#oh but and THEN spike is at the house and buffy and spike fight so fluidly

[andthesunwillalwaysshine]

funny how in the end of tvd the only character (that was around, i will always love my girl katherine) i could stand was damon, now the only characters in btvs i can stand are buffy and spike :) :(

[femslashspuffy]

I'm watching pretty much all the episodes where Riley is a little bitch today and I cannot get past how much he is not trying. He doesn't want to be her boyfriend he wants to be her best boyfriend and he's competing with this guy who was her soulmate and he can't just be cool with that he has to try to be better than him and he has no chance and it makes it so he just stops trying in the relationship

But BUFFY knows that he will never be angel and she doesn't expect him to be so he's pulling back because he thinks there's no chance she could want him and she's left alone during some of the worst moments in her life and THEN he abandons her friends when they're all trying to pick up Buffy's slayer slack while she's going through it

Just... it feels like he's not trying. He completely misses the point in every conversation just-- him trying to get her to cry in the hospital and then he gets upset that she won't cry on him (because she has to support her mom and dawn) and so he misses out on helping her and holding her when she takes her mom home. She is forced to cry over the sink by herself because Riley is too much of a pissbaby to focus on being a good boyfriend even if he can't be the best

[ashwhowrites]

Ahhhh I've been so excited since you mentioned Buffy universe, so obviously I NEED to make a request (i have too much ideas, but I'll try to calm down 😅)

I was thinking about human reader x Spike (my love ❤️). Spike is so madly in love with her that scooby gang has fun watching it, but it is kind of adorable even for them.

One day Spike heard about Angel's visit in town and since then he tries to keep reader far from scooby gang and Angel.

He's telling himself he's not scared of losing reader to Angel because their relationship is strong and mature (not like his previous one) but he's insecure that reader could choose broody handsome brunette because of this all good things he's done

And with happy end pretty please

(I'm so happy, somebody wants to write about buffyverse 🎉🎉🎉)

Thank you for your time 💜💜💜

I'm so in love with Spike so I get it!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. It feels very weird to write about a different character so I hope it feels like Spike. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Ugh, not Angel

"So does this mean Spike gets to help?" Y/N asked with glee. She knew many of her friends didn't enjoy it when her boyfriend was around but at times she didn't care.

"I say we can do it without the blood-sucking vampire," Xander said as he rolled his eyes. Y/N shot him a glare.

"Be nice, Xander," Willow reminded him.

"Even though I hate to say it, we need Spike's help," Buffy said with disappointment.

~

"The man of the hour has arrived!" Spike said as he walked into Buffy's house. Y/N walked in behind him and closed the door. Together they walked to Buffy's couch and took a seat.

Giles and Buffy explained the plan but Spike was far from listening. His girl was tucked under his arm; all he could focus on was her face. He watched as she listened intently, nodding to what she agreed.

"Spike!" Buffy snapped, clapping her hands. The vampire was quick to look over at her with a snarl. "Pay attention!"

"Oh Buffy, don't be jealous," Spike teased giving her a small amount of attention before he went back to Y/N.

"Listen," Y/N warned, nodding her head toward Buffy. He listened to her, as he always did.

"Weren't you like a terrifying vampire before you got pussy whipped?" Xander joked. Buffy smirked at the comment but made sure not to laugh.

"I can still tear your throat out," Spike growled, biting the air. "I'm not pussy whipped. I just happen to worship the ground my darling walks on."

Y/N tried not to blush at Spike's words. His accent always made her heart race.

"Yeah, Xander! Would it kill you to worship me like that?" Anya complained. Xander groaned as he knew a new fight would happen by the time he went home.

"Quiet!" Giles said, gaining everyone's attention.

~~~

Spike was watching TV in his crypt when he heard someone enter. He turned his head and groaned to himself as Buffy walked in.

"Oh great the slayer," he said, clicking off the TV.

"It looks different here," Buffy realized, looking around. There were candles near the bed, which were covered in fuzzy pillows. There were twinkle lights hung up, for once giving the dark crypt some light.

"What do you need?" Spike asked, ignoring her comments.

"Y/N has a nice touch," Buffy smirked. Spike shifted uncomfortably in his chair, but a sense of pride in his cold chest knowing she was displayed in his home.

"Get to the damn point, slayer."

"Angel's back," Buffy sighed.

Spike quickly flew out of his chair, an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

"Why?" Spike growled. Spike and Angel didn't get along too well. Both vampires but Angel was the better one in people's opinion. Spike didn't tend to care about the comparison but Y/N had never met Angel before and he wanted to keep it that way. "Actually I don't even care." He sassed. Buffy watched confused as he ran out.

~

Y/N was painting her toes when Spike let himself into her bedroom. She looked up with a smile as she smelled him.

"Hello, handsome,"

Spike smiled as she went back to focusing on her toes, moving to sit on the hard floor. He didn't say anything as he grabbed the polish from her hands and began to paint her toes.

She smiled as she let him take over. She adored moments like this with him. When he was doing human things with her. She reached down and ran her fingers through his blonde hair, messing up the perfection it always was. He'd bite off anyone's hand if they touched him like that but it was her so he didn't mind.

"I'm glad you stopped by. The gang is having a movie night, would you like to come?"

Spike took his time painting her toes. The truth was, he didn't want her to go. He was worried Angel would show up with his stupid dark hair, charming personality, and a face that apparently many girls liked.

"Spike?" She said as he sat in silence.

"Could we maybe have the night alone together?" He looked up at her and she was taken back from the insecurity in his eyes.

"Sure, baby. Let me give them a call," she said as she ruffled his hair.

~~~

Spike did his best to keep her away from Angel and tried to keep it secretive. Spike wasn't sure how long Angel would be around but it had been a week too long. Y/N loved Spike so spending all the time with him wasn't a bad thing, but she was worried.

Spike was always confident and loved being seen by others. Even though Y/N hated it, he enjoyed the looks he got from women. He didn't get along with many of her friends but he never was this distant with them. Y/N worried something was going on and she was left in the dark about it.

The couple sat in silence as they watched Passions, even after a year of being with Spike she didn't see the appeal in the show. It had been a week since she left Spike's side. Anytime she made a comment to leave he went into a panic and begged her to stay. Adding to the worry she was feeling.

"Spike," Y/N said, nudging her boyfriend in the arm. His eyes dashed over to her. "Is there something going on between you and my friends? And I know you love me, but there's a reason why you don't want me to leave your side and I want to know."

"Darling, I have to confess something," Spike sighed.

"If you cheated on me I will have Buffy here to kill your ass in a second," Y/N warned. Her eyes squinting into a glare that sent a shiver down Spike's spine.

"Never!" he exclaimed. "Do you remember the stories of Buffy's ex Angel?"

"A little," Y/N said shrugging.

"He's a vampire and pretty much everyone fell in love with him when he was around. Buffy, Willow, and well Xander hated him like he does me, but they saw something good in him. It didn't matter how well-behaved I was, they always picked him for help. Whenever he is around, I'm not needed. I was worried his charm would work on you."

Y/N was in awe of Spike feeling a variety of emotions. She didn't think he felt much other than love and lust.

"You were worried I'd fall for him?" Y/N asked, reaching out to cup Spike's face.

Spike tried to show no emotion, "Not quite what I said. I mean look at me, I am way more of a catch." Y/N laughed at his words, allowing him to feel what he needed.

"Well, if you were saying that I'd make sure to say that I love you. I don't think there is anyone dead or alive that would make me feel the way you do. No one will take me from you." She leaned in and pressed her forehead against his.

He closed his eyes and nudged his nose against hers. Her words sank in and took the weight off his body. He opened his eyes and smiled as she stared at him. He leaned in and pressed a kiss against his lips.

~

With a lot of convincing sex, Y/N got Spike out of his cave. Her hand was in his as they walked into Buffy's house. The gang all said hello and Y/N noticed the new face.

She turned her head as she checked him out, Spike standing taller as he squeezed her hand. She shook her head and turned to Spike, moving to whisper in his ear. "Not even close."

Spike smirked at her words, his confidence taking over. "Well, Angel. I wish I would say nice to see you but it's not."

Angel scoffed but walked over, his eyes landing on the girl next to him. "She's new," Angel smiled. "Prettier than the last one."

Spike stiffened at Angel's words and the mention of Drusilla. The images of her and Angel together in his head were the exact reason he feared for Y/N to see him.

"I'm Y/N, Spike's girlfriend."

Spike smiled at her. Maybe he didn't need to worry about this one.

[boypied]

cookie time

[vampire prisoner] william "spike" pratt x male reader

summary: after buffy captured spike during one of their fights while she was patrolling, it is your turn to stay with him and keep an eye on him.

wc: 1.0k

notes: FDNI, MDNI, fluff, mentions of biting, mentions of blood sucking, fluff.

You wait outside of Giles' home as you wait for Buffy to come outside. You look down at the soft glow of the bricks as the sun that paints the floor. A small smile crosses your face. Buffy walks outside, adjusting her tote bag as she walks over to you, "I know you don't want to be left alone with him...but that was the deal, we all have to stay with him...just so it is fair." She says in her regular soft tone, slightly pleading with you, "I understand, " you say with a smile as you gently place your hand on her shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. Buffy reaches down into her tote bag, and she pulls out an extremely sharp wooden stake, handing it over to you. "If he breaks free or anything... just stake him, okay!" Buffy states to you as you take the stake from her grasp. Her perky tone flows through her voice as she says her goodbyes, and you watch her leave. You walk over to the door and take a deep breath before taking a step into the warmth of Giles' empty house and down the small hall and into the living room where you find Spike tied against a wooden dining chair.

You place your rucksack down in the corner of the room as you feel Spike's eyes burning into you as he watches from the chair. You nervously walk further into the living room, trying to avoid eye contact with the handsome century's old vampire. "You can't avoid eye contact the whole time." Spike grunts out as his eyes follow you around the room since his body cannot, "I can..." You mumble out shyly as you take a seat on the pillowy couch in front of him so that you don't have to face him. You listen to Spike's loud grunts as you hear the chair squeek as it travels along the floor, coming closer and closer to the couch, "Hey! Don't ignore me." he groans out in annoyance as you completely have been blanking him. You try to ignore his voice even though the british accent sends shivers of ecstasy down your body. You shake your head as you continue going strong until you hear a loud thump against the floor and Spike shriek out, "OW!" He groans out in pain as the chair toppled over.

You swiftly turn your head to see Spike laying on the floor while still attached to the chair, "Spike!" I gasp out in shock as I get up and move quickly round the couch, and I lean down to get closer to him. "Are you okay?!" I say in a shocked tone, Spike's eyes roll back slightly as he hears the very clear concern in your voice. "Yes. I'm fine. Just get me up." He grunts out in annoyance at your concern and lack of help from you, "Oh yeah." you say while chuckling nervously because of how close you are to a murderous vampire. You pull up his chair, and you exhale a deep breath after how heavy Spike is with the chair. "Oh, calm down! I'm not that heavy." Spike groans out as he watches you huff and puff over having to pull him up. "Sorry.." You say awkwardly as you step away from him. You notice how Spike is constantly grumpy looking, so you flash him a soft smile, and Spike tries to hold back from grinning to hide his smile from you he rests his head down to try his best to cover it from you.

You took notice of Spike's smile but decided it would be for the best that you didn't mention it, Spike brings his head back up and showcases his new stone-cold look to hide his smile. "Can I bite you?" Spike says, which causes your eyes to widen, and you choke on your spit. "w-what?" You mumble out in slight fear, which causes Spike to chuckle ever so slightly ."I mean... you just have such a lovely neck." He says in a more calm tone as he turns his head slightly to admire your neck, he licks his lips as he watches it pulsate as your body trembles. Your nervousness calms down when you re-evaluate the rope that is wrapped around his torso keeping him attached to the chair, "so...your hungry?" You mumble out with a small smirk that is growing on your face.

Spike's eyes widen in shock, "y-yeah." He mumbles out, still in complete shock that you're even considering giving him a taste of your delicious blood. He licks his lips as he can practically already taste your blood on his lips. He watches you walk into the kitchen, "He must be getting some blood out." Spike thinks to himself, the butterflies in his stomach flutter around faster and faster as he hears your footsteps get closer to him the excitement building up until he feels something soft get pushed into his mouth ever so slightly. You let out a chuckle as you walk past him, and you sit back down on the couch, Spike's eyes follow your body as you walk past him and slump down against the couch. You pick your magazine back up, and you continue flicking through it like you were before you were interrupted.

All the fear and nervousness you had slipped away in an instant as you turned your head to see the cookie stuffed in Spike's mouth, his hand reaches up to break it off as eat half of it. His eyes never leave yours until you turn back around, and he is practically burning holes into the back of your head. "Thanks for that," Spike says through a mouthful of cookie and in a grumpy tone as he was expecting you to bend over and let him bite your neck, "You're welcome!" you say as you turn to face him once more a small smile growing on your lips, see the smirk on your face causes Spike's stone-cold exterior to melt away slightly and his body warms to you. You turn back around to focus on your magazine once again but Spike continues to stare at the back of your head, slowly but surely becoming infatuated by you.

taglist ~ @starboye @mailmango @ghostking4m @kingchaospostsstuff @crispysoup318 @inhumanshadows @its-ares @gayaristocrat @cronasluvr @irlsamcarpenter @lucerothings1 @gaefaeyae @dqrkhold @sluttyhusband @sleep-0-deprived

[specialagentlokitty]

Giles x reader - happily married

Would you be up for a Giles married to reader who happens to be buffys aunt? - @sitkafay 💜

It had been a while since you had been in town, you had been away on work and all you wanted to do was go home, find your husband and go to sleep.

So, when you walked through the door of the house you set your bags down and looked around.

“Rupert?” You called.

You waited for an answer but there was none, so you grabbed your bags and took them upstairs, not even bothering to unpack them, all you did was go back down the stairs to put your jacket on the hook and made your way back upstairs.

You collapsed on the bed and let the jet lag take you to a much needed world of sleep, though it didn’t last as long as you hoped.

The door was thrown open, and you could hear the voices of people down the stairs.

“Giles?!” They called.

You furrowed your brows and grumbled a little, pulling the blanket of your head.

“Giles we need help!”

You pulled the blanket down, jumped out of bed at the sound of the voice.

Making your way to the stairs you walked halfway down them and looked at the small group of young adults standing in the living room.

“Well, look who we have here.” You grinned.

They all turned around and you grinned a little, making your way down the stairs.

“(Y/N)!”

Buffy wasted no time in running over crush you into a hug which you were more than happy to respond to.

You hugged her tightly, a smile on your face and you pulled away.

“My god Buffy, it’s been years since I saw you last, you’ve grown so much.”

She smiled.

“And you’ve gotten older.”

You playfully glared at you, and she grabbed your hand to lead you over to her friends and you smiled warmly at them all.

“Guys, this is my aunt (Y/N). You remember the one who was always travelling for work?”

Buffy then turned to you.

“(Y/N) this is Xander, Tara, Anya, Willow and that’s spike. We don’t like spike.”

You looked at the man who was eyeing you up down with a little grin on his face.

He went to step forward and was pushed back by Xander and he went to glare.

“Can’t a guy say hello now? Bloody unreasonable.” He grumbled.

“Not when it’s Buffy’s aunt you can’t, in fact you can’t ever, why are you ever here?”

They began to bicker.

“Children! Children!”

They all turned to you and you gestured for them all to sit down so they did.

Spike huffed and left the house.

“Why are you at Giles’ place?” Willow asked.

Buffy turned to you.

She gave you a sheepish look and you laughed a little, shaking your head at her.

“Please don’t..” she grumbled.

“Oh I’m so going to now.”

You turned to her friends and she jumped on you, covering mouth with her hand so you couldn’t say anything.

“Come on tell us!” Xander grinned.

“No! There’s nothing to tell!” Buffy yelled.

“Maybe she came looking for you?” Tara offered.

“Oh she definitely came looking for somebody else.” Anya smirked.

You carried on pretending to fight with your niece, until she finally gave in and let you go, giving you a pleading look.

You grinned a little and leant back in the chair, looking at her friends.

“So, what brings you guys by?”

“Do you know about demons?” Anya asked.

“Anya!” Willow hissed.

You laughed slightly.

“I know a bit, not much. I don’t think I’ll be much help to you.”

“Do you know where Giles is?” Tara asked.

You shook your head.

“I’ve been here a few hours maybe, I was asleep until you heard of elephants came bounding in.”

They grinned a little at you, and you looked at Buffy.

“Can we hang around until he gets back?”

“Yeah, of course. Just don’t break anything, now, I’m going back to sleep, you guys behave.”

You got up, hugging your niece you went to leave but she stopped you, and you looked at her, sighing softly.

Sitting back down on the chair, you let her squeeze herself next to you and you kicked your feet on the table.

“Go on then, tell me about all your adventures. If I fall asleep don’t take it personally I’m tired.”

So, that’s what they did.

They all excitedly told you everything that had been going on, especially Buffy who wanted you to know everything about everything she knew.

You knew about her being the slayer, and you were supportive of her just like her watcher was, you helped her when you could.

She loved telling you about her life, because you always just listened, no snide remarks or comments, no judging her choices or things she did, you just listened.

They got talking to themselves, and you had fallen asleep in the chair.

Buffy noticed this and shook your shoulder.

“Go to bed.”

You nodded, trudging back to bed and they carried on their discussion.

The door was opened and closed, and when Giles turned around he saw all eyes were on him.

“I’m going to change my locks, what on earth are you all doing here at this time?” He asked.

He looked at his watch to see it was early hours of the morning.

“Demons.” Anya said.

“Help.” Xander said next.

“Please?” Willow and Tara grinned.

He sighed, taking his jacket off he set it on the side and gestured for them to carry on while he went to the kitchen to make drinks.

He brought the tray out, setting it on the table.

“Well, it definitely sounds like demons, I’ll have to have a look through some books, but I’m pretty sure I know who these demons are, they’re rather easy to handle.”

They nodded and Buffy looked at him with a blank face.

“There’s something upstairs by the way, you might want to check that out.”

He furrowed his brows and handed the book to Willow, making his way up the stairs.

Turning the light on, he looked around and his gaze landed on the bed.

A wide smiled spread on his face, and he took his glasses off, setting them in his pocket as he made his way over, sitting on the bed he placed a hand on your shoulder.

“No…” you mumbled.

Giles leant down, gently pressing his lips to your forehead.

“Welcome home…”

You opened your eyes and you beamed a little at him, placing a hand on the back of his head so you could kiss him.

It was a kiss he happily responded too, placing his hand on the side of your face as he felt the feeling of your lips on his for the first time in months.

He pulled away and you sat up, shuffling over so you could tuck yourself against him in a hug.

He smiled, kissing your head a few times.

“You never said you were coming home..” he whispered.

“Wanted it to be a surprise, but the gang of heathens needed you help… and they woke me up…”

He chuckled a little at your disappointed tone.

“Well, I shall send them on their way, then you can go back to sleep darling.”

You shook your head, titling your head back to kiss his jaw.

“No.. it’s fine, help them.”

“Are you sure? I can ask them to come back, I don’t believe they would have an issue with that.”

You hummed a little as you stood up, stretching as you walked off.

Giles got up to follow you, and you stood near the wardrobe, looking for something more comfortable to wear.

With a little grin, he reached out, taking both your hands in his and turned you around, your back against the wall.

He let go of your hands, settling for cradling your face instead and you balled your hands into the fabric of his sweater as he leant down to kiss you again.

You didn’t want it to end, but when someone shouted his name he sighed and pulled away, giving you an apologetic look.

“I do love you, but if I don’t go down they’re going to come up.”

You laughed, patting his chest.

“Get, I’ll be down in a minute.”

He quickly kissed you before walking away and you found some more comfortable clothes to change into before following him.

You wondered into the kitchen to find something to eat, Buffy standing next to you to help raid the cupboards.

“Since your back now does this mean we can go shopping?” She asked.

“As in you want to spend your money or you want to spend my husbands money?”

She grinned.

“Your husbands.”

You hummed, glancing into the living before turning back to her.

“How long until they find out?” She asked.

She was trying to keep it a secret because she knew he friends would never let her live down the fact that her watcher, and old librarian was in fact her uncle.

“I’m gonna go with not long.”

She furrowed her brows and you pointed to Anya.

“She’s seen his wedding ring.”

“I don’t know how they haven’t noticed it before.” Buffy said.

Anya whispered something to Tara, who whispered to Willow who passed it on to Xander.

You walked into the living room, sitting back in your chair as you flicked through some books, silence taking over for a while.

But of course it never lasted.

“Giles!”

In an instant both yours and your husbands head shot up to face the boy who had just shouted in shock.

“What?” You both asked.

“Oh my god they are married!” Willow squealed.

Buffy hid her face and you laughed while Giles turned away in embarrassment.

“Buffy’s watcher is her uncle!” Xander laughed.

You reached up, placing your hand on your husbands, and he looked at you with a smile.

“How does it feel knowing you’re never going to escape him Buffy? You’re stuck with him now.” Anya said.

“Okay I’m going home!”

She ran towards the door while he friends ran after her.

“Congratulations Giles!” They yelled.

The house became empty and Giles sighed, sitting on the arm of the chair and you rested your head against his side.

“I’m never living this down, am I? They’re going to taunt me about this for the rest of my life.”

“Ouch, am I really that bad?” You teased.

He smiled, standing up and offered you his hand which you took so you could stand up.

“Nothing could ever compare to how perfect you are dear.”

“You’re such a suck up Rupert.”

He grinned a little.

“Isn’t that why you fell in love with me? That and I am ruggedly handsome if I say so myself, with a rather charming British accent.”

“I’m sorry, would you like to marry yourself?”

He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around you waist, and you wrapped yourself around his shoulders.

“I love you.” He whispered.

You leant up, brushing your lips against his.

“I love you too.”

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

AN: Yes, I chose this particular episode on purpose and yes, I used Spike's rant. You can catch up with the previous installments here, here, and here.

Warnings: cursing, arguments, insults, angst, mentions of betrayal, violence, and injury, and spoilers for Buffy season 7.

Tagging: @rmoonstoner and @queenofthehobos.

“What is her purpose here?” Kennedy snarled at Willow, pointing at you and talking as if you weren't in the room after you, Spike, and Andrew had returned.  All you had done was ask where Buffy was.

“Back the hell off Kennedy,” Faith warned.

“No, I want to know what she contributes.”

“Right because (Name)’s been sitting up in the bedroom watching Passions and eating snacks all this time while you risk your lives.”  Spike scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“She might as well have been.  She walks around like Buffy critiquing us and doing nothing!  She disappears when we need her only to reappear when the fight’s over!”

“For the past six years, I have been keeping Ares’ forces out of Sunnydale,” you explained icily.

“And you’ve done such a great job of it!  The god has been sighted all over the place!”

“If you’ve only sighted him, it means I’m doing my job!”

“That’s just your fancy way of saying you’re sleeping with the god.”

The kitchen went deathly quiet at her words.

“I am not one to sleep with another just because of the power and influence they wield, Kennedy. Especially when I am in a relationship with someone else.”

“Perhaps we should--”

“She’s exactly the same as Buffy.  She needs to go.”

“Is that what you did?”  Spike asked venomously, “You lot conspired to push her out of her own house?”

“Let me tell you a little something about your girlfriend.  She was always on our backs and whatever we did it wasn’t good enough!”  Kennedy shouted.

“Because Buffy has been through Apocalypses before, you nit!”

“So that justifies treating us as if we don’t have any say in our destiny and not letting us have any fun?”

“Don’t you get it?  Every win for the First is a loss for you!” You exploded.  Your eyes scanned the room and you noticed Xander wearing an eyepatch that he had definitely not worn before you left.  Realising what must have happened, you spoke again with a softer tone.

“Xander.  The way you were maimed is horrible.  No one is arguing that point.  If you want to blame someone, blame Caleb.  Blame the First.  Do not blame Buffy because I know she gave you an out before you faced the First’s forces and Caleb.”

“She needs to go.”  Kennedy repeated. 

“Right now she is the only thing standing between you and Ares, you dolt.  Rupert, are you going to sit and watch this happen again?”

“He didn’t intervene then.  Why would he intervene now?”  Kennedy rebutted.  Rupert wouldn’t meet your eyes.   While you could understand that the Hellmouth amplified evil and emotions, Buffy saw Rupert as a father figure.  To hear that he had sat by and done nothing while Buffy left the only safe place she knew made your heart ache.

“You sad, sad ungrateful traitors.  Who do you think you are?!”  Spike demanded.

“We're her friends.  We just want-” Willow stammered, looking to you for help.

Spike chuckled mercilessly, “Oh that's ballsy of you!  You're her friends and you betray her like this?!”

Finally, Rupert tried to speak, “You don't understand-”

“That’s going to go over well with Spike.  You haven’t even shown a shred of concern for Buffy’s welfare or asked us about her whereabouts, Rupert.”  You thought, “How did everything fall apart so quickly?”

Spike was quick to reply to Rupert’s weak attempt at justifying their actions, “Oh, I think I do...Rupert.  You used to be the big man, didn't you?  The teacher all full of wisdom.  Now she's surpassed you, and you can't handle it.  She has saved your lives again and again.  She's died for you.  And this is how you thank her?!  This is how you thank both of them?  You sit by while Kennedy insults the woman that you supposedly love knowing full well what she’s done to protect the lot of you?!”

“We should go Spike.  Staying here and arguing with people who don’t want to admit they’ve done the wrong thing isn’t going to help us find Buffy.”

Spike said nothing but followed you to the front door.  You could feel the eyes of the potentials on you as the two of you walked out with your heads held high.  Spike sniffed the air when the two of you stood at the end of the footpath, “Got her scent.”

“This is another one of those times that I’m grateful you’re a vampire.  It’s only one of a small handful of times.”

Spike jerked his head, “We go that way.”

“Oh, my darling.  Can you see now how easily humans betray one another?”

[tenderjock]

don't let it in with no intention to keep it au, p3

"Hey, Will! Wait up!"

Riley and Forrest turn at the sound of the motorcycle's approach, Riley's face breaking into an automatic grin when he hears Buffy's voice. Forrest nearly overbalances the dolly stacked high with beer. Willow, who they had been walking to the party along with her roommate, turns as well.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow says. "We thought we were gonna see you at Lowell House. We were just walking there now."

Buffy looks very sexy in a little halter top thing under a leather jacket. Riley notices that for about one second and then he notices the guy driving the motorcycle that Buffy just climbed off of the back of.

"Yeah, we were on the way over but we had to stop to fight some - uhm, to stop a fight," Buffy is saying to Willow. "To stop a fight! There were some men, and they looked like they were going to fight, so we stopped them. From fighting."

Willow's roommate Tara, a pretty, quiet girl in the Lesbian Pride Alliance group, says, "Oh! Oh, that - that sounds upsetting."

The guy isn't someone Riley's seen around campus or around town before: a Caucasian male, late twenties, maybe 5'9'', bleached platinum blond hair, light-colored eyes, scar in left eyebrow, piercing in right, several identifying tattoos on his neck, upper chest, arms, and hands - nothing explicitly gang-related, Riley notes, but the overall picture screams bad news.

Bad News is also painfully, razor wire thin, which in combination with the bruise-dark circles under his eyes and the way he's only wearing a thin, ratty t-shirt and ripped acid wash jeans despite the chilly SoCal night air makes Riley think habitual drug user, too. He doesn't see needle tracks, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

The other thing Riley's trying not to notice about Bad News is that the guy is, for a skinny-ass pasty semi-goth punk, kinda hot. And that some girls go for that sort of look.

"It wasn't bad," Buffy reassures Tara. "We just gave 'em a stern talking-to."

Riley meets the man's gaze square on. He doesn't look away, even when most people would - and listen, Riley's a big guy, muscular, and he's got a friendly type of face but he's not a friendly type of guy, generally speaking. He knows how to intimidate people, and right now, this motherfucker is looking at Agent Finn with a little smirk curling up his mouth like he'd love to get popped one right in the jaw.

Neither of them are wearing helmets. That's against the law, in California. Technically, Riley has the authority to cite them for it. He's trying to decide whether his immediate gut reaction to beat the shit out of this guy is worth potentially sinking his chances with the girl he's crushing on, when Forrest cuts in.

"Hey, Buffy," Forrest says, nodding friendily and subtly digging an elbow into Riley's ribs. "Who's your friend?"

Riley looks down at his feet and takes a deep breath. Gets a fucking grip on himself. Jesus Christ, Finn.

"This is Spike," Buffy says. There's a beat where everyone waits for the introduction to continue.

When it doesn't, Tara offers a little wave and says, "Hello, Spike."

"'Lo," Spike says. He smiles at her, a bit. "Pleasure t'make your acquaintance."

He's English? And what the hell kind of a name is Spike?

Before Riley can ask any of the pressing questions, Buffy says brightly, "So, we're all walking to Lowell then? I think the party's already started, and they're gonna need that beer." She points to the dolly stacked with cases that Forrest has all but forgotten about.

Spike revs the motorcycle engine and pulls away from the curb. "Give us a ring if you need to be picked up, luv," he says.

"I'll prob'ly walk," she tells him. He shrugs. "But thanks."

The five of them start walking again. They fall into a short little line; Forrest goes first with the beer, Willow and Tara following, and Riley and Buffy bring up the rear.

Riley tries to organize his thoughts. After a few minutes of walking in silence - bewildered and tense on his part, placidly innocent on Buffy's - he says, "How - can I ask a question?"

"Ask away!" she says, blinking up at him prettily. A lock of hair has come loose from her updo and is falling into her face. Riley resists the urge to push it behind her ear.

"How do you know that guy Spike?" At her immediate frown, he rushes to expain: "He just doesn't seem like the kind of person you'd know in your life."

Buffy thinks about that for a while, walking with her arms folded across her ribcage. "You don't really know much about my life," she points out, not ungently. Riley feels his brow furrow. "But, yeah, I guess he doesn't." She grows quiet again, not like she's not answering, but like she's considering her answer.

"You don't have to tell me," he says. They're outside Lowell House at this point, just across the street. He looks to Forrest, who has stopped at the front door to offload the beer.

Forrest gives him an all clear? Riley nods, and his brother slips into the house, which is pumping with music and booze and quite a few people already. Buffy smiles and waves to Willow and Tara, who are doing the same thing Forrest just did but without the military hand signals.

Willow casts one last glance back at her friend, then takes her roommate's hand and enters the house, leaving Riley and Buffy outside alone. The air is still and cool and dry; in the distance, an owl screeches. Buffy's hair looks soft and golden in the low moonlight.

"We met while I was in high school," Buffy says. "He was - we didn't really get along." She laughs. "That's an understatement. But he ended up helping me with something ... something really important, something that saved people's lives. Like, that level of important. And this summer, he came back to Sunnydale after being gone for like a year, and he needed help. So I did what I could."

"What did he need help with?" Riley asks.

"Well," Buffy says. "He needed a place to stay, that was part of it."

"He lives with you?" Riley says, shocked.

Buffy nods her head. "He's living in my mom's basement."

"He lives with your mom?!" Riley wouldn't let that asshole anywhere near his mother. Jesus Christ.

Buffy giggles, actually giggles! "Yeah, Mom loves him, she thinks he's really sweet. They gossip together all the time. Dawn - my little sister Dawn - she has a total crush on him, it's so funny."

That's it. The Summers family must be made up of crazy people.

"Anyway, Spike mostly hangs out in our basement and works out or reads or does, like, the gross chores no one else wants to do," Buffy says. "And he drives me around, 'cause I commute to school, at least if it's - uhm, if it's, like, late at night? And not safe, you know, to walk."

There's several things Riley could say to that. What he settles on, eventually, is, "You should really wear a helmet if you're gonna ride a motorcycle."

Buffy blinks at him. "Oh," she says. "Okay, sure." She mostly sounds like she's humoring him, not like she's agreeing with him.

"It's just," he starts, and breaks off. It's been a weird night, and it's barely ten p.m. The girl he likes is out here tucked against his arm, talking to him about the mysterious Sid Vicious junkie guy that lives with her, who ferries her around on the back of his motorcycle at all hours of the night like her personal taxi service, who is also someone she's known since she was a teenager, apparently, and who she's saved people's lives alongside.

Riley blows out a long breath.

"It's just safer," he says. "For everyone."

Buffy's eyes soften. "Okay," she says. "You wanna go in to the party now? I hear they have mediocre, lukewarm beer."

"I hear someone dropped it and got it all shook up while they were carrying it here," Riley says, and takes her hand to lead her into Lowell.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Something I might get thrown out of the fandom for: Buffy is really frustrating me in season seven (as I go through it again, but by reading it this time in the "Chosen" novelization, that is actually a novelization of the entire season). And before anyone comes at me, this isn't me bashing her. Also, Buffy is my favorite character in the series, so I feel like I'm allowed to say this.

But back to my point, I feel like she frustrated me some the first time I watched the season, too, but I think I somehow tampered down those emotions, because things like her being thrown out of her own house (that will forever be stupid) made me feel like the others were moreso in the wrong.

And this whole thing... I feel like it's not an easy issue. Or that you can really say that one side is more in the right or wrong than the other is, as I definitely get where both sides are coming from.

I also understand now, as I think many fans do, that I think Buffy is partly supposed to be wrong this season (at least in some ways). Like, she's surely saying and doing all the right things to help them win this war, yes. But in doing so, she's forgotten what it was like to be in the Potentials' shoes, when she was a sixteen-year-old girl facing down her Watcher and a Prophecy about her fate, throwing books at said Watcher and telling him she didn't want to die. Buffy's almost like the Watchers' Council to the Potentials in this season, which is something that should never happen and partly why she realizes that she needs to share the Slayer power by the end of it, not have it all herself.

But I definitely think she's making the wrong calls about Spike... and it grinds my gears to watch. Her emotions are clouding her judgement, and I just- I feel like the Buffy of old would have never done this. Ugh! I hate to make comparisons, but I'm sorry. Buffy was never this stupid when it came to Angel. As she said in S3 about him, "I'd never put you guys in danger. If I thought Angel was going to hurt anyone--" But meanwhile, with Spike, he's a sleeper agent liability, that she knows well about, and she does nothing and leaves him with the girls as a danger to them?! Even preferring it that way?! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spike has a soul now and needs a chance to prove himself, but save that until after this fight. For now, send him away, like even Spike has thought was best to do! I swear! Also, Spike's needed muscle according to Buffy, which is one of the reasons she wants him there. But, honestly, at least where I'm at in this book... the points where Buffy is saying that, he's maybe helped in two fights? And, you know, if these shows weren't so adamant about keeping the two apart for no good reason, Buffy could call Angel for a little extra demon muscle: someone who is much safer, as he's not a sleeper agent for the First. Well, he's safe this season during the parts when he's not Angelus, anyway.

I also can't believe that Spike almost killed Robin and Buffy was somehow okay with this, took Spike's side, and said that if Robin came after Spike again, she'd let him kill him. Uhh, Buffy: your whole thing as the Slayer is supposed to be about protecting humans?! And the reasons they gave for this just really didn't work for me. Oh. She needs Spike's muscle to help win the war against the First, so she can't accept Robin having a personal vendetta against Spike right now. And while she and Giles are arguing about Spike, she's pretty much saying even with the Spike and Robin going on right now, he's surely not a danger and would never hurt Robin... and then she finds out she's wrong about that. And that he beat up Robin something fierce. And Spike confirms that he let him go only because of what he did to Nikki, but if he comes after him again, he'll kill him, and Buffy still acts like she did? I can't. I just can't. I just really feels like the writers of the show were on a super S*puffy shipping kick and lost all sense. I could go even further with this, but I won't.

There's also a part of me that feels that Buffy was maybe wrong with how she treated the Potentials (which I got into above, a little bit). I wanted to get into how she acted after Chloe's death (and how I agree with parts of it and not with others), but now I don't know if I feel like it, so I spent so much on other things here. Maybe another day.

Like, I do get why she needed them to shape up, because otherwise they would be dead. It's not a slumber party. And Giles' need to coddle them at first is frustrating, when he never did that for her and as Buffy says, they're the next generation. If she or Faith dies, which they very well could in this fight, they need to be able to carry the torch.

But as I said above, Buffy is forgetting how wrong all of this is and what it was like for her when she didn't want any of this, and is not taking their feelings and trauma into account enough.

And... there's a side of me that wasn't sure if I thought taking the Potentials into battle--at least as often as Buffy wanted to do--was a good idea. Because, yes: they have some slight powers and are the next generation. But they're not fully-fledged Slayers with all the powers like she and Faith are. And aren't we trying to keep these girls alive to keep the Slayer line alive? Taking them into a lot of battles increases the chance of losing them? Though I also understand that Buffy was trying to train them (and take out the First's armies), but she could also do that through patrolling and stuff. But I do patrolling is not exactly the same as real life experience in huge fights.

But in that vein... I'm also thinking the girls complaining so much that Buffy is crazy for taking them out like that, and that they came there for protection, is unfounded. When, again, they're the next generation (and, I know: they never asked for it). But people like Xander and Dawn with no powers have been out fighting the good fight for years, even younger than the Potentials are now. Yes, the threat has never been this big, but still.

Like I said, there's no easy answer here and it's all a huge mess, until Buffy shares the power.

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-watch: S2E7 (part 1)

Lie to me

Playground equipment moving in the wind, not unsettling at all. How many horrors feature this type of thing at the beginning of their films or TV shows?

Then Drusilla comes in, stalks and tries to kidnap a child to amp up the creepy. Well done.

Angel appears and he and Dru have history, which makes sense because if he knew Spike, he would know Dru. We find out later what their real connection is and whoa boy, it is a doozy.

The kicker here is that Buffy sees it all. Doesn't take a genius to work out that they know each other.

Hold on! Giles, wants Buffy to have the night off? Did he get replaced by an alien? Or did he finally listen to his slayer about having a healthy work/life balance?

Passing notes in class. Something I never did in school. I didn't do a lot of things in school. God, my time at school was shit. This is not a new realisation, just remembering.

An old friend of Buffy's appears, probably one of the few she has left from LA, Billy Fordham.

If you have never heard the Divinyls song 'I touch myself' take 3 guesses as to what it's about and the first 2 don't count. This song was also famously used in 'Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery' in the scene where he dance fights the fembots towards the end of the film.

Willow's realisation as to the meaning of the song steals the scene for me.

Angel, honey, sweetie, learn to tell your sort of girlfriend the truth. Things would go much easier if you did.

Ford knows Buffy is the slayer. Buffy keeping being the slayer a secret identity is on par with James Bond keeping secret that he is a spy. Both of them are shit at it.

Mysterious club with very heavy metal doors? Never a good sign. And oh look, vampire wannabes.

Ford taking meds and wanting to turn into a vampire. Hmm, me thinks something is up.

Angel appearing again, but at Willow's house because he rightfully thinks Ford is being sus, and Willow confirms this with the school having no record of him having transferred.

Giles understands that Ford is cute, and that Buffy thinks he is too.

Ford came prepared, he has that going for him, but is still sus.

So, the entire club is made up of delusional people who believe that vampires are fluffy bunnies, and that they are really just misunderstood. Not in this universe they aren't. Hell, Angel and Spike while ensouled can still turn into rage machines if the occasion calls for it. They don't even know that one of the most feared vampires in history is standing right in front of them, that would be terrifying to know. To which I now have to ask, is there much in the way of vampires being good? There's Hellsing where Alucard and Seras are good, Blade from the Marvel comics, Alucard from Castlevania (loved the Netflix series by the way and looking forward to the next one), Underworld has Selene. Are there any others? And not just one or two of them, but where vampires as a whole are the good guys?

Jenny took Giles to go see Monster Trucks... I need to see that.

That angry mob in Prague did a shite job of killing Dru, since she is still walking around.

Dru is referred to as a 'sometime paramour of Spike's' does that mean they have an on-again-off-again relationship or just a very long term one? Because either is sort of believable, especially with how Dru can be.

Genuine question: do I come across as sarcastic in these posts? Because when I read through my notes in my head I definitely sound sarcastic, same when typing. I'm just curious.

Anyway, part 2 will be tomorrow.

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

Funny how Joyce was "concerned" about Bangel yet was besties with Spike. And I wonder if Buffy knew she's part of the reason they broke up

Oh, I have so many thoughts on this.

First of all, Joyce is just... so stupid. She's so so so stupid and has zero intuition or even basic common sense. She has no idea what's going on ever but is always so sure she knows what's best-- the absolute worst kind of stupid person. Her immediate, unwavering trust in a vampire her daughter sometimes reluctantly worked with but was CLEARLY hostile to and distrustful of is only one example of this.

Also, like... in the months Buffy was gone, did Joyce really never ask anyone for a basic rundown of what had been happening in the last year to lead to the world almost literally ending? And she also never asked Buffy when she came home? Because even the vaguest outline of the events of S2 would have made it inescapably clear that Spike was not on the home team when he showed up at her house in Lover's Walk.

Imagine finding out vampires and demons are real, and your teenage daughter is a superhero who fights them with the help of her friends and a librarian... and having no follow-up questions. No desire to understand any of it. Putting aside the fact that that's a whole new level of apathetic parenting, it's also a whole new level of being a useless twit.

As for going behind Buffy's back to tell Angel to leave her... where to even start? I could go on for ages on all the reasons it was a completely unacceptable thing to do, but what really stands out is that once again it's so painfully obvious that Joyce does not know or respect her daughter at all. It's also incredibly galling that Joyce thinks Buffy is the feeble minded waif who can't see beyond her feelings or make the hard decisions.

Joyce, who almost married an evil robot, who cannot grasp any concept that's even remotely foreign to her, who has never met a trick she wouldn't fall for or a situation she couldn't utterly misinterpret, who buried her head in the sand for years rather than face reality, threw a tantrum when that wouldn't work anymore, then blamed absolutely everyone but herself for the consequences of it... thinks Buffy is too immature and weak to make her own life choices. And the sad thing is, she wouldn't recognize the irony in that if you gave her an hour long PowerPoint presentation.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Wednesday, May 11

ANGEL: You ever miss it? You were turned, what... 5 years ago? HARMONY: Oh, that. Yeah. Graduation night. I don't know. It's weird. Part of me always knew life would end after high school. I was very popular, you know. The whole golden years thing. ANGEL: I don't remember what it was like... being human. It was too long ago. HARMONY: (shrugs) Not so great. Zits. Dandruff. Mortality. Although I do remember... my heart. (smiles) And the way it would thump when I kissed a really hot boy for the first time. That was cool. Angel? Something's going down, isn't it? And everybody's in on it except me. ANGEL: You're not a part of this. HARMONY: I could be. I'm your assistant, after all. I could, I don't know... assist you or something.

~~Not Fade Away~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor. Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here.

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Hanging Around by badly_knitted (Buffy, Cordelia, Tom, Machida, PG)

Just Another Lie by NAOA (Connor, Fred/Gunn, T)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Sineya Rambles - Chapter 1-3 by desicat (Sineya, eventual Buffy/Spike, M)

Stronger than Destiny (Stronger series: part 11) by jayme_stone (Stargate Atlantis crossover, Scoobies, G)

Rise, Ch. 10 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Creative Solutions, Ch. 8 by Harlow Turner (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

So One of Us is Living, Ch. 27 by violettathepiratequeen (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Sineya Rambles, Ch. 1-3 by Desicat (Sineya, eventual Buffy/Spike, R)

Sineya Rambles, Ch. 3 by Desicat (Sineya, eventual Buffy/Spike, R)

Postcards and Snapshots, Ch. 12 by TheSunnySlayer (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Sparks, Ch. 7 by Dusty (Buffy/Spike/Angel, NC-17)

The Home Invasions, Ch. 28 by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Dawn the Vampire Slayer, Ch. 9 by LJ94 (Buffy/Spike, R)

Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Ch. 5 by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, R)

One Step Away, Ch. 4 by flootzavut (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

In Which the Potentials Time Travel and are Greatly Befuddled, Ch. 1 by FlightsofFancy (Buffy/Spike, R)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Anya and Halfrek gifset by andremichaux (worksafe)

Gifset: Bangel Crossovers by bangelgifs (Buffy/Angel, worksafe)

Mermay comic: day 7 and 8 by malvymary (Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

"Touched" gifs by spuffygifs (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Buffy-inspired outfits by alottaoutfits (Buffy, worksafe)

Banner: Strong is fighting! by leybrain (Buffy, worksafe)

Buffy/Spike collage by mayorsquid (probably worksafe)

Video: an animatic about watching BtVS by noname-nonartist ()

Buffy Summers, a glitter edit by violetbudd (worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

watched the first 2 episodes of angel s5 and it's already so different by elliebartlets

Buffy season 6! by tuiyla

Pop Culture Role Call: Visions of Dushku - Angel S04E15 - Orpheus

[Fandom Discussions]

Kennedy and Rona deserve more love (and other ask responses) by juanabaloo

rationalist yimby btvs au where the popularity of single family houses... by tanadrin

Could Willow have saved Fred? by nightshade and others

What's your head canon on why The First Evil couldn't or didn't pose as Tara to manipulate Willow? by Joshua and others

Wesley's time as Buffy's watcher by Zealousideal_Buy1577 and others

Tara's Powers by LiviaDruzilla

Angel Season 1: Leaving Childhood Behind - by Andrew Heard

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[afteriwake]

April & Poetry

So this is an old BtVS that's Spike/Slayer!OFC. I thought, considering the title and the OFC's name, it was appropriate to post it in April. Enjoy!

April & Poetry - He loved April, and she loved him, forsaken demon that he was.

READ @ AO3

"She was lovely. So very lovely." Spike stood in front of the gathered people. "And I loved her very much. You have no idea how much I had loved her. You never even guessed. April...in every way, she was beautiful. And vibrant. And I've always wondered what she saw in a forsaken demon like me." He shook his head. "I never figured out why she loved me, why she stayed. Why she went to hell and back to save me."

Buffy looked at him. "Why are you telling us this?" she asked quietly.

"Because...just because."

---

It was April. And in Southern California, April said it was so warm. Not like I'd ever know. She loved spring, loved summer, relished the thought of being outside, in the sun. And how I wished I could see her! I hadn't wanted to fall in love again, not after Dru. Not when I still hurt. But April...

I'd gone to San Diego State one evening, just to stroll around. And I heard the voice of an angel reciting poetry. It was a poem by Sara Teasdale, and I've always remembered it. It was called "I Shall Not Care." How did it go? Oh, yes.

When I am dead and over me bright April Shakes out her rain-drenched hair, Though you shall lean above me broken-hearted, I shall not care.

I shall have peace, as leafy trees are peaceful When rain bends down the bough; And I shall be more silent and cold-hearted Than you are now.

I've always thought that poem was a strange one, but eerily descriptive. And April stood there, the moonlight flowing over her, softly illuminating her face, which at the moment was bunched up in frustration.

"What's wrong, love?" I had said, startling her.

Papers went flying, and she scowled. We went down to pick them up and ended up hitting our heads. It was one of the classic scenes in all those romantic movies. After we hunted down the papers and stopped rubbing our heads, the scowl had disappeared. She had the most beautiful eyes, a pale blue. Almost like the ocean, only lighter. She was nothing like Dru. Nothing at all. She was a freshman there, about to give a dramatic interpretation of that and some other poems, like Dickinson's "The Grass" and Poe's "El Dorado."

Her main piece, though was from Anne Sexton. I'd had the pleasure of meeting her once. She was a very interesting woman. Have you ever heard "Her Kind?" No? Well, April taught it to me.

I have gone out, a possessed witch, haunting the black air, braver at night; dreaming evil, I have done my hitch over the plain houses, light by light; lonely thing, twelve fingered, out of mind.

A woman like that is not a woman, quite. I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods, filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves, closets, silks, inumerable goods; fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves: whining, rearranging the disaligned. A woman like that is misunderstood. I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your car, driver, waved my nude arms at villages going by, learning the last bright routes, survivor where your flames still bite my thigh and my ribs crack where your wheels wind. A woman like that is not ashamed to die. I have been her kind.

And it was that moment she pulled a stake out. I should have realized she was a Slayer.

I held her off. Fighting Buffy so often, I'd gotten good at it. It was easy. I went for her weak spots, which were quite noticeable to me. And I got her on the ground, with me on top of her, her own stake aimed at her heart. I couldn't kill her. And we both knew it. So I kissed her instead. After getting over the initial shock, she reciprocated. Her mouth felt so warm. I can still feel that warmth. I need that warmth, now. We stayed on the ground, kissing passionately, all through her class. She failed the project, but she believed she got something better.

So, Buffy, you no longer hold the distinction of being the only Slayer in love with a vampire.

You're just the only surviving one.

---

A year went by.

I betrayed my kind, helped her fight. And at night, we'd return to her apartment. It was beautiful, in a gothic sense. I loved her bedroom. It was a room with lots of wrought iron candle holders, candles, fresh roses every other day, courtesy of me. And a mahogany vanity. She never let me touch the vanity, not even as I helped her pack to move to London.

We were moving to London, her and I. Together. I had never been so happy. And when we arrived, it was wonderful. Evenings spent slaying vampires, killing my own kind and keeping my lover safe. Mornings spent stroking her hair as we lay in bed, me listening to the slow beat of her heart and the even breathing. Afternoons spent being like two normal humans in love, excepting when she had to go to meet her Watcher. It went on like that for a long time. Three years. Three wonderfully blissful years.

It was in January when things started going wrong. The vampires were getting stronger, and she was losing more fights. Not that they would kill her...I would step in. And she started sleeping more, having less energy. I got concerned, and together, we went to the doctor.

I waited outside while she was examined. But I was holding her hand when the doctor frowned. Holding her hand when he told her she had cancer. Holding her hand when he said it was incurable. Holding her hand when he said she had less than six months to live. Holding her as she wept when he said he was sorry. He suggested she try chemo and radiation...it might prolong her life span. But she said no, she didn't want that. And as we left, she said she didn't want to be turned either.

It was the first time, in almost four years, that we'd ever fought. I mean really fought. I walked away from it with more bruises from her than from anything I'd ever fought before. And I looked in a few minutes later, to see her sobbing in a heap.

My poor April.

I couldn't bear to watch it. I picked her up, and carried her into our room, lit the candles, and held her, singing softly until her sobbing stopped and she was at peace.

---

She was fading fast. We had found out in the first week of January. By Valentine's Day, she was getting so weak she could barely stand. And when she could, the pain coursed through her, and I could tell. I could feel it as well. Only two weeks later, she had regained some of her strength. Never before had I believed in miracles. But to this day, I believe she was blessed with that month or so. We even started planning for the future again. Only a few days ahead, you understand. Not like weeks, or months, or years. But we planned a party, for her birthday. Her 21st birthday, just her and I. A milestone in her life. One I'm glad she got to see.

When she'd been taken off active slaying duties, her friends stopped coming by, as did her Watcher. That, more than anything else, infuriated me. I was her only company.

I was the only one who truly loved her.

The night before her birthday, we were talking. We had the best conversation as we laid next to each other, our lust sated but our love for each other shining through. And the topics raged from how we were feeling to what I should make her to eat. But I loved those little conversations. I miss them a lot.

That night, I told her about Dru. About the madness, the manipulation, things I'd never told her before. I'd been afraid she wouldn't understand. And now, I was afraid she would die. Her strength had started to leave again. I just wanted her to live long enough to hit the milestone, and have one more special memory. She was suffering. It was so very obvious. But that night, she told me I was what kept her going. I was what kept her alive. I had never known that.

We slept early, so we could be awake early in the morning. And when I shook her gently, her eyes opened, and she smiled at me, a small, delighted smile. I made her stay in bed. She was too weak to fight anyway. I brought her her presents, and she opened them so carefully. And I made sure I had pictures. I wanted to see the happiness, wanted to have physical proof that it existed.

Here they are, You're welcome to look through them. She was beautiful, wasn't she? Even when she was that sick, she was still so very beautiful. And she loved the presents. They were simple, just like her. A book of poetry, her favorite chocolates, and a ring. The ring surprised her the most. It was just a simple silver band, with thin gold crossing patterns on the top. She slipped it on her finger. It was a perfect fit. We were a perfect fit.

She died that evening. I knew when it happened. She kissed me lightly, then drifted back to sleep. I felt he grow cold, heard her heart stop and her breathing lessen until it was gone. And then, I sobbed. I didn't go on a rampage, I didn't destroy anything. I kept everything intact. I always want to be reminded of her. Always.

And on her grave is her favorite poem. She scribbled a note, before she died, saying she wanted the poem inscribed on her tombstone.

It was April when you came The first time to me, And my first look in your eyes Was like my first look at the sea. We have been together Four Aprils now Watching for the green On the swaying willow bough;

Yet whenever I turn To your gray eyes over me, It is as though I looked For the first time at the sea.

She died four years to the day we met. She's buried in San Diego, where the sun can shine down on her most of the year. I still live in London, in our home. I can't bear to leave it yet, to leave her.

I just can't.

[hello-nichya-here]

Thanks for your post calling out the hypocrisy in how people talk about Angel versus Spike both in universe and in the fandom! It’s also worth noting that Angel actually stalked Buffy while he had a soul, while she was still underage, and to a far greater and creepier extent that Spike (without his soul) ever did.

Oh God, I had forgotten about that! Yikes!

It's really weird how the writers and part of the fandom always go "Having no soul/being deeply affected for the time he spent without a soul is no excuse for the things Spike did" (which is 100% true) and then bend over backwards to just excuse, ignore and/or justify Angel doing 90% of the same things.

Honestly, I'd like Angel a lot more if the writting acknowledged that in many ways he IS a bad person, but genuinely wanted to change and eventually DID change.

But that's not the route they went with him - and since Spike's arc DID go that way with him straight up fighting to get his soul back so he'd never hurt the woman he loved again, and they let Buffy call him out on his bad behavior instead of just putting up with it, or being guilted into apologizing despite being the wronged party (seriously, fuck Riley, dude managed to be worse than Angel), I just naturally went from "Spike is my favorite character on the show because he is an excellent villain" to "I will ship him and Buffy in hell"

Also come on, how can I care about any other ship for Buffy when they're not gonna have a violent fight turning into rough sex that destroys an entire house because there's THAT MUCH pent up sexual tension and passion between them? Can't give me the absolute best, take it away, and then expect me to not want it back.

[prose-for-hire]

Kiss me quick

Pairing: Spike x Summers!reader

Request: Hi! Can I request a Spike x Summers!reader, where the reader is trying to keep their relationship on the downlow since none of the Scoobies really approve, but after a big win the reader finally kisses him in front of everyone, proving that they do care deeply for one another and everyone just has to accept it.

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Reader gets injured but nothing serious. sex references/implication of sex.

You looked out into dimly lit street, the dark had surrounded you now but ever since you had been meeting this way you couldn’t help but smile whenever the sun began to descend from the sky. You were stood, under a streetlamp, three streets away from your house. Just far enough where nobody from your household would catch you meeting him this way. You had been meeting like this for a while now.

He got a kick out of coming up behind you and immediately pressing you against the nearest wall and crashing his lips to yours. His favourite greeting entailed leaving you breathless and ready to pull him closer no matter what your surroundings were. He often mumbled his hellos through stolen kisses. His passion never died, he was all in. Completely yours.

You couldn’t shake this feeling. That you were completely in love. You had silently tried to fight it to begin with, knowing that those around you wouldn’t approve. That Spike himself may not even reciprocate your feelings. But soon it became clear that there was no hiding these feelings that always bubbled to the surface whenever he was near.

You had started fooling around to begin with, before it all changed. For the better, both of you agreed. Your feelings had taken hold of you both, fuelled by the touch of skin. The depth of mind. Unspoken emotions kept the two of you in a chokehold before you finally spilled your feelings for the other.

Ever since you quit college, you had spent all of your free time sneaking around with Spike. It was, honestly, as thrilling as it was annoying. As much as you wished you could just tell everyone how much you loved Spike - how amazing he was with you, you couldn’t. You had to hide it, the implications of your friends and sisters finding out would be a fate worse than death. In fact, for spike it may mean actual death this time.

Unfortunately, you were the middle child. You were a year younger than Buffy and she never let you forget about it. Meaning, Buffy thought she was the boss of you. Not to mention Dawn basically clung onto your leg to stop you from leaving the house (and thus, preventing you leaving her behind where she couldn’t follow you around). This meant that, often, you didn’t get much spare time for sneaking around with Spike. But, God, did you make it your biggest priority. After… saving the world… obviously.

When you did manage to share these intimate moments, it was everything. It felt as if you were the only people in the world. The only people that had ever felt anything close to this. Nobody had loved this deep. Cared this much. You were both so sure. These feelings, they were eternal. He vowed it to you, one early morning you had spent with your naked bodies pressed together, baring your souls well into the night.

Any emotional scars you harboured seemed to heal just by speaking to him. By having that soothing voice share his own darkest moments with you in return. How that voice, those eyes could have seen and done so much and still make you feel undeniably safe you weren’t sure. But, you trusted him. Even if danger appeared to surround him at every turn. You wouldn’t change him for anything. You loved the good, the bad and the oh-so-attractive parts of him.

Vulnerabilities turned to strengths when you were together. Rough edges appeared smoother. Promises held meaning. You adored him and he confessed to you that he had never been so comfortable in a relationship. He could be himself, could express his feelings without being concerned you would turn away from him.

The first night you invited him into your home made him elated. You had to make him swear not to tell Buffy because you knew she wouldn’t take it well. Like, at all. As much as he would have loved to rub it in the slayer’s face that he had been given access to her house – he loved you too much to even think to upset you in this way. So, you carried on this way, unable to keep your hands and lips from each other for more than an evening at a time. This meant mostly, he stayed at the Summer’s residence or you left to the crypt. Sometimes, you even went for real dates – so long as you were sure that everyone else you knew would be busy elsewhere.

Tonight, you were going to the Bronze together. It was a little more of a risk than usual, but he had insisted on taking you somewhere he knew you would enjoy. Muttered something about not keeping you in the shadows before taking your hand and leading the way. The truth was, Spike was in fact just very smitten with you. And he pretty much wanted everyone to see that you were with him. This was ‘everyone’ except the scoobies and any family members you happened to have crawling out of the woodwork. It was safe though, everyone else was going to some college party and Buffy had told you that it was uncool to have her younger sibling come along.

Buffy was the only one that viewed you as the ‘younger sibling’ the others were friends with you because they were fond of you. Because, well, sometimes you appeared more mature than Buffy did – not that they would ever say that to her face. Although there was always that slight worry that if they hadn’t been friends with Buffy they wouldn’t have been as close with you. You were barely a year younger than Buffy but she was still incredibly protective of you as she was the oldest.

What you hadn’t banked on, whilst you rubbed Spike’s thigh under the table, was that Xander hadn’t been invited to the party. He saw you immediately and made his way over to you with Anya close behind. You almost choked on your drink as you saw them come up behind Spike. You snapped your hand away in shock much to Spike’s displeasure.

“Hey, Y/n-” he started and then stopped when he saw Spike’s presence, “He bothering you?”

“No, he’s just-”

“Warming you up, right pet?” His eyes glistened as he spoke, an eyebrow raising which made Xander scowl. You tried your best to hide the smile at your boyfriend’s words as Xander looked between you both. Xander liked to think of himself as your older brother and had decided you needed defending. You opened your mouth to say otherwise but ended up being cut off by a very urgent ex-vengeance demon.

“It doesn’t matter that they’re dating right now, we are all going to get ripped into pieces if the demon finds us!” Anya shouted. You hadn’t been as secretive as you thought then.

“An!” Xander hissed, sharing a look. At the exact same time you and Spike shared a look too. You wondered who else had seen straight through your sneaking around and longing glances you shared through scooby meetings.

You were sharing looks for different reasons though. They had obviously discussed what not to say beforehand and Anya had characteristically ignored his warning. There was some kind of demon threatening the town. Again.

“What’s going on, Xander? Anya?” you tried for your ex-vengeance demon friend when Xander didn’t speak. There was definitely something odd going on. At her name being called, despite Xander’s warning, she launched into an explanation.

“Xander got annoyed at our sex-spell and ripped a page out of my very rare copy of ‘magic, sex and me’ which ruined our entire evening!” She scowled and crossed her arms before continuing, “Now we have to kill it instead of having our sexy time” she pouted.

“We’ll pretend we didn’t hear about a sex spell-”

“Well, I want to hear about it. Can’t get it up, mate?” Spike taunted which only made Xander redden further after Anya’s admittance. Xander stepped as if to hit your vampire but you stepped in the way and wheeled Xander away, changing the subject.

You asked instead about what this demon was like. Anya explained that it was a Scorn-demon. Ridiculously hard to kill and bound to the pages of a book as no mortal prison can hold it. It looked as if you were in for a long night. Which is exactly what you and Spike had planned although for a very different reason.

“If all of us are looking, we’ll find it quicker” You offered, Xander had been embarrassed to explain because of the reason they were doing a spell. But now Anya had told anyone anyway, he was grateful of the help. You got to your feet, ready to follow them out as Spike got up beside you.

“Looks like no bugger’s getting any tonight” Spike muttered, rolling his eyes as you apparently volunteered you both to assist your friend.

“Just working ourselves up… right?” You offered which made him smirk. God, he had been rubbing off on you. You almost felt yourself mirroring his smirk at your words. He wanted to pull you in and kiss you until you admitted just his presence could get you worked up enough alone, but he knew the importance of hiding this from your friends. Which, really was the only reason he didn’t take you right there in the middle of the Bronze.

Instead, you just trailed behind Xander and Anya’s bickering and tried to locate this demon. You called Buffy’s cell and left a message. You knew this was probably going to end with a battle you were unequipped for. You just hoped that you ran into your sister before you ran into the demon. By all accounts he sounded nasty.

As you walked, you and Spike kept sneaking glances at the other when you hoped the others weren’t looking. It was hard, having to maintain this distance when all you wanted to do was reach for him. Show him your affection freely. When you caught the other’s eye, you couldn’t help but smile. You felt so lucky, to have someone that cared so deeply. Someone who wasn’t afraid to share their love so freely.

You wanted to slide your hand in his, tell him just how lucky you felt. Just how much you felt for him, although you were sure he must be sick of how often you told him you loved him. He never was, of course. It was the sweetest music hearing that phrase from your lips. He kissed them a thousand times just to catch the remaining sweetness from your tongue. With those words, nothing should be wasted. He wanted to savour every syllable of your love.

You kept walking until you had to come to an abrupt halt. Dawn turned a corner and crashed straight into you. Turns out, your hopes came true: you did come across your sister first. It just happened to not be the one you expected.

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys were ready for, like, double dating yet” Dawn teased. She, too, had decided that you and Spike had to be dating. She often brought it up to annoy you but she believed it all the same. Spike never corrected her and you had stopped bothering too. You would only come off as defensive and she would tease you for that. You honestly couldn’t win living under the same roof as Dawn, she could be relentless.

Spike leaned in to whisper something in your ear, his lips so close to your ear you could imagine the way they would feel if he leaned in further and pressed against your skin. You smiled at his comment, he always made you laugh. He liked to hear your laugh and it passed the time while he waited for the fight that was coming.

When you looked back up, Willow and Tara had caught up with your group. They gave you a knowing look at how close you were stood to Spike. You wanted to lean on him, inhale deeply and press kisses against the curve of his neck. You loved the way he gripped you closer when you did that. But you had to snap yourself out of this thought at the arrival of your sister. Buffy immediately started giving orders, not before she gave you a warning look for letting Dawn come with you after she scowled at Spike for his mere presence.

“I brought the research – I think there’s a spell, but we’ll have to weaken him first” Willow muttered, frowning at Anya and blaming her for this spell and putting her best friend in danger. 

“The spell needs lovers to complete it. Do you think you could help us Anya? Xander?” Tara asked softly, “But I’m not sure if that’s enough to hold him”

Because the demon was attracted to love and sex, couples were needed to cut off his power at the source. It fed from lovers and by concentrating that power it could reverse and thus weaken the demon within a certain spot.

“Well, if we need couples we have at least three pairs here. Maybe that would be enough?” Willow asked. Making everyone look around to count the pairs. Everyone’s eyes then landed on you and Spike. The last to look was Buffy who raised an eyebrow between you both.

“Does everyone know we’re dating?!”

“Pretty much, sweetie” tara nodded.

“We just didn’t wanna embarrass you. It’s… Spike” Buffy cringed at even the thought of it, “I, uh, thought you would have kinda got it out of your system by now though” Buffy hitched her nose up at the idea of the two of you, but shrugged. She saw it as a meaningless relationship. The kind she had with Parker in her first year of college but more often.

From what you gathered as they didn’t correct her, nobody really thought Spike capable of any kind of meaningful relationship. And with him not being able to actively harm you, they just decided to avoid the topic entirely until one or both of you got bored of the sex. The only one that hadn’t thought anything of your sudden proximity with Spike every time he turned around, was Xander. He really would have said something if he had known. But he still wasn’t convinced now – no matter how often Anya insisted.

You slid your hand into his, now that everybody appeared to know that you were together at least. He smiled at this, looking down at your hands back to your face. This smile, it was softer than he would usually show in front of the Scoobies, it was one only for you. Where he felt such genuine happiness. Such adoration.

As usual, nobody really wanted to discuss your love life (rather just ignore and hope it went away) and so began to look away from you and discuss the demon again. You began following the trail of destruction. He wasn’t so hard to locate really and Buffy immediately attacked him as Willow and Anya set up in a large triangle around the fight. Each couple was at each point of the triangle as the recital occurred. A flash of light surrounded the demon and Buffy before it faded, showing the demon now fighting sluggishly.

You tried to protect Dawn the best you could while Spike and Buffy took it in turns to throw punches at the now marginally weakened demon. You and the others helped when you could but he was so strong even now the spell had worked, that humans barely affected him.

Somehow the demon broke from Spike’s hold and started for Dawn - who he had sensed as the weaker member of your group. You charged in front of your younger sister to try and distract him. This lead to him twisting you and throwing you into the air and crashing into a nearby storefront. You were flung straight against the wall and hit your head quite badly. He watched you falling like a ragdoll, appearing limp due to the blow.

His gut dropped. He left Buffy to the fight. All that mattered now was that you were okay. He had never been so scared. Spike rushed over to you, dropping to the floor so that he could cradle your head in his lap. There were a few seconds where he didn’t know what to do.

But then just as he thought he may have lost you, hope was restored again. You open your eyes, your smile a little dazed as you looked at him from your position in his lap. He looked up to the sky in relief, as if silently thanking the powers. His eyes danced with emotion as he looked back into yours. He wouldn’t know what he would do without you. Couldn’t even imagine it less his heart would begin to ache with phantom loss.

He was so overcome by the thought of losing you that he immediately caught your lips with his. Pouring every single feeling he had ever experienced for you into that one kiss. His hand cupping your cheek, the other on the small of your back – pressing you closer to him. As if this kiss may well be your very last. You reciprocated without hesitation, your lips felt as if they had been moulded just for this very moment. This kiss, it said everything. Promised everything and you smiled into it. Your lips moving against his urgently, insisting he feel your love for him. Even in your weakened state, all of your energy went into kissing him.

In the same moment, Buffy managed to finally slay the beast and Tara and Willow muttered some words that sent him into the book he would now again call home. Buffy whipped around to catch you both kissing so desperately. The rest of the group stopped still and staring too. Every mouth agape in shock. At just how much you appear to feel for the other. This wasn’t just a quick shag when the feeling struck. One wasn’t taking advantage of the other. This was love. The truest kind. And nobody could deny it now, not even Xander.

After you parted, reluctantly on both parts, he took on your weight as you all walked back, everyone except him in silence. He doted on you, pressing a kiss against your temple every few paces – just because he could now in this company. He wanted to offer you all of the comfort he could. He was whispering to you trying to make sure you didn’t fall asleep. He was sure you had a concussion (I mean, you kissed him that way in front of all of your friends without any worries after all).

Buffy didn’t even object when it appeared that Spike was walking their way home. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Everyone could see just how deeply you cared for each other. It was undeniable, even to your older sister.

Spike was just pleased you would make it and be okay. And… he began to get smug that he was finally able to show the slayer that he could access her house this entire time.

[ironmaidenhead]

do you have any spuffy fic recs?

Unfavorable Odds by bookishy (WIP)

One night. That was all Buffy thought she'd be spending with Spike. He'd tell her how he killed her sister slayers, and in exchange, he'd get cash and one "get out of petty evil free" card. Instead, after a surprise ambush and several tranquilizer darts, they both wake up in an alternate dimension to find that they're now players in a life-or-death game set in Bizarro Sunnydale. To survive, they'll have to be the last ones standing--or figure out who brought them here in the first place and why. Sounds easy, right? After all, it's not like she hasn't worked with Spike to take down a baddie before. Unfortunately, their fellow competitors are kind of familiar. Like, really familiar. You could say they know them just as well as they know themselves.

Ex Magic by bookishy (WIP)

Buffy rescues Spike from the First's cave, only to find that he's not healing like he used to. Betting on the chance that a sire ritual will help put him back fighting at her side, Buffy does a rather dubious spell to call Drusilla to Sunnydale. But she's not the only one of Spike's exes to show up . . .  A season seven rewrite that goes AU post 7x11 "Showtime."

Inside Man by Holly (Complete)

Spike had this perfect memory of them together—her holding his hand, looking at him with tears in her eyes, telling him she loved him. If a man had to die, that was the way to do it. But in their world, the dead don’t stay dead. A completely canon-compliant retelling of AtS Season 5, beginning with Harm’s Way.

with a little daring do by lovelyorbent (Complete)

The first time they crossed paths Willow stared at Spike like she had grown a second head, although, Buffy reminded herself, it was possible she was just looking at the fangs. Or maybe the breasts. And, on one hand, you know, girl power, but on the other hand, ugh. What kind of monster went shirtless under a leather jacket?

“Is she — ” Will said, with a look on her face that was something like mesmerized.

“Is the Pope catholic, Will?” Xander asked.

“Way different reactions to crosses, though,” Buffy pointed out. “And probably also to girl on girl action.”

Willow choked.

scared of what's behind and what's before by womanaction (Complete)

The world is harsh, and cruel, and loud. They take it slow. Vague post-Chosen AU.

To Apprehend Air by Quinara (Complete)

Two days after LMPTM, Spike's soul is stolen. But that's OK; they can get it back, right? Simple. How hard is it to hop dimensions, anyway? Or storm a castle…

'I love you' is a thing you say to people who are dying by Quinara (Complete)

Season 7. Buffy/Spike. Some Watchers survived, because sometimes people do.

Turn and Face the Strain by Quinara (Complete)

Sunnydale and LA are brought together in late S6; Buffy's life seems to be taking a better turn because of it.

The Fun House Doors of Perception by Rebcake (Complete)

Spike's sure he's got it all figured...

Eternal Beauty by brutti_ma_buoni (Complete)

Just another mission. Just another creepy, empty, bloody apartment.

Just another- Oh bloody hell. Maybe not so empty.

Green Card Verse by brutti_ma_buoni (Incomplete)

Sometime after Something Blue, in an increasingly AU Sunnydale, it's becoming clear that Spike just hiding out in a crypt or a basement isn't enough. The Scoobies still need Spike, and the Initiative's plans are bigger, and longer term, than in canon. Drastic action is required. Buffy steps up to the... altar? What happens after that changes the face of the Buffyverse. There's frivolity and angst in varying quantities as we see what this one 'simple' change has meant.

wouldn't it be nice (in the kind of world where we belonged) by SummerFrost (Complete)

Spike is still beneath her, so hard he's vibrating, and a second ago she was living in this amazing, perfect, fresh piece of Dubble Bubble bubblegum world. A second ago, she loved him.

Or: The thing about Willow's will-be-done spell is that, yeah, obviously it sucks that it happened with Spike. But now that all those totally fake lovey-dovey feelings are gone, Buffy is starting to worry that she'll never get them back—with anyone. Too bad the only person who might understand is her mortal enemy.

Daemons Luminati by kalima (Complete)

“Angels are terrible things, my Spike. Demons of the light they are, with steel tipped pinions and hair like candyfloss that cuts your tongue to ribbons. They’ll come for us all one day, them with their sharp bones and huge willies.”

Can a vampire be dragged, kicking and screaming into the light? We’ll see. Spike’s a complicated guy, isn’t he?

Buffy Season Noir by Anna S. (Incomplete)

He was the only person who ever left her whose abandonment she'd truly earned, and he was the only one who kept coming back.

Domino Effect by Anaross (Complete)

Spike slips away unnoticed after Angel gives Buffy the amulet that might help in the final battle and runs directly into a tearful Buffy with a message from the future. AU after End of Days.

Distance by Herself (Complete)

When Buffy goes to the aid of an amnesiac Spike after the L.A. apocalypse, they both find out what lies at the core of their mutual attraction. Can their new love survive the return of Spike's real memories of all that's gone before?

Let's Get Lost by Herself (Complete)

She'd gone far far away from Sunnydale. From herself. Her name. Her calling. She didn't want any contact with the old life. Much less him. That pain-in-the-ass vampire. "Spike." She punched at the eyes floating before her; but he ducked and she pitched forward. He caught her before she fell face down in the filth. "What is this?" She wrenched herself free. "Since when do you help?" Set immediately post season 2.

[imagine-that]

The L word

Pairing: Spike x Reader, sort of Spike x Buffy

Warnings: none really, kinda angsty ig??

AN: takes place in 4x09, also I’m in love with spike and proud of it

“Summers what did you do with my boyfriend?” You yell as you make your way to the living room of Giles’s home.

She looks up with an eyebrow raised, clearly un phased by your anger.

“Aren’t you supposed to only come out in the dark?” She asks boredly.

You groan, anger seething through you.

“Slayer, I mean it. Where is he?” You ask again, looking her dead in the eyes.

She sighs, standing up and walking over to you.

“He’s not here. Why would he come over here at all? We all want him dead, remember?” She explains again with a sigh.

“I don’t know! Where is he? I haven’t seen him in days. I thought... I thought maybe he’d come here to take something but I just... I don’t know!” You whine, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

“He probably ran off to hunt some sorority girls or something.” She responds with a smirk.

You roll your eyes, looking back at her with daggers of a stare. “You’re cruel, you know that? You think I don’t believe that he’d jump some whores bones behind my back? Or go back to Drusilla in a heartbeat? Not that the two are any different...” You mutter with a bitter tone. “But I do. I fear that every damn day I’m with him but that doesn’t stop me from staying with him always, which brings me back to my initial question: where is he?” You repeat, looking to her desperately.

“I don’t know. I tend not to keep tabs on the non threatening enemies.” She responds.

You huff a sigh, rubbing your eyes tiredly. “Fine I’ll just find him myself.” You mutter, storming out the door and into the warmth of the setting sun.

You walk your way home, laying defeatedly in your bed, patting at the side where Spike would usually be.

After a lot of worrisome hours, you finally fall into a less than peaceful sleep.

———————————————————————————

The next day is spent wandering around, hunting for Spike. You’re restless and you know you probably look crazed, wandering around the town of Sunnydale in your sweats and tank top, your hair a frizzy mess and your eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep.

You wander mindlessly towards Buffy and Willow’s dorm, stopping outside as you see her familiar curly head of hair. Your breath hitches as you see the familiar white head of hair suddenly appear next to her, racing across the lawn, not caring in the slightest how he ended up there. Just that he was there was enough.

You notice the conversation the two of them had started since he appeared but don’t care, jumping onto his back, your arms wrapped securely around him as you nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck desperately.

He lets out a grunt in surprise, chuckling a bit as you place a kiss on his cheek, ignoring the rest of whatever crazy conversation he’d started with Buffy.

“Hello pet.” He hums, smirking as he helps you off his back, pulling you into his side.

“I was so worried.” You whisper as he breaths in the scent of your hair.

“I’m fine, I promise.” He responds, nipping at your ear playfully and making you giggle.

Buffy rolls her eyes, moving to push you out of the way. You whimper as she shoves you to the ground, watching as Spike fills with anger, going forward and punching her in the nose, only to cry out in pain and hold his head.

Buffy punches back, making him wince.

“As touching as this moment was, I have business with you.” She growls, grabbing Spike and tying him up easily.

You try to protest but every time she manages to fight you off, threatening to knock you out the next time you tried anything.

You trail after them, not wanting to lose his whereabouts again no matter what it took.

You follow her all the way into Giles’s house again, watching in horror as she tosses him to the ground.

Spike lets out a grunt. “Hey! Watch it!” He growls, glaring up at her.

“One more word out of you, and I swear...” She threatens, pointing at him with a dangerous look in her eye.

“Back off Buffy!” You warn but she gives you the same look, somehow making you back down.

You feel weak and helpless but she manages to scare you. You can’t put your finger on why, more than likely the aggression but she’s a force to be reckoned with and you know you fighting her would only end in your death.

Spike rolls his eyes again, looking bored.

“Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones.” He says with a small grin, making you feel slightly better yourself.

Buffy scoffs, looking at him in disbelief. “Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of .. stones.” She responds defensively.

Spike laughs, grinning to her tauntingly. “Yeah? You're all talk.” He challenges fearlessly, his tone almost bored. You giggle a bit yourself, glad he’s not completely miserable.

“GILES! I accidentally killed Spike. That's okay, right?” Buffy shouts, glaring daggers in his direction.

“Lay another hand on him and I’ll kill you myself!” You threaten, jumping in front of your boyfriend quickly.

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. He on the other hand, looks at you, a look of pride strong in his eyes, making you grin and blush a bit.

“Uh um just a minute...” Giles calls back, sounding confused.

The two bicker back and forth while you wait, uttering threat after threat.

She grabs him, shoving him into a chair harshly. You glare in protest, making your way to her to stop her rough movements but Spike makes eye contact with you, tilting his head in a way that tells you not to try anything.

He sneers at her with anger in his face. “I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.” He growls, making your face twist in confusion.

“Spell?” You ask, ignoring the heat of the moment.

“Long story babe. You’ll hear all about it when we blow this popsicle stand.” He says with a smirk, glancing at Buffy menacingly.

“Oh please, make a move. I’m dying for a good slay.” Buffy glowers back, stepping closer to him angrily.

Suddenly, the tension dissipates between them and Buffy is untying him, as he stands he allows her the seat, barely giving you a second glance.

“Spike?” You ask, confused.

He ignores you, getting down on his knees.

“Giles!” You cry out in alarm, watching with wide eyes at the scene before you.

As Giles enters the room, you watch the moment continue, frozen in your spot against your better judgement.

“If the two of you could just remain civil long enough for-“ He starts but then he gets a picture of what’s happening.

“It’s just so sudden!” Buffy says with a small, gleeful smile. “I don’t know what to say.” She adds.

“Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.” Spike urges, smiling at her with her hand held in his.

You feel tears brimming your eyes, blurring your vision slightly.

“But- but I thought I made you the happiest man on earth...” You mumble, looking to him longingly. Again, he’s too enthralled with Buffy to give you the time of day.

“Oh Spike! Of course it’s a yes!” Buffy squeals, embracing him in her arms.

A second later, their lips are pressed together, moving in sync and you feel your heart shatter inside your chest.

The feeling of emptiness sinks in as you feel the tears running down your face.

Finally, spike looks at you, a frown taking over his face.

“Oh y/n, it’s nothing personal. I did love you but Buffy and I are just meant to be. We’ve got so much history, it’s only right that something comes from it.” He explains, Buffy draped over his lap.

He reaches to give your hand a sympathetic squeeze but you jerk away, cradling your hand defensively as more tears form.

“D-do not touch me.” You growl, backing away from them and hiccuping between sobs.

“Come anywhere near me again and I’ll stake you myself.” You whisper, looking to him in a haunted daze.

The happy couple quickly gets too involved in each other to care, shrugging and distracting themselves with wedding details as you back out the door, your mind whirling with the memory of seeing them together like that.

You always doubted yourself, knowing Spike could probably find someone much better than you. But you’d never dreamed that of all the women he could get with, the one he’d want would be Buffy the slayer. He’d always hated her and her friends with a passion so strong, you never imagined that passion would go into something other than hatred.

You make your way back to your place like a zombie, your head too heavy with sorrow to think of anything else.

You let your tears roll down your face as you enter, grabbing your things as quickly as possible and shoving them all into a duffel bag, ignoring anything you see that belongs to Spike. You sniffle as you make a small accidental glance at the Polaroid you’d taken of the two of you together not long ago.

It usually made you laugh when you looked at it, seeing as it was you kissing the air considering the whole no pictures thing. Spike had hated taking it but you’d insisted and when you laughed at it you always saw a small, hesitant grin come to his face.

You collapse to the floor in tears, clutching the picture to you desperately. You longed for his touch, the cool fingertips that would send goosebumps over your entire body and warmth all at the same time.

You sit there feeling useless for what feels like hours, the ripe vision of Spike and Buffy sucking face fresh in your mind, taunting you.

Composing yourself, you rise to your feet, dragging yourself back outside.

“I will not let him unravel me like this.” You promise yourself, taking a deep breath.

You pull a hoodie on over your tank top, walking out into the cool night air and off towards the graveyard, needing to clear your head. For some reason the graveyard was oddly calming to you in a sense, the constant quiet and sense of aloneness comforting for you.

Suddenly, you see the scoobies fighting demons out of a crypt. You roll your eyes, turning to walk away but letting out a sigh as you decide to be a bigger person and help.

You run over, grabbing one of Buffy’s weapons and throwing your anger at her and Spike into fighting off one of the demons in front of you. You stab it, making it shrivel to the ground and die. You feel oddly liberated and refreshed, which makes you go after another, then another, then another. Next thing you know, you’ve killed all the demons in sight.

“Woah! Can someone say rage, party of one?” Xander jokes. No one laughs and you remain sulking, crossing your arms and ignoring the couple kissing in the corner.

The gang continues fighting demons as they come. You’re having fun for a while but then you watch as Spike gets attacked by one of them and you jump, surprised by what’s happened.

“Spike!” Buffy and you shout at the same time, both running to him. But Buffy’s faster, grabbing him in her hands and making you feel green with envy.

A second later you’re absolutely seething, watching her kiss him in a moment of worry and passion again. You bite your lip, trying to prevent yourself from saying or doing anything.

A few moments and many excruciating kisses later, a bolt of lightning crashes across the sky. You don’t think anything of it at first, but then Spike and Buffy jump apart as though they couldn’t possibly be anywhere near each other ever again.

“Oh ugh.” Buffy groans, looking at Spike as if he had bit her.

“Oh bloody hell!” Spike cries, his lips curling up in a show of absolute disgust.

The both of them wipe their lips, rubbing at their tongues like they’re on fire. Spike gags and Buffy pretends to tremble in disgust.

“Spike lips! Lips of Spike!” She bellows, shuddering.

“I happen to think you’d be lucky to kiss those lips.” You murmur hoarsely with a sad smile. Spike looks to you in shock, clearly knowing what all had happened.

“Y/n baby...” He says but you turn away, starting to walk away while rubbing your arms for warmth.

“Go away.” You sigh, making your way out of the graveyard quickly.

“Y/n!” He calls after you, running to catch up.

“I don’t want to talk to you Spike.” You say weakly, not even convincing yourself that it’s true.

He runs a little faster and gets in front of you, grabbing you gently by the shoulders to keep you where you are.

“C’mon pet... I would never do that to you, you know that.” He promises. You sigh, looking at him for the first time in the past few days.

“That’s just the thing Spike; I don’t know that. You still pine after Drusilla so I know you’d leave me for her in the blink of an eye. You still chase around college girls, even if you can’t feed off them. And now you’ve gone for Buffy. The slayer. The girl you’ve hated since day one.” You ramble, needing to get everything out in the open. “I’ve always been here for you but you will always put them first Spike and that kills me, it breaks me. But I live with it because I love you. But even with that, I’ve had enough of this whole focus on what you want all the time. It’s... I can’t do it anymore Spike. I’m tired, I’m so tired.” You cry, tears flowing out of you like a river once again.

Spike holds you in his arms, rubbing a hand over your back unsurely. “There there...” he says hesitantly, clearly unsure what to do in this situation.

With his minimal efforts of help, you recompose yourself and dab your eyes, waiting for him to start talking.

“Listen to me alright? That thing with the slayer was not real. Drusilla hates me and I want nothing to do with her either. The sorority girls? Just entertaining and good to take out my aggressions. You’re nothing like any of them. You’re better. You’re better because you’re you and you’re mine and because I love you damn it!” He exclaims, his tone one of desperation and desire as he’s meeting your eyes through his entire speech.

Your eyes open wider as you look up at him, sucking in your bottom lip.

“Y-you love me?” You ask quietly with a soft smile.

He nods, smirking and taking in a sigh. “Yes, I bloody love you with every piece of me.” He promises, running his hand over your hip while the other cups your face.

You stay stunned for a second. He’d never said the L word with you before. It was implied, it was shown through actions and gestures but never actually spoken. The words being directed at you from his lips though, that was the sweetest sound you could ever hear.

“I love you too Spike.” You say with a smile, closing the tense gap between you with an electrifying kiss. You both feel it all through your bodies, the connection binding itself once and for all.

He growls into your lips, making you smile.

“That slayer had nothing on you pet.” He promises, holding you close to him in an almost possessive way.

“Really?” You murmur doubtfully.

“Without a doubt.” He confirms roughly, digging his fingers into your hair.

You let out a moan and without hesitation, he hoists you up, your legs wrapped around his waist. The two of you stay glued to each others lips as he carries you back to the cavern you live in where he shows you just how much he loves you and only you.