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solxamber · 3 months ago

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Fairytales and Fever Dreams - Vil Schoenheit x reader

When you decide to beg a fairy for help at your lowest point, you didn't expect that he'd decide to help you— at the cost of you making skincare for him.

You’re a mage at the academy, and life has officially declared war on you. Seriously. You’re about this close to having a full-on breakdown, the kind where they find you cackling in the library while surrounded by half-finished spell scrolls. One more minor inconvenience and you swear, you’re going to walk out onto the quad, set fire to the herbology building, and just stand there, staring blankly as it burns, sipping tea.

And why? Because you have four—count them—four finals on the same day. You don’t know who pissed in the universe’s cereal, but apparently, you’re the one paying for it.

"Okay, it’s fine," you mutter to yourself while chewing on the end of a quill. "You just need one little miracle. Just a small one. Like, I don’t know, a meteor wiping out the school. Or the headmaster spontaneously combusting. Something normal like that."

But then, you remember the rumor—the kind of rumor people whisper about when they’re this close to a mental collapse. Oh yes, the whispered tale of the fairies in the forest at the edge of town. Supposedly, if you bring an offering to the fairies, they’ll grant you a wish. Any wish. No strings attached.

You snort. It’s probably a load of magical nonsense. But considering your current state of sleep deprivation (and let’s be honest, mild hysteria), you’re willing to give it a shot. Desperate times and all that.

So, you scrape together the fanciest honey and milk your student budget can manage, which is probably a 5/10 by fairy standards but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. You pack it up in a basket like some weird, broke Little Red Riding Hood and trudge out to the forest.

The second you arrive, you’re not even trying to be subtle or respectful about it. No, you go straight to begging.

“Please, fairies, PLEASE!” You fall to your knees dramatically, waving the basket around like you’re presenting some holy relic. “I’m begging you. I need help. I haven’t slept in three days, I’m running on a liter of coffee and sheer spite, and if I fail one more class, I’m gonna have to turn myself into a toad and live under a rock. Just—just one wish, that’s all I’m asking!”

It’s bad. Like, so bad, you’re half-expecting some animal to come along and put you out of your misery out of sheer secondhand embarrassment.

But then, there’s this rustling sound behind you, and when you look up, someone is standing there.

Correction: the prettiest person you’ve ever seen is standing there.

He’s tall, ethereal, and glowing—literally glowing, like he bathes in moonlight and stardust. His hair’s all silky and perfect, his skin looks like it’s never heard of acne, and the expression on his face tells you that he’s about two seconds away from calling security on you.

“Why, exactly,” he starts, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow that could cut glass, “are you kneeling in front of my forest and making this embarrassing display?”

You blink. Several things occur to you all at once:

1. Fairies are real. Huh. You thought you were just being insane.

2. Holy hell, he’s the most beautiful person (fairy?) you’ve ever seen.

3. Wait—his forest?

You quickly wipe the pathetic tears from your face and stumble to your feet. “A-are you… a fairy?”

“No, I’m a sentient dust bunny,” he deadpans. “Yes, of course, I’m a fairy. What are you even doing here?”

You hesitate. He’s giving off serious annoyed model on a runway vibes, and you’re not sure if he’s going to hex you out of his forest or just roll his eyes so hard that you get flung into another dimension.

“I, uh… finals,” you mumble, the tears starting to well up again. “Four finals. Same day. And I haven’t slept. I’m one failed exam away from permanently turning into a raccoon.”

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose like your existence is just too much for him. “And you thought the best course of action was to come here and… grovel?”

You nod pathetically. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

For a moment, he looks like he’s about to just walk away, leaving you to your breakdown. But then his eyes narrow, and he points at your backpack. “What’s that?”

“Huh?” You look down and see the sunscreen bottle sticking out. “Oh, uh, that’s just something I made. I’ve been working on a skincare formula for sensitive skin.”

He steps closer, plucking it from your bag with the grace of someone used to handling priceless artifacts. “Skincare, you say?” He opens it, sniffing it cautiously before dabbing a bit onto the back of his hand. His eyes light up for a second, and you swear you hear an angelic choir in the background. “Hm. Not bad. A bit of a lavender undertone. Smooth texture. SPF 50?”

You nod. “Y-yeah.”

He looks back at you, and for the first time since he appeared, you see the barest hint of approval on his face. “It’s hard to find good skincare products these days, even among the fairies.”

You’re not sure how to respond. Is this your life now? Trading finals survival for skincare tips with a beautiful fairy?

“Well,” he says, still admiring the product, “I suppose I could grant you one wish. One. But only if you agree to make more of these skincare products for me.”

“Really?” You blink, not entirely believing your luck. “You’ll help me?”

He gives you a sidelong glance, a smirk playing on his lips. “I don’t do charity. But your skincare is adequate. And it’s not every day I meet someone this close to unraveling. It’s almost entertaining.”

You stare at him, mouth hanging open like a fish. “Deal. Deal. I’ll make you whatever skincare you want, just get me through these finals.”

He gives a nod, satisfied. “Then we have a deal.”

And just like that, you’ve somehow bartered your way out of academic doom with a fairy obsessed with sun protection. Let’s hope this arrangement works out better than the rest of your life so far.

Apparently, fairies like Vil don’t believe in things like cheating or, you know, the basic decency of using magic to fix your problems instantly. No, that would be too easy. And Vil—your very pretty, very exasperating new fairy overlord—has decided that the best way to help you pass your finals is to tutor you personally.

His price? One skincare product per lesson. And you, being surprisingly decent at making potions and cosmetics (alchemy major, what else), agreed because, at the time, you thought, How hard could it be?

Sweet summer child. You had no idea what you were getting into.

Because Vil? He’s not just strict. He’s villain origin story strict. His “tutoring” is so intense, so grueling, that you’re starting to wonder if he’s secretly training you for some kind of sadistic mage boot camp. At one point, you fail a poison-brewing technique, and he makes you redo it. Then again. And again. And again.

By the fifteenth attempt, you’re seriously contemplating bottling the poison and taking a little sip just to see what happens.

“Again,” Vil says, his voice icily calm, like he hasn’t just been watching you fail for an hour straight.

“I think I’m seeing stars,” you mutter, staring at the cauldron. “Should potions be giving me a near-death experience?”

“Focus,” he says, completely unfazed by your descent into madness. “If you can’t even get this basic potion right, I have serious concerns about your competency as a mage.”

You’re on the verge of a mental breakdown. One more failed attempt, and you’re going to throw yourself off the nearest cliff. Or better yet—turn yourself into a toad and hop into a pot of boiling water. Anything to escape the relentless perfectionism of Vil Schoenheit.

“Maybe I’ll just hex myself into a mushroom and live out the rest of my life in peace,” you grumble under your breath as you stir the potion yet again.

“ What was that?”

“Nothing!” You stir faster.

To your utter shock, the potion finally turns the right color. You’ve done it. You’ve successfully brewed the poison, and it only took, what, half your lifespan?

Vil inspects it with a critical eye, and after a long, painful pause, he says, “Acceptable.”

“Acceptable?!” You want to scream. This is the culmination of blood, sweat, tears, and the remnants of your sanity, and all he has to say is acceptable?

“Yes, acceptable,” Vil repeats, as if your suffering isn’t the most amusing thing he’s seen all week. “You’ll need to refine your technique, of course, but this will suffice for now.”

You groan, head in your hands. “I’m going to transmute myself into a sock and live in someone’s laundry basket.”

But here’s the kicker: despite all of Vil’s strictness, he’s actually the nicest person (fairy?) you’ve ever met. You don’t know if that’s pathetic or straight-up depressing, but still, it’s true. He’s picky, yes, but he cares.

Apparently, Vil has a radar for poor life choices because one day, after what feels like your 57th failed poison attempt, he takes one look at the sad pile of instant noodles and energy drinks cluttering your desk and clicks his tongue in disapproval.

"You've been eating this?" He gestures at the disaster that is your meal—a cup of ramen sitting next to an open bag of questionable chips. His expression could curdle milk. "Do you actually value your internal organs, or are you trying to audition for the role of a trash panda?"

You blink, staring at your gourmet spread, and then back at him. "Excuse me, I’ll have you know, this is an advanced student diet. We run on caffeine and MSG."

He raises an eyebrow. "You’re not running on anything. You’re sputtering at best."

You open your mouth to argue, but then glance down at the pathetic excuse for food in front of you. Okay. Fine. Maybe you are sputtering. But what are you supposed to do, handcraft five-course meals between four finals and Vil’s poison-torture sessions?

Vil sighs dramatically, as if your very existence is a personal affront. "I’m not letting you continue this… self-destruction. You’re going to eat real food even if it kills you." He waves a hand, and suddenly a basket of the most beautiful, vibrant fruits and vegetables you've ever seen appears out of thin air. It's like the entire organic section of a high-end grocery store, but, you know, without the soul-crushing price tags.

"Where did you even get all this?" you ask, poking suspiciously at a particularly shiny apple. "Did you steal it from some enchanted Whole Foods?"

Vil glares at you like you’ve personally insulted his lineage. "I foraged it from my forest, you uncultured turnip."

You blink. "I’m a potato now, and a turnip? What’s next? Are we making a root vegetable salad?"

Vil rolls his eyes. "No, we’re making something that doesn’t resemble a cry for help. Get to it."

You sigh, but with Vil watching like a disapproving food critic, you figure you might as well try to impress him. You rummage through the basket, grab a few ingredients, and somehow manage to throw together a halfway decent stir-fry. You may be broke, but you can cook. It’s one of the few things that hasn't gone completely sideways in your life.

You serve it up with a flourish, smirking a little. "Voilà, a proper meal. Happy now?"

Vil inspects the plate with his usual level of judgment. You half-expect him to whip out a magnifying glass and start searching for flaws. Finally, he takes a bite, chews thoughtfully, and then gives you a rare, grudging nod of approval.

"Surprisingly competent for someone who survives on garbage," he says, in what you can only assume is Vil’s version of high praise.

"Wow, a compliment. I feel blessed," you deadpan, but you’re grinning. It’s not every day you get validation from a fairy with standards so high he probably judges oxygen.

Vil continues eating, and you join him, secretly proud of the fact that you managed to cook something that didn’t send him into a rant about toxins and poor life choices. For a moment, the two of you sit in companionable silence, just… eating. It’s weirdly nice.

After you both finish, Vil leans back, looking mildly satisfied. "If you continue to feed yourself like a proper human being," he says, "you might actually survive your finals."

"Yeah, well, if I keep spending time with you, I might also survive on sheer fear," you mutter.

He smiles, that rare, dazzling smile that makes your brain short-circuit for a moment. "Fear is a good motivator. But I expect more than just survival from you. I expect excellence."

You groan. "You know, for a fairy who showed up because of my embarrassing begging, you sure do expect a lot."

Vil just smirks. "You begged for help. I’m making sure you don’t embarrass yourself further by failing."

"Touché," you admit, stuffing another bite of food into your mouth to avoid further conversation.

You know, maybe being insulted by the prettiest fairy in existence while eating fresh, organic food isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to you.

But soon enough, it was back to work. After the food debacle, you whipped up a fresh batch of moisturizer for him. It’s something you’ve done a thousand times before, so you’re not expecting much.

Then Vil tries it. And his entire face lights up like you’ve just handed him the elixir of eternal youth.

“This is… impressive,” he says, his voice soft with genuine surprise. “It’s incredibly hydrating, and the texture is—” He pauses, then flashes you a smile that’s so dazzling, it practically sparkles. “You’ve outdone yourself.”

And then, out of nowhere, he leans over and kisses you on the cheek.

You freeze.

Your brain flatlines.

“Wha—Did you just—?”

Vil pulls back, completely unfazed by the fact that he just KISSED YOU. “If you continue to make products of this quality, I may have to keep you around longer.”

Your heart is still trying to restart, but you manage to nod. “Yeah… yeah, sure. Skincare. I can do that.”

You stare at him, wondering if this is real life or if you’ve just died and gone to some bizarre, fairy-run skincare hell. Because if that’s what’s happening, it’s starting to feel weirdly okay. Especially with the way he’s smiling at you.

And as you walk away, still reeling, you catch yourself thinking, Is dropping out of the academy to become Vil’s personal skincare maker really such a bad idea?

Honestly? With a smile like that? You’re starting to think it’s the best idea.

You’ve finally survived—ahem mastered—the hell that was poisons and advanced magical theory under Vil’s terrifyingly perfect supervision. You can now confidently brew lethal concoctions and analyze obscure spells without mentally cursing out every deity you can name. That’s progress. But of course, your next subject is Magical Beasts, and because life apparently hates you, it’s your worst one yet.

When you express this to Vil, expecting some helpful advice or perhaps even a break (hah, wishful thinking), he just waves a hand dismissively.

“I’ll ask a friend for help,” he says simply.

And that’s how you end up in the presence of the most extra fairy you’ve ever seen in your life. (Okay, you’ve met a grand total of two fairies, but still.)

The fairy in question bursts into your study room in a whirlwind of sparkles and sheer chaos, trailing a cloud of rose petals and the distinct scent of overly expensive perfume. He’s tall and elegant, his wings shimmering with iridescent hues, and before you can so much as blink, he’s speaking a mile a minute in a mix of French and pure gibberish.

“Mon cher! Quelle horreur! This room is an insult to aesthetics! Non, non, I simply cannot work in these conditions!” he cries dramatically, gesturing wildly at your meticulously organized notes.

You blink. “…What?”

But he’s already prancing around, rearranging your books and scattering glitter like some kind of deranged fairy godmother. Then, with zero transition, Rook starts rambling about magical beasts and their habitats in a way that has your head spinning. One minute he’s critiquing your choice of ink color (“Black? How dull!”), and the next he’s rattling off obscure beast facts with the enthusiasm of a caffeinated professor.

“The Hippogriff prefers moonlight baths! Ah, and the Knarl must be serenaded with music, or it will—how you say?—stab you!” he chirps, waving his delicate hands around in a way that seems more dangerous than helpful.

You’re sitting there, bewildered and slightly concerned for your sanity. “Wait, wait, wait, so—hold up, what do I do if a Knarl shows up in the daytime?”

Rook stares at you like you’ve just asked if water is wet. “Why, you run, of course!” Then he bursts into laughter, as if this is the funniest joke he’s ever heard.

By the end of the afternoon, you’ve lost count of the number of strange and sometimes horrifying tidbits he’s thrown at you. You’re pretty sure you’ve somehow become an expert in magical beast theory without consciously realizing it, and the sheer absurdity of the situation is enough to make you feel like your brain’s been hijacked.

“And that,” the fairy declares with a dramatic twirl, “is how you tame a Chimaera!”

You blink, staring at your notes, which are now a colorful mess of drawings, beast diagrams, and snippets of what you hope are actual instructions and not just fashion advice. “…I feel like I’ve learned a lot. But also absolutely nothing.”

“Perfect!” he crows. “You have done magnifique!”

Before you can process what the heck just happened, you decide to thank him the only way you know how: by giving him a small, beautifully-packaged vial of a custom serum. You’ve worked hard on this formula, combining the best of alchemy and skincare magic, and as soon as you hand it to him, his eyes go wide.

“Pour moi? C’est incroyable!” He clutches it dramatically to his chest, as if you’ve just gifted him a crown jewel. Then, without warning, he’s leaning in way too close, inspecting your face with an intensity that borders on obsessive. “Mon Dieu, you are a true artiste! So beautiful! So—”

“Excuse me,” a low, frosty voice cuts in.

You turn just in time to see Vil gliding over, expression smooth but eyes narrowed. With the grace of a professional diplomat (or maybe a particularly possessive cat), he slips between the two of you, placing a firm hand on the other fairy’s shoulder and gently guiding him away from your personal space.

“Thank you for your assistance, Rook,” Vil says with a polite smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “We appreciate your expertise, but I believe that’s enough for today.”

Rook pouts but finally relents. He throws one last, longing glance at your serum and then at you, as if you’re both equally captivating. “Ah, c’est dommage… I shall return!” With that, he flits off, leaving you standing there, more confused than ever.

You turn to Vil, raising an eyebrow. “Uh… thanks?”

But Vil isn’t looking at you like a savior. No, he’s looking at you like you’ve just betrayed his entire bloodline.

“Excuse me,” you ask, blinking in confusion. “Did… did I do something wrong?”

“You,” Vil says slowly, his voice dangerously soft, “are my skincare human.”

You stare at him. “Um. What?”

“Mine.” Vil’s gaze flickers pointedly between you and the direction Rook flew off in, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I did not agree to share your talents with anyone else.”

Oh. Oh.

“Vil,” you say, a grin spreading across your face despite yourself. “Are you… jealous?”

The way his expression shifts from imperious to indignant would almost be funny if it weren’t so incredibly satisfying. “Jealous?” he scoffs, tossing his hair back with a haughty flick. “Don’t be absurd.”

You glance pointedly at the pink tips of his ears, which are steadily darkening into a bright red.

“Riiight,” you say slowly. “Totally not jealous at all. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m not,” he insists, crossing his arms, but his voice is just a fraction too defensive.

“Sure, sure,” you say with a mock-serious nod, fighting to keep a straight face. “It’s just that, you know, your ears are kind of giving you away.”

Vil sputters, shooting you a glare that could melt glass. “You—!”

“I’m just saying!” you chirp, smirking as you lean back. “I’m your skincare human. Got it, boss.”

He narrows his eyes, but the flush on his ears betrays him. “Remember it,” he huffs, turning sharply on his heel. “And don’t you dare give away my products to anyone else without consulting me first.”

You watch him stalk off, your grin widening. Maybe studying under Vil isn’t so bad after all.

Finally, your last subject: Offensive Magic. You’re almost at the finish line, but there’s one little problem. Apparently, dueling Vil or Rook is a fast track to the afterlife, and you aren’t too keen on becoming a cautionary tale.

That’s how you find yourself facing off against the youngest of the bunch—a fairy named Epel. He looks as thrilled to be there as you are, which is to say, not at all.

“Vil made me do this,” he mutters under his breath, glaring at nothing in particular.

You quickly realize that Epel’s main emotion is mild resentment, which honestly? Relatable.

The duel begins, and you’re expecting something simple—maybe some low-level spells, something to pad out your barely passing grades. But then Epel smirks, lifts his hand, and suddenly, half the field explodes in a brilliant display of magic that has you rethinking your life choices. Like, seriously reconsidering everything that led you to this exact moment.

You’re left standing there, jaw practically on the floor as bits of dirt rain down around you. “Holy shit,” you breathe. “You’re so cool.”

Epel freezes. His eyes dart to you, clearly shocked by the praise, and he suddenly looks a lot less surly. “...Really?”

“Yeah! That was amazing! I didn’t even know you could do that!”

He rubs the back of his neck, trying to hide a smile. “Well, I’ve been practicing…”

And just like that, you’re friends. Bonded over the mutual understanding that Offensive Magic is both terrifying and awesome when Epel’s involved.

Later that day, after a lesson where you actually didn’t almost explode yourself (personal growth!), you, Vil, and Epel are lounging in the forest. Rook’s off doing...whatever mysterious thing he does, leaving you all in relative peace. You’re casually chatting about the lessons when Epel, totally offhandedly, drops the biggest bomb of the century.

“Yeah, well, you’re pretty lucky the king of the fairies decided to help you out.”

You blink. “The what?”

Epel gives you a look like you’ve just asked if the moon was real. “The king of the fairies. You know, Vil.”

You almost choke. “Vil’s the king of the fairies?” Your voice cracks like you’ve hit puberty again.

Vil, lounging nearby, doesn’t even flinch. “Didn’t I mention that?”

“NO. YOU DIDN’T.”

“Well, now you know.”

You stare at him, mind reeling. “I’ve been—wait—what in the Sevens—you’re the king of the fairies? And you just—casually tutor people? Like it’s no big deal?!”

Vil sighs, flipping through a book as if this is the most normal thing in the world. “I thought it was obvious.”

“It was not obvious!” You’re flailing at this point, and Epel is snickering behind his hand, clearly enjoying your existential crisis.

Vil’s still cool as a cucumber, but when you stammer, “No wonder you’re the most beautiful fairy I’ve ever seen,” you catch the faintest flicker of a smirk on his face. He straightens up just a little bit, clearly preening at the compliment.

Rook suddenly appears out of nowhere, laughing like he’s just witnessed the funniest thing in his life. “Ah! How charming! Our humble little mage finally sees the light!”

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumble, feeling your face heat up. “This is too much. My brain can’t handle this.”

The lesson ends, and you decide to thank Vil the only way you know how—by crafting him a night cream as a parting gift. You’ve gotten pretty good at making skincare, and you can tell he’s been eyeing this particular blend.

But then, in a rare moment of what can only be described as vulnerability, Vil hands you the jar and says, “Could you…apply it for me?”

You freeze. “Huh?”

He’s holding it out to you, but he’s not meeting your eyes, and—wait, are his hands shaking? You squint. Is he nervous?

Nah. Can’t be. Vil doesn’t do nervous.

“Sure,” you say, trying not to overthink it. You take the jar and start gently massaging the cream into his flawless skin. Vil closes his eyes, and for a moment, it’s almost…peaceful.

“You’re really good at this,” he murmurs.

You smile to yourself, oblivious to the emotional storm brewing inside him. “Thanks! I’ve been practicing.”

What you don’t realize is that this was your last lesson. Vil knows this. And for some reason, it’s hitting him hard. He’s spent all this time tutoring you, teaching you everything he knows, and now…you won’t need him anymore. You won’t come back. You’ll pass your exams and move on with your life, leaving him behind. And the thought of that—it stings more than he wants to admit.

Meanwhile, you’re completely unaware of his inner turmoil, humming to yourself as you finish applying the cream. “There you go. All set!”

You stretch, packing up your things, already mentally planning your next skincare batch for him. “Well, I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Wait.” Vil’s voice is soft, almost hesitant. You blink as he suddenly pulls you into a hug, catching you completely off guard.

“Uh…Vil?”

He’s holding you tightly, and when he speaks, his voice is a little sad. “Good luck.”

You frown, confused. “Why do you sound so sad? I'll pass my exams for sure after all your help.”

He doesn’t respond. You shrug and hug him back, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Alright, see you later, drama king.”

And with that, you stroll off, leaving Vil standing there, still holding on to the weight of his unspoken feelings.

Rook, watching from a distance, smiles knowingly. “Ah, how bittersweet…”

Epel just rolls his eyes. “Man, this is like watching a soap opera.”

You passed your exams. Scratch that—you topped them. You’re basically an academic legend now, leaving everyone wondering what kind of ancient god you made a pact with. The professors are whispering your name like you’re some ancient prodigy who’s been secretly acing exams since the dawn of time.

Naturally, you’ve decided to celebrate by making your magnum opus: the most legendary lip balm the world has ever seen. The kind of balm that could revive a dying star, or, more realistically, soothe the chapped lips of a certain fussy fairy.

With your glorious lip balm in hand, you set off to the forest to see Vil. The path is familiar, and yet, today something feels... off. The trees look droopy, the flowers are wilting—like someone forgot to water this whole section of the forest.

“Oh, great,” you mutter, stepping over a vine that looks like it’s given up on life. “Did everyone just forget what hydration is?”

When you reach Vil’s cottage, your gut instinct kicks into overdrive.

Something’s wrong. Really wrong. Your heart is racing. You knock once. Twice. Still nothing. Panic sets in, and before you know it, you’re knocking the door clean off its hinges in your haste.

“Oops,” you whisper, but there’s no time to dwell on it because you see someone on the bed. It’s Vil, and he’s looking about as far from his usual flawless self as you’ve ever seen. He’s feverish, pale, and frankly, it kind of looks like he's dying.

“Vil!” you rush over, shaking him gently. He opens his eyes, squinting at you like you’re an overly bright light in the middle of his fever dream.

“I didn’t know hallucinations could be so vivid,” he mumbles, his voice hoarse.

“What hallucinations? I’m real!” You’re practically crying now, shaking him harder. He just smiles faintly, completely convinced that you’re some fever-induced mirage.

Fantastic. Not only is he sick, but he also thinks you’re a figment of his imagination.

Frantically, you start brewing a cooling potion, your hands shaking as you mix the ingredients. Vil just watches you with a dazed, slightly amused expression, like he’s impressed that his hallucination has such a good grasp on potion-making.

“I’m real,” you repeat, as you pour the potion down his throat. He gives a tiny nod before slipping back into unconsciousness.

Cue full-on panic mode. You don’t know what’s happening or why Vil’s like this, so you do the only thing you can think of—you send a carrier pigeon to Rook, because of course fairies don’t have phones.

Rook shows up in record time, practically gliding into the cottage like some kind of majestic hunting bird. He takes one look at the pitiful scene—Vil feverish and weak, you hovering like an anxious mother hen—and smiles.

“Oh, he’s heartbroken,” Rook declares, as if that explains everything.

“Heartbroken?!” you echo, disbelief dripping from every syllable. “I saw him two days ago, and he was fine. How could he be heartbroken in two days?!”

“Ah,” Rook says, his eyes twinkling with dramatic flair, “fairies can only fall in love once, and when they do, they fall hard. He thought you wouldn’t return after your exams. He was suffering in silence, believing you’d move on without him.”

You stare at Rook, dumbfounded. “Is he blind?!” You throw your hands in the air. “I’ve been horrendously in love with him since day one! How could he not notice?”

Rook just beams at you, like you’ve confirmed his favorite romantic theory. “Ah, l’amour. So tragic, yet so beautiful.”

At this point, you’re ready to throw your hands up in frustration. How does Vil not notice? You’ve been making him skincare products, practically living in his cottage, and hovering over him like a lovesick puppy. Could he really think you were just going to leave? But of course, Vil—being Vil—had assumed you’d outgrow him and move on to something better, leaving him behind like a discarded serum bottle.

With renewed determination, you take care of Vil, nursing him back to health with potions and plenty of water. You even manage to coax him to eat something other than the fairy equivalent of air-dried kale. Slowly, he starts looking more like himself, his fever fading and his color returning. But when he finally wakes up, fully lucid, his eyes widen in shock.

“You... you’re real?” he whispers, staring at you like you’re some miraculous vision.

“Yes, I’m real,” you huff, crossing your arms. “And I made this.” You pull out the lip balm you’ve been working on, your prized creation. You swipe some on your lips and then lean down to kiss him.

Vil blinks, stunned into silence. After a moment, a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “That’s... a surprisingly effective balm.”

You grin, feeling the tension melt away. “Maybe you should test it again.”

Vil wastes no time, pulling you in for another kiss, his lips soft and cool from the balm. He kisses you a second time, then a third—because, well, it’s important to make sure the balm has long-lasting effects, right?

But then, you pull back slightly, the grin slipping from your face. “Vil, I... I passed all my exams. I even got an offer to move to the capital.”

Vil’s entire body tenses. His hands, still resting on your waist, tighten slightly as his eyes flicker with something you can’t quite place—fear? Dread? Whatever it is, it’s like a storm cloud settling over him.

“Oh.” His voice is soft, but there’s a weight to it, like he’s bracing himself for the inevitable. “I see.”

You can feel the tension in his body, the way he’s holding himself so carefully, as if preparing for you to tell him you’re leaving. That you’re going to take the offer and disappear from his life, just like he feared. He’s already trying to let you go, even as his hands tremble slightly against your waist. It hits you all at once—how terrified he must have been, thinking you’d leave him behind.

For a moment, you just watch him, your heart aching at the sight of his barely concealed distress. And then, finally, you say, “I declined the offer.”

Vil’s breath catches. His eyes snap up to yours, wide with disbelief. “You... you what?”

You smile, leaning in closer. “I declined. I’m not going anywhere, Vil. In fact...” You take a deep breath, your grin widening. “I’m opening a skincare shop right here, on the edge of the forest. And I’m going to live here. With you. No arguments.”

For a moment, Vil just stares at you, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. Then, slowly, the tension in his body dissolves, replaced by pure, unfiltered relief. His hands, which had been shaking moments ago, steady as they pull you closer, wrapping you in a tight embrace.

“You’re staying?” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

“I’m staying,” you confirm, your heart swelling at the way he’s holding you, like he’s afraid to let go.

Vil presses his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as he takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I love you,” he murmurs, his voice so soft, you almost miss it.

Your heart skips a beat. You smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you too, drama king.”

Vil huffs out a small, breathy laugh, pulling you down into the bed with him, his arms wrapped securely around you. For a moment, everything is still, peaceful, as you lie there together, tangled in each other’s arms. Neither of you says a word, content just to hold each other, the weight of the past few days finally lifting.

And as you drift off to sleep, you can’t help but feel a sense of warmth, knowing that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be—by Vil’s side, where you’ve always belonged.

I'm so deeply in love with this man it's kinda embarrassing

Masterlist

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #vil schoenheit x reader #vil schoenheit x you #vil x reader #vil schoenheit #vil #twst vil #twst vil x reader

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kaiserouo · 7 days ago

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[arthur | eleanor]

im tagging the hex appeared in the post because it's getting way too long

oh yeah i forgot i didn't know about that

that... answered a lot of questions, about other hex too. i think the only one i don't know why he's here is amir

---

i kinda want to choose the first option but now i am extremely intrigued

...okay, im not surprised she hasn't grown a tail, but i AM surprised she's answering me, like that.

huh. also i actually don't know how they do that in ANY culture. but the first option is boring so

HUH. im so glad i chose that

oh. that ended quick. also interesting you're asking for female specifically *eyeing lettie*

okay i kinda get what you mean by power imbalances. i guess the existence of orokins kinda begs the question too

i kinda get it but i just don't have any good examples rn

wait i fear that i don't even know why she wanna have this conversation in the first place

we are having a lot of interesting conversations today. also did the "power imbalance" you mentioned actually means "is able to stop you when you are tonguing someone but the tongue is sharp and can open a hole in one's chest" and the "female" part is actually you?

okay

yeah i kinda get the thought process.

---

holy shit im broke

when was the last time you have more plat than credits hollars

#warframe #warframe 1999 #warframe spoilers #ramble

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iamnotdeadyet · 4 months ago

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Falling to Temptation |Pt.1

Priest! Gojo x Succubus! Reader

|°•°°•°•°|

After a long day of administering the sacrament, teaching and overall assisting in missionary work as the Father of his holy church, Gojo had taken a seat in his rectory, reading a book in his hands about the many kinds of religion.

You, however, were watching him from Hell, it wasn’t sure what your intentions or thoughts were of Gojo. But all you know for sure: You enjoy stoic men, and he was exactly that.

You were fascinated by how he can keep his head high with his expression unchangingly neutral. He was one cold man that isn’t easily swayed by others nor his own emotion. You wanted to drive his gears, to absolutely gain the objectory of pissing this man off. It exhilarated you.

So you decide to summon to where he is, of course.

A low chuckle could be heard in the room as all candles and lights were turned off. Then a clawed hand presses on his thigh.

He feels the sudden presence, his eyes flickering up from the book, his gaze piercing through you with an icy stare. He doesn't react, not moving a muscle, his hand continues to hold the book, his finger marking the page before setting it down on a table. He wasn't going to give you the satisfaction of a reaction.

He arches a brow, not breaking eye contact with you, his hypnotizing blue eyes not giving nothing away.

"Oh, you're spoiling me with your silence, Priest.~" a sultry voice whispers in his ear. His Adams apple bobs as he gulps, feeling hot everywhere.

Gojo's expression hardens slightly, his jaw clenching, but he maintains his composure. He speaks in a low, calm voice, "I am a man of God, not a plaything. I suggest you remove your hand."

"Oh no, whatever shall I do?~" your tone is mocking as you trace a finger down to his crotch before resting your palm on it.

Gojo's breath hitches slightly as your hand makes contact with his crotch, his muscles tensing. He tries to maintain his composure, but his voice cracks slightly as he speaks, "I-I warned you once, now I'm telling you again. Remove. Your. Hand."

A low sinister chuckle vibrates through the room before he finds his limbs locked to where they were resting. A spell, a hex of some sort.

"You should've made your move first."

Gojo's body goes rigid with the threat, his face contorted in a mix of frustration and anger. His eyes bore into yours, filled with unspoken words and unsaid threats.

His eyes flash with anger, but he's powerless to do anything as you slowly unbuckle his belt, unbutton his pants, and lower his zipper. His breathing grows heavier, his chest rising and falling rapidly. "Don't." You only grin at his poor attempt at making you back down.

His body trembles as you reach into his pants and pull out his cock your touch sending a jolt of electricity through him. He tries to resist, but he's completely under your control. His eyes are filled with shame and humiliation, but also a spark of desire.

"Such a pretty sight, aren't ya, Priest?" You exclaim after ruining his hair and cutting his cheek with one of your sharp claws. As Gojo watched the small amount of blood that oozed out he almost missed how your thumb went to press on his tip, circling the slit. Almost.

He grits his teeth, his face turning red. He struggles against the spell, but it's no use. Gojo can only watch as you admire his helpless state, his cock standing at attention-the tip red and leaking precum-despite his efforts to resist. "Shut up...you...wicked demon..."

You laugh and pout, faking offense. "Awe~ Come on, dont act like that... You're hurting my feelings!~" Still pouting, you wrap your hand around his shaft, giving it a good squeeze and enjoying the whimper that falls from Gojo's lips.

His head falls back, a low groan escaping his lips as you start moving your hand up and down, finding all the sensitive veins. He tries to speak, but the words catch in his throat, replaced by a sharp gasp. His body shudders, and he can feel himself slipping further and further under your spell. "Stop..." he mutters weakly, not knowing if he meant it or not himself.

"Feelin' a lil doubtful aren't we, Priest?~" you find yourself speeding your hand and easing the spell just to hear the sinful but oh so beautiful whimpers fall from his lips.

His breathing grows ragged, his face contorted in a mask of shame and pleasure. He tries to hold back, to resist the sensation, but it's no use. His body betrays him, his hips bucking forward to meet your touch. "Please...stop..." "I can't...ngh!"

"What's wrong, Priest? Begging already?" You weren't complaining though, that much was clear.

He lets out a strangled cry, his eyes rolling back in his head as you suck his balls. "Haah...hnnngh!!~" Your tongue was doing an expert job, licking and swirling around them. His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper as he struggles to remember verses from the Bible he once vowed not to break. "I...am...the...priest...of...the...holy...church...I will not...bend...to... Ah!~ Fuuckkk!!"

The chuckle that leaves you was almost breathless as you drink in the view before you. The once stoic priest turned to putty in your hands. Snow white hair disheveled, marvelous blue eyes pricked with tears, lips parted open with moans and whines coming out as if he were singing them to you.

You lean your head down, pulling his foreskin down to reveal the swollen, burning red tip of his aching cock, and then taking it into your mouth. His self control ebbed away with each touch your tongue left on him and Gojo could feel his cock throb. A whimper escaped his lips as he glanced down and he swore he could cum right then and there.

You were playing with your clit, slick dripping down on the floor as your tail thrusted in and out you. As you take him into your mouth, his hands ball into fists and all words of protest he had earlier faded away, leaving him a blabbering mess.

"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseeeee!!~ 'm so close! Fuuuuckkk...ooh, right thERe!!"

He was big, veiny and the girth made your jaw ache. You struggled to put him whole in your mouth but when his tip hit the back of your throat and your nose was being tickled by his pubic hair, you felt satisfied with your work. Your head was a blur, moving in an inhumane speed and only then did Gojo's facade break completely.

Broken moans and loud, pitiful whimpers left his mouth everytime your throat constricted around him while you gagged. His eyes rolled back into his head, lips pursued then opened again in a silent scream as he shut his eyes tight. Embarrassingly soon, you felt warm spurts of cum in your throat and you pulled back, letting them fall on your tongue and breasts. The holy man was reduced to a panting, whimpering mess at only your mouth.

His gaze follows the movement of your hand as it wraps around his softening cock, his eyes wide as he watches you swallow his cum. A shudder runs through him, and he buries his face in one of his hands, his voice muffled as he speaks. "Fuck...fuck, fuck, fuck...what have you done to me?"

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I wanted to do this a two-part bc its too long so...enjoy!!♥︎

iamnotdeadyet owns this

#gojo smut #jjk #gojo #gojo x fem! reader #gojo x fem reader #gojo x reader smut #gojo x y/n #gojo x female reader #gojo x f!reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu gojo #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen #Spotify

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applebuttercringe · 1 month ago

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Arcane Episode 6 Immediate Thoughts

Spoilers

-Give me the doomed Jayvik content, I'm ready. Jayce is an off the wall murderer hell bent on destroying Arcane and Viktor is the new Herald of the Arcane.

-Viktor is a full on magical girl transformation dimension. The floating and glowing, start patterns, glowing hair.

-Huh

-So Viktor is straight up God?

-This Caitlyn training scene is dope

-OOOH they're gonna go to Viktor to cure Vander. Thats a cool way to tie all these stories together. I wonder if any of them will recognize Viktor. Did Caitlyn or Jayce tell Vi about him?

-Look at Jinx's face, she does not give a fuck about Vi and Hucks stand off.

-Man the council didn't know shit, Viktor should have been in charge this whole time.

-Man Jayce is gonna show up and destroy it. 🥺

-HAHAHAHAHA VIKTOR IS SO JESUS, the long hair, the robe, the staff.

-Viktor has his original eye color in the Hexcore universe.

-cookie

-Even Jinx knows Viktor is a straight up snack.

-Fortune cookies are canon? What Americanized Chinese food restaraunt is Jinx going to? Is there a Panda Express in Zaun?

-Viktors Steel Oasis is realized

-Oh hey it's the kind of plant that he experimented on the hexcore with

-So is this real Sky and we were all wrong in thinking the Hexcore was just using her image?

-Does this take several days? How long is it taking Jayce to come to the undercity? He seemed in a hurry when we last saw him.

-I don't care if these animatic style visuals are the result of a mismanaged budget. Arcane's 2d music video style visuals are so good when you aren't being told they are just for cost saving.

-"We"

-This is nice, this is what I wanted for Thor and Loki

-Singed has a Vander tracking compass. Like the Vampire compass in Vampire Diaries.

-Does Caitlyn know the Herald is Viktor? How will she react?

-Ooh the Singed-Viktor reunion!

-Why is Viktors voice more metallic than before?

-"Evolution has a destination" I mean technically no, you're a scientist Viktor c'mon. Thats a common misconception.

-GLORIOUS EVOLUTION MENTIONED

-And he had the voice distortion when he said it, this is the desire of the Hexcore not of him?

-Is Viktor dating a ghost?

-OH DAMN, the Caitvi reunion is a violent one. Not looking good for the Caitvi stans, or the future of this ship. They're doing a Catradora.

-Caitlyn is a dictator who is offended by being called a mongoose, and by her ex-gfs new style. Be glad she didn't get bangs Caitlyn.

-"Cupcake"

-Ambessa eating an entire raw meat hunk with her hands.

-Oh damn, the betrayal.

-HOLY SHIT JAYCE, ITS HAPPENING, IM NOT READY!

-The music, is this the start of the inevitable end of a three episode arc music montage fight scene that cuts between the plot points while a pop-rock song plays?

-SPIT ON HER

-Oh no, this is the sweet conversation that happens to make everything happy so they can rip it away by killing one of the characters isn't it? Is Isha gonna die soon?

-OH, the Caitvi reveal! Caitlyn did a good! Nice. All it took was to be in her ex-gfs presence one more time and she completely flipped. Poor Maddie.

-The blind fold is kinda kinky tbh

-is Caitlyn gonna see Jayce? Will they talk? Has Caitlyn seen Viktor?

-Now Jayce has a leg brace, my how the turn tables. I little ableist maybe that a leg brace is used to show who is powerless in the dynamic but still.

-I wish we knew more about what Jayce went through, or how long the time skip is, to have context. C'mon writers what was it?

-Once again Jayce is about to nuke a child with the Hex Hammer

-Is Jayce gonna come be healed?!

-The come to Jesus music when he goes to meet Viktor.

-Viktor is the Avatar, or a Jedi

-Caitlyn will be saved by Jinx! Will this cause another snap change in her alignment. Who knows!

-Its honestly shocking this is the first time someone has tried just grabbing her uber long hair in a fight.

-JAYCE NUKED VIKTOR!

-IS HE DEAD! MY BLORBO! JAYCE YOU BITCH!

-UNREAL

-Vander is crying lava?

-No Viktor Jayce is the reason your commune failed.

-Jinx crying on the floor after being struck by a loved one like when she was a child.

-Aw this is cute

-Isha better not die, don't you dare show. Don't you DARE.

-They did!

-They killed Viktor and Isha in one episode, Now Caitlyn is just chill with both Vi and Jinx, why. Awful. How dare they. First genuinely bad episode.

Final thoughts: AAAAAAAAAH! I'm actually mad. They killed Isha, they killed Viktor. Both in dumb and unnessecary ways. Jayce's motivations have not been explored in any depth or meaningful way this season which would justify the story move. I was fully ready to call this a flawed but good show till the second half of this episode. I think this arc release will genuinely divide the fandom. Beginning of the end. Oof. Sorry boys. Arcane is Fumbled.

Let me in the writers room, I just wanna talk.

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 2 months ago

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Who's the Black Heart?

(SPOILERS!)

Ok Agatha all along theory time, because there was a moment in ep 6 that opened up the mystery of who the black heart on the list of names for the coven really represented, a mystery that I think we had all thought was already solved. But during ep 6 Billy's boyfriend, Eddie, sends him a message saying 'you're my 🖤'. So now there have been three characters who could potentially be the person behind the black heart on the coven list, Sharon who in wandavision was identified, along with her husband, as a black heart on the calendar and whose alias was Mrs Hart, Rio who tells Agatha that she has a black heart and that it beats for her and now Billy. So which one is the black heart that lilia put on the list and who was meant to be part of the coven?

Well my theory is that the answer is actually all three of them, here's my reasoning. When Lilia gives Agatha the list she says 'here's a list of four names, looks like you've got your coven' and as the audience we assume the four names are Jen, Lilia, Alice and whoever the black heart is. But I went back and looked at that moment again and noticed something:

Agatha's name is also on the list. So the four names are Agatha, Lilia, Jen and Alice, which are the four names that we see written here. The black heart is not seen as it's out of shot.

So whilst we at first assume the coven is meant to be made up of five witches, Agatha and the four names, I actually think the coven is meant to be made up of seven. After all 7 as a number is meant to hold magical significance. Part of the reason why 7 is considered a magical number is because it combines the holy trinity and the 4 elements bringing together the earthly and the divine.

Which brings me to the ballad because within the ballad there is the line 'darkest power, wake thy power, earthly and divine' in the first verse. Which I think could be a clue that there is supposed to be 7 members of the coven. As I said above the number 7 is also connected to the 4 elements which are also mentioned in the first verse of the ballad, in the line right before, 'Gather sisters fire, water, earth and air.'

Now the holy trinity, the other half of the magical number 7, isn't mentioned in the ballad, however the maiden, mother, crone is and this particular trinity you could argue is a witches version of the holy trinity, there is that moment when they are on the broomsticks and Billy is saying oh God repeatedly and Lilia tells him to try praying to the divine mother, which could indicate that the maiden, mother, crone trinity holds the same significance to witches as the holy trinity does to those of the Christian religion.

Another thing that is interesting is that in the second verse three more figures are mentioned, you have the lines 'I hold Death's hand in mine', 'Familiar by thy side' and 'Spirit as our guide.'

So I actually think that the four elements represent Lilia as air, Jen as water, Alice as fire and Sharon as earth. Now I know what you might be thinking, but Sharon isn't a witch let alone a green witch, Rio is the green witch. And true, but I think that's where the twist is going to come in, we all think this but we know that Sharon was good with plants, when Agatha approaches her to invite her she is gardening and Agatha comments on the garden and I feel like there was a point to that as opposed to it being a throw away line. Also Agatha mentions that within a three mile radius there will be a collection of witchy enough people to form a coven and I think Sharon is one of these witchy enough persons, she may not be a full on witch but there's enough magic about her for her to be included within the coven. As to what may give her some magical quality it could be something as simple as she has an ancestor way way back that was a witch so she's kind of a blood witch but it was so far back now that she doesn't possess any obvious magical abilities. Another possibility, though, is Wanda's hex. This idea of the hex changing people in a magical kind of way has been explored before. When in the hex Ralph Bohner was able to use super speed, passing through the hex gave Monica Rambeau powers and being created in the hex meant Billy and Tommy also had powers, Billy's powers as we have seen continued after the hex was gone as did Monica's. So maybe Sharon was left with just the smallest hint of magic due to the time she spent in Wanda's hex, again not necessarily enough to give her full blown magical powers but just enough to count her as part of the coven. Maybe she became extra skilled at gardening and plants etc in a slightly magical kind of way if I am making sense there. That could also be what Agatha meant when they were digging a grave for Sharon and she said 'I didn't know you had it in you.' Maybe Agatha realised that there was something at least a little magical about Sharon.

Ok so if those four are the elements who are the three figures mentioned in the second verse. Well I think death is actually Rio, I mentioned in my ep 4/5 review that I think Rio may either get her powers from people dying by like absorbing their souls or that she could be a grim reaper type figure based on some of the things she and Agatha have said. I think they are trying to trick us with Rio being a green witch, after all there is some cross over between earth and death, you know burial, returning to the earth and all that, I also do think that there is a connection between Sharon and Rio and they are supposed to mirror each other and we are supposed to connect them so that we are kept confused about who is really represented by what. Sharon did die and ended up in the earth, rio came out of that grave, rio is a green witch but Sharon also has something of a green thumb etc.

When it comes to who the familiar is supposed to be I think it's pretty obvious, the only person we've seen referred to as a familiar is Billy and he has been addressed this way on multiple occasions. Familiars are also considered to be spirits or supernatural beings which does kind of fit with Billy as he is technically a soul or spirit that took over a vessel.

The spirit I think might be in reference to Agatha. Episode 5 covered the spirit trial and that was agatha's trial, it seemed she has the ability to commune with spirits. As rio said who better to commune with the dead than someone whose put so many in the ground.

Going back to the trinity though I think Billy, Agatha and Rio are also meant to represent the maiden, mother and crone. Maiden could be representing youth and innocence, Billy is obviously the youngest of the group and when he started the journey on the road had that youthful innocence about him. Agatha would represent the mother, we know that she had a son but we have also seen her show a motherly concern and protection towards Billy, then Rio would represent the crone, old age and death, the end of life etc, although it isn't confirmed that she is the oldest, most ancient of the group from the way she said she was the green witch as opposed to a green witch makes me think she was the original.

Another reason why I think the list actually included all seven of the characters as members of the cove , is because each of them have taken part in the trials on the road and I feel like if any of them truly wasn't part of the coven that wouldn't have been allowed. We know the road has rules and that it has ways of making you follow them, like agatha's wine refilling, the house always appearing in front of them and being forced back down to the road when on the broomsticks. So I think the rule is everyone who is a part of the coven at that time, unless they die, has to take part in the trial some way. Even when it comes to opening the door to the road I feel like it wouldn't have worked if Sharon didn't have something magical about her and if she wasn't supposed to be part of the coven. She also takes part in the first trail. But Billy also technically takes part in the trials, including the first one even though he didn't drink the wine, he still took part in helping make the potion and his blood was used in the potion. Which if you think about it, if Billy hadn't been there and the rules were everyone in the coven has to drink that would have made the trial impossible to pass, as there wouldn't have been anyone to give the blood of the unpoisoned. So whilst we were all thinking that Billy didn't need to drink because he wasn't part of the coven and the glass kept refilling because not everyone in the coven had drunk it, I actually think that the truth is the rules were everyone but one member had to drink the wine, the glass kept refilling because too many members of the coven hadn't drunk the wine. Hoping that makes sense. I think there would always have been one less glass available than there were members of the coven, irregardless of whether Billy the underage teen was there or not. Rio also takes part in some of the trails as well after Sharon dies, so all of them have taken part in some way.

So basically tldr is there are supposed to be seven members of the coven, the four earthly elements, Lilia, Jen, Alice and Sharon and then the trinity Billy, Agatha and Rio. The list of four names was Agatha, Lilia, Jen and Alice and the black heart represented the three as of yet unknown members of the coven, Sharon, Rio and Billy. I mean I could be totally wrong about all of this but it makes sense in my head, I do think there are more layers and double meanings to some of the lines in the ballad like the spirit guide could also be Sharon's and/or Alice's spirit coming back in the future etc, but I've already written an essay so I think I will leave it there for now.

#agatha all along #agatha all along spoilers #agatha harkness #billy maximoff #rio vidal #lilia calderu #jennifer kale #alice wu gulliver #sharon davis #mrs hart

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gavillain · 2 months ago

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AGATHA EPISODE SIX SPOILER DISCUSSION; HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A GOOD EPISODE!!!!

A LOT happened in this episode, and we got a LOT of answers!

I'm really glad we got Billy Kaplan/Billy Maximoff's full backstory here at the midway point, and I really enjoy the way this episode bridged the gap between WandaVision and Agatha All Along. I'm just really excited to see Billy's story getting adapted here in general too. Obviously it's a bit different from the comics, but they kept a lot of the core ideas of it in tact. And I'm super happy to see that they explicitly kept his Jewishness in tact as well given the MCU's unfortunate habit of erasing or neglecting Jewish identities. We find out here that Billy Maximoff's spirit is inhabiting the body of Billy Kaplan, who died in a car accident the day the Hex came down. We also find out that Lilia was the one who put the sigil on Billy after reading his palm and seeing his broken life line (I was surprised but I thought that reveal was very satisfying). We find out that Billy's boyfriend's name is Eddie, so he's not Teddy Altman and thus probably not Hulkling, which I personally never really thought but other people were theorizing.

Oh and RALPH BOEHNER RETURNS!!!! :D Honestly, I didn't think I would care, but my boyfriend and I went WILD when we saw him pop up. A+ callback right there :D And I like him being the one to sort of facilitate Billy going to Westview after Agatha. After how little he did in WandaVision post-reveal that he wasn't Pietro, it was nice to see him get a bit more relevance again in the overarching plot.

Agatha pulls herself out of the mud and survives, and I also really loved how Agatha wasn't mad or vengeful towards Billy. She was legitimately excited to see him and know who he was. Their relationship is one of the most interesting parts of the show, so I'm glad to see that it's not totally being burned to the ground. Obviously, Billy is fully in the right not to trust Agatha, but we're now at a juncture where the two of them are going to be more open and honest with each other, and that has me excited! We just saw Agatha last episode prove why she is still very much a villain, but we also saw that Billy has a bit of a dark side in him too. I think we're gonna see Billy be torn between good and evil as the show goes forward and deciding what type of witch he wants to be, with Agatha being the proverbial devil on his shoulder. I made the comparison a few weeks back about Agatha and Billy being Maleficent and Riku from Kingdom Hearts in another font, and that seems to be the direction we're heading, which excites me.

Theory wise, there's not a whole lot of new theories for me at least, other than the ones continuing from previous episodes, but I do have a few more scattered thoughts: *Eddie uses the black heart emoji for Billy, so does that mean HE was the black heart that Lilia wrote on the list instead of Rio? If so, it's kind of weird that HE would be a "black heart" in any way. But also this still has me thinking that Blackheart may yet be involved. Not as Rio (who we pretty much know is Death due to leaks), but maybe somewhere else? I dunno, I'm not giving up hope that he or Mephisto are involved, even if it's just as an after credits scene.

*BILLY HAVING A BLACK CAULDRON POSTER IN HIS ROOM MADE ME SO FRIGGIN' HAPPY! To see Disney acknowledging that movie always warms my heart, but to know that Billy is a fan in this universe is REALLY cool and gives me a sort of kinship with him. Love to the underloved!

*Rio is still MIA since Alice died. Is she still tending to Alice or is she doing something else?

*Lilia and Jen aren't dead, and we know as much, but they didn't escape the bog with Agatha, so I'm wondering if the next trial will see the get out or maybe see them waiting there for Agatha and Billy.

*Billy is apparently on the road to find Tommy, which makes a lot of sense. I know people are upset that he's not after Wanda, but I genuinely don't think Wanda's return to the MCU was ever going to be in another TV show. I think, if Wanda returns, it's going to be in Avengers Doomsday, much like her return in the comics during Children's Crusade. But I'm excited to see if Tommy DOES return in this show or if Billy's ambitions are going to remain unresolved at the end of the road. I'm excited to find out!

NEXT EPISODE WITH SPEED PLEASE! I have a MIGHTY need to see Billy in that Maleficent cosplay in what I assume is the next trial… yes, I am, as ever, myself XD

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #agatha all along spoilers #billy kaplan #billy maximoff

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grigori77 · 1 month ago

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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 114

Wow, yeah, that was LOUD! Matt's right, they're just RARING to go right now ...

A time capsule, Sam? Really? Oh gods Sam, no ... PLEASE don't evoke the cursed memory of the Cats movie, you know not what you do ... Sam: "Robbie, you have a line." Robbie: "No I don't! No I ... wow, you guys looked really young in 2019!" Sam: "And we still do!" Yeah ... definitely ... Sam really has let this one devolve into chaos, hasn't he? Dear gods ... I always say this mighty be their worst ad yet, but I think this one might be the blue ribbon baby ...

Marisha: "It's making your lips BLUE!!!" O.O

Laura: "Speaklng of Critmas ... did we talk about that?" Ashley: "I don't know!"

Oh my fucking gods there's an ACTUAL Tusk Love BOOK coming out? Holy cow ... O.O Ashley: "It better be smutty!" Indeed!

That's a good point ... how IS the wedding gonna work if they DIE?!!!

Ooooooooooh ... nervous, nervous ... so nervous! This could go SO BAD!!! I'm so anxious, guys!

First look at the Battlmap for this session ... and it's a MONSTER ... holy fuck this is SO FUCKING INTIMIDATING ... this is where it's all gonna kick off, then ...

Holy Aura? Okay ... so that's going on for EVERYBODY, then? Oh, that's a nice package, indeed ... but also DEFINITELY not subtle either ... hmmm ... but it's not gonna last, either ... better make it count, guys!

Oh, yeah ... smart, maybe hold off on that for a little break to get their shit in order first ... nice thinking, Liam.

No Orb in sight? Hmmmmm ... good or bad? Should we be concerned about that?

Yes. Keyleth's voice would be VERY LOW AND GRAVELLY right now ... and now Grog's using his Titanstone Gauntlets to SUPERSIZE ... oh, and Matt has an EXTRA LARGE GROG MINI?!!! Awesome!

Good point. The Orb is NOT the first order of business here ... they have to remove the Bacon ... sorry, the BEACON first ...

What WAS that strange loud buzzing thing that passed overhead in the smoky sky? Should we be worried about that?

Freedom of Movement for Keyleth and Scanlan? Oh yeah, that might be helpful with him having A MASSIVE HORSE BODY right now!

SIX HUNDRED FEET?!!! Fucking hell, Vex ... that bow is OP'd. I mean this whole crew is pretty OP'd, but still ...

Windup toys? Intriguing ... Professor Anders with a vial of green liquid ... sounds potentially destructive ... is this gonna be a Jinx's monkey-bomb with the Hex crystals kind of situation?

Keyleth's Call Lightning's still up? Cool.

So, Vex fires off an explosive shot to DEVASTATING EFFECT with a genuine NAT-FUCKING-20!!! Okay, then ... what a way to start this off ... AND with a Sneak Attack? Holy shit ... this is gonna be a SCARY amount of damage ... lots of dice maths, especially with the doubling ... O.O ... really, that was like 77 points of damage in ONE HIT?!!! Insane explosive wrecking ball of an attack there, Vex! No wonder the intended target is COMPLETELY DESTROYED in one single hit ...

And that is DEFINITELY it for any remaining pretences of stealth, definitely ... it's all KICKING OFF!!!

Marisha: "Who's mind-fucking me?" Travis: "Isn't that always the question?"

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! Here we fucking GO!!!

Percy's up first? No wonder ... Bad News with a Deadeye Shot! Okay, then ... NO MERCY PERCY!!! Here we go ... he's gonna DESTROY this poor bastard ... a Psychic Shield? Oh, you cheater ... OF COURSE he takes another shot at him then ... oh fuck ... a MISFIRE?!!! Balls ... so he has to waste his Bonus to fix it ... nuts ... next shot hits, though ... and he busts the shield AND grabs some meat! Nice ...

Vex aims to finish what her hubby started on the Thought Eater ... staying at long range, she uses her Lightning Arrow ... dice maths ALMOST beats her, but she gets it together ... and yeah she manages to FUCK HIM UP!!! Nice ... now the orbs are lighting up, though ... oof ... so she scoots off out of range of THAT SHIT too ... O.O

Keyleth plunges into the ground and ploughs under to make her way as close as she can get to the Key ...

A vidulch from ABOVE?!!! What the sweet fuck? That's terrifying ... AND YES, that mini REALLY IS pure nightmare fuel! In fact I can't even call that a MINI ... O.O ... and it has a RIDER?!!! Fuck, who's THIS GUY? He sounds scary ...and the vidulch has a NAME, apparently ... Scrag? Lovely ...

And now it's SCRAG'S turn? Fuck ... and it has FIVE ATTACKS?!!! Dear fucking gods ... quite right everybody's just FREAKING OUT, Travis especially ... O.O

Travis: "Matt, what did ... WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!"

That's right, this thing is basically a FUCKING TARASQUE ... yeah, this is entirely Matt bucking for a TPK this session ... O.O

Oh great ... here come the fucking freaky ancient Reiloran hive mind, any second now ... as if we didn't have ENOUGH to deal with ...

So ... not much Lieve'tel can do right now ... so she just makes her way the best she can towards the Key instead ... but the massive horrowshow gets an attack of opportunity on her on the way ... argh ... and it FUCKING HURTS ...

The Shrikes' turn? Ouch ... this won't be pretty ... they're holding their actions? Not good AT ALL ...

Grog leaps onto the platform and tries to distract the big beastie ... meanwhile battering at a pillar with his Knuckles? Yeah, this should be interesting ... especially since he's STILL Raging ... BOOM!!! BOOM!!! He brings it down and BARELY manages to jump off in the process ... oh yeah, they don't want a piece of Grog AT ALL right now, they're smart ...

Laura: "What do you horse eyes see, Scanlan?" Cute ... XD

Scanlan starts punching the Tower with SCANLAN'S HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNDD!!! Sam has COMPLETELY forgotten how to do this, it's been SO BLOODY LONG ... and it really does absolutely BUGGER ALL ... oh dear ...

Sunder King Ozo Cruth? Hmmmm ... okay, then ... the Juggernaut on the vidulch looks up at Vex and takes his glass sword to fire at her ... but when it hits, the Dawnfather's protection instead makes his spell REBOUND back into him with a SHITTON of Radiant damage ... O.O ... nice ... which knocks him on his arse ... but he's also able to DRAG HER DOWN into melee with him? Oh shit ... and now he's pulling out a nasty barbed mace ... to attack her THREE TIMES?!!! Fuck! Bone Graver? Charming ... thankfully only one hits, and it puts him on his arse again thanks to the Dawnfather ...

Oh fuck ... NOW what? Oh fuck ... another mini that's not an actual MINI ... Vorak? Oh, that is just NASTY ...

Laura: "I think you think we're better than we are, Matt!"

So it's a bane worm? Lovely ... it goes STRAIGHT for Grog ... and starts trying to chew on him! Ow! Thankfully he JUST manages to pull free in time ... and hits back, dealing a substantial punch in return ... so it shoots a bunch of spines at him! Great ... thank fuck the Big Man is Raging ...

Cerkonos clambers over the wall in his fire elemental form and stalks up to the vidulch, then casts Cinjure Aanimals, summoning peregrine falcons? Hmmmm ... interesting choice ... they start swarming the beastie and its rider, dealing a variety of damage ... 5 D10 of Slashing damage? Nice ...

Pike shifts as close as she needs to get into range before hurling a Sunburst at the Malleus Key ... oh, apparently this is gonna be a BIG BLAST effect ... come on Everlight, kick some arse ... that's a fail for Scrag, but not for Ozo ... and another guy just gets VAPORIZED into ash ... another gets badly burned ... yeah, she has inflicted A WHOLE LOT of damage in that one hit ... meanwhile th4e flash of it lights up EVERY LITTLE DETAIL on the Tower ... and some of them are BLINDED too ...

Vorak manages to bite down on Grog this time and starts chewing on him now he's IN ITS FUCKING MOUTH!!! Oh shit! O.O

Poor blind bastard just pratfell RIGHT DOWN THOSE STAIRS ... it'd be pitiful if it wasn't a bad guy ... instead it's just FUNNY. XD

Oh shit ... those fucking orbs are doing stuff now ... help! O.O ... and now Pike's getting Mind Ravaged ... or rather NOT, she got SO FUCKING LUCKY there ... but the second one HITS!!! Oof ... Damn Psychic damage! That hurts AND disorients her.

Fuck ... Lieve'tel is uncermoniously DUMPED ON THE GROUND ... that's not nice AT ALL!!! Now she's getting mindfucked TOO ... O.o

Percy takes advantage of the flash to take a good look at the Tower ... and he FINDS THE LOCATION they're looking for! Phew! He pulls out his walking stick, pops out the blades and slashes as the Shrike ... which just misses ... NUTS!!! Next one hits, though ... then he stabs at him while SHOOTING HIM with the built-in gun! Nice ... and now the Shrike is RIGHT NEXT to Percy's toy ... so he shoots at the toy ... okay, then, this should be interesting ... Professor Anders blows up, showering the Shrike AND Scrag with a lethal toxin! Even more nice! No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Vex bamfs Trinket out behind Ozo ... REALLY?!!! And then as he starts savaging the Juggernaut she just FLIES OFF?!!! Abandoning her beloved ancient bear? O.O ... my gods ... now she starts SHOOTING AT Ozo with her bow ... Bramble Shot! Okay ... she misses ... crap! Second hits, though ... come on OP bow in the hands of the greatest ranger of all time! Nice ... that is a FUCKTON of damage, Laura! 72 points of damage in ONE ATTACK!!!

Keyleth casts Earthquake with the full intent to try and BRING DOWN THE TOWER ... O.O ... what are the chances this ACTUALLY WORKS?!!! Without accidentally killing half of them in the process? Oh my fucking gods this is HARROWING ...

Oh dear, the poor cowering Vanguard in the tent have been THOROUGHLY PULVERISED by the ensuing tremors ... yeah ... okay, so now EVERYBODY still on the ground needs to make a dex save ... crap ...

Wow ... yeah, this is taking out a BUNCH of people all at once ... oh, and Scrag get knocked on its arse, too! Completely crushing that poor bastard Shrike that was still underneath it ... wow ... meanwhile the Tower HAS taken some damage, but is still standing ...

Scrag gets back up and goes STRAIGHT for Keyleth ... crap ... MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!!! Yeah, this thing is FULLY INTENT on inflicting a whole HELL of a lot of hurt on our girl right now, including a massive amount of acidic vomit ... yuck! Shit ... now Matt's doing a whole hell of a lot of dice rolling ...

Great ... Lieve'tel's Planar Ally is now GONE ... great ...

Balls ... the Weavemind are starting to manifest then, looks like ... and now they're all getting BATTERED TO THE GROUND with psychic energy from beyond the stars! So to speak ... crap ... yeah, Vex just got pounded RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!!! That's not cool! At least it didn't break the broom, but still, HEY!!!

Lieve'tel drags herself upright and heads for the Tower ... she casts Divine Intervention to try and rip the Beason free from the structure! Holy shit ... O.O ... hundreds of ravens? Oh, that's really awesome ... go you magnificent murder! Oh yeah, that's the ticket ... yeah, there we go, it's fucking WORKING!!! THERE IT IS!!! THE BEACON!!! EXPOSED!!! PERFECT!!!

Finally a little Healing Word to pep herself up again a little ...

Grog is currently INSIDE THE FUCKING WORM!!! He immediately gets burned by acid and that just sends him into a Frenzied Rage! He is currently Drax in the belly of the weird beast at the start of Guardians Volume 2 so he just starts SMASHING AND SLASHING AWAY!!! Thanks to his Brutal Criticals this is a FUCKTON of damage ... he is thoroughly FUCKING THIS THING UP from within! That's over 100 points of damage in one turn and so no surprise it just PUKES HIM RIGHT OUT AGAIN ... now he's just slashing away again from the OUTSIDE ...

Scanlan uses Scanlan's Hand to try and pluck the Beacon loose ... oh, this might not work ... let's see if he beats the spell ... 26? Hmmmm ... and that is a FAIL for the tower's structure ... yeah, he wins and the Beacon has been pulled out ... oh my fucking gods the Bloody Bridge GUTTERS OUT!!! YEAH!!!

The storm overhead just blows itself out VIOLENTLY, blasting the battlefield with massive winds, but overhead the leylines start to return to their original configuration! Holy shit! They did it!

And now Matt calls a break ... yup ...

So, back with THE REST of Scanlan's turn ... he bringsd the Beacon back to him and drops it right at his feet. Then he casts Dominate Monster on Scrag? Holy fuck ... and it FUCKING WORKS?!!! Unbelievable ... so he commands it to attack ANYTHING on its back ... INCLUDING TRINKET?!!! Oh my fucking gods! O.O

Now it's Ozo's go! He leaps off the back of the Vidulch, using Frenzied Wrath to attack Vex ... oh shit ... so Scanlan tries to mitigate the damage with Cutting Words ... oh boy, this could fail so spectacularly ...

Thank fuck for the Dawnfather ... Vex still gets hurt but it knocks the Juggernaut on his arse again ... he gets back up and just goes for her AGAIN ... more damage for BOTH of them, and Scanlan's Cutting Words does BUGGER ALL ...

Wait ... so he's basically stuck in an attack loop until he fails THREE TIMES?!!! I mean it's hurting him but it's STILL hurting HER too! One miss ... then two ... come on, one more ... fuck, Vex is not DOWN ... but Death Ward brings her back up! Shit, he hits her AGAIN!!! He is FULLY INTENT on ripping her to shreds ... she's down and he just keeps hitting her! She's dying! FUCK!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Her final thoughts are of her children ... fuck ... and Percy ... she REACHES FOR HIM ... gods FUCKING DAMN IT!!! Fuck ... is Vex really DEAD now? O.O

Grog keeps on hacking away at the worm ... it blasts him with spines, then tries to bite him again ... which fails SPECTACULARLY!!! Phew ...

Cerkonos jumps down and tries to get to Grog ... he burns his action getting there, so he can't do anything else ... nuts ...

Pike does everything she can to get to Vex, using Divine Intervention to call on the Everlight to bring her back ... oh PLEASE let this work ... PLEASE ... oh ... oh fuck ... the Dawnfather's helping too? Oh thank fuck ... nice save, guys! Yes! She's back ... that's such a relief ... finally Pike piles in a 3rd Level Healing Word into her for good measure ... thank you so much Pickle, youre the MVP like always ...

Okay, so half of the scattered foot soldiers are just BOOKING IT now the Bridge of gone ... nice ... another one tries to attack Cerkonos and gets burned in the process ... oof ...

Shit ... the orbs are still working! That's not good ... so Grog gets a MASSIVE blast from the nearest one, which he barely shakes off thanks to the Knuckles ... oh shit, looks like they're just ALL shooting at Grog right now ... O.O ... shit ...

Gods, this is fucking EXHAUSTING ... I'm so worn out by this endless battle ... these sessions really do take so much out of me ...

Percy is FUCKING FURIOUS about what Ozo just did to his wife and is THOROUGHLY INTENT on killing him spectacularly dead ... he walks right through an attack of opportunity without even slowing down! Bloody hell ... oh fuck No Mercy Percy is ALL THE WAY ON right now! He casts Hex, pulls out Manners and throws it ... and MISSES!!! Shit! Okay, now what? So he just pulls out Bad News and starts blasting! A Grit point for advantage, nice ... BOOM!!! Another shot ... BOOM AGAIN!!! Action Surge, then ... fuck, misfire! He pulls out Animus instead ... another hit! BANG!!! Another! Whirling Parry? Oh you fuck ... another Action Surge, then ... another hit! BANG!!! So he pumps 6 Points of Cabal's Ruin in for good measure ... a tone of Lightning damage, then! CRACK-POW-BOOM!!! Yet ANOTHER hit! BOOM!!! And another! BOOM!!! That is an INSANE bout of damage inflicted ... and the fucker is STILL STANDING?!!! My gods ...

Vex gets up, grabs her broom and flies up into the air. Yeah, smart, after all that she NEEDS to keep some distance right now ... she fires an Explosive arrow at him ... which he ALSO parries ... CRAP!!! Her second arrow misses ... shit! She just made herself a target again ...

Keyleth switches into her Air Elemental form, throwing another Earthquake wave through everything as she boosts herself up into the air. Heading STRAIGHT for the top of the Tower ...

Oh nice! Yes! The Weavemind's orb pillars are FALLING!!! Sweet Kiki you total BADASS!!! You did it! Awesome! Unfortunately everybody has to make a save to keep from getting knocked down or even crushed all over again ... CRAP!!!

The Tower's collapsing? Oh man ... is that good or bad? Can Keyleth find the Ball? YES!!! There it is! GO KIKI GO!!! Get it! Quick! Oh wait ... it's CRACKING?!!! Yes! Get it quick!

Strength check, then ... roll well, Marisha! PLEASE!!! O.O 18? Is that good enough?

The sphere shatters ... a cluster of black shadow ... mist ... it's forming into something ... VAX!!! VAXILDAN LIVES!!! Sort of! Yes! And he's got the mini out and everything! Yes!

Liam is ROLLING FOR VAX!!! OH MY FUCKING GODS!!! He's battered to fuck from the strain and all this damage but he's STILL IN IT!!! That is ONE HELL of an Initiative roll, he's SECOND ON THE ROSTER!!! Unbelievable ... O.O

Scrag is still under the Command to attack whatever's on its back ... shit ... oh, okay ... it's going for Ozo instead? Thank fuck ... yeah, now Trinket's just having a ride instead! XD ... it rains down a metric shitton of damage on Ozo ... and he just TAKES IT ... yeah, that can't be good ... and he's STILL UP ... unbelievable ...

Lieve'tel has the Beacon ... and she's now being INFLUENCED BY IT ... crap! Roll good to shake THAT SHIT off, Liam! She makes her way best she can for Vex ... oh, okay ... she burs her NINTH LEVEL Mass Heal ... 700 hit points overall? HOLY SHIT ... well that's Vax back to full strength, then Vex too ... and everybody else in range ... FUCKING BEAUTIFUL ... YES!!!

Dampen Divinity? You fuckers ... only HALF the points, then? Hmmmmm ... it's still great, though ... fucking BEAUTIFUL save, goth dominatrix elf girl!

The remaining Shrike rushes Grog ... that's some damage, but with his Rage he's just shrugging it right off ... Grog just batters him right back and he's wobbling punch-drunk now ... Grog: "Run ..." He just walks right past him to give the Shrike an attack of opportunity, which he just shrugs right off ... yeah, he's just going STRAIGHT for Ozo ...

Reckless Rage? Oh here we fucking GO!!! He just UNLEASHES on the Juggernaut ... those are some INSANE hits, this is gonna be EPIC ... O.O ... fucking hell that's a lot of dice rolling right now ... oh yeah, he doesn't even FINISH before Matt says: "How do you wanna do this?" He just ENDS Ozo ... and turns him into a meat puppet ... fucking beautiful ... in a really twisted way ...

Both the remaining monsters start SCREECHING in fury at the death of their master ... crap ... this looks like it's going to be REALLY BAD ...

Scanlan fires a bolt of Lightning at the floaty guy ... okay ... yeah, he just DISINTEGRATES that one ... so he tries another Command on Scrag, hoping he can turn it on the worm ...

Vorak the worm lunges for Pike ... yeah, 24 hits ... crap ... she can shrug off the damage, at least, but can she beat the grapple? Oh balls ... yeah, she's in its mouth ... FUCK!!! Now it's shooting spines in all directions ...

Cerkonos swipes at the Shrike with his flaming hand and just ENDS HIM at last ... meanwhile ... oh gods, he is SUCH A NERD I love it ... s he bamfs himself right in front of the worm and ... oh, y'know what? As far as Vicious Mockery goes that's actually really good ... yeah, he's now set it on fire AND is now siccing his birds on it too ... and finally bamfs INSIDE the worm and starts fighting it from within too ... oh wow ...

War God's Blessing? Oh, nice boost there, Pikey!

Pike ... is currently being burned with acid! Shit! She Inflicts a SEVENTH LEVEL Inflict Wounds from within its throat ... oh, this is gonna be sweet ... NINE D10 of damage? Fucking hell this IS gonna be sweet ... O.O ... 42 points of damage? Spectacular ... yeah, it TOTALLY spits her right back out again. Grog catches her ... and they're BOTH splashed with more acid spit ...

One remaining Thought Eater ... tries to summon the Weavemind? Crap ... to Scanlan just Counterspells at Level 6 ... O.O ... oh NICE!!! YES!!! Scanlan just looks it dead in the eye ... and takes a dump. Like punctuation. XD

The remaining Vanguard troopers attack Vax ... who just shrugs it off ... they try to retreat ... and he just cuts right back at them. Oh yeah, THAT ONE'S gonna get FUCKED UP ...

Percy climbs as high as he can before taking aim at Vex' would-be attackers ... damn it ... fucking psychic shields ... Secon Wind for Bonus? Okay ... oof ... yeah, Tal just rolled BALLS this round ... nuts ...

Vax has clearly lost NONE of his spectacular skill since he got locked away ... yeah, he's just CARVING THESE GUYS TO PIECES ... I love it ... and yes now he has extra SMITE!!! Nice ... and that's a HDYWTDT on the Thought Eater! Yes! He's back, baby!

Family reunion, and his lady love once more ... oh, that's so sweet ...

Vex takes a moment to welcome him back ... then flies off to approach the monsters. She paints a Hunter's Mark on the worm, then shoots ... hmmmm ... not the BEST rolls ... but it's better than nothing ... she shoots again ... a Residuum arrow this time? Oh, this should be interesting ... with Sharpshooter ... and AGAIN it looks like she's rolling balls ... but she STILL gets the HDYWTDT! Thank fuck ... okay,k so now it's got a TREE growing out the back of its head, while Cerkonos pours a Lightning Bolt into it, splitting the trunk in two and killing the worm in the process ...

Oh yeah ... Scanlan, totally, send it to just kill as many vanguard as possible ... or just set it free in the desert? Oh wow ... it's TRYING TO BOND WITH HIM right now ... that's so fucking weird ...

Vex just sucks it into her locket ... yeah, that's probably for the best. Phew ... thank fuck ...

Is that it? Did we win?

The twins are FINALLY REUNITED ... oh my gods this is amazing ...

So ... he's STILL tethered to the Matron? Bugger ... but it wasn't exactly unexpected ... how long does he have with them, then?

Oh okay ... the reinforcements have arrived? That's it then ... the battle's over, then. They did it.

Issylra? What's that about?

Please just let him stay ... just give him a little time ... he's fought so hard, he deserves a little something ... just the tiniest little respite ...

The Matron: "The night is yours." Okay ... is that ... just THIS night, or something more?

Hold his hand Kiki ... you don't know how long you might have for this, take it while you can ...

Rest. Yes. One day, that's good. Take it a day at a time.

So this is a finite thing, then. They have one brief moment of respite, they should make the most of it while they can.

Meanwhile Grog's just having fun mopping up what's left of the resistance ... yeah, that's about right ...

To Whitestone? Yeah. Go. Now.

Yes. Let Vex meet his nieces and nephews while he can.

Oh, they're using the split tree in the worm's head to step through? That's ballsy. And kind of irreverent too. I love it.

That's it for Vox Machina, then. Next time it's back to the Moon. For Bells Hells and the Mighty Nein ... next time round. Is it Thursday yet?

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