#oh no i gotta go be a snake bc me parents want me to

[loverontheleft]

Don’t Take Me Home (revised)

Original request: oooh maybe car sex with b? perhaps teen!Brendon and you need a place bc both of your houses are occupied so you take this long romantic drive out into the middle of nowhere and just…

Brendon x reader

Warnings: dirty talk and language, car oral and sex.

Word count: 4.9k➡️5.5k

-||-

“Brendon,” you murmur, clinging to his hand with both of yours as you leave the theater. “I don’t wanna go home.” He turns to you and meets your eyes, biting his lip. “Don’t take me home yet.” You’re practically begging now. “It’s a Thursday night, tomorrow is a teacher workday…don’t take me home.”

“But your parents…” Brendon’s hesitating, understandably so, and you squeeze his hand.

“Are at that wedding three hours away, and are staying the night. They got the sitter for Henry for the whole night.” You give him a suggestive smile. “So they won’t know when I get home. But…” and you tug him closer as you get to his car, leaning up against the side so he presses against you. “Home is also not an option. We’d never make it upstairs without the sitter noticing, and the couch is therefore obviously not a viable location for making out.”

“Hmmmm.” Brendon’s face tells you he’s seriously considering your request. “Well, I do want to make out with you.” You nod and tip your head up to kiss under his jaw. He groans and presses against you more. “I really want to make out with you,” he murmurs, his arms tightening around your waist, fingertips brushing the waistband of your skirt. “Damn, I mean…Y/n, I…fuck,” he sighs helplessly.

“What about your house?” You look up at him hopefully, and he shakes his head, pushing a hand through his hair. You can feel the frustration and regret rolling off of him. “Oh wait, your parents are having that dinner party, aren’t they?” He nods, eyes shut. His cock is stirring against you, and you rock your hips, seeking more. You love the pressure, and he leans against you more firmly. “We should at least get in the car,” you tell him, lips moving over his neck again.

“You’re right…get in the car, Angel,” he tells you, moving his hands down your back and over your curves. “Get in the car, please.” He shifts you slightly so he can open your door. “God, get in the car so I can kiss you, darlin.” You slip under his arm and settle into the seat while he crosses around the front of the car and yanks open his door. “Come here.” He beckons you urgently and you clamber over the center console to settle in his lap, your skirt spreading, as he reaches down between his legs and slides his seat back.

“Hi, B,” you giggle, cupping his cheek. He turns his head slightly to kiss your palm before brushing a finger down your jawline to curl under your chin and draw you close. At his touch, you weaken. At his kiss, you melt into him. You can feel his groan rumble through his chest as your tongue teases his; he clutches you closer and you rock against him as he murmurs how much he loves you.

“I love you too,” you tell him. “I love you so much.”

“So much. Let me keep kissing you,” he begs, snaking an arm around your waist and rubbing back against you, matching your movements. He’s urgent now, thrusting up, pressing his cock right where you want him, and the friction against your underwear is incredible; it’s driving you closer and closer to the edge, and you know he’s got to be just as desperate as you are. “I gotta—Angel, please.” The petname sends a thrill through you. You nod, telling him yes, and he freezes. “Yes?” He doesn’t want to sound too hopeful, but you can feel his body tensing under yours.

“Yes,” you repeat. “I want you too. Fuck, I need to come too.” At his stunned silence, you pause and look at him carefully. “Shit. That isn’t what you meant; oh god, Bren—I’m—” and you cover your face with your hands, blushing deeply. The two of you have only been sleeping together for a few months now, and you’re obsessed with the way he can get you worked up with just a single look or touch. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about sex with him all the time.

“Hush, Y/n,” he says softly, kindly, moving your hands and crushing your mouths back together. When you part for air, he stares at you longingly. “That is what I meant—but we can’t—not here.”

You glance around, confused, and he clarifies. “I mean. It’ll have to be here in my car I think…I mean, if you don’t object…we don’t have a lot of options,” and he grins ruefully, nuzzling your nose with his. “…but not here. Not in the movie theater parking lot. We need to go…somewhere else.”

“So take me somewhere else,” you whisper, nuzzling his jawline. “Take me somewhere we can be alone.” He nods and kisses down your neck, hands squeezing your hips and tugging you down against the bulge in his jeans for a brief moment before urging you back into your seat.

“We might be driving for a bit,” Brendon warns you, his hand moving up your skirt and over your thigh. “But I’ll try to be quick.”

“We’ve got nothing but time. Just get me somewhere we can be alone safely,” you tell him, resting your head on his shoulder and shifting slightly so his hand slips between your thighs. He groans and nods, fingers flexing gently. “Need you,” you murmur, resting your hand over his. “Bren, I need you so badly.”

The drive is agony, and you’re both silent; his eyes are fixated on the road while yours are on his face. His thumb is rubbing soft circles over your inner thigh, and you’re subconsciously spreading your legs so he can move his hand higher. You’re both tense, and you know as soon as he parks the car, you’re going to be on top of him. It isn’t long before he pulls off the road and kills the headlights; as he does, you’re unbuckling and scrambling into his lap. “My sweet girl,” he says softly, caressing your cheek. “I love you, you know that—right?” He looks at you seriously, and you nod, nuzzling his palm. “Good,” he whispers. And with that, he leans in to kiss you softly as your hands move to his jeans. Quickly, you unbutton and unzip them so you can reach inside and wrap a hand around his erection. “Fuck,” he groans, letting his head drop back on the headrest. “Your hand, baby; your hand is so good.”

You stroke him firmly and he grunts, hips bucking up to your grasp. “If you think my hand is good, wait til you see what else I have in mind,” you tell him, and he laughs a little desperately, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you in place while he leans to rummage through the glovebox. When he produces a foil packet, you take it eagerly and rip it open, meeting his eyes as you roll it over his hard length. “Need you,” you murmur, rising up above him slightly so you can guide him into you.

“Fuck, Angel,” Brendon groans, fingers flexing against your hips as you sink down and settle into his lap. “You’re my fucking angel; I love you so much.”

“I love you,” you tell him, resting your forehead against his. “I love you too; fuck, you feel so good in me.” You gasp when he moves against you, lips finding yours. “Oh god,” you whisper, clutching his shoulders. “Brendon, I can’t—I can’t like this—” you’re at a loss for words, your thighs burning and back starting to hurt. You look at him helplessly, frustration and discomfort evident.

“It’s okay, we can stop,” he tells you, and you protest, whining and shifting so you’re resting against the steering wheel, telling him to fuck you like this.

“Yeah?” Brendon watches you carefully, staring at your face as you work yourself down against his cock. “Is this okay? Is this better?” You nod, and he leans over to kiss your neck. “My dirty Angel, begging me to fuck her in my car; she’s such a bad girl, but just for me, isn’t she? She’s my bad girl, my best girl. Love her so much.” He’s whispering this against your skin as he nibbles along your neck and collarbone. “My girl gonna come for me?”

“Yeah,” you moan, back arching off of the wheel as you press yourself against him. You’re both fully clothed, with his jeans down just enough and your skirt bunched around your waist. “Yeah, I’m gonna—”

“Be my sweet girl and come for me,” Brendon pleads, hips moving faster now. You close your eyes and nod, clinging to him. “Baby, you gotta—I can’t hold—you feel too good,” he murmurs. “You gotta come first, oh fu—yes, fuck!” His voice drops into a guttural moan as you clench around him, coming hard. “Yes, Y/n, come for me,” he encourages, panting and thrusting urgently.

“Fuck! Brendon, yes, yes, yes!” Your eyes are wide, and you’re moving against him eagerly. “Your…fuck,” you manage. “Your turn.” He bites your shoulder and you feel him pulse with his orgasm, the heat—even with the condom—spreading through you. “Oh god yes, Brendon, yes!” He’s gasping your name as you tug at his hair, both of you moving gracelessly, frantically against each other. “Holy fuck,” you whisper when your pulse evens out. “That was…”

“Yeah,” he agrees, pushing his hair out of his eyes as you can launch yourself forward and kiss him hard. “I love you,” he repeats, your lips moving together tenderly. “I love you so much.”

-||-

“Brendon!” You squeal with laughter as he lifts you off your feet and tosses you over his shoulder outside the bar where he’s just finished a small acoustic set. The rest of his bandmates laugh and turn away, giving you some privacy. “Urie, you’re drunk,” you declare, beating your fists against his back gently. “And I’m drunk. Put me down.” Obligingly, he places you back on your feet and looks at you.

“Are you actually drunk?” Brendon’s examining your face closely. “You know my rule, Y/n.” He wags his finger at you playfully. “No sex if you’re inebriated.”

“Well now I know you’re not drunk,” you shoot back teasingly. “Getting ‘inebriated’ right on the first try.” He laughs and pulls you close, burying his face in your neck, murmuring that he’s high on you, but not drunk. “I’m not either,” you promise, scratching at his back idly. “Definitely tipsy and in love, but not drunk.”

“Yeah? You wanna hang out for a bit more, sober up, then get out of here?” He looks at you suggestively and you nod, wrapping your arms around his waist. “My place is off limits; Shane is hosting game night,” he tells you, and you frown.

“Hannah is doing some Mary Kay party,” you say with frustration evident. “So it sounds like both of our places are off the table.��� You’re both visibly frustrated by this, until you see an idea register on his face. “What?” You look at him suspiciously. “You’ve got your thinking face on…”

“Mmmm,” he agrees, kissing your jawline. “Thinking about senior year, when we fucked in my car after the movies.” You blush, and he gives you a teasing look. “You remember, don’t you, Angel? You begged,” and he stresses the word ‘begged’ with relish, “me not to take you home yet. You were desperate for me.”

“I always am,” you murmur, tipping your head back to give his lips more space to roam. “Don’t you know your girl is addicted to you?” He grins, grabbing your hips and pulling you flush against him. “Shit, you can’t do that,” you warn him. “Feeling you start to get hard like this gets me all worked up, you know that.” He mumbles that he does know that and he likes it. “Tease.” You give him a playful shove, and he bites at your neck in response. “Fuck,” you groan. “You gotta stop, Bren. You’re making me want you more and more, and now I know I can’t have you. We don’t have any place to go.”

He pulls back and gives you a curious look. “Angelbaby, didn’t you hear me say that I was remembering senior year?” You nod, and he grins when he realizes that you clearly aren’t getting it. “We’ve got my car,” he tells you. Your eyes widen. “Yeah. Exactly. We’ve got my car. Give me twenty minutes and a bottle of water, and I’ll be good to get us out of here and somewhere we can be alone.”

After he’s sober enough for both of your liking, he loops an arm around your waist and pulls you close, leading you back out into the parking lot. “Take me somewhere we can be alone,” you tell him, running a finger down his chest. “Want to be someplace private with my man.” He nods and opens your door for you, closing it after you. He settles in the car and inhales sharply when your hand rests over his erection. Without commenting, he puts the car in drive and leaves the parking lot, fingers wrapped tightly around the wheel. “You doing okay there, Urie?” You tease, squeezing lightly. He nods, giving you a quick glance.

“I’m doing great. Thinking about eating out my girlfriend in the backseat of this car, getting her hot cunt all over my face. You?”

“Fuck,” you mumble, letting your head roll back as your fingers trail over his erection. “That wasn’t what I was thinking, but it sure is now.” He grins, telling you to keep thinking about it. “I will,” you promise. “The way you kiss my inner thighs and along my pussy, letting your tongue tease me…” you close your eyes. “Damn…want you between my legs, baby.”

“I want to be there,” he reassures you. “Want to taste my sweet girl as she rubs against my face. Wanna make her come with my fingers and my tongue. Wanna lick her clit and make her squeal, wanna see her lose control from my mouth. Wanna watch her from between her pretty thighs, wanna hold her hips and kiss her all over…”

“Brendon,” you moan, wriggling in your seat. “Need you. Hurry.” He nods and, scanning the road once more, pulls off into a deserted clearing. “This isn’t sketchy at all,” you remark as you climb into the backseat. He laughs as he follows you.

“Do you want me to go back to driving so we can keep loo—oh god.” He cuts himself off when you slide your jeans down your thighs, leaving you in his favorite pink lace underwear. “If you don’t mind, I’m not driving anymore,” he tells you, kneeling between your legs on the backseat.

“You look horribly uncomfortable,” you remark, watching him try to bend down far enough to taste you. “We can reevaluate positions if you need.”

“Yeah,” he groans, rolling his neck. “I love eating you out and that position was going to ruin it. I’m just gonna—” and he slips off the seat so he’s kneeling in the foot space, back against the back of the passenger seat. “Now if you’ll scoot down and—” he beckons you and as you move, he reaches up and spreads your legs while coaxing you forward. “Is this comfortable?” He pushes one of your knees up so it’s parallel to the back of the seat.

“Yeah, I’m fantastic. You?”

“Definitely better. It’s a tight fit, but I’d put up with far worse circumstances to get my tongue in your perfect pussy, Angel.” He grins at you and rubs his thumb over the dark center of your panties. “Right through…damn…” Brendon sighs, and you watch his eyes dilate in pleasure at the mere thought of tasting you. “So wet, Y/n…”

“I am,” you agree in a low voice. “You should do something about it. It is your fault after all.” You grin at him and he laughs appreciatively, pressing warm, open-mouthed kisses to your thigh as he shifts higher onto his knees to get closer and work your underwear down your legs. “This is an interesting change, you being on your knees for me.”

“You make it sound like I don’t—” Brendon starts to protest, clearly insulted at the idea of him not loving to eat you out, and you shake your head quickly.

“No, no—I just mean this position. You’re very generous with your mouth, baby, and I love it—and you. But we’re usually in bed or I’m on top of you. You’re not normally literally on your knees. That’s all.” You tug his hair affectionately and roll your hips towards his mouth.

“That’s better,” he comments with a grin. “Didn’t think you were taking my mouth for granted or anything…but I’d hold out on you if I needed to prove a point.”

You pout, and he laughs. “We both know I wouldn’t last long.” He gives you a teasing lick, letting the tip of his tongue move in a quick circle over your clit. You gasp and your back arches; you tug at his hair and he makes a soft sound of approval, switching to deep, slow strokes while his fingers slide into your heat.

“Oh fuck, don’t stop,” you groan, rocking under him. “Brendon, baby, so good; lick it honey, just—oh god, so fucking good!” His fingers curl while his thumb rubs; his eyes meet yours as he mouths over you, tongue rolling repeatedly against your clit. “Oooooh shit!” The squeal is practically ripped from your body and your eyes snap open wide. “Brendon, yes! Yes yes yes!!” The leg that is parallel to the seat back drops and pins his head between your thighs; he groans, pressing closer and keeping his fingers moving. “Oh god!” Your voice is high and tight, and you’re rocking eagerly against his mouth, holding him in place with your grip in his hair and the pressure of your thighs. “Making me come, oh fuck!”

“Come for me, Angel,” he begs in a muffled voice that sends you over the edge, shrieking and moaning and swearing. “That’s my good girl,” Brendon murmurs when your hips stop moving and your legs part, freeing him. He starts licking your inner thighs idly, watching you with dark eyes. “My Angel knows how much I love her coming on my face. Love tasting you, licking you, sucking you…my best girl.” He places a soft kiss against your hip before crawling up on top of you, propping himself up on his forearms over you.

“Kiss me,” you say softly, craning your neck to reach his mouth. “Need you.” You throw an arm around his back and press him to you; he grunts as his full body weight comes down on you and your legs tighten around his hips. “Any chance of you whipping that cock out and fucking me while we’re back here?”

“You did not just use the phrase ‘whipping that cock out,’ did you?” Brendon looks at you in amusement, body shaking with suppressed laughter. “I cannot take you seriously with those words coming from your perfect mouth.” You blush, and he laughs, catching your lips again. “I will fuck you, but only if you promise to never ask that way again.”

“That’s a more than fair deal,” you agree, before zipping your lips shut. “I got a little carried away, sorry. I was going for ‘desperate,’ but in hindsight, not my most sexy phrasing.” He laughs again and kisses you hard, one hand cupping your face while the other works between your bodies to unzip his jeans. When, together, you’ve worked his jeans down his legs, he grips your thigh and rocks into you slowly. “Oh god,” you moan, closing your eyes. “That feels so good.”

“Yeah,” Brendon groans, face buried in the crook of your neck. “Oh god, yeah. Angel, you feel so fucking good…” He’s moving at a painfully slow pace, and you squirm under him, trying to get more. “Patience,” he chides, lifting your leg higher on his waist so he can fill you. “I’m gonna take care of you, Y/n. You know I’m going to take care of you and make it so good for my girl.”

“Yeah,” you manage, both hands clawing at his back through his shirt. “Yeah, feels so good; Brendon, my god, yes!” His mouth is moving over your neck and the way he’s holding you, keeping your hips tipped up so he can go deep, is sending you closer and closer to the edge with each thrust. “Brendon, baby, you’re gonna make me—oh god, please don’t stop, please, please, please!”

“Yes, Y/n, oh god, your pussy feels so—you feel so—oh fuck, Y/n, I’m gonna come,” Brendon groans, picking up speed and biting desperately at your neck. “Can I come, Angel? Can I come in you?”

“Fuck, please!” You scratch at him desperately, the pleasure you’re feeling evident in every breath and word and movement. You two have only recently made the choice to stop using condoms, and you’re still enthralled every time he asks to come inside you. You can’t get enough of him. “Come, Brendon, come for me. Come in me.” You feel his body shudder against yours; it pushes you over the edge. You let yourself tense around him as your back arches. He groans, and you whimper when he comes. “Yes,” you moan, clinging to him. “Oh fuck, yes!”

“Angelbaby,” Brendon murmurs, breathing hard. “My sweet girl, my good girl, my perfect girl looks so good coming on me…” he’s stroking your hair now, lips pressed to your forehead.

“Brendon,” you whisper, tipping your head back to kiss him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” he replies, twisting a lock of hair around his index finger. “I love you so much. Goddamn, I want to marry you.”

You freeze and look at him with wide eyes. “You don’t mean that.” Your voice is soft, and he raises an eyebrow in amusement, though you can see the nervousness reflected in his own eyes. You pause. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” Brendon tells you without hesitation, his voice steady. “Yes, I mean it. I—but this isn’t me asking—I’ll do it better, my love; I’ll make it so romantic and special for you, and I’ll—dammit, I’ll have a ring too. Fuck, I’ve ruined everything by saying something now—ah, shit Y/n, I’m so sorry; you deserve—”

“Yes,” you murmur, kissing him. “Yes. Yes, Brendon. Yes.” His face lights up, and he takes you in his arms, peppering your face in soft kisses, laughing when you squeal in pleasure. “Yes, I will marry you!”

-||-

“Y/n Y/m/n Urie, your husband needs you!” Brendon’s voice rings through your bedroom, and you shake your head with a laugh, heading for his closet. “Hi, Angel,” he purrs, opening his arms for you to step into his embrace. “You look gorgeous. Love this dress on you. Will you pick out a jacket for me?”

You both look at the pile of clothes on the floor. “B,” you say with a smile. “You are thirty-four years old and what’s more, you manage to pick out clothes for and dress our children every day. You can’t pick out your own jacket?”

“I just want to look good,” he grumbles playfully, swinging your entangled hands back and forth. “Throwing my Angel a birthday party tonight, and I just want to look good enough to be on her arm.”

“You’re sweet, Brendon,” you murmur, hugging him. “You know you’ll look good in anything.” He looks at you expectantly and you smile, bending down and selecting a black jacket with metallic detailing. “This one. This will look good with my dress.”

“I hope you know I don’t mean to make it about me,” Brendon murmurs in your ear as he slips his arms into the jacket. “I just—” but you silence him with a kiss.

“It’s all good, B,” you assure him, kissing his neck and pushing him back against the wall of the closet. He groans and rolls his head back, letting you step closer so you can keep working your lips up his neck and behind his ear. “Want you to be comfortable. Want the photos to look good—know we’re gonna be taking photos, so…” you nip behind his ear and let your hand slide down between his legs; you grin when he grunts and rocks forward into your palm.

“Angel, don’t tease me right now,” Brendon pleads, wrapping an arm around your waist and rubbing himself against your hand. “You know I want you.”

“And I want you,” you retort playfully, flexing your fingers. “You want me to drop to my knees and take care of you the way we both want?”

“That,” Brendon manages in a strained voice, “sounds more like a birthday present for me. Today is your birthday.”

“True,” you murmur, nibbling at his earlobe. “But neither of us have ever needed a birthday in order to get the other on their knees.” Brendon laughs appreciatively, and you think you may have won and are moments away from talking your husband out of his pants, but instead, his hand comes up and tangles in your hair.

“We can’t be late, Angel,” Brendon whispers, and you can hear the regret in his voice. Instead of pushing him, you slip out of his grasp and coax him to the door, curling a finger as you linger in the doorway. Without hesitation, he follows you, all the way out to the driveway.

“Does it ever amaze you that we’ve been wanting each other for seventeen years?” You look at him with a sweet smile once you’re both settled in the car. “We started dating the night before my seventeenth birthday. And here we are now.” You rest your hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly.

“Here we are now,” Brendon agrees, moving your hand higher. “Married with two beautiful children; meanwhile you don’t look a day over twenty-two.” You laugh and thank him for making you old enough to drink; when he kisses you, you palm his dick through his pants gently, rolling your hand to hold him in place while still driving him wild. He wraps a hand around your wrist to keep your hand against him. “God, you get me so hard,” Brendon groans after a minute, and you flex your fingers. “Fuck, Y/n, teasing me so good…”

“Me? Tease? Never. But my husband is so hard for me…really I’m just teasing myself…” you moan and squeeze his erection. “Seventeen years with you and fucking you, and I’m still insatiable.”

“Like I mind,” Brendon says, watching you through heavy eyes. “Wanna fuck my Angel good for her birthday…” you both glance ahead of you, gauging the distance to the venue and then at the digital display clock. “I think we have time,” he tells you. “I’m gonna pull over now.” Brendon guides the car off the main road, into a shopping center and parks behind one of the stores, positioning the car behind a loading dock.

You smirk at him and open your door so you can crawl into the backseat. “You’re bad, Urie,” you tell him.

“You love it,” he shoots back, following you. “Now, I want that dress up, the panties down, and you should brace yourself against the window.” You obey and put a hand flat against the window, raising your hips in offering to him. “That’s my good girl,” Brendon murmurs as he rocks into you from behind. “Seventeen years together, so she knows exactly how she likes me to fuck her. Such a good girl, my Angel. But she’s my dirty girl too, isn’t she? Look at her, on her knees in the back of this car, showing me her wet pussy, spreading herself with two fingers, showing me exactly where she wants my cock. Yes, honey, yes, you know I’m gonna give you my cock,” Brendon groans as he starts moving slowly.

“Brendon!” You yelp his name, and he spanks you gently. You give a small squeal of pleasure at the contact and push back for more; he obliges and moves faster, moaning your name as he works. Carefully, you move your other hand to the window so you can fully brace yourself against the glass. You spread your knees slightly so you’re more stable on the cushion of the backseat; Brendon shifts with you and just the feeling of his hands on your hips as he thrusts into you hard is overwhelming your senses. “Yes, Brendon, yes!” Your voice breaks with pleasure and he moans, kissing your neck and digging his fingers into your hips.

“My - Angel - gets - fucked - good - for - her - birth - day,” he pants, filling you fast and hard with one hand moving to rub your clit while the other wraps your hair around his fist, tugging gently and making you moan louder than you have yet. “That’s right,” he murmurs in your ear. “Let me hear how much you love getting fucked in our car like we’re still horny teenagers. Desperate for each other, can’t keep our hands off each other; just want to fuck you til we both collapse—you like that, Angel? You gonna come on your husband’s hard cock?”

“Brendon! Love it, love you, love your cock, oh fuck fuck fuck! Brendon, make me come!” You’re gasping and moaning and bucking back against him, head tipped back so he can hear you clearly. “Fuck me, make me come!”

“My Angel wants to come all over my cock?”

“Please!” You’re whimpering now and he bites your neck lightly, making you squeal and tighten around him as he thrusts hard.

“Good girl, begging for it. Come,” Brendon tells you, doubling his pace before bending over you and resting his hand on the window to keep himself upright. “Oh fuck, Y/n, I’m gonna come, gonna make me come!”

“Ooooh shit!” Your words come out high and loud, and you push back onto him as you come. “Oh fuck shit Brendon yes fuck fuck fuck!”

“Angel, fu—” Brendon just manages his pet name for you before his body tenses over you and you feel him come, fast and hot. “Yes, fuck yes…”

Both of you are breathing hard and trying to steady yourselves when he pulls back and out of you. “Fuck,” you say with a breathless laugh as you turn around and curl into him. “The car has changed, but we have not.” He laughs too, dropping a hand down to fix your hair. “Do we have napkins or anything? We have to go be polite and civilized and appropriate at this party, don’t we? And I’m fucking soaked and have your cum dripping out of me. God.”

Brendon groans, settling into the seat beside you and running a hand through his own hair before he guides his pants back up into place. “Fuck, you’re so damn sexy. I think there’s a pack of tissues in the glove compartment. I’ll check.” Leaning forward now, Brendon rummages through the glove box and center console, finally producing a few napkins. “Here we are. But I’ll be honest, the thought of you wet and dripping with us all night is not a bad one,” he says with a laugh. “Just think about it; the two of us slow-dancing, my hand pressed to the small of your back, mouth dipping down to your ear to ask if you’re still wet for me. We both know you will be.” You whine and swipe between your legs before tugging your panties up into place.

“You’re being a tease,” you tell him, pushing your dress down before resting your head on his shoulder.

“Maybe a bit. Should I be sorry?”

“No, probably not.” you smile up at him, snuggling into his chest as he drapes an arm around you. “We broke tradition,” you point out, tracing hearts on his pant leg. He gives you a curious look, and you smirk. “We always fucked in the car after whatever we were at because we couldn’t or didn’t want to go home.”

“Oh no,” Brendon says in mock horror, grinning a little. He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text and when he catches your inquisitive look, he laughs. “I just asked Steph to stay later with the kids.” You raise an eyebrow, and Brendon squeezes your thigh affectionately. “I asked because it sounds like I’ll have to fuck my perfect wife in the car again before we get home to our beautiful children. My life is so hard, clearly.” He gives you a faux-longsuffering expression, making you laugh.

“Mmmm, your life is hard,” you agree, kissing his cheek and palming him through his pants. “Just make sure that when we leave this party, your cock is too.”

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x16

*this episode put me through it, also the character building for Lois is perfection (also, if you see any typos just close your eyes, it was late and I was emotional)*

Clark looks so suspicious😭😭 Jonathan too, the way he's eyeing that food lmaooooo

Please😭

"I'm willing to sleep in the barn." "No that's okay, Lois can sleep in the barn." LOL Clark

sass levels through the roof today for him

Look at how proud Lois is listing all of Lucy's achievements😭 She's the best wtf I love her

"Wow, that's impressive. What happened to Lois?"

He has the time of his life dragging her PLS

"You're gonna find that Clark's charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion." he had that coming

Lois said TRY ME BISH

pls even Lucy is noticing the tension😭

she wasn't playing with that shoulder punch💀

Yeah, Jason is not letting those stones go💀

I really feel for Lana, I feel like she just lives in constant fear bc there's always some weird shit happening around her

Lucy flirting with Clark, just pls no💀

"Lois I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but ever since Lucy came to town you've been grumpier than normal."

I love this whole conversation between them🥹

Also Clark making it so obvious he's an only child from a loving family, bless him

"You might be a little rough around the edges but as far as sisters go, Lucy could do a lot worse." EXACTLY

anyone who has Lois in their life won the lottery, not even an exaggeration she's the absolute best🤷🏻‍♀️

"I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous she got out and I didn't."

LOIS BBY LET ME HUG YOU LET ME LOVE YOU

the way she's like 'oh fuck I was vulnerable, gotta blast🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️', same Lois, same

Clark looks so worried too😭

this is so wholesome🥹

I think those electric shocks left him with some permanent damage because Jason seems obsessed now👀

Okay let me rephrase, he doesn't just seem obsessed, he's completely unhinged. They fried his brain🤡

Clark is in disappointed dad mode again, he's so natural at it too😭

"You're not mom alright, so stop trying to be." That hurt me personally, goddamn

LMAOOOOO

also, is this the first episode where we see Lex and Lois in the same frame?👀

Lucy you snake

LOIS DON'T YOU EVER SAY OR THINK THAT

To everyone who contributed to her feeling this way, I just want to have a talk

This is breaking my heart, the world doesn't deserve her😭😭

Their dad really failed at parenting HARD

no because this hurts fr, I want to hug her so bad

she deserves to know that she's wanted and loved, SOMEBODY TELL HER

I can't get over the fact that she thinks that her life is less important than that of her sister

Clark defending Lois is something that can be so personal😭 (She deserves a good support system and friends who have her back idc)

I'm getting very emotional about this excuse me

You know I love a character when I need everyone else to love them too. Like I need every other character on this show to appreciate how amazing Lois is.

"I'm a product of my father's breeding. He needed an heir. But your parents chose you out of love."

No because that's so important and I think it explains why both Lex and Lois are so (for the lack of a better word) fascinated with the Kents.

(ok I paused the episode and wrote like 4 paragraphs of character analysis prompted by that quote but idk what to do with them and if they make any sense, maybe I'll make a separate post🤡)

I need you guys to understand how much it means to me that he really cares about Lois😭

Not even in any sort of romantic context, just that someone genuinely cares if she's okay or not because she's obviously never really had someone take care of her😭😭😭

I mean listen, good for Lionel that he's not an absolute monster anymore but he really needs to stay out of Lex's business💀💀

WAIT A MINUTE HOLD ON.

HOLD ONNNNNN

Did Lana vandalize her own apartment? Or did she just hide the stone and whoever searched for it didn't find it? In any case she's learning how to play the game, good for her😌😌

Okay, first of all: More reasons to love Lois, she's self-aware and she can admit when she's wrong about something. Seriously I love her.

Second: Again, they way she's ready to be kicked out of the farm for something that wasn't even her fault??? MR. SAM LANE, SAMMY, GENERAL LANE, I'D LIKE TO HAVE SOME WORDS WITH YOU. Seriously though, this speaks volumes about how she grew up and it breaks my heart.

Third: The way she tries to be so casual and 'Lois' when she says it, I have very similar defense mechanisms and again, it hurts my heart.

"Yeah... actually I came here to tell you we have food in the oven if you're hungry."

Lois learning what unconditional love looks like through the Kent family is the only thing that matters to me, actually

"You know, all these years I thought I had my sister pegged but... in reality? She's a complete stranger to me." "Even if that were true, I think that if she called you tomorrow you'd be there in a second to help her."

I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW, HE DOES KNOW HER😭

SHE KNOWS HIM TOO😭😭

"I guess that explains why we're friends." "Oh, we're friends now?" "Well, I mean, I won't tell anyone if you don't."

Yes you are and I'm so glad bc you're the most amazing people to ever exist😭

Clark deserves someone like Lois in his life and Lois deserves someone like Clark in her life, yes I'm on the verge of tears AND WHAT ABOUT IT

CHEMISTRYYYYY

shoulder punch my beloved🥹

CHEMISTRYYYYYY

do you think these people knew they just created perfection?😭

🎶now it all begins🎶

written in the stars and all that, I love my OTP

More importantly though, I love Lois Lane she's everything and she deserves all the love in the world.

[facingdeath-a-blog]

 i spent quite some time reading those few fics that exist, and it’s time to like........ say something. about the hogwarts house thing, and the fact that regulus dying bravely apparently translates into he should have been in gryffindor, which naah bro. two things can be true.

so sure, his name is a bit of a punk’d situation, because it's applied to a star called alpha leonis in the constellation leo, which basically means the heart of the lion. does it translate into nobility and bravery? yes. does it translate into being a gryffindor? no.

that being said, i also believe that the sorting hat did consider putting him a gryffindor. he had certain possible qualities, and a brother there already, and the sorting hat is a fickle thing, as we all know. and i think it was a situation much like it was for harry, except flipped because regulus always knew he was going to slytherin. not even because of his parents, although majorly because of that also ; but his nature and values were primarly slytherin.

so, all in all the way harry wanted anything but slytherin and got gryffindor, regulus wanted to be a slytherin. which he became. which he was until the last day of his life. the slytherin pride in his room wasn’t some fake construct, you know?

gryffindors don’t have a monopoly for bravery, as slytherins don’t have a monopoly for being cunning, ravenclaws for being smart, and hufflepuffs hardworking. being a human being means you’re complex, and often times contradicting.

as bravely as regulus died, as much as he fashioned his death to leave one dramatic big fuck you to voldemort, do you think he would have done half the things he had done if his primary setting wasn’t slytherin? i mean, probably, but he still lived his life and died as a slytherin.

plus the kind of loyalty and bravery slytherins possessed is different. i bet no one expected someone like regulus to do a thing like that. and to say more, nobody even knew, because he made sure they didn’t, so his family remained safe.

TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

[bokutoslittlebird]

UHMMM EXCUSE ME BUT BOKUTO X ONEE-SAN IS JUST 😳🥵. I'm a different anon from the last one but omg, is it okay to ask more??? Maybe an MSBY Bokuto now or idk what if his onee-san finally gets pregnant (if you're okay with that). Thank yoy so much!

I got like four fics where the reader ends up pregnant I’m definitely fine with writing pregnancy lmao I’ve looked it up so many times I have a notebook of pregnancy symptoms and baby delivery. I do need to start writing down baby names tho bc my computer keeps asking me when I’m expecting

Mission : Corrupting Onee-san ; Bokuto, part 3

Kōtarō was a bit upset a week after the.. incident. You weren’t showing any common signs of pregnancy.

He researched it at least six different times, expecting to match something in your behavior to one of them. Each time he realized you weren’t pregnant, it was hard on you. Well, he was hard on you. Forcing his cock into you while you thrashed and tried to get him off, only to be met with the brick wall that is your little brother. He hardly even noticed you, often off in his own delusions until after he spilled his load into you. Even then, your fucked out face and overstimulated hole always had him raring to go again, this time with his focus on how good you made him feel.

With it being a month into his stay at your house, you wondered if your family would get suspicious about it. When he told you he’d be trying out for the MSBY Black Jackals, it fell into place. That’s why he was staying at your house, with the added bonus of being there if you needed anything. From someone else’s perspective, it would seem like he was a golden child with a heart of gold. In your eyes, you just saw a monster with a goal and determination to see the goal through. Kōtarō never shied from any questions your son had, either. Answering every question quickly and maturely, as if he knew the kid would ask it. He’s able to manipulate you and your son but you can’t do anything to stop him, not when he holds power over you.

Kazuki loves his uncle, his Oji-san a lot. You know he does. He’s always enjoyed visiting your parents’ house to see Kōtarō who would tell him stories, but you find he often lets his adoration for Kōtarō blind him. In his eyes, Kōtarō is a perfect human being and can do no wrong.

“Oji-san?” Kazuki’s little head pops up from under the table. You jump at his sudden appearance, especially if he came from under the table. With Kōtarō having you firmly placed on his lap, you wonder how your son would see the situation.

“Yeah, squirt?” He still smiled at Kazuki, not seeing anything wrong with the situation. Not seeing anything wrong with the way he has a steel grip on your hips and keeps rubbing his hardening cock into your clothed pussy.

“When you both go to bed, why does mommy scream?” Your eyes widen at his question, panicking. How do you answer that? He’s so young—

“Oh! Mommy has some bad nightmares, but it’s okay! I’m there to take care of her!” Kōtarō wraps his arms around your middle, warm hands sliding along your stomach. “Isn’t that right, mommy?”

“Yes, Kōtarō, it—“ your words were interrupted with a shriek, feeling Kōtarō pinch the skin on your hips.

“Mommy, are you okay?!”

“Yes, dear. I’m fine. Uh, daddy just startled me, that’s all.” With the new situation and lack of anyone else, Kōtarō wanted to fully move into the ideal family life. Including his title. Kazuki didn’t bat an eyelash, just nodding and eagerly going to play with his toys. A present from Kōtarō.

“We talked about that, nee-san,” Kōtarō’s breath tickled your ear, a warm tongue licking the shell of it. A shiver went down your spine, feeling his bulge get harder underneath you. “Kazuki needs to see me as a father figure now. Especially since he’ll have a baby brother soon,”

“What makes you so sure it’ll be a boy?”

“I have faith. Need strong boys to protect mommy while daddy’s busy at work,” the talk of you having his offspring has him raring to go, a dark cloud covering his eyes as he ruts up against you. You find yourself face down on the dinner table while Kōtarō eagerly strips off your panties and your jeans. It’s nothing for him to pull his cock out of his sweats, eagerly rubbing the mushroom tip against your folds. Even if your mind and heart don’t want it, that doesn’t stop the slick from pooling into your panties and coating your folds. Your hole is nice and wet for him, ready for his fat cock to split you open.

“Kō, we- we can’t! Zuki-“

“If you keep quiet, he won’t know,” he hisses in your ear, his hand digging into the fat of your ass. It’s a warning to be quiet. Kōtarō usually enjoys your voice, how you scream and beg when he’s filled you to the brim, but now he needs you to be quiet since you’re on the table.

Pushing his cock into you is something he’ll never get tired of. He loves the warm feeling of your cunt and how tight your walls are around him, you’re all sticky and wet, allowing him to slide right in. He doesn’t stop, not for a moment, feeling you holding back your moans as he bottoms out. Even with your hesitance, your body knows he makes you feel good. It has him slapping his hips to your ass while he cages you to the table, pressing you down with his chest. Your nails scratch the table, trying to find something to hold on to when his hands snake up under them, squeezing while he rams into you. It’s enough to squeeze his hands while he brings you to an orgasm, his balls slapping against your clit while your walls squeeze around him, sucking him in.

“K-Kō-chan, I-“

“I’m almost there, hold on, baby,” he whispers, his mouth right next to your ear. You don’t know whether he’s talking to you or the possibility of a child resulting in this, but you find his hips stuttering, a low groan as he stills inside you. Your walls milk him dry, another orgasm as you coat him in your own release. He doesn’t pull out, keeping still inside you while you both come down your high.

“It’s Kazuki’s bedtime. I need to tuck him in,” You break the silence, squirming as the feeling of Kōtarō’s cock in you, and his cum, has become awkward.

“I’ll do it,” he presses a kiss to your hair, removing himself from you. He’s quick to pull your panties and jeans back up, keeping his cum from mostly coming out. “After all, I gotta be a good dad, don’t I?”

With Kōtarō constantly leaving the house for practice with the Black Jackals, he leaves you alone. Taking care of Kazuki was your only chore, really. With Kōtarō earning plenty of money and you having the insurance money from your recently deceased husband and daughter, you were not financially unstable. Most of your money had gone to special pills to prevent pregnancy, making sure you had one each time after Kōtarō spilled inside you. Labeled as vitamins, you easily took them all the time in front of Kōtarō as he didn’t bat an eye. They seemed to work, suspending the pregnancy as each day you turned out and took the test, only one line popping up.

You thought you were safe.

When your vitamins went missing, you didn’t know where to turn. After the table sex and the bedtime routine, you needed those pills. Looking through each cabinet, you couldn’t find it. When you asked Kazuki, he seemed innocent enough. The only possibility was that Kōtarō had found out and taken them out. You had to wait until he returned from practice before you could confront him.

When he finally popped through the door, Kazuki went to go hug him. “Oji-san!”

“Hey, hey, hey! We talked about that, squirt,” a darkness looms in his eyes, but his smile is bright and blinding.

“Sorry, daddy. I’m not used to it,” he looks downright guilty, as if he did something wrong. Kōtarō’s big hand plops on top of Kazuki’s head.

“It’s alright. You’ll get used to it eventually, especially once you have a little brother,”

“I’m gonna have a little brother?!” Bouncing on his feet, Kazuki turned to you. The smile you sported was more of a cringe, but you nodded.

“That’s the plan. Daddy, can we talk?” Kōtarō eagerly follows you, handing a new toy to Kazuki as if he doesn’t have over 20 new toys. Kōtarō doesn’t stop in front of you, rather hugging you close to him as you feel his hardened cock rubbing against your leg. “Kōtarō we need to talk. About serious stuff.”

“If it’s about those Plan B pills, I flushed them down the toilet,”

“Wha- flushed? Those were my vitamins!”

“You aren’t taking anything that risks serious health problems if you don’t take it. Not only that, you’re not under any prescription medications. From now on,” he says, voice low and commanding. Pulling from you, you look into his eyes to see something sinister in them, as if his delusion is becoming tangible. “You’ll be taking what I give to you. No more caffeine, no more wine before bed, yes I know you drink a glass while getting ready, and no more vitamins without my permission. After all, our future is dependent on this.”

With his declaration of claiming you, officially deciding to prevent anything that could stand in his way, you felt sick as you took another test, the single line being joined by a matching one. You couldn’t hide it, you couldn’t throw it away, he’d know the truth regardless. You always showed him negative results, so the test going missing would mean he knew it was positive. Kōtarō waits on your bed — his, too, now — as you weigh your options. With shaky hands, you open the bathroom door as he perks up, his face smiling as if he knew the answer already. With his hair down and still damp from the bath, you see how attractive he is, his muscles flexing as he gets up to see the result. Showing him the plastic piece, he can’t hide his excitement.

“I’m gonna be a dad! You’re gonna be a mommy! Well, we are, but this time for reals!” He’s so excited, it’s easy to find yourself smiling with him, caught up in the excitement. When he puts you down, it’s on the bed and he’s quickly crawling to cage you in. “I say this is cause for a celebration.”

“Kōtarō, what about mom? And dad? And our sisters? They’ll find out eventually, won’t they? We’ll be disowned,” your panicked voice stops him, straddling you as his hand goes to his chin. As if he’s thinking.

“Well, lets just cut ties with them. I’m a member of one of Japan’s Division 1 volleyball teams. I make enough money for us to be stable comfortably, not to mention the money you have from insurance. That way,” he licks his lips, leaning over you again, “I can have you all to myself,”

[bella-donna418]

Cottagecore Family Life

A/N: I really wanted to do this headcanon lol

I'll continue living in this life of delusion don't @ me

~~~

Best place for this will be Switzerland like cottagecore let's go! (also bcs of this LOL LIKE THE BIO IS LITERALLY JUST 😂😂😂)

The nature around them is just filled with pretty flowers and butterflies could be seen especially in mornings and birds love singing at their place

Eren and Mikasa just looking after their child, especially Mikasa.

Also they'd probably have 2-5 children and they'll be so pretty and cute 🥺🥺🥺

Their children's energy are basically Eren and Mikasa's staminas combined (ultimate energy here)

Eren would be chasing the ones running and oh boy.

An unattended child has found an axe—

Mikasa walks right on the spot and sees their child about to get a hold of it so she immediately runs to them (luckily the baby is asleep inside the room she came from)

She'll scold the child in a gentle but stern manner be like, "No touching your dad's tools, understand?"

The child would just nod while looking down.

Eren joins in the scene with their other little one and oop—

His eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he saw what's going on (especially that they're near the axe)

Mikasa looks at Eren—sighing and said, "You should keep your tools somewhere where they can't see or touch them."

He'd nod slowly, "Right. I forgot about the axe here..."

He then puts down their little one and it immediately runs and hugs Mikasa's waist.

During bedtime, they love watching their parents dance to a music box (given by Annie as a gift for Mikasa when she heard the news she was pregnant)

Sometimes they'd sing a lullaby in duet and their children would slowly fall asleep (JUST IMAGINE THEM SINGING REMEMBER ME FROM THAT COCO DISNEY MOVIE OK?)

But sometimes Mikasa's on her own making the children fall asleep (when she forced Eren to take a rest lol)

Like imagine her singing the chorus part of "safe and sound" by Taylor Swift 🥺🥺🥺

Everytime they get nightmares they'd run to their parents' room and Mikasa will be the one to get up and open the door.

She'd be like, "Why up so late in the night—wait, why are you crying?"

Then the child explains and Mikasa just picks the smol child up and goes to the couch in the room with books at the table beside it.

She'd then read her a funny story and then the kid/s would just laugh.

Eren's a "deep" sleeper sooo....

Mikasa then sings the lullaby she'd sing when she's on her own to make the children sleep.

The child falls asleep and Mikasa acknowledges this and carries them back to the kids' room and settles them in their bed.

Mikasa would finally go back to bed—thinking Eren's still asleep.

But then Eren's like, "You're voice sounds like an angel's."

She'd find herself smacking a pillow at him and he just chuckles.

Mikasa would now lay down and Eren turns around from his position and cuddles her.

~~~

Their children are always curious.

They'd go outside and play, pick some flowers and make flower crowns, or read some books (most were sent by Armin), run around to catch butterflies, and more.

As they grew up, the girls would always be with Mikasa if they want, and the boys would stick with Eren (it actually depends on whether they're a daddy's or mommy's girl/boy)

Overall, their children would learn how to cook, do embroidery, chop wood, doing custom house decorations, and more.

During birthdays, they'd be visited by their uncles and aunts along with their little ones—if they have (you know who they are 😂😂😂)

The children would receive so many gifts—heck, they'd all be spoiled by them especially by Zeke (best uncle award)

They'd also play with the others' children (like they'd always play tag outside while the parents are indoors having a chat 🥺👉👈)

Their teenage years were quite more chaotic than their childhood (curse of puberty)

At random times, they'd argue to each other and Mikasa will just look at Eren and be like, "You're turn to break it up."

Eren would just sigh and try to break the bicker up and Mikasa would just stand by the door and watch.

He'll approach them and be like, "What are you fighting about?"

The bickering two would look at him and start pointing at each other and start shouting then glaring at each other—debating again.

Poor Eren gotta deal with this and Mikasa couldn't help but snicker at her spot.

Personality-wise they got the temperamental attitude from Eren while the calm demeanor from Mikasa.

Eren would look at the door and see Mikasa standing and giving her an 'um, help?' look.

Mikasa deciding to be mean, smirks and leaves to go to the kitchen and cook.

Eren felt "betrayed" because of her actions (your guy gotta deal with 2 hot headed teens in a phase arguing for some reason)

But Eren managed to calm them down.

They're all calm and collected, the 2 are no longer screaming and Eren began asking questions.

Mikasa decides to take a peek inside to see what's going on now

Eren would be like, "Ok, what's the real matter why your fighting? Don't yell, I'm asking you calmly."

They'd then start talking about who's wrong and all, and giving a few more minutes, they finally got along.

Eren internally was like, 'Fucking finally.'

Mikasa, seeing this, can't help but smile so she finally decided to come inside then looked at their teens and was like, "Glad you got along."

Eren just looked at her—not even bothering to ask why later since she looks happy about it.

Ooooh of course, their reactions when Eren starts snaking his arms around Mikasa's waist and just resting his head on her shoulder in front of the kids.

When they were young, they were just giggling.

But now, oh god it's so funny (not really lol)

They're literally like "👁👄👁 uhm you're gonna flirt in front of us?"

The two would just look at each other and laugh knowing how much they've grown.

In times of comforting children when it comes to love issues.

Best love expert award goes to...

Lol sorry it's Zeke.

Sometimes Zeke visits and if he sees one of them looking sad or something, assuming it's about love and all, he'd go up to them and be like, "You know, there's a quote that says; there's many more fish in the sea."

The teen would look at him surprised he knew and be like, "Yeah..."

And then there goes all things about love to Zeke.

If uncle Zeke ain't around, Mikasa would be the one dealing the problem.

You wonder for Eren? Pfft- he'd always be like, "Uhh... Ask your mom I guess..." (Please don't laugh at Eren 😂😂😂)

But in terms of practical things, Eren's the best at it.

They also taught their children self-defense so when they need it, they can use it.

In terms of their girls entering a relationship with a guy...

Overprotective dad mode on for Eren and be like, "Who's the guy? I need to talk to him."

Mikasa would just smile and instead, congratulate them and give advices.

Since Eren told their girl to bring her "boyfriend" he'd have an intimidating aura and the guy is just scared shitless (poor dude)

But in the end, Eren would just sigh and be like, "Just... don't hurt her, ok?"

To be honest, Mikasa is the one more relieved than their girl 😂😂😂

But living a peaceful life, they watched their kids grow into who they are and damn they're the prettiest beings ever (their genes are just ✨✨✨)

And when they get old, their children would always make time to visit them and at least take care of them.

Especially when it's their birthdays, they'd ALL come back at the home where they were raised with love and care 😭😭😭

It's the fact their children just cares for them even if they had their own lives/families.

To make me even cry more, Eren and Mikasa would be playing with their grandkids while their grown up child is just making some meal for all of them. (Old and gray EM with their grandkids, anyone?)

~~~

A/N: FINALLY!!!

Ok ngl this looks like the most decent headcanon I've ever made 😭😭😭

And fun fact: I cried while making this

AND I STILL AM 😭😭😭

[self-loving-vampire]

@melancholygirlfrien said:

I have a Child Development Associate so I am literally professionally certified to tell you that yes, taking children and babies to places so they can learn how to function and see that they're a part of a world bigger than they are, is important to their social, emotional, and language development. It helps everything from motor skills to social skills and cognition Just because you find babies' cries annoying doesn't mean parents are selfish just for wanting to take their children outside. Children shouldn't be raised indoors all day in a fucking bubble because that's how developmental issue happen. If a child is isolated they can develop serious issues.

Note that there are more appropriate places you could be taking them to, for starters. Places where people can avoid the noise more easily and where it might be less disruptive.

Like, you have options beyond “indoors 100% of the time” and the kinds of locations I mentioned in my first reply to you. Like, you can still take them to places like parks, malls, and other locations where it would be less of an issue.

No it's not fucking self centered for a parent to take their baby outside because they're just doing what they gotta do , not everyone can afford child care especially people of lower socioeconomic status. There are many single mothers who have no other option but to take their baby everywhere because that's what their situation calls for. The only fucking person being self-centered and not considering the struggles of other people is you.

Again, notice the kinds of places I mentioned in my post before going off on straw arguments. My complaints about others involve places like restaurants, the movies, and airplanes.

These are not only places where a child crying can ruin other people’s experience and be inescapable, they’re also places where many of the people there are not poor and had other options for what to do about their situation.

Like, I would think differently about someone who brought their baby to a clinic’s waiting room (for example) as opposed to a flight to Miami.

Black and white thinking is not going to help you understand what other people’s issues are.

No I wouldn't tell someone whos scared of my snake to go suck it, even though I would have every right to. Like I said I understand when people have phobias of certain animals. There might be people out there who have a phobia of dogs but does that mean people who take out their dogs are being selfish and don't care about people who have trauma/phobia associated with dogs?? Fuck no, those people are just being responsible dog owners and doing what every dog owner should which is take their dog out for a walk. Just bc some people might be annoyed by their dog doesn't mean they're being self-centered and bad people.

And yet there are places where they probably should not take their dog because it would be either inconsiderate or outright banned, and if they insisted on doing so then they probably are self-centered.

Like, if you want to take your babies out for a walk or something around the house that’s not nearly as bad as what I was actually complaining about.

your life isn't gonna be fucking ruined from hearing a baby cry in public. The most you'll be is annoyed and anxious for a few moments and then it will go away. Suck it up.

Did I ever say anyone’s life was going to be ruined? Why do you make everything some kind of exaggerated strawman?

Here are some exact quotes you already forgot about:

“It’s not the worst thing but it’s still kind of inconsiderate“

“No one said anything about stopping them or suspending their rights in any way, only that noise is annoying (and especially painful to autistic people with sensory issues).“

“Um… what do you think I do? Activate Karen Mode and go bother the parents about it? Nah, I just judge them silently. I am free to complain as much as I want on the internet though.“

So:

1- I am not treating it as a huge, life-ruining thing, just a sort of dick move. Like people who cut in line or something.

2- I do “suck it up” when it happens but am 100% allowed to complain about it online anyway.

Tbh I can't keep talking to you, I think people like you should be ushered into a dark warehouse and humanely put down.

Empathy-havers are so humane they advocate genocide against autistic people apparently, over a post about baby noises being kind of annoying. I’m not even surprised because you all keep doing this every single time without even thinking about how it sounds.

Maybe you should think about how the things that make children annoying (they're egotistical, they have a hard time empathizing with ��others because of their self-centered world view) are traits that you have yourself. The difference is that most children develop and grow out of that self-centered world view

If you actually read my post, the primary annoyance I pointed out was that they were Portable Sensory Hell. I made no comment about their ability to feel empathy and actually find low empathy people significantly less annoying than others so that’s clearly not it.

You're a child in my eyes tbh. Your mentality is childish. Say what you will but I would like to remind you again, at one point in your life, you were a baby, and you shit your pants, and someone had to clean up all that shit after. Or else you wouldn't be here.

You know, if you’re going to go around advocating genocide over a post about people not liking baby noises then I am 100% sure my literal child self was morally and intellectually superior to your current self already.

You know what would make me respect you more? If you owned up to the fact that you judging parents when their babies cry is a result of your low empathy and self-centered world view. I would respect you SO much more if you just said "Yo, straight up. I'm just a selfish person. I know babies can't help that they cry and it's not the parents fault but I straight up do not like that shit. I have low empathy as a person and therefore I can't really bring myself to care about babies, children, or the parents and their situation so I just judge parents because I want to. Because their kid is annoying the shit out of me. I don't care about the reasoning tbh I'm just kind of an asshole."

> Implying I care about whether or not you respect me.

Also, this isn’t even correct. At my current point in life I pretty much never have to interact with babies in any way, if I was completely selfish then it would not matter to me now whether or not people bring their crying babies into airplanes and the like. The issue just isn’t a very significant part of my life.

But the thing is that while I am low empathy that does not change the fact that I value other people’s well-being and know that crying babies make their lives worse even if just in a small, temporary way.

The kinds of parents I am complaining about don’t even think about that.

You know you're just incompassionate. So be a self-respecting sociopath and own up to that shit, please, I would respect a stone cold evill mf  SO much better than a little weasel who tries to give excuses as to their own egocentric way of thinking.

I am a narcissist, not a sociopath. Of course, if cluster B disorders are just standard insults to you then you might think all low empathy conditions are the same.

Furthermore, you haven’t shown that you understand anything at all about what low empathy conditions are actually like.

Also I find it really telling that you would prefer unrepentant evil selfishness over someone who merely understands and sides with others who are negative about loud babies. Like, actual morality is not something you seem to be valuing here.

"iF I wErE iN tHaT sItUaTiOn I wOuLd jUsT sTaY hOme!" No you wouldn't you stupid bitch because parents have to go out to buy groceries, and run errands like every other adult.

Again, you seem to be treating all of “outside the house” as an interchangeable space with the exact same norms.

Like, do you realize how it might be different to bring your child out for necessary grocery shopping than to bring them to a restaurant or the movies? Do you really think I would treat those things as exactly the same?

MOST parents, especially working-class, poor, or single parents, DON'T have that option, as I already stated. And you are showing a clear lack of regard for people who are in a tougher situation than you for judging parents when their babies annoy YOU. You are literally not putting yourself in their shoes at all bc you have no idea of even half the shit parents have to do in order to make ends meet and look after their babies.

Oh, I am well aware of how having babies will multiply your suffering, especially if you’re poor. It’s precisely why I’m never having any! 

I understand it’s a huge pain and people with children are always going on and on about how their lives became significantly more miserable as a result of it.

I think you should honestly love that screaming toddler on the plane because in a few decades she might grow up to become the nurse who will take care of you when you're old and ill.

This argument just doesn’t work one way or another. If the baby is going to help me then I will be grateful once that actually happens, not based on a hypothetical so unlikely I might as well live my life not considering it.

[hwanuels]

n.jm: where were you?

summary: y/n does not know what the fuck is going on half of the time. 

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

warning: a lot of cursing, drug usage reference, crackheadness, maybe a lot of grammer error. this is my first bullet-scenario au so yeah. also! this a collab with the lovely @huangsren in out nct dreamies alternate universe teehee. she has a lovely, fluffy renjun one up so go read it!

part two!

you okay let’s get this collab with @huangsren 

so at NCT High if you don't know Na Jaemin who the hell are you? like everyone knows this kid from lunch ladies to the freaking janitors 

its not a surprise since the dude is literally dead drop gorgeous and has a shit ton of social skills. like the boy deadass can swindle his way out of detention (which he did) with just a wink 

typical fboi but instead of it being a huge turn-off, girls still throw themselves on him even when he WARNS them beforehand that he isn't looking for a serious thing

still, they get attached and heartbroken when he tells them “this isn’t working out” 

his friends (aka art-hoe!renjun and student-athlete!jeno) always rolls their eyes when jaemin rolls up into the lunchroom with his arms wrapped around a new girl’s shoulder

“bet she’s not going to last two weeks”- renjun slapping down a 10$ 

“knowing him, this isn’t going to last more than a week”- jeno said but still sliding over a 10$ bill 

AND SUPRISE it doesn’t 

both renjun and jeno don’t approve of his philandering, but they stick w jaemin cause he’s still their best bud cause bros before hoes ya know what i mean?

this is especially true with jeno cause they’ve been bffl since they were like five but that doesn’t mean that jaemin is anything like jeno. 

nah man they both are the complete opposite of each other

like jeno is a quiet reserved student-athlete boi but jaemin out here acting like a little thotty 

nomin is like a package deal, no one can separate them

here where out little y/n comes in

surprisingly you’re childhood friends w nomin 

both u and jeno are neighbors and your families have been friends since before you were even conceived 

your moms’ have weekly tea times where they’d gossip about everything and anything while your dads would be watching the weekly soccer/football games drinking a cold one 

you and jeno would be playing with some legos or barbies 

jeno had a minor (major) barbie obsession which was probably induced by you

don’t tell anyone but jeno still binge-watches barbie movies;;;his favorite really be the princess charm school one 

like i said nomin is a package deal so expect jaemin to be taging along to yours and jeno’s weekly playdate

imagine you being the princess while jaemin pretended to be the prince and jeno was the dragon,,,yeah man it was so lit 

this isn’t a jeno fic btw keep in mind its still jaemin 

all of that stuff before was when the three of you were like kids

once highschool came around all three of you found ur niches: jeno was the student-athlete, jaemin was well that guy that was wanted by all the girls

and you were just a regular mundane student ya know,,,you weren’t extremely talented nor smart you just floated around 

u still hung around jeno tho but your friendship was really lowkey 

like both of y'all would wait until the other one was completely alone or do some ridiculous actions to deliver the simplest messages 

jeno would look both ways before slipping you a note in class that said “can your mom drive me home today?” and you would make sure no one was looking before nodding secretly 

or the two of you would hide behind bushes to say that y'all parents wanted to have dinner together tonight 

tbh yall could just text each other but where’s the fUN in that? 

jaemin, on the other hand, was someone you haven’t a solid conversation with since sophomore year bc of an incident 

basically, you had helped one of your friends into a relationship with jaemin that lasted for about two months,,, which was considerably a long time considering that it was jaemin.the two of them were a fat power couple 

ur friend, let’s call her ella, was probably one of the more popular girls at school. she was well-known for being the prettiest, kindest girl that everyone LOVES

anyways, things didn’t end so well bc he stood her up at hoco even though he was gonna be crowned homecoming king and her queen. 

no one knows why jaemin just ditched but he did. 

didn’t stick well with your friend tho cause she stopped talking to you as well not really giving you an explanation

and this led to everyone in your friend group to kinda put all the blame onto you 

this is also when jaemin picked up his heartbreaker reputation and began living up to that title

at first ur were hella mad and sad, but you got over it cause being outcasted and kicked out of that friend group led you to befriend the local stoner boi!haechan

honestly, you got over it but after ignoring and avoiding jaemin for a whole year it just stuck. 

yall never talked again 

here comes SENIOR YEARS BITS 

u were so done w school at this point, you had suffered and labored through junior year,,, SAT and ACT were the biggest bitches you ever faced in your lifetime and this is coming from someone who was friends with the resident shithead lee haechan 

so it’s lunchtime and you’re listening to haechan’s wild story about some shenanigan that he and his weed dealer/ older college friend mark had gotten up to the past weekend 

“so like we were just hitting a blunt this weekend in mark’s car and this cop pulls up next to us.mark rolls down the window and all of the smoke just hits the cops in the face” 

“you're a fucking idiot, haechan” 

“listen bitch, i’m not done” 

“so the cop is doing the regular illegal drugs bullshit and asked mark a question. understand at this point that mark is high as fuck so i kid you not the crackhead says quack. nothing else just quack. honestly, i still don’t know how we got out of that but we did and lee haechan is still in school.” 

you want to slap your friend with a big smh at this point 

but it so ridiculous and so haechan that you can’t say anything else 

and you don’t have too! bc someone taps ur shoulder pulling you out of your convo and boom it’s ella 

“hey, y/n” she starts out sweetly and you could feel haechan’s bitch face directed towards the girl, who seemed to just ignore the boy 

“what’s up, ella?” you were hella fucking slightly irritated and highkey suspicious bc like this was the first time that she talked to you in like two years

“this out of the blue, but you know how prom is coming up soon? we need extra hands on the planning community,” ella explained with a bright smile  “we need another person to work on making the centerpieces for each table, but we only have one person on that” 

“okay, so what does this have to do with her?” haechan’s bitchy tone soaked in each word 

ella’s smile faltered slightly at his words, but it was so subtle that only people with keen eyes could notice

“i hope that i’m not imposing anything on to you.” ella trying to reassure  “but Mr. Moon told me that you still need some community service hours for our graduation requirement so I just assumed that this would be a good opportunity for you.” 

oh shit 

you completely forgot about that and you still needed like another 10 hours to complete

“ummmm” 

“i wouldn’t ask you this but my workload is completely swamped” ella added “it would be a big help if you can help. haechan, you can help too!” 

haechan let out a loud gag that seemed to baffle her 

“oh hell no, i already got my community service hours done like freshmen year.” 

you gave haechan the most incredulous face you could make cause like this druggie who gets high every other week and vapes in the bathroom really finished his community service hours before you????how?? 

“don’t look at me like that.” haechan kicked you underneath the table “it was before i learned how to roll a blunt” 

“drugs aren’t good for you, haechan,” ella chided 

haechan made a mocking face,,you know the one he does like that one,,”not all of us can be little miss goodie-two-shoes like you” 

oKAy time to do some damage control before your shithead friend gets himself into more shit 

“i’ll do it. just text me the details.” 

“thank you so much y/n!” ella said before bouncing off 

“i hate her” haechan stated

“you hate everyone” 

CUE aFTerschool when you follow ella’s text to go to the art building where everyone was gathered 

the minute you walked in you realized that you should have just said no and done some other community service activity cause jaemin was present standing in the corner and other people who you once called your close friends that turned out to be fat snakes

now you gotta deal with them again (aww shit here we go again) 

ella is motioning you to come into the classroom which you obliged cause you figured that you possibly could survive w ur rbf on as you made your way to the other unoccupied corner

there was some whispering in the background but you ignored it cUASE like hyuk always says: “you just gotta get high and block out all the haters” 

well, he was right about the second half, not so much the first. 

“alright everyone! thank you so much for volunteering to help set up for our senior prom! we only have about three weeks so we have to get all of the decorations done as soon as possible!” ella said in a chirpy tone

a lot of people looked motived by the girl’s bubby short speech on how everyone needs to put in 100% of their effort. you zoned that out as you caught the sleeping figure at the teacher's desk 

“goddamn you mr.moon forcing me to be here” you grumbled in your head almost missing your assigned duty, 

“y/n!” your head snapped in the direction that your name was called 

you saw ella standing with jaemin and the sirens go off in your head 

FUCK THIS

you let out a loud sigh before trotting over to the two 

ella gave you a piece of paper that had the centerpieces’ picture on them along with a long list of decorations “all you guys have to do is make about 300. all the directions are on the sheet and the supplies are in the other room. it’s really simple, just have it done by next friday.” 

you nearly popped a blood vessel 

300 by next friday? today was wednesday so that meant you only had ten days to finish all 300 of them

so you and jaemin are walking to the classroom next door to get the supplies y’all needed,,, in your head, you were just cursing everything in existence for putting you into this position especially mr. moon 

“so how did she rope you into this?” you heard jaemin say from beside you as you both carried boxes out to the parking lot. 

you two came to the good conclusion to split the load so that he would do half and you would do half 

150 it’s not that bad 

15 a day

hell yeah

it was so strange and foreign talking to him since it’s been about two whole years.  

he had a nice voice tho ngl maybe that’s why he got out of that detention that one time 

“she somehow found out that i still needed to complete my community service hours before graduation” you murmured, praying that haechan remembered you telling him to wait for you after school 

he probably ditched you to get high or hang out with one girl he liked

all jaemin said was “oh” and the rest of the walk to the school’s parking lot was quiet 

the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and the knife would break

“hey can i ask you a question?” jaemin asked when the two of you were about to go your separate ways 

you could see mark’s old beat-down car meaning that haechan, in fact, did ditch you but had the decency to call up mark to pick you up 

“yeah, go ahead” 

“how come you still talk to jeno, but not me?” 

i shit you not this was the quietest and deepest voice that you ever heard jaemin project 

you didn’t know how to reply so you looked down at the large box in your hand, mumbling some incoherent excuse

“can you repeat that?” 

“ i said, we don’t really have any other reasons to be friend's unlike me and jeno” 

“is that all?” jaemin asked, probably catching onto your bullshit

you were probably delusional but you could’ve sworn you heard some sadness in the tone he used

you nodded quickly trying to get to mark’s car hoping to avoid further conversation 

but boy was jaemin stubborn 

“that wasn’t a good explanation,y/n! ” jaemin called out after you. 

this time he sounded more lighthearted than before

you turn around to face jaemin who had a fatass smile on his face 

damn was he good looking smiling like that 

“give me a better reason tomorrow or else i’m taking you on a date!” his dazzling smile nearly blinding you as he made his way to his own car

inside your head little y/n is going whattheactualfuck? 

“what’s with that shook face?” mark ask as you climbed into the passenger seat 

“what the fuck?” you say 

“huh?”

you look at mark “what the ACTUAL fuck?” 

poor mark is like wtf is wrong with her,,,did haechan get her on some type of crack? 

that night while you were making the little centerpieces you were still going over what jaemin said 

you looked at the last centerpiece you finish making 

was he flirting with me? or was he serious?

he sounded sad when i said that tho? 

at the same, this was jaemin, a boy who is well-known for having flings left and right. 

he’s probably just flirting

until next day! jaemin pops up next to you as while you get your shit from your locker for your first class 

“did you come up with a good explanation yet? 

his sudden appearance startled you causing you to subconsciously let out a yelp 

“cute” he said, and you forced down the blush that was about to show 

“i thought i told you already?” causing jaemin to shake his head like a cute little puppy 

“i don’t accept it.i want a better one,” he said sounding like a spoiled toddler 

you gave him the “wtf do you mean look” and he was about to reply until you saw haechan walking through the school doors with a pair of sunglasses on which can only mean one thing

that little shit head came to school high again

you pushed passed jaemin and stormed towards haechan pulling him to some vacant hallway to lecture him

leaving jaemin standing there staring at your backs as the two of you left 

jaemin’s smile dropping significantly as he nearly glared over at the two of you leaving, specifically at the back of haechan’s head 

“dude, why do you look like you’re going to murder someone?” jeno asked as jaemin sat next to him at their lab station 

you weren’t in this chemistry class but haechan was,,,and it was his naptime

“how is y/n friends with him?” jaemin stared directly at a sleeping haechan 

jeno follows his line of sight, letting out a sigh once he notices it was haehcan

“she never really told me, but i assume it was because she stopped being friends with ella and that group” jeno said honestly. he raised an eyebrow in question at his bffl “why do you need to know” 

jaemin didn’t answer him, continuing to glaring at the sleeping male 

jeno rolled his eyes at his friend's antics 

but in a serious tone, he warns to his friend, “don’t pull your games with y/n.” 

except jaemin’s head wasn’t registering this warning,,he was solely focused on how lee fucking haechan the biggest stoner of NCT High managed to take a girl’s attention from him, na jaemin....it was simply ridiculous 

maybe he really was an attention seeker bc he made a beeline for your table during lunch instead of his regular one once he saw just how loud you were laughing at haechan’s joke 

“what’s so funny?” jaemin asked sliding into the seat next to you 

now both of you and our boy hyuk is like wtf 

immediately you’re on defense, “what are you doing here?” 

“you never gave me a good explanation!” jaemin pouted, giving you fat puppy eyes 

those aLMost worked 

“uhhhhhh” you try to find a good excuse but jaemin quickly cuts you off 

“it’s okay if you don’t have a good explanation,” jaemin reaches over and steals a fry from haechan’s tray eliciting a hissing sound from the boy “you just have to go on a date with me” 

then he winks 

and he's gone

“what in the holy fuck just happened?” 

the amount of time that y/n has said wtf is unbelievable 

haechan’s sunglasses slip down the bridge of nose and you could see his red eyes giving you a look of disappointment, “and you say i have issues” 

“stfu before i slit your throat” 

the rest of the day wasn’t any easier on you tbh. you learned that jaemin was really really stubborn and very very clingy 

the boy deadass scanned the whole hallway to find your face so he could tag along with you to your next class even though you could have sworn that his class was one the other side of the school 

he kept on bombarding you with questions on what you wanted to get after school and if you like roller skating 

by some means, you were able to hide in the library for the rest of the study hall period which meant that you could probably avoid jaemin until school ended 

you spotted a familiar boy huddled in the corner reading a book that made you squint your eyes. 

marching over to jeno, your eyes just say “explain” 

jeno looked at you with like those wide eyes he does when he’s shookth bc the two of you never interacting in school so puBlicly

“what the hell is na jaemin trying to pull?” you whispered-yelled plopping down in the wooden seat next to the athlete 

jeno is all like????wydm 

and you explain your whole situation to him and he just lets out the biggest sigh 

“he doesn’t like being left on read” 

“what do you mean?” 

“i mean, that’s what you basically did to him sophomore year. he was kinda depresso about how you just stopped talking to him out of nowhere. by the way, why did you do that?” 

tbh you really didn’t know at first you were mad at him

was it bc his actions caused all your friends to blame you for his inability to commit to a relationship,,, but it’s been two years since that incident

you got over it, so why were you still avoiding jaemin? 

“i dunno after him and ella broke up, i didn’t have a reason to talk to him.” 

jeno looked at you like “really? is that your answer?” 

“think about that question again because i’m sure that that's, not the whole answer.” 

now you’re more confused but also very mad about how both of them weren’t accepting your reason as valid! 

so as you were furiously making the stupid centerpieces that ella forced you into volunteering to do

angry y/n really got through a solid 50 of them 

you pondered on jeno’s words and you thought back to sophomore year 

you remembered still joking around lightheartedly w jaemin until he started dating ella 

he actually spent a lot of time and effort even ditching jeno sometimes for her which was okay cause jeno would chill w renjun or even you (mostly bc he could watch barbie movies w no shame) 

everything was alright until homecoming came around and jaemin flaked on ella leading them to breakup the next day 

and ella to stop talking to you which made everyone mad you or think that you were the one that caused the breakup 

WHICH YOU DIDN”T 

you were the one that hooked the two of them up too! so it was really unfair! 

it's like 2 am and you don’t know what came over to text jeno but you did 

y/n: why didn’t jaemin go to hoco sophomore year? 

you felt instant regret after sending that text bc like it probably made it seem like you were interested in jaemin,,,, which you were totally not!

seconds later jeno slaps you with the ”ask him yourself”  

fattest facepalm 

so that’s how you spent the entire night finishing all of your centerpieces that you were assigned to make cuz of your frustration

wow we love a productive y/n 

alrighty this is where shit goes down 

now that you were done with all of your centerpieces you took them to the art room the next day before school where ella was there doing her stoof 

she looked up with a giant smile when you came in with a giant box 

“you finished all of it?” 

“nah just 150. jaemins finishing the other half” you set the box down 

“oh okie,” ella nodded returning to whatever she was doing beforehand 

since it was just the two of you in the classroom and you’ve been dying to know the answer since sophomore year 

so fuck it 

“hey ella, can i ask you a question?” 

the said girl looked up with that same friendly smile that she gave everyone “of course!” 

“why didn’t jaemin show up to hoco sophomore year?” you blurted out 

in an instant, ella’s smile dropped and there was a sudden cold look in her eyes 

“you already know the answer to that, y/n, you don’t need me to answer you. now if you excuse me, i have things i have to do” ella said in a very unlike-ella-way 

her answer made you even more confused than ever bc how were you supposed to know the answer to THAT 

confused!y/n is even more confused 

however, all your questions were about to be answered, not really tho 

you’re on your way to the third period with the same burning question in your head: why the hell did jaemin not show up to sophomore year hoco??? someone help?  

tbh you didn’t even notice someone yanking you into the janitor’s closet until you were surrounded in darkness and someone's hands were clasp over your mouth 

“it’s me, jaemin” his soft whisper sent tings down your spine 

he let go of your mouth to switch on the light 

“are you fucking insane?” 

“yes, but it’s only cause i’m madly in love with you” 

you rolled your eyes “cut the bullshit, jaemin, what do you want?” 

“our date. you never gave me a solid explanation, so i want a date” 

you were about to reject him but then an idea formed in your head 

“fine” 

and with that one-word jaemin’s eyes glowed 10x brighter with his smile almost blinding you 

cheesy i know. 

“let’s go now!” 

the boy was really about to skip class just to go on this stupid date w you 

is he that bored? did he really run out of girls to date? 

but then again you really don’t want to go to math bc you’re pretty sure there's a test today that you haven’t studied for yet 

so that’s how you found yourself with jaemin at the local ice cream parlor 

jaemin INSISTED that y'all share a sundae, which he also fought you to pay for 

there a silence that falls upon you for a little bit 

jaemin breaks it though like he breaks heart (okay minnie that’s kinda mean) 

“ella told me that you finished your half of the centerpieces in two days. that’s pretty impressive,” he comments 

you nodded staring at the ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup 

“to be honest, i haven’t gotten much done yet,” he admitted, continuing to ramble on “it’ll get done. i might even pay renjun to do it, but i’m pretty sure he’s too preoccupied with this girl that he’s been pining over for a while” 

“speaking of which, are you seeing anyone right now?” jaemin asks out of nowhere. 

“lol i could be doing other things with my time.” 

jaemin observes your face closely taking in the faint blush on your cheeks from his direct gaze, “so what about that haechan dude?” 

“what about him?” 

“are the two of you a thing?” 

you nearly gagged 

“there no way in hell i’d ever get with haechan. besides, he’s having some of his own girl problems right now. he was being a little bitch about it too” 

“good” jaemin says really contently. 

“why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year?” you finally asked

taken back slightly, jaemin softly smiles down at the half-eaten sundae

instead of answering you, he asked another question “why did you stop talking to me?” 

you gulp, but eventually, you had to tell him the truth even though it was kinda dumb and immature

“because ella was mad at me after the two of you broke up.” 

he shifted his gaze up to your own eyes 

“do you know why she was mad at you?” 

you shook your head

jaemin smiled again 

this time it kinda looked sad :( 

“because she knew that i was in love with you”  

[nochiquinn]

cinderbrush one-shot: sometimes your superpower is just that you’re a huge bitch

[insulin fund]

English Teacher Matt Mercer is not something I expected but I appreciate it

I am prepared to Die of Gay

"are four people coming onto me?"

mercer of ceremonies

fighting against these small town blues

is that a motherfucking overhead projector

erika. ma'am.

"I'm attempting a they" I've done that

"the horse girl"

plot twist, actual horse girl, is a centaur

oh it's percy

this is the teacher from boy meets world. the one who adopted shawn.

"I throw my book"

"oh my god I've hit SO many people"

jamie is the only "them", which feels entirely accurate for small-town high school

I'm not a violent person I just do violence

gonna punch twitch in the dick

"black heart" tal that's just you

mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

oh my god I want to punch sasha

jamie you had acid hallucinations

did they just hiss at the Interpersonal Relations

OH closet they/them, I feel that

matt get out a vis-a-vis marker and change their pronouns on the sheet

"yes, I said your full name and everything"

DUMBWOKE

he's a little confused but he's got the spirit

"my astrology app today said to take a chance ARE YOU SINGLE"

T1000 away

erika are you channeling nellie

"enjoying the company of a disaster" all my friends as soon as I enter a room

cameron is valid

"yeah, when they're hungry"

if you have an overhead projector you're gonna make the fucking most of it

amanda no

"pound sign" tal ur showing your age

my phone in high school played snake and that's it

I am aging by ten years every minute of this game

of COURSE they have a scooter

ooooHHHH

ashley's accent is cute

"oh for FUCK'S sake"

[throws salt at it] magic

welp, gotta kill him

technology fuck

"you knocked his tooth out!" "THEY PUT IT BACK" [/power rangers]

it's losing business to Junes

oh no, sweet dad, feel bad for

"I need to baptize myself!"

I feel like I knew at least three Affs in high school. This is not a complaint.

"cameron, please come address what I am pretty sure is some bullshit"

me: [throws cold water on the teenagers]

I'm so glad social media was still a baby when I was in high school

this is a 'shop, I know from the pixels and having seen a few 'shops in my time

"that is so something we would do"

"I'm wearing what I wore to school" why am I Aff

hi what the fuck

some purple stuff...

punch him in his other eye

is this the eldritch scooter music

"what about THAT"

cam's dad and aff's dad are opposite ends of the dad spectrum

"I need positive influences"

I WAS the positive influence that got invited to stuff bc people's parents would be like "oh well if [Nochi's] gonna be there it can't be THAT bad"

ride in the bed you cowards

mean girls walk

various gourds

oh no

oh NO

open mouth insert foot

cool I'm not looking at the screen for the next half hour

it's very cool! it just also hurts

aff your family owns a liquor store, if you're gonna break your dad's heart you could at least do it to buy yourself into people's good graces with booze

amanda

protect her

tyler thorne is a fantasy-ass name

welp

erika. ma'am.

"oh god, I know too much about drugs"

"hot AND concerned with consent?!"

and I jellyfish away

did she just essentially send her after headlight fluid

sasha

"I choose the sex reaction!"

drink?

I want to see sasha and jamie in a bitch-off

sasha only has a sex hammer and everything is a sex nail

"I don't know time in this moment"

"well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions"

SKIN SOUP

hell yeah Aff go for it

amanda D:

"it's fine, you're high"

"you wanna make out?" "pretty people don't get to fuck around like that"

oh NO

secondary location

don't do drugs, kids, it fucks up your werewolf senses

oh well shit

"I asked for help" "FROM WHO?!"

"what do you have?" "a sacrifice!" "NO!"

oh no they sacrificed the projector

"I cast GUN"

you take drugs ONE TIME and you end up in an abandoned oil refinery fighting cultists

this is a chick tract

well shit

at least she wasn't hanging from a tv antenna

we got nothin

haha there's 17776 viewers rn

"you know how to sneak in and out of your house" I want sasha's home life. we got everyone else's.

officer lemmecheckmynotes

hhhmmm???

dumbwoke???

I mean I've always said high school sports are a cult

that face

tal's glasses really sell all of this

hhhHH

that's amazing

I mean not so much for aff and jamie but also

oh fuck him

erikA

I'm dying

so is taliesin

POLICE TIKTOK

OH WELL FUCK THEN

so they're with cam's demon?

well then

do we really need reasons like dead gods and demons to tell us to kill

ooohhh

seduce the psychopath

why is matt so good at that noise

"and I KICK HER DOWN THE STAIRS"

D: jamiiie

"go to therapy, you fucking bitch!"

"you are also a fucking wolf" "interesting"

"I have to harm someone I really love" awww. kind of.

look out for my new YA paranatural romance, Holding Hands With A Werewolf

baby poly??

y'all just lawyer the fuck out of those rules

regular miniseries when

comic book when

[phoebehalliwell]

Do you think the next gen kids would have a familiars? What kind of non magical pets do you think they would have?

the way i like to view familiars in general is like. they come to you when you are in a situation where you need guidance, as both like an emotional support animal and as like. y’know a lil guard cat or just some sorta being that offers advice in it’s own lil way, kinda like how kit would hiss at evil, even when the charmed ones couldn’t detect it. so, as the the majority of the next gen have really grown up around magic, and are familiar and comfortable with it, i don’t think any of them have really had familiars yet bc there’s been like no need for such guidance. i think they all might end up with familiars at one point or another after they move out, maybe not like Right Away, but like when they inevitably end up hitting one point of crisis or another.

i think wyatt’s familiar would definitely be a cat, and i think wyatt would give it like a really cutesy and sorta stereotypical cat name like y’know mittens or mochi or mr. whiskers that type of thing. i think his familiar would come to him after you know he’s completed college he’s moved out he’s doing fine he’s a good witch blah blah blah everything’s chill and then like. boom. something’s triggered some sort of crisis of faith or distorted self image where wyatt is just like really scared that maybe him becoming evil is something that destiny wills and there’s no way that he can separate himself from the darkness that is inside of him and one day it’s gonna take hold and it’s gonna be more than he can bear yada yada yada he’s spiraling cat.

it think chris’s familiar would also be a cat and i think chris would give it like a really dumb name low effort like it’s probably just gonna be named cat unless bianca names the cat first (and if bianca names the cat it’s going in two possible directions either she gives the cat like a proper real quasi witchy name like sage or ostara or she names the cat chris jr and chris is like I Am Not Calling The Cat Chris Jr but then finds himself calling the cat chris jr and is just like 😡😡) i’m not sure really when chris would get a familiar clearly i’ve implied he’s with bianca in some manner at this point bc like. chris is a really good witch. like obvi he’s moody and in distress at all hours or whatever but it’s more to do with his personal relationships and less to do with his relationship to the craft, so i don’t think anything in his life really warrants a familiar. however, after he meets bianca i think there’s definitely sorta a shift in his world view bc while she’s a witch too the way she practices and just the basic way she engages w magic / magic engages w her is so distinctly different than anything chris has ever know that now he really just want to know more. like now that he knows there’s more out there he’s invested. also i think the two of them have just like a lot of grand dramatic adventures so the day to day peril level has definitely increase warranting a familiar

for melinda i would actually love to see her familiar be a bird maybe like a bluejay or something idk why i just think it’d be cute esp for a witchlighter and i love the idea of her just sorta whistling tunes and it whistling back and everyone being like lmao alright miss disney princess or whatever 🙄🙄 i think she might actually name the bird after a disney sidekick or something that could be the name of a disney sidekick i think she’s put a lot of effort and thought into the name. i’m not really sure when she would get one like obvi the transition to college would be a good time idk i may or may not write one in i just gave her a new whitelighter for this move so like i don’t think there’s an overwhelming need for a second guide but at the same time the more i think ab it the more i really like the idea of her having this bird

next on the docket i guess is tamora who i actually do have plans for giving a familiar but it wouldn’t be until she moved out bc she presently still lives at home with her parents all that blah blah blah it’s a very comfortable environment with magic sorta just like imbued in the walls all that but when she moves out she’s like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck very taylor swift’s never grow up verse three energy and i was Also gonna give her a cat bc what can i say i feel like she’s a cat person and i think she might give the cat a person name like lilah or charlie or something

kat on the other hand would probs have a dog as her familiar maybe like a medium sized one like 45lbs if that reference helps and honestly i’m picturing like a pittie or a bull terrier one of those types of dogs bc i think kat is like really stubborn and loyal and i want a stubborn and loyal dog to match also i find those breed adorable. rn i have kat just gallivanting around the world in sorta a quest of personal discovery so while it could warrant a familiar there’s just a lot of travels rn and i feel like it’s not a good like practical situation to have a animal around y’know But she also might be moving again soon and maybe this location will be a bit more permanent so maybe it’s time to bring in a familiar?? hers might also be a shared familiar w a future roommate

okay i’m throwing in an honorary henry jr piece bc he’s not a witch so he doesn’t get a familiar but i think after he moves out he finds a stray dog and brings it in maybe like a lucky/pizza dog situation and he always jokes that the dog is his familiar and he’s probably give it a wiccan name maybe he finds the dog on beltane and names it after the holiday blah blah blah the point is when the times comes for beltane and henry to say goodbye & it’s really sad and all that when henry takes his dog collar home on the back of the nametag he finds and intricately carved triquetra and feels the presence of his dog briefly pass by

okay onto pj pj isn’t actually a horse girl but like emotionally she is if she was raised in like sonoma instead of san francisco her familiar would 100% be a horse. but she lives in the city. so she’s not getting a horse. i also really like the idea or her familiar being a doe but once again. urban living isn’t necessarily compatible with that. so like. cat dog or bird i think. i think i like dog the best but i think more like a playful goofy dog less like kat’s or henry’s and maybe more like a corgi?? and honestly pj would probably name her dog cheddar as i think she’s voted most likely to name things after tv characters

okay i wanna give parker a ferret i wanna give parker a ferret and i want her to know it like rascal or something i have no idea when this ferret would come into play again probs after she moves out but as parker is like 16 i have put little to no brain power in figuring out what her moving out looks like or entails i just like the idea of a squirmy wormy chaos ferret.

snake. look, i really want one of the kids to have a snake as their familiar, and i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s gotta be peyton. i don’t know why, i just feel it in my jellies. and i think peyton would definitely be freaked The Fuck out by the snake suddenly in her apartment but i think she’d end up growing so comfortable around it that she forgets it’s like weird and sometimes people just come over and there’s like a giant ass snake vibing on the kitchen counter and they’re like !!!! and she’s like oh yeah meet like rupert or bartholomew or some other name that just feels like really old or something

as far as non-magical pets, i think piper’s family would be mostly like to have one (i think probably a dog) as not only do they just like feel like a family that would have a pet they’re also the only ones who live in A House (i personally picture both paige and phoebe’s families living in like apartments like not Apartment Apartments but y’know it’s like a singular floor is yours and it looks like a proper house it’s just like a whole bunch of them stack on top of each other y’know the point being they don’t necessarily lend themselves to pets). i think second most likely to have pets is paige & henry’s family bc i feel like henry would be the type of guy to have always wanted a dog bc like given his whole situation growing up in the system being a foster kids bouncing around from place to place never really feeling like he had a family or home so like a sign of stability and finality and comfort and all that to him would be having a pet. and he strikes me as a dog person. phoebe and coop win least likely to have a pet if they did it’d probably be a cat just bc i feel like phoebe didn’t really grow up with pets and coop didn’t grow up at all really so it wasn’t really something that crossed their minds however if the girls brought it up and like begged for a pet i think they’d be game

also you didn’t ask but i am writing a dency story and she does have a familiar it’s a cat he lives with her & her roommate his name is bozo and he only has one eye

[sarcastically-defensive17]

OMG, so I just saw a post of Australia, you know the kind of show how wild nature is there, so I just thought like any member of 5sos x reader where whoever you choose is so exited to show reader Australia and his home and reader is just really nervous and afraid bc Australia is wild jajsjsjdjd But she doesn't say anything bc she loves to see how exited he is

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie - M. Clifford

So this probably didn’t live up to expectations so I hope you don’t completely hate it! I figured Mikey would be the type to hype himself up to a reader who had no experience with the fine country I come from.

Gotta love the crazy ass animals we have here!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

When Michael informed her of his decision to take her on a round trip of Australia, she had to feign excitement.

She knew that it was a beautiful country, filled with beautiful people and Michael had so much love for the land he called home, but there was one largely terrifying factor.

According to every nature documentary she had indulged herself in, in preparation for the trip, Australia had some of the most dangerous wildlife imaginable.

“Ooh, the wildlife channel,” Michael sounded from behind her, and she turned her head from the television to see her blond boyfriend walk into her vision. He had a black hat positioned on his head. “Getting excited to battle the frightening natural elements back in ‘Straya?”

She giggled at the way he molded his accent, resembling the way Steve Irwin spoke in the Crocodile Hunter movie he had subjected her to.

“It’s not that crazy, is it?” She was hesitant. She had heard so much about the creepy crawlers, the large snakes that could kill people within seconds, the vicious kangaroos and whatever ‘drop-bears’ are. She was terrified.

“Oh it’s much worse!” He giggles. If only he knew that his jokes were increasing her anxiety for the trip. “I remember when I was younger, a kangaroo jumped in my backyard and started chasing me. Those 2 meter y’all Mike Tyson’s are terrifying.”

Y/N felt her face visibly pale. Kangaroos are meant to be cute and cuddly. When she was younger she heard that they were the kindest Australian animal.

“Don’t even get me started on the drop bears! One of them ate my puppy when I was 6!”

“What’s a drop bear?” She gasped, letting her mouth fall open slightly.

“It’s what we call Koala’s that have gone rabid,” he held a devilish grin on his face.

It might have been cruel of him to torment his girlfriend in such a way, but he couldn’t deny the amount of badassery he felt when she gushed about how tough he is to have survived living in such a dangerous place.

Having a girlfriend who was born and raised in a nice neighbourhood in Columbus, Ohio had some benefits to his ego.

“Bad time to say that I don’t wanna get eaten by a drop bear?” She laughed nervously, “Koala’s are cute and cuddly. How do they go rabid?”

“The rabies gets to them.”

“Rabies?”

He made a noise of agreement, “You will be fine baby,” he rubbed her shoulder softly. “Just need to remember your running shoes.”

She groaned, feeling no other way to expel her nervous energy but to smack the hand off of her shoulder.

She was going to get eaten, she knew it. One of the dangerous wild animals in Australia was going to murder her.

That, or she would be sent to prison for strangling her boyfriend.

“How did you survive down there?” She whined, dreading the trip they will be leaving for in a few days. “Everything is so terrifying already.”

“Us Aussies are born with fire in our blood, sweet cheeks,” he quipped, flexing his arm and frowning when his bicep didn’t inflate enough. “We know how to handle the crazy wildlife.”

“I can’t imagine you or Luke handling a 3 meter long Red-bellied Black snake, or a big huntsman,” she grumbled.

“Ahh, see, you know the threats already! Summer time is the worst for the snakes and spiders, but we will be fine!” She sighed at his words, closing her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling her close. “At least, we might be.”

()()()()()()

The flight from LA to Sydney was long and arduous, but made better by the presence of her boyfriend and her friends who were either visiting family or accompanying them on their trip.

Calum, and Luke and Sierra had planned to visit family while in their home country, whereas Ashton and KayKay and Michael and Y/N would embark on a three week trip from state to state in the country.

Everybody seemed excited apart from Y/N who was filled with dread at the sight of any native animals, but she loved nothing more than to see the way michaels eyes lit up when they landed at the airport.

She was even more terrified when she found out the first place they would be staying would be at a camping site that Taronga Zoo in Sydney had, but he was beyond excited to see all of the different animals up-close.

He told her a story on the plane ride over of how he did the camp out with his parents when he was younger, and it made her heart swell.

You could physically interact with the animals that surrounded the area, and she would be at the mercy of all of the little critters that swamped the ground. Nevertheless, she was determined to do it with Michael.

Ashton, in all of his sane glory, insisted that once they arrived at the zoo, they all needed to take a walk through the reptile exhibit.

All was fine and well until they reached the entrance to the cave like structure and Y/N couldn’t move her feet anymore.

She had forced herself to not mention her feelings to Micheal because of how excited he was to visit his home turf and spend time introducing everything to her, but she couldn’t bring herself to physically enter the cave.

Unfortunately, the blond man she adored noticed her faltered steps and walked backwards towards her with a concerned look in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, babe?” He asked, a soft smile on his face that slowly stretched into a sly smirk, “scared of some snakes?”

She let out a soft laugh, lacking every ounce of humor as her wide eyes darted from Michael’s face to the entrance to the cave.

“Would you laugh if I said yes?”

“No, but I would laugh at the huntsman about to crawl on your ear?”

Her eyes widened further than they were, and a screech left her lips at the same time a loud laugh left Michael’s. She lurched her body, swatting at her shoulder and rushing to Michael’s side.

It took her a solid minute to realize there was no spider when her boyfriend was doubled over, taking in large gasps of breath as he released obnoxious laughs.

It took him a further minute to recover from what he believed to be the most hilarious joke ever, and when he looked up, he was met with the unimpressed expression that Y/N had on his face.

“I’m going to go find an animal that is cute and cuddly, and I’m staying far away from anything that slithers, or has more than four legs, or will bite me and kill me,” she began walking in the direction of a sign displaying koalas and kangaroos, without waiting for Michael or anybody else to catch up.

Footsteps sounded behind her as Michael jogged time catch up with her annoyed footsteps.

He slung an arm around her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her forehead and sending her an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, baby!” No reply. “You’re not seriously mad at me, are you?”

She gave him no sense of acknowledgement, walking along with her arms crossed.

“Y/N, please?” He began to put now, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her to face him. “Okay, baby. I know this isn’t your most ideal vacation, and all of the murderous animals here are getting to you, and don’t try to deny it because I can read you like a book,” he wagged a finger at her, poking her nose before continuing. “But I also know that there is no such thing as drop bears, and there are perfectly cuddly koala’s not far from here that I convinced some keepers to let you meet after hours.”

She seemed to perk up at this. She had read much about koala’s as she was drawn to the fluffy, grey bears and she was most excited to see them.

She couldn’t stop the smile from her face as she laced her fingers with his and pulled him along towards the koala sign.

“That’s my girl!” He beamed back at her. “You’re gonna love this! They’re so fluffy and they’re gonna let us give them some eucalyptus leaves, and have as many koala hugs as we want-“

His words stopped short, as well as his footsteps, much like Y/N did at the entrance to the reptile cave.

She stopped along side him, raising a brow at him, “Mike? What’s wrong?”

He gave her no reply, his eyes locked on a single figure ahead of him.

She turned her eyes to see what had him in such a state of fear, only to be met with a single kangaroo.

“Holy shit, they are bigger than I expected,” his voice trailed off, causing a laugh to fall from Y/N’s lips.

“I thought you said you went toe-to-toe with a kangaroo when you were little?” She was now the one to smirk, crossing her arms in a sarcastic way.

“Okay,” he huffed, “I lied. And now I don’t want to go near it because it looks really scary so let’s just run in this direction.”

Before she could protest, he had her sling over his shoulder and they were running in the direction of the much awaited koala exhibit.

Maybe Y/N would enjoy her time in Australia more than she thought. Especially with Michael by her side.

[biillyhargroves]

sooo a billy request bc you do him so damn well / he’s sick & rlly wants to be taken care of so so all he does is complain ( yk he’s a ‘tough boy’) but then secretly melts at all the attention? ❤️❤️

cough syrup(fic requests open)

Billy Hargrove is good at a lot of things; being sick is not one of them.

Not that anyone is particularly good at being ill. Some people simply handle it better than others, and Billy tends not to handle it at all. Doctors’ recommendations- rest and fluids, medication -tend to fall by the wayside. Instead, he prefers to act as though he is not sick at all. The logic, of course, is that if he pretends he is well, his body will catch up. In seventeen years, he has yet to succeed, but this does not stop him from trying. And so, when he wakes up with sinus pain and a sore throat, he promptly ignores it. 

He downs the half-finished cup of cold coffee his father left abandoned on the kitchen table. He searches for the history book he’s not even sure he brought home. He shouts at Max to, “Hurry your ass up or I’m leaving without you!” He revs the engine like he’s really going to do it, and when Max does get in the car he says, “You’re explaining if we’re late.”

“What the hell’s wrong with your voice?”

Billy clears his throat and says, “Nothing.”

Max doesn’t believe him, but she doesn’t press the matter. She is quiet for the whole drive, but when Billy pulls up outside of Hawkins Middle School, she lingers in the car. Billy can feel her gaze on him, and he raises his eyebrow at her. 

“Get out,” Billy says, words strained as he stifles a cough. Max looks like she’s going to say something, and Billy almost hopes she does- almost wants her to ask if he’s okay, almost wants her to figure out what’s really wrong -almost. But she doesn’t. She throws open the door and drops her skateboard onto the ground. 

The day drags at a glacial pace. The longer it lasts, the worse Billy feels. He tries to brush it off. He keeps up his act as long as he can, stealing away private moments to collect himself when he thinks the mask is about to fall. On one such occasion he stumbles out of a bathroom stall to find Steve there, hands on his hips, waiting.

“The fuck do you want?” Billy grumbles. He doesn’t mean to be harsh and he hopes that Steve knows this. They have an agreement, after all. Their classmates think they hate each other, and that is the safest assumption for anyone to have. Steve opens his arms to reveal the empty room around them. 

“Cut the shit,” he says. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing,” Billy says. He shoves past Steve and turns on a faucet. The cold water sends a shudder down his spine. He grits his teeth, pumps soap into his palm, watches the suds rise up beneath the rush of water.

“Tell your face,” Steve says. Billy takes a brief look in the mirror. There are deep circles under his eyes (he’d been telling people he’d had a shitty night’s sleep, which wasn’t entirely a lie); he even thinks he sees some swelling there, a puffiness that hadn’t been there this morning. Billy grabs a paper towel, dries his hands, almost uses it to blow his nose and then remembers that he’s not supposed to be sick. He tosses the towel in the waste bin. “Oh, come on,” Steve says.

“Shut up,” says Billy.

“It’s just us,” Steve says. “You can say it.”

“Say what?” Billy demands. 

“That you’re sick,” says Steve. 

“I’m not-”

“Don’t,” Steve says. “You promised you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“That was about-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Steve says.

“You’re a fucking dick, Harrington, you know that?”

“And you look like death warmed over,” Steve says. Billy hangs his head. He looks cornered, and Steve sags his shoulders, almost feeling bad. “We still on for tonight?” he asks, and he can see Billy’s relief at the change in subject.

“Yeah,” Billy says. “I just gotta wait for my dad to leave.”

“Okay,” Steve says. He stands there a moment too long, watching Billy carefully. Then he says, “Tonight.” 

Of course, by the time tonight rolls around Billy feels like death warmed over, re-frozen, and thawed out again. He aches all over and his throat is on fire. He does not have his usual quick wit when he picks Max up after school. There is none of their usual bickering, and though Max won’t stop staring at him, the only thing she asks is, “Are you seeing Steve tonight?”

“What’s it matter to you?” Billy grumbles, voice so low Max almost doesn’t hear him.

“It doesn’t,” Max says.

“Then why’d you ask?” He sounds like he’s been gargling with rocks and he surpasses a cough at the end of every sentence he speaks.

“You can drop me off at Mike’s,” she says. “If you want to just go straight to Steve’s. I’ll tell Neil I stayed for AV club.”

“And why would you do that?” Billy asks.

“Because you’re sick and Neil’s not gonna do jack shit about it,” Max says. “But Steve will.”

“I’m not sick,” Billy says.

“Well, you can drop me off at Mike’s anyway,” Max says. She is finding her footing on what she hopes is the path of least resistance and, luckily for her, Billy doesn’t have the energy to argue. He swings a right abruptly, circles back toward the school, makes his way to Wheeler house. When he asks Max when he’s supposed to pick her up, she says, “Just stay at Steve’s. I’ll get a ride with Will.”

“Max, I can-”

“Ask Steve for NyQuil or something. Sleep off whatever you don’t think you have.”

“You’re not my fucking mother,” Billy says.

“We’re family, right? We’re supposed to look out for each other?”

“Save the speech.”

“You’ll stay at Steve’s?”

“If it’ll make you shut up.”

“It will,” Max says, so Billy agrees. When he arrives at Steve’s house, Steve is surprised to see him so early. Billy lets himself in the back door out of habit. Even when there are no parents home, sneaking is second nature. Steve startles when he hears Billy coming in through the kitchen.

“Christ, man,” he breathes. “Make a noise.”

“Sorry,” Billy mumbles. He furrows his brow when he spots an array of pill bottles lined up on the countertop. There are red and white cans of Campbell’s soup, too, and a box of Lipton’s teabags. “The hell’s all this?”

“For you,” Steve shrugs. “Since you’re obviously not taking care of yourself.”

“Steve, I’m-”

“Don’t say fine,” Steve says. “Don’t say not sick. Actually, don’t say anything. Go sit down. I pulled some blankets out for you. They’re on the couch. I was gonna stop by the video store, but you can just pick from what we have. My dad actually has decent taste for such a stuck-up son of a bitch.”

“Why-”

“Because I care about you, dickhead. That’s why.”

Billy won’t pretend this doesn’t touch him, insult and all. He can’t say that this doesn’t like the attention. He also can’t say the idea of melting into the Harringtons’ overstuffed couch doesn’t sound like everything he’s secretly wanted all day. He approaches Steve from behind, arms snaking around Steve’s middle as Steve rifles through the open cabinet in front of him.

“Hey,” Steve says softly, one hand coming down to rest on top of Billy’s. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks. Billy rests his head in the curve of Steve’s neck and Steve says, “You feel warm.”

“My head is killing me,” Billy admits. “My throat’s killing me.”

“You wanna take something?” Steve asks, and Billy shrugs. “Go lay down.” 

Steve squeezes Billy’s hand and Billy releases him. Steve fishes a bag of cough drops out of the cabinet and shakes a few into Billy’s palm before Billy retreats into the living room. Steve makes him tea, pours him cough syrup, makes two trips to carry in both water and whatever orange juice they had leftover in the carton in the fridge. By the time he finally settles down beside Billy, Billy is cocooned in the nest of blankets Steve had laid out for him. Steve gets some medicine into him: Robatussin and some Ibuprofen. He sits down beside Billy and, when Billy leans again him, he gently guides Billy to lay down. Billy settles his head in Steve’s lap and allows Steve to brush back his hair. 

“You okay?” Steve asks him, though Billy is twilighting somewhere between awake and asleep and he’s entirely sure if Billy can hear him. 

“Everything hurts,” Billy mumbles.

“Drama queen,” Steve teases, but he slips his hand to Billy’s shoulders and gently massages the coiled muscles there. 

“Shut up,” Billy quips. He sounds sleepy, and Steve softly shushes him. He rubs Billy’s back, and Billy slowly drifts off. As he does, a fleeting thought floats through his mind: maybe, just maybe, this is better than toughing shit out. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister’s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 15 notes

Ok true crime as in my new addiction is true crime podcasts specifically about serial killers

Back to the session

 After getting a bit of a reality check from durnan about the supposed strength and power of the xanathar guild…

Protected our home w glyphs of warding

Last day of our contract

Spell is set to fade soon

Asyna is feeding ot

Ot looks at asyna like he's a cornered animal

"ot here's some meat"

Why is krystal roasting me about my lover

He wants poison

Ot is calling his jailers idiotic

Oh no aerana might be spilling beans

I really shouldn't be allowed to play games

Because I will always turn to the chaotic evil character

Aerana isn't giving anything up

Theo tells us about the plumbers who came over last night

Aerana is going to typ, rest of party is staking out house

Shifts to watch ot, adam takes front, asyna tower lookout (it's foggy tho so perception check at disadvantage, 9; city looks a little eerie in the fog)

Cel puts immovable rod across cellar door

Ot is suspicious whenever cel comes in

"you cannot fool me xanathar"

Cel making theo a new cloak

Ot asks cel when he'll turn him into dust

The xanathar can turn ppl into dust

Flare ?

Is flare the brain boy ?

I don't like the energy we've created around the word "enlightenment"

Cel rolls 18 insight check

Ot doesn't think cel is cel

Cel is gonna just vibe witth him

"WHEN U SLAY ME I WILL THINK NOTHING BUT HATEFUL THOUGHTS"

Sorry didn't mean caps but too lazy to fix

Everyone else

Adam in front hissing at neighbors and cats, 7

Hears pavement scuffle, someone approaches and reddish gtray beard person w non-descript gray cloak approaches; trench

Doesn't remember cellar and plumbers guild coming by night before

Trench says he can help

Help get bar open

Used to drink there a lot

Gets parchment and quill with ink

Rolls insight to see if bar was only thing he wasd interested in, 13, trench seems v interested

Works in surveillance, protection

Gives him cel and theo's name "5 copper please"

Gets 5

Adam picks his nose

Theo patrols entrances

13 for perception

Overlaps path w adam's

Aerana to typ

Afternoon when there

Similar pattern to those there; frequent patrons

"if I'm making up words, it's not really hitler"

8 perception

Place feels open, not as packed as it usually is

Still feel sensation of cold from the well

Wizard w pointy red hat a regular

You see goliath wizard talking to a dwarven woman

Aerana sees an elven man (bard) w "ugliest guy you've seen in your goddamn life" dom says but only after we point out he looks like legolas, tuning a lute

Sense you've seen him before

The wellllllllllllllllll

It is better told by a bard

Some patrons old and strange, others just like to drink

But ritual in the storytelling

Durnan built

Gwyliam

Talking in elvish

Place formerly not too populated

But one of durnan's ancestors came over to build upon it and discovered the well

Network of tunnels underneath

20 for history check

Familiar with some of what he's saying

Parents would throw you into the undermountain if you were bad

Undermountain = stirs weird memory in your head

Being told as a child stories of undermountain

Deep dark fearsome place

Mt waterdeep wizard came here once named hallister the black cloak

Hallister - ppl don't know where he was from / if he was real but legendary

Brought apprentices trained in magical arts

Tunneled on peak of mt waterdeep

Legend of undermountain could not be verified as truth

Durnan's ancestor came to typ

Climbed into well

"I wouldn't bring this up around him" - doesn't talk abt

When ancestor returned was fabulously rich

Split money with best friend

Built typ

Occasionally engages in ritual of going

No one truly knows what lies in undermountain but there's something there bc some return but most do not

"it might just be the sewer" - "but don't tell anyone I said that"

Differing renditions

Some say durnan was the one with magical powers and killed everyone in there, or more nuanced speaking only of tragedy of those who return who come back fearful or returning with smaller parties; others talk more of hallister and argue over his life; every night a different story

Ask if he knows anyone who's come back

Gestures to half-orc in corner playing variation of solitaire; great celebration when he returned, he came back with riches

He is a regular

21 history check

Undermountain

Familiar name

"Deepest dungeon of them all"

When sewers were built many passages abandoned bc other halls + passages found, many teams from cellars and plumbers guild died during construction of the sewers

Prisoners often thrown into "undermountain"

Says even tho he's here most days there's still stuff he doesn't understand about it; new community reforged every night

At some point durnan talking to wizard and having a conversation which is odd ? Eventually wizard looks at aerana (old man) skinny pointy red hat

Wizard squinting at aerana then turns back to conversation

Try talking to half-orc

Interesting plated beard almost like that on dwarves wrt ornamentation; jewelry running through it

Wiry half-orc

Not skinny but muscled

Weird tattoos covering one side of his face looking like they change a little bit

Balanced a little precariously

Ask if he wants to play a two-person card game bc he's playing solitaire

Ask for his favorite game, Skipper (slapjack)

Dexterity check

5, 20, 10

First round you lose, his fingers have strange looking rings beautiful but rough-worn bands of steel or other heavy metal

Second you win

Third round he takes

"say not many people can beat me in that game"

"luck favors the bold"

In the well

Hell but now look at him can gamble all he wants

City of balder's gate

Large city rough place to grow up

Turned into rough child living on streets

Says his name is Sand

Balder's gate warlords make life difficult so he decided to leave

Was found in youth by someone who turned his anger into smth holy

Ran into thieves and plunderers of forgotten relics, became brother and sister and decided to take on deepest dungeon of them all

Horrible things - asks if you've heard the song

The yawning portal song

Not many people know the full tale

Was taught to be skeptical (it's in his nature or maybe his name)

Not sure how long he was in there or didn't know when he was in there

No light

Tunnels are confusing and without it would've been lost; found room with throne with snakes for arms

Great hallway with ancient trap

Living things also in there; all manner of beasts and creatures; ppl don't come back bc of those

Killed goblins down there but after the things he's seen and after the things he'd had to do could've gone with killing a few more goblins

Advice ? Some will sell maps of what they found or what they think they've seen; anyone can tell u abt beasts down there

Durnan wouldn't lower us down

Durnan doesn’t send ppl to their deaths

Durnan lowers people he deems worthy

Strong brave smart fast bold enough or some combo

But even then not everyone comes back

It's a place of death

Not buying him lunch lmao

Has broken into dangerous old elf dungeons like in the ones up north and would do it again if he could unsee some of the things he saw down in the well

A place of death but things move in the shadows w tombs down there and tunnels for miles hallways great and tall, treasures, beasts keeping it for themselves

Ask about tattoos

Gift from master

The person who saved him in balder's gate

Steeped in magic of shadows

Powerful bc he is strong but qi is stronger still

Aerana gets back home but starts to rain heavily

Ppl still patrolling

Adam

Sees drow ? W purple colored eyes silver-ish hair hiding weapons under his cloak steps up and says "pardon me" and asks if adam's seen a cat

Large cat - would've know if saw it

Adam sends drow to trench

Adam gives him good up and down look, can he see weapons ? Carrying two cinotaurs ??? Sinotaur ???? Adam rolls insight for cat

14, seems like he's talking abt a cat

Heads off to trench

Asyna in watchtower guessing ppl's names

Cel and theo switch

Theo says hi to ot, ot curled up in corner

Whispers "hey ot what's up"

Says he should've gone with his gut on the day theo arrived

"dark elegance" "the way you glided into the room" - ot on theo

Ot says he knows how the xanathar pays theo

"I guess seeing you was a realization of my deepest fear" a fear he couldn't name or place or knew he had but out of the darkness theo stepped forward

"I'm curious . How long do you leave your victims like this"

Ot starts to cry and says he would beg her to keep him in this place

"this voice you're using I find it sweet"

"I just don't want to wake up before the end"

Theo is gonna get him food

"the poor dead tiefling told me yesterday"

7 insight

Theo does not know what's happening

Says the water theo gives him looks real

Looks at the wall drinks some water

"and it tastes real"

We kinda fucked ot up LMAO OOPS

"I know that you don’t have a heart… but if there's any chance that anything I've ever said or thought about you could take root in your soul"

Theo says she'll consider his request

Sits there for a half hour then asks if that's her real name

"nithlur" or smth like that

Nihloor

"where'd you hear that"

In his head lmao

What if this is like

A tapeworm

In his head

"what does knowledge taste like"

Asks if it's a feeling or a thought

Theo says it's a feeling

Ot says whatever knowledge is it's valuable to the right thing

Wonders if he can take a nap

Gonna take a nap

Adam forgot he made ott think he was dead

Aerana is taking over for theo

Adam takes first watch

Perception check, 22

Raining ohp so at disadvantage gotta do it again

New roll, 12

Rain is still falling

Hears a weird noise coming from outside the house

Uses thaumaturgy to boom voice saying "wake up"

Everyone sleeping wakes up

Goes toward sound

Hears weird growling noise

Goes semi-toward noise w pyrotechnics prepared; darkvision does he see anything

Sees shape

It's not the cat

Unfamiliar, looks like it's flying but more like it's floating

Bobbing up and down in air

Creature w large glassy eye and sagging mouth w lots of sharp teeth

Sticking out from form are eyes attached to a slug protruding off it w glassy eyes hanging off it

Intense stench making icky moaning noise

Adam shits his pants

It's big

The size of its mouth is human size

I've been listening to serial killer podcasts all day

[koalataeil]

Volleyball Player!Taehyung (High School!AU)

position: starting opposite

year: junior

skills: blocking, play-reading, teamwork, cheerleader

so opposite is on the opposite side of the setter on the court

so he’s basically a good all-around player

bc he needs to be able to set the ball if the setter can’t

and block the other team’s spikes

and spike during offensive plays

tae is actually really good at reading the opponent’s plays

so he calls out where the ball is headed

if he spots it in time

he actually learned that skill from watching so many volleyball matches in his free time when he was younger

even though the opposite position is kind of weird and not super specialized

tae is so happy to be doing it

bc he gets to do a little bit of everything

whereas johnny focuses on spiking and blocking

and taeil focuses on setting

taehyung gets to practice everything

he’s also happy with the position bc he isn’t super confident in any specific skill

so he appreciates being able to work on it all

although taehyung isn’t the captain and it’s really all that interested in being one

he is really great at teamwork

and being close with all of his teammates

he just easily gets along with everyone

and he always finds a way to make practice more entertaining with his goofy, playful self

so everyone really loves having him around

during matches taehyung is very loud

if there are any team cheers they do after an ace or something

he’s the loudest

and when he’s on the bench

he is super loud

cheering for his teammates

especially if they do really well that play

but even if they made a silly mistake

taehyung is exclaiming his love and proudness from the bench

and whenever he does well during a play

you’re in the bleachers cheering him on just as loud

and it makes him feel so much better and more confident

and keeps him going

even when they’re getting their ass kicked

but you’re always at his games

even the away games that are over an hour away

you can’t not watch your best friend

and you’ve always been at his games

even when he was first starting

you were neighbors and you always played with him in elementary school

and when he joined a volleyball team, you’d beg your parents to take you to his games

and when they said no you would just run over to taehyung’s house and ask his parents

who always let you come bc they were going there anyway

so you would show up early to every game bc you always showed up when taehyung had to be there

so you got to watch him warm up with his coach and teammates

and he always had a smile on his face

even when he missed the ball

or hit it too far

and that actually got him into trouble with one of his coaches

the coach thought he wasnt taking the sport seriously and punished the whole team by making then run more ladders

and his teammates tried to explain to the coach that he is just really happy

but it really never worked

and that coach was fired after that season

anyway

bc you’re always at his games and cheering loudly for him

his teammates are familiar with you

and all the freshman ask him if you two are dating

especially when you run to give him a hug when they win

but he just giggles and says

“they’re my best friend”

and yuta and taeil and youngjae whisper to the freshman

“they’re both in denial”

“they like him and he likes them”

and jungwoo decides that you two would make such a great couple

so he starts to make a plan to get you two to admit your feelings for each other

along with the help of bambam

and some of their teammates - just for information on you two

so homecoming is coming up in a couple of weeks

and jungwoo and bambam think it’s the perfect opportunity to set you two up

even though it’s a time focused on football

they can’t pass it up

bc it’s really the only thing for the volleyball season

jungwoo asks taehyung if he’s going to the homecoming dance before practice one day

“probably. why?”

“are you gonna go with y/n?”

“do you wanna go with them?”

“no- i was just wonder-”

and before they can continue the coach blows their whistle and practice starts

and jungwoo got NOTHING from the whole thing

except for tae to think he wants to go out with you

bambam sits with you at lunch and asks if you’re gonna go to the dance

“i don’t know”

“you should come”

“with you?”

“i was thinking you should go with taehyung”

“why were you thinking that?”

“because you’re so close. it’d be fun”

bambam fumbles trying to not come off too suspicious but

too late

later that day

when you were hanging out with taehyung at his house

you bring it up

“bam asked if i was going to go to the dance today. do you know why he asked me?”

“i don’t. but jungwoo asked me if i was going too.”

“weird”

“he asked if i was going with you”

“bam said i should go with you”

and your heart is kinda just thumping hard

bc you rlly like him

and also bc you’re just kinda like

wtf is jungwoo and bambam thinkin

what are those two up to

“do you wanna go?” tae asked

“yeah...”

“with me?”

and your heart skips a beat

“do you wanna go with me?” you asked back

and tae just smiles back at you

“sure. it’ll be like those middle school dances we went to”

which just makes you laugh

and somehow jungwoo and bam’s plan worked

and you two go to the dance together

and tae’s teammates are just as surprised as jungwoo and bam

so when the dance comes

you both just look so stunning

but it hasn’t changed your goofy personalities

at the dance you spend a lot of time with tae’s teammates

unless you were on the dance floor with your own friends or tae

and then a slow song starts playing

and you don’t rlly know what to do

but tae

so smooth, like like a snake

puts his hands around your waist and leads you into a slow dance

you couldn’t help but smile

and blush a little

but tae didn’t seem to notice

“i didn’t know you liked slow dancing”

“i usually don’t but it’s hard to dance differently with this song”

cue jungwoo and bambam dancing together and getting closer to you two

“they gotta admit their feelings tonight right?!”

“if they don’t they’re both stupid”

cut to the end of the dance and they play one last slow song

and tae holds his hand out

“care to dance?”

and you take his hand and head out to join the swaying crowd

as the song continues

you get closer

until you’re resting your forehead on his shoulder

and he’s basically hugging you

cue the whole volleyball team watching and cheering quiet enough to not be heard by you two

and on the way home

as tae is driving

your heart is just so full

and you’re so happy

you never want to get home

just to spend the rest of the night with him in his car

when he pulls into his driveway

neither of you move to get out of the car

“thanks for coming with me” you say

“no problem. i had a lot of fun.”

“tae, can i tell you something?”

“yeah of course”

“i- uh- i like you”

“i like you too” tae chuckled as he said it

“no like i really like you”

“oh- i really like you too”

and now you two are dating :))))))

the team hears about it on monday

and everyone hugs jungwoo and bambam

bc finally

you two have stopped being so oblivious

not much has changed between you two

like you still go to all of his games and cheer for him

and hug him after games

and hang out like always

but now you kiss and hold hands and just touch each other a lot more

you still are very goofy and playful with each other

and tae actually seems even happier especially on the court

even the coach can tell there is a difference in his attitude

but he isn’t really sure what changed

nor does he really want to know

he’s just impressed that taehyung can be even happier than he already was

 but that’s just the power of you

:))))))))))

making taehyung happier than humanly possible

:))))))))))

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 jae

following my uni!au with young k (idk how to link my own post asbajdnskmd im Dumb) so here another one with jae lol i think im gonna make one for each one of them buttttttt no promise bc my brain works in a very mysterious way LOL

anyway leggo

warning: this is lame lmaooooo

name: park jaehyung / jae

major: politic science

other activities: guitarist (and sometimes vocalist) of university band, member of music club, founder and leader of LOL SQUAD

everyone knows that tall skinny guitarist of the band i mean he’s hard to ignore tbh

he always wears loose T-shirt, ripped jeans, a cap that he puts backward, and round big specs to campus

professors hate his ripped jeans but can’t really say anything because oh well style doesn’t define someone’s grades and boy, does this kid actually get some braincells in him

well i mean at least he never fails his classes

he has this giant LOLSQUAD badge on his backpack because he’s proud af of his title as the club founder and leader

he actually started that club so he could to brag about his gaming skill to everyone who wanted to listen but he ends up getting his ass handed to him every single time they play together smh

if he’s not in class or hanging out with his game buddies, he can be seen following that Popular Student™ kang younghyun or as jae prefers to call him, “brian” or “brIBRI” because they both joined music club and are in the band

yes yes he’s well known and easy to spot

but…

“jae? park jaehyung?? who???”

everyone refers to him as “that foreigner student”, “the American guy” or “the gamer guy”, or my favorite: “chicken little”

i will never let that joke die im sorry but seriously he looks like chicken when he plays his guitar on the stage don’t @ me

there are only like 5 students in the whole university who know his actual name

anyways in this scenario you’ve always been interested in playing guitar but haven’t gotten a chance to learn and your friend kim wonpil invites you to join music club so you’ll have friends to practice with

“you know our jaehyungie, right? he’s really chill, you’ll get along well with him!!”

deep inside you’re like

who the heck is jaehyung

but wonpil is so excited to have you there so the next week you come to the club meeting

you introduce yourself to everyone and finally you meet him

“ohmygod the chicken little!!”

“whO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING THAT”

“sorry- i mean the chicken guitarist- wait no-”

he glares at you, you laugh instead

scaring the new member challenge: failed

but yeah you’d seen him performing before and honestly you almost decided to become his fan

a l m o s t

at first he (jokingly) refuses to teach you guitar because you called him chicken little

and since then you keep calling him that just to mess with him

“hi chicken little”

“what’s poppin chicken little”

“why do you look so flustered, chicken little? do i make you nervous??”

he turns red chicken little is now an angry bird “gO AWAY NEWBIE YOU’RE SO ANNOYING”

jae’s a foreigner but he speaks fluent korean

he tells you that even though he was born and grew up in america he always speaks the language with his parents

but of course since he lives abroad there are lots of words or slang he doesn’t know, so you gotta be an ass and slip some difficult words when you speak to him

he gets his revenge by replying to you in english

whenever you two are having an argument (usually over stupid things) everyone in the club suddenly gets headache

wtf they’re not even making any sense

besides music, jae is the most excited when talking about LOL or social topics because well his major

honestly idk much about politic science so cmiimw

one time someone asks for his opinion about social welfare and he ends up starting a sudden debate session with the said person about social welfare programs in south korea and america and the difference between both countries

you mention human rights and he sNAPS

i mean he gives a full 15 mins speech about it

“yknow what im sayin?”

“dude… i honestly don’t get it at all”

because he be speaking in full english like wat

he’s just so passionate about everything it’s almost adorable

a l m o s t

and it’s not only his passion but also his small eyes, his laugh, his voice, or the way he occasionally lifts his head to look at you while playing guitar and you smile and he smiles because you smile first shnshsbshs soft

even the corners of his lips are so cute wow

oh fuck im emo i love him

but you adore him just as a good friend

he’s always been bubbly and friendly with everyone, not just you, so yeah it’s really easy to fall for him but you assure yourself that you’re nOT

are we having “in denial” shit again omg im so uncreative

anyway fast forward it’s ur birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY

you decide to throw a small party at your place and invite 5 or 6 of your closest friends but damn on the d-day it rains so hard

if ur bday falls on winter then change it to snowing hard, if it’s spring then maybe there’s strong wind or something, whatever suits you fam lol

so no one comes to your party lol you are Sad

BUT THEN!!!! JAE SHOWS UP!!!!!

PARK JAEHYUNG

OUT OF ALL PEOPLE

no you didn’t invite him because idk

are we really that close??? ehhhh he probably won’t come anyway haha why bother

BUT!!!! HE SHOWS UP!!! IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!!!

he’s carrying an umbrella but it didn’t really help apparently because he’s soaking wet

imagine that view i mean nvm

“i happened to be near here and i remember it’s your birthday today so i think i’m gonna drop by to say hi and suddenly it’s raining too hard on the way but anyway happy birthday can you let me in first i’m cold”

ofc you let jae in i mean we can’t let the chicken catch the flu amirite

but you warn him that he’ll have to leave before 11 or your RA will kick you both out the dorm lol

after a towel, two cups of hot tea, and one shared piece of chocolate cake, you told him you were supposed to have a small party tonight but no one could make it because of the rain and he’s like “hOW DARE YOU HAVING A PARTY BUT NOT INVITING ME I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” and you’re just like “lol shut up chicken here eat more cake”

anyways you two spend time joking and talking about random stuff and it’s probably not the best birthday ever but at least you don’t have to spend it alone and to be honest you’re happy that he’s here

then jae pulls out his ultimate weapon

i mean his guitar

he was soaking wet but the guitar is clean and dry and all fine like hoW EVEN

“priorities” -park jaehyung

he said he gonna play a song of your choice because he came empty handed and he feels bad about it

you blush and pick whatever song comes to your mind because you can’t really think of any, and he starts strumming his guitar and sings

and while he keeps looking at you, you find yourself too can’t take your eyes off him

the song ends and you’re about to clap your hands when he suddenly starts another one

wait you’ve never heard this song before

it’s a slow song and the lyrics are all like, the sky turns dark on the birthday of the brightest star so that it’ll be the only light in his world, how he feels regretful that he has nothing to give but his small heart, and he hopes that this lovely person will hold his hand as they listen to this song together, that this lovely person will feel warm beside him

guys just imagine the song okay i can’t Romance

it’s dead silent until you whisper, “is that… a song for me?”

jae’s face turns red and he starts panicking™ like “i made up the lyrics just now okay i know it’s fricking sappy and cheesy as hell okay i just uhhh want to cheer you up!!!! because you seem kinda down!!!!! let’s not talk about this again uGh WhatEvER leT Me LIvE!!!!!”

but you chuckle and thank him, it was the best present you can get from anyone

you two stare at each other for a second that feels like years and he finally breaks the silence, “you know,,, maybe i came here on purpose,,, maybe actually i want to see you,,,”

“and why is it?”

“because i think,,, i miss you,,, kinda”

and you don’t say this out loud but maybe you do know that

even if you say you’ll never

in fact you’ve already fallen for him a bit

or perhaps a lot

like a lot

then he leans in to kiss your lips and you kiss back and it’s almost not awkward at all, it just feels right as if you’ve kissed him million times before

a l m o s t

you two still blush real hard after

but yeah that’s how you two start dating

none of you two tell anyone about it but it’s pretty obvious, i mean jae always picks you up at your dorm, he walks with you to your class or vice versa (if your classes don’t overlap tho), you two keep stealing glances at each others, also—

jae with you: “hey,,,, come here sit with me u3u,,,,, did you have lunch??? oh i wrote a song last night check this out,,,, what are you gonna do this saturday? oml you’re so cute”

jae with everyone else: “HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PRICK ALSO BRIAN FUCKING KANG IF YOU STEAL MY FUCKING FRIES AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK”

welp actually he’s not always sweet with you, sometimes you two still argue about silly things using mixed languages but now everyone in the club knows better to just run away once it begins

because it’ll end up with you two fighting or you two kissing

yes im nasty and a disappointment bye

btw wonpil is excited af it’s almost like he’s dating you both

“it’s really nice seeing you two finally together!!!!!!! especially because jaehyung really couldn’t shut up about you ever since the first day you joined our music club”

“wait wha-”

“YOU SNAKE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET FUCK OFF”

I’m so in love with park jaehyung y'all hsnshsbsh aNYWAYS!!! 100 blocks limit has lifted from tumblr app AYEEEEE

[loverontheleft]

Don't Take Me Home

By request: oooh maybe car sex with b? perhaps teen!Brendon and you need a place bc both of your houses are occupied so you take this long romantic drive out into the middle of nowhere and just…

Brendon x reader

Warnings: dirty talk and language, car oral and sex.

Word count: 4.9k

-||-

“Brendon,” you murmur, clinging to his hand with both of yours as you leave the theater. “I don’t wanna go home.” He turns to you and meets your eyes, biting his lip. “Don’t take me home yet.” You’re practically begging now. “It’s a Thursday night, tomorrow is a teacher workday...don’t take me home.”

“But your parents…” he’s hesitating, understandably so, and you squeeze his hand, smiling up at him.

“Are out for the night. They got the sitter for Henry for the whole night.” You give a half-smile. “So they won’t know when exactly I get home. But…” and you tug him closer as you get to his car, leaning up against the side so he presses against you. “Home is also not an option. We’d never make it upstairs without the sitter noticing and the couch is obviously not a viable location for making out.”

“Hmmmm.” He’s considering and he smiles down at you. “I do want to make out with you.” You nod and tip your head up to kiss under his jaw. He groans and presses against you more. “I really want to make out with you,” he murmurs, his arms tightening around your waist, fingertips brushing the waist of your skirt. “Damn, I mean...Y/n, I...fuck,” he sighs helplessly.

“What about your house?” You look up at him hopefully and he shakes his head regretfully, pushing a hand through his hair. “Oh damn, your parents are having that dinner party, aren’t they?” He nods, eyes shut. You can feel him against you and you rock your hips gently. “We should at least get in the car,” you tell him, lips moving over his neck again.

“You’re right...get in the car, Angel,” he tells you, moving his hands down your back and over your curves. “Get in the car, please.” He shifts you slightly so he can open your door. “God, get in the car so I can kiss you, Y/n.” You slip under his arm and settle into the seat. He crosses around the front of the car and yanks open his door. “Come here.” He beckons you urgently and you clamber over the center console to settle in his lap, skirt spreading, as he reaches down between his legs and slides his seat back.

“Hi, B,” you giggle, cupping his cheek. He turns his head slightly to kiss your palm before brushing a finger down your jawline to curl under your chin and draw you close. At his touch, you weaken. At his kiss, you melt into him. You can feel his groan rumble through his chest as your tongue teases his; he clutches you closer and you rock against him as he murmurs how much he loves you. “I love you,” you tell him. “I love you so much.”

“Let me keep kissing you,” he begs, snaking an arm around your waist and rubbing back against you, matching your movements. “I gotta- Angel, please.” You nod, telling him yes, and he freezes. “Yes?” He doesn’t want to sound too hopeful, but you can feel his body tensing under yours.

“Yes,” you repeat. “I want you too. I need to come too.” You pause and look at him carefully. “That isn’t what you meant, oh god, Bren - I’m-“ and you cover your face with your hands, blushing deeply.

“Hush, Y/n,” he says softly, moving your hands and crushing your mouths back together. When you part for air, he stares at you longingly. “It is what I meant - but we can’t- not here.” You glance around, confused, and he clarifies. “I mean. It’ll have to be in my car I think...I mean, if you don’t object...we don’t have a lot of options,” and he grins ruefully, nuzzling your nose with his. “...but not here. Not in the movie theater parking lot. We need to go...somewhere else.”

“So take me somewhere else,” you whisper, nuzzling his jawline. “Take me somewhere we can be alone.” He nods and kisses down your neck, hands squeezing your hips and tugging you down against the bulge in his jeans for a brief moment before urging you back into your seat.

“We might be driving for a bit,” Brendon warns you, his hand moving up your skirt and over your thigh. “But I’ll try to be quick.”

“Just get me somewhere we can be alone safely,” you tell him, resting your head on his shoulder and shifting slightly so his hand slips between your thighs. He groans and nods, fingers flexing gently. “Need you,” you murmur, resting your hand over his. “Need you so badly.”

The drive is agony and you’re both silent, his eyes fixated on the road and yours on his face. His thumb is rubbing soft circles over your thigh and you’re subconsciously spreading your legs so he can move his hand higher. You’re both tense, and you know as soon as he parks the car, you’re going to be on top of him. It isn’t long before he pulls off the road and kills the headlights; as he does, you’re unbuckling and scrambling into his lap. “My sweet girl,” he says softly, caressing your cheek. “I love you, you know that - right?” He looks at you seriously and you nod, nuzzling his palm. “Good,” he whispers. And with that, he leans in to kiss you softly as your hands move to his jeans. Quickly, you unbutton and unzip them so you can reach inside and wrap a hand around his erection. “Fuck,” he groans, letting his head drop back on the headrest. “Your hand, Y/n, your hand is so nice.”

You stroke him firmly and he grunts, hips bucking up to your grasp. “Want you,” you tell him, and he nods, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you in place while he leans to rummage through the glovebox. When he produces a foil packet, you take it eagerly and rip it open, meeting his eyes as you roll it over his hard length. “Need you,” you murmur, rising up above him slightly so you can guide him into you.

“Fuck, Angel,” Brendon groans, fingers flexing against your hips as you sink down and settle into his lap. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” you tell him, resting your forehead against his. “I love you too.” You gasp when he moves against you, lips finding yours. “Oh god,” you whisper, clutching his shoulders. “Brendon, I can’t - I’m gonna-“ you’re at a loss for words, your thighs burning and back starting to hurt. You look at him helplessly, frustration and discomfort evident.

“It’s okay, we can stop,” he tells you, and you protest, whining and shifting so you’re resting against the steering wheel, telling him to fuck you like this. “Yeah?” He watches you carefully. “Is this okay? Is this better?” You nod and he leans over to kiss your neck. “My Angel, letting me fuck her in my car; she’s such a good girl.” He’s whispering this against your skin as he nibbles along your neck and collarbone. “My girl gonna come for me?”

“Yeah,” you moan, back arching off of the wheel as you press yourself against him. You’re both fully clothed, with his jeans down just enough and your skirt bunched around your waist. “Yeah, I’m gonna-“

“Be my sweet girl and come for me,” Brendon pleads, hips moving faster now. You close your eyes and nod, clinging to him. “Baby, you gotta - I can’t - you feel too good,” he murmurs. “You gotta come first, oh fu-yes, fuck!” His voice drops into a practically guttural moan as you clench around him, coming hard. “Yes, Y/n, come for me,” he encourages.

“Fuck! Brendon, yes, yes, yes!” Your eyes are wide and you’re moving against him eagerly. “Your...fuck,” you manage. “Your turn.” He bites your shoulder and you feel him pulse with his orgasm, the heat - even with the condom - spreading through you. “Oh god yes, Brendon, yes!” He’s gasping your name as you tug at his hair, both of your hips moving gracelessly. “Holy fuck,” you whisper when your pulse evens out. “That was…”

“Yeah,” he agrees, pushing his hair out of his eyes so you can launch yourself forward and kiss him hard. “I love you,” he repeats, your lips moving together tenderly. “I love you so much.”

-||-

“Brendon!” You squeal with laughter as he lifts you off your feet and tosses you over his shoulder outside the bar where he’s just finished a small acoustic set. The rest of his bandmates laugh and turn away, giving you some privacy. “Urie, you’re drunk,” you declare, beating your fists against his back gently. “And I’m drunk. Put me down.” Obligingly, he places you back on your feet and looks at you.

“Are you really drunk?” He’s examining your face closely. “You know my rule, Y/n.” He wags his finger at you playfully. “No sex if you’re inebriated.”

“Well I know you’re not drunk,” you shoot back teasingly. “Getting ‘inebriated’ on the first try.” He laughs and pulls you close, burying his face in your neck, murmuring that he’s not drunk. “I’m not either,” you promise, scratching at his back idly. “Definitely tipsy, but not drunk.”

“Yeah? You wanna hang out for a bit more, sober up, then get out of here?” He looks at you suggestively and you nod, wrapping your arms around his waist. “My place is off limits; Shane is hosting game night,” he tells you, and you frown.

“Hannah is doing some Mary Kay party,” you say with frustration evident. “So both of our places are off the table.” You’re both visibly frustrated by this until an idea pops in his head. “What?” You look at him suspiciously. “You’ve got your thinking face on…”

“Mmmm,” he agrees, kissing your jawline. “Thinking about senior year, when we fucked in my car after the movies.” You laugh and he gives you a teasing look. “You remember, don’t you, Angel? You begged,” and he stresses the word ‘begged’ with relish, “not to take you home yet. You were desperate for me.”

“I always am,” you murmur, tipping your head back to give his lips more space to roam. “Don’t you know your girl is addicted to you?” He grins, grabbing your hips and pulling you flush against him. “You can’t do that,” you warn him. “Feeling you like this gets me going, you know that.” He mumbles that he does know that and he likes it. “Tease,” you give him a playful shove and he bites at your neck in response. “Fuck,” you groan. “You gotta stop, Bren. You’re making me want you more and more and I know I can’t have you. We don’t have any place to go.”

He pulls back and gives you a curious look. “Angel, didn’t you hear me say that I was remembering senior year?” You nod and he grins when he realizes that you clearly aren’t getting it. “We’ve got a car,” he tells you. Your eyes widen. “Yeah,” he nods. “Exactly. We’ve got a car. Give me twenty minutes and a bottle of water, and I’ll be good to get us out of here and somewhere we can be alone.”

After he’s sober enough for both of your likings, he loops an arm around your waist and pulls you close, leading you back out into the parking lot. “Take me somewhere we can be alone,” you tell him, running a finger down his chest. “Want to be someplace private with my man.” He nods and opens your door for you, closing it after you. He settles in the car and inhales sharply when your hand rests on his upper thigh. Without commenting, he puts the car in drive and leaves the parking lot, fingers wrapped tightly around the wheel. “You doing okay there, Urie?” You tease, squeezing his thigh. He nods, giving you a quick glance.

“I’m doing great. Thinking about eating out my girlfriend in the backseat of this car. You?”

“Fuck,” you mumble, letting your head roll back as your fingers trail over his erection. “That wasn’t what I was thinking, but it sure is now.” He grins, telling you to keep thinking about it. “I will,” you promise. “The way you kiss my inner thighs and nibble along my pussy, letting your tongue tease me…” you close your eyes. “Damn...want you between my legs, baby.”

“Want to be there,” he reassures you. “Want to taste my sweet girl’s pussy as she rubs against my face. Wanna make her come with my fingers and my tongue. Wanna lick her clit and make her squeal, wanna see her lose control when my tongue teases her. Wanna watch her from between her pretty thighs, wanna hold her hips and kiss her all over…”

“Brendon,” you moan, wriggling in your seat. “Need you. Hurry.” He nods and, scanning the road once more, pulls off into a deserted clearing. “This isn’t sketchy at all,” you remark as you climb into the backseat. He laughs as he follows you.

“Do you want me to go back to driving so we can keep loo- oh god.” He cuts himself off when you slide your jeans down your thighs, leaving you in his favorite pink lace underwear. “I’m not driving anymore,” he tells you, kneeling between your legs on the backseat.

“You look horribly uncomfortable,” you remark, watching him try to bend down far enough to taste you. “We can reevaluate positions if you need.”

“Yeah,” he groans, rolling his neck. “I love eating you out and that position was going to ruin it. I’m just gonna-“ and he slips off the seat so he’s kneeling in the foot space, back against the back of the passenger seat. “Now if you’ll scoot down and-“ he beckons you and as you move, he reaches up and spreads your legs while coaxing you forward. “Is this comfortable?” He pushes one of your knees up so it’s parallel to the back of the seat.

“Yeah, I’m good. You?”

“Definitely better. It’s a tight fit, but I’d put up with far worse circumstances to get your pussy on my tongue, Angel.” He grins at you and rubs his thumb over the dark center of your panties. “Right through...damn…” Brendon sighs, and you watch his eyes dilate in pleasure at the mere thought of tasting you. “So wet, Y/n…”

“I am,” you agree in a low voice. “You should do something about it. It is your fault after all.” You grin at him and he laughs appreciatively, pressing warm, open-mouthed kisses to your thigh as he shifts higher onto his knees to get closer. “This is an interesting change, you being on your knees for me.”

“You make it sound like I don’t-“ Brendon starts to protest, clearly insulted at the idea of his not loving to eat you out, and you shake your head.

“No, no- I just mean this position. You’re very generous with your mouth, baby, and I love it. But we’re usually in bed or I’m on top of you. You’re not normally on your knees. That’s all.” You tug his hair affectionately and rolling your hips towards his mouth.

“That’s better,” he comments with a grin. “Didn’t think you were taking my mouth for granted or anything...but I’d hold out on you if I needed to prove a point.” You pout and he laughs. “We both know I wouldn’t last long.” He gives you a teasing lick, letting the tip of his tongue move in a quick circle over your clit. You gasp and your back arches; you tug at his hair and he makes a soft sound of approval, switching to deep, slow strokes while his fingers slide into your heat.

“Oh fuck, don’t stop,” you groan, rocking under him. “Brendon, baby, so good, lick it honey, just - oh god, so fucking good!” His fingers curl and his thumb rubs; his eyes meet yours as he mouths over you, tongue rolling repeatedly against your clit. “Oooooh shit!” The squeal is practically ripped from your body and your eyes snap open wide. “Brendon, yes! Yes yes yes!!” The leg that is parallel to the seat back drops and pins his head between your thighs; he groans, pressing closer and keeping his fingers moving. “Oh god!” Your voice is high and tight and you’re rocking eagerly against his mouth, holding him in place with your grip in his hair and the pressure of your thighs. “Making me come, oh fuck!”

“Come for me, Angel,” he begs in a muffled voice that sends you over the edge, shrieking and moaning and swearing. “That’s my good girl,” Brendon murmurs when your hips stop moving and your legs part, freeing him. He starts licking your inner thighs idly, watching you with dark eyes. “My Angel knows how much I love her coming on my face. Love tasting you, licking you, sucking you...my good girl.” He places a soft kiss against your hip before crawling up on top of you, propping himself up on his forearms over you.

“Kiss me,” you say softly, craning your neck to reach his mouth. “Need you.” You throw an arm around his back and press him to you; he grunts as his full body weight comes down on you and your legs tighten around his hips. “Any chance of you whipping that cock out and fucking me while we’re back here?”

“You did not just use the phrase ‘whipping that cock out,’ did you?” Brendon looks at you in amusement, body shaking with suppressed laughter. “I cannot take you seriously with those words coming from your perfect mouth.” You blush and he laughs, catching your lips again. “I will fuck you, but only if you promise to never use that phrase again.”

“That’s a more than fair deal,” you agree, before zipping your lips shut. “I got a little carried away, sorry. In hindsight, not my most sexy phrasing.” He laughs again and kisses you hard, one hand cupping your face while the other works between your bodies to unzip his jeans. When, together, you’ve worked his jeans down his legs, he grips your thigh and rocks into you slowly. “Oh god, feels so good.”

“Yeah,” Brendon groans, face buried in the crook of your neck. “Oh god, yeah. Angel, you feel so fucking good...” He’s moving at a painfully slow pace and you squirm under him, trying to get more. “Patience,” he chides, lifting your leg higher on his waist so he can fill you. “I’m gonna take care of you, Y/n.”

“Yeah,” you manage, both hands clawing at his back through his shirt. “Yeah, feels so good; Brendon, my god, yes!” His mouth is moving over your neck and the way he’s holding you, keeping your hips tipped up so he can go deep, is sending you closer and closer to the edge with each thrust. “Brendon, baby, you’re gonna make me- oh god, please don’t stop, please, please, please!”

“Yes, Y/n, oh god, your pussy feels so - you feel so- oh fuck, Y/n, I’m gonna come,” Brendon groans, picking up speed and biting desperately at your neck. “Can I come, Angel? Can I come in you?”

“Fuck, please!” You scratch at him desperately, the pleasure you’re feeling evident in every breath and word and movement. “Come, Brendon, come for me.” You feel his body shudder against yours and it pushes you over the edge; you feel yourself tense around him as your back arches. He groans and you whimper when he comes. “Yes,” you moan, clinging to him. “Oh fuck, yes!”

“Angelbaby,” Brendon murmurs, breathing hard. “My sweet girl, my good girl, my perfect girl looks so good coming on me…” he’s stroking your hair now, lips pressed to your forehead.

“Brendon,” you whisper, tipping your head back to kiss him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” he replies, twisting a lock of hair around his index finger. “I love you so much. God, I want to marry you.”

You freeze and you look at him with wide eyes. “You don’t mean that.” Your voice is soft. You pause. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” Brendon tells you without hesitation, voice steady. “Yes, I meant it. I don’t - this isn’t me asking - I’ll do better; I’ll make it romantic, and fuck, I’ve ruined everything by saying something now- ah, shit Y/n, I’m so sorry; you deserve-“

“Yes,” you murmur, kissing him. “Yes. Yes, Brendon. Yes.” His face lights up and he takes you in his arms, peppering your face in soft kisses. “Yes.”

-||-

“Y/n Y/m/n Urie, your husband needs your help!” Brendon’s voice rings through your bedroom and you shake your head with a laugh, putting down your contour brush and heading for his closet. “Hi, Angel,” he murmurs, opening his arms for you to step into his embrace. “Will you pick out a jacket?” You both look at the pile on the floor.

“B,” you say with a smile. “You are thirty-four years old and what’s more, you manage to pick out clothes for and dress our children every day. You can’t pick out your own jacket?” You look pointedly at the suit jackets on the floor around him.

“I just want to look good,” he grumbles playfully, swinging your entangled hands back and forth. “My Angel is having a birthday party tonight and I just want to look good enough to be on her arm.”

“You’re sweet, Brendon,” you soften, hugging him. “You know you’ll look good in anything.” He looks at you expectantly and you smile, bending down and selecting a black jacket with metallic detailing. “This one. I’m wearing that black dress you bought me last week, so this will look good with it.”

“I don’t mean to make it about me,” Brendon murmurs in your ear as he slips his arms into the jacket. “I just-“ but you silence him with a kiss.

“It’s all good, B,” you assure him, kissing his neck. He groans and rolls his head back, letting you step closer so you can keep working your lips up his neck and behind his ear. “Want you to be comfortable. Want the photos to look good - know we’re gonna be taking photos, so…” you nip behind his ear and let your hand slide down between his legs; you grin when he grunts and rocks forward into your palm.

“Angel, don’t tease me right now,” Brendon pleads, wrapping an arm around your waist and rubbing himself against your hand. “You know I want you.” You slip out of his grasp and coax him to the door, curling a finger as you linger in the doorway. Without hesitation, he follows you out to the driveway.

“Does it ever amaze you that we’ve been wanting each other for seventeen years?” You look at him with a sweet smile once you’re both settled in the car. “We started dating the night before my seventeenth birthday. And here we are now.” You rest your hand on his thigh.

“Here we are now,” Brendon agrees, moving your hand higher. “Married with two beautiful children; meanwhile you don’t look a day over twenty-two.” You wink at him and palm his dick through his pants gently, rolling your hand to hold him in place while still driving him wild. He wraps a hand around your wrist to keep your hand in place against him. “God, you get me so hard,” Brendon groans after a minute, and you squeeze lightly. “Fuck, Y/n, teasing me so good…”

“Me? Tease? Never,” you grin at him. “But my husband is so hard for me…really I’m just teasing myself…” you moan and squeeze his erection. “Seventeen years with you and fucking you and I’m still insatiable.”

“Like I mind,” Brendon says, watching you through heavy eyes. “Wanna fuck my Angel good for her birthday…” you both glance ahead of you, gauging the distance to the venue and then at the digital display clock. “I think we have time,” he tells you. “I’m gonna pull over now.”

“Now?” You look around, confused. “Here? Why?” He stares at you hungrily, still moving your hand over his erection and it dawns on you. You smirk at him and open your door as he parks the car so you can crawl into the backseat. “You’re bad, Urie,” you tell him.

“You love it,” he shoots back, following you. “Now, slide that dress up and brace yourself against the window.” You obey and put a hand flat against the window, dipping your hips in offering to him. “That’s my good girl,” Brendon murmurs as he rocks into you from behind. “Seventeen years together, so she knows exactly how she likes me to fuck her. Such a good girl, my Angel. But she’s my dirty girl too, isn’t she? Look at her, on her knees in the back of this car, showing me her wet pussy, showing me where she wants my cock. Yes, honey, yes, gonna give you my cock,” Brendon groans as he starts moving slowly.

“Brendon!” You yelp his name and he spanks you gently. “Oooh!” You give a small squeal of pleasure at the contact and push back for more; he obliges and moves faster, moaning your name as he works. Carefully, you move your other hand to the window so you can fully brace yourself against the glass. You spread your knees slightly so you’re more stable on the cushion of the backseat; Brendon shifts with you and just the feeling of his hands on your hips as he thrusts into you hard is overwhelming your senses. “Yes, Brendon, yes!” Your voice breaks with pleasure and he moans, kissing your neck and digging his fingers into your hips.

“My - Angel - gets - fucked - good - for - her - birth - day,” he pants, filling you fast and hard with one hand moving to rub your clit while the other wraps your hair around his fist, tugging gently and making you moan louder than you have yet. “That’s right,” he murmurs in your ear. “Let me hear how much you love getting fucked in our car like we’re still horny teenagers.”

“Brendon! Love it, love you, love your cock, oh fuck fuck fuck! Brendon make me come!” You’re gasping and moaning and bucking back against him, head tipped back so he can hear you clearly. “Fuck me, make me come!”

“My Angel wants to come?”

“Please!” You’re whimpering now and he bites your neck lightly, making you squeal and tighten around his cock as he thrusts hard.

“Good girl, begging for it. Come,” Brendon tells you, doubling his pace before bending over you and resting his hand on the window to keep himself upright. “Oh fuck, Y/n, I’m gonna come, gonna make me come!”

“Ooooh shit!” Your words come out high and loud and you push back onto him as you come. “Oh fuck shit Brendon yes fuck fuck fuck!”

“Angel, fu-“ Brendon manages his pet name for you before his body tenses over you and you feel him come, fast and hot. “Yes, fuck yes…”

Both of you are breathing hard and trying to steady yourselves when he pulls back and out of you. “Fuck,” you say with a breathless laugh. “The car has changed, but we haven’t.” He laughs too, leaning over to fix your hair. “Now we have to go be polite and civilized and appropriate at this party, don’t we?”

“Afraid so,” Brendon groans, settling into the seat behind the driver’s and running a hand through his own hair after tugging his pants back up into place. “But it is a party for you thrown by your husband, so I think we can get away with a certain level of…whatever,” he says with a laugh. You nod and push your dress down before flipping around to rest your head on his shoulder. “Hi, Angel,” he murmurs, shifting to kiss your forehead.

“Hi.” you smile up at him, snuggling into his arm as he drapes it around you. “We broke tradition,” you point out, tracing hearts on his pant leg. He gives you a curious look and you smirk. “We always fucked in the car after whatever we were at because we couldn’t or didn’t want to go home.”

“ Oh no,” Brendon says in mock horror, grinning at you. He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text and when he catches your inquisitive look, he laughs. “I just asked Steph to stay later with the kids, because it sounds like I’ll have to fuck my perfect wife in the car again before we get home to our beautiful children. Obviously, I didn’t tell her that last part. But still, my life is so hard, clearly.” He gives you a faux-longsuffering expression, making you laugh.

“Mmmm, your life is hard,” you agree, kissing his cheek and palming him through his pants. “Just make sure that when we leave the party, your cock is too.”