#oh another one i kind of liked was When Day Breaks
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imsofreakingtired · 1 day ago
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barges through the wall like the kool-aid man
Buy Sevika flowers.
Please. Please she probably never received a beautiful bouquet before and I desperately yearn for soft hours with Sevika
SHE SO DESERVES FLOWERS I AGREE I AGREE
i will take good care of you
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content warning(s): none
"and all the quiet nights you bear seal them up with care no one needs to know they're there for i will hold them for you."
~~~
** set post canon, Councilor!Sevika x reader. because oh my god i cannot accept that she’s all alone in there **
~~~
You stand in the doorway. Sevika hasn’t seen you yet. 
She is at her desk, the way she is every night. The desk of rich Noxian wood, inlaid with swirling patterns of gold. The desk came with the apartment, which came with the seat at the Council, which came with a new kind of fight that you had to watch Sevika go through day after day. 
The battles were won, the losses counted, the blood spilled and cities destroyed and rebuilt. Ambessa was dead. Hextech destroyed. The sister cities were forced to reconcile in the face of the realization that they had come very, very close to the end of the world. 
Piltover is quiet at night. Nothing like the undercity, where you would hear fights breaking out on the streets every hour of the day, drunks wailing from filthy doorsteps, dogs howling in the alleyways. No; Piltover was like a slumbering golden beast. 
And your Sevika, the new leader of the underdogs, the voice of the city the two of you had grown up in—the city that never slept. If Piltover was the idle lion, Zaun was the hungry wolf. You see the hunger still in your wife’s eyes. You see how she charges into every debate, every argument at the Council Table the same way she charged into battle years ago. Every reform, every proposal she makes, is met with a near unanimous opposition. A mandate that would have taken half a day to pass from a Piltover Counselor took weeks when it came from the Zaunite Counselor. 
Sevika has hung up the arm Jinx had made for her on the wall behind her desk, and it gleams in the lamplight like a trophy. Still she hasn’t noticed you—she is poring over the files on her desk, the endless paperwork awaiting her every night seeming to have no end. 
You want to take her in your hands tenderly, you want to crush the burdens she carries into an insignificant ball. You want to tell her to rest. But you've learned Sevika didn't like words that have no meaning: she cannot rest, and you and Sevika both know this. 
So you show it through actions. 
You walk up to her, standing behind her. She glances up briefly. 
“How was the academy today?” 
“Fine,” you say. “The pupils learn fast.”
“Hm.” She is preoccupied with the paperwork. You rest your hands on her shoulders and find them tight with tension. Your fingers knead her muscles, their strength making her groan involuntarily. 
“You work too hard.” 
She laughs dryly. Her prosthetic arm is off—the new one she bought from the Piltover mechanic, a simple and elegant arm of light gold, no weaponry assets. She’s still wearing the formal cape, and from where you’re standing she looks smaller and wearier than you remember. 
“Come to bed,” you say, massaging the tension out of her neck. You feel her relax at your touch, the muscles softening beneath her warm skin. 
“In a minute.” 
“Not in a minute. Now.” 
“You go ahead, baby.” She sighs. “I have to get this done.” 
You never feel so helpless as in moments like these, when she seemed to be trapped between one duty and another, when it felt like the world expected your wife to be everywhere at once, doing everything at the same time. 
You don’t know how to ease her load. There just seemed to be no end to it. You try to think of the last time you saw her smile, really smile, and find you can’t remember. 
You look around her office. The walls are plain, devoid of paintings. Besides Jinx’s mechanical arm on the wall, there isn’t much to relieve the somber atmosphere. 
“Sevika,” you say suddenly, “what are your favorite flowers?”
“Flowers?” she repeats in an absent tone, looking over a text on trade policy. “I don’t know. I don’t think much about flowers.” 
A pause, and she looks up at you, as if surprised to see your question was serious. 
“I remember picking moonflowers when I was small,” she says. 
“Moonflowers?”
“Yeah, the pale blue ones that grew near the mines. The only things that could survive in that air. More weeds than anything.” She shrugs. “I remember picking one a day to give to my mom when she came back from work. She never threw them away, even after they wilted. Then one day she didn’t come home at all.”
You squeeze her shoulder. Her mother had died in a cave-in at the mines when she was young. You had lost your own parents to the same kind of accident. 
Sevika looks at you, amusement in her eyes. “I don’t remember the last time we ever talked about something like flowers.” 
~~~
The next day you ask your academy supervisor permission to take off work early. Since you have no afternoon classes anyway, the permission is granted. You walk briskly down to the marketplace and go into the florist’s shop. 
When you ask the leopard vastaya man at the counter for a bouquet of moonflowers, he shakes his head. “Those are just weeds from the undercity. I don’t sell them in bouquets. You can buy a full bouquet including them as decoration.” 
“I want only the moonflowers. You can take them out of every bouquet and gather them together, I’ll pay however much it costs.”
He looks at you as if you’re crazy, but he sets to work. You leave the shop fifteen minutes later with a bunch of moonflowers in gleaming wax paper tied with a ribbon. They are beautiful with notes of gray, and in flashes they hold the same color as Sevika’s eyes. They look like hope. They look like Zaun. 
When Sevika comes home that night you present them to her with a tentative smile. All day you’ve angled them this way and that in her office, changing the vase twice to try to find the right look. You’re not sure if she would even like the gift, or if she would find it painful. 
Sevika stares at you. “What’s this?” 
“Moonflowers,” you say dumbly. Both of you can clearly see that. You can’t read her expression, and you start to feel nervous. “I just wanted…I wanted to make you feel lighter.” 
Lighter. Happier. You want to give her the world. You want to give her the moon, the stars, the warmth of your very soul. You want to show her she is not alone in this fight. 
Sevika takes the flowers and buries her nose in them, eyes closed. Then she looks up at you. “They’re beautiful,” she says, her voice husky.
Sevika sees her childhood in their petals. She sees the hope in the heart of the little girl inside her. She sees the wrinkles of her mother’s tired smile. She sees the bright eyes of young Zaunite children. 
“Sevika,” you say, worried, “Sevika, are you crying?” 
She wipes roughly at her eyes, giving you a smile as genuine as sunlight. “No, darling. Thank you.”
~~~
note: ah...this was meant to be fluff but it turned out angstier than i intended... i can still call it fluff if it involves flowers right...?
thank you @demothers-empty-blog for the req :)
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404creep · 9 hours ago
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Oh my lord y'all are so into Simon and his little cleaning lady so I had to make more. Working on a series of one shots I'll eventually start posting with this pairing because I genuinely think they're so cute. In the meantime here is part 3 of my little drabble series for y'all!
Previous Next Series masterlist
The first time you actually speak to Ghost is during one of your lunch breaks.
He shows up for his daily fix of "watching Birdie like a fucking creepy stalker weirdo" and there you are munching on a sandwich at the table.
He kinda just walks over and sets a little package of cookies on the table and then steps back again, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed content to watch you enjoy your meal.
You look at the cookies, look at him, look at the cookies, look at him
You decided right then and there that if he wasn't going to do anything but watch it was up to you to initiate conversation.
So you sigh and push the chair next to you out while taking another big bite of your sandwich.
You kinda just gesture with your head for him to sit and he blinks at you a few times before slowly putting his large frame into the chair cautiously
as if you were the giant masked stalker that he should be cautious of or something
After he sits you just kinda start talking
He didn't contribute to the conversation much besides an occasional head nod and low hum when you say something in particular that he agrees with
By the end of it he's got his elbow on the table with his chin resting in his palm with eyes that are saying "I love you"
You know that audio from the Lego Movie that's like "blah blah blah proper name place name backstory stuff", yeah that's Simon.
Like bro is trying to listen I swear to god but mostly he's just so focused on the fact that you're talking to him.
When your lunch finally ends he just kind of trails behind you like a puppy ready to do literally anything for you.
Tries to take the mop out of your hands and do it himself and you swat him away and keep insisting it's your job and you can do your own work
About 30 more minutes of him glued to your side you kinda crack and smile at him and are like "you really like me, huh?"
His brain like short circuits cause how did you POSSIBLY figure it out??????
He follows you around for another hour before you shoo him away to go and do his own actual job.
He's in a very good mood when he returns to his office
Price comes in to drop off some paperwork for him at some point and he's kinda humming to himself.
Price is like "Something good happen today??"
Simon's just kinda shrugs, but in Price's eyes it's the equivalent of him kicking his lil feeties and twirling his hair.
Price figures it has something to do with you and just cracks a smile and leaves.
He's happy to see Simon happy.
By the end of the day Simon is literally thinking about what kind of ring you might want when he proposes
Like chill dude, y'all basically had your first conversation today......
He's just so cute
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cosmiclily · 2 days ago
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chapter five: a quiet place
wc: 2.5k
Archie gave the four of you a week to rest, a much-needed break after the whirlwind of shows and the final concert in LA. He assured you he’d spend that time sorting through the offers from record labels, narrowing down the best options for the band to consider. For now, all you had to do was recharge.
You spent the first half of the week at home, a luxury you hadn’t had in what felt like ages. Your small apartment had never seemed so welcoming—or so quiet. The faint scent of lavender lingered in the air from a candle you’d left burning, and sunlight filtered through the sheer curtains, casting soft patterns on the walls.
You devoted much of your time to tending to your plants, which, to your surprise, had survived your absence. The little jungle you’d cultivated in your living room was a mix of vibrant greens and delicate blooms, and caring for them brought a sense of calm you didn’t realize you needed.
Another bright spot of your week was Margaret, your neighbor who lived just down the hall. She was the kind of person who seemed to have endless energy and warmth, always ready with a smile and a story. When she heard you were home, she knocked on your door with a plate of fresh-baked goods—a mix of buttery cookies and warm banana bread that melted in your mouth.
“Thought you could use some real food after all that fast living,” she teased, her eyes twinkling. “I saw some of the videos from your concert. My grandson showed me—oh, you all were fantastic!”
You smiled, feeling an unexpected wave of gratitude. “Thanks, Margaret. It’s good to be back. And these look amazing, as always.”
She gave you a knowing look as you took the plate. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself, dear. Fame or no fame, it’s important to stay grounded.”
Margaret reminded you so much of your mom, and the resemblance tugged at something deep inside you. It had been months since you last spoke to her. The silence between you started after that explosive fight with your dad—the one where he’d said things you couldn’t forget, let alone forgive. What stung even more was how your mom had stayed quiet, never once standing up for you.
You’d replayed that moment countless times, wondering why she hadn’t defended you. Did she agree with him? Or was she too afraid to speak out? Either way, it had created a chasm between you, one that felt harder to cross with each passing day.
As you sat on your couch that evening, the warmth of Margaret’s banana bread lingering on your tongue, you found yourself staring at your phone. Your thumb hovered over your mom’s contact, the urge to call her battling against your pride. You wanted to tell her about the band’s success, about LA, about how far you’d come despite everything.
Before you could make a decision, the sharp buzz of your doorbell startled you, cutting through the quiet. Frowning, you glanced at the clock. It was almost 8 p.m., and you weren’t expecting anyone—especially on a Thursday. You set your phone down and got up, padding toward the door.
As you unlocked it and pulled it open, a pair of familiar blue eyes stared back at you.
“Vi,” you said, a little surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey,” she replied, her voice softer than usual as she shifted her weight awkwardly. She held a crumpled notebook in one hand, her other stuffed into the pocket of her hoodie. “Can I come in?”
You stepped aside, opening the door wider. “Sure. Come on in.”
Vi stepped into your apartment, glancing around as though she hadn’t been here dozens of times before. She seemed hesitant, almost out of place in the cozy atmosphere of your living room. She hovered near the edge of the couch, not quite sitting down yet.
“What do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” you asked, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe. There was no malice in your tone, just genuine curiosity. Vi wasn’t the type to show up unannounced.
She shrugged, holding up the notebook. “I, uh... I had some lyrics I wanted to show you. I know we’ve got the meeting on Sunday, but these have been bouncing around in my head, and I figured... you know. Might as well share them now.”
You raised an eyebrow, motioning for her to sit. “Couldn’t wait, huh?”
Vi gave a small smirk, finally sinking onto the couch. “Not really. You know how it is—when something’s stuck in your brain, it’s hard to let it go.”
You nodded, sitting across from her in the armchair. “Yeah, I get that. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
She hesitated for a moment before handing you the notebook. The pages were a little worn, with scribbled notes and scratched-out lines in the margins. You could tell she’d been working on this for a while.
As you read, the words began to take shape in your mind. The lyrics were raw, filled with the kind of emotion Vi always managed to channel so well. There were hints of longing, heartbreak, and even a glimmer of hope. It was personal—maybe the most personal thing she’d written in a long time.
“These are... really good, Vi,” you said, looking up at her. “Like, really good. Where did this come from?”
She shrugged again, avoiding your gaze. “I don’t know. Just... stuff I’ve been feeling, I guess. Thought maybe we could use it for something.”
You studied her for a moment. There was something vulnerable about her tonight, a softness that was usually hidden behind her tough exterior. “Are these about Caitlyn?” you asked gently.
Vi tensed slightly but nodded. “Yeah. I mean, not just about her, but... yeah. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. About how I handled stuff, how I didn’t handle stuff. Writing helps, you know?”
You gave her a small smile. “Yeah, I do. And for what it’s worth, I think this is some of your best work. We can definitely do something with it.”
She looked up at you then, a flicker of relief in her eyes. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure if it was... too much.”
“Not at all,” you assured her. “If anything, it’s exactly what we need right now. It’s honest.”
Vi leaned back against the couch, letting out a breath she seemed to have been holding. “Good. That’s... good. I’m glad.”
For a moment, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging between you. Finally, Vi spoke again.
“I’m trying, you know,” she said quietly. “To get my shit together. For the band, but also... for myself.”
You met her gaze, nodding. “I can see that. And I’m proud of you, Vi. We all are.”
She gave you a small, lopsided smile. “Thanks. That means a lot.”
As the evening wore on, the two of you ended up talking about the band, the tour, and everything in between. By the time Vi finally left, it was almost midnight, and you felt a strange sense of peace. Maybe things weren’t perfect, but they were getting better. Slowly, piece by piece, you were all finding your way.
──────────────────────
When Sunday finally came around, anxiety settled into your chest like a weight you couldn’t shake. You gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary as you drove to the office, glancing at the cup holder where your coffee sat untouched and lukewarm. The faint aroma teased you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take even one sip. Everything about this day felt too important, too heavy.
This was it—the moment where dreams started to take shape or collided with reality. For the first time, the success of the band didn’t just feel like an abstract goal; it was a tangible possibility. And that made it all the more terrifying.
You tried to rehearse what you wanted to say to Archie in your head, but the words felt clunky and insincere. You knew what you wanted—needed, really—from a label. Creative freedom, no stifling expectations, no cookie-cutter demands to fit into a box someone else built for you. But deep down, you also knew the truth: success would come with compromises. Some decisions would be out of your control, and you’d have to live with that.
As you pulled into the parking lot, your heart sank when you saw Vi’s motorcycle already parked outside. Of course she’d be early—before her crash out she was always the one to show up first, as if it gave her a sense of control over things she couldn’t actually control. You grabbed your coffee, even though it was too cold to drink, and headed inside.
The office was buzzing with a nervous energy. Jinx was perched on the edge of a couch, twirling a pen between her fingers while humming a tune under her breath. Ekko was leaned over a table covered in notes and printouts, his brow furrowed as if he were mentally weighing every pro and con of the offers. Vi was off to the side, standing by the window with her arms crossed, staring out at nothing in particular.
“Morning,” you said, your voice quieter than intended.
Vi glanced over her shoulder and gave a quick nod, her expression unreadable. Jinx shot you a grin. “Hey! Ready to sell your soul today?” she joked, though the edge in her voice betrayed her own nervousness.
“Hardly,” you muttered, setting your coffee down on the table near Ekko. “Where’s Archie?”
“Conference room,” Ekko replied without looking up. “He said he’ll call us in once everything’s set up.”
You nodded and took a seat, trying to ignore the knots twisting in your stomach. The wait felt eternal, though it was probably only ten minutes before Archie emerged, clipboard in hand, and waved you all into the room.
Once inside, you saw a stack of neatly organized folders waiting on the table. Archie gestured for everyone to sit before he took his place at the head of the table.
“All right,” he began, his tone businesslike but not without a hint of excitement. “Here’s the deal: I’ve gone through all the offers we’ve received, narrowed them down to the ones I think are the best fit, and flagged a few for us to discuss in more detail. But before we dive in, I need to know what you all want out of this. What’s most important to you?”
You hesitated for a moment, glancing around the table. Jinx looked eager to dive into the discussion, Ekko was calm and composed, and Vi... well, Vi just looked tired.
Finally, you cleared your throat and spoke up. “Creative freedom. That’s the biggest thing for me. I don’t want us to lose what makes us us just to fit into someone else’s expectations. But...” You hesitated, forcing yourself to meet Archie’s gaze. “I also know we might have to give up some things to make this work. I just don’t want us to lose everything.”
Archie nodded thoughtfully, jotting something down on his clipboard. “That’s fair. Anyone else?”
Ekko chimed in, echoing your concerns but adding a focus on long-term stability. Jinx mentioned wanting a label that could help expand their reach while still letting them experiment with their sound. Vi stayed quiet for most of the discussion, only speaking up when Archie pressed her.
“I just don’t want us to get screwed over,” she said bluntly. “I’ve heard enough horror stories to know how this can go wrong.”
Archie nodded again, his expression serious. “Trust me, I’ve kept that in mind. The deals on the table aren’t perfect, but none of them will put you in a position where you’re signing away your lives.”
As the discussion continued, you found yourself feeling more at ease. The anxiety didn’t disappear entirely, but hearing everyone’s thoughts—and knowing Archie was in your corner—made the weight on your chest a little lighter.
By the end of the meeting, you had all mostly settled on one label, a decision that somehow balanced what each of you wanted without compromising too much. The label promised creative freedom, a reasonable timeline for releases, and a hands-off approach when it came to shaping your sound—a rarity in the industry. Archie, ever the organized manager, said he would arrange a meeting with the label’s director for the four of you to finalize details and ask any lingering questions. It wasn’t a done deal yet, but the choice had been made, and the path forward was clear.
There was an unspoken relief in the room. Everyone seemed lighter, as though a massive weight had been lifted. Jinx practically buzzed with energy, tapping her fingers against the edge of the table in a rhythm only she could hear. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” she said with a grin. “Like, for real. This is happening.”
Ekko chuckled softly, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah, it feels good to finally have a plan. No more guessing.”
Even Vi, who had stayed quiet through most of the meeting, seemed to exhale some of her tension. She leaned back against her chair, crossing her arms but with a faint, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It wasn’t much, but you knew her well enough to see that she was cautiously optimistic—excited, even.
As the meeting wrapped up, Archie clapped his hands together. “All right, then. I’ll get that meeting on the books and send you all the details once it’s confirmed. In the meantime, take the rest of the day to relax. You’ve earned it.”
Everyone shuffled out of the room, their energy buzzing in different ways. Jinx skipped ahead, talking a mile a minute about merch ideas she suddenly had. Ekko followed, his phone already out as he muttered something about updating their social media.
You hung back, walking alongside Vi as the two of you headed toward the exit.
“You seem... different,” you said, glancing over at her.
She raised an eyebrow, though her expression softened. “Different how?”
“Like... I don’t know. Lighter? You were so quiet during the meeting, but you don’t seem upset or anything.”
Vi shrugged, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Guess I just needed to wrap my head around everything. It’s a lot, you know? But this label... it feels right. I think we can actually make this work.”
Her words surprised you, but in a good way. Vi wasn’t one to express herself easily, so hearing even a hint of optimism from her felt like a victory.
“I think so too,” you said, matching her stride.
As you reached the parking lot, you parted ways, each heading to your own car. The sky was bright, the air crisp, and for the first time in a while, it felt like the future wasn’t something to fear.
──────────────────────
masterlist - chapter six
notes: im in love with vi i wanna smooch her 😭
taglist: @saturnhas82moons @baylegend6 @oidloid @vaebear @wicked-laugh
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imorynn · 2 days ago
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This is one of my top favorite Lilia series oh my shit :
Agatha, sipping her wine, smirked. "y/n. Baby. Darling." ( FUCK ME PLEASE )
"What?"
"You have to sext her."
I choked on my drink. " WHAT?! "
Billy, perched on the armrest of the couch, grinned. "I second this." ( I fucking love Billy )
"No," | said, shaking my head vehemently. "Absolutely not."
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ABSO FUCKING LUTELY YESSSSS.
I could practically hear Agatha's voice in my head.
You cannot waste this opportunity.
I didn't respond to Lilia's text. Not right away, at least. I told myself it was because I was busy, sorting inventory, helping customers, thinking about her like a lovesick idiot, but really, it was because I had no idea what to say.
"You've made me quite... curious."
What did that mean? Was she flirting? Was she just being her usual enigmatic self? Or was I reading too much into a perfectly innocent text from a woman who probably thought Wi-Fi was some kind of mystical energy?
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and spent the rest of the day pretending it didn't exist.
Me reacting to our fucking poor choices :
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Me when y/n texts : What exactly are you curious about? And bbg Lilia replies: You, mostly.
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Me: I hope I'm not too much trouble.
Lilia: Not yet.
I screamed into a pillow.
Agatha :
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I nearly dropped the phone as Lilia's name flashed across the screen. I fumbled to answer, pressing it to my ear. "Lilia?"
Nothing. Just... breathing. Shaky, uneven breathing. And then— A whimper. My entire body froze.
Another sound, soft and needy, and— A low, drawn-out moan.
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I would continue breaking down and adding more reaction pics to this but if I did this wouldn’t fucking end — in conclusion, this is fucking awesome😭 The banter, the mix of humor and tension, the way I can feel the chaos and reactions and sentence from the coven deep in my BONES — it’s all so vividly pictured in my head, you did a brilliant job at that😌 AND THE BUILD UP AND ANTICIPATION AND NARRATIVE. ALL OF IT. FUCK. TAKE MY MONEY. ALL OF IT.
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🔮 The Fool’s Journey (Into Trouble) 🔮 | Ch. 2
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Lilia Calderu x fem!reader
summary: Y/N makes a questionable purchase, endures an evening of coven induced chaos, and shares an unexpectedly nice breakfast.
wc: 8.5k (Chapter 2/?)
a/n: i'm not entirely happy with this chap, but ngl i have way too much fun writing the coven, I’m sorry. The first half of this chapter is definitely coven heavy (because they’re chaotic and I love them), but don’t worry, towards the end is all about Lilia. again this one’s super dialogue heavy, which i'm not used to but honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to cut any of it without hating myself. Just a quick heads-up, there’s no smut yet, but this chapter does lean into some more mature themes 
Ch. 1
also on ao3
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
A week had passed since the Great Flirting Incident, and while Lilia hadn’t exactly acknowledged anything outright, I could tell something had shifted. She was watching me more closely now, little glances when she thought I wasn’t looking, the occasional pause before she called me baby like she was testing the waters. But she hadn’t made a move, and if I was being honest, I wasn’t sure she ever would.
So, naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
It started with a simple realisation: Lilia Calderu was a woman stuck in another century. She still used a landline, still read newspapers, and still had absolutely no concept of modern convenience. I mean, she handwrites every single appointment into an actual paper planner. Who even does that anymore?
At first, it was just a passing thought, how much easier things would be for her if she had a smartphone. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt like the perfect excuse to do something nice for her. Something that wasn’t just flirting but actually, you know, helpful.
Which is why I found myself standing in the phone store, staring at a sleek smartphone display, wondering if I was about to change her life or ruin mine.
By the following morning, Lilia was perched at the counter, lazily shuffling her tarot cards with that effortless grace that made my heart do embarrassing things. She glanced up as the door jingled, eyes flicking to the small shopping bag in my hand.
“What’s this?” she asked, raising a delicate brow.
I placed the bag on the counter with a triumphant grin. “It’s about time you stepped into this decade, Calderu.”
She sighed, long and suffering. “Y/n, I don’t need —”
“You do,” I interrupted, pulling out the sleek black smartphone. “This? This is a miracle. You can set appointments, track orders, and get this, stop living in the dark ages.”
Lilia stared at the device like it might bite her. “I like my dark ages.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, humour me. Think of it as an investment. For the shop.”
She exhaled dramatically but took the phone, turning it over in her hands with a look of mild disdain. “It’s so... modern. ”
“That’s the point.” I grinned. “And, because I care about y—” I stumbled, suddenly feeling awkward. “—because I care about... efficiency, I already programmed it with your contacts and the shop’s schedule.”
Lilia smirked, clearly enjoying my mortification. “Very thorough, baby.”
I flushed. “Just... try it.”
She sighed but started poking at the screen, and I watched, fascinated, as her brows furrowed in concentration. “Hmph. It’s... responsive.”
“That’s what touchscreens do.”
“Fascinating.”
I grinned, feeling victorious. “You’re welcome.”
Later that night, I sat on Agatha’s couch, nursing a drink and dramatically recounting my victory to the coven.
“She took the phone,” I said, gesturing grandly. “She even said it was fascinating. This is huge.”
Jen raised a brow. “You bought her a phone?”
“Yeah.”
Alice leaned in. “Like... an actual smartphone? ”
“Yes.”
Agatha, sipping her wine, smirked. “y/n. Baby. Darling.”
“What?”
“You have to sext her.”
I choked on my drink. “ WHAT?! ”
Billy, perched on the armrest of the couch, grinned. “I second this.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head vehemently. “Absolutely not.”
Agatha leaned forward, eyes glinting with mischief. “You cannot waste this opportunity.”
Alice covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God.”
Jen nodded sagely. “Listen, you’ve been pining after this woman for weeks. This is your moment.”
I gaped at them. “I bought her a phone so she could schedule tarot readings, not so I could send her—” I cut myself off, flushing furiously. “No. Not happening.”
Agatha smirked. “y/n.”
“No.”
“y/n.”
I groaned. “Guys, she doesn’t even like me like that.”
Billy scoffed. “She’s calling you baby every five minutes.”
“That’s just how she talks!”
Agatha shook her head. “Trust me, if she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t put up with your nonsense.”
I buried my face in my hands. “I hate all of you.”
Jen patted my back. “Just... test the waters. Send something flirty. Nothing too intense.”
“Like what?” I mumbled into my hands.
Billy grinned. “Something like ‘Hey, Lilia. Thinking about you. And also that tarot reading you owe me.’ ”
“That’s not sexting?” I arched my brow.
Agatha shrugged. “Baby steps, y/n. Baby steps.”
Alice, ever the voice of reason, chimed in. “Or you could, you know, just use the phone for its intended purpose.”
Agatha and Billy groaned in unison.
Jen smirked. “C’mon, y/n. You flirt with everyone else like it’s your day job. Why not just send a little something spicy?”
I shook my head furiously. “Absolutely not. I refuse.”
Agatha grinned wickedly. “Then hand me your phone.”
I snatched it away, glaring. “I will murder you.”
“Fine, fine,” Agatha said, leaning back with a sigh. “But mark my words, y/n, you will crack. And when you do, I expect details.”
I groaned, sinking deeper into the couch.
This was going to be a disaster.
Another morning, another shift, I found myself watching Lilia as she tapped away at her new phone with a surprising amount of focus. She was getting the hang of it faster than I’d expected, which only made me more nervous.
“Enjoying it?” I asked casually, leaning on the counter.
She glanced up, lips quirking. “It’s... useful.”
I smirked. “Told you so.”
Her eyes twinkled. “You’re quite persistent, baby.”
I swallowed hard. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it.
Lilia left not long after, saying something about running errands and warning me not to rearrange her “perfectly organised” bookshelves while she was gone. I rolled my eyes, but as soon as the bell above the door chimed, I let out a breath.
I was halfway through dusting the crystal ball display when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Expecting a message from one of the chaos gremlins I called friends, I pulled it out without thinking, only for my stomach to drop.
New message from Lilia Calderu:"This phone might be useful after all. You’ve made me quite... curious."
I stared at the screen, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Oh no,” I whispered.
I could practically hear Agatha’s voice in my head.
You cannot waste this opportunity.
I didn’t respond to Lilia’s text. Not right away, at least. I told myself it was because I was busy, sorting inventory, helping customers, thinking about her like a lovesick idiot, but really, it was because I had no idea what to say.
"You’ve made me quite... curious."
What did that mean? Was she flirting? Was she just being her usual enigmatic self? Or was I reading too much into a perfectly innocent text from a woman who probably thought Wi-Fi was some kind of mystical energy?
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and spent the rest of the day pretending it didn’t exist.
Later that night, I gathered the coven at my place, pacing my living room as I relayed the situation.
“So she texted that, and I didn’t reply,” I finished, waving my phone around like it was cursed. “I just left her on read. ”
Agatha groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “y/n. y/n. ”
Billy gasped. “You ghosted her?”
“It’s not ghosting if it’s only been a few hours!” I argued. “I needed... I needed time. ”
Jen stared at me like I was the dumbest person alive. “To do what, exactly?”
“Panic!” I exclaimed, throwing myself onto the couch. “You don’t understand! I can flirt with anyone, anyone, but it’s Lilia. She’s... Lilia. ”
Alice, sitting beside me, patted my knee with sympathy. “We know, y/n. But if you don’t reply soon, you’re going to look weird.”
Agatha sat forward, pointing at me with a knowing smirk. “You need to sext her.”
“No!” I practically shouted, scrambling to sit up. “We are not sexting!”
Billy grinned. “You cannot miss this opportunity.”
Jen crossed her arms. “y/n. Babe. If you don’t flirt back, she’s going to think you’re not interested.”
I groaned. “I am interested. I’m just not... ready to send the big guns. ”
Agatha rolled her eyes. “Fine. We’ll start small. What’s something flirty but not too flirty?”
Billy snapped his fingers. “Tell her you were thinking about her.”
I stared. “I’m not texting that.”
Alice suggested gently, “Maybe something like... ‘What exactly are you curious about?’”
Jen nodded approvingly. “Oh, that’s good. Leaves it open-ended.”
Agatha smirked. “And suggestive.”
I pointed at Alice. “I like that one. Safe. Respectable.”
Billy huffed. “Boring.”
I took a deep breath, typing it out slowly.
Me: What exactly are you curious about?
I stared at the screen, hovering over the send button. “Okay, I sent it. Wait, no, I can’t.” I threw my phone to Alice. “You send it.”
Alice sighed but hit send. “Done.”
I buried my face in my hands. “I hate this. This is awful. Why do people do this?”
Agatha snickered. “Because it’s fun.”
A moment later, my phone buzzed, and the entire group froze.
Billy’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, she replied already?”
I snatched my phone, heart pounding.
Lilia: You, mostly.
Silence.
Then chaos.
I just stared at the screen in pure, unadulterated panic. “WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT?”
Agatha grinned like the devil herself. “You say... ‘Only mostly?’”
Alice nodded. “Yes. Play it cool.”
I nodded slowly, fingers trembling. “Okay... okay.” I typed the words, hesitated, then hit send.
A minute passed. Another buzz.
Lilia: You do tend to take up a lot of space.
Billy fell to the floor. “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”
Agatha cackled. “It means you’re living in her head rent-free. Y/n, if you don’t escalate this, I will.”
I groaned, pacing the room again. “Okay. Okay. I need to flirt back. How do I flirt back without looking desperate?” 
Jen smirked. “You are desperate.”
Alice offered, “Maybe... ‘I hope I’m not too much trouble.’”
Agatha groaned. “Boring. Say, ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’”
“I’m not pushing it, Agatha.”
Billy grinned. “Coward.”
I sighed, typing Alice’s suggestion.
Me: I hope I’m not too much trouble.
Another buzz.
Lilia: Not yet.
I screamed into a pillow.
Agatha raised her glass. “Ladies and gentlemen... we got her.”
The next morning, I walked into the shop with my heart pounding in my chest, expecting— hoping —for some sort of acknowledgment from Lilia. Maybe a sly smile, a lingering look, or even a teasing comment about our texts.
Instead, I got... nothing.
“Morning, y/n,” she greeted me in her usual warm but distant tone, barely glancing up from rearranging a set of tarot decks.
I blinked. “Uh, morning.”
She didn’t say anything else. No mention of the texts, no coy smile, no baby. Just business as usual.
I busied myself at the counter, sneaking glances at her whenever I could. And while she seemed to be going out of her way to act normal, something was different. She stood closer to me when we worked together, her hands occasionally brushing mine when I passed her something. She touched my arm when she needed me to move, her fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary.
But she didn’t say anything about it.
Not a damn thing.
And to make things worse, she kept casually reminding me of just how much older she was.
“You wouldn’t remember,” she said with a small chuckle when I asked about an old book she was dusting off. “It’s before your time.”
When I mentioned a show I’d been watching, she waved it off with a smirk. “Oh, y/n, that’s so... modern. I remember when television didn’t have color. ”
And when I tripped over my words trying to ask her a question, she just gave me that small, infuriating smile and murmured, “Ah, youth.”
It was driving me insane.
That night, I gathered with the coven at Agatha’s, pacing the living room like a woman on the edge. “She’s driving me crazy, ” I groaned, throwing myself onto the couch dramatically.
Jen raised an eyebrow. “She didn’t mention the texts at all? ”
“Not even once! ” I threw my hands in the air. “It’s like they never happened! And yet she’s touching me more than ever, but at the same time, she keeps bringing up how ancient she is.”
Agatha smirked. “Ah, classic ‘I’m too old for you’ defense.”
Billy frowned. “Wait, you think she’s doing it on purpose?”
Alice nodded thoughtfully. “It sounds like she’s trying to create distance without actually pulling away.”
I groaned into a pillow. “So what does that mean? She’s interested but scared?”
Jen hummed. “Maybe. Or she could just be screwing with you.”
Agatha sipped her wine. “Or hear me out—she’s waiting for you to push past the age thing.”
I peeked out from the pillow. “Push past it how? ”
Billy grinned. “Flirt harder.”
I sat up. “I don’t think I can flirt harder, Billy.”
Agatha leaned in with a devilish grin. “Then you make her realise age doesn’t matter.”
Jen smirked. “And how exactly does she do that?”
Agatha’s eyes gleamed. “Confidence. You show her you’re mature, and that she’s the one wasting time over nothing.”
I frowned. “And if she’s genuinely not interested?”
Alice squeezed my hand. “Then at least you’ll know for sure.”
Billy nudged me. “Look, the way she texts you... she’s interested, y/n. No way she’s not.”
I sighed. “I just... I don’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable.”
Agatha rolled her eyes. “y/n. She’s not uncomfortable. She’s hesitant. There’s a difference.”
Jen nodded. “You just need to show her that you’re serious, that you’re not some wide-eyed kid crushing on her.”
I groaned again. “So what do I do?”
Agatha grinned. “You step up your game. And I have just the plan.”
The shop was quiet this afternoon, the scent of incense curling through the air as I busied myself restocking the shelves. Lilia sat behind the counter, flipping through a book, her brow furrowed in quiet concentration. It was a peaceful kind of day until the bell above the door chimed, and I looked up, nearly dropping the stack of crystals in my hands.
I froze.
Standing in the doorway, looking just as poised and elegant as ever, was my ex.
“Oh my God,” I muttered under my breath.
She blinked, then smiled in genuine surprise. “y/n?”
Lilia glanced up at the exchange, her expression pleasantly neutral, though I noticed the way her fingers paused mid-page turn.
I forced a smile, setting down the crystals. “Hey! Wow, uh... what are you doing here?”
She laughed lightly, brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “A friend of mine recommended this place. Said the tarot readings here were... life-changing. ”
Agatha, you absolute menace.
Before I could explain, Lilia stood, offering one of her usual polite smiles. “A friend of y/n’s?”
My ex turned to her, all charm and grace. “Oh no, dear,” she said with a small chuckle, resting a hand on the counter. “I’m her ex.”
Silence.
Absolute, deafening silence.
Lilia’s lips parted slightly, her eyes widening just a fraction before she masked it with a practiced blink. “Oh,” she said slowly, clearly recalibrating. “I see.” Her eyes flicked between us, and then, with an almost surgical precision, she added, “Aren’t you... a little old?”
I internally screamed.
My ex, to her credit, handled it with an amused smile. “It was perfectly legal, I assure you.”
Lilia’s gaze didn’t waver. “Hm.”
I coughed awkwardly, feeling my face heat. “We, uh... it was a while ago.”
Lilia didn’t respond, just continued observing me with that unreadable expression of hers, her hands resting lightly on the counter.
My ex gave me a lingering smile. “You look good, y/n. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, it has,” I said, shifting uncomfortably under Lilia’s silent gaze. “How have you been?”
“Busy,” she replied with a casual shrug. “But I won’t keep you, I just wanted to check the place out. It’s lovely. I’ll be sure to come back when I have time for a tarot reading.” She smiled politely at Lilia. “I see y/n’s in good hands.” She added.
Lilia’s lips twitched, but she only nodded. “Naturally.”
I was pretty sure I was sweating at this point. “Uh, yeah, well, good seeing you. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will,” she said with a lingering smile before heading out the door with a soft chime of the bell.
The moment she was gone, I turned to Lilia, ready to explain but she was already facing away from me, carefully aligning a deck of tarot cards that didn’t need aligning.
Silence stretched between us, heavy and thick.
I cleared my throat. “Sooo... that happened.”
Lilia hummed noncommittally, her focus apparently glued to the cards in her hands. “Indeed.”
I shifted awkwardly. “You okay?”
She glanced at me, her expression perfectly composed but her eyes just a little too sharp. “I’m fine, baby.”
Baby. I nearly sighed in relief at the sound of it, but something about the way she said it, softer, more thoughtful made my stomach twist.
“You sure? You’re, uh... being quiet.”
She smiled faintly, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Just... thinking.”
I frowned, watching her closely. “About?”
She didn’t answer right away, instead carefully setting the tarot deck down before meeting my gaze. “I suppose I’m just... surprised.”
“Surprised?” I echoed.
Lilia tilted her head, her expression unreadable again. “You didn’t strike me as someone who dated... older women.”
I laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. “Uh... surprise?”
Lilia studied me for a long moment, her lips pressing together like she was considering something. “I see.”
And then, without another word, she turned back to her work, and I was left standing there, feeling like I had somehow lost a game I didn’t even know we were playing.
By nightfall, I was back at Agatha’s, crashing onto her couch, groaning dramatically. “Agatha, you suck. ”
She grinned over her wine glass. “You’re welcome.”
Jen shook her head. “So let me get this straight, you saw your ex, Lilia found out, and now she’s acting weird? ”
“Weird,” I confirmed, running a hand through my hair. “She’s quiet. Too quiet. And she kept bringing up the age thing before, but now she’s, like, really leaning into it.”
Billy grinned. “So she’s jealous.”
I groaned. “I don’t know! She’s not saying anything. She’s just being all... introspective.”
Agatha smirked. “Oh, she’s spiraling.”
Alice gave me a sympathetic look. “Maybe she’s just processing. I mean, you’re younger, and she’s probably overthinking it.”
“She is overthinking it,” I muttered. “And I don’t know what to do!”
Jen sipped her drink. “You flirt with her more.”
Billy nodded. “Exactly. Show her age means nothing.”
I sighed. “I don’t know if I can just—”
Agatha cut me off. “y/n. Look at me.”
I looked.
“You are hot. You are charming. And you have successfully dated an older woman before. ”
I winced. “Thanks for the reminder.”
She grinned. “Lilia Calderu is not immune to you. Trust me. She’s just panicking because now she knows she’s not the first older woman you’ve been interested in.”
Alice chimed in gently, “She might have been telling herself the age thing was a reason not to get involved with you. And now? She’s realising it’s not a reason at all.”
I blinked. “You think?”
Agatha smirked. “I know. ”
Billy fist-pumped. “So, new plan?”
I sighed, staring at my phone, where Lilia’s name sat in my recent messages. “New plan,” I mumbled. “Step up the flirting.”
Agatha raised her glass. “To y/n’s romantic conquest!”
I groaned. This was going to be so much worse than the texting.
I walked into the shop with renewed determination. Last night’s pep talk with the coven had me feeling... well, mostly confident. At least confident enough to step up my game and make it clear to Lilia that the whole age thing? Not an issue. I had a plan, flirt, be charming, and maybe, just maybe , get her to acknowledge whatever was happening between us.
Except life, as usual, had other plans.
The moment I walked in, the shop was packed. A line of customers at the counter, others browsing the shelves, and Lilia, poised, composed, and completely absorbed in reading after reading.
I blinked. “Since when do we get this busy?”
She didn’t answer, of course. Lilia never spoke during a reading, but the way she glanced up at me before flipping over a card for the woman in front of her said enough.
I sighed, shoving my bag behind the counter. 
After the reading, she finally looked up, smoothing her hands over the table. “It’s the full moon tomorrow. People are... searching.”
“Of course they are.”
So much for my grand seduction plan.
I tried, though. Between organising stock and ringing up sales, I threw in little comments. A brush of my hand here, a sly smile there. But Lilia? She was avoiding me like it was her new favorite hobby.
Every time I moved toward her, she shifted her attention to a customer. When I leaned against the counter, trying to catch her eye, she breezed past me with a murmured, “Excuse me, baby.”
And when I finally managed to get close enough to remind her about my plans, she barely registered it.
“Hey, don’t forget I have to leave early tomorrow,” I said, leaning in slightly. “Agatha’s art gallery thing, remember? I told you last week.”
Lilia, scanning a book title, nodded absently. “Mhm. That’s fine, baby.”
I frowned. “Lilia, Agatha will kill me if I miss it.”
Still no real reaction. “You’ll be fine.”
And just like that, she was gone again, moving to help another customer without a second glance.
I stared after her, utterly baffled. She was always attentive when I talked to her, always teasing or throwing in some cryptic comment to keep me on my toes. But today? Today, she was distant. Aloof. And it was driving me insane.
By the end of the day, I was ready to scream.
I stomped into Agatha’s that evening, slumping onto the couch in pure defeat. “She’s avoiding me.”
Agatha didn’t even look up from her wine. “Told you she’d spiral.”
Billy, sprawled on the floor with a tarot deck, flipped over a random card and smirked. “I predict that she’s freaking out.”
Jen raised an eyebrow. “You got all that from the cards?”
“No, I got that from common sense,” Billy said, grinning.
Alice offered me a sympathetic smile. “Maybe she’s just busy?”
I threw my hands in the air. “No, Alice. She’s strategically avoiding me. I tried everything today. Every time I got close, she found something else to do.”
Jen winced. “Ouch. So what’s the plan now?”
Agatha set down her wine, eyes gleaming. “Simple. You keep going.”
I groaned. “Agatha.”
“No, listen,” she insisted, sitting up. “If she’s avoiding you, that means she felt something yesterday. And now she’s panicking.”
Billy grinned. “So what you’re saying is... push harder?”
I groaned again. “You guys want me to die.”
Agatha leaned back, grinning. “You’ve survived worse.”
I sighed. “I told her I was leaving early for your thing tomorrow. She barely reacted.”
Agatha smirked. “Good. Because tomorrow, my dear y/n, she’s going to realise just how much she hates it when you’re not around.”
Alice smiled kindly. “Maybe a little space will make her see what she’s missing.”
I stared at the ceiling. “I hate all of you.”
Billy grinned. “We know.”
As soon as I stepped into the shop again, it felt like déjà vu. But thankfully today the shop was quiet. Not many customers, just the quiet hum of the incense burner. And, of course, Lilia still expertly dodging me like it was her life’s mission.
I tried to be casual about it, leaning on the counter and watching her pretend to be absorbed in inventory she’d probably memorised years ago. “Hey, mind if I use your place to get ready for Agatha’s thing later?” I asked, keeping my voice light.
She didn’t even look up, just nodded. “Of course. The spare key’s behind the counter.”
I resisted the urge to sigh. “Thanks.”
And just like that, she was back to pretending I didn’t exist.
I stared at her for a moment, resisting the urge to say something more, something to break through whatever walls she was so determined to put up. But instead, I just grabbed the spare key and headed into the back.
Lilia’s space was tucked behind the shop, a cozy, cluttered little place filled with books, candles, and an endless supply of robes draped over various furniture pieces. I didn’t think much of it as I changed into the dress Agatha had practically forced me to wear. The dress hugged every inch of me in all the right places, the deep shade accentuating my skin in a way that even I had to admit was... impressive.
I slipped on my heels, applied my red lipstick with a steady hand, and fixed my hair until it fell just right. I wasn’t trying to do anything, this was just getting ready for Agatha’s event but even I could admit I looked good.
With one last glance in the mirror, I grabbed my things and stepped back into the shop.
Lilia was standing behind the counter, flipping through a book, seemingly lost in thought. She didn’t look up at first.
And then she did.
I watched the reaction unfold in slow motion, the way her eyes lifted, trailing up from the hem of my dress to my legs, then higher, higher, until they reached my face. Then she looked down, as if to double-check what she’d just seen. And then— snap —right back up again, her head jerking so fast I swore she almost gave herself whiplash.
Her lips parted slightly, and for the first time ever, she said absolutely nothing.
I bit back a smile and walked over to the counter, heels clicking against the wooden floor, and held out the keys. “Thanks for letting me use your place.”
Lilia’s fingers closed around the keys, but she didn’t look away. Her dark eyes dragged over me again, slower this time, like she was trying to take it all in, maybe even commit it to memory.
There was something in the way she was looking at me, like she was working up the courage to say something. Her mouth opened slightly, and for a split second, I thought she might finally break her silence.
And then, right on cue, the door chimed.
“y/n, darling!” Agatha’s voice was as bright and smug as ever as she strolled in, wearing a knowing smile that only deepened when she saw the way Lilia was staring at me. “Look at you.”
Lilia’s gaze snapped away, and just like that, the moment was gone.
Agatha’s arm linked through mine, her grin positively feral as she turned to Lilia. “I’m stealing her for the night. Hope you don’t mind.”
Lilia finally spoke, her voice softer than usual. “Not at all.”
I turned to her with a small smile. “Bye, Lilia.”
She nodded, still looking at me like she wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Goodnight, baby.”
Agatha practically dragged me out of the shop, and as soon as the door shut behind us, she let out a low whistle.
“Holy shit, y/n.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, yeah.”
“No, no, did you see her face?” Agatha cackled, practically vibrating with glee. “I think you just aged her a decade.”
I groaned. “She didn’t even say anything.”
Agatha rolled her eyes, starting the car. “Oh, honey, she didn’t need to. That woman was devouring you with her eyes.”
I bit my lip, staring out the window. “You think?”
“I know. ”
And honestly? I really, really hoped she was right.
The night with Agatha was exactly what I needed. I loved things like this, dressing up, feeling the buzz of conversation, the soft glow of lights reflecting off expensive paintings, and the effortless way I fit into it all. There was something about the atmosphere, about the way people looked at me, that made me feel alive. And, of course, Agatha basked in it too, sipping her wine with a smirk and throwing me knowing looks every time someone complimented my dress.
"You clean up dangerously well, darling," she whispered at one point, nudging me with her elbow. "No wonder Lilia nearly combusted."
I rolled my eyes but couldn't fight the heat creeping up my neck. "She didn't combust."
Agatha just grinned. "She will."
After the event wrapped up, Agatha, never one to let a good night end too soon, insisted on a celebratory gathering at her place. It didn't take much convincing—Billy, Jen, and Alice were already in, and honestly, I loved being around them. Nights like this were rare, and I soaked it in, lounging on Agatha’s plush couch with a glass of wine in hand while she dramatically recounted the events of the night.
"And then," Agatha said, eyes sparkling with mischief, "she walked out of that little back room, looking absolutely devastating, and I swear to you, Lilia nearly dropped dead. "
Jen gasped in delight. "Shut up. "
Billy, sprawled out on the floor with his arms behind his head, grinned. "I knew it. I knew she couldn’t handle it."
Alice, ever the voice of calm, smiled softly. "She really didn't say anything?"
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "Not a word. She just... stared. "
Agatha smirked. "Stared? Honey, that woman was devouring you with her eyes."
Jen cackled. "So what’s the next move, y/n? Do we escalate?"
"I don't know!" I groaned. "She’s been weird all week, avoiding me, and now this? What does it even mean? "
Billy rolled onto his side. "It means she’s cracking."
"She’s definitely cracking," Jen agreed. "And if you play your cards right, she’ll snap soon enough."
I sighed, swirling my wine. "I don’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable, though. If she’s really that caught up about the age thing—"
Agatha waved me off. "Oh, please. She’s not uncomfortable. She’s terrified. "
"Terrified?" I frowned.
"Terrified because she knows you could wreck her entire world, and she wouldn’t stand a chance." Agatha leaned in with a wicked smile. "And she likes being in control, doesn’t she?"
I opened my mouth to argue, but my phone buzzed, cutting through the conversation. My heart leapt into my throat.
I glanced down, and there it was.
Lilia: Let me know when you get home safe.
I stared at the screen, the words blurring slightly as my heart hammered against my ribs.
Billy sat up instantly. "Who is it?"
I swallowed hard. "Lilia."
The room erupted.
"Oh my God," Jen practically shrieked, grabbing my arm. "She texted you?! "
Agatha grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Oh, she’s gone. "
I blinked, staring at the message. "It’s just... she wants to make sure I’m okay."
Agatha snatched the phone from my hand, reading the message aloud in a dramatic tone. "Let me know when you get home safe." She gasped theatrically. "Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve entered the protective phase. "
I groaned, grabbing my phone back. "It’s not a big deal."
Jen poked me. "y/n. Babe. This is a huge deal. She’s thinking about you right now. She’s picturing you coming home, kicking off your heels, and—"
"Okay, that’s enough," I muttered, my face burning.
Billy smirked. "But seriously, what are you gonna say back?"
I stared at the message again, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. "I don’t know. What do I even say? "
Agatha leaned in with a devious grin. "Simple. ‘Wish you were here.’"
I shot her a glare. "I’m not sexting her."
Alice smiled. "You could just say, ‘I will, thanks for checking in.’ Casual, but lets her know you appreciate it."
Jen hummed. "Or... you could send a little something extra. Not too flirty, just enough to keep her thinking."
I sighed. "You guys are terrible influences."
Billy shrugged. "We know."
I rolled my eyes but typed out a response anyway.
Me: Thanks, Lilia. I will. You're sweet for checking in.
I hovered over the send button, heart racing, before pressing it.
The room watched in silent anticipation.
Billy grinned. "And now we wait."
I stared at my phone, willing it to buzz again. The coven had gone back to their usual antics. Billy was dramatically narrating the highlights of Agatha’s gallery event, Jen was critiquing the wine selection, and Agatha was lounging with a satisfied smirk, clearly pleased with her own meddling.
But me? I was glued to my screen, staring at Lilia’s last message like it held the secrets of the universe.
And then, finally, my phone buzzed.
Lilia: Please let me know if I need to send the police out.
I snorted, shaking my head. “She’s threatening to call the cops on me.”
Billy perked up. “That’s sexy.”
I sighed, typing out a response.
Me: I’m at Agatha’s, staying here tonight.
A moment later, another buzz.
Lilia: Good. Glad you’re safe.
I exhaled, a small smile tugging at my lips. But before I could even process it, another message popped up.
Lilia: How did the night go?
The coven erupted.
“Oh my God, ” Jen gasped, grabbing my arm. “She’s fishing. ”
“Grandma’s up past her bedtime, ” Agatha grinned, swirling her wine. “Probably already touching herself thinking about y/n and that red lipstick.”
I choked on my drink. “ Agatha! ”
Billy cackled, rolling onto his side. “I mean, she did see you in that dress. You think she just went to sleep after that? Hell no.”
Alice, blushing furiously, covered her face. “Oh my God, guys.”
I groaned, glaring at them. “Can you all not? She’s being nice, that’s all.”
Agatha smirked. “Sweetheart, people don’t stay up texting their employees at midnight just to be nice. ”
Jen waved a hand. “Yeah, no one’s buying that. She’s sitting at home, staring at her phone, probably replaying that double take she did when you walked out in that dress.”
Billy wagged his brows. “Lilia Calderu: palm reader by day, handsy old woman by night.”
I buried my face in my hands. “I hate all of you.”
Agatha grinned. “No, you love us. Now text her back. Be flirty, y/n.”
I peeked out from my hands. “What do I even say?”
Jen, ever the strategist, leaned in. “Keep it casual but suggestive. Something like, ‘It was good. Would’ve been better if you were there.’”
Billy gasped. “Yes, yes, YES.”
Alice shook her head. “That’s too much. Maybe just say, ‘It went well, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.’”
Agatha snorted. “Boring.”
I sighed, staring at my phone. “Fine. I’ll go with something... middle ground.”
I typed, biting my lip.
Me: It went well. I think I made an impression.
The coven leaned in, waiting as I hovered over the send button. I rolled my eyes and hit it.
We all stared at the screen, waiting.
My phone buzzed again.
Lilia: I have no doubt you did, baby.
I froze, and the coven lost it.
I swallowed hard, my fingers trembling over the keyboard. “I think I’m going to die.”
Agatha grinned. “Not before you sext her back. ”
I stared at my phone, heart hammering in my chest, Lilia’s message practically burning into my screen.
I turned to the coven, wide-eyed and completely at a loss. “What do I say? What do I say?! ”
Alice sighed. “Keep it playful. Like, ‘Good to know my reputation precedes me.’”
Agatha smirked. “Or—and hear me out—‘I leave a mark wherever I go... want me to leave my mark on you?’”
I groaned, grabbing my phone back. “You all suck.”
Billy grinned. “And yet you keep asking for our help.”
I rolled my eyes but typed anyway, fingers trembling just slightly.
Me: Good to know my reputation precedes me.
A collective sigh of satisfaction rippled through the group as I hit send.
We all stared at the screen again. Silence. Then...
Lilia: It does. Quite the reputation, indeed.
Jen gasped. “OH. MY. GOD. ”
Agatha laughed, draping herself dramatically over the couch. “y/n, darling, you are killing her.”
I couldn’t fight the smile stretching across my lips, warmth spreading through me.
Alice giggled. “This is so cute.”
Billy nodded sagely. “It’s not cute, Alice. It’s sexy. ”
We kept chatting for a while longer, Agatha tossing out increasingly absurd suggestions that I shot down one by one, and eventually, we all crashed, smiles on our faces, hearts full, and just enough teasing to ensure I wouldn’t get a moment’s peace tomorrow.
It was so fucking early. Too early. The kind of early that felt like a personal attack.
I woke up to the sharp smell of coffee and the unmistakable sound of Billy and Jen bickering, their voices cutting through the dawn like they had no concept of time—or mercy. My brain protested every second of consciousness, but I managed to peel myself off the couch, blinking blearily.
After some groggy, half-conscious hugs and a round of mumbled promises to update each other, we all stumbled our separate ways, the world outside still drenched in that unsettling, pre-sunrise gloom.
And then... I was home. Alone.
And I was bored.
I wasn’t at the shop today, which meant I had absolutely no distractions. No tarot cards to organise, no shelves to restock, and, most importantly, no Lilia. I found myself pacing my apartment, debating whether it would be too much to text her again, but the thought made me cringe.
I needed an excuse. Something casual.
I chewed my lip, glancing at my keys. And then it hit me.
Lilia loved this little Italian pastry place across town, she mentioned it once in passing, some small hole-in-the-wall bakery that she claimed made the best sfogliatelle she’d had since leaving Sicily.
Before I could overthink it, I grabbed my coat and drove across town.
By the time I reached the shop, the Closed sign was still hanging on the door. It was early, too early for the shop to be open yet, but I knocked anyway, clutching the warm box of pastries in my hands.
A few seconds passed, and then the door creaked open.
Lilia stood there in a robe— a robe.
A silky, deep burgundy robe that clung to her in ways that made my brain short-circuit. Her dark curls were loose, tumbling over her shoulders, and she looked... soft. Sleepy.
And I was the one speechless now.
“y/n?” she murmured, brow furrowing in confusion.
I swallowed hard, trying to remember how to form words. “Uh... I brought breakfast.” I held up the box like an offering, as if that explained why I was standing outside her shop at an ungodly hour.
She stared at me for a beat, then at the pastries, and then back at me. Without a word, she stepped aside, opening the door wider.
I stepped inside, the familiar scent of the shop mingling with the faint, warm scent of her.
Lilia gestured to the small table in the corner where we usually sat with tea. “Sit,” she said softly, closing the door behind me.
I obeyed, setting the pastries down as she disappeared into the back for a moment. When she returned, she had two mugs of coffee in hand, sliding one across the table to me.
“Thought you had today off,” she said, finally breaking the silence.
I shrugged, unboxing the pastries. “I do. I just... thought you’d like these.”
Her lips twitched. “From my favorite place?”
I grinned. “I listen.”
She picked up one of the pastries, inspecting it like she was deciding if I’d done a good job. Then she took a bite, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “You really do listen.”
I laughed softly, watching her. “So, how’d the shop do without me yesterday?”
Lilia smirked. “It survived.”
We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the tension from the night before melting into something more familiar. She asked about the gallery, my friends, the art. I told her about Billy’s ridiculous art commentary and Agatha’s smug satisfaction.
“You have good friends,” she said after a while, stirring her coffee thoughtfully.
“They’re the best,” I agreed, smiling.
She sipped her coffee, watching me over the rim of the mug with those dark, knowing eyes. “And they care about you... a lot.”
I shrugged. “I care about them too.”
Something flickered in her expression, but before I could ask, she glanced at the clock and sighed. “You should probably head back before they start wondering where you are.”
I pouted. “Are you kicking me out?”
Her lips twitched. “I’m saying your fan club will miss you.”
I rolled my eyes, taking the hint, and stood to gather my things. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you get ready to open.”
Lilia smirked, walking me to the door. “Smart choice, baby.”
I paused in the doorway, turning to her. “Thanks for letting me crash your morning.”
She leaned against the doorframe, her gaze soft but unreadable. “Anytime.”
I left with a flutter in my chest, already thinking about what excuse I could come up with to see her again.
The evening was quiet, just me and the soft hum of the TV filling the apartment. I was curled up on the couch, half-watching some crime drama, the kind where the detectives always figure things out way too fast. My mind kept drifting back to this morning, Lilia in that robe, the way she’d looked at me, the way her lips had curled around the edge of her coffee cup like she was considering something she wouldn’t say out loud.
I sighed, sinking deeper into the cushions, telling myself to stop overthinking.
And then my phone buzzed.
I glanced at the screen, expecting a text from one of the coven, but my brows furrowed at the sender.
Lilia Calderu.
I sat up a little straighter, unlocking my phone.
The message? Absolute gibberish.
“fhbgggjkkjj”
I blinked.
I stared at it.
I blinked again.
I typed back quickly.
Me: Lilia? Everything okay?
No response.
I stared at my phone, waiting.
Still nothing.
I chewed on my lip, debating if I should call her, when—
RING.
I nearly dropped the phone as Lilia’s name flashed across the screen.
I fumbled to answer, pressing it to my ear. “Lilia?”
Nothing. Just... breathing.
Shaky, uneven breathing.
And then—
A whimper.
My entire body froze.
Another sound, soft and needy, and—
A low, drawn-out moan.
I choked on air, clutching the phone so tightly my knuckles turned white. My mouth went completely dry.
There was no mistaking what I was hearing. No way.
I opened my mouth to say something— anything —but before I could, the line went dead.
I stared at the phone like it had just burst into flames in my hand.
“No. No way,” I whispered to myself, blinking rapidly.
This... this had to be an accident. Maybe she sat on her phone? Maybe—maybe she was watching a... video or something? Yeah, I thought, nodding to myself. That makes sense. Probably just a mistake.
A completely innocent, totally not deliberate mistake.
My phone stayed silent in my hands, and I sat there for about 20 minutes, just processing.
And then my phone buzzed again.
Lilia: Ignore that.
I gawked at the screen.
Ignore that?
Like it was just some minor inconvenience?
My fingers trembled as I typed back.
Me: …Okay?
There was a long pause.
Then, finally—
Lilia: Goodnight, baby.
I groaned, falling back against the couch, covering my face with my hands.
“She’s going to kill me.”
I barely slept that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard it, the soft whimper, the breathy moan, the way the call cut off before I could even process what was happening. My mind replayed it over and over, dissecting every second until I convinced myself it had to be a mistake.
Lilia had to have accidentally pocket dialed me. There was no way she’d do something like that on purpose. Right?
By the time morning rolled around, I was a mess, over-caffeinated, under-rested, and dreading what was going to happen when I walked into the shop.
I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, bracing myself for something, anything awkwardness, a comment, maybe even a cryptic remark about phones.
But when I walked in, Lilia was already behind the counter, counting the till like nothing had happened.
“Morning, y/n,” she said casually, not even looking up.
I froze for a second. “Uh... morning.”
She glanced up, arching a brow at my hesitation. “Are you alright?”
I stared at her, searching for any hint of discomfort or amusement anything that would give away the fact that she absolutely knew what she did last night. But she just looked... normal. Unbothered. As if she hadn’t called me in the middle of the night and—
I cleared my throat, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Just... didn’t sleep well.”
Lilia hummed knowingly. “Ah, too much excitement from your art gala adventure the previous night?”
I blinked. Was that... was that a dig? I couldn't tell.
“Something like that,” I muttered, setting my bag down behind the counter.
She straightened up and gave me one of her usual, polite smiles. “I need you to organise the crystal display today. People keep moving things around, and it’s driving me crazy.”
I stared at her, waiting for something, some sly comment, some subtle hint that she knew.
Nothing.
She just handed me a cloth and gestured toward the shelves like it was any other day.
I nodded slowly, taking it from her. “Sure. I can do that.”
Lilia’s lips quirked, and she patted my shoulder lightly. “Good girl.”
The words slipped from Lilia’s lips like they meant nothing, like they weren’t currently wreaking absolute havoc on my nervous system.
I gripped the cloth in my hands so tight I was surprised it didn’t disintegrate. My entire body was in overdrive, my brain short-circuiting in real-time, because after last night, after hearing that noise, after spending all night dissecting it from every possible angle, there was no way I could process her saying that without losing my mind.
And yet, Lilia carried on like she hadn’t just set me on fire.
She hummed to herself as she floated across the shop, rearranging candles with her usual air of elegant chaos, soft, sophisticated, yet somehow still completely kooky. She muttered something under her breath about “people putting things in the wrong places” and shot the candles a scolding look, as if they were responsible.
Meanwhile, I stood there, trying to act like my entire worldview hadn’t shifted overnight.
She didn’t know. She couldn’t know.
There was no way she had butt-dialled me on purpose, right? No way she knew what I’d heard. But what if she suspected? What if she was saying things like good girl just to watch me unravel? Was I unraveling? It definitely felt like I was unraveling.
“You’re awfully quiet.”
Lilia’s voice cut through my spiralling thoughts, and I nearly jumped, clutching the cloth like it was a lifeline.
“I’m—I'm fine,” I croaked, too fast, too awkward.
She glanced at me with a raised brow, then tilted her head, curls slipping over her shoulder in that careless, elegant way she always managed. “Mm.” Her lips quirked, amused but not prying, yet. “If you say so.”
I nodded too quickly, ducking my head and wiping the same spot on the shelf three times. Play it cool. Play it cool. She doesn’t know.
Lilia, completely oblivious to the chaos in my head, twirled one of her rings around her finger absentmindedly, watching me with a curious little smile. “You really didn’t sleep well, did you?”
I froze. Oh god. “What makes you say that?”
She shrugged, returning to fussing with the display, adjusting a vase by a fraction of an inch before stepping back with a satisfied nod. “You’ve got that look.”
“What look?” I tried to keep my voice casual, but I was fairly sure I sounded like I was moments away from combusting.
Lilia turned, resting her elbows on the counter and watching me with a thoughtful expression. “The same one you get when you’re overthinking things. Your brow does this little... crinkle.”
My hand shot up to my forehead instinctively. “It does not.”
Her lips twitched. “Oh, it does.”
I groaned under my breath, focusing aggressively on the shelf in front of me. “It’s nothing. Just... a long night.”
She hummed knowingly. “Ah, still recovering from the art gala. I imagine it was... stimulating. Those events tend to linger, don’t they.”
I choked. “What?”
Lilia blinked, completely innocent. “The art. Your friends.” She paused. “The drinks?”
I stared at her, searching for even the tiniest flicker of something, anything , that might indicate she was toying with me. But she just looked... normal. Perfectly composed. Like she hadn’t called me in the middle of the night and—
I swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah. Stimulating.”
Lilia tilted her head, eyes twinkling. “You’re acting strange.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” She leaned a little closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “Are you in trouble? Did you get up to mischief?”
My entire existence was mischief at this point. “No.”
Lilia pursed her lips, clearly not convinced, but she didn’t press. Instead, she gently adjusted the sleeve of her robe, glancing at the clock. “Well, whatever it is, baby, I’m sure it’ll sort itself out.”
There it was again. Baby. My knees nearly gave out.
I swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the shelf. Focus.
To make things worse, she strolled over, close enough that I could smell the faint scent of her, something warm, a little floral, a little spicy, something that was so Lilia it made my head spin. She picked up a crystal from the display I was supposed to be fixing and turned it over in her hands.
“This one’s nice,” she mused, running her fingers along the edges. Then, without missing a beat, she handed it to me. “For stress.”
I blinked. “I’m not stressed.”
She smiled, and it was the kind of smile that said she knew I was lying through my teeth. “Of course not.”
I took the crystal anyway, staring at it like it might offer me some divine clarity.
Lilia lingered for a moment longer, then gave a satisfied nod. “Well, I’m off to pretend I’m being productive in the back. Call if you need me.”
I watched her disappear behind the curtain, releasing the breath I didn’t realise I was holding. The second she was out of sight, I dropped my head onto the counter and groaned into my arms.
What the hell was I supposed to do with this?
She didn’t know.
And yet, somehow, it felt like she was winning a game I didn’t even know we were playing.
I sighed, rolling the crystal in my palm, muttering under my breath. “Progress. It’s progress.”
Because she wasn’t avoiding me. And if this was how she wanted to play it?
Fine. Two could play that game.
For now.
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kaybug88 · 2 days ago
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Random HC cuz' I'm bored
Take some silly lil' headcannones I'm writing while I take a break from writing "WHATS UP DANGER?"
Mina Ashido:
Huge DTI player, like, all day everyday. Vip? Check. Custom Makeup? Check. Faster walking? Check. Double money? Check. She has it all, including every code known to man
If she weren't a hero, she would've gone into something cosmetology related. Nails, hair, makeup, lashes, that kind of thing.
As a little kid, she had a birthday party where someone came as a party princess for her 4th or 5th birthday before her quirk came in. The princess was hugging the kids goodbye, and Mina was SUPER upset that her favorite princess had to go. She held onto the poor girl who was trying to get to another birthday party, and in that moment, Mina's quirk manifested, melting the sparkly pink princess dress, making Mina cry even harder.
"Oh no, I ruined your dress, I'm sorry princess!" "Oh, hon', it's okay- accidents happen." *cries even harder*
Denki Kaminari
Had a kick ass Pokémon card collection from elementary to middle school, and keeps it in his dorm but is afraid to show people because of rude ppl in middle school telling him Pokémon cards were dumb, including a girl he had liked
I can see him liking lemon water but fully denying it when people ask him
I can see his parents getting divorced when he was pretty young, and there was one time where his mom got a boyfriend he did NOT like at all, ended up electrocuting him multiple times before they ended up breaking things off
"Denks, hon', why don't you like him?" "He isn't good enough for you, mommy!" "Why do you say that?" "He doesn't like dinosaurs, who doesn't like dinosaurs?!"
Momo Yaoyorozu:
She LOVES a giant, juicy burger with everything; lettuce, tomatoes, onions, BACON, cheese, everything that belongs on a burger is there.
LOVE LOVE LOVES smutty romance books but won't tell a soul because people think it's weird/gross
At one point at UA, she had a huge thing where she was insecure about her stretch marks REALLY badly, but all the girls in 1A reminded her how beautiful she was and how her body didn't define her, ESPECIALLY YOUR GIRL (Y/N)
"God, I hate my stretch marks." "Girl, what the heck?! Why?" "I don't know... Just makes me feel... fat I guess." "If I ever hear you call yourself fat again I swear on All Might himself that I will slap you. Think of them like tiger stripes! Tigers are wickedly cool, strong, beautiful!"
Katsuki Bakugo:
Afraid for anyone to find out he needs hearing aids from his explosions
Intense skin care routine, has a headband and everything
He has reading glasses, and reads all the time in the comfort of his dorm. Hate me, but I can totally see him reading historical fiction books and wondering how people managed to do anything without quirks.
"Can you believe what it would be like without quirks?" "Not really, why?" "I'm reading this book-" "You read?!" "Shut the hell up! The book I'm reading talked about people in ancient Japan using bows and arrows to fight. Isn't that so weird to think about?" "Bakugo, what on Earth are you saying?" "God, you're too stupid to understand it. Forget it."
Tsuyu Asui:
Loves finger painting and will never stop
Multiple times as a teen, she would sneak out, not to do anything bad, no. She would sneak out to go to the ponds and chill with the frogs because they're most active at night
In elementary, she had this really mean kid that bullied her because of her quirk. This kid would make the most out of hand comments and really tried her hardest to annoy Tsu, but she just wouldn't budge. Until one day, she made a comment about her tongue, which was the final straw for her.
"Eww, why is your tongue so long?!" "Can you stop, please?" "Why would I do that? Your quirk is so- Ack! Ew, ew, ew, get it off me!" "I told you to stop." "Okay, okay! I'll stop, just get the stupid frog off of me!"
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 hours ago
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been cleaning my dorm for like 4 hours and it somehow does not feel like it has amounted to anything
#i have completed tasks things are better!! where the fuck is my dopamine you bitch#i couldn't deal w a lot of stuff in the way i would normally want to bc im trying to unfuck a LOT of things here#namely the cat piss closet. i have since washed basically everything in there bc they smell like piss#by virtue of sharing air with the piss for possibly weeks (im not bitter im not bitter) but ofc i can't put them#back in the closet bc it still smells like cat piss despite my best efforts#i am. very underequipped for this btw#anyway none of the major things i WANTED to be better are better despite effort (i.e. i wanted to stop living out of my suitcase#but i still can't do that bc the closet is still fucked up. so the scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing the floor and washing clothes#didn't lead to the tangible reward of not kicking my fucking suitcase every morning#and rascal Does Not Like It when im up and moving so a hazard of doing any chores is getting attacked#and oh boy did he#ugh i wanted to clear my weekend i had ASSIGNMENTS. I STILL HAVE ASSIGNMENTS#but thats not super appealing bc again im tired and i feel like dookie doodoo ass#but i don't want to have shit to do over the weekend bc i know my work is probably gonna be affected by my mental health#which is definitely gonna be affected by The Event. i wanna get my shit done before tomorrow afternoon but like. guh#whatever it's fine we roll nonetheless. i could probably get away with skipping another class or two over this anyway#only good thing about this#would be nice to go home and wash my face. shower. etc#anyway. if nobody got me i know kaiji fa.nart as my keyboard background got me 🤝#(chanting) no matter what kind of bad day im having kaiji's having a worse one no matter what kind of day im having kaiji's having a worse#horribly embarrassing moment where a friendly stranger in class saw like 4 kaijis in the margins and was like whos that :3#no it's not a bad thing i was just caught off guard and my drawing's rusty as fuck and whatever. bleh#im trying figure out his design bc im in trauma-bonded love aith him or whatever and#but my ass will NOT look up a reference. in class. and i haven't been drawing out of class bc ive been doing work for class. c'est la vie#wait i never closed that parenthesis. here:)#ech then again maybe i'll want the distraction of work. crossing that bridge when i get to it#after all i can just work ahead if that's the case yk#to explain the closet my roommate stayed in the dorm over winter break and i didn't and at some point in there#roomie's cat pissed on a fallen skirt like crazy. and then that piss was trapped in there for possibly weeks#and im not bitter not even a little that i didn't get an apology from my roommate. but hey don't ask and don't receive ig
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athena-xox · 3 hours ago
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Ok abbreviations:
TLOSH: The legend of shadow high (mh cross over written by Shannon hale where Brooke is the narrator)
SU: spring unsprung
TC: Thronecoming
Ouap was indeed meant to be ouat for once upon a time (not pet I’m just running on two hours of sleep rn)
When I said unmaking lava that is a reference to the legend of shadow high and Ms. Direction. Just if the narrator in once upon a time is indeed bodiless then that could be a possible explanation…….?
Or you can just accept the retcon at face value. I'm not the kind of person to just roll with ret-cons and go "oh this thing I liked doesn't exist now," but it's fine if you prefer to do that for the sake of things making sense.
You are me I am you. Other ppl will try to just say it doesn’t have to be continuous but I. Will. Make. It.
If the legend of shadow high is canon (it does contradict all the books and the show but like we can work around that…) then Brooke having hands and stuff is explicitly canon because there’s a whole passage where she’s running and breaking the fourth wall and what not
Entering the realm of exposing myself as a psycho I have created a timeline of eah and the legend of shadow high goes at the very end. Basically the legend of shadow high references the books and the show (it references the og trio of Shannon hale books as well as referencing dragon games) while also contradicting both (says her parents narrated the og trilogy when it’s explicitly one narrator as well as having never met Maddie but referencing events from the show where she would have met Maddie..).
So kind of my theory of it all working is all the eah timeline continues as it is (books, shows, diaries, social media posts etc it’s all the same continuum to me) and so that’s our two years of canon legacy day-epic winter.
And then the next year (our main cast’s senior year) sometime first semester the puppeteer (random sdcc lore yay?) captures Maddie, Apple & Raven for the Evil Queen (who has escaped… again… what is it with EAH cause the amount of times EQ has escaped or almost escaped in canon is insane) and then she sends them into a labyrinth.
This is when the lost movie comes in. Basically if you don’t know what that is it’s the crossover movie between eah x mh that never happened. But on YouTube there’s storyboards for about half the movie (I have a link to the playlist in my pinned post).
And basically we get the main 3 from eah trapped in the labyrinth by EQ and Cleo, Clawdeen & Drac go into the labyrinth to find Drac’s childhood friend Euna.
The EAH and MH gang meet as well as find Euna. Obviously the movie was going to end with EQ defeated and the worlds combined, however since we don’t ever actually see the ending I like to think that Euna actually is the antagonist and wants to separate eah & mh (I’ve got another post about this somewhere going in depth on her motives) and so she uses some form of the unmaking lava, splits the worlds apart making everyone forget about the different worlds.
And she also makes Brooke forget about being a narrator (well not being a narrator but about having narrated before), because Brooke doesn’t care to follow the rules. She will do what she has to do to save the world.
So Euna makes her forget and thus Maddie forget. And then the legend of shadow high happens. Yay
Ok I hope that made sense lol
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HELP LOL THATS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID
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Oooh yeah my hc for how the narrators function is basically just what we see in the storybook of legends. Meaning the live in their own world inbetween the fourth wall and the margins. They also have bodies.
Brooke was just being so unserious in her mirror blog and wanted to mess with the readers.
And then my hc for the bodiless narrator was that they were affected by unmaking lava but also like you said, bodiless could just mean not having a body in ever after. Or maybe the narrator purposely said bodiless even though they weren’t, so kitty wouldn’t try to scratch them lol
…. Apologies for rambling this probably will end up being incomprehensible 😭😭
Some Fun Facts About the Wonderlandians from the EAH Books
Maddie and Kitty can hear the narrator, but Lizzie can't. This is because, as queen, it's Lizzie's job to be bossy and bring some order to the chaos of wonderland. She "reminds things what they are when they forget." No word one way or the other on the White Queen, but I'd assume she has a similar problem.
Kitty CAN hear the narrator but spends most of her time pretending not to because:
Kitty does not like being narrated. She actively conceals her thoughts and feelings from the narrator most of the time and they have to guess based on her actions. She does have some tells though, like how she's always thinking about cheese when she licks her lips and looks up. She's also far from infallible and leaves her thoughts exposed whenever she's distracted.
Kitty has also managed to scratch the narrator before, despite them being an invisible bodiless being.
When Kitty turns invisible, she goes to a place called "Between" which is some sort of shadowland behind reality. She describes it as "a little like running, a bit like dreaming, and a lot like swimming." There is no collision In Between---you can freely move through walls and objects---and no significant gravity, since you can float. It also enables you to fast travel (1 step In Between can equal around 50 steps in reality).
It does however, make you feel weird and sleepy if you stay there for too long, and Kitty has an uncle who actually spent so much time Between that he became a permanent shadow.
The Mad Hatter can see Kitty when she's In Between. Or rather, in the words of the narrator: "He's just mad enough to THINK he can, which turns out, is very nearly the same thing."
The White Queen has a poor understanding of linear time, since it isn't linear in Wonderland. Her voicemail message says "I'm busy, call back five minutes ago."
While all three wonderlandians experience intense culture shock, Maddie has it the worst. Kitty and Lizzie are both very aloof and don't really have friends (outside each other and perhaps Maddie), but Maddie is sweet and kind to everyone, and so she has the most chances to experience Ever After's very different idea of manners. For example, Maddie was convinced for years that everyone in Ever After had really bad table manners because nobody had ever started a food fight.
Lizzie has an incredible memory, especially for things she reads, and was able to memorize the entire script of a play within 24 hours.
Lizzie has a deck of playing cards that her mother gave her with advice on them instead of numbers. Lizzie lives or dies by this advice, even when it doesn't make much sense in context, until she goes through some character development.
Sleep magic doesn't work on Maddie because she's crazy enough that her brain assumes a) she is already asleep and reality is just her dreams or b) her dreams cause reality.
Lizzie can build anything out of cards. Literally anything, and almost immediately. It's magical. She's built an entire wall out of them before. I can't remember if she has, but she definitely could build a functional bridge out of them.
All 3 Wonderlandians consider Cedar Wood a friend (best friend in Maddie's case), and would fistfight people for her.
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foldingfittedsheets · 1 year ago
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Since everyone seems to love my sex shop stories, here’s another one.
Phone calls were literally a game for us. Not all phone calls, but there was a specific brand of call where guys would creep on us. 90% of the workforce at the sex shops was women. So we’d get dudes calling jacking off or trying to get their jollies from us.
The game: make them hang up. We could have hung up. On a few occasions I did, but for the most part we made a sport out of getting creeps to go flaccid. It really depended on a caller.
You couldn’t just go in for belittling them straight off- some guys wanted that. You had to tailor your strategy to the perv. Overall it was pretty fun and it turned an aspect of the job that could’ve become a major bummer into a fun sport. We’d get excited when the phones rang.
So one day the phone rings. I pick up and it was very clearly a young teen who was putting on a deep voice. I was utterly delighted, I’d never had a crank call before. He said, “I have a dildo emergency! Can you deliver 5 boxes of dildos to my home?!”
It took everything in me not to crack in that moment. It was so funny. It was like three kids had walked through the door in a trench coat and the phrase “dildo emergency” was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard.
But I kept it together. In smooth customer service tones I replied, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear you’re having an emergency, but due to the nature of our product we do require people to come pick it up themselves.”
The caller audibly deflated. Some of the deep voice he was putting on bled away when he said plaintively, “But it’s an emergency…”
“I’m sorry, sir, rules are rules.”
He hung up. I burst out laughing and told my coworker what had happened. She said, “I will buy you lunch if you call back and pretend you can deliver something.”
This sounded like an all around win for me, and the kid hadn’t used anything to block his number. So I called back.
“Hello!” This was before caller ID was common for home phones and so he picked up in his totally normal voice, several octaves higher than before.
“Hello, I’m calling regarding your dildo emergency?”
“Oh! Hem hem,” he coughed, getting his voice back into character for me. “Yes! The emergency!”
“Well I’ve spoken to my manager and it’s your lucky day. We’ll be able to make a delivery after all. Five boxes you said? We can swing it by later, we’ll just need your name, address, and credit card number.”
He was thrown by needing to provide info and was silent for a moment then said, “Well how much is it for five boxes?”
“About five hundred dollars, sir.”
He slipped out of his character voice to exclaim, “Five hundred dollars?! What kind of dildos are they?!”
“Just standard six inches with balls, sir.”
This was his breaking point. He started wheezing with laughter trying to repeat the phrase “six inches with balls” incoherently.
“So your address and card info?”
He hung up and I broke down laughing too. We both got a kick out of it, and I won the game twice in one day.
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supreme-leader-stoat · 1 year ago
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You're fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who's "hiring" is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for "Minion" are kind of concerning, but you know what, you've interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it's a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can't imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers' antics. You agree to the interview.
The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who's either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It's delicious.
You ask the boss about his business model. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot." He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. "Really? Not the whole world?" you ask. "I like to set realistic goals," he replies.
As he gives you the tour of his "evil lair," ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.
The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say "tomorrow?". Your boss(?) says he'll see you then.
On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother's girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.
You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it's for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.
Your brothers' exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. "Oh, good, you two already know each other!" your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. "What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate."
This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn's life is like, post P&F.
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wonderthor · 7 months ago
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your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.
“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”
he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.
“what do you mean?”
“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”
he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.
“you sure about that?”
you confidentially smirk back at him.
“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”
sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.
“how about we make a bet.”
“a bet? on what?”
“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”
“and what do i get when i win?”
sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.
“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”
you roll your eyes at him.
“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”
he laughs at you again.
“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”
you take another sip of your drink and lean back.
“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”
“what do you want?”
his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.
“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”
he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.
“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”
time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.
“what do you m-mean by that?”
he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.
“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”
a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.
it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.
but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.
when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.
“guess i win, sweetheart.”
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gibbearish · 1 year ago
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to give a little more info without spoiling it, it's about a foundation employee who was caught for espionage and was given the choice between termination (which in SCP world means death) or joining the Surrealistics Department, and he chose the latter. so now we follow him going through his first day on the new job!:))))! and i should clarify, you may be able to get it w/o the post, i def wasnt tho so jic lol
some other rapid fire faves, declassified recommended or not:
there is no antimemetics division - this one is an entire story arc but i can't not list it, its about anomalies whose whole thing is making people be unable to remember them and it rewired my brain. if you only want one sample chunk though, "introductory antimemetics" stands entirely on its own and is sosososo good
3519 - a highly transmissible disease that makes people believe the world will end on may 5th, and suicide beforehand would be better. you might feel confused by the wall of containment updates before the description and timeline but i promise its important to read it in order, just take it slow and really try to parse what these containment updates must mean about how the disease is progressing
3449 - a highly transmissible disease that makes people make typos. its way more than it sounds but literally anything else would be spoiling it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just whenever you think youve reached the end keep clicking the next iteration button
1733 - a recording of a football game, the inhabitants of which are alive and are aware they are stuck inside an inescapable loop, and get more and more freaked out every time the tape is replayed. gets very graphic jsyk
1459 - well its. you see what it is. what this one does is it generates a puppy. and then. it uh. it. well you see. it. hm. you'll see. just, also very graphic. the ten mile long experiment log takes it from horrifying to ridiculously funny, i still feel bad for recommending it though
1346 - scary hallway
073 & 076 - IM SO SORRY TO ANYONE WHO BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID TO START PROJECT PARAGON WITH 072 AND 073 i got the numbers wrong:((( but anyways. cain and abel. read these then go to the project paragon hub. or if you need more to hook you in, do 343 then 4840 then 6666 THEN hit up the hub. oh and scp 1000 is an important part too. and REDACTED PER PROTOCOL 4000-ESHU (you'll understand why its named different dw. irl it also goes by scp 4000). im pretty sure all of those are linked in the hub in one way or another tho so dw
4514 - knife that kills people (pay close attention to everything in the experiment logs)
2922 - ahhhh corbenic. very interesting (afaik incomplete) arc about where humans go when we die. after this you go to the project galahad hub to continue, also hit up 3922 it is extremely funny. from what i remember 1346... might? be linked to this somehow? but i could never find more about it, maybe ill stumble into it later tho thats how it tends to go
5935 - another one that i think needs the declassified post after to really get it and can't really be explained without spoiling it, its v cool though.
3288 - haha dude how fucked up would the hapsburgs get if they went underground and kept Doing Their Thing for like. hundreds of years? pretty fucked up right? (so fucking graphic dude. listen to every single one of those tws it puts up they are not jokes)
835 - scary human vore coral (also so fucking graphic, once again listen to the tws)
033 - Secret Undiscovered Number that breaks things if you use it because our tech is all based on the Wrong Math
2718 - GO BACK AND READ 4514 IM SERIOUS. DON'T LET YOUR EYES DRIFT DOWN AND READ THE NEXT BIT FIRST or do if you want, personally spoilers dont ruin things for me usually so you don't have to. it will however be way better that way around i pinky promise
lalalalalalalalalalala
anyways 2718 is death. like, death itself. one of the least graphic but by far most unsettling versions imo, and ive seen a lot of people say the same, like. its one of those ones that you stumble on and go ohhhh right this is a HORROR horror site. if you like it tho, definitely follow it up with the End Of Death (you see now?) canon. this one is super graphic though jsyk. i dont remember if theyre supposed to be linked or if i just happened to read them right next to each other and mistook them as the same canon but w/e both are excellent and they mesh very well thematically even if they aren't. but for real though, that first one WILL stick with you forever so if you're even a little queasy about death and Unsure About The AfterWards i would recommend skipping these, your brain does not need extra ammunition to scare you with abt that lol
4051 - MAJORLY fucking sad one about a kid who can make portals. if youre confused by the 350-PROMETHEAN notes and the therapy session notes search up the declassified post. not directly graphic but. its absence makes its shape visible regardless
6113 - scp of trans your gender. has false endings, youll know youve made it once you see a "handwritten" note followed by 3 pictures of a lake
2316 - everyones heard "you do not recognize the bodies in the water," but did you know theres more past that? start at Not Fade Away and click the link at the bottom to come back to 2316, click every superscript¹ < like that, and once you hit ⁶, highlight /everything/ past that, especially the blank parts. or if youre on pc just ctrl+a. you'll figure it out from there
lily's proposal - i mentioned this in the tags of another post but the scp-001 spot is kept open so that different writers can use it as they need for their individual canons, and this proposal is really cool and gentle
that's all the ones i can think of right now 👍 if you read these because of this post you should tell me what you thought of them
also if anyone wants an example of an INSANELY good scp that you almost certainly cannot understand without reading the declassified post, 5145 is so fuckin cool
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wriokitty · 3 months ago
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part two
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Starting an internship at the company Satoru’s father owns but you don’t know who he is just yet.
He’s annoying. He always comes back from lunch late, lets his phone ring at his desk (that’s conveniently placed next to yours) past the three ring policy, writes emails with silly and immature sign-offs, cracks jokes during meetings, and somehow, despite always finishing his paperwork late, he never manages to lose his damn job.
You try to mind your own business. But you can’t help but feel him slowly grate at your nerves as he acts so unprofessional and for some weird reason, not one person seems to care.
He seems pretty intrigued with you, too, if matters couldn’t get worse.
“Hey,” he grins. You try to ignore the tilt of his lips in amusement as you just barely fight off rolling your eyes.
“Can I help you with something?” You sigh, “I’m currently in the middle of something that requires my full attention, but maybe we could—”
“You really love your office jargon,” he hums, cutting you off with a wider grin, “so dedicated.”
“Oh, my apologies,” you smile tightly. He seems to straighten a little, some sick, twisted form of excitement rushing through his system at the way he seems to get under your skin. “Allow me to use simpler language for you to understand: go away, I’m busy.”
Someone has to stand up to this prick, you think. He puts in half the effort, and somehow, you’re pretty sure your boss has a soft spot for him. You don’t understand it, and quite frankly, you’ll be damned if a lazy, lackluster man snags a promotion before your hardworking self.
“Oh wow,” he snorts, “breaking your strictly professional streak, are you? You must be really occupied. I guess I’ll borrow your stapler later.”
Gritting your teeth, you give him yet another tight lipped smile before grabbing the stapler off your desk and handing it to him. (A small part of you resists the urge to throw it square at his face. Maybe the image of him on the floor with a bloodied nose would make your day a little easier, but then you’re sure you’d be jobless).
“Here you go,” you say with as much kindness as you can muster. (It’s not a lot). “Please do bring it back when you’re done. Some of us actually complete paper work, so the stapler is a necessity.”
“Oh yeah?” He tilts his head, eyes sparkling with mischief, “don’t worry, I won’t hold your stapler hostage for too long. I wouldn’t want to disrupt the flow of your productivity.”
You watch with wary eyes as he walks back to his desk, stapling some small, tiny note of sorts before walking right back, handing the paper and the stapler to you.
“What’s this?” You raise a brow.
“Some paper work for you to fill out,” he grins, the vagueness of his answer making a vein all but pop in your forehead.
Before you even have a chance to tell him that you most certainly will not be entertaining whatever silly prank he’s playing, he walks right off, sagging into his chair as he does an obnoxious little spin and goes back to typing at his computer. Probably yet another email with a ridiculous ending, you think to yourself.
Against your better judgement, you stare at the note, eyeing the small flap he’s stapled over an index card. You lift it up, quickly scanning over his scribbled writing.
Want to grab coffee during lunch? Check your answer:
▢ yes! ▢ absolutely! ▢ most definitely!
Your eye twitches.
Grabbing a pen, you quickly add a box underneath his (very confident) options, checking it off and writing in neat, pristine handwriting:
▣ not a chance!
You stand, walking over to his desk and ignoring his perked up, excited little smile as you drop the note back on the table and head back to your own desk. A tiny wave of satisfaction weaves through your body when you notice him read over your response and deflate, a small pout forming over his lips.
Regretfully, a small part of you can’t help but acknowledge that he’s actually…kind of cute when his lips are curled like that. But a larger part of you shakes that thought away and cringes internally. It’s a shame his personality ruins the genetic blessings he seems to have been bestowed with.
And you think that’s the end of it—but of course, with someone like Satoru in the office, there’s never the end of anything.
You watch as an email pops up on your screen, opening it only to stare blankly at his name and roll your eyes at the subject line:
────────────────────────
Follow-Up on Submitted Paperwork
Greetings office neighbor,
Thank you for submitting the paperwork. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but notice that it does not fully align with the outlined guidelines. Could you please provide clarification or revise the submission accordingly?
Thanks a million,
Gojo Satoru :)
────────────────────────
And there he goes again with those obnoxious sign-offs, you think bitterly. Instantly, you’re clicking away at your keyboard as you type back an agitated response. Of course, you really shouldn’t entertain his ridiculous schemes, but something about him gets under your skin enough that you simply can’t help yourself.
You huff in approval at your response as you read it over before hitting send.
Instantly, as if he was waiting, you see his hand reach for his mouse and click on his screen to open your email as his eyes scan over your reply:
────────────────────────
Thank you for reaching out,
Unfortunately, I was unable to fully adhere to the outlined guidelines, as they are not viable in this situation. To address this, I adjusted the submission to align more effectively with a more practical outcome.
Hope that helps!
Your office neighbor :)
────────────────────────
Just when you think he’s given up, he rolls his chair over to your desk, causing a couple of annoyed heads to tilt up and glare at him for the noise before turning their attention back to their work. You pinch your nose as his chair rolls to a stop in front of your desk.
“Yes?” You grit through your teeth.
“Hey, office neighbor,” he hums, “just wanted to clarify your most recent email with you. I’m a bit confused.”
“Which part confused you?” You bat your lashes in faux charm, sarcastically smiling at him as he hums, grabbing a piece of candy from your little bowl of sweets at your desk and helping himself.
Your eye twitches a little at the gesture. Those are for you to enjoy throughout a miserable work day.
“Um…” he trails off as he pretends to think, “I’d say all of it.”
“I see,” you nod slowly, fighting every bone in your body not to snap at him with a colorful choice of words. “Essentially, the options in your original document did not highlight a plausible set of deliverables, so I corrected them for you with a more realistic one. Make sense?”
“Not really,” he sighs dramatically, pretending to scratch his head in confusion. You want nothing more than to grab those snowy locks and slam his face into your paper shredder. “Could you go over it one more time? I’m still lost.”
You’re just about to lose your patience with him when suddenly, the entire office seems to collectively take in a sharp breath, everyone scrambling to look as productive as possible while a tall, older looking man with suspiciously familiar white hair and blue eyes walks through the office. Something in your brain sets off alarm bells, but you can’t quite completely piece it together what it is about him seems so….recognizable.
“Who’s that?” You frown, scrunching your nose in confusion as everyone straightens up.
“That would be the final boss,” he snorts. You roll your eyes at his word choice before blinking and straightening up yourself.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, voice a panicked whisper as you ask, “you mean the owner of this company?”
“Yeah,” he drawls, raising a brow at you in amusement. “Never seen him before?”
“No,” you hiss, “I’m just the intern! Now go back to your desk before he thinks we’re goofing off, I’d like to keep my job, please.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” he hums.
You send him a nasty glare, just about at your wits end as you whisper-yell, “I am going to throw my stapler right at your—”
“Satoru, I need you in my office,” comes a stern, deep voice, interrupting you as you quickly shut your mouth.
“You got it, old man,” he salutes in mock seriousness. Suddenly, your spine goes rigid and your eyes widen. The man walks off with a firm nod as Satoru stands, giving you an innocent smile.
Suddenly, it dawns on you just why he looked so strikingly familiar.
“Did you just call him old man?” You blink, mouth agape.
“Yup,” he winks, walking backwards as his eyes stay trained on you while he heads for the elevator. “I’ll put in a good word for you when he’s in a better mood at home tonight. I think we can discuss the specifics over coffee during our lunch hour, yeah?”
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iamnotoriginalphil · 4 months ago
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Teacher's Pet (Agatha Harkness x f!Reader)
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Synopsis: Professor Harkness takes on so few students. You're determined to become on. A non-magic AU with professor!Agatha.
Words: 7.4k
Warnings: Praise kink, possessiveness, obsessiveness, drinking, teacher/student relationship, age gap (but all over 18+), smut, fingering (R receiving), oral sex (R receiving), biting, Dom!Agatha, sub!R, power imbalance, unhealthy dynamics
You’d heard the whispers around campus about Professor Harkness’s class. The rumours were passed around like a ghost story told under the cover of night at camp. You stored them, collected each one like a gem, richer for every word you were gifted by the rumour mill. Drunk students would try one up one another at house parties, wanting to share the worst of her and win the competition.
You were fascinated with the legend of her before you ever laid eyes on her.
It was at a faculty party, your history professor extending an invitation to all of his most promising students. You’d shown up, expecting nothing but other old men, ruing the day the students grew so rowdy, passing around stories about their own college days when they showed far more respect to their professors than your lot ever did.
Instead, you’d found her, nursing a glass of red wine in the library, a heavy book open in her palm. She glanced up, piercing blue eyes settling on you with disinterest, and yet you felt like you’d been struck by lightning. You took a deep breath as her eyes left you, going back to the book in her hand, and made your way further into the room.
Your finger trailed over the spines of the book, most leather bound and weighty, older than the mess of paperbacks in your dorm room. Scanning the titles, you realised each one was on World War I. You wrinkled your nose, continuing on.
You knew you should have been trying to network with some of the most eminent professors in the history department, but now you were finding it hard to break free from the woman’s gravity. So you stayed, looking over the books, trying to find something that would suggest your professor wasn’t as boring as you suspected he was. And if you kept sneaking glances at the other woman, then it was an added bonus to your evening. Dark hair and pale skin, red lips curling up at the corner, dressed in clothes that must have cost more than your entire wardrobe combined, she was the most wonderful thing to look at in that room.
She did not pay you any attention.
“Ah, there you are.”
You glanced up, your professor swaggering through the door, a glass of scotch dangling from his fingertips. In the corner of your eye, you saw the woman tilt her head in his direction.
“Oh good. I’m so glad the two of you found each other,” he said.
You looked over at the woman, finding her staring down your professor with a look of absolute disdain. Clasping your hands in front of oyur body, you waited for some kind of explanation. Your professor drew closer, the bounce in his step seemingly suggesting he hadn’t noticed the way the woman was looking at him.
“Agatha, let me introduce you to my best student.”
He scooped you up on his way, the hand on the small of your back directing you towards her. You’d done your best to keep your distance from her, not sure she’d appreciate you interrupting her. Now, propelled towards her, a sense of anticipation mixed with anxiety curdled in your stomach into something you didn’t like.
When he said your name, those blue eyes focused on you. You wouldn’t say there was interest there, but it certainly was something more than the disdain she’d shown him.
“Agatha’s interests lie more in historical folklore surrounding witchcraft,” he told you.
“Oh,” you said, “I was hoping to look at that for my senior thesis.”
“Agatha Harkness,” she said, eyebrow raising, holding a hand out to you.
You grasped it in yours, her warm skin soft where it met your palm. It was like an electric shock went through you from her touch while you tried to fit this view of a woman with the figure of legend you’d been collecting stories on for the last few years at college.
“Don’t you go trying to poach my best student, Agatha,” you professor tutted, “I’m still trying to convince her to instead look at something more modern and practical.”
“You believe another World War I scholar is practical?” she asked, the drawl of her voice letting you know exactly what she thought of that opinion.
“I would say there’s more need for them in the workforce than witches,” he replied, still good-naturedly, but his gaze had hardened.
“We should talk,” she said to you, turning her head back to you, blocking your professor out of the conversation.
“I’d like that,” you said, knowing you sounded breathless and probably too eager, but you weren’t about to miss this opportunity.
She finally let your hand go, fingers stroking softly along the length of your palm. Your lips parted and for just a moment her gaze lingered there before looking back to your professor.
“You may go now,” she told him, not bothering to keep it behind the cover of polite respectability.
He sputtered out some argument. She rolled her eye, placing a hand on the small of your back, so different from when his hand had been there, and led you out of the door. Eyes followed the two of you, most focused on her, a ripple of something going through the rest of the party. She pushed the front door open, leading you into the cool air of the night.
“So,” she said, leaning back against the railing of the porch, “you’re interested in witchcraft, are you?”
“Yes,” you replied, softly, almost embarrassed, and yet certain in your conviction.
“You should know that oaf is taking such an interest in you because you’re such a pretty young thing,” she said, “his last favourite is now positioned somewhere nice like Yale or Cambridge and he keeps taking the credit for putting her there.”
“I have no interest in World War I,” you said, hoping that was answer enough.
“Clever girl.”
The thrill of her praise would sustain you long after the party was over.
“If you’re serious about pursuing witchcraft for your senior thesis, come by my office tomorrow morning with a proposal,” she said.
She maintained eye contact as she took a long sip from her wine, her lipstick leaving a mark on the glass. You couldn’t stop yourself watching her, already under her spell. She passed the glass to you, half drunk, and turned to walked down the steps.
“Don’t disappoint me,” she called over her shoulder before disappearing in the night.
You drained the last of the wine from her glass and left it there on the wooden floor of the porch. You returned home without bothering to take your leave of your professor, knowing he wouldn’t matter by that time tomorrow. You were going to give her the best proposal she’d ever seen, of that you were determined.
She agreed to oversee your senior thesis on historical folklore of witchcraft.
You learnt very quickly that Professor Harness’s demanding nature wasn’t an overblown rumour. She expected excellence from you. Late nights and early mornings, you spent so much time with you nose in your books the outside world stopped feeling real. Your fingers had grown ink stained and your eyes ached from the strain of reading such small type.
Every meeting, she sent you home with a new stack of books, expecting you to be there again in a few days having read them all, ready to discuss every little detail in her office for hours on end. She took up most of your waking hours, and when you did manage to snatch some sleep, she haunted your dreams.
You hadn’t gotten over the way lightning had struck at your first meeting.
Her office had turned into a sanctuary for you. You’d rush in, an armful of books almost tumbling to the floor before you threw them down into one of her chairs and curling up on the sofa she kept flush to the wall under the window. Some days you were there from the moment she arrived until long after the sun set, just reading and taking notes.
The office itself was warm, sometimes overly so, the sun coming through the window at just the right angle to heat the air. Her desk was large, imposing, the perfect symbol for the woman who had become legend around campus. Bookshelves were overflowing with all kinds of books. Cheap paperbacks, hardcovers, leather-bound, in pristine condition and falling apart. Some she’d let you pour over but leave behind at the end of the night, others she sent you off with. All you knew was you wanted the chance to read every single one.
Sharing the space with her was just as nerve inducing as it was the first time. You became so aware of yourself, wanting to impress her. When she’d sit beside you, the sofa cushions dipping until you felt yourself slip towards her, you’d grow so still, trying to not touch her, scared of what that would do to you. Sometimes, she lent forward to look at the page you were reading and her dark hair would brush your skin.
There were times when you thought she might know what you were thinking. The way you felt out of control around her. Your need to impress her. Her gaze would linger just a fraction of a moment longer than was appropriate, assessing every inch of you. Sometimes her fingertips would graze over the skin of your cheek, or she’d grasp your chin, or she’d gently move your hair out of your face. Hours spent together, and you could never tell how she felt about you or your work.
It only made you try harder.
It wasn’t until two months in that your friends decided to take matters into their own hands. You’d just returned from a full day studying in her office when a knock sounded on your door. Stifling a yawn, you pulled the door open.
“Oh, so you are still alive,” you friend said, shoving past you into your tiny dorm room.
“Hello to you too,” you said.
“There’s a party tonight. You’re coming. Don’t even bother arguing. No one has seen you since you started studying with the witch,” she said, picking up a banana on your desk that had begun to turn brown, “seriously, does she keep you chained up or something?”
You weren’t about to dignify that with an answer. Not that the thought of being bound by Professor Harkness was one that you hated. It just wasn’t worth the time explaining that.
“I have so much work I still need to do,” you said.
“You’ve been working too hard. Come on, it’ll be fun. You still remember what fun is like, right?”
In the end, you let her drag you to the party after raiding your wardrobe for something more party appropriate. Standing, clutching the red solo cup full of something that burnt as it went down, you watched the game of ping pong going on.
“I’d be terrified if I had to spend all that time with her,” some guy was saying to you.
“She’s not that scary,” you said, already regretting your decision to come.
“Nah. I heard she made some guy piss himself with just a look,” he said, swaying closer to you.
“She’s not like that,” you said, shaking your head, “sounds like that guy just has poor bladder control.”
“Ha, you’re funny,” he said, leaning closer until his sour breath washed over your face, “wanna come upstairs so you can tell me what she’s really like?”
“No thank you,” you said, shoving him away form you.
“Whatever,” he spat, “frigid bitch.”
“So what’s she actually like?” your friend said, taking the drunk guy’s place when he swung away from you.
“Quiet, exacting, demanding,” you replied, “she expects excellence.”
“Sounds exhausting,” she said.
“No, no, it’s great. I love it. She’s… great,” you said, looking down into your cup, swirling the liquid in it, “she’s kind of brilliant.”
“Careful. You sound like you’re in love with her,” your friend laughed.
“Don’t be stupid,” you snapped.
“Maybe she’s done a spell on you. You know everyone says she’s an actual witch? She’s certainly mean enough,” she said.
“She’s not,” you snapped, “seriously, all those rumours are made up by sad little people who feel inferior whenever they see a smart woman because they know they can’t ever live up to her.”
“She growled like a dog at some guy who cut her off as she was walking,” she said.
“People make up such stupid lies,” you said.
“Someone has video of her insulting some students. It went viral on TikTok,” she said.
“They probably deserved it. She has standards,” you said.
“I’m just saying, be careful with her. Maybe she’s trying to recruit you to her coven, or maybe she’s hoping to sacrifice you in some ritual to get more power,” she said.
“Shut up,” you snapped.
Downing the last of your drink, you crumpled the cup and flung it aside.
“I’m going home. I have too much work to be getting on with for this,” you said.
“Hey, no, come on. I’ll stop talking about her,” she said.
You shook her hand off you.
“I’ll see you around.”
You ignored her as she shouted after you, letting yourself out through the back gate. Curling your arms around your body, you strode off down the sidewalk. The night air held a chill to it, the slow drip of autumn beginning to give way to winter. You tipped your head back to look at the night sky, so dark, the moon just beginning to wax.
You let your feet lead you back towards your dorm building, wandering through the night and the shadows. The air was crisp in your lungs and you let yourself breath in deeply. You should have been home, reading up on the intersect of witch trails with gynophobia in the Renaissance, but instead you had wasted time on a bunch of drunk idiots for nothing.
“You’re out late.”
You startled, whirling around, heart thumping in your chest. Stepping out of the shadows, hands in her pockets, Professor Harkness looked like the devil come to collect your soul. You’d give it willingly if only she asked for it.
“I was at a party,” you said.
“You should be careful,” she said, taking slow steps towards you, “pretty young thing like you all alone at night. Anything could happen.”
The way she smiled made you feel as if she was the wolf and you the sheep, the prey to her predator. You were desperate to let her sink her teeth deeply into you.
“Nothing that interesting happens to me,” you said, voice quiet.
“Come, pet,” she said, hand landing on the small of your back, “I’ll walk you home. Can’t have something happen to you. I’ll feel so much guilt.”
You let her lead you back towards campus, the bright lights beckoning you home. You didn’t ask how she knew where to take you, so focused on the feeling of her hand splayed over your back, the warmth of her skin seeping through your thin shirt and into your skin.
“I suppose I’ve forgotten what it is to be young. I assumed you’d be curled up in bed, reading the texts I gave you,” she said, “of course you’d be out on a Friday night at a party.”
“My friend dragged me with her. Apparently I’ve been missing in action since I started working with you. She said I needed to have fun,” you said.
“I thought we were having fun,” she said, voice a low rumbled against your ear.
“We are. I am,” you said, so quick it brought a smirk to her lips when you turned your face towards her, “I shouldn’t have gone tonight. It was a waste of time.”
“Have you been drinking?” she asked. When you didn’t answer, she lent closer, “I won’t tell anyone if you have.”
“I’m over 21,” you whispered.
“Such a grown up girl,” she said, “I can smell the cheap vodka on you.”
She paused in front of your dorm building, warm light spilling out the entrance. Both hands came up to cup your cheeks, calloused skin scraping against yours, thumb brushing over your cheekbone. She lent forward again, right into your personal space. Her fingertips stroked over your soft skin as she pulled them away before her index finger gently tugged on your lower lip.
“Sweet dreams, kitten,” she whispered before disappearing back into the shadows of the night. If not for your racing heart you might have thought you’d hallucinated the entire thing.
She didn’t mention it when you slunk into her office on Monday, passing you a cup of coffee without a single word, but a raised eyebrow. You took it with grace, curling up on her sofa, opening the book in your lap. When she settled beside you, feet kicked up on her coffee table, you didn’t even look at her out of the corner of your eyes.
Her fingers were soft as they brushed your hair over your shoulder, gently tucking it behind your ear. Lingering on the curve of your jaw, you shivered, dragging your gaze over to her. The corner of her lips pulled up for a fleeting moment.
“Tell me your thoughts.”
You did, the words spilling over your words like secrets, softly spoken in the confessional of her office. You lent back, watching you, legs spread, interest in her blue eyes. Her finger ran along the length of her lip, intent as she watched you talk yourself out. Once you were done, her hand came to cradle the back of your head, nails scraping over your scalp.
“It appears as if your weekend wasn’t totally wasted,” she said.
“No,” you said.
“Good.” Her lips pressed together to repress her smile, “keep reading.”
Her long fingers tapped the book in your lap and she left you alone to your reading. You snuck a glance at her before bowing your head and trying not to think about what this meant.
Nor the way you yearned for more.
From that day, you noticed a change. Her hands would linger on you, her touch growing familiar and yet no less exciting. You stayed later and later, curling up on her sofa, growing comfortable as you waded through history with her. She guided you, shaping your research into something you could be proud of as you poured over books and wrote long paragraphs for her to read. Shared meals and shared drinks, you’d sit on the floor of her office, take out containers scattered over the coffee table. You shrunk further away from your friends, finding their conversations inane and childish, drunken antics no longer fun but puerile as you worked on something far more important. You lost yourself in that room, an addict who needed their fix every day or else you were given over to malaise.
She indulged your need for her attention, her open door policy lasting 24 hours a day. She seemed to enjoy how much you wanted to share the same air as her. Every time you said something, your eyes would turn to her, desperate for her approval which she freely gave. You spent time watching the way her fingers traced over words on the page in front of you, trying not to think about how much you wanted her to do the same thing across your bare skin. Her praise became greater, more frequent, each one hard won for, and each one treasured like the most precious of gifts, hoarding them to revisit every night before you fell asleep.
You hadn’t realised how comfortable you’d grown in her presence until the afternoon you realised you’d fallen asleep on the sofa as you tried to craft the perfect sentence. Your eyelashes fluttered and you were slow to blink your eyes open. Draped in a soft blanket, the warm air heated from the small space heater Professor Harkness had dragged into the office, you glanced around the room. It was darker than you’d remembered, the window showing a night sky while the lamps offered a soft refuge against the dark.
Something tightened around your ankle. You turned your attention towards it. Professor Harkness was sitting on the other end of the sofa, your bare feet resting in her lap. The book in her hand was left unattended as she stared down at you, a confusing expression on her face. Her grip on your ankle tightened again and you offered a lazy smile.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to drop off,” you said, voice rough with sleep.
“I’ve been wearing you out,” she said.
With the softness of sleep making it difficult to school your features, your cheeks heated at the implication. Not that you would have minded. In fact, you wished that was the reason you were so tired.
Her finger trailed along the arch of your foot. You shifted, the touch a tickle. She did it again, smiling down at you before she let you go.
“Sleep, if you have to. You’re no use to me if you’re too tired to function,” she said.
“No, no, I’m okay,” you said, sitting up, the blanket pooling around you.
The thought that she’d placed it over you for your comfort made your head spin. To then sit by you, to welcome any part of you into her personal space as you slept was even worse. Your chest ached and your heart clenched and you wanted to crawl into her lap.
“Perhaps you’re right. We should take a break. I’ve been working you too hard,” she said.
You would let her work you harder if it meant more moments like this.
“Come, pet. I’m taking you to dinner.”
You were helpless as you followed her. She drove, the car feeling so close with the dark night pressing in against the windows. You tried not to watch her, the hands you’d been fantasising about controlling the machine with such power.
The restaurant was nice. Intimate. Small tables and soft lamps offering pools of light, plenty of shadows to hide in. The maître d' seemed to recognise her, leading her to a table at the back. You lowered into your seat, taking note of the candle on the table between the two of you. The entire thing felt like a dream.
“Um, I’m not sure I can afford this place,” you said.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, waving off your worry, “I’m paying.”
“Oh.” You clasped your hands in your lap, “thank you, Professor.”
“Why do you always call me that?” she asked.
“Call you what?” you asked.
“Professor,” she replied, “I have a name.”
“Sorry. Do you not like it? I was trying to be respectful,” you said, anxiety taking hold of you.
“Agatha is fine,” she said.
“Okay,” you replied, “Agatha.”
Her smile was self satisfied and she lent back in her chair, eyes sweeping over you. You let her drink her fill of you, not sure what she was looking for, but wanting to give it to her. You’d give her anything she asked for.
“I must admit, I wasn’t sure about taking on a student. I usually don’t. But I’m glad I did. You’ve been quite the diligent student,” she said.
“I’m glad you did too,” you said.
“Of course you are, pet,” she said.
Before you could say anything else, the waiter paused by the side of the table. She ordered for you, glancing over as she did so as if ensure you didn’t argue. You weren’t about to. You’d do whatever she wanted as long as it pleased her.
The wine was expensive, full bodied, better than any other you’d had. It stained her lips and you wanted to lick it free from where it clung to her skin. The discussion over dinner was about the things you’d read that day, listening to the way she so easily connected one story to another. Her mastery was awe inspiring. It was easy to ignore the romantic setting and the wine that kept being poured for you as she spoke, her husky voice doing something delicious to you.
It wasn’t until dessert that it all came crashing back into you. The creme brûlée in front of her was beautiful. The spoon cracked the top and she took a bite, slowly pulling the spoon from between her lips. Her eyelids fluttered shut and a low moan reverberated through her chest. Your cheeks heated, thighs pressing together, turning breathless. A slow smile spread over her face and when her eyes opened again they were smouldering.
“You must try this. No other place does one as good,” she said.
“Oh, uh…” You looked down at the tiramisu in front of you.
“Come here, pet.”
She held out a spoon of the creme brûlée towards you. You lent forward, not quite able to believe what was happening. She placed it in your mouth, blue eyes holding yours over the top of the candle’s flame. It felt as if everything was moving in slow motion as she drew the spoon back.
The small noise of pleasure that came from you had her gaze lowering to your lips. Your tongue darted out, chasing the sugar on your lips. Her eyes darkened and she lent closer over the table.
“How’s that, pet?” she asked, husky, a rasp of a voice.
“It’s delicious,” you said, breathless and high pitched, a perfect opposite to her.
“It is, isn’t it?”
You watched in fascination as she scooped up some more, her tongue licking the spoon clean. Your breath hitched. Under the table, her foot gently brushed against your shin. Her blue eyes twinkled with something you wanted to drown in.
“Eat your dessert, kitten,” she said, “then I’ll take you home.”
You did as you were told, not even tasting coffee and cream of your own dessert. You were so focused on watching her devour her’s, indecent in how much pleasure she took from it. You were squirming in your seat as she finished, feeling on fire.
It wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was fair. You wanted her so much and she was just… making it worse.
She seemed not to realise the exact effect she was having on you as she led you out of the restaurant and back into her car. You stared out the window, not needing to be caught staring any more than you already had. It wasn’t until the rumble of the engine cut off that you realised something.
“This isn’t my home,” you said, staring up at the large two story house in front of you.
“No, it’s mine,” she said.
“What?”
You whipped around to stare at her. She wasn’t even looking back, the door open as she stepped out of the car.
“Are you coming or what?” she asked.
You scrambled to follow her, almost tripping over yourself in your haste. You weren’t sure what you expected, reproach for following her into her house or to be welcomed in with warmth. What you weren’t expecting was to follow her into the back where the kitchen was.
“Do you want tea?” she asked.
“Sure,” you replied, “what am I doing here?”
“Having tea,” she said, glancing at you over her shoulder.
“And then?” you asked.
“Going to sleep. I can’t trust you to do that on your own,” she replied, “clearly.”
“I really am sorry about that,” you said.
“Stop apologising,” she snapped.
Your lips formed the word sorry again before you stopped yourself. Instead, you watched her boil the water for the tea. Your confusion was mixing with your yearning, leaving you unable to do anything but wait for her to tell you what was going on. Pouring the water into two mugs, the strings from the teabags resting against the sides, she looked over her shoulder at you again.
“Come on then.”
You followed her with the two mugs of tea into her living room. It was comfortable, almost like a more lived in version of her office. Sitting beside her on the couch, comfortable and well loved, you watched her lean forward and place one mug on the coffee table. She passed the other to you, fingers brushing together, looking at you from under her eyelashes.
“There you go, kitten,” she murmured.
“Thanks.”
You looked down into the cup, steam rising from the surface of the steeping tea. Your fingers fiddled with the string of the teabag. Her hand landed on your thigh, startling you.
“You’re being awfully quiet,” she said.
“I don’t know what I’m going here,” you said, dragging your eyes up to her.
“Do you not want to be here?” she asked.
“No, no I do,” you said, rushing through the words, “it’s just…”
Her hands were gentle as they took the cup from your hands, placing it down beside hers. You could only watch as she swung her leg over yours, settling herself in your lap. Both hands cupped your cheeks, thumb stroking along your cheekbone.
“Agatha,” you whispered.
“Yes, pet?” she asked.
“I want you,” you confessed.
“I know.”
Her lips pressed against yours, scorching as she consumed your very soul. Your hands hovered above her waist, scared that to touch her was to break the moment, that it would make her come to her senses. She kissed you deeper, nails digging into the skin of your cheeks as she tipped your head back. Her tongue swept into your mouth. She was so warm when your hands made contact with her body.
She moaned into your mouth, filthy and hot, making you claw at her. She tasted of the burnt sugar of the creme brûlée and the wine you’d split with her. She kissed deeper still, stealing your breath. You tugged at her shirt, pulling it out of the waistband of her pants. Shoving your hands up, you felt the soft skin of her bare back against your palms, your fingertips, wanting to feel every inch of her.
Her hands slipped into your hair, shoving it out of the way, tugging on it in a way that had you mewling into her mouth. You felt her grin against your lips before she lent back, staring down at you. Her eyes had darkened, her lips kiss swollen, cheeks flushed.
“Do you want to stop?” she asked.
You shook your head before surging up to capture her lips in another kiss. Her fingers tightened in your hair and she made a small noise as your nails ran down her spine. You felt out of control, wanting more from her, the way you always did. There was something about her that drove you crazy, that had always driven you crazy. Even before you’d met her she’d consumed you.
She sat back again, hands slipping from your hair. You watched as her hands crossed over her body, slowly peeling her shirt off her body. You were dumbstruck, watching her with wide eyes and heaving breath. She flung the shirt aside, shaking her hair back from her face.
“Are you going to touch me, pet?” she asked.
“Yeah,” you breathed out.
Your hands slid around her ribcage, feeling the way her skin moved as she inhaled. She was so warm against your palms, real and there with you. You were slow as you trailed your fingers up, brushing the underside of one cloth covered breast. Your eyes darted up to her face, finding her watching you instead of your hands.
“Go on,” she encouraged.
You cupped them, feeling the weight of them in your hands. Leaning forward, your lips brushed over the curve of one then the other, vulnerable skin soft. Your tongue dragged over it, tasting her. She made a small noise, a rumbling in her chest, hands coming up to curl around the back your neck. She pressed you closer.
Reaching around, you released her from her bra, tugging the straps down her arm. Your mouth was on her again, exploring, until your lips wrapped around a nipple. The noise she made was one of approval, back arching towards your mouth. When you sucked, gentle at first, testing the waters, she pressed you closer again. You wanted to please her so badly.
With your hand, you rolled the other nipple between thumb and forefinger. Your name sounded so sweet on her lips, urging you to continue. Her soft sighs and the way her hips rolled against you only made you want more. You wanted to worship at the alter of her body, to take communion from between her legs, to whisper your confessions into her skin. You wanted to drown in her.
Fingers tilted your chin up, your mouth popping free with an indecent noise. She chuckled, pressing her lips to yours again, teeth sinking in to your lower lip until you tasted the coppery tang of blood. You whined, surprised at how much you enjoyed the sensation of the pain mixed with the pleasure.
You made a pained noise as she climbed off your lap, standing half naked in front of you. Your fingertips skated over her skin. Without a word, she pulled you up off the couch and tugged you towards the stairs. You followed, willing to go wherever she wanted, as long as you could keep touching her.
She paused halfway up, turning to grasp your face in her hands, kissing you again like she couldn’t stop herself. You whimpered into her mouth, hands on her bare waist. She dragged you the rest of the way up, pinning you to the wall at the top of the stairs. You groaned, pressing her closer, wanting her everywhere. One leg slotted between yours and the noise you made would have been embarrassing if you weren’t so lost in her. Her thigh pressed against you, just enough pressure to have you grinding down, seeking out more.
“So needy, pet,” she murmured against your lips.
“Want you,” you managed to choke out before her tongue was in your mouth again and you were rolling your hips against her thigh.
“When I fuck you, it won’t be against the wall,” she said.
She tugged you further down the hall, slamming open a door to what you hoped would be your final destination. Her lips were on yours again, possessing you, guiding you where she wanted you. She paused, just long enough to tear your t-shirt from your body, flinging it aside.
Her lips trailed down your neck, latching on at your pulse point. You whined, tipping your head back to give her more access. You felt on fire. Her hands were skating over your bare skin, nails dragging in a delicious way, making you gasp out her name in a plea for more.
Rather than give in and give you instant gratification, she took her time with you. Her hands were slow but sure as she peeled your clothes from your body. It was the same level of precision she used in her work, getting exactly what she wanted. Only this time, you were the thing she wanted.
When she lowered you onto the bed, you were bare before her. Your usual self consciousness was washed away in the tide of your longing for her. Her eyes swept over you, lingering, taking their time to drink you in in your entirety. Her fingers played with your nipples, watching with an academic interest as you arched up, your small whines doing nothing to spur her on.
Holding your eyes, she pressed kisses to your skin, soft and slow, making her way down your body, lingering the closer she got to the apex of your thighs. You trembled, fingers clenching in the comforter.
“You keep your hands right there, pet,” she said, staring up your body.
You nodded, willing to agree to anything she asked of you in that moment.
“Good girl,” she said before her lips pressed to the crease where your hip met your thigh. You inhaled sharply and she grinned. Her teeth sunk in, leaving a dark bruise on your skin as she sucked on it.
She hovered for a moment, her breath ghosting over where you wanted her the most. You pulsed, suspended in the moment before her mouth made contact with you. Her hands curled around your thighs, holding you open for her as her tongue ran through your folds. You cried out, hips bucking up into her mouth.
She chuckled, the vibrations going through you in a way that made you feel like you were being undone. Her tongue teased you again before pressing against your bundle of nerves. You whined, fingers clenching, her name a prayer on your lips. She pinned your hips to the bed, giving your clit a harsh suck. The feeling ricocheted through you, fire curling in your veins, your muscles tightening.
She feasted on you. Relentless, unforgiving, refusing to give you a chance to breathe. She was like a woman possessed, singular in her intent, putting everything into her goal. She was taking you apart, slowly and surely, and all you could hope was that she’d put you back together again when she was done.
Her fingers slid inside of you, so easily it would be embarrassing under other circumstances. They were slow at first, teasing and never giving you quite enough. But then she curled them, pressing into the special place no one but you had managed to find. Your legs trembled.
“I’m so close,” you whimpered.
“No you don’t, pet,” she said, “you don’t come until I say so.”
“But-“ you tried to argue.
“You want to be a good girl for me, don’t you?” she asked, cutting you off, thumb running in slow circles over your clit.
“Yes,” you replied, whiney and desperate.
“Then don’t you dare come without my permission,” she said, face lowering back to your throbbing core.
Her tongue was back on your clit as her fingers continued to stroke inside of you. You trembled, shaking, trying so hard to stave off your oncoming orgasm. Tears pricked in your eyes, fingers clenching tightly on the hold you had on the sheets until it hurt. She kept going, ruthless in what she wanted. She had complete control over you.
It was so close, you could practically taste it. You were straining, doing everything you could not to tip over the edge. She was a master of your body, able to play it to perfection. Her tongue kept dragging over your clit, sucking on it, fingers twisting and curling, dragging out every iota of pleasure your body held.
“Agatha,” you sobbed, “please.”
Blue eyes stared up at you, dark and dangerous.
“Please,” you begged.
Her fingers gave another slow stroke. You whimpered, your entire body on fire, wound tight as you did what you were told. You always did what she told you to do.
“Go on, pet,” she said, “keep your eyes on me and you can come.”
You let out a relieved breath. When you let yourself go, the wave of pleasure crashed into you, wave after wave. She held your gaze the entire time, drinking in the way pleasure contorted your body. The way you cried out her name felt holy, a cry of worship as you stared into her eyes.
When she drew back, she held her hand up, tongue running up her fingers. You reached out, grasping her wrist. She let you pull her hand towards you, your lips sliding down her fingers, lapping your arousal from her skin. Her eyes smouldered as she watched you, a pleased smirk on her lips.
“You are a good girl, aren’t you pet,” she murmured, gently stroking you hair with her other hand. The pulse of pleasure that went through you was bright and intense. You liked being her good girl.
Your tongue swirled over each digit, cleaning her up as best you could. A flicker of fondness passed over her face before she pulled it away from you. Leaning forward, her lips pressed against yours, rough and intense, passionate in ways you hadn’t experienced with anyone else. It made you feel wanted, desired, the way you always felt wanted with her. After all, she’d agreed to take you on for your senior thesis when she so rarely took people on.
“Alright, kitten,” she whispered against your lips, “let’s see how many times I can make you come tonight before you beg me to stop.”
When you awoke in the morning, deliciously sore and definitely sated, you rolled over in the large bed, hands reaching for the warm body you were expecting to find beside you. All you found was cool sheets. Squinting your eyes open, the light was still kept at bay from the drawn curtains, but the room was empty of another person. You sat up, rumpled and unsure.
You slipped out of the bed, tugging your clothes back on but your feet bare. You were slow as you eased the door open, padding out onto the landing you’d paid no attention to the night before. On silent feet, you descended to the lower level of the house, following the sound you could just hear.
Agatha was in the kitchen, her back to you, encased in a flowing silk robe. You blinked, pausing as you drank her in. Her hair, wild and out of control, long fingers tapping on the counter, legs bare where they peeked out the bottom of the robe. She was breathtaking in the morning light.
“You’re staring, kitten,” she said, voice still rough from sleep.
“Sorry,” you said, slipping into the kitchen proper.
She turned her head, glancing at you over her shoulder. Her eyebrows drew together and the corner of her lips turned down.
“Why are you dressed?” she asked, stepping away from the counter, “were you planning on sneaking out in the morning?”
“No, I… I wasn’t sure what was appropriate,” you said.
“Please tell me this wasn’t your first time,” she said.
“Of course not,” you said, “although I suppose it is my first time with my professor,”
She hummed but didn’t give you more of an answer. Anxiety was seeping into your body now.
“I thought you might want me to leave.”
Her eyes snapped back to you, displeasure painting her features.
“Come here.”
You didn’t move.
“I’m not going to ask again, pet,” she said, voice hardened, “come. Here.”
On soft feet you approached her. With sure hands she caught you, fingers pressing into your hips as she held you tightly. Your eyes darted around her face before dragging down. Bare skin met your eyes until the shadow of the robe obscured her from your vision. She was naked under the robe and there was still a part of you that wanted to unwrap her like a present.
“Do you want to leave?” she asked, gaining your attention again.
Your eyes snapped up to hers and you shook your head.
“I thought I’d made it obvious that the only place I want you is with me,” she said, “the only person I want you thinking about is me. The only person I want touching you is me.”
You trembled.
“Do you want that too, kitten?” she asked, drawing closer.
“Yes,” you breathed out.
“Then you’re mine, pet,” she said, her nose skimming along the curve of your jaw.
Her hand squeezed your hips and her lips pressed to the vulnerable skin behind your jaw before she pulled away. Your breath caught and you felt lightheaded. You ached to pull her back to you, to lose yourself in the feeling of her body and her skin and her mouth. Would you ever stop feeling this way with her? You didn’t think so.
“Now, I’ve been thinking. I’ve been pushing you too hard lately. You can have the weekend off,” she said.
“Oh.” You were still trembling from the brush of her lips and her words, “thanks.”
“So you won’t be needing those clothes,” she said, flippant and dismissive, “you certainly won’t be in them long.”
You flushed, cheeks heating. There was a twist to her lips, amusement twinkling in her eyes. You slipped closer to her again, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.
“Whatever you want, Agatha,” you whispered.
“All I want is you, pet,” she replied.
Turns out, all you wanted was her too.
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shitpostingsapphic · 2 months ago
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My favorite headcanons for caitvi are ones where they met as kids/teens, by far
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Like it's so fucking cute, the idea that Caitlyn would be immediately drawn to Vi due to her curiosity, and Vi can't help but be smitten by Caitlyn's atypical behaviors and willingness to explore new concepts and experiences and ideas.
Just like when they meet as adults in the original universe, their backgrounds should make them incompatible, but there's that inexplicable draw that brings them together.
Imagine Caitlyn tags along with Jayce to his visits in the undercity without telling her parents and can't stop staring at the pink haired girl she sees there at the shop, just hanging around, and they meet eyes, and BOOM, instant connection. Vi also sneaks glances and realizes she's never seen a Piltie girl her age this close before. She wonders if they're all this pretty.
Imagine Vi is sneaking around topside to catch glimpses of Caitlyn, because she feels like she shouldn't be so drawn to a Piltie, but she is anyway.
Imagine one day Caitlyn actually catches sight of Vi across the street as she tries to remain inconspicuous, but Caitlyn would recognize that pink hair in a heartbeat. Imagine she sneaks away from her mother or whoever she's with in order to go talk to her.
"It's you," she says, shy yet bold.
Vi, of course, tries to play it off. "Dunno what you're talking about, topside." But the blush on her cheeks tells another story.
Caitlyn ignores the very obvious attempts at ignorance. "I've been wanting to come visit the shop again, but it's hard for me to find the chance to get away from my mother. She's kind of overprotective."
Vi decides it's best not to play dumb, but can't completely be honest about wanting to see her as well. "You're sure you wanna share about your life with me? Maybe your mom's got a point, shouldn't associate with undercity trash and all."
Caitlyn frowns. "I don't think you're trash. That's silly. Why would you call yourself that?"
Vi is caught a bit off guard. "Isn't that what all you Pilties think of us?"
"I certainly don't." Caitlyn cocks her head as this leaves Vi without a response. "Why are you here, anyway?"
Vi stumbles around in her head for an answer. Shoves her hands in her pockets. Kicks a rock aside. Shrugs. "W-why are YOU talking to me?"
This makes Caitlyn smirk. "I DID say I've been meaning to come back to the shop. What do you think?"
"Dunno. Could want a number of things there." Vi has been staring at the ground but peers up at Caitlyn here. "Give me a hint?" The barest of upturned lips.
This makes Caitlyn break out into a genuine smile that steals Vi's breath a bit. "You're kind of adorable, you know that?"
Vi sputters. "Am NOT."
"Are so." Caitlyn tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Can't help but think the girl's freckles compliment her blush well.
Vi rolls her eyes, trying to pretend her brain isn't setting off fireworks. "I don't even know your name."
"Would you like to know it?" Caitlyn says, tilting her head.
"Since you insist on teasing me, I think it's fair."
"But you make it so easy," Caitlyn giggles. "Alright. I'm Caitlyn."
"Caitlyn," Vi breathes. Shakes her head. Clears her throat. Thrusts her hand out, scuffed up palms and knuckles and all. "I'm Vi."
"Vi. Pleasure to meet you." Caitlyn takes her hand without hesitation, notices how rough they feel compared to hers, incredibly intrigued.
"Caitlyn!" A voice calls. The girls both turn. It's her mother.
"Shit." Caitlyn breathes.
This makes Vi laugh, surprised. "Didn't know princesses could use words like that."
"Oh, hush." Caitlyn looks back at her, panicked. "I have to go. I'm sorry." Her eyes shift so they're alight with mischief. She jerks her head towards her mom. "You've got a talent for sneaking around, I assume?"
"And if I do?"
"Wait until we're out of sight. Maybe if you're good enough, you can stay under her radar." Caitlyn smirks. "Maybe you could teach me how to sneak about myself. Could come in handy."
Without giving Vi a chance to respond, she turns away, skirt swishing about.
And if Vi does exactly what Caitlyn says, following her home out of sight, and later taps at the same glass doors of the balcony she sees the girl disappear into after a while of spying, no one is the wiser. She figures she doesn't need to tell Vander what she's been up to just yet.
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pomefioredove · 6 months ago
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need overblot boys with epel, and floyd with a reader that randomly lore drops as if they're an old dad like "yeah lol my old school had a shooting once....anyways *SNOREE*" and when asked they just agree and walk away and never elaborate whatsoever💀 if you feel uncomfortable feel free to delete or ignore‼️love ya pookie💥
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a reader with a backstory
I got u 🫡🫡
summary: wacky reader lore type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
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you find new ways to raise Riddle's blood pressure every day
little guy is worried enough as it is
you've already got your school work, taking care of Ramshackle, taking care of Grim, taking care of all the other freshmen, taking care of-
well... you get it
the last thing he needs is to hear another one of your stories
"oh, yeah, that's like the time I got stabbed"
"????? WHAT??"
what's entertaining to you and ADeuce is mortifying to Riddle
if you're not careful you'll end up sleeping on the floor in his room
where he can keep a close eye on you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
you're like Leona's little court jester
and he takes you with him everywhere
it's not easy to get a genuine laugh out of him, after all
besides, what's so bad about a little dark humor? it's not like you died or anything
he knows you're a resilient little thing
and you seem to love telling him about "that time you crawled into a drainage pipe", anyway
you make him laugh; he likes you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Azul indulges you
his white noise machine stopped working last month and you make for excellent background ambience
so, he lets you talk yourself in circles about your school work, your friends, Grim, Grim again
and then you drop the most HEINOUS bombshells in the middle
"blah blah blah Grim, blah blah Crowley, blah blah, that one time I got lost in the woods for a day, blah blah-"
he loses his train of thought every time
now, Floyd is the complete opposite
he will hyperfocus on the most mundane details
and ignore the bombshells
will give you an, "oh, that's cool" to your ghost story but will find you the pair of socks you mentioned liking three months ago
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jamil is just fascinated by you
you as a person, of course
but also the fact that you're still alive
one night, he's explaining the reason he makes all of Kalim's food and you're like
"oh, yeah, I get it. I got mold poisoning once and hallucinated for a week"
?????
then you go right back to asking him about the recipe
sitting on the counter, as happy as could be
"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!!!"
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil is used to this
he knows that look on your face
he will shush you with a finger to your lips before you even start
"don't tell me, I'm stressed enough as it is"
he's going to break out if you keep at it
he finds you quite... macabre
which is entertaining until he sees you going down a flight of stairs without holding onto the railing and remembers all those stories you'd told him
he's just... concerned for you, that's all
and he does NOT appreciate Epel for encouraging it
"tell us more about the time you fell down that hill into that pile of rocks, Prefect!"
:D
like a kid in a candy store
learning new Lore is like the highlight of his week
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"talk about having a high luck stat..."
Idia is more entertained than anything
he thought these kinds of things only happened in anime, but...
...there you are
it sounds like you experience more in a single month than he has in his whole life
and you know what?
GOOD
you can keep your freaky real-world experiences!
he'll just live vicariously through you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
poor Malleus
he's been putting so much effort into learning and blending with human culture, and now here you are with your terrifying stories
you tell him in such earnest, too
you seem so... unbothered by it
perhaps humans are less fragile than he thought?
of course, he shouldn't have underestimated you in the first place :)!
then you come over for dinner one night
"hahah, yeah, last time I was at someone's house their grandma threw a lamp at my head and I got a concussion"
Silver and Sebek both go >_>
Lilia goes <_<
and then Malleus is there like, "ah, another fascinating tale :)"
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