#oh god i can see the obvious joke in here but I'm not gonna say it

[invinciblerodent]

oh god Astarion really is literally the lockpicking lawyer in the most authentic way

[hannieehaee]

HOT TO GO!

18+ / mdi

summary: moving into a quiet apartment complex you expected to find nothing but solace, not your most entertaining situationship to date OR the three times you kept it casual with your new neighbor vs the one time he made things serious.

content: neighbor!jungkook, strangers2lovers, situationship (kind of), fwb, jk's a lil bit of a himbo in this fic, afab reader, smut, three smut scenes lol, penetrative sex, dry humping, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, etc.

wc: 7.1k

a/n: this is honestly just a silly and unserious fic that's mostly smut lol i hope u guys enjoy it<3

masterlist | patreon

"Oh, wow, uh, hey."

"Hi?", you looked at the stranger in curiosity, though still very shocked by the adonis of a man who had suddenly knocked on your door.

He cleared his throat and shook his head as if rebuffing himself to speak again, "Fuck, okay, that was such an uncool first impression. What I meant to say was 'Welcome to the neighborhood,' but you just caught me off guard. Sorry."

"I caught you off guard? You're the one who knocked on my door."

"Yeah, not gonna elaborate on that," he chuckled sheepishly, extending his hand, "Hi, I'm Jungkook, your neighbor," he introduced himself.

You chuckled in return, letting his ambiguity slide as you briefly shook his hand, providing him with your name, "Hi, Jungkook. I'm new here, if that wasn't obvious."

"No, yeah, you can really tell the difference between you and the old lady who used to live here. She was- wait, fuck. Did she-"

"No, Jungkook, she's not dead. The landlord told me she just moved into some retirement home," you clarified.

"Thank god," the boy sighed in relief, "Me and Mrs. Louis go way back. She used to bake me cookies on Sundays."

"Oh really? Well, you won't be getting any cookies from me. Sorry," you joked.

Cocking his head to the side, he lifted his eyebrows, "We'll see about that."

"What does that even mean?"

"I can be very convincing."

Was he flirting? Through a cookie euphemism?

"Are you-"

"Anyways, if you need any help with moving in, let me know. Maybe coming over to help build some furniture?", he suggested, "I like to be on a friendly standing with all my neighbors," he smiled as he disregarded his prior flirting, almost as if it had never happened.

"I'm your only neighbor. There's only two apartments per floor," you recalled, still amused by his oddity.

"Exactly," he winked, and with that, he turned to leave, heading back to his own apartment, "See you around."

It was through that very short interaction that you first met your neighbor, Jungkook. Despite how odd he had seemed, he carried a charm that intrigued you (though his pretty appearance also drew you in).

Closing your door, you went back to what you had been doing previously, a smile of disbelief on your face as you tried to come up with some believable reason to scout him for help – as he had offered – just to see him again.

Unfortunately, most of your stuff had not arrived yet, so you truly had nothing you could possibly use as an excuse to get him to come into your apartment so soon. It was nice, though, to know that your new neighbor was as friendly as he was (and as attractive, might you add).

~

"Hey, neighbor."

"Oh, hi, Jungkook. Did I forget to tell you my name last time?", you wondered why he'd omit your name, unless you had been too distracted last time staring at him to remember.

The next time you saw Jungkook was a day later at the apartment complex's laundry room located at the basement of the building. From what you'd seen the few times you'd walked by it on your way to the elevator, no one really seemed to use it. No one except Jungkook, apparently. You'd also come to find out that this apartment complex seemed to be occupied by mostly elderly people, with you and Jungkook being some of the few exceptions.

Eyeing you up and down in a not very discreet way, his eyes landed back on your face before responding, "No, just got distracted, sorry," he chuckled similarly to how he'd done last time.

This was the second time you'd seemingly caught him off guard, but you weren't complaining. The thought of your presence taking him out of focus gave you a slight boost in confidence, especially considering how attractive he was.

You eyed him curiously, noticing he had no laundry with him nor was he using either of the four washing machines located in the room. As soon as he came in, he took a seat on top of the washing machine next to the one you were currently putting your clothes into. When you smiled at him questioningly, he had no reaction, simply smiling back.

"What are you doing?", you asked whilst continuing your prior task, almost paying no mind to him.

"Just hanging out," he responded simply, swinging his feet back and forth as they hovered due to the stature of the washing machine he was currently sitting on.

"What, with me?"

"Yup. Just trying to be neighborly, is all. Shouldn't be down here all alone," he reasoned, "Can I help you? I love doing laundry."

You scoffed at that, "Really? You love doing laundry? Also, I don't need a bodyguard," you hadn't taken offense to his comment, but you'd found it somewhat amusing. He clearly just wanted to spend time with you, which admittedly made you feel slightly bashful. However, there was no harm in making him work for it a little more.

With a huff, he got off the washing machine and leaned down to help you organize your laundry, dividing it between colors, "I'm known as somewhat of a laundry fairy", he nodded seriously.

"Oh, so you do other people's laundry, then?"

"Yep," he nodded, "It's a whole profession. I part-time as bodyguard too," he joked, continuing to shuffle through your clothes.

"The perfect man," you retorted back, sarcasm in your tone.

"Exactly. You could make really good use of me," he winked, finishing up his pile of clothes and moving onto yours, beginning to place them inside the washing machine.

"Are you asking me to use you?", you braved it and flirted back, turning to look up at him.

The air in the room was comfortable, yet it now had a hint of something more. What it was, you weren't sure. Although Jungkook had hinted at being attracted to you when you first met a day prior, you'd never had a flirtation move so quickly. It usually took a bit more conversation before getting to the more suggestive comments, but the pleased look on his face as he looked down at you made you too excited to backtrack.

"I'm surprised it took you this long to get that. Was my self-invite to your apartment yesterday not hint enough?", he followed along, putting down the article of clothing he had in his hands to take a small step towards you, now leaving a very small distance between you.

"Oh? Was that what that was? I think I'm gonna need you to be a bit more specific. Spell it out for me, maybe?", you tilted your head to the side teasingly, almost as if daring him.

"Aw," he placed his hand on his chest, as if hurt, "That's my bad, pretty. I'll be a little more forward from now on, okay?", he coo'd, leaning down and letting his nose nudge against your own lightly.

"So, are you? Or are you all talk?", you dared him, tilting your face upwards, almost meeting his lips.

With a muted grumble, he closed the gap, pulling you towards him with a pull from your waist. Humming against your lips, he pressed you up against him, practically molding you to him as he allowed the kiss to become heated. The air in the room became even heavier somehow, causing you to mute any outside forces that could possibly take you away from a constant chorus of Jungkook playing in your head.

The kiss had no time for hesitance or shy meetings of lips as it instantly occupied the otherwise silent room with wet sounds of tongues intertwining and almost inaudible moans shared between lips. The harsh surface of the washing machine behind you almost felt like nothing as Jungkook's lips continued to distract you while his arms lifted you to sit on it. Legs opening, you welcomed him to stand between them, pulling him in my his shirt to ensure not even one second of distance between you was allowed.

Your head tilted back almost on its own accord as his lips trailed down your neck, humming into your skin after every kiss and occasional nibble of skin.

"J-Jungkook ... What if someone sees?", your common sense finally made an appearance, though you made no move to stop him.

"No one uses the laundry room here, it's fine. We have the place to ourselves," he breathed out between kisses, making his way back up to your lips.

With a scarily practiced finesse, his tongue snuck its way into your mouth, easing yours into copying his movements. Your resolve wore down quickly after that, following along with every touch of his on your skin. Despite not being one for casual hookups, it was impossible for you to deny the immediate chemistry you'd had with your neighbor. Who would casual sex with your neighbor going to hurt anyway?

His lips soon took your mind away from any further thought on the manner, trailing down your neck while his hands came up to wander under your tank top, tracing your skin with his calloused fingertips as goosebumps began to form. With soft hands and a rough tongue, Jungkook had your brain emptying at a worrying speed, now becoming a shell of yourself with nothing but Jungkook in mind. Just some kisses and some hand action already had you as putty under him, what a shame.

"Can I take this off?", he murmured against your lips, hands itching under your shirt as it rode up due to his movements.

"Mhm," you conceded, your own hands going under his shirt and feeling up the muscular skin of his back.

With your consent, his hands trailed their way back out from under your shirt, reaching down to help you out of it. Underneath was a tiny piece of fabric you could barely call a bralette, doing a terrible job of hiding the goosebumps on your skin or the hardness of your nipples. His tatted hand went up to toy with a clothed breast, murmuring praise against your cheek as he angled his head to look down at your chest. His eyes trailed to yours, finding them empty of any thought and far too wanting of more of his touch.

"How about this?" he practically whispered, one hand on your breast while the other went to toy at the strap of your bralette that had fallen from your shoulder to the meatier part of your arm, fingering at it softly, almost as if teasing whether or not he'd pull it all the way down or not.

"Yes," you almost whimpered, needing the skin-to-skin touch on your chest. Your back was already arched towards his chest, your body pleading him for more without any further words necessary.

He sighed once the job was done, your chest now fully naked for him and the rest of you almost equally as nude. It was only a tiny pair of shorts with some teeny tiny panties underneath that prevented him from your full nudity. In the meantime, he was still fully clothed. But somehow you didn't mind. His touch on your body was enough to keep you satiated. Surely you'd have your turn to enjoy his own nudity later on.

A groan left him upon hastily removing your shorts, now able to feel the heat coming from between your legs through the offensively thin panties you had on. Dragging you from your thighs, he placed you on the edge of the washing machine as he himself pulled down his pants just enough to leave him with boxers and some beaten up tank top. With a huff, he began intermittently connecting your crotches, bumping his hardness against your heat with a grumble. The art of dry humping might've been lost among many, but you were thanking any higher power that Jungkook was not one of the many to disengage with it.

"You're so warm already," he sighed, face pushing its way to your neck, nosing at your scent, "'n smell so fucking good ..."

Your nails dug to the skin of his shoulders, obsessed with the drag of his cock against you. He was hitting that sensitive, swollen spot that bad you wanting to give him a key to your apartment just so he could come over and do it over and over again.

"So fucking soft n pretty," he mumbled, "God, can't believe I got such a pretty little neighbor all to myself," he rambled on and on, "Gonna make you cum like this, okay, gorgeous? Promise I'll give you more next time, just- fuck ... just caught me off guard again's all ..." all his words were slurred, clearly marking the approximation of an early orgasm. What might've been a turn off for many others had your own high approaching just as fast. A hunk of a man such as Jungkook losing himself to mere dry humping? Sign you up!

"Me too," you almost whined, mouth open as you practically drooled at the feeling of that size and girth, excitement growing within you.

"Yeah? God, so fucking good n perfect," the praise was never ending, greatly aiding your impending orgasm.

With one last groan of your name, Jungkook's hips sped up, now dragging you more harshly into him in desperation for his orgasm. It was only a few moments into his own orgasm that you came too, too stimulated from his extensive play with your chest earlier on and simply too wound up to not find release with someone as attractive as he was.

In other circumstances you would've been embarrassed at how easily your body reacted to his own, but Jungkook seemed just as affected, still panting at the exertion his high had taken from him.

"Sorry," he chuckled breathlessly a few moments later, wide boba eyes staring at you with a shy smile, "I don't usually welcome people to the neighborhood by jumping them like that, hah, I hope I didn't overstep," he needlessly apologized as he helped you clean up with nearby towels and aided you in redressing you and himself.

Giggling at him couldn't be helped — he was far too cute. He was the perfect mixture of cuteness and hotness that it made you frustrated if you thought about it for too long.

"Jungkook, I promise you that was a very appreciated welcome," you laughed as you patted his shoulder reassuringly, stepping down from the washing machine.

"Great," he nodded with a smile, though still a but shy, "Let me help you with your laundry now, then? I won't jump you again, I promise."

"Maybe for next time, then?", you attempted to flirt, high fiving yourself internally when you pulled a shy chuckle out of him.

Next time you saw Jungkook was back in your apartment.

Maybe you should've expected him to be on the other side of that door, specially considering you hadn't met anyone else since moving here, but you also hadn't expected him to be so continuously forward.

Within less than a week of being here, you'd met Jungkook, flirted with him, hooked up in the laundry room and proceeded to wash your clothes with his aid — as it turned out, he really was better than the average person at doing laundry. And now, you were curious as to what the next thing to come would be.

After a few knocks on your door, you resumed drying off your hair and walked over to the door, skin still damp and thin robe wrapped around you. Being almost nude, you decided to be smart and look through the peephole before admitting a stranger into your home. Looking through it, you found the one person you'd hoped to see every time you left the apartment; Jungkook.

Had it been anyone else, maybe you would've bothered to ask him for a few minutes in order to get dressed before attending to the door. However, seeing as Jungkook had already seen you almost fully nude, it seemed dumb to do so. That, plus the fact that you were pretty sure how today's visit would go.

"Hey," he said casually when the door was opened.

Donning yet another tank top, the contour of his muscles could be easily seen as he leaned against the frame of the door. A confident and suave smile was on his lips the moment his eyes did a once-over of your body, clearly taking notice of the singular layer of clothing you had on.

"Huh," he hummed, "You're making this too easy for me," he chuckled, letting himself in when you stepped aside to silently welcome him.

"Hello, Jungkook," you ignored him, closing the door behind him, "Are you here to help me unpack?", you questioned upon seeing him approach the few boxes located in your living room and eyeing their contents curiously.

"Yeah. Figured you were taking too long to invite me over, might as well invite myself," he said distractedly, focus all spent on a bunny figurine he found in your boxes, mumbling a quiet 'cute' to himself.

"Let me get dressed and then we can start," you said, beginning to walk to your room while he sat on the floor, beginning to open some boxed furniture you hadn't even bothered to eye since its arrival.

Already in the other room, you heard Jungkook call over before you could close your door, mentioning something about 'You'll end up undressed anyways, but okay,' causing you to chuckle to yourself.

It only took you a few minutes to moisturize and dress yourself in some comfortable loungewear, able to hear Jungkook's ruckus all the way from your room. Despite his slight awkwardness shining through sometimes, he seemed to be a very confident guy, so it made sense to you that he'd made himself at home almost immediately upon his arrival.

Heading back to your living room, you found him sat comfortably on the floor, boxed materials to build what appeared to be a bookshelf laid in front of him while he eyed a manual. Originally, he had implied that his intention to go visit you had been for another hookup, so it amused you that he had actually taken his own words literally and decided to help you out with your furniture.

As you took a seat next to him, you decided to voice out this thought to him, "Wow, you're actually going to help me unpack?" you asked amusedly, hands reaching out to copy the way in which he assembled some pieces together.

He shrugged, "It's the neighborly thing to do," he reasoned, "Plus, the sooner you're unpacked, the sooner we can do more fun stuff."

Despite it being said so casually, it was more than enough encouragement for you to put your mind to the task, knowing that the unexpected help of your hot neighbor was way better than the alternative of getting all your moving in duties done by yourself.

It took about two hours to get done with most of your unpacking, combined with putting together the few pieces of furniture you had bought and neglected to build. The last of it was found in your bedroom in the form of a few boxes of skincare and clothing you'd been too lazy to unbox, opting to instead use whatever you needed at the time and leaving the rest unpacked. Jungkook tutted at you disappointingly at this, lightheartedly scolding you for not simply organizing your stuff as soon as you moved in and revealing to you how organized he was himself.

"Is there any box you want me to stay away from?", he wondered as he rummaged through one of the various boxes you'd moved onto your bed to organize.

"Nope, what do you mean?", you wondered, pulling out a hair dryer and placing it in its rightful spot before walking back over to the bed.

"Well, for instance ..." he trailed off, pulling out a tiny piece of lace you'd forgotten was in the box labeled as 'clothes' Jungkook was currently going through. He gave you an awkward smirk, his mind seemingly battling between being smug at the thong in his hands and affected by the thought of you wearing such a garment.

Immediately, your eyes widened, a gasp trapped in your throat before you jumped at him to grab at the lace, only for him to pull it back with a laugh, now holding it above your reach. You continued to pull at him, letting out an annoyed 'Jungkook!' to express your annoyance, but still laughing at how childish he was behaving.

He let you take hold of the thong after a few more slaps to his hard chest, laughing at your frustration. To prevent your further attacks, he grabbed onto your wrists, deciding to hold you against him as you let go of the panties and paid mind to him instead. Far too casually, he leaned down and trapped you in a soft kiss, humming against your lips as his hands wrapped around your waist and your own went to his shoulders. You damned him in your mind, chastising yourself for how easily it was for you to become entranced by his touch.

"You knew what was in there, didn't you? Hmm? Seductress," he joked against your lips, though the tone of his voice didn't make you laugh, especially not when it was said in an airy whisper between open mouthed kisses.

"Shut up," you grumbled, pulling him closer, unwilling to let the kiss end.

With masterful expertise, Jungkook managed to lay you down on the space of the bed empty of boxes, hands going under your shirt to trace the soft skin of your back. His lips trailed down to your neck and reaching down to the space of your chest not covered by your tank top, grumbling against your skin.

"You smell so nice," he sighed, "So fucking soft too," he continued, not shy in feeling your skin and even breathing you in.

Tuned with you, he disconnected from you to eye you for permission to remove your shirt, dragging it away from your body after a nod of confirmation from you and proceeding to remove his own. Your hands imitated his own, also feeling up his toned body as you continued to kiss. Now leaning atop you, he ground his crotch against your own, groaning into your lips at the basic pleasure he received from it.

"How far do you wanna go?", he murmured as he ground into you, "I'll do whatever you want. I owe you, remember?", he continued, referring to your encounter at the laundry room where he promised to fuck you properly next time.

"Do whatever you want," you replied, looping your lips again, "Just- fuck, do anything," you practically pleaded.

Chuckling, he nodded, opting to lay you down properly, moving aside any boxes that were in the way so you could lay all the way back while he trailed his way down your body, tugging down the tiny shorts you'd opted for a few hours earlier. You sighed at the realization of what was to come, ashamed to admit you'd been wondering how that piercing would feel between your legs.

"So soft here too," he mumbled, kissing up your thighs distractedly, making his way up to that area between your legs that was calling his name, "Fuck, 'n smell so good," his nose practically pressed up against the very thin layer of cloth separating him from your cunt, shamelessly breathing you in as he dragged his nose to press into your clit before pulling away.

A mute whine was pulled out of you, making your thighs attempt to close without much thought, only to make his arms wrap around your legs and pull them in opposite directions in order to separate them. He took a quick moment to pull your underwear down your legs, immediately going back to wrap around your legs to keep a wide enough space for him to enjoy you.

He began tentatively, almost as if testing out how he would go about having you. It only took some encouraging mewls from you for him to really put his heart into it, diving in as his tongue delved into your cunt, moaning against you. He hummed and groaned into your cunt, especially so whenever your hands would pull at his overgrown mullet, pulling him even closer to you. Taking advantage of his large nose, he nosed at your clit while his tongue played with your cunt. Your mewls and the scratching against his scalp should've been more than enough indicator that he had you at the palm of his hand.

"Baby," he moaned against you, refusing to create any distance between you, "you taste so good, fuck," he cried out, as if he were the receiver of the pleasure. But then again, maybe he was — or at least that's the gist you got from the commotion happening under you as the bed bumped with every movement of Jungkook's hips humping against it.

"K-kook, fuck, right the- oh, fuck ... right there!", you cried when his fingers joined in on the equation, tongue focused on your clit while his fingers curled inside you to perfection.

It was embarrassing how soon you felt your orgasm approaching, but you didn't blame yourself, not when a 10 was on his knees, whimpering against your cunt and letting endless muffled praise leave his lips while his tongue refused to let out. You lost control of yourself at some point, unashamed in the way you pushed his face against you, closing your thighs around his head and ground into his face. This only caused a high pitched whine to leave Jungkook, following your silent instruction for more and giving in to you twice as hard.

"Cum, baby. Wanna taste, fuck, please," he pleaded, looking up at you for a quick moment, making your brain leave you entirely at the pretty eyes he was making up at you, practically begging for your orgasm to come.

If you were boneless and defeated before, you were more so now, losing yourself to your orgasm as the pretty boy continued to lick and suck at your release, humming as if he had just been provided the most satiating meal. The humping of his hips never stopped either, only accelerating upon your high and only halting when you'd gone down from it, insisting on pulling him up the bed to claim his lips, wanting to enjoy them while the arousal was still fresh on him.

"God, fuck, you're nasty," he chuckled breathlessly when your tongue quite literally attacked his mouth, insistent on tasting yourself on his lips. This was clearly not a complaint, but more like a happy realization, as Jungkook practically reached down your throat as he tongued at your mouth, providing you with your own taste and moaning endlessly as he did so.

"Did you cum?", you asked between kisses, eyebrows pinched with worry that you wouldn't get to play with him this time around either.

He chuckled, a bit embarrassed, "No, pretty. Almost, though. I can just finish myself off if you're tired or-"

"No!" you interrupted, not shy in reaching down to his still clothed cock, feeling the length through his clothed ad he shuddered, "Let me suck you off? Fair trade, right?", you suggested, wanting nothing more than that size inside you one way or another.

"Oh, you sure? I don't want to force you or anything-"

You interrupted again, gesturing at him to flip you over so he could be under you this time around, "No, Kook. Please? I really want it. Can I have it?", you decided to be a bit mean, playing up the begging under the assumption that a guy like Jungkook would probably enjoy it.

You were right.

"O-oh, okay, beautiful," he rasped, hands in a frenzy to undo his sweats so he could give you access to his dick, "Just, fuck, give me a second. I don't wanna cum right away," he blushed, giving you a sweet peck before leading you to your knees while he sat at the edge of the bed.

With an excited giggle, your hands joined his own to help him lower his pants and boxers just enough to give you access to his length — the same one that had dragged against you until completion just a few days prior. His groan at your touch was immediate, body physically shuddering when you wrapped your hand around it and eyed it with hunger. His hands laid on his thighs, fingers itching as he attempted to hold his reactions back.

"Can I?", you asked, leaning closer to it as your hand remained wrapped around it.

"Yes, just, fuck, don't laugh when I cum too soon," he warned with a whine.

Another giggle left you before finally lowering your head down to his own head, lips wrapping around it and suctioning meanly. With a hum, your tongue lightly licked at the tip, earning a mixture of a groan and a sigh from the man north of you. Your hand remained wrapped around his length, twisting while you tortured the tip with your mouth. To ensure you could really drive him crazy, your other hand joined in, playing at his balls and earning yet another sound of supplication from him.

"G-god, fuck, wait- Don't- Fuck, more, baby, please," he begged, hand shyly going to the back of your head to lightly encourage you to engulf him in your mouth.

"Want my mouth?", you asked as you let go of him, though still lightly licking at the sides of his dick, unwilling to stop teasing for as long as you could help it.

"C'mon, baby. I gave you my mouth, just- Oh, fuck, yes," he sighed when you decided to practically down the majority of his dick, enveloping as much as you could while using your hand to jerk off the small percentage of it that couldn't fit into your mouth.

You decided to show off as much as you could, taking him far enough to gag and pushing through it for as long as possible. The whines and whimpers coming from the man above you were more than enough reward for your efforts.

"F-fuck, you don't have to g-gag, baby, shit, don't force yourself," he panted out, barely able to get those words out without effort. This only encouraged you further, puffing out air from your nose in order to obtain as much oxygen as possible. You knew he wad almost at his end, so you used every asset available to you to break him. You took breaks to breathe every so often, but other than that, you were practically a machine attached to his cock.

"Okay, shit, fuck," he stammered out curses, "Gonna cum, pretty, w-where? In your mouth? Please? Fuck, let me cum in your mouth," he rambled while his hands made a mess of your hair as he attempted to keep it away from your face. His hips also began a slow and shy grind against your face — a barely visible movement but still completely present. It represented his lack of control as you blew his mind away, something which went straight to your core.

You nodded, humming against his dick knowing it'd cause a vibration that'd have him keening for his orgasm. And right you were, as his hands shamelessly pushed your head into his cock without a second thought, clearly too overcome with the pleasure of his orgasm to worry about gagging you with his cum. You, however, took it like a champ, reasoning that within some seconds you'd get to breathe properly again.

"G-god, baby, just like that ... C-cumming, shit" he cried, hips still pushing into your mouth. You wished you could see how his whiny demeanor manifested onto his face — those gorgeous features must've looked breathtaking when pleasure was all he felt.

Finally, you gasped out for air after having swallowed as much as you could manage, with some of it dripping past your lips. Jungkook let himself lay back on the bed to catch his breath while you remained on your knees catching yours.

This lasted very little when Jungkook suddenly decided to use his brute strength to drag you up on the bed, sitting your still wet middle on his flaccid self, pulling you in for yet another tongue-filled kiss. He hummed and moaned and whined as he licked every remnant of his essence from your mouth, causing a similar reaction from you.

After the fact, you shuffled yourself off him and made space on the bed to huddle up to his side, which he welcomed by cocooning you under his arm and pulling you flush against him. It was comfortable and silent for a few moments as you continued catching your breaths and letting the sweat on your bodies transpire — you also made a mental note to invite him to take a shower (with you, maybe).

"You moving in next door was not on my bingo card, but thank fucking god for that," he chuckled after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah? You didn't stalk your previous neighbors for a hookup?", you joked, receiving a devious squeeze of his strong arm in retaliation.

"Shut up," he tutted, "You like that I'm like a dog following you around."

Fair enough.

Silence then took over again, up until the two of you were rested enough and decided to get back to the task at hand — putting furniture together and unpacking anything that was left boxed (though you decided to leave any boxes that may contain panties away from his reach).

It was easy for you to fall into fun conversation with Jungkook, which only led to him staying over for far longer than anticipated, taking up your day and even ordering takeout for you to eat after getting all the grunt work out of the way. A shower was had, though you mutually agreed for no funny business (other than a good ten minutes of making out under the water, but that didn't count in your eyes). Since he lived right next door, he managed to extend his visit up until the last minute, entertaining you more than anything had in the past week of moving in.

One month into your new place and you decided the move was probably one of the best decisions you'd ever made. You'd come to find that Jungkook's old neighbor was not the only old lady living in the building, but that the neighborhood was mostly made up of old people (which, granted, Jungkook had warned you of in passing). That gave to a slightly boring home life, but you liked it better this way. Jungkook being your sole young neighbor was more than enough, specially with how often he went out of his way to seek you out.

After those first two hookups, no time for anything else was really had. This made you embarrassingly needy. The anticipation for finally having actual sex with Jungkook was too much too handle, specially when he'd still occasionally bump into you and catch you off guard with a kiss (which usually led to a make-out far too filthy for the public setting). You'd started your new job a week after moving and Jungkook was occupied by some reason or another, meaning that you'd only really see each other in passing. Although you'd text and keep up with each other, the frustration continued to build up.

The third time you were really able to get Jungkook alone was a little over a month after moving in.

You weren't particularly proud of how it is that you got him back in your apartment, but in your defense, you were ovulating that night and feeling particularly needy. Knowing that Jungkook was a bit of an unserious man, you knew that some pull from you and he'd put everything aside to come crawling. The thought itself made you feel powerful.

With a single 'accidental' text (maybe it was a lewd image, you'll never tell), you began to hear obnoxious knocking on your front door — within seconds of delivery, might you add. Excitedly, you walked over to the door, opening it to find a breathless Jungkook holding up his phone with your conversation pulled up, the incriminating picture taking up his screen.

"You're so mean to me," he managed to say before you pulled him in with a kiss, kicking the door behind you and turning around so he could press you up against the now closed door.

"Mean? I didn't do anything," you feigned between kisses, already lightheaded.

"I've been wanting to come over," he sighed into your lips, trailing down to your neck to catch his breath, "Just been so busy, fuck. If you wanted me so bad, you could've just come visit. I'd drop anything to have you," he continued, unable to unglue his lips from your skin. His hands mirrored his sentiment, grabbing at every curve with a desperation you hadn't seen from him before.

"I thought you were the one that was supposed to be chasing after me?", you joked with a breathless chuckle.

"Sometimes I need a little encouragement, baby. Need to know I'm not just bugging you," he replied as he undressed you almost as if it were second nature to him.

Walking you back into what he knew to be your room, he laid you down, now donning nothing but your panties. He soon after matched your nudity, stripping of his muscle tee and sweats, making his way on top of you as he'd done last time.

"Will you be mad if I fuck you?", he rasped, one hand at your boobs and another rubbing at your cunt through the thin layer covering it.

"You're an idiot," you deadpanned, "I'll be mad if you don't."

Needing no further confirmation, his hand slipped past your panties, rubbing circles on the puffiness of your clit while continuing to kiss you. This didn't last for long, simply being used as an aid to lubricate you with your own wetness as his fingers reached a little souther to smear your slick around while his thumb continued to play with the swollen bud.

Already unclothed, Jungkook took his hand away from you, resulting in a whine from your lips to his and moving his hand onto his own arousal. Jerking himself a few times, he stopped kissing you in favor of leaning back to look down at you while twisting his fist on his dick. After quickly fishing for a condom from his discarded pants, he went back to his previous position, rolling it in while you nagged at him to hurry.

Before actually entering you, of course he had to piss you off one last time by teasing your clit with the tip of his cock, groaning when he felt you flutter beneath him. One kick from you was enough for him to chuckle and finally enter you, groaning in unison with you at the feeling.

"Jesus Christ," you groaned when you felt him begin bottoming out, inch by inch filling you up enough to cause an unknown level of pleasurable pain. You hadn't stopped to think what that size would feel like inside you — or at least as much as he was able to get in.

Above you, Jungkook looked tortured, still and with a wincing look on his face as he waited for the green light to begin moving in and out of you. It took you a few moments longer, nimble fingers digging into the muscles of his arms before you finally nodded at him to move.

"Fuck," he groaned upon finally beginning to pick up a pace, biting his lip and his eyes almost rolled back.

"More," you urged, falling in love with the feeling of him immediately.

Your eyes were crossed, your fingers digging far too painfully into his skin, your legs wrapped around him like a vice, everything was far too intense far too quickly. He obeyed your plea immediately, making matters worse for you, having already been blowing your mind prior but now simply melting it.

"How do you feel this good?", he grunted. His arms reached your thighs, pulling you up a bit to hammer into you at a better angle, "Should've fucked you since that first day, shit. How'd I get such a pretty- fuck, such a pretty girl delivered right to my door?", he went on, sweat building on his skin.

The slapping of skin sped up with the proximity of Jungkook's orgasm, just as yours followed along. His hands were restless, attempting to hold you up while also thirsty to feel every possible inch of your body.

"Please tell me you're close, or else this is going to be really embarrassing for me," he muttered onto your skin.

With a chuckle, you confirmed your incoming high, whining when he finally let himself go and sped up in order to reach his own orgasm, now more relaxed knowing you were right with him.

He let out some uncharacteristically high moans as he filled up the condom, groaning and stilling once he was finally done. You joined him mere seconds later, arching your back and pressing your chest against his own as bliss encompassed you. Despite the sticky sweat covering you both, Jungkook let himself fall against you, pulling out and placing the condom aside momentarily so he could lay beside you while you caught your breath.

In the almost silent room, Jungkook nuzzled against you and kissed the sweaty skin he could reach, hands playing with your hair as he pressed you up against him.

"Would it be bad if I asked you out? Or should I have done that before seducing you in the laundry room?", he wondered out loud, leaving love bites on your neck.

You laughed at how random he could be, appreciating how he spoke his thoughts aloud most of the time, "You can ask me out, I won't bite. Unlike some people," you muttered the last part, giggling when he gave you a slightly harsher bite.

"You like it, don't lie," he muttered, suddenly getting up and dragging you with him despite your whine in negation, "C'mon, we're going to take a shower, have a quickie, and then I'm taking you out for some boba," he decided, using his inhuman strength to pull you up and drag you to your restroom.

"But-"

"C'mon, I've been wanting to ask you out since you moved in, I'm already late," he hushed you, carrying your basically limp body to the restroom with the promise of a fun night, something you did not have it in you (nor did you want to) deny.

to read short 1.6k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on patreon!

content: smut, afab reader, oral (f receiving), etc.

wc: 433 (teaser); 1619 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"Are you ever going back to your apartment?", you murmured, though it was likely muffled by the large body wrapped around you.

"What, already tired of me?", asked Jungkook as he continued to nose at your skin, a habit you realized he had soon after making things official. He had a sensitive nose, he'd said once, always enjoying the cosmetic products that gave you that floral scent he adored.

After a month of officially dating, Jungkook had become the human manifestation of a leech. It was rare for him to leave tour side whenever you so happened to have free time and would take advantage of the proximity between your apartments.

Being frank, this was something you loved about him. Still in the honeymoon phase, there was nothing better than getting to see your boyfriend at any given time, especially when he was the one seeking you out. He made you feel wanted and like you were a necessity for him, almost as if he had an addiction to you.

That being said, the man just would not leave your apartment.

Now, this wasn't too much of a bother thus far. You liked it, in fact (at least for the most part). He was quite clean while also being laid back, which was a great combination to have in a person who was practically taking on the role of your roommate.

He did, however, prove to become a distraction when it came to your day to day life. You allowed yourself to indulge in his company too much, leading to a huge drop in your productivity.

But what could you do? He was addictive.

"You love having me around, don't lie to yourself," he continued, "What, tired of waking up to head?", he joked, hands making their way under your shirt to cheekily trace your skin.

"Waking up to head?," you asked incredulously, "You woke me up by tickling me, you menace."

He chuckled, adjusting himself on the bed so he could climb on top of you, knees settled on each side of you and hands slowly bringing your top up.

"Okay, fine. Maybe I've been a bad guest. Let me make it up to you?", he grinned, snaking his way down your body until his head was leveled with your stomach, kissing the skin he'd freed just moments prior.

"Better make it worth my while or else I'll start charging you rent for every hour you spend in here."

"I'll move in. Don't threaten me with a good time," he joked, knowing most of his time was spent here with you regardless.

...

find the 18+ continuation on patreon!

if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3

[lcandothisallday]

Court Side Butterflies Part 1 - Jack Harlow x f!reader

this actually SUCKS but oh well. Might make a part 2

photo credit to @a-moment-captured !!

You walk under the tunnel with your best friend, making your way through the swarms of people to get your court side seat. Your best friend was dating a player on the Boston Celtics—Jaylen Brown to be exact, which warranted the both of you sitting court side to support her man.

With it being a game 7, you knew this game was going to be tense and you only hoped the Celtics would win so that your best friend could celebrate with her boyfriend. If it were up to you, you didn’t really care who wins—only wishing for an exciting game.

“I’m gonna go speak with Jaylen real quick,” your friend mused. “Wish him luck and all.” You nod and smirk at your love sick friend. “Wish him luck for me too!” you exclaim as she walks away.

There was still about 15 minutes until the game officially started so you decided to take your seat and chill on your phone in the meantime.

While you’re scrolling through Instagram, two quite large people walk in front of you—one of them nearly stepping on your toes.

“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry!” the man exclaimed. “Did I step on your toes?—”

You look up at the bald man and shake your head with a laugh. “No no you’re good,” you reassure. Your line of sight trails to see the man going to take a seat next to him, your eyes going slightly wide when you realize it was Jack Harlow.

Jack’s dad sits next you, prompting him to make small talk. “Routing for the Celtics?”

“Yeah,” you confirm with a nod. “Here with my best friend—she’s dating Jaylen so I guess I gotta be supportive of the both of them,” you joke.

“Oh—are you not a basketball fan?” he chuckled in question.

“I am! It’s just been a long day,” you laugh.

“Jeez Dad—leave the poor girl alone. Probably doesn’t wanna talk to you all night,” Jack teased, causing his Dad to scoff playfully and for you to giggle.

“Jack,” he introduced, extending his hand towards you. “Y/N. It’s nice to meet you…and your Dad ” you reply with a smile.

Jack’s Dad smiled at the interaction before he leaned in close to his son, his voice low. “Wanna sit next to her?” he whispered in question. “She’s pretty—maybe you could get her number,” he mused, playing wingman.

Jack’s face heated up, his cheeks blushing with a tint of red. “Uh…not now. It’ll be too obvious. Plus she’s a model…to many eyes on us,” he whispered back a bit bashfully. He couldn’t deny that you were indeed beautiful and he would’ve loved the opportunity to talk more and get to know you— but there were simply too many eyes and cameras around to risk any annoying rumours that frankly he didn’t wanna deal with.

Soon enough, your friend makes her way back to her seat, leaning in close with a knowing smirk. “Jayson asked about youuuu,” she hummed matter of factly which Jack couldn’t help but overhear. While he loved Jayson and considered him a friend, the jealousy still bubbled within him. He knew it wasn't warranted--after all he barely knew you but it didn't stop his feelings.

He was still intrigued to hear your response so he sat quietly, his dad also unknowingly doing the same.

You scoff at your friends remark. “He's too hot and cold with me...until he wants to commit then I'm not doing anything," you shrug.

You friend groaned, “oh come on y/n! He likes you—you like him—the sex is great apparently—”

“Oh my god!” you interrupt exclaiming. “Shut up! Just please shut up,” you groan, shaking your head in embarrassment. “That’s not something you can say in public with media and fans everywhere,” you mutter lowly.

Your friend shrugged. “I just want you to be happy.”

“How about I worry about that and you worry about cheering on your boyfriend,” you deadpan.

“Suite yourself.”

You sit quietly for the remainder of quarter, your arms crossed as you stared ahead with a stoic expression. You loved your friend but she can be a bit much at times.

When half time finally came around, your friend got up to comfort Jaylen for being down a couple points. “You coming?”she asked, more so wanting to know if you were going to talk to Jayson.

“Nah—I’m gonna stick here.” She simply nodded and headed off.

“Your friend seems like a handful,” Brian spoke to you with a chuckle, causing Jack’s eyes to widen. “Dad!” he scolded.

You however thought it was funny and began laughing. “She…she really is. I’m sorry you guys had to um…hear that,” you breath out shyly.

Jack licked his lips with a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it…my best friend Urban would’ve said worse,” he mused, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ok good to know it’s a universal experience,” you hum.

Brian smirked. “Hm—why don’t you two kiddos go grab us some drinks?” he suggested. Jack’s head snapped towards his dad, glaring at him while his cheeks turned red.

“Yeah why not,” you replied.

You and Jack walked side by side to the concession stand, him walking with his hands awkwardly in his pocket. “Your dad is very nice,” you began.

Jack scoffed playfully. “Nah—he’s tryna play matchmaker,” he laughed, shaking his head shamefully.

“Ohhhh I see,” you hum teasingly. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t working,” you confess, your cheeks burning up.

Jack grinned. “Damn—might need to have him work his magic more often,” he hummed.

You scoff in feigned offence. “Only if it works in my favour. Wouldn’t want him helping you get other girls.”

“Oh so you’re territorial huh?”

“What if I am?” you taunt in question.

“Fuuuck,” he laughed, his dimple appearing as he ran his hand through his hair. “I cant lie—that’s hot.”

“So tell me…if I ask you out,” Jack began nervously as he scratching the back of his neck. “Am I gonna have to worry about Jayson and his ‘great sex?’”

“I’m not seeing him anymore.”

Jack shook his head. “That’s not what you implied back there…if he committed…are you gonna commit back?” he asked, reiterating what you said to your friend earlier.

You sighed. “I’m sure I could ask you the same thing—with all the girls around you,” you point out.

“Nahhh—don’t do that. Don’t gaslight me and twist it back on me,” Jack laughed while shaking his head. “When you figure it out—I really would love to take you out…maybe even show you what great sex really is,” he smirked.

“Deal.”

[mychlapci]

TFA anon is SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY ON BULKHEAD DREAM BUT HERE IT IS NOW

Anyways, in Decepticon society, I feel like in terms of romantic relationships, bots that are large and chunky like Bulkhead are considered to be very desirable. In fact, Decepticons are known to violently fight over those types of bots with other potential mates. Large and fat bots are desirable because they are able to carry many sparklings (averaging around four to five sparklings. The most was thirteen) and are generally very attractive to Decepticons unlike for Autobots those types of mechs are looked down upon.

So when Blitzwing and Lugnut met Bulkhead for the first time, they were immediately enamored. He was large enough to carry a fat litter of sparklings with hardly much trouble and was good looking as well. He was kind but also could hold his own if ever threatened by someone. Team Prime was incredibly confused when Blitzwing and Lugnut suddenly started acting weird. Towards Bulkhead they were more friendly and flirtatious but towards the rest of them they were more hostile. Maybe they considered the Autobots as a threat towards their courtship for Bulkhead. Additionally, they also started to bring Bulkhead gifts ranging from small trinkets to literal energon crystals for some reason.

It got even weirder when out of nowhere, Lugnut and Blitzwing just started brawling right in front of them. Like- actually brawling. Just snapping and clawing and just overall animalistic. Then they realized that had a job to do and went back to attacking the Autobots like nothing happened.

And then it gets even weirder. When it’s just Bulkhead and maybe even one other person like Bumblebee, Blitzwing starts doing these weird maneuvers in the air as if he was dancing and Lugnut just starts randomly showing off displays of strength by let’s say ripping a tree out of the ground (which Bulkhead does not appreciate in the slightest)

Ratchet is the first one who pieced together that they were not trying to intimidate them like they first suspected but were in fact trying to court Bulkhead. At this revelation, Bulkhead is both flattered and very flustered and Bumblebee just unhelpfully pats his arm and solemnly tells him good luck.

Since the two would not stop their advances on Bulkhead they decided to weigh the pros and cons of dating either Lugnut or Blitzwing. I am not joking. Ratchet literally pulled out a whiteboard from god knows where and told them to check the pros and cons before he hits them all with a wrench. In the end, the tallying for the both of them ended up being tied so they genuinely debated on just flipping a coin and choosing from there but Bumblebee comes up with the frankly obvious solution and just asks “Why not just pick both?”

Problem one just got solved just like that.

Problem two just got complicated because now Bulkhead was pregnant.

So when Bulkhead accepted the both of them as his mates Lugnut and Blitzwing got a bit too excited and ended up fucking him so hard not only was he sore and limping for the next two weeks, but they knocked him up as well. Lovely.

So now they had to deal with two very overprotective sires, a teammate who’s down for the count because he’s carrying a whole litter worth of sparklings, and then dealing with Decepticons while being down a member.

And also Megatron showing up more often and gaining an interest in Optimus which- what???

Ratchet might just kill someone if he has to deal with any more of this shit.

OH. holy shit I thought I answered this… crying emoji. so sorry TFA anon. 

You know I'm a big believer that Decepticons would find big fat bots extremely attractive. What's a skinny little speedster gonna go? They'll snap with the weight of a strong soldier on their waist. But big bots? They can carry many good heirs. The moment the 'Cons see Bulkhead they're swooning all over. He's a big fat bot, in prime breeding age, how can they just let those unappreciative autobots keep him? 

There's probably a momentary truce as Blitzwing and Lugnut need to balance wanting to keep their pretty carrier all for themselves, and Bulkhead still wanting to stay with the team. But I bet he enjoys knowing that he's swelling with babies and it only makes the 'Cons want him more. He was never desired this insanely and definitely not for his size… it’s very flattering.

(Okay, but do you think that Megatorn taking interest in Optimus is considered odd? Everyone is just shaking their heads as Megatron makes moves on the skinny-waisted little twink. They won't say anything, but they know he's choosing a sub-par carrier. How sad… Megatron and his ugly ass autobot boyfriend...)

[bloodgulchblog]

What are some of your favorite examples of Chief telling jokes/being a little shit bc personally I’m eternally fond of the one in Halo CE where he purposefully crashes a banshee to mess with Cortana

I am going to go way overkill on this assignment, one sec...

Fall of Reach: In general, John being a win-focused baby jackass as a kid and having to learn about teamwork under threat of Kelly and Sam kicking his ass.

Also Cortana learning oh, of course, he's insane.

"No thanks to your driving, yes," and that thing where Cortana accidentally teleports him upside down and he gives his own helmet a little thump about it in CE.

Flashback in First Strike

Permission to leave the station to give the Covenant back their bomb in Halo 2. Also honorable mention Cortana: "Unfortunately for us both, I like crazy."

I think there's a lot of characterization of John in not just the bits where he says something that's a joke, but in the things he just lets people say to him without refuting, like when Johnson's fussing over him a bit at the start of 3 and is just like one of these days you're gonna land on something as stubborn as you are and John doesn't argue with him about it or even say anything back. You get this sense that he enjoys people being a little harmlessly exasperated with him. He loves being the big crazy bastard that everyone's kind of amazed with but also wants to strangle.

Telling Cortana "Thought I'd try shooting my way out, mix things up a little" near the end of Halo 3. (I'm getting a little sidetracked but I see so much tenderness with him playing confident about getting Cortana out of there at the end of 3 when she is so so so bad off.)

The bit in Escalation where Hood tells him he could make Admiral if he wanted and Chief tells him "the Admiral" doesn't have the same ring to it and Hood's like "Was that a joke, son? I didn't know you had it in you."

In general I felt like he didn't joke as much in 4 and 5 (and I think that's for obvious reasons given how bad he is doing) but I also do not have 4 and 5 inscribed on my soul the way I have CE-3, so I might be incorrect here. He's also just never funny in Denning Halo novels for me (part of why his characterization grates me in those) but Denning's sense of humor and mine seem to just never intersect ever and it's more of a style thing.

Chief deadpan joking with Esparza and Weapon in Infinite meant a lot to me because it felt like a return to form. The "Requires a hack." "Can you do that?" "No." CRUNCH! bit at the start in particular was like oh my god yes, yes they did it they found him again my boy is home I missed him.

[notablogtwiy]

Angela And Spencer

Hello, everyone. I'm new here, not just to Smosh, but a little bit to Tumblr as well. And I'm jumping right into the deep end, I guess.

Okay, the thing is I absolutely love the Angela and Spencer dynamic. As a friendship and an amazing duo. It's just important to remember that they are not fictional, they're real people, so I don't let shit get weird. Is the idea of them together appealing? Sure, it is. I just believe it's okay as long as no one is being weird, creepy, or obsessive about it, then having casual fun with it is cool. Just be respectful. That's one of the reasons why I was hesitant to make this post because it might come across as something more than what it is. Which is just me enjoying my favorite duo, having fun, and sharing that with others.

Okay, now that's out of the way…

Spangela. As I've mentioned, I love them very much and I feel like not a lot of people talk about them. Now, more and more people are seeing the light, though. I still feel like they're closer than any of us realize. I only found two awesome compilations of them on YouTube, which was very surprising to me as a new fan of Smosh, I thought for sure there would be more. The compilations are created by @fvckwluv and they are an amazing editor, go check them out if you haven't already.

And because I get very anxious and I don't know many creators here and I don't want anyone to feel weird about my request. I'm making this post with some of my favorite moments, hoping that someone will kindly volunteer and make a compilation and add just a few of these moments to it. @fvckwluv I'm looking at you. Kidding, kidding. No pressure, lol. But I'd still appreciate it if one or two of them happen to make it in your next video because your editing is awesome and you can make all the moments work together well.

Okay, now, I can't do all my favorite moments in one post because that will be even longer than this one. I know. But yes, this post can be even longer. So, I'm only gonna start with sweet and very subtle moments that I feel show they're close friends and know each other well, as well as moments where Spencer is just being sweet to Angela. And if this works out and someone makes a video, then I'll post my other favorite moments. I mean, they roast each other constantly and they quite literally attack each other in Don't Win Mario videos all the time, so that should be its own thing.

So, I'm not including popular stuff of theirs. For now, I'm simply focusing on the underrated, subtle, and sweet friendship moments. Mostly. I will also be adding time stamps as much as I can, so it would be easier for anyone who wants to check them out or if anyone just wants to make a video.

--------------------------------------------------------

(The Chosen Moose Master Multiverse):

I mean, that whole video is just incredible. Their interactions are fucking gold. But other than the obvious moments, I like the subtle ones. When they start joking about Spy Kids. At 10:28, Spencer says to her, "And you love traitors." I'm starting with this moment, so you can understand what I mean when I say subtle moments. Because this one shows that he knows her and I like that.

When Angela does her second finishing move. At 20:38, I love how Spencer goes, "Oh, my god, I just got chills."

At 20:38, when she mentions that they forgot a rule during their turn with the I don't want to get a boner joke. I love the way he's smiling at her, saying. "We can take it back." And she smiles, too. "It's okay, I just wanted to get it in there."

Also, the last like 6 minutes of the video where he's so impressed laughing and clapping while she annihilates everyone.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Do you pick your nose in public):

They were both hesitant and unsure about smelling good to others. At 19:54, when Angela starts talking, I just like the way he's looking at her, so that's nothing. Just a me thing.

And at 20:26, you can see them in the background nodding at each other reassuringly.

At 25:55, he jokingly asks Angela "So you're telling me if I come to you with a pimple…" I know Chanse answers him, too, but he was very clearly looking at Angela when he was talking, he also laughed at her chatGPT answer.

--------------------------------------------------------

Okay, look, I just love seeing how they progressed in their relationship over time. In earlier videos, you can so clearly tell that they're still trying to feel each other out a little bit, it's so sweet.

Two times there was a tie, and Spencer had to be the tiebreaker, and both times, he picked her. Again, it's nothing, but I like these videos. The worst dates ever? Video. Spencer joins at 30:43. And the Our Craziest Business Ideas so Far video, Spencer joins at 35:55, Spencer liked her idea there, as he should, it was great. And it was also really funny when they all leaned in to smell him because he smelled so good, apparently.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Don't Win Mario Kart):

This video was amazing, just because Angela won that shit, but also because Spencer was so hyped whenever she won, and at 8:57, he was like, "Oh my fucking god." And, 20:35, he goes, "Angela won again!" In like, an excited voice.

And when Chanse was teasing her and telling her that her hair smelled bad when she was dancing and celebrating, for whatever reason, Spencer says at like, 20:11 "Show us how you washed your hair." Which is just…a great thing to say for me to think about. Thanks, Spencer.

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(Is He Cheating? Reddit Stories):

I mean, the whole video is a favorite moment on its own. But of course, the 13:27 Nerfs are in the gun joke, the look he gives her after is one to dissect, for sure. The first time I watched it, I was like, "What's wrong with him? Why is he looking at her like that? The joke wasn't that bad." And then I thought, maybe it was an inside joke or something because his reaction was so…weird, but also really hot? But the slight smirk was just…yeah, it was something. I was confused, mainly. I love them.

And the exchange goes on for a while, too. After Shayne asks for clarification Angela explains, and Spencer turns back to her and says softly, "That's crazy." And then they both just exhale a little laugh while covering their faces. Yeah, I think about this a lot. But I also feel like it was just a moment with no explanation behind it.

At 14:07, When Shayne announces an update and Angela leans in excitedly with her mouth open, Spencer sees her in the monitor or screen thing. He sees her and smiles and then leans in with her, too, with an agape mouth. I liked that moment. Especially that small smile and chuckle he lets out when he sees her reaction before doing the same thing himself.

At 52:33, when Angela starts humming jokingly at the Reddit story and he joins, I love how long it goes on. She just keeps doing it while he's silently laughing.

At 53:42, when Spencer makes the uggo joke, and Angela laughs and explains it to Shayne, I think you can see him looking at the monitor again, smiling while she speaks. And of course, when they lean in together at the end of the video showing off their matching hats. Like, we get it, you're insanely cute.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Overcooked):

The glasses saga starts at 2:02. And from there, it's all hilarious and cute at the same time. But, an underrated part, is at 18:33, after Angela says "They're in my car." the first time. You can hear Spencer ask, "Do you want me to go get them?" And you can see Angela shake her head no. But it's very faint, though, you have to wear your headphones to hear him.

--------------------------------------------------------

Okay, now, live streams. Live streams are where they truly thrive and shine.

(Sharing YOUR SWORD AF fan art live):

Just one very small moment here and it's still a good one. People kept sending how sexy Angela is in the chat and how she is the sexiest woman alive, and I mean, they're so valid for that. Anyway, Amanda kept bringing it up to Angela because she wasn't wearing her glasses and couldn't read the comments. And then Spencer was like, "I told them to shut up." It was just so funny and so cute. The whole sexiest woman alive thing starts at 1:24, but the Spencer comment is said after the 2:32 minute mark conversation between Amangela.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Don't win Mario Party Charity live stream):

At 11:54, he helps with her controller.

At 15:53, he references the papa thing she did in the cards against humanity video, and then he does it throughout the stream, as they all do, consistently. But he does it a lot.

Side note: Spencer also clearly mentioned once that he was cracking up when Angela was doing that, but I can't remember which video he said it and it's driving me crazy. If anyone can remember, let me know.

At 30:08, Spencer got confused about winning/not winning and Angela kinda chuckled and touched and patted his arm and he turned to her smiling. Again, a small moment, but I live for those.

Like at 30:20, when Angela starts singing the words don't win loudly and Spencer just looks at her and smiles, and Angela just lightly smacks his arm. Yeah, these are my moments. Sigh.

At 33:24, after she tries to sabotage him and Shayne, Spencer's like, "You're not even playing. what if I fully put down the controller and choked you out?" And just joking about not realizing that she wasn't playing.

Another choking comment to Angela by Spencer.

(The other one was in the latest Don't Win Mario Party video when they finally got day at the races. Angela says that she almost googled Day at the Races that morning to see what it looks like. And Spencer just straight up goes, "I would've choked you out." Which is so unhinged. And I love him so much for it. Truly. Thanks, Spencer.)

Back to the stream, at 34:18, Angela almost spoils a video about who wins in it and Spencer goes"Shhhhh. They're not even gonna watch it now", and she's like, "They don't watch for the winners." And he replies, laughing, "I know."

But the cutest part is Angela still very softly whispers and apologizes to him about almost spoiling it at 34:37, and it's just so sweet and melted my heart, Angela is adorable. You have to use a headphone to be able to hear her, though.

(Her apologizing to him happened two more times, I believe. That latest don't win video, when they were both Mario and Luigi and on the same team. When they lost, she said, "I'm sorry, Spencer." And on Reddit Stories, she says I'm sorry after he teases her about the fact that she doesn't give him enough time to get to a joke.)

At 34:47, Angela screams about mini-games incorrectly and he, of course, laughs, and then at 34:56, he asks her if she's singing Taylor Swift and teases her and says, "Dude, you were down bad last night" and then I can't hear what he said after that, something Taylor Swift? Most likely, singing. And then Angela of course says, "Shut up." It was a nothing moment, but again, I live for those.

Since she gave her controller to Courtney, Spencer turns to her at 37:59 and asks, "Hey, do you wanna use my controllers?" Angela got confused about what he was asking and then joked that she was already playing and Tommy joined in, the whole thing was cute, okay? Don't judge me, lol.

45:48, Spencer suggests that they, "de-italian Angela and get her fixed." And they all joke about that for a while. But what I love is that When Angela agrees to actually do it at 47:11 because she's awesome, Spencer says "Okay, thank you." because he knows that what he suggested was a bit insane, and he should be grateful that she's just as unhinged as he is.

At 50:33, Spencer jokes about the cone again, "You know how it is with Angela, man, she keeps getting into the trash." I'm including this joke because Angela laughed so damn hard at it. I love her ability to laugh at herself so much. Nothing but respect for her, honestly.

At 52:25, Spencer makes a weird sex joke, and Angela's like, "Spencer…" And then he goes, "Look, okay, it's a work in progress."

(This could also be paralleled in the latest don't win Mario party video. When Spencer says, "I hope I don't come in my pants." Everyone laughs, and Angela says, "Don't laugh at that." You can see Spencer close his eyes briefly, shaking his head and smiling.)

1:01:56. Somebody in the chat suggests they fix Spencer for a certain amount of money. And Angela's like, "That's not gonna be enough." And he continues her joke, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

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(Boozy Painting Anthony For His Funeral live stream):

At 35:23, Angela excitedly asks him to paint something on her cast, and his response is equally as excited, open mouth and everything. I love that he tries to give her the same energy she gives other people. As he said on who meme'd it, it's the best part of Angela and you can tell he appreciates it so much and he tries to give her the same reactions to the things she says. I've noticed it a few times now. (For example, it happened in the Lego stream as well when she was talking about submitting options for her school mascot, he was giving her an Angela-type reaction to a very tame and normal story.)

At 39:38, after he messes up her cast, I just love that he wanted to try again and was like, "Let me draw something else." And then proceeded to lean over and just paint for quite some time on her cast until Alex had to be like, "Spencer get your elbow out of Angela's painting."

Also, I like the fact that Angela was the only one who knew Spencer was planning a Chanse and Angela show special because they'd already talked about it with each other before telling anyone else. Well, I assume Alex knew as well. It starts at 1:10:10.

17:06 - 17:23. After Angela posts coffee memes on Courtney's Instagram. Spencer says, "I gotta see these." And then you can hear him and Alex laughing, and then Spencer says, "These are awesome."

48:11, Spencer says, "The way Angela says day at the races is really funny." This bit might be more on the teasing side because he does say she sounds like Bobby Hill or Peter Griffin, but still lighthearted teasing.

59:16: This. This. This moment. This damn second. I have no idea what's going on here, but the way he just came up to her and touched her arm and both smiled and stuff was cute as all hell.

1:32:09, Spencer got so excited when Angela agreed to show her drafts. And then after Shayne reads her Call Me by Your Name draft at 2:12:12, Spencer says after they're all done laughing. "I would've retweeted that shit." It's extra sweet because she's been saying all stream that her co-workers never retweet her.

Also, I love how invested Spencer was in painting her face. Not only did he go over to her to take a picture of her on his phone, but at 1:19:36, he said, "Like, I need to see some red in there." And then Courtney is like, "Stop giving notes, Spencer."

Now this is speculation and not confirmed, but also I feel like it's obvious enough. Angela mentioned that she wanted her drawing of John Pork to be on set or something like that, and now it's on the Smosh Games set next to Spencer's one-ball picture. I can only assume that the director of programming is the one who approved to put it there, so yes, that is now a part of their lore in my mind. It's incredibly sweet and I just love seeing her drawing in the background in videos so much.

Now onto the best moment of the stream, at 1:25:00, Spencer sweetly asks her, "Do you need me to hold your jacket?" Like, I'm sure there are places she could put it away safely, but no, he asked if he could hold it for her. It was just so…I love him.

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(Smosh Does Arts and Crafts live stream):

At 43:57, Angela lights up when she sees him and says "Hey!" so excitedly. And then at 4:42, when she asks him the questions they asked Alex, he answers with "you." At the fancy party question. Though, he did answer with a bit of hesitation, lol. But that could mean anything, you know. The thing is his voice was kind of shy, yet a bit deep when he said it. This is just a Spencer thing, I love his voice.

At 1:08:50, Angela messed up the RumPum name and everyone was correcting her loudly, she was like, "I'm kidding, I got your ass." Spencer then chuckles and says, "You're gonna start doing that any time you get something wrong. Oh, I got you."

And then when Spencer told her at 1:21:46 to "Tell him–tell Shayne about your plan." I'm weird, I know, but again, I like the subtle moments that show that they talk to each other and are actually friends.

(Again, this could be paralleled in the latest Don't Win Mario Party. When Spencer says he wants to do an all-day marathon, Angela goes, "I pitched a meal train like churches do." While Spencer nods. Again, it seemed like she was the only one aware he wanted to do this and he already discussed it with her, along with Alex, probably. I also like that he clearly includes her in the creatives and stuff, and cares about her input.)

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(The Ultimate Staring Contest Live Stream):

When Angela was stone-faced and not laughing, and Spencer was like, at 16:25 "I think you brought that energy to TNTL one time." Like, wow, he remembers that! I don't know why that is so, so, so sweet to me. It was an old TNTL, too. The only hard mode TNTL Angela was in, I think.

And then at 16:37, talking about her dark place, he was like, "So, wait, what, what are you thinking about?" He was just really invested and maybe, just a tiny bit worried, I think. This whole stream felt like he was trying to be so attentive.

At 34:19, Angela talks about how she was on Spencer's computer and he had to go to a meeting, and then she, Shayne, and Amanda pranked him with a fart video. But it was her idea, I believe, and she was the one who gave it to him during the meeting. Amanda mentioned that people were clapping when she left the room. At 34:58. I just love knowing these things about them.

At 1:11:10, when they didn't agree on Angela's pitch, Angela was like, "I'm just pitching, that's all." Spencer went, "No, no, it was…." you can tell he felt bad that he said no. Even Alex felt a little bad and was like, "No, no, you can stand."

1:06:48, when Angela says she feels like she's been getting too much into a dark place, and Spencer goes, "Yeah, I'm legit w–yeah." I believe he was going to say worried. And it's so sweet and also kind of proves that it's not just me, he was being extra sweet that stream. Like, when he defended her against Chanse's joke about her being cross-eyed at 1:13:39. "I've never seen that Angela, don't believe him."

At 1:11:36, Angela pitches another idea again. And Spencer says "Yeah, mirror staring, that would be fun." But then, at 1:11:43 she says, "Everyone hates my ideas." And Spencer goes, "I just suggested your idea." Again, it's nothing, but I think he could tell she was a bit deflated and it was sweet that he was trying to make her feel better.

And finally, at, 1:17:16, he asks, "Was going to your dark place worth this food…meal you're about to have?" The entire stream, it just felt like he didn't like the fact that she went there. But maybe that's just me.

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(The Beopardy Charity Stream):

It's just another parallel of Spencer backing Angela up when she says some wild shit like she did in the family vlogging video. At 39:12, When Angela says they can play two truths and a lie with piss in the guns if they reach 20k, he sweetly pats her on the back, and then when everyone was laughing and Shayne was like, "Fuck. We can never allow Angela to pitch anything ever again." Spencer says, "dude, for 20k…" And Angela goes, "Thank you, Spencer."

Also, when Keith announced that she won the whole thing, Spencer looked so happy and excited as he clapped for her.

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(Reading Reddit Stories From Our Crew Live Stream):

At 50:15 Shayne starts reading a story, and in the story, it mentions the person is only a freelancer at Smosh. And Spencer jokingly says, "Okay, Angela." It wasn't her story, though. But I thought that was funny and cute, the way she just popped into his mind, I guess.

My absolute favorite part is at 1:10:07 when Shayne asks about what they're most excited to see at Anthony's funeral. Spencer says he's most excited about Angela reading the chats as the vessel. Because that was his favorite part during Lisa's funeral. And then he went on applauding Angela on not only reading and figuring out the chats but adding her original takes as well since she's still kind of new to Smosh. The way he talks about her with so much admiration and respect. My heart.

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(The Lego Competition Live Stream):

This Stream is a Spangela stream and you can't convince me otherwise. I mean, they all kind of are, but this one…

At 14:08, they joke about building a hot and beautiful woman, and Angela just reaches over to touch him. I simply really love that moment.

And when he brings up that they were discussing their favorite Angelaisms the other night, he looks at her before he actually speaks. It's subtle, but he does, and why do I like that? I don't know, but I do.

53:54, when they were talking about a possible fake belly button ring for the chosen, I love how Angela starts joking in a British accent and Spencer smiles at her sweetly and joins in, laughing. Felt like an inside joke and I just love that.

26:30, Angela asks, "Do you wanna see mine? John pork. " Spencer goes, "You're getting there. Never give up."

At 40:42, when Spencer reads a comment about Angela and Chanse or Angela and Shayne playing fatal frame 4, Angela jokes, "Please, I've been begging, I've been begging." And then starts coughing heavily, he goes, "Do you wanna water?" The bare minimum, I know. Still, it's sweet, okay? He's like, the only one who's asked.

25:30 he says that his favorite shit was when she teased Amanda about saying something to her about the necklace during the criminal minds episode. I also like the fact that he brought that up when Chanse said something about Angela not slaying every day. And Angela was like, "You guys are just gonna sit there and let him do that to me?" I feel like Spencer's thought process was like: okay, let me bring up this moment where you were funny and how it was my favorite thing.

At 43:31, the sudoku thing. I love that he wasn't laughing with everyone else when Angela was kind of being self-deprecating about the sniper chess video and learning how to play chess. And he tried to make it better, you know, didn't fully succeed, but he did say she was great in the video and was a star. And even though he brought up that she whiffed the last two videos, he was talking about them in a positive light and that he loved them. "The werewolf ending and the criminal minds ending were the funniest shit to me."

I very much love the way he tried to imitate her. "Whoever playing the unsub better wake up." It was so cute and funny. And then when Chanse asks you said that? or something like that. Spencer replies, laughing," Something Angela fucking says." Again, in such an endeared tone of voice.

At 46:02 when Angela shows Shayne her garden, Shayne goes "Actually, I resp–I actually like that. " I love that Spencer kind of calls him out on being patronizing towards Angela a little bit and mocks Shayne and goes "Oh, you know what? I'm surprised." But the funniest part was that Spencer used the word "actually" with her when she first showed them the garden. "Oh, that's actually kinda cute." Said the hypocrite, lol.

55:20, the X-Men question. This moment is unreal. Don't even get me started on the fact that he stares at her for like, 20 seconds while smiling and shaking his head. My favorite part is not once does he open his mouth to call her out on her lying, he's just so endeared by her bit and just stays quiet to let it continue. And that look again at 57:55. He's just so…amused? Perplexed and amused? It's a similar smirk to the one he gives her after the Nerfs are in the gun joke. And yes, indeed, he does know Angela. He knows that she's blowing smoke and shit up her butt. Oh, how far they've come.

Okay, I'm done. For now. I had to cut and edit some moments out of this post, so…

I feel like most of these would be great to edit because there are a LOT of parallels. For example:

"Do you need me to hold your jacket?"

"Do you wanna use my controllers?

"Do you wanna a water?

"Do you want me to go get them (her glasses)?"

Just Spencer making sure Angela's got everything she might need. You get the idea.

I would also just love to discuss these moments, were you aware of most of them or is it just me? What are your favorite moments?

[the-fiction-witch]

Shut Up!

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Smut

Kinktober Day Fifteen

Kinktober Concept Incest

Smut Incest / step sister x step brother / full sex/ raw sex/ cum inside

I made sure the place was clean or well clean enough when I heard a knock at the door, I sighed and went to open it up but I was taken back "Hey Benny" Beth smiled jumping to give me a hug "Hey, Beth!" I smiled hugging her happily letting her in "What are you doing here?" "Layover and the flights have been delayed until nine tonight, I figured I could sit in the hotel bar feeling sorry for myself or pop up and see you" she explained wondering though setting her jacket on the chair and her bag on the table "relax I'll be out of your hair by eight"

"No no it's fine it's just uhh not who I was expecting" "Oh? You expecting someone?" She chuckled turning leaning in the chair crossing her arms "Kinda" "I thought the place seemed clean, what you got your girlfriend coming over?" She joked heading to make herself a coffee "Ohh god no" "Don't keep me in suspense then" she laughed But the door knocked "Excuse me" I sighed walking as slowly as possible not really wanting to answer the damn door but I pulled it open begin faced her I just let her in without even speaking

"Hello to you too" she snapped heading inside hanging her black fur on the rack and heading inside with her red suitcases "ohh I didn't realise I'd have company" she smirked as she stood in my apartment in her knee-high black boots, black and white plaid mini skirt and white cream jumper, her thick dark hair with intense curls her hair pinned back with a small clip on each side just above her ears "Uhhh hi," Beth said rather surprised "Beth Harmon" she said offering her hand

"Y/n Watts" she smiled giving her hand a shake "No, you are not" I snapped heading across the apartment "Mom took it so I'm gonna use it" she snapped "I don't care, you're not a Watts don't use it" "I can do what I bloody well like Benjamin" "Uhh explanation please?" Beth asked "Y/n this is Beth, grandmaster and a good friend of mine" I explained "Beth this is Y/n. My…." I trailed off not wanting to say it "I'm his sister" She rolled her eyes "Step sister" I corrected "Huu he's never mentioned you" Beth spoke up "He doesn't like me" she smiled pinching my cheek as she walked across the apartment "Why would I? You've been nothing but shit to me since you turned up into my damn life" "Can you be civil for five damn minutes!" "Whatever," I sighed heading to my chair Eventually, Beth and y/n came over and the three of us sat chatting for a while even if I had to drink to even tolerate her but that's pretty much how this usually goes. "So what are you doing in New York?" "Touring a show, figured I'd be cheap and come stay in this dismal place then getting a hotel the whole time," she explained "and I promised the folks I'd check in on my stepbrother" "A show?"

"Y/n's an actress" I smirked "And you're a chess player. Folks are thrilled about that" "How exactly is this all set up?" "My dad met my mum and had me. Mum died and he got remarried" I explained "My mother met my father and had me and then my father died so my mother remarried. And then we became siblings" "Step siblings" I corrected "He's always been pouty about it," "Yeah because you just turned up and inserted yourself into my life" "You literally inserted yourself into my space" "In case it wasn't obvious we shared a bedroom" I sighed "You were an evil thing" "So we're you" We all chatted for a while until Beth had to leave for her flight, leaving me alone with y/n. "Guess you're not just a loner chess boy" she smirked going to unpack "I'm letting you stay here to be nice. don't be a dick because I am more than happy to throw you onto the streets" "No, you wouldn't" "I would" "You are such a cunt" "me! I'm not the dick here" "yes you are you've always been a dick" "You're just mad I took half your pocket money" "You broke my favourite chessboard!" "You decapitated all my stuffed animals!" "You sewed love hearts on my jeans" "You faked an allergy so we had to give my cat away" "I wasn't faking that cat made me sneeze. Because he was a huge fluffy thing and you never brushed him" "Maybe I would if I wasn't dealing with the fact you cut my pigtails, twice!"

"You waxed my pubes while I was sleeping!" "You broke my doll house!" "You just fucking turned up! I was still in a bad place after I lost my mum and you just fucking showed up! you and your mother. we'd barely buried mine and you just showed up. and I was expected to just put everything down and accept a new mum and a sister. I never wanted anything to do with you" "You think I did! Need I remind you my dad was barely buried too before I had to pack my life up and get shipped across the county, all I was told was we were moving, and when I got there I had a new dad and some jumped-up stepbrother to deal with. Don't blame me for turning up into your life, I didn't turn up I was dragged kicking and screaming" "You boo hoo precious little princess, you always were" "DO you have to be such a bastard about everything-" She yelled I was beyond angry, all I wanted to do was shut her up! tension boiling over I grabbed her face and kissed her mostly just to stop her from talking but the moment our lips touched it felt so heavenly like all the frustration melted away she pulled back and we both just stood bright red in shock "Fuck-" "Yeah…" "where did that come from?" "I have no idea"

"It uhhh it was kinda nice" "Yeah, it was. Weird But nice. I mean terrible awful and very very wrong." I explained but she grabbed my face and kissed me, I kissed her back wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer until we both pulled back "It is nice" "It is, but very wrong, very very wrong, your my sister." "Stepsister" she corrected "Don't encourage me." "That's encouraging?" "Ohh shut up y/n" I smirked pulling her into a kiss and grabbing her ass squeezing it hard as we kissed she happily and eagerly kissed back rubbing her hands around my shirt, soon enough we were walking we kissed heading over to my bedroom until we stopped as her legs hit the bed so I pushed her down on my bed and climbed between her legs "This is for all the fucking years I spent in a bed next to you with you teasing the living crap out of me" "Did I?" she giggled "Don't play innocent you used to sit in your fucking bra just to tease me" "And how many times did I catch you masturbating while I was sleeping"

"Maybe I wouldn't have to if you came and took care of me" "Diddo" she smirked pulling me back to her lips heavily made out for a good while until I pulled away "We can't this is crazy-" I began but she smirked and turned on her stomach grinding her ass against me "Fuck it!" I groaned grabbing her hips and grinding hard on her I quickly undid my jeans and stroked my stiffening erection she giggled and tugged her panties down, I didn't waste any time burying myself deep inside her and started to pound fast and hard "Ughhhh fuck! You were an evil little thing, their precious little princess, I'm gonna fucking ruin you" "Ughhhh! you couldn't ruin me if you fucking tried. I remember your first girlfriend who walked out because you came in her hair" "I kept quiet about you fucking your eight-grade science teacher" "I passed didn't I!" "Yeah because you blew him under the science bench! you always were a little slut" "Like you weren't? those three girls you had in your Austin hotel that you never shut up about?" "It was a foursome there pretty rare I was allowed to get excited. I guess four people in one go isn't a lot for you is it?" "Ughhhh just shut up and fuck me, Benny!" She yelled moving back and forth in time with my thrusts we both got faster and louder she pushed herself hard against me as she squealed loudly hitting her orgasm I kept going working into her intense tightness until I hit my own burying myself as deep as possible. When I caught my breath I pulled out and lay in bed with her, "I think that helped. got the frustration out" "Yeah I think you're right" I nodded "We can't ever tell anyone about this" "I wasn't planning to" she laughs "Relax, genetically there's nothing between us we're not related by blood at all our parents got divorced we'd be nothing again" "Like that's gonna happen, too are smitten with each other and always have been" "Yeah, can't fault them for loving each other." "Fucked us up though" "No matter what you do you fuck your kids up, that's just having kids" "Yeah hence why I aint having any" "same." "Ohh don't tell them that they'll lose it they know neither of us is gonna give them grandkids" "I mean I'll give them grandkids if they want them" She smirked glancing at me "Lets not fucked the family tree up too much y/n"

[tdinyomomma]

Not Quite Famous- TDI X Reader (Chapter Five)

If You Haven’t Read: Four

"Okay, this is so-way-beyond bad. I'm out of fake tanner already." Lindsay whines, telling Gwen and I her dilemma. I looked down from my bunk bed as I was reading my book. "Whoa, that's tragic, Lindsay." Gwen sarcastically comments. "Now, I have to actually like suntan, in the sun." The blonde complains, "Do you realize how shriveled and wrinkly that can make your skin?" She sounds distressed as she gets up and goes over to Gwen, "Oh, you totally do." She frowns. My jaw slacks open in shock. Does this girl really not have common sense or is this a joke that only she's in on?

"All right, campers, enough beauty sleep. Time to show us what you're made of!" Chris announces over the P.A. after loudly blaring an alarm.

I sigh, placing my book down, jumping off my bed. I fix my clothes, turning to Gwen. "I wonder what stupid thing we're doing today." I smirk and she chuckles, agreeing. "Totally, at least we're actually rested for this one." She points out, getting up as well to change into her daily clothes.

"True, I'll see you wherever we're meeting." I nudged her gently, walking away not realizing I made her blush from the short interaction.

We all sat by this stage on bleachers, Gophers on one side, Bass on the other. "Are we gonna see a musical?" Lindsay questions what's going on with the stage. I roll my eyes. "I love musicals, especially the ones with singing and dancing." She clasps her hands together and I shake my head, sighing because of her stupidity. I look over to see Gwen making her way over to us and I wave her down. "Gwen! I saved you a spot!" I grin, she sits down. "Thanks." She blushes, Cody unfortunately comes over and sits on the opposite side of me.

Behind the three is Heather, glaring down at Gwen in annoyance.

Trent also decides to sit with us but he sits next to Gwen who doesn't know that the boy has feelings for her, and is flirting. Cody smiles at me, as usual and I awkwardly ignore him, thanking the gods when Chris starts speaking. "Welcome to our brand new, deluxe state-of-the-art outdoor amphitheater." He greets us, showing off the stage.

"Okay, this weeks challenge is a summer camp favorite, a talent contest." He says and I frown at the announcement but Owen of course cheers like he does for every single thing we get told. "Yes! Awesome!" He shouts.

"Each team has 8 hours to pick their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle. Anything goes as long as it's legal." He makes eye contact with Duncan, also motioning to him so he knows. Duncan snaps in disappointment.

"You'll be judged by our resident talent scout, former D.J V.J and rap legend Grand Master Chef who will show his approval via the Chef-O-Meter." He points up and something dings a few times. "The team that loses will send one camper home tonight. Good luck." He walks away, I take a deep breath. Three people means I don't have to try out for some talent so I could really care less about who they pick.

Gwen and I stand up together, and we go back to our cabins picking spots to do the judging.

We sit on our cabin's porch, Heather in front of us wearing a whistle around her neck and holding a clipboard. Blowing into the whistle she speaks up. "Okay, I'm the team captain, so here's how it's going to work." She says with authority. "Wait, who said you were team captain?" Gwen questions, holding a book in her arms. "She did. Just now." Lindsay acts as if that was obvious. We knew Heather picked herself but the team didn't agree to it.

"Lindsay, Beth and I took a vote and I won." The mean girl smiles. "Threatening them to vote for you isn't exactly democratic." Gwen explains and Trent comes over with a muffin in hand. "Hey, snagged you an extra muffin." He whispers, Gwen smiles. "Oh, thank you but [Name] already gave me hers as an extra, sorry." She rubs the back of her head. "Oh, no problem." He takes it back, holding it to his chest.

"Trent, you're cool with me leading this project, aren't you?" Heather asks him. "Right on, go for it." He says.

"Good, Beth, Lindsay and I will be the judges." She proudly states. "Whatever." Gwen sighs and I raise a brow at the whole interaction.

Now one by one each person shows off their talent of who wants to even show it off. Owen's first, drinking a whole liter of soda. "Are you gonna audition?" Trent turns to Gwen, "Doubtful." She replies. "You should be in this, Trent, you play an instrument." I remind him and I can tell he got annoyed from me being there but oh well. "True!" Gwen nods, looking up at me. "Are you going to do anything? Didn't you say you play the drums?"

"No," I nervously laugh, "I did say that but I'm not auditioning." The only things I know how to play on the drums are from my embarrassing metal loving past. And I am far from being that person. "I'm sure it would've been awesome but I get it." She leans back on me since I'm sitting behind her on the stairs just one above hers.

Owen starts burping the ABC's, the guys all root for the guy as most of the girls look disgusted. "Yes!" Owen punches the air. "That was excellent, man." Trent high fives him, Heather scoffs. "Well, you're not going to do that in this contest. That's disgusting." She exasperates.

"Do you know how hard it is to burp the entire alphabet in one go?" Trent stands up for the bigger blond boy who ends up ruining it by bending over. "I can also toot Beethoven Fifth."

"No! No, no, no." The girls try to shield themselves. "Owen." Lindsay whines, Gwen starts to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Heather integrates her. "Anywhere that's not here." She carries on with where she was heading.

We move on from whatever that was and Heather shows us her ballet moves, wearing a light pink leotard and tu-tu. We all clap at the end. "Thank you." Everyone continues to clap and she looks over at her minions, clearing her throat. "Oh, I vote for Heather to be in the contest!" The blonde one out of the two raises her hand. "I second that." Beth agrees. "Guys, that's so sweet. Okay, so I guess I'm in. Why doesn't everyone take five?" She disbands everyone. "Except you [Name]! Wait right there!" Heather calls after me, I scrunch my nose in confusion but do as I'm told, leaning against the porch railing as she talks to Lindsay about something.

She gives the girl a walkie talkie then shoves her away.

"What did you need me for?" I quiz as she walks up to me. "I thought about what you said. I want to be friends. Real friends." She smiles, I glance around to see if this is some sort of joke since we're alone. "I'm serious." She folds her arms. "Okay." I shrug, going to head back inside the cabin. "Wait, that's it?" She exclaims loudly and I snicker. "We're friends now, what else do you want? A ceremony declaring it to everyone?" I joke, she stays silent for a moment. "I don't know, I just thought there was more to this."

I shake my head. "Nope, just acting normal. Can I go now?" I ask and she only nods in return.

I ended up joining the group by sitting on the picnic tables as Izzy did her audition. "I call this the dance!... Of the Rattlesnake!" She dances getting in Owen's face while making a noise, the bigger boy actually looks hypnotized.

Then there was Beth, Lindsay and Heather joined us in watching more of the auditions. The shorter girl is twirling fire boutons. "Are you sure this is safe?" Heather gasps and the four of us lean back when she gets too close. "It's okay, I've been practicing." She throws them in the air but she runs when it starts to fall down and we all hide behind the tables.

"I kind of missed the catching class." We all crowd the burnt hole in the ground.

"Uh, guys the bush is on fire." Trent points. Justin comes out and extinguishes the fire out wearing sunshades. Leshawna brings him a bottle of water, for some reason he rips his shirt off while drinking the water. Everyone drools over him while I stand there not understanding what's going on.

"Okay, so I think it's me, Trent and Justin. Any objections?" Heather asks, everyone shakes their head and I just walk away. What's his talent though?

I sit in the cabin on Gwen's bed and start to read my book once again. I also changed into my bathing suit since it was getting hotter outside and I thought about going to the water.

I hear talking outside the door then it opens to reveal Gwen.

"Hey, I'm going to the water, wanna join?" she smiles, turning around to change, I stare down at my now closed book. "Mmm, I might not swim but of course I'll join you."I place the book down, averting my eyes from her as she finishes changing and we leave the cabin.

"You're joining here?" Heather scoffs. "Yeah, I'll see you later, darling!" I wave her goodbye jokingly using a fake British accent. "You two are friends?" Gwen turns to me and I shrug. "Sort of." I question it, myself. "Oh so you do charity now?" She jokes and I laugh. "I've been doing Charities for ever now, I got you, remember?" I tease and she gasps, playfully pushing me and we both burst into laughter.

We sit down on the dock and calm ourselves, watching the moves of the water.

"Sometimes I just need to get away from everyone here, you know?" She sighs, "I mean it's like they're all driving me crazy." She pauses then smiles at me. "Well, almost all of them." She blushes and I mentally gasp.

Does Gwen have a thing for me? No, I could be imagining things. The sun is bright today. My thoughts are cut short when the dock starts shaking. We look behind us to see Cody and Owen running down. "Cannonball!!!" Owen shouts, the two jumping and the water splashes mainly Gwen. "Ugh! I hate this place!" She storms off.

"Nice going you idiots." I shake my head. "Yeah, nice going guy.."

I huff, leaving the place as well and going towards the bathrooms. I hear crying from inside one of the stalls so I hesitantly head over to it. "Hey, is everything okay in there?" I ask a bit loudly so the person knows it's for them. "Mm, no but-" they sniffled. "I'll be fine, I guess." From the voice it sounds like Courtney. "Want to talk about it?" I offer, backing away from the door once I hear the person unlocking it and then coming out.

"Oh, it's you." She seems disappointed so I apologize.

"What's going on, pumpkin?" I go over to the sink, washing my hands and face. "Don't call me that and you're on the other team I'm not telling you anything." She folds her arms, her tears air drying on her face. "I get that but I can still be a friend to vent to." I look at her through the mirror, smiling.

She doesn't say anything, obviously considering it. "I'm sorry-" "Don't apologize, you're thinking of what's best for your team." I turn around and go up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Good luck with the talent contest." I close my eyes smiling before heading out of the bathroom.

I join my team in sitting on the bleachers, being next to Gwen as usual.

"It's the T.D.I. Talent Extravaganza!" Chris shouts. "Welcome to the very first camp Wawanakwa talent contest, where six campers will showcase their mad skills and desperately try not to humiliate themselves. First up for the Screaming Gophers is Justin!" Chris declares, we clap and cheer for our teammate, and as he performs it's just him posing a bunch of different ways and then ending it with him leaning back in a chair and dumping water on himself.

"There are two syllables for hot, "Jus "" and "Tin." Man, that guy is just so hot I could kiss him." Owen's eyes go wide from what he just said. "Because he's a good teammate. Dah, why'd I say that?" He beats himself up.

"I don't see why people gawk at Justin. He's a man who uses his attractiveness to get this. Plus as I said. He's a man." [Name] rolls her eyes.

"Okay, I don't know what that was, but dang you got some moves, dude." Chris puts his thumb up and the Chef score moves pretty high. Eight out of Ten."First up for the Killer Bass, make some noise for the big guy, DJ!" He calls and DJ des some ribbon dance, but gets caught on the pink ribbon a few times.

"Dainty and Masculine, let's see what Grandmaster Chef thinks." It was only two points. "Not much." DJ frowns and sadly walks off the stage.

"So, with two down and four acts to go, it's the Screaming Gophers screaming ahead. Next on deck... Trent! Take it away my bro." The boy comes on stage with his guitar, sitting down on a stool. "This one goes out to someone special here at camp." I wince, and hide my face knowing it's for Gwen who does not reciprocate the same feelings. She acts oblivious, not knowing it's for her either. I zone out through the whole song, not wanting to cringe out.

Chris runs out at the last strum, "Nice work, I'm liking your style, dude. So does the Grandmaster Chef." He got half score and for some reason waves at the camera for a really long time.

"All right, quit hogging my light, buddy." Chris shoves him and I try not to laugh. "Three down and three to go, and the Killer Bass are totally sucking so far. Let's hear it for Bridgette."She doesn't come out right away and then shows up doing a handstand. Burping and then throwing up, projectile vomiting. "I'm hit! I'm hit!" Owen shouts.

She continues and hits Katie and Sadie who scream, Katie throwing up as well. And then hits most of my team with her vomit. Luckily Gwen and I didn't get hit.

The poor girl slips and falls off stage and onto tyler. "Hey, puke on your own boyfriend!" Lindsay shouts at the girl who was just sick all over the place. "On your own what, Lindsay?" Heather questions angrily, hands on her hips. "I didn't say boyfriend." The blonde back tracks.

Chris plugs his nose, coming back out on stage. "Clean up on aisle three, four, five and six. In the meantime, we'll take a short break to hose the joint down." He says.

"Going home won't be so bad. I could always work at the surf shack." Bridgette frowns, wiping a tear.

"Welcome back to the T.D.I talent Extravaganza! Okay, so in a strange turn of events, Bridgette's chunk-blowing fest registered two thumbs up by Grandmaster Chef. But it's not enough to pull ahead of the Screaming Gophers who hold the lead with Trents love song. So without further delay here she is for the leaders... Heather!" Chris announces and the girl walks out on stage, sitting on a stool.

"Originally, I was going to dance for you but instead I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration." She holds out a familiar book, I tilt my head. She gently shakes it a bit, staring at Gwen. "She wouldn't." Gwen whispers after gasping and I sat there in shock. "No fucking way." I shake my head. "So with words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy." She clears her throat before reading it off.

"Okay, so I tried just being her friend, but she's just so cute. If they were trying to find the perfect person to distract me with her they got the right one, McGorgeous. We just totally connect. She's pretty much the only person I trust and relate to here and I know it's a cliche but I love how different we are but also so similar. She's so nice to everyone! Even Heather."

Gwen slides off the bleacher and runs off, I furrow my eyebrows in anger. "Thank you," Heather closes the book and makes eye contact with me. I flip her off then run after Gwen.

"People thought I was mean to Gwen. Whatever. All I needed was four votes against Justin. Lindsay and Beth were easy. Izzy's just crazy and Owen, piece of cake." She looks at her nails.

Owen's eating a piece of cake giggling. "Piece of cake." He hums.

I finally catch up with Gwen who was holding herself. "Hey-"

"Could you please save me the embarrassment for right now." She cries out, not looking at me and I frown at the sight.

"But-"

"Please, we can talk later on." She pleads and walks away and I decide to listen to her, plopping down on a tree stump to think about everything that just went down.

"Kudos to you all for an incredible night of entertainment, music, drama, barfing." We all hold our marshmallows and now Gwen is avoiding me so I stand next to Leshawna, staring down at the white fluff in my hands.

"There's only one marshmallow on this plate. Justin you reminded us all that looks matter a lot. And Heather you're full of surprises, but reading another chick's diary out loud to the whole world? Man, that is whack. No kidding, that's really messed up dude." Chris talks in a serious tone which was weird to see since he likes the drama that radiates off of us but even he can admit that what Heather did was extremely wrong.

"Oh, please, just give me my marshmallow already." Heather rolls her eyes. "Justin, I personally think this is very wrong, but tonight hotness just wasn't enough. The last Marshmallow goes to Heather." Chris says with disappointment laced in his voice.

"Time to catch the boat of losers, bruh." Justin sadly walks away. "Later, bruh." Heather waves to him, eating her marshmallow.

"If that evil little cow thinks she's getting away with this she has another thing coming." Gwen states.

"Befriending Heather was the worst move I have made all summer, and it's just begun." [Name] huffs.

The camera catches Gwen knocking on the door to reveal Harold. "You mentioned you brought a red ant farm with you, correct?"

"Yes." He nods.

Next clip is Heather running out of the cabin screaming with ants all over her.

"Sweet dreams everyone." Gwen giggles, closing her eyes to go to sleep.

Links To Other Writings

If anyone wants to be added let me know

Taglist

@pulling-out-my-eyes

[lazodiac]

It's time again to look at Thunder Junction's cards and try and divine where each and every one of these bad boys are from.

Also just a note in case people are curious; since Tumblr has a 30 image limit per post, I'll be doing all of The Big Score at the end, after all the colours and stuff. It's my prerogative and I'll do as I please. If you missed the first part, you can find it here! So without further ado, it is time for...

BLUE

While I don't think EVERY mount is from Thunder Junction Proper... newts ARE a creature that shows up in the west. I was initially thinking this could be for Eldraine, especially given it belongs to an archmage, but... ultimately, I think this is a native to the plane.

Another native, and dare I say this is a CHARISMATIC crab. I love the crystals on its back! I also love the blue cacti nearby it? Those are real by the way!

There aren't many turtle-men in Magic. Three, in fact, before this one; the Lagoon Sage, a Quandrix student, and a Kappa from Kamigawa. The Kappa has a VERY distinct look, the Quandrix is a sea turtle, and the Lagoon Sage is a snapper just like the Thunder-Thief over here... and I'm gonna make a called shot and say this is from Bloomburrow as a result!

Homarid are a Dominaria specialty, so this racist bastard is absolutely from there.

Djinn of this type are only found on Tarkir, so this one is easy. He's taken a break from his dragon-infested plane to relax under a waterfall martial artist style, and that's just kinda fun.

This is a tricky one, since the ability is pretty plane agnostic, and the design doesn't evoke much in it... but her collar DOES have the typical three-fang Dimir tell, and it'd fit both colour and what she's doing, so lets go with Ravnica.

Sadly a cursory Wiki glance tells me only that this guy is from America.

... okay okay, taking this seriously; the wings and the scroll and the steps, the name, all the flavour suggests this is from Amonkhet for me. It could be from elsewhere, but this feels the most "correct" for lack of a better term. I wish cards like this would get flavor text reprints down the line though...

These are some home-grown ghosts, and we know from various other stories (Gideon, Elspeth, etc) that when you die you go to the afterlife of the plane you're on... so these are some newly "born" natives.

These unfortunate individuals are from the dead plane of Oregon.

... what? I already used that joke? Okay fine. There really isn't any actual signifiers here, and the only humanoid in the art is too indistinct to tell. Given the content of the card is trying and failing to ford one of Thunder Junction's mighty rivers, I'm calling this card "native to the plane" for lack of anything else appropriate.

Oh hey it's everyone's favorite running gag from Ravnica. Fblthp is an easy one, so instead of elaborating more on our mono-eyed friend instead I'll bring up a question I want any of you reading this to answer.

Didn't they say during the initial preview teasers that there was an important plot event happening in the background of this card? That never bore fruit and I can't remember the exact preview stream I heard it, but I swear I did. I want someone to confirm this for me. I'm abusing my power.

Regrettably, the flavor text makes this spell be sourced from Oko's Home Plane. I do love this weird tumbleweed creature though!

God I hate Oko he's such a scum bag (derogatory).

A personal favorite character of mine, Geralf is an Innistradi born and raised, here to investigate the Thunder of the plane- as well as test how mana bonds work for planebound folk now that they have access to planar travel. Good luck, sir.

An obvious native of the plane. I quite like the flavor of this card as well by the way, it's just a clever way to incorporate the geysers you would occasionally see in the old west.

Another Thunder Junction native! It's wild how many of these there actually are, but wild animals do make up a bulk of cards in Magic so it's not THAT unreasonable.

Fun lore tidbit; allegedly the Thunder only started after the Omenpaths opened up. No one has lived here before that so no one can confirm that is true, and this flavor text suggests otherwise.

One of the only cards showcasing the least important members of Oko's gang of ruffians! Kaervek and Satoru busting out of jail thanks to the help of Annie Flash. The framing of the card makes it feel more like Kaervek's doing the real world (valid, Satoru is a loser this entire story) so I'm gonna call it for Zhalfir here- and yes even though technically everyone from Zhalfir is from Dominaria, it's a plane all its own now. I make the rules here!

The Fomorian made star-key to open up their vault on Thunder Junction, I feel like it is safe to say this was made here. It's got little arcs of Thunder and even looks like a deputy star, so it fits the vibe.

Fun fact; being a six pointed star, plus the fact that in the story they mentioned the sixth slot started glowing purple, I briefly had the idea that they might be implying the Fomorian's know of Purple magic and we'll get it in the big Space set we're getting down the line. Then I remembered Cosmium is purple and a major energy source for the Fomorion people, so nevermind.

I can't confidently say this is from Bloomburrow, given we don't know how big the people of that plane can get- so far they've maxed out at Badger and Fox- but I really don't know where this guy could be from otherwise! Maybe Ravnica? So lets call this Bloomburrow until corrected otherwise.

Incidentally this is one of my favorite pieces of art in the set. Love this fucking guy.

Beyond all the art signifiers, I believe it was straight up said on twitter this is a Therosian Sphinx, so she's from Theros. Good for her. Why is she wearing spurs...?

I'm fairly confident this is meant to depict Stella Lee, and she's from the Atiin people, so that's where this is from! Rundo meanwhile sounds like a Ravnica, but that's just some trivia.

This one I'm not fully sure on. The little bird like flecks of white in his magic, the watery energy... I feel like I've seen it somewhere before, but I can't quite place it. The red and blue suggests Izzet but then he's a Slickshot, the red-blue faction on Thunder Junction. I'm gonna go with my gut and say Ravnica, though.

Shit like this is why I wish we'd gotten a planeswalker guide...

Blue, so far, has some of the most easy and obvious ones to place, and for this I'm thankfully. This guy is a Stitcher, so he's from Innistrad. Easy as.

She's got some of the Sterling Company aesthetic going on, but I'm a stickler for stupid jokes so I'm gonna say she's from Zendikar. The armor could evoke Sea Gate, and they've always been good with ropes so why NOT translate that to combat?

Like with the earlier ghosts, dead-then-revived means you're native to Thunder Junction... but also this guy is clearly an Obscura from New Capenna, using some of his old magic, so I'mma call it for the big city here.

Oko's big bad gang preparing for the heist of the life-time. Since it's Oko's big idea it's from Oko's stupid plan.

The sort of misty blasts of fire and ice we're seeing here is aesthetically similar to the "gunfire" magic of New Capenna. I love this guy by the way.

Hey wait a second Ashiok can't do stuff like this. They can only read nightmares, not minds!

YEah for those of you who don't know, the Ashiok in this set is actually Jace in disguise! So this is from home-grown celtic Vryn mind-shredding. Our hero(?) ladies and gentlehommes.

An actual Sterling Company goon, though at least this one has a funny joke to his card. I still really like the work they did in making sure every weapon used in the set has the needed arcing loop for Thunder to channel through it.

Oh right the reason why we're here. I'm gonna say New Capenna again, because there's basically no defining traits here. Also god I just realized he's missing the front brim of his hat and it looks terrible. Graywater pay your men properly they can't even afford complete hats!

It took me a bit to realize what was happening in this card. The lady in the back is only choosing the final Spree option here, swapping around the Outcaster and the Hellspur's clothing. Rude!

Clothing swap spells seems like a funny prank to pull at magical college, so Arcavios is where this is going.

I think in cases where I just cannot make any reasonable assumptions based on art, I should look at mechanics. Flashback is usually in Innistrad... but this lady's neckline is WAY too exposed for that Even accounting for the new plane... honestly I give up, the only real identifying factor here is her little lockpick device, which... kinda looks Kamigawan? Lets go with that.

The vibe, the way she wears her hat, and the little phone cord(?) on her belt makes me think of New Capenna. Look some of these are really difficult and I gotta go by vibes!

And that's the 30 card limit, give me a half second for part two!

[imfinereallyy]

The Long Con, pt. 2

Access pt. 1 here. I've also decided to start posting this on ao3 as well, which you can find here.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Steve had met Robin during one of the lowest parts of his life. After leaving Boston and everything he knew behind, Steve hopped from place to place for a few weeks. Working odd jobs just to get from one place to the next. Eventually, he landed himself in Vegas. It had felt far enough from home where he would avoid being found, but also less obvious than a place like LA.

Steve had a lot of vices in his past life, sex, money, and women, but gambling wasn't one of them. So if someone was following the trail of his bad habits, Vegas wouldn't even cross their mind.

Steve began working at a bar on the strip when he arrived. It was a fancy place, wasn't part of a casino, and stood out independently. The Bearpoppy Lounge. It was the type of place where everyone wore suits and Gucci belts. Wealth was not only flaunted but required. It reminded Steve of the places his parents used to take him to impress business partners.

Robin had been his trainer for the bar, and well, she had absolutely hated him at first. Steve hadn't been able to figure out why. He was incredibly charming, and women usually fell at his feet. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but people usually drew to him. It had been a shock to the system when the first thing Robin had said to him was,

"I give you two days before you quit."

"What?" Steve asked in shock. Surely, she couldn't have been serious. "Do I not even get your name? Or, I don't know, a hello?" Steve thought he should reel in the snark. It wouldn't help his situation to let out his bitchy side. He just wasn't used to it. The lack of immediate trust he got from strangers. Most people would find that mentality naive, but Steve was raised to be enticing.

"My name is Robin, like it says on my name tag if you had bothered to read it. And I don't usually bother with introductions. I know the pretty boy type; trust me, it doesn't last." Robin wiped down glasses at the bar and didn't look up as she spoke.

Steve was resisting the urge to blow up on her. He couldn't prove her right. He had to lay on the charm thick.

Steve took in Robin's appearance before answering. She was pretty. Short dirty blonde hair cut to her chin with pink at the ends. Light freckles decorated Robin's face, which defined her already high cheekbones. She was tall, almost as tall as him, but she held herself awkwardly, like she didn't know what to do with her limbs. Robin would be easy to charm. Beautiful, so he wouldn't have to lie, and insecure so he could work her. "Well, if pretty girls like you can make it this far, I don't see why I can't." Steve leaned his body against the counter and appraised Robin up and down.

Robin snorted, "Oh god, you can't be serious. Please don't tell me the next thing you're gonna say is how you 'got lost in my beautiful blue orbs' like we were in some cheesy fanfiction."

Steve's mask fumbled a bit. "Orbs? What? Eyes can't be orbs. Then you'd have to see all the way around? Right? Wait—" Steve spiraled for a minute. Robin threw him off his rhythm.

Robin's face cracked slightly at Steve's confusion before she sighed deeply. "Look, I'm going to be, uh, straight, with you." Robin paused as she had a sort of inside joke with herself. "I don't like you."

Ouch. "Ouch."

Robin pushed on, "Look, it's not about you personally. It's about, ya know, what you represent. Like you came in here with no experience, no background, and just charmed your way into this job. Now I have to spend two weeks training you, only for you to stay a month tops. Guys, girls, and everything between, like you only come to work here for two things. Fortune and fame. They come to find a rich spouse or try to catch the eye of someone with a business card and a one-way ticket to Hollywood. And listen, it works. Most of you guys get what you want. Any other bar on the strip, I would tell you to quit while you're ahead. Big names come in here, though. And most of you get what you want. And if you don't? Well, you usually break and go back home to Mommy and Daddy. You all leave me high and dry and training another person. The worst offenders of all are the pretty boys. They come in here, lay on the charm, making assumptions about me, try to sleep with me, and when I don't give them what they want, they turn on me. So, sorry if I don't think we will get along."

Steve felt something inside him snap, "You know, for someone who hates people making assumptions about others, you really are assuming a lot about me." Robin looked taken aback by the bitchy attitude. Steve pressed on, "And I don't want that, Robin: fortune and fame. I mean, a little fortune would be nice, but who doesn't want that? And did you think that there was a reason I had to charm my way into this job? You said it yourself I have no experience! How will I ever gain that if I don't have the job to try it in the first place? And for your information Robin, there is no way I am running back to Mommy and Daddy. I think I'd rather take my chances with the streets, thank you very much."

Robin opened her mouth to speak, but Steve cut her off.

"Also, if you aren't into me, that's fine. I wouldn't make you uncomfortable for it. I'm not everyone's type; I can deal with that." Steve crossed his arms, emphasizing his point to her.

Robin swallowed, a bit of shame crept onto her face. "Sorry."

Steve sighed, "It's fine."

"No, it's not. I didn't give you the chance to fuck up first. I should at least give you that. And I get it, you know. Not going back to the parents."

The tension left Steve, "Yeah?"

"Yea, it's actually for the reason you're not my type. "

"Huh?"

Robin giggled but then looked hesitant. "I'm pretty sure the only kind of person you aren't the type for shares something in common with me. I'm a lesbian, dude. "

Steve took in the way Robin shrunk on herself even more and decided to share one tiny secret with her; even though he shouldn't be in the business of giving away his secrets. "It's okay. I'm safe. I'm not going to tell anyone. We share the same secret."

It was Robin's turn to say, "Yeah?"

Steve smiled at her, "Oh yeah. I, too, love the ladies, Robin."

Robin giggle-screeched. "Dingus!"

Steve warmed at the pet name. "But I also like the dudes. And everything in between."

Robin's smile softened, "Thanks for telling me."

Steve waved his hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah. Are you actually going to do your job and train me?"

"And just when I was starting to like you. Welcome to hell then; I'll be your guide." Despite her words, Robin's tone held an ease that wasn't there earlier.

Steve knew she'd be tough to crack, but he knew it would be worth it.

--------------

It was weird; it was Robin who gave him the idea. When they first met, he thought she would have been the judgemental type. Well, he wasn't far off from that, but she was surprisingly morally loose when it came to illegal activity.

"You know that man would have done anything to get in your pants, right?" Robin nodded toward the guy who just left the bar to go sit back with his buddies. He was in his late forties, and pretty fit for his age. He had introduced himself as Clark; which either the dude had the world's most bland name, or he was using Clark Clent as a pseudonym to cover the fact he was flirting with a man when Mr. Clark was clearly married (at least the shiny gold band said so). Steve hadn't been interested, though. For one, he wasn't looking to get attached to anyone (although Robin was starting to make that look difficult). Secondly, Steve had learned the hard way that being a queer person, no matter the day in age, wasn't always safe.

Especially with married men.

"And so what, Buckley? I don't think I have anything to gain from a married man looking to bang some random bartender, who, by the way, he doesn't even know likes other men?" Steve throws his towel over his shoulder and turns towards Robin.

"But you are into men." Robin deadpans.

"Okay, true, but not the point. Hey, wait, how does he even know I like men?"

Robin shrugs, "Same way that I did, like seeks like my hairy friend. However, I suppose we aren't exactly the same. Since I am only interested in the ladies. Oh wait—does that make us more alike since we both like women, and you liking men makes us less alike? But that's gay, so that makes us—"

"Robin, you didn't even know. I had to tell you. After you yelled at me."

"Sorry!" She cringed.

Steve sighed, "Besides, still nothing to gain from sleeping with him. Besides, the dude's name is Clark."

Robin snorted, "That's rich coming from you, James."

Steve was not lost on the irony that he and Clark were both using fake names.

"I'm not exactly sure you're getting to an actual point Robs."

Robin put her hands in front of her as if she was surrendering. "Okay, hear me out. The dude clearly has money and really wants to sleep with you. Heck, a lot of people come in who want to sleep with you. Men, women, everything in between, and everything outside of it. These people want you, Steve, which I don't understand, but they do. These very rich people want to sleep with you. And you, a very poor bartender who frankly is terrible at his job, could use that to his advantage."

Steve just stared at her.

"You do get what I am saying, right?"

"Yes Robin, I get what you're saying. You want me to prostitute myself to our customers."

"I believe the proper term is sex workers; you can be offended by not offensive."

"Robin." Steve whisper yelled.

"Oh, c'mon! It isn't the worst idea. You like money, and you like sex. I'm not really seeing a downside. I mean, it's your body, so you get to do what you want with it. But I wouldn't judge you if it was this. I mean you don't have to sleep with them even! Swindle them for their money; I know you're a charmer. You might not even have to go as far as sex. I mean, unless you want to. Again, your body, my dude."

"Why do you even want me to do this? Shouldn't you want me to stay on a legal path? Be the voice of reason? Isn't that what this whole nerdy good girl thing you got going for?" Steve returned to the bar while he spoke and started preparing a drink. Although he was protesting and acting offended by the idea, it wasn't actually a terrible proposition. Steve had done worse for less, and he had a lot of respect for those in the industry. It was just, he didn't get why Robin was pushing it. It was Steve's instinct to be mistrustful. People didn't offer things to him, especially very illegal ones, unless they wanted to gain something or get something against him.

"No, I don't want to be your pimp. Can't a girl offer some life advice to her helpless coworker? Besides, I'd be a hypocrite if I told you not to earn money illegally. Considering my side-gigs." Robin walked around the bar to stand directly in front of Steve. She placed her elbows on the wood and her head in her hands. She looked sincere, and that's when it hit Steve.

"First off, we are coming back to the side-gig thing—"

"We most definitely are not." Robin quipped.

"Second, I think I get it now. You're worried about me. We're friends, and you're worried about me."

"Take it back."

"No, no. You, Robin Buckley, care about me."

Robin shuttered, "We are not friends, James. And I am not worried. I simply became too invested in your pathetic life; my apologies." She started to lean back from the bar but Steve put the drink down and caught her by her elbows.

"If you admit we're friends, and that you're worried about me, I'll think about your idea." Steve gave her elbows a light squeeze.

Robin caved instantaneously, "Fine, you dingus! We're friends. I care about you! Despite my best efforts, your stupid face and jokes are incredibly endearing, and you always cheer me up on bad days. And every day here is a bad day. And I'm worried about you because you look like you're going to run every five seconds, and every time it's a shitty tip night, you deep sigh. And dammit, you're the only person I like here, and if you go at this point, so do I."

Steve felt himself blink back tears. Robin, in all her rambling glory, had managed to give him one of the best speeches he's ever heard. Steve hadn't had anyone care about him like this in, well, ever. It was a welcomed devastation.

Steve tugged her into a bone-crushing hug. Their stomachs pressed against the bar, the wood digging into their hips. "I'm gonna do it."

"Yea? You really don't have to. We can figure something else out. I would teach you how to hack, but I don't think you'd be very good at it." Robin let out a wet laugh.

Steve let her go and shrugged. "Nah, it's a good idea. And honestly sounds like a bit of fun. Swindling the wealthy into giving to the poor. Well, giving to me. But I count as poor currently."

Robin smiled, "Only if you're sure, dingus."

"I am. Now—" Steve pushed the drink with a bar business card that he wrote his name and number on underneath. "—go take this to money bags over there."

Robin grabs the card and throws it at him. "You can't give your real name and number, dummy. For now, I'm gonna give him my side gig number until you can get your own. All we need is a name." She grabbed a new card and wrote down the digits.

Steve took the pen from her and looked around the bar for inspiration. He jotted down the first thing that came to mind. "Here ya go."

Robin looked down and choked on a laugh. "You can't be serious."

"Deadly."

Robin rolled her eyes one last time before picking up the drink. "We will think of a better one later. But I guess for now; I'll deliver this to your first client, Cherry."

Steve knew then, and there he and Robin were for life.

________

Boston, Massachusetts

It was at this moment Steve was trying to picture how Robin would react to how majorly he fucked up. Considering she had already warned him about the dangers of Tommy Hagan's friendship, Steve didn't have to think too hard. Robin had always been good at that, calling him on his bullshit before it even happened. Steve could hear her voice in his head saying,

This is what happens when you play with fire Dingus.

Steve wondered if he'd ever get to hear her voice in person again.

"What kind of deal?" Steve asked before throwing himself to the wolves. Though he was sure his life was on the line, he couldn't just say yes to whatever Eddie asked. He didn't want to die, but he also had to consider that there were people he cared about in this world. Steve wouldn't put them at risk, even if it meant his own well-being.

In retrospect, he should have reevaluated the list of people he cared about, considering one was the reason he was here in the first place.

Eddie leaned back against the booth, stretched his arms across the back of it, and let out a dark chuckle. "Well, for starters, I'm going to need that bag back. That's the easy part. Considering it's mine anyway. Although, it does seem a bit light there. Why is that sweetness?"

Steve could feel himself go pale. God, Tommy had fucked fucked him. He was starting to consider that it was even a setup. He didn't peg Hagan for being that smart, though. "It's only half. Tommy took the other half with him when I met up with him. I'm so supposed to keep the other half safe for a few weeks, then bring it to him."

Eddie raised his eyebrows, "Pretty forthcoming, aren't we? Thought I'd have to push a bit more to break ya. Now I'm not sure if I even want to offer you the rest of the deal. Don't particularly like working with snitches."

Steve tried not to let out a frustrated growl. Charm, he had to charm Eddie. He was making it hard for Steve. "I'm not a snitch; I just don't see the point in covering for someone who obviously fucked me."

Eddie put his hands up in mock surrender, "Woah there, sweetness. Didn't mean to touch a nerve. I'm only having a bit of fun. You'll let me have my fun, won't you? Considering you made me stop my hard work in the middle of the day to deal with you?" Although Eddie smiled as he spoke, Steve could tell he wasn't happy. Steve decided to be smart and stay silent. "Now tell me, where and when did you meet him? And when and where were you meeting up again?"

Steve gritted his teeth, "What's the rest of the deal?"

"What's that?" Eddie ticked his head to the side.

"I'm not going to tell you anything else if I don't know what I'm getting out of it or what I need to do to get to the finish line. So, What's the rest of the deal?"

"You're a clever one, aren't you? I'm not surprised, actually, considering the sort of bravery it takes to steal from me." Steve noted in his head that Eddie said bravery and not stupidity. He tucked it away for later. "Fine, considering you've been forthcoming so far, I'll be kind and lay all the cards on the table. On one condition."

Steve gave up on being charming. He knew it was getting him nowhere. "Deal for a deal? Seems a bit convoluted, don't ya think?"

"Ooo, bitchy and knows big words? Full of surprises. I promise you this one is an easy one. Should you choose the right path, no harm will come your way Padalin. Well, none that you don't ask for, at least." A wicked grin spread across Eddie's face.

"Get to the point."

"You know I'd have a man's head at this point for that kind of talk. Fortunately bitchy looks good on you. Anyway, the condition is this. Tell me your name, sweetness. I think it's rude that I gave you my name and I don't have yours."

"Well I didn't ask for yours and like you said earlier, I don't think introductions were necessary."

Eddie gave Steve an unamused eyebrow; his patience was wearing thin.

Steve was buying time, he wasn't sure what name to give him. He wasn't stupid; he couldn't exactly give him his real name. He couldn't just tell him, Steve. For one, he was in Boston. A slip of the first name means a slip of the last. And besides coming back to Boston in the first place, that would be the absolute dumbest thing he'd ever do if he were to let that slip. Steve was well aware the Harrington name hadn't grown kinder over the years.

The other reason was if he were to give him his real name, Eddie would suddenly have access to his entire life in an instant. His story, his crimes, his weaknesses. Steve was sure that Eddie had his very own Robin, although he doubted they were any good since Steve had the best, but even a raccoon with access to Google could find him.

So Steve had to think. What name could he give him? He thought about the hundreds of alias he had over the years. Some of them are more thought out than others. Like Mark Odom, who was a sales rep just down on his luck at the horse tracks and just needed a bit of insider information for a win. He had a family to feed, after all.

Or there was the ones with less background, like Cherry, who didn't even have a last name. He was just a good disguise for Steve when he wanted to swindle money out of higher-profile men.

Those aliases, no matter the depths of their stories, were too used, too frequented, too recent. They had a history that could be traced. Steve thought of possibly starting a whole new alias for Eddie. But those took time. A quick lie in the moment was easy, but Steve had a deep feeling nothing about his interactions with Eddie would be quick.

Eddie looked at him expectantly, waiting. It had only been a few seconds since Steve had last spoke, but between the two of them, it felt like hours. It felt as though Steve was losing the game and fast.

An idea sprung on Steve suddenly. An old name he used once. It was a name thrust upon him more like, but he had only used it once. He was sure Eddie would catch onto it being fake, but Steve hoped that the man's affinity for nicknames let it slide.

"Angel. The name is Angel."

"Angel." Eddie deadpanned. "Angel, what? No last name?"

"No last name." Steve shook his head.

Eddie rubbed a hand down his face, "That's what you're going with? You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's all you're gonna get."

Eddie stared at Steve momentarily before a playful smile edged at his lips. "Alright, I'll bite. Angel, it is, for now. Just don't expect the truth to stay hidden for long. You see, I always get my way in the end. Okay, Angel?" Eddie's eyes penetrated Steve's, and silence again hung in the air.

"Okay." Steve believed Eddie. He secretly hoped he wouldn't be around the man long enough to see how quickly he got his way.

"Good. Now here's the deal Angel." Eddie emphasized Steve's name in mockery. "You give me the half you have under the table. That's been established so far. Then you are going to help me get the rest of the money back and get me a little chat with your good pal Hagan."

Steve opened his mouth to protest the idea of him and Tommy being good pals, but shut it before he could make the situation for himself worse. Probably better for himself to not push his luck.

"That's the easy part," Eddie continued. He leaned forward, taking his arms off the back of the shredded booth, and used his hand to grip Steve's chin. The grip was firm but not painful as he pulled Steve forward. It was as if he was trying to prove a point, trying to prove that Eddie was the one in control, prove that he didn't want to hurt Steve, just put him in his place. "The hard part of the deal is this. You see, it's not easy to steal from me. And yet, here you are. You've made it much further than others have. And that is a skill not many possess. And right now, I could use that."

Steve visibly swallowed. He was trying not to let this man get to him. It felt impossible with Eddie's hand on him and their proximity. It had been so long since Steve had been this close to someone, so intimately, without the illusion of the game. Sure, there was an imminent threat over Steve's head, but he couldn't shut off the part of his brain that kind of liked it. Steve had to push away the desire to breathe in all that was Eddie. Steve decided to blame these uncontrollable thoughts on the fact he hadn't gotten laid since Seattle over a month ago.

Not because he felt attracted to the man who was actively threatening him. That would be insane.

"How do you suppose I do that?" Steve licked his lips and didn't break eye contact with Eddie.

"I have a list. A list of people who have wronged me. Who has stolen from me, in one form or another? Usually, I'd have them taken care of, but I don't think they deserve such an easy out. I think I need to make a statement. I think they should be given exactly what they've taken. They bit the hand that fed them after all." Eddie squeezed Steve's chin lightly. It once again caused no pain, but it grounded Steve. Sent a silent reminder of who was in control.

"Big believer in karma, then? Wouldn't have taken you for the type." Steve pushed out a weak laugh. Eddie stared at him a moment before releasing him, sitting back into his original position.

Eddie's lip tilted slightly, "Maybe I am. Do we have a deal?"

Steve snorted, "That's it? You're not going to tell me more? No reason why, no, what do I need to do? Kind of feels like I'm getting the shit end of the stick here."

In the corner of his eye, Steve saw one of Eddie's men move when he raised his voice. It made Steve stop abruptly, shrinking back into his seat. Eddie waved his henchman to stand down. "No, you don't get more. And beggers can't be choosers, can they?"

" 'Suppose not."

"Good boy. Now, do we have a deal?" Eddie stuck his hand out for Steve to shake.

Steve had to suppress his reaction once again. Eddie had to be testing him at this point. Good boy would be seared into his brain forever. A brand of how dangerous this man was to him.!Steve looked down at the rough, veiny hands. "On one condition."

Eddie barked out a laugh, "You know you really like pushing your luck, Angel. It's like you have a deathwish. You aren't exactly in the position to make demands, hasn't that been clear? You're lucky you are so goddamn interesting. So, once again, I'll bite."

"I get to veto someone, no questions asked, if I don't want to do it." Steve thought about how many enemies he had here in Boston. How many people he had no desire to run into? He needed to make sure most, if not all of them, never crossed paths with him again. Steve knew it was a long shot to ask of this. It defeated the whole purpose of helping Eddie if he was allowed to say no. They both knew this. And yet, Steve held out hope.

Eddie hummed to himself for a moment before answering. "You get one."

Steve whipped his head towards Eddie in shock. "What?"

"I'll give you one veto. No questions asked. But that's it. Once you use it, it's gone."

Steve knew when to not look a gift horse in the mouth. "Okay, deal." Steve stuck his hand out for Eddie to grab. Steve tried not to shutter when Eddie's warm hand engulfed his own. The smoothness of his rings and the callouses on his palms contradicted each other and send a delicious thrill down Steve's spine.

Yeah, Steve was fucked.

"Deal, Angel." Eddie slid out of the booth, and his men made to follow him. "Now, if I am correct, you're currently staying at the rundown motel on 3rd? Well, Ben here—" Eddie gestured to the eager henchman from earlier "—will follow you to the motel to collect your things. Then he's going to take you to the room I paid for you at the Palace Hotel. Where he, and a rotation of other people, will be standing guard outside your door 24/7."

"What? Don't trust me?" Steve tried to lighten the apparent tension.

"Oh, not in the slightest, Angel. Trust you just about as much as I can throw you." Eddie slid dark sunglasses on before walking up to the door. "Looking forward to chatting again. I think this will be a good thing for us both, sweetheart."

Eddie walked out without looking back, taking most of his men with him. Ben stayed behind, glaring daggers at Steve's head.

Steve couldn't help but feel a shift in the tide; he would be returning to this moment for the rest of his life. He knew there was no coming back from this, and even if there was, Robin would kill him anyway.

Steve looked down at his milkshake, it was fucking melted.

***

has it been a month since I posted the first part? Yes. Yes it has. Please don't murder me. It has been hectic, I got a new job which means I work two now and I got sick. I finally had some time to start working on this. I also wanted to actually plan this out, make an outline, since yes you guessed it…

it’s going to be a long fic.

As you can tell these parts are really long, so I’m thinking about just posting on ao3, and maybe putting previews on here. Unless you guys want it also fully here. Let me know! :)

I’m so excited for this thank you all for your patience. You can access part one here and ao3 here.

also if I tagged you and you didn’t want to be tagged let me know! some reblogs seemed interested in a part 2 but didn’t mention it specifically but I tried to tag you if I could!

tag list:

@zaphodkilledthespeedforce @a-new-kind-of-blue @hexdbog @krayzee11 @heaven428 @ppunkpuppyy @stxcrossed186 @grtwdsmwhr @pheonixashtree @plasticcrotches @sillysparrow @enterprizing @vi-an-te @minimal23 @romances-sans-paroles @whalesharksart @gregre369 @lollydo@imagayfuck @stevesworldxx @renaissan-vvitch @aroseandherthorns @impeachy @aellafreya  @smailaway @cmackz93 @lawrence-b-shaggoth @cata-t0n1c @kylizzles @exo-l4life @shucks-yuckyuck @swaghettoni @goosesister @chaotiovingdreamer @inmoonywetrust @tis-the-smallest-fry @croatoan-like-its-hot @escapingthereality @absurdityaddiction @kit-means-death @anzelsilverr @aziazure @alienthings @obsessivereaderchick @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus @toobusytobebored @samgelina-jolie

[oldsargasso]

4 minutes ep 5 thoughts

can't believe we're over halfway through :( but how nice to be able to watch on iqiyi

a warning for flashing lights would've been good

bless. she played that perfectly because that was an expression every woman can recognise instantly but [straight] men have no idea

okay I love title's shirt. confirmation it's tonkla who takes him out then

the grass, the trees, it all has a very dream-like, unreality/hyper-reality in a way kinda feeling. the establishing shot of the grass just feels like a movie in an intentional way

omg they're glamping!! I thought it was a tent at the end of last ep but I didn't think it'd look like that lmao

[we haven't seen tyme wear a necklace yet have we? yet in the first visions of them having sex he definitely has one on. just thinking about it now because his shirt is like making it very obvious.]

they are soooooooo. I gotta go lie down on the floor. tyme straight up serenading great, the man does have moves. (where'd he get a guitar from? it came with the campsite)

the most insane thing is that they're both still wearing shoes and socks around. (<- might be assigning australian values here)

musician AU CONFIRMED.

just taking a moment to appreciate jes' acting. my goodness. my HEART.

NAN BACKSTORY!! bee I love you as well. miscarriage? oh damn. this is depressingly real. I hope Nan gets to burn everything down

the framing of tyme and great in these shots is so interesting. tyme always on the left, often higher. don't even need to mention the black&white.

why is what's on the picnic table so blurry or are my eyes going weird

"what if the next death is you?" "I don't have anything to lose." okay. pain.

I love Korn losing it.

oooohhh sa-marn. this is the one single thing I've liked him doing. (and not just because it means we get to see great's mother again 😍 the one sleeve look is perfect)

"the son of yours" number one thing not to say to your wife unless it's a cute joke

god great's even got a red number plate to match his car lmaoooo. actually surprising to me that his car doesn't have a GPS tracker or something. korn's gonna be waiting for great isn't he.

if it started as ~seducing great to get to his parents it's so far past that now. the look tyme is giving great….. the hand on the back of the neck. leave me here to die actually.

oh god this horror movie shot. oh lmaooo. den my guy. oh I don't recognise that dude hmmm. title?

great just straight up walked in front of that car. dude. if there was ever a time to be aware of your surroundings… oh it was korn so who cares. wait he's got a red number plate too, that does NOT match your car.

can't park there.

the man with his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel is taking about how serious this business is

there's that older brother "I'll do it so you don't have to" idc I live for this kinda stuff

honestly I thought korn was gonna be waiting inside great's apartment so that was way less intense than I was expecting lol

CLOCK'S BACK!!

OH MY GOD. holy shit great's dad is. incredible. awful. lovely little note that he said stay away from great before he said stay away from the company. (the like, heartbeat in the OST? gorgeous) take the money and then do your thing anyway, like what are they gonna do? call the cops?

I wonder if that's his maternal or paternal grandmother. it doesn't matter I just like knowing stuff

dude nan has been through it, let her have her revenge!! it's not like she's getting the 5 million so. I understand her.

aww manee's out of hospital.

korn getting slapped…you love to see it

since she mentioned her dad being powerful I am now assuming she and title are siblings lol. korn doesn't deserve this woman she should marry me instead

I'm way more into the idea of ep 4 being great's first time with a dude because that makes tyme blocking him now all the more delicious 😌

I wanna just. applaud all of this. the sound. the cinematography. the look on her face.

oh shit great's gonna get shot now isn't he

(did his mum kill korn's mum)

first flashback/flashforward in a little while. this guy is bold and dedicated to his job - nobody heard the first gunshot?

half of great's face covered in blood spatter….perfect. the clock has started.

hmmmm. okay. this better not turn out to all just be in great's head because that is the worst of all theories lol.

thank god den can recognise people from split-second glances he's the most powerful character ever

this is what tyme's wearing when he gets shot in ep 1. the BLOOD ON HIS FACE cutting in and out with the light? hellllloooo. next episode is tyme right?

[hannieehaee]

HOT TO GO! (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: moving into a quiet apartment complex you expected to find nothing but solace, not your most entertaining situationship to date OR the three times you kept it casual with your new neighbor vs the one time he made things serious.

content: neighbor!jungkook, strangers2lovers, situationship (kind of), fwb, jk's a lil bit of a himbo in this fic, afab reader, smut, three smut scenes lol, penetrative sex, dry humping, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 461 (teaser); 7.1k (full fic)

RELEASE DATE: september 12th

or you can check it out on my patreon today by subscribing!

a/n: this is mostly word vomit but i enjoyed writing jk's character for this one<3

masterlist

"Oh, wow, uh, hey."

"Hi?", you looked at the stranger in curiosity, though still very shocked by the adonis of a man who had suddenly knocked on your door.

He cleared his throat and shook his head as if rebuffing himself to speak again, "Fuck, okay, that was such an uncool first impression. What I meant to say was 'Welcome to the neighborhood,' but you just caught me off guard. Sorry."

"I caught you off guard? You're the one who knocked on my door."

"Yeah, not gonna elaborate on that," he chuckled sheepishly, extending his hand, "Hi, I'm Jungkook, your neighbor," he introduced himself.

You chuckled in return, letting his ambiguity slide as you briefly shook his hand, providing him with your name, "Hi, Jungkook. I'm new here, if that wasn't obvious."

"No, yeah, you can really tell the difference between you and the old lady who used to live here. She was- wait, fuck. Did she-"

"No, Jungkook, she's not dead. The landlord told me she just moved into some retirement home," you clarified.

"Thank god," the boy sighed in relief, "Me and Mrs. Louis go way back. She used to bake me cookies on Sundays."

"Oh really? Well, you won't be getting any cookies from me. Sorry," you joked.

Cocking his head to the side, he lifted his eyebrows, "We'll see about that."

"What does that even mean?"

"I can be very convincing."

Was he flirting? Through a cookie euphemism?

"Are you-"

"Anyways, if you need any help with moving in, let me know. Maybe coming over to help build some furniture?", he suggested, "I like to be on a friendly standing with all my neighbors," he smiled as he disregarded his prior flirting, almost as if it had never happened.

"I'm your only neighbor. There's only two apartments per floor," you recalled, still amused by his oddity.

"Exactly," he winked, and with that, he turned to leave, heading back to his own apartment, "See you around."

It was through that very short interaction that you first met your neighbor, Jungkook. Despite how odd he had seemed, he carried a charm that intrigued you (though his pretty appearance also drew you in).

Closing your door, you went back to what you had been doing previously, a smile of disbelief on your face as you tried to come up with some believable reason to scout him for help – as he had offered – just to see him again.

Unfortunately, most of your stuff had not arrived yet, so you truly had nothing you could possibly use as an excuse to get him to come into your apartment so soon. It was nice, though, to know that your new neighbor was as friendly as he was (and as attractive, might you add).

...

you can check it out today on my patreon by subscribing!

reply if you'd like to be tagged!

[aliasrocket]

I wanted to say something for an anonymous comment about feeling less embarrassed of having feelings for Rocket. I must say I totally understand that.

A month ago, when GOTG VOL 3 was released, I went to see it at the cinema with my mother, I spent the whole movie very excited for Rocket, but right in that scene where he is on the verge of death and he meets Lylla again, SOMETHING INSIDE IT CHANGED ABOUT ME, because when they were hugging I realized I was JEALOUS, and in my mind I thought "OH NO, IT'S HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN", because I always fall for characters that might be unconventional or weird to other people , then I start looking for fics and I realize that there are not many for the same reason, or there are many where it is more platonic and I think "IT IS NOT ENOUGH" And it's more complicated for me because my first language is not English and in my language there is NOTHING. So meeting people who write Rocket the way I imagined really makes me very happy. I'm even thinking about writing some one shots myself but it's hard, I've never written NSFW and I find it kind of funny that I want to start with Rocket.

Oh my god this was absolutely sweet.

Yes!! Everyone IT IS OKAY TO LIKE UNCONVENTIONAL CHARACTERS. LITERALLY, IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL!! JUST BE YOU!!!

And I’m really sorry there isn’t much fics in your language, but on the bright side I’m really happy that you’re at least able to read and write in english even if it isn’t your first language!

Also, yeah, in my experience, besides sighing the whole goddamn movie (except for the first 10 mins, I will give myself that,) I remember leaving the theatre in a sigh and going on ao3 like “ah shit, here we go again” bc this is the 1982838th time I’ve visited ao3 for some really obscure ship or an x reader fic for a very underrated character.

And about that Rocket smut, I understand how can it be daunting and I’d really love to help you!

Ykw, let me make a quick guide for anyone who’s scared of writing Rocket smut!! But for those of you who wouldn’t wanna read some real ugly/stupid stuff, don’t press the ‘keep reading’ line, haha.

a quick (and definitely unhinged) guide to writing Rocket smut XD

OBVIOUS NSFW WARNING!!! It gets ugly guys please THIS IS YOUR WARNING I’M NOT JOKING!!

If you’re uncomfortable with heavy nsfw please turn away now!!

written by aliasrocket (89P13 on ao3 hehe)

Suitable for any smut involving Rocket! (Looking at you guys, roquill shippers. Don’t worry, I welcome all ships on my blog <3)

This is supposed to be a writing smut guide specifically meant for Rocket so I’m not gonna go into the basics of writing smut, but if you’re a total beginner, here’s some pointers to help :

the genitals, legs, muscles, brain : main places that tend to be the most stimulated, exhausted or absolutely wiped. That being said, you can use these as a starting point for describing the feelings the characters or the reader may feel in the moment.

besides the main thing, you could try to set the mood by maybe mentioning how the moans sounded like, (screams, squeals, cries etc.) and other things the characters were doing to ground them in the moment, like gripping the sheets, gripping the other person’s shoulder or hips, etc.

Okay, so, about Rocket in particular …

Yeah, of course writing smut about a fucking Raccoon isn’t going to be fucking easy. But don’t worry, as someone who has studied all 3 gotg films and slowed down quite possibly every single Rocket clip in existence (enough to know Rocket … is genuinely CANONICALLY is very particular/skilled with his fingers, he knows where he’s putting them and knows EXACTLY which buttons to press on any tech, so … definitely good at using his fingers if you catch my drift) I think I might have gotten the hang of it to help some of you guys out.

So first off, when I write Rocket smut I always imagine he’s his comic height instead of his mcu height (don’t search it up, you’re just gonna be depressed about it trust me) so all you have to know is that if he pressed you up against a wall his head would be around your shoulder blade area. For missionary, he’s probably around your collarbone.

Rocket canonically has sharp and absolutely grown out nails. No, they’re not retractible. I’ve done research on this, but if you’d like to write him fingering someone, Rocket can have his nails trimmed.

It would hurt if Rocket bit you. Like, it would fucking bleed. So I’m sorry to say to those biting kink girlies (those are me hi) but Rocket can only afford to give you or someone else some nibbles on the skin unless you guys want some serious bloodplay on your hands. This is because he has protruding fangs on both his upper and lower row of teeth, his lower ones more prominent than the top.

Rocket can, however, eat you out. Don’t wanna get too into depth with this but basically his tongue can stick out his muzzle pretty well and his nose makes for a good clit-stimulator HAHAHAH

!!! : (this is going to be a description of the average raccoon penis so skip this if you don’t wanna know about this because you can DEFINITELY write Rocket smut without having to know this so please be free) I had to research this for a very specific request (pls ily shameless anon/pos) and I almost cried out of the loss of my sanity but anyway, raccoons have a baculum bone which is basically a bone in their penis that helps with copulation, its average length is about 4 inches but can be longer if you catch my drift. The genital itself is a like a rod with a ‘spiky’ end (it’s not actually spiky but it looks that way) compared to human genitalia, kind of like a cat’s but much longer and it is a very dark shade of brown or just plain black. Feel free to use any of these for a possible description if ever you need it, though I never really talk about it in fics, especially the whole ‘spiky’ thing. That being said, Rocket should not have an issue with size, as the the average human male genitalia is about five inches, meaning he can hit anyone’s g-spot just fine.

I might add more points if I have any more but this is all I got right now. I really hope this somehow encouraged you to write that nsfw fic you wanted, and just know everyone’s got interests, it’s fine if not a lot of people irl are into Rocket that way, because that’s literally what the internet is for!

[emma-cantmakeuphermind]

Just A Project | II

Nathan Prescott x Reader

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Warnings: slightly ooc nathan, swearing obvi

Words: 1.1k

A/N: (edit) This edit added like 300 words so yippee!

I’m in my last class of the day, Chemistry. Trust me, I love Mrs. Grant and all, but she rambles way too much. She’s holding dismissal…  and has been for 10 minutes. ‘Don’t be late.’ Nathan’s words ring in my ears, Mrs.Grant’s ramblings long forgotten. Please let me out of here. And like God himself heard my plea, Mrs. Grant finally let up. “Okay kids, go do whatever you kids do these days. And stay safe!” The entire class let out a sigh of relief, and happily left her room. 

As I’m walking out I run into someone. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I apologize, as we bumped into each other pretty hard. The other person speaks with a bit of a chuckle, “Nah, It’s all good.” I immediately recognize the voice, and look up at them. “Warren! Hey.” I greet him properly. I’m actually pretty good friends with Warren, he’s a nice guy, plus he always helps with my Chem work. Not to mention that he has the biggest crush on our mutual friend, Max. Which I help him with in return for the Chem help.

“How are you, Y/N? You look kind of stressed.” He says in that caring tone, always genuine. “Sorry Warren, I’m just in a bit of a hurry.” He nods in understanding. “I gotta meet up with someone, for a photography project.” I continue, and Warren says, “Oh alright, I won’t keep you hostage then.” He jokes. “I just wanted to ask you real quick if you wanted to borrow my drive.” I look at him a little confused not understanding why I would want to borrow a flash drive. He must��ve noticed my confusion because he starts to explain. “It’s just got a bunch of movies on it, you know the classics. None of that new age crap with no plot.” My face lights up with clarity. I nod and say, “Actually, yeah that’ll be great.” Warren looks pleased and tells me he’ll drop it off at my dorm soon. We say bye and head our separate ways. I’m now 15 minutes late. God, Nathan’s gonna be pissed.

As I was making my way to the boys dorms, I was oh so lucky to stumble across Deputy Dildo, AKA Mr. Madsen. “Young lady, what on earth are you doing on the boy’s dorm campus?!” His usual shouts tick me off as I’m already late to meeting Nathan, and I really don’t wanna hear his bitching. I stop in my tracks and let hous a dramatic huff, “I have a project to do. For Mr. Jefferson.” I say innocently. “I don’t care if you have a project. You are not allowed to be here. Whoever your partner is can wait.” He said smugly, clearly not letting up. 

‘Whoever your partner is can wait.’ Madsen’s words looped through my thoughts. An idea came to me, I’ll smack that smirk right off his face. “Actually, I’m already late, and Nathan Prescott does not like to be kept waiting.” I made sure to put on a reall snooty tone just to play the part to its fullest potential. With my own sly smirk, I watch the color drain from his face. “I apologize. Go ahead.” He moves out of my way with his head down in embarrassment. Maybe Nathan does come with a few perks. I make my way into the building, starting my journey to find his room.

—————————————————————

As I’m walking down the 2nd floor hall of the boys dorms, I look at my watch. Great, I'm 30 minutes late and I still haven't found this boy’s dorm. I keep walking looking at all the white boards when I see one that particularly stands out. The white board reads, ‘The Prescotts Own You!!’. Yeah- okay, so not obvious at all. I hold my breath as I knock on the door a couple of times. Nothing. I sigh for a moment, thinking I was totally screwed. I raise my fist to knock again, but before I’m able to, the door swings open with a blank faced expression on Nathan’s face. 

I drop my hand, embarrassed, and albeit, a little scared. “You’re late. I told you to not be late.” He sounds pissed, but his face doesn’t show it. He lets me in nonchalantly, plopping down on his couch. Honestly out of pure embarrassment and fear I start rambling at him, “I’m really sorry, genuinely. First Mrs. Grant held dismissal, talking about god knows what! Probably some chemical discovery she heard on the radio,” I pause awkwardly to point to Nathan with a cocked eyebrow, “which pro tip, dont listen to the radio. Then I ran into someone, and had to have a somewhat awkward and rushed conversation, and then Deputy Dickhole gave me a hard time getting up here with his stupid mustache. I mean come on man get a life! Not to mention I was roaming the campus for way too fucking long trying to find your room.” I say in one big breath, letting out a sigh. 

Nathan just kind of looked at me with this blank expression but somehow I could tell exactly what he was thinking. I shriveled up in my position standing in front of him, properly embarrassed about how I just dumped all of that on him. Clearly he doesn’t give a fuck. A few beats of silence before Nathan raises his eyebrows with his mouth slightly parted like hes tryin gto find something to say. He just shakes his head and mumbles a “Yeah okay whatever.”

I just kind of stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Looking down at my feet shyly, a million thoughts racing in my mind. I fucked this up, he hates me and is gonna make this project a living hell for me. My thoughts get interrupted by Nathan’s voice. “Sit.” He said. “Right..” I say shyly, and I sit down beside him. I take a moment to take in his room, very dark, and monochrome. Pictures of obscure and abstract visuals hang on his walls. Some of which are his own work, others aren’t. He has some sort of fancy projector set up. An interest in film maybe? 

Anyway, I turn my attention back to Nathan, and to my surprise, he’s already looking at me. He doesn’t break eye contact, not immediately anyways. After a second he looks away. “So, we just gotta take a few pictures of each other.” He says coolly. “And two environmental shots.” I gently corrected. “Whatthefuckever.” He pressed. “Listen I already don’t wanna do this, so let’s just hurry up and get this over with.” He stands up grabbing one of his many cameras, messing with the settings. I have a feeling tonight's gonna be a long night. 

[epicfranb]

So. Mythical Sausage and Bdubs, huh. Mythdubs. You may have heard me talking about it, or maybe you haven't, since I'm so focused on ethubs (hope you will forgive me!! >.<) But truth is, i like them so much!!! And with the mcyt rarepair nominations opening up, i need to spread some MYTHDUBS PROPAGANDA!!! So here's a little messy "essay" i wrote about them. It's pretty much just recounting Canon, but maybe in the future i will write about how i personally see them in my own fanon. I want those guys to make it at least through round 1, so!!! If you are convinced by my rambling, you could maybe nominate them for me as well… 👉👈 Please, enjoy!!!

Bdubs is a Sun God, maybe just proclaimed that by Gem, but it doesn't matter since Sausage still worships him. Bdubs first thing calls him "mythy mythy sauce sauce" and continues to call him variations of Mythy and Saucy throughout their time together. and Sausage calls him "my sweet god". he (seemingly) throws away his faith in Pearl so easily to kiss Bdubs's bed and put on his sunglasses. Kissing the bed involves jumping up to Bdubs standing on two blocks, which lands Sausage's face right into Bdubs's Minecraft crotch and everybody in the room comments on that but Sausage just KEEPS KISSING HIM HE CAN'T STOP!!! Sausage showers him in like 18 green beds and gifts him a clock, which, as you may know, is a universal symbol of love to Bdubs.

Then Bdubs asks him to see Sanctuary and literally starts living there!! Sausage immediately showers him with gifts: wings, diamonds, netherite, Bdubs jokes "if i don't stop you, you're gonna give me the whole city!" and of course Sausage goes "would you like Sanctuary as well?? :D" They discuss recording kissing ASMR videos and creep Gem out with it.

He builds a giant sun overlooking all of Sanctuary in honor of Bdubs. But also Sausage puts Joel and Pearl above Bdubs in his god tier list, and then lies when Bdubs asks him about it and says it's just an order in which he met them. Bdubs knows Sausage is lying, IT'S OBVIOUS, but he can't be angry at him, he just wants to be higher on Sausage's tier list and he asks him what he would have to do to get there. Afterwards Bdubs sees the giant sun Sausage has built for him!! And he goes "oh... Oh... You built that for me? <...> That's so sweet. Can we see it up close?" HE SOUNDS SO TOUCHED!!! But Sausage, he is A LYING BASTARD so of course he twists the truth in such a way to gain a favor from Bdubs, he tells him that he felt guilty after saying that tier list and that's why he built that sun. CAN YOU SEE THE MIND GAMES BETWEEN THEM??? Bdubs knows Sausage is lying and tries to get his loyalty, not by shaming Sausage into it but by doing something for him that would convince Sausage — which shows Bdubs's selfless nature. But Sausage KNOWS Bdubs knows he's lying, but he doesn't stop, he lies again and he twists the truth and he wants to love everyone and be loved by everyone, even if it just means more lying and more people-pleasing. They make me insane sir. Two sides of the same coin.

So, in his typical Bdubs fashion, he tries to impress Sausage by standing on magma (which is part of the giant sun build), saying that it heals him (whilst it actively hurts him) because he's the Sun God!! And also of course to make him laugh, cuz that's Bdubs's love language, right?? :D So Sausage calls the sun The Eye of Bdubs, Bdubs says he's gonna use it to watch over Sanctuary, and over Sausage, to make sure he remains loyal; and Sausage says yes, watch over me!! I need your guidance! When Bdubs shrinks, Sausage calls him the cutest god, and Bdubs asks "are you still gonna worship me, even though I'm that small?"

After this in his own episode, Bdubs complains about Sausage's tier list and claims he's going to MAKE himself number one. He builds a beautiful Sun temple in Sanctuary, and you can already see how both of these builders use BUILDING to win over each other's hearts!! BUT AT THE SAME TIME they have a little back-and-forth going, where Sausage brags about ALWAYS doing interiors, clearly mocking Bdubs, so Bdubs leaves the interior of his temple for Sausage to figure out, and "it's a difficult puzzle, with weird rooms all over the place!" And whaddya know?? Sausage delivers. It's so mossy and colorful and overgrown, it's beautiful!!

And later on, Sausage assembles this magical staff from bits and pieces that his friends have given him, including a mushroom from Bdubs. And how he starts one of his episodes standing near the sun temple, talking about how much he misses his "god daddy" Bdubs and his beautiful giant eyes, how sad he is that Bdubs is now on Hermitcraft and he can't talk to him or see him???

And then he gets sent a piece of Bdubs's mossy cloak through dimensions, and he gets a new outfit with it that he wears for like the last 10 episodes or so of his series?? And on his very last episode, he manages to see Bdubs one last time... As a hologram, but still!! And Bdubs praises him for all the heroic deeds that he's done, and tells him to always embrace the light...

Sausage's connection with nature and Bdubs's ties with plants, moss and vines? Bdubs having a rich history with jungles and Sausage's empire being in a jungle? Sausage's empire connects with sunflowers because of Pearl, but it is a fun coincidence, because i have been also connecting Bdubs with sunflowers in my mind pretty strongly!! And both of their personalities, so expressive and warm and sunny!! They're so similar aren't they? Silly, fun-loving, kind and generous, but also a little bit chaotic and wild, amazing builders who are insanely loyal to their person of choice, who can't not compliment their friends All Of The Time, who are just so full of love for everything, always willing to help, but also not hiding their thirst for blood and liking for a little bit of chaos. They fit so well together!!! They're just. Two little guys full of happiness and love, who's favorite thing is to make people laugh.

I have much more to say, but this is all for now. Bye-bye! And please nominate mythdubs for me if you're convinced o7

[antimony-medusa]

As a tubbling, sorry for the extra neg thrown towards your streamer’s cubito. In case you weren’t aware, long story short, while the permadeath was out of nowhere for the streamers and their viewers, it’s been a long time coming for the tubblings and egg admins. Like we couldn’t make it angstier even if we tried kkkkkkkkk. And when we saw our cubito’s issues be overlooked and joked about again (obvious to tubbo viewers but not to anyone else because god forbid qtubbo communicates), even after his own death, we got so frustrated and lashed out at whoever was loudest and it happened to be phil. Which one makes sense for him to do since they’re literally close irl friends and two is also unfair to him because when he did realize the seriousness of it, he immediately went to help. So yeah honestly sorry again for that, hope what I said sorta makes sense and while it’s more likely to happen to qphil, it can and will happen to every character, tubbo included lmao. Can’t speak for everyone but I’ll try to chill out a bit 🤏 Who knew that the rarest thing on the qsmp would be emotional intelligence wow im so shocked 😮 (<-has watched phil and tubbo for years i am not shocked) KKKKKKK have a good day lol :D

Thank you for the message! :D

And yeah, I follow enough tubblings either here or on Ao3 that I was aware of what the tubbling perspective is in terms of Tubbo's issues being overlooked, once I thought about it. And like, that's part of the tragedy of tubbo isn't it, that he's has been setting up this angst where other streamers don't see it, but even when he does it where they CAN see it, they take it as bits, because that's how they view Tubbo and because at a certain point of sarcasm, saying "i'm having a terrible day and I kind of want to die" still gets read as a joke because you said it yesterday as a joke. (Ran into that issue in my real life, actually.) He's having a painful time, but everybody goes "oh tubbo" about it.

Thank you for the understanding of my perspective too, cause I was sitting through that stream like "oh man, Phil keeps bringing up to the eggs that it's gonna be okay, we're gonna get him back, hehe the create wrench I wonder if Tubbo will let that bring him back to life, oh that's quite sweet, he does care about Tubbo so much" and then I stepped onto the dash and saw the reaction and went OH NO THE OTHER PERSPECTIVE I FORGOT THAT NOT EVERYBODY PROCESSES EVERYTHING THROUGH JOKES and scrolled in dismay. It's obvious to me that cc!Phil cares a lot about Tubbo and I think q!phil cares a lot too, he just— thought it was a joke at first. Distracted by having many eggs around (you know that man is at max paranoia and minimum emotional processing with three+ eggs in his care).

The good news is we got FASCINATING Creation lore out of it, (picture me showing up in multiple liveblogging channels like "who's this herobrine motherfucker and no he can't have the eggs what the fuck"). Here's to more fascinating lore and qTubbo coming back to life (PLEASE man I don't want this to be your exit from the server, I like qTubbo), and all of us appreciating other perspectives. Emotional intelligence truly rarer than cucurucho cookies in my OWN life, I know, it's so hard. 😭😭