#spike btvs fluff

[evieelyzabethh]

Hey can u do a spike smut

I have another Spike smut fic coming so I'm gonna use this to drop my sfw and nsfw Spike headcannons because fun fact, the buffy brain rot is real and I have over 100 pages of buffy reboot material. anyways...

warning: not proofread

sfw:

Spike purely smokes because he thinks it makes him look cool. I think when it comes to vampires, they either physically cannot feel the effects of drugs or are lightweights. He hates the smell of smoke, hence the duster jacket, and refuses to smoke in his crypt because of the shit ventilation

Speaking of smoking, William was most definitely asthmatic. He had no friends in boys school because too much physical movement sent him wheezing. He did enjoy horseback riding though

He has poetry stashed somewhere, I just know it. Under some slab of rock or rolled in some random alcohol bottle pirate style, it's somewhere.

Spike would love an English major or anyone who has a hobby aligned with creative writing. This doesn't mean he'd automatically show you anything he's written but he'd be more open to the possibility sooner rather than later.

Very picky with what he steals/wears. He will not just put any old rags on. He dressed Drusilla and he is a fashion icon and I stand by that

As for him with a partner, I do think he is the type to fall first and incredibly hard

I think how familiar you are with one another would dictate a lot. If you were a Scooby, I wouldn't say he'd keep his distance, but he wouldn't be super outright with his affection. There'd be some playful banter here and there, dare I say some flirting, and maybe even some gift-giving every now and again. He's like a crow, he'd be the type to drop things on your windowsill just because it reminded him of you

If you two didn't know each other, he'd most definitely be the stalking type. Every time you're walking home from school, there WILL be a dark figure following you around. You're getting harassed by some rando? If you paid attention to the newspaper, you'd see they mysteriously went missing. You can go from eyeing something while window shopping to it magically ending up on your doorstep

Never the one to make the first move. He wouldn't say a word unless he was 100% confident that you liked him back, and even then, there'd be a lot of hesitation

He would love a forward partner. Someone who makes his insecurities melt away and who he doesn't have to worry about them ever getting over him. When he loves, he loves forever. He has all of time to love you and his ideal partner would be someone who wants to spend all of time with him

He is such a romantic!!! I think he would be so into matching couples costumes or just matching outfits in general. Super into domesticity wherever he can get it, decorating a home together, cleaning together, cooking together, doing anything together

Since he can't have a job, I do see him being a house husband. It gives him something to do during the day. Wears a 'kiss the cook' apron and pouts if you don't give him kisses while wearing it. I headcannon that he spent time all over Europe, including France, and had some really good pastries at some cafe that closed like 200 years ago and made it his life's mission to recreate them. The grocery bill is high but it makes him happy

Valentine's Day is his absolute favorite holiday and he makes a big deal of outdoing himself every year. Not in terms of money or extravagance, but meaning. He treats every day as a new one to know more about you. It's not enough to know your favorite color, he needs to know the exact shade, exact hue, and exact context you love it in. He knows your allergies, remembers your favorite outfits, and keeps track of your cleaning habits so he can make everything shiny and new when you forget yourself. He becomes a master of all trades to make you whatever you want exactly how you want it

He does really like Halloween, too. He's a huge fan of the Scream movies. He dislikes when horror movies try too hard. Being so used to gore, blood, and guts, he prefers a funnier, more unserious scary movie

Speaking of blood, he starts out against drinking from you. He used to only do it to kill someone, or at least with the intent to cause harm. He didn't trust himself not to get overwhelmed and hurt you. But I feel like at some point he either gets hurt on patrol or his stash gets low and you both forgot to restock and he has to. It was a very close call, and he couldn't bring himself to even look at you after the fact. He only warms up to it if it's necessary. He avoids it, but there are always slip-ups. He has bitten you during sex a few times when he got a bit too into it. He says he refuses to do it unless it's for your pleasure

He is so obsessed with you, if you couldn't tell. You're his favorite person, favorite scent, favorite taste. Not to be slightly yandere on main, but he would kill for you and kill himself if he wasn't enough for you. Never leave you. Never hurt you. Spike would never.

nsfw:

He is neither an ass or tits guy, he's just a 'you' guy. Absolutely everything about you gets him going. You think it's funny at first until you're trying to eat a bowl of spaghetti and he's staring at you, hard. It's not his fault the stray sauce around your lips looked like blood and vampire you is a very hot concept to him

You guys have to own a house. The noise complaints would be too much and you'd get evicted. I do see him as more of a groaner than a moaner, but sometimes it's just too much and it's both. Sometimes it's just one hand gripping the pillow your head is resting on, the other on the headboard, and his head in the crook of your neck practically whimpering as you milk his cock

You also have a tendency to get pretty loud, and as much as he loves your voice, his super vampire hearing can't take it sometimes :(

Doesn't really matter the position, but it's hard and he's so big. You can feel him in your damn ribs and it's choking you up. You don't even realize how loud you are. It's not until you hear his raspy voice in your ear. "I know, love, I know. It's a lot, but I need you to be a bit quieter. You're hurting me." And you pout a bit and try to mumble apologies that just sound like gibberish. You try, futilely, but surely he must understand that you can't help it. Not when it's this good. He whispers again, rubs where your belly bulges from his dick, but it doesn't seem to work. He eventually flips you over to shove your head in the pillows and you were far too out of it to complain. You like it a bit rough anyway.

As mentioned previously, he is a biter. He can't help it, it's instinct honestly. Its not like you mind, you clench even harder when he does. The sudden smell of iron is drowned out by the stench of sex and sweat, and the piercing feel of his fangs into your neck only stings for a bit. He makes up for it by licking up whatever spills <3 Being with a vampire was always going to be at least a little painful

He likes his hair pulled. You're fingers in his hair in general is heaven on earth, but being pulled around a bit is nice

Has a thing for tearing your clothes off. He really does like being a vampire, feeling big and strong in a way he was never able to when he was human. There is a feral piece of him, maybe its the demon inside him or it was always present, but seeing your clothes in pieces after the fact just scratches the itch in his brain

Speaking of brain, enjoys giving and receiving head equally. Being absolutely obsessed with you, and very secretly obsessed with the taste of your blood, he could die happily with your cum on his lips. Between your legs is his favorite place for real. As for receiving, it's his favorite way of shutting you up in any scenario.

Bruises. Everywhere. Hickeys. Everywhere. He's possessive but not exactly an exhibitionist, they end up along your collarbones and your thighs. Places where they can easily be hidden or revealed

Plays old music because he's old. He refuses to use modern technology because he likes his old as dirt aesthetic but definitely plays sexy orchestral music. I simply do not believe him to be an RnB kinda guy

He likes seeing you in his clothes after!! Going back to the whole love for domesticity thing, it just feels right. He's, shockingly, not always a horny fuck in the morning. Sometimes it feels more right to just look at you, the pretty after sex glow on your face, your messy hair, your cheeks pressed into the pillow. If you get up before him and put on what he had on the night before, it just completes the picture.

When he is a horny fuck in the morning, it's still just as soft and slow as the non-sexual mornings. He likes to be the big spoon simply because it's easier to slide his dick between your thighs and hold your tits at the same time

[itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland]

Finding Peace Pt.9: Home (Spike x Y/N)

Requested: No. Part 9 of the Multi Fic.

Summary: A house is not a home if the right people don't live in it. Sacrifices may have rewards but they also have consequences.

TW: None

Word count: 2.3k

Previous | Next

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The night air was crisp. The walk from the school to your house was tranquil. The sounds of the night filling the silence between you and Spike. You made sure to hold his hand as you walked. As if he had forgotten his way back to your house. The breeze played with your hair filling the space with your scent. Spike took deep breaths committing every note to memory.

"Home sweet home." You say as you open the door to your house.

Spike walks in, confused and lost.

You watch him attentively. You take in his figure, the slope of his jaw, the new light in his eyes.

"You remember my house, right?" You ask, concerned.

He nods. He hasn't spoken a word since you left the school. You worry but choose not to bring up his odd behavior. Maybe he needed some food, some rest and some space. All things you could provide.

"You can stay on my pull out couch. Are you hungry?" You work on the bed to make it more comfortable for him.

"Yes." He says absentmindedly.

You clear your throat to get his attention. He shifts his gaze onto you, sitting on the pull-out bed, inviting him with your eyes.

"Organic or animal?" You ask.

"Organic?" He questions.

You point to your neck. "I trust you."

His face contorts, his stomach hurts, he's at odds with himself. He desires to touch you but not like this. This is too much. He fights the urge to run. Here is where he belongs. Here is safe.

"Animal, please." He says gruffly.

You frown slightly but oblige. You wanted closeness but this was definitely not the way to get it. Was he still putting distance between you two? Would he rather be with Buffy?

You bring him a tall glass with animal blood in it. He takes the glass, hands shaking. You hold his hands as he holds the glass. Helping him steady his hold. You both look up and make eye contact. You give him a small smile. Spike fights the urge to run, again. He doesn't deserve your care. He's a monster. He's done so much, yet, he stays.

You walk away to give him space. You walk into your room to find spare clothes that you had from a previous fling.

You walk back to Spike and offer him the clothes, "You need a shower. It'll make you feel better. This is all I have. We can get more of your clothes tomorrow from the crypt."

He mirrors your earlier gesture and places his hands on yours. He needs your warmth. Your reassurance. You smile again as you make eye contact.

He mindlessly trails into the bathroom. You can hear the shower turn on. You sit on the pull-out bed waiting for him.

Spike walks out, jeans on and no shirt. You forget to breathe. Chiseled muscles outline his pecks and stomach. A figure made of marble.

"You're all set for bed." You sound much more chipper than you intended to. You'd be lying if you said that you didn't miss having Spike in your home.

He nods. He walks up to you as you get up. You stand in front of each other awkwardly. He closes the space between you by hugging you. You're taken aback by his sudden movement. Slowly, you return the hug, taking in all that he has to offer. He holds you for dear life. His life line. The reason why he made the choice he made. You remind yourself to breathe, to take him in. You remind yourself that this is as far as you can have him, and you choose to not dwell in your own sadness.

Spike holds you for what seems like an eternity. His body lovingly pressed against yours. Chest to chest. Hip to hip. He slowly lets go but stays close. His face inches from yours. You fight the urge to kiss him. To finally give into your desire.

"Thank you." He says and then lets go.

You stand there a hot mess. "You're we-welcome." You stammer still taken aback by his gesture.

This version of Spike was so new to you. So gentle and fragile. What happened to him? Where did he go and what did they do to him?

You slowly walk out of the living room into your room. You quickly change into your pajamas and lay in bed. Sleep doesn't take hold until the early hours of the morning. Tossing and turning wondering if he even wanted to be here.

The next morning is full of songs from birds. The sun is warm and welcoming. You jolt up remembering Spike can't be near the sun and you couldn’t remember if you closed the blinds. You run to your living room to see Spike dead asleep. The curtains are closed. A sigh of relief.

You watch him sleep. He looks so innocent, so tranquil, so handsome. You feel tempted to touch him, and you give in.

You crouch down by his face. You slowly ghost your fingers over his cheekbones, and his jaw, committing this side of him to memory. You watch over him, lovingly.

"Lose some' in', pet?" He says with his eyes still closed.

A blush paints over your cheeks and you giggle. "I was just admiring the view."

He opens his eyes and meets your probing gaze. He slowly, deliberately, smiles up at you.

"Careful, you might fall in love." He teased.

Your heart skipped a beat. If only he knew.

You sigh, "it's a risk I’m willing to take." You say playfully.

You stand to walk away as Spike's hand wraps around your wrist. You gasp.

"Sit." He says and pats the mattress space next to him.

You smile and sit by his side. You enjoy this side of Spike. Domestic. Calm. Sweet.

"Wha' are our plans for today, love?"

"Whatever you want. I don't have to patrol until night fall."

He bites his lower lip, thinking. He wants to spend time with you but doesn't know if you'll want to spend time with him. He has so much doubt. He doesn't remember being this person. There's so much fear, and so much confusion.

"Stay with me?" He whispers.

You smile wholeheartedly. "That's the plan."

He sighs in relief. He sits up, hair a mess, torso naked. You take him in, hoping this is your new normal.

You both agree to eat breakfast and watch tv. The rest of the day is spent in front of the tv. A safe topic. No questions about where he went and what he did. Just domestic bliss. Comfort at its finest. You reminded yourself to give him space. To let him land before his next big jump. He enjoyed being present with you. To be seen and not just perceived.

The sun sets. The night takes on a life of its own. A soft breeze caresses the trees and homes. You start getting ready to patrol.

"I'll be back in a few." You call out to Spike who was in the kitchen.

"You sure as hell ain' goin' without me." He shows up at your room's doorway.

You're taken aback by his response. "You need to rest. I've got this."

He rolls his eyes at you, "I'm goin’."

You decide it’s best to not argue with him. You both make it out your house down to the cemetery. You both sit around waiting for trouble, but nothing comes your way.

"Bloody slayer, doin' her job." He mutters.

You laugh. "That's a good thing." You get up and dust off your pants. "Let's call it quits. We've been out here for hours."

He agrees. You walk together back to your house. You and Spike walk back in silence. Your new normal. You crave to ask him all of the things, to know everything but you opt for comfortable silence.

"Did you receive my note?" He asks, breaking the silence.

You look up, startled. "Yes." You whisper.

Silence.

He stops. You stop with him. You turn to him finding his blue eyes with yours.

"Did you wait for me?"

"Everyday."

He walks closer to you. He places his left hand on your left cheek, reminding himself of how you feel. You close your eyes; it feels like home.

Rumbling can be heard close by. It interrupts your moment as you notice two rogue vampires running up to you and Spike.

Spike wastes no time launching at them. You hesitate before you attack the vampires, helping Spike. Spike is aggressive and focused. He disposes of vampire #1 easily. You on the other hand were struggling with vampire #2. You look at Spike for help. Spike doesn't hesitate and jumps in, and easily disposes of the second vampire.

"What happened?" Spike asks.

"Did you forgef? I can't kill vampires." You say sheepishly.

Spike is dumbfounded. How could've he had forgotten?

"I'm sorry, pet. Can you explain it again?"

"So, I got cursed because I killed the lover of a powerful witch. The lover of the witch was, you guessed it, a vampire. So now I have to live forever but can't kill vampires. So, I'm doomed to walk the earth with my enemy, for eternity." You say rapidly and take a very deep breath when you're done.

Spike stands there dumbfounded. Why is there so much lore to you? Then it occurred to him that you had never tried to kill him.... because you can't. Here he thought it was because you didn't hate him like all the rest. He makes a mental note to further process this new situation at a later date.

He sighs. "Let's just go home." He reaches for your hand.

You were confused at what he meant by 'home', until he started guiding you back to your house. It warmed your heart that he would call your small and humble house his home.

Once you reach your house you take turns showering to get ready for bed.

"Thank you, for helping me, and not judging my less than slayer limitations." You say as you turn off the light to the living room where Spike was getting ready to go to bed.

In blinding speed Spike pulls you into his lap as he sits on the bed. Your back is against his chest. His arms around your mid-section. His head tucked between your neck.

"You’re perfect." He whispers against your skin.

You take a deep breath. You revel in his touch. You place your hands on top of his. You wonder how close can you fly towards the sun before you get burnt.

You turn to him, adjusting yourself on his lap. He sucks in a sharp breath at the friction of your movements. You place your left hand on his cheek while holding eye contact. He leans his face into your touch and closes his eyes.

"Where did you go?" You ask.

Spike sighs, eyes still closed. "To find my light."

"And?"

"It burns inside me." He opens his eyes to meet your gaze.

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. You note the change in his eyes. The transformation of his demeanor. Something happened but you didn't know what. You were too afraid for a clarification on what he meant.

"It's best if you rest." You say.

You feel his hold tighten. He shifts his lap under you. An invitation? You can't. Not now.

"I'll see you when you wake up." You lean in and kiss his nose.

He basks in your affection, hungry for more. He reluctantly lets you go. You step away from his embrace and exit the room.

Sleep doesn't come easy to you. As you lay in your bed you wonder what he meant about finding his light. You felt foolish wondering if it was about Buffy. The thought of him still pining over her made you jealous, unsettled, sad. You struggle to find rest. Suddenly, you hear loud yelling coming from the living room. Spike.

You quickly enter the living room to find him tossing and turning in his sleep. You intervene and wake him up. He wakes up mid scream. You hold him as he gasps for air. You soothe him by running your hand down his back. He holds onto you for dear life.

"Breathe." You encourage him.

His breath is shallow and labored. As if he'd been fighting in his sleep. He starts regaining control over himself.

"What happened?"

Spike doesn't answer. He is disheveled and wild eyed. You continue to soothe him until he is able to speak.

"Can I stay with you?" He asks, almost pleading. The equivalent of a child asking for guidance. "Just for tonight?"

You nod and grab his hand. You guide him to your room, making sure he is settled on one side of the bed before you get in with him.

You lay there with him. No movement is made for awhile. You explore this change in atmosphere.

"Do you want me to hold you?" You venture.

Silence.

"No."

Silence.

"Can I hold you?" He asks craving to have you near. To make sure you're real.

You inch your body closer to him. You lay your head on his chest as he snakes an arm around you.

You take in the scent of his naked skin, the lack of a heartbeat, the care in which he holds you.

"Spike" you hesitate.

Silence

"What did you really get?"

"What you told me I needed." He spoke, groggily as he fell asleep.

You laid there still at a loss. Your brain was a jumble of answers. You take in the moment because you didn't know how long it would last. As you drift into sleep it hits you... a soul. He went and got a soul.

Spike made the choice that he believed would serve him the best. He knew that he could never be whole as he was. He could crave but never have what he wanted the most. Sacrifices needed to be made. However, he never factored in the torment his choice would bring for him. He simply saw the light at the end of the tunnel and hoped that you would be waiting for him at the end of it.

[spuffybaby]

Time to Heal (3)

chapter links: (1) (2) (4) (5) (6) (7)

The sun was tickling her face through the blinds and Buffy turned her back to the window, yet felt the throbbing in her head which she'd expected to be much worse to have gone almost completely. She touched the bandages and they were dry, did not feel crusty or soaked. In the night, she'd pulled herself up from the sofa and gone up into her bedroom. She closed her eyes again, lay there for a minute and wondering if she could go back to sleep when it hit her. Spike. He was here.

She sat up, a throbbing, pulsing pain shooting through her head from the swift movement. Her hand flew to her head, pressing against the wound. A glance at the clock on her bedside table told her that Dawn would have already left for school. She pushed the covers from her body and tried to rise slowly, pulling on a pair of loose cotton trousers and a burgundy sweater. She went quietly down the hallway and to the mirror, her head still pulsing. Soon, she'd tied up her hair to the best of her ability with the bandage, and taken a couple of painkillers. The events of the night were coming back to her and she realised she'd been too out of it to be sensible, grateful Dawn had done her job. She recalled herself campaigning to let Spike roam free around the house. She'd been foolish. She'd let hope get the best of her and been reckless.

On her way down the stairs, she could smell Dawn had made some kind of breakfast and she was met with a defrosted chocolate croissant sat on the top of the kitchen island, taking it happily as her stomach rumbled. While the basement had been her destination, she now hesitated as she approached the stairs. Maybe she hadn't been reckless after all. Maybe she'd dreamed it all. Not the wound, but maybe all around it. When she reached the bottom step, she expected the basement to be empty.

“Hello, sunshine.”

He was sat at the bottom end of the mattress to avoid the light that shone in through the small window above him. He was in a dark grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans, black boots. She hadn't seen his coat upstairs where he'd taken it off the night before, but then, she hadn't allowed herself to look on the way down. The gel in his hair had loosened and his eyes looked tired. His back was against the wall, his skin smooth, his jaw sharp, the expression neutral, the hint of a smile, though hesitant. He was Spike.

“That's not a compliment from you.”

The smile grew less hesitant. “I meant it as one.” He didn't move, just watched her.

“Why?”

He huffed, shaking his head and lowering his gaze. But he lifted it into hers again before he spoke. “Why d'you think?”

Buffy swallowed, walking a few steps further into the room, then coming to a stop in the middle of it. “I don't know,” she said quietly. “It's been months.”

“Months,” he repeated, a tone of mockery in his voice, as if the concept was beneath him, absurd. “When did I ever give you the impression that the way I love would just pass within a few months?”

It wasn't Spike. It was mocking her. There was no way that she'd moved through life during the last few months and so had he, or maybe hadn't, and they'd paused and were now playing again. Except maybe, he had. There was the usual poetry to his choice of words that contrasted so beautifully the leather and bleach and possessive and protective exterior.

“I suppose you didn't,” she said.

“Damn right, Slayer.”

She dropped her shoulders, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I don't really know what to say,” she confessed.

His expression softened. “How's your head?”

“Better,” she said.

“Had some chocolate?” he smiled, had of course smelled her breakfast.

“Dawn left me a croissant,” she nodded. “She's at school now.” Slowly, she started approaching him. “Thank you for last night.”

“Just like old times, eh?” he asked, his eyes grew more watchful as she leaned over him to undo the restraints, then watching him rub his wrists.

“I don't know about that,” she said quietly, though could not help but think of when they'd gone patrolling together, and how he'd had her back then, the same way he still had the night before. “It's just... I don't know. You just showing up here after you... died. It's strange. But I suppose there's no right way to... show back up.”

“You'd know.”

She glanced up at him as she stood straight. “I suppose.” For a moment, she contemplated just going back upstairs, because she was undeniably overwhelmed, but she refused to leave him. Instead, she sat next to him, the sun meeting the back of her head. “Will you tell me what happened?” She leaned back against the wall by his side, though not quite close enough to touch him.

He blinked back at her. “Are you sure?”

Buffy nodded, staying silent, waiting.

He licked his lips and then he began to tell her, how he'd appeared right in front of Angel of all people less than three weeks after he'd died in Sunnydale, no time having passed for him. He told her how he'd been a ghost for months, how he'd haunted Angel, attempted to have his body and failed. He explained about the amulet, that it had somehow preserved him, it seemed, that he had come out of it once it'd mysteriously been sent to Angel. He told her how he'd finally gained his body back a different way.

Buffy listened, could barely remember a time in which she'd let him speak for this long, in which anyone had, the only moment she could think of being when he'd told her about killing the two Slayers. All that seemed like a lifetime ago. The man who had told her those stories had already outgrown the murderer of the Slayers, but the man that sat in front of her now was someone else entirely.

“That was last week,” he concluded. “I only stopped being a ghost last week.”

“How did you find me?”

“Through Angel. He's been keeping tabs on you,” he told her. “But he wouldn't let me contact you or, well, contact you for me before I could do it myself. And I hated that I couldn't come to let you know I was alive because I was bound to the amulet there. I was powerless. But trust me when I say that the first thing I wanted to do was come to you.” He paused, seemingly catching up with his own words only then. “I mean... oh, hell, I did. No time had passed for me. It was the day after you said you felt the same way about that night in that house that I did. That there was something to be said about after the battle. Seeing you now... it feels like no time has passed still. But for you... I'm still such a jerk. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” she said quickly. “You did everything you could in your power. It's not your fault,” she assured him.

He gave her a small smile. “Have you not... I mean, have you moved on? Thinking I was gone?”

Instantly, Buffy lowered her gaze. She looked at her hands, fidgeting, unsure of what to say. Yes, time had passed, yes, she'd thought he was gone, but ultimately, her feelings had not changed. She had been well aware that she should put them to rest, that nothing would come of them and that she had to accept his death and move on. But that didn't mean she'd done so. If anything, in living with just Dawn, she'd realised that she'd always been able to count on Spike. And she regretted so much that that realisation had come mostly in his absence. Since Dawn had stayed with him, she'd taken him for granted. She'd never thanked him the way she should have for watching her during those months after she'd died. Even after, she'd been able to count on him, with Dawn, and to stand by her always. Only when he was no longer there, she'd realised how much she'd relied on him. With any new bit of information, any new development in the weeks before the battle, filling Spike in had seemed like the priority without her even noticing. While leading the Slayers, she'd discussed and regrouped with him more than anyone else, before meetings and practice and patrols and after, she'd checked in with Spike. He'd been her ally, her partner, and she'd never worried for a second that he would stab her in the back or abandon her in her leadership. And yet, he'd set her mind straight when following her after the others had cast her out, had pushed her to do the right thing when she hadn't been able to.

Should she have moved on in the face of his death? Yes. Had she?

“I'm not sure.”

He waited, letting her gather her thoughts.

She could barely believe how much she'd missed just seeing his face, only now she appreciated it, held so much disappointment in herself with how much she'd taken him for granted. Was there even a way to come back from that for her? “I wanted to see where things went after the battle,” she confessed. “I really did. I thought we had time. I trusted... the process.”

“Yeah?”

Buffy nodded. “I'm sorry.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Buffy, for what?”

“Everything.” She shrugged, still avoiding his eyes. “I took you for granted, Spike. I used you as my punching bag, figuratively and literally. I ridiculed you when I shouldn't have. Even after you got your soul, my behaviour towards you didn't change the way it should have.”

He shook his head. “No, love,” he said. “None of that could ever compare to what I tried to do to you.”

She stopped him. “I don't know,” she said.

“It's what made me go and get my soul. I realised that I was not the man you deserved, that I could not come close because I couldn't understand why I did it when I knew how i felt about you. I will never forgive myself and I will never ever stop making up for it. Hell, Buffy, I wish every day I could take it back. I'm so glad you stopped me. I never should have tried and I'd like to say I wouldn't have kept pushing. But I was a monster then. I'm not worthy of you now. And yet, before the battle, I let myself hope.”

Buffy turned her head, her eyes meeting his. “And now? Do you still hope?”

It was him who averted her gaze then, looking up. “Bloody hell, get a fella a drink first, will you?” he chuckled.

She smiled to herself, remembered how much she enjoyed seeing him squirm, but also the honesty he'd allowed her to see that night, as well as the fear that if he made himself vulnerable, she'd rip into him.

This was no time to be a coward. “I do,” he said, lifting his gaze. “I can't lie to you, pet. Like I said, it feels like no time has passed. I held you and you held me and I don't think I ever felt more comfortable. All those months without a body, I longed to go back to those nights. I do now still.” He closed his eyes. “But I still feel as I did then. I love you for who you are, not because I desire you. Time has passed for you with a much different reality. No matter how you feel, Buffy, I'm still yours. I'd do anything for you.”

His words felt surreal, like maybe she still hadn't fully regained consciousness after last night's attack. It's like all the time that had passed had been taken out between the night before the battle and the moment right before her. She hadn't realised how she'd longed to hear him say it again. Only shortly before his death, she'd begun to appreciate them, the poetic promises, a devotion she had never experienced from anyone else. “How?” she whispered.

He opened his eyes. “How?” he questioned.

“How can you feel like that and be so in control of yourself?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Trust me, pet, 's not easy.”

“But?”

“But I want you to feel at ease. I want you to trust me that I will never do anything again that you don't want. I respect that things are different for you.”

“They aren't.” The words rushed from her mouth before she could sign them off in her brain. “I mean, I should have moved on and not held on to you. But I did.” She nodded confidently at her statement. “I did.”

He blinked in disbelief. “You held on to me?”

“Every day. After what you told me, I knew there was no pressure, and that's how I behaved. If only I'd known.” She stopped herself, tears forming in her eyes.

Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, though freezing as he realised, ready to withdraw, but her head sank down slowly on his shoulder. “Hey, hey, love, it doesn't matter,” he said, the softness in his voice so familiar, but she was experiencing it in such a different way now, appreciative, comforted. “'m here now.”

His hand was rubbing her arm and he pressed a kiss to her hair.

“I wish you'd believed me,” she whispered. “All this time, it's haunted me.”

“What d'you mean?”

“At the Hellmouth,” she said. “I've thought every single day since... you died without believing me.”

He was silent for a moment, then realised. “Oh.”

“I meant it.” It felt strange, pressing play as if the last few months had been nothing but a dream, a cruel outdrawn interlude, a conversation they'd have had had he left Sunnydale behind with them on the school bus.

“Not to be that guy, but... how could you mean it? After everything? Sure I've hoped, but I never truly expected-”

“Stop,” she said. “Stop it.”

“Buffy, I'm not being funny, I-”

“Shut up, Spike.” She looked up at him. “You saved the world. You saved the Slayer that saved the world many times. No one has stood by me the way that you have. No one's made the bad fade away for me the way you have. No one's loved me the way you have. For me. How could I not?” He was comfort and he smelled like it, felt like it, she wanted to stay as close as she was. “You got a soul. For me. You wanted to be good, you are good. For me.”

He swallowed hard, his hands trembling and she took them into hers as soon as she realised. She then shuffled onto her side to lie down, pulling him down with her, relaxing into him instantly when he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her in, her back pressed to his chest, his face against her neck. He really was holding her.

“You think I'm good?” His voice was merely a whisper of disbelief.

She squeezed his hand, closing her eyes. Her head was still pounding and she knew now she could really rest, overcome with fatigue. “I know you are,” she said quietly, absently pressing a kiss to one of his fingers, the cold metal of his ring against her lips for a moment. “You're a good man, Spike.”

[chubbyreaderchan]

So when I was a kid my parents would kiss each other good bye three times for luck and they told me it represented 'health, wealth, and happiness' and like... Just doing that with your fav.

That's all.

[hippiegothrecs]

banner by me :)

banner by @cafekitsune

About Me: call me Hippie (or Goth) / 27 / she/her / fic writer / bi / married / minors and ageless blogs DNI

Main Blog: hippiegoth97

divider by @strangergraphics

My Fandoms/Favorite Characters

Stranger Things: Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Chrissy Cunningham

The X Files: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully

Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Spike, Giles, Buffy, Willow, Tara, Faith, Angel, Drusilla

Slumber Party Massacre 2: Driller Killer

Ghostbusters: Egon Spengler

Once Upon a Time: Killian Jones, Regina Mills

Fargo: Gator Tillman

Rec Lists: (Coming Soon!)

Eddie Munson

Steve Harrington

Stranger Things

Fox Mulder

Dana Scully

Spencer Reid

Penelope Garcia

Spike (BTVS)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Gator Tillman

Tagging some lovely writer Mutuals, please check out their awesome work!: @rafeyscurtainbangs @loserboysandlithium @stalactitekilla @sanctumdemunson @jenniquinn

@userchai @violetpixiedust @littlenymphfables @angel-munson @slowandsteddie

@mediocredreams @xxbimbobunnyxx @thisusernameisunavailable01 @littlexdeaths @ali-r3n

@spookybabey @leelei1980 @hotwritergf @strangererotica @melodymunson

@queenimmadolla @cxrrodedcoffin @keeksandgigz

I'm hoping to see this list grow over time, community is very important!

[matchesarelit]

Imagine If You Will...

Attempting to make the most of your stay with your family friends despite the tension that is still lingering after 70 odd years.

This is the *Fluffy* Part 2 an obscenely long time after the other two parts, Fair warning although it gets quite cute, the beginning is a little angsty cause like Ambrose was a dick and needs to apologise so ya know...

P1 -- Angsty p2 

WC: 1.9k

You gathered yourself, walking down the hall before striking your knuckles twice on his door. You were met with silence, yet just as you raised your clenched fist to knock again you heard from behind you;

“Hi”

"Ambrose..."

His name was simply all you could manage, the determination from mere seconds before had dripped away and settled in the grooves of the floor. Turning to meet his eyes, you allowed your arms to drop as dead weight to hang by your sides, every ounce of you tired from the hours of anticipation and dread.

The extended silence that hung in the air between the two of you felt unending, your eyes had all but glazed over in your trance. The sound of his footfalls was what alerted you mere milliseconds before you were crushed in his embrace, his head rested atop your own, tucking you into himself. There was no space, no air between the two of you, it was admittedly a not unwelcome change but it was cast in the shadows of the discussions that had to follow it.

The exhale that tumbled from his lungs turned into hurried kisses along the crown of your head, the small acts of affection wrought a funny familiarity, It had been almost a century since you conceded to yourself that you would never feel it again, and decades since you last allowed yourself to remember it. His embrace still felt the same, hauntingly, jarringly so, as if it was someone else's distant memory not your own that you were experiencing.

Despite the strange looming feelings the interaction was nothing near short, you clung to each other, fisting the clothes beneath splayed hands for near half an hour.

Pulling back you met his eyes, "It's been a while ey?" eyes falling over his form; "How has it been, being trapped inside?" he simply rolled his eyes as his hands sat on your hips, the warmth of his skin calming in the crisp autumn air, not to mention the scent that remained the same despite the decades that have passed. The smell is every memory, every adventure and experience you had shared, every whispered secret and playful scheme.

"Heaven how I missed you!" He gripped your sides tighter as he pulled you closer once again and spun the pair of you on the spot in the snug hallway. A sound, a mix of a quaint giggle and absurd snort erupted from your stomach at the shock of the movement. "Me too 'Ro. Can't say I expected such a warm welcome though..." you allowed your sentence to hang between the pair of you unfinished, knowing he was the only one who could answer the question you didn't ask. Gingerly, he placed you down on your own two feet, keeping one hand on your waist, he assured you were standing steady before he retreated his hand to rub the back of his neck.

His tone was sheepish as he started up again but his eyes never left yours, "I am so sorry, for... everything; for not listening to you or my aunties, for saying such harsh and untrue things to you. It was all lies and bullshit to make myself feel better about my idiotic decisions. I think I knew, back then, how stupid it was I-I just didn't want to admit I was wrong, that I could fall for such a imbecilic scheme." he ran a shaky hand down the length of his face. "I know how horrible the things I said to you were, and I can't imagine how hurt you must have been. I hate that I was so detestable while you were simply trying to help me and the things you were saying- I feel like I didn't even really hear them until you had left. please just know I am trying better these days, to listen to those around me, the people I care about..."

By the conclusion of his apology his posture had shrunken, his shoulders curling over. No matter ow appreciative of his apology you may have been seeing Ambrose shrinking in on himself was not something you could bare to watch so you moved silently to mirror his prior embrace, tucking his head into your chest. "Its okay Ro, I mean I was quite judgy. I could have bee-" he tugged himself away from you carefully before cupping your face in his hands. "No, please. There is nothing that you did, there was no part of this that was your fault and I cannot bare to think of you blaming yourself." His voice was hurried as he rushed through the words, but as he neared the end his voice changed, diminished into a tired whisper "So please, please just... don't." the final word was punctuated with a long kiss to your forehead, a tradition that was missed in the many years that had passed.

"Okay Ro, I won't, and thank you, truly, for your apology." You pull his head downwards so that his forehead rests on your own. "But now, please don't stress okay? We've lost enough time as it is" a sniffled hum did not satisfy as you pulled back, lifting his chin to force his eyes to meet your own as you raised a brow... "Seriously, Ambrose, let us not waste any more time. I forgive you, you daft idiot." Tugging his head down further you placed a kiss of your own to his forehead before stepping back. Clutching his hand in your own you tugged him towards his room eager to catch up on the years in-between.

Crashing onto the all too familiar cushions that lay always strewn across the floor, you struggled to pull your gaze from his form. In spite of spending over seventy years apart every spot and feature of his room remained the same, the only notable change lay in his presence, even while reclining in his own space he seemed to recede within himself. And yet reiterating your prior reassurance would surely be futile in the way of making him feel any more comfortable so you simply settled on acting as normal as you could manage.

"So... how is the coven fairing? I've heard your cousin is just as much trouble as we were in our day."

"Pssh, she is much worse than we could manage, but her intentions are better than ours were, much less trouble for troubles sake."

"Damn. speaking of trouble who took over after your uncle?" A dramatic and yet genuinely sour look came over his features as he spat out "Faustus Blackwood" as if the name itself was poisonous.

Your brows knitted together as did your lips as you pouted out an "Ew" Considering for a moment your next words were spoken in disbelief "Such a decision is inconceivable, what the what?"

"I agree my dear and yet..." his words trailed off for a moment before his enigmatic grin covered his face as it often did and he continued; "That was, of course, until Auntie Zelda took his position." His chest had puffed out at this point, clearly joyous to share the news. Your face was overtaken itself in a swarm of joy and outrage as you shot up from your seat as if determined to interrogate why Zelda had left that piece of major news out of your earlier conversation, this reaction of course only cause Ambrose's smile to grow impossibly wider.

A playful glare soon latched onto your features as you all but launched yourself into his arms, muttering out all sorts of childish insults in frustration as you pinched his cheeks, ending with a simple jibe of "Way to bury the lead Ro!"

Settling yourself on bringing the topic up later with the other Spellmans present you relented and tangled yourself alongside his limbs as you had done countless times, before you enquired instead as to his excursions after his house arrest had been lifted, at which point you were happily regaled with tales of dates, studies and adventures alongside his trouble-surrounded cousin.

Within what felt like a few moments, night had fallen and with it came the squealing of brakes and the scattering of gravel. Releasing a chuckle, you rose to your feet, lazily tugging Ambrose from the cushions and to your side as you started towards the foyer.

Only releasing his hand as you reached to tug open the door, glancing past the towering figure to the haphazardly parked car out front, you simply scoffed and cocked your head to the side. now looking up at the man if front of you as if confused by his lack of movement. Rocking back and forth on your heels you raised a mocking brow in his direction before jerking your head backwards into the house, all but inviting him in. Emphasis on the 'all but' as he remained stuck on the other side of the threshold. Sparing a glance to your side, you spotted Ambrose, his brows furrowed and his genuine confusion obvious as he looked between yourself and the blonde at the door.

Yet despite your gaze remaining on Ambrose you caught the briefest mutter of "bloody fuck" from the vamp, and turned your attention to him once again. "Well Spike, how was the casino? Lose all of our money already?"

An offended scoff fell from his lips as he fired back; "Course not love, Don't you trust me? Now come on, let's go inside ey?" drawing your face into a pinched expression you gazed to the sky in another bout of mocking consideration, you leave him hanging for an extended moment, until the sounds of the sisters entering the space drew all of your intention, apart from Ambrose who remained studying Spike who in turn met his gaze with a cocky wink.

It was almost laughable how fast the vampire's cocky and frustrated expression morphed into one of innocence as he greeted the women with flattery and kindness. It was just as you thought, the big softie was capable of not being a dick when it suited him best. Yet as soon as Hilda had invited him inside his smile briefly twisted into yet another one of his cockiest smirks as he shouldered past you.

"So you travel with our little one?"

"Yes, I am glad to say I do. And may I say thank you for lettin' me in. Someone was enjoying keeping me out in the cold."

"Troublesome as ever, I'm truthfully not surprised with all the chaos these two used to get into." Zelda mused as Hilda hummed in agreement;

"Always so cheeky these two"

Sharing a look with the man at your side as you rolled your eyes, you knocked your shoulder with his as you followed the other three from the door. Unsurprisingly Spike was arm in arm, flanked by both of the witches and that was pretty much how it remained from then on for the rest of the night as he regaled the women with adventures and stories of your travels, only pausing on occasion for your input as you lay, head resting on the shoulder of your old friend.

At that moment it felt as if no time had passed at all, and for tonight at least you wanted it to stay that way; complex feelings, bruised egos and ancient scars were an issue for tomorrow.

[singwith-love-at-our-throats]

looking for spuffy fic recs that are mostly just cute fluff pls

[denim-devil]

Do you write for buffy the vampire slayer characters?

Like some of the male characters x male reader? Nobody does and I've been looking!?

And do you write smut? Or fluff?

I do! I mainly write for Spike and Angel, I write both smut and fluff so go ahead and request if you’d like love!

[hatcherrys-blog]

Together by lostyourwar - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV) https://archiveofourown.org/works/60561049

[jupitermelichios]

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Spike & Buffy Summers, Spike (BtVS) & Joyce Summers, Willow Rosenberg & Spike, Tara Maclay & Spike, Xander Harris & Spike, Anya Jenkins & Spike, Spike & a literal cat Additional Tags: Character Study, Pets, Season 04, Pre-Spuffy, Friendship, Enemies to Friends, Comedy, Happy Ending, Spike Eats a Mouse, And Calls Himself Daddy Unironically, But Also to Terrorize Giles, Crack Treated Seriously

"Giles got turned into a cat?" Riley asks. "That guy can't catch a break." "Oh, no, common misconception," says Spike. "Rupert and human Rupert are different people."

Or: Spike adopts a very dumb orange cat who helps him experience the power of friendship and, more importantly, psychologically torment Giles.

Bookmarker's Notes:

This is it. This is my favourite Spike. No one will never top this.

[starchants]

hi! i don’t know if you write for spike (btvs) but could you maybe write dating spike hcs? sfw & nsfw?

hi my lil crow <3! i do most certainly write for our favorite lil bad boy spike, i hope you enjoy <3!

XOXO, CHESHIRE — depressingly this is shorter than my one with angel but that doesn’t mean that i don’t love him any less! i just literally ran out of headcanons at the moment cause my brain stopped working whoops! i could always expand upon him on a later date like i can with angel.

WRITING WARNINGS: lovely fluff, some hints of angst thrown in because of our beloved troublesome tortured poet and some nsfw content as well!

alright let’s state the obvious about our favorite troublesome poet : he will write tons of poems about you. his favorite topic to write about would be about love, at least i headcanon from his former human life, and so when he finds himself enthralled with you, you become his center focus in his beloved artship.

even if you do not like poetry, still please be supportive of him especially when you learn why he doesn't write his poetry as often as he used to when he was human. you see, in my personal headcanon, william (his human self of course) had been seen as too soft for a man as he liked the more feminine oddities such as : poetry, flowers, jewelry, fashion, and baking. mind you, this is all my personal headcanons as to why he was seen as soft.

so this vamp would adore you so so much more if you were to let him be himself and perhaps show interest in the oddities that he likes. obviously he would be the most supportive of you but if he was super supportive of you and didn't receive any back, i feel like he’d be put off of you despite how he feels towards you.

if you are an artistic soul like he is, spike would proudly marvel over your art — no matter how melancholy it might appear to be. he would goat about how his partner is the best at (insert your craft(s) here) and it would get to the point that the whole scooby gang would in-synchronicity claim "we know!" which would turn him into a blushing stuttering mess as he tries to play it off that he doesn't talk about your craft(s) that much. he contradicts himself sometimes as we all know.

he is the definition of a badass with a good soft heart. y'all get stuck out in the rain? he`s sacrificing his good leather and placing it over your head as he moves the pair of you underneath something where you would be dry and then y'all can watch the rain fall down upon sunnydale in a pretty lil art form. anyone happens to look at you in a wrong or potentially harmful way? spike is throwing hands with his vamp face out to scare them halfway to death before he even touches them. he`s a little protective over you, that`s all.

he’s obsessed with your touch. he’s severely touch deprived even if he doesn’t show it — please show him that he is capable of love, one that doesn’t surround around the madness of the woman who he believed to have been his soulmate before you came into his life. the man would be so touchy with you in private, especially if you did any hobbies of his that he loves — meaning baking of course! he would wrap his arms around your middle and use his hands to help you with anything you need for baking. definitely the type of man to put you on his feet and the pair of you penguin waddle together to put the trays in the oven for whatever you’re baking.

speaking of him being obsessed with your touch … time for a lil bit of nsfw 😈

spike is definitely a switch with a bratty sub lean, i mean literally just look at this vampire. he tries to act like a badass who is known for causing trouble over the years and yet if you play your cards just right you can turn him from a brat into your precious boy, but that takes a while. i tend to headcanon that even though drusilla loved him in the way she did, she never got to have him this way, and spike only trusts you to show this side of him. despite the trust, he will indeed make you work for it like i said previously. but you know how to handle your troublesome boy and how to practically turn him into a puddle with your mere touch overtime.

he’s definitely a mean service dom though when he is in a the dominant state of mind. man loves to torture you and deny your orgasms left and right only for a few turns though and then sends you over the edge quite a few times after that. he turns you into a total mess for his own pleasure but the aftercare is spectacular fr!

his version of aftercare is ; cleaning you up with a towel while smothering you with kisses all over as soon as he wipes down each and every spot upon your body, then he goes and gives you a drink (whether water or your favorite soda or alcoholic drink or maybe a blood bag if you’re a vampire like him — y’alls choice!) before he goes off to fill up a bath with the rainbow colored child bubbles that he found at the store the other day, and then he carries you in there once the bath is all filled. then he goes on to wash your body and hair for you while making sure that you’re genuinely alright with whatever occurred during your time together, then he asks you for whatever you want or need — his beloved flower’s wish is his command that he wishes never ends.

[spuffybaby]

Time to Heal (5)

chapter links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (6) (7)

Though the thought had not crossed her mind then, back in Sunnydale, Buffy figured she'd been few nights away from figuring out a way to be exactly in this position, Spike next to her in her bedroom instead of the basement, one hand behind his head to hold himself up on the pillow, the other holding a poetry collection from Dawn's room. His voice was lowered, Dawn was sleeping already, but Buffy heard it all perfectly clear, close enough as she kept her eyes closed, her head on the pillow, facing him. She felt relaxed, not just because Spike was there and because she no longer had to mourn him and the time they'd been robbed of, but because there was something soothing to his voice, beyond it just being him, the melodic tone in which he read so smoothly, the depth of his voice a contrast she didn't think she could grow tired of.

“Buffy?” He was quiet, had just concluded another poem, suspecting she'd fallen asleep.

Her eyes opened, half-lidded and fatigued, but her gaze met his as she looked up at him. “Spike?”

No matter how many times he heard it, he would never ever get enough of hearing her say his name, and the way she said it now, with her guard down and a softness he'd rarely ever had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of, he didn't deserve it. "Thought you were sleeping, pet,” he said.

“No,” she said, propping herself up onto her elbow, her face closer to his. “Don't wanna sleep yet.”

“Y'know you can,” he said. “I'll be here. Make sure you and your little bodyguard are alright.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “She missed you too, you know,” she said. “She always liked you.”

Spike chuckled. “I wouldn't say that. She once threatened to set me on fire.”

“She-” Buffy laughed. “I mean, I'm not surprised. She's protective. Like you.”

He raised his eyebrows. “'course I am,” he said.

“I never knew how much.”

The words were quiet, a mumble under her breath, but he'd heard her. “What d'you mean, love?” He tilted his head to the side, watching her closely.

“Dawn told me how you...” She took a deep breath. “When Faith took over before the battle... Dawn told me what you said when you found out that I was gone. That you stood up for me.”

“Oh, that,” he said. “Took me all I had not to go mental on them. Still can't believe all I did was fight Faith. I was ready to take 'em all on.”

Buffy watched the temporary anger in his features, then his face relax when he noticed the look in her eye.

“I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to, no matter what they'd done. Didn't matter. Had to give 'em a piece of my mind though.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“What did you expect?” he asked. “Told you how I felt every chance I got.”

She laughed quietly. “I know. Guess you're not the only one who finds these things hard to believe.” She shrugged. “Think I always thought you did good for me. To see. To show me.”

“In the beginning, yeah.” He shook his head. “But I told you then, I don't just want you. I want you to have what you want. I want to make sure you're safe, that you're happy.”

She blinked back at him. “You want me?” she asked before she could stop herself. “Still?”

Spike's brows furrowed. “Buffy.”

“Spike.” She waited.

He huffed out a laugh. “C'mon. You know the answer.”

“I don't,” she said.

He shuffled to sit up, placing the book at the end of her bed. “What would make you think I ever stopped?”

She felt her cheeks grow warmer. “Well, you used to tell me you were alright and not to worry. When I went on dates. You know, I... I just thought-”

“Buffy.” He shook his head. “Listen. My love for you might have changed when I got my soul, but I never stopped wanting you. Hell, the opposite if anything. Getting my soul showed me how much it meant for you to choose me, to trust me enough. It let me see so much more of you.” His jaw tensed. “Never think I don't want you.” His eyes were wide, the intensity in them keeping her hanging on to his every word. “I just learned to let you take the lead, make your choices.”

Buffy moved up so she was sat up on her knees, without hesitation she reached to cup the back of his neck and brought his face to hers, before he knew it her lips were pressed to his and it took everything he had to maintain his self-control, to not lose himself. 'Boy, would it hurt,' he thought. 'if she changes her mind.' It wasn't like he thought it wasn't worth it, it was what she wanted and that was enough, but he wanted it so badly, even if it meant just this one moment, he'd rather have that than nothing at all. Never would he have forgot the taste of her, but licking her lip, feeling her tongue, it was everything he hadn't thought he'd ever get to have again.

His hands were flat on the bed behind him and he moved closer to her, shifting to cup the back of her head, before he knew he held a fistful of her hair, moaned forcing her lips apart and when he heard a similar sound from her, he was gone, lost in her, there was nothing but the sweet smell of her skin and her hair, nothing but the taste of sugar and the sound of her wanting him.

He stopped himself, ever-scared of the moment where he couldn't. Though he was certain he wouldn't have had to because of her initiation, it was a risk he wasn't willing to take. They'd come so far and he wouldn't put it on the line. He knew he was a different man, but what he'd done to her before he'd got his soul back, it haunted him more than most demonic acts. Nothing in him thought he could do that to her again.

Her eyes opened, wide, surprised. “Are you sure?”

He'd have been out of breath if he could have been. “Don't let this be the only way I can prove it to you,” he pleaded. “I promise you it's not that I don't want you, I just-”

“You need time,” she nodded. She leaned back, sat on her feet.

He moved his hand to cup the side of her face, his thumb smoothing over her cheek. “Don't you?” He pursed his lips. “With this second, well, third chance we've got...” He gave her a small smile. “I want to do this right. You've got to understand... I can't risk any other way. That's how badly I want you.” The way she leaned into the touch of his palm almost broke him. “And you deserve things to be right.”

“Stay with me?” she asked. “Up here.”

His lips parted and he stared at her for a brief moment. Instead of speaking, he went to lie back again, extending his arm across the pillow. Seconds later, she was curled up to his side, his arm around her, her arm over him, her front pressed to his side, her head on his shoulder. It was the unique scent of him and the way he held her in a way that made her feel so well taken care of that she doubted anyone could ever compare. With his coat hung over the chair in the corner and his boots at the bottom of her bed, she hoped he'd fall asleep right beside her. But she wasn't ready yet.

“Thank you for reading to me.”

She could hear his smile in his voice. “My pleasure, pet.”

“You really like poetry.”

He chuckled. “Used to write it, didn't I?”

She opened his eyes, but his were closed, remaining so. “When you were human.”

He hummed. “After too. But I haven't since I... came back.”

“Would you read it to me?” She closed her eyes again.

To her surprise, he stayed quiet for a moment. “I don't know. Never got great feedback,” he said after a while.

He'd confessed his love for her in so many ways so openly, had been devoted to her for so long and yet, she felt if she continued to ask him about his past, about him, it would make him as hesitant as asking him to read to her in the first place had.

“If we do this the right way,” she said quietly. “You have to tell me about you. I mean, I want to know. Who you were. Who you are.”

“Buffy, love...” He opened his eyes, saw her face against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You know. Just a man who would do anything for you, striving to be what you deserve. And...” It took him a moment to continue, it was different to say these things that she could really hear, that she really took in now. “I'm an open book to you. I'll tell you whatever you want.”

She shuffled slightly, just enough to be able to reach the skin of his throat with her lips, pressing a kiss to his adam's apple. “Tell me you know you deserve me. And better.”

He opened his mouth, but she cut him off.

“And mean it,” she added.

He sighed, his arm tightening around her as he settled on the pillow. “Oh, Buffy.”

[unendingwanderlust]

It's a blackout! Bingo card from @feedthefandomfest.

All the fics I read and commented on (aka massive fic rec list!) below the cut!

Fandoms: 12 Tolkien (Lord of the Rings, Silmarillion, the Hobbit) fics, 11 Buffy the Vampire Slayer fics, and a couple of Lost Girl fics because I'm nostalgic.

Sex Pollen/Fuck or Die: The Art of Control by zombiesam (BtVS, Buffy/Giles, 5056 words)

Giles and Buffy are stuck in the library together after a succubus blasts them with a particularly nasty poison. Giles learns a thing or two about Buffy along the way.

Threesome: How Drusilla Saved Christmas by TheClowniestLivInExistence (BtVS, Drusilla/Buffy/Spike, 3070 words)

Drusilla doesn't want to spend Christmas alone. She doesn't want her Spike to be alone, either. Unfortunately, he was a silly boy and hadn't managed to romance the Slayer yet. But no worries. Mummy knows how to fix things.

Shower Sex: A Quiet Moment by eurydice72 (BtVS, Buffy/Spike, 1003 words)

When you come back from the dead, quiet moments are hard to find.

Sex Magic: Grave Clothes by Skyson (BtVS, Buffy/Giles, 7272 words)

Giles used magic to help Willow feel again. He helps Buffy with that, too. It's Grave, but shippy. Well, more shippy than canon already was.

Angst & Fluff & Smut: Where Do Dwarves Go When They Die? by LittleMissCactus (LotR, Gimli/Legolas, 1262 words)

Legolas begins to understand the implications of what it means to love a mortal. Gimli comforts him the only way he knows how.

Size Difference: Lazy Day by starlightwalking (LotR, Gimli/Legolas, 1742 words)

Legolas insists on spending all day in bed.

Rough Sex: Don't trust the Fae by Ben_Phantomhive (LotR, Boromir/Legolas, 1921 words)

Legolas catches Boromir taking care of himself when he should be on watch, so he decides to help him.

Fingering: A House of Nettles by Ias (LoTR/Silmarillion, Tar-Míriel/Éowyn, 6494 words)

Éowyn is not healed. Inside of her, something hungry lives on.

BDSM: Blood to Iron by Tyellas (Silmarillion, Maedhros/Fingon, 3703 words)

The origin story for "Ansereg AU" slash, featuring Fingon, Maedhros, and elegant, deliberate sadomasochism.

Public/Semi-Public Sex: Sweet (Enough to Eat) by zombiesam (BtVS, Buffy/Giles, 1935 words)

Buffy discovers something new about herself when Giles gets into one of his moods.

Dom/sub (undertones): fairest maiden in tirion by Anonymous (Silmarillion, Curufin/Finrod, 1000 words)

Findaráto blinked at him and smiled sweetly; in that rotten way that Findaráto did anything sweetly in the first place, his eyes cold and too bright. “You must be so very displeased you couldn’t marry me, Curvo."

[Mommy] Kink: kiss it better by TechnicolorRevel (BtVS, Faith/Buffy, 2438)

Buffy jams her finger, and Faith teaches her something new about herself.

FREE: WICKED COOL by Val_Creative (BtVS, Willow/Vampire!Willow, 700 words)

Vampire Willow doesn't know how the hell she got here, but she's enjoying this new side of Willow.

Drunk Sex: Staying Alive by hchollym (LotR, Aragorn/Gimli/Legolas, 5128 words)

After the victory at Helm’s Deep, the Three Hunters celebrate still being alive for another night.

Sex Toys: The Edge of Flames by BaccaratBlack (Silmarillion, Elwing/Maedhros, 5687 words)

After ages together as unlikely companions on Elwing’s lonely isle, she has her ways of both comforting and haunting Maedhros.

Orgasm Delay: the face of someone (i don't know) by guin_ramble and zombiesam (BtVS, Giles/Buffy, 9593 words so far)

Buffy, newly resurrected and in the throes of depression, seeks comfort in all the wrong places. When her despairs threatens to completely overwhelm her, she turns to the person she trusts most.

Rimming: Aphrodite Awakening by BaccaratBlack (Silmarillion, Celegorm/Oromë, 1298 words)

Celegorm is not above playing a little dirty to get what he wants. Orome, as usual, is tired and underestimates Celegorm’s intensity when it comes to sex.

Shameless Smut: On Borrowed Time by Arbryna (Lost Girl, Bo/Tamsin, 1557 words)

What if the time loop didn't restart as quickly as we thought?

[Blood] Play: kiss that’s black as sea by evesock (BtVS, Wishverse!Buffy/Vampire!Willow, 4879 words)

Buffy hooks up with a vampire in a sleazy motel. Written for Otherworldly Chemistry's Femslash Ficathon!

PWP: Beyond the pale by Morgause1 (Silmarillion, Morgoth/Sauron, 4841 words)

Freshly promoted to the position of First Lieutenant, Mairon gets the dubious honor of standing guard in the rare occasions the Vala retires to his bed. This is a strange, disconcerting duty, which leaves the Maia thinking and feeling things that are not only highly improper, but are downright dangerous.

Phone Sex: Warmest Part of the Winter by dollylux (The Hobbit, Bard/Thranduil, 11315 words)

Thranduil has to leave town suddenly for work, leaving Bard with their four kids.

Fluff & Smut: The Best Gift... by ElleV (BtVS, Buffy/Giles, 4556 words)

Some might say the best gift is a gift for two.

Come Eating/Swallowing: lukhdel by enbyofdionysus (The Hobbit, Bilbo/Thorin, 4048 words)

"Your fourteenth share," said Thorin, running his hand along the side of his cock. "If you should want it, Master Burglar." Bilbo fucks Thorin on the hoard of Thror.

Double Penetration: Finished by girlpire (BtVS, Darla/Angelus/Spike/Drusilla, 1443 words)

As often happens when William engages in a new-to-him sexual activity with his family, he doesn't really understand what's going on at first.

Or: Sometimes people say it's hard to get Angelus to take it up the ass in fic. I present a counterpoint.

Oral Sex: But Not Like That by LittleRock17 (Lost Girl, Bo/Tamsin, 8710 words)

Bo made her way towards the woman, hiding in the nearby crowd since the blonde was looking around, trying to find the brave or rather stupid person that just bought her a drink. She gave up and glared at the bartender, who just raised his shoulders, making her know he wasn’t going to talk. Finally, the blonde picked up the martini and when she was about to drink, Bo made her entrance. "I thought you weren't taking any drinks from strangers." The Succubus said playfully. The glass never touched the blonde’s lips. "Bo." She left the drink on the counter and turned around to face the younger fae. "It hasn't been so long... I thought you would remember how I like my vodka." Her trademark smirk present on her face. . . . Being in a Dark Fae bar on Valentine's Day was depressing but Bo's hunger couldn't wait. She expected to find someone - anyone - to satisfie her hunger with but she never imagined she would get so lucky. Or maybe she did not. Valkubus.

[royalxenawolf]

x Reader Writing Info

Writing Info!

Hey everyone Xena here and this is My writing info page/post

This has all the important stuff on who I write for what I will write and what I will not write, and yes requests are open but i do ask that you understand that i will take my time when filling requests so that i do not get overwhelmed

When you make a request if a gender is not specified like male reader or female reader then I will just write the reader as gender-neutral also if pronouns are not specified then I will write that they use they/them pronouns

Also when it comes to requests there is no limit on how many requests a individual person can make at a time all I ask is that you understand that it might take me a little bit to get to each individual request and write something for it but there are no limits so request away I actually really like getting requests and I try to fulfill them to the best of my abilities

a request that includes a prompt is really helpful but not completely necessary

Now on to all the other info

What I will write:

Character x Reader(Female, Male, Gender-neutral, it'll probably mostly be female and or gender-neutral in the beginning because I've only ever wrote female and gender-neutral and never male but I am willing to try, so please bear with me as I learn)

SFW

NSFW 🔞

ABO/Omegaverse

Fluff/cute stuff/really sweet romantic stuff/really cute friend or sibling stuff

Platonic relationships(they view you as a friend, a parental figure, a child(they are parental towards you) or a young/older sibling)

Ploy-relationships(as long as it is not any kind of incest)

Headconons

Some kinky stuff(if you make a request for something and I'm not comfortable writing for it, then I will not write for it, I am not going to throw away my own comfort and boundaries to fill a request)

AU's

What I will not write:

Dub-con or non-con(no, just no)

Knife play or anything involving a sharp object in that type of setting really

Yandere(I have nothing against this I actually do like a good yandere fanfic but I personally just don't think I would be good at writing them)

any kind of romantic or sexual type of fanfic for a character that is underage!!

What I will write for(might add more later):

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Supernatural

Teen Wolf

Who I write for(might add more later):

Marauders Era

Love and Deepspace

SFW

BtVS Spike

Rupert Giles

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Scott McCall

Derek Hale

Stiles Stilinski

James Potter

Sirius Black

NSFW 🔞

Remus Lupin

Lads Rafayel

Lads Zayne

Lads Sylus

BtVS Spike

Dean Winchester

Derek Hale

James Potter

Sirius Black

Platonic relationships

Remus Lupin

Lads Rafayel

Lads Zayne

Lads Sylus

BtVS Spike

BtVS Rupert Giles

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Scott McCall

Derek Hale

Stiles Stilinski

Buffy Summers

Joyce Summers

Melissa McCall

Noah Stilinski

Bobby Singer

Jody Mills

James Potter

Sirius Black

And that brings us to the end of the post! happy requesting!

Remus Lupin

Lads Rafayel

Lads Zayne

Lads Sylus

[thepsychoticqueen]

Summary: What would have happened if Spike went to Angel after getting chipped, instead of Buffy? The past and the present collide within, and some memories won't stay buried.

Flashbacks to times long past, abandonment issues, a ton of anger, and angst galore all wait for you inside. Spike still yearns for Angelus, but it's Angel he needs right now.

This is a story of dark and light. There's torture, and pain. But there is also comfort, and warm fuzzy feelings. These boys have a lot of problems to work out, and it's not going to happen quickly. The meaning of a soul, of a demon - as well as the evils of humans and vampires alike, can all be found within. I hope you all enjoy.

More fic information below the line. Happy reading! 🩶

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: Multi, M/M

Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series

Relationships:

Angel/Spike, Angelus/Spike (BtVS), Angelus/Drusilla (BtVS), Angelus/Darla (BtVS), Drusilla/Spike, Angelus/Drusilla/Spike (BtVS)

Characters:

Spike (BtVS), Angel (BtVS), Winifred "Fred" Burkle, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Charles Gunn, Drusilla (BtVS), Darla (AtS), Cordelia Chase, Krevlornswath | Lorne, Maggie Walsh

Additional Tags:

Fanged Four, Hurt Spike, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Past Torture, Chipped Spike, Aftermath of Torture, Dark, But also fluffy-ish, Mentions of Rape, So much angst, Torture, Psychological Torture, Post-Episode: s04e07 The Initiative, Fluff, Angst, Historical, Somewhat

Language: English

Published: 2016-04-08

Completed: 2016-05-06

Words: 51,095

Chapters: 19/19

Comments: 182

Kudos: 622

Bookmarks: 161

Hits: 19,035

[thevikingwoman]

Author Interview

tagged by @galadrieljones thank you!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

57

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

197,188

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Dragon Age, Uprooted (Naomi Novik), Wayfarer IF, Final Fantasy XIV.

only the latter two in the past year.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Temporal Arrangements (Dragon Age Inquistion, Solavellan, E) Time Travel canon-divergent AU

Home (Uprooted - Naomi Novik, Sarkan/Agnieszka, T) Canon coda

Ar Lath Ma (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solavellan, T)  Post canon fix it fix

Pies (Uprooted - Naomi Novik, Sarkan/Agnieszka, M ) post happily ever after domestic fluff

Temerity (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solavellan, E) post canon enemies/not really enemies bdsm smut

5. do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to all of them! I love getting comments and when I comment I love getting replies on comments myself.

I may forget though, and I'm sorry! I love comments

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

God Slayer (Solavellan, T) I really like this one.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings, though I really like them with a tinge of uncertainty or bittersweetness.

the most straight up happily ever after is probably Hay, (Solavellan, E) which is just a very self-indulgent little happy fic.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I ever had?

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I do write smut! I love writing smut, it's such a good challenge and it makes me happy. I love characterization through smut - and it's such an interesting way to do characterization. That said, sometimes I'm just thirsty and I want to see two characters smash. I'm not pretentious about it. I'm here to have fun and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to read or write porn.

I write all sort of smut? I do love playing with power dynamics in sex scenes.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

The closest I've written is Comfort, a Solavellan vampire fic, which uses some BtVS lore? It's not crazy tho!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of either. I think I'd be a little apprehensive.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope. I'm not sure how i'd do that? writing feels like a solitary thing, even when asking for feedback and input.

The closest is a shared timeline/ideas where my OC interact with another person's OC and both of us wrote in the same continuity.

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

hmmm. Once I've not written for and probably never will, Spike/Buffy.

if it's writing for, I'd say it's still Solavellan.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I think if I want to finish it, I will? I have some old WIPs, but the reason I'm not finishing them is lack of want? Do or do not kinda thing I think.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I've told I've had good pacing. I think I write pretty good smut.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions? I tend to not want want to describe things. I'm also not great at moving characters through space - he went to the door, he looked out etc? I tend to slip into passive voice when writing characters moving around unless it's combat action or sex.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

nope.

"Hello," he said in Spanish

is perfectly valid.

A few short words like endearments - where the speaker would use a specific term in a different language than what's spoke is fine. Items that are specific and not translatable and would typically be borrowed words in a different language are fine too (kimono. computer. kayak)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age

20. favourite fic you've written?

This is SO hard. I was just looking at some old fics I really really love?

but I think right now, I'll pick my newest fic, Passing Through (wol/Tansui, E) because I love it very much and I had so much fun with it.

tagging @myreia @roguelioness @coldshrugs @allaganexarch @bearlytolerant @buttsonthebeach @scionshtola @galadae @wickedwitchofthewilds @redinkofshame @ellstersmash and @kittlesandbugs and anyone else who wants to! tag me!