#oh well at least if i show up to work all gross my boss will have to accept that i stayed home Thursday for a good reason

[six-of-ravens]

decided to take my normal strength allergy meds today instead, bc pollen levels are only moderate and I don't like taking the extra strength ones too much bc the itchy mouth/drowsiness can be a pain. however, that may have been a bad call.

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 9 all chapters

Thank you @treedaddymcpuffpuff for curating this beautiful pic!!!! 🖤🖤🖤

TW: sexual harassment, (not john!)

-The next day, you find that diabolical pain in your shoulder is actually gone. You’ve lived with it for a good six months at least. He actually fixed you. It’s such a relief you could cry. You take his advice, and start doing stretches in the morning and after work, so as not to squander his gift. Though, the thought of receiving another massage from those oh-so-capable hands keeps you up at night sometimes.

You wonder if something will change between you at the shop after your little birthday adventure together, but Mr. Wick doesn’t press his advantage, or act overly familiar. In fact, it’s almost like it never happened at all, and you are torn between relief at maintaining the comfortable status quo, or disappointment because…well.

And just what would that look like? you chide yourself. He’s at least twenty years your elder, capable, interesting, handsome as the devil and rich to boot. Do you think he would just sweep you off your feet and let you live in that beautiful cabin of his up on the mountain with him, away from it all?

What would you have to offer a man like that?

The answer, at least in your estimation, is not much, so you concentrate on not pining for him like a lovesick little fool.

Besides, you tell yourself. You’re going to Italy soon. Maybe you’ll meet someone on your travels to take your mind off the Byronically-broody older man who occupies the corner in your shop, and an unfair amount of space in your thoughts.

It doesn’t seem likely, but a girl can hope.

-You start to have a problem at work with your new shift manager. He just can’t seem to fucking restrain himself from making lewd comments at you. He says them jokingly, but it’s not funny, at all. You made the mistake of laughing along awkwardly the first time because you were so shocked and didn’t know what to do. Now he thinks he has carte blanche with you, or worse, that you’re flirting back.

Unfortunately, he’s the owner’s ne’er do well son. It was totally a pity hire, even though you’ve been there longer and are way more qualified for his job. You guess your habit of disappearing for a month to travel probably knocked you out of the running.

Since you’ll be leaving soon for Italy anyway, you feel emboldened to sit down for a second across from Mister Wick when he comes in. He looks at you inquisitively, but not like he’s annoyed you’re intruding.

“I don’t think I’m coming back after my trip,” you feel obligated to tell him, for some reason.

“You can’t leave.” He says it so quickly, and maybe there’s even a note of panic in it. There’s something a little fragile about this imposing man. You feel like maybe only you see it, and it pulls at your heartstrings.

“I just don’t think I can do this anymore. My boss is a creep.” You used to look forward to your job, but now you’ve started dreading coming into work when he’s on the schedule with you. You’re filled with anxiety all the time now, and it’s cut into your sleep because you keep having nightmares about it too.

Mr. Wick’s eyes narrow, and suddenly you are reminded of a wolf. “Is he bothering you?”

You make a face. “He just says gross stuff all the time. It’s wearing. But he’s the owner’s son, so I’m kinda fucked.” The fact that you’re cursing in front of a customer shows how worn down you are.

You’d tried to talk to the owner, Mark, and had been completely blown off about it with the usual tired excuses. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just joking.

Well, ha ha fucking ha.

It was a small indie shop, there was no HR. Your only real recourse, as far as you could tell, was to quit, but you wouldn’t have time to find another job before your trip, and you were counting on your next few paychecks to make ends meet.  

 “That shouldn’t matter,” Mr. Wick insists.

You sigh, because that is the world a Tall White Male occupies, versus your own situation.

The next day after the morning rush you are cleaning up your station when Kyle creeps up, making a gross comment about how he’s jealous of the way you’re “jacking off” the steamer wand as you wipe it down.

“Could you not say stuff like that to me?” you finally snap, exasperated.

“Come on, I was just joking,” he says with a leer, like it’s your fault that you’re uncomfortable.

“You will never speak to her like that again.”  

The voice from behind the two of you is cold as Siberian winter. Neither of you heard Mr. Wick approach. In fact, you didn’t even know he was in the shop. The look he is giving Kyle is pure murder. It’s not even directed at you, and you feel the chill to the marrow of your bones.

“S—sorry, sir. I was just—”

“No, you weren’t. Stop it.”

“Yeah. Ok, sorry.”

Kyle flees for the back, mumbling about having some paperwork to do. You breathe a sigh of relief, and there is some annoying moisture welling in the corner of your eyes.

“Thanks,” you sigh, and you are sorely tempted to leap over the counter and hug this man. He just nods sharply, and goes back to his table. Once again, you can’t help but feel like you have a guardian angel watching over you from the corner. If Kyle is smart enough to take the hint, it will all be fine.

But then you start to think about what just happened a little more.

You start to get an uneasy feeling, and you get Cassie to cover the register while you dare to seek out your dark savior outside as he’s making to leave in his Range Rover. “Mr. Wick?” you ask in hushed tones as he opens his door.

He cants his head in answer, turning to you.

“Please, don’t…light his car on fire or anything?”

He steps in close enough to you that you feel you are engulfed amidst the breadth of his chest and his downturned head. You can smell the warm, masculine spice of his cologne, and maybe you are a little idiot, knowing what you’re pretty sure you know about this man…but it takes every iota of your self-control not to lean into him.  

“I don’t know what you mean?” he says pointedly in a low voice.

“Just…” You make a fist of all the words you want to say, but can’t. You don’t know where you get the cheek to pound his chest with it in your frustration, even if very lightly. It’s like a stone wall beneath your hand, and for some reason that ties something low in your abdomen up in knots.

Maybe you wouldn’t be mad if Kyle lost his dick in an unfortunate petting zoo accident, but...you don’t want him dead. You feel a responsibility in this matter you didn’t with the predators in the van. “Please?”

He engulfs your small hand with his, holding it over his heart.

“I'm just going to go talk to the owner,” he assures you.

“That’s Kyle’s dad,” you inform him, again.

“I’m aware. I’ve dealt with situations like this before.” He smirks a little, and you don’t understand the joke. “If you don't push back on assholes like that, they think they run the world.” 

Wasn’t that the truth.

“Ok.” Then you realize, he might mean he’s going now. “Wait, it's his day off. He hates being disturbed at home.” 

The owner is kind of a big deal in your small town. His own father has been a local business owner and the mayor off and on for a long as you can remember. Their family is connected. You guess that’s why Kyle feels so free to act the way he does.

Must be nice.  

“That's too bad,” says John with a lift of eyebrow like he absolutely doesn't give a shit.

“Wait…how do you know where he lives?”

This seems to amuse him. “This isn't exactly a big place. And...that's kind of what I do. Or used to, anyway.” 

It's the most he's outright told you about his past. It gives you a little chill, and you wonder how much longer you’ll let yourself play dumb. He’s the kind of man who isn’t afraid to take the law into his own hands. He’s missing a finger, and though they’re long healed, you’ve noticed the faint scars on his gorgeous face. He’s gruff and forbidding with a body that could be chiseled from some kind of physicalwork, and eyes that are sharp as a falcon’s, and oh god you hope he doesn’t do anything drastic to persuade Mark to see things his way.

For you, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. You are half afraid of what’s to come, and half…in love, maybe, if you’re being honest with yourself.   

“I'm so getting fired,” you sing-song under your breath.

“Then…you’ll just have to come work for me.” 

There is a breathtaking sparkle in his dark eyes he says this. It sends a delicious thrill shooting through you, and in a ditch effort to hide how thirsty you are for this man you narrow your eyes at him.

“There better not be an ulterior motive to this caper,” you grouse with no real venom. Then, curiosity gets the better of you. “What would I even do?” 

“I’ve been thinking…I might need a governess for Dog. All he does is eat and lay around all day. He needs some culture.”

You roll your eyes at this. 

“Oh, and pray what does the position of Governess to Master Dog pull?” you play along.  

“What sounds fair? 50 thousand per annum?”

If you were really committed to the bit, you would have swooned into his arms. It was all too tempting. The thought of going to Mr. Wick's beautiful home to play with Dog, as a job that paid a livable wage, sounds like a dream. With the added bonus of...him, at home, all to yourself. Just the thought makes a red-hot flush bloom from your neck to your cheeks.

John smirks down at you, but is kind enough not to call you out on it.

You can’t help but notice he is still holding your hand.  

It dawns on you that this is the first time he's ever been this playful with you. Does the thought of going into a confrontation excite him? It probably does, you realize. If he’d done the kind of work you expect he might have…life in Clear Forks must seem pretty boring, after a while.

You probably seem pretty boring too.

“Very funny, Mr. Wick. And a little mean, dangling that in front of me.”

“Who's being funny?”

But he says it with such a devilish smile, and you just can’t chance taking him seriously. It’s too…much.

You try to disguise your shuddering sigh, and fail, badly. You try to take back your hand, but he holds on, and you are unable to budge him. You can feel his heart beating against your fist. Steady, but fast.

He’s enjoying this as much as you are.

 “I'm probably not supposed to ask you this, but...were you a spy?”

This question sobers him a little, and he levels you with that look. You know it’s meant to be stern, but god. All it does is make you ache.

“You'd better get back inside, Miss y/n. But if fuckhead bothers you again, you tell me. Immediately.”

He says the words, but it still takes him a few seconds more to release you, those dark eyes boring down into yours.

“Thank you, Mr. Wick.”

He nods before getting in his Rover.

You’re sorrier than usual to see him go.

As the day goes on and you remain unmolested, most of the tension in your shoulders lifts, and you almost feel normal again. You believe that everything will be fine, one way or another.

Of course, later, Fuckhead makes a point to tell you, as you're leaving at the end of your shift, that he's not scared of your old man. 

Easy to say, once Mr. Wick is far out of ear shot. 

However, in a week's time, Kyle is a no show. Suddenly he's decided to leave town—on a day he was supposed to open the shop, leaving his dad high and dry. Mark is livid and swears Kyle is disowned, and you get your little life back at the Clear Forks Coffee Co.

[jujumin-translates]

Event | Sanrio characters x A3! | Chapter 2

Itaru: …

Itaru: …Fufu…

Yuki: The hell was that? It’s gross when you sit there just giggling to yourself.

Izumi: Looks like he’s having fun at least. Not the worst way to spend a day off.

Yuki: He’s just on the couch with his phone basically giggling and kicking his feet in the air.

Sakuya: Are you watching something?

Yuki: Nothing that’s worth your time.

Sakuya Itaru-san, what are you watching?

Itaru: Oh, this? It’s a video from the Hello Kitty Channel. Kitty and Mimi’s twin manzai acts are such classics…

Itaru: I’m gonna have this Gyodon Gyodon bit stuck in my head until the day I die. Gyodon, Rokeroppi, Gyodon… Fufu… (1)

Sakuya: Twin manzai?

Itaru: Here, look.

Sakuya: Ah, it’s Kitty-chan…!

Itaru: There’s Gudetama and Cogimyun and a bunch of others too… All the videos with the other Sanrio characters are insanely funny and addicting too.

Itaru: I’ve heard there’s a Puroland channel that shows the Sanrio characters looking all cute and squishy while doing 10-minute endurance exercises…

Itaru: One of my favorites is a video on Kitty’s channel where she does a song about fixing a popcorn machine.

Itaru: Half the time I’m supposed to be working, but I just can’t look away. It’s the ultimate antidepressant… Straight-up serotonin.

Izumi: You sure do watch a lot of videos, Itaru-san.

Yuki: You have that sort of time?

Itaru: Excuse you. This is a fundamental part of nerd religion.

Izumi: Ahaha…

Sakuya: Puroland…

Itaru: You’ve been thinking about it?

Sakuya: Umm… Yeah. I also heard some other stuff about it just the other day…

Yuki: Puroland, huh? It’s been ages since I last went.

Sakuya: You’ve been there, Yuki-kun?

Yuki: Well, yeah, a long time ago. I used to love all the My Melody stuff.

Itaru: Yeah, that checks out. You seem like you’d like My Melody.

Yuki: Since it’s been so long since I last went, I kinda wanna see what kind of shows they put on now.

Izumi: They have a couple of different theaters, right?

Yuki: Yeah. Like the one that’s like a forest with talking trees.

Sakuya: That sounds amazing…! I wonder what it’s like.

Izumi: (Sakuya-kun’s eyes are shining. He seems really interested in Puroland.)

Izumi: …Well then, why not try and go with everyone?

Sakuya: Eh!?

Izumi: There’s the shows, of course, but there’s also the costumes and makeup, lighting and sound effects…

Izumi: Plus it’s necessary to experience plays held at places that are different from regular theaters.

Itaru: That’s true, a theater is a theater.

Yuki: Stop lying, you know you just want to go there for fun.

Izumi: …But that’s the pretext we’re going to operate under when we talk to Sakyo-san!

Yuki: Sure, pretext, call it whatever you want.

Yuki: …Well, whatever, the Sanrio characters are still cute and all. Guess I’ll tag along.

Izumi: Thank you! Now that we’ve drafted Yuki-kun into the budget war against Sakyo-san, we’re sure to win.

Itaru: Wait, seriously? You wanna attempt running that boss?

Sakuya: It’d be really great to go… I’d love to be able to see the shows and meet Kitty-chan.

Itaru: …I’ll go get Senpai in on this.

· • —�� ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Sakuya: Waah….! This is… Puroland…!

Kazunari: Setzer, Tenten, Aririn, Sumi! Take a pic with me!

Banri: Sure.

Tenma: What are you… Gh, whoa!?

Misumi: C’mon, Tenma, you gotta come with us~!

Homare: Such artistic and cute poses, now… Gorgonzola ♪

Guy: I have only heard stories of this place… Hmm, the entrance is quite nice.

Tasuku: It’s an indoor thing, huh? So the theater is in there then…?

Citron: You two have no evaporation!

Azuma: Fufu, you mean “imagination”?

Muku: They have a shop inside that has headbands that let you look like the characters! I wonder who I should get…

Masumi: I’m getting whatever one matches with Director…

Hisoka: …

Yuki: Strange to see you actually conscious for once.

Hisoka: I heard there’s a place with cinnamon marshmallows, I can’t do anything else until I try one…

Azami: Yeah. That checks knowing you.

Itaru: Everyone is so excited. Never thought I’d see the day this would actually happen…

Sakyo: Learning about this kind of entertainment is something that’s necessary for the future of the company.

Chikage: So that’s why you had us all come?

Sakyo: Obviously.

Taichi: Omi-kun, did you bring your camera?

Omi: Of course. I’ll do my best to get pictures of everyone.

Juza: I also brought a cheap camera with me.

Tsuzuru: I brought one too. Seems like it’d be fun to take all kinds of pictures.

Sakuya: …We’re really here.

Tsumugi: Fufu, I’m glad we are. You seemed really interested in Puroland, Sakuya-kun.

Tsumugi: Let’s have a lot of fun with everyone today.

Sakuya: …Yeah!

Izumi: (I hope today’s trip will turn out to be a good experience for everyone.)

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

• • •

T/N:

(1) I’m guessing that the “Gyodon” and “Rokeroppi” is referencing Hangyodon and Keroppi.

[invisiblegarters]

Not-So-Micro BL Reviews

This is mostly me doing catch up on all the things that I have been watching/was watching and then abandoned when I found Midnight Museum and fell like a ton of bricks (this is still something that confuses me but what can you do, really?) It will be long - I missed or ignored a LOT for a while.

Catch Up Dramas:

All the Liquors - This one never did anything revolutionary, but I have to admit that I liked the awkwardness of Chef. I really liked BFF cutie though. He was seriously the highlight of the entire show for me. Cute, if mostly predictable and not really plot heavy. Very KBL kiss. 7.5/10

Our Dating Sim - This was just a little gem of a series. The chemistry was on point and the conflicts made sense from what we were given of the characters. For how short it was, the emotional arc was satisfying. It's a solid little drama, and I quite enjoyed it. Good kisses, too, and not just for a KBL. 8/10

A Shoulder to Cry On - I just don't think that this one was for me, and that's okay. Part of me feels like if I were younger it would have landed better - it's dealing with some pretty serious topics and yet something about it feels a little too OTT for me, like they're kids playacting at adult emotions rather than it being genuine. IDK. I wanted to like it more than I did. This is one of the ones where the time skip actually worked in its favor though. 6/10

The New Employee (I know, don't look at me) - you know, I don't know why I randomly stopped watching this. It's adorable, and it actually does manage to convey the business drama pretty well on top of the cute, which I didn't expect from such a short drama. They also made me really dislike Manager Park, so kudos to them for that. I do like that Jong Chan genuinely believes in Seung Hyun's ability, and that he encourages him in that capacity. Overall this show was just cute, okay? It was. 8/10.

Bed Friend - I had such high hopes for this one. High apple pie in the sky hopes, even. I love me a FWB that gets serious (even if King was clearly pining for more from like, day 1 I don't even care. I've been wanting that fix since Between Us (another one where at least one of the FWB was clearly ready for more almost immediately, but hey what can you do). And these two are very, very good at selling that they want each other so kudos for that (and they clearly still want each other after the feelings and do not turn into blushing maidens who apparently haven't heard of kissing before, Team)). But around the time the gross boss Krit decided to invite himself over for family dinner with worst mother and SA stepdaddy and worst mother was like "oh yes he's perfect for you, son" I tuned out and didn't bother tuning back in until recently. I feel like there's only so much misery you can pile on one character before I either stop caring or start finding it unintentionally hilarious. I have to keep reminding myself that I am a Westerner so I don't understand the family dynamics in these things, that's all. Honestly Uea's inability to cut his awful mother out of his life is just not something that I can resonate with. It does amuse me though how often parents in these dramas are either amazing or awful, with not a lot of in between, normal sort of hey, sometimes parents do dumb things too because they are fallible and human. I guess that doesn't make for good drama. King and Uea are very cute, though, and I do really like them when they get to just chill and be boyfriends with each other, although I have to admit the end got a little too saccharine for me. I swear I can be so picky, sigh. The show might not have fulfilled all my hopes, but once it got off the misery train it was fine. 8/10

Moonlight Chicken - I loved this drama. And the funny thing is that it was low on my radar - literally the only reason I was planning on watching at first was due to First and Khao. That was it. The plot wasn't even really my thing, I figured I'd just be waiting for those two to show up and that would be that. But nope, I loved it. This felt like just the kind of grown up drama I've been aching for, one that was ultimately less BL and more, well, life, with all of its complications and messes. It just so happened that the main characters were gay. More of this, please, Thailand. I promise you that there is an audience for it. I liked how messy it was, and in such a believable way. From Wen and Alan's extremely slow breakup to Jim's trauma becoming a sort of shield for him against opening up to people to Heart and Li Ming's wholehearted jump into a first relationship, the characters felt real and grounded and i loved it. No one was perfect (well, except Gaipa who is honestly a sweetheart too good for this world - I loved his huge crush on Jim even though I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere, he was so sweet and unassuming about it, best unrequited love ever). Jim especially won my heart, because the way his walls worked was so relatable to me. I think that some people don't quite get how easy it is to shut yourself off, and how once you do it it is so much easier to just keep letting past trauma keep you from moving forward, not necessarily in ways that hinder your entire life, just parts of it. Jim's utter reluctance to let Wen in and his worry about Li Ming made so much sense to me. He'd been burned and burned hard, it's only natural that he'd want to protect his beloved nephew from the same pain, even though he went about it in the worst way possible most of the time. :D But that's not how it works for the young, and that's a good thing. Yeah, Li Ming might crash and burn, he and Heart might not be forever, but that's okay. I have heard people complaining that Earth is way too young to play Jim, but I honestly thought he suited the role, actually. It might be my favorite role of his yet. Final Verdict: 9.5/10. This was almost my perfect drama and if I could have more of this I would be delighted.

New (to me) Dramas

A Tale of a Thousand Stars - watched because of Our Skyy2. I wanted to be looking forward to more than just The Eclipse and Never Let Me Go, haha. It was fine. I really liked Tian, even when he was being a spoiled shit. There's something about Mix, I think, that makes him extremely watchable. I do not really feel that way about Earth and I was mostly annoyed by Phupha. *shrug* I wanted him to actually talk to Tian rather than making decisions for him - sure Tian was impulsive but so much of his problem was with his parents running his life, he didn't need that in a lover, too. Once Phupha pulled his head out of his ass it was better, but my goodness that took a while, didn't it? Also what is it with this pairing and these weird "does he love me or my sister/the woman who's heart I have" plots? Glad Moonlight Chicken moved away from that kind of plotline, even if I do actually really like Cupid's Last Wish (more than this one, actually - I get the sense that is unusual but I don't care, I love it). Overall though this wasn't bad, even if I felt like it dragged a bit in places. Am genuinely sad that they put Khaotung in a Earh/Mix vehicle and didn't have him gently pining over either of them. He did it so well in Moonlight Chicken, after all. Final Verdict: 8/10

Star and Sky - Star In My Mind & Sky in Your Heart - these were fine. I felt like there was a lot of drama over very little, but they're decent little slice of life kind of dramas. Easily consumed, easily forgotten. 6/10 for both.

Rewatches (because why the hell not right)

The Eclipse - I just love this drama. *shrug* It's so incredibly rewatchable. Plus, you know. I love Akk, he's exactly my kind of character. I honestly can't wait for the Our Skyy2 episodes but they look a little nuts. Honestly though I don't even care so long as we get some cute - I think that there were enough tears during the show proper. Yes both First and Khao cry well but still.

Cupid's Last Wish - You know, the first time I watched this I think that I said I was pleasantly surprised because I expected it to be a lot less obvious that Korn was so gone on Win that no one else even entered his big, dumb head. I was worried that it would be more of a "oh, I fell in love with you as a girl but it's still you" thing, and it...was very much not. I thought they also did a real good job walking the line between showing Win and showing Lin, and I have to give a lot of credit to Jan for her portrayal of Win as Lin. Pitch perfect, really. I say again, there's just something about Mix that is likeable - I've enjoyed him in ever single drama I've seen him in thus far, although Earth as Moonlight Chicken's Jim has my whole heart. He really shone in that role. My one quibble with this is how everyone just forgives the mom for being awful. I don't know, I guess I'm just a grudge holder. Anyway I originally rated this at a 7.5, but due to sheer rewatchability and how much fun I actually do find it, I'm moving it up to an 8.5/10. It's fun, I like it a lot, I will probably watch it again at some point.

Looking Forward To

I'm honestly kind of out of the loop with this! I don't really know what is coming up, so my list is very short:

Only Friends

Dangerous Romance

Both of them seem messy, messy, and i am ready for it. I also can't wait for the Utsukushii Kare movie but I'm going to have to, so.

I'm also excited for whatever comes up for the renewed drama shower slot for MBS. I wasn't a fan of all of them last year (I loved one of them beyond all reason, liked two, was meh on two and DNF one), but I love that I can look forward to at least one drama coming out of Japan for a while.

Whew! That wasn't so bad, was it?

[mambo-by-a-mile]

story time + 😷

😷-Sick

'Oh, boy.'

'Upside to having a cold and fever; not having to do any work while you watch a princess hook up with would be prince frog for the trillionth time. Downside: just about everything else.'

'Let me explain. Neither me or Munk actually get sick a lot or easily. We have way too long lifespans with strong immune systems to show all those average weaknesses humans do-eh, if you are a human I meant no offense. But....for some reason it can still happen once in a blue star. Don't ask me how. And of course it jus HAD to happen to me. A hot minute ago during fall I decided to try my luck at gathering some pumpkin for potions, pies, spices-mostly pies and wicked decorating. Anyway mission was a success but my counting on it being not to chilly or wet from the rainstorm the the day before? Admittedly, not so much. Not like I felt sick right away. I just did my chores for the rest of the day after Mister Senior Assistant complained enough when I got back-man did I really want to start smashing and carving some of those pumpkin babies though but you know Munk. Fun is like poison to him. So I slaved away watching over the same fairy tales in this boring tower room, I began to feel a little lightheaded, and my nose was beginning to stuff up-ya know, that gross stuff. Guess Munk knew something was up because in his 'wise' words he told me I was 'pleasantly quiet' for me and 'I hadn't been driving him up the palace walls with my wisecracks, pranks, and troublemaking all afternoon' as if that's all I ever do around here. But no guess I didn't-not that I noticed. I was too beat at that point. The next morning was when things really got bad.'

'Felt as awful as Sleeping Beauty must have felt after being cursed or Snow White after biting into that poisoned apple when I woke up. Felt like that for the next few days to week. There was the shivering, the sweating, the sniffling, the dizziness. Geez. How in the name of whatever great Wizard came before the boss can you feel so hot and so cold at the same time? Sure, it seemed nice to get to lie around all day and sleep a lot but even a cozy bed with a silk blanket feels like a prison cell when you're forced to stay in it all day without being allowed to get up or do anything else. Not that I always felt halfway decent enough to even stand up during that time until my fever and cold were gone but point still stands.'

'Going further down Jack and Jill's steep hill some genius decided to build a water well on top of, all I was allowed to eat and drink was soup this, green tea that, more water here and porridge there. I never want to eat another bowl of chicken and potato soup for as long as I live. At least I got to sip it through a straw. Then there was the medicine the boss made me. Disgusting stuff that Munk of course said he would pour down my throat if I didn't take. Guy would also check in every couple hours just to make sure I was still in bed as if he couldn't trust me to stay still...bored...sniffling and coughing...shivering, sweating, and flushing for a whole day. Well, when he didn't come to bring soup, water, or tea and check my temperature as if I was some five year old who needed a nanny. And that's only from what I remember as I spent the other half sleeping or at least slipping in and out of sleep. I swear it honestly felt I was gonna MAKE like Sleeping Beauty and slip into a coma at times. Naturally, though, being the tough guy I am, I struggled through.'

'Speaking of remembering, there were times I must have been so beat from that dang fever I was half-conscious because there were a couple times I woke up feeling cold water against my cheek or forehead-not sure if it might have been Munk or the boss doing that-, my face or wrist being touched, and even a few times where I think I was being fed that soup, tea, and water. And you know what, the last one I know for sure because I decided to test it out. I even ended up making a fun little prank out of it. The next time after that heard someone come in I pretended to be out of it even though I was wide awake. I can one hundred percent confirm it was Munk because I did catch a teensy weensy peak. Bottom line, it was actually kinda nice to be spoon fed so I just didn't say anything. And I know he thought I wasn't fully awake because I heard him say that he actually kinda missed my jokes and wisecracks while he worked alone. Gotta say though, I think he must have been catching my own cold and becoming delirious himself because he is almost never that nice to me! For all my bellyaching about it, at least I made some fun out of it in the end and don't tell Munk but I guess it was kinda sweet to know I was at least well cared for. And especially don't tell him that I was awake for any of that.'

[dycefic]

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

“Lockdown protocols,” I told Sam quietly. “On my authorisation.” That takes a minute or two, though, so I went over to talk to Superdyne. “Sir, I have to ask how you even knew where to find this place.”

He smirked at me. “I have my ways,” he said smugly. He’d either bribed or beaten someone, that was my guess. “So this is where the villains shop? We all thought you went to Wal-Mart.” He laughed, like he thought it was clever.

“Yes, so you all say,” I said dryly. I didn’t feel like pretending he was the first person to make the bad joke. “My next question, sir, is what made you think it was a good idea to come in here.”

He spread his hands. “I’m one of you now!” he said happily. “I’m a bad guy! So now I guess I shop where the bad guys shop!” He looked around, frowning a little. “Although I was expecting more weapons and explosives. A… more villainous atmosphere. I didn’t know Evil-Mart had fresh produce.”

“I don’t advise buying herbs here unless you’re a magical practitioner. Some of them have… unusual effects.” A lot of our produce is normal stuff, but some of it not only isn’t legal, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. But the bright lights and the bakery?”

“We have excellent gluten-free breads. In many ways, Superdyne, this is just another store. We have sales, we mark down the breads in the afternoon, we even have a PA system.” I pulled out my handset, and thumbed the button that tied it to the PA. “Attention, shoppers,” I said in my most soothing Customer Service voice, which made him grin. “Evil-Mart wishes to inform you – “ The countdown on my handset reached zero, and I turned to look at the entrance as a huge blast door thudded down. That was the last part of the sequence – staff outside the area were already in lockdown and security were on their way. I smiled, and continued almost without a pause. “- That we are in lockdown at this time, due to the presence of Superdyne in the store. Please remain calm, and be advised that security are on their way to deal with the problem. If you have a personal grudge that you wish to address with Superdyne at this time, he is standing near Register Six with a stupid expression on his face.”

He was staring at me, stunned. “But… but…” he stammered, and damned if he didn’t look puzzled. “But I’m one of you now!”

“No,” I said flatly. “You were always evil, that’s true, but you’ll never be one of us. And for the record, I’m one of the people with a personal grudge. All those henchmen you’ve killed and maimed had families, asshole… and they all shop here.”

He swung at me, then, but I spent years in hench training. Even someone super-strong can be dodged, and once I slammed my cosh into his groin a few times his punches got a lot more aimless. Around then, Tiger Ty came over the register, claws out and snarling, and I figured I should stand out of the way.

About ten minutes later, I turned on the PA again. “Clean-up to Register Six,” I called, in the same special voice. “Category 7, class three. Shoppers, please be advised that lockdown is now lifted but Register Six will be closed until clean-up is completed.”

Hunter, who’d been working Register Six, came out from underneath it. He looked a little green. Well, he was still in his teens, this was probably his first fatal mobbing. “What’s Category 7?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I haven’t heard that before.”

“Biohazard.”

“Oh. Class three?”

“Send three people. He was a juicy one.” I stepped away from a spreading puddle of blood. “Run and get a couple of caution signs we can put around this mess.” I eyed it measuringly. “And one of those fifteen-gallon plastic tubs with a lid, I’ll damage it out.”

He eyed the mess. “Are you sure that’s big enough?”

“Yeah, the average human is only about seventeen gallons by volume, and I’m not going to put all the blood and mush in there, just the big pieces.”

He gulped. “Ah. Yes, ma’am.”

I called after him when he ran off. “One of the black tubs, not a clear one!” Which honestly should only be common sense, but you can’t count on a flustered teenager to have common sense.

We frown on killing customers at Evil-Mart, up to a point… but when a particularly murderous super-hero walks into our store, well, that’s something else. I’d have to fill out a ton of paperwork, though.

I had to chase off one of Doctor Malign’s minons and two members of the Genetic Reign before the clean-up crew arrived, both of whom urgently wanted samples. In the end I scraped a few pieces of liver and unidentified organ into two of the bags we use for possibly-contaminated money just to make them go away. (They’re good customers, and it was just going to go in the trash anyway.)

By the time the clean-up was done, all the big pieces were boxed up, and I’d finished the paperwork, my shift had been over for twenty minutes, and I’d been asked to come up to the boss’s office.

“Listen, I have no issues with how you handled the situation, I want you to know that.” Mr Trent leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips together. “It was quick, it was efficient, and… given your personal history with Superdyne, not to mention mine and that of half of our customer base… richly deserved.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. It came out too meek, and I cleared my throat and straightened up. It’s hard not to be intimidated by Mr Trent, when you’re in the same room with him. It’s not his fault, and he does his best, but even under the strictest control his fear-inducing powers tend to unsettle anyone who gets too close. We all know he’s not doing it on purpose and we try not to show our reactions. “Do you have any orders regarding the remains?”

“Doctor Order wants them.” He rubbed his chin. “Get someone from the pharmacy to prepare samples for him, please, including brain tissue. He’s our primary supplier, and we can’t offend him. As for the rest… as you know, I’m retired, and I don’t usually participate in the Endless War.” One of his hands dropped to his left thigh. His prosthetic leg is some of Doctor Order’s best work, but the injury that led to his retirement had been brutal even by our standards. “But this is different. Superdyne came here. To our place of safety. We need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

I nodded. “Do you want the remains dumped somewhere public? Some kind of dramatic display?”

“No. Something more direct.” He rubbed his chin again, then tapped the intercom on his desk. “Iris, please send up Miss Fedorova from Marketing and Mr Levy from the warehouse.”

“Yes, sir,” Iris responded, and he clicked off the intercom again.

“The three of you worked together very well, during the food poisoning incident,” he explained. “And I believe they can assist us in a satisfactory conclusion.” He hesitated, then smiled ruefully. “Perhaps you should wait outside until they get here. I can tell I’m unsettling you.”

“Sir, I know you’re not – “

“Not doing it on purpose.” He sighed. “I do appreciate how hard you all work to make me feel… accepted, I really do. But I’m very annoyed right now, which makes control more difficult for me, so I think we’d both be more relaxed if you waited outside while I do my meditation exercises.”

I waited outside. When the three of us went into his office again, the miasma of low-level fear was definitely a bit lighter, and he smiled. “All right. Now, this conversation is going to be very confidential, and I will remind you all of the agreements you signed when you were employed.” We all chorused agreement, and he nodded. “Good. Now, this is very much a secret, even among Evil-Mart staff, but we do have a few online clients who are… ah… on the other side of the fence.”

Ms Fedorova blinked. “What?”

Knuckles sighed. “We ship to a few heroes,” he explained. “The ones who are… less homo than sapiens, if you get my drift.”

I didn’t, and from her expression Ms Fedorova didn’t either. Mr Trent spread his hands, drawing our eyes to his fingers. Which as a rule nobody looks at, because there’s fourteen of them, with four joints in each finger, and we know he’s self-conscious about it. “The less… purely human ones,” he said quietly. “One of the reasons I created Evil-Mart was to give those who can’t pass for human, like me, a place to be… people. To have dignity. So that the obligate carnivores weren’t reduced to living on pet-food or scavenging for scraps, so that those with complex metabolisms could get the supplements they need so that people who are still people, for all their outward differences, could shop in safety. There are a great many more monsters, demigods, abominations of science and other non-standard persons among our set than among the heroes, and I wanted to meet their needs, as well as selling weapons and Lair-away-from-home sets and so on.”

“And there are a few heroes who order from us for that reason,” Knuckles added. “The ones who can’t get medications to suit their metabolism, or need to eat things that you can’t get easily anywhere else.”

I nodded, because that much I understood. We have some very esoteric ‘dietary supplies’ that start with fresh, healthy, well-treated and disease-free prey animals frozen whole (from mouse up to calf and goat kept in stock, larger sizes by pre-order, halal and kosher certified where possible) and end with human blood (rejected blood bank stock mostly, we have an arrangement), and human flesh and organs (sourced from hospitals, morgues and crematoriums, guaranteed no murder, at least not by us). “Well, I suppose that makes sense. I’m surprised we ship to them, though.”

“Oh, they don’t know we know. It’s all assumed names and secret bank accounts.” Knuckles grinned. “But Mr Trent has all our online customers identified before we ship. And for the ones who don’t have any other options, well… we let it slide.”

“I can see why you don’t want that to get out.” Ms Fedorova tapped her chin. “What does this have to do with disposing of the body? I was planning to set up a really ghoulish display in a public place somewhere, I already have some sketches.” Marketing for Evil-Mart is… well, it includes more than designing our sale flyers.

“No. We’re going to deliver them to a hero… one of the ones who owes us… and make it very clear that just because someone decides to admit he’s a villain, that doesn’t make him one of us and it doesn’t entitle him to union services,” Mr Trent said flatly. “I want to make it crystal clear to all of them that a heel turn does not mean their sins are forgiven, or that we will accept them as anything other than a very brief amusement.”

Late that night – we were all on overtime, but it couldn’t be done in daylight – we wheeled a cart down the run-down hallway of a shoddy apartment building. “This is a terrible address for a hero,” Ms Fedorova muttered. “Are we sure he lives here?”

“I deliver here a couple of times a month.” Knuckles was pushing the cart. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Ms Fedorova cleared her throat, coughed once or twice, and suddenly her voice was deeper and her very faint Russian accent was as thick as pea soup. “This is intimidation tactic,” she said, grinning toothily. “Do not act surprised.”

I knocked on the door, but let Knuckles do the talking. “Delivery, Mr West,” he called, using the fake name the guy had been giving.

It worked… the door was unlocked and opened almost immediately. “I scheduled the order for next – “ the mark said, and then we were pushing inside, slamming the door behind us.

“Do not be alarmed, Mr… Dinoid, is it?” Ms Fedorova said, folding her arms. “Evil-Mart is knowing all along your real identity. But you are needing to eat, and we are not turning down regular business, so we make no trouble.”

Knuckles rolled his eyes behind her back at how much she was hamming it up, but I waved a hand. Let her have her fun. So Knuckles started unloading the boxes onto the table while she talked. “First, your Budget Bunny Box. Your favourite, da?” The next box, smaller, plunked down. “Two fresh chickens, halal certified, healthy and having lived good life, gift for good customer.” Knuckles dumped the plastic tub on the floor. “And mortal remains of Superdyne, with note.”

Dinoid was staring at us, but that made him shift into a combat stance, his long claws spread. “The… Superdyne’s dead? And in there?”

“Well. Most of him. The big pieces.” Ms Fedorova shrugged an impressively Russian shrug. I hadn’t even known that was a thing, but when she did it, it was obvious. “You must understand, when a mob tears a man apart, it is hard to find every little piece.”

“I’m pretty sure Doctor Malign and the Genetic Reign took off with doggy bags,” I said, as if I hadn’t handed them over myself. “And Doctor Order probably has some of him too, by now. So looking out for clones would be a good idea, I don’t know if that’s in the note.”

Insofar as that reptilian face could show readable expressions, he looked shocked. “Why on earth would… why? He changed sides? And why did you bring him to me?”

“We know your address, we know you don’t want to turn us in because we’re the only ones who can supply your meals, and our boss wanted us to make this very clear.” I indicated the note. Since Ms Fedorova was hamming up her Sexy Russian Supervillain act, and Knuckles was very obvious Muscle, I figured it was on me to be the Reasonable One. “He might have stopped being a hero, but that didn’t make him one of us. That didn’t make him acceptable to us. Our boss wants it made very clear that your failures shouldn’t expect to be accepted by us… or even spared by us.”

He shifted slowly, the tip of his tail twitching. “I… see. I understand why you would reject Superdyne. He was notorious for killing and maiming people on… your side. But I know other defectors have been accepted. Philomel, for example.”

“Philomel was child of villains. She is young, she is rebellious, she sides with heroes for a while.” Ms Fedorova shrugged. “Is understandable, da? The young do foolish things. She comes home, all is forgiven.”

He nodded slowly. “Tenebrous?”

“That story I don’t know.” Ms Fedorova glanced at me.

I nodded. “Tenebrous was just a kid. He was twelve when Varide recruited him. Nineteen when he broke with the guy. Varide put a kid into combat, left him with massive PTSD, then ditched him when he had a breakdown and went too far. Mx Frantique at least made sure he had a safe place to stay and some therapy.”

“It’s happened a few times.” Knuckles rested his elbows on the cart’s handles, his inhumanly big, strong hands dangling. “But there’s a process. A system. If someone’s sponsored by a villain in good standing, like Frantique sponsoring Tenbrous, they can be accepted. Nobody gets to just choose to join. Especially not a smug, entitled prick like Superdyne.”

Ms Fedorova suddenly leaned forward, scowling. “And why are you called Dinoid? You are not dinosaur. You are clearly monitor lizard. Golden monitor, I think.” She reached out and prodded his arm. “And not healthy, either. Look at colouration! You do not keep environment humid enough. Are having trouble with shedding, da?”

Now we were all staring at her. “You’re a lizard expert now?” Knuckles asked.

She shrugged. “What? Is hobby. Mamma’s little Varanus Acanthurus are pride and joy. Sadly, cannot keep larger monitors in city. Is unkind.”

Dinoid ran a hand over his head slowly. “Not many people realize,” he said slowly. “That’s why I order from you guys. I used to get frozen… food… from a pet supplier, but then I got contacted by someone who told me there was another option.”

“Is good thing. Those pet suppliers, they are rogues. They do not keep animals healthy, can get diseases or mites from those things.” Ms Fedorova sniffed. “I would never buy from them. My babies would get sick.”

He actually chuckled, then, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re not wrong. After… this happened… I got really sick a couple of times before I figured out what to eat, and where to get it. And even the reputable suppliers don’t always have the healthiest stock.” He opened his mouth wide, making a gagging noise. “You have no idea how bad that ‘reptile food’ is. Eating whole animals may be a little disgusting, but it’s nothing to some of that stuff.”

“I believe it,” I said emphatically. “There’s a reason Evil-Mart has such an extensive pet-food line. The horror stories we hear from some of our customers… well, you’d believe it, I bet, but most humans just look confused.”

Knuckles nodded, and spread his hands. “People who can’t pass for regular humans… or even for people, the way most normies see it… are a lot more common on our side of the fence than yours. That’s why we delivered to you. We figured you really needed it.”

“Does he order from the pharmacy?” Ms Fedorova was around behind him now, examining his back. “He is having calcium deficiency, am betting. He needs nutritional supplement.”

“I take a nutritional supplement,” he said defensively.

“The one for normal-sized lizards is not enough for man-sized monitor/human hybrid,” she said firmly. “Check pharmacy section next time. We are having excellent selection of supplements for hybrids, and chart to tell you how much to take for body-mass.”

He looked back and forth between the three of us. “You people are… not what I would have expected from an evil supermarket.”

“We may be… morally challenged,” I said, shrugging, “but we’re not heartless.” I looked around his tiny, shabby apartment. “Unlike some of your lot. I thought you were on a team. Why are you living here?”

He ducked his head. “I couldn’t live at the base,” he said, his tail drooping. “My… I made people uncomfortable. And the stipend isn’t much.”

“Isn’t much? With the merchandising deals they have?” Ms Fedorova sounded shocked, and the accent had dropped back a lot. “I know for a fact that if the accountants ever got hold of their books they’d owe more in back taxes than… well, than Evil-Mart would if our illegal product arm ever got discovered. And we pay our taxes on the legitimate stuff scrupulously.”

Dinoid blinked rapidly, though I couldn’t tell whether he was more surprised by her suddenly dropping her act or the idea that Evil-Mart pays taxes. “You do?”

“Of course. Not under that name, of course, there’s a shell company.” She sniffed. “All villains do. Al Capone, you know. We’re not getting caught that way again.”

Knuckles and I both nodded when he looked at us, and he shook his head. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”

“It does.” I looked around again. The place really was crappy. “I know it’s a personal question, Mr… West, but under the circumstances I’d like to know… how much is that stipend?”

He looked down at the floor for a while, then cleared his throat. “Uh. $1100 a month.”

We all stared at him. Ms Fedorova’s mouth fell open. Knuckles looked shocked, and I was horrified. “$1100 a month?!” I asked, my voice coming out louder than I’d intended. “For risking your life on a superhero team?! I have teenaged cashiers working part-time who make more than that!”

He looked almost as startled as we did. “For working a cash register?!”

“Evil-Mart pays pretty good.” Knuckles shrugged. “But that stipend is disgusting.”

“You are being exploited,” Ms Fedorova said, sounding really aghast. “That is terrible. Why, baseline henchman pay is twice that, and there are danger bonuses and…” Her voice dropped suddenly. “You don’t have a union, do you?”

“A union? Of course we don’t have a…” He trailed off. “You mean you do?”

“Of course we do. An extremely well-armed one.” Ms Fedorova folded her arms. “Henchmen And Allied Industries has represented us for generations. The last time a supervillain executed a union henchman for failure, he was boiled in oil… literally. On camera. Oh, of course some of the less reputable villains just pick up small-time trash from the streets, untrained rabble from the gangs and so on, so they can treat them as disposable, but we union members are skilled workers, with rights and protections. I bet you don’t even get overtime.”

“Of course not. Crime happens when it happens, and we have to…” He trailed off. “You guys get overtime?”

“We’re getting double time and a half for this conversation. And an extra day off.”

His eyes widened again. “Really? Wow, that’s… even when I was working a regular job, before this, I didn’t get pay like that.” He looked down at his hands and bared his teeth in what looked like an unhappy expression. “And now I can’t work anything but this kind of job. People don’t like having a scary dinosaur in their restaurant.”

There was a long pause.

“You can cook?” Ms Fedorova asked carefully.

“Yeah. I worked in my parents’ restaurant before… this.” He gestured at himself. “They were killed when we were attacked, and I was… changed.”

We all looked at each other. “After you’ve returned Superdyne’s remains to whoever you consider appropriate,” I said, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down my number, “I’d like you to give me a call. Evil-Mart is always hiring in the bakery and deli, and I mean always. Most bad guys aren’t great cooks. We don’t know why, it just seems to be one of those things.”

“You want me to join the bad guys?”

“I want you to work in a bakery. Villains and henchmen need to eat, and so do their families. Nobody’s going to ask you to rip superheroes in half, just maybe make a sandwich that won’t give anyone food poisoning.”

“That’s a regular concern?”

“Six months ago the three of us ran Evil-Mart’s physical store completely unassisted for most of a day because the only people who weren’t down with food poisoning were the ones who’d had the vegetarian and kosher meals.” I shuddered at the recollection. “Trust me. Someone who can cater staff functions without a major disaster would never have to live in an apartment like this working for us.”

“And we get full benefits, including dental.” Knuckles was shaking his head. “I bet you don’t even get hospital.”

“What hospital would take me? I always figured I’d go to the zoo and talk to the vet if – “

Ms Fedorova actually put her arms around him. “You,” she told him firmly, “are going to resign your terrible exploitative job, and then I will personally sponsor you to the union immediately. I have a spare room. You will like it. Humidity and temperature can be set just how you like, and Mamma Yelena will take you to real doctor expert in health of hybrids.”

“Those exist?” he asked, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“Yeah, the Genetic Reign has like three of them,” I said sympathetically. “Listen, you can take some time to think it over, but you don’t have to put up with this kind of exploitation just because you don’t look human. Nearly a third of Evil-Mart’s staff can’t pass, and they’re treated just like everyone else.”

Superdyne’s dramatic demise got a lot of news coverage. Apparently it came as a real shock to the ‘good guys’ that there were some monsters even the superest villains wouldn’t embrace.

Dinoid no longer exists. Ismail Jameel works at Evil-Mart, and has expanded our fresh food lines a lot already. He’s a nice guy, and after Ms Fedorova told everyone how disgustingly he’d been exploited by those so-called ‘heroes’, he was welcomed with open arms. Literally, in at least one case – he’s dating someone from the warehouse, I’ve heard, though I don’t know who. He says we should rename the store, because we suck at being evil.

But evil is a really relative term. It can mean the blackest depravity, or a moment of viciousness, or even just ‘people on the other side’. Evil-Mart is called that because everyone, at least everyone on our side, is welcome. Plus, we all think it’s funny that the least-evil megacorporation is called ‘Evil-Mart’. What can we say? Bad guys have a sense of humour too.

Have an evil day!

[weebsinstash]

Maybe Val is a chubby chaser but is in denial. Like it that "Your not like my other workers and I like that. But the boss has to keep a profile. So I'm going to degrade you like no tomorrow."

Man the chubby reader community is STARVING and it shows. But I'm the same way, I'm just usually too embarrassed to write for it because, well, it just feels really indulgent and makes me feel like, dirty and guilty 😳

But yall i have got all sorts of Val x chubby reader ideas. I change it up based on how im feeling. Sometimes I make him unashamedly horny for all body types (which lowkey is how im HCing Ozzie as the fandom elected Better Valentino), or sometimes I make Reader the only exception (honestly yandere or characters in general who like you so much they basically omit parts of their personality is 👍 good food for me 👍).

I definitely think, though, that there's a bit of tension because of his position and he has this image to keep of being powerful and surrounded by sexy sluts that there are times where he would be very on the downlow about having feelings or being with you because, the company you keep reflects on yourself, and I bet there are definitely people that would shit on him for having a bigger partner, and you know Val, he's vain as fuck.

Fucking Val negging the Reader. He can be mean and tease you, so that when he finally does praise you and tells you you look pretty/handsome, it just feels so good, like you've fought for it and earned it, and you're so grateful to hear it, which is all part of the trap, keeping your confidence down so he can keep you under his thumb

This was originally a generic idea but I like it with the thick angle as well: I had this thought of, Reader living st the porn studio, right, and say Valentino concocts some sort of reason why he needs to start going through Reader's stuff, which is on his property anyways. Say one of his rings or colognes or something expensive of his is missing and he's drunk and accusing nearly anyone who walks by him. So he's going through your things as you watch on in horror when he finds IT: a cute but playfully sexy little item of lingerie. You're stuttering and stammering and he's grinning as you try to explain how, hey, you were talking with Angel and some of the other girls about how confident a person can wear in a pair of sexy underwear and how everyone needs at least one pair, so you bought yourself some lingerie and, hey, why is he giving you that dirty smirk for?

Suddenly he's demanding you put in on and wear it for him 😳 or, he's taking the little idk baby doll slip or whatever it is and turning it in his hands before sneering like "this is little kid shit, now I can REALLY get you something sexy" and next thing you know there's a ribbon wrapped box placed inside your room with a little note about how your vulgar boss is going to be dropping in directly to your room tonight and he wants you to "fix yourself up nice and pretty for him"

Also. God. So. For fun I've thought about a Reader who can travel to different Rings and shit and like. Imagine the drama of Val being on his "shut up i don't actually like you" routine and telling Reader they're like, icky and gross or whatever, and Reader just takes it, but then, Valentino is browsing a dirty magazine smuggled up from the Lust Ring, a magazine owned by Asmodeus himself, and whose picture does he find posing in lingerie for the camera? Yours. Maybe you're even the centerfold, all your curves complimented by nice lingerie and lace and silk

So obviously after he's done beating off to that, he's absolutely pissed that 1. Oh so you're tryna do sex work for someone who's not him huh? And 2. Why are you showing your body to other people before he's gotten to see it? And it was probably just some softcore posing but he's still incensed over it, that "someone else got to you first" and in a fucked up way he probably considers this a theft because "he owns you" and you working for someone else and using your body to make money for someone else is, in his eyes, taking money that would have been his

God. I've also thought of like, what if there wasn't a huge presence of bbw/bbm porn in Hell and Val just decides to turn you into one of his porn stars. Like I've pictured that Val is on set and one of his actors hasn't shown or is sick and here you're popping in, just briefly bringing him a coffee he's asked for when someone points to you and says "what about them? They're cute" and the next thing you know Val is watching you be railed by like 5 hellhounds while the cameras roll and suddenly you're like the biggest "big beautiful" porn star in the Ring of Pride

He's obviously possessive as hell BUT Val is definitely a cuck in the sense that he's a porn producer and he watches people get fucked all the time and I think he would definitely have a fetish for watching his precious little YN get absolutely DESTROYED by some mad dick and pussy, you know I'm right. I can also see him doing it as a punishment, like he catches some guy flirting with you and you're attempting to reciprocate and Val's all "oh so you wanna sleep around huh? Bet" and the next day has a martini in his hand while he watches you get spitroasted

Poor chubby YN is all lonely and horny and all you have is your douchebag creep of a boss constantly cockblocking you and making gross jokes about your body, either demeaning or "compliments" like how he'd like you use your thighs as earmuffs or "it's casual Friday, why are you still wearing clothes? :)"

Like I said.... lots of ideas 👉👈 kind of an embarrassing amount, really 👉👈

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

So....we're gonna get a story about that playboy outfit right? Because I've been saying for the longest that sub Luisa does not get the recognition she deserves

The lesbians have infiltrated my inbox like raccoons- I shall feed you all while I pspsps in a dark alley.

(Also they're referring to THIS adorable post;

Opening the Encanto was a change for everyone. Not only did it bring new people, new cultures, it also brought new concepts. Like money. Until the Encanto opened to the world, money wasn't a thing. You just had something, and you needed it. It wasn't a thing that affected the town too much-unless you wanted to buy from foreign merchants. Which is what Luisa was trying to do. Her dad's birthday was next month, and she saw just the most stunning metronome in the merchant's quare. But, she had no money.

Thankfully, she WAS offered a job. A job that required a...uniform.

"Luisa honey, you almost done?"

Her new 'boss' was a friend of the merchant, and bought the gift for her, letting her pay it back by working at her club. Luisa struggled in the changing room, the outfit a bit...much.

"Just one second! I've uh. Never worn something like this before."

"Well just don't take too long, everyone is so excited to meet you!"

She groaned as she looked at herself in the mirror. A leather one piece that BARELY covered her chest, black boots that almost reached her knees, and a set of floppy bunny ears. She felt ridiculous. But she wasn't above work, especially to give her Pa a good gift. She walked out, and the woman looked overjoyed, touching her arm in admiration. Luisa didn't mind it, especially since she was such a sweet lady.

"So it uh. Doesn't look bad?"

"Absolutely not! You look wonderful honey! Come on now, we're running a little behind!"

Luisa wasn't looking forward to this. The idea of men ogling her and catcalling her while she served them drinks- sounded gross. Least, that's what she thought the club was, until she walked in. There wasn't a man in sight. It was all women. Very...physically affectionate women. The light's were dim, she could smell shitty bar food and slight wisps of smoke. She felt eyes on her in a heartbeat, and she found herself shrinking.

"I uh. You sure I can't just carry stuff or-"

"Honey, you'll be fine! They're like that with new fish. Once you get comfortable, this'll be like your second home. Let's show you around!"

She walked Luisa to the bar, trying to ignore the gazes. She wasn't sure what those looks were, just that there wasn't a lack of them. She motioned to the woman behind the counter, a younger woman with dark hair, dolled up in a suit. She looked sharp. She looked Luisa up and down, gently whistling.

"Oh. You weren't kidding when you said she was an eye catcher."

"Right? Luisa, this is Martha, she's going to take good care of you. Now, I'm going to head to my office, paperwork to do. You come find me if anyone gives you problems."

With a pat to her bicep, the bubbly older woman left, leaving her with the firm faced woman. Martha held a gloved hand to her, shaking her hand.

"It's nice to meet you. Been working here long?"

"Since the place opened, yes. She's a friend of my family, so I offered. She tell you what your job is?"

"Uh yeah. I serve people, right?"

Martha nodded at another bunny in the corner. She was in the lap of another woman, showering her in attention as she drank her wine.

"And entertainment, upon request."

"She...didn't mention that part."

"She was worried it'd spook you. You're new, so you'll get a few of them. Don't worry though, they can keep their hands to themselves. For the most part. Now, let's get started."

---------------------------

Luisa thought she'd hate it here. Thought maybe she'd even be bad at this. Maybe it was just because it was her first week here, but it turns out, she was REALLY good at this. The woman were all different, but they all were friendly to her. Luisa was on her way back to the bar, about to pick up some drinks, when yet again, someone called out to her.

"Hey, Lulu! Do the thing again, my friend missed it!"

She sighed. She was hoping she'd get the next round of drinks before this, but oh well. Make them happy. She put the tray down, lifted her arms up, and flexed. The way they all squealed in delight got to her head, just a bit. She had been cheered for her strength before, by men and women alike. But this was so different. This was adoration, this was the sound of MANY women swooning for her. When they seemed satisfied, at least for now, she picked up her tray, making it back to the bar. Martha chuckled, putting the drinks on her tray for her.

"You're on fire tonight, Luisa."

"Yeah, you're stealing all our tables, cottontail."

A fellow server, Amy, stuck her tongue out at her playfully. Turns out, she got along VERY well with her coworkers too. Luisa shrugged.

"Sorry. If it helps, I don't get it either, you're WAY prettier than me."

Amy scoffed, as if she was offended. Then Satsuma followed suit, then Aubrey, then the rest of the servers seemed to huddle around her.

"Girl no, you say that again, imma get so pissed."

"Did someone say you weren't? Give me a table, I'll spit in their food."

"You're SO pretty, Luisa!"

Luisa couldn't lie, being pampered by so many women who quickly became her friends was honestly...nice. She found herself getting red in the face as she nervously hugged her arm.

"Aw, guys...really, that's sweet."

"Hate to interrupt this Luisa fest, which I love, good support girls,"

Her boss, Babs, immediately broke into the Luisa love circle, taking a hold of her hand.

"But I need to borrow her. Girls, handle her tables for her, she's going to be with me for the rest of the day."

They took care of Luisa's work, without hesitation. Luisa looked at her boss as she escorted her to a room in the back.

"Do you guys need help in the kitchen again? I'm telling you, losing stuff behind the stove that often isn't normal-"

"No no. I need you to entertain this reserved party for me. You have a fridge full of everything you need in there, just serve them and look pretty."

"You're panicking- they important?"

"Very. Very important clients, who are as rich as they are gay. They've critiqued EVERYTHING in here, even the size of the fucking ice. People like you, so this is a job just for you."

Babs held both her hands as they stopped in front of the door.

"If you make them all happy, you can consider your debt paid. Genuinely, I need this to go perfectly. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

"That's my girl. Now go on!"

Luisa was always a yes gal. Never really finding a way to say no to people, even if she wanted to. She took a deep breath, and walked right in. There were so many women in here, each one just. Oh so pretty. She felt herself clam up for a second, especially under their judgemental gaze. She licked her lips, before forcing herself to speak.

"Uh. Hello, ladies. I'm Luisa, I'm here to serve you all."

She felt like a lamb in a lions den. So many predatory eyes, so many sets of licked lips. One of them (a rather tall, long haired woman. The room seemed to focus on her, giving off the vibe that she was the leader), looked at her, a grin over her glossy lips.

"Oh, so YOU'RE Lulu. We've heard SO much about you."

"Think she's the only interesting thing about this place, Sonya."

She nodded in agreement. She motioned for the girls to scoot over a bit, before gesturing for Luisa to approach.

"She's right. Sit down for a moment, won't you? Humor us for a while."

"Yes ma'am."

She sat down, as she was told, and she immediately felt the girls swarm her like bees. Sonya let one of her nails drag down her bicep, humming in approval.

"You're a big girl, aren't you? I bet your girlfriend likes these muscles of yours."

"She does. Is what I'd say if I had one."

The girls muttered amongst themselves, as if in disbelief.

"What? No way! But you're so pretty!"

One woman felt at her other bicep, giving it a bit of a squeeze.

"And so strong!"

"And so big! Look at these broad shoulders, I'm SWOONING!"

"L-ladies, please..."

She was feeling a little embarrassed. So many sets of soft hands, smells of pretty and expensive perfumes overwhelmed her nostrils. Hands on her arms, her shoulders, and a few even trailed up her legs.

"Such NICE legs too!"

"Okay but like, look at this pretty hair! It's done up so beautifully! Oh I WISHED my hair looked this nice!"

The hand fiddling with a strand of her hair made her chuckle. All these pretty ladies thought SHE was pretty? It was a lot at once.

"Thanks. My dad did it for me."

The room flooded with 'awww's, all in pure adoration.

"Awww! She's a daddy's girl!"

"She's so cute!"

"Oh I could just eat you up!!"

"Sonya, you've been quiet!"

Sonya had been doing nothing but playing with her bicep while everyone else voiced praises for her. Sonya reached up to grab her face, letting her thumb caress her bottom lip.

"You have such nice lips. You must get girls wanting to kiss you often, don't they?"

"If uh...if they do, I dunno anything about it."

"Well. You will now, won't you?"

She pulled Luisa to her, pressing her lips against hers. It was a simple kiss, nothing crazy, but it still left her head spinning. The taste if black cherries clung to her lips once she pulled away.

"I...I uh..."

"Hey! I want a turn!"

Before Luisa could stop it, another set of lips were on hers. Then another. And another. She found herself losing track at how many women were kissing her, especially given the way the other hands moved. They were greedy now, squeezing and rubbing and searching. Heat singed her face once one of the hands drifted to right between her legs. The woman who was kissing her stopped as another spoke, pushing her attire aside in order to look at her embarrassingly wet pussy.

"Sonya, she's wet! And so CUTE! Can we play with her, please please please?!"

Sonya held one of her hands, decorating her skin with kisses and leaving purple smudges across her skin.

"Only if she asks. Do you want us to keep going, sweetheart?"

She hesitated. Even as the woman continued to smear different colored lipstick against her skin, even as they kept massaging and muttering praises over her body, she wondered if she should truly let herself be at their mercy. She was tempted to say no, when one woman's nails tickled against the back of her neck. Something about the way her shuddering made them giggle, just drove her crazy.

"Yes ma'am. P-please."

"Aw, daddy raised her with such manners! My turn!"

Said woman pressed her lips against hers, surprising her by sneaking her tongue right into her mouth. Other girls continued to savor her, tongues and lips against whatever part they could get their hands on. She jumped a bit upon feeling fingers graze against her wetness. Sonya cupped her cheek in her hand, hishing her in comfort.

"Calmase, my little pet. We're gentle with our toys. Just relax. Look at me with those pretty eyes of yours. You understand mommy?"

Luisa nodded, feeling her toes curl upon feeling a finger slowly push inside of her. The only fingers that had ever been inside of her were her own, so having a strangers inside was so...different. Luisa wanted to lean in to kiss Sonya again, only to have her pull away, wagging a finger in front of her face. Like a good girl, Luisa immediately knew what to do.

"I understand, mommy, r-really I do."

"Such a good girl."

Luisa lost herself in the hand touches and kisses. She practically melted into all their holds as the woman continued to finger her. One finger turned into two, two into three, before she seemed to grow bored of it, and just use her mouth. Luisa fought the urge to jump upon the feeling of a small, wet tongue lapping at her wet folds. She wanted to hold her head, in order to push against her cute face, but her hands were clearly busy, being buried in kisses upon kisses. That is, until that wasn't good enough.

Then they started to use her hands for more filthy ways. They used her fingers to rub at their own pussies, to grab at their tits, to shove in their mouths, to shove in other's mouths. Luisa wasn't even trying to do anything, she was just being touched and groped to their satisfaction. The one eating her pussy chuckled, getting a big head over the fluids dripping down her chin.

"I think someone's getting close! Hasn't anyone eaten you out before?"

Luisa tried to stop the drool from running down her chin, but she was failing.

"Uh...n-no. I don't uh, usually have time for this sorta thing. Or uh...girls don't look at me like that."

The room was in an uproar, even as everyone continued their actions.

"That's so dumb! Honey bunny, I'll be your girlfriend!"

"What if I want dibs!?"

"Nu uh, she's too pretty to share!"

Sonya held a hand up to silence everyone, before pinching Luisa's cheek.

"There's more than enough of her to share, girls."

"We can ALL be her girlfriend! Oh that's perfect!"

Luisa gave a weak nod. The one at her pussy hadn't stopped at all, grabbing her legs tightly, and forcing Luisa to smother her with her thighs. She'd tell them the sky was red if it meant keeping her from stopping. Her nose pushed against her clit, her lips and tongue slurped her up- it was killing her. Sonya held her face, letting herself lips bury themselves in the crook of her neck.

"Why don't you cum for us, honey? You're so pretty and precious. We'd love to see a big girl like you cum."

"Yeah, cum all over her face, Luisa!"

"She's going to look so cute! I bet she bites her bottom lip!"

"I bet she curls her cute little toes!"

"I bet her body gets all tense!"

It turns out, Luisa did all three. She only lasted a few more seconds before cumming right into that girl's mouth, swearing under her breath, before biting her bottom lip, hard enough to make it hurt. The woman ate her out the whole way through, only showing mercy when Luisa started to whine. She pulled away, and Luisa was about to say thank you, when another woman took her place, kneeling in front of her, and enveloping her pussy in her mouth. Luisa didn't know how long they'd keep her. But she'd be patient.

She was a good little bunny.

[yeahimaloser]

Stuck In An Elavator With You

Shy!Hawks x Reader

Hi, so this story is about a headcanon I have about Hawks secretly being shy around his crush! 

I don’t usually make x readers were the reader has a backstory/background, but I liked this backstory for the reader so I hope you enjoy!!

. . . 

Keigo tapped his foot anxiously on the ground, heart thumping and practically racing.

He had a good reason to be this riled up, he really did.

For whatever reason, Keigo Takami, also known as Pro Hero Hawks, had a particular repetition of being a flirtatious man, always seeking a new companion. He, nor his agency, knew where these rumors came from, but his press advisors told him that; “People will eat this up!” “This’ll be good for business!” And although he did nothing to refute those claims, they weren’t exactly true.

The truth was, his love life was practically nonexistent, he hadn’t really dated anyone before (not seriously anyway), so when he began to develop feelings for a certain someone, he was surprised, to say the least.

But, he didn’t get flustered around just anyone, he was a hero, a spy, he knew how to keep a clear head. The only person he would ever get flustered around was you.

You would think that pro hero Hawks would have some natural charm to him, but no, he becomes a mess around you. He felt pathetic if he was being honest.

You worked at the HPSC, which were his bosses, the people who helped to train him to be their personal hero, so of course, he got well acquitted with you. Whenever he entered the building he would usually be greeted by you, smiling at him, making conversation of any kind.

He liked how easy he found talking to you, he loved it really, the way you didn’t mind his bluntness, the way you would laugh at his crummy jokes, it made his day easier, it made going into the HPSC building feel more bearable.

He had known you for about a year, talking to you when you came to drop off documents, when he came in you always made sure to greet him with his favorite canned coffee in hand.

He didn’t remember when he got like this when he started to get flustered by you all the time, when he talked his words would come out all jumbled up when he talked to you, his face becoming red whenever you so much as touched his elbow. But, he still loved seeing each time he had to come in, it practically made his week each time.

Of course, luckily, he always had an excuse in hand. That he had stuttered out of exhaustion, that he blushed when you taped his shoulder because that’s where a villain had hit him.

Yet today, he didn’t see you. And he had been prepared too, washing down his nerves and trying to make himself the calm, confident, pro hero people loved, he knew he could swoon you if he acted as the charismatic hero he was. But you weren’t there, and he didn’t like it.

So, he patiently waited for the elevator to bring him up to the higher-ups, looking around the building's main corridor, expecting you to turn the corner any moment, and to smile at him, making his wings sputter and his mind race.

He bounced his leg up and down, seemingly unable to stand still at all when he felt a small tap on his arm.

He was prepared to turn around to offer an autograph, but the words stuck to his throat.

Oh.

Whatever nerves he had thought he had taken care of re-surfaced, making his mind bubble and his tongue feel numb in his throat.

You were right there, only a few inches from him, smiling, your presence alone throwing him off guard.

“Jeez, you really can’t sit still can you,” you said in a teasing tone. “I suppose I should expect that from the man that always moves fast, huh.”

Keigo didn’t know if he would call you a friend, although he did have feelings for you, he knew they were most likely one-sided. So, he just called a work friend (although he desperately wished you two were more). 

Of course, that's when his mouth decided not to work, “O-oh, hi there Y/N, you look- how are- did you,” he mentally cursed himself, wanting desperately to have a disappearing quirk right about now. 

But luckily, before you could even say anything, the elevator dinged loudly, the people on board quickly got off, seemingly in a rush to get out.

He made his way in, letting you go first like a gentleman, yet, he managed to trip when he entered, looking like a fool. 

Yet, to his surprise, you just giggled, “I suppose even top-ranked heroes lose their balance.”

Keigo nodded, looking anywhere but you in order to get his red face under control.

“I’m guessing you're on your way to the top? To the higher-ups?”

This time, he had collected himself enough to look at you and smile, “Yup, that's the one.”

He gave himself a little pat on the back for not screwing that up. 

You pushed the button to the top floor, giving him a small smile in return.

The elevator was extremely pristine, the carpeting was soft, the walls of the elevator were lined with some sort of expensive metal. Paintings hug down, making the elevator have that rich sort of feel.

He anxiously looked around, desperately trying to find the courage to speak, but none came to him.

Luckily though, you spoke first, “I saw you on TV the other day, beating up that nomu must have been tough. You gotta work with Endeavor though! And I know he’s your favorite.”

His ears turned pink, did you really remember that from that throwaway conversation you two had about heroes?

It had been about a few weeks ago, maybe three he really couldn’t remember, but he did know he still got extremely flustered around you at that time. 

He was waiting in the lobby that most had to sit in to meet with the higher-ups, he had gotten a coffee, waiting patiently when you sat down next to him.

You made a bit of small talk, him listening closely, chiming in so you wouldn’t lose interest in him, yet not being able to find his voice all that well.

It had started when you commented on Gang Orca coming in for a visit, you told him how cool you thought he was, with his different kind of hero aesthetic, saying how, “You don’t really see a lot of scary-looking good guys, but I met him, he’s actually pretty polite.”

He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help but get jealous. He wished you would say how cool his quirk was, or how you thought he was ‘pretty polite,’ he just wished he could have the guts to say something, anything flirtatious to you to show you how interested he was in you.

It bugged him, who many heroes you probably knew. He wasn’t a special case, he knew that.

You weren’t at all in the high up of the HPSC, you barely knew anything about what was going on in the commission. You were just someone who ran the errands of the HPSC, giving paperwork to heroes and police, it was probably a very taxing job.

But Keigo liked to believe you two had a special bond, maybe....maybe you even felt the same way he felt about you.

“How about you, Bird Boy? Got a favorite hero,” you asked, a lightly teasing tone in your voice.

He wanted to refute you, saying something quippy like he normally would. But the way your eyes shone with genuine curiosity, the way your face was limited by the light of the lobby you both waited in. Even if you were just in your normal, everyday state, you still made him flush with nothing but a glance.

He managed to sputter out, “Endeavor, I’ve liked him since I was a kid.”

You grimace, “I don’t like him all that much, he's very rude and mean when he comes in or I drop something off for him. He's not like you, you're nice and easy to talk to, he always seems to have a problem with anyone he sees as unworthy.” 

You rolled your eyes at the memory of the flame hero, but you didn’t notice how his hands had griped around his coffee can. 

You thought he was nice and easy to talk to. He wanted to echo the sentiment, he wanted to say that he loved talking to you and maybe, if he had the strength, segway into asking you out for coffee at a real cafe.

Of course, that's when he was called into his meeting.

 He smiled fondly at the memory, and how it was so cute of you to remember. 

“Yeah, I can't believe you remembered,” not being able to keep the light edgy of nervousness out of his voice.

You nodded, “Well yeah,” you leaned carefully against the railing of the elevator, picking at your nails, “I like talking to you, Hawks, you're a good guy. You come in and actually treat me like a decent person, you wouldn’t believe how many heroes get such big heads, thinking that the person dropping off their paperwork is, well I don’t really know how to describe it really,” you paused for a moment, “they think that I’m not worth their time I guess, it's kinda gross if I’m being honest.”

Hawks frowned, “That's not fair, I’m sorry. That's really rude of them, they should treat you better than that.”

You looked up at him, and his breath caught in his throat, “See? You’re so nice to me, even if you don’t have to, I enjoy talking to you Hawks, thank you.”

You neared him, his body stiffened as you did so, “I was actually wondering if you would maybe wanna grab something to-”

A loud thud and an ear-piercing scratch cut you off, the elevator floor jiggled and slowed, the fast pace stopping and becoming slower and slower.

But the elevator gave a strong jolt, and before Hawks could even think, his hero instincts kicked in.

He grabbed you, pulling you against him, his wings (or what was left of them) wrapped protectively around you and him. 

He pulled you down to the floor with him, wings blocking out the lights flickering above you two, his body taught and waiting.

After the elevator had come to a complete stop, his brain had caught up to the realization of the piston he was in.

He quickly leaped away from you, moving off the floor.

“I-I’m so sorry! It-it’s just, the elevator made my hero instinct act up! A-are you ok,” he reached a hand out to you, watching you breathlessly panting.

“Y-yeah I’m ok. What happened? A villain attack,” before he could answer, he heard the intercom speak before he could.

The robotic voice spoke, “Please stay calm, we are experiencing technical difficulties, please stay inside the elevator as we are sending help. Thank you for your patients.”

His body stiffened. Trapped, in an elevator, with you. He didn’t know if this was his worst nightmare or a dream come true.

You sighed, “Damn, seriously? Stuck in an elevator was not how I wanted my day to go.”

He gave a nod, trying desperately to calm his nerves.

He could do this, he had the chance to flirt and ask you out, this was a blessing in disguise, he knew it. All he had to do was get his act together, calm himself and make a few flirtatious remarks, and not get flustered.

But he couldn’t, his heart was beating out of his chest. He wondered for a brief moment if you could hear it in the silence of the elevator, the music had stopped, casting a silence around the small space.

“So, I guess we’re gonna be here for a while,” you shivered, “why is it so cold in here?”

It was as if his body thought before his mind did. He shed his jacket, walking it over to you, placing it on your shoulders lightly, “U-uh, h-here, don’t wanna catch a cold.”

You looked at him, eyes wide, “Oh, I can’t take this, what about you? Aren't you cold? I can’t let you give this to me.”

He held out his hands, shaking his head, “No, just take it, I insist, really.”

You hesitated for a moment before nodding, looking around you said, “I guess we better get comfortable.”

You slid down the wall of the elevator, sitting against the wall as you lay your legs on the red carpeting of the elevator.

He mimicked your actions, flowing you down on the opposite wall.

His nerves picked up again, suddenly at a loss for words. He had had plenty of conversations with you, yes, but his feelings for you had gotten worse and worse over the months. At this point, he became tongue-tied just by looking at you, worrying he would say the wrong thing and making you hate him.

Luckily, you broke the silence, “I wonder why this happened, maybe a mantis issue? Hang on, maybe my phone works,” you reached for your pocket, pulling it out and giving it a few clicks as your brow furrowed and you sighed.

“I just got a text from my boss, he said help is on their way. He says he doesn't know how long we’ll be here, could be 10 minutes for could be a few hours.”

He hoped you thought the gulp that he had done was out of anxiety of getting stuck, but in reality, it was one of worry about you being in an elevator with him. 

He didn’t say anything, nerves pulsing through him. Although he desperately tried to come up with something to say, something that would make you blush instead of him, nothing came to mind.

He mentally cursed himself. This was the perfect opportunity to be the dashing hero that everyone adored, to show you that he could protect you and calm your nerves. He desperately tried to think of anything to say, but his mind was muddled with the thought of sounding ridiculous.

What if he sputtered over his words? What if he said something to make you uncomfortable? What if you hated him?

Those thoughts caused him to tense up, the air feeling heavy around him. 

“You know,” his head snapped up, looking back at you, “I think there wouldn’t be a better person to be stuck in an elevator in!”

He gulped, his nerves shot firing, his throat constricted to where he couldn’t even say anything in response.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” you said, flashing him a light smile, “I wanted to thank you, that nomu attack almost hit this place, I’m sure if you weren’t there, we would all be in big trouble. But what can I expect from the number 2 hero.”

Keigo continued to look down at the floor, refusing to open his mouth as he was sure he would say something to ruin this moment.

You just kept complimenting him and he really didn’t know what to say back, or if he could say anything at all.

He could feel his face heating up every second, his hands becoming more and more clammy against his pant leg. 

He didn’t know if he wanted you to stop or continue.

You soon noticed the silence, confused and worried etched onto your features.

Slowly, you made your way over to him.

“Hawks,” you said lightly, “are you feeling ok? Your face is really red.”

You reached out, almost stroking his cheek, and before he could even think, he snatched your hand away.

“I’m fine!”

You backed up, feeling pain shoot through your heart.

He cursed himself. Why would he do that! He was an idiot, he was just so worried you would see him flustered and well…

 The air around you two became thick with tension.

Keigo felt as if it was difficult getting air into his lungs, he felt like he could barely move.

Slowly, he could feel the air around you two become more and more uncomfortable, and all Keigo wanted to do was roll in on himself.

Of course, you felt it too. 

You knew something was off about him, he had been acting strangely around you the last few months. 

When you had first met Hawks, his charismatic and charming nature made you gush over him immediately. The confidence that oozed from him was so compelling, you were mesmerized by him.

But know? With the way, he had been acting recently? You worried if he was mad, or maybe even hateful towards you. You had grown anxious of that very thought, wondering if you had said or did something that he disliked.

When you two first met, he had easy, flowing conversations with you. But now, he was like a sputtering child. Shy and quiet, slinking away from you, even scared of you it seemed.

You sighed, feeling even colder although Hawks had given you his jacket.

Finally, as if your heart and body couldn’t take it anymore, you spoke, breaking the suffocating silence, “Is something wrong? You keep acting so weird around me.”

His head shot up, looking you over, his mouth sputtering words that didn’t fit together. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes had grown wide, his hands frantically moved, but you cut off his actions.

“We used to have such nice and casual conversations. But lately, it's as if you hate them as if you don’t wanna talk to me. Did I do something wrong? If I did, can you tell me? I promise I’ll stop doing whatever it is!”

This time, he was surprised to find his words coming easily to him, “No! You didn’t do anything at all, I promise! I love talking to you, I love walking into the building and seeing your face, watching you talk is....mesmerizing,” you watched him with wide eyes, and a part of him wished he could stop talking then and there.

But he continued.

“A-and you're so cute with the way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, and you always make my week whenever you come in, I always make sure to be in the office when you're around because I know you’ll come and talk to me. I love seeing your smile when you see me, the way your face brightens up. I don’t hate you, I…”

The words stuck to his throat, but he was unable to get them out.

Your face was twisted into one of shock, still staring at him you said, “You really think all that stuff about me? You really get excited when I come into your office?”

He nodded, looking anywhere but your eyes scared he would confess more to you if he did.

You neared him, hesitant at first, scared he would lash out at you again. Nevertheless, you persisted.

“Hawks,” he could feel your warm breath near him, making him tense, “do you...do you like me?”

It was an embarrassingly childlike thing to say, almost as if you were to children admitting crushes to each other. 

Yet, you couldn’t find the best way to fraze it.

With the way Hawks’ body froze over, the redness of his face spreading to every part of his ears and down his neck, you were fairly sure you were correct.

Yet, you waited for a moment for him to confirm or deny.

“Y-yeah, I’m s-sorry.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, which made Hawks lookup with fearful eyes.

“Oh! I wish you would have told me sooner! Hawks,” you looked back to him, “I like you too stupid!”

If you thought his face couldn’t become redder, you were sorely mistaken. His whole body stiffened, eyes widening, he gaped at you.

“R-r-really?”

“Yes,” you giggled, “for the longest time, too. I believe I’ve liked you since the first time we’ve met. I kept wanting to ask you out, but I guess I was just worried about how you would react, but this whole time you’ve liked me too. I guess we both suck at the romance thing huh.”

He nodded, unsure what else to do.

“And now here we are, admitting our feelings in an elevator, geez, this is beyond cheesy.”

A small chuckle escaped him, “Yeah I guess it is huh. All this time I’ve been nervous for nothing.”

You giggled, “Yup, for nothing. You acted like a scared schoolboy afraid of telling his crush his feelings.”

He smiled, “Well that would make sense, I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

You froze, brain stopping as your heart quickened its pace, “What? Never?”

His body went rigid with the realization of what he had admitted, “No. The commission didn’t want me to get distracted I guess. So I never made any effort to find one, so- um,” he looked away, “Yeah…”

You looked up at him in shock, and before you could stop, the words poured out of your mouth, “What? But you’re- you’re Hawks! People would die to go out with you, your young, nice, charming.”

He scoffed, “Come on, do you really think me acting the way I have been has been charming? And I’ve been so busy...my whole life I guess, so having a relationship has never really been in the cards for me I guess.”

You couldn’t help but slump at his words, “So, you still can’t have a relationship?”

He looked up at you, frantically, “No no! Now I can! I was um…” he was at a loss for words, looking down again.

“I was actually wondering…” his words stopped slowly.

“You were wondering if…” you said slowly.

“If maybe...you would...want to…” god he just couldn’t get the words out, “want to...go out with me?”

He held his breath, till he felt your hand run through his hair.

He looked back at you, seeing you smile before saying, “Well, how can I say no to the number two pro hero? And the guy that I’ve had a crush since… forever.”

He felt his heart leap, his nerves settling, his face coming laxer. He felt like pinching himself, thinking there was no way this was right, no way you had actually liked him back, yet here you were, telling him you wanted to go out.

He felt like he could do anything at that moment like nothing was holding him back.

You brought your hands to his cheek, making him come closer to you.

“Hawks, have you ever kissed anyone before?”

He was thrown off by the question, face, yet again, becoming a scarlet red like his feathers.

“I- well...um,” he nervously scrambled for the words that couldn’t be found.

You just smiled reassuringly at him, gently creasing his face, “It’s ok, Hawks, you can breathe now,” you giggled a bit.

He let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Slowly, he leaned forward, looking desperately into your eyes, as you looked desperately back into. 

Slowly, your lips met, soft and subtle. Gentle, and light, Keigo thought there was no better sensation. The way your lips shaped around his felt like pure heaven, he chided himself for not kissing you sooner.

You brought a hand up to his hair, running your hands through it, pulling him more into you. And boy, did he want to get closer.

If it was up to Keigo, he would have spent his whole life kissing you, but alas, you pulled away.

“Wow,” he didn’t mean to say it, it just sorts of slipped out.

You chuckled lightly, “Not so bad yourself, huh.”

As you two laughed, you both felt the elevator slowly rise. 

“Oh well,” you sighed, “looks like they figured it out.”

“Um so,” Keigo commanded himself to be steady, “I know a pretty good cafe. Would you...want to come, with me, together, as a-” you cut him off.

“It’s a date.”

. . .

Hawks tag list

@under-the-clouds @shylesbiannerd @roko-ppk @Mikazuki @1small-frogs

[jadoue1999]

Peter Maximoff’s complicated relationship with Star Wars

Summary: Peter didn't like Star Wars. But not because they were bad movies, no. It's because they somehow were very similar to his own life, and they also showed him what might have been, had his twin lived long enough. This is the story of Peter Maximoff, told through the many similarities between the original trilogy and his own life.

*All Star Wars quotes are in italics*

Peter doesn’t like Star Wars

Don’t get him wrong, the movies are great. The first movie had come out when he was 22 years old, and he had found it amazing. He had never seen anything like it before and had sneaked into the movie theater to rewatch it with his twin several times.

‘I need your help, Luke.’

It was almost ironic how his life resembled some parts of the movie. Both he and Wendy had some characteristics of Luke and Leia. He was the goofball, the one who had been recruited to break someone out of an impenetrable prison. Hell, Charles could be Obi-Wan, the old wizard with strange mind control powers (though he didn’t have them at the time), Hank was Chewbacca, the fierce beast who was loyal to his family, and then the claw guy, Logan, was Han Solo. The dark-haired man with a don’t-mess-with-me attitude that would shoot you down without hesitation. That made him Luke, the farm boy that was raised isolated, unaware of the true danger. Only difference was that Erik wasn’t Leia, no he was Vader. Wendy was Leia, the fierce, loud mouthed, badass princess that didn’t let anyone boss her around.

They had loved the first movie, but then tragedy struck. His twin’s powers were always unpredictable, always on the verge of lashing out. He had tried to help as much as he could, but just a few months after their 23rd birthday, it was too much for Wendy to bear. She lost control and died, taking half a block with her. Peter did his best to carry on, but their lost connection was all he could feel. The aching emptiness that had always been occupied by his twin sister. It took awhile, but he did eventually go see the second Star Wars. It was... a bittersweet experience to say the least.

Seeing the big bad Vader being related to Luke really did a number on him. All he could think about was the fact that he too was related to a literal terrorist. Someone who had hurt hundred of people and would probably not hesitate to hurt him as well. And then it was revealed that Luke and Leia shared a connection, where they could hear each other and feel each other, and it just overwhelmed him. Minus the kissing (ew, that was gross, why did they even include that?!) Luke and Leia’s relationship reminded him of his and Wendy’s.

That’s why he wasn’t surprised when they were revealed to be twins in the next movie.

Actually, he had been surprised, but more about the fact that his grief took over for a moment. Seeing Leia try to reason with Luke, telling him that nothing good would come out of chasing Vader, their father... that was a conversation that had really happened after their mom told them who exactly was Magneto. Peter had decided to chase Erik down the moment he had resurfaced.

‘I won't fail - I'm not afraid.’

‘Oh, you will be. You will be.’

His mom had warned him about Magneto, how nothing good came out of chasing ghosts, but he had to try. A confrontation with the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Cloud city The mansion was full of people, and the place was exploding. He saved them all (minus one), of course, because that’s what he did. Why be a speedster if you can’t save people from catastrophe?

‘Luke, don't - it's a trap!’

Yeah, it had been a trap, alright. But unlike Luke, he hadn’t had Leia to warn him. So, the carbon freezing chamber knock out gun had worked. That’s how he ended up captured by the government and woke up in a weird green room. The others, he could understand why they were taken, they seemed to know the man holding them, but why him? Peter was of no interest to them. Unless they knew he was related to Magneto and planned to use him as a bargaining chip, but it seemed unlikely.

Then, they were freed and, on their way to confront En Sabah Nur, or as Hank had described him, the blue god. He had told Raven about his relationship with Erik, and she promised him that she would make sure she would tell him.

‘There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you.’

The cold, cold eyes of Magneto were staring at him with something that seemed almost like interest. “And you?”

‘I am your father.’

It was right there, a perfect opportunity served on a silver platter. An opportunity to make Erik realize he wasn’t alone, that he had more family. Perhaps he’d turn back to the light side if he knew. “I’m your-“

But it was Wendy who was the brave one, she was the chosen one. She never would have hesitated. And he wasn’t his sister. “I’m here for my family too.”

It was all sad and tragic because his life was just like that. He could feel Raven’s eyes on him, she couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told him, but she couldn’t know about Wendy. It was his own painful secret.

With how similar his life was to Luke’s he wasn’t sure why he was even surprised when he got his hand cut off leg broken. Then, there he was, trying to hold on to consciousness as shock settled into his body.

‘Hear me! Leia!’

Oh, how he wished Wendy were here. She would have destroyed them. Peter would have done anything for his twin to answer, like Leia did with Luke. But she was dead, there was no one to answer him. Just the cobwebs of their broken connection and the burning pain of his leg. He didn’t really care what happened next, he was all too focused on getting his message to his long-lost sister. He didn’t really believe in a higher power, of some all-powerful entity that somehow watched over everyone. He did, however, believe in Wendy, his strong, beautiful, powerful sister.

‘I would have preferred her too’

The blue God’s voice resonated in his head, catching him off guard. No one had ever reached in his mind like that, Wendy only could because of their connection.

‘If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will.’

Would his father have tried recruiting Wendy for his brotherhood? Yeah, definitely. She would have been the true last hope. A daughter to be proud about. One with abilities beyond anything anyone had ever seen. One that truly would have saved everyone, hell, she would have prevented the mansion from exploding and never would have been captured in the first place. The blue god looked at him with disdain in his eyes and Peter knew it didn’t mean anything good. He tried to crawl away, but in his current position, that did absolutely nothing.

‘It is pointless to resist, my son.’

En Sabah Nur grabbed him by the hair and tugged, holding him painfully upright and vulnerable. He’d always hated staying still, he was always too full of energy, always eager to chase after the next distraction.

Peter looked up at his father, trying to see if he would do anything, but he saw nothing but indifference. Magneto didn’t care about him. He was an insignificant mutant, a face amongst a thousand others. Soon to be counted amongst the hundred of corpses that Erik had seen in his life.

‘Now, young Skywalker...you will die.’

The god pulled his head back sharply, exposing his throat. “End him.”

One of his horsemen was approaching him with a sharp sword. Peter was slightly thankful that it wasn’t his dad that was chosen to be his executioner. His powers had kicked in, trying to give him an opportunity to escape. But it only made his imminent doom even worse.

Then, he didn’t die, and the hope of seeing his twin again was brushed aside for another near-death situation. As it turned out, Raven was a great person when the son of her friend was in danger.

En Sabah Nur let him go too quickly to focus on the blue mutant. He gasped and writhed as he fell to the ground as electricity pain coursed through his body. The blue god didn’t care about him, he continued calling for Charles, calling for his true target.

‘Father! Help me!’

He should cry out like Luke did, there was no way Magneto would act if he didn’t. Then again, he didn’t have a clue who he was. It was doubtful he remembered him from the Pentagon, it had been nearly 10 years and Erik had had a whole other family since. He was just the nameless idiot that got a big head and tried to take on a god and got defeated like a loser.

In the end, they were all fine, just a little shaken. Erik gave him a weird look, either he pitied him, or he was wondering what he had wanted to tell him. But Peter was on the verge of passing out, there was no way he could hold a conversation at the moment. They came back to the mansion and Peter decided to stay, maybe getting out of his isolation wouldn’t be so bad.

So, even if his life was similar to Star Wars, in its turns and tragedy, it wasn’t even close to how the trilogy ended. The scruffy Han never came back, Obi-wan wasn’t next to a redeemed Anakin (he just left all together) and Leia wasn’t at his side anymore. A happy ending wasn’t something that happened in real life. Everything he wanted resolved wasn’t wrapped neatly into a bow. He still had his loads of daddy issues caused by a father who didn’t know was a father and Wendy, his amazing long gone twin still wasn’t at his side. Peter figured that some good would eventually come to him, it couldn’t be all bad, right?

‘This is our most desperate hour.’

He had faith in that, so, when he was woken up by a burning sensation in his chest, he did his best to understand. The pain was so familiar, it was grief. But not his grief, no, this came from the connection he shared with his twin.

“Wanda?” he called out. Using her real name because she was calling to him. Because she needed him. Because she was somewhere all alone.

“I had a brother, his name was… Pietro.”

It was painful for her to talk about him, so he made sure to let her know through their bond that he was there for her, she just had to reach out. Wanda was confused to feel him, but her scarlet magic soon opened a portal. It might be a trap, there was no way to be certain, but Peter trusted his sister. He took and deep breath and ran into the portal without hesitation. She was alone and she was suffering, it was his job as her twin to help her.

‘Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.’

[glattandblade]

hanahaki fic with any character?

Sure thing! Thank you for your request <3 I’ve never written Hanahaki before, so I hope I did it justice :D Thank you again!

By Author Blade <3

Title: Hanahaki (C!Schlatt x GN!Reader)

Summary: You’ve developed Hanahaki disease. And the cure seems out of reach.

Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending!), lots of mentions of death, also lots of mentions of vomiting & coughing (related to flowers), cursing

Word Count: 1212

Recently, your illness has been getting worse.

What started as coughing up a few petals every couple of days has gradually grown into choking on full bouquets. 

Your doctor had told you it was Hanahaki, the disease of unrequited love. Your face had paled at that. The only way to cure Hanahaki was to have your beloved return your feelings. And God knows that wasn’t going to happen, on account of your “beloved” being kind of a dick.

Schlatt’s a self centered, rude, annoying, fucking dick.

But all the same, you loved him. 

It’s gross.

The flowers started forming when you began working for him. It was hard moving and starting a new life, but you found yourself very close to your boss- the President. He was kind to you… sometimes. Being his secretary, you had the power to fuck him over a bit, so he usually leaned on your good side.

That doesn’t mean you were free from his teasing and overall cockiness.

As the disease progressed, you started to wonder why you were in love with someone like him. Why go through all this pain for him? What’s the fucking point if nothing is going to come out of it? You’d be leaning over the toilet, choking on your third rose, wishing you could just Get. Over. Him.

But then he’d gently knock at the door, ask if you were okay, and your heart would squeeze. You’d quickly flush away the flowers, tell him you were fine, and hope to God that he didn’t see it as important enough to prod.

It worked for a while, but then it became a daily occurrence. 

You’d have to slip away from your duties after a terrible coughing fit to go get it all out of your system in the bathroom. At first, Schlatt was angry that you’d leave your desk or skip out on meetings, but then he noticed the pattern. He never pushed you further than asking if you were alright through a closed door whenever he passed by and heard the coughing. He did feel like his secretary’s health was something he should know about, though. He just never knew how to approach you about it.

Caring would look vulnerable, and he’s got a fucking country to run. He was never good with feelings in the first place anyway, so he just stuck to the sidelines, making mental notes on your health for the day. Maybe one day you’d tell him and he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Or you’d die and he would know the answer.

What he didn’t know was that thoughts like those were what was killing you.

After a particularly hard day, you spent the whole night over the toilet. He had touched you. A light graze of the fingers, sure, but it was enough to send the flowers into overdrive. You called in the next day, hoping everyone would assume that you were just overworked and needed the day off, but Schlatt was more aware of the situation than that, to your dismay.

He had showed up at your house. You could feel the flowers building up your throat. You held them down as much as you could as he talked to you, but it was hard.

You could barely register what he was saying as you started to cough so hard that you fell to your knees. He reached out and caught you, but that just made it worse. You couldn’t hold them back anymore, and the flowers started to fly out, all over the floor and all over him.

He stared at them with curious concern. He held you in a gentle way he didn’t think possible, taking one of the flowers between his fingers. 

Hanahaki.

Of course, he’s heard about it. Who hasn’t? The death rate for Hanahaki’s way too high.

The two of you moved to the bathroom where you finished your fit.

His voice was uncharacteristically quiet when he spoke, breaking the silence, “Who is it?” You almost didn’t hear him.

“It.. it doesn’t matter, Schlatt.” Your voice was hoarse, it hurt to talk. You could feel the flowers fighting to come back up as he got closer to you, sitting down on the floor next  to you. You coughed hard before continuing, “I-I’ll be okay.”

“Well I really fuckin’ doubt that, sweetheart. You just threw up my dead Grandma’s bouquet.” Usually, that would make you laugh, at least a little, but you could feel the flowers pushing at your throat and squeezing your lungs from just how close he was to you.

“Just tell me, (Y/N). Maybe I can help.”

You smiled at him, though it was sad. Those words only made it worse. He didn’t realize that the kindness he was showing you was only feeding the flowers.

“You aren’t going to be… mad? Or laugh?” It felt silly, but you needed the reassurance right now.

“We’re not fucking 12, (Y/N).”

“Right.”

You cleared your throat, hoping to suck down any stray flowers so you could speak. Your brain found it hard to find the right words, so you just went with the shortest, simplest thing you could think of. Something he’d understand immediately and you wouldn't have to repeat yourself. 

“I love you.”

He paused, then looked at you, eyes wide and mouth open a bit.

“You what?”

Okay, not the best reaction, but he didn’t seem mad, at least.

“Schlatt don’t make me repeat myself, my throat hurts as it is.” A tease, a joke. Lighthearted enough to distract yourself from the fact that if he doesn’t reciprocate, you’re dead.

“No, no. I get it. I’m sexy as fuck- I’m the president, for God’s sake. And any one knows that everyone and their mom wanted to fuck Obama-”

He rambled on for a bit like that, inflating his ego a little in the process. You stared at him blankly, waiting for him to finish to give you a proper answer.

“You’re my secretary, though! Isn’t that kind of weird? Actually it’s kind of hot-”

You rolled your eyes.

“But if people found out? My name would be smeared. Then again, you’re really pretty. Have I told you that? Oh fuck, maybe now isn’t the right time-”

“Schlatt?”

He turned to you, having looked away during his rant, “Yeah?”

“Are you going to kiss me? Or just ramble like an idiot?”

“I’m not an idiot. Maybe a fool, but I’m not an idiot.”

“So are you going to kiss-” And before you could finish, he leaned forward, cutting you off with a kiss.

And it was a damn good kiss at that, for this kiss was enough to seal that he did, in fact, give a shit about you. You felt a weight lift off your lungs, your throat cleared up, and for the first time in months, you felt happy.

His hands on your hips, your arms around his neck, the way he had to bend down to reach your lips and you had to push yourself up to reach his... It was uncomfortable, actually. You’re on the bathroom floor for Christ’s sake, but you wouldn’t trade this kiss for the world.

You were finally free of that wretched disease, and now you could kiss him whenever you wanted.

Masterlist

[smells-like-mettaton]

18, burgerpants and nice cream guy, sometime before the end of a no mercy route

Rating: G Word Count: 1019 Prompt: Could you teach me how to break down with elegance? Read on AO3: here

After that little weirdo went on their way, Brad’s shift was actually pretty peaceful. No delivery today, which was weird, but hey, he wasn’t complaining. No shipment of steaks meant that he didn’t have to track down his horrible boss and watch him slap his metal face against them.

In fact, that kid had taken out his whole inventory. There wasn’t anything left to cook. Still, Brad wasn’t about to ditch work. He needed the day’s pay for rent, and if Mettaton dropped by and he wasn’t here…

Weird that Mettaton hadn’t dropped by yet, actually. He was probably trying to lure Brad into a false sense of security. Still, he contemplated lighting a cigarette.

Then the resort doors slammed open.

“BURGERPANTS!” A frantic voice shouted—that blue rabbit monster who was always asking for feedback on his “jokes.” What was his name again? Jerry?

“I mean—BRAD! Sorry, Bratty and Catty were talking before I—” He cut off, shaking his head. “Nevermind that! You’re—what are you still doing here??”

No, not Jerry. Gary. Brad remembered now.

“Uh, is this a trick question?” Brad shoved his lighter back into his pocket. He also remembered that Gary hated the smell of smoke. “Bratty and Catty didn’t send you, did they?”

“No, I was just asking them where you were and they hadn’t seen you and—and you’re still alive! Thank goodness.” He grinned, but his eyes stayed wide and manic.

It was too bad the guy hated smoke. He looked like he could use a cigarette.

“You’re still alive too. Guess that little weirdo was just yanking my chain.”

Brad unwrapped a Starfait straw and started chewing on it. It was no cig, but it was better than nothing.

Well, it would have been, if Gary hadn’t lunged over the counter to grip Brad’s shoulders.

“Little—wait, you mean you saw the human? You talked to them!?”

Brad choked out the straw before it could permanently lodge itself in his throat. It landed in a gross splatter on the counter.

Par for the course. Par for the course.

“Yeah.” Brad wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “They bought the last of my inventory. Hope you weren’t here to buy anything.”

“No, Brad, I was—” Gary sighed and let go of Brad, slumping back against the counter. “I was worried about you. I thought for sure…”

Dang. He… actually cared? Sure, Gary was nicer than most monsters Brad ran into, but that was a pretty low bar. Brad sure hadn’t expected the guy to run into what he thought was a war zone for him.

“Hey, it’s like I told the weirdo.” Brad tried to give a reassuring grin. “I can’t go to hell. I’m all out of vacation days.”

Gary stared, and for a second, Brad thought he was about to burst into tears. But instead he burst out laughing.

(Well. Maybe there were still a few tears. Brad was polite enough not to point them out, though.)

“You—geez, Brad, how do you do it?” Gary wiped his face, blinking up at him.

“Do what?”

“Just—not care, I guess. In a good way, though!” He shook his head. “Oh, this is coming out all wrong…”

“Hey, I’m not offended or anything.” Brad shrugged. He tried to discreetly sweep the wet straw off of the counter. He winced when it clattered loudly on the floor. “Not every day that I do something in a good way!”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic!” Gary reassured him. Brad couldn’t imagine him being sarcastic if he tried. “Everyone’s terrified. I’m terrified. And you’re just… taking it. It’s not even fazing you.”

Frankly, Brad hadn’t believed that anything was actually wrong until Gary showed up. If not for Gary’s obvious panic, Brad probably would’ve still believed this was all some kind of prank.

“I mean it. Please.” Gary forced a grin. “If you could tell me how to stop freaking out, or, at least freak out… elegantly? That would be super.”

“Elegantly?” Brad snorted. “Look. I’m not… I just work here. If the world really is ending, or whatever…”

He dodged Gary’s pleading eyes.

“I don’t have anything to lose,” he mumbled.

Gary blinked. Slowly, his hand reached out to cover Brad’s.

“W-well.” Gary’s smile wavered. “You wanna hear my new idea for a Nice Cream joke?”

“Now?” Brad looked at him like he was crazy. Which he was, obviously. “I thought you were worried we’re gonna die.”

“I am, but—it’s important. I promise.”

Brad sighed. He did sound serious, but then again, Gary was always serious about Nice Cream.

“Alright, buddy. Shoot.”

Gary stared into his eyes so intently, it was hard not to flinch.

“Your life matters.” Gary squeezed his hand, like he was afraid Brad would try to run. “You have something to lose. People who would miss you if you were gone. You’re loved, Brad.”

Brad’s chest tightened. It was too early for his smoking to be killing him, right?

“I—uh.” He coughed. “I think that’s kinda long for a joke. And it might be weird to use the name ‘Brad.’”

Gary gave him a deadpan expression, as if he was stupid.

“I love you, Brad. That’s not a joke.”

(Alright. Maybe Brad was stupid.)

“Uh—oh.” He swallowed.

That was—this was—weird. Weirder than the dusty kid. Weirder than the idea that everyone was dead.

After all, who would love a washed-up screwup like him?

“And even if you don’t love me back—I’m not going to let you stand here and get killed!”

With a sharp yank, Gary pulled Brad over the counter. He scooped Brad into his arms like he weighed nothing.

“H-hey! You didn’t give me time to say anything!” Brad blushed. He would’ve been embarrassed, but Gary was blushing too.

“We’ll have plenty of time to talk after we get you to safety,” he said.

Brad couldn’t argue with that.

And hey, even if Gary was yanking his chain about the whole “in love with him” thing, at least getting kidnapped was a pretty good excuse to leave work.

[blackbat05]

You don’t like me when I’m angry (Part 1)

Shangqi x Reader 

A/N: Back again but I’ve decided to switch my theme a little! Reader has pyrokinetic abilities (like the human torch). Katy is still quirky and a talented archer. Shangqi... well he’s the man! Again, do like and comment if you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! 

Genre: PG 13 

Warnings: Maybe just watch out for a bit of detailed descriptions of injuries and the fighting. 

The pub was bustling. Men were noisily gathered at the bar, eyes glued to the latest soccer match. As the match went on, the reactions became more intense. Perfect cover for a hooded figure to slip into the pub unnoticed. She quietly orders a bottle of soju, pouring it into the drinking glass that came along with it.

‘Careful there, you don’t want to loose the target,’ a voice crackles through the coms in her left ear. ‘Relax Shangqi, unlike what you think, I have a high tolerance for alcohol.’ Smirking into thin air, the girl takes another sip. Another muffled voice causes Shangqi to pry away from the surveillance footage. ‘Oh yeah, Katy’s got the picture, just sent it.’

Everything about the target screamed danger. As if his rugged look didn’t scare one away, the man had a cut that was hovering dangerously near his eye. Goran Lee, aka Gor - the biggest mob boss who holds an iron fist over the underworld of Busan. How did (y/n) ended up here? That was a very good question.

‘What’s up Wong?’ I stepped into the sanctum after Shangqi and Katy who were having trouble concealing their yawns. The man in question turns his focus away from the round table, a solemn look on his face. ‘I think it’s best if you three take a look for yourselves.’ 

Throwing each other puzzled looks, we decided that it was best to just follow Wong. Crowding around the table, it glows bright orange, showing several images and videos at the same time. But all had one thing in common. A man - no he couldn’t even be called a human... more like a human animal hybrid was seen terrorizing the streets. 

‘What the hell is that thing?’ Katy was clearly grossed out. 

‘A vampire werewolf,’ Wong replied simply, not surprised at our confused expressions. ‘A what?’ Shangqi steps forward to observe the hologram that was a bit too real for his comfort. The animal whips its large head, red eyes tearing into us. I flinch as it lunges in our direction, knocking into Shangqi. The screen turns black. 

‘That’s exactly what it is,’ Wong sighs. ‘It’s a real mess out there. A few weeks ago, Oscorp industries reported fifty boxes worth of vials missing from their storage in New York,’ He pauses to see if we’re following. ‘The substance - substance KXV is strong enough to trigger the person’s metagene and apparently, it’s fallen into the wrong hands. They’ve managed to trace it down to Busan but they’re tied down.’

‘Lemme guess... something to do with preventing an international incident on the front page of the Sunday Times?’ Katy drawled. ‘Why us then? Aren’t any of the avengers available?’ We looked at Wong expectantly. 

‘They’re either off world, working with the UN or on the run from the government themselves,’ Wong pauses, thinking if he should continue. ‘And that Peter boy is in school.’  Shangqi raises his hands in defeat. He thought that after coming back from Ta Lo, he had escaped from the craziness. Well, at least he had you and Katy. 

‘I don’t see him, this place is god damn dark. How do people drink here? And why am I here? Shouldn’t Shangqi be here instead?’ 

‘Because our faces have been plastered all over the internet? We don’t want to scare him off - and I know you’re not used to it but would you stop talking before he catches up on to us?’ Katy shakes her head at Shangqi inside the van as she talks to you. You never failed to impress them with your short fuse.

You sit quietly, nursing your last cup of soju, grumbling inwardly to yourself. For a guy who runs the underworld, he sure is tardy. A greasy hand rests on the surface of your shoulders, stopping your current train of thoughts. You hear a loud and abrupt movement from your com. ‘Hi, can I help you?’ Turning to the clueless jerk who decided it was ok to touch an unsuspecting woman, you inwardly trusted Katy to prevent Shangqi from running in balls first into a situation that could easily be defused. You were no pushover. 

The guy reeked of alcohol. His foreign looks and a varsity jacket told me that he was probably an exchange student. ‘Hey pretty... why not have a drink with me and my guys over there...’ His finger jabs to the other end of the pub where his friends were watching him with excitement. ‘Don’t be shy... we’ll give you a good time!’ He guffaws before stumbling slightly. 

My nostrils flared - as if making myself claustrophobic with a room full of rowdy and leering men weren’t enough, I’m having to deal with a boy who can’t seem to control whatever’s going on in his pants. This would have to be quick. Taking a few large strides over, I gripped his wrist tightly, lifting 185 pounds of dead weight. Staring into his unfocused eyes, my hands turned orange. Poor guy was flapping like a fish, wincing for me to stop. Thankfully with the loud music, no one could hear him. 

‘I’m not exactly in a good mood today, so I suggest you scram before I fry your arm into barbeque here.’ I got my message across as he fled back to his group who were coincidentally trying not to make eye contact with me. 

‘Harsh (y/n), harsh.’ Katy sniggered in my ear. I would have made a smartass response to her but my attention was focused on the man who had just sauntered into the room. Gor. And he didn’t come alone. ‘Look sharp guys, they’re here.’

I was determined not to loose them as they walked towards where the group of university students were, disappearing behind the back entrance shortly after. I darted among the group of servers who were to preoccupied attending tables, reaching the back. Dimly lit with red lights, every inch of the hallway was covered in questionable and even vulgar portraits that made my blood boil.

‘Don’t engage alone, me and Katy are on our way.’ Shangqi signals to Katy, tossing her bag of arrows. ‘No promises there Shangqi, I have no idea what the hell their going to do. Get here fast.’ I inch closer towards the sound.

Gor is the biggest out of them, towering over his tallest henchman by half a head. He takes the red vial, drinking it in one gulp. I knew I saw the pictures at the sanctum but I wanted to bleach my eyes out there and then as I saw him transform into that monstrosity. For a moment I thought I was caught as the furry beast glances at the transparent door.

‘The ambassador?’ Gor’s voice came out in an oily snarl. The henchman nearest to him bows, ‘On his way sir, he has the cash.’

‘Good, we kill them all the moment he arrives.’

‘Including the child- sir?’ The reply came back in a stutter.

‘I have no use for useless midgets,’ Gor bares his fangs. ‘Shoot them if you must.’

So it was true, Gor was really as sadistic as they claim. Just then, A warm hand clamps over my mouth before I can react. Shangqi.

‘Thank god. Take a look for yourselves. Gor’s after the ambassador. The ambassador knows that they’re the ones behind the raid at Oscorp. So Gor gets his men to kidnap the ambassador’s family, threatens him for some hush money in return of some promise that he must have made.’

‘But Gor’s not going to follow with his promise,’ Katy narrows her eyes. ‘Do you know where they might be holding the family?’ I shook my head. She loads her first arrow into the bow. ‘Can’t wait to try these new babies out. Heard their made of dragon skin.’ She turns to Shangqi, nodding in silent agreement.

‘Just what did you guys plan without me?’

PART 2 COMING SOON...

[masterthespianduchovny]

I’m going to be honest before I get to the Sam/Rebecca subplot: if they drop plots threads indicating that this continue into the next season and uplift this pairing, I’m out.

This storyline is gross and I can see why some people quit the show when the revealed happened.

When I say I’m repulsed by age gap relationships of this nature, this isn’t a shipping thing or a race thing. This is a moral and ethical thing. Because it’s not just an age gap, it’s also that Rebecca is Sam’s boss. I legitimately don’t see how people can overlook this and ship how “cute” this is. I’m not judging anyone, it just genuinely doesn’t make sense to me.

And for people who think I’m a hypocrite, Ted/Rebecca is not the same. Sam and Rebecca is like a principal dating a student. If you want to age Sam up, because people love to accuse others of infantilizing Sam, it’s like the president of a college dating a student. In both cases, there would be backlash, and have been, to these types of relationships.

Which would make Ted’s position that of a teacher/professor or someone higher. In most cases, there aren’t objections, however, both parties have to be transparent about their relationship and careful about how and if that influences their professional relationship with each other and others.

Last week, I mentioned a friend of mine who was 18 and dated someone who was 28. Both are white for reference. When I found out their ages and respective positions, I became concerned and doubly concerned.

Oh, they had chemistry and he made her so happy, but he was also controlling as fuck and emotionally abusive. During the duration of their relationship, he became her boss and would monitor her interactions via cameras in the back office. She was stressed out as fuck and would go to the bathroom to cry. You know, where cameras weren’t and where he couldn’t enter.

And it was a secret relationship because he could get in trouble. I didn’t say anything because she was with her boyfriend before she knew me. Me telling someone could’ve gotten him in trouble or fired, but that wouldn’t have ended the relationship. It would’ve made her end our friendship and cling closer to him. Instead, after I quit for other reasons, I sporadically checked on her to see how she was doing and give her advice and resources.

As far as the actual episode itself goes, I struggled to enjoy it due to the Sam/Rebecca situation. It should’ve ended at dinner at most.

The only emotional beat that landed, imo, was Jamie and Roy’s hug. I do think Ted’s confession was strong, but the flow was kinda weird for me. By itself it works.

Two things working for me that wasn’t at the forefront of the episode was 1. How Ted’s problem is fucking over the team. 2. That Nate is in over his head.

Even if AFC Richmond had lost with Ted being in his A game, it wouldn’t have been that made and the team would’ve been more competitive. They were sloppy and making baffling errors. Their head was not in the game and it showed. Man City wasn’t that good, Richmond was just that ill prepared.

And who led training?

Nate.

Nate has great instincts, but he isn’t ready to lead a team and he still has a lot of work to do before growing into coaching a team as head coach.

But let me stress, this falls completely on Ted and even Beard to an extent. Yes, Ted is having emotional issues, however, many people rely on him and he wasn’t there. I don’t mean literally because teams should be able to function without their head coach for stretches of time. He hasn’t been there mentally and emotionally for most of the season. Because AFC Richmond’s competition isn’t as premier as Man City, it’s easier to appear more dominant that you are, esp if you’re coach isn’t on his A game. However, when you’re up against actual Goliath’s in the league, you’ll get your ass handed to you like Richmond did.

As I mentioned earlier, if they do go through with supporting and uplifting Sam/Rebecca, my time with this fandom ends with the season 2 finale.

But if we take Ted’s dark forest into consideration, there is another way this could play out. Actually many.

The one I can see happening that can get her somewhat redeemed, because some will never get over this happening in the first place, is her hitting rock bottom via her relationship with Sam. Something will happen or make her have unflattering thoughts about herself and her actions that will drive her into a tailspin.

And I’m unsure if it’ll be just a personal crisis or if it’ll also be a professional crisis.

Some may disagree with me, but I do want this affair to come to light. Because if it doesn’t, it sets up this fucked up precedent that Rebecca can do fucked up shit and get away with it in private.

Rebecca fucked over her club, uprooted a man’s life in bad faith, and almost ruined several people’s careers due to her bullshit in the first season. The fact that she didn’t have to answer for any of this is a God damn mercy on Ted’s part even though she didn’t ask for it.

Now for her to date/fuck a player because “she just has to know.” Because she doesn’t want to let something pass her by?

Yeah…no.

Rebecca’s fear of loneliness is leading her to make very bad decisions and I fear what this means for Sam’s career and relationships if this breaks. There were people who allegedly care for Sam, yet cheered for this relationship to happen. What do you think happens with his locker room relationships? I’ve already explained in another post that either this sours those relationships OR they want favors from him because he’s dating/fucking the boss.

He’ll get crucified in the media. He may even have trouble getting employed. Why? Because that’s how racism works.

“But, masterthespianduchovny, if Sam may receive hate and racist acts committed against him, why do you want the affair exposed?”

Because this shit show of a relationship isn’t about just Sam. It’s about Rebecca’s fear of loneliness leading her to make bad decisions that effects everyone not just her and Sam. It’s the fact that a white woman isn’t thinking about how her actions could have major consequences for a young black man.

Rebecca is so obsessed with not being lonely and being loved that 1. She never sought help or productive ways to deal with the fall out and humiliation of her marriage. 2. She dated a man because he was “fine” and not because she was actually invested in him and the relationship 3. She’s getting involved with a player on her team without thinking of any of the consequences. 4. She’s not considering the other players, the coaches, or anyone else she’s responsible for.

Oh, and considering we got that call from Sam’s dad…his relationship with his father will most likely suffer as a result. AND now that Dubai Air thing looks suspect, esp because she was talking to him around that time unknowingly.

Oop! And isn’t she getting her relationship with Nora back on track? Even though Nora and Sam can’t legally date and I’m not saying every decision should be swayed by a teenage girl, however, Rebecca is literally sabotaging every relationship just because she’s afraid of being alone (I agree with another poster who said we really didn’t need to explore this storyline, but alas…)

Although Ted forgave Rebecca for her scheming in season one, I honestly don’t think he’d be so forgiving for this. It’s his job to protect players and look out for their well being and how can he one his boss is involved with one of his players, which again, affects others players. This relationship has major consequences for other people who are not in it.

Also, Sam…for someone who people love to say is mature enough to date an older woman, not once did even be consider the ramifications of getting involved with the boss.

Not once.

And that looks bad because a mature person his age would be mindful of such a thing. This isn’t considered or, at least, isn’t said onscreen. Sam os either thinking with his dick, his heart, or both, but he isn’t thinking with his head. Because there is no way you’re thinking with your head and don’t stop to say, “hey, this thing could jeopardize my relationship with my teammates and the other people I work with. Maybe I should think some more of this before pursuing a relationship with my boss.” Sam was all in from the moment he decided he wanted to have dinner with Rebecca. There was no thinking on his end.

But Sam’s super mature, right?

Another poster mentioned that there might be a screaming match between Rebecca and ted and I’m so here for that. No, I don’t think this argument will be romantic. They’ll have legitimate gripes with each other, but yeah…this is an argument that needs to happen. Which will most likely be before Rebecca gets help.

That’s all assuming this happens. Like I said, they could have Sam and Rebecca being a power couple (🤮), or handle this some other way. But if this is going to be framed as a good thing, others can enjoy it, but the show will have one less viewer from me.

[bakugou-tm]

Master Knows Best (18+)

Bakugou x Maid Cafe Reader

plot: You’ve gone almost a full year working at a maid cafe with none of your friends finding out, which is exactly how you liked it; but thanks to a certain friend your beloved hot headed boyfriend found out your secret and planned on teasing you the whole time. In a stubborn attempt to get back at him, you realized exactly what would happen if you disobeyed your master

warnings: suggestive NSFW, swearing, a shit ton of teasing

wc: 5200+

mood song: worst behavior

a/n: I was supposed to post this on valentine’s day but it’s better late than never right? I perhaps may make a part two depending on how this does but I’m also a s s at NSFW so we’ll see. For now just enjoy (especially my fellow brats out there)

You liked things to be simple. You were a simple girl, with a simple life.

Sure you had your secrets, but thanks to your overall simplicity, nobody even bothered to uncover them.

That’s just the way you liked it too. Each different part of your life was separated as they should, for if they intertwined your life would becoming a living nightmare.

You never dreamed that living nightmare would become a reality. Who knew all it would take to crumble the reputation you built up for so long...

was a simple text.

Sweat trickled down the ash blond’s toned arms, his ragged breath becoming more steady as he slumped down against the wall while his friend took a few rounds at the punching bag.

The sound of his phone buzzing beside him didn’t drag him out of his exhausted mindset quite yet, but when his crimson eyes glanced across the words on the screen he felt everything come to a halt.

electric dunce: remember that day time job (l/n) said she had during the weekends? i think i found it bro..

electric dunce: 1 attachment

Bakugou’s red haired training buddy noticed the change in spirit with his blond friend, noticing how his heavy breathing suddenly stopped.

Wiping his gloved hand across his forehead, Kirishima glanced down to his friend only to see Bakugou’s eyebrows knit in a deep focus.

“You uh... You okay bro?” Kirishima questioned with a raised brow, trying to control his own ragged breaths after he attacked the swaying back before him.

Before he could question his friend once more, Bakugou let out a breathy chuckle, one filled with mischief and even excitement if Kirishima listened well enough.

“Training is cut short today shitty hair.”

-

“Come onnnn (L/n), how could you tell us you have a job then not tell us what it is?” The pink haired girl whined as she slid her upper half onto your lap and sighed dramatically.

Giggling slightly your eyes flicked to Kaminari across from you as his lips doubled over into a pout, “The whole point of having a job is so your friends can come crash it!”

“And to make some money dumbo.” You sneered, flicking his forehead gently while glancing down to Mina’s attempt at puppy dog eyes, “Besides, I didn’t want to tell you guys. You forced me to tell you where I went after school or you said you would doxx me.”

Your friends let out a sigh of defeat as Kirishima glanced to your boyfriend beside you, “C’mon Baku-bro not even you know where she works?”

Smirking slightly you placed a gentle palm on your boyfriends cheek and winked to him tauntingly,

“Not even Katsuki~”

Bakugou simply clicked his tongue and smacked your hand away, “I don’t know because I don’t fucking care.”

Oh but he did care. It ate away at him everyday that you refused to reveal where you worked. You claimed it would be “embarrassing” for him to see you working and wearing a uniform but he failed to understand why it would be. He brutally antagonized you all the time and you never bat an eye, why would he care if he saw you wearing a ‘Mini-Mart’ uniform?

You simply hummed at your boyfriend’s denial and leaned against his side.

“Say whatever you need to make you feel better love,” You purred, grinning at his scowl before you looked to your group of friends,

“Because you will never find out where I work, ever.”

-

Bakugou felt like he was in a state of euphoria as he stood before the quaint wooden doors, decorated with all sorts of pastel ribbons and paint.

It was almost as if he was entering the doors of heaven, the ultimate satisfaction of knowing he was about to beat you and your stupid threat.

And better yet, of all the places to find out you worked, it was here?

Oh he was going to enjoy this, even beyond getting revenge.

“Never find out my ass.” Bakugou sneered with a smirk, letting the soft breeze flow through his spiky locks as he tugged open the door into the unknown.

Meanwhile you were attempting to gracefully, yet quickly, get your uniform back on since your break ended in about thirty seconds. You hated how good you had gotten at putting on this stupid uniform, soon enough it would be second nature to you.

Working at a Maid Cafe wasn’t exactly where you planned to end up. When you stumbled onto the small podium in kindergarten to announce your future career, you surely didn’t say “I want to be a server at a Maid Cafe!”

And yet here you were pulling up the thigh high socks to your frilly, bow covered maid dress.

Admittedly when you were searching for jobs, you were surprised to find no luck. Any job that paid well required university years, and any left over job wouldn’t pay enough for your time to walk there.

It wasn’t until your aunt came to you in your troubles and recommended the job of your nightmares.

“My sweetheart why don’t you just work at my niece’s Maid Cafe? You’ll get to work with very sweet young girls about your age, and they pay very well since they have a very diverse clientele!”

Immediately you threw away the idea before you could even process it, the thought of having to serve gross old men and pretend to be excited while doing it didn’t sound appealing, let alone possible.

With that said, that didn’t mean your aunt was going to give up just yet. Without telling you she scheduled an interview for you, telling you if you didn’t show up it would make your family look bad.

Feeling the inevitable guilt throughout the day, you submitted into your aunt’s wishes and at least showed up to the interview.

Who knew? Maybe they would just let you be a janitor or something.

Sure enough they wanted you as a maid, but before you could even deny they offered double what any job had offered you, even the high paying ones.

“We know the job isn’t ideal, which is why we pay so much. A young girl like you would be just perfect here!”

Push came to shove, and somehow you ended up working at the cafe for a year and a half now.

You couldn’t lie, dressing up all cute and getting to hang out with a bunch of sweet girls was pretty fun. It beats mopping an empty grocery store with creepy co-workers.

With that said, the dread of having to deal with pervy customers and the existential fear of one of your friends walking through the door almost outweighed the pros of the job.

Luckily you had been able to escape doom for this long, so what are the odds that would change anytime soon?

-

The sound of the bell charming brought you back to your senses, quickly tying the silk bow behind your back you stumbled out into the break room to see your boss awaiting.

“Phew I thought you almost ditched us (L/n).” Your boss said with a wink.

Rolling your eyes you began walking backwards towards the swinging doors that led to the dining room.

“Have I ever failed you Miss Manager?” You purred with a grin.

Satisfied with her laugh you danced through the double doors, putting on your cute act once again. Only two hours left and you could go home and pig out on what was left in your pantry.

If that’s truly all it took, you didn’t mind turning on your “anime girl” side for a few hours.

Smiling at all the guests you made sure to check on everyone’s table before making your way towards the greeting podium. The doorbell went off so that meant some sort of customer was waiting to be sat.

Giving one last wink to a customer you whipped your head towards the front doors and gave a small bow before looking up.

“Welcome back to Maid Cafe master, would you like me to show you to your se..AHHHH!”

The moment your eyes met the sturdy figure before you, all senses jumped out the window as you screeched and jumped backwards defensively.

How.. How could this happen? This couldn’t be happening. All your intricate planning and anxious working to make sure no one you knew would ever catch you on the job.

And out of all the people in the world... it had to be Katsuki Bakugou.

Your ever so taunting boyfriend.

Sure enough Bakugou had a shit eating grin on his face, his eyes glowing with excitement for probably more reasons than you could count.

“Well well well, don’t you look familiar.”

At this point words weren’t even an option in your mind, you couldn’t tell if the cold spike of fear shooting up your spine was worse or the overwhelming heat that flared along your face.

Your little outburst didn’t go unnoticed by the guests and maids, all eyes moved to the two of you as you stumbled over your own words.

“Y..You- I.. but I.. and you! I can’t...”

“(L/n) is something the matter?”

The sound of your boss’ sweet voice from behind you caused you to shriek again as you now jumped to face her.

Feeling your face grow even warmer you avoided eye-contact with her, trying to use what was left of your slowly deflating brain to come up with an excuse to fix this entire mess.

“Yeah princess, is something the matter?”

Between the chilling tone and the pet name you physically shuddered, your head slowly peaking back to the problem at hand.

Bakugou couldn’t help but notice your reaction, sneering cockily as he looked down on you with pride.

“Zip it Bakugou-” 

“Ah ah..” Bakugou started before you could even finish your threat, “I believe you are supposed to refer to me as master.”

If your brain wasn’t broken before, it sure was now. Your internal mix of equally enjoying this and hating this had officially clashed and broken any sense at this point. All you could feel beyond anger at this point was complete and utter embarrassment.

“(L/n) you’re not having any trouble greeting our guest, are you?” Your boss questioned sternly.

You’ve honestly never heard her get so serious with you, given this was far from her angry side, but you hated disappointing your superiors.

Glancing around you still noticed some eyes on you along with your suspicious boss’. At this point there was no escaping the situation, and like hell were you going to give this bastard the satisfaction of your embarrassment.

“N..No ma’am, no trouble at all!” You said back in your sweet work voice, offering the best smile you could muster before twitching back to your smug boyfriend.

“Let me uh... let me show you to your table...” You stuttered out, grabbing a single menu before looking up at your expectant boyfriend’s expression. You knew exactly what the little shit was waiting for, and if you didn’t say it your boss would surely drag you to the back.

“Master.”

Bakugou sighed in dramatic satisfaction, clasping his hands together sarcastically and bending down to your level, “Fucking splendid.”

Gritting your teeth you glared into his crimson orbs before spinning on your heel, plastering the cute smile on your face so your boss could get off your back.

Once she seemed to notice you returned to your old state, she let out a gentle sigh and walked away to serve her tables.

At the very least you felt a bit less tense knowing she wasn’t following you like a hawk, but she was far from the problem at hand.

Quickly b-lining towards a table in the corner, you slammed the menu down and pulled out the chair, offering the most sarcastically pleasant smile you could.

Bakugou gladly took his seat, making sure to drag his hand along the small of your back on the way down. He throughly enjoyed each time you shivered from his touch, or even words.

First you decided to take his order, making sure all eyes were officially off the two of you. Once you decided the coast was clear, you quickly grabbed the collar of his tank top, as you bent down to be eye level with him.

“How did you find out about my job Katsuki.”

Bakugou grunted in surprise, catching himself quickly before he smirked back to your fuming expression. Oh how adorable you were when you were mad.

Your thick eyebrows would knit together in a deep focus and your plush lips would pinch into a perfect pout that drove him crazy.

As the blond smugly glanced over your features, his eyes flicked up only to notice other eyes were facing the two of you once again, only this time they only seemed to be on you. On your backside.

The way you were bending down seemed to perfectly expose your backside to the world, and your dumbass was too oblivious with him to even realize it.

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou placed a firm palm on the edge of your spine before shoving you down to your knees so the back of your dress would cover your backside once again.

The action caused a small yelp to escape your lips, you assumed he had done it to embarrass you which made you that much more mad.

“Answer. My. Question.”

Once the ash blond was satisfied with your state and he glared at any that dared to still look at you, he glanced back down to your fiery orbs with an unimpressed look.

Rolling his eyes he slapped your hand away causing you to huff before he shoved the photo Kaminari sent to him.

Glancing over the photo you eyes widened to see a photo of you through the window of the Maid Cafe assisting a customer.

Your cheeks began to glow red again as you worriedly looked up to Bakugou, “You guys actually doxxed me?!”

Bakugou raised a brow and snatched his phone back with a sigh.

“I didn’t, I can’t speak for that stupid dunce but I’ll deal with his reasoning later,” He explained before his dreadful smirk returned as he cupped the edge of your chin, “Back to the elephant in the room, how come you hid such a delicious fucking secret from your master.” 

As much as you would’ve loved this behind closed doors, to be openly embarrassed in public made your head feel like it was going to explode.

“S..Stop acting all smug you idiot!” You snapped, smacking his hand from your chin and standing up straight, “I hid this from you so you wouldn’t act like an egotistical dick.”

At this Bakugou barked out a laugh, the booming sound causing you to jump a bit as he slouched back in his chair, folding his arms with that smug grin.

“I think we’ve already come to the conclusion that my fucking ego is backed up, or have you forgotten doll?”

His piercing red eyes narrowed to your own, the sight making you blush as you jerked your head to the side and huffed.

“Can you order already idiot? I’ve got plenty of other orders to take.”

Bakugou simply smirked and picked up the menu, glancing down the options before shoving it in your arms.

“I’ll get two of the shitty rice bears,” He explained, grinning when he saw you look up with a raised brow, “I’ve got a hungry maid coming home soon waiting to please her master.”

Your confused expression turned into a flushed angry one as you snatched the menu from him and turned on your heel. You didn’t even remember what he asked for but at this point you didn’t care. You just wanted to hide from the customers so you could collect what dignity you had left.

The moment you brushed by the double doors you let out a sigh of relief as you rested your head against the back wall. Maybe if you closed your eyes and pinched yourself hard enough you would wake up from this horrible nightmare?

You could only imagine the things Bakugou was thinking. Does he think you’re some ditzy pushover maid girl now? Is he texting your friends telling them that you work here? Honestly Kaminari has probably already done that.

It was so nice having the upper hand on him for once, but now that he took every last bit of dignity and laughed in your face, you were doomed.

“Rough shift huh?”

Raising your brows you peaked an eye open to see one of your coworkers with a concerned expression. Standing up straight you fixed a piece of your hair and nodded.

“Yeah I guess you could say that..”

“How come you were acting so weird with that customer (L/n)-chan?” Your manager called from behind, carrying a bunch of plates as she walked beside your coworker, “Is it because he’s crazy hot?”

Folding your arms you let out a huff as you pouted your lips out,

“Try boyfriend.”

Both girls gasped in shock, your boss nearly dropping the plates in her hand as they looked two you in disbelief.

“Wow sorry for calling him hot, I never knew you had a boyfriend (L/n)! And a hunk at that~”

Letting out a slight chuckle, both your eyes fell on your coworker when she spoke up.

“You know this same thing happened to me with my boyfriend,” She spoke while tapping her finger against her cheek in thought, “I didn’t want him finding out about my job because I knew he would make fun of me, then one day he showed up and sure enough started making fun of me.”

Frowning you let out a sigh as you rubbed the side of your face exasperatedly, “My dumb boyfriend is doing that too! What did you end up doing with yours?”

Your coworker grinned as she shrugged.

“I simply fought fire with fire. Since he was making fun of me, I made him eat his words and watch me serve the other customers. He ended up getting so jealous he left!”

The advice she had given you finally brought warmth back to your numb body, you felt a grin rise to your face as you quickly wrapped your arms around your coworker.

“You are a lifesaver woman! I owe you so much for that advice.”

Your coworker simply laughed and hugged you back, happy to see you back in your normal cheerful state.

“Yeah have some fun but don’t ruin the experience for our other guests!” Your boss called out before walking out the door with the plates.

“I should probably get out there too, let me know if you need any help (L/n)-chan.” Your coworker said with a mischievous grin before dancing out the double doors.

Your mind was rushing with ideas, how could you of not thought of this before? Your explosive boyfriend could get jealous from a rock on the street, this would be the perfect pay back for you!

If he was going to come into your workplace and wreak havoc, you would do the same for his inflated ego.

Fixing up your dress you grabbed the two plates and narrowed your eyes towards the dining room.

“Bring it on Bakugou Katsuki.”

-

Oh did Bakugou feel pleased with himself.

Normally he hated skipping out on a workout, but this was worth it.

He couldn’t let the image of your adorable flushed expression and tense body escape his mind. Let alone that maid costume on you was divine on your plush skin.

The fact that you refused to wear a maid costume in the bedroom made it that much better, no wonder you were trying to hide this job from him.

The way the black silk hugged every curve, just tight enough to where your skin was overflowing from the material. And those thighs squeezing out of those adorable thigh highs drove him wild.

If he hadn’t made the best discovery of his life today, he would almost be mad you were strutting around in such a costume for anyone other than himself.

Deciding to wait another day to deal with that, Bakugou simply enjoyed the scenery and awaited for his girlfriend.

Just like clockwork he saw your form dance out of the backroom a bit too peppy. The thought of you “collecting” yourself in the back only made him sneer with a sadistic grin, he would simply break you all over again when you served him the food.

Just as you sauntered over to his table, the ash blond looked you up and down with a smirk, opening his mouth to say something truly condescending until your body turn away from him and towards another table.

“Here’s your panda shaped muffin and honeydew boba masters!” You spoke to the two customers at the table in front of him, “Is there anything else I can get for you my handsome masters?”

Bakugou felt his heart drop at the sound of you calling another living organism your master. Were you doing this on purpose? Is this usually how you talked to the shitty customers here?

His answer was confirmed when a small squeak escaped your lips and you bent down towards the table, your chest surely giving the two guests a show given their cherry lit cheeks as your thumb grazed across one of the customer’s cheeks.

“Silly master, you have some icing on your cheek.” You said with the most divine giggle he had ever heard. Gritting his teeth his entire world froze when you stuck the finger in your mouth and licked the white cream off clean, “No worries, I got it for you~”

The man before you looked like he was going to bust on the spot, his friend watching with his jaw dropped and eyes filled with jealousy.

Smiling sweetly you gave them one last bow, “Let me know if you need anything else masters!”

Just before you danced away from their table you glanced to Bakugou, giving him a small smirk as you looked him up and down with unimpressed eyes before sauntering away, leaving your explosive boyfriend on the verge of a breakdown.

You truly had a death wish. It was the only explanation for your actions. For almost a full hour you kept that act up, leaving the many guests within the cafe speechless and ogling over you. You knew exactly how jealous Bakugou could get, and you knew he hated admitting it.

Of course Bakugou also knew what a little tease you were. He didn’t miss the delight in your glistening eyes each time you taunted him, waiting for the repercussions of his wrath. But this...

This crossed the line of his sanity.

The ash blond tried to wait til your shift was over, he really did. As furious as he was with you, he wasn’t irresponsible enough to make you lose your job. But the moment your finger tips danced along the shoulder of a guest, any bit of restraint the male had left in his body had snapped like a twig.

The sound of him storming up from his table caused the immediate guests around him to look up, his silverware clanking against the pink trimmed plate as he made a direct line towards you.

Unfortunately for you, the scene your boyfriend caused went over your head as you continued to jot down the order from the customers before you. Focusing on your blossom shaped ordering pad you didn’t notice the horrified expressions on the customers before you as the saw an angry Bakugou storming up behind you.

“I’ll get those orders right up for you masters~” You exclaimed with a cute wink as you began to walk off until a firm hand wrapped around your wrist in a vice grip.

Bakugou could have loosened his bit a grip he realized when you let out a small yelp but he had already committed and like hell was he going to let you flirt with another damn customer right before his very eyes.

Your sweet words, gentle touches, suggestive actions... they weren’t meant for him and him only.

Immiedetly you recognized your boyfriend’s sharp hold and tried to tug your hand away so not to make a scene, but the ash blond simple spun your wrist around and pinned it to your back, giving him full control of wherever you walk.

With a squeak he shoved you forward, causing you to stumble over your own feet as he quickly pushed you towards the backroom.

You briefly met gaze with your boss as he shoved you by, your eyes pleading for help as they were filled with regret. Your boss opened her mouth, not sure what to even do.

“E..Excuse me sir? You can’t touch the-”

Before she could even finish her sentence Bakugou flashed a sharp glare to the woman, his crimson orbs thin from lack of patience and absolute fury.

Your boss was smart enough to know your boyfriend was truly about to go feral, for her life and your own she decided it was best to turn away and pretend she saw nothing.

You let out a small pout when you saw her attempt to serve the shocked guests, leaving you to be shoved into the backroom by a surely pent up Bakugou.

Once you reached the back you saw your coworker, the one that had given you such brilliant advice before, shoving a pastry in her mouth as she was on her break. Her eyes first fell on the dark lidded ones of your boyfriend before falling on your pleading fearful eyes.

Her mouth opened, unsure of what to say before closing.

“I’m uh.. gonna take my break outside.” She muttered softly, politely pushing the chair in and offering the best smile she could before she quickly shuffled out the back doors.

Once the room was clear Bakugou let go of your wrist, giving you a chance to stretch your arm back in it’s proper position before the sound of the back door slamming to a close caused you to shriek in surprise.

Bakugou couldn’t help but smirk as you jumped, as angry as he was he loved seeing you so on edge thanks to him. Returning to a serious expression he watched as you turned around, attempting to put on a serious face of your own.

“Bakugou you know I still have thirty minutes left of my shift-”

Trying to speak was hard enough as is with the thick tension in the room, but when the ash blond slammed his hands on either side of you against the wooden break table you let out a shriek and quickly sat back against the ledge attempting to gain some more space between you two.

The action made him chuckle dryly as he looked you up and down.

“You’re still going to act like a fucking brat huh? After the show you just put on?” Bakugou spoke lowly, his eyes drinking in the sight of your costume only swirling more pent up feelings within him, “Someone’s feeling spunky today?”

You bit at the corner of your lip, swallowing what left of saliva was in your dry mouth as you tried terribly to avoid eye contact.

“Hiding such a naughty job from me, and then when I catch you red handed this is the treatment I get?” Bakugou hisses with clenched fists, “You should’ve been at my fucking heel all day for keeping such a delicious lie from me and yet you taunt me like you’re the one in charge?”

His harsh words made heat rise to your cheeks as you looked down at your frilly dress, trying to find anything to look at besides his face. Surely you knew that wasn’t going to pass with him.

“Look at me when I fucking speak to you brat.” Bakugou growled, his eyes narrowing when he saw your lips pinch together stubbornly.

Letting out an annoyed sigh he grabbed your wrist roughly before shoving you back against the thin wall and grabbing your jaw harshly shoving it against the wall with a hard knock, forcing your eyes to meet.

The sight of your cheeks being squished together by his large palms and your wide glassy eyes forced to look into his own, he couldn’t hide his smug smirk as he felt you lightly tremor beneath him.

“Much better doll.” Bakugou cooed, voice laced with sarcasm as you both knew the next chain of events were about to get quite violent.

“Now, I was planning on patiently waiting for you to get off so we could take this conversation in private...” Bakugou spoke, eyes narrowing down to yours as he let out a sinister laugh, “Hell I even bought you a treat, I’m such a generous fucking boyfriend aren’t I?”

Your breathing was ragged as you stared up into his crimson eyes, your brain was so fogged by the situation that you hadn’t even realized what he asked until his grip on your jaw tightened.

“I asked you a fucking question.”

Blinking back to reality you nodded deserpatly, not daring to look away from his gaze as you let out a slight whimper that shot directly to his pants.

“Good.” Bakugou said with a dark smile before continuing on, “But now I cannot go along with that generous plan because you can’t go two seconds without acting like a fucking slut.”

The filthy words spewing from his lips caused your face to grow warm, the entire situation already had your silk underwear drenched, but his words alone caused you to brush your plump thighs together desperately.

Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by the ash blond as he roughly shoved a knee between your legs causing a whine to escape your lips when he refused to put any friction on your aching core.

“Even now you can’t help but act like a brainless bitch in heat.” Bakugou sneered with a grin, his hand on your jaw lowering to now grip on your neck gently so not to cut off any air.

“Because you’ve disobeyed me multiple times today, I’m going to have to set you straight right here in public so you know who truly has the power here.”

Your mouth opened to rebuttal as your eyes widened at his idea, but his hand only gripped tighter around your throat causing the words shove back down your throat.

“And then,” Bakugou hissed, “If you perform like a good little maid, I may give you what you want when we get home. Maybe.”

You let out a shaky breath as he narrowed his eyes down to you, trying to read what you were feeling right now.

“Now you’re going to be my good little slutty maid and serve me until I’m satisfied, you fucking got that?”

As Bakugou’s grip on your neck loosened, your posture relaxed a bit as you nodded to his question, only for the grip to return as he growled down to you.

“Try again.”

Biting your lip your thighs attempted to squeeze against his knee for any sort of friction at all as any conscious thought was clouded with ashamed lust for the man before you.

“Y..Yes master.”

[metalandmagi]

The Lesser Known Best Girls of 2020

Anime this year has had its ups and downs, but do you know what gets on my nerves? When people ignore all the amazing female characters we’ve gotten and just assume Chizuru Mizuhara from Rent-a-Girlfriend is the best girl of the year (who is also amazing and deserves to be worshiped). Sure, we have Tohru Honda, Nobara Kugisaki, Abby, and Chika and Kaguya. But when will people start noticing the other MVPs of the year?

So this is an appreciation post for all the anime girls nobody has talked about from 2020 (at least, the new ones…sorry continuing series girls like Asirpa and Chihaya and Myne).

1. Kazuya’s grandma from Rent-A-Girlfriend. Because she constantly roasts Kazuya, she’s the reason this hot mess of a show exists, and without her, we would not get to know Chizuru.

2. Makoto’s mom from Ikebukuro West Gate Park. Because she’s the perfect blend of no-nonsense mentor and pure cinnamon roll who does more to solve people’s problems than her son. Why can’t she be the protagonist?

3. Swindler/Ordinary Person from Akudama Drive. Because she has gone through some of the most character development of the year, from a somewhat bland but still sweet cinnamon roll to a crispy bun who has seen some shit and has come out the other side. Or at least I hope she does, the show’s not over yet.

4. Makoto Ohno from Diary of Our Days at the Breakwater. Really all the girls in this show are best girl material, but Makoto is the perfect senpai who is underrated and unjustly ignored…just like this show. Please watch this show, it’s the most wholesome watch of the year without being annoyingly moe.

5. Minare Koda from Wave Listen to Me! Because she’s a hilarious boss ass bitch who represents all the women watching anime as jaded adults, and she practically carries that entire show on her own.

6. Natsume from Deca-Dence. Because she’s basically an adult version of Emma from The Promised Neverland with the addition of a mechanical arm and a cute pet.

7. Catarina Claes from My Next Life as a Villainess. Because she’s so fun to be around, she accidentally turned herself in to the protagonist of the harem game…and she never has to end up with anyone to consider her ending successful.

8. Somali from Somali and the Forest Spirit. Because I would cut off my own arms to ensure her happiness. Apparently, most people don’t realize Somali is a girl and everyone forgot how adorable this show is.

9. Chiyuki Fujito from Smile Down the Runway. Because she’s a great example of a typical determined anime protagonist who isn’t annoying and is easy to root for. And she ended up getting side-lined in her own anime in favor of the male co-protagonist.

10. Arte…from Arte. Because she never gives up and constantly deals with people belittling her artistic abilities, but she’s still a kind person who doesn’t have to act more masculine to respect herself…..just ignore the hair thing at the beginning of the show.

11. Oden/Hina from The Day I Became A God. Because she’s hilarious and effortlessly endearing, and she gets bonus points for her big “love confession” being familial and not romantic…cuz that would make the show very…different

OR NOT I GUESS! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK PA WORKS? AM I THE ONLY ONE WEIRDED OUT BY THIS?!

Oh well, she’s a good girl either way, even if the show’s ending grosses me out.

*editing this in after the fact* 12. DEAR GOD HOW DID I FORGET NOI FROM DOROHEDORO!? SHE LITERALLY GOT ME THROUGH SO MUCH OF THAT SHOW! Everyone’s favorite super buff lovable antagonist. She’s the perfect woman, nothing more to be said.

And finally, the best girl of the year:

Sayaka Kanamori from Keep Your Hands Off Eizoken. Because her design is unique, she’s a shrewd, brilliant business girl, and without her, the show would go nowhere because the other girls would spend all day daydreaming about making an anime and never actually do it.

And some honorable mentions:

Michiru Kagemori from BNA. Because her design is awesome. I just can’t remember much about her…personality wise.

Jing Xialian and Sophia Taylor from Appare Ranman. Because despite being the token women in an otherwise all male cast, they are the most interesting and entertaining characters in the whole show. They just need more screen time. Seriously, I love Appare, but I wish they were the protagonists.  

 Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.