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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years ago

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Part Nine. Minecraft Dating 101

warnings: swearing, mostly super freaking fluffy but some oopsies at the end (which is the barely-there angst that i mentioned before!!), pet names?? if that bothers you??? (like...... one or both of them might use baby.........) word count: 5.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: HEHEH SORRY ITS SO LONG SORRY hope you guys like it!!!! hope it lives up to your standards of minecraft dates lol also thank you guys all for all your suggestions!!! i loved all of them so much!!!! i would have added every idea except this was already 5k words so its much less “flirting” and more so “oh gosh im so nervous what am i supposed to do” from both of them so hehe i think thats more endearing anyway

**********

The familiar sound of a FaceTime call connecting rang in Y/n's ears and she held her phone up to her face. "Hi, Karl," she sighed.

"Y/N!!" he said with a cackle. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE?!"

"Shut up, I'm doing this for you."

"I already gave you the tour though so really you could back out. You're choosing to stay." His voice was teasing and giddy. "Why's that, hmm?"

Heat rose instantly to Y/n's face. "Because I'm a woman of my word?"

"OkaAaAyy," he sang. "Or because you liiiiikeee himmm."

"Shhhut up, Karl. No, I don't."

"Suuuure."

"Is this why you called me?"

He giggled. "Yeah, but—"

Y/n disconnected the call and set her phone down with a small laugh and a shake of her head.

With her stream started and her chat greeted, the donation limit raised to $100 (both because she didn't want to be flooded with questions on the date and because she didn't want people to donate their hard-earned money), Y/n logged onto Dream's SMP and found the voice call Dream was in, George's name right under his.

After she clicked it to join, a small gasp emitted from her headphones before she heard Dream mutter something. "Get out, get out, leave."

George's voice was normal. "But I wanna—"

"GEORGE!" Dream yelled, making Y/n giggle.

"Fine!" George yelled back. "Have fun you two," he sang like Karl did before a sound from Discord told them that he left.

It was silent for a second before, "Hi."

"Hi." She giggled. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just some last minute, uh, setting up."

She hummed, amused at the sound of his frantic voice.

"So, um... are you ready for our date?"

"I don't even know where you are. I'm still in my house."

"Knock, knock," he said with a laugh. Y/n turned to see green peeking through the cutouts on her oak door and she laughed.

She ran to the door and opened it for him, revealing Dream in a slightly altered version of his Minecraft skin. He looked the same, except the white blob appeared to be wearing a necktie of some sort. "You look ridiculous," she admitted with a smile. "Wait, is this a fancy date? Should I change my skin?"

"It's not fancy, I just wanted to look my best for the prettiest girl in the world."

"Ohmygosh," she muttered to herself, hoping that writing off his charming words and actions as annoying would make her face not heat up as much. So far, it hadn't worked. Two minutes in and she was already blushing like a schoolgirl whose crush asked her to play tag at recess. "So, I'm not underdressed?"

"No, you're always perfect."

She didn't comment, opting for an eye-roll instead. Truthfully, she wanted to flirt back with him, try to make his heart beat fast like hers already was, but she was worried her words wouldn't come off joking and that the true intention would be obvious, that he'd be able to breeze right past the jovial tone and hear the sincerity in her words. Wait, true intention? What was her true intention? Her true intention should obviously be to just joke around and have some fun, but deep down she knew the motivation for teasing him came from somewhere different, somewhere more meaningful.

She wanted to tease him because she wanted to be the one to make him blush, to make him trip over his words and not know what to do with his hands.

Why? Well, she was still figuring that out.

"If you're ready, follow me, ma'am."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked as she followed his character down prime path.

"Hmmm..." he mused. "A secret, obviously."

"Obviously," she scoffed. She noticed that he was several blocks ahead of her and she smiled to herself. "Hey, Dream?"

"Hm?" he asked, spinning to face her as he ran backward.

"I don't know how many dates you've been on, but usually people walk together. You know, gives them an excuse to maybe hold hands or at least enjoy each other's company?" She made sure her voice had just the right balance of teasing and seriousness, curious as to how he would respond.

"I, uh... oh."

"Unless you want me to just meet you there. I mean, you're practically running away from me."

"I'm just excited!" he excused, stopping briefly so she could catch up with him.

"But look at how many beautiful things there around us to look at while we get to where we're going!" she told him. "Well, maybe not that," she said with a laugh as she punched her fist towards Tommy's dirt house. "But other things."

Dream laughed and continued to walk next to her like she requested, pausing if he ever got too far ahead. "How can I look at all those when the most beautiful thing is walking right next to me?"

She's never rolled her eyes so hard in her life. "Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him.

"OW! BUG!"

"That was supposed to be a pat on the arm but Minecraft only has one level of hitting and it's a punch. Sorry."

Dream wheezed briefly before containing his laughter. "This way," he instructed, getting off the path and starting into the woods.

"Oh, really you're trying to kill me. That's why you didn't want me to wear anything nice. Didn't want me to ruin any of my fancy stuff."

"Foiled my plans," he joked lightly. "Okay but really, um, I was thinking—well, so you already have a house but I was thinking we could build one together. Or build something, I don't know. But you're really good at building and I know you really enjoy it so I thought maybe you could show—like, teach me and then later I'll teach you something and then we can have a little picnic dinner."

Y/n smiled at her nervousness. "Hey, that actually sounds really fun!"

"What? What do you mean actually?" He laughed. "What, did you expect me to plan something boring?"

She laughed over his dramatic pouting. "No, but I mean, I didn't know what to expect," she said shyly. "I do have to say, though, I'm not sure what you plan on teaching me. I'm pretty much a master at all possible Minecraft skills, so..."

"Oh, really?" he taunted. "Everything?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her confidence wavering at his smooth voice.

"We'll see about that..."

"Unless you mean you're gonna teach me how to code Minecraft. That's a Minecraft skill I will admit I know nothing about."

"No, no, nothing like that," he said with a laugh.

"Good, save the programming talk for later."

"For laaater, hmmm?" he sang flirtatiously.

"Oh my gosh," she said through a laugh. "You would think that's what I meant."

"Hey, you're the one that said you think it's cute when I talk about coding. Maybe you're into that."

"I was saying it's sweet hearing you talk about stuff you like, you nerd. Why did you immediately think—what, is your idea of dirty talk talking about... like... computer viruses?"

"WhAT?"

"Hey girl, lemme clean out your motherboard," she mocked in a deep voice. "You overclock my processor. Lemme program your, uh—uh...hAHA, nevermind, ew, no."

"BUG?! WHAAAT? What is wrong with you?" His gasps for breath between wheezes made her laugh with him. "Don't ever talk like that again, pleASE."

"I won't, I won't, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh."

"Is that your idea of flirting? You are bad!"

"No, no, no!" She laughed. "I was making fun of you. No, I'm actually really good."

She couldn't stop giggling to herself for a few minutes, embarrassed but also proud of the reaction she got from Dream. She loved hearing him laugh as if he would never stop, it made her heart so happy to hear, especially when she was the one who caused it.

Though she feared her horrible pickup lines, if you could even call them that, were already clipped, ready to be used against her for the rest of her life. Worth it. Probably.

They approached a cleared-out area in the woods and Dream stopped and turned to Y/n. "So, we're here. What should we build?"

"Oh, so now I have to plan? Wow, you are so underprepared," she joked.

"What, no! I originally... I wanted to build a, like, a house together because I didn't— I forgot you made your—your house already and—but since you already have one—"

"We can still build a house," she interrupted with a soft voice. Him fumbling over his words was very endearing but also very confusing. How serious was he taking this bit? Or was he... actually nervous? She was actually nervous but she had reasons to be: a huge live audience to entertain and not ignore, and the weird staticky, itchy feeling in her tummy every time Dream spoke to her. Both valid reasons to be nervous. What was his excuse?

"Really? You wanna build a home together?"

Heat rose to her cheeks at his wording and she hummed. "Mhm. You can be my secret lover I hide in my vacation home. Like a second life kinda deal."

He scoffed. "Oh, now I'm just your side piece, Bug?"

"Nah, you're my main bitch, baby. I just wanna hide you away to keep you for myself because I'm selfish."

There was silence on his end for a few moments, making Y/n's face practically catch fire as she thought about her words. Why did she say that?? How can he flirt all the time but as soon as she says something: dead silence.

"Well.... shhhhhit," he finally mumbled definitively.

"You wanted me to flirt with you, Dream. You literally asked me too!" She laughed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. It had been less than 20 minutes and she already made a fool of herself.

"I did, I did, I just—wow. Come on, that was... I didn't expect you to go from never flirting to calling me baby!"

"Too much?" she bit her lip as she waited for him to explain if it was a good or bad thing.

He paused again. "....no."

She laughed loudly, pulling her hoodie collar up to her face in an attempt to rid herself of the giddiness and heat on her face. Like anyone could see anyway.

"So, a house?"

"A house."

"What kind of house do you think we should build together, Dream?"

"Maybe...." he thought as he ran around the area. "Maybe, like, a log cabin? Since we're in a forest. It's fitting..."

"Very true, very true..." she thought. "I was thinking a castle was more suited for you, king, but a cabin works too."

"Bug!" he yelled, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" she said defensively, giggling.

"You're a handful today," he groaned under his breath and she smiled. Though his words said one thing, Y/n could tell he was enjoying her energy.

"So, a dinky, old cabin, or what?"

"Whatever you want to build," he sighed.

"You always this agreeable?"

"Only to you."

"Well, I honestly don't have much practice with building cabins and since I want to show off my skills, I mean, that's the whole point of this, right? For me to impress you with my skills?"

Dream laughed so she continued.

"I think we should build a treehouse."

"A treehouse?"

"Mhm. What do you think? I make a pretty bomb treehouse."

"That sounds awesome!" he agreed. "Oh, and it could go from, like, one tree to another and, like, connect with a bridge! Like, the living room on one and the bedroom on another."

"Yeah, exactly! Okay, it's settled."

"What do we need? What do you want me to do?"

"I'm thinking.... we use cobblestone?"

Dead silent. Literally no noise until a few moments later, ".......Bug. This might be a deal-breaker."

"I'm joooking! You think I'd build something out of cobblestone? Who am I, Tommy? No, what's your favorite wood?"

"Dark oak."

"GOOD. Me too. So.... we need dark oak. Or, wait! Okay, hear me out."

"I'm hearing..." Dream prompted as he pressed A and D on his keyboard back and forth, earning a giggle from Y/n. He character was bouncing left and right is excitement.

"Dark oak planks..." she started.

"Mhm."

"Stone bricks..."

"Go on."

"And green wool for accents."

"Well, now you're just pandering."

"No!" she laughed. "Not, like, lime wool. Green wool. It's close to you but not as... obnoxiously blinding."

"I trust your vision. I'll go get materials."

"Perfect, you're the best, Dweam."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled before laughing. "You pick out a tree you think would be best for the main part."

40 minutes later, they were nowhere near being done. Y/n had shown him how to make a good house layout after he placed the floor in the shape of a square. She had yelled at him for it first, of course. They also had the frame of the walls and one bridge but nothing on the other side of said bridge. Not wanting the stream to last six hours since this was only the first part of the date, Y/n made a suggestion.

"What if...."

"What if what?" Dream asked, pausing to look at her character, who had stopped fixing his mistakes. "Did I mess something up?"

"No, I was just thinking. What if we make this the whole house and do a little garden on the other side of the bridge? Or like a little cute thing."

"A little cute thing?" Dream laughed.

"You know, like a thing," she said, knowing she hadn't clarified anything. "I forgot this is only date one, you can't read my mind yet."

"Oh, so there are gonna be future dates? I thought this was just to pay off your debt?"

She paused, playing with her hoodie strings between her left hand. "Well, I guess we'll see."

Dream laughed. "So, what little cute thing did you want to make?"

"We could put a bench facing the sunset and have some potted flowers and hang lanterns and stuff."

"Oh, like a romantic spot?"

"I guess if you wanna think of it like that."

"Sounds cute," he said. "So, we have to change the layout in here then?"

"Nah, I mean, we can just not add a kitchen, we obviously don't need one anyway."

"True. Then all we need is to put our bed down, right?"

"Beds," Y/n corrected.

"Well, when they're together it looks like one big bed."

"Who said we're putting out beds together?"

"Buuuuggg..." he whined. "Come on... lemme put my bed next to yours."

She giggled again. What was with all the giggling, sheesh. "No. There's plenty of space, put it somewhere else." She placed her white bed down in the corner and went across the bridge to bring her idea to life, or, to Minecraft.

It only took about ten minutes and she finished when Dream spoke again. "I think I'm done."

"I am too! Let's take one final look around." She went back inside and immediately noticed his bed right next to hers. She stared at his character and he laughed.

"Whaaat?" he asked shyly and she just sighed, letting it happen. They took a look around and agreed that it was basically the best treehouse in the entire universe, both in Minecraft and real life.

"Bug, you're so good at building," Dream complimented as he ran around the house. "What's your favorite part?"

"Ummm...." She looked around before deciding on the bridge. "I like how you made the bridge. And I like the little touches you added to it. It's nice."

"Thanks! I think the 'little cute thing' you did is the best part."

"Shut up, I can't stand you," she scoffed. "But thanks."

"Hey, Bug?" Dream asked, leading her back into the house. He faced the two beds placed together and she prepared herself for the worst joke of all time. "Is this where all the programming talk happens?"

"I knew it! I knew you were gonna say that! Shut up!" She punched Dream as he laughed loudly and she couldn't stop smiling. "You're such a nerd. You're so annoying."

"OH! I have an idea, wait here."

***

It had been a solid eight and a half minutes of Y/n waiting for Dream and he showed no signs of returning. He was silent too, so she resorted to saying random things to get him to crack.

"When will my husband return from war?" she joked, her voice laced with sadness and longing.

There was a small suppressed laugh from his mic, but still no words.

"Sometimes I think I can still hear him laughing at me."

He must have gotten reeeaaalll close to his mic, because his next words, the first ones he had spoken in almost ten minutes, were whispered but she felt like he was in her ear. "I'll be home soon, baby."

Once again, she was so glad her chat couldn't see her because she literally shivered and her face was so warm she felt like she was glowing.

For the first time all stream, her eyes betrayed her and she looked at her chat as she pulled her hoodie collar up to her face.

user18: BUGSY BEIN REEEAL QUIET

user4: i think i just passed out

user11: wHAT ON EARTH DREAM ADKXKH

user7: BUGSY ON GOD BE REAL WITH US WTF IS GOING ON RN

user2: hey bestie i cant do this rn

user9: they can't talk to each other like that and say they're just friends pleASE

Also for the first time all stream, someone dared to donate at her limit (which, again, was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS).

karakatara donated $100 I had to donate bc I just HAD to tell you how cute you and dream are! honestly my favorite couple ever and I was just wondering how long you've been dating??? love you and your videos!!!!!

It was $100. She had to answer it. Meaning, she had to use words after Dream said that like that and she wasn't sure that was physically possible right now.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Dream taunted.

"Wha—what, are you—you stream watching, you weirdo?" she forced out. "Why?"

"I wanted to read your chat, they're really funny."

"I haven't been reading it."

"What, why? They've been so funny this whole time."

"I've been too scared to."

"Too scared? Of what?"

Of the jokes that she wanted to be real? Of seeing something so cute only to break her heart when she remembers it's all a joke? Of seeing someone hate her for being so close to Dream? Many things.

"Of seeing something... that boosts your ego."

"What? Oh, come on. Hey, answer the dono. Someone gave you their hard earned money for that."

"Yeah, wait, chat, I had the limit that high so you DON'T donate! Why on earth would you—"

"You're avoiding the question."

"We aren't actually dating! Not actually a couple!" she said with a laugh, though something in her heart was very much against laughing at that fact. "Obviously not."

"Well, it's only the first date, so, we'll see I guess, but..."

"I cannot stand you. Thank you so much for the dono, though, Karakatara. You're insane for... yeah. Thank you so much." She turned her attention back to Dream. "Actually though are you ever coming back?"

"Yeah, what, I'm almost there. I see the you staring out the window. ."

When he got inside, he dropped a blue cornflower for Y/n and stepped back. "Okay, now, give that to me."

She followed, not understanding. "For you, Dream." She dropped the flower.

"Aw, Bug! That's so kind! Aw! Thank you! Here's a flower for you, too!" He dropped her a red poppy and then put two item frames on the wall above their beds. He put the blue cornflower above his bed and she followed by putting the red one above hers. "Now that's my favorite part of the house."

"You didn't want to use the real ones? What, did you lose my flower or something?"

"Hell no!" he defended loudly. "No, I just don't want someone to steal that one. It's in my enderchest for safe-keeping."

He said it so casually like it was no big deal, but her heart soared. She too had his flower in her enderchest.

"This," she said dramatically with a sigh, "is now a treehome."

***

"I already told you I'm the best PVP player out there."

"Bug, honey, I've seen you play Bedwars. You're trash."

"Hey!" Hehe, honey. Shut up brain.

"But that's okay! I'm here to teach you."

Y/n's character stood across a makeshift battlefield from Dream's, an axe in hand and armor that was definitely donated by DreamXD on her body. "This is kinda sexist of you. Assuming I know how to name a cute house but not fight."

"Oh no, that's not—crap. Bug, I'm only basing this off of your streams, which I watch all the time—"

Once again, he said something so casual and yet it still made her heart skip three beats and once again, she grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled it up to hide her face. This thing had to be stretched by now from how often it was yanked on in this stream alone.

"—and don't get me wrong, you're great! But you're also good at a lot of stuff and—"

"Dream!" she giggled out. "I'm teasing. I admit you're much better than me."

"I wouldn't say much better but... it's the only thing I could possibly teach you anything about because you're just so good at Minecraft." His tone was sarcastic at this point but she knew he was meaning what he said.

"Whatever. Come on, Dream, show me how it's done."

He actually had a lot of very useful tips that Y/n otherwise would have never thought about. I guess when you tryhard Minecraft, she thought, you learn a thing or two about pvp. It was a complete joke, but she still kept it to herself.

"I could basically beat anyone now," she said confidently.

"Yeah, basically. Except maybe Technoblade."

"Nah, even him."

"Let's see how good you really are. To the death."

"What?" She laughed. "You're gonna try to kill me on our date?"

"Yeah, scared?" Seconds later, a creeper exploded near Dream and he screeched, jumping back. Y/n lost it. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

"Dr-Dream!" She laughed. "What the hell was that?"

"It scared me!" he argued. "Here, I'll protect you," he offered, running past her and killing a skeleton that was shooting towards her.

"I don't need protecting, especially from you! Besides, if you're trying to kill me, you'd let the mobs get me."

"No," he decided. "No one's allowed to kill my Bug."

She was literally going to explode. "Wh—"

"Only I get to."

"Dream!" she scoffed, running to kill the skeleton first. She succeeded and he pouted.

"Hey—I did more damage than you, you just had the final hit."

"Really? Cause to me it looks like I'm your knight in shining armor."

"Nuh-uh," he spat.

"Dream. F5 right now, you're covered in arrows."

There was a pause. "Oh whatever." He hit her once and that's all it took for them to start fighting, throwing jokes and taunts at each other the whole time, eventually resulting in a satisfying win for her.

Dream was slain by Bugsy

"WHAT?! HOW?"

<Tubbo> i thogt you were on a date <Ranboo> well definitley not anymore <Ranboo> is that canon <JackManifoldTV> WOMEN

"What was that about you being better than me?" Y/n teased.

"Oh, come ON! I still had damage from the skeleton, and besides, I taught you everything you know!"

"That just makes you a very good teacher, Dream," she said sincerely and he paused, probably expecting her to insult him instead of compliment him.

"Yeah, suck up now that you've murdered me."

***

They were finally at their final stop, three hours into the stream. Not too bad on time, though this was probably the longest Minecraft date in the history of Minecraft dates. Also the best, but maybe Y/n was biased.

There was a huge tree, obviously built instead of naturally generated, with lanterns hanging down and lighting areas of the dark world around them. Under that was a checkered pattern of carpet, a single chest in the center with a potted plant sitting next to it.

"The carpet is supposed to look like a, uh, what's it called... picnic blanket?" Dream explained as they approached the scene, clearly not happy with how it turned out. "It looks weird. Nothing compared to the treehouse you built."

"We built," she corrected. "And this looks awesome, Dream," Y/n complimented. "It's is also my favorite colors."

"Yeah, I had some help from Karl on that one."

She leaned back in her chair in real life and pressed her hands to her face. Oh, it was so unfair how cute he was when he was shy like this. She glanced at chat, which only made her face go from the temperature of molten lava to basically the sun. She was going to explode.

She hummed, a little giggle coming out as well. "That's cute."

She sat (crouched) on the picnic blanket (piece of carpet) while Dream put a disc in the jukebox off to the side.

"Is that a Tommy disc?" she giggled and Dream laughed.

"No, no, no, don't worry. There shouldn't be any continuations of wars interrupting our date."

"Shouldn't be," she emphasized, noticing someone approaching them from the distance.

Dream was about to speak when Quackity reached them and quickly joined the voice channel.

"Oh no," Dream sighed. "We've come so far."

"AYYEEE WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?!" Quackity yelled in his Mexican Dream voice, his voice bubbling with laughter. "IS THIS A DATE OR SOMETHING, MAN?"

"Quackity, go AWAY!" Dream ordered, punching the character who had stripped to his underwear. "YOU'RE INDECENT! THERE IS A LADY HERE!"

Y/n laughed, enjoying the scene of fancy Dream hitting naked Quackity away from their picnic dinner.

"I'm your waiter, I'm your waiter!" Quackity said in his normal voice, still laughing. "DREAM! WILL YOU STO— QUIT HITTING ME!"

This had turned chaotic very quickly.

"We don't need a waiter," Dream informed him.

"Then I'm the singing gram you ordered." He started singing a song and Dream groaned. "HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY—"

"No! You're being a clout chaser, go away!"

"I'm honestly impressed we made it this far without anyone coming into the voice channel," Y/n admitted.

"I paid them," Dream joked.

"You did not!" Karl's voice suddenly came through and Y/n laughed. "We were all just being polite and staying away but we're getting bored! We've been so patient!"

"Yeah, hurry up! We wanna play!!!" Sapnap whined. "Dream, it's not fair for you to steal Bugsy from us for so long."

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a laugh as Dream laughed along.

"Just ten minutes! Ten more minutes!" Dream bargained but none of them would have it. "Just so I can say goodbye!"

"No!" George insisted. "Right now!"

"Look, wait, wait, hold on—"

"—hold ON!" Dream begged, watching as the three boys ran and joined Quackity by the picnic blanket.

Y/n could not stop laughing at all the avatars around them. The date had been so peaceful and cute but all good things must come to a chaotic end.

"Wait, come on, Karl, Karl, Karl," Dream said quickly. "Come here. Bug, just a sec, please. Stay right there."

"Okay," she agreed, curious to see his plan.

Karl followed him and of course Sapnap couldn't help but also join them.

"Okay," Dream whispered loudly, clearly wanting everyone to hear his offer. He crouched and the other two copied. "Just give me ten minutes—"

"Ten?" Sapnap asked loudly.

"Shhh!!! Yes, ten minutes, to say goodbye and, you know, end the date."

There was a long, thick pause. "What exactly are your intentions with Bugsy Games," Karl asked seriously, matching Dream's whisper.

"Well, I wanna make sure she gets home safe, you know, so I'm gonna drop her off and, I don't know, see if maybe.... maybe she'll give me a hug?"

Karl and Sapnap both gasped dramatically and Y/n giggled, sparing a glance at her chat who were all freaking out.

"What the hell?" Quackity said while laughing. He and George were still standing near Y/n so they were just watching the goons with her.

"Bugsy is not that kind of girl!" Sapnap protested. "You think she's just gonna give you a hug?"

"Sapnap! Do you not know how to whisper???"

George let a loud laugh slip before slapping his hand over his mouth, which his mic picked up.

"Okay, Dream, wait, so you're gonna try to... hug her?" Karl clarified. "She won't even let me hug her. Good luck."

"Well, I'm not going to force her into anything but, I don't know, she said something about holding my hand earlier so I just thought maybe there's a possibility—"

"WHAT?" Karl yelled before going back to the whisper. "Okay, okay, don't panic, but that's huge. Dadnap, a word?"

He and Sapnap broke off from Dream and formed their own huddle, except their whispers were incoherent mumblings that weren't even English.

"Oh my gosh," Y/n groaned loudly, an unmistakable laugh behind her words.

"Okay," Sapnap said, rejoining Dream. "We'll give you five minutes but if you take any longer, we're barging in and killing you."

"Yes, sir!" Dream said. "Thank you, sirs."

"Mhm. Okay, break!"

They all uncrouched in sync before Dream ran back to Y/n.

"How did it go?" she asked as if she didn't hear the entire conversation.

"Bad news," he started. "Your dad's want you home."

"Shame, I was quite enjoying my time."

Dream slowly turned towards the boys as if to glare at them for ending the date before turning back to her. "Then, maybe, I don't know, we could do this again sometime?"

"I.... think I'd like that," she said slowly, trying to tease him.

He giggled and told her he was going to drop her off at her house, even though when the date was over, they were all probably gonna mess around together anyway so there was no point in them leaving the group. But it was the thought that counted.

He ended up taking her back to the treehouse, which warmed her heart. She also noticed when they faced each other at front of the door, she could see the four other boys watching them.

"Goodnight, my sweet Bug," he said poshly.

"Goodnight, Dream." He turned away but she stopped him. "Wait!" She moved to his side and made a loud, MUAH, sound before stepping back in front of him. "A kiss on the cheek," she clarified, not wanting him to think she gave him a real kiss.

"Cute," he said under his breath, almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Night night." He turned away and ran down to the others, screaming the whole way. "GUYS, DID YOU SEE THAT? BUG GAVE ME A KISS ON THE CHEEK!! OMG DID YOU SEE, DID YOU SEE?"

Chat was gonna have a field day with that. Actually, with a lot of things that had happened. Oh, she could see the clips and edits now.... oh boy.

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

**********

Taglist: OPEN (at the time) (bold = couldnt tag)

@theboywhocriedlupin @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman @jabby16 @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk @haseulreturns @queenwastaken @peteysgf @losingvienna @bi-narystars @zero-nightshade @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime @youhyakuya @danny-devitowo @clubfairy @loser-keiji @oi-itsemily @alm334 @the-katastrophe @wreny24 @applecakeradio @unicornblood4ever @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode @strawbrinkofdeath @aikochan4859 @chaotic-tieflings @dreamsofficialwife @where-thesundoesntshine @jamiealenaa @unstableye @kageyamama-hinatatata @officiallyunofficialperson @secretly-a-weeb @localsimp @loxbbg @rhymeorreason1

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #mcty x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x y/n #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #social media fic #dream social media fic

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years ago

Text

I’m back on my bullshit and we have GOT TO TALK about 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog; which serves as a good example of why you should not ONLY watch spn episodes with Cas (partially because of that scene I shamefully blogged about earlier - no I will not link that cursed post here). The episode title comes from a fable in which the villain is the scorpion. Interpretations of this fable note its uniqueness lies in the concept that “the scorpion is irrationally self destructive and fully aware of it.”

To quote the scorpion, buddies - “it’s in my nature.”

Anyway, this episode is subtextually predicated on exploring Dean Winchester’s nature and specifically - his bisexuality, and I’m not only saying that because it opens with Dean in his Bi Colors Plaid (that also he wore on his burger date with Cas).

Let’s get started, after the cut!

Season 13 on its face gives me absolute whiplash because it starts widow arc-reunion-TOMBSTONE and then Jack yeets himself off to Chuck knows where so Cas can go out Looking For Him Because Otherwise He Will Definitely Kiss Dean there is no other option for the writers at this point. Sigh. Here, have another shot of Dean anxiously cleaning his gun as he always does when Cas has Gone Off For Reasons -

Anyway, this feels like a filler episode at first, but as always they bury the ENTIRE damn world in it and I am here with my dossier to Unearth It.

Lets start with Bart (demon of terrible nicknames and microagressions) meeting the brothers at Smile Diner to talk about some spell or whatever.

(I am not thinking about the Cherry Pie meta I AM NOT)

THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to start with these lines immediately introducing the theme of duality, a thread throughout this episode.

BARTHAMUS

Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN

Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies.

***MORE DUALITY! But as we know, Dean does not like Bart because He Is A Freakin’ Demon

DEAN

Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass.

UMMM excuse me Barting Bacting Boices? What is that sexual gaze?

Then we find out that Bart has 1/2 of the spell. They need the other 1/2. Oh, a spell with two parts, you say? [ I am going to scream :) ]

***Also, Dean eats the pie Bart ordered. I cannot begin to explain to you the state of unwellness that I am in regarding how important this is. DEAN NEVER GETS TO EAT THE PIE, remember? But in This Filler Episode, Dean eats the pie. While Sam looks at him with a very quizzical expression. Pie -> what Dean wants but never actually gets -> Dean actively eating this pie. Dean is coming to terms that maybe he can have what he wants.

***I am reminding you again that this is post widower-arc, post-reunion, and especially post-Tombstone. Anyway-

Now we get to Smash and Grab. Not literally even though I want to Commit Such Conduct at this point. We are introduced to two one off characters named

Smash (human/female presenting) - can crack any safe built by man

and Grab (demon/male presenting)- expert in bypassing supernatural security.

Reaching or no, you can’t disagree that when spn introduces one off characters - it is almost always a Narrative Parallel or Mirror.

So we have a human and a demon (and Dean Winchester, a human who has been a demon)

who are experts in cracking open/bypassing something that has been secured and guarded (breaking down walls, if you will).

They also use fake names identifying them as Tools to be Used ( Dean Winchester, the Michael Sword/daddys blunt little instrument)

BONUS:

Dean himself is literally used as a tool in this episode.

So yeah. Smash and Grab are physical representations of Dean’s duality. Human/Demon. Femininity/Masculinity. Dare we say something else, too?

Anyway, Dean is paired with Smash and Grab; Sam is off to idk negotiate weird artifact purchases lawboy style with Luther Shrike, a man who cannot die so long as he never leaves his house (I cannot even begin to unpack this shit; please just sit there and think about it. I’m not even going there here. I CANNOT DISCUSS Luther Shrike RN).

Speaking of things I cannot discuss without halgdhsag;lsa - Smash has very Specific boots (a look overall, really).

DEAN

Hey, Winona. The '90s called. They'd like their shoes back. SMASH

Shh.

***That’s right girl - do not take his shit; he actually LOVES them and is therefore Overcompensating for it with this little jab.

***Dean’s pop culture references and particular attention to the details here Should Not Be Overlooked. 90s! Winona! Ryder!

ANYWAY, then Dean and Smash bond over a caffeinated beverage -

[While Dean is doing a spell, Smash opens a can of drink, takes a mouthful and burps loudly. ] SMASH

Ahh. DEAN

You're weird.

***This scene makes me literally insane. (even aside from Dean living on something named NERVE DAMAGE as a KID. They could have called it anything. You’re saying this wasn’t a Choice)

She chugs a swallow of the drink and burps. Something stereotypically associated with masculinity. Not feminine. Dean’s reaction is that she is “weird” - because she is not acting in a way stereotypically, J*hn Winchester brain-rot patriarchy bullshit-tily associated with Being Female. But also, says the stupid show, they like the same soda. They are The Same. She shares the soda with Dean. HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES -

Other similarities are addressed throughout the episode (they are working for demons because they have no choice; they don’t discuss feelings/emotions, they both sold their soul, they both This Thing -

DEAN

You know, we could help you. SMASH

No, you can't. I gotta take care of me.

etc. etc.) Smash is absolutely dean-coded.

****Also it’s textually established that Smash thinks Dean is attractive -

GRAB

[looking at Smash] Oh. You said he was just a pretty face. SMASH

Shh.

***But Grab flirts with him too.

DEAN

I will kill you. GRAB

I bet you say that to all the girls.

***sorry, Grab - you won’t get far with Dean, but only because as he mentioned in the beginning of this episode -

Drowley rights.

Now Dean has to put his hand in the mouth of this stone lion thing and all of a sudden he is acting....very-not-like-Dean.

[Dean looks again and takes a deep breath.] DEAN

I… how about this? What if I cut myself, put it on, like, a little piece of paper? We'll just wad it up and throw it in the mouth, okay? Okay.

***Dean Winchester, who has been to Literal HELL, who has been torn apart by hellhounds, who has battled the devil and angels and God’s sister - all at the expense of his own life is now - afraid of spiders. Well, technically he has always been afraid of spiders, but why isn’t ‘he being performative about it At This Time??

***Come to think of it, this sends me right back to how Jackles was playing Dean in 12x11 Regarding Dean THE episode dissecting Dean’s performative masculinity [one day I will clean up and post that analysis sitting in my drafts like a sad hamster]. That makes sense actually, because -> -> ->

that episode and this one are both written by Meredith Glynn. Girl get in I want to torture you affectionately with a barrage of questions.

So here we have Dean and he’s not performing for Reasons, and he’s scared he’s genuinely scared of putting his hand in this stone lion-gargoyle-pig-creature’s mouth and then -

Smash gives him a push.

She gives him a push. I cannot stop thinking about how she gives him a push. A push to go do this thing that he is scared of; his fear being something he was hiding under his performative masculinity. Smash - dean coded dean mirror who does not perform femininity and is ‘weird’ - she gives him a p u s h.

***linking here for the jackting joices that follow.

Now, let’s circle back to Smash’s story; why she is working for Bart in the first place -

SMASH

You think I wanna be here? Like I have a choice? SAM

You made a deal. SMASH

Wow! You think? SAM

You sold your soul. SMASH

And if I could take it back, I would.

there is no reason for this picture here other than I needed you to see the jackting again

***How does the story end for Smash?

DEAN

Take care of you. [Dean glances down at the box, and then at Smash. She sees that Dean has put a lighter on top of the bones.] BARTHAMUS

Alice, chop chop!

[Bart indicates she should get his bones]. SMASH

Yeah. [She grabs the lighter and sets Bart's bones alight. Bart screams as he bursts into flames. ]

***She accepts help and breaks free from the narrative, literally burning it down. The female presenting but not female-performing “weird” ooc representing a side of Dean breaks FREE because she makes a choice. The lighter Dean drops? It’s a push. And she goes with it.

Alice reclaims her story.

(Also, Grab gets ganked. The male presenting ooc; the performative masculinity side; the demon; the darkness; the not-humanity - gets ganked).

Guess what Dean says to Alice when they say goodbye?

DEAN

Hey, Alice. Stay weird.

[I know the peace sign is probably just a Charlie throwback but I’d still like to say duality. Two. ]

Dean’s not just talking to Alice. He’s talking to himself; because the walls have been breached and for once Dean isn’t as scared of being different. Maybe, just maybe, he’s going along with the push. That’s exactly how the episode ends - with Dean feeling a little more hopeful, a little more at peace; a little more Considering he is capable of not only loving Cas but also not hating himself for it.

[until the knowledge that Mary is still alive and the guilt of allowing himself ANY happy thoughts instead of looking for her miserably rears its ugly head in 13x09 and round and round we go but for NOW at least -> ]

DEAN

I'll drink to that.

(oh look Dean is just wearing his henley. It’s almost as if a layer has been peeled back).

tagging @im-shaking-like-milk and @deanwasalwaysbi for letting me ramble on to them while writing this; and @lilac-void because you are always so kind about my stuff :)

#my spn meta #spn analysis #spn 13x08 #bi!dean #destiel #deancas #hellerism #spn #supernatural #spn fandom #spn family #spn meta

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

Text

mtmte liveblog issue 19

it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers

we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]

tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man

‘the divided self’ what a good title

rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in

in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything

oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that

oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him

its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life

augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic

its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure

I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?

augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d

oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing

tailgate :(

the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much

it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT

oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world

mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess

the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’

I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY

and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!

oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...

aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm

finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six

hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo

and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified

I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy

ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands

ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this

I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced

back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD

the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild

‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes

FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD

pharma you piece of shit

poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus

and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be

then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him

and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots

circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals

poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia

OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here

that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’

cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans

BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore

jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk

the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting

AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history

in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans

additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science

like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao

like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh

anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later

so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real

cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you

also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed???

ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!

MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO

‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH

poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez

oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...

hype af for more B)

#lj rereads mtmte

2 notes · View notes

solcheeky · 5 years ago

Text

break a leg arm

summary: mark breaks his arm and a cast is all he needs as an excuse to get you to do everything for him

warnings: mature content insinuated, strong language

a/n: I literally went thru a heck load of his tweets to see what he was like through text lmfao also this is a remake! insp from sheep

[1 Missed Call] broccoli johnny 8:56PM

[New Message] from broccoli johnny 9:00PM, hey

[broccoli johnny] 9:00PM, I know its kind of late but

[broccoli johnny] 9:01PM, mark’s in the ER right now, you busy?

[you] 9:05PM, wtf

[you] 9:05PM, where

[you] 9:05PM, why

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, nothing serious dw

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, we’re in seoul national

[you] 9:07PM, okay im coming

[broccoli johnny] 9:07PM, mind coming over?

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, oh

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, lol cool cool

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, just text me when you get here :-)

[you] 9:34PM, I’m here where are you?

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, hold on

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, jae cant get his drink out of the vending machine

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, we’ll meet u in the lobby in a sec

[you] 9:36PM, jaehyun you are a grown man

[broccoli johnny] 9:36PM, jae said hes not going to share his drink with you now

[New Message] from lioncub 11:45PM, Sorry for making you worry haha and thank you for coming over so fast

[lioncub] 11:45PM, You home ssfe yet?

[lioncub] 11:45PM, *Safe

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Damn this whole cast on my arm thing is really getting in the way haha

[you] 11:46PM, always<3 and yea I am :) you?

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Yeah, everyone’s in bed. Johnjae’s about to leave

[you] 11:46PM, nice

[you] 11:47PM, tell jaehyun that I hope he falls over

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Woah hahahaha

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Is this because he didn’t share his drink with you?

[you] 11:48PM, it was the last one left >:( and the traitor drank it all >:((

[lioncub] 11:50PM, Haha

[you] 11:50PM, >:(

[lioncub] 11:51PM, You’re so cute

[you] 11:51PM, wow you type so slow

[lioncub] 11:51PM, I brokr my ar, !!!

[you] 11:51PM, yikes

[lioncub] 11:52PM, Dude dp you want me to type fast or not?

[you] 11:52PM, you’ll make mistakes either way��

[lioncub] 11:52PM, *Do

[lioncub] 11:53PM, Hahaha very funny lool

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Come on babr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Basbr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Babve

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Damn. *babe

[you] 11:54PM, just. don’t text me anymore .

[lioncub] 11:55PM, Wait what !!!!!

[lioncub] 11:55PM, But my cast wont br off for weeks!!

[lioncub] 11:56PM, Babe !

[lioncub] 11:56PM, D: !!

[you] 11:56PM, I meant that like..... ‘call me’ you dummy

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oh

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oops

[Incoming Call] lioncub 11:58PM

[New Message] from marks arm 1:12PM, They left me at home :/

[marks arm] 1:12PM, All alone

[marks arm] 1:13PM, And I’m bored :/

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Bee

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Oh

[marks arm] 1:14PM, Are

[marks arm] 1:14PM, D

[marks arm] 1:14PM, b o r e d

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe?

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Ba b e

[Missed Video Call] marks arm 1:17PM

[you] 1:21PM, oh shit sory just came out yhe shower

[marks arm] 1:22PM, Oh lool sorry

[marks arm] 1:22PM, You going out somewhere?

[marks arm] 1:23PM, OH are you coming over? :0

[you] 1:23PM, huh? no

[you] 1:23PM, lmfao gotta go to the supermarket

[marks arm] 1:24PM, Is that code for my dorm?

[you] 1:24PM, uh

[you] 1:24PM, what

[marks arm] 1:25PM, Super-MARK-et

[marks arm] 1:25PM, 😏😏😏

[you] 1:25PM, …………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Dude. You can’t tell me that wanst funny

[you] 1:26PM, ……………………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Comn on man. That was pretty funny!!!

[marks arm] 1:27PM, *Wasn’t *Come

[marks arm] 1:27PM, 😏😏😏 ???

[you] 1:27PM, I’m not coming over just because you made a ‘good’ joke

[marks arm] 1:28PM, Hahahahaha! babe please!!

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I’m so fucking bored~

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I have thid dumbass cast on now and the boys wont be back till waaayy later

[marks arm] 1:29PM, *This

[marks arm] 1:30PM, It’s not like I can take the cast off. But you can keep me company!!

[marks arm] 1:30PM, Pretty please🥺

[you] 1:30PM, but I gotta go shop D:

[marks arm] 1:31PM, Oh right. yeah lol

[marks arm] 1:31PM, but you can come over after?😏

[you] 1:31PM, hmmmmmm

[marks arm] 1:32PM, No one’s home😏 and

[marks arm]1:32PM, and Iwanttohugyou

[marks arm] 1:33PM, Plus I promise I won’t hug you with my casr haha

[marks arm] 1:33PM, *Cast

[you] 1:33PM, cute

[marks arm] 1:34PM, Did.. Did you not just hear what I said?

[marks arm] 1:34PM, No one’s home !!!

[you] 1:35PM, fine :[

[you] 1:35PM, but after I shop :>

[marks arm] 1:36PM, Alright nice haha. After you shop. Got it !

[New Message] from marks arm 1:45PM, Can you get me snacks??

[marks arm] 1:49PM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!

[you] 8:03PM, can’t believe I bought you snacks for that

[marks arm] 8:04PM, It was the cast!! I swear !!

[marks arm] 8:04PM, You weren’t the only one uncomfortable >:( I can’t hold myself up over you when my arm is broken lool

[you] 8:05PM, I’m taking your lap next time🙄

[marks arm] 8:05PM, Oh woah

[you] 8:06PM, ‘woah’ what?

[marks arm] 8:06PM, :0

[marks arm] 8:06PM, Woah nothing. Hahahaha

[you] 8:06PM, okay well,,, save your lap for me next time

[marks arm] 8:07PM, lol okay

[marks arm] 8:07PM, Next time.

[marks arm] 8:07PM, I like that

[New Message] from marker 2:20AM, You awake?

[you] 2:21AM, no

[marker] 2:21AM, Oh okay nevermind then

[you] 2:22AM, …

[you] 2:22AM, uh mark

[marker] 2:23AM, Wait a minute

[you] 2:23AM, there we go😂😂

[marker] 2:23AM, ;/

[you] 2:23AM, LOL whats up? its 2am🤔dont you have to go studio in the morning🤔

[marker] 2:24AM, Yeah :/ but my arm hurts ;/

[you] 2:24AM, badly?

[marker] 2:25AM, Mhm :(

[marker] 2:25AM, I cant sleep :(( it hurts :/ like actually really hurts

[you] 2:25AM, lemme get back to you in 7 years after I get my doctors licence

[marker] 2:26AM, Hahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:26AM, Can you get back to me in 3secs as my bestfriend instead?

[you] 2:26AM, touché

[marker] 2:26AM, Haha

[marker] 2:27AM, Let me video call you?

[you] 2:27AM, doyoung is asleep though

[marker] 2:27AM, Yeaahh

[marker] 2:28AM, But I wantf to see you :(

[you] 2:28AM, you saw me today ?

[marker] 2:28AM, It wasnt enough :(

[you] 2:29AM, are you okay??

[marker] 2:29AM, Yeah! I am! I just

[marker] 2:29AM, idk

[marker] 2:29AM, Seeing you makesd me feel better

[you] 2:29AM, cute

[marker] 2:29AM, Shutup man

[marker] 2:30AM, Just let me call youuu

[you] 2:30AM, hm

[you] 2:31AM, fine

[you] 2:31AM, this is my way of making up for my lack of a doctors licence

[marker] 2:31AM, hahahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:31AM, I’m gonna wake up doyoung laughing like this

[you] 2:32AM, lmao pls dont blame me when he whoops your ass in the morning

[marker] 2:32AM, I wont :)

[Incoming Call] marks arm 2:33AM

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[doyoung]: Mark looks like a sardine that was left to dry out in the sun for 12 days

[marker]: Hey man

[marker]: Thats just mean

[fullsun]: not mean, just the truth💅🏼

[doyoung]: It’s because he was up all night talking to you know who👀

[mr peach]: exposed

[you]: mark you said doyoung was a heavy sleeper

[doyoung]: He lied.

[marker]: We werent that loud man

[nakamoto]: I could hear mark from my bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: *our bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: and no we couldn’t

[nakamoto]: I did👀

[broccolli johnny]: all yuta does is lie lmfao

[marker]: How??!!?

[marker]: Your bedroom is upstairs!!!

[junguwu]: ? I couldnt hear them ??? and I’m next door

[nakamoto]: if I was upstairs then explain to me how I heard y/n complaining about how mark farts too much🤔🤔🤔

[marker]: Oh my god

[broccoli johnny]: LMFAAAOO

[junguwu]: HAHAH HAHAHAHAH

[mr peach]: this again LOL

[you]: I still can’t believe they let you talk about marks farts in your tmi vids

[oldman]: 😂😂😂😂😂oh no

[fullsun]: the dried sardine has got some explaining to do👀

[marker]: Dude its not true!!! I swear !!!!!!

[you]: a little bit true

[doyoung]: ✋also a witness

[marker]: >:0

[marker]: Fucking betrayers!!!!!!!

[marker]: Johnny tell them its not true !!!

[broccoli johnny]: my hands are tied bro🤗

[marker]: whAT

[marker]: Jaehyun?!

[mr peach]: its not true.

[doyoung]: Way to sound believable🙄

[nakamoto]: word on the street y/n is tired of mark never saying sorry or excusing himself from farting🤧

[marker]: You guys are just big bullies man

[marker]: Sicheng man you’re the only one I have left😭

[let’s winwin!]: lol no

[fullsun]: yuta may be lying about hearing yall last night but👀

[fullsun]: the fart thing is true👀

[nakamoto]: i rest my case

[broccoli johnny]: one day mark is gonna fart and it’ll poison you all

[nakamoto]: I heard hes poisoned a couple of people already🧐

[marker]: DUDE

[New Message] from mark LEE 10:11AM, Hey can I ask you something?

[you] 10:12AM, sure whats up?

[you] 10:12AM, you okay?

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, So um ;//

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, My farts dont annoy you do they?

[you] 10:14AM, LOL mARK

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, What ?! what!!!!

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, I’m serious!!!

[you] 10:15AM, its been like 3 days since that conversation

[mark LEE] 10:15AM, And I havent been able to fart in front of you since!!

[you] 10:15AM, LMAAOOO MARKKKK

[mark LEE] 10:16AM, Babe I’m deadass!!!

[you] 10:16AM, yuta was just joking stupid

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, :/

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, I know

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, But

[you] 10:18AM, but?

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, I fart

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, like

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, a lot

[you] 10:19AM, omg mark

[you] 10:19AM, it doesnt matter!! I think its cute

[mark LEE] 10:19AM, What?!

[you] 10:19AM, when you fart youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you sneeze youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you talk youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, even when you just breathe youre fucking cute

[you] 10:20AM, I dont care about your farts

[mark LEE] 10:21AM, You’re weird

[you] 10:21AM, ask the groupchat if you dont believe me

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[marker]: Anyways guys

[junguwu]: ya

[marker]: Am I cute?

[fullsun]: no

[New Message] from cute idiot 9:37PM, Where are you?

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, Babe

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, The bath is gonna get cold man

[you] 9:40PM, we got a problem

[cute idiot] 9:40PM, What? No lighter? Not even matchsticks?

[you] 9:40PM, johnjae are here

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, !???!?!?!?!!!

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, whAT

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Like in the dorm here?!?!??

[you] 9:41PM, yea you dummy

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Shit whAT

[you] 9:42PM, wtf happened to ‘no one is coming home till late today’ !???!!

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR OMG

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, wHAT DID U SAY TO THEM

[you] 9:43PM, I look like a psycho mark

[cute idiot] 9:43PM, tHATS WHAT YOU SAID?

[you] 9:43PM, nO

[you] 9:44PM, they caught me… in the kitchen…. going through the drawers

[you] 9:44PM, with just your tshirt on…

[you] 9:44PM, my hair is wet af mark

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, oh god

[you] 9:45PM, how was i supposed to explain myself ?!

[you] 9:45PM, tell them my hair is wet because I just climbed out of the bath i was sharing with their roommate ?!!?

[you] 9:45PM, tell them i needed something to light the candles beside the fucking bubble bath ?!??

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, Shit shit shit

[you] 9:46PM, and all because you couldnt get out of the tub without injuring your broken-arm ??!

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my gof

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Please tell me that is not what you said

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, This is so embarrassing

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Dude

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Why arnet you answering?!?!

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, What the fuc do I do

[you] 9:48PM, hold on theyre talking to me

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, I’m freakinghout

[you] 9:48PM, apparently theyre back early because they need to go prerecord nct nightnight

[you] 9:48PM, johnny needed to pick something up on the way

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Oh god

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Whdt do I do?!

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Do I getr out!?

[you] 9:49PM, told them you were showering

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Okay I’m turning on the shower

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, You know

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, For soubnd effects

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit man shitr

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wait

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wb you?!

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, You didn’t dry yourself. Dude you didn’t even bring a towel

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, Hwo you gonna explain

[you] 9:51PM, told them your dumbass slipped

[you] 9:51PM, and I had to help you because of your arm

[you] 9:51PM, wait brb

[cute idiot] 9:51PM, Nooo dont brb me

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, I feel exposed now

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the worst

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the WORST

[cute idiot] 9:53PM, Babe?

[you] 9:57PM, okay theyre gone😪😪

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Thank god

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Did they believe you?

[you] 9:58PM, I fucking hope so

[you] 9:58PM, I’m coming back

[cute idiot] 9:58PM, Be quick ;/ I kinda made a mess

[[foreign swaggers💯💯💯]]

[sexy boi ten]: just out of curiosity🧐

[sexy boi ten]: who here loves bubble baths?

[johns banana]: hmmmmmm idk man🤔 good question🤔

[jeffrey]: 😂😂😂

[kark]: Oh my god

[sexy boi ten]: I think one of us is a bubble bath enthusiast

[sexy boi ten]: but I just cant put my finger on it🧐

[kark]: Can’t believe you told ten

[johns banana]: told him what🤔🤔

[kark]: Don’t lie to me bro

[sexy boi ten]: i think youre the only one lying here

[kark]: 😨😨😨

[kark]: Jaehyun please help me

[jeffrey]: I heard there were candles

[kark]: 😧

[johns banana]: candles ?! 🤔 oh gasp🤧

[sexy boi ten]: so this is what you get up to when no ones around

[kark]: hahahaha noooo

[kark]: youre making it sound super weird man !!

[jeffrey]: lmfaaooo

[sexy boi ten]: this whole broken limb thing doesnt seem so bad now

[kark]: we didnt /do/ anything

[sexy boi ten]: why?😏 were you supposed have done something? 😏😏

[kark]: hahaha oh my god

[johns banana]: what are you tryna say mark🤗

[kark]: dude !!!!!!!

[kark]: youre all making this way weirder than it already is man

[jeffrey]: arent you the one making it weird?

[sexy boi ten]: johnny break my arm so i can get a bubble bath

[johns banana]: you dont have a girlfriend

[sexy boi ten]: i know

[sexy boi ten]: but i could have a boyfriend

[jeffrey]: you dont have a boyfriend either

[sexy boi ten]: then can you run me a bubble bath instead😘😘😘😘

[kark]: what

[johns banana]: depends… do I get to join

[kark]: wHAT

[johns banana]: I’ll be the mark to your y/n

[jeffrey]: this is going in my TMI

[New Message] from marks arm 4:15PM, They keep teasing me about the bath thing

[you] 4:15PM, so no more baths together?

[marks arm] 4:16PM, I didn’t say that........

[New Message] from bunny doyoung 6:47PM, Change of plans

[bunny doyoung] 6:47PM, He’s already on the way to yours

[you] 6:48PM, what?!

[you] 6:48PM, I was about to leave

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Sorry I couldnt stop him

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Said there’s too many of us in the dorm at the moment lmao

[bunny doyoung] 6:50PM, He’s such a kid

[you] 6:50PM, ffs mark

[you] 6:51PM, thanks do

[bunny doyoung] 6:51PM, Of course

[you] 6:53PM, mark wth

[you] 6:53PM, doyoung said youre coming here

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, Sorry baby

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, It’s way too hectic back there

[you] 6:56PM, you know I dont mind

[marks eggs] 6:56PM, I do this time

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I want alone time with you

[you] 6:57PM, but I made food for the boys

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I’ll eat it all :)

[you] 6:58PM, marrrrrkk

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Too late I’m outside

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Open up

[New Message] ty track 1:00AM, He’s not coming back tonight is he?

[you] 1:01AM, defo not

[you] 1:01AM, hes asleep on my lap atm

[ty track] 1:02AM, Sigh

[ty track] 1:02AM, Fine, make sure he wakes up early

[ty track] 1:03AM, He has to be back by 7am, we have a shoot in the morning

[you] 1:03AM, okay sure thing

[ty track] 1:03AM, Get some rest too

[you] 1:04AM, thanks tae you too💚

[ty track] 1:04AM, Goodnight💚

[you] 1:05AM, night :)

[[dreamies but not rlly]]

[pudu]: what time did you say you were going to come over again?

[you]: before 10 why?

[pudu]: because marks trying to break up renjun and jaemin from wrestling

[pudu]: with one arm

[jenojam]: is that what all that yelling is?

[you]: hyuck

[you]: why are you texting me when you can help him out

[pudu]: y/n thats a dumb question and you know it

[dolphinle]: such a dumb question

[you]: why arent any of you doing anything????????

[pudu]: why dont you just come over sooner ^^

[you]: hyuck I cant I’m running errands atm

[dolphinle]: see y/n is running errands hyung

[you]: thanks chenle

[pudu]: shutup chenle

[you]: wheres jisung

[jisung park]: staying out of the mess

[you]: good.

[you]: one less dreamie to worry about

[jisung park]: youre welcome

[pudu]: okay they stopped play fighting :/

[jenojam]: because mark says his arm hurts

[you]: you guys are the worst

[pudu]: *best

[moomin]: you guys are snitches

[dolphinle]: and snitches get stitches

[jaemin<3]: renjun broke my neck

[moomin]: did not

[moomin]: your stupid neck happened to fall into my hands

[pudu]: LMAOO

[jaemin<3]: :0 can u believe this

[you]: is mark okay?

[jenojam]: no

[mark sucks]: Yes

[mark sucks]: hahahaha just carry on with your errands and come at 10 I have this unser contrl

[mark sucks]: *Under

[mark sucks]: *Control

[pudu]: HAHA what lies

[jisung park]: hyung doesnt have anything under control

[jaemin<3]: youre not going to ask if I’m okay? :(

[moomin]: jaemin ur still breathing right?

[moomin]: yea thats what I thought

[dolphinle]: ye thats what he thought

[jaemin<3]: I didnt even say anything yet!!

[pudu]: LMFAAOO

[you]: jeno help

[jenojam]: je-no thank you

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[tytrack]: well then who was it?

[nakamoto]: I think johnny was the last one to use the vacuum

[marker]: Babe can you pick up a box on the way ;/ we ranm out lastr night

[nakamoto]: .................

[fullsun]: well okay. this was fun. g2g. forever. ✌️✌️✌️

[doyoung]: Only mark would do this.

[nakamoto]: 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[doyoung]: Seriously only mark.

[marker]: Shit!!!

[marker]: Fucvbk man

[you]: wrong chat you fat loser

[canada mark] 7:00PM, Shit baby I’m so soryr

[you] 7:00PM, you’re the biggest dummy😂😂😂

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[junguwu]: a box of what?

[tytrack]: what the fuck mark

[junguwu]: oh

[marker]: Dude I didn’t mean to!!!

[broccoli johnny]: this is why he left the dorm so quick lmfao

[marker]: Baby I’m so so so sorry I’ll make it up for you tonight

[junguwu]: :0

[you] 7:05PM, wRONG CHAT AGAIN STUPID

[canada mark] 7:05PM, FCUK

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[nakamoto]: jc mark🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fullsun]: can we push the gc name into full gear now?

[fullsun]: it’s no longer a joke.

[marker]: IM IN SO MANY GROUPCHATS ITS HARD OKAY

[you] 7:07PM, you’re lucky you have a broken arm or else

[canada mark] 7:08PM, Dude I’m so sorry. Like really.

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I was rushing in case you left the store already ;/ sorry :(

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I’ll do whatever you want ! promise.

[you] 7:09PM, you can barely do anything with that broken arm stupid

[you] 7:09PM, its okay😂

[canada mark] 7:09PM, Really?

[you] 7:10PM, lets just say you owe me one

‘you changed [canada mark] to [stupid mark]’

[stupid mark] 7:11PM, Yeah okay. I deserve that one.

[New Message] from stupid mark 7:24AM, Can I call you?

[stupid mark] 7:24AM, I seriously hate texting ;/

[you] 7:25AM, is it because of the wrong groupchat thing or your cast?

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, ......both lol

[you] 7:25AM, okay but I’m in bed bby its so early

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Perfect!! then you don’t have to move !

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Just close your eyes and talk to me :^)

[you] 7:26AM, you can talk to everyone else whos awake :^)

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Everyones getting their hair done and stuff

[stupid mark] 7:26AM, And I’m handicapped let me call you.

[you] 7:26AM, wooooow ‘handicapped’ you can’t text me

[Incoming Video Call] stupid mark 7:26PM

[stupid mark] 7:2APM, Pick up!! please!!

[New Message] from sore loser 11:20PM, :((((

[you] 11:21PM, mark?

[you] 11:21PM, whats wrong?

[sore loser] 11:22PM, Do you want to come with me to the doctors get my cast off tomorrow?

[you] 11:22PM, huh????

[you] 11:22PM, I mean yeah sure but

[you] 11:22PM, whats with the sad face?

[sore loser] 11:23PM, No! I’m happy! but sad ;/

[sore loser] 11:23PM, I get to be on stage again but ;( I can’t play damsel in distress anymore haha

[sore loser] 11:23PM, If I call you over, you’ll still come right?

[you] 11:24PM, depends.........

[sore loser] 11:24PM, See!!

[you] 11:24PM, I’m just kidding lmao

[sore loser] 11:24PM, Oh

[sore loser] 11:24PM, So... You’ll still shampoo my hair sometimes? ;/ or like sit on my lap,,and stuff ;/// ??

[you] 11:25PM, you know I’ll do all those things regardless whether your arm is broken or not

[sore loser] 11:25PM, You’re the best

[you] 11:25PM, plus you still owe me one :^)

[sore loser] 11:25PM, Oh yeah! I do !!

‘you changed [sore loser] to [<3]’

[<3] 11:26PM, Hahaha cute

[<3] 11:26PM, Okay :))))

[<3] 11:26PM, I’ll give you what I owe you tomorrow after we go doctors ;) <3

[you] 11:27PM, perfect

[<3] 11:27PM, Yeah, perfect :))

[New Message] from <3 9:34AM, Yeah, oops. Not so perfect..... omg I’m sorry

[you] 9:34AM, yeah your arm is like jelly its weird

[<3] 9:34AM, Hahahahaha

[<3] 9:34AM, In three weeks then?

[New Message] from <3 9:36AM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!!!!!!

[You are Video Calling <3 ...] 9:36AM

#mark lee #mark lee texts #mark lee scenarios #mark lee sns #mark lee fic #mark lee imagine #mark lee scenario #mark lee fluff #mark lee fanfic

447 notes · View notes

quackspot · 4 years ago

Note

i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me”

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful.

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground.

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??”

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.”

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could.

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed.

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs.

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????”

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca. ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.”

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC #like i went broader then refocused in at the end #so if you want the basics its just. right at the end #my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine #melon-official

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macklives · 5 years ago

Text

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

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lonelyshrimp · 5 years ago

Note

What happened with your roomies if you don’t mind me asking...?

Yknow what I’m in a mood and they don’t know my tumblr (haha they think I’m a cisstraight girl lol) so let’s get into some shit. Imma put everything under a read more bc imma rant a bit and this is gonna get long.

TW: food, unsanitary (general things not being kept clean, typically bathroom and kitchen related), drug use, fighting, slurs

tl;dr if you dont feel like reading this beast:

They steal what food i dare leave out in the kitchen rather tan keep in my room

They slam doors excessively, fight, yell horrible things to each other, have friends over yelling at like 2 am (last night for example)

Leave the doors unlocked and open?? We cant even lock the front door anymore??? (Dw the doors to our rooms all have locks. If I’m in my room or out of the house, my door is locked)

Constantly throw around the r slur. Like. All the time. Including one person having called me it. Y i k e s

One person keeps smoking in the house even though i’ve asked numerous times (and even have a note on my door) asking people to please smoke outside, it gives me headaches. You are physically hurting me stop.

Don’t Clean Anything. The kitchen is a wreck. The toilets are constantly clogging, I Am In Hell.

For context: the house is a one story house divided into a main floor and finished basement. It’s a rooming house and the basement is largely seperate from upstairs. (They have a kitchen door that they keep closed and locked.) The stairs to the basement are split into two smaller flights, with a landing in between the floors. That’s where the side door is. The public spaces upstairs are the kitchen (connects to stairs), the hallway, and the two bathrooms (big main one, tiny water closet by the front door). The rest of the upstairs is split into five rooms. For comprehension sake, we’ll call my roommates: The Couple (M&F), A, T, and J.

Mmkay lets start with the least egregious and move our way up, shall we? Theft! Of anything and everything! No one can have anything out in the public areas if they actually care about it. It. Will. Get. Stolen. Now, I have a mini fridge and the second biggest room here, so I’m lucky in that 99% of my groceries, as well as all my other belongings, fit in my room. There’s just a wee problem: I don’t have a freezer. Not to fear, past naïve me thought, I’ll just clean out and use the locked freezer since I still have the keys for that fridge! (We have two fridges and food theft was a problem beforehand and so me and my friend who lived here cleaned out the second fridge to use as our own and kept it locked.) I decided to do this after I had bought myself some ice cream, wrote my name on the top, and put it in the main freezer. I go to have some ice cream later that week, I open the tub for the first time (as in I removed the seal holding the lid onto the tub) to find that someone eaten half the tub of ice cream while making it seem like it hadn’t been opened. I know it happened at home bc the spoon marks were clear as day and I have to walk 20 minutes back from the grocery store. That woulda melted by then (Also I would’ve noticed at the store that. The tub was hella lopsided??? And way too light???) So yea of course I’m ticked now, I spent 6 bucks on that bro like just ask or get ur own??? So I put it the other freezer, and for a while it’s fine. Next month I decide to treat myself to some frozen waffles and some chicken strips and come home to find that the hinges holding the locks onto the doors of the fridge were torn out of the fridge/freezer doors. Like. The screws were pried outta this metal door rendering the locks completely useless (to the point i wouldn’t even be able to put the hinges back on.) And the cherry on top?? My ice cream was gone!!! Hope u enjoyed it, asshole. So whatever. Fine. I put my food away and. a week later?? Im like “Man i could go for some waffles rn”. I bought 2 8 packs. One chocolate chip, one cinnamon (y’all i literally buy the cheapest ones Zehrs sells. 2,19$ a box y’all. not even eggos). Surprise surprise!! The entire box of choccy chip ones GONE. Mind u, i wrote my name on all of these boxes, as well as a very large “DO NOT EAT”. so i begrudgingly had a couple (note that, 2) cinnamon waffles and move on. A couple days later I go to have some more and. The waffles are completely gone. Out of a total of 16 waffles, ya boy got a solid 2. (It’s worth noting that there was a single waffle left, but at 0,27$ a waffle, I didn’t mind leaving the box on the table with a note basically reading “these are cheap af, buy ur own bitch”.) (I didn’t swear that much tho)

I’d add the bike to the list but i can’t confirm nor deny that one of my roommates stole my tires and seat off my bike (although M does work on bikes all the time so man idk.)

Next up: wow people here are l o u d. I’m talking slamming doors all the time, slamming things around, yelling, playing music wildly loud. It’s awful. Like. You can just. Close the door quietly? Stop slamming things around please? It’s awful because loud sudden noises make me panic and lemme tell ya, wakin up at eight am bc your a-hole roommate decided to slam the door eight times bc the front door is broken because someone took the border around the jamb off instead of fixing it so we can actually?? lock that door?? because it doesnt quite fit in the jamb and so the only wat to lock it was the chain lock and. someone took that too so thats fun :)))))). The side door isn’t that much better. We have a code lock and. No One Ever Locks It. Like. I’ll come outta room and?? It’s just open????? Close the door???????????

The worst, however, is the fucking fighting. The Couple love to argue all the time. and yell at each other and slam the doors or smashing shit and they yell pretty awful things to each other. Like. I’ve heard M call his gf some awful shit. It’s worse when they have people over too. The other day there were like. 14 cops in here bc of them at like 2 am. Cue me, 2 am, trying to watch a livestream and seeing like??? Six cop cars pull up????? Wh a t????? Not fun not good for my brain.

God and. What is with everyone and the r slur??? Like what?? there are so many words you can choose stop using that word. Like okay the other night someone?? took the dc adapter for the wireless modem and one of the dudes downstairs as well as the couple were looking to see if they had a compatible dc adapter and so i just decided to wait?? and i just spaced out a bit okay whatever i was lookin at the wall like i do and fuckin. the couple had a couple friends over and one of em was chillin between the kitchen and the hall and M yells out from his room “Hey don’t you feel weird with this creepy ass bitch standing next to you? Like what is she, m*ntally r*tarded?” like wow okay dude i’m literally not doing anything. Luckily his friends reaction was basically “?? She lives here?? She can stand there if she wants??” (wow referring to myself as she feels weird and wrong).

A big problem I have is I feel like theres a community in this house that I just don’t fit into? Part of it is I’m like. the only person here who doesn’t do drugs of any kind?? Like I have nothing against ppl who use drugs like whatever bro, but it feels super othering to me when i can’t relate to anyone here because of it. That and. Getting T in particular but really just anyone but A to respect me asking that if you’re going to smoke anything to do it outside because weed and to a lesser extent cigarette smoke trigger my sensory disorder and causes me pain and causes sensory overload and I still find myself asking people to smoke outside.Like I’ve never been unreasonable and said “no drugs in the house” or some bs. I’m just asking u to respect my disability thanks.And like?? I’ll get into this in a second but there were needles in the toilet?? Bro throw them out properly.

And now: Hell.

Can no one clean up after themselves?? Do your dishes. If theres food left on your plate, throw it out first, don’t dump it in the sink. Seriously the kitchen sink is fucked. The kitchen is gross. The microwave ugh ugh ugh no thanks. No one can clean everything. This is why all my cookware and dishes are in my room. That way I can make sure I 1) Still Own It and 2) Its clean and usable. I clean them as I go and just use my own shit.

Nothing compares to the bathrooms, though. It seems like every other day one of the toilets are clogged. Last week there were spoons in the sink?? Like at least 10 spoons. In the bathroom sink. The floor is dirty because no one owns a mop and?? there was one in the kitchen?? I haven’t seen it in like a month. And the worst of all. Okay, it’s really bad when every one up here is between like. 16 and 19 I think? And I had to put up a sign in the bathroom asking people to flush when you’re done??? And I still have to flush before I can use the washroom???? And it feels like every week or so. The toilet’s clogged. Oh! I forgot to mention that the water closet doesn’t even have a doorknob anymore. Someone took it. But wait, it gets worse. Seriously if extremely unsanitary things bother u, stop reading now.

Twice in the past month I’ve had to contact the landlord because the toilets were beyond clogged. The first time was bad but oh lord nothing compares to the second time (aka last week). The first time was your pretty standard toilet clogs and backs up and its very gross. I contacted the landlord and it was fixed the next day and it was fine. For. Two Days. Im serious. See. People here have a real issue it seems of “The person before me didn’t flush so neither will I”, leading to a toilet bowl full of like. a half a roll of toilet paper and waste. F u n. What that led to was the toilet clogging, people not doing anything about it, and continuing to use it. Eventually the toilet bowl was full, so trow a shopping bag over the lid to mark the toilet as “Out of order” and move on to the other one.Both toilets were completely unusable. I emailed the landlord and i don’t know if either they or one of the people living here contacted them, but the old landlord and old property manager were here the other day to clean them out and fix them?? and yea among all the standard waste you’d expect in a toilet, there were needles? Like buddy theres a trash can right there? I know u had the needle caps bc they were in there too. just... disgusting...

bro this is just what i can think of off the top of my head i know theres more but oh no this is so long now. just. this is a lot more detail than u wanted but i wanted to get this out of my brain??

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years ago

Text

Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)

Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:

Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.

“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”

“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”

Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.

No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.

“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”

Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.

“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”

“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”

“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”

“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”

Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.

“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”

“interesting theory. how many ya got?”

“ZERO!”

They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.

“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”

Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.

“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”

Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.

OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE

THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW

IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT

THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE

KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE

AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING

SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE

AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS

AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME

AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING ��OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE

AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!

AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA

AND HIBIKI IS NONE

THE

FUCKING

WISER

SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!

Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.

Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:

“i dunno”

Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.

This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.

“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”

Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.

“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”

“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”

Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.

“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”

This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.

Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:

“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”

“yeah”

Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.

Meanwhile...

youtube

“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”

“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”

“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”

“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”

“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”

“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”

“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”

“FOOD. NOW.”

Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.

“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”

“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”

Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?

“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”

“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”

“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”

“dont you have a girlfriend?”

“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”

“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”

“more friends...”

Meanwhile, a crisis develops.

Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.

She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.

“how the fuck is she even flying”

“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”

“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”

“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”

“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”

“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”

I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.

Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.

“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”

Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.

“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”

Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.

“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”

“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”

The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.

These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.

“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”

“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”

“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”

“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”

“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”

Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...

“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”

Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.

“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”

Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.

“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”

“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”

“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”

“JUST DIE ALREADY!”

“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”

“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”

“WITH PLEASURE!”

“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”

“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”

“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”

“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”

“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”

“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”

“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”

“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”

“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”

“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”

Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.

“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”

“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”

#symphogear #recap #comedy #anime #a lot of cuck was said here

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puzzledorange · 6 years ago

Text

OC’s Answer 15 Q’s Tag

okey i know this took a while and there are so many more tag games that I need to do, but once I take over the world i will outlaw school so i can have time to do these, so please don’t hesitate to tag me in more stuff!

I was tagged by @thatsadwriter so thanks for that!

Okay so what I’m gonna do is that P (from the Metalrifter) is answering, but both Rigby and Olsen (from stories Friends & the Universe and Life in the Rivers respectively) are also they’re butting in whenever they want. They are in Violet’s apartment house being interviewed btw.

rules: answer fifteen questions as either yourself or your ocs, then tag fifteen people

————————

what is your full name?

“Oh that’s easy. P.”

“Are you serious? You’re the one with some weird-ass nickname and you decided to take this question?” Rigby says.

“Well I don’t have any other names, do I?” P snaps back. “What about your name huh? If mine’s so flawed.”

“I never thought you’d ask.” chuckles Rigby. He tilts his head to the side and combs his hair back. “Rigby Diggins here.” P chortles.

“What’s so funny to you?” Rigby hisses.

“No matter how many times I hear your last name, I laugh.” P responds. “It sounds like a cartoon character’s.”

“Enough.” Rigby says, “Alright Olsen, hit us with your full name.”

“Oh me?” Olsen says. “Well my full name is Olsen Maegan Rivers.”

“At least SOMEBODY has a normal name here.” P says.

“Wait weren’t you technically adopted by Violet though?” Olsen asks. “You guys are technically brother and sister or something right?”

P sighs. “Yeah, I guess.”

“So what is your real full name?”

“P Patterson.”

“I’m calling you Peepa from now on.” Rigby says.

“Please don’t.”

what is your gender? “I’m a guy.” P says.

“Are you sure about that, Peepa?” Rigby teases.

“I’m this close to whooping your ass into next week.”

what does your full name mean?

“Uh, I don’t know. It just is my name.” says P.

“Why did you answer the question if that was the answer you would give” asked Rigby.

“Fine then, its over to you.” says P.

“That’s what I’m talking about! Well my name is Rigby because of my free spirit. What can I say, I’m special!”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt that.” says P. “What about you Olsen?”

“Well I looked it up, and a website said that my name meant ‘descendant’. I guess that makes sense, since my ancestor founded my hometown.”

any nicknames or other names?

“My code name is Captain Orbit, or just Orbit.” says P. “That’s what they call me up in space.”

what is your sexuality?

“Huh, I’ve actually never really thought about what kind of people I like.” P says.

“You gotta be kidding me, you’re the most boring person ever.” Rigby says. “And by the way, I’m bi.”

“What does it mean to be bi?” P asks.

“You’re joking.”

P shakes his head.

“Oh, come on!” Rigby exclaims. “Even Olsen knows what that means! How are you this royally uneducated? I thought you were Violet’s brother, but it really is evident that you two are adopted siblings.”

“Hey!” Olsen snaps his fingers. “Calm down. Jesus, you’re always a lit fuse aren’t you?”

“Lit in more ways than one.” Rigby says with a sly smile. He looks at P thinking that he would get the joke, but his humor is that of a wet towel.

where are you from?

“I’m not really sure.” says P.

“EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ANSWERS HAVE BEEN EXCEPTIONALLY SHITTY OH MY GOD I CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANY LONGER” says Rigby.

“Shut your goddamn mouth up.” P says, sending metal up to Rigby’s mouth to inhibit his speech. In response, he starts clawing at it.

Olsen raises his hand in anticipation. “Hey, can I go?”

“Sure go ahead.” P responds.

“Okay so,” Olsen starts. “I was born in Riveria, a small town in--”

Rigby rips off the metal restraining his mouth. “God, can’t a man have freedom of speech? I think you just single-handedly cured my iron deficiency. Anyways I know you guys don’t care, but I was born and raised in glamorous LA.”

“Can you just shut it and listen to Olsen?” P says.

“I knew you wouldn’t care. Hurts, man.”

“As Olsen was saying, he lives in Riveria, and…?” P says.

“Oh yeah! And my great great great great grandfather actually founded the town.” Olsen continues.

“Oh really? Do you want a medal?” Rigby says, reclining back in his chair.

when were you born?

“I WILL take this one, okay?” Rigby says.

“Fine.” says P.

“I was born June the 22nd, 1990. The greatest day on Earth.” Rigby says.

P scoffs.

“You guys can’t even say anything, because your author was negligent enough to not give you definitive birthdays yet!”

Olsen sighs. “Yeah, that’s a problem.”

whoops sorry

how old are you?

“I’m about twenty two I’d say,” says P.

“I’m twenty nine. Hah, beatcha.” Rigby says.

“I’m seventeen.” Olsen says.

where do you live?

“Oh, uh, here.” P says, pointing down at the ground.

Rigby mocks him. “Uh, oh, um, uh, here. Where is here dumbass?”

“Queens. New York.” P says in a stiff tone.

“Better. Now watch an interesting person take this question.” Rigby says. “Right now, I’m currently residing in space, specifically in the port of the Planet Happi.”

“P-Probably not so, uh, ‘Happi’ when you’re there!” Olsen calls out.

“Hey-o! High five!” P exclaims. The two share a hand slap. “So where do you live, Olsen?”

“Well I lived Riveria until I left to LA during my middle school years. I came back to my hometown about 2 years ago.”

P suppresses a laugh. “Sorry, I just can’t let that joke go.”

“It wasn’t even that funny.” Rigby says, crossing his arms.

what are your quirks?

“What would constitute as a quirk?” Olsen asks.

“It’s what makes you weird and shit.” Rigby says. “P should go first, since this is literally the only question that can make him sound like a cool person.”

“I’d clock you, but I have to answer this question.” P says. “So, I Metalrift. What that essentially means is that I can control and manipulate metal with my mind. It’s super useful, but it took a grueling process to acquire. I have a few other friends that can rift other things, like Scott Walker. He can rift rock, and he’s damn good at it too.”

“I for one,” Rigby says, “Am competent at what I do without the help of magic, but with the help of a little bit of alchies. I shoot aliens and shit. Ain’t that right Peepa?” He smiles as he puts his hand on P’s shoulder. He shrugs Rigby’s hand off.

“What about you, Olsen?” Rigby asks.

“Well, I’m really good with a blade, a machete specifically. Still, my friend, Lisa, taught me how to properly fight. I have a signature backswing and everything.” Olsen says. “Also P I hope you wouldn't mind metalrifting for us. I mean I've seen it in combat, but not really up close and personal. Could you?”

“Uh, sure, I don’t see why not,” P says, looking around the apartment for any loose metal lying around. “I don’t see any metal though.”

“Wait no, I got you.” Rigby says, pulling out a ray gun and a hammer from the inside of his coat.

“Perfect! I can just extract the metal from the g--”

Rigby starts to casually smash the gun, reducing it to metal bits and bobs. “There you go, rift away.” Rigby says.

P lifts the metal with his mind, and formulates a small elephant on the table using the bits and bobs. It walks around and spurts tiny pieces of metal out of its trunk.

“Oh sweet!” Olsen exclaims.

“Okay yeah, that’s pretty sick, I gotta admit.” says Rigby. “Hey, that rhymes!”

who are your family members? “Uh, next question.” Olsen says. who are your pets?

“I have a turtle, and he is the light of my life.” says Rigby.

“And what’s his name?” Olsen asks.

“Cadet. What a little man.” Rigby says.

“Why’s his name Cadet?” P asks.

“I’m glad you asked.” says Rigby. “I named him after my favorite wine, Mouton Cadet.”

“How original.” P dryly says.

what do you look like?

“Well, I have black hair and green eyes” says P. “Also, I wear a red flannel with a black shirt underneath, and topping it all off with my signature blue pants and black shoes.”

“Alright, my turn!” says Rigby. “So I dyed my hair blond, but my original hair color is brown. I have blue eyes and an amazing goatee. I’m wearing my space uniform right now, which is a blue collar necked coat-jacket that has a white stripe near the bottom, black pants strapped with a holster, black boots, and black gloves. Oh, also I’m a hell of a lot taller than P. Five foot ten ass…”

“How tall are you then?” asks P.

“Six foot three.” Rigby triumphantly says.

“What about you Olsen?”

“Alright,” Olsen says, “Well I have brown hair, a bit combed to the side, brown eyes, and freckles. I wear a red short sleeve with a gray long sleeve undershirt, along with blue jeans and regular sneakers. Oh, and I’m five foot ten too!”

“Shorties.” says Rigby.

who’s your hero?

“Definitely my uncle,” says Olsen. “He’s a real inspiration and always has great advice for me.”

“Both my friends Violet and Basil are amazing people and I wouldn’t be alive for them, so probably those two people.” says P.

“I really like the Hamburglar.” says Rigby. The others stare at him. “What? He really got me to buy more burgers, honest!”

what’s your moral alignment?

“Yo dude!” Rigby says. “I’m uhh,” He snaps his fingers, “Chaotic good.”

P chimes in, “I’m definitely lawful good.”

“And that leaves neutral good for me!” says Olsen. “Wait that’s the last question right?”

“Yeah, and wow I’m so glad we’re done with this.” says P.

“Why?” asks Olsen.

“So I can do this.” P says, getting up from his seat and knocking Rigby’s lights out.

——————————————–

Cool, this was fun! I’ll be tagging @starlightinhumanform, @ill-write-when-im-dead, and @kaigods, but don’t be obligated to do them. You’re an independent person!

#Metalrifter #Friends&Universe #LifeinRivers #ocs #myocs #tag game #i was tagged ages ago but whatever #hope you dont mind something like months later #sorry but school's kickin my ass rn #dyin but still thrivin :')

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bloojayoolie · 6 years ago

Photo

Apparently, Books, and Crazy: My bros I have been doing a lot of reading about Wacky wwll Hijinks lately and I want to tell you a story because I ove it okay once upon a time there was a dude in Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia. Pujol was a chicken farmer. Pujol hated him some goddamn fascists See Spain had recently ended its civil war, with the fascists taking power. So when Wwil broke out in Europe, Spain technically remained neutral but in practice was buddy buddy wih the Nazis. Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty buishit so soon afer war breaks out Pujol travels to his local British embassy and goes hey I wanna spy on the Nazis for you who the fuck are you? say the British, and kick him out but Pujol is not deterred! He still wants to dunk on some fascists, so now he goes to his local German embassy instead. "hey" he says, 1 wanna spy on the British for you, I sure do hate them yeah okay" say the Germans "that seems pretty legint and just like that Pujol now officially works for the Abwehr, the German intelligence agency. They hand him some spy gear (invisible ink and such) and instruct him to travel to Lisbon, and from there make his way into the UK So Pujol heads to Lisbon, and a little while later wirites to his German handlers telling them he's made it to England Pujol had not made it to England. He had, in fact, made it to the Lisbon public library, where he checked out a number of English guide books and set about just wholesaie making shit up this is slightly complicated by the fact that, for example, he completely did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were basically gibberish. He also reported things like bribing Scotsmen, because the people of Glasgow would do anything for a litre of wine (an actual quote) because, hey, people in Spain like wine so that's probably the same right? Here is where it starts to get really crazy, because the Abwehr loves this. wow this dude is a great spy they say, because apparently none of them had ever been the England either In fact, they are so pumped about this new awesome spy that the British start to get woried you see, by this time the British had cracked German's supposedly unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by reading basically all of their super top secret- radio transmissions. And, crucially, they'd become so good at breaking and reading traffic that there were literally no German spies in England. The Germans would set up a spy drop (usually dropping dudes in by parachute in the middle of the night), the British would intercept the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies so there are no German spies in the UK because they're all sitting in a prison run by MI5 (although some are being run under supervision as double agents feeding Germany bullshit). But suddenly MI5 is picking up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great spy- a spy the British do not have in their ja ch shit says Mi5, and starts rereading all the transmissions they have to and from this mysterious super spy hey wait says MI5, upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending someone is playing sily buggers, pip pip cheerio At this point, Pujol still in Lisbon, had actually been approaching the British embassy again, repeatedly, but apparently 1 am literally an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services" wasn't interesting enough, because he was repeatedly turned away, again It wasn't until MIS started asking around that one of the embassy staff was like "oh yeah we know that guy so in 1942 the British finally make contact with Pujol and he officially becomes a spy for MI5. They move him to London and assign him a case officer so he can start making up even better bullshit and he does. Once actually in London, Pujol reports to the Abwehr that he'd recruted a whole slew of informants- from a bunch of Welsh Aryans to disaffected army officers. He ends up with a network of 20+ sub-spies, all feeding him information from around the UK none of these people actualy exist Pujol just straight up invented like 20 people, keeping careful track of their fake personalities, names, and activities. With the help of Mi5, the information he sends becomes even better- a mbx of true but umimately useless facts and actually important intel timed to arrive in Germany just slightly too late to be of any use. He and his "spy network become the Abwehr's most trusted agents Pujol, now codenamed Agent Garbo (for his acting skils), ends up playing a huge role in the run-up to D-Day, where the Allies mounted a huge inteligence campaign to convince Hitler that the planned site of attack was going to be Calais and not Normandy (this was Operation Fortitude and you should absolutely look it up for more Wacky wwi Adventures). Obviously you know how this ended crazily enough, the Abwehr never figured out that Pujol was a double agent Afler the war he received both the Iron Cross Second Class (which require personal authorization from Hitler), and a Member of the Order of the British Empire (from King George V) unable to resist being totally fucking ridicuious, Pujol turned down MI5's post-war offer to continue spying, but this time against the USSR. o, he said just help me fake my own death and then Im moving to Venezuela and thats exactly what he did. Juan Garcia Pujol died in 1988, at the age of 76 Okay Im just editing my reblog to add this picture of Juan Pujol Garcia because I feel that n adds so much to the story to picture him doing ALL THE ABOVE with this expression What a legend

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Apparently #Books #an

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aliferous-ly · 6 years ago

Note

Find yourself and grow - bnha

this has nothing to do with the prompt but it inspired this s oooooooooo yup

Kirishima stared at the ceiling. An uncertain sort of energy thrummed through him, his eyes exhausted and bones like jelly but unable to close his eyes, his mind active but muted like a frizzled television.

He didn’t have the energy to get up but he didn’t have the ability to sleep, so Kirishima leaned over and grabbed his phone. Turning it on started a small headache right behind his eyes but Kirishima didn’t know what else to do, so he scrolled through a few social media sites, staring but not seeing.

A snapchat notification appeared at the top of his screen. [BROCCOLI BOI is typing…]

Kirishima narrowed his eyes and waited for the consecutive “BROCCOLI BOI has sent you a snap!”, but it never came.

He went to snapchat anyway, hovering over Izuku’s name for only a second before clicking.

[you] hey i saw u typing u up

Kirishima waited, hoping that Izuku was actually up and that snapchat didn’t glitch on him. Izuku’s profile bubbled, indicating that he was typing, and Kirishima let out a breath of relief.

[BROCCOLI BOI] yea sorry about that haha!

[BROCCOLI BOI] just a lil tired didnt want to bother u

[you] no worries i’m up too

[BROCCOLI BOI] you really should be getting sleep! sleep is incredibly important for lots of things

[you] i could say the same to u bro

[you] why u up?

[BROCCOLI BOI] why r u up?

[you] uh couldnt sleep

[BROCCOLI BOI] me neither

[you] ah

[BROCCOLI BOI] u should go to sleep tho

[you] u first

[BROCCOLI BOI] i can’t

[you] me neither

[you] i’m so tired i can’t get up but i cant fall asleep

[BROCCOLI BOI] wanna hang out in the lobby

[you] i just said im too tired to get up

[BROCCOLI BOI] but ur awake

[BROCCOLI BOI] i can carry u

[you] dude no i’m rlly heavy

[you] comes w the perks of being a literal rock

[BROCCOLI BOI] is that a challenge

[you] i mean go off deku

[BROCCOLI BOI] brt

“Oh my god,” Kirishima said aloud, running a hand down his face. “Oh man.”

Not a minute later he heard knocking before his door swung open, Midoriya genuinely standing in his threshold with All Might pajama pants and a plain red t-shirt.

Kirishima started sitting up, the fatigue receding for a moment as he laughed in shock. “I can’t believe you’re here, Midori– ah!” Kirishima yelped in surprise as Midoriya strode forwards and leaned down, placing his arms under Kirishima’s knees and behind his shoulders, picking him up effortlessly.

“Midoriya!” Kirishima threw his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders in shock, his body tensing instinctively.

A dusting of pink was brushed on Midoriya’s cheeks, but he said, “You aren’t that heavy, you know.”

Kirishima stared at him.

Midoriya shifted, then, looking more and more awkward. “I’m… I’m sorry? Uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Uh.”

“This is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me,” Kirishima said, in awe. And wow, this was not great for his mini crush, honestly.

Mini. Yeah, okay.

Midoriya’s flush grew deeper but he didn’t set Kirishima down, instead positioning him into a more comfortable hold and stepping away from the bed. “So, uh, to the commons?”

“Let’s go to the rec room,” Kirishima said. The commons was always colder than the rec room, being so close to the entrance.

“The rec room…?” Midoriya said slowly. “There’s…?”

“Holy– okay, Midoriya, prepare to have your mind blown,” Kirishima said, gesturing with one hand for emphasis. “It’s like the commons but with like, way more pillows, and a way better TV, it’s hidden though, and there’s a code, you gotta follow it, okay?”

“Alright,” Midoriya said, laughter in his voice. “Lead the way, then?”

Kirishima flushed and wrapped his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders and neck again. He could probably walk, especially after Midoriya hyping him up about the rec room, but who was he to turn down such a rare experience?

Kirishima led him through the hallways, Midoriya giving him strange looks when he told him to go through the boiler room to get there. They eventually reached a door with a wooden sign. Which, in reality, was more of a wooden slab pinned to the door. Burnt into the wood said “enter if you dare”.

Kirishima exuberantly gestured to the door. “Here it is! All your hopes and dreams behind these hallowed doors!”

Midoriya glanced at him, then turned his gaze pointedly at the wood, a blush creeping up his neck as he muttered, “doubt it.”

“Hey dude, okay, I gotta–” Kirishima struggled out of Midoriya’s arms, now wide-awake and excited. “Initiation. So. You are about to enter the former abode of the hero squad known as Burnout.”

Midoriya hide his smile at Kirishima’s grave expression and jazz hands.

“Burnout found this abandoned room years ago and renovated it. They’re inspirations, really, and there’s rules pinned around the room that we have to follow or the room will reject us,” Kirishima said, nodding seriously. “A main one: no telling teachers. Legend says a member attempted to inform a teacher and they were never seen again…” Kirishima said lowly, then added, “just kidding! They were unable to use their quirk for a few hours. And they lost the trust of everyone else, obviously.”

“That sounds easy enough,” Midoriya said, mind already running through the possible quirks with such a power. It would have to encompass the room, but also be able to effect any who knew about it – including technically him as well, unless the rules weren’t enacted until he entered the room itself. Then the quirk had to be able to cause losing another quirk for a select amount of time by spoken word, maybe? These rules sounded awfully hard to enforce, and –

“’Doriya, my dude,” Kirishima punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Stay with me my man, that was only one.”

“Ah, sorry!” Midoriya blushed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Rule number two,” Kirishima said, holding up two fingers. “No fighting. Real fighting, since it can tell the difference, somehow. Quirk usage is okay, but once it gets too… real, you gotta take it outside. That one makes you really tired, I know from experience.”

“…okay,” Midoriya said, deciding life would be easier the less questions he asked. Less time spent talking, the sooner they’d actually go in.

“Those are the most important ones I guess,” Kirishima mused, shrugging. “Alright, Midoriya, initiation over!”

Kirishima pushed the door open and beckoned Midoriya in, letting the door fall shut after Midoriya had entered.

“Welcome to the rec room!” Kirishima said proudly, like he was presenting a personal accomplishment.

The room could hold a decent amount of people while retaining that cozy size, with two couches, two recliners, and an uncountable amount of varying sizes and kinds of beanbags thrown about. Just as Kirishima promised, a large flat-screen sat on one wall, but a minifridge ran softly in the back of the room with a shaded window nearby.

“Wow,” Midoriya breathed. The walls were covered in old boards, giving the room a rustic feel.

Kirishima breezed by him and plopped onto one of the couches, sighing deeply. “Ah, it’s been too long.”

“When were you here last?” Midoriya asked.

“Two days ago,” Kirishima said. “Kaminari found it first, of course, so he told me and Sero, then Ashido because she beat him at arm wrestling, and Bakugou – I think Bakugou found it before all of us, honestly. Todoroki has totally been here before, too, the ice box in the mini fridge is always stocked – and maybe like, Tokoyami? Because that dude knows like, everything.”

Kirishima seemed to melt into the couch as he spoke, movements becoming more and more sluggish until he yawned. Midoriya took a step, hesitation pouring through his veins, because he didn’t want to intrude on Kirishima’s… on Kirishima.

Kirishima looked soft and pliable in a way Midoriya had never seen before, and the normally loud and expressive teen was… quiet, and tired, and yawning.

“Hey dude, wanna play like… video games or something?” Kirishima said.

“Maybe a movie,” Midoriya suggested, eyeing Kirishima’s drooping eyes as he finally made it to the couch and sat down gingerly.

“Dude let’s watch Pacific Rim,” Kirishima said. “You haven’t seen it, right?”

“I haven’t,” Midoriya said.

“Awesome.” Summoning energy from some deep energy source within him, Kirishima lurched from the couch and picked through a stack of movies next to the TV. While Kirishima was getting the movie ready, Midoriya glanced around the room.

Small post-its nailed – yes, nailed – to the wall littered the wood in pale yellow, pink, green, and the occasional green or orange pieces of paper. He read the nearest one to him: “Rule 31: if one of you little shits sticks ONE more piece of bubblegum to the ceiling you’re evicted”.

“Oh, yeah,” Kirishima said, noticing Midoriya’s gaze. “They added rules as time went on.”

Midoriya glanced at another one – a dark purple one with silver sharpie writing, sharp and jagged, with the words “Rule 12: NO SEX IN THIS ROOM YA NASTIES -from your neighborhood ace”.

Midoriya blinked, in surprise, shock, or embarrassment, or possibly a mixture of all three.

“I think the original three uh,” Kirishima cleared his throat. “Made a later member mad.”

“Oh my god,” Midoriya breathed, soft laughter falling from his lips.

Kirishima gazed at him for another second or two before flopping back onto the couch, pressing play. He was notably closer to Midoriya than when Midoriya had initially sat down, their arms almost (almost) brushing.

A few minutes in, Kirishima’s head dropped onto Midoriya’s shoulder.

By the fifteen minute mark, Kirishima was asleep.

Midoriya wasn’t sure how Kirishima managed to sleep through one of the most action-packed movies he’d ever seen, counting the All Might saga, without stirring once.

By the time the movie ended, Midoriya’s shoulder was asleep, but he didn’t dare move Kirishima – he looked softer, relaxed, while he slept, and Midoriya didn’t want to disrupt that.

However, after sitting in complete silence for a few minutes, TV black, Midoriya realized he’d have to move.

“Okay, Kiri,” Midoriya murmured mostly to himself, since Kirishima was sleeping. “Let’s get you back to your room.”

He propped Kirishima against the back of the couch and stood, cracking his back and rotating his shoulders, then leaned down and picked Kirishima up, throwing him over his shoulder. While the princess-hold had been great for dramatic effect and great because Midoriya got to see Kirishima’s expression, he wanted to have an open hand.

The halls were eerily quiet, as it was around three or four in the morning, but Midoriya’s stride was confident. He’d walked these halls at early times before.

Entering Kirishima’s room, Midoriya gently lay the teen on his obnoxiously colored sheets, pulling the comforter over his body and, unable to resist the temptation, gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

He was almost out the door when a quiet, “Midoriya?” sounded from the bed.

He paused, door in hand, and tilted his head. “Yeah?”

“I really…” a yawn, then, “I really like you.”

Midoriya’s cheeks inflamed and he tensed, throat suddenly dry. He turned around completely, to craft a probably embarrassing babble of a response, but Kirishima was already sleeping again.

Midoriya shut the door as silently as he could, then sped-walked back to his room, having a mini-crisis.

He definitely wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.

#YUH #still getting thru these i'm so happy #kirideku #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #bnha #mrabbles

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mommydragon-of-all · 6 years ago

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OC Interview Meme

This looks fun. Also some answers drastically differ depending on around what time this "interview” takes place. So i got thinking and since I was tagged by@sakurabunnie who’s getting to know my pre-inquisition Soren, i choose to time this before Inquisition. Then i was tagged by dear @hadiden-lavellan too, but by then i was halfway through his post, and hey why not, some looking back :) Thank you both!!!! :3333

For Soren (Lavellan):

1. What is your name?

“A lot of people have called me by a lot of names. You can call me Soren.”

2. What is your real name?

“It is actually Soren. Yep, just Soren. I lost my original belonging and i didnt take any of my families surnames. Not permanently nor in any way official.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“Oh well, my parents wanted a pair of short and strong names that ring together, even if they had to get a bit creative. Also, as i learned, a pair of names that can be lilted and growled equally well haha “

4. Are you single or taken?

“i am free like a bird. Does your nest have some extra space on a cold night by the way?”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“Im a highly trained assassin, among … other things. If you ever get in trouble… *slides over a strange little object* flash this around the shady parts of any city. They will take care of the rest. But for your lives sake, do not try to lie”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“ I dont think i ever used that alias… “

7. What’s your eye color?

“Oohhh you are welcome to gaze into them closer, yes ;) no low light excuses, they have their own, so just lean over… “

8. How about your hair color?

“ Oh yes that is harder to tell in different lights. Its dark red, like good wine or blood from the liver .”

9. Have you any family members?

“ I have tons. If you meant blood relation… other than my twin sister i have some distant family. Literally distant even, like few and far between, out in the world. Some of us exchange awesome birthday gifts some years though, regardless of the exact date. Who has time to time that. “

(Scattered by the wind, but firmly standing like the trees)

10. Oh? What about pets?

“ Sadly animals are deadly afraid of me. It takes just a sniff to run for dear life… Even predators… it takes a special blend of proud and crazy to befriend me it seems. I would kill for such treasures. Like that Hart i once fought for an apple in that deep forest and lately rode to far destinations… i think it starts to get even attached!!! If he sticks around im gonna call him Captain. But remember, Dont go close to him! For your dear life, please dont. He is easy to recognize. Big as a mountain and looks like “Oh, Shit”. “

(’Where to, Captain?’)

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“ Those things are about to change. Or drop in numbers significantly in the world. Just wait. …as truly as i want to mean that, unfortunately some things never change. Like the darkness in people, festering hearts. There will always be things like betrayal, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, envy, greed, cruelty,... i could go on. People who mostly keep themselves above those shades of their nature are all worth to be protected.“

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“ Oh there are so many awesome things in the world and so many exciting things to do! I cant even count them. Like there’s hunting dragons for one! Speaking of hunting, there is also treasure hunt and demon hunt and manhunt and wyvernhunt and countless others, the bigger and meaner the better! But then theres also MAGIC! Do you have any idea how awesome that is? Everything magic and everything it touched. Putting together and using magic objects for so many things! And spells??? Potions, lotions, weapons... And there are also PEOPLE! The most magical thing is the warm light in ones heart. And they are so various and unique! There are different languages and codes and symbols and oh the stories! And dance and music and pleasures and laughing and caring and helping and…. oh … haha… im sorry, are you awake? Please ask away. “

(’Ah, what a beautiful day!’)

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“ I think you snoozed off and forgot about my profession already. :) “

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“ Hahaha oh these sharp and pointy things and stuff arent for chopping and cooking vegetables either.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“Pfffft i am my own species! Hehe! A unique hybrid i guess! But definitely a big animal, yes. Sis’ won that argument long ago, so there you have the answer. “

16. Name your worst habits.

“Hmm? What?” (*Muffs out with one of the interviewers -already leafed through-notebooks between his sharp teeth, booth on table...*) Hey! That is… how did you… *sigh*... nevermind

(exhibit 99: ‘”I’ll go straight there!”)

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“My sister, definitely. She is the best. She is indestructible in every way i swear! Gotta be the strongest person alive. She is also really cool. But hot. I mean explosive! Not that shes not hot, technically... she is my female version after all haha. And caring for me with great big sister love (*mumble*:even if i am like 5 minutes older), but dont spread that ;) Might harm her notoriety. I also look up to several of my tutors and many other people for many different reasons. People can be so many kinds of amazing.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“You can not expect me to label my interests in a world full of so many differently beautiful people with warm hearts.”

19. Do you go to school?

“Yes. Life. 24/7. Got less intense since i learned how to survive and sustain myself, and grew a strong body to back up my needs and will, but there are always new things to learn and lessons you never asked for too. I had some actual teachers along the way too, but lately mostly i just teach myself what i dont just encounter by diving into new things. Which is not only fun by the way, you are bound to learn a few things. Then there are books, theories, researching, digging, honing instincts and reflexes, combining and refining techniques or theories, trial and error... Life is a bottomless school “

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Wow, wow, you mean like.. babies? Sweet Fade, i wouldnt dare breathe their way, they are so fragile... little young PEOPLE, persons who arrived so recently and understand so little and cant even tell whats up just cry and i cant understand them, i understand every language but i can not understand babies for my life and ... and... thats terrifying! And do you have any idea how EASY it is to kill someone? And then there is that small bundle of vulnerability, my proximity could be lethal to it! And .... *sigh*... sorry just... It all would depend on that special person i might find who would want to keep me for life, for better or worse, and if they wanted kids... even if babies, i would be on board. I would do anything for that special someone. Even learn baby care... Bigger kids, well, i already have :D . In good care. If any of them were to be taken under my constant and indirect care, would depend on a lot of things. Right now they are much safer otherwise.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Most certainly ;D.But none of them know much about me, of course. With that comes a transformation of those feelings”

22. What are you most afraid of?

‘Im not afraid of ANYTHING!” *eyes instantly betraying* “Fine, fine, gotta be loss. Ironic, isnt it, for i have but what is on my person. Replaceable come and goes. Im mostly afraid of losses that arent even really “mine”, but others. Loved ones or even barely known ones loosing their lives or their light. Loosing my sister, myself, my heart... that is all i am. The only thing i cannot live without is my heart, i AM my heart, and loosing pieces of it or have it broken or freezing through a hole... I hate how selfish that is. But yeah. There you go. I still tend to leave pieces of it everywhere, and it only grows with that, funny how that works, but it also tends to get wounded on every turn. I fear the numbing cold. I fear the day when i cant hold it together and go on anymore.”

(from “When you are away”)

23. What do you usually wear?

“What you see is my whole wardrobe, hahah. But i shift and change to blend in from the dirt of Orzammar’s dust town to the shining halls of Orlesian palaces. Its fun. What i like to wear mostly are well covering clothes, that allow a great scale of mobility, but not baggy to catch on things. Made of high quality materials only. My clothes MUST be of great quality materials, more for comfort than durability. Heightened overall senses arent always fun. Oh and for outer wear i like leather, especially dragonskin stuff for light armor, and long boots are the only footwear i acknowledge, some with high heels, and a matching pair of long gloves from soft fine leather are necessary too. Long coats from mostly leather and all the necessary leather straps and harnesses and pouches and belt too of course. If it counts, all my current favorite necklaces with magical pendants and bracelets are a constant wear too. It also doesnt hurt if my clothes look great. But fine materials tailored to my body and my needs usually bring that effect without further touches.”

(*his gear gotta let his smooth ass move*)

24. Do you love someone?

“I love all good people. ...and some others”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

"Bahahahhahaa now thats some blunt question! It deserves to be answered truthfully. I wish i could say when i was a baby, but truth is i think it happened a few times during the wilder rides of intense poison training with blood magic assistance, but im not really sure, i was barely conscious through those parts from pain and all kinds of nasty sensations, i came to my senses naked and tucked in after them. I never do extreme limit pushing training alone. There were also times when i was subject to some blood spells and experiments unwilling too. I have some suspicious blurry memories that i have made all sorts of messes. Egh. Lets move on to more fun questions”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“Perfect!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I live outside of such systems. But i took part in every class during my life, thanks to current families or goals.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Plenty, but one cant have too many. Helping each other goes a long way. I tend to make some friends everywhere i go, but i have few close friends. The closest one is my sis’. She knows me more than i know myself, and she is always there for me, at any cost.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie? One of the most fun cakes. It was invented for throwing i swear!”

30. Favourite drink?

“Hmmmm... old, red wine, hot and seasoned, spiced with a nice kick of that special antivan poison blend. I dont recommend you trying it, but you dont know what you’re missing out.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Wherever i am welcome.”

(*one favorite place example. It is not Where, it is Who*)

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am interested in everyone. Are you fishing for some special interest?”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“Hahahha oh you never disappoint! Well, it was a long time ago when i last i wore a bra, back when i could still pull off the young girl appearance, to get in paces and so on. I always made sure to have a proportional but quite evident bosom. Oh it was such fun, my long hair helped too, and i dished out that act spot on! Like that time in Val Royeaux, when the heads i turned waltzing in as part of a rich antivan court were spinning all around in frantic search in the chaos, while i walked right out as a male servant. Oh sorry, i got distracted. You also asked about my “willy” if i recall correctly. If you would like to measure it so badly we can discuss that later ;) “

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Hmmm.... whichever promises more sunk treasures and secrets. Some lakes hide quite the surprises let me tell you.”

(’Looks like a perfect place for some diving..’)

35. What’s your type?

“My type of what, exactly, dear? ;)”

36. Any fetishes?

“I am very flexible in many ways, let me tell you, in case you are planning to bend me to your will. And if id have some suggestions, well, let it remain a little mystery for now ;p”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“Depends. What would you like me to be?”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Nothing beats a warm bed and a well secured resting place. Especially with my... condition, and experiences”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Are you kidding me? You have such awkward, uncomfortable questions... Let me get a new round of drinks for us and lets do this till morning!” “What do you mean new round... when did this cup of hot wine get here? It has my name on it??? What the... I better go i think.”

40. Now it’s over!

“What? Oh come on, we just got to some really “embarrassing” parts! Talking about “embarrassing”, would you like to hear the story of my encounter with this qounari dreadnought captain and ended up on board to Ostwick? Maybe you can tell me some stories yourself too in exchange..” *puppy eyes+shining grin combo* “Well, im not exactly in a hurry...” “Excellent!” *shifts closer and pours more wine*

I tag @quizzikemen @pelle-lavellan @hadiden-lavellan @sakurabunnie @elalavella @nipuni and everyone who wants to do it! For those who already did this consider this a tag for another OC! Gotta love them all :D (if you feel like doing it. I always feel like reading it)

#finally i got around to finish this post #soren lavellan #oc meme #dragon age inquisition #dual wield assassin #male lavellan #screenshots

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salkisser · 6 years ago

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Hey there!! I'm doing my best to spread positivity to battle against all the negativity that's been going on recently! So!! If you can, tell me about how you and handsome jack get together!

OH BOY OH WOW…. HERE WE GO

so i definitely have a separate universe to ship w/ jack (bc i would never do it if rhys existed SO its a universe where rhys ain’t there so im not guilty!!!) ANYWAYS

i def work on hyperion and im def a dumb little help desk human relations assistant or something ?? i have absolutely no actual skill to offer to the world but i am super passionate abt ppl being treated fairly so i would probably hate jack at first…… i feel like im honestly trying to help ppl who r getting fucked over by him & all the superiors & he Does Not Like That! im a complete rebel without a cause irl & would be even at a hyperion desk job - probably always breaking rules & violating uniform code & daring to Actually Help People instead of being cold & ruthless like all of the other hyperion employees?

so jack gets word of this disobedient shit that ive been doing & he’s like “alright that ain’t gonna fly let’s toss her into space” bc that’s how he, yknow, deals with ppl

he calls me up to his office so he can do the honors himself & while he’s giving me some big dumb speech about how bad i fucked up, i, true to character, mouth off to him during & continue to as he’s talking & he’s literally like ?????/???????/because what the fuck this bitch is BRAVE

so he stops halfway thru loading me into his Death Machine & he’s like “you got some real balls don’t ya” & oh wow, he likes that!! he kinda likes that someone isn’t all “yes sir” & “no sir” towards him for once & thinks it’s pretty cute that this little 5’9 goth bitch is talking back to a murderous dictator like it’s nothing ,, so he probably takes an interest in me from there & pulls some dumb “Alright- if you’ve got a complaint with how I run things, I’d LOVE to hear it, cupcake”so off i go on and on about how fucked up he is & the whole time he’s kinda like “this is so sad alexa play despacito” bc he really doesn’t give a shit how fucked up he treats people, he’s /handsome fucking jack??/

but hey if I wanna change things so much he’ll make me an offer- no more human relations secretary, how about up-close-&-personal assistant? hyperion CEO needs a secretary too right? soooo cliche right?

& it’s a whole lot of tension & shit from there but AHHH THATS BASICALLY,, HOW IT ALL STARTS ,,

#IM UHHHH GAY #asks #otp: million dollar man #YEA I SURE MADE A TAG FOR US HUH

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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OH FUCK U GUYS SHOULD I BUY ALL THE KINDGOM HEARTS IN A ONCENESS???

Holy jesus i knew they did hd ps4 ports of the playstation games but they ALSO added all the final mix content that engkishspeaking fans never got during my childhood? And they ALSO remade chain of memories entireky in 3d with Very Animated Ice Dad?? And they ALSO remade BBS despite it not needing it nearly as much as the old games and thet ALSO remade friggin dream drop distance which came out on a goddamn current gen console?? Like they seriously just made a non portable version?? Now all the spinoffs are on the same console at last?? Why did you not just do this in the first place?? I mean the psp and 3ds games were basically ps2 equivelant graphics and disc space anyway...

Oh and fuckin ALLLLSOOOOO

Also the final mixes of all of those! Also a movie version of the plot of khux! And also Coded and Days, which is a really big shame cos Coded is indeed sparse enough on content to deserve it but Days was my FAVOURITE GAME and it sucks its the only one that didnt get remade! I mean its in the same spinoff category as bbs and com, its not a cheapo mess like coded. Nothing else in the series deserves to be shoved in the Coded bin, even khux at least has better plot even if the backtracking and lootbox shit makes it harder to get to it...

Anyway ALSO a random new sidestory with Aqua going thru like one dungeon or somethin?? I dunno?? Its like a glorified tech demo for kh3, its just 'hey fuckin look what we can do visually on a proper ps4 game' and wow how have i never fuckin heard of this it looks so pretty!! I mean i dont know if its even more than 5 hours or somethin but.. Pretty!! And apparantly you get unlockable costumes for her or somethin? I hope they keep that feature in kh3! Itd rock if it wasnt just the main character too, and we could dress up riku and kairi and goofy and donald and roxas and axel and every the friends :3 new secret to how they defeat xehanort: slap a bow on his damn head

ALSO ALSO

All of this is available in one big bundle pack for £90 which ALSO contains literally kh3. THIS IS HOW THEYRE HANDLING PREORDERS?? THATS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO HANDLE PREORDERS!! Get a discounted price on this new game but while youre waiting for it you get to enjoy an (also discounted) giant fuckin 300 hours memory lane compilation of every damn thing from the last 15 years in one beautiful updated package. Holy fuck its like they made this for ME SPECIFICALLY!this is the perfect way to get people back into the franchise who dropped off in The Great KH3 Wait cos they couldnt afford all the damn million portables needed to gather that Dank Lore. God fuckin hell it cost more than the price of this bundle just to play any one of those games individually on some stupid retro machine i bought exclusively for that one damn game. THAT PSP STILL ROTS IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD YO

So so so so so

Guys

Please give me permission to buy this

Or like please convince me not to waste my money if you think i'd waste my money??

I really just DONT KNOW! ive been out of the fandom for so long and my last experience was really hatting BBS and feeling horribly out of place as everyone else raved about it being the best thing ever. And i know NOTHING about what kh3 is gonna be or whether its even possible for me to get back into the fandom and like.. Care about it at all again. I just got fuckin fatigued with it and my teenage years were like me clinging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails begging everyone to believe me that Its Still Good, Honestly, Its Worth It while square enix is up there all LONG LIVE THE KING and they push me off. Into a stampede of PSPs. Somehow.

And then aaargh i know i literally only came back to the fandom because organization xiii fuckin eternally holds my heart in their lil grabby hands. It was indeed a good nostalgic moment remembering how i loved them! And getting a new appreciation for Vexen and being blown away by how much he should have been my favourite but i just never got to play COM as a kid and then when i played it as an adult all the way after bbs i ended up quitting before even getting to meet half the org cos this one stupid 'defeat 99 shadows jn 99 seconds' mission kicked my ass. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT ACTION RPGS OKAY!

Aaaagh thats another Big Worry, yknow? Like asa kid i was Bad, as an adult i'm Barely Better , and as a both i never enjoyed beat em up thingies of any kind at all. And on top of that i was never big into disney, i never saw them as any sort of 'childhood magic' but just some naff cliche shit retelling public domain fairy tales in the safest way possible with a bunch of obnoxious celebrity cameos. Also lion king and snow white terrified me as a kid. Also i associated robin hood with my dead grandma. Also as a kid i couldnt appreciate good artistic ability or voiceacting, i was all about the story, yknow? And most of kh's adaptations are really rushed and barebones versions of an already shoddy story, without any of the visual splendor. ALSO i never saw any of the darker or more emotionally focused stuff like Hunchback and Beauty and the Beast until way after i quit playing kingdom hearts, oddly enough. Wtf beauty and thebeast is actually real good and looks so far beyond its time!! Wtf hunchback has my goddamn evil dad in it!! Why did i miss the only good didneys!! Why did snow white traumatize me and those didnt!!

ANYWAY the point im getting at is that im not inherantly predisposed to like.. Any of kingdom hearts's appeal at all. I didnt know half the disneys and i didnt have any hype for the others. None of my fave final fantasy games made it into it until the sequel and then never again after that. CMON I CANT JUST DEAL WITH ONE VIVI CAMEO Y'ALL! And i haaaate the genre and its an uphill struggle to play a game like that with my stupid inelegant sausage hands. So i just came for the story and then everything after the first game has been conspiring to ruin it for me, sheesh! I felt so much for that short concise self contained first episode and then i fall more and more out of love as they establish this status quo of everything being retconnable so dont bother get attatched to it. Blablabla the entire worldbuilding is different now and everyone was secretly someone else and please memorize a bunch of shit from fifty fuckin spinoffs and also time travel and cloning suddenly exist and ALSO Grandpa Onlyblackmanintheworld is generic motiveless evil and everything was him even of it looked like it was actually a sympathetic villain. *insert dio meme face*

So yeah now im just.. In it for the characters?? And the cute art style and monsters and lovely animations and big fanfic oc potentials stuff. But man even tho i had Big Feel for those things i was able to completely drop it all and forget about the series for years, that was just HOW BAD the kh3 drought was. Steven universe hiatus eat your heart out...

So ffff i dont even KNOW if i'll be able to get feels'd for these characters again or if they actually hold up to modern bunni standards of huggable. And i know all the ones i want to hug the most got like zero sympathy and all died horribly and were also retroactively revealed to be clone oldmanvirus somethingy and aaaaaagh. But also something something people say they all came back and got cured?? And this is why?? I am here?? Again?? And buying?? The thing??

Like man fuck i am already building it up so much in my head aaaa what if i dont actually love axel as much as i used to love axel and i dont love Grumply Science as much as i always love That Character Archetype seriously MAN how was he like THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT GET TO SEE AS A KID

Aaauuuuaggh gahhh like maybe this will reignite my passion for the series or maybe i'll just be all critical and dumb and waste all my moneys

Guys... What do??

#tho i mean i did see the five seconds of vexen u get in days and i know generally what he's like from wikis and fanart #i just mean that i dont know how he really is in his actual starring game and whether any of the sympathetic dadness is canon #plz do #i wanna cry for dad #i mean u made me suddenly cry for saix and ship him with axel as soon as all that stuff was revealed in bbs #i also never finished bbs so i dont know how much we got to learn about apprentice era vexen and baby zexion #like is it actually canon that vexen was his fathee figure? do you actyally see them being cute?#or are people just theorizing?#its so hard to know whats theories in this fandom cos when u waited for a sequel for almost a decade there are a lot of theories lol

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