#oh this made me cry

[brightlotusmoon]

@this-world-of-beautiful-monsters

Cinderella marries the Prince, part 1/2

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[contactlessdrivethru]

just finished opla mood

[mmmairon]

I fear my hands may always be stained red

[talktomegooseman]

G this one hit home hard. As a 26 weeker myself the emotions are high

Out of Your Mind || Whumptober Day 6 - B.Bradshaw

whumptober masterlist || whumptober taglist form

synopsis: Bradley hadn't ever dreamed of becoming a dad until one day he found out he was going to be one. . . and then he became all the kid had.

word count: 1.8k

@ailesswhumptober prompt: crying yourself to sleep

warnings: child birth, mentions of cannon character death, character death, premature labor, premature newborn, talks about premature death, grief.

When Bradley found out that his girlfriend was expecting, he was shocked. It wasn’t that they were actively trying, but they were doing little to prevent it. It took Bradley a moment to feel truly excited about it. All he could think of was the images of his mom crying into some stranger’s arms after they came to the door to tell him that his father was dead. Bradley never wanted to do that to someone. He never wanted someone to wait for him at home for him to never return. He didn’t want to leave a child without a father. 

But when he saw the first image of his little baby and heard their heartbeat, he knew that this was what was supposed to happen. Suddenly, everything felt so right. Everything, for once, felt okay in the world. 

As soon as they left the doctor’s office, Bradley was calling everyone he knew to tell them the exciting news. His girlfriend had to tell him to slow down, that she hadn’t even told her parents yet, and felt like that was who should know first. Bradley agreed and waited only a second after she had told her parents to continue texting everyone on his contacts list that he was going to be a father. 

Bradley was by his girlfriend’s side through it all. Every ultrasound, every craving, every emotion, every kick, Bradley was right there. He imagined that this was what his father felt when his mother was pregnant. Bradley had a hard time getting out of bed every morning to go to work, wanting nothing but the be by his girl’s side, not wanting to miss a single thing. Bradley was basically glued to the hip when he could be. 

He even put up a fight when the doctors and nurses forcefully pushed him out of the delivery room when his girlfriend threw a blood clot and stopped breathing. Bradley didn’t know much about what was going on, other than that it was early. The baby wasn’t supposed to come this early, but she had woken up in terrible pain. The kind of pain that robs you of your sight. Bradley had rushed to the hospital and barely had the car in park when doctors were rushing them upstairs to labor and delivery. 

“There’s no cry,” Bradley mumbled, trying to figure out what was going on around him. The medical language that was being thrown around went right over Bradley’s head. But when the doctor told them to start moving, Bradley’s brain finally seemed to catch up with him. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, trying to follow them. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Bradshaw, but you can’t come with us,” The doctor said, “We will have someone out to update you soon.” Bradley stood helplessly, as he watched the elevator doors close, the last glimpse he had was of her pale face and a doctor shocking her body.

It took nearly two hours of waiting until a doctor came out to update him. Bradley stood up and the doctor slowly took off her surgical cap, before guiding Bradley to sit back down in the chair. Bradley felt the blood rushing past his ears as the words left her mouth. He tried to understand the medical jargon, but it was simple.

“I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Bradshaw,” The doctor said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Th-the baby?” Bradley asked with tears in his eyes.

“She’s in the nursery,” The doctor gave him a sad smile. 

“She?” He asked softly. 

The doctor nodded, “yes, a little girl.”

“Can I see her?”

“Of course. Hey, Nurse Maggie? Will you take Mr. Bradshaw to the nursery,” The doctor called out to a nurse. She stopped in the hallway and nodded, “If you need anything at all,” The doctor handed Bradley a card, “You don’t hesitate to call, okay? I am so, so sorry Bradley.”

Bradley nodded and watched as the doctor departed before following the nurse to the nursery. Bradley’s breath caught in his throat as the nurse led him up to a tiny bed with a plastic box-type casing over it. All he could see were wires until he walked close enough to notice there was a tiny infant inside. 

“Her lungs aren’t fully developed yet,” The nurse said, “She’ll just need a little time in here to get nice and strong,” Bradley had never seen a baby so small in his life. She couldn’t have weighed more than a couple of pounds and looked like she could fit in the palm of his hand, “Do you want to hold-” 

“Will she make it?” Bradley asked, bluntly, looking at the nurse. 

The nurse swallowed, “Babies at twenty-six weeks are considered premature and they will need some time-” 

“That’s not what I asked,” Bradley said and then looked back at the tiny baby, “I asked will she survive. Will my daughter-” Bradley’s voice cracked as he placed his hand on the top of the incubator, “Will my daughter survive?” 

“It’s hard to say,” The nurse sighed, “Her lungs aren’t developed, and she had the cord wrapped around her neck. She wasn’t breathing for about forty-five seconds. It’s hard to know what the damage is to her brain.” 

Bradley nodded. 

“I think you should hold her,” The nurse encouraged, “If you don’t feel comfortable with that, at least hold her hand. Studies have shown that skin-to-skin contact has helped even the littlest of premies make it through.”  

“I can’t hold her,” Bradley shook his head, “I-I just can’t. . . not yet. But I can hold her hand.” 

The nurse nodded and walked to the incubator. She opened one of the arm holes on the side and grabbed Bradley a chair. He slowly sat down in the chair and reached his hand inside. He was right, she was the size of his hand. He gently pushed one of his fingers into her tiny fist and gasped as she held on to it. 

“Hi there,” Bradley whispered. 

“There you go,” The nurse smiled at him, “We contacted your partner’s family, do you want me to send them in when they get here?”

“Uh. . . No,” Bradley said. He wasn’t sure if he could face them. His mind was too focused on the sick little girl in front of him. It was all too much and he couldn’t imagine trying to deal with hysterical parents and them trying to see his daughter. Bradley already felt a sense of protection and his baby was only a mere hours old. 

“It’s just us,” Bradley said softly. 

“Press this button if you need anything,” The nurse said and Bradley nodded before she left the room.

Bradley stared down at the tiny baby that looked to be more tubes and wires than a human. She had the thinnest brown hair on her head, which surprised Bradley. He could remember his girlfriend complaining about heartburn and how the old wives’ tales said that was a sign that the baby would have a lot of hair. Even as tiny as she was, Bradley could already make out some of her features. That soft brown hair, and cute little nose. She had her mom’s ears and lips. 

“It’s just you and me, kid,” Bradley said, his voice cracking. He reached his other hand into the incubator and ran his fingertip over her hair, “I’m sorry. I wish you could’ve met her too. She… she was so amazing.” Bradley couldn’t help the tears running down his face, “You look like her. Which is probably bad news for me… cause you’re going to be a heartbreaker when you’re old enough to date.” 

He chuckled sadly, “But we’re gonna be okay, you and me. I only had one parent growing up and I turned out alright. Granted, my mother was a genius and a saint and I don’t know a single thing about parenting or raising a kid. . . but I think we’ll figure it out. . . Caroline.” 

At the sound of her name, the tiny baby turned her head ever so slightly towards the sound of Bradley’s voice. He watched in awe as her eyes opened briefly, showing those familiar brown eyes that matched his. 

Bradley smiled at her, “There you go baby girl. We’re gonna get through this.” 

After sitting by Caroline’s side for hours, a nurse came and replaced Bradley. Though he did put up some fight about leaving his daughter’s side, the nurse assured him that she would be right there the whole time. Bradley drove back home in silence, thinking of the list of things he had been putting off doing until later. One was putting the crib together, something that he had hoped to do with Maverick while his girlfriend and Penny decorated. His heart hurt just thinking about all the things she was going to miss out on. He remembered how heartbroken his own mother was that Goose was going to miss things like his first t-ball game, his first broken bone, teaching him how to drive, and getting to meet his grandchild. 

Bradley sat in the driveway for a moment, staring at the now-dark house. He forced himself to move from the Bronco and walk inside the house that was once bursting with warmth and excitement. Now it felt cold and lonely. He kicked his shoes off and walked up the stairs toward the room that was just across the hall from his bedroom. 

The only thing Bradley had done in the room so far was paint it a light gray and hang up the name sign above where the crib was supposed to go. Bradley sat down on the floor, his back against the wall and facing the sign. The name Caroline was illuminated by the moonlight shining in through the window, almost as if it was a call to Bradley. He folded his hands and tilted his head back. 

“Mom. . . Dad. . . if you’re listening,” Bradley sniffled, ��I need help. I-I got a very sick little girl on my hands and I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing but I know that I am all she’s got, and she’s all I got,” Bradley’s body heaved as a sob ripped from his mouth. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he cried like this. The type of crying that puts you to sleep. It was probably a couple of weeks after his mom’s funeral. When he realized that he was truly on his own. That it really was just him in the world. And now, Bradley was realizing that he wasn’t alone anymore. There was someone else who shared the same DNA as him. Had the same brown hair. The same brown eyes. The same last name. There was someone who depended on him.

And it completely terrified him.

taglist: @els-marvelvsp @sarahsmi13s @topgun-imagines @xoxabs88xox @cassiemitchell @seitmai @a-reader-and-a-writer @bradleybeachbabe @kmc1989 @senawashere @beautifulandvoid @ohtobeleah @rogersbarnesxx @oatmealisweird @dempy @devil-angel-winchester @gillybear17

[ghost-bxrd]

(“the weather warmer, he is colder”)

— Army Dreamers, Kate Bush

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[borgialucrezia]

“It felt like it was meant to happen. Of course they do have sexual feelings for one another, but it mostly comes from a deep, deep love. When it happens there’s pain, there’s relief, there’s the feeling that it was inevitable. There are so many emotions involved in that sexual act that it couldn’t have been just jumping each other’s bones. [Laughs.]." — FRANÇOIS ARNAUD

[gildedstarbaker]

"He's just a Ghost. You raised an army! You can bring back one Ghost!"

[pawnyao]

"Did you get enough love, my little dove why do you cry?"

[each-uisge-enthusiast]

the modern villainisation of demeter will never cease to enrage me bc it wasn’t ENOUGH to just take a story of a girl being torn from her home from everyone who loved her and dragged away to be forced into marriage and twist and corrupt it until it was a romance story about female empowerment that wasn’t ENOUGH they HAD to take the original hero of the story the mother who went to every length to find her daughter again to bring her home and demonise her character until she was this horrific overbearing unloving mother. overprotective controlling without love. they turn the story of her grief at her YOUNG daughter being torn from her without her knowledge into the story of a misunderstood bad boy and a horrible cruel mother who won’t give him a chance and i really find it sickening. it’s ironic, that the ever misogynist age of hellenistic greece, has a better grasp of how disgusting and horrifying this situation was that a modern, self proclaimed ‘feminist’ era.

[venompinks]

JENNIE ☆ COMING OCTOBER 11

[umblrspectrum]

do you ever like wanna make something cool but you dont know how so you just sit around like a moron for 5 hours straight pretending you know how

me neither

on a more serious note i know ad astra as a whole isnt over but i still want to thank daybreaker for their fics. what friends are for was the very first md fic i ever stumbled upon when trying out ao3 for the first time, and prior to joining the server i was checking it near daily for uploads. god knows if i'd be as deep in ao3 as i am now if it werent for this story and convenient timing. Thanks for the story.

[pauls-mescal]

ANDREW GARFIELD

- WE LIVE IN TIME (2024) dir. John Crowley

[yutaan]

Papercraft Tohru - and Yuki, and Kyo! And some little fruit details, because, after all... Fruits Basket! 🍎

I got pretty emotional making this one! Fruits Basket had a huge, profound effect on me in my teens, and I often curled up with it for comfort and a sense of companionship during hard times. Now as an adult, it's been a while since I've read the whole series through, but I pick up random volumes fairly often and skim through them to get that familiar rush of warmth. It's still such a lovely series!

[vaperarmand]

i’m literally soo addicted to the idea that armand continues to visit daniel and make him forget for decades after they first get together. armand needs to read everything daniel’s ever written and needs to own signed copies of all of his books and needs to be there in the background from all his major life events. he’s there as a shoulder to cry on at the end of his first marriage, and again at the second. he’s the stranger at the bar who daniel tells about his daughters even though his relationship with them is crumbling. i need armand to be obsessed with daniel in every way he can manage and daniel to reciprocate every time. i need daniel to start aging and armand to be more excited every time he sees signs of it, and daniel — before he remembers — is confused and flattered and fond of the beautiful young man who curiously combs through his gray hairs and prods at his new wrinkles. and every time daniel remembers he's more angry, more hurt, more willing to beg (or demand) for armand not to do it again. and it gets more difficult for armand to do it every time, but that doesn't stop him. why should daniel remember how much he loves him?