#oh i just realised what that 14-year-old-me tag sounds like and i just meant that i've spent the day all alone in Helsinki

[rragnaroks]

well i've just seen my first dan and phil show!

[dotsayers]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 

this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb

way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter

as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)

do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)

standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)

a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)

where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo

14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?

oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing

16. What are your writing strengths?

once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope

tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this

[lillibetm3]

All I Want for Christmas is You

Pairing: Nine/Rose

Genre: Romance/PWP/Het/AU

Rating: Teen (with non-graphic sex)

written for #31 Days of Ficmas @doctorroseprompts​

They gave 31 prompts, I went crazy and used them ALL. :)

01.  Workshop                         11. Ornaments                         21. Coal 02.  Tinsel                                12. Family                                22. Ribbon 03.  Cider                                 13. Celebrate                           23. Joy 04.  Tree                                  14. Peppermint                         24. Stockings 05.  Gingerbread                     15. Love                                    25. Unwrap 06.  Eggnog                             16. Naughty and/or Nice          26. Friends 07.  Garland                             17. Wreath                               27. Rooftop 08.  Ugly jumper                      18. Santa and/or Elves             28. Earmuffs 09.  Party                                 19. Chestnuts                           29. Star 10.  Cookies/biscuits                20. Gifts                                   30. Mistletoe                                                                                                   31. Bright

When she'd first told the Doctor about her Christmas plan, his lack of enthusiasm for her 'leave of absence' from the TARDIS had only made her more determined. 

All I Want For Christmas is You

 Rose was sitting on a workbench, swinging her legs in time with the ticking of the clock on the wall, while eyeing it with a determined gaze as it edged ever closer to 6.00pm. The basement storeroom, although strewn with toys, ribbons, gift tags, wrapping paper and tinsel, was empty of people. Everyone else was in the canteen enjoying a staff Christmas party; eating chocolates, mince pies, cookies, gingerbread and other assorted festive 'nibbles'. Rose had mingled for a little while, before escaping to the storeroom in an effort to enjoy some solitude in what had otherwise been an exhausting day of wrapping gifts, handing out gifts and evading the wandering hands of a Santa who clearly had an 'Elf fetish'.

With a heavy sigh, Rose glanced down at her aching feet and asked herself for the hundredth time, why she had insisted this year, on getting her mum's Christmas presents the hard way –  by working ridiculous hours and wearing a ridiculous uniform.

When she'd first told the Doctor about her Christmas plan, his lack of enthusiasm for her 'leave of absence' from the TARDIS had only made her more determined. He'd told her that she'd hate it, and she had been adamant that she wouldn't. Of course she did hate it. She really did. But she had no intention of telling the Doctor that. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. No, as far as the Doctor was concerned, she loved being an Elf. LOVED IT.    

She continued to stare at the uncomfortable Elf shoes she wore. They were bright green, with a shiny golden bell hanging from the curved tip of the toes. Every step she took, all shift long, she jingled. Her tights (uncomfortable, hot and itchy) were red and white broad horizontal stripes. Her short, tunic dress exactly matched the green shade of her shoes, and had large black as coal wooden buttons on the front. Topping off her outfit was a 'jaunty' red elf hat, which was finished with a large, shiny, golden bell that jingled even louder than her shoes. Rose particularly hated the hat.

Working a temporary job in Henrik's (completely refurbished) department store in the run-up to Christmas was always going to be busy, but being one of the Elves in 'Santa's Christmas Workshop' was on another level entirely.

Truth be told, being one of Santa's Elves had never been one of Rose's life ambitions, but she'd remembered a time, pre-Doctor, when she'd seen a poster on the staff room notice board, asking for Elf volunteers. She'd seen this time too that it paid more than shop floor work, and as she needed the extra money for Christmas, she'd quickly decided that becoming an Elf was a career move that made financial sense.

And, despite the long hours, children throwing tantrums, parents having melt-downs, and... jingling everywhere she went, Rose had worked her little elf-socks off, and she'd made enough money to buy her Mum a few really lovely Christmas presents. In fact, thanks to her staff discount, (meagre though it was) Rose thought she'd even be able to treat herself to a top she'd had her eye on for a while. So all in all, her time as an Elf had been worthwhile.

Still... she was glad that it was finally coming to an end, as tonight, her last shift, was Christmas Eve. She couldn't wait to (metaphorically) throw her Elf hat to the wind and be a normal girl again – or as normal as she could be while travelling through time and space in a TARDIS, with a nine hundred year old alien.

Rose glanced up at the clock on the wall and grinned – it was 6.03pm – she was officially free! She jumped down from the workbench and... jingled, but somehow she didn't mind it so much now.

The storeroom door swung open, and Rose glanced over as Joy, a fellow Elf, walked in carrying a paper plate heavy with snacks and nibbles, and what looked like a glass of cider.

"Hi, Rose!" Joy said as she approached somewhat unsteadily. "I thought you'd be in here. I brought you a couple of sausage rolls and a gingerbread man."

"Oh," Rose said. "That was nice of you, but you really shouldn't have bothered..."

"And some cider!" Joy continued, thrusting the glass toward Rose.

"No, really. It was a lovely thought, but..."

"And sausage rolls an' a gingerbread man!"

Rose managed to contain her smile. "Yeah, you did mention that before."

"Did I?" Joy asked, sounding taken aback. She took a sip of the cider. "What about the gingerbread man? Did I mention the gingerbread man?" She waved the paper plate in Rose's direction. "'Cos, look – it's a man made out of gingerbread."

Rose's brow furrowed. "How much have you had to drink?"

Joy took another sip of her cider. "Not enough."

"I think maybe you have."

Joy shook her head. "Nope" She smiled broadly. "We're all going to the pub. Oh, come with us Rose. Us Elves have to stick together, especially at Christmas." She drained her glass of cider then contemplated it mournfully.

"I think I'm gonna have to pass," Rose said. "I'm not an Elf any more – I'm off the clock."

"Off the cock!" Joy said loudly, and spluttered with laughter. Then she sighed. "I know the feeling. I've been off the cock for weeks." She paused and leaned in closer to Rose. "I have a feeling that's all going to change tonight, though." She giggled as if she had a secret. "Between you and me... Santa might be getting a special present before he cocks, clocks... before he clocks out tonight." She gave Rose a wink. "An' by special present I mean..."

"I know what you mean!" Rose interrupted quickly.

Joy eyed the sausage rolls on the plate she still held. After a minute, she looked over at Rose."Maybe I'll just have a sausage roll instead."

"I think that's the smart choice," Rose said with a smile. "Come on – let's get you back to the others. You don't want them to leave without you, do you?"

"You sure I can't convince you to come to the pub with us?"

Rose shook her head resolutely. "I just want to go home and put my feet up. Maybe watch a Christmas film."

"Elf?" Joy suggested brightly.

Rose glanced at her uniform. "Anything but Elf."

Joy nodded her acceptance. "I can't let you leave with nothing though, can I? Wouldn't be right." And then she smiled. "Oh, I know!" She reached into her pocket, withdrew something and held it out to Rose. "I was saving it for later, but now I want you to have it." She opened her hand.

"A satsuma?" Rose said.

"Wouldn't be Christmas without a satsuma," Joy said wisely.

"I suppose not." Rose smiled and took the satsuma.

Together, Rose and Joy walked out of the storeroom, down the corridor and into the staff room where the rest of the ex-Elves were clearing up the party things, pulling on coats and grabbing their bags to head off to the pub.

Rose wished all her Elf friends a Merry Christmas, then made her way back out into the long basement corridor, and headed toward the staff locker room to change out of her Elf uniform for the last time.

~oOo~

The locker room was empty – as the other girls had either gone home, or were among those clearing up the last of the party bits. Rose headed to her locker, opened it, pulled out her hoodie, jeans and jacket, and quickly changed clothes. Walking across to a wooden bench that ran along one wall, she sat down and put on her trainers. Then, leaning back she closed her eyes and sighed. It had been an extremely long day and she was more tired than she'd realised. She could hear the distant sound of Christmas songs coming from the staff room along the other end of the corridor, and then silence, a door opening and closing, and the sound of hurried feet. Then more silence.

She yawned. She meant to open her eyes, but somehow she couldn't quite. She yawned again. And really there was no harm in just keeping her eyes closed for a couple more minutes, no harm at all in losing herself for just a little while longer in the peaceful calm. No harm in...

~oOo~

Rose's eyes snapped open. At first she didn't know where she was, but then almost at the same time she found she could smell a subtle undertone of wet umbrellas and deodorant, and she quickly realised she was in the locker room.

A second later she realised that she had been asleep.

She reached into her jacket pocket for her phone to check the time, as of course she'd probably missed her bus home by now.

With a groan she saw that her phone was dead. Disgruntled, Rose pushed her phone back into her jacket and left the locker room, heading down the corridor and back to the staff room, hoping to catch one of the girls and beg a lift off someone.

Even before Rose pushed open the staff room door she had a sinking feeling that luck was not on her side. It was far too quiet for a start. And once she was inside the staff room she found it to be completely empty. Disheartened, she glanced up at the clock on the wall, and as she did so her heart sank even further.

Unbelievably it was 9.18pm – she'd been asleep for hours!

Turning on her heel Rose sped out of the staff room and along the corridor to the staircase door that led up from the basement to the ground floor and the exit doors.

Reaching it she grabbed the handle, but it wouldn't turn. It was locked.

"Hello!" she called out. "Hello, is anyone there?"

Of course there was no reply. It was Christmas Eve night and the store had long since closed. Rose's heart sank just that little bit further at the hopelessness of her situation.

She couldn't help but get a sense of déjà vu. Getting trapped in Henrik's basement one time was bad luck – but twice was seriously pushing it. She could only hope that the store wasn't about to be blown up... again.

Infuriated, she hit the door a couple of times with her hand, despite knowing that it was useless. She let out a growl of frustration and kicked the door. This was not how she wanted to spend Christmas Eve!

She turned around, leaned back against the metal door and contemplated her predicament.

And then she heard it. A sound. A sound she recognised. It was the service lift!

She pushed away from the locked door and ran as fast as she could in the direction of the lift. Her thoughts whirred with the possibilities of who might be in it at this time of night, especially on Christmas Eve. Only a handful of people had access to that particular lift, as it needed a security code to use it.  Maybe it was Kelvin the electrician, or Maureen the cleaner, or Derek the security guard. Maybe it was... never mind, she thought; it didn't matter who it was, it was someone, and that was good enough for her.

She skidded to a halt just as the dark grey metal lift doors began to open. She took a moment to catch her breath as the gap in the lift doors widened.

Maybe it was a serial killer.

She glanced around for something weapony – just in case – but all she could see was a mannequin's arm sticking out of a nearby cart. She grabbed it and held it up as menacingly as she could as the lift doors parted to reveal... the Doctor.

"Hello," he said, and waved at her.

Rose was momentarily dumfounded. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm responding to an emergency call from a frantic woman."

Rose frowned. "What emergency call? What frantic woman?"

"Your mum," the Doctor stated dryly. "According to Jackie, you should have been home hours ago. She was worried you might be in danger."

"Why would she think I'd be in danger?"

"If I had to hazard a guess... because you're jeopardy friendly, and it's Christmas and well, we do have a bit of a track record really."

Rose gave an exasperated sigh. "I got locked in, that's all."

"Well, it's a good job I dropped by, isn't it?" He looked Rose up and down. "By the way, why are you holding a dummy's arm? Feeling nostalgic for the old days, are you?"

Rose looked at the mannequin's arm she was still holding. Deciding not to dignify the Doctor's question with a response, she instead threw the arm back into the cart she'd pulled it out of, and charged into the lift to stand next to the Doctor.

"Can we just go?"

"Where to?" the Doctor asked.

Rose set him with a sullen glare. "Home," she said insistently.

The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at the lift's control panel. "Your wish is my command," he said, as the metal doors closed with a creak, and the lift juddered into life. The Doctor glanced at Rose. "Ground floor, perfumery, stationery and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, kitchenware and food. Going up."

Rose struggled to suppress a smile. "Ground floor exit doors – that's all I'm interested in."

The Doctor nodded. "I suppose you want to put your feet up and watch a Christmas film."

"As long as it isn't..." The lift jerked, and at the exact same moment there was a loud 'bang' from the control panel as the lift stopped abruptly.

Rose saw that both the basement button and the ground floor button were lit up, which she assumed meant they were stuck between floors.

She looked accusingly at the Doctor. "What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did something?" the Doctor asked, sounding somewhat affronted.

"Because I didn't do anything, and by process of elimination that means you did something!"

"Let me have a look," the Doctor blustered, as he approached the control panel and hovered his sonic screwdriver over the buttons.

"Do you think you should be doing that?" Rose asked.

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder at Rose. "Are you casting aspersions on my screwdriver?"

"Yes," Rose said firmly.

The Doctor's mouth narrowed. "I'll have you know that my sonic screwdriver is a multi-functional, highly complex analytical tool."

"Oh," Rose said in feigned surprise, "so it's not just for resonating concrete then?"

"Resonating concrete is just one of..." he stopped, took a calming breath, and began again. "It's a technological wonder of my own making – a pocket-sized phenomenon, if you will."

"Then maybe you should be more careful what you wave it at," Rose grumbled.

"I don't wave it," the Doctor corrected witheringly, "It's not a wand."

"Maybe it'd be more use if it was a wand. Maybe if it was a wand we wouldn't be stuck in a broken-down lift on Christmas Eve!"

The Doctor turned his attention back to the control panel. "And maybe if I didn't keep getting interrupted I'd find out what's wrong with the lift," he muttered under his breath.

Rose leaned back against the metal wall of the lift and allowed herself the luxury of watching the Doctor as he scanned the control panel with the screwdriver. His face was intent, his eyes steely, his jaw clenched. His hands were large and his fingers were long, his body athletic in build. His muscles were taut and lean. She couldn't help but imagine...

No, no, no. She couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't let her imagination wander off on its own like that. Especially not in enclosed spaces. No good would come of that.

The Doctor stepped away from the control panel and Rose forced herself to derail her train of thought and get back to the right here right now.

"Well," she asked hopefully, "do you know what's wrong with it?"

The Doctor slipped his screwdriver into his jacket pocket."Yes," he said. "It's broken down."

Rose wanted to contain her smile, but she really couldn't. "Assets?" she suggested.

"Not even a banana," the Doctor replied mournfully, all the while mirroring Rose's grin.

"I've got a satsuma," Rose said, reaching into her pocket and throwing it to the Doctor.

"Fantastic," the Doctor said as he caught the satsuma and put it into his pocket. "Not as good as a banana but fantastic all the same."

Rose closed the distance between them and looked up into his eyes. "You're an idiot," she said fondly.

"An idiot with a satsuma," the Doctor corrected, his eyes sparkling. "And a plan."

"You have a plan?"

"Rose Tyler, when have you ever known me not to have a plan?"

Rose shrugged. "I dunno... I always get the impression you kind of make it up as you go."

"Yeah well," the Doctor conceded, "I do that too – but only when I don't have a plan."

Rose smiled. "Ok, so what's the plan?"

The Doctor looked up at the lift ceiling, and its square shaped plastic panel. Then he looked back to Rose. "We go up."

"Up?" Rose echoed doubtfully.

"Yes."

"Your plan is that we climb up the lift shaft?"

"Yes." The Doctor grinned.

"To the ground floor?"

"To the third floor."

"No," Rose said.

"We have to climb to the third floor because that's the only way we can get to the roof."

"Why do we have to get to the roof?" Rose asked.

"That's where the TARDIS is."

Rose was silent.

"Well?" the Doctor pressed.

"I'm thinking!"

"And?"

Rose frowned. "Is it safe?"

"Perfectly safe." The Doctor held Rose's gaze for a moment. "Probably safe," he corrected. He sighed. "It's safe-ish."

Rose waved her hand to stop him from digging a bigger hole. "Fine," she said.

"Really?" he sounded surprised.

"It's not like I have much of a choice, is it?" She shook her head. "Ok, so how are we doing this?"

"Ladies first," the Doctor said emphatically.

Rose lifted a sceptical eyebrow. "Seriously? Ladies first? This isn't the sinking of the Titanic, Doctor."

"Ladies first, because you're going to have to stand on my shoulders to get through the hatch," the Doctor explained.

Rose looked up at the ceiling of the lift, and then back at the Doctor. "Oh," she said.

~oOo~

Rose stood on the top of the service lift, carefully balanced to avoid the open hatch as the Doctor climbed up to join her. She peered dubiously upward, silently contemplating the wisdom (or stupidity) of what they were about to do. The shaft was dark, aside from the light that came from the lift below, and it had an oily odour that reminded her of a car engine. She wrinkled her nose in disapproval.  After a second, she looked at the Doctor, only to find him grinning like a schoolboy.

"You're enjoying this," she said accusingly.

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Your gormless grin for a start."

The Doctor glanced around the lift shaft. "I don't know what you're so worried about. This is going to be a doddle. Look," he said, pointing to something behind Rose. "There's a maintenance ladder running the entire length of the shaft. What more could we ask for?"

"A safety harness?" Rose suggested.

The Doctor gave Rose an earnest look. "You don't need a safety harness; you've got me. Do you really think I'd let anything happen to you?"

"No," Rose conceded, "I don't."

"Glad to hear it," the Doctor said as he stepped over the open hatch, so that he was standing next to Rose. "Because that's not the kind of man I am."

"Ladies first then," Rose said briskly as she turned, grabbed hold of the ladder and took a step up.

A couple of seconds later, the Doctor stepped up onto the ladder too and each began their climb.

They made steady progress, and in very little time, they had almost reached the second floor lift doors. It was then that they heard a metallic creaking noise reverberate through the shaft.

Rose abruptly stopped climbing and glanced over her shoulder to the Doctor.

"What was that?"

The Doctor looked down the shaft then back to Rose as another, louder creak echoed from below them.

"We might have a slight problem," the Doctor admitted.

"What kind of problem?"

There was a noisy grinding sound beneath them, as the lift below shuddered into life, moving slowly up the shaft toward them.

"Looks like the lift is working again," the Doctor said somewhat unnecessarily.

"How can it be working?" Rose asked as she climbed another couple of steps higher on the ladder. "You said it was broken-down!"

"Yes, well..." the Doctor glanced back to gauge the lift's progress. "It might not have been as broken-down as I first thought."

"You think?" Rose climbed another three ladder rungs.

"I suppose there could have been a slight delay when I tried to repair the control panel with the sonic screwdriver," the Doctor mused, and then he grinned to himself. "So you can take back all that wand rubbish now can't you?"

"Never mind that!" Rose interrupted. "What are we going to do now?"

The rumbling noise was becoming louder and both Rose and the Doctor could clearly see the lift getting closer and closer.

"We're going to have to jump," the Doctor said decisively. "I'll go first and I'll tell you when it's safe for you to jump down after me."

He smiled at Rose, then let go of the ladder and jumped. Rose heard a thud as he landed on top of the approaching lift.

Rose waited a second, her wide eyes watching the lift move steadily closer and the Doctor balancing on its top.

"Doctor?" As a precautionary measure, she climbed another two rungs of the ladder.  "Doctor?"

"Now, Rose!" the Doctor shouted from below. "Jump now!"

Immediately Rose let go of the ladder and, aiming as best she could she jumped down. As soon as she landed, the Doctor swept her into his arms, holding her tightly against him; making certain that she didn't stumble.

Rose held onto the Doctor too, instinctively wrapping her arms around his neck as the lift shuddered beneath them. She looked up and found herself staring into such intense, dark eyes that for a moment the entire world fell away, and they were all that existed. But then, only a second later, the moment was gone as the Doctor scrambled for the open hatch, and Rose followed, lowering herself through the gap as the Doctor reached up to help. She was halfway through, when the lift gave a sudden jolt and she and the Doctor fell into a heap on the floor.

After a moment, Rose pushed herself up onto her hands, realising as she did so that she was straddling the Doctor, who was lying beneath her; having softened her landing as they'd fallen. He looked a little winded and his eyes were closed.

"Doctor?" she asked. "Are you ok?"

"Never better," he replied, then groaned. "On second thoughts, remind me to book an appointment with a chiropractor when we get back to the TARDIS."

Rose bit back a smile then leant in close and dropped a kiss to the Doctor's cheek. "My hero," she teased.

The Doctor opened his eyes and looked at Rose as his hand slid to her hip. Rose held her breath for a heartbeat or three and stared at him. It would be easy to lean in again, to kiss him the way she'd always imagined doing. All she would have to do was...

In one swift, easy movement, the Doctor rolled Rose over so that he was above her. Before Rose even realised what was happening, he had pushed himself up onto his feet and held out his hand to her as the lift shuddered once more, but this time, the metal doors opened.

The Doctor shot Rose a broad grin as he took her hand in his and helped her to her feet. "Run!"

~oOo~

The third floor of Henriks was mainly offices and storage space. There was also a canteen and a locker room, but both were strictly for senior staff and managers.

However, one of the rooms had a plaque on the door that read 'CCTV SECURITY'. Upon seeing it, Rose stopped suddenly, let go the Doctor's hand and gestured to the door.

"Doctor, what about the security cameras? The police are going to turn up at my door on Christmas Day! My mum's gonna go mental!"

The Doctor shook his head. "This isn't my first rodeo, Rose. I took care of the cameras when I came in from the roof. I don't want to go viral on YouTube any more than you do."

Rose let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that's ok then."

"Did it with my sonic screwdriver if you're interested."

Rose struggled to contain her smile. "Ok," she conceded, "I take back everything I ever said about your screwdriver. Now, how do we get onto the rooftop?"

"This way," the Doctor said as they continued down the hallway, passing office after office, each one decorated with garlands, tinsel and shiny Christmas ornaments. "It's the door at the end."

The door at the end of the hallway was an unassuming white metal door. The Doctor turned the handle easily, and the door opened without a sound. Rose and the Doctor walked through, closed it behind them and walked up a set of seven metal steps that brought them out onto the rooftop itself.

Rose looked up at the night sky, which was a deep midnight blue, scattered with a thousand bright stars.

"Wow," she said softly, "it's beautiful." She looked at the Doctor and saw that his eyes shone just as brightly, except that he was looking at her and not the stars.

"Never gets old, does it?"

Rose shook her head. "Never," she agreed.

The Doctor looked up at the night sky. "Look," he said, and pointed. "It's a shooting star! Make a wish!"

Rose looked up and wrinkled her nose in consideration. "It's probably not a shooting star, it's probably just space junk, or a satellite," she reasoned, then she shook her head. "Actually with my luck, it's more likely to be the first ship of an invading alien fleet."

"Or it's a shooting star," the Doctor countered. "Do you really want to take the chance?" He leaned in close to Rose and gently brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear as she stared up into his eyes. "Make a wish," he said softly.

Rose's eyes fluttered closed and she held her breath for a moment. She imagined that she could feel the turn of the Earth, she imagined she could feel the Doctor draw her into his arms, and despite her previous misgivings she made her wish with all her heart.

A shrill noise broke the moment, and Rose opened her eyes to see the Doctor rummaging through the pockets of his leather jacket for his phone. The expression on his face when he looked at the screen, told Rose exactly who was calling.

"Hello Jackie," the Doctor said as he answered the phone. "Yes, yes of course I found her. She's here with me now. No, she wasn't abducted by aliens..."

Rose took the phone from the Doctor. "Hi Mum, it's me. Yes, of course I'm ok.  Yes, I'm sure." Rose rolled her eyes. "I just got a bit delayed at work, that's all. Nothing to worry about. I would have rung you, but my phone's dead." She hesitated for a moment. "But I thought we were gonna watch a Christmas film and..." She shook her head. "No, it's fine. Really. I don't mind. No, really I don't. You have a good time. Yeah. Love you too. Bye." She hung up and handed the phone back to the Doctor.

"Everything ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Rose said. "She's off out with her mates now that she knows I'm not in mortal danger. There's an ugly jumper contest on at 'The Grapes' an' she thinks she's in with a chance of winning." She shrugged. "She's going to stay the night at Karen's."

"Come on," the Doctor said gently, as he took Rose's hand in his. "Let's get you home."

And hand in hand they walked together toward the TARDIS, which was standing on the far side of the rooftop.

~oOo~

The door to flat 48 Bucknall House on the Powell Estate, boasted a large Christmas wreath trimmed with red tinsel, holly and tiny silver bells. The bells jingled slightly as Rose put her key into the lock and pushed the door open. She stepped inside the flat, switched on the lights and glanced back at the Doctor.

"You really didn't have to walk me home you know."

"I couldn't risk you being abducted by aliens, could I?" the Doctor teased as he closed the door and followed Rose inside.

Rose shrugged off her jacket and hung it up. "Well in that case, the least I can do is make you a cup of tea."

"I've never been one to refuse a cup of tea," the Doctor said, "especially if it comes with a biscuit," he hinted.

Rose laughed. "Well you're in luck – mum bought a tin of posh biscuits yesterday. In fact, I might even be able to stretch to a mince pie. It is Christmas after all."

"Rose Tyler, are you trying to tempt me with Christmas pastries?" the Doctor asked, as he followed Rose into the sitting room.

Rose glanced over her shoulder, her tongue slipping to the corner of her mouth as she smiled. "Might be."

As Rose went into the kitchen the Doctor looked around the sitting room, which was heavily decorated with tinsel. Two stuffed Christmas stockings hung on the fireplace, and festive cushions were on the settee. He walked over to the Christmas tree, which was decked out with multi-coloured fairy lights, baubles and red and white peppermint candy canes.  He looked at the pile of gifts laid under the tree, all wrapped in bright, colourful paper and ribbon.

"Kettle's on," Rose said as she returned to the sitting room.

The Doctor smiled at Rose, then glanced back to the Christmas tree. "It's not hard to tell if you've been naughty or nice this year."

Rose shook her head. "They're not all mine! Some are mum's, and there's a few there for Mickey an' a couple for you."

"Me?" the Doctor said, sounding genuinely surprised. "Why do I have Christmas presents?"

"Because Christmas is a time to celebrate. To spend time with family, with friends, with people you... love. Gift giving is a tradition," Rose explained. "It's part of Christmas, like crackers and chestnuts and mince pies and eggnog."

"You have eggnog?"

Rose stared at him. "No," she said after a moment. "We're out of eggs... and nogs."

"Oh," the Doctor said.

"Doctor," Rose continued, "You are coming tomorrow aren't you?"

"Tomorrow?" the Doctor echoed.

"Christmas Day."

He shrugged. "I didn't think I was invited."

"Of course you're..." Rose stopped and began again. "It wouldn't be Christmas without you."

"You said Christmas was a time for family and..."

Rose took a step closer to him. "You are family." She smiled up at him. "Weird, alien, nine hundred times removed family, but family all the same."

"Well, when you put it like that." The Doctor grinned.

"I almost forgot," Rose said as she beamed at him. "You get to open one Christmas gift on Christmas Eve."

"I do?"

Rose reached under the tree, and picked up a box wrapped in shiny blue paper and a silver ribbon. "It's tradition," she said, as she handed it to the Doctor.

"What is it?" the Doctor asked as he shook the box experimentally.

"Open it an' see." Rose laughed. "Do you have any idea how hard you are to buy for? I mean, what do you get the man who has everything?"

The Doctor unwrapped the box as Rose watched. Wrapping paper and ribbon fluttered down to the carpet, revealing a plain cardboard box. The Doctor opened the box to reveal a pair of fluffy earmuffs in baby pink.

He looked at Rose and bit back a smile. "Very amusing."

"Put them on!"

"No."

"But pink might be your colour."

"I'm making an effort not to be insulted."

"They were mums idea, not mine," Rose confessed as she swallowed down her laughter. "I like your ears."

The Doctor stared at Rose for a moment then put the earmuffs back into their box, and set them down onto an armchair. "I think maybe I should go."

"You're not staying for a cup of tea? The kettle should be boiled now..."

The Doctor shook his head. "It's late."

"I suppose it is." She held his gaze for a moment. "You will come over tomorrow though, yeah? For Christmas."

The corner of the Doctor's mouth tugged up into a crooked smile. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Rose smiled back at him. "I'll see you out then," she said, and they walked together the short distance from the sitting room, out into the hall to the front door of the flat.

At the door they hesitated and the Doctor glanced up to see a spring of mistletoe hanging from a red ribbon.

"Another Christmas tradition?" he asked quietly.

"Oh," Rose said a little awkwardly. "Yeah, I suppose so."

The Doctor stepped closer, put one hand on Rose's hip and leaned in to press a slow, soft kiss to her lips, before drawing back slightly to look into her eyes.

"You're wrong, you know," he said quietly.

"Wrong about what?" Rose asked.

"I'm not the man who has everything." He let out a breath of confession. "And... all I want for Christmas, is you."

Wide-eyed, Rose stared at the Doctor for a moment, half convinced that she'd imagined... and then impulsively, she slipped her arms up and around his neck. Drawing him closer, she finally kissed him the way she'd always wanted to.

What started out so innocently, so gentle and tentative, quickly became hungry, passionate and desperate. They clung to each other, their hands frantically pulling their bodies closer, but somehow failing to reach the singular intimacy they needed.

Their kiss broke and Rose gasped for breath as she felt herself being lifted up, turned, her back pressed against the wall. She wrapped her legs around the Doctor's hips, raked her fingernails through his cropped hair, sought the ferocity of his kiss.

She had dreamed of this so many times, night after night, but even her wildest dreams hadn't come close to what it felt like to know that this was real.

They moved again, this time she was pushed up against a door as the Doctor lifted her higher, pushing into her body, tasting and seeking and learning with a desire he had never before allowed such freedom.

Again they broke the kiss. The Doctor found the secret hollow at the base of Rose's neck and pressed his lips to the pulse that raced beneath her skin. Rose's eyes closed and she felt her blood burn.

"I want you," he confessed, the words falling through kisses against her fevered skin.

Rose felt her smile grow wide with satisfaction. "Want you too."

She reached behind her, her hand searching for the door handle. Frustration and desire and need made her clumsy, and she groaned because of it. Eventually she found the handle and her fingers wrapped around it, pushing down.

They stumbled into the bedroom, but clung together, finding the bed in the shadows of the room, and falling into its soft welcome.

The Doctor pulled back, his eyes intently searching Rose's. She stared back at him, instinctively understanding the reason behind his sudden hesitation. She knew that he was certain, even now, that if he looked close enough, deep enough, he would see doubt in her eyes. A reason to walk away.

Her hand cupped his face and she smiled, wanting so much for him to see everything that was in her heart.

She watched his doubts fade away; seeing them disappear before her eyes. Her heart filled with her love for him, and she drew him close to her as he moved toward her body, seeking and finding his place there.

They pushed at their clothes, and between caress and kiss and trembled breath, they revealed their bodies, naked skin to naked skin. They moved together, breathless, restless and desperate for the completion they both needed.  

Their bodies arched together. The Doctor pushed inside Rose and as she cried out his name they began to move into a rhythm as old as time. Bliss came quickly for them; as everything they had ever hoped and dreamed, they found in one another. Together they burned in a fire brighter than any sun.

Afterwards, tangled and breathless, the peace of perfect oblivion claimed them both.

~oOo~

"Rose?" Jackie called as she closed the front door and walked into the flat.

"I'm in the kitchen, mum!" Rose reached for a mug and set about making a strong coffee.

Jackie walked through the sitting room and into the kitchen, where she wrapped Rose up into a hug. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

"Merry Christmas, mum."

Jackie picked up the mug of coffee and took a sip, before letting out a long slow sigh of satisfaction. "You're a mind-reader Rose, you really are. Coffee's just what I need to make me feel human again."

"Thought it might be," Rose said as she walked into the sitting room with Jackie following behind. "Did you have a good night?"

"Yes, it was brilliant," Jackie enthused. "You should have come down. You would have enjoyed yourself."

Rose shook her head. "I wanted a quiet night."

"I won the ugly jumper contest!" Jackie announced, as if she'd only just remembered, and took another sip of coffee.

Rose looked at her mum's garish red, green and white Christmas jumper. "I'm not surprised."

"So how was your quiet night then?"

Rose smiled to herself for a moment. "I saw a shooting star and made a wish."

"Shooting star," Jackie said with a not so subtle roll of her eyes. "It was probably a satellite."

"No, it was definitely a shooting star."

"Oh yeah?" Jackie said sceptically. "Wish come true did it?"

Rose said nothing, she just took a sip of her tea.

"I'm gonna have a lie down for a half an hour. Then we'll do presents," Jackie announced. "You don't mind do you, sweetheart?"

"'Course I don't mind," Rose said as she sat down in the armchair and picked up the TV remote.

Jackie dropped a kiss to Rose's head, then she took her coffee through to her bedroom as Rose started flicking through channels until she found what she wanted to watch.

A minute or so later Jackie walked back into the sitting room. "Rose?" she began, sounding somewhat confused.

Rose glanced up and immediately bit back a smile of surprise. "Yeah?" she said, as innocently as she could.

"Why is there a satsuma in my bed?" Jackie asked as she held up the offending fruit.

Rose struggled to contain her smile. "Wouldn't be Christmas without a satsuma."

Jackie hesitated a moment as if thinking over Rose's reasoning, then she shrugged. "I suppose not," she said, and headed back to bed.

Rose allowed herself a broad, secret smile and, wrapped up in her fluffy pink dressing gown, she settled down to watch 'Elf'.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Misfit of Demon King Academy 1 | Healin’ Good PreCure 13 - 14 | Lapis Re:Lights 1 | God of High School 1 | Muhyo and Roji’s BSI s2 1

Misfit of Demon King Academy 1

This originally had the ecchi tag on its anime entry on AniList…or, at least, that’s how it was in my memory…but now that I see it doesn’t have that, it’s just another reincarnation isekai-type series. Let’s dig into it!

I…think this guy is meant to be portrayed as “hot” because he has the piercing eyes and he’s tall (against the girls in what will presumedly be his harem), but he kind of looks like your standard Potato-kun in a white outfit…so, uh…*shrugs*

Uh…is that guy meant to be Indian? You can’t get more obvious than the “Indu” family. Update: You see his brother later and Leorg has fairer skin, so maybe not.

LOL, “Flame of Darkness” makes someone nothing but a chuunibyou.

Uh…this is called The Misfit of Demon King Academy, y’know? Anos (Anoth?) is gonna get in, you bet your butts.

The owl is cute.

…guy, that 3 second rule thing was actually funny, but the more you think about the joke, the less funny it gets. Show: 1. Me: Infinity -1

Just from appearances, I wanna guess Misha is an ice or light magic user, or whatever equivalent the show has.

Is this what Assassin’s Pride could have been…?

How did the mother (Anoth’s) think her kid maturing that fast wasn’t weird?

Mushroom gratin? Is that an actual dish?...Yep, seems so. Sounds nice. I like mushrooms.

What’s up with young mothers in anime these days? Then again, the only other point of reference I have is Masamune-kun’s Revenge…

I thought it was the other Indu guy we saw earlier. This guy’s…not that bad-looking, though (LOL, my preferences ring out loud and clear…)…welp, spoke too soon. There he is. Update: Leorg kinda looks like Hakuto Kunai from Demon Lord, Retry!, come to think of it.

If Zepes died several times over the course of this episode…would one more death actually matter? (Not really, to be honest. Zepes is a scumbag.)

Come to think of it, this anime got postponed due to COVID, yeah? Was that why there was a sakuga spot earlier…?

Was that Sasha (Misha’s sister)? I found her name while checking if the anime was postponed.

I like the colour choices in this show, at least.

I don’t think this show has the best sense of comedic timing. Let your jokes breathe, dammit! That’s what comedic beats are for!

In a season with more offerings, I might get rid of this or pause it, but the season’s fairly sparse as it stands (darn virus!) so it stays.

Update: I didn’t notice, but an Anime News Network staff member wrote that Anoth’s surname is familiar…if you read Harry Potter.

Healin’ Good PreCure 13

Gotta start in the middle for this and work our way back. Note I did watch the 1st 2 eps without subs earlier this year when they were on the official PreCure YouTube, so I’m ahead of most people.

(From wandering the wiki and the news) I’ve seen nothing but pink/blue/yellow Cures these days, so I kind miss the more adventurous colours like green and orange…but then again, I never really liked green. It’s the colour of envy and…as petty as it sounds, I think I developed that bias because green is stereotypically the colour of rot, vomit (aside from anime’s rainbow vomit) and stinky things.

I didn’t notice this, but there’s a faint highlight on the Cures’ eyes (red for Grace, purple for Fontaine and blue for Sparkle).

It’s a drone! In PreCure! Yay! (It finally hit me exactly how much of a distant dream it’s been – from watching Suite and episodes of most of the other PreCure ‘til now – watching PreCure legally as a simulcast is! It’s crazy and it only took, what…5 years between Suite and this? 16 if you count from Futari wa to Healin’ Good.)

Is it that drone?

Hah? This is almost like the electricity-themed PreCure I came up with on the fan wiki. It’s not like I could sue Toei for it, though…they own that stuff, I only own what came out of my own imagination.

The subs say “Rate”, but “rate” has a meaning in English. No wonder the initial wiki translations say “Latte”, especially because the queen is “Teatine” to match.

Okay, so Mei is the sis and Yota is the brother. Got it.

Hey! What if there was a PreCure where the villains had devastated another world before? That would really raise the stakes.

“[T]hunders” (sic)? Thunder is the sound, lightning is the flash. Which one is it?

I see. As soon as they identified it as the Element of Lightning, I sort of guessed they could add it to their repertoire later, and I was right.

Its’s nice to see they put a woman in the moving company as well. Proves that girls can do anything they set their minds to, even what are supposedly “men’s jobs”.

I guess from the face I should’ve expected the element to talk, like the Fairy Tones from Suite, but I didn’t really figure that out until I saw it talk,

I feel like Hinata should’ve gone to see how Mei made her juice. That way, the two might be able to make similar-tasting juice…but that’s just an idea.

Healin’ Good PreCure 14

I feel like Byogens were responsible for Nodoka’s sickness, much like they are for Latte.

“Energy Source” seems to refer to a place where energy appears…I know that sounds a bit dumb if you don’t realise genki hakken means something like “appearance of energy (for a person)”, but…yeah, the PreCure series is like this. Unfortunately, that’s what you have to deal with.

I feel like this “teamwork overcomes all hardships” message is important in this time of COVID-19.

Guaiwaru = “condition is bad”, or ill health (guai ga warui).

Is that the element of air? I thought the PreCure would’ve used their element of lightning to fix the steamer, but hey, teamwork works too.

I’m a weeny bit peevy they translate minna to “girls”. It’s correct in context when it’s been translated that way, but minna means “everybody”.

I imagined Hinata saying “Watashi no smartphone ga!” instead of “Atarashii sumaho ga hoshii!”

Lapis Re:Lights 1

Eh…COVID-19 means I gotta sample things I’m not so crazy about.

Why is one of the first lines in this show “My behind hurts!”?

Bristol? Is this England?...Nope, it’s a place called “Mamkestell”.

I was thinking this girl…I think the reviews said her name was Tiara…was going to sing to the flower to make it perk up again, but nup, she whistled to it. That seems a bit irrelevant, to be honest. (I would prefer an all or nothing approach to a wish-washy approach like this…as in, if this is an idol show, then either go all in with the singing and dancing, or do something else that’ll catch my attention.)

Tiara’s face looks hella generic.

For some reason, I get this ominous feeling when the word “witch” is mentioned…must be the instinct from Madoka popping up again.

Lemme guess. Lynette is the bookworm?...*sigh* Just another method of showing a character is a bookworm without actually showing their reading a book, which I think is counterintuitive.

Get some protective gear, girls!

Rosetta keeps saying “Yes” (in English).

Lemme guess…people ship the dumb one and the smart one? They’re like a gender-flipped Dice and Gentaro, only the smart one is more uppity and the stupid one is more sporty.

The word appears to be noumei, but that exact word doesn’t seem to exist. Lavie seems to say the word is the opposite to something else, but I can’t tell what that is either…

Albino rabbit, eh?

…people probably ship Rosetta and Tiara too, right? *sigh*

So there’s…no singing in this fantasy/idol show. Whistling is how you invoke magic…so how is someone who can’t whistle supposed to invoke magic?!

Whose idea was it to put the OP in the middle of the episode?

It was “Neechan, daikirai!” “Forget you” is a fairly loose translation…

Little Miss Rosetta = Rosetta-chan.

I think Tiara called Rosetta “sensei” when the former wanted the latter to take care of her (i.e. take her to their dorm).

Titi = Tiara. I didn’t actually figure that out because I thought it referred to the rabbits.

Gah! These almost-real-world names (or real world names, in regards to “Bristol”) are gonna drive me NUTS!

*sigh* Boob jiggle.

*sighhhhhhhhh…* Lemme guess, there’s a potential expulsion on the horizon? Update: Yep. Dropped.

God of High School 1

First Webtoon series I’m covering here.

Oh, I checked out the first chapter of the webtoon because CR linked it to their anime page. The only difference I’ve seen from that, aside from fleshing out the backgrounds, is…that creepy skull (?) on the wall.

You can tell it’s Korean when I don’t understand what the text says. (I don’t know Korean, but I do know some Chinese and Japanese.) Update: This is Japanese-dubbed, but they left the Korean text in.

That intro is much more powerful now that the backgrounds are fleshed out.

Ooh, the colours in the OP are very nice!

Hmm? They’re starting with the grandpa, rather than starting with “I’m Mori Jin, 17 years old”? Good choice.

The expressions in this show are funny. I like them already.

Waittttttttt…I dunno how Korean names work. Is Mori Jin’s first name “Mori” or “Jin”? Update: I checked it up, and I got even more confused!

KORG Arena seems to be…from Marvel? Like BnHA references Star Wars???

*sigh* Moonbucks? Again?...and of course the girls only talk about “hotties”. We need a Bechdel test in this thing.

The comments on ch. 1 said “A new Luffy is born”, so now I agree with it…but they’re not going to show how Mori Jin was enlisted for GOH (as they seem to abbreviate it)?

There’s Japanese, English and Korean in the afro dude’s comments.

I’m amazed that tall dude with the spiky hair wasn’t more surprised about Mori Jin and the girl passing by…

Would those glasses on Mori Jin’s head be any help? Update: Turns out those aren’t “glasses”…they’re a sleeping mask.

Kamina glasses!

They put CR and Webtoon advertising over everything in this anime…geesh.

These red parts of people’s noses are gonna bug me, aren’t they…?

It should be battle royale, right? Update: Okay, so I checked and both are correct spellings.

This seems like the sort of thing that would never get funded because you need to pull off every battle scene right.

They cut the initial fight with “Blondie” out, but that actually makes things more interesting! Good choice.

Lemme guess – Mori Jin is going to have to fight this Kang Manseouk guy at full power one day? *shrugs* (Can I stop referring to people by their full names already??? I can’t stop until I know which is the first name and which is the last.) Update: So the wiki finally helped me out and Mori is the first name and Jin the last, meaning I can call him “Mori”. Got it.

*Mori suddenly pulls the prisoner’s pants down* - That was…random.

I liked it more than I thought I would! (Just for reference, the other protag dude is called Han Dae-wi and the girl is Yoo Mira.)

Muhyo and Roji’s BSI s2 1

(Update for the Tumblr fans: I finished s1 outside the seasonal format.) 

Kokkuri-san never goes well in anime…

Where does Nana work again…?

I don’t think Muhyo and Roji are legally (magically legally?) obligated to tell Nana anything about what they do.

Yay! Goryo is animted for the first time! He has such a beautiful voice~!

Notably, Roji wouldn’t have had a smartphone in 2004 (or whatever year close to that when the manga put this bit out).

Goryo (5) vs Muhyo (6). Didn’t figure this out at the time I read the manga.

I think the subbers misgendered Goryo. Goryo is a dude, as can be gathered from the name “Daranimaru”.

“Waka”? Does that stand for “young head [of the office]” or something?

Okay, whose bright idea was it to pair Now on Air (female vocalists) with Muhyo and Roji’s (a series dominated with dudes)…?

Ah, Funimation is on the production team of this anime. That would explain the dub rights.

[emospritelet]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9][Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14] [Part 15] [Part 16]

[AO3]

Last time, Lacey told Weaver she was going to Vegas for a funeral. Weaver realised she was lying through her teeth, found out her true destination, and decided to follow her. Mulan and Merida tag along for the ride.

x

Detectives Weaver and Fa, and Officer Dunbroch, took the first flight out that they could get, snatching what sleep they could during the trip. They landed on Friday morning, collecting the hire car that Weaver had booked and then grabbing a quick bite to eat while they planned their next move in solving the mystery that was Lacey.

“Her plane lands just after three,” said Fa, stirring her coffee. “If she’s meeting someone, we should check out the arrivals. We’ll need to be ready to follow them.”

“Any idea what she’s here for?” asked Merida, and Weaver shook his head, dipping a few fries into his ketchup.

“The only lead I have is that she has a tiny key that she stole from me, and a code,” he said. “No idea what the code is for, but the key means she needs a safe deposit box. Which means a bank.”

He shoved the fries in his mouth, chewing.

“Doesn’t exactly narrow it down,” said Merida. “Probably means we’ll be in the centre of the city, though.”

“Don’t suppose she has any sort of tracker on her phone?” asked Fa, and Weaver shook his head again.

“We should split up in case we lose her,” said Fa, putting a hand on Merida’s knee. “And don’t take this the wrong way, babe, but you kind of stand out.”

Merida shook her red curls, pulling a face.

“I can be inconspicuous when I want to!”

“You can’t even spell inconspicuous,” said Weaver bluntly. “You can wait in the hire car. Fa and I will scope out the airport.”

“Oh, and you think your wife will just breeze on past you without noticing?” demanded Merida. “Don’t be fucking stupid!”

“Both of you can hang back and keep your damn faces hidden as much as you can,” said Fa, in a tone that meant she had made up her mind. “I’ll follow Lacey. If I can get close enough, I’ll try to plant a tracker on her.”

“Don’t risk blowing the whole thing,” warned Weaver.

“Come on, I’m not a rookie,” she said, giving him a flat look. “If I can’t do it without her getting suspicious, then I won’t bother.”

“There won’t be much of a window in which to reach her,” said Merida. “What’s the plan if you can’t place the tracker?”

“If someone’s meeting her, they’ll need transport, which either means a cab or a car,” said Fa. “If we split ourselves between the hire car and the cabs we should be okay. Weaver can take the hire car, we’ll follow her in a cab. We’ll stay in touch, meet up wherever she goes.”

“Sounds good,” said Weaver. “I asked her to call me when her plane landed. We’ll see what she has to say for herself then.”

“You think she’ll call?” asked Merida, stealing some of his fries.

“Oh yes,” he said dryly. “She’ll want to keep up the subterfuge as long as possible, believe me. I’m gonna let her think she’s got me fooled.”

x

Lacey had slept poorly, worried about what lay ahead, and missing both Weaver and Tilly. She was thankful that she had caught the earliest flight possible, as it meant she could stop staring at the ceiling and at least keep busy with getting to the airport and boarding the plane. She managed to snooze a little on the flight over, but felt her heart sink as it came in to land. Whatever secrets Fiona wanted her to retrieve, they would be found in Boston.

She looked through her bag, finding her tickets, a passport and driving licence in the name of Isabelle French, and the deposit box key she had taken from Weaver. She was still unsure on the pass code she had taken pictures of. Neither Fiona nor Azurine had mentioned the code, and so she hadn’t either, holding onto a faint hope that there was still a piece of this puzzle they weren’t aware of.

As she hit the arrivals lounge, she pulled out her phone, wondering if she would catch Weaver. He answered on the third ring, his tone light.

“Hey,” he said. “How’s Vegas?”

“Just as dusty and overrun with gamblers as I remember,” she said, wincing as she lied to him yet again. “How’s Tilly?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” he said. “Nolan suggested that we take a trip down the coast this weekend.”

“Oh.” She chewed her lip. “Oh. Well, good. You guys have fun.”

“She can tell you all about it when you get back,” he added. “Any idea when that’ll be? If you send me your flight number I can pick you up.”

“Uh - yeah, sure.” Guilt ran spectral fingers over her skin and twisted in her hair. “I’ll - I’ll call you.”

“Okay.”

A pause, in which she heard what sounded like a sigh. When he spoke again, his voice was more gentle. More desperate.

“Take care, Lacey,” he said. “We both love you, never forget that. Take care, and come home.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

“Bye,” she whispered, and hung up.

She slipped the phone into her bag and ran her hands over her face, breathing hard to calm herself. At least they were safe. They were together, and they were safe. That was all that mattered. She dropped her hands, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes of the tears that still threatened to fall, and raised her chin. Time to move.

The arrivals lounge was busy, but she had only brought a small carry-on case on wheels, and so she was able to get through it quickly. She had been told to watch out for someone waiting for her, and sure enough, in amongst the cab drivers holding up signs with names scrawled on, was a tall young man with blonde hair and a secretive smile, a sign in his hands reading Schwartz. Lacey took a breath, stomping over to him.

“Guess you’re my ride, huh?” she said. “Where are we headed?”

“Longbourn Chartered Bank,” he said, in a lazy drawl. “Pleased to meet you, Ms Schwartz. I’m Felix, your chauffeur.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” she snapped. “I’m not looking for a guided tour of the damn city!”

He smirked and turned away, heading off towards the car park. Lacey followed, dragging her little case, and a short young woman with a heavy coat and a cap pulled down over her eyes barged into her, almost sending her flying.

“Sorry,” she muttered, not looking back, and Lacey glared after her, watching her dark ponytail swinging as she headed for the cafeteria.

“We’re on a schedule here, ma’am,” said Felix, and Lacey scowled at him.

“Yeah, okay, I’m coming! That bitch almost ran me down!”

She picked up the pace, and he led her swiftly from the terminal and into the car park. A sleek Mercedes waited, shining black panels edged with chrome, and Lacey put her case in the trunk and got into the rear seat, tossing her bag aside and putting on her belt. The sooner this was over the better.

It didn’t take long to get to the bank, and Felix pulled up outside, opening the door to let her out.

“I guess I’ll meet you back here,” she said, but he shook his head.

“I’m coming in with you,” he said.

“I’m not about to make a run for it, am I?” she snapped.

“Orders are orders, Ms Schwartz.”

Lacey rolled her eyes.

“Fine,” she sighed. “Just stay out of the way. I’m not in the mood for this crap.”

She breezed past him, trotting up the steps of the bank and into the main lobby. It was pleasantly warm after the biting wind outside, despite the high ceiling. The floor was tiled in polished cream and black, and her heels rang on the tiles as she approached one of the gleaming wooden desks. A pretty young woman in a crisp dark blue suit greeted her with a smile.

“I have a deposit box here,” said Lacey, hoping it was true. “I need to access it.”

“Of course,” chirped the woman. “We’ll need your I.D. Do you have your key?”

“Yeah.”

Lacey dug in her bag for the padded envelope she had containing the key and her identification. Glancing over her shoulder, she could see Felix hovering a pace or two back. The bank clerk was tapping away at her computer, and she looked up with a smile.

“That’s fine, Ms Schwartz,” she said. “If you’d like to follow me?”

She led Lacey to a door secured by an electronic keypad, and tapped in a code with flickering fingers. Felix had joined them, and the clerk glanced at him as she turned the handle.

“I’m afraid it’s key holders only past this point, sir,” she said.

Lacey felt like sticking her tongue out at him, but kept her face impassive, and he muttered that he would wait for her to come back out. She followed the clerk along a narrow corridor with thick carpet that softened their footsteps. Another door, another code, and she was let into a room with a single table and chair, and rows of small numbered boxes stacked two metres high. The clerk ran her eyes around the room, then walked swiftly to a box numbered 219 and put her key into one of the two locks there, turning it with a click. Drawing the box out of its slot, she placed it on the table in front of Lacey.

“It’s ready for you to use your own key,” she said. “Just knock on the door when you want me to let you out.”

She left, closing and locking the door behind her, and Lacey eyed the deposit box nervously. Staring at it wouldn’t help her get out of the situation she was in, and so she inserted her own key, turning it in the lock and hearing a click. She opened up the lid, pursing her lips at the contents. There was a portable hard drive, one of the old ones from years ago that would fit on a tiny flash drive these days. She lifted it out and set it aside. That was what Fiona had asked her to get. Underneath it was a letter, a thick cream envelope with her old name written on the front. Isabelle.

Licking her lips, she picked up the letter, slitting it open with a thumbnail and pulling out a sheet of paper that had been carefully folded into thirds. She opened it up, eyes scanning the page.

‘My dear Isabelle’, it said. ‘I’m writing this to you now in the hope that you will find it before any of the others. I know what’s happening to me. I know what the future holds on that front, and so I wanted to reach out while I still can. I have asked Mr Heller to track you down, and if you are reading this, he must have done so. He is a good man at heart, seeking to carry on the work of his late wife, and as soon as he finds you, I will be sending him the means to help you, and thereby help him to protect her legacy.

Perhaps my dearest wish will come true, and Mr Heller will bring you to me while I can still move and think and speak. Or perhaps this is all in vain, who can say? All I know is that I have to try to make it right. I’m sorry for the family your mother was born into, the family that I was a part of. I’m sorry about the man she married, the man your grandfather treated as his own son, as his heir to this great fortune built on misery and suffering. I’m sorry for everything you had to witness, for everything that happened to you. I’m sorry that I was too weak to stop it.

I’m more happy than you know that you were able to get away from that life, and I hope you can go on to find your own path and put this terrible past behind you. Your stepmother smiles and speaks of you fondly, as though she misses you, but I know you were fooled by her no more than I was. She will want what I have left for you in this box. I leave the decision on what to do with the contents to you.

The true prize is in my private safe, in the library at home. Look in the alcove behind the statue you always liked. You’ll find the safe there. Inside is all the evidence that your mother collected over the years when she was a doting wife, but could not find the strength to use. Evidence against your father and his businesses. Evidence against your stepmother. Perhaps it will be enough to let you be free of them. There must still be some good people left in the world, some officials yet to be corrupted by greed and self-interest. Alas, I never met one.

I offer you this evidence, dear Isabelle, in the hope that it will never be needed. In the hope that you will live your life happily without them ever finding you. If they do, though, perhaps this will give you something to use against them. I realise that I am trying to ease my own conscience as much as help you, but we must all find our courage where we can. God knows I have little enough of that.

Take care, dearest girl, and be assured that I wish you every happiness. Your loving Grandma.’

Lacey lowered the letter, chewing her lip as she blinked away a tear or two. Her grandmother had been the one person who had been a comforting presence, but she had not realised until that moment how trapped and helpless she had felt.

“Find your courage where you can,” she said quietly. “Guess I’ll have to try, huh? Do the brave thing?”

She dropped the letter back into the box, not wanting to take it with her when Felix was waiting outside. Slipping the hard drive into her bag, she locked up the box and left it on the table, rapping on the door for the bank clerk to let her out.

As she had suspected, Felix demanded that she hand over her bag as soon as they were outside. A cab had pulled into the space in front of them, two women on the back seat leaning in to hold one another. One of the women had very red hair, pulled into a tight bun that was coming loose, her face hidden as they hugged fiercely. Lacey waited with a bored expression on her face as Felix searched through the bag, pulling out the hard drive and opening every pocket.

“Is that it?” he asked.

“That’s it,” she confirmed.

“Okay,” he said. “Then I guess we head to Vegas.”

“I’m going to Storybrooke,” she said firmly, and he frowned.

“My orders are—”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your orders!” snapped Lacey. “My grandmother is dying, okay? I’m going to see her, and I don’t care what you say about it. You can hold onto what I took from her deposit box - hell, you can take it to Vegas yourself, if you like. But I’m going to Storybrooke, got it? If you won’t take me, I’ll get on a damn bus!”

She stomped around to the trunk of the car to retrieve her case, and he growled something under his breath.

“Fine, get in,” he sighed. “I guess a day or so wouldn’t hurt.”

She sniffed, snatched her bag from him, and got into the back of the Mercedes again. The cab ahead was still parked up. Clearly the two women were taking their time saying goodbye. Good for them. Felix pulled away, heading north, and Lacey shrugged out of her coat and settled back on the seat with a sigh. Around four hours to get to Storybrooke. Perhaps she could even get some sleep.

x

Some way behind her, Weaver was following in the hire car. He nodded grimly as the Mercedes followed the signs to I-95, and glanced at his phone seated in its cradle on the dashboard. A few flicks of his fingers called Merida.

“Looks like we’re heading north,” he said. “Where are you?”

“We’re about four cars back from you,” she said. “Stay out of sight.”

“Understood.” He frowned, keeping an eye on the traffic in front of him. “I think I know where they’re going. The cab fare is gonna be a fucking fortune.”

“Then you’d better be prepared to get your wallet out, hadn’t you?” she said. “First time for everything.”

“Bloody cheek!” he said, as she chortled. “Did Fa manage to put the tracker on her?”

“Coat pocket,” said Merida. “She still has it. Why don’t you pull over and we’ll get in your car? Not like you don’t know where she’s going, right?”

“Alright. Next place I can stop.”

He rang off, glancing in his mirror before pulling over. The cab pulled in behind him, and he waited impatiently, fingers tapping on the wheel as Fa paid the driver and she and Merida hurried to his car. They piled into the back seat, a little breathless.

“Where are we going?” asked Merida, as he pulled away again.

“Maine,” he said. "Should take us four hours or so. Look for Storybrooke on your phone, let me know where we're heading when we get a little nearer."

“No problem.”

Weaver increased his speed, overtaking the vehicle in front as he tried to catch Lacey, no easy feat in the heavy traffic. The Mercedes was easy to spot, but he kept half a dozen cars in between them and shifted in his seat, getting ready for a long drive. It seemed that Lacey was going home.

x

It was after nine in the evening when they reached Storybrooke, a small town nestled on the coast of Maine. Weaver’s eyes were grainy from lack of sleep and intense concentration, and he followed the Mercedes through the town, keeping well back. It turned off up a quiet road lined with trees, and he slowed his pace as Fa and Merida studied the map on Fa's phone.

“Pull over,” said Fa. “That road’s a dead end. There’s only one place they could be going, and it’s gonna be pretty obvious if you follow.”

“What’s at the end of the road?” he asked.

“Avonlea Manor,” she said. “Kill the lights. We’ll wait here, see if they come back out.”

“The tracker?”

“Still ahead of us.”

He turned off the lights, rubbing tired eyes and sighing.

“There was an inn back in the town,” said Merida. “We could get a room for the night. Maybe some food. Definitely a drink or three.”

“Just as soon as we know what the hell’s going on, yes.” He peered through his fingers at the road ahead. “Fuck it, I’m going up there.”

“You are not,” said Fa immediately. “Just wait. I didn't come all this way to haul your impulsive ass out of whatever fire you want to jump into.”

He growled under his breath, but nodded. Time seemed to crawl. The night was black as pitch around them, and he tapped on the steering wheel, itching to drive to wherever Lacey was and kill whoever threatened her.

“Stay where you are,” said Fa, seeming to read his mind, and he rolled his eyes.

“For all I know she’s buggered off somewhere else!” he snapped.

“No, she’s still there,” she said. “She’s - wait, she’s coming this way. Get down!”

Headlights appeared around a bend in the road, and Weaver ducked his head. He heard a car pass, and looked up again, red tail lights visible in the rear view mirror.

“Only one person in the car, but the tracker was in there,” said Fa. “Perhaps she left her coat on the back seat.”

“Perhaps she was in the trunk,” said Merida ominously, making Weaver swallow hard.

“Right, I’m going up to that manor house to take a look around,” he said, starting the engine. “You two follow that car once I’m gone, got it?”

They argued, as he had known they would, but eventually agreed. Weaver followed the road around a sweeping bend, the woods opening out to reveal a large, sprawling mansion of red brick, large gardens beyond spreading out towards thick woods. The house was oddly dark and silent, lights on in only a few rooms, and Weaver stopped the car, getting out and checking his weapons. Fa took his place in the driver’s seat.

“Call us,” she said bluntly. “When we’re done tracking that car, we'll be at that inn we passed. If you need help, just fucking call, okay? And don’t get your ass shot.”

“Yeah, you too.”

They drove off, and Weaver followed the road around to the rear of the house, moving quietly and hugging the red brick wall. There seemed to be no security to speak of, and he wondered at this large house in the middle of nowhere, and the secrets it might contain. Was Lacey inside?

He reached a door, and opened it quietly, slipping inside and closing it behind him. Warmth flooded over him, and he glanced around, taking in the empty room with its heavy range and gleaming steel pans. He appeared to have found the kitchens. A teapot sat on a heavy pine table, white glazed pottery with a chip in the rim of the lid. The teapot was steaming, a cup and saucer next to it, and Weaver figured that whoever the tea was for had to be around somewhere. He slipped across the room, heading for the door that led into the main house. A dark corridor opened up before him, a set of stairs at the end, and he flexed his fingers, focusing his energy on the door at the top. Perhaps Lacey was beyond. Perhaps he would finally get some answers.

“Hands in the air!” A stern voice made him freeze. “Hands in the air or I’ll shoot!”

[telling-our-stories]

Coming out stories

A heads-up. These are the original stories, however, they are anonymous. This wasn't intentional, I just screwed up and didn't tag. These stories, aren't mine, so if I've posted yours and you want it taken down. Please, just ask me.

Alright.

I am tired of people who are against the LGBTQ+ community. Its alright to have an opinion. It is not alright to put people down for being themselves. The first pride was a riot, a fight for what they believe in. I'm trying to do the same. I'm trying to gather the stories of the fallen, the ones who are still standing, the people who are willing to fight for everything they are. And I am fully willing to take a stand and fight to prove we exist. To prove that we're here, and we aren't backing down.

Hello, my name is Dustyn. I'm here today to collect stories from the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of people who are against us, which is exactly why we need to stand our ground. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm asking for your stories. My story is not yet finished, though I'm a bisexual trans male. Our stories are important, because they show who we are and how far we've come. I've struggled a lot in my life, but I've made it. So have others. Here are some of those stories. We'll start with mine. I've gone through many identities, mostly trying to figure myself out. I'm still doing that. My family doesn't accept me for me, but I have many friends who do. There are so many accepting people in life, and I appreciate all of you who are proud to be who you are. Whether closeted or not, you are all valid and amazing.

"Hello my name is Melissa and i am bisexual. My family didn't really have a harsh reaction to it other than the fact that they didn't understand it at first. That was most of my trouble was people saying that bisexual wasnt valid. Im sorry mine is so short but i think the moral is that you are valid. No matter what you identify as on any spectrum in the LGBTQ+ community. Also even if your outside of the LGBTQ+ community and your just an ally. We love you and you are all valid.”

"Salutations everyone. My name is Talan. I am non binary, panromantic and i am currently between asexual and demisexual. I was raised in a very christian household where my mother and father had very strict beliefs. They believed that being anything but straight and to me being anything other than my assigned gender was a sin, and many people still say that to me. When I came out to my dad he flipped, he took me out of school for a year and put me in online school. During this time in my life I had reached a dark time where i thought that it was never going to get better but trust me it does. I am still living with my dad who does not accept me and at this point we don't talk that much, but it does get better. We have gotten to the point where we can have a civil conversation with each other and im back in school. I have an amazing girlfriend and multiple qpps who i love very much. Everybody at school is very loving and supporting. Remember that family is not chosen for you, you make your own family. If you ever feel down than just know that there are so many amazing and kind people in the world who love you for who you are, no matter what that may be. You are loved."

“I'm glad you reached out to me, anything to help people understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I am 19 now and I came out to my family at the age of 14. My parents were the typical ones who said it was just a phase and it would not last but here I am five years later and I made it through. There was a point where I had no one to turn to but then i met my amazing boyfriend. He helped me through the good and the bad and showed me that there were things to stay for. I am now in college and pursuing a career in photography at the University of Arizona. I hope that could help a bit!”

"Okay. Well. My coming out experience was definitely not expected in the slightest. I was in the 5th grade. Realizing that I liked both boys and girls was quite the revelation. I had a lesbian friend who was the first ever gay person I met or knew. I remember being backstage of a show I was in and just crying through the words, "I know I'm supposed to love guys, but I love girls too". After that. I didn't tell anyone else, until 6th grade. I was a track meet and a group of people I sat with was talking to my lesbian friend about kissing. I forget the exact conversation, but I spoke up and said I would kiss her. A Christian girl in my class was nearby and heard. She was disgusted. Therfore by the end of the week, I was completely outed to my entire school. It was ugly, but it got better over time I guess. I'm a junior in high school now. I have yet to come out to my parents, but at least I know that I am finally comfortable in my my sexual orientation and gender identify (demigirl, which I didn't figure out until a few short months ago)."

"Hey, I haven't actually come out to everyone yet but I have told a few people and all of their reactions were positive "oh you're bi? cool" and that was it. No "so do you like me?" or anything which was super great. So I was "straight" and when I heard about the LGBT community I was "straight" for about another five days. I did some thinking and realised I'd actually liked girls before, and shortly after came out as bi to a few of my close friends at the time. They were all supportive, bar one who said "you're just looking for attention lmao".Coincidentally, she had also come out as pan and had received the usual "you're attracted to pans?". I go to a Christian school, so it would be pretty disastrous if the news leaked out, but naturally it did. Not everyone knows, maybe about 10% of my grade. I suspect some teachers found out about how some people were LGBT (not many though, there's about 5 of us), because our dean of year gave the "you're too young to know that" talk. Mostly at school we get sheltered from all LGBT news and details at all, and my parents hadn't told me much about it either, even though they are supportive and would be okay if I came out as bi."

"I'm bisexual. I first came out to my elementary friends over the phone 3 years after we went to different middle schools. They were mostly all so accepting and I was so overwhelmed I hung up on them. I spent a few minutes laying on the ground clutching that phone to my chest, I'd never felt so loved. I cried and cried and cried because these people atleast the ones who accepted me see me different now but are okay with it. Two years later, now, I still haven't come out to my parents. I still need a few years but I'm a little bit more open at school now most of my friends accept me. Others were cut off, I can't do that with my family so they still don't know. Not as if they would take me seriously either way. I want to get past college get a place a stable life then maybe I'll be ready, just maybe. Thank you for listening to my story."

"I was surrounded by my Uncle and his husband for years. I always knew that gay people existed. When I was younger I never thought anything different of myself; I thought I was one of the boys.

 It never really clicked that I was the only one who saw it that way.

When I was 7, my mother and sister suggested I take dance I shot them down saying "that's for girls."

They didn't get it.

I wasn't entirely sure what came over me in that moment either but I know it felt right.

As myself and the people I knew grew up I realised I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I tossed it up as your typical dislike.

~every girl went through that at my age didn't they~

All the girls I knew were so happy that they were becoming women and I just sat in the back wondering why I didn't feel the same way.

I still didn't get it.

Once my depressed state got worse I decided to read into ways to love yourself and your body.

I started taking selfies, dressing up, wearing heels and makeup, forcing myself to sing even though I hated the way I looked and sounded.

It got worse.

I broke down when nobody was looking and acted like it was fine; like I wasn't praying that whatever I was feeling would go away for even a second.

And one day I looked in the mirror and I thought "this isnt right. This isn't me. This isn't what I want. Who in the hell is that person staring back at me?"

And I accepted it. That I would never be who I should be. That I would never be happy. Because nobody would love me. Nobody would want me. And nobody would accept me. Because if I was happy then that meant my family wouldn't have had the little girl theh thought they had gotten.

And up until recently no one knew that I broke down every night, that my thoughts got so bad I wanted to drown in my own tears so that maybe it would all be over. Because to me coming out to them was worse than death.

And here I am years later. My family knows but they don't care. They don't try to comprehend that this repression it kills me all the time. So I gathered my money got myself exactly what they told me they would never let me have and I lie. I go behind their backs and I live like the man I really am online. I bind my chest and I hide from their sight and when they ask I say it's just their eyes.

Because if they knew - if my mother knew - they would rather me suffer day after day than be who I am."

"heyo, i read your post and id like to put something to it.

i am a part of the community, havent came out to my parents yet, because i know for a fact id be sent to a psichologist or thrown out. but i am me online

an old friend of mine is a trans guy and found me a few weeks ago. he said he saw that i support LGBT+ and it was so comforting for him. a friend who i haven't talked with for 9 years!after he told me that he lost half of his family for being himself, his dad ignores him since, but he has a boyfriend and got his life together

and that i could be a little comfort for him is really nice. even the people who are closeted can be helpful in the community."

"Well, my mom took it well. I had gotten stuck in my closet and then she got me unstuck and I told her I was queer.

My brother, we were sitting in the car and he told me he always knew, but I had to keep it a secret from my dad or else bad things would happen.

My friends hugged me and started to use my name and pronounsSo coming out to my dad and stepmom, it wasn't even a coming out but a forced outage.

They took my phone away the night of a Panic attack that I still have nightmares over and searched it. They read all my messages.... everything.

I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it wouldn't. They told me that they loved me, but I had to stop being me and I have to go back to being a girl who was cishet

But once you have a taste of freedom of who you really are, you can never go back ...I couldn't hide again. I just had to wait till I could spread my wings and be free somewhere else."

"Ok so for the thing you tagged me in, I don’t exactly have a coming out story yet, and I’m not sure of my identity entirely. I’ve tried out tons of labels and am sticking with queer at the moment just cuz it takes the stress off of picking an extremely definite word to describe me. I came out as queer last year, but I don’t consider it a coming out story because 1) I only told my friends and not my family, and 2) queer doesn’t completely define me. In real life, I’m doing my best to go back in the closet, but I think my “friends” may have told other people who spread rumors around my school, so it’s been difficult. A bunch of people make random references to me liking boys (I’m amab) and it made me uncomfortable enough that I started telling them I’m straight. I’m planning on staying as far in the closet as possible until people get more accepting and I understand myself fully."

"It's not a coming out story (mostly) but it's a realization of sorts.

Yesterday our Social Studies teached asked us to form groups and discuss a contemporary issue that we would present at the front in a few minutes. Long story short I suggested LGBT+ community and rights, which my group mates accepted. I live in a really conservative country (with at least 81% of the entire population identifying as Christians) and that's an extremely taboo topic. It ended up leading the teacher asking us to raise our hands if we believed the lgbt community should be allowed Civil Union, not considering religion an all. I was so afraid to raise my hand, but it was what I believed in and I couldn't live with it if I didn't show it, so I raised my hand. I didn't really do this as a member of the community, I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of a world where this is accepted in my country, where I can go outside and be open and love whoever I wanted to, and I guess the idea of standing up for what I believed in was what pushed me to do that. A big majority of the class was against, and I was just so afraid even though some small logical part of me knew they would not do anything.Today, our Civics teacher had us grouped again to make a live news report and once again, my group (international news) got assigned lgbt+ community because of our listed problems yesterday. I suggested interviewing a member of the community and basically came out to two people I knew were trustworthy (nearly all three other members in that group but thank God I think the third one did not hear) and we agreed that I could be used if I only had my voice recorded and edited to not sound like me. Just a few hours ago I found out that one of my classmates, who I thought was a nice sweet boy, turned out to be a big homophobe. "Sodom and Gomora and Liberals are teaching unnatural things" kind of guy.I guess that broke something in me, because another thing I was really passionate about for when I grew up was this certain job, though no one supported me. I used to want to do that so much the idea of anything else repelled me, sometimes the idea of the other more "acceptable" jobs brought me to tears. Somehow this one admission that I thought everyone should have the right to at least a civil union and finding out my classmates didn't believe in that crushed something in me hard enough that I lost the passion to do that job I wanted. It makes no sense how this connected with that apart from the fact that neither are things I have been or would be supported on, but I guess seeing that this world isn't really safe made me lose hope.I felt scared to raise my hand, almost like I was actually coming out (which I now realize I'm absolutely never doing to many of those people) and the realization that some place I thought was a safe space for me, because all of those people in that class, I thought I could trust them. I've been with them since before I could spell "friend" correctly, they're family to me, I believed I would be safe and accepted, and then came to find out that wasn't quite the case...But well, basically I was terrified then crushed to find out that I could have outted myself to a group of people who would not take my news lightly

Found out some people I thought were friends thought people like me were broken

Found out some people I used to have the biggest crushes on didn't even believe in letting people have a civil union."

"I’m very excited to see brave people like you ready to start a revolution, so I thought I’d share my, sorta, coming out experience.

So I have divorced parents meaning I’d have to come out to four parents. This happened mainly last year. I was pretty sure I was bi, (tho I now identify panromantic demigirl) I knew my dad and stepmom would be great with it, and they were. But when it came to my mother, well, she wasn’t really homophobic, but she had different ideas about how a gay person should behave. She outed me to her after overhearing a convo with my friends. She then told me I was too young, and gave the “its a phase” talk. She knew I was fairly open about it because I lived by a motto to “be so myself that other people feel brave enough to be themselves too” But she believed a gay person should keep it a secret. Nowadays I don’t believe in the process of “coming out” I am open about my sexuality and gender but I don’t do formal coming outs. I always believed that if straights don’t have to, neither should I just because I “don’t fit a default” My mother wants me to come out to my stepfather even tho he already knows. I thought sharing a coming out story that also showed you should never feel obligated to come out. My mother guilt trips me about it, but I remain rooted in my beliefs that I shouldn’t have to come out, which I think is valid.

Hope my story can help anyone and just wanna say you are so so valid, amazing and powerful and should never feel pressured to be open if you don’t want to. Long live the revolution!!!🏳️‍🌈."

"Hello! I read your post about collecting LGTBQA+ stories and I thought Id share my brief experiences as a bi girl from Germany ^^

Tbh I never made a big deal about coming out, as I personally feel it goes to show that we're revealing a wierd secret, and Id like my sexualtiy to be something normal, not a main identifying characteristic. And everyone of my friends or classmates that I mention it to appear to have no problem with that whatsoever, and as far as I know Im not percieved as predatory either.

My family, however, is a whole different matter. While Im sure that my mums side of the family would be perfectly fine and my parents know already, when youve heard your fathers parents talk about eastern europeans and other immigrants using only slurwords and your uncles parents have expressed their absolute disgust about seeing a gay couple enjoy a nice picnic at the park, you get very cautious about who you tell. Especially since I dont want to put the supportive family in the position of having to consider whom they can talk to about this.

Another thing that Ive noticed after my exchange year in Sweden and seeing my first pride, though not having the time to attend, on my way there in Copenhagen, is how little support my country gives to this community from a social perspective. At my swedish school, all the teachers had a rainbow keyband from a *seminar about LGBTQA+ people*, something Im sure Germany would never do, and all of them kept it. There was no question whether you support us or not, it was an acceped part of social life and no big deal; we even did a private introduction round for pronouns!

And then I came back here. During pride month, there were no rainbow decorations, the most I saw of a parade was two discarded paper flags on the ground afterwards. When I vented about this to my ally friend, she only said that "some people and companies just like to stay neutral". Try all of them in Germany, but sure.

I know our community has come far, but I can also see that it isnt fsr enough, and that is the fight I am still fighting.

Hope this helps ^^."

"Alright. Mine isnt that interesting but I'll do my best :)

I came out as bisexual when i was in the sixth grade. It wasnt a huge deal to my mom. She said okay and we went on with our lives. Around the end of that year, i told her i thought i was trans and she said i wasnt. I came out to her again six months later and she said the same thing. There was a lot of yelling. Mind you, she isnt transphobic at all. The third time... she was so done with me. She yelled and so did i. It took four different times for her to accept me, and even then, i had to do the last time over text because i was scared of her reaction."

"So, my name is Ell. I identify as queer and demigender. I don't know what to say here really early than it's important to find others like you when you're not as close to your family as you used to be. Because of your identity. My family is more accepting than most, but still. The community online is so so important to me, and this project makes me really happy. So thank you. "

"I was at sea world and my mom was in the car I was talking about how my dad was super homophobic. My mom says that my dad acts like it’s a disease I said will if it is then I have got it, My mom is understanding and says that she will love me no matter what."

"So, I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s a big no-no in a latino family like mine, it’s always grow up, get married with the opposite sex, and have kids. I don’t know why I felt that I could just say anything to my mom one day and she immediately objected. “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian or just confused? You can’t like more than one gender. Also, what’s this about a non gender? You’re either a boy or a girl, that’s it.”

Thankfully after a lecture and me apologizing (though I did nothing but tell her more about me) she let the subject go. I’ve never told my dad because I know mom just will get in the way and say I’m lying again, but at least my friends are understanding and almost completely LGBTQ+."

[ask-henry-yugi-tudor]

Just story ideas I have and wrote about a little I guess

.....

Just vote which ones you like xD

#1: Unnamed - unfinished not even 200 words of some sort au where yami is an animal

#2: King Yamir, King of illusions - unfinished Is a story where Yugi got kidnapped from his home and is now traveling back after 50 years with a dragon, a knight and two centaurs and their friend. However once he arrives, he realizes things have changed and he isnt sure if the life with the humans might have been better off, even if they got rid of his wings.

#3 Mermaids  - unfinished An au where Yugi gets himself into trouble by swimming too close to the surface and he ends up getting hit by the blade of a boat propeller. Kaiba ends up taking care of him but pegasus wants to put him on display. Atem meanwhile is furiously searching in every corner of the sea to find Yugi back and will stop at nothing to find him.

#4 Untamed  - unfinished Prince Yugi is in search of a mythical beast in the woods that bears the fruit of life on its antlers which can save his grandfather, and the current king’s life. if he fails however, his evil uncle Aknaheden will assend the throne and plunge the kingdom into destruction. Meanwhile he kidnaps a child, befriends the most sarcastic cook ever and insults a young prodigee mage along the way.

... tbh i think shiirojasmine would love what i have in store for that one but im too afraid to tag anyone in this long post.

#5 Aelves  - unfinished This story was created before King Yamir. It centered around Atem and his family which were orphans that lived on the streets before getting taken in by townspeople. Atem was the apprentice of a blacksmith bullied by a fierce adventerous knight who told him he would never make good swords, Timaël (Timaeus’ counterpart) was a sheperdboy who was afraid of sheep and Heba worked in a bakery. They find out their parents have been killed by Aelves and plan on finding these Aelves only to befriend Yami, Yugi and Timaeus because they saved one that almost drowned in the river while the other two were unnable to swim. 

This was the original idea, but there were too many characters and though i havent really written a good amount on it, this hasbeen revised into number 6

#6 Aelves  - unfinished Atem finds himself in a bind when he befriends a young Aelf when another thinks he is going to be Yugi’s candidate for the wild hunt. The wild hunt involves humans having to run as the Aelves chase them riding deer. And the human has the marry the Aelf that captures them. Also Yugi hits Atem with a frying pan because why not.

#7 The Time we Share -  finished Probably the only fanfic i have ever finished. Resolves about Yami, a social awkward young man that is in love with his introverted neighbor and has no idea how to handle it. A short oneshot. Nobody understands it. I dont even know myself.

#8 Words better left unsaid  - unfinished Another Neighbor Au Where Yami is a serial killer that partakes in weird human sacrifice rituals. Yugi is so dense however he doesnt notice it. Meanwile Yami keeps stalking him around, always knowing an excuse to be in the same place as Yugi. Eventually Yugi just takes him along because reasons he doesnt find suspicious at all. But having an infatuated serial killing stalker is a good thing when the world finds out you are in possession of an ancient artifact made of solid gold and everyone wants to kill you.

#9 Mirror Immage - unfinished (this is an old one) What if there was a life on the other side of the mirror that was the entire opposite of your own yet still looked exactly the same? And what if you fell through? What if your Mirror Immage was right beside you, instead of being a mere reflection? #10 We create this world - unfinished Based on an old fanfiction of mine called Need A Second to Breathe- basically it is a rewrite of this- In where Yami, Atem and the other egyptiantied cast are the incarnated gods of Egypt. Yami is not allowed to enter the Human world but does so anyway, finding Yugi. He uses his godlike powers to make Yugi happy and angers Atem further. However Atem once made the same mistake of falling in love with a human called Heba, and Yugi looking like Heba is not helping in the slightest. Yugi keeps having viseons of Heba, whos ghost has returned from the underworld, however at the terrible price of being possessed by an evil spirit. And yugi has to choose between giving up his body to save Heba, or not doing so, in turn losing Yami.

#11 A Shadow’s cast - unfinished I think I was either very tired or sick writing this one because it doesnt make any sense. Basically Yugi wakes to find a visitor in his home that is trying to hide from an organisation that is trying to hurt hus guest. Needs a desperate rewrite. 

#12 The Cecaelia - unfinished but up for reading Here What do you do when you find a little creature out on the beach being attacked by seagulls? Chuck it back into the ocean, or take care of it? #13 Mob Boss Yugi - unfinished This kind of was based on Shiirojasmine’s 3 gods au and it sort of formed into my own concoction I suppose. An au where Yugi often blacks out and becomes Yami, one of the greatest mob bosses the world has ever seen. Mai and Joey being undercover agents. Yugi gets scared and writes letters to his other self, finding out that he is a mere puppet that is to serve Atem. Atem is being captured by an evil organisation and has year to pay all his depts using Yugi, or he will be killed. A heist takes place at school and Yugi can no longer determine wether he is a high school student or a wanted drugdealer.

 #14 Beast Assylum  - unfinished  A creepy Au where Yugi and Atem have been subjected to Lycanthropy and are being locked away so they cant hurt any innocent people ever again. Instead they are being used to get rid of people society doesnt want and or need.  Atem is a crybaby. Yugi has been planning his escape for a long time now, why has he started to care for the other, this was not supposed to happen! #15 Baby And a Pharo  - unfinished A spoof fanfiction where Yugi solves a puzzle as a baby and somehow it is a portal to the past. The Egyptians think he is son or Ra and Atem takes Yugi under his wing. However Time in Yugis verse moves faster and He has to make the disission wether he wants to stay with Atem forever or not. #16 Two Necromancers - unfinished Two necromancers. A prince and a thief. They both get resurrected to life to stop big threat to the world.What the two necromancers didn't account for was that they were sworn enemies. #17 Darkness beast  - unfinished This one is too long to explain so enjoy the short version Kaiba and Dartz open up a portal to a knight-and-dragon Era and get the kings of the land they opened the portal on at their sides, Dartz tries to provoke a war, Yugi tries to stop him, Atem goes missing and then Yugi has to take care of a shadow like creature, until Dartz decides to put it onto the chessboard and use it as a threath to Kaiba and his alliences. 

#18 Demons - unfinished Demons. When the world discovered that demons could be summoned to do one’s bidding, they didn’t quite understand what that meant. People were naïve and greedy. And it wouldn’t be long before one would summon something that nobody could control. Basically Ludus’s origin story. Needs a good solid rewrite.

#19 Mewtwo Yami  - unfinished A stupid crossover where Yami ends up  being raised by Mewtwo, thinks he is a pokemon, meets Yugi and wants to compete in pokemon battles (bullies Yugi into being his trainer so he can compete) to prove he is the strongest “pokemon” to make Mewtwo proud of him.

#20 The Assylum  - unfinished Another one of these fics. basically what you would expect. Yami has the ability to see monsters that disguise themselves as humans and exterminates them, Yugi thinks he is just a mentally sick, cold blooded killer. Truth is Yami is also a monster.

#21 Chasing You  - unfinished Ai Atem gets the task to find Yugi, so Atem can hold him in his arms, but Ai Atem has his own sights set on Kaiba. Feeling conflicted because he is more than a mere replica. He is better than that real Atem! Yet he wants to know what Atem and Yugi’s relationship was like. Was it love? Is that what he is feeling?

#22 The God Bird Au - unfinished One Day Harpies descended from the skies to terrorize the little village that Yugi lives in. When one sets his sights on Yugi, the youngster ignores him. He has bigger problems than listening to the flirting of an overgrown bird. And who is this snowy owl-creature that sounds so familiar? 

#23 He’s not a retard  - unfinished What is it with me and Yami being a killer? oh dear... Yami is an intelectually impaired, wheelchair-ridden person however he is what goes bump in the night. Yugi is his caretaker and never bargained for any of his shit. Not the part where he saves a plane from getting hijacked, and not the part where they get stuck in a tomb in egypt!

#24 Yami’s Angel  - unfinished I think this was like my first Yugioh Au  Yami finds a small, unconcious Angel and befriends the little guy and takes care of him. Yugi loves strawberries and chaos ensues because Yugi ALWAYS gets lost in public places. Later in the story he finds out Ryou has the same problem. Except he has a little devil. #25 The Wheelchair Au - unfinished  A combination of the two ideas above. Atem, after a suicidal attempt which caused him to lose both his legs and a finger, refuses to undergo any opperation which could make him use prostetic legs in order to walk again. With nobody to care for him, he stays at the hospital. However one night he hearsa small voice, which is Yugi, his guardian angel, and if they fuse, Atem regains his legs. However if they remain fused for longer than 3 hours, Yugi will disappear.

#26 Dancing in Eternal winter Yugi gets stuck on a mountain with a jock who doesnt understand any language Yugi knows. Spirit Animals are there to help. Yugi then realises that Yami is unable to reintigrate into society, because he has been living on his own all this time, surviving, and his spirit Animal would be much too dangerous. No matter how nice Gulo is.

#27 The Levitated Mansion  - unfinished Atem Lives in a wealthy family and loves to look at the stars with his telescope. However one day he sees a levitated mansion, the owner of said mansion has an eye on him. #28 Shapeshifters  - unfinished Yugi is working at an orphanage when he meets an old Ijiraat, a shapeshifter that you forget after seeing him. However the more time Yugi spends with him, the more he keeps remembering. #29 Sphinxson Yugi  - unfinished Atem lives in a village that has deemed him crazy because he swears he sees monsters. Kaiba is a monster hunter and decides to exploit the scared youth. Yugi is a Sphinx that cant wait for his human grandfather to return, but how long has it been? Just a few days, right?

#30 Pokemon  - unfinished Another Pokemon Au. Yugi is an Eevee that has been taken in by the Kaiba brothers, but after a mishap in the trophee room and Evolving into a Vaporeon, What will happen to the young pokemon? #31 We Are Not Alone - unfinished An Alien Refugee gets mistaken by the Egyptian people as a god, and teach him their ways, however another of his kind is on their way to kill him. Can Atem and Yugi fight this evil Alien or not? And Where is Atem’s family?  #32 Safe and Sound - unfinished A comfort/hurt oneshot fic where Yugi scolds Yami for hurting people, even if it is for protecting him. Basically the idea was that this event is what made Yami stop his evil penalty games.

#33 On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red rose between his teeth  - unfinished Yugi is a werewolf that mistakingly kills a sheep of Yami and Ryou’s farm. However Yami and Ryou do not seem to realise who their guest is until Yami finds Yugi’s bloodied clothes on the floor one day as he returns home. thinking th beast that fled out of the window devoured him whole. Yugi tries to keep running, not wanting Yami to know he is a beast, but Yami keeps hunting, dead on bringing the beast down. #34 Bone Datem  - unfinished A schooltrip to Egypt turns into chaos when Yugi gets trapped into a tomb and tries to make his way out. However when he finds a living Mummy that follows him around and wants him to steal the millennium puzzle from the Museum, he finds himself in an even bigger hastle than he bargained for.

#35 Unnamed genderbend Yugi Blindshipping Au  - unfinished Yami and Atem are two gang members that hate each other. However yami is a playboy and gets cursed by a witch. Everytime the sun is down he transforms into a girl. But this girl doesnt remember anything and thinks her name is Yugi. One time, yami does not get home in time and this leads to yugi meeting atem who instantly falls in love with her. Theres little things though like yami being able to see everything yugi does and sometimes controlling her body or mind. At one point when atem tries to kiss him, she punches him bc yami in no way is gonna kiss that bastard xD atem mistakes it as hes gone too far and yugi is just superconfused why she did that xD I already know what i want the end to be but its kind of a sad part on yami's part? Also there is a part where atem finds out yugi is actually yami or something

#36 The Superhero Au  - unfinished Yugi is in a happy relationship with his boyfriend atem but what he doesnt know is that Atem is also the Supervillain Yami. And Atem himself has no control over it whatsoever. The rules of the world is that one who can summon strong monsters are either superheroes or villains. However Yami can only summon a small little Kuroboh, and giving Yugi more trouble than ever. Atem on the other hand claims he has never been able to summon a monster before.

#37 Demon boyfriend Atem  This was supposedly a parody idea where Atem lost his temper way too quick and started yelling in a demonic voice (ind of like Aggretsuko lol) And Yugi wasnt really phased by it at all because at the end of the day he knows atem loves him xD Even if it scares his friends a little.

#38 I wanna steal your heart (and eat your brains)  - unfinished Title was based on a song. Yugi is a zombie and has been dating Atem and chaos ensuess. Kaiba also is a zombie and has been experimenting on himself and discovered some odd perks of being a zombie. (honestlyno plot just shenanigans and lovers quarrels)

[voightsgirl]

tag game!

tagged by @chloeswans thank you my love 💛💛

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people (sorry i don’t have that many friends rip)

I tag: @writteninthestarsandthesky @chillmydude @riverdaleangels @sophiaxjesse @halsteadpd @e11evenseggos @caffeinatedkafreen @erinllindsays and yo anyone else if you see this and wanna join in i tag you

last

1. drink - water

2. phone call - my friend we were working on an english presentation

3. text message - i texted my friend to arrange to meet her for lunch earlier today

4. song you listened to - currently listening to waterloo by abba because i am cOoL

5. time you cried - had a total meltdown on thursday rip it’s been a really tough week

6. dated someone twice - lOl i’ve barely dated someone once

7. kissed someone & regretted it - nope

8. been cheated on - i mean,,,,,,,..,,,,,,,,,.........not exactly

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk & thrown up - nope

fave colours

12. red

13. yellow

14. black

the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes and i am so grateful for them 💛

16. fallen out of love - with a friend aye

17. laughed until you cried - oh my days too many times (usually in english class, which freaks out my teacher)

18. found out someone was talking about you - lol remember that time i overheard people proper biTCHING about me and i was like...........?? (it was lowkey funny tho because i am a NICE person and people know that and they came and apologised lul)

19. met someone who changed you - yes, actually in the last year i’ve met a few people who have had such a massive impact on me it’s unreal

20. found out who your friends are - omg too much

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - hA no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in irl - all of them

23. do you have any pets - two cats sparky and olive and a doggo called lizzie

24. do you want to change your name - no although i am slowly implementing the nickname meg as opposed to megan bc it’s shorter and i like it

25. what did you do for your last birthday - uh idk i don’t remember,,,,,,,,,? it was easter sunday i’m p sure (or maybe that was the year before) idk i probably went to a movie or soemthing? maybe? i literally have no recollection of my last birthday is that bad

26. what time did you wake up today - 9:30

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - lying in bed trying to sleep (rip i actually need to sort my shit out i’ve been running on about 3-4 hours of sleep every day and i can’t deal)

28. what is something you can’t wait for - i’m going to austria tomorrow to ski and i am SO EXCITED even though i have to leave home at 5am

29. what are you listening to right now - there she goes by the las because bOP

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom - my history teacher is called tom does that count??? oh wait no yes i know loads of toms

31. something that’s getting on your nerves - the fact that i have to write an entire fuckin 5000 word dissertation by next week but i am so crazy busy and i am never ever gonna get it done

32. most visited website - no joke either thesaurus.com or wordreference (a level english and french be like)

33. hair colour - brown

34. long or short hair - shoulder length

35. do you have a crush on someone - literally so many people tho

36. what do you like about yourself - i was gonna say that i always put 100% into everything but then i realised that i literally hate that about myself because it means i am exhausted all of the damn time so i’m gonna say i’m good at giving people emotional support. like i’m not great at giving people solutions to problems but if they want a shoulder i’m good at just being there

37. want any pericings? - i really want a nose stud but i have a tiny ass nose and idk if i could pull it off rip

38. blood type - no clue 

39. nicknames - meg

40. relationship status - single pringle

41. zodiac - aries

42. pronouns - she/her

43. fave tv shows - chicago fire/pd/med, castle, one tree hill, gilmore girls, brooklyn 99, line of duty, absentia, how to get away with murder, probably more that i can’t think of rn

44. tattoos - i want a cross on my inner wrist and also a bible verse (either philippians 4:13 or romans 8:1 i’m not sure yet). also maybe some flowers i love flowers

45. right or left handed - right

46. ever had surgery - nope

47. piercings - just ear lobes

48. sport - i go to the gym a lot i like doing push ups and trx and spin and that kind of thing but i suck at team games

49. vacation - where i’ve been? gah idk lets see.....france, spain, italy, switzerland, germany, portugal, netherlands, all the countries in the uk, sweden, denmark, hong kong, usa, australia, turks & caicos islands.....going to austria tomorrow and hungary in the summer (and hk again to visit family!!) and i would love love love to go to india and lebanon and canada and iceland and norway

50. trainers - what ones i have?? currently mine are chewed up messes by my pup soooo none??

more general

51. eating - i just had a weird leftover meal of rice and couscous and curry sauce and beef stew rip to clear the cupboards before tomorrow

52. drinking - fizzy water

53. I’m about to watch - nothin i need to get to bed its 10pm but i need sleep

54. waiting for - myself to get my shit together and sort out my head

55. want - to get my shit together

56. get married - yeah one day 

57. career - i want to be an english teacher yeet

which is better

58. hugs or kisses - hugs

59. lips or eyes - eyes

60. shorter or taller - i mean if anyone is shorter than me they’re quite substantially below average so imma go taller

61. older or younger - don’t care aha

62. nice arms or stomach - arms

63. hookup or relationship - uh at the moment? i don’t even think about that kind of thing because dude i don’t even have time to breathe or think about myself soooo imma pass on this question cause i honestly don’t know

64. troublemaker or hesitant - both

have you ever

65. kissed a stranger - no

66. drank hard liquor - of course

67. lost glasses - sunglasses yes but i guard my prescriptions with my life

68. turned someone down - yes

69. sex on the first date - nope

70. broken someones’s heart - i’m not sure??? i mean i broke up with someone but like,,,,,,,they deserved it?

71. had your heart broken - i don’t know i mean i’m a fuckin mess but not because of boys

72. been arrested - no thank the lord

73. cried when someone died - see imma sound like a dick when i say no but honestly i’ve lost quite a few people who were close to me and i couldn’t cry for a good few months, even years, later (i am an expert at denial and repression apparently) so yes but not in the way you’d think

74. fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in

75. yourself - hA

76. miracles - yeah

77. love at first sight - no

78. santa claus - haha no

79. kiss on a first date - yes

80. angles - oh yes i believe in those good old obtuse and acute angles (i assume this meant angels which, yes, i believe in)

other

81. best friend’s name - jenna

82. eye colour - blue

83. fave movie - ooOooOooOh idk probably dead poets society because that’s a masterpiece but i honestly am not a very movies person

84. fave actor - sophia bush 💛

[bonniebird]

I Hate You {Part Three}

Theo x Reader

Part One   Part Two

Avoiding Theo was impossible, despite your best efforts he seemed to be everywhere, either that or you noticed him more because you were avoiding him. It was early in the morning when you found yourself waiting in a stupidly long line for coffee with Theo in front of you.

He’d noticed you and stiffened, refusing to turn and look at you or even acknowledge you until he went to order his drink, he gave the barista a sleepy smile and she comped his drink which caused him to turn and look at you in utter confusion.

“Here you go.” She hummed her huge smile falling from her face when he thanked her and grabbed the paper cup, smudging her number from it as he sipped, slowly shuffling in the direction of class.

“Why do they give us free drinks?” Theo asked you as if he hoped talking to you would make everything far less awkward.

 “She was hitting on you Theo, they don’t give us free drinks.” You sighed and he cocked his head.

 “I know when I’m being hit on.” He insisted, smiling politely when a girl walked past you both and smiled, crossing her arms under her chest as she batted her eyes but Theo seemed utterly oblivious. “I’m sorry is it awkward that we’re talking… I can… like slow down or something.” He offered and you shook your head as you walked to class.

 “It is sort of awkward.” You admitted and his eyes widened before he abruptly stopped and let you go ahead.

  “Miss (Y/N) it’s nice of you to come in.” Your tutor sighed, clearly having a bad day.

 “Sorry I’ll just…” You trailed off and hurried to the back of the room, sighing when you realised you’d left your note book in your room.

 “Um, (Y/N)?” Theo said quietly and your eyes shot up to him frowning which made him hesitate as he held out his notebook. “I wrote everything down for you.”

 “Oh… thanks.” You hadn’t meant to sound so surprised but if you were honest you were surprised.

 After class, you packed up and went to leave but stopped and turned back to tell Theo you’d taken his notebook and would give it back once you’d copied down the notes.

 “Seriously, we have something.” A girl cooed, her hand resting on Theo’s thigh.

 “I have no idea what you mean.” He muttered sounding uncomfortable as she slid her hand higher.

“Oh, come one, we’re both attractive I’m your type and you’re my type.” She said not giving up even when he tried to move away from her. You thought about walking off, Theo knew how to look after himself but the second you caught a glimpse of the startled look in his eyes it dawned on you.

 Theo Raeken had absolutely no idea how to deal with women. The humongous supernatural beast was utterly stumped by a girl who was hitting on him. If he hadn’t looked so worried it would have been almost funny but your feet rushed you to his rescue and before you’d even realised it you’d planted a kiss on his cheek and led him away.

 “You kissed me!” He gasped as you dragged him towards your dorms.

 “I didn’t mean to, you just looked so… so… you looked like Scott when something goes wrong!” You defended and he chuckled nervously.

“I don’t even know who she is.” Theo admitted and you gawked at him.

 “She’s sat next to you for three weeks in a row.” You informed him and headed into your dorm room.

“(Y/N)?” Theo asked nervously from behind you and you looked up from your book to see him shuffling next to you. “Can I ask… I know I shouldn’t… supposed to be proving I’m better than the old me but…”

 “What is it I still have a paper to write?” You asked when you glanced at the clock and realised you had a class in half an hour.

 “Could you sit next to me in class?” His voice cracked a little when he asked and he looked at you sheepishly.

 “Yeah sure.” You smiled when he glanced at the girl that had hit on him and offered him a seat next to you.

 “Why do girls keep hitting on me?” He asked and you giggled.

 “Because you’re sort of attractive.” You admitted and blushed when he grinned.

 “You think I’m attractive?” He asked sounding hopeful.

 “You asked why they hit on you.” You gasped as if he was being ridiculous.

 “It isn’t that bad anymore.” Theo muttered after a long silence. “The scar it was worse in high school.”

 “Lots of things were worse in high school.” You admitted and Theo shot you a curious look.

 “You think… maybe, we could be friends?” Theo asked after another long pause.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” You mumbled and started packing up your books, glancing around at the other people who had gathered, some chatting while others studied furiously with a steaming coffee next to them.

 “Because you’re still afraid of me?” He asked but you shook your head.

 “Do you still feel the same way about me?” You asked and he nodded.

 “I’ve liked you since I set eyes on you, even when we moved away I didn’t stop thinking about you, every year I’d write you out this huge birthday message on Facebook about how I feel but then I’d delete it.” He admitted and suddenly look rather shy as if he hadn’t meant the words to tumble out.

  You’d forgotten that it was a full moon, your mind was swirling with knowledge you’d never use and Theo’s confession. It wasn’t until someone screamed and something scratched at your door that you remembered.

 “Theo!” You hissed when you found a wolf at your door. “Quickly get in, you’re lucky my roommates gone for the weekend.”

 Theo came inside and sat in the middle of your floor, whining when you scowled at him and had to tell the panicked people outside that the wolf had gone the other way.

 “What were you thinking coming here!” You sighed and watched when he wiggled his foot and you spotted wire tangled around it. “Oh… sorry, here.” You released his leg and he lay his head on your knee until it healed.

 “You know when I had nightmares Malia would shift into he cayote form and let me cuddle her.” You mumbled as your stroked his fur. “You’re not scary at all like this.”

 You screamed when Theo was suddenly no longer a wolf and he jumped up to cover himself and darted for your bathroom.

 “I’m sorry you made me relax and I shifted back to fast!” He called and you quickly rushed into his room, grabbed some of his clothes and hurried back before his roommate had even realised the door had opened.

 “I’m sorry. Does it hurt when you turn back to fast?” You asked when he came back and shrugged.

 “It does the first few times but after a while you don’t really notice it.” He smiled awkwardly and glanced around your room. “You know you don’t sleep enough right, I can hear you when you stay up.”

 “Why are you up listening to me?” You asked quickly and he smiled.

 “I’m worried about you, it’s taken almost four months of college for you to get used to me hanging around and I don’t want to be pushy but I can smell how stressed you’re becoming and it makes me nervous.” He didn’t look at you as you spoke, instead he found a spot on the ceiling.

 “Theo, do you think maybe you could… sort of… do what Malia does?” You asked and blushed when his eyes widened but he nodded.

 “Sure, just don’t scratch behind my ears or pet my belly because I might shift back oh and please don’t wear the tiny sleep shorts that were in your laundry the other day because I might accidentally shift back.” He blushed when you frowned at him. “You forgot to get it out the other day so I left it by your door, I knew it was yours it smelt nice.”

 You nodded in agreement and hurried to the bathroom, returning to find Theo gently pawing at the bed as he tried to find a spot to sleep in. You started to fall asleep with Theo tucked closely into one side.

 “Theo… you’re not as scary as you used to be… I think maybe Beacon Hills is just a bad place. I… I never really hated you it’s just the only time I knew you was when you were mean and then you know, there was suddenly the guy who broke my arm always trying to talk to me and it freaked me out.” You looked over at him when he sat up and whined as he cocked his head to the side. “I think maybe we could be friends.”

 You smiled when Theo’s tale started to wag and he gave you a look that you took to be embarrassment before shifting around until you were comfortable and let Theo do the same.

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