#oh my jod

[monatorasart]

Need to escape with this briefcase, what better way than with a cow!

[faloverfae]

Almost Jorting

West Jortginia

Blue Ridge Jortains

Shenandenim river

Jorts are old there

Older than the jeans

Younger than the jortains

Jortin like a breeze

Jortry joooooooaaaaaads

Take me joooooooome

To the jlaaaaaaace

I jortlooooooooong

West Jortginiaaaaaaaa

Jortain jamaaaaaaa

Take me joooooooome

Jortry joooooooaaaaaads

[nomomio]

I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE REALIZATION HOLY SHIT WHEN JOD TOLD HARROW "NO ONE HAS TO KNOW" IN RESPONSE TO THE CONFESSION OF THE 9TH HOUSE GENOPHAGE THAT BIRTHED HER, IT WASN'T OUT OF CARING EMPATHY TOWARDS AN EXTREMELY ABUSED CHILD, IT WAS BECAUSE HE HASN'T TOLD ANYONE HOW HE BECAME GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY MAN PANICKED BECAUSE HARROW'S PARENTS NEARLY REPLICATED HIS CARDINAL SIN FROM 10,000 YEARS AGO AND IS TRYING TO HIDE THAT HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS AND SUBSEQUENT CONSUMPTION OF 8 BILLION HUMANS

[thebad-lydrawn-sanses]

*randomly spawned a sassy cat in their castle.*

Cross's shirt: bone hurting juice (image depicting text)

Cross: i can make it to the kitchen i can make it to the kitchen i can make it to the kitchen i can make it to the kitchen i can-

sassy cat: (poof)

Cross: .

Cross: pspspspspspsps

[illisidifan]

Hahahahaha wtf... why is this so accurate though...

My favourite thing about John Gaius is that he's the most Millennial villain imaginable:

Evil, but not in a way that involves a deliberate choice of morality vs immorality in the traditional sense. Just angry, disillusioned, hurt, and unable to see a good way out of a shitty situation, so he figures he might as well... Do All That.

Does in fact not seem to have a firm moral framework of any kind.

Winging it. Always.

Bumbling and socially inapt, in a way he thinks is endearing, but that everyone else just finds wildly annoying.

Perfectly capable of getting his shit together when the situation forces him to, but just cannot be arsed most of the time. (Weaponised incompetence, anyone?)

Overinflated sense of self, but tied into a massive inferiority complex. Also, entitlement issues. (Built a strictly hierarchical empire with himself at the top, but likes to wear jeans and T-shirts and considers himself to be just some guy. Still makes everyone call him God.)

Member of an extended polycule where everyone hates him.

Disaster bi.

Emperor of half the universe, but his living situation is essentially a shitty flatshare. They even cook terrible food together.

Desperate for affection but completely terrible at relationships. Mistakes sex for emotional intimacy at every turn.

Stumbles into unplanned fatherhood by accident (from his side anyway) and to exactly nobody's surprise turns out to be a terrible dad.

Likes to pretend everything is fine and normal, even when it really, really isn't.

When that becomes untenable, he runs away from his problems, creating worse ones in the process.

Nostalgic for a bygone past, but in the most superficial way possible.

Irony poisoning.

[hummingbirblack]

I think the most interesting thing this book tackles is jod dealing with being... what was it that tamsyn said ?? The male god of a universe in which the divine is essentially feminine. He literally locks away his feminine counterpart. Also the usage of "son" and "prince" for even his female hands and fingers.. calling the angel/aim "sir".

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MESSAGE, BY THE WAY. Also I don't understand… Wait. No yeah I don't understand who he's (He's?) talking to In the dream. Because it's Alecto, right? "I still love you." But she responds to Harrowhark.

And also, you know, it is her, obviously, because it was Harrowhark at the end of those dreams walking to the ninth house. And then it's like, okay, but what about the fact that harrow is in love with the corpse, and, but the corpse is the body created by god for the spirit of, what, earth??? After god turned earth inside out???? And she (earth spirit maybe, aka Alecto/Annabel) devoted herself to the bloodline of Anastasia keeper of the tomb? HER tomb ?????? ALSO. both Pyrrha AND G1deon fucked Gideon's mom???? Or was Pyrrha just, using G1deon’s body to have an affair with her????????? And ????????? GIDEON AND IANTHE ARE FUCKING BEST FRIENDS ???????????? AND GIDEON IS THIS FUCKING SCORNED DAUGHTER AND SHE LOST THE ONLY GIRL SHE COULD EVER POSSIBLY LOVE AND CAM AND PAL ARE JUST. FUCKING. THEYRE PAUL NOW????????????????????

HOW DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE WHAT IS GOING ON. I NEED TO TAKE A MONTH OFF

[knotst3r1l3]

curse these wretched organs vro what the Fuck man !!!!!!!

[lock-tess-monster]

I've been working on this since April and was really hoping to finish it before Pride was over.

[autistic-cowgirl]

[soup-mother]

[Jigsaw voice]

Hello locked tomb fan, i see you are doing fancasts for your favourite book series. your task is to name literally any Māori celebrity who is not Taika Waititi, it can be anyone, literally anyone else.

hell please just name literally any other Māori person, to prove you know about anyone other than the funny pirate show guy. you can admit you don't know any, that's alright, just say that. but like i really just need you to acknowledge that Aoteroa is an actual real place with people in it other than Taika Waititi.

live or die, your choice.

[rottingsoftly]

Thinking about the parallels between Harrow and John in htn rn. How the lyctors wanted John to kill Alecto and instead her chained her for an eternity. How Harrow was supposed to consume Gideon's soul but tried to keep her alive-ish by way of lobotomy.

[princeofpaths]

i feel so much joy whenever i see someone accurately use the word cryonics now

[vicsplinters]

When you're talking about your favorite houses from the Locked Tomb and accidentally start singing Get Low...

Because it's 3, 6, 9...

[chellyfishing]

😭 my bestie is the best bestie

[eikotheblue]

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