#oh shit its ryn

[c-kiddo]

orym and cad pretending to be reiloras praying and imogen being like "mumble under your breath, caduceus" and veth replying "he always does 🙄" lol

[ruunkur]

Also, pissed off fans or fans who feel like they're being catered to tend to support you more. The casual fan? The ones who slip through the cracks? What lost them? Why did they stop?

Social media has given us so much all at once that you have to keep dog piling onto it to keep the crumbling attention span of your fandom

Look, if you have to butcher your own asshole characters to make them gay and tragic, it sucks!

Gotta make the actual traumatized character a laughing stock and like!

Stolas is great, in a romantic tragedy way and he would be better suited for a romcon tragedy set in hell.

They mashed 2 good ideas and it's not going well :(

[feralportalmaster]

My notes from c3 e51

MAJOR SPOILERS!!!

starting off, all i know is people keep comparing the solstice to the chroma conclave, so there’s about to be some major levels of shit fuckery going down.

charisma for the win

fight already damn

of course matt is gonna bring up moral conundrums

THUL

letters you daumbass you just killed ryn

dont shrug sam you smug asshole

oh shit caleb

oh shit beau

OH SHIT TIMEY WIMEY SHIT

dope new battleground

oh there's the ship

AND I OOP-

THEY JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF INNOCENTS FOR NOTHING OH SHIT

bells better come up with something quick

fuck yeah kiki!

fuck no kiki!

FEATHERS???

MY EDGY BOI HATH RETURNED!!!!

THEY SQUISHED MY EDGY BOI NOOO!!!!!

shit shit shit shit fuck damnit no no no no no gods no fuck ahhh what in the Brennan Lee Mulligan levels of shit fuckery is about to happen??

oh gods no its quiet

oh gods no they split the party

NO YOU DO NOT LEAVE IT THERE MERCER

In summary: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[e-s-willswriting]

Incorrect Quote Generator Tag

Thank you for the tag @rickie-the-storyteller this was really fun!

I'm going to add quotes from my main characters from The Crypt Archives. Gonna be long because I had way too much fun with this.

Charlotte: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Noah.

Noah: I hate myself.

Charlotte: Alright, square up.

Alden: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Piper: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Charlotte: Look, Noah, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

Piper: Who the fuck- Alden: Language! Piper: Whom the fuck- Alden: No.

Charlotte: Breathe, just breathe.

Noah: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Judas:: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Judas: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Judas: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Charlotte: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Judas: Ominous positivity.

Nymph: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Charlotte: Why not? Nymph: Because I don't know what they mean.

Charlotte: What's this? Nymph, hugging Charlotte: Affection! Charlotte: Disgusting. Charlotte: …Do it again.

Noah: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Alden: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Morrigan: And you came to me?

Alden: I can't imagine what Morrigan is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

Noah: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Noah: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Noah: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Charlotte: This is Monopoly.

Judas: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

Charlotte: Judas, I need some advice.

Judas: You need advice from ME?

Charlotte: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Noah: I can't believe you've done this.....

Charlotte: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Noah, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

Noah: Come to think of it… You’ve always been nice to me.

Noah: I mean, you listen to all my problems-

Charlotte: No, Noah I just simply stand here while you talk, there’s a big difference.

Judas: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Noah: I was in the will?

Noah: I can never give Charlotte shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Noah: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

Morrigan, to Alden: If you see Charlotte, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Morrigan: They'll know what it means.

*later*

Alden: oh, and Morrigan said to give you a message.

Alden: *makes a neutral face*

Charlotte: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

Judas: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Charlotte: I don't want your advice.

Judas: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Alden: Remember what I told you. Piper: Don’t be a cunt.

Noah: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

Judas: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Tagging a few people but anyone is free to have a go, make sure to tag me, I'd love to see yours!

@gwendolinequinn @legiomiam @srjacksin @lilac-honey @ryns-ramblings

[fandom-panda]

Live Blog-ish of Critical Role C3 Ep 43

i wasn't in the mood to watch it when it came out, but i saw some spoilers so i need to watch this now

(time stamp of slightly after what im talking about) my thoughts/questions/reactions. just so its easier for you to read/know what im talking about :)

(1:46) WTF WHY SAM?!?! WHY DOES SAM HAVE LITTLE PLASTIC FEET ON HIS FINGERS

(3:00-ish) YEA LETS GO LAURA-i mean- THE THUMB!! YOUR SUPER POWER BEING NOT GIVING A SHIT? ICONIC!!

(13:00) OMG I FORGOT ABOUT SHITHEAD!! i genuinely thought that this was a bit, not a real thing!!!

(21:00) ok wtf is up with Shithead?? is it some undead thing?!?!

(couple seconds later) I WAS RIGHT!! it is undead!

(25:40) lol i love how Laudna keeps just chucking pâté

(3:45) OH NO WHAT HAPPENED TO ASHTON!?!?! WHERE DID THE FUNKY LITTLE ROCK GO?!?!

(33:30) OMG ASHLEY ACTUALLY DID A SPITTAKE LOL

(47:00) omg i cant believe fearne is continuing w the professor thing

(51:50) WTF WHY IS A REPRESENTATIVE OF VASSELHEIM THERE?!?! does it have to do w anything that the professor studying ruidus being missing? cause the thing where there were documents in vasselheim about there beings some more gods other than the prime dieties and the betrayer gods...?

(53:10) ok so couple things (about judicators). 1) hunters?!?!? wtf does that mean?!!? are they hunting said professor...? 2) oh my gosh!! i love history (real or fake, like exandrian history). my fave arc in campaign 2 was the aeor arc, so learning more about this history of judicators = learning more about the history of exandria = SO COOL!!!

(55:20) OH MY GOD CHETNEY!!! WHY ARE YOU WALKING UP TO THE JUDICATOR?!?!?

(58:30) i have a feeling that, if given a class, judicators would be monks. idk they just give off the vibe of hand to hand combatants

(1:04:58) OH MY GOD FCG CASTING FAST FRIENDS. ugh i kinda hate that spell, and other similar ones, it makes me very anxious

(1:17:59) when matt said "Lucent Spire" i thought he said "Lucien" spire at first

(1:35:00) oh thank god, they pass the group deception check

(1:36:15) NOOO LAUDNA WHY!?!? YOU WERE FINE!! WHY DID YOU USE UNSETTLING PRESENCE!?!?

(1:40:02) why does this professor have alarm set up? (at least thats what i think it is). is it bc the judicators?

(1:42:26) ah so i guess it was the alarm spell, and the guy was there and got alarm-ed. notified... that sort of thing

(1:47:19) "no offence, but i can smell you" lol

(1:54:16) is it possible that the guy left before bells hells even showed up...?

(1:56:00) OH MY GOD ORYM WAS RIGHT TO LOOK FOR A TRAPDOOR/WAY GOING DOWN!! also two?

(1:59:40) lol chetney didn't check to see if the desk was trapped

(2:02:25) OMG IT REMINDS THEM OF ESHTEROSS AND I FORGOT THAT HE WAS DEAD :,((

(2:03:38) OH MY GOD FCG!! YOURE STEALING (cooking stuff) FROM THIS PROFESSOR!?!?!

(2:13:48) oop lol they do a steppy into the teleportation circle. where do they go? only continuing to watch will tell

(2:34:11) OH MY GOD! I was so confused, i was like "who is planerider ryn?" and then we find out they're the one who gave yussa the thing to get to the fire plane in c2?!!?! but have we met them before...?

(2:36:38) also i dont remember who or what the grim verity is :p

(2:43:54) oh my god the fire elemental has a name!! niles!!! :D this makes me ridiculously happy

(2:51:00) im gonna be dm-ing call of the netherdeep soon for a couple friends of mine, and some of them watch cr? and i fear that there might be some spoilers for it in c3 so thats fun /s

also (def spoilers for call of the netherdeep) in the intro to the campaign book, it says something along the lines of how ruidus wasn't always in the sky; and how the prime dieties made up the superstitions to try and get people to fear it/not research it. so... that definitely ties in to c3

(3:01:39) this is gonna be me repeating stuff we learn bc OMG HISTORY (excitement) and some theories and thoughts as i slowly watch this lore dump. ok so there are 2 lost dieties: ethedok "the endless shadow" and vordo "the fateshaper." ethedok's domain is darkness and winter (no thoughts about that one except "oh my gosh! more history!!), and vordo's domain is fate and order. i bet vordo is the luxon, the the beacons/diety the Kryn Dynasty prays to. the text also gave proof that ruidus wasn't always there (which i already knew), but it was created by the gods. I suppose i should have known that, but i didn't realize is. "the gods showed fear. something from beyond the stars that they recognized arrived here..." this is like,,, Tharizdun's lore. "... and they called it Predathos..." is this referring to both Ethedok and Vordo? also this post by blazingstar24 talks about the possible connection between predathos and Alyxian/creation of the Netherdeep. ive only skimmed this so far, bc i wanted to finish this episode first, but my mind is blown. this is all so cool!! "this predathos resisted their miracles and hunted them. spawning its own twisted life in its wake as it did. ... it is said that it devoured ethedok... and then vordo" ok so ethedok and vordo can't be apart of predathos... so is vordo not the luxon then...? but if they are, then how come the luxon beacons/dunamancy still work...? or at least clerics who draw their power from the luxon still work. (not writing the quote) but matt says that the titans and gods worked together to make Ruidus, which is the prison where predathos is. soo... Ludinus you fucked up bastard, why are you trying to free them?!?! cause im pretty sure thats what he's trying to do.

side note: im def gonna have my campaign be set before all this happens... or like push it back bc i dont want to have to think about this happening at the same time as the events of the campaign. ill def keep the info in mind... and try to pretend/hide the face that c3 and call of the netherdeep are prob connected from my players...

(3:10:06) so before, we heard that there were three possible places where the leylines align or whatever, one of them was the Hellcatch... I think bc, as the scholar i forget the name of said, people are being called to the Hellcatch valley, that prob means the apogee solstice is gonna happen there out of the three possible locations

(3:11:05) "and otohan found [imogen's mother], and so did the assembly." oh shit. is imogen's mom working with them?!?!?! i hope not

(3:12:24) i kinda love planerider ryn. i like their vibes

(3:13:42) lol ryn can see chetney. also i kinda really want niles and mister to interact...

(3:28:40) ohhhh ok so when ethedok and vordo were eaten, or "consumed" or whatever, their domains got split up and spread around the rest of the gods... interesting. i wonder how the luxon ties into all of this. unfortunately, i doubt that any of the players could in game ask matt because their characters dont know about that

(3:31:00) i wonder if the ruin that ryn is talking about is molaesmyr or aeor or another floating city... also i wonder how the people of avalir are going. like are they still alive, did they turn into something like the cognoza ward?

(3:42:12) OH MY FUCKING GOD MORI IS CALLED THE FATESTITCHER?!?!?

(4:03:05) oh my gosh Mori sounds terrifying... i hope that if bells hells does go to her for help, she actually helps and doesn't mess with anything like she did to make fearne be over 100 years old

(4:04:34) lol they forgot about leaving ashton behind

(4:07:52) OH MY GOSH I LOVE NILES

(4:13:00) FUCK OH FUCK WHO WHAT. ok so yk how the episode ends? with them getting teleported back to the basement, and then someone breaks into the house and then the weird voice being like "you sure theyre here? smell them and find them". WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?! WAS IT THE PERSON FCG CAST FAST FRIENDS ON?!?! WAS IT SOMEONE ELSE?!?!? IS ASHTON OK?!?!?!?

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

i am, fucking in love with your ocs. tell me more about the oh seas crew?

oh ho ho, you have no idea what youve done >:)

(heres what they all look like <2)

so first of all, this story takes place about 30-35 years after my other one, so there's a few easter eggs. like archie and kaya both knowing robert (spence's brother) and talking about echo and nyks. i just feel like that's important to state here

putting the rest of this under the cut because its going to get long

there's two main ships in the story, archie's and kaya's. they used to be co-captains but they went through Shit and it changed them both enough to where they weren't good for each other anymore.

kaya and archie are a really interesting dynamic to me bc they've been married three times and two of the divorces were jokes. the last one was bc kaya almost killed archie by. lighting him on fire. but before the Shit they were pretty much inseparable. i'm talking people woulnd't recognize archie without kaya or kaya without archie.

after the Final Divorce, kaya left the ship and took ryn and pix with him. pix is one of my favorites but he's a pretty horrible creature. it's like a fucked up scientist but cooler bc he has horns. he used to do silly experiments on beau, but then archie took him and scratch onto his ship. ryn is a little more complicated, but i love them just the same, maybe a little more if im being honest. he's like. unhealthily attached to kaya to the point where he would put his life in danger if it meant kaya didn't get a small injury. its also pretty close with pix, but more in the sense that they work together and have had to put up with three divorces and also three weddings (all more complicated than the last)

there's other people on kaya's ship too, bc no way can the three of them keep anything running, but nobody of note here. they dont have official names yet bc im still working out some kinks in the outline

in archie's ship, he's got a few more people of note. torren, holden, trinket, scratch, beau, chrys, silas, and imogen. only torren and trinket were with him for the Divorce, but they all know about it. chrysanthemum (chrys for short), silas and imogen are triplets who were run out of their hometown, trinket is a marinething, torren is like archie's ryn (but less brutal), holden is kinda pix-esque (in the sense that he's a medic and sometimes goes a little overboard) beau and scratch are the Main Guys (well not beau but he is to me) who archie basically kidnapped from kaya's ship and took in as his own. he's closer with scratch though

trinket is one of my beloveds, it's so...*holds so so gently* basically, a marinething is something that i put in my wip bc i wanted something like a mermaid but not like a mermaid. you get it. its about the size of an orca (i think i have a post of what they can look like somewhere on tumblr, i'll have to check) and stays close to the ship. for obvious reasons, it can't go onto the ship, but it learned to communicate with the crew. it named itself and also came up with a last name (scarrow). it likes to collect small trinkets (woah i wonder how it chose its name) it finds and has a small space to keep them on the ship. marinethings have hands, but there's webbing between the fingers. theres subspecies, some of them have tails and some have legs, some flippers and some tentacles. trinket has a tail, so no land for it.

the triplets are inchestering to me, mostly silas bc hes the Main Guy of the three of them. silas is the youngest of them (by a few minutes but still) but he's been the one to protect them all. he's pretty much in love with scratch and would follow her anywhere if it would let him. chrys is the cook, but they're not the best at it. imogen kinda just does everything, she's good like that. chrys and holden are together a lot bc the kitchen is right next to holden's room. imogen is pretty tight with torren since they both keep the ship floating and silas is close with scratch

torren is the first-mate. she keeps everyone alive and sane (though it is hard). she was with archie through all his time with kaya and...she hates kaya with the entirety of her being. she and ryn were pretty close at one point, but after the Shit they drifted apart and now they'd kill each other on sight.

scratch and beau are...so dear to me <2 scratch's name is actually isadora, but kaya gave it to her so she just stopped answering to it and let the crew chose her name. they chose scratch bc of the very large scar across its face. she's pretty much adopted archie as her mentor (NOT her dad though, very important to it that people know that) and will take charge of the ship once hes too old to do it. it's very protective of beau bc of the Stuff they went through on kaya's ship (that nobody knows about except them), so the slightest hint of him freaking out sends her into Kill First Questions Never mode. beau is. my sweetest boy. he's mostly quiet and the only reason he seems so sweet is bc hes been through too much to stand up for himself :( but! he is very soft and can read scratch like a fucking book. they're basically ride or die unless it has to do with kaya, in which case beau will not go anywhere but his room.

one thing abt beau though is that he is my special boy and has never done anything wrong ever <2

the magic system is basically the same as in my other wip but not many on any of the ships have magic. trinket has abilities bc of its being another species, but other than that there's not much to note. torren's mood might affect the waves a bit, but everyone ignores it and they havent tipped over yet. and if scratch should've died a few near-death experiences ago that can be ignored too because surely she'd have told them if it was immortal, right?

archie is. like a feral cat who used to live with an old lady but then the old lady died and he had to fend for himself for a few years until a kid noticed him and started to give him bits of their food but never actually did anything about him and eventually stopped giving him bits of their food. then he got caught by animal control and adopted by a person with a few other cats and is actually pretty chill now if you ignore the random bits of rage and energy. but a dog. he's got fangs (<2) and talks like his nose was broken a lot and never set quite right and oh yeah he's missing an eye. doesn't bother him much as long as nobody comes up on that side and he's ignoring it as hard as he can (it bothers him a lot)

if kaya's a bit of a witch, i wouldn't hold it against him. nothing too big or flashy, just a little hex here and there. a curse on isadora to prove to it that she'll always be alone, sure (its more tethering the equivalent of a demon to her soul). does archie sometimes feel like he's being watched? pretty much always. but that's hardly kaya's fault that archie just leaves pieces of himself everywhere he goes.

ok i think thats it for now, thank you so much for the ask! i had a lot of fun typing this out :)

[kusundei]

im so serious just fucking kill me. or ill kill myself because what the fuck? i know? yoy want me to take running start?? but if i cant go then fucking whatever??? the reason this is a problem is because YOU wont LET ME?????? GO????? im going to fucking blow my brains out you two r both so fucking annoying and two peas in a pod. fuck you guys. genuinely

this is not my fucking fault. and its frustrating me because a part of me feels bad because i wont ever not feel bad even if its not my fault but god fuck that fuck this . i literally folded. i cant change anything about this. if you dont want me to go then i ownt go.? end of story? im sorry im missing out on the credits i cpuldve made doing rynning start its WHY I APPLIED. im just so sick and tired of this . this is not my fault. i had everything planned out you are the ones who make it a problrm. “you failed” okay? im just a fucking failure then??? cause i cant do anything right?? ill always make yoy guys so fucking upset and its alwyas my fault??????? god forbid i try and takr initative and control something for once in my life so you guys dont have to fucking worry wbout it because i have my own plans and im going to graduate soon anyway but noooo. nooo no no. i cant. ill always mess up and ill always fail and theres always a fucking problem oh my god im just going to fucking killcmyself im so sick of this shit

this dumb fucking bitch . no bcuz what the fuck? whats the fucking point then??? i knew when i got back but holy fucking shit is it so annoying when i am constantly treated like im dumb and have no plans and cant do anything with my fucking life. over and over again its always im fucking useless im an idiot i dont plan ahead i dont think. i dont ever fucking think before i do things because i “think too highly of myself and my skills” no??? you just act like im a fucking idiot???? im sorry i odnt reach your high standards of what you want from me but its not like i cant do wnything at all??? youre more stubborn than me if it truly is such a fucking problem then drop it and stop arguing with me. hell i fucking argued with her and i never do that but im so fucking sick and tired of this shit. alwyas always always and then its “just leave then” okay bitch??? then ill fucking go??????????? but no i cant fucking go anywhere at all. she wouldnt let me. its just bullshit and she walks away because shes “going to get too upset” and then acts like its all my fucking fault and im the one still arguing with her no the fuck im not???? id let it go if you leave me alone and YOU let it the fuck go. if i dont go to edmonds then fine. its fine. doesnt fucking change shit it just solidifies the fact im likely to not go to college and if i do then why the fuck is that up to you?? if i go to college im not asking you to pay for shit. id rather go into thousands of dollars into student debt then ask you for a penny. irs easier this way anyway because then i spend all my time at cascade and i can do everything possible to spend all my time w him. i dont need to be ahead. i just feel bad for sav cuz she’ll be there alone but she’ll live. i’ll live.

its hust so fucking frustrating. and the going back and forth over and over again i literally already caved? said i cant change that and i cant just apply at everett now because its closed. if you dont want me driving all the way to edmonds because im “not ready” then so fucking be it. its always “you dont have enlugh practice” is anyone fucking practicing with me??? is anyone LETTING ME practice??? and its always the small things. “yoy didnt check left” why did i need to i was turning right??? im not going into tje fucking left lane???? its a PARKING LOT I CAN FUCKING SEE????? THE YMCA HAS GOOD VISIBILITY? “You keep driving with one hand on the wheel” okay. im going straight. my car is extremely easy to maneuver i dont need both hands. i will use both hands if im locking in but im going 25mph . but no its fucking fine whatever??? fucking whatever. she’ll provably come back in here and yell at me again because i know her she doesnt let thagxshit go and she’ll keep bringing it up even though i literally fucking said no i wont go to edmonds then. i guess its my fuxking fault i listened to my counselor . “you didnt tell me” yes i did????? this dumb fuck i cant do this shit its so fucking annpying. i dont lkke being likr oh i fucking hate my mom but sometimes i truly do. because you r so immature and so stubborn and i dont caretjat yoyre pregnant and whatever . bipolar disorder who cares i never even acknowledge it ever because im not condemning you to that but god youre so annoying. make up your fucking mind ??? its not eben your problem its mine literally fuck off.

im just so annoyed because i literally said no i wont go. but now shes upset im losing college credits and time . okay??? and??? and jonathan is sooo upset. complaining about me to him like i can hear you guys and jts so fuckign annoying. i jdut wont go i cant change that??? icant change? that??? okay??? imsorry??? holy shit im so upset why cant i flee. icant even go anywhere. this dumb fuck holy shit im fucking condemned i hate all of you. i hate. you all. if they do the shit theyre fucking threatening right now im being so serious ill fucking leave. i will ill go im sick of this its been 2 days and ive tried to be soooo kind and not do anythint but fuck this im tired of it already

[goldenkirstein]

hello raf!!! first off, I wanna say that I love your blog and your fics. tysm for sharing them with us you are incredibly talented!

second, do you have other blog/moot recommendations for users who write for jean x reader? I wanna follow all of you you're all so amazing!

only if you can! :) have a nice night!

hi nonnie !! ty for the kind words!! yes i do, some of these are my moots, some are not but regardless they are all incredibly talented writers. there are so so so many writers that have jean fics, but i chose these ones because they have more than a few jean x reader !! these are also just based on my preferences, so if there is a writer not included here, i apologize !!

Please read all of these authors rules/dni’s as ik a few of them interact or post dark content and are 18+ blogs !! respect writers and their rules !!

@whats-her-quirk - what can i say that hasn’t been said, literally the reason i write on here and responsible for the first jean x reader fic i ever read, i love june. Absolutely phenomal, so fucking cool and talented. her writing makes me happy, to put it simply.

my fave fic: midnight ride & below freezing

@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface - the username speaks for itself, again i read her fics when i still was a ghost blog so i am quite sentimental lol, i think she might be working on a jean rockstar au series, im not sure tho, but regardless just a super talented writer !!

my fave fic: sketches of you

@welcometotheclubhoe - jay, oh my god, i love them and their blog, all of their jean fics are so. fucking. amazing. like chef’s kiss, have me sweating, screaming and crying, genuinely need to take a five minute break to walk around my room and contemplate the meaning of life. so yeah, jay’s a jeanius (shhhh i know its cringe)

@bakugohoex - a fellow jean simp, ria is not only the sweetest but just so fucking good at writing jean, fluff, angst and smut, her brain is so big because she’s responsible for one my favourite jean series and playlist tbh ahem:

my fave fic: stay & put on a show

@mikaberries - Mika is also one of the first aot writer blogs I followed, I found her first on tiktok and then followed here. super fucking talented, idk how she does it tbh. also just an all around good person and very sweet, I have nothing but respect and praise for her and her work.

my fave fic: innocent & car quickie

my fave fic: unrequited series

@fiaficsxo - i love fia and her writing, she is so talented and just an absolute gem. she also happens to be another fellow jean simp, which i love ffhkjhg. but fr her jean smut leaves me sweating. 

my fave fic: jersey girl

@seraphdreams - title of blog: jean love club. thats it. what more can i say. ceo of jean simping and being just remarkable, like honestly, seraph was the first one who popped into my mind when i read ur ask nonnie. do me a favour and read all of their jean fics, you will become enlightened.

my fave fic: mornings w/ jean & face sitting

@alert-arlert - genuinely adore ryn, for their writing and their presence here, i really love their headcanons for jean and honestly aside from fics, i really do get happy when i see them on my dash, coolest person ever omg, follow them for the vibes and the amazing writing

my fave fic: jean relationship hc’s & nsfw alphabet

@odmlevis: riz my loveeeee, so talented and so amazing, top notch writing and top notch person, i admire her so much, made me fall in love with fuckboy jean what more can i sayyyyy

my fave fic: jean + friends to lovers & falling in love w/ fuckboy jean

@dancingazaleas - crazy fucking talented, i cannot believe that i can just go to their blog and read for free. like i astral projected when i first read their work, transcended planes, i was dr. strange for like three minutes, thats what sorrels writing did to me. so go forth nonnie, unlock the secrets of the universe.

my fave fic: primrose & obedience (includes eren n mikasa)

@jarmeen: i love jas, they are sooooooo cool and their writing is just next level. just a super sweet individual, and helloooo read the title of their blog, and then read it again because they are right and everyone should go read their works !!

my fave fic: see you again

@valxeren: dilf jean. thats it. two words. deserves the nobel prize just for writing those fics, tbh tht shit changed my life, i was wandering my dashboard lost and unmotivated and then val graced me with dilf jean and im a better person now

my fave fic: clandestine

@kirschtienz: aman makes me happy, i love her, and her writing so much, if i were to choose a piece of writing to hug, it would be hers. i could go for days just praising her and still wouldn’t be enough, like the way she writes is just incredible

my fave fic: frats with benefits

@emepe: i thought to myself one day, hmm it would be nice to have friends to lovers fics for jean, and then tumblr said raf, baby, let me show u something and they pointed me towards mimi and said here is the answer to all your prayers. idk how to thank tumblr but fr only two chapters in and IM HOOKED. go read nonnie, goooo.

my fave fic: you and me and nothing more (includes eren)

i have realized that a good handful of these are smutty bshdsbhbf sorry not sorry. again, im so sorry if i missed anyone these are the writers that i could think of at the moment, and if you yourself are a writer then know that i love you and respect youuuu !!

happy reading nonnie :)

[phoebehalliwell]

what are your thoughts on thruples? cause I keep thinking about Paige/Henry/Coop, especially with Henry and Coop's epic bromance in the comics

ooh that could be very interesting. personally, i'm game for throuples (tho i will say i Hate the word throuple i think it sounds gross just like you know moist or something so i usually just say "poly relationship") but i do kind have beef when it's like. like you know the meme "it doesn't have to be like this [blank] has two hands"? funny meme i do like it but i hate when a poly relationship is just kinda an excuse to merge two couples rather than something that like emerges as distinct relationships between all three parties. like bella edward and jacob as a couple like. shure because bella loves edward and bella loves jacob but jacob and edward really don't like have anything there it's more like roommates who share a girlfriend rather than a poly relationship. one piece of media that i think really did it well was siren on freeform which i highly recommend the first two seasons it kinda goes off the rails s3 and then was cancelled but the first two season it really spends time fleshing out all aspects of the relationships between ben, ryn, & maddie and it also actually goes canon which is lit 🤙🤙

but basically. if i were to do a paige/henry/coop, i think i would start with specifically a paige/coop bromance introduce henry into the mix & let it blossom from there so like. as previously stated. i think each leg of the triangle here needs to be strong n steady on its own so um underneath the cut is i believe a record breaking 6.6k

rip richard but we'll say richard also died in this au rip. and then, of course, kyle also died. idk if he's a whitelighter or not but the point is paige has this weight on her chest like god i can't save these people i can't save the people i love ouch everything hurts

& that's when coop shows up!

and we'll have his introduction plot be a fusion of heartbreak city and the magic hour where coop's got this relationship and it's perfect they're so in love but there's this demonic interference and it's gonna kill one or both of them so he busts down the charmed ones' door like hi you guys are protectors of the innocent right well i have some innocents in dire need of protection

to which this duty gets turfed to paige because piper idk has work and phoebe has a date and phoebe's like i can cancel it to help! and coop's like what no the whole reason i'm here is love go go find love paige can totally handle this

and paige is like :| because she really doesn't want this gig and coop's explaining it all to her how this love is going to be broken up by a magical death unless they stop it and paige is like okay look here coop let's not get our expectations up to high because in my experience almost all relationships end in a magical death and coop’s like !!!

and immediately does like a cupid reading on her and paige is trying to bat him away like ew no i do not need any love guru-ing right now okay let’s just fix your thing and then you can leave okay

and coop’s like no don’t you see? this is fate, the fact that it’s you and me on this, it means i’m meant to be here, i’m meant to help you find love

and paige is like uh no it means piper’s a mother of two and phoebe’s on a date while i am the tragic spinstress of magic school (which is still under her charge just bc it is we didn’t abandon it)

and coop’s like nope. it’s fate. and paige rolls her eyes and coop’s like come on, like you don’t believe in fate and paige is like actually i don’t! and coop just smiles at her bc he knows she’s lying and paige knows she knows he’s lying and she tries to sneer at him but it’s just insanely half hearted bc to be honest her heart kinda skipped a beat with that smile but no

absolutely not

dude, all she gets is cursed love, and now a cupid?

she can’t go through all that she can’t fight for love only to watch him die no she’s gonna ignore it he’s not that cute anyways oh fuck he totally is but whatever!!! doesn’t matter

so blah blah blah paige and coop save the day including one moment where idk there’s an explosion or something they have to dodge something hide for attackers something where they get thrown up against a wall faces inches apart from each other breathing heavy undeniably a moment which they both Immediately break because wooooah that is a little too much chemistry!! better act like that never happened

and you know next episode or whatever coop’s like okay let’s find you love!! and paige is like not now i’m at work and coop’s like in an alleyway and paige is like i need to look after my charge and then after that i need to grade papers and after that i need to order cauldrons and after that-

and coop’s like find love?

and paige is like no. i need to.... but um she forgot the rest of her list

and coop’s like find love excellent sounds great!

and paige is like anyone ever tell you you’re really annoying and coop’s like nope i’m a cupid :0)

and blah blah blah they’re arguing and something something w paige’s charge and paige is like i gotta go talk to him but coop holds her back because wait who’s that approaching him and paige is like fuck that must be his parole officer bc idk he’s doing something that is obviously breaking parole and paige is like aaaaaaa what do we do and then it’s a henry face reveal and both paige and coop are like woah.

but then paige is storming off trying to like try to fight henry and henry’s like what the fuck is this?? and coop’s running up like hi i’m also here and speed’s like i-cannot stress this enough-do not know any of these people and coop’s like you don’t know us yet and paige is like you can’t do this speed’s a good kid and speed’s like yeah!!

and henry’s like he was so very obviously breaking parole and paige is like he’s a kid and henry’s like a kid who’s been to juvie!! twice!!! and who should know the damn rules by now

and paige is like look something something clever talk bargaining whatever puts something of her own at stake and henry’s like you’re really gonna risk it all on this kid and paige is like yes. he’s destined for greatness. and speed is like yeah!! and henry’s like fine. whatever. but when the other shoe drops, you know like i’m gonna cash in whatever wager paige made here

& he leaves

and speed’s like thanks also who are you and idk we get a paige monologue something full of love and spirit and coop’s also there still and speed’s listening to this monologue kinda like um okay bc honestly? just met her five minutes ago this is kind of a lot but coop’s listening to this monologue like wow😍

so idk speed leaves and coop’s like hey so do you pick a fight with all the guy’s you find attractive and paige is like what

and coop’s like well i’m just saying you know with richard with kyle with me and now with henry i’m kinda sensing a pattern there

and paige is like did you just include yourself on that list and coop’s like i mean yeah duh

and paige kinda wants to argue back but her blush is giving her away so it’s best just to change the subject so what you think i should be going for the parole officer?

and coop’s like yes! didn’t you feel it there was a spark there passion energy something that with the help of yours truly can easily turn into love and paige is like yeah no. absolutely not.

and coop’s like come on why not he was hot and paige is like yeah well if he’s so hot why don’t you date him and coop pauses like hmm like genuinely consider and paige is like don’t do that

and coop’s like why not and paige is torn between don’t date him because i actually did feel that spark and i do kinda like him and also don’t date him because if you’re gonna date anyone it should be me but both those are too embarrassing to say out loud to her cupid so instead she just says conflict of interest

and we flash forward to later idk when the point is speed is doing graffiti on public property but not just like stupid pointing a spray can at something la la la like proper graffiti like an artform but as it is unfortunately public property that is Illegal so it breaks parole

so idk henry’s there and busts him and paige senses speed’s in trouble so she shows up and henry’s like good you’re here. i’m not actually gonna cash in the thing that you wagered because that’d be unfair, because i know the kid, i know that he always let’s you down and speed’s like hey man

but paige is looking up at the wall and she’s like don’t you get it and henry’s like ...no and paige is like it’s art. it’s a release, it’s a coping mechanism and speed’s like idk that’s all sounding a little bit pretentious for a bit of graffiti and paige is like you can’t arrest him for this and henry’s like it’s literally illegal. & i already let him walk once what part of this aren’t you getting

and then there’s like a. idk cop radio thing i don’t know how police work that’s talking about how whatever gang speed used to run with just robbed some place but they’re hot on their tail bc their getaway driver sucks and henry’s looking at speed bc speed Is the getaway driver hence the name and henry’s like how come you aren’t driving that car huh

and speed just shrugs and henry’s like no how come you’re not driving that car what you swap out one crime for another you’re getting busted either way and speed like shrugs 

and paige is like he’s creating art instead and henry’s like did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speed shrugs and henry’s did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speeds like yes man they did i said no and henry looks up at the art

and it’s some super nail on the head craving freedom thing a bird breaking free from a cage type shit and it’s gorgeous

and henry looks at paige like what are you, huh

and paige is like freelance guardian angel

and henry just uncuffs speed and speed’s like what are you doing and henry’s like go. next time you do this find a wall that isn’t public property

and speed can’t help it he kinda smiles n runs off and henry just looks at paige bc what the hell has this girl gotten into him bc normally he’s just got such a concrete shell but she’s smiling at him like he just made the right choice and he’s really gotta fight the urge to smile back. what the fuck

so he says something stupid and leaves

and later paige is doing something when boom coop is here invading her personal bubble bc that’s become their new mode of communication is there are one thousand empty chairs and coop is seated in one paige will walk over and sit on that same chair that’s how they operate bc again there’s this sense of longing for one another and they both know they can’t go for it so instead they just opt for this intense intimacy passed off as friendship

and paige is like met the parole officer again and coop’s like oh henry mitchell? and paige is like how do u know his full name and coop’s like did my research<3 and they’re talking blah blah blah idk and it’s both how to land a date with this guy and also heavy flirting at the same time. and then like phoebe walks into the room and they snap apart like magnets with the same polarity i think?? been a while since the fifth grade and their language just becomes so much more stifled

to which phoebe is vaguely aware and this is a change but we as the audience are super aware it’s a change meaning that their constant flirty banter is a choice on both parts they are both very consciously doing this

and then i don’t know there’s something bigger going on in the main plot which has been building and the main villain needs something magical from each type of being so a cupid’s next on the grocery list so idk coop is either out minding his own business getting coffee or he’s out on reconnaissance on henry when all of a sudden he’s attacked!! by idk an arrow seems convenient honestly we should do a bow and arrow an homage to in original cupid iconography

and henry’s in proximity and sees this and idk maybe they’re somewhere where there aren’t that many people just so you know u can be attacked by a bow and arrow and henry’s like what the fuck!??!?! running over to help him and he vague recognizes him as the angel’s friend but is mainly like holy shit did you just get shot with a bow and arrow and henry’s like i’ll call an ambulance i’ll drive u to the hospital

and coop’s like no no uhh can’t go with the whole i am actually a magical being i exist in no databases and also have no money so instead goes with the i have no health insurance and henry’s like hmm. fuck.

so the next thing you know coop’s on henry’s couch and henry’s doing rudimentary first aid and coop’s really trying to hobble away because if he can just get to paige she can heal this because she unlocked that power in like s5 or s6 in a more natural progression but henry’s not letting him leave because dude you have an arrow in your chest

and now we’re doing the hurt comfort schtick with the meaningful glances and also coop is shirtless bc well you know Arrow In Chest and he’s also in henry’s apartment which is offering a very weird sense of intimacy

and there’s also this kind of banter going because coop’s like no i’m fine i can leave this is fine and henry’s like dude. please let me at least try to help you and after that you can walk right out of here and go repuncture your lung. but just. while you’re. let me do what i can

and coop’s like okay because like. well i mean a) gotta keep up appearances like he’s mortal and b) henry’s kinda fine so sure he can play doctor what’s the worse that can happen

and henry’s like okay we gotta get this arrow out of you so um. any ideas on how to do that? and coops like yeah break off the feathered part and then pull the rest through

and henry’s just like yeah? you have experience with this? and coop’s like once or twice and henry’s like what do you do?

and coop’s like ... relationship therapist

and henry’s like are relationship therapists frequently attacked by archers and coop’s like yeah more often than you’d think 

and henry removed the arrow and the actual point stabby bit of the arrow is shaped like a heart just for funsies bc it’s for cupids but henry’s looking at this like relationship therapist hunting arrow??

anyways. henry is pressing some bandages against coop’s chest to staunch the bleeding and there’s a Moment there to which henry kinda falters because woah gay thoughts?? and the pressure lightens but then o shit i’m lightening the pressure don’t do that!! so he pushes hard and coop’s like aa!! and henry’s like fuck jesus and coop just kinda laughs like i guess you don’t patch up arrow wounds that frequently and henry’s like yeah actually you’re my first!!

something something something coop’s patched up and henry gives him once of his shirts because coop’s shirt had to be cut off him bc of the arrow and we get one of the classic how to i look / starstruck moments because hell yeah we do

and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah coop makes it home and paige is like where in god’s name did u get that shirt bc it looks nothing like what coop would wear in fact in kinda reminds her of

believe it or not, henry

hot parole officer henry?

the one and only

and paige is like you slept with him??? and coop’s like close. i was shot with an arrow and he patched me up

and paige is like !!! because you know main plot evil all this that coop takes off henry’s shirt so paige can see the wound and heal it and she’s looking at henry’s handiwork and it really is the old college try but that man is not a medic so now paige is laying her hand on coop’s bare chest and phoebe walks in and immediately turns on a heel like i’ll give you guys some space!!

and paige is like no it’s fine i’m healing him he was shot main plot and phoebe’s like oh

and then later phoebe’s talking with paige like okay you and coop tho. bc like. ik ik healing or whatever. but like. 👀👀.

and tbh paige has been waiting for this because she really needs to unpack bc like i know!! because coop and i have this thing and it’s a great thing but it like can’t be a thing it’s a forbidden thing but i want it to be a thing but at the same time there’s this other guy and i can’t get him off my mind and i’m worried i’m just viewing him as a safer alternative instead of coop but like. idk he was just my backup i feel like i would be more lukewarm about it. but i’m not. like. i’m really not i kind wish i was because i don’t know if i can do a relationship again especially because he’s mortal like i can’t have someone i care for die again so maybe it’s safer just to keep what i have with coop or maybe even to explore that further? and keep henry safe? but like this and that and this and that

and phoebe’s like buzzing because it’s been a while since she’s had such an interesting love mess to tinker with so the first thing she does is go to coop just to see what she can sus out there Meanwhile paige is with speed where you ask? p3. well, outside of it

speed is painting the side of the club with this amazing artwork and clearly there’s this vein of magic running through it with certain symbols all that and he’s using paintcans and paige has her paintbrush and is adding smaller pieces as well

and she’s like hey where’d you get like that idea or thing idea because they’re all like. runes or magical somethings or others and speeds like idk. saw it in a dream maybe.

and henry rolls up because he stopped at the manor looking for paige and piper directed him here and he’s just like. like he sees this amazing work and it’s a big heart full moment and paige and speed finish up and speed adds his little signature at the bottom and leaves and henry says he’s proud of him and speed acts like he doesn’t care but he does

so henry’s like hey how’s your friend and paige is like coop? yeah, no he’s totally fine and henry’s like really???

and paige is like yeah no um. my brother in law! is an army medic. so um. he was able to. yeah : ) which isn’t technically a lie because leo was he’s just also kinda frozen in a block of ice now so whoops

and henry’s like that’s good but the real reason he’s her it to like thank paige for you know like. seeing the light like maybe henry has become too bitter and jaded so it’s good to know that there are freelance guardian angels out there keeping the balance and you know watching out for these kids so thank you for just like. being a good person.

and he also looks at her art and he’s like this your coping mechanism and paige is like yeah [tragic backstory swap time!!] and both paige and henry kinda realize how they’re like almost mirrors to each other and henry kisses her and paige kisses him back but then stops because she likes him too much which means he’s gonna die

so she’s like sry i gotta go and henry’s like oh :\ because um. well. whoops. because like. god he so rarely goes out on a limb like that and for one moment there it felt like it was all gonna align like he wasn’t gonna get ditched but paige’s green punchbuggy is already peeling out of the lot so guess not

so phoebe’s determined that coop is indeed in love with paige so all that needs is a little nudging okay she’s on mission time to go

and then next thing you know paige is storming in all in a tizzy because she kissed henry and coop’s like this is great news and paige is like no this is bad news! and coop’s like ???

and paige is like no you don’t understand it’s like i’m cursed because whenever i love someone whenever i truly love someone they die and that kiss....... it was..... i can’t have henry die

and coop is like on full cupid mode idk a cupid monologue blah blah blah love <3 and it kind of heals paige both in a sense that it quells her worries but also in a sense that being around coop always seems to make her feel better like she just feels warmer feels safer when he’s around so um. she should probably. figure something out about that. esp in regards to henry. right?

anyways. coop for some reason or another runs into henry again (call it fate) and henry’s like hey r u okay? and coop’s like yeah : ) ! and thank you, by the way, for um patching me up and stuff and henry’s like yeah no problem but um look can i ask you a favor and coop’s like sure

and henry’s like you’re a relationship therapist right and coop’s like yeah 99% sure he knows where this is going and henry’s like like family and relationship counselling and coop’s now only like 40% sure he knows where this is going and he’s like sure and henry’s like great okay so um i’ve got this parolee who [plot background story idk there needs to be some familial healing something or other] is there like. anyway you can help out with that

and coop’s like totally!! and henry’s like oh thank god because like. therapy expensive.

and now we get another one of those moments like seeing someone in their element henry sees coop as he goes basically full cupid but rather than romantic love it’s familial and henry’s like in awe and he’s also kind like wow okay i’d totally make out with that guy like right now but like. like he just kissed paige. and he knows coop and paige are friends. so like. like he can’t do that right? is that too weird?

so family therapy a success and like as established forging bonds of love strengthens cupids so coop’s like word you know if you ever need this on a more regular basis and henry’s like i promise you’re gonna regret offering that and coop’s like not a chance and henry’s like i really have like nothing to pay you with and coop’s like you make these kids lives better. i don’t need payment and henry looks over and gets is Own aha moment of oh i do have a purpose and also i love my job type thing

but. there is another task at hand. because like. are you and paige?? like??

and coop’s like me and paige??? and he’s about to say no because no they’re not but now he’s thinking about it and they are kinda more than they are not but henry’s not asking about the minutiae of it so now henry’s just watching him go on this face journey before going why do you ask : ) and henry’s like no nothing i just thought like well i don’t know what i thought

and coop’s like haha yeah well you know it’s um. haha yeah! you know how it is. i mean. paige is amazing and henry’s like yeah she really is and coop’s like yeah and like she’s just got all this love in her heart and henry’s like i know!! and she’s so smart like you should see what she’s done with speed she got him this place where he can put up his own art and like blah blah blah and at this point it is just coop and henry praising paige to each other for about five minutes before they kinda realize what’s going on and they’re like hmm. well this is kinda weird. cuz now we both kinda sound in love with her.

and coop’s like listen. i know paige really likes you. like a lot

and henry’s like woah i’m gonna stop you there because um. like. i mean i don’t wanna sound weird but like. like we did kiss and then she kinda just ran off and i mean literally ran hopped into her car drove away type thing so. i don’t really think so. so :\

and coop’s like no i mean like okay yeah that did happen but dude you’ve gotta understand she’s had so much loss and henry’s like no i know she told be about her parents and coop’s voice gets real low leans in because this is Top Secret information and he’s like it goes beyond that and henry’s like what and coop’s like her past two boyfriends both died. one from a heart attack, the other was hit by a car (well, no richard was not hit by a car but when all the magic inside you fucks you up that bad evidently the wreck that’s left kinda looks like you were hit by a semi. ouch) and coop’s like so paige kinda just. thinks she’s cursed.

and henry’s like oh. because my god. that’s a lot to process. and that like. like makes so much sense because like if that happened to him he really wouldn’t be able to date again hell that did not happen to him and he’s already barely able to date bc of how afraid he is of getting hurt

but coop’s out here like henry it’s not you like i promise she really likes you i mean you’re a good man and you’re brave and you’re passionate and like you’re hot, obviously and coop theoretically starts complimenting henry from paige’s point of view but then it very clearly starts to dissolve into coop’s pov and we’re still riding that chemical high of the In Your Element passion henry has for coop added onto the good person bonus of yes i’ll continue to help you with this endeavor for literally no benefit and now he’s just rattling off compliments to henry and henry’s just like oh jeez 😳😳🥰

and there’s just like. the briefest moment of henry’s eyes darting down to coop’s lips and coop’s daze is kinda broken and he realizes that he’s just been telling henry how foioine he is to his face and there’s a moment spellbound lookin into each others eyes like damn this is kinda gay & then they’re making out

and then henry’s like ohhh my god what am i doing what have i done oh know because you’re paige’s friend you like paige and i kissed her earlier today and now i’m oh my god this is a bad idea right? this is a bad idea?

and coop’s thinking on it because like okay he has been trying to pair paige and henry together a) because they’d be cute together and she clearly likes him but also b) because he really likes her and he can’t be with her bc he’s a cupid so at least if she’s with someone else who she loves he can be happy knowing she’s happy. but now he’s here with henry and he shouldn’t be because Again he’s trying to pair paige with henry and he can’t be with henry bc as previously stated cupids can’t actually have relationships but he shouldn’t even be thinking that because henry isn’t for him but even if he was which he isn’t it wouldn’t work because he’s a cupid so um. yeah. this is a bad idea

yeah

yeah

no they’re makin out again.

anyways. l8r at p3 someone else who owns a local business sees the art on the wall outside and is like yo who did that because i would totally pay them to do idk my food truck or something and piper’s like i’ll tell u exactly who did that

so idk i think legally since speed’s a minor and a parolee henry has to be involved in the job getting process actually wait speed just turned 18. idk what any of this means but we’ll say henry needs to be there so piper gave paige the food truck guys digits and paige passes on the news to speed and henry and like. paige shows up at henry’s office to be like good news!!

and to level with you henry thought that like. after making out with coop maybe his feeling for paige would dissipate like maybe he was secretly gay this whole time and paige was just a safe route to project those feeling but paige comes in with this smile that puts the goddamn stars to shame and henry’s like nope!! still in love with her!!

and paige is like okay because like this is all set you know like this could even lead to a career in art for speed like and henry’s like yes absolutely but now that the initial glow of that has worn off they’re both kinda remembering that the last time they saw each other they kissed and then paige bolted so yeah they should probably address that

and paige is like look i want to apologize for just kind of. running out the other day. that really wasn’t. it wasn’t right and i know this sounds dumb but it really wasn’t about you i’m just i’ve been in this weird place and i do like you henry like i really do so i don’t want you to think 

and henry’s like i feel like i kind of apologize too because i kinda made out with your friend and paige pauses because like she really has no friends well i guess besides coop but like there’s and henry tacks on coop to clarify and paige just snorts laughing

like she has no idea why that’s so funny but it just kinda is like. what!!

and henry’s like yeah but it was like. it’s. he really likes you paige he really does care for you i mean i really care for you too and henry’s kind of playing both sides here because he does like. really like paige. and that’s why he wants her to be happy and it’s her choice who she feels who she’d be most happy with whether that’s hm or coop because honestly coop is p amazing henry wouldn’t be burnt losing to him because coop is a great guy and paige is just watching him ramble smiling and henry realizes he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore so he just kind of trails off and gets kind of lost in paige’s smile because like. wow : )

and paige is just kind of there processing that information because um wow who could have seen this coming and honestly she’s still not over coop kissing henry that’s just so unbelievable entertaining to her she’s so gonna hafta prod coop about it later because dude what?? what? bro. bro. bro. like. like the two guys she’s in love with kissed like bro what!!!! lmao she would pay money to see that how tf did that happen. she would have loved to have been there. that’s insane. she really wished she was there. like. really wished she was there. hmm. should she stew on that a little more?

and henry’s like. this is awkward. i’m sorry. i don’t want things to be weird between us. and paige is like henry i think things have been weird between us since i first picked an argument with you in an alleyway. and henry’s like true!! and they’re laughing and there’s a beat and henry’s like i think i fell in love with you in that moment. and paige is like yeah?

and henry’s just. i mean like. look at her <3 but like. she deserves. like she deserves the best there is and he’s just some guy like some jaded hardass who lives in a crappy apartment and who always forgets how to do the right thing it seems not to mention all his fucking baggage like. she deserves better. 

and paige sees him kinda retreat and like she kind of pulls out of the moment too because she loves henry she does but like that fear that he’s gonna die is still there and she wants to fight it she just doesn’t know if she can but like. she really really does like him.

and now they’re both standing there again another moment turned to dust in the wind now they’re just two people standing there incredibly normal about it yep just two people nope paige is kissing henry ope okay yep they’re making out and boom someone’s knocking on henry’s office door o quick act natural because hi henry heard you needed like the legal paperwork because speed’s getting a job here you go and henry’s like 👍 thank you very obviously flushed and his coworker is like. what the fuck is going on in that office. but like. doesn’t really care enough to find the answer to that question.

so paige is like you should come to p3 l8r tonight to like celebrate speed getting a job blah blah blah blah and henry’s like i will be there

so later paige is getting dolled up in a fire outfit just adding the final touches when coop shows up bc phoebe said you needed to see me? (with phoebe’s strategy fully being in mind that paige looks hella fly right now but also is still in the manor an area paige and coop have kind of curated as their space also like once she goes to p3 it’s simply too loud too crowded to have a heart to heart like what is about to happen here which she would listen all unfold but piper unfortunately dragged her away to help with the boys but i’m sure it’s all going well)

and paige is like ....nope. and coop’s like ah. well. you look great. going to see henry? which he asks that question like he’s walking on very thin ice and paige is like yeah and i gotta say i can’t believe you kissed henry before you ever kissed me and coop just laughs like well!!

and paige is laughing too but there’s this undercurrent of you still haven’t kissed me :/ and coop’s like i take it henry told you and paige is like yep. and then made a very convincing campaign in your favor on how you’re evidently in love with me and you’re probably my better option, he loves me, too, but just can’t seem to hold a candle to you

and coop’s laughing and he’s like that sounds like something henry’d say, he’s really. he’s got a lot of love he just doesn’t seem to think he’s worth it.

and paige is like you think he’s worth it though

and coop’s like i do. you think he’s worth it too. and paige is like i do.

and there’s a moment of stillness because what the fuck are any of them doing and paige is like we can’t keep doing this. and coop’s like gonna hafta be a bit more specific there because i think i’ve broken more rules than i can count in the past 24 hours. and paige is wanna make that one more and coop’s like !? and then paige kisses him and coop’s like okay now’s the time where i would really love some clarification

and paige is like. well. i had to kiss you, right? and coop’s like sure? and paige is like because i’ve wanted to for the longest time because i keep pretending like i’m not in love with you because well you know you know me better than almost anyone else but like. i also love henry. and so i had to kiss you. as a test.

and coop’s like ...did i pass?

and paige is like that wasn’t the test and coop’s like what was and paige is like i don’t know. to see where my love is. to see if i love you or if i love henry or if it’s all just infatuation and relfections distorting how i feel and coop’s like okay. so... what’s the answer?

and paige is like i love henry. but then she kisses coop again and is like but i think i love you, too. and they’re doing that thing where they lack bubble space when they talk i mean paige’s head is basically on his chest and coop’s hands are on her waist and coop’s like okay. so where do you want to go from here.

because he’s a cupid you know his top priority is love in its purest form so if like paige’s love for henry like outweighs her love for him he will pretend not to be crushed and move on like he will. he’s saying he’ll do anything in the name of love but really he’ll just do anything for paige.

and paige is like i think you should kiss henry again and coop laughs and he’s like don’t joke about that because complete candor i totally would he is... amazing

and paige is like yeah, i know, and i’m not joking and it kind of clicks for coop like !! polyromanticism!!

anyways. paige And coop go to p3 and henry’s there and sees paige And coop and he’s like uh oh oh no because if paige chose coop like he’s happy for them he really is except he’s also kind of not because then he kind of loses paige And coop and um. that’s kind of a two hit KO. but wait!! that is not the case! what’s this??

anyways. quirky hijinks of sorts when phoebe sees that paige came home with henry and she’s like damn. my plan failed. and the next morning piper’s like i see ur plan worked and phoebe’s like yeah no need to rub it in and piper’s like ??? dude paige totally hooked up with coop last night and phoebe’s like no?? that was the other guy that was henry

and piper’s like that was definitely coop?? and phoebe’s like piper not every tall man with dark hair looks the same and piper’s like no shit do you think i don’t know what coop looks like he practically lives here and phoebe’s like yeah that’s how i know the guy paige brought home w her was Not Coop and piper’s like do you need new glasses and phoebe’s like shut up i’m right and piper’s like no ur not!!

and later that day they’re like. all brewing a potion in the attic and like while we have you here...... did you hook up with henry or coop last night and phoebe’s like because piper thought it was coop when i very clearly saw henry and piper’s like yeah phoebe hasn’t been sleeping well lately i think she’s started seeing things so go ahead prove me right and paige is just laughing like okay so i guess i gotta introduce u guys to my 2 boyfriends

[captainderyn]

Fictober Day 7 “Well, that could’ve gone better” [I Was Lost Without You]

Category: Fanfiction

Fandoms: Mass Effect (undefined ME2 but with the Mako)

Pairings: Garrus/Femshep

Rating: Teen and up

CW: Swearing

AO3 LINK

—

"That could have gone better."

Ryn drove the Mako like she was a drunk, blind, rabid, raccoon.

Not considering himself the particularly religious type, Garrus clutched the arm rests, feeling the seatbelt jerk against his chest and slip and slide across his armor, and prayed to every deity he could think of.

His stomach launched itself into the air in flips as Ryn flung them off another drop. The Mako rattled and shuddered as it hit the ground, the suspension bouncing them up and down.

“Shepard!” he barked. “What. Are. You. Doing?”

“Driving.” Ryn ground out, hands clutching the steering wheel as she plunged them into another pothole. The navigation map on the Mako flickered in and out, their marker appearing and disappearing, “But I can’t tell where the damn thing wants us to go.”

He grabbed the ‘oh shit’ bar by the door, gripping it like his life depended on it.

He loved her dearly, but his life may very well depend on the singular plastic bar.

“Maybe not off a cliff.” He suggested, “Or into every hole on this planet? You’re going to blow the wheel off.”

“Vakarian,” She snapped, letting go of the steering wheel with one hand. Garrus stared at it, and stared at her, and wondered if she had truly gone mad, “Do you want to drive?”

Garrus highly considered it, almost had the words ‘Maybe I should’ in his mouth when he caught a very large, very bright blue flash out of the corner of his eye. One that became increasingly larger the closer they barreled to it.

“Ryn.” he started, eyes widening as his optical visor focused in on it, “Ryn! Thresher maw!”

“Fuck—“ Ryn shouted, slamming on the breaks.

Out of instinct, Garrus threw his arm out to keep her from slamming into the dash as the thresher maw shot out right below them.

Right below them.

The Mako rolled, armor clattering and some manner of alarm beginning to ding.

Much like Garrus, Ryn’s arm braced out across him, though in the rolling her gauntlet glad forearm nearly took him out at the throat.

Tentacles of the thresher maw were already slamming th side of the Mako as Ryn busted the door open, tumbling out.

By the time Garrus untangled himself, she was already a blur of biotic energy, the ground shaking as she leapt into the air and slammed into it. The biotic energy rushed over Garrus, sending him stumbling back a step.

The thresher maw’s tentacles retracted with an agonized scream. Garrus already had his assault rifle out and fired beam after beam into the creature. Ryn had her pulse rifle out, the energy beam slamming into the beast.

There were very few times that Garrus saw her pull a weapon out that wasn’t her shotgun or her pistol.

He couldn't help but think they were a little bit fucked.

“Ryn!” he shouted, taking cover behind the Mako as the thresher maw spewed its vile goo towards them. Ryn threw up a biotic barrier and kept firing, the goo dissolving it almost instantly. Some of it landed on her armor and he could hear it sizzling from his position.

“Do we have a plan?”

Ryn threw a look over her shoulder, hair whirling around her face in the wind. They hadn’t put their helmets on yet, the hot air too oppressive to stomach wearing them in the Mako.

They should really start.

“Right now?” she called back to him, throwing out a hand to send a biotic field barreling into the maw, “Survive, preferably.”

Naturally.

She was crazy. Absolutely, beautifully, batshit crazy.

The turians would love her and love to hate her.

Somehow, miraculously they survived. Battered and bruised and panting, but alive.

He wanted to grab Ryn and kiss her silly when she gave a mighty, thrilled whoop when the maw shrieked and collapsed to the ground.

Absolutely unhinged.

“Well!” Ryn smacked her hand into the side of the Mako, hopping over it. Together, they pushed the lightweight vehicle back onto its wheels, where it smoked and puffed and looked downright miserable.

“I’d say that that could’ve gone better.”

Garrus snorted, arm slipping around her waist so he could kiss her cheek. And add a little bite for good measure. She squawked out a noise of indignance before he plopped a bag of tools that he pulled from the wreckage into her arms.

“That’s an understatement.” he tried to give her his best, this situation could’ve been avoided look, but couldn’t even manage a modicum of serious frustration, “From now on, I’m driving.”

[katsuukiwii]

a lil thing for ryns bday

Surfer! Armin X Biker! Gn! Reader

ha-ha ryn i showed you this but secretly i did this mainly because its your bday! HOLY SHIT I LOVED THIS S O M U C H im definitely making this a lil mini series

also there IS longboards for skateboarding AND surfing. You’ll get it later-

Armin smiles, a surfboard tucked under his arm as he makes his way to the water, “Hey, Hange!” He watches as his crazy, brunette friend turns around, waving frantically, “Yo, Armin! Glad you could join us! Onyankopon should be here soon!” You watch from afar, marvelling at the blonde’s tan skin, caused by being in the sun for hours at a time. His baby blue eyes sparkling as they looked at the sea. Suddenly, a voice behind you makes you jump, “What are you doin’ here? Are they messin’ with you?”

“Ah, Reiner! Heh, hey big bro! No, they weren’t, I was just-”

“Watching them? I’m telling you, surfers are nothing but babies. Too soft to be around us. Now cmon, Bert’s waiting for us.”

“Oh...okay.” You walk away with Reiner, turning back once more only to see those baby blue eyes staring at you. He waves with a small smile, making you flustered, waving back before quickly leaving.

“Min? Min!” Armin jumps, looking back at the smaller woman, “Sorry Pieck, what is it?”

“You were staring at them. What’s their name again?”

“(Y/N),” another nod from the petite woman, “Alright, if you like them you should-”

“No way!” Jean cuts in, “Biker’s are dangerous! They’re way too rude, and they’re REINER’S SIBLING! Don’t risk it, man.”

“I don’t know Jean,” Marco cuts in, “Those two really seem to like each other! It’s kinda cute!”

/T/I /M/ E/S/K/I/P/

You sigh, hopping off of your motorcycle, the starry night sky luminating the ocean amazingly. You take off your boots, feeling the sand before walking up to the water, letting it wash over feet as you watch in wonder. You toss your boots back, along with your jacket and t-shirt, leaving you in just a tank top. You roll your pant legs up to about mid calf before stepping in further. Quickly, you pause, gasping and moving away as you felt something pointy at your foot.

“What? Is something there?” Armin cuts in, walking up to you in just his swim trunks, kneeling and feeling around before picking something up, “Oh! It’s an urchin. Good thing you didn’t step on it, that would’ve sucked for both of you.” You stare shocked as Armin walks away, setting it back in the water, farther from you, wondering how the hell he handled that so casually. “That one just likes being in shallow water! Don’t worry, it doesn’t happen often. Just keep an eye out.”

“Uhm, okay...” You step forward slowly, waving your foot across the ground slowly, making sure you wont step on anything. A chuckle from the blonde makes you pause, “...What?”

“You don’t have to be THAT cautious! It’s okay, here,” he reaches his hand out, grabbing yours and bringing you with him until you were both about knee deep in the water. You look away, suddenly feeling shy, and embarrassed, “Sorry...I don’t go in the water often. I don’t even know how to swim.”

“Oh yeah? Well, if you want I could teach you sometime.” A small smirk is on his face, but it’s not exactly mischievous or lustful, but more...hopeful.

“You asking me out, Arlert?” You raise a brow, smiling as he looks down, “Maybe I am, (L/N). What are you gonna do?”

“Well, for starters, this,” You splash some water at him, making him jump for the cold water. He laughs as he takes some water, splashing it back at you, wetting your shirt. You gasp, covering yourself, “Armin, watch out! God, you’re such a pervert!” His eyes widen, confused and shocked at your change in attitude, “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-” He sputters, suddenly getting some salt water to the face, luckily getting none in his eyes, but trying to rid the taste from his mouth.

“You jerk, you tricked me!”

“Yeah, but your reaction was priceless!” You laugh, running out of the water and onto the land as he chases you, running around the sand with you, laughing. Thanks to his speed, it doesn’t take long for him to get you, pinning you down, “I got you! I win!” 

You both continue to laugh, eventually calming yourselves down before you look up at him, “That was fun, thank you.”

Just as he’s about to thank you as well, you lean up, pressing your lips to his, making his breath hitch and his eyes widen. Quickly, he gives in, closing his eyes and kissing you back. You too keep this going before pulling away for air, Armin gasping softly.

Finally, you speak, “So? You plan on teaching me how to swim. When will I get to see your ‘longboard’?” You smile, sending him a wink as he laughs, looking away, his face red as a tomato, “That was stupid.”

“You loved it.”

“Yeah, I really did.”

// // //

Taglist:

@puredivinity​ @onyx-wyvern​ @alert-arlert​ 

Message me to be added to the taglist!

[sageblogsthings]

to celebrate The Crimson Moon reaching 30k as of this morning, i thought that i would share the progression of the opening lines of the book, and talk a bit about how the book has grown and changed in the last year! on july 27th it will be exactly a year since i first started writing this and wow i’m not getting emotional you are aha whaaaat

*cough* anywayyysss!!

draft one: please oh god don't judge me

ok i'm not going to talk negatively about my past writing because it got me to where i am today but. [marge i am looking away meme] if you can't tell, i wrote this when i was going through the existential crisis phase of uni and just wanted to live in the woods, i say like i would not currently move to the woods in a heartbeat asdklfja

at the time that i wrote this i was really happy with it because the writing was fun and, as a result, easy! at this point i was just writing in my down time from uni, and i didn't know what the plot was or what my plans were for the book as a whole. because this was just something i did in my down time, i think my writing took on more of a conversational, stream-of-consciousness tone, and that's part of what made this draft (or start of a draft, i only got like 12k in i think) so easy to write. but eventually, as the plot started to come together and i started to gain more inspiration from sff writers as a whole, i realized that this book wasn't heading in the direction i wanted it to. it wasn't just something to do in my free time at that point, it had taken on a life of it's own. and thus, draft two began.

draft two: electric boogaloo

ngl these lines still slap and i love them. there are definitely things i would change, but these lines will be in the current draft of the book, albeit not in the first chapter and altered slightly. when i started this draft, i didn't have an outline but i had a very clear, cinematic image of how i wanted this chapter to go. i think having that before i started writing helped a looooot, both in terms of prose and just being able to convey aspects of the setting/character in the first paragraph. as i continued writing this draft though, i realized that some of the character arcs didn't make sense or were getting a bit messy, and that, based on the story i wanted to tell, it didn't make sense to start with Xalia. while there are six main pov characters in this book, Vanna really is the main character and i wanted that to be clear.

draft three: this time it's personal actually good

these are the current first lines of the book, and honestly my favorite so far! starting off with Vanna rather than Xalia definitely gives the book a different feel, and it's one that's more true to the vision i have for it. in my opinion, this opening does a much better job of setting up some of the book's themes, which admittedly i'm still figuring out lol. grief and loss are major components of all the character arcs, and are integral to the plot itself. switching to present tense has also been a LIFE CHANGER for me. it's funny because, on the second stab at this book, i kept slipping into present tense, but forcing myself back to past tense because i thought present tense sounded weird. turns out it only sounded weird because it was surrounded by past tense, and now that i've written 3 chapters in present tense i can solidly say that this is the way the book was meant to be written. it just feels like my book now, and i'm so happy with where it's headed!

i also made an outline for this draft of the book, and while i've already deviated from it somewhat to work out plot holes or increase ~foreshadowing~ in certain scenes, getting all of the events out of my head and onto paper has really allowed me to just write because i know that i have a document to refer back to if i get stuck on where the story is headed. making the outline also really pushed me to think about character backstories, most of which i had previously established, but now they've changed a lot to fit together more cohesively and integrate with the plot more clearly. i've also changed a lot of the character designs, and as a result of changing the appearances and backstories of a lot of the characters, i feel a lot closer to them and the story itself. the characters have well and truly taken on a life of their own, and now i'm kind of just along for the ride, telling their stories and loving every second of it!

ALSO!! the last big change with this draft, which i just implemented literally this morning and am so so sooooo excited about, is having first person referral, present tense mini-chapters/interludes! it gives the book a really unique sound and ties into the plot really nicely i think! i feel like the structure and form of the story are finally tying into the story itself and it's driving me insane a little bit askdfjka

as of right now i'm not ready to reveal who the pov and referral characters are in these chapters, because i'm debating between a couple ways of doing things and if i go one way that would end up being a pretty big spoiler! that being said, i got really hyped up about it earlier today and rambled in the spoilers section of my server so if you do want that sweet sweet spoilers content....join my server! ;)

also. i hope u all know that i almost deleted that first snippet about ten different times but transparency in writing and all that, i really do want to show how much this book has grown and changed! even if it's going to cause me immense psychic damage to type up the image description for this but i digress

i think that's all for now, and thank you so so much if you read all of that! the love and support this project has received and continues to receive absolutely blow me away, and i can't thank you enough for being part of the journey! <3

the crimson moon taglist (ask to be +/-)

@dallonswords | @isherwoodj | @florraisons | @aetherwrites | @childhoodlovers | @bijouxs | @ziyin | @moonhungers | @piyawrites | @avi-why | @svpphicwrites | @alicewestwater | @ladywithalamp | @spencers-tomes | @discreet-writer | @sunwornpages | @abalonetea | @the-bard-writes | @x-writes | @morganwriteblr​ ​| @aphaimaniis | @stephwriteswords | @ninazeniks ​| @araliensmagica | @fuyugomori | @ryns-ramblings | @greyjaywrites | @marimos

image descriptions below the cut

[header image description]

the background is a dark castle with a checkerboard-patterned marble floor. the hallway fades into black, with the hint of a figure standing in the doorway. white text across the image reads "The Crimson Moon" in a large, all-caps font, and below that reads "wip update post" in thin, lowercase text.

[image description for excerpt one]

I lay on my back, gazing up at the sky. The weather was absolutely perfect. I could hear the crickets singing, the birds chirping, the brook babbling, all that good poetic shit.

I came out here often, just to get away and pretend like I wasn't a part of the fuck-all society I lived in. How could humans be so ignorant? We live in a world with this, I gestured expansively in my mind at the field around me, how can we not see how beautiful it is? How perfect it is? How imperfect we are by comparison?

[image description for excerpt two]

Xalia strode down the marble halls, the soft leather of her shoes meeting each tile with a cacophony of echoes. This was not the first, second, hundredth time that she had walked these passageways, and yet the chill she felt when contained within their depths never seemed to subside. The looming corridors and billowing curtains always seemed to hide sinister whispers that breathed down her neck and pricked at the tips of her ears. Perhaps it was the High Council, with their unnerving masks and owlish eyes, seeming to know and perceive all — or perhaps it was the knowledge that every time she stalked back towards the exit, she would carry the weight of another’s life on her shoulders, a life that she had to take.

[image description for excerpt three]

Vanna’s mother always tells them that grief is a sharp, biting thing; something that latches its teeth around your stomach until you double over with the weight of it. But for Vanna, that’s not quite right. There isn’t something hidden and tucked away behind the confines of their gut because there isn’t anything there at all. As they walk towards the town well — a spell book in one hand and emptiness in the other — they think that their mother got it wrong trying to describe grief in terms of presence. Grief, to them, can only be absence. The absence of light, the absence of a smile, and the absence of a palm which had curled so perfectly into theirs.

[ddaenggtan]

midnight wishes | knj [M]

Granny Park's Gossip:

That boy. Never met anyone as prone to disaster as he is while being so damned smart, except maybe that roommate of his. The two of them could probably cure cancer if they wanted to, but you leave them alone for more than a few seconds and you’re liable to come back to disaster. Jiminie did say they’ve been acting a little different, though, maybe they finally wised up and made things official instead of just humping like bunnies around that apartment of theirs. Oh, am I not supposed to say that?

pairing } namjoon x reader 

word count } 10.3k { also on ao3

genre } Fluff, Smut, the smallest possible dash of angst; FWB au, Roommates au, coworkers au, slight idiots to lovers but like. lowkey. 

warnings } smut, the most smut, all the smut. Namjoon In Glasses bc that deserves its own tag. there’s multiple smutty parts, several less explicit and then one very very super explicit so for those: oral female, oral male, fingering, deepthroating, protected sex, unprotected sex, mention of semi-public sex, mentions of a sir kink, some very accidental cum eating that is hilarious and disgusting all at once. Namjoon and Slick are both complete and utter idiots, like it’s genuinely a miracle that they’ve lived this long, especially when paired together. 

{ The Snowball Effect Collab Masterlist } 

a/n } hello it is i with yet another fic. it’s done. i. have a lot of emotions bUT that’s neither here nor there. This is part of The Snowball Effect collab, and while it can be read as a standalone, all the fics end in the same spot and there are so many crossovers that it legitimately hurts to think about for too long, so for the best and funniest and fluffiest experience, we recommend that you read all of them in order!! Special shoutout to ashley, kristi, and ryn (@taehyungforreal, @stutterfly, and @fortunexkookie​, respectively) for letting me part of this wonderful adventure. i’m more honored than i could ever say with words, and i’m grateful every day that i got the chance to work with all of you on this absolutely phenomenal collab. for those of you who are just now seeing this, i implore you to read the others, as they are literal light years better than this, and i could not possibly live up to the absolute beauty of the other authors in this collab, but i still hope you enjoy my shiny garbage child aka this fic.

The first time you ever saw Kim Namjoon was on your very first day at the lab where you both work. You won't ever forget it, not because he's the walking embodiment of beauty nor because he's the most intelligent person you've ever met besides yourself. No, that day stays firmly implanted in your memory because that was the day the two of you nearly got fired for setting the building on fire.

In a genetics lab. 

You don't even work with chemicals. Maybe if you did, they would have been more understanding, but you don't and instead, everyone was completely flabbergasted that the two of you very nearly destroyed the building because you tried to reheat your leftover Chinese food - and really, how perfect is it that he also prefers the place across town instead of on the corner, and that he eats all the vegetables you pick out of your rice while you eat the eggrolls he isn't a fan of - in the microwave at the same time. Sure, your IQ is close to 300 when combined, but also, how are you supposed to remember that the bottom part of the takeout is made of foil? You were trying to single out a gene sequence that might help cancer research. Microwaves were not important. 

Until it exploded a little and set the fire suppression systems off in all the labs and affected several billion dollars worth of research. 

Honestly, the two of you are lucky you still have your jobs.

Less lucky that the insurance company wouldn't pay for the entire cost so both you and Namjoon had to take pretty severe pay cuts to help cover the costs.

Even less lucky that it means you could no longer afford your apartment by yourself and subsequently had to try to find a roommate in less than a week, which the internet is not helpful for, it doesn't matter what your coworkers say.

Which really just highlights that it's your own fault that you're in this situation in the first place, you think as you slam back another shot. It's been months, and yes, you found a roommate, and yes , things between the two of you are working better than you could have imagined, but god , at what cost?

You catch a glimpse of dimples heading your way and down the rest of the Kamikaze that you've been nursing all night. You might regret that later, the alcohol might make you do something you'd never do otherwise, but you can always pretend you don't remember. Besides, it's so much harder to handle Namjoon while you're completely sober; you never quite know what to say or what to do.

He doesn't bother to sit in the empty stool beside you, just slides into the space between you and it and lets one arm rest casually on the back of your barstool as he leans in to be heard over the live band that's playing. You don't look at him, you don't trust yourself to look at him, not with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons undone. You know he looks deliciously rumpled. You're entirely too familiar with the sight.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks. You shrug even as you start pulling your coat on, doing your best to ignore the way the heat of his breath brushed over your neck in the way that always gets you hot and bothered. "We don't have to if you don't want to," He says quickly, but you wave him off.

"No, it's fine, I promise. I'm not enjoying the band as much as I thought I would anyway."

When the ride you summoned stops at your apartment building, Namjoon pays and follows you up. The alcohol has started seeping into your bloodstream, and for a moment you regret that last drink. You're not drunk, not really, but you're on the farther side of tipsy and thoughts are swirling in your head that you wish would go somewhere else. Plus you're really fucking hungry now, and also kinda tired, and you're really glad tomorrow's Saturday so you can sleep in.

"What's got you in your head?" Namjoon asks as you fumble to unlock the door. You just shrug noncommittally, unwilling to tell him about it. He doesn't pry either, just sets to work pulling leftover tacos out of the fridge and sticking them in the microwave, remembering at the last second to take the plastic off the top so your food doesn't get coated in melted saran wrap. The two of you eat in relative silence before you manage to make yourself go into your room and strip out of your work clothes and then slide under the covers.

You don't listen as he goes into the room across the hall, you don't listen as the shower starts up, you don't listen at the off-key singing that he does. You don't. You can't let yourself, because then your drunk ass won't be able to keep your mouth shut the next time you see him - as you're both eating breakfast tomorrow, probably - and you'll say some super embarrassing shit like "hey I know it's partially my fault you couldn't afford your rent and you know I'm really grateful that you moved in with me, but you're also like hot as the surface of the sun and your dimples are really cute too, please fuck me stupid, I'm literally begging you."

Because that's the issue with living and working with Namjoon. There is no escape. Before you could come home and masturbate in peace while thinking about how his chest looks so utterly perfect in those button-ups, and how the muscles in his forearm flex when he's got his sleeves rolled up, and how his jaw does that muscle clench thing whenever he's focused on something.

But no. Now he lives with you , and not only are you both on the same schedules and therefore he’s never not home when you are, therefore depriving you of your precious Alone Time, but! You get a front-row view to how he looks in the mornings, with his hair all messy, and how he always forgets that the flavor packet goes in the ramen after you cook it, and how he bundles up every time he goes on walks with Moni, and-

The door to the bathroom creaks open and you force your eyes not to close. You inspect the stuccoed ceiling the entire time it takes his footsteps to make it into his room because otherwise, you're just going to remember that first week after he moved in, when he would have to go to his room with just a towel around his waist because his clothes were in boxes and he hadn't unpacked and he'd forgotten to take anything in the bathroom with him.

The memory of his absolutely fucking ridiculous pectorals dripping with water and his god damn superb biceps flexed and delicious-looking, none of it hidden under the slightly-too-big shirts he wears to work...it haunts you. To this day.

The sound of his door closing echoes through the hall and into your room. It’s through an incredibly impressive force of will that you don’t imagine what he’s doing right now, just across the hall. You resolutely do not imagine him sliding that towel from around his waist and revealing the gorgeous glistening golden thighs that strain against his work khakis so wonderfully. Nor do you think of the way he twists his neck to pop it while he does his after-shower stretches - because that’s a normal thing that normal people totally do - and you absolutely are not thinking of the way the scent of sandalwood and steam trails after him when he’s freshly showered and you are definitively not thinking about-

A loud, high-pitched moan followed by the slapping of skin on skin echoes through the apartment, jolting you upright and out of your thoughts as you stare in shock at the back of your bedroom door. 

Something thuds against the carpeted floor of Namjoon’s room and the sound abruptly cuts off. The silence that follows is deafening, and your ears ring with it. 

Surely….surely he wasn’t….

A thought, unbidden and cursed, flits through your mind before you can stop it. You can’t even blame the residual alcohol in your body for the way you stand and open your bedroom door, or how you slip your super soft silk robe over your shoulders and tie it loosely around your waist, nor for the way you take the two steps to stand in front of Namjoon’s, but you absolutely blame your quickly-returning sobriety for the way you hesitate in front of it. 

He’s going to say no, anyway, so what’s the harm? Things are awkward for a day or two and then we move on, right?

You knock before you can talk yourself out of it. It takes a few minutes, but Namjoon does eventually open the door. His chest is still bare but he’s got on the soft-looking plaid pajama pants that you adore, albeit they are on backwards , and his face is flushed with color. 

You're 98% sure that it's because he just had his hand around his cock. You're significantly less sure if you hate or love the fact that you know that. 

“Hey,” You say awkwardly. 

“Hey,” He responds, just as awkward. 

You both stand there for a second while you work up the courage to ask what’s been going around and around in your mind. 

“I just heard that thud and got worried,” is what eventually makes it out. Namjoon’s face flushes further, and his nose scrunches in the cutest way. “Just...wanted to make sure you weren’t, y’know. Dead. Haha.”

He smiles at your laugh, even though it’s dead and humorless, and warmth blooms in your chest. 

“I’m alright. Sorry for any, uh…” He squints, clearly searching for the word he wants to use that won’t immediately give him away - like the entire apartment building hadn’t heard that noise. “Disturbances.”

“Oh, no, you’re fine!” You tell him, rubbing the back of your neck. “I was just. Uh. Y’know how bonobos will often have recreational sex with non-monogamous partners just because they’re bored or as a way to work out the tension between members of the unit-groups and they enjoy said recreational sex, even though there’s no real emotional attachment to the other parties involved?”

Namjoon stares at you for a long, silent moment. 

“Yeah, I know about bonobos,” He eventually says. “I didn’t know that about bonobos, but I guess that’s the fun fact quota for the day.”

Your face heats and you’ve never quite wished the ground would swallow you up until this very moment. 

“Oh,” You say, dumbly. “Well. That’s a thing. That bonobos do.”

“I got that,” Namjoon says. He bites down on his lower lip in what’s probably an innocuous way to not smile at how ridiculous you’re being, but when paired with the golden expanse of chest, it’s utterly obscene. 

“Would you like to have recreational sex with me?” 

“ What? ”

“No strings attached, no feelings, nothing but some nice fun recreational intercourse between two consenting adults of sound mind. Would you be interested?”

“I...why are you asking me? ” He asks incredulously, and you resist the urge to kiss the surprise off his face. How is it surprising at all when he walks around looking like that ?

“Because in the time we’ve known each other as coworkers, roommates, and friends, I think we could be very sexually compatible and even if we aren’t, I’m confident enough in our friendship to believe we could still be friends afterward.” You tell him firmly. “Besides, you’re literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, why wouldn’t I want to have sex with you?”

“You’re...serious about this? You’re not playing some kind of joke on me?” 

“Why would I play a joke on you, Namjoon? I haven’t been able to get off for literal weeks - ever since you moved in, actually - and I’m at a bit of a breaking point.”

“And you’re not drunk?”

“Completely sober,” You assure him. He curses under his breath and runs a hand over his jaw, not making eye contact as he considers. It’s the same thoughtful expression that he gets when he’s trying to figure out some complex equation at work. With how long it’s been since you last came, however, it’s only making you wetter. 

"Fuck it," He mutters, seconds before his hands cup your jaw to pull you into a kiss. 

It's awkward at first, the two of you trying to find a rhythm that you both enjoy while still being able to breathe. His lips are slightly chapped and you both stumble as he starts walking backwards towards the bed, but it's so wonderful. His hand against your jaw is warm and comforting, even as his other hand is slipping teasingly under your robe and his teeth suckle a mark into your collarbone. 

Movement on the bed catches your attention and you flush when you realize it's Moni, Namjoon's very sweet dog that came with him when he moved in. 

"Uh, Namjoon?" You breathe. It's hard to focus on anything that isn't the way he's teasing at the band of your panties, but the way Moni is staring at you is captivating. "Dog."

Namjoon freezes, hands disappearing from your skin, and he either doesn't hear or doesn't acknowledge your needy whine at the loss of contact. 

"What, what's wrong? Is that your safeword? What did I do?"

"No, Joon," You can barely hear yourself think over the stream of apologies pouring from his lips, and it isn't until you grip his shoulders and forcibly turn him to look at his dog that he shuts up. 

" Oh ," He whispers. "The dog." He clicks his tongue a couple of times and Moni hops down from the bed, though not without giving Namjoon the saddest eyes possible. Moni disappears down the hallway, probably to go lay on the couch, and Namjoon shuts the door behind him. "Sorry," he says bashfully. 

"Don't be sorry," You respond with a smile. " Do , however, fuck me until I can't move." 

A growl vibrates in his chest, surprising you, and you're bouncing atop his mattress before you can think. 

He doesn't say anything else, too focused on the way your folds feel against his tongue as he slides your robe up your thighs. Words are hardly possible for you when he makes you come the first time. Even less so when he turns you onto your hands and knees, presses your face into the mattress, and proceeds to pound into you so hard that the nightstand shakes. Still, your knees are made weak by something else entirely.

It's the tender awareness in his touch; he's firm and unyielding but so, so cautious, consistently testing your reactions before he continues. The way his voice - deepened and husky with desire - sounds in your ear when he asks if what he's doing is okay, if you like it, if you want to keep going. It's how he teases you gently about how wet you are - "God damn, is this all for me? You're so fucking wet, so slick and ready for me, sweetheart," -  the way he's so absolutely tuned in to your own needs and desires, the way he coaxes orgasm after orgasm out of you like it's second nature, his own high an afterthought when you've clenched too tight around him. 

It's the way he brings you water and some fruit afterward and gently cleans you up while you eat before sliding your robe carefully over the blossoming purple marks he sucked into your shoulders. It's the way he didn't close his bedroom door until yours clicked behind you. 

"This was the best idea I've ever had," you sigh happily to yourself as you drift off to sleep. 

“So you’ve got a sir kink?” Namjoon asks several days later, face pressed into a microscope more expensive than your entire apartment building. He doesn’t look at you, even as you tear your eyes away from the computer screen in front of you to glance at him curiously. 

“I do,” You tell him. He shifts in his chair and you bite back a grin. “Is that a problem? We don’t have to use it.”

“No, it’s fine,” He says quickly. “Just thought it was interesting. I didn’t expect that from you.”

“Namjoon, we’ve only known each other for a couple of months, and in that time, we’ve hardly had a conversation about what kinks we enjoy and what we don’t. How would you expect anything?”

“Just...didn’t expect it, that’s all.” He’s quiet for a minute and a sliver of guilt lodges in your throat. You’re right, the two of you haven’t known each other for very long, especially not in a sexual manner, but you could’ve maybe phrased it better. 

“I’m sorry-”

“We should-”

Both of you stop midsentence, turning away from your work to laugh with each other. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Namjoon says with a dimpled smile. “I know what you meant, and you’re right. We don’t know what the other enjoys, so we shouldn’t go into this with any expectations.”

“Maybe we should, though,” You say, marking a sequence that catches your eye so you’ll remember to come back and fully examine it later. “I mean, we can’t exactly fulfill our sexual needs without knowing what said needs are. For instance, how often do you orgasm every week?”

Something tumbles on Namjoon’s desk, and when you look over he’s got the microscope cradled carefully in his hands a few feet above the floor. 

“Uh...maybe twice,” He eventually says.

“Hm. Duly noted.” You turn back to the monitor in front of you, marking another sequence for inspection. 

“Well...how often do you orgasm each week?” He asks. His voice is hesitant, like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to ask.

“Depends,” You tell him. “When I’m close to my period or ovulating, it’s usually once a day, if not twice, because my sex drive is higher, but otherwise it’s usually every other day or so.”

“Oh.” 

“But don’t worry, I’m more than willing to take care of myself on the nights where you need a break. I don’t expect you to keep up with my sex drive.”

“I mean...I could .”

You turn away from the monitor to look at him, quirking a brow. He quirks his own in return and you can’t help the way your eyes travel down his form. He’s wearing contacts instead of his glasses - always does during the workweek, since it’s easier to use a microscope that way - but the light purple shirt sets off the platinum blonde of his hair and his thighs strain against the material of his khakis. It all adds up to make him look absolutely delectable, especially since you know full well what’s hiding underneath those pants. 

“I could,” He repeats. “If you want me to.”

Your eyes meet his and you have no doubt he’s been eyeing you the same way you’ve been eyeing him. 

“I think it might be time for our lunch break, Mr. Kim,” You tell him, eyes darting to the clock on your desk. “I was thinking of going out to get something, would you like to join me?”

Namjoon is already standing and grabbing his jacket, and you would laugh at how eager he is if you weren’t the same way. You can already feel heat beginning to pool between your legs and the two of you rush out of the office in such a hurry that you hardly notice when you run straight into the mail cart. 

“Nice going, Slick!” Kihyun yells after you, and you wish you were ashamed of the way that your knees tremble at the reminder of how it felt to have Namjoon call you that while buried inside of your warmth. 

“They have no idea,” Namjoon mutters, fingers twisting with yours so he can pull you down a hallway and towards an unused office. “If they only knew just how slick you really are.”

You shiver and slam the door closed as Namjoon sinks to his knees. 

The amount of times the two of you fuck at work is utterly ridiculous after that. You have an actual conversation with him about kinks and hard limits and soft limits and all that fun grown-up stuff that’s necessary of an adult relationship, of course, and that only adds to the fire between the two of you. 

He’s more than willing to let you call him Sir while you’re on your hands and knees in front of him, and you’re absolutely willing to ride him into oblivion in those moments when he doesn’t want to be in charge or when he’s had a hard day at work and just wants to relax. Those are your favorite times, actually; when he just sits on the couch and drives himself up into you while you’re fucking yourself back down onto him, eyes clenched shut as his hands glide up your spine and knead your ass. 

The slow, lazy way his hips meet yours is absolutely addictive, you can’t even lie, but you can’t deny that it’s the moment after you’ve both cum that are the real danger. When you’re both panting and spent, laying against the soft sheets on his bed or the cool leather of your couch, and his arm drapes around your torso for those few moments it takes him to regain his breath. 

It’s dangerous, so dangerous, because you’ve already agreed not to have feelings involved in this. You’re friends with benefits, nothing more and nothing less, and you cannot let yourself forget that. Not in the mornings when you wander out in his shirt to find that he’s made breakfast - ordered it, actually, but it’s the thought that counts - or when you walk into work together and he doesn’t hesitate to open the doors for you without even breaking stride, as if it’s second nature to do so. As if he’s used to it. 

It’s when the two of you are at the mall together that reality hits you in the face. 

You’re both on the hunt for different things; he’s got a birthday present he still has to buy and wants to pick up some new treats and sweaters for Moni, while you’re on the hunt for a new toaster to rival that of your old one - which you destroyed on accident by using a metal fork to dig a piece of bread out of. While it was plugged in. And hot. 

Your hands still sting a little, but the ER nurse was adamant that you would be alright. So long as you didn’t try to electrocute yourself again.

“Wait, so you’re not going to be here for New Year’s Eve?” You clarify, popping a piece of chocolate into your mouth. 

“No, I’m heading up to Taehyung’s cabin with the rest of the guys. It’s an annual thing, I don’t even remember how it got started,” Namjoon tells you as he peers into the window of some box store that you already know isn’t going to have anything Taehyung will like. 

“Hm, I guess it’s good I work then, so I can walk Moni.” 

Namjoon shoots you an odd look. “You don’t work, and Jackson’s watching Moni.”

“Uh...I’m pretty sure I work on New Year’s Eve, Namjoon. I would’ve made plans otherwise.”

“Slick, I’m exactly one hundred percent sure the office is closed for New Year’s because it is every year.” He sneaks a piece of chocolate and wrinkles his nose when he realizes it’s mint chocolate. 

“No, because my schedule says-” You start, pulling your phone out to open said schedule so you can show him just how wrong he is. “That I work the next morning. That’s why I didn’t make plans.”

Namjoon just smiles and taps at the screen. “That’s December, Slick. You’re looking at December first.”

You pull the phone back and stare at it, horror washing over you when you see that he’s right. 

You’re going to be spending New Year’s alone, for the first time in years, and loneliness fills you at that thought. Your parents are an entire plane ride away, on vacation for their retirement in some tropical paradise that you can’t remember the name of; your old friends are in an entirely different city, likely already with plans of their own, and you don’t know nearly enough people at work or outside of it to have any idea what people are doing. 

“Oh man,” Namjoon breathes, clearly oblivious to the sudden onset of loneliness that’s hit you. “I knew it was going to be hilarious, but I had no idea it was going to be this good .”

You look up to find him focused on his phone, camera pointing at something you can’t quite make out through the small screen. You follow the view, a reluctant smile breaking out when you spot Hope on the Street dancing along to some holiday song while dressed as an elf. 

“Isn’t that the news anchor that got in trouble for doing anal?” You ask. Namjoon cackles - there’s no other word for it, it’s a cackle - and nods. 

“Yeah, Hoseok’s been forced into doing this as a publicity stunt. We’ve all been looking forward to seeing him do it, too, but god , I had no idea it would be this funny to see. Hobi as a Christmas elf, can you imagine?”

“Hobi?”

“Oh, yeah, he’s a close friend of mine,” Namjoon says, eyes never straying from the video as he plays it back. “He’s gonna be at the cabin too, with his girlfriend Cat. There’s like seven of us who all grew up in the same little neighborhood, and we all kept pretty close as we got older. It’s like a little mini-family.”

“Oh,” You say softly. Namjoon tucks his phone back into his pocket and looks around, lighting up as he spots something else. “I didn’t know you knew Hope on the Street.”

“Yeah, he’s a dork,” Namjoon says as he pulls you towards some children’s store. “Come on, I think Yoongi’s working and I like to watch his little dance when he makes the hearts.”

You barely pay attention as Namjoon hurries into the toy store. You don’t join him inside, too busy lost in your own thoughts. 

You should’ve realized, you scold yourself. You should’ve known better. You got comfortable, you got complacent and happy, too enamored with the way Namjoon feels inside of you and the warmth of his hand in yours to realize that you’re still on the outside. 

He and his friends are all going up to some cabin, with their girlfriends apparently, to hang out and have fun together for New Year’s. He didn’t invite you. You’ve lost yourself in the fantasy and complacency of how warm he feels, how it feels like coming home whenever you see him, even when you knew better. 

You knew better than to get attached. You told yourself, every step of the way, not to get attached, don’t develop feelings, it’s just sex, and yet…

And yet your heart is breaking in your chest that he didn’t invite you along, that he didn’t even think to do so. It’s not even fair to him, it’s not his fault that you got too caught up in the domesticity and familiarity of him to remember that this isn’t serious. Why would he invite you? You’re his roommate, a coworker, the girl he fucks every so often. You aren’t his girlfriend, you aren’t anyone important to his friends. 

You’re just the roommate. 

“Hey, look at this bear I made, it’s got a little microscope and everything! It’s perfect for-”

“Sorry,” You interrupt, ignoring the way Namjoon’s smile dims ever so slightly. “I just realized that I’ve got to finish up some analyses before the office closes for the holiday, I’ve gotta go do that. But it’s cute, Moni’ll love it.”

“Okay.” Namjoon’s voice is hushed, and his brows are drawn together. He can obviously tell something’s off, but if you’re lucky, maybe he won’t be able to pinpoint exactly what. “I’ll see you at home then.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you back at the apartment,” You say quickly, not even looking at him as you hurry off the other way. 

You just need space, you tell yourself. You just need some distance so you can get your emotions under control. You can’t be around him when all you want to do is kiss him senseless and tell him how much you want to wake up in his bed forever, how you never want to miss another walk with Moni. He can’t know. 

He won’t know.

"I fucked up."

"You're going to have to be more specific," Jimin’s voice says from the other end of the phone. 

Namjoon groans, resisting the urge to slam his head back against the cabinets. He's standing in the kitchen now, staring longingly at the fridge and whatever food it may contain, because you’re out grocery shopping now, and he would love for you to come back to a hot meal, but there’s a reason you’re grocery shopping this late at night.

"You remember how in college everyone teased me because I'm terrible at one-night stands and I bet Hobi a week's groceries that I totally could?"

"Yes," Jimin says slowly. Something clinks on the other end of the line, and Namjoon wonders what Jimin’s having for dinner. His stomach rumbles in response and he heaves himself across the kitchen to dig through the fridge while Jimin continues. "I also remember how you spent weeks pining over said one-night stand while Hoseok filled the cupboards with every single thing he thought he could get away with buying. Why are you bringing that up now?"

Namjoom stays quiet but hums in victory as he unearths a pizza that isn’t too terribly old. “How long can pizza live in the fridge before it would kill me if I ate it?”

“If you have to ask that question, it’s been too long,” Jimin tells him. Namjoon debates, eyeing the pizza before deciding it looks fine and turning the oven on before sliding the pizza in. “Now, why are you bringing up one night stands and then pizza?”

"You remember how that new girl started at work a few months ago and we ate lunch together and then nearly got fired?"

"Yes, I distinctly remember writing you notes on takeout containers for weeks reminding you not to put foil in the microwave. What does-" Jimin stops, and Namjoon gets the distinct impression that if they were having this conversation in person, he’d be getting the Look. "Joon, tell me you didn't."

"I didn't have a one night stand with her," Namjoon assures him. 

"Good," Jimin says, heaving a sigh of relief. "God only knows what would happen with a one night stand with your roommate-"

"We're friends with benefits." 

Jimin chokes on whatever he’s eating and Namjoon winces sympathetically. 

"It's not that bad," The elder says before Jimin can scold him. "We're very sexually compatible. And she's amazing, Jimin, you don't even know-"

"Joon, isn't this the same girl you spent an entire four hours talking about the day she started working with you?"

"Yeah, so?"

The blonde gives a heavy sigh. Namjoon knows the younger well enough to know he’s shaking his head right now. 

"Please be careful, Namjoon," Jimin eventually says. 

"Oh, don't worry, we've both been tested, and we use condoms every time, there's nothing to worry about."

"That's not the kind of careful I mean," Jimin sighs. He's quiet for a minute as he eats and Namjoon waits for his pizza to be heated enough to eat. "Why do you say you fucked up if you’ve been careful?”

“I…” He hesitates. “I don’t know. I think she’s upset with me. We were at the mall the other day and it was fine, we were laughing at how Hobi looks dressed as an elf-”

“God that video was hilarious -”

“Right?!” They both laugh a little, fondly remembering the sight, before Namjoon sobers. “And then she just...changed. She got all quiet and skittish and ran off before I could give her the bear I made. She didn’t even look at it.”

“And it just happened out of nowhere? What were you talking about?”

“How she’s off work for New Year’s and I’m heading up to the cabin so she doesn’t have to watch Moni or anything, and then I saw Yoongi doing that dance at the store so I wanted to go watch him, and-” He stops, eyes focused on the air in front of him. 

“Joon? You good?”

“Hypothetically speaking,” He begins, a realization hitting him all at once, “What would happen if I put a pizza in the oven to reheat without taking it out of the box?”

“Oh my fucking god, Namjoon, get it out!”

There’s a flurry of smoke while Namjoon does just that and rushes to open the window so he can let some of the smoke out before you get back home. Jimin’s still berating him - albeit fondly - when he picks the phone back up. 

“It’s fine,” Namjoon says quickly, “It’s cool, nothing’s actually on fire anymore. And the pizza’s warm!”

“Oh my god, how have you survived this long.” Namjoon smiles at Jimin’s words; he gets a lot of shit for being wildly unobservant, but he knows that the others love him dearly. Why else would they still talk to him? Really, after the incident with the tub at Jungkook’s apartment, it’s truly a miracle he still has friends, and love is the only explanation. 

“But seriously, I don’t know what I did with Slick. Do you think I was too...obvious?”

“Namjoon,” Jimin says seriously. “If this girl is anything like you, and based on that time she tried to screenshot a crack in phone screen I’m inclined to believe she is, then I think the issue is that you aren’t being obvious enough . You said she got all weird after you mentioned the cabin, right?”

“Yeah. I thought she’d be happy that she wouldn’t be stuck with Moni, but-”

“Did you consider that since she thought she was working, she doesn’t have any other plans and is now stuck in the apartment by herself since she just moved here recently?”

“Oh.” Guilt surges through him as the door opens and your voice echoes that you picked up some takeout while you were gone. “I gotta go.”

“Ah-ah,” Jimin says quickly. “My payment?”

“Yes, Jimin, I love you dearly, you are the light of my life, I would never have survived this long were it not for your sage wisdom, I owe you my firstborn.”

“Much better! Some of the others could learn from you.” Jimin’s laugh continues long after he’s hung up, Namjoon is sure of it. 

You aren’t sure why the apartment smells like smoke when you get back, but you decide not to question it and just be grateful you had the foresight to pick up some takeout on your way back from the store. 

 When you get into the kitchen, Namjoon is there, with a smoking pizza box on the stove beside him. He’s not in his work clothes; instead, he looks comfortable and cozy in some sweats and a faded tee with his glasses halfway down his nose. Your heart lurches painfully in your chest at the sight and you force yourself to remember that he isn’t yours . 

“Hey! Did you hear me? I got takeout, since I figured neither of us wanted to cook. And I’m glad I did, what’s with the smoke?” A thought strikes you as you set the bags on the table. “Oh no, did you try to use the toaster? I told you not to, it got weird after that night with the fork, we need to replace it.”

“Do you wanna go to the cabin?” 

You freeze, halfway to the fridge to put away the ice cream that he likes. “What?” You ask. 

“The cabin. Do you want to go with me for New Year’s Eve, with everyone?” Namjoon takes the ice cream and finishes your journey for you, sticking it in the freezer without a second thought. “If you don’t want to take advantage of a quiet apartment, that is. You’re welcome to join, and I figured that was obvious, but then I realized that it may not be, so I wanted to offer.”

“With you and all of your friends? I don’t really... know any of them.” 

“That’s fine, they’re not that bad. They’re all pretty friendly, once you get to know them at least.” Namjoon says as he takes some vegetables out of your hands to put them in the fridge as well. “And I have no doubt that the others are going to bring some of their friends. Yoongi’s girlfriend will be there, she seems sweet. And Cat and Star are always nice, you’d love them.” 

You hesitate, though you aren’t sure why. This is what you wanted, so why doesn’t it make you happy?

“Besides, they’ll all be happy to have another friend around to bother. Jin loves to feed people.” Namjoon flashes his dimples at you and your heart does something complex that you can’t explain. There’s the rush of excitement and the skipped beat that always comes with his dimples, but it twists and clenches as well. Because of course, he’s just taking you as a friend. 

You’re friends. And that’s fine. If you repeat yourself enough times then you’ll believe it. You have to. 

“Yeah, sure!” You say with a grin. “I’d like that. They always sound so fun, it’ll be nice to meet them for real.”

Namjoon beams and helps you put the rest of the groceries away before you both settle in to eat. It’s not anything fancy, simple and quick and just enough to get the two of you through the night so that you didn’t have to cook. You chat about work as you do, a few sequences that might prove promising if you can work them the right way. 

It’s afterward, as you’re both curled up on opposite sides of the couch while some nature documentary plays in the background, that you notice it. 

He’s been fidgety all night, even before you left to get the food, and you didn’t think anything of it before. But now he’s even worse, hands rubbing along his thighs nervously while he shoots you look after look, which you have no doubt he thinks you don’t notice. 

“What is up with you?” You ask him eventually, ignoring the way some bug is eating another bug’s head onscreen. 

“Nothing,” he says in a rush. “Just...ready for bed.”

“Then go to bed.” You say it like it’s obvious, because it is. If he’s so ready to sleep, then he should go; neither of you has ever expected the other to stay up and watch TV together. You’re individuals.

“Okay,” he says softly, adjusting his glasses as he stands. He gets all the way to his bedroom door before he comes back, hovering awkwardly in the hall entrance for several seconds before he finally sits back down on the couch. Now, however, he’s sitting with his thigh pressed against yours, the heat radiating through the shorts you’re wearing and searing into your skin. 

He’s still fidgety, still uneasy for some reason, and it’s as you turn to ask him what the hell’s going on that he pulls you into a kiss. It’s soft and lingering and it makes your stomach flip in all the ways it isn’t supposed to. 

“If you wanted to have sex, you should have just said so,” You whisper against his lips. You can feel it more than hear it as he starts to say something and then cuts himself off with a sigh. 

“I wanna be inside you,” he says instead. “Please.”

Heat pools between your legs, even at such simple words, and you find yourself nodding. He kisses you again, frantic and much more heated than before, and you can already tell what it’ll be like tonight. 

You’re right, too; it’s quick and dirty. You don’t even make it to the bed, not at first. He cages you against the wall in the hallway and slides a hand between your bodies to start to draw your first orgasm out. It’s the whine from the dog that makes you realize where you are, pulling apart long enough to stare at where Moni sits at the hallway entrance, head cocked to the side and watching you with a confused stare. 

That gets you into the bedroom, the door shut behind you as you fall together onto the bed. The two of you barely get your clothes off before Namjoon’s sliding inside of you and groaning at the feeling. 

“Fuck, Slick, you’re so wet,” he whispers against your skin as he thrusts. You can hardly make words, too focused on the way he fits inside of you and the absolute certainty that you cannot say a single word running through your head. 

Not that you’re in love with the way he holds your hips so gently as he thrusts, not how he whispers praise and adoration against you with every press of his lips to your skin, and certainly not how you want to stay like this forever. That you’re absolutely positive you’ve broken the cardinal rules of being fuckbuddies. 

Don’t get feelings. 

But you were a fool, anyway. Because it’s easy to break rules, especially when you go into it with feelings. 

The first orgasm hits you with a shockwave, and with the way Namjoon hits your g-spot, it’s followed by a second shortly after. Your hands claw into the sheets as he fills the condom, and it only takes a minute for him to clean himself up enough to relax in the bed beside you, but you hardly notice; you’re too busy adjusting to the emptiness that you’re left with now that he isn’t inside you, the yearning that fills you down to your bones with the need to be wrapped up in his arms and cradled to his chest as you both drift to sleep.

You force yourself up before you can get comfortable, fatigue sweeping through your bones. 

“I’m, uh, I’m gonna go shower,” You tell him. It’s a feat to keep your voice neutral, but you think you manage. “And then head to bed, I think. Uh, thanks. For the orgasms.”

The door to the bathroom closes behind you before he can even get a word out, and you force the image of his confused face out of your mind as you turn the water on. It takes every part of you to resist the urge to linger in the hot spray for longer than you need to be there, but you manage. 

By the time you’re slipping into bed, the light in Namjoon’s room is off and you can hear Moni settling into bed beside Namjoon. You can practically see them, curled up together all warm and settled in together. Content. 

You slip between your own sheets and wrap the fluffy blanket around you. Emotions are swirling in your gut and you do your best to ignore them all. You don’t need to focus on the way you want to be there with them, the way you want to curl your body into his with Moni between you, just the way he likes on the couch. 

“This is the worst idea I’ve ever had,” You tell yourself with a sigh as you try to fall asleep in your lonely bed. 

You don’t know that across the hall, Namjoon lays awake with Moni beside him, wondering how he fucked up so badly that you’re not in his arms anymore. He’d have every intention to tell you about his feelings. He wanted to end this friends-with-benefits thing, put it to rest so that he could take you out for real. So you could be together , for real. 

But you’d just bolted the second he was collapsing onto the bed, like you were running from something, and he wasn’t about to keep you here when you don’t want to be here. 

Still, he thinks as Moni burrows under the blankets to get closer to him, he can’t help but wish you were up against him as well, with your breathing steady and quiet as you sleep and he can feel your chest move with it. 

He just really wishes that you wanted that too.

The drive to the cabin is uneventful. You and Namjoon talk about work most of the way, chatting amicably about a few things that got corrupted in the data that have been frustrating to rebuild and how excited Moni was to see Jackson when he picked the pup up that day. 

You’re only a little nervous when you spot the wooden sign specifying that it belongs to the Kims. You’ve heard a lot of stories about Namjoon’s friends, seen one or two in passing when they come by the apartment to see Namjoon, though you tend to give them space when that happens. 

Still, nothing could ever compare to the welcome that greets you. There’s some kind of karaoke going on, with Taehyung and Star watching from the couch. There are crutches propped up nearby and you wonder what the story is there for the few seconds before your attention is drawn to the kitchen, where who you assume is Seokjin is scolding someone for shoving entirely too many cookies into their mouth. You catch sight of someone - blonde, giggling, followed by a sweet-looking girl - run out of the kitchen with his cheeks puffed out and crumbs on his lips, and you shoot Namjoon a look. 

“Jimin,” He explains with a grin. “C’mon, let’s go claim the den before someone else can get to it.”

That night is hectic, to say the least. Namjoon was right when he said his friends are welcoming, though; everyone is friendly and talkative - except for Pumpkin, Seokjin’s best friend who genuinely looks like she’s about to murder someone for the few moments that you see her during dinner but Namjoon assures you “That’s just her face, I promise.” Even when the boys get to reminiscing about the days they spent in that cul-de-sac, they include everyone else in their stories. 

Especially fun is when they all come up with theories about why Cat and Hobi are late, and while from what you’ve heard so far tonight, you agree with the proposal that they’re probably fucking, you still feel a sliver of worry for them. 

It’s the mention of sex that gets your stomach churning, though. Because Namjoon shoots you a knowing look, the same one he gets when you wear those ultra-short shorts around the house that he adores, and you already know what he wants. You can’t even say you don’t want it, too, because you don’t think you could ever turn down the opportunity to have him like that. It’s just so bittersweet when it ends-

“I’m going to start on dessert,” Seokjin states as he gathers plates. Yoongi and Peaches are gone in record time, and Taehyung and Star follow not long after, though it takes considerably longer with the way Taehyung helps her. Seokjin calls after them all that he’ll have dessert ready in a little while, and Namjoon shoots you another look when Jimin and Pumpkin don’t move from the table. 

“C’mon,” Namjoon whispers, grabbing your hand and urging you down the hallway. “Get our bags, we’re gonna steal Jin’s room.”

“That doesn’t seem like the best idea,” You whisper in return, though you do in fact grab the bags as he directs. “Isn’t that also Pumpkin’s room? Are we sure she won’t murder us?”

“No, it’ll be fine, Jin would never let her.” The thought isn’t as comforting as Namjoon means it to be, but you manage to get your bags in the room and their bags out without anyone the wiser. 

You realize your mistake too late. This room only has one bed. A singular sleeping area. The den has couches, you would have been fine, but you can’t sleep here. You can’t share the bed with Namjoon; it’s entirely too dangerous. Getting to see him still completely sleep soft, warm against you as the two of you doze in the early morning light? 

There would be no coming back from that. 

The thought leaves nearly as quick as it enters, driven away by the slide of Namjoon’s arms as he wraps them around you. 

"Do you want it, Slick?" His voice is deep and rumbling, almost a purr in your ear, and it makes your knees weak. It's truly ridiculous how easy it is for him to rile you up, but fuck , can you really complain?

Except you can, because it's not what you want. It's not everything you want. You can't ask for more, though, not when he doesn't want to give it.

His hands snake towards the waistband of your pants - fancy grey pinstriped pants that you bought specifically because Namjoon told you that Seokjin has a fancy dress code for New Year's Eve - and your heart jumps up into your throat. You spin in his arms, doing your best to look enthusiastic. 

"I want to blow you," You tell him as you sink to your knees. He leans back against the wall and quirks a brow, but he nods his agreement.

You set to work almost immediately; you're determined to make this the best blowjob of his life. It's the least you can do. You don't tell him that, though; you can't tell him. Not this. Not that you're so deeply entrenched in your feelings for him that you're afraid if you don't get out now you won't be able to. Not that you can't bear to have him touch you because you're afraid of what will come out of your mouth, what you might say or reveal that he doesn't want to know. 

Not when you're going to have to end this, as you decided while laying in bed two nights ago, cold and exhausted and utterly alone. 

You focus again on Namjoon, reminding yourself to pay attention. His dick is big - big enough that your fingers can only barely meet when you wrap them around it, but it means your jaw aches deliciously when you go down on him, and you adore the feeling of it in your throat.

So you swallow him down completely, burying him to the hilt with one swift movement. You've been practicing, and it has clearly paid off if the choked moan that escapes him is any indication. His hands tangle in your hair, not pulling or pushing but instead just sitting there and moving with you as you pull off just to bury him again. 

You look up and are pleased to find that his eyes are screwed shut, jaw clenched tight against the moans building inside of his chest. But that won't do at all. The best blowjob of his life can't possibly be one where he doesn't even look at you.

To rectify the situation, you bring one hand up to tease at his balls, squeezing ever so slightly in the way you know he likes as you swallow around his cock. He does moan then, fingers clenching in your hair as he opens his eyes to look down at you. 

"Fuck, just like that, Slick," He pleads. "Again, please again, it's perfect." You comply, humming an affirmative around his dick that makes him shudder before you swallow around him again. "God, fuck , you're so fucking perfect. Fucking amazing, the best, I can't believe I get to have this-"

Namjoon continues, mumbling in and out of coherency as you bop your head up and down on his cock. He's thick and heavy in your mouth and it feels like heaven on your tongue - it always does - and just when you think you can never get enough-

"Fuck, I love you so much, Slick, you're a god damn angel."

You pull off his dick, staring wide-eyed at him. Namjoon whines and looks down at you, clearly not comprehending what's just come out of his mouth.

"Fuck," He mutters. "Fuck, shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I don't...I'm so sorry I didn't want you to know, especially not like this. Shit. "

"Are you serious?" You ask as you stand back up. Namjoon makes a belated movement to help steady you, blood flowing back into your calves from where you were kneeled down for a while, but he stops himself. He doesn't even look at you, really, instead staring out the window nearby. "Namjoon, seriously. Did you mean that?"

"I mean…" He hesitates, rubbing a hand over his jaw. "Yeah. I did. I do. It's still new so I can't be entirely sure, but I think that's what this is." 

He heaves a sigh and tucks himself back into his slacks before moving to sit on the bed, one hand running through his platinum hair. 

"You weren't supposed to know," He mutters. "I thought I could keep it a secret. I didn't want to make it weird between us since you don't…" 

"Since I don't...feel the same?" You ask as you sit beside him. "You really...care about me like that?"

"Yeah," Namjoon whispers with a grin. It's fond and sweet and everything you've ever wanted and it's so unbearably familiar because it's how he's always looked at you. "Ever since we almost burned the lab down, I think."

"Same," You breathe, and you can't deny the way that you love the light that sparks in his eyes at that. "Ever since you ate the vegetables out of my rice and gave me your eggrolls." 

"Are you-"

"Yeah," You say with a laugh. "I guess we're kind of both at fault for this, then."

"Can I…" Namjoon trails off, searching for the words he wants. His hands move to wrap around yours, lacing your fingers together as he gives you a smitten smile. "We've been fucking for a while. As you know. But would you do me the honor of letting me make love to you?" 

You gulp, an audible and atrocious thing, because his words send a surge of desire straight to your core. He's right, you have been fucking, because that's the only thing the two of you can call it. You don't make eye contact, you don't sleep over, there are rules , but god, the two of you break everything else, so why not this?

"Please," You whisper.  

His lips are on yours in an instant, his hands following quickly after to strip your clothes off. You can't be sure when his clothes join the pile on the floor, just that one moment your fists are clenched in his shirt and the next, you're raking your nails down his bare back as he sucks purple marks into your neck. 

"God, you're beautiful," He mutters. "Fucking divine." 

"Then I match you, don't I?" You whisper. Two of his fingers slide into you, and both of you moan at the feeling. He glides them against your walls, teasing that one spot inside of you that he knows you adore, and you whine a little.

"Patience, my dear," He chuckles. When you whine again he grins, dimples making your stomach flip. "Alright then, Slick. Let me get a condom."

"No," You say quickly. "We've been exclusive, right? No risk or anything like that. I've got the implant. 98% effective. I want…"

"Say it, love," Namjoon breathes, eyes never leaving yours. 

"I want to feel you. Please." He nods at your words and settles between your thighs once more. Your breath hitches in your throat at the thought of what's to come. 

"Tell me if you want to stop," he says as he presses kisses to your neck, up your throat, and across your cheeks. He does it all to distract you as he slides inside, but he doesn't need to. You've been fucking him for months now, you know exactly how big he is, and you're more than ready for it. 

What you aren't ready for is the way his skin feels against your walls, how you can feel every pulse and throb of his cock inside you. It's better than anything you've ever felt, beyond any descriptors you could find, and it only gets better as he slides out and then back in. 

His pace is slow but steady, a rhythmic glide to it that's making you obscenely wet. It's a stark contrast to the gentle way he kisses you, the softness of his lips against yours. The sound of his skin hitting yours fills the room as he breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against yours. 

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me," You tell him, sliding your hands along every inch of skin you can get. 

Nothing is loud enough to mask the sound of the door opening, however, and when you glance over you can see that Hoseok and Cat have apparently finished whatever the fuck it was they were doing. 

You shy back, doing your best to cover yourself from their eyes, but Namjoon's pace doesn't falter. 

" Taken ," He growls. He doesn't even break eye contact as he does so, and the way his hand tightens on your hip makes you think he isn't just talking about the bedroom. 

Thankfully the couple disappears after that, closing the door behind them as they go, and it flips a switch inside Namjoon somehow. 

His pace speeds up, pistoning in and out of you mercilessly. He starts to angle his hips, searching until you finally cry out with your back arching up off the bed itself. He just smiles and continues to hit that spot, one hand moving to support your back while the other rubs teasing circles into your clit. 

"That's it, love," he purrs. "Wanna watch you come for me like this. Let yourself fall apart on my cock, Slick, I'll be right here. I've got you." 

You really wish you could figure out what exactly it is he does then; some kind of swivel of his hips while his fingers do some complicated twist or something, you have no doubt, but nevertheless, it's got you unraveling underneath him. You clench around him, harder than you ever have, and you can feel the sheets soaking underneath you from the strength of your orgasm. 

It takes barely two more thrusts for Namjoon to come as well, stilling slightly as his cum hits your walls for the first time. It's warm and you can feel it settling inside of you, but you can't say you don't enjoy it. 

You're both panting, out of breath and exhausted and having worked all the food Seokjin made out of your system. Namjoon disappears for a few seconds before returning with a warm cloth to clean you up; his hands are tender as he does so, and you find yourself falling even deeper. 

After a quick power nap and an even quicker quickie - because Namjoon insisted that it wasn't fair that you got to go down on him but he didn't get to go down on you - the two of you mingle with the others. Hoseok and Cat fit seamlessly into the group, filling a space you hadn't realized was missing during dinner. It's obvious to you, as you lean against the kitchen island and watch them all, just how much this group loves each other. Even the newcomers, like the new girlfriends, are absorbed so perfectly into the existing group that it's as if they never left.

Hell, even Pumpkin is smiling a little, although you can't be sure it's not just because Seokjin looks Like That. 

"Ooh, icing," Namjoon says as he comes to join you in the kitchen. Seokjin barely gets a chance to say anything as Namjoon drags his thumb across the white droplet and sucks it into his mouth. 

The baker looks horrified, and you wish you knew why. Namjoon agrees, based on the look on his face. 

"What?" Namjoon asks. "It was good." Seokjin's face is as pale as it can possibly get when he waves Namjoon away, and you have a sneaking suspicion of just what your boyfriend put in his mouth. 

You don't bother to hide your smile as said boyfriend comes over to you and hands you a glass of champagne.

"What are you so happy about?" He asks teasingly.

"You," You tell him honestly. It's worth it when he ducks his head, shy smile making his dimples stand out even as he tries to hide it. "I adore you."

Namjoon doesn't respond, just kisses you. He breaks away for a few minutes, saying something to someone else, and when the clock strikes midnight, he presses another gentle kiss to your lips.

"What are you wishing for?" He asks. 

"Midnight wishes? Really?" You tease. He cocks a brow and you smile. "I don't need to wish for anything. I got everything I wanted this year." 

"Really? Everything?" 

You nod, straightening his tie ever so slightly. "And what about you? What are you wishing for?"

"Oh, that's easy." He wraps an arm around you and grins. "For you to finally accept the bear I made you that day in the mall."

"Moni loves that thing, I couldn't possibly take it from him."

"But it's got a microscope! And a lab coat!"

Well then," You tell him, dropping your voice so the others won't hear. "I suppose you'll have to make me another." 

He glances over to where Yoongi and Peaches stand and then back to you. 

"Covert mission to also get another for Jisoo?"

"Glad we're on the same page here," You tell him with a smile.

[liv-n]

Pierre- Reggie (Julie and the Phantoms)

   Summary: One of Julie’s friends likes Reggie and decides to let him know through a song (Based on the song: “Pierre”, by Ryn Weaver, here: )

Prompt: “I found me a lover who can play the bass, he’s kinda quiet but his body ain’t” 

Background: The girl is able to see Luke, Reggie and Alex, after playing a small set with them. 

T/W: none :), just fluff, oh- light swearing- and mention of death

A/N: idk man, i just think people who play bass are really cool- and i immediately thought of him when i heard this song so- It’s also currently snowing here, so i thought i’d hunker down and do some writing!

A/N 2: OKAY SO THIS TOOK 2 WEEKS LONGER THAN I EXPECTED, PLEASE APPRECIATE it 😅

“Are you sure about this?” Julie asked.

“Nope- but we’re doing it-” You replied. 

“Hell yeah!” Flynn cheered.

I’d taught her drums, with the help of Alex, just for this very song. I were really talented music-wise, so when Julie had trouble writing a song and i helped her, she felt she had to tell me the truth about her band. At first I thought it was a bit weird, I always felt like I was being watched, but after a while it became more comforting. 

Alex said that it was a great idea, even if he didn’t like me, he would be nice about it. Which I knew, but it didn’t relieve any of the fears I had. 

A stage hand, in full black, came up to me, “You guys are on in 5-”

“I’m so nervous-” I said looking to Julie and Flynn for comfort.

“You’re gonna be great!” 

“He may not even know its about him, and if he rejects you- just deny it!” Julie said

“but- then it wouldn’t have been worth it-” I replied, looking for an excuse to run for it.

“Now you’re just looking for excuse- take a deep breath,” Flynn took a deep breath for me to mirror, “you got this. and I’m 98 percent sure, he likes you too.”

I took another deep breath, finally calming myself before hearing Julie shriek.

“Um.. y/n! Our bassist just cancelled, i don’t know how we’re going to do this-”

I swore under my breath, trying to stay calm, we could fix this! 

“Doesn’t Chloe play the bass in the school’s band?” Julie nodded, so i stuck my head out of the curtain, to make sure she was there. I scanned the crowd for Chloe, before catching Reggie’s eye. I found Chloe, and i signaled for her to come backstage, and with a quick nod to Reggie, who looked concerned, i hid back behind the curtain.

“Okay Chloe- you can play the bass right?” I asked, as soon she walked in.

“Yeah, i guess so-” 

“Aren’t you the best bass player at school? At least that’s what I heard” I said, trying to pump her up. 

“Oh.” she said, blushing, “sure, what’s up?”

“Can you play for us? Y/N here,” Flynn said, pointing to me, “Likes Reggie and she wants to tell him in a song, but our bassist cancelled, so can you help?”

“it’s a really simple tab!” I said, try to comfort the worried Chloe.

“Oh- Okay. I think i can do that.” 

“You’re gonna be great,” Julie said to Chloe, before looking to me, “And you, too. He’s gonna love it.” 

Flynn mocked another deep breath for me to copy, as the stagehand came back to tell us we had to go on.

“Shit! We didn’t get to practice!” Chloe said.

“I’ll just tell you when we get on.” I said, trying to act like i’d gotten my act together. I had not. 

“Next up: A small band performing an original song: Please welcome... Y/N, Julie, Flynn, and...” the announcer trailed off, looking for our original bassist, but finding Chloe, “Chloe!” 

The crowd cheered, but hearing the boys cheering the loudest was the surge of adrenaline i needed. 

I walked over to Chloe, and whispered 4 basic notes in her ear, before mocking the beat on my electric guitar. Reggie looked up, and raised an eyebrow, not knowing i knew how to play bass. When i caught him doing a little smirk and nod, I mockingly shrugged my shoulders, and began to play.

I danced in the desert in the pouring rain. Drank with the devil and forgot my name Woke with somebody when the morning came. No one there to shame me for my youth. ‘Cause i wouldn’t be with you.

I saw Alex and Luke, jumping around in their seats, dancing to the song, but it was Reggie, just standing there admiring the song, that made my heart skip a beat. I took every ounce of courage I had, locked eyes with Reggie for a moment and sang the next lyric.

And then I found me a lover who can play the bass, he’s kinda quiet but his body ain’t.

Luke and Alex stopped jumping, turned to Reggie, who was blushing profusely.

“Bro- Is this song about you?” Luke said, playfully pushing him.

“I think it is!” Alex said, knowing it was definitely about him.

“So she likes you, too?” Luke asked.

So she likes you, too.

Hearing that three letter word at the end of the question, made my heart flutter. It was a bit concerning Reggie was still staring at me in disbelief. 

I’ll come around.

And with the last line, the song was over, and I now had to face Reggie. My hands were shaking by the time i got off stage. 

“OMG! OMG! Go to talk to him!” Julie was practically screaming at me, but it was the motivation I needed, so I took her advice.

I was walking towards the boys to ask where Reggie was, while looking down and my hands, which were still shaking, I bumped into someone.

“Hey there!” the familiar voice said.

oh shit-

“Hey Reggie!” i replied, trying to keep my heart from launching out of my throat. 

“So about the song...” he started.

“yeah...?”

“did you mean what you said in those lyrics?” Reggie asked, my eyes refusing to meet his, but if i had looked up, i would’ve seen how much he wanted me to say ‘yes’.

“uh- well... yes- but no- well... it depends...” i trailed off as Reggie took my face in his hands, forcing our eyes to meet. 

“do you like me?”

“yeah, yeah i do.” his face lit up.

“really?!”

“yeah!” i replied, trying to match his excitement.

“wow! how cool!” he took my hands into his own and asked, “would you, Y/N, make me the happiest bassist on Earth and get coffee with me?” 

“I would love to, but-” i saw Reggie’s face drop, “You’re a ghost, you don’t eat!”

[sakebytheriver]

I think the reason why Siren's betrayal cuts deeper than other shows who did the same racist and homophobic bullshit is because when I first started watching Siren I expected all the stupid stuff they did in season 3 to happen in season 1. Like all of us really predicted the things they did in season 3 after the first episode and we were all saying please don't do what we think you're going to do, because we'd all seen it before, we'd all been burned before and we didn't want it to happen again. And then season 2 happened and they didn't do those things, they steered directly away from that dumb shit and I was so surprised and so happy, because I felt like I could really trust these writers after season 2, they really proved to me that they were going to be different. They assured us that Maddie was important, that she would never be abandoned, that this half black half Indigenous queer woman was loved not just by her partners, but also by her father (who by the way was a well rounded indigenous man which is extremely rare) and friends and that they would never abandon her, because this throuple was an equal triad. The show also did its best to subvert the born sexy yesterday trope with Ryn, they never treated her like she was so sexy for not knowing anything and that it was erotic how the two humans had to teach her how to be like them, when they did teach her things it never felt like there was a power imbalance, Ryn always had agency and choice and most of the "lessons" they taught the mermaids was about putting everyone on equal footing, that everyone is worthy and deserving of the same respect and boundaries and personal agency. Ben really looked like he would be this horrible cliche entitled white guy who would go through some man pain about "oh i love my girlfriend but this new mermaid is so sexy aha" but he didn't, he never acted like he was entitled to Maddie or to Ryn he left it up to the two girls to tell him how they were feeling, when Ryn first started to make advances on the two of them the couple were completely transparent with each other, there were no secrets, no "we can't tell Maddie/Ben about this" it was always open communication. And one thing I really appreciate is they never had a moment where Ben saw the two women together and did that dumb straight boy thing of "oh wow girl on girl action so sexy" he always treated any type of love and type of attraction as normal, as valid and when Levi tried to kiss him after Maddie did, Ben was surprised but there was no "no homo" moment instead he turned it into a conversation about consent, about how there's nothing wrong with Levi wanting to kiss Ben or other men, but that it has to be agreed upon beforehand. The reason why Siren's betrayal hurts more than other shows that did the same exact thing is because they made me trust them first. I did not trust the writers during season 1, I was cautious and hesitant, but then in season 2 they told me I could trust them and then in season 3 they broke that trust almost immediately. If you look back in my Siren tag you will see me openly praising this show, you will see me being so happy at how different this show was at how it really seemed like it was something new, something we could trust. In my real life I was recommending this show to my friends before season 3 came out. I don't think I've ever been so betrayed by a show before, I've seen shows implode on themselves and start making all the wrong decisions before, this isn't new for me. But what was new was the fact that I was so emotionally invested in this show, the fact that I was trying to get other people into this show, the fact that I really didn't see this coming and how it totally blindsided me. Siren was one of my favorite shows and over the course of season 3 they made it so that I am now unable to go back and watch the good times. And looking through the fandom the sentiment is pretty much the same, that we were all so emotionally invested in this show and they really made us trust them so implicitly only to betray that trust in the end. It hurts. It hurts more to me because I feel shame for having recommended this show, I feel embarrassed for ever saying it was good, and I feel so sad for these characters that were just so good being ruined in some of the most cliche and obvious ways imaginable. I just wish I was still able to watch season 1 and 2 without thinking about how bad season 3 was, but at this point I can't 

[ahsung]

2020 CREATOR WRAP: FAVORITE WORKS

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work

I was tagged by: @gimme-a-chocolate, @koreandragon, @deokmis and @cuddlybitch! Thank you for tagging me <3

jipyeong and dosan’s hilarious friendship: i kinda love how the colours look on this like i experimented with really vibrant sets for start-up and i kinda hate most of them looking back now but this one actually turned out pretty nice

the funny behind the scenes for totnt: i love how this did numbers while it isn’t like a scene from an actual kdrama like i appreciate how everyone also appreciated how funny this entire vid was

this one school nurse files gifset: funniest thing about this was seeing a kfan on twt reposting like the second gif with like 3k retweets... i was like shit i have been found on korean drama twitter... what do i do with this info

rooftop talks with my fav prosecutor and detective duo: this scene was insanely pretty like the pinks especially make the set look so good like they shot this so well i feel like i could’ve coloured it horribly and it still would be a pretty set

2020, the year i stop sleeping on life on mars: okay so let’s make way for one of my favourite dramas of all time the cinematography, the casting, the plot was mostly good and the side pining... amazing *chef’s kiss* exactly my style <333 i put kinda a lot of effort into this set and it turned out exactly how i wanted so that was a win

this where your eyes linger set: i love the colours of this set and i just like the vibes it gives overall... the funniest thing is that i think i got the size wrong bcs i was experimenting with this ratio for the first time so i think its like 500px instead of 540px wide ahahah

cloy... oh cloy this feels like years ago: this set did numbers and good for it like i just did not expect it to i simply giffed bcs i like giffing green scenic scenes and thought i’d gif something to end the drama with... i think i also giffed another scene from the last ep and i thought that one would be more popular but this went post went off

hospital playlist scenes from trailer: the fact i giffed from a trailer shows how excited i was for this drama and like i think i giffed this after ep1 aired and was like damn i am excited but yeah i love this gifset a tad bit

i haven’t made a lot of sets this year actually so this wasn’t too hard to narrow down and pick my favourite ahaha

tagging (tried to tag ppl that haven’t already done it but don’t feel forced to do it <3): @kaydrama, @yesdramas, @yewon, @minhyowon, @cheonsoho, @sunghoons, @captainjoongki, @kdramanewbie, @lavenderbyun, @leekangdoo,  @haeyeongs, @banghae, @ryn-s, @wooyoungbby, @sofarawayinthemilkyway, @oh-haru, @hinakudos, @mufalo​, @ignitesme​