#oh for a skeleton queue

[dailywillwood]

tthere's a singer i think you'd really like. His name is Will Wood. Be careful tho, he has tapeworms

Oh no! Tapeworms??? 😰😰😰. I bet he was a land pirate at some point wasn't he :///

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[starswirly]

bwah

(Ink -> Comyet, Dream -> Jokublog)

[grimvisionary]

i may be picking skeleton, but i can't pass up the reference for my boy.....

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Undertale

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: Undertale

Thursday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Friday:

2:30 PM: Undertale (Handplates?)

Saturday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Sunday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

[queenjulia11]

Midst season 2 finale and Haunted City season 1 spoilers!

So um… If I had a nickel for every time a character I liked

1. Had translucent skin & a visible skeleton

2. A unique voice/accent

3. Was highly unsettling to everyone they meet (sometimes on purpose)

4. Had/has experience in shady business dealings and is very much a criminal

5. Got manipulated/brainwashed by a higher power that promises everything they ever wanted but in reality only cares about its own personal gain and takes and takes until the people who serve it are former shells of who they once were, ultimately forcing them to become the people they once hated with seemingly no way out

… I would have two nickels.

[octuscle]

Fun on the not so fair ground

Where Darren was, Darren wasn't there because he was particularly clever or hard-working or charming. No one knew exactly how Darren had made it to division manager. And how he had remained division manager despite dissatisfied colleagues and customers. No one liked the arrogant, smug asshole. He was moody, incompetent… But he was divisional manager and because of some skeleton he had in the closet with some board member, he remained divisional manager.

One of Darren's most striking characteristics was his stinginess. And his resentment. He was annoyed that he hadn't won any tickets for the rollercoaster or the Ferris wheel in the lottery organized by the HR department for the company outing to the fair. But he was all the more delighted to win a ticket for the ghost train. Everyone else had always won two tickets. He suspected that the ghost train was so expensive that there was only one ticket for it. And he had it.

For Darren, going to the fair was more of a chore. Having to deal with his colleagues in the evening was an imposition. But since he had won the ticket, he had to go. And he especially had to go on the ghost train. His colleagues wished him a lot of fun, the meeting was in a beer tent in half an hour. Darren joined the short queue. The ticket taker looked at his ticket. "Oh, the special tour!" he said with a grin. His eyes just lit up red for a moment. Must be some kind of special effect, Darren thought to himself. The bar on his gondola closed. The ride started.

It was a terribly boring ride. Only small children would be frightened on something like this. Darren was happy when the ride was over and the bar opened again. He walked towards the exit. Suddenly a door slammed shut in front of him. And a hidden wallpaper door creaked open. This had to be the part with the special tour. But here too: Lame, boring effects. Some of them were obviously broken. And the dust and cobwebs seemed to be real. Darren stood in front of a picture with the caption "Your greatest horror". Well. Biggest horror. It showed a young man with cheap clothes, a cheap haircut and obviously no future. Darren wasn't afraid of people like that. He ignored people like that. There was a mirror next to the picture. It was captioned 'Your future'. Darren saw a young man with cheap clothes, a cheap haircut and clearly no future. Fuck! He grabbed his face and the reflection did the same. His skin, which had just been flawless for a man in his late 30s, was blemished. As if from too much alcohol and nicotine. And too little care. Maybe it was the remnants of acne, because the man in the mirror was younger than Darren. Maybe in his early 20s. Badly shaved. His hair styled in a preppy undercut. And he stank. That couldn't have come from his reflection. The jacket was made of cheap, badly tanned leather. Sweat. Cheap deodorant. Nicotine. His fingers smelled like those of a chain smoker. And his teeth were yellow like a chain smoker's. In a panic, Darren looked for the exit. He found himself behind the ghost train. There was a "Staff only" sign above the exit. Darren tried to open the door. He rattled the handle. A man opened it for him. Behind the door was a small staff room. The man asked if he wanted to apply for the position of young man to travel with the fair. Darren ran away in a panic.

Where to now? To the beer tent? What would his colleagues say? They wouldn't recognize him. He tried anyway. The bouncer turned him away. For invited guests only. Darren had an invitation. He used to have an invitation in the inside pocket of his jacket. Now he had an almost empty pack of filterless cigarettes and a battered Zippo. His wallet hung on a chain from his torn jeans. With a bit of cash. A ten-ride bus pass that was almost used up. And a driver's license. For big trucks and tractor-trailers. Bloody hell! He still had to be on this ghost train. It was better than he thought. But he didn't feel like it anymore. He wanted a shower and then to get into his silk pyjamas. But his car key was gone. And where his car had been, there was now a completely different one. He had to walk, Darren had no idea how he was going to get home on the bus and he didn't have the money for a cab.

He had been walking for almost half an hour when he finally got home. In the dark windows of his elegant old apartment on the mezzanine floor, the "For Sale" signs were covered with "Sold". The. Is. A. Cursed. Nightmare! Darren no longer had a key for anything. Not for this apartment that used to be his, not for a missing car, not for his office. He had no cell phone, he had the few things he had on his person. A nightmare! His worst nightmare! His biggest horror! Darren climbed over the fence. It was surprisingly easy. His new body was athletic. He had already noticed that on the way here. There was a Victorian summer house at the back of the garden that belonged to his apartment. And he always hid a key there. Under a flower pot. A flowerpot that no longer existed. Everything on the porch of the garden shed was an army duffel bag. With a rucksack in it, a tracksuit, underwear. Everything wasn't quite clean anymore. But it was obviously his. Darren picked up the duffel bag, walked over to the fence, threw the duffel bag over and climbed in after it. A policeman shouted "Freeze!" And Darren ran for his life.

It had taken him three quarters of an hour to get back to the fair with his duffel bag. No idea why he had come back here. A few drunks staggered out of the beer tents. Darren didn't recognize any of them as colleagues. Most of the rides were just closing. "Son, can you give me a hand?" Shouted an older gentleman struggling on the bumper cars. "A few dollars, a bowl of soup, and by the look of you, you could use a place to sleep." Darren took a deep breath, grabbed his duffel bag and helped the man push the bumper cars together and lock them up.

The first few days were hell. Darren wasn't used to physical labor, even though his body was. The little money he earned was enough for cigarettes and pre-paid cards for a cell phone. And the guys he had to share the trailer with snarled and stank. But Darren probably snarled too. And he certainly did stink. The only thing he enjoyed was sex. Plenty of sex. Apparently there were lots of girls and boys, young and old, who liked the fairground rebel type. Darren had stopped counting how many cocks he had sucked between the frames of the rollercoaster, how many asses and pussies he had fucked. Sometimes for free. Sometimes for a handful of dollars. He could put that money to good use. A buddy had a booth at the fair where he did tattoos. Real works of art. Of course Darren got a special price. But even among the bros here at the fair, nothing was for free. The first few days went by. The first weeks went by. Darren, who everyone had long since just called Daz, had gained routine in building and dismantling "his" rollercoaster. The other guys who helped out here were runaways, vagrants… They were usually gone again after a few days. Not Daz. This was his home. This was his family. He loved his job. And he was damn good at it.

When Daz took over the management of the small fairground company with a rollercoaster, a bumper car and a lottery booth a few years later, nobody was surprised. Daz belonged here. Always in a good mood, always ready to help. And always horny!

[littledollll]

Hey...sorry it's me again, but since you write for wanda, can I maybe request something with a fem reader where there's a little bit of mindfuckery going on? Basically reader wakes up in some sort of new reality, in a bed made for two rather than one, blinds to let the sunlight in rather than curtains to keep everyone and everything out, but they don't really question it because it almost doesn't feel real? Kinda like a dream? And suddenly they have a girlfriend, Wanda, who dotes on them, snuggles them in bed, watches sitcoms with them, somehow knows all their skeletons in the closet (mind reading hehe) and lets them curl up on her chest and cry it out as she soothes them, makes them snacks, helps them do basic tasks when they're (super) depressed. Unbeknownst to reader, Wanda has actually torn apart the multiverse to be with them once again after having already lost them in another??? I'm sorry if this is way too much

-🧸 anon (loves you)

Mastermind

Wanda Maximoff x reader

A/n: im so behind on requests im trying believe me! Writing is getting hard :/ but! this was so fucking nice to write, yk that random motivation. when I tell u it just came to me and I couldn’t stop writing- I love love love Wanda, specially her being rly soft and lovey:( ty for your request hun.

Warnings: kinda manipulation? Hex pt.2, slightly suggestive if you squint, lots and lots of soft kisses, mentions of r struggling with anxiety and depressive episodes, lots of comfort, mostly narrated.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

A kiss. It was so soft. Intoxicatingly so. Her gentle hands cupping your face, the comforting weight of her straddling your lap made you feel grounded, and so safe. You whimpered when she parted from you, nuzzling into her chest while your arms wrapped around her. “My sweet little darling.. oh how I love you.” She whispered, her hands brushing your hair back and away from your face.

You didn’t know where this came from. Some day long ago you simply woke up and there she was. Wanda. You had a whole life with her. And somewhere between the fuzziness you remembered it all. How you met, everything from your first conversation to your first time. Your life before you got married, how you moved in together before then, and how your family disapproved of it. And god. That perfect wedding. The happiest day of your life, when it all finally came together for you, this was it. The stars aligned and have you this, gave you her.

In some part of your mind you didn’t know this woman, but at the same time you always had. You knew everything about her and she knew everything about you. Every little thing. You couldn’t bother to question it, if it was a dream then so be it, it was such a lovely dream, everything you could possibly ever want was right here. A beautiful and kind woman, with so much love and comfort to give. Wanda understood you, she allowed you to feel and cry but never alone, she was right here through it all. Allowing you to hide against her chest and pet your hair when you cried, telling you the most reassuring words, ensuring your comfort at all times.

It wasn’t a one time thing, you quickly noticed. Every day felt like a movie, every day she was the perfect woman, and she was yours. You’d watch tv together, listen to music and dance your hearts out.

Your favorite part was the cooking. Just like you were now. Both hands wrapped around her torso as you hugged her from behind, your girl, your wife. She let out an adorable giggle when you nuzzled into her neck and squeezed her tight.

“Are you planning an staying there the whole time darling or would you bother to help me out with our dinner.” She teased, her tone was scolding but so obviously not genuinely upset.

“m okay right here, my love.” Almost as if on queue the tv switched to play one of your favorite songs. You swayed with Wanda, holding her impossibly close and effectively preventing her from getting any actual cooking done which she was quick to scold you about yet again.

“If you want dinner you need to let me cook, dear.” You ignored her, sighing contently against her neck and closing your eyes. “Just gimme a minute to love on you, nothing wrong with giving my wife a little affection.” She let you. Her own arms coming to hug around yours, a bright smile painted on her face. She always looked so happy with you, even more so. It’s like all her energy recharged when you did little things like this, and the second you noticed you started doing it non-stop.

Wanda always gave you so much. She gave you her everything. The least you could do was give her these moments, ones where she took a deep breath and let her head lull to your shoulder, eyes blissfully closed and an always beautiful smile on her face. You loved this woman. Your beautiful Wanda.

“Let’s finish cooking mamá, I’ll help you.” You parted with a kiss. A sweet kiss like always, those kisses she’d giggle or smile into and give you a flirty little look, then go about her day like she didn’t know what she was doing to you. “Cut this up for me will you, darling?” You hummed and did a she asked, shaking your head to think about the now and not the events awaiting later tonight.

“Get your mind out of the gutter!” Wanda smacked you with an oven mitt furrowing her brows at you. “Dirty dirty mind.” You chucked and looked back at her. “What! I didn’t say anything” she let out a drawn out, “mhmmm” before turning back to put some ingredients in the pan. “I just know what you’re thinking. Hurry it up I need those!” “Right right! I’m sorry!”

Wanda found it odd, that making this reality with you didn’t take so much of her power like others had before. Like your own mind was subconsciously giving into her without her trying to force it. When Wanda occasionally peaked into your mind to see if any dreams or memories about your old life haunted you there was nothing. When she searched for doubts about your life or any clue that you might be figuring things out she only saw the slight confusion of those moments there your mind briefly recalled having a life without or before her, but you didn’t dwell on them, in-fact you thought of them as your anxiety messing you up but never once did you doubt her. Like you subconsciously simply refused to believe there was ever a life without her.

It was perfect. She didn’t really trick you. She just treated you like she did you from her universe, gave you their memories and anything you could possibly need. And you seemed more than content with this life, with her. She was your perfect girl, and you were her darling little love. Both of you living the life of your dreams, together.

[goobersplat]

I’m kinda baffled how much you guys liked my Lego skeleton head post. Because sometimes I queue up a post knowing “oh people will like this” but that was not one of them 😂 You guys continue to surprise me lol.

[27dragons]

New Year Countdown: Dec 30

I forgot again! I was actually going to sleep last night and thought, "oh shit, did I remember to post?" and then thought, "yes, of course I did" with the full memory of shuffling around my file and everything. Bad memory, no cookie! So for yesterday's belated post, have some Cyberpunk Steve/Tony, and since I'm going out tonight, I'll put tonight's post in the queue for later.

Dec 30 - Stony - Cyberpunk AU - Fireworks

It always took Tony a few minutes to recover when he dropped his connection to the Net. The nanites were so fast, faster than thought, and if he dumped them without the proper procedures, he’d be half-stunned, unable for a few minutes to think properly or even move his body without tripping over himself.

So he kept his eyes closed, breathing carefully and counting the beats of his heart until the spaces between them seemed merely slow and not interminable.

When he did open his eyes, Steve was standing in front of him, waiting patiently. “You back in the real world?”

Steve wasn’t wearing his smart armor, just a standard BPV, so the situation couldn’t be too bad. “The Net is real,” Tony said for probably the thousandth time. “But yeah, I’m back in meatspace. What’s up, Cap?”

“Not sure,” Steve admitted. “There’s rumors floating around that something’s going to happen down by the river. I thought we should go check it out.”

“No idea what?” Tony wondered. “You want me to dive back in, see what I can dig up in the Shadows?” He tapped at the housing embedded in his chest that maintained the nanites when they weren’t in use.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Netters,” he said, fondly exasperated. “I thought we could go check it out in person.”

“Old man,” Tony shot back at him, grinning. “You spend all your free time pining for the old days, don’t you?” He reached for his overcoat. It wasn’t armor, but it was lined with protective panels, and besides, it was cold out there. “Who’s staying here to keep an eye on the children?”

Predictably, Steve said, “Bucky.”

“And who’s going to keep an eye on Bucky?” Tony teased.

Steve shoved Tony playfully -- and gently, because despite his grousing about the danger of too much cyber enhancement, Steve’s skeleton and musculature were boosted and he could put Tony through a wall if he didn’t keep a tight rein on his strength.

They made their way out to the street and headed toward the river. “What do you think we’re going to find?” he wondered. Steve didn’t seem tense, like he was expecting trouble, but he did seem a little nervy.

“Don’t know,” Steve admitted. “You know, you spent the whole day in the Net. Must be hungry; want to stop at Joey’s for a burger on the way?” He waved at the diner’s signpost, just half a block from where they were passing.

“You don’t want to chase this thing down first?” That wasn’t much like Steve.

“From what I’ve heard, we’ve got some time.”

Tony shot Steve a suspicious look, but he seemed not to notice. “...Sure. Burger would be good, actually.”

Steve drew Tony into a discussion about the latest smartlink upgrades as they ate, and then they bickered lazily about whether Bucky should let Tony work on his cyberware or if he’d be better off going to WakandaTek for maintenance, and Tony forgot about his concerns. By the time they left Joey’s, they were well into a threadbare old argument about enhancements for Steve’s holoshield.

It wasn’t until the first explosion made Tony all but jump out of his skin that he remembered why they were wandering the streets in midwinter. “Fuck!” he gasped, ducking into an alley for cover and looking around wildly. “What was that?”

Steve looked up into the sky, and Tony followed his gaze. Against the purplish glow of the city’s night sky was a sparkling glitter of lights.

Steve grabbed Tony’s wrist. “Come on, it’s starting!” He tugged, and Tony was helpless to do anything but follow.

Another explosion lit up the sky with jewels of color and light. “Fireworks?” Tony said. “Your mysterious something was fireworks? You tricked me into a patrol to... what, get dinner and watch fireworks?” He blinked as the obvious answer occurred. “Is this a date, Steve?”

Steve shot Tony a slightly sheepish smile. “Well... yeah. If you want it to be.”

Crowds were gathering, now that it was apparent the explosions were benign, but there was no one there who knew them. Tony leaned into Steve’s warmth and looked up at the blooming colors in the sky, and smiled as Steve’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“Happy New Year.”

[alwaysanangcl]

Good morning, friends!!

It's the first day of the semester! I just sent off my syllabi so I'm gonna take Bean to the park before I have to get out of the house for class. My schedule is a little easier this semester and I'm only on campus to teach Monday and Wednesday at noon, paired with rehearsal from 5-9 Monday-Thursday, so I'm hoping that things won't be too crazy this time!

As per usual, I'm not sure how I'm going to adjust/my mental availability to be here/etc. but I'm going to try and get the queue up and running at a slow pace so I'm at least around a little! Discord is definitely somewhere I am more accessible, so I'm happy to add you there if you like!!

Happy Fall, friends! We're almost to the cold and spooky months and OH MY GOD, I FORGOT TO TELL Y'ALL I GOT THE 12FT SKELETON!! HE COMES HOME NEXT WEEK AND I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED.

y'all should suggest names for him lmao

Alright, i'm off to the park! love you guys!!

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

S/O and skeleton are waiting in a queue for hours now, and S/O is bored. S/O suddenly decides to do a cringe Fortnite dance in front of everyone to divert themselves and entertain everyone. How does skeleton react?

Undertale Sans - He jumps a little when you start dancing out of nowhere, but after a few seconds, he snorts and starts to laugh uncontrolably. What the hell? That's so bad. You're the reason Sans does nothing but cringe Fortnite dances to piss off Papyrus for two months. Great.

Undertale Papyrus - ?????? Oh no! You must be having a heatstroke, that's terrible! Papyrus will insist you sit down and drink water, again and again. Since you're not listening to him, he kicks your legs and makes you fall on your butt. "HYDRATE THIS INSTANT."

Underswap Sans - He looks at you in bewilderment. What are you even doing??? He is so confused. His brain tries to make some sense of what's happening in front of his eyes, but it's like even his brain can't understand what you're doing. He sits on the floor and have a mental breakdown, right here, right now.

Underswap Papyrus - Honey doesn't like attention on him... Except to do stupid things. Since everyone is looking at the both of you, he is stressed and decides to dance with you so you two get awkward together. What a show!

Underfell Sans - His smile becomes evil as he stares at your butt without even trying to hide it. Please continue. He likes that a lot. It's entertaining.

Underfell Papyrus - Edge is dying inside. You are cringing him so hard he walks a few meters away from you and pretends he doesn't know you. He is blushing furiously, he hates it so much. Why are you like this?!

Horrortale Sans - He tilts his head and watches you carefully. Are... Are you trying to sign something to him? He's not sure what you're trying to tell him... He smiles patiently and nods so you have the impression he's listening even if he has no idea what you want.

Horrortale Papyrus - Mr Opportunity takes the opportunity you offer him. He carries you in his arms like a baby and runs at the front of the line screaming you're having an attack. Then, he stops and says "OH, ACTUALLY, THEY'RE FEELING BETTER. WELL, SINCE WE ARE HERE, LET'S GO BEFORE THEY PASS OUT." And this is how you did whatever you were doing in five minutes instead of a few hours.

Swapfell Sans - He rolls his eyes at you and turns his back to you, ignoring you. He won't stop you from doing it, but he's not going to encourage it either. Make a fool of yourself all alone please.

Swapfell Papyrus - Of course he joins him. Chances are you planned this, the both of you. Rus is entertaining the crowd while you're dansing, and he's asking for money at the same time for the spectacular show you two are doing. You both got evicted of the line by security. Great job.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He hits your hand, stopping you immediately. Wine is not funny. You pout all the rest of the afternoon to show him you're mad.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - His anxiety is growing more and more as everyone is looking at the both of you. He's trying to beg you to stop, so uncomfortable, but you're not listening. He curls up on the floor et cries.

[freakingoutthesquares]

Tigger Pissed On Me. Or: The skeletons in Pulp's Closet Words: Nick Griffiths Taken from Deadline, July 1992

Welcome to widescreen, stereophonic anecdote-drama, with extra special guests, Pulp. Meeting them is a privilege.

The scene

Bunjies Coffee House, London, aka "The Folk Cellar", where the strains (literally) of celebrated folk guru, Gary Numan, are piping through cappuccino stained speakers. Enter three members of Pulp, Sheffield's answer to strangeness in pop - proof that Sheffield at least has an answer to something. Someone once wrote that Pulp took the stage "looking like the escape party from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", which was unfair. Drummer Nick's uncle is (the) Gordon Banks. Guitarist/violinist Russell maintains (misguidedly, even though he does stare a lot) that he is "the guy from Sparks". I suggest that singer/guitarist/object-of-impressionable-girls-desires Jarvis Cocker looks ever so slightly like Jimmy White. He does not take this as a compliment.

Skeleton One

RUSSELL: It was a snowy day and I was going to see a film. I arrived at the cinema, and there was a queue outside of about 20 people. I was behind this girl that I vaguely knew and l just started making conversation: "It's cold isn't it?: Yes it's cold: Very, very cold: Yes it is, very cold. Feel my cheeks." And I felt her cheeks and there's me thinking - cold, like a fridge - and I said, "Oh yeah, can I put my meat in your mouth?" People in the queue started turning round, and I'm holding her cheeks, and at that point the connotation of what I'd said dawned on me, so I tried to rectify it. The whole queue's watching me and I'm going - cause it's cold, like a fridge - I still had to stand there in that queue, cause to have gone off would have been admitting that was like, y'know... She never spoke to me again.

Skeleton Two

JARVIS: I once wore pink tights and a blonde wig for a school play, Twelfth Night. It was good though, because I got to feel the English teacher's breasts. We were doing a dress rehearsal and there was this bit where I had to make a gesture and land my hand on this girl's breasts. Which was a good part for me, cause I wore specs at school and had bad teeth, so I never used to get girls. But then she was ill this day and the English teacher, who everybody fancied, stood in for her. Halfway through the scene I realised I was going to have to grab hold of her tits. So I did, and everyone was going "What were it like? What were it like?"

ALL: What was it like?

JARVIS (Enviably nonchalant): It was alright.

Skeleton Three

JARVIS: Russell used to be a rocker. He used to be into Hawkwind (To Russell). Did you ever wear a lab coat?

RUSSELL: Ahem. No, I didn't actually, no.

JARVIS: And he used to have a very thin pencil moustache.

RUSSELL: I was in a heavy rock band called Isengard.

JARVIS: Isengard?

RUSSELL: It's a valley in Lord of the Rings.

Skeleton Four

JARVIS: Nick's got Nina Hagen written on his drum bag.

NICK: That was my friend's.

JARVIS: These are the excuses he comes out with.

NICK: I did go and see some very dodgy punk bands. I went to see Angelic Upstarts in Rotherham. Me and a couple of mates were right up for it. We got the tickets and on the day thought "Fookin 'ell, there'll be loads of skinheads there; we might get beaten up." I put on this punk T shirt to go down there and we decided to go in the back way in case there were loads of skinheads round the front. We got close to the entrance and still thought there may be loads of skinheads there, so we decided to go round to a friend's house and come back later. In the end we never actually got to the concert cos we were so scared of getting beaten up by skinheads.

Skeleton Five

RUSSELL: I got pissed on by a tiger on a school trip.

DEADLINE: What were you doing lying underneath a tiger?

RUSSELL: No, we were at the zoo and it was time to go, and I'm looking at this tiger and it's looking at me. It turned it's back on me and cocked its tail - and have you ever seen Tomcats spray? Tigers do it, like, big stylee. There was no escape from it: It was just like "Ppsssscchwooosshh". And I'm saturated in this tiger piss and it's like "time to go now". What do you do? I'm sat on this coach seat on me own and all the way back they were going "What's that horrible smell?". It's like "Oh, Miss, a tiger pissed on me". What can you say?

Skeleton Six

RUSSELL: I tried to fly. I used to have a cacky conservatory with a red and white striped awning made of plastic. And I decided to make it into a hang-glider - although hang-gliders weren't really invented at this stage; It was just a big kite. I made this massive thing about 15 foot long and I'm running up and down our road. like, jumping. And I took it on our school field and there's all these people watching me, and I'm running down it and I did start to take off, and it nosedived and landed on top of me. So I'm trapped underneath and I couldn't crawl out, and everybody's lying around laughing. Then I had to drag it back home and nobody would help me. I was really pissed off. Dragging this thing back like it was a bloody cross or something.

Skeleton Seven

JARVIS: I used to have loads of rubbish hobbies. I had collecting badges - nice big ones.

DEADLINE: What sort?

JARVIS: Oh, anything - double glazing... Even me Mother was always trying to get me to write to Swap Shop to be on it. She even knitted me a jumper and said, "You can put all your badges on that", Which I thought was sad. She asks me if I've still got it.

Skeleton Eight

JARVIS: We did our first ever concert at school. We decided we wanted to have dry ice, so we had a word with the chemistry teacher about it and he said, "Oh yeah, yeah, I'll sort you something out". We played this concert on the school stage and there was the chemistry teacher with two swotty kids, and he had a bunsen burner. And he kept getting a bit of magnesium ribbon and it'd just go 'pff'. And that was supposed to be pyrotechnics. It was like a little chemistry lesson at the side of the stage. A bit of green smoke that only went a couple of inches. Very tragic.

Actually Pulp are very cool

  Alvin Stardust (During his Shane Fenton period) slept on Jarvis' parents' floor.

  It's rumoured that Joe Cocker fitted Jarvis' parents' gas fire.

  One of Mike Harding's guitar strings hangs around a statue at Jarvis' parents house.

  Nick has met Ken Goodwin (All: Who?)

  Tony Christie used to live around the corner from Jarvis.

  Emlyn Hughes (allegedly) used to shag a woman who lived at the bottom of Jarvis' road. "It got to be known that he was doing it, so the kids used to gather around on a Sunday Morning and shout up at the bedroom window."

  Pulp are "deep personal friends" of Paul King.

���  Jarvis has "done a fart next to Mike Edwards" of Jesus Jones. "It was this party in a pub. There were only two urinals; he went to use one, I went to use the other one. And you know when you do an involuntary fart when you're having a pee? There was nobody else to blame it on, and I wasn't finished, so I had to stand there looking embarrassed."

  Nick has drunk from the League Cup.

  Jarvis has Dixon of Dock Green's and Brian Clough's autographs.

  Nick: "Tommy Cooper once brushed past me"

  It's all getting a bit tenuous now, isn't it?

The Plug

Pulp have a sense of humour. Lots of other bands don't. The only reason they might gaze at their shoes onstage is to check that they've put their shoes on. Pulp could easily be the hippest band of this year, if only they could sort out their contractual wrangles and if only people would have heard of them. To say Pulp are refreshing live is like saying that Martin Amis is quite pretentious. They are a Bounty Ice Cream on a very hot day. Buy their new-ish "O.U." EP this instant, otherwise people will point at you and laugh.

Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

[headcanontheshitoutofsoulsborne]

Regarding the "Stupidest Mistakes", the main one I remember is using a Fire Keeper's Soul because I thought it'd give me 99 Humanity, not realizing that was a glitch or something Speedrunners used at one point (I think)

During my first time ever playing a Souls game (Scholar), I somehow missed the door to leave Things Betwix. Kept trying to fight the ogre because I thought that was the way forward. I am ashamed to admit I ended up looking it up because "rechecking the house" did not cross my mind. Very stupid beginning with this series, to say the least. Also didn't know how to lock on for a while, which was something as sorcerer

And now this series is among my favorite things to play

That sounds like the duping items glitch. I have seen speedrunners use it a lot ^^ But I never tried to do it on my own. I think it uses the queue system of the games to trick the game that you used an item without actually using it. Oh that reminds me of thinking the skeletons in the first Dark Souls are the right way before I gave up and thought that something was wrong ^^

Then I found the way to the Undead Burg.

[elkenbulwark]

@a-crookedtouch cont.

He hated it. He hated it since Birvor emerged from his tent. He despised it when it was purchased. He loathed being face to face with it now. A gaze intentional he made. Up and down and back again. His nostrils curled as a man who smelt something absolutely rancid. His brows knitted toward the center of his face. No mistaking his expression from anything other than revulsion.

"Oh it's much more than an insinuation. Just so we're clear I am stating that your outfit is an assault to my eyes."

It wasn't his idea to make like a high elf and play dress up every chance he got, and even if he'd wanted to (which he didn't) he didn't have the time nor the patience to queue behind his brother who had dedicated himself to fixing his hair daily...some times twice a day. So when the leather training jerkin that had been through the hell of a scuffle with orcs, soaked in elf blood and ripped through various means- a few being falling from a space ship onto a rocky beach, slashed at by road thieves, and beat with the bones of some very lively skeletons after falling into a damn hole in the ground and into some dusty catacombs, well...he could have gone a few more rounds, honestly, but the pile of furs and leather straps was quite forcibly placed within his arms and he was sent off to a tent with a sponge for good measure.

The Oak Father's Embrace was a furry one and perhaps the guy Halsin reported to only embraced one with such a garb on because it turned whoever donned it into a living teddy bear as much of the elk fur stitched into it. Well, a bear or a boar...Astarion would liken him to the latter, given that look he'd given Birvor after the other rejoined the camp newly-clothed.

Brow furrowed and eyes practically pinpricks of irrate energy, he glared perplexed down at the elf and his dramatic display of displeasure. "And that's my problem, why? Oh, and just so we're clear, I hope it leaves bruises on'em." Like he gave half a harpee's tit what another high-horse riding high elf made of his gear anyhow.

[sysig]

Skelefam

Unfortunately, as much as I love this mod - I mean, it’s beautiful! Just look at it! - it does have a game-crashing bug D: For some reason skeletons can’t get jobs, it crashes the game lol, so as much as I’d love to have Gaster in the Science career, he is a stay-at-home parent! That’s fine, nannies suck in TS2 lol. There’s also only a few clothing options but I’m gonna try some poking around to at least expand upon what’s there already :D

I ended up using the stretchSkeleton cheat - hehe, skeleton - to make Papyrus a bit taller and Sans a bit smaller. It’s only really noticeable in their ankles, and their animations are a bit misaligned, but other than that it’s very cute! :D Sans is also chubby but it’s kinda hard to tell :0

Sans, stop breaking the fourth wall!

Look how little he is compared to his brother hehe

Also, and I did not edit or plan this - they naturally started falling into their relationship dynamics! Gaster and Sans have a much lower Short Term Relationship here than Gaster and Papyrus haha

Would that I could! I was still testing at this point and yup, it crashed. Sadge

Well even if I can’t get the jobs, I can still cheat-unlock the Career Awards! Scientist behaviour lol

Look at their delicate little haaands

Did you know that Gaster sucks? He does!

Oh what are skeletons not your type? Don’t be rude

Sans even rejected him when Gaster offered to dance together! I love them

Gaster’s POV - he was listening to Sans tell a joke and next in the queue Papyrus wanted to show off to him. So accurate haha

Papyrus’ POV, of course he’s friends with both of them, sweet boy

And Sans’, look at how much more he thinks of his brother over Gaster! What more could I ask for honestly

Only concerned with Gaster seeing lol, Papyrus is way closer! He doesn’t count haha

Racecar bed babyyyy

Retextured the outfit for Papyrus, so now they’re much easier to tell apart! :D

Crossover babies ♪ One of the Todds walked by and I just now realized I also gave them a red/blue twin aesthetic haha

And that’s all he’ll want and care about from now on :)

Hehe. He gets it!

Papyrus is bad at making friends! Sans there in the background passively ++ing with Todd lol, he’s a natural