#oh my god i was literally cringing tho

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle nina, were u a directioner becuz i feel like thats what inspired rm mayb

*sigh*

...no.

unfortunately, i liked 5sos.

which i think explains...

Everything. :/

[silverislander]

fully intended and foreseen consequence of coping better with my anxiety is that this blog will at some point inevitably become More Cringe and that point is SO close on the horizon. if you get mad at me for posting things i like on my blog that is for me you clearly have more issues than i do for worrying abt that possibility for hours on end

[slutforln4]

IN LOVE, IN ITALY.

🖇️ charles leclerc x painter reader

🖇️ in which, instagram is the diary for a fairytale love between a racer, a painter and their life in italy.

🖇️authors note: thank you to the lovely anon that submitted this request <3 hope you enjoy!!

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, landonorris and 376,937 others

yourusername i ❤️ summers in italy and my boy

comments

user1 PARENTSSSS

user2 i need a love like theirs

charles_leclerc why did i come second on the list of things you love 💔

yourusername i've loved you for three summers, my love, out of the twenty five i've lived. and i'll love you for many more.

user3 stop it rn i didn't need to see that today

user4 brb jumping

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, landonorris, carlossainz55 and 637,928 others

charles_leclerc i'm being held at gunpoint to post myself during summer break

comments

yourusername and i'll do it again 🔫

user5 let's all thank y/n for feeding us with charl content

user6 thank you y/n

user7 thanks y/n!!

user8 thank you mother

yourusername ur welcome, my loves x

landonorris never seen a man so happy to be on break

yourusername shade

landonorris was it that obvious?

charles_leclerc i love my job?

charles_leclerc !*

user9 ferrari has him locked up LMFAO

user10 bro can't even drive a car unless it's ferrari or he's cooked

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, arthur_leclerc and 436,937 others

yourusername lemons, anyone? 🍋

comments

user11 what the fuck is that stance, charles...

charles_leclerc helps me catch fish

user12 i've never seen anyone paint lemons so realistically, how long did it take?

yourusername eight hours! i've mastered the craft of losing sleep and cramping fingers

user13 spare me some talent i beg

user14 i wonder if she's ever painted charles lol

landonorris paint me a papaya next

yourusername on it

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, landonorris, carlossainz55 and 837,948 others

charles_leclerc she doesn't always paint

comments

user15 red is her colour!

user16 she looks so cute in the helmet lol

user17 who won karting

yourusername me obvs

landonorris i did tho?

yourusername lando nowins suggests otherwise

user18 LMFAO

user19 why is she cooking lando omfg

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, landonorris and 736,937 others

yourusername and he doesn't always race

comments

user20 wait the matching captions i'm emotional

user21 my actual parents

landonorris i hope whatever he was painting on the canvas was better than those eels on your back

yourusername it wasn't but it's the thought that counts

charles_leclerc hey :(

yourusername mi dispiace amore mio

user22 they're adorable i'm sobbing

yourusername

liked by arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, landonorris and 836,937 others

yourusername new beginnings

comments

user23 NEW BEGINNINGS??

user24 don't tell me they broke up

user25 i'm ending myself if they broke up

user26 no? no. nope nuh uh

user27 WHY IS CHARLES NOT IN THE LIKES

user28 we're done for

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, landonorris and 2,923,782 others

charles_leclerc guess what

comments

user29 OH MY GOD?????????/

user30 no fucking way

yourusername yours for eternity 🤍

charles_leclerc i wouldn't have it any other way

landonorris congratulations to my fav cringe couple

carlossainz55 congrats

georgerussell63 Congratulations from Carmen and I

lewishamilton congratulations 💐🤍

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, carlossainz55 and 1,436,837 others

yourusername opened up a gallery in my fiancés name. come visit in maranello, italy 💌

comments

user31 i'm??? sobbing???

user32 i went there on opening day and half of her work mentions charles in the descriptions 😭 my fav one: "took a picture of the sunset after charles and i first kissed. it's been three years since and kissing him still feels like looking at this sunset."

user33 STOP????

user34 one of the paintings is literally called charles and it's a cluster of her and his birth month flowers.

charles_leclerc you never fail to make me fall even more in love with you. je t'aime chéri ❤️

yourusername ti amo di più tesoro 🤍

the end.

[soobinsonly1bf]

soobin + discord esex

warnings: nsfw, afab!reader, literally esex on discord, soobin's kinda subby here, mutual masturbation ig??, jerking off, fingering, they're teasing (more like mocking) each other nonstop, soobin's a pervy loser, it's cringy and they know it, dirty talk, use of pet words (pretty boy, good boy)

!!nsfw under the cut, minors dni!!

"god, i need you so bad right now..." soobin mumbled, phone in his one hand and his cock in the other one... he strokes his dick desperately while looking at the phone screen. "please, please show yourself... i need to see you. just- just your face."

"my voice is not enough to make you cum?" you tease and see soobin turning on his camera to show himself and his pouty face.

"baby..." he whines, not stopping touching himself. you chuckle as you turn the camera on too, showing your face to him.

"happy? and now maybe you should show me your stupid cock?" you ask, acting calm, but in reality you're rubbing your thighs together since the beginning of your call when the first thing you heard were his damn whimpers...

"so it's stupid now?" he rolls his eyes at your words. "i think it's not so stupid when it's deep inside your stupid pussy."

"oh, so it's stupid now? i think it's not so stupid when you're fucking drooling at the only sight of me naked." you mock him.

"alright, alright, you won..." he says as he flips the camera, showing the hard cock in his fist. you gulp, you can't help it. you just want his pretty cock inside of you so bad...

soon you can only hear his little noises and the sound of him stroking his dick, all wet from his precum. you slowly put your hand on your already just as wet cunt. you rub it gently through your sweatpants and your breath hitches. it doesn't go unnoticed by your boyfriend...

"i know what you're doing." he says with the smirk you can't see, but you know damn well it's on his face right now, because he made you needy too. "show me." he says, but when he sees no reaction he adds "please?".

you just sigh. "i'm not even really doing anything yet..." then you see he stopped moving his hand on his cock and you sigh once again. "wait a second." you say and he's stroking himself again.

it's embarrassing, but you quickly pull your pants down, staying in just your underwear. you touch it right where the wet spot is... it really is embarrassing, how you're wet only because of soobin showing you his goddamn cock... but oh so pretty cock.

"bet you're not gonna last five minutes once i show you myself." you tease, fliping your camera for soobin to see how you're rubbing the visibly wet stain through your underwear... you can't help but notice how his hand started moving in a faster pace.

"oh god... and you dare to call my dick stupid when you're so goddamn wet?" he teases back. "i want to fuck you so bad right now..."

"what the fuck soob, it was so cringe." you say, but in reality you can feel yourself clench around nothing... it's getting more and more embarrassing.

"yeah i think the fact that we're just having discord sex is more cringe... i don't mind tho."

"maybe because you're-" you can't stop the little moan leaving your lips as you keep on rubbing your pussy. "you're just used to being a cringe loser."

"you just moaned, didn't you? who's a loser now?" he says as you pull your underwear down, but flip the camera back at your face. "fuck, i am the loser! 'm sorry, i'm the loser, so please- please show me." he mumbles, immidiately changing his tone.

you chuckle and put your phone on the pillow in front of you, now showing your whole body laying on your bed, but also your face. "yeah? wanna see, loser?" you ask as you spread your legs for him.

"you're so beautiful, god, so pretty..." he mumbles, jerking off his cock desperately. you see the precum literally dripping down his slit.

you chuckle and spread your folds, showing off your wet hole. "you'd love to slip your cock in here, yeah? come on, stroke yourself like you're fucking into me." you say and can immidiately see the effect you have on him.

"shit, gonna cum- i'm so close, i-" he whimpers and the next thing you see is soobin cumming all over himself, now slowly moving his hand up and down to let everything out.

you slip two of your fingers into your cunt, the sight of his release turning you on more than you thought it would... you start fucking yourself with your fingers, imagining it's soobin's cock going in and out of you.

soobin can't help, but keep on stroking his already overstimulated cock... he whimpers oh so loudly, you can imagine his pretty lips now. you finger yourself, desperate to also cum. "fuck- you came so good for me, yeah pretty boy? should i cum for you too now? will you cum again for me like a good boy you are?"

you hear him mumbling and whimpering, you can't even understand what he says, but the way his cock twiches tells you enough. soon you feel your legs trembling and the familiar feeling in your lower abdomen... you let out a loud moan as you're cumming on your fingers, still fingering yourself through it.

your eyes are squeezed shut, orgasm overwhelming you... but then you open your eyes wide, kinda shocked at soobin cumming once again, not as much as before, but still a lot.

"what the fuck... what are you, fourteen?" you say, still kinda disbelieving that he came so fast after his previous orgasm.

"oh shut up, not my fault you're hot!"

"yeah and it's not my fault you're a pervy loser." you say, hanging up the call.

—————————

a/n: @jistagrams WORK WAS THE ONE THAT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE IT (sorry for tagging😭)

especially this one ss!! guys go to her profile immidiately and check this out!!!!!!

[jjiwo0n]

Enhypen hyung line and what i think their kinks would be!

Warnings : smut MDNI!, rough sex, pet names

Creator's note : its fucking cringe imo, but ill let yall judge<3

Lee Heeseung ! :

Size kink

I think that Heeseung would be very much into the size kink, like bro, imagine youre just walking outside and youre in front of him, he would literally look at that little ass walking and slightly jiggling (unless u got no cake) he would get MEGA turned on, he would pull you to the alleyway and fuck you while calling you his precious cum doll and he would say things like "oh my god.. Youre so small.." Or "youre so tight and thats perfect for both me and my cock." Like damn, man i wish

Park Jongseong ! :

Hair Pulling

Like nah, Jay and hair pulling thats literally an amazing combo. Imagine youre on your all fours as hes pounding onto you, you just cant do this anymore and his your face into the pillow, as you were gripping onto the sheets you felt a hand on your head, fingers slowly gripping onto your soft hair as you felt a sharp pull, Jay pulled your head back so he can both see your fucked face and hear your moans while hes groaning out "holy fuck. Youre so pretty like that.." While he spit into your mouth.

Sim Jake ! :

Dirty talk

It looks like our boy loves dirty talking. Hes doing so everywhere, everytime. Even if youre both in a bus he'll put his hand on your thigh and say all the dirty stuff he would do to you right over there. "Oh baby.. I could really eat you right now.." "Baby doll.. I really want to fuck you right here in front of these people.. I really want them to see whe the fuck owns you." He would be saying all these stuff while his hand was getting much closer to your clothed wet pussy. Until you stopped him from what he was doing and made him wait till yall get home

Park Sunghoon ! :

Spanking

Every fucking chance he gets he would fucking spank you or just outside as a joke, but when yall fucking he'll be rough with you as fuck, your ass full of red marks of his hands. After that of course he would cuddle you and be sorry. But would is he tho?? He loved the was you were moaning at the pain so.. Believe me or not he won't feel sorry

[themultifanshipper]

As much love as the fans showed Yuki, one little-known fact about him was that no one would ever love him quite as much as his wife did. And they expressed it a bit too loudly for everyone else’s liking.

The fact that Yuki is looking at pierre in that pic keeps me awake at night.

Hope y'all get the deadpool reference

Also I cry laughing everytime i read the "cakes" part bc wtf was I thinking

Warnings: I almost vomited from the fluff, nasty sex to counterbalance tho, putting food in places it should not be, physical injury (burn), then more disgusting fluff. Cringe dialogue. Tried something new writing in the 3rd person so tell me if it’s okay

They were still very much in the honeymoon phase, only having been married for a year, but they were truly, madly, deeply, disgustingly in love. Emphasis on the disgusting. Because they fucked anywhere and everywhere, all the damn time.

It was becoming a problem, in particular for Daniel, who had asked that the walls separating their driver rooms be soundproofed, and to never be on the same hotel floor as Yuki.

Because Yuki was insatiable and so was his wife.

There they were, in Yuki’s massive kitchen, while she made dinner and Yuki watched her, glass of wine (not his first) in his hand. How lucky that he married a woman whose father was a world famous chef. She’d insisted on making him something special for their 1 year anniversary, so he just sat on the other side of the kitchen Island while she worked away at her pots and pans.

“You know I love you, right?” He asked.

She looked at him with an amused twinkle in her eye. “I would hope so baby, otherwise why did you marry me?”

“For your amazing smile, of course! And your father’s money” he smirked at her.

“Well then thank god I made you sign a prenup then!”

They both giggled and sighed like lovesick fools, and sent each other flying kisses from across the island. If anyone else had been there, they would probably have been sick, especially Daniel, who knew way too much about their sex habits to be fooled by all the lovey-dovey PDA they always shared around everyone.

She’d finished all the prep and had just turned the stove on when she climbed onto a chair to open the top cabinet which contained more bottles of expensive wine.

That’s when Yuki noticed. She was wearing one of his shirts, which was slightly big on her given his build, that part he already knew, but as she lifted her arms, he noticed she was wearing nothing underneath. Literally nothing.

She was cooking for him (that on it’s own enough to get him in the mood) straight up shirt-cocking it (shirt-pussying it?), Winnie the pooh style. In a shirt with his name on it.

It was all too much for little Yuki Tsunoda as he slinked off his chair and made his way towards her. He made it halfway around the island before she noticed and scolded him.

“Nuh-huh, get out of my space baby. This is my kitchen tonight!”

He didn’t listen as he ran the rest of the way and kissed her, arms weaving around her waist. The advantage of being almost the same height was that neither had to bend their head awkwardly, their bodies just slotted together perfectly. He grabbed at the back of her thighs and she wrapped them around his waist, enjoying how much strength he possessed as he didn’t even flinch.

He plopped her on the counter between the stove and the fridge, the cold marble against her heated flesh making her gasp against his lips. Without looking and without breaking the kiss, one of Yuki’s hands trailed down between her legs, the other going into the meticulously organised fridge.

She pulled away, needing oxygen, and saw what he’d taken out: a can of whipped cream. Uh oh. He grinned at her, shaking the can, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

“And what, pray tell, are you going to do with that?”

He smirked “I am going to decorate my entrée.”

She rolled her eyes as he pushed on her chest to lay her down before pulling up her shirt over her tits. He then proceeded to squirt whipped cream over them, making her gasp. Finally, he produced a jar of sprinkles from god knows where and threw a generous amount over the cream.

“cakes” he said simply, making her wheeze because what the fuck Yuki, but she didn’t laugh for long as he wasted no time diving in, tongue first, liking up the quickly melting cream.

The coldness of the cream had made her nipples hard, and he took the opportunity to suck on them harshly, making her whine and grab his hair while he licked up every last drop of his handywork. Then he spent a few minutes worshipping, licking and nibbling every bit of bare skin he could get his mouth on.

Once he was done and she was panting, he lifted her legs and ordered her to hold them open, exposing her to him completely. And as he suspected, she had already made a puddle on the counter, making him groan and cup himself through his joggers, that were well tented by now.

“Naughty, not wearing anything underneath. Is this what you expected to happen?”

She nodded quickly “Yes! Please Yuki, touch me.”

His fingers tapped around her thighs, never getting anywhere near where she needed them most.

“And who made you wet like this, hmmm?”

She huffed impatiently “You did Yuki, been thinking about tonight all week!”

He raised his eyebrows as he shook the can again. “Really? I must savour it then.”

He squirted a healthy amount all over her pussy, not wasting any time with sprinkles. The heat from her skin melted it almost immediately, drops rolling down her flesh, across her ass and onto the counter. He trailed his finger through the mess, slipping it into his mouth as he moaned, the taste of the cream mixing with her slick made an absolute banger mix.

The madman didn’t waste any more time, he buried his face into the mess between her thighs, lapping up as much of it as he could and using his very skilled tongue to bring her to the edge in minutes.

She came with a loud cry and her hips bucked into his mouth, spreading a mix of cum and leftover cream over his face as he let her ride the wave, her hands firmly tangled in his hair.

When her body finally stopped thrumming with aftershocks, she pushed herself up to kiss him, but before their lips could meet, she shrieked.

She had left the stove on, and in her haste, put her hand straight on the scorching surface.

Yuki immediately picked her up and brought her to the sink to run her hand under the cold water.

“Are you okay baby?”

She nodded, whimpering as the feeling slowly faded from her hand from the cold and he kissed her cheek, arms around her squeezing tight.

“Why don’t I finish dinner while you go put some aloe on it?

She nodded again, and when she felt like her hand was going to survive the trip, she shuffled off to the bathroom.

After dinner, they lay in bed snuggling, while Yuki kissed each knuckle carefully over and over.

“I’m sorry” He whispered.

She giggled “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, baby. It was entirely my stupidity that led us here.”

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, kissing her skin softly “I love you”

“I love you too, Yuki”

He smiled and tightened his hold around her waist and they both fell asleep like that, wrapped in each other’s arms.

[animehideout]

Hello! can you do a scenario with gojo x reader who simps out loud for him

like she says the craziest shit she would do to him infront of everyone and they look at her like she crazy 💀

like she says "Gojo could slash me across the back with a belt and make me flow on the inside out"

and everyone just whips their heads at her and just give her that look😭😭😭

(BRO IDK IF THAT WAS ME BEING WERID OR SIMPING💀💀💀)

Gojo Satoru X Simp/Flirty Reader.

a/n: Thank you @bootyholeater for this request, I had do much fun writing it💗. I hope you like it tho 🥹🫶🏻

WHERE ARE MY GOJO SATORU SIMPS AT?

warnings: fluff overload with some smutty flirting 🫦.

No one ever managed to make the famous Gojo Satoru blush, let alone stutter.. but guess what?.. You did ! Congratulations 👏🏻.

Both of you are Jujutsu high students, spending the day face to face with him made you fall head over heels for him.

He was your type, he was literally the male version of you but add a lot of boldness.

Because you would openly simp for him, in public, in private, even during Yaga sensei class.

“ So class, you'll be paired up for a mission. Y/n and Geto both of yo-”

“But Sensei, I wanna be paired up with Gojo!!”

“huh, any reasons?”

“IDK, he's hot” you'd shrug.

Let's say simping shamelessly is your love language.

You'd literally be armed with a repertoire of pickup lines reserved for him.

And your pickup lines never fail in making him grin from ear to ear.

You'd flip your hair around him a lot.

Literally teasing a tease.

A light touch on his arm that'll flutter his heart.

When you're with your classmates, you'd literally say the dirtiest shit ever.

You'd be spending the evening with them when you started your flirting duty.

“Do you know that 70% of your body is water?” you'd pause shifting your gaze to Gojo, “And I'm 100% thirsty”

“Really y/n? We thought you're sharing a scientific fact but I guess flirting with Gojo is more important” said Shoko shaking her head.

Gojo would burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“Two peas in a pod, I swear to god” Exclaim Geto.

“What was your technique again y/n?”

“Baby-making technique wanna help in that.. Satoru?” you'd say with a wink.

“Nice blindfold Satoru, did you get rid of your sunglasses?” Asks Geto.

“yeah nice blindfold, wanna try that on me Satoru?”

“Seriously y/n? Again?”.

He loves the way you say his name, and loves your soft giggles.

He would turn off his infinity when you're around cuz he knows you get extremely touchy with him and FUCK he loves that.

“So what's you'll favorite food?” asked Geto.

“Oh, I'm a sweet tooth , I really enjoy sweets”

“Damn what a coincidence Gojo, me too. I enjoy sweets especially lollies, I enjoy sucking them”.

Geto would get his ass up and leave, he's so done with you.

You're literally unfazed by any awkwardness.

You don't care if your flirting comes out as cringe or cheesy, you said what you said and don't give a fuck as long as you're expressing yourself.

But 90% of the time your flirting is smooth ( like butter ).

You'd challenge him into a duel of pickup lines.

Literally made his jaw drop from all the raunchy lines you were directing to him.

“Your lap looks so inviting, inviting me to sit on it and roll my hips till we can't take it no more”

You'd never shy away, despite you being serious when you flirt with him, you always manage to create an atmosphere of lightheartedness for both of you ( definitely not others cuz they're whether cringing or shaking their heads in disappointment).

You'd always incorporate humor into your flirtation to the point that he thought that you're only joking and not really into him.

Geto would do you a favor and knock some sense into him, making him realize that you're actually giving him hints and not teasing him just for fun.

“Can't believe you're this dense Satoru”

“I- I thought she was just being playful”

The moment he knew, you had actual feelings behind your flirting, you'll start having an intense effect on him.

Geto would start teasing him, leading the conversation on to get you to flirt with him.

“So y/n who do you think is more handsome, me or Satoru?”

“Well Suguru you're handsome of course, but Satoru is the typa handsome that I would let him spank me with his belt and make me flow on the inside out”.

Their mouths would hang open from your extreme dirty simping.

His face would be crimson red, exposing him and betraying his attempt to look unfazed.

But he couldn't hide it, the effect you had on him was stronger.

“Satoru blushing? No fucking way” Said Shoko.

Geto is the sweetest he would help you with it.

After class you'd play Spin The Bottle and he managed to get you both together.

Would shove you both inside the closet, barely containing both of you.

He's a giant, big boy ( I need A big BoOoY).

You'd smirk “Finally, my moment has come”.

( I mean I'd pass out of excitement if I had 7 minutes in heaven with GOJO SATORU).

“So um D-do you h-hav”

“Why are you stuttering Gojo?”

“Fuck it” he would mutter, slamming his lips on yours, kissing the living shit out of you.

“Is this what you wanted huh?” he'd ask.

“Well if I'm being honest...I want more” you'd say with a mischievous smile.

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.10 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover III

I can't believe we're on part 10 already 😭😭😭

| Masterlist |

"How could I? I didn't have my phone?" the girl asked slightly panicked,.

"That's because you had mine," Lando spoke up, tapping on his phone, "You logged into your account from mine," he said showing it to the girl.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?" She yelled.

"BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE FUCKING ROAD AND LOGAN AND ARTHUR COSPLAYED SPIDER-MAN" He yelled back.

"Okay, okay," Max put his hands up to calm the two down, sometimes they were so similar he'd want to ask if Lando had a twin separated at birth, "Lando, what did she post?"

"oh oooh, this going to be fun," the boy said, switching to the girl's profile.

its_y/n_love

liked by 21,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri

its_y/n_love me with my Pookie bears everyone say thank you Oscar for paying the Hospital bills 😍

view all 10,874 comments

usernamei SHES GIVINGGG

username she ATE

username they're her pookie bears 😭 she's so unserious I unironically stan her

username a grown woman calling grown men pookie bears 😒 username fr like oscar had to pay for HER hospital bills username he literally payed for Arthurs too but yall ain't gon say none abt that

its_y/n_love

liked by 501,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/landonorris

its_y/n_love LANDOOOOOOOOO why he always with his boy tho 🤨

view all 20,874 comments

username omg she's literally living my dream 😫

username fr god i've seen what you've done for others

username omg she's freeloading off him now too?

username give it up she literally just their friend username and even if she wasn’t why would yall treat her differently than any other wag? username look at her man she's literally using them for fame and money

"Well, that wasn't as bad," y/n shrugged.

"That's cause you didn't have your camera roll," Logan snapped back, finally feeling a little more human, the hangover easing down.

"Look who's talking," the Aussie came to y/n's defence, "You're lucky you didn't have YOUR phone," Oscar called out, making the American's face turn red.

"Damnnn Oscar!" The girl praised, colour returning to his face, all were slowly returning to normal, even Arthur had found his way back to the table. Seeing this, the two older men Max and Charles ordered for the table, while Lando, went through more of Y/n's Instagram with the group.

"Honestly, the response isn't that bad, and our PR officers won't murder us, sooo we're good," he said, smiling and logging out of her Instagram account.

"Oh my god," The Monganeseque boy spoke up after being missing for almost half an hour, " I don't think we ate last night," he said shoving the food in his mouth.

The older men expected one of the other three to corroborate the boy's words but they just witnessed four twenty-somethings guzzling down food and large glasses of OJ, lifting plates to slide food into their mouths, letting runny egg yolks and bacon grease getting over their face and hands.

"Fucking hell," Max snarled, "it's like watching animal planet or something,"

"It's disgusting is what it is," Charles agreed, "MERDE ARTHUR, MAMAN RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!" He yelled at his brother who was currently dipping a rolled up pancake in orange juice.

"Oh mate that's fucking disgusting," Y/n scoffed but then followed suit.

"Both of you are insane," Logan cried out, his accent thick, but failed to notice his own disgusting plate, dipping his bacon in maple syrup.

"ugh, there is something mentally deficient with all of you," Oscar frowned.

"Big words for someone mixing coffee into their oj," Lando cringed, taking a photo of the four and their disgusting eating habits.

"I- I can't look at this, I'm leaving," Charles gave up, holding up his hands in surrender, "I have a meeting at Ferrari anyways,"

"Bye, Charles!" the table chorused.

"Oh shit, it's 11am already?" Max called, looking at his watch, "I've got debrief at noon, see you next race, yeah Y/n?" He patted the girl's shoulder as he left.

"Never, again, ever." She yelled out, behind the man, making him laugh.

"Wait really?" The American looked over, bacon in hand.

"Nah, but like I've got uni and stuff and I've been going Arthurs races as well so, I'll probably be back by Britain or Netherlands," she explained.

"Oh yeah I forgot you still go to uni," Lando said.

"Not all of are millionaires cause of our fast vroom vroom cars," she spit back.

"yeah, yeah, " he waved off, "Oscar, Zak's told me to babysit you till our flight tomorrow so you don't do something or someone," he wriggled his brows, smirking at his teammate, making him roll his eyes, "you regret, so let's go and leave that disgusting abomination here," he said pointing to the coffee-orange juice.

"Guy's I don't know about y'all but I'm going go and pass out in the room till next year," The girl said, pushing away from the table.

"Same," The two boys followed.

oooooh this was ✨✨✨ but next we have the summer break chapter 🤭

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com

[kaistarus]

My Fic Recs

South Park

Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space (gremlinteeth)–(Creek-complete(137k)–this is quite literally the greatest fic in existence. ‘but South Park is cring–’ shut your mouth, get over it, and read this masterpiece. The character/relationship development, worldbuilding, symbolism, characterization?? I still get emotional listening to “Wouldn’t It Be Nice.” by The Beach Boys.... Like what?!? I cannot wait for the day that I have forgotten enough of this fic that I can reread it again properly. IDC what fandom you’re from read this fic.

Me, You, And Time(HelplessRomantic_2)--(Creek-complete(13k))--There are a lot of fics on Craig and Tweek’s development using canon moments in the show and I think this one does it best. Characterization, realism, character/relationship development, friend group dynamics. It’s just a great fic overall. Love it

Family Is What You Make Of It(Mareepysheepy)--Creek-complete(17k))--This fic is unbelievable. It’s an absolute masterpiece of a take on the Tucker family dynamic and how Tweek has fit into their lives. The unconditional love they have for each other and Tweek’s support for Craig. It’s one of my favorite Tucker family fics and the writing itself is phenomenal

Life In Color (BlameCanada)-@blame-canada-Creek-Complete(2k)--This is so artistically written and underappreciated. It’s a shorter one-shot, but their ability to take Craig’s monotonous descriptions to show how his worldview and outlook literally change with Tweek around is beautiful. Gives me that chest achy lovey feel and cannot get enough

Your Eyes, My Nose (PinkFan_Gurl)-@pinkfan-gurl-Creek-Incomplete(75k)-I admit, I was a little hesitant at first because babies, but I gave it a chance and OH my god I’m so glad. The writing style is fantastic, the characterization is phenomenal, there are unique relationship dynamics, and most importantly we get dopey Craig who is so in love with Tweek it’s embarrassing. I flip out when I see there's an update in my inbox. Not complete, but still updates 🙂

A Beautiful Sight, We’re Happy Tonight (@tlinrookie)-Creek-Complete(13k)--I am so obsessed with this fic, it's just so fucking good and one of my favs. Post-high school hook-up into insecure/awkward flirting? It’s so well done and realistic as a concept that if someone told me this actually happened to them in college I’d believe it. I love that in my fics. And once again, awkward blushy Craig <3

press pause (pink2d)--Creek-complete(13k)--Just Craig overwhelmed with his newly developing feelings through fantastic writing and emotional description. He just wants to kiss his boyfriend but can’t stop overthinking literally everything. I LOVE the author’s use of little details and actions to show love and build up on Craig’s end, gives you a chest achy emotion

Anyone Else But You(@fruitloopzed)-Creek-Complete(3k)--One of my fav meet cutes. I’m always a sucker for love at first sight, but Craig seeing a cute boy at five-years-old and his first instinct being to rizz them up with red racer? What a concept. Genius. It’s so cute and actually writes them in character for their age which is well done

Nervous young inhumans(tweakers)-Creek-Incomplete(136k)@tweakerist--Have you ever wanted Craig to be hopelessly in love, but literally everyone and their grandma knows except him? Well, I have the fic for you! lmao seriously tho Craig is an idiot. but his and Tweek’s relationship dynamic/development is so good. I will reread some interactions like ten times cause they’re so cute and funny. So if you also like dialogue/interactions sign yourself up. It’s incomplete, but author updates regularly!

Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun

More Trouble Than You’re Worth(@voidjelli)–Amanene-Complete(183k)- Have you ever wanted as many fanfic tropes as possible shoved into one beautifully written fic? Well I've got the story for you! lol I’m personally obsessed with ‘he’s so in love with her it’s pathetic’ so this fic kills me. The writing is phenomenal and the characterization/relationship buildings are amazing. I’m a sucker for good friendships and fun group dynamics which this fic is filled with AND there’s  a prequel Last Call(7k)

Undertow(Kawffee)-@kawff33-Amanene-Complete(96k)--The amount of effort and research that must have gone into this fic astounds me. Like a mystery/romance with a small-town island setting, Nene doing Orca research? I learned so much. The writing is astounding, the concept is fantastic, it was so fun to read, and I’m amazed it exists as just a fanfic tbh

[lueurjun]

youtuber bf sunghoon

youtuber!sunghoon x reader! in which he is a world renowned youtube star with millions of subscribers but his favourite person will always steal the spotlight — requests are open officially now if you want something specific:)

honestly i see him being one of those youtubers that started posting when they were a kid and just grew a huge fan base from there

like hes been posting since he was like eleven and now hes 20 with over 15 million subs

yes. i’m giving him 15 million. he deserves more. subscribe to him rn

and you’re not on the youtube scene until the two of you start dating

but how you met is actually filmed

he was filming a vlog with his friends and they decided to film a basketball vid for heeseung’s channel

now sunghoon isn’t bad at basketball but he isn’t the best

so you can probably see where this is going

if not then… you were innocently passing by the court when the ball flung over the high gate and smacked you in the side of the head

you wanted death to welcome you

really you could’ve curled up in a ball

pain and embarrassment you didn’t know which was worse

“riki stop laughing- oh my god-”

you couldn’t really see that well but you managed to make out multiple figures on the court standing still just staring

one of them had their hands slapped over their mouth so you assumed that one was riki

someone was leaving the court but you couldn’t make out it it was one person or two because your vision was off

poor you just wanted a slushie to cool you down

you ended up walking away with bf tho so let’s be real… getting slapped in the head was worth it

“i’m so sorry- are you okay?”

“oh no. it’s fine. cant see but you know… it’s all good”

you little people pleaser you

the person takes your hand awkwardly to try and steady you

because that ball had knocked off your entire balance

thats so embarrassing for you im so sorry for doing this to you BUT ITS FOR THE PLOT! you’re gorgeous enough to get through it, your face card never declines bae just take it in stride

after a few moments your vision settled and you were finally able to focus on the boy

and boy was he fine

suddenly the embarrassment seemed worse than the pain

because a really hot guy just watched you get a ball to the head

“do i need to take you somewhere to get checked? you don’t have a concussion right? i didn’t kill you or anything?”

the only thing he killed was your ego

despite insisting that you’re fine, he convinces you to let him buy you a slushie as a makeup gift

cue the annoying wolf whistles when his friends see the two of you walking away together

sunghoon flips them off forgetting all about the video he was supposed to film for heeseung

and you best believe that long legged mf kept that part in the vid

anyways the two of you get a slushie together and he tells you all about his channel and eventually when it’s time for you to head home

he asks if he can see you again

and you’re just like *debby ryan meme* who me?

that was horrifyingly cringe i am so sorry

skipping past that, you are not about to turn this man down so you agree and a date is scheduled

moving on from how sunghoon was blessed with your existence, let’s get into your relationship — my favourite part;D

his fans absolutely adore you as they should

im your biggest fan tho don’t forget that pls

literally his stans beef with him asking if he can fight

no but fr can he because i’ll get my boxing gloves on rn

sorry sorry

videos with you always get a lot of views but there isn’t many of them since he does value privacy and is quite protective

theres like a video with you once every six months and then you’ll just make the odd appearance in the background

his friends LOVE having you in their videos tho bc you bring in them views bc everyone loves you so much

ultimately as much sunghoon would like to protect and shield you, he knows you are your own person and let’s you decide whether you want to be in their videos or not

most of the time you’re like sure because it’s fun

there’s definitely fan made compilations of sunghoon being an absolute simp for you

THE FAN EDITS!!! THE FAN EDITS!!!

you literally sit and watch them before you go to sleep

ngl id do that too i don’t blame u

the video of you being knocked out by the ball is an iconic moment in his fandom

his friends bring it up any chance they get

“remember when sunghoon knocked all of the brain cells out of their head?”

“what brain cells? they had none to begin with.”

cue you throwing a pillow at the youngest for that comment

“you’re like 6! go learn how to read.”

ni-ki definitely sees you as an older sibling and as much as he teases you, he adores you

the boy literally threatens sunghoon whenever you aren’t around

“i swear if you mess up this relationship and make me a child of divorce, i will roundhouse kick you”

sunghoon just snorts but he knows he will never ever hurt you

because the idea of breaking your precious heart genuinely fills him with dread and nausea

also because me and ni-ki have a y/n protection squad going. we’ve got your back ml don’t worry

sometimes he films for hours and then goes straight to editing with no breaks so you always supply him with some water and snacks

that definitely convinces him to take a break because he just needs to kiss all over your face for being so darn amazing

you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him

isn’t sappy often but he has his moments where he’ll remind you of how much he genuinely loves and appreciates you

those little declarations always make you sob

and now i’m gonna sob because you’re both just so in love

definitely the internets favourite couple

now that’s over, excuse me whilst i go slide down a wall and cry of loneliness:)

small end note — had this in the drafts for a while and i’m not too keen on it but it took some time to do, so here we are. also thank you for all of your support recently! i’m very grateful and appreciate of you! much love! :)

[gamerwoman3d]

Welp. It's been fun but I gotta go to horny jail for about the next thousand years or so. Holy fuck.

[Spicy/Explicit AND gifs AND gore under the cut 🔞]

Original video:

[And not to brag but yes I did get a flawless victory over him in that ridiculous Seasonal Tower in Invasions mode. Watch the whole thing if you want to find out how.]

Okay. It is horny hours.

They objectified the fuck outta this man in this fatality and honestly? Kudos.

This hit me in all the kinks at once. No trigger warnings past this point read at your own risk

On screen, the whole thing about Shang Tsung pouring pain-inducing liquid on Sub-Zero's chest reads like hot wax. It reads like overstimulation and forced climax. Omg his hips... the way Shang Tsung watches/monitors him almost gives the viewer permission and encouragement to do the same. It's as if Shang Tsung is telling us "I'm enjoying watching this man writhe and spurt and lose his mind. I'm enjoying it immensely, actually. There's no reason not to do so."

We get so many of Sub-Zero's expressions. That's the more intimate part - the part most often censored in any kind of porn is the man's face, as if it's illegal for them to display any kind of expressions. As if they might accidentally leak proof of an actual emotion, it is too taboo even in the realm of porn to show the guy's face. That's what makes this particular piece of art-violence unique: it's usually a woman cringing in fear and pain and dread at the brink of being devoured by a monster that is simultaneously a vagina dentata and also phallic. [See: Ripley, Aliens.]

So we get to see his face in part pain, part fear, part on the brink of death, all the way through a symbolic climax, until literally he's getting his mind blown. And it's kinda amazing.

As for the other kinks this scene is reminiscent of, I'm personally not a big fan of being tied down but exceptions can be made - I'm into it if he is. There's the dom/sub[-zero hah] element of Shang Tsung having autonomy while Sub-Zero can only watch and pray [he kinda mouths 'oh my god' - right? if you read lips, lmk]. Not into the power imbalance part but Shang Tsung's enjoyment of the situation itself is also kinda arousing.

The final bit is the blood/birth stuff. Skipping the mpreg stuff [Barbara Creed has all this covered in The Monstrous Femme, check it out from a library], the blood stuff is... well its a kink for some. For me there's only one week a month where seeing blood on his nose is acceptable 😝

And yea I'd still sit there if the enthusiasm was mutual. Damn snake beat me to it this time tho.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

✨ episode 1/2 - running commentary✨

- ok so im slightly disappointed that it's the eps i watched in the screening BUT IM DETERMINED TO LOVE IT ANYWAY SO WE REMAIN OPTIMISTIC AND WE MOVE~~

- angel crowley is so young and innocent my poor boy he's been through so much

- like now im watching it, it feels like putting it in a cinema was a Bad Choice and maybe that's why I didn't like it??? it feels way more authentic and cosy on tv

- im sorry but crowley sounds like such an old man in the park scene, "frozen peas... it's good for them too🙂"

- seriously this is so much more palatable on tv format i can't get over it

- OH MAGGIE I LOVE YOU

- aziraphale god bless ur little cotton socks

- god crowley's legs got me SWEATIN

- ugh crowleys hand in the cafe is so FRUITY

- lmao "purely selfish action" aziraphale is so self aware and I love it

- no im sorry but goob is the fucking star of the show you cannot change my mind but dialogue and delivery wise he is currently CARRYING

- Dartmoor mention had me creasing, that's literally on my doorstep

- aziraphale's bitchy ass face then he sits down in the backroom honestly watered my crops and healed nature

- okay im sorry but the dialogue is still a little off for me I won't lie💀

- beelzebub's accent is just 😘👌 perfect, but equally feel like they'd be perfect in a production of oliver

- god believe me i feel for nina but... I... do not like her, and they are NOT suited for each other at all

- I LEARNT MY PASSION IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED SCHOOL OF LOVER BOYS

- that dance is so low effort I'm sorry it should have been the macarena or cha cha slide

- crowley's bow tho is so hot he's so graceful he looks like a swan

- and yeah the refs to the other years that aziraphale did the dance is GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS ugh

- he and goob are like cats on a hot tin roof like IMMEDIATE hissing vibes

- lmao ok so that episode does end there then... such a weird ending im sorry but yeah let's fully retract the alternate episode theory (but @prime you need to hire me for s3 just a thought bc 👀)

- anyway ep2 I'm sorry but the angelic herald speech thing is cute and funny but also so cringe hmmm

- gabriel is lord farquaad ugh

- I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS IS A COMEDY UGH but i miss the slightly serious undertones in s1 sob god I hope they come back later on

- UGH THE TURTLENECK🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

- shax is mommy I don't make the rules

- I noted it in the screening but angel wings for earrings, Maggie????

- nice job on the lie aziraphale well done once again making excellent choices you're so smart and valid (utter moron)

- "SOUNDS A BIT UNLIKELY" LMAO GET FUCKED CROWLEY

- oh goob you really are going through it my bby I love u

- crowley's face after may god forgive you KILLS ME this scene is honestly the stand out one in both ep1 and ep2 if you ask me

- TY TY TY god bless u but you also make me so uncomfortable

- jobs youngest kid truly gives me life

- lmao the fact that aziraphale does actually recognise when crowley tempts him is hilarious tho bc he just conveniently disregards it by the bench scene in s1 hmmm character development or character regression WHO KNOWS

- ok no I'm sorry but the mukbang scene is so unnecessary and uncomfortable

- "whack the kids" honestly the best line of this scene imo, but upon reflection and rewatching it, crowley's demeanour is rather heartbreaking whilst he's reclined getting ratted

- FRANCES FRANCES FRANCES ✨💓

- 'but just to be able to ask the question' UGH CROWLEY STOP

- lmao shoemaking and obstetrics what a combo god bless

- THEY CAN ARRIVE AT ANY SIZE lmao and Michael is too sharp for their own good... but I do hate that gabriel is utterly inept, he came across as cruel and calculating if a little ignorant in s1 but not this comedically stupid

- "yes I bloody am" TY MY LOVE

- Michael sheen and David Tennant deserve nominations for the children swap scene alone, imo the strongest bit of acting in the ep im sorry 'you have my word as an angel' KILL ME

- why is nina obsessed with crowley, like I get it babes but also why

- THEY ARE SO MARRIED MT PARTNER AND I ARGUE OVER THE CAR ALWAYS "our car" LMAO 💀💀💀

- ✨✨✨IT WAS A NICE DAY, ALL THE DAYS HAD BEEN NICE✨✨✨

- ok the rock scene is so much more emotional on tv, so much better

OKAY RIGHT EP3 LETS HAVE ITTTTT

[yuminumi29]

I just watched inside out 2 and it was amazing. It was a good movie, you guys should 100% watch it!

!!SPOILERS!!

Okay guys first of all I really liked how they did the new emotions and how anxiety acts. It was pretty good and oof that last minutes of the movie, THAT IS WHEN I DECIDED THIS MOVIE WAS JUST AMAZING. They have done pretty well showing how anxiety in real life feels like. I really saw myself when I was watching that scene. Like the heart poundings, the stress...EVERYTHING. It's literally how anxiety feels like, they have done absolute great job doing it. When I was watching it I felt slowly tears were coming to me and yeah I did shed some tears. That scene was just amazing. I love it. The way anxiety acts was so good, I know I am saying it again but AAAGHH THEY HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB! Probably it is my favourite scene in the movie. It was literally a chef's kiss to the movies ending. OH MY GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH, IT'S SO GOOD AHEGAJDHJQHDNS

Besides from that first I thought this movie was going to be cringe and all the emotions were going to get on my nerves. But no. None of that happened. They were pretty fine and I really liked how embressment helped sadness. I knew that they were going to bond because of the trailers. He was cute. Envy and Ennui(I hope I wrote it right) were also great characters, they were pretty enjoyable. I like how ennui acted after sadness took their phone. It's literally me when I can't find my phone. Envy was nice too, but they could have done her show more jealousy. And anxiety was literal anxiety like this movie portrayed all emotions so well. I can't believe it was this reletable(Especielly that anxiety attack scene). Yea that is all. I ADORE THIS MOVIE. It was soooo good. I would watch it again even tho I have watched it just a hour ago. It was just amazing. Loving this movie.

ALSO I LOVE THAT SCENE WHERE THEY GET BOTTLED UP AND SEE RILEYS ZELDA LOOKING CHARACTER CRUSH, THAT DORA THE RABBIT DUDE AND THE BIG DARK SECRET IT WAS SO FUNNY. I LIKED ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THERE. IT WAS SO GOOD. THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT.

[akalikai]

TMAGP EP 16 REACTION (SPOILERS)

CELIA HOLDING ALICE HOLY SHIT MAN THE SAMALICELIA POLYCULE IS GOING SOMEWHERE I also think this might be Celia's instinct to comfort from being a mother maybe??? BUT ALICELIA FEELS. My God their ship name could be a palindrome. Insane.

DEAR LORD DID ALICE SEE HER PARENTS DIE???? MY POOR GIRL.

Tape recorder is gone??? And yeah I suspected that the woman had been dead the whole time. Something was using her as a mouth piece, maybe something relates to ep 11 with the deep??

I think Celia and Sam saying they believe Alice is gonna bring them closer. I know people are sus of Celia so it could be a ploy to get closer to the OIAR employees, but I don't know, with her disliking Lady Mowbray, I'm more inclined to trust her.

The fact that Alice says "paid my horror dues" makes me think she knows more about said horrors and is working at the OIAR specifically to avoid it. Were her parents killed by The Horror?

"I think there's plenty of it go around at the moment" Yeah she's talking about Lady Mowbray. Seriously, I have respect for Celia, she really stood her ground last episode.

Man the fact that we were like "omg what if Alice's phone call ends up being a statement!!" In a serious way meanwhile Alice is like "yeah no Freddie will probably spit out in a few days so nothing to be concerned about". What if. Tho. Gwen ends up hearing the phone call. That would be interesting. Speaking of, where is our corporate girlfailure.

Sam you awkward little bean I love you. I'm sure Celia and Alice just gave him the fondest, "You're such a dumbass" look.

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER TIME????

OH NO. OH NO FUCK AM I GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH INK5OUL. THEIR VOICE.

I'm sorry I now understand what Alex meant when he said this episode was social-cringe-horror. The misuse of AAVE is actually so accurate please help my I'm on the floor screaming this should not be this funny-

Damn so does Ink5oul tattoo....pain or something? I don't have a tattoo myself (yet. I'm gonna get one. As soon as I stop being squeamish about needles. Oh. Needles.) But I don't think they're meant to hurt THAT much???

...I genuinely SHOULD NOT like Ink5oul this much. Please. You cannot do this to me I cannot have a Michael Part 2.

OH MY GOD ITS A YOUTUBER DRAMA VIDEO IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE I CANNOT BE LAUGHING THIS HARD.

I'm sorry THE SITUATIONSHIP FUCKING SENT ME YOU'RE TELLING ME INK5OUL IS IN A SITUATIONSHIP WITH A GOTH GIRL INFLUENCER PLEASE RUSTY QUILL I NEED TO BE SERIOUS I CANNOT DO THIS.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I CANNOT DO THIS I HAVE PAUSED 7 TIMES NOW JUST BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD TO KEEP HEARING. INK5OUL IS HOT AND A GOTH CONFIRMED.

Shut up. SHUT UP. NOT FUCKING DIG. ARE YOU SERIOUS. NO WAY.

Also let me add all the video sound effects are taking me out I LITERALLY cannot do this PLEASE-

OH MY GOD. WAIT. IS THIS WHEN INK5OUL WAS LOOKING FOR THE BODY WITH THE TATTOO FROM EP 11. HOLY SHIT.

"Hell no i ain't gonna call it in" girl by making the video you are basically calling it in what the fuck

THE YOUTUBER DRAMA IS TAKING ME OUT PLEASE THIS IS SOME NICOCADO AVODACO VS STEPHANIE SOO TYPE SHIT (Stephanie Soo all the way honeyyyy).

So...Does Ink5oul have the ability to make people feel pain through the tattoos they do? It's seeming like that's the case.

"The views are cutting me" HUH???? THATS. LIKE. THE EDGES ARE CUTTING ME??? WHAT IS HAPPENING??? HELLO?????

IS SHE DYING. THATS HORRIBLE RN WHAT THE FUCK ALICE LITERALLY JUST SAW SOMEONE DIE NOW SHE HAS TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE DIE????

Okay wait now that Sam has let go of his "be professional" bullshit I'm back on his track SAMALICELIA LETS GOOO

THERE SHE IS THE CORPORATE GIRLFAILURE

Ohhhh Lena. Oh boy. I can understand her tbh, Gwen has no idea what's happening and she's just doing her own thing. Whether she's evil or not, Lena still knows better what's going on and can avoid unnecessary risks. Especially since Lena does seem to care if other employees get hurt.

I SEE HOW IT IS GWEN. SO YOU'LL BE HORRIFIED BY MR. BONZO BUT NOT OF THE CANNIBALISTIC HUNTING WOMAN BECAUSE SHES A LADY OF THE ARISTOCRACY. CLASSISM AT ITS FINEST. I HATE MR. BONZO BUT AT LEAST HES A WORKING CLASS...CLOWN MONSTER THING.

Okay so the Externals are like. A Thing here. Kind of like avatars? I'm not saying in the sense of fears, I mean they're beings that are not human anymore and possibly dangerous.

Wait but I understand Gwen though "You can't take this away just because I did something you never bothered to tell me not to do" this happens to me so much Gwen my babygirl you are So Autistic.

I saw someone say that Gwen needs to be dommed. I cannot say I disagree, especially when Lena tells her to sit down. Anyway we're gonna move away from that thought.

I am not joking. I paused a total of 17 times throughout this episode because I started laughing too hard. I think I have a new favorite episode.

[intynidad]

yandere oc

Isaac the customer 

it was a quiet evening that day, the cafe you worked at was in a slow period and you were enjoying yourself listening to music behind the counter.

That's until the bell indicates the appearance of a new customer. you sadly put your headphones away and prepare yourself to go into your Costumer-service mood.

“hi, and welcome to the magnolia cafe. what can I get started for you?”

“ill take my usual, Y/N.”

“oh! sorry, Isaac I didn't notice it was you, so a black coffee with sugar and a cinnamon roll?”

I want you

“yeah, just make sure the cinnamon roll is not you, I don't know if I can handle all that sweetness” 

omg, that was so cringe why did I say that now they'll hate me I'm so stupid i-

“pff you are so silly, give me a minute and ill get back to you!”

of course, Isaac knew that it was a slow time

of fucking course he knew you were all alone in the cafe and it would be the perfect moment to strike up a conversation

he would be a fool if he didn't know, mainly because he has been watching you through the abandoned building a block away with his telescope 

you were just so pretty and so smart and he loves how you smell and how he wishes he could kiss youandholdyouclosebuthellprobablydieifhedoesthatomgtheyhopetheyarenotdroolingbutofcoursetheywoulddrollforyoulikehaveyouseenyourself-

“aac?”

huh?

“you got lost in your thought for a second there, haha”

“oh, umm yeah sorry about that. just a lot of work and I lost myself for a second”  lost thinking about you “what did you just say?”

“I said, here is your order”

“ oh yea thanks, sugar cube” I'm literally so cringe I wanna die

“Anything for my best customer,” you said giving him a small wink

oh how he adores you 

he remembers the first time he meet you. he was cold and shivering. a storm had broken up out of nowhere and he was fucking soaking.

he had taken shelter under the entrance of a small building. but before he could continue to curse his luck. the voice of a literal angel broke his thoughts

“my god! are you ok?”

he looks.

one blink

two blinks

three blinks

“Sir, are you ok?”

four blinks

“Please come inside, you'll freeze if you stay in the rain”

is he dreaming?

and then you take him by the arm and offer him a cup of coffee and a warm cinnamon roll.

is this what they call love at first sight?

a few days later Isaac comes back

and again

and again

and again

and again

and again

he becomes a regular. ordering the same thing you gave him the day your souls crossed paths 

if he wasn't so much of a coward he would ask you out 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The customer

Name: Isaac Barlowe

Age: 26 

Pronouns: He/they

Personality: an emotionless businessman that was bored of life until he meets his darling. life still sucks but not when he is with you 

Backstory: a man that works in the chemistry field. they got stuck into an endless cycle of monotony and boredom that made them uninterested in life and other people in general. That's until he meets you and you give him color to his life. he slowly starts to circle into more obsessive thoughts about you, since you are the only thing that makes him feel alive.

he realizes at some point that what he is doing is not healthy.

he doesn't like to call himself a stalker (he totally is). he is just so enamored with you that he H A S to see every beautiful movement you make. how can you be so breathtaking without trying 

Trivia: 

he actually doesn't like coffee

he is 6’2 ft

he has thought to use his knowledge in chemistry to drug that customer that is way too clingy for his liking. but then he remembers that you might get in trouble if somebody gets sick by eating on your cafe 

he has freckles (a little insecure about them tho)

[dansevilpianotea]

ramble ahead about time, tatinof, 2015 and changing one's life

tatinof is very special and im so happy they did this video to acknowledge that its not cringe at all and that theyre proud of their past selves !! there's sth genuinely healing about that !! ive had a hard time in 2015 and even tho i was 12/13 and just discovered that online fan communities of things i was into were a thing and was nowhere close to the phandom (i joined after BIG), this is the fandom internet that i joined back then. thats why its so poetic that they sing 'the internet is here', because to me this is the time it started to be there for me. it wasnt always kind to me and instagram was not a great platform to start on if your bullies and other ppl from school were also on it, but it was also when for the first time ever i realised that there were not only people who liked what i liked but that those ppl also have created their own culture and community online !! i was not totally alone !! there is a life outside of school !! i would never chose to go back to that time ever like it was horrible (that applies to any time in the past tho, i hate the idea of 'going back in time' with a passion) but im glad that the internet was there for me because no one else really was if im being real with you.

more below the cut because im an insufferable yapper (dan is a terrible influence haha tit joke)

this all is maybe why i find it hard to go back to watch dnps older content and also the stuff from the tatinof era. dan's sarcastic self-hating persona and phils innocent nerd persona are both hitting a bit too close to home and i want to both cry for them and for myself. we knew nothing back then. we were lost and yet did sth we were proud of. yet here we are almost 10 years later and how the fuck did we end up here but oh my god im so proud of us. all it took for me was to watch dan's coming out video. all it took for them was to be embraced and loved by their audience (us). dan also needed a break which is something that at the time it happend was really hard for me but then i found my wonderful lovely phannie discord friends here. we really all got here together and if i ever see any single person say that dnp hate us or dan hates it or that dnp are cringe or that we are cringe etc etc i will block you so hard because what are you even doing bringing up drama when in reality dan and phil and the phandom have developed the most remarkable symbiotic relationship between artist adn fans ever. they are our dads and i honestly just want to say how fucking proud i am of them for how far theyve come and what theyve done since 2015. dan really did the whole mental health and gay thing but then he did the mental health again!! and i think ywgttn and wad need to be given more credit here because idk if you remember pre-wad dan but he wasnt anything like post wad dan. every since wad he seems so happy and genuinely authetic and in peace. (im ignoring dystopia daily here because that was filmed before wad and his dd persona also reminds me too much of 2015 depressed dan than whatever high concept he was going for lol, im just not a dd fan). like wad changed his relationship with us and its warming my entire heart when i see dan smile so much now. he deserves to be happy and proud. and if dan deserved it after going through so much and coming out on top (literally), then i deserve it too. and phil? i love how he's just so confident now. fuck. (literally). he is not the innocent nerd anymore like he actually is fully really himself now and feels comfortable in his body (crop top, phlonde, etc) and openly expressing his sexuality ! even compare this phil to phil from the beginning of the hiatus!! he got so much more confident and relaxed since then!! like fully, really, if he can do it, if he can strip himself of the persona that ppl have attributed to him because of his anxiety, then i can do that too. im so proud of phil. he is an inspiration and the more he's being himself publically with no shame, the more an autistic phannie will feel hopeful for their future. im so proud of both of them.

like its crazy you go through your life thinking you're going nowhere and never making any progress and will never reach your goals but then you stop and look back what you were like 6 months ago and realise how many lives you have lived since then. it always goes back to BIG when dan said this:

[...] I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that's it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. I want anyone that's ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side.

this everyone, changed my life. and i will never be able to thank dan enough for it, no matter how much i pay for tour tickets, how often i watch their videos or share my love for them on here. i just want to mention this because its never just 'light entertainment', it means the world to many of us and we have build a wonderful and loving community despite the hardships of the past and pointless discourses of the present. like, we can change shit for ourselves because we see these gay idiots do it who have done soooo fucking much in the last 15 years like they were on radio 1 and on a hollywood billboard and hosted various big big events. and yet, they decided they want to use their time to do things for themselves and their community. they have said many times that they havent made a profit from (parts of) their tours but they do it regardless. they do really love us and i dont think ive ever really felt loved by people who i was in a fandom for like that. its really not as parasocial as it might seem anymore. we got here together and we should be proud of that. i love dnp and i love you phannies so much !! 💕💕💕💕💕