people. But he couldn't help but think of the cave he and Sky had whirled through like a tornado, The goblin mage on the road dropping like a sack of potatoes with Helix's arrow between its shoulders. She hadn't hesitated.
They were so easy to kill, and he didn't like that. If it was easy, it could get to become a habit. They weren't human, sure, but neither was the Argonian. Or the elf. Or the orc brothers back in Chorrol. It didn't make it okay. When they were enemies, you had to fight back, but that still didn't actually make it okay. Just a bad time for everybody.
“Eh, well, I've had some experience with goblins, yeah. Only signed up like a week or so ago, though, so I'm still getting my feet under me.”
“Oh, you'll run into more if you stay in the area.” Ah-Malz assured. “Me and Parwen have a tally going-”
“Malz, we don't have time for this!” Parwen scolded. “We've got to do something about Maglir!”
“And what do you propose, Wennie?” Ah-Malz asked. “We break down the door of the inn and drag him out by the ears?”
“Maybe.” Fadus said quietly.
“You know he'd just run if he saw any of us.” Parwen grumped. “He knows he's in trouble. He'll bolt the instant he sees us in the window.”
Three sets of musing eyes settled on him, and Swag saw the future.
“Yeah, okay. I'll go get him. Not gonna recognize me, huh? Where is he and what does he look like?”
The West Weald Inn was a crowded place, deceptively large on the inside, like the rest of the towns buildings. It was cozy, warm, and full of people, and one of them was Helix. He spotted her curled bob and goblin skull staff at the bar, the woman behind it pointing towards a door on the far wall.
“Hey baby, come here often?” he teased sliding up next to her.
“Nah, hot stuff, I'm new in town. Maybe you can show me around.” she teased back. “But first, looks like I found that alchemist they mentioned back at Fort Virtue.”
“Hey great! I got sent to shake down an awol fighter. It think it's that shortstack over there.”
His eyes had landed on a short, broad figure in dented iron armor, sitting by himself next to a window he kept glaring suspiciously out.
“Oh, that sounds like a pain. Have fun!”
“Can I get you something?” the woman behind the bar asked, as he watched Helix slip into the cellar.
“Hmm. Got anything non-alcoholic? Aw, c'mon.” he said at her condescending stare. “I made a promise, all right?”
Swag approached Maglir's table with a large mug of mulled grape juice-a specialty of the town. It turned out the barkeep wasn't mad that he dared to repudiate drunkenness in her establishment, it was that she thought he was an idiot for not knowing. Skingrad was famous for its grapes and tomatoes specifically; everybody had juice.
And now, so did he.
“Hey man, this spot taken?” he asked, and the elf glared up at him.
To Maglir, Swag probably wouldn't look like anything more than just another traveler passing through. He was all long thin lines, an exclamation point of a man, and he was aware of it. Even his armor was the lightest possible, and not yet broken in. With his distinctive hairstyle and handsome face, the rings in his ears and question mark pendant, he probably looked like more of a poseur than anything.
The elf grunted and glanced back out the window.
Swag set down his drink and took a seat.
“I only ask 'cause it seems like you're looking for someone.” he said.
“No one you're likely to know. What do you want, anyway?”
“A place to sit next to the window. My girl's wanting to talk to the alchemist here, so I might be waiting for a while.”
“Huh. Sounds like my wife when she gets into the fabric shop.”
“Ah. Looking for some time away?” Swag asked, nodding knowingly. Maglir shook his head.
“No, that's not it. She's lovely, really. Better than I deserve.”
“I know that feeling.”
“It's just that things are rough recently, and the assassination has made things many times worse.”
“Oh?” Swag raised one eyebrow. “Rough? Like, you havin' trouble getting work?”
Maglir scoffed.
“Work? Oh, yes, I can get work. What I can't get is pay! Look at this!”
The elf tossed a folded note across the table at him. He plucked it up and read over the contents.
“...A journal? Just that? A journal left in a cave? Who leaves a journal in a cave?”
“I don't know! Some fool mage, a hermit, a philosopher. Somebody did. I even went out there to get it, like a good little boot, and you know what I found?”
“Bats?”
“Monsters! Gobs of em! Barely even saw them, but almost lost my head! They sent me out there alone, into a cave full of monsters. It's like they want their recruits to die!”
“Who's they?” Swag asked. “Just so I can watch my back, you know?”
“Fighter's guild. I swear, you adventurers don't know much about organization, do you?”
“Nah, we fly by the seat of our pants. So what I'm getting', and correct me if I'm wrong, but your Fighter's Guild sent you out by yourself to get a lost book. Simple soundin' job on the face of it, but when you got there, it was way worse than you thought it'd be, so you came back and...gave up?”
Maglir grimaced.
“Doesn't sound good when you put it that way. More like I refuse to leave my children without a father because of some fool's errand. It used to be they'd send out two or even three of us for a job that dangerous! And the pay was better too. Now they spread us thin and throw us scraps. Hasn't been the same since the Donton boy died.”
Donton? Vilena's son? The boy had been alive when they'd left Chorrol, had something happened in the meantime?
“So basically, it's a strike.”
“So basically, I'm not going to die for a soggy book and a scant handful of coin. No, someone else can do this. You can do this, I don't care.”
Swag tucked the note into his belt. He wasn't sure he wanted to go into a monster infested cave in search of a soggy book either. But he could return the contract to the Guild at least.
Maglir complained for a while longer before finishing his drink and eventually leaving, but he left Swag with some interesting tidbits.
The Fighter's guild was on a downturn. They'd been losing recruits, taking bad contracts, losing good contracts. A rival organization was rising to challenge them. Vilena Donton had two sons, but not anymore, and after the loss of the eldest, had been shirking her duties, making everything worse. The individual Guildhalls had been left isolated, and some simply didn't have the leadership to hold together.
Looked like he'd come at a bad time.
Helix slid into Maglir's vacated seat and stole a pull of Swag's drink.
“Hello beautiful. Where have you been all my life?”
“In the cellar.” she said. “Sindarion's definitely got the info I wanted, but he's stingy with it. The plant is called Nirnroot, and prefers waterside real estate. He knows a way to use it, but he won't tell me. If I find more, I'll need to bring it to him to get anything out of it.”
“So all the both of us got outta this was headaches. Oh well. It's not like we were gonna spend a whole lot of time here.”
He encouraged her to finish his juice, then they headed back out into the busy streets. The elf at the Fighter's Guild nearly tore out her hair when Swag returned the contract to them, but he just shrugged and pointed out that he had a prior obligation he had to see to before he even thought about picking anything else up.
Besides, Swag figured a group that was so gung-ho to count goblin heads could take on a cave of monsters without too much trouble. Unless, of course, they really had been setting Maglir up.
His razor was ready, and they managed to get their rations topped up, so they stopped by the Mages Guildhall for a quick lunch, and headed for the western gate.
This side of the city boasted the tomato fields, which stretched out far into the low hills, trellises of long vines laden with colorful fruits. Helix told him about the different kinds as they walked, about determinate and indeterminate varieties, and about which tomatoes were best for which culinary applications. There were far more types than he would have guessed, but Helix liked tomatoes and grew many different sorts in her garden home, so he'd seen quite a few.
He reached over the fence and plucked a deep red one.
“D'ya think you could grow this kind? In your house?” he asked.
“Unfortunately no. When we leave, we probably won't be able to take anything with us.” she said. “At least, that's how it worked last time.”
“Ah well.” Swag sliced the fruit in half and handed her a piece. “Snack for the road then.”
The road curled around the city, away from their destination, and so they stepped into the wilds at a picturesque little pond where Helix discovered another Nirnroot chiming softly between the roots of a lonely tree. The countryside here was mostly open meadows and rolling hills dotted with sparse little copses of straight, thin trees. It was very pretty; bees hummed above the flowers, and occasionally a deer or rabbit scampered off over the hilltops. This landscape felt less hostile to him than the thick forests surrounding Chorrol, but maybe that was just because he could see further. It was still just as wild and unfamiliar, but the sky was visible, and there were no deep shadows or mist for the unknown to hide in.
Which was how he was able to see the wolf coming.
It was huge and grungy, with an odd look in its eyes. At least, Swag thought it was odd; he'd never seen a wolf face to face before.
Helix loosed an arrow: it flew wide, and the wolf didn't even pause, rushing towards them too quickly for Helix to nock another arrow. Swag swung his cane. The wolf caught it in its massive jaws, wrenching it out of his hands like a dog with a stick. Yanked off his feet, he crashed to his knees, face to wild animal face.
Swag bashed it with his fist.
His gauntlets flashed with dazzling light, a miniature crack of thunder, and the wolf staggered. Flesh sagged under the fur, fell away from the creature's head.
“The actual fuck?”
“It's a zombie!” Helix cried. Shouldering her bow, she flicked her hand out flinging a lighting bolt that blasted the undead beast apart.
“Ahg, that's fucking gross!” Swag hopped to his feet, shaking zombie bits off his armor. “It's not in my hair is it? Tell me it's not in my hair.”
Helix said nothing.
“Noooo, get it off!”
He leaned down, allowing her to pluck something from his head and toss it away.
“I need a million showers, and I need them right now.”
“We could go back to that little pond.” she suggested. Swag whined, and she took his hand, leading him back.
She rested on a rock while he washed, watching the horizon.
“See anything?”
“No. But I don't like that that thing was out there. It's not normal to just find undead wandering the wilds. Especially not animals. People's skeletons and ghosts can maybe rise spontaneously from cursed gravesites or haunted battlefields, but a zombie animal has to be made. Who made it? Why was it out there?”
“Are we sure we want to find out?”
“We might not be able to avoid it.”
“Then fuck it. So...why did my hand explode when I punched that thing?”
“Lemmie see your glove.”
Swag peeled off one of Rasheda's gauntlets and handed it over. She turned it over in her hands, closely examining the joints and stitches, making thoughtful sounds.
“Well?”
“Damn good workmanship. I didn't even notice until now. She's enchanted them with shock magic. She must've really liked you.”
Swag took the glove back.
“Yeah, we got along.”
“I heard. There were a few people who really wanted me to know. Didn't seem to believe me when I said I didn't care.”
Swag scowled.
“Not our problem if they don't understand us.”
“Nah, that's a them problem.”
She took his hand and they walked through the meadow, the honey scent of sun-warmed clover just barely covering an underlying whiff of rot.
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constant-mason24 · 2 years ago
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Video Killed the Radio Star (Chapter Ten)
Riddler x f!Reader
Prev chapt | first chapt | Next chapt
“It’s an absolute pleasure to be able to speak with you on the show, Ms. Guthrie.” (Y/n) flashed a grin that was mostly fake. She sat in her usual desk chair, with her guest sitting in a more plush wingchair. It had been brought in just for her, as this was the first guest interview the station had hosted in a while.
“The pleasure is all mine, I’m honored to be invited to come and speak about the reparations from that attack.” The woman dramatically placed a hand on her cheek, as if cameras were rolling to broadcast her reaction. 
Now, (Y/n) had long since gotten over her childish dislike of the color pink. Still, she couldn’t lie: Gloria Guthrie wore an absolutely disgusting amount of the color. When she walked in and started speaking to Ryan, Amelia had even leaned over and whispered something about Dolores Umbridge not being invited to the party. Now (Y/n) couldn’t get the joke out of her head, desperately fighting off a Freudian slip so as not to offend her. 
“Yes, so to summarize for you, our dear listeners,” she spoke to the audience. “You likely remember the chemical attack launched on Gotham City’s west end last November. Our special guest today, miss Gloria Guthrie, has been assisting the labs conducting research on the plant toxins Poison Ivy used. Her generous financial donations have helped further study to create an antidote for the criminal’s various harmful substances.”
“Oh, it was such a terrifying attack!” Guthrie spoke as if she were a high school theater student reading lines in an audition. “I remember the roads being blocked off by those giant, twisted, thorned vines!”
“It was a vicious attack on the city streets. Of course, for us Gothamites, that’s just another Tuesday.” (Y/n) joked.
“That’s exactly why I wanted to donate to the research.” Guthrie’s overdramatic acting did not cease. “I hope that those hard-working scientists can create an antidote strong and plentiful enough to null any future attacks from Poison Ivy!”
“I sincerely hope for that as well. One less villain causing mayhem through the city would be a miracle for Gotham.” She nods. “Which leads me to my next point. You’ve donated to the cause against plant-based chemical warfare, but I have yet to see you aid in any other financial crusades against Gotham’s villains.”
“What?” Guthrie raises a brow in offense. “I offer money up for the good of the city and all you can ask is why I haven’t done so sooner? Forgive me, that sounds quite ungrateful!”
“You misunderstand!” (Y/n) began backpedaling, worried this interview would come to a forceful close before her grand finale. “I just want to ask you why you chose this particular cause. You could have chosen to offer your money in aid against any other criminal in Gotham, and I don’t think I’m alone when I say there are far greater threats here than Poison ivy. She is certainly strong and strong-willed, but wouldn’t you rather help to take down someone like the Joker instead?”
“Well, I have a more… personal reason to want an antidote for the plant toxins.” The woman in pink leaned back in her chair, looking more solemn than before. “It’s not the easiest topic for me to discuss, but my nephew was hit in the attack.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.” (Y/n) frowned.
“He was comatose for nearly a month, and once he was awake, he couldn’t walk or speak. That toxin has given him a lot of trouble, both mentally and physically. He’s been staying with me since the incident, and his nightmares are just awful. I can’t tell you how many times a night I wake up to his screaming.”
(Y/n) feels her heart breaking for this woman, despite her obnoxious nature. She seemed so genuinely upset by her nephew’s ailment. Taking a deep breath, she looks down at the page of keynotes in her hands. The bottom edge of the paper was folded upwards, covering the elegant green writing of the final bullet point.
“I’m genuinely so sorry to hear that. From what I’ve heard of the attack, the results have been deadly for many victims. I hope that he can recover soon.”
“So do I. That’s why I want to help S.T.A.R. labs in their search for answers. Poison Ivy may have been locked up for that assault on our city, but her victims are still suffering.”
Nodding, (Y/n) fidgets her finger over the folded edge of the paper, contemplating whether to peel it back or wait a little longer. 
“I’m sorry if this seems a little rude,” Guthrie speaks again, drawing (Y/n)’s attention up to her with raised brows. “But I’m not feeling all too well. I’m glad to have shed some light on the situation and why I’m here, but I’d like to go home if that’s okay.”
“Of course, Miss Guthrie,” she nods. “I’m sorry to have upset you. If I could just close on one last question before you go?”
This was it. Now or never. (Y/n) may have royally screwed up her chance to fulfill the Riddler’s quest by upsetting this woman accidentally. If she didn’t agree to this last question, (Y/n) was through. 
“I guess one last question is fair.” Gloria nodded. “What would that be?”
(Y/n) took another breath, moving to flip down the folded edge of the paper. As her eyes quickly glanced over the sentence, she held back a gasp. Not exactly subtle, but she supposed that was the point.
“Alone from my parliament, talons withdrawn. Strengthened by dusk but feeble by dawn.” She reads from the page, only looking up when she finished reciting the note. Gloria Guthrie was staring back at her, eyes narrow and angry. This must have hit its intended target then. 
“That isn’t exactly a question.” She says, her tone of voice failing to convey the anger on her face. 
“You’re right. My apologies. I forgot to ask the ‘Who am I?’ part.” A lie, there was no ‘Who am I?’ written on the page. (Y/n) had put some thought into getting to this point: the part of the show where she could poise the riddle to the woman as instructed. She had put no thought into how to back herself out of that corner afterward. 
“I don’t understand why you’re asking me a riddle, Miss (L/n), but the answer is an Owl. Now I’ll be saying my goodbyes.”
Amelia stepped in, to switch the station over to a song, walking Gloria Guthrie- who kept glaring at (Y/n) the entire time- out of the station. That must have been why the Riddler asked her to do this. Not only had she made it clear the Riddler was seeking Guthrie's attention, but now she was irreversibly tied to the Riddler in the Court of Owl’s eyes. Whatever the Riddler got into with them, she was sure to be dragged into it too.
What the fuck had she done?
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jodilin65 · 3 months ago
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We have survived! The old flagpole that was here when we moved in got knocked down, the car was pushed a few inches, and the AC broke—but we’re alive. Thankfully, the AC is under warranty, but we still have to pay a hundred bucks just to have someone come check it out. They can’t come until Tuesday, so I’m grateful we have the portables—one in the bedroom and another in the living room. Funny, because just the other day, I thought they were a waste of money. Now they’re lifesavers!
I’m surprised the AC broke, though. I thought we had at least 10 to 15 years before we’d have a problem. I noticed something was off as soon as I got up. I could hear it running, but there was no air coming out of the vents. But then again, I’m not that surprised. When you have money, you stay afloat like we used to, but when you’re poor, there’s no getting ahead. Moving out west to the desert to develop our own land and build a new house is starting to feel more like a fantasy than a reality. I just don’t see how we can pull it off. On top of that, I’m just not as healthy as I used to be.
Hurricane Milton wreaked havoc across Florida. It sounded scary out there at times, but all we could do was wait it out by candlelight. We were without power for 14.5 hours, and stepping out onto the lanai felt like stepping into a war zone. Nearly 20 tornadoes spawned from the storm, and it’s a good thing we didn’t go to Port St. Lucie after all! That area, Fort Pierce, and others were hit hard by the tornadoes. Even someone’s carport near the entrance was taken down. As frustrating as things are for us, it could have been much worse—we definitely couldn’t afford to fix a carport! Where we’re situated, I think tornadoes are a bigger threat than hurricanes.
At one point, there was a lull in the wind and rain, and I could hear dogs barking in the neighboring subdivision. I couldn’t believe it—who leaves their dogs outside in the middle of a fucking hurricane?! It’s bad enough to treat dogs like outdoor decor instead of pets, but to leave them out in a storm? Even though I can barely hear them down here, it amazes me that no one does anything about it. How do their owners or neighbors even sleep?
During the night, I was in touch with Irma and Toni on and off and others. It was still stressful, and I could have used some lorazepam at the time. Putting the therapist on hold for now, though. The most important thing is dealing with my sleep apnea. I have been able to get a little more sleep, which helps (until something fucks it up again). I slept a little over 7 hours yesterday, and almost 8 hours today.
Looks like Kathy decided to ghost me, even though I don’t know why. We weren’t arguing or anything. Oh, well. Her choice. Besides, nothing really surprises me these days. I don’t do do-overs, and I have a hard no-forgive rule. So unless it’s turned out she’s been hacked, she can’t come back into my life. I can’t even access her other account, so I’d say that yeah, I’ve been blocked. sighs I’ll never again have a friend like Aly.
I got a couple of shelves to put by the built-in desk in front, but they’re delayed. I also ordered a 12-piece wax sampler for $6.
We lost even more money because we had to throw some food out because of the power outage. I could have been smart and pulled some chicken or fish out of the freezer and made that up with veggies, but instead, when Tom wanted to Dominoes, I got a pizza and some lava cakes, and they made me feel kind of yucky. My heart raced and I sugar crashed. I’ve been eating horribly unhealthy for the last few days now. Because of the hurricane, we got a lot of pantry stuff, so I’ve had more bread than I eat in a year.
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potatoes83 · 26 days ago
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Random...
K-Love is playing Christmas music now on the weekends. I love that!
Politerotica 3: Family 'round the Christmas tree...
Well, around the Thanksgiving table, but it didn't rhyme. Commit to the bit, yeah? So. The shambling dinosaur on life support that is the liberal legacy media has been telling us for weeks now how we can prepare ourselves for those evil, bigoted Trump voters that are about to darken our doorstep for the holidays. To be clear, I am one of those; I use the 'we' as in the targeted populace of their posts and broadcasts. Including, but not limited to just uninviting them. Classy. Grandpa's uninvited for Thanksgiving because he wants peace, a strong economy, and to not end up eating cat food because the grocery bill is too dear.
So I was at my in-laws for Thanksgiving. I know they voted differently than we did. They know we voted differently than they did. And who we voted for, and why we did, and just a full political recap... was never once mentioned. Not once. Now, I am not ashamed in the slightest of my vote, and if questioned, I will happily defend my position. But instead, we talked about what we've been up to. About family, about friends, about the holidays. About the things that actually mattered. Because here's the thing. Two things actually. First off, whatever happened to the big three not coming up in polite conversation; money, religion, and politics? Controversial topics. But even beyond that, politics is mind-numbingly, head shatteringly BORING!
Oh yeah, I voted Trump, but then we also had a local school board election, and don't you know it, there were only three people running for four spots, and I wasn't overly invested in the incumbents anyway, let alone those two millage proposals, and speaking of incumbents, how about those circuit court judges, I mean...
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And no, it's not like we were uncomfortably avoiding the topic, stilted silence and awkward pauses revolving around the orange man bad elephant in the room, it's just that we not only have mutual respect for one another, but also have INFINITELY BETTER THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. Especially when we're all but doing a dine and dash; we got on the road after work Wednesday, stayed Thursday, and had to leave by noon on Friday. Which, as an aside, totally sucked, because they're in the greater Kalamazoo area, and Thanksgiving night through next Tuesday is seeing lake-effect snow bands just ripping through. The entirety of the I-94 corridor through Ann Arbor was off and on whiteout blizzard conditions and shitty roads.
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...for those of you not familiar, lake-effect snow is something that greatly affects the west side of Michigan; it can extend throughout the state, Buffalo, New York also gets it bad. Cold air whips over the relatively warm Great Lakes (Lake Michigan is still about 50 degrees right now), picks up stupid amounts of moisture, and dumps snow. It can be blue sky and sunny, fluffy clouds, and turn to black sky and whiteout blizzard with an inch of fresh snow on the ground, and then back to sun out... in the space of literally fifteen minutes. And it just keeps doing this.
But getting back to it, we have been bombarded with politics now for the last what, year and a half? I mean, let's be honest, politicians start running for reelection the minute they're elected into office, but it obviously really ramps up before the election itself. In our social media, in our legacy media, in conversations around the proverbial water cooler, it has been absolutely inescapable. It's done. Let it fucking go. Like, seriously, the only thing worse than being bombarded with political ads during the election would be to be bombarded with politics after the election. I didn't walk in holding my hand in the shape of an L on my forehead going suck it bitches, we won, I asked if there was anything I could do, and helped peel the potatoes. They didn't splash me with holy water as I walked through the door, they made me breakfast. And we chatted and caught up, because even more so this visit than most, it was over in a flash and we had to come home.
Yes, politics are important, and many of us have been immersed in them because they are directly related to the direction of the country, which has been on the wrong road for the last four years. But if you can't put that aside for what is really important, or moreover, if that makes up so much of your identity that you can't look away, that well and truly is a shame. And I would also point out, that it's usually a one-way street. Because you notice how all the advice is how to cope with the Trump voter... not how to deal with the deluded Harris camp and company. 🥔
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lfthinkerwrites · 2 months ago
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Okay, for the wheel I got Enigma and Oswald Cobblepot
(Another bit with Ellen and one of her Rogue 'uncles'. Too bad no one spun her and Digger, that would be a shitshow and a half)
The maître d' stared down at Ellen from behind his podium like she was the dirt beneath his shoes. "Young lady," he said snootily. "I'm afraid that minors are not allowed in the Iceberg Lounge without an adult present."
"I'm not a minor," she said, and the man's nose wrinkled even further when he heard her West Side affect. "I'm eighteen. Mr. Cobblepot's expecting me."
"Oh, really?" the maître d' asked. "Alright, I'll play along: what is your name?"
"Ellen Dixon." She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one from the interior of the restaurant could hear her before she leaned in closer. "Enigma."
As expected, the maître d''s face paled. "I'm sorry, did you say 'Enigma'?"
Ellen smirked. "I did. Sorry I'm not in costume right now, but Dad said I should try to dress as formally as possible." The teal dress suit Dad had gotten her for prom all those years ago may not have been what he had in mind, but considering his own fashion choices he hadn't said anything when she left the house. "So," Ellen continued. "Mr. Cobblepot?"
"Of course," the maître d' said. "Please, miss, follow me." Ellen could have fun toying with this pompous prick some more, but she did have a meeting to get to. She followed him into the interior of the Iceberg Lounge.
It looked like the renovations were going well. The large crystal chandelier had been replaced, filling the restaurant with a soft glow. There wasn't as big of a crowd, but then again, it was a Tuesday night, and the Bowery hadn't fully recovered from the events of the past two years. There were still enough glittering members of high society here to make her feel out of place. Maybe her father felt at ease hobnobbing with the rich fucks, but Ellen was born in the lower West Side, and she wasn't ashamed of that. These were not her people. Not the people she'd been born into. Not the people she'd chosen to protect.
Doesn't matter, she could hear Black Bat scold. You protect everyone. Well, you try explaining class dynamics to someone who once literally lived with wolves.
Cobblepot was sitting at what she guessed was his usual table, directly under the chandelier. He greeted her with an indulgent smile. "Thank you, Marco. You may leave us."
"Actually, Marco," Ellen piped up. "Would you get me a glass of water?" She watched the man's face turn red and smiled.
"Of course," the maître d' said with a strained smile. "Would you care for anything else, miss?"
"I'll let you know," Ellen said. She waved him off. "Thank you." Not as rude as Dad would have been, but not as polite as Gramma would have liked her to be. It would do.
Cobblepot clucked his tongue. "Oh dear. I take it that Marco gave you some trouble at the door?"
"It's fine, Mr. Cobblepot. He just thought I was a minor." It was her height. The one area where Mom's genetics had triumphed over Dad's. What she wouldn't give for an extra three or four inches sometimes.
"Please, Ellen," Cobblepot said, settling in his plush seat. "Call me Oswald. We're practically family after all."
Oh, were they now? In what sense of the term? "Alright," Ellen said, playing along. "Well, Oswald, Dad said that you wanted to see me."
"I did," Cobblepot said. He lit up his long cigarette and took a puff, careful not to blow smoke in her face. "Your father has informed me that you've decided to join the 'family business' as it were. Follow in his illustrious footsteps."
"Not quite," Ellen said. "I'm not going to start committing riddle crimes any time soon."
"That's fair enough," he admitted. "But still, you are joining the costumed life, and your father has finally accepted it." He shook his head. "Looking back, it seems that this was inevitable, wasn't it? Well then: I asked to meet with you because I'd like to offer you my assistance at this new stage in your life."
Ellen wanted to raise an eyebrow, but she didn't. Instead, she acted the part of a grateful young ingenue. "Thank you very much, Oswald." Just like experience had taught her. Get Cobblepot's guard down. Then once he turned his back on her, she'd get the chance to stick the knife in. If she needed to at least.
"No need to thank me at all," Cobblepot said. He looked pleased with himself, clearly enjoying being the last big fish in a pond that was getting smaller by the day. "Your father and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but he is one of my dearest friends. I'm happy to assist his daughter any way that I can." He took another drag of his cigarette, then fixed her with a probing look. "I do have one question for you though: what exactly do you intend to be?"
Ellen blinked. "Do you mean what kind of vigilante I want to be?"
"Precisely. I know full well you don't intend to be a Rogue. Your father has also informed me that you won't be joining the various Bats either."
"No," Ellen said with a harsh tone. "I won't take orders from him. Never."
Cobblepot took another long drag. "I see," he said. "Have you chosen your..former mentor's path then?"
"No," she said, swallowing the dull pain in her heart. "I'm not him. I'm not my father. I'm not a bat. I'm Enigma. I guess I don't really know what that means yet."
"Well, there's time to figure that out. In the meantime, I believe that we can come to an arrangement with each other."
And here it was. Ellen sat back and folded her arms across her chest. "You mean you want me to ignore your men trying their luck in the Narrows?" Cobblepot stopped smoking and stared at her. "The Narrows is being folded back into the West Side. My neighborhood. Maybe I don’t live there anymore but it’ll always be my neighborhood. I don’t want any more gangs fucking up my neighborhood, you understand me? Maybe Dad’s let you do whatever you want in the past, but I’m not Dad. And if you don’t want to support me anymore because of that, then fine. I don’t need it.”
Cobblepot stared at her through beady eyes. “You certainly are impertinent, child.” Then he surprised Ellen by laughing. “Very good! I admit that my men have been in the Narrows, but hardly for the reason you think. I’ve been having them flush out the remains of Sionis’ men. That was the last part of the bargain I made with Batman. In return, he’s allowed me to rebuild my position in the Bowery.”
Well. Now Ellen felt a bit sheepish. She folded her hands. “Ok. What do you want then?”
“You don’t believe I’m offering you help purely out of the goodness of my heart?”
“Hell fuck no.”
Cobblepot raised an eyebrow. “Language, my dear. You would be right again, of course. I was being honest with you when I said that I consider your father one of my dearest friends, but as you pointed out, you are not your father. You need to be negotiated with as a separate entity.”
Ellen smirked. “I’m listening, Ozzie.”
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harriswalz4usabybr · 4 months ago
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Tuesday, August 27, 2024 - Kamala Harris
Tonight Vice President Harris is hosting a Down Ballot Strategy dinner with those who are running for Governors offices, US Congressional offices, or US Senatorial offices. She is hosting this event at the Conrad Washington, DC hotel. This event is bringing together an extensive invite list (see below). While we understand that not all candidates have interest in working with the Harris-Walz campaign to ride down-ballot coattails, we wanted to bring together those races we saw as critical to make sure we were using resources how we should and how down ballot candidates need us to. The dinner will be semi-formal and have some responses being made by candidates, including Vice President Harris, as well as some of our campaign surrogates—all of whom will be attending as well, but are not necessarily on the list below. Please note a full-text of the remarks made by VP Harris will be made available at the conclusion of the event. The event is being held from 19:00 - 22:30 ET.
We have decided to showcase a few campaign videos as well during the dinner, which will be shared out later.
Attendee List
Gubernatorial Candidates 
Jennifer McCormick (Indiana) Crystal Quade (Missouri) Ryan Busse (Montana) Jon Kiper and Cinde Warmington (New Hampshire)✝ Josh Stein (North Carolina) Merrill Piepkorn (North Dakota)*  Jenniffer González-Colón (Puerto Rico) Brian King (Utah) Esther Charlestin (Vermont) Steve Williams (West Virginia)
US House Congressional Candidates
Shomari Figures (AL-2) Amish Shah (AZ-1) Kirsten Engel (AZ-6) Adam Gray (CA-13) Rudy Salas (CA-22) George Whitesides (CA-27) Will Rollins (CA-41) Adam Frisch (CO-3) Yadira Caraveo (CO-8) Jared Golden (ME-2) Curtis Hertel (MI-7) Kristen McDonald Rivet (MI-8) Donald Davis (NC-1) Gabriel Vasquez (NM-2) Mondaire Jones (NY-17) Josh Riley (NY-19) John Mannion (NY-22) Marcy Kaptur (OH-9) Emilia Sykes (OH-13) Janelle Bynum (OR-5)*  Susan Wild (PA-7) Matt Cartwright (PA-8) Marie Gluesenkamp Pérez (WA-3)
US Senatorial Candidates
Ruben Gallego (Arizona) Debbie Mucarsel-Powell (Florida) Valerie McCray (Indiana) Elissa Slotkin (Michigan) Jon Tester (Montana) Jacky Rosen (Nevada) Sherrod Brown (Ohio) Bob Casey Jr. (Pennsylvania) Colin Allred (Texas) Tammy Baldwin (Wisconsin) Glenn Elliott (West Virginia)
US Congressional Delegates
Louise Kuaea (American Samoa)*  Kim Teehee (Cherokee Nation) Ginger Cruz (Guam)*  Edwin Propst (Northern Mariana Islands)*  William Villafañe Ramos (Puerto Rico) Stacey Plaskett (Virgin Islands)
✝There are two candidates from this state as the primary has still yet to occur.  *This candidate does not have a campaign Twitter account, their website is shared.
Again the attendance of these candidates or delegates does not equate to an endorsement of our campaign. We understand some swing districts have democrats who are more moderate than the Harris-Walz campaign, which means we may not necessarily be the best to coordinate, but we fully support all candidates on this list and want Americans to vote democrat (note Puerto Rico candidates are Republican, but the Harris-Walz administration is dedicated to Puerto Rican statehood, and these candidates reflect that commitment) we also encourage that you donate, organize, and volunteer for these candidates. We are not going back, we are moving forward as one party!
~BR~
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fuzzyfancreatorbiscuit · 4 months ago
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(WARNING) this short contains topic of abuse both mentally and fiscally, viewer discretion is advised .
Rain part 1
Tuesday, August 27, 2024
I could smell the rain coming in long before the first clap of thunder. And my newly broken ankle also told me bad weather. I never liked calling a thunder storm bad weather, well as long as I was at home and not having to deal with people who take things for granted thinking that they never would be or end up causing a accident. And no that is not how I broke my ankle, I found a hole or the hole found me I don't know which. Really not one of my finer moments, but I was lucky enough to have cell service where I was and called my boyfriend for help. But like always he told me I got myself in that mess I can get myself out. Trying to get up I realized right away that it was broken not sprained. I guess my scream caught the attention of very tall skeleton monster that was out for a jog. He was the one who took me to the emergence room and so kindly waited with me and is now going to fetch the car to drive me home.
I had called my boyfriend from the drive over to the hospital to let him know I had a broken my ankle and he said to let him know when I was coming home so he could unlock the door for me. That was the last straw, I know we have been together since we were in middle school and I thought that this was how guys were and that good guys were only in books, funny it took a monsters kindness to realize that I was fooling myself.
When the pretty red convertible pulled up I started to stand to get in, but the guy whose name I forgot rushed over with a very loud boisterous voice telling me to wait right there that I shouldn't be trying to walk with all those meds they gave me to stop the pain. Before I could respond he picks me up for the second time today and I couldn't help the mad blush that spread across my cheeks as he carried me to the car and sat me down then took my crutches from the nurse whom looked at me saying goodbye with a winked that made my blush even worse.
I don't remember how we got on the highway I was so deep in thought or sleep took over again but the  handsome monster asked me something I didn't quite get so I had to ask him to repeat.
Where am I taking you miss I don't know where you live? OH I'm sorry 1298 west creek dr. I watched as he elegantly put it into the gps. Get a hold of yourself girl you just decided to break up with your long term boyfriend you shouldn't be looking at this man that way. It doesn't help he has a voice that could melt you with one fraise. You mentally slap yourself, change the subject change the subject. Before I  could think of anything to say he asks me if I was alright and if he needs to turn around to take me bake to the hospital. Grate I must look death warmed over for him to make that assumption. No I'm fine I just feel guilty that you have done so much for me and I don't remember your name. OH THAT IS VERY UNDERSTANDABLE CONSIDERING YOU HAVE HAD A GREAT SHOCK AND BROKEN BONES. BEING A SKELETON MONSTER I FEEL YOUR PAIN A GREAT DEAL MORE THAN OTHERS WOULD AND HOW COULD I LEAVE A DAMSEL IN PERIL  AND NOT HELP. NOT THE GREAT PAPYUS!
His little rant made me laugh and it looked like there was a slight orange glow to his bones or was the meds taking full effect.
I woke up just as we were pulling to my drive way and I see my friend jessies car. That was odd she never uses that car much she always has her husband drive her around. Kurt must have told her I had broken my ankle and came over not realizing that was still at the hospital. Papyrus tried to carry me again but I stopped him cause I needed to learn how to walk with the crutches cause I can't rely on him since he wasn't going to be here to take care of me. I thanked him for everything he has done and not be a stranger if he sees me public. He wanted to walk me up to the door but I have a bad feeling the more stand there and I don't want him to see me get mad. Before he left he gave his number and told me if I needed any further assistants not to hesitate to call him. I watched as his tail lights drive away.
I didn't bother to knock I used my key and pulled out my phone to record so they couldn't say it was my pain med induced state that I was seeing things. Cause as soon as I walked in I could here his Dum  sexy music that gets him in the right mood and the unmistakable sounds of two people getting it on.
I had two minutes of them going at it before they notice I was standing there. Jessie got dressed really fast and Kurt took a little more time like what he did wasn't wrong. The bastard even took a minute to make the bed like nothing had happened jessie ran out taking off like a bat out of hell from my drive way. He then looked at me with crossed arms and had the balls to say you were supposed to call me when you left the hospital. I said sorry must have slipped my mind, now get out of my house. Excuse me did you just tell me to leave my house woman? No I said to get out of my house, I paid for it and its under my name and I just caught you having sex with one of my friends in our bed I might add. I don't know what you are talking about woman but I think those meds they gave you are stronger than you think. Oh how I knew he would try to pull this crap again. When I told him not only did I have proof of what I saw when I got home but I sent it to my dad and if I go missing to send the cops after your sorry ass, now I've already sent for my brother to help and he should be here any minute now so get out. I will pack your shit and you can come get it in couple of days but you are leaving now.
I didn't even see him move it happened so fast for the next thing I knew my was head hitting the door frame and the ringing in my ears followed by several kicks to my stomach. I blacked out when he stomped on my broken ankle. When I came to my mom was sitting next to my bed, wait not my bed I'm back in the hospital? Hey she's awake, how are you feeling sweetie? What happened? Your brother found Kurt beating the hell out of you and he had to get him off you so he hit him with your baseball bat. Your father is bailing him out now so they'll be here soon. How long have I been here? Not long sweetie just a few hours, but they are keeping you over night for observation. Your really lucky he didn't mess your ankle up any more than it was. The doctors were talking surgery. Mom my ex boyfriend just beat the shit out of me and I'm back the hospital for the second time today I wouldn’t call that lucky. I know sweetie, I was surprised all this happened at once I really thought he was the one for you. You know he took your father out last week and asked for you hand in marriage? Mom he was sleeping with Jessie and just tried to kill me. I know it just seams so weird that he would do that. I looked at her like she had grown two heads. I know she wants grand children but would she put me in danger just to have them. I couldn't look at her any more so I turned my head to the window and watched the rain start to fall. I'm determined to make my life better and I'm not letting anyone change my mind
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therealityhelix · 1 year ago
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By Talos, This Can't be Happening pt. 34
welcome to Tamriel tuesday! Maglir was right!
@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions
?~?~?~?~?
The Fighter's Guild was not much friendlier in Skingrad, but at least it wasn't his fault this time. A scant handful of people stood clustered together, one-an elf woman-shaking a folded paper at the others.
“It says he defaulted! Defaulted! Who defaults on a contract this easy? Why would he go around telling people he's defaulted? Doesn't he understand how that makes us look?”
“Complaining about money again, I'll bet.” A tall, russet Argonian growled. “As if we don't all take home the same pay for the same work. If he actually did anything, perhaps he would not be so beset by money problems.”
“Guest.” An olive complected man murmured. The Argonian's head snapped up to look at him.
“Heyyy...” Swag gave a little four fingered wave. “Am I interrupting something? Because I can leave.”
“No, no!” the Argonian called. “It's not that important. Come in!”
“Not that-!” the elf woman began indignantly. The Argonian cut her off.
“So, are you looking to join the Guild?” the Argonian asked quickly. “Or perhaps a recruit on the road? We have bed space, if that's what you need. I am Ah-Malz. This is Fadus, and Parwen.”
“Edward. I joined up in Chorrol.” No need to bring up the circumstances.
“Oh, under Vilena herself? They're friendly in Chorrol.”
“Sure.”
“Anyway, you come to get some carnage under your belt? Round here, we hunt goblins. They're everywhere in Colovia. Most of our jobs involve them in some way or another.”
More goblins. He didn't really like that. Yeah, they were trouble. They raided farms, set up ambushes on the roads, tried to tunnel into cities. They killed people. But he couldn't help but think of the cave he and Sky had whirled through like a tornado, The goblin mage on the road dropping like a sack of potatoes with Helix's arrow between its shoulders. She hadn't hesitated.
They were so easy to kill, and he didn't like that. If it was easy, it could get to become a habit. They weren't human, sure, but neither was the Argonian. Or the elf. Or the orc brothers back in Chorrol. It didn't make it okay. When they were enemies, you had to fight back, but that still didn't actually make it okay. Just a bad time for everybody.
“Eh, well, I've had some experience with goblins, yeah. Only signed up like a week or so ago, though, so I'm still getting my feet under me.”
“Oh, you'll run into more if you stay in the area.” Ah-Malz assured. “Me and Parwen have a tally going-”
“Malz, we don't have time for this!” Parwen scolded. “We've got to do something about Maglir!”
“And what do you propose, Wennie?” Ah-Malz asked. “We break down the door of the inn and drag him out by the ears?”
“Maybe.” Fadus said quietly.
“You know he'd just run if he saw any of us.” Parwen grumped. “He knows he's in trouble. He'll bolt the instant he sees us in the window.”
Three sets of musing eyes settled on him, and Swag saw the future.
“Yeah, okay. I'll go get him. Not gonna recognize me, huh? Where is he and what does he look like?”
The West Weald Inn was a crowded place, deceptively large on the inside, like the rest of the towns buildings. It was cozy, warm, and full of people, and one of them was Helix. He spotted her curled bob and goblin skull staff at the bar, the woman behind it pointing towards a door on the far wall.
“Hey baby, come here often?” he teased sliding up next to her.
“Nah, hot stuff, I'm new in town. Maybe you can show me around.” she teased back. “But first, looks like I found that alchemist they mentioned back at Fort Virtue.”
“Hey great! I got sent to shake down an awol fighter. It think it's that shortstack over there.”
His eyes had landed on a short, broad figure in dented iron armor, sitting by himself next to a window he kept glaring suspiciously out.
“Oh, that sounds like a pain. Have fun!”
“Can I get you something?” the woman behind the bar asked, as he watched Helix slip into the cellar.
“Hmm. Got anything non-alcoholic? Aw, c'mon.” he said at her condescending stare. “I made a promise, all right?”
Swag approached Maglir's table with a large mug of mulled grape juice-a specialty of the town. It turned out the barkeep wasn't mad that he dared to repudiate drunkenness in her establishment, it was that she thought he was an idiot for not knowing. Skingrad was famous for its grapes and tomatoes specifically; everybody had juice.
And now, so did he.
“Hey man, this spot taken?” he asked, and the elf glared up at him.
To Maglir, Swag probably wouldn't look like anything more than just another traveler passing through. He was all long thin lines, an exclamation point of a man, and he was aware of it. Even his armor was the lightest possible, and not yet broken in. With his distinctive hairstyle and handsome face, the rings in his ears and question mark pendant, he probably looked like more of a poseur than anything.
The elf grunted and glanced back out the window.
Swag set down his drink and took a seat.
“I only ask 'cause it seems like you're looking for someone.” he said.
“No one you're likely to know. What do you want, anyway?”
“A place to sit next to the window. My girl's wanting to talk to the alchemist here, so I might be waiting for a while.”
“Huh. Sounds like my wife when she gets into the fabric shop.”
“Ah. Looking for some time away?” Swag asked, nodding knowingly. Maglir shook his head.
“No, that's not it. She's lovely, really. Better than I deserve.”
“I know that feeling.”
“It's just that things are rough recently, and the assassination has made things many times worse.”
“Oh?” Swag raised one eyebrow. “Rough? Like, you havin' trouble getting work?”
Maglir scoffed.
“Work? Oh, yes, I can get work. What I can't get is pay! Look at this!”
The elf tossed a folded note across the table at him. He plucked it up and read over the contents.
“...A journal? Just that? A journal left in a cave? Who leaves a journal in a cave?”
“I don't know! Some fool mage, a hermit, a philosopher. Somebody did. I even went out there to get it, like a good little boot, and you know what I found?”
“Bats?”
“Monsters! Gobs of em! Barely even saw them, but almost lost my head! They sent me out there alone, into a cave full of monsters. It's like they want their recruits to die!”
“Who's they?” Swag asked. “Just so I can watch my back, you know?”
“Fighter's guild. I swear, you adventurers don't know much about organization, do you?”
“Nah, we fly by the seat of our pants. So what I'm getting', and correct me if I'm wrong, but your Fighter's Guild sent you out by yourself to get a lost book. Simple soundin' job on the face of it, but when you got there, it was way worse than you thought it'd be, so you came back and...gave up?”
Maglir grimaced.
“Doesn't sound good when you put it that way. More like I refuse to leave my children without a father because of some fool's errand. It used to be they'd send out two or even three of us for a job that dangerous! And the pay was better too. Now they spread us thin and throw us scraps. Hasn't been the same since the Donton boy died.”
Donton? Vilena's son? The boy had been alive when they'd left Chorrol, had something happened in the meantime?
“So basically, it's a strike.”
“So basically, I'm not going to die for a soggy book and a scant handful of coin. No, someone else can do this. You can do this, I don't care.”
Swag tucked the note into his belt. He wasn't sure he wanted to go into a monster infested cave in search of a soggy book either. But he could return the contract to the Guild at least.
Maglir complained for a while longer before finishing his drink and eventually leaving, but he left Swag with some interesting tidbits.
The Fighter's guild was on a downturn. They'd been losing recruits, taking bad contracts, losing good contracts. A rival organization was rising to challenge them. Vilena Donton had two sons, but not anymore, and after the loss of the eldest, had been shirking her duties, making everything worse. The individual Guildhalls had been left isolated, and some simply didn't have the leadership to hold together.
Looked like he'd come at a bad time.
Helix slid into Maglir's vacated seat and stole a pull of Swag's drink.
“Hello beautiful. Where have you been all my life?”
“In the cellar.” she said. “Sindarion's definitely got the info I wanted, but he's stingy with it. The plant is called Nirnroot, and prefers waterside real estate. He knows a way to use it, but he won't tell me. If I find more, I'll need to bring it to him to get anything out of it.”
“So all the both of us got outta this was headaches. Oh well. It's not like we were gonna spend a whole lot of time here.”
He encouraged her to finish his juice, then they headed back out into the busy streets. The elf at the Fighter's Guild nearly tore out her hair when Swag returned the contract to them, but he just shrugged and pointed out that he had a prior obligation he had to see to before he even thought about picking anything else up.
Besides, Swag figured a group that was so gung-ho to count goblin heads could take on a cave of monsters without too much trouble. Unless, of course, they really had been setting Maglir up.
His razor was ready, and they managed to get their rations topped up, so they stopped by the Mages Guildhall for a quick lunch, and headed for the western gate.
This side of the city boasted the tomato fields, which stretched out far into the low hills, trellises of long vines laden with colorful fruits. Helix told him about the different kinds as they walked, about determinate and indeterminate varieties, and about which tomatoes were best for which culinary applications. There were far more types than he would have guessed, but Helix liked tomatoes and grew many different sorts in her garden home, so he'd seen quite a few.
He reached over the fence and plucked a deep red one.
“D'ya think you could grow this kind? In your house?” he asked.
“Unfortunately no. When we leave, we probably won't be able to take anything with us.” she said. “At least, that's how it worked last time.”
“Ah well.” Swag sliced the fruit in half and handed her a piece. “Snack for the road then.”
The road curled around the city, away from their destination, and so they stepped into the wilds at a picturesque little pond where Helix discovered another Nirnroot chiming softly between the roots of a lonely tree. The countryside here was mostly open meadows and rolling hills dotted with sparse little copses of straight, thin trees. It was very pretty; bees hummed above the flowers, and occasionally a deer or rabbit scampered off over the hilltops. This landscape felt less hostile to him than the thick forests surrounding Chorrol, but maybe that was just because he could see further. It was still just as wild and unfamiliar, but the sky was visible, and there were no deep shadows or mist for the unknown to hide in.
Which was how he was able to see the wolf coming.
It was huge and grungy, with an odd look in its eyes. At least, Swag thought it was odd; he'd never seen a wolf face to face before.
Helix loosed an arrow: it flew wide, and the wolf didn't even pause, rushing towards them too quickly for Helix to nock another arrow. Swag swung his cane. The wolf caught it in its massive jaws, wrenching it out of his hands like a dog with a stick. Yanked off his feet, he crashed to his knees, face to wild animal face.
Swag bashed it with his fist.
His gauntlets flashed with dazzling light, a miniature crack of thunder, and the wolf staggered. Flesh sagged under the fur, fell away from the creature's head.
“The actual fuck?”
“It's a zombie!” Helix cried. Shouldering her bow, she flicked her hand out flinging a lighting bolt that blasted the undead beast apart.
“Ahg, that's fucking gross!” Swag hopped to his feet, shaking zombie bits off his armor. “It's not in my hair is it? Tell me it's not in my hair.”
Helix said nothing.
“Noooo, get it off!”
He leaned down, allowing her to pluck something from his head and toss it away.
“I need a million showers, and I need them right now.”
“We could go back to that little pond.” she suggested. Swag whined, and she took his hand, leading him back.
She rested on a rock while he washed, watching the horizon.
“See anything?”
“No. But I don't like that that thing was out there. It's not normal to just find undead wandering the wilds. Especially not animals. People's skeletons and ghosts can maybe rise spontaneously from cursed gravesites or haunted battlefields, but a zombie animal has to be made. Who made it? Why was it out there?”
“Are we sure we want to find out?”
“We might not be able to avoid it.”
“Then fuck it. So...why did my hand explode when I punched that thing?”
“Lemmie see your glove.”
Swag peeled off one of Rasheda's gauntlets and handed it over. She turned it over in her hands, closely examining the joints and stitches, making thoughtful sounds.
“Well?”
“Damn good workmanship. I didn't even notice until now. She's enchanted them with shock magic. She must've really liked you.”
Swag took the glove back.
“Yeah, we got along.”
“I heard. There were a few people who really wanted me to know. Didn't seem to believe me when I said I didn't care.”
Swag scowled.
“Not our problem if they don't understand us.”
“Nah, that's a them problem.”
She took his hand and they walked through the meadow, the honey scent of sun-warmed clover just barely covering an underlying whiff of rot.
?~?~?~?~?
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