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blackberrybuds · 1 month ago

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mini essay about tsutsujio tamemichi & the use of dr. kan's hands as a metaphor for rape

ive been thinking a lot about tsu and kan recently so i wanted to dump some thoughts lol. cw for things involved with their stories like medical trauma and sexual assault and such

i think tsu is a masterclass in writing a metaphorical rape scene. i know that he genuinely faced sexual assault by kan, but i wanna focus on the idea that his heart surgery was a metaphorical rape in and of itself.

for background, during tsu's first year working at KFTI, he got in an altercation with dr. kan that lead to dr. kan beating him so badly he broke four bones, including his pelvis and almost every bone in his arm. we're told that he needed a lot of recovery time, and that during this recovery time, dr. kan pulled him for an experiment that involved performing open heart surgery on him.

we're told that the anaesthesia used was localized and not general, meaning he was awake for the surgery. we're told it was for the expressed purpose of seeing how he would mentally cope with the experience of being awake for something like that. that's the background we're going with. we then see how that affects tsutsujio and how he describes it.

tsu has chronic arrhythmia and heart palpitations. when he gets worked up, his body starts shutting down, which makes him panic and makes the entire thing worse. every day hes having these little spirals where he thinks hes gonna die. this is why he refuses to leave the office and head to OMS - he's afraid that if he does, he'll have an episode that requires kan's intervention, and kan won't be there to save him.

we also see him describe the process in a very specific way: the use of kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Actually no im pretty sure nobody here understands me at all because I keep getting stupid fucking advice and critique from people who havent had his hands in their open fucking chest

he says that nobody can understand how he feels because they haven't had kan's hands in their chest. kan's hands are inside his body. his wording here is very important, because it's going to come up again in this thread, and then again further in the future. for now, let's focus on how it comes up in this thread.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like his hands are on my shoulders all the time [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like no matter what I do or where i go his hands are always on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like if i look down im just going to have handprints all over me [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I dont know why he makes me feel like that [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I cant leave because his hands are always on my shoulders and i cant ever be comfortable because his hands are always on my shoulders and nobody cares or questions it because oh its not that big of a deal its just his hands on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] my body feels wrong how the hell am i supposed to just live like that forever i dont want to [434334633/ Dr. Suga] You feel violated. [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Right like i do but like fucking why should i [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] God this is so stupid why do i always sound so stupid [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I just dont want his fucking hands in my body he fucking hurt me

he describes kan as always having his hands on his shoulders. he describes this as a feeling that's incredibly distressing, and says that nobody questions it because it seems so innocuous - just a hand on his shoulders. suga points out that he feels violated, and tsu agrees, but can't explain why. he then describes the feeling in a much more visceral way - "I just dont want his fucking hands in my body".

the language tsu uses alludes to much more than surgery. this isnt how people describe surgery in a normal context. the idea of someone putting their hands inside of your body holds connotations that feel much more intimate than medical. the descriptions of being covered in handprints corroborate this - he's not talking about medical feelings. he's talking about feelings of having his body violated, feelings that are intimately tied to the idea of sexual assault. this is further emphasized by the presence of his conversation partner - suga.

suga is the absolute picture of sexual violation within staffside. the way suga is described is the picture perfect image of purity. he was young and naive and eager to help. he was almost ethereally beautiful. he was pretty and weak and vulnerable. he was a virgin. the interesting framing device in tetro is that we don't learn any of this until after we've known him for some time. when we're introduced to suga, he's sick and vomiting and exhausted and on the brink of death. we meet him as his story is nearing its climax. only a short while after meeting him, he's put under anaesthesia and raped by dr. kan. this became one of our first central plot points of staffside.

suga's entire arc is about the trauma of sexual assault and how it eventually kills him, for all intents and purposes. we follow him as he's completely devoured by his trauma and his feelings of utter violation. pairing him with tsu in this scene is meant to show the connection between the two. staffside is drawing a comparison between suga's experience and tsu's experience. you're meant to associate them. they both feel horribly violated.

and then we find out that tsutsujio was molested during a medical exam.

it would be easy to take this information and write off the metaphorical rape that was tsu's surgery. it would be easy to dismiss it as no longer important or relevant now that we know tsu was genuinely molested and not just metaphorically assaulted. however, if anything, i think tsu's recount of being molested actually serves to greatly strengthen the connections between his surgery and the idea of rape. let's look again at how he describes the assault.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Again seriously its not that serious its not like what happened to Suga [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Stuff with his hands I guess [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Which again is stupid because obviously the Suga thing is worse so please dont get hung up on this like seriously

another mention of kan's hands. he describes his molestation as something that took place with kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] And it was just one time and it was just with hands like it not like that

his hands again. tsu's focus often comes back to kan's hands. it's the only way he describes his molestation in any capacity. we don't get any details beyond the fact that it was done with kan's hands. kan's hands themselves in this case are portrayed as a weapon of assault. the hands that molested him are the hands he claims to be constantly all over his body and on his shoulders and inside his chest. the connections drawn between the use of kan's hands for sexual assault and the use of kan's hands for tsu's surgery are incredibly clear and further drive home the point of tsu's surgery being used as a metaphor for rape.

let's take a look at other mentions of kan's hands in similar contexts. this is the first time we ever get a mention of kan's hands.

[840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Out of curiosity, was it DURING that event that you told her you were getting handsy with her husband? Before? After?

tatematsu uses very specific phrasing to describe the sexual relationship between kan and seki. she refers to kan assaulting him as getting handsy.

[154314147/ Dr. Toranosuke] Hence why I'm reaching out to you two! I'd like to borrow Minase. [796285914/ Dr. Hattori] Me? [840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Absolutely out of the question. Keep your grubby hands in your own department.

kan claims to want to "borrow" minase. minase is someone kan has expressed lust for in the past - he's pretty, he's blonde, he's got the same borderline ethereal beauty that kan assigns to suga. when he says he wants to borrow minase, tatematsu tells him to keep his grubby hands in his own department. another mention of kan's hands.

[155402844/ Monomoko] He has other methods as well. Ones you might be familiar with by now. Dr. Kan is at his most content when others are entirely reliant on his hands.

this is one of the more prominent uses of the metaphor of dr. kan's hands. monomoko doesn't just say kan needs people to be entirely reliant on him; she says he needs them to be entirely reliant on his hands. his hands are almost given a sense of being their own character in the way people describe them. consider the people we know are reliant on kan to survive: tsutsujio, seki, suga, genki and zenjaku. if he didn't care for tsu's heart, tsu would die. if he didn't medicate seki, seki would die. if he didn't continue to care for suga through his coma, suga would die. i have no idea what he does for genki, but we've been told that without his support, genki would die as well. if he didn't provide zenjaku with the BMS box, he would die. every single person reliant on kan for survival is someone he has sexually assaulted. tsutsujio is the only one of the four who wasn't outright raped, which is where his surgical metaphor becomes even more prominent. it acts as a rape. it feels like rape. to him, it is rape. and here, we see monomoko describing these four people he has raped as entirely reliant on his hands. its another association between kan's hands and rape.

now, we get into the most blatant evidence for the idea that kans hands represent rape.

WHERE KAN. KAN KAN KAN KAN. i kNOW iT wAs HIM. HE LOOKED AT HER, HE DID. WITH HIS. HIS GROSS HANDS!!! HE DOES THINGS!!! HE DOES THINGS TO THINGS!!! hE. HE TOOk her, I KNOW HE DID. WHERE IS SHE?!?! wHERE IS SHE?!?!?! DID HE - NO!!! no. he WOULDN’T - wOULDN’T HE?!?!??!?!? OH GOD!!!!!!! WHERE SHES COLD!!! SHE’S COLD AND I CAN’T FIND HER!!!!!!! HE HAS HER I KNOW IT!!! I KNoW IT. HE TOUCHES EVERYTHING AND HE RUINS EVERYTHING AND NOW SHE’S GONE. hER FuR. HER fur…soft, soFT, and NOW SHE’S GONE!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!! HE TOOK HER. WHY. WHY. WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!! WHERE HES HURTING HER. I KNOW HE IS. hES - hE'S DOING THINGS TO HER!!! THINGS. HE DOES THINGS AND SHE’S GONE AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!!!!!! hIS HANDS. hIS FILTHY HANDS. ON HER!!! ON HER!!! I CAN HEAR HER CRYING. sHE’S CRYING. SHE’S CRYING AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!! OH GOD I CAN’T STOP IT!!! WHERE wHy. why hE DO THIS. Why HE. tOUCH eVERYTHING THATS MINE!!! hE ALWAYS TAKES MY THINGS, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!! hIS EYES. HIS EYES WERE LOOKING. ALWAYS LOOKING!!! I CANT. i CAN’T DO THIS. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE It’s darK. sHE’S nEVER QuiEt. ShE’S never THIS QUIET. He MUFFLED HER, I KNOW HE DID. he DOESNT WANT ME TO HEAR HER CRYING!!!!!!! BUT I CAN. I CAN HEAR HER ANYWAY!!! hE THINKS I CAN’T. BUT I CAN!!!!!!! HE DOESNT WANT HER TO BE MINE!!! BUT SHE’S MINE. MINE!!!!!!! WHERE wHEre IS shE. IS sHE SAFE?!?! IS SHE STILL SAFE???!?!?!? DID I LEAVE HER HERE?!?! WAS IT ME??? DID I DO THIS?!?! no. No. IT WASN’T ME. IT WAS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS HIM AND HIS HANDS AND HIS EYES AND HIS SMILE!!! HE TOOK HER. HE TOOK HER AND HE’S RUINING HER!!!!

the maru logs contain an incredibly chilling description of kan's hands used as a metaphor for rape once again. in my mind, this is one of the most nauseating depictions of kan's inflicted trauma in tetro. in the maru logs, we see the jumbled thoughts of nemoto genki depicted as a terminal. throughout the staffside story, we are repeatedly nudged towards the fact that during genki's deterioration, he was raped by kan. it's something that many people seem to understand and that genki himself seems to still carry the pain of even after losing his memory.

here we see genki in a state of extreme distress after dr. kan took away his comfort item as a form of sadistic punishment - a stuffed sheep. sheep and lambs have extremely strong connotations when it comes to symbolism - they're purity, innocence, gentleness and youth. we see that literally ripped away from genki by kan's hands, and genki immediately begins to violently spiral into hysterics.

kan taking the sheep is, in my opinion, a direct metaphor for rape once again. he is literally ripping a symbol of innocence away from genki, and genki reacts accordingly. he completely melts down, insisting that kan is "doing things" to this symbol of his innocence, and that he's ruining her with his gross, filthy hands. "it's always him and his hands". another case of dr. kan's hands being treated as a separate concept to himself. his hands are a weapon, and we see genki completely lose it as kan uses that weapon to rip away his innocence once again. this isn't a connection that the reader needs to force - it's incredibly clear. genki reacts to this as if it was a rape. he cries about violation and filth and ruining. genki seems to go as far as genuinely thinking that kan would violate the sheep itself - directly violating the symbol of his innocence and purity. directly raping his innocence. he reacts with appropriate horror and distress. kan's hands are once again used in this disgusting, violating context.

but kan's hands continue to come up.

Hibari visibly tensed and vocalized his pain throughout the process, but Kan appeared unfazed. He made several inappropriate comments, including, “You should appreciate that I’m being hands-on. Many would leave you to suffer with less care.”

kan describes himself as being hands-on with zenjaku, and says zenjaku should appreciate it. kan has repeatedly stressed a perverse interest in zenjaku and his body up to this point, and would later go on to physically rape him during a moment alone. having this treatment associated with kan being "hands-on" is another glowing example of the metaphor of his hands.

i think tetro is incredibly effective at not only depicting kan's hands themselves as a metaphor for rape and violation, but then also successfully executing an incredibly poignant metaphor for rape in the form of tsutsujio's surgery. kan's hands are rape. by putting them into tsu's body, he violated him and left him with a trauma that tsu describes in an extremely intimate context. anyone affected by kan's hands is violated, because kan's hands represent violation.

im not sure how much more of this we'll get in the future but i just wanted to get my thoughts out - let me know if you see any other interesting examples of this in staffside or let me know if you disagree completely and think im reading way too far into this LMAO. i just wanna hear peoples thoughts

#tetro danganronpa #tetro danganronpa pink #tetro pink #tetro #tdrp #blackberry rambling #tsutsujio tamemichi #toranosuke kan #cw sa #cw medical

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taurasiluv · 2 months ago

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girl with the tattoo ⸝ ⸝ ⸝ chapter four

「pairing」 breanna stewart x riley carter (oc)

「summary」 its time for riley and breannas date, but it doesn't go as planned

「cw」 n/a

「notes」 okay so originally this was supposed to be longer and include a lot more. btu i felt like it was already long enough + i havent posted a new chapter in a bit so i wanted to get this out now. its still over 4k words so yall r getting plenty! i hope you enjoy

series masterlist

riley carter had waited a lot in her life.

she waited for her little brother, liam, to chase the ball so he could rebound it back to her in their backyard when she was getting shots up more times than she could count.

she had for the same liam to catch up to her whenever her mom made her take him out on her runs.

she had waited for d1 scholarships and more importantly her notre dame offer.

she had waited 4 years for her first college championship from the very same notre dame that pushed her.

she had waited for her mom to accept her sexuality, though she never did.

and within all this waiting, some moments worse than others, riley had grown quite accustomed to hate waiting. her friends remarked that she was the most impatient person they had ever met, constantly needing the next thing and never willing to wait. her dad told her it’s what made her such a good basketball player and her mom told her it made her hard to befriend. but nothing could change the fact that she hated it. that’s what made notre dame so good for her, being at one of the top basketball schools meant there was always something new for her, always a new challenge and opponent for her to face.

but, the idea of waiting for breanna didn’t make riley want to throw up. it was quite the opposite, for the first time, riley was excited about waiting. it only made the prospect of actually going on a date with breanna that much better. she spent the next two days stressing out over the entire thing, but she wasn’t upset by any means, rather just wanting breanna to like her.

within those two days, she somehow ended up at kennedys house more than once.

the first time she ended up on kennedys couch with a glass of wine and two nagging girls begging to know the details.

“so…. how do you feel about the date?” kayla poked.

the girls knew what they were doing, it was about two glasses in before they started to ask questions. riley was tipsy enough to start to spill, “i’m terrified but also… not?” she shrugged before continuing, “maybe she doesn’t even like me i don’t know why she’s taking me out.” she frowned.

“oh shut up riles, didn’t she literally fing-“ kayla started before being quickly interrupted by riley.

“oohhkay! yeah, maybe.” she flushed red, memories flooding back of the night when breanna took her.

kennedy and kayla shared giggles at the rookies reaction before continuing their prod for information. “where is she taking you?” kennedy asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“i have no clue! she never told me, she just said to wear something nice." riley shrugged.

“ooh yeah shes taking you somewhere expensive,” kayla laughed.

“how do you know??” riley prodded. deep down, she knew a lot more than they would ever let on. she knew they did. there was no way they didn’t, they both knew her a lot longer than riley ever did.

“all the girls who have ever been with stewie have been spoiled rotten, she has money, even if shes not talking about it.” kayla shrugged. a pang of jealousy went through riley at the mention of breanna dating other women.

of course, riley knew that breanna had dated other women before, but it still for whatever reason made her jealous. she swallowed heavily, moving in her seat uncomfortably, attempting to push her feelings down. they weren’t even together, there was no reason for her to be acting like this.

“where do you think shes taking me?” riley asked in an attempt to avoid talking about any of breannas past lovers.

“probably that one pasta place she likes, ive heard its pretty nice.” kennedy shrugged before taking a sip from her wine glass.

riley nodded, taking mental notes on all of this. kayla and kennedy talked for a little while longer, riley listening in silence. she still couldn’t get over the weird jealousy that was brewing in her head. she had never really experienced jealousy before. sure, her past girlfriends at notre dame being up and close with other women got her jealous, but nothing like this. she was never jealous over a woman she wasn’t even dating.

once the room had settled down, riley decided it was time for her to go home. she got her stuff together and walking her way back to her apartment.

the next time she ended up with kayla and kennedy before her date was right after practice the next day. instead, they were both at her apartment, tearing apart rileys closet in order to find a good outfit.

riley sat on the bed, fairly overstimulated as her two teammates debated on what to put her in. they held multiple things in front of riley, arguing over whether it was good enough for the date and the potential fanciness of said date.

after what felt like hours, they had found a cute short dress with fuck me pumps to go along with it. “you know you’re gonna have to wear your nicest underwear for this, right?” kennedy wiggles her eyebrows, causing riley to fall back on the bed in embarrassment, her hands coming up to cover her now blushing face.

“shut uppppp, shes probably just gonna drop me off here and then go home, i doubt its gonna go any further than that.” riley stated, clearly having her mind set that there was gonna be no sex involved.

—

it was now wednesday, the day of the date. they had been dancing around each other the entire day. trading lingering glances and brushing touches.

today, they were standing together on the sidelines, their arms just close enough to touch. their arms brushed up against one another, soft giggles coming from the both of them.

“are you excited for tonight?” breanna asked nervously, fidgeting with her own fingers.

“no actually, i’m deeply regretting saying yes.” riley deadpanned. she couldn’t only keep her face straight for so long before they devolved into giggles.

“shut up, irish.” breanna rolled her eyes jokingly.

“ill be quiet when you do, husky.” riley raised her eyebrows before walking away.

they had sat together during lunch as well, small talk filling otherwise dead air.

“what was notre dame like? i know i always make fun of you for it, but by the looks of your stats. you weren’t half bad.” breanna grinned.

“it was a good fit for me, i loved it a lot. it pushed me hard and i wouldn’t be in the place i am today if it wasn’t for that push,” riley started, taking a bite of her sandwich before continuing, “i’m not as pretty and straight christian girl as some of my teammates were.” they shared smiles, both knowing that was incredibly true.

before their conversation could go any further they had started their drill. riley was mildly disappointed they hadn’t talked much at practice since she asked her out. they spent every lunch together and filled dead air with small talk but nothing in depth. they were both busy, to be fair, but she wanted more time with the girl.

she lingered on that thought for a bit they were both busy, to be fair, but she wanted more time with the girl.

she lingered on the thought for a second before being very quickly brought back to reality from a ball being thrown at her head.

“think fast carter!” riley heard nyara yell before hurdling the orange ball directly at her head.

she had tried her best to avoid it, but much to her dismay she was soon on her ass holding her head.

“wait fuck im sorry, i didn’t mean to actually hit you!” nyara yelled from across the court, quickly making her way over to the rookie. along with nyara, breanna also came over just as quick. she was kneeling by rileys side, her hand resting on her shoulder.

“you good rook?” breanna asked softly. the soft and gentle tone in her voice caused rileys heart to skip several beats—that could also be blamed on the fact that she just got pummeled by a basketball—but she chose to believe it was because of breanna.

“what do you think, husky?” riley deadpanned, tears brimming in her eyes from the pain.

breanna couldn’t help but admire the soft pout that was on rileys face, butterflies in her stomach flapping their wings much harder than before suddenly. she grinned, a small giggle coming from her, “you’re right. c’mon, me and ny will bring you to the locker room.”

nyara and breanna held a hand out and riley grabbed one with each of her hands, successfully being lifted off of the floor and onto her feet. she wasn’t like that long though, her head felt a lot heavier than before and her vision went spotty.

and before she could do anything, she was suddenly falling backward and breanna was quick to come up behind her and catch her. “you really fucked her up, ny.” breanna glared, she wasn’t mad. but she hated to see riley hurt, especially if it could’ve been prevented.

“i know, i’ll buy her chocolate or something as an apology!” nyara grinned, which only made breanna crack a smile.

they carried riley to the locker room and set her down on the bench. “go get water, i’m gonna stay with her til james gets here.” breanna explained, sitting next to the passed out riley on the bench.

nyara nodded and left the room to go get a cup of water for the rookie. “y’know, if you are concussed and we can’t go on that date tonight, i’m gonna be pissed.” breanna mumbled, talking to riley who certainly couldnt hear her, still fast asleep.

“its okay if you are concussed though, i’ll come over and take care of you.” she nodded, grinning to herself.

breanna had dated, or rather, hooked up, with a lot of people.

she had started dating women in college and she had quite the roster. always a new girl to mess around with after games, only to ghost weeks later. she had never really had ‘feelings’ for any of these girls per se, more or less using them for a week of fun rather than a long time of commitment. she had crushed on girls in college too, spending her days yearning and wishing her hookups were those girls. but she had convinced herself she didn’t have the time. basketball was always over her relationships.

the same pattern occurred when she went to seattle. sleeping around and never really ‘dating’ anybody. jewell had always told her that she had just about broken every girl in seattles heart, but she really didn’t want to believe that, even if it was true. eventually, she got out of that phase though, instead of hooking up she just flew solo. she decided that she still did not have time for relationships or random hookups after games.

thats where she was now, she hadn’t dated in a while, let alone took a girl on a proper date. the occasional hook-up that ended with ghosting.

riley was new to breanna. she wasn’t the same, she wasn’t like the other girls she had taken an interest in. she actually wanted to make it work, she wanted to commit and make riley hers.

“i got water, a snack, and james.” nyara’s cheery voice brought breanna out of her zoned out state.

“if i may ask, what happened?” james, the teams medical professional asked.

breanna glared at nyara while she stood dumbfounded. breannas eyebrows raised, silently reminding her that shes the one who has to explain this. “..i kinda threw a basketball at her.” as james opened his mouth to respond, nyara quickly followed up, “it was supposed to be think fast! i didn’t think she wasn’t gonna catch it!”

breanna laughed, scooting over to give james room to do whatever he had to do. “you know, if shes concussed and sandy gets wind that its your fault, youre screwed.” he explained while he put on his gloves and got out his materials.

“i know…” nyara frowned.

james grabbed a packet of something and squished it up, “uh, i recommend you guys stand back for this one, and… she’ll be fine.” james commented. nyara backed up but breanna remained in her position.

“i’ll stay, its alright.” breanna shrugged.

james shrugged back and snapped the packet open right under rileys nose. the horrid smell quickly filled the room, even breanna started coughing.

riley awoke from her unconsciousness with urgency, attempting to squirm away from the awful smell. “what the fuck!” she exclaimed, backing up into breanna.

breanna grabbed her in order to keep her still, “slow down rook, hes still gotta check you out.” she mumbled in her ear.

riley groaned, returning to her original position and quickly realizing her head was pounding and she was about to puke. “trash can, now, please,” she barely got the sentence out before she was heaving over a black trashcan, the remnants of her breakfast coming up.

once she had calmed down and had puked up her guts, she sat back on the bench, closing her eyes to attempt to soothe her headache. “water,” breanna said, passing the small paper cup to riley.

she sipped it slowly, still nauseous and on the brink of puking at any second.

“alright kiddo, concussion protocol time. even if you aren’t concussed, you’re still going home today, got it?” james explained.

riley nodded and james began his tests. simple number questions and memorization. riley did okay, still mildly out of it from just waking up.

“alright carter, seems like its a very mild concussion. you should be good before the season starts but we’ll have to do some more tests before the first game. i’ll go ahead and tell the front office. just go home and get some rest.” he explained.

riley nodded once more, her head still pounding. james left the room and so did nyara, leaving just breanna and riley.

“so no date tonight?” riley pouted, turning her head to look at the older woman.

“not tonight rook, i’ll come home with you and make sure youre good though.. if thats okay.” breanna asked, nervously fiddling with her fingers.

“oh thank god,” riley groaned in relief, “I was not trying to cook all by myself with,” she gestured towards her head wildly, “all this.”

they shared a laugh but the moment was soon ruined by sandy coming in, pulling up a chair in front of the bench that riley was sat at, holding a giant binder.

she went on to explain their concussion protocol and how she would be out til next tuesday, right before the first game. “you’re free to go home now, you want me to get somebody to take you home or are ya’ good?”

riley thought on it a moment, but before she could reply, breanna was already talking. “i’ll take her home, is that good?” she asked.

sandy nodded and got out of their way, returning to the gym to continue the practice.

“i’ll get your stuff, just stay put, okay?” with that, she hopped up off the bench and went to rileys locker to collect her stuff.

“you don’t have to take me, bre, you shouldn’t skip practice cause of me,” riley pouted.

“don’t stress it rook, i don’t want you to try to get home by yourself.”

deep down, riley heavily appreciated that. almost just as much as she hated waited, she hated people leaving.

she also dealt with a lot of people leaving in her lifetime, and she didn’t want breanna to be one of them.

breanna set her bag on the bench, digging through it and coming out with a pair of sunglasses, “put these on.” she handed them to riley before closing up her bag and swinging it over her shoulder.

“c’mon,” breanna held her hand out so riley could grab it to help her up from the bench. she took her hand and got up, mildly stumbling around before breannas hands stabilized her. “you okay?” she asked.

“mhm,” she nodded before attempting to grab her gym bag off of breannas shoulder.

“nuh-uh. you’re not carrying anything.” she shook her head and grabbed her hand.

their hands intertwined almost instantaneously, almost naturally. breannas thumb found rileys knuckles, gently rubbing back and forth. “is this okay?” breanna asked gently.

“its perfect, actually.” riley grinned. they made eye contact and the room fell silent once more, it felt like it was only them two in the world, and even if somebody else was there, it wouldn’t matter. they both shared a small laugh before leaving.

they slipped out without anybody seeing them, allowing them to keep their hands together without risk of anybody seeing them.

—

the ride home was nothing special, they sat in comfortable silence as breanna drove them back to riley’s apartment. once they had made it, breanna helped her out of the car and continued to carry riley’s bag into the apartment.

when they first stepped into riley’s apartment, breanna was surprised. within the very few days that riley had been in new york she had already made the place her own. trinkets and posters on display throughout the place. “where do you want your bag?” breanna asked. riley pushed past her before answering, dramatically flopping onto the couch with a groan.

“i’m gonna die,” riley groaned, kicking her legs like a toddler.

“you just need to rest. where do i put the bag?” breanna asked again. her tone was never angry or impatient with riley, even if she was being a tad bit dramatic.

“just drop it anywhere,” riley was barely audible, her face pressed down into the couch cushions.

breanna nodded and set the bag down by the door, taking off her shoes right by it. “go lay down in your room with the lights off, i’m gonna bring you water.” she told her, padding into the kitchen to look for a cup.

riley groaned dramatically and got up from the coach, slugging her way to the bedroom. she turned off the lights and laid down, head head still pounding.

much like she did to the couch earlier, she dramatically flopped onto it and made her way under the blankets, in far too much pain to worry about getting changed or showering right now. after what felt like hours, breanna padded into the dark room.

“i found the cups and some advil, sit up for me rook.” she explained softly, her voice barely above a whisper in order to not make the headache she assumed riley had any worse.

riley followed said instructions, propping herself up on her elbows and taking the water cup and the pills. she slowly took a couple sips of the water before throwing the pills back and swallowing. “you good?” breanna asked, her hand coming up to brush the loose pieces of brown hair out of riley’s face.

“mhm,”

“okay, i’ll be out on the couch if you need me.” breanna said. she hesitated a bit before leaving, her hand lingering on riley’s face and she began to move in like she was going to kiss her, but ultimately decided against it and left the room,

closing the door to a mere crack.

riley, far too out of it to notice the older woman’s actions, simply laid back down and closed her eyes. it wasn’t long before she was asleep and breanna was sat on the couch, scrolling through her phone and cuddling up with a blanket she had found on one of the chairs nearby.

it had been about an hour after riley fell asleep and breanna was content sitting on the couch. she wanted to explore around riley’s apartment a bit more but decided that it was an activity for when the rookie was fully awake and could give her proper stories about everything in the place. she was quickly taken out of her thoughts by a groggy voice coming from the hallway, “bre…”

she turned her head to see a half asleep riley who was still bundled up in a blanket that she had dragged with her. “what’s up?” breanna asked softly, turning her body to face her and resting her head on the back of the couch.

“will you come lay with me? it’s cold.” she frowned, an adorable pout that breanna was sure she would have etched into her memory for forever.

“yeah, of course, c’mon ba—rook.” she had caught herself trying to call riley baby, it had scared her in a way. every time breanna was hooking up with a girl it had never gotten to the point where she was wanting to call them petnames or take care of them when they were concussed. she might be screwed.

she moved away from her place on the couch and followed riley to her bedroom. riley snuggled into the bed and breanna followed. she kept a decent amount of space between them, not wanting to cross any boundaries or get closer than she needed to be, but that didn’t stay for long before riley’s arms reached out and pulled breanna towards her.

now, riley’s head was nestled in the crook in between breanna’s shoulder and neck, her arms wrapped around her stomach. breanna assumed a similar position, her arms wrapped around riley’s center holding her close.

it felt natural the way they were lying, like their bodies were meant to be together, fitting like puzzle pieces. their legs tangled together and they just laid like that.

riley fell asleep rather quickly, a soft snore coming from her that breanna found adorable. breanna was soon to follow, nodding off to sleep while gently rubbing riley’s back.

several hours later riley woke up to breanna attempting to get up out of her grasp. “where y’going” riley murmured into her shirt, attempting to keep her in place.

“i’m gonna make us food, sound good?” breanna whispered in her ear, running her hand through riley’s hair.

riley nodded weakly, letting go of breanna’s shirt to allow her to leave the bed. suddenly the bed was very cold and riley was more aware of the pounding headache than ever before. sure, it was milded due to the painkillers but it was certainly still there. she stared at the ceiling, listening in on the faint sounds of breanna moving things around in the kitchen.

after hearing several pans fall and a series of fucks and ow’s coming from the kitchen, riley decided to go check on her.

she dragged herself out of the bed and down the hallway. “are you breaking all my shit, husky?” she asked, leaning against the half wall that separated her living room and kitchen.

“no! its fine! go lay back down!” breanna said in a panicked voice, attempting to cover up the mess of pans on the floor with her body.

riley laughed and moved towards the kitchen. “absolutely not, let me help.” she said, bending down to pick up the pans. “what the fuck are you trying to make?” she laughed again, seeing the array of ingredients on the countertop.

“i was trying to make us a nice meal, but you have nothing in your fridge other than snacks.” she rolled her eyes playfully, trying to keep her face straight but failing horribly. she cracked the smallest smile and they both devolved into laughter.

after cleaning up the pans, breanna opened the fridge again and examined the contents. “….do you just wanna get takeout?”

“yes ma’am.” riley nodded, leaving the kitchen and flopping on the couch. breanna grabbed a bottle of wine out of the fridge, poured two glasses then went to the living room to join riley. instead of sitting on the other chairs near by, she poked at riley til she moved. “scoot. i wanna sit.” she whined.

“you’re sooo dramatic,” riley laughed, sitting up and moving over on the couch.

“oh shut up, you’re the last person to be talking about being dramatic,” breanna teased, setting the wine glasses down on the table.

they went back and forth with the banter for a bit after ordering their food, it was incredibly natural and easy for them. like they had known each other for their entire lives and this was just another day for them. they started out on opposite sides the couch, but riley found herself slowly getting closer and closer to her. soon enough, her head was on breannas shoulder and breannas hand sat comfortably on her thigh.

“i know this wasn’t like a proper date, but its still nice.” breanna murmured.

“yeah… i like this,” riley grinned, moving her head up to look at the woman. she admired her, the way her soft features were illuminated in the moody lighting of rileys apartment. she was about convinced she was the prettiest woman she had ever seen.

“once you’re not concussed, i’ll take you out on a proper date.” she smiled before placing a soft kiss on rileys forehead.

“kennedy and kayla helped me pick out an outfit, so you better.” riley laughed.

“show it to me!”

riley shook her head firmly, “absolutely not. if you wanna see it, take me out on that date.”

breanna rolled her eyes, “you’re stubborn rook.”

“are you ever gonna stop calling me rook?” riley giggled, snuggling in closer to breanna, attempting to steal her warmth.

“nope.”

—

after lots of talk over wine and food, and then a handful of episodes of shitty reality tv—something that they just now realized was both of their guilty pleasures—breanna got up and began to gather her things.

“you’re leaving?” riley asked, sadness lacing her voice.

its not like she still needed her there. her concussion was feeling much better now and she could get around by herself, but she still heavily enjoyed her day off with breanna. she also wasn’t willing to admit that maybe she just wanted breanna to be there, just to spend the night. no sex, no nothing, just spending the next 24 hours like they spent the last 12.

“yeah.. is that okay?” breanna asked, tilting her head softly.

“do… you wanna stay..?” riley asked nervously, hesitant to ask.

“i’d like that.” breanna grinned, “i have nothing to sleep in though,”

“thats okay, i got stuff. just stay here!” riley grinned, jumping up from the couch and going to the bedroom. a perfect plan hatching in her head.

soon after, she emerged from the bedroom with clothes in her hand, tossing them to breanna. breanna examined what she would be wearing, her smile fading quickly. “i’m not wearing this.” she said stubbornly, looking at the notre dame logo on the shirt.

“oh cmonnn, you gotta wear it.” riley said innocently, batting her lashes.

“i’ll sleep in my practice clothes i dont care!” she laughed, throwing the clothes back at riley.

“you really hate notre dame that much?”

“yes.”

riley proceeded to get her an actual outfit, a plain white t shirt and pajama pants. once breanna was changed, they cuddled into bed and fell asleep entangled with each other.

she wanted to spend forever like this

#breanna stewart x reader #wbb x reader #uconn wbb x reader #wnba x reader

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stevie-petey · 1 year ago

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hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH

(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)

i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!

enjoy <3

"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.

jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.

"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.

steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."

jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."

"i dont believe you."

"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."

steve stares at you, shocked.

"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."

"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."

"i did."

during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.

"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"

"yeah." you both say at the same time.

steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.

"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."

jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."

"im right here, you know."

steve winces. "sorry."

"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."

jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.

shes too good.

you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.

now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.

the kindness is yours, no one elses.

and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.

you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."

jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."

steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."

"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.

its all you could ask for.

even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."

and its enough.

#southelroy #ask #come home blurb #set in between seasons 1 and 2 #m speaks #m's writing #bug lore #wdtai insight #bug is the quote #and so i try to be kind to everything i see #and in everything i see #i see him #thats bug #and its what makes her so beautiful

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give-me-hohen · 1 month ago

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ryomina canon -- a thread

hi this is my transferring the ryomina post I originally made on my twitter to tumblr, as my twitter has been archived. this was originally made like a couple weeks after reload came out haha. ignore the bad formating :^)

also apparently tumblr hates when you post multiple videos, so theyll just be links mb haha.

DISCLAIMER!!

since theres been a lot of persona ship discourse going around.. no im not trying to say ryomina is the only canon ship, nor that any other ship is bad. i just find the little dialogue changes that atlus purposely included to be interesting. you dont have to ship.

thats fine. just ignore this thread and go on LOL. now thats outs of the way, some of this will be.. a stretch, and definitely ranty. my apologizes !! and also, all p3p and p3fes screenshots and recordings r taken from online playthroughs.

and b4 someone says 'oh you havent played p3fes and p3p?!?!' i played p3fes on my ps3, as for portable. i havent, so sorry if i get info relating to that wrong ;;

*Moonlight Bridge Scene*

firstly, i don't want to start off with the obvious love confession ryoji has on 12/1, but instead i want to focus on some dialogue changes that stood out to me. during the moonlight bridge scene, instead of fuuka being the to run up to ryoji, it's makoto. this stood out to me with the context of what happened on 12/1. there was no need for atlus to change something so minor, except if they wanted show the concern makoto has for ryoji. also! only the manga has makoto catching ryoji, in both routes for p3p, he just passes out.

they ended up changing the scene to resemble the one in the manga. purposefully choice atlus!

*12/3 Dialogue*

then followed by giving makoto dialogue choices exclusive to femcs route, where you can romance him. again it's such a minor change that struck me as interesting, did they want to showcase the bond between makoto and ryoji further?

imo its to push this idea that it personally effects makoto, that having to kill ryoji is a difficult choice for makoto, just like it is with kotone. he doesn't want to kill ryoji, he hates both choices, because of ryoji, because of what it involves to erase their memories

*12/31 Dialogue*

since i'm talking about makoto killing ryoji-- let's go onto the changes during 12/31 !! the changes made here are some of the (imo) most major ones, as they ended up giving ryoji dialogue that ONLY happens when you romance him in kotones route

this dialogue ONLY happens if you romance ryoji in femc route, if you don't, the dialogue is exactly the same as in fes. i think its obvious on what the implications of ryoji saying this are. i don't think i need to spell it out to you dear reader on WHY atlus purposely added romance-exclusive route dialogue..

oh! and speaking of that, the additional dialogue after you choose not to kill him! again, theres no extra dialogue in his fes and no romance route, make of this as you will!

also, unlike pretty much all the slinks and additonal episodes added into the game, makoto actually puts ryojis music box on his bed board thing. a way to remember ryoji and the bond they had, even if they're separated.

in general, i think these slight dialogue changes help showcase that ryoji does, infact, have feelings for makoto, even if you choose to ignore the piano scene. from adding dialogue that's specifically from a romance route, to the literal music box. ryomina canon!!

anyways i think a lot of what i said above isn’t too far of a stretch, but im like totally aware everything past here might be me coping, but hey! its fun.

but let's continue looking at 12/31, except this time.. the bad ending! while the bad ending is mostly the same, ive noticed some changes when it comes to pacing and the animation. atlus clearly shows that makoto is visibly upset, they have him turn to show his face not just once (him turning his face towards the camera while on the bed) , but twice, when he gets up and gets ready to shoot ryoji. they make the change of his expression VISIBLE. his faces changes to visibly being distraught. then theres makoto summoning his persona itself is delayed in reload, there's cleary hesitant when it comes to him summoning it in reload. it takes a couple of seconds for the fade to black, vs fes where it fades to black as soon as he pulls out his evoker.

also seriously this additional dialogue when nyxs true arcana is revealed? i'd say it was somewhat taken from the movie, but come on. Come on, do i need to explain

anyways! i just. theres nothing i can say much other then they deliberately allowed for this dialogue to happen. they didn't need to, atlus didn't need to say that ryojis song (and by extension, ryoji himself) left an impression on makoto.

alright i think this is the end.. friendly reminder that this is all for fun, if you don't ship them, thats fine. i just think with atlus stealing dialogue from kotones romance route for ryoji, there's heavy, and id say canonically evidence of ryomina.

and some afterthoughts as almost a year has past since ive written this thread. i still find the purposefully inclusion of kotone's romance dialogue pretty damning for ryoji lmfao. the more i've thought about it, the more i do genuinely believe that ryomina at the very least is semi-canon, with ryoji canonically having feelings for makoto.

sadly this is persona, the i know the persona fandom well to call the few examples we have of actual queer relationships 'queerbait', or just ignore it. it's a shame because i do think ryoji's love for makoto in reload is so well written, and such a tragedy. but hey, its atlus lmfao

..also ryoji saying 'next time i flirt with girls ill make sure they dont have bfs ^-^' then straight up asking makoto if he has someone like god ik what you are.

#ryoji mochizuki #makoto yuki #minato arisato #ryomina #persona 3 reload #persona #persona 3 #persona 3 fes #persona 3 analysis #idk what else to tag this #persona 3 portable #ig?#p3p #p3fes #p3re #lets hope this actually posts lmfao #side note it literally wont post if i embed the videos which makes me SAD #i want the vids embed if anyone better at tumblr knows how to.. lmk :(

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vypridae · 8 months ago

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9!!! 10!!! 11!! 12!! 13!!! or pick and choose <3

IDK WHICH FANDOMS U MEAN BUT IM GONNA DO EACH ONE AND ILL JUST PUT MY HAZBIN/HELLUVA ANSWERS UNDER A CUT SO U DONT HAVE TO SEE THEM

9. worst part of canon

ok the worst part of dgrp canon has to be the way they handle characterization, like especially with trauma. specifically in mind i have korekiyo rn, like they mega rushed his entire Thing and wrote it in a way that paints HIM in a terrible awful light when it very likely (or definitely) wasnt that at all, but the way it was written just fucks up so, so much. also the Danganronpa Repitition TM (flashbacks to

bsd uuuh oh my god i have to think about this one cuz i love bsd with a passion BAHAHA its hard to find flaws with that one (in part i havent consumed the media in forever), ik it might be just bc the series is still being written but its irritating that some things from like the first seasons are just not touched upon again? and maybe its because ihavent read the manga but like. did atsushi join the ada and suddenly the bounty on his head is just Gone? am i misremembering if they went back to that or not its been like a year since ive watched bsd i need to rewatch it but thats about all i can think of. im not even mad about the not killing any characters because fyodor is alive still

10. worst part of fanon

dgrp has a TERRIBLEEEE shipping fandom. i hated oumasai for the longest fucking time because i encountered this one rper way back when that like was a mega red flag SBGJKFDHGKA i hated them for a while after that (then they grew on me). you get shit on for liking, like, the more toxic ships in the fandom no matter your reasonings or whatever, and i feel like its just a really negative place to be a shipper that likes to explore bad dynamics (such as i)

i think the worst part of bsd fanon is similar. shipping sides of fandoms are ALWAYS bad i feel like, and there are a lot of people that will be like "skk is real fuck you for shipping anything else" or like "if u ship nikolai with anyone but fyodor i dont trust u" or something like??? its a fucking ship chill out its fictional it doesnt hurt anyone irl CALM DOWN

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

for bsd uh . only two surprisingly, and its two ships that i cannot physically make myself like?? thats all apparently

for dgrp i have uuh two and its literally also only two ships that i dont like BHASFKAHSK

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

for bsd am i allowed to say fyodor? idk if he necessarily counts as "unpopular" but i see way more hate of him than i see people liking him, but god fucking dammit i love him with my whole heart. hes so evil and those kinds of characters litearlly just make me gravitate towards them, hes so smart and cunning and you can do so much with his character, especially learning his ability oh my god? jhes so complex and i love him

for dgrp, i feel like every character is "unpopular" BAHSAJKAHk but for this i think i wanna go with chiaki. people hate chiaki because shes "boring" or at least they Did back when i first got into the series but shes so different in the game compared to the anime because the game shes based on her classmates' memories of her! shes only this "perfect" individual because thats how her entire class saw her, like she was made the class rep for a reason

13. worst blorboficiation

ok this one im trying to figure out what the fuck the definition is BAHAJSHFAJK from what im SEEING its like, the character that doesnt deserve to be liked as much as they are. (i dont think i answered this one correctly but shh its fine)

for bsd thats really hard for me to think of because i like literally every character but uuh if i had to say one ig i'd say uuh . maybe dazai? i feel like this is in part because people typically take away from dazai's entire complex everything because he's too complex for a lot of people (including me) to truly understand, like im not saying i understand him but i feel like a lot of people will take the wrong parts of him/exclude anything they dont like about him and go with that? if that counts but idk i still like dazai so i cant say that too much

for dgrp its the exact same situation with kokichi. they take his character, of which is incredibly complex, and dumb it down into the typical fandom woobification of "uwu baby who cant do anything wrong" LIKE!!! STOP!!! NO HE IS NOT!!! HE IS SO COMPLEX AND YOU'RE LIKING HIS CHARACTER FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!!! people that dont understand the complexity behind certain characters and are incapable of taking that as their blorbo and instead creating this silly incorrect version in their mind and making THAT their blorbo i just. thats not ur blorbo atp thats ur oc my guy

hazbin/helluva answers

9. worst part of canon

both of these shows are kinda not the best when it comes to being serious???? like there are some topics that shouldnt be joked about i feel like, and there are points in the shows that joke in relation to these topics. also theres not enough voxval but thats a criticism for another time

10. worst part of fanon

not even just the ships tbh, its liking any character thats either painted in a negative light or is just generally unpopular. the ships too but i could get to that another time. for EXAMPLE, me, i like valentino. a lot. he's one of my favorite characters. i feel like i cannot express the fact i love val because i will get called an ACTUAL rapist for saying it because "if you like val you condone his actions and thus are a rapist/terrible person/etc" when thats absolutely not at all how it works. i acknowledge that val is terrible, i understand that its bad, but i can still enjoy him as a character otherwise. his actions are what i dont like, ive never liked him (i actually hated him at first because of it but then i saw him being more silly in the series with vox and he grew on me), but you will actively get told to kys if you say that you even REMOTELY enjoy vals character

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

i have none for helluva but for hazbin i have four. three of which are for the sAME SHIP and one is another ship i dont like

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MIMZYYYY dude she gets so much unnecessary hate. like, everyone sees her as annoying and terrible and i GUESS i can see where they're coming from but a. theyre in hell, everyone's terrible, b. people just see her as annoying because she interrupted hells greatest dad and they dont like that because they want their radioapple song or wtvr. i love her and no one can convince me otherwise

13. worst blorboficiation

ok THIS one i might actually be able to answer with the correct definition of blorboification. i feel like alastor gets way too much unnecessary love, and maybe thats just because i think hes too popular for being what he is but hes just not all that to me. like, hes a good character, yes, but some people like him to an extent that i feel like doesnt do him justice?? its like i said with uuuuuh the dgrp side of this question, they dumb down his character a lot and are just generally bad at making him ACCURATE to the point its irritating. (hey so yk how i said i could answer with the right definition of this i lied)

#anyway sorry BFASHBSFDHKBASFHK i feel like i said a LOTTT for this #and also the last question i couldnt figure out how to answer so very sorry abt that #xanbox #ask game

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spicy--meatball · 2 months ago

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ranking 550+ music genres: PART 3

(7) Acid Rock

i know people rave about this genre, but frankly i dont know much about it (there seems to be major overlap with psychedelic rock, im not sure theres really a difference?). i gotta say... i can see the charm of acid rock, but compared to all the other "acid [X]" music ive heard, this is pretty underwhelming. are my dopamine receptors fried? oh sure, absolutely. not only do i have adhd but ive been sitting in front of screens ever since i was like 8.

i will give them this though, if acid rock didnt exist, i dont think all the other "acid [X]" genres i like would exist either. i can respect acid rock musicians for being pioneers of their time. i will also give them props for generally having colorful, intriguing album covers.

all that being said, i would not ask someone to change the music if they were playing acid rock, it is alright. it is going into the "plausible" tier. (i know "plausible" is not a grammatically correct way to describe a song or genre of music, something that definitely exists and cannot be disproven. but i dont care. it is the embodiment of the "Plausible" image from mythbusters.)

Acid Rock song recs

(8) Acid House

cant go wrong with a house beat. as for the rest of the elements of each acid house song, its hit or miss. it took me listening to several songs before i found one i liked, which is a surprise since i used to like house music in general more.

i love the fact that, sometimes, you can instantly tell when a song is going to be house music or house music adjacent because the album cover is a disc or vinyl record that includes the song being played. and you know the beat is going to go hard as shit.

some people dont like a repetitive song, but im not one for lyrics. if its a repetitive song with minimal or no lyrics, im down. not all repetitive songs are built the same though. theres a certain amount of repetitiveness with no change that im not interested in, and house music often walks the line between what i fw and what i dont.

new tier for this genre, "hit or miss".

Acid House song recs

(9) Acid [Techno]

"acid" is a vague genre title. it seems "acid" is generally known as "acid techno", so thats how i will be judging it. in the back of my head this will also be acidcore since acidcore is not explicitly on this tiermaker.

is a song really acid/acid techno/acidcore if you cant picture yourself in an old racing game while you listen to it? hop in your nickelodeon slime green dodge viper and hit the gas type shit? crunchy graphics? theres a certain continuous forward motion to each acid [techno] song that keeps you going, helped by a relatively high BPM compared to that of many genres. additionally, this is one of the only genres i dont mind having risers.

im disappointed i havent been listening to more acid [techno]. this shit goes immensely hard. the iconic liquidy synths, buzzing, and kick drums that mean business are hard to upstage. this is the type of music that i would exchange for some temporary hearing loss afterwards. i be blasting ts. the last song rec is a little more chill than the rest if thats more your speed (or lack thereof).

fellas, im proud to announce our first "🗣️️‍🔥️‍🔥" tier genre!

Acid [Techno] song recs

#spotify #acid rock #acid house #acid #acid techno #acidcore #tiermaker #music #music genres #part 3 #acid genres my beloved

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mejomonster · 3 days ago

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I started watching Battle of the Writers.

1 l keep remembering the amazing wangxian cosplay the two lead actors did

2. I think the premise is actually great??? And not something you would expect based on the title. I am only on ep 3 but the main characters are all popular webnovelists, the top novelist makes friends with Ob-aum and Ozone (the two who haven't formally been friendly with him yet), and I think the whole premise of authors who discuss writing/whats popular/writing deadlines/fans and public perception is so interesting in how its done so far. Theres a scene where they play a game reading aloud snippets of novels and its an excellent chance to play with scenes within the context of "characters roleplaying." Shan the top novelist is giving me the impression of... unaging immortal or knows hes reincarnated, and remembers lover from a past life/time which was Ob-aum. They havent made any confirmations yet, but I think either Shan genuinely is an immortal a la wuxia now in the modern era (which gives me so many fanfic ideas as i wrote a onceshot xiyao mdzs fic once on that idea and love mdzs modern fics where those characters ARE still the same ones), or he transmigrated from a wuxia universe to ours. Or its something more mundane and idk fated, and they just share dreams, but even the fact an audience can wonder if shan used to know ob-aum is cool to contemplate! Shan is also very afraid of the dark (and i found his reaction somewhat relatable compared to panic attacks ive had) and said something bad happened. My guess is oh-aum first life died in the dark or shan in first wuxia life had some bad shit happen to him. Or the more mundane - and still solid - hes modern life traumatized for the same reasons any of us might be in modern life.

3. It kind of reminds me of Lovely Writer except I much prefer the execution of Battle of the Writers (LW is great! It just wasnt my cup of tea - i didnt like the intense level of sound effects, it was romcom and just a little too fluff executed for me, it just wasnt clicking w me, i loved the dive into what it might be like for an actual novelist and BL actor since i love stories like that which look at Their Own creators possible worlds - School Rumble did rhat with the lead guy, Nozaki Kun did that, a lot of my fave animes do that, a bl jdrama i cant remember the name of did a bl mangaka and the boy band guy he falls for and his fujioshi editor and i loved that show to pieces). Battle of the Writers still has that sort of pulpy romantic comedy bl feel, but the romantic moments music swelling and slow down almost reminds me more of a kdrama romantic drama? Definitely executes the romantic scenes like Word of Honor or Guardian almost, focus on the seriousness and intensity of attraction, of what the characters are thinking, and then the intense music/romantic shot after bouts of comedy comes off a bit more thai romcom because of the surrounding comedy. I enjoy that the tone goes from realistic-including depressing reality (loss of job, online people attacking, online or real stalkers), romance fantasy (the guy who likes ob-aum moving him in, following him for his number - and i LOVE that he said he was riding the bus too because its a way of making the Overly Romantic trope feel more like if a real person did it... and Shan asking for ALL online contacts which also feels realistically awkward and eager. Or Shan offering for Ob-aum to move in, and Ob-aum saying no i dont wanna impose and hanging up - realistically people turn down help even amazing offers out of wanting to do it themselves/fear theyre annoying so i liked that Ob-aum did the realistic thing, and the little talk about rent again adding realism to ground what would otherwise be a fully Exagerated sugar daddy type trope. Making Shan a bit awkward, intense, and have fears humanizes him and makes him an imperfect believable person instead of a perfect-fantasy-romantic option).

#rant #battle of the writers #lb #basically i love it so far

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fictionfixations · 18 days ago

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link click bridon arc ep 5 reaction

LU GUANG'S FATHER KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT ABILITIES? PROBABLY??

more lore about how tf ppl get powers or how it works genetics wise or something? idk man my brain is buffering slowly

lu guang said he discovered it when he was 7 right?

huh

also i wonder how they got through this the first time around. lu guang says he knows a lot about this because he knew someone who knew a lot about abilities or something but... first timeline or? or was it that they learned it all first timeline and then thats just him regurgitating what he learned from then?

also theres always some sort of violence that i just cant stomach or like make me queasy or something?? and like one of that includes hitting your head against a sink its just agh fuck man

also tbh black-haired guys who arent xiaoshi i immediately worry is like liu xiao. i feel kinda dumb for not realizing that it was his dad in like the preview LMFAO but also i was stressing

(also him knowing english immediately makes me worry about liu xiao. i cant remember if liu xiao can speak english but i know vein can and theyre connected. somehow. also both antagonists or something)

also fuck we have one more episode what

but like the way lu guang was like careful about the teacher or something had me on high alert and when xiaoshi started cheating i just knew he was prob gonna get caught

also what was with that interference?? lu guang said it was d but xiaoshi didnt hear it??? but it mightve been intentional and that she was meant to get caught cheating?

also watching that made me wonder if what if they used that ability to cheat in school or something LMFAO. like like either lu guang is very smart and can figure out the answers or its that he knows the answer because he saw the future. so like

if xiaoshi somehow managed to convince lu guang to help him pass like an exam... LMFAO lu guang would probably never but still. then i forgot this line of thought because STRESS

also AAHH again more stress of xiaoshi please dont say something that the person youre possessing wouldnt normally say or tick someone off of oh youre acting strange or what are you talking about or how do you know this and oh poor baby is venting

to his dad. who might be dead.

the rather helping strangers then like going to your own son or something something i forget the line just screams very personal. like okay from an outsider pov what he says can be excused as the girl saying it but okay that line.. it wont really stand out just knowing what we know and that its xiaoshi. oh my heart.

also am i tripping or does that little kid kinda look like xia fei. i think its just cause he was blonde. i almost typed blind LMFAO

ahahaha lu guang.. you good?? facing xiaoshi's once-in-a-timeline murderer?.. again?? i dont know man i dont know if i would be willing to work with someone who killed someone dear to me, or even just using them 😭

'you look tasty' XIAOSHI PLEASE. for a second i wasnt sure if it was like he just copied what vein said the first time but then i realized vein probably taught him to it for sure

'serve me' !!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

oh is the post credit like a anti-bullying thing? i dunno chinese but i heard they did the same for when the episodes in s2 with like the domestic abuse happened i think/

also actually i need to know. apparently vein is like a cannibal or something. w h e r e . ive barely seen like the pvs for bridon arc (if episode previews count ive seen them but not really much else) and i havent seen the songs either

like idk ive seen people talk about it and im just like WHERE do you get them from !?!?!?!?!?

also what are the chances episode 6 is an hour long? cause i feel like theres still a lot to uncover before the end..

i dont know how to feel about the ep 6 preview

like LISTEN the last few previews have had me absolutely stressing and now ive gone full circle to okay. okay. acceptance. okay.

im worried. but. but this is FINE ahahahahhaha

imagine the ending is they just fucking die 😭

what if xia fei dies?

wait a second

i keep forgetting this is in the past

like in regards to liu xiao that his stuff in like s2 of him doing SOMETHING hasnt come to fruition yet

im gonna be honest i forgot what like he intends to do (back in s2 i think he was at least planning or starting something of uh oh we're gonna have more struggles in s3?)

but. hm.

maybe the ending will be loose ends that will then get tied in s3 or something

hm.

also apparently theres a bridon arc bingo 💀💀💀???

also i liked it better when we didnt have to deal with villains with abilities like us /j

for obvious reasons thats a joke but also bruh there was significantly less struggling on gaining the upperhand when we were the ones with abilities and that was it 😭😭😭

..fuck im so worried

so we have a mind reader huh.

couldnt that have the potential to fuck with the timeline?

like so what if xiaoshi is possessing someone and the mind reader reads his mind and knows stuff that happen in the future then and then changes what they do or if they read lu guang's mind

or would that then become fate that that would happen and so in the end nothing would change because thats how its meant to be?

hm.

i need to stop thinking about this im just gonna be worrying to next week 💀

#link click #cheng xiaoshi #yingdu chapter #link click yingdu #yingdu arc #yingdu spoilers #shiguang daili ren #bridon arc #bridon spoilers #bridon chapter #link click bridon

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sleepboysummer · 9 months ago

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What would you say are your top 10 Jane Does? What’s some of your favorite Jane Does singing wise as well?

OH I LOVE THIS QUESTION I AM KICKING MY FEET

its hard enough to just pick ten of them that i dont think i can rank them 1-10 so im just gonna say my favorites in no order. (also im not going to count emily rohm! i usually dont include the american tour in these sort of questions). just be ready cause i am about to yap SO hard i am going fucking OFF

sarah jane pelzer! the og, but also i just love the darker sort of tone she uses for jane. it really shows a different side of jane that i love.

playhouse collective jane is just so cute and i think such a good take on the character. adore her so much

ofc jane was one of the first i ever saw, and i just really like the characterization and interactions with the other characters. still to this day one of the best vocally that ive ever heard!

usd jane is so precious and sweet and i loveee how she holds herself and the voice she does. and k&e is a production where i have not seen any content of her actually performing but i adore her so much anyways. i just genuinely love her costume so much it makes me so happy as a costumer myself...

ut austin gotta rep my texans.. but rly i am just very into the direction taken with the character in this production and think that all the decisions made for her were very well done. plus i always love a white hair jane and i think the white lashes was also a really nice creative decision.. very ghostly and i think it fits so well.

majestic repertory!! a current production (which i have been waiting for for MONTHS to happen as i am familiar with some of the theatres other work and knew they would do this show so well. (and i was right!)), i love when janes take the more scary route with their movements, similar to my love for roxys downtown jane! and she is a prime example of that. i really love the characterization so much and it is definitely more similar to how i imagine her.

roxys downtown is the best example of how i actually imagine jane to be... their jane is the blueprint to me.. the actors choices and work with movement is so impressive and genuinely captures the character so well i can hardly imagine any other direction. plus the amout of impact their bojd had on future theatres is undeniable there is nothing like it

jungle theatre another one of the earlier productions i have just kind of always adored, the costuming is just so well done and i think we owe all the props to the first marionette jane

and cjt jane i love!!! i found their production from the jane actor themself, we were talking in a comment section and they sent me their theatres tiktok (which had three followers at the time lmao they were still months out to opening) so i kind of have a special place in my heart for them. their sweet childish kind of charactization is just so precious and really encapsulates the tragedy of the situation i think. plus also they made me CRY with their reaction to ocean sending jane back and that has never happened before so.

the best vocally that i can think of would have to be

ashlyn maddox. i wish i could say otherwise but she brought such a fresh voice to the character and is very clearly trained to perform in this register. plus the opt up she does changed me as a person forever and i genuinely cant hear the song without it.

ofc theatre- some of the clearest notes ive heard by any jane, and the stability that she performs is so beautiful. im also obsessed with the gentle vibrato and more sweet tone that she has compared to the intense operatic style of the original material.

beck centre, i havent watched in a hot minute so i cant give the most specific examples but i just remember how healthy and clear her vocals were and that is something that surprisingly many productions are lacking. i really appreciate when i find one where the actor sounds practically effortless.

the cast of mini mirage that there is a recording of. (i cant say anything for the other 2 casts sadly). i really appreciate a young actor who not only can pull off the song alone (WITH HEALTHY AND SUPPORTED VOCALS) but also incorporate the ashlyn maddox opt up!! i love that choice so much and cant believe we moved on from it so fast its such an incredible moment in any production that utilizes it as long as it is well done by the actor. i also just really love this actors vocal tone, i think it is so rich and beautiful and very different from most voices, especially in contemporary musical theatre.

dramatech. some of the softest sweetest vocals ive heard and they sound so healthy too but she does it so effortlessly which is what i love abt her performance most!

#rtc #ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone jane #jane doe rtc #jane rtc #yapping #me being a nerd warning #rtc production pictures

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thesugarhole · 1 year ago

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sanrio?? hello??

violin* and obsessed with money???? since when??? i mean. alright. i can give the violin to him AND cherry but its like, very barely there violin??

me to the sanrio ceo: "berry is violin" shut up if youve seen the stuff kuromi circa 2006 used to do youd hurl

also i dont think wallet status has ever been mentioned about these guys... in any media/franchise. they live in an abandoned looking mansion for the halloween aesthetic, not because of money. i can believe 'obsessed with money' but not 'poor'

hoping its either just google mistranslations or some recent developments ive been blissfully unaware of

>cinnamon

>her

its mistranslations. also this is personal headcanoning time based on how often the confusion happens but man you cant do this to cinnamon notorious trans man icon cinnamon. if he doesnt mind it then ill mind it for him djkhfdksj 'cherry is competitive and selfish' is correct btw this has always been her description. well maybe not competitive but definitely selfish. iirc it was always around "berry is stubborn cherry is selfish and theyre both tsundere" genuinely dont know where violin came from its gotta be a mistranslation on the nuisanse/stubborn aspect. i also dunno where 'weakness is strong-willed girls' came from, it might be talking about his friendship with cherry and how he might given in easier to what she tells him (at least i choose to think so) so i got no comment on it

all the pronouns being mismatched is so funny man come on shjfhdgfdsjvfdsjv is this profile using some sort of neutral language that left google confused as hell?

i. uh? should i be worried about espresso?

this ones... correct? espresso is more of a culture savant than a celebrity.... anyway berry if you kick him out there will be no one there to make you the food you love

nope! its magic and mirror manipulation. pranking is their hobby and favorite pass time but their magic is not limited to just the -its joke- context (sorry to once again quote the worst season ever of OMM, but they both tried to help out bakus family by making a photo of food they had emit scent, so the family would have an easier time eating plain rice. no jokering no jestering no clowning no malicious behavior whatsoever).

i remember being mentioned in older descriptions that berry had some potion making proficiency but they havent focused in that in years so who cares now amirite. i dont remember if cherry had any sort of distinction like this, theyve always overfocused on her crush on espresso :pensive:

"what about cherry"

"who? oh idk write smth about espresso again"

(hobbies include PRANKS, attempting to make friends (a general trait) making music (2018 rankings), having ballroom parties (cinnamon trip!! by oster project) and watching sentai/magical girl anime (onegai my melody). berrys particular hobby is to mess with cinnamon, cherrys particular hobby is to go after espresso. i guess.) (but again most of these are old one offs, and currently unfocused aspects of theirs so. whatever)

also i really would like to know the plans about the alt designs for them that are technically their true form and always show in their shadows and (sometimes?) in mirror reflections. it hasnt been completely dropped but, its never been hard defined either so idk. i guess i feel a bit bummed that its also been attempted to be forgotten to time because (to me feel at least) it feels very obviously based on the episode kuromi turned herself into a human and it could be something they were trying to establish to devil inspired characters back then.

thanks for coming to the lloromannic autism hour its nice to think about something else other than current personal events sometimes

*censorship

#sugar.txt #sanrio #lloromannic #cherry #berry #cinnamon #cinnamoroll #kuromi #onegai my melody #baku

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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 2 years ago

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Any other headcanons you wanna talk about? For Ford or others? I’m always free to listen!

hi sorry this took a while, i was trying to figure out which headcanons i wanted to talk about here- thank you for the asks! :D

i have yet to post any queer headcanons for the pines family and im still excited about ford using it/its pronouns, so here you go!

mabel - i headcanon her to be panromantic and aspec. maybe demisexual? havent quite decided yet. she's also transfeminine and xenogender. xenogenders. she cannot be contained in just one. also a neopronoun user- she/they and a bunch of nounpronouns. she collects them like pokemon cards.

dipper - had to think on this one a bit (ive seen two different headcanons for him that i really love). i headcanon that he's biromantic arospec and bisexual (possibly aspec? still not completely sure.) he's transmasculine! i think he'd tell people his pronouns are he/him, but he wouldn't mind people using they/them or neopronouns for him

stan - bisexual biromantic for sure. also somewhere on the aromantic and asexual spectrums, im just not entirely sure where exactly he'd fall. he doesnt know either. he's trans, and he's not sure if he's transmale or transmasc. he doesnt really care about finding out. he/him but he's fine with they/them too.

and i saved ford for last because i wanted to say- there's actually a specific reason i headcanon all these things about his identity. which is that i saw other people talking about him with these things in mind and went "oh shit thats me isnt it".

moral of the story- the below headcanons were all stolen directly from other people and this is how i realized i was trans and aroace. the gravity falls fandom really can be wonderful. also i would die for aroace ford.

anyway- i headcanon ford is aroace. specifically, he doesnt feel any romantic attraction (im sure theres a word for that but i wouldnt know it) and he's sex-repulsed (i know the word for that one- apothisexual). he may or may not have a queerplatonic relationship with fiddleford. this is something mabel and stan have been trying to figure out and they just havent yet.

he's transmasc! real big fan of the idea that he realized that simply not gendering was something he could do after going through the multiverse. he uses he/they/it and, like mabel, collects neopronouns like he collects anomalies

bonus headcanon for fiddleford - biromantic bisexual and transmale. may or may not be in a queerplatonic relationship with ford. he's okay with whatever pronouns you want to use for him but does lean towards more masculine or gender-neutral ones.

i wouldve included soos and wendy and melody but i havent quite nailed down my headcanons for them yet

#if theres any specific kind of headcanons you wanna hear or if you want to share your own headcanons please feel free to send an ask!#or a message if you would prefer that #hearing other peoples headcanons is one of my favorite things (genuine)#oh wow i actually have a lot of tags i need to use for this one #gravity falls #ford pines #stan pines #mabel pines #dipper pines #fiddleford mcgucket

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sagittarithealastorsimp · 1 year ago

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im bored, so im gonna rant about alastor's breakdown scene

deal with it

(i also may have lost the post with most of my info but whatever shut up/j)

WARNING: MAJOR spoilers for for hazbin hotel

if you havent watched it all the way through, id reccomend that-

also speak of sensitive topics such as father issues, mental breakdowns,

i feel like i should say this, i am NOT a psychiatrist, in ANY way shape or form, and im just speaking from prior knowledge and experience, aand also my friend who has studied psychology and all that jazz immensely (say hi to ros! :)

i also make an excess of unnecessary and dumb jokes so if you cant handle that bye i guess (/j)

(will also include random images here and there of him, bcz why not)

okay, so i dont think its that much of a secret that alastor is NOT okay, mentally (and physically, i mean, look at that gash thats not healthy smh)

it could NOT have been made ANY clearer that theres something wrong going on in this mans head, and its... uhm whats the word help ive backed myself in to a corner here

theres more than one s o m e t h i n g thats wrong, i guess, and im here to give my opinion and theory on the matter so uhhhhhh

make sure to SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE AMAZING CONTENT1!1!1!!/j

okay very dumb and idiotic jokes aside smh, im gonna explore and explain each one of the reasons i think this guy is not okay, starting with

d r u m r o l l

father issues! yayyyyy amazinggggg totally not horrible haha whaatt.. anyways, there are numerous hints that alastor had, at the very least, a very problematic father, and, hey, ever notice how he's more comfortable around women?? and that he was a confirmed 'mamma's boy'? yeah, based on those two things (i only provided two reasons because, haha, i may or may not have lost the post i was using for info) i think we can concur that he had atleast SOME sort of father issues, and not the "oh yeah he's just an annoying goofy fella" kind of father issues

of course, we ALSO have the deal he made, which was brought up briefly in episode 5, and 8

and there i s kind of a funky little debate on who the deal was with, and what it was for, but the two main cantidates are lilith, and roo

and who knows what lilith/roo makes him do, even? ...okay, aside from lilith/roo, who would be the ones making him do things-

i dont know, theres not alot i can say on this matter other than its most likely alastor made a deal with either lilith or roo to save his power or something, and briefly bring up the fact that he probably does have to do some things here and there, and the fact that if it i s lilith he made the deal with, she probably sent him to help out with the hotel, maybe, i dont know

WHEWWWW OKAY THEN lets get in to some of his behaviours that are n o t at ALL good or normal, the way he treats husk and reacts to him 'caring' about his 'friends' wooo yayyyyy

also heres another alastor image so you little grubs(/j) dont get bored at the lack of things to look at woo

lets start with how he treats husk, thats just, thats not nice man dont do that :(

jokes aside though, there HAS to be some reason that he treats him like this, theres no way that its just because he owns his soul- like, unless husk did something reaallyyy bad theres no reason to treat him like that (granted, alastor IS in hell for a reason, and is NOT a normal or good person)

anyway thats it for this section because i really dont have anything and im relying on the wiki and memory alone to get me through this post shush :(

okay lets talk about his reaction to him nearly dying for his 'friends' and actually caring about them

its clear that this man has some sort of issues with caring about people, and there has GOT to be more than one reason why other than "oh no people are gonna think im a softie thats no good :( *has a breakdown musically*" i mean, it COULD be just that one, but i just really dont think it is honestly, i dont really have that diffinitive of a reason, i just really think that something happened that made him n o t want to get attached to people,

and i REALLLYYYY want to know what that reason is in season two

alright, for the last bit of this post, i think we should discuss the fact that he always smiles

we DO know that one of the reasons is that, to him atleast, a smile is a valuable tool, that keeps your friends inspired, and your enemys guessing, and always ensures YOU'RE the one in control

but its HEAVILY implied in this image that there is another reason,

if you observe close enough (not really that close, but hey who has perfect eyesight not me) you can see it looks like his mouth is stitched, and even more so to be literally always smiling so theres a possibility that either lilith or roo is ALSO forcing him to smile

then again it could just be something about him literally not being able to talk about his deal, which is also plausible

...or thats just what he looks like idk im not here to judge his fashion choices

CONGRATULATIONS!! you made it to the end of my stupid post! keep in mind that any and all of this could change at any given point, and i will update it accordingly....if i remember to

i am not using this in any way to condone his actions AT ALL, you shouldent be a cannibal, or a serial killer, or be manipulative (is that the right word???), thats unswag smh, and i am NOT AT ALL a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, once again, i only really know some of these things because my friend rambles about them, and i used to get in to crime and psychology documentaries when i was bored

so i am not at ALL a professional

thanks for reading this shit show of a post

#alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #hazbin hotel #hazbin

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