#oh and the guy creating these monsters is the abusive father of one of said 14 year olds

[oflgtfol]

miraculous ladybug the show is so silly and stupid but then the fanfiction is like so uber dark and tragic. man what the fuck

[crisiscutie]

I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable when I ask this, and thank you for taking your time to read it, but do you plan on writing any incest relationships with Sephiroth and the darling, Father/Daughter or Brother/Sister, and I’m not really talking about Dissidia Sephiroth or Brother complex, but an AU where the darling and Sephiroth are closesly related, I took interest in those topics and I imagine Sephiroth manipulating the darling to think it was okay to do fall inlove with him, or create or more romantic and intimate relationship with eachother, I have been interested in those subjects, having someone you really trust use your vulnerability to manipulate you to thinking something is okay, and the effects it will have on the victim after realizing they were wrongly exploited by those they trusted most, I’m sorry if it’s super weird.

Hi anon, you are absolutely fine to ask this and thank you for being so thoughtful! No need to feel weird, as this blog is foremost, an 18+ Dead Dove: Do Not Eat blog. As everyone who follows this blog should know, dark and disturbing content (that doesn't go against my rules and site rules ofc) will be discussed and posted when the opportunity shows. I will try my absolute best to tag everything, but even then, I'm only human and will be bound to make mistakes. If I mistagged or something lacks a tag, let me know!

I know there are followers of mine who may be triggered by certain topics, yet continue to follow me, their support is equally valued alongside my other followers. This is one of the other big reasons why I want to tag so much. If you guys hadn't already, please go into your account settings and make use of the site tag filters! There are 3rd party extensions you can use too, like tumblr savior.

Now, let's get into an analysis (and my opinion) of this matter.

Content Warning: NSFW, Discussions of Incest, Daddy/Mommy Issues. Psychological Abuse.

I also find those dynamics to be interesting as well. I think Post Nibelheim Sephiroth would probably use manipulative tactics to stay close and maintain control over her. His darling, whether she be his wife, sister, daughter, or someone else, will always be his possession. Anyone who could threaten their closeness and his control, be they a friend or a romantic rival, will be dealt with.

My opinion comes from what I've seen of Sephiroth's behavior as he spiraled into darkness. Throughout the Nibelheim Incident and in the FF7 series, Sephiroth was clearly lovestruck by Jenova, consistently using and showcasing language that one would typically reserve for a romantic partner, even if she was a monster whom he considered to be his true mother. His behavior indicated a deep need for physical closeness and intimacy, as he was highly affectionate and touch-starved, always seeking to be near her and hold her. Like, I think the fact that he cut off HER HEAD doesn't get enough attention. This blonde kid practically cuts you in half, you're pissed off and want revenge but you still want to be with your mother? Cut off your mommy's head and then go stab that fucker, easy solution! This is peak Yandere vibes, I'm telling you.

While Sephiroth doesn't conform to typical human judgment, the Nibelheim Incident illustrated just how unorthodox his thinking truly is... Just that, that time was where his downfall started...

Anyway, judging from his interactions with Jenova, I don't see why he wouldn't be the same way with a darling who is blood to him. Oh, and at the start of FF7, I believe Sephiroth knows Jenova is not his biological mother, but he consciously insists on this belief because it brings comfort to his hurt soul. He even said this about Jenova in 7R Rebirth:

"They say she’s a monster. That she can peer inside you, into the very depths of your soul. That she can become those you hate. Those you fear. Those you love."

And I believe he is in control of her. So if Sephiroth wants Jenova to be his mother, she will be. Pretending that Jenova is his mother is his valid coping mechanism for the traumas of his childhood and early adulthood under Shinra. He is even so needy for Jenova's validation that he wants to merge with her and continue her goals of destroying and conquering worlds...

So again, I think he will be the same with a darling. He would bring such instability to her life, driving her to become completely absorbed with him and convinced that he (and Jenova) can provide for all of her needs and desires. Her desperate need for love and validation from him is exactly what Sephiroth wants. A twisted, addicting love between them all. He is a firm believer that families should always stick together after all... I think the person who could be of great help to the darling in terms of showing her the wrong and finding a way out is Cloud. Whether he becomes a love interest or simply a friend, he can make a difference. Problem is, uh, well. Cloud. He's got his own baggage to deal with and probably isn't in a position to support someone else.

I know you said you weren't talking about the Dissidia AU, but Sephiroth's manipulation of the darling's vulnerabilities, particularly her unresolved issues with her father, is extremely important in the Dissidia AU's storyline. Even through they are from different FF universes and are not related, Sephiroth manipulates the Darling's memories of her real father to create a sense of neediness and longing for him as you will see more in the Dissidia NSFW headcanons. He intentionally keeps the darling from unlocking the rest of her memories and going back to her world. I hope to make the complexity of it all understandable and enjoyable for you guys to read. And again, another person who could be the darling's savior is her own childhood friend, who searches for her constantly, as you will also see later in the NSFW headcanons.

Now concerning the question of if I have plans writing actual incest...

I have been contemplating writing an AU which centers on 7R Sephiroth (and maybe C.C. Sephiroth to create a twin Sephiroth show, but I haven't decided yet). It revolves around his conquests as he achieves domination over Gaia with his darling, only to lose her in the final battle. He (by using Jenova) tries to salvage much of her as he can. So by using a combination of his DNA and his lost darling, he can make clones of women that are essentially his and his darling's daughters. Although the clones provided him with companionship and comfort, and he loved them equally, there was always a deep sense of longing for the original darling to be with him as he continued to conquer the cosmos. But there was one clone he met that caught his eyes. He noticed a few traces of the original darling's spirit within her, he became increasingly fixated on her as the story progresses, and the clone is becoming more and more like the original darling... That's what I have now, but that's pretty much the premise... And it's also starring a favorite kink of mine as a theme, if you guess it!

Thank you for this ask!

[libertastandem]

lyrics that make me think of the Todoroki siblings (especially Dabi) and Shigaraki

Don't say it isn't fair

You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable

I don't relate to you

I don't relate to you, no

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty

You made me hate this city

You were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I'd have an empty line 'cause you never did

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own

Just fucking leave me alone

She said you were a hero, you played the part

But you ruined her in a year, don't act like it was hard

How dare you?

And how could you?

Will you only feel bad when they find out?

If you could take it all back, would you?

Does it keep you in control?

For you to keep her in a cage?

Try not to abuse your power

I know we didn't choose to change

You might not wanna lose your power

But power isn't pain

And you don't seem to understand

A shame you seemed an honest man

And all the fears you hold so dear

Will turn to whisper in your ear

And you don't seem the lying kind

A shame that I can read your mind

And all the things that I read there

Candlelit smile that we both share

I say they're just the ones who gave me life

But I truly am my parents' child

Scattered 'cross my family line

God, I have my father's eyes

But my sister's when I cry

I can run, but I can't hide

From my family line

Jesus can always reject his father

But he cannot escape his mother’s blood

He’ll scream and try to wash it off of his fingers

But he’ll never escape what he’s made up of

Tell me a story

About how it ends

Where you're still the good guy

I'll make pretend

'Cause I hate this story

Where happiness ends and dies with you

Praying I'd be like you

Doing all of the things that you do

And I still do

And that scares me

I'm tired of you, still tied to me

You were born bluer than a butterfly

Beautiful and so deprived of oxygen

Colder than your father's eyes

He never learned to sympathize with anyone

I don't blame you

But I can't change you

Don't hate you

But we can't save you

You were born reaching for your mother's hands

Victim of your father's plans to rule the world

Too afraid to step outside

Paranoid and petrified of what you've heard

I am the monster you created

You ripped out all my parts

And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw

That I needed you more

I hope you know we had everything

And you broke me and left these pieces

I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and

I want you to lose like I lose when I play

Oh, what could have been

Why don't you love who I am?

What we could have been

And the worst part is

I loved you

I loved you

I loved you it's true

And sometimes I feel like

I still fucking do

[nothingtherefornow]

Rude, but not totally wrong. Even though I disagree with those who think that Chloé should have been given a real redemption, there is still a form of imbalance between the treatment of Chloé's character, a secondary antagonist, and that of Gabriel's, the main antagonist, who on top of being an adult contrary to Chloé, did a lot more shady things and almost destroyed the world more than once for his selfish goals. so I can understad that it seems very unfair to give the main villain of the show for 5 seasons such an ending, while Chloé will either suffer or become worse under the tutelage of her mother.

I didn't say that Andre was a victim, what I meant to say is that even though Andre always went on his way to make his daugther happy, Chloé was still able to throw him out the second he could no longer be of use to her, as if their father-daugther relationship didn't matter to her.

Although you're right Andre should answer for having gone out of his way to allow and help Chloé commit all her awfull deeds, and I find it actually ironic that he ended up overwhelmed and dethroned by the monster he helped create. While I still have no sympathy for Chloé, I agree that allowing her to go to New York with her mother was the worst decision Andre could make reguarding his daugther, because Chloé will only end up falling even lower under the influence and autority/control of somoene as horrible as Audrey.

I was actually dissapointed that Andre who finally grew half of a conscience and told Gabriel that he would be part of the "good guys" starting from episode Collusion, that he didn't even try to convince Chloé to stop going out of her way to hurt others. At the very least he should have done that instead of getting his hands clean of her and giving her to a mother that will only teach her daugther to be even more abusive than she already is.

Oh man, I hope that what the ml writters actually meant to say is that Gabriel was seen as a hero by all of Paris minus those who are aware he was a villain, and not in the sense that he's considered a "hero" for the show itself. In their review comment of the season 5 finale they actually said that to them, Gabriel admitted his defeat to Marinette when he took out the miraculous rings and Adrien's amok rings and laid them on the ground. And if this was the ML writters intentions, then I admit it was badly done.

There's also this rumor that at first, the ML writting team planned to throw Gabriel in prison, but in order to better please the young kids in Brazilian, for whom some had parents in prison, they decided to change Gabriel's ending to better appeal to Brazil's audience..

We can only hope that Gabriel's spirit may have not been put to rest like he wanted, and that karma is gonna collect its debt one way or another.

As for Chloé I guess it would be nice if the writters could just leave her character alone and make her thrive in New York other than by hurting people. she could also become an intern for her mother's magazine or join the same school of Zoé in which she will have her place among young people who think exactly like her.

I want to keep having hope in the ML writting team skills after the great special episode that was the special Paris, but there's a lot of things that season 6 could still do wrong with Gabriel's and Chloé's character. To make Gabriel sympathetic while making Chloé out to be a monster would indeed be a mistake.

Istg I am so over all these brain dead salters screeching over marinette’s trauma but bend over backwards to defend chloe.

Like can we get a breakdown of Chloe being as awful in season one as she was in 5?

"brain dead salters" is indeed a fitting description for those Chloé defenders who screech over Marinette's trauma

It's like many people love to invalidate the bullied protagonist feelings, and put the feelings of their bully antagonist above theirs just because one has an abusive parent and the other not.

If Chloé, a character who willingly hurt many people who never did anything to her and take sadistic pleasure at seeing others suffer can have her behavior justified by the fans because of the form of abuse she went through, why not Marinette (Bullying and harassment is also a form of abuse, and it's a fact that Marinette was severely bullied and abused by Chloé for years before she grew a backbone) ? Marinette who proved more than once that she is a guenuinly good person

It's sickening how many people seem to like finding excuses for bullies and abusive persons while they'll always blame the victims for trying to fight back and for having their behavior affected by this bullyin and abuse. Sure Marinette's cringy behavior was wrong but she has often been called out by Tikki for it, and in season 5 Marinette activelly tried to make efforst to correct her most problematic obsessive behavior reguarding Adrien, and she mostly succeeded.

Have Chloé ever tried to become better and fix her own flaws since the end of season 3 ? Short answer : NO

Although I already hear Chloé's defenders saying that she is also a victim of abuse from her own mother, there's a big difference between Audrey's neglect and uncaring actions and Chloé's cruelty and dedication at making Marinette's life hellish. And although her mother was absent from her life, Chloé still had her father. Granted spoiling your child is no way good parenting, but for Andrey it was a manner to express how much he loves his daugther, until he finds himself overwhelmed by his daughter's wickedness, a wickedness to which he unwittingly contributed by giving Chloe access to so many powers that allowed her to hurt others and escape the consequences of her actions for a long time.

[shatteredatthealtarofwinchester]

Umm, wait. It's more a 15x20 rant than an analysis. I'll call it... a ranalysis. 😏

I just saw J*reds last online panel again, where he called the finale "magical full circle storytelling". 15x20 is his "favourite episode ever" because he "is a fan of good storytelling". Uh-huh... Okay. So the following just was built on pure rage. This makes it more of a rant than an analysis. As usual. You guys know me.

Well. There are various possibilities here, Jared. Possibility A is, you are lying, what I do not believe. To lie that obvious you have to be a talented actor, which you are not. Possibility B is, you really think that way. You believe, the finale was "magical full circle storytelling" and you actually loved it, it was indeed your favourite episode. This again brings me to the only conclusion: You have no fucking idea about good storytelling, not even decent storytelling.

Lets look at every single ending, shall we?

Dean. We all know you think Deans death was a "success story." You think that Dean "ultimately gave his life for his number one on planet." I am sitting here, laughing in pain. First of all, let me say that Dean didn't died for Sam, Jared. He didn't took a bullet for Sam or sacrificed himself or whatsoever. He died in the most ridiculous accident I've ever seen. But lets go back to the very start.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John. Not because Dean wanted to, because he was forced into it! Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You get what I mean, Jared? Since you own a mental health campaign, you should. And guess what Dean did? He kept fighting. Despite everything, he kept fighting. And his mindset slowly changed. He understood that his father was an abusive bastard, he unterstood that he was forced into a life he never wanted. He understood that he is more than that, that he is not like John. He changed. He opened up. He even wanted to retire. And now it gets interesting, because something happened that REALLY is the start of magical full circle storytelling. Something in Deans mind clicked while Cas' confession. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he had a chance. A choice. The start of his very own life. Free will, baby! Well, no. Because exactly in that moment he stumbled into a nail and died. Do you even realize how dumb this is? Do you even realize what you did? Wait, it gets worse. Yeah, that's possible, even if you dont believe it. In heaven he goes right back to the life he has spent his whole journey learning to free himself from: Left only with the persons he had been forced, time and time again, to sacrifice his identity, goals, and soul for. None of the family, support, or love, nothing he has built or chosen for himself remains. This is not magical full circle storytelling, Jared. This is abysmal pointless butchering. This has NOTHING, not a single percent of magical or good storytelling! YOU call that magical? YOU call that a success? Seriously, what shit are you on? If it would've been full circle storytelling, there is not one single fucking possibility that Dean would've died in the end. I don't know whats going on in your twisted brain, but Deans death never was and never will be a success. To make it magical full circle storytelling, he MUST have been the one who survives and overcomes his trauma (and raise a certain someone from perdition.)

Sam. He's actually the one who kinda got the best ending, huh? I mean, it was fucking horrific, but it was the best if you compare it to the others. When Sam was young, he wanted a normal life far away from hunting, while the truth is, Sam always was more like John than Dean ever will be. Over time his mindset clearly changed. He even said: "When Dean came to get me at school, I told myself, one last job, you know, (...) it was always one more job and then I was gonna go back to law and to my life. I guess, I really understand now that THIS is my life. And I love it." Sam couldn't imagine a normal life anymore. He had the chances for that and he declined. He loved hunting. He loved working and making progress with the BMOL, he very much enjoyed being a MOL and even took the lead often. I can clearly picture Sam as the lead of a rebuilt version of the MOL, that would've made sense. What did Sam get? Right, the ending he didn't wanted anymore, but since we yeet every single development of every single character out of the window, Sam has to be Season 1 Sam again, BUT with a fancy party wig! And there he is! And what a happy life he lives, exactly what he wanted, woohoo! So much joy, so much fun! Oh look, there is BlurryWife™, who Jared made sure is not Eileen, because “Dean wouldn’t want Sam to be with Eileen”. But wait, didn't Dean wanted Sam to be with Eileen? Didn't Dean literally said: "If it was to work, Eileen, you know... She gets it, she gets us, she gets the life. You could do worse. And she could certainly do better, like SO much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy." Yeah, NO. This was just a writing AND acting AND producing mistake and had no matter at all. *cough* So... As you can see, magical storytelling strikes again. I can feel the magic, I can feel the full circle, it's... Amazing...

Castiel. Castiels story was magical, it was mindblowing. I've never in my entire life seen such a meaningful and deep storyline and I mean this. It's fucking massive. There is this blunt angel soldier, one of the post powerful forces, who was built to blindly obey, who lived for aeons of years, who wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he fell for a broken, suicidal, abused human who never felt loved or worthy the very moment he touched him. He fell so hard he rebelled against his own race, against his own family, against everything he had without any safety. He was the ONLY one in Chuck-knows-how-many universes who GREW outside of Chucks CONTROL! His love was so fucking massive, it couldn't be controlled by the God who built every-fucking-thing. Chuck built millions(?) of parallel universes, heaven, hell, life, death, purgatory, the empty, he created every single being, the light, darkness, every single angel, demon, leviathan, monster, animal, plant, sea, blade of grass, every centimeter of mountains, the four seasons, emotions, what the fuck ever. Everything you can ever think of, Chuck created it. And he controlled it. In every single one of his fucking millions of universes. But not Castiel.This is actually not possible. You can't outrun god. You can't outrun the one who creates, writes and controlles everything. But Cas did. Out of love. And not only that, you also imply that what happened between Dean and Cas was the only thing  that was real. Everything else was corrupted, controlled, manipulated, written by Chuck. But what happened between Dean and Cas, he couldn't affect.

Seeing Cas standing there, crying, confessing his love to Dean actually even makes me think that Dean made Cas human. Dean completed Cas. Cas didn't simply said "I love you", he actually said "In all existing universes, in all millions, all aeons of years, you are my only happiness." And Cas completed Dean. He freed Dean. While Dean was used to being left, was used to feeling worthless and unlovable, Cas saw Dean exactly the way he is and chose to stay. With every obstacle, every difficulty he loved him even more and yes, freed him from the abusive structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. Something that no one else could, not his parents, not Amara, not God, not even Sam. Beautiful, isn't it? Unique. Mindblowing. Pure. You enjoyed it? Let's fuck this up in 3...2...1...

Castiels story ended exactly the same way it started. A blunt angel who doesn't care about people and feelings, blindly carrying out instructions from a new God, obeying heaven. No progress. They threw away 12 years of character development and managed to give him the same stupid and senseless ending like they did with Dean. Dean died and Cas... Wasn't there?! WHAT!? There is no single fucking way Cas wouldn't save Dean or wouldn't be there when Dean enters heaven! There. Is. No. Fucking. Way! The way they represented Cas in the end doesn't only imply that Dean isn't important to Cas anymore, he even ended up exactly the same way as if Season 4-15 wouldn't have happened. The ending is exactly the same! He's with God in heaven, supporting him with instructions, not caring about anything else.

Okay, I got it. Summarizing you can say: Jareds "magical full circle storytelling" is to yeet 95% of the past 15 years. No other characters matter, the story itself doesn't matter, every single characters development doesn't matter, it even doesn't matter what the brothers really want, they don't get it anyway.

Okay. But that's not all. As if this wasn't bad enough, they didn't just butchered ... EVERYTHING, they also salted and burnt every single Mantra they ever stood for. I'll make these short, I promise!

Team Free Will. *snort* Dean couldn't escape his fate, he always believed he'll die on a hunt as Daddys blunt instrument and he did. He kept fighting to die exactly the way he felt he was "supposed to". Message? No matter how hard you keep fighting, no matter how long you'll keep it up, you can't escape your fate. Sam couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started. Cas couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started, same for Jack, he ended how he was supposed to. YEET THE FREE WILL, NONE OF THEM CAN CHANGE ANYTHING!

Family don't end with  blood. The biggest lie that has ever been told. Do I even have to explain that? No need, right? Don't make me wanna throw up again, please. We all know that 15x20 blasted "Family don't end with blood" in millions of pieces.

Always keep fighting. THE AUDACITY to praise that while Dean is dying! After everything Dean has dealt with, It makes me wanna scream. Dean kept fighting, he always kept fighting, no matter how hard it was, no matter what forced him to his knees, he stood up again, and if he wasn't able to stand up, he crawled. He kept fighting no matter what, despite everything. His mindset changed. He wanted to live, he wanted to experience things, feelings and people differently or even for the first time. He changed. He wanted to retire, toes in the sand. He knew he earned it. Thats why he kept fighting. For what? To die the very first moment he had a free will. To die the very first moment he had a choice, had a life to build for himself. Always keep fighting, but the moment you come close to what you want, what you fought for, you die. It's been more than 3 months and I am having tears in my eyes while typing this. As for Dean, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how long you fight, you don't reach what you deserve anyway. Give up. As for Sam, AKF leeds to Emptiness. Grief. Psychological Trauma. Mental illness. Absolutely nothing worth fighting for.

I wanna go cry now, bye.

[everlesslahote1]

“I’d do it all over again sir” (Paul Lahote) -Request

“Could I get a Paul x reader set in eclipse where he imprints on an old friend of Carlisle who is a vamp/shifter but the wolves don’t know that and she is sassy but he try’s to fight the imprint then in the fight she is badass and shifts and he and the wolves are just kind of in awe...abit of angst but fluff ending?” 

-Umm ofc you lovely being, this caught my eye and I was like “omg I love this” so this should be fun. Only thing I am going to change is the x reader and make this a oc and if it bothers you to much let me know and ill change it, Thank you❤.

Paul Lahote x oc

(warning: None that I know of)

-Enjoy!

-

-

-

“Nila, to what do I own this pleasure?” Carlisle said who was happy but confused to see his old friend when her coven was in Utah.

Him and his family now stood on the porch of their lovely home looking up at the girl who clung to a tall tree after hearing the ruckus she rumbled in the woods.

“You know words get around Car , What’s this newborn battle I’m hearing about” she said jumping from the tall tree she was handing from.

“A team up with the wolfs to kick newborn ass, duh” Emmet said as he leaned on the on the banister.

Nila smirked before dropping her face.

He and Nila never really saw eye to eye but they wouldn’t say they ‘hated’ each other just a firm dislike.

He was going to be the biggest in the house but not the toughest, he wanted to give it a go after not seeing her for a while,

“If it isn’t the dumbest Cullen or... should I give that to Edward for falling in love a human” she said looking between Emmet and Edward with her light brown eyes.

Since she wasn’t fully Vampire she didn’t have to drink blood, she could live off human food too.

She only chose human food because she knew everyone’s input on vampires, they all think their sum blood thirsty monster’s.

Her skin wasn’t hot to the touch but wasn’t ice cold either, it was warm like A perfect day to wear a sundress to the beach.

“Why don’t you come in, we were just discussing our plans” Carlisle said with a open hand to the door of his home.

She gave a warm smile to Esme, Rose, Alice, and Jasper which they kindly returned, while she shot a bird at Emmet and not even taking notice to Edward a second time as she stepped into their home.

“Hasn’t changed a bit” she said more to her self looking around.

-

-

-

“so their after Edwards walking blood bag, Why?” Nila said now knowing everything but why they were coming for Bella.

“We have no idea” Carlisle said ignoring the snarky comment from his friend, he knew how she was about anything new and a human in love with a vampire is new for everybody.

She rolled her eye’s, looking over at the window, there stood a huge tan man in a muscle shirt  with cut off jean shorts and black shoes.

His hair was cut low and he smelled of woods and sweat.

“I take it he’s the wolf she lead on while pale face ran off” she said now looking back at Esme.

“Okay how long does she need to stay I mean really, all she’s doing is making comments on everything!” Bella said as Rose chuckled and Nila smirked.

Rose was known for getting under Bella’s skin so she enjoyed watching others do as such, when they first met she knew she had to befriend this little ball of fire.

This is just adding to their bond.

“Hold your tongue or I’ll throw you to the little monsters myself, if anything I’m helping save your ass” She said only half joking on first part.

Which was true, she was helping but she wasn’t doing it for Bella, she was doing it to pay Carlisle back for saving her life almost 60 years ago.

Carlisle found a 16 year old Nila beaten and bruised by her abusive uncle who took her in after her parents died, left for dead in a alley way like she was nothing.

She was beaten so bad, he soon turned her seeing it was the only thing to save her life, all without knowing she would turn into a massive wolf.

It caused problem’s for him and Esme, her anger toward the man who left her for dead almost controlling her making her faze at least 7 times a day. 

Then being something that even the oldest of vampire’s have never heard of, the first of her kind and the only.

A Wolf with the same abilities as a vampires.

A hybrid.

After she learned to control her heightened emotions, Carlisle gave her a choice to stay but she wanted to see the world.

And that he understood.

So she left, later finding a small Vampire coven who soon became her family but she never forgot bout the Cullen Coven, the people who saved her life.

Bella swallowed hard before a glaring Edward grabbed her hand and walked out the room.

“I still like you, I still like her” Rose said smirking at her mate which caused him to roll his eyes.

“we train with the wolfs tomorrow at noon in a open field, be ready” Jasper said as the family walked the hybrid to the door of their home.

“See’ya soldier” she said as her small figure disappears into the night.  

_

_

_

The Next Day...

“Again!” Nila watched Emmet shout at Jasper after losing a match.

“hey, maybe you should give it a break. Ya know? before you pop a bicep” Nila said as she leaned on a tree , not to far back.

Emmet groaned trying to ignore the smart mouth women as his mate kisses his cheek and patted his shoulder.

“Don’t be a sore loser babe” she said smirking as she smiled with Nila.

Rosalie was really liking Nila being around, it was fun having someone to be a buddy with even though the others were dreading it or didn’t pay it any mind she was here.

Everyone treated Rose like she was bomb, one wrong move and the blonde would blow up in everyone’s face.

Which was kind of true but she liked the fact that Nila treated her normally, like she wasn’t cold hearted.

Like she wasn’t on egg shells around her.

Like she wasn’t a monster.

Everyone turned their heads after hearing a car pull up only to find the two love birds jumping out and joining the group.

Not even second’s later tall, like HUGE wolfs emerged from the treat lines slightly growling at those who stood before them.

“Well...Hello doggies” Nila said pushing up off the tree she was leaning on searching over every wolf in her eye sight.

The Pack took attention to the extra leech they have never seen before, especially Paul but he looked down at Carlisle before he could get a good look at her.

“They don’t trust us enough to be in their human forms” Edward said looking at his adoptive father.

“They came, that’s what matters... will you translate?” Carlisle asked as Edward gave a slight nod and stood in front of the wolfs.

Nila heard Bella say something to a rusty brown wolf but payed what ever it was no mind

“Welcome, Jasper as experience with newborns... He can teach us how to defeat them” he gently spoke.

“They wanna know how the newborns different from us” Edward stated.

“Their a great deal stronger then us because-��

“Their own human blood lingers in their tissues” Nila spoke out now coming closer and out of the tree lines.

Carlisle nodded at his friend before continuing.

“our kind is never more physically powerful then in our first several months of this life” he finished before stepping back letting Jasper take the lead.

“Carlisle’s right... That’s why their created” he said pacing.

“A new born army doesn’t need thousands like a human army... but no human army can stand against them”

The wolfs growled lowly as to say ‘we get it’

“the two most important things to remember are first... Never let them get their arms around you, they’ll crush you instantly. And second-” he said keeping eye contact with the wolfs.

“Never go for the obvious kill, they’ll be expecting that. and you. will. lose.... Nila, Emmet!” he shouted making the buff pale man and warm colored girl step forth.

Nila gracefully stood a few feet away from Emmet with a smirk. 

“Don’t hold back steroids” she said in a teasing manner.

“Not in my nature she-devil” he responded in that same manner.

She stood still as Emmet charged at her small figure pushing her back through the dirt and lifting her, throwing her to ground only for her to land on she feet lightly.

Nila saw he was going to play dirty.. she going to show him she could play filthy.

smirking , She ran towards the man with force as he swung a punch toward her but she dodged it, she grabbed and twisted his arm making him turn in mid air before using her elbow to push his back to the ground, she won.

She pinned him.

“Never lose focus, sweet cakes” she said winking and turning back to go back to her spot in the tree’s but she felt eyes on her.

Nila turned around to search of eyes even close to looking at her, only to lock with Paul’s dusty grey ones.

She then felt her world stop as if only it was him and her in the field but she didn’t break eye contact with the wolf.

She saw a future with him, marriage , kids, love. A home.

He saw the same thing... felt the same way...

“One more thing...” Jasper’s voice spoke breaking them from their trance.

‘what the hell was that’ she thought but shook her head looking up to find  Carlisle on the ground who was pinned by Edward.

That soon changed when Carlisle grabbed Edwards ankle bring him down as he now pinned Edward.

“never turn your back on your enemy” he said rolling his eyes.

As it was now Rose and Jasper’s turn to spare , Nila was now to deep in her thoughts to pay any attention , Paul the same.

Pictures of Nila’s light brown eyes flashed through his mind none stop, the vision’s of their future along with them which caught Jared’s attention.

‘oh dude... tell me you didn’t, did you?’ Jared thought.

‘shut up Jared’ 

‘OMG YOU DID!’

‘Will you guy’s focus, our life’s are kind of on the line here’ Paul heard Embry’s voice.

‘Paul imprinted on a leech Em, how am I suppose to focus if she’s flashing in my head. Kim is going to kill me-’

‘Enough’ Sam’s voice spoke.

‘Paul, we’ll talk later now all of you focus’

-

-

-

Training is now over and Nila sat on the steps of the Cullen’s home.

She just couldn’t get the dark grey out of her head.

What was it about him that pulled her to him and why was all she wanted to know I mean come on. she didn’t even know his human form.

“I wouldn’t stress it Ni maybe he just thought you were cute” a holly Alice said long side her.

she smiled gently before she spoke.

“Thanks pixie”

Mean while..

“you have to tell her Paul, she as a right to know” said a annoyed Sam beside Paul as the pack sat in Emily’s kitchen eating a lunch she made for a good luck before the newborn battle they have coming up.

Since training Paul wasn’t himself, almost as if he was missing a part of himself now that he was far from his imprint.

But he also felt disappointed in him self, why a vampire out of all things?

“Sam’s right... You cant stay far without hurting your self too” Jared said as he had a full mouth.

Embry and Quil agreeing with the usually dumb minded wolf.

“Mouth closed Jared” Emily Called out to the young boy, he said a quick sorry before he continued to wolf down his food.

No pun intended.

This angered the hot head Lahote, they don’t know what its like to imprint on your natural born enemy and then had the nerve to tell him to deal with it.

They wouldn’t know how to deal with it unless it happened to them.

“You don’t anything or even what your talking about” He said coldly.

Paul stood out his seat and stormed through back door leaving the conversation he wasn’t ready to have as he ran into the woods fazing mid sprint.

Flashes of the girl the cold one’s call ‘Nila’ going through his head was to much for him so he ran... growling and barking at anything in his path way.

The Battle 

Nila Pov 

 It was now battle day, after two long nights of waiting, her mind still on the dark grey wolf in her mind, it was finally time to let her emotions go and kick some newborn ass.

Bella Stayed with Edward and Jacob far in the hills.

Jacob carried Bella to the camp out not to far from where the battle would be held to mask her scent so the newborns would be lead to the Cullen’s and Wolf’s plus Nila instead of Bella.

Nila kind of hoped the grey wolf would show as they were preparing for battle just so she can at least hold some conversation with him.

ask him what happened at training, why did she feel a pull to be near him all the time, why does her half death body ache when she thinks about her future with out him in it.

it was so much she needed to say.

“Stand tall, here they come” Jasper says as we lined up next to each other.

They listened as the growls grew louder, Foot steps coming closer ,and branches breaking.

Finally at least 20 pairs of blood red eyes came running from the tree lines and The 7 Vampires returning the act.

Jasper heads in first as he threw a power full punch breaking the newborns head like a piece of glass that just dropped.

Emmet using his buff figure to knock another of their feet then turning to twist one’s head right off their shoulders.

Every golden eyed vampire holding their own barely even noticing the pack jumping from the bolder and attacking a hand full of Newborn their self.

Esme grabbed a newborns foot to send then flying in the air for Carlisle to push the cold body down to the ground as his mate throws the monster to the wolfs.

Literally.

Nila was fighting to get the arms of a newborn from around her figure but couldn’t, Paul took notice to her struggle and jumped at the newborn holding her in one quick movement pulling his head off with his shark teeth.

They shared a quick glance before heading their own ways.

As they cleaned all of the newborn’s clean from the open field they were in everyone finally took a breather.

“Yeah never again, that bitch almost killed me” Nila said.

“Language” 

“sorry”

“How long?” Edward said coming from nowhere will Bella on his left like a sea clam.

“A few minutes... maybe ten?” Alice said.

 “the pack needs to leave , the Volturi won’t honor a truce with the werewolves”

 A left over newborn jumped out and a white wolf with tan and grey in its fur attacked without thinking on anything.

“LEAH DONT!” Edward yelled.

The same dark grey wolf Nila as yet to talk to in human form jumped over the said wolf and latched on to the newborn then started to rumble. 

Nila started to tense as the gray wolf started to lose his upper hand on the newborn. 

The newborn got his arms around the grey wolf crushing his spine as Jasper said almost instantly, the wolf dropped to floor turning and whining in pain.

“NO!” Nila said running towards the monster who hurt the grey wolf fazing mid sprint and with one clean movement she torn the newborns head off.

“Paul... Hold on ok, Carlisle’s gonna take care of you” Edward said to the now human laying once where the grey wolf was.

There laid a tan man with the same tattoo as Jacob but buffer with arms in a x to try and help with the pain in his body but it was no use.

Nila’s wolf ran to the mans side ignoring his lack of clothes as she whined, a way of tell Carlisle to help him.

“his bones on the right, half them are shattered” Carlisle said.

5 boys and 1 girl soon came to Paul’s side in a hurry.

“Paul , You idiot! I Had it” Leah shouted.

“Leah!”

“we need to get him out of here , we’re not gonna want a fight with the Volturi” Edward said as Nila laid on her stomach resting her head gently on Paul’s shoulder ,whining.

 “we’ll take him back to Billy’s” Sam said.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can”

The boys started to close in on Paul which Nila didn’t take to kindly , she missed what she was being said between the pack and Carlisle.

All she could focus on was Paul laying flat on the floor who she adored and felt the need to protect, moaning in pain.

Nila growled loudly as the 5 boy came in closer.

“Nila, they’re helping him. let them.” 

She huffed before she started to whine again, hearing cries from Paul brought cries of her own.

“she can come... maybe she could help” Jacob suggest to Sam as they held Paul’s body up.

Sam nodded.

“They’re Coming!” Alice said which made Nila look to Carlisle as to ask could she.

He gave a warm smile before speaking.

“Go”

She hurried and follow the boys and Leah out of the woods.

-

-

-

Nila is now shifted back and everyone is at Billy’s.

Everyone’s out side as Paul screamed, it made her uneasy.

“What are they doing to him!” she asked turning to who she learned was Embry.

“Doc’s rebreaking his bones” she took a deep breath before she heard another one of Paul’s cries.

She slipped her finger into her hair and gripped it slightly.

Nila was freaking out and this wasn’t like her, she was pacing the grass as she tried to block out Paul’s screams. 

“Paul Imprinted on you!” Jared rushed out trying to help the girl at least stay in one spot, all her walking and things were making him nervous.

“nice going jackass”

“really dude”

“Oh my gosh”

“this wasn’t the time...”

“someone had to say it!’

Nila zoned out their babbling as she focused on what she just heard, of course she has heard of imprinting but she just thought she had something on her face and her brain wanted to be over the top.

But instead he imprinted... and he didn’t tell her...

Nila felt her heart clench, was she not good enough to be is imprint? is that why he didn’t say anything?

The door to the little red house shack opened. Carlisle and Sam came out and shut the door.

Once again Carlisle said something and Nila didn’t pay it any mind.

“Nila... He’s asking for you”

She Looked up and shot through the door she walked down the small hall to find Paul on a bed in a pool of sweat and bandages.

He opened his eye’s half way to see her standing in the door way and muffled a laugh.

“so... your the hero wolf” he said in horse.

she gently smiled as she walked closer to the bed and sat on her knees.

“I- guess I am” she said looking up at him in his eyes.

They were beautiful to her, the way they shined even with no light on them.

“Look-” he said trying to sit up.

“Hey! no no no, stay still” she said starting to panic as she placed her small hands on his chest gently pushing him back down.

“ahh”

“Sorry- I’m so sorry- I-I should leave, I’m making things worst-” she said talking fast and getting up.

Paul caught her by her hand feeling the sparks on his skin as they touched.

In all honesty he didn’t want her to leave.

“Stay... please” he said making her slowly take her seat back on the floor, never taking his hand out of hers.

They sat in a peaceful silence before he spoke.

“I should have told you about the imprint... I’m sorry” he said looking at the side of her face but she turned her head to look him in his face.

“it’s okay, I get the whole Vampire werewolf hate thing but before you make up your mind-” she took a deep breath as she finally pulled her hand away from his now picking at her nails.

“I-I don’t think I have the will to stay away from you anymore” she said looking at her hands as he stared at her.

“Then don’t...” he said gently.

She look at his face to see if he was joking about what he said but she found no joking matter expression on his face.

She blushed.

“Lets start over” he said slowly sticking his hand out to shake hers which she gently shook.

“Hi, I’m Paul Lahote. I’m a werewolf, I imprinted on you and Thank you for saving my life ma’am” he said making her giggle.

“Hi, I’m Nila Livid. I’m a Hybrid, I kind of don’t mind-” She said smiling and falling into his eyes.

“and I’d do it all over again sir” she smiled making him smile and hold her hand tighter.

“Nice to meet you Nila”

-

-

-

HAPPY NEW YEARSSSS!❤

[crystal-witchiness]

***Okay so I found this in my notes from May 2021 as a reaction to the scenes in the beginning of Endgame when Captain Marvel first brings Tony and Nebula back to Earth, when they first get off the ship, and when Tony yells at Steve a few scenes later when he looks like ‘Death Warmed Over’ in his robe and i thought I’d share -

Every time someone argues with me about my ABSOLUTE 100% belief that Steve and Tony had romantic feelings for each other, I’ll just show them this scene. “And I needed YOU.” He didn’t say “You guys” or “Your help.” Tony looked at Steve with so much pain in his eyes and said, “I needed y o u.” And Steve is just as broken watching Tony. This isn’t the first time this has happened between them. They had MANY scenes like this in Civil War (but I like to pretend that movie didn’t happen cause ‘ow blow a hole in my ship why dontcha?’) I mean technically I could submit that whole movie as evidence of their feelings but there are too many negative emotions wrapped up in it and it hurts. This movie is the first time they’ve seen each other since Civil War and when Tony first gets off the ship he basically falls into Steve’s arms. First of all, Steve fricking S P R I N T S when he sees Tony getting off the ship, then Tony sighs in relief and lets Steve take his weight. AND IMMEDIATELY begins unloading his grief about losing Peter cause he knew Steve would understand and comfort him. You can SEE s e e when Pepper runs up that (Ofc Tony does another sigh of relief that the snap didn’t take her (which I wish it did sorry Pepper your character stopped being interesting in the 2nd Iron Man)) Tony has to pull himself off of Steve and pretend to have it more together than he does because Pepper immediately begins crying and Tony has to comfort her. But Steve doesn’t leave his side. Tony cradling Pepper but he’s turning his body so that Steve can cradle him and ugh. Honestly I would have accepted a polyamorous relationship. Tony NEEDED someone to be the leader. THATS LITERALLY WHAT PEPPER WAS TALKING ABOUT. Tony NEVER rests because he always thinks he has to be the one to do everything, EXCEPT for when Steve’s around. Steve is the Captain and even though they bump heads (a lot, awww couples’ squabbles) Tony ALWAYS defers to Steve when it’s important. And Steve? Steve HAS to be a leader, to be helpful, in a healthy way because he couldn’t be that for most of his life in the past. He was a scrawny defenseless guy who always had to depend on Bucky. So to be able to take care of this group of wonderful people who are so powerful and yet STILL NEED STEVE? It’s who he his. It’s who Tony is too but he doesn’t WANT to be that way, he does it because he has to. He does it when no one else can or he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. This scene right now is Tony feeling helpless and so he lashes out at the easiest person, Steve. Steve is their leader and has saved them many times. Tony saw that picture of Peter and couldn’t handle his own feelings of helplessness so he lashed out to bring down the next ‘leader figure’ of the group. Steve and Tony have always been the parents of the Avengers. Steve is the most dad-est dad ever to dad. Meanwhile, Tony invites everyone to live with him while feeding them, clothing them (armor and civilian clothes) and making sure they have top of the line protection. HE LITERALLY EVEN SAYS THIS IN AGE OF ULTRON. SUCH a mom. So he wanted to make Steve feel his pain because Steve made a promise that they would lose together and Steve wasn’t there on that moon. And OF COURSE Tony knows that Steve was on earth fighting his own battle against Thanos but he wasn’t WITH Tony. And they are always stronger together than apart. (Civil War kinda proved this too) Tony sees Steve’s absence as the reason they lost, because ‘if only they’d been together’ ‘maybe we could have won if we’d only been together.’

ALSO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TONY LITERALLY GIVING STEVE A REPRESENTATION OF HIS HEART. I know he did it out of anger and to make a point but he took away this piece of him, that he made SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE FELT VULNERABLE WITHOUT THE ARC, and gave it to Steve. Once again shedding that responsibility and giving it to Steve. Because even with the residual anger over Civil War, Tony trusts Steve. He says otherwise in this moment out of anger but that “vision” he talks about here? He literally watches Steve die (YEAH THATS RIGHT I SAID STEVE. Not PEPPER, NOT RHODEY, NOT ANY OF THE OTHER AVENGERS.) Wanda showed him his worst fear in Age of Ultron and it was the death of the Avengers, but he didn’t see THEM die. Everyone else, Thor, Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were already dead. Tony watched STEVE die and it was STEVE saying that Tony could’ve saved them that spurred him into creating Ultron. He was so scared of losing them and letting Steve down (and letting him die) that he wanted to wrap the whole world in armor to protect him. And he tries to do it again in this scene. He means it to be spiteful but he gives Steve his armor and tells him to hide from Thanos. WHICH IS ANOTHER THING UGH. Tony doesn’t know that out of all of the people who fought Thanos in Wakanda that day, Steve was the one who engaged in hand-to-hand combat with him. Everyone else had armor and suits, weapons, etc. Steve has his serum strength and he u s e d it. It didn’t help for very long but he used his BARE HANDS to fight an alien-monster wielding 5/6 of ALL POWERFUL infinity stones, and ofc he was never going to win, but even Thanos looked at Steve in incredulity at his bravery and resolve. A human (a super charged one at that but still a human) fought him with his bare hands and wasn’t going to stop. (Steve proved this again at the end of Endgame when he’s the last one standing against Thanos and his entire army and just tightens the strap on his broken shield, (and most likely broken arm, based on the flinch/hiss) and readies himself to fight alone. Steve also gave Wanda time to destroy the mind stone (unfortunately, that didn’t mean anything in the end)

AND YET Tony doesn’t know any of this. He doesn’t know how hard Steve fought, just like Tony did on Titan, to stop Thanos. And I REALLY wish we had seen Tony’s reaction to Steve standing up to Thanos at the end of Endgame OR EVEN WIELDING MJOLNIR, but anyways.

Back to the basics. Boss level stuff most people don’t remember or think about- Tony’s dad very unhealthily IDOLIZED Steve. He canonically compared everything Tony did to Steve. So Tony grew up idolizing this man that he also despised because it fueled his father’s abuse of him. Tony shows this anger in the first Avengers. When they have their argument on the quinjet. “Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” He even says something about how Steve didn’t live up to his father’s hype (I don’t remember Tony’s exact words but that’s the gist) And ofc Steve says Tony’s nothing without his armor. But then they go on the prove each other wrong multiple times, but mainly in their last moments in the MCU. Steve proves it by standing alone against an ENTIRE alien army and later by picking up mjolnir. And Tony? Tony is that ONE factor in a million that Stephen sees. Tony, a beautifully pure human-being, with no powers or serums to help, takes on the powers of the stones. KNOWING it would kill him. He had proof. It nearly killed Thanos and Bruce and they were hulking (pun intended) beings with super strength and all that.

Tony and Steve were always set up to be spoils to one another and that makes them perfect together. They balance each other out. Pepper was a boss b****, no doubt, and I loved their relationship in the first two Iron Man movies, but as their characters grew and Tony’s personality was intrinsically changed through trauma- Pepper was no longer right for him. She was good for him, no doubt, but Tony couldn’t relax with her as he did with Steve. Tony could trust Steve to take over and everything could be fine. Pepper was like that for Stark Industries but not in other ways. Tony always saw himself as Pepper’s protector. I will 100% give her props for telling Tony that he’d never rest until he tried Scott’s time travel theory, but other than that she wasn’t particularly supportive of Iron. Man. What Pepper never seemed to understand, and what Steve didn’t understand when he FIRST met Tony, is that Tony and Iron Man are synonymous. Their is no ‘man outside the suit.’ Tony Stark is Iron Man and Iron Man is Tony Stark. Steve was placed into an already created persona of Captain America. Steve didn’t create Captain America even though that’s who he was. He was literally MADE for the role. Tony on the other hand, MADE Iron Man. He was the one who built the first suit - dying in a cave in Afghanistan. He was the one who took responsibility for Obadiah and his father’s actions and became a superhero to save the countries that were affected by Stark tech. Steve may have volunteered to be a superhero because he felt like he had no one other choice but Tony DIDN’T HAVE TO. He had fame, money, power, ALL OF IT. He could’ve EASILY hidden his company’s dark underside once he found out. But instead, Tony was like “Hey um so my company has done some bad things and instead of delegating aid through my money and power, I’m going to personally handle this with a titanium alloy suit and technology that I helped create in a cave while being held captive by a terrorist cell.”

Where was I going with this? OH YEAH.

I will believe in TonyxSteve (Stony) for the rest of my life and I will use fanfiction to fill the void of their deaths. Basically, if I lost anyone in the word vomit above, what I’m trying to say is that- Steve and Tony completed each other. They provided something the other needed. Tony needed stability and protection. He needed to feel like he could let go. Steve needed an anchor in the present. Someone lively and opinionated, SOMEONE ADVENTUROUS AND FUNNY, who Steve could smile with and protect. But also. Steve trusted Tony to be a leader as much as Tony trusted him. They had their ups and downs. Trauma and the Accords didn’t help their relationship at all, but should’ve been it for each other. And I honestly believe they would have t h r i v e d.

.

.

.

Honestly I applaud anyone who made it this far. I don’t know where this all came from but I will not apologize✌🏻

I rest my case your honor.

[robinrequiems]

mmm more clishes.... Idk reverse background or personality kind of au? :/

ill do you one better 1 of my favorite mutual, reverse & personality au, they’re the same age bc I have a tiny idea *shy hands*

this is uh. a really long one thay started to lag my phone too

• oh god guys I got vivid memories of ra’s being a good grandfather and I can’t get it out of my head

• i hate it ur honor

• but ok. krypton didn’t get blown up, instead, they all migrated to earth, more specifically kansas.

• the kryptonians are angry and enraged, they are treated as if they are monsters when they arrived peacefully. they tried to kill them.

• so in return, the aliens killed the humans.

• they created a secret underground. that secret underground is to help aliens or meta humans and kill humans.

• all of them hated aliens and sought to destroy them. until kal el found a reporter trying to help aliens who were injured due to an explosion the government did to take out one of their bases.

• kal el.. fell in love with her. lois lane, she is an reporter fighting for alien rights.

• he met with her. in secret. and they.. had formed a connection. an amazing one.

• and then they had a baby.

• at the alien base, but.. she was human and people did not like that. so they wiped her mind and made her believe that they never had a kid. like the last few months.. wasnt real. she had gone missing those months since the aliens didn’t want her trying to hide the baby, they made her believe the last few months was spent in a coma and kal had found her and taken her to a hospital.

• he couldn’t see her anymore. he mourned for her lost presence, but they would have killed her if she stayed.

• but now they had precious jon el. he would be the highlight of their cause.

• they noticed his powers came in faster than kal’s, so they perfected his powers.

• he was going to bring humanity down on order of his grandfather, jor el

• kal saw his son break slowly. loses that childhood innocence that kal tried to maintain.

• his sons amazing bright blue eyes dulling, loses the spark that he cherished.

• kal was going to get him out of there, try to refuge the remaining childhood he had. even if it killed him.

—

• damian wayne! the bright bubbly and prodigal son of bruce and talia wayne ( b & t are married, suck my— ). the press loved him, he was just.. him. he was the baby and was cute, the cutest ever

• he was an expert in martial arts due to the training his grandfather, father, mother, & so much more gave him

• ra’s owns a farm. he’s.. sorry all i get is farm ra’s vibes due to.. something:) think endgame thanos, yk?

• he was the baby robin, one that you never messed with due to the herd of heroes who would come save him

—

• kalel left jon with Lois, a brief note explaining the current situation

• it was weird, jon was ten and was meeting lois for the first time

“Hi, honey.. I’m lois.”

“I know.. Dad told me about you.”

“Oh.. right. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“No! I’m not hungry!”

• an explosive, superpower alien. Lois is way out of her head.

• he had outbursts, a lot of them. it was hard, really hard for Lois; she took some time off from the planet and focused on jon

• he broke a lot of stuff. he sometimes could not control his strength, but she was working with him

• but then one night he ran away, or flew away. he felt remorse for making Lois cry. she saw this as a win, but she lost her kid

• but then a little robin found him

“Um. Are you okay?”

“Huh-what- what do you want? Why are you talking to me?”

“Because you look sad? Yknow - hugs make people feel better. My ahki ( brother ) hugs me when I’m upset and it makes me feel better.”

“Don’t touch me.”

*Damian walked to him, smiling softly* “cmon, i won’t hurt you, silly. I’m robin.”

“A bird?”

“Haha- no, a vigilante- i sorta snuck out. My family can be a bit overbearing- and I sorta embarrassed myself at this theater thing.. some person—“

“Did I ask?”

“No.. sorry.”

“Hey— what are you doing - !”

“Hugging you.”

Jon won’t admit that he likes it, it’s different and weird, like this traffic cone in front of him. Jon pushed him off though, making himself stumble and fall on his ass.

“Ow..”

“Don’t touch me.” With rhat, Jon flew off into the night. Damian didn’t know who this boy was. But he intended on finding out. Even if it killed him. ( maybe not that extreme, but- )

• look damian was smart, right? smarter than average, and smarter than everyone in his school. teachers included ( ha ha )

• so he had to find this boy! so he started looking into aliens. until his family put an end to it

“Damian, this is dangerous.”

“But baba ( dad )”

“No. Go to your room.”

“Ugh!”

• he did slam his door shut if you were wondering

• he will find the mysterious alien boy, okay? he will!

• his brothers teased him and said he had a crush

• no he didn’t! the boy was really mean, he pushed damian- why would he do that? whatta jerk!

• but damian did find him again when he ventured off to metropolis to visit an old friend, colin.

“Alien boy!”

“That’s not my name, bird boy.”

“And that’s not mine. You didn’t tell me yours!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s safer for you.”

“I can defend myself. You sound so silly, please tell me your name?”

“No.”

“‘Least the first initial?”

“Fine. J.”

“J it is.”

“Yours?”

“Wha- what? I told you my code named.”

“It’s only fair.”

“.. Okay. D.”

“D. Okay.”

• damian talked to him for a bit before jon did fly off when damian was talking about the stars, damian knew he was getting closer to him

• but he got grounded. whoops. he wasn’t supposed to go out

“Give me your phone, Damian.”

“What if I go out? I need a phone, baba.”

“I.. Your computer”

“School work.”

“Switch.”

“What! No- but-!”

“Damian.”

• yeah damian was very mad, but what made him madder was that apparently, his family was listening to the secret conversations between J and him. but d didn’t know that yet..

• his family needed to track down J, they didn’t care if people were aliens, the JL had aliens.. but they had no idea who this boy was, and the way damian was looking into the underground alien sanctuary, that worried rhem. Damian was smart and cunning, but he is able to portray an innocent persona, they all had the habit of undermining his intellect, so if damian began looking into this, it was for a reason

—

• jon found that D rambled. A lot. Even when jon didn’t respond. Jon doesn’t even know how D always found where he was. It’s so weird.

• but Lois noticed a change in jon.. he was. calmer. she didn’t know how, but when he went out, he came back calmer.

“I have to go to Gotham for a gala hosted by Bruce Wayne, would you.. like to come?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d like you to, but you don’t have to.”

“.. Fine.”

—

• lois walked to bruce with Jon in tow.

• “bruce.” “Lois, looking lovely as always.. who is this?” “Jon, my son. Say hi, Jon.” “Hi..” “He can hang around one of my sons— Damian, if you want? I’m sure him and his friends would love to have Jon around.” “What do you say Jon? Would you like that?” “Not really..” “I assume you, Damian doesn’t bite. Not anymore. And he’s pretty accepting.” “.. Fine.”

• damian was called over by his father and he did a double take. J. Was here. In front of him. Damian just internally shrugged and held a hand out, “Hi! I’m Damian! Wanna go play with my friends! there’s a game room so we don’t have to be with the gross adults.. you can also just.. sit there. My friends are pretty.. Loud?” “Okay.”

• jon had to take his hand back from damian since damian began eagerly tugging him.

“Damian seems to be accepting him pretty easily.” “I hope they can be friends, Jon.. doesn’t have any. I have only recently got him from his.. father.” “Odd, does he go to school?” “No, not yet, I’m still trying to get him adjusted.” “Ah.. Damian goes to West-Reeves. Maybe he could go there?” “That private school? Bruce.. I cannot afford that- not all of us are millionaires.” “Mhm.. I could pay.” “I can’t let you do that.” “He could get a scholarship.” “In what?” “Academics or athletics.” “Ill.. Talk to him about it. “ “well, ms lane, I just go talk with potential partners, I’ll see you later.”

—

• j got accepted into west reeves under a athletic thingy.

• that was cool. they became best friends!

• sorta

• flashforward 5 years to 15, their dynamic only grew. Damian told Jon his identity, jon didn’t become a hero, but did learn how to stitch damian up because tje idiot showed up bleeding a lot.

• everything was going great

On the phone, Damian: J! J! Guess what’

J: you’re so loud, D, what?

D: I got the lead! In the play!

J: no fucking way?

D: way!

J: Good j—— *crash*

D: J-?

D: J- Jonathan?

D: oh no.

• the call was ended abruptly. Jon always finished his sentences. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

• so damian called Lois quickly and ran downstairs to the batcave, lois wasn’t picking up either, she normally always picked up or at least sent a text. She did neither

“Baba!”

“Damian? You should be asleep.”

“Something’s wrong! Somethings really wrong!”

“Jon and Lois- Jon- I heard a crash- and- and”

“Habibi.”

“Mama?”

“Breathe; tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was on a call with Jon.. I told him about the play since I wanted him to go and stuff. Then I heard a crash. And then the line went dead. I’m scared— what if something happened!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, what happened with Lois?”

“She didn’t pick up the phone— she normally does! Or she texts me and says she will call back!”

“Maybe she is asleep.”

“No! You need to believe me!”

“Damian, calm down, I do, we will go to see if they’re okay, you get back to bed.”

“No. I’m coming with.”

“No you arent.”

“But!”

“Listen to your father.”

• okay fine. He’ll listen, damian went back up to his room for half an hour before calling his friends to do a rescue mission. He had an extra suit in his room, he can do this.

• with his team, it consisted of shazam, abuse, nobody, and green lantern, himself too, of course.

• captain marvel picked him up once he was ready and they met up with the other 3.

Maya: you said he’s in trouble?

Dami: Yes.

Colin: than let’s go save him!

• they went and saved the bestie, nearly got killed too

• oh and now damians sorta probably grounded when batman shows up 🤡

J:You came for me..?

D:We all did.. why are you so surprised?

J: * wraps his arms around damian * thank you

D: i- yeah.. anytime. what’re friends for?

• friends. Jon liked that. Jon also liked the way Damian’s cheeks went red when jon hugged him

• jon knew he chuckled before Damian’s arms wrapped around him. hard. Damian was a hard hugger

• jon became a superhero at 16. Damian had even more of a reason to sneak into his window every night now! Lois had began thinking the two were dating

D: Us? Dating? Please! He is way too good for me!

J:

L: awwww, gosh, how haven’t you been swept off your feet yet?

J: he has, but he has rejected them all

D: what can I say? I’m a gay theater kid ( this is a /j i promise a big big joke ) so they gotta be dramatic enough to put up with me, AND they need to do something big and bold to actually catch my eye

L: *laughs* take notes, jon

J: mom!

• jon has gone to a few of Damian’s plays and to dress rehearsals

• he was also there to watch damian wreck a car during his drivers test

D: there was a fricking squirrel there, J!

J: are you sure? maybe you’re just a shitty driver?

D: you’re a shitty driver!

J: cmon don’t pout

D: ‘m not!

• he was pouting. oopsie. jon did get him ice cream after

• jon goes by abnormal, because he’s an alien and because I don’t have any other ideas

J: this girl asked me out

M: oh? who! tell us!

D: ..what?

J: yeah, in my physics class

T: ooh! get it, jonno

M: give us a name, coward!

J: her name is Charlotte— but she goes by charlie. she’s.. different. red head. pretty freckles—

M: pretty freckles? does Jonny have a crush?! Oh my gosh, our sons growing up, Tai!

T: im about to start sobbing

J: fuck offff— D?

D: huh?

J: you’re being quiet, you plotting??

D: uh. yeah! duh- *he nudged jons shoulder with his, forcing a grin* figuring out ways to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.

J: sucha brat- * jon ended up putting Damian into a playfully chokehold *

• damian just played along. he just smiled and watched as jon began walking with her instead of their friend group

M: hey- kid- you alright?

D: I’m onto a year younger than you Maya.

M: tou didn’t answer the question

D: I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? You’re silly.

• tai ended up pulling him aside

T: when are you going to tell him?

D: how am I supposed to when he basically has a girlfriend now?

T: are you just gonna sit there and pine all day??

D: yes, thank you for understanding

• he’s a stubborn little shit and will absolutely not confess, his best friend is happy, who is he to ruin that?

T: he’s totally jealous.

J: so- do you- do you think it’ll work? That he’ll be surprised?

T: totally

J: thank you for lending me your girlfriend, Maya

M: anytime- not literally- you aren’t having her again

• this was all a trick, sorry, d.. jon does like you

• ( hope you all saw that foreshadowing earlier :) )

• damian needed big and dramatic. jon was gonna do that. even if he was uh. sorta aloof and shy.

• he learned how to sing and play the guitar for Damian. maya and tai were gonna scatter flower petals onto the floor for Damian to follow ( they will tell him too too )

• the whole school will probably watch as Damian finally gets a big dramatic proposal

• damian will love it

M: just follow the petals!

D: I’m confused

M: trust us

• damian did and followed the petals and low and behold, jon kent with a guitar and small smile

D: j-jon?

J: hey. I wrote you a song

D: no you didn’t

J: shut up and listen dumbass

*after that amazing song of how Jon asked damian out to homecoming*

D: that was amazing

J: dramatic enough for you?

D: YES! ( damian went and sprinted to jon, hugging him so tightly before leaning in to kiss him ) we are boyfriends now right

J: yeah, idiot

D: ur the idiot

• I can’t add anymore because myphones really laggy, I hope you enjot

[jackcinephile]

LO Fans: "I love Lore Olympus because it deals with serious themes, like sexual assault, abuse, gaslighting, trauma, and mental health issues!"

Me, who spent my life discovering and obsessing over masterpieces like this:

"You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that to impress me."

Yeah, I never understood that kind of praise. For one thing, people act like LO is groundbreaking for that reason, despite there being countless movies, books, tv shows, comics, and video games that also deal with the same themes. That isn't to say there can't be more stories like this, however. I, for one, am begging for another video game that comes close to the emotional resonance of Silent Hill 2, or for a faithful adaptation of Dracula and/or Phantom of the Opera, or for a horror movie as unsettling as The Howling! But to say any new story that deals with these themes is unique for doing so, is just simply not true. Lore Olympus is no more unique than any of these stories. Also, I don't understand the praise that Lore Olympus is great just by virtue of having these themes in the first place. Just because a story has serious themes, doesn't automatically make it good. Far too often does LO use its themes as a crutch for a plot that is standard issue among romances, as opposed to stories like The Howling, which has a very intriguing, outlandish plot that serves as a catalyst to explore themes of very real and relatable horror. Lore Olympus, without its intense themes, is just another story about the CEO falling in love with his intern. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE those kinds of stories, but Lore Olympus just doesn't really do it for me. And the poorly executed themes just hamper it even further for me.

If it wasn't already apparent, has anyone noticed a pattern between these titles? All but one are horror stories. In my opinion, that is one of the key differences between them and LO: Horror! The themes within, are ones that illicit terror, and the stories reflect that (even Phantom of the Opera--don't listen to anyone who says it's a romance). Starting with Dracula, one of the scenes that horrified me the most in the book was the one where Count Dracula sneaks into Mina's bedroom. The book describes him slitting open his own vein and forcing her to drink his blood. Mina then expresses feelings of violation, much akin to what rape survivors feel. It doesn't pull any punches in its shocking, horrific portrayal, but it never comes off as exploitative. That's because the best horror stories rely on the audience's empathy. In this case, nobody wants to feel violated, so we feel as horrified as the characters do when we read about this grotesque event. And because it is about illiciting fear through empathy, Dracula succeeds where Lore Olympus fails. Lore Olympus, before all else, is a romance. And rape should not be in a romantic story. Especially not when the narrative of LO uses this trauma to validate the relationship between the two leads. I'm not a fan of stories that use trauma to validate a relationship between romantic interests, and I think that partly stems from reading the Phantom of the Opera.

If you ask me, Phantom of the Opera is one if the best books to discuss abuse and gaslighting ever written! Despite misconceptions generated by the popularity of the musical, PotO is very much a horror story with hardly any romance at all. And it's one of the best examples about why using trauma to validate a romance is a very bad idea! You see, all the conflict of the story begins with The Phantom and his trauma. He was born with multiple physical deformities that cause him to look like a living corpse. Because of this, he is despised and rejected by the world in order to escape the hatred of the world, he commissions the construction of the Paris Opera House, complete with intricate catacombs where he can live out the rest of his miserable days. Then one day, a woman named Christine comes to work at the Opera as a chorus girl. She is sad and alone due to her being orphaned, without a friend in the world. She too is emotionally damaged and the Phantom thinks this means she'll understand him. The trouble begins instantly when he claims to be a character from a folktale that Christine's father used to tell her. This is when the manipulation and gaslighting begins. Part of what makes this so effective is how we see it from an outside perspective. The protagonist, Raoul, is in love with Christine and we get to see his confusion and growing concern when he starts realizing Christine is showing signs of an abusive relationship. What makes the relationship even worse is the fact that Christine actually does understand The Phantom. So she doesn't run away not only out of fear, but also compassion. She knows what it's like to feel isolated and dead to the world and The Phantom uses that against her. The more I describe this, the more parallels I begin to see to Hades' and Minthe's relationship. Yes, Minthe abused Hades in much of the same way as The Phantom abused Christine. Notice how Minthe keeps convincing Hades that they're the only people who understand each other, even going so far as to say, "We're the same." The funny thing is, that's exactly what the narrative uses to validate Hades' and Persephone's relationship! It tries to establish that Hades and Persephone relate to each other and they say, several times, "We're the same," to each other. But this is exactly how Hades got stuck in a toxic relationship with Minthe, so why is it suddenly okay now? Relationships that use shared trauma to validate themselves are almost always doomed to become toxic, in one way or another.

So what about the healthy relationship in Phantom of the Opera? Well, it's kinda interesting actually. You see, Christine eventually comes to realize that she needs help, so she turns to the protagonist, Raoul, to get her away from the Phantom. Raoul has an interesting character arc because he starts the novel being pretty immature and kinda selfish. He doesn't really take Christine's feelings into consideration. It's more like a boy chasing his childhood crush (actually that's exactly what happens). However, over the course of the story, as he becomes increasingly concerned with her well-being, he learns to care more about her feelings and her needs. This culminates in the climax, when he's willing to crawl through hell itself for her sake. I bring all this up because I wanted to compare Raoul with Hades as well. Hades is a very consistent character. He doesn't need an arc like Raoul because, from the very beginning, he's willing to put all of Persephone's needs before his, to a fault! That is his entire purpose within the narrative of LO. He exists to serve Persephone. Raoul didn't exist to serve Christine. He had his own journey of growing and maturing. And Christine didn't exist to serve Raoul either. It bothers me that a novel from 1910 has a more well-rounded relationship than a modern comic! Actually, now that I think about it, isn't Persephone's entire character arc supposed to be her learning that she shouldn't exist to serve others? Well, that totally contradicts Hades' role in the story, doesn't it? He exists to serve her! I guess, in the eyes of LO, it's only okay if men serve women, but not for women to serve men. Newsflash: neither is okay.

Now Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931) remains, to this day, one of the most terrifying movies I've ever seen! That's all thanks to its brutal depictions of domestic abuse. So Dr. Henry Jekyll believes the solution to enlightening the human race is to separate the good and evil in our souls. He solves this problem by creating a drug to do just that, which transforms him into Edward Hyde, but he becomes addicted and starts terrorizing a woman who was once a former patient of his. I think what makes this so effective, when compared to LO, is one simple factor: Fear. I am terrified of Edward Hyde, but whenever Apollo shows up, I'm just annoyed. That's because Hyde isn't being used to sell an agenda, while Apoll is. Apollo is all about making a statement about toxic masculinity, which always bothered me from the very beginning! Being an abusive cunt who rapes women has nothing to do with masculinity! It doesn't matter if you're masculine or feminine, anyone can be a cunting abusive rapist. If you are a rapist, it's because you're a monster who lacks empathy, not because of masculinity. And if you think masculinity has something to do with a lack of empathy, fuck off! Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is not about toxic masculinity. It's about how drug addiction can often hurt other people around us just as much, if not moreso, than ourselves. It also doesn't use rape to validate a relationship between characters. I'm sorry, but that is just the laziest storytelling technique. When the antagonist is a rapist OF COURSE the male love interest is going to look better by comparison! But when you take Apollo out of the equation, Hades stops looking like a desirable love interest real fucking quick.

So yeah, I think Hades makes for a bad love interest. That's mostly because he's so much like Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yeah, the one title from the list above that's not a horror, but is no less relevant. The thing is, both Hades and Shinji have a lot in common, such as hating themselves, having a bad relationship with their father, and not caring at all about their own wants and needs. Oh, also Asuka's a better written character than Minthe, but that's a whole other topic. What makes Evangelion work, in my opinion, is that Shinji's whole journey is about learning to love himself, while Hades is portrayed as being perfect the way he is. Hades in LO is like a flawless beacon of virtue, solely because he worships the ground Persephone walks on. But the guy just doesn't care about himself at all! Like I said earlier, Hades guilty of the same self-destructive behaviors as Persephone but he's praised for it, while Persephone is encouraged to look after herself more often. Compare this to Shinji, whose life only gets worse the more he neglects himself. The only time Hades does something beneficial for himself is when he breaks up with Minthe, but immediately after that, he starts devoting every ounce of energy to Persephone! All that matters is her! He doesn't give a single fuck about himself. Sorry, but that's not good qualities in a male love interest. In all fairness, this is a problem with the romance genre as a whole. Most romances give priority to the protagonist (in this case Persephone) while neglecting the love interest (Hades). It's why I have a serious problem with the entire genre.

Now what could Silent Hill 2 have that is in any way relevant to Lore Olympus? Two words: Nightmare Fuel. Personifying trauma as literal demons is one of the smartest ideas anyone's ever had, because speaking from personal experience, that's how it feels. I just don't feel like the trauma experienced by the characters in LO is a waking nightmare like it is in real life. For one, the characters' trauma only pops up when it's convenient for the plot. Like whenever Persephone starts experiencing ptsd, it happens when she's with Hades so we can get a scene with Hades cuddling her. After that, it shows up in a scene to make her look badass by confronting Apollo. No, just no. The Howling did it better too, by making the protagonist's trauma such an inconvenience in her life! I never felt that way in LO. When you uss traumatic encounters to make your character look like a badass, kindly fuck off.

[crow-with-a-knife]

what are your ocs first b4 the playlists I'd love to learn abt them ^-^

You’ve opened this can of worms now lie in it

Gosh I get so so excited when people ask about my OCs!!! Okay so I have a few but the one I’ve put the most work into is Akumu! She’s my MHA oc and as @villainsandvictimsalliance can tell you, I gave her a lot of trauma. Like a lot. So her name is Kage Kuragari but her villain name is Akumu and her quirks are illusion and mind breech! Mind breech allows her to see into your head if she touches you and she typically does this to find out what you worst fears are. Her second quirk, illusion, allows her to create the illusion of absolutely anything which includes the sensation of physical pain. She can overload your brain with this to the point where it kills you. She can use it without touching you but if you’re someone she holds a grudge against (like a hero) then she’ll make it a point to find out your personal nightmare and trap you in it with her illusions, hence the name Akumu (nightmare in Japanese). Her backstory is some good old trauma. Lotsa angst ahead. Her parents were low tier hero’s who physically and verbally abused her and then gaslit her into believing that was okay so she still was attached to them and loved them. Once her father held her arms in fire as punishment for a minor mistake she made which is why she wears such long gloves (to cover burn scars). One day she was playing outside with her little brother when her house was crushed with her parents inside by a villain vs hero fight and she was on the streets, trying to take care of her little brother. That was when she was around 8. When she was 15 she saw her brother die in the crossfire of another hero villain fight which sparked even more hatred for hero’s in her. Now she’s ✨incredibly traumatized✨ with a burning desire to bring down hero society. Oh also a side affect of her quirk if she overuses it is she goes into severe manic episodes which sometimes makes her illusions lash out at the nearest person (though not always). Here’s so pictures of her but I’m changing her design soon so she her pants are a different color since my friend said they liked blue better than red for her pants.

(Btw the text says “why should I apologize for being a monster? No one ever apologized for turning me into one.”)

There’s her getting traumatized. Also I drew burns from memory and didn’t reference so they look sucky but that’s her as a kid out on the streets and the blue sticky note sketch is her looking at her dad in fear as a child. Anyways thank you so so much for asking!!!! I love talking about my OCs and I get so excited when I’m asked about them!!! Ty ty ty!!!!

Please let me know if you guys need me to tag anything!

[sketch-shepherd]

30 Day Ginga Challenge, but I do it all at once

Yeah fuck it, like I said in my previous post every time I try to do this new Ginga challenge I fuck up and never finish it. I think I only ever got past like Day 6 on this list but this is the only way I’m gonna finish it now lol. 

As I said before... ik this isn’t the write way to do a Ginga challenge but what the hell. Prompt list created by @jersokoi

Also these are just my opinions, please don’t take them personally or as the gospel. If you’re upset by me liking/not liking something then feel free to do your own version of this challenge. It literally costs you nothing. 

This is gonna be looooong so here we go 

Day 1: Favorite Character Kyoushiro, excluding The Last Wars and Densetsu Noah. I know Ginga characters are rarely consistent and almost all of them end up being ruined in some way at some point but I still love Kyoushiro for his character in his debut and most parts of GDW, especially the Russian arc. You guys know me and my soft spot for “jerk with a heart of gold” characters, and Kyoushiro is just a really layered character when it comes to his backstory and his role in the story as a leader who protects abused pups. 

Unfortunately like many I’m not fond of the way Teru’s dad’s redemption was handled and how Kyoushiro agreed with Weed straight up bullying Teru into having to forgive his abusive father for no other reason than “He’s your dad no matter how bad he was to you!” yada yada (something we rewrote/removed in our dub if that counts). And I’m not even gonna get started on his Jyoushiro persona in GDN. 

But Kyoushiro still holds a special place in my heart. I stanned him a lot as a kid because I literally saw myself in him back then, and honestly still might do now. Other runner-ups for this spot include Riki, Orion, and Tesshin.   Day 2: Favorite Pack/Clan The Koga clan! I know I’m just being a basic bitch with this one but I honestly don’t think this prompt needs a lot of thought put into it. I love the breed designs, the major characters like Kurojaki and Tesshin, their backstory, the entire Iga/Koga arc pretty much, and how they go from minor villains in GNG to the Ohu army’s allies in GDW and onwards. They have such a cool aesthetic and they’re all just very memorable. They’re fun to design and have a lot of interesting story potential when it comes to making Koga OC’s lol. 

My second favorite would probably be the Russian dogs. 

Day 3: Favorite Leader/Platoon Leader Riki, no contest. He’s such a simple character who’s a fatherly figure to everyone including Gin, despite not even remembering him as his son for most of the series. He’s compassionate, determined, and has such a warm and understanding personality and only does the best for his soldiers and his home. There’s a reason he’s such an iconic character.

Day 4: Favorite Villain Kaibutsu, another character I’ve talked a lot about before just for how sympathetic he is and how he’s a subversion of most giant monster villains. While his tragic backstory and broken friendship with Jerome does seem a bit more one-sided than I felt it did before, I can understand the intent to try and make him a sympathetic but also irredeemable villain, and he delivers that pretty well when it comes to his story and his scare factor. 

My other favorite villains include Kurojaki and Masamune. 

Day 5: Emotional Scene Oh boy this is a hard one. For a scene that isn’t a death scene... I really love Ben and Cross’ conversation in GNG episode 18 before he went off to fight Sniper. The music, Ben and Cross’ exchange where neither of them knew if Ben was going to die, and the raw ass quote “I’m not going out there to die; I’m going their for the sake of my honor”, such a powerful scene between a parting husband and wife. 

Other emotional scenes I considered putting here are Tesshin delivering Gin’s speech in GDW episode 15 and Gin and Daisuke parting ways in GNG episode 8 and 21 

Day 6: Favorite Scene Again, this is just one of many but I’ll have to go with the extremely iconic scene of Akame burning down the Iga Manor. In concept a lot of people have found it hard to take seriously since the entire feud hangs on dogs trying to retrieve century-old messages they can’t even read for their human masters that already died out long ago. But the weight and the characterization just somehow makes it work in execution, and it still manages to be an emotional albeit campy scene. 

Day 7: Character you wish had more screentime Koshiro, the infamous member of the Ginga Hall of Mysteriously Disappeared Characters. Sucks that his last moments were him getting fucking beaten up by his asshole dad. Also Nobutora and Harutora who barely even have any LINES for all their appearances. They’re literally Kurotora’s sons too for fuck’s sake, why is it only Kagetora who has to have all the fun?  Day 8: Favorite Parent I already mentioned Riki so I’ll put down my second favorite parental character in Ginga- Cross! She’s a simple doting mom and reasonable authority figure as well as a surrogate parent to other puppies, and she can go from sweet and nurturing to sassy as hell. What’s not to love? 

My other favorite parents/parental figures would include GB, Moss, Jerome, Lydia, Izou, and Terumune Day 9: Least favorite Parent Fuckin WEED. The reason I put him over more obvious characters such as Kamakiri or Teru’s dad is because those guys are fucking villains so no surprise comes out of them being abusive shitty parents. Weed on the other hand is supposed to be one of the protagonists for fuck’s sake, yet his only kid he gives a damn about his Sirius, he straight-up lied and said that Kamakiri aka the invader who killed his own fellow soldier’s father was actually a brave soldier who died nobly just to make Akakama aka another villain happy, and everyone just blindly stands by and does nothing as he’s beating the shit out and banishing Orion for wanting to help Izou avenge his family that Masamune fucking slaughtered. This. fucker. literally. picked a goddamn serial killer over his own SON.  Yeah... doesn’t help that as much as I love Gin all he ever did was constantly enable Weed’s behavior. You can say that he didn’t have Riki to show him how to be a good parent but it’s not like there weren’t other fathers in the Ohu army like Ben or Moss who could have showed Gin the ropes. Also fuck Joe, couldn’t talk about shitty Ginga parents without bringing him up too Day 10: Favorite Human Daisuke, though tbh not like I had much competition for this one lmao. I know the fandom likes to ignore him because “hnnn human boring give us more doggos” or because he takes away the focus from Gin in the first eight episodes of the anime. I beg to differ, since I think he has decent characterization and development, along with an important role as Gin’s childhood friend and helper towards the dogs in GDW and the later manga series. 

Hidetoshi is too much of a hypocrite for me to like, going from John’s hunting partner to mercilessly wanting to shoot him and having no qualms about killing Daisuke’s childhood dog friend either. Gohei... he’s neither my favorite character NOR do I hate him AS much as some other people do, I just blame it on Gohei being a very culturally outdated character even though he has his moments. But Daisuke is by far the most consistent human character, and he’s a genuinely likable and helpful person Day 11: Least Favorite Character *DEEP BREATH* Fuck, you guys know I’m obviously going to say Sirius so let’s keep my explanation for him brief. He’s obnoxiously preachy, thoughtless, selfish, and has an ego and mesiah/superiority complex bigger than fucking Akakabuto himself. Literally all the reasons people hate Weed’s overly merciful nature but fucking WORSE. Let’s see, he puts all the fucking blame on the Ohu army and makes THEM the bad guys for rightfully wanting to axe off his boyfriend Monsoon, whom may I reiterate, is a fucking psychopath who tortures and eats helpless puppies, has repeatedly injured and emotionally abused Bob his whole fucking life, literally wanted the Ohu army to farm their own fellow dogs to be his food, and shows ZERO REMORSE for any of this shit and ONLY ever shows kindness towards Sirius and none of the fucking dogs he’s actually hurt. 

And once again... we are supposed to see Sirius as some fucking hero where all he did was screw everyone over and tell them that he’s right and they’re all wrong. Even back in GDWO he was just annoying and whiny half the time and preferred hanging around with the Kamakiri brothers over his own family. Little blueberry shitstain deserved to die and I have no sympathy for his self righteous ass. 

Other characters I can’t fucking stand also include Monsoon, Yukimura, Koyuki, Weed, Shion, Jyoushiro, and the Aka’ari. 

Day 12: Most heroic moment hhhhhh this was hard to pick from ngl, so I’m gonna talk about the top three that came to mind. First one would probably be GB tricking Hougen’s soldiers in GDW episode 19 by pretending to be one of them to the point where he found out where they were keeping Gin. For a character that started off as cowardly and insecure, this was a huge step in GB’s character development and a great way to show GB making good use of himself in battle in an unexpected way.

Second would be Reika tricking Hougen and throwing him into the river in GDW episode 24, for all the obvious reasons. It’s a rare empowering moment for a Ginga female character in the series who tries to put up a fight even though she doesn’t succeed. Reika already has a more interesting personality and useful role than most of the other boring females and this moment wasn’t an asspull at making her more empowering in ONE scene and then just instantly forgetting about it by having her constantly cry over shit afterwards COUGHKOYUKICOUGH so this was also a very heroic turning point for her character

Third that comes to mind is the iconic moment of Riki protecting a newborn Gin form Akakabuto in literally the first episode. I know everything Riki does could be considered heroic but it’d be wrong of me not to talk about this scene in particular. We have a dad putting his life on the line for his son he literally JUST MET I’m not sure what more you could ask for really

Day 13: Favorite Quote ”I’M WEED, THE SON OF GIN! FUCK YOU KAIBUTSU, IT ENDS HERE!” from episode 3 of the GDW English fandub, next. 

Nah jk. I do have a few favorite quotes from both the mangas and the animes. I’m not gonna write them out word for word since the translation constantly changes. Instead I’m just gonna write out the scenes where they were stated and explain the context so here goes:  - Kurojaki’s last words bragging about mission to his deceased masters before he commits suicide  - Ben and Cross’ conversation before Ben goes off to fight Sniper, as previously stated - Riki’s “that blood won’t be ours” speech to the Ohu army in episode 17 - Gohei tearfully refusing to give Riki an audience during his death, and also praising the dogs for accomplishing what the humans couldn’t - Kyoushiro telling Weed to let out his feelings and cry in the GDW manga - Tesshin delivering Gin’s speech at the hot springs in the GDW anime - Gin praising Maxim and Lydia for instead choosing to fight for Ohu in the Russian arc - Orion also telling Yamabiko it’s okay to cry - also every fucking quote in The First Wars. Because TFW is awesome.  Day 14: Favorite Character Design That’s a bit of a hard one but after some thinking I decided on Fuji, Lenny, Lucy, Bellatrix, and Kamakiri’s mate solely because they’re some of the few female characters I can name don’t have boring white coats and hyper-feminine features like most of the other female Ginga characters do (Even as much as I love Cross as a character it was obvious a saluki was chosen for her breed for her long girly hair. And Lydia despite also being my favorite female character in the entire Ginga franchise has such a BLAND design that makes her stick out like a sore thumb, you can barely tell she’s supposed to be a German Shepherd among the other normal-looking GSD in the Russian army), though it seems like the other default color when females aren’t white is brown/red like Chako and Reika lmao. 

I just like the down-to-earth designs for Fuji, Lenny, and Lucy for how they resemble their normal breeds, Bellatrix for being the only female tora-ge in the series even though Yoshi doesn’t do jack with her character (I only count her First Wars counterpart as canon), and Kamakiri’s mate for having such an unusual mutt design you can’t tell the breed of. 

I also enjoy Aram’s absolute nightmare fuel design, as well as Kaibutsu’s.  Day 15: Favorite Breed Design Once again, the Kogas lmao. Just because of how weird and funky they look. There’s just so many different ways to design them since they are a fictional breed; even in canon no two (non-background) Kogas look alike when you take other manga like Densetsu Akame into account. 

I also like the designs of the huskies- the Mutsu brothers, Kisaragi’s sons, all of them have such varied color and markings, some of them looking like normal huskies and others looking weird and unnatural, the diversity is fun to look at. 

Even for how weird the wolves look in the equally weird wolf arc, a few of them do have neat and creative designs that make them stand out.  Day 16: Favorite Death Scene Good god don’t make me choose... but if I have to, my top three are John’s, Benizakura’s, and Toube’s. John’s death makes everyone cry like a fucking baby for all the obvious reasons. He was a character we all knew and loved in GNG and seeing him go out with such a prideful death scene that shows how far he had come as a character really fuckin hurts. 

Benizakura we knew for an even shorter time but the audience really grew to love his benevolent and energetic personality so it’s also heartbreaking to see him sacrifice his life so soon. His parting was so epic that it really just broke the boundaries of realism so that his blood droplets could form the shape of a cherry blossom in the water to honor him 

Toube is one that I feel people don’t talk about much, but I still think his death scene was really powerful considering how prideful he was in his last moments much like John. I always found him an underrated character (more on that later) who played the “redemption equals death” trope in a really powerful way. Plus that image of him standing up frozen to death in the sunlight is really haunting. 

Other deceased characters that would be wrong for me NOT to mention would include Akatora, Riki, Kurojaki, Hyena no GDN doesn’t exist, and Aram.  Day 17: Least Favorite Death Scene Ben, no doubt. It especially doesn’t help that after being a mostly useless senile fool in the GDW manga he’d go out with such a boring, unceremonious death. Half the time I literally forget Ben even died of old age. Also it’s just really cheapened by the fact that most GNG veterans live to the ridiculous old age of over 20 years, so just goes to show that realism doesn’t make a story better. It just makes it inconsistent. 

Also GB, Hiro, Lydia, Jaguar, Musashi, and Tama... though these are more out of me being petty over my attachment to these characters. However I still thought their deaths were pretty pointless and hardly contributed story-wise or character-wise. Also Sirius and Monsoon’s because it’s really framed like it’s such an emotional heartbreaking scene of two friends/lovers dying while facing each other even though you literally couldn’t PAY me to be remotely sad that these clowns are dead.  Day 18: Favorite Arc For GNG, the Iga/Koga arc I’ve already discussed for reasons above as well as the Shikoku/fighting dog arc. I really love the setting and backgrounds of Shikoku, and it’s a great introduction to great characters like Musashi and Benizakura, with some room for character development and emotional moments as well. 

For GDW, the Russian arc as long as I forget that fuckin Weed and Koyuki exist. We’ve got intimidating villains in the form of Viktor and the invaders, some engaging redemption arcs with Lydia, Maxim, and Aram, a lot of heartfelt moments such as the death scenes of Hakuro and Moss or  Daisuke calling out to Gin in the canyon, and other characters such as Gin and Kyoushiro having their strong points in battle. Too bad a lot of it is roped with Weed and Koyuki’s gross Oedipus complex romance and other characters literally having to force Weed to stop flirting and being a shitty irresponsible leader. 

Day 19: Underrated Character The aforementioned Toube. Yeah, kind of surprised I don’t see a lot of people talking about him when it comes to the famous character death scenes nor does he get a ton of fanart and stuff. I guess in hindsight his role and death are a bit similar to Terry but, idk... I feel Toube had something more going for him. He actually got a proper introduction, backstory with Musashi, catalyst to start changing sides, and contributing role in actively saving Gin in the GDW anime. His arc was really well done and I always thought it deserved more recognition. 

Also in terms of more minor characters that somehow don’t reach “ensemble darkhorse” status in the Ginga fandom... Pepe! How can you not love this cute little monkey ffs? He’s such a simple character who has an adorable friendship with the Ohu soldiers and sympathetic side when it comes to him losing his parents and being a victim of Yukimura’s sadism. Also he’s not without his character development when he tries to fight off Shogun. Pepe is a good monke and I luv him 

Day 20: Favorite Character Development *thinks hard* Hyena. Not much I can say about Hyena’s character that others haven’t before. It was easy to just make him a sniveling weasel of a villain sidekick but once again he was a surprising subversion of that trope. His development was gradual and he didn’t earn the Ohu army’s trust right away, but he did prove himself on multiple occasions and had an honorable death scene. Once again, he stayed dead as far as I’m concerned.  Also GB, because why not? Another simple character who starts off as a wimp and then grows into Weed’s foster father, an Ohu soldier, clever battle strategist, and hill-area-ass slapstick comic relief in the manga. Such an enjoyable dork who changes for the better over the course of the series. 

Other choices include Lydia, Maxim, Aram, and Masashige Day 21: Something you would change in the series Something aside from obvious shit like the sexism, outdated cultural morals, glorification of abuse, and characters constantly being derailed left and right? ...maybe not write so many goddamn arcs and characters I guess? 

The GNG wolf arc didn’t need to exist. Yoshi literally didn’t even wanna write it but executive meddling demanded more Ginga from him. GDW is the longest series by far in which it spans exactly 60 volumes, but I frankly find the hybrid bear arc to be one of the most boring and repetitive arc. All I remember is that it introduces Joe but was there really no other previous volume where you could have introduced Weed’s second long-lost brother? 

GDWO is... a LOT to take in. I know that unlike the previous series it’s balancing out like five different story arcs for each of Weed’s kids as well as the Ohu army so it can be hard to keep track of everyone but come on. Do characters like Gennai and Tenka need to exist? I hardly remember Rigel’s arc except for the fact that he was just there when Terumune got killed. Since Yoshi insists on making Bella as useless as possible why not combine hers with Rigel or something? And Andy literally has no reason to exist aside from being a baby John replacement. 

Christ even as much as I despise TLW and GDN, I STILL felt GDN had the potential to be an interesting series if it was JUST a short story about Hyenoah helping Orion deal with his trauma from the events of TLW instead of bringing more pointless big bad villains who wanna fuck up Ohu for the billionth time, lame character death retcon not withstanding

Day 22: Favorite Introduction Scene Frickin HIRO, what more can I say lmao. You can name literally no other anime where a character is introduced literally by ripping a bad guy’s balls off. The dark humor from Hiro’s sheer non-chalantness just gives you one hell of a first impression Day 23: Favorite Relationship This is also gonna be a long list, shit. I don’t think I really need explanations for these since they’re all for the same reason in which the characters have a strong, healthy bond regardless of whether it’s between friends, parent/child, student/teacher, etc... So here goes:

- Gin and John  - Gin and Smith - Gin and Riki - Gin and Daisuke - Moss and Tesshin (and any puppies he’s doted over really)  - Weed and Smith - Kyoushiro and Teru  - Pepe and the Ohu army - Orion and Izou - Orion and Yamabiko - Rigel and Andy (despite my previous complaint about Andy being a very bland character his friendship with Rigel is cute in the way it’s supposed to parallel John and Gin)  Day 24: Favorite series/adaptation Kinda funny how to this day I still don’t really have a favorite series. When I was younger it was definitely GDW, but nowadays I feel like even though Ginga as a whole is objectively problematic, each series seems to have its own strengths and weaknesses so I honestly can’t pick. 

I can say that GNG has the fewest problems in terms of story and a lack of character derailment, but GDW also has its fair share of strong scenes and characters and I like a lot of them more than the GNG characters. Fuck, even GDWO even though it’s more of a clusterfuck has a large number of interesting characters to keep me engaged, so I really can’t just pick one. 

But in terms of consistently good writing, characters, and plotlines? The First Wars lmao 

Day 25: Character you relate to the most Oof, now I actually have to EXPLAIN why I said I related to Kyoushiro before ok. As a kid, I was in my massive angst/hormonal phase during the time I started watching Ginga so I just liked that Kyoushiro was an angry lil shit like me lolz

Real talk, as an adult I can relate to Kyoushiro when it comes to dealing with shitty people in my life. Obviously I don’t go throwing my online/irl enemies off cliffs and shit but I do strongly believe bad things should happen to bad people and I can fucking tell when abusers are genuinely remorseful or if they just wanna quick way to get out of trouble. But I also feel like I’ve learned to set boundaries, much like Kyoushiro taking time to decide if Teru’s abusive dad should be killed or not, or when he chose not to kill Buruge when he asked him to put him out of his humiliation. Also I still have anger issues and a pretty short temper, something I’ve still retained when it comes to how much of myself I see in Kyoushiro. 

I know I got kinda creepy by talking a lot about myself there but that’s just my genuine explanation on why I relate to this angsty scarred dog so much lmao. At least before he completely abandoned his own morals and decided “teehee nevermind abused children should definitely forgive their abusive parents” 

Day 26: Favorite Couple (canon or not) Ben x Cross duh. It was pretty clear they were an established couple when they were first introduced but they work together so well. Their chemistry, their their dialogue, and how much they believe in and support each other, ugh... they’re just such a strong pair

My other favorite ships include Jerome x Lydia, Hiro x Reika, and Orion x Yamabiko.  Day 27: Favorite Fight Probably would be a bit cliche if I just put the bigass kaiju battles like Akakabuto and Kaibutsu, so I’m gonna say the fight between various GDW characters and three of Hougen’s generals in the anime- Kyoushiro vs Buruge, Tesshin vs Kite, and Ken/Kagetora vs Bat. 

I liked the addition in the GDW anime of Hougen’s generals having their own special abilities that the Ohu army had to overcome in unique ways. Ken and Kagetora synchronizing their attacks to evade Bat’s Mind’s Eye, Tesshin being in his element and using his ninja skills to trap Kite when he couldn’t dent his prosthetic legs, and Kyoushiro giving himself the confidence to beat Buruge enough so that he can’t use his weird resurrection attack on him. 

Even though most of the changes the GDW anime did from the manga were shit and counterintuitive, this was one of the few adaptational changes that worked. It was a really nonconventional combat between characters that was solved in unique ways and gave various characters time to shine. 

Day 28: Favorite Technique/Fighting style The Zetsu Tenrou Battouga, no doubt. It’s definitely the most commonly used attack in the series and for that reason it’s just that memorable. Even the other wack Battougas in the wolf arc are somewhat interesting in concept and their different variations. Also you can’t go wrong with Kyoushiro’s grave-digging attack either

Day 29: Overrated character This was originally “favorite arc” but that was already a prompt for Day 18 so I made my own lmao. But yeah, for this one I’m gonna say Yukimura. I probably just made most of Gingaboard hate me but I’m sorry I just don’t get the appeal of this guy to the point where people literally compare him to Riki whom he’s nothing like. Yeah a lot of people say he had the potential to be a good foil to Weed’s pacifist personality but sorry sweetie the execution of that potential don’t reconcile 

He’s basically just Kyoushiro if Kyoushiro enjoyed attacking innocent parents who didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah I get that being attacked by monkeys at a young age was a traumatic experience for him but that doesn’t excuse him being an absolute fucking monster with a monkey hateboner, literally to the point where he tried to force literal CHILDREN to kill an innocent baby monkey, starting with FEEDING THE MEAT OF PEPE’S DEAD PARENTS TO THOSE PUPPIES. 

Oh and what makes this worse? Yukimura shows little to no remorse over this. Literally when Jerome is chewing out Yukimura for how fucked in the head he is he just responds with “We were just killing monkeys, so what?” almost word for word. 

And his redemption in learning not all monkeys are bad was lame and half-assed, also not sorry. If you’re going to redeem a character give us a REASON we’d WANT to see the character redeemed. Going from an infanticidal monkey-hating psycopath to siding with the monkeys isn’t character development, it’s just lazy writing.  Day 30: Favorite Thing About The Series The sheer corniness of it all. It’s just dogs killing shit. That’s literally my aesthetic when it comes to animal xenofiction. Yet you also got literal ninja dogs that carry weapons and dogs that repeatedly front-flip to decapitate bears. It’s fucking great. 

There are a lot of factors on why I fixate over stupid poorly drawn dogs fighting so much. A lot of it probably comes from my nostalgia obsessing over this series as a child and another part comes from the charm of the simple premise that offers a lot of room for interesting storytelling. 

I know objectively GInga as a whole is... not that good and super problematic, but there’s just some stupid charm about the whole thing that draws people in at almost any age. Ginga is flawed as HELL but there’s also just so many iconic characters, story arcs, and the like so sometimes it’s just a series where you gotta turn off your brain to enjoy it. 

Ginga is simultaneously the best and the worst thing of all time and it’s my comfort series, thank you for coming to my TED talk 

[1337wtfomgbbq]

I gotta rant for a second here. I hate this app. Okay maybe not this whole app, more the people on here. Specifically the people in the supernatural community. Yes talking to you. I can’t believe I’m even back into this with you guys.

I know people can pick and chose which characters they like and which they dislike. I know, for some trauma and whathaveyou also plays into what they feel towards a character.

But I am just so mad. I’m on a little bit of a rewatch, as you are, of season 1 to 3 (maybe some episodes of 4 and 5) because those are the only good seasons, and I just wanna look at some posts of my favorite character.

But my favorite character happens to be John.

TLDR: John's character is complex as fuck and people like to oversimplify and villify him, for no reason other than „BuT My DaAAadYY WaS ShiTTy!!!!“

And I get it. People on here disregard season 1-3, even the writers disregarded what JDM wanted John to be: “I don’t think he’s as screwed-up as other people do,” Morgan told EW. “I think he is a guy who’s got a tremendous amount of love for his family. He was willing to die for his sons, willing to put himself in a place to where he could lose his life for revenge on what killed his wife. So as much has been said about John or that I’ve heard about John, I think what is missing is that he shows love in different ways. Maybe he wasn’t a big hugger and he didn’t say the right things when he should’ve — and there’s a bigger picture about getting your kids into hunting ghosts that I should acknowledge — but I think at his core he really loved his family and was willing to sacrifice everything. So I never looked or played John in a way that there was any malice toward his sons.”

People project what went wrong in their lifes and with their fathers on this app SO HARD. To be fair they do that everywhere. But it's so infuriating when it's done to a character you love so much.

And as much as I wanna be understanding I am just so pissed.

Hear me out: Back when I first started watching supernatural (I was fucking 12 back then, can you believe that) and my friend was all „OMG Sam is such a treat. He's mine!“ I thought, okay I'm gonna take Dean then.

The coin finally dropped on me in 'Shadow' and I realized „Heck, screw Dean, I'm taking John!“ (Not that I told my friend that, LOL. I hadn't realized just then that I prefer older guys)

And attraction is one thing, but the character spoke to me on such a deep level too. I mean, you got a dude whos wife died in a way that he cannot explain in a rational way, only to have his eyes opened to the supernatural by Missouri. And it turns out whatever killed his wife also did some fucked up shit to his kid and is after, not only his youngest but, all of them.

So he's forced to take his kids on the run. But, he's also an ex-marine, he's a soldier and he can't leave other people to die at the hands and claws and teeth of monsters and ghosts and strigas and whathaveyou. Which leaves him struggling to ballance protecting and caring for his kids and saving people and hunting things, AND finding the thing that killed his wife.

The way John's situation was set up (ignoring for a second what we learn in later seasons) and the way Sam was brought up by him created a relationship that was bound to escalate; it was only a matter of time.

Season 1 to 3 we got a John that was distant and rough, but a John that recognized he fucked up along the way and who saught to rectify where he went wrong with his boys.

Season 1 episode 20: „You gotta understand something. After your mother passed all I saw was evil, everywhere. And all I cared about was keeping you boys alive. I wanted you...prepared. Ready. Except somewhere along the line I ... uh ... I stopped being your father and I ... I became your, your drill sergeant. So when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all I could think about, my only thought was, that you were gonna be alone. Vulnerable. Sammy, it just... it never occurred to me what you wanted. I just couldn't accept the fact that you and me -- We're just different.“

And guess what, Sam admits seconds later: „We're not different. Not anymore. With what happened to Mom and Jess... Well we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone.“

Season 1 episode 21: „I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.“

John literally on the show in person, Jeffrey Dean Morgan Season 1, admits that he didn't want ANYTHING OF WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHAT HE HAD TO DO TO HAPPEN!!!!

Sure, Sam suggested to Dean that John's just „working overtime on Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later“ in the very first episode but we never see John drink alcohol, for all he's on screen in season one, ONCE. (1x1) Suggesting that John did have a drinking problem but somewhere between Sam going off to college and the pilot he kicked that habit.

Sure, Sam is clearly vindictive BUT, when faced with a kid with a clearly abusive father, he also says that, „Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. A little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we coulda had Max' childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him.“ (1x14)

We see him cry on multible occasions in season one and two, we see him hug both Sam and Dean and tell BOTH OF THEM that he is proud of them. Heck, he couldn't shut up about how proud he was of them. Like Jerry told Sam in 1x4 „Well, he was real proud of you. I could tell, He talked about you all the time.“ He kept Sam's soccer trophie, and Dean's first sawed off. He fucking died to safe Dean.

Yeah, he told Dean that he'd have to kill Sam if he goes evil but...

Let's take into consideration season 4 and 5, and John wasn't all too wrong for telling Dean this. Even if we ignore all that, as John probably didn't have the full picture, John didn't knew the extend of Sam's powers. As is always said, „With great power comes great responsibility“. We have seen in comics, shows, movies, all over pop culture and history, how easily great power can corrupt, don't matter how nice and righteous that person is.

Let's take into consideration what was added in season 4 and 5: Like John having another family, the fact that cupid had to get him and Mary together, Mary making a deal with Azazel, the few demons (not even all of them) Lucifer showed Sam who had been put into his life by yellow eyes; even that just adds more credence to the already established character.

Of course John was bound to have flings after Mary, you can't expect a widower to just be celibate forever. And it wasn't even that he bailed on her, he literally didn't know there was a child until twelve years later.

And considering John's erratic 'work schedule' and how little we know of Kate, maybe it was her that wanted John not to have much contact to her son. The whole situation with Adam isn't exactly clear, and told through the eyes of a ghoul. Plus, we all saw where John's decision to leave Adam in the dark about the supernatural had him end up (namely killed by a ghoul).

The fact that cupid had to get John and Mary together only gives more ammunition for my argument that John was only working with what was given to him. Pretty much everyone from hell to heaven was meddling in his life.

Getting ahead with headcanons here but, for all we know John and Mary would've never ended up together; for all we know Mary was a lesbian and John was bi; for all we know they could've still worked out without cupid's help. Who knows? We don't because heaven took that decision away from both John and Mary.

The fact that Mary made a deal with Azazel to safe John's life in exchange for Azazel to be able to enter her home in ten years time, again, caused something to happen down the line that affected John and the boys that John had no control over.

And I gotta thank Lucifer for his part, because it gives EVEN MORE credence as to why John couldn't give Dean and Sam a normal life. He reveals SOME of the people Azazel planted into Sam's life that were actually possessed by demons.

„LUCIFER: Look closely. None of these little devils look familiar to you? SAM: That's Mr. Bensman... One of my grade-school teachers. LUCIFER: And that's your friend Doug from that time in East Lansing. And Rachel... your prom date. Sam Winchester, this is your life. Azazel's gang – watching you since you were a rugrat, jerking you around like a dog on a leash. I know how you feel about them. Me too. So, what do you say you and I blow off a little steam?“ (5x22)

A few episodes earlier we found out that his friend Brady, the one that introduced him to Jess, was actually possessed by a demon, and the one that fucking killed her.

„BRADY (chuckles): Brady hasn't been Brady in years. Not since, oh... middle of our sophomore year?

SAM: What?

BRADY: That's right. You had a devil on your shoulder even back then. All right, now, let it all sink in.

SAM: You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch! (Sam approaches Brady, Dean holds him back) You introduced me to Jess!

BRADY: Ding, ding! I think he's got it!“ (5x20)

All of this paints a clear picture for me, of a man that got played by fate and heaven and hell and was only trying to play the cards all of them dealt him to the best of his ability. Did he fuck up along the way, yes, did he show remorse for that and did he wish he could've given Sam and Dean a better life, Yes.

I completely understand people liking one character and disliking another, even projecting onto characters I get. And I get that people's life experiances lead them to different conclusions.

But it pisses me off so much that I can't go into the 'John Winchester' tag without having to read some shit as fuck take on John.

I have to read people saying that he never told Dean he was proud of him and that the only time he did so he was possessed by Azazel. Which isn't even true, but a motherfucking lie.

Season 2, episode 1; when John WASN'T POSSESSED ANYMORE he said to Dean: „You know, when you were a kid... I'd come home from a hunt. And after what I'd seen... I'd be wrecked. And you... You'd come up to me... you'd put your hand on my shoulder, and you'd look me in the eye. You'd say, "It's okay, Dad." Dean. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to say that to me. I should've been saying that to you. You know, I put... I put too much on your shoulders. I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sam, and you took care of me. You did that. And you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know... that I am so proud of you.“

I have to read people forget or disregard that John was literally a righteous man. Alastair tried to break John and John didn't break for a century and then clawed his way OUT OF HELL TO SAFE HIS SONS IN 2x22. John must've had righteousness in heaven (which would come through faith in Jesus) and righteousness on earth (which would come through living through the commandments) as long as that's what the writers meant with 'righteous man'.

I have to read stuff John would apparently do only because we learn in 'Dark side of the Moon' that John and Mary's marriage wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and that John even moved out for a period. Even though we don't know who caused that fight and what it was about, literally it could've been Mary's fault and John only left to cool off. And even if not, marriages aren't just sunshines and rainbows. Fights happen, bad stuff is worked out. That would be true even without the cupid spell.

I have to read someone projecting their experiance with their father onto John. I have to read about someone saying John would've been such a dick because he was in the military and fought in the vietnam war, and we all know that's what all sodiers back then were (dicks). I have to read about how homophobic and transphobic John obviously was. I have to read about how much John would've been racist to Sam and Dean if they'd been mixed.

John was born in 1954, he has to be homophobic and transphobic and racist and bigoted and everthing you can think of. It can't be possible for someone to be born during that time and not be, right. (I hope you recognize the sarcasm)

Everybody is screaming 'child abuse' as loud as they can without taking into account the unique world those characters inhabit and the situation fate, heaven and hell put John and the boys into.

Dean could dig himself out of his grave because John used to bury them alive and had them dig their way out of a coffin as training!!!? Are yall good?? Literally what did your parents do to you, what went wront in your life that you think shit like this?!

And I get it, you can headcanon all you want. I myself headcanon John as bi and that Azazel knew and used this fact.

The writers did John so dirty in later seasons, and I'm not even alone in this, JDM agrees with me.

„But it always bugged me that the John that I played is different than the John that has been portrayed since I haven't been around. I really wanted the opportunity to be able to come back and make amends in a way and try to fix the sullied name of this character. But more than that, it's three friends, life lived. It feels like we've been friends for a lifetime now, getting to reunite in a place that we love and that we met and do what we do and I think that is super cool. So not only does John win in getting to come back and see his boys and Mary again and hopefully make some amends, it's just as cool for me, the actor, to be able to come back and see everybody.“

I'm sorry, but if Snape fans are allowed to be pissed about people suggesting Snape would've been creeping on Harry if he had been female and looked like Lilly, I can be pissed about everybody and their grandma in this fucking fandom painting John in the worst light possible.

JDM created such a great character with depth and who was interesting, even in season 4 and 5 they were still respectfull to his character, but the later seasons were just *throws up *

And I mean, I get it, I disregard canon too. Like, I disregard everything after season 5, that's Sam hallucinating in hell to me. Sometimes even after season 3, cause I don't feel like dealing with the angels, and cas and destiel and all that.

I get it, I get it, I get it.

But I too have the right to be pissed off about the way people like to shit on my fav.

Long story short, I love John and how complex and grey his character is and I HATE IT how simple and 'black and white' people wanna make him out to be. I wanna punch a bitch. I wanna throw hands right now.

[laufire]

Supernatural s3

It’s so unfair that the season that has Ruby AND Bela is so short :(((. I was done with it waaaay too quickly, and now I’m speed running through s4 xD (which, like the first time around, is Strong Mixed Feelings territory).

-My girl Ruby!!!! I was so happy to have her back, I kept grinning like a loon every time she was on screen. It’s quite interesting watching the 1.0 and 2.0 versions so close to each other, instead of as they air. I have... Thoughts, on whether Ruby as a double agent was something planned or that they decided as they went, but that’s for the s4 post. s3!Ruby really doesn’t come across as one (“I don’t believe in the devil” oh I wish sometimes xD, I love my nonbelievers), imo, but the beauty of such a device is that you can rationalize anything she does as devious if you want to xD

And it goes without saying that I love her interactions with Sam. THIS SHIP ISTG. I love how immediately ~attuned to her he is lol, his present and instinctive concern for her even if he tries to mask his interest as “practical”. And all the repeated times Sam’s conflicted between her and Dean -like when he deviates Dean shot (wasting one of the Colt’s bullets lmfao) or during the argument about the virgin sacrifice xD. And the “that’s my boy”/ “little fallen angel on your shoulder” quotes!!! Ruby 1.0 deserved to be railed by Sam too, smh.

My favourite episode of hers is “Jus in Bello” (which would be my fave of the season just by virtue of having both Bela and Ruby in the same episode lol. Not interacting, of course, the world as we know it wouldn’t have survived). I just love that she gets that final moment of I TOLD YOU SO to the brothers xD. I really like how she expands on the demonic lore of the show- I love, LOVE the detail about how all demons used to be humans, how they’re souls corrupted in hell. And that in her past life she was a witch (there was this really good fic in Spanish fandom about it... I need to hunt it down).

BTW, though I think her interactions with Dean in that episode are interesting, it really hammers home how much I hate him sometimes xD. Can you stop saying misogynistic slurs for TWO GODDAMN MINUTES, DEAN (and as we know from as early as this season, only HE can have demon/monster friends!! What a fucking hypocrite xD). I freaking love the moment in the finale when she viciously yells him about how she wishes she could see him in hell lmao (and how it foreshadows that when she shows sympathy later, it’s actually Lilith in disguise lmfao). I hate Dean gets the last word in their dynamic, tbqh. Until the s15 cameo, at least xDD

One thing that’s been bothering me xD: the French fries. Demons are vulnerable to salt, like other spirits, right? (and hey, look what a nice piece of foreshadowing that was). How does that translate to food lol. Because Ruby adores French fries, and they obviously contain salt. It’s like spicy food for humans? Or like pineapple? Inquiring minds etc. xD

-I still cannot believe Bela Talbot was only on the show for six episodes lmao. Her presence still lingers in the watchers’ heads so much?? Which is understandable because she’s Lead Girl Material if there was ever any lol. The care with which they styled her even?? You don’t do that for just any character lmao (I mean, just look at most of SPN’s female characters for comparison xD).

Her ship with Dean could’ve really been something, too -even if I hate Dean in it, I can’t deny it packs a punch, narrative-wise. I mean, the Batcat undertones alone!! The fake married undercover shenanigans!! And I think it’s really interesting that she’s such a blind spot for him; Dean’s unusually intuitive about people, but with Bela he takes everything at face value and she can fool him like no other (while, OTOH, is Sam who questions her facade and wants to see more). If he hadn’t been such an idiot (and such an asshole) he could’ve had a really powerful ship. Sucks to be him lol.

Anyway. Man, I love her. So much. I love how Gordon’s threats to kill her don’t work on her, and I love that the show basically said “Bela killing her abusive parents is good, actually” (I’m so tired of forgiveness narratives, you guys. This entire show is founded on revenge, so let me get my revenge fantasies in peace!!) xDD. And I love, LOVE that she withheld that truth from Dean, that she decided he wasn’t worth it. OTOH, you know, fuck the fans that got her written out, definitely; but on the other, I do love how her story ended (and that it was a clear "fuck you" to shitty fans). Doesn’t stop me for wanting to read and re-read (and maybe write!) even more “Bela escapes hell” fix-its, but still.

Also, very important question: what happened to her cat?? It’s the cat alright?? I’m going to headcanon that she left them with that cougar friend of hers lol.

-So. THE DEAL. Okay. Oof. I love this storyline, a lot. A loooot. I love the conflict it creates between the brothers (as long as there’s still conflict and Sam hasn’t yet started taking everything lying down I can enjoy that part of their narrative lol). I love Dean’s initial forced giddiness about “making the most out of his last year” and I love the moment Dean decides he does want to try to live because it makes the last few episodes all the most desperate and cruel (and hey, I’ve heard he only went to hell because the season was cut short due to a writers’ strike... if that’s true that’s so funny lmao).

My absolutely favourite part however? That you can FEEL Dean’s unvoiced resentment towards Sam. For Dean having to die for him, even if Sam never asked him to. He lashes out to Sam repeatedly through the season, but it really came to ahead in the dreamspace episode, where Dean confronts another version of himself that talks about how Sam was “dotted on” (the revisionism asldfkaf). This show is absolutely ruthless when it comes to showing you its characters’ ugly, unfair reactions to things and it’s my favourite thing evah.

Speaking of the dreamspace episode, OMFG. I loved both brothers there. Dean’s hallucination, seeing himself as a demon? And how he let out his anger about John?? Beautiful, truly (regarding John, I also loved their different reactions when it looked like his spirit had contacted them: Dean jumping on it and Sam detached skepticism). But my favourite part has to be when Sam uses the villain’s abusive father against him. Like. Damn. That was cold-blooded o.0

The second-to-last episode, when Sam tracked down that Frankenstein doctor to try and make Dean immortal was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING OMG. I loved that. I love that Sam wanted to use it for both them. It was some scary shit. I also love the scene where the crossroads demon questions whether Sam really wants to break the deal, I’m gathering it’s going to be nice foreshadowing later on in the show lol.

Anyway. I also found Dean’s death scene more impactful than Sam’s. Partially because of the horror of it, but mostly because I think at this type of scenes, Padalecki is better. Sam’s grief felt more real, Dean’s got me out of the scene (it’s the voice, I think. Sometimes Ackles’ voice takes me out of scenes, it sounds... forced).

I also really enjoyed how the time loop episode wrapped around this subplot. It managed to be both heartbreaking and mind-numbly hilarious lmfao. Like?? All the deaths?? Were so pathetic?? I tip my hat to Ackles because I don’t think most actors could carry plots like this half as well lmfao.

Sidenote, it’s always a trip to see The Trickster God knowing that fucker is Gabriel. Archangel “hey Mary do you accept God knocking you up” Gabriel. Which I guess isn’t exactly a thing in this show?? Since according to the wikia SPN Jesus was “just a man” (and let me tell you, I’m tickled pink by the fact that out of ALL mythological figures, specifically all CHRISTIAN mythological figures, the show decided to go “nah” on Jesus Christ. I mean, I guess he’d take away from Dean’s, Sam’s and Castiel’s resurrection narratives, but still. It’s so funny!!).

-Gordon Walker remains a superbly acted and fascinating character with extra racist nonsense alsdkfjasdf. But I can’t deny I loved seeing him as a vampire. He was terrifying. And I’m definitely shipping him with Kubrick, ouch xD

-The Ghostfacers episode is... something. As in, incredibly exploitative and homophobic and with an egregious case of BYG (and the first where I’d say it’s incontestable to claim the trope was used. s1 and s2 are muddy territory given the circumstances, IMO, but this one is 300% BYG), but so successfully manipulative my heart hurt for Corbett and Corbett x Ed still. Fuck them for that ngl. I do still enjoy how anti-Winchesters they all are though xD

-3x01 introduces the one nice marriage of hunters so far, between a black couple. The man dies in a gross, horrifying way within the episode ofc (because he was Mean to the the brothers duh). She makes it out alive, and since she doesn’t reappear in the show she gets to live. So for now black women have a sliiiiiightly better track record in SPN than track guys there: they get to appear in a few more episodes and be more fleshed out (Victor, Gordon), but as long as they’re only in one episode they get to live!! (Cassie, Tamara).

-Rufus and Bobby are exes, right? Right?? Probably still married in some state? You know that post about how when gay marriage was legalized across the USA there were a lot of issues because some couples had split and never bothered to divorce, since it was only legal in one place? That post was made for them. Pity Rufus is a black man, and as such has a limited number of allowed appearances before he’s killed off ¬¬

-I would’ve enjoyed Dean’s moments with Lisa and Ben more (it’s just so RIGHT that in this moment he’d want Ben to be his) if my knowledge of future spoilers didn’t perpetually have me in a state of “pls keep this guy away from kids” lol.

-They had Harmony’s actress (BTVS) and they made her a vampire!! The show’s hard on for the Buffyverse is a bit of a hit and miss but I can’t say I don’t relate xDD.

-I know Jensen Ackles can sing (in fact thanks to youtube I know a few of the actors can... is there a musical episode. Does this show have its own OMWF. I need to know). So why. WHY. Does he sound like that during “Dead or Alive”??? I actually like the scene but he sounds so off-key lmao.

-BTW, I found out that apparently Katie Cassidy and Lauren Cohan originally auditioned for each other’s roles añslkdfjasf. I can’t picture it. Ruby 1.0 is Ruby 1.0 and Bela is Bela xD. Although I’ve seen each playing roles that could meld with the other, just. Nope. Good choice on the casting there lol.

[crossdressingdeath]

(1/3) It always amuses me how stans try to justify JC actions by his abusive upbringing while there were 3 children in that family and both others turned very kind and/or very moral and not at all like JC (and frankly, he didn't even have the hardest position in the dysfunctional dynamic). Or LXC and LWJ whose upbringing was even more screwed up with a LQ who was certainly playing favorites and wanting perfection, and yet this never draw a wedge between them or created any jealousy.

(2/3)LXC loves for LWJ to excel! Same with "but JC had it so hard rebuilding Lotus Pier, WWX was goofing off with the Wens"...JC was paying people to do that for him, yes, while WWX was trying to start from scratch a settlement over a mountain of corpses with a bunch of weak or old people and not to die of hunger comes winter. While separated from all his friends and hated as a monster by the cultivation world. "But JC was so lonely during the 13/16y, so that justifies him lashing out" And WWX

(3/3) was dead, killed by his brother and thinking that there was not a person left on his side in the end, and yet, that didn't make him act like a dick? Or athg else really, because everything that JC went through in the past, WWX did also, but in a worse way because he lost his parents young, lived in the streets, didn't have JC societal privilege or money and has to harness an unstable necromancy practice on top of that. And yet no one uses it as arguments to explain his actions, only for JC 

Honestly? While none of the Jiang kids were in a good position, out of the three of them... JC did have it the easiest. It was still awful for him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting his childhood didn’t suck, but given it was made very clear to JYL that her only purpose was to be married off to JZX so her mother could tie her bloodline to her best friend’s and WWX was treated like a servant at best... Yeah. If I had to pick, I’d choose having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive over having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive and being treated like a bargaining chip/treated like a servant and/or bastard and being whipped for actions that would get the rest of the clan a lecture at worst. Again, I’m not saying JC didn’t have it bad, but his siblings having it worse is... interesting, given neither of them decided to be dicks to Literally Everyone over it.

I do have to say, even though this is about JC, there’s nothing suggesting LQR was playing favourites with LXC and LWJ. He was strict, yes, probably stricter than he should’ve been, and LXC probably did get more one-on-one interaction with him, but given LXC was going to be sect leader/became sect leader at a young age that makes sense. This is not super important to the point of this post, but I do find it odd how often people make LQR out to be this horrible person who’s always awful to his nephews because he’s Strict when we... don’t actually know anything about how he raised them. I don’t like him all that much, and he probably didn’t do a fantastic job of raising them, but the man did try, and he clearly wants his nephews to be safe and happy (even though he has inaccurate views of what that entails...), and given how the parents/parental figures of the cast generally act he deserves some credit for that. Also the Twin Jades ended up considerably better-adjusted than most of their age group, which... isn’t saying much all things considered but it does say something. If nothing else neither of them seem to feel actively unsafe around him, so he’s definitely not the worst parental figure in this novel.

...I had a surprising number of thoughts on LQR there. Whoops, sorry about the tangent. Maybe I’ll make a post about him at some point. Anyway, yeah, LXC and LWJ clearly adore each other! LXC would be delighted if LWJ surpassed him at something! Same with Nie bros; they argue a lot, but there’s no denying that they love each other. That’s what insults and threats out of love look like; NMJ threatens NHS all the time, but NHS clearly isn’t all that bothered by it until JGY starts fucking with NMJ’s mind and the threats become more serious, which really isn’t NMJ’s fault. It’s because in the other sibling relationships both parties are invested in staying close. They love each other and want to be close for the rest of their lives! Meanwhile JC is obsessed with WWX outperforming him at Literally Everything, and WWX genuinely believes that JC is allowed to treat him the way he does and it’s fine and healthy.

And yeah, JC wasn’t exactly rebuilding Lotus Pier all by his lonesome with his own two hands. In fact, going by what we see all the rebuilding was done well before WWX left! And I don’t doubt for a second that WWX was involved in that process; I have very mixed feelings about the scene in CQL where he blows off his duties to go and get drunk, because on the one hand it does do a good job of showing just how bad his mental state is getting (and how JC refuses to acknowledge it despite WWX obviously being Not Okay), but on the other hand... I just can’t see WWX not throwing himself into helping JC with everything he’s got even while his mental state is coming crashing down around him. I mean, this is the guy who created an incredibly powerful weapon that even he couldn’t fully control, not knowing what using it would do to him, to help his brother win a war. I’m pretty much certain that WWX ran himself into the ground helping JC rebuild and run the sect... then when he found himself in charge of a small group of desperate people, scrambling to keep them fed and clothed and healthy, JC just abandoned him to deal with it on his own.

And the whole “Oh, but JC was so lonely, don’t you feel bad for him?” shtick. I hate it so much. If he didn’t want to be lonely, he should’ve considered that before alienating everyone in his age group and leading an army to murder his brother, the only person left who was willing to put up with him! It’s... really hard to feel bad for someone who’s brought most of their suffering on themselves through a series of generally shitty and frequently downright cruel actions with easily foreseeable consequences. If he got sick of being alone, he should’ve apologized to his peers for being a dick to... literally all of them and tried to make amends and strike up some sort of relationship. Or, if that didn’t work, go out! Meet new people! Try not to be as awful to them! Also, he’s a sect leader. If he couldn’t even maintain a positive relationship with other sect leaders, people who, let me remind you, he has to work with on a regular basis and several of whom are actually nice and friendly people, that is on him. If you are awful to people you will end up alone. And then JC decided to respond to learning that the people he was a dick to every time he saw them (and, in LWJ and NHS’s cases, caused the death of someone they cared about) wanted nothing to do with him... by whining about how lonely he was as if that wasn’t largely his fault. Like, he lost his family and that’s awful, but he could have had friends to help him through his grief, and it’s his own damn fault that he doesn’t.

WWX’s life was miserable. He had plenty of friends, yeah, but he spent years on the streets after his parents died brutal deaths; was raised in a family where he was treated like a servant and a scapegoat; lost everything in an event he was blamed for despite having nothing to do with the attack; had to sacrifice his incredibly powerful golden core (thereby losing his primary means of defending himself while on the run and drastically shortening his lifespan) to keep his brother from letting himself die; was thrown into a corpse pit for three months where he had to create an entirely new and experimental (and as such incredibly dangerous) form of cultivation and probably resort to cannibalism just to survive; had to fight a war almost immediately after escaping; spent a... good portion of time (not sure how long exactly because the MDZS timeline is more a suggestion than an actual coherent timeline) being treated alternately as a tame pet or a rabid animal and having to pretend everything was just fine while everyone tried to either control him or remove him and his brother very obviously got increasingly resentful of his skill and power; had to abandon his home, his family, and everything he had left of his old life to save a bunch of innocent people while everyone, including his brother, acted like he’d gone mad for not wanting to let them die horribly; had to go back to the corpse pit he spent three months in because it was the only place where they might be safe; accidentally killed his brother-in-law due to losing control after being ambushed on the way to a celebration for his nephew that he was invited to by people he trusted, almost certainly making him wonder on at least some level if that was why he was invited; lost two members of his new family who he clearly loved because of said accidental murdering; learned their deaths were for nothing and, when he retaliated against the planned attack that shouldn’t have happened because that’s what WQ and WN gave their lives to prevent, saw his beloved sister die to save him; and, after all that, lost the rest of his new family to a siege on a civilian population led by his brother. And after all that, his response was... to destroy the incredibly dangerous weapon he’d made because he didn’t trust the sects to not destroy each other and themselves with it and kill himself rather than risk losing control again and hurting anyone else. In the novel too; I don’t doubt for a second that WWX planned on dying in that siege, even if he didn’t expect destroying the seal to do it.

Take a look at that paragraph. All those things that happened to WWX. And in the end, he was kind. He was so, so kind, and remains kind even after thirteen years of being dead. He would have been well within his rights to go all “Then let me be evil” on the sects, but every time he attacked them they struck first, and most of the serious damage he did happened as a direct result of losing control of his experimental and mostly unknown new cultivation, which is a real risk even with spiritual cultivation; NMJ probably would have happily killed everyone in Qinghe if the qi deviation hadn’t gotten to him first, given how easy it was for him to attack even his beloved little brother. Everything bad that happened to JC is on that list, pretty much. Everything that JC suffered WWX did too, with some variations in the details (and of course dead versus alone for the same period of time). JC had the advantage of a sect at his back and a high rank by virtue of his birth, while WWX’s position was entirely reliant on JFM and, later, JC. And yet some people insist that WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions but JC’s somehow does. Now, some people argue it’s different because WWX was a mass murderer. Yeah, well, JC’s a fucking serial killer, and he doesn’t have the excuse of losing control due to using resentful energy to cultivate and being attacked by everyone he’d ever known and trusted.

...I’ve kind of lost track of where I’m going with this. Short version: I very strongly disagree with anyone who insists WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions while bending over backwards to argue that JC’s trauma excuses his.

[aquaburst3]

I read this really great meta about Jamil by @jamiiviper. Honestly, it got me thinking. Jamil reminds of Malik from Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters. A ton. There are a ton of similarities between the two...

Both have mind control powers: 

Malik with his Millenium Rod...which I swear isn’t a sex euphemism.

Jamil with his Unique Magic, which allows him to mind control people.

Both are guys who are from family that whose duties are to serve another from cradle to the grave

Malik with Yami’s pharaonic line

Jamil with the Asim’s

Both guys grow to despise or resent the families they served for before reforming 

Malik was physically and emotionally abused by his deranged father. He developed DID, and his split personality murdered his father. Malik saw the spirit of Shadi say the pharaoh did it, so he set out to murder Atem as revenge. He created the Rare Hunters to achieve this end, and had them enact his goals. All of the finalists went on a blimp. While on said blimp, his split personality took over before Atem defeated him in a children’s card game, restoring Malik again. (YGO was weird and a product of its time in regards to its treatment of mental health. But that’s neither here nor there.) 

Jamil’s family were servants to Kalim’s for eons, causing him to be constantly put in his place, so to speak. After a lifetime of this, Jamil tries to use his powers to become dorm leader and get the recognition he desperately wants. He also desperately be free of his status of servant, longing to free the rest of his family of said status.    

Both are guys are from the region of North Africa, the Middle East and South Asia.

Malik’s Egyptian. 

While the location for a irl analog for The Land of Hot Sands is murky at best, the imagery and iconography of the Disney Aladdin lines with the area of where the Mughal Empire used to be irl. If the game lined up to real life, he’d likely be South Asian. He’d likely hail from either Afghanistan, Pakistan or India.

Both were “freed” of their duties to varying degrees

After Atem goes into the Field of Reeds, Malik is freed of his duties and can do whatever he wants with his life. 

After Jamil overblots, Kalim tries harder to be independent and not rely on Jamil as much. It’s implied that after Jamil graduates he will try to leave the nest, and travel the world on his own. 

Outside of this, they are both cunning and calculating guys. 

If I had to choose which is the better character, I would say Jamil due to his story being the more compelling and believable of the two. 

For one, Malik’s backstory is way too over the top, and kinda goofy in retrospective. His family line had to stay underground for 3000 years while waiting for the pharaoh’s return. (How he doesn’t have any massive health problems from the centuries of siblings and other blood relatives getting it on for eons on is beyond me.) He literally never saw the sun until he was a teenager let alone knew what modern tech was.  Yeah...a lot of that is jumping the shark, more than a little in hindsight.    

Whereas Jamil’s, despite the supernatural nature around his, is a bit more grounded. He was just born to a family, who were servants to a rich merchant family that has ties to the royal family. That’s it. While Jamil doesn’t keep up with the latest tech, he knows what a smartphone is. That comes off as a lot more believable to me. 

Something I never liked is that after Malik’s arc, nothing is hardly resolved. Right after his arc is over in the manga, it’s the Memory World arc where it’s centred around Atem finding his lost memories and defeating a foe from his past. Malik could’ve helped out, or tried to make up for his past mistakes to Atem. Maybe go into that world with the others and use his knowledge to help out the others. But, nope. He just shows up for 5 seconds before Atem and co go to that Memory World, and then fucks off out of the story. In this anime, this is even worse, since there are a few extra filler arcs (which I’m glad is a thing of the past) that happened before Memory World. He could’ve played a role in any of those, but never does. What a waste. Because it would’ve been so much better if he played a bigger part.

In Twisted Wonderland, Jamil’s side of the story is resolved, and his growth comes off as more believable. After Jamil overblots, I get the sense that he regrets what he did and learnt his lesson, even if he would never admit to himself.  In the Pomefiore arc, he also doesn’t hold back and speaks his mind more. Sure, Jamil still has his flaws from before, but comes off as realistic. People don’t need to be completely absolved of all their flaws to have grown as people. After all, he’s still “twisted” from a Disney villain. 

[lenalikesboots]

Bootleg Review n°1

So I watched this bootleg video yesterday and I must say...I’m impressed,

From what I know, this is the oldest video out there of the West End production of Love Never Dies. It’s completely pre-changes - it uses the soundtrack from the original album.

The leads are played by  Ramin Karimloo (as Erik), Sierra Boggess (as Christine), Joseph Millson (as Raoul), Summer Strallen (as Meg), Liz Robertson (As Mme. Giry), Richard Linnell (as Gustav)

What really bothered me at first is that it’s missing about 25 minutes from Act 1. Everything in between Till I Hear You Sing and Mother Please I’m Scared is missing. The bootleg is otherwise complete. There is some washout in bright lights and the camera strays at times from the action, and there’s a  bar that blocks some of the actors, but otherwise, this is a very a decent bootleg. 

I liked seeing the scenes that they cut off in the Australian production. I thought it was interesting. 

The Coney Island Walz is instrumental only, and it serves as kind of an Overture thing, in which, just like in Phantom, they take you back in time and set the whole setting of the show.

It goes all the way back to opening night of Phantasma. 

In the beginning, there are people chattering about the new amusement park, wanting to go in. 

After that, we get to see the whole only-for-him; only-for-you thing, which I thought was cool.

Also- Although I do think that it’s possible Meg has developed the hots for Erik,this Meg seems to just want a promotion. She’s in love with her career, not with her boss. I genuinely like that!

In Summer’s portrayal, Meg seems to be giving 110%, and wants nothing more than to be noticed and have her work appreciated. Of course it’s a blow for her when her mother told her that her boss didn’t care enough to show up. It’d be a blow for anyone, really, because it means your work is alright, but still not outstanding. What’s next, he doesn’t even know her name? Calls her Meghan, instead of Meg? 

Anyways- it’s safe to say, I like Summer’s portrayal of Meg a lot!

Next we move on to Till I Hear You Sing! I absolutely loved the way Ramin sang it for this performance!

It was absolutely breathtaking!

I’ve had chills so many times listening to him sing it, like damn!

Unfortunately, the recording stops right after that and picks back up at Mother Please I’m Scared, where it’s really mostly audio and you can’t really see a thing. 

I must say, I liked this Dear Old Friend! I liked how this time, Meg didn’t sound judgemental of the fact that Christine stopped singing to become a full-time wife and mother.

And I liked how instead of sounding bitter, Meg sounds rather confused when Christine said she was going to sing. 

Moving on- in the middle of Dear Old Friend, Gustav runs off. 

Obviously, he goes to see Erik. 

And here we come to the first thing I didn[’t like about the show: Ramin’s Erik is really cold and mean towards Gustav in this performance particularly. I know that it’s only because he believes him to be Raoul’s son but come on- even if Raoul were Gustav’s father, it’s not the child’s fault! You can’t choose your own parents goddamn it!

I liked Beauty Underneath...kind of...idk,. I generally don’t like the vibe this song gives me. 

I liked the whole “wow! You and I think the same!” idea, but the way they carried it out was bordering on genuinely creepy.

Next up! Erik takes his mask off and...fucks everything up. Kid runs away. 

I liked Christine’s reaction to all of this. I liked how she asks Madame Giry to take him away and how she apologises to Erik for her child’s reaction. 

And here we come to another of the things I didn’t like about Ramin’s portrayal of the character...Repeat after me: You do NOT strangle the woman you thought could possibly have bore your child. You. Do. NOT. 

And you do not tighten your grip when she accuses you of abandoning her- especially if you DID abandon her! Dammit Ramin! Why so angry?

Good thing that he releases her- HOWEVER...

Why so angry Ramin??? Damn!!!

Then she tries to kiss him (which I must admit- was out of nowhere) and he pulls away, still looking super angry.

 I get it-he feels awful that not even his own son can accept him the way he is. I get it. 

BUT...why take it all out on Christine?

Poor girl already had to go through enough because of him. 

Moving on: there are a few other things I didn’t like...but this time, I won’t put the blame just on Ramin.

Number one: when he uncovers his face, Christine turns away. Isn’t that kind of contradicting the whole idea behind “This haunted face holds no horror for me now”?

I understand that his face may not be the prettiest sight, and I understand that she was kinda shocked-after all she hasn’t seen it in 10,almost 11 years. Buuuut she didn’t have to full on turn away.. I thought that directing/acting choice was a little over the top. 

And number two: after Christine leaves, Erik is left all alone to think about what just happens. He seems to be a really proud dad at first...but then there is one line that really threw me off, considering what happens in the next act. “If it’s true, I’ve no reason to live” 

Uhm...dude?? If you’re planning to kill yourself, why the hell would you make a bet, which would be forcing your baby-mama and your kid to stay in America if you’d win it (and you already know you will) ?

And if he suddenly had a change of heart before that, why didn’t we get to see any of that happen? What motivated him? What made him change his mind?

Did Christine maybe ask him to make that bet? It wouldn’t be a surprise if she did....

And I am not saying this to hate on Raoul! I absolutely love Raoul and pity him greatly in Love Never Dies. He’s not an abusive monster. He’s sick! Not only is he suffering from an addiction, but he also seems to be suffering from depression.

He blames himself for all of Christine’s suffering- although, he had nothing to do with it. It all goes back to Erik leaving her, creating a vicious cycle. Christine then marries Raoul just so she wouldn’t be shunned for having a child out of wedlock. She’s obviously unhappy in her marriage, which ends up making Raoul unhappy, so he ends up drinking his sorrows away. In the end, he blames himself for the fact that Christine is unhappy. 

This is what I got from Why Does She Love Me?

Quite obviously, she doesn’t. 

He thinks she does, because she says so, but she is obviously unhappy in her marriage because she doesn’t. However, Raoul takes her sadness to mean that he is the one who is not good enough. He is the one making her unhappy. He is the one unworthy of love.

It breaks my heart that after everything he’s done for her, he ended up feeling so damn bad about himself. None of this is his fault.

 Then, in walks our second unappreciated character: Meg. There are a lot of parallels in between these two. I feel like they’re both going through the same pain, although in very different ways. 

When I watched LND for the first time, I thought this would be the start of a brand new love story, one that would steal the show, and inevitably, our hearts.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. 

When Meg leaves, Raoul starts talking shit about Erik, only for him to end up showing up behind the bar. Talk of the devil, they say...

Over all, I think this scene is a really funny one- probably a fun one to rehearse and perform as well. 

But the whole idea behind it...Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but...Christine is a human being..She’s not property...Let her make her own damn choices for once, she never ever got to do that in her life. 

I hate how Erik starts objectifying Christine in Love Never Dies. He didn’t do it in the original, why start now?

Moving on to the next day:

Bathing Beauty is so damn catchy! Like damn!!

I love how Meg arrives in a hot air balloon. 

I liked this randition of Summer’s Bathing Beauty. I couldn’t see much of it and I couldn’t see the bathing suits either, but the whole scene was really nice. 

I felt so bad for Meg in the next scene though!

Madame Giry was waaay too harsh with her. 

Next scene is Christine’s dressing room scene.

I love how conflicted and anguished Sierra portrays her to be. And I love the contrast between the way she acts around Raoul and the way she acts around Erik. Around Raoul, she’s really sweet, like a good wife should be and she is also quite affectionate. 

But around Erik...

I think this picture speaks for itself...

By the way: The way she doesn’t question why Raoul asked her not to sing, and the way she gets all conflicted later, makes me think that she knows about the bet, but is starting to have second thoughts about it. Which is completely understandable. As a wife, her first priority is her marriage, which they could, possibly work out.

And as a mother, she has to put her son and what would be best for him first too. She can’t just force him to accept a new guy as his father- even if he is indeed his biological father. So all that anguish she’s feeling? Completely understandable. 

You can see from her body language, even when she’s singing, that she is having second thoughts. That this is really hard for her and that she doesn’t know what to do. There is so much pressure on her, the poor girl is close to breaking down on stage, in front of thousands of people.

But then Raoul leaves...And everything in her body language changes. She becomes more confident, more content with her decision. For once, she put herself first. She realizes that she will finally get to be happy. 

She, Erik and their child...

I love how happy and hopeful she looks in the next scene as well!

It’s sad that they don’t kiss in this scene, but oh well...We move...

Another thing that made me believe that Christine knew about the bet was how unbothered she seemed by the fact that Raoul left. She wasn’t shocked. She knew this was going to happen. She didn’t want it to happen like that, but it did. 

And then when she realizes that Gustav is missing, she nearly gets a heart attack, 

I absolutely LOVE Erik’s reaction to the whole thing! I love how worried and angry he got! See, this is one of those times I do appreciate his anger. 

Moving on to the next scene:

One thing I didn’t like about it was how close Erik got to Meg when he told her “We can’t all be like Christine”.

That line is such a bad thing to say when trying to comfort someone who’s having a mental breakdown...

Meg has been working for him for ten years. She has helped him so damn much, and she doesn’t even get a thank you, or a decent. No, she only ever gets all these dumb vaudeville numbers, making her a showgirl, not a respected performer. 

While Christine, who has only been in town for two days, and hasn’t been performing for a couple of years, immediately gets the aria, the nice dress and the beautiful jewelry. 

And then, he has to point out how perfect she is, in front of Meg, who then, when she just wants to talk back to him, ends up accidentally pulling the trigger. And you can tell this was clearly an accident in this performance. She even runs off to get help, only to later return, probably with a doctor on the way, when Christine is already gone (maybe. nobody checked her pulse or her breathing, and the bullet didn’t hit an important artery. She might still be alive)

I loved Erik and Christine’s last kiss. It was so sweet, so passionate. I love how he kept kissing her even after she let go.

However...I didn’t like the way Ramin portrayed his reaction to her death. I understand that the feeling he was going for was numbness, but it literally ended up looking like he didn’t even care that much. For someone who’s never seen Phantom before (maybe just read the book) , who ends up watching this recording, this is the vibe you would get from it. 

I love the fact that Meg came back and that she is holding Christine’s body. You can tell just how sorry she is. 

I loved the whole unmasking scene. I loved how Erik slowly started opening up to Gustav, when he was finally ready to accept him. And I loved the hug in the end.

And I must say: Erik is getting better at hugging. That’s good!

All in all: I really liked this recording of the show. 

If I were to grade it, I’d give it a 7,5/10.

 Before I end this post, can we please appreciate just how gorgeous that dress is? Like damn!!!

Sierra looks absolutely stunning in it as well!

(When does she not look stunning though?)