#oh to be alive in the '90s hearing this the first time on the radio.......

[cathymee]

OKAY why is ang huling el bimbo THE song. like it's THE song. of all time.

[itsbubbleteataro]

Radio and the Reporter

Hello everyone! This is the last of my Radio and the Reporter (for now 0-0) I hope you enjoy! NOT PROOF READ

“So my darling doe, why in the world are you in hell?” Alastor asked, propping his elbows on the table, folding his long spindly fingers folding nicely so he could rest his chin on them. He cocked his head to the side, his smile ever wide and menacing. You snapped your fingers. From the same two ink pots, two little creatures spring from the ink. He watched the creatures, taking in how they never stopped bouncing to imaginary music, even as they poured tea for the two of them. 

  You keep your eyes on the deer man in front of you, “I’ll tell me if you tell me how you ended up down here as well. You’re quite the sweetheart, I'm tickled pink to see you again, but I'm worried.” You watched as he nodded his head. You sat back in your chair, sipping tea from your tea cup. “Alright. I was a reporter when we were alive, writing articles behind my fathers back under the name  ‘Roger’” You studied his expression. No hints of cracking or anything. You sighed, lowering your cup down to the table. “But you already knew that part, I'm guessing you went through my room after I passed?”

“Took me quite a while to do so, around three years give or take” Alastor sat back and crossed one leg over the other, his head tilting a full 90 degrees before straightening back up. “I honestly would not have guessed you were doing so much behind both your father’s and well, everyone’s back my dear. You were quite sneaky. How did you pull that off?” He watches you for a moment more, lingering on your face. 

“Oh that? I wore my brother's old shoes and stuffed them with enough weight to make footprints look natural. I wore his old clothes, did not speak unless I had to. But crossdressing isn't why I ended up in hell” You pull out your hand, counting on your fingers, “Let’s see, there's arson, bribery, extortion, forgery, little bit of fraud, stocking, robbery, oh and more theft” Glancing over to Alastor, watching as his eyes seem to light up with each crime listed.

“So did you ever stalk the Bayou Butcher?”

“Oh that killer? I got close” You chuckle, " but he always got away. Never got a good look, only saw his footprints, a few of his victims, but never him. I was so close to figuring out who he was before I died.” You noticed his smirk draw a little wider, enjoying himself and in turn you raised an eyebrow. “I do think I managed to narrow down what profession he was in, he was in media, just like me”

“Correct! Oh my doe is just the smartest!” He grinned as you watched in curiosity. “Would you like to know the true identity of the Bayou Butcher?”

“Oh would I ever! It's one of my biggest regrets!”

“I’ll do so only if you tell me if you were behind the theater burning down that one July”

“Deal!” You started to lean over the table, face getting closer to Alastor. “Yes I was! I had a lot of dirt on the owner of the place, and offered him a deal for me not to publish it. To prove I was serious I burned the place down!”

“Oh my devious Doe! I would love to hear the full story over tea.” Alastor chuckled and sipped his tea before also leaning closer. “Very well, I was the Bayou Butcher” You gasped as he chuckled once more. “You gave me plenty of scares when I saw just how close you were getting, I mean you had my shoe size correct! Quite amazing work, better than the fuzz who we looking for me, even more so after your death”

“Oh yeah? What happened after I died? When I woke up I was here with you ring around my neck”

“Oh you know my Doe, adding to my numbers. For the first two years I was beside myself with grief, I killed any man who spoke bad about you behind my back in an animalistic manner” His shadow showed itself, looking curious as a kitten at your little ink creatures. Alastors eyes looked lost in thought. “Then after third year I came home from hunting one such man, and figured it was time to finally look through your things. I shed my coat, hat and shoes and washed my hands of the blood before going to your room. I saw the work on your typewriter. I read it, saw in the closet, went through old articles, everything just made sense. I’d be the first to admit that it did convince me to keep my killing the same, and go back to just killing abusers. You crossed one leg over the other in curiosity, tilting your head as he went on. 

“Even then I did end up getting sloppy. I lost my touch without my favorite reporter hot on my heels. One swampy evening I was burying the body on some sap’s property. The fella had dogs, they sniffed me out quickly. The owner mistook me for a deer and well, I’m here now. Rest assured such a careless mistake will not happen again.” 

Alastor studied your face as you digested the information before nodding your head slowly. 

“Now my Doe, I do believe you owe me a story about how you managed to shack up in such an old warehouse with a little stalls dotted over Cannibal town and more”

“Oh those? When I arrived I was bored out of my mind and none of the several acts of violence spoke to me, quite frankly seemed uncouth. However I did notice a distinct lack of newspapers all over, so I figured that I have experience in being a newshawk, so may as well put those skills to use. I opened a small paper company with Rosies help. I made deals when I could in exchange for not placing all the little secrets on the front page, just as I did while I was alive, and look at me now! I run a well oiled machine!” You beamed with pride. A long toothy grin met yours. 

“Say my Doe. I can think of something that would aid us both. We did have our run of our respective media forms, so why not join them in a twisted way?”

“I’m listing Al” You waved your hands, your little ink monsters jumped back into the pots of ink to give you both some quiet. The presses slowed to a halt, leaving silence. 

“Well, you are awfully good at finding out information, and I wish to punish those who are not moral as well as start up a new radio show of sorts. If we were to work together you my dear could get your paper more out to the masses and have more information at your fingertips” “Information that you want?” You pause to think. “Sure. I accept. We are not shaking or forming a contract however.”

“My doe I would never ask that of you, it seems to harsh even for me”

Smiling, you slip your ring onto your finger as did he. Reunited in hell the two of you went on to form one of the best media parings. That is, till he disappeared for seven years. 

[chiarrara]

More music!!!!

Since we mentioned Gojos music taste i think he would absolutely love this song. Alternatively, Gojo being stupidly into Geto

Listen before we start I know the lyrics have some undertones of unreciprocated love but it’s also very sweet. Idk I just like to imagine this as stsg right before they confessed to each other. (Side note: Geto would love The Police)(another side note: he’d also love Sting)

1. Gojo would love Kate Bush 2. Gojo would also love Take On Me by A-Ha 3. This is satosugu in a way that makes me wanna cry

90’s itafushi! When I mentioned goth Gumi teaching Yuji how to dance, I meant the sort of strange but very simple and elegant sort of gothic dancing. Like smooth hand movements and shit. This song is perfect for that and perfect for them.

I think this one is a given but especially the “That season when I cried right in front of your eyes, sttay with me, saying our favourite words, holding on to our little moment (Ooh), I'll never forget how warm it felt” what if I died right now huh

I have typed out replies to this post two times now and tumblr has destroyed both of them. I am a shell of my former self. Here we go again:

(1980s SatoSugu AU + 1990s Megumi AU Playlists)

1. You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) - Dead or Alive

totally agree. i think every time this came on the radio Gojo would blast it and dance so hard the car shakes lol. plus i think he would sing along and tease/flirt with geto like leaning over and singing it to him, which would make Geto smile :)

2. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

love Geto being into the Police, absolutely integrating this, added a few Police songs (do you think Sting was Geto's sexual awakening lol)

Yeah it's got unrequited undertones but it's also so positive I could definitely see this song being a confession song that turns into a love song for them after

ahhhhhhh Akari visuals 😭 rain and umbrellas being visual motifs for them

i think geto just feels this way sometimes lol. he's a little troubled. Also added:

this one came out in '83 so I feel like gojo would hear it on the radio and really like it, which would make geto super happy :)

yeeeeee foreshadowing 😬

3. Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush

I don't know Kate Bush that well so I'll take your word for it! also if i think about this song in a stsg context for too long i will become very sad 🥲

BONUS: Take On Me - a-ha

abso-fucking-lutely. another blasting and dancing and flirting song except geto is also singing along and play flirting. you just can't listen to this song and not sing along at the top of your lungs in the most dramatic way possible. especially in a car

4. Lets Go To Bed - The Cure

I hadn't heard this one before!! I was mostly joking with that gif before lol. more like:

i get you, i can totally see it.

i love me a mutual pining slowburn lmaoo

5. Mayonaka no Door / Stay With Me - Miki Matsubara

ouch ouch ouch ouch (really beautiful song tysm 😢)

BONUS:

i decided gojo loves Supertramp (I love Supertramp) like he doesn't actually own too many records, but he owns Breakfast in America. So, here you go :)

it's the satosugu fix-it song of my dreams 🥲

--

If this doesn't post again, you're getting screenshots I'm so sorry.

BONUS BONUS: I drove home (after the FIRST TIME this didn't post) and listened to Pink Floyd since we already determined Geto has TWO pink floyd tapes in his glove compartment, and

god this one is really fucking me up

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

--

posting w/out the playlists attached in case too many audio links is the problem will edit again if i can

too many audio links is the problem. check the first two tags if you want them lol

[betterbooktitles]

Standing in a kitchen in Vermont, I spun the wheel on my black iPod and pressed down the fat, metallic button to select The Beatles’ Revolver from my long list of albums. “Taxman” came through the living room speakers. NPR had been echoing through the house for days in the TV-less room. The song’s opening guitar riff felt like watching fireworks.

My girlfriend’s dad, taking a break from DIY weatherproofing his home, a large open-concept cabin heated by a single wood-burning stove, said the words that always make me jealous: “I remember the day this came out.” 

He had run home from the record store after school with the album in tow, sat alone in his bedroom, and along with a bunch of kids his age in their respective rooms, heard Revolver for the first time. 

“Wow. What a day.” He said wistfully. 

“I remember it too.” My girlfriend said and tried to join in the reminiscing.

Her dad raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

“You mean you remember the first time you heard it?” I asked. 

“No I-” and her forehead wrinkled, and in her acid-addled brain, she tried to sort out for maybe 30 seconds how it was possible that she wasn’t alive in 1966 nor had she genetically inherited a memory from her parents of hearing Revolver the day it came out. “Yeah, I meant I can remember hearing it in this room for the first time, I guess.”

We listened to the rest of the album in classic Vermont style. That is, talking about how good the music is over the music you are currently listening to.

I don’t begrudge anyone wishing so hard they had been somewhere when they weren’t that they form an imaginary memory for something they never experienced. Only about 450,000 people were at Woodstock but millions claim they were there. Gen Z kids have mall nostalgia thanks to shows like Stranger Things showing them what a mall once was through rose-tinted glasses. I felt it most recently when my dad described using a reel-to-reel at the library and recording tapes of new albums before anyone else could borrow them.

As jealous as I feel toward every boomer or Gen Xer whose day revolved around getting out of school, buying a record, and hearing the needle drop the same day everyone else did, I know there is no equivalent for music for me, even though I can remember having nearly the same experiences with the radio and CDs. For instance, I remember our neighbor Kristen walking over to meet me and a big group of neighborhood kids at sunset one summer evening on our tree lawn (Cleveland suburbs term, the strip of grass between the street and the sidewalk outside your actual lawn that was technically the town’s responsibility but you still mowed). She had brought her battery-powered black boombox and (I swear) The Cranberries’ “Dreams” was playing. In my mind, I can see the final crane shot of a movie set in the 90s, the credits rolling as Dolores O’Riordan softly sings “Oh, my life…” It was the first of a million times I heard the song. This image is so on the nose, I can’t tell if it’s a real memory or a false one that’s been implanted in my brain like a replicant in Blade Runner.

Another music memory is attached to Kristen. A group of us were playing rummy in her basement, complete with an unused bar, the side of which was made of those thick borderline-opaque glass cubes. A light from behind behind the glass cast a greenish hue on the linoleum floor. I stared at it while she turned up a radio that looked like it was made in the ‘70s and said “I love this song!” She forced us all to pause the game and hear the 70s-style guitar tone of a 90s song complaining about “what the hell happened to the peace and love we knew so well in the 60s?” I was hearing a pre-Shrek-soundtrack Smash Mouth. I was spellbound. Surely, that was my ‘90s version of hearing Revolver the day it came out.

I have been forcing a feeling of nostalgia for times in which I did not exist my whole life, likely because the 60s/70s weren’t all that different from the 90s. Chuck Klosterman in his book The Nineties explores the topic in a chapter about That 70s Show:

“The kids on That ’70s Show hung out in basements and killed time by driving the family car around in circles, but those pastimes were not bygone pursuits—teenagers in the nineties were still hanging out in basements and still aimlessly cruising around. This was not some portal into an alien unknown. That ’70s Show could have instantly been remade as That ’80s Show or That ’90s Show if the references were changed and the fashions were updated. The characters and the conflicts were not entrenched in the seventies but ubiquitous to the entire last quarter of the twentieth century.”  -Klosterman, Chuck. The Nineties (p. 105). Penguin Publishing Group.

Klosterman is correct. The gap between my generation and my parents’ seems smaller than the one that exists between mine and a generation born after the iPhone, but I’ve always felt there was one big separation, one my parents’ generation never understood. I could pretend that sitting in the basement practicing drum solos and driving around town was as fun as it seemed on That 70s Show, but there was something else that haunted every hour of my adolescence and now pervades my adulthood. I could act like I’ve always been hip and young enough to understand each social media app as they entered the world, that the defining feature of my existence was LiveJournal, then Myspace, then Facebook…but no. The media that defines my life (besides 24-hour cable news incessantly reporting on terrorism and school shootings) is video games.

Read the rest here

[tsfs-dragon]

Finally finished the DLC.

You know.... the first story DLC for Xenoblade was XBC2: Torna the Golden Country. And in all honesty, that first time was their best work without a doubt. I felt that some things could have gone on a bit longer to flesh out things a little more. But all in all Torna really filled out events and characters as we see them in the main game. And sadly all DLC stories after that fell so short.

With Xenoblade Definitive Edition’s DLC story (yeah in all honesty it technically isn’t one but since it was mostly a remaster of shorts adding that and the challenge area in the base game was to likely help sell this game as the usual $60 and it plays exactly like a DLC story) Future Connected, and it was mid at best. A story that doesn’t really progress the main story as a whole. The big old fog beast plot is really as it is... nothing but hot air with no substance and easily forgettable.

Now you have Xenoblade 3 you have the Future Redeemed. There will be SPOILERS for this part. It just seems like any time “future” is added to DLC story titles it ends up not being good. And in this case is just worse. I was hoping.... WISHING that this story would patch stuff up that messed up with Xenoblade 3′s story but it doesn’t and even goes so far to spit in the face of fans. Though how fans can look at this experience and no be pissed off confuses me. It sticks with the “world split in two” even though the last games have nothing that supports this. There is constant talk about how “how if ‘they’ (Pyra and Mythra) where here” which is a question and really points to the flaws of this story. Why are they NOT there!? Pyra and Mythra would have fixed all this no problems but the creators of this game had have them not be involved because they would have easily fix things meaning no bullshit bad guy coming for no reason. What was the reason because they were just in Smash Brothers Ultimate the whole time? We see images of Klaus’s world, which again has ruins of that in the XBC2 world and not the first one. Characters like Shulk and Rex bring up some stuff in relation to their world but sadly it all feels empty and hollow as I would much rather play those games instead and not a game whose story is going to be wiped out like it was Sonic 06. It throws in Alvis as the baddie in this story with no real relation to the events going on. Could have just have Z as the main baddie in the story and it wouldn’t have mattered. Lore for this game just throws everything out the window without caring what came before. Titans have no value other and just to be there an look pretty. Nothing about them informs the world and makes it meaningful. All races are human despite those clearly not being human to the point where you just wonder why they didn’t just call Nopons humans if they cared so little. Characters like Glimmer should have clearly been alive for the events of the main story considering her being part Blade with a crystal that is the same as the Trinity Processor but NOOOOO, that would be logical. Made worse since with the race thing treats the aging process for the other races the game as a human even though they are not. Eunie is part High Entia yet ages like a normal human. Which to inform you there as a pure breed High Entia child that was in the 90s age range. The events that created the worlds of XBC and XBC2 it wasn’t just the Earth, it effected the whole UNIVERSE yet the narrative focuses on their planet exclusively. Then around the end you hear a radio talking and it isn’t lore important. It’s all just references to other things with no solid ground. One reference is the game of Xenoblade Chronicles X, which is strange since it feels like they want to forget that game. People claim that this ties X to the other games but not really. From what I looked up people left the planet because of aliens attacking and not just “oh let’s look around and live on other planets just cause”. All it does is share a name and that’s it, since with Klaus’s experiment effecting the universe I’m sure all of the people that left the planet and aliens that are out there all but dead and in ruins making the events of X happening within the 3 XB games unlikely. Same goes for a reference to Xenosaga. Don’t know if it was that game or another Xeno game, but it was just there in name only and that’s it.

At the end of the day I had hopes for this game and while characters are good and gameplay is alright at best, this game along with the DLC disappointed me to no end. The story and lore that was built up so much in the games before really just seemed to be lit on fire without a care, replace it all with trash that we are told is “good”. If Monolith Soft goes on to make another Xenoblade game unless it’s an X remaster to see what that game is like, then I can’t imagine buying any future games of that series. What would they tarnish next in future installments, character’s, gameplay? From XBC2 they could have gone up form there. The Definitive Edition of XBC was just a remaster and the DLC story wasn’t as good as it could have been. And we ended up with Xenoblade Chronicles 3, honestly the worst game in the series and I’m seriously regretting getting the paid DLC for it.

[conhivemindcent]

Hi, I also grew up with Steve Backshall on TV, and I thought I could help with British children’s TV.

There are two BBC children’s channels - CBeebies (which you’ve mentioned, it’s for younger children under 6) and CBBC (for 6-12 year olds). Deadly 60 was on CBBC and so was Iain Stirling (specifically I remember he did a show called The Dog Ate My Homework, which is essentially a children’s panel show themed around school. I enjoyed it as a 11-year-old though I doubt I’ll enjoy it as much now).

Deadly 60 had a game I used to love playing on the CBBC website where Steve was in Madagascar and had to climb around and take pictures of animals. I had a lot of fun but found the later stages really hard and I hated losing health by animals or falling. Helped to fuel my love of lemurs, and I will always be thankful for that.

I think a lot of this is before my time (I mostly watched CBBC in the mid 2010s). Noel Edmunds used to host Multi-Coloured Swap Shop in the 70s/80s on BBC1 (it wasn’t until 1985 that cbbc became its own block and 2002 until it became its own thing). Mr Blobby was from Noel’s House Party but I don’t think that was a kids show. And as a kid, I never really saw him. Or Basil Brush. I grew up with the puppets Hacker and Dodge T Dog. (Hacker Time was one of my favourite kids shows, again idk how well it holds up.)

Similarly, I never saw Richard Bacon on Blue Peter. I can’t remember who was on Blue Peter when I was a kid, but not him. Again, this was in the 90s, so I wasn’t even alive. Similar case with Rainbow - stopped airing in 1997 and I was a 2000s baby. I never saw any Ant and Dec children’s shows but they stopped doing kids shows in 2001. I first saw them when I watched Saturday Night Takeaway. Thankfully I never saw Savile either. If I remember correctly I would’ve been about 6 when he died and 7 when the expose came out. So I suppose that’s something good about being modern.

I don’t think Simon Amstell did anything kids related but again, I have a much more narrow scope of children’s television. He could’ve done everything in the 90s and I wouldn’t know.

Postman Pat I remember! Postman Pat and his black-and-white cat (Jesse). Always charming, but I never really remembered much of the episodes plots. So I can’t say whether he got bothered by dogs (though it could just be people making fun of dogs hating postmen). I liked the old stop-motion style, and looking at him now… oh why did they move him to cgi?

Peppa Pig… exists. It’s probably the most watched kids show and I really liked it as a kid but yea, it’s grating and annoying. An episode of it got banned in Australia; the Queen was in it and there was a walking talking potato. Also all the characters are alliterative but not George, Chloé or Alexander? Like in one episode they oppose the name Michael Rabbit but George Pig is ok with them? I don’t know if David Baddiel’s wife is in the show, but Grandpa Rabbit is Brian Blessed. Shame this is the one I recognise most about. But then again, the show has become a common laughing point not only in the Uk but also internationally with memes. The creators also made Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom which I believe is much better. Can be annoying and is for kids, but it’s much better.

There was also a game on the CBeebies website for Peppa Pig where you had to play against the adults to score in basketball. I had fun with it as a kid. Dead simple though.

I could probably share more about specifically 2010s children’s shows if you’d like to hear.

(Also unrelated to children’s shows but I watched it as a kid, Zoe Ball used to host the companion show to Strictly - It Takes Two and now has a breakfast show on radio 2)

I have literally never heard of any of the NYT 2024 contestants. Not just don’t know who they are, but I have absolutely never heard any of those names before in any capacity.

I realize that’s not that surprising, because I live in Canada. But I did think I had an okay grasp on people who are on UK TV. I acquired this grasp by watching a lot of their long- and short-running panel shows, and every time I heard a reference I didn’t get, I’d look it up so I’d know for next time.

I’m remembering last year at Just For Laughs, when I went to a club night called Brit-ish that was hosted by Tom Allen, and he referenced Mock the Week, and people cheered. He seemed surprised that the Canadian crowd knew about Mock the Week, which struck me as slightly condescending, thinking a bunch of people who had specifically shown up for a lineup of British comedians would not know about one of their extremely popular mainstream British comedy shows. But then Tom Allen said we might know that but we don’t know most British television, do we even know about The One Show?

I did, of course, know about The One Show. I know it as that thing where Jason Manford lost his job due to, in the delicate words of Frankie Boyle, having a wank in a hotel room. When Tom Allen asked that question, my mother even leaned over to me to whisper that she knew what The One Show was, because she’d watched a lot of WILTY and they’d had Alex Jones on (not – you know, not that Alex Jones, the Welsh one). My mom isn’t nearly as steeped in British television as I am, but even she had picked up on some of that. If you watch enough panel shows, you’re going to pick an understanding of British cultural references and TV personalities even outside of comedy. I know about lots of those. I certainly know about The One Show.

I do not, however, know who a single person on NYT 2024 is. That doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. Lots of people I’ve never heard of are very good at many things. I’m just saying, apparently I don’t know as much as I’d thought about people on British TV.

[writeroutoftime]

don't cry, beautiful

pairing: dead!luke patterson x reader

summary: on luke's birthday, twenty-five years after his death, you get a visit from a familiar face that gives you more comfort you could know

warnings: mentions of death, nothing worse than in the show

words: 1.8k

a/n: look at me, getting the fics out after months of this request sitting in my drafts! this is my first time for posting for JATP, and I'm really nervous. to be honest, I don't know if anyone still reads for this fandom, but I really enjoyed writing this - hopefully it's not too bad!

oOoOo

OCTOBER 21ST -

Every year, your mind and body felt heavy as you opened your eyes. Taking in a deep breath, you willed your eyes to hold back their tears as you got ready for a day of work. Even twenty-five years later, your heart still stung as much as the night you found out. It felt as though everywhere you looked, there seemed to be a reminder of him.

A hot dog vendor on the street, a boy with floppy, brown hair playing guitar on the corner, but the thing that drew the line for you was Trevor fucking Wilson’s ‘song’ on the radio as you drove to work. Ever since that fateful night you had fought with ‘Trevor’ over the rights to the songs, eventually losing the battle. It broke your heart to hear him receive undeserved credit for the song, so you quickly shut off the radio, content to mull over your thoughts for the rest of the drive.

All day at work, you existed in a daze – mind back in the 90’s and in that garage you spent so much time in that it felt like home. It wasn’t until later that afternoon that you allowed yourself to open the box of his things: an old shirt of his, stubs to movies and concerts you saw together, and with shaky hands, you pulled out a pile of polaroids.

“Oh, Luke. Why did you have to leave?” you whispered as the tears finally fell down your cheeks.

Looking through the pictures brought a smile to your face at the same time your heart clenched in grief. From childhood to rockstar, you and Luke had always been a part of each other’s lives. When he was upset with the world and with his parents, it was you that he turned to. When you needed comfort or a corny joke, you knew that Luke would always have your back. The last picture you have of the two of you, show you goofing off in Sunset Curve’s old garage – neither of you realizing how short your time together would be.

For a moment, you felt a cool breeze brush against your shoulder. Turning around, you gasped, but saw nothing there except thin air. With a shake of your head, you chalked it up as a figment of your imagination. Your emotions were running high, and you weren’t in a state to be judging reality. Sighing, you realized it was time to head over to Mitch’s and Emily’s, but before you left, you gazed at the polaroid one last time, lightly kissing the glossy film before tucking the box away for another year.

Not long after you arrived, Emily lit the singular candle on the birthday cake, and you tried to keep your tears at bay. It had been twenty-five years since Luke had been alive for a birthday, and it still ached just as much as the first year. Right as you, Emily, and Mitch were about to blow out the candle, you felt a calm presence behind you before the flame was extinguished as if the wind had snuck through the sealed window.

Spinning around, you swore it had felt like someone had been there – just like the feeling you got earlier in the day. The click of the lighter brought you back to the moment, and you leaned forward once more, closing your eyes. As you blew the candle out for Luke, you couldn’t help but make a wish.

“Please, just let me know that you’re okay, wherever you are, Luke.”

Quietly, the three of you took small bites of the chocolate cake, not really knowing what to say. The ring of the doorbell caught your attention. “I’ll get it.” you offered, glad for something to keep your mind and your hands busy.

What you weren’t expecting was a young girl on the other side, two pieces of paper gripped in her hands. “Hello, can I help you?” you asked with a soft smile.

“Is this the Patterson house?” she asked carefully.

“Yes, it is. I’m y/n, but Mitch and Emily are inside. And you are?” you asked.

Eyes widening slightly, the girl shook her head before sticking out her hand. “I’m Julie Molina. Did you know a boy named Luke?”

Your breath was taken out of your chest when she asked the question, and all you could do was nod. On all days, what were the chances that someone who claimed to know something about Luke magically appeared on the Patterson’s front steps. Shaking yourself out of your daze, you called out for Mitch and Emily before inviting Julie inside.

Taking a step back, you watched on as Julie explained who she was and where she lived – claiming she had found a bunch of Luke’s old things. It was difficult not to break down watching as Julie handed Emily a song Luke wrote for her, unknowingly giving Emily the peace, she had been searching for the past twenty-five years.

Suddenly moving to approach you, Julie stopped in front of you, offering a tentative smile. “I think this song is for you, y/n.” Julie said, handing you the second piece of paper she had brought with her. “I also found it with Luke’s things. I think he would want you to have it.”

With shaky hands, you glanced down at the paper and chuckled when you immediately recognized the messy, slanted writing that could only belong to Luke.

Reading through the song brought back every memory – the good ones and the bad ones – you had with Luke. His poetic words spun a story of how resilient your love was, even though all the challenges. He sung about how you changed his world and made him a better person. He also wrote about how, even at 17, he knew you were his one and only. At the end of the song, there was a messy scrawl in Luke’s writing:

to my best friend and love of my life, y/n

Holding that paper made you feel as though Luke was standing right behind you, bringing you the comfort you so desperately needed on that day. Overwhelmed by all the emotions, you smiled thankfully at Julie before excusing yourself, taking a step outside. Once you were alone, you let out a shaky breath, leaned against the cool, brick siding, and let the tears run down your face.

“Don’t cry, beautiful.” a voice whispered, and you thought you were hallucinating.

Glancing up, you let out a loud shriek when right before you stood Luke Patterson, just as handsome as the last time you had seen him 25 years ago.

“Everything alright, dear?” Emily asked leaning outside.

You looked between the spot where Luke was and the door that Emily stood in, realizing she could not see whatever image your mind had conjured up. “Yeah, sorry. Thought I saw a mouse.” you lied, offering a faux smile until she went indoors.

Turning back around, you braced yourself to be meant with thin air once more, but there Luke still stood. ��Luke?” you whispered, not trusting your own voice. “Am-am I hallucinating?”

“No, no. It’s really me.” Luke rushed to reassure you, taking a few steps closer to you. “I can’t believe I get to see you again.” he admitted, running a hand through his messy hair.

“How can you be here?” you asked, still trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“Well, uh, I’m a ghost.” he chuckled, looking up at you through his doe eyes sheepishly. “Julie found us one day when she listened to our CD, and here I am. Oh, Alex and Reggie are ghosts too.”

A laugh bubbled out of your chest, eyes staying misty as you thought about the two, sweet boys that had been your close friends. “I can’t believe you’re really here.” you breathed out, taking yet another step closer.

“I can’t believe you can see me.” Luke admitted. “So far, Julie has been the only one who can see us.”

Reaching out, you moved to grasp Luke’s hand, only to be met with cool air. Face falling, you looked into Luke’s eyes and noticed the disappointment.

“And that still makes no one who can make contact with us.” he mumbled, sitting down on the stone patio.

You took a moment to watch the boy in front of you, heart aching over how he hadn’t changed at all. To his inflection, his mannerisms, even his looks. “You look like you haven’t aged a day.” you said, taking a seat next to the ghost of your former boyfriend, suddenly very insecure about the way you looked. The last time Luke had seen you, you had been twenty-five years younger and no traces of grey hair or aging wrinkles.

“Can’t say the same for you.” he teased, wanting to bump your shoulder as he used to. “But seriously, y/n, you’re still the most beautiful person to me.”

There was a moment of silence, neither of you knowing how to handle the situation you found yourselves in. “I’m so sorry, Luke.” you finally spoke, shoulders shaking as the tears fell once more. “I tried to stop Bobby from taking those songs as his own. I screamed and I fought, but he would never listen to me. I just wanted this world to remember Reggie, Alex, and you.” you confessed, arms wrapped around yourself.

Luke moved on instinct to wrap his arms around you, sighing when his arm fell through your body again. “Please don’t cry, babe.” he comforted as if no time had passed. “I mean, yeah, we were mad when we found out what Bobby did, but it doesn’t matter. The fact that you even fought against him makes me so proud. I know you want to make things right, but we’re making music again with Julie, people can hear us sing.” he explained, a smile taking over his features. “The only thing I want is for you to be happy and to let go.” Luke told you, eyes, and voice serious.

“I don’t know if I can do that.” you admitted. “But I’ll try for you.” you added on, offering a watery smile in return. “It’s a beautiful song.” you told him after a minute, holding up the sheet of lyrics you had yet to let go.

Luke blushed but smiled none the less. “I meant every word. My best friend and the love of my life – I’ll always love you.” he told you.

“And I’ll always love you.” you professed, closing your eyes as he stepped forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

Although you couldn’t feel the warmth of his lips, you felt his presence bring a comfort to you that you hadn’t known for a long time. When you opened your eyes again, Luke was gone, but it didn’t hurt like you thought it would.

“Happy Birthday, Luke.” you whispered into the air, song clutched to your chest – a new reminder of your promise to Luke.

[vxmorpheus]

It’s been 30 years

since she first landed, and 15 years since we lost contact with her and she died. We knew the day was going to come at some point, but it didn’t make it any easier. We watched her progress, enjoyed her photos, and played music to wake her up. Now, here we were, on Mars and I had a plan. I wanted to find her, not just for myself, but for everyone who cared, everyone who cried at our loss, everyone who wondered where she was and what state of disrepair she was in. 

I quietly influenced where we should land, my crew had no idea what I planned on doing. I wasn’t even sure if they remembered her. Sure, over the past 15 years there were many others like her… but they weren’t her. She was only supposed to live for 90 days and she survived for 15 years. She shared so much with us… pictures, data, and she even discovered water (in the form of ice of course), and she shared her life with us from millions of miles away. I was determined to find her, to show her… we still remember everything you did for us.

We landed between Sunderland Point and Spirit point, not far from where she was last known to be, it took a couple of weeks to set up camp and set up our land rover, but when everything was said and done… we were here. At nights, I would stare out the window at the moons, the huge sky of stars, and the vast dry dusty horizon, it was beautiful. This is what she saw every night before ‘going to sleep’, this is what she lived under, this is where she had lived for 15 years, this is where she lied in permanent slumber. Being able to share this beauty and experience with others was a gift… But she was alone her entire life on Mars and she was alone when she died, in a physical sense. We were there but we couldn’t be there with her. She deserved to come back, she may be unable to come back to working order or back to Earth… but she deserved to come back into the human hands that built her, and loved her for what she was and what she did. The hands that played her music every day to wake her from her coma and sent the final message of I’ll Be Seeing You in hopes that maybe, one day, we will see her again. 

In the morning, I told the crew I was going out to explorer. They told me to be careful, to not stray too far from camp, and to come back before nightfall. Getting on the land rover and driving around was… amazing, weird… alien, yet it felt as if I were driving in a desert on Earth. The land was vast, the terrain was difficult, it took hours to thoroughly search the small area I had marked for day one. In the end, she wasn’t there. She wasn’t anywhere I looked in the week that followed. I wanted to give up… but I couldn’t. She didn’t give up after 90 days, and neither will I. The search continued, I was asked questions by my crew about what I was doing. I wanted to tell them, but I was worried they would think I was stupid or would tell me to give up and that there was no hope in finding her, so… I told them I was mapping out the surrounding area, which in a sense is true. I was mapping out the area, just not for the reason they thought.

Days passed… then weeks… then months… with no luck. Not a single sign of her. But I still didn’t give up. I didn’t want to give up on my personal mission. It might sound weird, but I didn’t want to give up on her. I wanted her to be back with the people who cared and not at the hands of a merciless landscape. The sun was 3 hours from setting and I was on my way back from another failed exploration. Could she have moved? Could she have wandered aimlessly, searching for a way to communicate to us again, only to finally succumb to the dust storm? No… no that sounded stupid… right? But… no, it’s dumb to think such things. It makes no sense. I shook my head and looked off to my left, knowing the terrain by heart by now, I felt comfortable looking away for a time. I needed to clear my thoughts before getting back to base. 

I idly hummed a song to myself, watching the land go by as I drove. I slammed on the breaks, almost causing the rover to tip over, but I swore I had just seen something. I tore my hands away from the steering wheel and slowly got out of the vehicle. I stepped alongside it, staring out to where I saw something reflect, and that’s when I saw the shine again. Taking a sharp inhale, I slowly walked over to the reflective object. It was covered in a heavy amount of dust, but some had blown off from a recent wind storm… I looked down at the large object if it weren’t for the storm, I would have never seen it… it just blended in with everything so well. I knelt down and dusted it off, the air caught in my lungs, and tears formed in my eyes. 

It was her. It had to be her.

I desperately cleaned off everything I could and tried pulling at her to get her tires free from the 15 years of accumulated dust and dirt but she was stuck pretty hard. I crouched down to my knees and grabbed a rock, stabbing and digging at the dirt around her tires, and by the time I freed them… the sun was setting and it was getting cold. Running to the land rover, I dug around for rope to hitch her up to it. I hooked the rope to the rover and walked over to her, looking for the best way to tie her up and not break the fragile machinery. The only way I thought I could do this was by tying her up by her box body, the WEB. I was as careful as possible and even more careful as I towed her back to base. I was freezing cold by the time I saw base, the last bits of the sun just beginning to disappear. There were lights outside moving around, probably the crew doing last minute checks before heading to bed… That’s when a loud radio buzz came over my com before the captain’s voice yelled at me, asking where the hell I was, why I was so late coming back. The yelling continued until they showed their lights onto her, then there was a long silence that overcame them.

Once I parked the rover and got out, I fell down to my knees. I couldn’t feel my legs, I hadn’t moved them once on the way back. Everyone rushed over and helped me to the base to warm me up. I was setting into hypothermia, I couldn’t process anything anymore at that point. They threw so many questions at me, I just couldn’t understand anything they were saying, all that I thought about was, “at least she was found finally and she wasn’t alone. At least I’m not alone either…” before passing out. I thought I was dying… well… I guess, in a way, I was dying, but… since I wasn’t alone… since I had people around me who cared… they helped me. They saved me. When I came to some time later, a couple of days later, I was once again questioned on my reckless actions and what I had brought back to base. I told them everything. I told them how I searched for her every day, how I found her, why I wanted to find her, why I risked my stupid life to bring her back, who she was…

They didn’t believe me at first, so we took her to the garage with the land rover and began looking at her parts. We cleaned her out, checked all the hardware, and somehow… we were able to run diagnostics on her. She should have been a heap of junk on the Martian wasteland, but here she was… still in, mostly, one-piece and somewhat functional. We ignored everything for a while and just worked on her for a couple of days. Replacing a small part of her solar panels, shining light onto it, hoping for something… anything… but she didn’t wake up. We checked her body, checked everything we could… and retried again. We watched the computer eagerly, waiting for something, and there was something. There was a small bit of charge, we waited for hours but it hardly went up any. 

She somehow charged to a small 5% and connected to our computer. We began receiving data slowly before she started to smoke, making us panic. One of the crew went to take the light away, but before he did… we received a message… or rather… she received our final message. I’ll Be Seeing You played for her while we sat there and watched…

I'll find you

In the morning sun

And when the night is new

I'll be looking at the moon

But I'll be seeing you…

Then… she powered down for the last time. Nothing we did brought her back. But… it’s for the best… it was time to let her go. It was her time to go. She stayed fighting for so long… just long enough for someone to find her… so she could hear our last message to her. Our love song for her. Our good-bye song to her. We all started crying as soon as we realized she was gone for good. Even though she was ‘just a machine’, she still meant things to us. We humanized her, gave her a name, watched her explore and discover new things, watched her age, and now… with a final good-bye… we watched her die.

We humanize the most mundane and inanimate things, we love them and care about them as if they were alive… and when they die or get destroyed… we grieve for them. We grieve for the humanity we put onto them, we grieve for something that felt like somebody, and that’s ok. It’s ok to grieve or something that seems so… abnormal or stupid… it’s not stupid or abnormal in the end though. It’s only human to love such a thing so deeply that you humanize it and miss it when it’s gone. And it hurts if we feel we never had the proper good-bye with them.

Knowing that Oppy, Opportunity, died, despite many attempts to wake her up, and then get sent the final song I’ll Be Seeing You is… touching, comforting even, but it still makes me incredibly sad. She was long since passed when we sent the final message, I’m not even sure if she truly received the good-bye she oh so deserved, which makes me cry even more to think about.

But maybe

Just maybe

We will be seeing you again one day.

[collecting-stories]

Missing - John B Routledge

Request: May I request #43 and #90 from your monster prompt list for John B? You're my favorite writer on Tumblr these days 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

You weren’t selfish enough to say that you were taking it harder than anyone else. Everyone was equally devastated and who were you to judge anyone else’s pain, but you knew how hurt you felt. You had grown accustomed to the ache that settled every time you thought about John B. It happened often. Sometimes without any warning signs, sometimes because something so minute it shouldn’t matter reminded you of him.  

You burst into tears in the dairy section of the grocery store, falling onto the floor and wiping tears away while you tried to shuttle yogurt back into your basket. You couldn’t even look at eggs without thinking of him.  

When Big John had gone missing, you’d been there, watching John B go through the motions, desperate to take away the pain. You always told yourself that if you could’ve shouldered that burden you would’ve. It was just a string of words at the time but you had been sure you had meant them. Because even in your wildest dreams you hadn’t thought that taking on the burden of not knowing would mean not having John B by your side.  

Shoupe had gotten tired of hearing from you and Pope and JJ and Kiara. At least one of you calling every day. Was there any word? You’d been so mad at him when he left, so annoyed that Sarah was going with him, that you had hardly cared about the storm. Until Shoupe was saying that they lost the radio and the coast guard reporting no sign of a ship. They scoured for days, weeks, but nothing. He was missing. Just like Big John.  

“He can’t be missing!” You had insisted, vehemently, when your father broke the news to you. “He can’t be missing, they have to keep looking.”

“They will, honey, they will, but for now he’s officially a missing person.” He had tried everything to calm you down until he finally settled on reasoning with you, possibly the worst of all the attempts. “Now, missing just means they can’t find him, it doesn’t mean anything else.”

The anything else he meant was death. You knew that.  

“They said Big John was missing too. They said he was missing and he was dead on that island! They said and...what if John B...what if he doesn’t come back? What if he’s not out there?” You cried, almost impossible loud, as you pictured it. John B stranded somewhere, giving in to sharks or the current or anything.  

“They’ll find him.” Your dad tried again, sitting beside you, arm around your shoulders. It wasn’t right that you were making this much of a scene, that your parents were condoling you over a boy they hated so much they had probably wished he’d disappear.  

Wasn’t it you, three days after he broke up with you, that was skirting out after dinner, swearing to be back and calling out that John B needed you. Needed. What a word. You needed him. More than he needed you or gold or Sarah or Nassau. You needed him. Here in the empty Chateau, here in his bed talking to you about ships and stars, here on the marsh. Here, alive, happy, you needed him.  

“What if he’s not alive when they do?” You asked.  

“We can’t think about the what if’s.”

But it was all you could do. What if after what if for months until you exhausted yourself. You tried to focus on other things. Parties, work, friends that were still on the island, friends who understood. You tried on different guys but none of them stuck. Maybe they would have if John B was still alive but he wasn’t and all they did was remind you of what you were lacking. When you cried as one of them kissed you, you knew it was the end of your brief love affairs.  

It was like your whole body ached for John B.  

And then one day you woke up feeling a little less foggy. You felt like you were aware, like you were living your life not just watching it. You didn’t mop in bed the way you had been but went for a walk on the beach instead. When you came home no one was there but the potted plant next to the door, the one that hid a secret spare key, was moved slightly.  

Your dad had a forgetful streak but you took your phone out just in case, ready to call the sheriff if something was a miss. Everything in the house seemed normal, some mud on the stairs but that was a given living so close to the marsh. Your door was a jar when you had left it open and you pushed it, watching it swing open and the intruder spun around, alerted by the creaking noise.

“Oh my god,” your phone hit the carpeted floor and you stood there in the tiny ranch, hands to your mouth as you stared at John B. Hair a little longer, looking a little rougher than before, there he was. “Oh my god.”

“Hey, hey,” he reached for you, pulling you into arms that hadn’t held you in months. Whatever he meant to do, being held by him only made you more hysterical and you wrapped your arms around him, crying, “shh, babe, it’s okay. We’re okay.”

“God, I missed you so much.” You pressed your face to his shirt, tears staining the Hawaiian print translucent. “I thought, I thought I was never going to see you again.”  

“I know, I’m so sorry, I missed you too.” He brushed hair out of your face and kissed your forehead, hand pressed to your cheek. He was warm and welcoming and you had missed him so desperately that having him here now had you wondering how you had survived without him.  

“Does everyone else know?” You asked, suddenly. Had he gone to see Kiara or Pope or JJ?  

“Not yet, hey, don’t worry I’m gonna tell them.” He promised, “I just wanted to see you first. I missed you so much.”

John B was positive that he could never be sorry enough to make up for leaving you on this island though he wouldn’t have wanted you out there, capsizing in the ocean. You would have been loyal though, a trustworthy companion and it shouldn’t have taken going to Nassau to see that.

“I’m sorry,” he began apologizing again, ignoring his own thoughts on its worth, “I’m sorry about Sarah.”  

You sucked in a breath. You weren’t sure you wanted to hear that name ever again, half expecting her to jump out from some corner and ruin the moment. Here in this room John B was all yours, at least for right now.

“Where is she?” You asked.

“Somewhere, here, Nassau...I don’t know.” He clarified. He and Sarah had lasted less than he expected or hoped in the aftermath of breaking up with you. “I’m sorry I left you like that...I’m sorry for Sarah. I just...I just wasn’t listening to my head.”

“Trust me,” you assured, “I tried to move on, no one is you.” The tears came back before you could stop them, choking out that you had thought he was dead. Worried that he was on some island somewhere and no one would ever find him and he would die and you would be here not knowing. “They said it was a disappearance.”

“I know, they had too, it’s okay.” He promised, pulling you into him again, “it’s okay. I’m here, nothing can hurt you.”

“I don’t care what does, as long as you’re here.”  

-

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[lilmissuncreative]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @alwaysupatnight

I have nothing to show WIP wise. So, I’m cheating and sharing the other SethKate Pushing Daisies AU that I abandoned undercut.

No idea who to tag with this, so play along if you’re keen.

So this was what I wrote out first. I had just started editing and then my brain decided “oh, wait. I can make this sadder” and that’s what ended up on AO3. Warnings for major character death. There is no proof reading and poor editing. Also, liberties where taken with the Pushing Daisies lore because I could.

11:55pm. 

It's been days since Kate went missing.

Hours since they dug up her body from the shallow grave in the nearby cemetery. 

Minutes since Richie laid her on the lumpy mattress and went to scope out the number of, hopefully, very seedy criminals calling the motel home for the night.

Seth's just sitting on the chair next to her. He hasn't been able to move far from where she is. 

All he can think is that none of this feels real. 

Seeing Kate, lying on a too white bedsheet in a crappy motel… Seth can almost pretend that she's only asleep. 

But her chest never rises or sinks. 

Her heart doesn’t beat. 

She'll never open her eyes on her own again. 

Seth hears himself sigh out loud. He feels the sort of tired that sits in your bones. It's been a long, fucking… life for him. He can't remember the last time he had a full-night sleep and woke up feeling rested. 

His eyes dart to the clock-radio on the bedside table. 

11.57pm.

The door opens and a loose receipt, the cleaning crew missed, flutters off the nightstand and across to the bed. 

He's a second away from reaching for it before he stops himself. 

Touch a dead thing once, it comes back to life. Touch it again, and it stays dead forever. 

There's no room for missteps or fuck-ups. He has one chance to get this right. Only one touch. 

One touch that has to last a lifetime. 

"Sixty seconds won't be enough," Richie says from the doorway.

"It won't be sixty seconds," Seth says as he sits up straighter on the rickety chair next to the bed. 

"You do a couple of homeroom experiments on your own and suddenly you know how your gift works?"

"It's a curse, Richard. It's not a gift."

Richie always has some comeback when he says that, but his silence now feels louder than any sarcastic comment he could've made.

"I'll make it work," Seth adds, when he hears Richie close to the room door and make his way towards the bed with Kate. 

"Eighty seconds won't be enough either," Richie answers with a scoff. "And Kate's a lot bigger than the cat you tried this on."

He's not wrong. Seth knows this. All they have is their little, working theory that as long as he's holding onto Kate, it counts as one touch. The one minute grace period only starts when he let's her go. 

They got it to work with a few tiny critters - maybe 90 seconds without paying a price. 

They've never tried it on a human. 

There's never been a human they had to bring back. 

One touch. And then he never touches her again. 

But at least she'll be alive. 

12:04 am. 

"There's another way, Seth."

"Richie…"

"She doesn't have to know about the other person who has to die."

"Richie, we've been over this," he says with a glance at Kate, as he stands and walks over to Richie. "Buddy, you know we have to let her decide. It has to be her choice."

"And what if that choice is wrong, huh, Seth? She's there. She's right there. And you have the power to bring her back to us. Are you really going to kill her again if she says so?"

He puts his hands on Richie's shoulders to stop him from pacing around the room. "We'll get her back, Richie."

"Seth, you know she'll never allow someone else to die in her place."

"I'll convince her, okay. We have time as long as I'm holding onto her."

"Sure, Seth. Whatever you wanna tell yourself."

He grabs onto Richie by the scruff of his neck and looks him in the eye. "She'll listen, Richie."

"How do you know, Seth?" Richie asks, brushing him off. "Have you met Kate Fuller? How do you know she would ever be okay with someone else sacrificing their life for hers?" 

"BECAUSE SHE HAS TO, OKAY. 

"Because I can't do this without her," Seth finishes lamely, with a glance back at Kate. 

Of course he knows she won't agree immediately. She needs time. But he's Seth fucking Gecko. He has a strong grip and nowhere else to be.

He's gonna get his girl back if it kills him. 

"Okay, Brother," Richie replies from where his bony ass is suddenly lounging on the bed next to Kate. "You want me to hold her down while you convince her?"

He thinks this is the first time he's seen Richie smile in days, and it makes him breathe a bit easier. 

"You just get ready to jump as soon as Sleeping Beauty here gives her okay," Seth warns as he makes his way back to Kate's side. 

"You should maybe clean up a bit first, Seth. That hair alone could shock a woman to death."

"Shut up, Richard."

12:17am. 

Seth slumps back into the chair and closes his eyes for a second. Digging up a grave really takes a lot out of a man. 

"So, shall we Prince Charming?" Richie asks, disturbing his moment of silence. "You're not getting any younger."

"I suggest you stretch, so you don't pull her a muscle sprinting to your car, Speedy."

He's trying to keep the mood light, but he knows they can't delay this much longer. 

He sees Richie shifting from the corner of his eye. He's leaning over Kate, and before Seth can ask what the fuck he's doing, Richie takes Kate's right arm and extends it towards him. 

"Seth," he starts. 

"Yeah, I know."

12:20am.

Seth grabs Kate's arm from Richie. Then grips her tight when his brain catches up to what's happening. 

The only movement in the room is Richie shifting back to the other side of the bed.

With all their trash talk, they both know they weren't ready for this moment.

Seth's not even sure he's breathing. 

Kate's eyes open slowly. They watch her blinking, testing them out like she's forgotten how to see. 

She looks over at Richie first and smiles. 

And fuck, it feels like this is the first time he can breathe since Kate went missing. 

He sees when she realises there's a hand on her arm and finally looks at him, giving him that soft smile and wiggling into the mattress like she does when she used to wake up next to him. 

"Hey, you," she says, softly. 

That's when he fucking knows. 

Richie's right. 

No amount of time in the world will convince Kate Fuller, the brightest damn soul to ever grace this Earth, to sacrifice someone else's life for her own. 

But he also knows that he can't let her go, now that they have her back. 

He gives his brother a look, and Richie knows instantly what he's thinking. Richie nods, lifts Kate's left hand up to lay a kiss on her knuckles and says, "Welcome back, Katie Cakes."

"I thought I told you never to call me that again," she answers in protest, but Richie's already off the bed and halfway out of the door. 

"You can remind me of that tomorrow. But it's my queue to leave."

"Where are you going?"

12:20am.

Shit. He should've set the stopwatch. 

"Kate…" he starts, but trails off quickly. He's not gonna tell her about the other dead body coming out of their extracurricular activities, but he still has to tell her what happened. 

And why this is the last time he'll get to hold her like this. 

"Seth, what's going on?" she asks, quietly. 

"Sweetheart, you have to listen to me."

"Where are we?" she asks, sitting up in bed and looking around the motel room. 

"Kate, honey. Listen to me."

"What is going on with you? You can let go of my arm, now."

The easy smile on her face is dropping. She knows something is wrong, and if he doesn't explain what's happening soon, she's going to panic. 

He has to keep control of the situation. 

"I… I'm going to," he starts, softly and steady. "But I need you to understand what's about to happen, okay? Tell me, Kate. What's the last thing you can remember?"

"Besides you acting weird?" 

"Sweetheart, I need you to think."

"Seth," she says in that voice that means she's done with his shit. "I need you to give me my arm back."

"Think Kate," he insists. He knows she must remember something. She just needs to focus. 

"I… I don't know… " she says, with furrowed brows and a slight tug of her arm.

"Kate."

"I don't know, okay! It was late. I was doing something... It was cold. It felt like someone was following me."

Seth grips her arm tighter and wants to fucking murder the people who did this to her all over again. 

Kate places her free hand on his and squeezes. "It's okay, right? I'm here with you now. Everything is okay."

"What else do you remember?" he asks before she gets off track trying to care for him. 

Before she can argue with him again, he says, "Please, Kate." He looks into her bright, beautiful eyes, and hopes that she can tell that he's not joking. Not about this. 

Kate closes her eyes and he watches her face change as she concentrates. 

He watches her free hand reach to touch the back of her head. 

Where they hit her. 

"I think someone," she says but hesitates. "I think someone attacked me. Hit me and put something over my face." 

She shakes her head like she can't believe the words coming out of her mouth. "Seth. I couldn't breathe. I tried to fight them off, but I…"

He's careful not to lose his grip on her arm as he pulls her towards him. But fuck. He needs to hold her now. Know she's here. Know she's safe. 

"Baby. It's okay," he says with his lips on her forehead. Everything is gonna be okay."

She buries her head into the crook of his neck, and tries her best to pull her right arm free from him, but fails. 

"Seth. What is going on?" pulling back to look at him. "And why can't you let go of my arm?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Tell me.

"Please," she adds with a whisper, as she threads her fingers through the hair at his temples. 

"Tell me," she says again with a small smile of encouragement. 

"Seth… please," she whispers. 

Her free hand cups his cheek and he leans into the feel of her without thought. 

It's exactly like she used to wake him when he had that real bad flu, and he can almost… almost let himself forget… 

Kate Fuller. 

His angel in human form. 

Asking him the one thing he can't fucking bare to say out loud. 

He has to clear his throat a few times before he manages to say, "Someone took you, Kate. They took you and they hurt you, and I fucking made them pay." 

"Okay," says slowly. "But you found me right? I don't remember any of it, but you saved me."

He hangs his head as he says, "Not exactly."

Fuck, he's practiced this speech a million and one times, but saying the words feels harder than getting clean from smack. 

"What does that mean?"

He grips her tighter, lifts his head to look her straight in the eye and says, "You didn't make it out alive, Kate. You died." 

She just stares at him for what feels like forever, and then breaks into a laugh. "Seth, I'm not…"

"They found your body," he continues before she can finish. "Scott had to… We tried to get to you before the funeral, but we couldn't get your brother away from you."

"Haha, Seth. Very funny. How can I be dead, when I'm here listening to you?" She tries to lean back and pull out of his grip. 

Maybe he should let her, Richie should be far enough away by now. He can call him to come back when the 60 seconds are over and they can explain how she's a special version of undead together. 

But he's not ready to let go of her yet. Forever. 

"Kate. Think." 

"This isn't funny, Seth," she says, the smile long gone from her face. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore. You can let me go now."

He pulls her towards him, almost into his lap. "Kate. Think. Remember."

There's a moment, when the expression in her face changes and he can tell that she's starting to believe him. 

"I…" she asks slowly. "But I can't be…" 

He wants to say something to her, to make her understand, but the words just won't come out. 

She's staring at him with her bright eyes. Asking him silent questions he doesn't want to answer. 

"But. I'm alive now, right?" she asks, slowly. 

All he can do is grip her tighter and nod. 

"Then did Richie…"

"No," he answers quickly, knowing exactly where her head went. "You have to be alive for the venom to work." 

"Then how, Seth? I don't understand what is happening."

"I… err…" he stutters. "Well… turns out, Sweetheart that I can bring things back from the dead."

Kate scoffs at him. "Yeah, right. Next thing you'll tell me is that you found God and you're letting Jesus take the wheel."

"I'm no Jesus…" 

"Next thing you'll tell me," she continues, "is that you've joined the priesthood."

"You don't believe me?" he asks, a little surprised that she thinks he's joking. 

She gives him her classic 'I'm done with Seth Gecko' look, and it makes him laugh. 

Fuck, it feels good to laugh with her again. He almost wants to tease her. He wants one minute where he can forget that she died. One glorious minute, where Kate is just her beautiful, obstinate self and he can pretend everything was back to normal. 

But he knows this won't be easy for her. And he still feels too raw to joke about it. 

"Katie," he whispers. "I wouldn't lie about this." He pulls her closer and drops his forehead to hers. 

Fuck. He doesn't want to be having this conversation with her. He doesn't want any of this to be happening. He just wants him and his girl, on the beach, with no other motherfucking person in sight. But he's made it this far in explaining, it's not much more left to it. 

When he pulls back and looks at her, Kate's focus is on something else. He can see her eyes flit from the white dress they buried her in, to the pair of shovels in the corner, to the set of dirty work gloves and boots they wore earlier. 

The expression on her face tells him that it's finally all hitting her. 

He feels like his heart is breaking all over again. 

"So, I died?" she eventually says. 

"Yeah."

"But I'm not dead anymore."

"No."

"And I'm not a culebra?"  

"No, Sweetheart." 

"But am I… alive alive?"

"I. I…" he stutters. He slowly trails his finger along her jaw, revelling in the feel of her skin while he still can. "This didn't exactly come with a how-to manual."

"I'm not gonna turn evil or try to eat people?" she asks as she grabs his hand to hold in hers. "Can I even eat? What does that make you? A necromancer? Are there others like you? What happens when…"

"Kate. Honey," he says, lifting his free hand to kiss her knuckles. "We have plenty of time to figure all of that out."

"But I have so many questions. It's…"

"I know, Kate."

"I died," she states, like it's the most normal thing in the world. 

"I know."

"Have there been others?"

"People? No. Not since we figured out how it works." He has to look away when he says, "It comes with strings attached."

"Like what?"

Touch a dead thing once, it comes back to life. Touch it again, and it dies forever.

"Kate, I can't ever touch you again."

"You what?" she asks, holding tighter onto him. "Never? What happens if I touch you?"

"You're back into being food for the worms, Sweetheart."

"Delightful." She scrunches up her nose and he has to run the tip of his finger along the ridge of it. For the last time. "So, as long as you're holding my arm…"

"Counts as one touch," he finishes for her. 

"But there'll be no second?" 

"Not as long as you want to stay alive." 

She nods her head.

Runs the tip of her fingers along his hairline. 

12.23am.

"Anything else I should know about my new state of not dead but not alive?"

Keep a dead thing alive for more than a minute and something else dies in its place. 

She'll hate them for not telling her. She'll argue. She'll probably try to leave. She'll hate them for God knows how long. Seth can live with that. But at least she'll be alive. 

"So, what do we do now?"

"I dunno," he says, honestly. He never thought it through to this point. All human had on his mind was bringing her back. 

He traces the tip of his finger along the length of her nose, along her soft lips, and finally rests his palm on her cheek. 

"We have to tell Scott," she says suddenly. 

A sudden flash of Scott's very sharp swords springs into Seth's mind, and he flinches. 

She leans harder against him as she says, "He'll be upset at first, but he'll come around." 

"Yeah."

"So, this is the last time we get to touch?" she asks. 

"Afraid so, Princess. You better get your worth then."

The second before her lips touches his, Seth thinks, Richie was right. He couldn't risk telling her the truth and having her choose to die anyway. 

[ravenadottir]

Hear me out: headcannons about Bobby growing old with mc🥺 (I needed some fluff T-T)

no no no no no, you can’t just come in here and do this to me!! that’s so wholesome! i think i’m gonna have to divide this in decade marks, and maybe stop at the 30 year mark? i can do a part II later. 🤔

‘10 year mark’

the ‘mckenzie’ brand has expanded to restaurants, bars and bakeries all over the uk

the bars are considered a hot spots in the big cities. pictures of young ‘paisley cuddle’ are scattered on the walls, along with the pics from the villa’s parties, to set the theme

the restaurants have bobby and his experiences with famous chefs, like jake ‘sweetcheeks’ wilson, mary berry, gordon ramsey, wolfgang puck.

the bakeries however have the pictures from the time bobby went on the bake off show and won.

there’s small town models of the bakeries/restaurants that are seen as ‘family diners’

you and bobby already have two kids, 4 years apart from each other. in my head bobby is the type to have them earlier so they can live their best life together, have fun in the kitchen or in the backyard playing ball.

he loves throwing birthday parties every year, and of course, baking the cake. to which year is a different theme. “babe, you take care of the decorations and the details i’m definitely gonna forget, and me?” he puffs his chest holding a whisk. “i’m the cake guy.”

bobby is the reason why the kids love the parties so much. he’s the type of parent that goes on the slider with the kids, jumps with them in the bounce house, starts the water balloon wars…

the parents are so thankful for him since he’s pretty much the one who keeps an eye on them at all times.

usually, he’s waking up early every day because it became a habit since his hospital times. he never really shook that habit. so he prepared breakfast, takes the dog out, while you wake the kids up to eat and rush them to school

the dad that takes two different cameras and a phone to film and take pictures during his kids’ public presentations, games, recitals and science fairs “dad, one phone is enough” “yeah, but your dad needs backup! i’m from the 90′s darling. i can’t be any different” he says, shrugging with a grin.

you guys have a small house on the outskirts of glasgow or london, depending on who won the bet you had when you got married.

you’re pregnant again. entirely unplanned and now bobby can’t stop crying,. he always wanted three kids.

‘15 year mark’

a third child came three years ago, which made you consider a much more peaceful place to buy a house. and a bigger one for that matter.

bigger bakyeard means more people and their kids playing around the lawn, as bobby and gary grill sausages, making stupid jokes about it, and you and the girls have drinks shaking your heads.

you and bobby are gary’s kids’ godparents

ibrahim can’t come, he’s to busy making mad money on brand deals. noah is calming the kids down, by reading something in the living room, while bobby shakes a cocktail for the tired parents.

gary gives you a new couple of puppies, because the dog you had has unfortunately passed away. (sorry!)

your first kid is just turning 13 and being a little pain in the ass. but they like their uncles and aunties so they will actually raise their heads from *inser new device that will replace phones*

you guys travel in your car, to spend a week in cabins, fishing, playing ball, having picnics close to the lake

bobby always throws at least one of the kids in the water, before jumping in and splashing everyone. “bet you can’t do better than that, babe…” he says to you, raising his brows suggestively. “watch me, mckenzie.”

summer time and the lake became a tradition since it was the first place you and him spent a holiday alone

the employees that attend to you in hotels refer to you as “the mckenzie’s”

in the city, you have a trustworthy babysitter that will spend the night so you and bobby can have some time alone

he surprises you with dates and flowers out of nowhere

early nights are made for you and bobby to help the kids with homework

at this point, bobby is invited to be a special guest in cooking/baking competitions in the uk

and to have a “masterclass” of hiw own, where he mostly credits you for the idea of expanding, the execution of the administrative plans and how to actually expand a business. “i only do the cooking. she’s the genius behind the money.” he laughs while crossing his legs during his online course.

‘20 year mark’

kids’ sad times. graduations are happening. the youngest is entering third grade, the other one is in uni, far from home. “did you have to choose something so far from your old man?” “dad… of course! how else would i have a ‘paisley cuddle’ phase?” they respond, laughing. “i should’ve never told you thats story! now you’re having ideas!” “relax dad. everything is gonna be fine!” the middle one is entering high school and their rebellious phase.

bobby follows through with his part of the deal when you got married, by wearing something ridiculous to embarrass your kid at their graduation. “dad, you look like a hawaiian drug dealer.” “ i know,” “oh, so it wasn’t dark when you got dressed? mom!” “what can i say, your dad doesn’t care for blacks and blues.” “yeah, right…”

professionaly, bobby has a renowned signature dish, plenty of new ideas for the future, like school and courses.

the house is the same you bought five years ago, but now, it’s mostly parents getting together for barbecues, cocktails, movies and game nights

the younger children stay in the tv room upstairs

‘25 year mark’

your second child didn’t go to uni, and decided to help out on the family business. they always felt like this was the life for them and couldn’t wait to finish school to start.

bobby wanted them to go to school to learn everything they could “but dad, you didn’t, and you know so much.” “oof, they got you there, babe.”

you have a second wedding ceremony and a second honeymoon

bobby has a few grey hairs popping through his dreads

he’s still wearing colorful shirts and girls on social media call him ‘daddy’

he’s been invited to cook for the queen (yes, she’s still alive)

you see your friends a few times more a year now.

your third child is going to uni, to follow a career path you never imagined they would, but you’re proud of them

you decided to sell the house, that’s so big now, and find a smaller one that still has an extra bedroom for when your oldest comes to stay with their partner

bobby cracks dad jokes now, and according to gary, he picked them up from him “sure, gary, ‘cause you’re the only man on the planet who tells dad jokes” “stop bickering! you’re like an old married couple.” you say, slapping their arms playfully

‘30 year mark’

your first child just had their first child

“you’re a grandpa, bobs!” gary slaps him on the back, picking up a box of cigars that they will share with noah and ibrahim.

“can’t believe i’m this old.” “if you’re old, what am i?” you ask him, folding your arms on your chest. “beautiful?” he responds with a clear guilty expression.

‘things that would happen at all times during this entire journey’

bobby would sing to the kids every night

you would read them bedtime stories, taking turns to do the voices

it’s a tradition to cook together on special occasions, no matter what happens. the three kids, you and bobby would always spend the day listening to music, talking about life, slicing, sauteeing, mixing, measuring. it’s a tradition that will never die

when your grandkids come around, they will be the the ones resposible for measuring

drawings that your kids do in school akways have extra colors on bobby’s outfits. his name also has more than three colored letters

bobby has taught your kids how to play the guitar

rainy afternoons were known as “dad’s baking afternoons”

you and bobby had a hard time to find a compromise between being friends and parents.

open conversations with your kids, about everything. they knew what to expect in the world.

bobby’s parents would visit, to spend a whole weekend and share stories of his childhood, as yours would too

family vacation always had a ‘car trip and singing along to the radio’ type of tradition as well

your oldest now takes their child for family vacation in the same spot you and bobby used to

twice a year you guys rent a place for the family to have some bonding, even after they get married (or not)

“your dad is the finest pillow fort architect in the uk”

camping in the backyard when you had to cancel a trip

you’re in charge of coaching and playing sports in the back of the house while bobby relaxes under the sunlight “i was never very athletic”. he’s the empire

*these are the ones on the top of my head. i must’ve left dozens behind :/

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 14:

Holiday Playlist

Sold (Dance)

Leo was freezing, shivering in the car with the heated seat under his ass and heat blowing on him. He changed his pants from the ice soaked ones earlier and his ankles were sore from his skates but he was happy. He made a good impression on Logan’s sisters, his mom texted him to let him know the sale went through, and he watched Clay face plant on the ice.

All was well in the world.

He was smiling to himself as he leaned back into the heat of the seat with his arms hugging himself, teeth only chattering a little bit. He is listening to Logan chat with his sisters in the back in fairly fast French-Canadian French, he knows Finn is confused. But Leo is listening to him tap on the steering wheel to whatever song was playing in his head. The radio is off because Leo doesn’t want to overwhelm Finn with too much noise in a small confined place. He would be miserable the rest of the night.

They pull up to Pascal's house and the Trembly siblings are the first out of the vehicle, leaving Leo and Finn in the dust. Finn kisses Leo’s temple after shutting off the car.

“Ready?” Leo smiles and nods, he is honestly a little tired but he’s excited to get a little drunk and just relax with the team plus the team’s families.

Leo grabs onto the handle to push open the door when it is suddenly flung open and he topples out face first first into the ground. Hearing someone gasp from above him he rolls over to his back and blinks a few times.

“I think… I broke my teeth again.” Leo runs his tongue over his two front teeth and feels the chip in his tooth is suddenly much larger, but still less than half his tooth so he doesn’t really care.He has broken his teeth way worse before. Ma will get a kick out of it. “That's fun.”

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” Aubry is helping him sit up and is grabbing his still dazed face and looking it over to make sure he’s okay. She looks over to her left and sees Logan looking at her and she can feel the anger rolling off of him. His arms are crossed and his hands are gripping his arms, Sydney takes one look at Logan and steps back a couple of feet.

“Can you let go of my face?” Leo mumbles, causing her to look back at him and smile a little at his squished cheeks. “Also I break my teeth all the time, 90% of my front two teeth are fake so…” He shrugs and smiles at her. She lets go of his face and Finn helps Leo up.

“Again I’m sorry Leo!”

“I feel like I look like Jason Derulo after he tried eating corn off the cob with a power drill.” He laughs at himself as he looks in the side mirror of the car. Rolling his bottom jaw a bit, popping his neck from side to side, then rolling his shoulders. He notices a scrape on his chin and his cheek. “Not gonna lie, I kinda look rugged.”

“Let’s go inside, get you a drink and an ice pack, yeah?” Logan takes his hand and smiles up at him, taking note of his scrapes and his chipped tooth when he smiles back.

“Yes please!” They all make their way inside to find families just chatting on the couches in the living room, people drinking wine and eating little horderves that Celeste and Adele put together. Leo is led to the kitchen where the two chefs were.

“Oh Leo, did you fall on the ice after we left?” Celeste looks at him as she hands him an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel.

“Non, Aubry opened my door with me attached to it and I landed face first on the concrete. Broke my teeth some more but.” He shrugs and his nose scrunches as Logan dabs at his scrapes with a wet paper towel. “Okay! Okay! I’m Okay! OW!” Logan sighs at Leo’s dramatics and goes to throw the paper towel away.

“So you’re the man with the terrible singing.” Adele looks up at Leo from where she is cutting pinwheels. “I wondered if you were ever going to appear.”

“You don’t like my singing?” Leo smiles at her and she smiles back. “Wait, when have you heard my singing?” He absentmindedly starts helping her put pickles on sticks. He remembers catching a glance of her the first time he visited Pascals’ but he doesn’t remember singing when she was around.

“When Logan was really sad after Louisiana, he would only fall asleep to these videos of you singing in front of a fire pit. It was really annoying for a while.” Leo is silent for a moment, Adele looks up at him and notices how he is trying to keep his face blank but the frown lines are still ghosting. “He is better than ever now that you are with him and Finn though, he blabs about you two all the time.” That makes him smile a bit.

“No! Alex! Let go!” Leo and Adele turn around to see an older version of Finn keeping Logan in a headlock. Leo hides his smile by sucking in his lips and holding them between his teeth. “Ah!” Logan is suddenly on the ground with Alex laughing from above him, asshole kicked his feet out from under him. Glaring Logan takes his hand and gets helped up. “Jerk.”

“Hey! You can’t be mean to me or I’ll tell Finn.”

“He would be on my side!”

“He would laugh at you and give me a high five and you know it.” Logan thinks for a moment and then signs knowing Alex is right.

“Why do my boyfriend's siblings bully me?”

“Because we are family, shortstack.” Alex gets punched in the stomach for that nickname everytime. Yet he still calls Logan that any time he gets the chance. After a moment of catching his breath, Alex looks up to see Logan’s face buried into another man’s chest. He was tall and had a couple scrapes on his face but he looked young. Maybe in his early twenties. His hair was barely sticking out from under his.. Cowboy hat… he was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt… with cowboy boots. Who was this guy!? Does Finn know about him and Logan?

“Leooooo, I got some people I want you to meeeet!” Finn walks into the kitchen with his mother and Father trailing behind and bumps into Alex who is just staring at Leo like he's a ghost. “I promise he doesn’t always dress like that.” Taking a few steps towards his boys he gives Adele a fist bump and then leans his head on Leo’s shoulder. “Mom, Dad, this is Leo. The cowboy I have been talking about for…. A good year now. He is Logan and I’s boyfriend.” He smiles.

Leo feels his heart pick up a bit as the nerves of meeting parents that have authority makes him feel like he shouldn’t be there. He shakes the fathers hand after Logan goes to help Adele take out more tiny foods. He goes to shake Finn’s mother’s hand but is pulled into an aggressively tight hug that reminds him of his Mama’s hugs. He smiles and hugs her back. Already starting to feel at ease.

“I’m Alex.” Alex pats Leo on the shoulder.

“Leo, Finn talks a lot about you. He has your pictures up all around the apartment. I was convinced you two were twins for a while.” Leo smiles and continues to relax as Alex bursts out laughing.

“I’m not surprised, when we were younger people swore we were twins, and I think Finn would let people believe it when he was in elementary.” Alex ruffles Finn’s hair.

“So, Finn tells us you’re a Professional Bullrider. Correct?” Finn's dad looks to have the exact same face as his boys, same eyes as well. But he is much more tan and doesn’t have a single freckle that Leo can see, his hair is dark brown and curly, his eyebrows were so thick that Eliose would have the time of her life shaping them, his nose is also quite large and protrudes from his face with a little crook in the bridge making him subtly look like a bird.

“Yes, I do ride professionally. I actually leave in a couple of months to go travel the country to do it all again. My best friend Clayton ropes calves as well and my Mother was crowned Miss Rodeo when she was younger. So, it’s interesting when Finn tries to talk about rodeo stuff with us and he just has no idea. He’s getting better though.”

“I always had a dream of riding bulls or just being a cowboy in general but I’m from upstate New York! Not many cowboys there.” He laughs in the loud way most older fathers do and pats him on the shoulder just like Alex did. His smile was large and inviting, it reminded him of Finn.

“Country is Country wide, Sir. I have rode with people from New Hampshire and Massechusets. If you want I could teach you some things! I do train children in the two weeks before I leave to compete.”

“Don’t give him any ideas, he may be young at heart but his body is becoming old and crepid.” Finn’s parents share a kiss and it gives Leo’s heart a small painful yank. He can’t help but wonder if his parents would look that happy if his dad was still alive. He takes a sip of the Jack and Coke that Finn made him and swallows it along with his own self pity.

Now is not the time to mope.

He chats with Finn’s family some more until the doorbell rings. That would be his mother.

“Hello, who are you?” Pascal is looking directly into the sharp blue eyes of a woman who is either the same height as him… or taller. SHe is holding two milk crates, both filled with jars full of clear liquid. Odd. She is dressed in a tight red long sleeve shirt with a pair of dark wash jeans that flare at the bottom with matching red boots poking out from the jeans. Something flashes light into his eye and he notices the giant buckle on her belt.

“Oh excuse my manners! I’m Eloise Knut! My son Leo should be behaving here. This is Pascal’s house, yes?” She smiles and her teeth are so blindingly bright that Pascal has to look away.

“Oh yes of course come in.” He opens the door all the way and she struts in. Clayton was the first person to run up to her, Marc is on his back laughing loudly as they were just pretending Clay was a horse.

“Ma! It’s about time you show up! I’ll take this.” Clay has Marc hop off his back and takes the crates from Eloise, walking away lifting them over all the peoples heads who are sitting down or children.

“Ma! I want you to meet my brother. Sirius, this is Eloise. Eloise, this is Sirius.” Reg is looking between them with this excited glint in his eye, his two favorite adult figures in his life are meeting.

“Ravi de vous rencontrer.” Sirius shakes her hand and kisses her hand. Eloise smiles and pats his cheek.

“Si gentil de ta part.” Sirius smiles, cheeks turning a bit pink as she pinches them a bit. “You are just adorable! You and your brother have the most beautiful hair. I would love to just sit down and play with it all day.”

“Mama, stop hitting on Reg’s brother. Hit on his boyfriend instead.” Remus laughs from his spot next to Leo as they walk up with plates piled high with food. Leo’s vegetarian, Remus’ not. “I mean look at him, he is exactly your type! Short brownish hair, giant brown eyes, probably a bottom- Hey!” Remus swats at his plate of food to try and knock it over, making Leo barely have time to balance it out again.

“Leo, you’re gay. I thought you would have been better at seeing who is top, bottom, or a switch in relationships. It’s pretty obvious if you ask me.” Eloise smiles at Remus. “Since you have your hands full I will just give you a wave, Deary.” She waves at him. “I’m Eloise, Leo’s mother. I hope you haven’t heard anything bad about me, Leo likes to tell stories of when I was younger.”

“I can’t help it Mama, you were just so interesting!” Leo speaks with his mouth full and Reg, Remus and Elosie all give him a look.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full!” They all manage to say at the same time, catching Leo off guard. He laughs and swallows the food in his mouth.

“There are so many mothers around me. I’m going to see who Clay has rounded up to try the shine.” He stands up and leaves his plate on the little table in the middle of them, Reg grabs a few pieces of his food and eats them as he listens to Sirius and Remus talk about how they will be celebrating the holidays.

“I’ll go with you, I should probably meet the rest of the boys.” Eloise follows him into the kitchen to find Clay behind the kitchen island with two jars of moonshine in front of him, explaining to the team what it is. Leo walks over beside him and takes the lid off one and smells it.

“I think this one is watermelon.”

“Thanks for interrupting me. Anyway, moonshine is technically illegal because… honestly I don’t remember but we have been drinking it since we were like 13 I think.” Eloise walks up behind the two, reaching over them to grab the other jar, Clay and Leo move out of the way to let her in the middle.

“You two make me look like a terrible person, you know that? Letting my child drink moonshine at 13. I could get arrested.” She is examining the jar as the boys back track their statements about drinking so young even when they are still under the drinking age. She has a little half smile on her face when she looks through the clear liquid straight into a set of eyes that are staring right back.

Dark hazel eyes surrounded by the longest eyelashes she has ever seen. Dark smooth skin wrinkling around the eyes as this person smiles. Her mouth was very dry all the sudden, her stomach had a pit in it as well.

“Leo why don’t you let me have that, Y’all can keep all the rest.” She puts the jar she is holding down and takes the open one from Leo who was about to take a sip. She leaves the kitchen without another word. Clay and Leo share a confused look as they watch her leave.

Timmy follows a few minutes later.

The music played in the house after all these kids left to go spend the night at other houses, leaving the Dumias house open for adult activities like swearing. Leo, Reg and Clay had all moved the furniture around, with permission from Dumo and Celeste. There was just enough room for people to dance.

No one was really drunk persay but a couple swings of moonshine definitely got people tipsy. Elosie was talking with Ollie, Andrew, and Timmy. Who leo was keeping an extra close eye on, because he just felt like he should. He knows a lot of people find his mother attractive, that's why Eloise always wore her ring, to get people to back off, but she was almost… flirting back with Timmy.

It made Leo feel weird. Clay too.

Leo was staring at Eloise and Timmy when Sold (Grundy County Auction) came on over the bluetooth. He hears a gasp from behind him and sees Remus trying to get Sirius to dance with him.

“Re, I don’t know the dance.”

“It’s easy I promise!” Sirius gives his boyfriend a look and Remus sighs, giving up on trying to yank Sirius up off his chair . Leo walks over because he would also like to dance but his mom is flirting, Reg gets dizzy, his boys don’t know the dance, and Clay is laying across Thomas and Noelle on the couch a bit too drunk to really do anything but smile at them and twist Noelles hair around his finger.

“I know it, and all my dance partners are busy if you’d like to dance.” He smiles and nods his head when Sirius mouths ‘thank you’ in his direction. Remus hesitates for a moment.

“I only know how to follow really.”

“And you wanted me to dance!” Sirius tsks sarcastically and shakes his head leaning back in his chair so the two front legs were off the ground. Making sure there was something soft behind him, Re puts his foot under one of the chair legs and lifts up so Sirius falls backwards onto the pile of blankets that were thrown off the couch. “Re!”

“Well, I only know how to lead so that works out perfectly.” Leo takes Remus’ hand and leads him towards the group of dancing people on the wood floor of the living room. “Think there is enough space?”

“I think so, here.” Remus grabs his hands and they swing in a circle so people give them room. Leo just about trips over his own feet. Remus catches him while laughing, putting a hand on Leo’s shoulder and holding his other while Leo rests his free hand on Remus’ waist.

Spinning each other they are lost in the dance, not noticing the two or three people filming them. Sirius is just watching Remus move so smoothly, without a care in the world. His hair was long enough it swished with him, his laugh was loud and sweet. He didn't know how he didn’t get dizzy from dancing.

Finn was also watching them dance, as well as Logan. Finn was just enjoying his friend and Boyfriend dancing, Logan was too but a bit more… possessive. They all trust one another but Logan can’t help the little voice in the back of his head telling him to make sure Re knows Leo is theirs.

They finish the dance and just straight up sit on the floor to catch their breath, laughing a bit as people return to the dance floor. Eloise walks over to them and holds out a hand to each to help them up.

“Last Song! I want to go to bed!” Dumo announces as he turns the music down for a moment, he turns it back up before people can complain. Celeste was starting to put food away in to go containers and in tupperware to go in the fridge. Dumo walks over to help her but gets distracted when he hears someone drop a glass. He sighs and goes to help them, James, clean up.

“I am going to stay and help Celeste tonight and tomorrow morning. I will see you at the apartment and then we can go out for lunch.” Eloise smiles as Leo nods and lets her kiss his cheek. Leo and Remus make their way back over to their lovers.

“You were amazing!” Sirius hugs Remus, lifting him off the ground and smooching all over his slightly red face. “Where did you learn to dance like that?”

“My dad and mom used to go to swing classes when I was younger and my dad would always secretly practice with me so he could wow my mom.” He smiles, pushing Sirius’ hair out of his face and sighing happily. “Let’s go home, I’m tired.” Sirius and Reg follow Re out of the house a few minutes later, waving goodbye to the team.

The drive home in the uber was interesting, Leo and Logan were both sliding their hands up Finn’s thighs making his tispy brain only think about one thing. He watched those two whisper to each other before they left the house, Finn didn’t pay much attention, busy watching for the uber to pull up.

Once they enter the house Finn finds himself pinned against the door as soon as it is closed, Leo is kissing and nipping at his neck while Logan is reaching his hands under Finn’s shirt as he kisses him with maybe too much tongue. Finn lets himself be dragged into the feeling of their hands and lips on him.

“Tonight is all about you, sweetheart.” Leo whispers in his ear, Logan pulls away and tugs on Finn’s shirt towards the bedroom. Leo pats his butt to get him moving and follows the other two, stripping off his many layers and stretching his jaw a bit from his fall earlier.

“Hi, how are you?” Finn is pulled on top of Logan who has lost his clothes sometime in between the door of the room and the bed. He was beautiful; basically glowing from the yellow light of the lamp near the bed. Shadows and light contrasting on his tan skin make him look like a work of art. He can’t help but run his fingertips lightly over Logan’s chest and stomach. Smiling as the muscles move under his fingers, he feels a hand on his hand and two hands cupping his face making him look back up at Logan.

“I love you.” Logan pulls him down for a kiss as Finn feels Leo’s rough hands slide his shirt up, he pulls away just long enough to take his shirt off and then dives right back in for more kisses. Logan is very addictive, he lets Finn take over the kiss when he wants and other times he will take over the kiss just to annoy Finn into fucking him. Logan is giggling slightly as they kiss just because all this happiness is bubbling in his chest.

“I love you too, Lo.” He mumbles on Logan’s lips, feeling the bed dip behind him, Finn pulls away from Logan. Only after he is pulled into one last heated kiss that he can barely pull away from. Sitting up on his knees he turns his head to the side and has his lips met with another set of lips he loves.

Leo is almost always soft, besides his calloused hands, his skin is just perfect and makes Finn want to touch him always. He lightly nips at Leo’s lips, drawing a smile from the younger man. They pull away after a moment and Leo wraps his arms fully around Finn’s bare waist, resting his chin on Finn’s shoulder, humming a bit.

“I want to eat you out, is that okay? I mean your ass is so pale it looks like two marshmallows.” Logan snorts at Leo’s comment and flexes his legs from where they are resting on either side of Finn’s thighs, squishing Finn between them. Finn thinks about it for a moment, running his hand up and down Logan’s calf while Leo's hands run all over his torso.

“I don't know. Are you sure you want to? I mean, I just don’t want to find out I’m dirty or something… I also like never shave so… I don’t know.” He absent mindedly twirls a couple of Logan’s leg hairs together between his forefinger and thumb. Trying to ignore the feeling of an embarrassed blush that is creeping from his ears to his chest.

“Finn, you have eaten both of us out. Did you ever care if we were perfectly smooth or whatever else you are worried about?” Logan sits up, Looking him in the eyes. “We want to make you feel good, but if you don’t want to, that's okay too.” After a couple minutes of the three of them just existing together on the bed Finn starts nodding his head.

“Yeah, I want to try it. I think maybe once I get past feeling all jittery I will like it.” He kisses Leo and smiles at Logan. “I want to feel good like how I make you two feel.” He pushes Logan back onto his back and leans over him.

Leo helps Finn out of his shorts and, “Are these… my boxers?” Laughing as Finn nods, Leo also helps him slide off his boxers with fish on them. “You know Fish is a good nickname for you.” Leo starts kissing down his back.

“You named a fish after us and now you are naming me after a fish?” Finn starts to snicker but is cut off by the feeling of Leo licking over his entrance. His brows pinches together, his eyes close and he feels himself turn bright red.

“Hey” Logan kisses his cheek and nudges his cheek a bit with his nose, “Kiss me.” Finn doesn’t waste a second moving to have one hand holding him up by Logan's head and the other is gripping the back of his head with his fingers threaded into the long hair on Logan's neck. “Leo, you’re making him so red.” Logan mumbles on Finn’s lips.

Finn is losing himself in the feeling of Leo slowly opening himself up with his tongue, he knew this made his boys feel good but he didn’t expect it to make his legs shake. He has lost the ability to kiss Logan back because he is breathing so hard, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Every once in a while Finn feels Logan twitch and move under him.

Leo starts using his fingers alongside his tongue, Finn can’t help but rotate his hips in circles as the pleasure keeps flowing through his body. He feels like a soda bottle that hasn’t been opened, but has been shook. Everything was bubbling up and he felt like he was about to explode.

Leo pulls away when he feels Finn is ready. Looking at his boys, they both look blissed out. Leo notices one of Logan’s hands isn’t in sight, Finn is a complete mess. His hair is wild, his face is red, he is panting and looking more out of it than Leo has ever seen him.

“What do you want next?” Leo kisses up his back, nuzzling into the back of his neck and breathing in the smell that is strictly Finn.

“Leo, fuck me.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I get fucked too?” Logan is staring into Leo’s eyes with his pupils basically taking over his green eyes. Leo nods and leans over Finn’s shoulder to give Logan a quick kiss. Sitting back up, Finn follows his lead and sits up a few moments later. He gets handed the lube from where it is sitting next to Logan and covers his fingers. Logan grabs his hand and shakes his head.

“I already did it.” He smiles shyly at Finn who just blinks a few times.

“Loooogannnn! You know that’s like my favorite part!” Finn is pouting as he uses the lube on his hand to cover his cock. He is still mumbling his complaints as he starts to press in. He is already feeling everything more than normal, so his jaw goes slack and he pauses halfway. “Fucking Christ.” He leans down and presses his forehead to Logan’s as he pushes the rest of the way in. Their heavy breathing syncs up until Finn starts to pull out and push back in, just barely moving.

Leo is watching the whole thing, giving himself a few strokes to ease some pressure. He whispers the question to Finn who slows his thrusts to a stop. Leo slowly starts to press in and feels Finn suddenly tense up, Leo pauses and Finn lets out a noise that he knows like the back of his hand.

Finn just came. Logan moans loudly at the feeling of Finn cuming in him.

“Fuck! Finn~” Leo sees Logans hands grip Finn’s bareback digging his nails in.

“Leo- Please keep going.” Leo takes a deep breath to calm himself from just going to town on Finn. He pulls out and groans as Finn clenches around him. He presses his forehead to Finn’s sweaty back and listens to his plea to go deeper.

“Leo!” Logan calls out to him as his eyes start to roll back and his back arches, following Finn’s example from earlier and cumming between the two of them. Leo continues to fuck them as they moan his name, each others names, and grip one another as if they would lose them if they didn’t.

After finding the perfect rhythm, they all fall into a void of pleasure. Their bodies moving on their own, their voices becoming hoarse from moaning, lips raw from stolen kisses. Everything was perfectly balanced.

Logan suddenly breaks the atmosphere by falling off the edge again. He jerks himself through his orgasm and loses his voice as his vocal cords become taunt. Once the fog in his head dissipates he looks up at his boys.

“Can I watch you two?” The raspiness of his own voice catches him off guard, he clears his throat before Leo pulls out of Finn and Finn pulls out of Logan. Leo is holding Finn up as he has slumped back into Leo’s chest. They rearrange, Logan is laying on his side next to Finn who is lying on his back. Leo is between Finn’s legs and moves them so one is wrapped around his hip and the other is out to the side. With Logan wanting to still do something, he holds the leg that is out to the side and sits up to watch as Leo pushes back into Finn. His eyes wanted to watch where they met and Finn’s face at the same time.

Logan knows that Leo’s eyes when he is fucking is one of the most intense things he has ever seen, Finn tries to look Leo in the eyes but ends up turning his head to meet Logan’s.

Logan's eyes are soft and blown out, beautiful green, calming yet wild. Logan is just a walking oxymoron. He was everything. Finn looks back at Leo who is watching them look at each other. He hits Finn’s prostate just right and Finn cums again as he cups Leo’s face and stares into his eyes.

Leo swallows as he starts to slow down. Finn is still looking into his eyes, Leo kisses him passionately. Teeth and tongue are the main part of the kiss. Finn wraps his arms around Leo’s neck and his legs around his waist, pulling Leo in deeper to him. Leo gets the hint and keeps fucking him.

Finn holds on for dear life as he is fucked into the mattress. He is sensitive from earlier so it doesn’t take long to get him over the edge again. Leo is just about to cum when he pulls out as Finn’s limbs flop to the sides of him, hitting Logan on accident, Leo pulls out. Remembering that Finn doesn’t like the feeling of cum in him. So he jerks himself a few times before he cums all over Finn’s chest and stomach. Mixing with his own mess.

Logan being the impatient boy he is… Fully shoves Leo out of the way, placing two hands on his chest and shoving Leo out of the way. Not meaning to fully knock him off the bed but he does. Logan is between Finn’s legs and licks up his stomach and chest, right through the mess. Taking Finn by surprise he shoves his tongue down his throat.

Leo stands up, watching them making out with the mess and feeling himself start to get turned on again. They pull away and look at him, the softest and sleepiest smiles on their faces.

He loves them.

[housewarningparty]

7 for LiS, ship of your choice.

god i went through like 3 drafts of this bc i’ve got a lot to say about trust as a theme in my lis ships, i guess. in the interest of finishing something in one sitting, i went w something simple.

“Just trust me,” Chloe says, fingers brushing the underside of Max’s wrist as she withdraws her grip.

“I’m just,” Max can keep the tremble out of her hands (for now) but not quite her voice. She cuts herself off with a sharp breath, counts a beat in her head, then two, then three and let’s herself continue, steadier. “I don’t wanna mess up. Or-or hurt you...”

“You won’t. Max, this isn’t, like, my first time.”

“It’s not?” This is news to Max, who had never exactly pictured Chloe having done this, like, a lot.

“No. I mean, the first time, I did it myself. And then, later, Rachel...”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I’ll show you pictures later. But, like, point is, you can totally do this.”

“Yeah, Max,” Rachel pipes up through a mouthful of smoke someplace behind them. Max twists around to see her sprawled languidly on the floor, one hand propping up her head, the other holding a joint to her lips. She smiles that lazy, hungry smile that turns Max’s stomach to butterflies, and nods toward them. “I already got her like, 90% of the way there. You just need to finish her off.”

At this, Max blushes again, all the way up to her ears and turns back to Chloe, who flashes her a grin.

It’s not like Rachel watching makes this any easier. Especially not now, not knowing that she and Chloe have already done this before. That Rachel and Chloe are both going to be able to tell if she’s doing it wrong, if she fucks it up.

“Max,” Chloe says, voice low, pitched just for her.

When she meets Chloe’s eyes this time, they’re bright and full of love, that sharp twist of her mouth has faded to something gentler, more tender. 

“Look, you don’t have to,” Chloe says, soft and Max knows she means it. ”I didn’t think it’d freak you out and--”

“No, it’s okay,” Max says, tightening her grip on the handle of the device, adjusting the angle of her hand. She slides the power button on with her thumb and the buzzing in her hand matches the buzzing of her nerves. But Rachel’s eyes on her back are warm and confident. And Chloe’s shoulder under the palm of her other hand is familiar, a little sweat-damp, totally relaxed.

The first pass of the clippers shears off a wide swath of light brown hair. Logically, Max knew this would happen, but she can’t help the way she yelps and jumps back a little.

Chloe laughs and swipes an arm out behind her until she grabs first Max’s ass, then her hip, and drags her back closer. “Max, relax, it’s literally impossible to fuck up a buzz cut.”

“You say that, but what if I’m the first?” Max mutters, letting out a deep sigh and gamely sliding closer to Chloe, who squeezes her hip again in response. “Stop squirming.”

“Stop sliding away from me,” Chloe says, still facing away but Max can hear the pout in her voice.

“Shut up,” Max says, leaning her whole body into Chloe’s back, taking momentary advantage of her height advantage while Chloe sits on a stool in her backyard, to press a wet kiss to the side of Chloe’s head.

It relaxes them both. Chloe settles back into her seat, hands folded obediently in her lap and Max resumes her work the the clippers, more prepared for the results on her next pass.

It’s nice out, still early enough to not be too hot, but late enough for the neighborhood to feel alive. There’s birds chirping, and, down the street, the sound of kids playing in their yards, the distant spurt of lawn sprinklers, and the low hum of calm traffic.

The world gets smaller. Just this backyard that she spent half her childhood in. Just Rachel on a beach towel on the concrete behind them, sunning herself and humming along to a Jane’s Addiction song on the radio. Just the clippers in her hand, Chloe’s head rolling pliantly on her neck when Max tips her this way and that with the gentlest suggestion of her fingers. The bead of sweat that rolls down the side of her neck that Max surprises herself by wanting to lean forward and catch with her tongue. 

It doesn’t take all that long before she’s done. Rachel had done the work of cutting Chloe’s hair short with scissors before passing the clippers to Max and asking her to finish the job. Max slides the power off on the clippers and finds herself almost disappointed to end the peaceful limbo they’d drifted into. Feels herself suddenly sentimental about the surprising tenderness of the moment, this new way for Chloe to put herself into Max’s hands and say: I’m yours, I know you’ll take care of me.

Max sets the clippers down, grabs a clean washrag from the pile they’d brought out and tips about half of her water bottle onto it. She doesn’t rush, dragging the wet terry cloth across Chloe’s scalp and neck, cleaning up the stray hairs that have fallen.

Chloe shivers and makes that little sound in her throat that Max loves, that one that’s almost like a purr, leaning back into Max’s touch. “Feels good.”

And this time Max doesn’t stop herself, drapes the washrag over Chloe’s shoulder and leans forward, wraps her arms around Chloe’s front and dips her head to kiss Chloe’s neck, her jaw.

Chloe’s hand immediately cups the back of Max’s head, weaving fingers through her hair, tugging just a little. Encouraging.

And it’s an awkward angle but Max pulls back, tilts Chloe’s face to hers and meets her halfway.

Chloe’s kiss is bright, brilliant sunlight. It’s summer, warm and open, on Max’s lips and under the pads of her fingers.

It’s the smell of chlorine and fresh cut grass and the buzz of hair clippers and the chime of a distant ice cream truck and waves of heat rolling off the pavement and days so long and wide open they feel endless.

Max pulls back, lets Chloe swivel in place until she’s dragging Max down into her lap, kissing the laughter right out of her mouth. Max runs her hands through the short prickly hair along Chloe’s scalp. “Wow.”

“Wow,” Chloe grins, kissing her again, hungry.

“I did that,” Max murmurs, fascinated with the sensation of Chloe’s shorn hair against the skin of her palms. “I can see your ears.”

She drags her fingers down the shell of Chloe’s ear, to toy with the lobes gently, delighting in Chloe’s answering shiver, the renewed eagerness of her kiss at the sensation.

“Not so bad, huh?” Chloe mumbles into Max’s mouth and then pulls back to grin again. “How do I look?”

“Not bad at all,” Max agrees, cupping Chloe’s head again. “You look good, Chloe. Beautiful.”

There’s something shyer, sweeter in Chloe’s next kiss. Max is grateful to receive it, teases it out gently between them. The sun beats down, rays falling into them, and Max knows that together under skies like these they will grow and grow and grow.

[artificialqueens]

I'm Not Into Sometimes, Chapter 1 (Rosnali) - SnowBun

A/N: After who knows how long, I am finally writing again. A true shocker. This one will be about 5-8 chapters long (again, who knows? I’m just winging it) with much emotion. Hope you guys are all well during this difficult time xx

For me, because self-love is admitting that you’re suffering through the writing process for your own pleasure.

Summary: Denali goes viral on the internet and is hired to choreograph for Rosè.

–

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since Denali posted the video of her choreography to 100% Pure Love. Two weeks since she posted a video of her spilling all the passion in her cup on the dance studio floor. Two weeks since the world has watched and decided to give her five minutes of fame.

At first, it was validation. She thought that her existing followers and a few other people would see the video and think, “Denali’s fucking Talented with a capital T.” It was the way every other video she had posted had gone down. She knew the video was above even her standards, but the larger than usual wave of gratification didn’t feel like anything special.

But then Monet X Change jumped into the party, sharing the video and telling her millions of followers that she was one of the best choreographers and dancers she’d ever seen. That’s when she knew this one was different. This was more than validation; this was the world suddenly turning its head to put its eye on her.

Yet, she thinks that two weeks might have been the limit. She’s posted more content to keep people interested, but nothing has quite captured people’s attention like that first video. The stream of DMs, comments and views have been decreasing and she thinks, “Well, I just have to keep trying.”

But here she is, sitting at her desk job, feeling utterly fucking useless. She’s staring at a screen when her heart is all the way on the other side of the city, its thump, thump, thump beating along to the rhythm of music.

She’s aware of the student loans that beg to be paid each month, but every breath is a punch of anxiety to the stomach. Inhales of whispers saying, “Look where your passion has gotten you.” She chokes on the air, leaving her lightheaded and powerless.

Her phone lights up. “There goes another one.” She thinks to herself as she swipes to open Instagram. If she follows the pattern of the last two weeks, it’s either a new fan complimenting her or a dipshit asking for her nudes. Oh, the sad reality of virality.

But she stares at the bright blue check mark beside the username. She thinks it’s staring back, laughing and saying, “Look at your face, priceless!”

“Hi Denali!” It reads. “I’m Tamisha Iman from Iman Entertainment. I’ve been loving your videos and I wanted to reach out with an opportunity to choreograph some projects. Here’s my email so we can discuss details. Hope to hear from you soon!”

Her brain can barely register the words on the screen, but she knows that there’s only one thing left to do. She knows that the last few months of working her ass off as a part-time choreographer have led up to this moment.

She walks away from her desk, the sound of her pumps on the floor echoing in the aisles of the bland beige office. She hears the receptionist say something about him being on a call, but she doesn’t even stop to take a breath before swinging the door open. She’s face-to-face with her boss, a man who probably doesn’t even know her name, with a smile and a look in her eyes that’s almost delirious.

“I quit.”

—

On her way home, she realizes that she’s an idiot.

“You’re so stupid!” She says to herself as she swings open her apartment door. She hasn’t even replied to Tamisha and she’s already indulging spontaneous moments of catharsis over security. What if she found someone else in the span of an hour? The woman was in the business long enough to know someone just as good with far more experience. That last thought threatens to send her into a spiral, so she pulls out her phone and rushes to email a reply.

“Thank you so much for thinking of me, Ms. Iman! Really glad you liked the video. Could I have some details about this opportunity? I would love to work with you on any upcoming projects.”

For a moment, her thumb hovers over the send button. She takes a snapshot of this moment in her head. “This is it,” She thinks to herself. “This is where it all starts, Denali.”

She presses send and lets out a long exhale.

—

Three days.

It’s been three goddamn days since she quit her job and emailed her reply. It’s been three days of complete and utter suffering as the receiver of radio silence. The first evening, she had remained wonderfully calm in the fact that it was too soon. The second evening was more hellish, each notification popping up on her phone looking more and more like mockery. This third evening was the worst of them all, leading her to wallow in the idea that she had prematurely quit her stable job for an opportunity that she had never been promised.

“Denali, you can’t just stay there.” Kahmora says from the kitchen, her tone soft and understanding.

She knows her roommate is right. She knows that she has to get up and face the music. She knows that her only two options right now are to God forbid, crawl back to her old job or call every single one of her contacts to stock up on gigs; but there it goes again, that little voice in her head that won’t quit, that stupid tiny voice that gives her hope that maybe, just maybe, tonight is the night she’ll get a reply.

She clutches the phone in her hand like the rosary from her all-girls Catholic school days. Every time she thinks about letting it go is accompanied by a sense of hope, faded like the old pictures her mother left in the attic at home.

Kahmora sits beside her and she leans on her friend, willing herself not to burst into tears. “You’re not any less amazing, you know.” She reminds her as she strokes her fine, blonde hair. “Maybe this opportunity just wasn’t meant to work out.”

It doesn’t take a philosophical genius to know that Kahmora is right. She’ll lay awake tonight and replay the words in her head like a mantra straight out of one of those self-help tapes they used to use on smokers in the 90s; but damn, did it sting like a bitch.

The phone comes alive in her hand, a notification glaring at her through the screen. She swipes so fast that she thinks she might have just broken some world record. As she rushes to check what it is, she prays to whatever higher power that is out there that this was it, that the snapshot in her head wasn’t for nothing.

Her eyes dart across the screen, expression the very picture of stunned. She turns her head to look at Kahmora, staring at her with anticipation.

“What is it?”

“I’m choreographing Rosé’s new music video.”

—

For a week, Denali lived, ate and breathed making the choreography for Phenomenon. Every waking moment was spent perfecting the moves. She made sure that every jut, pivot and turn was sharp and purposeful. She wanted to make sure that there was no doubt in Rosé’s mind that she wasn’t just a ten-minute internet sensation, but a damn good choreographer.

Part of that job description was to study Rosé’s movements in her past music videos. She had heard the singer’s voice everywhere (who hadn’t, really,) so there was no denying her incredible vocal talent. However, watching her move was just as breathtaking. She was a spectacular performer with a beautiful toned body, so unlike what she was used to seeing for other artists.

After Kahmora had dropped her off and she’d promised to return in three weeks in one piece, she boarded the plane with a ticket Tamisha had bought for her. Even with all the comforts of business class, she could not bring herself to settle. Anxiety-inducing questions popped up in her head and she did her best to swat them away like flies.

“What if she thinks I’m just that girl from the internet?”

“What if she hates the choreo?”

“What if we don’t get along at all and I get blackballed?”

By the time she gets into the car that Tamisha had sent to pick her up from the airport, her thoughts have swirled and mixed, creating a dangerous cocktail of nerves that settles in the pit of her stomach.

As the car stops in front of the Iman Management Agency office, she settles for a nice deep breath. “You’re going for the gold, Denali.” She whispers to herself.

When she swings the door open and quickly lets her eyes roam, she comes to the disappointing realization that Rosé is nowhere in sight. For a week, she’d hyped herself up to make a good first impression.

The disappointment is quelled when Tamisha Iman stands up from her desk. She is nothing short of glamorous, with her gorgeous dark hair and tailored suit. Her smile is warm and inviting, and she almost forgets that the very thought of this moment would have made her throw up a few days ago.

“Denali!” She beams, walking over to shake hands. “So nice to meet you, I’m Tamisha. I gotta say, I thought I had seen everything after 30 years in the business; but I’ve never seen anyone move quite like you do.”

“That’s so nice of you to say, thank you.” Denali replies appreciatively, albeit somewhat shyly. “That video popped off so unexpectedly. I’m really glad you liked it.”

“Oh, who wouldn’t?” Tamisha gestures for her to take a seat in front of her desk. As she moves, Denali notes the utmost grace and poise that she carries herself with. With all her experience, she expected nothing less than this type of professionalism. “I see someone move like that and I know that they have what it takes to work with my talent.”

“Speaking of which,” She starts hesitantly. “I was hoping to meet Rosé. You know, get to know her and be comfortable before we start working.”

For a moment, Denali senses an exasperation when Tamisha sighs; but then, she just smiles apologetically. “I’m really sorry, but you’ll have to wait until your first session tomorrow. She’s really throwing herself into finishing this album, so she couldn’t make much time in her schedule.”

At first, she feels disheartened. It’s a mixture of, “Am I not worth meeting?” and the excitement of finally meeting the woman whose talents she’d been studying for a wholeass week; but then, the disappointment gives way to more anticipation. Meeting her in the studio means meeting her in her wheelhouse. There was no way, shape or form that she could disappoint anyone in her area of expertise.

“No worries, Ms. Iman. I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

—

Denali expects that she’s going to wake up with a headache that feels like her brain is in a meat grinder when she gets up the next morning from a restless night; but it’s only 5:30 and she knows that the idea of today, the culmination of a lifelong dream, is far too thrilling for her to have no energy.

She swings her legs out of bed quickly, not giving herself too much time to think. She knows that the studio is barely five minutes away from the hotel and that the call time is 7:00, but if she sits still too long, she knows she’ll concoct another dangerous cocktail of anxiety and insomnia. If possible, she’d like to avoid that.

She steps into the shower and lets herself breathe deeply, relishing in the way the lungs fill with air and her muscles contract. She focuses on her senses and lets it flood her head. Better that than a doom scenario her mind will inevitably come up with.

She puts on her leggings and a sweater over her mesh top to protect herself from the chill of New York air. For the shortest moment, she allows herself to stare at her reflection and hype herself up.

“Move aside world, it’s your girl, Denali.”

When she gets to the studio, it’s predictably empty. It looks little like the studio she went to in Chicago. All the walls are a deep cool grey instead of the white walls with a brick accent that she’s used to. The floor is a much darker shade of brown too; but even then, she is reminded of home. This little box is where her love lies and she feels safe.

She checks her phone and sees that it’s only 6:40. “Huh.” She says to the empty air. She walks towards the mirror at the front of the room, the click of her heels echoing against the four walls.

“Might as well.” She says to herself as she sticks her phone in the dock. She chooses 100% Pure Love and starts swaying along to the music. If she’s honest, she hasn’t fully listened to the song since she recorded that fateful video; but when the music hits, her body remembers the movement. She watches herself in the mirror, the planes of her body shifting in fluid motions. She can see her body come alive, marrying freedom with control and she remembers then why the feeling is unparalleled.

Right as the song finishes, she hears another set of heels tapping against the floorboards. She sees someone come into view through the mirror. She spins as gracefully as she can to greet her, but her brain suddenly stops working.

Rosé is special and she knows it right away. She is somehow exactly the same but completely different from what she had expected. She sees the same face, sternly set jaw and amazing body that she had seen on a screen. The fact that she looks just as good in person leaves her completely dazed.

“Hi.”

Denali shakes her head, laughing lightly to hide that she’d been staring like an idiot. “Sorry, I just got a bit surprised.” She walks over, hand extended. “I’m Denali, the choreographer.”

“Rosé.” Her lips are pressed into a tight-lipped smile as she shakes Denali’s hand. The response is verging on cold, but it’s nothing for her to cry home about. She wasn’t so naïve as to think that this would become a ‘I’ll be your new best friend’ type of situation.

An awkward silence falls over them and Rosé refuses to look away. She feels like she’s being studied and she thinks her skin might start to itch from the discomfort. “So uhm,” She claps her hands together. “Let’s get straight into it?”

“Sure.”

Denali squats down to change the track as Rosé drops her bag in a corner of the room. “I’ll show you the choreography first, then we’ll go off from there. Sound good?” She called over her shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Rosé replied as she sat at the side of the room.

Denali stands to the back of the room, staring at her reflection and willing herself to ignore the head of pale pink hair to the side. She marches forward, all attitude and spice, forever thinking of how to make every single moment an amazing performance, no matter the audience. As she sees herself dance, she realizes just how proud she is. This choreography is one of her best and she knows it.

She ends with her arm straight out and pointing at the mirror. She catches her breath, realizing that she’d been holding it. Her eyes move to Rosé who, apart from slightly raised eyebrows, is expressionless. She tries her best not to feel offended. She’s this proud of her work and she can’t even get a smile?

“So, what do you think?” She asks, hoping for a comment, quip, any response that could validate her work.

“It was good but,” Rosé pushes herself up and stands next to her. In the blink of an eye, there’s a shift. She becomes fully immersed in the work, nothing short of absolutely serious and a picture-perfect professional. “That part right before I enter the second verse. I was hoping for something like…”

She goes to the back of the room and spins to the front, a flurry of cotton candy clouds sweeping through the studio. Denali feels dizzy, but she can’t deny that Rosé looks fantastic doing the move and, to her chagrin, it does suit the music more. Even then, there’s an ache that comes with admitting it.

“Yeah, I think we can make that work.” She looks at Rosé and their eyes meet. It feels like too much, like sinking into a hole in the ground because holy shit, she can see straight through me. She’s never seen eyes quite like that before.

“Okay!” She exclaims quickly, giving herself an excuse to look away. “Let’s start from the top.”

The next two hours pass fairly quickly. By how quickly Rosé catches on and the number of edits that she makes to the choreography, she can tell that she’s had some type of professional training. The idea of that leaves her intrigued, but it’s overshadowed by her dejection. She’s a spectacular student, but the detached responses and almost too professional attitude leave Denali thirsty for some kind of gratification.

By the end of the session, Rosé has learned at least half of the choreography and Denali can’t deny that she’s impressed that she could keep up. She turns to look at her and is surprised to see her smiling for the first time. It lights up her whole face, even those damn eyes that she can’t bear to look at.

“Oh God, that was great!” She exclaims and it reminds Denali of a child after getting off a rollercoaster. “This is going to be my best video yet.”

Denali smiles back, finally relaxing after getting a hit of that delayed validation. “I think so too.” She agrees, looking down at her feet. “I mean, your work is fantastic and it’s honestly such an honor to do this with you.”

Rosé laughs and she decides that she likes the sound. It’s not the tinkling of windchimes on her mother’s porch. It reminds her of the beat of music when it moves through her. It’s deep, genuine and comforting, pulling at the rope bundled up into knots in her stomach.

“Are you kidding, Denali?” She says in disbelief. “Your choreography for this has been so good and I could not have asked for someone better to work with.”

She lets herself look into her eyes, now so full of joy and warmth. It feels like a different person, but she knows that it’s just two sides to the same coin. There’s something about the blurred line between the professional student she had just taught and the sincere woman speaking to her that blows her mind.

“Not gonna lie, that makes me feel really relieved.” She admits, pretending to wipe sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. Rosé laughs again and she has to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling too wide.

Rosé’s phone suddenly rings and she runs over her to her bag to check it. She groans and turns to Denali, looking irritated for a reason she can’t quite place. “Shit, I should get going.” She picks up her things and smiles again. “It was nice to meet you, Denali.”

“You too, Rosé.”

The singer is walking away when she stops in the doorway. She turns around and gives her a wink, so private and secret that she thinks it might be hiding from the glare of the sun streaming in through the windows.

“See you tomorrow.”

When she hears the door close, Denali all but collapses onto the ground, folding her legs under her and sighing deeply.

“Well, fuck.”

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Hyde Park in London, UK - September 18, 1976 (Part-1)

An interesting bit about the Hyde Park gig (thanks to Jane Palm-Gold): "The white boiler suit Fred wore coming onstage was especially chosen by him so that he could be seen from miles away (because white stands out at a distance) and even better (and this is great but you have to know this place really - a London landmark for many years) it was acquired at Lawrence Corner at Euston (!), a tatty second hand clothes /hire place where a lot of clothes /outfits were hired from for band promo shoots - for instance they had a lot of military stuff there."

(x)

After the success of A Night At The Opera (and not to mention how the weekly Sounds readers' poll elected the band #1 in the best album, best single, and best band categories), Queen wanted to pay the British fans back for back their loyalty and support over the last few years. Whilst in Japan earlier in the year, they came up with the idea to stage a massive free concert. With the help of record industry entrepreneur Richard Branson (creator of Virgin Records/megastores) they started making plans for the Hyde Park show, which turned into a mini tour along with the Edinburgh and Cardiff shows. It is estimated that between 150-200 thousand people turned up at Hyde Park, which is still a record for the venue to this day. This show cemented their position in the top bracket of rock bands. The stage used was the same stage that was constructed for the Rolling Stones concert at the Knebworth Fair a few weeks earlier. 

Queen's first huge show at home brought certain areas of London to a grinding halt, and space on public transportation was at a premium. The concert took place on the anniversary of Jimi Hendrix's death. A banner hung from a tree that read "Hendrix Lives," and at one point in the show Brian May noticed it with much appreciation. The band are seen in the photos above arriving at the venue, where they were joined backstage by Pink Floyd's Roger Waters. Supercharge, Steve Hillage, Rufus, and Kiki Dee (along with a cardboard cut-out of Elton John, who couldn't make it to join her for Don't Go Breaking My Heart) played before Queen (Be-Bop Deluxe and John Miles were supposed to be on the bill as well, but were axed for some reason). A pro-shot video of Steve Hillage's performance exists as well as Queen's. There was a fight in the audience during Hillage's set, during which he played extended trippy versions of It's All Too Much by The Beatles and Hurdy Gurdy Man by Donovan. Also notable is Supercharge's singer Albie Donnelly parodying Freddie Mercury in a white leotard and a half mic stand. The first half of the A Day At The Races overture is aired publicly for the first time (the upcoming album had been partially recorded by this point). The usual Bohemian Rhapsody opening sequence then commences for the last time. The band make their entrance, and everybody near the stage stands up (the audience had been seated on the grass for the opening acts). This angers many fans who are further back (roughly 90% of the audience now cannot see the stage), so they start lobbing cans, bottles, or whatever else that can be thrown. After a few songs, Freddie asks everyone simply to calm down: "I have been requested by the constabulary for you not to throw little things around, tin cans or whatever. So make this a peaceful event, ok? Sit on your arses and listen." Brian, after his solo spot in Brighton Rock (he stutters a bit, revealing that he's still nervous): “From one piece of nonsense to another, I’ve said it before. This is something we wanted to do with the London Philharmonic but they didn’t show up, so we will do the ethnic version of a song called '39." He is seen in a dazzling new outfit tonight, which he'd wear every night through Japan 1979. It would become the outfit he'd change into during the opera section of Bohemian Rhapsody. "Clap along and stuff," he urges the audience, as he plays the intro of what he'd later describe as the first song about Einstein's general theory of relativity. After '39, Freddie audaciously performs the as-of-yet unreleased You Take My Breath Away alone on the piano, even hitting many of the falsetto notes that he'd excise in 1977 versions. He then gets cheeky and introduces The Prophet's Song as "a little shorter number from our album A Night At The Opera." Perhaps he still had You Take My Breath Away in his head, as he begins the a cappella section with what would become the first line of the A Day At The Races ballad instead of the usual "oh, people can you hear me?" bit. He also references Death On Two Legs, as he had done a few times earlier in the year. After Stone Cold Crazy, the band play Keep Yourself Alive and Liar, having dropped Doing All Right and Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon from the set. The combination of these three heavy numbers would prove to be very effective, and they would stick with it for their following North American tour. Liar is a great version, with many great Mercuryisms throughout. Before the last song, Brian coyly says, "This is In The Lap Of The Gods, or something like that." The band play a similar set to the ones they did in Edinburgh and Cardiff, except they drop Doing All Right, Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon and Tie Your Mother Down. They intended to perform their usual encore of Big Spender and Jailhouse Rock, but the show had run a half hour past its scheduled ending time (a curfew strictly enforced by the authorities). The police threatened to arrest the band if they went back on stage, and Freddie was later quoted saying how he would prefer not to be stuck in a jail cell in his leotard. And so, Bob Harris was left with the unenviable task of announcing to the crowd that the show was over. He later recalled how difficult and nerve-wracking it was to tell an audience of this size who had waited for about ten hours that there would be no encore. Now I'm Here was the first encore every night around this time, making this the one time between 1974 and 1986 where the song is not performed. The liner notes of Live Killers suggest that Now I'm Here was dropped from the set for a while, but that is patently untrue. People in one section of the audience chanted "Why are we waiting," all in good fun, knowing full well the show was over. The police soon turned off the main power feed to the park, forcing hundreds of thousands of people to make their way out in sheer darkness. Their reasoning was that it was the only way to "control" such a large number of people who had been rowdy throughout the day. In a 1977 interview with Capital Radio, Brian recalls the day: "It had a great sunny day for it, and everyone had a good time. There were still altercations on the day, and there was a big thing with the powers that be because they wouldn't let us go on and do the encore, about which we were very upset, having worked up for months and prepared for all that. They got very frightened because there were 150,000 people in Hyde Park in the dark, and they thought they were going to get out of hand. But in fact, there was no possible danger happening at all. Everyone was peaceful and having a good time."

This show is what epitomized their popularity in Britain, and when they felt they "had really made it," as Brian would later recall. On another occasion he said, "I think that Hyde Park was one of the most significant gigs in our career. There was a great affection because we'd kind of made it in a lot of countries by that time, but England was still, you know, we weren't really sure if we were really acceptable here. So it was a wonderful feeling to come back and see that crowd and get that response." Despite the fact that the audience had been there all day watching the various opening acts and waiting, the band delayed the show as long as possible just so it could get dark enough for their lighting and various other effects to make their full impact (as demanded by Freddie). Throughout the show, the band's nervousness and excitement for the occasion are evident. Most of the audience couldn't see a thing during Queen's set, since the stage was barely elevated. "The smell of the dry ice and the sound are the only sensory memories I have of this show," recalls Jane Palm-Gold. Here is an article from the day of the show, 

and a review from a week later (both were submitted by Boris Arkhangelsky).

Tonight would be the final performances of Flick Of The Wrist, Son And Daughter, and the (almost) full The Prophet's Song. A snippet of The March Of The Black Queen would be performed only once more in 1978, but a different part of the song.

Here is  a Virgin Records flyer.

The second pic is the famous overhead shot that appeared in the October 9, 1976 Melody Maker. Pic 5 was submitted by Janneman,  and pics 6 and 7 were submitted by Lukáš Bosík.

Fan Stories

“Well, I was 13 years old and had got into Queen through Night At The Opera and THAT video. I'd never been to a gig before and it took a lot of convincing of a sceptical mother to let me go to Hyde Park on my own. After answering the inevitable "no, I won't talk to strange men mum" questions I was allowed to go. The morning came and I was up at 6am, got my packed lunch together (can you imagine going off to a gig now with your sandwiches and orange juice!) and headed off to Hyde Park. I remember getting there so early that I was right by the crash barriers at the front and determined to try and hold my spot all day. As the day progeressed however I ended upmoving backwards slowly as people pushed in. I can remember savouring the whole build up, the support bands, everything. As dusk started to fall, the stage went dark and the dry ice started up. I broke my mums don't talk to strangers bit and a very nice bloke put me up on his shoulders so I could see them come on. I just remember the crash of light and sound as they came on as if it was yesterday (and not 27 years ago!). The rest of the gig was amazing and that was it, I was hooked on Queen and rock music. I saw Queen on every tour they ever did in England (and a few in Europe) after that but nothing compares to that first gig for me.” 

- Andy

Part-2

Part-3

[homosexualadventure]

every single lmam song, ranked.

i just finished listening to let’s make a music for the first time, and Oh My God it rocks. it’s a great podcast and if you’re reading this without having listened to it...i don’t know what to tell you. i don’t know what you think lmam means. but, that aside, if you haven’t listened to it yet: go listen to it! it’s not a crazy long podcast, overall or episode length-wise, so it’s manageable even for people who usually can’t handle podcasts (like me!) anyways, now that it’s over, what’s left for me to do with my time and energy that i used to spend thinking about lmam?

listen to the episodes again so that i can rank all fourty-one songs from worst to best, of course. so that’s exactly what i did.

i mostly ranked these on my gut feeling, because i didn’t come up with the idea of ranking it on a set of points before like...five minutes ago. there’s a bit of personal bias in here, so if you disagree with me on rankings, hey! send me an ask, or a dm. we can talk about it. 

so, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it! let’s...make a ranking. haha. that’s just a fun little lmam joke for you. 

41. the roquefort stank

this song only gets points for laura’s stanky noises in the background. i love laura.

40. shan’t he shanty

weirdly catchy. for a sea shanty, that is. that’s all i have to say.

39. well, i’m on child...

i do love a good gay song about polyamory but it just wasn’t enough in this case. truly heartbreaking. 

38. dog trash

i’m not a big fan of polka in general. that’s all i have to say. i don’t have to explain all my decisions. this is my journey. and it’s your journey that you’re taking with me.

37. echoes of wednesday

it’s not my favorite but i do think it’s sweet and i like all the laura vocals. also the zuko vocals. 

36. brothers in legs

not their best character song but it’s still a song you could quietly headbang to. i just don’t love full story ballads (there is an exception to this, you’ll see) most of the time. 

35. ol’ tim’s tricks

i’m not saying it’s a bad song, i’m just saying it sounds like it was once in a made for tv disney channel-esque movie about a girl who finds her calling in sports and friendship.

34. don’t give me that altitude

very queen-esque with general 80s vibes and i like that.

33. dreamless

if it was longer i think it would be a lot higher on the list, because it’s Good. but i don’t feel right putting a 45 second song above, like, tobie’s razor. still! i love the mellow, kind of sad and eerie tones of it.

32. holiday crime!

look i know this one’s fairly low on the list, hear me out: it’s a good song and it’s pretty memorable as well! but as far as holiday songs go, i don’t think it’s their best or most iconic one. laura’s laughing and beat in the back is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming, though.

31. mr. dad

this one gets a higher rating than the previous holiday song for its good good harmonica and because when i heard the lyrics “but you love to watch him go” used to describe mr. dad i almost toppled my chair backwards with me still in it.

30. mourning ritual

the biggest load of 1980s bullshit i’ve ever heard in this decade. somehow it’s also got a big panic! at the disco vibe and i’m not sure how i feel about it but it’s definitely Strongly There and i can’t deny it.

29. outback sadhouse

it’s RIDICULOUS how well they nailed the sufjan stevens vibe with this one. plus the restaurant dialogue bit in the back of the song really adds a lot. 

28. let down my better dynamite

it’s really easy to bop to and the instrumental in the background is FANTASTIC! jonah really killed it with this one. plus they talk a lot about rats in the episode which is nice for me because i love rats. also it’s the first episode with an instance of “brian does a bit”.

27. the tale of the greazzy creek

i just think it absolutely nails the vibe of a rural campfire grizzled old cowboy song while also being a really catchy theme song. like, i think you could’ve snuck it into holes (2003) and i would’ve been like, yeah, that sounds right. 

26. turn around and come down slowly

not one of their more iconic songs but brian’s voice is so pretty in this and it’s really soothing. 

25. ratless randy’s

i don’t know why it’s this high on the list either, but it is. ratless randy’s really IS the place to be, guys.

24. tobie’s razor

i will be honest. when i saw the title for this episode for the first time i just thought “occam’s razor” and as i type this i can’t even think of what that actually is, so..... anyways, i’d say this song absolutely NAILS the vibe but i have no idea what vibe it’s even remotely related to. certainly does nail the internal childhood monologue though. i think this song is the first one where they really started hitting their stride, also. not that it’s better than some of the earlier ones, but this one forward their songs were pretty consistently high quality. plus, and no one will be surprised by this by now, it gets extra points for laura. 

23. armoire of royals

it’s weird, it’s synthy, has a vaguely billie eilish-esque part near the end which is not necessarily a point in favor depending on your taste but it Definitely is surprising and cool, and it’s got fake british accents. what more do you need out of a song?

22. sybil’s night scare

the piano in this is perfect and fantastic and the comedic timing in the song is just right. jonah’s delivery of “they’re actually real human eyes” is so goddamn good and his singing is Also great and frankly i think we can all agree we’re fucking tired of him saying he can’t sing. i mean, i assume (i fucking hope) he’s stopped saying that by now considering he had the majority of vocals on silo by a bit but Still. it’s a good peppy halloween-y song.

21. chalice for your thoughts

two spooky songs in a row! honestly, i’m not sure what reasons i have for ranking this song as high as i did. i just like it a lot. they were able to include a lot of weird twitter suggestions fairly seamlessly, and it’s just soft and pretty. spooky, but still pretty. 

20. 21st blitheday

i admit it: i fucking hate the voice brian uses in this. but i really, really like the song. the beat’s very good and somehow brian still manages to sing the chorus well and make it sound nice even though his affectation is Stupid as hell <3 the background whistling is nice and his robot voice, which he’s used for several of his videos but i think most notoriously for scrundler in his week in revue series (here), is also featured. it’s a real bop, i think.

19. monday night boomball

i genuinely think this is their weirdest song, ever. it’s incomprehensible and it’s so fucking theatre kid of them, and it’s dumb as shit but it’s really funny and enjoyable and strange and i love it.

18. gentle light

this is a really good song. it’s not weird or funny, it’s genuinely just a really soft, calming, normal song. i can’t in good conscience rank it above the others for this reason, because it’s easier to make a regular song good than it is for a song about fucking a tree, but i want to be clear: i really love this song. it’s a song that you could fall asleep to, cry to, cuddle up in a blanket to, whatever the hell you want to do to it.

17. proud egg mouth

extra points for fitting the word “maw” in any kind of song, a feat i’m not sure anyone else has ever accomplished. also for brian actually singing with an egg in his mouth.

16. you can take that to the bank

brian does an incredible randy newman impression and i love him for it. also it’s just a good song! it’s not my favorite but it’s very pleasing to my ears and it’s well made.

15. rainbow trout eggs

i listened to a shit ton of colbie caillat in middle school and i can tell you with confidence that the lyrics “i feel so alive and i know that i’m happy na na na na na hey hey” would be in one of her songs. it’s a good song with completely ridiculous lyrics and it’s a better character/full story ballad than their previous ones, in my opinion. which is what you’re specifically here for!

14. car mitzvah

i think this is a song my dad would listen to if it came on the radio. i also think it deserves to be in an early 90s or maybe coming of age movie. brian’s vocals are fantastic in this, also.

13. dr. brims

“it’s a new year, Ha Hah!” this song is sooooo fucking funny and exemplary of a lot of their other songs that came afterwards. i’ve been saying that a lot i think. writing reviews is hard.

12. let’s make a music (theme song)

maybe it’s the emotional value of this song being the song i associate most with the podcast, since it’s the theme song, or maybe it’s just really good. (spoiler: it’s both but mostly the second one) the episode is also really funny in general and if you’re new to the podcast and don’t care about order, i highly recommend this one first! 

11. heartbreak in michael’s

a very very very good sad gay love song and i recommend it to the ends of the earth! because this is the internet, and i can!

10. arbor day!

you try making a horny song about deforestation.

9. why don’t you like our song title?

such a fucking bop and showcases their skill for just doing whatever the hell they want and STILL making a fantastic song or video or whatever. they just stop saying words in it and it does not take anything away from the song. could you do that? i mean...maybe! but for the sake of this review and my point i’m gonna be like fuck you no you couldn’t. moving on.

8. akimbo

the backing track in this is ABSOLUTELY what makes the song. plus that one video of brian strutting but technically that can’t affect my review of the song because Technically it’s not part of the song. anyways it’s really peppy and fun and enjoyable and Good.

7. heartbreak in michael’s (reprise)

it’s the perfect finale song. like, it genuinely sounds like the song that plays at the end of a romcom after everything’s finally worked out. i Did cry when i heard brian sing the theme song at the end but that’s just because i’m a sentimental son of a bitch. so besides that ending bit that i can(’t) guarantee will make you tear up at Least, it’s really fucking fun! it’s upbeat and happy and i think they made the right song to go out on. or to go on a hiatus on, if brian’s website is to be believed. i don’t believe it, but hypothetically, y’know? hypothetically...

6. debutaunt ball

if the met gala doesn’t make this their theme song i will personally burn next year’s event to the ground, i swear to god. also it’s a good song to show off both jonah and brian’s range. it’s not like a lot of their other songs but it’s SUCH a banger and i adore it.

5. madame zamporium’s wax emporium 

fuck yeah. learning that the “ooh come on baby” from several unraveleds came from a let’s make a music is the reason i finally started listening to the podcast in the first place. but BESIDES that, since that’s not a reason for my ranking (just a fun little fact about me!), this song slaps a ridiculous amount. they went insanely hard and it’s the first song they made that really sets the tone of the podcast, which is: great comedy, great high production music. 

4. alan rickman’s edible zoo

GOD! the anti-celebrity, anti-capitalist rock song i’ve been waiting all my fucking life for! also it’s anti-america but only in one lyric. but in Another sense....throughout the whole song. PLUS, and most importantly, it features jonah’s literally and i mean LITERALLY impeccable alan rickman impression. like, it’s fucking bulletproof. alan rickman was in the goddamn room. 

3. horsecar!

look. when this song started playing for the first time i went...fuck no. in general i don’t tolerate country or cowboy songs very well because they just don’t sound appealing to my ears most of the time. i put up with country road only because of a funny mario edit someone made of it and now the original song has more value to me. this is relevant only because the same thing happened with horsecar! in that the chorus KICKS ASS. i may make a post on just my favorite lmam songs and also this is already a crazy long post so i won’t go into it too much but i will say this. the shock value of going from the first verse in this song to the chorus is...........Incredibly high and it Works So Fucking Well! it literally makes the song. and not even just for the short term value of Oh My God That’s A Twist, it lasts through the whole song. i’m listening to the song as i type this and i’m currently at the country/cowboy part and i don’t hate it because i know the chorus is incredible. in fact, i’d argue that the chorus on its own may be the best thing lmam ever made, even better than my two actual favorite songs of theirs. i’m definitely going to have to make a full post on this. (SIDE NOTE: BRIAN’S VOCALS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND HORSECAR! IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS. his goddamn RANGE!! SIR!!! his falsetto is literally ridiculous my pants are OFF)

2. dragon me to this wedding

this is what i meant when i said there’s an exception to the “i’m not generally a fan of full story ballads”, because this is one of my all time favorite lmam songs. as in, it’s in the top three. which i guess you can tell from it being number two in the top three. in fact, it’s probably one of my favorite songs in general. the first time i listened to the episode i went back and listened to the song again three times in a row, and all three times i cried real tears. it’s GAY it’s REALLY PRETTY and i LOVE IT. 

1. save 2 4 tony

so we’ve finally made it to my all-time favorite lmam song. maybe it’s that i recently graduated myself and so this song hits a little harder, but it also just GOES hard. i genuinely think they peaked when they recorded this. it’s one of those bdg songs where you’re listening to it, you’re just chilling, and it’s like “yeah wow this is nice!” and all of a sudden he hits a falsetto and you go “oh FUCK that guy can SING!” literally his vocals in this are incredible and it’s very fun (and on brand) that the Oh Fuck moment here is the line “tony hawk babeyyy!” plus jonah killed it on the backing and composition and everything. it’s the best let’s make a music song and i won’t take constructive criticism.