#im also random when it comes to convos lol i have a problem of coming up to people and asking hey youre cool lets chat
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storgicdealer · 2 months ago
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OKOKOK so im re classpecting the sticks bc i understand much more abt classpects now than i did when i first classpected them. i hope you dont mind if i drop em here bc youre very smart and you know both avam and hs so
tsc - lord of space (this stays, its way too narratively relevant for it not to)
green - prince of breath (very passionate, perfectionist, tries to be carefree even when he cares way too much about what other people think)
yellow - mage of light (moreso on the knowledge front than the luck front, similar to rose but more active in his role, likes to figure things out but using what shes previously learned)
blue - witch of life (FEFERI WOOO obv shes very witchy, leaf feels like theyd be more rebellious, life player bc its very energetic and tends to take on a healer role in the group)
red - knight of heart (tends to jump straight to protecting her friends, very impulsive and passionate/soulful, acts confident but is sometimes more hesitant than others realise)
victim - thief of hope (man i was so on point with this one)
chosen - mage of doom (has a lot of firsthand experience with doom and suffering, also suffers from their aspect, and very good at causing doom *cough* chosen has never won a fight on the right side *cough*)
dark - heir of time (very destructive by default, causes a lot of death, RED 🔥🔥🔥, but also logical, at times a bit too laid back and chill)
striker - maid of mind (maid im not sure on i just wasnt sure what else to do, mind bc shes very straightforward, thoughtful, plans ahead, very serious and logical)
purple - prince of blood (accidentally or on purpose fucks up almost all his relationships at some point, at the same time is also the reason most of his friends met in the first place, Prince = royalty theming, also matches with green)
mango - rogue of life (acts very skeptical and un-lifey but takes life from others to give to the people they care about)
gold - sylph of hope (loves to cheer people up, very hopeful and energetic demeanor, fairly childish, wants to make everyone happy all the time!!!)
hangman - bard of rage (calms people down, fairly chill compared to the other players, prefers to support and wishes people were more peaceful and mature)
ballista - knight of breath (session lacks breath for reasons i dont feel like describing rn, acts chill but actually feels like he cant live up to the title of Hero and isnt that carefree, protects the few people he attaches himself too <- that one scene in his original short where he draws upon the memories of his friends to open the door)
hazard - seer of void (ngl this is mostly just process of elimination but hazard feels pretty void oriented tbf. hes so chill hes not minding anyones business)
paleo - witch of heart (same as above </3 very passionate headstrong etc etc)
sorry for the word vomit in your inbox i want to talk to you more and idk how to initiate conversation other than random infodumps
OH I ABSOLUTELY DONT MIND PLEASE DO SEND ME STUFF LIKE THIS
oh this is so good. this is so good
my knowledge on classpects is probably slightly closer to surface level than yours lmao but from what i get GOD yes !!!!!! yellow being a mage of light / red being a knight of heart is literally them hello. absolutely. its in their code
PRINCE OF BLOOD PURPLE !!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO !!!!! thief of hope victim OH this is so good. im eating this up (id say my victim leans towards being a rogue a little bit. my whole rambling on how much i associate the motif of them being a "divine being sharing the gift of the animators with the outernet" typa thing) mage of doom chosen DONT even joke with me lad. im shaking him shaking him so hard
MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! (even if not a maid shes still very much a mind player methinks)
oh knight of breath ballista oohhh ... this is so smart oh my god (and very obviously. already fits with one of his forms in "wanted" of literally looking like a knight lol)
wait i just realized green & purple knight and princ. cinder im gonna. im. oh this is SO good
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renidrag · 3 years ago
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you're so right, the one thing everyone in generation needs to do is communicate with each other 😭 but what has me on edge is what's going to happen with luz now she's, like, mad with greta bc she doesn't like her. she has the "not yet" that can potentially hurt greta and im actually wondering if she's gonna tell her or if riley will first (which i kind of doubt? since riley seems to be pushing her away from the looks of it in the sneak peek?). Idk!! what are your opinions? i like reading your posts. Thank you alsjhs
thank you for reading! I just think the character dynamics and the acting and the writing are so so good and something I've never really seen done before (also I'm so sorry this got a little bit off track by the time I'd finished writing lmaoooo)
oh I absolutely believe luz is gonna weaponise that info like there is no way they specifically wrote that asshole mini-monologue for her and had her tell riley 'not yet' to not use it when they want to cause even more problems. I think riley's gonna self destruct next episode (callback to Sam in ep 9 'you don't wanna blow yourself up in the process') out of some sort of misguided sense of self loathing - you can see in ep 13 when aquarium pablo turns up she looks so guilty and upset with herself more than anything
when stuff goes wrong for riley she always makes a joke out of it but then turns the rage inward to hurt herself - all the shit with her parents has obviously just taught her that she's the root of everyone's problems. she's so self sacrificing (when she says she's happy for greta and luz and has a photo that she LITERALLY CRIED OVER for their couple photo album??? riley pls be nice to yourself) and finds it so hard to ask for what she needs (she has to force out that she's having a shit time with her parents and needs chester to come inside with her and then we find out that her mum has totally invaded her space and done god knows what with all her belongings to have her weird play room which is funny yes but also like so deeply distressing to me)
god my heart aches for her like up until recently with the GSA kids probably no one has ever really told her that she's worthy of time and love, I don't even know how she's as functional as she is but I guess kids are resilient. I could argue that sometimes riley uses sex as a form of self harm or like a tranquilliser for all her feelings because at least when people are having sex with her she knows they actually want and desire her in some imitation of honesty. but I digress and also it's a show about teenagers so maybe it's not that serious and dark.......idk
I'm not really sure where the end of that episode is going to leave us but then episode 15 according to the plot synopsis is where greta and riley finally have their cards on the table convo about where they stand with each other. I would love the luz thing to come up so it doesn't blow up everything later, but if greta is asexual and says that to riley as one of the reasons she was/is confused about them then I think there's no way riley's going to say 'hey sorry but when you rejected me and accidentally called me a slut I went and found someone who would actually fuck me to make myself feel better and that happens to be luz lol'. it's going to be so much worse that she didn't just go off and have sex with some random guy but she had her first sexual experience with a girl that wasn't greta like they're somehow interchangeable (obviously not but that's how it would feel I think)
the last episode I'm thinking riley and greta will be maybe like circling each other with ~meaningful~ eye contact and stuff like they always do which would hopefully finally culminate in one good honest mitski kiss where they actually know how intensely they feel about each other. there's footage of marisela and chase rehearsing a scene for the finale that definitely looks confrontational and given that I'm like 75% sure that luz will either tell greta or threaten to tell greta just to be the asshole she's promised to be. I hope greta understands riley enough at that point to know it wasn't personal but it's gonna be bad and painful whenever it happens
tl;dr for this unhinged essay: I agree with you that I think riley won't do it herself, luz will either have to do it or coerce riley into doing it which will make everything a disaster and I hope that it won't ruin it forever but I am SCARED
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getofy · 4 years ago
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matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!
—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.
DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]
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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...
SUGAWARA KŌSHI!
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#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”
#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”
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☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—
PERSONALITY TYPE:
suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.
“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found
while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 
“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found
HOW YOU GUYS MET:
sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...
the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.
he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol
since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.
he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!
easy enough, right?
wrong.
apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.
poor suga.
he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?
or maybe you really were just having a bad day?
who knows.
anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.
it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!
*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?
HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:
the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.
AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?
(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)
anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.
sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything
eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.
after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).
he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.
he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face
and MAN!!
all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.
despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.
he missed your smile.
he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.
so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.
suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.
you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!
suga is very grateful for this
anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.
AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!
whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way
he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).
turns out suga was incredibly fond of you
yeah, that’s how he knew.
suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl
HOW HE CONFESSES:
you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late
and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY
after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.
he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker
very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(
literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.
“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“
yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.
literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.
ugh yall r so cute.
AFTER HE CONFESSES:
YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO
somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???
you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable
noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.
i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will
total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(
y’all r super comfy w each other !!
WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:
sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.
he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.
he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3
thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.
MISC HEADCANONS:
will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!
he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!
he’s so cute pls
one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.
whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!
is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.
you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.
it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.
he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!
this was actually your second date HAHA.
if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.
since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.
y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.
he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.
in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.
this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄
tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.
YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):
darling by christian leave
pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service
upside down by jack johnson
sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles
what do you like in me? by nasty cherry
MOODBOARD:
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pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4
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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆
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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago
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@uberoll-oystercrackers putting this PT convo on blast just for the sake of switching to this format where u don’t have to break everything up via replies because [comically deep inhale]
honestly like idc idc i guess ppl are just like “uhh mytho’s got nothing going on b/c he has no feelings!!” like Yeah Correct, that’s a premise / inciting factor for this series and everything everyone’s doing lol, it’s only Boring if you don’t think about the character at all lmfao which i guess some ppl don’t, but like, there’s only 4 of them.....it’s Wildly Interesting that he literally has no feelings at first, like, for one thing it’s cool how there’s always the Idea of characters who don’t have emotions or act on them, but this is like the rare “realistic” situation where having no feelings means he needs someone to steer him around and make choices for him (and how Vulnerable that leaves him lmfao like episode 2 is wild but also that ppl just haven’t really realized that they Could just pick mytho up and pitch him into a wall, and fakir and rue are sort of careful neutral alliance keeping tabs on him) and you know, the whole s1 structure of mytho regaining both Capacity For / Experience of An Emotion and his sense of identity and by extent of all this his agency, and how like, Thematic everything surrounding this character is that’s reflected in the overall series like. trying to control someone for your own benefit vs being willing to sacrifice your own interests (and then some...) for their freedom & the Protecting Someone (And/Or Wanting To) As A Love Language that all the characters show for each other at various points & hope vs despair.......and like No Shit he’s dispassionate & passive b/c he can’t Feel Feelings & resultantly can’t make decisions or feel motivations but obviously he’s still Motivating other characters to act on his behalf, & there’s so much mystery & drama already in “yeah this guy you think is just a neat handsome guy is also an actual prince from a story who’s Real & sacrificed his heart in the fight with an evil giant raven monster that eats people & so he can’t feel anything or remember who he is” like damn!!! epic of him even if right now he can’t do much of anything on his own. i’m interested, and then i’m Interested every time in the Drama & Mystery of this person regaining parts of himself and completely rediscovering An Emotional Experience and how that is totally recontextualizing his entire existence for him.....
plus also even though “person literally lost heart via magic and doesn’t know what Feeling Things is” isn’t a We’ve All Been There situation i was like oh and you know it’s not like what mytho’s got going on isn’t potentially Relatable....can get into a side essay about dapressione and trauma and other types of stuff that can make it seem like someone can’t/shouldn’t have full access to their feelings / self / agency &/or it’s Dangerous if they try.....whew
but continuing on YEAH ugh just completely fascinated with mytho the Entire Time actually lol like, i’ve tended to lose steam in early s2 b/c he’s sort of Less involved beyond the [hehe time to cause some trouble in this particular ep] role lol but even so it’s like well it’s kinda fun when at least somebody’s being a bitch who lives for drama lmfaooooo & we get mytho Struggling Internally & sometimes punching through that way but again it’s like yeah oops the guy was basically autonomous but zwoop here’s a problem where that doesn’t mean shit anymore lol b/c he’s got this alternate evil self steering the ship all the time now lol got em.....the Peak of that i guess is where we get to have an epic swordfight between raven!mytho and fakir like you know what fuck yes!!! the intrinsic drama of that lmfao!!!! and then it’s like “oh no :/ loving the drama? that’s just what drosselmeyer wants” except Not b/c actually what makes it totally rule is that it’s this chance for Real Mytho to come through for the sake of protecting fakir (tbt “i wonder what i think of you, fakir”...) and really like that being what prompts fakir’s “you know what, even though before i was afraid my role as a knight would kill Me and i’m afraid my coincidental(?) role as a guy who can Reality Write could kill Anyone Else, i gotta try b/c that’s the only thing i could possibly do here and i want to try protecting everyone else b/c everyone else including mytho is protecting Me” and like augh everyone is so Thoughtful about how to try to help mytho out even as like, they can’t hardly interact with him or undo the situation lol.....as you’re getting into the series finale and everyone’s just outright Voicing things and you get “i/we want to protect mytho” like 32x and it’s beautiful each time ;___; like and well sorry but him & his heart/lack of are also the heart of the whole story here.....
and you know what *i* want to protect mytho, sympathizing with all the characters like fuck yes you’re so right, this guy rules, episode 6 aka The Fear Episode is SO good, like, you’ve gotten kinda used to the episodic format here, ep 5 did sure also make it obvious that things are Building on what’s happening prior here & that there’s stakes and stuff but it’s such a shakeup, like, that maybe just kinda sneakily dipping in and out of the arena giving back a piece of his heart until it’s done with, no problem, Isn’t Gonna Happen, and again, the Drama of it all......that the heart shards are yeah kind of their own People who are these fractions of mytho’s self and the way you interact with them is gonna like, affect things, since tutu didn’t like “resolve” things with that heart shard and just kinda got him on a technicality there lmfao so it’s like, yeah not only does mytho have a more general / abstract cause to be afraid of tutu & her bringing all these Unknowns & completely new things to him / changing things up and apparently introducing conflict, but you’ve gone and gotten his capacity for fear all recently riled up and specifically afraid of his interaction with You from 5 sec ago, and how could anyone know this mysterious magical being giving you Negative Feelings is like, Safe......and i’m sure it’s all compounding here, like, it’s Wild to be suddenly experiencing A Feeling for the (seeming) first time, and that in itself sure could be Scary, he just hasn’t had the proper emotion available with with to Be Afraid, now he’s gotten back a freshly stoked (capacity for) Fear and how off the shits it must be to be afraid for the first time anyways, or to be feeling the other stuff for the first time, and who knows what Unfun Feelings could come next, there’s a lot to freak out about.......and not like it’s trying That hard to never suggest like oh fakir's not that bad even though he’s technically an antagonist at the start b/c of being at odds with / against the protagonist, it’s pretty telling there lol like he’s unhappy with mytho having feelings again at all and has already been getting mad about it but is just being Helpful here and trying to comfort him, like aw that’s neat i think it’s nice, and again throwing it back to “I Wonder What I Think Of You, Fakir” you get fakir reassuring mytho that nobody but him is around, and mytho having this capacity for Fear is choosing to confide in fakir re: what he’s dealing with here (not that this would on it’s own be some guarantee that mytho’s Right to be unafraid of fakir, but, knowing all we eventually know...) like again lol it’s funny that drosselmeyer’s loving the Drama of mytho only having regained Negative Feelings like, i mean i’m soaking it in as well but it’s like, that guy’s all about Angst and it’s like no im here all about the Hurt/Comfort more like, thank you lmfao
it’s also SO good how it’s like, the next episode is turning around & giving the story a way forward not by like, oh let’s just counteract this Fear mytho’s struggling with by returning the....emotion of Courage i guess, but rather by giving him back Curiosity to ultimately lead to him actually seeking a conversation with tutu.......and it’s like AUGH it’s soooo fun that he goes to that river and has a conversation with his own heart shard lmfao like that’s you!!! and that You does not realize you’re them!!! that’s wild and i love it......wait i took low res screenshots when i rewatched this a few weeks ago lmfao
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i Love it lmfao like it’s Such a good choice to have him not only have lost his Emotions but also memories / knowledge of who he, himself, even is.....like yeah man it was all on you to fight this heart eating raven monster!!!!!!!!! which you know, it’s also Fun that earlier in that episode when he and fakir are hanging out in the secret Problems Mill (which....fakir is hilarious like that lmfao. whole other tangent here like ppl are not only rolling with Animals As People but stuff like “yeah fakir might just be like ‘oops gotta go!’ and whisk mytho away to various out of the way Locations” like lmfao these teens have some free rein, but it’s nothing compared to s2 where it’s like “They Were Roommates but ig fakir tried to kill mytho who’s now being really dramatic and weird which is v different from before and maybe he’s in love with that one random dude who’s around now, which sucks for everyone else, oops now he’s just like Vanishing for god knows how long at a time it’s fine!!!!” lmfao like god. ballet school just is like that sometimes...) anyways Yeah that mytho’s been having nightmares about the raven and fakir is just going like IT’S FINE JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT IT lol and knowing fakir is also being pretty driven / restricted by fear, reasonably, as he thinks (well. and is correct) that he’s The Knight and his fate is literally written as “yeah if the story gets going and you’re a part of it you’ll just be killed” like yeah, oof......Wonder What I Think Of You Fakir like yeah AND he is that knight you actually did know who was suddenly killed trying to protect you and he’s sorta accepted that role again except he’s not really a fan of that Being Killed thing so here we’re having some issues in his misguided approach here re: Mytho Should Not Get His Heart Back, but he’s also trying to protect them Both from the story, and he’s only So Willing to act Against mytho, like, well hey thanks for apologizing after you hit him and then like, not doing that anymore lol, v reasonable how he’s struggling here lol where he’s trying to Protect mytho but the story a) wants to invite tragedy and b) has already said that The Knight has been / will be killed and can’t actually protect the prince within the story, also c) he’s just like one random high school guy out here......and also that it must just be kinda hard to adapt to this changing situation where mytho Is regaining this sense of self and motivation, but for like the past decade or whatever he Has needed fakir to just be in charge and tell him what to do all the time and, if he had the sense of what it was to trust someone, trust fakir to just always be acting in his best interest, but then mytho’s idea of his own best interest a) starts to Exist and b) is at odds w/fakir’s b/c also c) he doesn’t have All his feelings yet, Or all his memories, while fakir is like “noooo i know the story”.....like there was never any need to just like tell him he sucks at random times lol but it’s also kind of funny that’s just part of fakir’s shtick, calling mytho a dumbass one more time when he’s just fully himself as The Prince again lmfaooo. but prior to that, surely fakir could wonder what mytho thinks of him (or potentially Could think of him) too.......it’s just soooo good when mytho is like, expressing things verbally while trying to work through / figure out Feelings and even ones that he doesn’t have back yet, and it’s always fun how that inevitably throws off whatever character he’s musing about this to......including whenever ahiru’s just like “oh fuck yes he can do this b/c he has more feelings back now, that rules” and/or “aw :( he’s struggling w/this b/c he only has Some of his heart back”
and also that reminds me it’s SO good when the characters just kinda get to Do Something together lmfao like. ahiru and rue hanging out when looking for mytho that one time, iconic stuff, mytho and ahiru hanging out in the previous episode, iconic, maybe it kills me that in the first ep of s2 you have mytho saying ahiru’s his friend and the only person he feels like he can tell anything (and ahiru feeling bad she hasn’t Told Him Everything lol) and then he basically never gets to interact with her again knowing and as himself like Scream it’s fine ;v; !!!!!! let these people spend more than 3 seconds together Interacting lmfao it’s soooo good when they do :’0
and THEN you get into how there’s all this stuff re: The Story, like, fakir is the reincarnated knight, ahiru is the duck given tutu’s abilities Via a piece of mytho’s heart, but we had the original knight and tutu in the story as these actual ppl who we only hear a Little bit of lore about, but mytho actually knew / knows, and like, the original genesis for tutu only being on 1 Page of the story and apparently drosselmeyer doesn’t even really put any thought into what her motivations could be lol like yeah idk whatever she wants to marry the prince or whatever so that’s why she loves him and Says It and disappears......and like we have almost No direct info about her but uh nbd at least some of her actual essence is actually now an intrinsic part of mytho’s actual heart and specifically embedded in the heart shard of Hope, like damn!!!! you Know there was something more Real and Complex going on there and i love it so much.......and the original Knight, lohengrin.....might have been doomed to be unable to protect mytho with his sword, but there’s other ways to protect that guy and Someone needed to be doing it.......i’m just like wow mytho’s gf and bf!!!! and they both sort of died but hey. there’s still a lot to think about
so yeah lmfao love that you can originally see this series like, a decade ago and here it is like damn still lying down / yelling / generally riled up about mytho and just having So Much to think about / appreciate from this series like. it’s so Singular and has so much going on.......cherish it and i’m just still anytime like [epcot vine voice] Mytho...........
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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago
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immj2 09.04.21 lb
vansh's dumb ass rushing off to that random address he saw. like......... are you even checking on google maps ki kya area hai, is it conducive to having a secret person stashed there as a hostage? pata chala udhar tak pohunch gaye aur ek big bazaar hai.
ishani tripping riddhima as she runs into the house. such middle school bitchidity.
and now some interrogation of really wtf are you and vansh bhai upto all the time, coz no normal ppl can understand wtf your relationship dynamic is anymore.
blah blah some dhamki on dadi ko pata challllllllllll gaya toh??????
idc about this scene except for ishani looking hot af. i love her shirt dress and red lipstick. style icon.
anyway riddhima promises answers in 24 hours and fucks off.
lol vansh reached destination and from the looks of it, it's an empty lot. lmaooooooooooooo, fucking idiot. pehle hi bola tha maine, check kar udhar hai kya.
riddhima meanwhile steals the black box, which changes how it looks every single day.
calls vyom and is like i did my part of the deal, now your turn. they arrange the drop.
lmao vansh comes home to empty safe. follows her as she goes and dumps it in the recycling bins and tells vyom to pick it up.
hoodie waale kisine aake pick up kar diya. which i'm sure is not vyom, but angre/someone else instead.
ew vansh rootin around in the garbage bin for the box. sees it's gone and is all smirkily "INTERESTINGGGGGGG VERYYYYYYYY INTERESTINGGGG" about it. ok either box iske aadmi ne uthaaya hai ya woh asli waala black box nahi tha. warna yeh itna khush nahi hota.
ugh siya is video calling vyom and all WHYYYY CAN'T I COME SEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU?!?!!? i promiseeeee i won't disturb you while you work, i'll just keep looking at you and listening to you. what the ever loving fuck? behen, the relationship you're describing is the one ppl have with animals in zoos. yuck i actually cannot watch this shit man, i'm fwding.
anyway riddhima walks in hearing his voice from siya's room. ek toh yeh kaun bewakoof hai jo apne secret bf se BINA HEADPHONES ke baat karta hai? ffs, 6th graders doing aashiqui better than these fucks.
riddhima yelling at siya about getting involved with shunya circle zero man, while siya yelling back about how did YOUUUUUU see my earring with him, why are YOUUUU meeting him huh?!!?? and vyom is just there on the call like
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riddhima trying to warn siya ki he's not a good man............. sis kabhi apne relationships ko dekha hai???? you're running on full 100% in the dept. of having romantic relationships with psychopathic men who try to injure/kill you on a weekly basis.
asdkjsakjdhksajdhksajhdkj i honestly am vyom in this sitch, who's enjoying this convo to the maxxxxxxxx. zoom call par baithe kisi aur ke ghar ka kalesh dekhne ka mazzzaaaa hi kuch aur hai.
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angre losing his mind about riddhima stealing the box and vansh is all cool which meansssss........ nakli tha. for sure. shoulda known when we saw it looked diff itself.
lmaooooooooooooooo black box ko orange paint kar ke rakha hua hai iss chutiye ne. and he's bragging about how no one can open it without the key.
meanwhile peeth pe key waali didi andar jhaank ke spying kar rahi hai, as per usual.
kabir over here like main riddhima riddhima chillaaunga, banyaan phaad ke........... guard has had enough of his shit and tells him to stfu.
someone from outside hears this chillam-chilli and calls the police. wow, a responsible citizen, in this show?????????? unbohlievable.
cut to riddhima walking into bedroom (in whole new outfit; huh??? is it a whole other day suddenly?????) which is decorated like a mixture of a grade school on valentine's day + the set of a suhaag raat porno, lmao. husband is also in here, in his red velvet suit, giving her bhaaaaari sex eyes.
riddhima's thinking lagta hai issko pata nahi chala ke maine naak ke neeche se box udaa liya, warne yeh saare phool meri arthiiii pe chadhte.
this b has some nerve talking to siya about her "dangerous relationship" with that shirtless bhopuuuu player when her own husband/said chick's elder brother is a quasi-murderer they live with.
LMAO THEIR WHOLEASS BED IS GONE. ABHI SESK KAHAAN KAROGE? IS CHHOTE SE DINING TABLE PAR? ouff, they must still be in their 20s if they don't require proper lumbar support.
gives her a rose, ofc she pricks herself on a thorn, and nowwwww.... he's sucking on her finger. I'M SORRY THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC OR SEXY AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLL. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WASH HER HANDS AFTER COMING INTO THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!! FUCKERS GONNA START SOME INCURABLE PANDEMIC OF THEIR OWN LIKE THIS.
she's all ohohohoho dard bhi tum, dawa bhi tum huh? and he's like yeah babyyyyyyyyyy, coz tum poori ki poori meriiiiiii ho.
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ok the sexy is getting scary now. as is on par with this fucker. never a moment where heart rate can be at resting rate with him. and not in a good way.
she's telling him she wants to tell him something, give him some surprise....... and he's like.... ok? and they slow dance while making shakki faces at each other's back.
kabirrrrrrr stillllllllll screaming for riddhima. guard finally calls her and makes him speak to her. she's like bitch tf you want i was about to get laidddddd.........
kabir suddenly in i love you i love you mode. shady. kal tak toh yeh gaana nahi chal raha tha??? *acp pradyuman hand motion* kuch toh gadbad hai.
whoopsssssssssss, police is here. guard is like fuck someone musta called hearing this dude's ruckus.
kabir is like mwahahahahahaha, your game is over now. police will find meeeeee and freeeeee meeeee.
lmaoooooooooo she talks to the police and says ki woh jo chila raha hai, mera mentally unstable bhai hai, toh bas...... inspector is like SAY NO MORE MA'AM, WE DON'T WANNA CHECK ON THE MENTALLY ILL, THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM, NOT AN US PROBLEM AS A SOCIETY, SO GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CRAZY BRO, BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
anyway she's like listen up kabir, my deal is over, i'll tell vansh the truth and then you'll be free. so part of the deal with vyom is to keep kabir locked up???????? hein? what even.........
kabir freaking out about riddhima telling vansh the truth, and keeps on saying he'll murder her........ DUDE WHAT THIS SORDID TRUTH ANYWAY IM SO DONE JUST OUT WITH IT ALREADY
vansh comes outta the bathroom shirtless and............... lollipop ladki is here sexily breaking wine glasses in his bedroom. zero boundaries up in this house. NONE WHATSOEVER.
ok sorry i'm not paying attn to anything being said rn coz
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lollipop ladki is like why not we drink from one glass and he's like 🤨🤨🤨
wifey's here to spoil the party.
or to make it better????????? coz lol she's like make it three glasses of wine! won't you invite me to whatever's going on???? she looks waaaay more into lollipop ladki than vansh is, which would be the best possible development to riddhima's character.
vansh like hein aise kaise you stealing girl away from meeeeee, and telling lollipop girl ki why don't you and i just chug from the bottle?
cursory invitation to riddhima too.......... man, why is this giving heavy threesome vibes???
riddhima like "no thanks, mujhe do se zyaada hont ek bottle par achche nahi lagte." alksjdlaskjdlsakjdlsajkdlaksjdlka
vansh: achche toh mujhe bhi nahi lagte.
riddhima: par lagta hai tumhe toh kisi ke bhi chalenge.
OUCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
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lmaoooooooo now these two are just having their own petty pati-patni fight filled with vague statements about trust and misunderstandings, and lollipop girl is just here like
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precap: riddhima about to tell vansh the whole truth or whatever, when vyom calls and is like wtf you gave me a fake black box. riddhima and vansh are once again fighting about truth and dhoka and like.......... bro. idc anymore. someone take your shirt off to make this worth my while.
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bisluthq · 3 years ago
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this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.
Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.
Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.
Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.
And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.
Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.
Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.
Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.
Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.
But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.
Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).
But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.
So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.
Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.
Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.
Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).
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mochi-marie · 4 years ago
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I hope your day was great👌 could I have a male match up? Im straight with she/her pronouns. I’m 5’4” 1/2. I have mid length blond straight hair with tan skin and deep green eyes. My personality, well you see, I have a resting bitch face and can be classified as an ass/bitch when I’m near people I don’t like or just don’t really care about. I have bad anger issues✌️😔 but I’m pretty confident, at least I try to be, and I don’t take shit from people. Around my friends I’m pretty goofy and cocky (I can also be cocky in front of people I’m not usually social with lol) I’m pretty observant and tend to listen closely when people talk about themselves and I remember little things about people that might have come up in a convo once. I’m chaotic also lol if you tell me to do something like take a spoonful of mustard, mayo, hot sauce, I’ll do it just for the shits a giggles, and just to make people laugh lol. I will suffer for the entertainment 🖐😌 I’m definitely competitive I will turn ANYTHING into a game just to say I won. my interests consist of writing, tbh just straight up talking to people I love meeting people and hanging out with friends/family, playing in the snow- gotta love snowball fights, an arcade games. I’m pretty good grade wise I’m determined to reach my goals, and I’m not a procrastinator unless it consists labor😒 I like getting work done fast and my favorite class is history/eastern cultures. I love learning about stuff that happened in the past and things that are happening now like with problems or just interesting facts that I will never need to know but love bragging that I know it. But documentaries make me pass out. ROMANCE INFO PFFFF- um I don’t always like physical touch- like feet🤢🤢 get the hell away from me I don’t need to dirty ass feet touching me. Or people touching my feet- DISGUSTING. But this again I’m a hypocrite because I love when people play with my hair or lay on me because the pressure is soothing?? Idfk but I also love laying on someone where we are hugging because I feel secure. I’m usually a night owl unless I’m super tired then bye I’m passing out👋💀 if I wake up real early then I am a early bird but if I don’t girl no shits happening within time from when I wake up to 11:30am TRUST ME. I can’t live without friends and family, I wouldn’t be where I am without the people I care for. I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t have their love and support and their comedy. Or I wouldn’t be as childish if I didn’t have my little cousins to hang around. Favorite song is Instanbul- The Might Be Giants along with Locations- khalid. Ideal first date? Not dinner ew, I eat all the time. Not a movie because when do you get to know each other or talk?? It’s so awkward💀 prolly something fun like an amusement park or even just going to random places for the day. An ✨adventure✨ well I’m hoping you have a great day and I hope your nerves can handle more talking infrojt of people😌😌
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𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: tysm for the match-up request! hope you enjoy!
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𝗞𝗢𝗚𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗚𝗔𝗪𝗔 𝗞𝗔𝗡𝗝𝗜
♡ . . . REASONINGS : reading through your ask, i have determined that you would be best paired with, in my personal opinion, koganegawa kanji!
when it comes to your general personalities, i think the both of you would feed off of each other's determination. koganegawa seems like a loosely comptetitive, kind of chill / relaxed guy who takes his time to enjoy things as they come to him, but you are a near oppositive that compliments him well. your competitiveness gets him excited and honestly, numbs his mind with how much fun he is having. laughter is never ending between the both of you, and the scale always escalates higher and higher. you bring out his competitiveness, and you both tend to compete over small things that always leave you both giggling / chuckling.
koganegawa is a bit of a puppy, in a few ways or another, so whenever you get really interested in some sort of topic he is always trailing behind you eagerly, awaiting for you to talk to him about whatever you're passionate about and what you've learned so far. the nice thing about him is that he is always there when you want to talk, listening and chiming in excitedly if he has a little piece of information, or when he just wants to tell you how cool or amazing the information is!
as well, you ability to remember little things about him as a person really makes him happy, especially since i think he might be used to people simply brushing off his excitable nature as stupidity, or just see him as very annoying / frustrating to be around. so knowing that you actually listen to him, and knowing that you even bother to pay attention so closely to be able to remember small things about him, it really makes his heart swell with a type of happiness that he hasn't ever really felt before.
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𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗-𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦
♡ . . . truth or dare has became a huge past-time in your relationship when you both are very bored with nothing left to do but to dare each other to do weird, possibly disgusting things ( like what you mentioned about eating spoonfulls of condiments ). ♡ . . . when you mentioned arcade, i immediately gained the headcanon that koganegawa would walk into an arcade with you for a small date / day off, and then grow obsessed with old arcade games and machines. ♡ . . . he would most certainy put his feet on you if you were being dramatic, or if you were getting too competitilve, just to take the edge out of the air by hearing your disgusted whine and kicking his big feet off of your shin. ( im so sorry- ) ♡ . . . you're okay with people laying on you? well get ready, this large man will simply flop onto you ( gently ) wherever you are and kinda half-lay on you, getting comfortable. he is probably one of those people that are able to take naps any and everywhere.
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𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗕𝗢𝗔𝗥𝗗
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𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗧��𝗦
♡ . . . tanaka ryuunosuke, hinata shoyo, eita semi, terushima yuji
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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years ago
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new york boy (hc) | p.p.
a/n: 50TH IMAGINE WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWWWW!! this shit go 🅱razy!
summary: life is hard when you visit your uncle in new york and all of a sudden there's a cute boy named peter parker in your life (i suck at summaries just stick with me here)
warnings: the usual fluff/hella cussing + like a minute of slight angst, also DEADASS THIS IS LIKE 8.5K WORDS I GOT SO SO SOOOOOO CARRIED AWAY AHSAHDJFKSNFK
ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONSISTENCIES OR TYPOS OR ANYTHING I LITERALLY WROTE THIS OVER A FEW DAYS AND GOT SO CARRIED AWAY WITH DIFFERENT PLOTLINES AND BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS THIS IS VERY VERY CHAOTIC BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS GET THE POINT LOL
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+ + +
- SECOND HEADCANON IN A ROW YEAHYEAH
- you guys i've had a one direction relapse i was literally Obsessed with them like eight years ago (when they were still together rip) and all of a sudden they are just living in my brain Rent Free once again
- btw harry is my favorite and always has been. call me basic but it's been an eight year bond so try and fight that 😌✋
- anyways time to write the actual fucking story
- haha Oops!
- no i didn't accidentally spell oops "opps" at first. the fact that you even think that is complete absurdity
- CAN LITTLE THINGS BY 1D STOP MAKING ME EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW
- this is the eighth bullet point and i have yet to get into the actual story holy fuck
- guys i just watched knives out (yeah i know i'm late whatever) and i haven't fully processed it yet but it was Muy Bueno!
- STEAL MY GIRL IS PLAYING
i knowwww i knowwww i knowwww for sure
EVERYBODY WANNA STEAL MY GIRL
EVERYBODY WANNA TAKE HER HEART AWAY
- i am so sorry
- OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE ACTUAL STORY STARTS HOLY SHIT
- yeah ❤
- SO BASICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- fuck what is this imagine about again?
- OH RIGHT
- OKAY
- YOU'RE TONY STARK'S NIECE OKAY
- don't ask me how that works i have No Fucking Clue (which i'm sure you've gathered at this point)
- (i don't know what i'm doing)
- y'all i've got a headache but ❤ nevertheless she persisted ❤
- so basically
- you live like
- not... in new york...?????????
- so like SOMEWHERE ELSE
- let's say you live in like california
- YEAHYEAH OKAY
- SO LIKE YK HOW TONY USED TO LIVE IN CALI
- so you and uncle tones (😌) were super close when he lived in cali and he'd like pick you up from school and get you ice cream and basically be the Coolest Uncle Ever
- ur mom (let's say she's tony's sister) would be like 🙄 whenever he'd goof around with u but she loved y'all's relationship
- ain't that fluffy
- but THEN
- tony moved to new york
- bitch how fucking rude is that
- so u were like
- a little dead inside
- but that was when you were like six so time moved at Hyper Speed back then and you don't really like Remember the Pain 😀
- OH AND BY THE WAY KINDA IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE!!!!!
- SINCE UR MOM GOT MARRIED SHE TOOK YOUR DAD'S LAST NAME (aka l/n) AND YOU KEEP THE FACT THAT TONY IS YOUR UNCLE A SECRET FOR LIKE SAFETY REASONS IG LOL
- Anyways! from there on you only visit once a year and be there for a week
- but u best BELIEVE those visits were HYPE AS FUCK YEAHYEAH
- when you turned 13 ur mom surprised you by finally letting you start going by yourself
- badass 13 year old y/n 😌
- so u were like Heck Yeah!
- YeahYeah 😀😀😀
- happy picks you up from the airport and ur like "uh hi"
- ANYWAYS THE POINT IS YOU START TRAVELLING TO NEW YORK ALONE
- SO!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE NOW IN PRESENT TIME
- you go on your annual trip
- happy picks you up as per usual
- the usual awkward convo goes on which typically goes something like:
"are you excited to see your uncle" "yeah" "cool" "mhmm"
- yeah ❤
- but anyways by the time you're like 10 mins away you're practically Bouncing in your seat
- happy is like.... Girl. Calm Down! 😀
"oh by the way tony has the kid over today"
- bro Huh???????????
- ??????
- "the kid" Very Specific Thank You!
- you're like "who tf is the kid"
"spider-man"
......
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
- your head SPINS over to happy
"he's SPIDER-MAN?"
- happy just gets that Smug Smile Look on his face (y'all know the face) and shrugs, pulling into the garage
- you JUMP out of the car
- you wanna see sum real speed?
"identific-"
"FRIDAY! it's y/n let me in!!!"
- bitch calm down
"welcome back, y/n"
- WANNA SEE SUM REAL SPEED? 2.0
- you BUST through the doors
- not to mention your backpack is Barely Hanging On and happy is still in the garage hurling your suitcase out of the trunk
- sorry happy 😔😔
- happy ain't lookin so happy rn!
"friday, where's my uncle?"
"he's in the laboratory"
- WANNA SEE SUM REAL SPEED?????? 3.0
- go! go! go! go! go! go! go! go!
- spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬
- you FLY down the stairs to the lab
- tony looks over and a smile immediately breaks on his face
- you look disheveled as HELL cause you're like panting and Far Too Excited
- peter looks over and sees you and is like 0_0
- as soon as you see peter you're ALSO like 0_0
- he cute
- wait no fuck he's HOT
"short-circuit!"
- you manage to tear your eyes from peter Somehow and look over at tony, smiling like a madwoman as you jump into his arms and give him a hug
"short-circuit?"
- oh damn
- this kid's Voice!!!!!!!!!!
- adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- you and tony pull apart and tony explains the nickname
"peter, this is y/n, my niece. short-circuit just so happens to come from when this idiotic girl will be talking about something when we're in the lab and she suddenly drifts off and gets this zoned out look on her face. she short-circuits, basically"
- peter's Still like 0_0
- his brain can't even Function Properly because tony was just explaining the next updates to peter's suit and then you're here and you're really pretty and tony apparently has a niece? and Everything Is Happening!!!!!!!!
"well im so sorry that i drift off because my brain is coming up with super cool stuff, which usually tends to make your little inventions even better. let's not forget me figuring out how to properly program JARVIS"
- *not peter's 0_0 look managing to amplify*
- eyebrows are RAISED
- (also quick moment of silence for jarvis i miss him 😔)
in memoriam:
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graphic design is my passion 2.0
fyi graphic design is my passion is becoming a new ~segment~ on these hcs because i love making them and i deadass couldn't stop laughing at my last one
- okay back to Da Program
- all tony does is scoff, clapping you on the back
"anyways... peter's interning for me, so i was just explaining-"
- intern? i don't think so!
- time to be a stark and fuck things up!
- YEAHYEAH
"happy told me he was spider-man? the suit is literally on that table over there? unless he's doing both spider-man and an internship? which is honestly impressive, i mean-" you look over at peter, "with school and everything- unless you don't go to school, but still-"
- you look back over and tony and this man is.........
- he's got that Look on his face you know what i'm talking about
"dammit, now i gotta go yell at happy"
"oh shit was i not supposed to know?"
- tony gives you an exasperated look and you're like Oops!
"it would've been better if you didn't know. just don't go running that big mouth of yours"
- you give him an offended look before being like Okay Fine Whatever
- tony is just tired and peter's standing there like OH FUCK UH OKAY??????????
- aka that one scene in infinity war
youtube
moving on
"y/n, your room is set up. i'm gonna finish up here with pete and then we can go get cheeseburgers. deal?"
- you smile and nod, giving tony a kiss on the cheek (signature stark move)
- (i'm sad now)
- (fuck)
- you start to walk off and look over at peter
"it was nice meeting you, peter"
- mans is like Oh! Who? Me!
"oH- uh- y- yeah, it was nice meeting you, too"
- you give him a small smile and walk up the stairs out of the lab
- fucking dopey ass smile on your face because YOU JUST MET CUTE BOY SPIDERMAN AND HES CUTE AND HOT AND KJSDFHKSDJF FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
- peter looks back from watching you walk away and makes sure you're out of earshot
- fyi his ears are like Red Red and homeboy looks WHIPPED
- silly goose. fools fall in love
"i-um, i didn't know you had a niece?"
- tony just kind of scoffs
- very original reaction, tony! Never Been Done before, Especially by you! Wow!
"and i didn't realize how little time it takes for you to fall in love. i mean the bar was low but, jeez, kid"
"wait- no- i'm not in love"
"hmm okay. but if i catch you pulling something i will not hesitate to say i told you s-"
"no- yeah- that won't be, uh, that won't be a problem, mr stark"
- yeah tell that to your FACE peter
- he's like No! Of Course Not! meanwhile his face is just 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
- why are emojis so goddamn funny. they're the stupidest shits ever but i love them so much
- ANYWAYS!
- you go to your room and unpack and everything and yeahyeah whatever
- btw tony Knows you so when he first moved into the headquarters he immediately set aside a room for you with a view he knew you'd love and like all ur favorite things (posters, comfy bed and pillows and blankets, any instruments u like to play etc) because Uncle Tony is Bae Man
- then tony like sticks his head in and knocks on the doorframe
- ur like "hola!" (soy dora!)
- is that what she says? fuck idk i didn't take spanish and have the memory of a breadcrumb anyways!
"y/n i think you made my intern fall in love with you"
- bro Huh?????????/
- cute random slash ryn! Very Good At Typing!
"what on earth do you mean?"
- on the inside though ur like YEAHYEAH
- MOVING ON I'M GETTING A BIT DETAILED AND IT'S CONFUSING MY DICKHEAD OF A BRAIN
- you and tony get cheeseburgers yeahyeah okay
- so you have the whole week in nyc right
- guess what
- guess
- the fuck
- what
- can i just make my goddamn point already goodness gracious
- these hcs are literally me just writing down every single thought i have while writing these
- you guys do be living rent free in my brain 0_0
- OH MY GOD ANYWAYS
- you best BELIEVE peter is at headquarters
- every
- fucking
- day
- YEAHYEAH
- now the whole reason for that is
- when you got back from the Cheeseburger Extravaganza! tony called peter and was like
"sup bitch"
- i'm kidding
"kid listen my niece needs a friend and at this point maybe even a boyfriend. she hasn't managed to pull anyone yet and you'd be a nice fit ANYWAYS come over tomorrow and show her around new york"
- now, hearing this, peter cannot breathe
- internal monologue be like holyhdhdjhksjdbfhitshitskjfdbjfk
- basically me
- my thoughts
- ✨always✨
- the inner snape in me just came out SORRY
- I JUST MADE MY SCREEN SMALL WHAT THEFUDBS
- oh i fixed it
- okay so YEAH
- peter wakes up next morning and pays SO MUCH ATTENTION TO THE WAY HE LOOKS
- puts on his best science pun tee (i love him so much wtf) and makes sure his hair is just right
- aunt may is like o_0
- Hmm...... something Hinky is going on!
(once you get your bearings, find the carpet that covers the taillight, peel back the carpet, make a fist, punch the taillight out the back of the car, thus creating a hole in the back of the automobile, then stick your little hand out and wave to oncoming motorists to let them know that something hinky is going on!)
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- bae man john mulaney
- i can't hear or even fucking THINK of the word hinky without thinking of detective jj bittenbinder STREETSMARTS
- shut up! you're all gonna dieSTREETSMARTS
- guys i'm starting to think i have ADHD
- oh my god okay BACK TO THE FUCKING STORY COME ON KAMRYN
- writing my full/actual name on here felt weird as fuck. dunno how often i'll be doing that okay anyways
- peter gets to headquarters and is immediately met by thor
"ah, the spider!"
0_0
"sir stark said something about you coming today to show madam y/n around the city!"
- thor gives peter the biggest pat on the back and peter Does Not Know How To Act
"uh, yeah, that's um.. that's what i'm doing"
- thor smiles (the smile he gives hulk in that one scene in ragnarok makes me LOSE MY MIND it's so FUNNY)
- can my cat stop rubbing her face on my laptop goddamn
- I MADE MY SCREEN SMALL AGAIN WTF
- okay reset ANYWAYS
- take a shot every time i say anyways
- hi i'm editing this imagine rn and according to ctrl+f i wrote "anyways" 20 times. time to get blackout drunk and chug a bottle of perfume everyone!
- Not Me with the john mulaney reference Again!
- thor's like "go get em kid"
- peters like "y-yeah thanks"
- gets in the elevator and he's still so flustered and confused and anxious
- his voice fucking CRACKS when he asks friday to take him to your floor
- why is it so cute when boys' voices crack wtf
- when he reaches ur door his heart is like WANNA SEE SUM REAL SPEED? 4.0
- he just knocks quietly and ur like "yeah?"
- ohgodohfuckohgodohfuckohgodohfuck
- peter opens the door and the LOOK ON HIS FACE
- he (⊙ˍ⊙)
- as soon as you see him you go into Fight Or Flight ur like (ง •_•)ง...?
- but u regain ur composure cause ur a stark 😎
"oh, hi peter!"
"hey, um,"
- he like slowly walks in
- mans is So Unsure of what he's allowed to do
- ur just like My Man it is OKAY
"mr. stark- your uncle-"
- yes peter i know hes my uncle
"so i said to her, 'we've been married for three and a half years.' and she knew that."
no i will not stop with the john mulaney quotes do not even try me (Do Not Fuck With Me)
"told me to show you around new york today"
- ur like O Shit Okay?
- you already know tony is tryna pull some SHIT because this is deadass like the idk..... at LEAST tenth time you've been to new york??????
- you tell peter you'll be ready in a few and he just cautiously sits on your bed cause he's so unsure of everything (babey)
- the two of you talk about the whole story about you and tony and stuff
"so yeah then he moved to new york and i've just been visiting him for a week once a year"
"wait"
- you look over, aggressively shoving on ur shoes and peter's just Thinking
"if you've been here before then why does mr. stark want me to show you around"
- you shrug
"he's weird like that"
- so ANYWAYS (take a shot!)
- ur ready n stuff so the two of you leave
- sam is being himself ofc so he starts clapping for the two of you and whooping as you walk past
- bucky starts clapping too but he doesn't know what he's clapping for so he's just looking around like o_0? 👏
- (he eventually sees the two of you though and smiles SO BRIGHT)
- sam's like
"I KNOW THE TWO OF YOU JUST MET BUT DAMN Y/N'S BEEN NEEDING A MAN!"
- you turn and almost beat the Fuck out of that bird-man ur like:
┗|`O′|┛
- WHY IS THT SO FUNYNJFDN
we ┗|`O′|┛┗|`O′|┛┗|`O′|┛┗|`O′|┛┗|`O′|┛
WHAT THE FUCKDBGKDJFGNSKDJFNHEHAHHFSBJDFA
┗|`O′|┛I'M WALKIN HERE!
- oh my god ANYWAYS (TAKE A SHOT)
- tony just chillin in the back with a smug look on his face
- so you guys just start walking through the streets and peter just points out random things
"this is where an old lady gave me a churro"
"right up there is where i did a flip for this guy at a hot dog cart"
"i hung a bike robber right here- oh shoot well like i didn't hang him but i like suspended him in the air.. with my web.... if you, uh, know what i'm sayingi'mgonnastoptalkingnow"
- ur like bitch if you keep acting like this (aka like yourself) imma start Acting Up
- it's Too Cute
- the two of you take the subway to get to queens so he can show you around His Area Of New York
- which is a whole experience cause it's
- the fucking
- subway
- in new york
- you see a subway rat and you get SO EXCITED
- the fucking brightest smile is on your face and peter just looks at you in awe because it's a fucking rat but for some reason you got so happy over it???????
- the subway car was PACKED AS HELL (aka peter. we all know it)
- (there's NO WAY peter's dick is small moving on)
- so the two of you are forced to hold onto the pole things
- and since cali doesn't have subways and subway poles are not something you generally see
- does it? i've never fucking been there i shouldn't be spitting facts that probably aren't actually facts
- for the sake of this imagine california does not have subways
😌
- you decide to Pull a Move and fucking wrap your leg around it, laughing as you spin slightly
- very ungracefully might i add
- we're talking about y/n. the Clumsy Messy Hair Bitch from every goddamn book on this app
- can we talk about how y/n is a whole ass character. like ask anyone who reads fanfic to describe y/n and they Would Not describe themselves DESPITE THE FACT THAT Y/N LITERALLY MEANS "YOUR NAME"
- anyways (two shots of vodka *glug glug*)
- peter gets slightly flustered at your stripper move but covers it up with a laugh
- something about The Way peter's holding onto the pole above ur head is VERY ATTRACTIVE
- now is the time to go look back at the gif i used for this imagine
"what's a camera like you doing in a place like this?"
- fuck you tom for being cute shut up
- the car stumbles and
- CLICHE MOMENT ALERT y'all know what's going on
- you stumble slightly and peter (speedy spidey reflexes) quickly grabs you by the waist to steady you
- AWKWARD MOMENT
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"thanks"
"oh- yeah, uh, no problem"
- he like... awkwardly pulls his hand away from your waist and suddenly his hand feels like a fucking lead balloon with No Purpose so he just stuffs it in his pocket because Pockets!
- you lowkey wish he'd kept his hand on your waist OOPS
- we desperate for human contact 😔
- the two of y'all get off the subway at his stop and as soon as you step out into the like Actual Street or Whatever you're like 😀 cause it's so PRETTY and it's peter's home so it's even more exciting
- you get lunch at delmar's (ofc)
- mr delmar kept making suggestive eyes between the two of you so you were like o_0
- but it was SO CUTE BECAUSE PETER AND MR DELMAR JUST HAD SUCH A CUTE RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER
- AND FUCKING MR DELMAR HAD THE BALLS TO GO
"supongo que ya no preguntarás por mi hija, eh?"
- WHICH
- IF YOU DON'T SPEAK SPANISH CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T
- thank u google translate for the assistance😌
- TRANSLATES TO "guess you won't be asking about my daughter anymore, huh?"
como estas tu hija eh?
that'll be ten dollars
IT'S FIVE DOLLARS
- anyways (shots! shots! shots shots shots shots! shots!)
- ur like Bro Huh and peter's like NOTHING
- and fucking 🅱ETER
- this BITCH
- ALSO HAD THE BALLS TO FUCKING REPLY IN SPANISH
"ella es la hija del señor stark" (she's mr. stark's daughter)
- ngl you couldn't breathe for a second
- cause who The Fuck can when 🅱eter 🅱ucking 🅱arker speaks ESPAÑOL
- ????????????? WHO
- moving on (not saying a****** to give you a break from the shots you're welcome)
- you get your sandwiches and they fucking SLAP
- peter smiles SO HARD WHEN HE SEES YOUR REACTION CAUSE HE'S SO EXCITED THAT YOU LIKE HIS FAVORITE SANDWICH (not you saying "i'll have what he has" just because you were too busy thinking about him speaking spanish oops)
- the two of you share a bag of gummy worms
- overall 11/10 experience
- i got a bit carried away with that and we're running on over 3000 (rip) words here so i'm gonna hurry this up goodness fuck
- editing ryn here to say HAHA 3000 words little did i Fucking Know
- the two of you get back to headquarters and peter DROPS YOU OFF AT YOUR ROOM LIKE THE GENTLEMAN HE IS AND IT'S KINDA AWKWARD BECAUSE HOW ON EARTH WOULDN'T IT BE BUT HE'S SO CUTE SO IT'S OKAY
- ngl you lay on your bed for a second like "wait was that a date?"
- peter legit just walks to the end of the hallway before closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall, letting out a sigh
- he's like holy shit i need to stop getting so whipped over girls within less than 24 hours
- then fucking sir STANK rounds the corner
"hey, pete! how was showing short-circuit around?"
"oh, hi, uh, it was good"
- this boy is fucking Flustered As Hell
"good? good. what'd y'all do?"
"we, just, um, walked around and i showed her around queens, too"
- tony just looks at him for a second and is like damn this kid needs a break i'll lay off of him
- so like the Cool Guy he is he like awkwardly pats peter on the shoulder and walks over to your room
- u and tones have a convo about your day and you end up gushing about it a little bit OOPS
- tony is so proud of himself him and his egotistical ass Goodness
- a n y w a y s  ( t a k e  a  s h o t ! )
- peter ends up coming over everyday because It's Summer! and he has No Life!
- just thought i'd let you know that i have spent the last couple days binge watching bestdressed's videos and now everything i write down is being narrated by ashley
- actually fuck that everything i THINK is narrated by ashley
- also can we gush about her in the comments like she seems like the coolest person ever and like the big sister i never had and she's so open about her life and funny and quirky but in a good way and i just have So Much Respect For Her!!!!!!!!!!!
- and i want her apartment SO BAD I'M LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH IT
- THE FUCKING FIRE ESCAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- not me having a weird obsession with fire escapes ever since reading/writing peter parker fics which tend to involve them in some way or another
- SO YEAH peter's hanging around a lot
- at first it's a bit weird cause you're like..... You Don't Live Here.....??????????? but At This Point You Almost Do????????????????
- AIN'T NO COMPLAINTS THOUGH
- the two of you break the ice pretty quick
- the night of the day after peter showed you around (did that make any sense at all probably not) you were just chilling in your room watching uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- let me think rq
- um okay uhhhhhh (bonus points to you if you read that in peter's voice)
- OKAY SO YOU'RE WATCHING LADY BIRD (bomb movie)
- fun fact time! i like saying "what you do is very baller" at random times because idk why but that line makes me laugh SO HARD
- timothee's character in general was just..... so............
- ????????????
- yeah so you're watching lady bird and peter passes your doorway cause he was "going on a walk"
- headass
- you see him and ur like o_0
"peter?"
- bitch fucking TRIPS
- oh u got me trippinnnnn oh stumblinnnnn oh flippinnnnnnn oh fumblinnnn oh
- clumsy cause i'm falling in ~love~
- are those the right lyrics? eh whatever
- CANADA EH
youtube
ah the serotonin.. okay MOVING ON
"y-yeah? oH hi y/n didntuhhhhhhh didn't see you there"
- he's casually scratching the back of his neck because he's nervy
"yeah, i'm, um..."
- YOU'RE NERVY TOO
- composure equals regained though bc stark. yeah!
- my thoughts are........ incoherent
"i'm watching lady bird, uh, if you wanna join"
- WATCH A MOVIE?
- WITH YOU?????????????????
- hells yeah!
"o-oh, yeah, sure"
- mans awkwardly waddles in and sits at the edge of your bed
"you can like... lay down, peter. i don't bite"
- he just awkwardly lays down and his side lightly presses against yours
- you have to shut your eyes for a second because MAN does unexpected contact from a boy have such a big effect on you
- not even kidding one of my guy friends patted me on the head as he walked past my desk and i DEADASS GOT BUTTERFLIES I WAS SO ASHAMED
- LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WHO ALLOWED THAT ???????????????
- so anyways (🥂)
- why isn't there a shot glass emoji this is discrimination (i'm kidding)
- the movie was great like
- you and peter would just laugh at random parts and eventually just started critiquing every little moment
- it ended up as a very great moment very nice very cool
- we like furthering our relationships with cute boys :D
- those of you who have been following the story (on my message board) abt the boy i'm talking to aka furthering my relationship with... yeahyeah!
- essentially you and peter start hanging out every day
- the Chemistry you have is Unmatched
- like you just clicked really well
- mainly y'all just watch tv in the commons
- you binge watch i'm not okay with this even though you've already seen it
- peter's like "so why do you like this show so much?"
- ur like 0_0 ... "the plot"
THE PLOT IN QUESTION: stanley barber
- who happens to give me peter parker vibes a little bit
- food network turns on and it takes you like five minutes tops to migrate to the kitchen
- the brownies y'all made did not turn out well
- bucky took a bite, made a face, then smirked
"you two put weed in here?"
- no, bitch, we just suck at baking
- lots of late night convos ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- BIG ICEBREAKERS THERE
"wait so like... how big do you expect our dicks to be"
"peter what the fuck"
"i'm curious!"
- if you haven't had one of those convos with someone of the opposite gender... You Haven't Lived
- also why do guys like talking about their dicks so much???? the amount of comments they make about them during those convos.. meanwhile i'm just trying to figure out their personality 😔
- the two of you even spend time in the lab together
- this is when he sees ~short-circuit~ in action
- y'all are doing some dumbass experiment idk
- OOH IDEA
- so y'all are making ✨something✨ for an upgrade on peter's suit
- my idea was only half developed don't make fun of me
- and you make a Stunning Realization and fucking SPIN around in your chair to face peter
- ur just rambling making science-y smart connections and peters like holy shit she's a fucking genius of course she is how on earth did she just
- and then as you get further into your discovery you suddenly just cut off and stare into the distance with this Super Serious Look on your face
- THE WAY THAT AS I WROTE "SUPER" 1D WENT "I CAN'T BE NO SUPERMAN"
(but for you i'll be superhuman!)
- then you just SPIN AROUND in your chair and start working on the suit again
- peter's just like 0_0 for a moment
"huh, okay"
- it takes you a few seconds to realize he even said anything but then you look up and ur like 0_0 (we're gonna have to start taking a shot every time i use that face goodness fuck)
"what?"
"you short-circuited!"
- he's all giddy and smiley about it too cause he FINALLY UNDERSTANDS
"shut up, parker"
- peter Totally has a thing for being called parker i just know it
- MY CAT JUST JUMPED UP AND CLAWED ME
- greedy bitch
- AS I WAS SAYING...
- once you get in the ~thing~ that you designed for the suit
- okay i really need to think of an actual upgrade give me a min
- OKAY SO YOU MADE A VOICE CHANGER
- wow very cool, me! innovation that Excites!
- we're just gonna ignore the fact that the interrogation protocol has a voice changer got it? yeahyeah
- peter's like No Way when you tell him you finished it
- you slip on the mask and tell karen to activate the Grown Man Protocol (not peter being offended by the name)
- you start talking and immediately BUST OUT LAUGHING because you sound like Siri
- and since you're Hella Genius you made it so you could change the voices just like how siri is
- so suddenly you're a BRITISH MAN
- you and peter can't stop laughing
- you give it to peter and then you're like
"wait no try it on with the suit too"
- peter's like o_0?
"for effect!"
- walter beckett?
- TOM?
- okay whatever
- peter's like
"okay um i'm just gonna uh... change over here"
- you nod and turn around
- just the sound of his clothes hitting the ground itself gives you butterflies
- and then you realize
- you can deadass See Him Through The Reflection Of The Microscope
- is that even possible? for the sake of this imagine Yes
- your face gets SO HOT
- it's a very small reflective area thing so not a lot of detail but ENOUGH TO SHOW HIS TONED SEXY ASS PHYSIQUE
- fucking crush me peter please i beg it would be an honor
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"i want you to do it so i can stomp you with my hooves, i'm so fucking crazy"
- (crazy for you, peter!)
"okay it's on"
- you practically BLAST around in your seat because the VOICE IS WORKING AND IT'S STILL BRITISH
- peter your tom is showing
- ngl though you couldn't stop thinking about how peter looked through the reflection and you didn't even want to THINK about how he would look-
...
- you know
- in all actuality you did want to think about it like think about it for literally the rest of your life if you could but we're gonna ignore that
- nonetheless the experience was Muy Bueno Very Fun and you and peter spent a solid hour just messing with the voices
- ALSO!!!!!!!!!! another plotline: WHEN PETER'S AT HEADQUARTERS FOR A LEGITIMATE REASON
- that reason being training
- let me just say
- even though he only trained twice during ur visit
- you fucking CHERISHED those moments
- because when peter told you the night before his training session that he would be training in the morning you were like Hmm...... I Need To See This
- so you deadass "take a walk" (Very Peter Of You) by the training room
- and ur met with the sight of this:
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i hate him so fucking much
who the FUCK ALLOWED THIS i can't breathe
- you definitely take out your phone to snap a few pics DON'T EVEN LIE TO ME YOU WOULD
- ur camera is on live mode too 😌
- then you run away before you get caught but DAMN
- when you go back to your room you just Inspect those pics like a crazy person and keep replaying the live
- then u look at the time
"friday, when does peter's training end?"
"peter parker's training is scheduled to finish in two minutes"
- TWO MINUTES?
- SAY LESS!
- you check yourself in the mirror before ZOOMING downstairs and distracting yourself in the kitchen
- silently thanking the gods (thor?) that no one was in the kitchen when you got there
- (hi i'm getting carried away with this mini plot so just like don't mind it)
- (carried away as in i really really did get carried away LOL)
- you're like what the fuck i can't just Stand Here in the Middle of the Kitchen so you grab some strawberries from the refrigerator and start cutting them up (they just Taste Better that way don't fight me) for a "snack"
THE SNACK IN QUESTION: peter
- yeah ❤
- just as you pop one into your mouth peter walks in to get a glass of water
- now let me just set the scene:
you: mouth in a weird 'o' shape as your mouth forgets how to chew because fucking peter just walked in peter: curly hair a sweaty mess, skin glistening with sweat, wearing black shorts and a gray tank top which Just Fucking Ends You, his usual adorable baby face, oh and he's also panting cause he's fucking exhausted and now you're also out of breath because damn that is Hot strawberries: chopped
"oh, hi y/n"
- the fucking PANTING
- why is breathing heavy so hot?
- i think we all know
"hey, peter"
- shoutout to your stark genes for giving you fake confidence whenever you need it
"want any strawberries?"
- he fucking chugs half of his water just Right In Front Of You
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the jawline i hate him so much can he shut up right now like genuinely please shut the fuck up goodness fucking gracious tom
jk please step on me
- he swallows and has Finally Caught his Breath
"oh, yeah, thank you"
- he just walks over to you
- as if he doesn't look the way he does
- and just grabs a strawberry and pops it into his mouth
- nonchalantly or whatever
- you pray to THOR he can't hear your heart as it fucking SLAMS AGAINST YOUR STERNUM
- it's beating so fast it's like LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- he hums
"strawberries taste so much better after training"
- you know what would taste better after training?
- lol
"thank you for the snack, i'm gonna go shower now"
- he elbows you and smiles lightly
- you almost can't speak because it's all Far Too Much for you to handle rn
"no problem, peter"
- as if you weren't having a heart attack okay
- i really got caught up in that but WHATEVER
- ladies and gents we are running on over 5k words at this point holy shit
- SO I'M GONNA START WRAPPING THIS UP A LITTLE
- basically you and peter become good friends by the end of your trip
- and then
- the dreaded
😔
- time to leave, bros
- the night before is kinda weird cause you and peter are just hanging out on the roof of headquarters because why not
"leaving new york usually doesn't feel as weird as this"
- peter looks over at you
- btw at this point 🅱eter is Beyond Whipped so he's fucking SAD that you're going home
"what do you mean?"
- the two of you share a look and it's very sad because you both know that you've become really good friends and both want a bit more
- part of you considers being a baddie and just trying to like at LEAST kiss him tonight (maybe more wink wink) so you could at least have that before you go but you chicken out
- the two of you say goodbye that night because your flight is at the Crack of Dawn
- he awkwardly pulls you in for a hug and suddenly you deeply consider locking yourself in your room so nobody can make you leave
- and then you remember vision can fucking Hover through walls and you're like Well Damn!
- you hug him tightly (a bit too tight yeah maybe)
- when you pull apart this Bitch literally goes
"well it was nice meeting you"
- you CAN'T FUCKING HOLD IT IN AND JUST MAKE THE MOST OBSCENE LAUGHING NOISE
"peter we spent a week together and you're acting like we had a 5 minute encounter"
"i don't know how to act!"
- me neither, peter. me neither
- so you leave in the morning and you're fucking UPSET
- tony is in the car with you and happy and he WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU AND PETER BECAUSE YOU SPENT AT LEAST HALF OF YOUR TIME WITH HIM
- YOU'RE LIKE SHUT UP I'M GOING THROUGH A HEARTBREAK OVER A BOY I'VE KNOWN FOR SEVEN DAYS
- aren't we all
- your goodbye to tony is sad but like Not Even As Sad as your goodbye with peter which is KINDA MESSED UP BUT
- the heart wants what it wants
- and just when you get on the plane
- is when you realize
- you and peter didn't get each other's numbers
...
- Wtf 💔
- so THE WHOLE PLANE RIDE IS SAD
- YOU LISTEN TO MUSIC AND DRAMATICALLY LOOK OUT THE WINDOW LIKE UR IN A SAD MUSIC VIDEO FOR HALF THE FLIGHT
- YOU ALSO REWATCH LADY BIRD :,(((((((((((((((((((((((( in remembrance of the good old times
- when you get home you're like kinda happy to be home but you miss new york and tony and peter and everyone So Much
- even ur mom notices she's like 🤨 Hmm... this Ain't The Usual!
- so this is where the request ended off but i'm adding to it because i do Not want to leave this on an angsty note
- I'M ABOUT TO HIT 6K WORDS BUT IT'S FINE
- LET'S CRANK THIS OUT WOOT WOOT
- so peter just so happens to wake up that morning and SIT UP VERY QUICKLY AS IT HITS HIM
- (ur like on ur flight probably zooming over the Goddamn Midwest)
- he has the same realization that you did
"may!"
- the woman RUNS in she's like WHATISEVERYTHINGOKAYAREYOUOKAY
"i just realized i didn't get y/n's number"
- woman melts she's like i thought you were fucking DYING goddamn spider bitch boy
- but then she melts even more because she didn't even need peter to tell her how Whipped he is
"awh, i'm sorry hon"
- next time peter goes to headquarters he talks to tony and the mans just like This Is Your Fault!
- but then nat pops in
"peter, you do realize you could probably find her on social media, right"
- moment of silence for you and peter's stupidity because somehow Neither Of You Thought Of That???????????
- rip
- as soon as he leaves from training (looking Sexy As Hell) he searches your name on instagram
- "y/n stark"
- and nothing shows up
- because you never told him your actual last name because IT NEVER CAME UP
- he just assumed it was stark cause why wouldn't he
- SO HE'S LIKE :,)
- until his next time at headquarters
"mr. stark i couldn't find her on instagram"
- tony's like i really got this kid hooked huh
"pretty sure she has one, pete"
"well i looked her up! y/n stark. nothing"
- then tony's like oHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"kid, her last name's l/n."
- peter just sits there like 0_0 for a second before it all ties together in his head and makes sense
"oh my god"
- SO HE GETS YOUR INSTAGRAM
- he definitely looks through all his posts and deletes a few embarrassing ones before requesting to follow you
INSTAGRAM peterbparker has requested to follow you.
- you SHOOT UP IN YOUR BED
- NOBODY MOVE
- you do the same thing peter did and look through all your posts and delete a few before accepting his request
- and then you request back and he immediately accepts it
- commence the hour of stalking!
- the two of you just fucking Investigate each others' accounts before peter's like O Shit! i should Probably message her!
peterbparker: Right after you left I realized I forgot to get your number
- kinda awkward but your heart is RACING you're like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- the two of you begin talking and get each other's numbers and snapchats and whatever
- over time the two of you get really close over the internet like
- you become the first ones you go to when you see a dog or get food at a cool place or see a funny meme/tiktok or just like have a problem in general or want to talk
- and ofc you gush about him to your friends and they're like
- Girl... u really fell for a New York Boy Huh
- after a few months you finally muster up the courage to facetime him
- you almost Collapse once his face shows up because guess the fuck what
- he just finished training
- mua ha haaaa
"hello!"
- he says it all goofy like hi hello we're facetiming now holy shit oh FUCK we're FACETIMING!!!!!!?????!?!?!?!?
- i luv him
- the two of you talk for a bit and you fan yourself off-screen because the sight of him Genuinely made you light on fire and plus you were just nervous in general
- he even runs around the entire fucking building to find everyone so you can say hi cause he's babey
- the team DEFINITELY yells stuff like "lovebirds!" and "date already!" in the background and peter's face just gets So Red
- he finds tony and deadass goes
"mr. stark! it's your niece!"
- tony's like No Shit!
- overall amazing 100/10 time facetiming
- so the two of you start facetiming practically every day even though it's not summer anymore and you're back in school and have hella busy lives (peter's literally a superhero?)
- you'll facetime while doing homework and he'll help you with physics (even though you don't really need the help you pretend you do anyways) and it's so cute when he does because he Loves physics so much so he gets really excited and into it
- sometimes you'll fall asleep while on ft and he'll take screenshots
- ngl he set his favorite one as his lockscreen because he loved it so much and ned and mj definitely saw it and were lowkey like 🥺🥺 cause they ship you two so hard
- and when he'd fall asleep on ft you'd take screenshots too and look at them every time you missed him
- NOW THE EXCITING PART
- so it's winter now
- the Horrible Disgusting period between thanksgiving and christmas break
- because of finals the two of you facetime a bit less so it's kinda sad
- BUT THEN
- right when you get out of school for christmas break you're about to call peter so the two of you can celebrate (not peter checking the time every few minutes after he got out of school because he's a couple hours ahead)
- somebody's got a surprise
- you get a call from peter right when you get into your car and you're like Perfect Timing Hell Yeah
- you answer it and are met with the sight of him and tony smiling at the camera
*immediately screenshots it*
"oh, hi tony!"
"we have a surprise"
- peter's like bouncing from excitement and tony gives him a look before starting to talk
"we're fl-"
"WE'RE FLYING YOU TO NEW YORK FOR CHRISTMAS!"
- peter interrupts and tony looks so defeated but YOU BARELY EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE YOU'RE SO EXCITED
- tony explains everything cause he worked it out with your parents (y'all are just gonna celebrate early)
- (tony doesn't say this but deadass the reason ur parents even let you is because they know how much you wanna go back mainly to see peter)
- eventually tony leaves the two of you alone to talk and you're just in your car in the school parking lot practically yelling at your phone as you and peter talk about how excited you are
"and you can finally meet may-"
"may!"
"yes, may! and we can go back to delmar's and see murph-"
"murph!"
- peter can't stop smiling cause you're so excited and you look so cute cause you're Trying Your Best to get out of the parking lot while maintaining excitement
"can we go see times sq- MOTHERFUCKER GET OUT OF THE WAY JESUS CHRI- sorry peter i didn't mean to explode"
- if anything that made you even cuter in his eyes
- you and peter facetime while you pack and neither of you can handle your excitement AT ALL
- the night before you leave you're both in your beds across the country just talking quietly to each other over the phone and it's like the quiet cute excitement because you're seeing each other in less than 24 hours and you're both so so whipped by each other and just Cannot Wait
- it's really late ESPECIALLY for peter since he's ahead of you but he doesn't care at ALL
- so y'all are just whispering to each other
"i'm so excited, pete"
"i know, me too"
"i'm not gonna know how to act"
"me neither. you're not allowed to make fun of how awkward i am, okay?"
"peter, you being awkward is cute"
- the two of you can barely sleep from excitement but you fall asleep (on ft ofc) with smiles on your faces
- as soon as you wake up you text peter and you're like GO GO GO (spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬)
- you call him one last time while you're waiting at the gate
"i think i'm gonna pee myself"
"well if you do at least clean yourself up before i get there"
- his LAUGH
- the boyish laugh that FUcking Ends Me
"i'm still so amazed at how i managed to convince mr. stark to let me pick you up"
- you can't stop smiling especially at the thought of peter DRIVING (hot as FUCK)
"you'd better be a good driver, peter"
"it's fine, the car has autopilot so we won't die"
"glad to hear it, pete- oh sHIT my plane's boarding"
- peter FREAKS OUT
"have a safe and amazing flight and text me when you land, okay?"
"i will peter, thank you. see you in new york"
"see you in new york"
- y'all say that in the most Giddy Way (literally how could you not)
- you're bouncing in your seat the whole flight and the dude next to you is like o_0
- the SECOND you land you text peter
y/n: IM HERE IM HERE WE JUST LANDED ILL BE OFF THE PLANE IN A FEW MINUTES
- peter's sitting in this Far Too Expensive Car and he's just bouncing in his seat cause he has so much pent up energy
- he gets the text and that's when it really settles in
- he starts freaking out a little and like constantly checks himself in the rearview mirror and starts playing the playlist the two of you made together (puppy eyes) and makes sure he smells good
- then he sees you walk out out of the airport looking really excited and tired and confused
- mans JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR
"y/n!"
- you see him and ur literally smiling SO HARD
- you run at him, suitcase flopping around and backpack nearly falling off of your shoulders
- but you look so cute and peter can't handle it especially when the two of you finally make contact and your arms wrap around him
- he squeezes you so tight and even lifts you off the ground cause he's Strong and Excited
- that sounded a bit sexual OOPS
- you can't even process the fact that you're finally back in peter's arms after half a year and now you're literally so much closer than you were when you left new york last summer
- when you pull apart you can't stop looking at each other and just smiling giddily
- your arms are still like holding onto each other
- what finally breaks you is a fucking Ungodly gust of wind and you're like
"holy shit winter here is a lot colder than cali"
"oH, right, uh we have blankets in the car"
- the two of you just take another few seconds to look at each other until it gets a bit awkward and you clear your throats
"i can take your bag?"
"yeah, thanks"
- you watch his muscles flex as he lifts your suitcase into the back and you're like i hate this man
- this GENTLEMAN even RUNS OVER TO YOUR SIDE AND OPENS YOUR DOOR FOR YOU BEFORE YOU GET THE CHANCE
- you MELT
- when you sit down he closes the door for you and you're hit with the sound of your shared playlist and the car smells like peter's scent and it's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- when he gets into the driver seat (which was very attractive to watch) you're just staring at him excitedly
"you put on our playlist!"
"why wouldn't i?"
- he smiles at you before reaching back and getting the blankets for you, also turning on your seat heater to make sure you're comfy
- mans just watches you as you shift around, buckling in and getting your backpack situated at your feet
- by the time you're all ready and stuff you look over and he's just looking at you
"pete-"
"would it be too soon for me to kiss you?"
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- it takes you a second to process but you're like OH MY GODKFSDKNFSK
"yeah, peter, it would"
- your serious tone RUINS PETER
- HE'S LIKE OH MY GOD WHY DID I ASK THAT WHY DO I EXIST
- until you laugh and wrap a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him to you and planting your lips on his
- (AAAAAAAAAAHDKSJDFHSKJDFBKSDJGNSDKJFNADSJKABBJFS)
- bonus: the two of you are just singing in the car and (peter looks so hot when he's driving anyways) peter suddenly goes silent and you're like "what" and he just glances at you before going "is it bad that i really want to pull over so i can kiss you again?"
- double bonus: he pulls over and y'all makeout LOL
+ + +
holy FUCK i got so so carried away but i really like this one soooooo
OKAY HERE'S MY LITTLE THANK YOU NOTE IN HONOR OF THE 50TH IMAGINE AAAAAAAAAA: you GUYS. when i started this book it was literally just me being like "i'm in love with this fictional boy and need an outlet and have FAR too many ideas," which is really how every fanfic writer starts tbh. but oh my god, i never expected to get so much love and support and just such an amazing experience from this. there are people all over the world that read my chaotic fluffy shit, that are actually touched by my work and it legitimately blows my mind. 180k reads in almost a year? like 250 followers? INSANE. i've made so many friends on here that i can come to when i have no one in my real life to talk to and every time i reach out, you guys are here for me and so incredibly supportive and helpful and amazing. i love each and every comment you guys post on my works. they make me laugh so hard and are so beyond sweet and make my heart melt. some of them blow my mind cause you guys will be like "omg hi you responded oh my god i love your work" and like hype me so much and i'm like BRUH!!!! i'm literally just a stressed out, anxiety ridden teenage girl in love with peter parker lol and the fact that you guys support me so much and love my work just truly makes me so happy. i love writing and i love that my writing has reached other people, even if it's literally just silly fanfiction. I APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU GUYS WITH EVERYTHING IN ME AND EVEN IF I DON'T REPLY TO YOUR COMMENT I SEE IT AND YOU GUYS MAKE ME SMILE AND AAAAAAAAAAAKJSDFNKJDF <33333333333333
okay now i have 5 more requests to write HAHA but i hope u guys are having an amazing day/night/whatever and that ur drinking enough water and eating enough and staying happy and healthy <3 MWAH!
3 notes · View notes
29anima-blog · 6 years ago
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Best. Convo. Ever.
3:27AM    4/03/19
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like sad.
Stranger: Hello
You: hello
You: hows it going fellow sad human :)
You: :(*
Stranger: Not actually a human
You: :O same here
Stranger: It's going alright, not really that good
Stranger: How about you
You: mehh could be better
Stranger: I feel that
You: anything particular or is it just life lol?
Stranger: Yeah, just need some inspiration to get me going again
You: aha i getchu
Stranger: How are things on your end? What can make your life better
You: ahh thats a big question
You: lets just say im quite an overthinker
Stranger: I know the feeling
You: So I worry too much about what I want to die with my life etc
You: but im going through a "not giving a shit phase" atm lol
Stranger: Yeah, that's a big thing for a lot of people
Stranger: I'm sure you'll find something you'll enjoy
Stranger: Umm are you in any programs? Like that the school offers
Stranger: Maybe you'll find something you enjoy there
Stranger: Its always good to have hobbies
You: hmm not really im quite an antisocial person so i hadnt considered it
You: i do music on the side for fun
You: but its quite pricey hahah
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Hobbies can definitely be expensive
You: yeah im currently saving up for some equipment so
Stranger: That's nice, goals yass
You: well what do you like to do for fun?
Stranger: ATM I'm into gaming
You: oo me too
You: although i havnt played games for a while
Stranger: Ahh
Stranger: I play shooters mostly
Stranger: I do enjoy other games occasionally
You: yaas pc or a console?
Stranger: Mostly console
Stranger: A little pc here and there
You: ahh i see
Stranger: Yep
Stranger: I'm just in love with edits in videos I want to be more involved with the community but like you I am also sort of antisocial at times
You: Ahhhh
You: you do edits?
Stranger: A little but I'm really not good
You: ah i doubt that
You: what types of edits
You: i wish i was good at video editing haha
Stranger: ATM kinda like a montage
You: ah thats cool
Stranger: I love the community but I'm just so scared of it tbh
You: ah i feels
Stranger: I've never really had anxiety and stuff, but I understand now
Stranger: There's a few people in the community I have a real hard time talking to
Stranger: Like my heart is bumpin' super fast and sometimes I get a sinking feeling
Stranger: Do you have any solutions?
You: aw one of my best friends is like that
You: hmm
You: well recently she's been forcing herself into social situations
You: umm
You: i would start small maybe just talk to a stranger on the bus or something
Stranger: I hate lfgs but it'll probably help
You: ahh understandable
Stranger: I suck online, in person I'm alright
Stranger: Idk why that is
You: i dont really like social situations but it doesnt make me too nervous
You: ahh really?its the opposite for me hahah
You: in person im awkward asf
Stranger: I can be too, but it's usually when I want people to stop talking to me
You: aha
Stranger: I'm not really one to tell someone to go away or shut up
You: For me it would take a while for me to be myself around you if id just met you
You: like id have to chill with you for a long time
You: yeahh me too tbh
Stranger: Yeah, I feel that
You: i get especially awkward if i like someone and im talking to them lmfao
Stranger: Oh lmao
You: thats the only time ill really be nervous
Stranger: Last time I was like that was middle school haha
You: ahh hahah
You: wait how old is middle school lol
Stranger: Do you play any sports or something?
You: we dont use those terms in the UK lol
You: yeahh basketball and I go to the gym a lot
Stranger: Umm like 12, 13, 14
You: ahh so how old are you now?
You: and are you into sports?
Stranger: 19 :/
Stranger: Yeah, wrestling
You: ahh 16 here
Stranger: Oh boy
You: Oo thats awesome
Stranger: Yeah it was fun
Stranger: Especially if you're good
You: i took up kick boxing recently
Stranger: Because then you can use it as like a line
You: i enjoy it way more than karate
You: ahh right
Stranger: Talking to a girl or something, be like aye come watch my matches
Stranger: Don't recommend sitting with them until after you shower tho
You: hahaha
You: ah well I am a girl so don't think i'd be doing that lol
Stranger: Idk some of the girls out here are spitting game
Stranger: Like when I was in school they were smooth af
You: lmaoo
You: id have to be extremely comfortable around someone to have game lol
Stranger: I'm just saying it's just natural for some
You: yeah ive seen
Stranger: One of my best friends, she had a guy miss his stop and go to her house I was like woah
You: god damn lol
Stranger: They ended up dating for two years
You: wow
Stranger: Yeah man, some people out here are experts, I've only been in a handful of relationships
Stranger: So I'm not the best when it comes to keeping people around
You: ahh i get youu
Stranger: Yeah, a lot of my relationships ended pretty bad
Stranger: How about you?
You: How old were you when u had your first serious relationship
You: aw damn that sucks
Stranger: Like 13
You: aha 14 here
Stranger: Wait what do you mean by serious?
You: when I had my first boyfriend
Stranger: Like sexual stuff or like
You: no just like
You: i dont even know what i meant tbh
Stranger: Yeah then, 13
You: rightt
Stranger: We we're together for a while going to each other houses to hang out and stuff
Stranger: I loved her family
Stranger: Super friendly
Stranger: We just drifted apart and I kinda was mean
Stranger: How did yours go?
You: ah suckss
You: well uh it was great at first
You: i was 14 he was 15
Stranger: Ooo
You: like we had a lot in common and many mutual friends
You: we were together for about a year
You: thinks just got ugly the last few months like he was really aggressive
You: and then yeahh that was that
Stranger: Like how?
Stranger: Idk I was just giving her the cold shoulder without even realizing it
You: at first he would just lose his temper and throw shit around or punch something
You: but then he hit me one time in front of all of my friends
Stranger: Yeah, that's a no no
You: and I was actually willing to forgive him but my friends didn't let me to
You: and im glad they didnt
Stranger: That's good
You: i was quite naive then but
You: nah lol
Stranger: I meant like them not letting you forgive him ahha
You: yeahh I know :p
You: were you in love with her
You: the girl you grew apart form
Stranger: Umm sort of
Stranger: Hard to explain
You: yeah love is a tricky word
Stranger: I tend to use it in the wrong sense
Stranger: Idk, she was really cool, we didn't really share many things but she was understanding
Stranger: Because we were completely different people
You: ahh
Stranger: At the end of the day, she had both her parents her whole life and was sheltered, I didn't so I knew way more than her in that sense
You: ahh :( must of been hard
Stranger: Eh, I had my uncles to keep me in check
Stranger: And even tho my dad wasn't there a lot to help me, he still showed me a lot of things
Stranger: Like never lay a hand on a woman, and look out for others
You: ah i see
Stranger: I'm the second oldest
Stranger: 2 brothers 2 sisters
You: ah wow
You: ive just got an older brother
Stranger: Was he nice ?
You: Well
You: when we were younger we pretty much hated eachother and he always hit me lol
You: but now he's more supportive and a much calmer guy
Stranger: Lmao
You: he had loads of issues i cant really hate him anymore
You: but he's quite a jealous guy so hes scared of other boys lol
Stranger: I feel that
Stranger: Oh really now? Like he doesn't have guy friends or
You: yeah hes been like a dad to me pretty much lol
You: nah he does but like
You: hes scared of my interactions with guys because, in his words he "knows what guys are like"
Stranger: That's true
You: so he would threaten me to not have a boyfriend and shit lol
Stranger: Yeah
You: im kind of glad he was like that though
Stranger: Have you been to a part yet?
Stranger: Party
You: prevented me from doing dumb shit
You: Yeah one
You: not really my thing
Stranger: Go to a few more then you'll see what he means
You: Yeah I pretty much understood from that party hahha
You: pretty much an excuse to drink, smoke and have sex
Stranger: Yep
Stranger: Like we come from different places
Stranger: Out here in Illinois people are like less picky
You: oh really?
Stranger: A lot of my friends back back in middle school lost their virginity to the same girl
You: whoa
Stranger: So like I your brother said, he knows what guys want
Stranger: When I mean a lot I mean like 3
You: damn
Stranger: Idk, I just don't like the idea of my mans being with the same girl as me
Stranger: I've always been like that
You: yeah i get you
Stranger: I'm glad you're close to your brother I'm not close to my older brother
You: ah what about your other siblings?
Stranger: Closer but not super close
Stranger: I kinda keep to myself now
You: yeah im close with him in one sense, but theres a lot i cant talk to him about
You: ahh i feels
Stranger: Yeah, like when I was 15, I stopped talking to a lot of people
Stranger: Depression hit me hard
You: shit :/
Stranger: Yeah, shit can be tough especially if you don't talk to people
Stranger: Just a fyi, if you have issues find someone to talk to
You: yeah definitely
Stranger: But be careful because some people will use it against you
You: yeah ive always been a closed book
You: especially females!!
You: they love having dirt on somebody
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: That's how my umm relationship at 15 ended
Stranger: I told her what was going on and she told the whole school and stuff
You: wow wtf
Stranger: It was really bad because I was umm sent away for a little
You: jesus
Stranger: Yeah I was out for like two weeks
Stranger: 3 days at the hospital then about a little more than a week at the facility
You: ahh shit :c
Stranger: After that I didn't really trust anyone
Stranger: Tbh I only just started talking to people about my problems
You: yeah i get what that feels like people have broken my trust a lot growing up
You: yeah same really
You: I was forced into counselling and i hating going at first
You: my counsellor saw i hated talking to people so she encouraged me to talk to a friend
Stranger: The person I had listening, I didn't really like her do I stopped going
Stranger: So*
You: and this friend i knew i could trust so i told her a lot
Stranger: That's good
Stranger: I grew away from my best friend
You: Yeahh it felt really unnatural so i just prefered talking to someone close
Stranger: There's just some things I can't tell him
You: Yeah i get you
You: I was scared i would drive her away if i told her certain things
Stranger: Idk I want to tell someone but I don't trust anyone
You: but i still told her a lot
Stranger: It's not about driving them away
You: someone in the family maybe?
Stranger: Its about them telling the person
Stranger: I told you how I'm not close to my brother but we have a lot in common and he's closer to the family than me
Stranger: So I can't really vent to my uncles or cousins
You: right
You: ermm
You: the things you wanted to talk abiout
You: is it something that can be used against you in a way?
Stranger: Sort of
Stranger: It's more or less like I'll say something then they'll bring stuff to just destroy my character and stuff
Stranger: The way we talk is people get really defensive and start attacking you if they don't like what you have to say
You: ah i understand
You: thats a shitty position to be in :c
Stranger: Yeah, I can't tell any of my online friends either because I don't want people to think different of me if they know I tried to commit suicide
Stranger: One of the people in the community I love knows because she was one of the first people I told
You: damn
Stranger: But she told her bf back in the day and he sent me a lot of hurtful messages
You: people can be really ignorant about these kinds of things so i get its hard to talk about
You: what the fuck
You: thats so messed up smh :(
Stranger: It was like 3ish years ago but I still remember it
Stranger: He isn't with her anymore but when I do end up talking to her, my stomach sinks so much
Stranger: And my heart beats really fast
You: crap
You: have you spoken to her about that?
Stranger: Honestly just thinking about her just makes me nervous, not really very briefly
Stranger: It was just catching up and she has changed as a person and I'm just scared tbh
You: ahh damn
Stranger: Honestly, this is the biggest reason why I don't feel motivated. This is why I need inspiration
You: what specifically
Stranger: The fact that she knows that I tried to commit suicide and like I said I want to play a bigger part of the community and she streams occasionally and I don't want the community to know. Because I know I'll get a lot of messages and stuff
Stranger: Hate stands out a lot more than support
You: ahh definitely i feel that
Stranger: It makes me really nervous
You: what do you think would help?
Stranger: I don't know
Stranger: I over think as well
Stranger: Like idk one of my good friends I've been playing with for a year straight kinda did some lame shit so
Stranger: I'm not really trusting anyone
You: ah damn
Stranger: We umm got into some illegal activities and he liked about something and it was something big
Stranger: So I don't know how much he'll do to make the like true even if it means one of us will get sent away to prison
Stranger: Lie
You: ohh shit
Stranger: Yeah, so I haven't talked to that guy in like 3 weeks or so
Stranger: So I'm on edge and don't trust anyone
You: thats understandable
You: given everything thats happened
Stranger: Thanks for listening
Stranger: Even tho I don't have solutions for everything I will try to talk to people a little more so I can be a bit more friendly
You: Thank you too stranger this has been quite a good talk
You: and i never do this kind of thing lol
Stranger: Oh?
Stranger: What do you usually do
You: Nothing really I just swim around in my thoughts
Stranger: Aww
Stranger: I wouldn't mind listening to some thoughts (:
You: Like I know there is a certain person I can trust but I hate worrying people or burdening them with my problems
You: ahh I appreciate that
You: I don't even know where to begin haha
Stranger: It's cool just say whatever's on your mind
You: Okay just so you get a better understanding I'll tell you a bit about me lol
Stranger: I'm all ears
You: Right so ill just start to when I was around 10 years old
You: I always felt different and I was quite isolated from people because of it
You: like i didnt really have friends because the ones I had ended up hating me or breaking my trust or some dumb shit
Stranger: What made you feel different? Anything in particular?
You: and I got bullied for like a year
Stranger: Ahh
You: Uhh well
You: I thought differently to everyone else
You: Like
You: everyone was so much more willing to be ignorant about things just because it made them happier
Stranger: Definitely, I know how dumb people can be
You: And everyone around me would be after small meaningless things and I felt like I always thought big
You: idk what im saying hahah but yeah people pretty much thought I was a weirdo and i got bullied for it
Stranger: A lot of people miss the big picture
Stranger: I never really got bullied
You: so when i was 11 i had my first real real friends
Stranger: A little name calling here and there
You: yeah it really sucked im glad it didnt last too long
Stranger: What we're their names?
Stranger: That's nice
You: hahaha
Stranger: Were
You: I really don't remember now I left that school
Stranger: Awww
Stranger: One of my old best friends was cody
You: ohh you mean my friends
Stranger: He was a goofy kid
Stranger: Yeah silly
You: soz im so sleep deprived i read it wrong hahah
Stranger: It's okay
You: Well there was three of us
You: crystal, danielle and tamanna
You: them three*
You: and there was me
You: so it was a small friendship circle and i was friends with them from ages 11, 12, 13, 14
You: like there was additions to the group but i wont say much about them
Stranger: I feel that we all got our groups
You: but during these few years i was still that same weird different kid
You: but I suppressed that and acted like somebody else so I would have friends
Stranger: I sort of did the same thing
You: and yeah these friends weren't great, they lied a lot, said a lot about eachother (including me) behind eachothers back, spread rumours, told secrets
You: so I knew i couldnt trust them with the things i was thinking or whatnot
Stranger: Yeah, it's tough finding trustworthy people at that age
Stranger: You gotta find them before all that
Stranger: Hormones can do a lot to mess things up
You: so yeah, 14 years old was when I was really down about it, I felt lonely all the time because I was constantly stuck in my own thoughts
You: yeahh definitely
Stranger: Did you think about the same things
You: So I would spend a lot of time on my own which was the biggest mistake lol
You: pretty much yeah but
Stranger: Definitely
You: there was a lot i was thinking about
Stranger: Like what
You: Ahh things about people, things about like, our purpose
You: it got really unhealthy i guess
You: life**
You: i guess i asked a lot of questions which couldn''t be answered
Stranger: When I was younger I always knew what I wanted in life
You: ahh really?
Stranger: Yeah, it's kinda silly and a lot of people think it's lame but my friends and I all wanted to become pro players
You: ah thats sick
Stranger: That was back in the day 6ish years ago
You: its not silly at all
Stranger: It is, in the sense that it's a lot of work and a lot of people don't make it
You: True but, its good to have dreams and ambitions
You: something to work towards
Stranger: Most definitely but people need a back up plan
You: Yeah definitely
Stranger: What did you want
Stranger: Like in life
You: I never knew to be honest
You: generally I wanted to help or inspire people
You: but never knew specifically what
Stranger: I'm sure there's something that'll bring you in (:
You: but that all went to shit when i got olde rhahah
You: yeahh I'm waiting for it :)
Stranger: I'm sure you'll get the passion back and start caring again
You: I hope so
Stranger: Sometimes when I need motivation I watch some videos of people I look up to
You: Theres other things I need to fix first before that can happen
Stranger: For sure
You: ah thats nice
Stranger: Work on yourself before helping others
You: Yeah I know that I should but
You: idk i never really felt worth the effort I always thought everyone else was more important
You: second biggest mistake lol
Stranger: I feel that
Stranger: I was actually failing a lot of classes because I spent all my time helping others and not doing my own work
Stranger: So I just cheated on all my paperwork with friends
You: ah wow
You: damn
Stranger: That was middle school tho
Stranger: Can't do that in highschool
Stranger: You'll get into serious trouble
You: yeahh
You: its kind of like that here
Stranger: Academic dishonesty is a big issue
You: slightly different system
Stranger: Especially if you want to get into a big school
You: but theres mostly exam papers
You: oh yeah 100%
Stranger: Yeah
You: ahh I have such little time to fix up though
You: like last year I was really stupid
Stranger: Why
You: and the year before hahah
Stranger: What did you do
You: ahh lets see
You: so
You: when I was 14 I just fell into a deep hole of bullshit and stupidity and got into the habit of harming myself
You: and I left all of my old friends and found new, even worse friends
Stranger: I feel it, I did the same sort of
Stranger: Did they encourage your behavior?
You: but i "loved" them for the reason that we would smoke a lot of weed together
You: no nobody knew i hid it all the time
Stranger: Ahhh, yeah drugs are definitely something interesting
You: yeah definitely
Stranger: I don't think anyone who isn't there mentally should do drugs
You: dumbest thing I could have done in my situation as it was the only think I was relying on to make me even the slightest bit happy
You: yeah so true
Stranger: Happiness can be tricky
You: and then in that friendship group was this one guy who I wont go into much detail about but we were both mentally fucked up so we were just toxic together and fucked eachother up even more
Stranger: I did the same thing
You: and my mum found out about me harming myself so i was forced into counselling, my mum was getting panic attacks because of stressing about me
You: which made me feel shit so i started harming myself again
Stranger: Awww ):
You: and then at 15
You: is like one of the most important exams we do in the UK
Stranger: We do it at like 16-17
You: and basically i didnt really care much about life so I purposefully failed everything
Stranger: ):
You: here its 15-18
You: 17*
You: and then i left to go to a new school because i hated everyone there so im going there currently
You: and the most important exams
You: well the first year of it
You: are coming up
You: and yeah I'm still not in a really good place mentally
Stranger: Do you know why that is?
You: I don't smoke anymore but I rely on hurting myself wayy too much
You: I honestly do not, and ive thought about it a lot too :/
Stranger: Is it what happened in the past?
You: i think its just many small things that just add up
You: maybe
You: this is weird but recently like im remembering stuff from my childhood that I had completely forgotten about
Stranger: Yeah, something like happens to me
Stranger: It's just weird dreams of the past
You: yeahh me too
Stranger: A lot of it is middle school stuff like dances and stuff
Stranger: Like dates and what not
You: ahh
You: for me its like when i was really really young
You: but idk because these memories seem really bizarre that im wondering if im somehow making some of them up
You: one of them which I know is true is the first time that my dad hit my mum
You: he never did again but
You: I dont know why im remembering it now
Stranger: That's good
Stranger: Umm I'm not sure tbh
Stranger: Do you believe in like the guy feeling and stuff?
Stranger: Guy
Stranger: Gut*
You: sometimes i guess
You: actually yeah
Stranger: Maybe something is going to happen
Stranger: I believe in it, a few weeks back I felt weird and stuff and then it came true
Stranger: Hopefully nothing bad happens
You: hm
You: yeah hopefully
You: idk thats not the feeling i get from this
Stranger: What do you get?
You: its more like me just remembering a bunch of shit i forced myself to forget
Stranger: Ahhh
You: but i just dont understand why im remebering now
You: of all times lol
Stranger: Maybe something that happened triggered that memory?
You: i dont really know
You: like sometimes its in dreams
You: sometimes ill just be daydreaming in class and remember something vividly
You: weird shit lol
Stranger: Nah I feel that too
Stranger: I was always in iss so I day dreamed a lot
You: i know a lot of people say that like things that happen in your childhood affect you when your older
Stranger: Yeah definitely
You: but would it still affect me even if i didnt remember them?
You: cos like some of it makes sense
Stranger: Yes I'm sure it would
You: when i think of these new found memories lol
Stranger: It's hard to explain over text but yeah definitely
You: yeah i getchu haha
You: but uhh yeah, theres a lot i need to change in my life lol
Stranger: Start small, silly
You: where do you even start lmao
Stranger: Ummmmm
Stranger: So how is your studying? Good bad?
You: terrible i dont even study haha
You: im basically doing what i did last year
You: i just have no motivation for it i guess
Stranger: But your future silly
Stranger: Don't you wanna help people?
You: yeah i stopped thinking about that a while ago
You: oh yeah i was gonna talk about taht
You: so uh
Stranger: Help yourself
You: Yeah like last summer
Stranger: GET AN EDUCATION SO YOU CAN GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT
You: lmaooo
Stranger: I just want you to do something you enjoy
Stranger: And not be stuck with something you hate
Stranger: Passion matters a lot
Stranger: And I'm sure there's some guy that'll love that you do that stuff 😉
Stranger: You'll be a major guy magnet
You: But yeah a little before summer one of my friends killed herself because of the guy I used to date (the toxic relationship guy) and it just showed me how different people are to how they actually seem. I basically started hating people and became a selfish prick and drove myself a bit crazy until one of my friends metaphorically slapped me in the face and woke me up. The hatred lasted for a few months maybe
You: i agree i still need to think about what i want i guess
Stranger: Try some programs, clubs or something (:
Stranger: Hobbies are always nice to have
You: yeah id just rather do hobbies alone than with people
Stranger: My friend went through the same thing sort of
You: i still sort of hate most people hahah
Stranger: I feel that
You: its weird but because of that i feel like i can read people and i know exactly what someones intentions are
You: which is stupid but
Stranger: Yeah some people feel that way
You: yeah i always think that everyones a fake
Stranger: My brother feels that way and I hate him
You: so it makes it hard for me to get along with people
You: yeah its really stupid i need to learn to trust people
Stranger: It takes a while but people's true colors come out
Stranger: Start small, work your way up
Stranger: <(^~^<)
You: yah i should
You: i need to do some serious soul searching hahah
Stranger: Yeah, I wish I could help, but I always knew what I wanted
Stranger: I'm sure you'll find yourself
You: ahh well you've been a huge help just by listening
You: ive said stuff ive never said before to someone so
You: its been really helpful thanks stranger :)
Stranger: Listen, at the end of the day it's whatever you want
Stranger: We can leave things here if you want
Stranger: Just remember to take care of yourself
Stranger: And please don't hurt yourself
You: ahh well small steps remember
Stranger: Life is beautiful
Stranger: Oh shush
You: hahaha
Stranger: See you around (probably not tho)- J
Stranger has disconnected.
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wanderrlust0 · 2 years ago
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first meal of the day at like 11:30pm and i tried wingstops chicken burger for the first time.
it was the spicy korean one and it was decent. it was more like a bbq sauce flavor but it was nice bc it was saucy. also tried some of the lemon pepper chicken burger and that was good too. that one felt more like an original chicken burger flavor since it didnt have all the sauce on it. their fries are so unique like i just realized they put sugar on them and thats why they taste sweet but i like it. now im full and tired but not tired; my body is tired. wasnt expecting to but i cried a little today and i did it in front of my bf. i can count on one hand the amount of times he’s seen me cry in person. i just feel like my body doesnt allow me to cry easily in front of people except one person. so yeah that happened while we were cuddling and just talking about parts of my life that is a sensitive topic for me. i didnt think it was but the more that it has come up in discussion, ive realized that it just makes me wanna cry and i’ll typically just fight back tears and hold it in. im also really bad when it comes to expressing the thoughts that i try to forget about or avoid sharing bc i feel like im trauma dumping. my bf helps me sort of break out of that mindset and to let things out. its still hard for me tho and i always feel choked up when i talk about situations and feelings i keep hidden. i also dont like making eye contact when its deep, vulnerable convos like that. ive always been kind of weird with eye contact. sometimes im still making sure that i keep eye contact with whoever im having a convo with. mostly if they keep looking at me i feel like i need to look at them back ofc & then sometimes my mind starts wandering bc im thinking about if my eye contact is too strong. if i look weird. if they can tell that i feel forced to look back. obviously this is more so for people im not friends with bc ofc im fine with friends but yeah. i always break away eye contact to feel more comfortable and so i feel less stared at, especially when me and my bf get into more serious talks. they know im reserved and stuff. idk, lately life keeps giving me highs and lows. as soon as something good happens its like okay something bad will happen soon. it always does. theres always something new. i literally just wanna feel like my life is normal. be as independent as my friends. have normal family relationships like my bf. not feel behind in life. feel successful and healthy. i feel like ive developed abandonment issues over time. i worry about the thought of losing my bf in my life. not in a codependent way but in a way where my life will just drop in serotonin. in recent past, when ive made him upset and he confronts me about it, it always made me scared in the moment that i could lose the one person who literally loves me the most. i mean he like loves loves me and it shows. i honestly still have moments where i’ll get insecure over things like if they mention another girl i’ll overthink and worry or whatever or i’ll wonder if they miss people from their past. i feel like thats normal tho maybe. i wanna cry again. as i was getting ready for work i was seriously saying to myself that i just want to cryyy right now and there i am, hours later, quietly crying in his bed. then about another hour later were just fucking lolol. so he mentioned androgyny and opinions on what i think he can do to look like that. that surprised me a bit but just a bit. i had no problem with it anyways. i think androgynous people are really attractive. i already like guys with femininity soo.. and ugh if theyre partly emo or looks like a pretty male and could prob be a twink lol and they have piercings or tattoos i. am. interested. completely random but my sex drive has been kind of on and off. i also kind of sort of want to get a sex toy. i dont own any rn so i want to try one. i also think it could help make me feel a little more pleasured in bed and thats a whole long separate topic. i shouldve taken melatonin but maybe i’ll get more sleepy soon and i can sleep in so its fine. didnt think id write this much but its been a while since i have // 10.8.22
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cheerisuu · 5 years ago
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saturday
Actually its 1:51 AM on a Sunday——
I’ve realised the internet does give you a dark place for your emotions to cluster. And what’s difficult is that it’s mostly in the same type of social media. On Facebook you’d be sad for a second seeing a post on a seacreature such as sharks or whales being washed upon the shores of who knows where due to the earth dying. Next minute you’re viewing memes whether it’s by the kalokohan made by the Filipinos or just some random shit somewhere else around the world. Instagram on the other hand, makes you feel cautious about who really is interested in your life’s stories. Me as someone who is very anxious about anyone would easily overthink or overmean stuff. But that varies among different personalities. On Twitter, you get to see different people’s emotions from ups to downs. What made me start writing tonight is because i saw a previous school mate of mine post a video about her current relationship that’s all cuddles and kisses and chilling,expressing their love for each other and how in to her that guy was, knowing damn well that girl i knew was bashed beforehand due to her confused sexuality, eating disorders, and the various rumours about boys and backlash that was surrounding her; she managed to smile and eventually have that special someone that was open to accept her flaws no matter who she was.
Now, im not saying that openness should vary whether you know all about the truth of the person or not, im saying this type of openness should be accompanied by trust and faithfulness that you are about to partake in the responsibility of someone’s feelings, anxiety, and emotions. Even if you’re not knowing every single detail of the person’s life. What matters most is you base your love on how they grew up. Because not everyone was raised on love. That’s why we see some individuals having trouble on how to love a person properly because we don’t see the damage that was administered by their past.
The past days that i have been down i came to realise, I was indeed pressured about not losing the person i loved. In fact, i still do love that person with all of my heart (and hypothalamus if you want to get scientific) but i was too busy focused on what i wanted for US, that i wasn’t paying attention to the little details about what he was trying to say. I know he isn’t good with words and it was my fault that i kept on looking forward not giving light to our present. I miss him every day that comes by. Not just physically but emotionally. You know, it’s really different when you have someone to talk to about your day, how it was going, someone who updates you when you aren’t asking. It just feels good that you know you are still thought of even when you are not constantly talking right? Or is it just me.. well, if it is just me, then i can just keep it to myself and admire from the distance just by him being online, him replying to whatever random topic i ask about him or tell something or even just being left on read. The simple things get simpler, and simpler, as each hour passes on. Even getting him from viewing my stories becomes a struggle sometimes cause it’s just one tap away on our convo but it still doesnt happen. :<
I was laughing for myself today and it has been a while. I took a video of this clip from CongTV that made me admire my own laugh and made me thought “So this is what i sound like when im not sad.” It’s not bad afterall. Although the thought of him comes to mind because he’s the one who usually watches this and the commentary on the video is really loud which makes me recognize it more. But i just simply enjoy the laugh i had and just thank him for letting me be interested in these jackass channels lol. I also covered a chorus by a song he introduced me to, “Lie To Me” by 5 Seconds of Summer. I tried covering Scars by James Bay (beautiful song btw) but I couldn’t risk my confidence cause I mess up alot when im nervous and i might come off as someone bragging (char rajug hawod oy) but i just think like that i guess. I’m the lowkey-type in other words. Being low-key also reminds of one of his traits. He is really good at a few things: we’re almost exactly the same and sometimes opposite. We’re your Jack Of All Trades, except that he really excels in Math and Basketball. Anyways, i tried getting his attention by chatting him a few times to look at my story. I posted it on Twitter but I wasn’t comfortable enough to put it up that long so, i guess 24 hours is alright. Hopefully in the morning he can go check it out? Im too enthusiastic about this (maybe a lot of things) and that’s just one of the traits i have that he has a problem with. But we’re not here to talk about problems, for now.
To cut this short, let’s just say im still adjusting to how our communication has been lessened which i feel like im just one of his “girl-chat nominees”. That label might have sounded harsh but i still can’t get over the feeling i had when i knew he was chatting with that She. Still grinds my gears. But if i just trust a little longer on how this goes up, then im sure it won’t be a problem. Right? Right. I’ve realised alot in a day, really. Some things dont just end up the way you want it to be and i really miss having this “happy pill” so you call it, that “virtual serotonin” that you know can cheer you up just by them talking to you and messing around with them.
I love you and i miss you every day,
but i think I’ll have to wait around and see how this plays,
whatever it takes.
0 notes
soulcrowvi · 8 years ago
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40 questions because why not.
1.do you prefer to shower when you wake up or before you go to sleep?. Can I have both? I like to shower in the morning because I can clean off any  sweat I may have produced when I slept and it also helps me start my day. Before bed helps me unwind and clean off the germs of the day… but I may sweat in the middle of the night… hmmmmm I guess morning showers LOL 
2. does it bother you to sleep with the lights on. Yes, I really cant sleep with any type of light in the room. I always find myself waking up if I see light.
3. cigarettes, marijuana, or neither? Neither fam.  
4. beer, liquor, or neither? Liquor, I hate the taste of beer 5. what is the biggest impact you hope to make throughout your lifetime?  Probably being able to help someone with their journey get through the darkness of mental diseases. This is a part of the reason why i want to go into the field of psychiatry.  
6. what’s your favourite movie genres.  Uhhh, romantic comedies, animation, horror, fantasy, and anime (if that’s a thing) 7. puns or dirty jokes? Dirty jokes boiiiii. My pun game needs work 8. bubble bath, bath bomb, or bath salts. Probably bubble bath. I haven’t tried the other two. 9. you wake up to find you’ve traded places with a celebrity – who is it? Hmmm I don’t pay too much attention to many celebrities lives so I cant really answer 10. you wake up to find you’ve traded places with a fictional character – who is it? Probably Monkey D. Luffy from one piece. Hes always carefree, does what he wants, eats all day, goes on these dope adventures with his crew and will beat someone’s ass if they step to him wrong. I wouldn’t mind living a life like that for a day or two. Although Zoro is my favorite character I prefer luffys lifestyle a little more.
11. what are you wearing? A grey shirt and blue joggers? WHY YOU NEED TO KNOW HUH? 12. what is your earliest memory?. Crawling on my mom’s bed and she picking me up with a big smile while making  some kind of going up sound. I know I was a baby because even to this day she does that when she plays with other small children.   13. moon or stars? Stars because I like to lay down and count them. Also having sex under the stars is on my bucket list LOLOL 14. sunrise or sunset?. Sunrise.  I love the crisp air and quiet atmosphere of everything being asleep.  During times like that it feels the world is at a stand-still and I can take a second and breathe maybe even go for a jog. Oh and you cant forget the colors of the sky: they so purrrrdy . 15. what’s the best present you’ve ever received? The gift of life boiiiiii. Nah but for a material gift, I hate to say this but, probably a hand written piece of poetry my ex gave me. It a cheesy love poem that made my heart flutter at time. no one has ever done something that for me before so it was something special.  I haven’t looked at it in years and don’t plan on doing it any time soon. That bridge was burned  many years ago cuz fuck my ex lmaooo 
16. what’s your favourite scent? Vanilla or lavender. I use to use candles with those scents as a way to calm myself during a time of depression. In a sense, I associate them both with calmness 17. what do you think about when you need to be in a calm state of mind?  Thinking of myself as a flowing river. This concept came to me after witnessing a small stream on street carry away a twig during the rain. The way I saw it was that twig representing a problem of any sort and the water being my conscious. Basically my conscious developed the habit of analyzing the given problem and determines if it needs to be addressed now, later, or not even be addressed at all. It’s a way I practice mindfulness lol 18. what do you think about when you need motivation? “I know I can fucking do this, so let me stop being a bum and do it” sounds a little harsh but that’s how I get myself moving lmaoo
19. list 5 things you like most about yourself.
My personality
The melanin in ma skin
Dance abilities
Being able to push through most of my anxiety and depression
Kinky af 20. do you have many friends or do you prefer to keep a close circle? I have a small circle of true friends mostly because I dread small talk with new people because ive never been too interested in it with strangers and you know small talk is the best way to start friendships soooooo. I can say this though I have a large number of acquaintances and I probably wouldn’t mind building deeper friendships with them. 21. if you had the chance to be immortal exactly as you are now, would you take that opportunity? Although it’s a tempting offer, im going to say nah to immortality.  Sure, it would be nice to witness how the rest of history will unfold and being able to live forever but it comes at a high cost. The cost being that youll out live everything and everyone you love and cherish. Plus there will come a time when everything ends and you’ll be the only one left, wandering endlessly in the hallowed shell of what you once called home…. That got dark LOL #PessimismOnFleek
22. what do you think of when you wake up? I think of three things in this order:
“….need food”
“I wonder how kn is doing”
“what the fuck do I need to do today?”
23. what’s your favourite word? Breathe. This word helps me calm and recollect myself in time of anxiety and also allows me to take a second and appreciate life.   24. if you could change your name, what would you change it to? I would keep my name the same, I love it actually lmaooo
25. what would your name be if you were the opposite/another gender?  I asked my mom about this before and apparently I would have been a Diana lmaooo 26. turn ons? I have turn ons for both physical and personality
Physical: freckles or small moles on the face. Glasses (bring yo blind ass here girlll) a nice warm smile, long hair although I don’t mind short hair. Ticklish. Has a nice style
Personality: Really kindhearted, loves animals, willing to sit down and talk about finding a solution to our problem if we fight, motivated by a dream,  passionate about her craft or hobby, doesn’t mind carrying the convo at times, is comfortable with silence at times. Knowledgeable about things she finds interesting, does little things for me like buying me my favorite snack as a surprise for when she sees me.  Is comfortable with my level of kinkiness and sexual expression through words. Keeps up with and feeds off my dark, sexual, awkward humor. Not afraid to speak her mind.
27. turn offs? A girl that tries to have “the best of both worlds” basically flirting with multiple dudes at once. Has a history of cheating.  Completely selfish(only concerned with what I can offer her and no “what can I do for them”). The “im fine” text when we both KNOW something is wrong. Goes ghost out of nowhere. Liars. thinks relationships are temporary  and not looking for something long term (I hate wasting time). Treating other people like shit, fake (talks shit about someone then next thing you know they’re the best of  friends) entertains other dudes KNOWING damn well they have a thing for her.  Says “My feelings changed” (three words I despise)
28. kinks? Bondage, neck bites, ear nibbles, lip biting while kissing, biting any part of my body really lmao.(those three areas will rev me up real quick ) letting me pull her hair, licking/ kissing random spots on her body. heaving breathing….lots of it pls. dark colored knee socks/thigh highs if she wears those.. LAWDDDDD *nose bleed*(this could be a slight fetish).  Lap dances and strip teases (both combined as well)   29. what’s your “type”? Uhhh, never really had to think about it until now but glasses, long hair, older, the “social butterfly that’s lowkey and introvert” woke, wants to help me grow, supportive, caring will call me out on my shit, intelligent, high ass gpa (why is that relevant? Idk )
30. give a piece of advice. Everything happens for a reason. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, certain things occur in your life as a way to prepare you for the future, teach you something about yourself, or aid in your growth. You just have to stop and look at the positive in the situation. 31. do you fear death? Nah, but I do want to live my live to the fullest and live to be at least 96.   32. do you believe there is anything that exists after death? Ive juggled the idea around in my head and, similar to the person I snagged this questionnaire from, I definitely  love the idea of reuniting with lost loved ones in some kind of after live. I also like to believe reincarnation is a thing only because it would be dope to die and come back as a giant octopus lmaoooo, but seriously the idea of coming back to life as a different creature is fascinating 33. what expectations do you set for yourself? do you live up to them? Honesty, trying my best at whatever I do, always stay true to myself,  not being pressured ny others. I think I live up to these pretty well but recently ive decided to stop being passive of things that bother me so I guess im still working on that 34. are you a good friend? would you want to be friends with the type of friend that you are? I think im a pretty good friend. Im always down to listen and support my friends with whatever their endeavors may be. Im very chill, understanding, and mature so you don’t have to worry about me  creating drama of any sort. Yeah I would befriend myself if possible 35. dinosaurs or space? Dinosaurs because I’ve always found archaeology to be interesting and I actually love learning about history. I loved T-rexes ever since the first Jurassic park  film I saw. 36. do you believe in aliens?  If we as a species could evolve from particles who’s to say creatures on a distant planet couldn’t do the same? So I guess you could say I don’t deny the existence of them. 37. do you believe in ghosts? Not really but you’ll never catch me messing with an oujia board or casually exploring a proclaimed haunted house. Aint nobody got time for that (similar to the previous question I don’t deny their existence) 38. describe your style? Uses a LOT of dark colors. Its very simple and classy but nothing over the top. I love to wear beaded bracelets because I like fidgeting with them when im bored or anxious. Oh I like flannels as well. Idk if that paints a decent picture lmao 39. send me your name, I’ll post what I think your aesthetic would be. Bish whet? 40. post a photo of yourself? Look at my tumblr default lmao
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weasterned · 7 years ago
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Shannon Arreum.
1. Syanon-ie is kiiind, one of the toughest girl I’ve ever met, funny, friendly, she cares her surroundings and so heart-warming ! ♡ 2. Honestly there are nothing to be fixed about, she did good already ! Even until her fc’s updates, she did very well ~ ♡ 3. Syanon-ieee ! ! Christmas is near, 2018 is near ! Time when we turned 21 o   v   o ♡ I hope we will be a goood friends ! Since I do adore you a lot, my tough chingu ! I hope you’ll receive happiness from the whole universe because you deserve it— ! Me loooves you ♡
1. coin, berisik kaya group chat, bulliable, always listening and always understanding like prudential 🤗 2. she doesn’t need to improve anything,  but she needs to find a boyfie 3. honestly shan is one of my best, she’s been there in my good and bad moments💖 she’s the best person everrrr !!!! she was always there to hear me out and support me in anything!❤️ wouldn’t replace her for the world 😘 I love shan with all my heart and she knows she can always count on me. i feel sorry that I haven’t been acting my best at all. I can’t believe I’m able to write this. I cringe.
1. Kind, Cute, Portrays her chara well, talkative. 2. Shan, semoga kita bisa ngobrol lebih banyak lagi. Aku kangen bahas Smash sama XO-IX kaya waktu kita pertama kenal. Maaf ya Shan, sekarang aku sibuk banget jadi sering hilang. Iya aku hilang lagi bertapa di Dormitory SMASH, mau ngelobi Rafael buat kasih kamu fanservice. Myane, aku tau bias kamu Bisma. Okay, I want us to get closer more and more, modus nde ? ? ? 3. 2017 sudah mai berakhir. Ga kerasa ya? Hmm.. sudah berapa bulan kita kenal? :D udah lama ya? Tapi tuh aku betulan MIA terus. Ya tell me how to deal with my job dong. Hehe. I wish you to have a great year ahead! Lets be friend in 2018!
1) Cutie, kind, energetic, loud and fun! 2) I wish that this person stay just as she is now and I hope we could talk a lot more because we didn’t talk that often now :’( 3) Hi, Shannon! Thanks for being a part of my 2017. Ayo, lanjutin sampai tahun selanjutnya? I love you. Have a wonderful year-end holiday! 4) I can’t say anything bad for this person so I want to emphasize #2 here ;)
#1 - Cute - Kind - Warm - Unexpectedly quite loud - Lovable #2 Seems like Shan’s currently busy and rarely interact with members. I hope she will comeback soon and talk more soon!💓 #3 Hello, Shan Shanie! It’s so good to talk with you not too long ago! You’re such a cutie person. A sweet heart. You are kind as well. I remember you always loves to share your foods or else with the members. I would really love to get more closer to you! I hope we can talk comfortably without awkwardness. Love❤
lovely, kind, cheerful, cute, food supplier
1. Warm, kind, cutie, attractive, pwetty! 2. Talk with me more often huhu I miss you! 3. Letters.. uh.. I’m not smart with words but yeah, here we go. You’re the only one Shannon in my timeline. You often update your chara, good job! And you’re so humble! Not like me, such a potato. :( cUTIIEEEEEE me want to squish your cheeks. Mhehe, enjoy your xmas and new year!
1. cute, humble, so damn nice omg just- nice nice nice 2. you don’t need to improve everything, i just want your foods .knojk I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I MISS YOU, YOU GET THE HYPE FROM MEH BUBU 3. Dear shannon moi food provider, i just want you to know that im enjoying talking with you even tho im so bad at handling mentions, but i do miss talking a lot with you .. lets get mooooore closer in the future, shall we?
1. Shann brights like a diamond. Shann brights like a diamond. 2. Be more positive and keep being happy! 3. Please enjoy the rest of the year and get your goal!
1. Good, friendly, bright, cute, funny 2. Hm.. You’re all good. Keep it up. 3. Hello, pwetty Shannon. 2017 is gonna end soon and 2018 is coming soon. I’m grateful to know a good person like you. You’re a good friend. A good person to have conversation with.. I hope we could be a good friend for long long time. Stay warm on the winter! pretty, actually we haven’t talked each other but i guess she’s kind person. Let’s have a chit chat with this giant guy, i won’t bite u don’t worry. She’s cute, nice, and funny people
1. Shann is a humble, kind, cheerful, cute yet pretty indeed. suka bagi2 makanan, nggak pelit even sometimes being so ngeselin lol. 2. She is potrayed as Shannon well, so maybe there’s not much to change her character. 3. Hope we’ll keep our nice convo, stay being nice to people. And i hope we can get more memories as a friend in the future!
1. kinda funny, random, cheerful, kind, caring 2. I hope she will always stay happy and random because from what i see she’s like vitamin for some members 3. Hello, shan! since 2017 is coming to an end soon, i want to say please always take care of your health! I saw your tweet about having sleep problem, if i’m not mistaken? you need to get your proper rest! because health is the number 1! and also i hope you will always be happy! Fighting!Lil sissy who is always so cheerful. She is such a hppy pill that makes me happy too whenever i talk to her. SHAN YOU DA BEST
1. hyperactive, cheerful, kind, cute, nice 2. i’m bad at this but well.. i hope she can keep having a good convo with all member and with me too. 3. hello shann, its nice to see you! i forgot the food that you send to me when i’m just arrived at wst. but i hope you can send me another food again next time! pssst- its almost christmas tho- have a good one, shann!
1. Talkative, noisy (in a good way I swear), cute, lovely, funny. 2. Nothing. She’s that impressive. 3. Hello, Shanshine! Please enjoy the rest of 2017 happily.
1. bright, amber’s friend, friendly, open mind, i dont know that much since i just meet her 2. lets talk more with me 3. Marry christmas and happy new year, ah lets get more closer next year so we can have fun year together.
1. Childish, cute, playful, nice, funny. 2. Being more slay eventhough youre very young but you coulf slay as a woman i think hahaha 3. Dear shanon, i hope youre always healthy and happy despite any problems that youre facingI never talked to her so…I don’t know what to say about her. I am sure I included her in my greetings tweet but maybe she didn’t see it. And every time I saw her on timeline, she was talking with somebody else or replying mentions. So I didn’t have the chance to talk to her yet…but I hope we can talk and be friends in the future! To Shannon, Hello Shannon. Happy early new year! Hope 2018 will be a good year and let’s get closer too next year!
1. Kind, receh, berisik. (actually just like me 8"D). 2.  I see her became kinda less active huhu because we used to have many many convos before. We need to have more convo later, ofcourse! 3.hello, Shannie unnie my foOdie fairy also the one of receh-mate what else? Damn mimi video? Also india song tracks or maybe WESTLIFE!? since 2017 almost over which mean new year will bring a new hope also. Please stay healthy because the weather is not so good lately, keep warm. Xx Loves♡
1. Kind 2. Lets make a new conversation with jiejie♡ 3. Happy New Year Shannon , hope you will be happy everyday^^
1. SUPER KIND, my love, SUNSHINE, FOOD GIRL, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. 2. I don’t think there is things needing to be improve but perhaps online more? I miss you. 3. Hello, Shannon, or should I call you Shannie? Hi kid I’m sorry for not being online lately, and yes yes yes I do miss you! Thankyou for lighten up my world even though we’re not talking much lately. STAY COOl, xx. Have a great year in 2018!
1. Shannon is a brave girl, so kind, polite, pretty and has a good personality. 2. I think bcs she is a brave girl i have a little problem to get closer to her. Maybe she could toned down her braveness a bit so she could be way more approachable. 3. Idk what to write a letter for you. But i wish after 2017, we could be a good friends hehe. Please stay healthy and be happy always ♥️
1. - cute! - kind - loveable - adorable! - sexy! 2. keep on being a food supplier for us! i think i didn’t see you often on timeline, i miss seeing Shannon spreading a lot of foods >
1) humble, cheerful, lovable, adik-able, koin saram 2) no need to ehehe 3) shan shan my lil sist! we rarely talk recently… my fault tho because i rarely online :“ )  let’s talkeu talkeu with me again! atau perang koin juga boleh kok HUEHEHE + i hope 2018 will be much much better year for you! ✨Butt-lover,  crazy,  stupid,  but lovely,  funny. Shan you'ra SHAN!  hahaha my fluffy ball. Kadang kalem, kadang tidak😃. Tukang bagi2 makanan hehehehe. Ramah trus lucuukk. Tapi jarang keliatan euyy. Semoga kedepannya bs lebih deket lagi❤ Message: Satu tahun berasa cepet ya, kayaknya baru kemaren tahun baru sekarang udah mau tahun baru lagi aja. There are a lot of thing happened in 2017, ada yang menyenangkan dan ada yang menyedihkan. We’ve met a lot of people with different characters and each of them taught us something. Semoga di akhir tahun ini Shanon dilingkupi rasa bahagia selalu, dan apa yang belum tercapai di tahun 2017 bisa tercapai di tahun 2018♡Shannon-ieeee i still wait for the song that you’ll sing for meee and i want you to give me more of your derp face again :   p you’re cute and lovely, friendly and nice, have the cheerful vibe that makes someone beside you feel that tho/? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
1. She’s indeed a cute, warm, and kind person. We rarely talk each other and I feel bad though since I’m on hiatus period. 2. I really don’t know what to say, but keep up the good work. You portray your chara well. We should interact more in the future. 3. Happy new year! Santa claus is coming to town~ *chuckles* You should take a good care of yourself, keep smiling widely, and be happy as always.
1. Humble, always on(?), cute, attractive, pretty ; 2. We rarely talk these days, hope we can have a proper convo in the future! ; 3. Hello Shan, it’s nice to see you around here in WST. Please have a talk wimme in the future!
1. Crazy, Always Crazy, Friendly, Noisy, Humble, Sometimes weird LOL 2. Just be yourself! Change to be better person is a must and you can do it. don’t mind about haters, I love you! 3. Hey Shann. You must know who’s the most handsome in weast and its me! I bet you’ve know me already xD. 2017 is going to end and we’ve met for first time through weast since few months ago. Thank God that we be able to talk and get along well. and I think I got a chemistry everytime talking with you. Shann, please dont forget me! I’m your mama and you’re my daughter. Even though I’m rarely online and talk with you lately, but I always remember you! Just be yourself honey. You can do anything what do you want. Keep being friendly, be crazy, humble and ofcourse forever become my escape room buddy! Stay healthy Shann. and I hope you will not change your chara.
1. Nice, kind, amiable, talks a lot, kinda weird. 2. Be more active and lesser your alayness jsy 3. PLS ACTIVE MORE AND LETS MINGLE WELL. You are the reason why I come to wst ):
1. Cutie, not really talkative, not really active on timeline, rarely talk with everyone, a calm one 2. Maybe, be active on timeline, since we rarely talk though. 3. Shannon-ah, I want to talk more with you, but since you rarely active on timeline it’s kind of hard for me to do 8(
1. Baik 2. Humoris 3. Ramah 4. Lucu 5. Cantik Shannon, I don’t see you around nowadays so please appear because this oppa wants to see you. It’s 2018 soon so please comeback soon! I really miss you hahahahah. Let’s talk a lot more in the future, Shann.
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sey2017-blog · 7 years ago
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// August 29 2017
To describe the past week and a half? I would say... bipolar. 
I finally finished my first week of work. I met some really good people. David, the 29 year old artist/white guy, Jinny 22, Henny 23, Stella 23, JiHun 23, Jung Hyun 25 were all my mains this week. I had dinner with a girl named JunMin, which was fun and sometimes I walk to work with Mina when I run into her. People in Korea are really kind in terms of helping you out. Stella treats me like her own sister already and I’ve known her a week and a half. If I spill something on my shirt or have wrinkles on my shirt she would help me straighten it out, she introduced me to people that would be good to network with, put in a good word for me at work so I can work in my desired section, and gave me a lot of advice for work- opportunities that I need to take and how to do better than the other interns that are going to come. I JUST met her and she was bending her back doing things I wouldn’t even have thought to do for my acquaintances. She even showed me the best bathroom in the building to poop (without me even asking). She... is the definition of the real MVP. She also called me randomly and we chatted this weekend til 2AM. Jung Hyun Oppa also lent me his portable charger when I was going to fix my phone, tried to trouble shoot my phone, walks me to the station, gives me directions everywhere, etc. I slept over at Jinny’s house and she let me sleep in her bed alone, shower, and even made me breakfast after knowing me for a week. People are just really kind and feel like family fast in Korea as opposed to America where people need some time to become close. 
They are leaving this week and it will just be me and JiHun left for the interns....  I met SO many people! Last thursday I went to an event where all the interns of all offices gathered and talked to the ambassador. More people than I’d meet in a year in Eugene! I also saw this really handsome man that I saw last month but it turns out he works at the US embassy too. I realized I definitely like the dark hair dark eyes tan skin look. It makes me feel good that I met all these nice people and am excited for the interns that will be coming into our office. I also realized that I had been only hanging with people my own age for a long time, andd now that Im with a lot more people in their 20s, age is more negligible than  at other ages. Like how I can have good convos with the guy that’s 29 even though he’s 8 years older, as opposed to if I was 11 and he was 19. I’m going to take it as a true sign of being an adult. 
Working at an embassy is interesting. There is a lot of exclusivity. I can go into areas other people can’t because I have a badge, and I get to escort guests because they can’t go anywhere without an escort. But also, there are a lot of places I don’t have access too, like the Base. The base is where the american diplomats and their families live. I got to go to a party in the base two nights ago and it was interesting because when I mentioned going in the base, my fam/friends were shook and excited because not just anyone is allowed to go. I don’t know how I feel about this exclusivity thing. People are definitely NOT treated as equals, and I think that kind of bugs me. Also, it bothers me that kids of diplomats can just get jobs and get paid for it in the embassy just because they are the kids of the diplomats, while we are out here working for free. Jinny was complaining to me about having to go to work (she lives 10mins away and has a shuttle that takes her which would make it 4 minutes) and she gets paid and does less work, and I just told her to stop complaining. Also her sister was telling me how she works in the embassy and just naps and nobody notices (and she gets paid for it). Jinny joked about her and i skipping work the next day and the other interns said if Sey does that she will get fired!!! and Jinny said oh... I can’t get fired... cuz the Americans view me as their own kid messing up.... because they are also diplomats like my dad. I understand people come from different backgrounds,  but that just didn’t sit quite well with me and just bugs me. It doesn’t make sense that something that’s supposed to be so professional like diplomacy can be run that unfairly (from my point of view). I’m realizing that maybe it isn’t what I thought it was.
When I went to the intern lunch, I saw grad students that were 23, who had passed the FSO exam and would be going to DC in the fall to start their careers as diplomats. At that young age! I was so impressed. Also, listening to the ambassador’s story of travels, diplomacy, and experiencing different cultures, I realized what an important and meaningful job being a diplomat was and it made me more interested in becoming one. Being around people who have accomplished a lot and are going places makes me set my sights even higher and be excited for my career. 
I’ve also been very discouraged as well. My family got annoyed with me and thought I was being rude cuz i was cranky when I napped and didnt eat dinner, and they were passive aggressive with me for a couple days. They aren’t that interested in what I have to say about work, and always seem to be stuck in their own bubbles, which is fine. One night I didnt want to go home because I was annoyed at my fam and I just sat on the swings outside my apartment and had my alone time. I feel like I have to watch my actions at home and at work and can never truly be myself or have alone time. I havent had time to watch TV or my hobbies and even writing this is such a treat for me. I’ve teared up multiple times because I’m so drained from dealing with family, not having enough alone time, being so tired, and I have to take care of myself. It was fine doing it in eugene but here it’s discouraging because they wanted me to stay in this city instead of moving so they could take care of me and they havent been doing that that well. Sometimes they try. yesterday i treated myself at Daiso, an asian dollar tree and I bought stuff that I like and a cute bulletin board to remind me of people who I can be myself around. I put up messages from nomuna, jessy and brenda from nomuna’s birthday gift last year. It was a friendly reminder. 
My family is going on a vacation without me because i cant get the days off. They didnt even talk to me about it they just said... “can u get 11th off?” and i said hesitantly “uhhh....” and then the other aunt said “whatever she cant it’s whatever” so i think im going to be home alone. I got mad at mom last week cuz she wrote me 10 pages on how I should act around my family. She said dont just do ur dishes, do EVERYONE’s dishes. Dont be picky with food, say this to gma, act like this to this aunt, like that to this aunt, blablabla. I got mad at her because I already feel so uncomfortable living with family here because... they seem to care less about my work or day than even my friends back home. It’s just so weird that they are family but are less family than my friends and that’s just so uncomfortable to me and awkward. I was very open at first sharing my day but i can tell they don’t listen attentively and brush things i say off. they DO have their way of showing love, such as calling me when it’s raining LOL (which is useless like wtf r u gonna do by calling). I just miss being myself, and I miss being heard. 
I went to a party on Sunday and it was SUCH a blast!!! Koreans know how to have a good time. We played TONS of games and I won at most of them. :) I also realized how quiet I was compared to other people and thought to myself, “ i am so awkward in group settings”. 
Last friday, I went to Han river with the childhood friend. it was an AMAZING time. We sat on the grass and ate pizza and joked around and took pictures of the city and walked across the bridge of life / suicide bridge and read the quotes. He is probably the only one I truly 100% feel myself around in Korea, and I really like hanging out with him. 
There are also so many couples here. Couples kissing, couples hugging, couples in couple shirts, couple shoes, couple pants, couple hairstyles.... Too many couples. It makes me feel single and I aint even single. I miss bryan a lot too. I just miss having someone there to experience everything with me and knowing all my problems and asking how my day was in person. After being here, I am even more appreciative that I have someone who I can really truly be myself without having to filter myself. It makes me miss home, but in all honesty, I just miss the people.  
Also, I get fat shamed a lot here. By my gma, by a kid in an elevator, basically by random people like aunts too. And i hear a lot of other crap too sometimes, about my personality, about my habits, but fat shaming is the most prominent. The fact that i can hear that stuff and not give a flying f/laugh about it really has shown me i don’t care about what people say and am really confident in who I am, which I think is something good I realized. I truly believe that if you want to go far, you should not be able to let people’s opinions or judgments deter your belief in who you are.
It took a while to write this. But the point is, I miss my friends, but I’m making new ones, staying busy, having fun, trying to treat myself and love myself once in a while, and even if I can’t be myself most of the time, I really am trying to find some alternatives. These past weeks have been so eventful, so busy, and I am so blessed to meet so many good people and to be learning so much. <3 
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