#oh how I love angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

filmnings · 2 months ago

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i’m so sorry this took me literally ten years to get to,,, but i’m finally here and omg!!! this was SO good!!!! (๐॔˃̶ᗜ˂̶๐॓)

i know you said that this was like the first fantasy thing that you’ve written and WOAH… i need you to write more fantasy immediately. i feel like it suits your writing style so well and i love the worldbuilding you added in this!! i’m so curious about it all like… the veils??? the veil lanterns (which is such a cool name by the way)???? i could read a whole series on this hehe~~ i really hope you write more fantasy in the future!!!

now here’s my messy live reading lmao >_<

“And I hear a giggle. A giggle! It’s gorgeous. Like the first notes of my favorite song.” stop this is so cute

him communicating with her through the water turning gold or teal is so cute and funny😭 i’m trying to imagine it in real life and i just know i’d be lowkey scared if the water i was looking at suddenly started shimmering gold

“The sound of it is intoxicating—like the sound of leaves rustling in the wind or a bird chirping. It warms me from the inside out.” i love this sentence

“She asks, “What does pink mean?” I shake my head to rid my thoughts of her and the water returns to its natural, clear, blue state.” LMAOOOOO

“booming cities absent from flora and fauna, no magic, lifeless but overwhelming at the same time.” lifeless but overwhelming is such a good description of the human world lmao… it really does feel like this

“Eventually, though, she plucks one out of the ground, holding it between her pointer finger and thumb, twirling it between her fingers. “Just one?”” imagine she just downs like five of them and is higher than the sun

“Her gasp breaks the quiet as her eyes fly open, and for the first time, she sees me.” AHHHHHH ITS HAPPENING

“Smiling, I unfold them, letting them catch the sunlight. Iridescent hues of pink and purple shimmer like liquid light. The intricate patterns etched into the delicate surface that scatter rainbows onto the ground below.” imagining that one scene in tinkerbell secret of the wings (aka the best tinkerbell movie ever)

“You’re so…pretty,” she says. “What’s your name?” SOOBINNNNNNNN

“Her eyes stay on me, intense and unblinking, memorizing every detail of my face to hold onto me for just a moment longer. Then I see it, the shift in her expression. Realization dawns like a shadow passing over her, her gaze losing focus.” i’d start sobbing like NOOOO MY SHAYLAAAAA

“She occupies my every waking moment. I’ve started to feel her even when she’s not here—her absence pressing against me like a quiet storm, a warmth that lingers in the air long after she’s gone. Her voice echoes in my mind when it’s silent. Every time our eyes meet, there’s that spark, that electric connection that tells me we’re on the cusp of something extraordinary.” saving space for this beautiful paragraph❤️

“But before the space between us can grow too wide, she reaches out again, her palm settling against my cheek, her thumb brushing over the curve with a tentative tenderness.” HEHEHEHEHEHE now kiss.

““Can I kiss you?” I whisper.” YEAHHHHHHHHH

him being so confused about what a bra and panties are and the point of them are is so cute!! hehe the way she’s just like “well, look at me…” and he’s all laser focused on her is hilarious

“We call them life lace.” THAT NAME IS SO CUTE HELLO????? petition for everyone to start calling them this

“Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me,” I say. “We don’t have much time.” ten minutes, no hair tie.

“Use me,” she whispers. I hum in question. “Use me to make yourself feel good.” #needthat

“Tears pool in the corners of her eyes. I start to reach for her, until I remember I can’t touch her.” NOOOOO

“But I won’t really be here, will I?” she says, her voice cracking. “I won’t ever be in the right state of mind when we’re together.” damnn…

I NEED THEM TO BE TOGETHER AGAIN!!!! LIKE ACTUALLY. and i need them to be happy and never have to worry about the veils again!!! sobs cries screams,,, hp you broke my heart.

look at me — faerie!soobin x fem!human!reader

cw. soobin is a human-sized faerie with wings, chubby!reader has braces but that's rarely mentioned, reader has anxiety, reader needs to be high on shrooms to see/hear/touch soobin (it'll make sense i swear! ((dear god i hope it makes sense at least))), kissing, penetration (protection not mentioned), cunnilingus, nipple stuff, "baby," angsty ending, let me know if i missed anything. note. like i said, reader has to be high on shrooms to see, hear, and touch soobin, so technically they're both on drugs when they have sex, so caution if that makes you uncomfy. and oh surprise, surprise! very self indulgent. AND omg- shout out to the talented @hyukascampfire for brainstorming with me when i was first thinking about this and along the way as well. i've never written anything remotely fantasy so this is new territory for me and i'm super nervous for y'all to read it, especially faerie princess ashlynn. but i hope y'all love it <3 wc. 7.2K

There she is again. Not many humans venture this far out into the woods, but I recognize her every time. Well, I recognize her aura. Typically, humans appear in a dream-like haze—I can make out what they look like and even hear what they’re saying. But when their hearts are weighed down, their aura overwhelms everything, blinding me to their true physical form.

My friends tease me for being so fascinated with humans, but I can’t help it. They’re delightful in their peculiar ways—bringing their lovers and friends for little celebrations, visiting us with their sweet treats and elixirs. They’re so distracted with joy, they hardly notice when we take some for ourselves.

This human is different, though. She’s always alone, shrouded in a deep, stormy grey cloud that darkens every time she returns. For a moment, her aura softens as she rests at the edge of the creek, taking deep breaths while the storm eases into a fragile calm. But it never lasts. Within a week, she returns and the weight she carries seems heavier than before.

Today, she rushes to the creek bed, crouches by the water, and her weeps and cries are the loudest I’ve ever heard. She’s shaking. I creep closer, hoping to make anything out of her cloud, but nothing. Taking a seat on the moss on the other side of the creek, I simply watch her. Her cries crescendo into a gut-wrenching wail and I can’t take it anymore.

I toss a small pebble into the creek, watching as orange flickers throughout her cloud—fear. After another, it turns a muddy blue—curious. It twists and turns in search of something and when she leans toward the water, I summon a gold shimmer into the creek, dancing across the ripples as it catches the light. Her gasp breaks the silence, and for the first time, I hear her voice, distant and fragile.

“Oh my god.”

A grin tugs at my lips. Her cloud has kept her hidden from me all this time, but I just know she’s absolutely adorable. A small pebble shoots out from her direction, falling into the water and I guide it to land right on top of the other two. When she tosses another in, I pause the current entirely, letting the surface hold still. Then, with a flick of my fingers, I release it with a bloop. And I hear a giggle. A giggle! It’s gorgeous. Like the first notes of my favorite song.

“Hello?” She asks and I conjure a ripple in response. “Is someone there?” In the center of the creek, I create a circle of stillness, the current bending around it at my command. Inside it, I make it change color in an attempt to communicate with her. I add the gold shimmer back, trying to tell her—to scream at her—Yes! Yes, I’m here! I’m right here. But her cloud flares orange—panic—and she stumbles back. In a heartbeat, she’s gone, running away from our dell.

Oh no. Shoving the heels of my hands into my eye sockets out of frustration, I shake my head. Oh no.

It’s been weeks. Every day, I return to watch the humans, hoping my favorite may return. Perhaps it was overwhelming for her—turning water gold that quickly. Regret gnaws at me as I pick a bit of a raspberry from under my nail from when I was harvesting them earlier. A rustle in the distance snaps me to attention, followed by the solid thud of something hitting the mossy ground.

A human. Not the one I’ve been waiting for, but they catch my eye—curvy and stunning and flipping through a book. After a moment, they put it aside, sitting criss-cross on the creekbank, bending toward the water.

“Hello?” She asks. Wait. I know that voice. I only heard it for a moment, but I’ve been dreaming about it so much recently, I’d recognize it anywhere now. She’s back! And I can see her!

And she’s so incredibly beautiful, I can’t help but stare. I stumble toward the creek bed and she speaks again, “Hello?” I respond with a water ripple.

“Hello, I’m here.” Speaking is useless, but I whisper under my breath anyway.

“Are you the same…thing I was talking to a few weeks ago?” The water slowly turns a gold shimmer and she grins. “Can I ask you some questions?” The gold gets stronger. “Gold means yes?” The shimmer holds steady. “Am I speaking with the water?” I make it turn a deep, murky teal. “Does that mean no?” Gold. “A witch?” Teal. “A ghost?” Teal again. “An angel?” Teal. “A faerie?”

Gold shimmer. I whisper, “Yes, yes,” proud of her for getting it.

“A faerie?” She asks excitedly and I celebrate with her in the form of a water ripple. “Oh wow,” she whispers. “So you can hear me?” Gold. “Can you see me?” Ah, what do I do now? I can’t quite see her yet, but I definitely can see more of her than she can of me.

“Grey?” She’s silent for a moment, humming as she tries to understand. “You don’t know if you can see me?” Teal. “You can kinda see me?” Gold. “I can’t see you at all,” she mumbles. She looks up again, unsure where to look. “Did you know that?” It stays gold while she chuckles to herself. The sound of it is intoxicating—like the sound of leaves rustling in the wind or a bird chirping. It warms me from the inside out.

“Where are you?” She asks. The current splits into two, flowing against each other and converging in a point aimed directly at me. As she follows the arrow with her eyes to look at me, her cloud clears fully and I can finally see her. For real this time. There’s still that angelic glow that won’t go away until the Veils have been lifted but I’m not so sure I’d want it to go away anyway. She’s absolutely, positively stunning. My breath is taken away. Her smile reaches her eyes and there’s something in her mouth—something I’ve never seen before, shiny and on every tooth.

Her body curves and moves gloriously and she looks irresistibly soft and…sexy. And I don’t use that word often. I want to hold her, touch her, squeeze her, make her feel something, but she can’t even see me. Even if I tried, my touch would be nothing but the whisper of a ghost.

Glancing down, her eyebrows furrow in confusion. She asks, “What does pink mean?” I shake my head to rid my thoughts of her and the water returns to its natural, clear, blue state.

There’s a beat of silence. She awkwardly speaks up, “So, a faerie, huh?” Slowly, the calm pool turns gold again. “I’ve got some books about the Fae.” Bubbles rise in curiosity. “Are you a human-sized faerie?” Gold.

“I think I may be a bit taller than you, though…” I whisper. I’m taller than most everyone in my village, so I can only assume I’m taller than her as well.

“A lot of these books say you all hate humans,” she says matter-of-factly.

The water turns a deep, angry red. “That’s a misconception!” I say with a grumpy giggle. Although, she’s not totally wrong. Most other faeries I know do hate humans, I suppose. I’m not sure why, though—they’re so sweet and cute. Us faeries tend to have a superiority complex. But that doesn’t mean we all have it out for the entirety of the human race.

“Oh,” she says, holding her hands up. “Sorry.” I forgot she can’t hear me, so the water calms itself. “Do you hate humans?” I can’t make it teal fast enough.

We spend hours in our woodland dell together—she watches as I make the water change colors, as I make flowers bloom in patterns, and as I talk with rabbits, asking them to bring me back berries and nuts. The way her eyes light up when I make the peonies bloom makes me feel like nothing else matters. I’d sit here for hours, building and blooming the garden of her dreams if I could—just to make her happy.

“Can I tell you a secret?” She asks, sitting next to me on the creekbank now that we’re on the same side. The water constantly follows me to show her my location.

“Of course,” I respond under my breath, hoping something might leak through into her realm.

“Coming out here and talking to you…” she sighs. “Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.” She chuckles. “Like, what would someone think if they saw me giggling at the water?” I wish I could shatter the wall blocking her realm from mine, dissolving any of that hesitancy and uncertainty. “But it makes me feel sane. It’s the only time I feel like my world isn’t falling apart.”

She’s told me all about her world—a stressful job, family problems, and constant crippling anxiety. I can’t imagine living in a world like hers. Humans fascinate me, yes, but I avoid the world they’ve created at all costs—booming cities absent from flora and fauna, no magic, lifeless but overwhelming at the same time.

“That’s a new one,” she says, glancing down at the water. When she looks back up, guessing where my eyes are, she asks, “What does silver mean?”

“I’m sad,” I whisper. Almost at the exact same time, like we’re connected at the heart, we say,

“I wish you could hear me.”“I wish I could hear you.”

As she fiddles with the green moss under her legs the water slowly turns a gold shimmer. I want that too. I want to talk to her, to feel her, hug her, kiss her. I want to be hers, to protect her from all that pain in her world. But my heart drops, the water steadily turning a sad silver again. I could never be that for her.

“Why can’t I see you?” She asks, sadness laced in her voice. I conjure a gentle wind, making one of her books fly open, flipping to a page titled, The Fae and Humans: Perception and Interaction. Her head snaps toward the sound, curiosity pulling her closer. Slowly, she crouches and reads aloud, “There is an intricate balance of aural, visibility, touch, and the altered states required to bridge the divide between the Fae and human realms. Understanding the two key thresholds—The Veil of Sight and Sound and the Veil of Touch—are crucial when communicating with the Fae.

“The Veil of Sight and Sound: Faeries exist on a frequency of reality imperceptible to humans. Under normal conditions, human vision and hearing cannot penetrate this Veil; however, certain factors can alter a human's perceptual capabilities. Mild intoxication induced by substances can create a temporary overlap between the human and faerie realms. In this state, humans can see and hear faeries in their true forms.

“The Veil of Touch: Even when humans achieve the rare ability to see and hear faeries, the Veil of Touch presents a further barrier. While perception might align momentarily, the physical matter of faeries and humans does not naturally interact. For touch to occur, a human must enter a deeper altered state—one that further detaches them from their own plane.”

Taking everything in, her lips barely move when she whispers, “Intoxication?” The water points toward a ring of mushrooms nestled at the edge of the creek. Each one has a delicate pearly white cap with faint iridescent streaks that catch the light like oil on water. The ring itself isn’t perfect; they grow unevenly, edges blending with soft moss and fallen leaves. They look relatively ordinary, but those iridescent streaks tell me they’re undeniably veil lanterns, a substance that lifts both veils for humans. Moving closer to the ring of mushrooms, she asks, “If I eat one of these, I’ll be able to see and hear you?” Gold shimmer. “How does it make me feel?”

How do I put this? I make the water swirl in on itself in different directions while it turns different shades of blue and green. It spirals upward into a sphere that hovers for a moment before gracefully falling back to the creek.

“Like I’m floating?” She asks curiously. Gold shimmer. She looks back at the mushrooms, her expression torn between hope and hesitation. “That doesn’t sound so bad,” she says softly, but her hand doesn’t move closer. Eventually, though, she plucks one out of the ground, holding it between her pointer finger and thumb, twirling it between her fingers. “Just one?”

“Just one,” I whisper under my breath as the water turns gold. Popping it in her mouth, I watch the soft aura that still surrounds her physical form turn a pretty relaxed yellow over the course of a few minutes. She talks to me as she lets the mushroom settle in—asking how long it’ll take or what happens if it doesn’t work.

“What if I’ve been making all this up in my head?” She chuckles to herself. “And I’ve been talking to a creek this whole time? How embarrassing would that be?” She rubs her hands over her face, groaning. “I can’t believe this,” she grumbles, curling into herself, her knees pulled tight to her chest, arms wrapped around them. Resting her chin on her knees, she closes her eyes and mutters, “Thinking a creek is talking to me…”

“That does sound a little silly,” I say, my voice light with amusement.

Her gasp breaks the quiet as her eyes fly open, and for the first time, she sees me. The realization washes over her in waves—hesitation, awe, and then a dawning understanding.

“Hello,” I say softly, letting her take me in, her eyes tracing over my entire body.

“Hi,” she breathes. “Where are your wings?” That’s an unexpected first question. Smiling, I unfold them, letting them catch the sunlight. Iridescent hues of pink and purple shimmer like liquid light. The intricate patterns etched into the delicate surface that scatter rainbows onto the ground below.

“Wow…” she whispers in disbelief. She reaches out slowly, her fingertips trembling as they near me. But her hand passes straight through, our realms still worlds apart. Confusion clouds her face and her glassy eyes blink with disappointment.

I shake my head and remind her, “The Veil of Touch, remember?”

“Oh, I need to have another mushroom?” I nod. She hurriedly reaches for one.

“Wait.” She halts and looks up at me. “You should take it easy with those. Let’s just talk. I’ve been dying for you to hear my voice.”

“That’s true.” She looks over at the water, then glances back up at me. “You’re so…pretty,” she says. “What’s your name?”

“Soobin.” Then she tells me her name. “We can have conversations much easier now, huh?” I smile.

With the Veil lifted, we spend the hour learning all we can about each other—her favorite color isn’t just yellow, it’s turmeric. She loves how it looks when she puts a teaspoon of it in her rice cooker and it spreads throughout the water. Her favorite flower is a poinsettia because her mother used to line the front porch with them during a winter holiday called Christmas. Those things on her teeth are called braces and they’re supposed to help her teeth somehow. She hates celery and loves broccoli, especially if they’re roasted in an oven. That scar on her cheek is from learning something called skateboarding. She loves the rain but is terrified of thunder. She hates how loud her laugh is, though it's my favorite sound.

She worries about being too much and not enough all at once.

As we talk, I can’t tell how much time we have left. I can tell I’m fading from her view but she never fades from mine. Her laughter grows quieter, her giggles becoming rare until they’re gone altogether. Her high is wearing off, and with it, the fragile connection we share. I can feel her pulling back, closing herself off again, like the gentle drift of someone falling asleep without realizing it.

Her eyes stay on me, intense and unblinking, memorizing every detail of my face to hold onto me for just a moment longer. Then I see it, the shift in her expression. Realization dawns like a shadow passing over her, her gaze losing focus.

“I can’t see you anymore,” she murmurs, her voice tinged with resignation. She sighs, her shoulders slumping. “You’re gone again.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” I ask, my voice soft but steady. Over the years, I’ve forged fragile connections with humans, always careful never to push too hard. Yet no matter how gentle I am, the same thing happens—they see too much, fear too much, and never return. And I don’t blame them. It’s utterly overwhelming. There’s no denying that.

But she’s been visiting me for months and I’ve never been this close to anyone. With her, the world feels sharper, more vivid. Every time she speaks, her words resonate with something deep inside me, as if they echo through places I’ve forgotten even existed.

She occupies my every waking moment. I’ve started to feel her even when she’s not here—her absence pressing against me like a quiet storm, a warmth that lingers in the air long after she’s gone. Her voice echoes in my mind when it’s silent. Every time our eyes meet, there’s that spark, that electric connection that tells me we’re on the cusp of something extraordinary.

We’ve talked about taking the next step so many times now. But it’s a huge step. It’s about stepping into a new reality, about making something impossible real.

She nods, her eyes bright with determination. “I’m sure.”

She picks up the mushroom, turning it over in her hands as though its surface might help her validate her decision. Then, with a shaky breath, she sets it back down, her resolve wavering. “What if this isn’t real?” she whispers, her gaze fixed on her trembling fingers. “What if I’ve just been…hallucinating all of this?”

“You’re not hallucinating,” I say gently.

She hugs her knees to her chest, biting her lip. “But what if I am? And if I eat another one, I just sink deeper into this… dream? Or illusion? Or whatever this is.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I assure her, leaning closer.

She lifts her head slightly, her expression torn. “But if I need these just to talk to you…” Her voice falters. “Doesn’t that mean I’ll always be dependent on them?”

I meet her gaze, steady and unwavering. “You’re already talking to me,” I say. “You don’t need another one to keep doing that.”

Her breath catches, and for a moment, silence hangs between us. Then she speaks again, “But I can’t touch you.” Her eyes glisten, her vulnerability shining through. “And I want to.”

Something in me stirs—sharp and undeniable. My chest tightens, my voice trembling, “I want that too.”

She sighs my name, and it feels like the world is tilting. Her cheeks flush as she hesitates. “I want to…maybe it’s the mushroom talking,” she says quickly, her words tumbling out, “but I want you. I want you to kiss me and hold me and make me feel—”

“I want all of that too,” I interrupt, my voice low and earnest. “But only if you’re ready.”

Her shoulders sag slightly, her head tilting as she stares at the ground. “But it’ll never be truly real, though, will it?”

“It’s real,” I say softly. “Maybe not in the way we want it to be—but real enough to feel.” Nodding, she takes several seconds to think, picking at the green moss as a distraction. “What if I ate one too?”

“Would it even affect you?”

I nod and add, “It gives me a high, but nothing…magical happens.” We both agree to eat one, giggling and talking while we let them both set in.

“I’m not feeling much different, to be honest,” she says, her voice faltering. “I’m starting to think none of this is real. I’m just… seeing you, but you’re not really there.” Her hand lifts, a trembling finger reaching toward my cheek.

Then it happens.

The moment her skin touches mine, a spark—soft, warm, and undeniable—flares between us. She gasps, jerking her hand back as though it's been burned. But before the space between us can grow too wide, she reaches out again, her palm settling against my cheek, her thumb brushing over the curve with a tentative tenderness.

Her touch anchors me, and for a moment, I can’t speak.

“…Soobin,” she whispers, her voice breaking. “I’m scared.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re there. You’re really there.”

“I know,” I say, chuckling. “I’m really here. Watch this.” I reach out, dragging my fingertips over her forearm. She gasps again, yanking her hand back. “Are you okay?” I ask, concern flickering in my voice. She nods, slowly and deliberately moving her hand forward. Then, she runs her fingers through my hair and glides them down my shoulder and arm, leaving a shiver in their wake.

“Can I…your wings?” she asks, her voice filled with awe. I let them unfold just enough for her to see. Her breath hitches as she reaches out, the tip of her pointer finger brushing against the delicate edge of one wing. It flutters instinctively at her touch, responding to her presence, which spooks her a bit.

“It’s okay,” I murmur, watching her hand.

Encouraged and confident, she places her hand fully on top of my wing, her fingers tracing its intricate patterns as though committing every curve and shimmer to memory.

“Wow…that’s unreal,” she says. “I mean, it’s real, but doesn’t seem like it should be.” She inches closer, the space between us dissolving until our knees barely touch. Her fingers run down my arm lightly before picking up my hand, examining it closely, her thumb tracing the lines of my palm, the curve of my fingers. Then, I mirror her actions, taking her hand in mine. It’s warm, human, and yet so fragile under my touch.

Her hand travels upward to trace my features with her thumb. She lingers over the arch of my eyebrow, down the bridge of my nose, along the edge of my jaw. When she reaches my lips, her thumb pauses, grazing over the softness of my bottom lip. A breath escapes me, unbidden, and her touch slows, her thumb resting there for just a moment longer before she withdraws, her hand trembling slightly as it falls back into her lap.

I respond, my thumb swiping across her bottom lip and I tug her closer by her jaw until I can feel her breath on my chin.

“Can I kiss you?” I whisper.

She nods.

Our lips fall into one another and move over each other so beautifully—it beats out rainbows and peonies, the sound of water falling, the smell of peppermint leaves. It’s a paradox, making everything else feel insignificant yet illuminating the meaning of it all in the same breath.

It deepens and I hover over her, her legs coming out from under her while I guide her to lay down on the mossy patch, our lips never parting. Her lips feel so magical and soft and we only stop when she needs to come up for air. We smile at each other, our eyes sharing the same redness and glassy daze. I know exactly what I want to happen next, but I’m not so sure she’s ready for all that. I look at her, taking in all her beauty.

“You’re gorgeous,” I tell her.

“So are you,” she slurs. She reaches for my hand that’s already resting on her hip and moves it up to her chest, encouraging me to feel all of her.

I whisper her name and ask, “Are you sure you want this?”

“Please.” My lips crash into hers again and our hands are all over each other, on each other’s bodies, in each other’s hair, squeezing and squishing and feeling and rubbing. She breaks the kiss, “Have you ever done this before? You know, with a human?”

“Not with a human,” I chuckle. “But all the anatomy’s the same.”

“That’s good,” she giggles, grabbing my hair to kiss me again, but she’s quick to pull back. “Go slow, okay?” I nod. With a snap of my fingers, flowers swirl together, carried by a gentle breeze, forming a soft pillow for her to rest her head on. “Ah, thank you. I forgot you can do stuff like that.” Lifting the skirt of her dress up, I slowly move it past her thighs and she asks with a trembling voice, “Will people see us?”

I shake my head, telling her, “I cast a shadow cloak around us. No one can see us. Not even the other fae.” A look of relief and content falls across her face. “Can I…?” I ask, lifting her dress more. She nods. With each passing inch, my heart thumps as I drag my fingertips over her legs. Lifting it over her head, she’s laying under me, mostly bare. She’s still wearing two tiny pieces of fabric that cover her chest and bottom.

“I wore these for you,” she says, her voice soft and tinged with a shyness she can’t quite hide. The veil lanterns must’ve loosened her lips.

“You did?” My hands explore her curves, reverent and curious, tracing every inch of her body. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Thank you.” Her skin is soft and inviting under my lips, and I scatter kisses lower, her body responding perfectly with mine. But then, I can’t hide my fascination any longer. I pause, my thumb brushing over the delicate pink fabric that’s still on her body. How do I put this? Ah, let’s just be candid. “What is this?”

“What do you mean?”

“These,” I say, running my fingers along the straps and edges of the fabric. “I’ve never seen clothes like this before.”

“Oh,” she giggles, tugging gently at one of the straps. “This is a bra. And these,” she gestures to the sides of the fabric on her hips, “are panties.” I hum thoughtfully, studying her with an amused tilt of my head.

“We don’t wear things like this. What’s the point of them?”

Her lips curve into a playful smile. “Look at me.” And I do. She’s delicious. “That’s the point.”

I smirk, my gaze lingering on her. “Am I—are you—supposed to take them off?”

“Yes,” she says, her voice catching just slightly, her flush deepening. My fingers brush over the fabric again, savoring the contrast between it and her skin. “Do you not like them?” she asks, her tone almost teasing.

“No, I do,” I reply, my voice dipping lower. “I have a feeling I’ll like your body even more.” I start to try and pull them off, but—

“Not yet,” she sighs. “Come here.” I sit up and she follows, her hand drifting to my top button. Slowly, she unfastens it, the slinky pink velvet slipping through her fingers with each deliberate motion. Once she pushes my shirt past my shoulders, I tug at the cuffs to free my arms. Her gaze stays locked on me as I fold my wings down, the delicate motion allowing me to slip the shirt off completely.

Extending her arm out, the tip of her middle finger barely touches my chest before she jerks her hand back, still not believing I’m tangible. Then she lets her hand fully press my body, dragging down to my waist. I remember how much my wings fascinate her, so I unfold them for her and she gasps.

Leaning closer, our lips fall into each other and I guide her to lay down again just the same as before. My thumb drags across the apple of her cheek, trailed by my pointer finger down column of her neck, following a line between her breasts, down to squeeze her waist. Holding her bra strap between my pointer and middle finger, I slowly pull it down, leaving kisses along the way and hoping I’m doing this whole bra-and-panties thing correctly. Then I do the same with the other side, watching as she effortlessly reaches behind her, making something snap so it falls off her chest, hanging loosely. She pulls it off herself, although I think I’m supposed to be the one that does that. Next time.

Looking down at her bare chest, I can’t help but feel giddy. The way her chest curves on itself, creating a gorgeous shape I desperately need to feel.

“I love these,” I say, kissing the side of her breast. She hums in question. And I nudge the marks on her skin with the tip of my nose. “These,” I say.

Her gaze follows mine as she glances down and asks, “Oh, my stretch marks?”

“We call them life lace.”

Her expression softens, her eyes meeting mine. “Life lace,” she repeats quietly, as if testing the words, a touch of wonder in her voice. I search and scour for every bit I can find—the most of it on her tummy, hips, and thighs. She’s still got that last bit of clothing around her hips she hasn’t taken off yet. That final barrier between us. We’ve knocked every other barrier down but something about this last one feels utterly real in a way the others didn’t.

Wrapping my hands around her thighs, I pull her gently so her legs wrap around my ears gently, shoving my face into her center over that last bit of clothing, inhaling. I’ve never been this close to a human before. She smells so different from the fae I’ve been with. She’s intoxicating and delightful—my mouth waters at how delicious she smells.

“I take this off, too?” I nudge at her entrance, earning a jolt. I must’ve nudged something sensitive. She nods eagerly, helping me take them off her.

“You too,” she reminds me and I shuffle to get rid of the rest of my clothes. Looking down at her, she’s giddy and completely entranced, which twinges my heart. It’s just the veil lanterns, the cynical part of me reminds myself. Her legs are casually spread open, giving me a full display of her glistening pussy. I skate my hands up her legs, feeling her ground herself in the feeling of my hands.

Teasing her entrance with my thumb, she’s hot and wet as she flutters around nothing, waiting for anything from me. I gather just enough of her wetness to make my pointer finger slick and tap her clit, making her flinch. Then, I rub the slowest, lightest circles over the nub and she lets out a ragged sigh. Her tightened muscles relax as she allows herself to feel every move I’m making, letting her head gently fall to the pillow of flowers.

Once she’s practically dripping, I slide my two middle fingers inside her, curling them to tease the most sensitive bit with the pads of them. Bending, I flick my pointed tongue against her clit, eliciting a whine while she desperately reaches for my hair. I’ve never tasted a human either, I realize. I’m not sure anything will ever be as delicious as her again.

“Oh my god,” she whimpers. Every sound she makes is gorgeous but I can’t wait to hear what she sounds like when she comes. I bet it's the most beautiful in the world. “W—wait…” she trails off, her hip thrusts betraying her words. “Soobin, wait—” she gasps. This time, I stop. Gently wrapping her hand around the back of my neck to pull me closer. “I want you…all of you, please.”

I take the time to memorize what her face looks like, how her hair is splayed out against the flowers, how kissable her lips look. And I don’t resist them. Pressing my lips to hers again, they mould into each other like we should’ve never been apart in the first place. She tries to place her hands on my back, stumbling as she realizes my wings are in the way, which rustle in response. Instead, she rests them on my waist, squeezing delicately.

We hesitantly part so I can sit up on my knees. This time, I take the time to memorize everything about her body—her stomach rolls folding from holding her legs open, the life lace at the tops of her thighs, the swell of her ass squished by the ground. Everything is absolute, utter perfection.

Slowly gracing my hands to follow the curve of her waist then down to her thighs and hips, little bumps cover her skin. I forget what humans call them. Finding her clit with my thumb again, I rub agonizingly slow circles, forcing her hips to roll involuntarily. Barely prodding her entrance with my cock, I watch her shiver and whine, quickly getting impatient. When I back off, her pelvis bucks, her body begging for me on its own.

Aligning myself at her pussy again, I push myself in, only letting myself about halfway inside her but she still takes my breath away. Just as she’s about to let out a sigh of relief, I pull out of her again.

“Stop…” she whines. “Stop teasing me so much.” I chuckle with her—I guess I should get to the good stuff. “Please…please stop teasing me so much.”

I concede and when I’m finally fully inside her, everything feels so…much. It’s all so much. I feel like I’ve never felt before, like nothing has ever had any impact before her, like nothing will ever feel as good until we’re together again. I bend at my waist, supporting myself with my elbows around her face and her eyes flutter shut.

“Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me,” I say. “We don’t have much time.”

When she opens her eyes and looks into mine, still nothing matters—not that she can’t see me without the veil lanterns, not that I could disappear from her view any minute, not that we could never truly be together. The way she feels overshadows all of that.

We don’t have much time, I remind myself. I sink deeper inside her, digging my face into her neck.

“Look at me,” she reminds me and I follow her instructions. We find a rhythm we both like, desperately thrusting in and out of her. “Kiss me…kiss me please,” she whispers. Our lips meet furiously as my hips dig into hers. “I need to feel you as much as I can,” she says. “Before I can’t anymore.” Resting her arms against my lower back—right below my wings—she squeezes around me, rubbing her hands up and down my waist. Delicately and hesitantly, she slides her hands up, letting her hands rest gently where my wings meet my skin.

There’s a vulnerability to it I wasn’t expecting. It’s not something I’ve thought about before—no one’s ever touched me like that there before, not even another faerie. My breath catches when her fingers trace the delicate ridge where my wings connect to my body. I shudder, the sensation overwhelming and pleasant. Her eyes widen, searching mine, unsure if she’s crossed a line.

“Is this okay?” she asks softly, her voice trembling.

I press my forehead to hers, nodding. “It’s okay,” I respond. “More than okay.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she says, her thumbs brushing lightly against the base of my wings.

“You won’t,” I promise, though my voice is raw, barely audible. “You couldn’t.”

Her lips find mine again, gentler this time, like her touch softened the urgency between us. The rhythm slows, turning into something deeper, more deliberate. Her hands never stray far from my wings and the trust in her touch makes my chest ache in the best way. In this moment, she sees me—not just with her eyes, but as someone she wants to hold onto, even when she knows she can’t forever.

“You feel,” she gasps. “I can’t—”

“I know, baby…” I sigh. “I know.” I silence her whimpers with my mouth, swallowing any whines that escape past her lips. I argue with myself trying to decide if I should close my eyes to savor how she feels, never leaving her lips or if I should keep them open to make sure I commit the sight of her underneath me to memory. Either way is a win for me to be fair.

Breaking the kiss, I trail my lips all over her body, tasting every inch of her. She’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever tasted before, slightly salty and warm against my tongue, different from the typical sweetness of other faeries. Every time I press my lips to her, I kiss away a hardship. I kiss away the stress in her shoulders, kiss away the problems she faces in her day-to-day life, kiss away any anxieties she feels. I’m desperate to make her feel good, to remind her that none of that matters here. With me.

When I flick my tongue over her nipple, her back arches, a gasp following her movements. I keep my thrusts steady, feeling her release building up in her stomach. I watch as her tummy muscles tighten then she desperately reaches for my hair, pulling me closer so our bodies are pressed together again. Her arms are wrapped around my torso and I can feel her clenching around me, teetering on the edge of something incredible.

“Soobin—” she gasps. “Don’t—” Her back arches. “Hmm…I’m close,” she says, a smile evident in her voice. “Please, please…” I don’t think she even knows what she’s begging for anymore. Begging for anything—my cock, my hands, my lips, a release.

Then, her nails dig into my lower back as she bites my shoulder, groaning loudly against my skin as she comes around my cock, pussy pulsating around me as she whimpers and whines through it.

“Oh my god,” she pants and just as she starts to twitch from overstimulation, I slow my movements, peppering her neck and face with kisses. She catches her breath, whispering incoherent things in my ears, things like my name, swears, giggles.

“Use me,” she whispers. I hum in question. “Use me to make yourself feel good.” I lift her legs, pressing them toward her chest, letting me reach the deepest parts of her. And everything about her feels incredible. Pounding into her quickly, I squeeze one of her tits with one hand and use the other to hold her waist in place.

It doesn’t take long for something inside me to twist and turn, begging to be snapped so I can fill her up. My stomach ties itself into too many knots as a white hot fire burns in the pit of it. The noises she’s making adds fuel to the fire, burning and burning until I can’t hold back anymore. With a few final thrusts, everything inside me breaks, like it’s all been building until this moment. I make a conscious effort to take my time and feel everything, thinking about how her pussy feels wrapped around my cock, how her tit feels in my hand, what she smells like, what she looks like. Everything is magic.

As I catch my breath, I pull out of her so slowly she shivers and I watch as my cum spills out of her while she giggles bashfully. I panic as I realize I didn’t prepare to clean up. Why didn’t I prepare for clean-up? She finds that little piece of fabric she was wearing earlier—what was it called again?—and uses them to wipe herself clean before folding them meticulously to store in her bag.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Eh…” she hums. …Eh? “Just kinda bittersweet is all, you know?” I shake my head in disappointment. “No, no!” She runs her fingers through my hair, looking at me sweetly. “That was amazing.” She kisses me deeply. “I should’ve started with that. I’m sorry.”

“You swear?”

“Of course,” she sighs. “That was incredible. It’s just…”

“I know,” I say. “How much time do we have left, you think?” Averting her eyes from mine, she looks down to fiddle with her thumbs.

“You’re already starting to fade.”

“Then look at me,” I say, taking her hands in mine. “Look at me until you can’t anymore.” She chuckles, bringing her eyes up to meet mine. We stare at each other, running our hands over each other’s bodies until we’ll no longer be able to feel the other. Once the Veil of Touch separates our hands again, we hesitantly get dressed during the last few minutes before the Veil of Sight and Sound completely separates us. She pulls her dress back over her head, closing off my view from her.

We sit again, facing toward each other, anxiously waiting until I fade from her view. Tears pool in the corners of her eyes. I start to reach for her, until I remember I can’t touch her.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Soobin,” she sniffles. I scoot closer to her.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I can do this,” she gestures between us. “Only seeing you when I’m on some kind of high from those mushrooms? This would never work. I can’t just…not see or hear you when I’m sober. I can’t—this isn’t—” Her words puncture my lungs and I can’t breathe. The ache in her voice echoes into my chest and I hate these fucking Veils. What’s the point in them anyway? Can’t they be destroyed?

“Don’t say that,” I plead.

She shakes her head, tears spilling over as she wipes at her cheeks with trembling hands. “I can’t keep falling deeper for you, only to lose you every time the spell fades. It’s breaking me apart.”

My throat tightens. “You’re not losing me. I’ll always be here. Always. I promise.”

“But I won’t really be here, will I?” she says, her voice cracking. “I won’t ever be in the right state of mind when we’re together.”

Her words hang heavy in the air and all I can hear is the soft babble of the creek. I try to reach for her again, forgetting again I can’t. My hand hovers uselessly in the air before falling back to my side.

“There has to be another way,” I say, desperation creeping into my voice. “Something we haven’t tried. A way to get rid of them so we can be together.” She looks at me, her expression a mixture of longing and heartbreak.

“And if there isn’t? What then? Do we keep doing this forever?”

Leaning closer, I say, “You’re worth it.”

Her face crumples, and she presses her hands to her face as if to shield herself from my words. “Soobin, I—” I know the edges of her vision are starting to blur, the Veil is about to take me from her. Again. “Don’t go,” she whispers, her voice breaking.

“I’m not leaving you,” I say. “Not really. I’ll always be here. Waiting.” And then I know I’m gone by the sound of her cries. I turn the water a rich, warm shade of yellow with deep golden and earthy undertones—turmeric—so she knows I’m still there with her. She stands slowly, turns and starts to walk away but stops a few steps in, she looks back, somehow right into my eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

#𝓴𝗶𝗽𝗼 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔! ๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) ˑ༄#𝓁𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝖻𝗈𝗒──soobin ♡ ˎˊ˗#[oh la la!] : dreamlike fantasy #i am HEARTBROKEN.#oh how i love angst #soobin x reader #soobin smut #txt x reader #txt smut

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aurorasdaybreak · 21 days ago

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the love shot °˖➴ caleb xia (m)

summary: usually, you're able to keep apart love and hate with ease. but with him, you find that the two are not only more similar than they seem, but also deeply intertwined - to the point you can't separate them anymore. info: farspace fleet colonel!caleb x hunter afab!reader | story compliant | fluff, angst, smut | 18+ | 10k words warnings: some angst, some fluff, mostly smut, possessive!caleb bc ofc he is, possessive!mc bc have you seen his myth?? she did not want to let go AT ALL, (light) spoilers for caleb’s myth, timeline wise this happens i’m considering this an extension of painful signal that might be out of timeline whoopsies (;—;), kissing, making out against a wall, teasing, inappropriate use of evol, dom!caleb, sub!f!reader, choking, f!receiving fingering, f!receiving oral, edging, marking, praise, degradation (slut, cockslut), f!multiple orgasms, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), kinda sappy sex, cervix fucking(ish), caleb checking in bc he’s going hard (and consent and checking in is sexy!), ending is sappy and fluffy?? idk (T_T) author’s note: hi hi hello! i'm new to lads tumblr (but not to writing) and i'm very excited to be here :') it's been a little bit since i've written, so pls be kind but also pls feel free to leave your thoughts in my askbox!! i hope you enjoy :D disclaimer: not beta read, will edit soon for any mistakes!! if you are a minor and you're seeing this, i ask that you turn away and do not read. this is an 18+ story and minors are not welcome. if you are uncomfortable with any of the topics listed in the warning, please do not read this story! °˖➴ inspired by love shot by exo

It’s been hard for you to distinguish what’s true and false these past couple of weeks.

When you took your leave, you had deemed it as a necessary distraction from all of the grief and pain that’s been greeting you in your apartment. You had established your universe’s truths before you touched base in Skyhaven: you’re a Deepspace hunter, you’re here to find links between Ever and the Farspace Fleet, and you’re definitely not using this half-baked mission to run away from what haunts you at night.

An explosion. A necklace just out of reach. Amethyst eyes, dismayed yet hiding something that you couldn’t quite decipher.

You had grown numb to the pain, but that didn’t mean it never left you alone.

When you had gotten into formation waiting for the new Farspace Fleet colonel, you were sure of the reality that you were living in. As lackluster as the world had gotten, it still turned, and you couldn’t wallow and let your anguish eat you alive.

So you stood, holding your breath and waiting to catch a glimpse of the new colonel…

…only for everything you knew to be shattered in an instant.

Because it was him.

But was it really?

In the weeks that followed, you stayed with him and learned new things that kept threatening to disturb the peace you fought to maintain. You learned of his monumental rise through the ranks, the secrets he tried to stash away, even what his workload entailed.

You also learned how wicked he could truly be, bending your trust until you thought it would shatter in between his fingers.

After uncovering the real truth, you had returned to Linkon City and relayed all you knew to Jenna - minus the enigmatic colonel the Association was chasing after. How could you even begin to tell her that the Farspace Fleet’s most feared leader is your childhood best friend? The one that you swore blew up right before your very eyes?

You couldn’t, not without uncovering the truth for yourself first.

So you went back to Skyhaven, spending more days with him.

Looking back on it now, it was almost like when you were kids. He took care of you, cooking your favorite meals and doting on you like he always did. There were soft, stolen moments that you tried to keep at the forefront of your brain, but it was hard to grasp on that warmth when there was an underlying chill in the moments you’ve shared.

You didn’t know then, but you now know the extent of just how wrong things have been within the ranks of the Farspace Fleet. The Toring Chip, memory resets when emotions get too high…people becoming a shell of what they used to be.

You didn’t think that all of this could even exist, much less be possible and be used in such an unfeeling way. In your heart of hearts, you just didn’t want to believe it because it meant that he had gone through it. You had been delusional enough to think he had dodged it.

But all it took was one call from Gideon for you to uncover the truth. Now…

Now, you’re taking in the sight of Caleb Xia’s metal arm in your hands.

You and him are sitting side by side on his makeshift cot, thighs pressed together as you turn the foreign part in your palms. He complies with your silent assessment, moving his arm up and down so that you can examine every angle. Something violent begins to brew in your stomach as you run your fingers along the smooth metal - a rage that you don’t quite know how to quell because you’ve never felt something of this magnitude before.

You almost welcome it. It’s preferable to the gray haze you’ve been living in these past couple of months.

“Do you remember the process?” Your voice is deceptively calm as your palm slides down the length of his forearm so that you can grab his wrist, and you rest his hand in your lap so that you can play with his fingers.

There’s a beat of silence before Caleb lets out a sigh. He pulls his hand from your lap and presses it into his thigh, the joints of his fingers creaking just a little bit at the sheer amount of force he exerts on his own skin. You tut at this, and you grab his wrist again so that you can help his hand relax. You take your time in unfurling each of his metal digits, gently straightening each of them at the knuckle so that they no longer crease. The action has Caleb relaxing, and you try not to shiver when you feel him rest his head on your shoulder.

“I only remember the pain.” It’s a quiet admission, one that leaves his lips and gently ruffles the hair by your ear like a summer breeze carrying a heavy secret. His fingers curl around your own and he squeezes tightly, you returning the same strength. “Looking back, I was thankful for just how excruciating it was. It reminded me that I was alive and that I wasn’t gonna waste my second chance.”

“I hate that you can’t feel much with it anymore.” Your tone is bitter as you shift away from his side, giving you space so that you can properly process all of the information you’ve just been given.

“I don’t just feel much, I feel nothing at all.” Caleb says it with a self-deprecating humor, but you can only scoff as you push yourself off of the cot and stand in front of him.

“I meant what I said about making the Farspace Fleet pay.” You cross your arms and tilt your head to the side, giving him a serious look. “They can’t get away with everything that they’ve done to you and your comrades - hell Caleb, everything they’re doing right now!”

“How do you propose you do that, ____?” He laughs, but it’s not a happy sound as he grabs the back of your thighs and forces you closer, pulling you into his lap so that you straddle him. You tilt your head down so that you can avoid his eyes, and his chest rumbles at your action.

He tilts your chin up with his metal hand, and you shiver at the restrained strength in which he holds your face. His eyes are cold and his fingers twitch slightly. You should be scared, but somehow you aren’t. There’s a fire that ignites at your proximity, one that’s slowly beginning to spread along your entire body and makes your head spin at its ferocity.

“You can’t just burn the Farspace Fleet down.” It’s almost as if he can read your mind, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he gleaned those thoughts from just one look on your face. “I can’t tell you everything, ____ - but I promise you, things will get better for me, for us.”

That last word has you stilling and dropping your gaze so that you don’t have to look head on at him. You catch a quick glimpse of the silver against his chest, the words When U Come Back highlighted by the silvery light of the moon. Those words feel like a sick joke because the man you gave them to may be here physically - but he’s not really your Caleb.

You reach up to gently pull his metal hand off of your chin, and you can feel the burning of his gaze as you drop your mouth to his right shoulder. You feel his breath hitch when your lips meet the junction of skin and steel, his exhalation shaky when your tongue lightly flicks the slight divot. The taste of salty bitterness lays heavy in your mouth, and you pull away to look back up at his failing restraint.

“Did you feel that?” It’s rhetorical and you both know it from the way you’ve rendered him speechless. His lips form a thin line as your hands make their way up his torso, giving you an anchor as you stare into his eyes. “You say you can’t, but it’s clear that you do.”

Your fingers begin to draw circles on his shoulders, and you try your best to even your breathing so that he can’t see just how affected you are. You can’t afford to show any weakness, not in front of this imposter who wears your dead best friend’s face.

“I used to be able to read you so clearly.” It’s a whisper, and you let your forehead fall against his collarbone. “I used to know everything just from one look on your face. I hate that they took that from me.”

“Me wearing my heart on my sleeve and showing my weakness?” It’s meant to come out as a scoff, but you can hear the vulnerability in his tone.

“I was thinking more your honesty.” You feel his chest rise quickly, and you shake your head as you chuckle bitterly. “Of course you’d think it’s a weakness now.”

You bite your lip when you hear his hands leave the sheets, and your eyes slip shut when they settle on your waist. The chilling cold and comforting warmth serve as a reminder of the past you crave so much and the present you’re currently dealing with - the cold and calculated colonel versus your childhood best friend who scored himself onto your heart.

Time ticks slowly as he mulls over his response, and your breaths are shallow as you wait for his words. Above you, Caleb swallows thickly before settling on his carefully chosen words.

“I did it to protect you.”

You quietly suck in a breath, and it’s like even the air in the room has gone still at his quiet admission.

He takes your silence as your permission to continue with his reasoning. The words muffle when they reach your ears though - not because you’re not interested, but because you know it’s not true.

The Caleb you knew would never keep secrets from you. He would be honest, he would never stay away from you for as long as he did.

So why did he?

Are you a burden to him?

Your blood runs cold at the continuous stream of velvet sweetness streaming from his lips, and you shake your head as you push yourself up and away from his suffocating presence. “Bullshit.”

You feel Caleb’s chest stop, your expletive taking him by surprise. “____?”

“I call bullshit, Caleb Xia.”

It’s filled with venom and you clamber away, taking deep breaths and willing yourself to wake up from this suffocating nightmare. You focus your gaze on the single strand of raven hair that sways upright in the nighttime breeze because you know if you look into his eyes, you’ll crumble at his feet. “You didn’t do it for me, you did it to save yourself. Not once did you care for me-”

“That’s a lie and we both know that.” His words are just as harsh as he pushes himself up from the cot, and your eyes pass over his face as his height forces you to see every emotion dancing on his face. “____, I’ve been through the fucking ringer. You have no fucking idea what I had to do to get to this point, what I sacrificed just so I could reach the top all the while protecting my heart.” It comes out raw and his biting words soften at the last word, but you still roll your eyes as you cross your arms to protect yourself.

“So tell me what you did.” They’re quiet but lethally so, satin hiding the steel intent in your words. “Tell me the fucking truth, Caleb. Tell me every painful detail so that I can try to begin to understand you.”

You don’t realize it, but you walk forward until you’re stopped in front of him, back in his space. You hate yourself just a little bit for not being able to fully pull back, but you know deep down you can’t stay too far away from him anymore.

You’re afraid he’ll be taken from you from right under your fingers.

“And in return, I’ll try to tell you the excruciating hurt I went through mourning you and Gran.” Your voice wavers and you grip at your biceps, digging your nails into the muscle to steel yourself. “I’ll try to tell you how fucking awful it felt burying two empty caskets, standing at honor ceremonies, and staring up at my ceiling at night wondering if my dreams would be warm from the happy memories or from the fire that resulted from the blast. I’ll try to explain the emptiness I felt for the months after, because while you were here doing whatever you did to get to the top, I was left with the ghost of you.”

Your lip trembles and you unfold your arms, pressing your palms against your cheeks to furiously wipe away the tears that have begun to course down your face. The room stands still as your shoulders shake, and you can feel his heavy gaze on your head.

“I should have never gone here,” you whisper once your tears subside, leaving you with the bitter emptiness you’ve grown acquainted with. “At least you would’ve stayed dead, and I wouldn’t have grown to hate what you’ve become.”

You turn on your heels and spin around, trying to make your way out of the hidden room. You’re barely able to take two steps before you feel a cool brush against the back of your neck, and you gasp when his metal fingers grasp tightly at your shoulder.

“Repeat that last statement again.” His fingers tighten slightly as he walks in a direction, and a gasp escapes your lips at the sudden proximity and your back meeting a wall. His hand moves up so that his fingers can wrap around your neck, thumb tilting your chin up and forcing you to look at the Colonel standing in front of you as he presses down on the column of your throat just a little bit harder.

“I s-should have never gone h-here.” They leave in puffs, but you still force enough conviction to gain a harsher look in his eyes.

“And?” His voice is clipped, and a sudden pang of fear strikes your spine when you see the wires attached to the machine begin to rise: a sign of him losing his grip on his Evol. “I specifically remember something about hate.”

Your mouth runs dry and your eyes widen, taking in the implication of his words. Caleb laughs humorlessly at your reaction, his fingers slightly loosening and giving you a little taste of the clean air you didn’t realize you were craving.

“Tell me you hate me, ____.” The venomous words are juxstaposed by his gentle tone and his human hand reaching up and gently tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, his warm fingers squeezing your ear lobe and serving as a reminder that somewhere deep down, he’s still your Caleb. “Tell me you hate me, and I’ll let you leave. I’ll disappear for good. I’ll become the ghost you’ve always wanted.”

Your future hangs in a delicate balance as you process his words, turning over the possible options in your head. You’d grown used to living without him and Gran after the explosion. Life was dull, but you’d begun to move on. Staying here and letting him back in would undo the progress you’ve made - it would force you to confront ugly truths you’re not sure you’re ready to face.

But on the other hand…

You don’t think you can do the rest of your life without him. You need him like the air you breathe and the water you drink - he’s vital to your survival like the weapons you wield when you face Wanderers on the field. He’s an extension of you, a reminder of the life you’ve lived and the life that’s ahead of you.

But that life is meaningless without him…even if it’s this twisted, darker version of Caleb you barely know.

You’ve made up your mind.

“I hate you, Colonel Xia. I loathe you with every fiber of my being.” You barely gasp out the words before your arms wrap around his neck and pull him down, bringing his lips to yours.

His reaction is instantaneous, his hands cupping your cheeks and forcing your neck at a higher angle so that he can kiss you more deeply. His body presses yours against the wall, and he swallows the gasp that leaves your lips. It’s angry, full of bitter resentment from the past couple of weeks. His tongue sweeps across your bottom lip and you barely open your mouth wide enough before he forces himself in, tongues tangling before he ultimately wins the battle for dominance.

His hands shift, going from your cheeks to back down your neck before sliding down your back and cupping your hips. He squeezes the flesh and it has your head reeling, pulling away from his lips to gasp for air.

Your head falls back against the wall, and your chest heaves as you suck in air greedily into your lungs. Your fingers grasp his shoulders and you feel your stomach flip at the tortured groan that escapes his mouth, right before he pulls you in even closer to him and kisses you again.

It’s another battle for victory, and you win a point when your fingers reach up to pull at his hair. Caleb’s mouth falls even wider at the sensation and you use that timing to your advantage, allowing yourself to bite and suck at his bottom lip. He groans again, and the sound sends shivers down your spine and causes you to smirk against his mouth.

“What, tired already?” You can’t help the taunting tone that enters your voice, and he pulls away just enough so that you can see the steely resolve on his face.

“In your dreams,” Caleb retorts. His hands shift from your hips to your ass and you try to mask the whimper that nearly escapes you as an exhale, but you know he knows by the huff against your lips that you’ve failed.

He uses your daze to pull your hips even closer to his front, and your eyes roll back into your skull when you feel his rapidly hardening length in his slacks. “This is what you do to me, ____.” He grinds his hips against yours, and this time you can’t quite help the moan that leaves your lips. “You drive me fucking insane.”

You don’t even offer a retort, instead choosing to pull him back down again so that you can kiss him again. He willingly lets you, and you bite down on his lip hard when his palms squeeze at your ass. He taps two fingers against the flesh and your arms tighten around his neck, giving him the chance to slide his hands to the back of your thighs and wrapping your legs around his waist with ease.

Caleb walks out of his makeshift infirmary back into his living room, dodging furniture with ease as you press your lips against his jaw. You feel his chest rumble against yours as you begin to nip and suck blossoms under his chin, and his hands squeeze your ass in warning when you begin to mark up his neck.

You barely register that you’re in his (your?) bedroom until you land onto the bed on your back with a gasp. You bite your lip when you see Caleb kick off his slippers and socks before making his way over to the bed, grabbing your thighs and dragging you to the edge of the bed before letting his palms settle on your hips.

“You know that marking Skyhaven property is a punishable offense?” Caleb’s voice is a drawl as his fingers massage their way up your sides, dipping underneath your shirt and tracing circles that have your patience thinning. “You can be fined or jailed. Depends on the severity, though.”

“W-what does it matter?” Your voice leaves in a gasp as Caleb’s hands finally slide underneath your shirt, giving you the touch you so desperately crave.

“Think about it, pips.” Caleb pulls you up by your waist, and your head spins as he nudges your thighs apart with his knee. “What were you doing just now?”

“Caleb, what-” You can barely think as he guides your arms up, working your shirt over your head before tossing the garment somewhere in his room. He pushes you back down onto the bed, and you feel your eyes begin to close at the hazy, almost animalistic look in his own gaze. His hands pinch at your hips, though, and your eyes snap back open to meet his once again.

“Think, ____.” There’s an edge to his voice as his hands return to your waist, slowly making their way up to your ribcage. “What were you doing to me in the living room?”

You can barely think, mind clouding in need as his thumbs brush the underside of your bra cups. He skims the digits along the underside, letting his nails trace the lacy material - making you swallow thickly as you try to place your answer.

Your eyes catch the blossoming purple on his neck, and you finally put two and two together. “All because I gave you hickeys?”

“Good girl.” There’s a touch of humor in his voice, and he rewards you by sliding his thumbs underneath your bra and running the rough digits along the swell of your breasts. Your head lolls back at the stimulation, although annoyance flares in your stomach - mixing with the desire and lighting a savage flame in your body.

“That’s dumb as fuck.” It’s a moan, but you can feel his annoyance by the way his hands stop.

“Why is that?” Caleb’s hands make their way to your back, and you lift your torso so that he can struggle with your bra’s clasps. “I’m the Farspace Fleet’s colonel, ____. And my uniform’s gonna have a hard time covering the gifts you’ve given me, pips.”

“Because, Caleb,” you laugh when he fumbles with the clasps, and the irritation on his face gives way to a slight look of endearment that has your heart clenching. You make your heart calm down before you continue with faux confidence. “Because, you were mine first.”

His hands stop at your words, and you meet his eyes with unwavering honesty in response to his incredulous stare. “Pips, what-”

“You’ll always be mine.” Your hands tremble when you lift them to his face, but your touch is sure as you brush a strand of hair off of his forehead. “You’ll never be their property because they can’t take my Caleb away from me.”

The air in the room stills as he pulls his body away from yours, registering the weight of your words. You suddenly feel cold all over and you begin to shiver, although it’s not from the temperature of your current surroundings.

Why did you say that in your stupid, lustful daze?

And why do you suddenly feel nervous about his reaction?

Your eyes land on the hickeys your lips and teeth have left on his chest, the littered marks suddenly making you feel self conscious. What a stupid thing to do. Maybe you should stop-

You feel a sudden pressure on your torso as you’re forced back onto the bed, not realizing that you had pushed yourself up onto your forearms. You look up to see Caleb’s stormy eyes - lust and anger and another emotion you can’t quite place clouding his entire face. His palms land on your bra cups, and you can barely gasp in shock when he grips the lace and tears it clean off your body.

“Caleb!” Your annoyance is evident, and you look up at him with a thin press of your lips. “That was one of my favorite pairs-”

Your statement falls flat when he cups your bare breasts, and you gasp when you feel his thumbs roll against your nipples. He readjusts your body so that your hips are on the edge of the bed, and he lets his face fall into the crook of your neck.

“I’ll buy you a new pair.” There’s a new rawness in his voice, and you shiver when you feel his tongue flick at your earlobe. “I’ll buy you whatever the fuck you want, but it’ll be from me.”

His mouth moves down your neck, and you cry out when you feel his teeth catch your nipple. He flicks at the little bud with the tip of his tongue, and his metal hand begins to pinch and rub at the other, making you rub your hips against his as you gasp.

“You’re so fucking mine, ____.” Caleb’s mouth leaves your breast, and he places a soft kiss against the skin where your heart beats. “It’s you and me, pips.”

His tongue leaves a trail from your chest up to your neck, and he kisses your jaw before nudging your nose against his and letting his forehead fall against yours. “You’re not leaving, ever again.”

It’s a whispered promise, and your eyes flutter shut when your mouth meets his once again. While your first kiss was angry and turbulent, this one is sweet and seals his vow - a slow press of lips, a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, and a pace that builds the desperation that’s been festering in the pit of your stomach.

Caleb’s mouth begins to leave a feathery trail, slowly mapping a path from your chin and down the column of your throat. Your breathing stops when he reaches your chest, but he elects to pass your nipples entirely and continue his way down your stomach - finally reaching the skin that’s covered by your pants.

It feels like your nerves are going to ignite at any second - the fire that’s been slowly flickering about to consume you from the inside out. You feel his fingertips slide their way under the band of your pants and you don’t even need to think about it, you just lift your hips up so that he can pull the fabric off of your body.

Your eyes blink open at the sharp intake of his breath when he sees you in nothing but the lace panties that match the bra he tore off, and you fight the urge to reach up and cover yourself. Sure, Caleb’s seen you in a variety of ways since your shared childhood, but never in a way that’s been this…intimate.

He catches your gaze, and you can’t help but smile at the flush that’s painting his cheeks. You watch as he kneels in front of you, and you whimper when his hands land on your thighs and open them as wide as he pleases - allowing him to slot himself in between your legs

Your chest begins to rise and fall in much shallower breaths when his left hand reaches up to touch the little white bow at the center front of your underwear. He toys with the little bit of fabric, and a smirk grows on his lips as his metallic fingers squeeze your plush flesh. “These are cute, ____.”

“They matched the bra you ripped.” Your voice is serious, but you bite your bottom lip and look up at him with a coy smile. “How are you gonna make it up to me, Colonel Xia?”

His body stiffens at your words, and a new layer of frost enters the room as he looks down at you coolly. His hands finally toy with the waistband of your panties, fiddling and sliding the band up and down in a way that lets you know that you’ve made a mistake.

“Don’t call me that.” His voice is clipped, but you can’t find it in yourself to heed his warning when he finally drags the scrap of lace down your thighs. He doesn’t take it fully off, though - he instead elects to leave them halfway down your thighs.

“Why not?” There’s a humorous note to your tone, and you’re surprised to find that you enjoy the sight of him blushing and at a loss for words. You bend your knee and lift your leg just the tiniest bit, angling your ankle so that it barely brushes against the bulge that’s straining against the front of his pants. His fingers tremble against your sides as he chokes at the stimulation, and you giggle and let your leg fall back down. “Is something wrong, Colonel Caleb?”

It’s like something in him snaps.

All of a sudden, he’s pressing your hips down onto the bed, and you can barely move. You gasp as Caleb’s body goes, kneeling at the edge of the bed and moving his head dangerously close to your weeping core. Your body heats in embarrassment and you try to snap your legs shut, but before you can do so he’s grabbing your knees and placing them on his shoulders.

“Don’t. Move.” It’s an impossible command, especially since you can feel the way his hair brushes against your core. Your eyes flutter shut, but they snap back open when you feel him pinch your knee. “And keep your eyes on me, ____.”

Time slows as you feel his lips brush against your knee, a whisper that makes you think you dreamt the sensation. You’re brought back to the present when you feel his lips move closer to the place you want him most - featherlight kisses and brushes of his hair enough to drive you to madness, but not enough to push you to the end you so desperately crave.

Caleb’s lips stop at your inner thigh, right before the place you want him most. You try your best to follow his orders, but it’s near impossible. Your patience is hanging on by a thread, and you don’t know just how long you can keep following what he wants.

Caleb feels your thighs tremble underneath his metal palm, and you know he can feel your desperation at the rumble of his laughter as he stops his teasing. “What’s wrong, ____? Can’t wait anymore?”

“N-no,” you stutter out, trying to hide how affected you are by him. “I-i’m just-”

“Just what?” There’s a potent venom that’s disguised by the honeyed tone he injects into his voice. If you closed your eyes, you would almost believe that he was actually concerned. “Just wanting me?”

You don’t know why, but this sets you off in a way you didn’t know was possible. You buck your hips, and you let out a soft cry when your core just slightly meets his mouth. Your eyes slowly slip shut as you buck your hips again and again, craving and wanting and begging-

But suddenly, your hips stop.

Your eyes widen as you realize just what he did to you, and your stomach flips in equal parts fear and want as you look down and see the cold, calculated smirk playing at the edge of his lips.

“I told you not to move, ____.” Caleb’s Evol pins your body to the mattress, and he uses his hands to spread your thighs as far as they can go with your panties restraining you. “And to keep your eyes on me. And since you’ve failed at those two commands, well...”

His teeth bite down at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and you cry out as he sucks harshly. Caleb pulls away to examine the hickey he created to match the ones you made on his neck, and you can’t help but moan when you see the possessiveness in his gaze.

“Caleb, plea-” you begin, but the words die on your tongue when he stares at you with that cold, calculated stare he only gives to those under his command.

“How many times did you move your hips?”

“What?” You’re confused by his question.

“How. Many. Times?”

He presses his lips into your skin after every word, his tongue sucking on your flesh and leaving more marks on your skin. Your mind spins as you try to count, and your answer leaves in a clumsy breath: “Three? Why the fuck does it matter?”

He hums at your response, shaking his head and giving you a smirk. “Oh, ____. You’ll learn soon.”

It’s all the warning you get before his metal fingers meet your pussy, carelessly dragging them up against your slit. A strangled cry escapes your body when the stimulation finally registers in your mind, and you try to buck your hips up so that you can begin to chase your high.

You’ve forgotten about his Evol, however, so you’re forced to feel the molten sensation spreading across your body.

“You’re so impatient, baby.” There’s a whisper of a laugh in Caleb’s voice as he continues to slide his fingers against your pussy lips, avoiding the one spot you want him to press down on the most. “What happened to all the patience I taught you?”

“You taught me jack shit-” you try to snap, but it cuts off into a moan when you feel his fingers dip slightly into your sopping hole. You gnaw at your bottom lip and glare at him, but all he does is work his finger gently into your hole and give you a shit-eating grin.

“Mmm, that’s right ____,” he hums sweetly, slowly working in the cold digit. You try your best to hold his gaze, but the combination of how cold and thick his ring finger is has your eyelids slowly slipping shut.

All of a sudden, you feel his finger pushing deep inside of you, and you cry out and meet his gaze. Caleb’s lips continue to display a twisted grin as he slowly retracts his finger, and you can’t even do anything about it because your hips are held in place by his stupid Evol.

“Sorry, pips.” You can tell he’s not sorry at all, but your sarcastic reply is cut off by a moan when he pushes his finger back in slowly. “You’re just too easy to tease.”

“You’re such an ass.” You can barely breathe from the pleasure he gives you with just a single finger, and you know he can see it from the way your head shakes back and forth on his mattress and the sweat that begins to make your body glisten. You hear Caleb groan from between your thighs, and you lift your head as far as you can manage and whimper at the sight of him thrusting his metal finger in and out of your cunt while his warm palm squeezes your thigh harshly.

You feel the telltale sign of your orgasm beginning to build in the pit of your stomach and you cry out, frustrated at not being able to buck your hips up. You close your eyes and let your head flop back onto the mattress, and you let the feeling wash over your entire being. You can feel yourself get closer and closer and closer until-

-until it fucking stops.

“What the fuck?!” Your eyes snap open and you crane your head up in desperation, only to be greeted by Caleb’s pleased face. His amethyst gaze meets your own, and you can only watch as he brings his finger up to his lips and sucks your want off of the metal like it’s the water he needs to survive.

“Fuck, ____-” Caleb groans, and before you can even register what he’s done, he places both of his hands on your thighs and presses his mouth against your soaking cunt.

“C-caleb!” You cry out. Your hands immediately shoot out and you intertwine your fingers with his soft hair so that you have something to anchor yourself in reality. Caleb groans at the dull ache at his skull but instead of slowing down he speeds up - making the sensations he forces on your body that much more intense.

Caleb’s tongue carelessly traces lines up and down your slit, and you nearly sob in relief when you feel the tip of his tongue finally flick at your clit. He repeats the motion again, and he laughs when he sees the way your hole begins to leak with more of your slick.

“I didn’t know you were that desperate, pips.” Embarrassment flares in the pit of your stomach, although it’s quickly flushed away when he presses the flat of his tongue against your entire pussy and licks up in one, slow stroke.

“M-more, Caleb-” You try to fight the tears that threaten to slide down your cheek, but it’s hard when Caleb continues his ministrations on your cunt. It feels too damn good, and you both know that you’re rapidly reapproaching the climax he so rudely ruined the first time.

Caleb looks up at you, and he can’t help but groans against your cunt at the sight that greets him. Your face is covered in both a light sheen of sweat and tears, and in his twisted mind he wants to lick your cheek just so that he can taste every bit of you. His amethyst eyes go lower, pausing to stare at the way your breasts heave up and down with every breath, down and down until he’s greeted again by the sight of the cunt he’s had dreams about for years.

Your hole is fully leaking by now, begging to be stuffed full of his cock and your clit is swollen from his tongue playing with it. Up above, Caleb can hear you begging to just give you what you want and, well…how can he refuse his girl?

You nearly scream when you feel his lips wrap around your clit, sucking on the sensitive bud while he begins pistoning his fingers in and out of your sloppy cunt. Having gone from a gentle stream of pleasure to a full on tsunami, your brain doesn’t know what to focus on or what to do. You’re about to fall apart at the seams, so you do the only thing you know to do in this moment in time:

You cry out his name.

“Caleb!”

“That’s right, ____.” He commands in a soft yet dangerous voice. His fingers pick up their pace, and a strangled moan leaves your mouth. “I want you to scream, baby. There’s no one here but the two of us so you can be as loud as you fucking want.”

“Oh fuck-” you hiccup, and your fingers tighten against his hair. “Caleb, your Evol-”

“No.” You can feel his head shake his dissent, but it only adds to your pleasure because his lips rub your clit from side to side. He mumbles something under his breath, but you can’t really find it in yourself to care because you’re approaching your climax again and you desperately want to fall apart.

You try to be discreet in your chase, willing yourself to dig your nails into your palm so that he can’t see the way your hands shake. Caleb takes your silence as your plateau, so he doubles his efforts: pistoning his fingers in and out of your pussy and laving little licks on your clit in a bid to bring you to the precipice.

Caleb’s lips pull away from your swollen bud and you try to protest the action by squeezing your thighs shut but he replaces his tongue with his thumb, pressing and rubbing at the nub to placate you. He looks up at your eyes, and you can feel your false bravado crumble at the devilish grin on his face. “You’re awfully quiet up there, pips.”

A broken moan slips out of your mouth, followed by a gasp of his name. “C-caleb-”

“Are you close, baby?”

All of your pride leaves your body at his simple question, and you nod while giving him your sweetest eyes so that he takes pity on you and allows you to cum. “‘m c-close-”

“How close?” Caleb’s fingers gradually pick up their pace, a smooth push and pull in and out of your cunt. You whimper at the feeling, only to whine into the air when you feel his fingers hook up to press into your sweet spot.

“C-close,” you gasp. Your hands leave his hair and you press your palms against your breasts, gently pinching at your nipples so that you can finally push yourself over the edge. You’re so close, you’re about to fall off-

“Not yet.”

Caleb pulls his fingers away from your cunt and you nearly scream in frustration, attempting to close wrap your legs completely around his neck so that his mouth can finish the job. Caleb’s much quicker, however, and he carelessly pushes your knees off his shoulders before standing up and peering down at you with a pleased smile.

“Is my girl desperate?” Caleb’s presence is commanding, but you can’t help but watch his hands as he reaches down to unzip his slacks. “____, I’ve given you so much pleasure but you don’t seem to remember that I’m human too.”

Your breath stops as he pushes the fabric and his boxers down his thighs, and you swallow thickly at the sight of his cock slapping his abs. For all your years living with him when you were kids, you’ve always been mindful of his privacy and never walking in on him naked. Your stomach flips at the length and girth of him, because how in the world is he going to fit into you?

“I’ll make sure I fit.” It’s almost like he’s reading your thoughts, and you look up to see a tender look on his face in response to what’s probably an apprehensive look on your own. He kicks off his underwear and slacks before grabbing at your panties and pulling them down your legs. He releases his Evol on your hips, and you take this as a signal to push yourself up to his headboard while he drops the scrap of fabric onto the floor, and he crawls up the bed so that he can brace himself on his forearms and look down at you.

Caleb smiles softly at you - a far cry from the man who was edging you to the point of tears. Despite everything you smile back, gently nudging your nose with his and eliciting a chuckle from his mouth. He presses a kiss on your cheek and you sigh, taking his sweet action as a chance to reach down and wrapping your hands around his cock.

A strangled sound emerges from the depths of his chest and his head falls to your chest as you pump his length, wanting to give him a fraction of the pleasure you experienced. Caleb’s breathing slowly grows more laboured, but before you can fully achieve your goals he grabs at your hand and stops.

“Not yet,” he slowly grits out, and he pulls your hands off of his cock and pins them both to the headboard with his left hand. His right hand guides his cock to your pussy, and you gasp when you feel his fat tip catch your clit. “I decide when the both of us cum, ____.”

He rolls his hips and you both moan - him from how your slick coats his dick, and you from how his cockhead slightly catches your sopping hole. Your hips buck up so that he can slip inside, but before you can succeed you can feel the telltale weight of his Evol pinning the lower half of your body down and rendering you immobile.

“Fuck you, Caleb,” you grit out through your teeth, and you want nothing more than to bite his neck. He winks at you in response, and he lets go of your wrists before placing both hands on your waist and rubbing comforting circles on your ribcage.

“I’m getting to that,” he jokes, and before you can offer a scathing response he slowly pushes his cock into your cunt. You gasp at the initial pressure of his tip breaching your entrance, but the gasp turns into a long drawn moan the more he forces his thick length - up until he bottoms out, and his balls hit the swell of your ass.

You can barely breathe in your current position - legs spread, his gravity Evol pinning you down to the bed, and your hands gripping the headboard like it’s your last lifeline to your sanity - and maybe it is.

It feels like the knot building in the pit of your stomach could snap at any moment - and Caleb knows it most of all.

“Tell me you want it, ____.” Your eyes flutter back into your skull as he rolls his hips. His cock hits deep inside of you, and a strangled breath makes its way out of your chest when he pulls back slowly.

“C-caleb-!” It’s a plea, and you try to fight against his Evol so that you can link your ankles against the small of his back and pull him closer into your cunt. “P-please-”

“Uh-uh.” It’s annoyingly patient as his left hand reaches out to brush your hair away from your sweaty forehead. His right hand drifts closer to your mound, and you cry out when his cool fingers roll one agonizingly slow circle onto your clit. “Beg, ____.”

You don’t know how, but your stupid pride has you biting your lip as you try to fight his Evol so that you can writhe on his mattress. Your head flips back in frustration, and you can only force out a small, teary “Fuck you.”

“Aren’t I already doing that?” Your pussy flutters at the smirk on his face, and a slight dose of satisfaction fills your chest at the choked moan he forces back, although you’re annoyed at how cocky he still looks. “Beg, ____.”

“No.” You’re proud at how your voice doesn’t waver, although that quickly goes away when you feel his hips pull back more until only his tip remains inside. “W-wait-”

“You know what I’m asking for, ____.” Caleb’s tone is deceptively sweet as he begins to rub circles on your clit, making you cry out in the painful pleasure. “Beg for my cock, and I’ll make you feel so fucking good you’ll want to stay here forever.”

“F-fuck!” You can feel your climax beginning to build again, rising from the plateau he had previously created with your two denied orgasms. Your eyes fall shut and tears escape as your head writhes on his pillow - body held still by his Evol so that you’re forced to feel every bit of pleasure he wreaks onto your body.

Caleb’s hips threaten to snap forward, but he forces himself still as he takes in the view of you underneath his body, barely speared on his cock but already delirious on the pleasure. It fills him with a sick sense of satisfaction - the fearless leader and daring Hunter reduced to a little cockslut writhing on only the tip of his dick. He has half a mind to pull out just so that he can make you sob from the emptiness, but he holds back and continues to rub little circles on your clit until you break.

“C’mon, ____.” It almost sounds teasing, and you sob when you feel yourself on the edge of the precipice - just about to fall off. “Say you want me.”

You’re deliriously out of your mind, and all pride leaves your body when you open your eyes and look at the face that has haunted you in your sleep for the past couple of months. “P-please Caleb! Please make m-me cum-”

“Fuck,” he swears, and you barely register him releasing his gravity hold on your body before he grips your knees and forces them on his shoulders once again, pressing his cock all the way in and hitting your sweet spot in one fell swoop.

“S-shit, Caleb!” It’s a scream as you cum, your eyes sliding shut. Your orgasm washes over your body and consumes you from the inside out, and all you can do is dig your nails into his shoulders to anchor you in the present. Caleb can barely hold himself together when he feels your release pelt at his thighs and balls, and he groans before gripping your calves tighter and drilling himself into your cunt.

“You’re such a slut, ____,” he rumbles as he angles your body up, pistoning his hips so that he can more easily reach your deepest spot. “You came just from me pushing my cock into your pussy? I thought you had more restraint than that.”

“C-caleb.” You’re sobbing at this point, the pleasure bordering pain. “Oh fuck, Caleb-”

He leans down and presses his mouth against your breasts, biting as he continues to thrust in and out of you. His lips create a trail of marks up the column of your neck until they press against your lips. Your mouth falls open easily, and he breathes harshly as your tongue grazes his.

“Look at what I’ve reduced the top Hunter to,” Caleb murmurs with gentle poison. He plants kisses all over your face, and the sweet gesture almost makes you forget that he’s ravaging you. “The sweetest little cockslut who only knows how to scream my name.”

Your only response is to cry out even louder, your hands sliding down and finding purchase on his broad back. Your nails dig into the muscle so that you can try and keep from spiraling deeper into your pleasure, and you’re rewarded with a groan against your mouth.

Caleb’s hips slow to a torturous pace, designed to make you feel every inch of him sliding in and out. Your walls tremble around his aching length and you whimper when he pushes in one final time and stops, letting the both of you catch your breath. Your head swims in your current position - you’re so unbelievably full of his cock, but you want more.

“Caleb.” You can’t hide the desperation in your voice, and your hips tilt just the tiniest bit so that you can feel a fraction of the pleasure he gave you. “I-I wanna c-cum again, please-”

You roll your hips more boldly this time, and he gasps when his tip hits your sweet spot. Your walls flutter and you squeal, your head falling back as you continue to grind yourself on his cock.

All of a sudden, you feel the heaviness of his Evol settle on your hips once more, forcing you to stop. You cry out and try to fight it, but the cool brush of metal on your chin forces you to open your eyes and look up.

And you find your blood running cold.

Because Caleb - oh, you can tell he’s mad.

His lips are straight, and you can tell that he’s holding himself back for the sole purpose of punishing you. His hips pull back until he’s fully unsheathed from your cunt, and you sob at the way your walls clench pathetically at the sudden emptiness.

You need him.

There’s a dark chuckle above you, and you know he can see the desperation on your face. There’s a wet plap!, and you register the sound of his dick slapping against your pussy before feeling it properly. You cry out again, and Caleb takes your open mouth as an opportunity to slap his cock against your cunt again.

He continues his action over and over until you find yourself at the edge again, begging for his cock deep in your pussy. You can barely make out the babbles escaping your mouth - not when you feel so fucking good and you want more.

All of a sudden he stops, and you feel his warm hand gently cupping your cheek. Your eyes open blearily, and you can see the concern on his face as he looks down at you. “You okay, ____?”

Your heart squeezes at the care on his face, and you turn your head so that you can press a kiss against his palm. You can hear his shaky gasp above you, and you look back at him with a small smile on your lips.

“‘’ okay.” It comes out as a slurred whine, and you look up at him imploringly. “I promise, I j-just feel too good.”

He laughs at this, and his head dips down so that he can kiss the skin of your throat. His lips make their way past your chin and all the way up to your lips, where he presses the softest kiss on your mouth that has you melting.

This is your Caleb.

This is the man you love.

You don’t want to say it, though. You don’t want to shatter the illusion.

So you kiss him back slowly, and you pull away before he can deepen your kiss so that you can whisper:

“Please Caleb, I want all of you.”

There’s a standstill as he processes your words, and he doesn’t give you time to think before his Evol is lifting once more so that he can arch your chest up to meet his. Caleb’s mouth presses against your lips once more, and you gasp as you feel his cock entering you once more - giving you exactly what you need.

There are no other sounds in your shared room besides your gasps and the sound of the headboard smacking against your wall. It feels like it’s just you and Caleb - and that’s exactly how you want it to stay.

Caleb grunts as he begins to deepen his thrusts, and he takes a chance to look down at you when he sees that your eyes are closed. His heart swells in his chest at the sight of you - marks on your neck and chest, sweat making your skin glisten, and feeling so good because of him.

He’s suddenly overwhelmed by all of this - all of you. The one he loves more than the entire world, the one he’s kept carefully locked away in the deepest recesses of his memories. He’s adding all of this to that special place. Every excruciating moment spent at the Farspace Fleet is worth it because he’s protecting his love - protecting you.

Caleb leans down, pressing kisses on your lips as he gradually speeds up again. “I’m gonna cum inside this pretty cunt, stuff you full of my cum and make you mine forever.” Each word is emphasized by a messy thrust, and you can barely register what he means because you just feel too good right now. “I’m going to take care of you f-forever, ____. It’ll j-just be us two, baby, f-fuck-”

His hips start to stutter and you cry out when you feel his metal fingers land on your clit, rubbing hard circles and driving you closer and closer to your edge. His warm hand makes its way to your hand, and you squeeze his fingers tightly when your palms meet so that you have something to hold on to when you give yourself completely to him.

“Let’s cum together, ____.” It’s a plea and you both moan when his tip batters at your cervix. His Evol on your body loosens and you immediately grind your hips up to meet his thrusts, making the both of you spiral closer towards your joined end.

“C-caleb,” you hiccup, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “‘M-m, I’m about to cu-”

“It’s okay, you can cum.” He leans down and presses his lips against your forehead, pressing soft kisses while maintaining his pace so that you can fall off the edge safely. “Cum for me, baby.”

With his permission you finally allow yourself to fall, the knot in your stomach unraveling as you cum. It’s not as painful as the first time - this one is filled with more warmth, accompanied by Caleb’s mouth peppering doting kisses all over your face. You cry out at the duality of his sweet kisses and his hard thrusts, walls fluttering around his thick cock and begging for him to meet you at the end.

Caleb grits his teeth and continues to pump himself into your inviting heat as you writhe underneath him, feeling his hips stutter and his balls tighten at the sound of your sweet gasps and your fluttering walls around him. He brings your fingers up to his mouth and presses reverent kisses on each of your fingertips before bringing your palm to his lips and kissing the skin gently. The sweet gesture makes your eyes open, and you blearily look at him with a blissful haze.

“C-cum for me, Caleb.” It’s a soft command, one that makes him groan as your legs wrap around his waist to pull him in. “I want your cum in me, please Caleb.”

“Oh shit, ____-” He thrusts his cock into you one more time before stilling, his head falling onto your neck as he cums. You whine at the feeling of warmth, your walls weakly pulsing around his cock in an attempt to take all of him. His hands settle on your hips and he squeezes like his life depends on it, and you’re sure that you’ll leave bruises on the delicate skin.

You can’t find it in yourself to care, though. You want all of it.

His head lifts up from your neck, and you can’t help but giggle at the glassy look in his eyes. Your fingers move to push up the sweaty strands away from his forehead, but he catches your hands and pulls it toward his mouth.

You watch as he repeats the same tender action of kissing your fingertips, and your heart aches at the intimacy of it all.

“Are you the Farspace Fleet Colonel or Caleb Xia?”

Your question breaches through the content silence, and you hate that you have to say it. It’s something necessary though - a summary of everything that’s happened between the two of you, and his answer will determine how things go.

Caleb looks at you, a softness in his eyes that has your heart aching. He presses a kiss on your forehead, and he nudges your nose against his own before finally giving you his answer

“I’m both.” You gasp at his words, but his hands gently knead your waist and placate you. “I’m both, and it’s our reality now.”

He kisses your eyelids this time, and you feel your eyes water at the gentle intimacy. “I don’t know how I’ll make it up to you, ____. But I mean what I said. Everything I do is to protect you. I don’t know how, but I’ll make it up to you for as long as you want me to.”

His words taper off as he lets you mull over his meaning. You lips brush over his own, and he leaves a chaste kiss - leading you to come up with your response.

“You can start by cooking breakfast for me tomorrow.” The words are softened by your sleepy tone, and you hum in content at the gentle rumble of his laughter below you. “And by telling me what you remember from the start.”

“I promise.” He seals it with a kiss on your lips, and you smile sleepily at the tender action before you nuzzle yourself into his chest - letting yourself surrender to slumber.

a/n #2: i hope you enjoyed <3 pls leave your thoughts here!

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