#oh that fucking kills me actually......

[3416]

easton and fraser getting called out for always namedropping the leafs guys, but especially mitch marner 😭

[sunderwight]

Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.

Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.

To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.

He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.

Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.

So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.

When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.

What did he do to cause that?!

And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!

[heartorbit]

i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .

[stump-not-found]

Ok, weird question: What would canon!Ford think of theuses!Ford and vice versa?

"damn, nice fit"

[dirt-str1der]

They made hyoga look so much cooler in the anime hes just standing there , in the manga theyre all dripping wet and bedraggled and senku is dying as usual

[mandareeboo]

I have this silly headcanon that the wolves all have specific names for each of the family, with Moll being "Mother/Leader/Boss", Mebh being "Sister" and Bill being, like, "Newbie".

But Robyn? Robyn led them in a battle against humans! She's like a mini-boss! So they call her "Commander". The wolves have decided this twelve-year-old stick-thin English girl is soooo cool, actually, and constantly ask her for advice in small problems they don't want to bother Moll about. She's considered equal to Mebh in the pack dynamic, but Mebh is a playmate while Robyn is the sensible one. The one with the braincells in their opinion. Most of these problems are simple wolf problems like "he stole my favorite stick. That's MY stick!!!" and "He stepped on my tail so I bit him. Now he's MAD at me????"

It pisses Mebh off to no end because Mebh feels it's entirely unfair that they're hefting this responsibility on her new sister (AND new wolfwalker!!! She's still new to all of this!!!) and is constantly trying to bait them into calling her "Sister" too and tries to get Robyn to follow in her footsteps.

Robyn, meanwhile, is like "Mebh, these are wolves. I'm not arguing with them unless it's absolutely necessary." and this somehow coalesces in her being their favorite minus Moll, and that's even more annoying to Mebh, who literally grew up with this pack and has wrestled each and every one over a spare rib bone (more than once!) so it's not uncommon for Mebh to tag along and yell at them when they're mucking around.

[kevindavidday]

idk why i remember the detail so clearly but when jean moved in with the girls initially they told him which cleaning supplies/chemicals don't mix together and it's just stuck in my brain. he's going to mix them. i dread.

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along

[cluescorner]

A Batman who kills people is a bad Batman. Except for Terry because he is my special boy. Terry can drown a man it's ok. He can literally shatter a woman it's fine.

[the-magpie-archives]

I gotta be honest if some random guy approached me in the street and asked me to tell him my paranormal trauma I'd literally just tell him? Like he wouldn't have to compel me I'd like to share. Free therapy for me, free story for him! Not my problem if it feeds an otherworldly overlord.

[camellcat]

first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....

[clowningcrows]

taking my first dose of t today and literally feel like i could implode from pure excitement

[spacedace]

Joking summary of this one bit of Foundling at the Door:

Clark: Phew, finally got Kon and Tim to go get a couple of hours of sleep down in the dorms. Man, they act like I'm going to just lose her the second they're out of the room or something!

Elle: *wakes up from her coma the second Tim & Kon walk out the door*

Elle: *makes direct eye contact with Clark*

Elle:

Clark: well

Clark: fuck

[lesbiancosmicowl]

god. and she'd do it again. she'd know the outcome, she'd know how it ends and she'd still do it again. she'd do it in every universe and every timeline. bc she's lisa swain. she'd go through this (put carla through this) without question, without second thoughts, without blinking. because this is the only way carla gets a kidney, the only way carla survives, the only way carla lives. and if it means carrying around the guilt? well. isn't she an expert at that already? what's one more body? what's one more life? what's another name, another face? what's carrying carla's guilt on top of her own, compared to the overwhelming relief of knowing she's not dying anymore? what's knowing carla killed her only surviving brother because of her, if it means she gets to hold her again?

and who says romance is dead? xx

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

If I wrote a time travel au (Jon and Martin go back in time to first season archives after 200) where because of future intervention there’s a lot less trauma, and with less horrors to worry about past Jon begins to question his gender and starts experimenting with it- and it freaks future Jon out because ‘what tf do you mean I’m trans and never figured it out because Trauma????’

Would anyone read it?

[wannabemylover]

rewatching the first episode of Hannibal and holy shit I forgot how good this is but it's actually insane that Brian fuller set up the ep like this, he introduces will and Hannibal by first briefly showing them at their core, at the darkest, most vile part of them---we get a glimpse behind the curtain---and then its gone, the curtain is snapped shut and we see their masks, their human suits.

Will empathizes with killers because he likes it, and he wants to kill but he refuses to give into the urge because he knows how much he'll like it and he won't be able to stop. So he lives vicariously through other killers, satisfying his own dark urge by feeding it little morsels of secondhand blood lust. Every crime scene he works gives the urge something that satisfies it, not enough for it to grow, but enough for it be sate. Enough that he can ignore it for long enough that he can walk around and be Professor Will Graham who is Weird, Brash, and Non-sociable.

And Hannibal is a cannibal at night and a psychiatrist by morning.