#oh my god that was so much rambling. this isnt even the point of the fic btw. this is just. backstory. worldbuilding.

[arolesbianism]

Sigh. It begins (being forced to see the worst aro hcs I've ever seen in my life because ppl have a talent for finding the absolute worst characters to be their token aro hc)

[feukt-42]

Elden ring + Shadow of the Erdtree lore thoughts

Alright, so, first off, obviously, spoilers ahead.

I've been thoroughly enjoying and getting my ass kicked by SotE and what ive seen of the lore so i wanted to ramble about it.

I specifically wanted to talk about how Elden Ring explores power and godhood.

In the base game, godhood isnt seen as inherently bad. Marika's golden order is fucked up six ways to sunday, but the blame mainly rests on Marika's shoulders it seems. She's a genocidal homewrecking war-mongerer who threw two of her children in the sewers bc of racism, she's not a good god, but it doesnt portray the problem as her being a god, just her being a mess. The game provides several "solutions" to unfuck everything :

Ranni's ending has you completely throw the system in the trash. She says, fuck it, godhood's the problem, im out of here. She is kinda right, but the lands remain fractured and the power vacuum left behind is going to be immense. We're on the right track but could be better.

The frenzied flame ending is just pure concentrated nihilism so i think we can move past it for this one.

The bunch of other endings are fairly similar : you beat Marika/Radagon's ass and you impose yourself as Elden Lord to keep her in check and fix the issues you see as most important. This doesnt fix anything long-term, the god in power is still the exact same fucking mess but with a chaperone now i guess.

None of these endings are very satisfying, they all leave you with a sense of "it could be worse i guess" (except the frenzied flame one but you get the point). This is where Miquella comes in :

Everything we hear about Miquella sounds great. He's kind, compassionate, against racism, doesnt like violence, etc etc. Cherry on top, he's even one of the characters with a direct shot at godhood, brilliant ! Why cant we just put him in charge, he'll do much better than the absolute wreck we have right now.

And thats where the base game leaves us, Marika is a fucked up mess of a person, and the obvious solution is to put the much better Miquella in her place.

Shadow of the erdtree, on the other hands, aims to set the record straight. The problem wasnt just Marika, the problem is inherent to godhood in and of itself.

In SotE, we see the land of shadow, the realm where Marika came from and ascended to godhood, and the realm where Miquella intends to do the same. And the more we hear about who Marika was before in snippets of lore, and the more we watch Miquella tread the road to godhood, we realise something :

There is no such thing as a good god

It doesnt matter how kind and compassionate you were, what your morals were, who you loved, who you loathed, none of it matters because you cannot grasp the power to become a god without sacrificing who you were before.

In the dlc we see Miquella shed more and more of himself, his flesh, his arms, his eye, his heart, his doubts, his fears and even his love. Miquella has shorn so much of who he was that he formed an entire new person (St Trina) from it. Some of him remains, he still wishes for a kinder world, but he cant sacrifice anymore of himself for it. Now he has to start sacrificing others.

Miquella was always blessed with the ability to charm others, and he sees it as the least painful path to make others do as he wishes. And so he charms his sister, he charms Mohg, he charms Radahn, his followers, Leda, Moore, Thiollier, Freyja, the hornsent, Ansbach, and everyone he can convince to give themselves up for his dream of a kinder world, regardless of the pain they might cause or feel by being enthralled by him.

And oh boy do they feel pain. Mohg is used and discarded like a ragdoll, and his followers and dynasty slowly crumble to nothing as the last pureblood knight watches helplessly, himself entranced by the one responsible after he failed to kill him. Radahn's soul is shoved in a corpse so that he can play consort to a god that is his antithesis, depriving him of his glory and honour as lord of the battlefield. Malenia is left alone to rot after Miquella has no use or help for her, and she endlessly waits for her brother to return. Every one of Miquella's followers has to grapple with those feelings of betrayal, manipulation, and lost memories returning all at once. It is by no means painless.

And so we end up with a god that is not much better than Marika was. On his path to godhood, Miquella has caused as much pain to those along the way as his mother once did, in this very same land that still feels the scars of Marika's ascension.

The only way to gain power is to take it from everyone else, and that cannot be achieved without pain.

[songspirits]

rating fanon portrayals of the outsiders boys

note: my guesses on the canon personalities probably arent even true lol this is my opinion

-

ponyboy curtis

5/10

sometimes the portrayals are really good!! but i hate that often, people portray him either as a moody brat or a weak baby. he is canonically a good fighter, especially after the fire, though he doesn’t like to. hes a loner, hes a reader, hes a pacifist, hes a good kid.

you have to remember that the outsiders is literally written in HIS POINT OF VIEW!!! ofc yes he’s a sassy and snarky teenager but he is also so intelligent and smart. hes a loner, but the gang would never shun his company. he has so much depth that a lot of writers often forget. hes a 14 year old kid with thoughts of a adult and can only do so much. thats what makes the outsiders so relatable to alot of people. its his intelligence that makes him and darry argue, because of how darry sees himself in ponyboy

but also on the other side of the coin ponyboy is a fragile character after the events of the book, because he is 14!!! but he has thoughts!!

i feel like people forget his good traits and only focus on the bad (and oh my goodness does this count for darry too!)

sorry for my rambles i just love his character so much :-(

darry curtis

7/10

besides fanfiction.net and like 30% of the fics on ao3 hes actually a solid portrayal most of the time, but tons of people forget that his relationship with ponyboy wasnt actually that batshit awful. sure theyd butt heads alot and go back and forth but they love each other thats why they did that. hes so much more than just an angry man who happens to be ponyboys brother.

hes a man who peaked in high school (IM KIDDING) and lost it all not because of his brothers but because of his parents. there was probably some strong resentment there for a while until they died. darrys problem or flaw is that he cares too much and his fear turns to anger. its love for sodapop and ponyboy that brings him back when he realizes his anger is doing more bad than good for his little brothers. It’s opening up and allowing his brothers in that helps his character.

that being said, people often focus more on his bad traits than his good traits. its a running theme in the outsiders fandom, i’ve noticed

sodapop curtis

7.5/10

highest rating i have on this list!! fanfiction.net outsider fics ive gotta say i actually just cant handle it so thats why it isnt a full 8 and ao3 is a 50/50

people put that hes soft but also forget that hes wild. hes batshit CRAZY. hes just as protective as darry and just as snarky as ponyboy. hes soft!! hes rough!! sodapop curtis is a dynamic character!!!!

johnny

5/10

ehhhhhh, most johnny portrayals i’ve seen are either really good or really bad. kinda ponyboy’s problem, being seen as weak. hes just a dynamic character who is allowed to be weak but also has so many strong traits about him. he is a frightened wounded animal to most but to the gang hes something more than that. also, snarky and ‘over’ johnny portrayals are great.

dallas

4/10

most portrayals i’ve seen are pretty good but its the same problem ive seen in all the boys— they only focus on a few traits dallas has (aggressive, tough, hardened) and stick with that. forgetting the youth in dallas winston and making his character honestly… less tragic?

imo the tragedy of the outsiders is the youthfulness in all the boys and how shitty situations couldnt make them more vulnerable, so i would love more of a vulnerable dallas in fics around the gang. another thing, people forget how much ponyboy really does mean to dallas. johnny and ponyboy were both his brothers and he’d did so much for the both of them precisely bc of that

two-bit

5/10

again.💔people forget how DYNAMIC these characters are!!! two-bit knows when to get serious for the love of god!!

steve

1/10

what portrayal. ☹️ppl dont write him enough and if they do its like one line #justiceforsteve

in conclusion

the outsiders fandom often have such good portrayals but only for one part of their character. this isnt to shame anyone or anything!! but this is just a helpful criticism ?? for any writers out there portraying the boys!! trust me i had to think abt this too lmao

[raintailed]

PLEASE i am CLAWING THE WALLS i gotta talk about regicide oh my god.

My headcanon artificer's story basically has her eventually fight and kill the scav king. The king respawns and Artificer's destroyed karma means she cant leave. She is also burned out on hatred, so to speak; now she is just exhausted.

And the king, who is actually pretty kind, decides that the best long-term solution to having a mass murderer trapped in your city is to pretty much declare a truce.

At first Arti is NOT happy about this arrangemenr but at least she isnt being actively hunted down anymore (this helps massively with her anxiety i'd imagine). She is still very hostile to anyone who gets too close to her den. She also has to duel a lot of scavs so they can basically get even with her for killing them (based on ideas from @its-the-sa).

Uhhh eventually Arti grows to trust the Scav King, which is a HUGE deal for someone like her. She sees herself and the King as equals (in battle, anyway). In turn, the King isn't afraid of what Artificer can do to him, but *is* afraid of what Artificer can and has done to his people.

Imagining it gets to the point where the King is able to like. Go wake up Artificer (any time before noon is early for Arti) to go to some political thing and Arti is just face down in her den going GRRRRRR. But the King knows they are just being grumpy and they won't actually hurt him. Theyre so different and yet they eventually get along so well...

ANYWAYS it is 1 am I should stop rambling for now

[theoldoor]

a little late for summertime dont you think

just some post-talia bummery from these two i love them to the point that i have to remind myself that one isnt even canon like this is torture.

I dont have much to say for this post as ive said pretty much everything about post-talia them posts prior, I DO however, have a lot of talia rambling to do- which will be saved when i doodle enough stuff for it

They still have that little bickering and bantering thing going on, passive aggressiveness with one another and being the one who gets the other into silly troubles despite both being elites. Like how Jade said Topaz and Aventurine bickers like kids, these two however, bicker like those alt older brothers in coming of age movies and his bromantic bro bestfriend (ive said this before so manu times but i cant find a better way to describe them)

mayeb something like todd and wallace but theyre vashwood if you get what i mean - i’ve also been subconsciously projecting vashwood onto these two considering fenrir calls aventurine “vasha/vash/vashu” while aventurine calls fenrir “that wolf/wolfy/dumb dog” and ive yet to realize that until very recently when i was writing something for fenrir that goes like “he valued life as others and he also bets it on me.” and i get reminded of “he feared death twice as others” and it just hits “ive been projecting vashwood onto these two oh my god”

fenrir cares for aventurine more than he wants to, but he does regardless.

"You should never ask anyone for anything. Never- and especially from those who are more powerful than yourself. They will make the offer and give it of their own accord."

It’s something that Fenrir live by, is that genuine help would come without the need for obligations afterwards. During Talia, Fenrir actively create scenarios around him that make people that he’s dependent on rely on him, out of obligations or respect. So whatever help Fenrir gives, he calculated them all so that they’d be beneficial “technically” to him.

Yet for certain individuals, those he love dearly such as Hermia, Boothill and Aventurine- He was willing to suffer a loss for them, which, for a person all for survival like Fenrir, is a tough decision to take. He broke his own ideals and virtues so that he could protect and satisfy these people, his family and he hates whenever he does that because it showed him that someone is having control over him and he’s at their mercy, which means they could just leave him and he’s very vulnerable to them. To put trust in these people so much that he’d voluntarily help them is like to trust them with his life.

i also like the concept of Talia recycling everything, even people considering some people would see that they’ve been “used” beyond so they were given a chance again. that’s why i felt like aventurine was suitable for this considering his past and his potential inferiority complex there.

the foundation between aventurine and fenrir relies on a lot of trust, and gamble as they could not read one another. it connects back to aventurine’s eidolons being game theories and avidity’s being about desires and non-co-operative game theories (one wins at expense of another while game theory is both party wins through trust and cooperation). fenrir’s eidolons are still in writing, but i want it to be based on 7 deadly sins or something, he does have a lot of religious references for the new lore rework.

fenrir was created before i know of aventurine, but i did tweaked a lot of things about him when aventurine came out. though the fundamentals still stayed, they were just made for each other rurururouuouogugh….

[steven-has-exploded]

okay ive looked over the last few chapters and the various amenogozen deaths after about a day of crisis and confusion, and ive noticed a couple things about junichirous death in specific that i think are more than worth noting

firstly, amenogozen seems to show some kind of pity for kunikida and his state of shock before it kills him, and even as its stabbing its sword into his stomach. it lets him attempt to pull it out with no resistance, albeit acting as if it makes no sense by saying it cant truly harm him- though this could potentially be seen as an attempt to "console" him

junichirou, on the other hand? nothing. amenogozen stabs the illusion he created of himself with no hesitation, and no words to spare. when it locates the real junichirou, it coldly stabs him through the brain and out the eye from behind, where he couldnt have even tried to locate its attack

under cut is further rambling, warning for that one page where junichirou gets stabbed in the eye + mentions of sexual abuse

narratively, this is definitely because of the explicit bloodlust junichirou expressed towards amenogozen; it attacked as quickly as possible with as little chance for him to fight back because he's obviously dangerous, and fyodor instructed it to kill all of the ada members there as soon as possible. but, in a more metaphorical sense, especially when comparing it to kunikidas "death" (hes not dead i dont believe any of them are like seriously) it gets. um. upsetting

considering the way it seemed to try and console kunikida as i mentioned earlier, comparisons can be drawn to that of an abusive parent, although ill just be saying its an unspecified authority figure for the sake of this rant. in this metaphor, junichirou seems to play the role of the "disobedient" victim; whereas kunikida was frozen in place and didnt do much to fight against amenogozen attacking himself specifically, junichirou was immediately aggressive and threatened amenogozen, prompting it to "punish" him as soon as possible

now, this on its own is far from groundbreaking; if you did a drinking game for every time a character was mentioned to have been abused by an authority figure in bsd youd be dead before episode 6, but its the specific imagery evoked in junichirous death scene that really gets to me

looking at this page more closely, especially in the first and third panels, brought up some EXTREMELY unsavory implications for me. the specific way that the action of him being stabbed is drawn, what with the blood oozing from around his whole eye and the way you can just barely make out what looks like the inside of the eye socket, all exacerbated by amenogozen practically pulling his hair to keep him in place and unable to fight back... look im not gonna pretend like this isnt based off my preexisting perception of junichirou and his trauma but oh my god this feels so much like an allegory for some kind of sexual exploitation, especially the fact it was the EYE in particular which is an already existing opening in the body kind of

could this just be me going insane? very much so, not gonna deny it. do i fullheartedly believe thats whats being pointed at here? yeah actually

and the worst part of it is that junichirou is just so dejected during this whole thing. he pointed out his location to amenogozen when it stabbed his illusion, phrased his request to atsushi as if it were last words, and was just in general so horribly unsurprised by the attack. whatever this is symbolizing, my personal interpretation or not, junichirou has grown so used to it he cant even bring himself to act like he really cares about it anymore. youre going to hell kafka asagiri

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

The Drakes Spoiled Brat playlist :)

My ramblings for each song below- (Also feel free to share any recs)

Oh No! (MARINA)- This is legitimently the perfect trash Tim song, it outlines all his motivations and the entire vibe of "Oh this is so fucked up- but hes doing it to himself" prophecy of his death and all.

Flight of the Crows (Jhariah)- The entire vibe of "Im being welcomed but I don't belong here, not anymore and maybe never" Tim is the literal personification of "flight" as a fear response and begging his family to forget him for good.

Nobody(Mitski)- Tim being so isolated while surrounded by people, but its "for the greater good" right? If he wants too much he could ruin everything. And yet he still longs for that connection even for just a moment. But for now there is nobody-

Colors(Hasley)- I can assign meaning to every little lyric I swear to god. (Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so??? perfection) It isn't even exclusive to this AU just the entire characterization of Tim as someone who has been through so much and lost so much more and goes on anyways.

United in Grief(Kendrick Lamar)- Honestly i'm just bias towards this strong. But also the beginning of desperate "Tell them the truth" only to be cut off. Add on the entire vibe of living in the lap of luxury but finding no joy in it all other than temporary. "28 years young" as well just AHH-

Teen Idle(MARINA)- Tim lost his childhood not once but twice- the first time because he became Robin, and this time because he was the only one who could "save them". Does he regret it? No. But theres moments where hes Alan or Timothy and he forgets about everything else, for just a little bit.

Gasoline(Hasley)- Timmy gets a little mental breakdown as a treat <33 He knows how people see Timothy Drake, and he embraces the role out of nessisity- but acting as someone who you hate weighs to the point its hard to feel real isn't it?

I Cant Fix you (The Living Tombstone)- (Im a sucker for FNAF songs okay???) BUT ANYWAYYSS- Tim has fixed so so much and saved so many more, but he continuines to "fail" there continuies to be people he cant save and it weighs on him only pushing him further to self sacrifice.

Brother(Murder by Death)- His song to his family "Your stories are all the asme but the ends have all changed" by changing their fate hes changed THEM (less trauma does that Timmy) but there are still some things distinctly them.

Passing Through(Kaden MacKay)- Tim is fighting against time itself and a predetermined fate that he's desperate to do what he can and finally see the day he turns 18. Or well- if that isnt his destiny, to change what he can in the meantime.

[dani-ya-dig]

OKAY!!! IM LISTENING TO THE NEW PROJECT MERIDIAN AUDIOS SO THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT!!

So if you like rambling click read more :D

Something’s Wrong:

“…one with– empathy” UGH THAT DROVE ME INSANE!!! I don’t even think it was intended to be such a powerful line, but I love that the asset having the ability to empathize was emphasized, especially since E’ Laetum is half of the Meridian and he (if I’m not mistaken) created Empathy demons. He is of empathy so anything that enters the meridian should be as well and that’s IFBDKDDNKDFB! Again, don’t think it was like super intentional, and I’m just reading into too much but I love that.

“Can’t get good help these days”. Old ass man. Geriatric motherfucker. Hey peepaw, do your hips hurt, I need to know if I should bring my umbrella with me when I leave the house.

OKAY THIS ISNT SILLY HAHA ANYMORE WHAT THE FUCM WAS THAT??? “Wake them up”????? “I didn’t mean to hurt anybody” ???

Also James sounded so aggressive when he asked the asset what was wrong? Hello?? Quit that.

Oh– okay– they have– they have imprisoned demons working on this. Alright. That’s– certainly something. (I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all)

Wait no how did Asset know about the Solitaries?? Hell I haven’t even heard of them since that one Vega audio from forever ago that I barely remember.

“Be diligent. Be skeptical. Be strong.” Be swift as the coursing river? Will all the force of the great typhoon? Will all the strength of a raging fire perhaps??

“Cold. An overextension. A presence unwanted. Unfeeling thing… you are not needed. You are not enough” LEAVE MY BEST FRIEND ALONE ASSHOLE! I mean, technically correct but also I LOVE THEM!

But also this is very much coming back to my point of what I was saying earlier with Empathy being a major point in making Asset!

While Asset can “feel empathy”, it’s not real empathy. It’s manufactured. An imitation of it. Not the real thing. And E’Laetum knows that. In fact when Asset was in the meridian it was mainly E’Laetum’s voice speaking, when in the past we also heard Min’ara’s voice intertwining with his own. E’Laetum immediately clicked Asset as being unfeeling, and rejected them.

Okay, so the meridian just… repelled them. Spit them back out. That could have been way worse all things considered. Frankly it’s shocking that Asset survived at all to me. I mean, I assumed that since they were made of physical matter, human or not that the Meridian would treat them as they do humans. Just completely destroy them, unravel them. So why did they?

THE PHONE RING AT THE END??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

I see some people in the comments talking about a time loop. God I hope that’s not the case because I will scream. Putting my bets in (as someone who sucks at theorizing) maybe none of that actually happened and was just a premonition of what was to come for Asset if they continue with what they are doing.

I mean Asset apparently already has knowledge of stuff they aren’t supposed to (solitaires being an example of this). Maybe they are having like visions from somewhere else? Although that leave the logistical question of how could you send someone a mental image if they don’t have a brain?

Someone’s Right:

HELLO?? THE RECORD PLAYER??

Erik Redacted I can never tell what you add in for cool effect and what seriously means something and it is driving me crazy.

As a horror fan I am eating well with the creepy ass distorted music though :D

ANTON!!! I MISSED YOU!

God referring to Anton as a “soft-spoken technician” was so correct. Flashbacks to how I don’t remember anything from his first audio because I couldn’t hear what he was saying. (I have audio processing issues shhhhh)

WAIT SO THE MERIDIAN JUST SPIT OUT ASSET WITHOUT HURTING THEM AT ALL??? WHAT THE FUCK?? Anton says “physical fine” implying that their hardware wasn’t damaged, or very minimally damaged at least? That’s so weird, again considering the Meridian literally physically unravels humans and destroys them when they try to go through them.

Okay so basically, Assets metaphorical brain was overloaded with information, and they are trying to evolve with that information within the proper time or means to do so. Got it.

James needs everyone out by yesterday he is so sick of this shit and just wants to see his spouse.

ohhhh so they did try to destroy Asset but couldn’t. That makes much more sense.

WAIT WHAT IS ASSET MADE OF THAT LITERAL GODS COULDNT DESTROY THEM??? That is one sturdy ass robot. God.

Backups?? Ehhh I don’t like the way James is talking about these living people with feelings and autonomyyyy

Oh so we weren’t actually worried about any damage that Asset sustained during being spit out and we’re just gonna send them back out as long as they were in one piece enough to go back in. Great! That’s not horrifying at all!

Feeding the demons with all the energy they could possibly need. Except for the serenity demons, who are probably in so much pain, lmao.

Innate want to help?? You mean that the Asset wants to do the thing they were specifically designed and then programmed to do? Yeah James, what choice do they have?

Poor Asset. That’s always what I’ve kind of thought about, since it was revealed what Asset was for. Was what happens after they get the data? Will they just be destroyed? They don’t know any life outside of their creation and purpose. At least not first hand. Not really.

HELLO??? WHAT??? JAMES??

Okay. What the metric fuck is going on??? I need someone smarter to lay this out for me because what the hell. I love project Meridian but I fear I’m far too stupid to get this.

So like… that seemed like James was reaching out to them in a dream, but he is a telepath not a dream walker (though he probably went to college he probably knows dreamwalking). But even so there is still a weird– time travel element in there and??? Huh??? I have so many questions and I need the next update NOW.

[funsize-cenobites]

I like thinking of this thing I saw someone say, about how Heavy must not see Medic as a 'Bad or Evil Man' because he asks Scout if there will be evil men for them to destroy. And I, as a Heavymedic enjoyer, do believe this to a point. Because I also like to think of all the mercs as fully realized people and try to see things from their point of view, varying degrees of morality, and sensibilities.

I don't think Heavy is blind to the weird and fucked up things Medic does in the name of science or progress (Whatever that means to him) but I do think the way Heavy's moral code operates allows for leeway. I think Heavy considers Medic to be straddling the line a lot of the time. He didn't grow up easy or fair, he had to do what he had to do a lot of the time. He sees killing as both enjoyable as an act and also necessary at many points in time, job or no job. Heavy has the kind of morality that already allows for 'Mass murder is just okay sometimes.... a lot of the time.' so hes not a perfect cinnamon roll himself. Is he better than Medic? Oh absolutely. By leaps and fucking bounds. But still.

The way I envision them is two men who are kinda in awe of one another in the actual sense of the word. Both are kinda afraid of each other in relation to their specific specialties. They have- for the types of people they are- an astonishingly healthy amount of respect for each other. I don't think Heavy questions much of what Medic does, not because he doesn't see it, not because he isnt aware the doc has a toolbox full of loose screws but instead because hes also just not as uwu a good person as people think he is. Hes honorable sure. But by who's standards?

Medic is, insane or not, a genius. He has defied god in a lot of ways. And I do believe even he has his limits and things he might joke about but wouldnt cross the line of but that's a different conversation. Ive kinda lost the plot of my rambling, bottom line is:

I like thinking of them a lot and I love them. I think Heavy might occasionally act as a system of checks and balances rarely when theres somethingMedic brushes up against thats too off color for the moment but I just... don't think Heavy minds all that much. He's a mercenary and a survivor and a protector. He built his own moral code from the ground up and I dont think he sees Medic as evil because I think Heavy puts too much emphasis on familiarity rather than actual morality.

[fyodior]

OH MY GOODNESS FLORE WE ARE ON THE SAME FREAKUENCY. i was JUST rambling to one of my friends about how mama is imo so much better than mommy/dada than daddy because instead of it holding a sexual undertone — its RAW and honestly just what dazai needs because. i swear. he, above all of the other characters i adore, would be the most likely to cry in bed.

now… heres my rewritten version of that little snippet i sent you while on the toilet

dazai isnt exactly… a hard dom. maybe he was back in the mafia, but now, with you? he doesnt need to always be in control. he’ll still take the lead if need be, but he’d be lying if he said he wasnt crying every now and then when he breeding you in — while still a teasing menace, the whimpers and moans you two share make it more than obvious that hes your teasing menace.

so when youre exhausted and sobbing into the pillow with dazai happily panting into the crook of your neck, youre babbling ‘i love you’s and more incoherent thoughts than you can even keep up with.

so its not surprising when dazai suddenly stops thrusting — big brown eyes as wide as saucers when the brunette mutters a strained — “what did you just call me, belladonna…?”

you blink once. twice. what DID you say? sniffling, you can offer a few more incomprehensible babbles that barely make it past the drooling stage.

‘did i call him daddy…? is that why he slowed down?’ it wouldnt be TOO surprising — there were plenty of houses out there with girlfriends accidentally calling their boyfriends daddy.

all those thoughts are suddenly knocked out of you, alongside your once-calming breaths — as his hips meet yours once again — “say it again.” he all but rasped. pupils blown. long fingers balling the pillows. bitten lips marking your neck — where another string of sobs wretches out of your throat.

“call me it again, dirty girl. say it. say you want mamas cock till everyone knows youre mamas good little girl. oh? crying again? youre so cute, crying for mama…”

and he doesnt let it go after that. at work? hes calling you over to grab him a coffee as per usual, and if you refuse? “oh? and here i thought you were mamas good little girl…”

in public? hes slipping his fingers between yours inside crowded areas, leaning down to coo both teasingly and protectively — “stay close to mama, ok baby?”

and its the worst when youre alone. everythings normal; cuddles that turn into chaste kisses that spin into needy humping and licking at each other’s mouths — when in the midst of all your grinding and whining — “fuck, dirty girl. you want mamas cock again? yeah? aww, dont give me that look. i like you more when youre being mamas good little girl.”

‘daddy’ is a bit too dominant for dazai. would he spank the brat out of you if you deserved it? yeah. and hes done it. and occasionally vice versa. but sometimes(a lot of the time), hes just too tired needy to show you whos boss.

so when he calls himself ‘mama,’ theres no need to control or intimidate like ‘daddy’ would demand — no. you dont whimper or shudder in anticipation(which is still attractive but thats not the point), you croon and melt into a puddle of mush. all for him and because of him.

because thats what mamas girls do.

- M anon

NO YOU ABSOLUTELY GET IT SOOOOO MUCH OH MY GODDDDD ITS SO PERFECT!!! just like you said, daddy is too hard dom for dazai - that's just not who he is at all, and he doesn't want to be that. but that's not to say he doesn't want to have a little bit of that control over you, and mama fits that role so perfectly. mama is tender, sweet, but mama is still above you - has authority.

and it's perfect because mama's can absolutely be dominant too!! they can spank you, they can scold you for being a brat, but they can cuddle and reassure you in a way that daddy doesn't.

also "stay close to mama, ok baby?" has me fuckin reeling like................... oh my god oh my GOD

[storgicdealer]

OKOKOK so im re classpecting the sticks bc i understand much more abt classpects now than i did when i first classpected them. i hope you dont mind if i drop em here bc youre very smart and you know both avam and hs so

tsc - lord of space (this stays, its way too narratively relevant for it not to)

green - prince of breath (very passionate, perfectionist, tries to be carefree even when he cares way too much about what other people think)

yellow - mage of light (moreso on the knowledge front than the luck front, similar to rose but more active in his role, likes to figure things out but using what shes previously learned)

blue - witch of life (FEFERI WOOO obv shes very witchy, leaf feels like theyd be more rebellious, life player bc its very energetic and tends to take on a healer role in the group)

red - knight of heart (tends to jump straight to protecting her friends, very impulsive and passionate/soulful, acts confident but is sometimes more hesitant than others realise)

victim - thief of hope (man i was so on point with this one)

chosen - mage of doom (has a lot of firsthand experience with doom and suffering, also suffers from their aspect, and very good at causing doom *cough* chosen has never won a fight on the right side *cough*)

dark - heir of time (very destructive by default, causes a lot of death, RED 🔥🔥🔥, but also logical, at times a bit too laid back and chill)

striker - maid of mind (maid im not sure on i just wasnt sure what else to do, mind bc shes very straightforward, thoughtful, plans ahead, very serious and logical)

purple - prince of blood (accidentally or on purpose fucks up almost all his relationships at some point, at the same time is also the reason most of his friends met in the first place, Prince = royalty theming, also matches with green)

mango - rogue of life (acts very skeptical and un-lifey but takes life from others to give to the people they care about)

gold - sylph of hope (loves to cheer people up, very hopeful and energetic demeanor, fairly childish, wants to make everyone happy all the time!!!)

hangman - bard of rage (calms people down, fairly chill compared to the other players, prefers to support and wishes people were more peaceful and mature)

ballista - knight of breath (session lacks breath for reasons i dont feel like describing rn, acts chill but actually feels like he cant live up to the title of Hero and isnt that carefree, protects the few people he attaches himself too <- that one scene in his original short where he draws upon the memories of his friends to open the door)

hazard - seer of void (ngl this is mostly just process of elimination but hazard feels pretty void oriented tbf. hes so chill hes not minding anyones business)

paleo - witch of heart (same as above </3 very passionate headstrong etc etc)

sorry for the word vomit in your inbox i want to talk to you more and idk how to initiate conversation other than random infodumps

OH I ABSOLUTELY DONT MIND PLEASE DO SEND ME STUFF LIKE THIS

oh this is so good. this is so good

my knowledge on classpects is probably slightly closer to surface level than yours lmao but from what i get GOD yes !!!!!! yellow being a mage of light / red being a knight of heart is literally them hello. absolutely. its in their code

PRINCE OF BLOOD PURPLE !!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO !!!!! thief of hope victim OH this is so good. im eating this up (id say my victim leans towards being a rogue a little bit. my whole rambling on how much i associate the motif of them being a "divine being sharing the gift of the animators with the outernet" typa thing) mage of doom chosen DONT even joke with me lad. im shaking him shaking him so hard

MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! (even if not a maid shes still very much a mind player methinks)

oh knight of breath ballista oohhh ... this is so smart oh my god (and very obviously. already fits with one of his forms in "wanted" of literally looking like a knight lol)

wait i just realized green & purple knight and princ. cinder im gonna. im. oh this is SO good

[bizlybebo]

welcome to mutualhood with me I love you now do you ever think about gillion tidestrider

o em gee hello

i think about gillion tidestrider an unhealthy amount. i just experienced the “my final sin; i hate you” monologue for the first time last night and let me tell you i have some WORDS

(i’m using this ask as an excuse to ramble about gill because i’m usually a jay main but i adore all of albatrio so much and gillion is just AUUGH)

obligatory no spoilers pls as i’m on episode 80,, so also like. spoiler warnings!!

the more we learn about the past the more it just fucking stings, and you can so clearly see the way it’s shaped his friendships on the overseas. he was forced into the box of something incredibly demanding, ie the chosen one, at such a young age. it practically seems to be to the point where he wasn’t even allowed to think for himself.

i honestly think a lot of his journey with the albatrio has been healing in the sense that he feels like he’s able to be the thing for chip and jay that he never had growing up.

despite his hardships with chip, he always encouraged him to be a better person, he made him a better person, but every time along the way he assured him that he was always good to begin with. he let him know he was enough at every step of the way, and he regarded him highly even from the very beginning, like how he put so much significance into that battle in episode 15.

no one ever told gillion he was enough. that he was good. they only ever told him to be more.

in the block, he allowed jay to shoot him, and he went down to (what he thought was) certain death with a smile on his face. he begged her to just tell him what it was he had to fight for, because he would fucking fight for it because she was jay. he supported her freedom to choose her path in life. and after it was revealed that she betrayed them he still trusted her. he let her move on after she fucked up.

nobody supported his freedom. nobody let him choose. nobody let him move on from his mistakes.

nobody fought for him.

AND THE IMPACT HE’S HAD ON THEM IN RETURN?? IS CRAZY. OHHH MY GOD DONT GET ME STARTED.

IM CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING THE GILLIGONE ARC AND GAHHH

CHIP HOLDING ONTO HIS SWORD AS A KEEPSAKE WHILE HE’S GONE??? SAYING THAT HE ISNT SCARED BECAUSE “GILLION WOULDNT BE” OH MY GOD.

JAY BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF COMBAT WHEN THE DOCTOR BRINGS UP GILLION AND HIS ABSENCE. AND SHE SAYS “IF HE WAS HERE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DEAD.” HELLO THATS SO FUCKING METAL.

[mcschnuggles]

I love the golden verse so much i just want to thank you for writing it. Even though obviously you wrote it bc u wanted to, i get so much enjoyment from it to see agere content of my fav game and just.. love love love. Esp the newest one with yusuke is so so sweet, i love how caring akira is to everyone its so him lol. And even though I get the sense that goro isnt your favorite character in p5… As a super huge fan of him (he is just so special to me) im really grateful that you seem to understand his character and write him in a way that isnt just massacring him lol. Like i just love how you write him in golden verse and dont completely woobify him while still honoring that softer side of him just just…. I just love it so much and if u are taking rq for regressuary id love to see more of him and akira post canon golden verse lol. Their relationship dynamic is so special to me, and its written so well in the bronze medal. (If not taking rq dw about that or anything, just rambling to you abt how much i love and appreciate the series lol)

GOD the amount of love goldenverse gets is so crazy to me. Like, it's one of the few things that hasn't been soured for me in the slightest, some of the few old fics I can go back and reread because ALSKDFJASKL it reminds me of all the nice things people have pointed out and i can go "OH YEAH WAIT THAT IS GOOD!!!"

So like, legitimately thank you for taking the time out of your day to share this with me. It means more than you can possibly know <333 Honestly yeah you hit the nail on the head though LOL Akechi is my least favorite character in P5. Nothing that he has going on really appeals all that much to me, so it makes me happy to hear that people like my characterization of him. Sometimes the fan interpretations get to me so I have to begrudgingly do him justice ALDFKJA

I actually have all my regressuary fics planned out, and most of them done!! BUT if you'd ever like to talk more about goldenverse, including about Akechi, I'd really love that!! It's one of those AUs that I still like to think about a lot :> Anywho, thank you again for such a sweet message. I hope you have a really nice week!!

[sun-undone]

I just watched the season 4 teaser and I neeed your thoughts

AHHH HELLO FRIEND it's been a fucking minute hasn't it???? obx is back after what feels like a billion years and for the first time in about that long i'm feeling the buzz for it again!!!

SO the teaser let's ramble about it for way too long

before getting into any of the specific content, i just wanna say that this teaser felt SO different from the s3 teaser. and that might sound like a bad thing at first cause imo the s3 teaser is the best piece of promo the obx team has ever put out, BUTTTT i think this teaser needed to have a different feel.

the writers and some of the actors (i think chase mainly) have repeatedly stated that this season goes back to basics a bit and refocuses on the characters and the bonds between them, and it truly feels like this teaser was doing exactly that. it wasn't really showing us many hints about the plot or massive action set pieces, it seemed much more interested in showing us our pogues. THAT is where the hype comes from with this teaser.

it might seem a bit lackluster and small compared to other teasers we've gotten, but i'm very happy with how they're already choosing to promo this season so far BECAUSE it feels more intimate reminiscent of s1 in that way.

i could absolutely eat my words about their intentions with this as promo continues, and i do think they'll still end up doing their usual bigger, action heavy plot heavy trailer, but as a first real teaser??? it's really making me trust their statements about refocusing the show.

MOVING ON

i mean. I MEAN

if this ISNT how the season starts i am going to be absolutely floored. i'm hoping so badly that it's an even more direct parallel to the opening scene of 1x01, with pope, kie, and jj down below ragging on john b to come help them build the dock or whatever. bonus points if john b drops the gold he's holding and almost breaks jj's foot or something. like i want as dead on of a parallel as humanly possible pates if you're gonna go for it, fucking GO FOR IT

i'm very curious as to how much of the time jump is gonna be exposited via montage and john b narration. i assume a lot of the building of the bunkhouse and dock and fixing up jj's house (which is kind of a shame cause how emotional must that have been for him????? but it's fine it's just RIPE for fanfic that way). but according to bts there's at least one scene that was filmed from the in between that might be an actual scene rather than montage (i won't say in case people don't want spoilers but it involves jiara). or maybe that's part of the montage too, we truly have no clue at this point. i'm just so stoked to see these new sets!!!! i'll forever miss the chateau like my heart actually splinters every time i think about it but the pogues having a new home base on jj's land is something really special too.

core 4 scuba mission as yet another parallel to s1 like are we in heaven??? and jiara are the ones that actually dive???????? jj reassuring her beforehand????????????? john b and pope teasing them???? potential jiara cheek kiss?????? it doesn't get better than this

oh actually no it does

LOOK AT HER SMILE AND YOU CAN TELL JJ IS CHEESING JUST AS HARD TOO LIKE HELLO

also jarah b watching from the dock house like proud parents I KNOW THATS RIGHT

we have a fair amount of bts about this so i'm not gonna say too much but john b looks PISSED. and i'm right there with him but hey at least we'll get hot jj bike stuff?? rivalry with rafe (and maybe topper too cause we just can't have nice things) and worried kie having to watch from the sidelines??? it might not all be bad!!!! i'm already pretty sure i'm gonna hate this plot point so i'm trying to get the anger out now so i'll be all out of it by october

IS THIS A POGUE SURFING SCENE MAYHAPS

i swear to god if this ends up being a random extra i will lose my shit

there is no screenshot of this that doesn't look absolutely horrid but that doesn't matter WHAT MATTERS IS THAT JJ FINALLY GETS TO PUNCH RAFE. they fucking heard our prayers i cannot believe it. i REALLY hope this is juicy as hell and leads into a full on fight that the pogues have to try to break up (i would've liked it even better if they had a truly one on one fight with no one else around so we could see how evenly matched they undoubtedly are but whatever whatever this could be super dramatic and fun in different ways too).

also double points if he's defending sarah and/or kie in some way. double double points if this tension has been building for the entire season up until this point cause i've been saying for YEARS that jj and rafe could have such an interesting dynamic but they barely have ANY scenes together. i am desperate and begging and this gives me so much hope oh my GOD also if you saw me edit this into this post cause i forgot to include it the first time no you didn't

aaaaand with that, that's pretty much all i feel like i wanted to talk about, there's a few other interesting things to speculate about but like i said before, this teaser really gives nothing away. or at least it doesn't if you've been following bts

ALSO the song is water on mars by the nude party and it's absolutely perfect which is no surprise whatsoever

[secret-side-hetalia-blog]

Yall idk if i can like even physically express how much i love the stupid characters in hetalia,

(Long ramble abt characters i love)

Like. Italy is so. Stupid(/pos) and its so fuckinb endearing, and like. I dont like the dub bc of, like reasons, but hes probably the best part of it when i do watch it. Im on the beautiful world and his stupid dancing in the credits is. I love this man. Hes so fucking stupid. Gah!!!!! And just the way he. Like when hes walking with germany and japan and he has is arms out walking like an animal crossing character, or like sways back and forth when he talks to hungary. Hes so fucking cute.

And like. America is also really dumb, but hes trying his best and its so cute, like. Hero club, that time he put a burger on englands head to make him feel better because he had a cold. The like mochi version of him talking is. Adorable honestly. Hes also probably one of the better parts of the dub, more specifically episode 2, when russia attacks him n hes like "dude the cold wars over!!!!" Achb!!!!!!!!!! I love him. And he and russia cannonically (in the dub) having a safe word is fun too. I love him. Adghhggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And denmark!!!!! Like. Yeah i just met him more or less but hes also stupid and i love him. I cant say much ive only seen him like. Technically twice. I think. I watched the dub cause i was busy and i think it was den and swed attacking russia that one time. I like russia a lot tho so that does take away points from him but hes stupid so its okay.

Fucking, prussia!!!! hes so stupid, but like not really. Hes stupid but hes also like. Just a guy, like he cares abt his brother, that one scene in World Series with him nd hungary, like hes a guy that exists. But then also we see music club and he is destroying it on that broom its so stupid and i love him oh my god. I am not normal, hi.

Russia isnt stupid but i love him lots too. Hes, more oblivious than anything i think. When i was younger, i like. Copied him so hard, he was my favourite character. My dad made me like a pvc magic metal pipe of pain for my shitty cosplay i had of him. I really like russia. :3

Also while im thinking abt this episode, the dub is funnier specifically with canadas club. just coming from a Canadian.

[lyss-butterscotch]

btw im obsessed over furina too shes literally just me and if you by aaany chance wanna ramble about her feel free to, tis an invitation. if not thats fine too! boop

Omg kiki hi!!! You have no idea that i just like buried my face to a pillow cuz oh gee golly gosh oh sovereigns above this girl. THIS GIRL.

[Obvious spoilers for fontaine archon quests and furinas story quest]

Literally abnormal about her she deserves all in the world. We have hands to give furina pats on the head we can speak so we can tell furina she did it i am so jdhdjsyshjsjsjsn waaaaaaaaa

I love how they paced her characterization throughout each patch, idk i just feel like its well paced. The first patch shows that shes all bark and no bite. All the flare all the drama with neuvillette being the one truly working the system (you can see it in the patch art too!). I just couldnt understand how she is oh so shamelessly show offy when she literally has nothing to show for but her title like damn i felt bad for neuvillette for dealing with her. But the way she falters and hesitates, just makes you think theres something else going on. But i still felt like she HAS a bite, she just for some reason doesnt use it so i was just expecting her to break and show power later on.

Then act two. Man i never wanted to punch a character so bad like arlecchino LEAVE HER ALONE MAN SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS SLANDER. Its when i start to think shes not the god after all. She keeps saying she has plans but its 'secret', as much as i wanna defend her arlecchino was right. She has nothing to show for, she has no plan, no act to help fontaine so what is there to defend? But she CLEARLY cares for the prophecy so WHY ISNT SHE DOING ANYTHING. Arlecchino saying that furina might not be a god after all just makes me even more insane about the plot. Like okay theres no way the gnosis isnt in the oratrice and neuvillette is the sovereign so what the hell is going on with furina???

Then the final patch. Omg oh god oh golly oh my lords above. I hate how even as she got duped into a trial she is still trying to keep up her bark. The way she says 'THE TRIAL OF THE HYDRO ARCHON SHALL NOW BEGIN' with so much fervour like she is STILL trying. It made me think shes gonna reveal some super important bg plot shes been working on to make us go 'wow she really is a great archon'. BUT THEN. BUT THEN SHE GETS OUTED FOR NOT KNOWING WHY THE ORATRICE LET OUT A WRONH VERDICT, NOT WANTING TO SHOW OFF HER HYDRO POWERS, AND BEING AFFECTED BY PRIMORDIAL SEA WATER???

Like at that point i think furina youre done. Its over. But the way she cried and begged for people to believe her still WAAAAAAAA. LIKE GIRL WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING STOP THIS HURTS TO WATCH. Then she goes full catatonic once the trial is over urgh bby no :(

AND THEN THE WHOLE FOCALORS LORE DROPPED AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE, ALL HER DRAMA AND BARK MAKES SENSE. AND THE WAY IT REVEALS THAT NOT ONLY DID FURINA ***NOT*** KNOW FOCALORS' PLAN, IT ALSO MEANS SHE THOUGHT THAT HER FAILING THE TRIAL MEANS ***SHE*** WAS GONNA BE THE REASON FONTAINE WAS GONNA DROWN. AAAAAAAGAFAFDAADFAGAAGSHS

I hate how focalors specified that furina had to act like 'how people think gods act' and not just 'act like a god'. I hate it. I hate how she was trying to be nice but in fear that itll blow her cover she had to shine brighter to blind the people, when there was nothing to show underneath it. Dies dies dies!!!!!!!!!

As much as i hate that they didnt really show furina moving out of the palais mermonia. I think its fitting. How shes so tired of all the flair she has to put up she really just... wanted to leave. Be done with it. No flare just slips away silently.

Im glad that she and neuvillette is still in good terms, i think atleast after 500 years of putting an act together + neuvi finding out the shit she had to go through, he'd atleast have some form of camaraderie or respect for her. The fact that he is supportive of her being involved in a performance after she moved out is so waaaaaa she deserves it!!!! I think its clear that despite her needing a break, performing what she wants is something she likes to do and im glad she has something thats entirely her own going on for her :)

Also also la vaguelette is the song ever. I hope hyv is happy that they made a song that can make me cry 1 second in. Literally best song after yunjins opera song. They did not hold back and my heart weeps everyday.

Also the fact that now she just eats macaroni everyday is a mood. Boop