#oh my god i'm so very sorry
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[PERC'ILDAN]
I united with my husband an we came here to hurt everyone. This is an art for his very angsty but beautiful fic. Basically it's Percy's death but make it Perc'ildan for it to hurt even MORE. Also Cassandra is there. Read it, don't be scared of cyrillic.
#liltaire's art#digital art#critical role#critrole#critical role fanart#tlovm#vox machina#the legend of vox machina#critical role tlovm#legend of vox machina#tlovm season 3#tlovm s3#tlovm spoilers#cw blood#cw death#percy x vax#perc'ildan#percildan#vax x percy#percy de rolo#percival de rolo#percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii#percival fredrickstein von musel de rolo iii#cr vax#cr percy#vaxildan#vax'ildan#oh my god i'm so very sorry#it H U R T S
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank#he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :')#he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated#but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING#drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay...#also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger.........#geno kept Hovering in concern#po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog#ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both#also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited#anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a#long post#sidney crosby#evgeni malkin#pittsburgh penguins#also!!! to all who celebrate#ramadan kareem/eid mubarak#<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good
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(Whit did, in fact, gaf, but he wasn't about to let anyone know that.)
#also known as: the beginning of 2-13 summarized#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt chapter 2 part 2 spoilers#whit young#levi fontana#fanganronpa#hello it's me putting whit in a meme again. i'm very predictable#trying to figure out how to mimic the class trial lighting was interesting. i think i got pretty close though#i wound up using a screenshot of the first canon dr class trial grounds instead bc i couldn't get a good screencap of the drdt one#but this is the one with the same color scheme as the real one so idk if anyone would even notice that if i didn't say#also this is very clearly inspired by the “nothing in life matters” meme if ya couldn't tell :D#my art#fanart#drdt spoilers#oh my god I just realized I tagged this as dis/venture camp and not drdt spoilers#I am so sorry dis/venture campers
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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This little interaction made me so happy! Killer really fought through Dream to give Cross his necklace back
Asjlkhdkgkd I'm so glad you liked it!! I had fun putting a little story into that one ^^
And, because I am normal and don't think about these guys for hours every day, here's some backstory:
When Cross first joined, Killer actually took to him pretty quickly (Dust and Horror did not get warm welcomes). Which is to say he immediately started flocking to Cross to annoy him and compete with him on missions. Cross didn't have the benefit of knowing Killer already to see these were affectionate annoyances, so to him Killer was just some guy who had a problem and wouldn't leave him alone.
During that mission, Nightmare was calling a retreat when he put a hand to his chest and realised the heart locket was gone. Killer saw him looking all around frantically and had a good idea what was lost, since it was the one thing Cross would absolutely not part with since he joined. So, Killer ran back out towards the stars to look for it, because why learn self preservation now. It was the first thing to convince Cross that Killer actually was being (relatively) friendly, despite all the annoyances.
And also, a doodle of the afterwards of that picture
because it's probably the only time he's managed to get Killer to shut up lol
#Ask#blinddreams24#Truce au#Thank you!!! I'm really genuinely so happy people like my silly little comic ^^#Sorry you got a whole dissertation in response I just like thinking about these two in particular lol#Cross's locket is very important to him he Does Not mess around when it comes to that thing#It also goes with my hc that Killer is lowkey touchstarved as hell#He has not had many hugs in his lifetime as Killer so the casual affection without having to taunt someone into a fight was game changing#Cross kind of became second in charge of watching for Killer's stages as they became friends#Also in Dream's defence he thought Killer was charging back in for round 2#When he just scooped up a necklace and ran off Dream felt bad for shooting but it was partly on Killer for searching with a knife out#Oh my god this is like an essay I'm so sorry I can't shut up about these guys#UTDR#UTMV
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toji with prompt 5 pretty please
( deadbeat dad /j. )
౨ৎ incl. toji fushiguro.
౨ৎ a/n. i KNOW what my bio says but i'm multifaceted. literally so in love with this deadbeat and i hope it shows.
The second time Toji ever felt love was when he looked into Tsumiki’s big, brown eyes for the first time.
Then the third came with a small head of black hair and the name he’d chosen long before he'd known whether his kid would be a boy or a girl: Megumi.
From then on, life was a journey for him.
Growing up, Tsumiki was much calmer than Megumi, who would fuss and cry at every little thing. His papa wouldn't read to him long enough? He'd bawl his eyes out. He couldn't reach the fridge handle because his legs were too stubby? Waterworks. His toy was missing after he'd been the one to misplace it? He'd throw a fit.
Toji would honestly curse himself for even thinking he could fall asleep for more than 20 minutes before his son would toddle into the room, promptly disturbing his dad's nap by pouncing onto his stomach or latching onto his arm.
You, however, found it pretty funny.
"Shit's not anythin' to giggle about," Toji would grumble at you, his beauty sleep interrupted as you laughed, glaring at Megumi as he clambered onto his father's chest, bouncing his bottom up and down and beating on him with his tiny fists.
There have been multiple instances where Megumi's been in a good mood, though. You'll never forget the pictures you took of him napping, holding his big sister's hand in his smaller one as they both rested on top of Toji's large chest, his hands cradling both their heads while he snored.
Toji is so bad at not cursing in front of his kids. It's a horrible habit, but he can't seem to grasp the fact that 4-year-olds aren't supposed to be saying the same unsavory words that roll off his tongue so easily.
"Fuck!" he'd let it slip a few times when he accidentally hurt himself, and in typical kid fashion, they were always around to hear something they shouldn't.
"Fuk?" The fact that Megumi was the very picture of innocence while such a filthy word came tumbling out of his mouth (and paired with a smile!) rattled his father.
"What's 'fuck'?" Tsumiki asked, barely much older than her brother. Toji could only pray you didn't hear that.
"Wh— not so loud! Don't repeat that shi— that stuff. Yer gonna get me in trouble with Mama."
(you indeed did hear and he got his ass beat later)
Calls Megumi and Tsumiki 'rugrats.'
He didn't realize just how little time he'd have for romance with his kids around. Every single time Toji leans in to press his lips on his yours, no matter where you two may be, they come running from around the corner (apparently, they'd been watching for a while), darting between your legs and making fake retching noises as they giggle at the scowl on their dad's face.
Toji's the kind of dad to lose one kid in the store, turn around to ask the other kid where their sibling went, only to find them both gone LMFAO.
Stiffens up when he hears an "I love you," or even when he receives a hug from either one of his children. Hugs take some coaxing from you, but he doesn't dislike them (he'd never admit it, what with his tough guy persona, but Toji's kids make him so soft inside.)
#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji fushiguro#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen toji#sorry i’ve been on hiatus#okay let me rant. i'm obssessed with the way toji's first and only love until the very end was megumi's mother#like. he was looked at like a piece of shit because of the fact that he couldn't see curses by his clan#but then here comes ms fushiguro. and she LOVED HIM despite all of his shit. SHE LOVED HIM SO BAD GUYS OH MY GOD#and till the very end he NEVER got over her. NEVER.#gege you make me sick btw#probably gonna change my layout again#ᴊᴇʟʟʏ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ .ᐟೀ#ᴊᴇʟʟʏ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀꜱ 𓈒 ˖༉ 𓇼
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Having the most normal thoughts about riding Matt’s abs…
He’s lying back on the bed, holding your hips firmly but gently as he guides you over his toned stomach. Lost in the feeling of your slick on him, his voice strained as he coos and praises you. “That’s it sweetheart, doing so good for me. Take your time.”
Meanwhile your hands are splayed out on his chest, feeling his heart beat faster the longer it goes, his breathing becoming more shallow by the minute. There’s something increasingly intimate about this but also so, so dirty as you continue on. Feeling every dip and ridge of his abs against your slick lips and clit as you’re getting wetter by the second.
But there’s something about this position, where you open your eyes for the first time in a while and you see Matt’s face contorted in pleasure, biting on down his lip and focused on you. He’s beautiful like this, no signs of stress from his day or night jobs etched on his face. You can’t help but lean over just enough to brush some stray hairs from his face, give him the gentlest of forehead kisses and he sighs contently. All it takes is one little strained “sweetheart” and his grip tightening on your hips that brings you over the edge as he helps you ride out the high.
When you collapse against his body and bury your face in the crook of his neck, Matt wraps an arm around you trying to bring you impossibly closer to him. He returns the forehead kiss just as gently, muttering praises for “doing such a good job sweetheart. That’s my good girl” as he rubs your back and you snuggle against him.
You’re reminded for a moment this man is powerfully built, from the way you lazily drag a finger up and down his firm bicep, his chest pressed against yours and the remnants of your slick still on his abs.
Yet he’s still soft in all the right places.
Not just physically from the way your fingers dig into his sides when you hug him tight that conveys how much you miss him. No, it’s in the way where he chooses to be gentle with you, the way the same hands that have broken bones and beat criminals to a bloody pulp are holding you close right now almost protectively. If Matt had it his way, he would choose to never let you go. It’s a reminder that for all he’s done and is capable of doing, he can still choose to be gentle but firm in the ways he shows his love for you.
(Of course, he would be glad to divulge into rougher territory if you please. All you would have to do is ask.)
Eventually you both move to clean up, agreeing to a shared shower but not before sharing a few kisses as you untangle yourselves from each other. You can’t help the smug smile that creeps on your lips as you catch a glimpse of your wetness still on him- and the remnants of his own release on his thighs.
(I swear this started solely as wanting to ride the man’s abs and then it turned into all this and yet another reference to the shower scene…)
OHH... AB RIDING????? GULP. this did. this did things to me... it's so sexual yet intimate at the same time, i fear the matt murdock loving disease just claims me more and more by the day. you can't tell me to imagine matt murdock straining the word "sweetheart" and being all encouraging and praising ugh uhghhguhgh... *curls in a ball rocking back and forth brain oozing out of ears*
...it’s in the way where he chooses to be gentle with you, the way the same hands that have broken bones and beat criminals to a bloody pulp are holding you close right now almost protectively.
hey. i just felt a surge of love so strong i almost blacked out. grabby hands at him. if it's not this i don't want it
share your mm fantasies
#matt murdock smut#matt murdock x reader#i'm so sorry this is not very coherent but oh my god.#inbox#daddy!matt#>500 words
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i just realised val really did get the last word. her soldier ended the first narrator of this story, and ended the narrative of the lives of the people in the old gods world with it
#oh my god. oh my god#tsv#the silt verses#(godless lands not included)#tsv spoilers#the silt verses spoilers#true that carpenter has an uncertain ending#but ultimately her arc closed beside the twisted water and the willow tree even if she is still alive#that's how i'm looking at it anyway#sorry if this is incoherent i'm so very very normal about this episode and the thoughts haven't been collected :D#rambles
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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In this post, I will attempt to calmly, reasonably, and in-a-good-faith-manner argue all the points raised by tumblr user @library-bat-girl in the following posts. I am starting a new thread so as not to further destroy the original poster, @skitterenjoyer's, tumblr notifications. Worm (+MHA) spoilers ahead. This will be a long post.
Firstly, I would like to apologize on the worm fandom's behalf. We will not engage in ableism of any kind. I sincerely hope that this was a singular incident and @skittersdrippygirlcock will be better about this in the future.
"MHA has better characters,"
My Hero Academia's primary achievement, I think, is managing to make many decently well rounded characters in a fairly short time-span. It certainly has very good visual character design, with easily memorable character designs, like Mina Ashido or Tsuyu Asui. Most of Class 1A is shown to be more than single-note gimmick characters. For a story with such a tight schedule, and only so much page real-estate, that's impressive! For instance, a character decidedly outside of the main cast, Fumikage Tokoyami, is shown to have more to his personality than "is an edgelord," showing a humility and friendliness that is highly against-type. This is very different than a lot of its peers, especially in Shonen manga, where side characters (and sometimes even main characters) are never more than their tropes (see Fairy Tale, One Punch Man*, The Seven Deadly Sins, or Black Clover). My Hero Academia does clear that bar, by making side characters little more than their tropes. This is to say nothing of the primary cast, who, again, is largely defined by tropes and easily slotted into standardized interchangeable Shonen roles. Rival, Love Interest, Rival but Nice About It. Additionally, MHA has an uncomfortably sexualized main cast, for one composed primarily of minors.
This is compared to Worm, in which many characters are fully realized and could have been the protagonist (and often were in older drafts of the story, due to Worm's 10-year development hell). Every character that gets an interlude, and most that don't, all have fully realized interiority, traumas, and wants. In fact, this is one of the major themes of Worm. Every character, from the protagonist Taylor, to characters so minor they're seen only once (see Damsel of Distress, Dauntless), to major antagonists and monsters (see Jack Slash, Bonesaw) all have their own story, even if this is never shown on-screen. There are no "side characters" in the same manner as in My Hero Academia, because every character is a protagonist of their own story, and not in a trite "life is so beautiful" way.
Taylor isn't the center of the universe, there's an entire world outside of her 3-block bubble. The mechanism by which all characters get their superpowers means that the mere fact of having powers implies this about them. Even the seeming exceptions, aren't (see Alexandria, Garotte). Taylor is a good character. I don't even know how to elaborate on that. She just is. Worm does not have the character Minoru Mineta.
"a better plot,"
What... what is the plot of My Hero Academia? For the life of me, I can't seem to recall. I can tell you the general formula of most of the arcs for the first ~2/3rds of the story. Class 1A goes to do a hero high school thing, like do rescue training, or on-the-job training, or on-the-job-training, or on-the-job-training (they do it like 4 times for some reason), the League Of Villains shows up (even when it's seemingly not the league of villains it actually is the league of villains) they fight about it, the class beats all the villains, and Deku beats up strongest bad guy and also breaks his bones. Repeat step 1. But like. What's... the plot? The League of Villains is evil and wants to kill people and do bad stuff. They explicitly do not have greater motivations. There's generally themes of passing-on-to-the-new-generation, so there's Tomura Shigaraki as the arch nemesis to Izuku Midoriya, just as All Might's Nemesis is All For One. Eventually they fight a big fight about it and I stop reading because I find out about Worm. From what I understand (I have not read the conclusion) the series ends without addressing any long-running questions, wrapping up any character arcs, or concluding anything in a narratively satisfying manner. As if severely rushed.
Worm, there are maybe 15 main stories going on simultaneously, which are all tied into the final confrontation with Scion. The most obvious is Taylor's and the Undersiders' story, about taking over Brockton Bay and defeating Coil, which is a smaller part of Coil's story about taking over the bay, until their confrontation with him in arc 17, when it supersedes Coil's story, and then intersects with Cauldron's story, the Traveler's story, the Case 53s' stories, the Wards' story, all of it, in arcs 18-19. This is one example. A great deal of attention is spent making sure the reader knows that Taylor, the Undersiders, Coil, all of them, are bit players in a very large game. Despite this, it's never hard to follow, because Wildbow, while lacking some of the more flowery prose, manages extremely well at making his stories easy to understand.
"I feel like even people who like Worm can agree that Worm is not the most consistent piece of fiction ever written. The disjointed way it was written meant that emphasis was primarily put on 'What Wildbow thought was cool in the moment', [sic] and the story RADICALLY shifts gears every time a new arc starts."
What? Huh? Worm is extremely consistent. Like. 1.1 to E.x. It's, like. Not disjointed? Oh my god, are you talking about interludes? Is that what you mean? The interludes shift gears? Because that makes sense. It's one of the hardest things about worm, yeah. It's gripping! The interludes are a great idea to expand the world of worm, but the problem is that taylor's story is so intriguing that stepping away from it to focus on something else is hard, no matter how individually interesting. I want to read about taylor's escalation spiral, not the travelers! (As opposed to My Hero Academia having random escalation and de-escalation between arcs with no real explanation. We're reading about lives-on-the-line battles with child-slavers and then move to playing on a playground with little kids? Best I can think of is that this whiplash is intentional, but this is never communicated to the reader. Worm does not do this. Any de-escalation is met with the explicit understanding that this is merely a period of calm before things get even worse). Taylor's story wraps up in an extremely narratively satisfying fashion, following her story to its logical conclusion. There were so many ways it could have been avoided, but there was really only one way that it could have ended.
"better worldbuilding,"
This actually offends me. MHA could have had great world-building. It doesn't. Every potentially interesting bit of world-building is backpedaled out of or stopped before it could get anywhere. Or it's just never elaborated or expanded upon. Everyone having a superpower could have been cool, but the implications of this are nonexistent. The reasons for this having no real implications, that being the banning of quirks, also has implications that are also immediately backpedaled out of. It's been hundreds of years since our time, yet life is exactly the same. Nothing ever happens. Endeavor is a cool concept. I like Endeavor. his existence implies such interesting things about the world, how important hero ranking is to these people's lives, that he would create this horrific system of domestic abuse to try and get to the #1 spot. What does this say about this system of heroes that operates like a popularity contest? It could have said a lot. It says nothing. What does the League of Villains, a league of people who call themselves out-and-out villains, who base their ideology in opposing this system of heroes, say about society? Nothing. On purpose. Worm does something with this. One Punch Man does something with this. My Hero Academia puts it in the story, and lets it sit, unused, for a decade.
Worm has... unique world-building. Because it's both good and bad at the same time. Worm's #1 feature is its world. It's brilliant, full stop. Triggers, The Birdcage, the PRT, Exclusion Zones! Why does the status quo exist? what does it say about that society? What does it say about our society? Why hasn't society radically changed from how it is in our world? This is explained. This plays into the themes. The story wants to say something about this world, and so it does. There are characters whose stories explicitly delve into these themes that are set up in the worldbuilding, like Armsmaster, or Battery, or Bonesaw, or Coil, or Piggot or Alexandria or Taylor herself or Brian or Lisa or ANY OF THEM THEY ALL DO THIS. Sorry.
Anyway, the bad part is that the actual world is not well built (and is kind of racist). What's going on in Europe? There's a 3 blasphemies! a 3 what? never explained. What's going on in Asia, aside from Japan? China is a monarchy for some reason. Why? It's never elaborated on. India gets a little bit of elaboration, we're told its different but not how it's different. Wildbow uses machine translation wrong and names some guy caliph of dogs. This is like worm's #2 problem honestly (#1 is Amy). Wildbow tries to make the implication of a well thought out globe without actually making a well thought out globe.
"stronger themes,"
It really doesn't. As I said in the worldbuilding section, MHA makes a point out of not saying or doing anything. I don't know if editors made Horikoshi walk back the more ambitious story beats or what, but there are multiple points in the story where the author pretty much looks you directly in the eye and goes "This Story Isn't Saying Anything At All Even Though It Looked Like It Would. Lmao."
Worm has lots of themes. I think Armsmaster/Defiant's story is my favorite. His entire character arc (which is fully realized despite him being a background character for nearly the entire story) has a point to it. It says something. It's misanthropic and uplifting simultaneously, and manages to feel like it earns both. It's a shared theme with Bonesaw/Riley's story, explored in two different ways.
"Meanwhile MHA establishes an actual overall theme/message right from the start that expands and develops throughout the story. The worldbuilding is informed by the message, which informs the characters arcs and the people they become by the end of the story."
I notice that you never actually say what that message is. What is it? Like, for real. I'm not being confrontational or anything, like what is the message? Cuz' I can't think of one. My Hero Academia, at its very core, is a defense of the status quo. Much like its world-building, but much less forgivable, because it does do something new and unique with its world-building. MHA could have done some extremely interesting stuff with its early implicit critique of heroic society as shown with characters like Bakugo, or Shigaraki, or Endeavor, or Overhaul, or Midoriya himself! It just doesn't! It doesn't do stuff that Worm does do!
Worm does have a message. It has a lot of messages, actually, some that the author disagrees with somehow. Prison abolition, for one. We know Wildbow loves prison. Anyway, the big one is in the subtitle: doing the wrong things for the right reasons. Taylor's constant spiral of escalation, her dwindling attachments to her friends and greater focus on treating herself like a soldier is prevalent, and it is to be avoided. Taylor isn't a sin-eater. They don't exist. From what I remember, this is sort of explored in Deku's character arc for a short period of time, but much like everything else in MHA, it is backpedaled out of.
The funniest is "don't text and drive" though.
"Just on a basic level the way that the audience is meant to feel about Taylor oscillates wildly between being directed to think of her as a misunderstood victim of circumstance, or history's greatest monster."
That's kind of the point. Like. the audience isn't meant to look at Taylor the same way throughout the entire story. It's meant to change as she changes. Taylor's opinion of Taylor changes. The mistake here is saying it "oscillates wildly." it doesn't. It's a slow and steady change for the worse, as Taylor gets more violent and starts throwing away greater and greater parts of herself to become more like a robot and less like a person.
"But a bigger issue in general is tone. It's very focused on being dark and gritty and edgy, and it makes the mistake a lot of consciously edgy media does. IE: it thinks that all it has to do to be smart is be bleak and/or graphic. It doesn't really try to say anything, in fact it contradicts itself throughout the book as I mentioned before, it just throws in extremely graphic scenes and content periodically to remind the audience how fucked everything is."
Did you read the boys and think it was worm? What? It's not being smart when it's bleak or graphic? I actually personally like the endbringers or the slaughterhouse 9, and not because I like watching people suffer. These things exist for a reason. It's not being dark for the sake of being dark. The heroes could stop the slaughterhouse 9. We see that, when they almost stop the slaughterhouse 9 (it's explicitly shown that they are stopped from destroying the slaughterhouse 9). The question then becomes why don't they? It's a grim, brutal calculus, and one that wasn't worth it. That's the point. The Endbringers are different. It's not until arc 27 that they're really explained. You could either read them as a criticism of Eidolon or of ableism, honestly. I mean, it wasn't intentional, he didn't create them on purpose, he needed something to fight, because without that he's nothing. His powers are all he has.
"Worm spends so much time trying to be edgy that as with a lot of edgy media the edginess loses all impact quite quickly and becomes sort of cringe."
I don't really think so, but like. Okay. I don't think this is a reconcilable viewpoint (none of this is really but this especially), so like we're probably gonna have to agree to disagree. The only thing I can really think of as edgy for the sake of edginess is Amy's arc. But even that's not really true. It's meant to be an utterly avoidable tragedy that could never have been stopped because of the people involved. Much like Taylor, actually. Amy could have stepped back from the brink, but she didn't, because Amy could never have done that, and nobody else was willing/able to help. It's supposed to be a thing where you sit back and think of all the tiny ways this could have easily been avoided, but wasn't.
"When body horror happens it still has impact because it's not happening constantly."
I mean, I guess. But like. I never got desensitized to the body horror in Worm. It hit pretty consistently for me throughout. As opposed to MHA, where it was usually walked back by the end of every arc. I never felt much tension or suspense because it felt as if there weren't actual consequences. In Worm, when Brian was strung up on his nerves, it felt disgusting because I was fully aware Worm would explore the ripple effects of this. It felt entirely possible he would die there, or never recover, because Worm didn't pull its punches. MHA did. This is a matter of opinion. We'll just have to agree to disagree about it.
"But most importantly - you root for the heroes because the world actually seems like it's worth saving."
that's just, um. sorry. I'm really trying here. That's just. Uh. Dumb. Do you root for Batman cause Gotham is a nice city? Everything's worth saving, that's, like, at its most basic what the concept of a superhero is about.
"Not only that but MHA simply does villain protagonists objectively better than Worm."
um. No? There straight up aren't villain protagonists in MHA. The villains are the POV characters for, like, one arc? You know what, here's a good spot for it. It's stated throughout the story that Shigaraki and the League of Villains have a goal, beyond just death and destruction. They're here to stop the corrupt society of heroes (that MHA hints at the existence of before backpedaling away from), and bring about a fairer society. But then, and this part pissed me off, one of the characters, I think Bakugo, says: "you're just using that as cover! you just want to kill people, you have no noble goal!" and shigaraki's like "dang you caught me." and then it happens again with Deku! Because My Hero Academia is allergic to saying something. Nope! They're villains! No moral depth here! They're Villains, We're Heroes, Go Put Them In Jail.
This is opposed to Worm, where- "The characters of the villains and their origins are used to highlight the flaws in the Superhuman society"
"Most of the villains are only villains because society failed them in some way, and the specific ways in which that happened become big plot points that then play into the future arc of our heroic characters."
I had to walk away from my computer for this one. It's hard to be civil. It's really hard. Polite and reasonable.
So Worm is about this. To even say this without a shred of irony makes me thing you've never once read a single word of Worm and are doing this purely as bait. Or you've read all of Worm and are doing this purely as bait.
"They're actually extremely complex in a way that ends up being fundamentally important to the overall story - where in Worm the villains are either based heroes fighting a corrupt system or they're histories [sic] greatest monsters... until they're presented as heroes again."
I think I get it now. I really think I do. You're not supposed to agree with all the characters. Like. Worm is inconsistent, in that it follows the perspectives of inconsistent people. Of course Triumph and Armsmaster don't agree on what is right! They're different people, they have different perspectives!
"See. Worm fans keep saying "This is Bait." It's not Bait, you all are simply ridiculous and obsessed with this series to such a degree that you feel compelled to say "This is Bait" instead of just... ignoring it, because you have no actual counterargument."
Perhaps worm fans are inclined to believe you posted rage bait because you brazenly walked into another fandom's post and wholeheartedly proclaimed that the thing they liked was Stupid Idiot Bullshit For Fucking Morons, and refused to elaborate until prompted, at which point you said several things that are demonstrably false about Worm.
"Your only response to anything I've said is pedantry, bigotry, and deflection. If it was obviously just bait why are you engaging?"
Well, I'm engaging because I've been in a foul mood since I woke up this morning. Also because you, again, said some very rude and patently false statements about a story that I really enjoy and find narratively rich, even in its faults.
"MHA's characters do fall into archetypal shounen character roles - but they are all given a solid amount of focus explaining why they are like that and developing them into something bigger."
Again, as I said, it's a genuinely impressive feat to have an ensemble cast like what My Hero Academia has, and give so many of the characters a degree of depth, with such little manga to work with. I think worm does it better, but worm doesn't have to be economical about it. MHA does. The problem I have with this statement is that it becomes a question of scale. How much bigger? They're no longer defined by their tropes, instead defined by their opposition to their tropes. It's still a one-note character, you've merely changed the note from C to C sharp.
"so almost every member of the cast has an arc that either develops them past the person they initially seemed to be or explains why they're like that."
This is probably my favorite part about MHA. They do have arcs! I love ensemble casts! it does a much better job in this than all of its contemporaries, even One Piece. However, they are comparatively simplistic arcs that all follow a similar formula.
"I've heard people say MHA is neocon or pro-establishment but the story literally concludes by showing that society HAS TO FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE or the same problems that created the villains in the first place will keep happening. The entire time skip specifically focuses on the fact that for eight years the main characters have been forcing change in the world and addressing the issues the villains brought up."
Now, I'm going to be clear. I stopped reading My Hero Academia around chapter 275. I don't know the exact number, but it was the latest chapter in ~mid 2020. I would occasionally attempt to reread, in an attempt to catch up, but give up around chapter 200 out of boredom. I don't know exactly how the story ends, but I have read ~2/3rds of the story. I feel this gives me a pretty good understanding of the general tone of the story, unless it wildly changes tone at the 3/4ths mark, which you have explicitly said it does not, as it is extremely coherent and consistent. Therefore, I believe I can state with some degree of confidence that MHA does not do that.
I would certainly believe that it tries (and fails) to SFP it, but SFP does not promote a fundamental societal change. That's the problem. Strong Female Protagonist was willing to come up and say that Alison lived in a fundamentally unjust world, even if it was never willing or able to offer real change. And hey. You do what you can. I sincerely doubt My Hero Academia is even willing to call its world fundamentally unjust, from the 200+ chapters that I did read.
"In the case of the actual main characters, they have extremely comprehensive character arcs."
Adding this behind the last point just so that I don't have to reiterate I haven't finished the book. I am, however, very much not inclined to believe the actual main characters had extremely comprehensive character arcs.
Which plays back into the initial theory that ANYONE CAN BE A HERO.
man, spider-man did that better (not a real argument, but like, spider-man totally did that better). Not least because midoriya specifically could not become a hero were it not for all might giving him a power.
No, the Villains don't get happy endings,
Why not? Why do they go to jail, even the ones who changed and wanted to redeem themselves? Endeavor never goes to jail. He did some horrible stuff. He's redeemed himself in the eyes of the story, right? Anyone can be a hero, right? So why not them? Why haven't they redeemed themselves in the eyes of the story?
You may wish to turn this back on me and ask why doesn't Armsmaster go to prison? Because he's similar in some respects. But worm never calls prison justice. (for some reason, even though wildbow totally loves prison). Prison is punitive, a tool for those in charge to control those it manages to capture. Maybe some deserve life in the birdcage. Many don't. It doesn't matter. Because the birdcage isn't a tool of justice. It's not meant to be. it's a box to put the uncontrollable capes in, until they can be used as meat shields. So Armsmaster doesn't go to prison because the story says explicitly there is no point to it. But MHA? MHA says there is a point to it. Endeavor needs to go to prison if he wants to atone. He's escaping justice every second he's outside.
I have actually read Worm, and for the first half to two thirds I loved it.
Weird. That's exactly how long I really enjoyed MHA. Not, like relevant, to anything. Just odd. I mean, I don't actually dislike MHA. I think it's fine, actually. It feels like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to me. Funny (when Mineta isn't around), bombastic, and a good time, even if I don't think it's super thematically rich.
I'm not coming at this from the perspective of someone who has never seen any of the merits of Worm, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who really liked it, gave it a fair shot, and was eventually disappointed when it ended up not tying together right.
See, this makes me more inclined to think it's bait, actually. since you said "Oh yeah. MHA is published. MHA's been an ongoing publication with a large following for ten years, in a notoriously competitive industry. Now this might seem kind of unimpressive, it's a very low bar to clear I know. But it's one Worm hasn't, so. I dunno, I'd say that's fairly objective. Now you may think "Yeah, but Trash fiction gets published all the time." And that's true but again - Worm hasn't. The worst piece of fiction you can think of got published and Worm didn't. You wanna be an asshole about this? The thing you love is so mid that it was self published in 2013, couldn't get picked up for professional publishing until 2019 and as far as I can see has stayed in development hell since then." in your previous post. Sure, perhaps we can say you were pissed at the time, but "the thing you love is worse than trash fiction, an altogether nothing piece of literature that isn't even worth the paper it would hypothetically be printed on" does not strike me as the words of someone who "really liked it, gave it a fair shot, and was eventually disappointed when it ended up not tying together right." In fact, going back through your other statements on the story, you seem to have genuinely disliked it from the very beginning, on grounds of being too edgy (which I can fully understand the logic of): "IE: it thinks that all it has to do to be smart is be bleak and/or graphic," thematically incoherent: "It doesn't really try to say anything, in fact it contradicts itself throughout the book as I mentioned before, it just throws in extremely graphic scenes and content periodically to remind the audience how fucked everything is," and utterly devoid of purpose or meaning. "When it does introduce new lore that new lore is almost always overly convoluted and acts as a catalyst for things happening, but not really things happening that play into a wider theme or message. It's just "Oh and here's this team of god-level serial killers who are gonna string a dude up by his nervous system." Like yeah, cool visual, but what is any of this actually saying?" This does not sound like a ringing endorsement of the first half of Worm to me. In fact, this sounds like you hated every second of it.
"And frankly given the number of comments that are just people saying "Bait" - I don't think any of y'all have engaged with this in a fair or honest way"
I'm going to reiterate on my previous statement. I like my hero academia. Capeshit is my favorite genre, it probably always will be. They're my favorite genre of story. While I find the themes—or lack thereof—extremely frustrating, I still think of it as fun. I gave it a fair shake. I would probably really enjoy the ending if I didn't have a reading list that was 300 books long.
#worm spoilers#MHA spoilers#*One Punch Man is partially an exception as characters are “never more than their tropes” for the sake of parody.#i don't dislike my hero academia by the way. in fact i rather like it. at least the first three quarters or so#L style contessa should have hit eidolon with a car and been like “look at that the endbringers stopped crazy.”#well it would have actually been crazy considering she had no way to know he was causing them#sorry n0brainjustvibes i never finished that MHA fanfic you recced me#quote text is colored to stop your eyes glazing over at the wall of text#armsmaster is what endeavor could/should have been#like they have a very similar arc. but they differ in that armsmaster's redemption is earned and endeavor's isn't#how so? there's like a reason armsmaster has an epiphany about his previous behavior#endeavor's like “oh the narrative is focusing on me as a protagonist i better be a good guy now!”#the fixing society thing is what ward should have been about but wasn't. but we're not talking about ward#by the way i wish they just killed teacher instead of birdcaging him. ward would have been so much better#^that was a joke#sorry about making the quotes smaller i'm trying to save some space in this tumor of a post somewhere#please don't say “god-level serial killers” by the way. for my sake if nothing else#you know i made the comparison to gotham being a shithole somehow without any thought that the person i am disagreeing with is a batman fan#or at least a batgirl fan
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What is Suikoden about? :>
Ohhhhh hohohohoho Meg, you have no idea what you've done (I'm sorry this is going to get wordy... I just really love this series so so much).
So all the mainline Suikoden games (plus Suikogaiden I&II which are visual novels) take place in the same universe, some years apart. All the games have war as a main central conflict, but you usually play as a young "unnamed" protagonist (technically all the heros have like manga canon names iirc), with the exception of Suikoden III which took on a tritagonist situation where you switch between three main heros and then you make a decision about halfway through the game which one you want to be the "main" hero (as a bonus you also get to play the story from the "villain's" perspective as well if certain conditions are met). The series is based on the classic Chinese novel, The Water Margin (perhaps rather losely. I own the novel but I haven't actually ever gotten that far into reading it OTL).
One major important part of the story is the runes system, which is essentially the magic system. There's many runes that you can just straight up buy from vendors in the game, but then there are also 27 "True" runes, which are super powerful, and usually come with built in immortality (except the Rune of Punishment which.... Does not :)) and a lot of them also come with fun and horrible Extra "Perks":tm:! Each game also has at least one of the 27 True Runes that your protagonist ends up wielding. The in-game legend about the origins of the True Runes goes as follows (pulled this direct from the wiki):
In the beginning, there was "darkness." Then finally, the "darkness" shed a "tear." From that "tear," the brothers Sword and Shield were born. Sword Bragged that he can cut anything. Shield replied that he could protect anything. Then the brothers began a legendary battle for seven days and seven nights. At the end, Sword cut Shield and Shield smashed Sword. Sword became the sky, Shield became the earth, and the sparks from the battle became the stars. And the jewels that adorn Sword and Shield Became the True Runes-- The runes that all other runes were born from.
Each game has a "base" that your hero finds at some point that gets built up not only as the story progresses, but also as you recruit characters to your army. Which is another thing all the games share! There is a collection of 108 recruitable characters in each game (give-or-take as III is kind of different in that it includes antagonists, and also the other games have some characters that will take other's places depending on certain conditions e.g. there's one character, who if you make certain decisions, will die in battle, and his son will join your army in his place, taking his place in the roster, but if you don't make those decisions, you keep the father and never meet his son). Not all the recruitable characters are playable in battle however, some of them are there as either battle support, offering you different benefits to your combat party, and some are there to add things to your base such as minigames, shops, or entertainment (The Suikoden II Iron chef style minigame is still my all time favorite videogame minigame, although some of that might be nostalgia talking lol). It's incredibly rewarding to return to your base after recruiting people and then find another wing added onto it and sometimes with more fun minigames to play. It really starts to feel so lively! Also if you recruit all 108 characters and fill your roster (known in-game as the Tablet of Stars) usually before the final major tactical battle, you unlock different really cool extras (like the aforementioned ability in III where you get to play through parts of the game from the "antagonist's" PoV)
Oh gosh, another thing all the games have in common is there are three battle systems. 1) your typical turn-based system (6 characters):
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2) a duel system where it's 1v1 in a sort of rock-paper-scissors style thing where you have to read your oppenent's dialogue to determine how they're going to attack and react accordingly or take massive damage
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and 3) the large-scale "tactical" battles, where you set up battle units with the characters you've recruited and then you essentially play a semi-chance based version of chess and fling them at each other on the field and try to reduce the enemy to a certain number, hold out until a certain amount of moves/time has passed, or just all out reduce their army to zero.
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(also lol this video has the joke about Viktor's Lion flag)
Along with all the war, there's a bunch of deeper underlying themes like companionship, loyalty, hope, grief, loss, guilt, you know all the happy fun JRPG style storytelling elements! And honestly that's what really elevates the games. I think it's a lot like some of XIV, especially StB and HW in that respect. Like yes, war is going on, and it's the main big central conflict, but there's always more to keep you engaged and interested in the heroes and their journeys. I was going to go on and explain a synopsis of each game specifically, but lol just this is already soooooo long. There's also a villain (he's not the main villian.... ohhhhh no) in the first two games who's a vampire, his name is Neclord (fuckin lol), and he has a bangin battle soundtrack:
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There is literally so much more I could say about the series, but like literally if it sounds even slightly interesting to you, I implore you to pick up the remasters when they come out in March (I believe on multiple platforms, including Steam and Switch iirc?)
Also a special mention about the creator Yoshitaka Murayama, who passed away in February of this year. He created his own game studio, Rabbit & Bear Studios which developed the Spiritual successor series to the Suikoden series, Eiyuden Chronicle (which had an incredibly successful kickstarter campaign and is available to play to the public right now, and I own but have not yet played).
#Suikoden#Oh my god I'm so sorry this is so long#I just have so much to say about Suikoden#I love it so much#It's so good.#It's a very old series#but it has that classic 16-bit charm#and a wonderful soundtrack#and ugh it's just so good.#Z speaks#Z answers#lilas
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I love you Rayla from the hit series The Dragon Prince.......
#I just finished watching season 6 and oh my GOD /pos#THAT WAS THE BEST BDAY GIFT I COULD ASK FOR#Rayla they could never make me hate you........#I can't believe this is my first time drawing her#I'm so sorry Rayla you deserve better#First time drawing tdp fanart actually#Which is very surprising considering this is one of my favorite shows of all time#The Dragon Prince#rayla#tdp rayla#my platonic wife btw#art#fanart#jays art
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tired of people who want pjo movie references in the disney+ show. "logan lerman should've been-" i don’t care. "poker face in the casino-" actually i hope ms. gaga keeps her entire discography miles away from it. i don't care move on
#peace and love🫶#this isn't even to say I didn't like those parts of the movies or that I can't see the appeal in having references in the show#I'm just tired of HEARING about it oh my god#the pjo movies are getting all of the loving looking back they could need#just in the fact that people's opinions of them are clearly shifting#like people look back on them more fondly now they were VERY bad adaptations but fun movies overall with some good scenes#I think the shift in public opinion is also due to the d+ show btw I think the fact we have a good adaptation now#means people no longer feel the need to spend energy publicly and viscerally disavowing the movies anymore#but we still don't really need references to it!! especially when it's shit you're so clearly not getting I'm sorry#they're not putting logan lerman anywhere in there you know this look inside yourself#and they're DEFINITELY not putting poker face in the lotus hotel scene COME ON NOW THAT WOULD JUST BE STUPID#the lotus hotel scene is already going to undeniably get compared to the pjo movie version#and they. kind of have a lot to beat. the lotus hotel scene was so much fun#there's already going to be a bunch of “which was better?” discourse about it#using poker face would honestly probably not help. also then it's not gonna be a fun scene in it's own right#it's gonna be a fun and good scene to people just cause it references some bad movies#anyway I hope they pick a different song I saw some people say hotel room-#pjo#pjo tv#pjo disney+
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everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)
#the idiot#ippolit terentyev#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy#it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since#god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition#and they just make fun of him#literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does#they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up#because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable#and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility#that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are#and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!!#he's EIGHTEEN and DYING#this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever#and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature#he has a right to be upset about that#he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about#and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that#and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others#and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that#yet i feel bad for him#and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him#and yes he's doing it for attention#of course he wants attention#can you blame him??#all he wants is to be heard#to feel like his life mattered#but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up#like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with#sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol
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looking back at the novel i wrote when i was 14. i accidentally wrote a really interesting pairing with two of these ocs, and i didn't even notice. like i always kinda felt like Something was missing or out of place but could never put my finger on it, but i'm pretty sure it's the fact there's so much built up for a payoff between these two and then it never really amounts to anything special
#and they were parallels#(oh my god they were parallels)#sorry i've been posting so much about my writing lately but i'm my biggest fan and i find this shit super interesting#and i don't keep a diary#so you all unfortunately have to hear about it#it is very funny to see the way my 14-15 year old self wrote about teenage boys#so normal yep 100%
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