#oh and I ate a raw tomato and enjoyed it for the first time after a lifetime of hating tomatoes but wanting to like them

[journish]

Today may be the best day of my life. Read more in the tags

[echoes-of-the-clockwork]

Book Two: Sapphire (Ignis x Reader) Chapter VI

After speaking to Monica and learning of Cor's plan to dismantle the Norduscaean Blockade, the sun had set. Deciding to head to the rendezvous point the next morning, the royal retinue departed from Prairie Outpost. They were stripped of funds and couldn't even afford the caravan. Instead, they opted to camp out at Lepellieth Haven nearby.

Once the campsite was established, Ignis went to work on dinner. While he was deciding what to cook, (Y/n) grabbed a wood-knitted basket lined with a pale blue fabric. She examined the basket before nodding in approval.

Prompto, who's been scrolling through the pictures on his camera, lifted his head when he heard her hum faintly. "What's with the basket?"

"I'm going to take a short stroll around the area and search for ingredients. The basket makes it easier to carry whatever I find," (Y/n) explained.

The photographer hopped to his feet. "Lemme go with you!" He put his camera down in his chair. "I-I know you're badass and all in a fight, but you really shouldn't be walking around at night. Y'know, with all the daemons..."

She smiled reassuringly at him. "I'll be fine, Prompto. If I'm not back in an hour, that's when you should start worrying. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Do tread lightly, (Y/n)," Ignis spoke up as she left the safety of the haven.

Gladio watched the guardian leave before glancing back at the advisor. "You're not worried?"

"Unlike you all, (Y/n) knows her limits. I have confidence she needs not a hand to hold whenever she pleases to explore," he replied as he began chopping vegetables.

"Damn, Speccy," Noctis spoke up. "Sounds like you trust her more than us."

"To be fair, they've been together pretty much their entire lives," the shield remarked. He leaned back in his seat. "So tell us about (Y/n), Iggy. The rest of us have no clue what it's like growing up with a guardian."

"What could I possibly convey that she could not?" The tactician retorted.

"And why're you so curious?" Noctis mumbled. "Pretty sure they taught you the basics in school."

"I think spiritual beings was the only class I passed," Prompto chimed in.

"Some of us didn't go to a school where they could learn about guardians," the shield stated.

"Now that I think about it, the books mentioned each guardian is unique and their timings vary. When did (Y/n) come into the picture?"

Ignis kept his attention focused on cooking while answering the question. "(Y/n) manifested when I was merely three months old, but our unification didn't come until my fifth birthday. As you may know, spirits are born unto this world via a soul which they are sworn to protect. Just as we, they are brought in with an innocence and pure form. Guardians, unlike us, are stunned at growth and only develop their human form after their masters have reached certain ages. Their spiritual form can also change once development has begun."

Noctis blinked in realization. "Now that you mention it, (Y/n)'s tail was really short when we first met."

"Our first meeting was a time when (Y/n) had yet to develop her human form."

The prince smiled at the memory. "She was really small, too. All I remember was seeing a white fluff ball curled up on your shoulder. She was fast asleep and didn't even budge when I poked her."

"When did she develop her human form?" Gladio asked.

"The day I turned eight," Ignis answered.

Prompto gasped, eyes wide as saucers. "Now I remember!"

"Why're you shouting?" Noctis groaned.

"The reason why guardians take so long to develop is because their human forms are determined by their masters deepest desire!"

Gladio smirked when understanding what Prompto was getting at. "So (Y/n) looks the way she does because Iggy's deepest desire was a beautiful woman. Nicely done. Better make sure no one else tries to take her from you."

"Isn't that a little extreme? Y'know, for an eight-year-old?" Prompto muttered. "I thought maybe it was because Iggy may have been lonely..."

Prompto was indeed correct. Ignis' deepest desire at a young age was someone who would be his friend and someone who would care for him. He had his uncle, but he wanted someone else important in his life to care for him. (Y/n)'s physical appearance was not the result of his desire but simply how well she took care of herself. And now his newest desire was her. He cares deeply for her not because of her beauty, but her heart. What he adored most about her was her kind, caring nature and how selfless she was. She always put everyone else first, just like he did with Noctis. Although he was duty-bound to the throne, he wanted to put her first. However, his job prevented him from doing just that. His duty was to Noctis, not to (Y/n). He couldn't neglect the prince simply for love. He had a job to do and there wasn't any time for any thing or anyone else. Being an advisor was the one thing that was keeping him from professing his true feelings to the one variable that was constant in his life.

Once completing dinner, Ignis handed everyone their dishes. Noctis immediately groaned when he saw the chunks of vegetables floating in the broth, but he ignored the prince and enjoyed what he prepared. As he was about to scold Noctis for not eating, (Y/n) returned with a basket brimming with ingredients. Curious as to what she brought back, Ignis stood up and returned to the cooking station.

With a smile, the guardian showed him what she found. "I found some sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, chocobeans, and tomatoes."

Noctis had overheard and sighed dramatically. "You didn't find any meat?"

The girl placed a hand on her hip while Ignis examined the many items she brought back. "Meat doesn't grow on trees or bushes, Noct."

Suddenly, all eyes were on Ignis as he shouted, "That's it!" with a sweet potato in his grasp.

(Y/n) turned back around and began putting the ingredients back into the basket. "Some new inspiration, Iggy?"

"Indeed. I've come up with a new recipe."

"It better not have vegetables in it," Noctis grumbled.

"I look forward to trying it," (Y/n) smiled at the tactician, ignoring the prince's complaining. "Maybe I could even help prepare it."

"Yeah, right," Gladio scoffed. "Iggy never lets anyone help him cook."

"On the contrary," the advisor spoke up. "(Y/n) is quite the delight to have as an assistant when I am in need of aid in the kitchen."

"Wha-?" Prompto gaped. "You're treating us like curbside garbage compared to (Y/n)! We could totally help you in the kitchen!"

"Your cooperation in the kitchen would be fruitless for you, Noct, and Gladio are ghastly cooks."

The sapphire-eyed girl bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing. She couldn't help but agree after tasting some of the dishes Ignis prepared with help from one of the boys. They always either tasted burnt or half-cooked. Even the cookies Noctis tried to help make weren't cooked all the way through. The center was still doughy because he made them too big and didn't set the oven temperature high enough for the cookies to bake properly. She wondered if the prince had done it improperly only because he wanted to eat the cookie dough raw and not bake it into cookies.

"Oh, c'mon, Iggy! Give us a second chance!" Prompto begged.

(Y/n) placed the basket down beside the grill and listened to Prompto continue to plead with Ignis. She took her portion of dinner and sat down around the fire. She enjoyed the simplistic soup, savoring each and every bite. As she was almost finished with the soup, she looked down at her bowl when she detected movement. Noctis was scooping the vegetables out of his bowl and placing them into hers. "Noct, why...?"

"You know I hate veggies," he said, continuing to remove what he hated from his bowl. "You take 'em."

She inhaled deeply before exhaling. "How old are you again?"

"I don't care if I'm 5 or 50, I'll always hate veggies." When all the vegetables were gone, Noctis ate what remained of the broth.

Deciding not to argue, (Y/n) finished what was left of her serving and Noctis' vegetables. With her bowl clean and her belly full, she offered to do the dishes in Ignis' stead. The advisor tried to protest, but she snatched up all the dishes before he could grab one. "You four should get some rest. I'll deal with the dishes. It won't take long."

Noctis and Prompto crawled into the tent to play a few rounds of King's Knight before going to bed. Gladio followed suit with his book in hand while Ignis lingered in his seat by the fire. He stared into the flames for a few minutes, delving into deep thought. When he looked away from the campfire, his eyes traveled over to (Y/n). She had finished with the dishes and neatly stacked them on the preparation table by the grill. Now she stood at the edge of the haven, eyes casted up to the night sky.

Pushing himself out of the chair, Ignis wandered over to stand beside her. He followed her gaze to see what had her attention. When he couldn't find what captivated her, he wondered if she too was lost in thought like he was a couple minutes ago. "(Y/n)?"

She blinked rapidly a few times before humming in acknowledgement. "Hm?"

"Are you feeling unwell?" He asked.

She smiled sweetly at him. "I'm fine, Iggy. Guess I was lost in thought again."

That's when he remembered what she told him at Galdin Quay. "Has the voice returned?"

She hung her head. "I...was hoping you'd forget about that." Looking back up at the sky, her eyes glistened as she focused on the cluster of stars only spirits could see. "I never told you before, but there's this mass of stars only guardians can see. It's called the Celestial Crescent. I would often gaze at it back in the city, but the lights and barrier prevented me from getting the perfect view. Out here, I can see it perfectly. And now whenever I look up at it, I hear the voice. With each passing day it becomes clearer, but I still can't make out what it wants."

"Is there nothing I can do to ease your concerns?" Ignis offered.

"Just talking to you about it is enough. I am grateful for you listening to me ramble on. It does put me at ease having someone to talk to this far from home."

"It puts my own harrowing thoughts to rest knowing you decided to accompany us. I fear our time together would've been cut short if you had desired to remain in the city."

She clasped her hands together behind her back. "I don't know what I would've done if I stayed behind. You and I are connected no matter how far apart we are. And if I had perished in the city when the empire struck..." She moved one of her hands from behind her back and placed it over the gemstone embedded in her chest. "I'd rather not think of the gruesome outcome that could've happened if I had decided to remain in Insomnia and wait for your return."

"Neither do I," Ignis confessed.

(Y/n) finally looked away from the night sky and focused her eyes on Ignis' tall stature. "It's getting late. We should call it a night. We've quite the day tomorrow and wouldn't want to be sleep-deprived. It'd be awful if one of us were to slip-up in battle and wind up injured." Without skipping a beat, she transformed into her spiritual form and flew into the tent. Ignis followed after her once extinguishing the campfire.

Inside the tent, the three boys were already asleep. Ignis laid down on the opposite side of Prompto. Once lying comfortably on his side and turned away from the others, he felt a familiar furry presence curl up near his stomach. Unconsciously, he reached down and stroked (Y/n)'s back as she slumbered. Even in the darkness of the tent, he could see her snowy fur clearly.

Eventually, Ignis felt sleep tugging at his being and he soon fell into a deep slumber.

<-------------<<<<<

The next morning, the group ate breakfast and packed up the haven. Ready to leave Lepellieth Haven, they set their destination to be the Norduscaean Blockade. They rendezvoused with Monica, who instructed Noctis to join Cor up ahead while she and the others remained behind to be a diversion.

Monica, (Y/n), Gladio, Ignis, and Prompto approach the blockade from the front. The imperial troopers on duty aimed their weapons at the group as more poured out of the blockade with their own guns drawn on the group. The guardian raised her hand and formed an ice wall made from large icicles around her and her companions to protect them from the gunfire. When there was a break in the firing squad, Ignis, Monica, and Gladio emerged from cover and attacked the soldiers. Prompto and (Y/n) remained behind the ice wall and used projectiles to attack any imperial forces that scurried their way.

After some time, soldiers stopped pouring out of the blockade and the grand metal gate slid open to reveal Noctis and Cor on the other side.

Prompto bounded over to his best friend with an excited squeal. "Noct!"

"Marshal. It's good to see you again," Ignis said.

Noctis glanced at his companions. "All right on your end?"

"Right as rain," Gladio replied. "The Niffs couldn't take their eyes off us."

"Thanks to you we were spared their attention," Cor stated.

(Y/n) went to speak up, but held her tongue when she heard the low humming of an engine. Looking around, she spotted an imperial drop ship approaching them. It hovered in the air as the imperial officer aboard addresses Noctis and the others. "Stay right where you are. Well, well, if it isn't Cor the Immortal. So you survived the Citadel. But you won't survive what I have in store for you. It's past time your legend came to an end." The officer, known a Loqi, spotted the guardian among the group and cackled. "And it seems a lowly spirit has ranked itself among this band of misfits. It'll be another one to mark off the list." Loqi enters the cockpit of his MA-X Cuirass magitek armor, then deploys to the ground.

"Say, Marshal, how 'bout you show us how it's done?" Prompto asked nervously.

Cor unsheathes his katana. "No wimping out. Let's move."

Alongside the MA-X Cuirass was a horde of soldiers and magiteks. Noctis focused on the large mech while everyone else dealt with the smaller enemies. After slicing through one of the MTs, the marshal glanced over at the spirit. "I'd like to see your specialty again, (Y/n)."

The girl glanced towards the magitek armor. "Who am I to deny a request from the marshal himself?" She broke away from the soldier she was attacking and ran towards the MA-X Cuirass. Ducking under its arm when it swatted at her, she trailed her fingers across the mech's arm. Ribbons of lightning course across its exterior before entering its metallic body and alter its coding. Loqi noticed his mech's strange behavior and how he was unable to control it any longer. "What is the meaning of this?!"

The MA-X Cuirass fires missile after missile at its own allies. Soldiers and MTs were blown to smithereens, leaving only Loqi and his out-of-control magitek armor. He screamed out when one of the mech's missiles hit the cockpit, causing it to crumble to a single knee. Noctis went to finish it and Loqi, but (Y/n) stopped him by grabbing the hem of his short-sleeved black jacket. She met his gaze just as the MA-X Cuirass self-destructed with Loqi still inside the cockpit.

Noctis looked back to the magitek armor and watched in awe as it exploded. He dispelled his blade at the same time (Y/n) released him. Turning to face her, he complimented her ability. "Nicely done."

"You can thank the empire for installing a self-destruct sequence. My magic only activated it when there wasn't another imperial enemy detected within a certain vicinity," she explained.

"Still, it's pretty damn cool."

She smiled. "Then maybe I should work on more surprises to keep you on your toes in battle."

Noctis blinked in excitement. "Wait, really?"

She nodded. "Yeah. There's been a few more things I've been wanting to try over the years, but never really got the chance. Now that we're all the way out here and we have to fight for our survival, it makes for the perfect opportunity to try the many other tricks I've stored up my sleeves."

Cor sheathed his katana and walked over to Noctis and (Y/n). "Impressive. Seeing you both in action puts my mind at ease. It's clear I don't need to worry any more. I'll return to watching the Niffs. 'Til next time, take care." The marshal leaves with Monica.

A moment later, Noctis and his companions move toward the open gate of the blockade. Ignis, who has retrieved the Regalia, slowly drives alongside the others. Gladio rested his greatsword on his shoulder. "Ain't so bad out here once you get used to it."

"Still a lot we haven't seen, though," Prompto stated matter-of-factly.

"And a lot for us to do," Ignis added.

"Yeah."

"Buck up. We're just getting started," Gladio said.

Noctis smiles, but it fell when he realized (Y/n) wasn't following them. Turning around, he found her staring up at the sky with a stoic expression. "Hey, (Y/n), you coming?"

Ignis stopped the Regalia and glanced at her. Gladio and Prompto turned around to also gaze at the girl. She blinked a couple of times before looking at them. Her heels clacked against the asphalt as she walked towards them. "Yeah. Let's see what other trouble we can get ourselves into."

"Do try to keep the trouble to a minimum," Ignis remarked.

She giggled. "No promises."

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

How about some cook Cavendish satisfying Drax with pleanty of food. digging Drax' ass out of a dumpster and showing him what actual food is, giving him pleanty to feat on~

-cursed

This sounds tender as SHIT. Let's fucking go.

Cavendish pulled the top off the pot, taking an inhale. Soup smelled good, it should be ready soon. He added more salt, before putting the top back on. It was late at night, and everyone else was asleep, but Cavendish couldn't sleep. He knew he needed it though, so he decided a nice, hot meal would soothe him. Usually Otto cooked, but he was happy to make something of his own. A nice stew, coupled with some fresh bread (that he didn't at all steal from Brownlee's food stash), he made more than enough food.

"The hell?"

He was about to heat up the bread, when he heard a commotion outside. Something was out there, digging into the box of scraps just outside.

"Fuckin' told that damn cabin boy to dump the scraps."

He grabbed a kitchen knife, and went outside. Probably some rat. Had they not been disease ridden, biting bastards, he would've ignored it. He walked slowly, knife raised, when the damn thing turned around. It wasn't a rat, it was worse. Henry Drax. He was digging into the FUCKING trash, like an animal. Cavendish sighed, as a means of both disgust, and relief. At least Drax wasn't a biter. Usually.

"Fucking hell Drax-the hell you doing out here?"

"Hungry. But I can't go back into the damn kitchen."

"You kept eatin' shit, didn't you?"

"Otto maybe a godly man, but he's a stingy fuckin' bastard."

Drax was an absolute scavenger. He'd always hang around a kitchen, stealing little bits of food, even when Otto was just trying to cook. Cavendish had seen it first hand, and until he was booted from the kitchen, it was pretty damn funny.

"Are you actually eating from there?"

"Aye. Wasteful man. Still meat on these bones, and these tomatoes are still good."

Cavendish watched as Drax dug his foul teeth into a juicy, spoiled tomato, letting the juices run down his ever messy beard. Cavendish didn't love this man in the slightest, but he'd be heartless not to feed a man digging out of old scraps.

"You're a fuckin' mutt- come on."

He smacked the tomato out of his hand, and put his hand behind his back, ushering him back into the kitchen. Drax was clearly upset about the lack of his snack, but he didn’t get a chance to bitch as he sat him down at the table. Drax looked like he wanted to get up, even, but Cavendish knew just what would make him stay. He pulled his flask from his coat pocket, placing it on the table. Drax chuckled, getting comfy in his seat.

“Know how to get me to stay, Micheal.”

He only called him that in private. When not a soul walked in between them. Cavendish waved his hand at him dismissively, He added oil to the bread, and stuffed it into the tiny oven. As glorious as the Volunteer was, Cavendish could make a complaint in regards to the kitchen’s size. He felt cramped in here, not just amongst the damn clutter in here, but with Drax just sitting there, nursing the rest of the flask (greedy bastard, thing was full when he got it to him). It was a bit much, but in a way, it was comforting. Just a slow, brief break from the bullshit at sea. No Sumner, no Brownlee, no insurance tricks, no whaling. Just the smell of a fresh pot of soup, and herbed bread. He turned off when he smelled the bread, just how his mother always did.

“You better stay here, Henry. Too much food here for my lonesome, and if Otto found out I cooked, he’d never let me back out into the ice.”

“He likes someone to talk to. As if Sumner wasn’t enough.”

“Maybe it’s redheads.”

They both chuckled. They knew Otto. the caring, protective type that favored the more feminine, soft men. Men who could pass off for the usual whore. Cavendish finished cutting the bread, adding it to the plates, and alongside the bowls of soup, brought it over to the table. Drax had that hungry look in his eyes, and it was one of the few times where it didn’t unsettle him. Drax, as usual, didn’t savor his food the way any person would. He ate the way a hungry animal would, slurping loudly, teeth tugging at the meat and lips slurping the bones clean. He went in with the spoon when he had to, but when he needed meat, he tucked in like a brute.

“Ya mam never taught you how to eat, did she?”

“Hungry. I ain’t eatin’ with royalty, afterall.”

“As if you’d change for royalty.”

Drax grinned, beads of beef broth dripping from his teeth and into his beard. He rubbed at the mess in his beard, wiping it on his coat, then continuing to feast. Cavendish was no man of status either, but he at least knew how to cherish a meal. The salt in the soup, the sweetness of the carrots, the starchiness of the potatoes, the gaminess of the meat- all which sat moist in the salty broth, seasoned by the bones. And the bread. Crunchy, yet still somewhat soft on the inside. Better than any hardtack they were given. 

“Good soup, Micheal.”

He watched as Drax’s lips curled around the soup, noisy as he drank. He’d give the man one thing; he wasn’t fussy. He picked the bones clean, even stripping it off his cartilage, and even licking the crumbs from the bread off the plate. Man was starving. He groaned to himself upon finishing. He wasn’t sated, but he was a little more tame than before. Cavendish wasn’t even done with his soup by the time Drax sat there, licking the residue off of the rim of his bowl. His tongue was greedy, appreciative of every single drop. Cavendish sighed, getting up, and offering his hand to Drax.

“Quit lickin’ the damn thing, I’ll give ya more.”

“I don’t like wastin’ any of it. You don’t know when it'll be the next time you'll eat.”

Cavendish rolled his eyes. Knowing Drax, he’d live. Man would kill and eat an animal raw, with his own teeth if he had to. He went back into the kitchen, filling up the bowl, and giving the man the last piece of the bread. He gave it back to him, and watched as Drax finally ate like a person. Well, closer to a person anyway. He didn’t dig into it like a hungry wolf, but rather, he savored it, as though it was the least meal he’d ever eat. Cavendish nodded, tucking into his bread after having it soak up some of the soup.

“Finally slowing down, though I’d watch you choke.”

“Aye, I do the choking ‘round here, lest you forget, Micheal.”

Henry shot him a wink, just as he was tearing the strips of flesh from the bone. You could always tell when Henry was eating. He slurped, he moaned, he groaned, his teeth ground against bone. It was an experience for Henry. Didn’t matter what it was. Just that there was enough for him. Henry would still enjoy himself, as if a proper whore was blowing him during his meal. It was annoying as hell to most, but not to Cavendish. All he heard was a hungry, eager man.

“Surprised you don’t eat the damn bone, Henry.”

“Don’t throw ‘em out, I’ll suck on them like hard candies.”

Probably why he hadn’t tossed them to the floor, but rather, kept them on his plate, as if he wasn’t done with it just yet. Cavendish had finished his meal quite some time ago, but he had no issues sitting there, watching and listening to Drax’s animilatistic sounds. By the time he finished, he sat back, licking his fingers over and over again. He finally looked sated, relaxed. Cavendish stood up, taking his bowl, and bringing him another. Drax looked hesitant, even as he sat there, suckling on bits of bones, but Cavendish knew Drax could never turn down a meal. He accepted it, helping himself to more of the soup. Cavendish sat down again, watching Drax gorge himself further.

“Never know when you might eat again, eh Henry?”

“Free food is free food, I’d sooner perish than waste a morsel. Especially knowing you made it for me. Almost sweet of ya.”

“Suck my prick, Henry, I just don’t want to smell trash in your breath, next we meet. You already smell like cheap booze and smoke.”

“You like that smell, they all do.”

He smirked. He didn’t notice the broth run down his arm at first, and had to take a second to run his greasy, greedy tongue up his arm. Cavendish swore he saw the dirt and grime graze off his tongue, and he was surprised that even HE didn’t flinch at the taste of himself. He finished the new bowl of soup, far less quickly than the rest of them. He did finish however, leaning back in his chair. He looked exhausted, and the sigh that escaped his mouth let Cavendish know he was about to pop. Drax reached for his belt, and unbuckled himself, letting himself free of his cloth confines. Cavendish watched as he rubbed at his hairy, plump stomach, slowly. As if he was taunting him. The damn thing was nudging the table in its size, and Cavendish swore he never saw the man so docile. So vulnerable and content with himself. Cavendish got up again, and poured the rest of the broth into the bowl. Just enough for one more. Just a little something extra to push him.

“Alright, you can finish the pot, since ya hungrier and uglier than any pest I’ve ever seen.”

Drax burped into his hand, lightly shaking his head in protest. Drax ate enough to feed a number of men, the fact that he didn’t cough it all back up was a surprise to anyone who didn’t know him. He put his hand on his belly, giving it a nice pat. Soft, hairy, and hot from the oh so big meal he just finished eating. Drax sighed, but pushed himself through it, bringing the broth to his mouth, and greedily slurping at the remains. Cavendish had to hold onto the bowl for him, nursing him like a wee babe, and oh so carefully massaging his big, bulging stomach. Drax gasped as he finished, as if he had just put his head underwater.

“Alright, I’m done now, Micheal.”

“Should be, you finished the pot.”

Cavendish took the plates and put them away (leaving it for someone else to clean, obviously), only to come back with something in his hands. Drax looked damn near dazed, before he looked at the wrapping in his hands, suspicious, as if it were a damn weapon.

“Hell is that?”

“Dessert.”

Granted, they were old, but desserts were desserts. He held onto Drax’s chin, forcing his mouth open and pushing the treat past his lips. They were simple ginger cookies he picked up before they left for shore, but they were still fairly tasty. Not that Drax noticed. His poor body ached and his stomach grumbled, begging for him to stop. Drax the vision of gluttony, greed, and lust. He stuffed the rest of the cookie in his mouth, and upon Drax FINALLY swallowing, Cavendish pressed his lips against his, slowly gracing his tongue with his own. The taste of beef, booze, and sugar, was exactly what Cavendish craved. He looked into his dazed eyes, lightly patting his cheek.

“Better not catch you digging through the trash next time, Drax. You want yourself stuffed, you come to me. Get it?”

“...Aye.”

He patted his stomach once more. He was a filthy, greasy, fat, barbaric man.

Was it any wonder he had to dive in for seconds?

[abiteofnat]

If you’re reading this, I’m coming back to Chicago, beetch

The non-existent rumors are true. After a brief 10-month exit from the city to soak up the fresh air and social distance-friendly suburbs, I am now returning to Chicago as a single, slightly more anxious version of myself. While I’m still trying to kick some of the anxiety and OCD that COVID-19 pushed from “lifelong tagalongs” to “all-controlling demons”, I feel 97% ready to be back where I feel most myself, and cannot wait to welcome that change. While that 3% still makes me a little uncomfy and hesitant, I’m a believer in pushing your boundaries to allow yourself to grow, and also, I am really sick of suburbs food. 

Ha! I joke. I wouldn’t move downtown simply for access to more diverse & higher quality food... or would I? All I know is while there are plenty of gems in the North Shore, I’ve eaten take out from all of them ten times over, and I did not foster my dislike of cooking out of nowhere. My parents do not enjoy cooking, my sister pretends to enjoy cooking, and I will cook if it is 5 ingredients or less. My latest speciality is a toasted bagel with butter, hummus, and EBTB seasoning. Voila. So when it comes to dinner, we are living off of a carousel of suburban favorites, and are losing steam as we are still not comfortable with dining inside (or dining inside in the city, where the fun food is). 

All of this to say, it’s exciting to imagine what life is going to be like in a few short weeks. While I’m still extra precautionary, I can’t wait to have my own space downtown, where I can enjoy coffee on my little balcony (!!!) and dream of the days friends can come squeeze into my studio safely while I lay out an entire table of sharable spreads and snacks from Ema (Charred Eggplant Spread is the best one, don’t fight me). 

So you may ask, how did you come to this decision to move to the heart of downtown out of seemingly nowhere, you hermit? 

It starts with my mom and I having a brief, simultaneous breakdown and coming to the conclusion that we would both feel comfortable doing a staycation downtown, as long as we wore masks, sanitized always, and braved the cold to eat outside. This was big for me! As a person with real OCD, not cute TV show “I have to keep my pens straight” OCD, this would be the most exposure I’d had to a lot of uncontrollable variables since the pandemic started. If you’re thinking, “you get to spend a weekend downtown in a hotel with your mom, shut up”, know that I hear you. I am unbelievably grateful that I’ve gotten this time with my parents, and that we can do a staycation. However, having anxiety comes at a cost, and that cost is blowing everything way the fuck out of proportion instead of being able to rationalize it sometimes. Let’s! Normalize! Having! This! Discussion!

So, we went downtown in early March for a two-night stay, and oh my goodness. The realization that we got to be in a different space, and do different things, and eat different food for a weekend made it feel like a legit vacation, and not like we drove 30 minutes to get there. The view from our room was of Michigan Ave, and hearing the traffic and seeing the people out and about instantly made me feel a sense of peace I wasn’t expecting. I’ve lived downtown for 6 years, but it always shocks me how much the city feels like an extension of me once I’m in it after being away. My mom and I went out for a walk (gentle yet forceful reminder to please wear a mask), then decided to grab dinner while we were out. The plan was to bring it back to the room, but there was a warm spell, and there just happened to be a table for two at Topolobampo on Clark, and suddenly we were sitting on the patio under the lights eating masa quesadillas dipped in a spicy salsa verde. It just happened!!! 

Before getting downtown, I was tentatively looking at apartments for the spring. I was looking at Lincoln Park, Old Town, maybe Lakeview, and came across a listing in the Gold Cost that caught my eye. That one was swiped out from under me within days, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the area. Then I discovered another unit that was available, and couldn’t shake it from my mind. Over mushroom tacos I discussed it with my mom, and we decided to go see it. Totally not what I had been planning for in terms of location, but why not? 

Once we polished off breakfast the next morning (Eggs Benedict with fried eggs, extra hollandaise) we headed out to see the place. Let me say I have never seen my mom fall in love with a single apartment I’ve lived in, and she was ALL. FOR. IT. Unreal reaction on her part. Once I saw the west-facing views and the incredible natural lighting, I was 100% in as well.

We spent the rest of the weekend wandering the downtown area, enjoying another dinner outside at The Gwen and my mom’s first visit to the Starbucks Reserve Roastery, which was 95% more empty than I’ve ever seen it given we went in a pandemic at 8:30PM. Shit on Starbucks all you want, but that Roastery is an incredible use of space (in non-pandemic times) and the coffee & Princi pastries are really, really good. 

When we got back home feeling refreshed and like we had actually gone on a vacation, I jumped into apartment shark mode real fast and signed as many documents as the very kind realtor could send over. One week later, whabaam, I was a Gold Coast girl. Ahem, *lady*. What better way to celebrate than going to Somerset and having the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread and Wild Mushroom Risotto? No clue. As I sat outside, yet again with my mom, I felt a wave of excitement come over me and realized, this is it. This is the sign and feeling I’ve been waiting for, telling me it’s time to move back to the city and start over. The creamy, herbacious risotto also helped solidify that. 

SO. After all of that, the news is I’m moving, and you’re probably wondering why I shared all of this on a blog about food. I meant for this post to be about everywhere I ate during my staycation, but realized quickly we ate at some very basic places - DELICIOUS, but still basic. Oops. Below are all the dishes I had and a rundown of the flavors, textures, etc., however don’t expect to find any new, revolutionary restaurants. Sorry! 

1. Topolobampo 

This Rick Bayless restaurant has been around forever, and unfortunately, you can tell by the interior. We’ve eaten here as a family a couple of times before, but never had a noteworthy experience. I can confirm that in a pinch, the patio covered in fun lights & mini piñatas, and the sharable, filling bites will do just fine. This was my first time going to a Mexican restaurant as a non-alcohol drinker, and instead of my typical mezcal margarita, I opted for a Fresh Limeaide which was refreshing and flavorful. We split the Guacamole and Chips, which if you’ve ever stopped at the Frontera in O’Hare, you know is good as fuck. It’s smooth, creamy, tangy, and topped with chopped onions and cilantro for a little crunch. It’s not the most life-changing, but it is consistently satisfying. Next, we got the Mushroom Tacos and Masa Quesadillas. The Masa Quesadillas were a fun surprise, as instead of a tortilla, the masa is what makes up the outside. They are almost like empanadas and stuffed with gooey, melty cheese, and come with a spicy salsa verde on the side. I would come back for these alone - they’re rich yet light, warm, and comforting, all the things you would want when dining outside when it’s still a little chilly. The Mushroom Tacos were quite frankly unreal, because whatever they seasoned the mushroom slices with and grilled them on made them taste unlike any mushroom I’ve had before. There was definitely some meat crossover on the grill, so don’t order those if you’re vegan, or ask them to prepare the mushroom separately. I however was LOSING MY MIND. Over mushrooms. The joys of being vegetarian! 

2. The Gwen

On a happening Saturday night in Chicago, Upstairs at The Gwen is sure to be a packed scene. Located in River North, this hotel bar/restaurant offers a somehow cozy rooftop filled with loungey couches, fire pits, and ambient lighting, even though you’re surrounded by apartments and skyscrapers and there is nothing “cozy” about River North. Every table was filled, yet since you’re outside and it’s fairy spread apart, it still felt safe. I got my new classic, a Lemonade, and we got the Burrata to start. With sourdough, roasted beets, squash, pomegranate, pistachio, & arugula, this plate was nothing short of mouth-watering. It has textures! It has flavors! It has pomegranate seeds, the TikTok must have of the moment! The bread was 10/10, the burrata was 8/10, and all of the toppings made for a very find bite of salad on their own. For my main I got the Lobster Fettucine, a beautiful bowl of “charcoal fettuccine with saffron-tomato sauce, lobster, calabrian chili butter, and basil-brioche crumbs” as listed on their website. Take any of those ingredients and it’s going to be delicious, but all of them TOGETHER? INCREDIBLE. The chunks of lobster were huge, absolutely making the dish worth its price tag, and the sauce was flavorful, unique, and unlike any sauce I’ve tasted in the last few years. It’s typical to do a squid ink pasta with seafood and tomato sauce, but the saffron added a new element I very much appreciated. 

3. The Starbucks Roastery 

I KNOW. THIS IS A TOURIST DESTINATION. All I am saying is if there’s no line, go get an iced latte with two packets of sugar in the raw. That’s all. It’s really good after something like, I don’t know, Lobster Fettucine. 

4. The Penninsula 

You cannot go wrong with hitting up The Penninsula for breakfast or brunch, especially if you are staying there and have the option to do room service. Typically we would go to Pierrot Gourmet, the cafe in the ground floor of The Penninsula, however it has been closed temporarily. If there’s one thing to order with your breakfast, it’s the smashed fingerling potatoes. Delish. 

5. Somerset 

Somerset is becoming a quick go-to of mine for an impromptu dinner downtown, given it’s in the heart of Gold Coast and is cute if you’re sitting indoors or outdoors. The food is nothing too innovative, but it is done well, which is the most important part with “cuter” restaurants that may focus on the Instagram appeal over the food sometimes. Each time I’ve gone I’ve gotten the seasonal flatbread and a pasta or risotto, usually something with mushrooms, and it’s always been plate-licking good. To drink, I got -you guessed it- a Lemonade! For dinner I went with the Wild Mushroom Risotto which was everything you could hope for in a risotto, topped with olive oil, herbs, and local parmesan. We split the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread which was as it sounds, flatbread covered in rapini, garlic, and ricotta, which added a nice crunch and had enough rapini to feel like it was replacing a boring vegetable side dish or salad. The patio vibes were wonderful, the judgemental girls in the greenhouses looked like they were having a good time, and our waiter couldn’t have been sweeter. I will be going back to try the Fontina Arancini, which I just noticed on the menu. FRICK. 

So there you have it, a very long-winded explanation of the last few weeks of my life and where you can find me on a staycation in Chicago. Hopefully once I move back to the city I’ll have endless new spots to try and won’t be basic anymore! 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie 

[saltys-writings]

Oneus as Cats

yes I did another one

More parts~

~~~

Ravn:

oh dear

completely black cat with only one tiny white dot on his chest

looks cute, but is full of fury

hates other cats

and I mean he despises them

especially hates anyone who takes away your attention when he’d rather have it

passive-aggressive

usually he will stare at you and wait until you notice him if he wants your attention while you’re occupied with someone else

if you ignore him, he’ll make you (or the other person or animal) regret it

has peed on your mother’s shoes multiple times when she visited you

threw up in front of your dad and then walked away nonchalantly as if nothing happened

all because in his eyes, you spent too much time talking to them when he wanted to be fed or petted or played with

only trusts his owner

you’re the only person who is allowed to touch him whenever

though there are some exceptions of people who are around often so he got used to them and they’re allowed to touch his head or back for a short period of time

loves you more than anything

also loves being petted and brushed by you

hates the vet

will growl at the vet for about five seconds if they touch him until he jumps at them and attempts to scratch the poor vet’s eyes out

since then, he gets anaesthesia even for routine check-ups

likes sleeping next to your pillow with you so he can wake you up in the morning by putting his paw on your face

has never even scratched you on purpose ever (except when you’re playing with him and he gets too into it)

sometimes you see nothing but a pair of wide yellow eyes watching you in the dark in the middle of the night

usually sleeps curled up in a lil black furball, but sometimes he’ll lie around in really weird positions, with his head upside down and his fangs showing

very gentle purring, you can only hear and feel it when you let him curl up in your lap and fall asleep there

Seoho:

completely white fur, except for two black dots above his eyes that look like eyebrows and one black front paw

people will love him for his extraordinary looks, and he loves the attention

however, he doesn’t like to be touched much, especially if he doesn’t know you well

never bites and rarely scratches, usually he just runs away if he doesn’t like something

graceful when he walks, but is actually an idiot

falls off random objects frequently, thankfully he never gets hurt

sleeps in the weirdest positions - his rear legs stretched apart to expose his lower belly, and his torso twisted 180 degrees

snores and drools when sleeping

when he has an exciting dream, his left hind leg twitches

speaking of his belly: he hates having it touched and will whine at you and run away, hiding in some corner for the rest of the day if you try to pet him there

you never see him cleaning himself, but somehow he isn’t dirty

tbh most of the time he just sleeps

but sometimes he wakes up very hyperactive

pls be careful if you play with him then (which is recommended or he’ll use your walls as a cat tree), because chances are he’ll run into something or fall over from how excited he is

sometimes he really seems more like a dog than a cat tbh

bleps a lot

if you take a walk with him in your garden he’ll start digging holes at some point

loves the neighbors’ dog and totally wants to play with it - much to the joy of the dog

again, pls be careful if the dog is big, or this kitty might get himself crushed because he was too busy watching a butterfly instead of the huge dog lying down next to him

if he trusts you he will sometimes come lay in your lap to fall asleep there, and he’ll even enjoy getting his head petted then

but he will drool on you - like a lot

Leedo:

big, loud, annoying

looks like a majestic statue with his thick, long fur when he sits somewhere, completely still except for his slowly swaying tail

greets you loudly when you come home

is especially loud when his food bowl is empty

loves being picked up and will stare up at you and meow until you do so (he’s kinda heavy though)

loves sitting on top of open doors and balances surprisingly well despite his size

sometimes you hear doors loudly slamming shut - that’s when he jumped down and the door closed from the recoil

loves raw meat and will inhale his food if you give him some, but will take a lot longer to finish dry food

likes being scratched under the chin and behind his ears, doesn’t really care to be petted anywhere else, but never ever touch his tail

dislikes kids or overly excited people because in his past he had bad experiences with them

if you’re trying to approach him, always do so carefully, or crouch down and let him come to you, or he will hiss at you and run away

when you first adopted him, he hid away behind the couch for three whole days, and you had to throw him food or he wouldn’t have eaten

very shy around new people, but will get used to you and eventually come to trust you if you give him enough time

loves sleeping on whatever surface you’re trying to do things™

his favorite pastime is rolling around on your keyboard while you’re trying to write someskldfjökajgajq4930t2öjsdgj-asdgja

he also likes playing with the handle of cooking spoons or whatever other kitchen utensil you’re trying to use

will meow loudly if you don’t let him try whatever you’re cooking (even if it’s something he’ll dislike and spit out after chewing on it for a few seconds)

also loves watching clothes in the washing machine and will try to catch the buttons through the glass

snores when in deep sleep

Keonhee:

chubby tabby cat with stripes and huge eyes

white paws, long and fluffy fur

a derp of a cat

constant bleps

put something on his nose and he’ll cross his eyes, staring at it, not moving for up to half a minute

hates the vet (pls save him)

like, whenever you get his box to take him there and you don’t catch him fast enough, he’ll have nyoomed to the farthest corner of your house in the blink of an eye, staring up from a hiding place where nobody can reach him

the only way to get him out of there is to lure him with his favorite food

eats everything and steals the weirdest food, like that one time you were cooking and he stole a tomato from you, having already eaten half of it by the time you could take it away from him - he threw up shortly after that on your carpet

he also likes to steal bread and various other vegetables, and one time you even caught him sticking his nose into a bowl of rice

he goes crazy over poultry and could probably eat a whole turkey within mere minutes, despite not even being half as big as the bird

whines and meows a lot

will wake you up every morning to demand food by meowing loudly and scratching your door

wanting to avoid more scratchmarks on the door, you decided to leave it open a while back

that’s when he woke you up by jumping onto your belly and then getting distracted and starting to play on top of you, claws out and teeth sharpened

since then you’re quite okay with the marks on your door...

has a talent for throwing up furballs in inconvenient places - behind the sofa, on the rug, next to your pillow, on the stove, etc.

but even though he’s weird af, he’s usually a calm kitty who loves sunbaths and belly-rubs more than anything

and food

Hwanwoong:

red stripes and a white belly

very soft fur

super long whiskers

smol and seems cute

is actually a jerk

will come running to you, purring, asking to be petted most of the time when he’s awake

rubs his head and body against your legs with full force, you wouldn’t believe how much strength this lil kitty has

will also beg for food, even if he already had enough for a whole week

however you don’t need to be afraid of overfeeding him, because despite his habit of begging, he’s actually a very picky eater

he loves fish more than anything, and will rarely eat anything else

though he likes popcorn and other snacks that aren’t exactly healthy for cats

he once stole a whole bag of chips and by the time you could catch him, it tore apart and the chips were scattered all over your place

you’re not sure if he ate any of them, but you stressedly put them away in a hurry while he was watching you, purring and treading the ground underneath him

he likes walking on the top shelves in your home, skillfully avoiding any obstacle and careful not to throw anything off

the only time things fall because of him is when he’s pissed about something

then you might come home from an exhausting day and find decorations lying in front of the shelves they’re supposed to be standing on

however, as if nothing happened he will come to greet you, purring, swaying the very end of his tail in a friendly manner

now you better not be tricked by his friendliness, because if you don’t find the reason why he was pissed in the first place and fix it, he will repeat the same procedure the next day

Xion:

a grey cat with really short fur

friendly and very behaved

like he never protest-pees anywhere and isn’t picky about his food, but knows what’s his and what’s his owner’s

will warn you if he doesn’t like being touched atm and will only scratch or bite if you ignore his warnings

bonds well with other cats, dogs, and likes to be around humans too

prefers staying at home and sleeping over strolling through the neighborhood

really he’s the perfect cat and pretty normal

loves sleeping in the dryer when the freshly dried clothes are still inside and warm (but won’t get a lot of hair on them since his fur is so short)

also loves sleeping in your bed, but will move aside when you signal him that you want to sleep

in general he loves warm places and would kill for sunbaths

will sprawl out on the floor when he finds a sunny spot and sleep there

likes watching TV and will try to catch any bird that appears on screen

he’s also very fascinated about fish, and will try to catch those as well if you have an aquarium

but he usually doesn’t have his claws out and will just play with them

if you give him an angry look he’ll immediately get down though and come running to you to rub your legs as a way to apologize

you can teach him simple tricks if you give him fish-flavored snacks as a reward

if you have a fly in your home he will try to catch it, but usually fail because he isn’t really a skilled hunter, as he barely gets any serious practice

doesn’t really like playing much, but sometimes he needs to let out his energy

that’s when he starts playing with your clothes, especially if you’re wearing something baggy or something that has strings or the like attached

but usually you’ll just see him sleeping or chilling somewhere

cleans himself very thoroughly and the procedure will usually take him an hour or more a day

[starrybbarnes]

into the heat [b.b]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: it’s taco tuesday. you make some salsa. your friends can’t hang, and apparently, neither can your boyfriend.

Word Count: 1473

Author’s note: I had some tacos on sunday and my god, la salsa verde was to d i e for. it was so good, I swear. I’m just salivating at the thought of tacos and green salsa, with some lime on top. I think I might buy some for work later today. as always, feedback is appreciated!

Warnings: definitely some swearing, food mention so don’t read while on an empty stomach 

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon back at the compound. It was lunchtime and it meant only one thing: Taco Tuesday.

The team has done taco Tuesday before you came on board, but it would just consist of Stark buying 2 boxes of the Taco Bell party pack and would call it a day. It was a disgrace. 

You remember the first time you joined the Avengers for taco Tuesday. You were deceived when Thor said, “it’s the best Midguardian food I’ve ever tasted.” 

Oh, how you missed eating your grilled serrano pepper that day. 

You remembered you offered to make some street tacos about a month later, and boy, did everyone’s mind explode. Savory meats, fresh limones, and decadent salsas would line the kitchen table every time on Tuesday. The Avengers would have more than seconds almost every week. 

Not only that but with your cooking (in general), you won your way through a super soldier’s heart. “It’s the easiest way to trap a man,” Natasha would joke around with you.

You have been dating Bucky for over a year now, and he’s wedged himself in helping you during taco Tuesdays. Whether it be chopping the cilantro and onions, heating up las tortillas, or going to the farmers market early in the morning, Bucky enjoyed that time with you.

There were only two things, however, that your Bucky wouldn’t touch on Taco Tuesdays. That was the meat preparation and salsa making. Sure, Bucky would choose the cuts of meat and the freshest peppers and cilantro, but when it came down to actually cooking it, it was none of his business.

“I simply cannot trust a white man to season their food,” you simply said over the table one time. 

“But you’ve seen me add actual seasoning and flavors to other dishes?” Bucky argued. 

“Bucky please,” you interjected, “my trust has been severed ever since that Niall celebrity didn’t season his chicken. An absolute catastrophe.” 

Since then, no one has argued on that topic. It was a part of the routine that you called yours. 

When it came to the nitty-gritty, everyone seemed to enjoy the fact that you’d make a savory taco, with some mild but delicious salsas. 

However, the one dish you missed making was your signature spicy avocado salsa. Since no one in this compound can handle the flavor, you’d always send Bucky to go to the nearest taco truck and ask for a small serving of it to take home to you. You’d always remember to tip the workers for all that they do, and you’ve actually exchanged recipes. 

Today, you decided to make your favorite salsa. 

It was 12 noon, and you knew Bucky was well underway getting the ingredients for the tacos. You called him and let him know to add avocados, fresh jalapeños, and some green husk tomatoes. You also mentioned to not bring any avocado salsa today, but to pay the truck a visit.

“Uh, Y/N?” Bucky started, “are you not gonna have salsa with your tacos?”

“I am,” you slowly said, “but I’m kinda wanting to have some more kick in my life.”

“All you had to do was ask, doll,” Bucky chuckled through the phone.

“Oh no, Buck,” you laughed, “We’re talking me crying while eating a taco typa kick.”

“Just don’t kill anyone, okay?” Bucky replied, half-joking, half actually being serious.

“No promises,” you sang.

。。

Smells of meat and cilantro swirled the kitchen and made its way into the common room, signaling that food was almost ready. Bucky was helping you chop up the meat while you were heating up tortillas on the comal. 

One by one, the team started filing into the dining area, words of praises and absolute delight that their favorite day of the week has finally arrived. 

You set the garnishes and red and green on the main table. From the fridge, you pulled out a bowl of the almost neon green substance and placed it on the table. 

The avocado salsa. 

The team ooo’ed at how bright green the salsa was as if giving off a warning. 

“Whoa!” an eager Sam yelled in amazing, “the food looks amazing! I’m really banking on the fact that you made the food instead of ol’ Chef Boyardee over here” 

You started giggling as Bucky attempted to throw a piece of meat at Sam, only for him to catch it in his mouth. 

“Well, he was a big help, but rest assured, Sam I was in charge of the cooking,” you replied as everyone started serving themselves.

Once everyone was seated, people dug in, only the sounds of content would be heard. You grabbed your bowl of avocado salsa and put a helping on each taco that was on your plate. 

Sam saw what you were doing and spoke up, “what is that green stuff, Y/N? It smells really good and looks amazing.”

You hesitated a bit before you answered, “it’s guacamole. I know it doesn’t look like your standard one, but that’s because I added some extra stuff.” 

Sam signaled for the bowl and you passed it over to him. Seeing you eat the tacos with ease, he decided to put even more salsa on his helping of tacos. You eyed him carefully, awaiting a reaction.

“Wow!” Sam exclaimed, “This is so good! I think I’ll eat spoonfuls of this stuff!”

You were about to feel left down when you saw it happening. Sam started coughing profusely and started sticking out his tongue. He started signaling for water and when you handed him the large cup, he downed it in 5 seconds flat.

“What in the fuck is in the god damn guac!” Sam hollered. “I think I am about to pass out.”

“Not much really,” you stated, “some lime juice, avocado, green tomatoes, 2 jalapeños, maybe half a serrano paper?”

“Two??” Sam yelled, “do you want me to DIE?”

“Sam,” you started, “I think you’re overreacting.”

“Your tacos were practically bathing in the salsa,” Sam argued.

“Psh, it can’t be that bad,” Thor commented.

“Would you like to try some, Thor?” you offered sweetly. 

Now everyone was looking at Thor. Slowly, he gulped and poured some on a taco. As he ate it, he did the same reaction as Sam. Absolute delight, and then his life flashing before his eyes.

Before long everyone tried to get their hands on the salsa. Steve stopped everyone and said, “I think as super soldiers, Bucky and I should try it out. Maybe Sam is overreacting.”

When Bucky heard his name, he choked on his drink. “No way man. You know I don’t mess with m’girls food.”

“Oh lighten up,” Steve assured him, “We probably won’t feel a thing.”

You snickered. You knew for a fact that Steve would start tearing up at just eating Hot Cheetos. 

Bucky looked at you with his puppy eyes. He was trying to get out of it, and fast. He saw you when you added the peppers into the blender. Even the times he’s seen you eat raw peppers, it freaked him out that you’d never elicit a reaction. 

“C’mon sweetheart,” you pouted, “just one bite. I swear it’s not spicy.” 

Bucky sighed and put a helping of salsa on his taco, Steve trying so hard to put the same amount if not less.

They saluted each other and bit into their taco. Bucky actually finished the whole thing, triumphant smile now apparent. Steve slowly finished his and sighed in relief.

“Well ya look at that,” Bucky laughed, “Looks like I still am a super-soldier.”

“Give it a minute.” 

Steve was the first to start coughing. “Oh my god, my mouth is on FIRE!” 

Bucky soon after followed, eyes welling up and his sinuses going haywire. Steve actually started crying, just repeating ‘so spicy’ over and over again.

“Doll, if I die right here, just know that I love you very much,” Bucky cried out. 

You handed Bucky a slice of bread, “eat this, you’ll live.”

The team concluded that you were a goddess amongst them because apparently, you can’t feel the heat. 

You rubbed Bucky’s back as he slowly started to feel better.

“I just don’t get it,” you sighed, “this stuff tastes really good. And I only put a little bit this time!”

Bucky just groaned in response, “well, this is one thing I won’t be stealing from the fridge.” 

“Then maybe, just maybe, my planned worked,” you joked, earning a smile from Bucky.

You kissed him on the lips and then scowled, “Jesus, Buck even your lips are on fire!”

“What can I say, I’m attracted to heat,” Bucky answered, panting ever so slightly.

“Maybe one of these days, you’ll be able to handle it,” you joked, eating one more of your man-catching tacos doused in your salsa. 

。。

i made myself hungry just writing this bahaha

translations:

Limones = lemons

comal = skillet/griddle

[loulougoingsolo]

“You know you’re after tang”

I love salads. In fact, a bowl of fresh salad is probably my favourite thing to eat for lunch - or dinner. I’ve always been baffled by some vegetarians who say they don’t like vegetables that much, and rarely eat salad, because it’s like the best thing there is. Of course, just how tasty and enjoyable a salad is, comes often down to the dressing.

I’ve been on all kinds of diets for half of my life, and at one point, I did try to find a consumable light salad dressing. The ones I tried only succeesed in making me eat less salad, and once I learned that the vegetable oils in dressings are actually healthy in moderate amounts, I just decided never to buy a light dressing again. If I want to keep things light, I’ll just use balsamic vinegar, but 99 percent of the time, my go-to dressing is an off brand garlic dressing, which I love.

But, in the name of science, today’s GMM is all about tasting regular and light dressings, in order to find out, if it’s ever worth while to go light.

The first dressing to test out is caesar. My personal opinion is that regardless of the fat content, caesar should not be a thing. I once accidentally tried caesar dressing, having already been vegetarian for over a decade, and I thought I was being poisoned. If you want to eat fish (anchovies), put it on the salad, not the dressing. Or, at least, label it so that an ignorant peasant girl like me understands, that it contains fish (yeah, I was a lil’ traumatized).

After a gentle dink, we find out that even Rhett thinks the anchovy taste is off-putting. I’d happily build an entire deck if that meant I’d never have to eat caesar salad again (besides, building decks is fun).

I don’t usually go for ranch dressing unless it’s the only one available, but my initial thought is reducing the fat of ranch will severly impact the flavour, and no surprise, that is the case according to Rhett and Link. And since the serial killer is going to catch me sooner or later regardless of which dressing I choose, there’s really no point in eating healthy in this scenario, right? Instead of running, I’ll just finish my salad and accept my faith. And since I’m already dying, I can even eat the raw carrots which I can’t normally digest. It’s a win-win!

Ah, Thousand Island brings back memories. For some reason, back in the old days, garlic dressing was never an option anywhere. At home, we had a mustard dressing (which I didn’t like), and something else, and usually, that something else was Thousand Island. It seemed like an ok dressing as a kid, but nowadays, it just tastes like tomatoes to me. And kinda bland. But what is a protein style turkey burger? Is that a no bun burger? (Why do I want a burger now?) Does Link have a sixth sense to instantly finding even a hidden slice of tomato?

It would probably take me 35 minutes to fold just one origami crane, but if Rhett ends up starting his own Pinterest account of just folding paper, I’ll follow that.

Nicole is really trying to push Link into eating tomatoes, apparently. There are quite a few of them in the salads for the Italian dressing round. I’ve definately tried a fat free version of an Italian dressing, and that is possibly the saddest thing ever. When a dressing is mostly vinegar and oil, if you remove the oil, there’s very little left to enjoy. And many spices require the fatty part to taste right. No wonder the light version lacked layers. And I have only fond memories of cooking with my grandma, so I’m happy to work out the extra calories in the kitchen. Besides, a good experience in life needs to have a bottom and a top (and everything in between).

I hate blue cheese, so you know what my opinion of blue cheese dressing is, but man, does Link have an efficient way of eating a chicken wing! That is some engineering degree level skill, and it leaves more time for cracking some slightly inappropriate jokes.

In More we get more ranch, and it seems that identifying ranch flavours might be Link’s hidden talent. Nicole’s hidden talent is her ability to throw the ranch bottles with perfection, and for some reason, the guys are really good at catching them. My primitive reaction to someone throwing anything at me is to close my eyes and take cover, and I’m also very bad a throwing things, so all this baffles me.

But now it’s time for me to go and fix myself a salad, because it’s past lunchtime here, so I’m going to end this post with this short exchange between Rhett and Link from GMMore, because it made me giggle:

Link: “Did you just eat that?”

Rhett: “Yeah.”

Link: “You ate it without me.”

Rhett: “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ate it without you.”

Link: “Is this good to you? Because it’s not good to me.”

Oh, and one more question: Can you buy Viagra at a gas station in the US? And how did Link get to that idea from tasting ranch dressings?

[underthemoon-and-stars]

Our Golden Rule ( Bucky X Reader )

Summary: You know that you’re no superhero, but dating one makes you feel like you can fly. That is, until he broke something, leaving you with a broken heart.

Note: I was heavily inspired by @softlybarnes story “gentle” so thanks for being such a good writer dear!! This was also written for our very own BatQueen, as she wasn’t feeling so swell at the time of writing. This is for you love!!

Warnings; fluff than angst than fluff!

-Selenophile

———————————————————

The night was cool. Not too humid, not too moist. Perfect weather for a Saturday in New York. Sparse lightbulbs hung from the night’s navy ceiling. The ones that were visible to naked eye flickered to the beat of a heart. Window watchers gazed upon the streets of Manhattan, watching drunks become expelled from the lips of exhausted bars. Some kept an eye out for their little rebels who were out past curfew. Others just wanted to make sure their neighbors arrived home safely. NYC is truly the city that never sleeps. Y/N can attest to that.

The toilet flushed with a fight. Icky green-colored vomit made its way down the drain. Usual contemplation of what actually happened to this disgusting bowel reaction would start right after the obnoxiously long flush, but tonight just wanst the night. Y/N had been throwing up all week. That thinking session was the least of her worries.

At first, she thought it was food poising from her job’s first annual Sushi Festival. A quick trip to the physician proved to be a waste of time. Her doctor eliminated food poisoning, as well as fever and pre-period sickness. She knew it wasn’t pregnancy as she hasn’t had sex for a while. But that was when it all hit her. She hasn’t seen Bucky in a while.

3 weeks to be exact. Slowly creeping to 4.

Hot, icky liquid ran up her throat again. The sink would have to do sadly. Body flipped 90° and ejected the gross reaction from the poor girl’s esophagus. Breaths felt heavier than normal. Her head felt heavier than a 18 wheeler. Y/N somehow managed to roll her hefty head off to the side. The water rushed down from the mouth of the faucet to clear out the vomit.

“H-hey, it’s kinda t-throwing up too” Y/N stuttered, followed by a sad chuckle.

Sadly, it slowly started coming together. This sickness was a side effect of missing Bucky.

The throw up. The sleeping trouble. The paranoid thoughts and cognitive disorientation. All because Bucky-

Bucky broke the golden rule.

It was a story come straight from a fairy tale. Y/N was taking her 30 minute lunch break in Central Park. Tiny feet carried that small body all across the park. She even decided to stop by the zoo. Red Pandas were her favorite animal, so playful and cute! When she arrived, she found someone cutier than a Red Panda.

Y/N knew his name from the papers. Winter Soilder. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. Sometimes they’d call him Bucky, but more often it was an american disgrace. She couldn’t stop staring at the man. He turned his head slightly, totally catching her in the act.

“They say staring isn’t nice, yknow” His already deep and smokey voice had a very serious tone to it.

Y/N’s face morphed into a tomato “S-sorry...you’re-“

“A monster? A freakish killer? Dangerous and savage? Say whatever, I heard it all”

“-very pretty in person”

Y/N watched crimson rise on his cheeks as he chuckled softly. “You think?”

She couldn’t help but nod.

The only thing killer about him was his smile. It was really more of a sly smirk. It didn’t matter, it still sent her heart racing, her stomach flipping.

“What’s ya name pretty girl?” He asked, his tone more friendly.

“Y/N, I-it’s nice to meet you” She told him shyly.

“Pleasure is all mine. Just call me Bucky.”

They then spent the rest of Y/N’s break watching the red pandas. Shutting up was not an option for them. Even when parents told them to be more quiet, Bucky would crack a joke and Y/N would burst out in her happy laugh. At the end, they traded numbers and went out on their first date a week later.

She remembered how precious he looked. Those beautiful brown locks were slicked back, leaving his beautiful blue spheres of mystery open for viewing. That white shirt clung to his body tightly, leaving nothing to the imagination. Bucky was still nervous about going out, so they enjoyed a lovely night in at Y/N’s apartment. They ate, watched tv, and even danced to soft music from the 40s.

“You’re a cheeseball, Bucky Barnes” She remembers telling him.

“You agreed to it, I guess were equal”

In the span of two weeks, the two went on four more dates. Simple hangouts, but it made them happier to call them dates. A week later, Bucky moved in. SHIELD was in the midst of relocating their newly hired superhero. Bucky had no where to go, so Y/N joyously gave him a home. Only one condition, Y/N could officially declared them “a thing”

“A thing?” He asked her, shoving a case under their bed.

“Well youre not technically my boyfriend yet, but you’re not just a friend. A thing is basically dating”

His laugh lightened up the room. “You millennials and your weird terminology”

With a simple shrug, she shot him a smile and helped him with his boxes.

Those weeks became months. Things were going so well between the two of them. Bucky welded up the courage and asked if they could be boyfriend/girlfriend, and Y/N managed to be more brave and agree.

“Oh you just made me the happiest man alive, Y/N”

“You’re such a dork!!”

She giggled as her feet forgot what the floor felt like. Bucky behelded her like a young Simba.

Being in a relationship with a superhero made Y/N feel like she had all the power in the world. When she held his hand, kissed him gently ( by the way, their first kiss was magical. They were watching tv when Y/N snickered “wish someone would kiss me like that”. This of course prompted Bucky to trap her soft plush lips in his cracked, plump ones. It lasted a while, and she was speechless at the end ) or snuggled into his chest she felt like they were the most powerful couple alive.

Sadly, since Bucky was a superhero, he had missions to go on. At first, they’d last only 3-4 days. Y/N was okay with that. Once he came through the apartment door she’s kiss him until those precious lips were raw.

Then it became a week. Y/N would go a little further. He’d come home and she’d jump on top of him, full blown making out with him.

Once it became two weeks, she allowed him to her body. He took her virginity quicker than a kid who was sneaking a cookie. They snuggled up together, panting heavily. Their skin stuck together.

“Hey, Princess....” Bucky mumbled to her

“Y-yeah?”

“I love you”

Y/N gasped louder than she ever did before. Her body started shaking again, her face was bright red.

“I-I love you too” she mumbled back.

He stayed around for the next few days and went away for 2 weeks. That became routine for a while. Go away for 2 weeks, stay for a few days. He couldn’t make it home in time for your one year with this new schedule.

Bucky came home all bruised up and broken a day after though. Y/N lead him to the bathroom. Gently, she rolled her thumb over his face scrapes to remove the blood. He looked up at her, his once happy blue eyes seemed to be more exhausted

“Doll, I-“

“Bucky, you don’t need to explain. I understand”

“No, I missed our anniversary just to save a ungrateful world! I couldn’t even get you anything because I was too busy being beat up!”

Y/N rested a finger over his lips. He sighed softly, kissing her slim finger.

“James Buchanan Barnes, this world needs you. And I’m happy you’re out there saving the world. I truly am! I hate seeing you like this but you’re saving people. And I love you for that my dear!

Bucky looked down. His weary body fell into Y/N’s. She smiled weakly, running her fingers through his hair.

“How could I feel like I hero when I’m not one to my girl”

“I never said that silly boy. You are my hero”

“I’m barely here. I’m a disgraceful hero if any”

The both of you fell in silence. The New York City cars zoomed down the road. Beeps and honks. Screeches and screams of angry cars.

“Let’s make a golden rule” Y/N said softly

Bucky looked up at her. “What’s that sweetheart?”

“You can’t be out longer than 2 weeks. Once you come home, you stay home for a week. And you can tell the SHIELD boys up there I said so”

He laughed softly “I like you’re moxy love. It’s a deal. It’s our golden rule.”

And she couldn’t believe he just broke it. Gone for a month. No contact. No visits from SHIELD. nothing. Not a peep.

Her stomach thrashed around in her body. Vomit fought its way up. She swallowed it quiet bravely. She couldn’t believe he broke it.

Y/N was beyond heartbroken. Now tears roll down her soft cheeks. She ripped off the shirt given to her by the man who left her alone and broke the rule. She sat on the empty bed stripped to just a tank top and underwhere. She sobbed harder. Her body fought between anger and blaming.

Y/N couldn’t believe what was happening.

Did he leave her? Did he move on? Did he find another girl that didn’t demand him to be here at least once a week? Maybe he found a girl who could please him better then she ever could?

Hours passed. She couldn’t get Bucky off his mind. It only made her sicker. Y/N has never felt this sick before. She didn’t even realize it was already dawn.

The bedroom door creaked open. That handsome man ( well at this time Y/N didn’t think he was ) walked in.

Bucky’s eyes widen at the sight of you.

“Shit” He mumbled

“What the fuck happened to the golden rule asshole???” Y/N screamed. She couldn’t even help it at this point. Bucky couldn’t just easily be forgiven. “I MADE that rule for you because you wanted to be with me more !!! Now here you are, running around for a month not texting me a single word and just expect me to be happy you’re home??”

“Y/N...”

“No James I’m speaking!!!”

He cringed hearing his name.

“I am completely heartbroken....you said you’d never hurt me well guess what! You did! I have been sick non-stop, I can’t even think straight. I don’t even remember the last time I slept properly!! I was even contemplating burning everything you gave me to me!!”

Bucky stood there motionless. He listened to you.

“Where have you been asshole?? It better be a good fucking explaina-“

The boy went down on one knee. Y/N’s eyes widen and she gasped louder then she ever did before. Even louder than when Bucky confessed his love.

“Y/N...I am so so sorry. You know I would never intentionally break the rule. This mission changed me. I watched my life flash before my eyes, and I realized how I spent most of it without my perfect girl. I quit the superhero business. I went around the world looking for the perfect ring. And I found it”

He opened the box slowly to reveal the cutest ring. The band, decorated like a red panda. Y/N fell to her knees, covering her face.

“O-oh B-Bucky...”

“My true love, I am so sorry for causing you pain. But I’m here with you forever and always. Will you marry me?”

Y/N sniffled and collapsed into his arms.

“Yes, yes I will”

Bucky lifted up her face and moved into the perfect puzzle piece of her lips. His big hands rubbed her cheeks. Y/N relaxed. Her stomach relaxed. Every part of her body relaxed.

“I love you so much my little red panda”

She giggled weakly “I love you more my big red panda”

“Cheeseball”

“Shut up and kiss me again so I don’t have to yell”

Bucky chuckled “with pleasure”

Send all suggestions to the Inbox! 💌

Tags:

@birdandrose

[thevintagebluebird]

Unpinned - Ratatouille

Wow. I imagine that after ten months everyone is REALLY FUCKING EXCITED to see how my ratatouille experiment turned out, right? Right?! (And if anyone thinks I can spell ‘ratatouille’ without glancing up at the open recipe tab you are sadly mistaken). Anyway. A lot has happened in ten months! Since last April I’ve started a garden in my community plot (after eight years on the waitlist), gone to two weddings and two book fairs, taken on about three other people’s worth of job responsibilities at work, and oh! Got engaged! Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth, but finally nabbing myself a hunky fiancé threw everything into a whirlwind of planning (ironically, he also had an eight year waitlist :P). But a venue is booked, a dj is hired, hair and makeup will be wrangled, and now it’s late winter and I’ve got a lot more free time on my hands to bore you all to death with my cooking disasters. So without further ado:

Ratatouille! From the folks who brought you those kind-of-annoying-but-also-addicting-to-watch cooking videos you see on facebook all the time, Tasty!

Verdict: Is the Pintrest photo complete bullshit? - Yup. Because they make you think your mountain of veggies is just gonna like FIT in the pan. Lies.

Is it crazy expensive/time consuming/confusing? - No! It’s literally just a bunch of sliced vegetables lined up and made hot.

Does it taste good? - All I could think as I ate it was ‘this is fine’.

Ratatouille

Ingredients

VEGGIES

2 eggplants

6 roma tomatoes

2 yellow squashes

2 zucchinis

SAUCE

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 red bell pepper, diced

1 yellow bell pepper, diced

salt, to taste

pepper, to taste

28 oz can of crushed tomatoes

2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil, from 8-10 leaves

HERB SEASONING

2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil, from 8-10 leaves

1 teaspoon garlic, minced

2 tablespoons Chopped fresh parsley

2 teaspoons fresh thyme

salt, to taste

pepper, to taste

4 tablespoons olive oil

Preparation

Preheat the oven for 375˚F (190˚C).

Slice the eggplant, tomatoes, squash, and zucchini into approximately ¹⁄₁₆-inch (1-mm) rounds, then set aside.

Make the sauce: Heat the olive oil in a 12-inch (30-cm) oven-safe pan over medium-high heat. Sauté the onion, garlic, and bell peppers until soft, about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, then add the crushed tomatoes. Stir until the ingredients are fully incorporated. Remove from heat, then add the basil. Stir once more, then smooth the surface of the sauce with a spatula.

Arrange the sliced veggies in alternating patterns, (for example, eggplant, tomato, squash, zucchini) on top of the sauce from the outer edge to the middle of the pan. Season with salt and pepper.

Make the herb seasoning: In a small bowl, mix together the basil, garlic, parsley, thyme, salt, pepper, and olive oil. Spoon the herb seasoning over the vegetables.

Cover the pan with foil and bake for 40 minutes. Uncover, then bake for another 20 minutes, until the vegetables are softened.

Serve while hot as a main dish or side. The ratatouille is also excellent the next day–cover with foil and reheat in a 350˚F (180˚C) oven for 15 minutes, or simply microwave to desired temperature.

Enjoy!

Yeah that last step is a bit of a stretch. Let’s explore why, shall we?

Well FIRST off the company couldn’t have been better! Back from wandering the wide world, it’s the lovely Melanie from our adventure with zoodles! She recently co-authored a guidebook to Florence and if you want to feel like you’re chatting with your bestie about the inside info for your trip to Italy, her book is all you need :) I was very excited to have her help tackling this heavyweight of the vegetable culinary world.

Here’s what we started with! ‘But Rew!’ you may ask (if you knew me and were sitting next to me) - ‘what’s with all the potatoes?!’ And I’d look at you knowingly, because I get that question a lot. This time I actually have an answer. We were hosting a few other friends, and in order to make sure there was plenty of vegetable goodness to go around, I brilliantly decided that the ratatouille should be served ON POTATOES. Because who doesn’t think of plain baked potatoes going alongside one of France’s best known dishes?

(It was a horrible idea, btw)

The lovely Melanie, starting the endless task of chopping a bajillion vegetables. They never ended - because not only does the ratatouille itself require a metric fuckton of vegetables SO DOES THE SAUCE.

This is not in the recipe but we needed the potatoes to not be raw so I chucked them in the oven.

What’s with the horrible face? Why I’m nearly thirty agonizing seconds into chopping onions, of course! Seriously, I used to get laughed out of the kitchen by my coworkers when I worked in a restaurant and got onion-chopping duty. I’d run wailing out of the back door with tears streaming down my face.  

Proof: I could not take a steady photo of the onions, I was crying so hard.

MOAR VEGETABLES

Ooooh, starting to look like something! These were all the bits for the sauce. I think. I don’t remember the details it was like ten months ago.

The eggplant was the toughest one to cut thin, mainly because our knives could desperately use a sharpening. Starting to run out of plate space for the raw stuff!

Canned tomatoes added! Now we have a pan overflowing with sauce.

Oh okay so now we add two plates worth of vegetables to the overflowing pan? I grow concerned.

Let’s just build a vegetable pyramid! Whatever! What could go wrong?! (Spoiler alert: it took over an hour of scrubbing to clean all the burned vegetable goo off the bottom of my oven).

Post oven! They shrank a tiny bit but this pan is still aggressively full. Good thing we’ve got a full table!

And my worst ‘plated’ shot to date as I forgot to take a picture of the final result before handing them out! These cute mugs are way better anyway :)

Final final verdict: With the potatoes they were…strange. It wasn’t a great pairing - probably just thin pasta or polenta would be better. And I clearly need a bigger cast iron pan. But I might try it again if I found myself with a plethora of veggies!

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 25

Hey Everyone!

Wow. Chapter 25.  I started this story as a response to a writing prompt, and it has just escalated so quickly from there.  I am super grateful for everyone who has joined the ride.  Don’t worry, this isn’t the end yet.  I hope to keep writing until they reach the new planet, so no idea how long the entire story will be.

This chapter is kicking the drama up a notch, and was beta’d by the lovely @parisconstantine, who rated it a full “Dun-dun-DUHHHHH!” on the drama scale.  Hope you all enjoy!

The next day, I ended up visiting my sister where she was holed up, still in bed.  “I’m sorry to break this to you, but you smell awful, Tych,” I told her once I sat down at the foot of her futon.

She flung her arm as she rolled over, groaning. “I’m not even surprised.  I felt like I was on fire yesterday.  I may have sweated more than I drank.”  She gestured at the small pile of empty water bottles next to her.  “Food was right out.  I was too tired from burning up to eat, and hot liquids were not happening.  My veins were on fire, I swear.”

“Did you take anything?” I asked, worried.  The only time I had seen her like this was during a really dark period, just after we started speaking again Before.

“Just acetaminophen and ibuprofen, I swear.”

“I believe you,” I reassure her.  “I was just checking in case someone gave you the wrong thing for a headache, thinking it would help.”

“Nuh uh,” she muttered.  “I know I get sick from some stuff, so I just asked for the lowest thing I could think of. No clue what set it off.  But I’m fine now, just worn out.”

“You hungry?” I asked. “I have savory grits and chorizo. Well, sorta-chorizo.”

She propped herself up, squinting. “Who the hell asked for grits and chorizo?  It was Japanese food last I knew.”

“I don’t know, but I thank them heartily,” I chuckled.  “Yesterday was vegetarian food, which was delicious but I was very glad kinda-eggs were on the menu for breakfast.  I also have a vanilla protein shake with an entire cup of black coffee added, if food is too much for you right now.”

“Gimme both,” she grumbled, making grabby-hands.  After a slurp of the coffee-protein concoction I handed her, she attacked her food with a delicacy that belied how hungry she clearly was.  I contented myself with the second coffee-protein shake I brought while she quickly ate the first solid food she had in two days.  When she finished, she washed it down with the last of her water before gulping her caffeinated protein shake again.  “Have I missed anything?” she gasped after chugging half the shake.

“Not really,” I crushed the urge to laugh. “Everyone is exhausted and grouchy, we’re on our fourth planetary satellite trying to get what we need to fix the sensors.  So far, we have less than a third of what we need, and after this satellite we will need to relocate from Eenie to Meenie.”

“Okay, but what aren’t you telling me?”

“You know about the sabotage, right?” She nodded. “Derek and Zach are working like madmen to figure out who hacked the system.”

“I thought it was just a smash job? Wreck everything?”

“Yeah, but it was apparently planned in advance.  Whoever did it made sure to take down the sensors from every public area to the storage bay from an hour and a half before until just before Huynh and Noah went to get the backups.  In five-minute intervals, no less, so the sensor data we have is useless.  Which also means that this was certainly deliberate, if we had any doubts remaining.” I rubbed my neck and twisted it.

Tyche caught the gesture and furrowed her brows. “Stress migraines?” she asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” I huffed.  “They happen. I’d be more surprised if I didn’t have one, honestly.  I’m doped up enough to keep it to a dull roar, so I’m good to soldier on.”

“You know you don’t have to do that right? Not anymore?  Everything going on is out of your jurisdiction.  You can rest.”

“I know, I know, but the Council agreed that we need to make regular updates to keep the rest of the ship as up to date as we can on the situation, try to keep everyone calm.  We’re worried it’ll be like the End riots all over again.  The biggest factor then was a lack of information, so we want to keep everyone in the loop.”

“Including the sabotage?” she asked skeptically.

“Not that,” I shook my head.  “It would defeat the purpose.  People would start being suspicious of their neighbors all over again, and we just got past that.  As soon as the investigation is over, we’ll release everything, but not until then unless we absolutely have to.”

“What’s going to happen to them?” she whispered.

“Who?”

“Whoever did it.”

I sighed heavily. “I honestly don’t know.  We are woefully unprepared for this.  The humans on board this ship are supposed to represent the best of us that were left.  The brave, the kind, the brilliant.  I feel like we’re supposed to be proving that we are worth this entire effort of being saved by Noah’s people, and the idea that someone would do this….it feels like a huge betrayal of us all.” I shook my head again. “Anyways, we gotta find them before we can even figure out what to do about it, so we have a little bit of time to think on it.”

“A Darwin award should be involved,” she mused. When I scowled, she just laughed ruefully. “What!? They could have killed everyone on board, including themselves, with that stunt. Between that and the fact that what’s left of us on Earth won’t make it more than a couple of generations, they could have single-handedly ended humanity, just like that,” she snapped her fingers for emphasis.

Ice ran down my spine, making me shiver.  “I have been fervently avoiding that thought, thank you.  All this shit we did in our history, including inventing planet-busting weapons before we made it to the moon, and all it would have taken is one person with who-knows-what motivation to make us all just less than a footnote in galactic history.”  I finished my shake to brace myself before standing up.  “I’m heading back to the ‘bridge’.  Grab a shower and join us when you’re ready.  Antoine has been lost as to what to do with himself.”

She waved her hand vaguely. “Okay, okay.  I get it.  Meet you there.”

Back on the area we had dubbed the ‘bridge’ – the main room of Level One – I did my standard checks with my fellow Councillors, looking for updates.  To my chagrin, they had nothing for me, so I couldn’t even send out a ship-wide update.  Resigning myself to doing nothing until something changed, I snagged a plate of snacks and a server of juice before hunting down Arantxa.

“Have you heard anything from Derek or Zach?” I asked quietly.

She shook her head. “They haven’t found anything yet, but they both promised to tell me as soon as they do.”

“Why you?” I asked, curious. “Wouldn’t they tell Xiomara, or her aide?”

“Usually, yes,” she tilted her head in agreement. “However, Xiomara’s aide is one of the drone pilots, and so is Pranav’s.  Xiomara is keeping an eye on the pilot teams, making sure they rotate when they should and keeping Maverick from interfering with them until we need to move to Meenie.  So I volunteered, since you don’t really have anything for me to do.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” I admitted.  “As bored as I am right now, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.”

“Eh,” she made a gesture of dismissal.  “I’m still managing the food as it comes and goes, and making sure we have sleeping space and showers sorted.  The things I would normally do.  Although, I think you should take over deciding the menus,” she wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I’m doing the best job on that, honestly.”

“You decided on the chorizo?  That was inspired, believe me,” I chucked. “Although I have to admit, the all vegetarian options, all day yesterday, was probably not the best call.  You do realize that all the meat is synthesized from raw protein, right?”

“That did not occur to me until later,” she confessed.  “Not to mention I realized I have a very limited knowledge of vegetarian dishes.”

I patted her hand consolingly.  “Tell you what, I’ll grab you when I make up the menu for tomorrow so you can pick up a few pointers, okay?”

“Thank you,” she sighed.  “I just learned to cook.  Trying to decide what nearly one hundred people would be eating each day was – what is it, biting off more than I can chew?”

“Yep, that would be it,” I confirmed. “Usually, when you have to do something like that, someone shows you the first few times until you get the idea.  So, let’s back up to that part, okay?”

“Gladly.”

“Gladly what?” my sister asked as she sat down.

Arantxa laughed and gestured to me. “My wonderful friend and boss here just agreed to take over the menu for the food brought in, and is going to show me how to do it.”

When Tyche quirked and eyebrow, I clarified.  “Apparently, Arantxa is responsible for both the chorizo this morning and the vegetarian nightmare yesterday.”

“Hey, vegetarian food isn’t that bad!” my sister tried to defend our companion.

“It is when you aren’t very familiar with cuisine,” Arantxa admitted sheepishly.

“Oh. Ohhh.  Ew.” My sister wrinkled her nose, setting off more laughter. While I was trying to pull myself together, she finished off my juice.  “Mmm.  What’s that?”

“Pinkish?” I shrugged, still giggling.  “I thought it was grapefruit, but it wasn’t.  Tasted good, though, so I didn’t mind.”

“Tomato and orange virgin sangria,” Arantxa explained.  “One of the drone pilots requested it.”

“So, gotta get that recipe,” I mused as Tyche went to refill my glass and get her own.  Once she was back, I brought Tyche up to date on Arantxa’s missed date with Conor for lack of anything else to do.  Arantxa let us know that she had been sending Conor messages back and forth, and that she finally made sure to tell Conor she hoped she could reschedule their date. We were so engrossed in the developments between two of our favorite people that I barely noticed my sister scratching at her arms.

Suddenly, Tyche sat bolt upright, her face pale, before she reached over and knocked my drink out of my hand, shattering the glass on the floor. “Don’t eat or drink anything!” she shouted, standing up.  “Something is spiked!”

“What are you talking about!?” I cried, swiping uselessly at the juice now covering my clothes.

“Vicodin,” she hissed.  “We both have bad reactions to Vicodin, Soph. My veins are on fire, and you’ve had a migraine since after the food started coming in, right?  Doesn’t get better no matter how much painkillers you use? What does that sound like to you?”

Holy shit, she was right. “Get Xiomara. Now. And Grey.  Tell them to drop whatever they are doing and come here, right now,” I demanded. She nodded before hurrying off. “Noah!” I called, looking around. “I need you right now.  Rants, I need you to clear the food and drink, except anything that is sealed.” She bolted to the tables that had been set up against one wall.

Noah and my sister arrived at the same time, Xiomara and Grey in tow. “Xiomara, do you have bad reactions to any painkillers?”

“Yes,” she responded, confused. “Paracetamol. I had it once for a broken leg, and it just gave me a migraine on top of the pain from my leg.”

“Grey, what is paracetamol?” I demanded.

“Um, a narcotic, commonly known as hydrocodone or Vicodin,” they answered, equally confused.

“Have you ever taken it before?”

“No. My family does not believe in painkillers?” they looked uncertain at the line of questioning.

“Noah,” I turned, a pleading look on my face. “Can you please check all the consumables, as well as everyone on this deck, for traces of that drug?  We have very strong reason to believe someone has contaminated everything.”

“Huh?” Xiomara and Grey squinted at me.

“Tyche has an incredibly specific reaction to Vicodin.  It’s the only reaction any of us has had that can’t be passed off as stress.  It started, just now, about twenty or thirty minutes after she ate and drank some of the food that had been brought in.  She was fine this morning, after being holed up with nothing but bottled water for twenty-four hours, then suddenly it started again. What did you eat yesterday, Tych?”

“I didn’t,” she confirmed. “I was so miserable that I just couldn’t bring myself to eat anything.”

“Zach took you something,” I insisted. “He told me so.”

“Yeah, he brought me plain scrambled eggs, but I never ate them.  After I sent him to make sure you were eating, I dumped them in the nearest disposal.”

“Tyche, you are one-hundred percent sure that your reaction isn’t just stress?” Xiomara demanded.

“All due respect, Councillor Kalloe, but stress doesn’t turn your blood into molten lava,” my sister responded snarkily.

“Fair enough,” Xiomara agreed.  “Grey, what are the side effects of taking Vicodin?”

“Dizziness, light-headedness, difficulty concentrating, headaches, nausea, vomiting, constipation, anxiety, and mood changes,” they rattled off before tilting their head. “Yes, I do agree that most if not all of those can be also attributed to stress in a situation like this.”

“The drone pilots are dizzy, all the time,” I started. “Grey Hodenson can’t concentrate.  Xiomara and I have had constant migraines, among a few others. Nearly everyone has been lightheaded, dizzy, or just spacy in general. Add to that Tyche’s allergic reaction, there’s nothing else it can be.”

Noah shuffled and dipped, their version of a nod. “I will test everyone on the deck and any remaining consumables.  I will also start testing any food or drink that is brought in before allowing anyone to consume it.”

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[jessiewre]

Day 18

Weds 22nd Jan

Woke up with no alarm required, bliss, and apart from the building site noise going on, it was super quiet.

I jest - well, there was building site noise - but it was actually fine, we’d gone to bed so early that we were ready to get up anyway.

The bed had the ever-present African dip in the middle so we decided that we’d utilise the 3 bed situation available to us and Phil volunteered to sleep in the single bed that night. I half-heartedly pretended to argue but we both knew the double bed had my name written all over it. Plus my body absolutely KILLED from the trek. I had obviously worked a lot harder than Phil as he weirdly experienced no pain at all. I was now the one walking like a 100 year old lady with piles.

We had a Spanish omelette breakfast, drank some coffees, made ZERO plans for the day, downloaded Netflix shows and basically did as little as possible

At one point Phil said

‘I like the purple of those flowers’

This was the most exciting thing that happened all morning.

Actually - something incredibly exciting did happen.

Phil asked reception about their laundry service and they said, unbelievably, there there was a FREE LAUNDRY SERVICE available. Tipping optional.

Oh.

My.

God.

We practically gave them every single item in our bags including some questionable health hazard items we’d worn on the trek and it was THE most satisfying feeling to know they would be cleaned. Hoorah! It gives you the feeling that the holiday is starting all over again with a nice fresh start.

But yeah, we did frik all this day.

Another exciting moment was when Phil burst into a round of 20 push ups at random.

Reminded me of when we first met and we were at this party and I turned around to see Phil doing different styles of push ups for a small audience and I thought Eurgh what a prick, better get rid pronto.

So anyway, cut back to 2020 - we had a little lunch of vegetable tacos and chips (we definitely should not have ordered one each) and then Phil suggested we go for a walk. 
I honestly could not be arsed as felt I’d done plenty already with all the sitting around an that, and also my legs REALLY ached - but sure, I obliged and we went for a walk.

It was good to leave the hotel and all that but ya know what who am I kidding, it was an bang average walk - apart from when we saw a little kid taking his goat for a walk. That bit was good. A few kids looked as us and just said ‘Give me money’ which I honestly found annoying as its just such a rude way to put it. Obviously I guess they are not aware of that and are just trying their luck, but children in Uganda didn’t say this to us so its not a phrase we’ve been hearing so far. Other children have said I’m hungry or Give me food, which had definitely resulted in a positive response more often than ‘Give me money’.

By the end of the walk, Phil was still so uncomfortable from all the lunch he’d eaten (I felt fine btw) that he needed to shower and nap immediately.

Once the sun had calmed down a bit, Phil woke up just as this Canadian guy started chatting to us as he was passing. He was alright like, not unpleasant, but like after 10 minutes we were ready for him to walk away from our tent and take his snoresville chat with him. He talked sooooo slowly. He was like the sloth from Zootopia (if you haven’t seen that film check it out). He didn’t seem to take this hint so Phil decided to go for another bloody run and leave me their with this guy - I couldn’t think of anything I was LESS likely to choose to do at that moment than go for a run, but I swear the Canadian made it tempting.

Thankfully, I was saved by the bell by Irish Dan and had a lovely chat with him.

I spotted Phil returning and sort of hobbling on jellylegs as he made his way to me across the gardens. Turns out while on the run, a local had started running in front of him in crocs like he was racing him. Don’t know how accurate Phil was but he tried to catch him up and totally couldn’t. Then decided he would get a boda boda back as he was too tired to continue.

I can’t pretend I wasn’t ever so slightly pleased, considering he was all excited to go for a run the day after a massive trek and I couldn’t even tie my own shoelaces.

Phil then spotted something in the garden next door and ushered me over. ALL our laundry was laid out on the grass like some sort of car boot clothing sale. The lovely lady who’d washed it had done this to get it all dry. As most of it was dry, we folded it up to save her the job and then when we saw her gave her a juicy tip which she was buzzin about.

We noticed the restaurant staff putting the chairs away so this meant a storm was coming. We had a lovely sheltered balcony so we sat there as it rolled in and enjoyed the satisfaction of sitting outside but staying dry in a rainstorm. Is there anything better.

The waiter from the restaurant ran over in the rain to give us menus which was super nice and we ordered our food without having to move. Bangin.

He even bought the starter over to our room, an absolute touch.

We’d moved inside the tent by this point as the thunder & lightening had gone slightly crazy and Phil had done a poo in his pants. So the banana crisps and dip came inside the tent.

Well, this was a massive mistake.

The problem was that the dip was not a dip, it was chunks of tomato and raw onion with garlic and lime - a sort of ceviche salsa. I was so hungry that I ate most of it despite by huge aversion to raw onion (Phil was flabbergasted and a little disgusted).

And basically it completely STANK the place out. We didn’t realise until we came back after dinner, but it was like a raw onion party in our room. It actually burnt your nose to breathe.

The dinner we ordered was two rwandan dishes and we enjoyed both of them despite there being tofu involved.

Then bedtime in our separate beds (no much better) at the ripe ol’ time of 9:30pm.

[verai-marcel]

Inescapable Rapture (RDR2 Fanfic, Ch. 3 of 5, 18+ ONLY)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Find it on AO3 here.

Chapter 3: Bound Tighter

Notes: You fall deeper.

WC: 2217

A week had passed since you started living here, and it was also your day off. In the past few days since Arthur had taken you in your office, his aura had eased, becoming more like a guard dog rather than a ferocious wolf.

But anytime he came to get you, or if he was passing by, and he saw a male patient taking more than just a polite look at you? He would saunter up to you and ask how you were doing, see if you needed anything, and gruffly remind you, for the other man's benefit, that if anyone gave you trouble, he'd break their face.

Your male patients have been a little skittish around you ever since. And your female patients have been a bit jealous. Some of them come in hoping for a glimpse of him. So yesterday, partially out of spite, you slowly did your chores, so you'd have to stay just a little longer, making Arthur wait uncomfortably outside as the other women flirted with him. You could tell he just wanted to get away, but he had to stay nice.

That night, Arthur had punished you hard for making him wait, making you beg for your pleasure. You decided not to mess with him after that, and planned on doing your work as quickly as possible so you could go home on time.

You woke up this morning, sore but refreshed. You had slept in, and the sun was shining brightly through the window. Getting dressed and leaving the bedroom, you saw a plate of bread and cheese on the table, next to a note with Arthur's surprisingly beautiful handwriting.

Make sure you eat. See you tonight.

You scoffed; after the first few days when he noticed how hungry you got after work, he had asked if you had eaten lunch. You had shaken your head, and almost everyday after that, he had brought you a snack around noon, and made sure you ate it instead of putting it aside like you did the first couple of times. He was strangely considerate, in a very domineering way.

As you ate some of the cheese (it was tasty and fresh), you thought maybe this would be a good day to try to escape. Then you quickly shook your head. It was just one more week. And you hated to admit to yourself that living with Arthur had more pros than cons. You nibbled on some of the bread and you looked back on the week. True, he had ravished you every night. And sometimes quickly in the morning too. But he had also taken care of you, massaged your sore muscles, and cooked for you whenever you looked tired. It was definitely not how you imagined this experience would go, but it was not unpleasant.

You went outside to see his garden, overgrown with weeds, but still healthy and filled with flowers and herbs. You decided to do some work so you didn't have to think about why you stayed.

***

You barely noticed the day passing. You had taken breaks, snacked on all the cheese and bread, and taken a tomato straight from the vine. It was relaxing, just to be tending a garden, picking at the weeds while you enjoyed the outdoors. The birds were chirping, a light breeze was flowing by, and it was an all around peaceful day.

So engrossed in your gardening, you didn't notice Arthur coming up to see you. His horse was already hitched; he must have come from the other side. He called your name softly a couple of times before you thought to look up.

He walked up and kneeled beside you. Reaching up to wipe a bit of dirt from your face, he smiled.

“Kitten,” he crooned.

You immediately leaned closer to him, your lips parting. He reached for the back of your head, fisting your hair and pulling you in for a hot kiss. You wrapped your arms around him and let him push you down onto the ground, covering you with his large body. His back muscles felt so good under your hands. He started to unbutton your dress, working his way down your body until your dress was completely open, and he flung the fabric aside to expose your body to the air. You hadn't bothered with undergarments today, and seeing the bulge in his pants, you knew that Arthur approved.

“You surprise me,” he said with a lusty grin. “Couldn't wait for me to come back, huh?”

Grabbing your breasts and giving them a nice squeeze, he started to stroke and tease your body, tracing a sensuous line down your body with his fingers. You gasped as Arthur sucked on your neck, licked a hot trail from your collarbone, down your nipples, your belly, and then scraped your inner thigh with his stubble before licking your clit. He sucked on your sensitive nub, making you cry out and thrash your body, your hands digging into his hair.

He pulled back and laughed darkly, wiping your juices from his mouth and chin. Kneeling in front of you with his legs spread a bit, he began slowly unbuttoning his fly, and he gave you a sultry grin as your eyes went straight to his cock.

“You want this?”

“Yes, sir.”

He laughed again. “Oh kitten, you say such nice things,” he praised as he got you up on your hands and knees, your face level with his shaft. You opened your mouth and he shoved in, not waiting for you to move. As he began to fuck your mouth, he leaned over you to slip his fingers into your wet slit, pumping them in and out of you deeply.

You gagged around him, looking up at him with tears forming in your eyes when he pushed a little too deep. He backed off and caressed your face, shifting his angle so he could keep thrusting into your mouth without choking you.

“I want to be rougher with you. Think you can handle it?” he asked casually as he slowed his movements and took his fingers out of you. You whined a little, and he pet your head to soothe you like one would a cat.

You were lapping at his cock, not really thinking about what he was asking, so you just nodded mindlessly.

Then he suddenly grabbed the back of your head and shoved himself deeper into your throat, making you choke. After a few moments, he pulled out of your mouth completely, letting you cough and catch your breath while he moved to kneel behind you. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you up, his other hand on your lower back, keeping you arched, the tip of him nudging your opening.

“So wet for me, kitten. You like it rough?” he asked you in a low, gravelly tone.

“Maybe,” you mumbled.

He pulled your hair tighter. “Shouldn't you show me the proper respect as your keeper?”

“Then keep me properly,” you challenged, turning your head to stare at him defiantly.

You saw the look in his eyes shift, from playfully rough to a darker, dominating glare. He pushed you onto the ground and shoved his cock into you in one swift move. Feeling his full weight on top of you, forcing the air out of your lungs, he violently thrust into you.

“Learn your place, little thief,” he growled into your ear as he held down your arms, lifting himself up so he could angle himself deeper into you.

You moaned loudly; he was hitting a spot so deep in you that you were pretty sure you'd be sore for days. But it felt so good, just giving in, letting him take you like this. You didn’t have to think, only feel, and it was strangely freeing.

“Don’t forget, I caught you,” he rasped, his breath tickling your earlobe. “That means I get to punish you. However. I. Like.” The last few words were each punctuated by a hard thrust, crushing you and making you cry out with each shove. Then he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled upwards as he started rutting you so hard and so fast that you didn’t have the air to scream. You started to see stars, and your vision tunneled.

Arthur let go of you just as you were starting to get light headed. He pulled out of you and flipped you over with hardly any effort at all, and fell upon you again, forcing his way back inside of you while you let out high pitched moans. That animalistic ferocity returned, with him burying his face into your neck, biting your collarbone as he rammed into you, making your hips bounce off the ground. You wrapped your arms and legs around him and clawed at his back, but he quickly grabbed your wrists and held you down, making you completely helpless under him. He looked down at you, a feral gleam in his eyes.

“Mine,” he grunted while bending down to kiss you, devouring you as he bit your lower lip. You kissed him back viciously, your own savagery coming to the forefront as you sucked on his tongue. You felt yourself transform under his relentless pounding, like he was bringing out something primal within you. Throwing your head back, you were caught by your climax, a flood of pleasure pouring through your body as an untamed sound came from your raw throat. Your hips rolled up towards his as you rode your pleasure out, squeezing around his cock and gasping heavily as you came down from your frenzied high.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasped, pulling out of you barely in time and coming on your thighs. He groaned as he stroked every last drop out of him, breathing deeply. He gave a shuddering groan when he looked down at you, naked except for his spend all over your thighs, painted around your slit.

“You went wild there,” he observed with a small grin after a few minutes of both of you catching your breaths.

You just laughed. You weren’t sure what came over you in those last few moments. It was wild, for sure. But you did learn one thing about yourself: you came harder when he was rough with you. Feeling embarrassed by the thought of being one of those deviant women, you peered up at Arthur. He just gazed at you with an affectionate smile.

“You were real good. Really, really good.”

He gathered you and your dress up in his arms. “I’ll clean you up, sweetheart. My fault you’re such a mess now,” he said, kissing your cheek. You let out an uncharacteristic giggle, you were so giddy from the afterglow.

He actually carried you a bit farther past the house towards the stream that ran from the mountains. The water was cold, but clean and fresh, and you drank some as he wet his bandana and wiped you down. He kissed your bruises and nuzzled your neck once you were all clean. He took you back home, making sure you were okay to cook before heading back out to clean himself off and to collect more water for the basin.

You hummed softly as you cooked, and you realized something: you wouldn’t mind staying here for a little while longer.

***

After dinner, Arthur cleaned up the dishes with your help, and took you to bed. You crawled under the covers and got cozy as he took his day clothes off.

You sat up to watch him, and when he looked back at you, he froze, staring at you. You blinked, curious. Your hair was probably a mess, your chemise was hanging off one shoulder, your body tired and there were probably love bites and bruises all over you.

“What is it?” you finally asked, in a soft voice.

He reached out and held your face tenderly in his hands. “I’ve always wanted to draw you. Your gentle curves, your soft skin, your shining smile.” He pulled you into a warm embrace, grazing his lips against your skin. Then he pulled back, took the journal out of his satchel, and sat at the foot of the bed, looking at you.

“Stay still for a bit.”

You did.

A little while later, you weren’t sure how long, he stopped sketching and lifted up his journal to look critically at his drawing. Then he closed the journal without showing you.

“Can I see?” you asked.

“It ain’t good enough,” he said.

“Please?”

He paused. You leaned closer to him.

“Please, Arthur.”

He relented, and opened the page to show you.

You held your breath. The man had a talent, for there you were, rendered lovingly in pencil, much more beautiful than you ever saw yourself in a mirror.

“Is this how you see me?”

“Doesn’t do you justice,” he mumbled, closing the journal again and putting it away.

“It’s beautiful,” you said earnestly.

“That’s because you are,” he replied before getting into bed next to you and blowing out the lantern. He pulled you close and nuzzled your face again.

Your felt a warmth in your heart, and you heard him mumble something unintelligible as you both fell asleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

----------------------

Part 4 is here.

[bubblegumfiles]

Week 3 Food Diary/Workout Log

And other random thoughts

Day 15 - May 15, 2019

No food. Went to a nearby park and did the trail 4 times. Not quite sure about the exact distance so I’m guessing 4 is a mile? I finished in 37 minutes. I jogged a portion of the way on the middle two laps and I didn’t die l, so that’s a good sign. I’d love to be able to be a runner as a part of my new lifestyle. Just have to build up to it. Oh and I nailed the gallon of water goal again. I still feel like I could use a little more hydration though. Maybe I’ll try drinking more tomorrow.

Day 16 - May 16, 2019

Today was a berry day. When I got home from work a little after 4 A.M. I had 6 oz of raspberries (90 calories). My throat and the roof of my mouth felt mildly raw, I’m guessing from going a little over 3 days without eating anything but the berries tasted delicious.

A little later after some rest I tried to enjoy some blackberries but it seemed like I could taste the pesticides used on them? I’m not entirely sure but they tasted weird and I felt compelled to spit them out. Also my appetite hadn’t picked up like I was assuming it would after having something to eat. Maybe it’ll take a little more time.

The blueberries were better but Josiah loves fruit and ate quite a bit himself. And by the time I brought out the strawberries, Jo, Imani, and Kamari decided they wanted some too. So I don’t know an exact calorie amount so far but the total calories for all the fruit is 411 calories. I’m honestly not sure if it’s a good idea to only eat fruit since it’ll probably spike my sugar levels so suddenly, which doesn’t seem safe. Tomorrow I’ll try cooked veggies and salad or something.

No workout. Not much water either come to think of it. But mama and my coworker Tempest said they noticed a difference in how my clothes fit. That was so uplifting!

Day 17 - May 17, 2019

Drank an apple cider vinegar concoction with lemon juice and honey before having some cucumber and tomato, sardines, and grapes.

Later I had broccoli and 2 corn on the cobb, preceded by the ACV. The corn really let me know that in all my self negligence my teeth were probably the most poorly maintained. I feel angry with myself for not caring to love and take care of me in so many ways. Anyway, I had a serving of buttered white rice and I liked it. There’s something soothing about white rice to me. I know it isn’t nutritious but sometimes food has a more soulful effect than that. I understand that it shouldn’t be an all the time indulgence if I want to stay clear headed and goal oriented though. And I know this because I stopped at a serving size, had some water, and went to chill before work.

Felt hungry before I left so I had another serving of white rice. It did the trick.

Day 18 - May 18, 2019

Snacked on berries since I ended up at work longer than usual. Had ACV then oatmeal and eggs. Didn’t finish the oatmeal.

Went to Cracker Barrel for the mother/daughter brunch but ended up not eating. I got a bit overwhelmed briefly. Sucks because I was hungry. I was sleepy too though which made me more irritable. Snacked on a few grapes and the hunger went away.

I ended up extremely hungry later because I waited too long to eat and had sardines, brown rice and quinoa. I wanted veggies but by waiting so late, I was encroaching on headache territory. That’s why I took the easy way out.

Day 19 - May 19, 2019

ACV, 2 eggs, and a banana.

Another banana.

Then things got wild. Went to a buffet and had a little cabbage, a few mushrooms, corn, a little broccoli, some fried rice and different kinds of sushi. Not sure what the calorie count was at all. The worst thing was the 13 ritz crackers. Ironically the taste was weird to me when I bit into the first one but I chose to override it on purpose and ate them for whatever reason. I think I’ll have 3 heavy veggie calorie counting days then perhaps 3 no eating. We will see.

Day 20 - May 20, 2019

It’s been a while since I’ve exercised. I’ll probably do that tomorrow though and not eat again today. Not to deprive myself but because I don’t feel compelled to or hungry so I don’t want to force myself. It’s probably because I ate until I was full yesterday. Hopefully I can exercise everyday the rest of the week. I’d really like that.

Day 21 - May 21, 2019

So the good news is I made it to the gym. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill on the hills setting at 3.0 speed on level 4. Burned 436 calories apparently. The bad news is my gym is closing and today was its last day being open. Also I’m sure I ate the calories I just burned because I had veggies, a banana, and an unmeasured amount of white rice. Preceded by ACV of course. I’m content, no rumbling belly, but not full. Still, though, I probably had a liiiittle too much so I’m going to keep the rest of the day veggiefied. As for the gym, ATC Fitness was suggested to me and it seems like a nice option for only $5 more but I think I’ll stick with the park and body weight exercises for a bit and see how that goes. We have a treadmill in the garage for rainy days I guess. Why do I like white rice so much though? There apparently isn’t any nutritional value and it honestly doesn’t taste like anything but I feel pacified and soothes when I eat it. Sigh.

Had more mixed veggies and white rice. Forgot my ACV.

[gardencityvegans]

3-Ingredient Chia and Quinoa Flatbread (vegan)

https://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/3ingredientchiaandquinoaflatbreadvegan-0311-683x1024.jpg

Oh boy, allergy elimination diets are a breeze! Said no one ever. It’s been challenging to think of recipes when many of the foods and ingredients I love are also ones I should avoid for a bit before gradually reintroducing. So when I came up with these flatbreads, I was seriously overjoyed! There’s always a silver lining.

It’s hard finding bread-like foods with short ingredient lists at the grocery store, so I took matters into my own hands in the kitchen. It’s been a while since I made a flatbread (way back to my first cookbook). Six trials later, I finally nailed the recipe! (Of course, wouldn’t you know it, I went back to my second trial and only tweaked it slightly.) I tested soaked/sprouted raw quinoa, I tested cooked quinoa, I tested with a blender (and then a food processor), I tested with and without oil. I tested with varying amounts of chia seeds and water. And I ate every batch! Hah. Really these are hard to mess up, but some were definitely better than others. The soaked raw quinoa version was a hot mess and had the consistency of leather. #stillateit

What I love about these flatbreads is that they require just three main ingredients—quinoa, chia seeds, and oil (plus water and salt)—and they freeze wonderfully, so you can tuck some away and then simply pop them in your toaster whenever the craving strikes. I even found that the uncooked dough freezes and thaws beautifully, so that’s another handy option for you to try if you want to store some in the freezer. I’m all about anything to simplify life…especially as the school season approaches!

My favourite part is getting creative with the toppings. There are so many OSG recipes that are great on these flatbreads:

Sweet topping ideas

Raspberry Chia Seed Jam

Maple-Cinnamon Superseed Almond Butter

Luxurious Sunflower Seed Butter

Sliced banana or strawberries

Glowing Strawberry-Mango Guacamole (The Oh She Glows Cookbook, p. 81)

  Savory topping ideas

9-Spice Avocado Hummus Toast (Oh She Glows Every Day, p. 39)

10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas

DIY Burrito Bowl (the spicy black bean topping would be amazing on these!)

Golden Red Lentil Dal

Nutrient-packed Guacamole (The Oh She Glows Recipe App: iOS/Android)

Perfect Roasted Chickpeas (The Oh She Glows Cookbook, p. 220)

I can’t wait to hear what you think!!

3-Ingredient Chia and Quinoa Flatbread

Vegan, gluten-free, nut-free, refined sugar-free, soy-free

Packed with protein, these easy chia and quinoa flatbreads make the perfect healthy base for all your favourite toppings! This is a great basic flatbread that you can jazz up with delicious toppings. These crack a bit when rolled up wrap-style, so I prefer to simply eat them like fun open-faced sandwiches instead. Try serving the flatbread with mashed avocado, chopped tomatoes or salsa, hummus, green onion, roasted veggies, my 10-Spice Mix, flaky sea salt, roasted chickpeas, Hemp Seed Tabbouleh, and more. For a sweet version, top them with nut or seed butter, sliced banana, berries, and chia seed jam. They are also fantastic toasted in the toaster or toaster oven using low heat. The texture is soft and chewy with little pops of quinoa in each bite...yum! This recipe is inspired by the Crunchy Seed & Oat Flatbread from The Oh She Glows Cookbook.

Yield 9 (5-inch) flatbreads

Prep time 15 Minutes

Cook time 35 Minutes

Total time 50 Minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup (160 g) uncooked quinoa

2 cups (500 mL) plus 3/4 cup (180 mL) water, divided

3 tablespoons (30 g) chia seeds

2 tablespoons (30 mL) virgin coconut oil or olive oil

3/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

Directions:

Rinse and drain the quinoa in a fine mesh sieve and transfer to a medium pot. Add 2 cups of water, stir, and bring it to a low boil. Reduce heat to medium, cover with a tight-fitting lid, and cook for 13 to 16 minutes until the water is absorbed and the quinoa is fluffy. After cooking, remove the lid to let the steam escape and remove the pot from the element.

While the quinoa is cooking, preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C) and line a very large baking sheet (or 2 medium baking sheets) with parchment paper. If using 2 baking sheets, position 2 oven racks near the centre of the oven.

Stir the chia seeds, coconut oil (or olive oil, if using), and salt into the cooked quinoa until combined. Now add the remaining 3/4 cup water and stir again. It should look like a “soupy” quinoa mixture. Cool for 2 to 3 minutes.

Spoon this mixture into a large food processor and process for about 30 seconds (allowing steam to escape) until the quinoa is 50% broken down. There should still be some texture to the dough, and it’ll look like a thick, sticky paste with bits of quinoa throughout.

Scoop 1/4-cup mounds of dough onto the prepared baking sheet(s) several inches apart. You should have 9 mounds. Lightly oil your hands (to prevent sticking) and press down on each mound with the palm of your hand until the dough forms a small round shape, approximately 5 inches in diameter and no more than 1/8-inch thick. Shape the edges with your fingers so the circles are even. Grease your hands as needed to prevent sticking.

Transfer the baking sheet(s) to the preheated oven and bake for 20 to 23 minutes until the edges are lightly firm to the touch. Using a spatula, carefully transfer each to a cooling rack where they’ll firm as they cool. Add your desired toppings (see headnote for ideas) and enjoy!

Storing: You can refrigerate leftover flatbread in a sealed bag for 3 to 4 days or store in the freezer for up to 1 month. The uncooked dough also freezes and thaws beautifully.

Tips:

The 3-ingredient count does not include water or salt because I'm sneaky like that.

  MAKE IT AHEAD: The uncooked dough can be refrigerated in a sealed container for a couple of days (maybe longer?) prior to baking. The chilled dough shapes easily (you won't need to grease your hands), but you may need a couple extra minutes bake time if working with chilled dough.

Such a great discussion on my last post!! I truly appreciate each and every one of you for your support and for sharing your own experiences. <3

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[starshineskyandthepowerofrock]

Nightmares and Stallions

Part 9 of Starshine, Sky, and the Power of Rock.

CW for a little over a paragraph describing a gory nightmare. You’ll know when you hit the word “autopsy.”

I shouldn't be doing this to myself. This is torture. But the music is too good.

I'm encased in squishy padding. My body is cocooned in the soft blanket. Wilbur's terrycloth in my arms anchors me to home. The music does too.

The CD player sits on the pillow, right next to my head. It pumps electric power through the wires and into my earbuds and into my skull. Track 11 is still the best. There's no light in this casket, so I can just sink into it. Drown in it. Become it.

This album was a birthday gift. For my 10th, if I'm remembering right. So was the CD player. And the earbuds, now that I think about it. His gifts were always my favorites because he was the only one in my life that shared my taste.

There's something about the violence, the chaos of this music that awakens something in me. An electric shock to the system that gets me going. Tells me that I can do anything. That I'm not powerless. That I am power.

He got that. It was the same for him. I'd show up at his dad's music store, eye black and lip bloody because the kids at school were relentless and he'd remind me that the world was bigger than them. I was bigger than them. He didn't tell me with words. He told me with music. And I spoke to him the same way.

But this morning ritual isn't the same anymore because I still hear him in every note. The music that would bring me back to the real world after the constant nightmares is now pushing me deeper into them. Because he's part of the nightmares now.

So I should probably stop listening, right? But the music is too good.

💙💙💙

Star and I are supposed to be at the stables by 10:30, I guess so we can have time for breakfast. But my breakfast is in the stables anyway.

Almost all of the students' horses are already gone. I guess being stuck in one building, even one as big as this place, gets claustrophobic after a school week. I also guess the Land of Light is filled with morning people. I've seen enough of Fairy Dust Falls so I'll leave them to enjoy it. I don't think their horses like me very much anyway. Guillotine, on the other hand, is real happy to see me.

"Morning, buddy," I say as I put down my bag and go to stroke his neck. As usual I'm careful about going around the wad of gauze taped to the side. I look up into his blank eyes and can feel him looking down into mine. I sense the warmth coming from him even if on the outside all I see is something straight out of a nightmare. Or an album cover. Yeah I like that more. Speaking of nightmares... "You hungry?" I ask. Instinct tells me the answer is "Yes." I gently pull his giant head down until it's at the level of mine, move the hood of my cloak up and out of the way, push my forehead between his eyes, and dig through my brain to remember last night's horror show.

I've had autopsy dreams before but this one's getting to me more than the other ones. I mean obviously being cut open and feeling everything and seeing my own organs being pulled from my stomach and somehow puking all over my own guts gets to me every time it happens. But this time it was Boris doing the job. And he wasn't laughing like the normal guy. Everyone watching was laughing but he just stared into my soul. Every time I begged him to stop he only got rougher as he dug through me. The part I remember best is when his fingers sank into my intestines and he let them linger there so I could really take in the raw pain. At that point all I could get out was a desperate "Please..." He stopped for a second. Got so close I could taste his breath.

"Traitor," he spat. Then he yanked out my intestines harder than they'd ever been yanked out before, spraying bile everywhere. That'd been enough to wake me up.

My fingers tremble on Guillotine's face now. I want to throw up just remembering the awful dream. I press myself harder onto his head, let the fear take over. Bit by bit the knot in my gut loosens. My lungs still. The fear is drained away and into Guillotine, who relishes in what's no doubt a delicious breakfast. I open my eyes. Smile at him. He'd smile back if he could.

"Okay," I whisper, feeling around for the gauze and carefully peeling it back. "My turn."

The bite mark is starting to scab over. I always feel a little bad that I can't ever let it heal but I'm sure Guillotine prefers that over me picking a different spot every time and leaving scars all over his neck.

My stomach rumbles. I'd better get going.

My mouth opens wide. The tips of my fangs are placed just around the wound and I rest my tongue on the scab. It tastes like iron. I put supportive hands on Guillotine's neck. Then I bite down. Pull the scab back with my teeth. Blood pools in my mouth and I drink it up. I keep my lips pressed on his skin to keep any drops from escaping. I know how badly blood stains.

The blood burns my throat on the way down, it's so hot. It warms me from the inside out. Just a few more gulps and I'll be-

"Um, Sky?" a panicked voice asks.

An involuntary gasp makes me swallow through the wrong tube. I rip my mouth from Guillotine's neck, way harder than normal, and cough blood all over the straw-covered floor.

Star and Queen Diamond Shine stare at me. Star wavers between concern and fear. Diamond Shine tries to hide disapproval behind professionalism.

I try to stammer out an explanation but Diamond Shine cuts me off with, "I understand this as one of the... accommodations made for you."

All I can do is nod and pull out a clean rag from my bag to wipe my face.

"Um..." Star says, uneasy. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I rasp.

Diamond Shine stares at the blood splatters on the floor. "Well, you two have plenty of work ahead of you. Lunch break is at 12:30. You may not stop until sundown." She looks to me. "There are security cameras in here, by the way. Don't try anything." Then she leaves me alone with Star.

"So..." Star is having a hard time looking me in the eye. "I take it this is where you go every morning?"

I nod. "Yup."

"I see... Is your horse okay?"

"Oh! Guillotine!" I fold the rag over, get the peroxide bottle from my bag, and disinfect the wound. He recoils from the sting. "Shh... shh... it's okay, bud, I'm done. You did great, okay? It's okay..." I whisper.

Star keeps her distance while watching me redress the wound. "Do you, um, normally drink horse blood?"

"Oh Guillotine's is the only blood I have. He's my host."

"Your... host?"

"Yeah. Any decent vampire has one."

"I see." Star takes a couple cautious steps forward. She looks up at Guillotine. He snuffles her hair.

"You just ate, bud, give it a rest," I say to Guillotine, patting him playfully. I look to Star. "He eats fear."

Star steps back again. "Does he, now?" she says, failing to hide the wobble in her voice.

"Yeah Night Mares normally sit on people's chests while they're sleeping and give them bad dreams to get their fill."

"Hence the name."

I nod. "Yeah. But my dreams usually suck anyway so we kinda have a thing going. I feed him and he feeds me."

Star smiles a bit. "That's actually kinda sweet. You're like... parasites in mutualism." She gasps. "Hey, I should write that down!"

I smile back like I understand whatever she just said. "Yeah, exactly."

💙💙💙

Royalty never really meant much to me. Like, big deal, you ended up in the right family. So Star being a princess hasn't really crossed my mind all week because it's kinda irrelevant to me.

Now I can't forget it.

Star has clearly never lifted a finger her whole life. She's been holding the pitchfork wrong, she can't maneuver the wheelbarrow, she doesn't even sweep right. I mean I'll give her this, she is trying. But I'm still pulling, like, 80% of the weight because I'd rather have 20% of the job done wrong than half.

Come lunch I'd say we've made good progress. I sit at the edge of the landing platform, sandwich in hand, while Star lays next to me panting like she's had the craziest workout of her life.

"You good?" I ask, mouth full of lettuce and tomato.

"I'll be fi... ugh..." she rolls to her side. "Where's lunch?"

"You didn't bring any?"

"Your steak tartare, Your Highness," a guy in a pastel jacket says, coming towards us and holding a plate with a metal dome over it.

Star yelps and sits up. "Thank you!" she says, clapping. The guy sets the plate down, puts a cloth napkin over her lap, and bows out.

I knock on the dome. "Uh..."

"What?" Star says. "It's called a cloche." She takes it off to reveal a tiny mound of beef with an egg yolk on top and takes a dainty little bite with a silver fork.

It puts me off my sandwich for a bit. I can't help staring. "Is that... raw meat?"

"Mm hm," Star says between bites. "The normal dish is supposed to have, like, capers and stuff, but that makes me feel sick. Ugh, carnivore problems. I'll just take the protein, thanks!"

"Carnivore, huh?" I ask, vaguely remembering that most people in the Land of Light are vegetarian. "People ever give you crap about that one?"

Star giggles but there's a sadness to it. "Not to me, obviously, but my friend Citrus gets it from some jerk kids that don't get that we don't have a choice, you know? Like, one time Summer literally told him, 'You like the taste of dead animals, freak?' Like, first of all, lame and unsubtle, but also rude!"

I nod, deciding she doesn't need to know that I try to be vegetarian outside of the blood thing. "She seems like a b-"

"Malignant harpy? I know."

That's not what I was going for but that works too. I keep eating my sandwich.

"I bet you get some of that too, huh? Being a... you know... bloodsucker."

I almost choke on that last word but manage to swallow. "Don't call me that," I say, dead serious.

Star's cat ears flatten against her head. "Oh, I'm sorry! I just figured, you know, it's what you do, right?"

"I mean, yeah, but that word is just..." I shake my head. "Don't call me that."

"Oh, okay, um..." Star's trying to look for a way to change the subject. "So, if you only drink blood from your horse, then you've never bitten a person, right?"

"That's right," I say firmly.

...Alright so I've bitten one person but she was crazy and I'm trying to forget about her. Telling Star about that mess would just muddy the issue, you know?

...She wanted it more than I did, okay? Okay. Moving on.

"And you're totally done with the Band of Darkness, right?" Star asks.

"Yes." I'm not lying about that one.

Star scoffs. "So, there we go! People are freaking out over you for no reason." She pulls me into a hug that I wasn't prepared for. "And... I admit I was freaking out, too. I'm really sorry about that. Really." She pulls back and looks me straight in the eyes with her slit pupils. "Really."

I can't say why, but I believe her.

💙💙💙

We should be a couple hours away from sundown now and it looks like we'll be about halfway done by the end of the day. Perfect. Even more perfect, I think Star is starting to get into the swing of things. I'm willing to shift the workload split from 80-20 to 70-30. We'll see how this keeps going.

Kids have started coming back from their days out. Most deal with their horses themselves because they feel weird about having the princess do the job for them and don't trust a vampire not to rip out their horses' necks or something. We get a few compliments on our work so far. They're all said to Star but being invisible is better than being a target so I'm not complaining.

At one point a group of boys flies in and greets Star excitedly. One of them, a catboy with orange hair, picks her up in a big hug that brings her off the floor.

"STAR!" he shouts and puts her down. "It sucks you couldn't go out with us today! How's the punishment going?"

"Oh, I think we're getting along nicely, actually!" Star says, then gasps. "How about a spa trip next weekend?" They squeal together. So they're friends, huh? Maybe I should introduce myself.

"Hey," I say, walking up. "I'm Sky. I'm in Star's band."

The smile wipes clean off his face. His ears flatten against his head. He just stares at me with wide eyes. This was a mistake.

Star wraps an arm around his. "Um... Sky, this is Citrus. He's been my friend since we were kids in the orphanage."

I nod. "Nice to meet you," I say, trying to look as friendly as a monster can look.

Citrus tries to open his mouth but no sound comes out. He turns to Star, who's at a loss too.

That's when the — What did Star call her? — malignant harpy comes. She and her four sisters, one of who's supposed to be rooming with me but has been sleeping who knows where all week. I'm guessing with her sisters.

"Oh look," Summer says way too loud, dismounting from her shimmering white horse. "The princess... and her charity cases."

"Screw off, Glade," Citrus says.

Star holds him back, cool as ever. "It's okay, Citrus. She's just salty because I choose my friends based on their personalities and not... Sorry, Summer, what do you have going for you?"

I stifle a laugh.

Summer's eyes snap on me, then she gives Star a smug smile. "Careful, Your Highness." She gives an exaggerated curtsy. "You've already gotten in trouble. Looks like the bloodsucker is rubbing off on you."

I'm not laughing anymore.

Star gasps. "Don't call her that!"

Summer raises her eyebrows, finally getting a reaction out of Star. She turns to me real slow. Looks me dead in the eyes. "Bloodsucker." She relishes every syllable.

Keep your cool, keep your cool. Okay she doesn't seem like the type to get physical. I don't think I'm in danger. I think. But my fight-or-flight is going off anyway. Gah, why can't I say anything? What's wrong with me?

"I said don't call her that!" Star repeats.

Summer ignores her. "Going after royal blood, aren't you? I bet you wanna suck her dry, freak. Is that your plan?"

Don't move a muscle. You're stone cold. She just wants a reaction out of you. Don't give her one. My face is getting real hot.

Star steps between us. "Leave her alone or I'll tell my moms."

Summer scowls. "Whatever. Come on." She and her sisters leave.

"Oh, and Gossamer?" Star calls as they head inside.

Gossamer turns around. "Yes, Your Highness?"

"Mama says you have to start sleeping in your dorm room. Not your sisters'."

Gossamer opens her mouth to reply but Summer cuts her off with, "She's not sleeping in the same room as a coffin."

"I'm not sleeping in the same room as her," I call back to them but they've already left. I'm not sure they even heard me. I hope they didn't.

Citrus left in the middle of that. It's just us again.

"She's pathetic," Star says. "They're all pathetic. Forget them. Come on." She picks up the pitchfork the right way this time.

We get back to work. "You said you knew Citrus from an orphanage?"

"Mm hm," Star says. "I spent the first six years of my life there. He came in when he was three and I was two."

I stop for a second, just look at her. "You're an orphan?"

"Well, yeah, technically. Did you think my two moms were my birth parents?" She giggles.

"No, obviously. No, I guess I just... I don't know what I thought. The story I always heard was that they found you. They never said where."

"Probably because the Band of Darkness was the reason I was there in the first place."

Alright now I have to drop what I'm doing completely. "Your parents were killed by the Band of Darkness?"

Star nods like this isn't news. "Uh huh. It's happened to lots of kids. Citrus's too. By the way, I'm sorry about how weird he was around you. It's nothing personal, he just has a hard time trusting vampires since it was it was a vampire that his parents were... you know..." She makes a slashing motion across her neck.

There's a difference between knowing something happens and seeing the consequences right in front of you. I knew the Band of Darkness was making orphans left and right but I'd just talked to two without even realizing. And this one barely seems fazed by it! How normal is this to her?

Our shadows are getting longer and longer. The sky'll start changing color any moment now. In fact... I'm seeing a bit of orange!

"Looks like we can turn in," I say, stretching my shoulders.

"Ugh, I'm never breaking the rules again, that was exhausting!" Star says.

I chuckle to myself. If she thought that was bad she should see tomorrow. I'm splitting the work 50-50.

[itumbleandwrite]

Germany - Day 3

Alrighty. This is going to be a bit of a long post, mostly because I haven’t had much time to do anything the past few days except for sleeping. So I’m going to recount as much as I possibly can from the past few days.

So on Monday, February 13, 2018, I woke up, had a last-second shower, packed everything that hadn’t already gone into my new suitcase (thank you mom!), had breakfast, and headed to SFO International with my dad. We arrived early and waited for my fellow travelers and when they arrived, we passed through the checkpoints and onto the plane with ease. The plane in question was Air France, the same company my parents and I used when flying to France in 2013. The flight was smooth, and the food was good for a plane. I especially enjoyed their chicken and mashed potatoes. The chicken was in a bell pepper sauce while the mashed potatoes had been mixed with either spinach or kale, I forget which. Hey mom, maybe an idea or two there? By the time we got to France, it was February 14. We then boarded another flight to Berlin and when we landed, had quite the time dragging our luggage to our rooms. See, we had to take the German trains and while they were efficient, those stairs made life interesting. Once that was over, we had what was left of the afternoon (just about three hours) to relax. For dinner, we went to a nearby German restaurant. Along the way, we saw parts of the old Berlin wall and took a couple of pictures in front of it. While I would have loved to take a picture myself, it was dark by that time and my phone doesn’t do well in such dim light. At the restaurant, I really enjoyed the food! I had pork ribs and mashed potatoes, which was delicious and tender and fatty. Healthy? I don’t know. But it definitely was what the doctor ordered. It was far too much for me, sadly, but the food was still great.

The next day was February 15 and for our first activity of the day, we went to Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp. It was sobering. We toured various sections of the camp, such as the barracks, where the prisoners were housed, the medical center where horrific experiments were performed, and Station Z, a place where those who were killed would be cremated. To be honest, I think that I cried all of my tears two years ago when I toured a mock concentration camp in 8th grade with the Temple Emanu-El Fellowship program, so all I felt that day was complete numbness. Even when I saw the many many mass graves (I believe that at least five were pointed out), it was hard to comprehend. In addition, the camp was gigantic and all we saw was the main living area. The evil that humans can and will commit seemingly knows no bounds.

That evening, we went to the Topography of Terror. This was an exhibit which showed the timeline leading up to the Holocaust and the beginning years, especially the organization of the various police groups such as the SS and Gestapo, and the persecution of various groups such as political enemies, Jews, and Gypsies (Roma and Sinti), among others. In addition, there was a section dedicated to what the Nazis believed was the “perfect” human being, even among the Aryan “race.” I found the exhibit interesting but also saddening as I read about the oppression that went on in Hitler’s Germany. We then had a brief period of relaxation and went to have dinner at another German restaurant. The food there was excellent too, and I have pictures (I’ll put them up another day because it’s currently about 11:30 pm here) of my dinner and dessert. Yum.

Now for today, February 16, we had so much that I’m sure I’ll be forgetting something. We had breakfast and then started our Nazi tour. First, we went to a museum which talked about the resistance in Nazi Germany. Along the way, we passed two memorials: the one for the Gypsies and the one for the Jews. (Or maybe this was after. I’m still going to talk about it.) The Gypsy memorial was very small; just a pool of water with a poem written in English and German around it, but it was very calm and peaceful. The Jewish memorial was a stand of stones of varying sizes along uneven ground and we were given permission to wander through it. It was interesting; had I not known it was specifically for the Jews who died during WWII, I would have thought it to be a rather ugly art instillation. But knowing that it was a memorial changed my interpretation entirely; rather I feel that the stones represent the faceless millions who died and though they were all the same (all were blocks of stone) they were all different (all blocks were of different sizes). At the resistance museum, I took some pictures of a couple of other memorials dedicated to the various people who resisted Hitler during his reign. We also learned about several people who tried to assassinate Hitler or resist him by doing things such as spread pamphlets with differing points of view (needless to say, that couple was killed). Like the concentration camp visit yesterday, it was sobering but also made me feel hope because when I saw the amount of people who resisted (and especially for the attempted military coup, where fifty or more people participated and not once did they snitch on their fellow resistance members) it made me feel that even in the darkest of times, people will always hold out.

Then, we went to the Bundestag, or German parliament. There, we learned a bit about the history of Germany’s government and the setup of parliament. So there are sixteen states in Germany (including several city-states such as Berlin), which all get six representatives in the German parliament. However, each state only gets one voice (so all six people have to work together to get their ideas out) while the number of votes is three at minimum and can go up to six depending on how many people there are in the state. In addition, I found the coat-of-arms for each state very interesting. While I can’t recall all of their colors, I found that I could understand most of the colors which is sort of amusing; all that research for my book seemed to have paid off! In a rather interesting fashion, but still. Heh.

Lastly, we had dinner. Dinner was terrible today. We went to another German restaurant (seriously, I need other food soon because as much as I love meat, I can only have so much of the same food before I stop eating) and the food choice was horrible. I chose a vegetarian vegetable stew and it had too much raw onion, soggy potato, raw and soggy tomato slices, and over-salted vegan protein stuff. So I barely ate and now I’m hungry. Oh well. Breakfast is in eight hours and I can hold on until then. G’night and sleep tight, everyone!