#oh to be a horror pod

[saragrosie]

Season 1- early 2 of my new favorite thing: Ghost Spider Podcast

John-level monologue below:

Idk what these lads look like and I'm not looking it up because I REFUSE to be spoiled. I just based John (Jon?) off of that one drawing of him with the fisher price tape recorder my buddy sent me. Martin just looks like that to me. I usually always draw the spirals in eyes but in my head he has black eyes like a shark :> (Martin they could never make me hate you). I got past the episode where the police lady said John and Tim have scars? So I added them. Rip worms on the face. They're not in the "Martin are you a ghost" thing cuz I guess him and Tim got them in their fight out of the catacombs when they were separated from Martin? Idk I'm not going to look at anything till I finish cuz I wanna go through one thing without being spoiled for once

[marisashorror]

Time to forget

Inspired by a guy from @notquitedeadpod

[syntaxpod]

What if we're... all of them...? Massive bingo???

Wanted to make my own horror pod bingo, but you can tell I went to The Gothic Lit School of Gothic Lit

(Please do use for your own shows! And copy the alt text!)

And ours:

[witchinatree]

making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it

(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)

episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice

i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)

episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement

this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶

episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement

the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them

episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement

augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin

episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement

i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!

episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles

i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy

episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia

STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you

episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"

RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry

episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam

they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material

episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice

does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.

episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen

dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard

episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice

she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her

episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen

each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(

episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement

theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh

episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway

episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers

episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen

episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1

episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive

episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(

episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.

episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.

episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full

episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3

episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over

episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY

episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO

episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude

episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭

episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.

[brainbleedo]

MMMM THAT GWEN ALICE INTERACTION WAS SO GOOD

DYHARD IS BACK ON THE MENU FOLKSS

[cult-of-the-eye]

oh god it turns out body horror doesn't make me feel better about myself and instead exponentially increases my medical paranoia

[arolesbianism]

I am once again being haunted by "a paradox" holy fuck Olivia what the fuck is going on here what did you get yourself involved with and what did you do after it speak to me Olivia I can't keep living like this

[cupoteahatter]

Okay I KNOW that there’s bigger things going on but

…..Anyone else getting a bit of a vibe from Alice and Gwen?

[randomfandomsgobrrrrrr]

NEW RED VALLEY EPISODE HOLY SHOOT IM GOING FERAL IM GOING ABSOLUTELY BONKERS OVER THIS SHOW. MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE INFACT CONCERNED

[eddie-spielman]

i want to live.

(i just listened to mag 170)

[t4tstarvingdog]

i think voncid’s voice when he’s grieving at the end of ep 32 is so…. god. i’ve been thinking about older queer people lately and especially queer grief, and there’s something so lovely about the way voncid speaks about the second death of it all

[nerdiqueen]

oh I am MAD about this one

hooo buddy boy so I was looking for something to tide me over between tmp episodes because dark side divas & night vale aren't doing it for me, and I found this article.

looks good, right? exactly what I'm looking for, especially since I'm new to the realm of fiction podcasting and only really know night vale and the magnus podcasts.

Oh My Fucking God No.

I start scrolling, skimming the descriptions, looking for the tma I know will be there, and sure enough I'm right.

at number twenty-eight.

at this point I'm like, what? the magnus archives? the literary masterpiece? like, the thing that has had as much of an effect on my psyche as sir terry goddamn pratchett did? that's number twenty-eight?

fine, I think, it's whatever. I'm sure these others are good, and oh look, archive 81, I've heard some good things about that one! and then I reach the bottom. and sitting there, at number ONE. the podcast they place above ALL OTHERS.

I actually almost screamed I was so pissed. look, I enjoy night vale. it's fun, it's goofy, I have a great time when I listen to it. it is B tier at best. that's subjective, of course, and accounting for a difference in taste I'm not miffed that it made the list.

what I am miffed about is that it's above tma. what I'm pissed about is that it's TWENTY SEVEN PLACES above tma. what I consider a WAR CRIME is that it's NUMBER ONE.

welcome to night vale is a comedy with horror theming, the monty python and the holy grail of fiction podcasts (though not quite as funny). the magnus archives is a goddamn modern-day literary MASTERWORK. the best piece of writing I've ever encountered, and I've encountered a LOT of good writing. the most compelling characters I've ever met. in my honest opinion, the best piece of media I have ever consumed in my entire high-education life. and I say that as someone who normally can't do horror things.

[thelonelywiz]

DEADWOOD.

“You could also stay and try to stall the inevitable. Talk me into circles. In a perfect world it would work, surely, but I’ve found that Earth is far from perfect. Very far. So it wouldn’t work, not for long.”

SYNOPSIS.

A horror anthology split into nine stories, some more connected than others.

The Pioneer is a story that takes place in 2019 in which a group of college friends spend a week in an old house in Martha’s Vineyard and are terrorized by an old eldritch god trapped inside.

NOTES.

Started: Jan 2023

Format: podcast

Season/arc: season 1, the pioneer arc

Genre: horror anthology

Themes: grief, hope, survival, death, love

Content warnings: death, body horror, gore, blood, violence, drowning, cannibalism, self sacrifice, and other horror related themes

CHARACTERS.

Andromeda “Andie” Reyes Esperanza (she/they): A very determined journalism major. In love with her roommate.

Demetrius James Reyes Esperanza (he/him): Sophomore in high school who does not want to be here. Andie’s adopted younger brother.

April (she/her): A calm, cool, and collected engineering major. Is Andie’s roommate.

Cain (he/him): A double photography and filmmaking major who’s doing his best. The best and worst host ever.

Judith (she/her): An undeclared major with a religion minor struggling with her religion. Has…interesting ancestors.

Zeke (he/they): A college dropout who’s here for a good time not a long time, literally. Judith’s cousin.

The Pioneer (it/he/no pronouns): The eldritch god of retribution. Has an insatiable hunger.

FURTHERMORE…

This story is 1 out of 9, and it's pretty much fully drafted - I have 0 audio and production skills but once I’ve written everything out I’ll probably have that figured out? Maybe?

Soundtrack: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/29dh4mRRnKF206gLvwpHWh?si=qiatqExkTV2yS74dli-mrw&pi=u-_4ODSPG9TP2d 

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/2IxZwwZ 

Tags: #dw pod

Taglist: @calenhads, comment or write in the tags if you want to be added :D

[lucifer-kane]

Need to dig and find what the next podcast I listen to will be. I know I started hfth (and I enjoyed what I listened to), I just... need stuff that isn't horror. I love horror podcasts as much as the next person but the shows I've been listening to recently have been Not Horror and it's been soooooo nice to get away from that

[acid-onthefloor]

i like to imagine the distortion wearing this for the entirety of TMA

depression is over it’s done it is obliterated look at this fucking shirt i found at the thrift near my house

[ceruark]

hold my hand & don't be scared

What would the HSR characters be like when navigating a haunted house/scary maze with their crush?

Completely unflinching. You wonder if there’s anything on this planet that could startle them or catch them off guard. They just kind of raise an eyebrow at the scare actors or give them an unimpressed look every time one pops up. 

Because of their impassivity, they’re able to focus most of their attention on you. They’ll sigh and act like they’re being inconvenienced when you cling to them, but secretly, they’re reveling in it. Haunted houses have never amused them much, but your surprised screams and the way you bury your face in their arm after someone jumps out at you certainly adds a factor of entertainment for them.

Acheron, Blade, Dan Heng, Dr. Ratio, Jingliu, Moze, Silver Wolf

Also unflinching, but in a “cool guy” way. Doesn’t jump or scream when a scare actor pops out at them, but will at least try to humor them by saying something like, “Oh, that was a good one!” before moving along, completely unaffected.

Of course, they so valiantly place themselves at your side when your friends push you to the front of the group, knowing you’ll get the most scared. Don’t worry, you can hold onto them, they’ll make sure you get out just fine. They’ll place a gentle hand on your back when you bury your face into them out of fear, steering you through the maze. When you make it out, they’ll hold you until the adrenaline leaves you, and praise you on how brave you were. No, of course there wasn’t an ulterior motive for going in the front with you. Your friends don’t know what they’re talking about.

Aventurine, Black Swan, Feixiao, Himeko, Jade, Jiaoqiu, Jing Yuan, Kafka, Luocha, Sunday, Topaz

You’re two peas in a pod, and your friend group makes you both lead the way because they know you’ll both get the most scared. As you stand in front of the entrance, heart pounding as you wait for the attendant to allow you to go in, they extend a hand out to you and offer a nervous but encouraging smile. You take it, and they squeeze your hand as you both enter.

You’re holding onto each other the entire time. Your screams echo each other, and you’re practically jumping into each other’s arms each time a scare actor jumps out at you. At some point, you’ve both got your faces turned toward each other, shuffling aimlessly through the maze in an attempt to not look at the terrifying things waiting to get you. Once you finally manage to make out, you both laugh hysterically as you try to calm down, their hand lingering in your own.

Bronya, Firefly, Gepard, March, Robin

Puts on a brave act and talks a big game, but is even worse than you. They’ll slither their way to the front of the group and put an arm around you, promising you nothing will happen to you as long as they’re by your side. They’ll make sure of it.

Once you’re inside the maze, it’s an entirely different story. You don’t even have the opportunity to be scared because you’re too busy being tossed around. If a scare actor jumps out in front of them, they’re immediately throwing you in front of them or pulling you toward them to use as a human shield, screaming in horror and leaving your ears ringing. You’re too busy laughing at their reactions and antics to give the scare actors a proper reaction. 

In the end, they did prevent you from getting scared, and they got to hold you (well, hold onto you). It’s the thought that counts.

Boothill, Caelus, Sampo, Seele, Stelle