#oh how I wish he was real

[creepers-creatures07]

I love him so much!

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[dollypopup]

I can't stop thinking about Colin on his travels. Colin, alone, on a journey to 17 different cities, across several countries. Colin on his own.

Colin who writes letter after letter, to his family, to his friends, and barely gets a response back. How long before he understands that they didn't get lost in the mail? How long until he realizes that, just like when he was a boy, no one has the time for him? The space for him? How many letters unanswered before he lets it finally take root and fester in his mind?

He could have died on that tour.

Would they even notice? Would they see when the letters slow until they cease? Would they wonder why? His mum, surely (maybe, possibly, but she has enough on her hands, besides, and he's never been a concern, in need of her assistance, before), but anyone else? Anthony on his honeymoon, Eloise a stormcloud personified, Benedict taking on the familial responsibilities, Fran preparing for the marriage mart and in Bath, regardless. Daphne, his closest sister, a mum running her own estate.

Greg and Hyacinth who enjoy his stories, but are children.

Pen who ignores him. No explanation, no goodbye.

Colin who has no one in his corner. Colin who travels city to city, putting on personas. Will they like me? What about now? Colin who has hardly anything to read from the people he loves. Who do not think of him.

And yet he thinks of them. Brings them back gifts, writes his recollections for them until it hits him that, oh, they don't care. They don't care what he's doing, how he's doing. They didn't want to hear it before, when he was there with them, and they do not want to hear it now, either. Did they even open those envelopes? Did they see them come through the post, just as proof he's alive, and shrug off the contents? Did they look? Once, Colin sends an empty page. No one notices. Easier, then, to send just the outsides. People only ever care about the outsides. Pretty and prim in neat packages, uncaring of what lies beneath. Sea sick on the rocking boats, staring up at stars on the continent, Colin grows aware, but not bitter. Sad, but resigned.

He loves his family, he loves Pen, loves them to grace, loves them to it's okay. It was him, he determines. Too chatty, his letters too long, uninteresting, his passions dull or droll, or else, worse, he's displeased them in some way. Colin who takes refuge in stranger's arms and homes, who dreams and tries to sate his curiosity. Colin who pretends, because anyone, anyone but him would be received better, he's sure of it. Colin who must talk too much, surely, and with no one to listen. Colin who learns to hush.

Yes. Remarkable- as in, I have many remarks about it.

How many times did he go to excitedly write of what he did that week, and stopped himself, knowing it was a waste? How many times did he write and throw into the fire a letter asking Why don't you see me? Why don't you care?

If he didn't make it, how long would it take for anyone to notice? A month? Two? A year? Would they wave it off as his frivolity, denounce him as a flake and fume about the funds? Would they wonder where it was he had lost himself off at?

He cannot fall into that, so, he writes in his journal, instead. Of the ache of it, of how he longs for connection, for understanding, for someone to take him seriously. He keeps it with him, this log of his discontent, of his folly and felicity, of his pitfalls and pains.

If he didn't make it, would they realize all that's left of him is what he sent them, not even a body to bury? Did he look over the side of a bow of a boat and look at the churn of the ocean and think of how many bones it held? Did he tip his face to the sun? How many new scars did he earn? Who did he befriend?

Who did he become?

Somewhere along the line, Colin learned. He learned the real him wasn't wanted.

Somewhere along the line, somewhere between Patmos and Paris, Colin left Colin behind.

And, somewhere along the line, Colin laid face to face with loneliness in his bed, and it wrapped its arms around him.

[mattodore]

birthday boy 🎂

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 787: The back that was pushed!!

Pag 1

1: Packed with the passion of everyone in Sohoku... a full throttle injection of will-power!!

Pag 2

1: Iitsuka-san!!

Goo Fukuoka!!

Oh, Tomaribata!!

Fukuoka, take the mountain!!

2: What about Hakogaku's Manami!?

3: Don't worry about him. He did catch up to me but then suddenly stopped

When I shouted at him, he closed his eyes and fell silent!!

4: Is it because he found out that Iitsuka-san is Fukuoka Josei's “mountain shogun”?

Yeah, probably!!

Amazing!!

5: Let's take the lead now!!

Ahead there's also Fujiwara-san from the Kyuushu team Kumadai!!

6: But anyway for a moment I was so scared....

Pag 3

1: When Hakogaku sent ahead their ace Manami!!

2: I can hear it

4: The first day's mountain prize!! Let's take it, at our hometown's Inter High!!

5: Wait....!!

6: “The sound of wheels”? “He's catching up”?

Could it be that Manami is waiting for someone?

Pag 4

1: And that's why he slowed down....!?

2: Raise your pace, Tomaribata!!

4: We're still at the start of the mountain, if we use up our legs here....

It's fine, we'll establish a good distance now

Huh!? But

Think, idiot!! If you think about it, you'll get it!! The person Manami slowed his legs down to wait for....

Pag 5

1: It's Sohoku's “Mountain King”!!

Pag 8

1: Mountain King!!

2: Fo-fo-for the first day's mountain!?

Why even the Mountain King, even the Mountain King!!

I don't know!! I don't know but that doesn't change the reality!!

3: Last year so many times we couldn't race each other

So I thought that maybe this year too...

4: What do I do if he doesn't come, I thought....

5: I was scared

6: For a while I couldn't even open my eyes

Pag 9

2: I caught up

4: Thank god it's real!!

Pag 10

1: You came, Sakamichi-kun

Yeah!! Manami-kun!!

Pag 11

1: Can we race?

2: Yes!!

Pag 12

3: Everyone in the team pushed my back!!

Pag 13

1: Onoda-kun!!

2: He should have caught up with Manami around now!!

3: Onoda-san!!

4: Hahaha!!

5: Back-gate slope-senpai!!

6: At full throttle!!

At full throttle!!

Run!!

Please run!!

Pag 14

1: Nghh...!!

2: “Nghhh” it's right!!

3: Ahaha

Hahaha

They're suddenly laughing, let's raise our pace!!

Yes!!

4: It was during your training camp on our first year

5: When we raced for the first time

6: I remember I was so excited when I heard that our names were “Sakamichi” and “Sangaku”

It's the perfect combo!!

Pag 15

1: I was surprised you didn't even have your feet fastening on

We stopped at the summer house and talked

2: We were so free back then!!

We didn't have any responsibility, not teams nor jerseys!!

3: Ahaha

4: When you're in second and third year the things you have to do increases so much....

5: I'd throw this “captain” title away anytime!!

Hahaha I get it, it's difficult for me too

Pag 16

1: If someone on my team heard that they would get angry

Doubashi-kun especially would get angry!!

Sounds scary...

4: You're wearing the number “3”

Ah, yeah, uhm, we talked with everyone on the team

Huh.... on official races the winner of the previous year should wear the number “1”

5: I see, leave it to me then

I'll push through, hahaha!!

Thank you!!

Is.. is that alright?

Waa, Pierre-sensei is so reliable!!

6: Your teacher....!!

Then...

7: Yeah, “3” like Makishima-san's “173”

Pag 17

1: I'm also wearing Toudou-san's number “13”

2: “Sleeping beauty”!!

Kuah!! Toudou!!

Pag 18

1: That day, the first day of the Inter High two years ago

2: While we were pulling the team, I imagined those two fighting for the mountain prize....

3: I'm sure they must be having fun

Fighting until you're empty

It can't not be fun!!

4: We can't go right now, but let's do it

A fight until the last drop, until our limits!!

Yeah!!

5: We promised to race

Today may be the day to truly make that wish....

Pag 19

1: come true!!

Pag 20

1: Our third year, the last Inter High

2: The first day.... a fight to compete only for the colored bib

3: The purity of this race is infinitely high!!

4: Yeah!!

Pag 21

5: Let's do it, Manami-kun!!

Pag 22

2: I've been waiting to hear those words!!

[synnemonn]

Sunday 💫⛓️

[valleymyristica]

Sometimes it's best to just sleep

Let your troubles pass, let your mind be free For the only thing you need, is being here with me

I'll keep you safe, happy, do all that you wish Remember, it's only us, though all of this

Just Peri giving Dev some well deserved sleep No other reason, Dev is simply tired, you see @cubbihue, wouldn't you agree?

And I'm sure he'll wake super happy!

[circusk]

i care him so much guys . guys. hes blorbo bingus

[mazojo]

I play Tokyo Debunkers for the plot

The plot:

[evocatiio]

if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently

[aloekat]

🍫 chancellor lapin cadbury 🐇

=====

bulb above i think about this chocolate rabbit WAY TOO MUCH!!!

he's no riz gukgak or barry syx but there is just. something about him. he's so cool and interesting. as a random youtube comment i saw said, "zac oyama plays low intelligent/himbo characters as a blessing for brennan" and it SHOWS with lapin, it really does.

so yeah here's a fun little sketch of him! i think it turned out very silly :]

==========

reblogs > likes but any interaction is greatly appreciated :D! tysm for seeing my art regardless :]

[oozeandgoo-art]

This is (vertically) pretty long; the rest is under the cut to save your dash.

Haven is a lot of things. An effective communicator isn't one.

This is very much intended to be Taran retelling the story of the time this happened to someone else, given the eight-thousand anachronisms and the level of comfort Taran has in talking to Haven. It's so specifically anachronistic in such a specific "I'm telling you a story and I don't want you to get bogged down in the inconvenient details" way that it got me to write 6000 words (and counting) of a stupid wip so I could justify this existing.

Bonus notes: Haven is specifically pretending to be asleep because he doesn't want to talk about the mess in the kitchen. Taran isn't remotely annoyed about that but he would like for next time Haven to come downstairs and say hi instead of putting on a shirt and then pretending to be asleep again.

[soaked-ghost]

i don't really know or care about whatever deep explanation ink might have for thinking nothing is real I just think he's hardcore dissociating from depression and that's why nothing feels real to him.

[starlooove]

No one is asking you to like cops IRL, not even the show. If you look at Arcane and what you see is copaganda, if you look at Cait and only see PoLiCe OfFiCeR and not the character, the problem is YOU.

1. I never said anyone asked me to like cops irl

2. I know that’s what I said.

[anchoredgalaxy]

a court of silver flames gets the award for book where i've said "god i wish everyone in this book would die" the most

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me