#oh right the choker. yeah i might order one next week i think. at the very least just to see if i'm okay with wearing them even though i

[quitedisastrous]

didn't find a good spiked choker at the mall yesterday :( i'll probably order one online though

[silverlightqueen]

Ruin My Life - Part 8

RML masterlist

(fratboy!Jimin - smutty smut !!! A N G ST & a lil bit of fluff ig)

Summary - y/n goes on another night out and runs into a familiar face... not one we expect either. Jimin is a dick, y/n gets her own back, Joon has a crisis and Tae... well ion wanna spoil anything👀

Word Count - 11.5k+

Warnings - oh god here goes um explicit sex, penetrative sex, ‘sir’, explicit dirty talk, sub!reader and dom!male (I don’t wanna give anything away lol), spanking, oral sex (male and female receiving), degradation, edging, multiple orgasms, pussy slapping, fingering, it is FILTH lol, with discussion of alcohol too

a/n: y’all I know it’s been a while but I hope this was worth the wait lmao um unedited as usual but I really hope y’all like it, lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist x

silverlightqueen masterlist

taglist💕: @keylowmonie @jennafromhome @btrombley13 @parkjammys @chubschimmine @flowingwiththewater​ @magicalpjm​ @sakurauchiha2018​ @kyrie1707​ @simonemothjensen​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @p-yoon​

‘You ready yet, y/n?’ Chen calls from the living room, as I pull on my heels. ‘Yeah, just one second!’ I call back, tucking my phone into the pocket of my jeans, and tottering down the hall to the living room where Mija, Chen and Jackson. ‘It’s already 10.30. I’m always waiting on you, bitch. Why ain’t you ever waiting on me?’ Mija demands, and I laugh. ‘It just wouldn’t work the other way around,’ I reply, and she rolls her eyes. ‘You look good, though, I guess,’ she says, and I grin, doing a little twirl. I’m dressed in a pair of light-wash blue jeans, tighter than tight, with a sheer black bodysuit and a pretty black bralet beneath, lacy and all, black heels on my feet, a thick, black lace choker around my neck. ‘Damn, Chen, I might have to steal your date tonight,’ Jackson jokes, Mija slapping his arm gently. ‘Kidding, babe, kidding,’ he says, Mija rolling her eyes. ‘She looks better than me, anyway, so I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I say, admiring Mija in the little black dress she has on, a pair of my black heels (because god knows I have endless pairs) on her feet. ‘And y/n’s not my date, Jackson, she’s got the wrong sexual reproductive organs,’ Chen says, making all three of us laugh as he takes my phone and lip-gloss from me, putting them into his jeans pocket instead because I don’t like carrying stuff around in mine. ‘I mean, if I was straight, I’d totally go for you, y/n, you’re hot as fuck, but, sadly, I am as gay as you are hot so…’ he trails off, and I shake my head at him with laughter, proud of how far he’s come in speaking about in his sexuality. 

We’ve become a little group of four these past couple weeks; Mija, Jackson, Chen and I. Both boys are from KPN (which means that Mija and Jackson were getting it on in the frat house whilst I was crying on Chen), and it’s useful having them as friends, as they help us avoid the rest of their frat (and god knows I need to, Eunwoo furious at me leaving him with blue balls). Mija and Jackson aren’t exclusive, but they’re kinda dating, I guess. Since that night, we’ve been out to different bars and clubs with them, and each night has ended in them two fucking in Mija’s room whilst Chen and I watch various Disney films in my room. We’re nearly all the way through the Pixar films. I’m happy for Mija, having noticed how much Jackson makes her smile and laugh, but I can’t help but think about her and Tae together. I did really want them to work, but as long as she’s happy with Jackson, I’m happy too. I’m also really happy for Chen too; he came out to his brothers last week and they were nothing but supportive, not a single one of them cracking the ‘don’t fall in love with me, bro’ joke. It’s gotten around to the rest of the university too, but he hasn’t let the gossiping and rumours affect him at all, secure and happy within himself.

‘Right, let’s go,’ Chen says, all of us trooping out of the door and down to where the Uber is parked in front of our building. We all pile in, Jackson sat up front with the driver whilst Chen is forced to sit between Mija and I who sing along to the music obnoxiously loud, documenting the entire journey for our Snapchat private stories (we love wannabe vloggers). When we arrive, Chen and Jackson flash their VIP cards at the bouncer, who lets us in instantly with a smile, having seen us several times over the past few weeks, ignoring the protests and complaints from everyone waiting in the queue. We head over to our usual booth in the corner, always kept empty, and I don’t bother keeping an eye out for KPN, knowing that they’ve all gone out to another bar across town. However, what I don’t expect to see is the ASP boys dancing in a huddle in the middle of the dance floor. Jungkook spots me and subtly nods at me, a small smile on his face, obviously not wanting his hyung, who dances opposite him, to notice. I give a small wave back before ducking behind Chen, sliding into the booth hastily. ‘ASP?’ Mija asks, scanning the dance floor, and I nod just as she spots them, a dirty look appearing on her face. ‘Whatever, it’s fine, let’s just ignore them. They don’t matter anyway,’ I say, Mija nodding in agreement. ‘Well, he doesn’t matter; the rest of them do,’ Jackson says, earning eye-rolls from Mija and myself. ‘Shut up, Jackson,’ Chen says half-heartedly as he waves over a waiter who takes one look at us and nods, already knowing our drinks orders; a Mai Tai for me, a gin and tonic for Chen, a Jack and coke for Jackson, and a vodka and coke for Mija.

‘Right, what kind of night is it tonight, y/n? A looking-to-be-dicked-down night or a night-out-with-the-squad night?’ Jackson asks, rubbing his hands together. ‘Hmm, I’m not sure yet. If you guys can find me some good dick, then the former. If not, then the latter,’ I say. ‘So we’re second choice?’ Mija asks indignantly, and we all laugh. ‘What about that boy over there, by the bar? Tall, skinny, blond hair,’ Chen suggests, all of us looking over. ‘Hmm, too tall. I’d look like a midget next to him,’ I say, all of us searching the bar again. ‘What about him? The one in the booth, muscles, blonde hair. He doesn’t look too tall,’ Jackson suggests, and I shake my head. ‘He’s too muscly. I don’t like that many muscles,’ I say, and Jackson rolls his eyes. ‘That one? At the door?’ Chen says, and I shake my head again. ‘I like a toned guy. You know I’m not into dad-bod,’ I say, Chen shaking his head. ‘That one?’ Jackson says, motioning to a guy who dances near our booth. ‘Um, yeah, he seems alright. Cute, I guess,’ I say, and this time Chen shakes his head. ‘More my type than yours. He’s definitely gay,’ he says, Jackson sighing in annoyance. ‘That one over there?’ Chen suggests. ‘I’m more into light hair than dark,’ I say. ‘That one?’ Jackson asks. ‘Na, he looks too… serious. I like a guy with duality,’ I say, and Jackson lets out an annoyed noise. ‘You’re too fussy! How are we supposed to find you someone?’ he exclaims. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I guess I just have a refined taste,’ I say, and Chen and Jackson shake their heads, Mija silent. ‘Well, I guess none of these lot are gonna live up to your standards then,’ Chen says, and I shake my head definitively. ‘So that means it’s a night-out-with-the-squad night! We need shots!’ Mija exclaims, all of us cheering in agreement. ‘We’ll go get them,’ Chen says, grabbing Jackson’s arm and pulling him out of the booth.

‘Babe, you’re not gonna find a carbon copy of Jimin,’ Mija says the second they’re out of earshot. ‘What?’ I exclaim, taken aback. ‘You want a light-haired, toned-but-not-muscly, taller-than-you-but-not-too-tall guy with duality? You basically explained Jimin, babe, and as much as I know you’re still into him, you’re just not gonna find a guy like that,’ Mija says, and I sigh, resting my face on my hand. ‘I know, I know. I can’t help it. No one even compares to him,’ I breathe out, and Mija gives me a sad smile. ‘You’ll find the right one, y/n, and it’s just not him. Give it some time. But in the meantime, it’s not like you can’t sleep with a remotely attractive guy, even if you don’t fall in love with him at first sight. It’s been a while since you got dicked down, babe,’ she says, and I nod in agreement. ‘When the boys get back, we’ll do some shots, get super drunk, and then you can go dance and get yourself a man,’ Mija says, and I nod with a grin, liking the sound of her plan. The boys appear then, holding twelve shots between them, and we do three each before downing the drinks we already have, ordering more. Less than half an hour later, the four of us are sufficiently drunk, and so Jackson and I manage to convince Chen and Mija to get up and dance relatively easily.

We meld into the group of dancers in the middle of the room, Mija and Jackson grinding against each other as Chen and I dance modestly (in comparison, anyway) together. Every few minutes, I’ll feel hands on me, and I turn to see what it is the person looks like. Every time, I’m not too keen on what I see, and so shoot Chen a look, who then steps in claiming to be my boyfriend, scaring all the boys away. Chen is very intimidating, I’ll say that; tall, handsome and serious-looking, I wouldn’t mess with him if someone paid me for it. And then, one of the times, I’m surprised when I turn to see a girl. ‘Hey, sweetie,’ she says, body pressed up against me. We’re the same height, with the same body shape, probably able to pass for sisters if we had to. I turn to face her, her hands still on my waist, and smile at her. ‘I’m sorry but I’m straight,’ I say, and she sighs. ‘I’m sure I saw you earlier, sat in that booth, and you looked like you were into girls,’ she says, and I let out a laugh, the two of us still dancing together. It’s weird; I don’t feel at all uncomfortable or intimidated by her, just going to show that girls know how to accept it when they’re told no. ‘You’re probably getting me confused with my friend,’ I say, motioning over to Mija, ‘she’s bi.’ ‘Oh, yeah, it’s her,’ the girl says, before she spots Jackson. ‘Boyfriend?’ she asks, and I shake my head. ‘They’re not exclusive. If you’re into boys too, I’d go for it if I were you. I doubt they’d say no to a third… party,’ I say, and she laughs. ‘I might just do that. Thanks, girl,’ she says, giving me a quick hug before sidling over to Mija and Jackson who instantly let her move in between them, all three dancing together.

I laugh to myself, and before I can even say anything to Chen, Taehyung appears before me. ‘y/n! Babe!’ he exclaims, pulling me into a friendly hug. ‘Hey, Tae!’ I reply, my words probably muffled in his (solid) chest, my makeup most definitely transferring onto his top (thank god it’s black). ‘Can I just say that you with that girl nearly made me hard,’ he says with a mischievous grin. ‘Urgh, Tae, what the fuck?’ I exclaim, trying to hold back a laugh at his complete honesty. ‘Sorry. But come get a drink with me, it’s been a while,’ he offers, and I think it over. What have I got to lose? As much as he can be an idiot, he’s a good guy at heart, and he and Mija don’t have any hard feelings as far as I’m aware, so I don’t see why it’d cause any problems. And it’d definitely make Jimin jealous too. I check over my shoulder to see where Chen is, and he’s dancing with the guy Jackson pointed out earlier, the gay one, and I mentally cheer him on. ‘Yeah, sure,’ I say, letting Taehyung wrap a large hand around my wrist and lead me through the group of dancers up to the bar. He obviously doesn’t have a VIP card, but he manages to get through the crowd to the bar quickly, flirting his way through, shooting people smirks and winks. When we reach the bar, he orders us both a rum and coke along with a shot each, both of us downing the shots as soon as we get them. Honestly, if I continue hanging out with all these frat boys, my liver is going to be fucked before I’m thirty. We head over to the booth where I was sat earlier, still empty, and sit opposite one another. Tae’s eyes wander easily, shamelessly trawling all over me, repeatedly pausing on my chest before continuing. I don’t bother pulling him up on it, knowing there’s no real intention behind his actions. He’d never betray Jimin like that; we might not be a thing anymore, but you don’t sleep with your friend’s ex… or kind-of-ex either. It’s literally like a law… right?

‘You’re looking good, y/n. Really good,’ he says, and I smile, loving a bit of praise here and there. ‘Thanks, Tae. You don’t look too bad yourself,’ I reply with a grin, and he laughs, his adorable boxy smile appearing on his unfairly handsome face. He’s dressed in a black shirt that strains against his broad shoulders and chest, and plain black slim-fit jeans that accentuate his ass perfectly, a pair of black and gold Gucci dress shoes on his feet. ‘Don’t lie to yourself, you know I look better than ‘not too bad’, babe,’ he says confidently, and I roll my eyes. ‘You don’t need me inflating your head any more than it already is,’ I say, and he chuckles, leaning forward. ‘So you agree?’ he asks with a glint in his eyes. ‘You’re infuriating,’ I say, and he leans back, grinning. This is how our conversation for the next hour continues, going back and forth. Just when I think I’ve steered the conversation away from flirting, he throws a curveball and almost gives me whiplash from a flirty comment. And, horrifyingly, I feel myself starting to enjoy it. And then it all gets ruined.

‘Hey, Tae,’ Jimin says, both of us jumping at the sound of his voice. He stands at the side of the booth, hands in pockets, veins in his arms corded tight, and his voice sounds tense and strained. ‘Oh, hey, hyung,’ Tae says, completely at ease as he leans back in the booth and smiles easily up at the other boy. ‘Have you checked your phone? Kook’s been texting you,’ Jimin says, not even sparing a glance at me. I don’t mind, though; if we made eye contact, I’d most definitely shoot him a death stare. ‘Na, I haven’t. I’ve been distracted,’ Tae says with a grin at me, and I grin back before taking a sip from my drink. ‘Well, he was asking if you wanted to get in the Uber with us,’ Jimin says, ignoring Tae’s comment entirely. ‘Who’s us?’ ‘All of us. Me, Kook, Jin hyung, Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung,’ Jimin says impatiently, and I wonder why Hobi isn’t here. ‘How will we all fit?’ ‘For fuck’s sake, Tae, do you wanna come or not? We’ll get a seven-seater,’ Jimin says in a tone that indicates it’s obvious, and I can’t help but agree. Tae’s being purposely difficult to piss him off, and I’m not quite sure why. ‘Na, I’ll hang around a bit longer, and make my own way back. You guys go ahead,’ Tae says, and Jimin hesitates. ‘You sure?’ he asks, and Tae nods with a definitive, ‘I’m sure,’ and so Jimin goes to join his hyungs and Kook who stand waiting a little while away, all of them waving when they spot me looking. I wave back with a wide smile, genuinely happy to see them all after such a long time, and when I turn back to Tae, he’s on his phone.

‘D’you wanna get out of here yet, y/n? Or hang around a while?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Where would we go?’ I ask, and he chuckles. ‘y/n, don’t be cryptic, you know what I’m asking you,’ he says, and I can’t lie, I’m tempted. ‘But…’ I trail off, not wanting to say it. ‘Jimin?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I don’t think it’s an issue. As much as you probably don’t want to talk about it, he said no to you. You two weren’t exclusive or committed to each other, and he turned down the opportunity to turn the relationship you had into something more. That was his choice. Now this is yours,’ he says seriously, and I really don’t know what to say. Because this isn’t just me deciding whether or not to go home with Tae, it’s me choosing to move on from Jimin or not. If I do this, I am admitting to myself that it is well and truly over with him, and I don’t know if I’m ready to do that yet. Tae instantly notices my hesitation, and sits back, looking at me thoughtfully. ‘You’re still not over him, are you?’ he asks, and I nod, knowing there’s no point in lying. ‘Well, this might not change your mind, but my room is right next to his, remember?’ he says with an impish grin, and I laugh before remembering something.

‘Mija,’ I say, and his face hardens. ‘What about her?’ he asks. ‘You two were kinda… you know?’ I say, and he lets out a false laugh. ‘She wasn’t… she wasn’t interested. And it was only like two days. And, I told you, didn’t I, that we didn’t sleep together that night? So there’s not like there’s really any history. But, I’m not going to lie to you, because you’ve told me the truth, I guess I kinda have had feelings for her for a little bit, but it’s obvious she’s not interested,’ he says, motioning over to Mija who dances with both Jackson and the other girl, the three of them in their own little world. ‘So this could be beneficial for me too. It’ll help us both get over each other’s best friends, and you can make Jimin jealous,’ he says with a grin, and I can’t help but laugh. ‘Okay, get an Uber,’ I say. ‘I already have,’ he smirks, and I swat at him, Tae laughing maniacally as he ducks from my hand. ‘Go tell your friends that you’re leaving, I don’t want them worrying about you and then murdering me when they find out I took you,’ he says, both of us getting up from the booth.

I head through the crowd of dancers and when I reach Mija, I tug on her arm gently, a smile breaking across her face when she sees me. ‘Tae’s just asked me to go home with him,’ I say, and her eyes widen. ‘Tae?’ she demands, and I nod. ‘If you don’t want me to, I won’t, but-’ ‘No, no, go for it! Go get that big, big dick, babe! Just text me and stuff, keep me updated,’ she says, and I feel my heart going out to Tae after hearing how she really doesn’t have any feelings for him at all. ‘You sure?’ I ask, and she nods. ‘Go get your shit wrecked!’ she says, pushing me gently towards the door, and I laugh as she re-joins Jackson and the other girl who sends me a wink and mouths, ‘have fun with your cute ass man’. I hold back a laugh at how similar she and Mija are and turn to find Chen. It doesn’t take long, easy to spot the two tall and handsome men dancing together and I push through the crowd. ‘Hey, y/n! This is Taeyong,’ he says, and I smile at drop-dead gorgeous man, who shoots me a smile in return, making my heart flutter with how handsome he is. And then, because I’m stupid, I say, ‘We both got Taes!’ Taeyong laughs and Chen quirks up a questioning eyebrow. ‘You’re going home with Taehyung?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘You sure that’s a good idea?’ he asks, and I shrug. ‘Life’s too short to worry about things like that,’ I say, Taeyong laughing again, and I decide I like him. If you laugh at my jokes, you’re guaranteed to be in my good books. ‘Okay, then. Keep me updated, and stay safe,’ Chen says, pulling me into a quick hug. I head towards the exit of the bar where Taehyung waits for me patiently, smiling when he spots me a few feet in front of him. ‘Uber’s here already, let’s go,’ he says, putting an arm around me and tucking a hand into my back pocket, hand curving to fit the curve of my ass. We head out, people still queueing outside to get in, and Tae opens the door of the Uber for me. I get a flashback to that night with Eunwoo, sat in the back of an Uber with another handsome man.

When we arrive back at the frat, Tae leads me up to the front door, holding it open for me. He clasps my hand and pulls me up the stairs, the two of us giggling the entire way up because of how tipsy we are, but the light atmosphere between us disappears as soon as his bedroom door shuts. I’ve never been in Tae’s room before, surprised to see that it’s quite clean and very lavish, the wardrobe open to reveal designer labels after designer labels. ‘Something else interesting you, y/n?’ he asks, now sat atop his silk bedsheets, leaning back on his hands and watching me amusedly. The youthful, light-hearted boy in him has disappeared now, leaving behind a formidable and intimidating man. I shake my head, and he chuckles. ‘I asked you a question, darling,’ he says as I put my phone down on his bedside table, beside his own phone. ‘No, Tae,’ I reply, and he stands up, holding out a hand which I place mine in. ‘It’s sir to you now, babe,’ he says, pulling me up against him, and pressing his lips gently to mine. The kiss coupled with the fact that he’s just told me to call him sir already has my pants dampening embarrassingly, and I let out a gentle whine into his mouth. ‘I would’ve said to call me daddy, but I don’t want Jimin barging in here all angry, ruining the mood,’ he grins, pressing his lips to mine again, our mouths moving in sync. He tastes delicious, like alcohol and something else, something unique that I can’t quite put my finger on, and my senses are flooded with the smell of him, his expensive Gucci perfume and something distinctly Tae, the deep and attractive smell I’ve smelt before.

He breaks away from me then, arms still around my waist, and asks, ‘I’ve heard Jimin talking about you and him like twice, but I don’t want to just assume, so I wanted to ask what your limits are.’ My heart melts at how sweet he is, but then I realise; I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had to explain it because Eunwoo was pretty vanilla anyway, and Jimin just always seemed to know. ‘Um, I’m open to most stuff, just nothing too extreme or painful. I don’t mind degradation, or light bondage, or, um, edging and denial,’ I say, hesitating with each word. ‘Anything else?’ he asks, and I think for a moment. ‘You just do your thing, and I’ll let you know if it’s too far. I’ll just say a safe word,’ I suggest, and he nods. ‘What word?’ he asks. ‘Um… how about… pickle?’ I say, thinking back to that dreadful night I threw up on top of a pickle, and he nods with an amused grin. ‘Namjoon hyung told me about that. Gross,’ he says, and I laugh. ‘Pickle it is, then. Now… I think you’re wearing too many clothes,’ he says, voice lowering, before he presses his lips back to mine again. He walks me back to the bed and gently pushes me, causing me to land amongst his silk sheets. I kick off my heels as his fingers come to the buttons of my jeans, eyes locking with mine for another confirmation that I’m okay with this. I nod with a smile, and he makes quick work of the buttons and the zip, pulling the tight jeans down my legs and throwing them across the room. He flicks open the clasp to my bodysuit lazily, fingers grazing my core, and my breath catches in my throat. A grin spreads across his handsome face as I sit up and he pulls the bodysuit over my head, throwing that to where my jeans sit too.

‘Fuck, you’re so fucking gorgeous, y/n,’ he mutters, eyes drinking in my body clad in just my pants, lacy bralet and choker. ‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ I whisper, and he laughs, coming down to briefly press his lips to mine. ‘God, you’re such an annoying bitch sometimes,’ he says jokingly, and I roll my eyes. ‘No, I’m not kidding. Always turning me down, like you don’t find me as attractive as I find you,’ he says, hands skimming over my sides before he stands at the edge of the bed, undoing his belt and pulling his jeans down just past the bulge in his boxers. ‘I’ve been dying to just shut you up,’ he says, pulling his boxers down so his hard (and huge) length springs up against his stomach. I take a deep breath at the sight, before my eyes flit up to his, an arrogant smirk on his face. ‘I’ve been dying to have you choking on my cock so you can’t lie about how you don’t fucking want me when I know you do,’ he says, his words coaxing a whimper from me. ‘Come on, babe,’ he says, pumping his length with a grin, ‘show me why Jimin’s had blue balls since you cut him off.’

I sit up, taking him into my hand and pumping him gently before I gently lick the tip, swirling the tip of my tongue around him a few times. He grabs my hair, pulling my head back so I our eyes meet, and his eyebrows are raised. ‘I didn’t tell you to tease me, babe. Don’t push your luck,’ he says, and I nod, before taking him as deep into my throat as I can. He lets out a low groan as I work up and down his length, bobbing up and down and taking more and more of him in each time. His hands wander up and down my shoulders and neck with a possessive grip, letting out low groans and grunts every now and then. I haven’t even managed to take him all the way in when he pulls out of my mouth, and I look up at him in confusion, wiping at my chin as he tucks himself back in and rebuckles his belt. ‘You’re good, babe – great, in fact – but I’ve changed my mind. I wanna make you feel good,’ he says, pushing me back against the bed. I crawl further up until I’m near the headboard, Tae climbing over me. ‘I wanna make you shout my name so loud he can’t even sleep next door,’ he whispers in my ear. I press my lips to his skin, pressing gentle kisses along his jaw and neck as his hand strays down to between my legs. He pushes my thighs apart, his hand disappearing into my pants and cupping my core, having me breathing raggedly against his skin. He swipes his fingers along my dripping wet slit, and I let out a whine, hearing him chuckle lowly. I bite and suck on the skin of his neck and collarbones as his fingers lightly dance around my folds, sending gentle waves of pleasure through me. ‘You want it, babe?’ he asks, and I hum against his skin as I leave marks, hoping he’ll get the message. ‘That wasn’t an answer,’ he growls, fingers stilling in my pants. ‘Yes,’ I breathe out, and his free hand comes to my throat, pressing gently. ‘Yes, what?’ he asks, dark lusting eyes locked with mine. ‘Yes, sir,’ I whisper, and he grins.

‘Tell me what you want, babe,’ he says, moving off me. ‘Your fingers, sir, please,’ I breathe out, earning a kiss from him. ‘Hands and knees,’ he says, and I swiftly turn over, hands and knees pressing into the soft silk. ‘Such a pretty ass, huh?’ he says, big hands caressing my ass. ‘I wonder how it looks all nice and bruised up. Shall we find out, babe?’ he asks, his hands pausing, waiting for an answer. ‘Yes, sir,’ I reply dutifully, and he chuckles lowly. ‘Belt marks or hand marks? Has Park ever used his belt on you?’ he asks, the smirk audible in his voice. ‘No, sir, never,’ I reply. ‘Do you wanna try it babe, or just hands?’ he asks softly, and I smile at his checking in with me first. ‘Hands, please, sir,’ I say, and he breathes out a laugh. ‘Okay. Just hands,’ he says, before his hand comes down and lands on my ass, the slap resounding around the room loudly. He lands a few more slaps, earning gasps and whimpers from me, and each of them gets harder and louder. ‘Mmm, all nice and red, just for me,’ he whispers, pressing kisses up my spine, and my knees become weak at the feeling.

He pulls my pants down to my knees, the cold air hitting my core instantly, and I shiver at the feeling. ‘God, you’re dripping, babe. Is this from sucking my dick, or being spanked?’ he asks, hands running over my ass and down my thighs, completely missing the area I need him most. ‘Both, sir,’ I reply, and he chuckles. ‘I always knew you were a slut deep down,’ he says lowly, sending a shiver through me. Without warning, he plunges two fingers into me, a moan of his name falling from my lips at the burning stretch. He lands a harsh spank on my ass, with a deep ‘it’s sir to you.’ He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of my core, gentle whines and moans falling from my mouth. ‘Good, babe? Does that feel good?’ he asks. ‘Yes, sir, god, yes,’ I reply breathlessly, arms shaking with the force of holding myself up. After a minute or so of mind-numbing pleasure, one of my arms gives way, nearly having me face-plant the silk pillow covers. ‘Oh, are poor baby’s arms getting tired?’ he asks teasingly, turning me over onto my back. ‘I can’t complain, I get to see this pretty face now,’ he says, and I smile shyly. He spreads my legs again, and settles between them, his position reminding me almost of a kid laid out on their stomach, watching the TV.

‘Such a pretty little pussy, sweetheart,’ he says, almost teasingly, as he eyes my glistening core. ‘I wanna taste you, babe, can I?’ he asks, voice deep, and I moan at his words. ‘Please,’ I breathe out, and he chuckles under his breath. ‘You’re such a pain in the ass. Please what?’ he demands, sounding exasperated. ‘Please, sir, your mouth,’ I whimper, and he laughs again, his breath warm against my core. ‘Louder. I want him to hear you,’ he whispers, and I laugh internally at his pettiness. ‘Please, sir, I need your mouth, please,’ I beg louder, and he lets out a satisfactory chuckle. ‘Better,’ he says before licking a bold stripe up my core. I let out a loud moan as he begins to lick at my slit like he hasn’t eaten in months. ‘You taste fucking amazing,’ he says between licks, loud whimpers and moans falling from my lips. I wind my fingers into wavy, soft brown locks, pulling him closer between my legs, and he slides my thighs up over his shoulders, giving him better access. ‘Sir, fuck, feels so good,’ I moan, and he laughs against my core. ‘Rub it in a bit more,’ he prompts, and I’m more than happy to oblige. ‘Sir, please! I…feels so good,’ I cry out, not holding back as he practically devours me. I try my best to stay still but I begin to squirm in his sheets, and he loses his patience. ‘y/n, stop fucking moving before I make you cum until you’re sobbing,’ he threatens and I stop myself from moving. ‘Actually… maybe I’ll do just that,’ he says with a devilish grin, going back to his ministrations, twice the speed and force. Broken moans, whimpers and whines fall from my mouth every few seconds as he brings me closer and closer to my climax, and when he adds two fingers alongside his mouth, I hit my orgasm with a loud moan, back arching up off the bed.

Once I’ve come down, I meet his eyes, the sight of his chin and mouth covered in my release making me wet once more. ‘You okay?’ he asks, standing up at the foot of the bed, and I nod, eyes flitting down the bulge in his jeans. ‘I’ve just made you cum, and you’re already eyeing my dick like a deprived little cockslut. Was that not enough for you?’ he asks, and I shake my head, biting my lip gently. ‘Fuck, come here,’ he says, and I crawl down the bed. ‘Help me out,’ he says, kicking his shoes and socks off, and I unbutton his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and leaving his chest bare. His muscles are defined, not as much as Jimin’s, but still noticeable. His shoulders are broader, and strong, and his waist is small, an enticing v-line visible above the waist of his jeans. I unbutton his jeans and push them down his legs, the boy kicking them away. He unclasps my bra and I pull my pants off, leaving both of us completely naked. He picks me up and sweeps all the papers and stationery off his desk, putting me down onto the polished wood. He reaches into one of the drawers as I press kisses to and pull on the skin of his collarbones and neck, leaving marks in my wake. He pulls out a condom, slipping it on hastily, and I wrap my legs around his waist.

‘Ready?’ he asks, and I nod, resting my hands on his biceps as he slowly pushes into me. We both let out moans at the feeling, and he gives me a little while to adjust. ‘Can I move?’ he asks. ‘Yes, sir, please,’ I reply, and he grins, beginning to slowly rock his hips back and forth, pulling nearly all of the way out before sliding all the way back in. ‘God, you’re so tight. He can’t have been fucking you that well,’ he says, voice deep and husky, and I want to point out that that’s not how the female body works, but I can’t get the words out, waves of pleasure washing over me. ‘Faster, sir, please,’ I whine, and he smirks, increasing his pace slightly. And that’s when I hear it. The desk starts to hit the wall, quietly at first, but Tae continues getting faster and the banging noise gets louder and louder as he does so. On the other side of the wall is Jimin, and the thought makes me moan out loud. ‘You like making him jealous, babe?’ Tae asks, and I whimper into his shoulder as his thrusts get faster and faster. ‘Moan for me, babe, get him mad,’ Tae prompts. ‘Sir, feels- oh! Feels so good, fuck!’ I moan, throwing my head back as his fingers begin rubbing at my clit, his other hand gripping my waist so hard I’m sure I’ll wake up with bruises in the morning. ‘Such a good little slut for me, aren’t you, y/n? Letting me fuck you next door to your ex,’ he growls against my ear, and I whimper at his words, already nearing my high. ‘I can feel you clenching, y/n, you gonna cum for me, baby?’ he says, the pet name making me clench even harder, and he moans out. ‘Sir, fuck, I’m gonna…’ I trail off, so close to my climax. And then he pulls out.

‘Tae,’ I whine, and he lands a slap to my core, not too hard, but hard enough that it catches me off-guard, making me let out a little whimper. ‘Don’t complain,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the desk. He leans down and presses his lips to mine, catching my mouth in a sloppy kiss as he pulls me away from the desk and towards the wall, pushing me up against it. ‘Jump,’ he says against my lips, and I do so, wrapping my legs around his waist once more, and he holds my body in place between his and the wall. Without warning, he pushes in and doesn’t start slowly, going at an almost painfully fast pace. My head falls back against the wall, making a noise, and I realise that Jimin will be able to hear that I’m being fucked against the wall because of how thin these walls are. ‘God, you’re fucking gushing,’ he says, the tops of his thighs practically soaked with my arousal. ‘All for you, sir,’ I moan out as he fucks into me, strained chuckles falling from his lips at that. ‘How would Park react to seeing you like this? Getting fucked by his best friend against the wall, moaning like a little bitch for me. Getting your pretty little pussy fucking pounded. He’d be a bit angry, I think. And hard,’ he breathes out, his words punctuated by moans from me, the image of Jimin’s angry face clear in my head.

‘Are you imagining I’m him, y/n? Imagining I’m your daddy?’ he asks, and I don’t answer, not wanting to admit that Jimin’s face has been in my mind since I walked into his bedroom. ‘I’m gonna take that as a yes. But it’s me, y/n, I’m the one making you feel this good. Look at me. Look at me while I fuck you,’ he says, grabbing my chin and turning my face so our eyes meet. His jaw is clenched, sweat dripping from his forehead, lips swollen and eyes dark and dilated. He moves one of my legs, so it’s bent between our bodies, and it allows him to thrust in even deeper, hitting the spot that makes me shout. ‘Fuck, sir, feels so good!’ I cry out, my eyes beginning to water as he fucks me relentlessly, filling me up completely as I tangle my fingers into his hair, gripping tightly. ‘Harder,’ I barely manage to breathe out and he laughs, doing as I wish, grunting from the effort. ‘Such a dirty fucking girl. Little bitch wants her pussy torn in half, huh? God, you’re so hot, y/n, so hot and fucking filthy. Hearing you and Jimin that night, fuck, I was so hard. I wanted to do what he was doing to you, wanted to make you scream like that,’ he admits, balls slapping against my ass as he thrusts into me ridiculously hard, knowing he’ll leave me sore tomorrow.

One of his hands rests at my neck, fingers pressing gently against my skin as his other hand begins to rub at my clit, bringing me ever closer to my climax. He begins to suck on my nipples sloppily, and I rest my head against the wall at all the different sensations. ‘You gonna cum, baby?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘Moan my name,’ he whispers in my ear, before pinching at my clit gently. It pushes me over the edge, and I reach my high with a scream of his name, Tae continuing to fuck me through my orgasm as I clench around him in a tight grip. ‘Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,’ he groans, pulling out of me. ‘Can I cum in your mouth?’ he asks, furiously pumping his cock, and I nod, getting to my knees shakily. I rip the condom off his cock and put my mouth around it, revelling in the deep moan that falls from his lips. His eyes are locked on me as I suck him off harshly, bobbing my head as quickly as I can and taking him as deep as possible, and when I start playing with his balls, it’s game over. I feel his dick twitch as he throws back his head and moans out, ‘fuck, y/n, you’re so good. Shit!’ He pushes my head down onto his cock as he reaches his high, hot thick spurts of his cum hitting the back of my throat as my lips stay around the base of his cock, and he gently rocks his hips back and forth until he’s finished. He slowly pulls out, breathing deeply, and looks down at me with a smirk. ‘Show me, baby,’ he says, and I open my mouth. He groans at the sight of me before saying, loudly enough for Jimin to hear, ‘swallow it, baby. Every last drop.’ I do so, opening my mouth again to show him, and grins, pleased.

He helps me get up from the floor, pressing another gentle kiss to my lips. ‘I need to go for a wee,’ I say after a few seconds, heading into his en suite, quickly weeing, washing my hands, cleaning my makeup off and splashing myself with water, and when I come back out, he’s dressed in just a pair of loose checked pyjama bottoms, torso and feet bare, and hair a fluffy mess. ‘Here,’ he says, holding out a t-shirt of his. ‘I don’t have any underwear for you, though, unless you wanna wear boxers? Sorry,’ he says, and I smile. ‘It’s alright. Scientifically, it’s better if you go bare at night anyway,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘That scientist deffo just made up fake research to get his wife to go bare in bed,’ he says, and I burst out laughing as I pull his t-shirt on, the material soft against my skin. He climbs into bed and I climb in beside him, the boy instantly pulling me into his arms. I reach for my phone, knowing Tae’s watching as send Mija a text to say I’m safe and going to sleep, before locking it and putting it back. ‘Goodnight, babe,’ he says, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. ‘Goodnight, Tae,’ I reply, falling asleep quicker than ever before.

I wake up to find myself wrapped up in his arms, head tucked beneath his chin, cosy and warm beneath his soft silk sheets (did I mention they’re silk? Sorry, but I’ve never slept in silk sheets before and I already know what my next online order is gonna be). Almost as though he feels me stirring, he wakes up too, pulling me closer to his chest as he yawns. ‘Morning, babe,’ he says sleepily, and I can feel the vibrations of his words against my back. ‘Morning, Tae,’ I reply, turning in his arms to face him, and he shoots me an adorable boxy smile. ‘Sleep well?’ he asks, and I nod, snuggling into his warm and cuddly body. ‘Up for round 2?’ he asks, smirking, and I sigh. ‘And that is my cue to get up and shower,’ I say, beginning to move out of the bed, but he pulls me back in, whining like a baby. ‘No, y/n, cuddle me. We’ll watch a film or something, and then you can shower,’ he says, and I’m tempted. So I agree.

I cuddle back into him and he chuckles under his breath, reaching for his laptop. We both sit up against the headboard, Tae pulling me between his legs so he can cuddle me whilst I find something for us to watch on Netflix, finally settling for The Duff. It’s not Tae’s type of film, but he doesn’t complain, content on playing with my hair and listening to me laugh in all the right places. It flies by, and it feels so comfortable to sit here with him, that I almost forget that it’s Tae. And not Jimin. ‘What are you thinking about?’ Tae asks, knocking me out of my thoughts. ‘Pardon?’ I ask, caught off guard. ‘The film ended a few minutes ago, and you haven’t turned off the next one so I’m assuming you were daydreaming,’ he says, and I laugh, feeling embarrassed. ‘Oh, no, I, um, yeah, I was daydreaming. I zoned out,’ I say, Tae chuckling. ‘Okay, y/n. Oh, before I forget, do you wanna be my date for this fancy end-of-year party that we’re doing? I know it sounds dumb, but it was Joon’s idea,’ he says, and I stifle a laugh. ‘I’ve already had two offers, but I’ll, um, I‘ll let you know,’ I say, and he snorts. ‘Who asked you already?’ he asks. ‘Namjoon and Jungkook,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Well, whatever. You don’t have to say yes to me, as long as you say yes to one of us. It’d be nice to have you there,’ he says, and I smile. ‘Thanks, Tae,’ I say. ‘Do you wanna go have your shower now? I’ll get you some clean clothes of mine out for afterwards,’ he says, and I turn to face him, kissing him gently on the cheek. ‘Thank you, you’re the best,’ I say, heading into his en suite. I strip off Tae’s t-shirt, put my hair up in a bun so as to not get it wet, and climb into the shower, turning on the water. I realise a couple seconds later that the shower gel isn’t in the shower, but on a shelf on the other side of his en suite. With a sigh, I climb out of the shower, leaving the water running, and then I hear Tae’s bedroom door slam.

‘What the fuck, Taehyung?’ I hear a familiar voice say angrily, and my blood runs cold. ‘What?’ Tae asks nonchalantly, and I supress a laugh. ‘What do you mean, what? You know exactly what I’m talking about, you fucking bastard. How could you sleep with her?’ Jimin demands, and Tae laughs. ‘Is she your ex?’ Tae asks, and Jimin’s silent. ‘Is she your ex, Jimin?’ Tae repeats, and Jimin sighs. ‘No, but you know it’s different with us,’ Jimin says, and Tae laughs. ‘If you don’t consider her your ex, if you don’t even have the decency to claim her as your ex, then I don’t see the issue. She’s just someone you used to have sex with, and you have no right to be angry about me having sex with her. End of,’ Taehyung says, and Jimin huffs. ‘No, Tae, it’s not end of. You know it’s different with me and y/n,’ Jimin repeats, and Taehyung laughs. ‘No, Jimin, I don’t know that, because you don’t tell me. You haven’t told me what’s different about the two of you. You won’t tell anyone, so how are we supposed to respect something we don’t know? As far as I see it, she liked you and you didn’t like her back, so you rejected her. That’s it. So why would you be angry about us sleeping together? If you had feelings for her, I’d understand, but you didn’t, because you would be dating her if you did. So explain it to me,’ Taehyung says, the other boy silent.

‘Just… I just wanna know one thing,’ Jimin says quietly, making me strain to hear him. ‘I can’t guarantee I’ll give you an answer,’ Taehyung replies, and I have so much respect for him in that moment. ‘Does she… does she still wear my ring? On her left hand, ring finger, is my ring still there?’ he asks, and Taehyung lets out a gentle pitying laugh, sounding sorry for Jimin. ‘I don’t know, Jimin, I didn’t pay attention to the jewellery she was wearing,’ Taehyung says as I look down at my left hand, pulling his ring off my finger. I turn the water off, both of them falling silent, and feign obliviousness. ‘Tae!’ I call. ‘Yeah, babe?’ he calls back, and I stifle a laugh at hearing a loud thumping noise, knowing Jimin’s definitely just whacked Tae. ‘Can you pass me my phone? I need to text Mija about something,’ I say, opening the door very slightly and sticking my left hand out, making sure Jimin can clearly see that his ring is not on my finger. He presses my phone into my hand, and I reply with a thanks before shutting the door. After a few seconds, I put my phone down and put the shower back on. ‘There’s your answer. She doesn’t wear your ring. Now is that it, or do you want me to ask her to give it back to you?’ Taehyung says. ‘Whatever,’ Jimin says, sounding tired, and then I hear the door open and close, signalling his departure. I carefully get back into the shower, the water running down over my face, and burst into tears, sobbing as though my heart would break.

‘y/n, there are people at the door for you!’ Mija calls, and I jump up from my bed, walking past Mija in the corridor. ‘Who?’ I ask. ‘Go find out,’ she replies over her shoulder. I roll my eyes as I step into the living room, seeing Namjoon, Yoongi and Jungkook stood at the door. ‘Um… hey?’ I say, heading towards them. ‘Hey, y/n. I asked Mija if you were busy, and she said no, so I thought it’d be nice if we came and did that Netflix binge watch night we planned,’ Namjoon says, and I grin at the heartfelt gesture. And then I spot a laptop under Namjoon’s arm. ‘What’s that for?’ I ask, and he looks down at it, looking back up at me with an almost sheepish expression. ‘Oh, I just brought it with me,’ he lies, Yoongi and Jungkook both looking as though they’re trying not to laugh, various bags and packets of junk food in their arms. ‘Don’t lie, Kim, what’s your ulterior motive?’ I demand, narrowing my eyes at him. ‘I… y/n, I need your help,’ he says desperately, stepping past me into our apartment. I exchange an amused look with the other two boys, and Yoongi rolls his eyes as Jungkook shakes his head. ‘With what?’ I ask, letting the other two in.

‘This party. I bit off more than I can chew. The venue need a deposit in the next two days because someone else wants to book it for that night, but the boys aren’t paying for their tickets; if they did, we’d be able to cover the entire cost, deposit and the actual payment. We’re only charging £15 a ticket but they’re all just being cheap. The uni’s contributing £200 to the venue but we’re not getting that for another two weeks, and that doesn’t even cover the deposit. Everyone’s bugging me about the theme, and I didn’t even think about having a theme in the first place. The boys are all telling me to scrap the whole date thing, but then it’ll get crashed and we won’t get our deposit back and we’ll have to pay for the repairs at the venue. My DJ cancelled because he’s in court, so now I’ve gotta find a new, cheap DJ. The venue need an exact number for catering because they won’t cater for us if it’s too late notice, but I don’t have an exact number yet because no one will confirm. And that’s just the start of it,’ he says, and I blink, trying to digest what he’s just said. Right,’ I sigh, ‘get that laptop loaded up, you two get Netflix on, and let me sort out this mess.’

I set myself up on the middle of the sofa, my laptop on my lap, Namjoon’s on his and Mija’s on hers (she decided to join us), Yoongi and Jungkook sprawled out across the floor, eating and watching Scream Queens. ‘Right, first, we need to get this deposit. How much is it? And how much is the actual venue?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘It’s £300 for the deposit, and £500 for the venue itself,’ he says, and I take a deep breath. ‘Okay. Us five, the other four, that’s 9 of us. If we each put £15 towards it, that leaves us with £165 to make. So we have to get enough people to pay that, or we resort to some sort of fundraising,’ I say, and Namjoon sighs. ‘There are 40 of us. Minus us seven boys, if we can get them all to pay their tickets, then we’ll cover it easy; we’ll make the full 800 for the deposit and the venue, and the uni funding can go towards a DJ and decorations,’ he says, getting his phone out. ‘Will they each pay that though?’ I ask, and he shrugs. ‘I’ll put it on the group chat, and see what we get back. I’ll pay for whatever we don’t get,’ he says, and Mija puts a hand out to stop him. ‘No. Let y/n send a voice note,’ she says, all four of us looking at her confusedly. ‘If y/n and Namjoon asked you for £15, which one of them would you be more likely to give it to?’ Mija asks. ‘y/n,’ Yoongi replies instantly, Jungkook hesitating but then nodding in agreement after a few seconds. ‘Wow, thanks. I’m so honoured you guys care about me,’ Namjoon says sarcastically, none of us paying attention to him. ‘If you say that you’re helping Namjoon with party planning because… I don’t know. Think of a sexy reason for it,’ she says, and I laugh. ‘What do you mean, sexy reason?’ I say. ‘You don’t need a sexy reason, the frat is pretty much whipped for you anyway, y/n,’ Yoongi says, and I frown. ‘I don’t even know the others,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Some of the first years were asking us why you haven’t been around recently. Trust me, the whole frat loves you. Except maybe Jimin hyung,’ Jungkook says, before his eyes widen, realising what he just said. ‘Sorry, noona, I didn’t mean it to come out like that,’ he says, and I wave him off, willing myself not to cry. ‘It’s fine, it’s fine. Just pass me your phone, Joon, let me send a voice note,’ I say, and he gets his phone out, getting up the ASP group chat and handing it to me.

I press down the button and begin talking; ‘Hey guys, it’s y/n here. Namjoon would have sent this voice note but he’s losing his voice so I’m not letting him speak. He’s over at mine and we’re just party planning and stuff, and the venue needs a deposit in the next two days. If we all pay for our tickets now, we’ll cover the deposit and the venue costs, and the uni funding comes through in two weeks so we can spend that on a DJ and decorations. It’d be really helpful if you and your dates can pay the £15 each for a ticket, otherwise this party won’t go ahead, and it’ll be a real shame if we can’t celebrate Namjoon’s last year as head of the frat. We’re gonna set up a new bank account or PayPal or something, and send the details in so you can transfer all the money into that one. Thanks, guys.’ I look up at the others after recording it. ‘How was that? Was it okay? Shall I send it?’ I say, and Namjoon nods. ‘It was perfect. Send it now, I’ll set up the PayPal,’ he says, beginning to tap away on his laptop. I send it, and await a response. Jungkook and Yoongi both reply saying they’ll pay the £30 for their tickets for themselves and their dates, to prompt the others to do so too. Tae replies next, saying he will too, followed shortly by Hoseok and Jin. Some of the other frat members start to reply as well, and I send the PayPal details in. We watch as the funds get bigger and bigger, and when we reach the deposit, we all (except for Yoongi) start jumping up and down in a circle, screaming in joy.

‘This probably isn’t the best time to ask, y/n, but I still don’t have a date to this thing, you interested in coming?’ Yoongi asks as we take our seats again. ‘Um, I’ve already been asked. By Namjoon. And Jungkook. And Taehyung,’ I say, all three boys raising their eyebrows. ‘Taehyung? Did he ask you in the club… or after the club?’ Namjoon asks interestedly, all three of them looking amused and interested. ‘Um, in the club,’ I lie, slightly embarrassedly. ‘Those clothes look familiar,’ Yoongi says, and I kick myself for not taking off Taehyung’s sweater earlier. ‘Anyway, I’ve been meaning to ask. Why don’t you ask Sana instead of me, Joon? I heard something was going on with you two,’ I ask, Namjoon instantly beginning to blush. ‘What? Who said that? Because it’s completely false. Anyway, we’ve got things to do,’ Namjoon stutters, and I stifle a laugh, Yoongi and Jungkook looking as though this is the first they’ve heard about Sana. Feeling for Namjoon, I change the subject, asking if anyone wants something to drink.

When I’ve come back with everyone’s drinks, I move on to my next task. I dial Chen’s number and wait ‘til he picks up. ‘Hey, y/n,’ he says. ‘Hey, bitch!’ I reply, and he laughs. ‘What’s up? You good? How was last night?’ he asks, and I try not to laugh. ‘I think I should be asking you that. But anyway, we’ll fill each other in another time, I’ve got an emergency,’ I say. ‘What’s happened? Shall I come ‘round? Are you and Mija okay? Shall I get Jackson?’ he asks, panicking. ‘Chen, no! We’re fine. Maybe emergency wasn’t the best word to use. But can you come ‘round actually? We could do with your help,’ I say. ‘What am I getting myself into?’ he asks, sighing. ‘Party planning!’ I exclaim. ‘I’m down. Ask Mija if she wants me to bring Jackson,’ he says, and I do so. ‘No, he’ll just wanna go have sex,’ she says, and I stifle a laugh at the boys’ faces, surprised at hearing of Mija and Jackson because no one knows that they’re kinda dating. ‘She said no, he’ll just want to have sex. Bring yourself and food, bitch,’ I say. ‘How about pizza? Or Chinese?’ he asks. ‘Oh, my God, how can I choose? Surprise me, you know what I like,’ I say. ‘Alright, I’ll be there in like half an hour,’ he says, the line cutting off after that.

‘Right, Chen’s coming. He’ll help us sort the DJ. What else do we need to do?’ I ask Namjoon. ‘A theme,’ he says, and I exchange a look with Mija. ‘Are you doing suits and evening dresses and shit?’ she asks Namjoon, who nods. ‘Masquerade,’ Mija and I say at the exact same time. ‘Masquerade?’ Joon asks. ‘Classy, sexy, mysterious and fun all in one,’ Mija says. ‘What kind of decorations would we have though?’ Namjoon asks, sounding sceptical. ‘We could just do a colour theme. Something classy like… rose gold and white! We could get a flower wall, a balloon arch, centrepieces. We could do a sweet bar, a chocolate fountain, a photobooth, a-’ ‘y/n! We only have £200 to spend on all this stuff. There’s no way we can afford all that. Stop getting so carried away,’ he says, and I grin. ‘Is that a challenge, Joon? Because I will make it my life’s mission to get all of those things. I’ll get them or I’ll die trying,’ I say, Namjoon raising an eyebrow. ‘That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?’ Yoongi asks. ‘No, I like the energy, noona! I’ll help,’ Jungkook says, mouth full of chocolates. ‘You’re all gonna help. We’re gonna make this party the best ever. What are the others doing right now? Jin, Hoseok and Taehyung?’ I ask, purposely leaving Jimin out, and none of them point it out. ‘Nothing, I don’t think. Why?’ Namjoon asks. ‘Get them here now,’ I say, exchanging an excited glance with Mija, ‘we’re about to throw a party-planning party. Mija, call Chen and ask him to get enough food for nine.’

‘What the fuck?’ Tae asks as he steps into our apartment. Jin and Chen are sat at our tiny dining table, both of them on the phone getting quotes from various decorations companies for balloons, centrepieces and flower walls. Namjoon is sprawled out on the floor, on the phone to the venue and discussing different menus. Yoongi’s sat in the armchair, Mija sat on the arm of it and leaning on him as they both look at Namjoon’s laptop, trying to write up a seating plan so we can order or make place holders/keepsakes, having planned for each table to have a different designed item. Jungkook is beside me on the sofa, phoning up the frat members one by one to confirm their attendance, ask who their date is or urging them to find one, and getting those of them that haven’t sent the money for the tickets to do so. I’m making various spreadsheets and charts, writing up the different menus Namjoon repeats out loud to me, the quotes that Chen and Jin are getting, the dates that the boys have, the ones that have paid and the ones that haven’t as Jungkook lets me know after each phone call, contributing to Mija and Yoongi’s seating plan by letting them know who doesn’t like who. ‘Yeah, it’s a bit hectic,’ I say as he shuts the door behind him. I turn back to my laptop and type up the numbers that Chen reads out to me, and a few seconds later, I feel Tae’s hands on my shoulders.

He didn’t tell me anything about his conversation with Jimin after I came out of the shower, just acting as though nothing had happened, the whole time I got changed and when he drove me back to mine and Mija’s accommodation too. Mija eyes us, an amused grin on her face; I told her about what I’d overheard, and she said that she appreciates Tae speaking to Jimin the way he did. I’d also told her about the details of mine and Tae’s night together, trying to spot any signs of jealousy, but there was nothing; she truly has no feelings for Taehyung. Which is totally fine, of course, because she doesn’t need a man, and she’s happy with Jackson anyway. ‘Hoseok hyung couldn’t make it, but what can I do to help?’ he asks, leaning down and burying his head into my neck, some of the others watching us interestedly. ‘Um, Chen knows a guy who does DJing, but can you set up a playlist for him to use please?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘Of course,’ he replies, sitting down on the other side of me and getting his laptop out of his bag.

Slowly but surely, we manage to tick things off one by one. Chen strikes gold and finds a decoration company that’s about to shut down and are selling all of their stock at a fraction of the original prices, and so he makes arrangements with the owners for us to go and pick up what we need in two weeks’ time, on a Sunday. The shop is a two hour drive away, but we decide it’s better to go there than spend five times the money at a closer shop. In total, the decorations we’re looking for come to £50, and I could kiss Chen for finding such a fantastic shop. Jungkook gets all of the boys to confirm and pay for their tickets, and all of them promise to find their dates asap. We collectively decide on the least posh menu and Namjoon promises the venue that he’ll get back to them on how many of each dish they’ll need to prepare. Yoongi and Mija sort out a sufficient seating plan, putting the seven boys and their dates on the same table, meaning if I go, I’ll be sat on a table with Jimin and his date, mostly Jeongyeon, a thought that makes me feel sick to my stomach. We all contribute to the playlist, Tae noting down the songs that we all shout out every couple minutes or so.

‘Right, and we’re done,’ I sigh, falling back against the sofa after a few hours of solid work. ‘What have we got left to do?’ Jin asks. ‘We’ve gotta find a company that sells or rents out chocolate fountains for cheap, either hire a sweet bar or do one ourselves, depending on which one is cheaper, pick up the decorations, write up some kind of online invitation with the date, time, venue, theme everything, and send it out to the boys and their dates with plenty of notice so they can get their outfits. I think that’s it,’ I list off, Namjoon making notes on his phone. ‘y/n, you’re a godsend. Thank you so much for your help, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you,’ Namjoon says, and I grin at him. ‘I gotchu, Joonie. Now, can you guys leave because I got an early lecture to go to in the morning?’ I say, the others laughing as they all begin rising up from their seats. I watch with interest as Jin and Chen exchange social medias, and Tae and Mija laugh about something together. The boys all bid me goodbye one by one, Jin and Tae hanging back. ‘y/n, I don’t have a date to this thing yet, are you planning on coming? Because I want you to be my date?’ Jin says, and I take a moment, looking up at the ceiling. ‘She’s already had four offers, buddy, you’re too late. Namjoon, JK, Tae and Yoongi all beat you to it,’ Mija says, and Jin’s mouth falls open. ‘Seriously? Fuck, I don’t know who I’m supposed to take,’ Jin sighs, and I laugh. ‘I’ll keep your offer in mind, Jin, thank you for asking,’ I say, and he nods. ‘It’s alright, y/n, just make sure you say yes to one of us,’ he says, and I nod, waving as he leaves, Tae still hanging around.

‘You okay, Tae?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I, um… there’s something I need to tell you, y/n,’ he says, making me panic. ‘Um, okay,’ I say, not sure what else to say, and Mija disappears into the kitchen, obviously not wanting to intrude. ‘I don’t know much about what happened between you and Jimin, but what I do know is that you have a right to be aware on what’s going on in his life at the moment. So I thought I should tell you that Jeongyeon came over earlier, a little while after I dropped you off back here. I don’t know if he called her over hoping you’d see her, like as revenge, or because they’re together or something, but I thought you should know,’ Taehyung says, slowly and hesitantly, and I don’t feel shock or hurt. I’m just numb. ‘Thank you for telling me, Tae,’ I say. ‘Are you not, um… surprised?’ he asks, and I shake my head with a sad smile. ‘He slept with her Tae. That’s why I cut him off. He slept with her that night he took me out and that party happened out of nowhere. Whilst I was tidying and throwing up, he was upstairs in his room with her, knowing full well I could’ve walked in at any second. So, no, Tae, I’m not surprised,’ I say, and Tae’s mouth falls open. ‘Does… does he know you know?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I found out the next morning. I slept in Joon’s room for the night, and saw her coming out of his room in his clothes when I was hiding in the bathroom. When I confronted him on the football pitch, he confessed, and I told him I already knew,’ I say, and Tae sits down beside me, taking my hands into his. ‘y/n, I’m so sorry. He’s scum,’ Tae says, and I don’t have the energy to partake in the Jimin slander. ‘Just promise me you won’t tell him you know. And please try to act normal with him. I don’t want to ruin anything,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘Of course, of course. I won’t breathe a word, and I’ll try my best not to throttle him next time I see him. I should head back actually, but I’ll see you later, y/n. I’ll text you soon, and we’ll go for coffee or something,’ Tae says, and I nod. We bid each other goodbye, and he leaves, Mija walking in seconds later. ‘God, I really hate Jimin sometimes,’ she says, sitting down beside me and pulling me into her arms, and I sigh, resting my head on her shoulder. ‘So do I, Mija,’ I reply tiredly, ‘so do I.’

[lwjstiletto]

wangxian au where lwj is a popular hand model and wwx is an independent jewellery maker [Part 3]

[Part 1] [Part 2]

wwx shuts himself in his workshop for a month straight, with lwj being his only visitor. everything he makes looks beautiful on lwj but it’s somehow not enough, not quite /deserving/ of lwj yet.

when he tells lwj this, he only gets a slight downturn of his lips in return.

“you have fine craftsmanship.” lwj says, turning his hand so that the lights bounce off the crystal encrusted hand chain. “i have never seen anything like it before.”

wwx watches him in stunned silence. lwj tends to drop these really sincere, heartfelt compliments that both embarass him and motivate him to show lwj he can do even better. another reason for his stunned silence is how ethereal lwj looks in jewellery

wwx wants to cover him in it. a nice jade pendant that hangs just above his bellybutton; a hairpiece that weaves flowers between the silky black strands of his hair; a thick banded crystal choker that sits around his throat just so; an anklet with teardrop pearls perhaps

but for now, he has to work up to making the hand jewellery suitable. the rest can wait

—•—

the next time lwj visits, he looks like he’s one blink away from sleeping where he stands.

“lan zhan,” wwx says, because they have somehow progressed to calling each other by their infromal names, “are you okay?”

“mn.” lwj says, then almost collapses mid-blink. in true rom-com fashion, wwx catches him with one hand around his waist and the other on his arm. he would tease lwj about it but this isn’t the time.

“i’m sorry.” lwj tries to straighten up.

“come on, you need to sleep.” wwx says, using his hold on lwj’s waist to guide him towards his bedroom.

“no sleep.” lwj says, planting his feet into the ground much like jin ling does when he wants to be stubborn.

“lan zhan,” wwx cajoles with his practiced baby voice, “come on. you’re tired. just nap for one hour.”

lwj glares at him, “sleep later, work now.”

wwx bends down and puts a hand under lwj’s knees, scooping him up before he can react.

lwj’s sleepy eyes widen, “wei ying!”

“if you’re gonna act like a child,” wwx says walking towards the bedroom, “then expect me to treat you like one.”

internally, wwx is panicking. he is definitely crossing some boundaries here. however, wwx considers lwj a friend and his friend looks like he hasn’t slept for a week. sometimes extreme measures are necessary, jc has taught him that.

lwj twitches in his arms when he reaches his bedroom door.

“you can put me down now.” he says, his voice weak.

wwx ignores him and kicks his door open, gently placing lwj on the bed once he reaches it.

“go to sleep.” he says, pulling the duvet over him, “if you dare come out before the hour is up, i can and will carry you back.”

lwj looks like he wants to protest but he seems to lose the fight with exhaustion and drifts off the sleep before wwx’s eyes. wwx quickly exits the bedroom and closes the door behind himself. lwj. is. in. his. bed. sleeping... he’s sleeping. because he’s tired. and wwx’s friend.

“jiang cheng, lan zhan is in my bed.” he says into his phone once he has shut himself in his workshop.

“xichen’s brother? why? did you kidnap him? tell me you didn’t wei wuxian. xichen will kill you.” jc says.

“ok first of all, he’s here for work.” wwx realises that between working and sleeping he has forgotten to inform anyone about this. “and he was tired. he looked so sleepy and cute, what could i do?”

“you... was he at least... coherent? it was consensual right?” jc asks

“what?!” wwx screeches, standing up in indignation. “jiang cheng oh my god. we- he’s TAKING A NAP!”

“oh thank god.” jc sighs, “wait how do you know lan wangji?”

“ah,” wwx scratches his nose, “long story short, remember that pretty guy from uni? yeah lan zhan and him, same guy.”

“you-“ jc sighs deeply, “i’ve been hearing you wax poetic about lan wangji’s hands?! how will i ever look xichen in the eyes after knowing that you probably- eugh i hate you.”

“ok first of all, it’s not a fetish-“

jc hangs up on him.

this leaves wwx with too much free time to think and that’s never a good thing. so he starts looking around for something to do. this is how his eyes fall on lwj’s gloves lying on the table beside the door. lwj has developed a habit of discarding them as soon as he comes in

and like a magnet, wwx feels drawn to them. it must be annoying for lwj to wear them all the time, but he never complains. wwx, however, has no such qualms and detests them with vigor

today, it’s the white leather gloves. wwx picks one up and examines it. it’s soft to the touch, worn out to smoothness. an idea strikes him and he tosses the glove back as he reaches for his sketchbook. he thinks he has finally got it.

—•—

when lwj wakes, there is light coming through the curtains. he doesn’t remember the last time he had such a comfortable, dreamless sleep. an unfamiliar but pleasant scent surrounds him, safe, warm.

lwj bolts up in bed, remembering exactly where he is. he looks at his phone. it’s six, ok that’s fine. wait... 6AM. lwj throws the covers off and looks around, then back at his phone as if that’s going to change something.

he spent the night at wwx’s place. speaking of, where did wwx sleep then? he ventures outside and sees nobody in the living area. sure enough, wwx is passed out in his workshop, cheek flat on his workbench.

lwj sighs.

“wei ying.” he prods his shoulder gently, “wake up.”

wwx groans and shakes him off, “go away.”

after a few more pokes lwj rules it a lost cause and decides to make tea for himself and coffee for wwx. thankfully, he doesn’t have work until 3pm so he has plenty of time to waste puttering around wwx’s sparce kitchen.

after finding only hot sauce in the top cupboards (one labelled ‘burning hot’ with flames on the cover which makes him cringe away) he finally finds coffee. no tea. it’ll have to do, he thinks.

the smell of coffee near his nose does a better job at waking wwx up. he reaches blindly for the cup before he even blinks his eyes open. ridiculous.

lwj, in the most dignified way possible, sits on the purple beanbag and waits as wwx’s brain reboots with every sip of coffee.

“lan zhan?” wwx asks.

“i have the same question.” lwj says, “why am i still here?”

“too philosophical for this early in the morning. what time even is it?” wwx looks at the wall clock and groans, “why are you awake?”

lwj gives him a blank look, “i was promised a nap.”

“yeah, yeah.” wwx brushes him off, “i’m happy you slept well, you look much better than before.”

lwj feels his ears burn and his heart rate quicken.

wwx has an ease to his words and actions that makes lwj agreeable to existing in his space without wanting to revert back to professionalism. he fears that one day he’ll become so comfortable that he wouldn’t want to leave

“come here.” wwx beacons.

once lwj is bent over his shoulder, he shows him the rough sketches he has been working on all night apparently.

“are those..”

“inspired by the bane of my existence, none other than your gloves!” wwx says proudly.

“why do you hate the gloves?” lwj asks, curious.

wwx gives him a complicated look, “because they’re fabric. how old and boring. wouldn’t you rather be tangled in crystal chains that you can’t wear or remove without help?”

lwj lets him dodge the question, then gives the designs a closer look. “they’re very interesting.”

“it’s just a rough sketch.” wwx refuses to look at him, “i’ll refine the details and start working on it by tomorrow.”

“mn.” lwj says.

—•—

“da-ge tried to beat up su she again.” nhs informs him when he gets to his office a few hours later.

“again?” lwj asks.

“he bumped into him at the lobby. again.” nhs sighs.

“i will speak to him.” lwj says.

“what? no these stalkers just get worse-“

“i meant nie mingjue.” lwj clarifies.

“it should be fine. i’ve banned him from office premises now and i’m working on filing a restraining order against him.” nhs says, “i tried to explain this to da-ge but you know his temper. actually maybe you should talk to him. he might listen to you.”

lwj nods, “i will call him after my shoot.”

—•—

nhs must have mentioned it to nmj because he’s there to pick lwj up after his shoot. it’s late, almost past eleven, and the parking lot is half empty.

lwj gets a text from wwx just before he gets in the car.

wei ying: garnet or emerald?

lwj replies: i’m no expert at this

wei ying: lan zhannnn humour me

lwj: ruby

wei ying: i will fossilise you in one. lan zhannnn be serious

“you look much more at ease.” nmj comments.

lwj realises that he is.

“you don’t need to bother with su she anymore. huaisang has it under control.” lwj says.

nmj gives him a skeptical look.

“i trust him.” lwj emphasises.

“i was told you had previous acquaintance with that man.” nmj says.

lwj sighs, “he was in my cello class.”

“you play the cello?” nmj asks.

“not anymore.” lwj answers.

nmj doesn’t ask further.

they sit in uncomfortable silence until nmj asks where he should drop lwj off. what comes out of his mouth are the directions to wwx’s place. his excuse: he needs to know what a garnet gem is before making a decision.

“i will trust you and huaisang to handle this.” nmj says when they come to a stop, “be well.”

lwj nods, then opens the car door.

“wangji.” nmj’s hand grabs his elbow gently.

lwj turns to him.

“i’d like for us to be friends.” nmj says. it sounds stilted, amended.

lwj frowns, “i already consider you one.”

nmj nods and lets go of his hand. with the hint of a smile he says, “goodnight wangji.”

lwj looks at nmj drive away then turns to face wwx’s apartment building. now that he’s here, his excuse sounds feeble. he takes a deep breath, he’s already here. might as well.

wwx opens his apartment door and stares at lwj like he has seen a ghost. “lan zhan?”

“i don’t know what garnet looks like.” lwj says.

wwx grins at him, then grabs his forearm, dragging him into his workshop. there, on a mannequin hand, is the half finished skeleton of what looks like wwx’s design coming to life. he holds up a red and a green stone. he points to the red one, “this is a garnet.”

“it looks like a ruby.” lwj says

wwx looks like he goes through the seven stages of grief before he says, in a strangled voice, “how could you? you’re– you’re messing with me again, aren’t you?”

lwj gives him an innocent look. he can feel the tension in his shoulders bleed out.

“it’s coming together.” wwx says when he notices lwj looking at his unfinished project. “come here, let me see if you can have mobility with it on.”

lwj removes his gloves and stretches his hand towards wwx. wwx gently manoeuvring delicate silver chains around his hand isn’t something new, but it feels different in the middle of the night. more intimate. lwj discards that word with a flick of his hair

it’s not usual for him to leave it unpinned, but he has spent the day lying on a carpet with his hands stretched upwards, balancing a small perfume bottle between his fingers. coming out of it with a few strands out of place is a minor inconvenience.

“tada!” wwx says, drawing lwj’s attention to his right hand which is now tangled in a complicated-looking array of chains from the tips of his fingers down to his wrist. it’s stunning even in its incomplete form.

“it’s beautiful.” lwj says, low as the silent night.

“it’s barely anything right now!” wwx protests but his cheeks are red, “come on, try to move your fingers.”

lwj does, slowly as to not break the delicate structure in case it does lack mobility. it moves with him, like still water disturbed, pressing coldness onto his skin when he closes his fist.

there is no bite, in fact it barely feels any different from wearing light cotton gloves. he thinks he understands wwx’s vision better now. he opens his fist again, one finger at a time, watching how the chains loosen and hang lower on his wrist.

he’s so fascinated by it that he’s surprised to see wwx standing in front of him when he looks up. his eyes are fixed on lwj, unwavering and shameless in their focus, dark with what lwj would presume was desire if he didn’t know better.

“ah it doesn’t need adjustments for now then!” wwx says, snapping out of it. “it looks great on you! i’m sure your girlfriend will like it when it’s finished too!”

“i’m gay.” lwj deadpans.

“oh.” wwx says, choked. “your... boyfriend then?”

“wei ying i...” think of you as a safe haven in my hectic life? find your rambling amusing? think you’re extremely talented and deserve success? have a teeny tiny crush on you? what is lwj supposed to say? each of those sound worse than the one before

at the end he decides to settle for the worst possible answer, “i don’t have time for a boyfriend.”

he does! well, not really. but he would make time if it was wwx... or something! sometimes lwj wants to punch a wall, break a finger, quit his job as a consequence and live in a secluded mountain in the east for the rest of his days. this is one of those moments.

wwx nods in understanding. lwj would prefer if he /didn’t/ understand and demanded to be lwj’s boyfriend to prove him wrong. ‘i’ll make you have time for a boyfriend’ is what lwj imagines him saying.

instead wwx offers him tea.

“it’s too late for coffee.” he shrugs when lwj mumbles a surprised ‘tea?’

before lwj can ask why he suddenly has tea in his house when he didn’t just yesterday, wwx is already gone.

they sit around wwx’s small breakfast table. as they sip their tea- high quality tea nonetheless- wwx begins to talk.

“this project is going more smoothly than i expected. i already have a couple designs in my mind. i’d say it’d take maybe a month or so if i substitue my sleep enough with coffee.” wwx says.

“do not strain yourself.” lwj replies.

“rich coming from you.” wwx’s lip quirks, “you passed out on me yesterday. oh what could have caused that? i don’t think it was sleep deprivation and overworking because you’d never do that.”

it feels like lwj is being scolded.

“wei ying-“

“lan zhan, are you alright?” wwx asks sincerely, “i know you said that you weren’t hurt back then when i saw your bruises, but we weren’t friends back then. you were in pain when i met you at wen ning’s parlour. -

- wen qing was oddly iffy about telling jiang cheng about you even though she knows that he’s friends with your brother. you looked so afraid when you thought i was stalking you, which, technically my fault but still. i’m sorry for bringing this up but i’m worried about you. i want to help you, with whatever it is.”

lwj sits in silence for a few moments, flabbergasted. it seems like this is genuinely bothering wwx, and maybe it has for a while now.

“wei ying.” lwj starts, trying to mentally arrange it all in chronological order. “i think there has been a slight misunderstanding. i did not persue conventional modelling because i did not want to be in the public eye.

however, my identity was exposed about a month ago. it made me unnecessarily paranoid which is why wen qing was careful about my information, and i was in turn careful about my surroundings.”

“who the hell-“

“it does not matter now.” lwj says calmingly. he doesn’t need another person trying to beat su she up.

wwx fumes silently as lwj continues.

“at wen ning’s parlour i was actually in quite a bit of pain.” lwj says. wwx opens his mouth but lwj cuts him off. “yes, it was due to overwork, and yesterday can be attributed to the same cause. but it does not happen as often as you’re thinking, i promise.”

wwx mulls this over. “ok fine. don’t think i didn’t notice you skipped over the bruises though. they can’t be from overwork so either someone did that to you or-“

“it is..” lwj says, forcing the words out, “as you thought that day.”

he wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but he doesn’t want wwx to have any misconceptions. and well, if he sacrifices his own peace of mind for wwx, it is most likely worth it in the end.

“you mean...” wwx swallows, “you–“

seeing him struggle so much with the words makes it easier for lwj to blurt them out somehow.

“i like restraints, yes.”

this does not bring an end to the conversation, instead making wwx stutter through even worse versions of it.

“you like– to be tied up– oh my god.” he says, “you- that’s what you meant right? handcuffs, ropes all that- like bdsm? is that what–“

“wei ying. please.” lwj says.

“oh of course. here.” wwx grabs both his wrists with one hand.

lwj stares at him. wwx stares back. what the hell.

...

“oh,” wwx draws back like has been burned, “oh my god i don’t know why i did that. i’m so sorry!”

“wei ying it’s okay.” lwj tries but wwx has now put his face in his hands and does not seem to hear him above his mumbling variations of ‘oh my god’ and ‘i’m so sorry’.

lwj lets him go on for a while before he can’t take it anymore. he puts a gentle hand on wwx’s shoulder. this seems to have the desired effect, both shutting wwx up and making him look up at lwj.

“wei ying, it’s okay.” he repeats.

“no it’s not! what was i even thinking? it’s not okay for me to do that! out of nowhere! god, i must have made you so uncomfortable–“

“i don’t mind.” lwj says.

“how can you not? you should fire me!”

“you are my employer.”

“that’s even worse!”

lwj sighs. wwx seems to be transforming into a puddle of shame right before him. he has to put an end to this or wwx will overthink himself into an early grave. no amount of consoling seems to work though. lwj sighs, it is time for drastic measures.

“i lied.” lwj says. he quickly continues before wwx can officially begin his pity party, “i do have time for a boyfriend.”

“what.” wwx says, drawn out of his stupor with the sudden shift in topic.

“i have time... if it’s you.” lwj says and then immediately wants to adapt wwx’s head in hands coping mechanism. “now we are even.”

wwx seems to be dissecting his sentence to make sense of it. “oh. OH.”

“i should go home.” lwj rises from his chair. just as he is turning away, wwx grabs his wrist and pulls him so he’s face-to-face with him.

“lan zhan,” wwx says, his eyes fond, “you’re so.. ugh!”

lwj frowns. ugh. he’s ugh.

“lan zhan!” wwx takes lwj’s face between his palms and grins at him, “do you know i’ve been crushing on you since that day at the university?”

“you have?” lwj asks.

“you really didn’t know?” wwx asks, “lan zhan, lan zhan, do you think a professional jeweller needs weekly fitting appointments?”

“you don’t?” lwj feels just a little stupid.

“not really? i could have made adjustments after i finished everything.”

“you like me?” lwj asks. for some reason it hadn’t occurred to him that his crush could be reciprocated.

“yes!” wwx shifts from one foot to another eagerly, “can i hug you now?”

lwj nods and is drawn into wwx’s arms. wwx presses his nose into the space between lwj’s neck and shoulder. lwj holds his shoulders, glad that he can hide his red face in wwx’s hoodie

wwx sighs, his breath tickles on lwj’s skin.

“will you stay with me tonight?” and when lwj is silent for two seconds,

“not like that! it’s innocent! like a sleepover! i won’t tie you up i promise– lan zhan please shut me up i beg you–“

lwj draws back, simply places a gentle kiss on wwx’s lips and says, “don’t ever shut up.”

The End!

as for any loose ends:

- lwj manages to gain his anonymity back

- su she manages not to get beaten up by wwx or nmj but does get a restraining order

- wwx completes his collection and it’s a success! the best part is that he is holding the hand that started it all!

This fic has a nsfw one-shot on ao3 if any of you want to read it :)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/25827673

[mischiefandspirits]

Parental Bonding: Courtship

S01-E02, part 1 of 2: Danny figures out a new power, gets a date, and lands himself in trouble. Not in that order.

Last time on Living Phantom ~ Next time on Living Phantom

Warning: Implied/Referenced Sibling Abuse (Not onscreen, skip to the bottom for a full description)

Danny came down the stairs, ready to send the annoying Box Ghost back where he came from then spend the next few hours trying to block out what happened at lunch with some mindless video game violence. He paused when he spotted his dad sitting in front of the portal with a fishing rod in hand. He was wearing his fishing vest and had a soda guzzler attached to his fishing hat, sucking at the straw as he watched the swirling green mists.

The half-ghost frowned and tossed his backpack off to the side. “Hey, Dad. What are you doing?”

“Danny, keep it down. You'll scare away the ghosts,” he whispered. He pointed at the rod and Danny realized the line was glowing. “It's the Fenton Ghost Fisher. I'm fishing for ghosts. Check out this line. Coated with a special high-tensile ectoplasmic resin that ghosts can't break.” He focused back on the portal. “Quiet now. Don't wanna spook 'em.”

Danny nodded and turned to leave. He’d have to get rid of Boxy later.

“Whoa! That soda goes right through you like Sherman through Georgia.” His dad suddenly grabbed his shoulder and shoved the rod into his hands. “Here! Hang on to this. I'll be right back after I use the Fenton Urinal.”

Did not need to know that, Danny sighed. Well, at least now he could -

The line started pulling and he scrambled for the reel. The line went taut, then slack.

“Oh no,” he muttered, his breath misting in front of him.

A large claw emerged from the portal, then another. They hooked around the edge as a reptilian snout poked through. It seemed to squeeze through the too-small space as it lengthened and grew into the head of a dragon, electric blue with neon green ear fins and curled horns. It kept coming. First, a barrel chest and wings that didn’t look big enough to carry its weight -- though Danny was pretty sure a ghost dragon didn’t actually need wings to fly -- then forelegs, hind legs, and finally a whip-like tail.

It’s red eyes glared down at him, the end of the fisher caught in its mouth.

Danny flinched back, then his eyes caught on a glimpse of green in the corner of his eye. He looked down and frowned when he realized the dragon’s scales were littered with glowing soot and quite a few claw marks cut into its flesh, dripping ectoplasm that fizzled into nothing before it hit the floor.

“Woah, what attacked you?”

The dragon roared and Danny scrambled back. “I want to go!” it growled, grabbing him in its foreclaw. “I have to go!”

“You'll have to stand in line behind my dad,” Danny joked, then immediately wondered if ghosts could use the bathroom.

Did full ghosts need to eat? Would they eat normal food or ectoplasmic stuff? Would ghost food be closer to his parents' cooking? Did ghosts accidentally bring their  food to life?

No, focus, Danny! “In the meantime…”

He let his transformation wash over him, then let go of his density, becoming a cloud of ectoplasm that slipped through its grip. It tried to claw at him and he dodged around the hits, then pulled back when it started to breathe fire. He arced around the spray then landed a hit to its neck, right on the golden band of the necklace it wore.

It gave a pained roar as it flew back and hit the wall.

Danny flew closer, ready to shove it back into the portal, but it suddenly began to shimmer. It shrunk until it took the form of a young woman. She looked to be in much better health than her dragon form, though there was a darker patch on her green cheek that might have been a burn. The ghost looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “All I wanted was to go to the Princess Costume Ball. And my brother won't let me!”

She started crying and flew into the portal.

Frowning, Danny dropped to the ground and grabbed the fisher. “I hope her brother wasn’t the one that did that to her.”

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Danny quickly changed back.

His dad came down, new soda cans in hand. “Catch anything?”

“Nope,” he lied and passed his dad the fisher. “I’m going to drop my backpack off in my room then I’m meeting Tucker online for a boss battle.”

“Homework?”

“None today.”

“Alright. Don’t forget, it’s your night for dinner. Jazz has that Debate meeting and your mom won’t be back until Friday.”

“I know. Pizza’s in the oven and timer’s set.”

“Good boy.”

~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~0~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks to you, I now know the quickest way to a woman's heart: clean boxers,” Tucker joked as he shut his locker.

Danny glared at him then dropped his head. “Man, are you ever going to let that go. I get it, I blew it yesterday.”

Danny sent Sam a scared look, then walked up to the tree Paulina Sanchez was sitting in front of. He tried to lean against the tree and give his crush a smile like the guys on Tucker’s teen dramas, but his hand turned intangible and he ended up falling to the ground.

“Please! Don't say you've suddenly fallen for me,” the popular girl said in a bored voice, not even looking at him. “That line is so last semester.”

Danny blushed and stood up. “Yeah! I-I mean, no! Th-that's not it. I, uh, I was wondering…”

Suddenly his legs felt cold and the people around them started laughing. His blush grew as he looked down to realize his jeans had fallen to the ground. He scrambled to pick them up as Paulina finally looked at him, only to giggle into her hand.

At least it was boxer day, the last thing he needed was to accidentally be outed by his stupid powers on top of everything else.

“A gentleman usually tips his hat, but I'll give you points for originality,” Paulina said.

Suddenly Sam was at his side, her hand on his arm. “Kudos, Danny. You just set an all-time speed record for drowning in the shallow end of the gene pool.”

Paulina stared at her for a moment, then scowled. “Oh, no! You did not just call me shallow, did you?”

“If you mean do I think I can stand in a puddle full of you and not get my feet wet, then yeah.”

“Shallow? I am not shallow!”

Sam tugged him away from the girl, muttering, “As shallow as a drop of water. Ignore her, Danny. You can do so much better.”

Danny glanced over his shoulder to see the popular glaring at them.

“Paulina probably won't even look at me now.”

“Yoo-hoo, Danny!” Danny turned to see the girl they were discussing walking towards them, a flirty smile on her face.

“Or not! Hey, Tuck?”

“I get it. I'm out. Good luck.” He gave Danny a pat on the back then he was gone.

“Hi, you,” she giggled. “I just wanted to -”

Danny’s world went dark and cramped as he was suddenly shoved into his locker, which closed behind him.

“That’s for throwing your lunch on me last week, runt.”

“It was your lunch and it was an accident,” Danny growled.

“Oh hey, Paulina. Just the girl I was looking for.”

Danny glared at the wall of his locker then turned invisible and intangible. He leaned out of the locker to see Dash smirking down at Paulina, who didn’t look impressed.

“So I was thinking… I’m the top man. All-star quarterback and school hero.”

Danny reached towards the larger boy, ready to pull some ghostly prank, only for his hands to sink through Dash. His eyes widened as he felt his powers draw him in.

“You’re the prettiest girl in school.”

He felt himself shrink infinitesimally small, then expand like a balloon to fit a space that wasn’t quite right.

“It would only make sense if we -”

Danny blinked as he found himself in front of Paulina. He looked down at himself to see he was wearing a letterman's jacket and his arms were bulging with muscles. His eyes widened as he realized he was in Dash’s body.

Wow, a whole new kind of dysphoria.

Thanks, I hate it.

“Hello?” Paulina said, waving her hand in front of his face.

“Oh! Right! Of course!”

Paulina raised an eyebrow.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m not going to be at the Spring Formal because I’ve got to scrub my mom’s feet that night. I usually do it every night, but she’s going to need some extra time that night. She’s got these massive bunions, you know. Want to see?”

“Eew! Get lost, loser!”

Danny turned and took a few steps, then pulled back his power. Thankfully he dropped out of Dash as he’d hoped and he was able to slip back into his locker just before Paulina opened it to let him out.

“Why do I suddenly feel like scrubbing my mom's feet?” he heard Dash mutter as Danny smiled at the girl.

He tried to step out of his locker, only to fall on his face.

He waited for Paulina to start laughing at him, but instead, she knelt next to him and winked.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Her eyes widened and she grabbed something that was hanging out of his backpack. “Oh my gosh! What's that?”

Danny sat up and saw she was holding a necklace. It was gold with a short, almost choker-length band and held a smooth green gem that had a dark band down the center. It looked vaguely familiar, but Danny couldn’t place it. “That? Oh! Uh, it's a, uh…” He looked up at her face to see her staring at the necklace, entranced. “You like it?”

“It's beautiful!”

“Hey, that's great!” As they stood up, Danny had a very bad idea. “Because I, uh, got it for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I-I-In case I got the nerve to ask you to the Spring Formal and you said yes, I thought I'd want to give you something and that's what it would have been. It's for you.”

Danny felt his powers activate and grabbed his pants before they could slip down more than an inch.

“Whether you go with me or not.”

Paulina eyed him with a teasing smile. “Well, you are kind of cute, and you have great taste in underwear. I'd love to go with you.”

She turned away, slipping on the necklace.

He gave a happy sigh, then frowned. “What am I doing? That thing doesn't belong to me. It could be my mom's, or Jazz's.”

“Bye, Danny. See you!”

“Or I could worry about that later. Because she said yes! Woohoo!” He threw his hands up, remembering his pants a second too late.

“Pantless again, Mr. Fenton?” Mr. Lancer asked, walking up behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~0~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

“Catch anything, Dad?” Danny asked as he shuffled up behind where his dad was once more in his fishing chair, Fenton Ghost Fisher in hand.

“Son, I couldn't catch a cold. I've been sitting here all day without a single bite.”

Danny hummed and looked down at the slip Lancer had given him. Apparently having your pants accidentally fall down twice was an offense worthy of having your parents called in so now his dad needed to meet with Mr. Lancer in an hour. Well, at least there was only one parent home to get mad.

He took a deep and held up the slip. “Da-”

“I'm so frustrated I want to take out my rage on the first person who gives me bad news.” His dad adjusted his line with a growl. “Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?”

Danny flinched. “Well, sort of. Mr. Lancer -”

His dad stiffened. “Mr. Lancer what? Is this bad news?”

“Mr. Lancer -” An idea hit him and he smirked. He turned intangible and dove into his dad. “- wants to have a word with us!”

~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~0~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

Pan_Fried69: Are you out yet

Pan_Fried69: How’d it go are you grounded

EcoAce13: I still can’t believe lancer got on you for your pants. How is that your fault!? It’s not like you pulled them down!

Transplanetary: I’m out. Didn’t get in trouble

Pan_Fried69: Sweet

Pan_Fried69: How’s you manage that

Transplanetary: New problem tho

Transplanetary: MY DAD convinced lancer it was because I don’t eat enough and he actually bought it

EcoAce13: What new problem?

EcoAce13: Wait. Danny, tell me you didn’t!!!!!!

Pan_Fried69: Didn’t what

Transplanetary: Mayhaps

EcoAce13: DANNY!!!!!!

Pan_Fried69: What’d he do

Transplanetary: I might have possessed my dad a little

Transplanetary: And by a little I mean for the whole meeting so he doesn’t even know it happened

Pan_Fried69: Nice!!!

Pan_Fried69: Can you do that to my dad the next time I get in trouble

Pan_Fried69: Better yet can you get me a date

EcoAce13: No, not nice! You can’t just take a persons Drew I’ll away from than!

Transplanetary: Forget it. You can get your own date for the dance like I did

Pan_Fried69: Drew I’ll?

EcoAce13: Free will. Wtf autocorrect?

Transplanetary: Drew I’ll

Transplanetary: And trust me I’m paying for it

Pan_Fried69: What happened

Transplanetary: Lancer asked Dad to chaperon the dance and would take no for an answer

Transplanetary: *wouldnt

Pan_Fried69: Guys problema giant ghost dragon at mall!!!!!

Transplanetary: OMW

EcoAce13: Why are you at the mall?

Pan_Fried69: All the hot people are here

Pan_Fried69: There’s a big sale at Abyss and some football star is signing stuff at Sports Victors

Pan_Fried69: Danny’s fighting the ghost

EcoAce13: So you mean all the brain dead people are there.

EcoAce13: How’s he doing?

Pan_Fried69: He just got knocked into weenie on a skewer

Pan_Fried69: Then calles himself a weenie

EcoAce13: Figures, the idiot.

Pan_Fried69: At least he’s got a date unlike us

EcoAce13: Maybe if I was as pretty as PAULINA. 🙄

Pan_Fried69: The ghost just disappeared

Transplanetary: I don’t know where it went, but that’s the second time I’ve fought it. We need to investigate

EcoAce13: Are you okay?

Transplanetary: Also why are you so down on Paulina? So she’s pretty, it’s not a crime

Transplanetary: I’m fine

EcoAce13: Looks are de icing, Danny.

EcoAce13: *deceiving

Pan_Fried69: Great now if only I could get a date

Pan_Fried69: Well then

Pan_Fried69: Apparently the dragon and Danny were a prank using smoke and a projector

EcoAce13: You’ve got to be kidding me

Pan_Fried69: They just made an announcement ove the intercom

Transplanetary: Trust me people will make as many excuses as possible to avoid admitting ghosts are real

Pan_Fried69: How would projections even do all that stuff

Transplanetary: No clue

~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~0~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

The Amulets of Aragon

The Amulets come from a Spanish tale about a noble family residing within the medieval Kingdom of Aragon who attempted to usurp the King. Wanting the crown for himself, the lord asked his sister to use witchcraft to create two amulets that would allow them to transform themselves into powerful dragons. The king learned what was to happen and had his knights storm the lord’s manor. The knights captured the lord and lady before the amulets could be completed and the two were burned as witches.

The King’s victory was short-lived, however, as the two nobels returned as vengeful spirits. What they failed in life, they accomplished in death as upon their necks were the amulets the brother had longed for. Together the spirits burned the king’s castle to the ground in a storm of blue and green flames.

The legend goes on to say that any who stole the amulets from the lord or lady could gain their power, but they would have no control over it. They would be captives to their distress or anger and lash out blindly.

“Are you sure this is what we’re looking for?” Tucker asked, looking over the webpage. “Just sounds like some fairytale.”

“No, I think she’s onto something, look at the pictures,” Danny said and Tucker opened the gallery.

The first few pictures were medieval art of similar-looking black and purple dragons; though none seemed to be able to agree if it had bat or bird-like wings, scales or feathers, two or four legs, and ears or horns. Those were followed by more dragons, these blue and green. These were just as mismatched, but even then…

“Okay, the blue one kind of looks like your ghost dragon.”

“And Danny said the ghost looked medieval and mentioned her brother right?” Sam pointed out.

“Huh, that's the amulet I gave to Paulina. It must have accidentally fallen into my backpack. Wait. You mean… I'm going on a date with a dragon?” Danny gasped.

Tucker scrolled down to see pictures of the amulets. The stone settings looked the same, though one was on a long chain while the other had a collar band. The latter looked just like the necklace Paulina had been wearing the past two days.

Sam gave a snort. “Like I said, looks are deceiving. I'm sure you two will have a wonderful evening at the dance.”

“Thanks,” Danny deadpanned.

Suddenly Danny sent him a text.

Tucker gave his friend a confused look, but opened it.

👻Boo Boy: She really wants to go to the dance

Me: But she says she doesn’t want to

👻Boo Boy: Were her best friends

“What are you going to do to stop her?” Sam asked.

👻Boo Boy: We should have known

Me: Well there’s nothing we can do about it now right

“There’s no way you can just ask for the necklace back,” Tucker said, “not without a good reason.”

Me: Right

Me: Danny

When Danny didn’t reply, Tucker looked up at the video chat.

Danny was giving him a smirk.

Me: No way forget it ABSOLUTELY NOT NO

“Maybe I can say it’s a family heirloom?” Danny suggested.

👻Boo Boy: Tuck

Me: I just found out Kwan bailed on Valerie

Me: VALERIE

Me: She’s like a luster adjacent

“But then why would you have given it away?" Sam said.

Me: If I act fast I can catch her on the rebound

👻Boo Boy: Come on Tuck

Me: You come on

Me: Why don’t you just take her

“I don’t know! Ugh!” Danny groaned.

👻Boo Boy: What part of “going on a date with a dragon” didn’t you get? Paulinas likely to scorch the town if I bail on her

Me: Plus it’s Paulina

👻Boo Boy: I mean yeah that too but that’s not what’s important right now

Me: Uh huh 🤔

👻Boo Boy: I’m serious Tuck

👻Boo Boy: Do it for Sam

Tucker tried to give Danny an annoyed look, only to find his friend giving him puppy eyes.

Abort! Abort! He tried to look away, but it was too late.

Me: This is so unfair!!!!!!!

Danny smiled quickly then glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, I think I hear Jazz calling me. We can talk more later. See you guys!”

And he was gone.

“Well bye,” Sam said, rolling her eyes. “I should probably go too.”

“Wait, Sam,” he called before she could end the call. He glanced down at his phone, Valerie’s twitter still open on the app’s tab, and sighed. “I was wondering since neither of us have dates, do you want to go as friends? It’d be better than just sitting around at home. Plus, we can make fun of Danny and his dragon date.”

Sam frowned and glanced to the side. “Uh, I don't know. This is so last minute. And I do have plans, and -”

Tucker perked up. “If you don’t want to -”

“Okay, but only because you couldn’t get a date. Might as well put that lame dress my parents bought me to use. Tell Danny I’ll take care of transportation for us four. I need to make some appointments. See you tomorrow!” Sam said quickly before she ended the call.

Tucker blinked then slumped back with a groan. He closed Twitter and texted Danny.

Me: Sam’s parents are driving us to the dance

~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~0~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

I had fun with the trio's chat names and Danny's contact. I'm still unsure about Sam's chat name, but the next best idea I had was AsexuWhale and a pun like that didn't feel right for her.

Warning Description: Dora is described as being beaten up and it’s hinted that her brother was the one who did it. It's rather minor, but I felt it necessary to list just in case.

[sevensymbols]

play date (m)

PAIRING: kim namjoon + reader GENRE: smut WORD COUNT: 4k WARNINGS: dom!namjoon, sub!reader, choking, degrading names, overstimulation, rough sex, daddy kink, light bdsm. this is literally the dirtiest smut i’ve ever written and i’m so sorry cause it’s kind of... brutal. i wrote this one night when i couldn’t sleep and im so sorry about the content of this story. if u don’t like rough, as in really rough stuff, please don’t read this one. apologies to the cute little sunshine that is namjoon, i just- i have a lot of dreams, you know? anyways, enjoy.

SUMMARY: you and namjoon have always been on good terms, even flirting from time to time. but once you get invited to a so called ‘play date’, certain misunderstandings may lead to some dirty actions.

I’ll be there soon.

seen 4:27 PM

You’ve read your message over and over as you skipped down the street to your friends’ place. Namjoon invited you over a couple days ago, cheekily adding you two are going to have a play date.

A play date, huh?

You weren’t sure what Namjoon meant when he said that. You knew about play dates as a scheduled meeting for children to play with other kids. But both of you were clearly adults. Besides, the events of the last few weeks suggested that there might be something more than just plain friendship.

There were “accidental” touches, different dirty jokes between you two, and glances, oh the glances. You weren’t sure if this wasn’t just all in your head, which was the reason why your outfit consisted of a short tennis skirt, a white blouse, pink socks and black mary jane shoes - in case if he really meant it just for fun, you can just go: “haha! I knew that all along!” and your outfit wouldn’t twist your words.

To top it all off, you wore a black heart choker and two pins on each side of your middle parted hair, something your friends weren’t really used to see you in.

You were almost immediately buzzed in, although it was not by Namjoon, but his older friend, Hoseok. You two had a good relationship - him being a good comedic relief everytime you hung out together - and so it was no surprise when you heard him running down the stairs excitedly just to hug you.

Once he saw you however, he halted his actions.

Looking you up and down, his mouth fell agape and it took him a few seconds to finally greet you. “___! What- I mean how-”

“What?” you giggled - you’ve never seen your friend this confused.

“Hobi? Is ___ her-”

Your eyes met with Taehyung’s, who was followed by Jeongguk.

“Hey guys!” you greeted them. “How are you?”

“Better now,” Jeongguk smirked, which earned him a playful slap by Taehyung.

“Good... we-”

“We- are good.”

“Okay? Uh, is Namjoon here?”

“Yeah, he is upstairs.”

“Okay, I’ll see you guys later!”

You practically ran up the stairs, your heart beating in your chest in excitement. The thought of seeing Namjoon, hell, Namjoon seeing you in this outfit made you feel elated.

Knock, knock, knock.

You heard footsteps and suddenly the door opened, revealing Namjoon in his casual outfit - an olive green hoodie and some grey sweatpants.

“Hel- oh.”

It took him one glance - one surprised glance to be exact - before he yanked your arm towards him, making you stumble into his room. He kicked the door so it would close, throwing you onto the couch.

“What the hell is this?” he asked, his gaze fixed on you.

Now it was your turn to stutter. “W-what is what?”

“Your outfit,” he said.

“Oh, I... I thought it would be funny if-”

“Did the boys see you?” Namjoon interrupted you, slowly making his way towards you.

“I- well, uh-”

He sat down next to you, tracing patterns onto your thigh, making you whimper quietly. “I, well, uh. You’re a big girl, use your words.”

“Th-they saw me, yes.”

“Who did, darling?”

“Hobi, Taehyung and Jeongguk.”

“Hmm, I see.”

And before you knew it, his lips were on yours. The kiss was not romantic, it was hot, sloppy and needy. His tongue explored your mouth all while both of his hands were occupied - one was holding your chin, the other one danced on your thigh.

He suddenly broke the kiss. “Continue.”

“Ex-excuse me?”

“You said you thought it would be funny and I didn’t let you finish. What would be funny, darling?”

You tried to speak, but his hands were everywhere and-

“Speak.”

“Uh, I thought, since you said this was a play date, tha- oh my god - that I would dress up like I-I was going to a p-”

“So you decided to wear the skimpiest outfit you could find? So that you could tease me? You don’t think you do that enough already?” His hand traveled into your panties, cupping your sex. “Bending over in the tiniest shorts you own, like you did during our kickback? Fuck, how I wanted to fuck you into oblivion right there, right in front of the boys.”

You moaned and he pinched your clit in return. “Shut up. You knew damn well what you were doing to me, didn’t you? Yet here you are, this time not only teasing me, but the other guys as well. You’re just asking for it, aren’t you? You filthy little girl.”

With one swift motion, his strong hand was ripping your underwear, pushing the scrap fabric down your legs before his fingers returned to your pussy.  “Look at this. Look at this pretty little pussy. It’s so swollen, kind of like it needs-”

Now you were the one interrupting Namjoon, crying out a string of ‘oh god’s as the man’s two slender fingers pushed in and out of you.

“...this?” he smirked, glancing at you. Your head was thrown back up until this point which he didn’t like. Next thing you knew, his hand was tangled in your hair, pushing your head forward so that you could see his fingers.

“Fucking watch,” he growled.

You watched his fingers mercilessly going in and out of you, little droplets of a clear watery liquid flying onto Namjoon’s hands and pants, and also your thighs.

“Push,” he ordered, hands not leaving you.

You pushed, face hot and red, eyelids heavy as you watched yourself squirt for the first time ever.

“Good fucking girl,” Namjoon uttered, swatting his juice coated hand so that you get covered in it too. He leaned closer to you, cupping your face with both of his hands as he lovingly kissed your forehead.

His roughness, however, returned quicker than you thought, because seconds after the kiss Namjoon was already pulling down his pants, revealing his thick cock that was just waiting to be freed. “Open your mouth.”

You obey and he grabs you by your ankles, making your knees hit the wooden floor. Namjoon grabs his cock, swatting your lower lip with it a few times before pulling away completely, confusing you.

“Tell me how much you want this cock. Tell me how much you need me in your mouth.”

“I need you so bad, please, I-”

“Daddy,” he interrupts, smirking down at you.

“Please Daddy, I want to please you with my mouth, just- ngh-”

You were interrupted once again as his dick slips past your lips into your warm mouth. Namjoon holds you by your hair, close to the roots, all the while pushing himself in your mouth, face-fucking you.

You gag on his cock which only seems to turn him on more, your glossy eyes looking up and seeing him with his head thrown back, pleasure taking over his body. He stops, pulling your saliva-covered face away. “What do you say?”

“Th-thank you Daddy,” you rasp out, voice still hoarse from the abuse of your throat.

Namjoon however doesn’t seem to care, as he grabs your small frame like a sack of potatoes and throws you on your side on the couch, climbing behind you to rub your sensitive clit once again.

“You want this dick, baby girl? You still want me to pound you?”

“Yes Daddy, please Daddy, I want your big cock in my tight pussy- agh!”

The male doesn’t wait, quickly ramming into you and grunting in the process. His strong hands grip your arms so that you have as little movement as possible, your moans echoing throughout the room.

He pulls you off of him, sitting down on the couch and making you sit on his prick. “There we go,” he breathes out as you sink down on him, the feeling of being stretched almost sends you over the edge. “Ride me, baby.”

Moans and grunts fill the room, as well as the sound of skin slapping together. You notice a mirror right in front of you and Namjoon realizes it too.

“Look at yourself,” he commands, bucking his hips up to make you jump, “Filthy little whore fucking her Daddy for all to see. I bet Hoseok or Jeongguk would love to see you bounce on me like that, wouldn’t they? I bet the’d come on the spot.”

You follow his orders, seeing your disheveled state. Smeared makeup, wet sweaty face, hair sticking out everywhere. But you don’t care, as long as your Daddy’s fucking you this good.

Namjoon’s grip on your hips tightens as he lifts you up and lays you on the ground, pulling your legs towards him so that your back is on the floor and your cunt is in the air, awaiting his dick.

“Fuck, look at you. I’d love to keep you like this forever,” he hums, guiding his dick in your hole before pulling all the way out, “just collar you and keep you here as my personal cumslut.” He repeats the process, slapping your clit with his cock a few times, “then everybody would see what a dirty fucking slut you are, dripping for me and ready to be used whenever I please.”

He starts ramming into you and you can’t even moan this time, the pleasure being so intense that you can clearly hear the squishing sound of your pussy being destroyed by his needy cock. “Ah-ah, Daddy, I’m going to cum, please-”

“Cum, cum you little vixen,” he grunts and you do, his words sending you over the edge.

Namjoon doesn’t seem to be done with you, however, because in the following seconds, he pulls out of you, only to push you on all fours on the couch. He climbs behind you, grabbing your arms again before fucking you mercilessly. You can hear each thrust so well all you want to do is thank him. “Thank you, Daddy. Ah, ah, ah, oh my God, Daddy, you’re going to destroy me! Ah!” you moan over and over again, “please don’t stop.”

“Needy little cockslut,” he chuckles, slapping your behind with such force that you can feel yourself jump forward, “So hungry for Daddy’s cock. Whose are you?”

“I’m yours, Daddy!” you whimper.

Another spank echoes through the room. “And whose pussy is this, hm?”

“Yours, Daddy!”

Smack!

“Say it out loud, make those little fuckers outside hear you!”

“It’s your pussy Daddy, only yours!”

Smack! “Good fucking girl. You’re gonna make Daddy cum. Are you close, too?”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m so fucking close,” you whimper, not sure if what you just said made any sense at all. Your mind seems to be quite occupied.

“Cum, you whore. Show me how filthy you are, coming for the third time today.”

His words were like a gospel to you, his name a prayer as you yelled your final ‘Daddy!’ before coming undone on Namjoon’s dick. The male pulled out, slapping your overstimulated cunt to make you cry out some more, before making you sit on your knees again.

“Open wide, baby girl.” His voice is authoritative and you’d never consider disobeying. Your lips part as his juice-coated penis slips past them for the second time today as you can’t help but taste yourself on him.

“So needy,” he points out again, jerking his cock a few times before his hot seed fills your hungry mouth and stains your face. Namjoon leans forward, wiping his cum from your face towards your mouth. “Swallow it.”

You obey your Daddy, swallowing everything you could. You’re red in the face, your ass is covered in handprints and your legs are still trembling.

Again, you make Namjoon chuckle when he sees your disheveled state.

He turns around for a second, opening one of his drawers before pulling out a blanket, wrapping it around you. The man picks you up, this time gently laying you down on the sofa and curling up beside you.

You feel his hands around your waist and he gives you a kiss on the forehead, suddenly pulling away in an awkward manner.

“You know, you can kiss me, Joonie,” you laugh.

“I- uh-”

“You’re acting all shy and cute now, but five minutes ago you were pure sin, so I don’t believe this act anymore,” you inform him.

“I don’t know what came over me, ___. Honestly. I’m sorry if I hurt you, I really like you, you know,” he admitted, eyes travelling mindlessly across the room.

“You didn’t hurt me, Joon,” you smile. “And I like you too. Shame we didn’t go on that date though.”

“That’s no shame,” he shook his head. “I wanted to take you on a date so that the guys know whose team are you on, if you know what I mean. But you are a screamer as I found out so the guys already know who do you belong to.”

“Namjoon!”

[hartsgf]

i’m bored : auston matthews

song(s): break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored - ariana grande ; in my head - ariana grande

word count: 2,082 (man i need to shut up)

warning(s): drinking, some swearing.

a/n: this is the first thing i’ve written in a long time due to feeling unmotivated/uninspired. hope you like it :)

 how dare he?

it had been exactly a month and a half since you and auston had decided to call off your unofficial relationship, and had the nerve to show up to your nightclub with his new girlfriend. and, of course, she was pretty, she looked exactly like you in every way, down to her outfit. she was basically another version of you; a clone, if you will.

auston had decided since he couldn’t have you, he’d just get a copy of you. which, in his head, seemed like a good idea at first. that was up until he stared at you from across the club, with your date. his heartbeat suddenly sped up as he made eye contact from the dance floor while you sat with your date at the couch.

taking a sip of your drink, you continued to ignore the boy you showed up with (who was currently talking your ear off) and kept your eye on auston, watching as the girl he brought continued to dance on him with her backside pressed up against his crotch. 

after feeling a slight, cold tap on your left thigh, you turned back to your date, miles. “you alright?” he asked, his subtle british accent making an appearance.

you nodded, shifting all your attention to him. “i’m fine. what were you saying?” you asked before reaching out your hand to hold his own; showing the first bit of attention tonight.

he cleared his throat, “i was just sayin’ how i wasn’t expectin’ you to ask me out. especially not tonight since it was so last minute. not that i’m complaining, of course. just a bit of a surprise is all.”

‘he’s a talker,’ you mentally noted. 

“granted,” miles continued on, “i should’ve verbally talked to you instead of writing my number on your cup. but that was two weeks ago and you hadn’t even texted me until today, i was for sure you weren’t interested. but i see that i was wrong.” he squeezed your hand, earning a smile from you.

sure, he was nice. but he wasn’t auston. merely just a temporary distraction.  

“are you having a good time?” you asked, shooting a quick glance in auston’s direction and almost immediately regretting it.

“i’d be having a better time if we danced,” he stood up, dusting off his pants and offering his right hand for you to take.

smiling, you stood up and accepted his invitation. you looked towards the crowd of people and noticed the girl auston showed up with had left him alone on the dance floor while she went to the bar for drinks.

seeing this as an opportunity, you turned to miles. “on second thought,” you started, “why don’t we get some drinks first?”

miles furrowed his brows, “we already had drinks; i didn’t even finish mine.” he motioned to his half-full glass that sat on the table.

“exactly! your drink was gross so i’m gonna get you a better one,” you stated, quickly coming up with an excuse to meet this girl at the bar. miles was confused but decided not to fight it. he instead sat back down in his original spot as you walked away to the bar. 

auston watched as you approached, thinking you had got up to talk to him. so, to say the least, he was surprised when you only looked at him for half a second before walking right past him; not even taking a second out of your day to talk to him. 

finally arriving at the bar, you took the only seat available next to auston’s new girlfriend.

‘well now i’m here,’ you thought, ‘but, what do i say?’

you cleared your throat, loudly, hoping it would get her attention. but, alas, she kept her head down as she continued scrolling on her phone. after tossing your hair behind your shoulder, the little bit of light in the club reflected off of your diamond-studded choker. setting your right elbow on the counter, you “accidentally” bumped yours into hers.

“sorry!” you apologized quickly.

she smiled, “it’s fine,” and turned to look back at her phone before looking back up at you. “your choker is really nice,” she complimented, “i have one just like it.”

“i bet,” you replied, not exactly paying attention to what you were saying.

“what do you mean?” she asked.

“oh, just because the choker is nice and you look like you have nice style.” you managed to lie.

it was almost as if you were looking at a watered-down version of yourself. yeah, she was pretty, extremely pretty, but she wasn't you.

she smiled again. "thanks. i'm astrid."

"(y/n)," you simply replied. slapping your hand down on the bar a few times, you got the attention of the somewhat busy bartender. he turned around almost immediately and tossed the towelette on his shoulder once he realized it was you. "hey (y/n), you want your usual appletini?"

astrid was amazed. she had spent fifteen minutes trying to order drinks and all you had to do was slap the counter a few times." and one whiskey sour, please." you added politely.

carter, the bartender, started working on the drinks right away, causing astrid to turn to you. "how were you able to just...do that?"

you shrugged as if it was no big deal. “i just have good connections with many of the people that work here, nothin’ special.”

astrid scoffed, “i’ve been trying to get some drinks for the past ten minutes and i can’t even get the bartender to look at me.”

“seriously?” you tried to sound shocked. “hey, carter, my friend astrid here wants to order some drinks,” you said to carter, easily grabbing his attention.

astrid ordered her two drinks before thanking you for being so kind. “you ordered two drinks so i’m assuming you’re here with someone?” you rested your chin in the palm of your hand, keeping eye contact with astrid.

she nodded, “i’m here with my boyfriend, auston,” she turned in her seat to face the crowd of people and you did the same, “right there.” she pointed to him, but he stuck out like a sore thumb, being the only person standing in a crowd of people that were dancing. he looked at you straight away, already knowing what you were up to and being extremely nervous about it. 

you squinted, trying to seem shocked for the second time this night. “is that...auston matthews?” you asked.

“mm-hm,” astrid spun back in her seat after hearing he first drink being placed on the bar, “are you a hockey fan?”

“i prefer the caps, but, auston and i used to be friends. as crazy as that may sound.” you grabbed your drink without completely turning around, making sure auston knew you were talking about him.

“oh, that’s so cool! i guess it really is a small world. but, yeah, my birthday is in a few weeks and i was looking for a place i can throw a party. auston recommended we look here so...here we are.” astrid took a sip of her drink and started to pull out her wallet to pay.

you finally turned back around, placing your hand on her’s. “don’t worry about it, i’ll pay.” you smiled sweetly before getting your wallet out of your clutch. “wow, thank you!” astrid spoke.

“don’t mention it,” you put three ten-dollar bills on the bar, “but, if you’re thinking of throwing a party here, you need the full experience. like, the vip section.”

“that sounds nice, but, there’s no way i could get in so last minute,” she admitted.

you scoffed, “that’s silly, i can get us in no problem. here,” you stood up, “grab our drinks and follow me.” she quickly grabbed all four glasses before following you to the vip section. the sight of her trailing behind you as you carelessly walked to the vip section empty-handed was a sight you wished you could see. but, as long as auston was watching, it doesn’t really matter.

pushing past the line of people, you walked up to the security guards who stood in front of a velvet rope. “(y/n),” one of the guards smiled as you approached, “wasn’t expecting you to show up tonight.”

“i’m full of surprises, tony.” you peered over his shoulder, seeing the section was empty. “i see no one is in there, is it cool if me and a few friends stay in there?”

“anything for my favorite cousin,” tony smiled before pulling back the velvet rope and allowing you and astrid to walk in.

“oh. my. god.” she put down all four drinks on the mini table before sitting down on one of the couches. “i...you...how...how? first the drinks and now this?” she was amazed.

“all about connections.” you sat down across from her.

“oh, shit. i completely forgot he’s the whole reason i’m here in the first place. hold on, i’ll go get him.” she stood.

“no,” you stood, “let me, i have to go get my date as well.” you left before she gave any room for pushback. you walked through the crowd of people, looking for auston but not seeing him anywhere. that’s when you felt a hand grabbed your arm and turned you around to face them.

looking up at the person as seeing it was auston, you snatched your arm away from him. “don’t touch me,” you grimaced.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, obviously annoyed.

“i’m not doing anything except for being nice to a friend i just met,” you replied innocently, adding a smile. “a friend that looks just like me if i might add.”

he was quiet for a moment, only staring at you. “are you being serious right now?”

“being serious about what?” your whole deminer changed. this time, you were completely annoyed. “you decide you can’t have me so you get a clone and expect me to not be upset about it.”

auston shook his head, smirking. “she doesn’t even look that much like you and if she does, so what? is it my fault that t i have a type?”

“i’m the reason why you have a type, auston. because of me, you like girls who look like me but won’t stress you out, and for what? so you won’t have to put in that much effort?” you questioned, standing your ground.

auston was quiet, but, he was listening. 

“and, look at you. before we dated you had no sense of style whatsoever, all that money just a throw a bunch of random shit together and call it a look. then i came along and helped you finally put together an outfit. i practically invented you,” you continued.

auston chuckled as he listened to your rant.

“then, you have the nerve to bring her to my club.” you crossed your arms.

“your club?” he questioned while laughing, “i’m the reason why we even found this place.”

“and i’m the reason why we always got in for free and how we were basically treated like royalty. i bet you still used my name to get in, didn’t you?” you asked, noticing how he refused to look at you. “exactly,” you shook your head. 

sighing again, you looked down at your shoes, “and it sucks that after all this, i still manage to miss you.”

auston finally looked at you, “what?”

“nothing,” you replied, “astrid is waiting for you in vip; i told her i’d come get you.”

“i have to pee,” he said before leaving to go to the bathroom. 

after returning back to miles, you explained all that happened in the past ten minutes and brought him to meet astrid. a few minutes later, auston returned from the washroom, giving astrid a kiss on the cheek before he sat which caused you to roll your eyes. moments later, your phone vibrated against your thigh, indicating you had a new text.

auston: Can u stop acting like a fucking brat

smirking, you looked up at auston only to realize miles wasn’t even sitting next to you anymore. instead, he sat next to astrid as she showed him pictures on her phone.

you: dont they make such a cute couple??

“hey, (y/n),” astrid called you, “my party isn’t until a few weeks, but, i’d really love it if you and miles could make it.”

you smiled, “i wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

[questionofdarkness]

some things I noticed during the latest chapter (aka you all knew this was coming because 199 was made for me!)

So, why did this take me so long? Well, obviously, there weren’t only a handful notable panels for me this time! Also I was really busy and I wanted to do this on my PC so that I don’t have to split it up in multiple parts again. So… chapter 199, huh? What a great time to be alive for all my fellow birb boy stans out there! Though I must say, I am a tiny bit disappointed in one aspect: I don’t think they brought across Toko boy’s character as well as they could in this chapter. Where were all the angsty one liners? Where was the edginess? There was a lot of hood Hawks and more amazing pictures than I ever imagined, but… yeah, it just didn’t feel as much like my boy as I hoped it would. Nevertheless, I am obviously really excited that we get to see so much of him - I’ve been waiting for some insight in the Hawk’s internship since it was first confirmed that Toky also had taken one and all the fanons that became canon! But let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Starting off strong with a beautiful Hawks! Amazing! 10/10!

My poor boy, look at his little legs! 

Wheeze wheeze indeed! Again, confirmation that Tokoyami really wasn’t in the best phyical shape (compared to the other 1A members that is!). I really like how they subtlety show us development in characters like the bird boy through panels like this one. Also don’t you think these two sidekicks look like half a Tokoyami each? Like, we have the “beak” and the black clothes. That means the whole group is actually more like a 1.5 bird, right?

Tokoyami, starting to stand up for himself! That’s the good stuff!

I think we all lost our shit at this panel, right? I mean. Holy fuck! I think horikoshi just goes to the bnha tag on tumblr when he runs out of ideas and goes like “Yeah, that’s stupid, let’s put that in!”. Also Hawks giving no single shit is my aesthetic. 

What kind of response is that???? Also Toky is so fucking done I’m crying 

(Did anyone else notice the braclets? Do they serve a purpose? I don’t think so. Oh boy. Also the choker. I was kinda hoping he had painted nails as well, but I guess we can’t get everything straight away, right?)

So first of all - yes, yes he does! 

Secondly “birdman”? Man? Really? You wanna call this 5′2 goth teenie a man?

Fierce! 

Poor boy, I feel you though.

I love how this is phrased. “He decided to take me again”. Because to my understanding, the students have to seek out their employers themselves - they don’t get offers like they did during the week long internship. That means Tokoyami was the one to contact Hawks and ask him to take him under his wings again (pun intended). Although he said he had learned nothing last time! Although he went into the internship with the mindset, that Hawks was just interested in his connection to class 1A. 

So Tokoyami conciously sought him out to prove him and himself how much more he had in him than Hawks had realized! And I love this aspect of my boy, because it has never been shown before. He always was trying his best, but he never really displayed such a direct, stubborn will to prove himself. Again, I love how subtly Horikoshi lets side characters grow. It’s one of the things I love most about bnha.

TENEBROUS ABYSS BODY!

No but seriously, look at his eyes, look at that determination! How can people not love this boy? Also at least we get an edgy “nay” here, so good job!

Recognition!

Look at them smirk, I fucking love Hawks!

You know what I really like about this panel? Normally, when Tokoyami uses his Black Ankh, you don’t really see his eyes but mainly those of dark shadow. But here it’s the opposite. For me, that again represent his growth - he isn’t hiding behind Dark’s strength anymore! That goes along really well with the overall message of this chapter. Gotta love hero aca for it’s story telling.

And the next second he looks like a tiny precious bird again. His beak is so round! Ugh, i wanna hug him so much right now!

And again, everyone looses their collective shit.

one whole bird!

But i’ve literally seen fanarts exactly like this before this chapter came out! What the fuck, Horikoshi??

I do not like the implication that Hawks might not have asked for Toky’y permission and just picked him up though. But then again I guess we just weren’t shown. I can’t wait for this to get animated!!

Also “We’ve become one with the wind!” is also a respectable Tokoyami line.

“!” “?”

Hawk’s using Tokoyami’s real name while everyone else calls him Tsukuyomi is also great. I wonder if he has done that before or if this is the first time. But I also wonder what it might imply. Maybe it shows that he doesn’t see him as but a trainee, or maybe that he can’t really recognize him as a hero yet. I’d say I hope to see more of their relationship in the future, but to be honest, I doubt it.

I can’t wrap my mind around the way my boy is drawn here! On one hand I love it - look how fluffy his feathers seem! - but it’s also a tad strange. But again, fierce Toky speaking his mind!

Mentoring!

Also look at how tiny Tokoyami is!!! God I love this boy!

Why does it make me laugh every time when Hawks talks about them being birds?

Hawks looks so damn cool here! 

But aren’t we gonna talk about how Toky clings to the mast? I mean good decision, but I still find it funny. Hawks is all dramatic, staring into the distance, and Toky’s like “yeah I really appreciate the advise and all but if I fall I will die!”

Still dramatically raking off his cape!

Also same, it sounds fucking awesome!

Momo, could you please stop being so gorgeous? Also please change your costume, it’s winter and this is very impractical to begin with! But still, I will always love that they actually give my girl some fat rolls!

Still at it with taking off your cape? Also again: cape buddies!

And Tokoyami looks hot from this point of view as well. Does that make me a furry? Am I being a furry? 

Oh, and Toru gets some lines! Not gonna lie, kinda forgot she was there for a second.

The edgelords are back at it!

I absolutely love how they show that fighting isn’t only about punching stuff and strategy isn’t only observing. The manipulation factor is fascinating and I love how they give this trait to a side character like Kuroiro. He’s generally an interesting guy this far - I hope we’ll see more of him in future chapters.

They didn’t even try to add Toru to the picture! Poor Toru stands, hoping she’d get some more screen time during this arc…

Also I love how for once it isn’t Aoyama who’s being eccentric. 

And my boy still looks so fierce and those arms!

PHAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS BLOODY AMAZING I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH OH MY GOD!

Cue to me crying in the background

(Same)

Ok but this panel is hilarious. I can’t even fully tell while but just… look at his pose!

I love seeing my boy improve (obviously) and it’s again a nice reminder of how much happens behind the scenes in this story.

Ambitious!

Also every Tokoyami/Aoyama shipper is probably crying right now as is Aoyama because his cape got ripped in half

Up up an away my boy!

More gorgeous Momo! Her eyes! Her hair! God I’m so gay!

Quod erat demonstrandum!

Also “Keep flying around freely” is a line I never dared to hope to hear in relation with my birb boy. This chapter is a dream come true.

I will never get tired of seeing Dark and Tokoyami interact. I wish we knew more about those two!

RRRRMMMBBBBBBB

Aoyama is so pissed look at him! My poor dude!

He just… plops out of the shadows. Yeah, how’s life going?

Ah, my girl, my beautiful girl! You sure do think of everything - one of my favorite traits of you. Also it’s nice that Hagakure gets some lines. She has really been neglected this chapter. Then again, I assume 200 will be about Momo’s fight with Kinoko (which I find really surprising - I was sure 200 was going to be Midorya centered! I’m not complaining though), so maybe Hagakure will get to show off against Manga? But then again, there’s also Kendou who I think will be a Momo opponent as well (seeing how the two got history and, as even mentioned last chapter, have a friendly rivalry). I sure am excited to see how this arc will develop, though I am still scared that this group of class A might have to loose in order to maintain a balance to make the final battle and therefore the clash of Izuku and Shinsou count. 

Looking foreward to next week and thank’s to everyone, who stuck around for this rant :D

[atombombbagel]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ROMANCED COMPANIONS WOULD BE LIKE WAKING UP ON CHRISTMAS MORNING AND WHAT GIFT WOULD THEY BRING SOLE IM YELLING BECAUSE IM THINKING OF ALL THE CUTE FLUFF STUFF

Okay sooo, this wasn’t written by me but by my good friend @fantomofthehiddles, who did a super good job at this masterpiece. It’s under keep reading because it is long and amazing :P 

[[Damn, Iturned this into an f!Sole before I realised what I was doing. So sorry, I’lldo better next time, I pwomise! ;__;]]

[[Also,sorry this turned to be as long as an average Ghoul lifespan…]]

Sole awoke one morning to find the worldcovered in snow. At first, she felt surreal, like in the old world, like justin a second she would hear Shaun shifting in his crib, crying for his mommy.But it wasn’t Nate who was still asleep next to her, and it wasn’t 2077anymore. It was just the thick layer of snow and halos of icicles hideverything that, up till now, did a very good job of reminding her the worldhad changed: ruined houses, dead trees with broken branches, ubiquitous debris,and even the yelloweed grass. She reached for her Pip-Boy, as she did everymorning, accidentally turning the knob to “Data”, and if it wasn’t for that,she wouldn’t even realize it was 25th of December already. And thenit hit her: this would be her first Christmas without Nate, without Shaun…without her family.

Cait

“Hey,darlin’, you okay?” Cait sat up next to her, wrapping the bedding around hernaked body to protect herself from the crispy tang in the air. Sole put her armaround her and nodded mindlessly, though the words “yeah, I’m fine” somehowdidn’t want to leave her throat. Cait’s eyes wandered to the Pip-Boy. “Oh, it’sChristmas, ain’t it?”

Solelaughed softly, though didn’t really feel it. “You forgot? Really?” She didn’tmention she would have almost forgotten it herself.

“Hey, whenyou haven’t any real holidays yer entire life, they just slip by.” She soundedalmost angry, but then she looked to the side, maybe even blushed a little, andsaid, “Well, I ain’t gonna spend it complainin’. I’m glad I have me darlin’ toshare it with.” And with a kiss on Sole’s cheek, she jumped out of bed andopened the trunk she kept her things in. “Here. I made this for ya. I know itain’t much, but… I’m not as good with me hands as you are.”

Sole turnedthe bladed knuckles in her hands. They were chrome-finished, polished to ashine, and the blades were so visibly sharp Sole didn’t feel the need to check.On the bottom, on the surface that would rest against her palm, Cait had engraved:“Give ‘em a taste, love” in surprisingly elegant letters. Sole started tosuspect she had had Sturges help her with these.

“Not much?”she teased. “I love them. Come here.” She pulled Cait back to the bed and gaveher a kiss, which soon turned into a much hungrier and sexier make-out session, until they finally pulled away, albeitwith some effort. “Now, what do you say we go for a walk to the Combat Zone andmake Tommy spend Christmas with us? And we could have MacCready come with us.”

Cait lookedat her in such surprise, she didn’t even notice her eyes teared up a little.“Nothing would make me happier, luv.” And after another second of staring atSole’s face in wonder, she smiled with clear, unbridled joy, a smile Sole sorarely got to see on Cait’s face, and said, “It’s nice, y’know, having afamily.”

Curie

“I havenever seen snow before, did you know?” Curie said, standing at the window,staring at the white roofs of Diamond City’s buildings. Sole walked over to herto embrace her from behind. She put her chin on Curie’s shoulder, looking out atthe view, and suddenly all the hard work she’d put into installing the windowwas worth it. The fluff was still falling, slowly, gently drifting to theground, clinging to the Christmas lights drawn across the square, and thechildren played below, having a snowball battle without care for any collateraldamage to walls and passers-by. 

Sole dug her face in Curie’s neck, stifling acry as she realized she would never get to see Shaun, real Shaun, playing like that. She did adopt the synth Shaun,mostly for Curie’s sake; Curie, upon learning about the feud between theRailroad and the Institute, and how everyone else played into it, had been veryconcerned about how their relationship could be viewed by others. How Solecould be ostracized or even persecuted for loving her. How maybe she didn’treally like being with a synth. So Sole adopted the kid to calm her doubts,show her she really cared; but there was still a nagging voice in the back of hermind making her constantly aware that the ten-year-old boy, now running aroundTakahashi’s noodle stand in order to get a better angle at the ‘enemy team,’wasn’t her real son. Even though he acted like one and loved her like one. Hewasn’t her own.

But peopledidn’t know that, except for select few, like Curie, of course, or Nick who hadhelped her find Shaun in the first place, or X6. Everyone else though shereally did find her son at the Institute. Well, they weren’t really wrong.

“As much asI love this, ma belle,” Curie said,pulling Sole out from the dark corners of her mind, “we must get going. He havea lot to do today! You promised me carolling, remember?”

“I do,”Sole replied reluctantly. Oh, Piper was going to have a field day with them.

“Butfirst,” Curie continued, obviously ignoring her tone, “I have made a veryspecial gift for you, mon amour!” Shescuttled through the room, leaving Sole completely dumbfounded. They’d beenspending every waking moment together for weeks now. When did Curie manage toget her a gift without her noticing? And a hand-crafted one, at that? “Here,unwrap it! I read that unwrapping presents used to be an important traditionbefore the War. But I’m afraid I had to use pages from a children’s book. It iscolorful, yes?”

It wascolorful, and pretty. So much that Sole tried her best not to damage thepackaging too much, but Curie didn’t seem to mind. What emerged looked somewhatlike a leather collar, black, and quite elegant. There was a round piece ofplatinum at the front which seemed to have a purpose beyond just being adecoration.

“It doessomething, doesn’t it?” Sole asked, throwing Curie a mistrustful glance.

“Yes, see,if you put it on and press this button, it releases a mild chemical which willstop pain conduction from the neck down. It should make it more comfortable foryou to tend to your injuries in the field, when I am not there to help.Professor Scara helped me with the technology. She said it is called ‘achoker’, even though I don’t see why. Still, very useful, no? And I think youwill look very mignonne in it.”

“Oh, Curie,”Sole said, almost crying for some reason. “You’re the most amazing woman I’veever met. Thank you.”

“I knew you would like it!” Content, sheopened the window to shout: “Shaun, monpetit cœur! It is time to come home!” And as she turned back to Sole, “This shouldbe an interesting experiment. We should start with the Science Center, no? Myco-workers should be thrilled to have us.”

Sole turnedthe choker in her hands, feeling the texture of the soft leather, before sheput it on the side table. There would be time to test it later. Now, she wasabout to spend Christmas with her family.

Danse

“What was that about?” Sole heard Hancock’s voiceoutside the window.“Hell if I know,” Nick replied, they voices getting quieter as they walkedaway. Sole looked out the window to find Danse standing on the porch.

“Whathappened?” she asked.

“I smiled,”he replied, causing her to choke with stifled laughter. “And I told them ‘MerryChristmas’. I don’t think they liked it.”

“They wereprobably just surprised,” she said before walking out to the porch with him andpromptly shivering in the cold. Note to self: winter is not the time of year towalk out of the house in nothing but a nightgown. “Oh, shit, it’s cold.”

Danselooked her up and down. “That is indeed the case when you stand barefoot in thesnow.” Had he said it, he picked up against her protests that everyone wasgoing to see—

“It’s justfor a second,” he cut her off, dashing to the building across the street. AndSole, holding on to his strong, broad shoulders, suddenly didn’t mind. He sether down near the fire. “I actually have something for you that might be theanswer to your problem.” And from a locker, he pulled out… Maxson’s battlecoat?

“Wh… Pleasetell me you didn’t go back to the Prydwen to kill Elder Maxson for this,” shestuttered out, but as Danse began shaking his head with amusement, she noticedthere wasn’t any blood on it, and in fact, there weren’t any sign of wear atall.

“If I did,I wouldn’t be standing here right now,” he replied. “It’s just…” Shock onSole’s face deepened. She had never heard him not finish a sentence before.“You used to joke about how much you liked Maxson’s coat, so I thought I shouldmake one for you. Like I said once: if you want something, say it, and I’llmake it happen.” And he wrapped the coat around her bare shoulders, and shemarveled at how warm it was, how well it fit her, how even the lining was justright, and how…

“You madethis? On your own?” She still couldn’t believe it, even holding the damn thing inher hands.

“Well, theyalways encouraged us to work on our uniforms, and turns out, leather isn’t muchdifferent. I hope you like it.”

“Oh, Danse,I love it!” She jumped into his arms again just to give him a deep kiss. Andfeel his biceps, because why not. Danse in turn embraced her waist and huggedher close to steady her. She could feel his firm chest on hers even through hisclothes. As always, it made her remember Nate, just like every time Danse puton his power armor, she remembered Nate in his, and, just as always, shecouldn’t help thinking about how lucky she was. This is where she’d alwaysbelonged: in a soldier’s arms. “Thank you so much, hun’.”

Dansestumbled back into the wall as he put his forehead against hers, closed hiseyes, and momentarily lost his balance a bit; but Sole wasn’t worried. Even ifthey had fallen, Danse would make sure she landed safe on him. Nevertheless,there was something desperate in how he longed for her touch.

“Honey?What’s going on?” she asked gently, her hands against his face. He squeezed herwaist harder, to the point it almost hurt, but then he set her down again.

“I want totell you how important this is for me,” he said softly, looking straight intoher eyes. His fingers played with a strand of her hair, almost as if on theirown. “The last real Christmas I had was… all the way back in Rivet City, withCutler. Later, when we joined the Brotherhood… There always seemed to be moreimportant things to do. Holidays just seemed… silly. We’d give each other smallgifts for a few years, the even that stopped, and then he…” And now, for thefirst time since always, she heard his voice break. She rubbed his face withher hand, trying to give him some sort of comfort. He took a breath, thencontinued, “I just want you to know, this means a lot. Those memories withCutler are some of the most precious ones I have, and I feel blessed to be ableto add to them with you. You make me feel the same way he did: like I have afamily again.”

Hancock

Sole turnedand looked at Hancock, still sleeping soundly, his scarred lips slightly partedin steady breaths. His eyes were moving as he mumbled something in the linesof, “what the fucking fuck happened to this mutfruit?” Sole should havelaughed, but somehow, it only made her feel worse. She didn’t want to wake himfrom this obviously thrilling dream, but… She snuggled up to him, put her headon his bare chest, the warm ridges and crests scraping against her cheek. Ifshe felt chilly before, that was now completely replaced with the heatemanating from Hancock. She clinged to him with her entire body, blamingherself as he stirred awake.

“Hey,sunshine, what’s going on?” He threw his arm around her, squeezing her waistreassuringly.

“I’m sorryI woke you. I didn’t—”

“Come on,getting to spend more time with you? Nothing I’d like more In the world.” Hekissed her forehead and she nuzzled her face into his neck, breathing in hisscent. “So what’s up? Why are you like this? Come on, it’s Christmas.”

“I know…”

“Oh… Ohh.”He pulled her up onto himself until she was on top of him. He cupped her facein his hands, placed another gentle kiss on her lips. “I love you, Sole. I knowit’s not enough to fill the hole your family left in you, b— No, shit, don’tcry.”

Solecouldn’t help it. She clung to him again, bawling all over his shoulder,suddenly so overwhelmed by every bad and good thing she felt, she couldn’t holdit in anymore. She’d been gathering it up for the last three months, nevertalking much about it, never letting it out, because in this world, everyone’slives sucked, and most of them much worse than hers. She had it good, comparedto some. And she really did believe she’d left her old life behind, since thisone was, surprisingly, so much simpler. But apparently not.

Hancock heldher close, rocking them a little as he brushed her hair and gave it a fewkisses. She still couldn’t believe how well he understood, even though she knewit was killing him inside to see her still pining for the husband she had lost.For a dead man. Unless she found a way to truly put Nate out of her mind,Hancock would always feel like he does now: like he comes second to her. Andyet, he remained at her side, loving her unconditionally. Saying how he didn’tdeserve her, when truly, it was her who didn’t deserve him.

“I loveyou, too,” she said finally, having regained control over her shaky breathing.“And I’m so, so sorry.”

“Now, don’ttalk crap like that.” Hancock brushed her hair aside as she raised her tear-stainedface to look him in the eye. “You had a rough year. Rough two hundred years.You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

Shesnuggled up to him again, suddenly unable to speak again. Hancock gave her amoment which he seemed to enjoy just as much as she did, and then said: “Okay,that’s enough of being two emotional wrecks, we need to get going,” as helazily slapped her ass.

Sole satup, too surprised to throw him a black look. “What? Why?”

“We’rehaving a Christmas party at the Third Rail. Didn’t I tell you?” She shook herhead. “I could swear I told you. I did tell you to bring a dress, didn’t I? Well,anyway, it won’t be much of a party without everyone’s favorite mayor making anappearance, so why don’t you just…” And then he bluntly rolled her off of him.Sole, with a pained sigh, kept rolling until she almost fell off the bed andscrambled to her feet.

“Oomph…fuck.” She leaned against the wall, feeling her head explode, but like, in thedistance.

“Youalright?”

“Just a bitdizzy. And a headache.”

Hancockcame over to kiss her temple, but snorted along the way: “You’re spending waytoo much time with me.” But then a thought occurred to him and he frowned. “Ormaybe you’re sick?”

“Bullshit.I’m just tired.” As soon as she could move normally again, she began dressing,much to Hancock’s theatrical anguish. “It’s not like last night brought me muchsleep, exactly…”

“Yeah,sure, make it all my fault,” he teased as he pulled on his coat and fastenedthe belt across his chest. “You little vixen, you.”

Solechuckled. It absolutely was not his fault. He had just about fallen asleep whenshe’d decided to jump his bones. Oh, the poor bed.

Afterseveral minutes of him constantly interrrupting her as she tried to getdressed, they finally went down to the Third Rail, where the entire populace ofGoodneighbor was already gathered. As soon as Hancock walked in, everyonewelcomed him with an earth-shattering ‘huzzah!’ raising their glasses, which,as Sole suspected, were full thanks to his generosity. Oh, how easy it was tomake these people happy. Hancock waited for the commotion to die down—someonehanded him a glass of wine in the meantime and Hancock now thumped hisfingernails against it.

“I’d liketo make an announcement,” he said. “One a bit more elaborate than my usual ‘ofthe people, for the people’.” Everyone cheered anyway. “Okay, okay. Come on,folks. I just wanna say that Goodneighbor may have started as a place, but nowit’s about you. The people. Without you, there would be no Goodneighbor. And itmakes me more happy than I can say to be able to call myself your mayor andcall you my family.” Cheers and ‘aww’s broke out again.

“We loveyou, too, Hancock!” a man shouted.

“Now, now,don’t get too familiar, Joe, you’re not my type.” Hancock winked and Sole couldswear at least half the crowd pretended to faint while the rest laughedheartily. “Not to mention, and here we’re coming up on the second part of myannouncement that most of you probably know, I’m already spoken for.” Sayingthat, he pulled Sole in closer. The crowd cheered on, albeit less loudly, andsome of them murmured in an unsurprised agreement. Sole’s eyes met MacCready’s,who was sitting at the bar, and he smiled and put his glass up to her.

“Now I’dlike you all to come see the gift I got this one. Y’know, in hopes she’ll makegood use of it and come visit us a little more often.” People laughed again,and then most of them followed as Hancock led Sole out with his hand on herwaist.

“What thehell did you do, Hancock?” she murmured, blushing. For someone who got involvedin so much, she didn’t necessarily like being the center of attention.

“You’llsee, sunshine,” he replied in that low voice of his. Son of a bitch. Theywalked out into the cold, crispy air, smelling of smoke and winter. Snowcrunched beneath their feet as they took a left turn around the corner of theOld State House… and then she saw it. A beautiful silver vertibird, clearlyfreshly washed and polished, was sitting on the roof of Hotel Rexford. Anenormous red bow was somehow tied around the pilot’s cabin.

“What thefuck? John? What the actual fuck?” she stuttered, and he only stood there andgrinned proudly. “You can’t be serious! Whaa… How did you even…?”

“You knowhow Gunners will do anything for caps?… Yeah.”

“Do went tothe Gunners?!”

“More likecontacted them via a messenger, arranged a meet on neutral gr… Oh, stopfreaking out. They’re pretty reasonable when they hear the caps jingle, andthey do keep their gear in good condition.” Sole was still shaking her head athim with her eyes widened in honest shock, so he continued, “What was Isupposed to do? Go to the Brotherhood?”

“How aboutget me a smaller, more… manageable gift?”

“Stopwhining.” He kissed her to shut her up. Some of the more intoxicated partyerscheered them on as they rode the line between propriety and shamelessly makingout in public. Hancock pulled back a little, but still stayed close, and whenhe had her so close, his rough hands on both sides of her head, suddenly therewas no one else in the entire world. “It’s your fault, you know. Should neverhave said you’d like one of your own. You should’ve known I’d strive to make ithappen.” Sole let out an incoherent babble, hiding her red face in her hands.Hancock laughed and kissed her forehead. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go spendChristmas with family.”

 BONUS:

As theydescended back into the Third Rail, this time led by a small group of drunkNeighborhood Watch guards, singing a bawdy song as they stumbled down thestairs, Hancock and Sole were suddenly approached by Magnolia.

“I wantedto say, I’m happy for you two,” she said before they could even greet her.“You…” She put her finger on Sole’s chest. “You are one hell of a woman. Iwould know.” She winked and laughed with that perfectly calculated chuckle.“Take care of him, dear. And you, Hancock—don’t fuck it up.”

“Oh,Magnolia. I would never.” Again, with unbridled joy, he kissed Sole’s templewith such exhilaration, she couldn’t help but laugh. But she also couldn’t tearher eyes off of Magnolia’s fiery gaze. There seemed to be something else.

“But,still, in memory of old times…” She threw Sole a meaninful look, making herblush again, as she reached underneath her dress to take out a small package.“I’d like you to have this. I think it’ll suit you well.” And, saying that,Magnolia left a kiss on Sole’s cheek and went on to take her place at themicrophone and entertain the crowd as only she could. Sole opened the smallpacket to find a ruby-eyed ring with intricate engravings around the socket.Hell, it seemed to be older even than her. She stared at it in disbelief untilHancock gently took it from her.

“Well, I’llbe damned.” He said only before slipping it on her finger and then placing analmost theatrical kiss on her hand. “Now, milady… Shall we dance?”

Solelaughed and let him lead her down to the main room of the Third Rail. No onepaid much attention to them anymore, busy with their own friends andactivities. Only Whitechapel Charlie dipped his hat to them as they went past.They found a fairly quiet corner in MacCready’s VIP room, and as they dancedslowly to Magnolia’s voice seeping under the door, singing her specialinterpretations of the Christmas carols, Hancock embraced her close and kissedher neck gently, sending warm shivers down her spine. Until he suddenly jerkedhis head up.

“Wait. Whatdid Magnolia mean by ‘old times’?” he asked, watching her carefully. Soleblushed at the memory of Magnolia’s scent and deft fingers.

“Nothingmuch, love,” she said immediately, but Hancock’s grin made it clear he figuredit out anyway. She laughed at the face he made. Hancock kissed her deeply, andthen instead of dancing, she was in his arms again as he put his hand on theback of her head and refused to let go. And when they pulled back, they wereboth panting hard, and she could see his thoughts written clearly on his partedlips and lustful gaze.

“Goddammit,John,” she said immediately. “We are notdoing this in MacCready’s room with everyone on the other side of the door.”

“Mm, you’reright…” he mumbled, but still didn’t let her go. “But why not?”

MacCready

She allowedherself several minutes to shed a few tears over the life she used to have, butthen a pitter-patter of small feet sounded in the short hallway, and she hadjust barely enough time to wipe her face in the bedding before Duncan ran intothe bedroom.

“IT’SCHRISTMAS!” he shrieked in a tone that nearly burst her eardrums, jumping ontothe bed. “And there’s snow! Have you seen?”

“Yes,” shechuckled, as if immediately healed by his child-like excitement. “You wannahelp me make the food?”

“I would…”He sat up and wrinkled his nose with an undecisive pout. “But I’d also like togo outside… I mean, there’s so much SNOW!”

“Right, youusually wouldn’t see this much, would you? Okay, then, why don’t you getdressed warm and run down to Miss Alice and get some razorgrain and fruit?Actually, take whatever she’ll give you, your dad will probably figure out ause for it.”

She waitedfor Duncan to say, “Oh, okay, I guess” and leave to get dressed before sheburst out laughing at her own unintended sexual innuendo. Fuck, four days isapparently way too long.

Just anhour and half later, they were both in the kitchen, preparing dough for thecake she had promised Duncan probably a couple of weeks ago. Brahmin wasalready marinating, carrots and silt beans cooking; she even prepped the cornwhen she got bored as the dough was rising. Now she was trying her best to makesomething resembling chocolate icing with the odd-tasting brahmin milk, sweetrolls, sugar bombs, and a pinch of coffee. It wasn’t going so well.

“Duncan!Can you please not?” Sole shouted, gently pushing the boy’s hand away from thedough. “Come on, would you rather eat raw dough or a chocolate cake?”

Duncan wasthinking for the longest time before he finally said, reluctantly, “Cake…”,even though he was still eyeing the dough longingly. Sole sighed. “When isDaddy going to be back?” he asked then, and the way he said ‘Daddy’, like hestill couldn’t believe the word even as it left his mouth, tore Sole’s heartout of her chest. Well, shit. She didn’t need it anyway.

“Soon, Ihope,” she said as normally as she could, but she couldn’t help to glance atthe time. RJ had left their house at Sunshine Tidings a few days ago to go finda gift for Duncan. He’d said he would come back in time for Christmas dinner,hell, that he’d even help her make it, but it was already past noon and hestill hadn’t come home. Fuck knows where he went in the first place. He mightbe dead in a ditch somewhere, chewed on by molerats, or… worse—torn to shredsby ferals. She found herself wondering what she’d do if she had to tell Duncanthat, and then take care of him alone. Would she even be able to?

Don’t thinkabout it, she told herself. It would be okay. She sent Strong to go with RJ,and these two were pretty much unkillable together. RJ probably miscalculatedthe time it would take them to get to Goodneighbor and back with Strong slowinghim down a little.

“Why don’tyou go play with Dogmeat outside?” she asked Duncan, seeing the internal battleover the dough play out clearly on his face. “Just dress warmly and becareful.”

“Okay,” hebeamed up at the idea, got ready in the matter of seconds, and shouted “Comeon, Doggy!” as he rushed out the door. Dogmeat slid off of his couch, stretchedcarefully, and followed him out, his muzzle drooping like he wanted to say,“gosh, I’m getting too old for this,” even though he was barely four.

But soonSole could see the dog rolling in the snow so zealously he rolled off a hilland stopped only at the water pump, hitting it with a yelp. Duncan ran to checkup on him, but Dogmeat got up without trouble and immediately knocked the kidoff his feet and into another heap of snow. Sole chuckled to herself before shewent back to her fight with the icing.

It wasn’tlong before Duncan rushed back inside, red-cheeked and shivering, but stillwith a huge grin on his face. Dogmeat soon followed, covered in snow so snuglyone couldn’t even tell he was a German Shepherd anymore. He stood in the middleof the living room and tensed up.

“Oh, no,no, NO!” Sole managed to shout out as she ran to kick him out to the porch, butshe was too late. Dogmeat shook it all off on the beautiful rug she’d restoredwith such effort. Goddammit. “If youthink you’re getting back on the couch, young dog, you are very mistaken,” shesaid strictly. “You stay here in the mess that you made.”

Dogmeatwhined with his uncanny understanding and indeed sat his tail down on the wetrug. That probably wasn’t the best course of action, Sole thought, but she couldn’tback out of it now. She put some wood in the fireplace before going back to thekitchen.

“And you,Duncan, go change and please hangthese wet clothes near the fire, but not inthe fire, okay?”

Duncannodded and ran off. She still wasn’t over how much energy that kid had. But,she supposed, it was normal for children. She’d just never had a chance towitness it before. Her eyes teared up again, and she told herself it was fromthe heat of the cooking.

Duncan sooncame back, got himself busy with some toys, but then eventually ended up on therug with Dogmeat anyway. Sole watched them amused as Dogmeat rolled onto hisback to get some belly rubs, and Duncan, scratching him with one hand, drovethe toy car on his chest with the other. And when the toy inevitably fell offthe steep slope of a dog’s ribcage, Duncan reached over him for it and Dogmeatshamelessly licked him in the face. Duncan, caught by surprise, jumped backwith a surprised shriek before he laughed. Sole smiled. There was probably nothingmore joyful than a small child’s laugh.

“Aww, Ithink he likes you,” she said and Duncan giggled even more. Dogmeat pushed hishead under Duncan’s hand and the two were promptly playing together again.

Only a fewminutes had passed before the door opened again with another wave of cold airblowing into the house. Sole turned away from the stove just as Duncan yelled:“Hi, Daddy!” and ran to get a hug.

“Hi,buddy,” RJ said, putting his arm around him, and then promptly giving Sole anapologetic look. “I’m sorry it took so long, we—”

“Oh, shutup,” Sole cut him off and ran over, rising up to her toes to finally kiss him.His lips and cheeks were awfully cold, but she didn’t care. “It doesn’tmatter,” she said as she pulled away, sliding her hands down his chest. “Aslong as you’re okay, it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, I’mfine. The snow surprised us a little. Some places, it was up to my waist and wehad to improvise. Have you ever had Strong give you a piggyback ride?”

“Wha—”

“Look,Daddy!” Duncan spoke up, having long gone back to playing with Dogmeat on therug. He was now climbing over Dogmeat’s back while the dog not only suffered itpatiently, but even seemed to enjoy it. And just as RJ moved to get him to stopin fears that he’d get hurt, Duncan continued delightedly: “And Mama said Doggylikes me!”

Thatstopped RJ dead in his tracks. Sole, too. Duncan had never called her thatbefore. RJ turned to her slowly with an odd expression. She didn’t know what tomake of it. Was he angry? Did he think she made Duncan say it? She shivered. Orwas he just in shock that after barely a month, his little boy was already…? Hewent over to the kitchen table, stiffly, sat down… and just started crying.Sole froze. Duncan didn’t notice there was anything wrong, thankfully, so whenshe could move again, Sole grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to thebedroom, saying, “Let’s go get you changed out of those, you’re freezing.”

It wasn’tthat she wasn’t shaken, especially with how Duncan just threw it in there, intoa normal sentence, like it was the most regular thing in the world. And thetruth was, he had never called her anything before, really. Somehow, thatfive-year-old kid managed to navigate every conversation in a way that allowedhim to avoid calling her anything else than ‘you’. So this did feel like a.50-caliber bullet to the chest.

But RJ wasin such state that all of that now faded away. He slumped to the edge of thebed like he got deflated, and immediately hid his face in his hands. Solekneeled on the floor next to him and could see tears glistening between his fingers. She rubbed his knee, but couldn’tfind any words to say. Only after a long while filled only with RJ’s stifledsobs and the quiet sounds of Duncan’s play coming from the other room did Solemanage to let out a sad sigh and whisper, “RJ…”

“I’m sosorry…!” he whimpered, barely keeping his voice down as he collapsed entirelyso that Sole had to embrace him and prop him up on her shoulder, or he would’vefallen off the bed.

“No, no…”she said, but he didn’t seem to be listening anymore. He just went on.

“Oh, God… Ijust never expected him to…” He held on to her for dear life, and thedesperation and pain behind his cries made her tear up, too. There was somethingsqueezing her throat already. “It’s been years… Years… And I stopped believingI’d ever hear him use that word again… And the first time I do, I think, ‘no,it’s not her’. Oh, God, Sole, I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be,RJ,” she could barely hold her own tears back. Something about the way he criedresonated deep within her and she couldn’t help herself. “I’m not trying tofill Lucy’s shoes. I don’t expect you to forget about her, I know you stilllove her.”

RJ wassilent for a longer while, clearly trying to regain his composure, before hefinally pulled away and looked her in the eye. He seemed calm, but his eyesbetrayed the freshly opened wounds he suffered from. “I do. But I love you,too. And I didn’t like feeling like that—angry, at my little boy. It wasn’t hisfault. He probably doesn’t remember Lucy at all…” His voice broke again, andSole had to blink away her tears. “It’s not his fault. It just… hurt, you know?Like she was being erased and… I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry, Sole.”

“You don’thave to apologize, babe. I get it.”

Hesniffled. “…I know. You always do, don’t you?” He kissed her forehead, his handon the back of her neck as he pressed his lips against her skin. He then puthis cheeks to hers and stayed like that for a while. “I still remember it, likeit was just last week. Lucy was playing with him, holding him on his lap, andwe talked about something… the crops, I think? And suddenly, that little boyraised a toy in his hand and just said, ‘Mama!’… It was the first word he eversaid.”

Sole feltwhat was left of her tormented heart drop to the bottom of her stomach. “I’msorry,” she said. RJ looked at her in surprise, so she explained, “I feel likeI took that away from you.”

“No.” Hisvoice was suddenly adamant, as if seeing her crying, in pain, made him switchinto protector mode again. “No, you gave my son a home. If he’s able to acceptyou as his mother…”—even as he said that, his voice trembled, “I should behappy. It’s not your fault, and definitely not his, that I can’t handle moving on.”

“You’redoing just fine,” she reassured him with a smile. “As long as we love eachother, we’ll figure everything else out.” He nodded, but she could clearly seeshe made him emotional again. She wiped her face, completely covered in tearsshe didn’t even feel. “Wow,” she mumbled, “we are a pair of tragic messes.” RJlaughed softly, but only held on to her hand as she stood up. “Come on,sweetie. You promised to cook.”

And thatfinally tore a real, honest chuckle from his throat; Sole beamed up alongsidehim. They went back to the kitchen, hand in hand, but before she managed to puthim at the pots, RJ hurried to the duffel bag he had left near the door.

“Hey,Duncan,” he said, “do you wanna see your present?”

The boyjumped up from the rug, letting out something that only vaguely resembled avery loud ‘YES!’. He rushed to the table just as RJ was putting the duffel bagthere and asked, “Is that why you were gone for so long?”

“Yeah,buddy. Had to go get the best for you.” And with that, RJ reached into the bagand pulled out… a BB gun. Sole blinked in surprise. She didn’t expect him to dothat sort of thing, not after all those times when he said he didn’t wantDuncan to have the same life he did, full of violence and blood. But thenagain, was there really any other life to be made in the Commonwealth?

“I know, Iknow,” he said, seeing Sole’s surprised gaze. “But he needs to learn to protecthimself, and the earlier, the better, right? Besides, I mean, it’s just a BBgun, it’s not like he’s going to turn into me…”

Duncan,after doing a round around he house holding the small rifle like a commando,ran back and stood at the table, looking somewhat distraught. Sole took amoment to admire the worksmaship of the weapon. Even if it was just a glorified toy, the barrel was sleek black and the buttpolished to a shine, and there was something special in the way it was built.It must’ve been a unique. And she had no doubts RJ cleaned and oiled it atleast three times on his way back.

“Isanything wrong, love?” she asked noticing Duncan didn’t really know how tostart.

“No, Imean, I really like it, but…” He sucked his lips in, then pouted again. “I wanta scope, too.”

RJ glaredat him, like he wanted to say, ‘NO, YOU DON’T’, but before he could, Sole cautiouslyasked, “Why?”

“’Cause Iwanna be just like Daddy when he shoots.”

Solestifled a laugh, which was an especially difficult task, given RJ’s surprised,almost betrayed face in front of her. “Sure, Duncan,” she said. “We’ll figuresomething out tomorrow, how about that? And for now, just go and play with it,learn how it feels. Okay?” And as Duncan shuffled away, she looked back at RJ.“I think you may have miscalculated a bit, love.”

“Thatlittle…” He shook his head. “You do know it makes no sense, though.”

“Of course,but what harm could it be? I’ll make him a detachable short scope. Let him havefun with it, even if the gun’s range isn’t nearly enough.”

RJ sighedand only then stopped making faces in disbelief. He threw her another odd look,but this time it was one of the good kind. “I have something for you, too,actually,” he said, but before Sole could protest, he added, “it’s not much,don’t freak out. Just a memento, I suppose.” And then he took out a necklacefashioned out of an old silver chain and a rifle round, and placed it in herhand.

“What’sthis?” she asked, feeling like an idiot. RJ said it was a memento, so sheprobably should recognize it from somewhere, but she just couldn’t place it.But he didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s thefirst round I shot after taking up with you. We encountered some raiders on theway to Diamond City? You were taking cover in front of me, and just as I wastaking aim, you stood up with those brass balls of yours and just went at ‘em.Distracted me so much I completely missed. I picked it up afterwards—at first,I was supposed to use it again, but then it just sort of traveled with me andnever found a way into my rifle. So…”

“It’sperfect,” she said, “I love it. Can you…?”

Evenfastening the necklace on her, RJ couldn’t help but make excuses. “I know it’snot much, but…”

“Hey.” Sheturned around and put her arms around his neck again. “It doesn’t matter, love.You already gave me the best Christmas gift I could ever dream of: a family.”

Piper

Solepromptly put it out of her mind—there was a lot to do. She woke Piper with akiss, the kind that made her murmur and stretch, and then put her arms aroundSole’s shoulders and pull her in for continuance. Her house in Diamond Citywasn’t big, but with Sole only dropping by from time to time when she managedto steal away from her other duties, it was more than enough. And even thoughit was insanely early for both of them, they already heard Nat bustling arounddownstairs.

“Wow,” Solesaid. “She got excited for Christmas.”

“Nat?Never,” Piper replied, getting out bed and rushing down the stairs, still onlyin her shirt and shorts. Sole took a moment to appreciate her legs and the waythe oufit showed off certain parts of her, before finally getting dressedherself and following her.

“MerryChristmas!” Nat, wearing an apron, shouted at their sight way more joyfullythan Sole had ever heard her speak. She didn’t even put down the ladle when shehugged them both warmly, and then went back to cooking. Piper looked like she’dbeen hit by lightning.

“What isgoing on?” she whispered to Sole as they went back upstairs to get dressed.“Did the Institute take her.”

“Stop it,”Sole laughed. “It’s just the holiday cheer.”

“No,seriously, Blue… I’ve never seen her act like this.”

“Trust me,she’s just possessed by Christmas spirit.” Piper didn’t seem entirelyconvicted, but Sole couldn’t really offer her anything else. She still hadn’ttold her she’d decided to take over the Institute in order to make it betterfor the people of the Commonwealth. She had no idea how Piper would react. Soeven though she knew firsthand Nat was not swapped and that, in fact, no onewould get swapped for a synth ever again, she wasn’t going to tell her that onChristmas morning. “Look, if she still acts like this after the holidays, then you’ll have a reason to be worried.For now, just enjoy it. Come on, she’s cooking for us.”

“Yeah,that’s what worries me the most,” Piper mumbled. “But okay. I’ll put aside mymistrustful journalist nature aside… just for today.”

“Goodgirl,” Sole teased and kissed her again. “Now, come on, I wanna give you yourgift.”

“No!” Piperjumped in immediately. “Me first!” After which, she darted back downstairs withSole close at her heels.

“Really,you should probably see what I got f—” She didn’t finish as Piper pushed a boxup to her face like a little excited girl. It was flat, but quite big, with abig blue bow around it. “Okay…” Sole said as her brow raised, and Piperimmediately got all flustered and adorable.

“O-Okay,maybe I got a little bit too… But I just… Oh, just open it.”

So Sole didand inside she found a… a scrapbook? Well, it was definitely hand-made, withpages glued to the leather-bound cover with wonderglue, probably, and even thecover seemed to be taken from some other book. But it didn’t matter, becausewhen Sole opened it, she found pages and pages and pages of photos of her and Piper, and even some of the others,all from the time they spent traveling together. There was her conversationwith Nick, and here how she went to the mayor’s office, and on the next pagewere even photos of her breaking into Kellogg’s old house… But somehow, ‘thisreporter’ managed to keep herself from captioning every single one, insteadsettling for just a few sarcastic remarks here and there, like the one thatsaid “Justice served hot” at the photo of her going at some raiders with aflamer. Sole felt like she was about to burst out laughing, but instead shejust stood there in awe.

“You… Youwere taking photos the entire time?” she stuttered out, then raised her gaze tolook at Piper’s flustered face.

“Yeah, Imean… Didn’t you ever notice?”

“I… I don’tknow, I guess I didn’t. I mean, I saw you photographing everything else, justnot… me.” She went back to flipping through the pages. Here was their time atCovenant… There, their trip to Vault 81… And at the very end, on the last page,was only one photo—the one they’d made together at the beginning of theirrelationship, here in Diamond City, laying in Piper’s bed as Sole kissed hercheek and Piper couldn’t help but blush and laugh. And the caption said only, “HowI knew”. Sole felt tears pricking at her eyelids.

“Thank you,Red,” she managed to push through her tightened throat.

“You’rewelcome, Blue.” Piper looked like she was about to burst into tears herself,but held herself bravely as she pulled Sole in for a hug. They just couldn’tstay away from each other, could they?, Sole thought, burying her face inPiper’s hair.

“Hey, youtwo lovebirds, how about some help here?” Nat suddenly shouted from the otherside of the room. “Do I have to do everything alone?!”

Piperpulled away from Sole, sniffled; wiped away a tear hanging from Sole’seyelashes; and then she chuckled and said, “Gotta love family, huh?”

Preston

By the timeshe managed to gather strength to get out of bed, the entire town was buzzingwith people gathering up near the tree at the round square. She got dressed andfollowed suit, only to see Preston helping the settlers up several ladders tohang decorations from the branches. She kinda liked him in a position ofleadership. There was just something… something else to the way he distributed tasks among everyone, keeping thembusy, until the entire town worked together to make the most of this Christmas.It honestly warmed Sole’s heart as she walked towards them and people greetedher with happy voices and ‘Merry Christmas’es and ‘good to see you’s.

“Hello,General,” Preston said a bit sheepishly as she approached, even though his facewas sporting a wide grin.

“Hello, myFirst Officer,” she replied cheekily. She could swear he blushed a little, butthankfully, with him, only she was able to tell. “You’re having fun,” she addedas she motioned to the people around.

“It’s reassuringto see people come together and forget about their troubles on a day like this.”He smiled softly. He was talking about the settlers, but he looked only at her.Then he turned his face to the sun as his gaze drifted away and he said,“Everyone’s so cheerful and carefree.”

“What aboutyou?” Sole put her hand on his cheek to turn his face back to her. She didn’teven notice when they’d moved closer to each other, to the point where it mightstart being really uncomfortable to everyone around. She didn’t really care.“How is it today?”

“Could bebetter,” he said, and she knew he meant it was awful. “I mean, last year…”

“I know,”she stopped him before he could fall into that abyss again. “I know.”

Prestonkissed her forehead, drawing comfort for having her close. Or at least that’swhat she thought, given that it was exactly what she was doing.

“I’m justglad we found each other,” he said.

“Me, too.”

They stayedlike that for another minute, linked in that intimate embrace, as everyonebustled around them, shouting and laughing. The sun falling on the decorationscovered the ground around them in colorful flashes.

“Come on,”Preston said eventually, pulling away from her, though with clear effort. “Iwant to give you your present.”

“Shouldn’tyou keep watch on your lemmings?”

He blinkedat her. “What’s a ‘lemming’?”

Solepaused, staring into the distance. “Nevermind,” she replied eventually. “Oldworld stuff. Lead on, then. Where did you hide it?”

“Like I’mgoing to tell you,” he smiled at her. “Where would I hide your future presentsthen? Just wait here.” He left her at the porch of their house as hedisappeared behind the one across the street, but then he was gone for so longshe couldn’t tell where he went anymore. Bastard.

And then henearly gave her a heart attack when he came up from behind her saying, “Well,what are you waiting for?” As soon as she was done shrieking, she slapped hisarm as he laughed. Oh, it was so nice to see that poor man laughing. “Come intothe house, love. It’s there on the counter.”

And whenSole looked, she saw a fully modified laser musket laid out in the kitchen,obviously custom made, repainted in blue and white, and with the Minutemen logolovingly engraved on the side. She picked it up gently and turned it in herhands, marveling at the handiwork.

“You saidyou didn’t like the muskets for how long it took to wind them up, so I figuredout how to make it automatic,” Preston said, coming up and embracing her frombehind. “Do you like it?”

“Huh.” Sheput it to her shoulder and let go a quick series of lasers through the openside door at the wreck of her old car that was still standing on the drivewayeven though she was supposed to break it down to pieces probably like twomonths ago. But, well, it turned to ash in a matter of seconds now, so… problemsolved? She threw Preston a glance over her shoulder just to see his perplexedface. Oops. Seems he didn’t expect her to just start shooting it right away. “Ilove it,” she said cheerfully, and bent herself awkwardly to pull him in for akiss. Preston shook his head leniently, but gave in to her and they spent thenext few minutes passionately making out in the middle of the living room asSole only tried not to drop her new gift on the floor.

“Now,”Preston said when they finally ran out of breath and had to pull away, “time toget back to our family, huh?”

[caramel-and-pine]

13 - Break and Trust

David has seen all kinds of emotions playing on Gwen’s face on the many years they’ve known each other. He’s seen varying degrees of frustration back at Camp Campbell, the despair without precedents on the morning they lost Max, the joy of finally getting a job in the area she wanted to work in. They have been together through thick and thin and not once has he seen such a convoluted expression on her face.

As David’s words sink in Gwen’s expression mutates. First, her eyes narrow in confusion just to slowly widen in surprise. Her mouth opens a little as if she is about to say something, but it snaps shut with a click. For about three seconds her eyebrows flutter, high and low, as she goes through shock and relief until a definitive emotion settles in.

Her face hardens and this expression David knows. It is betrayal. He’s seen it before, but never in such a raw and powerful state. Gwen stands up slowly, her face set in stone: eyes slightly narrowed, eyebrows tilted in an angry angle, lip tight. The tear tracks on her cheeks shine when the light reflects upon them but she doesn’t care enough to wipe them up. She turns her body to fully face David.

She practically telegraphs her next action. The twist on her waist and shoulders, the line of her spine extending to her arm. Her hand open and rigid. The strike comes fast but David has seen it coming, and he accepts it. He knows he deserves it and despite being able to defend himself from the hit he takes it.

Gwen’s hand makes a deafening noise as it connects with David’s face, turning it away from her with the force of the impact.

It stings badly, he feels heat surging to the surface of his cheek in the shape of Gwen’s hand. Tears well up in his eyes but he knows they are not from the physical pain. He keeps his eyes averted and breathes deeply to avoid spilling them.

“You found him?!” Gwen’s tone is accusatory now, her voice raw. “You fucking found him and you didn’t tell me? What the fuck, David? Were you so upset that I’ve given up that you decided to deny me this closure? I… I… what the fuck…?”

Gwen dissolves into tears once more. She sobs loudly and her shoulders shake with each ragged breath she takes. Her face is full of rightful anger and David wants to hold her but he can’t face her yet, his own tears soaking his cheeks now. She deserves this moment of rage as much as he deserves to be the target of said anger.

“I am sorry, Gwen,” he says in a small voice. “It hurt me not to tell you, but he asked me. He begged me not to tell you yet. I am sorry.”

David is surprised when Gwen leaps forward and burrows in his chest. She is still crying but her little hiccups hide different words now.

“He is alive, he is well, right? You’ve talked to him? Please, David, I’ve shared this burden with you for so long, give me some peace now. Please.”

David holds her tightly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“Yes, I’ve talked to him. We’ve met a few times, actually,” he tells her in a garbled voice. “He is a man now, Gwen. An adult, do you believe it? He’s still a shorty, though.”

Gwen laughs at this and pulls away a little. Her face is a mess of tears, blotchy and wet, but a small smile is forming and David is glad for it.

“What the fuck,” she says but her tone is light. “How? Where? Please…”

David shifts a little so Gwen can sit back on her chair and he moves around to sit on his own before speaking again. She wipes her face on the napkin and takes a sip of the wine to calm down. When she is once again composed she turns her full attention to him.

“Now you’ve dropped the biggest bomb go ahead and tell me everything, please,” she asks with a trace of command in her voice. He owes this to her and she knows it, and she will use it to her advantage. “And why didn’t he want me to know about him? Does he… hate me?”

“Oh, no, he doesn’t!” David shakes his hands in a placating manner. “He doesn’t hate you, Gwen. He, well, he is in a situation… He… you see…”

“David!” She calls with an authoritative voice. “You’re stalling, what is the problem?”

“Do you remember the last time we went out?” David opts for a less direct approach. Gwen raises her eyebrow but nods an affirmative anyway. “So, after you left I stayed a little more and the night performance started and in the end, they were introducing the dancers and…” David takes a deep breath, “Max was one of them.”

Gwen’s face is a perfect blank canvas for what feels like hours.

“He what?” She squeaks the question, a mix of shock and horror and a bit of amusement on her face.

“He was one of the dancers, he works at that strip club,” David’s face burns as he tells her. “I met him for the first time that night and we talked and when I said you were there too he panicked a little. When I said you weren’t there anymore and that you hadn’t seen him yet he asked me not to tell you. I think he was afraid of your reaction, or something like this.”

“Oh, that little shit,” Gwen says all too fondly. “Did he really think I would care about his dancing after we’ve spent ten years looking for him?”

David rubs the back of his neck. “Well, it is not only dancing,” he says averting his eyes. “He works there. He strips, and receives clients,” David’s intonation is enough to cue Gwen on what he means. She frowns for a moment.

“Oh, this is… unexpected.”

“Yes,” David agrees weakly. “And you know him, he doesn’t like showing weakness or fragility and this is a very delicate situation. He couldn’t deny it to me since I saw him there first hand, but I guess he wanted to avoid exposing himself even more by telling you.”

Gwen looks down at her plate. The food isn’t hot anymore but she is starving after work so she takes another bite despite it being cold. She chews slowly, considering David’s words in her mind.

“Did you meet him outside that club?”

“Yeah,” David squeaks in reply, face quickly turning red. He might have spilled the beans about finding Max but he definitely won't tell her about what kind of relationship they've been building on those few weeks. Gwen raises an eyebrow at him.

“And how was it?”

“Good,” David replies all too fast. “It was good. We had lunch together and talked a lot. He has a sister and shares an apartment with a nice girl named Christine.”

“Is she his girlfriend?”

“No, he said they tried but it didn’t work out so they decided to continue as friends.”

They share a smile, both deeply familiar with this situation.

“So he has friends,” Gwen says with a satisfied smile.

“At least one, yes,” David says. “Well, two I guess,” he adds pensively. “I think I am his friend now too.”

Gwen smiles fondly. “And it only took you ten years and a kidnapping of sorts.”

“Worth it,” David says softly, his heart warming up at the memory of sharing the morning with Max after their night together.

“Did you get to meet his sister too?” Gwen asks.

“No, she studies in a Catholic school for girls,” David explains. “Max enrolled her there himself. He said he wants to give her better opportunities than the ones he had.”

Gwen whistles. “Wow, he did grow up, hun?”

“He did,” David’s expression melts into something very warm and soft. “He is mature and generous and kind, the way I’ve always known he could be. He is still terrible, though,” he adds with a little eye roll.

“I hope I can meet him one day too,” Gwen says, wiping the last remnants of tears from her face.

***

Telling Gwen about Max is simultaneously the best and the worst thing David’s ever done. If on one hand he feels lighter because now he knows Gwen is at peace; on the other his stomach is a continuous pit of dread as he considers Max’s possible reactions to this. After dinner Gwen promised not to try to contact Max on her own, so David is somewhat calm, confident that he’ll figure out how to talk to Max about it.

The rest of the week goes on a rush. David is busy with some projects, he is spending a lot of time working on his portfolio, and he is exchanging a lot of emails with magazines editors to improve his network. All in all, he doesn’t have as much free time as he used to but working gives him purpose and energy so he does it happily. The only downside is that it is Saturday night and he can’t go to The Fruit Bowl to see Max.

He misses Max, and the realization is odd. He is used to having a Max shaped hole in his heart after those ten years looking for him, but it is different now. Before, this hole was filled with worries and terrible fantasies; now it is full of soft thoughts and care and desire. It is oddly titillating and pretty distracting but he manages to keep it in check in order to focus on his work.

David is watching the loading icon on his screen when his phone rings. It is a message from Max asking him if he’d go to the bar that night. With a little sad frown, David replies that he doesn’t have time and that he probably wouldn’t be able to go there on the whole weekend. A few seconds later a new message arrives.

From: Max maybe this will change ur mind? *attached file*

David sees the blurry preview of the photo and his mouth already starts to water. He taps the icon on the screen and watches it loading full of expectative. When the full image loads his breath hitches a little and heat surges to his face.

It is a selfie taken in the full-length mirror in the bathroom at The Fruit Bowl. Max stands in front of it with a wide stance, powerful and confident. His usual bad boy smirk in place as he stares at the mirror from over the lenses of sunglasses. He is wearing ridiculously tight white pants and his black leather jacket over his exposed chest. David makes a little helpless noise when he sees the spiky choker around his neck.

He loses sense of time staring at the photo but another ring from his phone brings him back to reality.

From: Max did u like it? christine chose it for this night’s performance

To: Max She has good taste

From: Max loser *eye roll emoji*

David stares at the phone with a smile. Loser seems to be a term of endearment on Max’s personal language. At least that’s what David likes to think, considering just how frequently Max calls him that.

To: Max You’re very handsome But I am very busy

To: Max *sad emoji*

From: Max rly? i was expecting to see u this weekend

From: Max i kinda miss u

David’s face opens in a wide smile, it reaches his eyes and makes his entire expression glow. His heart once again flutters pathetically and he looks at the clock as he tries to figure out how to make some extra time to go to the bar meet Max. Unfortunately, he just can’t find these elusive moments so he just sighs frustratedly before writing his reply.

To: Max I am sorry *sad emoji* Can we have lunch again next week?

After a beat he composes a second message:

To: Max I miss you, too

From: Max monday is my day off but u have to go w/ me to the laundromat

From: Max i promised chris id do the laundry *frown emoji*

To: Max Is 1 pm good?

From: Max sure

To: Max So, it is a date?

From: Max *attached file*

David clicks the icon in the speed of light. It is another selfie, but this time directly from the front camera and not on the mirror. The light is bad but David clearly sees a blush on Max’s cheeks as he half covers his face and his smile. There is a black stripe across the image with a white text in capital letters in it: YES U LOSER.

From: David *pine tree* *attached file*

Max’s face is still burning when he opens David’s photo. What is happening to him? Since when is he mushy and silly like this? He’s sent his fair share of nudes and provocative pictures to previous partners but never something as… sweet as this. David brings something different in him, something soft and good. Max is not used to the feeling but he likes it, and he likes the idea of experiencing it more often.

When David’s image opens up Max unconsciously coos at it. It is David with his lips pursed in a kiss, eyes shut tight and eyebrows lightly furrowed. It is painfully adorable and Max genuinely considers deleting it because he knows otherwise he will spend hours looking at it every day. There is a text on a black stripe, too: See you Monday!!! *kiss emoji*

Max saves the image as David’s profile picture.

***

“Hi, David, is everything right for today?” Max’s voice sounds strange on the phone, a bit more shrilly almost like it used to be when he was young.

“Hi, Max,” David can’t help the smile as he speaks. “Yes, it is. Is everything okay for you?”

A pause, then Max laughs a little airy laugh.

“Yes, it is just that last time I didn’t confirm and you were worried,” he trails off. “I thought it would be good to call today.”

“Oh, Max,” David’s smile turns softer. “Thank you for calling, I know you don’t like phone calls all that much.”

Max clicks his tongue. “Yeah… I’ll send you the address of the laundromat when I arrive there, ok? I don’t know it by heart,” he explains.

“It is okay, I will wait,” a beat of silence. “I’m really happy to meet you again,” David says in a very low, timid, voice.

“Me too,” Max’s reply is even lower. “See you in a while,” he says with more conviction and turns off the phone as soon as David says bye.

It is a little before noon when Max calls, and David is eating lunch by himself in his small kitchen. Suddenly, the apprehension of seeing Max returns. He knows he must tell Max about Gwen, it is only fair; but he doesn’t know how to approach the subject. He is deeply afraid that Max will get so angry at him that he will vanish again. This time for good.

David doesn’t want to lie or hide things from Max, but the idea of losing him again is even more painful. In those few weeks, he has grown used to the idea of the young man being part of his life, in a way no one else ever could. Max has been a constant, a painful one, and now he has the chance to turn ten years of pain into something good. He doesn’t want to lose it.

A sour taste settles on the back of David’s mouth. He finishes his food forcefully, the pleasure of the meal gone under the weight of his worries. Tell or not? Lie or trust? Maybe now that he and Max are in such good terms, to say the least, the young man will be more open to Gwen. Maybe David is just overthinking this and ruining his appetite for naught.

As he cleans the kitchen this new perspective grows stronger. Max likes him, on some level for sure, so he might accept this. Maybe they will discuss a little, and David is ready to apologize as much as he needs and offer any kind of compensation Max deems necessary. It will work out fine, he tells himself with much more confidence than he actually feels.

David’s phone rings with an incoming message when he is in the shower, it is the location of the laundromat. Max sent it on Whatsapp and followed it with a selfie of him carrying a big bag of clothes and frowning. David smiles and replies with a message saying he is on his way. Luckily the traffic is good and it is 1 pm sharp when he arrives at the place.

The laundromat is small, only a handful of washing machines and dryers lining up the wall, and other than he and Max only a teenage girl is there. The girl is using headphones and sitting on one of the machines while reading a magazine and completely ignoring both men.

When David enters the place Max waves at him with a satisfied smile. David approaches casually, debating whether it was appropriate to kiss Max or no. Their last farewell had been very affectionate and the texting was playful and intimate, but he doesn’t want to pressure or force things. His internal struggle is put to rest when Max goes on his tiptoes and softly kisses him on the lips.

“Hi,” Max greets him with a coy smile. “You are early.”

“In fact, I’m right on time,” David says with a soft expression. “The traffic was good.”

“Good,” Max steps back and turns his attention at the pile of dirty laundry at his feet. “Christine usually does this but she is busy with her commissions and I want to help her,” Max says eyeing the clothes with suspicion. “I don’t have any idea about what is going on here. She gave me a lot of instructions and I am afraid if I just throw everything on the machine at once she will know it and skin me.”

David laughs through his nose. “She will probably know if you do this,” he agrees. “She is very good with clothes after all.”

“She said something about colors and whites? And here I thought white was a color too,” he frowns and lightly kicks the pile on the floor.

“Don’t worry, I can help you,” David says already kneeling on the floor to put the white clothes in a separate pile. “The whites need hot water and usually take more time to wash, while the colors go with cold water and wash faster,” he explains.

Max hums, a neutral sound that just indicates that he is paying attention. Regardless, he kneels by David’s side and starts to separate the clothes with him. Once they have all the clothes sorted out David takes the white clothes to one of the machines and dumps them there. Max watches over his shoulder as he sets the machine to the right temperature and adds soap and softener to the correct places.

“Thanks, David,” Max says, rubbing the back of his neck. David can’t resist and does the same, running his hand on the shaved hair on Max’s nape. It is still soft and nice. Max shivers a little.

“So, how was your weekend?” David asks when Max sits up on the machine. David leans on the dryer beside it and Max is just high enough to rest his face on David’s shoulder like this.

“Tiresome,” Max says. “Chris is a nasty dance teacher, she is super excited with the new performance. Sadly, I and the other guys are paying for it.”

“Other guys?” David tilts his head a little.

“Yeah, Chris and I are not the only performers at the bar,” Max says. “I thought you had seen them on that first night.”

Oh yeah, now David remembers them vaguely. A group of four or five men had danced with Christine on that first night; Max was one of them but David has no idea about the others. Much of that first night has become a blur in David’s memory. The shock of finding Max was strong and their first interaction wasn’t very good. David remembers Gwen, and the distress from earlier rises again.

“Oh, yeah, I remember,” he says with a squeaky voice. His spine goes rigid and too straight, his shoulders tense and Max, whose head is resting on it, notices immediately.

“Are you okay?” Max asks with a deep frown.

“Ah, yes, I okay,” David says without much coherency.

Max leans away and looks at him directly on the eyes. “You look kinda pale? I mean, more than normal?”

“I just… Say, do you remember that Gwen was the one who took me to the bar on that first night?”

The apparent change of topic takes Max by surprise. He furrows his eyebrows a little but nods anyway. “Yeah, what of it?”

“Don’t you think it is curious that we’ve only met again because of her?”

“I still think it is curious that Gwen would be in a place like the Bowl,” he shrugs. “But she does she, I guess.”

“Well, she likes trying new places,” David says, his voice still strained, a forced cheer on it that sounds particularly bad on him. “She is very open-minded, you know? And she always tries to see from other people’s perspectives, and to understand the other side of the story…”

“Why are you saying this?” Max’s voice is full of suspicion.

“Because she is a good person,” David’s face twists in a mix of shame and pain, all pretense of cheerfulness gone. “And she cares about you and deserves to meet you…”

Max is staring at him with a deep frown and David shuts up with a choked sound. They look at each other for a long moment, the noise of the washing machine working is deafening on the still air. Max’s face is set in stone, eyes narrow and lips tight. After a long moment, David can’t sustain his stare anymore; he turns his face a little and that’s when Max’s face crumbles.

“You’ve already told her,” Max says slowly, disbelief plain on his face. “It asked you not to and you did.”

“Max, I am so sorry!” David says quickly, he turns around so he can stay right in front of the younger man. “I am so, so sorry but she was crying and I despaired and I told her.”

“What the fuck, David?!” Max hops of the machine and stares at David with so much hurt and hatred in his eyes that David feels very small despite the many inches he has over Max. “You didn’t have this right! I thought you liked me, I thought you respected me!”

“I do! I do like you a lot, and I respect you but it was a difficult situation,” David explains, tears silently welling up in his eyes. “She is dealing with a missing child on her work and she was devastated and it slipped. I swear I didn’t plan on telling her, it was an accident!”

Max’s own eyes seem to shine with tears but his entire face is completely frozen in a pained frown.

“Go away, David,” he says with simplicity.

“Please, Max, talk to me,” David begs, his lip quivering as he tries to hold back tears. “Please, let me explain.”

“David, we are in a public place,” Max says with a forced calm that makes all his muscles tense. “I don’t want to make a scene because Christine and I need to come to this fucking place every week and I don’t want to make a bad reputation here.”

“So come to my house later,” David begs. “Let’s talk when we’re calmer. I can make dinner and we can figure…”

“No,” Max interrupts him with such emphasis that the girl sitting on the other side of the room looks up from her magazine to them. “Go away now. I don’t want to see you again.”

“Please…”

Max turns his back to David, eyes obstinately fixed on the opposite wall. David means to touch him, to turn his around and hug him and beg for forgiveness, but he doesn’t. He might have betrayed Max’s trust but he cares and respects him and he won’t touch the young man when he clearly wants David gone.

“I am sorry,” he says softly. “I know what I did was wrong and I am so, so sorry. If you ever forgive me… I… I was happy to have you again in my life and I will always want you here. So, if you think there is a chance…”

“David!” Max’s voice is garbled, and he sniffs a little as he speaks through his tears. “Go away, please.”

Check this chapter on AO3.

[imaginethatsj]

Daniel Andre Tande imagine - Spontaneous

Draft: Part two to the imagine where you are very good friends and who might become something more.

The time passed by so quickly so the dinner that Daniel invited me was tomorrow. During the week I went to the stores and found completely nothing that I liked. I was very picky with everything I buy so when I found nothing I did what I always do. I went online. I was used to shopping online since I ordered my prom dress online and it fit perfectly. I went to various sites looking for a dress that I could wear on other occasions also and not just this time. So I was looking for something elegant but casual at the same time. And I found it. It was a simple lace dress that I loved right away. It was mid-thigh dress so I could show off my legs. Not that I had supermodel legs but I was proud of the way they looked since in the past I had a few problems with self-confidence. And I was working out now and then so I had a bit of definition in my legs. Since the dress had some kind of choker I didn’t need the necklace. Daniel told me he was going being dressed in black and white so I could add a bit of colour to my outfit. I added simple pointed court nude high heels that I ordered online on the same site. So it was the night before and Daniel went for drinks with his friends and I stayed in with his sister and I did everything girls do before similar events. Shaving my legs, doing a hair mask with coconut oil, then washing my hair, doing a face mask and doing my nails. We combined movie night and pamper night into one. I was all ready to go to sleep since it was almost 1 in the morning and when I was heading to the guest room I was staying in, Daniel came home. He wanted to show me a trailer to the film he was about to watch. “Daniel go to bed, it’s already 1 in the morning and during the season you were tucked in bed at 11 PM. What happened to you?” You laughed but he could sense that you were pretty tired.  “(Y/N) I am not sleepy enough to go to bed. Come on, watch it for a few minutes and then you can go to bed.” – “Okay, you win. But if I’m tired tomorrow and have bags under my eyes it’s your fault.” Daniel laughed and nodded. He laid down on his bed and left a lot of space on one side of the bed. Then he motioned to me that I should join him. “I’m fine here, it’s okay, If I lay down Daniel I will fall asleep, I’m telling you.” Then he even pulled the blanket up insisting I join him. With so much though I slowly sat up already thinking what a bad idea is this. “Thank you, because I was slowly starting to get cold” Daniel joked with made me smile for a second and then the doubts returned. We have shared a bed in the past but that was when he was in hotels and he had double bed but now the bed was much smaller and we were so close together. I was managing to keep my eyes open for a good fifteen minutes but then I gave in and closed them just for a minute. And then the minutes passed by and when I opened them again the room was bright. I found Daniels phone on the night stand and just checked the time. Shit. It was already past 9 in the morning and I was still not fully awake. When I wanted to get up an arm stopped me. Then I looked around and pulled the blanked up and saw an arm around my torso and things got bad. I slowly tried to remove Daniels arm but he only pulled me closer to him. “What’re you doing?” he said in his groggy morning voice. “Getting out. It’s nine o’clock already.” – “So what, just stay for a minute more please.” – “Whyyy…” – “Because I said so.” I stayed still and if I was in bed still I closed my eyes for a moment and managed to fall back to sleep. The next thing I heard was someone laughing and talking loudly. “Mum, Daniel brought home some girl!”. Door closed and someone hurried down the stairs. That was the last thing you heard. I slowly opened my eyes and slowly shaken Daniel making him open eyes as well. “What’s going on?” he asked again but his voice wasn’t as groggy as before. “We have to get up, Ida thinks you brought a girl home.” I laughed and yawned at the same time. This time he didn’t protest when I was removing his arm and made it a lot easier. I went to my room and changed out of my pyjamas into jeggings, t-shirt and a jumper since it was quite a cold morning. I slowly walked down the stairs into living rooms where Ida was already watching television. “Good morning” I tried to make my voice as normal as it can get. “Good morning, you slept quiet late today haven’t you” she joked. “I guess so, I went to sleep pretty late.” A few minutes later Daniel came downstairs and his sister didn’t even greet his and straight went on to ask him who is the girl. For a moment he was confused but then Ida asked again. “Who was the girl sleeping in your bed brother?” She was having so much fun, she loved doing this. “Oh, yeah, right. It was (Y/N).” Her eyes got a bit bigger and her gaze concentrated on me and she was asking me a million and one questions just with her stare. “He insisted I watch a film with him but I was so tired and sleepy that I fell asleep. That’s it.” – “oh so you two aren’t hiding a relationship and were just laying on the bed, under a blanket and peacefully watching a film.” – “Yes, that’s how it went.” – “Okay, I still don’t believe you but I’ll give up. For now.” We both laughed and started to talk about the program on the television and in the meantime Daniel joined us and sat beside me, which made his sister wink at me. I tried to ignore it and act like nothing is happened. During the day I got several funny looks from Ida but I got used to them. The dinner was at 7 PM so I started to get ready around 3 in the afternoon since we were leaving at 5. They were hosting this dinner to mainly express their gratitude for everything these athletes achieved this past season.

After taking a shower I began to do my makeup. I decided to go golden on the eyes and then nude lips since I am wearing nude high heels. I put the normal amount of foundation and then a bit of contouring and that was pretty much it. For the occasion I decided to put my hair up into a high and a bit messy ponytail.  I think it goes very well with the dress since it is a bit high neck. I was ready half an hour early so I grabbed my shoes, a little clutch that I managed to find here in the stores and headed to the living room to wait for Daniel. His mum was helping him get the tie the right way. Men always have problems with their ties. “I’m ready Daniel!” I said a bit louder so he could hear me. “I will be ready in a minute, just wait! He shouted back and in a couple more minutes he came out full dressed just looking for his shoes. “Wow (Y/N) you look amazing, gorgeous!” He was looking at me like he was shocked to see me like this. I got a bit shy and quickly thanked him and asked him if he has everything. “Yes, I’m ready just have to put on those shoes.” He looked good in formal clothes. Almost too god if you ask me. After him his mum came out of his room and was just giving me compliments one after another “(Y/N), you look so amazing, beautiful. How come you don’t have a boyfriend. I can’t understand how a beautiful girl, inside and out doesn’t have a boyfriend.” I could hear Daniels laugh from the room he was in. “I don’t know but somehow I am single. And thank you.” I smiled to her since I didn’t know how to answer her. “So Daniel, when are you bringing this gorgeous lady home?” She was acting like she is my mother and he is a young boy taking me to the prom. “Tomorrow mum. Because it will be too late tonight to drive home and we will probably be too tired to drive. I booked a hotel room for a night don’t worry.” “You booked a hotel room?” I was surprised. That was new information to me. And it made me nervous even more. “That’s good thinking. Good idea. Well, have fun and be careful on the road.” I put on my coat, gathered my things and we left the house. “You didn’t tell me you booked a hotel room.” – “Yeah I did, not long ago though, 3 days maybe. Do you mind?” -  ”No, it’s okay, great idea I just didn’t expect it. How much do I owe you?” You asked even though you knew what his answer would be. “Don’t be silly. Like I ever allow you to pay anything.” – “I know but there is nothing wrong with asking is it” we laughed. The rest of the ride was just boring old stuff. Singing songs and just him trying to focus on the road and me trying to calm down the nerves that were slowly building up in my head. It was the first event that Daniel invited me to that is more formal. He normally invited me to competitions where I am dressed completely different. And it feels like Daniel is also seeing me in a different way if I can say so. Since we drove away from the house he became quiet and different than what he usually is. And it’s not the nerves before an event because normally he is very at ease even before competitions so this event shouldn’t cause him any trouble. During the ride I looked at Daniel many times hoping he didn’t notice wanting to start a conversation but every time I lost myself in my thought that I shouldn’t have. He was beautiful. Inside and outside. His facial features were strongly defined which made a lot of people think he is too skinny. I mean he is a ski jumper after all but that’s just how he is. I liked that about him, noticeable cheekbones and strong jaw. After looking at him for too long I looked out of my window and tried to put my thought about Daniel aside. But he somehow crept in again. We would be staying in a hotel room tonight. I don’t know why I feel nervous about this since we shared a bed together before. And I didn’t worry as much then as I am today.

We arrived to the hotel we were staying in and checked so we didn’t need to worry about that when we’ll get back. After that we headed to the dinner where they had like a mini red carpet where attendants could pose for a picture. I was making my way to the entrance but Daniel pulled me to the mentioned improvised red carpet. “What are you doing?” I panicked. “Just want a picture with my beautiful date that I have tonight by my side.” – “Daniel I don’t know-“  – “Let loose sweetheart” By the time I managed to get the right answer we were already blinded by the flashes and Daniel pulled me gently by his side and he whispered in my ear “I just have to show you off. I will make it up to you later.” He made me smile and I relaxed a bit knowing he is back to his jokey self. We stood there for a couple more seconds and then headed finally to the main area. We met up with Johann, Celina, Anders and a lot more athletes and while I was talking with Celina, Daniel went to find his other teammates he didn’t see for a long time. “You look amazing (Y/N), I don’t know how Daniel can manage to be around you and just not lose his mind. Did he tell you yet how beautiful you are?” – “Thank you, you look stunning as well. And yes, he did. So did his mom.” We had a quick chat before we were hurried to take our seats by our table. I was seated beside Daniel and a few other people. The food was delicious and the program that the association has prepared but unfortunately I didn’t understand one bit since I don’t understand Norwegian. When I looked up from my table I saw the presenter heading our way and in a blink of an eye he was by Daniel’s side asking him questions when suddenly they turned to me but kept talking in Norwegian. I looked at them a bit lost but then they started in English. “I told him what a beautiful lady he has on his left. He must be very happy and especially proud to be next to am.. may I ask for your name?” Daniel turned to you again smiling from ear to ear showing off his million-dollar smile. “Yes you may. I’m (/Y).” You smiled to the presenter and looked back to Daniel who winked at you and you blushed. And in that moment you thanked god you had make up on.  Today was just a rollercoaster for your emotions. From nervousness to shyness to being confused. But right now I was happy. Happy that I decided to come here and share this moment with Daniel. The dinner came to an end and you were waiting for the elevator in the hotel Daniel booked a room. When you went in you leaned into Daniel since you were pretty tired after being in the high heels for the whole evening. “Have I told you yet you look good in a suit. This kind a suit, not ski gear.” – “No you haven’t. But I know I told you that you’re beautiful but I can say it again if you want to.” I don’t know it I was so tired I didn’t think what I was saying. “Say it again” I whispered to him. It took us quite a long time to get to the floor we were staying in since we stopped midway but nobody was there.  “You look beautiful. You always do.” He whispered back and squeezed me while saying it. We came to our floor and we easily found our room and both quietly got ready to go to bed. Him in his boxers and a t-shirt and me in leggings and an oversized t-shirt I sneaked from my older brother. We exchanged no word while getting ready but when we laid down he spoke out. “How was your night? Did you have fun?” – “I had an amazing time, really. Thank you for inviting me.” He turned on his side so he was facing me and I turned my head towards him. We had a bit of small talk and suddenly we were closer together than we were before. I could almost feel his breath on my skin. I hesitantly looked him in the eyes and he was already looking at me. Looking in my eyes like he was searching for an answer. And then he started to lean in and unknowingly I started leaning in too. When our lips touched my stomach clenched a little. It was soft, gentle and we were both very careful with our actions. Our lips parted but he pecked my lips once more before thanking me for going with him. I just nodded. “Good night Daniel�� – “Good night (Y/N)”.

I turned around so my back was turned against Daniels front. He put his arm around me like he did the night before. A few second after he softly spoke. “I was hoping we would end up like this. You being curled to my side. But I couldn’t plan this any better way. And neither could you. Or could you?” – “No I couldn’t. But I like it that way. Spontaneous.” I smiled to myself before drifting off to sleep.

[silverlightqueen]

Ruin My Life - Part 9

RML masterlist

(fratboy!Jimin - lots and lots of A N G ST & some fluff)

Summary - y/n, Mija, Chen and Jackson experience their most eventful night out yet ft. a certain jung hoseok👀 as well as angry Eunwoo, angry Jimin and shady jeongyeon

Word Count - 9.8k+

Warnings - no smut in this one, (but trust me, i’ll make up for that in the next chapter👀) um violence ig, mention of blood, discussion of alcohol, discussion of sex, bad language, that’s it ig

a/n: hey y’all ! I think this is gonna be the penultimate part which is like totally breaking my heart rn bc ruin my life is my baby :( lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist x

silverlightqueen masterlist

taglist💕: @keylowmonie @jennafromhome @btrombley13 @parkjammys @chubschimmine @flowingwiththewater​ @magicalpjm​ @sakurauchiha2018​ @kyrie1707​ @simonemothjensen​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @p-yoon @wtfcalumthomas​

‘y/n, I’m gonna beat your ass one of these days, hurry the fuck up!’ Mija screams from the living room. ‘Sorry, I’m coming!’ I shout back, rushing around my room like a madwoman, looking for my phone. As soon as I find it, in my makeup bag for some reason, I turn off my music and sprint (as best as one can in heels) into the living room. ‘I’m sorry, I really am. I had to do a last-minute outfit change because the heels that go with the other outfit are at the ASP house,’ I say, Jackson grinning as Mija rolls her eyes and Chen raises an eyebrow. ‘Jimin or Tae’s room?’ Jackson asks, and I swat at him, the boy laughing maniacally as he ducks away from my hand. ‘I prefer this outfit anyway. Makes your ass look bigger,’ Chen says, and I grin, doing a twirl. I’m dressed in ripped blue skinny jeans with a black fluffy bralet, black fluffy heels on my feet and some gold clips in my hair, a gold necklace with the pendant resting between my collarbones. I’m also wearing Jimin’s ring, and I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. It’s pretty and has sentimental value, and I’m so used to wearing it now that my hand feels wrong without it. 

‘Won’t you get cold when we leave?’ Mija asks, dressed more sensibly than I am, in a pair of black ripped jeans and long-sleeved nude bodysuit, black heels on her feet and a black denim jacket tied at her waist. ‘Chen’s wearing a jacket that matches my outfit perfectly,’ I say, Chen grinning as he pulls on his black bomber over his dark blue t-shirt and black jeans; a simple outfit, but effective, making him look handsome and classy. ‘Why can’t you wear jackets that match my outfit, so I don’t have to take one?’ Mija complains to Jackson, who’s dressed top-to-toe in Fendi; jeans, shirt, shoes, scarf, jewellery, hat, even socks (god knows how he affords it all, but damn, does he look good in it). ‘Because you’re an independent woman who doesn’t need to rely on her man for a jacket,’ Jackson says, Mija obviously liking his answer, the smug look on her face a clear indication, and Chen and I exchange an amused glance.

‘Anyway, I’ve literally sobered up from pre-drinks because it’s 1am, so we need to get to the bar asap. I wanna get our usual booth and get some more drinks down me,’ Mija says, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the door. Chen locks the apartment behind us, Mija and I giggling as we stumble down the corridor towards the lift, the boys following behind. We’re only waiting for a minute or two for the Uber to arrive, and the whole time, Mija and I do stupid tiktok dances, still slightly tipsy, Jackson and Chen watching us in amusement. The drive to the bar flies by as usual, Chen making conversation with the driver as the three of us take selfies and pictures of each other in the back of the car. When we arrive, Chen and Jackson flash their VIP cards like always, and again, we ignore the annoyed shouting from the people waiting in the queue as we enter the bar. It’s packed, the smell of alcohol strong on the air, the heavy bass of the song currently playing nearly shaking the floor. Jackson wraps an arm around Mija’s waist, pulling her close to his side, as Chen grabs hold of my hand, the four of us making our way over to our usual booth. The boys go to get drinks, eight Jager bombs and four vodka cokes.

‘The ASP boys are here,’ Mija says over the music, and I roll my eyes. ‘I’m not surprised. Are they with LSG?’ I ask, not wanting to look myself. ‘Yep. Nayeon’s all up JK. Ooh, Sana and Joon are dancing together. Oh, God, I think I can see Dahyun and Yoongi dancing together as well. Chungae’s here, dancing with Jeongyeon… and Jimin. Oh, my God, is that Tzuyu grinding on Tae? Damn, ASP and LSG are literally the university sluts,’ Mija says drily, and I supress a laugh. ‘Don’t slut shame,’ I say. ‘I’m not. I’m one myself, it’s totally fine,’ Mija says, and I grin at her. ‘Are we finding you a man tonight? And not one that’s friends with your ex, or your ex?’ she asks, and I slap her lightly on the arm. ‘No, I don’t want a man. I’m happy to spend the night with you guys,’ I say. ‘You should at least dance with a guy. Make Park jealous,’ she says with a mischievous glint in her eye. ‘That means I care,’ I begin. ‘You do care,’ she interjects, but I carry on as though she never spoke; ‘And it’s not like he cares anyway. He wouldn’t be jealous.’ ‘Judging by his reaction to you and Tae, I think he would be,’ Mija says drily, and I roll my eyes. ‘Tae told me he’s over it. He said he’s seen Jeongyeon at the frat loads in the past couple weeks,’ I say. ‘Yeah, right, I bet Tae’s just saying that to make you get into bed with him again,’ Mija says.

Tae and I have spent a lot of time together since we slept together, two weeks ago today. I’ve seen a lot of all the ASP boys actually (except for Jimin, and Hoseok – I haven’t seen him for a while actually), what with the party planning and all. We all went on a road trip to get the decorations; on the way there, I was in Joon’s car with him, Jungkook, Mija and Jackson, and on the way back, I was in Chen’s car with him, Jin, Taehyung and Yoongi. We stopped for lunch while we were there, and I really enjoyed it; I think this is the beginning of a new friendship group. Tae, Yoongi, JK and Joon have showed up several times to our apartment with no warning, wanting to watch a movie or something together, and Tae and I have been for coffee together between lectures and seminars a few times. They’re all urging me to accept one of their offers for the end-of-year party, because it’s in three weeks’ time and they want plenty of notice. The rager is also in two weeks and everyone’s been talking about it; what they’re wearing, who they’re bringing, what they’re planning on drinking. It’s the talk of the university. Part of me is dreading it, but it’s always amazing, possibly the messiest night of my year every time. I’m always allowed to sleep over, so Mija and I will be getting ready there beforehand, helping to set up and then sleeping on a blow-up bed in Joon’s room. Chen and Jackson are both invited too, despite being KPN boys, and the boys have also said that Jackson, Chen and Mija can all come to the end-of-year party, even if they’re not anyone’s date (the only term is that they’ll have to share a meal with someone else because the catering company won’t have enough food for three extra people).

Jackson and Chen arrive back with our drinks, the four of us downing our Jager bombs in quick succession, before sipping on our vodka cokes. We stay seated for a while, just drinking and chatting, getting progressively more and more tipsy. At points, Joon, Tae, JK, Jin and Yoongi all come over to say hi, and they’re all given very enthusiastic greetings from the four of us. After an hour or so, the time on my phone reading 2.27, I get up to get some more drinks, Mija and Chen deep in conversation about what they think their favourite K-pop band BTS’ next comeback will be like and Jackson trying to type out a text to his mum to let her know he’s safe and fine. I take Jackson’s VIP card with me, and so I reach the front of the bar quickly, placing my order for several shots and drinks, and wait patiently, the bartender telling me it might be a while due to them running out of Red Bull, but assuring me one of the employees has run to the local supermarket to get some more and will be back any moment now. I sit on a barstool, in my own little world, thinking about what colour dress I’m planning on wearing when Mija and Jackson get married, and it isn’t until I feel a big hand appear on my back that I’m aware of my surroundings once more. I turn to see the owner of the hand, and am surprised to see Hoseok’s handsome face for the first time in a long time.

‘Hobi!’ I exclaim, jumping up and throwing my arms around him, and he lets out a laugh into my ear, hugging me back. ‘So I see you’re making appearances again, y/n,’ Hoseok says amusedly, and I roll my eyes, taking my seat as he sits down beside me. ‘So are you, it seems. Where have you been?’ I ask, and his eyes sparkle. ‘Why? Missed me?’ he asks. ‘Yes, now stop acting coy, what happened to you?’ I ask. ‘I haven’t been too well, so I didn’t think it was best that I went out. Basically, I was responsible for the first time in my life,’ he says, both of us laughing together. ‘What do you want to drink?’ I ask, and he shakes his head. ‘It’s fine, I’ll get my own,’ he says, and I hold up the VIP card. ‘Why pay when I can get you one for free?’ I say, and he grins. ‘Sis, you get more and more boujee every time I see you. Getting fucked in diamond chokers, VIP card for the best bar in the area,’ he jokes, and I let out a giggle. A giggle. What’s wrong with me? ‘I’ll have a double vodka and coke,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Okay, we getting drunk drunk tonight, huh?’ I say, and he lets out a laugh. ‘Why not? It’s my first time out in a while, I deserve it,’ he says, just as the bartender brings over the Jager bombs. ‘Can I have two more of these, and another double vodka coke please?’ I ask, the bartender smiling as he nods. This guy’s seen enough of me the past few weeks, I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten sick of me, but I’m still treated to slices of fruit or umbrellas in my drinks from time to time, and a big smile every time I make an order. He brings over the other two Jager bombs, Hoseok and I doing two each whilst waiting for the bartender to bring over the rest of our drinks. Once he’s brought over five vodka cokes, one for Hoseok and one each for us guys, Hoseok picks up three and I pick up two, the boy helping me to carry them back over to our booth.

Chen, Mija and Jackson greet Hoseok warmly, probably just because he’s got their drinks, and once he’s said hello to all of them, he turns back to me. ‘Hey, you know that thing we’re having? That party? Will you be my date?’ he says, and I actually laugh aloud. ‘You’re the sixth person to ask me, Hoseok,’ I say, his mouth falling open. ‘You’re joking?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘But I’ll consider your offer,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Much appreciated. You wanna dance?’ he offers, and I raise an eyebrow, the boys holding two hands in the air. ‘Hey, listen, Jimin’s moved on and so have you. It’s totally fine. And anyway, I promise you, I just wanna dance. I’m not expecting it to end like it did with you and Taehyung,’ he says amusedly, and my mouth falls open. ‘So everyone knows about that, huh?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘Well, a lot of us heard you guys on the actual night, and it got around to the rest of us. I had the pleasure of hearing him dicking you down against the wall so Jimin could hear,’ he grins, and I cover my face in embarrassment. ‘If I say I’ll dance with you, will you stop talking?’ I say, and he bursts out laughing. ‘Come on,’ he says, gently grabbing my wrist and leading me to the dance floor. We dance together for a while, keeping it very PG, but as the alcohol gets to my head, I start to realise three things; the first is how good-looking Hoseok is, which is very, by the way. His dark hair is swept back from his forehead, revealing his clear and tan face, and his heart-shaped lips and bright, sparkling eyes only add to the appeal. The second thing I notice is how good of a dancer is. The man can move. His hips sway deliciously smoothly, his movements practically dripping with rhythm and flow. The third thing I notice is how tight his clothes are, the black top displaying his amazing figure, the toned muscles and the slim waist, and his black jeans show his thick thighs, the curves of his legs, the bulge of his crotch. Quite simply, the man, and everything about him, is amazing. I manage to restrain myself for quite a long time. And then the music changes.

A slow RnB track begins to float out of the speakers, the dancers around us holding each other close, whining and grinding to no end. Hoseok gives me an amused look, obviously wondering how far I’m willing to take this, and if I were sober, this is where I’d go sit back down. But I’m not. So I don’t. Instead, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, hands resting on his strong back, and hold him close, the boy grinning to himself as his arms snake around my waist, pulling me even closer. We dance slowly and sensually, his expensive aftershave flooding my senses, as I try to avoid eye contact, knowing I’ll probably do something stupid if I get lost in those shiny eyes of his. After a few songs, I realise my back is now pressed against his front, and I don’t quite remember how it happened. I can feel everything, his dick pressed firmly against my ass as he rolls his hips gently towards me, making my panties feel wetter and wetter by the second. After a while, I lose all inhibition and begin rolling my hips to move in time with his, meeting his grinds with slow ones of my own.

‘Fuck, y/n, you’ve got me half-hard in a fucking bar,’ he whispers into my ear, and I have to hold back a whimper at his words. I turn to face him, my eyes locking with his, and he sighs after a few moments. ‘You’re gone, aren’t you?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘I’m tipsy. Not too drunk,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘Your eyes are so dilated right now, y/n,’ he says, and I blink. ‘That happens when you’re looking at someone you’re attracted to,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘And when you’re drunk. God, y/n, you got me half-hard in a bar, but you’re too fucking drunk that I’ll feel bad if I take you home now,’ he says, and I sigh, pouting. ‘Hoseok, I’m really not that drunk. I’m literally thinking straight, I can see fine, like I’m totally not drunk. A little tipsy, yes, but not drunk,’ I say, maybe downplaying it slightly. Admittedly, it’s probably not the best thing to do (have sex with another of my kind-of-ex’s best friends) but it’s not like it matters that much, right? What’s Jimin gonna do? Just get angry again? It’s not like he’s not fucking Jeongyeon anyway. It’s totally fine, we’ve both moved on. Hoseok watches me carefully before sighing. ‘Let’s go sit in your booth for a little while, and if you seem okay, then we’ll go back to my place? Okay? Because I really don’t like having sex with a girl when she’s drunk,’ he says, leading me back to the booth. ‘Why? Messy? Bad head?’ I ask, and he laughs. ‘No, moron, because people’s morals and things are different when they’re drunk. I want her to be fully aware, fully willing. Not just down to fuck because she’s drunk,’ Hoseok says as we reach the booth. ‘Trust me,’ I say gently into his ear, ‘I’d be down even if I were stone-cold sober.’

I slide into the booth, Hoseok looking slightly flushed when he sits down beside me, and I supress a laugh at how his jeans are straining over his crotch. Bless him. ‘Having fun, you two?’ Mija asks amusedly, sat opposite us with her legs slung over Jackson’s lap, Chen sat beside me. The three of them seem to have sobered up, and are probably waiting for me to either come back with them or disappear home with someone else before they head back to mine and Mija’s apartment. ‘A bit too much, it seems, by the semi Hoseok’s showing off,’ Chen says drily, and Hoseok laughs, not embarrassed in the slightest. ‘What can I say? Your friend here is a tease,’ he says. ‘Why don’t you just call it a night and go back together?’ Jackson asks. ‘He thinks I’m too drunk,’ I say, the three of them looking at Hoseok in shock. ‘You think she’s drunk? Trust me, you’ll know drunk y/n when you see her, and this y/n is not even half way there. Sis would be passed out on the table if she were drunk,’ Mija says, and I pout. ‘I’m never that bad,’ I say, and she raises an eyebrow. ‘I have receipts, remember?’ she says, and I mutter a meek ‘never mind’ back at her. 

‘Okay, I’d very much like to see these receipts sometime, but for now, shall we head back? If they say you’re not drunk, I believe them,’ Hoseok says, and I grin at him. ‘One more shot for the road,’ I say before calling over one the waiters, asking for a couple more shots. He brings them over moments later, and Hoseok and I down them. We both rise up from our seats, and I promise Mija that I’ll keep her updated and promise Chen that I’ll let him know if I need a lift or anything in the morning. But before we can even begin walking away from the booth, I feel a hand roughly grab my shoulder and turn me around. I nearly lose my balance, both Hoseok and Chen helping to hold me up, and once I’m steady, I look to see who it is, my blood running cold when my eyes land on Eunwoo’s angry ones, making me sober up instantly.  

‘Don’t bother going back with this bitch, she’ll just leave you with blue balls,’ Eunwoo spits angrily, his frat brothers hanging around a few feet behind him. ‘You okay?’ Hoseok asks me, ignoring Eunwoo entirely, and I nod, turning to look at Jackson and Chen. ‘I thought you said he wasn’t coming here tonight,’ I say. ‘He wasn’t,’ Chen sighs tiredly, knowing it’s about to kick off. ‘Last minute change of plan, but I guess your little moles wouldn’t have known that, because they were too busy getting drunk at yours and Mija’s. I didn’t want to start on either of you for hanging with her, because it’s not that big of a deal, but the fact that you’re helping her avoid me, and hanging out with her over us is another thing all together,’ Eunwoo says angrily, directing his words to Chen and Jackson, both of them looking exasperated with their frat brother. 

‘For God’s sake, Eunwoo, grow up. You’re starting a scene in the middle of a bar because your ego is hurt that your ex left you with blue balls, and you wonder why we’d rather hang out with y/n over you,’ Jackson says, twisting the knife further. ‘Why are you siding with her?’ he demands, voice rising. ‘Eunwoo, there aren’t any sides! You and her are exes, but it doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to be friends with her. She’s Jackson’s girlfriend’s best friend, for God’s sake. Do you want Jackson to cut off his girlfriend’s best friend? Stop being so ridiculous and grow up. We’re friends with both of you, we hang out with both of you. y/n doesn’t have an issue with it, so why do you?’ Chen says diplomatically, but Eunwoo’s too angry to listen to reason. ‘Because she’s not the type of person you should associate with. She’s a fucking bitch. ASP’s little bitch to be precise,’ Eunwoo says venomously, and Mija rises up from her seat angrily, Jackson following suit as Hoseok steps towards Eunwoo. ‘You’re playing a dangerous game insulting y/n like that, Eunwoo, so I’m going to ask you to walk away before you get any of us angrier than we already are,’ Hoseok says calmly, and Eunwoo laughs. ‘Or what? What are you gonna do?’ Eunwoo says in Hoseok’s face, a droplet of saliva landing on Hoseok’s face, and he wipes it off coolly, obviously trying to control his temper, because he looks scary calm right now. ‘Eunwoo, just leave us alone,’ I begin to say, but before I can say anything else, I spot Jimin storming towards us, the rest of ASP and the LSG girls following in his wake. 

‘You were fucking pregnant? You were pregnant, and you didn’t fucking tell me?’ Jimin says angrily when he reaches us, Eunwoo suddenly moving the bottom of my list of problems. My head goes light at his words, my vision momentarily blurring, and I have to clutch onto Jackson’s forearm to steady myself. ‘I…’ I stutter, not knowing what to say, my heart practically beating out of my chest. ‘I don’t care what happened between us, y/n, but I would’ve thought you’d have at least told me, for fuck’s sake! You went and got an abortion and dealt with it all without speaking to me! What’s wrong with you?’ Jimin demands, angrier than I’ve ever seen him, and, over his shoulder, I can see Jeongyeon grinning maliciously. ‘y/n, that’s way out of line! You should’ve fucking told me! The sleeping with your ex, sleeping with Tae, nearly sleeping with Hoseok I can move past, but this is another thing entirely! I can’t believe you didn’t fucking tell me!’ Jimin says, my silence making him angrier and angrier. 

‘Enough, Jimin, this isn’t the place,’ Chen says calmly, placing a gentle hand on Jimin’s chest, and Jimin pushes him off. ‘I wanna hear what she has to say for herself,’ Jimin says, and I don’t even know what to do or say, my mind racing but blank at the same time, shock having overtaken my body. ‘I didn’t…’ I begin to say, not even knowing what’s about to come out of my mouth. ‘Speak up,’ Jimin says neutrally. ‘I didn’t… I didn’t sleep with Eunwoo,’ I say quietly, wanting to kick myself for saying that. ‘Oh, good to know you’ve got at least some sense then,’ Jimin says. ‘I was right, she really is ASP’s bitch. The whole fucking frat’s passing her around,’ Eunwoo says to one of his frat brothers, purposely loud enough for us all to hear him. Hobi, Jimin, Jackson and Jungkook all go for him at the same time, but Mija beats them to it, landing a hard slap square on his cheek. He stands in shock for a moment before swinging for Mija, and Jackson grabs Mija’s arm, pulling her out of his reach just in time. Jimin takes his chance then, swinging for Eunwoo whilst the boy is distracted, and lands a punch under his jaw. Eunwoo takes a moment before swinging back for him, his fist landing on Jimin’s eye. It quickly becomes a fight, both of them landing punch after punch, and I look around at the boys, wanting one of them to intervene, unable to believe my eyes. I step forward to stop it and Chen grabs hold of me. ‘Don’t be stupid, y/n, you can’t stop them,’ he says, before stepping around me to stop it himself.

‘Gosh, y/n, you should be careful. Wouldn’t want the baby to get hurt, would we?’ Jeongyeon says, a few of her minions laughing along with her, the other LSG girls that I’m friends with staying silent. I ignore her, knowing she’s not worth it, continuing to watch as Chen and Jin attempt to pull Jimin and Eunwoo apart. ‘Surely you shouldn’t even be here, right? Pregnant women can’t drink, remember? Already a bad mother,’ she continues, her minions indulging her with their annoyingly high-pitched laughter. ‘Oh, look at that. Her bump is showing,’ Jeongyeon says, her and her minions dissolving into giggles, and it’s the last straw. All I can see is red when I turn to face her and pounce before anyone can stop me. The laughter on her face disappears quickly when she sees how angry I am, and she tries to shield herself, her attempts fruitless, because I manage to slap her across her face, hard, her makeup coming off onto my hand. ‘You fucking bitch!’ she shouts, grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking it. I rake my nails across her face, hearing her scream, and I can’t help but feel satisfaction when I see blood blooming from where my nails cut her. She kicks out at me, her foot colliding with my shin, and I will myself not to let out a single noise as I elbow her in the boob, the other girl falling to the floor in pain.

It’s only when she hits the floor and I feel a pair of hands pulling me away from her that I come back to reality, wanting to hit myself for losing control and hurting someone like that. It’s not like she doesn’t deserve it, but I’m better than that. I wonder what’s going on now, but when my eyes land on the scene around me, what I see is completely unexpected. Nearly all of the boys are either fighting, or trying to break up a fight. Quite simply, a brawl has broken out. I turn to see who’s hands are on me, and see Sana pulling me away. And then security appears, dozens of burly men and women breaking us apart and leading us all away from the exit, towards the back of the bar. The woman holding onto me isn’t gentle in the slightest, practically dragging me through the bar, and they push us all into one big room that looks like it was once used as a kitchen. ‘The police are on their way. Don’t even think about starting another fight,’ one security guard says, all of us panicking at the mention of the police. ‘It’s fine,’ Chen says, ‘I’ll call my dad. He’ll sort this out, we’re not going with the police.’

An hour later, I’m sat in the police station at a table in a typical questioning room opposite a kind-eyed male police officer, a recording device sat on the table between us. He’s already explained all my rights to me and is about to start asking me questions. Some of the others are also being questioned, and the rest of us are sat in a holding cell. The bar staff watched the CCTV back and pointed out which of us were involved, and so all the ASP and KPN boys are here, as well as Mija, Jeongyeon and Sana, all the other LSG girls being let off. ‘So, y/n, do you want to explain to me what happened, and the lead up to what happened?’ the police officer says. ‘Um, the whole lead up? Because it’s a long story,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I have all night. Go ahead, y/n,’ he says, and I sigh.

‘Um, okay, I’ll try to keep it short if I can. Basically, I used to date Eunwoo in freshman and sophomore year. Then I broke up with him because he started to become abusive, and I started sleeping with Jimin. Not dating, just sleeping with him. But then I caught feelings and I cut him off. A couple months ago, we ended up sleeping together again, and then the second time we slept together, the condom broke, so I was scared I was pregnant. But I took a morning after pill and did some pregnancy tests, and I wasn’t, so it was fine. And I got my period as well. Then a couple nights later, we went out for dinner, but we got a call that a party had started back at his frat. So we went back to help kick people out and clean up, but while I was cleaning up, he went and slept with Jeongyeon in his room. I didn’t know, but Namjoon did, and he didn’t want to have to break it to me, so he offered for me to sleep in his room, so I did. I found out the next morning when I saw her leaving his room, and then I cut him off and fell into a complete depression. Him and his friends were blowing up my phone, showing up to my apartment, waiting outside my lectures, so I went to extreme lengths to hide from them all. Meanwhile, I found out that I actually was pregnant and went and got an abortion with Mija, but one of Jeongyeon’s sorority sisters was there doing work experience. Anyway, then one night, after around a month, I saw him going up to my apartment just as I was, so I slept in the library to avoid speaking to him. Mija found me the next morning, and told me to just face him, so I did. I went to confront him, but ended up confessing my feelings to him. He horribly rejected me, and I ended up falling into an even worse depression. His friends were still blowing up my phone, but he wasn’t, and then it got out to our whole university what had happened, so everyone was trying to get hold of me to either see if I was okay or find out the gossip. So I hid in my bedroom for an entire week. Then Mija intervened, said I needed to get my life together, and made me sort myself out so we could go out that night. We went to a bar and I saw Chen and ended up catching up with him when Mija went home with Jackson. Then Eunwoo, my ex, appeared, and I was drunk and stupid and ended up going back to his but chickened out while he was in the toilet and Chen helped me escape the frat. He took me to spend the night with Namjoon. Then, two weeks after that, I went to the bar again with Mija, Jackson and Chen, and ended up going home with Jimin’s friend, Taehyung. Then, fast forward to tonight, I nearly went home with another of Jimin’s friends, Hoseok, but Eunwoo appeared and started shouting at Chen and Jackson for being friends with me, because they’re in the same frat, and called me ASP’s bitch. Then Hoseok told him to leave but before anything else could happen, Jimin appeared and started shouting at me for not telling him I was pregnant, meaning that Jeongyeon’s friend must have told him. I was in shock, I didn’t know what to do, and he also brought up me going home with Eunwoo and Taehyung, and nearly doing the same with Hoseok. I told him I didn’t sleep with Eunwoo, and then Eunwoo said again that I’m ASP’s bitch and said I’m getting passed around the whole frat. Mija slapped him, and he went to hit Mija back, but Jackson pulled her out of his way. Then Jimin went for him and them two started fighting. Then Jeongyeon started saying to me that I should be careful because I’m pregnant, and shouldn’t be drinking, and that my bump is showing, and I lost it at that because I know full well that I do not have a stomach that looks like a baby bump, so I went for her. I admit, I did hit her first, and we were going at it for a bit before Sana pulled me away from her. Then security appeared and dragged us into the back, and you know the rest,’ I say, taking a deep breath at the end.

Saying it like that makes me realise just how insane my life has been. It’s been one thing after another; pregnancies, sex, exes, feelings, rejections, mental breakdowns, interventions, new friends, old friends, ex friends. My life’s been like a Bollywood drama or a fanfiction or something. ‘Right,’ the police officer says, sighing, ‘that was a long story, and I can tell that that’s just the summarised version. At the moment, it seems as though it was nothing too serious, but we will have to ask Jeongyeon if she wants to press charges against you for assault, which she very well may be able to. As for her friend who exposed your pregnancy and abortion, she’s broken the Hippocratic oath and so that must go on her criminal record. So if you can give us her name and we’ll look into it. I also don’t think there’s much we can do about the abuse from Eunwoo as it was two years ago, and I doubt you have evidence to prove it. We might believe you, but we have to have solid fact to prove it’ he says. ‘Yeah, I don’t want to do anything with Eunwoo, but I’ll give you the details about Jeongyeon’s friend,’ I say, and he nods as I note down Chungae’s details for him. ‘Thank you, y/n, I’ll take you back to the holding cell with your friends now,’ he says, and I nod, rising up from my seat. He leads me through the police station, back into the holding cell, and doesn’t bother locking it. None of us are stupid enough to start trouble in a police station. The ASP boys, Mija, Jackson and Chen sit in the middle of cell, the rest of the KPN boys on one side, Jeongyeon and Sana on the other with Jimin sat a couple feet away from them, alone. I look around, and decide I’m going to be the bigger person.

My friends watch in confusion as I walk over to Jeongyeon and Sana, the latter giving the former a stern talking to, it seems. ‘Hi, Sana. Um, Jeongyeon, I just wanted to apologise for going for you like that. It was wrong of me,’ I say, and she looks up at me. ‘If you’re apologising to stop me from pressing charges, you can think again,’ she says spitefully, and I sigh internally, knowing this will go onto my criminal record now. Sana elbows her, visibly annoyed, and I hold back a laugh. ‘That’s not why I’m apologising. I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. She looks at Sana, who looks at her expectantly, before sighing defeatedly. ‘I accept your apology,’ she says, Sana obviously waiting for more. ‘And I’m sorry for telling Jimin about your pregnancy and abortion,’ she says, Sana still waiting for more. ‘And being a bitch to you in the bar about it,’ she says, Sana still looking at her expectantly. ‘And I’m not gonna press charges,’ she says, Sana smiling at me serenely. ‘Apology accepted. Let’s agree to leave each other alone,’ I say, holding out a hand, and she nods, shaking it.

And then I join Jimin, sitting down on the bench beside him. We both sit in silence for a few moments, before he speaks. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asks quietly, head in his hands, and I let out a humourless laugh. ‘You didn’t have a right to know.’ ‘I know, but… I didn’t think you’d go through that yourself. I thought you’d come to me. I’m not angry because you didn’t tell me; I’m angry because you suffered alone when you didn’t have to,’ he says. ‘I didn’t suffer. And I had Mija,’ I say. ‘But I thought you’d want me with you,’ he says quietly. ‘I did. I did want you with me. But you made your feelings towards me clear. You can’t be angry now,’ I reply, and he sighs. ‘y/n, I… I lied,’ he says, and I laugh humourlessly again. ‘What about this time?’ ‘My feelings. I did like you. I do like you. I more than like you. It’s just difficult,’ he says, and I scoff. 

‘What’s so difficult about this, Jimin? We’re not Romeo and Juliet, or Cathy and Heathcliff, or Tristan and Isolde, or Jack and Rose, or Hamlet and Ophelia, or Gatsby and Daisy,’ I say. ‘I don’t know how the majority of those people are, but I get the gist. It’s not even us, y/n, it’s me. I want to be with you, of course I do. It’s just… I don’t think I’m capable of being loyal to you, and I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to break your heart. You deserve better than someone who can’t be loyal to you, who can’t love you completely,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘I’m sorry, Jimin, but that’s such a cop-out. How can you claim you want to be with me, if you don’t even like me enough to be loyal?’ I say, and he shakes his head, frustrated. ‘No, no, it’s coming out wrong. I mean… I mean that I want to be with you, and I could be with you, and the chances are that I would be loyal to you, because to me, you’re the only girl in the world, y/n. I’m just scared that that might change one day. I don’t want it to, but what if it does? I don’t want to hurt you, you deserve more than that, more than me,’ he says, head still in his hands. ‘Then that happens. That’s what love is, Jimin. It’s unpredictable and it can be fickle, and if our love changes, then that’s okay. But for now, you… like me, and I like you. That’s all that matters, right?’ I say, and he looks at me for the first time.

His eyes are rimmed with red and his hair is a dishevelled and fluffy mess, eyes and cheeks puffy. He also has a black eye coming, as well as a split lip and a cut on his cheekbone. ‘I guess. I never thought about it like that,’ he says. ‘Of course you didn’t,’ I say quietly with a soft smile. ‘I’m just so scared,’ he says, and I take his hand in mine. ‘So am I, Jimin, terrified, in fact. But it’s okay,’ I say, and he smiles. A few seconds later, the smile falls from his face and he pulls his hand from mine. ‘I… you know the thing with me and Jeongyeon?’ he says, and the smile falls from my face too at that. ‘Yeah,’ I say hesitantly. ‘It wasn’t true. I said it to try and get you to move on from me,’ he says. ‘Don’t lie to me. I saw her leaving your room wearing your clothes,’ I say, and his head whips up, confusion etched across his face. ‘Wait, what?’ he says. ‘I saw her, leaving your room, wearing your clothes, the morning after we went for dinner,’ I say again, slowly. 

‘But… we didn’t sleep together. She left. Honestly. I went up to my room to check no one was in there, while we were tidying up, and she followed me up. She tried to get me into bed, but I rejected her, and she confronted me, asking me if you and I were together. I told her, no, we’re not together, but we’re fucking. And she went mad. We argued for ages. Then, she left, or so I thought, and when I went looking for you around the frat, I saw Chungae and asked her if she’d seen you. She said she saw you go home, and I couldn’t find my phone to text you, so I just went to bed, thinking I’d speak to you in the morning when I found my phone. Then, I was alone in bed when I woke up. The last time I saw her was when she left my room after our argument,’ he says. ‘But, Jimin, I heard you talking to her in the morning,’ I say, sceptical about his story. ‘y/n, when I woke up, I was alone. I must have been talking in my sleep or something,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow, still suspicious.

‘Jeongyeon,’ he calls, the girl turning to look at us. ‘Did you come sleep in my room the night of that party, when we argued?’ he asks, and she shakes her head, looking puzzled. ‘I saw you coming out of his room in the morning, wearing his clothes, and you were speaking to him when I walked past his room,’ I say, and realisation is etched across her face. ‘I ended up sleeping with Jongho, the junior, and I was wearing his clothes. I went into Jimin’s room because I couldn’t find my phone and thought I might have left it there. He was saying your name in his sleep, and I said, ‘no, idiot, it’s me, not your girlfriend’ but he was asleep, so he didn’t reply. I ended up finding his phone, so I left it on his bedside table, and I eventually found mine in the kitchen. But no, I didn’t sleep in your room. What do you think I am?’ she says indignantly before turning away from us. 

‘See? I promise, I didn’t sleep with her. Not once. Not since I slept with you again. I haven’t slept with anyone since then,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Tae told me he saw Jeongyeon at the frat a lot,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘The only time I called her over was after you slept with Tae, because I was angry, and I wanted revenge, but you left before she even arrived, so I just sent her straight back home. All the other times, she just showed up, probably to see Jongho,’ he says. I want to believe him, but I’m still slightly suspicious. ‘Please, y/n, you have to believe me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I promise. It’s only you for me. I could never have slept with anyone else,’ he says, and there is true sincerity in his eyes, and an openness I’ve never seen before. This is him putting down his walls and letting me in. ‘I believe you,’ I say quietly, feeling slightly stupid for jumping to conclusions before. To be fair, it’s not like I didn’t have evidence, even if the evidence wasn’t what I thought it was. ‘You do?’ he asks, sounding as though he’s been told he won the lottery. ‘I do,’ I say. 

‘Wait, hold up, did you just propose?’ Jackson asks, everyone looking at us. ‘No, idiot, ‘I do’ is in the marriage vows,’ I say, rolling my eyes. ‘Did you just get married?’ he asks, sounding genuinely stunned, and Mija hits him around the head. ‘Moron,’ she mutters, and I hold back to a laugh, turning to face Jimin once more. ‘So what does this mean? For us?’ he asks. ‘I still need you to show me. I need you to show me that I can trust you, that I can give you my heart. I know I said I want you to ruin my life, but I want you to ruin it for the better,’ I say, and he lets out a soft chuckle. ‘I don’t think you can ruin things for the better,’ he says, a soft smile on his plump lips. ‘You can. I want you to ruin it as it is, but so it turns out better in the end,’ I say, and he nods, still smiling. ‘I’ll try my best, for you, princess,’ he says.

‘Right, listen up, kids,’ a police officer says from the door of the cell. ‘None of you want to press charges and so that means we’re going to let you go. Just… in the future, please refrain from… well, everything that led you up to this point. Those of you that are above the limit will have to get taxis home, and we can provide those,’ the police officer says. We sort out the taxis, deciding that the KPN boys will get one seven-seater, the ASP boys will get one seven-seater, Jeongyeon and Sana will get one five-seater, and Chen, Jackson, Jimin, Mija and I will get another seven-seater with two drop-off points, Jimin saying he’ll walk up from KPN to his own frat. I end up being sat at the very back of the cab by myself, Jimin at the front and Mija, Jackson and Chen in the middle, and so I just think. I think about everything that’s happened over the past couple months. I think about what I’m going to do about Eunwoo. I think about how I owe Mija, Jackson and Chen for being such good friends. I think about what’s going to happen with Chungae. I think about Jeongyeon, and how our friendship turned so sour in sophomore year. And I think about Jimin. When we reach our apartment, Mija turns to look at me. ‘I’m gonna head back to KPN with Jackson. I think you and Jimin should stay together tonight,’ she says, loudly enough for the others to hear before whispering just to me, ‘tend to his wounds, talk it all out, but don’t sleep with him. It’s better to get these conversations done straight away, while it’s still fresh and still on your mind.’ ‘Thank you, Mija. Text me to keep me updated,’ I say, beginning to climb out of the taxi. ‘And you do the same!’ she calls after me. Jimin and I wave at the taxi as it drives away, Jackson sticking his head out of the taxi like a dog.

As soon as it’s out of view, Jimin and I head up to the apartment in a comfortable silence. As soon as I step in, I kick off my heels and check the time, the clock in our living room reading 5.03am. ‘God, look at the time,’ I say to Jimin, before turning to look at him. The police station cleaned his wounds and put plasters on them, but they don’t look very effective, blood already seeping through. ‘Right, I hate to be like a mafia wife from a shitty film, but let me sort out your injuries,’ I say, grabbing our makeshift first aid kit from the kitchen before leading him into my en suite, knowing that that’s where the best lighting is. I tap the side, Jimin jumping up onto it with a wince. ‘Was it just your face?’ I ask, and he shakes his head. ‘He booted my shin, and I’m pretty sure it bled, and he smashed a glass on my arm, so there’s a cut there too,’ he says, my eyes widening. ‘When did this happen?’ I ask, rifling through our first aid kit. ‘When you were attacking Jeongyeon. Good job, by the way,’ he grins, and I laugh gently.

I roll up his jeans leg, the tight material just about going past where he was kicked on his lower shin, and the skin there has already begun to bruise. There’s a small cut with blood dried around it, and I will myself not to gag at the sight of it. I put some antiseptic onto a piece of tissue and gently clean the cut, Jimin only flinching very slightly. Once I’ve cleaned it, I put some cream on that reduces inflammation and swelling (to help the bruising go down), followed by a proper plaster (so thick, it’s almost a bandage). I move onto his arm, little gritty bits of glass still resting on his skin. I clean them away, being careful to make sure none of it goes onto the cut, before cleaning the cut itself and putting a plaster on that too. I move onto his face then, recleaning those cuts and replacing the plasters. I put the cream on the area around his eye too, noticing that the area under his eyebrow has already begun to swell. 

As I’m doing so, he gently grabs my wrist, looking at my hand. ‘Is that… you wear my ring?’ he asks, and I nod shyly. ‘I… I feel naked without it. It’s like a piece of me now,’ I say, and he beams at me. ‘Do you wanna put some ice on your eye?’ I ask, changing the subject before I get embarrassed, and he shakes his head. ‘That cream feels like ice on my skin, it should be more than enough,’ he says, and I nod. ‘What about you?’ he asks, and I grin. ‘The bitch barely touched me,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘All she did was pull my hair and kick my shin. I’ll probably have a bruise on my shin, but it’s fine,’ I say, and he grins. ‘That’s my girl,’ he says, my heart swelling at his words.

‘Do you want some water or something?’ I ask, filling up the glass beside the sink, and he nods. I hand it to him, and he downs it in one. He fills it again, and hands it to me to drink and I smile at him before sipping it down, bit by bit. ‘Come on, you need to change out of those clothes,’ I say, leading him into the bedroom. ‘Have you got any clothes for me though?’ he asks. ‘I think so,’ I say, rifling around in my wardrobe. I find a pair of his boxers, black Calvins, from sophomore year, throwing them to him, and he chuckles as I root around for anything else of his. ‘These are fine, if you can’t find anything else,’ he says, and I roll my eyes jokingly. ‘Of course they are,’ I say, loving the laugh he gives in return. 

I grab a pair of shorts and a strappy vest and go into the en suite, letting Jimin have his privacy to change, and giving myself that privacy too. It’s too soon to be naked in front of him again. I quickly change, wash off my makeup and brush through my hair, and when I go back into the bedroom, Jimin’s sat on the edge of the bed in just the boxers, his clothes neatly folded in the corner of the room. I try my hardest not to ogle his beautiful body, opting for putting my dirty clothes beside his. ‘Shall I sleep on the sofa, or…?’ he trails off, obviously not wanting to pressure me into anything, and I smile softly. ‘You can sleep in the bed, with me. But we’re just sleeping. That’s it,’ I say, and he nods with a smile. He climbs into bed, on the same side he always slept on, and I climb in beside him after replying to a couple texts from Namjoon and Mija letting me know they’re safe.

We just lie side-by-side, shoulders touching, and I listen to the sound of our breathing, the only sound I can hear. It’s like the rest of the world is silent, and it’s just us. ‘I wish I’d confessed my feelings for you sooner. I liked you in sophomore year, you know? I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you,’ he says, and I laugh gently, not having enough energy to feel surprised. ‘I know why. You’re not the relationships kinda guy,’ I say simply, and he chuckles. ‘I wasn’t the friends-with-benefits kinda guy. Until I met you. I wasn’t the ‘stay the morning after’ kinda guy. Until I met you. I wasn’t the ‘run out and get pregnancy tests and morning-after pills at the crack of dawn’ kinda guy. Until I met you. I’d never fallen in love with someone. Until I met you,’ he says gently. ‘Love?’ I ask. ‘Love,’ he confirms, hesitating before he continues.

‘I love you, y/n. I always have, baby, always. And I never even realised it. I’d been keeping an eye on you for a while, and when I heard you’d broken up with Eunwoo, I approached you at the first possible moment. I went over to you – do you remember that party? – I went over to you, offered you a drink, and you said ‘no, thanks, I’ve got one already’ and turned away from me. That was the moment,’ he says, and I look at him in confusion. ‘The moment I fell in love with you. The first girl to turn her back to me, to not care that it was me. And that’s one of the things that made me want you more than anything. You didn’t care who I was, didn’t care for my reputation. I didn’t have to live up to the image of ‘Park Jimin’ because you didn’t care who he was. So when I approached you again a couple hours later and we ended having a super deep and interesting conversation – the first one I’d ever had with a girl at a party – I knew you’d be part of my life. And then, we slept together, and it was amazing, the best sex I’d ever had. And I woke up in the morning, and you were gone. The first time a girl had ever done that to me. But you’d left a note, with your excuse of having a morning lecture, and your phone number. I was so eager to text you that I had to get one of the boys to hide my phone from me for a few hours. And then, every time I saw you, and we slept together, I fell for you even harder. And the mornings after didn’t help that at all,’ he admits, his words making me warm inside.

‘We wasted so much time,’ I say softly, and he nods. ‘I wish I hadn’t pushed you away. I wish I’d known, wish I’d understood that it was okay to feel uncertain, because that’s what love is. I don’t think I’ll ever fall out of love with you; it was just a possibility that scared me. And I guess I was scared that you’d do fall out of love with me. I’ve always felt like you could do better than me, but instead of being insecure about it, I should feel honoured that you’ve chosen me when there are so many others out there,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘Don’t feel honoured, idiot. There’s no one better than you in my eyes. You’re the only one for me, Jimin,’ I say, and he smiles gently. 

‘I’m sorry, y/n, for wasting so much time. I really am. But I hope I can make it up to you. I’m ready to give you my heart, and everything that comes with it. I’d give you anything if you asked for it,’ he says, and I smile. ‘We have all the time in the world. I’m not ready to be in an official relationship yet, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have time. We’re about to graduate, Jimin, not retire. We’ve got the rest of our lives. If that’s what you want, that is,’ I say. ‘Of course that’s what I want, y/n. I love you,’ he says. ‘I love you too, Park Jimin. Thank you for ruining my life,’ I say softly, turning to him and placing a hand on his cheek. He puts his hand over mine, his bright chocolate eyes locking with mine, and I wonder how I could’ve ever thought there was someone else out there for me, when the most amazing, the most beautiful, most kind, most sensitive and sweet, most generous and funny, most perfect boy in the world was there all along.

I started this story by saying that I love university. Everything about it. And that hasn’t changed, not a single bit. Yes, maybe the past couple months have been… rocky to say the least. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because I’ve learnt a lot. I’ve learnt about myself, how strong and resilient I can be when the situation calls for. I’ve learnt about friendship, and what a true friend is. Chen, Jackson, Namjoon, Jungkook, Yoongi, Jin, Taehyung, even Hoseok, all got into a fight in a bar to stick up for me. Mija, I’ve learnt, is my soul sister, my rock, the person who stuck by my side and supported me no matter what. And after seeing how my friends have been so kind and loyal, I’ve learnt that I should expect nothing less of a friend. I’ve learnt about cruelty, and how spiteful and vindictive humans can be, knowing Chungae’s degree will be a waste of time as she won’t be employed as a nurse for the rest of her life because of what she did to me. And I’ve learnt how far people will go for what they want, knowing Jeongyeon went to such lengths to get the boy she wanted, only for it to backfire in the end. I’ve learnt how nasty people can be, Eunwoo showing that some leopards never change their spots. And I’ve learnt about love.

Love is acceptance of someone, seeing their flaws and loving them anyway. Love is vulnerability, giving yourself to someone entirely, knowing it could hurt you in the end. Love is clarity, the realisation that everything else in your life was just the prologue to the story that is about to begin, now that you have someone to love. Love is mysterious and unpredictable, and no one will ever fully understand it. It looks with not only the eyes, but with the mind. Love will never be what you expect it to be, and it is untamed, never to be controlled or contained. Love is the little things; gentle touches, even gentler kisses, the look in your eye when you see them, smiles across a room, interlocked hands, words whispered across pillows, wanting to hear about their day just because it’s them, giving up your time for them, smiling at your phone when you see their name. Love is a union, looking in the same direction together rather than at each other. Love is not the excitement and the breathlessness and the passion and lying awake at night thinking of him. Love is what’s left after that, what’s left after the ‘being in love’ has burned away. Love is looking to the other person when someone tells a joke, to see the laughter they give, the smile on their face. Love doesn’t just begin and end, it’s not linear and structured; it’s always there, just lying asleep, waiting.

And for me, Jimin was the one the awakened it.

‘It was a pleasure, y/n,’ he whispers, pressing his lips to my forehead gently before moving back to look at me again, ‘it was a pleasure to ruin your life.’ And that’s how we fall asleep; lost in each other’s eyes.