#oh my cute consort

[bitchkay]

Why is reading Graysons consort path reminding me of my deep, intense, pure, unconditional, deep seeded love for Thoma???

[bluenightfm]

sqh raising luo binghe bc the wash lady never happened bc the timeline's altered and subsequently mbj finds out or qinghua tells him (pre-established moshang) and qinghua is hmmn . freaking the fuck out bc wdym his stallion protag is a colicky newborn baby that won't go to bed unless he's rocked, swaddled, and cuddled by sqh (mobei-jun's heart shattered when baby binghe cried when sqh handed him off for a second before putting him to bed, he's still nursing his bruised ego) . this is his beloved if bloodthirsty son who is 75% cheek and 25% baby fat, it is a miracle he ever goes to his jobs when his son is so cute and tiny and why did he not write cameras into PIDW !!! no amount of portraiture would capture his sweet boy looking up at him all cute and tiny and never to be captured on camera. moshang being dads co-parenting binghe and everyone being confused bc everyone thought mobei-jun would finally marry and make qinghua consort shang but to each their own . co-parenting and then oh my god they're not even together yet are they? posing for family portraits together with romantic tension thick enough to start choking everyone out of the room. qinghua and mobei-jun looking next to dead bc binghe has never slept thru the night and sqh feels like he hasn't had a good night's rest since he transmigrated into PIDW . also maybe make it omegaverse

@coastinglove

[princeoftheeternalbog]

hiii

Could do nicknames one peice characters would call you?? Xx

I love you🫶 YES I WILL TEEHEE

Suggestive in Sanji and Namis part but mostly sfw!

I only did the strawhats this time but without further ado: petnames/nicknames op characters call you🫶

Luffy

I think Luffy would pick something really cute like flower, like in the morning when he tackles you out of your hammock to wake you up and he's like "GOODMORNING FLOWER :DDDD" while squishing you(😐).

OR he would refer to your future title aka consort of the pirate king(cocky mf). Even if you correct him like oh well you're not king of the pirates yet he just keeps saying 'but why can't I say it now' until you give up. LOVES when you call him my king or my sunshine, it makes him feel all gooey inside. He likes other nicknames too but those ones especially.

Zoro

Surprisingly a classic sort of guy, he'll call you hun or love, mostly always in private. But if he thinks someone is bothering you he'll purposefully say it really loudly like "oh hey LOVE I was looking for you" while glaring at the person.

Always says it in the softest, sweetest tone when you're alone. Seriously he's like some romance drama lead the way he's sighing around the word when he's holding you close. Blushes so pretty when you call him a petname back even if it's the most cringey, disgusting petname like pookie wookie. Like he'll cringe but still blush.

Sanji

Probably uses almost every name you can think of but especially darling, mon amour and sweetheart. Says them in every tone imaginable and he says them in a very specific way when you're alone, sometimes he'll say them that way in public to fluster you though (asshole🫶).

Jokes on him though because he folds really easily for the same trick. One time you said baby in that tone on deck and he tripped and fell over so... you're the real winner here. He likes to act very confident and he can be but he very often finds himself with wobbly legs around you- he can't help it you're just too fine.

Usopp

Babylove, sweetheart, pretty thing, YES I KNOW OKAY LISTEN JUST HEAR ME OUT- I just think once he gets over the honeymoon phase and he's comfy then he's smooth as fuck. Like this man is fine okay and once he knows what hes doing, he KNOWS yk. Always says them directly in your ear though🫣, he's still too shy to look you in the face while saying that sort of thing. Like he's slick but he's also sweating and trembling while he romances you.

Also he absolutely blushes bright red when you say anything of the sort to him. One 'hey pretty boy' and it's over for his blood pressure, one time he fainted and he was so embarrassed that he avoided being alone with you for a week.

Nami

Sunshine and treasure(in like every single language she can think of). Either says it in the sweetest tone ever or the most scary and she never uses your name unless she's really really scared or relieved (or during the...thing).

LOVES any and every nickname but if you say something cringe in front of somebody she makes you pay a fee😭. Fr 200 berry just for you to call her shnookems in front of Chopper, its mostly because the cringy nicknames somehow make her feel shy like omg you love me enough to confidently call me cuddle muffin ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ how disgusting (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾). But also she uses this money to buy you little gifts and trinkets so can you complain(yes).

Robin

Love, honey or sweetheart. Says it in this cute little sing song voice you didn't know she had and it's just so sweet and enticing fr she got you floating over there like a sailor drowning to a siren's song. But seriously if she's using a petname then you know she's in a really affectionate mood which means lots of touching and kisses!

Her favourite nickname that you call her is 'my wife'. Listen I think she's secretly quite intense romantically so hearing you defend her to someone by going "THAT'S MY WIFE" really does something to her heart. She tries for ages to trick you into saying it again so she can record it and listen back whenever she wants(You give her a recording for her birthday).

Franky

Babe, baby, cutie and probably something really corny like superstar🫶. Definitely the type of person to holler "THATS MY BABY✨✨" while you're kicking someone's ass and it's really embarrassing but simultaneously really reassuring.

And tbh a nickname is usually followed by a kiss, well actually most of his interactions with you are followed by a kiss- Anyways he loves it when you call him one back especially those classic ones like my love or darling, fr he's obsessed. Will absolutely tell everyone what you just called him and if he ever gets hit on he says some stupid dramatic shit like: "Only one person will ever call me their love..." Like shut up😭.

Brook

Dearheart. Iykyk. He finds dearheart is the only petname that even slightly encompass how he feels about you, and besides that he's a very classic guy. ALWAYS kisses some part of you after he says it, usually you're forehead because he's quite tall but sometimes he kisses your hand like some fairytale prince.

Blushes really easily at being called pet names especially more modern ones like baby, gently chides you for it but secretly loves it. It's like those clips of chopper where he pretends he's not flattered by a compliment😭 Brook is fr like "Oh my- please don't call me such things in public" while he's giggling like this:

Jinbei

Love, butterfly, starlight, dewdrop and anything that makes you flustered. He's secretly quite chaotic when he wants to be and he loves seeing you laugh so he tries to make you as happy as possible at all times. Despite how often he uses beautiful flowery language with you, he's quite shy with physical touch so he's stood like 6ft away going "My starlight you are prettier than anything in this world"😭.

Adores any pet name with the word my in front of it. Like my love, my baby, my man, he's just in love with you and he thinks he should be kissing you at all times! Sweetest man ever to be honest.

[oddeyevibes]

MK1 flirty Intros w/ Pro-Wrestler!Reader

(Featuring: Johnny Cage, Kung Lao, Raiden, Sindel, Kenshi)

Notes: Was lowkey basing reader off of Tina Armstrong from DOA. Reader and Johnny know each other because Reader’s success as a wrestler had them cameo in one of Johnny’s movies. One of Liu Kang’s champions.

Johnny Cage 🕶️

Johnny: Whatcha gonna do when Cageamania runs WILD on you?! 😎

Y/N: And this is why I didn’t come back for Ninja Mime 2 🙄

Johnny: I would love for you to be the Ms/Mr L/N to my Johnny Savage 🥴

Y/N: Why can’t you ask me out like a normal person? 😒

Johnny: How much for your championship belt?

Y/N: Come back when you survive Tommy the Hun. 😤

Y/N: You would NEVER last in MY ring, pretty boy. 🥱

Johnny: So you DO think I’m pretty. 😏

Y/N: Cage you have got to stop the wrestling puns.😒

Johnny: Don’t act like they’re not making you chuckle, tiger 🥴

Johnny: You know, I AM a bachelor again. 😏

Y/N: Hmm…but are you a suitable one? 🤔

Kung Lao 🎓

Kung Lao: My fighting prowess vs your circus act. 😏

Y/N: Lao have you ever been on the receiving end of a Crossface? 😤

Y/N: Are all farm boys as cute as you. 🥰

Kung Lao: *chuckles* No, I’m one of a kind. 😘

Kung Lao: I had heard wrestling was fake but that exploding barbed wire match was too brutal! 😨

Y/N: *laughs* Aww, look at you all worried. 🥰

Y/N: Y’know…I think I’d look good in your hat…and nothing else. 😉

Kung Lao: Hm?🤨….Oh!😐 Ohhhhh…😳

Kung Lao: After this match, you HAVE to meet Madam Bo! 😃

Y/N: Already taking me to meet your mother figure, are you? 😏

Y/N: Farm boy, huh? You must be good with your hands. 😏

Kung Lao: I’d like to think so.🥴

Raiden ⚡️

Y/N: My eyes are up here, Raiden. 🤭

Raiden: Yes!😳 I apologize!

Y/N: Y’know, I’m a sucker for farm boys.

Raiden: *tries to hide his blushing*

Raiden: It’s amazing how quick you initiate those holds.

Y/N: Thanks. I can show you a few if you want…privately of course.

Raiden: What did Madame Bo pull you aside for?🤨

Y/N: Oh you know…the usual…thinly veiled threats about what would happen if I broke your heart….maybe not so thin.

Kenshi🗡️

Kenshi: What do you see in Cage as a friend? 🤨

Y/N: He grows on you, trust me. ☺️

Kenshi: I’m not someone you should get involved with. 😔

Y/N: I know how to handle wise guys, Kenshi.

Y/N: I should’ve done more to protect you. 🥺

Kenshi: You cannot blame yourself for this, Y/N.

Kenshi: I caught one of your matches when you were in Japan. You’re technicality is impressive.

Y/N: Oh! 😯 Thank you! 😊

Kenshi: How did you get roped up into that Ninja Mime cameo?

Y/N: *groan* It was a favor to Cris.

Y/N: Sento doesn’t watch…does it?

Kenshi: I…..hadn’t thought of that.

Sindel 🔊

Sindel: Wrestling is a revered art form in Outworld. What about Earthrealm?

Y/N: Depends on your definition of revered. 😅

Sindel: Can you keep up?

Y/N: I won’t lose my breath, Empress.

Sindel: So already a champion? Interesting.

Y/N: Yeah, it’s not the same as Earthrealm champion but..yeah~🥰

Y/N: So Li Mei is…..👀

Sindel: *chuckles* it’s feels nice to have someone be jealous over me again. 🥰

Y/N: So how much work is there being a consort?

Sindel: About as much as being the Empress.

Y/N: Will Mileena and Kitana think this weird? 🥺

Sindel: They will come to love you, dearest. 🥰

[vermilionsun]

In my headcanons vere has a little problem with ppl who are driven by lust 🙋🙋 He has a disdain for Leanders "shameless" behaivor and straight up kills mc when they 'give in' in the demo (at least thats how i interpret it)

So i humbly ask for his reaction to an Mc who is just down bad for him in a silly kinda way. No innuendos no sexual comments just tomfoolery from mc, straight up leaning against the bar at the wet wick with a "ya come aroun here often ;D" and they slip and fall or something

i want mc to be down bad pathetic cause IM TOO, full on groveling at his feet (but cutely), the ex that shows up seranating at your door except they are not your ex you never dated them— wait why are they crying about my beauty —

You’re a G E N I U S.

I might need to make a part 2...

Pathetically-down-bad-for-Vere group, assemble!

Disclaimer! They/them for MC because we love inclusivity!

✦ “Jumpy, aren't you?”

The MC scans him up and down once again, eyes wide. “Damn… you come here often?" They wiggle their eyebrows, which earns them an amused chuckle from the Monster.

"Depends. Would you like me to come by more often, pretty one?”

“YES PLEASE–”

✦ When he presents the key to the MC, they proceed to walk towards him, a slightly dazed smile adorning their face. “So, how about I buy you a drink–” The MC proceeds to trip and fall in front of Vere’s feet.

✦ He lets out a breathy laugh before bending forwards to take the MC by the chin.

“Damn, I love that laugh already…:”

“You really should be more careful. City like this, someone might take advantage~”

“Huh... Yeah… whatever you say, beautiful.”

"Oh, eager, are we? You know, compliments like that might just convince me to make this a regular hangout." His ears flick.

✦ “What’s your name? or should I just call you mi–” The MC tries to get up but bumps their head on the small table next to Vere, who is desperately trying to stifle another chuckle.

"Careful, wouldn't want you hurting yourself this early on. Name's Vere. And yours, darling?”

“Your future partner, I hope,” they say, still somewhat dazed.

“Oh, is that so? You're pretty confident,” he comments, his tail swaying behind him, capturing the MC’s attention.

“Fluffy–”

“No.”

✦ “Tell me traveler, what brought you to this–”

“You,” they cut him off with a wink.

✦ “Unless you’re dying to consort with Monsters.”

“...I don’t like the way you said “consort”, but you’re not wrong. Sign me up—”

Vere: [Shocked Pikachu face]

✦ “Come, take my hand and we’ll go together.”

“Woah! Save the hand holding for after marriage!”

✦ “Do you like dancing? There’s a traveling troupe in Hightown tonight. Truly a performance to die for.”

“Are you asking me out?”

Vere looks taken aback for a moment, but before he answers, the MC chimes in; “Too late. You did.”

✦ “I know Eridia like the back of my hand—”

“oh, that’s why it looked so heavy…”

“...Uh, pardon?”

“May I help? I can hold it for you—”

✦ When Vere grabs them, nuzzling in their throat, murmuring threats, they almost faint in his arms in a dramatic “Now I can die happy” moment.

✦ When they meet again a few hours after, at the Wick, and Kuras mentions that he and Mhin were escorting the MC back, the MC walks forward into the light, only to end up tripping over their own feet and falling flat on their face… and once again, in front of Vere.

✦ “You seem more interested in having the floor as your object of attraction, do you not?” Vere asks with a sly smile.

“What can I say? You look good from this angle.”

“Wait, do you all know each other?” Leander looked confused between the people sitting at the bar. “You’ve met before?”

“We did. Not long ago either,” Ais considered his drink.

“I’m starting to suspect they’re stalking me,” Vere comments.

“If I were, I would have to say you're quite the elusive target," the MC winks at Vere as they try to get up, only to fall again. 

✦ Later, when Vere is alone at the bar, the MC slides onto the stool next to him. They rest their chin on their knuckles. “So, about that—” Their elbow slides on the smooth wood, causing them to stumble, trying not to knock over their drink. "Sorry about that," they say with a sheepish grin, trying to regain their balance. "So, about that drink?"

"Well, isn't that cute? I might just have to take you up on that offer."

✦ “So, you survived the night. Are you here for praise, or will a head pat do?”

“anYTHING JUST plEaSE–”

✦ When they arrive in the abandoned alley the MC tries to lean against the brick wall, only to smack their head.

✦ When they attempt to unbuckle his collar, he lashes out a hand, capturing theirs. “Tch. Don’t you know better than to touch without asking?”

“Can I please please please please—”

“No.”

“—please—”

“No.”

✦ Leander’s voice echoes from the Wick, and the MC glances behind them and back at Vere, only he’s gone. “...Not even a kiss good night 🥲?” They pout into the empty night air.

EXTRA: Modern era

✦ “Hey, can I call my phone from yours? I think I’ve lost it,” the MC looks at him with pleading eyes.

He raises an eyebrow and hands his phone over. When the MC presses call, their phone rings from their pocket.

“Thanks,” they hand his phone back.

He later finds out there is a new contact number under the name “My darling.”

[sassyandsodone]

Mother

(A bit of a character study of Raphael. A lot of mommy issues, and a look at his relationship with his father's consort, Baalphegor.)

Baalphegor was not the mother of Mephistopheles’s cambion brats. But she had known many of them. Some had seen her as a threat, some had seen her as a potential ally, she was not a mother to any of them. But she liked this little pup.

Raphael was bold for such a puny thing. Once he had survived to an age where he could talk, everyone in Cania quickly learned, he could not stop. Every situation he foolishly backed into, he tried to talk his way out of. And while child-like charm was hardly useful against hellbeasts, he did have a gift for convincing any that would crush him like an ant that his father actually cared about him. That was usually enough.

In spite of his age, or lack thereof, he did excell at magic, unsurprising really considering who the child’s sire was. Even at an age before he could read, Raphael could teleport, not exactly perfectly but he could do it. Teleporting seemed to be his preferred method of transportation as he got better at it. He was always appearing and disappearing without warning, something everyone in the palace had gotten used to.

So, as Baalphegor relaxed in her chambers, a book in her hand as she lounged on her settee, she barely even looked up when young Raphael appeared on her floor in a flash of cinders. She could hear him panting, breathless, he must have been running before he teleported himself to her.

“My, my, little prince,” she said, “what sort of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?”

Raphael picked himself up off the floor and brushed his hands across his clothes. He was still so young, she wouldn't even consider him an adolescent yet, merely a child. His horns were small and a second set was just beginning to grow in. He stretched out his little wings that had gotten ruffled with his fall.

“Gelugons are mean,” the child said, there was a huffing pretentiousness in his voice.

“No arguments.” Baalphegor turned the page of her book. “How exactly did you manage to upset one, pup?”

He huffed. “I'm not a pup.”

Baalphegor put down her book and looked at Raphael. It could not be said that most fiends cared for “cute” things but there was something very endearing to her about this child wrinkling his nose in disgust just like his father did.

“And yet, your fur is all ruffled like one. Sit. Let me fix your hair.”

Raphael’s nostrils flared as he gave another huff, but, like a good boy he came and sat on the settee. Baalphegor ran her fingers through his hair, catching her long nails on a number of tangles.

“So, what did you do to that gelugon?”

“I did nothing wrong,” he declared but Baalphegor highly doubted his assessment. “I am a son of Mephistopheles. It had no authority to bar me from going anywhere!”

She could still remember a time when Raphael couldn't pronounce his father's name. And she had been the one to coach him into doing it correctly, lest he insult his father to his face and incur his wrath.

“Oh dear,” she chuckled. “Did someone go snooping where he did not belong?”

Raphael stiffened, his tail flicked back and forth. Still too young to lie with complete confidence. His hand moved to his left pocket. He had something in there, didn't he?

“I'm a prince. There is nowhere I don't belong.”

He knew he had done something he wasn't allowed to. And he most certainly had taken something that wasn't his. Baalphegor smiled, one hand glided through his hair while the other summoned whatever he had in his pocket directly to her. A small crystal ball appeared in her empty hand.

Raphael quickly turned around feeling the item gone from his pocket.

She examined the sphere. It was dark as Abyss with reflections of scenes playing in it. A scrying tool. Her little prince seemed to be interested in spying on something.

“Oh dear,” Baalphegor said, “what would your father say if he knew his son was stealing from him?”

“I'm not stealing!” He twitched as he said it, though, not even believing this defense himself. “It's mine by birthright.”

“Mmhm, I'm sure your father will listen to that.”

Raphael reached for it, only for Baalphegor to make it disappear.

“Give it back!” Raphael huffed and his little wings flapped at her.

She smiled, a giggle escaping her lips. “Now, now, pup, that isn't how a devil would do things, is it? There is an exchange to be made. Or does your mother's blood dominate you?”

She knew that would stir him. The first insult that was always thrown at him was his half-human ancestry.

The little prince’s brow furrowed and he wrinkled his nose. “I am a son of Mephistopheles! I have nothing in common with sorry mortals!”

“Now, now, pup, we both know that isn’t true. And besides, for all its disadvantages, your mother gave you a great gift upon her death.”

He raised an eyebrow, quizzically, but said nothing.

“Her blood.” Baalphegor began to pet his hair again. “With your half-mortal blood, you were gifted a strong connection to the material plane. You can go where other devils cannot.”

He relaxed at her touch, his tail curling gently against her leg.

“The material plane is a trove of things we, devils, desire. And you, pup, can go and take it for yourself. You can slip between the planes.”

“I can?”

“Of course. If you're any good at magic, that is.”

His tail flicked. “Of course I am!”

Baalphegor gripped his shoulders. “Then why don't you prove it? I will give you back the crystal ball when you bring me a treasure from the Prime.”

Raphael was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking. “...what do you want from there?”

“Oh, pup,” she sighed, “never give your client a chance at getting more than they asked for. If you had taken my deal before, you could have brought me anything. Now, I get to name my price.”

“That's not fair.”

“Devils do not play fair.” She tapped a finger against his nose. “Well, since you need to learn a lesson…” she trailed off, considering what would teach her little prince best. “...bring me an item that belonged to your mother.”

His tail stiffened and a look of confusion blossomed on his face. “My…mother?”

“Do your ears not hear, pup? Yes. Your mother. She was from the material plane, some trinket of hers must remain there.”

“But…” he paused, breaking eye contact as he tried to word what he wanted to say. “But I don't know who she is.”

“Oh? Well, my apologies, pup. I had a thought a child of the Cold Lord would be smart enough and skilled enough to discover that information on his own. My mistake.”

She watched to see the anger build up in him. Little Raphael may have only been a child but his pride was vast as his ambition. She could see a rage building in his eyes, a fire to fuel him.

“I'll do it!” he snapped. “Lady Baalphegor, I swear to bring you the greatest trinket of my mother's I can find!”

She smiled. Her little prince would grow up to be great, she would make sure of it. Baalphegor snapped her fingers and summoned a parchment. The infernal ink glowed red, the terms of their little agreement laid out plain for the child to read.

“Just sign here, Raphael.”

—

The years had not changed her little prince. Not in the slightest. From childhood into his teenage years, his skills had progressed. He was exceptional at magic, and had developed a flair for song contracts (much to the annoyance of any who contracted with him.) His silver tongue had gotten out of more trouble than it had gotten him into. His fire never calmed, his ambition never dimmed.

Raphael was no longer constrained by Cania, he had become powerful enough that he needn't remain if he did not want to. The material plane was his playground. Raphael had even given himself a human form, to make it easier for him to do whatever he wished there. He galavanted across kingdoms. He performed music and poems in taverns across Faerun, though he had tried to hide it, he could not hide from Baalphegor’s scrying.

And all the while he had yet to deliver on his vow to her.

It wasn't as if she never saw him working on it. Many times she had caught wind of him being in places in Mephistar he shouldn't be looking for information on his mother. But, considering how smart the little prince was, it was surprising how long this was taking him. Now, it could not be said he had a particular need for the crystal ball she had taken from him anymore, he was more powerful than it was. But a devil must hold true to its word. So, she had faith Raphael would deliver.

Baalphegor was adjusting her appearance, gazing into her reflection in the mirror, when a second figure appeared. She did not hesitate or startle. Baalphegor knew who would intrude on her personal time uninvited. It was Raphael who had teleported behind her.

“Well, pup, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

He bristled at the nickname but let it go. She had called him “pup” his entire life, he no longer fought it like he had when he was young.

“Lady Baalphegor,” he said. Raphael carried himself professionally even though she knew it was a front. “I have come to fulfill our contract.”

A smile parted her lips and she stood to meet her little prince face to face. He was no longer so little, no longer did he sit by her side and allow her to play with his hair. He thought himself a man, a mature devil with immense power. She didn't have the heart to tell him he was still hardly more than an ant compared to those who ran in the same circles as him.

“So you have. Well, what have you brought me?”

Raphael did not smile back at her, his lips pursed tight like the grumpy little boy he was. He held out his closed fist and into her waiting hand, he dropped a single golden hairpin.

One look at it and Baalphegor could tell he had succeeded. The thing practically oozed magic, every perfect twinkle in the light was a miniature dancing lights spell attached to it. The pin itself was in the shape of a magic sigil, and it was warm to the touch, almost like it was alive.

Baalphegor secured the pin within her own hair. “Congratulations, Raphael.”

His expression was still dark. “...she was Netherese.”

So he had uncovered it. Baalphegor gave a small chuckle. “Sit down, pup. Tell me what you learned.”

She took a seat on her settee and, despite the bad mood he was clearly in, Raphael joined her.

“She was human. From Netheril.”

Baalphegor waited, letting him speak at his own pace. His gaze was worlds away, his eyes dreamy. She could tell he wanted to speak, wanted to regale her with the tale. But he was holding back.

“I saw the cities in the skies.The arcanists. The enclaves…” There was a reverence in his voice. He almost sounded proud. Proud of his mother's home. Proud of his mortal side.

That tone itself was more than enough to prove he was still a child. Still naïve.

“Would you have liked to live there?” Baalphegor asked. She kept her inflection gentle and welcoming, like she was luring a mortal into a trap. Perhaps she was. Perhaps that's all Raphael really was at his core. In which case, he would be better off purged.

The little prince gave her a sideways glance, eyes narrow. He seemed to have noticed the trap. But he, curiously, did not speak up right away. And Raphael always spoke whether he had something worth saying or not. It was clear, he was genuinely contemplating.

“...No,” he said after a worrying silence. His tail may no longer have flicked involuntarily but it was just as obvious that he was lying.

Still, Baalphegor waited for him to explain why, to affirm that Cania was superior in every way to those sky rocks, that Baator was the only realm that mattered. But he didn't. He didn't prove he understood the lesson, just told her what she wanted to hear. Baalphegor sighed. If her pup was to stand a chance he needed this lesson drilled into his skull.

“Do you think you could have had a life there?” Her voice was restrained, she wasn't yelling, she wasn't crying, but displeasure rang through her words.

“...what?”

“I asked you a question, Raphael. Do you think you could have had a life there?”

“...I—” he began but he did not meet her eyes. A liar.

“Look at me, pup.”

Raphael took a breath and looked into her eyes. He looked so human. His orange eyes were sparkling with the foolish human notion of hope.

“...There was a wealth of things to learn there.” His voice was weak, small, just like him. “I was there for only a day and I saw things I never knew possible.”

Baalphegor smiled, her tone staying calm even as she contemplated punishments for him. “There is much more to learn here, little prince. All the souls in that empire aren't worth one book from our Archduke's library.” She chuckled. “Yet I know you and your ilk.”

Raphael quirked an eyebrow at that line.

“You're a creative, a dreamer, a sensitive sort. You've been living in fairy tales since you were old enough to read them.” She turned her gaze from him. “Perhaps you're right.”

“Lady Baalphegor?”

She put up a beautiful false smile. “I mean it. If you think you belong there, who am I to argue it? I'm not your mother. How could I be? I am a pure devil; you don't resemble me in the slightest.”

He bristled.

Baalphegor pressed ahead. “Your sensitive nature could have flourished in the prime. You'd never be studied in magic, no. Why would you need to be? You'd be nothing. But you could play your music, just like you do now when no one's watching you.”

She looked back at him and watched as he swallowed a lump in his throat.

“You could sing your tales of greatness that would be worthless outside of your empire, your city, your filthy taproom. But you'd have admirers of course. There are always types who fetishize monsters.

“And be assured, Raphael, you would be a monster. Your devil wings, such a lovely feature your father gave you, they would be nothing but a lead weight around your ankle. I suppose you could always say a prayer in the dead of night to those gods mortals seem to love worshipping that some hero would come and slice them, rend them from your back. Then you'd look like a common tiefling. And no one would be able to tell the difference.”

“No.” Raphael’s voice was stern, commanding, devilish. “You will not speak to a son of Mephistopheles in that way.”

She smiled. “A son of Mephistopheles and who, exactly?”

Raphael did not flinch, did not falter and she knew her lesson had reached him. “A son of Mephistopheles and a mortal broodmare whose only contribution to any realm was dying to birth someone far greater than she could ever be.”

Baalphegor pushed a stray hair behind his ear and leaned in to gently kiss his forehead. “That's right, pup. Never forget. You are superior to them in every way. Bearing you was the only good thing your mother ever did. Would you like to know what our lord did with her soul?”

His eyes did not sparkle. There was no place for hope in them. But they burned. They burned with his ambition, an insatiable fire.

“It doesn't matter.”

“Correct.” Baalphegor stood up and gestured to the hairpin she wore. “Pretty as she might have been, this is just as pretty. And it is worth more. I think you could sell it for 10 soul coins. Ten times what its owner was worth.”

Raphael stood. “Thank you, Lady Baalphegor. But I'd only give you 3 for it.”

“A hard bargainer.” She smiled. Her little prince would be great. She just knew it. “Alright.” She removed the hairpin, her lesson finally taught. “Shall we call it a deal?”

Raphael snapped his fingers and summoned an infernal scroll. “Just sign here.”

[conkers-thecosy]

Hullo! 💛 I know it was a few weeks ago since I posted my fic rec list, but here's the promised compilation of unfinished WIPs that I'd like to recommend, at last! Do give them a look, they're all wonderful! ~ "The Veiled King" by MiraHerondale Bilbo has lost his memory after getting knocked out in Ravenhill, and is found by Thranduil. He’s taken to Mirkwood, unconscious still, to be treated. Upon waking, he discovers he has no memories of the previous year.

Unaware of this development, Thorin and his heirs lie recovering from their wounds and confined to bed rest. Free of the gold madness, the King orders them to search for Bilbo, as the brave burglar is still counted among the many who have disappeared during the fight. Despite this, they find no trace of Bilbo before a terrible snowstorm forces them to abandon their task and accept what they believe to be the hobbit's fate.

The King Under the Mountain mourns and, in the meantime, Bilbo sleeps.

~

"Ambassador To Madness" by @sunnyrosewritesstuff All Bilbo wanted was to be an ambassador to one of the richest kingdoms in Middle Earth. Upon meeting its prince, his opinion is greatly lessened. However, Bilbo still finds himself agreeing to play the part of his consort to help free Erebor from the gold mad Thror. Turns out, Thror may not be as blind as his grandson thinks, and intends to use Bilbo to get rid of Thorin once and for all. ~ "Sleep Alone; Start All Over" by vicious_summer Bilbo had a sudden, cheerful realization. “Oh, my, this must mean you’ve already dealt with the problem of the dragon without me!”

Bofur frowned. “Bilbo, no–”

“Sorry, you haven’t dealt with the dragon?”

Or: the Consort of Erebor loses about seven years of memory. ~ "Golden Hearts Bleed Faster" by @lordoftherazzles Bilbo Baggins, Prince of the Shire, has been left with a kingdom on his back and a ring in his hand after the unexpected death of his parents. Bodyguard Thorin Oakenshield has been brought in to see to the prince’s safety, and do a little investigating of his own on the matter in hopes of coming face to face with the one who turned his mountain, and his life, upside down some years prior. ~ "The Great Ereborian Doily Conspiracy" by @lauramkaye Thorin has always been happy to see Bilbo adopt dwarfish ways, until it is pointed out to him that Bilbo, not actually being a dwarf, might be happier in their marriage if Thorin were to make a bit of effort to adopt some hobbitish ways in turn.

Naturally, Thorin goes about this in a sensible and moderate manner. ~ "Dragonfly" by @edwardallenpoe Snippets of Thorin and Bilbo's life, learning to Heal, learning to Grow, Learning to Trust, and learning to Love, from when they survive, to the beginning of the rest of their lives.

Or; They both love each other and are afraid to tell the other, their plans? To tell everyone else they're together while the other has no idea. ~ "Sparks & Gardens" by @fantasyinallforms Bilbo grew up well-to-do in the peaceful countryside of the shire. Three years after his mother's passing, his father decides to move to London to take up an affluent teaching job at the British museum. Bilbo tries to make the best of his new surroundings and crosses paths with a surly blacksmith named Thorin Oakenshield. Bilbo finds Thorin to be an enigma, and Thorin finds Bilbo to be naive. Soon they will learn that Thorin's mistrust of the elite is based on experiences that lead to his dark past, and Bilbo is not as naive to the evils of the world as he may seem. ~ "Of Cold Hearts" by @domesticgoddesswriter Thorin was at a loss. He was a monster slayer. A killer of all evil creatures who prey on humanity. Including vampires. Especially vampires. He hated vampires. He wouldn't be content until he eradicated every last one of the foul beings.

So what in Mahal's name was he doing sitting here in a dusty armchair next to a cold hearth drinking tea (of all things!) with a (admittedly rather cute) vampire. The same vampire that he came to this old castle to kill. ~ Next time I'll do "canon-verse; all time favourites" Feel free to add your recommendations too, I'm always on the look out for new fic to read! 💛

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

I’m sorry I read your post about Chaggie and Emily and arranged marriage and there is SO MUCH angst potential but also on the flip side of it this has been running through my head ever since you mentioned it:

Emily: Okay so before we get down to business about Heaven and Hell, Vaggie needs to be in the room.

Lilith: Wait what why

Emily: Because she’s my wife’s wife and she deserves to be here, obviously.

SHE WOULD

ascended Chaggie shipper Emily!!! Now she's part of her fav ship too!

All of Charlie and Emily's official wedding photos are just Emily dragging Vaggie into frame while chaggie shares various confused but happy looks about it XD

Sera: "Hell has made an offer to help keep the peace-"

Emily: "Oh thank FUCK!"

Sera: "-language- an offer addressed towards you, which you do NOT have to accept-"

Emily: "It's coming from Charlie and Vaggie right? They're wonderful! And they've worked so hard already, I'm sure their offer is very fair and really well thought out! Of course I accept!"

Sera: ".... it's an offer of marriage to the princess of hell."

Emily: "And to Vaggie?"

Sera: ".."

Sera: "What?"

Emily: "Well if I'm marrying Charlie I'd be marrying Vaggie too, right?"

Sera: "No. Just the young Morningstar."

Emily: "Oh...."

Emily: "I mean realistically speaking, I'll have to be SOME kind of in-law with my wife's wife-"

Sera: "Emily."

Emily: "-even if it's a long distance marriage most of the time presumably we'd have to set up rooms for my wife and her wife up here in heaven, or have them live with me, and the same with me maybe staying with them down in hell sometimes, to make negotiating easier, and they'd RUN the hotel together which is the whole HEART of the heaven hell conflict and connection thing, so it doesn't makes sense for me, trying to solve that issue, to legally have more of a share in Charlie's life without also sharing mine with Vaggie seeing as they've been living the same life together for years already in a very cute way that I can't WAIT to see more of first hand and-"

Sera: "Emily. Focus."

Emily: "Right!"

Emily: "I'll counter offer with a proposal of marriage to Vaggie."

Sera: "No you will NOT. She's already an angel! It makes no sense! It would serves no diplomatic purpose!"

Emily: "She's the royal consort to the princess of hell of course it would serve a purpose diplomacy wise and make sense."

Sera: "Are you drawing fanart of them on your paperwork again, Emily."

Emily: (slides fanart out of view) "It's, um, a just diagram-"

Sera: "Of them kissing."

Emily: "I'm planning our wedding together. I promise I'll keep the peace between heaven and hell by kissing them both equally."

Sera: (pries off halo and rubs her forehead) (Groans)

[sky-kiss]

Pinned Post: Guess I Should Make One

I mean, it's a Trash House. But I probably shouldn't have just like...a bunch of loose fic just rolling around the blog. I'm going to try and keep this updated but. I mean. You and I both know I won't.

Long Fic:

Sex, Death & the Infinite Void - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

My ongoing fic, focused on Raphael's attempted conquest of the Hells. Things have not gone as smoothly as anticipated. He comes to the Dark Urge after death and makes a deal. Team Theater Kid does its best to navigate deals with Archdevils, start a cult, Joi's father manifesting in her life. Etc.

I Don't Think About You Anymore (But I Don't Think About You Any Less) - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Ok, it's not long. A two-part fic in a sad times AU, where Raphael offered a Dark Urge a place as his consort. She refuses him. They have a terrible relationship (it gets better?)

Hell In Your Eyes - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Raphael has a bad dream. He wants to feel in control again. So, he bangs his duchess. That's it. That's the fic. I lied. This is now a smut compilation fic.

Second Nature to Me Now - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

This is an unholy amalgamation of Baldur's Gate and My Fair Lady. No. I will not answer any questions.

A Helping Hand - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate [Archive of Our Own]

Haarlep/F!Tav/Ascended Fiend Raphael have a good time.

Raphael x Tav Tumblr Asks Fics: (Under the Cut. TOO MANY)

Oh, god. Why didn't I NAME any of these. The titles get unhinged:

Angry Raphael Doing Torture

Raphael Speaking Infernal to Tav is Sexy

Tav is a Moron Who Signed a Contract Without Reading It

Bathing Raphael

Tav Accepts Raphael's Offer to Go to Hell (But in a Hot Way?)

Raphael Dancing with Tav

Tav is in Danger, Raphael Saves Her

Tav Snoops Around the Devil's Den (Raph is Right There, Idiot)

Raphael Attempts A Love Confession (Local Devil Crashes/Burns)

Softer Raphael? I Think This One Involves Cuddles

Word Prompts: Love & Worth

Raphael x Haarlep: Haarlep Teaches Raph a Lesson

Raph X Tav: Sex in Front of Mirror

Raphael Get Mugged (But Not Killed!) in his OWN HOUSE

Local Devil Publicly Shamed, Emergency Contact Still His Ex

Local Devil Exploits Idiot BFF's Propensity for Dying

Devil's Boyfriend Asks Out Devil's Idiot Crush; Is Only Sane Person

Local Devil Too Lazy to Shave Himself, But Also Sexy/Shirtless

Local Devil Partners and Terrible Drow Bitch About Parents

Reader Makes Very Bad Choices with Local Ascended Fiend

Local Devil Gets a Treat (Smut)

Local Devil Reminds You He Is Not for Cuddles (He Is)

Local Devil Sandwich Local Idiot (But Cute)

Coffee Shop AU: Friends Attempt to Help Local Idiot Date Hot Man

Coffee Shop AU 2: Friends Takes Matters Into Own Hands Due to Growing Disgust and Repulsion with Local Idiot and Hot Man

Local Devil Masquerades as Priest; Local Idiot Fooled

Local Devil and Local Idiot Just Kinda Grind on Each Other?

Local Devil and Local Idiot Throwdown in Hell

Local Idiot Tries to Rob Local Devils, Is Shocked by Repercussions

Coffee Shop AU 3: Local Idiot and Hot Man Flirt After Date

Coffee Shop AU 4: Just Some Shower Cuddles

Local Idiots Saves Local Devil's Lives: Is a Threesome Currency?

Coffee Shop AU 5: Snowday

Ascended Fiend Raphael Smut

Local Devil Is Kind of Nice for Once, Offers Bath

Local Devil is Truly Over the Local Idiot's Stupidity

Raphael Solo Sexy-Time

Reader Get Wrecked By Local Devils

Local Devil is Feeling Soft for Local Idiot

Local Idiot is so Dumb She Causes Local Devil Psychic Damage

Local Devil naps on Local Idiot

Reader is Hunted by Haarlep and Ascended Fiend Raphael

Local Devil Horrified by Own Child

Local Devil Not Dead, Gets Some Horrible Revenge via Local Idiot

Huge Devil Creatures Gives Cuddles

Local Devil Really Badly Burned (But not Dead!)

Local Devil Mistaken for Tiefling (Exhausted)

Things go Very Badly for Local Idiot

Local Devil Catches a Cold

Local Devil Introduces Local Idiot To Devil Father. It's bad

Asmodeus x Baalphegor

Local Idiot Kills Devil Crush, Consults Major Devil Hottie for Help

Local Idiot has Pissed Off Local Devil, Relationship in Shambles

Local Devil Transforms Nude

Local Devil has Beautiful Hands

Coffeehouse AU: Office Hours

Local Devils go "Fishing"

Local Idiot Helps Bloody Naked Local Devil to Take a Bath

Dadphael: His Kids are Thieves

Local Idiots Gets Absolutely Destroyed by Local Devils

Local Devils are Genuinely Awful: Bad Ending

Local Demon Seduces Local Idiot

Raphael x F!Tav: Corruption Smutlet

Raphael x F!Tav: War

CoffeShop Au Part Whatever: It's Snowy or Rainy and they Cuddle

Raphael and an Angel Play Chess or Something

Raphael is really too old to be drinking milk but here we are

Doll!Tav Get Their World Rocked By Raph/Haarlep

Local Devil "Comforts" a Sad/Tired Tav

Raphael and Haarlep Wreck Local Idiot

Modern AU Snippet Channeling some House of Usher

Haarlep and Raphael have some Bath Fun

Raphael and Tav have a Kissy in Honor of Kissy Day

Raphael is not dead (but is pissed off)

Raphael is too good for sex but is still going bang you

Early Raphael/Haarlep

Raphael Lingers in Bed and has big cat energy

Post post post canon Raphael GETS THE BIG WIN

Raphael & Jaheira have a catty conversation

Random Crap (Headcanons & Stuff) & Other People's DOPE ART:

Raph x Joi: Dirty Headcanons

Joi Looks Like This

Timeskip Raphael (SHAHS, YOU QUEEN)

Raphael & Joi Shopping (Please Note the Brooch)

Simply Drew a Gorgeous Joi (Thank you!)

Simply Drew Raphael and Raphael

Commission of Duchess Joi!

Simply Drew The Cutest Raph/Joi I've Ever Seen, Go, Gaze Upon It

Simply Drew a Sexy Murder Joi (Fresh from hunting her not husband)

Commission of Archduke Raphael and Duchess Joi

Ok. I think that's all of them. You no longer have to roam the wilds of the blog if you do not wish. I have released you from that dark task. Love ya'll. You're great. /finger guns/ Send me asks if you want. If I don't get to them immediately, I apologize.

But yeah. Keep on keeping on. Keep like...being amazing for Raphael. He doesn't deserve it, and he won't appreciate it, but like...I dunno.

[pyrodolls]

Heyyy so I saw your yandere Smoke headcanons and I really enjoyed reading them! Honestly I really love all of your stuff because you're super talented but that in particular was like 👁👁

If you don't mind, may I request some yandere headcanons for Rain as well? If so, thank you so much in advance! I hope you have a nice day/night!

yandere rain/zeffeero x reader hcs

warnings: violence, toxic relationship, stalking, yk regular yandere tendencies

summary: just some hcs of yandere rain in love with (gender neutral) reader who is royalty.

a/n: anon, i cried tears of happiness when i saw that, and then i ran around my bedroom giggling and kicking my feet. anyways i got SO MANY requests for more yandere characters, i’m so glad y’all like it :D yandere liu kang is next so stay tuned.

being the high mage of outworld, rain was pretty much always in the palace. but he never got tired of it. because you were there.

he was so enamored with you, the beautiful person sitting on the throne beside your sisters and mother. you looked so elegant every single day.

rain often stared at you any time you were in the same room. he just stared and thought of your future together. he had no doubt that you two would be together in the future forever. til' death do you part.

even though you don't get to talk to him as much as he'd desire. but that's okay, rain is a very patient and calculated man! he can wait for you to finally realize just how in love he is with you. he isn't worried about *when* you fall in love with him, because he is so confident that you will be together in the future.

for now, he must be very careful. especially because your family has high expectations for who your consort must be.

therefore, he is determined to prove himself worthy of your affections. rain already knows he is worthy, since he is the high mage of outworld, but he works hard every day to prove that title wasn't given for free.

but he is also quite the gentleman when it comes to his attempts at courting you. he often holds doors open for you, learns cute water tricks just to impress you, and often asks you about your day or how you're feeling.

rain just sounds so great, doesn't he? he sounds like such a kind gentleman, surely nothing is wrong with him...

but deep down, zeffeero is so in love with you, he believes he can easily court you and marry you someday. and he is not afraid of taking out his competition in order to do so.

do you remember that one man that was recommended for you to marry? of course you don't, because he never responded back when you accepted. you don't know what happened to him. maybe he is ignoring you? oh well, at least you have the cute hydromancer that is always there for you!

zeffeero is always there for you. your troubles will never last as long as he is there by your side. he will always make you feel better. you need him to feel better, don't you?

he is very determined for you to depend on him. you make him feel so smart and strong when you go to him for advice or help for the smallest things. you need help carrying a couple boxes? no worries, he can just carry them all himself! you don't know which outfit looks better on you? he thinks you look radiant in any outfit you wear, but he would gladly give you his input anyway!

besides, if zeffeero slowly convinces you that you need him, then someday you will be completely devoted to him and you will never leave him. you can't leave him, you need his support and his love. nobody can help you or love you as much as he does.

and he knows you're royalty so you're very well-trained, but he must protect you anytime you need it. he doesn't think the umgadi are fit to defend you. they won't be able to defend you as well as the high mage of outworld can.

also, zeffeero isn't just smart and strong, he is also very considerate and observant. sometimes, he shows up to your bedroom and offers your favorite breakfast in the morning. but.. how did he know what your favorite is? oh, he can just tell by your expression as you eat it. that's it! he totally doesn't stare at you until his eyes go dry and follow you around when you don't notice! he always sees you sneak off into the kitchen at night to grab some of it. he knows, since he always notices when you leave your bedroom.

he likes sneaking into your bedroom and watching you sleep. he studies the way you sleep so he can provide a bed that best suits your needs in your future house. and plus, zeffeero thinks you just look so cute when you’re asleep and vulnerable!

he is also a very good listener. when you need a shoulder to cry on, he is always there to hear you and listen to you rant about your problems or people who hurt you. oh? you noticed that they miraculously stopped messing with you? and they run off as soon as they see you? oh, that's great! it totally wasn't because zeffeero threatened to take their lives...

overall, he's just such a great friend! he would be an even better boyfriend, wouldn't he? maybe even an amazing husband! you should probably reciprocate his affections as soon as he confesses. maybe he can help protect you, since you always get the feeling that you're being watched and followed everywhere you go. i mean, he's not the one watching and following you... right?

[the-kingshound]

I think my hound would find taking care of baby animals and/or children to be extremely therapeutic. A way to prove to themselves that their hands can help and not just hurt, that they can hold something small and vulnerable and completely dependent on them and keep it safe. Maybe a litter of abandoned puppies. They'd wake up in the middle of the night every 2 hours to feed them, they'd rock them to sleep, they'd tuck them under their clothes to keep them warm since i don't think heating blankets are a thing. How would the ROs be at co-parenting or convincing the hound to get them to a proper foster dog parent instead?

Arthur: this man has so much dad energy, coparenting is in his blood. Of course he can wake up and feed the pups too, of course he can shush and pet and cuddle them while he's during a Round Table meeting. Frankly, they remind Arthur of caring for young Mordred, of giving him time to warm up to them. They make Arthur so nostalgic.

Evaine: a tough one. They coo and adore the pups, but if MC asks Evaine to help in their care, Evaine is suddenly drawing back anxiously. They don't think they have the ability to care for them, they wouldn't even trust themselves to be alone with the small pups because they'd panic. For MC, they would try to work around their heavy discomfort, but it would show.

Yniol: Yniol is ready. They are already accustomed to night patrols, and to entertain and care for small children. They have the patience and the consistency. Honestly, they do not question MC. They just accept that it's to make the Consort fell better and they are ready to pull their weight, by caring for the pups in everything they need (despite how tired they'll likely become).

Morien: Morien is looking at the pups in MC's arms fondly, but as soon as the argument of shared caring is brought up, the physician is begrudgingly, if bitterly (because the pups are cute and warm), making a list of all the reasons why Morien, and MC too, shouldn't take this responsibility. But they can be convinced. They just need to be shown that it will be alright.

Gwyar: younger Gwyar has their doubts about this. Between MC's duties and theirs, they think they won't be able to care properly for the pups, who need lots of effort especially when little. Older Gwyar, however, would probably agree much more easily. They are a bit more disillusioned, and their mentality would be "... oh, well. Why not, if they'll bring some happiness to us both."

[thelittletobsterthatcould]

Really loving the idea of Bilbo / Fem!Thorin rn guys. I’ve drafted three one shots of this and all of them are Bilbo being like “My wife is so hot and cute and such a powerful boss babe queen and I’m her consort and I will love her softly and adore her with every fiber of my being and make sure she knows how my heart beats only for her always until the unmaking of the world and if we are separated by our afterlives I will find a way to reunite with her in and hold her again. I will watch her hair turn gray, thin and fall out and kiss her forehead even when it’s rotted and melting off her skull even if she can’t remember me.” (AKA he just really loves his wife (me too Bilbo, me too))

And Thorin is feeling mildly uncomfortable about being loved so softly because she’s been a child soldier three times now, fought discrimination and hardship as a leader. She is a trained warrior and queen, not someone who is looked at fondly like Bilbo does. But with Bilbo she gets to embrace her long since buried femininity, wear the frilly dresses she dreamed of wearing as a child, be cherished and be held by Bilbo while he feeds her grapes and sweets with her head in his lap. So she’s like “This man will call me his garden the way he plants his seed in me, and I will give him as many children as possible bc my god he’s so soft and so fucking hot” (AKA she really loves her husband)

And both of them are mutually so in love with each other and cannot keep their hands off of each other. (They use this to make Thranduil uncomfortable—Bard doesn’t mind bc he’ll say like ‘oh my wife and I were like that once it’s fine lol’ when Thrandy is like ‘this is G R O S S!!!!’)

In conclusion they are my babies and I love them

[thewritetofreespeech]

Astarion x Reader

words: 1.02K

rating: T

pairing: Ascended!Astarion x Spawn!Tav

summary: after seeing their friends for the first time in a long while, Tav has a request for Astarion for them to come live at the palace.

---------------------------------

The party is in full swing. Or…as full of a swing as this lot could get.

Astarion had to admit, for a dried-up old skeleton, Withers could certainly put on a show. He wondered how the old pile of bones managed out here in the middle of nowhere, looking like….that. Perhaps he’d summoned those hirelings to go fetch the party favors for him.

His attention turned from his wine to Tav as they came close. Calm, smiling, happy. He hated it. Not that he has any doubts that they are happy in their life together, and they are wonderfully content in being his consort. He just doesn’t like that other people are making them happy. “Hello, my treasure. Miss me already?”

‘Of course. When we’re apart I miss you terribly.’

Astarion barked out a laugh. Not sure if they were being sarcastic or not, but chooses to believe that they would be desperate without him. “Of course you do. And? How have our dear friends been without us to guide and protect them?”

‘They’re great-everyone seems so happy.’

“Really?” He was taken aback by that. “Are you sure? I was half certain they’d be half-dead and begging us to take them back.”

‘Well….there is one….’

“Really? Well…I’m not surprised.” Astarion’s interest was piqued now. Certainly it was no surprise to him. Who wouldn’t miss all of this? How helpless they all would have been without the faithful stewardship of his love and his clever resourcefulness to see them through. It wasn’t a surprise that one of them would crave that guidance again.

‘I have a request.’

A request? How odd, Astarion thought. Though they were bound to one another, and he was their master, he was true in his words that he wanted Tav to be his consort, not his spawn. The others he would command as his leisure, for their own good or his amusement, but Tav was free to do as they liked. As long as they were with him. It had been a while since they had made a formal request of him. So this must be serious. Though he can guess what it was.

“Name it darling and it is yours. As always, you can ask me for anything.”

‘I want them to come live with us.’

Bang on the money.

He guessed correctly that that was their request. Nothing else would require his permission in a formal way like that. It filled him with glee that they would ask though. Come crawling in to ask for his permission. And, more than that, do it on behalf of another who would soon be crawling in for his permission as well. “Of course you do my love. You always did have a soft spot for the weak and unfortunate. It is one of your more disgustingly cute qualities.” He told them. “So, who is it? Halsin? Shadowheart?”

Astarion had to assume it was Halsin. He’d already propositioned them once during their travels. Why not try it again? Although, he couldn’t see the big lug willingly spending time in the city. Or giving up on those brats he was so fond of. He hoped it was Shadowheart. Though he had chosen Tav, and correctly, there were times when he’d look at the little lost convert when more than just hunger for her blood. A look he knew reciprocated by her to his future consort when she thought no one was looking.

‘It’s Scratch.’

His fantasies on which of their companions were begging him to take them back and what he would do with them came to a screeching halt when they revealed their intended. “The dog!” Were they really asking him to take in that mangy mutt into his grand palace?? Where it would probably….shed and dig up every potted plant in the house.

‘The Owlbear too.’

“Oh good Gods, now you’re just being ridiculous.” Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose. This had to be some horrible waking dream he was having. Since he didn’t sleep anymore.

‘You said I could ask for anything.’

“Ask! Not make these insane requests!” Tav gave him one of those stern looks. One that would have made his old self buckle instantly. But he was an all powerful vampire lord now. Their powers wouldn’t work on him anymore. “Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s insane to have animals running around the palace. Where would we even put that behemoth of an Owlbear in the first place?”

‘I seem to remember that there was a very large room under the palace he could stay in. With a little sprucing up.’

Astarion growled in his throat. “No.” They crossed their arms and stared at him, and once again Astarion told them, “No. And that’s final. I won’t have wild animals running around my palace. Ask me for anything else my love, but this is too far.”

Tav uncrossed their arms and their shoulders fell. A sad look on their face that was not quite a pout because they were too grown up for that. They turn to leave and go back to the party before Astarion told them, “Fine.” They perked up and looked over their shoulder at him. Hopefully. “I will…think on it. But I will need some concessions for even considering putting up with this. You may get what you want. But, I get what I want.”

They beam at him, and don’t even consider what he might ask in return as they dash over and kiss him on the cheek as a thank you.

Astarion sighed. “I’m going to stay here and think on this. But you should go – mingle, chat, laugh. Have fun my love. And if our friends drop any interesting secrets, bring them right back to me. Until then, I’ll be here. But don’t fret, I will be watching. I am always watching.”

And he did watch them go. Return to conversations with Shadowheart and Laz’el projection, giddy and happy again. Although he knew it was his doing this time. So he was less annoyed than before.

He then turned to look at the dog and owlbear playing by the bank. The ground literally trembling under the overgrown cub’s feet. Astarion pinched his nose again. He decided it would need to be something very, very, very good if he was going to allow this to happen.

[firstprincehornyramblings]

I'm posting this Sentences Sunday at 3am, because why the hell not, it's Sunday. This one is going to have 3 snippets, all very nsfw, all very under the cut, but I'm doing to try and keep them shorter, for mysterious reasons. *wiggles fingers*

- kissingchambers (🤭) pwp 💊

He couldn’t look down at Elliot, he managed a glance before giving up and looking back at the ceiling. Those hungry eyes and wide pupils narrowed and nearly predatory- that look was lethal. It would make impossibly quick work of Marco if he allowed himself to watch. His hand tugged harder at the hair between his fingers, legs spreading wider, to what end he had no idea. But it was rewarded with one of Elliot’s hand sliding along his inner thigh, squeezing at soft skin. “I- uh, Ellie…” Marco swallowed hard, gasping for air between moans as he spoke. “Can you uh-” With a hum, Elliot lifted his head, still sucking hard as his mouth popped free. “Ellie, that’s cute, what, are you about to cum?” he chuckled, somehow still sounding sarcastic. All Marco could really do was nod.

--------------------------------------------------------------------- doctor alex and patient henry 🩺

“Oh, I didn’t make you dinner,” Henry sneered, “You can do that on your own.” “Wh-” “You need to get tested,” he didn’t even allow his boyfriend to respond to the initial jab. “You fucking gave me chlamydia,” he hissed, already standing up and emptying his plate, “Don’t apologize, don’t make a fucking excuse, be an adult, take care of it. And for christ’s fucking sake,” he snapped, tossing his plate into the sink nearly hard enough to break it, “Use a Johnny next time, will you?” “Baby, wait,” Charlie pleaded, following behind Henry who was already in the process of storming toward the bedroom. “Do not,” the blond whipped around with lightning speed, a finger shoved only centimeters from his boyfriend’s nose, “Do not fucking ‘baby’ me, right now.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------- dystopian prince's consort alex 👑

All at once, Alex got his wish, Henry’s hips jerking forward as he spilled onto the bed. Streak after streak of white painted the linens, loud husky whines and moans coming from deep in the blond’s chest. That tightness squeezing Alex’s cock like a vice grip, it was an incredible feat that he didn’t finish on the spot himself; he’d thank whichever god did that for him later. His own hips finally slowed to a moderate pace, now just rolling into deep, slow slamming motions into the other man. His hand worked the last few drops from Henry’s tip, the opposite hand leaving the blond’s throat to lovingly cradle a warm cheek instead. His thumb brushed over Henry’s lips in a way that was far too affectionate for what they’d just done, but he couldn’t help it, Alex was a romantic at heart. “Where do you want me to cum, baby?” “On my face, please,” with that answer, the blond leaned forward, falling into the mattress with no regard for the mess. He rolled over onto his back after a moment, still breathing hard as he looked up at Alex. There was a smile on those plush lips now, a quiet blissed out laugh, and half-lidded cock drunk eyes. Henry was more beautiful that way, Alex thought.

—

🏷️(no pressure tags darlings)

@taste-thewaste @henrysfox @mikibwrites @eusuntgratie

@softboynick @catdadacd @sheepywritesfics @henryspearl

@basil-bird @caressthosecheekbones @henfox @anti-homophobia-cheese

@redlipstickandglitter @onthewaytosomewhere

@thesleepyskipper @tailsbeth-writes @thighzp @lfg1986-2

+ literally anyone else I'm tired and forgot. (i say as if im not always sleepy) or anyone who sees this and wants to tag me, I love reading yall's stuff. <3

[malkaleh]

Rings of Power 2X08

FIRST OF ALL HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO WAIT UNTIL 2026 UNDER THESE CONDITIONS. HOW.

Secondly CHARLES EDWARDS YOU OWE ME INFINITY TRILLION DOLLARS IN EMOTIONAL DAMAGES. INFINITY.

(I still very much think Celebrimbor actually willed himself dead there, as the last thing he had left he could do :((((( :/)

(Also the horrible awful intimacy in whatever torture had clearly been going on for a while there - that face caress was so so creepy and awful and the blank spaces FUCK).

CHARLIE VICKERS YOU ALSO OWE ME INFINITY TRILLION DOLLARS. ACTUALLY THE WHOLE CAST OWES ME BUT THE CHARLIES ESPECIALLY. AND MORFYDD. AND ROB. AND BEN. AND ISHAMEL

(You know the worst thing is, the absolute most horrible thing is that I do think Sauron’s tears/words there about regret were completely genuine. Like, completely).

(For fic agenda reasons I also need to point out that in one of the drafts in the unfinished tales Sauron wanted to attack Lorien and Rivendell first and just like he wants to get his beloveds back UGH okay I know tactical reasons but also)

LEAVE MY SWEET BABY BIRACIAL ELROND ALONE YOU FUCKS. YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKS. (He is so soft and so kind and so gentle still and the way he stands in what I assume will become Imaldris is just MY HEART HURTS).

Sauron really was ‘soon as they unblock me the weddings are back on’ like I swear (I think he was extremely angry that Celebrimbor was going out of his reach).

(Still hasn’t mentioned Luthien, is still terrified out of his mind)

HI GANDALF.

ARONDIR LIVES MY BELOVED.

kemen i hope sauron sacrifices you first or an eagle eats you. Or you die slowly after stepping on Eressea/Valinor.

Hi islidur and theo are brothers now and also THEO IS GOING TO BE FINE HE IS NOT GOING TO BE EVIL I REFUSE.

ADAR. FUCK. (The way he loved his kids so much and yet by that love going wrong he fucked everything up is just ://///. Also GLUG IS FINE. HE IS FINE. HE IS GOING HOME TO HIS WIFE AND BABY GLUG).

(Sauron’s ex’s really are unionising/understanding each other)

Somewhere in mandos Feanor is like GET YOUR BITCH ASS HANDS OFF MY HAMMER LET ME AT HIM (Celebrimbor is getting ALL THE HUGS when he arrives okay, from EVERYONE).

Galadriel is continuing the family tradition of Dramatic and I love that for her. Also MORFYDD MORFYDD.

MIRIEL IS GOING TO BREAK MY HEART INTO PIECES. MY DARLING MIRIEL YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE YOU ARE. YOU AND ELENDIL WILL BE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS AND IT WILL BE SO CUTE.

Oh Earien :(((((. I love her i just…

The way you fall matters, even if that’s all you have left. Even if you will not win through, even if it is hopeless - it matters that you were kind, that you were good and you held to love and light and maybe you will not live to see it but the dawn will come is so…I really really needed that.

Gil-Galad Is an incredibly stressed dad (tm) and also oh my heart his face when he sees they are hurting Elrond could you please tell him in words (also stop with the microaggressions).

Islidur COME GET YOUR WIFE.

No really I keep imagining Celebrimbor arriving in Mandos and everyone, I mean everyone including Mandos and Manwe and Varda and EVERYONE just hugging him and reassuring him and bringing him tea and blankets and hot chocolate.

(Finrod is going to GO BACK TO MIDDLE EARTH AND FIGHT PEOPLE STAY AWAY FROM HIS SISTER AND HIS HUSBAND AND WIFES BEST FRIENDS GREAT GRANDCHILD. Fingon is also going)

(Sauron really really did not want to not have Galadriel and Celebrimbor and Elrond beside him as consorts like please I need all the fic about this please trop writers please also include Elrond)

In conclusion eleven trillion stars out of five how am I supposed to wait two years, this cast owes me emotional damages.

[monimccoythings]

Progress

Whoah, sorry for the long delay, it’s been a long and tiring part of my life, the worst part is that most of this was already written lol.This happens between the last fic and the bonus scene.

Check previous parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Next: Part 5

tags: @loveforfandomsstuff​ @harpy-space​

Since the journey to the Kong Kingdom, your little fella had become... how to put it...more cooperative, yeah, let’s go with that. Even if he gave the others a hard time, he seemed to be considerably more pleasant whenever you or Peach were around.

Not that you seemed to notice, you were so busy cooing all over him, he was such a cute baby. Oh he was still annoyed by it, but how could he blame you when he kept giving you those little doe eyes???

With time, you were allowed to do more things with him. It had been a long probation, but Peach and the Toads were 99% sure he wouldn’t try any shenanigans if you were around. You shamelessly took advantage of your time with him to cuddle him like the chonky potato he was.

Cuddling sessions were a must. It was mandatory. Not that he was complaining. One could say he was the one taking advantage of you, given how he nuzzled you and purred. But the asshole sometimes headbutted you and bit you, like dude, you are two inches tall, chill.

He liked bathtime, or whatever that was, because hitting him with a strong torrent of boiling water coming out of a hose didn’t look like something they would offer at a spa. But he seemed to enjoy it, given how his butt wiggled in a cute little dance of happiness.

Despite his surprisingly good behavior, he had still to learn some manners. He demanded, more than asked, and apparently the words “please” and “thank you” were unknown to him. He also had a tendency to snap and try to attack Mario, Luigi, Toad or whoever wasn’t Peach or yourself. Amgery boi had to be more polite because he couldn’t use the cute card forever to get away with whatever he did. Okay, he could. Damn it.

Unbeknownst to you, Bowser perfectly knew what he was doing. He was marking territory, claiming you for himself. Peaches didn’t want to marry him? Her loss, your benefit. Okay, it was kinda offputting that you were of commoner origins and without a kingdom to conquer, but what the hell, these were modern times, he could make you his Royal Consort and then conquer the Mushroom Kingdom anyway.

He was a romantic at heart, he knew he already had you wrapped around his little finger, he just needed more time to properly prepare you for when, not if, he grew back to his usual size, because then he’ll be fully going all or nothing to woo you.

He memorized every single piece of information he could get out from your mouth, piece of cake, he just had to give you the stare and you would melt to his whims. Everything about you fascinated him he needed to know all about you, he needed to own you, to possess you as his most prized being, he needed to feel what he felt whenever you were around at all times, and even then he wouldn’t get enough of you.

For real, just say hi to him when you see him and he’s already planning your wedding and naming your children.

He gets jealous very easily, just talking to another person, regardless of their gender or even mentionng some friends from the human world are enough to rile him up. He gets all huffy and bitey and won’t let anybody come close. Those days are when he focus the most plotting your kidnapping his proposal.

He knows that the day his armies will regroup and come free him from that prision is getting closer and that he must be patient. If only he was patient enough... Luckily, the only things he has to do is act cute and keep listening to your ramblings, collecting as much intel as he can.

On your part, you are delighted that this babee is willing to give you the time of the day. You smothered him with kisses and hugs while saying sweet nonsense about how cute and tiny he is. Because he was! And everybody has to know!

But sometimes you just casually talked to him as if he wasn’t the most adorable thing you had ever seen. And he listened, which was a tremendous surprise, but maybe he was bored and had nothing better to do. Those times you spent together were as great and special as the ones you spent babying him. But reality was one hell of a party pooper because you always had to harshly remind yourself that despite everything, despite how much you adored his tiny form and enjoyed cuddling him like a plushie, he was a genocidal maniac that would remoserlessly comit his crimes all over again just for spite.

From your perspective, he just looked like a tiny prehistorical pet turtle that spit fire like a lighter and had a high pitched voice. But that wasn’t who he really was. The danger of letting him lose and allowing him to recover even a fraction of his power was a very terrifying thought for all the Mushroom, Kong and Human realm. Still, you couldn’t help but feel compassion for him, because if you all started treating him just the way he had treated them all, what would be the difference between the two sides? Okay maybe that one side wasn’t so willing to kill and maul, but if they were the good guys they had to set an example.

So you spent your free time hanging with your friends in the Mushroom Kingdom and with Bowser, enjoying what new things that new realm had to offer, completely unaware of the danger that awaited just mere days away...